#with the progress we’ve made and am incredibly thankful for your support

[ducktracy]

!!!NEW REVIEW!!!

“what film of Chuck Jones’ takes the most inspiration from Disney?” is a loaded question to ask, as it seems there are so many to fit the bill. Tom Thumb in Trouble, at the very least, is certainly one of them—even if Disney himself was past the days of producing similar kinds of epics for his short films. a spiritual successor to Old Glory (from Bob McKimson wiping the floor with his incredible animation to the inclusion of actor Sheppherd Strudwick), Jones places his own spin on the folktale, which includes a grave misunderstanding over a bird’s intentions with Tom.

#the 22nd marked 3 years of doing these!! i’m a bit behind and will be gunning to catch up these next few weeks but i’m exceedingly happy #with the progress we’ve made and am incredibly thankful for your support #i’m not sure how many actually stop to give these a read but if you do i thank you from the bottom of my heart #we’re just getting to the goods! here’s to many more #lt #looney tunes #tom thumb in trouble #jones #reviews

[writingwithcolor]

Announcement: No Longer Answering Rubber Stamp Questions

Introduction

Here at Writing With Color, we’ve noticed a shift in the questions we are receiving. In the past, the majority of questions challenged the necessity of diversity in fiction or asked for assistance in making diversity seem more plausible in world-building. We also received many questions on how to describe and characterize people of color in respectful ways that didn’t demonize different races, ethnicities and religions.

By and large, we see that our followers understand why these concepts are important, and for that we congratulate you! This kind of progress takes real, long-term, internal work. Our team hopes that any advice or input you received from us over the years has helped you continue to develop as a writer. We hope you will continue to support us in the future and are especially pleased to hear from our non-white commenters who have let us know when our content has let them feel seen or heard.

However…

We have noticed a recent trend in asks that is discouraging. Many askers seem concerned with receiving our blanket approval of a particular concept or character. These asks often don’t provide us with the direction and context crucial to providing advice from a race or ethnicity-based perspective. Examples include:

“I’m writing a character from [insert background] who has [insert traits]. Is this ok?”

“I’m creating a world where I have made [insert concept] the basis of my world-building. Is this allowed?”

Hi, I’m a [insert identity]. Is it problematic to have [concept/ character] in my story?

“I’m creating a [Race A] character with [these] traits, a [Ethnicity 1] character with [those] traits, a [Race B] character with [some other traits] and a [sex/ gender minority] character with a [different set of traits]. Is this combination offensive?

We call these questions rubber stamp questions. If this describes your question, there’s no need to feel bad. We realize that there was never an explicit explanation of this concept. In addition, our team is mindful of the changing demographics of tumblr that might make it mean we are receiving questions from a younger user-base are not yet familiar with many of the principles we outline on this website. However, on that note…

What is Rubber Stamping?

Rubber stamping refers to the practice of seeking an endorsement without questioning or seeking to alter the status quo. The purpose of Writing With Color is to be a focal point for discussion about diversity in writing rather than simply prescribe a series of corrective measures. Without knowing the asker’s intent (Which we can’t, since we aren’t mind readers), our moderators are not in a position to provide you with carte blanche for your writing concept in the name of all other non-white people. Yes, we have a certain level of skill and expertise on many of these topics, but we are not here to take on the burden of all PoC to approve your writing choices. Nor would it be fair to other PoC if you took our response as a reason to dismiss the perspectives of other PoC (An unfortunately common phenomenon).  

Bluntly, on the moderator end, these asks are also incredibly frustrating because they are vague and thus:

Time consuming

Labor intensive (mentally and emotionally)

The last example from the previous section (AKA “Laundry lists”) is particularly time consuming because multiple moderators must collaborate to produce an answer that boils down to each moderator saying, “I guess it depends??? *shrug*” but in slightly different ways.

Perhaps the biggest problem with rubber stamp asks is they feel (to us) like they are more about the asker’s desire for closure/ approval/ virtue signaling than a willingness to participate in the kind of education and discussion on diversity we are trying to foster on this blog.

To that effect: We will no longer be answering such questions.

(If you sent in such ask before this goes up on November 15th, 2020, a moderator may reach out to you individually to better address your inquiry as submitted.)

However: Don’t worry! We also are here to teach you how to makes these questions better!

Fixing Rubber Stamp questions:

1. Be specific.

Instead of Can I/ May I, try “How can I” or “When can I” or “What can I”?

Thus instead of: “I’m Christian. May I create a Jewish character seeking to become an actress in 1920s Hollywood?” —> “How do I, as a Christian, create a compelling Jewish character while being mindful of the interplay between my own intrinsic bias and historical accounts of prominent Jewish figures in early Hollywood?”Or, instead of: “I want to write a story about a modern day piracy in the East Indian Ocean, but with magic. Is this problematic? —> “Given the continuation of modern day piracy in the East Indian Ocean, what are some tropes I should avoid if I decide to go with a modern fantasy set in this region?”

2. Remember: The goal is improved understanding, not approval. Sometimes, you really just want to know *why* you can’t use a particular concept, and that curiosity is good! Questions that ask “Why?” in good faith are often how you can learn a lot about your own intrinsic biases and the limits of your own knowledge.

Thus, instead of: If I write about [controversial topic], am I a bad person? —> Why is it better for someone like me to not write about [controversial topic]?

This approach has the bonus effect of making us feel like you actually care about what we think.

3. Write your question as a draft: Edit your ask at least once or twice to provide as much information as possible while being concise. I’ve told this to college students before, but I can tell when a person wrote their assignment by the quality of the writing. Writing done late at night, when sleep deprived and without at least one edit contains extraneous information while not having a clear point.

Going through your question (Preferably a day after you wrote it) will help you narrow down what you really want to know.

Remember: You all have free will and can write whatever you please. We presume that you seek WWC’s input because you wish to write on issues pertaining to people of color with greater levels of awareness. On a practical note, we recognize that social media, trolling, call-outs, doxxing and other dimensions of cyberbullying make writers online hesitant to do anything unless they think they have the majority of the public on their side. There are times when it is obvious that the asker is asking more because they need approval to feel less anxious when they share their work with others.

However, if the above is your worry, either you aren’t ready to write on this topic or you need to rethink the boundaries you set with the online communities/ individuals you interact with as well as how you manage your internet presence. With respect to personal anxieties when it comes to writing, morality, your conscience and so forth, we recommend turning to your own support systems IRL. As relative strangers on the internet, we are not well-qualified to allay personal concerns.

Remember: Writing with diversity is like training for a marathon. Give yourself permission to expand your comfort zone at the pace your research capabilities and experience allow!

We appreciate that you all trust us to provide helpful, well-thought out feedback for your ideas, and we also thank you for respecting our perspectives even if you may disagree. In the same vein, we request that you put the level of thought into your questions you think appropriate given that another human being is going to spend, at a minimum, several hours coming up with their response. We look forward to hearing from you! 

- The WWC Team

(A link to this article will be added to the pinned FAQ for everyone’s reference)

#WWC #Announcements #Housekeeping #FAQ article #Rubber Stamp #Question Guidelines #Updates #WWC Updates

[greenhappyseed]

Things are getting dark in the BNHA manga, so I wanted to return to brighter times and do a post on Inko Midoriya and her many parallels with All Might. Their interactions are some of my favorites in BNHA, not as a ship (although I am multi-ship friendly) but as two adult humans with little in common and no overlapping life experiences that nonetheless become co-parents because of deep empathy and one determined kid with a knack for bringing people together. The canon Inko-All Might interactions are short, but they occur at critical points in the story and touch on almost all major themes of the series.

The main chapter where All Might and Inko meet starts with them depicted as adversaries, facing off for a fight. #1 hero vs mama bear! Except...they don’t actually fight. They talk through what they each want for Izuku and come to a mutual understanding. These characters really see and trust each other in a way that contrasts with the Todoroki “watch me” story. Before I dive deep, check out the difference between the beginning and the end of Chapter 97, because this art is everything:

Ok, now for the good stuff.

1. In a story about succession and what we owe future generations, Inko is All Might’s predecessor with respect to Izuku. If Nana Shimura gave him OFA and made him a hero, Inko gives him a second life and unofficially-but-actually-officially makes him a “dad.”

2. Much like how All Might can’t be the sole pillar supporting society, Inko can’t be the sole pillar supporting Izuku. The difference is that we watch Inko arrive at this conclusion in the span of one chapter while All Might and, uh, society, aren’t there yet. When Inko truly sees how much Izuku is driven to become a hero, and how much he NEEDS something she can’t give, she starts to back down. Unlike Endeavor, she knows her son’s future is not about her.

Izuku wants this so much he won’t stay with Inko and will “go wherever”.... and it’s almost like All Might will follow to help Izuku be that hero...

3. Speaking of, allowing Izuku to move out at 15 and having All Might “raise” him is an incredible sacrifice on Inko’s part. She’s unexpectedly “retiring” as an active day-to-day parent and letting go of the one thing she spent her life building and protecting. Trusting your life’s work in someone else’s hands is really, really hard, but she does it. (Can All Might?)

After the Overhaul arc, we see Inko acknowledging the progress Izuku has made, which includes All Might by extension (because she’s clearly thinking about him too). Seeing how Izuku can grow without her, Inko is slowly getting comfortable with her decision to “retire.” (Can All Might?)

4. Inko’s weight gain parallels All Might’s weight loss in that both characters neglect themselves to help others (parenting and hero-ing) and they PARTICULARLY ignore themselves when worrying about Izuku.

5. Izuku, Inko, and All Might all seem to know when people need a little saving. Starting with Inko...when All Might flexes into his iconic muscle form and performs dogeza (and then poofs down to his true form), he’s not merely apologizing — he’s showing deference to Inko. She has power over All Might AND she’s not sold on the bloody reality of her son becoming a hero, even if she supports his dream. From here, she could block the next symbol of peace. She could take away the child All Might loves. She could extract whatever she wanted from the longtime #1 hero. Just think about what some other, less charitable characters might do.

But Inko doesn’t take anything from All Might. Instead, Inko sees how much Izuku and All Might need each other (I mean, LOOK AT THEIR FACES when they think she’s saying no!!!). She moves to reassure All Might that Izuku needs him, that she doesn’t hate UA (even though she railed against the school minutes earlier), and that she doesn’t want an big, heroic sacrifice. Inko trusts he will help Izuku “walk a path” different from his bloody one. She just wants a happy child, and All Might is integral to that because these 2 boys are a bonded pair. Izuku lives for All Might and All Might lives for Izuku. All for one and one for all, united we stand divided we fall. Inko sees how deeply All Might respects and cares for Izuku, to the point that the next symbol of peace is secondary (unlike Endeavor, who is invested in Shoto carrying on his legacy above all else).

Oh hey, 200 chapters later, it turns out All Might IS willing to follow Izuku anywhere, because he just can’t be apart from his boy. And, after Inko and All Might built mutual respect in Chapter 97, we see in Chapter 309 that All Might is not afraid to cry in front of Inko and show his real concern about Izuku. (He doesn’t cry in Chapter 97, but he readily lets the waterworks flow in Chapter 309.)

Now, we don’t see Inko’s reaction to All Might beyond the second panel below, but we know she previously decided to trust the boys despite her own fears. It’s not out of character for her to trust them again. In fact, it’s kinda sweet to see them both reassure her [while still clinging to their dumb plans, sigh]. Izuku makes clear he’s not intending to sacrifice his life, and All Might won’t let Izuku go alone. Of course, both of these promises will be...challenged...in chapters 310+, but the intent is there and that’s all Inko can ask for (I mean, that was all she originally asked of All Might in exchange for her consent — no sacrifice + “look after” Izuku.)

Finally, note how All Might stands throughout the scene, projecting a large, protective presence because it’s his turn to give back. Izuku extends his hand to his mother; All Might extends his height above them both. For all of 309 he’s high above Inko and Izuku; in 97, he’s shown equal to or below Inko except the brief moment he looms over them just before kneeling to the floor.

6. Inko and All Might only interact twice in the manga, but both times are critical turning points between acts AND both times are shortly after encounters with villains — Shigaraki/AFO in particular. The first is in the immediate aftermath of Kamino and All Might’s retirement (literally, All Might retires at the beginning of Chapter 96 and he meets Inko at the end). The second Inko-All Might interaction is in the immediate aftermath of the war and jailbreak (Chapter 309). At a meta-level, Inko’s character page is at the end of Chapter 94, right after we see Izuku & Shigaraki with AFO saying “it’s your turn.”

Interestingly there are TWO earlier near-interactions in canon. The first is in the School Briefs light novel, taking place just after the internships/Stain arc and before final exams. TL;DR: There’s a Parents Day at UA that involves a villain kidnapping 1A’s parents (spoiler: it’s really a rational deception by Aizawa and the parents are in on it). But things go awry and Inko nearly falls into a fire pit for real. A playing-the-villain-but-actually-in-his-true-form All Might swoops in to save her, of course! Afterwards, Inko runs over to thank him, thinking she’s talking to a local theater actor. :)

Lastly, in Chapter 70, right after Izuku runs into Shigaraki at the mall, Inko and All Might are both near Izuku at the police station. However, neither one speaks to or acknowledges the other, and the art doesn’t even show them together. The closest we get is the bottom right panel:

Despite both All Might and Izuku knowing about these two near-meetings, neither one tells Inko. My head canon is that they do this to avoid embarrassing her — she’s obviously terrified when All Might visits her home, so All Might saying, “we’ve met but you didn’t know” would be impolite. Likewise, if she at all remembered All Might from the police station, she doesn’t say so. Kindness all around!

I don’t know if it’s likely, but I’m really hopeful that a “found family” with most (all?) of these characters will happen in the end (maybe with Shigaraki too??)....I enjoy them way too much!!

#bhna #mha #my hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #all might #mha all might #mha inko #bnha inko #bnha all might #bnha meta #inko midoriya #midoriya inko #yagi toshinori #mha toshinori #toshinori yagi

[stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland]

Enzo anon here - the more this era is progressing, my theory about gaymila being used as damage control and for profit seems to be happenening.

I have some thoughts that I know many other CS share, i think it would be good to summarise what i’ve seen on different blogs into one post as well as adding my own theory. So this will be a long one but i hope you guys find it insightful and Stuck thank you again for giving me a space on your blog!

Let’s look back on CC2 and the aftermath of its release. A quick disclaimer : I’ll only be addressing her situation in terms of the social/PR aspect as we have no idea what other factors might be at play such as contracts and money etc.

It’s fair to say that C was and is not in a good place reputation wise. Señorita was of course a smash hit but was mostly used to promote S. Her fans complained about C almost becoming a double act with S. These fans understandably signed up for C, not S and so subsequently most of them unfollowed her on SM and stopped paying attention to her to escape the constant Showmila. For the GP, Showmila became a mockery and so it’s asking a lot from her fans to stay when she was constantly embarrassing herself to the point that it made it uncomfortable for them. Of course with this comes the racist controversies also involving Normani which brought back the entire 5H feud. This put C even further than she already was against LAND and so the narrative that she was hated by the other girls for being obnoxious and attention seeking was further reinforced by her being racist towards N. All of this made/makes Camila extremely easy to hate, to the public she seems like a privileged straight girl who has never once had any sort of difficulty or obstacle in her life.

On the CS side of the fandom, many having left after having enough of the Showmila circus, leaves very few CS to fight back against the narrative. Even more leave after Lauren’s bombshell of a podcast. For example, this graph from google trends show how searches for “camren” or “camila cabello camren” are/were decreasing.

We know that CS are a very large part of C’s fanbase so who are we left with ? Many solo C stans all have converted into SS accounts and again even then S takes the main focus, not C. So… its not looking good, having people being fans of yours only for your relationship is a risky move business wise. We’ve all wanted Showmila to end for a long while and we definitely can all agree that the end is long overdue, infact a lot of us believe that had there not been the pandemic they would’ve broken up a while ago. So where does C stand now? Well, in my opinion, after this entire circus (which unfortunately is still ongoing) C is in a very vulnerable position. How does she promote her upcoming album with so much of her fanbase gone? Perhaps a big break up album? That option doesn’t sound great when she most likely will get the short end of the stick narrative wise and be further disliked by the little fans she does has left. If Camila doesn’t have Shawn anymore, the SS will most likely all disappear leaving her with a very limited amount of people who have the guts to actually publicly support her. Another option she could have is to keep riding on this relationship until people get bored, only that’s already happening and Showmila does not have the punch it once did to get a second Señorita. What about a fake pregnancy or a marriage? God we hope not and I really believe that Camila would do anything in her power to avoid that as we’ve seen how extremely unhappy she seems just being his girlfriend. For all we know Shawn might be very against this idea too and even if they did go along with it would it really be enough to promote CC3 ? After a few weeks the excitement would have died down again and leave them both back to square one. Not to mention that C getting married/pregnant would make even some of her most dedicated fans leave for good and would still not be enough to get her out of the racist accusations.

This is where my theory comes into play, however i think her team will only follow through with this if they are smart and if they aren’t actually sabotaging her. This past year I watched as Taylor Swift released her two albums and broke numerous records and achieved incredible success. I do not think this success would’ve been achieved had it not been for the insane rise in speculation over her sexuality due to her new songs. T is of course a household name, she’s earned her place amongst the top artists of this generation but people were starting to get bored hearing dramatic songs about her oh so difficult love life being a straight white girl. This is why when folklore and evermore came out there was so much buzz and excitement about T possibly being LGBTQ to the point that it found it’s way to the GP. People were wondering what these gay songs with gay lyrics were and so they went to listen for themselves. Eventually tons and tons of extra streams and talk generated from people who would’ve otherwise never paid attention. Myself included. You can see below on google trends the massive increase in online searches for “gaylor swift”. The gaylor side of tumblr also expanded as there had never been so many songs with so much queer interpretations to analyse and discuss and more and more of the GP were getting curious enough to read the blogs. Regardless if you think Taylor is gay or not, the general public discussing it was an essential part in improving her image for Gen Z and promoting her albums thus creating $$$ for her team and label.

Keeping this in mind, I believe that C might (not having many options left to salvage her career/reputation) take a page out of TS’s book and have an era that will attract more LGBT fans than ever before. We’ve seen how camren is slowly coming back. Even just by C liking a picture of L’s it was enough to bring back out a whole lot of fans who had abandoned her. Her team see this, they know this, they are aware. If talks of Camila being gay will generate more $$$ they will use that to their advantage and push out the new gay narrative as much as they can. I don’t think she will explicitly come out any time soon, and i don’t think that they will “confirm camren” but this era will definitely set her up for it in the future like the way it has for TS and it will give her a stable fanbase for a long while, which at the moment she is in dire need of.

