#y’all latch on to ANY found family and it shows

[h0ah0ah0a]

y’all be like jayce and viktor will never happen and why do y’all think they’re lgbt in the slightest OH BUT SILCO WAS A GOOD DAD?? OH HE RAISED JINX?? OH HE DIDNT HAVE OTHER INTENTIONS & DEF WASNT RAISING HER SELFISHLY??? character analysis thrown right out the window smh

#don’t piss me off #y’all can like villains ONLY if u recognize they’re not good #love silco as a character but baby that is no father figure #y’all latch on to ANY found family and it shows #arcane #league of legends #silco #jinx #jayvik #jayce #viktor

[gooddaykate]

You Ain’t Woman Enough

Frankie Morales x Reader

Word Count: just under 4400

Tags: Pining, Fake Dating because Frankie has an annoying coworker, cursing, my roughly unedited terrible writing, I don’t think there’s anything else?

A/N: Okay, y’all. I wrote a thing. It literally would not have been finished without the constant support of @rzrcrst​. I’m just going to put this here and yeet myself into the void. Let me know what you think. Or not, it’s whatever. Gif credit to @pascalplease​ (let me know if you don’t want your gif used, sweetie)

The bar was crowded and loud, but you still heard Frankie’s quiet curse as he pulled his cap further down over his eyes.

“You good, Frankie?” you asked with a nudge of your shoulder.

He huffed and curled in on himself more. “You remember me telling you about that girl I work with? The one who works the gate?”

How could you not? He had complained about Kelly almost as long as you’d known him. 

When Frankie and his baby girl had moved in next door six months ago, you were fast friends. He had moved to the Rockies to be closer to his parents. He got a job at the small airport to fly the puddle jumper planes for the celebrities that came and went in Aspen. It was easy to fall into a camaraderie with him, talking shit about the people who came to play in the ski town you both worked in. It was just the two of them, and it was easy to offer help. Whenever he needed someone to look after his baby, you were the first to step up. He was quiet and kind, and always willing to lend a hand in return. He’d helped fix leaky faucets and a broken water heater. You hadn’t shoveled your own drive since you’d started watching Rosie for him.

You’d lost track of the number of times the two of you had sat in one of your living rooms just talking after Rosie was down for the night. You quickly learned that you could trust each other with the truth, so you shared everything. You talked through your quiet fears together. He knew about your relationship with your family and how you felt you needed to be close enough that they could visit, but far enough that they wouldn’t. You’d learned about his brothers, Pope and Will and Benny, and his time in Delta Force and the ptsd that it had given him. He had held your hand when you told him about the college boyfriend you’d had, the one you still had an open order of protection against. He had told you about how he used to cope with the ptsd, how he’d lost his pilot’s license, and the divorce that came with. You were angry for him, but mostly Rosie, when he told you that her mom had decided she didn’t want anything to do with her, either, and left her at his friend’s place while he was out of the country. On one particularly quiet night, Frankie told you about another brother and a trip to South America and how nothing had gone like it was supposed to.

The two of you were as close as two friends could be. You didn’t have any secrets between you, apart from one. It was easy to fall for Frankie and Rosie both, and you knew you’d keep that to yourself for as long as you knew them.

Kelly was a constant talking point and source of frustration for Frankie. You had never met her, but to hear him talk about her was enough. She  asked him out every time she saw him and constantly touched his arms and back and shoulders. One time she even took his hat off and ran her fingers through his hair. When you asked him why he’d let her do that, he mumbled something about just letting it be and changed the subject. Most often, he would end his rant about her with a ‘this isn’t fucking Wings.’ You’d usually just smile and move on. But Frankie hadn’t talked about Kelly in a couple weeks.

You raised your eyebrow at him, and he pointed. “Blonde in the red sweater.”

“Oh, holy hell. That’s Kelly? Does she live in the village?”

“No! She lives down in Aspen.”

You watched her as she scanned the bar, presumably looking for an open spot. Sitting in the darkest corner table would hopefully be your saving grace. When she passed over a couple seats at the bar and a few empty tables, something occurred to you.

“You don’t think she came up this way just to find you, do you?”

“Knowing her, I wouldn’t put it past her. Fuck.” Frankie took a large breath in and started talking. “Look, there’s something I didn’t tell you. I was hoping it’d never come up, but here we are. I got her to stop asking me out a couple weeks ago by saying I had been seeing someone for the last six months. And I may have mentioned it was you because I’ve got pictures with you and it was easy. And I know this sucks because we’re friends and all, but if you could just, I don’t know, hold my hand until she leaves? Please?”

You were stunned silent for a moment, and he couldn’t meet your eyes. Before you could respond, Kelly’s eyes found Frankie and she started making her way over.

“Shit, she’s seen you.”

You leaned in and took his hand. “I’ve got you, Frankie,” you whispered as you brushed a chaste kiss across his cheek. “Whatever you need.”

He raised his desperate eyes to yours in a quiet thanks, and you tore yours away from him to watch Kelly walk to your table. She was conventionally beautiful, with long blonde hair falling in waves down her back. Her jeans were so tight they looked uncomfortable and the red sweater she wore was cut low enough that you knew it was never intended as anything heat retaining.

You turned back to find Frankie’s eyes on you, eyebrows pulled low in concern. Without thinking, you raised your free hand to his face and smoothed the crease between his eyebrows before bringing it back down and cupping his cheek.

“It’ll be fine, Frankie. What’re friends for?”

He didn’t get a chance to say anything before Kelly had draped herself over him, making you jump and move your hand away from his face.

“Oh my god, Francisco! I didn’t know you’d be here! What a coinkydink!” She gave him an exaggerated wink and moved her body away from him, but kept her hands around his bicep.

His whole body was tense and his tone was clipped when he responded.“Yeah, well, I told you I was getting drinks with my girlfriend tonight, and that’s why I couldn’t go out with you. This is one of very few options, Kelly.”

“Oh, right. Well who’s got little Rosalina tonight if your neighbor is here with you?”

“We got a sitter,” Frankie all but mumbled.

Her eyes widened. “Wow, it’s the royal we, now?” she asked with an air of mocking incredulity.

She still hadn’t looked at you, or even acknowledged that you were there, apart from her emphasis on knowing that you lived next door to him. You gave his hand a squeeze and spoke up.

“Has been for the last couple of months, actually.”

She finally turned to look at you, a purse on her lips and heavy disdain in her eyes. You flashed her a smile and introduced yourself.

She held her hand out loose and palm down, like she expected you to kiss it. “Kelly.”

You gripped her hand and gave it a firm shake. “Oh, I’m well aware. It’s good to put a face to the many stories I’ve heard.”

Kelly dropped your hand and draped herself across Frankie’s shoulder again, looking up at him through her eyelashes.

“Francisco! You talk about me at home? What does little Rosalina think?”

Frankie was three stages of red and trying to peel her off of himself, but she kept latching on. “Kelly, Rose isn’t even a year, she doesn’t think about you.”

She let him go and pouted, like she was the baby. “But if you talk about me-”

“I don’t talk to my daughter about you.”

You had to cover up your laugh with a startled cough. Kelly’s eyes turned to you as she sat down in the third chair at the table.

“So you’re the girlfriend, then?”

You laughed and squeezed Frankie’s hand. “Yeah, I guess you could call me that. I mean, he certainly does.”

“The prospect of seeing her makes it easy to get up in the morning.” He chuckled. “You know, besides having an infant in the house.”

Kelly hummed and rolled her eyes. “Right. So, Francisco, tell me, why is it just you and little Rosalina?”

Your eyebrows shot up. “Kelly, that’s deeply personal and none of your business.”

Frankie brought you entwined hands up to kiss the back of yours. “That’s okay, cariño. I don’t mind.” He put your hands back on the table and turned to Kelly. “Her mom and I were in the process of getting divorced before Rosie was actually born. We just,” he trailed off and looked at you. You gave him a soft smile and squeezed his hand for him to continue. “We just weren’t right for each other. About a month after she was born, I took a trip to South America, and when I came back a week later, I found out that she decided she’d rather not be a mom, either. She left Rosie and the completed divorce paperwork with my buddy’s wife and took off. I haven’t actually seen or heard from her, since. After that, it was a stupidly easy decision to move back up here. My parents live in the village, so they could help out with their granddaughter and I’d have a support system that was more than a pair of brothers. One of whom beats people up for a living.”

He shrugged. “It was the best decision I could’ve made.”

“Oh? Why is that?”

He smiled. “I moved back to Colorado and found her.” He squeezed your hand again. “I wasn’t looking for it, but I fell in love again. I was lucky. And I couldn’t be more thankful for that.I love her almost as much as I love my daughter.”

Your breath caught in your throat and you had to remind yourself that this was for show. Obviously Frankie didn’t actually love you, he was just telling Kelly that he did. As far as she knew, you’d been dating for six months. Of course you would have said you loved each other.

You figured that it would be easiest to just give the partial truth, so you smiled. This was the easiest part you would ever have to play. “I’m definitely the lucky one. He moved in next door and it was completely impossible not to fall in love with them. I’m still sure that I’m going to wake up and it will all have been some kind of dream.”

Frankie turned to look at you, and the amount of love you could see in his eyes made you suck in a breath. “Te quiero con todo mi corazón.”

You knew you had to swallow down the emotion that brought up, but damn, if that didn’t bring butterflies to your stomach. It was just too much, having Frankie talk about your nonexistent romance. The feeling of his hand in yours, every brush of his leg, all the lovely words he used to describe a love you didn’t share. You just needed to get away for a moment.

“You’re the sweetest. Right. Excuse me for a minute.” You leaned over to kiss his cheek, and met Frankie’s eyes with a sad smile and a silent apology.

Once you pushed your way through the mass of people hovered by the bar, you leaned on the counter and looked at yourself in the bathroom mirror.

“What the hell am I doing? Why did I agree to that?” You hung your head low and let out a heavy sigh.

The door opened and the loud sounds from the bar interrupted your thoughts. When you straightened up to leave, you took one last look in the mirror and noticed Kelly standing behind you with her arms folded across her chest. When you made eye contact, a slow smile spread across her face. The look in her eyes made you shiver before you turned to face her.

She took a step closer. “Let’s just cut to the chase, shall we? I know you’re in love with Francisco.”

A startled laugh bubbled up out of your chest. It took a moment for you to respond because you weren’t sure if she was serious. “Of course I’m in love with Frankie. It would be impossible not to be completely in love with him and Rosie, both.”

Kelly raised one eyebrow and smirked before continuing. “Oh, I know that’s true. But I also know that you and Francisco aren’t actually dating. You’re just his neighbor and occasional babysitter. You can drop the act.”

You blinked in surprise, eyebrows shooting up your forehead. “Excuse me?”

“I know Francisco isn’t seeing you.”

“I’m sorry, I’m not following. How’d you come to that conclusion?”

Her eyes still hadn’t left yours, and it seemed like she wasn’t even blinking. “You know, when Francisco first told me that he was dating you, I was massively jealous.”

You rolled your eyes and let out a huff. “You don’t say.”

She ignored you and kept talking. “But I started watching him. I came up to Snowmass and asked around. I’ve watched the two of you together. I’ve seen you with Rosalina. I know you’re not a couple. I don’t know why Francisco thought he needed to make up some girlfriend and then pawn it off on someone who he clearly has no actual feelings for.”

You were horrified. “You’ve been watching him and Rosie?”

“Oh, I just needed to see who my Francisco was spending his time with. Now that I know that I don’t actually have to worry about him having feelings for you, he can go back to being my Francisco. I can’t believe you’re still carrying a torch for him when he clearly doesn’t care for you.” She backed away and looked down at her fingernails. “I mean, come on, you’ve clearly been in love with him for longer than I’ve been watching.”

Kelly’s face was smug, like she knew she was in your head. But you were focused on the more important part of her little speech.

You started out slow, to make sure she caught that you’d understood her. “So, just to be clear, you’re admitting to actively stalking Francisco Morales and his daughter.”

“What, that’s not-”

“That’s what you’ve just said. You said you started watching him. That you have watched his home, and his daughter, and who they’re spending time with. You’ve asked about him in the town that he lives in. You made a trip out of the way of where you live, just feign accidentally running into him and to corner me. Did you go to his house before you came here?”

“I am not stalking Francisco. That’s not what this is,” she spluttered.

“Oh? Then tell me exactly what this is, Kelly.”

She opened and closed her mouth like a fish, trying to come up with something. After a few moments of letting her flounder, she finally stepped forward and pointed her finger in your face.

“We work together! I’m not stalking Francisco! Even if that was true, you have no proof,” she seethed through clenched teeth.

A scary sort of calm washed over you. You had experience here. You could help Frankie and Rosie both.

“Get your finger out of my face, Kelly.” It took her a couple seconds, but she did drop her hand. If looks could kill, you’d have been dead three times.

“How careful were you to stay hidden when you were spying on Frankie’s home, Kelly?”

“That’s- I don’t-”

“That’s okay, Kelly. I have security cameras around my property. And we can certainly find testimony of the people you talked to. And I’m sure the airport staff would vouch for how uncomfortable you make Frankie on a daily basis. It’s easy enough to request a restraining order. Do you suppose that’s enough proof?”

Kelly’s eyes were wide and the fear you could see brought a slow smile to your face.

“We could probably even issue a protective order, since you have actually admitted to me, one of his child’s caregivers, that you’ve been actively stalking her and her father.”

Her eyes were panicked, and before anything else could be said, she was out the door. You took a deep breath and leaned back against the counter.

“What the fuck.”

A stall opened, and you startled. A young woman stepped out holding her phone. “I recorded that whole conversation. Do you want me to send it to you?”

Your brows furrowed. “I’m sorry?”

“I recorded what she was saying. Do you want me to send it to you?”

“Oh, uh,” you ran a hand down your face. “Yes, please. How much did you get?”

Her smile was sheepish when she handed you her phone. “Well, I hit record when she said she knew you were in love with him. I thought it was going to be a drunk girl confrontation that I could laugh about with my friends. Now I’m just kind of glad I’m a nosy bitch.”

You chuckled as you typed your number in. “No kidding. Thank you for having the insight to record, I guess. I don’t know what will come of it, but if he does decide to pursue something, we may need you to give some sort of statement.”

“All good. I figured. Just keep my number for if you need it.” She placed a hand on your shoulder and sent a comforting smile your way before leaving the bathroom.

You took a shaky breath and headed back to your table.

“What the hell did you say to her? She just took her bag and left, didn’t even say bye.”

You sat down and took his hand in yours. His eyes crinkled as he smiled. “You don’t have to do that anymore, she’s not here.”

“Frankie, what I’m about to say isn’t something nice.”

He interrupted you with a laugh. “I’d be surprised if you did have anything nice to say. She’s a lot.”

With a sigh, you looked down at your hand in his, and brought your free hand up to cover your entwined fingers. “No, Frankie. It’s really not good. Kelly…” you trailed off, unsure whether to sugar coat or just come right out and say it.

“Sweetheart, just talk. It’s me.”

Your eyes met his and you made your decision. “Frankie, Kelly has been stalking you and Rosie.”

