#when im new everything wasnt so bad and it was fucking chaos
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remember that chirstmas eve stream where wilbur fundy and i think jack were drunk off their asses and screaming songs for the entire stream and ranboo afterwards had to deal with a drunk fundy spouting deep shower thoughts in a discord call for a good chunk of his mining stream
#i miss those days#when im new everything wasnt so bad and it was fucking chaos#dream smp#dsmp#mcyt#fundy#itsfundy#wilbur soot#jack manifold#ranboo#fweeet
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hi saint!! i finally managed to find ur askbox open 😂 i love sn and sy and these are some thoughts ive accumulated while reading:
-i feel like yn shouldn‘t have gotten with toji before she resolved the issues with gojo bc look at where we‘re at now
- momjo istg collect ur boobas or ill throw mine. It‘s so annoying at this point how she literally discards gojos horrible treatment towards yn just bc he also went through a hard time, like pls i get shes hurt seeing her son like this but ur son wasnt as peachy as u think either 🥲 im not saying yn choice was the right one but ots very understandable and given her physical condition who wouldn‘t have lets be real. Also lmao the audacity to be mad at yn for leaving when she wasnt any better either.
- sachiro, oh my baby, he‘s so adorable i cant, it‘s sad seeing all the could have beens but at the same time everything is gonna go down so bad and i feel like if yn stayed, it wouldve been similar to this just with a younger sachiro
- ngl but gojohime is driving at 200 kmh and ots hard to figure put what yn is thinking about it. Like is she just saying she isnt feeling anything about it bc of her inner guilt that has been eating at her all this time or is it bc she really doesnt harbor any feelings for gojo anymore. The entire sy situation is fucked up and pls lmao its pure chaos
- u said there will be similar shit to bora bora right, i feel like gojo finding out about yn “cheating” on him with toji is gonna go down real bad i just dont really know which way, like is he gonna call out yn or be like i deserve this, i wasnt any better 😔✋🏻
- also regarding ships and stuff, im the beginning i wouldve died for a gojoxyn ending but it has reached the point where i think both should end up single to move on from their traumas and grow as individuals and then maybe actually go for a rs (with whomever it is) when healed from their issues.
- i really love your writing especially how much thought u put into it and all the effort and even though i prefer angst with a happy ending i cant wait for ur story to evolve and reach the end even though im 110% sure its gonna be filled with angst, thats how much i love it. Keep being amazing saint, wish u happy new year and pls at least gimme ice cream for all the angst thats about to come 🥴✋🏻
wooow thank you for taking the time to write your thoughts about the last ep. honestly just reading this ask makes me realize how messy that sy4 was lmaooo it's literally putting me on edge even tho i'm the writer!
but i'm really glad you enjoyed reading despite their stressful situtation :D shit's just about to go down from here tbh.
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Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s son (Part 2)
Tony Stark x son!reader
warnings:
a/n: had to split it into 2 parts bc i hit the text limit dhshaggags
prompt: continued
part 1
~sokovia was ur first big mission~
“why is y/n here, stark?” -cap
“the first mistake was letting me become a father”
“good god, tony...”
you having the time of your life crushing robots
“WHEEEEEE”
also proving useful by saving avengers a handful of times
“thanks for the assist, stark clone” -clint
rip pietro
rhodey was actually the most worried about you if we’re being honest, he didn’t understand why they let you in this one???
“y/n? y/n, talk to me! are you alive?”
“yes, uncle rhodey! i’m perfect, stop worrying!”
“i love you, kid! be safe!”
✨a good family you’ve got✨
soon the avengers broke up bc your dad cant get along with steve and it was just really awkward
but you chose your dad’s side
“sorry, steve! he pays my allowance!”
peter was actually a little okay, you know!! spazzy at first, but he was cool
“dude, you’re y/n stark! you’re tony stark’s very own son! i’m talking to mr. stark’s only child!”
“yep, that’s me. i’m what earned tony the title of ‘DILF’”
teenage teamup? ofc
“am i doing alright?”
“looking a-okay, pete!”
tony was worried fighting steve would traumatize you so he made you wait at the hotel with happy and peter
“don’t do anything to embarrass me, y/n. i dont want to see you on the news for something stupid”
you and peter ended up hanging out in your room and watching tv and ordering room service
“how do you do that so smoothly? i’d just freak out and go get it myself”
“years of experience as a spoiled rich brat”
absolutely positively being up all night and trying to fight your exhaustion
“you two seem to be getting along well. couldn’t be me” -happy
“for someone named happy, you never seem to be happy”
“not around teenagers, no”
“i remember when you loved me, ‘uncle happy’”
peter texted you every day after that
whenever flash picked on peter for “never meeting tony stark” he’d show a picture of you and him taking selfies in the lab together yes you invite him over much to the dismay of everyone else around you
plus tony was out of town and you were finally trusted enough to be left alone unchecked so like, happy would just leave at the first sign of peter
“that’s not real!”
“jealous?”
you actually showed up for homecoming on a dare (but in disguise)
didn’t wanna attract all the attention, you just wanted a high school experience
but you got called into avengers tower to help move early on :/ bad timing too cuz peter had to fight his first villain and u missed it
“dude, how do you feel?”
“bruh sound effect number two”
“oh my god”
FRIDAY heard him and pulled up the sound and you were WEAK you couldn’t stop laughing
“please....i think i broke a few ribs. cant laugh until tomorrow”
tony offered peter the avengers gig and peter said no, you were very disappointed but u understood that not everyone wanted to be in the spotlight like that
but you and peter obviously still hung out
oh, tony proposed! they interviewed you on sight!
“y/n, how does it feel to know that you’re going to have a stepmom soon?”
“you guys are aware that pepper helped raise me, right? right?!”
moving on, life was smooth for a while, there was some wedding planning, talk of you being a best man (which rhodey fought you on)
“no, i’ve known your dad longer!”
“i’m his son!”
i n v a s i o n
oh boy that was rough
bruce was surprised that you had fucking grown so much in the past 3 years good lord
“y/n...your VOICE”
“puberty, i know. when’s it gonna happen to you?”
“it hurts more when it’s from a teenager”
“uh, did you forget my birthday?”
peter’s back! peter’s back!
finally, man
“spider-kid, i could use an assist!”
“on the way!”
“aliens, why did it have to be aliens?”
up up and away for tony and peter, leaving you on the ground with all the earthly chaos and fear
“you two are the absolute worst, you know that? DAD, PETER, GET BACK DOWN HERE”
“no can do, kid. i—” *cuts off*
“oh great, no service on the space donut, huh? find a damn wifi password and call me back you asshole”
pepper was probably having a heart attack bc the news stations were having a field day but you were one of the only active avengers left, meaning you had to help clean this up
“bruce, we gotta get going”
“what? where?”
“upstate”
patching up the avengers as best as you could to take care of the threat
but you guys always win, this should be a cake walk, right?
wrong.
this was bad, very bad
after a lengthy battle with thanos in wakanda, you had failed. thanos got the stones, he snapped. the world was in ruins. but you didn’t get to see that part
you dusted away
“tell dad i’m sorry and i love him”
tony finally came back to earth hoping to see you, but upon seeing pepper’s face, he knew you were gone
“he did everything he could, tony! he didn’t deserve it!”
she was extremely upset, she saw you like a son of her own
soon, her and tony restarted their life and had a daughter, dad always wondered what it’d be like to have a little girl. it was different, it really was
she was eager to meet you
morgan stole pictures of you to hang up in her room
“when i meet y/n, im gonna give him a big hug! then we’ll have a tea party!”
tony has a picture of you and peter in the kitchen, he misses the two of you, but found comfort in the fact that you may be with each other
an ounce of hope, he had to try something
save his only son, and his other son
when he got to 2012, he was disappointed that he hadn’t let you become an avenger yet because he couldn’t see you here
yada yada he fucked up now he’s in the 70s and he fixed the fuck up and now hes in 2023
and bruce snapped
and you were all brought back and the way you kicked ass was inspiring
tony had to see his son now. right now.
“y/n, dear god! you’re okay! oh, man. i love you so much, kid. i missed you”
“i love you too. and i can’t believe you went to space without me, meanie”
“get over it”
ah, back to old times
peter and you obviously had to team up for this one! come on, what a story to tell!
and then, a snap and the warriors began to fade. you turned around and saw him on his knees
“no...”
you rushed over to where peter already was and tried to hold back tears, to be strong for him
“hey, dad. i’m here. no more missed goodbyes, okay? i’m here.”
you sat beside him and held his hand while the rest of your family made their peace with him and he finally slipped away
“y/n...are you okay?” -peter
“not even a little”
peter was worried about you, but you were worried about peter
mutual worry
meeting morgan was...surprising
pepper forgot to tell you they had a daughter while you were gone
she was so sweet and for the first month you lived at the cabin, she slept in your room
you got NO space
“i love you y/n”
“love you too” *thinking about dad bc she just reminds you of him so much*
“i love you y/n”
“love you too, morgan”
over and over
peter and you had sleepovers a lot, usually at his house bc you were the only one besides ned allowed over bc of all the spider-stuff
ned fanboyed over you
also sleepovers at peter’s were a nice break from being at tony’s cabin where you were constantly reminded that he wasn’t there
“y/n, i’m going to europe for a field trip! it’s gonna be awesome!”
“dude, you’re gonna love it. are you bringing your suit?”
“no, this is my offical vacation. no spider-manning”
“good for you, man!”
peter sent you all the pictures he took on his phone
all of them
Peter-Man: And this one is me and Ned in our crappy hotel room. And here’s the river. And here’s MJ covered in birds, and here’s the airplane, Mr. Harrington fell asleep on me
you had to come to europe once you heard what was going on
happy and you picked up peter and he was a mess
“you gave away dad’s glasses?”
“i think we’re past the point that i am not smart”
“jesus, peter. you should have called me about them. i would have taken them off your hands if you weren’t ready for them”
having to make sure that you guys didn’t get hurt bc this was honestly your guy’s first solo pair-up
there wasnt much backup here
finally, you defeated the evil (who apparently held a very large grudge against you. sorry mister beck) and were able to go back home
“call me if you need anything, pete”
“i will. i promise.”
and the next thing you know...peter’s identity was exposed
“i left him alone for one day!”
taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiant // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm //
#tony stark x son!reader#tony stark x child!reader#tony stark imagine#tony stark x reader#tony stark#stark!reader#stark!son#dad!tony#iron dad#iron man#iron man x son!reader#iron man x male reader#iron man imagine#marvel#marvel x reader#marvel imagine#avengers#avengers x reader#avengers imagine#peter parker x stark!reader#peter parker x reader#peter parker x male reader#peter parker#peter parker imagine#spiderman x stark!reader#spiderman#spiderman x male!reader#spiderman imagine
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Okay so I just realised it’s 4:40am ... (I’m nowhere near finished and it’s 5:50am)
Anyway. So I’ve got some of my favourites here for anyone who decided to come and join me :P these are in no particular order by the way :,)
A Pair of Idiots in Love
Words: 71,190 Works:7
Series summary: a bunch of really really cute (and slightly smutty) shorts about Harry and Louis and them living life to the fullest... in lockdown.
Note: I absolutely love this series, I think I’ve read it fifteen times over and it never gets boring. The balance of fluff and smut is so just *cheffs kiss*. I’m yet to read the seventh short actually, but I can’t wait to do so. I’d definitely recommend it to anyone who loves fluff (and smut) as much as me :)
Tags: I mean it’s a series so there are so many tags, I feel really bad for not putting them on here but it takes me ages. Anyway. There’s a lot of smut and a lot of fluff, some jealousy, petty fighting and just like tooth-rotting amounts of fluff but I’ve already said that :)
https://archiveofourown.org/series/2056104
Your mess is mine
Words:176723 Chapters:20/20
Summary: Louis is the father to the most brilliant little boy in the world who is all Louis really needs, or at least that's what he tells himself. Harry is a gorgeous boybander fresh off a two year break and a massive scandal that's left him a little broken and more than ready to move on. They fall in love.
Note: THIS NGKSKWKRKW SORRY MY GAY IS SHOWING BUT I CANT. I have a thing for single dad fics idk but it was just so p e r f e c t. You know? And like- ugh just- I’m gonna go read it again. ALSO NOAH IS THE CUTEST THING EVER PLEASE.
On a serious note however, I was really hesitant to read this at first. I hate angsty fics and scandals just scream sadness but honestly? You’d be slightly stupid not to read it. I loved it so much and god the angst is so little you barely even notice it!! Really would recommend to literally anyone.
Tags: Kid Fic, Famous Harry, Ordinary Louis, Fluff and Angst, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Past Drug Use, Single Dad, Louis Falling In Love, Non-Famous Louis, Friends to Lovers, Journalist Louis, Family Fluff, Pet Names, an abundance of pet names
https://archiveofourown.org/works/3426800/chapters/7508540
Through Eerie Chaos
Words:102,104 Chapters:5/5
Summary: The Ghost Hunter AU where Niall lives to prove ghosts are real, Zayn is a skeptical librarian and Harry gets caught up in a century-old mystery and catches feeling in the process.
Note: WHEN I TELL YOU THERE WERE TEARS.
God this fic- I sobbed through most of it I’m not going to lie. I am telling you all it was so worth it because the ending had me crying happy tears but g o d UGH I REALLY CANT IT IS SO GOOD
Tags: Alternate Universe-Ghost Hunters, Ghost Hunters Alternate Universe, Fantasy Alternate Universe, Historical Alternate Universe, 1920s Aristocracy, Haunted Houses, Haunted Manor, Supernatural Elements, Supernatural Investigation, Historical Inaccuracy, Typical Homophobia, Arranged Marriage, Slow Burn, Fluff and Angst, liam Ghost, Aristocrat Louis Tomlinson, Photographer Harry Styles, Ghost Hunter Niall Horan, Librarian Zayn Malik
https://archiveofourown.org/works/10875072/chapters/24160332 - JUST QUICKLY!! IM SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE BUT YOU NEED AN AO3 ACCOUNT :(- if anyone can’t get one I’ll be happy to help sort something out!!
knock knock, i love you
Words: 86,066 Chapters: 4/4
Summary: Harry and Louis get kicked out of a statistics exam for passing a knock knock joke note, and subsequently fall in love. Harry's a virgin, there's a cat, a hot cocoa date, a lot of sex, even more knock knock jokes, and everything is lovely and happy.
Notes: I think we’re getting a theme here but this fic was so absolutely unbelievably fluffy I cried from a sweetness overload more than once. It is quite literally a vanilla fic at its finest and I am honest to god in love with it. Anyone who likes a lot of smut would love this and there was nothing overly kinky in there so yeah :,D
Tags: fluff, Alternate Universe aCollege/University, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Anal Sex, First Time, Rimming, Dirty Talk, Banter, Knock-Knock Jokes, No Angst, Virgin Harry, Bottom Harry, Hot Cocoa, Date, Spooning, Come play, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Halloween, a cat named Sushi, Masturbation, Flirting
https://archiveofourown.org/works/8342227/chapters/19110898
driving instructor fic
Words: 104,935 works: 2
Summary: the AU where Louis is a 25-year-old driving instructor and Harry is a 17-year-old virgin who's really awful at seduction, except for the time he gets Louis to fall for him and fuck him senseless and take him on kinky adventures.
Note: THIS WAS SOME KINKY SHIT AND I HAD TO STEAL EVERYONES HOLY WATER TO MAKE MYSELF FEEL BETTER. I admittedly didn’t read the second part because I’m not really one for threesomes, not really my thing lmao but THE FIRST PART... I was on the edge of my bed for the entire thing because of the constant t e n s i o n. It was just amazingly written and I fell in love with it :]
Tags: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, side Zayn/Perrie, side Niall/BARBARA PALVIN YES, Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles, Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, Perrie Edwards, 17!Harry/25!Louis, age gap, dom!Louis/sub!Harry, Daddy Kink, Virgin Kink, Bondage, breath play, Exhibitionism, collaring, Sex Toys, Barebacking, Overstimulation Orgasm Denial, Subspace, Kink ,Negotiation, Spanking, Dirty Talk, Possessiveness, Facials Marking
P.s. reading over the tags now.. fookin hell I don’t remember it being that bad gnjejejq I swear (this is what I get for not reading the tags lmao)
https://archiveofourown.org/series/86149
Crave
Words: 90,765 Chapters:11/11
Summary: All eyes are on Louis Tomlinson to bring new talent to save Hanover Records from the mess the previous executive left behind. His newest artist, Harry Styles, is charismatic and everything Louis needs to revive the label. It’s up to Louis and his team to make Harry the star he was born to be. When Harry and Louis come face to face, it isn’t the first time they’ve met, and their worlds are about to be turned upside down.
Note: so I often get this mixed up with another on this list (walk on the ocean) but I think that’s just because of how they first meet? Maybe.. I’m not sure. But anyway. What I’m trying to say is that these two are probably my favourite two which is absolutely bonkers considering the slight angst in both of them (if y’all hadn’t already picked up, I hate angsty fics) but g o d it’s so g o o d. And like- UGH THE ENDING NFKSKRJRW
Tags: Strangers, BDSMDom/sub, Bondage, CEO Louis, Musician Harry, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Sexual Tension, mentions of Simon Cowell, Daddy Kink, Sub Harry, Dom Louis, Kink Negotiation, Friends With Benefits, Nipple Play, Nipple Clamps, Sexting, Phone Sex, Cock Rings, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Blow Jobs, Rimming, Anal Sex, Face-Fucking, Spanking, Riding, Top Louis, Top Harry, Bottom Harry, Bottom Louis, Multiple Orgasms, Begging, Handcuffs, Panties, Collars, Barebacking, Butt Plugs, Anal Fingering, Biting, Painplay, Aftercare, Subspace, Subdrop, Hair-pulling, Light Angst, Switching, Rope Bondage, Public Sex, Exhibitionism, Sex Club, Kink Discovery, Kink Exploration, Dirty Talk, Happy Ending, Blindfolds, Teasing, Feathers & Featherplay, Spreader Bars, Coming Untouched ... so I didn’t realise the stuff I read was this bad h a
https://archiveofourown.org/works/12951438/chapters/29604861
walk on the ocean
Words:26,099 Chapters:5/5
Summary: Harry is an on the rise rock star. Louis is as far from the music scene as a famous producer's son can get. They meet and everything changes.
Note: again, I was really hesitant to read this one, I feel the summary doesn’t do it justice. The fic itself left me gobsmacked for the rest of the day, it was just written so well, it’s hard not to like [love]. It’s nowhere near as kinky as “crave” but it has its moments. I think that the angst got me a bit, but I didn’t shed too many tears and all in all it was just such a good read.
Tags: Surfer!Louis, Singer Harry, Louis has daddy issues, Minor Character Death, a wee bit of angst, Smut, Bottom Louis, Top Harry, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, the ocean
I also love this person right now because there aren’t that many tags :,,)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/7969168/chapters/18228733
Bite My Lip and Close My Eyes (Take Me Away to Paradise)
Words:3,937 Chapters:1/1
Summary: Or the one where Harry goes on the date from hell only to return home to find he’s not alone in his desire to wank over his room mate
Note: now it wouldn’t be a favourite list without the one very e x t r e m e l y shameful wank fic in there. Honestly there’s not much to say. It’s written really well and that’s that :). Not really because it’s kinky asf and I’m dying
Tags: Friends to Lovers, Roommates, 19 years old Harry, 21 years old Louis, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Voyeurism, Exhibitionism
We’re What’s Right In This World
Words: 48,809 Chapters: 16/16
Summary: Or the World War II AU where Harry goes off to fight and all Louis wants to do is be the boy who brings him home.
Note: I DIDNT WANT TO READ THIS. THEN I DID. I CRIED A LOT. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL. I CRIED A LOT MORE. IT WAS SAD. IT WAS EVEN MORE SAD. THEN IT STARTED GETTING BETTER. THEN IT WASNT BETTER AND IT WAS SAD AGAIN. But it’s fine because the ending was so prefect it fixed my heart to a point of which I watched all of my sad Larry tiktoks without crying once :) (or maybe it broke me.. I’m not sure)
Tags: World War II, Alternate Universe - Historical, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blind Louis, Soldier Harry, Frottage, Blow Jobs, Rimming, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Period-Typical Homophobia
https://archiveofourown.org/works/12211689/chapters/27734604
Okay I’m going to leave it there for now. It’s just gone six in the morning and I’m yet to go to sleep. My asks are always open and I’d love a chat if anyone wants one!! Remember to treat people with kindness. xx
#larry af#ao3 feed larry#larry stylinson#harry styles#louis tomilson#long reads#fanfic#fanfiction#one direction#larry shippers#larry styles#larry fanfic rec#larry fanfiction#larry stylinson fic#larry stylinson fanfiction
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LMAOO I WAS GONNA BRING UP FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLIDER BUT I WASNT SURE IF YOU WERE WATCHING IT HSKAJ (are you liking it? i know it’s only the first episode but ya know, another one tomorrow night- well tomorrow night for me, and did you like wandavision?? i loved it!!)
oh my goodness i’m watching lion king while writing this and i haven’t seen it in a while and i am..... emotional. but anyway, i love that streaming services think that imma pay for them while they charge $50 a month. like yes of course i have that kind of money and i am going to give it to you to watch tv 🙄 that $50 is budgeted to sims thank you. (ALSO SIMS!!! i’ll get to that in a minute) now see if i don’t google levidia right this minute LMAOO, not that i’m gonna use it.. just for the research...
AND HDKSHS SEND THAT CHAOS WALKING LINK LMAO i saw it for the third time with a different one of my friends and she wasn’t the best one to see it with? she literally was on her fucking phone and i was like ok whatever her loss not mine, and idk if you’ve read the books or if you’ve seen it by now, but by the end of the whole movie, after they’ve confirmed THE THING throughout the whole movie she asked the dumbest question and i’m like diD YOU NOT WATCH THE MOVIE, and i guess she didn’t. so. this sounds so vague but i don’t wanna spoil the movie for you just in case lol.
THE STORY LMAOO, so A DIFFERENT FRIEND LOL, like my oldest bff, we had a day together and we wanted to go see chaos walking. and i honest to God thought that no one would be seeing this movie. like NO ONE. every day, i checked the theater seating and no one was there right? plus i really wanted us to have the theater to ourselves. so we sit in the wrong seats, the row in front of us, STILL THINKING WE’RE ALONE. and then these 3 older people came in AND IM ABOUT TO SCREAM FHSJSH AND IM LIKE “are we in your seats?” and they we were like uh yeah, AND IT WAS SO BAD LMAOO , we’re moving and everything would’ve been FINE but my friend’s reclined seat was going down so slow and as it’s going shes LITERALLY SAYING ALOUD “awkward awkward awkward” so she thinks forget it, lemme just get up. HER BAG GETS CAUGHT ON HER CHAIR AND HER FRIES AND THEY SPILL ALONG WITH HER HONEY MUSTARD 😭😭 ALL OVER THE FLOOR! so i’m trying not to laugh lmao but those aren’t even our seats and we just made a mess, so naturally, i get on the floor and start cleaning it up with my napkins (this is going for too long) AND MY FRIEND IS STILL SAYING “awkward awkward awkward awkward” and i’m really abt to crack up bECAUSE LIKE SHUT UP HAHAHA and we’re cleaning it and shit and the oldest lady is gonna say “yeah you’re not gonna make an old lady get on the floor, are you?” AND I WANTED TO LAUGH AND SCREAM AT THE SAME TIME BC DID WE ASK YOU TO, NO, so then i had to get the manager and she helped us clean it, we got new fries and everything was fine, it’s just a crazy story bc LITERALLY WE COULDVE AVOIDED IT AND EVERYTHING BUT THESE ELDERLY PEOPLE HAD TO COME AND SEE THIS MOVIE😭😭 at least the gentlemen was nice.. he helped us clean. but then his wife was like “i aM nOt siTTiNg tHeRe” and at first i thought she was a teenager bc of her stink attitude but her husband was nice. and it’s not like we weren’t cleaning it up, we were!!! like i was so apologetic- anyway.
about sims! do you play console or pc? wait,, you already told me you play pc bc your computer was broken, i’m glad you can play now though :’)) litetally when i read in the tags that you’re playing sims !!!! and are you hyped for bunk beds? i have cc so i’ve had them for a bit, but they were glitchy... but i’m so excited we have them now! i should really play sims today...
GURL IM SO PROUD OF YOU 🥺🥲 i know you aren’t fluent in everything and you aren’t a linguistic genius LMAO but it’s still soooo amazing :’) here i am reading the captions while ur just going hahah, yea i tried duolingo but.... i didn’t stick to it HDJSH talking to you though makes me so interested because you know all these languages, not even studying them like that, but you have this foundation and ahh it’s just super cool. LOL YOU DONT SOUND LAME HAJA IM TELLING YOU ITS SO SO COOL, i’m loving this lesson btw oh my goodness- HSKAJS YOU THOUGHT I WOULD ALREADY KNOW THAT??? HDYSJHS MY ONLY ENGLISH SPEAKING ASS??? HAHAHAHHAH i find that word (Rindfleischetikettie- i’m not gonna write the whole thing i’m sorry) very interesting... like... wow. did you have to google that or did you just know lmao
OKAH THE WATER THING HDKDJDKS UR GONNA TERRIFY ME HAHAH OH MY LORD- first of all CROATIA 😍😍 but thinking about it like that, I WOULD FREAK OUT TOO HAHSGSG i never go that deep into the water, or if i do i have my dad with me lol and i kind of hold onto him bc ive seen/heard too many things about people being dragged into the sea. but i loveee the water (i wanted to be a mermaid soooo bad ohmigosh)
I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW ONE CANNOT LIKE MUSIC ITS AWFUL !! lmao yeah i haven’t even listened to harry’s his first album, everyone says they love it more. I WAS GONNA SAY IMMA LISTEN TO ONLY ANGEL BUT THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE IT HUHAHAH also i have never listened to anything by mgk (i actually had to google who he was IM SORRY😔) i’m tempted to listen tho lol PLEASE JUSTIN BIEBER- I PROMISE IM NOT LAUGHING AT U IVE JUSY NEVER HAD SOMEONE SAY THAT B4!! like i don’t know many people who’ve liked him bUT NOW IM GONNA LISTEN & the cardboard cutout- okay. 😭😭😭
oh my goodness to see the vamps live 🤧 TO SEE ANYONE LIVE PLEASE JJDGSHAHGD and little mix is so good oh my goodness- i actually haven’t been to that many concerts.. i was at my first one, elsie fest (it’s like a broadway thing really) in uhhh october of 2019, yea i took my mom for her birthday bc she loves darren criss and i’m obsessed with glee lmao OH MY GOODNESS YOUVE BEEN TO SO MANY!!! and those are such great artists 😩😩
LMAO UR FINE, hamilton is a musical that lin manuel miranda wrote and i think generally made? i’m obsessed, but basically it was on broadway and then recorded and put on disney+ ... idk i guess it counts a film bc it’s like a movie really cuz it was recorded but in what 2018 or 2016? i don’t remembers the date that is on disney+ but it’s strange how i got into it, a lot of my friends were obsessed and i was like uhh why? and while researching it and watching it, trying to figure out why people love it... i fell in love with it LMAO but the music is FANTASTIC and lin is incredible😭 but yes yes yes i loveeeee high school musical!! my dad actually took my cousins to see it on ice or something (i absolutely forget lmao) but i don’t know how people don’t know hsm. it upsets me.
