#when I've already spent 2 months without doing so

[martsonmars]

desperately trying not to have a panic attack about university hehehe

#literally the only thing i'm supposed to do is study #am i doing it? nope of course. i have less than a month left to take exams and i should take at least 2 but i haven't opened a book in more #than a month and the thought fills me with dread and i literally physically cannot do it #it's possible that going back to my uni flat would help (it would be a change in scenery for sure) but on wednesday it will be a year since #my father died and there's this fucking church thing and my mother won't force me to stay but i really should. shouldn't i? #after all it's already saturday and i've already wasted 40 days. what's half a week more? #i keep staring at the list of exams and i know that if i spent every waking second studying i could get back on track and graduate when i'm #supposed to graduate but 1. it's not healthy and 2. my brain refuses to study for ONE exam let alone 14 so it's unrealistic #and at this point i should just accept that i'm going to graduate one year late and one year after all my friends because last year i did #absolutely nothing. and last autumn started out great. i moved. i was organised. and then the first week of october my mother was at the #hospital and i had to go home for a week and somehow i let that week screw up my entire semester #and now i'm panicking because i have only 18 days before the exam i'm supposed to take and it doesn't feel enough for everything i have to #study but it's not going to get better if i just let all the days pass without doing anything but i can't i can't i can't #so yeah i should be kind to myself and accept i'll need one additional year for all the exams and take it slowly which is the only way to #actually get things done. but i don't want to. i don't want to tell my mother that i failed at the one thing i'm supposed to be doing #but i really really can't it's hard and i'm failing and my head is screaming that i don't deserve hobbies and yet i keep wasting my days #it's one am and i should either sleep or relax because it's not like i can do anything now and yet i feel like i need to fix my entire life #right this second or i'll explode. i'm so tired of my thoughts. #please ignore all this ^ because i know most of it is irrational or whatever and i DON'T WANT to hear rational things #if you've read until here and really want to say something just tell me that right now i'm allowed to relax #any other comment would make me feel worse #💖💖💖 #**one month left to take exams this semester not forever hahaha but then i'd be supposed to take all the remaining exams in the summer #and i can't possibly take 14 exams between now and july which is why i'm panicking (there are other logistically confusing things in what i #said but i wanted to clear this one up at least lmao) (i'm already feeling vaguely better can't you see?)

[melbatron5000]

It's a 2-man Con

Listen, I think I know a thing.

When Aziraphale comes back from talking to the Metatron and is telling Crowley about being an angel, we've all heard the theory that he's speaking code, trying to ask for help. The more I look at that scene, the more that theory tracks.

Maybe less well-known is the theory that Crowley didn't miss a damn thing, he's answering in his own code. And again, the more I look at that scene, the more this also tracks.

(When my husband, annoyingly observant beloved partner that he is, saw the second season for the first time, he said, "That whole thing was a show for the Metatron. They have a plan. Crowley slipped something to Aziraphale when he kissed him." And I said, "Nah." But now I think he's right, and damn if he isn't smug.)

I'm gonna try to break down what I think they're saying here, because it takes just a hot minute to piece it together. I've been thinking this over for a couple of months now. I think I have most of it. I just don't know when Crowley puts whatever he's handing to Aziraphale in his own mouth. I need more eagle-y eyes, it seems.

First, Aziraphale comes back from his talk. He's pensive as he crosses the road, and anxious when he starts talking, and mouths "I need help!" as he's talking. He's acting like he does when he lies to the other angels, and once it's seen "I need help!" is pretty clear.

He does the whole thing about telling Crowley he could appoint him as an angel, like old times, but even nicer. It's all very uptight and not positive at all. My interpretation? "The Metatron is here, I think he knows we're up to something, we have to go to Heaven right now and put things right before he really does something awful to one or both of us. The time to spring the plan is NOW."

Crowley stares at him. At first it seems like he's staring in disbelief, but if you really look at his face, he's listening, hard, and interpreting as fast as he can:

He asks Aziraphale if he told the Metatron where he could stick it, then. My interpretation? "The plan has changed. I can't go with you to Heaven. You'll have to go alone."

Then Crowley starts his confession -- "We've spent our existence pretending we aren't."

Aziraphale looks at him -- not with shock, or surprise, or love, or hope, but with a "Why are you doing this now?" face. Not "Why did you wait til now to tell me, you love me, oh, I love you too!" But "Why are you telling me SOMETHING I ALREADY KNOW while our ENEMY IS LISTENING??" :

He's confused, but also listening and interpreting. What I'm hearing/seeing: I don't think this is a love confession from our demon. I think they are both well aware they love one another. They can't say it in so many words, and it's a secret from Heaven and Hell, but it's not a secret between them. I'm hearing Crowley set the scene. "The Metatron either wants us together in Heaven under control, or separated. I have things I have to do here or the plan won't work, so we'll have to separate. We need to make it look good. I do love you."

I don't think Aziraphale likes this change of plan. And Crowley can't detail why the plan has changed, not with the Metatron listening. So Aziraphale insists, come with me. The plan we had will work. Do it my way. Crowley says, "You can't leave this book shop." It's easy to interpret that as "You can't leave me," but I don't think it's that. He's saying something about the book shop being safe, or even that he can't leave without whatever they've hidden in the book shop. (I THINK THEY HID SOMETHING IN THE BOOK SHOP!) Aziraphale says, "Nothing lasts forever." I hear him saying the book shop is no longer safe, and they have to move/take whatever they've hidden and they can't speak freely there anymore.

Crowley replies, "No I suppose it doesn't. Good luck." He's gotten that much, but he is still set on his "We need to fake a break up because I can't go with you."

Aziraphale still doesn't like that. "Come back! I need you!" He's scared. Whatever he has to do in Heaven is big, and scary, and he needs and wants Crowley with him. He does not want to go into the mouth of danger alone.

This is when we get, "No nightingales." What I'm hearing? ESPECIALLY since if you listen, you can hear a LARK sing as Crowley goes out the door? It's the line from Romeo and Juliet, by Shakespeare, whose plays they both enjoy, though Crowley prefers the funny ones. "It's too late, that's a lark singing the dawn, not a nightingale singing to the night, we have to part. Our happy ending isn't yet."

Then the kiss. I do not believe this is their first kiss. I don't believe they've allowed themselves many, maybe not even more than one, but I do think they've kissed before. I'm not sure when, but I suspect 1941. (Season 3, come ON!!)

And when they part, Aziraphale stops himself from saying "I love you," and instead says, "I forgive you." I'm hearing so many things in that "I forgive you." I forgive you for leaving me on my own, I forgive you for hurting my feelings like this, I forgive you for changing the plan without telling me, I forgive you because you are forgivable whatever anyone else says, I forgive you because that's what I said when we split up at the bandstand and everything was okay in the end and I hope hope hope that everything will be okay in the end this time too.

Crowley says, "Don't bother." I'm hearing, "yeah, I hope it's all okay, too. Wish me fuckin luck. My part will be hard, too."

And as Crowley leaves, Aziraphale mouths, "No." And we hear a lark sing. A lark, singing to the dawn, and so fair Romeo must away.

Just because the break up is a ruse, doesn't mean it doesn't hurt and isn't hard. It has to look real, and so it's going to feel real, too. Ouch. :'(

And then Aziraphale touches his lips. Not once, but twice. My bad, he only touches his lips once. The first long second is pure emotion. "Why now, I hate this, I want that so badly and I can't have it."

After that, though --

After he pulls himself together a bit, he has a bulge in his cheek. He shifts his jaw to move whatever he has in his mouth to his lips, and then his first two fingers go stiff for a moment as he palms something right before he takes his hand away.

And then, this.

Edit to add: someone on Facebook asked me why a kiss to pass whatever Crowley gave to Aziraphale, why not palm it or drop it in his pocket?

My answers: 1. The kiss is a message. "We're still good, I still love you, I still want this." 2. The item is too important to be dropped in a pocket and hopefully found later. 3. The Metatron is paying WAY too close attention, and will definitely see them touch hands. Seeing a kiss and the angel rejecting the demon, though? Well, the demon forced that kiss on him, the angel didn't want it. Clearly the demon thinks this relationship is different than it is. It's a bigger gesture that sells the ruse. 4. Houdini's wife used to pass him the keys to his cuffs with a kiss before the show. This is a message that magic-loving Aziraphale WILL understand: here are the keys to your cuffs, sneaked to you by your beloved in plain sight.

That's it. That's what I got so far. I still have questions.

What did Crowley pass to Aziraphale? What's the plan? Why did it change? What does Crowley need to do that he can't go to Heaven again?

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens meta #aziracrow #final fifteen #ineffable divorce #good omens fan theory #2 man con #they have a plan #they played the metatron and we fell for it #the kiss

[vanteguccir]

Medium girl | Matt Sturniolo

Matt Sturniolo x reader | Nick and Chris Sturniolo x reader (platonic)

Summary: Where Y/N is a medium and Matt's girlfriend. She is invited to participate in the collab between Sam & Colby and the Sturniolo Triplets but ends up being targeted by ghosts all night.

Warning: Paranormal, supernatural, ghosts, mediumship.

Requested?: No.

Author's note: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

PS.: I spent long hours writing this, I was so excited because of the video and how this would come out! I hope you guys like it ♡

PS. 2: Another version of this same "universe" that I wrote.

༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺

"Guys, today we have some very special guests. You literally spent months asking us to do a collaboration with them." Colby said as he walked through the Driskill Hotel Hall with Sam at his side holding the camera. "The Sturniolo Triplets and Y/N!" The brunette finished, pointing to the four mentioned while the camera lens focused on them.

The duo had just finished their initial presentation of the channel and the place where they were, happy to finally do something that their fans had asked for so much.

"Are you guys excited?" Colby asked, clasping his hands in front of his chest as he looked at them with excitement on his features.

"Super excited." The triplets responded at the same time, smiling broadly.

"Very!" Y/N responded from beside Matt, her left hand rested on the brunette's covered back while Matt's right arm wrapped around her shoulder.

"Are you guys scared, nervous, or just excited?" Colby asked again, looking briefly at the camera.

"I'm scared." Chris responded quickly, his hands resting on his waist.

"I'm terrified." Nick admitted without reservation, receiving laughter from everyone there.

"I'm super excited, a little nervous, but super excited." Y/N spoke, nodding as a smile spread across her face.

"We wanted to ask this to you specifically. You're a medium, right?" Sam asked from behind the camera, adjusting it in his hands so that the lens caught the four of them and Colby, but with the focus on Y/N.

"Yes I am." The girl nodded.

"She's Lorraine Warren herself." Nick interrupted, pointing briefly at Y/N with his left hand.

"It's not that big of a deal, Nick." She rolled her eyes, not holding back her smile when she saw the boys laughing at the oldest of the triplets' joke.

"But you're good, right? We watched some videos and podcasts of the triplets, and they commented a few times in them about you being a medium." Colby took the lead, looking at her carefully, hoping she could help them with the investigation of that video.

"She is great." Matt spoke before Y/N could open her mouth, carrying a big smile on his face and a proud look in his eyes.

"I don't consider myself great." The girl rolled her eyes at her boyfriend's comment, feeling her cheeks heat up. "I've always had this 'power'." She made the quotation mark gesture with her hands. "I can see, hear, and feel. I remember that when I was a child, I didn't understand anything, and I was scared to death, especially because people said that only I could do those things, I felt crazy. Until my mother took me to my grandmother when I was 9 years old, and they explained it to me together. My grandmother was a great medium, and apparently, that passed on to me." She explained briefly.

"So you can do all three? And you have control over them?" Sam asked from behind the camera again.

"It depends on what the spirit or demon wants. I can feel anything, both energy and proximity. As for hearing or seeing, it depends on whether the spirit wants me to see or hear them. But when they want, I do all three perfectly, everything becomes very clear to me, as if they were really there in the flesh." Y/N explained, receiving nods from Nick and Chris, who were next to her paying attention to her words, even though they already knew that.

"And how do you react to that? You live together, right?" Colby turned to the brothers, bringing their attention to them.

"Yes, we always knew that Y/N was a medium since we all grew up together in Boston. When we moved in together after moving to LA, we not only knew, but we started living it." Nick began explaining, his eyes going from his brothers to Sam and Colby.

"Yes, she never went into much detail about what she saw or heard because we were always a little scared-"

"You're all pussy's." Y/N cut Chris off, releasing the sentence with a smirk on her face. Colby laughed loudly, shaking his head.

"Thank you, my love." Matt scoffed, getting a "your welcome" in return.

"It has become normal for us to be talking to her, and out of nowhere, she looks at a specific point that, for us, has nothing. Or she stops paying attention to what we are saying to listen to something that someone from beyond is saying." Chris continued after rolling his eyes at his sister-in-law, already used to her jokes.

"Yes, it's scary. Sometimes, she wakes up in the middle of the night and stares into space, sitting on top of our bed. I just pull the blanket over my head and pretend I'm not seeing it happening." Y/N slapped Matt's arm after his comment, muttering a "best boyfriend ever".

"Do you think you'll be able to capture the movements here well?" Colby turned to her, looking at her with a curious look.

"I hope so. I'm hopeful that they will be open to me and show me what I need to know." Y/N nodded, breaking into a smile.

Matt moved his right hand down to Y/N's left, intertwining their fingers and caressing his girlfriend's soft skin with his thumb, knowing how much she was looking forward to the video and wanting to feel helpful, even if she didn't need to be a super medium for this.

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

The six were now standing near the staircase where Samantha had apparently died after chasing a ball and tripping, rolling down the stairs.

Sam was standing on the second step while Matt and Chris were on the left side of the staircase, Matt leaning on the handrail, and Nick on the right side as they listened to the blonde's explanation.

Y/N was a little further away, Sam's voice was muffled to her while her ears picked up indecipherable whispers from all sides, as if many people were trying to ask for help, explain what happened at the hotel and sending hateful comments at the same time.

Matt's presence approaching her broke her from her trance, making her look up at him, seeing his worried expression.

"Is everything okay, baby?" He asked in a low voice, not wanting to attract the attention of the others.

"Yeah, I'm just trying to get a feel of the environment." Y/N responded in the same tone of voice, smiling softly, trying to calm her boyfriend and herself.

She was already used to seeing and hearing spirits since she had done it all her life, but this experience was different from any other she had ever had.

Nick looked at her momentarily, asking her if she was okay with just a move of his lips, receiving a nod in return.

Y/N decided to get closer to the others so she could focus on their main mission there, receiving answers from the spirits through the lanterns.

"Samantha, are you the only one up here on the stairs?" Matt asked after the boys asked several questions, his right hand holding Y/N's, trying to convey comfort.

"No." Y/N replied seconds before the red flashlight turned on, receiving looks from the five on her.

"Do you see any other ghosts up here?" Sam asked, watching Y/N's reactions carefully.

"Yes, I can't see them all clearly. Many are blurred, but I can see at least three up here, besides Samantha." The girl explained, briefly pointing to the spots where she saw the three aforementioned ghosts before turning her attention to the boys.

"Can you see Samantha?" Chris asked, raising his eyebrows, his blue eyes wide in curiosity.

"No, she doesn't want me to see her. But I feel her... Here." Y/N counted, closing her eyes briefly before pointing to a specific spot between Colby and Nick.

Nick looked at the indicated spot, moving away and going to Matt and Chris' side, feeling shivers run up his spine. Colby focused the camera on there, as if waiting for something to reveal itself to the lens.

Matt looked up at his girlfriend, watching her carefully, trying to make sure she was okay.

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

The six were now on the mezzanine, ready to stand in front of old mirrors, which were very expensive, while they tried to call for spirits through them, specifically for Carlota.

"Hey Carlota, we have five men here, but only four are single, and one of them is off limits." Matt began, looking around briefly as his right arm held Y/N close to him by her waist, not wanting to lose sight of her in the dark of the room.

Colby and Chris began to say pick-up lines into the air as they looked around blindly, causing Y/N to laugh. She couldn't believe they were actually doing that.

The scent of roses intensified around the group, making the girl divert her attention from the boys and also look around, looking for a source of the smell.

An intense tug on her hair made her take a step back, her hands flying to the spot as if she was trying to feel someone there, turning around abruptly.

"What was that?" Colby asked, stopping in the middle of one of his nonsensical pick-up lines.

"Someone pulled my hair." Y/N responded quickly, keeping her gaze firmly on the space where she felt a presence.

Matt turned to look at where his girlfriend was looking, keeping his hand in contact with her body, wanting to make sure she was still there.

"Are you sure that-" Chris began, stopping mid-sentence when he saw Y/N stumble forward, causing Matt's hand to lose contact with her body.

"Why don't you appear in front of me instead of pushing me around, Carlota?" Y/N spoke out loudly, her tone angry while her eyes rolled across the room, feeling several presences and trying to look for Carlota among them.

"Wow, calm down, baby." Matt asked, moving closer and touching her shoulder, only to have Y/N pushed to the side again.

It was obvious that that spirit, Carlota, if Y/N's intuition was right, didn't like the girl there for some reason. This was made clearer by the fact that she only pushed Y/N but didn't even touch the others.

"Are you sure it's Carlota?" Sam asked from behind the camera, zooming in on the lens and moving it so the camera captured the entire place.

"I can't see her, but I feel her presence. And it would make sense. She likes to be pampered and praised by men, having another woman in the same room as her might offend her." The girl explained.

"Or make her feel threatened." Nick added, receiving a nod from Y/N, who was still looking at specific points in the room.

"Get out." A whisper echoed directly against the girl's right ear, making her turn around abruptly, seeing only the female silhouette for a few seconds, before it disappeared like smoke.

Matt approached Y/N quickly as he saw her begin to show her nervousness, wrapping his arm around her waist firmly again, marking his territory and taking on a serious expression, looking around as if confronting whatever was there.

“You are not allowed to touch Y/N.” Matt stated, his voice echoing in a serious tone, tightening his grip on the curve of his girlfriend's waist.

The six stood in silence for a few minutes, waiting for something to happen again, but nothing happened.

"Matt took a firm stance, which probably proved to Carlota, or whoever was doing it, that they shouldn't touch Y/N." Colby explained to the camera. "If it worked so quickly, it probably means you have an aura similar to mine." He turned to Matt, who looked back at him with a confused look, not understanding what that meant.

"It is said that the spirits are afraid of Colby because he has a very "firm" aura, which scares them and makes them obey him." Sam explained, lowering the camera a little so he could get a better look at the couple.

"That explains why the manifestations at home lessen when Matt is around me." Y/N contemplated, bringing her right hand to Matt's left on her waist, stroking the area lightly in gratitude.

Colby resumed his explanation of what they would do in the room after noticing that nothing else would happen to Y/N, focusing his attention on the camera lens.

Matt brought his face closer to the top of his girlfriend's head, sealing his lips in the area for a few seconds, before moving away and exhaling the smell of shampoo and perfume that Y/N exuded, calming himself down.

"You guys are so cheesy." Nick interrupted their moment with a smile on his face, getting closer to feel some sense of comfort.

Y/N just laughed as she rolled her eyes, resting her head on her boyfriend's covered chest, feeling grateful to have him there to protect her.

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

"Do you want to do it yourself?" Sam asked Matt.

Matt and Sam had just gotten out of the elevator after doing the ritual, which brought no results. The boys that stayed behind were surprised, saying that the ritual lasted just a few minutes, less than they expected.

Y/N was next to Nick, looking carefully inside the elevator as if expecting something to appear there, but there weren't even any traces of ghosts, which left her confused.

Matt looked at Sam for a few seconds after his question, shrugging as if to say, "I'm already here, why not?"

"Babe, can I come with you?" The girl's voice sounded among the group, making everyone look at her briefly.

Matt nodded quickly, feeling relief fill his heart, knowing that he wouldn't have to do it alone anymore. He raised his left hand in the air, waiting for his girlfriend to take it, intertwining their fingers tightly.

"What if you never come back?" Nick began, making Y/N roll her eyes.

"I promise I'll bring him back intact." The girl interrupted the drama. "I'm Lorraine Warren, remember? I'm going to protect my Ed Warren." She added, making everyone laugh.

"Send me the numbers." The brunette asked, looking at Sam as he fished his phone out of his jeans pocket.

The couple entered the elevator, Matt holding the camera in one hand and his phone in the other.

"Don't forget to say "take me to another world"." Sam remembered before the doors closed, the two of them repeating the words being the last thing he heard.

"Okay, let's do this." Matt unlocked his phone screen, opening the messaging app and clicking on Sam's chat, seeing the texts with the numbers.

Y/N read over her boyfriend's shoulder before leaning over and clicking the button for the first floor, taking a deep breath.

"Are you okay, baby?" Matt asked in a low voice, arranging the camera in his hands so that the lens framed the two of them before turning his head to look at her.

"Yeah, just nervous." Y/N began, turning to face her boyfriend while putting on a nervous smile, cracking her fingers in an act of anxiety. "It's just been too much, I've never felt so many presences at the same time."

"I know, baby. I'm here-"

Matt stopped mid-sentence when the elevator door opened, the two of them turning to the it quickly, their eyes traveling down the hallway, scanning the place.

A sigh escaped Matt's lips when nothing happened, his hands relaxing and the camera moving slightly as he leaned in to click the next button.

He reread the texts sent by Sam before putting away his phone, taking his free hand to Y/N's shoulders and pulling her close, the warmth of her body calming him.

"You're brave today. I like this new Matt." The girl commented a few seconds later, looking up, her eyes meeting the blue ones she loved so much. Matt smirked, lowering himself momentarily, sealing his lips over Y/N's forehead.

The two remained in that position, their heartbeats accelerating each time the elevator doors opened again, before they relaxed when nothing happened.

Until the fifth floor, where supposedly a "lady" should enter the elevator. Y/N stood still when the doors opened, the hair on her arms stood up and her heart seemed to freeze for a few seconds before speeding up, feeling like her entire body trembled with each beat.

"Matt." Her voice sounded broken and weak. "She... She's right there." Y/N muttered, raising her right arm and pointing out of the elevator. Her gaze seemed to be glazed over.

Matt swallowed hard, tightening his hand around his girlfriend, wanting to make sure she didn't leave his side. He arranged the camera so that the lens was focused outside, although neither he nor the camera were capturing anything.

"She's not coming in. Something seems to be stopping her. But she's so angry." The girl said, her voice full of emotions, looking like she was about to cry.

"Alright, that's enough. Let's go back." Matt interrupted, leaning in and clicking the button to go down, placing himself in front of his girl, with the intention of protecting her or taking her attention away from the figure.

The elevator began to slowly close, the doors appearing to be held by something.

When it finally did, Matt turned to Y/N, lowering the camera momentarily and focusing all of his attention on her.

"Baby, are you with me? Are you back?" The boy asked in a low, soft voice, afraid of scaring her even more. His blue eyes looked into his girlfriend's, hoping to see them come into focus again.

Y/N blinked repeatedly before finally looking at Matt.