The color drained from his face. “No. Kelly’s just a nuisance. She’d never go that far.”

“Frankie, she just cornered me in the bathroom to tell me that she knows we aren’t dating because she’s been watching you. There was another woman in a stall and she recorded it. She’s been watching me with Rosie and asking about you in the village.”

“Oh god, my baby. Would she have hurt my baby?”

His eyes were desperate again, but this time, holding his hand wouldn’t help. “I don’t know, Sweetie. I don’t know. You wait here, and I’ll pay our tab and we can go home so you can hold Rosie. You’ll be able to put your baby to bed and then we can talk about this more, if you want, okay love?”

Frankie’s eyes were glazed over with tears and he looked almost catatonic when you got back to him.

“Come on, sweetheart, let’s get you up so we can start walking home. Just a few minutes longer and you’ll have your baby girl in your arms. It’ll be okay, Frankie. I’ll help you however you need.”

The short walk back to your houses was quiet, your arm around his. Every time you looked at Frankie’s face, you saw the fear in his eyes, and you knew that he was imagining the worst-case scenario when you got home. He was afraid that he was going to walk in and find his daughter missing. A part of you was also afraid you were going to find that.

When you walked into the door to see Taylor sitting on the sofa with Rosie on her lap, you let out a sigh of relief. You could see Frankie visibly relax, his shoulders releasing some of the tension he’d let build up on the walk home.

“Oh, you’re home early. Is everything okay?”

Rosie’s chubby hands were reaching for her father, and he moved to take her into his arms. You sent a subtle shake of your head to her, and she nodded.

“Well, Mr. Morales, she was an absolute delight, as always.”

Frankie only hummed in response, Rosie tucked into the crook of his neck, lightly playing with the curls at his ear.

You gestured over to the door and reached for your wallet. “I don’t know how much he pays you, honey, but this is all the cash I’ve got.”

Taylor looked at you with wide eyes. “I wasn’t even here for an hour, though! You don’t have to do that.”

You put both twenties in her hand and then raised yours in surrender. “Oh, no, shucks, it’s in your possession, now, you can’t give it back.”

She smiled and shook her head. “Okay, then. Thank you.” She turned to where Frankie was standing. “Bye, sweet Rose. Anytime you guys need me, let me know. I just love her to pieces. Have a good rest of your evening, Mr. Morales.”

Frankie just nodded his head at her and went back to loving on his daughter.

“Thanks, hon. Have a good night. Drive safe,” you whispered as she walked out of the house. You locked the door behind her and turned back to Frankie. “You want me to hang out here for a bit?”

“Please. I’m going to put her down here in a couple minutes.”

You sat on the couch and tried to busy yourself on your phone, but your eyes kept drifting back to Frankie. He had Rosie resting on his shoulder just quietly rocking her in his arms. Her eyes were falling shut, but was fighting sleep because she’d startle awake every so often. Once she was out, Frankie looked at you. “Okay, I’m going to put her down. I’ll be right back.”

When he came back out to the living room, he sat down next to you on the sofa. “Okay. You said something about a recording?”

“Yeah, there was a girl in one of the stalls. She thought it was going to be something funny she could share with her friends so she started a voice recording.”

“Let’s hear it, I guess.”

You put your hand on his knee. “Frankie, we don’t have to listen to this right now. We can go over this in the morning, if you want. I don’t want you to lose sleep.”

He shook his head. “No, I’m already not going to sleep well. I’d rather just listen now.”

“Okay, sweetie,” you sighed. You opened the text and pressed play.

The tail end of your nervous laugh sounded and your stomach dropped. You’d forgotten that about what else Kelly had said. You just had to hope that Frankie focused on Kelly like you had.

“‘Of course I’m in love with Frankie. It would be impossible not to be completely in love with him and Rosie, both.’”

As Kelly continued talking in the recording, you just watched Frankie’s face. You usually didn’t have a hard time reading him, he was someone who rarely hid his emotions, but right then he just looked impassive.

“‘I mean, come on, you’ve clearly been in love with him for longer than I’ve been watching.’”

You could feel your face heating up.

Frankie reached over and paused the recording. “Is that true?”

You closed your eyes. “Frankie, I-”

“Dulzura, please. You have to know. How could you not?”

You looked into his eyes, but you still couldn’t make out the emotion in them. “Know what, Frankie?”

“Cariño, everything I said tonight,” he trailed off. He took his hat off and ran his hand through his hair. “Do you even know how much you mean to me?” he whispered.

“Of course. I help out with Rosie. We’re friends.” Just saying that out loud brought a lump to your throat. There were tears in your eyes threatening to spill, so you looked up toward the ceiling.

Frankie reached out and took your face in his hands, tilting it back down to look at him. A tear fell and he brushed it away with his thumb. “Dulzura, you mean so much more to me than just friends. Everything I said tonight was true. I wasn’t looking for love when I moved back here. I wanted a quiet neighborhood where I could raise my daughter near her abuelos. But love found me anyways.”

You could feel your lip quiver. “Really?”

Frankie smiled and brought his forehead to rest on yours. “Te quiero con todo mi corazón, mi amor,” he whispered.

“I love you, too, Frankie. With all of my heart.”

He brought his lips up to place a kiss on your forehead. “You sure you want to do this, cariño? You know all my baggage. You know how tough it will be.”

You let out a watery laugh. “Francisco Morales, you are the easiest man to love. You are kind and selfless. You’re stubborn. You love that baby of yours so, so much. It was so easy to fall for you. I’ve loved you since that first night we sat and talked right here.”

“Funny, that’s the night I knew, too. And the first night I bitched about Kelly.”

You groaned and looked down at your phone. “It can wait, cariño. It can wait.”

You looked back up at him and smirked. “You haven’t even kissed me, yet, Francisco.”

Frankie hummed and brushed a bit of hair away from your face and smiled. “You’re right, I haven’t. You are so beautiful, cariño.”

He leaned in close enough that your noses brushed. “May I?” he whispered.

Your answering ‘please’ was barely audible, but he closed the distance anyway.

Frankie was right. He loved you, so everything else could wait until morning.

#Frankie Morales x reader #triple frontier fanfiction #i don't even know what to put here #don't mind me

[crimsonandcloverwrites]

ok bhah ch11 my longest yeah boi ever

i’m literally... so excited I can’t even read it ok ok

oh no not the wedding invitations not this

i swear to god if we have to go through this wedding. knifeemoji

listen I have a fear that we’re gonna get the break up and the car accident same as canon dear god don’t put us through that either

no fears *literally everything that could make bhah more painful* several fears dot meme

god not the jamie invite. she cant even do it. another sign from god you are choosing to ignore

straight to Jamie’s house oh

lmao the red door I just worked out that’s a hill house reference from when I was wondering in like ch3(?) lol the inner workings of my dumbass brain never stop

“can we talk?” it’s happening what is happening

Dani was so tired of lying oh my god

my heart is literally beating so fast

alone in Jamie’s room bro wtf wtf

Jamie is just so soft and understanding always always aaaahhhhh

fuck she just wants out of this wedding so bad but she can’t even tell him

AAAHHH SHE KISSED HER OH MY GOD IT’S HAPPENING

fuck fgkjhdfkjgh this is not good oh no. Dani finally finally fucking doing something for herself and Jamie so aware that this cannot be happening like this right now

and yet both of them just falling into it anyway oh my goddddd

jesus christ jesus christ “Dani had half crawled into Jamie’s lap, kissing her with a fierce and fervent heat” I am on deaths door

god they’ve both wanted this for so so so so long I can’t believeeeeee

(i am so thrilled that y’all just went there right away btw)

“Please, just - I just want to feel how I’m supposed to.” oucchhhh Dani

god her just... knowing. after one kiss w Jamie that she can finally do it and talk to him and end it and it’s so terrifying but goddd yes

“You think I can ever say no to you?” oof

“Ask,” Jamie breathed. “Ask me.” fucking fuck the power of this line oh my god Jamie is so fucking ready to jump of a bridge for her it’s- the dedication the love the longing the everything I am going insane is it too early to start drinking at 1pm

you’re not you can’t NOT THE CANON DINER SCENE

fuck this is like watching a car crash i can’t look away it’s so fucking visceral and nerve-wracking and painful

but god I’m so proud of her for finally saying what she wants

oh thank fuck y’all didn’t take him out with a passing delivery truck

“You must have known. You know me.” oh god this sentiment always kills me

“She couldn’t say it — the words ‘I’m gay’ forever out of reach — so instead she said, “I can’t.”” my whole body is on fire oh my god this is.... too fucking real

jesus christ the near miss w the truck are u trying to kill me (i actually kind of love that Dani will have to deal w her feelings w him face to face instead of having to bury it all in grief like in canon I am so excited to see how y’all handle that)

a fucking HOUR in the car dfkjghdfkjh the torture

oh honey. literally both of them suffering so much ouch

her favourite saucepan pls this is all so awful and sad but that make me laugh so much the poor confused little duck I am glad she has her comforts

god poor Dani

"Is she here to cook something?"  fgkjdhfkgjhfkjgdf

“No. I think you’re brave.” oh

“We’ll figure it out." listen listen I am undoubtedly losing my mind god this is soft

“She had spent so long being asked and not asking. Never asking. She never dared. To ask was to be known, to be made visible, words forging reality as surely as a smith’s hammer. And yet Jamie waited, letting Dani gather the courage herself.

"Can I -?" Dani said, "- stay?"” please fuck I am just so !!!!!!!! about Dani getting to know what she wants and having a fucking voice. just !!!!!!!!

“Jamie inviting her in” fucking just both of them finally getting some of that quiet courage w each other I am yelling so much

“Dani knew that it wasn't just her feeling this, that it had never just been her.” YOU’RE GODDAMN RIGHT BABEY

““But you do?” Dani asked. “Want to?”

Jamie’s answering laugh was brief and incredulous. “You have no idea.”” I AM: HOOTIN. AND: HOLLERIN

“I am here” hello? hello I am not coping I am on another plane of existence. DANI FINALLY FEELING SO PRESENT AND WHOLE IN THIS MOMENT

god they’re just holding each other i’m tearing up. Jamie is her home

Dani finally sleeping through the night ow my fucking heart

Mikey’s so chill about all of this sdkdhfdkj I love him

Jamie going out n buying her favourite jam... god the tenderness. love is stored in the strawberry jam and the hairdryer

hmmmmm her attraction to Jamie is so closely tied to a lot of really hard feelings this is gonna take a bit to work through huh???

aw Jamie going to Carson I am so happy she has her little band of gays to help her rn

I love that she can just kiss her now when she gets the urge like maybe chill out a lil just landing all these surprise kisses but like good for u girl. good for both of u

the warmth of the house hmmmmm I love that she’s found this esp because she is perpetually cold and Jamie is always warm but keeps it like that for the kid (and probably for Dani too) aaahhhh

cgjkdfhkjgh Dani is so thirsty poor Jamie trying to keep them in check. these moments are so fucking loaded holy shit

Dani Jamie and Mikey are the cuuutest lil family aw

god the tentativeness between them trying to figure this all out and the casual intimacy and just. all of it is so much and so beautiful to watch unfold

i love this little bubble inside Jamie’s house and Jamie kind of drawing the curtains around them both physically and metaphorically while she lets Dani figure things out and lets it settle between them

it’s all about the hands

oh my god Hannah instantly asking if she needs a place to stay she really is the best

soft little mornings with her Jamie like... once Dani finally defeats the ball of guilt in her chest there is so much goodness to look forward to and I am v glad she has that right now even as she is still struggling a bit. my girl needs all the sweetness in her life

also the idea of Jamie getting to wake up to sleeping Dani in her bed every morning after a lifetime of trying to repress her feelings... god

heh she’s already figuring out all the ways to push Jamie’s buttons god these two are going to have some fun w each other

this idea of learning the creaking floorboards of a new home is so... warm

Jamie leaving all the curtains drawn for her oh my heart keeping her safe keeping her safe

Nan would be so proud of ms Dani u know it’s true

awww Mikey comin home to keep her company

Mikey Dani time is always so sweet I love them

my god Dani n Jamie are so intense w each other and just so full of fucking desire... when those floodgates finally open will they even survive

oof Dani is dealing with soooo much ugh. Jamie always there with a gentle way to bring her back down to earth tho my hearrrtttt

“You’re allowed to be happy.” she is SHE IS ty Jamie Taylor voice of reason

a pinky promise to deal with everything together awwww

“why are you so good to me” “you know why” oh my goddddddd. that’s so soft that’s so gentle that’s so much love

Dani finding little bits in herself in media god i love this

Dani Mikey hours best hours

god Carson... sweet boy. And Judy sending over a whole bunch of food oof just. these quiet little reminders of their love for her. Dani’s about to go through a whole bunch more emotions huh?

fkjdfkjgfh Mikey going into protector mode when Carson is there pls i love hm

ohmy “our room” aaaaaaahhhhh

god Dani expecting him to be upset with her I am so fucking emotional. I relate far too much to Dani in canon and in this story and it’s just. painful as hell to see someone go through the things you know hurt the most holy shit

please Carson is so sweet and understanding and telling her he’s proud of her is making me cry so much I can barely see

this whole like.. uncomfortable but relief-filled kind of coming out between her and Carson is so so beautifully done I can’t stop fucking crying

“God, you two were agony to watch.”  fglkdfgkjdfhkjgh Carson a voice of the people

“You deserve to be happy.” - Carson and also me and also everyone reading this

god he is so wonderful!!!!!! this reminder that she’s not alone and everything will be ok!!!!!!! Carson I love you so much

the box being described as “the beating heart of their childhood“ god the imagery

Jamie so sweetly making room for her and welcoming her into a home I am emotional again the tears have really been unlocked now I’m gonna be a mess the whole rest of this chapter (i say as if I haven’t been already)

the really sweet way Jamie gets her to open up and trust her with the things that have been on her mind

and Dani doing the same for her god this gentle honest space between them makes my heart feel so full I am just so happy that they’ve got each other

“I want you to stay.” please (also now I’m thinking about AE putting Stay on her Jamie playlist jesus christ I am being tortured)

they get... to wake up.... in bed together. i’m so close to crying again when will this stop

i kind of love there hasn’t really been any like... just no more kissing u know but we still get this insane intimacy between them in a way that’s not them shying away from the way they want each other but so carefuly and sweetly and honestly coming towards each other

awww them always waking up all tangled is so cuuute (also Dani feeling so safe and comfy with her that her subconscious is like lets latch on she is good she is home)

lmao Dani having to mediate between these two dweebs and their playfights is so good

Jamie having her lil family surrounding her aww

(also i just noticed the rating change oh god)

sfkjfhdg Jamie looking at her hips all dark eyes and wanting we’ve all been there girl

“you can look” BOLD DANI MY BELOVED

god these two........ the grabbing her silver chain god @ google how to breathe properly??????