Although C would’ve probably liked her relationship with L to remain private I think she may have no other choice but to use it more than she ever has before to save herself. Sadly no amount of self improvement and apologies will ever erase her racist past, it will follow her forever and people will never stop talking about it, unless there’s something more interesting to discuss. That’s the way the internet works, a photo of camren together in 2021/2022 would generate more buzz than anything Showmila related. Not only would all of the CS who left come back but all the anti-CS would be talking about it too and an entire wave of new fans would be interested enough to join. There would be no room to talk about Camila Cabello being racist when Camila Cabello is actually gay/dating Lauren Jauregui is the new talk.

Of course this entire process will not be instant but we can see that they are building up to something like that. Perhaps Camren being public friends again which would still generate a ton of talk as it did back in the 5H days. She will not instantly break up with S and then be seen making out with L the next day but I do think that although it wasn’t her or her teams plan to use her relationship/sexuality, i think she has no other choice if she ever wants to gain favour with the public again. Let’s not forget that the rest of 5H seem to be on their way to having new music out very very soon and just as camren worked to promote 5H in the old days it will work again in 2021/2022. This would encourage her team even more to follow this route as it would suit everyone, even if they no longer are a group they will always be connected.

We shall wait and see what happens, of course circumstantial situations may arise to cause them to switch up their plans but for now all this 5H, camren and gaymila interactions are no coincidence. That’s for sure.

This concludes my very long post! thank you to anyone who took the time to read this, thank you again to Stuck and if anyone has anything else to add that i might have missed or any questions don’t hesitate! I love hearing what everyone else has to say. To clarify these are all my personal thoughts and speculations and I am not claiming to know anything for certain.

____

Wow, I didn't expect to be a window into another great submission from my dear buddies, but Enzo, I loved your post. And I really totally agree with you in what you mentioned.

The truth is that it is true, Camila has been selling her LGBT + agenda of hers since 2020 and even long before because I always had the theory that she would be let out after having a big heterosexual PR circus. This PR circus with the diva is that circus and what we have been seeing, because it checks all our theories.

As for Gaymila, she has always been there. More crushed with the fucking circus shit maybe, but she's always been there and one thing I want to emphasize is that most of Camila's fandom other than SS or homophobic, would accept Camila out of the closet, ALWAYS AND WHEN NOT WITH LAUREN.

That is why I think Camila would have more followers if the aforementioned are left aside, because they would have no problem supporting her and we would be more, considering that those clowns are partly paid fans and bots.

I don't think she will even give him permission to leave her, but if she does it is because that would also be part of her contract. Of her agreeing to do all this theater of the absurd with the circus, as long as they let her out at the end.

The fucking shit hole that is the industry knows that it has to please its LGBT + audience because we are the ones who support artists the most. The main audience for them may always be heterosexuals, but when they get bored and look for something else, the ace up their sleeve will always be the community and with the examples that you have given my dear Enzo, that is proof of it.

The thing with Camila is that she's never been in the closet. They forced her into a closet and that's different. Camila always felt good being herself and they have tried to cover that with different types of circuses since she was in the band because it is what suits business.

What we are seeing now with Camila is that, a double agenda, that of the circus managed by the idiots behind it and Camila's own agenda that lets us see Gaymila from time to time.

And when I talk about an agenda, I do not do it in a negative way but as something that she must have already planned.

My theme now is that it will come in that aspect. I don't think I'm waiting for a circus engagement or a lavender marriage, but I do hope that Camila can set Gaymila freer every time. Unfortunately, everything else is still very screwed up and this circus just represses it more and more.

The problem is that as long as she does not regain some control over her career and her image, no matter how small, nothing will change.

#submission #enzo anon #love you buddy

[purrincess-chat]

Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s Spite Playlist: Remix CH23

There’s a lot happening in this chapter XD Poor Eliott. I have a surprise for everyone next chapter. I hope you’re all ready for it! See you next Friday!

Previous    First      Next     AO3

Chapter 23: Break Free

“Help!”

“Why? What’s wrong?” Marinette clutched her purse. “Is there an akuma?”

“Worse,” Eliott moaned. “Lisette asked me on a date, and I kind of accidentally said yes.”

Marinette breathed a sigh of relief and rolled her eyes. “Eliott, that’s not an emergency.”

“Yeah, don’t scare me like that!” Macy swatted his arm.

“Sorry.” Eliott winced.

“So, why is having a date with Lisette a bad thing? I thought you liked her,” Martin said.

“Well, yeah, but that doesn’t mean I want to go out with her!” Eliott replied.

“I’m confused.” Martin turned to Macy, who sighed.

“Eliott is the most flirtatious person in school, but he malfunctions when people flirt back.” She explained.

Eliott collapsed onto the couch with a groan, burying his face in his hands. “What am I gonna do?”

“You can always back out if you don’t want to go.” Marinette suggested while preparing the tea.

“That’s just it. I do want to go.” Eliott sighed. “I like Lisette—more than I thought I would. She’s smart and funny and down-to-earth. I’ve just never been on a date before.”

Marinette carried a tray over and set it on the coffee table, plopping down beside him. “I’m sure you’ll be fine. Lisette is nice.”

“What are you two going to do?” Martin asked.

“We’re going to a movie.”

“Eli, that’s the easiest date ever. You just sit in silence for two hours,” Macy said pointedly.

“But what if I spill my drink in my lap? Or in her lap? Or what if I trip over my shoelaces or start sweating really badly-” Eliott was spiraling faster than Marinette usually did with Adrien.

“Eliott, none of those things are going to happen. Just relax, and you’ll be fine.” When Eliott remained quiet, Marinette placed a hand on his shoulder. “I know you’re scared, but I talked to Lisette at her party a few weeks ago. She’s really sweet, and I can tell she really likes you.”

“I guess…” Eliott sighed.

“You’re the smoothest guy I know. Girls at school actually swoon when you walk by.” Macy took a seat on his other side. “Marinette is right. You’ll be fine.”

“I’m just so nervous. I really like Lisette, and I don’t want to screw anything up.” He lowered his gaze to his lap, and Macy pursed her lips.

“Tell you what, why don’t we turn it into a group date? I’ll take Martin, and Marinette can ask Adrien. That way we’ll all be there for you if you start to get nervous.” Macy suggested.

“Marinette can ask who?” Heat spread rapidly across her cheeks. Things with Adrien were certainly escalating, but Marinette wasn’t sure she was confident enough to make the first move!

“Oh, don’t you start!” Macy giggled. “Looks like Martin and I are going to be supporting both of you nervous Nancys.”

Martin’s cheeks darkened three shades, but he didn’t protest. Eliott wasn’t the only one panicking now. How did this happen?

“I don’t want to drag you guys into this if you don’t want to,” Eliott said.

Marinette eyed him with pursed lips. It wasn’t that long ago that her old friends were helping her plot scheme-after-scheme to win Adrien over. When she’d been afraid, they had her back. Even if they were gone now, Marinette could still extend the same support to her new friends. Besides, Adrien might finally be able to kiss her—that would be a dream!

Taking a deep breath, Marinette offered Eliott a smile.

“We’re your friends. We’ve got your back,” she said.

“Thanks, Marinette. Sorry I crashed your celebration.” Eliott flicked his gaze down to the macarons on the tray.

Marinette pulled him in for a tight hug, and Macy and Martin joined in. Eliott relaxed in their arms. The past few months had been a rollercoaster for better and worse. Marinette had lost friends, gained friends, been presented with opportunities she only ever dreamed of. With Adrien closer to her than ever, she was finally starting to feel at ease, and although Lila’s threats still loomed over her, they were drifting further away. Marinette was burying her past more than ever, and soon enough, she was going to break free.

♪♫♪ New Romantics ♪♫♪

“Evening, m’lady. How is the prettiest girl in the world?” Adrien grinned when she answered his video call.

Marinette leaned back in her desk chair, her knitting abandoned in her lap much like Adrien’s Chinese notecards were in his. It had been a few days since Eliott’s meltdown, and she still hadn’t asked Adrien to be her date. Time was running out, but how could she ask the cutest boy in the world on a date when he said things that made her so flustered? Adrien had gotten bolder with his compliments, even slipping in the occasional pet name, and it made her brain all floaty. Although, this one was her least favorite...

“She’s fine, but are you really going to call me that?”

“What’s wrong with m’lady? You don’t like it?” His perfect eyebrows knitted together.

“It’s…okay. I just think other names are cuter,” she said.

What was it with blond boys calling her m’lady? She finally got Chat Noir to stop calling her that, she didn’t need Adrien to start now.

“Well, what would you prefer I call you?” he asked, those green eyes hooding in a way that made her heart skip. Why did he have to be so gorgeous?

“You can call me whatever you want. Just not m’lady.” She crossed her arms over her chest, cheeks burning.

“Hmm.” Adrien studied her. “Well, I could call you my incredibly beautiful, angelic, and talented goddess, but that’s a little long.”

“Only a little.” She giggled.

He tapped his chin. “How about my radiant queen? My sweet macaron? Mon ange?”

Marinette’s head was spinning. She had hoped to get over her nerves when she and Adrien started dating, but as it turned out, she wasn’t prepared for all the attention at all.

Adrien chuckled when she covered her rosy cheeks with her hands, leaning against his fist with a soft smile.

“I suppose I’m getting ahead of myself. I haven’t even taken you on a proper date yet. I need to earn the right to call you those things,” he said.

Now was her chance.

“Um, actually, I wanted to ask you…” She pressed her palms together between her knees to hide how the shook. “See, Eliott has a date this Saturday, and he’s super nervous, so we all promised to make it a group date to support him. I was hoping if you were free that…you could be my date?”

“Okay.”

“I mean, it’s mostly just to support Eliott, so it’s not an actual date-date. Eliott just didn’t want to go alone, and we’re his friends, so we just want to make sure he feels comfortable. N-Not that I wouldn’t go out on a real date with you! I’d love to, if you wanted, and I guess this could count as a real date, but if you wanted to go on a date with just the two of us, that would be fine too. We could always pick a different day, and-”

“I’d love to be your date this weekend,” Adrien said.

Marinette breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh. Well, then awesome!”

“I’ll beg Nathalie to rearrange my schedule, so I can free up some time.” He promised.

“Kay.” Marinette tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear with a smile. “I hope you can come. I mean, Eliott really needs us, but also I want to… I’d be really happy if we got to spend time together.”

“Me too.”

“Adrien, I-” Her chest tightened, declarations shooting from her lungs to her lips, but Marinette caught them on her tongue. Out of all of her confession attempts, this time she was sure he’d reciprocate, but it didn’t feel right to say it now. A more cowardly Marinette would have confessed over video call, but she was done hiding behind cards and voice messages. These feelings were her most prized possession, and when she finally shared them with Adrien, she wanted to do it in person.

“Um,” she said. “I guess, I’ll see you Saturday?”

“I’ll do everything I can to be there.” He bit his lip. “See you soon, mon ange.”

“Yeah, see you soon.”

♪♫♪ Into You ♪♫♪

“How do I look?” Eliott asked.

“The same way you did five minutes ago,” Macy said pointedly.

Eliott paced the length of the sidewalk outside the movie theater where Marinette sat with Macy and Martin, tugging at his collar.

“Do I have anything in my tee-”

“Nope.” Macy cut him off.

“Eliott, you look great. No one’s as smooth as you, so just relax.” Marinette meant to be reassuring, but it didn’t pause his pacing.

Marinette leaned back, letting the sun warm her cheeks. Puffy, white clouds feathered the clear blue sky—the perfect weather for a date. She checked her phone again and bit her lip.

Nathalie cleared my afternoon today, so I’ll see you soon, mon ange!

Adrien would be arriving soon too. Their first date! It was finally happening. How many nights had she lied awake dreaming of this day? They’d gotten closer in the last month since she left. It was odd, but maybe it was true when they said absence made the heart grow fonder. Adrien certainly seemed interested in her now, calling her cute nicknames and complimenting her more frequently. She was starting to get used to it, or at least, she didn’t foam at the mouth whenever he flirted now. It was progress, considering she could barely talk to him a few months ago.

“Town car at 3 o’clock. Deep breaths, Eliott,” Macy said. She stood up and brushed the dust from her shorts. “You’re going to be fine. We’re all here for you.”

Marinette and Martin joined them as Lisette’s chauffeur opened her door, and two adorable blonde buns crawled out in a pink dress. Eliott stiffened, and Macy elbowed him. When he didn’t move, Macy rolled her eyes and stepped forward.

“Hey, Lisette. I love your dress,” she said.

“Thanks!” Lisette fluffed her skirt.

“Don’t you think she looks cute, Eliott?” Macy urged.

“Uhh, yeah, it’s fine.” Eliott rubbed the back of his neck.

Two hands pinched Marinette’s sides, and she startled, nearly dropping her phone into the gutter. Skilled hands caught her phone and spun her around without missing a beat, mischievous green eyes twinkling with amusement.

“Boo!”

“Adrien!” She flailed against his chest, and he shifted his weight to steady her. How was he always so graceful? “You scared me!”

“Sorry. I couldn’t resist.” He chuckled, leaning his forehead against hers. “Forgive me?”

“This time,” Marinette said.

Adrien placed a soft kiss to her knuckles. “It’s good to see you.”

Before Marinette could get too worked up, Macy cleared her throat.  

“Okay, looks like everyone is here. Shall we head inside?” She gestured to the theater.

Adrien’s hand brushed hers as they walked, timid and inquisitive. Marinette’s cheeks warmed, and she mustered the courage to slip her hand in his. Adrien twined their fingers, giving her palm an affectionate squeeze.

Another set of hands gripped their shoulders, and Eliott burst between them, shoving them apart.

“So, I was thinking for seating arrangements that we could do guys on one side and girls on the other,” he said.

“Or-” Macy interjected, leaning against the concessions counter- “you could sit by Lisette, and Marinette and I can sit by Adrien and Martin.”

“Another idea: Why don’t I sit between you and Marinette, then Lisette can sit on Marinette’s other side, and Martin and Adrien can sit together?” Eliott countered.

“Actually, I agree with Macy. I want to sit by Marinette.” Adrien took her hand again.

“Tell you what, why don’t Adrien and Marinette sit on the end, then Martin and I can sit next to you and Lisette in the middle.” Macy proposed.

“I think that sounds fair,” Lisette said, flashing Eliott a shy smile.

“Uhh, yeah. That could work, I guess…” He shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Great!” Macy beamed.

After purchasing their concessions, they made their way to their theater. Adrien held the door open for Marinette with a gentlemanly bow, and she bit back a smile. The theater was sparsely populated, giving them no shortage of seats near each other. Macy led the way to a row in the middle and ensured that everyone abided by the seating arrangements.

Eliott hesitated by his seat, shifting his weight. “Uh, I’m going to run to the bathroom, so I don’t have to get up during the movie.”

“Okay.” Lisette smiled up at him.

“Hurry back.” Macy gave him a stern look as he scurried back up the aisle.

Adrien gathered a few popcorn kernels and tried to catch them in his mouth. Marinette giggled after each failed attempt which only egged him on. When he finally caught one, he bowed theatrically, and she offered him a soft clap. He cast her a playful smirk, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Ya know, that was pretty impressive. I’d say I deserve a reward,” he said.

“What kind of reward?” Marinette asked, heart skipping a beat.

“Well, I have one in mind, but a gentleman always asks first.” He leaned in, eyelids hooding. “Will you reward me, mon ange?”

Marinette cupped his jaw in one hand, savoring how it made his breath hitch. Did she make his heart skip too? She’d never considered what physical reactions Adrien had to her. What thoughts kept him up at night?

Tilting her head, she closed her eyes, but before their lips touched, clumsy hands scrambled at their legs. They separated, cheeks hot as Eliott crawled over them to his seat.

“Sorry!” he whispered as the lights dimmed.

Adrien wasn’t deterred by the interruption. As the previews began, he draped an arm around Marinette’s shoulders, and she leaned against his chest. It felt as perfect as she’d always dreamed, but Marinette’s bliss was short-lived when Eliott tripped over Macy into her lap.

“Hey! Sorry, uh, do you guys have any napkins?” he asked.

“No, we didn’t grab any.” Marinette shook her head.

“Okay, I’m just gonna run out and get some.” Eliott climbed over Adrien.

Marinette and Macy exchanged concerned looks. It wasn’t the only time Eliott got up during the movie. First it was napkins, then he wanted the same kind of chocolate Marinette bought. Next, he needed a drink refill, then he needed to go to the bathroom because he chugged all of his refill.

“Where are you going now?” Macy hissed, tugging his shirt the next time he got up.

“Another refill.” He waved his empty cup.

Macy facepalmed.

“Fine. I’ll go.” She snatched the cup away from him and pointed to his seat. “Go. Sit.”

Eliott slumped back to his seat with a pout, and Macy slid up the aisle, grumbling to herself.

“Poor Eliott. He’s so nervous, he can’t even stay in his seat,” Marinette whispered.

“I don’t think he’s sat for longer than five minutes the whole time.” Adrien added.

To prove his point, Eliott moved back up the aisle. Since Macy was gone refilling his drink, Marinette was in charge.

“Where are you going?” she asked.

“Bathroom.”

“You just went twenty minutes ago,” Marinette said pointedly.

“I drank a lot of soda!” He shot back.

“The movie’s almost over. Can’t you wait?” She glanced at Lisette who was eyeing their exchange with furrowed brows.

“I pee a lot when I’m nervous! Marinette, please don’t make me pee my pants on a date.” Eliott pressed his palms together.

Another patron shushed them, and at Marinette’s permissive sigh, Eliott sprinted from the theater. Lisette sank in her seat, leaning against her fist. Marinette flicked her gaze between Lisette, Adrien, and the exit. She turned to Adrien, an apology on her lips, but he flashed her an understanding smile.

“Go.” He pressed a soft kiss to her knuckles. Why did he have to be so perfect?

She rose from her seat and chased after Eliott, her knuckles still tingling. As much as it pained her to leave Adrien, Eliott needed her more. He was curled into a ball outside the theater door when Marinette found him.

“Hey.” She placed a hand on his shoulder. “You okay?”