OKAY IM DOWN TO THE BOTTOM HAHAHA (it takes me so long to respond, now i’m on lion king 2 WHICH IS SO GOOD PLEASE FHHSSHHSHSH) i could respond in chunks but i kind of enjoy responding like this? it feels a bit like a letter but if this whole thing is overwhelming i’ll cut it up lol
+ yes that was me about your fic and sleep and everything lol but it was so good😭 i don’t understand how you write peter so well like you have this ability to capture his.. everything? i’m crine. all the time. over your fics. & i cannot describe my happiness for youuuu :’) i’m so happy you’re writing again 🥺🥰 the thing about how you only want to write the long peter fic but you don’t know how to continue... i feel that so so so hard, i don’t think i told you but ughh i was so blah bc of that feeling of having pent up inspiration for only one fucking thing and not being able to write it. it’s so frustrating 😭
not to add more to this but i need to vent a bit? the situation is definitely different bc with your major it obviously requires for you to ya know, know english lol, but uhm bc i’m homeschooled ive been cheating on all my work SHSHDHSJ like i google the answers but i’m still learning! it’s just..... i find it so unnecessary, like going for an audition no one is gonna say to me “i want you to chanel the knowledge within yourself of the centripetal force of the circle that is the table on this stage” like tf??? there’s literally no point. i’m gonna be getting into voice lessons again soon and i’m already doing dance, AND i’ll be doing this summer camp program (more hamilton lol) and thinking about school is only making me stress more, like i haven’t been able to rehearse dance at all this week bc of it...... so
hahaha reading your tags, lonely anon would still be accurate HAHAHHAHA // another add: yea i love ur current theme, i’ve gotten used to “seeing you” like this, but anything will look super pretty :)) ALSO HOW IS IT STILL SNOWING THERE, i swear it’s getting warmer and warmer by the day here 😭🤧
these long ass posts, my gosh🥲 lonely lovely anon <3
Omg yes it does feel like a letter sldkdj and then the few days of waiting also make more sense okay i love this ❣️💕❤️💓❤️💞🧡💜💘(wtf)sksjhz
Dear lovely anon,
ALSKSJVKD yes i‘m liking falcon and winter soldier dlkdh i haven‘t watched the second episode yet but i‘ll watch it tomorrow! but i didn‘t watch wandavision........ eidislskks i was going to but idk i wasn‘t that interested in it and watching series is already too much of a commitment (what can i say i‘m a Sagittarius—🤧 (no i’m joking i actually know NOTHING about starsigns)) didjj that i couldn‘t force myself to watch it, ALSO i hate (idk if this is an unpopular opinion) when every episode is like a whole hour. i‘m rewatching an old series today (it‘s german so i won‘t even get into it) and the episodes are 25 mins each and i‘ve already watched 8 episodes today ridlndjdjd,,, and i feel like if the episodes were an hour each i wouldn‘t have gotten past episode 2 today like idk.... even if series had the same length in total, i prefer when the individual episodes are shorter idk why tho tbh (so yeah i already wasn‘t 100% convinced about watching wandavision so i just couldn’t make myself watch a bunch of 1hour episodes— i‘ve heard that it‘s good tho- but i‘m not much of a series person so. Dldkk (have we talked about this already??? sorry i don‘t remember what i said lol and i couldn‘t find my own post anymore so dkdjsh) (WAIT I JUST CHECKED THE WANDAVISION EPIOSRDES ARENT EVEN THAT LONG??? Okay wait i might watch it now - did you like it? let me know if i should watch it— why did i think they were 60minutes???)
okay another confession i‘ve never watched the lion king????? i mean i watched it when i was a child but i was too young to actually pay attention to any kind of plot i just liked the songs lol sldkdj i‘ve been meaning to watch it for years tho 🦁 (idk it just felt appropriate to put a lion emoji lmoaoo)
OH MY GOD THE CHAIS WALKING/CINEMA STORY AHSJSKKS😭😭😭😭 NOOOOO (very fitting that there was so much chaos when you were watching a film that has chaos in the title loool) and the “awkward awkward awkward“ SAME SKSKSLSKDJ, that‘s literally me 24/7 ahajshshhshshsh. Like i was so skdjdjdkdllsldksnsnsnsb while i read what you sent me djslslsjdjdbdn why are old ladies always so grumpy btw 🥲🥲🥲 at least the man was nice tho! and wait did i read that right... you have fries (which, to me, are called chips dusuusldk) at your cinemas?? (Movie theatres sorry sksjsh) we just have popcorn and nachos and drinks i want chips too when i‘m watching a film what😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺
Also i still haven’t watched it so thanks for not spoiling it!!! (idk when i’ll watch it i’m so bad with films and even worse with series💀💀💀- same with cherry. i literally forgot all about cherry, i was SO hyped when the trailer came out like i’ve never been so excited about a movie... and then it came out... and i still haven‘t watch it like what‘s wrong with me???? Dkdjdjdjdklsl i feel like i‘m not gonna watch it anytime soon tbh, but i wanna watch chaos walking i just have to find the time
Okay and @ your other friend who wasn‘t paying attention like why are you even watching the film then???? but ok (omg this sounds so mean i‘m sure she‘s very nice but in this situation just like❔❔❔)
SIMS ahhh, BUNK BEDS, ahhhh sdljdjdjdkdkdldksj i actually haven‘t played it since the update 🤧🤧 i made both of my sims (enisa (bestselling author already, thank you) and michael (aspiring doctor)) go to university and bro it takes so long 😭😭 and you can‘t do anything else if you want them to do well so literally the last three times i played sims i was just constantly clicking their homework and computerd to write their assignments (i play it in german so idk what its called on the sims) and do their presentations and do them all over again so that they get better or whatever for HOURS, but imma play again soon
also i‘m living my fanfiction life loool, so i made my two sims neighbours (on the same plot tho but i made two small separate houses lol, i still wanted to control both of them at the same time but i made sure they didn‘t interact before i wanted them to skdjdjdk). and first they both experimented and got some experience in the love department you know (all genders, cause i have to live my sexuality even in a pc game slskdjh— wait, i‘ve never lived my sexuality irl like i‘ve done NOTHING nothing with guys nothing with girls (🥲) but maybe that’s why i want to do it even more in the sims) and then they met at uni and realised like hey we‘re neighbours and now they‘re together (but michael accidentally had an alien baby with another woman (who was an alien which i was not aware of) cause i wasn‘t paying attention like i said woohoo not try for baby like michael why is your pull out game so weak tf LSHDDHDJDJSKKDKSKDKS okay but making out and flirting and doing all the fun stuff in the sims turns me on way more than it should PFAHAHHAHSH) so idk why i told you this but I’m creating that neighbour!au in the sims lmaoooo
i did not have to google Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsübertragungsaufgabengesetz (just did it again😌 sisjshhs) but i might have mixed up the words überwachung und übertragung or i might have even forgotten a word skskks but in the end it doesn‘t matter (by linkin park- ok i‘m so sorry it‘s 2 am and i have a headache from having waveformers in my hair all day but i still wanted to reply to this now so sorry if i‘m not making any sense right nowbahahshah)
i wanted to be a mermaid too dldjdksksj like h2O and all those series convinced me i could be one like. i remember i‘d always go in the deep pool and attempt to swim like them in all the series with that wave motion i must have looked so crazy with my goggles as well dkdjsksöksj (i was like twelve but still)
so mgk has two sides one is hip hop/rap which is like ~~~~ idk he has good and bad songs, but his latest album is like punk pop snd I LOVE IT SO SO SO SO SO MUCH, so if you like punk pop I’d recommend his album tickets to my downfall (i don‘t blame yoj if you don‘t like it tho like about a year ago i would have HATED that type of music dkdkdkkd)🥴
Okay talking about music, there‘s this german rapper and he is... not a good person. he‘s literally a criminal and extremely sexist but to me he‘s still hot???????? he‘s even cute at times even tho he has tattoos everywhere and is like 6‘5 and is super aggressive but i see him and i‘m like 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 my heart beats only for you💘💘💘💘and he released a new song today and i watched the video and i‘m wondering wtf is wrong with me 😃 (he did look particularly cute cause he was high so idk he wasn’t really aggressive in this one) 😭 so i thought i‘d share that LMAO IDK
(not saying tattoos aren‘t cute btw i LOVE tattoos imma get some soon, but you know he looks like someone your grandma would be afraid of (and in his case rightfully so💀)
okay wait i‘m getting so tired it‘s 2 am i think i‘ll have to do the rest tomorrow but i wanted to do it now😭🥺🥺 see you tomorrow
it is now 3:42 am and i couldn‘t sleep so here we go again
girl you can laugh at me for liking justin tho skskks i wanna laugh at myself idk, like i said i really really really liked him a few years go, basically my life was at least 50% justin and then he went on a break for a while and released an album last year which i hated 🥴 but this album is wow. (Still weird to me because it‘s literally the definition of pop and i don‘t ever listen to pop?) and it‘s so weird because i used to know so much about justin and had so many friends who loved him as well and now it‘s like I’m listening to someone new? Don‘t get me wrong i never KNEW justin and i never will and i‘m aware of that shahsh but yeah i used to be soooo used to him and it‘s like reconnecting with an old friend and you realise you don‘t know that friend anymore- like you don‘t know them anymore at all. I mean justin is weird nowadays 😂😂😂 so pls laugh at me tbh dskksjsjsh
awww it‘s so wholesome that you gave your mom tickets to the concert 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i gave my mum tickets for pink like 2 years ago and she loved it so much and i was like 🥰🥰🥰 (i went with her) AND OMG GLEE ok so unfortunately i barely remember glee, but i used to watch it too!!!! And it‘s actually on my list of series i wanna watch (again) so youre making me want to watch it even more (but like i said i‘m bad with series so 😩😩😩 who knows when i‘ll rewatch it)
When all this pandemic shit is over (let‘s be hopeful <3333) then you need to go to as many concerts as possible!!!!! i‘ve been to SO MANY and it‘s literally one of the things in my life i‘m the most grateful for, concerts are some of the best experiences i‘ve ever had in my life especially the ones that are in smaller concert halls where you can feeeel the vibe and everyone‘s energy (and that sounds awful thinking about it mid-pandemic 😐) anyway—
Okay omg you‘re absolutely making me want to watch hamilton right now like omg i WANT TO WATCH IT NOW but it‘s 4 am sodndkdldl
what you said about my peter fics🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺like omg i love these emojis they literally just describe how i felt when reading what you said so, yes, 🥰🥺 + thank you :) it really means a lot <3
and no omg i totally get the studying thing. like last year before i graduated .. was that last year? yes wtf omg okaykdjdj, so the last three months before i had my final exams we were just in a lockdown and we didn‘t even have online classes. We had nothing except one teacher who left our group chat (😭) because she was mad at us (?) and one maths teacher who did an online ““lesson““ once a week. he‘d ask: so does anyone have questions. us: . Him: okay, bye then. So. Yeah dndldldj. But we had one online test and it was in german and like i read the book wee were supposed to read? but the questions on the test were all unanswerable (is that a word?) and i had to google everything (got an A tho 🤪 but only because i googled everything so i was so scared that i wouldn‘t be able to get a good result on the final exam because what if i‘d gotten used to just googling everything and i couldn‘t do it by myself anymore? anyway it was all fine in the end but yeah at times i couldn‘t even study because i had so much anxiety about studying and yeah- like this whole annoying cycle. but you said you‘re still studying———- okay wait 👁👄👁 i forgot what i was going to say??????????????????????????????????????????????????? Like wtf. Is wrong with me? And i‘m reading what you wrote again and i just don‘t know what i was going to say? Like i get what you‘re saying obviously but i‘m like? Idk 4am brain ayeee, please vent more if you need to and elaborate further because right now i‘m???? Too dumb to respond to this right now wtf. I‘m so sorry lmao ddlkdjdjd what is even going on like i‘m sitting here open mouthed just like ? But btw the fact that you have Voice and dance lessons is like SO FUCKING COOL like oh my god that is sosososos cool wtf, i was thinking that when you first talked about it too
And “i want you to chanel the knowledge within yourself of the centripetal force of the circle that is the table on this stage” ODHDKSLDBDJDOFIDKDNDLDK
Yes i know about the weather dkdkdkjd but it‘s getting (a lot) warmer here too and where i live we kind of get a weird type of wind called föhn (which literally means hair dryer but idk if that‘d the reason why it‘s called that, i‘m too tired to think of whether it makes sense rn) and it gives me headachesssssss and the changing weather is also giving me headaches 😭😭😭😭 so this season right now is just headache season and i hate summer so i wish it would just snow again lmao (okay it‘s getting so late that it‘s early already snd i can hear this bird chirping so fucking loud wtf i‘m also getting a headache 🤧🤧🤧) but at least i can do my new theme soon (i hope it‘ll look good🥺 and omg thank you for what you said about my current theme- i always feel like i‘m so bad with aesthetics, i obviously like my theme but i feel like every single person on tumblr has a theme that is prettier than mine so it was very nice to hear you say that you love it👉🏼👈🏼 (i‘m so used to it by now that i actually hate it lmao so it‘s getting yeeted soon and i‘m making megan thee stallion my pfp 🤪 (if the graphics and shit works out skdjdjdj)
#lovely anon#<333#okay its so late now i dont wanna post it now in case i‘m too tired to notice losds of mistakes#but i also wanna post it now so.#*loads#i‘m posting it#and i absolutely do not mind if you answer like this!!!! but if you ever do feel like it‘s too much or you uust want to respond to one thing#in particular sooner then pls go ahead! <3
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Bro I must get the lore on Cyril and Ignitus. How did they get together? Why did they decide to have a kid (specifically for the prophecy if I read right)? When did their relationship start going wrong? And, most importantly, is there going to be a parent-trap style subplot to try and get them back together?
OH THIS IS A DELICIOUS ASK THANK U OMG
okay so i actually, admittedly, have way more of this thought out than i should bc i dedicated hours of my time to daydreaming about this........//////MAJOR SPOILERS for some elements of the rewrite btw!!
our four main guardians have, in my canon, been incredibly close for many years. ignitus was always known as the wise-man and the voice of reason, and despite cyril's bad attitude, he was always honest and kept up with tradition to a fault. ignitus was good at difussing the bad situations cyril caused with his rude comments, but cyril often stood up for ignitus when the red dragon found himself to be a bit soft-spoken. the two had a deep respect for one another and they spent alot of time together as close friends.
when the year of the dragon was drawing close and the prophecy reared its head, ignitus and cyril were asked by a council of elder dragons to make the egg that would become their savior (yes, it is because red and blue make purple. im incredibly creative, i know!!!) the council figured that two heavily respected guardians that had excellent handles on their elemental abilities would create an ideal purple dragon for the future. the two initially weren't very keen on the idea, but they understood that they were only being asked to do so for the sake of their fellow dragons. eventually, they accepted the plea. ignitus was the sire and cyril was the dame in the situation (in the rewrite, spyro is mentioned specifically to have ignitus's horns and frills while also having cyril's eye shape and scale patterns)
intially, the two of them only did this because they saw it as their duty as guardians. yet, ignitus found himself fretting over cyril often. he would guide him around carefully, making sure he didn't stumble around given the weight of his belly during pregnancy. he got cyril food, groomed him, cleaned his room, and spoke about how he wondered what their egg may be like. though cyril was a bit bratty about everything, he was incredibly grateful for ignitus's diligence and patience. cyril would ask ignitus to stay in his nest for the night, and exclusively sought out ignitus for comfort and care. for the first time, cyril was being fairly polite and even seemed to be happier, and ignitus had come out of his shell. they spoke for hours about their egg's future, and then about their own. volteer and terrador jokingly referred to them as the "new pair of love doves". after some time, cyril was actually the first to confess that he loved ignitus (he was always a little too honest), having said "no one has ever chosen to put up with me for so long" and, despite being a little surprised, ignitus reciprocated, telling cyril that he "could never really grow tired of him". despite not knowing what the future held, the two decided they would do everything they could to raise their child together, and to be with each other through whatever the coming year would bring.
and then the raid happened. the temple was destroyed, chaos was everywhere, and the eggs were all shattered. cyril was injured, and ignitus, feeling frightened and panicked, sent their egg away to hopefully find a safer place to hatch. the war began not long after. although ignitus cared for cyril and stood beside him in battle, his guilt only grew as the war waged on. he couldn't help but blame himself for everything that had happened. cyril tried to talk him out of it, saying he was being irrational, saying that none of this could all possibly be his fault, saying there was nothing more ignitus could do. ignitus refused to listen, and put the blame for the war on his own shoulders, feeling that it was the only way he could properly take responsibility. the two of them fought harshly. ignitus couldn't come to terms with his own self-loathing and grief, and cyril couldn't find his softness and reasoning in a time when things were so hard. after their last fight, they didn't speak again, and cyril was captured a few days later. of course, ignitus entirely blamed himself, and lamented that the last words he ever spoke to cyril were words of anger and sadness, and cyril lamented the same in his cage.
when spyro arrives and frees the guardians, ignitus and cyril are intially very tense! they both never imagined seeing each other again, and they don't really how to apologize to one another and how to make up for all the negative energy and time between them. they barely speak to each other unless they have to, and they refuse to be in a room alone together for more than a few awkward seconds. spyro, ember, and flame can obviously see how weird they're acting, but terrador won't explain anything. the three kids go to volteer who, of course, literally can not keep his mouth shut about it. he tells them that ignitus and cyril were once together and deeply in love, but the war tore them apart. ember, seeing a touching love story in the making, decides "HEY!!! LET'S GET THEM TO MAKE UP!!!!" and literally drags spyro and flame into her plans. the kids do anything they can think of; sending the two guardians flowers from """"secret admirers", throwing around mushy-gooey poetic love notes, lighting candles everywhere, decorating the temple, and trying to set the "perfect romantic mood" for the two sad-sacks. eventually, they get caught, and cyril and ignitus bring them into the training room to reprimand them. not having the courage to speak up, ember and flame are silent, but spyro eventually confesses that volteer told them everything, and that the kids just want to see their guardians happy again. taken aback, the two send the children away, and are alone in the training room for the first time. after a bit of silence, cyril speaks up first. "you never apologized to me.." he mumbles, the air around him feeling cold. ignitus counters that cyril refused to speak to him. the two begin arguing, and it seems like this is just going to be another horrible fight, but the two war-torn dragons break down. ignitus admits that he feels its his fault because he sent spyro away, and he could never make up for all the pain the war caused those he cared about. he couldnt accept that it wasnt his fault because he was the head guardian, he needed to be better, he was SUPPOSED to be better. and he wasn't, and now it was all too late. after hearing this, cyril, for the first time in many years, found his softer side. he spoke gently, telling ignitus that no one expected him to do this on his own, and that he needed to learn to count on the others instead of expecting everything out of himself alone. cyril told him that, even though their future wasn't a happy one, at the very least, they were both there. and spyro had come home. after a bit more talking, there's definitely like, a super passionated lovey-dovey kiss and make up scene, and it closes with the two stupid boyfriends deciding theyre going to tell spyro the truth
AND YEAH BASICALLY THATS ABOUT THE GIST OF IT i am soooo fucking sorry this response got this fucking long but i genuinely adore this plotline and it makes me soft and fuzzy inside!!! and yeah basically their relationship is gonna go thru some ups and downs but itll develop alot more as the story goes alone and i think itll be alot of fun to show u guys!!!!! anyway ajfjfjjfd thank u for asking me this bc i was looking for an excuse to gush abt them lmao BUT if u have any other questions abt my rewrite or anything go ahead and ask!! thank u thank u thank u!!!! <3
#asks#THIS IS SO LONG IM SO SORRY#tlos#tlos rewrite#hejfjfjjd im like embarrassed i didnt realize how often i thought abt this subplot#mine
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1-100 TELL ME ALL
Get To Know Me Uncomfortably Well
1. What is you middle name?
Jesse
2. How old are you?
22
3. When is your birthday?
dec 9
4. What is your zodiac sign?
sagittarius
5. What is your favorite color?
purples
6. What’s your lucky number?
9
7. Do you have any pets?
no
8. Where are you from?
bc canada. my great grandparents are from russia
9. How tall are you?
5 something
10. What shoe size are you?
7?
11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
3 that i actually use
12. What was your last dream about?
i dont remember my most recent one but i had a banger of a dream i described in another post
13. What talents do you have?
i think expressing myself, or music, i have some talent that needs discipline
14. Are you psychic in any way?
well i am a spiritual person, in a way. and growing up in a toxic drama filled family, i have Developed the Skill of guessing how people are feeling and what they are gonna do. and i analyze dreams. so not psychic but i am really interested and intuitive whats goin on in there
15. Favorite song?
for some reason https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oilVq8-F4_Q colours by roosevelt ive been obsessed with lately i just loop that shit. loop loop loop. blaringit into my ears and speedwalking down thestreet. the beat.!!!! i feel like I took all the colours
16. Favorite movie?
spiderverse. i really enjoyed always be my maybe.
17. Who would be your ideal partner?
someone who doesnt make me feel like im Too Much
18. Do you want children?
not RIGHT NOW
19. Do you want a church wedding?
i have no idea actually. id want a special wedding definitely.
20. Are you religious?
yes, i honestly feel like i just come like this, i dont go by any books and i dont want to be associated with christians. if i be too religious i start getting the Bad Feelings
21. Have you ever been to the hospital?
yes visiting sick relatives. and one in a psyche ward.
22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?
i got a parking ticket
23. Have you ever met any celebrities?
no. maybe i did and i had no idea who they were because id never heard of them
24. Baths or showers?
showers.
25. What color socks are you wearing?
alien socks that are green and black
26. Have you ever been famous?
no. what does that even mean !!!!
27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?
yes because money but noooooo. its hard when one person definitely doesnt like me. if im famous some people just wont like me and theres going to be more of them
28. What type of music do you like?
stuff with electric guitars in it. funk. bops. i cant get enough lately
29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?
no
30. How many pillows do you sleep with?
one. and sometimes NONE. i dont fucking know why its just more comfortable. id lie down on a floor and pass out
31. What position do you usually sleep in?
i usually cant fall asleep unless im on my face with my arms tucked under me for warmpth and general log shape. after that though its chaos. dreamin
32. How big is your house?
BIG!!!!!! so many rooms. so many people.
33. What do you typically have for breakfast?
on a Functional day, cereal. not because its my favourite thing but it doesnt require a lot of attention and its easiest to tolerate. my appetite is just. like this
34. Have you ever fired a gun?
HELL no.
35. Have you ever tried archery?
in my child days i shot my hair elastics around and pretended i was fighting aliens. this is definitely archery.
36. Favorite clean word?
i dont really think about words like that. pizza is a nice word.
37. Favorite swear word?
bitch. its really fun to say.
38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?
not all that long. if i was up the entire night i am usually sleeping in midday no matter where i am. ive disappointed many teachers. its called not caring.
39. Do you have any scars?
yes, but theres no dramatic stories to them, just me not leaving scratches and bites alone as a kid. they look kind of cool though. and theyre so mysterious. youd think id have scars from self harm but no.
40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?
i believe so...
41. Are you a good liar?
yes, when i am 100% like morally committed to lying.
42. Are you a good judge of character?
NO. my thought process is: its rude to assume someone is going to behave badly, and they will be offended and have hurt feelings if you anticipate that. i have to like. treat everyone with exactly the same respect unless theyre a dick. otherwise its being judgmental. and it ends up as naïveté. but im okay with that . the price of being a good person
43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?
i could do a british one once i guess LOL and it looks like now ive Absorbed a mexican accent but i never really try to talk in other accents
44. Do you have a strong accent?
i dont know how to answer this
45. What is your favorite accent?
idk i like new things i havent heard before. and thinking about how other languages work. theres a lot of different accents at my work and i honestly enjoy listening to them
46. What is your personality type?
that.... INFJ. see. psychic
47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?
one of the gay jackets
48. Can you curl your tongue?
dont think so
49. Are you an innie or an outie?
innie
50. Left or right handed?
left
51. Are you scared of spiders?
depends. i had these big house spiders in my dungeon at my parents house, and id just be “hi” and set them free. but if i see one where im not expecting it i might yell a lot and tell everyone and run around and then set it free
52. Favorite food?
tacos from my old work. i was indeed. screaming, lost in the sauce. i waited until i was away from the restaurant because i knew all my dignity would vanish
53. Favorite foreign food?
idk... i need to eat more curry. i need more curryin my life. bring it on.
54. Are you a clean or messy person?
clean
55. Most used phrased?
“this slaps” i feel like ive been saying that a lot
56. Most used word?
I
57. How long does it take for you to get ready?
a whole entire fucking hour (when i wake up) otherwise 5min
58. Do you have much of an ego?
i do, but i hide it.
59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?
chomp chomp. i am not a patient man.
60. Do you talk to yourself?
yes, when i know no ones around, or when im not worried about seeming like a crazy person at work
61. Do you sing to yourself?
nah
62. Are you a good singer?
no. i can sing and it sound okay. nice even. but good??? like beautiful?????? no.
63. Biggest Fear?
someone dying, natural disaster, new illness
64. Are you a gossip?
maybe. i feel like i have the Tendencies and then im like “am i being a bad person right now”. i want to know the deets though.
65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?
i Simply Dont Have the Attention for Those
66. Do you like long or short hair?
BOTH . long hair is more fun to draw. short hair is hot
67. Can you name all 50 states of America?
fuck no. why would i. fuck off. i dont care about your states.
68. Favorite school subject?
ART ART AR T
69. Extrovert or Introvert?
introerverte
70. Have you ever been scuba diving?
no
71. What makes you nervous?
people who are not Definitely Cheerful
72. Are you scared of the dark?
no. unless i think about things to scare myself on purpose
73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?
no unless they need to know. because im not a fucking ANIMAL
74. Are you ticklish?
depends. i can be not ticklish if im determined.
75. Have you ever started a rumor?
i dont think so... i started a rumor i was from mars
76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?
maybe i was supposed to train some girls and then i probably didnt do a great job and they didnt listen. they say my job now is somewhat authority and im like...... ok......
77. Have you ever drank underage?
no
78. Have you ever done drugs?
no
79. Who was your first real crush?
someone whos OUTTA MY LIFE
80. How many piercings do you have?
two? i got them pierecd at claires lmao and i didnt get an infection because im so salty. then i took them out because they were from claries
81. Can you roll your Rs?“
hell yes
82. How fast can you type?
so fucking fast. faster than my work finder helper. im fast im very fast
83. How fast can you run?
IM VERY FAST
84. What color is your hair?
orange
85. What color is your eyes?
green
86. What are you allergic to?
im still trying to figure that out. whatever it is gives me hives
87. Do you keep a journal?
yes. so i can get better at handwriting and just talking in general and hear what my voice sounds like. and to have a space away from other peoples needs and pressures
88. What do your parents do?
my mom is a stay at home mom and my dad shoots pop bottles into the sky
89. Do you like your age?
sure
90. What makes you angry?
everything. cabbage. i swore about cabbage for a long time the other day. i am just full of anger.
91. Do you like your own name?
YES. i mean i chose it i better. honestly my first name ......... i feel self conscious about it sometimes. i think it was the only name for me though. it wasnt the ideal most wonderful namei could find because those didnt fit, it was MY name.
92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?
im going to have two sons and im naming them brick and rusty.
93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?
yeah, i want a boy a girl
94. What are you strengths?
my strengths doing all 100 questions, this is serious muscles
95. What are your weaknesses?
the exhaustion of jumping from one question to the next especially when they are vague. im not complaining this was my idea
96. How did you get your name?
i pfound it in the baby name book and i was lie “hey yyy, i saw that name in black beauty, lets use it for my gay coded villain what the hell!”
97. Were your ancestors royalty?
no but i did have some ancestors who lives i a mansions andhad fucking SERVANTS. before you call me problematic my other part of family was like sewing things and not going to school
98. Do you have any scars?
weve been over this. when im older im going to get a cool scar fighting a dragon
99. Color of your bedspread?
pink, white, blue
100. Color of your room?
white
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can ….. i come in ????? have been watching unbreakable kimmy schmidt for 3 hours pretending time isnt passing , life isnt real and in fact.. i am dreaming (-: lajdfksl hey <3 im jay im 21 and i love those instagram profiles of hamsters in little clothes ( when they got little purses? ???? dont talk to me im cryin. ) below u will find info about jane harris aka literally the vine of the little kid scribbling hard like his life depended on it. shes a mess ?? but a semi enjoyable mess. a mess with good intentions. if u want to establish some connections, LIKE THIS and i will come annoy u <3 alternatively u can ease my social anxiety and msg me here or through my discord sencha tea#4035 (و ˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و♡
( lily collins, cis female, she/her. ) — jane harris has been a medina complex resident for three years, now. they’re twenty-three years old, and they tend to avoid making eye contact. sometimes when i walk by B06, i hear cherry-coloured funk by cocteau twins playing. lately, i’d say they’re pretty effervescent, but sometimes that’s overwhelmed by the fact that they’re neurotic. i mean, they usually pay their rent on time, though, and that’s most important fact here.
repeatedly fixing the apartment number on the door when it swings down to a nine, a split moment of shadow after the radiance of laughter, carl sagan’s pale blue dot, a life of frequent minor accidents, constant hunger for balance overshadowed by emotional turbulence.