“Then show me.” oh my god

fkgjhdfkj so much electricity they shorted out the power

“this is just as nice” when they’re just hugging please they are so soft

i love that there’s just like... gentle soft banter between them in these quiet moments so much

“Dani, give him more homework.”  ghrfjkhjgkjgh

god the heated cheek kiss

this ‘game of chicken’ god they’re just.... really in it huh this is so fun

hmmm Dani going through the suitcases and sort of being able to bring some of herself/her past into this new place is so nice

heh this lil family and their snowfights are so cute

:( she can’t bring herself to eat Judy’s food

Jamie bringing her flowers oh soft

ugh they’re just so softly melting into being together it’s so sweeeeeeeet

“You’re lovely.” and the way Jamie just sinks into her with Dani’s fingers in her hair pleeease I am dying this is so warm

aaaahhhh they’re dancing soft soft soft

“gray eyes fluttered closed, as though the weight of Dani’s touch was too much to bear” god i am..... aaaahhhh

“a gentle calm settling within her. It had seemed that for all her life she had waited for the quiet of this” y’all this is so beautiful and lovely and wonderful and all the good things

ah that kiss. kinda feels like their first real kiss where they just get to be god I am so happy “a profound sense of finally” oh oh oh that’s such a pretty concept

god I love how much they just want each other that second kiss and them just all over each other is perfect and having to try and reel that in and being able to because they know it’s not going anywhere please it’s so so good

god Dani vs Desert Hearts I love this callback and the entirely different circumstances of her watching it again

dsjfhdkjfh oh no Dani losing her mind at Jamie touching her knee god these two have got the biggest storm coming

dfkdjhkgdjh god them like.... trying to take things slow but still letting things happen while having to be aware of Mikey is so funny but I kinda love it and how indicative it all is of them being so grown up and able to approach their relationship in such a mature way. as much as I wish they’d had their teenage love story I do like that it’s unfolding this way now.

“it struck Dani then that she couldn’t remember ever laughing while doing this.” aww

Mikey’s “oh gross” hahahaha poor kid

god this is so funny

“ferret kid” jamie why are u like this sfkjhdfkjf

oh lordt it seems we have reached the unabashedly horny phase good show ol’ chaps

god they’re still so soft tho this is so fun to read

i looove how flustered they both make each other w just their presence. it’s just so !!!!!!

lmao Dani knowing exactly what to do to drive Jamie insane is fdkgfdkjgh perfect amazing show stopping more neck kisses more teasing more barely restrained desire i love it

“the reckless rush of being in each other’s arms” AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

lmaooooo Mikey Jamie is going to lock you outside if u keep doing this

the fact it can just fade back to comfortable companionship too is like. ugh i love them together

“Yeah. You can touch me whenever you want.” oh jesus

“No more interruptions, no more waiting, no more holding back.” it’s happening god it’s happening everyone stay calm (also the slow build to this point has been so fucking perfect y’all are writerly geniuses)

lmao Dani is like please can we just get naked why do u want to watch a movie I am literally right here

oh she is not waiting anymore THAT’S MY GIRL GO GET EVERYTHING YOU’VE EVER WANTED I LOVE YOU

“What do you want?” god the tension

aaaaahhhhh just. them being so out of their minds with want but still all nervous and wanting to check in but still just. wanting this so much god this is *chef’s kiss*

lmao Dani already having the hair pulling thing figured out is so good. poor Jamie lol is she even going to survive this

god the fact they’re both still fully clothed n still getting this fucked up just making out n grinding on each other I love this for them

mum just came in to tell me dinner is ready I AM ALREADY EATIN GOOD

lmao fuck I am just... so thrilled for Dani finally getting to experience this get ur whole world rocked baby u deserve this

thumb in her mouth i-

“my idiot” pls that’s so soft

“You have me.” i know this is like. horny but it’s also so romantic sfgkjhdfkjg

ayoooo Jamie’s tattoo excuse me while I lose my mind a lil bit

my god Dani is so impatient to get her naked I love her for it so much “I just want to feel you”... ma’am

Jamie being all nervous is so cute aw

god having this lil moment where they just call each other beautiful n get all cute about it while they’re fully naked n grinding on each other.... perfection

god I can’t stop thinking about every other mention of Dani having sex w Eddie and it just being like adequate or like her not letting him touch her and now LOOK AT MY BABY GO SHE’S REALLY HAVIN THE TIME OF HER LIFE LITERALLY BEGGING TO BE TOUCHED LET’S GO LESBIANS LET’S GO

I feel like I’m like cheering Jamie on rn sfjkghdfkj u guys need anything? some snacks? a condom?? ur doing great!!

Dani crying and thanking her like this is an acceptance speech love that for her

Jamie kissing all over her face aww

I can’t believe this whole chapter is them just getting to fall in love for real

“I want to taste you” i am blushing goddamn Jamie get it

oh my god the dream. she’s literally living out her dreams

“that same focused intensity that could make kingdoms fall” I love that Jamie is just as into getting Dani off as Dani is getting off lmao GOOD FOR THEM

Dani: desperately tryin to get Jamie off. Jamie: are u sure u want to tho??? miss ma’am let the girl touch u already she deserves it (but i do love that she’s always just like.... never wanting to make Dani do anything she doesn’t wholeheartedly want to)

“You sitting here on top of me like this is doing more for me than you can imagine.”  iconic jamie moment

Jamie literally just like.... ‘you can do whatever you want to figure this out’ is so sweet I love her capacity for just. giving herself over to Dani in every way (not just the horny ones) to let her forge her own path

“It was easy to understand now, the exhilaration of it, why people went crazy for it.” god I love this for her so much everything just falling into place

they’re so soft n comfy together and it’s all just so right and lovely

i love that once they’ve started they basically can’t stop honestly get it girls u deserve all the orgasms

“When did you know?” “Sixteen years.” oof my heart she’s known the whole time aaahhhh. all these lil memories god it really was all out of love I could cry. and Jamie admitting the scarf/scar thing whew she really carried around that moment on her face for the whole world to see (also lol at Dani being so fixated on it this whole time that’s so perfect)

heh they’re so cute with their lil teasing banter exchange

lol goddamn this so so spicy I am just dfklghfjkdjghkjdf (that is to say well fucking done I can’t even speak rn)

Jamie just being like you could literally just look at me and I am turned on I... love this whole situation for her so much

god they’re really just going all in Dani is getting like the.... lesbian sex speed run amen

oh god not Karen on the phone just hang up Dani do it do it

god she is so evil

omg she told her abt Jamie go off Dani I am v v proud of u right now

and she hung up on her godbless babe i LOVE your audacity

heh Jamie so transfixed by Dani’s lil purple sweater and skirt I love her

Dani u are such a tease sfkgjdfkg good 4 u tbh

awwww she got Dani’s desk for her oh my god that’s so lovely

Dani n Jamie being entirely not subtle over dinner w their lingering glances and Carson just laughing at them fkjghdkfjgh i love it. he’s so happy for them even w his teasing aw

aaahhh i just love Jamie giving her this space and this room in the house and Dani feeling so right in it

oooh an almost “I love you” god they’re just fuckin u-haulin in love perfection huh

and now we’re back to horny hours love this for them. gotta bless that desk somehow huh!?

i love the mentions of all this soft stuff about belonging when they’re about to rail each other it really rounds it out emotionally

“Get on your knees.” OH MY GOD THE JAMIE ON HER KNEES REDEMPTION MOMENT IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING

HELL YEAH IT IS this is truly what we all deserve

oh my god literally ripping her clothes off her fuck i love how desperate they are for each other and just how into this they both are always

dfgkjdfh jesus Dani are u ever going to be able to get work done at this desk again after Jamie does.... all of this to u on it

“Good girl.” the single most powerful sentence in the lesbian language

jesus christ this is still so incredibly steamy sdflkhskhg it never ends. and them like.... experiementing a bit w some different um. approaches? lol good 4 them good 4 them (and us)

my god them instantly getting all soft after about making each other happy please they’re so dang cute

ok love that we are also getting Dani on her knees it’s equality.gif

this little “I like you” “I like you too” confession right now is... so fucking soft and like... after everything they’ve gone through they still have the power to kinda knock each other off their feet w lil things like this huh?? sappy lil shits

oh no Judy I am scared

holy shit Dani “Didn't think you'd love me anymore” owwww my heart

god Judy is such a good mama I love her so much. reassuring her she’s still a part of the family my god I am so emo. she loves her so much

aw I love this lil shared bathroom scene after so many awkward moments w Dani and Eddie in their bathroom and so many mentions of her fogged reflection. things are finally clear and it’s wonderful!!

lol Jamie well if u didn’t want Dani to get all horny u shouldn’t have worn suspenders!!!!! it’s simple math!

god Dani has changed so much this chapter which only takes place over a couple of weeks right?!?!? after so much anxiety and being so unsure of herself this is so fucking beautiful to see

stop the car thing oh my godddd. she doesn’t even care about having her own cause she’s so happy w the person she’s sharing with I’m so overwhelmingly happy

“You’re perfect.” please I will cry this chapter was so perfect (also so are the memes I cackled so much)

#bhah #lmao this is long as fuck #god this chapter was good I love everythng about it #we did it joe #lord what an experience

[deancaskiss]

Tinsel and Tourists Chapter Twenty Five (Epilogue)

Word Count: 2,281 (Here we are, y’all! The final chapter! I hope y’all enjoyed the story, and thank you for all the wonderful comments and likes/reblogs! 💙💚 Another long one, so the chapter is continued under the Read More)

Dean’s POV

Link to ao3 / Link to masterpost

Dean pressed the call button, heart leaping in his chest just like it always did. Cas answered on the second ring; deep voice instantly filling the phone’s speaker and causing Dean’s heart to kick up in his chest. A year later and Cas still had the same effect on Dean. Sam called it the honeymoon phase. Dean argued they were well past that at this point, having been together for an entire year, and yet Dean was still just as crazy about Cas; maybe even more head over heels for him.

“Hello Dean.” Soft and tender.

“God, hi handsome. Missed your voice,” Dean said, rubbing the tiredness out of his eyes.

“Missed you more,” Cas said. “I know you had to drop into radio silence for that case, but I swear that was the longest two days of my life.”

“Sweetheart, you have no idea,” Dean said, leaning against Baby’s hood, closing his eyes as Cas’ voice filled his ear. Unless he and Sam were on a case, Dean made it a priority to talk to Cas on the phone every morning and every night. And even two days without talking had felt like a lifetime without Cas.

"Are you okay? Did it go well? Are you hurt?" Cas rapid-fire asked. They were the same questions Cas always asked after a case when Dean called him, and he thought it would piss him off, but if anything, it just made Dean's heart clench tightly in his chest.

"I'm fine. Everything went well, as always. Couple minor scrapes and a cut on my forehead, but we took out an entire nest of vamps," Dean said.

"Proud of you," Cas said, so much tenderness in his tone that Dean felt dizzy with it. It was enough to have him stuttering for air; lungs tightening at Cas' genuine pride.

Too much attention on him, Dean quickly changed the subject. “Talk to me, Cas. Tell me what I missed.”

“I have one piece of good news, if you want to hear it?” Cas asked through the phone.

“You know I do,” Dean replied.

“I finally found a roommate, for when I move next summer for culinary school,” Cas said cheerfully.

“Still can’t believe you’re going to be so close. That you chose to go to South Dakota,” Dean said, almost wistfully. When Dean had helped Cas apply a few months ago, he’d never expected Cas to want to look at any schools outside of Vermont. But when he saw a brochure for one of the culinary schools in South Dakota, his stomach had flip-flopped and he’d forgotten how to breathe. It was only a few hours from Bobby's place in Sioux Falls, and Dean swore he'd never been so happy in his entire life.

"Think I made the right choice," Cas hummed. "Anyway, back to the roommate thing."

Dean felt his insides twist a little. Not like he was jealous. More like nervous. Nervous that he could lose Cas to some other guy. "Um- who is it? Someone I should be worried about?" Dean joked, even though his tone fell flat.

"Dean, I've already told you I'd marry you if you asked. And that's not something I take lightly considering my broken engagement in the past. But if you asked, I'd marry you in a heartbeat. That's how much I love you, Dean."

Dean let the words wash over him, reassurance and contentment burning a warm glow in his pocket. "Love you, too," he murmured quietly. "Alright, lay it on me. Who's your new roommate?"

"Well, it's someone who already has my heart," Cas said with a laugh.

"Are you deliberately trying to make me jealous?" Dean teased.

"Mmm, you are hot when you're jealous," Cas said, voice dropping into something breathy yet deep, making Dean shiver with desire. “But no, it’s someone you already know and love.”

Dean frowned. The list of people he loved was short, and it surely wasn’t Sam moving in with Cas. But before Dean could ponder it anymore, Cas spoke up again.

“It’s Libby!”

“Libby? But that means she would have to move, too,” Dean said, a little dumbfounded.

Cas laughed, full and bright. “The only reason she’s still in Evergreen is because of me. Plus, it’s not like it’s hard for her to find a half-and-half cook and waitress position anywhere in the country. So when I told her I still needed to find a roommate to pay for rent, she offered. She gave me that puppy dog pout-“

“Damn girl is impossible to say no to when she does that,” Dean agreed, having been on the receiving end of her pouts when she wanted something more times than he could count. He wasn’t sure when Libby had become part of his family too, but she had. Her and Sam were always up to something- whispering and laughing- sometimes even teaming up with Gabriel to cause mischief when he and Sam stopped over in Evergreen for a few days. Somehow, this rag-tag team of misfits had become family, and Dean adored every second of it.

“So? What do you think?” Cas asked carefully.

“About you and Libby living together? God Cas, why is that even a question you need to ask? I love it. Having you both that close to Bobby’s is a dream come true. More time spent with you between cases sounds like Heaven.”

Cas heaved a sigh of relief, and then there was quiet shuffling before a car door opened and then snapped shut.

"Whatcha doing, sweetheart?" Dean asked, perking up.

"I promised I'd help out with the last minute prep and decorations for the tree lighting tonight, since last year was so successful, " Cas said, more shuffling as he grabbed things from the bed of his truck. "Are you sure you won't be able to make it by tonight for the tree lighting?"

"We've only made it as far north as Pennsylvania," Dean said, trailing off. Not yet. Not yet. Just a few more seconds.

Cas sighed, a broken sound. "I-I really wanted my boyfriend here as my date. Since you were my date last year, even though we weren't together yet," Cas said quietly.

God. Dean knew it. He'd been planning for this. The memory of their double date- of their conversation on the rooftop and hot cocoa and their almost first-kiss under the mistletoe- was still fresh in his mind; one of the best days of his life.

"What if I didn't want to go to the tree lighting as your boyfriend?" Dean asked.

"Oh great. You suddenly embarrassed to be seen in public with me or something?" Cas asked, a sting of betrayal in his voice.

“What?” Dean asked in shock. “No, Cas! No. God, no! That’s not what I meant at all. Of course I’m not embarrassed to be seen in town with you. I was trying to be romantic… shit. Can I try that again?” Dean babbled.

“What are you even talking about?” Cas said through the phone, confusion weaving into his voice.

“What if I don’t want to go to the tree lighting with you as boyfriends? What if I want you to be my fiancé?” Dean asked, voice catching in his throat.

“Dean?” Cas asked breathlessly.