He peeked up at her with tortured eyes.

“No. I’m totally freaked! I can’t sit still for longer than ten seconds without feeling like I’m gonna throw up. I haven’t been this nervous since my first audition.” He lowered his head with a sigh. “Maybe I’m not cut out for dating.”

“Don’t say that.” Marinette chided. When he buried his face in his knees, she sat beside him. “If it makes you feel any better, I used to be the same way with Adrien. I could barely get two words out around him. My legs would get so jittery and gelatin-like that I could barely walk. I thought for sure he’d think I was insane, but ya know what? He never minded.”

She leaned her head back with a smile. “And now today, he and I almost kissed, and I was totally fine. Which, by the way, you so owe me for interrupting.”

“Sorry.” Eliott sighed. He stretched his legs out in front of him and leaned his head back to mirror Marinette’s position. “I feel like I ruined everything today.”

“There’s still time to save it,” Marinette said, “and you can always try again. I can’t tell you how many times I screwed up with Adrien. If Lisette really is the right person for you, then things will work out. The right people stay by your side, no matter how crazy you look.”

“Yeah, I guess.” He tapped his feet together. “I just really like Lisette, and it freaks me out. I’ve never really felt like this before. It’s all…new.”

“Maybe you should tell her that. I’m sure she’ll understand.” Marinette prompted.

Eliott offered her a smile, standing up and helping her to her feet. He pulled her in for a tight hug, leaning his head against hers. “Thanks, Marinette. I’ll reserve a romantic do-over date for you and Adrien.”

“I just want you to be happy, Eliott. We all do. That’s why we came along today,” Marinette said. “We’re always here for you.”

“I know. I’m really lucky to have friends like you and Macy.” Eliott pulled back with a sigh. “She’s going to kill me later.”

“Or she could do it right now.” Macy pressed the cold cup to his cheek, and Eliott flinched away with a yelp. “I see you got up again.”

“Yeah, sorry.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “But I think I’m good now. Marinette calmed me down.”

“Good. Let’s go back in and-” Macy’s voice trailed off as people started exiting their theater. “Don’t tell me-”

When Adrien, Martin, and Lisette walked out, Eliott slumped.

“Movie’s over,” Adrien said with a wince.

“That’s okay! Why don’t we all go get ice cream! I looked up Andre’s location while I was standing in line for drinks. He’s not that far from here.” Macy held up her phone.

“I could go for some ice cream.” Adrien glanced at Marinette with a smile.

“Yeah, ice cream sounds great.” Eliott echoed, casting Lisette a shy smile.

When they made it outside, Marinette slipped her hand into Adrien’s, twining their fingers together once more. Eliott was ahead of them chatting with Macy and Martin, so there was no risk of being interrupted. But… If Macy and Martin were with Eliott, where was Lisette?

Marinette stopped in her tracks, dropping Adrien’s hand as she spun around. Lisette hadn’t moved from the curb outside the theater. She picked at loose threads on her skirt, head low. Marinette abandoned Adrien for the second time, and Lisette looked up with a frown as she approached.

“You were wrong,” Lisette said.

“What?”

“About Eliott. I don’t think he likes me at all.” Lisette clarified.

“No! Eliott is just nervous.” Marinette insisted.

“I was nervous too! I kept telling myself that he said yes for a reason, but he’s barely even looked at me all day. I just can’t, Marinette.” Her big brown eyes bubbled with tears as a silver car rolled to a stop in front of them. “I’ll see you later.”

“Wait! Don’t go!” Marinette pleaded. Her head snapped up, eyes widening in horror. “Lisette, look out!”

#mdcspr #my writing

[hopelesshawks]

Official Accounts Part 36- Fight Club Shit

Summary: (y/n) was perfectly happy remaining anonymous, even if her best friends were all pro heroes and she worked under THE Hawks. Handling the technical aspects of hero work from the background suited her just fine, thank you very much. That goes out the window when suddenly her twitter blows up thanks Denki and the famed no. 2 hero is asking her to run his own official twitter as a result

If you don’t want to see Official Accounts content blacklist #hopelessoa

Masterlist

“Wait, wait, wait what did you think they were planning?” Mina laughs. “I’m not gonna keep rehashing the story if everyone’s gonna keep laughing at me,” you protest. “I believe the words she used were ‘fight club shit’,” Denki cackles beside you. “Well excuse me for being incredibly suspicious of anything Hawks and Bakugo are trying to plan together that they think I can’t know about. It’s not like one of them has anger issues and both of them are competitive or anything,” you shoot back. “Hey dumbass! Who the fuck are you saying has anger issues?” Bakugo yells from your living room. “Technically you’re the one who identified yourself with anger issues, I didn’t name names!” you shout back. “Keep talking shit, see what happens.” “You wanna fight Kacchan? Let’s rumble!”

Before you can make good on your threat a pair of familiar arms are wrapping around your waist from behind. “I sat through that whole lecture on how I better not be ‘on that fight club shit’ with Bakugo not even an hour ago and now here you are picking fights,” Hawks teases. “Does it really count as picking a fight when it’s completely justified?” you fire back as you turn to face your boyfriend. “Yes, yes it does,” he laughs. “Whatever, he totally would have it coming.” “And then you’d both feel guilty about it for weeks.” “Hey! You’re not supposed to be able to read us like that yet!” you protest. “(Y/n) you are an open book written for very dumb children. It’s not that hard to read you,” Shinso cuts in. “Wooow, isn’t this supposed to be my party? Why am I being bullied right now?” “You make it so easy sometimes,” Kiri admits as he walks into the kitchen to grab more beers for the pong table he and Bakugo had set up. “Et tu brute?” you gasp dramatically. “You know we say it with love,” he laughs. “Hawks, Denki, you guys coming?” he adds as he walks out the room. Both men call out a yes, leading Shinso to grab his drink quickly before Denki drags him out of the kitchen. “You and Denki pong partners?” you ask as your boyfriend presses a quick kiss to your cheek before releasing you to follow the others out to the pong table. “Yep, you gonna root for us?” Hawks asks cheekily as he backs out of the kitchen. “Hmm, I don’t know. Kiri and Kacchan are pretty good. I’ll have to think it over and get back to you later,” you tease. Hawks shakes his head fondly but still throws you a smile and a wink before finally joining the others, leaving just you and Mina in the kitchen.

“I feel so aggressively single right now wow,” Mina jokes. “Your person is out there somewhere,” you assure her. “See that? That’s the kinda cheesy shit only people in relationships say,” she points out. “Well it’s true!” you laugh. “You guys are really good for each other, huh?” “I think so.” “I’m really, really happy for you. You deserve it.” “Thanks Mina. We should do a girl’s night soon. It’s been a long time since we’ve hung out just the two of us.” “You sure Hawks will let me steal you away for an entire night?” “I’d like to see him try to stop us.” That makes Mina laugh. “Fair enough. Speaking of, you may need to go celeb shot for your mans. Looks like he and Denki are getting crushed,” she points out. You turn around to look out towards the game and laugh when you see she’s right. “Let me go save my boyfriend and best friend from humiliating defeat then,” you laugh before quickly finishing off what’s left of your drink and walking out to join them.

Alas even your help can’t save Denki and Hawks and eventually they wind up defeated. Almost immediately Hawks is demanding a rematch and you can’t help but laugh as he and Bakugo start bickering. It’s a dynamic you were still adjusting to in all honesty. When you had considered the ways Hawks would fit into your friend group way back when you’d invited him to stay with you, you hadn’t anticipated he and Bakugo becoming friends. It was always a pleasant surprise when you’d discover the two of them were running a patrol together or if you’d catch one texting the other. They still bickered and if you asked either of them they’d probably deny their budding bromance but it still made you happy all the same.

Bakugo wasn’t the only one who had gotten close with Hawks. He and Denki had become close as well. You think it’s because Denki has never been opposed to filling silences. On days when Keigo is annoyed or stressed, when the pressures of being number two are particularly intense, he knows he can meet up with Denki and not have to say a word. He can just sit and listen as Denki rambles on and on about whatever his latest obsession is. On days he does feel like contributing, he’s down to debate even the weirdest hypotheticals Denki can come up with. You already have the sneaking suspicion that even if things end between you and Hawks, the two of them will stay close.

You’re pulled out of your musings when Hawks walks up and grabs your hand. “What’s got you thinking so hard little dove?” he asks. “Nothing really, I’m just happy,” you reply with a soft smile. He practically melts at the sight. “C’mon with me to the balcony, I wanna give you something,” he says as he gently tugs you in that direction. You follow behind as your curiosity blooms, but no matter how much you ask him what it is he ignores you until the two of you are alone on the balcony in the night air.

You wait for him to say something, knowing by now that it’s always best to just give him time to gather his thoughts. His eyes stay trained on the sky even as he finally begins speaking. “I know we haven’t gotten to see each other as much because so much of my work has been out of the office lately,” he finally admits. “It’s ok, I know how it is,” you shrug. “Yea but it’s a little weird after seeing each other almost all day every day while I was taking time off,” he replies. “Yea we got a little spoiled,” you laugh. “I miss having tea with you in the evening.” “Ugh yes. I miss you making breakfast for me in the morning, early bird.” “I miss you being there for me if I have a nightmare. I miss you playing music while you get dressed or do chores around the apartment. I miss you being the first person I see in the morning and the last I see at night,” he confesses into the quiet night. “Kei? What’re you saying?” you ask, sensing the subtle shift in the atmosphere that tells you he’s more serious than you’d initially thought. He finally turns to face you as he pulls a key out of his pocket and holds it out to you. “Will you move in with me?” he asks in a breath, the words seeming so delicate somehow, as if afraid they’ll fracture the fragile moment he’s created on this balcony with you.

Your heart stops and then immediately begins to race. It may seem like such a simple thing from the outside, a small step forward in your rapidly progressing relationship. Something that may seem like an obvious next step considering this whole thing started in part as a result of him temporarily living with you. You know the truth though. This is his “think fast”. This is his way of showing you just how much he trusts you, just like him telling you his real name was. Not only is he saying he wants you in his space, his home, but he wants you to be a part of it. “You ok there?” Keigo asks and god he sounds so nervous. But you’re realizing you’ve been quiet too long now so finally you nod your head frantically and take the offered key. “Yes! Of course Kei, I would love to move in with you. My answer is yes,” you laugh. “Jesus Kid, you had me worried for a second there,” he huffs but he’s grinning too as he pulls you in for a sweet and passionate kiss. Even once your lips part he keeps you close, his forehead pressed to yours as he lets himself truly relish in the fact he gets to have you.

“So when can I move in?” you all but whisper into the space between you. “How about tomorrow?” he suggests. “My lease on this place doesn’t run out for another month Kei,” you respond, pulling back a little so he can see you roll your eyes. “And? Bakugo and I could use it for our Fight club shit,” he grins. “Oh my god, you’re the worst,” you groan. You try pushing him away but Keigo doesn’t let you get too far, laughing as he pulls you back close to him again. “Nah, you love me,” he teases you. You shake your head but sober back up a little, looking him in his beautiful golden eyes as you say, “I do. I love you Keigo Takami.” “I love you too (y/n) (y/l/n).”

You don’t know exactly what’s in store for the two of you from here on out, but whatever it is you’re glad he’ll be by your side through it.

Author’s Note: I know beer pong is a very American thing but I feel like Kirishima saw it in an American movie and from then on insisted it be included at parties. Also bonus points if you caught the Umbrella Academy reference. On a more serious note this is it. The final chapter of Official Accounts. I’m so incredibly touched by all the love this fic has received and I’m so grateful to all of you who’ve supported me by reading, liking, and reblogging it. This became so much larger than I thought it would but I’m so happy to have gone on this little journey with you all. I love each and every one of you and hope you’ll stick around to see what I write next ❤️

Thanks for reading everyone! ❤️❤️❤️

Taglist [closed]: @cathy8taffy @katzurras @grumpyfroggies @captaincyberqueen @itskindofafairything @420-uwu @someweirdshitman @oliviasslut @the-adzukibean @jupiter-is-a-sero-kinnie @ladyzayismultifandom @pixelwisp

#hopelessoa #hawks #wing hero hawks #hawks x reader #hawks x y/n #hawks smau

[swan-of-sunrise]

The Winter Soldier (Chapter Three)

Summary: Steve drops by the VA and listens in on one of Sam’s meetings and later that evening, (Y/N) reflects on her unusual day with the super-soldier.

Pairing: Steve Rogers X Reader

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings/Disclaimers: Brief discussion of PTSD

A/N: Hope you all enjoy!

Chapter Three (Previous Chapter)

After placing sugar packets and stirring sticks next to the coffee maker, (Y/N) took a seat beside the refreshment table and watched as Sam took his place at the front of the crowded room and began the meeting. One by one, each person would share their struggles with PTSD and how it had affected their lives as civilians; with each person’s story, (Y/N)’s heart clenched in sympathy. These vets have put their lives on the line to protect us, they don’t deserve to suffer, she thought with an inward sigh. She couldn’t count the number of times she’d woken Sam up from a nightmare or had seen him suddenly grow silent and have to distract him from his memories of war. But it was wonderful that people like Sam, people who face the same exact struggles, run programs to help each other out.

Seeing movement out of the corner of her eye, (Y/N) turned to see Steve Rogers leaning against the doorframe of the room, his arms crossed over his chest as he listened to the meeting. Smiling and tugging her sweater tighter around her, (Y/N) turned her attention back to the woman speaking. “The thing is I think it’s getting worse. A cop pulled me over last week, he thought I was drunk. I swerved to miss a plastic bag. I thought it was an IED.”

Sam nodded. “Some stuff you leave there, other stuff you bring back. It’s our job to figure out how to carry it. Is it gonna be in a big suitcase or in a little man-purse? It’s up to you.” Everyone clapped and began standing, so (Y/N) jumped to her feet to man the table. She greeted each person with a smile as they grabbed cookies and filled their cups with coffee, delighted to see so many new faces among the usual crowd. After about twenty minutes of mingling and making small talk, the crowd started to leave so she decided to begin packing up the refreshments as Sam bid them goodbye out in the hallway.

“Don’t take those away those cookies just yet, darlin’, I wanna bring one home to my gran’daughter.”

(Y/N) looked up to see Gary, an older man with an incredibly bushy grey beard and a Vietnam War veteran’s baseball cap, and she smiled brightly before offering him the half-full container. “Take the whole thing if you’d like, Gary, and be sure to say hello to Katie for me!”

That made Gary grin toothily as he took the container. “You know, darlin’, you’re sweeter than this whole damn box of cookies. I’ll be seein’ you next week!” (Y/N) gave him a small wave and resumed cleaning as he limped away.

“You’re pretty popular around here.”

She turned away from the coffee pot and smiled when she saw Steve standing before her, his blue eyes glimmering and his hands shoved in his pockets. “If I am, it’s only ‘cause I give away free cookies; the vets that visit all have a massive sweet-tooth, you know.”

“Are you a vet, too?”

“Nah, I just work here.” She tossed several used paper coffee cups into the trash and chuckled. “A year ago, when I finally graduated with my master’s degree, I started writing my novel and since I was writing about soldiers and government agents I needed to interview some about their personal experiences. So, I decided to come down to the VA. I met with Sam, who had just started working here, and asked if I could interview some people for my writing. He agreed, and I spent the whole day just talking to the vets. All sorts of vets, too; men, women, old, young, you name it. And at the end of the day, after hearing about their struggles with PTSD and how hard their lives became once they returned to civilian life, I went back to Sam and asked if he needed any part-time employees. He said yes, and we’ve been best friends ever since.” Steve smiled, and the impressed look he was giving her caused her to blush so she hurriedly changed the subject. “So, did everything work out earlier? It’s just that it seemed a little serious, so I hope that everything’s okay.”

Steve’s smile fell a little but he nodded. “Yeah, everything’s fine…I was just visiting a friend who hasn’t been doing too well lately.”

(Y/N) impulsively placed a comforting hand on his arm. “I’m sorry, that sounds difficult. I hope they get better soon.” The ghost of a sympathetic smile pulled at the corner of her mouth and Steve’s eyes softened after a moment; realizing that her hand was still resting on his arm, she hastily withdrew it and began folding the tablecloth to keep her hands busy. “Um, Sam and I were planning on going out to dinner after we finish packing up, you’re welcome to join us if you want.”

She glanced up at him and saw a glint of something in his eyes, but it disappeared before she could get a closer look. “Thanks for the offer but I’ll have to pass; I’ve already got some plans later…”

“That’s okay, maybe next time!” (Y/N) smiled, but inside she couldn’t help but feel a pang of disappointment.

Just then, Sam walked into the room with a stack of pamphlets in his hands. “Pretty good turnout today, huh? Five new faces and Captain America!”

Steve chuckled. “Well, I’m glad that I stopped by.” He glanced at the clock on the wall before continuing, “I should probably get going, but it was good to see you two again.”

(Y/N) shook his hand. “I’m not gonna lie, it was a little weird seeing you in your own exhibit earlier but it was great hanging out with you!”

“You too, and good luck with For Queen and Country, I’ll keep my eye out for it in the bookshops.” His bright smile caused her heartbeat to once-again quicken as their hands dropped.

“It was good seeing you too, Cap, you made me look really awesome in front of Maria, so thanks for that.” Sam grinned and shook his outstretched hand.

“Glad I could help, Sam; see you two around!” Steve gave them a small wave before turning and walking out of the room.

Tearing her eyes away from the doorway, (Y/N) resumed her cleaning and glanced at Sam. “What do you feel like tonight, Thai or burgers?”

Sam grinned and began unplugging the coffee maker. “Burgers. So, did you have a nice day chilling with your new boyfriend, Booksmart?”

“Sam…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that evening, (Y/N) sat down at her desk and put her music on shuffle before flicking through her notebook to the pages of notes she’d taken that day at the Smithsonian. She bit back a smile when she recognized the difference between the carefully printed notes she’d taken by herself versus the illegible scribbles taken from the elderly security guard’s long-winded explanations. He was kind of a fast talker, wasn’t he, she thought to herself; as a way of honoring the enthusiastic old man, she ultimately decided to name one of her minor characters after him.

“Stan.” She sounded out the name and gave a satisfied nod. “Yeah, that’s got a nice ring to it…”

(Y/N), now finally having all the information she needed to best describe Soviet Cold War missiles, wrote for nearly three hours straight, only taking breaks to skip songs or to glance down at her notes. She would’ve probably continued writing well into the next morning except that her eyesight was beginning to blur around the edges, an unfortunate symptom of exhaustion.