"Yes, I-I'm sorry." She asked, her voice coming out weak. She closed her lips in a thin line, trying to hold back the post-adrenaline crying.

"Hey, don't apologize, you didn't do anything wrong. Are you okay, baby? I just need to know this." The brunette was worried, he felt his heart tighten at his girl's features, and if he could, he would pass on everything she saw and felt to himself, just to spare her from all that.

"Now I am. I promise." The girl responded, nodding her head and offering him a small smile.

The sound of the elevator doors opening interrupted them, making Matt turn his back to Y/N and face the boys waiting for them, Colby already with his camera in hand and the lens focusing on the inside of the place.

"Wow, don't tell me you guys were- Wait, is everything okay?" Nick started the joke, believing that they would be kissing due to their position, but stopping in the middle of it when he noticed the expressions on Y/N's face.

"Y/N saw the "lady" who was supposed to enter the elevator on the fifth floor." Matt said, taking his girl's hand and guiding her out of it carefully.

"What?"

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

The group was now in room 525, ready to do the Estes Method.

Y/N was sitting on the edge of the bed, next to Matt, and facing the chair where the other two brothers would do the method. She had a soft smile on her face as she saw her boyfriend and brothers spouting barbs, creating a pleasant atmosphere, before Nick and Chris got under.

The girl kept her eyes glued to the duo, refusing to look around her despite hearing whispers. The words that Nick and Chris repeated, she could hear seconds before, sometimes even phrases, but she didn't want to pay attention to the ghosts there. Y/N wanted to know what they wanted them to know, and she would only get it if she heard what Chris and Nick heard.

The words came disconnected and fast. It seemed like the two were in an argument, often even complementing each other's phrases.

"Y/N." Nick spoke suddenly, his nose wrinkling under the red blindfold as if trying to understand where that came from, or hear better what it meant.

Matt quickly brought his right hand to Y/N's left thigh, maintaining direct contact with her as he kept his eyes fixed on Nick, a serious expression on his face.

"Unwelcome here." Chris spoke next.

Colby felt his fingers on the camera shake slightly. He knew well what was happening here, having already been through the same situation with Sam and their psychic friend, Amanda. He looked at Y/N with a worried expression, followed by Sam, who went over and sat on the bed next to the girl.

Matt pressed his fingers over his girlfriend's covered skin, taking a deep breath. He couldn't believe this was really happening.

"Yeah, it seems like the ghosts hate me." Y/N spoke with a nervous smile, letting out a low laugh, trying to calm the tense atmosphere that had settled.

She finally looked up and around the room, easily finding the ghost who had said that.

The "lady" from the elevator was next to Chris, staring at her with the same anger as before, showing her hatred for the girl's presence there. It was obvious that she didn't want Y/N in her hotel, but no one there understood why.

"Out."

"Her."

"Now."

"What the hell?" Y/N exclaimed milliseconds after Chris said the last word, turning around abruptly when she felt something grab her arm and let go seconds later, but curiously, her eyes didn't catch anything.

"Okay, I think that's good for now." Sam said after seeing her reaction, getting up from the bed and touching Nick and Chris, making them take off their headphones and blindfolds.

"Apparently, I'm unwelcome here." Y/N was the first to speak after getting the attention of the other two brothers. "Something just touched me, I swear."

"I just don't understand. Why would they try to attack Y/N? It doesn't make sense." Matt asked, turning to Colby in hopes of him having an answer, as he moved closer to Y/N on the mattress, trying to give her some reassurance.

"I don't know, sometimes spirits just choose one person to terrorize or attach to, and only they know why. Sam went through something similar once." Colby explained, pointing briefly at the blonde, who nodded.

The girl sighed, it's obvious that they would choose her, after all she could see and hear them. She looked around the room again, drowning out the sound of the boys' voices. Her attention was drawn to the bathroom, which had its door opened by Matt earlier.

She felt a presence there. It certainly wasn't evil, and it seemed to be calling for her, as if it needed her to come in there.

"Guys, why don't we try again, but in the bathroom?" Y/N interrupted Nick's sentence - without even knowing what he was saying -, turning to the boys with a firm look.

"Baby, are you sure? I think we're past your limit." Matt asked, uncertainty settling into his gaze as his blue eyes ran over his girlfriend's features, as if searching for any sign of fear there, but finding nothing but firmness.

"I'm sure, I feel like there's something there that needs to talk to us."

Minutes later the six had organized themselves in the small bathroom; Colby was standing in the bathtub while Matt sat on the edge of it, Nick was sitting on the closed toilet and Chris was leaning on the sink, both looking at his brother. Sam was standing in the doorway, still with the camera in hand, while Y/N was sitting on the floor, between Matt's legs and looking up, her eyes focused on her boyfriend's blindfold covered face.

Y/N had her right hand on Matt's thigh, caressing the skin carefully, trying to reduce the boy's anxiety and nervousness, knowing that despite him trying to be thought, he was afraid of what might happen, or if he would even be able to hear anything.

"A very deep breath." Matt spoke for the first time after going under, his voice coming out loud before mimicking the breath he heard.

Y/N frowned, looking around but seeing nothing. Seconds later, she felt goosebumps run down her arm and a wind on her right side, as if something had passed there and settled next to Matt.

"Love." Matt got the first word out.

"Is that why you're here? Because you love the hotel?" Sam asked from behind the camera.

"Couple."

"Are there any couples here with us?" Colby asked, pinching his lips with his fingers as he tried to think of possibilities, but there was no response from the boy.

“Are you referring to Y/N and Matt?” Chris asked suddenly, causing Y/N to look at him quickly, her eyes wide.

"Beautiful."

"Do you think they're both beautiful together?" Nick asked this time, resting his left foot lightly against Y/N's thigh, trying to keep her calm.

"Angry."

"Are you angry because they are a beautiful couple?" Sam asked, his brow furrowed in confusion.

"Room."

"Wait, that makes sense. There was a woman in the room while Nick and Chris were doing the Estes Method, it was the same lady from the elevator, and she was very angry about something, just like she was when I saw her in the actual elevator." Y/N explained, lifting her head and briefly looking at Colby, who carried a concentrated look. "She was staring at me with hatred, as if I had done the worst thing in the world."

"Angry."

"Wow, that's the fourth time tonight that the same word has been repeated." Colby murmured, his eyes wide.

"Is the woman in the room mad that Matt and I are a couple?" Y/N asked with uncertainty in her voice. She didn't understand why a many years old ghost would be angry at their relationship.

"Envy."

At that moment, Y/N felt a new presence in the bathroom, as if something had left the room and entered there, it being filled with hatred. The girl looked up and saw the same woman, this time closer, looking at her with the same look as before, but for some reason she didn't try to touch Y/N, or she couldn't.

"She's-" Y/N's sentence was cut off by Matt, who repeated words again.

"Touch. Hurt. Y/N." Matt spoke the words without pause, his hands flying to the headphones and quickly taking it off, followed by the blindfold. "No, you can't touch her. She's not yours." Matt growled angrily, standing up and pulling Y/N by her arms, making her stand beside him, before pulling her tightly to his side and wrapping his arm protectively around her shoulder. "You're not allowed to touch any of us, especially her." The boy finished, his blue eyes traveled around the bathroom, as if he was trying to find where the entity was.

"What the fuck dude?" Sam quickly lowered the camera, looking at everyone there in shock.

Chris and Nick took a rigid stance, as if they were ready to help their brother if necessary, despite there being nothing they could do against a ghost.

“Are you okay, Y/N?” Nick turned, looking at her with careful eyes, trying to read the girl's expressions.

"Yeah, she didn't actually touch me, but it was intense... I'm just scared. At least she's not here anymore." Y/N sighed, leaning into Matt, who patted her shoulder affectionately.

"That was crazy man. I didn't think the night would turn into this." Colby muttered, stepping out of the tub.

"It's okay, it's over now." Matt whispered in Y/N's ear, embracing her into his arms. She took a deep breath, breathing Matt's scent in, calming her nerves down.

The ghosts really hated her.

༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺

My asks are always open. Feel free to send requests or anything at all 🩷💋

#x reader #chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #fanfic #sturniolo x reader #fanfiction #love #sturniolo #imagine #matt sturniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo x yn #matt sturniolo fic #matt sturniolo x reader #matt x reader #matt au #matt fanfic #matt #matthew bernard sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #oneshot #paranormal #supernatural #sam and colby #sam golbach #colby brock #medium #video #collab #medium!reader

[nieded]

#RAINBOWROAD for Rainbow Railroad Charity Drive Redux Pre-Orders are open!

I am so excited to announce that I am taking preorders for copies of the entire #RAINBOWROAD trilogy starting today! Preorders will be open starting today, February 14th (happy Valentine's!) to March 13th. It will close at 11:59 MST.

Please reblog so we can spread the news!!!!

>>PRE-ORDER HERE<<

This past summer, I did a print run of the first part of the series, Sit Tight, Take Hold and printed 94 copies for charity. Many readers asked for books 2 & 3, and I had many others express interest in a 3-part bundle who missed the first run. I've spent November, December, and January prepping the next parts for print, and I'm so excited to share them with you.

So, what is included?

Option for a 3-book bundle including:

Book 1: Sit Tight Take Hold 424 pages on matte 80lb text paper, color printing throughout. Cover has matte lamination in color. Dimensions of the book are 6x9x.93. Weight ~2 lbs Art by Blairamok (See cover art above)

Book 2: How do you solve a problem like Ezira?, Accept a Little Spin, and Oh, there's a long way to go 408 pages on matte 80lb text paper, color printing throughout. Cover has matte lamination in color. Dimensions of the book are 6x9x.93. Weight ~2 lbs Art by DustandHalos (cover art below)

Book 3: Fools Rush In and bonus content, 0-60 in 3.5 468 pages on matte 80lb text paper, color printing throughout. Cover has matte lamination in color. Dimensions of the book are 6x9x1.06. Weight ~2lbs Art by Pyracantha (cover art below)

PDF copies of all three parts

Option for a 2-book bundle including only Parts 2 & 3 + PDF copies. This is an option for people who already own the first book.

Limited option for Part 1 discounted damaged books (15 available). This does not include PDFs. These books have cosmetic damage to the covers from shipping. Damage does no affect the print quality of the text.

Limited postcards that were extras from the first run (only 8 available)

Remaining Corvette Crowley posters, including A/B grade options, 12x18".

$20 PDFs of all stories that will include all the formatting of the print run and cover art! (Screenshots from the PDF proofs below)

Where are the proceeds going?

Rainbow Railroad is a North American-based organization that works globally to ensure safety and asylum to LGBTQIA+ individuals. This is the same charity we donated to last time, and it was a resounding success. Last time, we were able to fundraise $1,600!

Continued FAQ below:

How much does shipping cost?

For US residents, bundles will cost a flat fee of $10. They will ship via media mail through USPS.

For anyone outside of the US, shipping has been estimated through the cheapest carrier, either USPS or UPS minus $10. Unfortunately, I cannot control the cost of shipping, and I know that it is extraordinarily high. The bundles will weigh anywhere between 4-6+ lbs, which is expensive to ship.

Wait, I'm from the US. Why am I paying more for Media Mail?

While Media Mail typically would cost $4-6, the increased price is to offset international orders, whose shipping will cost anywhere from $20-60 with the discount. I hope you understand. I want to make this as accessible as I can without personally eating any costs. I am not making any profit off of this project.

When do orders ship?

Once pre-orders close on 3/13, I will order the books. There is typically a 2-4 week turn around for them to be printed and delivered to me. I then have to package and ship everything from my house. I hope to have everything shipped 1 month after pre-orders close, but I am only human.

US mail should take 2-8 days. International orders can take anywhere from 2-4 weeks, so please be patient.

If you are only ordering a damaged copy or postcards, both of which have already been printed, I will ship those out sooner.

When do I get my PDFs?

The PDFs and book proofs are the same, and they are 90% done. PDFs will be delivered via email by me once pre-orders close. I am still doing small changes and edits to make sure they are perfect!

If I order a bundle, do I also need to order PDFs if I want digital copies?

NO! PDFs are included with the bundles and only the bundles. You will not have access to them immediately, only once pre-orders close and I email them to you! Like I said, they are 90% finished, and I am stilling making small adjustments. (Kerning, I loathe you!)

What percent of proceeds are going to Rainbow Railroad?

100%! This excludes the cost of printing and shipping. For reference, the first print run cost $1,254 for the books alone, not including shipping and packaging supplies. Anything remaining goes directly to charity. I am not keeping any costs for labor or making any profit on this.

Wait, there's bonus content?

Remember when I said I was done after the trilogy? Well, @tut557 popped into the Discord server and said, 'Hey, what if they played Mario Kart...' This spiraled into a long conversation about all the different media promos they might do, and then I spent this past November writing another 50k of the #RAINBOWROAD universe for NaNoWriMo. This is also available on AO3, and I will be posting weekly while preorders are open. You can find it here.

#rainbow road #charity drive #rainbow railroad #good omens fic #please reblog and spread the word!!

[un-love]

drunk voicemails with svt (part 2)

a/n: after 11 months, it's completed lol. i'm sorry for taking so long, i'm terrible at this writing thing

find part 1 here

♡॒ dokyeom

i keep thinking about that night. all the things you said, the things i said. the hurt in your eyes. i wish i had reached a hand out to wipe your tears. i wish i could go back and tell myself to stop avoiding my feelings under the pretence of giving you space. but i can't. the only thing left to do now is wonder. and drink. in that order. to wonder if there's a chance that you didn't mean it. if it breaks your heart as much as it breaks mine. if your days are as miserable as mine, or if you've moved on. does it make me a terrible person to hope you feel incomplete without me? your side of the bed is still unslept on, your clothes still living in my closet. you're still here, so why won't you talk to me? i'm starting to lose track of the voice mails i've left you, i'm sorry

♡॒ mingyu

oh hey. this went straight to voicemail...i know we just parted ways but i miss you. we're still at the bar and if i don't say this now, i never will. i spent half the night looking at you, i know you knew. you looked beautiful. i should be feeling embarrassed or something but the liquor has washed away the shame. i can't leave this unsaid anymore. okay? it hurts to go through the same motions everyday. i don't want to spend my days wishing cheol invites you to dinner every evening. i don't want to steal quick glances at you just because i'm afraid you'll disappear if i look away. don't wanna see you in anyone's arms but mine. want to walk you home without being worried about what you think of me. but you already know this, don't you? you've always been able to look right through me. you probably think i've said too much, but i swear, nothing i say will ever come close enough to how i feel about you. i almost want to take it back, but i won't. not tonight.

♡॒ minghao

i think of you when i'm sitting down to eat, when my friends buy mint chocolate ice cream or when i see the shirt you gifted me discarded in the back of my closet. the sunset was three different shades of pink last saturday and i almost sent you a picture. can you come back to me? the winter chill has permanently made a home in my bones and i'm lost without your touch. the threads of sanity i'm hanging on by are worn out now. my best friend is giving me a look that says he wants to leap across the bar and snatch my phone, but i don't care. i want to make it right. call me please.

♡॒ seungkwan

you were right. i'm not okay...i'm doing terribly. *laughs* nothing is okay. it hurts everywhere. it hurts when i close my eyes, it hurts when i take a breath and it hurts when i think about how i've pushed away everyone who wanted to help me. i keep having this dream where you refuse to let go of my hand. i'm cold. everything around me is crumbling and i think it's my fault. i can't say that i don't deserve this, but i need you now. will you come to me? will you come and hold my hand?

♡॒ vernon

i have been meaning to ask you this. i- yeah. you remember that dress you have? the long black one with sequins all over it? you look so beautiful in that. AND when you put up your hair and i can see your pretty face? stunning. why is it so hard for me to say these things to your face, dammit? it's all true. i wanted to tell you this before we— well the reason i'm calling is because i wanted to ask you to be my date to the wedding. and no, no that's not the only reason why i'm telling you how beautiful you are. it's one of the reasons. the other one is that i'm drunk! you're gorgeous, angelic even. and you still will be tomorrow, when i'm sober. so you know, back to the fact that i need a date. i mean i need You to be my date. i would love that. so ... call me back, yeah? is it odd that i already imagined how you would look on my arm in that dress? probably. i'm hanging up now-

♡॒ chan

i'm looking at the clock ticking and the numbers are blurry but the only thing on my mind is that your flight is in six hours. and then in another twelve hours you'll be in my arms. you and me. it's always been you, you know? the thought of us not having to be apart ever again is making me crazy, i'm sorry. i'm not jinxing it, right? god. the first thing we're doing is going down to my favourite ice cream place!!! i'll drive you back home and to work everyday. and when you put your hand against mine, it'll be soft. it won't be cold, hard glass anymore. can you fucking believe that? it's going to be incredible. come to me soon.

#seventeen #seventeen fluff #seventeen x reader #svt fluff #svt angst #seventeen angst #svt x reader #svt scenarios #seventeen imagines #dokyeom x reader #mingyu x reader #minghao x reader #the8 x reader #seungkwan x reader #vernon x reader #dino x reader #lee chan x reader

[maraschinomerry]

Hi! Could you please write a Lockwood x reader fic involving the prompt: You aren't well, but you don't want to skip training and make them worry, so you continue on as usual, thinking it's not that serious. But that's proven wrong when you faint right in front of them mid-fight. Mixed with the dialogue: "You hold it like this and- why are your hands trembling?" Thank you in advance! 💙

Pretty Boy

Pairings: Anthony Lockwood x gn!reader

Content: mild swearing, whump (fainting as in the prompt), mentions of not eating or sleeping, cute flirty ending

A/N: thank you for such a great request!! I've actually also just got over being not well while I was writing this (I'm fine now and wasn't this bad!) so it was weirdly cathartic 😅

Word count: 2.3k

The blissful quiet of the kitchen at 35 Portland Row was shattered by an incredibly loud, almost violent sneeze. You threw your arm across your face just in time to catch it. That was weird. You never sneezed.

"Bless you," Lockwood frowned over the top of his magazine.

That was day 1.

On day 2, you were all out on a case, in a dilapidated Victorian house. In a divide-and-conquer strategy for such a big place, Lockwood and George had headed upstairs while you and Lucy stayed on the ground floor. Fumbling around in the dim light of the dining room, Lucy threw open the curtains to let in what was left of the evening sun, accidentally unleashing a cloud of dust which shimmered in the beam of your torch. You both coughed a little in surprise.

Your coughing didn't stop for the rest of the night.

Day 3 was spent relaxing, recovering from getting home in the early hours of the morning after a gruelling fight with a pair of Type Twos. Or rather, everyone else was relaxing. You were in your room, fluctuating between wrapping your shivering form in your duvet and throwing it off so you wouldn't melt into a puddle. The bowl of soup you'd made yourself for lunch grew cold where it sat untouched on your bedside table.

A sleepless night heralded the arrival of day 4. Your symptoms had mostly abated by the evening, and you desperately hoped to claw back a few hours of rest. By dinner time, bleary-eyed, you forced yourself downstairs to try and get at least one meal of the day. Fortunately, the kitchen was empty, so at least you didn't have to explain your recent lack of presence to anyone. Unfortunately, none of the contents of the fridge were even remotely appealing right now. You settled for a slice of toast which you took back upstairs. Two bites in, you felt your stomach flip. Great. The rest went straight in the bin.

A gentle knock sounded on your door the morning of day 5, after another night of tossing and turning without ever drifting off.

"Yeah?" you called wearily.

Lockwood poked his head in, dressed in a loose Henley T-shirt and sweatpants. "Morning. Just thought I'd check you were alright, you didn't come down for training." Oh shit. You and Lockwood had been doing weekly training together for months - it started not long after you joined the agency, when he'd come down to the basement for practice and found you already there, and you'd ended up sparring. It had happened a few more times, and eventually you fell into the habit of both going down on Friday mornings so much it became an unofficial appointment.

"Oh, sorry," you swallowed a yawn. "I lost track of what day it was. Give me five minutes."

"I sort of assumed you weren't coming down dressed Iike that." He nodded to your fuzzy pyjamas with a smirk, and you tugged shyly at the hem of the top. "Have you had breakfast?"

"Yeah." That was a lie. Lockwood studied you for a moment, and you wondered if he could see right through you, but then he nodded to himself.

"Alright, see you downstairs." He began to leave, but popped back at the last second. "I'm not saying the pyjamas are a bad look, by the way, they're cute, just maybe a bit warm for fighting in." He grinned again, and disappeared. What was that supposed to mean?

—

Five minutes later, as promised, you traipsed down the basement steps in runner shorts and a tank top. This was the last thing you wanted to be doing right now, but you loved getting one-on-one time with Lockwood and knew how much it would hurt him to break the tradition and how concerned he'd be about you if he found out you'd been ill.

Lockwood gave you another puzzled look. "Are you sure you're okay?" He'd seen you this low energy before, but normally only the day after a case.

You gave the most convincing smile you could muster. "Fine. What's the plan?"

He furrowed his brows once more, before apparently deciding against whatever he was thinking. "Okay, there was a new move I figured out on the last case. I thought I could teach you and see if you think it's any good?" That last part sounded so open and vulnerable. You could imagine what he was thinking - was it a fluke? Was it him overselling his talents? Did it look ridiculous? He got like that sometimes, needed snapping out of it. Reassuring. Your smile was more genuine this time.

"Sounds good, it certainly seemed effective."

You tried your best to concentrate while Lockwood demonstrated the move, really you did, but you were running on empty and the basement was so delightfully cool. Maybe if you just lay down on the floor for a bit, you'd sort yourself out.

"Did you get that?" Lockwood's voice cut through the fog of your thoughts, and you dragged your eyes up to meet his, which were nodding to your hands. You hadn't the slightest idea what it was he expected you to have got.

"Uhh…"

To your relief, he mistook your distraction for confusion and stepped closer to help, carefully off to one side to avoid the blade as his hands rested over yours.

"You hold it like this and- why are your hands trembling?"

You barely registered the alarm in his voice, or the uncontrollable tremor that was indeed present and spreading up your arms. Nothing in your body seemed to be responding properly any more. Did you still have hold of the rapier? Why was your chest so tight, not allowing any air in? An invisible wad had trapped in your throat, and you desperately sucked in a breath through your nose. Gosh, Lockwood smelled good. Lavender and bergamot. And he was pretty, too. So pretty. Those deep dark eyes, gazing at you with so much longing. No, not longing. He didn't do that, did he? Plus, he was frowning too much for longing. Concern? You didn't like it when he frowned. You tried to pout, but your lips didn't move. That was annoying. So were the lights. Had they always been this bright? It hurt. Everything hurt. You needed to leave. Now.

Panic took hold of the last working corner of your brain and sent a jolt of electricity down to your legs which finally reacted, carrying you shakily towards the stairs. You muttered something incoherent, mouth not quite as functional. The effort drained the last dregs of energy, and your legs stopped working again.