Now or never. Dean pushed himself off of Baby’s hood, stepping around the corner and onto mainstreet into Cas’ path.

“Surprise,” Dean murmured.

“Dean,” Cas gasped, dropping the string of lights in his hands and barreling into Dean’s arms; instantly melting into his embrace as their lips crashed together in a desperate kiss. “How? What? Dean, I-”

“Drove all night to get here. You really think I was going to miss the tree lighting?” Dean said, pressing the words against Cas’ mouth.

“Dean what’s- what’s going on?” Cas asked, pressing little kisses to Dean’s mouth as if he couldn’t stop himself from slotting their mouths together.

For just a second, Dean allowed himself to savor the kisses, brushing a hand over Cas’ jaw before pulling away. “What’s going on is this,” Dean said, leaning his forehead against Cas’ softly.

“Castiel Novak, you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’ve told you that a million times, but it’s never any less true. Any time I’m not with you, I ache for you. I spend every minute of every day desperate to get back to you. And when I’m with you, nothing else matters. You become- you are my everything. I’m so- God, I’m so achingly and desperately in love with you, Cas. My heart is yours. I’m yours, Cas, wholly and completely.

“You being my boyfriend… it’s been good. So good. I’ve never been- Cas, you make me happier than I’ve ever been in my whole life. I want… I want to make you mine in every way possible. I want a future for us, which is never something I thought I’d want or deserve.

“I want to call you my fiancé. My husband,” Dean said, as he slowly dropped to his knee. “So, Soon-To-Be-Chef-Castiel-Novak, the love of my life, please marry me?” Dean asked, pulling the box out of his pocket and showing Cas the silver ring inside.

Cas choked out a gasp, tears spilling down his cheeks, before he dropped down next to Dean, arms latching around Dean’s neck as he crashed their mouths in a breathtaking kiss. “Yes,” Cas said, word muffled against the hunter’s mouth as he kissed him. “Yes, yes, yes. Dean. Oh God. Yes a million times,” Cas gasped.

“Yes?” Dean asked, shock running down his spine as Cas’ words rang in his head.

Cas laughed, breathy and happy, and Dean couldn’t stop himself from kissing Cas again, just to feel that happiness pressed against his mouth.

“I told you on the phone ten minutes ago that I’d marry you if you asked,” Cas said, gummy smile absolutely blinding. “I love you. Dean, I love you. Hell yes, I want to be your husband,” Cas said.

Suddenly there was an applause and cheering behind them, and they broke apart to see Libby, Sam and Gabriel, phones out recording. “I may have told them I was proposing so they could capture the whole thing,” Dean admitted, pressing one, two, three fast kisses to the corner of Cas’ mouth.

“God, you’re something else, Dean Winchester,” Cas said with a laugh, the massive smile on his face so gorgeous it made Dean’s heart ache.

“Can I put this ring on your finger now?” Dean asked, fumbling to pull the ring out of the box.

“God yes,” Cas said, linking his hand with Dean’s and allowing him to slide the ring on.

As soon as the ring was snuggly on Cas’ finger, Dean brought Cas’ hand up to his mouth, pressing his lips to the ring. “Love you.”

“I love you. So so much,” Cas said. And then in a fast move, Dean was yanking them to their feet, arms settling around Cas’ neck as he pulled him close, chasing Cas’ mouth. They stood that way for a long moment, kissing soft and slow as the moon and stars twinkled above them.

When they broke apart, Dean rested his forehead against Cas’. “Thank you,” he murmured.

“What for?” Cas asked, tilting his head to bump his nose against Dean’s in a tender touch.

“For saying yes. For making me happy. For being you. For everything,” Dean said quietly.

“You’re such a sap,” Cas replied, even as he stepped impossibly closer, linking his arms around Dean’s waist.

“You guys are so sickening,” Libby yelled, earning a laugh from Cas and a good-natured middle finger from Dean.

“So, my fiancé. I’ve been on the road all day. Where’s my hot cocoa?” Dean asked, grinning broadly, fingers dancing up to tangle in Cas’ hair.

“Mmmm,” Cas pondered. “Come ice skating with me before the tree lighting and I’ll make you all the hot cocoa you want.”

Dean grinned. They hadn’t gone ice skating together since February, and Dean had been desperately trying to get back to Evergreen since November so he could go back out on the ice with Cas. The pair of ice skates Cas had customized for his Christmas present last year had a permanent spot in Baby’s backseat, where Dean could see them.

“Deal. As long as you don’t let me fall,” Dean teased.

“Too late for that. You fell for me a long time ago, Dean,” Cas shot back, smirking.

Dean couldn’t even deny that. And, as he moved to put the empty box back into his pocket, he remembered what he’d stashed in his other pocket. Slowly, he pulled the mistletoe out, letting Cas see it. “Call back to our first date,” he said with a smile. “Although, I don’t plan on leaving you under the mistletoe this year.”

The loved-up look on Cas’ face made Dean’s heart melt, and God, he truly couldn’t believe this man was his fiancé. Pressing into Dean’s space, Cas made a show of reaching into his own pocket, pulling out his own clump of mistletoe. “Was hoping to kiss you silly under the mistletoe, too,” Cas laughed.

“Well then,” Dean said, snagging the mistletoe from Cas’ fingers and holding both clumps over their heads. “C’mere and kiss me, my husband-to-be.”

Wrapped in each other’s arms, Dean kissed Cas under the mistletoe; heart thudding in his chest with the overwhelming love he felt for the beautiful man he got to call his. They kissed and kissed, and Dean never wanted the blissful moment to end. It felt like Heaven. It felt like coming home. Cas was his home.

Finally, with his fiancé’s lips pressed against his own, Dean was happy.

Tag List Part 1 Below- (please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed from the list!)

Tag List: @cas-deserved-so-much-more @hello-x-sunshine​ @bibelphegor​ @likepurplemuses​ @expectingtofly​ @neo-neo-neo​ @shadowywerewolfqueen​ @a-sweet-indisposition​ @feraladoration​ @xojo​

@oganizediguana​ @paintdriesfaster​ @adsp-destielcockles​ @destielangst​ @im-your-huckle-berry @justa-crayon​ @dea-stiel​ @superduckbatrebel​ @destielfactory​ @miluiel-erynion​

@y-yo-a-ti-cas67 @cockleslovesdestiel​ @toxic-nebula​ @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @enchantinghairdoherringwombat​ @proudace​ @galaxymysteryelephant​ @aelysianmuse​ @ramennoodles-dean-cas @you-changedmedean

@gmos-winter-wonderland @deansotherotherblog​ @trekkie24 @geo-val​ @dizzypinwheel​ @hermionevaldez9​ @gimmeprozac @iamsherlockedondoctorwho​ @dickspeightjrs​ @imbiowaresbitch​

@destielle​ @hopefuldreamers-world​ @organicpurplepants​ @dean-you-assbutt-cas-loves-you​ @shut-up-dean​ @sapphirecobalt-1​ @eshaninjer​ @spnobsessed50​ @mishka​ @holygoddessofvictory​​

@jayus-fandom-writer​​ @2musiclover2​​ @rainbowscas @bennedict​ @cassiecasyl​ @jensenacklesruinedmylife​ @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner​ @chaoticdean​ @destiel-trash-asf​ @tlakhtwritesdestiel​

@bri-winchester​ @50shadesofcockles @trasherasswood​ @spittingpagan @castielstolemyheart @becky-srs @phoenix13 @jiminthestreets-bonesinthesheets @deancasology @top13zepptraxx

@love-neve-dies @merry-things-do-happen-dean @tearsofgrace @thedirtytrenchcoat @a-porno-with-the-russian-mafia @on-a-bender @moi-the-bard @one-more-offbeat-anthem @naturallyathief @queen-rowenas

#dean winchester #castiel #deancas #proposal #hallmark

[sarcastically-defensive17]

Far away - P. Parker.

This is an overload of angst, inspired by - and named after - ‘Far Away’ by Nickleback (yes, I’m a nickleback fan, I’m sorry). There WILL be a part two.

No this was not requested, and the gif is not mine. I hope y’all like it!

Original story by sarcastically-defensive17

WARNING: the contents of this story may be triggering to some readers. This story contains: domestic arguing, mentions of familial death and guilt, mentions of violence, mentions of abandonment, pregnancy, Peter and Y/N both being bitches, and all round angst. Please do not read if this may cause you any offense or trigger you in any way

It had been near 2 months since she had seen Peter. In person, that is.

The relationship between Y/F/N and Peter Parker was an odd one. Best friends through middle school, they were like two peas in a pod. Inseparable to the point where Y/N was adopted as an honorary Parker.

In high school, tragedy struck both of them. Y/N’s mother left, divorcing her father and leaving for California. Ben Parker died, shot by a lawless mugger when he was out looking for Peter. Peter blamed himself. Y/N fell in with the popular crowd, looking for any chance to distract herself from her overwhelming anger. Peter became distracted, finding any and every excuse to escape school once he began an internship with Mr. Tony Stark. Peter and Y/N often vied for the attention of Liz Allen, their crushes on the woman making their anger with one another overflow whenever they were in each other’s presence.

In University, they reunited and decided to start over. One thing led to another and they quickly became lovers, with distance between.

Until she fell pregnant. 7 months into their relationship, she found out about the new life growing inside of her. She was ecstatic, but full of nerves. Peter was anxious, worried for his child and the woman he loved.

Life as Spider-Man was hectic. He grappled with the thought of her getting hurt because of him every day. He had seen the danger that had come to Pepper, what happened to Ben, Ned, almost everybody he held dear.

Her first trimester went by with a rocky start. Y/N fought with her own fears, wondering how she could be a mother when her own wasn’t there to teach her. Nevertheless, she loved peter. She gave her all to him, but he was distant, growing more so every day.

She didn’t want him to go. He had risked his life - and their relationship - far too many times in the past year. He knew it was a risk, he knew his life would be in danger every second he was undercover, but he still went.

Then Tony told him to go undercover.

She was in New York, about to hit her third trimester, and he was in Belgium, unaware of the life growing inside of her.

He broke the news to her of his undercover mission with Clint three nights before he left. That same day, he had missed their scheduled appointment to find out the sex of their baby.

To say there was an argument would be an understatement.

She had printed the picture up, gotten a card for him, and left it waiting on their shared bed for when he got home. Spider-Man was only half of his job, the other half was spent with incredibly long hours at the lab with Tony working on whatever their incredible minds could think of that day.

Sometimes she felt as if their relationship had been mostly made up of her waiting on him.

He had walked in the door, moving to gather his stuff together from the spare room they had in their apartment that housed his gear. They were set to turn it into a nursery.

He told her of the mission as soon as he walked in, immediately erasing the excited grin from her features.

“How long is it going to take?” She fought the nerves from building, knowing that the longest mission he had been on before had been two weeks. Tony told her when her and peter moved in together that Peter wouldn’t be expected to go on a mission any longer than that.

Peter sighed, grabbing a large bag. He had to head back for debriefing, and training before the mission began. He didn’t expect to be back home before he had to leave. He didn’t want to leave her, but he had came to terms with the fact that he was Spider-Man before he was Peter.

“I don’t know, Y/N. At least a month and a half-“

“You can’t go!” She interrupted.

Peter chuckled softly, paying no mind to her growing anger. “Yeah, I do. Clint and I are the only ones that can go unnoticed. Nobody has seen my face, and Clint has done so many undercover missions. He’s practically living a new life every month.” He hustled around the room once again, grabbing every box of spare cartridges for his web shooters. “After all, this is what I do.”

Y/N scoffed. Recently, he had been putting everything before his family. He missed their anniversary in favour of working on a new web formula with Tony. Her birthday was spent alone with nothing but a 10 minute phone call from him because he was on patrol. Now, he had missed the day they had both been looking forward to for months.

She didn’t want to be selfish, she loved him fiercely, but his child needed him too. Every time he left the house with his suit, she feared for his life. Now, she had the baby to think about too. It was about more than just her.

She tried to push down her feeling that he didn’t even want to be a father.

Peter rolled his eyes at her scoff. “Y/N. I’m Spider-Man. That means that I need to help people, not just be here when you want me to.”

“That’s not what it is, Peter!” She exclaimed, eyes widening at his words. “I’m due in three months!”

He rubbed his hand down his face, huffing. “Y/N, can you just stop? Please? I need to go, and you’re not going to stop me. This is my job. Tony and May are here.”

“I thought your ‘job’ was spending hours with Stark and forgetting that I exist,” she snarled, making quotation signs with her hands. Tensions had been high between them lately, the past two weeks turning their house into a war zone. She was sure her news would bring a happier note, but the news was all but forgotten at the time. “We are your family, Peter!

His eyes were blazing with anger, his bags in his hands as he slipped past her to the door. He spared a look at her swollen stomach, almost sadly.

“Peter!” She called after him as he ignored her, stomping through their apartment.

She tried a few more times, latching onto his hand as he got closer to the door.

“Please, don’t go. The last mission you were on, you came back with four broken ribs and a concussion. I can’t lose you, we need you,” he refused to look at her.

“You won’t lose me, y/n. I’m an adult, I don’t need you to babysit me. Enough, I need to go. This is about more than just you, so please cut the crap,” he sighed at her, anger pulling his brows down and crinkling his nose in the way she had memorized.

Y/N had struggled with trust issues since before her mother left, and she had used all of her courage to trust peter, but the anger and fear were too much, her mouth working without instruction. “Why don’t you just fucking admit that you don’t want to have a family, Peter? You’ve made it perfectly obvious that the baby means nothing to you!”

That set him off. “Grow the fuck up, Y/N. This may shock you, but this isn’t about you, for once! Don’t you ever say that I don’t want this child.”

She scoffed at him again, spitting, “you couldn’t even bother to fucking show up for the sonogram today. Our baby is fine by the way, not that it matters, obviously.”

His laugh was evil. “You’re so fucking perfect, aren’t you? I’m sorry that I have a job, unlike you. I fucking save people, every day. I don’t have time to hold your hand through fucking everything because you’re a narcissist!”

She was taken aback by his shout, her next words flying out without the filter between her brain and mouth coming into action. “You know what? Fine!” She shoved his arm away. “If you walk out that door, don’t fucking bother coming back. You don’t care that we need you here, so don’t even bother being apart of this.”

“You’re kicking me out because I’m going on a mission?” His laugh was sarcastic, almost full of disbelief. “You really are selfish, Y/N.” He wrenched the door open with his free hand, not bothering to kiss her like he always did before a mission. No further words were exchanged, only a longing glance at her stomach and a fleeting look in her eyes.

She was left in the quiet apartment.

She trudged to their room - her room, now - fighting the tears threatening to fall. The photo of their baby was sitting carefully on the bed right next to the card.

The dam broke, tears streamed down her face and sobs ripped from her chest.

She picked up the photo of herself and Peter from when they announced their pregnancy. He was on his knees in front of her, hands on either side of her small bump, smiling brightly with love in his eyes, and she was looking at him the same way.

She flung it against the wall, watching the glass shatter from the frame and fall to the ground.

She pulled the card up from its spot, reading over the words inside.