Well, you have had a pretty busy day today, (Y/N) silently reasoned as she saved her evening’s progress and booted down her laptop. Since Sam was already fast asleep in the room across the hall, she went about her bedtime routine as quietly as she could, washing her face and brushing her teeth before tiptoeing back into her room. She slipped on her mismatched pajama set and was about to crawl into bed when the record player on her bedside table caught her eye. Making her way over to what Sam affectionately called ‘The DJ Bookcase,’ she scanned the shelf devoted solely to her record collection until the right one stood out to her, and then she carefully placed the record on the turntable and lowered the needle. After a moment, the soft tones of Glenn Miller’s ‘Stardust’ filled her room and with a smile, she finally got into bed and turned to watch the record spinning on the turntable.

Thoughts of the super-soldier who’d inspired her choice in bedtime music began to fill her mind, making her smile softly to herself. (Y/N) had enjoyed seeing Steve again, even if it had been in a highly unconventional place like the Smithsonian, and she quietly marveled at how effortless it had been to talk to the larger-than-life man. He really was different from how the history books portrayed him: not only was he kind and polite, but he was also intelligent, sarcastic and extremely understanding. Also a little lost, I expect, (Y/N) thought, remembering his guarded expressions and withdrawn replies whenever she’d ask him a personal question; it couldn’t be easy adjusting to a brand-new reality, especially without a fixed support system to rely on.

“Hopefully he ends up getting the help he needs.” (Y/N) murmured to herself, her sleepy eyes continuing to watch the rotating record as more thoughts of Steve Rogers filled her mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I hope you all liked my little Stan Lee cameo in this chapter and the last :) I’ve created a Spotify playlist inspired by this series, and I’ll be updating it every time I upload a new chapter. Enjoy!

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4BenknAqQQnOWY8NmSa23V

Tagging: @mrs-obrien​ @lahoete​ @awkward117​ @cminr​ @momc95​ @awkwardnesshabitat​ @marinettepotterandplagg​ @khuang3​ @supersouthy​ @benakenalove​ @brooke0297​ @hufflepeople​ @becausewelie​​ @outoftheregular @supreme-tantrum​

Chapter Four

“The Winter Soldier” Masterlist

#steve rogers x reader #captain america x reader #steve rogers #sam wilson #captain america fic #captain america the winter soldier

[buckyownsmylife]

between us - final chapter

The one where Aaron hurts you, but he knows just how to heal you.

When Hotch comes home one day and takes out his frustrations on you, you’re sent spiraling into a depressive state that you were all too familiarized with. But as your boss and closest friend, he’s the only one who knows how to take care of you during a relapse. His efforts to fix the situation end up awakening a different side of him, a side that might just be precisely what you’ve been missing in a time like that.

for general warnings and author’s notes, please go to the fic’s masterlist. PLEASE CHECK THEM.

A/N for this chapter: we’ve reached the end, you guys! I don’t know if I’m ever writing for Hotch again, since I don’t really think anyone even read this series, but sharing it with the world was very important to me, since the whole story was so personal. If you do end up reading it and reaching the final chapter, I hope it resonated with you somehow. Thanks for reading!

Y/N’s P.O.V.

Three months passed in the blink of an eye and the well I had hid in for so long was nowhere to be found. Between Penelope’s ever-present banter, Rossi’s pasta nights and overall, the support of my friends - that made the BAU seem more like a family than a job - I was feeling better than I had felt in years.

But of course, most of my progress was to be thanked to a certain SSA Aaron Hotchner - and Jack had a big part in it, too. Both had welcomed me not only into their home, but into their lives, to a point where it was hard to remember what Friday nights used to look like away from them, without pizzas and Disney movies. I never went back to living in my apartment. Aaron never mentioned it, and apart from the two visits we had made right after I moved in with them, to gather more of my clothing I’d left behind, I hadn’t even been there in a while.

In fact, I had been gathering the courage to talk about it with my boyfriend for the last week or so. I knew we’d need to have this conversation eventually, and when the opportunity arose via us wrapping up a case that was supposed to last all weekend, leaving Jack with his aunt while we could have the house to ourselves, I knew it was now or never.

“I still can’t believe we were able to solve this before Sunday,” Aaron said, that cute tiny smile on his lips as he opened the door to his house.

“Yeah,” I agreed. “It still feels weird not going to pick Jack up, though.” My boyfriend nodded, turning around to face him after he’d dropped his briefcase over the sofa.

“I know. But it’s already too late to wake him and Jessica up just to bring him home. We’ll get him in the morning.” I nodded, mostly because this was perfect for my intentions for the evening, but still, I missed the little guy.

“Aaron,” I started when he opened the fridge in search of something we could eat. He hummed to let me know he was listening, but despite the fact that I wanted to start talking while he was otherwise occupied with other stuff, just so I wouldn’t have to deal with the added weight of his impenetrable eyes on my figure, the words didn’t leave my mouth fast enough. Obviously, he took notice, which only made him immediately turn around to look at me, where I was sitting by the breakfast table, trying not to look incredibly guilty as I met his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” It was hard not to giggle at how quickly he went into dad mode at the prospect of any trouble. It helped to clear the air and release some of the tension I had accumulated in my body.

“Nothing’s wrong, silly. I just have something I need to talk to you about.” He nodded, opting to reheat some leftover pasta I had made a few nights before we left over trying to create something from scratch this late in the evening.

“Tell me.” He was stirring the pot where the pasta had been deposited as he waited for me to begin, but I knew his concentration was completely focused on me. I had to recognize how incredible he was, not only as a boyfriend, but also as a profiler. It was clear that he was aware of how much easier it would be for me to open up if he had the premise of another task in his mind, keeping his eyes away from me.

“My landlord called me this week.” And there it went. All pretense was suddenly dropped as his head immediately whipped up to stare at me with a frown on his handsome face, clenching the pot with much more strength than it was really necessary.. “My lease is about to end, I have to sign the renewal soon. I figured it’s the perfect time to talk about me returning to my apartment.” 

At first, he didn’t say anything, simply stared back at me with unreadable eyes. And then we smelled something funny. “Oh my God, Aaron, stir the pot and lower the heat!” I directed after finally realising what was going on. I jumped out of the chair to help him, but by the time I had made my way around the counter and inside the kitchen, the situation had been diffused and the pasta was done. “Is it still edible?” I joked, peering up from his side to check if there was still some salvaged part of the food, but it looked mostly alright. Maybe only the bottom part was burnt. 

He didn’t answer me, not even offering a chuckle to lighten up the mood. But he did plate up the now warm pasta, picking up both dishes and walking to the table without a single glance at me. It was clear he was deep in his thoughts, so I figured it’d be best to allow him time to get to any conclusions he might reach by himself, opting to simply follow him and take my place where he laid my plate, silently starting to eat while keeping an eye on him. 

It was only after my second bite of food that he said something, and it wasn’t what I was expecting to hear.

“Aren’t you happy here?” The question caught me so by surprise that I dropped my fork against the plate, immediately flinching from the loud sound that echoed around the empty living room in the middle of the night.

“Of course I am, Aaron.” I didn’t understand how he could for even a minute doubt that. Didn’t he see how much better I was? How he had managed to help me get back to normal? 

“Then why do you want to leave?” If the other question took me by surprise, this one completely astounded me. I couldn’t even offer an immediate answer, because I was in no way prepared for it. 

Finally, I settled for, “I never said I wanted to leave, honey. It’s just that I figured it’s a natural evolution for our situation. I’m better now, and I have my own apartment. Why should I stay here?” It was like he had barely heard me, by the way he immediately countered my question with one of his own.

Aaron’s P.O.V.

“Well, do you want to?” She looked lost, her mouth opening a few times before she settled on what she wanted to say. 

“Want to what?” She looked so confused, fidgeting with the edge of her skirt while she bit her lip. I had to lean down and deposit a quick kiss on her mouth, not only because I always wanted to kiss her, but also because I knew it helped her relax. When I saw her shoulders relax, I covered her hands with mine, pulling them up on the table so I could keep holding them more comfortably.

“Do you want to stay here?” I finally clarified, watching attentively for her reactions. At first, she looked surprised, her mouth falling open and her eyes widening at my question, but in seconds she gathered her thoughts and bit her lips, avoiding my eyes before nodding, a sheepish smile on her lips.

A huge grin immediately appeared on my face, as I watched her come to senses with what I had just asked. When she finally found enough courage in herself to look up at me again, I threw myself at her, capturing her lips in a deep, passionate kiss.

I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been this happy. Watching Y/N come back to her natural state was already relieving, as it was to have her around all the time, especially when it came to help me take care of Jack, but to know that she wanted to be here indefinitely, that she had agreed to live with us? I was over the moon.

When we separated to catch our breaths, she was flushed again, and it was clear she was trying very hard to keep her eyes on mine.

“What?” I asked, certain I had a goofy smile on my face. She bit her lip once more, making me groan. “Stop that, pretty girl,” I teased, pulling her bottom lip from its confine. She rolled her eyes, but smiled nonetheless. “Now tell, me, what is it that you want?”

The atmosphere of the room had changed, it was clear now. Whereas it had felt cold only a few minutes ago, when I thought she wanted to leave me, it felt absurdly hot out of nowhere, and I had half a mind to rip her dress off of her. So when she answered me with a soft, “You,” I knew exactly what she meant.

I immediately stood up from my chair, reaching out to help her leave hers too, but instead of walking hand in hand towards our room - it was our room, now, I reminded myself with a smile - I couldn’t deal with the prospect of spending another second separated from her skin, so I took her in my embrace, kissing her in celebration of the next steps in our relationship we were taking together, tonight.

We made out like two teenagers right there, in the middle of my living room, and when the fire that was growing inside of me rose up to my head, I found myself pulling on her dress and taking it off her body, not caring to notice where it ended up. The second her skin became available to me, I lost the last of the control I was still trying to keep, and pulled her by her ass to wrap her legs around me so I could at least take her to our bedroom before I had my way with her, like I’d been dreaming to do for so long.

 Y/N’s P.O.V.

As soon as Aaron carefully laid me down on his bed I was already sitting up, reaching for his shirt. I’d been dreaming about this for so long, long before he ever showed any interest in me. Of course, back then it made me embarrassed - I never thought I’d be the girl with a crush on her boss - but after we came clear about our feelings, the only reason why I didn’t immediately jump his bones was because he wanted to wait for me to get better. And which person wouldn’t melt with that?

Only now that waiting time was over, I couldn’t get him undressed fast enough. It was nice to see him with a teasing smile, looking down at me with that mischievous glint in his eye as he realized just how much I wanted him, when in our day-to-day life outside this house he was always so serious.

“Someone’s eager,” he jested, and I stuck my tongue out at him.

“I expected you to be too, or should I be worried about you not being attracted to me?” The question was made in all good humour, but Aaron clearly did not appreciate it. His smile immediately dropped, and before I could say anything to make it better, he was crawling up on the bed, making himself at home between my legs.

“Don’t even joke about this,” he whispered, dark eyes studying mine just like he did whenever we were alone before he captured my lips in a deep kiss that was equal parts possession and affection. “Do you feel this?” He pressed himself against me, and I could feel exactly what he was referring to. “I’m always so hard around you, sweetheart. You have no idea how difficult it has been to live with you and not be able to touch you like I’ve been dreaming of.”

His words made me whine, clutching his back so he’d lay more of his weight on me. For someone who was as quiet as Aaron usually was, I wasn’t expecting him to be so comfortable in sharing his desires with me, but it only made me appreciate it even more.

“Well, I’m here now, aren’t I? And you’re not doing a good job of taking advantage of this opportunity at all.” He smirked teasingly at me, getting out of the bed to take off his clothes until all he had on was his boxers. Then he was back between my legs, pressing his hardness against me with even more fervor as he devoured my lips once more.

Aaron’s P.O.V.

“I’ll show you how well I can take advantage of you, little girl.” She whined once more, making me chuckle as I slowly left her lips to continue pressing kisses on her jaw, until I was sucking on her pulse point, marking her as mine. I’d never been one for leaving bruises before, too worried about the consequences came the morning time, but in that moment I’d damn all the consequences just to have her, own her, make sure she’d never forget how it felt to be together like this for the first time. 

I didn’t want to have to learn how to be without her again. She was a part of me now, a part of my life and I liked it better with her around. I liked me better with her around. So I made sure to make the most out of this opportunity, when I finally had her exactly where I wanted, to imprint her taste in my mouth, memorize the smell of her skin. 

As I kissed every inch of skin my lips could meet, she danced underneath me, desperately trying to create some friction between us, in that wet heat I could hardly wait to encounter again. So I granted it to her, rubbing my clothed cock on her pussy as hard as I could while ripping off her bra, exposing her beautiful breasts to me for the first time. 

My mouth watered at the sight, and I immediately enclosed one pebbled nipple with my lips, circling it with my tongue before sucking on it lightly. At her pleased gasp, accompanied by one of her hands, which she tangled in my hair, I doubled my efforts, sucking a bit harder, until I heard her moaning sweetly above me.

The sound went straight to my crotch, and I lifted myself off one breast to stare up at her, take in the beauty that was seeing her like this, slightly out of breath, her lips bruised from my nibbling. 

“You’re perfect,” I let her know, and when she smiled I leaned down to give the other breast the same treatment. God, she tasted sweet. If her skin was this delicious, I could only imagine how delightful it would be to bury my face in between her thighs, drinking in her essence.

But I wouldn’t have to imagine it much longer. Slowly, determined to kiss each inch of skin along the way, I created a pathway of kisses and bruises down her stomach, appreciating the shiver that went up her spine at the feeling of my nose caressing her lower belly. 

“You’re so beautiful, love,” I insisted in reminding her, knowing how hard it was for her to believe me - or anyone else - when it came to her qualities, but she needed to learn about her own beauty. I’d teach her to recognize it.

“Aaron, please…” Now, I’d heard a lot of sexy things in my life - most of them from her own lips, ever since we’d started dating - but nothing had ever come near the sound of her begging me to give her some release. It made me lose my infamous control, it turned me into that same man I’d become when I had her over my lap, writhing with the need to feel my touch on her skin.

“That’s not how you call me, is it, sweetheart?” I asked, looking up at her from my spot between her thighs, while I sensuously kissed the soft skin there. Her eyes sparkled with understanding, and while she tried to control the instinctual need to raise her hips to try and get me to touch her where she really needed, she finally said the words I’d been dying to hear again.

“Please, daddy, I need you.” That was all I needed to plunge into her waiting heat. Just like I’d anticipated, she tasted heavenly. Syrupy sweet and incredibly addicting. I wanted to bathe in her essence, drown in it. 

It didn’t help my animalistic instincts that every swipe of my tongue over her little clit elicited the most musical moans from her perfect lips, which only served to further incentive me to bury my tongue as far as it could go inside of her weeping hole. My nose was the one massaging her nub while I struggled to get every drop of wetness I could collect, further aided by my head’s movements as I enthusiastically moved around, eating her out hungrily.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

Aaron was so starved for my cunt that all of a sudden, his hands came up to grab the cheeks of my ass, helping him better angle my body to how he desired to be able to fully appreciate his meal. It was dirty and sinful, but it was exactly what I needed after so many nights dreaming about his touch on me.

I was so wet I could feel it dripping from my lower lips, smearing my thighs and tarnishing the duvet underneath me. It didn’t seem like he minded, though. It was more for him to lap, and I had to grab the covers to try to keep my mind from going insane.

“Daddy…” I moaned, desperate for release as my whole body trembled underneath him. Aaron didn’t even look up, still too busy with my pussy, and I had to say it out loud so I could get his permission. “Wanna cum.”

That made him look up at me, but only his gaze went up to meet mine, his face remaining buried against me, never stopping his incessant licking. “Come on, love. Come for me.” As always, I followed his order without any amount of hesitation.

It wasn’t like I could control it, anyway. My body didn’t belong to me anymore, it was his, his to take, to care for, to love and to deal with, when necessary. And I trusted him to take good care of it.

So far, so good. He finally came up for air as my muscles relaxed, making me fall slack against the sweat-drenched mattress. Kissing his way up my body, he kissed me on the lips with fervor when our lips finally met, his long fingers immediately finding their way inside of my still sensitive cunt. 

“Daddy…” I whined, feeling too raw yet to be able to deal with any part of him inside of me, but he was having none of it. Although he immediately retreated the finger, it was only to slap my pussy so I’d stop trying to close my legs around him, conceding all the access to my body once again. 

As soon as my legs fell open, he was pushing it inside of me again, only this time there were two of them. Despite how wet I was, the thickness was already far more than I was used to, but the stretch felt wonderful, making me feel full like I couldn’t remember ever feeling before.

Over me, I heard Aaron curse, prompting me to open my eyes again (when had I even closed them?) only to find him focused where his fingers were carefully exploring. “You’re so tight, sweetheart. How long has it been since you’ve had sex?”

The question made me giggle, knowing he didn’t really need an answer. But the truth was, it’d been over a year. I couldn’t even remember the last time I had sex with my ex, and since it had been a while before we broke up, I knew Aaron would really need the time to prep me up to take him.

Just the memory of how his cock felt underneath me, straining in his trousers when he had me over his lap, had a new wave of wetness flooring from within me. My boyfriend sucked in a breath, clearly hypnotized by the way the added lubricant helped him ease his digits in.

Aaron’s P.O.V.

I was transfixed, completely in love with the way her pussy gripped my fingers every time I pulled them back only to push in again. Although it didn’t help my growing need to repeat the action with my cock, it did fill me with some kind of satisfaction by itself. I was the one doing this to her, I was the one giving her this pleasure. She was creaming around my fingers.

So I kept on my shallow thrusts until I could see it wasn’t enough for her. I saw it in the way she pushed back to meet my digits. I saw it in the whines she was emitting, which only served to make me even harder for her. Finally, she was the one who broke me out of my reverie, downright begging me, “Please, Aaron, please. I wanna cum around your cock. Please.”

Who could possibly deny such a request? I recognized that I was known for my control, but I still had needs, like any person. And right then, all I needed was her. So I pulled away, just enough so that I was able to pull my boxers down and wrap my hand around my member, trying to relieve some of the tension.

The vision before me more than helped. It was better than porn, certainly better than anything my mind could create, seeing Y/N like that, completely naked, heaving and wet because of me.