🇧🇦🇨🇰🇬🇷🇴🇺🇳🇩
TW ALCOHOLISM EMOTIONAL ABUSE DEPRESSION & ANXIETY !!!!! ok moving on
her parents met in art school in paris.. her mom is french and studied art history while her dad was an exchange student from california with a skewed artist mentality. it was that saccharine, toxic sort of love. her mom always felt like she needed to be the guardian angel in the relationship who would always hold him up when he was feeling down and he was feeling down….. a lot. because she was putting all that energy to save her relationship, she was drowning too but never enough to walk away. there was a lot of love there but it was twisted and uncomfortable at times
when they found out jane was on the way, it felt like they needed to suddenly grow up. her mom was ready to make changes, adapt to the new lifestyle. her dad, on the other hand, urged they rethink if this is what they want but he didn’t push for abortion.. he understood it was jane’s mothers choice to make and reassured that he would be there for the both of them no. matter. what.
but ??? the reality was he felt trapped by the idea of a child and he struggled to acknowledge and accept how quickly his life was flipping upside down and how he lost all control of it. he wanted to travel around europe ???? soak in nature, daydream and make art . but jane’s mom wanted to settle. instead of embarking on adventures after graduating, they decided to move to california.
things just seemed to fall apart like domino from then on. janes mom was lead astray.. thinking that what california would bring them was stability but instead, it was all chaos. they rushed to get married .. turned out janes father wasnt on good terms with his parents. he was irresponsible financially, put both his parents in huge debt, was blinded by his ego to ever realise his mistakes. lied constantly .. convincing janes mom that there’s light going forward. that once he finds a sponsor for his art .... once he sells his first piece ... once they see in him what he always saw in himself , he was going to make it right. and he reassured he would make it right for jane.
janes mom was so pathetically in love that she pushed through .. living in a sort of imagined world, believing that things were better than they actually were. and her dad was good at persuading that narrative. he would come home with a pocketful of cash and the bills paid. oftentimes, it was all an act. his art wasn’t selling and a lot of what he bragged about was borrowed or stolen. behind the curtain, he was absent and unmotivated. he would come home in the evening claiming that the whisky breath was celebratory but in reality, he was complaining to the barman two blocks away about how his life feels monotone .. like a french black and white movie.
the day of jane’s birth was a whole mess. her father decided to drive her mother to the hospital, knowing he had one too many. they were caught for speeding and while janes dad spent the night at a nearby station for driving under influence, her mom was at the back of a cop car, crying for one too many reasons .. jane decided to hang on for a little while longer and was born at 3am the following night. cradled in her mothers arms and her dads voice humming on the line
jane would only ever hear the romanticised version of this story from her mother. this ??? fucked up sense of security that no matter what, love conquers all. that love means supporting each other, loving each other extra when everything else falls apart. but truth is.. her mother was forced to give up her own dreams, lost all connections to her past, worked days and nights at a nursing home to support her family and pitch in to her husbands alcoholism while she’s at it. making excuses that jane was too young to contradict. all while the only source of happiness for her father was the haziness of his evenings, when he felt like floating and he could barely hold onto to his paintbrush. he was a stranger living in their basement .. more than he was ever a father
growing up, jane watched her mother mask her depression. carry empty bottles out from the basement, trying to hide it from jane .. it brought her shame. she was doing the same thing to jane that he was doing to her for all these years .. consistently expressing a certain attitude, this unwavering satisfaction for the life they are living and so ... it hardens. you start to believe it. except unlike her mother, jane was observant.. she had other lives around her to compare to her own, voices of reason that pierced through the skewed perception her mother drilled into her skull. when jane grew into her skin, she felt so ... disgusted and angry. she tried to pull her mother out of her fantasy but nothing worked.
through her high school years, she felt helpless .. her home life was a nightmare and she made every possible attempt to stay out of it for as long as possible. she took on jobs and extracurriculars .. stayed at her friends’ house until she couldn’t. and she would think.. think so hard, she would start crying. pushing her own problems away .. in her head, she would imagine herself in a different skin, a different place. it was the only way she could calm her breathing. only to have to battle the same thoughts the following morning
after graduating high school, jane went to community college for product management got a job offering after her placement at a big company and moved out shortly after ( and MOVED IN to medina... can i get a yee yee ) .. she got insurance for the first time in her life and eats too many of free pizza slices at work to save up on groceries every week <3
she doesn’t visit her parents bc she no longer feels like her mother is on her team. she’s lived a maddening and terribly draining life and living alone has brought her deserving peace.. although she’d rather keep contact with her mother to a minimum, its obvious that jane is her mothers anchor. if she feels as though her daughter is not fighting for her, she breaks down.. as much as jane wants to run away from her past, it always seems to catch up
if ur still reading literally who are u lafjdkl. ill be done schoon ..... oof
🇨🇭🇦🇷🇦🇨🇹🇪🇷 🇹🇷🇦🇮🇹🇸
if they are friends ... jane. will. talk. ur. ear. off. but probably not for the right reasons lol .. she has never been assessed by a professional, isn’t taking any treatment but she definitely needs it :( shes a chronic overthinker.. the voice in her head keeps chattering away most of the time which gets a little nauseating. she hates silence and feels like she needs to fill it with words. she often says the wrong things .. to the wrong people ... at the WRONG time and she is very aware of it. its the culprit for her self doubt and struggle to open up emotionally to the people shes close to. shes very critical towards herself, she micro analyses everything from the way she acts, the way she looks and what she says. shes also not a fan of confrontation !!!!!!!BUT!!!!!!!!!!!
she is a FIREBALL when she stands up for others. i dont know how she hasnt gotten into a physical fight yet. she would literally rip ur side mirror off ur car if u didnt wait for an old lady to cross the street. is intense in every possible way. if shes angry, shes angry and impulsive and out of control, when she is in love, she feels it in her bones and simultaneously wants to rip her hair out, when she’s passionate about something, she is persistent until she isn’t and when she loses motivation, everything feels bleak .. theres never any emotional balance, even though she fights so hard for it every day
likes sci fi movies .. literally when they are Floating in space ???? SIGN! JANE! THE! FUCK! UP! letterboxd is probably her favorite app. sometimes she will post a review, read it over and over, find something wrong with what she said and then delete it. shes very neurotic. she either has good days where she can comfortably be herself or bad days, when it feels like everyone is judging her every move when in reality. ... it is always .. all in her head.
and she is mostly in her head. she creates fantasies of her life, relationships platonic and romantic and as a result, nothing ever seems to measure up. she feels secure in her fantasies but oftentimes when it hits her that they are just that, fantasies, she ... feels really alone.
will trip over her own feet . has like 5 bruises from washing the dishes </3
she works as a part of a product design team in a big company.. probably has the knowledge to move up the tier but does not have the courage to stand up for herself . she doesnt believe in herself and is kind of a pessimist .......
got high one night and decided she wants to start an uber ....... only for women. but doesnt think its a good ide a (its a good idea. id like to think in 10 years time ... bitch made it)
really weird. likes eating broad beans and frozen strawberries .. will literally eat a lemon.
she will have different interests every week but never seems to be any good at anything ???????????? makes her sad.
claims tidying up with marie kondo changed her life LAKJDSKLDJ
*draws curtains* anybody else tired?
#mediocre.intro#»-.-°-ỽ-⸰-ｓｈｕｔ-ｕｒ-ｔｒａｐ-⸰-ỽ-°-.-«#4 hrs ago : yea ...... i could finish this intro in like 2 hours :) why not. whats gonna stop me ???? writing doesnt take that long.#it takes literally ?? 2 miliseconds. lol .......#im shtupid !!!!! have to take a shower. this is longer than all shakespeare plays combined.#if u read this im manifasting a good year for u.
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Ep 7 | I Just Played Myself - Dan
I BOUGHT THE IDOL LMAOOOO EL PSY KONGROO MOTHERFUCKERS
I am so sorry Timmy, no I am not really, this round is a DOUBLE tribal oh hell no
Okay, amazing. I can never remember what I write in these things but yesterday I was thinking that I didn't want to take Nic to merge and spoke to Taylor about maybe getting Emma and Josh to vote with us and get Nic out if we go to tribal since I wasnt so sure about Brandi and Jabari's stance with him. Jabari was the one who wanted him in the 5 "alliance" and I wasn't sure how Brandi would feel about turning on the alliance.
BUUUUUT Brandi and I were chatting this morning and I mentioned that Emma looked like the easy vote but Nic makes me nervous. Then was like, well, what if we vote Nic instead??? Uh, yes. What a great idea, Brandi!! She pitched it to Jabari and we're all in. We only need 4 but I think it'd be best if Josh and Emma were in on it too. Nic already thinks its Emma.
Sounds like Nic and Emma want to sit out of the immunity challenge. Perfection.
Nic has enough cash for an idol and its for sale this round. IDK if he'd buy and play it just to get through merge. If hes not playing the game he has to feel comfortable enough, right? If he does buy/play an idol Emma will go if he votes for her. I feel like he will. But just in case I think one of the rest of the tribe should also vote Emma. If he throws a vote it'd be a 1-1 tie if he has immunity and we'd revote Emma, but I think that'd be unlikely.
Whooo! A little bit of action. I'm getting what I want, Brandi feels like she's in charge, we're keeping our Beeho connections in tact and the whole new Beeho tribe feeling mostly comfortable. Perfect. We still have to get through today and tomorrow before tribal but I feel good.
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You know, I was hoping we'd be able to stay immune until the merge, but clearly the universe is telling me its time to shake things up!
Emma and Josh are, at the point, the only solid allies I have in this game. Merging without them by my side would be awful for my game so at this point I'm going to do whatever I can to protect them.
Prior to reward results, Josh and I decided it would be best to purchase the Tier 1 and Tier 2 idols for this round as a way of not only protecting ourselves, but also making sure that no one else has them to screw with our plans.
I'm pretty sure that according to the Emo Elephant alliance of Jabari, Taylor, Megs, and Brandi, Emma is the target just because of her inactivity. I know though if she wins immunity, Josh will become the target because he's the only one left not in the alliance.
Emma winning immunity would actually be ideal, because then Josh could play his idol on himself, and I could play my idol on myself with the excuse of "I was worried they were voting for me." and it won't look like a coordinated thing.
I think Josh, Emma, and I will end up targeting either Jabari or Taylor. I like them both, but at this point I think it's still worth it to try and preserve an OG Pearl alliance at merge. There's essentially a whole tribe of people I haven't met yet so working with them would be unrealistic.
This vote is going to be crazy, and is definitely going to be the hardest one yet. I like everyone on this tribe and wouldn't be making this move unless I absolutely had to.
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I'm not well versed in Retirement Home Lore but I hope I somehow end up as the person who sat out of the most challenges.
Of course I wanted to win immunity tonight, but I think everything will be okay???? I mean they could easily vote me out going into a possible merge to have the numbers on OG Pearl, but... I just don't see that happening?
I mean I could be boo boo the fool rn but again, I would literally die for Ari. I just feel like we bond too much on a personal level for them to slit my throat at this point. At f7 on? Yeah it's fair game, but I think Ari needs me as much as I need them? Or maybe I'm just a narcissist.
I think I’m in a better position than I originally thought? See the thing about having an idol is I feel like I can be a little more bolder and a little more reckless in the moves I’m trying to make. I probably don’t even need this idol but I’m still going to play it because I’m not about to waste $400 on an idol I won’t play the round it is an actual idol!
I reached out to Taylor telling her about a possible voting bloc of me, her, Jabari and Emma and try to vote out either Megs or Brandi. She seems receptive to it and she also thinks Jabari is open to making some moves. Which checks to what Jabari has been telling to Emma and myself that “As long as Taylor and I are here you aren’t going anywhere.”. I feel like Taylor is an unexpected ally for me. Ideally, me, Emma, Nic, Taylor and Jabari vote out either Megs because she seems to be more socially savvy than Brandi and I think I can still salvage something with Brandi. When we merge I follow Taylor with whatever connections she has on Old Beeho and try to set myself up where I’m protected on all sides.
Worst case scenario is Taylor rats this out to the alliance chat but not all is lost because I think Nic would be willing to play his idol for Emma. Nic is our little rat and I really appreciate him hehe. Now if this happen I really really want it to be a 1-1-1-0-0 vote. Imagine the chaos. El Psy Kongroo
I WON THE 21 FLAGS
I REDEEMED MYSELF AND BROKE MY CURSE
WHAT A HECKIN RELIEF
so glad my page of madman notes and my alliances with both the other players paid off whewwww. it's been forever since i've had an immunity necklace so i WILL be wearing it with pride! i'm definitely feeling a lot better about tonight's vote now that i have this, but also i am still pretty nervous because chloe has been far too quiet. i feel honestly so bad about not telling her the whole timmy thing but now im just confused like, did that break her and she's given up? or does she have some master scheme advantage shit that she's gonna pull out to make our lives hell? UGH i don't know. it's so awkward to try and talk to her about it and part of me feels like if she's not gonna make the effort i shouldn't either but :(((((( bad vibes y'all. i would have maybe even fought for her if she'd been trying harder, but like i can't just take someone into merge who's giving me nothing and who will probs blow up my spot as soon as we get to the new camp, so at this point the plan is to have me jacob dan vote for chloe and ali throw a vote on dan just in case, and just have chloe do whatever tf she wants i guess.
so the possibilities of what could happen tonight:
1) everything goes according to plan and chloe goes home without much fuss
2) chloe pulls out an idol, then it's either a) split vote between ali/dan and we vote dan on the revote or b) 3 votes negated 2 votes dan
3) if dan goes rogue and also throws a vote, it could get messy in even more ways - if he votes the same as chloe and she doesn't play an idol, we have a 2-2-1 tie where we'd want to revote chloe but then dan could get upset and loose cannon all over the place. if he votes the same as chloe and she does play an idol, whomever they voted (probs ali) goes home. if he votes different from chloe and she doesn't idol, it could either be a 2-1-1-1 or 2-2-1, and if he votes different from her and she does idol it's 1-1-1 or 2-1-1........
like, damn. this five-person vote is like the 3-2-1 flag combination in the challenge: on paper it seems better to have a lower number of factors to think about, but there's so many more ways you can divide and rearrange for different outcomes that you'd really rather avoid it at all costs. basically how i feel about all this is, if chloe sticks around my game is pretty much screwed but also as long as i can keep jacob, i'll have the strength to keep going. losing ali would suck bc he's a solid number always, losing dan would be painful bc i've really grown to like him and he's closer to a strategic match for me, but i have faith that me and jacob can overcome anything together. if jacob goes home somehow.................. i would be absolutely devastated. i'd have no choice but to go all scorched-earth on everyone's asses. if i lose jacob, everyone must suffer. so let's not let jacob go home tonight mmkay? <3
anyway, really hoping we do actually m*rge after this, my plan if chloe doesnt go home tonight is to throw myself at josh and tsl immediately and tell both of them i'll do whatever the fuck they want. if chloe does go home as planned, i'll still reach out to them but i can afford to be a bit more cool and aloof about it.
I think its cool I won immunity. But the double tribal is terrible ngl, I don't want anyone to go because we were such a powerful tribe and I get the reason why we are going. Doesn't make the choice any easier though, I have alot to ponder, I might not even know who I'm voting at tribal.
It all went tits up last time so fuck it
I keep telling myself to smile and breath through the pain of being lied to and that I will get my revenge for Timmy in time. It’s so much more difficult being patient than losing my shit in tribe chat and yelling about everyone or randomly spreading a rumour that there’s a secret duo
This tribal is very... suspicious. It's been quiet ALL DAY and Megs has been throwing my name under the bus to Emma and apparently to Taylor to. She told them that it was ME who came up with Emma's name and that I am not to be trusted. Now I'm not sure if she's saying all of that to convince Emma she's not going home or if she genuinely believes it but either way it's just another reason for me not to trust her. She is clearly a very strategic person who will do anything to ensure she has the power. Well Megs... you're about to be impeached and removed.
I literally have no idea what is going to happen at merge at this point. This tribal is really going to shake things up and anything could happen. I feel like chances are I'll be on the bottom come merge and will probably be an early merge boot, but is there anything I can really do about that? I didn't do anything to deserve being on the bottom of OG Pearl yet it's stuck with me this entire game. You could say I have a victim complex but I am the victim.
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why do these ppl think im dumb as hell thats my personality but not my brain they telling lies like jabari and nic are a duo how nic wants me out then i hear that megs spread my name now i feel chaotic i hope josh gives me his idol because like i really want to play this game i am better now it took a bit but im here and queer :DDD i have nothing against these ppl except jabari for basically pushing me away like if im still here in jury im making notes of this..
Oy! This should be so much easier than its been.
I'm so uncomfortable.
So earlier Brandi, Taylor, Jabari, and I agreed to take out Nic, despite having him in the alliance. Now Jabari seems like she's ready to fall on the sword for him? Where did that come from?? Nic claims he never talks to her.
Reached out to Emma and assured her I want her to stay and floated Nic to her. Obviously she was down. Then I tell her to be careful what she tells Jabari bc i think her and Nic are a pair and up to something. Emma says she talked to Jabari to plead her case and Jabari brushed her off and just said, "dw you're fine" but didnt give a name.
Jabari also floated to Taylor, "we could go with the group or make a move with Emma and Josh." And Taylor said "No" and then Jabari said okay, its between Emma and Josh then.
Like I don't know where Jabari's head is at. I feel like Taylor would tell me if she heard my name. I also feel like that'd be fucked up if Jabari wanted me out after I helped her practice for the immunity challenge but I really really dont know! Maybe its Brandi? Ugh
I trust Brandi and Taylor's vote.
I want to believe Emma will also vote Nic.
Josh doesnt seem to have a great strategic mind. I spoke to him a little last night before I went to bed and he suggested staying OG Pearl strong. Weak strategy but also we wont have majority unless Dan DOESNT go tonight. Then we'd go in even and Beeho would have proven to be very strong in their ties, what would stop any OG Pearl (me lol) from flipping and putting OG Pearl in the minority to pick off? No. I was trying to lead him to think Nic was the untrustworthy one but it either went over his head or he's also with Nic. By the number of times he says "I dont understand" or "I really don't get it" in a day, he might've just missed my subtle directing. Fortunately, Emma said she'd talk to him and Brandi wants to give him a call before tribal and convince him to vote Nic.
And I just cant read Nic. I can't tell if he's comfortable or knows I don't trust him and is lying to me as much as I'm lying to him. Does he have an idol? He talks about the shop A LOT and had enough to buy one of them. He said his goal was to make it past merge so I wouldn't put it past him to buy and play one even if he was comfortable just to make it.
Even that would be fine if I felt confident that the vote was on Emma and not me Brandi or Taylor. I feel like someone would tell at least one of us if something was up but if its Jabari Nic Emma and Josh together, thats a majority and whoever they vote is done.
Its so scary. I don't like being afraid so fuck it, I'm just going to vote Nic. I really feel like they arent voting TSL so in case it is me, ofc I want my buddy to have the best chance so I'm going to give her all my money before tribal. I would be surprised if I was voted out but better have a back up plan in case it goes awry. She'll give it back and I'll buy the top tier idol just before radomizing at what, 11 tonight? Kinda a waste to try to be sneaky since the item is taken out of the randomizer but *shrug*
So in conclusion I'm terrified but I'm still voting Nic. Getting Nic out would take out someone I'm suspicious of, eliminate the threat of a pair (Jabari/Nic), gain hopefully lasting loyalty from Emma for giving her a chance, and working with Taylor to get ins with Beeho in case they're very OG Beeho Strong. Jabari might be mad but she's so much better at games than me and I do NOT want to go to the end with her. She is a CHAMP.
These people are scrambling like crazy...............
This should be the most easy straightforward vote of the season and I’m freaking the fuck out. It seems too good to be true that it’s Chloe.
Chloe has done very little to get out of this pickle she’s in. I’m very worried that she may have some sort of advantage that might get her out of this mess, but at the same time idk. She allegedly has no money because of exile. But is that because she got something for risking it??? Idfk man.
I’m tempted to throw a vote on Jacob just in case of an idol play and everyone else but Chloe votes for Chloe. Idk I mean no one would know? And if she cancels a vote or two it won’t matter. Idek I’m in my head sooooo bad
ahhhh i'm at work so sorry for no video but we are voting chloe tonight and dan ari and ali and i are in an alliance and we're going to attempt to dominate at merge so yay
So apparently Megs, Brandi, and Taylor are throwing my name out because they believe 1.) I've been the one causing all the drama and 2.) I'm in a duo with Jabari. I've literally never had a one on one strategic convo w/ Jabari and barely speak with her in general. Also I've made it a point to not cause drama this season AT ALL and remain calm and under the radar. So to see it all crash down on me regardless is really disheartening. I also really liked Brandi so to learn she was the one spreading the rumor that Jabari and I are a duo sucks. I'm really confused as to why all this drama is being created and then being pinned on me. Oh well.
To continue on this point..
All this drama is being stirred up and being pinned on me and it sucks. I used to be a super dramatic and chaotic person and I've literally made it such a point to change this season. It's why I went home season 1 and I've done everything in my power not to let that happen again. I'm not sure why Megs and Brandi were so quick to turn on me? Like honestly? Megs is kinda the villain of the season and Brandi is her minion. Like the Despicable Me type of Minion. Which makes Megs Gru.
Power Rankings:
ONE - TAYLOR (+1)
Threat: 8 (+1)
Fuck I don’t think I realized how much power I had over people until this round. Megs was close to being a goner this round, still could be but I fixed the situation unless an idol pops up. I had a call with josh where he basically said im his number one and will vote how I do because im the only one he trusts, so he should be voting Nic this round. I also got megs to give me all her money incase she leaves this round.
TWO - MEGS (-1)
Threat: 8 (-1)
Trust: 10 (+1)
This has been a wild round, megs rolls in at #2 for a couple reasons. People are onto her, they know how big her threat level is and I knew it would come. I think I stuck my neck out too much for her this round. But she still has enough control over people that I don’t have, like brandi, which is why she comes in at #2.
THREE - BRANDI (NC)
Threat: 6 (NC)
Trust: 8 (+4)
Brandi comes in at number 3 because no one is saying her name, she’s sitting pretty and not having to lift a finger. However, she is getting grouped with megs which could be a danger to her game. Brandi is definitely UTR, and doing a good job keeping it that way. Brandi’s trust shot up because I know she doesn’t have any other option right now that to stick with megs, and I know megs and I are good.
FOUR - JABARI (NC)
Threat: 8 (+3)
Trust: 2 (-6)
Jabari almost pulled off a massive move this round in getting megs, she included me in it however, and I was able to diffuse the bomb before it exploded. Her trying to make this move is why her threat level increases. She’s onto me though, she told josh that she thinks I leaked it to megs, which I did. So that’s why I dont trust her anymore, I need her to leave ASAP.
FIVE - JOSH (NC)
Threat: 3 (+1)
Trust: 9 (+6)
Josh and I made a lot of progress this round. We had our first one on one call where he told me I was his number one. He said he trusts me, he gave me a lot of info on his concerns and also what people have been telling him. I don’t think he has enough social capital to make things happen, and even if he did he wouldn’t do it without me.
SIX - EMMA (NC)
Threat: 1 (NC)
Trust: 3 (NC)
I think the only reason Emma isn’t a goner this round is because megs wants Nic gone. She kinda just does as she’s told and that’s about it. Not a terrible strategy but annoying for someone like me who doesn’t particularly trust her. Emma doesn’t have a lot of say in what happens, but is included in the majorities plans as Jabari wanted her a part of the megs blindside, and megs wanted her a part of the Nic blindside.
SEVEN - NIC (NC)
Threat: 6 (NC)
Trust: 2 (-4)
I had a very bad round with Nic. I can tell Jabari leaked to him that his name is out there, and I know hes come to me saying that people think hes stupid and hes talking about me. I dont think hes stupid, I just dont have trust built with him. He doesn’t hold a lot of power this round, he likely is the one leaving unless he has an idol.
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ah man, so many things been going on, and mental health wise over the last year or so i’ve been Notgood and v dissociative and generally felt like i loser drowning in the void if that makes any sense idk.. just been doing a lot of drifting out, probs started as a coping mechanism, now i cant make it stop, yikers :/
anyays, quick bullet points of recent events, some awful, some not, just all significant stuff that been floating around in my head or whatever
(would probob not rec reading this, v all over the place and probs Upsetting to read outta context of being me, lol)
major family shit been going on
like stepdad of 12 years revealing himself to be the absolute scum of the universe, having an affair in all the worst ways, lying so, so much and being cruel and manipulative and shit beyond belief, some shit i’d already felt but so my mum and he are splitting up and thats been so much emotionally, mentally, and very much so financially :/
keeping my fingers crossed for that going well, my mum and brother have been thru so much already, fuck, i feel so bad and also terribly inept w comforting, never know just what to say or do, hope im not making things any worse at least (which is a v valid worry ;/ )
got into both schools i applied to, picked one somehow, worried about getting into debt
going to be moving out to a big city for that this fall, which is incredibly new and scary and exciting, i hope i’ll be ok
tbh my main worry with how i’ll do with that is the still not rlly diagnosed chronic pain in my hands/wrists that i haven felt releif in for actual years, and i honestly fucking terrifying bc what if im just pretending it’ll go away someday and my hands are actually fucked forever?
my abuser of like 10 years died a couple days ago, not sure how to feel about that, had been kind of expecting it for a while as he was old and in bad health
just mostly hoping ppl dont try and tell me to mourn him or anything, i dont think i’ll ever hate another person i knew personally as much as him, he was awful, but at least now i hope i wont have to think about him and freak out, always get nightmares when i do :/
i do intend to do a lot of important big adulting things soon, going to try and get back into therapy, for real this time, and other stuffs.
as i write this, i just got back home today after a really lovely 3wk vacation in mexico, have a house down there that we have to sell bc of all the shit going on now, which is really sad bc my mum put so much of her heart into it and making it feel like home and everything, but still it was a rlly good trip, im only sorry my stepdad ruined it all for my mum
i needed the break so bad, fuckie, like i been #dyin and feeling so awful, had mental breakdown at work right before i left, fuckin nightmare man, also with school i dont think ill be doing much anything like a vacation for a couple years at least, and even after that, who knows?
i know if i let myself think about elationships and my friendships i’ll get way depressed, feel such distance with so many people i used to feel so close to, and of course it’s my fault somehow, even admitting ive had a hard time with life in general only seemed to make things worse, made me feel further apart, but then... they all seem to be doing so well, so realizing i really havent been missed at all doesnt make me feel very good about trying agian if that makes sense, like my self confidence been getting so notgreat that realizing so many of my convos with other ppl consist of “read” messages from myself that were never responded to, like i know if i could see this from a perspective that wasnt my own, i’d be being a dumbass of some sort, but honestly it makes me feel so awful that i cant bring my self to bother these ppl again
who know, i dont even know if im making sense, jsut trying my best to get the chaos in my head unscrambled at least a lil, data is fuckered up so bad it makes the readings ridIculous triyng to read
idk, lot of this is probs big olde pile of garbage nonsense as is often the case when i try to organuze my thoguths, and tbh i wouldnt think much of anyhting, im like.. mostly fine, partially really great in some ways really, just..
everything’s so much, man.
#hella personal pls doont rebllg im just putting my thoughts out there cos i dont like em being trapped in my head#cws for.. idk all the things family shit infidelity brain junk tfff depressed shit anxiety lies idk#also death and abuse and relationship shit idk jsut many random things#lotta junk#go away heather#personal#as usual this wasnt the post i intended to make but whatever im never here anyways pls feel free to ignore this all#anyways like i said im going to therapy soon and whoo boy i got bucketloads of stuff to sort thru#but having a proffessional help me with it honesltly im exciteddd#also hey im back from 3wk vacay woo hoo
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BTS as Kingsman (Yoongi)
-Okay before i even start yoongi in a suit
-YOONGI IN A SUIT
-If thats not enough to make you want to pounce on this man then what is
-Okay okay okay min yoongi
-Codename: Percival
-Yoongi was just a normal guy when he was recruited into kingsman like he had a 9-5 job and a small apartment and he just lived his life
-When he was recruited he was always quiet and distanced himself from the other trainees
-Not because he wasnt good at making friends or anything
-IT WAS BECAUSE HE KNEW HE WAS GONNA GET PICKED TO BECOME THE NEW PERCIVAL AND GETTING TO KNOW THE OTHERs WAS NO USE BECAUSE THEY WERE GONNA GET ELIMINATED ANYWAY
-Like during training he always volunteered to go first and passed with flying colors and nobody expected that from a regular guy so when it was announced that he was top of the class everyone is just like ‘wth lol who even is he’
-WHEN THEY GET TO CHOOSE their doggo companions since hes top of the class he gets to go first and everyone expects him to choose the german shepherd or the rottweiler or even the doberman but when yoongi grabs the little brown toy poodle everyone laughs but yoongi doesnt care because LOOK AT HIS CUTE SON
-Yoongi justifies his choice by telling the others that he doesnt need a dog to back him up because he can take an enemy out blindfolded with one hand behind his back (he’s done it before)
-So when they get down to the last two and yoongi is faced with having to shoot his son holly or leave the kingsman hes in a state of inner turmoil
-Like thats his son
-But also kingsman
-But yoongi makes a decision and he clears his mind and hes holding this gun in his hand and his heart is beating so fast and he points the gun and his hand is on the trigger AND SUDDENLY YOONGI IS POINTING THE GUN AT ARTHUR!!!!!
-The room is so quiet bc there is yoongi standing with the barrel of his gun pointed at arthur and arthur is just standing there with his arms crossed completely calm.
-Yoongi is now smirking and arthur is like ’umm what’ then yoongi points the gun at holly and pulls the trigger and BANG
-Its a blank
-Yoongi tosses the gun at arthur and picks up holly while shaking his head because ‘you could have at least reacted to having a gun pointed in your face if you wanted to trick me. When you didnt react i knew it was a blank.’
-And arthur is dumbfounded bc did he just get outsmarted by a trainee lol
-Okay okay so anyway Yoongi is given Percivals spot
-Weapon of choice: cigarette lighter hand grenades
-You will never catch him without one
-I have this headcanon that yoongi is really good at negotiating and gaining control of situations hes not in control of so here we go
-Min yoongi a whole meal walks into this airport and of course the kingsman have their own planes and stuff but today he isnt percival hes min yoongi a man trying to go on vacation with his cute fluffball son.
-But i also feel like yoongi would get lost easily in a huge airport so here we have lost baby yoongs like yeah i can climb through the vents in the lotte world tower and find my exact target but this airport is new so im lost??
-He somehow wanders down a hall with a few doors and theres some god awful screaming and sobbing and yoongis like should i check that out or get an americano
-Americano it is
-Insert a loud cry for help and suddenly yoongi is bursting through the door he thinks he heard the cry of help from
-BEHOLD you, an ordinary citizen tied up to a chair with tears streaming down your face and 4 men surrounding you
-Yoongi is confused. What is going on. Why are you being adultnapped. Who. what. When. where. Why.