‘I have loved you all along, Peter. Thank you for beginning this journey with me. We’re so far from where we began.

I know that our little girl will be as perfect as you are.

All my love, Y/N.”

The two months has passed agonizingly slow. Her heart wrenched each day when she woke to an empty bed. Their baby grew steadily, now a month away from making her entrance.

Her new routine had been to watch the news every morning before her daily run. Her work hours had decreased, but she filled her schedule to clear her head, in order to stop the pain.

She hadn’t spoken to peter since he left, she barely even knew where he was.

Jedd Walters was on the news, his booming voice echoing through her house as she watched from the kitchen.

“This just in,” his voice grew more urgent. “After months of being undercover, we are saddened to report that beloved Avengers, Spider-Man and Hawkeye are missing after a KGB detonated bombing brought down the building they were in. After two days of searching, neither man has been found, but many Belgium citizens have been wounded, with no casualties as of yet. More information will come available as the story progresses.”

The scream that tore from her throat was full of pain, and the tears that fell from her cheeks burned.

Tag list: @starshonerose @another-lonely-heart @mantlereid @snookiebrookie @theanswertoeverythingisl0v3

#peter parker angst #peter parker x reader #Tom Holland #Tom Holland x reader #alternate universe #pregnancy #angst #did I mention angst? #marvel #spiderman mcu #Spider-Man #tony is alive bitches #my baby won’t be dead unless I say so #sarcastically defensive17

[writing-of-a-british-bitch]

Blame Me - Chapter 5

Fandom: The Walking Dead

Specified gender: Female

Word Count: 12K

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x reader,

TW: Canon typical violence, canon divergence, gore, murder, mention of past child death, mention of major character death (OC), Daryl and Aaron bonding time, Daryl and y/n bonding time, major character death

Genre: Horror ig?

Series: Blame Me

Requests: CLOSED

Masterlist

A/N: Okay, this is probably my least favourite chapter, but I can’t wait to write the next chapters. Chapter 6 and 7 are gonna be painful y’all so good luck. Enjoy!

<i>Daryl was quiet, Beth noticed. He was always quiet, but not like this. He hadn't been like this since after he'd lost his girl. Not that anyone knew that except for his asshole older brother. Beth was worried, about everyone, but right now, she was worried for Daryl most of all. Any time he <b>did</b> open his mouth, something sarcastic, cold or cynical came out. It wasn't like him. Maybe in the early days, but definitely not now. He couldn't stop thinking about everyone they'd lost. Not just at the prison, everyone they'd lost along the way. Even who he'd lost before. He didn't have much to lose before, but the people he had, were everything. She was everything. But she was gone. Probably dead. He was just holding out hope on another pipe dream. But even despite that, he couldn't bring himself to remove his ring. The cool metal almost burnt his skin whenever he thought about her, or anyone else he'd lost. Like a reminder of his failure. Since the prison had fallen, every day with Beth felt like a blur.

He shouldn't dwell on it, he knew that, but he couldn't help but wonder how many people died. How many people got out. If anyone other than him and Beth did. Part of him thought that it didn't matter.  Hershel was dead because he didn't kill the Governor when he had the chance. He owed it to the vet to protect his daughter. And somehow, that had ended up with them in some old shed, something similar to what he and Merle would have lived in once upon a time, in the middle of the woods. Somehow, he'd ended up playing a dumb game, like some damn teenagers. At least Beth wasn't too far off. He took a sip of the moonshine as she started explaining, clearly slightly tipsy from her first-ever drink.

"So first, I say something I've never done and if you have done it, you drink, and if you haven't, I drink. Then we switch. You really don't know this game?" Beth raised her eyebrows in surprise, not deterred by his so-called "intimidating" stare. Daryl moved the hand that was in front of his face, shifting his position slightly.

"I never needed a game to get lit before."

"Wait, are we startin'?" She asked, and while her face stayed the same, Daryl picked up on the teasing lilt in her voice, eyes shining slightly.

"How do you know this game?" He questioned, using his pinky to point at her

"My friends played. I watched," She shifted slightly before lightly shaking her head "Okay, I'll start. I've never shot a crossbow. So now you drink."

Daryl reached forward to the glass of water and lifted it to his mouth, looking just as unamused as before "Ain't much of a game."

"That was a warm-up. Now you go," Beth insisted but Daryl just stared back at her for a second, shrugging.

"I don't know."

"Just say the first thing that pops into your head," She shot back with a small smile. Plenty of things popped into his head, but they were too personal to share with Beth. Too much about his girl. He didn't know if he was ready to tell her yet. Daryl knew Beth wouldn't care, not really, but just thinking about her made his brain and chest hurt. An aching he couldn't get rid of.

"I've never been out of Georgia," Was the answer he settled on. He was gonna leave Georgia, right after his hunting trip. Leave early, fly to South Carolina and surprise (Y/N) and her ma. But it never happened. Dead made sure of that. Beth's eyebrows rose slightly. He was an outdoorsy guy, a hunter. She thought he'd have been all over.

"Really? Okay, good one. I've never... been drunk and did somethin' I regretted," She stated after taking a sip of her drink. Beth knew she was starting to push the line slightly. Knew his fuse was slightly shorter after the prison. But he didn't bat an eye, just reached forward and had a drink.

"I've done a lot of things," He replied, keeping his gaze on the table. Yeah, like leave his girl behind. Didn't even go looking. What kind of husband didn't even try to find his wife when the world ended? "I never been on vacation."

"What about campin'?" Beth questioned but Daryl shook his head immediately.

"No, that was just something I had to learn to hunt," Because, his family were shitty people, and didn't even think to go looking when he went missing as a kid. Not that he added that.

"Your dad teach you?" She asked, and she knew that the line was getting toed here. She'd never asked about his dad, but from interactions she'd overheard with Daryl and Rick, sometimes Carol or even Carl, their relationship hadn't been pretty. Daryl released a hum of agreement.

"Alright... never have I ever been in love," Beth said, and she saw Daryl's eyes flicker down to the ring she still wore from when she was still with Jimmy. She didn't really expect much, but it was the only thing that came to mind.  His eyebrows furrowed slightly, bristling at the implication behind her words, and he found himself spinning his own ring with his thumb, absentmindedly.

"The hell ya implyin'" He snapped, eyes narrowing slightly, and Beth looked slightly alarmed by how defensive he got and how quickly. She'd seen his explosive temper before but she'd never been at the brunt of it. But Daryl didn't back down, even as she showed him her scared eyes. The damn girl had no right prying. He'd played her stupid ass game, given her some stupid ass answers. But then, he swore he saw (Y/N) in the corner, giving him that disapproving look that made him swallow any anger he'd had right up, and he looked to the floor, taking a second to breathe.

"Ya ain't ever been in love?" It was clear Daryl was asking about Jimmy and Zach. His brain wandered to Zach, asking him every day without fail about what he did before the apocalypse; getting bitten on the way out of that store; getting crushed by the helicopter. Having to deliver the news to beth, who didn't even react.

"I loved Jimmy sure, but I wasn't in love with him. Zach neither. Meant a lot to me, both of 'em but, never loved 'em like that. I only married Jimmy because I thought we were the last ones left," Beth explained, and to anyone else, it would have sounded cold. But Daryl understood. This world did weird shit to your brain, and it didn't surprise him that she'd latched to Zach and Jimmy. While he was thinking, Beth watched his expression. She noticed the look of despair that crossed his face quickly, and how it hardened a second after. And finally, after over a year of them being in the group together, she saw his ring, as he brought his arm to rest on his knee so his other hand could twirl it. He hadn't even noticed he'd done it. He bit his lip, deep in thought, before he looked up and saw Beth's expectant eyes.

"Did you have to kill her?" If that didn't get under his skin he didn't know what would. No disapproving look from his not-there wife could stop the rage bubbling in his chest. It boiled up his neck, to his face and he just knew he'd gone slightly red. Almost immediately, he saw regret on Beth's as he stood up.

"I'm going to take a piss," Daryl snarled, picking up one of the empty jars on the table and smashing it as he made his way over to the corner of the room. He heard Beth's breath hitch in a suppressed gasp of surprise.

"You have to be quiet!" Beth hissed, and that only pissed him off more. He knew there were walkers outside, knew he was being stupid, but she'd started prying. Drunk or not, she'd gone too far and he'd had enough.

"Can't hear ya! 'M taking a piss!" He yelled back, to which Beth shot back some response about being quiet, as he unzipped and started doing his business "What, are ya ma chaperone now?"

Daryl zipped himself back up but didn't bother to do his belt up, and it clanked against his button. He knew this would be a good place to drop it since she had gone silent, but she'd taken a dig at him. One way too personal. One that involved <b>his</b> family. One she had no business in. So he whirled around, voice much louder than it should have been.

"Oh, wait. It's my turn, right? I've never-never eaten frozen yoghurt. Never had a pet pony. Never got nothin' from Santa Claus," He slammed his hand against the cluttered table he stood next to, as the emotions that had built up over the past few days finally poured out. Beth looked scared, but there was anger dwelling behind her eyes too "Never relied on anyone for protection before. Hell, I don't think I've ever relied on anyone for anything."

Daryl had started pacing, and he narrowed in on the blonde, tone sharp and cold. He knew he was lying at that point. True, he'd never relied on anyone for protection. But he'd relied on his girl for so much that he didn't even know where that list started or ended. She just swam in his head, and she could see those disapproving eyes again. Normally they were directed at Merle, but now they were directed to him, real or not, it stung being at the end of her contempt. And that only pushed him over the edge. Beth tried to stop him with a call of his name, but now he'd begun there was little that would stop him.  

"Never sung out in front of a big group out in public like everythin' was fun. Like everything was a big game. Never got to say goodbye to ma wife. Never got to know if she was alive, dead, turned, murdered. I sure as hell never cut my wrists looking for attention," Beth didn't flinch when he brought up her failed suicide attempt. But when he mentioned (Y/N), that sad look was there again, and the anger in her eyes faded.

Daryl hadn't meant to say it, but he was so furious, so sad, so frustrated, so mad at the world, that it had slipped out, in a rare moment of vulnerability. He sprung the walls back up as soon as he'd let them down.

A crashing at the door and the growling of walkers made his head snap to the door, so fast he swore it should have snapped. And he couldn't stop. The seething, burning feeling was eating him up.

"Oh, sounds like our friend out there is trying to call his buddies," He tripped over the pans and pots and various other shit on the floor, making way too much noise. If he wasn't so angry, he would be cursing himself out now. He was sure he'd do that later.

"Daryl, just shut up," Beth begged through gritted teeth, but Daryl just turned around and pointing, a sharp smile playing on his lips. If Merle were here, he'd tell him he looked just like their Daddy. And he did, as much as he hated it. If his girl were here, she would be screaming at him. by now. She would have stopped him by now. But they were both gone. Just like everyone else.

"Hey, you never shot a crossbow before? I'm gonna teach you right now. Come on," Before he'd fully processed what he was doing, Daryl had grabbed Beth's arm, dragging her to the door and kicking it open. "It's gonna be fun."

"We should stay inside! Daryl, cut it out! Daryl!" She protested, screaming out as she tried to fight out of her grip but he wouldn't let her go.

"Dumbass. Come here, dumbass," Daryl whistled and the walker stumbled over, before he put a bolt in its shoulder, pinning it to the tree behind it. "You wanna shoot?"

"Daryl, I don't know how!" She exclaimed, fighting as Daryl pulled her in front of him, holding her in place with one hand as he got ready to shoot with the other.

"Oh, it's easier. Right corner," A bolt landed in the walker's leg and Beth finally broke free, turning around to face the redneck as he stepped away slightly, so he could pull the string back into place.

"C'mon it's fun," He was being fueled by unbridled rage and adrenaline now. A tiny voice in the back of his mind, that sounded suspiciously like Rick told him he'd regret this later but he pushed it away. Instead, he pulled Beth back into the previous position and shot the walker right where it's dead, rotting heart was.

"Kill it!"  Daryl let go again as he stormed ahead to the walker.

"Come here, Greene. Let's pull these out. Get a little more target practice," Beth had decided that was enough, and with an annoyed huff, she sped ahead of Daryl to plant her knife into the walker's forehead "What the hell you do that for? We was having fun."

"No! You were being a jackass! If someone found your wife-" She growled back, and Daryl's glare burned into her but it didn't deter her, even as he got right into her face.

"Don't. That ain't remotely the same," Daryl shot back, rage burning through every vein, every organ, every muscle. But Beth knew she'd gotten to him, even if it was just a little bit.

"Killin' them ain't supposed to be fun!" She said, her own eyebrows coming into a glare and Daryl stepped even closer.

"What do ya want from me, girl?"

"I want you to stop acting like you don't give a crap about anythin'! Like nothin', we went through matters. Like none of the people we lost meant anythin' to you. It's bullshit!" Beth finally yelled back, frustration making tears build behind her eyes but that only seemed to rile Daryl up more, even if it had been toned down. Didn't give a shit? She really thought he didn't care? He'd damn near died for his people. He'd killed for his people and she thought he didn't give a shit?

"Is that what you think? Huh?" The only thing he could think as he heard himself were the words he'd said to his brother years ago, that was coming back to bite him in the ass. You really are our Daddy's son.

"That's what I know," Her words were instant, and Daryl could tell from her tone that they'd been building up for a while. But his mouth moved before his brain could fully process the thought.

"You don't know nothin'," He hissed, looking away for a second, as his voice wavered slightly.

"I know you look at me and you just see another dead girl. I'm not Michonne. I'm not Carol. I'm not Maggie. I've survived and you don't get it 'cause I'm not like you or them. But I made it and you don't get to treat me like crap just because you're afraid," Hell, if that didn't make him stop. His chest heaved as she spoke, his body taking a moment to recover from the anger that had made him shake. Been a while since he'd been that pissed off. But those final words, made his eyes narrow again, just as they'd softened.

"I ain't afraid of nothin'," Daryl stated, leaning in again. Beth had a look in her eye, telling him she didn't believe him. And she was right. He was scared every damn day. Every single damn time he thinks he's the most scared he'll ever be, some new herd, some new asshole, some new loss takes its place.

"I remember. When that little girl came out of the barn after my mom. You were like me," Daryl couldn't meet her eyes. He had been like her once. When he left for a hunting trip he never came back from. Then, he got stuck with his piece of shit older brother and became that asshole again. Then his brother was gone, and he had a new family. He wasn't who he had been with (Y/N), didn't know if he ever would be like that again, but it had been a start. Until the governor took that from him too "And now God forbid you ever let anybody get too close."

Every time someone got close, they died. Or put at great risk, or went missing, or got bit.

"Too close, huh? Ya know all about that. Ya lost two boyfriends, ya can't even shed a tear. Yer whole family's gone, all ya can do is just go out lookin' for hooch like some dumb college bitch," It was a low blow, but he was so drunk, so angry, he was struggling to get his words out like they were getting stuck in his throat.