I knew birth control wasn’t a concern, so I just leaned over her again, rubbing the head of my cock on her clit and appreciating the desperate moan that resonated around the room before I dragged it down and pushed in.

Immediately, the feeling of tightness and warmth made me gasp, and I almost lost my balance and fell on top of her body, but her own hands flew up to hold me by my hips, freezing me in place. She didn’t say anything, but from her whimper, it was clear that she was in pain, so as much as I was trembling with the urge to push all the way inside of her, I breathed deeply and rested my forehead on hers.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. You’re okay. I know it hurts, I’m going slowly, okay? Give you time to get used to it.” She nodded, eyes squeezed shut while I delivered quick kisses all over her face. I tried to pull back slightly and push in only a little bit further, and she seemed to adjust to that, her hands coming around my torso to hug me to her.

“Slowly,” she repeated in a whisper, still not opening her eyes.

“Slowly,” I agreed, kissing her temple and keeping up with the ritual of sliding back and pushing in again, until I was able to bottom out. “Fuck, daddy!” The whiny tone of her voice only added to my arousal, and I exchanged my kisses for little bites all over her neck.

“Does it feel good, baby? Can I move?” I asked, fascinated by the taste of her sweat on my tongue. I wanted to lap it up, just like I had done to her wetness minutes before, but the ache in my groin reminded me there were more pressing urges to be fulfilled now.

“Yes, Yes! Please, move!” That was all I was waiting for to start thrusting in and out of her. It was an incredible feeling. It’d been so long since I’d felt this connected to someone. It felt amazing. She felt amazing. Such a strong feeling of belonging, of true love coursed through my body that all I wanted to do was to kiss the breathing air out of her lungs.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I held on Aaron’s body like it was my lifeboat, and in many ways, I supposed he was precisely that. He’d been patient when I needed, firm when I desired it and now he was filling me in ways I’d never felt before.

It was such an overwhelming feeling, to be this connected to someone. The thought prompted me to finally open my eyes, only to find his already fixed on mine. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, and I felt my heart grow twice its size before I pulled him to meet my lips again.

“So are you,” I mumbled against his mouth, and he chuckled breathlessly, still fucking me deeply against the mattress, prompting me to run my nails over his back, making him curse. Believe me, there was nothing hotter than hearing Aaron Hotcher curse while being balls deep into you.

“I don’t ever want to leave you,” he confessed, and I knew he was referring to the act we were currently partaking in, but I couldn’t help but to run my fingers through his hair, softly responding, “Then don’t.”

The mood suddenly changed, and so did his thrusts. They became slower, but more meaningful, somehow. His forehead fell to mine, his lips but an inch from mine when he answered, “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I won’t.”

I knew we’d still have so much to overcome, so much to fight for, but the fact was that we’d be doing it together. I knew that now, as I felt him move inside of me, bringing me to new heights of pleasure, his hands finding mine and holding them by my side, in bed. This, right here, wouldn’t solve everything, but it brought me a sense of belonging I’d never been able to experience before.

And at the end of the day, I knew that all I wanted was to belong to Aaron for the rest of my life.

#aaron hotchner smut #smut #aaron hotchner #my series #criminal minds fics #criminal minds fan fiction #criminal minds smut #aaron hotchner reader #aaron hotchner reader insert #aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #hotch smut

[ntamain]

Is my (24F) neighbour (27F) into me or is she just being friendly? How do I know if she's gay?

another gay gem from the r/relationship reddit

Update:

Image ID under the cut, please let me know if I did it wrong!

[Image ID: four screenshots of a post from the relationship subreddit by tumblr user nta-main. The title reads “Is my (24F) neighbour (27F) into me or is she just being friendly? How do I know if she’s gay?”

The text reads “Update post is now locked, I cant believe so many people were interested in us!! Thank you again for your support, comments and messages.

Hi all, I can't believe I'm asking for advice from a bunch of strangers on the internet but I don't really have anyone I can talk to about this. Sorry for the incoming essay but I guess I need to give history. I bought my first house in September last year, It was an odd time but everything just fell into place. It's quite a small village and everyone is really friendly so I got to know my neighbours soon after moving in - yes, socially distanced. Then I met my over-the-road neighbour, let's call her Elle. I can't describe it but it's the first time I've ever met someone and been lost for words and my heart was racing and just thought "omg", y'know?? So after I blushed my way through a welcome to the village type convo we only saw each other for a wave and hello for a few days.

To help kinda settle in I had my dog (Bea) with me for the first few weeks. During this time there was a massive increase in dog thefts in a nearby town, not just from gardens but literally wrestled away from people. If I'd have been working (furloughed off and on since March) then I would've taken Bea back to mum's but since I was home with her all day she stayed. So the local police advised to not walk dogs alone but we go out twice a day, a 10k run in the morning and a few miles walk in the evening. So obvs this scares me, but at the same time she is honestly a pain in the arse and gets upset if she doesn't go for a run and needs to be tired out so I'm kind of stuck at this point. Then along comes Elle. She knocked on the door and offered to come with us as she'd seen Bea and me in the evenings and everything kind of spiralled from there. I told her about my morning runs but she didn't really bite so I thought nothing of it. Then a few days later I bumped into her on a run, so she started joining us on those too.

A few months later and we are spending more and more time together everyday. It has now progressed to a run early morning, afternoon coffee, dinner most evenings and then the evening walk. It just seemed to happen without me really noticing. I didn't read into things that much as I don't want to get my hopes up and ruin anything until another neighbour commented about how much time we spend together and how "it's nice to see you young gals getting on" and winked. She actually winked at me. I asked her what she meant but she just laughed and said "you know what I mean". So now I'm looking back on things and wondering if she could like me too?

Here's some reasons why she might like me:

I went running along the same route at the same time for nearly 2 weeks before I happened to run into her a few days after I told her this?

I make her a coffee every afternoon (Elle is WFH) and take it over in her fave mug. She says I make good coffee but I'm pretty sure I saw a fancy coffee machine the first time I went round (it's not there now?).

Elle carried on running and walking with me even after Bea went home. I told her she was going back to mum's and she said well "I'll have to make another excuse to join you" and then we just carried on everyday.

She has tried really hard to bond with Bea. Bea is a very anxious dog and is scared of everyone except me and mum. Elle bought special treats to give her everyday and has been so amazing with her and never tried to force anything. When I asked her she said "it's important to me that she likes me and is comfortable". Bea actually fell asleep between us on the sofa yesterday and It just makes my heart skip a beat guys.

She invited me to the zoom quiz she does with her friends every fortnight or so and they were all like "oh so this is who we've heard so much about "

We realised we had become each other's support bubble. Elle asked if I was meeting anyone else and I said no, she said she was glad she had me all to herself (!!)

We gave each other quite personal xmas presents. Like, it actually made me tear up it meant so much to me. And she bought stuff for Bea!!

Reasons why she might not like me:

All the reasons above, but that she's just doing them because she's a fucking great person and we're friends?

It might sound dumb but idk I need your help guys. She is the just the most incredible person I have ever met and I really really like her but if she isn't gay or doesn't feel the same I don't want to lose her friendship as she has become such a huge part of my life. I genuinely have no experience with these kind of things as I went to quite a strict all girls school, so it's not as if there were any relationships around me as a teen and then I went to a very small uni (8 of us on my course). I guess another reason is that I've struggled with anxiety and depression for the past 10 years, as well as my weight and working on my self confidence, but I can say that right now I am the happiest and healthiest (both mentally and physically) I have ever been. I've only just really become comfortable with the fact that I'm gay and I have never really told anyone in real life, but I don't think people would be too surprised lol. I don't have any close friends as no one stuck around when I was really struggling with my MH a few years ago so I can't discuss this with anyone irl.

So I need your advice : how do I find out if she is gay? And no, I don't have the confidence to just ask!! What if she says no and I ruin everything? She has never mentioned anything about past relationships and I'm pretty tactless so not sure how I could naturally slip it into the convo. Like, "hey tell me have you ever had a girlfriend? Do you want one now?" Lol. And how can I make a move without really making a move so I don't ruin things??

tl;dr : Don't know whether my neighbour is gay and into me or is just really friendly. How can I make a move without ruining our friendship?

Edit: Ok guys, thank you so so much for all your support and encouragement. You've all given me a lot to think about. I think I'm going to casually slip some gay stuff into conversation and see how she reacts. Then bring up the neighbours comment like some of you suggested, seeing as tho the neighbour was heavily implying that we're gay. I'll do it tonight otherwise I'll talk myself out of it again. I will post an update to let you know what happens (eek). If you never hear from me again assume it went badly and I am consoling myself with cake and watching brokeback mountain in floods of tears.

Hi reddit, yes it's me the useless lesbian. First off I want to thank you all for your support, encouragement and advice - and the undeserved awards! I never expected this many of you to take the time to comment and that so many of you were rooting for us.

So I had the plan to drop these gay hints into convo like you guys suggested but honestly it all went out the window. Elle was kinda stressed friday after a shitty work zoom and just needed to vent so it wasnt the right time to start anything. Though I guess I must have been a bit off thanks to spending all day overthinking things on here, as Elle turned up Saturday morning rambling about stressing me out and apologised (!!) for ruining dinner. Obvs I said "what are you talking about you can talk to me about anything", and she said "anything?" and I said "anything" back. And guys the tension was unreal, staring at each other and hoping our lesbian mind reading powers would kick in.

Then there was some loud noise like a car backfiring or something and the moment went. So I went to make coffee and then Elle asked me why I was a bit quiet the night before and I said something about overthinking stuff and she said "what stuff" and idk you guys I wasnt prepared to be put on the spot my casual gay pop culture references were useless in this moment. My mind just went completely blank and I forgot every single thing you guys suggested and my heart was pounding and I just blurted out you know I like you, right?.

...And then she kissed me. Kissed me. We straight up just snogged in the kitchen and it was fucking great. So...you were right. You were all fucking right. She's gay, she likes me and has been trying to drop hints for nearly 5 months. sigh

We were both just too scared to make a move or ruin anything. Turns out she's been burned by straight girls in the past, so she's pretty wary and was hoping I'd straight up say I'm a lesbian so she'd know for sure - maybe the I'm a lesbian wall hanging would've been a good idea after all? Her friends have been helping her drop hints, she showed me the group chat and guys their suggestions ranged from flirting more to just turning up in a trenchcoat and nothing else lol. Also, the winking neighbour has been making comments to her as well, so shout out to her for trying to make this happen too.

So no cake and cry watching brokeback mountain, just 5 months of dating to catch up on. As for worrying about how our current schedule could be more date like during lockdown, you were right it's kinda irrelevant when you've essentially been dating the whole time. Though we never made it to our morning run yesterday, in fact we didn't leave the house at all, ha.

Thank you guys for giving me hope, even if all your suggestions completely disappeared in the moment. Maybe I'll show her the post later and ask if any of the suggestions would have worked.

tl;dr: she's gay, into me and I'm an idiot”

End image ID]

#this is for sure already on tumble #but it's so cute #I had to #mine #r/relationships #tw// ed #edit: I'll add a transcript in a minute just gotta figure out how to make it accessible

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression Ep 52 - Kami's avatar plan & Momotaro Dentetsu!? The aim behind the huge spread of conspiracy theories, and related Youtube videos.

K: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru with this week's episode of The Freedom of Expression.  Joe san, Tasai san, welcome.

K: (To Tasai) You're wearing that.

T: I really like this, I wear it to all sorts of places.

K: Really?

T: Yes. Girls tell me I'm cool when I wear it, it made me feel kinda cocky. Haha

J: You should be!

K: When I saw this (on Tasai) I didn't realise what it was, I didn't remember it. Haha, like was this really ours?

T: When I first heard about this, I heard that Kaoru had made it with great detail, haha.

K: Well, speaking of Dir en grey, we've decided to release a new single.

*applause*

K: At this point it will be in Spring.

J: I see. I can't wait for it.

K: The song will be called 'Oboro'

J: How are you progressing with it?

K: Uh, at the moment we are just starting the mixing..we are at the start of February now.

J: So, like, you can see the finish line already?

K: Hm, well....yeh. We've all finished our parts.

J: Ah, I see. The members' performances are all over.

T: Uh, at the end of year announcement, the talk about the avatars, with Kaoru playing really high up, haha.

Kami: Um...um, are you gonna make a music video for it?

K: Eh?

Kami: You will make a music video, right?

J: Oh, a music video?

Kami: Yeah. Will you make it as an avatar video?

K: Well..we havn't really thought about it yet.

Kami: I am really interested in that, I really liked that idea.

J, T: Ehhh.

K: Thank you.

Kami: I kinda want you to make another one.

K: Oh, for the new song too?

Kami: Yeah, I really want you to make one for the new song.

T: Ah, but you said you havn't thought about that this time?

K: Not at this point, no.

Kami: Why don't you let me do it?

J: Haha

K: Eh? Let Kami make it?

J: Kami, do you have any talent for that type of thing?

Kami: Well, I mean, I reckon I could do it.

T: He reckons he could?

Kami: In my own godly way...I'd like to have a go.

J, T: Ohhh.

Kami: Thats right.

K: Will it work?

T: Haha

J: Yeh, because don't they usually do this type of thing in the workshop?

K: This is a brand new development, right?

T: Yeh, Im pretty surprised too.

Kami: I understand that, but I do think it would be good...like to have it reviewed in the workshop.

T: Ahh, like he wants to raise his reputation.

J: Yeh, but its quite ???*1. Kami, do you have confidence?

Kami:Yes, I do.

J, T: Ohh.

T: He's amazing.

J: Kaoru, he said he's confident?

Kami: Um, it might turn out kinda fun style though.

T: Fun style?

K: Fun style...we don't really have that image though.

J: Right.

K: Well...I'll have to ask the other members.

T, J: Yeh.

Kami: Kaoru, you are the leader, so there's no need to do that.

K: No no no. Its precisely because Im the leader that I have to ask.

J: Haha, yeh, just telling them out of the blue that the god from your own youtube channel will be making an avatar video..they would say thats not a leader!

Kami: No, but say something skillful.

K: Well, I'll just ask them.

T: I'm sorry to say this Kaoru, but I kinda wanna see this happen.

J: Really?!

Kami: A video produced by Kami..what do you think, Joe?

J: Well, it could be scary...

T: Haha.

J: Its not really about something incredible happening, its more like what is gonna come out of the limits of this god.

K: I personally don't have any problem with it, but as for Dir en grey, thats a group decision.

J: Well, yes.

K: It depends on that.

J: So, we'll hand the issue over to you for now to get the other members' approval.

K: Yeh.

Kami: Im being quite brave here, but I also have another request. I've had another idea.

J: You are being brash, aren't you?!

T: He is asking a lot today.

Kami: I thought it might liven up the show a bit.

J: Ahh, ok, go ahead...

Kami: Should we all play Momotaro Dentetsu together?

J, K, T: Momotetsu??

T: Ah, thats a good idea, I'm all for that!

Kami: Lets do it.

T: I really like Momotetsu..

K: Everyone's playing it recently, aren't they?

T: Yeah, its really popular at the moment.

J: I'm sorry, I reacted when he said the name..but I actually don't know what Momotetsu is...

T: Well, its a board game..

K: A board game style video game.

J: Oh right. What is 'tetsu'...like trains?

K: Yes.

T: Do you know Monopoly?

J: Yes, I know that.

T: Its like a train version of Monopoly.

J: Ahh, ok. Well, lets do it! Thats ok. How would we do it?

K: Well, we can think about that later.

J: Yes, ok..but that means its a posibility?

K: Will Kami play too?

Kami: Oh, yes! Thank you!

J: He sounds so happy, haha.

T: Kami, how will you join in with the game?

Kami:.....Yeh, how will I?

J: Yes, you tell us.

Kami:....how would I? I'd have to get some one to do it for me.

K, T: Haha

J: Like a representative of Kami?

Kami: Yeah.

T: Another person that we've never met will come, right? haha. Kami won't have met them, it will be a total stranger.

J: Dubious, right?

K: Ahh, but I havn't played Momotetsu in ages.

T: Ah, in the newest version you get stronger privileges, and its like you can make deliveries freely*2

J: So we are looking towards actually doing this, for now.

K: Well, yeah, its ok. We've got the start of two new plans.

J: Yep, one is a Kami produced avatar video for the new single.

K: Its not really 'produced by' though, more like 'made by'.

T: Making it on his own

J: Yeah, he's making it on his own for us.

K: Its more reassuring that way.

J: Haha, like, not in a collaboration?

K: I approve it of that.

Kami: Im making it on my own, but I don't have any money, so I want to get the money for it from you.

K: No, I can't do that.

J, T: Hahaha

J: He said he wanted to do it himself. He asked you if he could do it! If you want to do it yourself, you have to deal with the cost yourself.

K: This show has zero production cost anyway.

J: Haha, is that right? Thats tough.

T: We finally got a decent mic stand.

K: Yeah, but its kinda been reformed.

J: The mic stand fell over before didn't it? 

K: ???*3

Kami: I don't have any money!

K: Well, it doesn't have to be that high quality.

J: Yeah.

K: He doesn't need a camera though.

J: No. So there are two conditions as for making an avatar vid: one is that Kaoru has to get the permission from the other members, and the other is that Kami has to cover the production costs himself.

*On screen note: Permission was gained from all members in the following days*)

T: Yeah. ????*4, like to show he's made it all himself.

K: Yeh, because if we paid for it, we'd have to approve the whole thing.

J: Oh, yeh, like an official check?

K: Yeah.

J: That would be a bit different. What do you think Kami?

Kami: If I make it, can I sell it?

T: Haha, 'If I make it can I sell it'??

K: No, you cannot. That is that is the biggest rule.

Kami: Oh, please let me sell it!!!

K: That totally depends on how good it is.

J: Right, you might allow it if it was outstanding.

T: Haha

K: Ok, Joe, lets look at today's topic.

J: Yes, 'A monthly income of ¥1million. Chaging tune during game commentary. What is the aim of the massive spread of conspiracy theories, and related Youtube videos?' Well, there is a lot of news surrounding the American Presidential election last year, but a huge amount of conspiracy theories and fake information is spreading even amongst Trump supporters in Japan. Within this are big ones like, 'Trump will unleash martial law, and mass arrests of traitors will begin', 'Nancy Pelosi has been arrested', etc etc. There are even theories that are circulating only in Japan, and which are spreading through Youtube videos and round up sites. Within those, there is one user who brings up such material in the middle of game commentary videos, and can make up to ¥1million per month. The posibility that they are doing it for the advertising revenue cannot be denied. Well, its like, is it ok to spread lies in return for money?... this news questions the 'freedom of expression'.