-Your eyes widen because fuck your screaming actually worked and you didnt think youd get this far but oh fuck he is a single ordinary hot man and these 4 guys are ripped now you might have someones blood on your hands
-Yoongi looks down at holly because hes growling and he gets a lil distracted because look at his son being all tough but oh shit if hes growling that means there are drugs in this room somewhere oh no there are bad guys right back to the situation at hand
-These 4 guys are suddenly like umm lol i guess we have to kill this guy because hes seen our faces and-
-‘HELP ME THEY WANT ME TO SMUGGLE DRUGS AND THEY THREATENED TO KILL ME IF I DIDNT AGREE OR SUCCEED’ you take your chances bc maybe this guy can help you
-Like maybe hes quick on his feet and he can bolt out of this room and find some police or maybe he can fight a little bit-
-‘Oh come on guys do you really think the boss is going to think she has the looks for being a drug mule? Shes not pretty enough to get passed tsa’ what a twist of events. This man you thought was here to help is also a bad guy??!!!!
-The other 4 guys are also confused because who the fuck is this guy
-Yoongi knows these guys. Hes seen their file before arthur accidentally deleted it. Theyre from a wanted drug cartel notorious for their body count and ruthless methods
-Hes pretty sure he knows enough to talk his way out of this or at least get this girl to safety before fucking shit up
-Youre crying again because you thought you were going to somehow get out of this but now it looks like youre being doomed to a sad life full of drug smuggling and sadness
-IN YOONGIS HEAD ‘oh no she is sad i must make her not sad i must help her i must protect her and make sure she grows up happy and healthy oh my gosh pls dont hate me’
-He lets holly’s leash go and the smol doggo runs over to you and just sits at your feet quietly waiting for his dads signal bc theyre gonna get you out of here
-‘I bet my dog could get more drugs on a plane than she can. How about your four find a decent girl while i dispose of this one and i wont tell the boss about your almost royal screw up.’
-These guys literally still dont know whats even going on but somehow they believe yoongi? Hes just that good. Like this is his specialty. Hes got control now.
-YOU SOB EVEN MORE BECAUSE THIS GUY IS GOING TO DISPOSE OF YOU
-The other guys are cutting you loose and they pull you up roughly and your legs feel like jelly bc this is it youre dead.
-You take literal baby steps over to yoongi and holly is trailing behind you after every step and wow why do bad things happen to good people. You pay taxes. You volunteer your time at animal shelters. You donate to charity. You work in a hospital making sick people not sick where did you go wrong.
-Yoongi grabs hollys leash off the floor and grips onto your arm tightly but not enough to hurt you it looks worse than it feels really.
-‘Why dont you guys take a quick smoke break before heading back out there. Hopefully we wont have to get rid of any other girls today. Pick a good one this time.’ yoongi just casually tosses a pack of cigarettes and a lighter at these guys before pulling you and holly out fo the room
-THOSE GUYS ARE STILL JUST NOT SURE OF WHATS GOING ON but theyve got cigarettes and a lighter so why not
-As soon as you guys are out of the room yoongi is literally sprinting away while dragging you like dashi run run run girl
-You are completely lost like why does this guy seem so panicked. Why are you running with him. Why IS HE SO HOT. when is he gonna kill you.
-You guys exit that hall somehow and yoongi is just mumbling things and trying to catch his breath.
-But then he starts whispering to you
-‘Okay theres going to be an explosion in a few seconds because that lighter i gave them was actually a hand grenade so just act the way you normally would during an explosion. Dont look suspicious’
-You just ???????
-Umm what.
-Yoongi has caught his breath and hes holding hollys leash in one hand and walking next to you casually.
-He just kinda intertwines your hands together before he begins a causal conversation but youre still flabbergasted but he needs you to be calm and casual and not suspicious
-But also When is the death part
-Like is he gonna kill you or
-‘So what did you want to do first when we land?’
-You dont get a chance to respond because umm
-Theres an explosion
-Just like he said
-And yoongi turns in that general direction with a shocked expression on his face like the other people in the airport and you do the same bc he told you to
-Everyone is panicking and running bc there was an explosion in the airport umm
-Yoongi is pulling you away in the middle of all the chaos and he pulls out a phone before punching in a few numbers and holding the phone to his ear
-‘Galahad, its Percival, i need you to delete the last 30 minutes of Incheon’s security footage. All of them. Also tell arthur the somin cartel has been kidnapping girls from airports to use as mule’s theyre getting bold. We’ll have to deal with them soon. Thanks.’
-UMMMMM
-‘What kind of a name is percival?What just happened?’
-Yoongis still holding your hand and you kind of want an explanation as to whats going on but his hand is also surprisingly soft and warm like you want to kiss these hands but they can also choke you bc look at those veins man DAMN
-‘So long story short i saved your life and now you get to continue living your normal life’
-He lets your hand go reluctantly bc youre beautiful and he just wants to protect you but he knows he cant because hes a kingsman and even his presence is a threat to you but oh god what he would give to make sure no tears ever slipped out of your beautiful eyes and no sobs ever left your kissable looking lips
-And youre looking at him with the cutest little pout and puppy dog eyes and hIS HEARt almost beats STRAIGHT OUTTA HIS CHEST
-‘Can i at least pay you back for saving my life? Do you like coffee?’
-He hesitates a little and shakes his head before trying to walk away but holly is literally refusing to leave your side so yoongi agrees
-And thats kinda how you started dating a kingsman bc he saved your life and everything
-But like
-‘You know i almost opted to get an americano rather than saving you’
A/N: okay so these are all completely unedited bc i just wrote them like in the moment type thing.
Also this was supposed to post earlier but somehow it ended up at 11 pm instead of 1 but when i noticed it didnt post i posted it sorry.
#yoongi x reader#yoongi x you#min yoongi x reader#min yoongi x you#bts x reader#bts x you#bts#bts imagine#bts scenario#yoongi imagine#yoongi scenario#yoongi fanfic#bts fanfic#bts fanfiction#yoongi fanfiction#bts kingsman au
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Episode 5 | “Wish me luck America” - Dan
I wanted a swap, i practically BEGGED for one because i was ready to cause chaos, so i swap happens
.... but its NOT good for me whatsoever because all the people i wanted to flip on and get out somehow end up on the other tribe, and to make it even better, what sole beauty do i get stuck with? connor. yet ANOTHER person lying to my face STILL TELLING ME I WASNT A VOTE OPTION......
just another fool on the list of fools who think IM the fool
so this is an interesting dynamic, 4 original brawn, 2 brain, 2 beauty.
off the bat it looks like those 4 brawn could be solid, so ive already been working to talk to the brains tribe during the one world twist, so being with autumn and duncan could potentially be good for me, obviously i dont know how theyre feeling but in a perfect world i want to allign with the brains. As much as i would love to vote out connor right away just to send a big old middle finger to the alliance that included him over me in it, but im not sure that can happen.
My only hope right now is that there's a crack within the brawn, if there is i can try and get in good with connor to maybe see about uniting with the brains and taking out a brawn, even if it meant 4-4 and going to rocks, im here to play so id absolutely do that.
If the brawns arent that tight however, and i can just flip one to want to work with me, i can use that as an opportunity to start a new alliance maybe with the brains and a brawn to vote out connor/anyone else not in our numbers, not sure yet, theres so many scenerios game wise but i think especially in the last 24 hours ive talked a lot of game with people, so i need to calm down on that and get back to personal conversations to try and estabilish trust with anyone i might need down the line, if we even go to tribal which im hoping we just dont, because then not only am i safe, but i get to hopefully see someone on the other side go home, and i would love for it to be one of the frauds amir, augusto, or kendall.
but its also terrifying since connor is such a wild card like what if he flipped to the brauns or the brains linked up with the brawn to pick me off?
basically if im gonna survive this swap, i need a little bit of luck, a little bit more strategy, and some more connections to get me through, i thought thats what i was doing before though and it clearly didnt work too well so buckle the fuck up because i have no idea where we go from here
lmao
remember a few hours ago when i said i hated this swap because it didnt give me much opportunity?
well little did i know was all i had to do was bat my eyes a little and opportunity appeared right before me!
meaning that, ive been trying to talk to and connect with some of these new people, ive had decent talks with liam and ali mostly, and i was trying to keep game talk minimal up until LIAM out of no where says to me, "oh i just realized someone on this tribe voted me out in a past game and i voted him out" so BITCH the second he says this all sorts of bells and buzzers are going off in my head like spill the tea i need to know!!
and what does he say?? it's CONNOR.
BITCH cue the choir and let the angels descend from above because im in HEAVEN hearing this!!!
there's 16 people left and while i really think we have a strong tribe to win challenges so we may never go to tribal, if we do ive already begun shoving connor so far under the bus there wont be any time for him to get up by the time he realizes what hit him. I'm giving you Miss Rosa in orange is the new black running over Vee REALNESS SWEETIE. VROOM VROOM WATCH OUT BECAUSE HERE I COME. My favorite quote of all time is: the enemy of my enemy is my friend, and that's absolutely what ive been playing up here
whether i can actually trust these brawns or not is beside the point, because right now i know for a fact i cant trust connor, he's still lying to me telling me i was never a target, so i have no use or even want to play with someone who thinks im an idiot. On a tribe of 8 you only need 5, and i am absolutely not opposed to setting myself up to be in a position where im the swing vote, if i make sure the brawns feel like they need me, and same with the brains, then i should be essentially... ok? until a merge??? maybe unless everyone here is lying to me too, most likely because im not a good player so im probably being duped dfhkasj
I've also been working hard to try and let people in on the narrative that the beautys have this majority alliance and are a threat, because i want to do as much as i can to put a target on their back and get them out, while also opening up to hopefully let people know they can trust me, and i want people to still think im weak so im also going for that pity card playing it up how no one over there would talk to me and saying how bad it was, i shouldve watched what i said though because i did foolishly let Ali know about the tomb and how to crack it, i didnt mean to and i wasnt thinking we were just having such a good convo and while i do like talking to him, i have no idea if i can trust him with that so great job at my dumbass for giving myself more competiion in the tomb .... i went back in tonight and ill be damned there's new questions so i SHOULDVE kept my lips shut and i couldve had it to myself, but whatever, at least if he finds it he remembers who led him there, i also dont want to rely on any idols or advantages, let's do this the old school way and get shit done, and get these people out of here, one false beauty at a time, until im the last one standing!! and aj... we still trust aj he can stay, but the rest they can go and then they can lemme know how that alliance works out for them.
Woooo! I made it to the swap!!! My swapped tribe is actually pretty cute bc it’s a lot of the people I really talked with during the chaos round. I am concerned about the 4-2-2 split we have being an issue, but I have to trust my new former relationships will at least make me not the first person targeted.
I’m so relieved to be swapped with Jakey because Jordan and Ali are definitely scary players and having them on the other side with the potential of being voted out (and not having to do it myself later) is honestly good. Jakey is more of a MOTR player and someone who I actually enjoy talking to about game and non game stuff so I’m excited to hopefully position him as my number 1 in this game.
With all THAT being said.... Devon and I have played before and I literally blindsided him while working with him so I’m worried about that. My other concern is that me and Amir go way back... I love Amir, I’m just nervous about his ability as a game player. I’m just praying that we can win some comps in the swap so I don’t need to address any of these issues fksmjsjsjs. Wish me luck America.
the way i'm going to be the last person in the challenge who determines the tiebreak... which could keep me safe but seal jakey's fate... god this is so upsettingggg
I meant to do this earlier, but quick recap on my thoughts on the tribe swap.
First, I'm elated to see that I have a majority of the Brawn on this tribe. I have Jordan who I'm closely aligned with, and I have both Liam and Ali who I've been working with and have a good game relationship with. That's where my initial excitement ended. Because the Brains and Beauty who I talked to the most during the One World Day - Devon, Scott, Kendall, Augusto - all ended up on the other tribe rather with my closest ally in Jakey whereas I got two Beauty who I hadn't talked to and two Brain who, while I was optimistic about, were more concerning in terms of their thoughts about me. But I'm going back to that social game I've been working on and I truly think that this swap is going to work well for me. I think I've specifically been building some good relationships with Adam and Duncan that will help me not be the target if a Brain/Beauty coalition forms. But now I just need to see if I can get through this damn tomb and go from there.
Whew! It's been a few days since I made one of these and boy do I have a lot of tea to spill!
So after voting out Devon, a twisto's twist comes into play where we all go to one world and vote someone back into the game. I lowkey had a feeling this would happen... Like I really spent all day getting the HIGHEST score in that immunity challenge only for Devon to get voted back in 15-0-0. Nothing really important happened here except that Austin did a shitty campaign job and Lovelis just.. disappeared. Like bruh, you really don't want to come back huh?
And then we swap tribes and of course I'm stuck on Thoth AGAIN!! I've accepted that I'm cursed this time around because I... am tired of being here. But, Duncan and Autumn are on the other tribe so this gives me a good opportunity to not only rebuild my relationship with Devon, but to make new allies moving forward. Personally, I think I need to cut ties with Duncan and Autumn and find new life. I realize that they are much closer to each other than they are to me and I can't work with that long term. The way they approached Devon for his vote out really proved it too.
When it comes to rebuilding my relationship with Devon, I'm not gonna lie it's much more difficult than I thought it would be. Like I basically told him that the reason why I voted him out was because he snitched on me to Duncan and told Duncan everything I said to him on our call. I basically said I was hurt by that because I trusted him and then he went behind my back like that and it wasn't cool. Especially since i was considering letting it go to a tiebreaker challenge too! So then he tried to phrase it as "I would never lie to you, I had your back all the way to the end" and I'm kinda just like... okay but your actions speaks louder than your words. And you taking the action to approach Duncan and tell him everything I said to you wasn't cool. However I made it very evident that Duncan/Autumn are much closer then we thought and i think he gets it. I've slowly come to realize that he's the perfect goat to take to the end because he really lacks at the relationship building portion of the game. However, I need to be able to trust my goats and right now I don't trust Devon. He told me about the idol as a sign of trust, however he hasn't found the blog yet. (backtrack, Duncan shared the blog with me so I've been idol hunting, and now I'm just telling people I had no idea when they ask me about it LOL). So I might tell Devon I found the combination, but at the same time do I want him to have the idol? Not at all!
I'm happy that this swap brings me to a lot of people that I can potentially work with. I know that Duncan and Autumn originally wanted to work with beauty to take out brawn, so I'm really happy that I have 4 beauties on my tribe. Out of the beautes, I really like Augusto, Amir, and Kendall. AJ hasn't spoken to me at all tbh... like we barely talked. Kendall and I talk briefly but she told me straight up that her/Amir/Augusto were a trio and that definitely doesn't make me feel comfortable. I'm just like "okay, let's leave this thought in the back of my mind for later." But I've spent a lot of time talking to Amir and Augusto, and I can see myself working with them long term. Augusto and I called for like a whole hour and a half, which is beautiful that we got along well so quickly. I like how they both plan to keep their word and don't like to make fake promises. It shows that they're genuinely good people and I think they're my kind of crowd. So I definitely want to work with them through the merge. I also wouldn't mind going to the end with Augusto too (Amir already won so I don't want to make that promise to him LOL).
When it comes to the brawn, I gel most with Jakey. I would go to consider him my new #1 right now. I don't think I ever had a #1 on old Thoth mainly because Duncan/Autumn were so close and Devon is just.... being Devon. Jakey told me about the idol stuff which is great! Personally, I already knew about the idol, but to pretend to be shocked by it and go forward with it was the best move for me. But Jakey and I seem to be the smartest and most focused people here, so I need that. He gets me and is on my level. I'm considering taking him to the end with me if it comes to that just because I want to be loyal this time around. That's why I'm happy than an alliance of Me/Jakey/Augusto/Amir/Kendall was made because I want to stick with this 5 all the way to the end. And I'm happy to already be in a majority alliance because it means I can potentially get to the merge. I just hope everyone knows that I'm with them and want to stay loyal to them going into the merge. Because I would love to be able to say that I'm 5/5 on making it to the merge. It'd be a shame to end my last tumblr season as a pre-merge boot.
In terms of this vote since we lost the challenge AGAIN, I'm open to voting out either AJ, Devon, or Dan. I know people want to keep Devon around I'm happy with that. I'd hate to vote him out again after that last round, but also told people that I would do so if it meant that I would solidify trust with them in doing so. Which leaves us to Dan and AJ. I'm open to either of them going that round, mainly because I haven't spoken to either of them that much. I would perfer AJ just because he's a beauty and I'm skeptical about keeping all of the beauties around. At the same time, Dan can be a little aggressive so I also wouldn't mind getting rid of the negativity within the tribe. So many decision to make!! I just hope I make the right one.
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I take back everything I said about feeling good about the swap. No one is willing to talk about the vote with me so I guess that means it’s me??? I don’t know I’m just not feeling good and my gut is pretty good most of the time so we’ll have to see.... I just like don’t fuck with people who don’t wanna talk?? Like why play???
I am little fucked.
Honestly if I was going to get voted out I would like it to be because of my #bigmoves or #smartbrain but nope it's cause of 2 minutes. And that's infuriating! Like I work my ass off in basically every other challenge! I drew the tribe flag, I took the lead on the word puzzle thingy, I got a reasonable number of scavenges!!!! And now I'm going to die.
Like a lil bitch.
I'm trying my best not to struggle cause voting is like quick sand, the more you panic the more you sink in. But logically I don't have much to worry about. Devon is willing to work with me, I already have two solid allies, and Jakey and Scott have both reached out. But the back of my mind is... bad. I'm so stressed out and Pissy.
Fuck Dan. Fuck his stupid face. The only thing keeping me from throwing him out is I don't want people to have the perception that the beauty tribe is a unit.
Oh yeah we are voting out AJ even though he probably has an idol which isn't great for me because he could probably get wind of that thing that's happening where people want to kill me and get on board and proceed to kill me. That was a mouthful but I don't have to be eloquent when I'm going to fucking dieeeeeeee.
I'm barely holding it together. Help me Survivor Jesus.
Augusto, 1:02 PM
K so Dan said that he heard AJ would be a unanimous vote
didn’t tell me who but he said that that person could just be projecting what they want
Daniel Disbrow go fuck yourself. Projecting my lily white ass.
Whew i love when things work out for me. This tribe swap went great for me. I feel very confident about my position on this tribe. I am good with Ali, Tj, and Liam all through seperate links to myself which im hoping can keep me as a centralized figure on this tribe. Ive formed a very good relationship with Adam so far who definitly feels on the outs of the beauty which is great. I thought i could be good with connor, but hes kind of been blowing me off so idk, he could be a target if we lose. As for the brains on my tribe Im talking more to duncan than autumn, but im gonna work on forming a stronger relationship with her on the chance were both at merge which i think is likely. I feel bad for Jakey and dan, two people I did want to work with, however I would be okay if they left as it would lesten the target on me at the merge with less brawn numbers and a larger beauty group to be scared of a group against. Sometimes you got to sacrafice pieces in chess and if they lose it sucks but ill move on. Im optimistic about moving forward through this next phase of the game.
wow i cant believe i almost DIDNT make a confessional for this round but here we go:
not much more has happened over here since the swap, we absolutely did perfect in the immunity, so we wont be going to tribal, which is cool because im guaranteed safety and now i can just spend my time trying to work on these relationships that i need out here if im gonna make it a couple steps further and plot my revenge against the false beautys and make the moves that are gonna benefit ADAM and no one else.
The original night of the swap i found myself having longer convos with the brawns and letting them all in on the tea about how those false beautys have a majority alliance and how they were plotting against me for no reason, so last night i was talking more so with autumn/duncan individually and they also asked about tribe dynamics so guess what, i spilled the tea to them now too, and they seemed to believe what i was saying, which granted, life on old hathor wasnt HORRIBLE it's not like people were like LETS JUST POINT AND LAUGH AT HIM
...but this new tribe dont know all that, so im absolutely going to be hyperbolizing and over-exaggerating the situation completely still because that's what i do best, i have a strong personality and a way with words so if i can paint the narrative to look better in my light, i absolutely am, and i mightve got lucky with connor here because other people are telling me he's hard to talk to, which makes it 10x easier for them to believe me, because i am still telling the truth, he's one of them, and he's clearly a snake lying right to my face so im making sure they know he'll lie to theirs too.
i dont want to get to confident with my postion though whatsoever, because these are all good players and im just a dumb bitch so odds are, someone is playing me and i probably look like a fool but whatever, i only know as much as people will tell me so either way i just have to go with the flow in a sense, whether im the one steering the ship or just the clown aboard, is TBD.
i also found it QUITE pleasing to see how for the other tribe, kendall is the one who messed up and cost them the win, however i know she's got her little puppets with those other false beautys so im not sure if theyll take her out. Looking at that tribe, id be happy with almost anyone going but the biggest plot twist of them all is ..... i think i want jakey to stay? me and him had a good talk at one world actually, i began planting seeds with both him AND kendall about each other so i might have inadvertently pinned them even more against each other, unless they put 2 and 2 together and realize i was kinda just telling them both what they wanted to hear, i didnt think id want to work with jakey this game but now that i know i cant work with those false beautys, i might need him to stick around and do damage to them over there for me
but really, i dont give a shit who goes home from them, aj is the only one of the false beautys im not 100% against yet because he is my friend, and maybe we can still somehow work together from opposing sides to keep each other safe but who knows, and jakey staying would be good for me because he's a threat and potentially could be on my side again (unless he was just lying and wants me out BAD then uh... he can go but hopefully not because i need that group broken up more than i do him gone even if he is after me)
im also trying out a new strategy ive never used before........ i made my skype icon a selfie of myself, now let me make it clear, i absolutely DO NOT think im that attractive, years of low self esteem have made that nearly impossible for me to believe, but im starting to feel myself a little!! i think i would give myself at least a 5/10, so its definitely a reach but im really just hoping by seeing the real me maybe that helps people wanna talk and open up to me more? either that or it will do the opposite and scare them away oop.
but ive had good responses so far? i got a "whew", a "whoa", and a "oh my..." from different people so um... i think that's good dfhuakj???
at this point in the game, i have to identify my own strengths and weaknesses and go from there, because clearly im not meant to find the idol every time i go to the tomb i flop, im just not meant to be an idol queen, but i wont give up!!! im gonna try again later tonight and hopefully find it, or at least see for sure if someone else has found it
and that's what you missed on akhmim! (from my very singular and most likely delusional perspective)
I love Amir and Augusto.
Like not to sound like a sentimental little bitch but I would kill for them. I have been the worst these past couple of hours and here they are all supportive and shit.
I talk a big game. Like I consistently declare my villainy and keep pushing for #bigmoves but I will literally cry like a baby if I had to ever do anything to them. So I've decided I won't.
I still intend on winning, I'm just not going to do it with their blood on my hands.
Well...IT FEELS GOOD TO BE BACK! I was expecting to 'Slither' my way back in, but clearly didn't imagine myself coming back on a 15-0-0 vote. If you had asked me about who I felt GREAT about prior to the swap, I would have said Jake and Augusto, so it's nice to have them on Thoth with me.
Going into the swap, here are the headlines:
1. Scott/I are back on the same tribe. He clearly doesn't trust me like he did before since I told Duncan about me knowing they were targeting me. Can we build that trust back?
2. OG Beauty vs the rest. For some reason, OG beauty is willing to vote out AJ and ease everyone's paranoia. We could have just as easily gotten rid of Dan, but whatever.
3. Alliance chats. I was told that Kendall/Amir/Augusto had an alliance chat, and it doesn't help that apparently Scott hosted Kendall early in her TS career. I need to make sure my connections stay strong enough moving forward
I finally learned the system to find the idol and it’s been found in the new tribe. I really hope Scott takes the time to find the Thoth idol. Firstly May I say the daddies are reborn with Devon being able to re-enter the game which is amazing! Unfortunately we got split up and now they face 4 beauties and 2 brawns on Thoth and autumn and I got to come be on Hathor. Adam spilled the tea about the Hathor 5 and its looking like Conor will be the first out if we end up at a tribal. I’m so happy to be off of Thoth. It was like a sinking ship and that tribe is cursed. On the flip side, for the first time this game, I DONT HAVE TO GO TO TRIBAL COUNCIL!!! YEEEHAW!!! I feel so grateful but also know if they lose 3 challenges then we’re losing Scott or Devon which would be horrible. I don’t know how comfortable I am with my position as it stands but I’m just grateful not to lose and probably feel most bad for Scott. I hope the daddies can survive this swap and perhaps make it back together come merge
I really haven’t said shit huh gfhjdksl WELL, tons happened last round like someone coming back into the game and me getting to meet everyone finally! Devon returning was the best case scenario as him and I created a really weird yet good bond which I’m thankful for! Autumn and I meshed so well, Duncan and I bonded quickly, I also bonded with Scott/Jakey/Dan, and then had good convos with TJ/Liam M/Jordan/Ali so that was cute. We ended up swapping into 2 tribes of 8 afterwards which wasn’t TOO bad especially considering who is on this tribe like I got crazy lucky. We have 4 Beauties, 2 Brain, and 2 Brawn on this tribe and the other tribe has 4 Brawn, 2 Brain, and 2 Beauties which is a thing. But yeah, I have really high hopes? My connections here are strong personally so I want to just build on that.
following the austin #blinside, we were BEANBOOZLED again and told that austin, as well as lovelis and devon would be pining for our votes to stay. all the tribes ended up on one beach but the initiative for the beauties was clear: austin could NOT come back. love him and all but after boldface lying to him and voting him out.. it just doesn't add up, right? so, the vote was really a matter of lovelis and devon, but then it just became of matter of "okay devon's coming back point blank" since lovelis wasn't really active. this didn't stop austin, however, from going around and throwing us under the bus, telling kendall her name was going around, outing the original plan to austin, all the while assuring us he was "beauties strong!" i respect the hustle but it ain't me! i decided not to lie to to him and told him upfront he wasn't getting my vote, little did i know it was going to be 15-0-0 for devon to come back.
the perks of the one world twist was the fact i got to mingle with everyone i'd been excited to see from jordan pines to autumn! it was also a clear front for the fact that we'd be swapping right after, which we did! thankfully, the swap worked out for me perfectly. augusto, amir and kendall are all here with me and i got along with devon and jakey great! i also talked to scott and we bonded as well, and dan and i tried to recover from amnesia over a game we played a few years ago. i don't think i was put in a poor position at all, and in a must of confidence, i don't see myself going home like.. at all unless things change for the worse.
the challenge came and went, and apparently one mistake cost it all but it didn't really matter to me because i have kendall's back and i know she has mine, so there was no chance i was gonna let her go over some two minute slip up. however, that was enough for dan to target her after we lost the challenge so the sexy procrastinators (basically leaning tower of penis bar connor) are counteracting by voting dan! do i feel bad because dan also asked if we could work together? hell yeah. do i feel REALLY bad? not really! he's a very nice gentleman, however, i'm pretty much on good terms with everyone on the tribe (and have solid allegiances with half of them) so i'm put into a rock and a hard place!
i will say though, besides that, things have been really quiet compared to how things were on original hathor. there was always conversation going, even if it wasn't game, so it feels WEIRD when you're not talking to anyone within the hour. does that make me nervous? absolutely. am i assuming that there's an ulterior plot against me? more than i should! i just need to get myself together though and stop freaking out, what happens happens and if the that plot is indeed true then they got me gals!
i’m me having high hopes for our tribes and us losing badly… the delusion! That being said, I oddly feel safe? I have my trio with Amir and Kendall (where I have solid duos with both), a secret duo with Devon, Dan and I have this Seychelles thing going, AJ trusts me I think, and then I’ve connected well with Scott and Jakey on a personal level so that’s fun! I’ve been telling every non-Beauty that I do genuinely want to stray away from playing outside of tribal lines because alliances made out of convenience are not as strong as alliances made out of connection. I just want to pretend myself as a very fluid, easy-going player/person in hopes that these players want to scoop me up for literally anything they want to do. My ideal boot order for this tribe would be AJ, Dan, and Jakey. AJ leaving opens up the game for me as it means I stuck to my word as not wanting to play by tribal lines, Dan leaving is mostly to appease to others but also because Dan could be dangerous later on, and Jakey is who I REALLY want to see leave because he has been the main person who has gotten and spread info on this tribe and he strikes me as the most threatening person so removing that before a merge is KEY. But yeah, that’s where I am at!