"And your wife is gone and you don't say shit! Your brother died and you closed off! At least I talk about the ones I've lost instead of pretendin' like nothin' happened or like they didn't exist!" She snapped back, and the second the words left her mouth, she looked like she wanted to take them right back. Daryl stopped right there, frozen like a deer in headlights before turning around. Beth tried to reach for him but he shrugged out of her touch.

"Y'ain't got the right," He huffed out, the last of his anger dissipating, and he felt that void opening up again. The one that haunted him anytime he thought about his wife for too long. His shoulders deflated, and his gaze fixed on the back of the shed they'd found. Beth was hovering behind him, he could feel it. "The Governor rolled right up to our gates. Maybe if I wouldn't have stopped looking. Maybe 'cause I gave up. That's on me."

"Daryl-" Beth tried again, sympathy lacing her voice but he just shook her off once more. She watched as his shoulders tensed, and she prepared for him to rip into her again but instead, they started shaking lightly. Everything was crashing down on him all at once and he couldn't shake the thought of his girl alone, trying to survive on her own. Or his girl, eyes milky white and lifeless, feet dragging and body acting like dead weight as her pale, rotting skin peeled off.

"And ma girl? Maybe I could've done somethin'. Maybe I could've helped her," His voice cracked, the emotions finally crashing over him in a wave, and this time he didn't stop Beth as she wrapped her arms around his middle, head pressed against his back. He didn't stop the tears or the sobs that escaped him.

"I get why my dad stopped drinking," Beth's voice broke the peaceful silence that had fallen between them. Crickets and the wind brustling the trees were the only sounds as Daryl looked over to her, sat on the porch in the pale moonlight.

"Ya feel sick?" He asked, twirling his knife on the wooden panels beside him, glancing over dark eyelashes.

"Nope. I wish I could feel like this all the time. That's bad," She responded. Her hands were playing with the loose threads on her jeans, and she had this happy look in her eye. Too happy, but he didn't say anything. Not this time.

"Yer lucky yer a happy drunk," Daryl felt that stab of guilt again, as he thought back to the argument earlier. The one he could've dropped, but instead he blew it out of proportion and turned into Merle. Into his daddy.

"Yeah, I'm lucky. Some people can be real jerks when they drink," Beth gave him a pointed look, eyebrows raised slightly, but there was a small smile on her face.

"Yeah, 'm a dick when 'm drunk," He stabbed his knife into the wood and he let out a small huff before reluctantly opening his mouth again "Merle had these biker friends. Real buff, stern assholes. Didn't give a shit 'bout nobody but themselves. One day, he dragged me along with 'em to this back alley bar. Real dodgy place. Was barely 10 and we were all wasted. Merle was high. There was this girl with her friend and the guys wouldn't stop runnin' their mouths. Especially Merle. Never knew when to quit. Turns out, girl had heard everythin' they'd been sayin' 'bout her and her friend. She comes stormin' over, face red, lookin' pissed as all hell and starts gettin' in this guys face. Merle decides it's a good idea to grab her ass, and she goes for him, punches him right in the eye. Gave him one hell of a shiner."

Beth let out a small giggle as she took a sip of her moonshine and Daryl's lips quirked up slightly. His fingers worked to spin his ring around again and again and she watched it with a glimmer of shock that still hadn't faded away.

"I tried gettin' between and she shoved me away. But one of Merle's buddies, he don't like that. So, he pulls out his gun and raises it over ma shoulder to her face, right here," He points to the gap between his eyebrows, watching as Beth's own eyebrows rose "And this bar goes dead silent. C'aint hear a damn thang, but she just glares back. His buddy starts threatenin' her, sayin' how he's gonna do all these things to her and she don't say anythin'. Just looks back at him. All that because she stood up for herself," Daryl couldn't help but smile at the memory, despite how much it had freaked him out at the time. Only time he didn't get pissed at someone for hitting his brother. Fool deserve it.

"How'd she get out?" Beth asked, leaning forward slightly like she was on the edge of her seat.

"Managed to get between 'em. Guy punched me in the gut. I puked. They all started laughin' and started patting her on the back. 'Balls of steel', Merle said to her. She thanked me for gettin' between them and asked how I was. Walked her and her friend back to her car. And I don't know if she was tipsy or what, but she asked ma name. Asked if we could have a new introduction 'nother day or somethin. You want to know what I was before all this? I was just drifting around with Merle... doing whatever he said we were gonna be doin' that day. I was nobody. Nothin'. Some redneck asshole and an even bigger asshole for a brother. Got better when I met her. (Y/N) made us better," Daryl's eyes flittered down to his ring this time, looking at the grime and dirt that accumulated and pulled it off to wipe it on his shirt.

"You miss him, don't you? I miss Maggie. I miss her bossing me around. I miss my big brother Shawn. He was so annoyin' and overprotective. And my dad. I thought- I hoped he'd just live the rest of his life in peace, you know? I thought Maggie and Glenn would have a baby. And he'd get to be a grandpa. And we'd have birthdays and holidays and summer picnics. And he'd get really old. And it'd happen, but it'd be quiet. It'd be okay. He'd be surrounded by people he loved. That's how unbelievably stupid I am," Tears had formed in Beth's eyes, but she laughed through them. But she couldn't shake that image of her Dad, the governor stood behind him.

"That's how it was supposed to be," He grumbled. Beth was naive, but she wasn't blind. She could tell he wasn't talking just about her dad. He was talking about the life he had with his wife, a life he could have had. The life he deserved to have. Subconsciously, she couldn't help but be slightly jealous that she never had something like that.

"I wish I could just... change," Beth responded after a pause, and Daryl's eyebrow raised, slightly confused.

"Ya did."

"Not enough. Not like you. It's like you were made for how things are now. Sounds like ya girl was too."

He didn't say anything, biting his cheek lightly as he slid his ring back on. It was his comfort, she was his comfort. Maybe she was still out there. Maybe.

Maybe she was dead in a ditch. </i>

It still felt like a dream. He was still sure that if he gave himself a hard pinch she'd disappear right from his grasp. Everyone had dispersed thanks to Aaron and Carol's shepherding, but Daryl didn't miss the way (Y/N) watched after Carl and Judith, like she was scared something would happen. She didn't let go of him, not for another few minutes, that felt like seconds to him, and he would never complain. It didn't feel real.

There would be questions later, enough to bombard them back into hiding. He didn't care. Nothing mattered. She was here.

Eventually, Daryl managed to clear his head enough to pull her into the house his family had now evacuated out of. It felt alien, holding her again. Seeing her. Actually seeing her, not imagining her in some drunk or fear-induced frenzy. They were huddled together, in the corner Daryl had taken the night before. He couldn't let go, not now. There was something different about her. She'd changed. The apocalypse did that to you, he supposed but, this was different. There was guilt like she was hiding something from him. She'd done something, and he wanted to find out what it was.

"How the hell'd ya get here?" He asked, voice low and a grin rose on her face, which made his eyebrows furrow in confusion "What?"

"Ain't nothing. Just didn't think I'd hear your voice again," (Y/N) responded, her grin widening when he took her hand and started playing with her ring. "I was with mom when it started. Started travelling down to Georgia to find you and Merle. Met some people along the way."

She suddenly went quiet, her smile falling, and Daryl knew that look. Seen it on everyone's faces after camp; saw it on Carol, Beth, Maggie and Hershel's faces after the barn, Glenn and Maggie after the governor, Beth's after the prison; Rick, Carl and Michonne's the night with the claimers; everyone's after Terminus; Sasha and Gabriel after Bob and Tyreese. His, Maggie's and Glenn's after Beth.

"What happened?" If anyone else had walked in, they'd probably have never believed it was his voice. He didn't believe it. Merle would be giving him hell for it. Her eyes darted to his, and her grip on his hand tightened.

"There were this married couple, Andrew and Oliver, and their kid, Anna. Real sweet, curious. Never wanted to leave me and the other leader Kai alone. Some twins, Danica and Ben. Danica and Andrew were hotheads, reminded me of Merle, just less bigotted," They shared a chuckle at that. Daryl didn't need to say anything to her for her to know her brother-in-law was gone. She'd seen it on his face when she mentioned him earlier. After all this time, she could still read him like a book. "Kai was my best friend. Felt like a sibling. They were military, stopped me and mom from going into the city. We were gonna keep looking for you but Anna got sick. Really sick. For three weeks, we went out looking for medicine and she'd go through it in days."

Hell, he'd almost forgot about the disease that spread through the prison. Nearly killed Glenn. Awful as it seemed, it didn't that important anymore. Pretty much everyone that was sick died to the governor anyway. Didn't matter. Not really

"When she didn't get better, her dad's asked me to put her down. I was going to do it in the evening, in case she passed, but I decided to wait until morning. Died in her sleep. Turned quickly. We lost Andrew and Danica," Daryl squeezed her hand but she didn't respond. Her eyes were unfocused, but he saw the sadness flickering in them. The shame and guilt. That's why she was watching Carl and Judith earlier. "We were in the woods for a while. Me, mom, Andrew, Kai and Ben, lived that old Dixon lifestyle," She teased, in a poor attempt to lighten the mood. But he saw past it. She was holding something back to stop him from worrying.

"Then what?" She just shook her head, and Daryl pulled her in, tucking her head under his chin again. Not yet. He'd wait as long as she needed. They didn't need words for him to understand. (Y/N) let out a small sigh of contentment and Daryl resisted a smile. He'd lost hope in finding her. Thought he'd never get to hold her like this again. And before he knew it, he was telling her everything. But when he got to Terminus, she froze and pulled back.

"You were at Terminus?" (Y/N)'s voice was laced with concern and confusion, and it took Daryl half a second to connect the dots. His eyebrows rose into his hairline, which made (Y/N) laugh slightly."I was there for three days. Fuckers tried to kill me but I put up a fight. That freak Gareth locked me in a room so I didn't 'scare the newcomers'. An explosion and some walker's guts got me out."

"Ya gotta be shittin' me, right?" Daryl laughed, genuinely laughed, and he swore he'd never seen so much elation on his girl's face. "Carol set off that explosion, got us out."

(Y/N) leant her forehead on his shoulder, smiling at the ridiculousness of the situation. The whole time, he thought she was so far away, or that she was gone, or dead, or bitten but she was right fucking there at Terminus. If he'd paid more attention, maybe he could've found her. Fucking idiot.  

"Hey, where ya goin'?" Daryl asked, catching (Y/N)'s arm as she started to climb out of the sleeping bag they'd been sharing. It'd taken a while for Daryl to convince the group to let her stay with them. They didn't trust her, and he couldn't blame them, but he wasn't going to be separated from <i>any</i> of his family. Neither her nor them. Eventually, Rick had nodded, despite Sasha and Abraham (mostly - Rosita and Carl hadn't exactly been happy about it either).

"Aiden and Nicholas want to take Glenn, Tara and Noah on a dry run, I gotta go with them to make sure they don't do something dumb," (Y/N) replied, pulling on her jumper but Daryl narrowed his eyes slightly.

"Careful, (L/N), that's ma family yer talkin' 'bout," He shot back, sharper than he wanted. However, she was taking a dig at his family when she barely knew shit about them. She just chuckled and rolled her eyes, coming closer to press a kiss on his forehead.

"Not your family, dummy. Nicolas and Aiden. They both hate me because I called them careless. Among other things. And they are. They don't know anything about life out there. If these walls hadn't come up when they had, those boys would have died long ago. Almost everyone here would have," She replied. He watched her carefully, giving her a look that she couldn't recognise. He was still getting used to this new version of her. Trying to get to know her again.  She wasn't that different, not really, but she was slightly colder towards others and seemed to have a shorter fuse where unbreakable patience used to be. Well, unbreakable unless you were Merle. Some undying rage never left her eyes.  She was still her old self, but she'd changed. It made him wonder what she'd been through. What she wouldn't tell him the day before.

"Why'd ya stay if this place ain't secure?" Daryl asked, pulling her slightly closer. Then he saw it. That look flashed across her face. It was gone almost as soon as it came, but he'd caught it. Guilt was ripping through her, despite how much she hid it. Why was she guilty? What was she hiding?

"Why'd you?" (Y/N) responded quickly, and even with this new version of her, he still knew her well enough to know she was changing the topic. And she did too, as evident from her heavy sigh. "I had a promise to keep."

There was more to it than that, Daryl could see it so clearly it was practically slapping him in the face. But he knew pushing wouldn't get them anywhere.

"People here are weak. Carol and the kid think it too. Hell, I do.  Glad yer goin' with 'em," He gave her a quick kiss, running his thumb over her ring. "Keep an eye on 'em for me."

"Of course," (Y/N) smiled back, and from the surprise on Deanna's face when she walked in to check on them, not that he'd cared enough to notice at first, it wasn't something that had happened often while she was here.

"And you keep yourself safe, ya hear?" Daryl demanded, and while it was firm, (Y/N) saw the glimmer of fear in his eye. Can't lose her again. The words went unspoken but she heard them. A hard squeeze of his hand and a kiss on the cheek, and she'd wandered out the door, Glenn, Tara and Noah trailing close behind.

Time seemed to drag out while they were gone. It'd been around an hour, and he knew it shouldn't be too much longer before they returned. It was only a dry run. He'd finally showered, if only for his girl's sake than anyone else's, and he couldn't stop pacing. Carol had tried to employ his help, but he shut her down. With no news on a job from Deanna, Daryl couldn't stop himself from getting lost in his thoughts and drowning in his worries. His girl had said that the boys were careless. What if that cost her? What if him asking her to protect his friend meant she did something stupid? What if she didn't come back? What if he lost her again? For good, this time?

His worries were cut in half when the creaking and scratching of the gate broke through the air and he immediately jogged from his place on the porch to the gates, seeing the group come back in. They all looked pissed, and none of them more than (Y/N). She was walking in front of Glenn almost protectively, and he just knew something had gone wrong.

"You three need new gigs, you're not ready for runs yet," Aiden snapped from behind, making the four turn on their heels. Daryl felt himself moving forward when Aiden got close to (Y/N) and started pointing "And I'm gonna talk to my mom about getting you a new job."

"Yeah, pretty sure you got that backwards," Glenn shot back and (Y/N) gave him a grateful look. They set off again but were pulled back by Aiden grabbing both her and Glenn's arms.

"Hey, we've got a way of doing things around here," Aiden tried, making a poor attempt of establishing his authority, which deflated when she scoffed.

"Yeah, ones you don't tell me about apparently," She grumbled. There it was. That short fuse. That undying rage. Daryl slowed to a stop as more people started to gather at the noise. She looked over to him, telling him with a glance that he might have to step in if it got too far.

"You tied up walkers," Glenn shot back, and that set Aiden off. Nicolas bounced between each foot awkwardly, like he didn't know what to do with himself.

"It killed our friend!"Aiden shouted "Look, I'm not having this conversation. You obey my orders out there."

"Not when they put our people in danger," (Y/N) stepped closer, almost chest to chest with Aiden, and Daryl smirked slightly. That was his girl.

"If that's the case, we're just as screwed as your last run crew," Glenn agreed, putting a hand on (Y/N)'s shoulder to get her to back off. They shared a look, and she reluctantly took a step back. Glenn was trying to keep it peaceful, but he wasn't Aiden get away with this shit. Neither was (Y/N), except Daryl wasn't so sure about the peaceful part. Aiden shifted at Glenn's words, and Nicolas narrowed his eyes. Daryl took a step closer, shooting the latter man a warning glare.