K: Well, conspiracy theories have been around for ages, havn't they?

J: They always have, yes.

K: But since covid started...there have been...like, a load of theories coming up about it, right?

J: Yeah.

K: I kinda get the sense that a lot of conspiracy  theories about covid have grown to be seen as almost the truth.

T, J: I see.

K: You don't even know whats a conspiracy theory or whats real news now.

J: Well, yeah. In relation to covid, I also don't know what is actually correct. In some sense, there are certain voices that are louder than others, and if you mix in these conspiracy theories, you get this kind of....well, like with these protests in relation to the American election, or even without that, these theories do spread.

K: You kind of watch them in a funny sense to start, but then it feels like they gradually loose power.

J, T: Yeh.

K: There are people who will end up believing them though.

Kami: Um, that game commentator who is talking about conspiracy theories in order to make a profit, I don't like that. I want him to try harder, like, don't be influenced by money.

T: No no no. Kami has been talking about money a lot, haha

J: Yeh, like, 'Can I sell it?' He's only telling other people not to be influenced by money.

Kami: Yeah, gods are influenced by money...gods are. I kinda understand how this guy feels. I can't help it.

J: You can't help it?

Kami: Yep.

J: You can't help it for money?

Kami: Yeah, I take it back, its ok to be influenced by money.

J, K, T: Hahaha

J: Kami, you're weak!

T: That was a quick turnaround.

J: I was pretty shocked that this guy can make ¥1million per month though.

K: Well, if his view count grows...

J: Yeah. 

K: Those numbers would be impossible for this show.

J: Haha, yeah, everyone please help us out with that. Even if we aimed to make ¥1million, conspiracy theories take up a lot of time, right?

T: Yeh, but how about we feature some conspiracy theories?

J: If we will get like this guy, right?

Kami: Ah, lets go with some conspiracy theories!

J, T: Haha

K: There are probably people out there really putting thought into making new conspiracy theories, aren't there?

J, T: Yeah.

K: It sounds pretty difficult. Like, what type of conspiracies would fly?

J, T: Right.

J: ???*5

K: Like Kami's?

J: Kami's conspiracy theories, haha. But it is difficult. Hm, eventually we'll have a 'Freedom of Expression conspiracy theories edition'.

T: Well, lets do more of this kind of stuff.

J: Tokyo Sports loves this kind of thing, doesn't it?

T: Yeah.

J: Do your sales go up when you feature this stuff?

T: Well, not really with conspiracy theories, but we sell at lot when we write about UFOs and stuff. People are really curious about things that are 'unknown'. They really are.

J: Hm.

K: Ok, on that note, lets finish here. Thank you very much.

*1,3,4,5 Couldn't catch/figure out

*2 I've never played Momotetsu so Im not sure if im understanding the explanation right. 

To top page

[thefanficmonster]

Real Friends

Valkyrae & Reader (Male)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: SMAU, Platonic fluff, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Following an accidental and not very consensual face reveal, Y/N’s dealing the sudden shift of the spotlight on him even more than it was before. Being the big deal he is on social media, the internet has every right to be freaking out. Luckily, he’s got a friend to help him cope with it all.

Requested by @iawaythrown Hii! Thank you so much for your request! I’m so sorry for how long it has taken me to complete your request and post it but here it finally is. I’ve never written a SMAU before so this isn’t the classic SMAU format but I still hope you’ll enjoy it! Love, Vy ❤

Imagine you end a toxic relationship of almost a year and go to bed feeling like a ton of bricks has been lifted off you, like you can finally breathe properly and like you’re finally getting a taste of freedom. The very freedom you chose to lose by getting in the toxic relationship in the first place. Of course, I didn’t know it was toxic at the time, probably cause it wasn’t, but it gradually turned into a nightmare.

A nightmare that keeps haunting me even after I thought I had put an end to it.

Apparently, that was wishful thinking cause I woke up this morning to find an unbelievable number of notifications and messages from friends, family and my manager and associates. Being in the music industry as a faceless creator, I keep my circle tight and it only consists of people I can trust so to see them all freaking out at me at once, even the most level-headed ones, freaked me out too. Quickly, I opened the first notification I reflexively tapped on and it opened a post in which someone had tagged me.

A picture taken of me while I was asleep, no doubt one taken by my ex. That being said, I think we can all have a guess at who posted it in the first place. I didn’t listen to my manager when he told me to not allow anyone I trust 1000% into my inner circle. I was foolish and at the peak of my career, feeling on top of the world and feeling invincible which was rare for me. I’ve always been insecure about many things in my life, growing up with a lot of judgy people made me be that way. Not to mention that I didn’t want to be the victim of the internet’s racism either. People turn a blind eye most of the time, but it’s still there, it still exists and looms over all social media platforms, disturbing people’s peace left and right.  You see, I didn’t want people to have an opinion of my art based on my appearance or associations with other creators. I’m pretty good friends with many content creators, especially in the gaming industry, but I’ve never wanted to be put in a box as one of the many friends of someone famous. I made a name for myself without anyone knowing who I am exactly.

And now they all know because of this photo that my ex sent to float down the rivers of hungry social media:

Damn am I gonna get an earful from my manager or what. It’s still rater early though and I’m really not about to deal with this drama on a caffeine-free brain so if there are any calls, emails or messages that need answering - and yes, there are PLENTY of them - they’ll all have to wait until I feel like dealing with them. I’m glad I don’t have to keep up this unbothered charade at home since I live alone cause I seriously don’t feel ok with this. I mean, I could probably report it, but what use would that be when my brand now has a face and a huge chunk of my privacy has already surfaced against my will.

As I sit in my kitchen, sipping my coffee, I finally gather the nerve to at least scroll through the notifications that I’ve received. Fans reaching out, relatives, friends, pissed off people that are there just to exist and try to disturb my peaceful existence but all they’re gonna get is a hard DELETE from me. I have offers on top of offers for modeling pending, waiting on my response. I’ve never considered it, being a faceless creator and all, but my manager will definitely want to milk some cash from this too. That thought makes me sigh in defeat. I have no one to blame but myself for trusting my ex. No one made me do it, no one made me let them in, but I still did, fucking myself over insanely. Just like they’ve now fucked me over.

Amongst the sea of notifications and yet to be opened messages, one in particular stands out and makes me do a double take. It’s a message from my friend Rae - Valkyrae, as she’s known online. She’s one of those gamer friends I mentioned earlier, probably the one I’m closest with. Her and I talk on the regular so seeing a message from her in my inbox is nothing unusual so I wonder why that was the one that stuck out to me. Regardless, that’s the only one I feel like opening and replying to at the moment.

V ~ Hey Y/N, you doing ok? This all must be really hard on you so don’t feel obligated to reply. Do so when you can or want to. I’m here if you wanna talk

Of course Rae would be the one to know how I truly feel in a situation like this. I can act and cover up all I want but she knows exactly what’s underneath the surface of my façade. That third eye friends have for each other, it’s incredible.

Me ~ Doing ok. Wasn’t expecting to wake up to this but now that millions of people know what I look like it feels oddly bittersweet, you know? Like I don’t have to go out of my way to hide anymore but I’m also gonna miss that privacy I had while I was a phantom

Me ~ On the upside: people want me to be a model now XD

My message goes to Seen almost write away, the Typing icon appearing shortly after the messages were read. I wait for Rae’s reply, sipping my slowly cooling coffee with little interest due to how invested I am in our conversation. If there’s a person who can make light of this situation, it’s Rae, no doubt about it.

V ~ I know what you mean. It’s not gonna be easy to adjust to but you will get used to it eventually. I’m sure you’ll even grow to like it. Promise you, it’s not that scary to be exposed, there’s literal millions of people who support you wholeheartedly :) 

V ~ Us, your friends, are here too! Never forget that, we’ve always got your back, Y/N!

V ~ Oh and you really should be a model! Whoever’s saying that has got the right idea. Maybe don’t fear this new change, but embrace it! Take this new turn in your life confidently. Sure, it was out of the blue, but do you really want the person who exposed you to feel the satisfaction of bringing you down? That doesn’t sound like you at all tbh

The epiphany strikes me as soon as Rae’s words sink in as I read them. She’s 100% right. The last thing I want is for my ex to think they’ve won. I refuse to give them the pleasure of tasting victory on the expense of my mental health and career progress. In fact, imma show them just how much they benefited me. But first...

Me ~ Thank you so much, Rae. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this eye-opener

Me ~ I owe you one <3

I sure as hell owe her one, but for now I have other battles to win.

Rifling through my gallery, I find one more recent picture and without a shred of doubt or hesitation, I go straight to Instagram to post it.

~ “Since y’all were curious...And since y’all wanna see me model, you’re welcome” ~

Within seconds likes and comments start flowing in like a riptide, taking over my phone that, despite being charged all night, is already at half of its battery life.

I refresh the page with the post to look at the new comments that have come through, all supportive and complimenting me, some are real thirsty and some are incredibly kind. And even in that sea, her comment still sticks out to me, making me grin like an idiot.

“That’s what I was talking about! Work it, Y/N!“

#valkyrae #valkyrae x reader #valkyrae x y/n #valky #rae x reader #rae #valkyrae imagine #valkyrae fanfic #valkyrae fanfiction #valkyrae smau #smau #rae x y/n #rae fanfic #rae fic #rae fanfiction #among us #amigops #fic #fanfic #fanfiction #fandom #fan #social media au #requests open #x reader #request #reader

[barbasbodaciousbeard]

If You Love Someone, Let Them Go: Part 6

Summary: Since starting with SVU, Sonny hadn’t kept much terribly close to the chest. The squad knew about his family, growing up on Staten Island, the classes at Fordam. What was hidden was why he didn’t date. Sonny Carisi was also separated from his childhood sweetheart, a separation neither ever took to divorce. They had the same haunts. They’d grown up neighbors. Their paths crossed every few months, and divorce talks would turn into reminiscing would turn into a night spent together, sometimes sex sometimes just talking until the early morning. It always ended with one of them waking up alone however. How will that change when the squad finds out?

Pairings: Sonny Carisi x Original Character

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5

April 2015

“You ready?” Sonny called as he came into her apartment. They’d agreed to skip the pretense and drive together, and Sonny had booked a hotel room within walking distance after confirming she’d be okay with it. His bag was in the trunk, and he grinned when she came out bundled up, the same Fordham sweatshirt she’d stolen under her coat and the little wheeled bag beside her. 

“Ready,” she grinned, stretching up to kiss him, and he felt like he could do anything. He took her bag despite her protest.

“I got us a room for the next two nights. We ain’t gotta stay both, but I thought it might be nice to go to dinner? I got both nights off, too.”

“That sounds real nice. I packed some real people clothes anyway.”

“Perfect. Now let’s get going. Bella said you guys got a make up artist coming.”

“Yeah. She got one and a hairdresser.”

“She’s definitely the one who wouldn’t wanna get herself ready.”

“Yeah. We gotta get there in time. What’re the groomsmen doing?”

“Playing video games and taking turns shaving and showering.”

“Not fair.”

“You look hot. You don’t need hair and make up.”

“You always think I’m hot.”

“That’s because you always are.”

“So are you. I got real lucky on the husband front.”

“You really think so?” She could sense the current under what he said. It wasn’t just Am I hot? but was also Are you lucky?

“Incredibly lucky. I got you.” He slammed the trunk shut, cheeks pink when he settled in the driver’s seat. It was familiar to drive with their fingers laced, and he smiled to see her wedding set in place. Bella had gone by the bakery to surprise her one day, and his sister was very pleased to let him know both rings were on her left ring finger. He’d told the squad the same day he told Olivia, and his ring had been on his hand every day since, the cross the only thing on the chain again.

“Think they’d notice if I do my own make up and hang out with you?”

“She really does have y’all going like two hours longer than Gina did.”

“Yeah. Gina was very ‘Let’s get down to business, get photos, and get married.’ Bella’s way more into the matching robes and face masks vibe. But she’ll be happy.”

“I’ll check in a lot, okay? I don’t like the video games Tommy does.”

“You just like Sims. It’s endearing.”

“It’s kinda fun.”

“You spent six hours building a house once.”

“I had t’make sure it was perfect. They were having twins, Tor.”

“I love you, you absolute nerd.”

“Your nerd.” 

“Damn straight.” Sonny dropped her off at the venue, checking them in at the hotel and dropping off their bags. He stopped by the bridal suite when he got to the venue, thankful the weather moved the ceremony inside now that he was out of the cold. 

“Dominick! No boys allowed,” Bella said, wagging her finger at him, hair in rollers. 

“I know, I know. I’m just bringing Tor the key and her charger, okay?”

“You got her key?” Gina asked, leaning back to look at him and lifting her brow. “That sounds like you’re sharing a room.”

“We are,” Victoria said plainly, taking both items gladly. All the girls had changed into robes, but she’d opted to stay in his oversized sweatshirt until the inevitable photos. A primal part of him liked knowing that.

“That sounds like a reconciliation,” the younger Carisi sang, and Victoria rolled her eyes. “And you two snuck out of the party early like you used to.”

“I’m real glad you approve of our progress, but if you put too much pressure on us, we might break again.” Victoria knew he didn’t mean it and just wanted them to drop it, which she was grateful for. They weren’t quite there, but she trusted he’d probably open up by the end of their weekend together. Even if he didn’t, she’d decided she wanted to start planning to see him more after the wedding. Several late nights with Margy and a bottle of wine had told her that much. If you prove you’ll be there and patient, he’ll probably feel less like he’s scaring you off, she’d told Victoria after another night analyzing their last four encounters.

“Fine. But just know I’m telling ma. Maybe she’ll stop being mean to Tor.”

“Ignore Bella. She’s been glaring, but I think Sonny talked sense into her at Thanksgiving. She’s mad at both of them now.”

“As she should be,” he shrugged, kissing Victoria. “See ya for pictures.”

“See ya,” she grinned, ignoring his sisters’ squeals. This marathon made her kind of tired. Her hair and makeup were done soon enough, and she was grateful the dress was a dusty, dark enough pink in person to look good on her. She liked pink on Sonny, especially since the sides of his brunette hair had started going gray, against the blue of his eyes. The bridesmaids, the two Carisi sisters, Victoria, and a couple of Bella’s friends, all posed together in the matching silky robes before slipping their dresses on. 

“And you thought that pink wouldn’t look good,” Sonny said softly against her ear before kissing her cheek. 

“You like it?” Her hands rested on his shoulders as she smiled up at him, and he felt giddy. It was official. This was how they acted before, no almost needed. 

“I do. Beautiful color on you. And damn, my wife got a figure.”

“You’re the best hypeman,” she hummed as she straightened his tie. “I ever told you how handsome you look in a suit? Or how pretty pink makes your eyes?”

“I can stand to hear it again.” There was the cocky smile he got sometimes. “I’m starting to look old, doll.”

“Nah. Getting hotter.”

“Even with the gray?” He’d been self conscious about it before, when the evenly dispersed gray in his dark hair could be mistaken for a dirty blonde. His temples gave him away now, but she loved it.

“Even hotter with the gray.”

“Stop being gross,” Teresa whined. “It’s like when you were getting ready for homecoming again.” She was rewarded with her brother and sister-in-law’s middle fingers, and Victoria was pleased with Gianna’s disapproval and the picture the photographer snapped. They took pictures, and Sonny was glad when they settled in the back of the venue. He could see the back of Olivia, Barba, Amaro, and Rollins’ heads, and the change in his dynamic with Victoria had him looking forward to showing her off at the reception. 

“Shoes off at the reception. I intercept ma?”

“How’d you know?”

“I’m pretty sure I’m supporting ninety percent of your weight, Tor.”

“Love you.”

“Do I need to hold ya until we walk?” 

“Not enough time to make a difference. But you’re a saint for offering.”

When Olivia saw Sonny with Victoria on his arm, it made sense why he’d been calmer the last two weeks. He’d been texting her more, though he thought he was sneaky enough no one noticed how he smiled at his phone throughout the day. She seemed to smooth his edges, and she and Amanda shared a look over the way the pair watched each other across the front of the venue. The ceremony was a quick enough affair, and Bella had decided to let her bridal party sit wherever they wanted. That led to Victoria stepping out of her shoes, pleased to be spared a big entrance. Heels in hand, she followed Sonny to the table his squad was at before dropping into her seat and giving a wave.

“Means a lot to Bella and Tommy you all came,” Sonny said, taking her shoes and tucking the wall by his chair. “This is my wife, Victoria. Tor, meet Rafael Barba, Olivia Benson, Nick Amaro, and Amanda Rollins.”

“Nice to meet all of ya. I’ve heard a lot.”

“Wish we could say the same,” Rollins said, and Victoria immediately recognized what Sonny had meant. No venom. Just protective of her occasional partner. And Benson was definitely the mother hen, shooting the blonde a look as Amaro and Barba concealed smiles.

“Get it all out now,” she joked, rolling her eyes. “Married into this family nine years ago.”

“Been putting up with Carisi that long? I’ll petition the pope for sainthood.” The three piece suit. The snark. Barba was just what she expected. 

“Think she deserves it,” Sonny chuckled, arm flung easily over the back of her chair. “I can be a pain in the ass.”

Conversation started to flow easily, and he was glad Victoria was tough enough to bite back at Rollins and Barba when they referenced anything touchy. Tommy’s family filled out the rest of the table, and he was glad to see the trial had brought them around to agree that what happened to Tommy was wrong. Teresa and Tommy’s brother gave the speeches, and he liked seeing the squad join in as Bella threw the bouquet and Tommy threw the garter. 

“Bella caught my bouquet, remember?” Victoria smiled up at him.

“Yeah. And Freddy Esposito got the garter.”

“Both of ‘em got married this year.”

“Was delayed for us. Our friends from back then are just now getting married.” 

“We’ve been married nine years and aren't even thirty. I think we were ahead of the curve.”

“But now my baby sister is married and pregnant.”

“Dom, you do know she and I are the same age?” Sonny blinked, squinting at her. 

“You’re fucking with me, right?”

“We’re both twenty-seven.”

“No way Bella’s twenty-seven.”

“I like how you can fully separate me and Bella graduating together.”

“I forget,” he shrugged. “You always picked me anyway.”