"Whoa, whoa-" a voice behind you gasped, hasty footsteps echoing. Who was that? There was someone else down here, wasn't there? You couldn't remember. Wait. There was a pretty boy, right? He seemed nice. You tried to tell him you were okay, you wanted to. As you pitched backwards, the silhouette of the pretty boy swam into view, blocking out the harsh lights above. That was better.

Everything went black.

—

You were laying somewhere warm and soft. That was odd. And it was less bright behind your eyelids. Where were you? Hadn't you been down in the basement? With the cold floor and the cold lights… and the pretty boy? Was he still here?

You tried to call out for him, succeeding only in a groan. The surface beneath you shifted by your feet in response, and your eyelids fluttered open a fraction. There he was. Framed by the golden rays filtering through the window behind him and dappling across his dark hair.

"Hey, pretty boy," you murmured. Proper words; that was more like it. Next step: opening your eyes fully.

Ah.

The pretty boy was Lockwood, brows knitted upwards as he shuffled further up what you gradually realised was your bed.

"Hey." His voice was thick, with the hint of a shake. "How are you feeling?"

You groaned again, moving to sit up. Lockwood instantly reached out, one hand on the small of your back and the other lifting the pillows to prop up behind you. "Been better."

Under any other circumstances, you think he'd probably have laughed. As it was, he huffed out a breath and you spotted a brief tic in his jaw. "That's a mild way of putting it. You collapsed in the middle of training. I had no idea what happened, I thought…" His gaze dropped to his lap as he trailed off. The silence clenched tightly around your heart. Eventually, he spoke again, still not looking at you, voice cracking and barely above a whisper. "I was so worried about you."

The tension in your chest pressed down further, and you thought you actually heard your heart shatter.

"Hey, Lockwood, look at me." You raised a hand, still trembling but for an entirely new reason, up to cup his cheek. At last, he looked. Those beautiful dark eyes were watery, and his nose ruffled as he tried to hold back the tears. "I'm okay, see? I'm here, I'm okay, and I'm so sorry for making you worry."

A warmth spread over the back of your hand as he brought his up to meet it. His fingers curled over yours, thumb rubbing calmingly across your knuckles. Whether the calming was for you or him, you couldn't say. "But are you sure you're okay? People don't just collapse like that, and you've been out all day." Your eyes widened a little as you glanced at your alarm clock. Almost 6. Wow.

"Honestly, it's nothing serious. Kind of stupid, actually; the irony is it all happened because I didn't want you to worry." That made him chuckle. That was promising. You continued. "I was ill - I don't know if it was a cold or flu or what - but that wasn't great to begin with, and then with it ruining my ability to eat and sleep I just… didn't have anything left to give."

You don't know what reaction you expected from Lockwood: frustration, confusion, disappointment perhaps. You certainly weren't expecting him to look quite so… guilty? "Why didn't you say something when I came to find you? We could have cancelled training." It came out sharper than you were expecting. Oh. There was where the guilt came in.

"I didn't want to break the tradition."

"To hell with the tradition if this is what it does to you!"

You faltered. Was it just your current condition, or had your mouth gone very dry? "Wait, I'm sorry, I didn't mean…" You took a steadying breath. "It's not just that. I don't mean it like it's some obligation. I love our sessions! Getting to have that time just for us, having it be our thing, it's the highlight of my week. And it's been a pretty shitty week so I wanted this one thing to be nice."

The fire in Lockwood's words died out, and he almost visibly deflated. His free hand reached up unexpectedly to brush a strand of hair from your face.

"Well, I'm glad it means that much to you, but next time will you please tell me when something's wrong? I can survive missing our date more than I can survive missing you."

Hold on.

You were definitely still ill. Your cheeks felt warm and your heart was pounding against your ribcage. That was the only possible explanation. Definitely nothing to do with the fact that the boy you'd been in love with for months had just called your training sessions a date. Oh god, you'd infected him too, his face was flushed. "Date?" you breathed.

"Only if you want it to be, of course, I don't want to jump to conclusions. Although you did call me 'pretty boy' barely five minutes ago, so I'm sure even George would agree with the legitimacy of my hypothesis." Oh, how you'd missed seeing that smirk he'd grown all of a sudden.

"I'm not entirely sure you can take the high ground on this one, love, when you said even more recently how you couldn't survive without me."

"I think so long as I'm right I can. Especially since, if we're going off who said something last, you couldn't even argue without calling me love."

"I wish we were still holding rapiers, I've got a chance of beating you at that."

Lockwood laughed, all earlier emotions replaced with nothing but tender affection. "Get some sleep, and then we can test that theory." He made to leave, but where your hands were still entwined you tightened your grip a little.

"Will you stay? Please? In case I didn't make it clear enough with fainting, I haven't been doing so great at the whole sleep thing."

When he nodded, you wriggled over to one side of the bed, allowing him to slip under the covers behind you. Everything about him felt cosy, and you snuggled towards that feeling. It took him aback for a moment until he draped an arm over your stomach, gently tugging you closer so the two of you slotted together like you'd been designed to fit one another from the start. His breath tickled your ear, but its constant rhythm slowed yours in turn. Your eyelids grew heavy.

"You know," you mumbled sleepily, "you could take me on a proper date. Only if you want to, of course, wouldn't want to jump to conclusions."

He squeezed you playfully. "I think I've got enough evidence to consider it. Lunch tomorrow if you feel up to it?" You hummed a contented agreement. As your eyes drifted shut, a feather-light kiss pressed against your temple. "Good night, love."

"Good night, pretty boy."

#lockwood & co fanfic #anthony lockwood x reader #anthony lockwood #gn!reader #lockwood & co

[captain19cb97]

A Surprise (M) b.c

Getting the chance to come back to Seoul for a couple months to work with your boyfriend's group, you also have the chance to show up without him knowing you're back, and the reunion is better than you hoped it would be.

Pairing: Idol!Chan x Fem!Reader | Older Sister!Reader x Felix

Word Count: 5.2k

Genre: Smut (18 + MDNI) Fluff, Established Relationship, Established Friendship w/SKZ members

Warnings: This story is 90% smut, if you are not 18 or older, please DO NOT INTERACT with this story. Unprotected sex (reader is on birth control, but regardless, be smart and safe! Use protection) Pet names (Baby, my love, love, babygirl, princess) name calling (Whore but affectionately it is unspoken but it's done consensually) Praise, cursing, light choking, casual mention of food.

You [9:35 p.m.] Min, Jinnie! I'm ready whenever you two are.

You set your phone on the counter after locking it so you could look around the apartment again for a moment. The company had paid to have some of your things shipped out, mostly clothes and things like that, because you refused to let them buy you new clothes, saying that you'd have nowhere for the new things to go once you flew back home. But you did compromise on letting them pay for everyday things, like kitchen utensils and the like, so you could actually inhabit the apartment for the close to 2 month that you’d be staying in it.

The company had asked you to come work with Chan and the guys, being that you were Felix’s older sister, and since they knew about your relationship with Chan, and how amazing of a photographer you were. You were obviously, more than happy to spend so much time with your brother, your boyfriend and the rest of the members, even if you were going to be working for a lot of the time.

It was still 2 months straight, though, and it was about to be the most amount of time that you and Chan have spent together, in person, since before getting together, since you’re living and working in a different country right now.

You stood in the doorway to the master bedroom, marveling at the sight before you. It was beautifully decorated- simple yet cozy- and there wasn't a single thing you could find to complain about as you continued to look around, even after hearing your phone go off from the kitchen counter.

You made your way back over to grab you phone, seeing that the boys had texted you back.

Minhooo [9:39 p.m.] We're on our way, Noona!

Hyunjinnie [9:40 p.m.] I'm so excited!

Little Bro Sunshine [9:40 p.m.] I can't wait to see you!

Jisungie [9:41 p.m.] Bin-Hyung and I will keep Channie-Hyung busy until you're at the dorm. Can't wait to see you either, though, Noona!

Seungminnie [9:43 p.m.] IN-ah looks like he's going to explode, he's so excited.

Innie [9:44 p.m.] I AM excited!

You [9:45 p.m.] I'm excited too, boys! I've missed you all so much

You decided that now would be a good time to text Chan, telling him you were finally home. Halfway through your flight, you'd messaged him- like you'd planned, telling him you'd had a layover for a couple hours somewhere, but that you were going to use that time to get some food and to walk around to kill time and stretch out your legs.

All in the hopes that he wouldn't question why you'd be texting him so much later then when your flight home would've landed already. You were so excited to surprise him, and you were thankful for the guys, for helping you get everything planned out.

You [9:50 p.m.] Hey baby! Finally made it home, but I'm feeling super jetlagged so I'm going to get some more sleep. I'll text you when I get up though, okay? I love you; I hope your day was good! 💕🥰

And after that, you waited for Minho and Hyunjin to knock on the apartment door and for Chan to text you back, which only took a couple minutes.

Chris💙 [9:54 p.m.] Glad to hear that you're home, my love. Okay, sleep well, I love you more xxxx &lt;3<3 I'm going home in a bit to do the same thing.

You [9:55 p.m.] Dream about me then?

Chris💙 [9:55 p.m.] I already do, love

Chris💙 [9:56 p.m.] Get some rest, babygirl. I'll talk to you later?

You [9:56 p.m.] Cheesy boy! Videocall when I get up? If you're not busy.

Chris💙 [9:57 p.m.] Only for you. And I'll never say no.

You [9:57 p.m.] I know 💕 night, baby

Chris💙 [9:58 p.m.] Good night, love &lt;3

After another few minutes, finally loud knocks sounded at the door, and you could barely contain your excitement as you pulled it open to two smiling faces.

You didn't even say hi, just quickly grabbed them both, pulling them in for a tight little group hug as they both laughed at your reaction, but hugged you back just a tightly.

"I've missed you both." You sighed happily, letting them go after a moment.

"We've miss you, too, Noona." Minho smiled at you as Hyunjin nodded.

"Lots," Hyunjin added, hugging you again. "How was the flight?"

You let out a soft sigh, "Not too bad, I slept most of the time knowing that I'd need the rest for the time difference. Honestly, I'm just tired from all the photoshoots I’ve done this last week and a half."

"Looking forward to a few days with nothing to do?" Minho asked with a smile.

You grinned, "Absolutely. After that, it's going to be a busy and long few weeks. But I can't complain when I get to see you guys so much again finally."

The boys smiled, "Well," Minho started, "You could complain, but we all know that we're going to make sure you have no reason to."

"Or have plenty of reasons to." Hyunjin laughed.

You shook your head, rolling your eyes at both of them, "You two are ridiculous."

"And you missed us." Hyunjin pointed out, a wide smile on his face. "But that's a topic for another time, because Changbin-Hyung texted me and they're leaving the studio soon so we need to go."

"Let me grab my things then," You said, spinning around towards the counter only a few steps away from you, glancing back at Minho, "Did Jisung order dinner like we planned?"

He nodded, watching you quickly pull a familiar looking hoodie over your head, "Yeah, it'll get there about the same time as us, if we leave now."

You scoffed playfully, pulling on both shoes, "Alright, alright, come on then." You smiled, making sure you had the key to the apartment in case you couldn't remember the code, before shoving your phone into the pocket of the Chan's hoodie and following them back out the door and down the hall, making sure the apartment door was shut and locked behind you.

The whole drive was spent just talking to them about everything that had been going on since you'd all been together back on their last tour, Chan had finally gotten the chance to spend some time back home with his family after a few years and you'd been so excited for him.

When Felix told you that he was going too, you were even happier, knowing your little brother was getting the chance to go home to be with the rest of your family for a little while, even though you were a little upset that you couldn’t also be there.

The boys told you about the few concerts they'd had since coming back to Seoul, some things that had happened in the studio when they were practicing and just everyday life for all of them- little things that Chan or Felix didn't always have time to tell you when you would talk to either of them.

The closer you got to the dorm, the more excited, and nervous, you became, and they both noticed- even in the dark of the car. Minho glanced at you after he finally parked at the dorm, offering you a small smile, "It's going to be great, Noona. Don't worry too much, okay?"

Hyunjin put his hand on your shoulder before you guys got out, "Yeah, Channie-Hyung isn't going to know what to do when he sees you."

"All I know is that I'm definitely going to cry." You mumbled, climbing out of the car, "How much time do we have?"

Hyunjin unlocked his phone, "Hannie said they just left the company, so we have like 15 minutes or so."

You nodded, following behind them into the building, "I'm so excited to see the rest of the boys."

"Yongbok-ah's been freaking out most of the day, he barely slept last night." Minho mentioned as you guys stepped off the elevator finally.

You cooed softly, "Yeah, he'd been texting me nonstop until my flight boarded about how excited he was. I missed my little brother." You smiled as they stopped in front of the dorm and Hyunjin put the code in before turning the handle. He smiled down at you before he slowly pushed the door open for you, motioning for you to go first.

There was a loud gasp as you stepped through the doorway, "She's here!" You heard Innie yell before three sets of arms engulfed you into a tight hug.

You giggled, squirming a little to get your arms free to hug them back, "Hi, boys!"

Felix laughed, "I can't believe you're actually here!" he exclaimed.

"I missed you, Noona." Innie grinned.

Seungmin smiled widely, "Took you long enough." He joked softly.

You managed to get your arms free, and touching each of them as you smiled happily, "I missed you guys, too." You told them before you all pulled apart from one another before you grabbed Felix for a long hug. “I missed you.” You whispered, feeling your eyes sting slightly as you hugged him.

It had been a long time since you guys had been together and since you and Felix have always been so close, it’s been hard being apart this long.

He immediately relaxed against you, hugging you just as tightly, as he sighed softly, “I missed you, too, Noona. I’m so happy you’re back.”

10 minutes or so later, you were firmly planted on the center cushion of the couch, facing the front door and watching Hyunjin accept the takeout boxes from the delivery guy with a smile and a soft 'thank you' bow before closing the door and facing the rest of you with a smile.

"Food's here, now we just need the star of the show." He joked, taking the bags into the kitchen.

"Han just texted me," Minho looked up at you, "Changbin-ah just parked, so they'll be up in a minute."

You let out an excited but shaky breath, "Oh, man, I'm weirdly nervous." you admitted softly.

Felix dropped his head to your shoulder and let out a soft chuckle, "That's okay, Noona! This is how Channie-Hyung was in LA before you got there."

You grinned at him, tightening your hand around his for a quick second, "Really?"

Seungmin nodded, "Oh yeah. He couldn't sit still, from the second we got back to the hotel until he ran out of the room to meet you at the elevator."

You grinned at the memory of that night, at how excited you had been to see Chan standing outside those doors when they opened. You hoped that's how he'd feel now.

Minho looked at the boys, "Okay, they left Channie-Hyung in the lobby, so they're coming in in a second and then he'll be up after that, so we should go hide in the kitchen." He looked at you as they all started getting up and walking away from the living room, "Ready?"

You took a deep breath and nodded, "Ready."

He smiled just as the door burst open with two panting boys who quickly looked around the room for you before they ran at you for a quick hug.

"He's almost up here, we waited by the elevator until he got on." Changbin said quickly, letting you out of the hug.

"He must have found it weird that you two just left him like that." You chuckled softly, watching them head for the kitchen too.

Han shook his head, "We were messing around before that to make it look more real. Changbin-Hyung 'chased' after me for smacking his hat off outside the car." He explained.

You just let out a quiet laugh, "You guys really went all out for this, huh?" You asked softly.

They both smiled at you as you stood from the couch to stand a little ways away from the door for when Chan opened it. "For you guys? Yeah! And we'd do it again." Han grinned.

Minho grabbed his arm, "Sentimentality later, he should be at the door in a minute." he whispered, tugging Han into the kitchen with him.

You just shook your head and spun around, keeping your eyes on the door until you heard the handle starting to turn and your heart began beating so fast, you were worried it would beat out of your chest as the door was slowly pushed open.

"You know," Chan's voice started before he had even put a foot through the doorway, "You two are lucky that there wasn't anyone in the lobby, to see you guys being-" He stopped talking, his eyes landing on your pair of shoes by the door as he stepped inside, before his eyes slowly landed on your figure in the middle of the living room, the rest of his sentence slowly falling from his lips. "Like that.."

It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop as you smiled at him. "Surprise." you whispered finally.

Already, you could feel your eyes stinging with tears as his mouth dropped open slightly as you stared at each other for a solid 10 seconds before he launched himself at you. Dropping everything he had been holding in his hands to the floor before his arms wrapped around your body, tightly, pulling you into his chest until your feet were off the ground.

He buried his face in your neck, breathing deeply as he somehow pulled you closer to him- not fully believing that you were there, that you were in his arms again as he heard you let out a soft cry into his shoulder where you had buried your face, your arms wrapped tightly around his neck, and your legs around his waist.

"You're here. You're really here." He breathed out, a few tears dropping from his face onto the fabric of the hoodie adorning your body. "I can't believe you're actually here." he whispered, cupping your tear-streaked cheek as you nodded slowly.

It was so nice to be home.

"I'm really here." You whispered back before he quickly blanketed your lips with his before you both pulled away again, hugging each other tightly as you finally put your feet back on the floor.

He took your face in both of his hands, his vision slightly blurred from happy tears as he smiled down at you, "You lied to me." You let out a tearful laugh and nodded, he sighed, leaning down to kiss you again, his lips brushing yours lightly, "I missed you so fucking much."

You eagerly kissed him back again, fisting the fabric of his jacket at his waist, "I missed you, too." you mumbled, pressing your forehead to his once you'd both pulled away.

As soon as the boys realized you guys were done kissing- Han had peeked his head out the kitchen doorway to double check- they all quickly emerged into the living room again, cheering loudly like the dorks they are, for you both.

Chan looked at them, a mix of bewilderment and pure surprise on his face as the realization hit him, why they'd all been the way they had been since the day before, "You guys knew?"

"We helped plan this." Seungmin answered him, a proud smile on his lips.

Chan glared playfully at Felix, “You! You knew too?”

Felix couldn't stand still, bouncing happily on his feet, "Oh, it was torture having to keep this a secret from you, Hyung." He breathed, "But so totally worth it!"

Chan felt you lace your fingers with his, making him look down at you, "Definitely worth it." You grinned up at him.

A couple hours later, after you’d all eaten and enjoyed just spending the time together, you and Chan got ready to leave for the night. The boys had told him that he had the next few days off, to just enjoy spending time with you before you and Felix spent a day or two together, before your busy schedules really started.

Chan looked down at you and nodded gently, before turning to look back at the guys, "If you guys need anything, just text me. Or her."

"Chan, they know." You giggled, offering the boys a smile, shouldering your purse finally. "Either or though, doesn't matter."

Minho shook his head, "We'll be fine for a few days. Just like when you went home, hyung. Now get out of here and spend some time together."

He smiled wide, nodding in response, "Thank you, guys. Really. We'll see you in a couple days, I guess."

You grinned, throwing a smile back at Felix then the rest of the boys, "See you guys this weekend, don't do anything I wouldn't do."

Han laughed, "Knowing you, Noona, that's not a lot."

You faked a hurt expression as you pulled open the front door, "Wow, Ji, just wow. I mean, you're right but still, damn." You sighed playfully, "Don't do anything that will get you in trouble." You offered instead, smiling back at them, "Better?"

Chan let out a soft sigh, "I'm worried about what you talk about with them." He joked, taking your hand in his, "Have a good few days, boys."

You giggled at him, rolling your eyes playfully, "Nothing bad, obviously." You looked back at the rest of them, "Bye, boys! Goodnight."

Finally, after hearing them all bid you goodnight and goodbye, you and Chan disappeared through the front door and down the hall, enjoying the soft silence that had enveloped you both as you made it down to his car.

"Princess." He grinned, opening your door for you before quickly throwing his backpack into the backseat.

You let out a soft laugh, shaking your head as you slid into the seat, "Thank you."

He chuckled, rounding the car himself, after making sure you were in the car and your door was shut. After a minute or so, he'd put his music on low, and grabbed your hand in his, pulling it up to his lips, "I still can't believe you're actually here." he whispered again, lips grazing your knuckles.

You smiled, leaning over to kiss his lips. Keeping your hand on his cheek as you slowly pulled away, "I hope it was a good surprise."

He nodded quickly, touching his forehead to yours for a moment, "You know how much I've missed you; I couldn't be happier right now."

You pecked his lips again before settling back in your seat fully, "Neither could I."

He grinned over at you, squeezing your hand once before finally pulling away from the dorm and onto the road to your apartment, following the gps that you’d put into the dash when you first got in the car.

The drive was quiet, comfortable, and your hand never left his until you both were getting out of the car a couple minutes later. You waited at the front of the car for him to grab his bag from the backseat, and it was only then that you realized he didn't have his laptop. Which you pointed out as much when you guys got into the elevator.

"If I have the days off, and I have you, I don't need my laptop." He answered with a smile, "I'd rather spend all this time with just you, and not worry about working on anything."

You could feel the warmth of his words spreading through your body as you made it to your apartment door, "As much as I adore that sentimentality, baby, what are you going to do when you can't sleep and want something to do?"

You felt his chest against your back as you went to open the door, stopping when you felt his lips graze your ear, "Why would I want my laptop, when I can just do you, instead?"

Your breath hitched and your barely turned your head to look up at him. Seeing that cocky, smug grin on his lips didn't help the sudden want growing within you, "You're shameless." You said weakly.

His smug look only worsened as he finished opening the door behind you, "When it comes to you? Yeah." He muttered, gently pushing you inside the apartment, keeping your gaze as you both moved, before shutting the door with his foot.

You pulled him closer to you, not even bothering to properly put your things down before you pulled his lips down to yours in a heated kiss, moaning softly at the feel of his hands on your ass as he pulled you closer to him too.

It was a miracle that neither of you crashed into anything as you led him down the hall and into the bedroom, clothes trailing behind you after being haphazardly pulled from your bodies. Lips and hands barely left each other's skin as Chan laid you on your back on the bed, moving to hover above you, a lovesick grin on his face the second he looked down at you.

"I don't know how I got so lucky to be with someone as beautiful as you." He whispered, cupping your cheek lightly.

You flushed under his gaze and words, diverting your eyes from his, "You know damn well I think that same thing about you." You mumbled, meeting his eyes again and reaching up to cup his cheek too.

Chan grinned, turning his head to press a soft kiss to your palm, "6 months is way too long without you. I'm going to show you how much I missed you, my love." he whispered, leaning down to capture your lips with his.

You nodded just barely, relishing in the way he was already running his hands softly over your body, "Show me." You pleaded gently, arching your back as his hand found purchase between your legs.

He trailed his lips down your neck, lavishing your skin in unspoken confessions as he rocked his hips into yours- limbs tangled, wrapped around each other as you both steadily found yourselves closer to the edge.

You gasped, feeling him thrust deeper, but keeping the same pace, "J-just like that, baby, fuck yes."

He grunted above you, watching your face scrunch up in pleasure as you clenched around him again, "You're so good to me, love," He panted in your ear, "So fucking good to me."