"Say that again," Aiden stated, lightly shoving Glenn's chest. He brushed off the warning words of Noah and Tara, and both Glenn and Daryl could see that (Y/N) was barely holding her rage back. Glenn squeezed her shoulder lightly, clearly seeing it too. She was waiting for the right moment, but she was going to break any second. "C'mon tough guy."

Glenn just stared back at him, raising his eyebrows ever so slightly, and the expression pissed Aiden off even more. (Y/N) had to bite back a laugh. "No one's impressed, man. Walk away."

Someone had clearly alerted Deanna to the situation because she came running out, and (Y/N) rolled her eyes slightly at the woman. It was pretty damn clear she didn't like her. However, her expression softened slightly, and some of her anger dissipated when she saw Enid join the newly formed crowd, with Carl not far behind her.

"Aiden, what's going on?" Deanna asked, running over. Daryl saw Rick slowly making his way over with Michonne, and they were both observing too. The tension in the air was thick enough to cut and it felt stifling.

"These two have got a problem with the way we do things. Why did you let these people in? Why didn't you kick her out?" Daryl's eyes furrowed, and his glare settled. This asshole was really trying to get them thrown out? After the shit he'd just heard?

"Because we actually know what we're doing out there," Glenn immediately answered and he barely had time to dodge as Aiden swung for him, while Deanna shouted his name. However, (Y/N) immediately shot into action. The fury she'd been suppressing exploded out all at once, and she didn't hesitate to land a punch ride to Aiden's nose. She'd hit him with enough force to cause his nose to bleed, and Daryl felt a twisted sense of pride in his stomach.

"(Y/N)!" Enid yelled, and (Y/N) looked over to her in panic, scared someone had lunged for her. But while she was distracted, Nicolas had managed to get a hit in on her side, making her fall backwards slightly. Her eyes darkened and she went to attack him, but two arms latched around her waist and yanked her away from the fight. At some point, Aaron had come running towards the commotion and had snuck up behind her. He was trying to talk to her, to calm her down but she only saw red.

However, while the people had been distracted with (Y/N), apparently well-acquainted with her outbursts, no one had thought to stop Daryl. The second, Aiden lunged for Glenn, he was running at them, anger boiling inside of him, but then Nicolas dared to lay a hand on his girl and he felt like that day in the woods with Beth. When he couldn't stop his anger. It just flowed through him, and soon Nicolas had been pinned to the floor with Daryl's arm to his neck. Rick sprinted to them, shouting at him, but Daryl had tuned him out, eyes focusing on the son of a bitch below him. He felt arms yanking him away and he growled something (he couldn't even remember what he was so damn pissed) to, who he assumed was, Rick. Aiden stood up and went to walk towards (Y/N), which made her struggle slightly in Aaron's hold, until Michonne stepped in front, pushing him back.

"Back the fuck up, asshole," (Y/n) shouted, pulling in Aaron's arms, and Michonne narrowed her eyes at Aiden.

"You want to end up on your ass again?"She warned, staring him down until he backed up. After another minute, Rick finally made Daryl let up and Rick pushed him away slightly just for good measure. He was practically vibrating with anger, but he backed away, picking up his crossbow before walking to his girl. Aaron let her go hesitantly, and Daryl wrapped an arm around her waist, both to ground himself and to prevent her from going anywhere. He could feel the heat radiating over, and how pissed off she still was as she and Aiden glared at each other. Deanna stared at her for a minute, a look filled with scorn that nearly set Daryl off again. Aiden had taken the shot first, she couldn't blame his girl for shit.

"I want everyone to hear me, okay? Rick and his people are part of this community now and always as equals. Understood?"She shot a pointed look to her son, who looked away in shame as he wiped his nose, getting blood on the back of his hand. Daryl hid a smirk, despite the anger still stirring in his stomach. "Everyone turn in your weapons. Then you two come talk to me."

Deanna pulled Rick and Michonne to one side, and the pair watched for a second, as Glenn walked off with Maggie. Then, Daryl turned his girl to look at him, inspecting every inch of her to make sure she wasn't badly injured.

"Y'alrigh'?" Daryl questioned softly, placing one hand on her cheeks, which she leant into affectionately. It made his stomach do flips, and he was sure he was blushing but if he was, she didn't say anything. Made him feel like a damn teenager again. She placed her hand over his, touching his ring with a small reassuring smile.

"I'm all good, Dixon. Might have a bruise on my ribs, but I'll live," She replied and Daryl turned to look at Nicolas with a dark look. They were so caught up in themselves that they didn't notice Aaron watching them with a curious look. He was smiling softly. He hadn't been able to get much out of his friend when talking about her husband. She'd let a little slip when she, him and Eric got drunk during her first week, but she'd never told them his name, or anything deep. If she had, maybe he would've been able to reunite them sooner.

Everyone dispersed, with Aiden and Nicolas following Deanna back to her house. (Y/N) watched after them, glaring holes into the back of their heads.

"(Y/N, I know you're pissed off, but you have to quit the fighting. Deanna's going to kick you out if you aren't careful," Aaron warned, folding his arms over his chest, and Daryl's head snapped over furiously. However, (Y/N) turned to him with a face that told him she'd heard this a million times before.

"Fucker went for Glenn first. She just defended him," Daryl murmured and Aaron let out a deep sigh. Guess it wasn't just (Y/N) he had to watch out for now.

The next day, Daryl and (Y/N) had been moved into their own house, and while she was hesitant to leave Eric and Aaron, neither she nor Daryl could deny how nice it was to have their own privacy. It almost felt like life before the apocalypse. Well, besides the fact that this house was worth more than they ever could have afforded before the world went to shit. And they were missing a certain loud-mouthed idiot. Enid also technically lived there, but she was always in and out. One thing both he and his girl knew, was that he was suffocating in here. He hated not being out there. So when she suggested he go hunting, he was out of the door quicker than she could blink. He felt guilty leaving her behind, but she could manage her own, and she had her own jobs to do. Besides, Enid could keep her company. She'd be fine.

The bushes rustling made his crossbow shoot up. Daryl narrowed his eyes, trying to pick out if it was a person, walker or animal, but he quickly realised it was a human and his guard went up tenfold.

"Come out! Now!"He snarled, placing his finger on the trigger as the person began to emerge. Aaron. Son a bitch scared the shit out of him. Not that he'd admit it. He lowered his crossbow with a huff upon seeing the recruiters alarmed face. "Ain't ya supposed to be in Alexandria with Eric?"

"(Y/N)'s watching over him. You can tell the difference between walkers and humans by sound?" Daryl just grunted in response and Aaron studied him, as he checked the string of the crossbow. He wasn't as bad as he made himself out to be. He could see it in the way he acted with (Y/N) alone, and that wasn't even beginning on the rest of his family "Can you tell the difference between a good guy and a bad guy? Rick doesn't seem to be an expert at that."

"There ain't much of a difference no more," Daryl snapped back. What was with this guy? Didn't he know when to stop prying? Wasn't none of his business. Aaron didn't miss the way he squinted at him, or how his shoulders squared defensively.

"That how you feel about your people? About (Y/N)?" Aaron questioned. Daryl tensed slightly before continuing forward into the woods.

"Why ya following me?" Daryl snapped. If it had been anyone else, he probably would've been shouting by now. But Aaron was (Y/N)'s friend. He could talk about her like that. He meant no ill will. Others don't get the right. They didn't know her. They just expected the worst because he was some redneck. Expected her to be the same.

She was so much more.

"You ride horses?"Aaron asked, trying to lighten the situation. He'd really hoped he could save that horse. The kids had been asking him for weeks. At least he wasn't suffering anymore.

"I ride bikes," Daryl responded shortly. Aaron was kind, and he could see how his girl was friends with him. Why she trusted him. They'd taken care of her. Seen that pretty clearly yesterday with Aiden and Nicolas and stopping her from killing them. But everything felt too much still. He wasn't used to being somewhere like this. Even before everything. Even with his girl starting to bring him to the right path. Everything was just overwhelming. He knew Aaron was trying to help, to get to know him,  but whether that was out of kindness or to stay on the good side of his girl, he still hadn't figured it out.

"I take it you don't mean 10-speeds," When Daryl didn't say anything, Aaron let out a small sigh. "I know you're feeling like an outsider. (Y/N) does too, even if she tries to deny it. It's not your fault, you know. Eric and I, we're still looked at as outsiders in a lot of ways. We've heard our fair share of well-meaning, but hilariously offensive things from some otherwise really nice men and women. And you should hear how they talk about (Y/N) sometimes. People are people. The more afraid they get, the more stupid they get. Fear shrinks the brain. They're scared of you and me for different reasons. They're less scared of me because they know me. It's less and less every day. So let them get to know you. You should go to Deanna's party tonight."

By that point, they'd both stopped. Daryl looked back at Aaron with disbelieving eyes. Like hell was he going to some dumb as shit party. People'd stare, whisper, ask questions. They did little else when he was around, normally.

" I got nothing to prove. I met a lot of bad people out here doing a lot of bad shit. They weren't afraid of nothin'," His eyes flashed back to Terminus. Glenn's terrified eyes. The rage in Rick's eyes. Carl's trembling in the storage container. His girl, who'd been so damn close that if he'd stopped for a second, he would have found her.

"Yeah, they were," Aaron replied, smiling at him slightly before walking past him.

"Yer goin'?" Daryl raised his eyebrows, and (Y/N) turned to smile at him. She didn't look herself. Actually no, she looked exactly like herself. But the old her. This wasn't the new, hardened, mildly terrifying new (Y/N). It felt alien. Almost wrong. But hell if she didn't look good, even if she was dressed up for a dumb ass party.

"I want to get to know your family. Besides, I need to prove a point to Deanna and her shithead sons. You sure you won't come?" She trailed over to him and admired him in the last rays of the sunset. He didn't want her to go. Didn't want her near Aiden, Nicolas or Deanna's other son, who he had the pleasure of not yet meeting. He'd only just gotten her back, and everyone wanted a piece of her. It was starting to piss him off.

Daryl just shook his head, moving some stray pieces of hair out of his eyes at the same time. "Naw. Maybe later."

(Y/N) nodded, before taking his hand, using the other to reach up and play with the ends of his hair. He squeezed her hand, a silent demand of her to stay.

"Never thought I'd see you with long hair, Dixon," She said absentmindedly and he snorted quietly. Sometimes it slipped his mind that the last time she'd seen him, he'd looked almost completely different.

"Watch yourself, (L/N)," He shot back, but there was no venom. Just a tender look in his eyes that was reserved for only her. She let out a quiet laugh and brought their joint hands up to kiss the back of his hand before letting go. Merle was right, the asshole. She did make him soft.

He watched the party from a distance, glancing through the window. Trying to get a look, trying to find the courage to go in. His girl or not, the idea of going in there made his skin crawl. Daryl wasn't a people person, it was pretty damn clear. He wished she'd stayed at home with him, but it did make his heart ache slightly knowing she was only going to try and connect with his family. She didn't get pissy about the fact he called them family, didn't judge, didn't expect them to trust her just because they were married. Just tried to connect with them

He let out a heavy sigh, cursing under his breath and turned around, beginning to head back home. Hell, he'd started calling it home now. Maybe it was being with her again, made him feel at home. Maybe he was getting used to this place. Not damn likely. As he was walking past Aaron and Eric's house, (Y/N)'s old home, the light on the porch switched on, and Aaron walked outside

"Daryl. Hey," Aaron greeted, and Daryl resisted a sigh. Sure, he was nice but it was becoming clearer and clearer that this was about him trying to get to know him for (Y/N). But thinking about it, that was exactly what his girl was doing with his family. Goddamn it.

"Thought you were going to that party over there," Daryl responded, leaning against the fence.

"Oh, I was never going to go 'cause of Eric's ankle, thank God," Aaron smiled, looking relieved and Daryl furrowed his eyebrows

"Why the hell did you tell me to go, then?"He snapped, feeling a little guilty by the outburst until he saw the amused (but oddly proud?) look the other man was giving him.

"I said try. You did. It's a thought that counts thing," How long had this guy spent with (Y/N)? Starting to sound just like her.

"All right," Daryl mumbled, pushing off from the fence to walk away until Aaron's voice stopped him again.

"Hey, come in. Have some dinner. Come on, man. It's some pretty serious spaghetti," Aaron offered. Daryl turned to face him, sure he'd see a teasing look on his face. Expecting it to be a joke. But there was a hopeful look on Aaron's face along with a small grin. Yeah, he was starting to see why (Y/N) liked him so much. He hesitated, biting his lip nervously for a second, before walking back to the house. Aaron's grin widened, but Daryl pretended like he hadn't seen anything.

Apart from a greeting from Eric, the three men mostly sat in silence, digging into the spaghetti. Daryl knew he should probably be more aware of how he was eating, he was slurping and he probably looked like a pig (if (Y/N) was there she'd be giving him hell for it), but he'd stopped caring. And while Aaron and Eric shared an occasional muffled laugh, they didn't seem too bothered. Daryl couldn't help but notice the empty two settings on the remaining chairs, and apparently, Eric had followed his gaze.

"We're still getting used to (Y/N) being gone. Enid too. She didn't live with us, but she stayed here a lot because of (Y/N). Guess we still haven't gotten out of the habit of setting their seats," Eric joked lightly, and Daryl made a grunt of acknowledgement.

"Mmm, when you're out there, if you happen to be in a store or something, Mrs Neudermyer is really looking for a pasta maker. And we're all really trying to get her to shut up about it. I mean, we have crates of dried pasta in here, but she wants to make her own or something," Eric seemed oblivious to the pointed looks Aaron was giving him, and the confused one that Daryl seemed to have etched onto his face. Eric was more bubbly than Aaron, more talkative, but still sweet. He didn't expect responses from Daryl, happy to just talk away. Maybe (Y/N)'s friends weren't too bad " I really think she just wants something to talk about, so... if you see one out on your travels, it would go a long way to..."

Finally, Eric looked over to his husband, seeing him shaking his head and his words died on his tongue. Looking awkwardly between Daryl and Aaron before settling on his pasta, a small apologetic smile on his face

"I thought it was done. You didn't ask him already?" As if she'd heard Eric's silent plea to be rescued from the mild embarrassment of the situation, the sound of the door opening made Aaron and Daryl shoot up until they heard (Y/N)'s voice following.

"Aaron? Eric? You home?" She called, sounding tired, and Aaron let out a relieved sigh, before calling her into their dining room. Daryl couldn't help but smile as she walked in. It still felt like she wasn't real. Like she'd disappear any day and he'd wake up in that barn, or on the road, starving and dehydrated. She grinned back at him, but she didn't miss the teasing wink Eric gave her. "Hey, Dixon. What're you doing here?"

"We invited him for the infamous killer spaghetti," Eric grinned at her, nudging her hip with his shoulder as she walked to stand between his seat and Daryl. Instinctively, Daryl took her hand, and she bit back a child-like grin. Aaron gave her a look, one he couldn't recognise but she clearly did as she glared back at him playfully.