“Then married you. Duh. Long game.”

“I hear people making noise.”

“They’re cutting the cake. Amaro has the garter half in his shirt pocket, and a three year old caught the bouquet. The same age you think Bella was when she caught mine.”

“Shut up,” he laughed, pulling her to stand at the edge of the dance floor to watch the first dance. His arms slid around her waist as he rested his chin on her shoulder.

“He wouldn’t have to stoop so low if you’d wear your damn shoes, stellina.”

“Ma, leave her be.” Gianna rolled her eyes, but Sonny squeezed Victoria as the music started. “She’s coming back around. Called ya stellina instead of Victoria.”

It was kind of fun to watch the four members of his work family loosen up around the room. Amaro and Rollins were across the dance floor and not fooling anyone. Barba wasn’t sure what to make of any of the Carisis or Sullivans, but since they’d easily figured out that Olivia was not involved with him, the singles from both families had circled the man who was suddenly the most eligible bachelor. The best part was how hard Olivia ignored his visual pleas to be saved as she talked to one of Tommy’s uncles. It was nice not pretending work and personal life were separate; the squad had taken him in like he hadn’t anticipated, and now his family was taking the chance to accept his squad. 

When the first dance was over, Sonny pulled her onto the dance floor, holding her flush against him in a way he hadn’t been brave enough to before. They’d talked every day the last two weeks, and he’d realized they really had hit the turning point. The songs weren’t slow, so his chest was against her back as his hand splayed over her stomach as they swayed. Both their voices were off key as they sang along to each song with the rest of the guests on the floor. Nick and Amanda were wrapped up in each other, and Olivia and Rafael seemed perfectly entertained, so he didn’t feel bad slipping out after a couple hours. 

“I know you two. Go ahead and dip. You stayed for all the important parts,” Bella had grinned, bumping Victoria’s hip with her own. “I’m the only sober one here, so this is gonna wrap up earlier than anyone realizes. Baby and I gotta sleep.”

“You sure?” 

“Positive, Tor.” That was all it took for Sonny to lace their fingers, duck out of the venue, and start the couple of blocks to their hotel. At first, she wore the heels and walked,  but he quickly realized it was the shoes, not the wine, making her unsteady.

“That’s it,” he said, squatting in his suit. “Hop on.”

“My bag’s heavy.”

“I can handle it, babe.”

“You sure?”

“You don’t hop on, we’re going spider monkey front carry, and we both know that always ends in me tripping more.” She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and Sonny held her thighs, careful to keep the fabric under his palms to save her some modesty. When they were outside the room, she slipped the key from his breast pocket, helping him push the door open before he dropped her on the bed. 

“Thank you,” she sighed, toeing the pumps off and letting them fall. 

“Glad to be of service.” A little salute as he started to strip out of the suit and hang it. “Thanks for always ditching early for pajamas with me.”

“Glad to be of service.” She hung the dress and tucked the strapless bra away, and when Sonny turned from the closet, he saw her in the oversized sweatshirt again as she pulled the blankets back on the bed. He hadn’t bothered for two. They’d had that option every time but hadn’t used it when they were fighting. 

“Comfy?” He ran a hand through his hair, breaking up the gel before flopping beside her.

“Very.”

“It’s literally nine o’clock. Are we old, Tor?”

“Old? No. Codependent? Maybe.”

“We been living apart a year and a half. Maybe we’re just a clique.”

“Very true. We’re like if the plastics were millennials who had been married a decade.”

“We should write that script.”

“Forget law school. Teen movie parodies based around our marriage.”

“Perfect. I’ll drop all my classes tomorrow.”

“I missed you. It’s been nice talking all the time.”

“I missed you too,” he murmured, watching her with his cheek pressed to the pillow. 

“Regardless of if you’re ready to tell me, I wanna keep talking a lot.”

“I’m ready. I just was going to wait. Don’t wanna ruin our weekend.”

“I feel like you’re going to tell me and realize I don’t care as much as you thought. Unless you fucked somebody.”

“First, last, and only, Tor.” He rolled onto his back, taking a deep breath, and Victoria knew him well enough to know this really was going to be the moment. She sat up, legs tucked beneath her. Leaning towards him a little, she put her hand on his chest and rubbed what she hoped were soothing circles as he put his hands behind his head. When he was nervous, Sonny talked to the ceiling, just needing her to anchor him.

“Just trust me, okay?”

“I trust you, vita mia,” he murmured, and that particular Italian term of endearment let her know it was really happening. “You remember when my hours changed? End of 2011. Became a detective. Acted funny when you took me upstate. A year before I fucked up and forgot your birthday bakery combo dinner.”

“Of course.”

“I was working homicide.”

“Okay?”

“It really fucked me up, Tor. What I seen, it was so bad. The women. There were so many women, and they’d be so pristine. One of them was in a fuckin’ dumpster even. But he took all the time to give her a bath and do her make up and get her dressed. And you know what that always told me?”

“What?” she whispered, taking the hand that went from behind his head to rest on top of hers.

“It was their husband or boyfriend. The person who they trusted. And their faces were so peaceful, Victoria. They knew what was coming. And I’d go talk to people. You know what they’d say? They weren’t surprised. They’d seen it. They’d heard it. Those men hurt their wives and girlfriends. Took advantage of the fact they trusted and loved them. I started seeing you when I saw them, Tor.”

“Sonny,” she whispered, hating the way his voice sounded. It was thick with emotion, and he’d closed his eyes. She was well aware that if he opened them, they’d be rimmed red and tears would be falling. “This is what you couldn’t tell me?”

“You’re so proud of me. I didn’t want to disappoint you. I couldn’t sleep and it hurt so badly. I’d wake up freaking because I thought it was you. I’d never hurt you, but my brain just- I don’t know. And then you’re so good. You deal with cakes and fondant and cannoli and things that make people happy. I was so scared that if I talked about it, it would blot out the light in you. I felt like the only light I had was you. I think I pulled away because of that and it snowballed. When it got so bad, the last six months? It got to the point I thought all that darkness and the stuff I was seeing and the stuff my brain was picturing would- fuck- leak into you through osmosis or something. When I wanted to tell you, my brain would just change the words I wanted to say.”

“Sonny, I didn’t know it was like that,” she murmured. 

“You couldn’t have known. I wouldn’t tell you.”

“I should have figured it out.”

“Don’t do that, doll. If you’re willing to trust me to tell you moving forward, I just want to move forward.”

“I shouldn’t have left, Dominick. You were hurting, and I just abandoned you.”

“I was depressed. I should have told you or talked to someone. Being depressed doesn’t make it okay to neglect you. I need to take care of myself.”

“And I should have stuck with you. Figured out the why.”

“You did though. I’ve known that I can come to you for the last two years. I just couldn’t get past myself. Doc’s been working through it with me. Says I gotta learn that dad bottling it up wasn’t good. It works better for him and ma because she couldn’t read him when they met. I never had to tell you so I didn’t know how. And then dad doesn’t believe in men sharing their feelings. It’s easy to ignore that for the good feelings. I didn’t want you to think I wasn’t tough enough.”

“I didn’t know how to tell you how I was feeling. I knew you saw dark stuff and I was scared to make it worse. I didn’t want to pressure you.”

“Are we okay?” His voice was almost pleading, barely a whisper as his eyes finally opened to look at her. She laid against him, cupping his cheek as his hand flew to rest on hers. They were both crying, and she hated it. She hated to know that it was such a stupid miscommunication. If she’d pressed on it, taken guesses, asked around, maybe she could’ve helped him not hurt. This new squad seemed good for him, and therapy was helping. She probably needed to address their relationship more in therapy, learn how to ask for what she needed. They had to an extent, helping her hold out as long as she had for him to open up.

“We’re okay, Sonny. I’m so proud of you.” She was nudging his nose with her own, not dropping his gaze. 

“Thank you for being so patient.”

“I’d have waited for ya forever. First, last, and only, Sonny.”

“Come home.”

“We gotta consolidate now,” she teased gently. “But I’ll come home.”

“It’s in Brooklyn now. You’ll like it. I didn’t even get rid of that stupid dog statue.”

“He’s a very important dog statue.” 

“I love you, you weirdo.”

“I love you too, nerd.” He missed laughing with her, even when they were both crying. The relief that flooded him was suddenly exhausting. Not telling her had been heavy on him for a long time, but he didn’t expect his body’s physical response to the openness. He felt like he did before he went on this pointless journey to hide the bad parts of his field from her. She knew what he did. She kissed him, slow and sweet and loving, and Sonny’s arms snaked around her. They’d kissed plenty since she left, but there was always a hesitance behind it. Unsureness around their status. Now, he was kissing his wife, not his estranged wife. Even if it took time, they were working towards her coming back home. They hadn’t had sex since their ill fated first run in post separation. It was slow and sentimental, and afterwards, he had a half second of panic she’d disappear. Instead of pulling away like his gut wanted, he curled around her frame, nuzzled into the crook of his neck. 

“I missed that,” he murmured. 

“Me too.” She rested her hand on his, and he could feel that she was smiling in how her cheeks moved. He felt greedy, wanting to feel every bit of her skin he was able to before he fell asleep. When he woke to find her still there, he was relieved, and even better, she’d twisted in the night, leg hooked over his hip and her chest pressed to his. They’d spent most of the night talking or tangled together, so they’d slept in until ten o’clock. He checked his phone to be sure everyone had made it through the night before. Once he reminded his mom he was spending the weekend and really wouldn’t be at Sunday dinner, he settled back in to watching her. After a while, she started to stir, pulling him closer. She’d been right, everything had changed once he told her. He didn’t feel like he had to keep any space between them.

“Morning, beautiful,” he whispered, and she stretched her arms over her head.

“Heya, handsome.” She pressed a kiss to his lips, and it took all his attention not to take her again. He’d made plans for the day, and he was determined to stick to them. Even if they hadn't reconciled, she was a sucker for the beach, even when it was cold, so he’d planned to take her to lunch, take her to get her nails done, and take her to walk the little shops he’d found. It would make her smile, and he’d missed the little trips they’d taken before. Other than going to the cabin, something she’d planned, it had been years between work and school and money. For their tenth anniversary, he was already planning, even though there was just over a year to plan. He wanted to take her back to New Orleans, just the pair of them together now and no disappointment on her part that her mom was there but ignoring her. 

“I planned a day for us.” His hands trailed her spine, and he realized something else had shifted since he told her the reality. While he thought it wasn’t possible, he felt even closer to her. The men in his family, though well intentioned, had always told him it would be viewed as weaker to share his emotional world with anyone. They thought it was a little girly for him to be as sappy with her as he tended to be, tearing up at weddings and when he talked about how proud of her he was. But the bad things? Those were weaknesses that would drive her away. The realization that the depression and inability to separate work from her didn’t scare her off made him realize that letting her see it wasn’t going to break them. Hell, it seemed to bring her closer.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Lunch on the beach. Little walk on the beach after. Manicure- I know you, Tor. Don’t try to say you got one for Bella’s weddin. You love them but won’t take yourself ever- and then we can walk around some of the little shops and stuff.”

“That sounds like a real romantic day, Dom.”

“What can I say? I learned my lesson about not being romantic.”

“I’m excited to come home.”

“Me too, Tor.”

Tag: @cycat4077 @fear-less-write-more

#law and order special victims unit #sonny carisi #sonny carisi x oc #sonny carisi x reader #svu #writing

[pragmatic-optimist]

☀️ IBoatedHere 👀

send me a ☀️ + your ao3 and i’ll tell you my fav fic(s) of yours 

Rae!!! I went back to read through my bookmarks to help me with this ask. This led to me re-reading each fic (again) and realizing the task of picking favorites would be a tall order. In order to narrow this down, I decided to choose from fics that I have not commented on previously. But in the time it took me to answer this ask, you shared two more incredible stories. I stuck to my original choices, but there was a moment of second guessing. So thanks for making this harder! 😆

Prepared and Shared:

This story is a GIFT to Carlos Reyes fans. I don’t think it is a secret that Carlos is my favorite character on this show. I am pretty vocal about it. 😂 Sometimes one of the hardest things about being a Carlos stan is the limited details we get about his backstory. So this story was much needed and appreciated. You gave us the insight into Carlos’ background we've been craving and it’s a lovely journey from beginning to end. In addition, you also provide us with a wonderful explanation of where he gets his gourmet chef skills and love of cooking, along with an excellent depiction of how cooking is an extension of his caretaking.

Several parts of the story were excellent codas for season 1 and 2. Specifically, I love the moment you wrote following the 1x02 dinner scene. I won’t spoil it here for folks, but what you wrote is canon in my head. The way you wrote Carlos in that scene, the insight into his thoughts after that spectacular failure of a meal, and TK’s disbelief that Carlos could still be so Carlos after everything? Glorious tension and I ate it all up.

Your entire depiction of TK and Carlos’ relationship and its progression? ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

THE FRENCH TOAST. THE DOG TREATS. So much teasing. These scenes were incredibly funny and profoundly heartwarming at the same time, which are two key elements I associate with your writing. You consistently have me back and forth between these emojis: 🥺🤣😍

The Reyes Family + TK dinner scene was SO GOOD. The Andrea and TK stuff you write is some of my favorite, I love their dynamic so much. I really want them to be BFFs, even if Carlos will pay the price lol. We know he will secretly love it.

The flash-forward had me grinning like a damn fool. I want to give a special shout-out to your Judd (you capture his voice exactly as it is on the show). The back and forth between Judd and TK, plus everyone else in the scene, was reminiscent of a classic sitcom comedic moment. 

I remember you once mentioning that you wanted to write Carlos in a way that makes him as complex of a character as he deserves to be. This is just one of several stories where you accomplish this goal. You’ve done a stellar job of fleshing out his character in a nuanced way and it feels authentic to the Carlos in canon. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

A Shared Weight:

Surprise, surprise. Another Carlos-focused fic. Lol. I chose this story because it contains so many of my favorite things: TK being a soft, supportive boyfriend; the 126 rallying around Carlos; FOUND FAMILY FEELS; an Andrea and Carlos mother/son moment; the Reyes family ranch as the setting (I am very emotionally attached to the Reyes ranch and we’ve never even seen it in canon 😂).

Everyone being there made sense and every job/task they had fit them so well. Again, this is another moment I wish we could see on screen. Sometimes on 911 LS, it feels like the writers are stuck on how to bring the whole group together outside of work. They really leaned into game nights and parties this past season, which I did enjoy because it gave necessary screen time to characters we love. I just wish we also had them come together as a group to rally around Tommy towards the end of the season. I love the quiet moments as much as the celebratory moments between the characters. This story was a great example of how to use a quiet moment to build meaningful relationships between the characters. You wrote all of the interactions here so beautifully. 🥺

Quality Andrea and Carlos scene. I love their chat about found family and TK. I’m actually a little emotional thinking about it as I write this. Carlos Reyes is a mama’s boy and no one can tell me otherwise.

The end scene with TK and Carlos. Once again, you had me 🤣😍🥺. It was perfectly them. 

I really love this story and the focus on having Carlos be comforted/supported when he needed it most. He is definitely not the type to ask for help to avoid feeling like an inconvenience or a burden. You wrote this before 2x12 and up until that point, we had only seen Carlos being a pillar of support for TK and Michelle. So reading this story was especially touching because we had not yet seen Carlos being cared for in this way on screen. You are really keeping Carlos fans fed through fanfic, bless you.

Honorable mentions: When You Think You Are In Pieces (There are many parallels between Judd/Grace and TK/Carlos in canon. This story does a nice job of mining one of those parallels so that Judd can help TK come to an important understanding about his relationship with Carlos. Loved it.) + This Is How You Fall In Love (I am such a fan of missing moments, especially ones focused on key moments in a relationship. I really enjoyed this, each scene for each stage was well-executed. Honesty and Stability were my favorite. Everyone should read this one, I can’t believe this was your first Tarlos fic. You were knocking it out of the park right out of the gate.) + Soapy Dishwater Drips (Sometimes nonlinear writing confuses me because I get a little lost. Lol. But this was great, each vignette was better than the one before it. This is the kind of story that makes the reader fall even more in love with TK and Carlos’ relationship. I reached the end and knew I would be back to read it again and again).

#why yes i am still answering these lol #thank you rae for writing for this fandom! #and for loving carlos as much as the rest of us! #my apologies for how long this took #i’ve been working on it in pieces #and i am incapable of being concise when i am excited to talk about things i enjoy 😂 #i am who i am 🤷🏽‍♀️ #ask games #my favorite 911 ls tarlos fics #tarlos fic rec #iboatedhere #rae tag

[ibelieveinharrystyles]

Chapter Six: Empty Words and Emptier Promises

Ashley stared at the clock, the taxi to take her to the court was due to arrive in a matter of minutes, and yet Harry was nowhere to be seen, when she told him about the new date for the trial he promised he’d be by her side. But here she was, sitting alone on her sofa, she heard her doorbell ring, meaning the taxi driver had arrived, she was still managing to hide the bump, knowing there would be members of the press loitering outside trying to get a good picture. If Ashley was completely honest, she still hadn’t told Harry about the baby, even though she was almost five months pregnant, even when lockdown measures eased Harry still didn’t come back home. Ashley wasn’t stupid, she knew where he was because she followed dozens of fans on twitter, she knew full well he was having a nice time in Italy. Lottie was looking after Daisy, and Lou had agreed to meet Ashley at court, she had also been called as a witness, seeing as she was the one who found Ashley lying on the floor in the first place. Without the support of Lou, Lottie and Louis, Ashley had no clue where she’d be by now, they were the only people who knew about the baby, even when her mum came to London for Daisy’s birthday, she couldn’t tell her. Compared to Daisy’s pregnancy she felt so disconnected, she had been to all the necessary scans, but she didn’t feel the glow, she didn’t feel the joy, she just felt alone.

As she had expected there were several members of the press waiting outside the court, although neither Ashley or Harry had publicly confirmed their relationship, most people had worked it out. Ashley climbed out of the taxi, ensuring her top effectively concealed her baby bump. Lou was there to meet her, welcoming her with open arms. The pair made their way up the stairs and into the court building, “So Harry’s a no show then?” Lou asked.

“Yep, I’ve been texting him all week, as far as I was aware he was going to be here today.” Ashley explained.

“Oh Ash, I’m so sorry, how’s things with you and the baby?”

“Fine, I almost feel like it's not real, Harry still doesn’t know.” Ashley told her.