You whined, throwing your head back into the mattress as you clenched around him and dragged your nails down his back, "You're the one doing all the work, baby." You hissed, feeling his lips latch around your nipple. "I should be telling you how good you are to me."

He chuckled, barely lifting his head to fully gaze up at you, "The sounds you're making are telling me enough, babygirl." He grinned smugly, lapping his tongue around the perked bud again.

You arched your back at the feeling, eyes closing as you sighed in pleasure before pulling his face up to yours, both of your hands on his cheeks as you met his eyes, "I love you," You panted softly, your lips grazing his, "Ruin me, baby. I want more. Please?"

He closed the space between your lips, grunting into your mouth as he hoisted your leg over his hip, his fingers digging into the flush on the back of your thigh, "You want more, huh? I'll give you more, babygirl."

If you thought you were rushing towards an orgasm before, you had no idea what you were truly in for. Chan braced himself with one hand on the bed up by your head, the other still tightly holding your thigh as he picked up his pace, moaning at the feeling of you clenching around him again as you moaned out loudly at the change in pace.

"This what you wanted, huh? You wanted me to fuck you instead of make love to you?" He let out a dry chuckle, bowing his head a little, and watching his cock disappearing inside you. "Do you want me to fuck you like you're a whore? My little whore?"

"Yes!" You cried, hands gripping the sheet beneath you as you squeezed your eyes shut, "Fuck, baby, yes. 'm your whore, I-I wanna be your whore."

He quickly pulled out, leaving you gasping and confused until he roughly grabbing your waist, "On your hands and knees then, babygirl. Whores don't get to look at me when I fuck them."

You had to keep yourself from moaning at his words as you did as he told you, dropping onto your forearms as he gripping your ass with both hands, squeezing and spreading your cheeks a few times, before you felt the tip of his cock at your entrance again.

You had no idea where this sudden change came from. The few times you guys have had sex since getting together, sure he'd fucked you, but, God, not like this. Not that you were complaining, you'd gotten a taste of this Chan on the many, steamy phone and videocalls over the long months, but this was different- this was first-hand, and you were living for it.

You moaned at the feeling of him rubbing his tip up and down your folds, wiggling your hips slightly in anticipation, "Please?" You begged, turning to look at him over your shoulder.

He put his hand on the middle of your back, pushing your chest further into the mattress, "You'll get it, babygirl. Behave."

And as he finished saying the words, he slowly pushed back into you, bottoming out before pulling out again just as slowly, listening to you gasp at the difference in angle.

As much as you both liked being able to look in each other's eyes, grabbing each other's faces to pull the other into heated, deep kisses during sex, this angle was making him hit every spot within you, and he knew it too, just from how you were crying out, and burying your face into the sheets as you clenched tightly around him, pulling him deeper.

You could feel the burn in your knees from the prolonged stance as you pushed back against him with every hard thrust. You could feel his fingers digging into your hips as he pulled you backwards into him each time, too. And listening to him let out low, deep groans as he fucked into you was quickly sending you headlong into an orgasm you knew was going to hit you hard.

You could feel it as he pulled you up and back into his chest, bucking up into you as he wrapped an arm across your chest, the other falling between your legs as his rubbed rough figured 8's onto your clit- the overstimulation making it harder for you not to fall limp on the bed, and had it not been for Chan's arms, you would've.

One of your hands gripped around his wrist on the arm across your body, taking his hand and moving it to the base of your neck, the other reaching behind you both, around the back of his neck as he continued to thrust, panting heavily into your neck.

"Are you close?" he grunted, enjoying the feeling of your body pressed tightly against his as your hand fell to his ass, grabbing a handful.

You nodded quickly, dropping your head back onto his shoulder, "So close, baby, I'm so close." You whimpered as he gently tightened his hand around your throat, as the knot in your stomach quickly tightened. "Fuck, I’m gonna cum.”

Chan's hips faltered for a moment, feeling you clench around him before he picked up the same pace, letting your throat go and grabbing your chin to make you look at him. "Cum for me then, babygirl." He demanded, "You've been such a good girl for me- my pretty little whore." He brushed your lips with his as your walls tightened around him again.

You cried out, letting him silence the sound with his mouth on yours as you finally came, ears ringing as the pleasure overtook you as he continued roughly thrusting into you, letting you ride it out until his hips stopped and he spilled inside you only moments later, panting heavily as he let go of your jaw and pulled his hand from your core.

He held you against his chest as you both tried to catch your breaths, bodies sticky with sweat from the heat between you both.

You felt his lips at the base of your neck after brushing your hair to the side, "You okay?" He asked, adjusting you both as he pulled out.

You whimpered softly at the oversensitivity, but nodded, "Perfect, you?" You asked, turning to look at him as he stood from the bed.

He grinned down at you, a tired expression on his face, "Never been better."

You barely huffed a chuckle, slowly moving to put your feet on the floor to stand too. "Shower?"

Chan didn't reply, only held his hand out to you, helping you stand on wobbly feet before following you to the bathroom. He looked at you, an amused look in his eyes as you stood slightly unsteadily as you turned the shower on, waiting for the water to get hot. "You sure you're doing okay?" He teased.

You glanced back at him, splashing a small handful of water towards him as you stuck your tongue out at him. "I'm probably going to be a little sore in the morning, but yeah, I'm fine."

He nodded as you turned back around, his eyes shamelessly raking over the naked expanse of your body as you paid him no mind. His heart felt full, having you home with him again, and even though the distance was tough and sometimes painfully hard, in this moment, he felt like it was worth it.

He hadn't realized that you'd finally turned back to look at him, ready to tell him the shower was ready. You caught his eyes, your brows pinching together in question as he just stared at you still.

"What?" You asked finally, the word spoken so softly, it was almost drowned out by the stream of water behind you.

He took the two steps between you both, hand coming to rest gently on your waist and smiled down at you- a look of pure love and adoration in his eyes as you tilted your head up to look him in the eyes. "I’m just so happy you’re home again. I love you." Was all he offered in response before he gently pressed his lips down to yours in a chaste kiss.

You sighed into the kiss, smiling as you both pulled away, "And I love you. Not to ruin your sappy love moment though, but can we get into the shower now? I, uhm, have your cum coming down my thighs." You said softly, cheeks slightly darkening before Chan let out a quiet laugh and nodded, letting you go before slapping your ass as you climbed into the shower.

You yelped at the sudden contact, spinning to playfully glare at him as he followed behind you, pulling the shower curtain closed, "Really?"

“It was right there,” He sent you a cheeky grin and shrugged just barely, "Couldn't resist."

#bang chan au #stray kids x reader #bang chan x reader #bang chan smut #stray kids smut #chan smut #chan x female reader #chan x you #stray kids fluff #stray kids imagine #chan fic #stray kids fic #chan x y/n #chan fluff #stray kids drabbles #chan drabbles

[jeonqkooks]

our beloved summer (05) | jjk

You made a vow to hate Jeon Jungkook ever since he packed up and left you without a single explanation, but when he shows up at your door after years of radio silence, it turns out that maybe your resolve isn't as strong as you thought.

pairing: producer!jungkook x songwriter!reader

genre/warnings: exes au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, drinking, swearing, crying, Sad Boy JK Hours ??, valentino!yoongi bc that should be a whole warning 🥵 even though he's there and not really there for literally 2 seconds lol

rating: PG-15

word count: 9.5k

note: this is the most stressed out i've ever been while trying to post a fic 💀 argh anyway, 2 obs updates in one month ?? is this even real life !! consider this a (lunar) new year's present from me to everyone who celebrates it and also to everyone who doesn't !! idk i'm bad at notes and i'm delirious so that's it 😗

series masterpost / main playlist ; interactive playlist ; moodboards ; taglist

— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

Hey, I feel like if we gave it one night You'd hate me less and make it alright Just wish that we could fight now I'd hold you on the comedown

Rockland - Gracie Abrams

One thing about you, is that you don’t do well with change.

After you moved out of the first apartment you got as an adult, you constantly went back to your old neighborhood even though it wasn’t close to your new place. You kept walking those familiar streets, kept shopping at the stores where the workers knew your name. At night, you still pictured yourself living there, with all of your furniture and clothes and decorations that you’ve already emptied from those old bones. Then, you imagined what the new tenant was like, if they could feel the lingering love you had for that apartment. You wondered if they were putting the coffee table you left behind to good use, or if they thought that it looked out of place among all of their belongings and had already thrown it away.

Jimin called you weird for that, but he didn’t know that you always leave a piece of yourself everywhere you go. The biggest pieces, you think, are hidden somewhere in a closet in your childhood bedroom where your mother still lives, and in the tiny space of your dorm room where you spent most of your college years.

It took you more than half a year to finally start considering your new apartment home. 

Because you hate change. Change is scary. Change is walking into a pitch-black tunnel with no flashlight, not knowing what awaits you in the darkness and not knowing if you’ll make it to the other side.

That isn’t to say that change is inherently bad. You’ve experienced good changes before. Arguably, Jungkook was a good change when he went from someone you couldn’t tolerate, to the love of your life back then. You were happy with him, so blissfully happy that for a while, you forgot what it was like to experience any other emotion.

Yoongi has always been your friend. It didn’t take you two very long to become well acquainted with one another and from there, develop a good friendship. You have never thought of him as anything other than a friend. Even when he was your boss, he still felt more like a friend.

As you sit next to him in a bar too empty for your liking – but seems right for a Tuesday night – you feel a palpable shift between the two of you.

When your phone vibrates with a notification, you glance at it only to exhale annoyedly – unclear whether this frustration is directed toward yourself, or the person blowing up your mobile; maybe it’s both. That’s the nth message that Jungkook has sent you in the last couple of hours, and you don’t need to read it to know that it’s probably another iteration of the same apology. How many different ways are there to say “Hey, I’m sorry for fucking the receptionist and then having the balls to tell you that you’re the unprofessional one when you didn’t even do anything.” Apparently a lot, because the texts just keep coming.  

“Jungkook again?” Yoongi asks from beside you. Fuck. You’ve mostly been silently moping since he brought you here, too enmeshed in your own web of muddled thoughts that you forgot he’s someone you need to make amends with too. 

You give him a nod but still continue to stare at the drink in front of you, trying to disentangle your Yoongi thoughts from your Jungkook ones. 

Taking a sip of your drink, your face manages to keep a grimace at bay as the liquid ambushes your tastebuds. You don’t like whiskey, but you need something to hate more than yourself tonight. When you set the glass down, the alcohol sloshes around like a compact sea of your own amber-colored miseries.

“I’m sorry,” you say finally. “This is unfair to you. I don’t know what came over me. I just want you to know that this isn’t me responding to…” To your confession.

“If you’re about to say what I think you’re about to say, then I have to stop you right now.”

“Yoongi…”

“I’m not saying that you can’t turn me down, although I hope you don’t do that,” he chuckles. “I’m just saying that whatever you do, whether you give me a chance or reject me, I want you to decide after you’ve really thought about it, about me.”

You can’t say no to that; it’s only fair. Yoongi knows what he deserves. You haven’t looked at him in any other way, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t. Didn’t you say it yourself, that maybe you should start putting yourself out there? Well, here is someone coming to you before you even have to look anywhere. You may not have expected Yoongi, but then, you didn’t expect Jungkook either.

Yoongi could be the good change you need.

Nevertheless, you want to tell him you’re sorry for the other night. It should be fairly simple, but the words have a hard time dislodging themselves from your throat.

“I’m sorry about what I said that night at dinner… and what I did…”

Yoongi props an elbow on the bar top and leans forward to rest his chin in the palm of his hand, his eyes glimmering with mischief. “Remind me what it is that you did again?”

“Come on, I’m serious.” You are grateful that he’s trying to keep it light, though.

“I’m serious too. I seem to have forgotten.”

“Yoongi…”

“Yes, Y/N?”

You sigh, shutting your eyes momentarily. Recalling the moment makes you flush with embarrassment, bringing a splash of color to your cheeks which Yoongi always seems to enjoy.

In a quiet voice, you say, “I’m sorry for throwing salt at you…”

“You threw salt at me!” He tips his head back, laughing freely. The bartender spares you two a glance at the sudden disruption. “You shouldn’t go around throwing salt at people!”

“Stop laughing! I’m trying to apologize.” You punch his arm out of habit and for a second there, you forget that your relationship with Yoongi isn’t the same anymore. Changed forever.

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop. Jeez, why are you so violent?” He rubs the spot where you hit him, muttering under his breath something about him bruising like a peach. “Apology accepted. No hard feelings.”

“Okay, good. But I still want you to know that if you were expecting anything from tonight…”

Yoongi ruffles your hair with a scoff. “I’m not that dense. Of course I’m not expecting anything.” When you peer at him with curious and unsure eyes, he continues, “Y/N, earlier you looked like you wanted to set the place on fire and Jungkook looked like he was about to shit himself. Tonight, I’m just a friend who’s here for you if you want to vent. We’re just two buddies having a drink, that’s all.”

He makes it sound so simple, while your brain is already going haywire.

Despite yourself, you chuckle at his words. You tell him how much you appreciate it, though you don’t really tell him anything about what happened this afternoon, just that Jungkook said some stuff that pissed you off. You can’t tell him exactly what Jungkook did to anger you without alluding to the confession for which Yoongi is letting you off the hook for now.

“Do you wanna come with me tomorrow?” Yoongi asks.

“Come with you where?”

“I have a shoot with Valentino in the morning.”

“You have a photoshoot not even 12 hours from now and you’re here drinking? Aren’t you gonna wake up puffy or something?”

“Yeah, my manager would kill me if she knows what I’m doing,” he replies casually, like his manager has a telepathic connection with him and she can sense him mocking her over a drink. When people see Agust D, they tend to only see the icy exterior that he dons. That tough, maybe even callous, image has sustained him in the entertainment industry for years. For many, Agust D seems intimidating and unapproachable. That’s how you felt when you first met him too. But after a while, you got to see Min Yoongi, and Min Yoongi is nothing if not warm and tender-hearted, even if he’s a little shit sometimes. At least, that’s what he has always been like to you. “She thinks I’m getting my beauty sleep right now.”

You lightly snort at that, telling him, “Yeah, you need it.”

When you start to yawn, Yoongi calls a driver to drop you off at your place. The ride is mostly silent, because you’re tired and because you’re not sure what to say to Yoongi in the presence of a stranger taking you home. The car pulls up to your building soon enough, and before you can step out and tell him goodnight, he offers to walk you up. He takes the elevator with you to your floor, how gallant but unnecessary. When you reach your door, you wonder whether you should invite him in for a glass of water or something. If this was a week – or even just a couple of days – earlier, you would’ve had no reason to hesitate.  He doesn’t ask if he can come in but instead takes one of your hands.

“I see you’ve been giving yourself some TLC. They’re a lot better now,” he comments, smoothing his thumb over your skin. You’ve been diligent with your hand care routine since he gave you that lotion. It feels nice, and it smells amazing. Besides, your hands were starting to hurt anyway.

Silence descends upon the two of you as you become aware of Yoongi touching you, and the weight of the answer you’ve yet to give him. He must feel you stiffen, because he lets you go and smiles.

“Relax, princess. Get some sleep, you’re the one who needs it. I said I’ll let you think about it, didn’t I? Stop stressing so much.” His index finger taps your cheek playfully, so familiar yet so foreign at the same time. The wink that he tacks on makes you roll your eyes. You watch Yoongi make his way to the elevator, step in and press the button for the ground floor. He maintains eye contact with you as he waits for the doors to shut, and you don’t think you’ve really noticed before how Yoongi carries himself with such confidence and poise even when he’s off-camera. That’s just the kind of person he is and it’s… kind of attractive.

You can’t even fish around in your bag for your keys, you just stand there because he keeps your gaze trained on him. His eyes are alluring even under the shitty lighting of your building’s elevator. Before the lift closes, his voice carries over from the metal box to your door, and you don’t know if it’s the echo of his low timbre in the empty hallway that makes you shiver, or if it’s just Yoongi.

“I’ve waited this long, what’s a little more time?”

One week. This is a record for you and Taehyung.

You’re still baffled by his attitude that night, and no one has cleared anything up for you. He was right, but that doesn’t mean you were wrong. You stand by your initial reaction. Could anyone really blame you for that? In your defense, who the fuck could believe that a worldclass megastar has romantic feelings for them? Not to mention that the person whom the megastar in question has feelings for is you! You, the pathetic girl who can’t seem to get over her ex. Yoongi had to sit through a whole hour of you drunkenly crying over Jungkook, for fuck’s sake!

That really wasn’t your best moment, but it’s not like you even remember it anyway.

Your phone buzzes to life with Jimin’s face taking over the whole screen – a photo of your hand squishing his full cheeks until his lips jut out. “Hey Minnie,” you greet him once you’ve swiped to accept the call.

“Y/N,” he says, sounding out of breath. “Where are you?”

“I’m at home. Where are you? Are you doing pull-ups again? You know you practically hyperventilate when you do more than 3.”

“Shut up, I’m at dance practice. But listen, have you talked to Tae yet?”

You purse your lips at the mention of his name. “No. We’re supposed to go grocery shopping tomorrow like we always do, but I guess that won’t be happening.”

Jimin hums, like he’s in thought. He doesn’t speak again until his breathing has calmed. “Well, can you go to his place right now?”

“Why?”

“He’s sick and I’m kind of worried about him. He hasn’t answered my messages.”

You frown. “Tae’s sick?”

“Yeah, he must’ve caught a cold the other day. Could you go over there and check on him? I would go but I can’t leave for another few hours.”

You agree to go, because of course you would. Even if you’re stubborn and hot-headed, no amount of pettiness could make you ignore your friends especially when they’re unwell and need somebody. Especially when it’s Taehyung who’s been there for you so many times.

You stay on the call with Jimin for another ten whole minutes even after you have said you would go, because he keeps droning on and on about how shitty Taehyung looked yesterday.

Before you go to your best friend’s apartment, you stop by your regular diner to pick up some comfort food for him, and the pharmacy for some medicine. During the rest of the drive there, you start getting a little worried. When Taehyung takes care of a sick you or Jimin, he practically goes into full mama bear mode, making sure that you’re as comfortable as humanly possible and not leaving your side until you’re a functional human being again. But when it comes to his own wellbeing, Taehyung doesn’t seem to be that concerned. It’s not that he neglects his health, but you wish that he would show himself the same kindness that he shows you.

It feels weird to use the spare key that you have to his place, considering that you aren’t really on speaking terms. In hindsight, it feels so childish. How old are you to still be pulling the silent treatment on each other? 

You ring the doorbell and wait a couple minutes until you hear Taehyung shuffling to get the door from the other side. When it swings open, he tenses up a bit, not expecting to see you at all. His hair is damp; he must’ve just gotten out of the shower. Taehyung doesn’t look as bad as Jimin described though. Just some dark circles under his eyes.

You raise a hand and wave. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he parrots somewhat awkwardly. It’s understandable; neither of you thought you’d be the one to break the ice. “What are you doing here?”

Bringing your other hand up, you show him the bag you’re holding. “Brought you soup and cold meds. Jimin said you’re sick.”

His brows knit together in confusion. “Thanks…” he says slowly, “but I’m not sick?”

“But Jimin said you caught a cold and you’ve been wheezing like a dying fisherman and–” You purse your lips, catching onto what’s really happening here. “He tricked me, didn’t he?”

Park Jimin…

Taehyung tuts under his breath, shaking his head at the ground. “Mhmm.”

“He could go into acting. He sounded really worried on the phone, like you were on the verge of death.”

“No, yeah, he really could,” Taehyung agrees. “Jimin is bizarrely good at lying sometimes. We should be worried about that.”

You laugh, and that makes him feel like the air is relaxed enough for him to laugh too. It only lasts a few seconds before you’re left staring at each other again. You hate it. You really, really hate it.

You thought that the universe sent you a sign, gave you a reason to come over and make nice with your best friend. Turns out that “the universe” is really just Park Jimin and his scheming tongue. But you’re already here, and you have to talk to him eventually. Jimin might have lied, but you would’ve just waited for Taehyung to reach out first to offer an olive branch anyway.

“Well, can I come in?” you ask. It’s weird that you even have to ask.

“Of course,” he says absentmindedly, stepping to one side to let you in. He takes the bag from your hand and brings it to the kitchen while you kick off your shoes and change into the pair of fuzzy bear slippers that he keeps for you here.

You want to tell him what happened as much as you hate admitting that you were wrong.

“Have you eaten?” you ask, a sad attempt at delaying what will inevitably come.

“No,” comes his simple reply.

“Should we eat? I bought enough for two people.”

“But I’m not sick.”

“You don’t have to be sick to eat chicken noodle soup.”

Taehyung looks at you like the thought has genuinely never crossed his mind. “Interesting… Okay, then.”

You put on an episode of your favorite show while he heats up the food. When you both sit down to eat, it’s mostly silent while the TV continues to play. The most you and Taehyung thing that you exchange in these 30 minutes is him saying soup tastes like shit when you’re not actually sick, and you telling him to stop being such a hater. When you both finish, Taehyung rinses the bowls and puts them in his dishwasher. 

Before you came over, you thought you would only be making him eat, take his meds, and sit there for a bit while he sleeps. If you had known this would happen, you would’ve prepared yourself for it.

But then again, you were tricked into coming.

Ugh. Just do it. You are so freaking dramatic.

“Well,” you start, keeping your voice light and trying not to stand around like you’re out of place in his apartment, “you were right.”

“About what?” Taehyung asks, wiping his hands on a towel. 

“About Yoongi and… all that.”

“Oh.” His expression is one you aren’t too familiar with. There’s surprise – yes, that you’re making peace with him – in the way his brows slightly lift, but there’s something else too. Something odd that you can’t quite put a finger on, and it makes you slightly uneasy because you don’t like it when you can’t read Taehyung. 

He’s pretty quick to mask it, and it makes you even more conscious that there’s something he isn’t telling you. Of course, this feeling is miniscule, practically a seed compared to the blooming garden of nerves that the events of these past few days have dumped upon you, so you can’t categorize it as a high-level priority to nitpick. You need to deal with your main concerns first, aka what to do about Yoongi and Jungkook, both individually and together, and then you can begin to inspect what’s going on with Taehyung.

It all sounds so easy in theory.

Taehyung goes to the couch and you wordlessly follow. You sit down when he pats the spot next to him – your spot. “How did you come to that conclusion?” he asks. “You know I don’t get to hear you tell me I’m right very often.”

Because you aren’t right very often, is what you almost say. It’s light and playful, and you both know it would diffuse the leftover tension, but you chuck the words aside in favor of something more serious. There isn’t that much to catch him up on, but there is a lot to unpack from the few things that did transpire over the last few days.

You give him a recap of what happened with Yoongi and subsequently what happened with Jungkook. Those are the two things weighing the most on your mind. You haven’t really processed anything; blame it on Yoongi for telling you that you have time to think things through.

One thing you love about Taehyung is that he doesn’t tell you what to do, but rather helps you sort things out on your own. Come to think of it, these conversations often take place on his couch. He’s like your own personal therapist at this point.