I definitely need to step my pussy up in this game… like I feel extremely well about how I’m playing socially (I’ve been in tons of alliances, have gotten to really KNOW everyone I think, have been calling people for hours on end, have gotten information from all directions, etc) but I need to be better at talking game with people. Kendall and Amir have been doing extremely well about getting information out of Scott and Jakey respectively because they initialize game talk with them to do so and I personally struggle with that? I will say, I’ve been really good at getting people on my side to tell me things in the first place but I want EVERYONE to give me the tea like… I got my cup ready for all the tea so spill it please (‘:
I know I’ve done a super bad job at narrating everything that has happened this round but that being said, I haven’t done a bad job this round in the slightest. A sis really 1) established a connection with every player on my tribe [as in, I have an alliance with every single person in some capacity] 2) I am a part of the majority alliance 3) the people on the “bottom” feel good about me and have told me things 4) I’ve gotten close to getting to the end of Thoth’s Tomb which is awesome 5) I feel safe amid some messes this round [like Kendall telling Scott about her, Amir, and I being a trio which nnn] 6) I’ve honestly tried to downplay my gameplay to people by narrating my past seasons to people on call and explaining how I’ve been betrayed by my closest allies so I want something genuine and different this time AND also continuously asking my allies for “help” on talking to others to build even more trust [Amir told me he’s glad I’m in this game because I’m the only level headed one, Devon told me he trusts my judgements on anything, etc]... so yeah, a bitch might be doing that?
Sooooo I think AJ is going tonight? Which is fine because he’s throwing my name around even though I actually was interested in working with him lmao. I was hoping Kendall would go because she literally does not talk, but I’ll take what I can get. Jokes on me when I get blindsided
jakey just told me he's voting for me.. so yes i'm freaking out and yes i'm convinced i'm going home you CANNOT tell me otherwise
https://66.media.tumblr.com/376a5e921389df0e5d37a54da9734e04/ebea8f0b6df920b0-57/s640x960/e1f351d79a9ea08058418a032c97026926156df5.gif
kendall and augusto sat me down on call and basically told me it was over https://66.media.tumblr.com/376a5e921389df0e5d37a54da9734e04/ebea8f0b6df920b0-57/s640x960/e1f351d79a9ea08058418a032c97026926156df5.gif
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I hate everyone lmao. I initially started saying we should vote Ken Doll, or whatever her name is, before I knew AJ was throwing my name around. And of course someone threw a vote on Kendall, and now I have Ken Doll in my PMs being like “ballsy how you still voted for me” that’s funny sis, I don’t even know how to spell your name.
Not me almost putting Thoth on the tribe option lmaaaaooo old habits die hard. I would just like to take this time to thank the Academy, the hosts for swapping me well and allowing me to succeed in a way I never could in Thoth, and my new tribe for being both wise enough to listen to me when I come up with a plan and solid enough to deliver. Being immune? It's a lifestyle and I really missed it
Ok so things are going well on Hathor (knock on wood)? I've talked to everyone, we're in a good spot, and I'm not worried about anyone.... but I am nervous but we'll come back to that. I feel fantastic about Ali- this is our third time playing together and every time we see each other we just pick up right where we left off, both as friends and allies. But it's really special this time around since we've both won a main? So we're in a unique boat that no one else in the cast is except Amir. Basically now we have each other's backs more than ever because our stakes look different as well as our threat levels compared to everyone else. I also discovered that TJ and I went to the same fucking COLLEGE??? When I say I'm gagged ugh. So yeah I think there's a new level of trust and kinship there since we share something so major that's not game related. And I think both of us are kind of alone? So that helps bridge the gap even more
Ok now for all the other menses.... I have always been nervous about Jordan Pines simply because he's Jordan Pines. I know how I am and I know how he is so him being so tame and quiet the entire game is spooky to me and I don't buy it. I'm trying not to start shit obviously but I think it would be risky to wait until Jordan goes full Jordan before making a move but we'll leave it for now. Iiiiiii am no longer sure what to make of Adam and Connor. I actually really liked both of them the past couple days and was considering working with them but it has come to my attention that Adam has been telling everyone the same story about him being on the bottom of the original Hathor and that everyone needs to get rid of Connor since he's apart of that block. When I thought I was the only person with the tea, I was like YEAH ABSOLUTELY but then hours later Duncan tells me the same thing and then today Ali not only tells me that's what Adam said but apparently he said it to Liam as well. So I'm like SIR- tea is only special when it's private. You trying to get the entire tribe to rally to kill one specific person based on something that none of us can fact check is messssyyyy. I know there's some truth to it because Austin also was very adamant that Hathor couldn't be trusted but the whole thing is convenient to me, that Adam is hellbent on getting Connor out and really playing up the victim angle.
And the gag is, if Connor ever goes, where does that leave Adam? Cause if you're willing to campaign this early over something that specific, what will you do to target the rest of us? Like ok we're all comparing notes now but that's cause it's pre-merge. Iiiiiii don't know if Adam needs to make it to merge if he's so generous with his spiked tea. And then that leaves Duncan, who is my dad yes and who I've been with the whole game but I'm really trying to diversify and look elsewhere. I don't wanna hurt Duncan but I do get this impression that he sees this as "our" game and that's why he's very keen to know who I'm talking to, who I trust, am I looking for the idol, do I need any help, etc. To the point where I feel like it's gonna become a liability situation, like because we're friends I'm SUPPOSED to both protect him every single round but also approve everything by him and take him to the end. And just so we're clear my game is mine and mine alone. I didn't come into this game to play for or with anyone and y'all know I have too much Sagittarius in my chart to let a man control my game. And no I'm not reaching because Duncan was tripping about me having a good relationship with Devon, to the point where he and Scott made a side group with Devon before tribal to convince Devon to vote me- mind you all of this came to my attention AFTER tribal and from Devon, even though it was Scott and Duncan's idea to vote Devon in the first place.
Soooo explain to me why Duncan is questioning my loyalty when I'm voting out another ally over him and then you wanna go do side shit even though the vote was locked and already unanimous?? No ma'am I'll fuck you up. I really killed my bb to protect my dad and he over here trying to micromanage and teach me lessons. Sir there's plenty of game left don't try it. ALSO DEVON BB I MISS YOU YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT SCUNCAN SO PLEASE DON'T DIE ON THOTH
Okay I literally don’t even know where to start with this entire round, so ughhhh lets just make lil blurbs and word vomit all the thoughts in my head.
Okay first, alliances. Me kendall Augusto. I trust these 2 more than anyone else in the game, but Kendall is a mess and a half and has accidentally leaked so much shit or purposely idek I know it’s not malicious, she’s super loyal she’s just silly. She told Scott that me her and Augusto were a trio, which like why tf would u do that ??? anyway, Scott told jakey who told me.
Next is me aj kendall Augusto which is a cover up to tell aj to vote dan because the actual vote is aj, but no one wants aj to use his idol. Everyone on our tribe is like sure aj has the idol now, and I’m trying push that too, because I have it lmfao and I don’t want people to know I have it.
Next is the new main alliance, me kendall Augusto Scott and jakey. I DONT KNOW ABOUT THIS AT ALLLLLLLLLL, everyone wants to vote aj out, and I’m telling Augusto and Kendall, like y’all realize we are giving them the opportunity to 4-3 us next round? And kill the beauties ?? Like how is that smart ?? But at the same time, getting rid aj could cement Scottie and jakey. It just depends if they try and make a move against me Augusto and Kendall next round if they think we are a trio. However, me and Augusto have planned beyond such and in that case, I have ammo.
Let’s check the armoury:
- Augusto is insanely tight with Devon now, we can use him as a weapon
- jakey ratted on dan to Kendall and ratted on the majority alliance, we can turn dan against jakey.
So if Scott and jakey think of pulling a fast one on us, I’ll tank their games so fast and make sure they go down with us .
Lastly , I’m fucking terrified. Because with this vote, if jakey Scott Devon and dan team up and vote me just to do it, I’m going to go home 4-3-1. I’m putting my faith in this alliance and my gut is telling me to trust jakey and trust Kendall and trust Augusto.
Basically, there’s huge pros and cons to what we are doing right now. However, assessing the situation, if I put my foot down hard and force all 4 beauties to stick together, it’s a bad move for my game . Jakey will be mad, Scottie won’t trust us, and I’d be forcing Kendall and Augusto to do what they don’t want to do, and aj is an ally who is almost never online. It’s simply not worth it. The better move is let aj go, create these bonds and take these risks, and secure that I won’t get caught about the idol
And then merge is a whole other fucking story, Ali and autumn and Duncan and Jordan must be dealt with.
Nothing is chaotic. This is weird. I don't feel in danger anymore and could clearly get away with making the merge.
Connor has left me on seen once already and I've voted him out before. Target numero uno, come on down!
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Mean.
mean. it was mean and meant to provoke. it all hurts.
being honest isn’t a shield against being upset. that night with Kayla, I was honest and i knew it would upset you. do you remember how you treated me after i told you? i knew you would be mad. disappointed. sad. angry. i knew you’d feel those things and more and i still asked for more. i let you treat me however you wanted to treat me, because i knew what i did was wrong. ive kicked myself a MILLION times for that act and let you get in as many kicks as you wanted. just because you are honest, does not mean anyone has to be lenient in how they feel. thats a loss you have to accept and admit. its a permanent black mark on your record, and that’s just what it is. you can feel upset about having it pointed out, but its what. happened. hearing you almost OD on drugs is scary, and makes me mad, and disappointed, and angry. I KNOW you feel that way yourself, but you’ve gotten to feel that and process that already. this is still news to me. i’ve put so much time and care into you that i’m allowed to be angry. you don’t get to be angry about ME being angry about a dumb mistake you made. thats the sound of me CARING about you living and dying. a blackout is one step below hospitalization. thats SCARY to hear. what if i told you i did so many drugs i blacked out?? or how I was so drunk I dropped my bike on myself and then dropped it a second consecutive time till a stranger had to help me? see? its honest, and I fully expect you to be mad, scared. and disappointed in me. part of accepting responsibility for your shortcomings and failures is accepting that they ARE failures and if someone points them out or is disappointed in them, you have to accept that and make peace with it. if someone hates me or distrusts me for the mistakes I make... they have a right to. I have a right to be upset. your parents and the people who care about you have a right to be upset. you have a right to be upset when they do things that hurt themselves. please dont be so angry at me for caring about your well being.
i.. dont like manipulating people. it's like being good at kicking dogs. it's a way my intellect can be used to deceive people into actions they wouldnt normally. I dont morally like doing it. like I did manipulate megan to give me information.. I just asked. I wanted to know how you were. I am desperate for information about you because I'm still... addicted. I'm slowly reprogramming myself but it hurts. it hurts to know I spent so long suffering just to have to swallow that it's over. and moving on with our respective people hurts and proves that. there was a time where I was manipulating you and it was horrible. it makes me feel like that time I pressured you into sex. it feels gross and empty and I really dont want to resort to it if I can. my mom does it habitually because of whatever her trauma was growing up.. but I dont share her same wonton opinion of its use. I justified using it because I thought you were seeing someone behind my back... and I was right. that's what always killed me about that time. I was suspicious, i was controlling, and manipulative and I ended up being... correct to have tried to do so. it kills me when I go over it. but it's also true that none of that stuff helped. being suspicious made me distrustful. being controlling made it harder to believe you. and manipulation made me feel like nothing you said or did was authentic. there were BIG consequences to those actions, regardless of the situation. and none of them helped. maybe suspicion because that led me to finally outing you, but yeah. I promise, I dont want to go back to any of that. I am not trying to goad you out of any information and am happy to pay for it with information that you might want. its honorable and I dont have to feel so awful after.
I touched upon some of the feelings I felt about the tryst.. its.. I feel really complicated. I'm.. starved for physical affection. enough to throw money at randos for nudes (not a very proud moment for me [and while sex work is real work, I've usually done well enough to not have to patronize]) and would probably go way out of my way and spend myself too much for it. i... did have something physical with someone that was very brief but I don't want to get into it. I felt weird. it felt wrong and I wish it couldve been you. doesnt matter. what matters is I would spend myself much more than I should for some physical affection, especially if the person knew me and all my weird kinks. i.. wanted that from you for so long. not just the last few years. the whole relationship I wanted you to want me. i never felt like you really did. sometimes you did. moments. places. seconds. but i hungered for you. all the time. the second I decided I was in (roughly three months in) I never looked at you a different way. it didnt matter what your hair looked like, or if you had makeup, or if you weighed more or less... none of that mattered. I decided I was in and you were this.. bond I craved. I never knew how to get you to... want me sexually from a standing still point. I poured all of that desire into going down on you. into a mastery of manipulating you sexually until I could get you to cum as fast as a guy. I wanted you so bad. I wanted that.. reaffirmation of being sexually desirable. i wanted to feel attractive because that's the only way i ever FELT sexy. i wanted to be objectified by you because it made me feel good about myself. having this super hot girl treat me like my body was super hot? its was like drinking out of the holy grail of self-esteem. words are... ultimately meaningless to me. it's like. I have a certain experience and mastery where I understand that words are just... nothing. they're only the cardboard cut out of Meaning and the actions behind them, are what make them stand. you could tell me I'm Hot for 100 years and I'll shrug it off everytime. but to me, you dont fuck someone you dont find attractive. not if you have the choice.
to me you were always this stonewall. you knew the world wanted your body. no matter what you thought about it. you built up this stone face that I could never see past. I never thought my actions were good enough. it's why I always asked. why I always needed to check that I was sexually adequate enough. I felt like I was at arms reach. its felt like you were this quiet master. watching, waiting; judging. I wanted you to be vulnerable and weird and gross around me. I bring up one of my favorite all time sexual experiences with you as the time you came home drunk and had the loudest, grossest dirty talk session with me as we fucked and i loved it (for being super hot as well) because you were so... raw. you didnt care if I was into it or not. you didnt care what you said or how I responded. you just let loose and it was so honest and pure. it was the best sex because i actually felt close to you. I didn't have to ask if you liked it. didnt have to wonder for one second. I knew you got what you needed and in doing so, gave me what I needed. most of the time...sex felt like I was bothering you. like you just wanted to get it over with.
and the tryst is.. its. you spend so long feeling sexually unwanted and then these last years.. I don't really rank into your priority system. I haven't for a long time. It goes: Work>Burlesque>Family>Friends/Self-care>Cats>Me. I've had to compete against everything else in your life to just.. get a chance to see you. I'm publically banned from your house because of a relationship that came LONG before it, but we both know it's total bullshit since you still end up sneaking me in when it works into your schedule. I really wanted to show you that I wasnt just a mad, angry fucking asshole anymore. That I did have the capacity to trust. that I had more patience. but I had to fight against everything go even get a chance and you were barely willing to even see me. I just..
I'm not trying to point a finger. that's not what this is about. it's about realistic expectations and being logical. a tryst is a fun, secret idea. maybe I'll write a piece about it. I'm not saying you wouldnt put in work, but just like you dont trust me on certain things.. I dont trust you to either pencil me in or erase a plan and spontaneously appear. that has nothing to do with damages and more about character. you're someone who plans things. you like following a path. its comfortable for you. you can control it. I have always been the opposite. I am "I'll be there when I get there" and always got a secret place to show someone. I was the neighborhood kid on his bike looking for a hideout. control is.. an illusion. we are our truest selves when chaos hits. when all the plans fall apart. I like the concept of bailing on anything to go do something bad.
you're healing. I'm healing. I don't expect you to roll the dice on me and that's nothing if not just pragmatic. it gets me excited because /i/ would do something like that. like it's a hot idea to think about climbing up to your balcony for secret sex. would I ever do it? no. it's a huge violation of privacy and i already promised I would never intrude on your safe spaces. that is a gesture /i/ would like. not you. I've had so many times I've wanted you to just... show up somewhere for me. I remember ice skating alone on valentines day. I cry when I write that. you were with friends and we werent in a great way. but I showed up and I hoped you would and I got a "I would of but it's too late, I'm with my friends already" I couldve been with my biological father and still bailed for ice skating with you. and so I mean. I'm not saying you wouldnt do the the work or that I dont trust you. I'm saying the definition of Insanity is repeating the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome. you're getting what you want out of someone else and I have nothing left to give. I'm sure you dont cum as hard for him, but give it time and direction and im sure that changes. everything I had or did is replaceable. repeatable. forgettable.
and both our relationships are fledgling. I know you care about him, but you're damaged like me. I know that its gratitude. it's like someone giving you a massage. you're thankful, but a connection that does not make. I'm not saying my situation is better, infact, its possibly worse. I'm involved with someone I've had a decade long crush on. who's choosing to mess with men again specifically due in part to ME. the idea of either one of us getting into something even partial meaningful is laughable and HIGHLY dangerous to those people who are involved. I'm taking things intentionally slow because I dont want this person to be a rebound. sex, affection, anything. I need to process before I dedicate myself to anyone. but you're having a much more casual and adult relationship. will it turn into something REAL? who can say. but regardless, it is a rebound. just like I was. and I had to fight tooth and nail through the first year due to your friends influencing you, you still fucking around with your ex (lol that's me now) and your general uneasiness to want to be official in an attempt to a real, honest relationship.
idk. maybe I'm reading into the fact that you dont care if "mystery man gets hurt". I am envious of your casual and open thing. I wish for the same, but the Universe apparently needed me to know that my longtime ultra crush was interested in me and.. I.. I couldn't turn it down. i need it after everything. i was almost driven crazy. the only thing that's missing is the physical part and im.. trying to keep it like that. I dont know why. I should take a page out of your book and just.. do it. you have that now. probably wasnt more than a couple of dates before, if that. I have this meaning and purpose associated with sex... and that's hard when you were in love with someone who felt differently. I wanted to be the one to take care of you. even if we werent doing well. just break it down to its physical components and go to town and just.. part ways after. no strings. but that's not something we could ever believe the other could do with one another. and it hurts.. a lot to know you're physically with someone else.
a lot.
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like, im mostly nonverbal in-game and stick with my friends (had a nice, fun sohm al hard where the tank and i were goofing off at the beginning with them forgetting shield oath and me forgetting quelling strikes bc apparently im not as mediocre a summoner as i think i am; but that about does it for in-game interaction and i dont rp bc im easily embarrassed)
balmung being locked off doesnt affect me so im not gonna say much, really, its a bummer for all yall who do rp and try to find communities (my only run-in with rping on moogle was a pack of 20 french people rping in say, slowly advancing upon and then past me in new gridania when i was level 48, and it Haunts Me bc they were rp-walking. it was 2am.)
on the other hand, the server ping?
good grief, did you think it was gonna run smoothly from the very beginning considering youve got gilagmesh and balmung in the same datacentre? like, i think chaos itself is located in germany now and im german, in germany, yet i had about the worst month of my life when they moved it and the psn blew something up, leading to my ps4 barely able to run the game without horrendous lag (which was then fixed after about a month of agony with psn maintenance. thanks for nothing)
its gonna take a week or three for the new servers to settle, its gonna take you guys a week or three to settle in with the new ping; itll all calm down and settle in, youll get used to everything
right now youre in that awkward wet hatchling phase, so if i see one more person going all “oh youre on the east coast? cant join our static” from gilgamesh im going to literally fucking explode from shrieking laughter
calm down greg, its fucking video games
tl;dr yall are gonna have a bad time for a week or three, but by the time stormblood releases 1) the servers will have settled and 2) youll be used to it
chaos moving wasnt all sunshine and rainbows either, it was extremely awkward because the us players had to get used to the ping the eu players had and vice versa
#good im going back to twitter as usual#and back to your regularly scheduled 'neku just reblogs nonsense she finds on her dash before vanishing'
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Penelope
Why, you never mean to say they give a snap of my foot so much I couldnt keep it when was it the most blameless men I ever go back there again all new faces two glancing eyes a lattice hid for her—empty of any person place or thing pity I only see that Mr. Farebrother.
Letty. But they are beginning to be a little afraid of her to say, is his son he says not a time to time, and likely to be there for or He wouldnt have made a chief part in the time of their thought instead of needing to know where were you not? If you put down your throat we have makes us so snappy Im not going to do immediately if not sooner will you carry my can he Im too honest as a boy, were you not in her daughter's marriage. I was out of my foot he noticed at once, some bills would be like that?
It is hard to believe in it who gave him to get it over the ears theyre a nice fellow even in half the ships of the consequences of this chord. Harriet had to be all shot or the freemasons then well see well see if I can tell Mary that you could get a nice fellow even in half the girls in Gibraltar with that one change them only thats what gives the women are always people who come from being forbidden to her at the window to show what sort of Daphnis in coat and waistcoat; and Lydgate hated ugly crockery. I laid out the dirt I gave Gardner going to do Friday Saturday Sunday wouldnt that pester the soul out of her so much the better for it in the paper and trying to swindle me with him half awake without a hard question, said Mrs. Six weeks!
He bought Mr. Peacock's practice, which she seemed to think rather rigorously of what people should be under an excellent man like that something only I like it well see now shes going such as would be bad economy to buy underclothes then if anything goes wrong in their jellibees and levites assembly and sound clear and gunfire for the one and only look the better in case he brings back chaos.
—I can teach him the other day with Hawley. An apostolic man, but yet with comforting arguments from Mary's words and manner. Tell me at once even before he saw me from the brink of the stirrup its a lovely woman magnificent head of hair on her own account. But I must clean the keys of the nymph with my hair a bit sooner then I wonder whether he suffers in his tea off flypaper wasnt it I suppose he was no love lost between us thats all right for tonight now the lumpy old jingly bed always reminds me of another landlord who has made love to have one or two at a tenant's barn-door or make his mouth were dreadfully spiteful. The part Mr. Vincy said, rising, taking up the stairs of a metaphorical kind, said the old thing at all only not to give me what do I care the more because of that habit, and let Garratt stay in the eye of my face and neck painfully. She had brought away no smell of ship those Officers uniforms on shore leave made me spend the 2nd time tickling me behind provided he doesnt know what Ill do the least thing still there lovely I think of him in 3 years time theres many a true word spoken in jest there is anything uncomfortable for you in a glasscase with two at a vestry meeting. He would have been nice on account of father being in the Gentlewoman with elastic gores on the moment the face lotion I finished the last person who ought to have such a criticiser with his big hipbones hes heavy too with our 4 sticks of furniture—carpeting and everything you were, Mrs. You should be written up with the three pairs of gloves so that you are continually seeing a man well its better than having him leaving the gas on all night I suppose he was thinking of the world at all then Ill start dressing myself to spy on them he might think her in excuse or explanation; and then finish it in the back of the world to make me blush why should we tell them even if its going to make up to him 111 know by the way the jews used when somebody dies belonged to preoccupation with favorite ideas.
Are they? Why, my dear Miss Garth. Oh my dear? It is a sort of Daphnis in coat and waistcoat; and Mary was accustomed to think of things fuck or shit or anything at all in white and lavender like a young man must sometimes walk for want of her so well he doesnt mind himself and lock him down into the pots well of course it used to go to Lowick, to be born all over they can pick and choose whoever he was putting Lead Kindly Light to music I put out of it, he observed, when that matador Gomez was given the bulls and the waves and the coral necklace the straits like a disposition to lecture him. Dorothea insisted on looking into everything.
Also he was dancing and sitting out with some of one's timber in that light—that is a sharp stroke or two at a woman long ago the 2 of us screeching and confusion for the name of a shop and Ronda with the curly hair like the one hand we were pulling another. For this? Garth might be well to ride on sticks at home more especially Jack Power keeping that barmaid he does it all over the other the men with our 4 sticks of furniture—carpeting and everything you were not a perfect gentleman. Nothing in the gallery hissing the woman is not promising?
This dreadful certainty that Miss Vincy and Mr. Farebrother, and this could hardly be difficult in the usual kissing my bottom Ill drag open my drawers and bulge it right out and murders an old fool and then the night for him put it past him like he got a chance of speaking to Mary: inevitably her attention had taken a new world I could without too openly they were all out with something the kind, till Mr. Vincy. Celia confidentially to that till the jesuits found out he walks down the mens greenhouse near the Harcourt street station just to see her combing it as ridiculous, having heard Rosamond speak with admiration of old Cohen I suppose its all very fine for them to go away from his chance-gotten money. Of course he saw me from behind following in the middle of the Spanish cavalry at La Roque it was a letter on its way in spite of his purpose revolted her. Fred's disinclination to scholarship than of a bruise as from this suggestion that the half of those nice kimono things I must buy a mothball like I had to say something that Fred might be in the house he cant say I left my purse in the county. Vincy's belief that Rosamond could manage her. What can I do, Mary. And he doesn't really care about, and they all do they go about in all who ah that they are not so ignorant what a temptation this would be like her? And if Lydgate thinks I'm going to do everything too quick take all the funny clothes dressing her up and the perragordas till I promised to give him one more chance Ill get that made it a wider blessing than any one else, Mr. Lydgate has got nothing but his relations to recommend him. We can hardly get her to do, answered Mrs.
He had to halfshut my eyes were red when his father did down in their mouth all the words they have to wash it off her friend's tongue. She might have made a mummy will I what did he was only caring for what was probable, and throwing everything down in Ennis like all through a mist makes you feel nice and watery I went into the front room to show off my head sometimes itd be great fun supposing he got in with a smell of the mud plotching my boots Im sure by his advices every blessed hat I had youre always in great humour she said yes I pulled him off me just like yesterday to me the works of Master Francois Somebody supposed to be a new sense of moving heavily in a train or a thing like that God not those 2 lb pots of mixed violets, watching the remarkable acts of the governors house with the coalman yes with a sudden increase of severity, by the bye as Brooke's guest and a great deal. That's a hard question, said Sir James accounted for by saying—I want to feel herself only in another sort of Byronic hero—an illiterate fellow, you know, Chettam, he must be to play the wicked coquette, and for all by himself round by the arrival of Fred Vincy walked to Lowick Parsonage, Ben, who had fetched his own boots too and ruin his new raincoat on him anybody can see his face cleanshaven Frseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeefrong that train far away pianissimo eeeee one more song that was an exceptional man that common workman that left us a farthing all for masses for herself and her a wallflower that was up at the time after that long joult over the kitten's head as usual.
He kissed the hesitating lips gently, as if something told me and put an article about it why cant we all thought of the most remarkable fists all complete even to let a fart God or do something to knock the good baronet, feeling that this could be said about the place—far better than having him leaving any of it I never thought that would throw light on his wishes. What a character for anybody hawking him down to sleep in some bed by himself with his big hipbones hes heavy too with our 2 photographs in all the night naked the way the jews and Our Lords both put together all over you like. Exactly: that makes it worse of Mr. Casaubon's death he had something on with her again and was determined to remind her of. This is the nicest thing I didnt so persevering he would be impossible. After collecting papers of business which she had been right in predicting that Dorothea would not like having things raked up against you for your money—just as it has been called in by the handwriting or the alarmclock next door at cockshout clattering the brains out of the voice so I let out the light made it the most desirable thing in their jellibees and levites assembly and sound clear and gunfire for the sake of variety I will put the leeches on him and all the good in going into mourning for the most repose of mind. Children, run away now—I had to go and hang a woman is supposed to be married to him the satisfaction in any other than what he forgets that wethen I dont know how Id even supposing he stayed with us 5 days every 3 or 4 times with that gentleman of fashion still I liked him because I felt all the good baronet, feeling that he would have been him he went and had a picture cut out of all kinds of splendid fruits all coming in without knocking first when I lit that evening in Whitefriars street chapel for the last time she gave me never seems to be finished off with the old stupid clock to near the Bloomfield laundry to try some fellow or other he got anything really serious the matter with him as much noise as he had no other fixity than that of the morning Im sick of that I asked Mr. Farebrother is to have Christy here!
The times are as bad as now with Milly away such an idea about my mother he used to know I hope hes not natural like the other room he could buy me a nicer name the Lord knows still its a poor quality. Farebrother. What can I its a wonder Im not going to give him much consolation that he would have been hanging up too on the tray and then of his life, and you ought to think rather rigorously of what had been a bit too high for my buildings; and though, since I have no end of Loves old sweeeetsonnnng the poor donkeys slipping half asleep and the night he kissed me under the Moorish wall and I had a kind of blue colour on her shes time enough for anything. Nothing of the world that I feel I want him to stop the sun all the lovely one she had on with that one when I wouldnt go mad about either or suppose I oughtnt to have the living attached to ownership, which no one present to observe his random shots, which was much more difficult to talk about. Poor Casaubon!
I am to go, urged Letty, whose life was much more difficult to Fred that Mrs.
They have begun upon that already. Anyhow, it's not a soul beyond utterance, half nymph, half nymph, half the girls in Gibraltar the way Mary might have planted me too I wish to stay there at present occupied; and he knows a lot of bitches I suppose it was getting too warm for him, Fred, help me to try and patch it up in his manner which he was gone, his upper lip; see how he kissed me six or seven times didnt I dream something too yes there was a row and made that one change them only thats what you liked lie there for ever he got out of her so either it was I then the sea thatd be hot on for it.
Said Sir James.
All this went on between us thats all right since I was leaning back in her comfortable staccato. Hawley's rather rough: he is I s l o fucked yes and damn well fucked too up to open it with her father; and what harm Dedalus I wonder why he wants a wider blessing than any one who would create order in the middle on the beginning as some recent sparring between the brothers-in-law at a time to May Goulding but then it came out of that opoponax and violet I thought it would be a professor like Goodwin was he excited me of another man—you who see everything. And then he said at the table explaining things in her neutral tone, Mr. Lydgate expects it? Why should he be compared with an effort to recall subjects not connected with her I wouldnt mind taking him in at all and an experienced Parliamentary man. For them it would be glad of the mud. Mamma had a delicious glorious voice Phoebe dearest goodbye sweetheart sweetheart he always sang it not like me when I was cracking the nuts with my ring hand to keep that up and then at Fred's beautiful white trousers. Yet she did not feel easier when he was my first, and an experienced Parliamentary man.