“When do you think you’ll tell him?” Lou asked.

“When he decides to show up.”

“Hello stranger,” Ashley looked over her shoulder to see both Louis and Niall, she half expected Louis to come, but seeing Niall provided an added sense of relief, “Lou thought you might need some moral support.” Niall told her.

“You have no idea how glad I am to see you both,” Ashley told them, “I know it’s a big thing for you both to come, so it truly means the world to me.”

“Ash, we’ve been mates for ten years, that counts for something.” Louis assured her.

“Try telling Harry that.” Ashley replied.

“Is he not coming?” Niall asked.

“He’s sunning it up in Italy,” Ashley remarked bitterly, as Will and his barrister walked past the group.

“There goes the man of the hour,” Niall muttered.

“I swear if I’d been there I would’ve decked him,” Louis told them discreetly.

The trial was well in progress and Ashley had finally been called to the stand, as she stepped up to the box she looked up at Louis, Niall and Lou. “I swear that the evidence I give today shall be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.” she read from the sheet.

“Thank you, Miss Hanson you’re in a relationship with Mr Harry Styles aren’t you?” The barrister asked.

“I mean I’m not really sure what relevance that has,” Ashley told him.

“It’s relevant Miss Hanson, when did your dalliances with Mr Styles start?” He continued.

“December last year.”

“When you were still in a relationship with my client Mr Clarkson?”

“We kissed two weeks before Will attacked me,” Ashley told him.

“Did it ever go further than that?” He asked.

“No, not when I was with Will.” Ashley replied.

“So, do you not think it was expected for Will to be angry that his partner of a year cheated on him with a global megastar?”

“I don’t really see how Harry’s success and wealth have any relevance, and I don’t understand how you can try and blame me for Will’s actions,” Ashley told him, “You seem to be trying to justify his unlawful beating of a woman, by the fact that whilst I was in an unloving relationship I was in love with another man, who yes on several occasions I met up in secret with. But last time I checked, nothing I have ever done with Harry has been illegal.”

“Are you pregnant Miss Hanson?” He asked her abruptly.

“How the fuck do they know about that?” Louis whispered to Lou.

Ashley remained silent, “I’ll ask the question again, are you pregnant Miss Hanson?” Will’s barrister asked.

“Yes I am, not that I see how that's relevant, and that information stays within this courtroom, if me or our legal team hear of that information being leaked to the press you will be sued for every last penny you have.”

“And when was the baby conceived?” He asked.

“February.”

“Are you completely sure of that?” The barrister asked.

“Well I know when I had sex with my boyfriend, and I also got an A in A Level biology so I know how the reproductive system works.”

“No further questions, your honour,” The barrister told Ashley.

All the witnesses had been called and the jury were busy making their verdict, Ashley sat in between Niall and Louis. “It’s going to be okay Ash, they can’t let him get off.” Niall assured her. The jury promptly returned and took their seats, “Could the foreman of the jury please rise?” The judge declared, “On the count of grievous bodily harm do you find the defendant Will Clarkson guilty or not guilty?”

The pause felt like an eternity, Ashley was on edge, Niall took hold of her hand, holding it tight, “Guilty.” The foreman announced, tears streamed from Ashley’s eyes as she let out an overwhelmed sigh of relief.

“We said it would all work out didn’t we?” Louis whispered, wrapping an arm around her.

“Mr Clarkson, you will serve a minimum sentence of twelve months, when you are released, the restraining order, preventing you from any contact with Miss Hanson or her daughter. Take him down.” The judge said.

“I can’t believe it’s finally over,” Ashley whispered, watching as Will was taken down to the holding area.

“You were incredible Ash,” Lou told her.

“You really were, how about we all go for drinks to celebrate?” Louis suggested.

“Not sure if that’s the best idea,” Ashley replied, gesturing to her bump. “But Lottie’s back at mine looking after Daisy, we could go back and join them, order in a takeaway like the old days?”

“That is an incredible idea,” Niall declared, throwing an arm around Ashley’s shoulder before the group made their way out of the building.

Back at Ashley’s house everyone was sitting in the living room, watching Daisy as she performed a new dance that she had been perfecting, Ashley stood at the island in the kitchen, organising all the food that had been delivered from the chinese takeaway. “Anything I can do to help?” Niall asked, appearing at the door.

“If you could just unwrap those few things and take them into the kitchen you’d be a lifesaver.” Ashley smiled, gesturing to the untouch carrier bag.

“So how are things going with our dear Harold?” Niall asked.

“I never know what's going on with him Niall, he promised me he would come back for the trial, he knew exactly when it was, he also missed Daisy’s fourth birthday, and I haven’t had the chance to tell him about the baby.” Ashley explained.

“How come you haven’t told him?” Niall continued.

“It didn’t seem right to tell him over facetime, and I don’t have a clue how to tell him, I know he wants a family more than anything, but whenever gets on tour I will effectively be a single parent.” Ashley explained.

“I’m so sorry Ash, it’s a shit situation, but I think there’s more than enough love between you two to make things work, and besides, now his schedule is way less busy than when we were touring as a band, he’ll put in the effort to make it work for you both.” Niall assured her.

“I’m worried though, if you were Harry, would you have handled it how he has?” Ashley replied.

“Probably not Ash, but you know what he’s like, sometimes he likes to work things out in his own space.” Niall replied.

“I just wanted him there more than anything Niall.” Ashley sighed, glancing at the photobooth pictures of them from his 21st birthday that sat in a frame on the window sill, Niall proceeded to take a couple of the plates into the living room as Ashley picked up the frame. “Come back to me H.” She whispered, looking up at the amber sunset.

February 2015

“Happy birthday Harry!” Ashley slurred as she entered the venue, stumbling with each step.

“Hey there Ash, I’ve got you love.” Harry smiled, taking hold of both her arms. The party had only been going for a couple of hours and Ashley was already very much plastered.

“You’re amazing Harry, I love you loads.” Ashley smiled, placing a kiss on his cheek, she looked up at him, moving to kiss him on the lips.

“You don’t want to do that Ash, not while you’re drunk.” Harry insisted, moving out of her way, “Come on, let’s grab you some water instead.”

“I don’t deserve you Harry, you’re too pure for this world.”

***

Harry was restless, he stood on the balcony of his room, staring at the starry skies of Italy, over thinking all the mistakes he’d made in the last four months. He felt dreadful for not being at the trial, he didn’t even know what the outcome was, Ashley hadn’t called or texted to let him know. He dialled her number quickly before he had the time to change his mind, she answered pretty quickly. “Hey baby.” He whispered, holding to his ear.

“Hey.” She replied softly.

“How did it go today?” Harry asked, knowing he had let her down.

“He got twelve months.” Ashley told him, cradling her baby bump as she snacked on a pot of cookie dough ice cream.

“That’s good isn’t it?” Harry replied.

“It was pretty shit actually H, his barrister tore our relationship to pieces,” Ashley sighed, “We haven’t publicly addressed the rumours so I assumed Will filled him in on everything, but he knew stuff that only a handful of people were aware of.” Ashley told him, meaning the baby.

“Like what?” Harry asked.

“Nothing really, just little things.” She told him, “When are you coming home H?”

Harry paused, if he was honest, he didn’t have a clue, “Soon baby, I promise.”

“That’s what you said last time H, I haven’t seen you since February, I needed you there today.” her voice began to wobble as tears formed in her eyes.

“I know love, my head’s been a bit all over the place, I needed to get out of the city.” Harry explained, holding his head in his hand.

“Harry you were in LA for three months, thats a fucking massive city.” Ashley told him angrily, “Ever since we went into lockdown I’ve been picking up the pieces of what you left behind, for two months the only person I’ve had contact with has been Daisy, who is now four, in case you had forgotten that.”

“I know I’ve been stupid Ash, I’ll make it up to you both I promise.” Harry replied, his voice now wobbling too.

“Don’t make empty promises we both know you can’t keep.” Ashley sobbed, “I don’t know if I can do this anymore H, you mean the world to me and it’s tearing me up inside. I’m not sure if I can be that person.” Tears streamed down her cheeks as she told him the cold hard truth.

“Don’t say that Ash, please don’t do this.” Harry replied.

“Let me go H, please just let me go.” Ashley whispered, she ended the call, the phone slipping straight from her hand, she was broken, they were broken.

#harry styles #one direction #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles one shot #one direction memes #best friend harry #harry styles fanfic #niall horan #harry styles lockscreen #harry styles layout

[earthingoddity]

so you know how y’all are constantly like: “what’s there to like about season five???”. i decided to make a list *-*

1. the discussion of disability in a teenage show. how many teenage shows can you name featuring disabled characters? and how many of those feature a character becoming disabled in the course of the show and having to adapt to that? i was very surprised when i realized this was the route they were going to take this season and i think it was very well done.

so let’s break that down:

1.1 they actually made sure to talk about other disabilities. i know some people will say they were just doing the bare minimum, but i disagree. that is such a complex theme, they could’ve easily said representing other disabilities respectfully would be a lot of work for only ten episodes, but they did their best with the limited amount of time they had.

1.2 the representation of the deaf community wasn’t limited to their disability. it actually pisses me off hearing people say “wow, for a while there, i even forgot arthur was deaf!” as if he *has* to let you know everytime he’s on screen. disabled people are more than their disabilities, thank you very much.

1.3 overall, it was a positive representation. they could’ve spent so much time going through all the things that would be too hard for arthur, but they actually had an entire episode where arthur was completely deaf - he took his hearing aids off - and it was a very happy and positive episode. he was having fun, clubbing, dancing, laughing with others, and i think we took a lot of that for granted in the midst of everything that was going on, but that was a really positive representation that didn’t limit itself to stereotypes around deaf/disabled people. i actually expected that they’d drag a lot longer the feeling of loneliness and discomfort of the first couple of episodes, but they quickly changed that rhythm, so that instead of focusing on what arthur was “losing”, they focused on everything that arthur was gaining - new friends, a new love interest and a new way to see the world. also, in relation to the whole implants thing, they delivered very in depth opposite perspectives on the matter and never felt like they were shaming one group or the other.

2. SyMbOLisM! skam france is very good at it and they nailed this aspect in season three. but there was a lot of it in season five as well. like the 7am clips in episode 2, that were used to show the lack of progression in arthur’s hearing and his growing frustration and how those clips were incredibly dark, to match his mood. episode 7 also had such an interesting meaning. with arthur taking the chance to explore the world without his hearing aids, he got to explore a whole *new* world, and not a lacking one, which ties very well with what i just said about being a positive rep, but also shows that the entire episode wasn’t about arthur finding a new layer of himself, but rather him just uncovering one that was already there.

3. use of music/sound effects. it can be hard to represent deafness in a media like a tv show, but skam france did it so well. the use of music is always very conscious in this remake; while others really go hard in the soundtrack, skam france hardly ever has background music, unless it means something. another small thing but that i loved was whenever arthur was taking off/putting on his hearing aids, if he was to put the left one first for example, the sound on the left side of your headphone would start first. it was such a small thing but made the experience a lot more immersive imo, as well as the use of muffled sounds, pitching, etc.

4. Arthur. i am always surprised whenever i hear people say that they liked arthur better when they were not in his pov. i completely disagree, but then again, i feel like this fandom has very unhealthy expectations on their mains, as if they haven’t watched already 4 seasons of the main making mistakes over and over again, lol. i loved getting to know more of arthur - he’s loyal AF and protective of the people he loves. he struggles in letting people in, though, and never wants to be a burden or worry others. he’s perceptive and quick to notice when his friends need help. he is also short-tempered and when he gets mad, it is explosive, but he doesn’t hold grudges for long. he was a much more complexed character than i imagined and he totally made this season for me.

5. le gang. this boysquad is the best, sorry. they’ve always been the funniest and warmest, but it was really nice how s5 explored all the sides of that relationship, including the not so pretty ones. they were the relationship i wanted the most angst from, and i am so happy i got it. i loved seeing how chaotic, but supportive they were of arthur though and they brought so many laughs this season.

5.1 the lack of toxic masculinity. i think this ties well with arthur, because it is amazing to me that even though we were following a straight white boy as a main this season, we had no moments of unhealthy masculine competition; le gang could actually talk about other things rather than just porn stars and jerking off (other boysquads Wish!); and arthur would literally flirt with anyone without a care in the world, because he’s certain of his sexuality like that. it was *refreshing* for once not to be confronted with these tropes that have become so common in teenage shows.

7. alexia. i have to talk about alexia separately here, because that’s the most we’ve ever seen from a chris character (not counting eskam cris, ofc), and i loved her so much. she wants to be a videogame designer and she’s creative and adorable. she always knew how to make arthur laugh, but also knew when he needed words of affirmation and she was never shy in telling him how much she loved him. it was also amazing seeing her open up about some of her insecurities, and that her confidence is something she had to work on as well. she was such a great friend & girlfriend and just ugh the best.

7.1 the female characters are badass and unapologetic. i am aware that the love triangle was unnecessary and a mess. but i am not mad about the way both characters were represented, because they were both great characters. i liked alexia more simply because i was already attached to her from previous seasons, but noée was badass as well and teaches arthur so much, and not only about her experience as a deaf person, but about life/love in general.

8. arthur’s relationship with his mom. we LOVE and STAN parents in the skamverse. arthur and his mom had the best relationship ever; i loved how they truly became a team by the end of the season. but since the moment she showed up, it meant so much that arthur could have at least one supportive and loving parent, no matter how much he screwed up or felt lost. his mom was really trying her best and i adored her.

9. *actual* adult advice. i understand why all the adults in the skamverse are a bit cringey and weird, but i feel like this results in these characters relying on each other’s poor advice throughout an entire season before they realize what they actually should do. and the talk with the school’s nurse and his doctor by the end of the season was meaningful AF and i wish something the remakes would explore more often, because it could resolve so many of their issues just talking to someone who knows better, lol.

10. the relationships with the girlsquad. i know this is actually very intentional of skam france - to build a specific kind of dynamic between the main and all the side characters. we saw that in season 3, and i think it’s a lot more evident here, but it still made a lot of sense and warmed my heart so much. arthur and imane were the purest - she was the first one to notice that something was wrong with him and also reached out to give him advice on how medical school could still be a possibility even with his disability when she absolutely didn’t have to, but she’s just a sweetheart like that. arthur and daphné had a lot more tension, which is understandable, because both are protective of their own best friends (bas and alexia) and would defend them to the ends of the earth. i think they honestly have a lot more in common than they think. but my favorite dynamic was arthur and emma. i totally did not expect for emma to have such a part in this season, but every single one of their interactions was Gold. emma could see a lot of herself in arthur and i think that’s why she was so quick to notice that he wasn’t interested in becoming a surgeon at all. that scene when she says it would’ve been nice to have arthur as a brother was the sweetest thing Ever.

11. i’ll finish with the acting. y’all, the guy who plays arthur literally CARRIED this season and i hope his back is doing fine. he was So powerful - he made me cry, and laugh, and feel frustrated. he delivered every single emotion perfectly. i also think that the fact these actors are friends irl (i assume? lol but i think i’ve seen them in each other’s personal IG stories) really helps their chemistry on camera. le gang feels like a group of brothers/best friends and they were always so natural and effortless in their interactions. the new actors also Rocked and delivered so much emotion even if they were using a completely different language and it was awesome.

(also, this just literally applies to *me*, a lucas lallemant HOE, but it was so nice seeing lucas up close from a different perspective. the fact we could still see so many layers of him: his emotional self, his bratty self, his supportive self, even a touch on his abandonment issues and everything made me so happy. i think sometimes i forget the lucas character was real and not something i made up because he feels too good to be true, and it was really interesting seeing him from arthur’s POV).

i’m not here defending the mistakes they made in s5, i don’t think it’s a perfect season either, but tbh i have yet to find what i consider to be a perfect season in the skamverse, so here’s just some things i liked about this season that i feel like y’all should take into consideration as well. thx

#skam france #i am aware that no one cares bc judging is easier than listening #but i had this on my drafts for weeks now so i was like hm might as well post it #:)

[tetsuwan-atom]

So...

I’m having preliminary thoughts at the moment but I just wanted you to know what I have been thinking.

I might have said this before, but I've been on Tumblr since 2012. I can't remember what month, it'll be nine years soon. When I started I was kind of learning the ropes, especially going from singleship to multiship. When I think about it even in the beginning there were problems. I wish I never stuffed up my first ship, that was quite fun, but that's.. a long time ago. Things picked up and I felt from 2014 things were getting good. Yeah, there were the odd dramas here and there but, it really was smooth sailing. I had great friends, some lasting a long, long time. Then in the latter years, 2017, 2018, 2019, those were some great years, incredible years.

2020 was when things went downhill.

It wasn't even when things got bad in March/April. It started in January with something I did which, to this day I extremely regret. Things would be different if I could take it back. Other things happened, I made another mistake in July I wanted to take back, but things got hard. Another mistake in November, lost a good friend then.

When 2021 hit things got really, really bad. One drama after another. I get hit with vagueblogging, callouts. That was when the accusations of toxicity started.

And with what happened  in July, the end result even. I'm... taking that really, really hard.

It has all taken a huge toll.

Tumblr is not the same place I enjoyed anymore. I appreciate all my friends here of course, we've made some great threads and experiences here and honestly I do want to continue them all!

But this platform has become... it's becoming more and more like a source of anxiety and drama. I don't even know if what happened recently will be the last of it.

I am, considering, for a fresh start, that eventually I might be moving to Rolescape. I’ve joined the discord server to watch it’s progress. I want it’s members to understand I’m not there to cause problems. I’m there to watch this develop. A few of my friends might be too.

If, I do make the move, I will be approaching everyone whom I’m currently rping with or those who I definitely intend to rp with and figure out where to go from there. I am also open to Discord roleplaying if it suits them better. I might stick around on Tumblr a little depending on what happens, but, if I am to complete this fresh start, the end result might be that this blog is archived.

I’m just letting everyone know ahead of time. My IMs and discord are open if you wish to talk to me about this.

At this stage, while I am on a short break and after, it is still business as usual on Tumblr. It may still be a long way off before Rolescape is live. When it is, a final decision will be made, but hopefully I will be able to keep each and everyone of you on, in some way or another.

Thank you again for your continued support and I hope we can all continue to have fun in the future, however it is.

Have a good day, everyone.

Charlie~

#OOC : KFC CHICKEN BUCKET #PSA : The Next Train To.....