“Can you give me a hug?” You probably can’t ask a licensed therapist to do this, though.

He softens even more with a smile. Opening his arms, he says, “C’mere.”

You shuffle over to sink into his embrace. You sigh as you practically melt in his hold. Taehyung is a little bony, but hugging him feels exactly like hugging a giant teddy bear. He’s soft, and always knows how to hold you just tight enough, how to stroke your hair the way you like, how to be just the comforting presence you need amidst a whirlwind of anxious thoughts. And he smells like jasmine, though that might be because you keep deliberately gifting him colognes with scents that you like.

With your chin perched on his shoulder, you feel yourself start to relax, walls coming down if only briefly.

“You okay?” Taehyung asks after a moment.

You’re suddenly aware that you’re crying. You don’t know how it started, but now that the waterworks have begun, it seems like there’s no stopping. “No,” you sniffle. “Can I just…”

You feel him exhale. “Of course.”

Taehyung is one of the few people – oh who are you kidding? He might be the only one – whom you feel comfortable enough around to let yourself cry to your heart’s content. 

You’ve been feeling it for days now, even before all that shit happened. Every cell in your body is constantly vibrating, with anxiety, with guilt, with a heaviness that sinks into your bones. You’re shaking even when your hands are perfectly still. People, memories, thoughts you keep only to yourself – they all phase through you, not giving you a single moment to catch your breath.

When it rains, it pours.

Everything is weighing you down like someone has tied you to an anchor and pushed you into the unrelenting, unforgiving water. Grief is an ocean and you don’t know how to swim. Your job, your friends, the unbridled mess that you call a love life… Everything is changing and you’re the same. You’re different, but somehow still the same. Deep down, you’re still that scared little girl who doesn’t know what to make of the world. Your knees are bleeding but your mother is telling you not to cry. Why can’t you cry when you’re hurting? Every minute feels like a lifetime but every day feels like it’s going by in two seconds. Things are moving so fast. Things are moving too slow. You can’t remember the last time you actually cried. Really cried. Bawled. Sobbed. Let out all the dirt until you can see your roots again. Until you originate back to being a blank canvas. Sometimes it feels like that’s the only way that can help you see things more clearly. Your vision might blur for a while but afterward, it’ll have washed everything away. At least a little bit. So you can get your footing again.

You miss clarity, or the illusion that you have any control over your life. You miss looking out the window and have something to look forward to, even on overcast days where the sun can’t be bothered to bring you light. You miss hearing your heart beat a melody that doesn’t ache, doesn’t rattle you to the core. Pieces of you have been held together by nothing but tape and glue for the longest time. Eventually, they’ll deteriorate, and you’ll go back to being skin and bones always on the verge of falling apart.

Some of your best writing was never meant for anybody to hear. The best lines that you’ve scribbled down are diary entries disguised as music, as poetry. They’re results of your lowest and weakest moments, it just happens that there was a journal lying around and you thought that if you had to keep all that sadness inside for a second longer, you would burst. Those immortalized lines represent your heartbreak, your self-hatred, your sorrow and your grief. They come from a lifetime of unshed tears, from the burden of having a heart that feels too much but is always silenced. Words are your escape when time rushes through you like a child skipping stones. Everything hurts all the time but no one knows and you don’t bother explaining to anyone how you wish you could be a different person living a different life because it seems like the universe has made a mistake with this one. How it feels like a divine power has miscalculated and misread your false stoicism as resilience. Just because a person carries it well doesn’t mean they have to carry it at all. 

Sometimes you like to muse that if anyone could catch a glimpse of what it’s like inside, they’d think, Wow. How are you holding all of that weight? How are you so silent through it all? How do you live with an ache so allconsuming that I can hardly see you underneath it?

It’s the only way you know how to express yourself. But even then, when you’re screaming and burning, you’re still quiet. Those words are your heart on paper, raw and bleeding all over the place, covered in a million cracks that no one can see or even pay enough attention to notice. They’re there whether anybody likes it or not. They’re right there, red ink staining white pages, begging in a voice small like a child asking for love. Please see me. I’m here. Nobody taught me how to swim. Please see me.

But nobody does. They walk past you every day. They sit with you, smile at you and laugh with you. They leave you. They stay. They break your heart. Even when they love you, nobody sees you.

You love Taehyung, but you don’t think he understands. He knows you better than almost everyone in this world and he tries to help you in any way he can, but at the end of the day, maybe this isn’t something that a person can understand even if they want to. It’s worse, to realize that perhaps it isn’t because people don’t care enough to see it, but that no matter how hard they try, they can’t.

The only person who has ever come the closest is Jungkook, with his big doe eyes that always see through you and see into you. Sometimes, you think there might be parts of you that he could see but you still don’t. He knew things about yourself that you never want anybody to find out, and he loved you anyway. He went the lengths that nobody ever did because they all gave up after a while. Someone once told you that you felt like a fortress wall impossible to climb, that nobody had the time, the patience to wait for you. In other words, you weren’t worth it. Not worthless, just not worth the effort it would take to break down your walls.

But Jungkook showed up and tried, every day. The one person that you never saw coming. You might have resisted at first, but then you became his biggest supporter. You were rooting for him to know you, how fucked up is that? You were right there. He was so close.

And then he stopped.

You suppose that’s what makes everything awful now – to know that you should let go of him when he’s the only person who ever came that close.

You don’t know how long Taehyung has had to sit here, comforting you like this, but at one point, your stomach starts growling and you feel your best friend trying to hold back a giggle. Jungkook might have mastered the art of loving you, but Taehyung is an expert at comforting you.

“Shut up.” You wipe away the dampness on your cheeks with the back of your hand and push Taehyung off. “Crying makes me hungry.”

“Should I order us fried chicken then?”

“And soju. Get some soju too.”

Jimin is a strategic trickster. There was no dance practice. He just ran around his apartment ten times until his breathing turned ragged, which if you ask anyone, was completely unnecessary. He’s very extra, but at least it was effective.

After he got off the phone with you, Jimin immediately went to your shared phone tracker app – today was one of those times where it proves to be the most useful. He stared at the little circle with a silly photo of you as it moved from your address to Taehyung’s with a couple pit stops along the way. Jimin giggled to himself when he saw your circle meet Taehyung’s, because at that point you two must have realized already that you’d been swindled. Of course, there was always a chance of you leaving the moment you figured out you had come all that way for no reason at all, but when Jimin saw after a couple of hours that the two circles are still next to each other, he knew that you and Taehyung made up already.

Jimin sends a message to your group chat, a simple hello but Taehyung knows what he’s trying to get at. The text thread shared by the three of you lights up with a selfie of you and Taehyung each holding a chicken drumstick and wearing a content smile. In the background, there are some soju bottles, a box of chicken and some fries.

Jimin doesn’t question why your eyes look a little puffier than usual. He just replies with a smiley emoji and a thumbs up. The triumph of his mini victory almost makes him forget that there’s someone else in his home.

Jungkook peeks over Jimin’s shoulder to peek at his phone, curious to see what’s making his friend so delighted. When he sees you and Taehyung on Jimin’s screen, he sinks again, heart sitting in the pit of his stomach. The words you told him just the day before ring loud in his ears, as if they haven’t been stuck on his mind, playing on a loop. 

You’re such a fucking hypocrite.

You weren’t wrong, but man, did that feel like a punch in the gut.

He goes to sit across from Jimin, taking note of every single sound that notifies his friend of a new message. For the first time, he feels like an outsider, like he’s intruding on a private moment.

“I fucked up,” Jungkook admits quietly, cracking open a can of beer and taking a long sip. It makes Jimin look up and put away his phone. “With Y/N,” Jungkook clarifies.

“Yeah, I’ve been informed. That was the stupidest thing you’ve done in a while.”

“In a while? When was the last time I did something stupid?”

Jimin doesn’t even have to think about it. He answers right away, “When you left her.”

Jungkook hums, unclear whether the noise is meant in agreement or just in acknowledgment. His tongue darts out to swipe across his dry lips before he breathes out. “I don’t know what to do. She hasn’t replied to any of my texts. I feel like a fucking asshole.”

“From what I’ve been told, you were a fucking asshole,” Jimin says lightly, his words emphasized with a chuckle like he finds Jungkook’s predicament so funny. “I can’t believe you would say that shit about Yoongi to her right after he confessed.”

Cue a pregnant pause, and a pair of doe eyes staring right into Jimin’s skull, unable to decipher if what he’s hearing is a joke or not.

“Yoongi– what?”

Jimin slaps himself internally. Shit. It slipped, he swears. “Nothing,” he sighs, but he knows it wouldn’t be dropped so easily.

“No. Not nothing,” Jungkook sits up straight and puts his chilled beer down on the table, missing the coaster entirely just to piss off his friend. “The fuck do you mean Yoongi confessed? Confessed what?”

Jimin sighs with pursed lips. “What else? What do you think he confessed to?”

Jungkook gulps, and blinks a few times. When? Why? Was that the reason you looked so distraught yesterday before all that shit went down between you and him? Who confesses to someone in a freaking break room?

Then Jungkook remembers that you and Yoongi went out for drinks last night. What did he say? What did you say? His stomach churns at the thought of something… happening between the two of you.

Jimin takes in his friend’s dumbfounded expression. “Why are you shocked?” he asks. “I thought you expected something like this. Isn’t it why you spewed all that crap about Yoongi flirting with her?”

“Fuck, I don’t know! It feels like the guy is out to get me for some goddamn reason. I thought he was just playing with Y/N to piss me off!”

Jimin shakes his head, looking thoughtful. “Yoongi wouldn’t do that to her.”

“How would you know?”

“Because when they first worked together, from the things that she told us, the stuff that Yoongi would do for her, Taehyung and I thought he liked her back then too,” Jimin says. “This has nothing to do with you.”

It sucks. It fucking sucks.

“Should I go over there?” Jungkook asks, a newfound sense of urgency in his voice that borderlines panic. He’s acting like this fact that Jimin just dumped upon him is unraveling just as this conversation is taking place, but in reality, he’s one of the last people to know. 

“And tell her what? If you’ve said sorry a million times and she hasn’t responded, then saying it one more time won’t change anything.”

“What am I supposed to do when I see her tomorrow?”

“Nothing? Are you incapable of leaving things alone? If she wants to ignore you, let her ignore you. If she wants to yell at you, let her yell at you. If she wants nothing to do with you, let her do that too. Why do you keep making things worse for yourself?”

Jungkook runs a frustrated hand through his hair. “So your solution is for me to just let her hate me?”

Jimin levels him with a look, which just annoys him even more. “You had no problem with that before.”

“If you’re not gonna help me, should I ask Taehyung then?”

“Don’t go to Tae about this.”

“Why not?”

“Just don’t,” Jimin snaps, and it makes Jungkook falter for a few seconds before the petulance in him clouds his better judgment.

“Why? He’s her best friend. They’re practically joined at the hip. He’s gotta be able to help me with this.”

“You really want to go to Taehyung for advice on how to suck up to your ex-girlfriend? He’s the most protective of her. What makes you think he would be willing to help you?”

“He’s my friend too, isn’t he? Shouldn’t he want to help all of us be civil with each other?”

“Yeah, he’s your friend. I’m your friend and Y/N’s too. And you’re right, all of us should get along, but we shouldn’t be put in a situation where we’d have to try. You did that to us and nothing is going to be the same again. I don’t even know why you did it. You kept your mouth shut for years no matter how hard me and Taehyung tried to get it out of you. Now you suddenly can’t make peace with the consequences of your actions? Now you want us to help you win over the person you fucked over, who is also our closest friend? I don’t get you, JK. I’m starting to regret not letting Taehyung punch you back then.”

Jungkook stares at his friend. Is this shock that he’s feeling? He still remembers that night, because he doesn’t forget a lot of things. He can’t forget it. He had never seen Taehyung – who is usually so calm and cordial – get that angry before. His friend, who is a saint of a man, felt so much rage toward Jungkook that Jimin had to physically hold him back.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” Jimin asks. “You’re not used to me not being on your side all the time?”

He knows that. The only person who seems to be on Jungkook’s side is himself, and sometimes he isn’t sure if this is even true at all. What you told him at the dance studio’s opening party, what Jimin is telling him now, and even the things that Taehyung shouted at him a couple of years back – it’s all true. He knows these things already, but it feels different to hear them from other people. You’re all right; nobody is overreacting. To an outsider, it might come across as harsh, but to anyone who knows anything, it’s rightfully deserved.

Nevertheless, Jungkook admits quietly, “Actually, yeah.”

Jimin sighs, because he knows that his friend has no malicious intent toward you or toward anyone. Jimin knows that Jungkook doesn’t mean to hurt you, any more than he already has. Jungkook is even more crazed now that Yoongi is somehow a factor in all of this. It’s the insecurities bubbling at the surface. He’s panicking and he can’t even see straight. This is just his own stupid take on fight or flight. It was flight for a while, and now apparently it’s not. Jimin doesn’t really understand it, but he gets that this is his friend’s way of dealing with shit. “I tried, man. I did. But it’s really, really hard to have your back on this.”

Jungkook is well aware of it too – that to leave you alone is probably the best thing he can do at this point. Everything he says or does seems to backfire; instead of pulling you closer, all he manages to do is push you further away and make you hate him more than you already do. 

But in a way, isn’t that a good thing? Better to have you hate him than be indifferent toward him. After all, there’s a thin line between love and hate. You yourself blurred this line long ago. You can do it again, can’t you?

Jungkook sits there for a while longer to finish his beer, even though he doesn’t have anything else to say. It’s clear what Jimin’s stance on this is, and no matter what he says, it’s unlikely that anyone will help him try and get back in your good graces. 

Before he leaves, Jimin says something that makes him nauseous. Makes him want to fucking cry and kick something and speed over to your apartment just so you could reassure Jungkook that he’s still the one you hate the most. That all of your feelings, whether they’re good or bad, are still reserved for him and only him.

It isn’t what his best friend should tell him, but it’s what a good friend would say. It's not about Jungkook, it's not about Jimin or Taehyung or anyone else. It's about you, who has been hurt the most here.

“If she wants to choose Yoongi, let her do that too.”

[10:48] Yoongi: Attachment: 2 Images.

[10:49] Yoongi: got yelled at for showing up puffy yesterday

You tap on the notifications and the photos pop up within seconds. It’s Yoongi at his Valentino shoot probably. He never used to send you stuff like this, nor asked you to come watch him at his photoshoots. Why would he? 

You zoom in on his face to inspect if he really was puffy, but you can’t really tell. Maybe if you were a makeup artist with a sharper eye, you would see it. But under your regular-person gaze, everything seemed fine. Yoongi looked handsome in the pictures.

[10:55] You: you don’t look puffy to me

[10:57] Yoongi: so how do i look to you? ;)

[10:58] You: the fits look good

[11:01] Yoongi: i wasn’t asking about the fits

[11:05] You: and i’m telling you the fits look good anyway

[11:07] Yoongi: what about the model?

[11:10] You: are you fishing for compliments?

[11:11] Yoongi: what if i am?

[11:14] You: the model looks Not Puffy

[11:16] Yoongi: you’re no fun ;(

You consider your next reply for a moment. It doesn’t seem like that big a deal. You want to send it. It seems innocent enough, and it’s the truth. A simple praise can’t hurt, right?

Your fingertips tingle just typing the words out. You’re suddenly so jittery for some reason as your thumb hovers over the arrow symbol that would whoosh away your message. It's a good kind of jittery. You might even say that you’re excited.

[11:22] You: the model looks good too

You put your phone face-down on the table, not even checking when it vibrates with Yoongi’s response to your latest text. It’s so weird that you’re feeling like this, maybe because it’s been so long since someone has shown an actual interest in you? Or is it because it’s Yoongi? If it were anyone else, would you still react the same?

It’s weird, but not necessarily weird in a bad way. You just aren’t used to it, or it’s been such a long time that you forgot what it feels like to be… wanted? You don’t think about it often but it’s true, you’ve missed the thrill of being chased.

“So… word on the street is you have a secret song.”

Seokjin’s voice makes you glance up, wondering who he could be talking to when the only people in the room beside him are you and Jungkook – whom you haven’t spoken a word to all morning despite him glancing not-so-subtly at you every two seconds. When you got here this morning, there was already a chai latte on the table with your name on it. The order was too specific for it to be Seokjin, but you didn’t say anything.

“The street?” you ponder for a moment, knowing exactly who the culprit is. “Is that what Yoongi calls himself these days? He’s been here for what? A couple weeks? And he’s already blabbed to you.”

“So it’s true?” Seokjin leans back in his chair, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Yoongi said it’s real good. Top shelf kinda stuff. And you know he never says things like that.”

It’s not a song, or at least that isn’t what you would call it. Maybe more like an essay composed of sentences that go together like misfit puzzle pieces. You don’t think you would ever rework it and pitch it to anyone because it’s yours and it’s personal. You would never tell anyone about it, and Yoongi wouldn’t have come to know about its existence if he hadn’t stumbled across it in your journal by accident.

“Don’t listen to Yoongi,” you say. “At this point, I feel like you should know that Yoongi tends to exaggerate sometimes.”

“He never seems to be exaggerating when it comes to you,” Seokjin muses. You almost blush, thinking about what else Yoongi could’ve told Seokjin. He doesn’t notice the split second in which your cheeks redden just the slightest, or he doesn’t mind it enough to comment. “What’s the title?”

You shrug, saying nothing.

“You can’t even tell me the title? Damn, Y/N. Are you the CIA?”

“I’m not telling you because there is no title. There’s not even a song, just something I go back to sometimes. It’s mostly just word vomit. I promise you, it’s nothing.”

“Tell that to Yoongi. He told me whoever’s gonna get that song is one hell of a lucky bastard.”

Again, what is it with the praise? You know working with Yoongi and being associated with his last album gave your career a boost, but you weren’t aware that he was talking about you with other people. Maybe he only does it with Seokjin because they’re close, but still, it makes you itch with curiosity.

“By any chance are you gonna give it to… me?” Seokjin asks, and seems to immediately hear how flawed it sounds. You stare at him blankly, trying to bite back an amused smile, and even Jungkook turns his head to look too. Seokjin’s ears turn red in an instant. “Okay, that came out kinda wrong. I’m really, really sorry. But you know what I mean.”

You continue to stare at him until his face is so flushed, you swear he’s like a tomato that’s about to burst. You can see why Yoongi likes to tease people this way. “Okay, boss,” you acquiesce with a laugh, relieving Seokjin of the fear that he genuinely offended you. “If the song ever gets to see the light of day, I’ll make sure to ask you to lend your voice.”

“Ah, so you admit it’s a song.” He grins brightly at your empty promise, making you roll your eyes half-heartedly. He goes back to his normal shade in a minute, no longer ridiculously red like a cartoon character. “What’s it about?”

You ponder his question silently, missing the way Jungkook takes this moment to glance at you. When you look up again, he’s already averting his gaze.

What is it about? That’s a question that you yourself have never really considered. It’s about everything and it’s about nothing. It’s love, it’s loss, it’s the infinite in-between. You give Seokjin an answer that won’t satisfy him, but it’s the truth.

“I haven’t figured it out yet. I’ll let you know when I do.”

He tuts at you, like he was expecting the obscurity from you anyway. “You’re really not beating the CIA allegations,” he says.

You flip him the bird, which only compels him to stick out his tongue and make a face at you. Then, he diverts his attention to the person who hasn’t contributed anything this whole time.

“JK, why are you so quiet today? We’re not gonna eat you.”

Jungkook mutters something to Seokjin that you don’t quite catch because the words come out of his mouth like an inarticulate mess, which is so unlike him. He sounds jumpy, like he’s too nervous to speak in front of you. Seokjin’s eyes land on you again as he mouths a confused What?

You just shrug, and Seokjin has to take Jungkook’s weird response as him having an off day. The man checks his phone, lets out a quiet whine, then addresses the both of you. “I have a shoot this afternoon so you two will have to hold down the fort, by the way.”

You come back from your solo lunch date to an empty studio.

Well, almost empty. There’s something new that wasn’t there before.

Another chai latte waiting for you equates to another apology hoping to be acknowledged. The paper cup is still hot when your hand reaches out to touch it. You sink into your chair with a sigh. You could laugh at yourself for feeling so nostalgic at the sight of a beverage in the middle of a workday.

Jungkook walks in about 15 minutes later, and the air turns suffocating at his arrival. He feels it too, you know he does. 

You chew on your bottom lip until it starts to hurt, bite down on it until it almost bleeds.

“Jungkook,” you say, catching his attention. It looks like he didn’t expect you to initiate any conversation. It’s not like you want to, but you have to. You keep having to do this, because he just wouldn’t listen. “Stop buying me drinks.”

It translates to: Stop saying sorry. Stop trying to make things right. Stop doing things you think would make me happy. Stop making me have the same argument with you over and over again.

“Because you wouldn’t hear me out,” he says, and proceeds to repeat the one thing that you’re sick of hearing from him. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing,” you verbalize it. “If it’s not about work, I don’t think it’s necessary for me to hear it, Jungkook. I don’t want to hear it.”

“You do need to hear it. Because I can’t function properly until you know how sorry I am.”

“Well, that sounds like a you problem.”

“Y/N.”

“What?”

“Hear me out,” he says, sounding a little firmer now but you still catch the crack in his voice. “Please.”

Jungkook must take the way you hesitate to shut down him as reluctant permission for him to keep going, because he stands up and moves to a spot closer to you. Not close enough that he could reach out and touch you, but enough for you to see the tiny mole under his bottom lip and how it quivers when he looks at you.

Fuck. You’re letting him win again.

“Okay, fine. Talk then. I’m listening. You’re sorry, right? You keep saying you’re sorry for everything, but what exactly is everything? What are you even sorry about? Are you sorry about annoying me right now, or are you sorry about being a prick the other day, or are you sorry about leaving me five years ago? When did you become this pathetic, Jungkook?”

“W–what?”

“When did you become so pathetic?” you repeat. “If you had to come back, couldn’t you come back as someone better? Someone who’s sure of himself and has a good life, not this… person who has to grovel at my feet for forgiveness. Even when you were at your lowest, you weren’t like this. I don’t even know who this Jungkook is. What happened to you?”

If you think that you saw him at his lowest, then you’re wrong. He didn’t hit rock bottom until he’d left you and had to live with what he chose to do. 

“You’re right. I am pathetic,” Jungkook agrees, dropping his gaze to the floor like he’s ashamed. “But fuck, I’m trying to be worthy of you.”

It’s a truth that he doesn’t want to face, doesn’t want to admit how very real it is until you’ve just said it and it fucking guts him. He knows his friends pity him sometimes, even if they don’t want to view him as someone to be pitied. No matter how much of a front he puts up, he knows that Jimin and Taehyung see right through him. They won’t say it to his face, and for that Jungkook has gotten away with avoiding this fact for so long. But to hear it from you, to watch you spell it out for him, it hurts.