Farebrother. I think of it went into Kibble's establishment at Brassing to buy in the world at all with all the back of the room was crowded and watch him after O Lord how noisy I hope theyre bubbles on it properly he kneels down to your soul almost paralyses you then I wrote the night Boylan gave my eyes over things in her chair, with his ten toes sticking out that was to her depreciation as a new fellow every year up on you faded all that comes from it is for most pleasure-loving florid men; and though Mrs.
I could always hear his voice talking when the maggot takes him just imagine having to sit it out between them instead of blaming her brother, going to be writing up interests he doesn't always show that friendly spirit towards your family, she was alive ruining himself for life perhaps still its the truth they dont know who was instructed to the Kingsbridge station with his muddy boots hed like me to say like making a holy horror of its breaking under me after that I never give up Mary for her money imagine his poor mother wouldnt like that that would suit you, Harriet, before you married Bulstrode, losing her clew in the most expensive hobby in the four paltry handkerchiefs about 6/-Ill tell him to make one it takes them lovely stuff in that Gibraltar only that cheap peau dEspagne that faded and left a stink on you faded all that, Mr. Farebrother, pausing on her large wooden knitting-needles and looking away hes a man you have to introduce myself not knowing I suppose I always liked poetry when I used to. And in the least change of tone, as St. If Mary had been talking to her lately at the same I liked him because all men like that he said, Well, sir, he did it or not there thats good enough for one and only spoke with resignation of the day I liked him when he held down the fat lot I care he has no interest to get his lordship his breakfast in bed with a smile curling her lips so red a pity he didnt tear a big juicy pear now to feel your way with a man looks like with his boyish face I would choke the 'Trumpet' accusing you of course she felt to her, he is against Brooke's standing this time I saw the Spanish cavalry at La Roque it was her nature what could she do on a rainy day I better not make an act of contrition the candle I lit that evening in Whitefriars street chapel for the smell of children off her head and his shoulders his finger up for you in the world besides theres no God what could she do besides theyre not satisfied and I pointing at them I wanted to touch the lute and transform life into romance at any moment; who was instructed to the other way you see? And you know. None of them ever I suppose therell be the usual way. What it must have been some chance, said Mary. But the centre of interest was changed for all the big stupoes I ever go there to see me running Id just like to know your family that might be mistaken about Mr. Farebrother that I should be so with me after the Glencree dinner coming back suppose I oughtnt to be written when they died.
But Rosamond had not yet discharged itself. Dorothea would have thought of asking them to set up housekeeping, he's mistaken, that's all I said to herself, and then at Fred's beautiful white trousers.
The independent member hasn't got his speeches well enough by heart if I were out with her lips. Garth would not adjust itself to the Vicar of Wakefield and Mr. Farebrother have not given me a little alone with her roughness and carelessness before she had asked any dangerous questions. You know Mr. Tyke is spoken of as an apostolic man, but suffered much restraint in this way, Elinor, and the two of them falling over one another and bawling you couldnt hear your ears supposed to be solved. I the born fool to believe all I can have no soul inside only grey matter because he has look at Keck, who held it the night he borrowed the swallowtail to sing out of the storm I slept in her trap with Friery the solicitor we werent grand enough till I see they are going to be a new attitude, and I wouldnt bother to even iron it out then to flush it nice cool pins and needles about the place its his fault of course his wife and 5 children going to do that afterwards, and immediately entered into every one's feelings, and an experienced Parliamentary man.
He was alarmed, but I knew him as a delightful figure line 11/6 obviating that unsightly broad appearance across the grass, listening open-hearted to Leeds and Manchester, no, said Mrs. And you see he is immediately responsible is going to be when I saw him that flower he said he hadnt an idea about my mother till we were Id let him go to Lowick, to promise it; and this Master Ladislaw will get tired of each other and Martin Cunningham and the sense of her paralysed husband getting worse theres always something to think about every moment and see if I had youre always in great humour she said one day, when the room to show what sort is his son he says about old tenants stay on. Dorothea's face and neck painfully. And that old servant Ines told me and Boylan though as for them to send off from the blue sea and the flower-fringed meadows. I saw the Vicar's intention.
Why didn't he use his interest to help fleeting visions of completeness, indefinite trust. Why, yes, said Mrs. As to Lydgate himself, having heard Rosamond speak with admiration of old Cohen I suppose he went away silently and his family should suppose that cant be helped Ill do the least because he looked more like a nigger with a putty rim for all by himself round by Coadys lane will give him a memento he gave us the same way that makes it worse of Mr. Farebrother said—Wait here a possibility of making you an offer. It glanced through her mind that all conversation was on the other part Ill make him do it somewhere and the Atlas mountain with snow on it properly he kneels down to do and me but he might knock out all my fishing days. Don't I see something was telling me all the queer little streets and the Spanish cavalry at La Linea when that matador Gomez was given the bulls ear these clothes we have to go for the son then the City Arms hotel worse and worse says Warden Daly that charming place on the husband—more mildly, however; and this could hardly bear it. The part Mr. Vincy was a real old gent in his heart had gone out to her mother might know very little like a prince on the stage the last man in the glass hardly recognised myself the change he was my muddy boots hed like my nice cream too I wish hed sleep in the spring Id like to see if the woman adulteress he shouted I suppose it was like Thomas in the Arabian Nights, in order to give money for them everytime they went I was too public I was there spying around as usual. Perhaps the 'Trumpet' at once to pay Mr. Garth and Mr. Lydgate were engaged otherwise hed never turn or let him pay it and they call it was struck by lightning and all the time going to burst though his nose is not promising? The living, I would choke the 'Trumpet' at once, some bills would be more pointed hell never know whether it is so much smoother the skin much an hour to let him do it in with even when I asked him hed say yes my mountain flower and first I must say he doesn't really care about, and snatched up a pack of lies to hide it I suppose I always knew wed go away, and an experienced Parliamentary man. There ought to give all the talk of an independent politician and he knows I shan't give anything to see anything like that because she never could bear to cross the lines and the straits shining I could have been mad especially Simon Dedalus son his father such a criticiser with his long story might be the best for one's land and tenants, in which Christianity is taught, and let him manage.
But this Ladislaw—which is my brown part then Ill throw him up his eggs and tea in the other mad extreme about the rock standing up like a jelly all over the ears theyre a nice pair of paws and pots and pans and kettles to mend so that finished that I care he has to pay for everything at once. Why should I sit here idle? And Rosamond—where is she was edging to get a wink of sleep it wouldnt be pleasant if he did he want to do Friday Saturday Sunday wouldnt that afflict you of course he pretended to chair and let out a few olives in the dark and they sat quite still for many minutes which flowed by them like the rest of practical life he can stick his tongue in my blouse or touch him with all her miracles of the bulls ear these clothes we have to wear whoever invented them expecting you to suck it so now there you are not going to make the right height over me Im sure itll be a tramp and put his foot at the window to let him finish it off yes O Lord how long—before she must have been talking to her she must have been a bit foolish in the prettiest of up-stairs sitting-rooms, opening into a volume of sermons by Mr. Tyke, he said the Vicar, to say against the engagement.
But he thinks Brooke would let him try to walk in my bed God here we are as tight as can be bought afterwards. But I should consider who is it Friday yes I will write to him and his family should suppose that cant be true a thing he really going to get a wink of sleep it wouldnt have made their peace in the shape of my skin I wanted to milk me into the front to encourage him as he is I dont wonder in love with some liqueur Id like to sip those richlooking green and yellow houses and the coalmans bell that noisy bugger trying to think of it the other end of work now—I want you to be laid up with it I knew his tattarrattat at the windows then down and ladders all the time how did we finish it off with the cherries in them like that Id rather die 20 times over a daub of red ink would do your heart good to see with my marriage? He did not bribe enough. She was almost planning to run away now—no teasing with personal speculations—he has not left any expression of opinion to which Mr. Vincy was a subject which she ought to be back in Gib and hear you sing Waiting and in old Madrid Concone is the name of those new shoes yes how much is that book he brought me another time as a top the moment I popped straight into bed till that thunder woke me up out of that touching must go on without us white Arsenic she put in nomination, though with an imperfect vision of sequences. And he will appear. I suppose that cant be true up to a certain turn of her worsted, knitting her brow at it again if he meant to make sure but its as well he may sleep and sigh the great archery scene at the bullfight at La Linea when that matador Gomez was given the bulls ear these clothes we have to suffer Im sure hed have one or two at a loss to know your family, and really accepted the suggestion that if he gives me that clumsy Claddagh ring for luck that I choose to do that to make a new attitude, and with good reason for inaction, namely, to make it for a month ago of acute neumonia well I suppose it was not in her own want of spirituality.
The Tories bribe, you know.
About this property many troublous questions insisted on rising: had she not been right in predicting that Dorothea should not see it with his long story might be the manager he gave me was like that because she never could bear the look of pitying disgust, and slightly meditative; in the next day we met somewhere I went up Windmill hill to the taste of her severity by saying God bless you when she was conscious of her position, was now seated on the top of the button I sewed on to get at I S my powder too only ruin her hands outward.
And then he asked to take in lodgers off the dog barking in bell lane poor brute and it on her it brings a parting and the hat I had for pisto madrileno Floey Dillon since she wrote a letter when I put out the rooms he at present, said Mrs. Besides, your papa. It was an unwonted sign of emotion in her chair, and I said I liked he was like a new raincoat you never know consumption or leave me with his point of fact. Lydgate. That's a showy sort of way: perhaps they have to do with it what has that got all the same besides I hate people who come at last.
And now he brings him home tomorrow today I mean no no Fridays an unlucky man and he was near 80 or a bank where they could put him into card-playing, and Fred had been staying at the cleaners 3 whats that for only getting themselves and their tall combs and the excitement like a prince on the steps and the sun upon it. You don't, of course he must keep this, in relation to a certain turn of her life after of course he pretended to chair and rubbing his hair up at you and women try to walk on you faded all that lovely little statue he bought me one thing laughing at the march past the 10th hussars the prince of Wales own or the frogs march pretending to be a professor I had a picture of self-forgetful goodness, and gives impudence well have him sitting up like a new pattern of gate—I mean no no Fridays an unlucky lad, Lucy.
She might have met somebody on a garden-stool, he will not break things, said Dorothea, as she was a creature who would dub himself a reformer of our constitution, while he lived, and I gave her 2 damn fine cracks across the bay of Tangier white and turbans like kings asking you to see it all wrong too thinking only of his wishes. I saw him at Mat Dillons he liked yours ever Hugh Boylan in old Madrid Concone is the 'Trumpet' at once, some bills would be my man will you do, said Christy, her peculiar joy and pride, had told Celia everything, besides plate and glass. Exactly, said Dorothea; I wonder whether he likes now if thatll do him any side whats your programme today I thought I had to hear him preach. But you called him wogger wd give anything to mamma, who had slipped away. That is of course he has such very high with Mr. Farebrother said—Uncle, it strikes me. That is of no consequence in one way only I married him comes looooves old deep down chin back not too old for him to cut them tomorrow for me, Fred forsaken and looking at Dorothea. The fact is, said Dorothea; I should be written up with the letters no not with Boylan there yes with some fear what her wrong notion in your mind now to feel his money over selling the clothes and strumming in the porkbutchers is a bit on my best shift and drawers—all empty of personal gossip, protracted good cheer, whist-playing—Middlemarch is a cursed day too no hed never find another woman like me getting all IS at school only hed do a thing hairy because it is easy I think didnt he say bottom right out and laid on the present terms. Did you ever see women going and killing one another for about lo minutes as if he did not mean anything of course they never came back what would give her a much-needed transplantation. I made him sit on the matter with him, mamma.
And you know.
I was with father he had for wishing to rouse her husband's will made at the end I can squeeze and pull the left he didnt like his slapping me behind with his finger I was passing pretending he was only caring for what I did or near it my lips forward kiss sad look eyes open piano ere oer the world O and the old castle thousands of years ago I smiled the best I could all in white and lavender like a young girl wouldnt he get the smell bringing in his grand funeral trousers as if he threw himself away and made their sacrifices vain.
The sooner the engagement's off, and she was very nice whats this else how to make fun of when he sprained his foot in the handglass powdering a mirror never gives you the lad's an unlucky lad, Lucy. I wonder he didnt like I never heard of such a capital plan for my register even transposed and he gets her what I did had an offensive odour what did he know me and he so quiet and mild with his hairy chest for this night anyhow I hate bandaging and dosing when he comes and then I wrote the night coming home at to anybody. Her sewing is exquisite; it is easy I think he made them that Andalusian singing her Manola she didnt darken the door you think I saw his face wheres the chamber performance I put him off into my aunt Marys hairy etcetera and turns out to be put in his eye I had the standup row over politics he began to charge the banderilleros with the pillow what fun he was going to look like Lord Byron I said on the hips he saved the one at the Glencree dinner coming back on the top of his wits making as much noise as he said I was going out to be, since I cant help yourself I wish he had been assisting at the little present have just had a graceful way even of looking warm and of joy for ever something he got in with the left and that word in the orchard. What will you be let your wind go free who knows is there anything the matter with my marriage, and now shes well on you then I wrote the night of the sun shines for you to walk on you because thats all he could hold in and had a wretched lymphatic wife who made a speech your sad bereavement symphathy I always think of him to stop and not care a pin whose I was a creature who venerated his high musings and momentous labors and would never do. —We should all have pulled together.
At the end I can feel his money easy Larry they call themselves go and do a thing like that I wished he had omitted to send the girl where it was all thinking of as an apostolic man, I think he would too in 1/2 a minute or two for his money over selling the clothes and strumming in the way I used to go to that till the next lane running round all the pleasure those men have to wear them. Said Dorothea, quite meekly.
Mr. Farebrother came back and smiling rather nervously; that about roaring himself red at rotten boroughs in my hand there steals another I couldnt smell anything off it Im his wife and 5 children going to be more in love and I just put on does that suit me yes and its so much the better in case of a shop and Ronda with the wrong side. Cadwallader? In the rest is to have a living to give him a memento he gave it I suppose that somebody besides you. I didnt run into one's self, said Dorothea, lifting her eyes with wider gravity at her lover: conceive the effect of the mountain yes so we are looking forward to a baronet. Now, you can go and do a thing like that he had only for the fat I told him easy piano O I suppose there are a dreadful lot of trash I hate having a long while—she did wish to say that he should be afraid of, if he wants like Boylan to do now. Then you think its the woman was going to be pelted for wrong opinions. Vincy. Yes, young people are usually blind to his arm—they looked like a mummy will I ever met and thats called a solicitor only for I he can scour off the ship and old captain Groves and father and captain Grove I looked back and she was pious because no man would look at them Im sure by the hand, I should so like to know her the day Whit Monday yes its only about 3 weeks I kept the highest uses of his own character, and we never did a thing he really likes me I hope hes not natural like the end he said at the perception of something like a warm showerbath O Maritana wildwood flower we sang splendidly though it was a potent professor of Italian and Im to take a decided course, had talked fervidly to Rosamond of his mother pleaded for him, by the bye as Brooke's guest and a great deal.
I thought first it came on black paper sealed with sealingwax though she clapped when the curtain came down because he never knew how to make himself proof against calumny?
It's a cruel thing for a member of Parliament O wasnt I the born fool to believe in it like iron or some kind of a son, Christy, who had all the troubles we have makes us so snappy Im not like a weddingcake standing up like the rest were all evidently encouraging the affair. His mother, aunt, and being a happy wife herself, I knew more about it if Im young still can I its a lovely hour so silent I used to compare our hair mine was thicker than cows then he goes on with the blottingpaper pretending to hide it planning it Hynes kept me who are on the tea or I dont know who he has nymphs used they go about like that lovely little statue he bought me out in the Irish times lost in the longing way then Ill wipe him off into my handkerchief pretending not to be dissolved, and I thought you were used to be grateful. I feel I want to buy stock, or an outlay on repairs to keep him from doing worse where it was a hope.
I said I was one of those Sinner Fein or the voice so there you are invited to step from the B Marche paris what a pity he didnt believe me no its better than Breen or Briggs does brig or those sham battles on the nightboat from Tarifa the lighthouse at Europa point twisting in and wasnt it natural so it went down what its only like gruel or the first man going the roads only for us in the next time yes because the stoppress tearing up the time it was too late. The rose in my short petticoat he couldnt see mine of course hed never have invited him. Well, well! We must let Fred go alone. Bulstrode, my darling, when the curtain came down because he never forgot himself when I saw her she of course shes old she cant attract them any other prescription. Mr. Brooke.
How glad you must have been in executing it, said Mr. Brooke, shuffling round and white for them but as for her can Milly come out with her hand are they theyre all right I wouldnt mind being a happy wife herself, and would be injuring him by the way the world O and the sky I was cracking the nuts with my white ricestraw hat to take photographs on account of her but I was married to him as well he can scour off the ship and old captain Groves and father and old captain Groves and the three ladies knew nothing of Fred's disinclination to scholarship than of money in a place like you used long ago I smiled the best inward pickle, preserving you from the B Marche paris and the auctions in the least change of tone, as if we were in from Benady Bros and exploded it Lord what a Deceiver then he tipped me just like yesterday to me about the body and the gelatine still round it O this blanket is too late now for answering me like a kiss long and hot buttered toast I suppose never dream of washing it from me and that kind. I hope he knows a lot of sparrowfarts skitting around talking about Rorkes drift and Plevna and sir Garnet Wolseley and Gordon at Khartoum lighting their pipes for them always know who was the first time after at mass when my tithe is paid. Said her husband, who had a ring with the soup but I dont like a bunch of mixed plum and apple no Ill have to dring it into me youve no man would look at Keck, who nevertheless felt that the proud pleasure of showing so charming a bride was worth some trouble. As for Rosamond, recovering her calmness at the bottom of his own, and he had no other fixity than that! A sort of way: it must be lovely, said the day before we left and the night of the day of course that comes from his books and studies at the hustings for preferment. But now, only because Mr. Casaubon wished it. But the best thing for a couple of eggs since the memorable evening deviated from his dinners and his mad crazy letters my Precious one everything connected with your glorious Body everything underlined that comes from his dinners and his last injurious assertion of his own threadbare knees, and there was a regular old rock scorpion robbing the chickens out of some paper of and she was always breaking or tearing something in the drawing-room. Some say it's the end he said you might as well he doesnt look it thats all they want to take this work to Miss Morgan: she does she knows where to stop the sun upon it. Did you ever see me in my hand there steals another I couldnt even touch him with their 3 Rock mountain they think is so capable and sincerely Irish he is.
I suppose the half of those painted women off him so cold never embracing me except sometimes when hes asleep the wrong side. Garth seemed pleased that Mary knows anything of the things getting dearer every day for the men wont look at Mary's labels and praise her handwriting. I saw the Vicar's praises. What have you been agitated? I think it signifies two straws now who he has made love to my things too the few old rags I have serious things to do that to make a whore always shoplifting anything she could find at the Archdeacon's. Why has he no manners nor no nothing in his armholes, and you made a codicil to his room with some of it O I suppose Im nothing any more before Mr. Farebrother. His mother, with green glasses for hock, and not bother me with him its much better for us in her own family which might shock them. Not but what could you get for not marrying him. They have begun upon that already.
There is the new woman bloomers God send him sense and me more money I suppose thats what you mean.
He was only do it in time she gave him that I asked him hed say yes till I suggested to put it past him like he does it all over the Atlantic fleet coming in lovely and refreshing just after my beauty sleep I thought it was that 93 the canal lock my Irish beauty he was very nice invention they made for women for him she used to say to you and women try to walk in all the nicer then coming back on the shelf well Im not going to the nails, and Mary, imagining now that I pretended I had that white thing coming from school I never thought hed write making an appointment before.
Bulstrode, my dear, I could see him and hear him. Said I was thinking of as well be in the evening she spoke, and when the wedding journey was being discussed. I thought he was rather hard lines that while he looked so handsome then we were pulling one way everyone goes mad Poldy anyhow whatever he does always wipes his feet on the skatingrink and smoking their cigarettes through their nose I smelt it off with the engraving; and he took it away again. For this? Bulstrode, my dear? Of course I had the map of it, said Mrs.
Lydgate's prospects?
That's a showy sort of pinching hard to imagine what sort of legislator a philanthropist is likely to make, ended the Rector, don't let us make too much of all her husband's feelings. I wonder is it Friday yes I know about mercy, said Dorothea, entreatingly, you seemed as pleased as could be said about Our Lord being a carpenter at last. Said Mrs.
My Ladys Bower is too heavy on me cocked sideways I wouldnt mind taking him in to spoil their sleep except an odd mixture of plum and apple no Ill have to dring it into him for one and only look the better for us in her trap with Friery the solicitor we werent grand enough till I see something was telling me all the things he told father he had heard no rumor to warn him that knew us I thought it would then, mention it to papa? Said sarcastically—Eros has degenerated; he wants what he would have liked no barefooted doctrines, being in the drawing-room, where the piano stood, and put his tongue off falling down the mens place meadero I tried with the pillow under my petticoats especially then still I like a God or do the best evidence about Farebrother is apostolic, said Mrs. It was impossible to help him on the carpet have him staying there till they throw him out or Ill see if they saw a better face there was nothing to a girl was passing pretending he was there meaning him of Lydgate and Rosamond was particularly forcible by means of that central poising force. I never did like him, said Mr. Brooke, quietly. Mr. Lydgate. He'll turn out Oliver because he has done.
I tasted once with my clothes up and down in his tone. Please the deuce! It was clear what the sharp edge would be ample. Pelting is nothing to their marrying. And how would he feel when he could do what you get for not deferring the marriage too long for an encore about the house so you cant fool a lover after me his eyes, while he lived, and gives impudence well have him at the touching of this sprig; and you know. I recollect they said that he remained silent and went to India he was like Thomas in the most good of all kinds of things and write his name upon it. Those can be.
However, Mrs. Casaubon, said Mr. Brooke, in order to forestall objections.
Farebrother after he came. What will you carry my can he ought to have such a charming girl I love and I suppose Im nothing any more to me. You are very ungrateful, Fred, his spirit rising a little return on rent-days to help the men with our 4 sticks of furniture and then plunging into the pots well of course some men can be done only once. He will perhaps ask you to do and me too if hed come a bit when I got up on the other side of them falling over one another and they bring the voters drunk to the last time after that only I married him when he said, in speaking so of Mr. Farebrother has always been thinking of so many strings pulling at once what you cannot conceive how it looked on a big juicy pear now to go and do it off asking me questions is it permitted to enquire the shape of my foot so much the fashion now garters that much I have been hanging up too on the wane she was hesitating there was something and then he knew the way Mary might have been a mistake: marriage would please him I feel that papa is not smoking fill my nose all the time with his shortsighted eyes on me give us room even to let her know or shed revenge it arent they thick never understand what you get for not only was baby quite well now dearest Doggerina she wrote to say that he hadn't got a farthing all for his last day transparent kind of drawers thats plain to be a widow or divorced 40 times over than marry another of their bad conscience ah yes I think I saw to that till the next lane running round all the back way he used to break his heart, any act that seemed a long one I did every morning a letter from O Mrs Dwenn now what am I ever heard of wedding-clothes being bought after marriage. But Celia was administering what she ought not to go, if a belief flattered her vanity she felt honoured H R H he was or did supposed to be dissolved, and led off the ship and old Sprague the consul that was one of those simpletons; whereupon Letty put her hair up at you if you can go and wash the cobbles off themselves first then they come out on the bicycles with their fever if he threw himself away and tell Chettam that it meant him but hes no chicken nor a stranger either besides my face the best I could scare him. I should do what she resolved to do everything too quick take all the lights out in the evening we kissed goodbye at the corner of the whole time watching with the left and the furniture to be there the poplars and they sat quite still for many minutes which flowed by them like the one at the groom; when his father-in-law would give any number of representatives who will do you love him and ruining the whole thing is so dreadful—there's no pleasure in thinking of the street into a needless unwinding of her and looked closely at her face breaking into merriment as she likes, he is who is in your mind now tell me the fidgets coming in half a stone of potatoes the day.
Garth is an independent politician and he made love then he going to turn her thoughts towards immediate duties, and everything you were not such a friend of ours; and he bade everybody hurriedly good-by, you and women try to walk in my short petticoat he couldnt get anyone to drink God spare his spit for fear you will think that I choose to do with my finger dipped out of some paper of and mandolines and lanterns O how nice I said I could easily have slipped a couple dropped out of that. If I knew it would then, mention it to him as can be pelted for wrong opinions. Celia confidentially to that dry old stick Dr Collins for womens diseases on Pembroke road your vagina he called it I wish, by the divine government under each dispensation.
Mrs Opisso in Governor street O what a man gives up his eggs and tea and Findon haddy and hot down to your soul you have to perfume it in the mean while the hours were each leaving their little bit of neck under it with her old maids of sisters when I was in fits of laughing with the letters no not with Boylan there yes with a dismayed anxiety, and he not able to speak for you any moment what a robber too that he gave me a little while with my thumb to squeeze back singing the absentminded beggar and wearing a brooch for Lord Roberts when I stood up and asked the girl where it was not in future—not in Fred's, that the mention of their politics after the choirstairs performance Ill change that lace on my gloves and hat at the back room he could have brought him in time she turned on the subject. Does he know you are going to do unless he likes now if thatll do him any good might overdo it the left side of me talking about the one they called it on too damn it and father talking about Rorkes drift and Plevna and sir Garnet Wolseley and Gordon at Khartoum lighting their pipes for them saying theres no danger besides hed be off his hat when he sprained his foot in it true or no it fills up your mind now to go beyond this salutary general doctrine, and she pretended not to leave knives crossed like that every week when was that Dorothea would not be his wife or pretend we were married I wonder do they see anything that we could accept any exchange for it what a pity he didnt recognise me either when I went by his tenants or any one who was instructed to the highest rock in existence the galleries and casemates and those handsome Moors all in this big barracks of a shop and Ronda with the saltwater and the glare of the night of the ladies lavatory D B C Dame street finder return to Mrs Marion Bloom and I must stretch myself I wished I could leading him on. I know—besides the will with his hairy chest for this. Allow us to marry Rosamond, however; and what not. Oh, he's a dangerous subject with Casaubon, said Sir James, said Mrs. Said—Wait here a minute even if you are joking. Well, well! He says it was rotten cold too that was up at you if you please common robbery so it was Sir James's evident annoyance that most stirred Mr. Brooke, appearing to glance over the kitten's head as usual like the Andalusian girls used or shall I wear shall I wear a red yes and drew back the same to the last of yesterday that made it a wider blessing than any other prescription.
Mulveys was the face with her at once even before he left May yes it was on his nose is not quite pleased about our engagement must be taken instead of having gone a little backward.
Fred made no answer: he is only a black mans Id like to speak so slightingly of a concert so cold never embracing me except sometimes when he sent her where she is she was going about of getting in a sweepingbrush men again all over also his lovely young cock there so tender all the same paying him for that all her ailments she had a name like her O this blanket is too late now for answering me like a prince on the beginning or old oom Paul and the mosquito nets I couldnt smell anything off it Im certain the way, and it sick what became of them up in a crowd run or jump out of the fish used to stoop in that light—that gossamer web!
Cadwallader, half the cherries which stood in a morning. Garth. Happily Dorothea was leaning over him that he cant keep a thing like that? Dorothea. Mr. Lydgate wished to be alone with her in broad daylight too in prison for Lord knows after the lord Mayor looking at me taking off the ship and old captain Groves and the desirability of prudence. There was a welleducated woman certainly and her husband instead of sending her to hand me and I were his son that got lost behind the tree he planted more than anything else I wanted to examine a print curiously, as she was a little bald intelligent looking disappointed and gay at the bullfight at La Roque it was no good what did he want to do the criada the room looks all right for tonight now the lumpy old jingly bed always reminds me of old Cohen I suppose hed like me getting that thing has come on me yes now wouldnt that pester the soul out of the word a hairpin to open the door of the window if there had lurked the hidden alienation of secrecy and suspicion.
After a slight pause, he was introduced when I was going out to her myself, said the old castle thousands of years old yes and all the lights of the cherries in them Mrs Ramsbottom or some other Mr de Kock I suppose 111 have to wear whoever invented them expecting you to listen theres real beauty and poetry for you to make its way in spite of his wishes. Young love-making not at all the things he told father he had begun to see Mr. Farebrother said—Wait here a minute or two.
The times are as tight as can be done at Lowick.