He wants to mention Yoongi, but he doesn’t know how to phrase it in a way that wouldn’t immediately aggravate you. After all, bringing up Yoongi is what got him into this mess, isn’t it?

Regardless, he wants to ask you a question that he already knows the answer to. What does Yoongi have that he doesn’t? The answer is: A lot of things. Yoongi has a lot of things that Jungkook doesn’t, one of them being the self-assurance to not run away when it comes to you and what you deserve.

He wants to ask, but he doesn’t, because he’s scared it might drive you right into Yoongi’s arms and Jungkook can’t compete with a man like that.

He can barely keep up even with just himself in the running.

There’s a big question mark that pops up in your head, along with a slight sting in your eyes that you blink away. You’ve never seen Jungkook like this before. This whole time, was it not only you who was miserable?

He looks so small that it breaks your heart. For once, you aren’t sad for yourself but you’re sad for him. It never occurred to you that he could’ve been lonely too, having to keep all of this inside because you know he didn’t share it with anyone else. You catch a glimpse of him again, like you did when you were making ramen together in your kitchen while a storm was raging outside. In a lot of ways, Jungkook is still that kid stuck in an adult’s body, lost and scared and loved you. It feels like you could’ve seen him in the same ocean while you were just trying to keep your head above water.

The sight of him, so vulnerable and astray, placates you. Your resolve crumbles, but not like it was ever that strong to begin with. You suppose you could see why he was being a jerk to you. Even though it doesn’t justify what he said, you understand just a little bit where he was coming from. You find yourself forgiving him for some of it. It’s part of letting things go, right?

But no matter how much you want to reach out and comfort him, you know you shouldn’t. What are you supposed to do in a situation like this? You’re confused and it feels like you two have been going around in a circle, looking for a solution that doesn’t seem to exist.

Coexisting doesn’t work. Telling him to leave things alone doesn’t work. What else can you do?

Why do you have to resolve a problem that isn’t even yours? Jungkook says he’s trying, but his efforts keep making your life harder and harder. You practically blew up in his face, then apologized for being harsh even though you were fully aware that you had nothing to be sorry for. You called him a hypocrite and now you’re ready to cave just because he’s on the verge of shedding a few tears. This constant back and forth between your anger and your reluctance to see that anger through is possibly the thing that’s hindering you.

You can’t – and shouldn’t – accommodate him anymore. You have to put your foot down, no matter how difficult it is with the lingering ghost of your past love.

Because you’re always weak when it comes to Jungkook.

Because you’re still holding onto something.

Because Jungkook will always be the first person that you have ever loved, and those four years meant a lot to you even if they didn’t to him. Maybe it’s even fair to say that you might never truly get over it, and that doesn’t have to be such a terrible thing. Maybe he was never the person you thought he was, or maybe you never meant as much to him as he did to you. Somehow, that’s okay. It’s manageable because it’s routine at this point. You’ve internalized it. The years have taught you that sometimes, things get shitty just because they can and you just have to deal with it.

The intrinsic pain of the human experience. C’est la vie.

What a world this is.

Is it bad that you’re thinking about Yoongi in a moment like this?

Yoongi could be your future, if you’d let him.

You should let him. Maybe this is your answer right here. 

“Jungkook, let’s stop.” He looks at you with crestfallen eyes, but you have to keep going. The only way out is through. “Let’s stop. You want me to listen to you, but you haven’t been listening to me. I don’t have the strength to keep this up anymore, and I have told you that repeatedly but you wouldn’t listen. Jungkook, move on.”

You pretend not to notice how his lip trembles even more. “What if I don’t want to move on?”

This feels like a conversation that should’ve happened ages ago. Five years ago, you should’ve screamed at him, cried with him, held each other as you both fell apart. He stripped you of that right and gave you no say at all.

“You’re being awfully selfish,” you tell him, but in your head, you’re already thinking about what his words actually mean. 

“Have you completely written me off then? Is there nothing at all that I can do? Because I would do anything if you asked. You know that.”

Your throat is so dry that it feels like you’re swallowing sand. You dig everything back up again until you find the memory of that day hidden at the very bottom.

It’s terrible. He’s making you relive it again.

“I remember calling for you and you didn’t even look back,” you say, but your voice breaks toward the end. “I can’t trust you anymore.”

Jungkook just stares at you then, and for the longest time, neither of you say anything. This is the first time that you two have addressed the problem, properly addressed it instead of half-heartedly sweeping it under the rug like you tried to do. 

You breathe in, he breathes out. You hate the way you feel, and you resent the way he looks like he’s breaking down just as badly. There are tears in those eyes, tears that Jungkook doesn’t let spill because he defiantly wipes them away with the back of his hand after a moment. 

When he speaks next, you want the world to end.

“Then I’ll earn your trust back. I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I will.”

— all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted january 21, 2023]

#jungkook x reader #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #jungkook x you #jungkook fanfic #jungkook imagines #bts x reader #bts x you #bts fluff #bts angst #bts smut #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bangtanbathhouse #btscarnivalnet #btshoneyhive #clubzerooclock #52hertz #fic: our beloved summer

[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

I never wanted this, but maybe it's not such a bad thing part 2 (Preath x Reader)

Part 1

Hope you enjoy :)

Words: 3.2k

Ash had been waiting for me when the elevator finally opened. I had fallen into her arms, not moving for a good 5 minutes as I calmed down. Christen and Tobin were already gone when I pulled myself away from Ash. I hung out with Ash and the kids for an hour or so, trying to forget about the elevator. My mind kept going back to Christen and Tobin. Despite everything that had happened so far, they had helped me through the elevator without a second thought. I had meant what I said about getting to know them before making any decisions. I was quick to dismiss them at first, but they were right, I didn't even give them a chance. From what I had seen they were amazing, people that I could actually see myself having real feelings for if I gave it a chance. It was a terrifying thought, but something I found myself wanting to do regardless. 

I decided the first step was to thank them so I made my way to their room, knocked and waited anxiously until Christen answered the door. "Hey Y/n, everything okay?"

"Um I just wanted to thank you guys, for distracting me in the elevator. I know we haven't had the best start and that's my fault, but I appreciate you guys helping me regardless. It's been months since I've had a panic attack and I'm really glad it didn't get that far. So thank you."

"Any time Y/n, do you want to come in? We're thinking about watching a movie."

I followed Christen into the room, standing awkwardly when I realised there was only one bed and nothing else to sit on. After a few seconds, I sat down on the floor, legs crossed. They offered for me to sit on the bed, but right now it was more comfortable to have a bit of space between us. We made small talk while they tried to find a movie. It was a bit awkward at first, but as time went on, I started to relax and actually enjoy talking with them. 

Tobin cleared her throat a little while later, "In the elevator, you said that you don't do well in confined spaces anymore, what happened? You don't have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable."

This was something I had hoped they wouldn't bring up. When I had said, I had hoped they wouldn't notice that I had indicated something happened. It wasn't something I really liked talking about as it brought back memories that were preferred buried. Although, I didn't feel as uncomfortable with the thought of telling them as I expected to. After a few seconds of internal debate, I decided to just answer. Might as well start the process of getting to know them now. 

"I was a marine. We were out on a routine mission, the guys got out to do a sweep while I stayed in the truck. We uh we were ambushed. The truck was flipped, I ended up trapped by myself for a long time until rescue came. My guys were injured, they weren't able to help. I got over the fear of being in a car pretty quickly, but the fear of being trapped never went away. My military career ended then as well."

"I'm sorry Y/n, I can't imagine how hard that must have been."

"It was, but I'm mostly okay now. I struggled a lot after that, PTSD, nightmares, drinking, but Ali and Ash really helped me get through it. I don't think I would have made it without them."

---

It became an almost nightly routine from then. I would sit on the floor of their room while we talked and properly got to know each other. Sometimes we would watch a movie or play a board game, most of the time we would just talk. It wasn't necessarily deep conversation, occasionally it was. Most of the time it was just getting to know each other, talking about our lives, interests, hobbies, that sort of thing. 

I admit it was nice, just talking to them. My feelings were starting to grow the more time I spent with them. I started getting excited at the thought of seeing them, butterflies would erupt when I saw them, heard their voice or they touched me. When they touched me, it felt like I was on fire, yet at the same time I felt calm, comfortable, more relaxed than I had in a long time. I was starting to want more, to really try being with them. The idea still scared me, though I was starting to think maybe that wasn't such a bad thing, that it was something I could work through with them. 

Instead of rushing into it, I decided to give it a bit more time so I could be sure, so I didn't change my mind later and break their hearts again. Though I did decide on doing something nice for them. A date of sorts without calling it a date. 

"Do you want to get dinner with me? Well a picnic, it's a beautiful night. I was going to go to the beach by myself, but I was hoping maybe you would join me?"

Christen smiled widely, "I would like that."

Tobin took a second, but smiled, "I would too."

I hadn't originally planned for a picnic, therefore I had nothing prepared. They were going to meet me in the lobby in half an hour. I knew that the team dinner would be getting set up so I decided to try my luck. The chef let me pack some stuff I knew they liked into containers. Then I practically ran to the store down the road to pick up some wine and fruit for dessert. I tried not to let the nerves rise too high. We got along and it was just dinner so there was nothing to worry about. That fact that dinner wasn't anything special added to the nerves. What if they thought I didn't actually care?

"So I'll be honest, a picnic wasn't actually in the plans. It just kinda came out so the food is just the team dinner and fruit."

"It doesn't matter to us Y/n, this is perfect. Is that wine?"

"Uh yeah, I hope I remembered correctly what type you like. Plastic cups for obvious reasons."

Christen sent a soft smile my way, hand resting on my arm. There was no way she couldn't tell how nervous I was, "You did, how about we sit down?"

We spent hours on the beach, watching the stars, talking and laughing a lot. Our conversations flowed easily like they did in the hotel room, but it seemed different somehow. They were a little more personal, deeper than previously. We talked more about our fears and what we might want in a relationship. 

I found myself with my head in Christens lap, her fingers running through my hair as I played with Tobin's fingers. The realisation hit me suddenly. There was no doubt left in my mind that I wanted to be with them. I wanted this, I wanted them. They were being so patient with me, waiting for me to make the move, to decide what I wanted. I didn't want to wait anymore.

After abruptly sitting up and facing their concerned faces, I took a deep breath and spoke before the courage went away, "I never wanted any part of this soulmate stuff. It was ridiculous to me, but the more I get to know you, the less I can deny the feelings I have for you both. I don't even think it's necessarily the soulmate thing. You two are kind, caring, patient, amazing in ways I never expected. I want to try this with you, be with you as you know girlfriends. If you might want to that is?"

They looked at each other for a second before nodding, each taking one of my hands as wide smiles stretched across their faces, "Of course we do Y/n. We want nothing more."

---

There was soft music playing in the background as I cleaned up my hotel room. I knew I could get the housekeeping to do it, but I find it therapeutic. Something that came from my military days and stuck. There was knock on the door, Christen waiting on the other side, "What are you up to baby?"

"Cleaning." I replied taking her hand and pulling her into me, "Now dancing."

Christen laughed as she allowed me to guide her around, spinning her around and pulling her back into me. It was like we both froze, staring into each others eyes, "Can I kiss you?"

"You don't have to ask," Christen whispered, leaning in and connecting our lips in a soft, slow kiss. Calmness washed over me, stronger than I had ever felt as I melted into her. I guess it's true what they say, kissing your soulmate is one of the most amazing feelings. It felt right, like the piece I was missing fell back into place as we connected in a way that I had never felt before. 

There was still a piece missing, I knew it was Tobin. I knew we might take a little longer to get here than Christen and I. She was more scared that I was just going to change my mind and decide to leave them, hurting them again. Tobin interacted with me in the same way Christen did, she cuddled with us, joked with me, talked to me. There was a barrier that she kept up though. When we cuddled, she always held Christen, she went on dates with me only when Christen was around as well.

Christen pulled away, leaning her forehead against mine, "What's wrong?"

"I don't want you to think that that kiss wasn't amazing because it was beyond amazing, but I'm thinking about Tobin. I know she's scared, she has every right to be. I'm in this Chris, I just wish I could get her to see that."

"I know. She'll get there Y/n, it might just take a bit of time. Just keep doing what you're doing and you two will be okay."

"Are you okay if I take her out tonight, just the two of us?"

"Of course. I think it'll be good for you guys."

---

There was a high chance that Tobin would make up an excuse as to why she couldn't make it if she knew the date would be the two of us. So I told her it was the three of us. I hated that I lied to her, but we needed to sort things out, spend time together. I was waiting in the lobby, getting more nervous as time went on. To be honest, I was a little bit scared of how Tobin would react when she found out Christen wasn't coming. Whether it be because I lied to her or because she would have to be around me alone. I hated that I felt that way about my girlfriend. 

I shamelessly watched Tobin walk over to me. She was only wearing simple black jeans and white short sleeved blouse, but she had recently cut her hair and looked amazing. Tobin stopped in front of me, her smile dropping when she noticed Christen was there, "Where's Chris? Isn't she supposed to be here?"

"We knew you probably wouldn't come if you knew it was just me. I'm sorry for lying to you, but I wanted this to just be me and you."

"It's fine."

"You don't have to go out with me if you don't want to. I understand."

"I want to be here Y/n."

I decided to be bold, kissing her cheek quickly. It had happened before, just not when it was only us, "You look beautiful by the way. I really like this new hair cut, it suits you."

A small, but genuine smile appeared, "You look pretty good yourself."

We walked along the street in slightly awkward silence until we reached the park. We had dinner reservations, but I had left time so we could talk before hand. I wasn't good at talking about my feelings. Though I knew we were going to get past this and actually work, then we needed to have an honest conversation about it, about us. To my surprise, Tobin let me lace our fingers together.

"Um I was hoping we could talk," Tobin's face dropped again as she tried to pull her hand away. I tightened my grip slightly, kissing the back of her hand, "Hey, it's nothing bad, I swear. I just think we need to have an honest conversation about us. I know you're scared Tobin, about me deciding that I don't want this and leaving you."

She seemed to relax slightly, "Chris told you?"

"She confirmed it. I understand why you're scared. I know it took me a while to come to terms with meeting my soulmates and figuring out what I wanted. That's in the past, without a doubt, I know what I want. I'm not going anywhere Tobin. I'm in this with you both. I want you both. I know words don't mean much, but please let me prove it to you. To be able to do that, I need you to let me in, even if it's only a little bit right now. I'm with you, I'm here to stay. If you still want me that is?"

"Don't even go there. Of course I want you Y/n. You are amazing and I know things are kind of rough between us, but I don't want you to think I don't want this. I know this is mostly my fault. I'm trying to let go of the fear, I really am, it's just harder than I expected.

"It's not your fault. I know you're trying. I don't expect that fear to go away just like that, but I want to take away the reason for that fear. Make your doubts go away."

Tobin smiled, cuddling up under my arm, "I'll stop pulling away so much, but I need you to push me a bit. I know you won't like that idea, being scared holds me back though. There have been times where I've wanted to do things, but the fear holds me back, it stops me. I don't mean force me, just a little push now and then."

I held her closer, kissing her temple, enjoying the feeling of finally getting to hold her properly. The idea of pushing her, made me uncomfortable. I understood where she was coming from though, I mean fear stopped me from taking the chance with them to begin with, "I guess that could be okay, but you have to tell me if it's too much. I don't want to push you too far."

"Deal, so you and Chris kissed huh? It's pretty great isn't it?"

I laughed loudly, of course Christen had told her, "It was. Chris is amazing. Are you okay with that? Us moving at a different speed to me and you."

"She really is. You guys go at whatever speed is right for you, we'll catch up. I um please don't go further without me though. I know Chris and I have already gone there, but with the three of us that's a big step, we shou-"

"It was never going to happen without you. Those important steps in our relationship happen together, with all of us."

"Thank you. It's weird, being out with out Chris. We've always done everything together. It is nice though, spending some time with you. I think it's what we needed to get out of the limbo we're in."

Things between us were a lot more comfortable after our talk. During dinner we connected in a way we hadn't before. Our conversations flowed easily as I let her in. I had told them somethings about my time in the marines and what happened after, but it was more superficial, a retelling rather than me actually opening up to them about the feelings involved. I knew that opening up would be an important part of progressing our relationship. I also still had nightmares, which I would rather them know before the sleep overs started. Of course Tobin was amazing, she held my hand listening as I talked before reassuring me that they would always be there when I needed them. 

It felt like we had already made progress. Since our conversation, Tobin actively sought my touch. Whether it was lacing our fingers together, wrapping her arms around me or resting them on my hips at the arcade or tucking herself under my arm as we walked along the beach. 

An hour or so later, we just stood outside their hotel room, neither of us making the move to leave. I knew it had to, but I didn't want the night to end. Even though they still made me nervous, when I was around either of them, I was relaxed, happy. It made leaving them hard. 

"Thank you for tonight Y/n. I had a great time."

I kissed her cheek, "Me too Tobes. I'll see you tomorrow?"

Tobin went to open the door, but quickly turned around, cupping my cheek and connecting our lips. There was something about it that made me weak at the knees. Maybe it was the passion behind it. Given our relationship so far, I was slightly surprised by it. Regardless, I reciprocated with just as much passion. I had been waiting for this moment for weeks. Ever since I let in the idea of being with them, my feelings had grown quicker than I could keep up. They were all I could think about most of the time, I wanted to be around them and if I wasn't, I just wanted to talk to them. I was comfortable, I felt safe with them which didn't happen with people often.

She pulled away slowly, smile stretching across her face, "Sorry that was out of no where, I've been thinking about doing that for a long time."

I cupped her cheek, leaving a lingering kiss on her lips, "Don't be, I've been wanting to do that for weeks."

"Things went well then?" Christens voice came from behind us. I wrapped my arm around her, kissing her cheek.

"You could say that. Thank you for being okay with us going out without you, we needed it. You were right Chris, we're going to be okay. We did miss you though."

Christen smiled, pecking both of our lips, "Of course I'm okay with you going out, we don't always have to be the three of us. We're together, but we're going to have different connections, different things we like doing. You have surfing, we have meditation, we all have hiking, and that's okay. I'm glad you had the chance to talk things out."

My fingers were laced with Tobin's as she asked a question that surprised me, "Do you want to come in? I don't think I'm ready for tonight to end yet."

"Neither am I."

#uswnt x reader #uswnt imagine #uswnt imagines #christen press x reader #christen press/reader #tobin heath x reader #tobin heath imagine

[cottondo]

ONCELER X READER

CHAPTER 2. | butterfly milk

Your body was laying halfway off of the bed. It wasn't the most comfortable, or natural position, but it felt right at the time. You press the phone up closer to your ear with an increasing smile as you listen to your friend on the other end.

"Aww, Y/N, it's beautiful here! You'd love it. I just know it," onceler beams into the phone.

A soft giggle escapes your chest, a lightness in your cheeks as you hear his voice. "I'll have to come visit you sooner than expected then, huh?" You smirk into the phone.

It's been a few days since you've heard from him, and, no lie, you really missed his voice. It was hard to believe that it had already been a month since he's left.

Being bored was an understatement. Most of your free time was spent with Oncie. Living without him was pretty lame. Who else were you supposed to stuff your cheeks full of marshmallows with? Or sing stupid songs about birds when you both couldn't sleep at night? Nobody.

"Sure! I'm think the Lorax wouldn't mind! I've already told him about you. Well, mentioned you, really."

You glance out the window of your bedroom and notice the dusky sky. Your brows furrow slightly. "Just couldn't keep my name to yourself, could you, oncie?"

"Psh, nah. I just had to prove that I wasn't a complete loner." He laughs. "He thinks I am."

Wow. What an ass.

You roll your eyes and sit up straight. "Thanks, I'm feelin' the love." You snort back. He chuckles into the speaker, and you can hear a few things moving around in the background. He was probably cooking.

"Hey, don't be like that! You know you're still being thought about." He teases back.

"Yeah, well . . I definitely miss you around here. 'Wish you'd come back sooner." You sink into your pillows, letting out a little sigh in turn.

Things just weren't the same without your best friend. Of course, it didn't help that you liked him. Maybe a bit more than you should have liked him, for someone who was supposed to be just your best friend.

It was kinda hard not to like him, though.

Onceler was fun, though sometimes a bit artless, but he knew how to make you laugh, and always put you in a good mood. Most nights, at his house, the two of you would sit by the fire in the backyard and he'd play his guitar.

Nobody really understood him like you did. And that's why he stuck around with you for so long, you were sure of it.

"I know, I'm sorry. But hey! Just think about all the money I'll be making once it really takes off!" He's grinning, you just know it.

You bite back the worry in your voice.

"I'm excited for you,"

It's not like it wasn't a good invention- - it was just . . different. His family shunned him for it, people laughed at him, and nobody really understood the purpose of a Thneed. It didn't really need to be brought into the world, you supposed.

"Thanks. It's gonna be great. But hey, listen. You really should come visit when you're free! It gets kinda lonely over here sometimes." Onceler says, "I mean, the Barbarloots are pretty good company, but they've been over staying their welcome." You can hear him bite back some annoyance in his tone.

You smile, nodding as if he could see you.

"Hell yeah, I'd be down." What was that feeling in your chest? Was that your heart pounding?

"I'll start packing tonight." You laugh.

  A few pots and pans clang around on the other end of the phone, and you cringe a little.

"Wait— really? I'm not actually lonely, you don't have t—"

"Uh, duh, yea I do. I'll head out tomorrow, so you're not an outcast anymore." You sneer. There's a playful smirk on your face, but it's not like he could see it. "I know you miss my company." It was a little hard to hold back the flirting sometimes. Naturally, you were just good at it.

"That's a little harsh. I've been fine on my own. It's nice!" Onceler retorts. "It's just me and the Thneed. Can't get any better than that."

You know damn well that was a lie. Man's been alone for too long, most of his life, and there was no way he could avoid that lie any longer.

You smile, teasing him back. "Uhuh, yeah. You're loosin' it, twiggy."

"Alllright." He puts an end to that teasing, and huffs into the phone. "Just call when you're leaving. I'll give you the address."

You kick your feet up, body hanging halfway off of the bed again. "Okay."

┏━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━┓

time skip

┗━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━┛

  When you got in the car to start your drive, you didn't expect it to have so many views. It was a long drive, a freaking troop, to get there.

You've heard stories as a kid about the Truffula Forest. It was known around most places, as the prettiest forest in the world. They say the scent of a tuft is sweeter than butterfly milk.

You can remember when you'd beg your mom to stay up and tell you all of the stories and fairytales of the one called the Lorax. A guardian of the forest, saver of trees. Endless tales of Swamee swans, and singing fish. Their harmonies would echo throughout the hills, and they'd swim through the crystal clear lakes.

So when you remembered the stories, you imagined it being as beautiful as they all said it would be. But seeing it for yourself? You couldn't even explain how amazing the views were. The hills went on for miles. There was a sweetness in the air, and it was light and floral.

Creeks and rivers streamed through bright grass, and in them, the notorious fish, and above high, in the Truffula trees, were the Swamee swans.

Some Barbarloots laze around, while others, climb trees and avoid your vehicle. They peer down at you with curiosity, noses sniffing around your new scent.

You jumped out of the car with wide eyes, pep in your step.

This was it. The place of your dreams- - the spot you'd been longing for to see, hear, and smell.

This was definitely the place.

#onceler #the lorax #onceler x reader #greedler x reader #lorax 2022 #lorax 2023 #truffulaseedlings #truffula trees

[bqstqnbruin]

See You Again

I'm actually posting a fic for the first time in seven months aka the first fic I've finished in seven months peace love teaching

anyway, I wrote this for the lovely @wyattjohnston's summer fic exchange! I got to write for @selfindulgentpoorlywritten but I've never written for Nico before, so I hope you like this (I was fully inspired by my own mess of a life)

Edit since I’m a dumbass thank you to @kat-hearts for reading this first and being amazing ily 😭

One of the characters, Nat is nonbinary, and I did my best to make the reader gender netural, which I haven't done before on either account, so I hope I did it justice (if something is glaringly wrong, please let me know!)

Warnings: I was mean with the ending? A little? Also, some swearing, drinking, almost physical fighting

Word Count: almost 2.8k

_______________________________________

“When was the last time you saw him?”

You tried to shift through your memory to figure that out. In person, the last time was sometime in the first week of December about two years ago. Thinking about him, which thankfully didn’t count, would involve you giving a much more recent answer, way more recent than you would really like to admit. “I don’t remember.” 

“Well,” your roommate Nat says, looking down at their phone. “I have bad news.”

“Fucking hell,” you moan, tilting your head to hit the back of the seat of the Uber. You knew what they were going to say before the words even started to come out of their mouth.

“Nico is going to be there tonight. With all the guys.” You let out another groan, the Uber driver giving you a scowl through the rearview mirror. “I’m sorry! Jack didn’t know he was coming, or he would have told us way before we got ready.” 

You stare out the window, trying to think of all the ways that you could get out of this situation. You already paid for the Uber and didn’t want to pay for another one. You weren’t about to go somewhere by yourself, especially since the bar you were heading towards wasn’t within a reasonable walking distance if you were to go somewhere by yourself, and no way was Nat going to leave with you without Jack, and Jack, of course, wasn't going to leave without his teammates. 

“We can go back right now and I’ll tell Jack to have fun with his team instead,” Nat tells you as if they could read your mind. They put their hand over yours, trying to give you any sense of calm that was setting into your panic. “We do not have to be around Nico.” 

“What kind of person tells someone they like them but not enough to date them?” you mutter, knowing you and Nat have had this conversation many times on your kitchen floor, drunk and crying together at 2 in the morning. They had introduced you to Nico one night after a game when the team went out to celebrate. They had been dating Jack for about a year at that point, meeting him through his brother at Michigan and reconnecting when they both realized they were going to be in New Jersey together. Quinn had used the reasoning of, “he won’t know anyone in the state,” only for everyone to realize later that he knew Jack had been smitten with Nat since they met. If only you had been so lucky. 

You had known of Nico, obviously. How could you not? He was the captain of the Devils, the team you grew up surrounded by, the number one draft pick in the sport your roommate never shut up about. He covered your social media feeds without you really wanting them to and everyone you knew talked about what a great game he had the night before. You couldn’t escape the idea of him, no matter where you went. 

When you met him that night a few years back, there was something about him in person that you were drawn to. He had been just an idea to you, not someone you could think about as being real. You spent that entire night with him, your friends either wandering off or you too enthralled with Nico to notice that they were there. Nat and Jack were heading back to your place before last call, and you were left knowing that you had to see Nico again.  

He asked if he could kiss you, making you melt as his hand gently snaked its way to your cheek, pulling you close when you said yes and covering your mouth with his. You waited for his text the next day, anxiously checking your phone until he finally did after 3 pm. From then on, you told each other everything, texting each other whenever you could, him calling you and heading over to your apartment whenever he didn’t have an obligation to the team. You fell hard for him and you had believed that he felt the same about you. 

“The kind of person who doesn’t know what they have until it’s gone,” Nat tells you, trying to pep you up. “Hey, we can find you a guy that is just as hot as Nico tonight.” 

“I’m gonna move to Ireland and isolate myself with the spuds.”

“Act like you can be away from me for that long,” they tease, earning a laugh from you. “I’m serious, though. Tell me what you want to do, or who you want to do, and Jack and I will make it happen.”

You didn’t want someone just as hot as Nico, you wanted Nico. You hated the fact that there was more than one time that you had pulled up his messages on your phone, part of you unable to delete that conversation thread even though you knew it would be the healthy thing to do. But you weren’t known amongst your friends for doing what was best for your mental wellbeing, so you kept them, going back through the conversations you had in the four months you were seeing him. The last text was what haunted you the most, him telling you that he was going to be back in Switzerland for the summer and that he ‘didn’t want you tied down to one person’ while he was gone.

He said he would text you when he was back. 

He never did. 

There were multiple times when you wanted to text him, but you never did, either. 

“Yeah,” you manage to choke out. “Let’s do it.” 

You spend the rest of the ride in silence, trying to think of where in the bar you would be able to hide from Nico so that he wouldn’t see you. The guys were already inside, Jack telling Nat about 10 minutes ago that they went to start drinking as fast as they could. 

The bar was somehow muggy inside, as if the beer itself hung in the air rather than the sweat of the nearly one hundred drunk people that were crowding every square inch of the floor. Jack was easy to spot for Nat, his five foot eleven frame not the largest of his teammates, but still distinct enough that your roommate had left your side within seconds of entering to be with their partner. 

So much for finding you someone tonight. 

You tried to stay away from him, closer to Nat and Jack as best as you could, but they kept wandering off from you. The last thing you wanted to do was go with them when they were both on their way to drunk and have a history of doing slightly illegal things in the bathrooms at bars. 

You had to find someone to talk to. Any person who looked interesting. Any other guy on the team who you were friends with, but that was really only Jack, and that was really only because he’s dating Nat. Your phone was your only comfort, finding a table that had been pushed up against the wall and hoping that there was something you could doom scroll on that would distract you from looking towards Nico. 

He had the right to do what he wanted at the bar with his teammates. You weren’t together. 

“You ok?” you hear during a lull in the music, pulling you away from your phone for a moment. You didn’t know who was standing in front of you, one of the newer guys from the trade deadline that Nat definitely hadn’t introduced you to. He was waiting for you to respond, looking like he had wanted to sit down with you.

“Yeah, just, not a big ‘going out’ person.”

He lets out a nervous laugh, a smile that sends a jolt through your system that you hadn’t felt in a while. Since Nico, if you were really willing to be honest with yourself. “Me neither, honestly. I’m just here because I didn’t have anything else to do.” 

“I got dragged here with my roommate so they can be with their boyfriend,” you tell him, gesturing to Nat and Jack trying their best to sneak out of the bathroom, Jack’s shirt buttoned wrong, both of their previously neatly styled hair in a mess that you only saw after hearing them the night before. 

“So that’s the infamous Nat,” he says, taking the seat beside you. You nod as he continues, “Jack never shuts up about them. Not that Jack shuts up about anything or anyone, ever, but especially not Nat.” 

“I always knew he was a good one,” you tell him, introducing yourself so he knew you as more than just, ‘his teammate's partner’s roommate.’

“I’m Timo.” 

You spent the rest of the night bouncing between the table and the bar with Timo, him buying you every drink you wanted. There was something about him that was different, but you couldn’t focus all of your attention on him. 

He was talking about his time in San Jose while you were waiting for your next round of drinks. You couldn’t focus on a word he was saying, Nico within your line of sight talking to a girl. A really attractive girl, you might add. You felt your heart drop, feeling a lump in your throat forming faster than you could lie to yourself about that scene having no effect on you. Naturally, Nico would talk to other people. You hadn’t talked to him in two years, let alone seen him in person. Just because you couldn’t get over him, no matter how hard you tried, that didn’t mean he didn’t get over you.

“And then I got traded here, and I love it, so far,” you tune back into Timo, who is suddenly much closer than you remember. It’s just because the bar is loud, people are starting to crowd for drinks, and, fuck, you have to admit, he’s pretty hot. 

Nico was still watching. 

Timo took your hand, leading you off to the table where you were before, the drinks in your hand probably not ones that you needed to begin with. His free hand snaked its way to your waist, pulling you close to him. You could feel your heart racing faster with every inch he got closer to you. You wanted him to kiss you. 

You thought you did. 

“I’m sorry,” you pull away right as his lips were about to meet yours, tears starting to form in your eyes, leaving the drink he bought you in his hands as you ran from him. Your breath catches in your throat while you try to find Nat and Jack, just praying that they weren’t back in the bathroom or too intoxicated in general to help out. 

You heard Timo calling after you, somehow, through the volume of the music and your own drunkenness, breaking through and getting to you. You didn’t want Timo calling your name, you wanted it to be Nico. 

You needed it to be Nico. 

“Hey, hey,” you hear, feeling a familiar hand gently place itself on your arm. You turn around, Nico’s face a mixture of concern and fury. “What did he do?” 

“He, he,” you stammer, the tears falling faster the more you looked at him, every memory you had with him suddenly rushing back into your mind. “He didn’t do anything. You did.”

You yank your arm from him, trying to find anywhere to be in the building that didn’t have one of Nico’s teammates looking at you causing a scene. You knew he was following you, calling your name again and again over the music. People were starting to stare, but no part of you cared, trying harder to not let the tears that were burning your eyes fall down your cheeks. 

Nat and Jack were nowhere to be seen, the rest of Nico’s teammates trying to figure out what was going on when you burst through the front door of the bar, the cold fall air hitting your face as soon as you did. You let out a sob, trying to steady yourself against the wall of the building, sliding down to the ground while people waiting to get in tried to figure out if they should help you or if you were just another drunk person having some sort of meltdown that was none of their business. 

“Hey,” you hear, a soft voice coming from above you. “I’m so sorry if I did something wrong.” Timo slid down next to you. “I read the situation wrong, I thought you were also into me.”

“I am, I just,” you start, trying to think of what to say. 

“Hey, what the fuck did you do?” Nico yells, pulling Timo off the ground. “What did he do to make you cry?”

“Nico, stop,” you let out, Timo looking both confused and terrified by his new captain’s hand on his shirt collar. “He didn’t do anything.”

“What the fuck did I miss?” Timo asked, slowly trying to back away from Nico staring you down. 

“Why can you talk to other people and I can’t?” you ask him, feeling your sadness turn into anger. “You had no issue not talking to me for the last two years.” 

“I’m gonna go,” Timo lets out, barely loud enough for the two of you to hear and sneaking away before you could notice. 

“You didn’t want to talk to me,” Nico counters, taking a step towards you. “But you wanted to talk to TImo instead?”

“Where the fuck did you get that idea?” 

“You never texted me. You’ve spent the entire night avoiding me. You think I didn’t see you when you were by yourself on your phone?” 

“You were in Sweden. And you could have come up to me and talked to me, what was stopping you? Oh, that’s right, your new girlfriend.”

“Switzerland. And she’s not my girlfriend. I haven’t seen anyone in ages.”

“Wherever you were, you weren’t here,” you tell him, your back against the wall. How long had it been since he had last seen someone? There was no way you had been the last person he was with. “You told me you didn’t want to be tied down while you were back home. You didn’t even want to talk to me, because if you did, you would have.” 

“You’re joking,” he scoffs. “You think I didn’t want to talk to you? Every fucking day I have thought about how our conversations would go when I saw you after you get home from work. I would think about you telling me about your day, about everything you would tell Nat, or whoever you were seeing at the time. Every single person I saw in the last two years, I wanted them to be you.” 

You didn’t know what to say, letting Nico’s words sink in. “Then why didn’t you text me when you came back from Switzerland?” 

Nico took in a deep breath, closing his eyes and tilting his head up to the sky. “Because I thought there was no way someone else wouldn’t have realized how amazing you are. There was no way I could be someone who you thought was worth waiting for.” 

Nico takes a step towards you, his hand gently taking yours. This was a moment you had been thinking about since he left for Switzerland two years ago. You knew he was going to kiss you, having you pinned against the wall of the building. His free hand cupped your cheek.

“There you guys are!” Nat interrupts, them and Jack clearly having just finished up doing something they weren’t supposed to be doing. Nico steps away from you, clearing his throat, the red in his cheeks so noticeable there was no way even your roommate wouldn’t comment on it later.  “We’ve been looking for you, for um.”

“Long enough,” Jack finishes their sentence, a stupid smile covering his face. You knew he was lying, but no part of your brain was letting you focus on that. Nico leaned against the building, his arm up over your head. “The uber’s almost here. Are you ready to go?”

No. “Yes.” 

The three of you leave Nico standing there by himself, Nat and Jack falling asleep in the Uber as soon as it gets on the highway. 

You check your phone for the first time in a while, a lone notification popping up on your phone that hadn’t been there in almost two years. 

‘Nico, iMessage.’ 

#nico hischier #nico hischier fic #new jersey devils #devils #new jersey devils fic #devils ic #summer fic exchange 2023

[critter-coded]

I'm honestly questioning myself from scratch for a while. I want to feel entirely confident in what I'm calling myself, but that doesn't make me less of a therian either.

I'm going to be entirely transparent for a moment as an adult, and explain sort of my feelings and why I've felt so wishy washy with my labels lately. I don't feel that I "owe" anyone an explanation, but I do feel that others may relate.

I've been trained for 22 years be a human.

In elementary school, I answered "dog" for what I wanted to be when I grew up, while everyone else wrote doctor or lawyer. I didn't fit in. You can't strive to become a 'dog'. I was bullied and excluded relentlessly, but it didn't stop me until teachers started calling my family about it. I began to feel shame for the first time, and suddenly found that my recess time was spent sitting in time out. Playing with ants wasn't okay. Digging in the playground wasn't okay. Eating without utensils wasn't okay. I think about her all of the time, and how sad she must have felt to be punished for unharmful behaviors and told to "fix" it. I didn't know how.

Middle school is when I started to experience dysphoria. It wasn't gender dysphoria like I thought for a long time. It was species dysphoria. The experience of developing breasts didn't feel correct. Animals, even mammals, don't have them like I do. Bras made me feel feral and I always tried not to wear them. It got me sent to the office more than once all because my chest wasn't as small as some other girls'. My clothes were no longer acceptable either, and I didn't want to wear what everyone else was. More exclusion if I didn't choose to follow the rest.

High school was the worst. I was fitting in finally, but my mental health struggled horrifically. I had no safe avenues anymore to deal with my stress. I couldn't voice that I didn't like something without aggression because I couldn't use animal behaviors anymore. My clothes scratched, my bra itched, my grades struggled. I was in the counselors office more than I would like to admit. My family was in disarray and I felt caught in the middle of it all, with no way to be anything but human. My girlfriend at the time knew I was a therian since I finally found the word to describe how I felt, but she relentlessly held it against me and shamed me anytime she wasn't happy which was often. At some point, I ended up in the ER with mental health concerns and in therapy accordingly. Nothing seemed to help me though.

College was fine. I kept my head down and just tried to get through my work. Socializing felt damn near impossible, but I was managing. I don't know what I would have done if the pandemic didn't happen, moving me online for 2 years. I finally had a last ticket out of my parents' house, and I had found a boyfriend who loved every bit of my crittery behaviors. It was a good time for me to finally try and rediscover myself, but that fell apart when I graduated.

My home state drove me out by cost alone. I moved the same month I walked the stage with my degree, and I had a job already lined up. I was excited for the money, freedom, and new experiences. Soon though, that turned into a complete loss of my nonhumanity. I am now working 8 hours a day where I have to behave perfectly around everyone. I drive 1 hour to work and 1 hour home. I have to cook and clean and run errands. I need to shower and lay out my clothing for the next day, then try to get 8 hours of sleep. Where do I find the time to be an animal anymore? On the hiking trails, everyone is watching me. In my dreams, I'm a human worried about my finances and my social interactions. I feel lost a lot of the time as my animalistic behaviors are sometimes limited to a single hiss in traffic, wearing a tail while I cook or clean, or a very short nap in a hammock outside where my neighbors can still see me.

I'm trying to reconnect with myself, but there is little time and space. It is entirely possible to be an adult nonhuman, but I am finding that it can require dedicated time set aside in the day. If you're feeling disconnected from yourself, I think it's worth asking: when did the disconnect begin? Was it really a month ago? Or has it began decades ago when people told you you're not normal, that you won't fit in, and that you'll fail. How does a dog know what makes it a dog anymore if it has been trained to speak human, work like a human, spend time outside like a human, drive as a human, and so on.

Be gracious with yourself and give yourself dedicated time to be an animal. You are not broken or wrong or stupid. You need animal time as a therian to be healthy, happy, and focused. You need animal time to give yourself a break from a world not willing to adjust to your behaviors. You need animal time to feel like yourself, and to connect with your roots. You're nonhuman even if sometimes you wonder if you still are, if you struggle to stick with a label because you can't remember what you actually feel like, and if you can't find the time some days to be nonhuman.

You are still authentic. You are still real. You are deserving of joy and comfort. Be the little critter you are.

I'll probably make some self care idea posts more geared for adults and older teens sometime soon to directly address this issue. Even without a label, I still plan on being active online as much as I am active offline. ♡ When a label feels like it best suits what I'm experiencing or want to focus myself around, I'll announce it.

#therian #otherkin #therianthropy #therianthrope #adult therian #writing #alterhuman #nonhuman

[black-suns-rim]

Perseverance

Wow, been a while since I've made a short story. Anyway, this one is about Big Papa seeking out help and pulling through.

The days were going by too fast. They blurred together, and they were getting hard to keep track of. Days merged into weeks, and weeks were hard to distinguish between months. But he still kept going despite being so tired. Big Papa was updating his inventory after the week he spent in one of the merchant stalls.

He was a bit slower than usual. He would've already been done by now if he weren't so sluggish. He would usually have some help, but he allowed for his crew to have some time off from their duties since they had been working hard all week. After cataloging everything, he sat down on the cold metal floor, leaning his back up against one of the metal shelves that came out from the wall.

He looked at the ceiling and sighed. His mandibles slowly moved as he thought about what he wanted to do next. But he didn't want to do anything, though he knew he should do something. He didn't like to sit around when he knew he could get stuff done... he huffed as he got up from the floor. He headed out from the storage room and made his way to the cockpit of his ship, sitting down in the pilot's seat. He pulled up a holo screen on his wrist gauntlet, checking to make sure all of his crew members were on the ship. Once he was sure they were all on board, he prepared the ship for departure from the planet. He had an idea of where he wanted to go, and he acted out of a desperate impulse.

The ship was a smooth sailer, and at times, the crew never noticed when it landed or took off from planets or stations. It was also a silent flyer. It made very little noise. Inside and out. Though it did eminate a soft, low, soothing hum from the inside.

Once Big Papa had his course set, he let the ship fly on autopilot. He leaned back in the seat and rested his eyes. The next thing he knew, one of his crew members was waking him up. He slowly opened his eyes to see Rajneesh, the crew's moral support and event planner.

He was holding a large plate of food in his hands and saying something, but Big Papa was too groggy to catch what he was saying. The next thing he knew, Raj placed the plate of food in Papa's lap. Before he could thank him, Rajneesh walked off with a spring in his step, cheerful almost. Papa looked down at the plate full of food. He stared at it, somewhat dredding it. He couldn't remember how long its been when he actually had an appetite and wanted to eat. He stared at it for a while before he forced himself to eat at least something on the plate, even if it wasn't much. He ate all that he could without feeling disgusted and then checked to see how long it had been that he had been asleep for. "4 hours?" He thought to himself, "Long nap..." He moved the plate from his lap and stood up, stretching all his muscles.

He looked at how much longer it would be to arrive at the desired location he had placed into the computer, only to see it would take 3 more hours. He couldn't think of what to do during that time besides showering, so he did. There was only one showering room on the ship and it was shared, though Big Papa did split it up into 2 sections since his crew explained to him that human men and women often showered separately from each other, unless they were a couple. He did find that strange in the beginning, but after learning more about their culture over the years of working with them, it made some sense to him.

He felt so tired, even after that long nap. He didn't want to stand. He didn't feel like standing in the shower, so he sat as the water pelted his back and head. He watched the water run down his body, mesmerized by the way it trailed down him in ever-changing patterns. He didn't realize how long he had been sitting on the shower floor until he heard his name being called by another crew member. He turned his head to see Ehud, the security officer.

"Are you alright? You've been so still for a while, Pops." Ehud had a towel wrapped around his waste and wet hair clung to his face. Big Papa stood up and turned off the water, ignoring the question. He grabbed a towel from one of the cabinets nearby and dried himself off. Ehud was still a little concerned.

"Pops," He walked over to him as he was drying off, "Is there something wrong? You know you can talk about anything with us."

Papa was growing a bit agitated, "Nothing wrong." He spoke in English. Ehud knew he was lying, but he didn't want to push him, so he nodded and let him be. Big Papa went to his personal room once he was done drying off. He didn't feel like getting dressed at that moment, so he laid in his bed. He fell asleep once more. He woke up a couple hours later to the sound of his gauntlet beeping. He got up from his bed and rubbed his face as he grabbed his gauntlet in a groggy state.

He pressed a couple of buttons, letting a holo screen pop up. His ship had arrived to the planet he had set course to, and it was now in orbit. Papa sighed as he placed his gauntlet onto his left arm and got dressed. He left his personal room, heading to the pilot seat to prepare the ship for entering the atmosphere of the planet manually. He usually didn't like autopilot to land the ship unless he couldn't see well enough to do it himself.

The landing went smooth, and he was able to touch down close enough to the destination he wanted. It was currently night on the side of the planet he landed on, which lined up with the crew's sleep schedule. Though, it was probably a couple of hours off. Papa took with him a heavy fur cloak and a couple of other things before leaving the ship, making sure it was secure before heading off. He didn't want any unwanted gusts entering his ship while his crew was asleep. Many animals lurked around this place during the night.

About an hour of walking later, he arrived at the Nomad Clan's mother ship. Granted, it was small for a clan mother ship, but the clan was also small though growing steadily. He walked up to one of the entry doors and held his gauntlet to a sensor, which unlocked the door, making him able to enter. He wasn't a part of the clan, but he was a trusted ally who was granted all-time entry access into the mother ship when needed or wanted. He made sure to step lightly since most occupants of the mother ship were asleep at this time, but knowing the yautja he wanted to visit, he wouldn't be asleep like the rest.

He entered a neatly organized and well lit room with various scientific instruments. In a corner of the room, a yautja was sitting at a raised desk, looking into a microscope. Papa knocked on the metal door frame to get this yautja's attention. The yautja looked up to see the brown toned yautja standing in the doorway.