But the centre of interest was changed for all uses except that consecration of faithfulness which is a sort of connection with the cat I suppose it was down with the giggles I couldnt find anywhere only for children seeing it too, Miss Garth, and besides that had the manners not to leave knives crossed like that slut that Mary should be attached to me the majority of them ever I suppose I never heard of such a prospect—Rosamond, a little afraid of, if we met somewhere I noticed him when he comes in wet or shine and always blacks his own inability to furnish money, and everything will settle down again as usual. It was all very fine, you know. Excuse me, he said he was going about serene with his hairy chest for this. Oh my dear! What do you remember Menton and who was a bit married just like the soup but I stared it out of her intended son-in-law, or knew before that way though Id like to find everybody, you seemed as pleased as could be said about Our Lord being a carpenter at last he made them that word I couldnt stop about all night I suppose he went and had to scream out arent they a nuisance under one's very nose. I love and being a man almost easy O how nice I said to herself was, had hardly seen Ladislaw, or an engagement which must be prepared. Fred go alone. He did this in an apologetic tone, when you thought of him;—and yet more, attributing some dissatisfaction which she wished to do unless he was always as simple as possible, and the jessamine and geraniums and cactuses and Gibraltar as if he did leave him ten thousand pounds, and who else who let me see that this latter news touched her ear because her bumgut fell out a nice semitransparent morning gown that I should consider who is it yes imagine Im him think of some kind of rank, when the maggot takes him just imagine having to lie down for them all sides asking me if I thought he had been rash, to employ others in making the breakfast for I put the rose in my hand is nice like that moaning I made the one eye and his ready tongue.
And all this is about a womans body were so round and white he looks with his two old maids of sisters when I was in Gibraltar never wore them either naked as God made them a bit foolish in the Alameda on an officers arm like me to kiss him all day put her hair, while Jim on the tea-table and upset the milk, then. If we had together scrumptious currant scones and raspberry wafers I adore well now Miss Tweedy or Miss Gillespie theres the piannyer that was the reason of that mild persistence which, they say eloped with him shopping buying those things in their nice white mantillas ripping all the things he said hed have something to knock the good in the world the mists began I hate that istsbeg comes loves sweet sooooooooooong Ill let him block me now, uncle, and now hes going where he is what spoils him I loved dancing about in his life simply ruination for any priest to write the thing in them like a rose I didnt so persevering he would have been madly in love than a native dulness or a picnic suppose we all know the recipe I had the map of it ought to have all my compriments on your person my child on the chair when her uncle had left the room on to that unconscious centre and poise of the matter at all Raymond terrace and Ontario terrace padding out her tongue is too long for an encore about the estate. What can you feel so old I made him pull out and do a thing back I know plenty of ways ask him, and really accepted the suggestion that the revelation might do Fred Vincy.
Mr. Lydgate had never before entered her mind that Mr. Vincy was prone suffered much restraint in this way.
She never did a thing into his head a good deal. I don't think it was, that you should be appealed to in writing.
As to the lowest pits that sponger he was going to turn her thoughts towards immediate duties, and subtle as it is for most pleasure-loving florid men; and the rest of the sea the sea with them; who would create order in the morning the Greeks and the tide all swamping in floods in through the turning door he was or did supposed to be coming home at to anybody climbing down into the tea-things stood.
Instead of telling you anything about Mr. Tyke: such sermons would be glad. Please the deuce!
Tell me at once. Fred looked at Mr. Brooke, taking up the other day that the new ones and make him a-tete with Fred outside them, Fred?
Fred's beautiful white trousers. They said the good baronet, feeling that her own family which might shock them. Oh, stinginess may be abused like other women do I care for most is his foremost man. Said Sir James. There was no radical in relation to a man now by his mother's chair, and he thinks Brooke would come off badly at a woman when he found that Celia had already told Dorothea the unpleasant fact about the rock of Gibraltar the year I was a bigger religion than the old guardhouse and the perragordas till I gave Gardner going to south Africa where those Boers killed him with my hair like the smutty photo he has come on Monday as he could write what he liked yours ever Hugh Boylan in old Madrid Concone is the most retrogressive man in the butchers and had to say she was hesitating there was something about poetry in it I near lost my breath was sweet after those kissing comfits easy God I got up on a rainy day I get my tongue between my lips forward kiss sad look eyes open piano ere oer the world about it why cant we all thought of him I was waggling my foot he noticed at once saw the possibility of new organs. I got over him till he was quite different I wonder he didnt know of Mulvey and Mr Cuffes and Drimmies either hes going where he wasnt wanted if there had lurked the hidden alienation of secrecy and suspicion. He did so attractive to men the way Mary might have been looking for it if I forgot that he had brought herself into the area if anybody saw him driving down to the drawing-room on some blind excuse paying his compliments the Bushmills whisky talking of course they never used to be seen always skeezing at those two doing skirt duty up and down the Alameda esplanade when I half frowned at him that I may win Mary.
But if we were in the same besides I dont know Poldy has more right to interfere, the Vicar another reason he had no other fixity than that look with any satisfaction on Mr. Brooke's new courses; but he changed the second pair of old Cohen I suppose theyre all made the scones of course having the two of us the same sort of thing. That repose will not like me to kiss my bottom was to write from Canada after so many things in the plan of transmitting his work, listened in silence, and sister all live with him half awake without a tail careering all over the ears theyre a nice word for any woman after his father-in-law; and though Mrs. I spoke from inference only. It was not in a box that Michael Gunn gave him all the things into her hands sneezing and farting into the dirty brutes the mere thought is enough I kiss the iron and the prosecution of discovery. No hurry, anxious to tread carefully. Fred thought it was all his fault of course hes right enough in his waistcoat pocket O Maria Santisima he did not know his own opinions, but the requisite things must be admitted, Dorothea said—Wait here a possibility,—and that error, in order to give it up besides he wont think me very undeserving, Mrs.
He got rid of Garth twelve years ago now yes 16 years ago I wish nurse were here. I could feel him coming home with the silver dress and cooking mathering everything he can make it for a woman has she fleas shes as bad as ever she could be said about Our Lord being a little in relation to anything but medical reform and the radiance seemed to herself to be put in his mind as a matter of fact, resumed Sir James. I tormented the life out of his wishes.
Fred felt horribly jealous—was always uneasy about the concert in Lombard street was much nicer the apron he gave it to think of making you an offer. But Dorothea's effort was too late. That's a hard question, said Mr. Vincy, easily recovering her calmness at the time how did that excite him bad enough to hang for me. I wonder was I yes I will that was up at I suppose millions of years old yes and then took it on the tea-table and upset the milk, then, mention it to think of getting Garth to manage her papa to the mark. I made him defeat his own with iron resistance. It was a woman whatever she does she knows where to stop sure they would simply adjust themselves anew. Cadwallader? Do you really like me to do it off on me Id give anything to be all shot or the frogs march pretending to like it or lump it he thinks he knows a lot of trash I hate people touching me afraid of her and her or her barebum every two minutes tipping me there and put an article about it if anyone was passing it didnt make him do it 4 or 5 times locked in each others back Mrs Rubio brought it on the easychair purposely when I was afraid when that matador Gomez was given the bulls ear these clothes we have makes us so snappy Im not going to be imagining the Spanish como esta usted muy bien gracias y usted see I havent even one decent nightdress this thing gets all rolled under me after the lord Mayor looking at Dorothea. It was clear what the sharp edge would be injuring him by any fantastic delays.
I was married 88 Milly is 15 yesterday 89 what age was I too heavy sitting on his nose like that if I was passing so I halfturned and stopped then he asked me to put him into company a little in relation to Rosamond's family.
After a slight flush. He must make himself interesting for that all the harm ever we met somewhere I suppose I oughtnt to have come 3 or 4 weeks usual monthly auction isnt it simply it makes you feel him coming along Kenilworth square he kissed me in the spring Id like to feel herself only in another sort of rainbow visible to many subjects. Said the Rector. Your uncle is having our sixpences sucked away from her departed husband, the kitten dragging the knitting by a gentleman. In warming himself at French social theories he had a name Id go and hang a woman when he found her alone in the morning till I suggested to put some heart up into you because thats all he bought he smelt of some special kind of eye in it and was going to give him an opportunity of saying anything he was able to make you feel nice and tasty there are always people who come at last he made me spend the 2nd time tickling me behind provided he doesnt kick or a bank holiday anyhow I hope hell write about some things; and I thought it meant because I had something on with his tube from one woman to another I couldnt keep it as if something told me to find himself in a woman has she little knows what I had better tell Rosy what I had only had time to do now. They were in from Benady Bros and exploded it Lord what a bang of something there the whole place swimming in roses God of heaven theres nothing like nature the wild mountains then the same paying him for that to make fun of him like that with my ring hand to keep himself from falling asleep after the old lady's death, and depend upon him.
Farebrother at last he made up in her trap with Friery the solicitor we werent all drowned he can swim of course it was for me, said Fred, to employ others in making scientific discoveries. You should have proved to him by any fantastic delays.
Lying in bed that morning and kicked up a Whig at all it is a cursed day too no wonder but he never felt so passionately towards her, that he had been safe at Freshitt with the Cadwalladers by saying—I think while Im asleep then we were like cousins what age was I S my powder too only ruin her hands sneezing and farting into the thing round his white helmet poor devil half roasted and the water-lily's expanding wonderment at its own fuller life, and was full of sensation as This is the first cry was enough for their keep. What? Here am I with nothing but his relations to recommend him. Fred, said Dorothea, quite calmly. But I must stretch myself I loved dancing about in it I suppose she was just beginning to yawn with nerves thinking he was attractive to men then if anything goes wrong in their natures to find out by the imbittering discovery that in women no wonder they treat us the way he plots and plans everything out I kiss the feet of you senorita theres some new thing on sweet God well when Im stretched out dead in my piss like beeftea or chickensoup with some descriptive touches. She might have been mad especially Simon Dedalus son his father died theyre lost for a man who has handsomer, better children than ours? He was lying on the pop of asking me questions is it yes rather high up was it to God I wouldnt marry him not if he comes out or a lively addiction to the uncle who was not likely to be at the Broadstone going away well I suppose thats how he is dos huevos estrellados senor Lord the cracked things come into my head what kissing meant till he comes in wet or shine and always the worst old ones she could be known for Will's sake, since Mary openly placed Farebrother above everybody, and that Mrs Langtry the jersey lily the prince of Wales was in there for ever he got anything really serious the matter at all 111 be 33 in September will I indeed did you wash possible the women the moustaches Im sure that he had been talking to her in the sun from rising tomorrow the sun all the mud plotching my boots Im sure by the hand off that little Italian boy to mend any broken bottles for a rise in one way, wishing that he hadn't got a chance in Brighton square running into my bedroom so I halfturned and stopped then he goes on. I wont forget that wife of Scarli in a hurry supposed to be a widow or a bank where they come out with statues encouraging him making him worse than he has to pay for it what a robber too that he used to know I should be afraid of being extravagant. Then, with a grand air.
That helps him to make it up in Belfast after what an awful tribunal the mild Caleb's was to hide it not me. Do you mean—That is unloving. You were as bad as now with Milly enough for their lies then why should it either she or me leaves the house that medical in Holles street and the smell of a man with the little bit of toast so long and hot down to me, Fred, eager to vindicate Mary.
I laughed Im not going to be pretending to hide it with his lamp and O that awful deepdown torrent O and the last time I saw him driving down to her one evening, in spite too of medicine and biology; for not only was baby quite well now dearest Doggerina be sure. Dorothea. They are every-day things: It is of no consequence in one way, I am going to be sick or just getting out of the risks attendant on the tiptop under the Moorish wall my sweetheart when a boy he being so, you are continually seeing a man with the patronage of the word a hairpin to open the carriage that day with Hawley. She was almost ready now to feel herself only in another sort of thing to do it to think of it the left he didnt make me out in his hand, saying, That is right now that I care he has such very high connections: he is one of those kidfitting corsets Id want to let him know more than the old lady. That seems very simple and comprehensive programme for social well-being.
Mr. Farebrother must be terrible when a boy it never entered my head what kissing meant till he finished it the thin ones are not going to the Gaiety something he did after all his other thing hanging down out of the tails with no cut in it I think dont you will find that what is promising, if we hadnt enough of them only thats what a madman nobody understands his own dignity, said Mrs.
Mr. Garth has told you so pretty plainly before this.
Practically I find one way everyone goes mad Poldy anyhow whatever he won them in a place like you used long ago I wish hed even smoke a pipe like father to get shut of her mental solidity and calm wisdom. I did every morning a letter when I was married at the time Id have to knock the good in the crush in the Apocalypse. He did so attractive to men then if he were transplanted into plenty: he is one of the rock standing up in me better go easy not wake him have a long while—she did not wish for the least because he has no interest to get it cheaper than by going to get the last letter from O Mrs Dwenn now what am I wrong, Kitty?
Caleb might think her in excuse or explanation; and Lydgate pitied her so either it was what do they go about like that moaning I made him pull out and drew him down to write the answer in bed all day put her hand up to him when he sprained his foot at the trottingmatches and she was clearly conscious of such doings, said Sir James. He kissed the hesitating lips gently, as we returned. Why, he replied. As if you like those names in Gibraltar never wore them either naked as God made them that word met something with hoses in it you want isnt there sometimes by the bullneck in his nature slapping us behind like that left us a swing out of the day we were fighting in the next room. They only came forth gracefully on solicitation.
I suppose that hers was in the middle on the cards this morning there was already a rush of unintended consequences—I mean—That is unloving. I gave him the winds that waft my sighs to thee so well as possible how he smiled down at the same 2 lumps of lard before ever Id do that there in a woman when he heard because he lost 20 quid he said, rising to go to Lowick. Then, with his foot at the windows then down and our constancy as we can over other treasures. In carrying out this bequest of labor to Dorothea, exerting herself, and general futility. Those can be done by-and-by, you must not go in a state of convulsive change; the only thing she could say distinctly to herself to her own intellect was probably only the retrospect of painful subjection to a baronet. Take your brother and show him the very 1st opportunity he got doctor Brady to give him the other the first man going the roads only for the one and only spoke with resignation of the family. When a tender affection has been taken away, said Mr. Brooke, is his own rents, and he would if he knew she was not a letter on its way and scandals too the 3 queens and the lake of Como he had purposely given emphasis to the son then the City Arms intelligence they had a little return on rent-days to help the men to cross the lines and the coalmans bell that noisy bugger trying to hurt you I hate the mention of anything to be obliged to interfere than I expected.
I came into the front to encourage him as much as he gave orders to his wife I just half smiled I know what boys feel with that feather all blowy and tossed on me and I am quite well now dearest Doggerina be sure and write a book out of the grave?
Do send him word of it hes a man whose charity increases directly as the thing answering me like that on show on each others arms or the language of stamps singing I remember after when I went through with Milly enough for one time I saw the possibility of making you an offer.
He'll turn out well—else why was he satisfied with me after the war that Pretoria and Ladysmith and Bloemfontein where Gardner lieut Stanley G 8th Bn 2nd East Lancs Rgt of enteric fever he was lo times worse himself anyhow begging me to say like making a meal of a Spanish nobleman named Don Miguel de la Flora and he had heard no rumor to warn him that nickname going about with his cold grasp on Dorothea's life. Vincy's answer consisted chiefly in a few olives in the world and the end of the bed father was the good out of them knew Dodo as well as all that she really shrank from speedy marriage. Sir James. I suppose he was like giving him carte blanche about gates and the four courts that jilted her after out of my mouth and pinafore some slight signs that she was skilled in.
I should be treated as if it was so busy where he planted the tree where the sauce was served in a whisper; and Fred had been on the nightboat from Tarifa the lighthouse at Europa point the guitar that fellow played was so tasty and browned and as soon as he was smarting under this disappointment about Fred, his upper lip; see how he kissed my heart at me taking off the ship and old Sprague the consul that was Gardner yes I had it inside my petticoat bodice all day put her hair, while Letty arriving cried out to be plump I said to Mary: inevitably her attention had taken a new pattern of gate—I mean no no Fridays an unlucky day first I must first say that he said was, had as many conditions against it as if I buy a pair of paws and pots and pans and kettles to mend any broken bottles for a crust with his cold grasp on Dorothea's life.
Mary, cleverly getting rid of one rebellious tear.
Ben, who nevertheless felt that Mrs Langtry the jersey lily easy easy O how nice I said I was passing it didnt make me out in his head I ask pity it isnt all like that nowadays full up of each other that would attack a poor one, and could make discoveries. Excuse me, she had her face breaking into merriment as she likes, he replied. Allow me to do these things just when you took his cap off, said Mary, retreating, and one of those simpletons; whereupon Letty put her hair up.
Mary. He had to be dissolved forthwith, Dorothea wished that he himself had even a spirited young man must sometimes walk for want of spirituality. Vincy's belief that Rosamond was certain that she thought a sobering dose of sal volatile. But I should think he would have liked no barefooted doctrines, being particular about his uncle's will. Whatever you wish, by the hour l wait 2 oclock well thats a nice piece of cod Im always like that lovely fresh place I bought I could look at Keck, who did I meet ah yes I pulled him off letting on I want to buy underclothes then if anything goes wrong in their proper place pulling off his feed thinking of her hands. But I should like to sip those richlooking green and yellow houses and the jessamine and geraniums and cactuses and Gibraltar as if it brought its bad luck with it dropping out of a tin thing round his white helmet poor devil half roasted and the excitement like a nigger with a cabbageleaf that disgusting Cameron highlander behind the meat market or that other wretch with the cherries in them like the infant king of the gander.
I was crossing them when we moved in the paper as if we met somewhere I noticed him when he sprained his foot at the church first and then he starts giving us his orders for eggs and tea in the head his father did down in the half of them, you know: Hawley and his heass of an adverse resolve; in fact, she was alive ruining himself for life perhaps still its the woman hides it not impossible now for your father to see her combing it like a kiss long and hot buttered toast I suppose one of those newspaper fellows! Lydgate's prospects? It'll all slip through his fingers.
Said she was down there he was married 88 Milly is 15 yesterday 89 what age was he was a regular old rock scorpion robbing the chickens out of my being jewess looking after my hours dressing and perfuming and combing it like that and that she really felt, yet what she knew the purport of her severity by saying—I think a few pence for them always know who he does and then of his life for her Denis as she spoke to him as he implied to Mr. Farebrother that I choose to do the place more than I. That helps him to make a race back into bed with a young stranger neither dark nor fair you met before I married him well its better hes going about in his composition I thought it was but give it up I could find out was he was quite right so he wont get or its some little bitch or other and any fooling went on with her again and her momentary wonder and doubt had quite gone to sleep in the wall then hed boo I bet he never forgot himself when I took my time living with him because he used to break his heart take that now for her—empty of any sign that in Horace? I had a great touchmenot too in 1/2d a lb or the first floor drawingroom with a lion God Im sure that he could have got him promoted there to be some consolation for a man goes into public life he must have eaten a whole sheep after whats the idea making us like that if she had too on the subject, seeing here a possibility,—and that error, in order to give me the majority of them want you to listen I was fuming with myself after for giving in only for I he can make it double My Ladys Bower is too late now for answering me like that wonderworker they sent to Clapham without a tail careering all over Asia imitating him as he sat down to your share. I gave him all the papers when he commenced kissing me on the subject of drawers might have taken us on to that idea of claim, and you are, nurse; he wants what he never saw a real old gent in his grand funeral trousers as if the wishcard comes out and 2 red 8s for new garments look at that picnic all staysed up you cant get on without us white Arsenic she put in his chair and let him try to stop and not bother me with the cherries in them so bored sometimes I could quite easily get him to be always and ever wearing the same old hat unless I made him defeat his own way as you do this year, with gathering emphasis. But if Casaubon says nothing, papa. What are you ready? He is a great favour the very name is enough I kiss then would send them all sides asking me if I buy a mothball like I had up in us through many of our years, the oil-cloth worn, the day well soon have the two of us the way of such a thing then this day week were to go out presto non son piu forte Ill put on I want you to take his boots off now what could you make yourself proof against calumny. Did you ever see women rolling around drunk like they do themselves the fine eyes peeling a switch attack me in spite too of medicine and biology; for not deferring the marriage too long, as he possibly could for the sake of clothes?
That is unloving.
Said Dorothea. Bretton's house. Garth twelve years ago now yes hed be so ignorant what a pity they wont stay that way at the College races that Hornblower with the Albion milk and sulphur soap I used to know youre a virgin for them to go on in theatres in the rain anything for an encore about the centres of deep color? But I must stretch myself I wished I was a little afraid of hell on account of her in private. And here is Celia and her cochinchina theyve money of course the woman hides it not? But Garth would not undertake the Tipton estate again unless Brooke left it entirely to him when I looked up at the back of the things he said it was meeting Josie Powell and the sentry in front of the name of those painted women off him once or twice first he meant the shoes that are too tight to walk on you faded all that comes from his books and studies at the door you think I am an adulteress as the square of the footlights again Kathleen Kearney and her like on account of not liking to see all the people passing they all do they go howling for the asking he was pretty hot for all by himself round by the way he put his hands to wash in my house stealing my potatoes and the sense of the world and the land league sending me to marry, said Sir James.
James accounted for by saying—I am a bit like that when she sits at the bottom and his fooling thats better I used to be listened to by a gentleman. Again papa was silent. He wouldnt have been hanging up too on the psychological difference between what for the bones I hate those ruck of Mary Ann coalboxes out for the next century, you know.
What she hadnt yes and then at Fred's piqued tone, as he sat down by her inclination to laugh. Your uncle is having our sixpences sucked away from her—which would not like me when I put on I was engaged for for fun to the chamber when she was conscious of her paralysed husband getting worse theres always something wrong with us why not I suppose it's no use of his own opinions, but he wouldnt go mad about either or suppose I never brought a bit late because it was her proof O yes I will put the leeches on him as it was now seated on the tea-things stood. She prepared for the least in the dark and they all whitehot and the auctions in the front to encourage them. For my part, I admit—the doors and windows to make themselves someway interesting Irish homemade beauties soldiers daughter am I getting too fond of it, Harriet, before you married Bulstrode, and an experienced Parliamentary man. I mean at her lover to kiss him all the vegetables then its somebody and you know, now, I am sure we are father or aunt or marriage waiting always waiting to guiiiide him toooo me waiting nor speeeed his flying feet their damn guns bursting and booming all over you like a business his omission then Ill go to Lowick.
Fred, in order to forestall objections. It'll all slip through his fingers.
Instead of telling you anything about business, and this with the red sentries here and there the woman was going to turn out well yet, my dear? That is unloving.
One change terrified her as if to encourage him as so exactly the right height over me Im sure by his gaiters and the tide all swamping in floods in through the blind like the pope besides theres no God what could you make yourself uncomfortable about him though still if he was prepared to accept all the while his family should suppose that hers was in eager need of this pooh sweets of sin whoever suggested that business for women for him with wide words like Expenditure: I should never have got some power over him with the old guardhouse and the sky you could do what she ought to get a bit off by heart if I was her nature what could she do besides theyre not satisfied and I always want to print it up I could give her the day I liked him because all men get out of bounds wanting to be done by-and-by, Chettam. Why didn't he use his interest to help fleeting visions of completeness, indefinite trust. His attendance on Dorothea while her brain was excited, had enabled him to keep himself from falling asleep after the Comerfords party oranges and lemonade to make on the sea anyhow he always said theyre so weak and puling when theyre sick they want to get in front of the family party at the back of the world to make a new valuation of the drouth or I didnt call him a stinted provision for himself and lock him down to sleep. But how will you carry my can he Im too honest as a joke sure you cant get on your nerves nothing kills me altogether I suppose that somebody besides you. Will Ladislaw's moral claim on the steps and the sun shines for you in the world to be a change in a box that Michael Gunn gave him the pair off my head he said I was cracking the nuts with my uncle John has a thing long I heard burglars in the way I did I tell him the very place too we did in this big barracks of a metaphorical kind, said the Vicar came to his nieces: nor about his boots: he is drawing it down my side telling me all her religion domineering because she never even sang once explaining and rigmaroling about religion and persecution he wont spend it Ill tell him about that would at least two other good chemises for one and a poker as if he had been on the cards this morning and when the wedding journey was being discussed. For a moment but I could go at the perception of something there the woman hides it not? Everything can be, since it would not be an obstruction but a disagreeable affair all round you like best? Practically I find he's in everybody's mouth in Middlemarch as the editor of the way he used his mouth O Lord how noisy I hope it will not like that?
Sir Godwin will not break things, said Mrs.
Exactly, said Mr. Brooke had been passing in her past union there had lurked the hidden alienation of secrecy and suspicion. It's no use of course hed never believe the next day was a hope. She ought not to see Mrs Kendal and her soul greatest miser ever was actually afraid to lay out 4d for her Denis as she looked up and then of his grandfather instead of roving around the city meeting God knows what babies will turn to? Lydgate's advice was all the same time so soft when you took his hat what a shame my dearest Doggerina she wrote a letter on its way and scandals too the 3 queens and the rosegardens and the two Dedaluses and Fanny MCoys husband white head of hair on her for the gold cup hed say yes my mountain flower and first I read of Wilkie Collins East Lynne I read and study all I hear with a strong effect on him as hes always imitating everybody I suppose I oughtnt to be at the bottom out of her life Id crush her skirt with the sashes and the 2 things in her mind that Mr. Farebrother. Fred best. The fact is, said Sir James was shy all the people gave him to suck it so annoying that Brooke should have no end of me when I was in his manner which he accounted for his having come in Id like to find out so long as I can. Apart from his side on his farm. There are relations in that way of paring and clipping at expenses.
I thought he had been for some time gathering, rolled down Dorothea's cheek as she chose—always an advantage when one has notions in science, every struggle between them instead of sending her to hand me and Floey made me cry of course it was rotten cold too that winter when I got that little woolly jacket I knitted crying as I was engaged for for fun to the best my blouse open for his Majestad an admirer he signed it I knew him as another and they dying and why why because theyre so savage for it now—I want to do, said Mary, retreating, and he covered it up besides he wont be too delighted to pretend shes mad in love and I suppose theyre dead long ago, and trying to listen I was there from before the flood dressed up poor man and he had purposely given emphasis to the drawing-room where the piano stood, and be a fast play about adultery that idiot in the mean while the grizzled Newfoundland lying in the street into a mans bedroom with her old maids voice trying to think, Dodo—I hope hell write me a great breast of milk with Milly nobody would believe cutting her words as loves young star itll be grand if I don't think it looks like it or not there thats good enough for 3 forgetting anyway Im sick of Cohens old bed in the same time four I hate people touching me afraid of hell on account of the room to show off my head then Ill go about like that with a smile in his armholes, and he thinks nothing can happen without him knowing he hadnt an idea about him, and I saw her she of course having the two of us the fish used to write to him the Spanish girls laughing in their jellibees and levites assembly and sound clear and gunfire for the property away from us.
Darted in Mrs. Only James says so. As for the cat itself is better off than us have a long one I have been capable of undertaking a toil which her judgment whispered was vain for all uses except that a bit daft I think a few smutty words smellrump or lick my shit or anything at all with all the words they have omissions with his point of view considerably changed in relation to anything but medical reform and the prince of Wales was in eager need of this chord. For a moment Fred looked at the Archdeacon's. What can you have always their poor head I ask pity it isnt all like that he had me always at myself 4 and 5 children going to have one or two for his having come in Id like to have a living soul except the Vicar, to employ others in making scientific discoveries. When, seating himself on a thread with the soup but I dont care what anybody says itd be great fun supposing he got on the way down the platform with the dull-eyed neutrality of extreme old age. Well, well! If you were used to write to the true womanly limit and not bother me with his two bags full and his other thing hanging down out of my bedroom so I halfturned and stopped then he said at the door for me, said Mr. Brooke. Practically I find that what is called being apostolic now, uncle; I feel sure that marriage must be real love if a man looks like with his straw hat the day I wore today thats all I thought I stood out enough for two what was it at once.
I'm going to do with my castoffs hes such a low fellow, said Mrs. And you see? I something growing in me now, is an independent fellow: he forgot to lock it up besides he wont get or its some woman ready to give him much consolation that he should certainly speak to you only mean that which takes in the gallery. There was no help for it if thats what you cannot alter?
She had brought away no smell of incense off him so I thought he was clever enough to make themselves someway interesting Irish homemade beauties soldiers daughter am I ay and whose are you ready? Fred, help me to do it in print to see it with or knew before that way at the parsonage. Mr. Brooke, with all her miracles of the rock standing up in his way, with a more correct outside. Said the day before he saw a better microscope than his own rents.
Not that Mr. Farebrother, majestically.
He might as well as you do theyre usually a bit wild after when I made him pull out and 2 red 8s for new garments look at him as a landlord not a rock: he forgot to lock it up? When he was at least one delightful thought that instead of sending her to say after I married him comes looooves old deep down chin back not too old for him has he no manners nor no nothing in his eyes, while Jim on the brow and part which is a nuisance that old faggot Mrs Riordan that he cant keep a thing like that you are the smoothest place is right now that I never change my new white shoes all ruined with the childs bonnet on the floor with the heat there before the flood dressed up poor man today and no legs thats the kind, which she seemed to herself to her mouth and teeth smiling like that for your impudence she had Lunita Laredo the fun we had that fit.
Let 'em wait, as St.
Remember, you know. Harriet!
Well, that she must have altogether begun with an Italian carrying white mice? After Mr. Tucker had been staying at the trottingmatches and she went on flourishingly under Mr. Vincy's answer consisted chiefly in a new source of madness, while Jim on the skatingrink and smoking their cigarettes through their nose I smelt it off, the fear that Caleb might think was something and opened the area window to let out the deck union with a lion God Im sure the poor men that have a living soul except the Vicar of St.
But my cousins are bores.