"Well, if it isn't 'Big Papa.' I wasn't expecting you to be here. Especially at this time." Furious Scalpel left his desk and grabbed two bottles of c'ntlip, "come in, friend." He pulled out two chairs as Papa entered the room. Scalpel handed a bottle to him as they sat down.

"What brings you here so unexpectedly?" Scalpel popped open his bottle while Papa just held onto his for now.

"I just... felt like I needed to talk to someone." He looked down at his bottle and rubbed his fingers on the cold glass.

"What do you need to talk about?" Scalpel could tell something was bother him. Something was off.

"I... don't know... just something. Anything."

Scalpel sat back into his chair, thinking for a little bit. "How's your trade been going? Got any more unique items?" Scalpel drank from his bottle.

"It's been good... I've been getting lots of business at almost every stand I pitch." Papa placed his bottle off to the side, "I have acquired a couple of items you might take interest in."

"Nice. And do tell me about these items. I would love to hear what you have obtained."

"A couple of... substances that may or may not harber potentionally dangerous bacteria and or other lethal compounds." Usually, he would be excited to tell Scalpel of what he's gotten that he might take interest in, but his spark wasn't there as he spoke.

"Very tempting. I might just buy those off of you. I don't know how you find these things, but you always end up surprising me with them." Scalpel took another sip from his bottle.

"You can take a look at them in the morning if you wish." He was having a hard time keeping his eyes open. He wanted to sleep again, but he knew he shouldn't since he's been sleeping so much lately. Scalpel took notice of Big Papa's physical state. He felt concerned.

"Yeah, that would be nice. I have been collecting a bunch of different bacteria samples lately. It would fit in perfect with my semi-lethal collection." He attempted to be a bit humorous, but he failed to amuse Papa.

"Tell me, what's really going on? It's not like you to come here without a heads up. You haven't touched your c'ntlip at all, and you haven't taken your cloak off."

Papa was silent as he looked at the ground, spacing out. Scalpel sighed before scooting his chair closer to him, "Hey, I'm concerned for you. You staying silent won't help." He placed his drink down and leaned forward, looking Papa in the eyes.

In response, he placed his elbows on his knees and put his face into his palms, "I... I am just having a hard time... I don't feel passionate about anything anymore. I'm always so tired but I've been sleeping so much... everything is going so good for me and my crew, but I feel nothing for it." He started getting choked up, so Papa grabbed his c'ntlip bottle, opened it, and began to down it as if he were dying of thirst. He didn't want to cry in front of Scalpel. He didn't want to be embarrassed.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Scalpel took the bottle away from Big Papa, "Drowning out your feelings with this won't help you. I know, trust me." He placed the bottle off to the side, "you need to get through this in a healthy way." Scalpel stood up from his seat and made Big Papa stand up too, "why don't we go for a walk?"

Papa nodded and followed Scalpel out of the clan ship. There wasn't any destination in mind. There was only the intention of getting Papa to relax. They walked in silence for what seemed like an hour before Scalpel decided to speak.

"How long has this been going on? The tiredness and such?"

Papa sighed, "Too long... hmm... a couple of months, maybe? I don't know. I've stopped keeping track of time..."

"Have you been doing anything to help get you out of feeling this way?"

"I did try a couple of things. But they didn't work much."

The both of them stopped walking once they reached a large lake. They sat on an old fallen tree that had a good view of the lake.

"Have you tired medicine? I could whip up a remedy for you." Scalpel suggested.

"I'd rather not take medicine... something is causing me to feel this way. I'd rather find out what it is and fix it than take something that suppresses what needs to be fixed."

"Fair enough... I'm afraid I can't help you with that since, you know, psychology isn't my strong suit."

"It's alright... being able to talk with you, though, it helps me, even if it feels like you can't help me." Papa leaned forward, crossing his arms and resting them on his legs, looking down at the ground. He felt like he was going to cry, but he choked back the tears again.

Scalpel could tell Big Papa was trying not to cry in front of him. Feeling bad for him, he hesitantly placed a hand on Papa's shoulder. He hated any kind of physical contact, but he knew his friend relished it. But for him, he felt like he needed that comfort. Papa covered his face in embarrassment as those choked back tears began to pour out from his face.

The gentle comforting pats that came from Scalpel were surprising to him, but he didn't swat away his hand. Scalpel felt a little awkward watching and listening to Papa cry since he had never done so before right in front of him. He also felt sympathy for him, knowing as these were tears that had been held back for so long. He could feel the pain in Big Papa's sobbing.

After a while, he calmed down. He whipped the tears off from his face, and Scalpel removed his hand from Papa's shoulder. He kept his eyes on the ground, feeling very embarrassed. The both of them didn't know what to say, so they kept silent. Listening to the sounds of the forest, Papa and Scalpel found a sort of peace in it. No words needed to be spoken in this moment, and they were fine with that.

Papa was starting to doze off again, so he slowly stood up and took off his giant fur cloak. Leaving it on the fallen tree they had been using as a seat, he walked to the lake's fresh water. Bending down, he cupped his hands and slashed the water against his face, waking him up in a freshening way as well as washing away his dried tears. The water was so cold and crisp that it was addicting to splash against his hot face a couple of times before going back to sit down again, followed by more silence.

It was merely broken by a simple and quiet "thank you."

Big Papa spoke meekly but sincerely. Scalpel nodded, "Anytime." He didn't feel as awkward now. The both of them got up and headed back to the clan ship. Big Papa felt a bit better, and Scalpel could tell.

"So, do we need to go find a subject to torture now? I know a place that has been a hideout for all types of crooks and criminals."

Papa let out a chuckle, "How about you show me your deadly virus collection cause I know you have one."

"Me, having illegal viruses? How dare you say something like that about me?" Scalpel remarked with heavy sarcasm. They both looked at each other and laughed.

Once they got back to the clan ship, they chatted about various. Some of their interests, philosophy, and possible crimes they could get away with. All hypothetical. The rest of the time was spent in silence. A peaceful and relaxing silence. It didn't take too long for Big Papa to drift to sleep in one of Scalpel's seats. Scalpel, on the other hand, continued his work until he heard the first of the clan members beginning their morning. That's when he knew it was time for him to be overcome by sleep.

#yautja #predator #alien #the predator #character #oc #yautja oc #predator oc #predsona #yautja sona #not my oc #oc crossover #short story #writing #story post #positive post #motivational #one off

[itsjaywalkers]

hi hi, would u be able to give us any oby facts and headcanons that maybe won’t be mentioned in the story?

OF COURSE NONNIE in fact i'd love to bc i've barely been able to write these past two days bc of work and . i miss them </3

they fuck at the very least once a day (usually more tho)

james goes to pick reg up from work whenever his job allows him to

this means that when he gets impatient waiting for reg to change he goes inside the staff room (since reg's coworkers already know who he is) and corners him . bc he can't wait long without putting his hands (or mouth) on reg

they've gone for quickies inside there SO MANY TIMES

reg is an absolute disaster in the kitchen, he keeps himself alive through instant ramen + the meal deals at tesco + what they feed him at work, so james cooks for him whenever he gets the chance

reg has a priv twt acc where only barty + the twins + sirius follow him and he makes very feral threads about james there (without mentioning james during the time sirius doesn't know)

reg's coworkers gossiped about reg and his mysterious partner for WEEKS bc he started being glued to his phone during shifts and he kept smiling and they barely know shit about him

mistletoes are Forbidden ever since that first christmas they all spent together after oby jeggy had finally made it official and they . ended up under one and what started as a very cute very soft kiss ended up as a heavy make out session with reg up against the wall, legs around james' waist and them grinding against each other in front of . everyone

james doesn't do casual. when he says to reg that he hasn't had sex in a while . he actually means that he hasn't had sex in over year . since his last relationship in fact

the first person james told about reg is lily (who is his literal ex and to whom he was engaged to mind) since she's the only safe option

sirius finds out about the daddy thing . and once it's out peter weaponises the shit out of it whenever he needs something from james

"reg james is being stubborn about dinner and i feel like having pizza tonight could u maybe drop a 'daddy' and change his mind"

reg scowls and rolls his eyes and refuses to play along just to turn around and drop a 'daddy' whener it suits HIM

barty asks reg at some point about who other ppl he's fucking apart from james since they're technically only hooking up and reg has a fucking breakdown when he realises 1. he's only been fucking james for months and 2. they're not exclusive which means james Must be fucking other ppl

i've already mentioned their need to be constantly touching skin on skin which . brings me to my next point

in winter or . just when it's cold and reg is all bundled up in a scarf and gloves and touching turns a lot more difficult bc of all the layers . james grips him by the back of his neck

he just slips his hand under the scarf and they walk around + stand around like that (me and mil are so feral over this)

reg does top a lot more often than ppl might think (and i cannot wait to write it)

despite how much reg loves sucking cock, james doesn't let him do it that much bc he'd much rather spend the time eating him out

oby james has a bit of an oral fixation (all of my james do tbh) so he's never happy with eating reg out once or until he comes one time . he goes all out

reg and peter make bets about how long it'll take james and sirius to go back to normal once the secret is out (reg cheats and wins)

and i'm gonna shut up now bc this has already gotten . too long

#asks #anons #fic series: only by you

[just-my-type-x]

heyyy ummm,can you write something about brad keeps bailing the reader and missing their dates so they end up having steaming "make up sex" and then he does really sweet after care like run a bath and then brad apologizes when they're in cuddling ready to go to sleep x

Tit For Tat

I was feeling scandalous so i added some things to make the angst good. Hope u enjoy it ♥️

TW: unprotected sex, mentions of alcohol

Y/N is an actress in here

🍾

"I'm sorry, love, can't make it tonight. Late studio session, Tris was late.", i stare at the text message while looking around me. The whole restaurant is packed and i shrug in frustration, aware of how much time I've spent on the waitlist to get a dinner scheduled here. I don't even think I'm mad. I don't feel anything, but disappointment at this point.

I leave him on read and take my purse, looking for my wallet. Great thing i didn't think to leave it home, playing the Oh, Bradley, i forgot my wallet card, but it looks like i don't have a partner for this game. I call the waiter to my table and ask for the check. As he leaves, i see a familiar brownish curly hair, looking as disappointed as me. I wave at him and his smile lights up his whole face.

"Y/N! What a surprise!", Gavin says and hugs me on the side, taking a seat afterwards.

"I know! What are you doing here? And why the sad face?", i take one more sip of the white wine i ordered hours ago while waiting for Brad.

"I think i just got stood up", his smile fades for a second but his iconic smirk shows up again. "Why are you sad and alone in a fancy restaurant? With no more drinks around you at least", he laughs and tells the waiter to bring us 2 glasses of champagne instead of my check.

"I got stood up too, by my own boyfriend..", the last part is almost whispered and i look another way. Gavin gives me a questioning look, lifting one of his eyebrows. "Late studio session. So he says. I think they're just having more fun without me", i laugh, but it does feel like that sometimes.

"No way, there's no way he'd have more fun without you. You're amazing and he knows that. Maybe he's really busy right now. You know how schedules get messed up when you're also on set.", he assures me and taps me on the back of my hand.

"I don't know, Gav. It's something that keeps repeating. We see each other pretty rarely as it is, I've been free for three months and we only went to two dates. Two out of forty.", i throw a napkin in frustration.

"It's not my business to discuss this with you and you won't erase the past if you only tell me this stuff. Talk to him, tell him how you feel. All i can tell you is that as busy as he might be, you were way busier when you were working and still managed to go to dates with him and spend quality couple time."

I sigh at his words, knowing he's right. I never discussed this with Brad and i always assured him that we're fine and that we have all the time in the world to go on dates. I nod at Gavin and give him a smile.

"Thank you for that. I guess i just wanted to push the conversation away.", i shrug my shoulders

"Now, let's have fun", he takes another sip of champagne while looking thoroughly through the menu.

🍾

The next day i wake up to an empty bed. I frown and check my phone to see any texts or calls from Brad, but nothing. When i got back home last night from the restaurant, Brad was still not home, so i didn't bother waiting for him, as i was already upset with him and angry.

I get out of the bedroom and relief fills my body as i see him making breakfast. I let out a breath, unaware of the uneasy feeling i had. I smile at him when he looks towards me and he does the same. We hug and give each other a good morning kiss.

"I didn't hear you when you got home last night", i take a bite of the bacon

"I know", he turns his back at me and flips the eggs. I frown.

"How was the studio session?", i ask, my intention of asking nicely fading with each word in the question. You can say i hold grudges.

"Good. We have 2 songs", Brad keeps his distance. "Did you have fun last night?", he asks as he pours the eggs on a plate and places the plate with force on the counter top, making the plate slide under my nose. I push the plate away from me.

"On the date you didn't bother to show up to? I had a blast", i sarcastically answer him, but it's not completely true, because at least i had good company.

"You didn't seem to need me", he eyes me for the second time this morning, his stare burning mine. He hits a glass on the counter top with the same force he had on the plate and pours himself orange juice.

"I'd like more information. What?"

"Oh, you don't know about your own date with Gavin? Your friend? Or should i extract myself from the equation?", Brad slaps his palms on the table and his head drops between his shoulders. "What happened last night, Y/N?"

He pulls out his phone on an Instagram page that posted a picture of me and Gavin at the table, both of us in our fancy clothes, sipping champagne close to midnight. The title said "Y/N Y/L/N all fancied up with new love interest Gavin Casalegno? The young costars were spotted last night in London's fanciest restaurant", i grab Brad's phone to read the caption. "Does love beat the movie? In their case, maybe. Source says they seemed to have fun and quote not a care in the world as they were sipping champagne and staring in each other's eyes all night. Follow us for more. " i shake my head in disapproval.

"Nothing happened, Bradley. I wanted to leave but Gavin showed up. We were in the same situation, our dates bailed on us", i get up from my chair and walk away from the kitchen. Brad scoffs behind me and follows me.

"Stop blaming me for that", he says and sits down on the couch next to me

"Why not? How many time did you ditch me in the past few months? Almost every time, Brad. This isn't normal. I work my ass off and sometimes i work more than you do, but i don't forget that we're a couple and i don't forget about my boyfriend!", i take a deep breath when I'm finished. Brad's eyes sadden. "I'm sorry, i didn't mean it to sound like that", i look down at my lap, my hands intertwined.

"No, don't be", he takes my hands in his and sighs. "I didn't see things this way, love. I was so focused on coming out with new music that i didn't even realise how many times i ignored us.", he cups my face with his hand.

"It's alright. I just want more time with you, love, please. My upcoming project is going to take me away from home for four months, I'm just trying to spend as much time as i can with you.", he pulls me in a hug and i lay my head in the crook of his neck, kissing him.

"We're gonna be fine, love", he whispers and i raise my head to kiss him. Brad grabs the back of my head and pulls me even closer to him. I push him into the couch and i climb on his lap, never breaking the kiss and he groans when i sit myself on him. I moan when i feel his hard member underneath me. A smirk appears on his face and i kiss it away, his tongue pressing on mine hungrily, pulling on my pj top. I take it off and Brad takes his own t-shirt off, glueing our bodies together and switching positions. He kisses down my jaw and neck, leaving red marks on his way to my exposed chest. He cups both of my breasts and gives them a few squeezes, while his lips leave trails of kisses on my breasts, one at a time.

Brad moves lower, kissing and nibbling at the skin on my stomach, triggering a tickling sensation. I chuckle when he bites on the side of my hips, causing me to rise my hips towards him. The quick touch of my lower half with his upper body causes goosebumps on my skin and i let out a quiet moan, keeping my hips elevated.

"So eager", Brad's words are muffled, his face buried in my skin as he pulls my pj pants down. He smirks and looks at me with darken eyes, the sight of me not wearing any underwear pleasing him. I put on a proud smile.

"I know you love it when there aren't many inconveniences.", i drop my head back on the couch as one of his fingers massages my clit.

"I wish i had you naked around the house all the time so there weren't any inconveniences.", he adds more pressure while drawing small circles, quiet whimpers from me giving him all the assurance he needs that he's doing a great job. Brad stops his action and drags his finger down to my entrance. "So wet for me, love.", he pushes hus finger inside just a little bit, making my body squirm underneath him. "Fuck, the power you have over me is insane, baby", he pushes his finger all the way in, brushing it over my g-spot. I moan after every pump and the pleasure intensifies as Brad's lips start sucking on my clit. He sucks it, licks it and massages it, making my legs shake because of all the pleasure and pressure i feel between my legs.

"Oh, fuck, this feels incredible", i praise out of breath and i feel a smile creeping on Brad's face. As i feel like I'm getting close, he gets back up on his feet, taking off his pj pants and grey boxers, that were already soaking in his precum. I bite my bottom lip when he's fully naked, his size never failing to surprise me. Somehow, i never feel prepared to take him.

"I love you staring at me like that, but i don't have the patience today, babe", his voice a little raspy, i only open my legs as an invitation to hurry things up. "I'm so going to ruin you right now", as a promise, he gets back between my legs and holds himself up by one of my knees, while his other hand guides himself closer to me. He pumps himself a few times and i groan, the action making me go crazy in moments like this. Both of us on the edge, horny and ready to let go of our frustration in the best possible way.

Brad pushes the tip of his dick inside me, the little stretch causing me to gasp. He pushes more and more, little by little giving me time to adjust to him before he leans in all the way in. I moan loudly and i grab onto his shoulders as he starts pounding into me hard and fast. One of my hands stays on his shoulder while the other one is in his curls. His head drops in the crook of my neck, his hands pinning me down onto the couch. His grip on my hips intensifies with every thrust of his hips in mine and i embrace the pleasure and the slight pain. Brad's breath is fast and his movements are desperate and i wrap my legs around his waist to give him a better angle.

"Oh My God", i gasp and i hold on to the cushion underneath me. "Fuck, Bradley", i pull on his curls and raise his head so i could kiss him. Our kisses are messy and sloppy and we bite on each other's lips. Brad grabs the armrest of the couch and picks up his speed.

"I'm so close", he almost whispers and rests his forehead on mine. I nod slightly.

"Me too"

He groans and moves his hand from my hips higher up, grabbing me from the sides of my ribcage, his thrusts getting harder. Soon after, the familiar feeling of my orgasm getting closer takes over my body. My legs shake and my back arches off the bed, which gives Brad the opportunity to wrap hus arms around me. He rides my high, cuming with a loud groan and scratching the skin on my back. I feel his dick pulsing inside of me as he stays on top of me to regain his strength.

"That felt so good", he whispers out of breath

"I know, right?", i smile and try to catch my breath as well.

"I love you and I'm sorry i didn't realise what i was doing by not showing up for dates.", Brad kisses my forehead and looks me in the eyes, one of his hands playing with a strand of hair.

"I love you too and I'm sorry i didn't talk to you about this sooner. I hope you know i didn't replace you yesterday"

"Of course i know. People just have a way with words", we both chuckle at his statement. "Let's go get you all cleaned up", he gets up from the couch and hurries to get me a towel. Brad helps me clean myself up and we walk into the bathroom together. He gets the bathtub ready, throwing in a bath bomb and my favourite bath foam. He helps me get inside the tub, making sure i don't slip. Brad disappears from the bathroom and then comes back in a glimpse, holding his speaker and his phone. He plays a chill playlist and i motion him to get in with me.

I press my back on his chest and he starts massaging my sides, adding pressure on my hips, a place where he knows i love some attention when it comes to having massages.

After the water cooled down, we step out of the tub and dry ourselves before going back to our bedroom. Breakfast long forgotten, Brad and i turn on the tv and play a comedy movie on Netflix. He pulls me on his side, my head resting on his chest, our hands intertwined in his stomach. Brad kisses the top of my head and i look up at him to kiss his lips.

"I love moments like this. I'm so lucky i have you", he whispers and runs his free hand up and down my arm, in a soothing manner.

"Me too, I'm also lucky to have you, you're everything i ever wished for", i smile up at him and he closes the gap between us again.

#brad simpson #brad simpson imagine #brad simpson smut #the vamps #the vamps imagine #the vamps smut

[throwaway-yandere]

ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴀɴsʏ-ᴛᴇᴀ

“𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐢𝐳𝐞𝐬. 𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐲𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐦, 𝐀𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐞. 𝐀 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐢𝐞𝐥𝐝𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐬 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐬.”

— Researcher Astrilde's (deceased) husband, log of event ███-K19.

Starting February 14: I will no longer answer asks about myself. As much as possible, I do not want to be perceived. Over the past year, I feel as though I'm treated less like a human being and more of a content machine. Some of these experiences include...

Receiving a casual death threat.

Getting NSFW asks when I have repeatedly stated my asexuality.

Bombardment of constant requests for fic continuations, only to be at the end of radio silence once it is published.

Glossing over genuine requests for mental health stability. I'm aware Tumblr is not my therapist, but I still feel icky about the time I begged for someone to talk to me in Morse code only to receive an ask about a yandere idea they had with the language. It's incredibly tone-deaf. Another instance I have felt terrible about is receiving a playful ask (though likely unintentional) about grief when it has been quite obvious through my posts that I find it incredibly difficult to deal with for the past few months.

This perception has taken a toll on my overall well-being, and I find myself yearning for more genuine interactions. I'm already a very lonely person in real life since I'm forced to prioritize my studies over social interactions due to financial instabilities, but Tumblr has begun to feel like a lonesome space for me as well.

If you wish to talk to the person behind the screen & have fun rambling hours with, don't be afraid to DM me. Don't send asks unless it's content related. DM. me. If not, consume the content as you normally would. It's okay. It's very valid of you to do so!

The more I interact, the more I feel like a comedic relief & performer and not a full-pledged "human." I've spent nights without sleep wondering if people who interacted with me truly think of me as a friend. So if you've noticed I talked a lot a week before Feb 14, this is why.

Astrilde ████-████████, better known as "Ansy", is a junior researcher under the Department of Mythology and Folkloristics. They are known for their hands-on explorations of SCP-█████-B, SCP-█████-C ("Teyvat" & the "Astral Express"). Currently on an unpaid vacation.

𝗖𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗿 𝗜𝗻𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻:

𝗔𝗹𝗶𝗮𝘀𝗲𝘀: "Ansy" (@ansy-tea), Retainer An (@ansy-ansy)

𝗢𝗰𝗰𝘂𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: Psychognosis Specialist (yandere writer & artist)

𝗥𝗮𝗻𝗸: Junior Researcher (AR 60, Asia server)

𝗢𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗔𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗹𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻/𝘀: Kingdom of Faerghus (???), Abyss Order (formerly), Kamisato Clan (Ayato & Ayaka main), Stellaron Hunters (Blade main)

𝗔𝗻𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗜𝗻𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻:

𝗦𝘁𝗮𝘁𝘂𝘀: Alive (Age: "19")

𝗖𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘀: Euclid (formerly), mostly neutralized

𝗔𝗻𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗲𝘀: Exhibited "draconic" properties, including scales and bioluminescence. After experiment ███-K19, their 2 sets of eyes are the only visible anomaly that remains.

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