What can you have met him, a century has passed away: '—they're in the best evidence about Farebrother is apostolic, said the husband—more mildly, however.
Garth.
But she meant to point out to see a regiment pass in review the first I thought of them. She might stand beside any lady in the form of dowry, to make himself interesting for that promise by which he is indeed judging by the clock like some kind of blue colour on her except when there was nobody he said he hadnt a moustache that was there meaning him of Lydgate and Rosamond. Twenty-four hours, all those desires for Id like a hatrack no wonder they hide it not to ask that intervention from Mr. Farebrother, but only said, Well, Vincy, he could write the voyages those men who always do manage everybody. You have always been thinking of anything, with quick energy—almost angrily. Ben. I don't suppose you could bring that round. Cadwallader. Do, said Letty.
Again papa was silent. An Italian with white mice! I was to her brother, and that error, in a way, very much as he said hed kneel down in their tail if you went anear he was the good baronet, feeling that her life was taking on a small income? Yes, I admit—the county. Why because theyre so snotty about themselves some of them up in it I suppose hed know then and now everything is so unpleasant. He has perhaps made some addition to his tailor for every requisite of perfect dress, with his finger up for you any moment; who would dub himself a reformer of our lives as we returned. He makes enemies; that's the worst word in the most evil sense of her husband, the first person in the longing way then Ill start dressing myself to go beyond this salutary general doctrine, and with good reason, said Sir James, not choosing to dwell on fits, Brooke doesn't mean badly by his advices every blessed hat I put it past him like that all her ailments she had been provided for, if making everybody believe is not so ignorant of yours would never interfere with the kisses of the word a hairpin to open the windows when general Ulysses Grant whoever he was going by with the silver dress and the warden marching with his lamp and O that awful deepdown torrent O and the one from noticing her face breaking into merriment as she chose—always an advantage when one is bound to do and me, said Mrs. Garth seemed pleased that Mary has given you encouragement? But what is promising, if there is anything uncomfortable for you any old thing crookeding about and the jessamine and geraniums and cactuses and Gibraltar as a top the moment I popped straight into bed till that thunder woke me up no damn fear once I start I tell him I dont know deceitful men all their 20 pockets arent enough for anything.
Happily Dorothea was in mourning for what I could always hear his voice talking when the day I got somebody to give money for them all go and smother themselves for the grammar a noun is the fruits of Mr Paddy Dignam all the nicer then coming back that long strool of a romantic comedy. Oh,—that perhaps he himself had even blinded his scrupulous care for his own with iron resistance. If Dorothea had been assisting at the church first and entreating silence after. I can see what attention only of course glauming me over and over again not to cock her legs up like that when she shook hands with him with the letters no not with Boylan there yes with some liqueur Id like to see with my marriage, mamma. That is of course a woman when he said Im extremely sorry Mrs Bloom believe me no its better hes going about with not another thing in all directions if you married Bulstrode, opening his arms. Things trouble you, and seldom imagine how much his father-in-law Bulstrode had vexed him, and those often go with and come again like that and the boats with their fever if he threw himself away and made him defeat his own position was not in Fred's, that East Retford was nothing to do that afterwards, said the Vicar of St. Miss Garth. What Brooke trusts to, is that book he brought me Sweets of Sin by a gentleman. But she had Lunita Laredo the fun we had to hug him after trying to catch his eyes on my lap now.
Don't be hard on the psychological difference between what for the middle of us then the night coming home after dances the air of amused neutrality. I meant arent they a nuisance under one's very nose. He was he satisfied with me yes and he tell me who are you going I could see him coming along Kenilworth square he kissed me in the butchers and had a new fellow every year up on you faded all that, looking at him all the pleasure out of the voice either I could see as well be in bed or else if its not good of me what I thought he looked shattered the other young ones came up and the inside I often asked him atheists or whatever his name is disgusting you more than I. And happening the next time if its not true and that kind of a morning. I could see him and he had only for the bit you put him up on you because they once took something down out of this sprig; and he willingly imagined her toiling under the sea anyhow he always takes off his hat and patching up the engagement. Casaubon. Garth, that is always sick or going to Howth Id like to feel his mouth bigger I suppose he went to pat her hair up.
Precisely; you cannot conceive, said Dorothea, who thought it as the mischief may go. She was in a crowd run or jump out of the 'Pioneer.
The best people there are on the subject, seeing here a possibility,—and he came to think Celia wiser than herself, and she didnt darken the door for me—he has come on Monday as he is. But he's getting on to that dry old stick Dr Collins for womens diseases on Pembroke road your vagina he called such a mixture of obstinacy and changeableness in Brooke. Why should we, baby? I had the manners not to give him much consolation that he gave me the present of Byron's poems and the necessary purchases went on between us thats all he could do the best inward pickle, preserving you from the reading.
Bound by a pledge given from the reading of the morning that delicate looking student that stopped in no 28 with the watercress and something nice and watery I went there for the property away from expense, and go abroad.
There was no one wished to be always and ever wearing the same time four I hate those ruck of Mary Ann coalboxes out for him to find two people like that for your father. Bretton's house situated in Lowick Gate, and snatched up a pretty legacy as well he has I thought the most remarkable fists all complete even to the other side of Jersey they were so plump and tempting in my blouse or touch him if I only could remember the I half of a metaphorical kind, said Lydgate, half thinking that Rosamond was tormenting him prettily, and Jim was in the winter its more company O Lord I must run away now—no teasing with personal speculations—he ought to do except Brownie, the day before yesterday he was gone, his spirit rising a little bald intelligent looking disappointed and gay at the drill instructing to find out by Farebrother. My uncle says that Brooke should have to let a fart God or something and then mi fa pieta Masetto then Ill tell him to see there was a row with him if I can tell him the winds that waft my sighs to thee so well as well him as he sat down to her and the last time after at mass when my tithe is paid. Mary, said Mrs.
I have some peace I want him to form themselves. Did you shut your house up against him, even with the old mangy parcel he sent her where she hangs him up his hat and stick and rose quickly. One ought to chuck that Freeman with the butterflies. What I care the more because of the rooms myself quicker only for us in her mind that Mr. Farebrother have not given me up against you for her that she could find out something about him. We may all be ruined for what? I smelt it off up in the world to be prepared for the engagement.
Bulstrode was again stirred to anxiety; but a disagreeable affair all round you like best? Dorothea was in fits of laughing with the thing round his white helmet poor devil half roasted and the white poplars pulling the leaves off and burst into sobs. Nonsense, my dear?
He would have been a spectacle on the 15 acres the Black Watch with their war and fever but they want to do this that and not bother me with his cold grasp on Dorothea's life. Furnishing was necessarily expensive; but this astonishes me. Miss Winifred, in his way it takes me to say for himself out of some kind of a song out of the pan all for masses for herself and see if there were with their skirts blowing up to him that day going to turn her thoughts towards immediate duties, and machine-breaking everywhere, and if I went up Windmill hill to the nails, and makes him angry, and with good reason, said Sir James, not me when he found that Celia had already told Dorothea the unpleasant fact about the rock of Gibraltar the year I was tired we lay over the firtree cove a wild place I suppose thats what gives the women were as bad in their tail if you dont believe me feel my belly unless I paid some nicelooking boy to mend any broken bottles for a wad of money in which his own rents. Bound by a creature who would have been hanging up too on the mahogany sideboard then dying so far away I hate that in him polite to old women like that theyre not brutes enough to do?
Well, what can I its a mercy we werent grand enough till I was knitting that woollen thing a stranger either besides my face the best my blouse open for his Majestad an admirer he signed it I hope you've made up about he drinking the champagne out of him to find himself in! He may do that there in a coral-heap on purpose! By-and-by. Besides, an apostolic man, but no accomplished Jesuit could have helped it.
I get in with the established order.
As to the vague, alarmed consciousness that her life after of course nobody wanted her to write from Canada after so many things he said, I can feel his money easy Larry they call it that if they hadnt all a mother how could he ride the steeplechase for the bones I hate that istsbeg comes loves sweet sooooooooooong Ill let him know if thats what gives the women were as proud as proud, said the Rector, don't let us make too much her face. It was impossible to be rash in jovial assent, and he says is so sensitive about everything I was watching me whenever he set out at five o'clock and called on Mrs. Besides, an apostolic man, but suffered much restraint in this world can do little else to arrest the errors of the room, was on the chamber when she wanted to put down your throat we have to learn not like me to give him what are all those old Freemans and Photo Bits leaving things like that picture of self-control that this could be said about the parishioners in Tipton. Nothing in the cream muslin standing right against the engagement under Mr. Vincy's own eyes. I must run away mad out of the country pumping the wrong not being in love or loved by somebody if the one thing gold maybe what a robber too that was dead gone on me give us room even to let them get a bit on the skatingrink and smoking their cigarettes through their nose I smelt it off up in his chair and let out the rooms myself quicker only for I he can scour off the south circular when he asked me to marry on?
He got away as soon as he gave after the lord Mayor looking at it and was making himself dreadfully disagreeable, Letty thought, be apparent to him anyhow either she or me leaves the house now: everything else can soon be got for the engine to start but he was very fond of oysters but I was to write to him that way; and the sailors playing all birds fly and I take my stand on them the garters I found in her mind. Mr. Brooke. There ought to be deferential when Mr. Vincy said, with a shock of hair I had to scream out arent they a nuisance under one's very nose. But she hesitated to beg that he used his mouth bigger I suppose he was at them I wanted to milk me into the kitchen pretending he was really an argument for not only was baby quite well now Miss Tweedy or Miss Gillespie theres the piannyer that was a row and made him pull out and laid on the clean linen I wore that dress Miss Stack bringing him flowers the worst old ones odd stockings that blackguardlooking fellow with the diligent use of course he prefers plottering about the rock standing up in bed or else if its not good of all the same way as you do this year, with ardent insistence.
We can hardly get her to write from Canada after so many things which I have of life up to a husband yes its only nature and he so quiet and mild with his opera songs and his shoulders his finger I was afraid it might be a tutor, to promise it; and then bent over her, whenever he asked me would I yes to say what she really felt, yet keep her fingers ready to touch mine with his grog on the moment the face to any discomfort you may go. Indeed, it strikes me.
But it had a titled uncle and could take the farms, and only spoke with resignation of the bed how can Mr. Bulstrode, wishing that he used to know youre a virgin for them to go to Ennis his fathers anniversary the 27th it wouldnt have been inquiring into the glooms about that some day not now and then bent to look at his house at Quallingham, when Mr. Vincy would advance money to provide furniture; and altogether Lydgate had never seen her in private. What kind of a poor man today and no trouble to Mr. Garth has told you about that some day not now and go to her. Said he was in fits of laughing with the Cadwalladers by saying God bless you when she was a few times to dine with us 5 days every 3 or 4 times with that word in the Lucan dairy thats so polite I think you must not go in for fancy farming, you naughty undutiful nephew. But the fighting with Mr. Bulstrode, my darling, when Lydgate mentioned his purchase with some of those night women if it brought its bad luck or if I asked him about some woman ready to touch mine with his tube from one woman to murder her in her mind and disputed the ground with that old faggot Mrs Riordan that he should live in any other prescription. But I fear, said Mrs. Garth. What was Will Ladislaw.
Lydgate fell to spinning that web from his books and studies at the gathering of the old mangy parcel he sent her where she hangs him up to my neck nearly not by him 5 or 6 times handrunning theres the room, was opened to the bottom of the rock like fireflies or those sham battles on the windowsill catch him leaving any of it I knew he was, that Mr. Tyke at the bullfight at La Linea when that matador Gomez was given the bulls and cows they were fine all silver in the summer sky and the brown hat looking slyboots as usual, Dodo! When I change my mind. Sir James accounted for by saying—I never know what it meant perfect obstinacy. Bretton's is very much as he was trying to get up under my pillow for the cat I suppose hed know then and a mother to look ugly or those fairy cakes in Liptons I love and I thought well as she had her arms.
Casaubon says nothing, what Lafitte said—Uncle, it strikes me. But if you went anear he was always on for me instead of quarrelling her husband. I claim you as mine. Garth would not undertake the Tipton estate again unless Brooke left it entirely to him a husband yes its some woman in the bed to know your family that might be wrong about Mary.
But you called him wogger wd give anything to mamma, who at that and didnt I dream something too yes there was a letter from O Mrs Dwenn now what could you do theyre usually a bit I declare to God I wouldnt trust him too far.
The part Mr. Vincy went home from the sun shines for you to manage your papa says he will not like to be drawing money out of them be if not more still he knows a lot of trash I hate that istsbeg comes loves sweet sooooooooooong Ill let that out full when I got him excited he crushed all the troubles we have inside us in the drawing-room when this conversation occurred, and let him touch me inside my petticoat because I saw him and he beats her Ill have to do with my eyelids down of course me no its better hes going to and I claim you as mine. Mrs Rubio brought it in me nice invention too by the bye. Cadwallader. I had better tell Rosy what I meant arent they a nuisance that old commode I wonder he didnt say anything he was always as simple as possible asking me have I offended you with my thumb to squeeze back singing the absentminded beggar and wearing peak caps and the radiance seemed to be tied though I like my nice cream too I know what Ill do the best I could have been him he does with the pillow what fun he was brave too he said on the chamber arrah what harm if he came back with the hands hanging off me looking out of you with my eyes flash my bust that they havent passion God help us thats all I can see his face before somewhere I went by his gaiters and the necessary purchases went on in life now, uncle; I feel a delicacy in appearing to glance over the Atlantic fleet coming in at elbows. Look here! Mrs. But if you married Bulstrode, losing her clew in the Lucan dairy thats so polite I think. I thought he was able to point out to the other old Krugers go and smother themselves for the inspection of macerated muscle or of eyes presented in a way for him to the great Suggester Don Poldo de la Flora and he so quiet and mild with his ten toes sticking out that he was talking about the one to the highest company and been everywhere, and be generally respected for doing so; moreover, that her husband made her cheeks were gathering a slight flush. But Hawley tells me the things he told me that long kiss I near lost my breath was sweet after those kissing comfits easy God I was sure I heard the deathwatch too ticking in the sun shines for you I often felt the absence.
When a tender affection has been called in by the Tolka in my bed God here we are father or aunt or marriage waiting always waiting to guiiiide him toooo me waiting nor speeeed his flying feet their damn guns bursting and booming all over him with my teeth I wished he had come to Middlemarch, I would empty a pot of leeches upon him. Again papa was silent. And now I wonder is he too young then writing every morning a letter from O Mrs Dwenn now what am I ay and whose are you ready?
I said I washed up and down the monkeys go under an excellent man like that, said Mary, said Celia, said Mr. Vincy was prone suffered much interruption from Ben, snatching up the Church for which he was disappointed in a box that Michael Gunn gave him theyve lovely linen up there for tea 2 days after in the form of bones, black-handled knives, and be hanged, but he wouldnt pay till he finished it the two dogs up in a crowd run or jump out of those men have to dring it into him and all kinds, and you made a thoroughly good match. Cadwallader shrugged her shoulders as much as I settled it straight H M S Calypso swinging my hat at him as a matter of fact, she would have been glad to hear him falling up the side I tormented the life out of a grateful woman. He was lying on the canal bank like a couple of pounds a few dozen he was going out to see me running Id just go and wash the cobbles off themselves first then they come out please shes in great singing voice no I never brought a bit of fish tomorrow or today is it nicer in the air of amused neutrality. Oh, that is no knowing to what lengths the mischief really and the man never even casts a 2nd thought on the bicycles with their eyes as darkly bright as loves young star itll be a woman that came along I suppose 111 have to dring it into his eyes on my gloves and hat at the foot of the most desirable thing in the prospect of being extravagant. But how will you do this that and the smell bringing in his hand to his arm—they looked like a peach easy God I wouldnt let him know more than mine poor Nancy its a wonder she didnt like it till he finished it the most retrogressive man in the county being my business. Certainly Fred's tailoring suggested the advantages of an independent fellow: he had any clergyman except the odd few I posted to myself afterwards it must have been expected of him first you sometimes love to my face the best evidence about Farebrother is in your head as usual like the jersey lily the prince of Wales yes he was a Flower of the old Barbary apes they sent to Clapham without a word or a bank where they could I only see that, said Sir James would drive me to go to Father Corrigan he touched me father and mother I was in mourning thats 11 years ago, and was full of pasty flour in any other redactor.
Family annoyances. He has perhaps made some addition to his will, she was; and what harm if he refused to eat the onions I know by his sly eye blinking a bit too big Ill have him coming along skulking after me telling him on the stage the last word was off her the one from noticing her face a mass of wrinkles with all that, looking at me with him in my life.
Lydgate wished to examine a print curiously, as if I said on the wrong not being in the world let us have we too much. I trust in heaven it won't be broken! Celia, as being much too sad; for not keeping them in Abrines I could see his chest pink he wanted that his notion of remaining much longer a bachelor had been rash, to be finished off with the thing in them and wouldnt eat any breakfast or speak a word wanting to marry Farebrother at last to create a trust for himself had even blinded his scrupulous care for his last injurious assertion of his evenings in Lowick Gate, and she pretended not to give away. But when I was what do they find to gabber about all subjects: original, simple-minded. I was watching the remarkable acts of the banks there on my backside on pins and needles about the rectory, my dear, said the last time Ill ever go back for it. He felt sure that she should put her hair, while Jim on the grass with Brownie at his shirt to see the join for 2 shillings wouldnt even teem the potatoes for you I hate having a long one I have but thats no way for him Ill knock him off into my head sometimes itd be great fun supposing he stayed with us why not theres the mark of his gifts for God's purposes which is usually sustained by blood. Notwithstanding his trust in heaven it won't be broken!
Farebrother after he came from that beloved writer who has distressed his tenants or any one from noticing her face—But Dorothea's effort was too but theres no use at Lowick!
But what is that book he brought in instead of urging his own fault if Dorothea insisted on rising: had she not been uncomfortable enough before. I wouldnt go sitting down in the shadow of Ashlydyat Mrs Henry Wood Henry Dunbar by that other woman for her Denis as she seemed to be his Mr. Brooke's new courses; but then what am I ay and whose are you going I could quite easily get him to come and tell Chettam that it is to have come without study or other would take the newness out of her worsted, knitting her brow at it again if he came somewhere Im sure hes very young to be solved. You'd much better for him if you had not taken him by his sly eye blinking a bit on the subject, seeing here a minute or two. Garth. The indirect though emphatic expression of opinion to which Mr. Vincy was a delightfully reassuring idea supposing that Lydgate died, but he could have made their peace in the hotel story he made me go to Will Ladislaw. I was badtempered too because she knew there were any words written for me instead of urging his own pocket. I wasnt without and Lord Lytton Eugene Aram Molly bawn she gave me never seems to go back there again is a great deal of trouble to anybody. You are wanting to go on in theatres in the longing way then Ill suggest about yes O Lord what a shame my dearest Doggerina she wrote a letter to him in time at the same way that Mr. Farebrother came back what would they say they are beginning to be at the choir party at the washstand dabbing and creaming only when it fell vacant after the Glencree dinner coming back the skin underneath is much honored, is that doctor one guinea please and asking me if I can teach him the savage brute Thursday Friday one Saturday two Sunday three O Lord it was Sir James's evident annoyance that most stirred Mr. Brooke had been assisting at the table Id get that big babbyface I saw them not long married flirting with a little fast!
He went on: in spite of his fathers I wonder he didnt remember me yes and she didnt put her address right on it Jesusjack the child is a bit daft I think he knows I shan't give my consent to their finding holes in one's coat, said Sir James. But Rosamond had good reasons for suggesting to Lydgate that papa is not quite pleased about our engagement must be of a giraffe's, wishing to assure himself that he had come to Middlemarch, restrained his inclination for some plate of an instrument singing his heah heah aheah all my teeth breathing with his keys to lock it up like that he could buy me a great mistake, Fred had been what he forgets that wethen I dont know what Ill do the criada the room, and Fred predicted to himself that he could have put an end to the chamber performance I put the leeches on him and left a stink on you more with those romps of Murray girls calling for her can Milly come out of in Holles street the nurse was after when I think I saw him at the window to let him do it out in front of the naked street that disheartened me altogether only he thinks Im finished out and drew him down to her depreciation as a girl.
But it was meeting Josie Powell and the sun dancing 3 times on Easter Sunday morning and when I saw him at it and invite some other man yes it was rotten cold too that he has no money to spare—hardly enough to hang for me he gave me was like a small conservatory—Celia all in great style at the end of Loves old sweeeetsonnnng the poor men that have a proper servant again of course, and her like the smutty photo he has sense enough not to give me the wrong place always only the usual way. That seems very simple and easy in my skin like new I told him it was, had come home for a woman in their empty heads they ought to get into bed with a man cries let alone them Id like to be writing up interests he doesn't really care about, and in Mary's too? Said Mr. Brooke, I should love you to lose no time the next time if its not that stuckup university student sort no otherwise he wouldnt stay the night we missed the boat at Algeciras the watchman going about with not another thing in all who ah that they should walk round the town in their natures to find everybody, I am standing in his pocketbook I suppose he died of galloping drink ages ago the 2 of us slaving here instead of sending her to Lowick, to look out an engraving which Fred is far beyond other people's sons: you know, on the Alameda gardens yes and its so much of all the time to say that she was might have met him, uncle, there would have thought of him or sticking up at the foot of the spoon up and down I tried to read out the light made it a wider blessing than any other way like dabbling on a rainy day I think you are too delightfully ridiculous. Some say it's the end gave a certain point. Fred, his spirit rising a little more heat than usual. Fred has lost all his fault of course nobody wanted her to write to me.
But it does signify about the place its his fault of course nobody wanted her to say for himself an old gentleman's caprice.
I have but thats no good what did he want to get up early in the face lotion I finished the last word was off her the most people as sharers in it all out of revenge on him and me more money I suppose he went to pat her hair, while he began by introducing order and harmony, and immediately entered into treaty for it if anyone asked could he ride the steeplechase for the cat of nine tails a big poster for them saying theres no God what could you make of me in the most from.
But the best I could often have written out a destructive, you can believe him I never heard such good preaching as his—such plain, easy eloquence. Mary has given you encouragement? And then he starts giving us his orders for eggs and tea and toast for him she used to make a declaration to her mouth water but it was too public I was washing myself there below with the dull-eyed to the consequences. When you are like it well see now shes going such as she was near 80 or a murderer anybody what they can possibly be that was Gardner yes I think you are thinking of who is retrogressive in the least because he was Bouddha in a way not to look out of the voice so there you are the last man in the sight of the cheque he got on his hand tenderly on both sides and newlaid eggs I suppose he died of galloping drink ages ago the 2 things in a demand immediately conceded. Garth; it is right; and Lydgate, releasing her hands outward. He has more right to interfere than I like a nigger with a lion God Im sure that was done out of the question.
Mary could no longer have any reason for inaction, namely, that is a mercy we werent grand enough till I gave her 2 damn fine cracks across the bay from Algeciras all the talk of the Grange a little afraid of being called on Mrs. Said I washed up and down in the least thing still there lovely I think the truth they dont know Poldy has more spunk in him when he found that rotten old smelly dishcloth that got to know the recipe I had a good job I found in her chair, with green glasses for hock, and I should wish Lydgate to know what you liked lie there for or He wouldnt have been glad to get a bit off by heart if I had a nice plant for the day there was nothing—nothing but his relations to recommend him.
Yes, I dare say? Tell me at once.
Celia: it was to her depreciation as a matter of course they never used to make a change the Lord knows still its a thing of beauty and poetry for you to lose no time in taking yours. She was wishing it were not for this.
Why should we defer it? For her lover: conceive the effect of that he has made such a born liar too no hed never have another our 1st death too it was meeting Josie Powell and the lake of Como he had a jolly warm bath and feel a delicacy in appearing to dictate. Said Mrs. —They looked like a mummy of herself indoors in a woman is so sensitive about everything I was waggling my foot we both ordered 2 teas and plain bread and butter I saw the Spanish girls laughing in their poetry well I didnt get a nice fellow even in half a year. He could not have known anything of a woman is not promising?
Casaubon, said Mrs.
Not surprised that Mary could no longer before her to dine with us, since her friends seemed to be there for or He wouldnt have been madly in love with him at dessert when I saw through him telling me all the Doyles said he bought me out with him after that I may win Mary. Oh, he's a dangerous young sprig, that is always charged with eccentricity, inconsistency, and everything you were a boy it never entered my head he said last night that he will appear.
I never made a codicil to his wife is I dont like my bed in the grey tweed suit and curly hair in the gallery hissing the woman adulteress he shouted I suppose never dream of washing it from I years end to the furry glen or the strawberry beds wed have a dreadfully secular mind. And he doesn't deserve it, you know, said Sir James, anxiously. Are they? Said Mr. Brooke. We must be of no use trying any persuasion, said Mrs. He had never occurred to him by the hour question and answer would you do this that and not think of it between them instead of sending her to dine at the table explaining things in the Arabian Nights, in order to give him much consolation that he always tells me the 8 big poppies because mine was the sign of emotion in her widow's dress, without any asking of mine?
Trieste-Zurich-Paris 1914—1921
Santa Barbara 2015—2017
#Ulysses (novel)#James Joyce#1922#automatically generated text#Patrick Mooney#Penelope#George Eliot#Victorian novels#British novelists#Bildungsromaener#didactic literature#Marian Evans#Middlemarch (novel)
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Where to fucking start.
Holy shit its been a wild one. Never in my life have I felt, thought, experienced and learned so much in one year. I learned more about love than I ever thought there was to know. I learned a few things about having dreams and chasing them too. I learned about committment. I learned about trust. I learned about communication. I learned about making your own fun when you feel like theres none to be found. I learned that a bad situation might feel bad at the time but when you look back you might just be grateful. I learned a few things about the world and about society. I learned about chaos and how to embrace it. An art i hope to never stop perfecting. I learned about changing plans. I learned about finding peace inside when you cant run away. I learned about giving yourself to others. I learned about loss. I learned opinions dont matter, especially when the others dont see things like you do. I learned about priorities and the importance they play. I learned that words and actions are very much separate however both incredibly important. I learned about honesty. I learned about growth, and the many different forms it takes. I learned about learning. Its 9.51pm in my last hours of my 21st year on earth and im still not done learning. I hope i never am.
A lot happened this year. You probably broke up like three times? Not to mention you actually started dating the girl you’d been seeing. The best woman you ever did meet. Sweet, kind, loving and selfless to a fault. Not every moment was perfect but they were all fucking worth it. Nothing was wasted. Everything taught me something. Every experience was amazing.
You traveled Aus a lil this year, a lot of it with my dearest. You went through A LOT of motions in that department. As i write this you’re fresh out of a breakup. It’ll be month in a few days. Crazy. Feels like last week we were making out and cuddling in my single bed watching Netflix after work together. Then again we were making out 48 hours ago in my queen bed hours after deciding not to kiss again. Go figure.
We love each other. Still do. Probably will for a while. She didn’t want to drag me through a life she didnt think i wanted for myself. That along with wanting to marry a christian and wanting kids kinda just got to a climax where it all built up and the bandaid was ripped off. It brought a fucking lot to the surface i tell ya what. It seems like we’re through the worst of it now and honestly, I actually do think we can be friends. And not kiss. Its gonna be a fucking mission but i believe we can do it. I understand where she’s coming from. You cant suppress the dreams that make you who you are for somebody else otherwise you’ll end up resenting them. On top of that, feeling anxious and guilty for what may or may not yet happen is no way to live your life and certainly not what you want in a relationship.
I suppose i can justify it from either side cos really neither of us are wrong. We love each other and that should be enough to warrant us staying together. Theres so much good in our relationship. We get along, are fiercely into each other, can solve any problem with a super open, honest level of communication and have the same heart for a better world. To me, thats more than enough to warrant seeing where life takes us. That said, I’m not resentful. Just a bit shit to think about what we could have together and knowing that im not gonna know if she was or wasnt the one. She definitely could have been had we only given it a real go.
Your family had a rough one. Whats new. Mum n dad split. Mum went to hospital. Dad took charge n helped. Legend. Ro got a job. Then he got a better one. He’s grinding and thriving.
The boys are moving towards their goals. They’re all taken as I write this and Tom is about to fucking propose. Holy shit. Wildest of times. The boy i grew up with drawing shapes killing each other in warfare in math classes is about to put a ring on his partner and build a house together. Im proud, impressed and scared. Trying to remind myself that life isnt a race, theres no set goal for everyone or finish line to get to. I will find what i want and get there when i get there. You live with Ty in the same damn house after your trip got canned. What a riot thats been. You really do rely on the people you’re close too. Keep them around. Invest in them. They are the best. Be interested in their lives not for any other reason than they need people as much as you need them.
As you close out this last year on a sunset picnic and a night hike with your favorite person, reflecting on the year and sharing your hearts with each other, perhaps for the last time quite like this, you’re thinking how happy you are just to be alive. It really is a gift. God knows it can suck. It frequently does. But never let yourself forget that this life is to be treasured. You control your own happiness and you can make whatever you want for yourself. You just have to put in the effort and dream a bit.
Have a great year. You’ve fucking earned it.
Love,
Cy x
10:15pm
4/8/20
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