"You told him yet?" She asked, turning slightly to look at Aaron properly, nodding her head towards Daryl slightly. Daryl's confusion only furthered. Why did everyone seem to know what was going on except him? Hell, he was willing to bet if Enid was here too then she'd probably know.

"Was just about to, but <i>someone</i> nearly let the cat out of the bag," Eric looked away guiltily, but it was obvious he was forcing back a chuckle.

"Tell me what?" Daryl finally spoke up, and he didn't miss the way her hand tightened around his. Her grin turned slightly mischievous as Aaron started leading them towards their garage. Aaron opened the door and (Y/N) squeezed Daryl's hand again (and if she saw his cheeks starting to go pink, she didn't say anything) while her friend flicked the light on.

The garage was stuffed with spare parts and something that looked suspiciously like a motorbike beneath a piece of huge sheet. (Y/N) let go of his hand, opting instead to lean in the doorway, smiling softly at the excitement that flickered in her husband's eyes, even if his face stayed stoic. It'd been so damn long since he'd seen something like this, and while it reminded him a little too much of Merle's biker buddies, this also felt like home. He felt like a kid in a candy store. Aaron and (Y/N) shared a knowing look behind Daryl's back

"When I got the place, there was that frame and some parts and equipment. Whoever lived here built them," Aaron explained, as Daryl started picking up pieces, admiring them and putting them down again.

"It's a lot of parts for one bike," Daryl stated, trying to hide how happy he was, and he could practically hear (Y/N) rolling her eyes

"Whenever I came across any parts out there, I brought them back. I didn't know what I'd need. (Y/N) tried to figure it out, but it wasn't her area of expertise," There was a teasing tone in his voice at the last sentence and Daryl heard his girl mumble something along the lines of 'shut up. "I always thought I'd learn how to do it, but I get the feeling you already know what to do with it. And the thing is, you're going to need a bike."

"Why?"Daryl pulled back the sheet and saw the skeleton of a bike, with a box of tools next to it.

"I told Deanna not to give you a job because I think I have one for you. I'd like you to be Alexandria's other recruiter. I don't want Eric risking his life anymore," Aaron replied. Daryl understood that, probably better than most people in this community. (Y/N) let out a hum of agreement, and Daryl looked over as she turned to glance back into the house. She was protective of her loved ones. Always had been, and he was really starting to realise just how much Aaron and Eric meant to her.

"You want me risking mine, right?"Daryl questioned, sounding sharper than he wanted, but Aaron could tell he meant no harm by it.

"Yeah, because you know what you're doing. You're good out there. But you don't belong out there. I know it's hard getting used to people getting used to you. And I understand right now you need to be out there sometimes. So do I. But the main reason why I want you to help me recruit is because you do know the difference between a good person and a bad person, "Hell, he really had spent too much time with his girl. Daryl bit his lip in thought, but he already knew his mind was made up. Being in here all the time was killing him. Even with his girl here, he knew he couldn't stay here for long without getting antsy.

"I got nothing else to do. Thanks. I'll get you some rabbits," Aaron let out a loud laugh at that, patting Daryl's shoulder as he stepped past him, back to his girl in the doorway. She was smiling, asking him silently how he was feeling. He just gave her a tiny smile, and clearly, that was enough for her, as she wrapped her arm around his side.

Daryl couldn't help but notice how close (Y/N) had suddenly gotten with Glenn, Rick, Tara and Maggie. He noticed the way the rest of his family seemed a little more at ease with her, not exactly trusting her yet, but clearly getting on that track. Carl still wasn't sure about her, but Daryl didn't miss how he'd come and actually started conversations with her a few times, instead of avoiding her completely. Part of him was suspicious that it had something to do with his obvious crush on Enid. And while it made his heart warm that she was starting to become integrated with his family, there was always someone whisking her away now. He just wanted to spend some damn time with his wife, but he had to go out with Aaron, and she was going on another run.

And every damn thing that could have gone wrong absolutely did. It'd been a god damn trap, and now he was trapped in a car, surrounded by fuck knows how many walkers with his wife best friend. And the walkers just kept coming, pouring out of the trucks, banging on the window. How fucking long until that glass shattered and they were made into walker meat? But despite the hell going on around him, he couldn't stop a chuckle escaping his lips. It was fucking ironic. Aaron gave him a bewildered look.

"I came out here to not feel all closed up back there. Even now, this feels more like me than back in them houses. That's pretty messed up, huh?" Daryl explained, looking over at Aaron, who still had that look, but had a small, almost sad, smile on his lips.

"You were trying," Aaron said, and Daryl shook his head lightly. Wasn't exactly a choice. There were the kids, his friends, his family. Then (Y/N) got added into the mix, and that was it.

"I had to," He shot back, eyes watching the walkers that were gnashing their teeth outside the window.

"No, you didn't. Listen, I saw you with your group out there on the road. Then you went off on your own to the barn. Storm hit and you lead your people to safety. That was it. I knew I had to bring you people back," Aaron had this gentle look, and he went quiet, thinking for a second. When he spoke again his voice was thick "You were right. We should have kept looking for that guy in the poncho. I shouldn't have given up. You didn't."

Daryl went silent, pulling a cigarette out of his pocket and lighting it. He'd given up. On his girl. Given up on her, lost hope started thinking she was dead. And look at what happened.

"I didn't, because I gave up before," It didn't take a genius to figure out what, or rather who he was talking about "Hadn't seen her in two years. Thought she was dead. Found 'er. Ain't givin' up this time. I'll go. I'll lead 'em out. You make a break for the fence."

God, she was going to kill him for this.

Aaron's head snapped over, the beginning of tears in his eyes quickly disappearing as he processed Daryl's words. "No, no, no. This was my fault."

"Wasn't a question. And this ain't yer decision. It ain't nobody's fault. Just let me finish my smoke first. Promise you'll look after ma girl, 'right?" Daryl brought the cigarette back to his lips, taking a draw. He ignored Aaron' stare, his leg bouncing lightly. This'd destroy her. But, she had people to look after. And people would look after her for him. His family would be there, Aaron, Eric, Enid. She'd forget about him after a while.

"No," Aaron said sternly, and Daryl was almost taken back by the tone. Never heard him talk like that. "You don't draw them away. We fight. We go for the fence. We do it together, alright? Whether we make it or not. We do it together. We have to."

Daryl fell back into that silence, biting his lip in thought. (Y/N) would probably never forgive him if he let Aaron die. But she'd never forgive Aaron if he did. Fuck. Shit.

"Alright. You ready?" Daryl took one last drag before extinguishing the cigarette and picking up his knife instead. Hell, he couldn't believe he was agreeing to this. Sorry (L/N) "We'll go on three. One, two-"

But three never came as one of the walkers outside's guts spilt on Aaron's window, making them both freeze and exchange a puzzled look. There was no gunshot. The dead didn't kill their own. His door was suddenly yanked open, making Aaron scuttle back and lean on Daryl slightly, before he saw a guy standing there, holding a badass staff. He climbed out, followed immediately by Daryl. Everything was a blur of guts, blood and aching muscles until they got back to the gate and closed it. He was pretty sure he was just running on adrenaline at this point

"Hey, Daryl?" Aaron said breathlessly and Daryl looked over to see him smiling "Take care of her your damn self."

They got back just in time to see all hell had broken loose. The sound of shouting and screaming greeted them as Spencer let them through the gate, and Aaron had gone sprinting ahead, followed soon by Daryl and Morgan. Daryl's heart was pounding, worried (Y/N) was in the middle of it. Shit, shit, shit, shit. (Y/N) and Abraham were holding Pete down as he squirmed and glared up at them. And there on the floor, Deanna was crying, begging while she pressed against the slice on Reg's neck. Alexandrian's watched in terror, and horror as he choked on his own blood, and Daryl didn't miss the look in (Y/N)'s eyes, beneath all the fear and rage. A look he knew too well. She was reliving something. He only wished he knew what. It was then Daryl noticed Michonne's bloody katana on the floor, where Michonne herself looked at it with disgust. Rick was stood beside Abraham and (Y/N), watching Deanna with pity, but waiting for her instruction as Reg ultimately stopped moving. The air was silent, still, and he could see Aaron bouncing slightly from foot to foot, desperate to check up on his husband as Morgan watched with disdain.

One bullet, and it was done, blood splattered on (Y/N) and Abraham's faces. But she didn't even flinch. Just stared blankly. When they got back to their house, Enid, who'd allegedly been told to stay in the house but snuck out (in Enid like fashion) was wrapped under (Y/N)'s arm. She looked scared still, and Daryl had tried to comfort her, even if it hadn't been much, until (Y/N) had been relieved from the situation and took over. She was like a mini carbon copy of his girl, with the addition of teen angst, but she was easy to talk to (even when she was traumatised). His girl still had that blank look, had it since Rick pulled that trigger, and somehow that scared him more. She ushered Enid to her room, and Daryl knew she would either leave within a few minutes, or she wouldn't move until morning. But Enid didn't protest, just gave (Y/N) a quick hug and rushed upstairs.

His girl was still silent, as they reached their room, as they started changing into their pyjamas, as she went off to brush her teeth and wash the blood off her face, as they climbed into bed. It wasn't until Daryl reached out to touch her and she flinched back, did he attempt to break the silence.

"(Y/N)," He mumbled, and she raised her eyebrows to show she was listening but didn't meet his eyes. His stomach was in a knot, worry, nerves and interest as he watched her. "Hey, look at me."

It took her a minute, but reluctantly, she dragged her eyes up to meet his and he saw it. Guilt, anxiety and trauma all wrapped in one.

"Talk to me," Was all he said, and that was all it took. It was spilling out of her before she could stop it, and her hand found him desperately.

"After Anna, Ben, Andrew, Kai, Mom and I were chased out. Moved camp every day. Didn't know where we were going, just kept moving. One night, we were distracted. Ben was talking about smoke or something, and Kai started sayin' how we should go towards Washington. Said it was one of the few places that might have civilisation. We let out guard down," (Y/N) hesitated again, and Daryl squeezed her hand tightly, prompting her to continue. Every word she spoke, the sadder her eyes grew. The guilt kept building and building, and Daryl felt his own pit of dread in his stomach. She was in pain and there was nothing he could do about it. "Some assholes come out of the woods, demand our supplies. I said no and they... they shot Kai. Then Ben and Andrew. Started going through our stuff, held me back as they murdered my family. Then they grabbed mom and-"

Daryl didn't hesitate in pulling her in when her voice hitched and she stopped again. He held her so tight, he was almost certain it was hurting, but she didn't voice any complaints. She just curled into him before continuing.

"Those bastards slit her throat. I had to put her down when she turned. Left me in the middle of the woods. When Reg... I just saw mom. It was like I was back there, reliving again and again on repeat. And I can't help but think that if I'd stepped forward, maybe Reg would be alive," She whispered, fingers clutching onto the sleep shirt he wore. He shook his head, placing a kiss on her hair.

"And you'd be dead. Ain't yer fault. None of it. Not yer ma and yer family. Not Reg. Weren't nothin' you coulda done. Ya cain't blame yerself for it," Daryl said, and while his tone was gentle, the words were firm but they seemed to do nothing to ease her, she just held on tighter. "I know that ain't everythin'. What happened?"

"We lost Noah. He was right there. We had him, and then he was just gone. Glenn and I, we held onto him so hard, but the walkers they- they got him. Pushed him against the glass. We had to watch-" It was then Daryl felt her pull back and she adjusted so her arms were wrapped around him, tucked under his chin again when he pulled her close.

"I'm sorry," He didn't know what else to say. Noah was gone. That kid was something else, annoying sometimes, sure, but he brought this hopeful light to the group, even when they were damn near dying on the road. He found his brain starting to ache and a weird feeling in his chest. Daryl was well acquainted with loss, everyone was now, but it never got any easier. Not when the losses kept coming, and to the people who deserved them the least. He couldn't imagine how terrifying it must have been to watch. What it was like for her. He didn't want to. The thought alone was enough to give him nightmares. So he just held her tightly, even as he felt a wet patch seeping through his sleep shirt. Even as she shook. Even as she drifted off, exhausted and hurting, and he laid awake for hours after. He couldn't make it okay, even if he wanted to. And hell he really did. He couldn't bring Noah back, couldn't wipe the memory from her or Glenn's mind.

The only thing he could do was be there for her, comfort her, help her out of that place whenever she went there.  However, the only thing he could do, right at that moment, was hold her and not let go.

TAGS: OPEN

Tags (for this series): @graniairish @fuseburner @gloomystorm @bxxbxy @browneyes528 @hoemadegrace @reichelhache​

#phoebe writes #blame me #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon imagine #daryl dixon #daryl dixon x y/n #carl grimes #enid twd #sasha williams #noah twd #merle dixon #lori grimes #rick grimes #glenn rhee #maggie rhee #maggie greene #beth greene #Carol Peletier #father gabriel #judith grimes #abraham ford #y/n #the walking dead #twd #michonne twd #eugene porter #rosita espinosa #tara chambler #Hershel Greene #aaron twd

[severetimetravelnerd]

We’ve got this (ft. G Dragon)

Your’s and Jiyong’s journey welcoming someone into your family.

(I don’t own any of the images used. All credit goes to the original owners.)

Taglist:

@unabashedturkeytreeslime​

@happiestgirlontheeastcoast​

@kwonnansi​

Word count : 5501

If there is anyone else who would like to be tagged, you can comment or leave me a message :))

I only write on this blog on tumblr, so if you see my work on any other platform, please let me know immediately.

This is slightly angsty, but is mostly an overload of fluff. It’s also to celebrate 150 followers!! Thanks you guys!:)) Please continue to support me :)) Always grateful:)

Features appearances from Taeyang and Hyorin.

Warnings: cursing, pregnancy, smut, fingering, unprotected sex(use protection y’all) .

————————————————————————–

“Jiyong? Babe? I’m home. Sorry I’m late. Youngbae called for help with picking tampons and it took a while to get him to calm down. Where are you?”

You walked in, looking for your boyfriend. You were a little grumpy because he was leaving for a tour the next day, you wanted to spend as much time as possible with him, and your time with him was getting cut short. You wouldn’t be seeing him for five months. You had just entered your kitchen when you felt his hands cover your eyes. His lips were so close to your ear that it sent a shiver down your spine.

“Shhh love. Relax. I’ve got you.”

You did not relax. There were goosebumps all over your body. No matter how long you had been together, Jiyong always had that effect on you. He led you to your bedroom, removing his hands to leave you there, with only a box and a small handwritten note for guidance. Smiling, you picked up the note.

“I got you a little something. It’s your favourite colour :)”

Excited, you opened up the box to find some beautiful maroon lace lingerie. It was scandalous, but so oh beautiful. Buried in them was a note you found saying,

“Go look at the mirror after putting these on.”

Blushing, you turned around and found a small post it stuck to the mirror.

“I knew you’d look stunning in these.”

Still with a smile you knew would not leave your face for the night, you went back to the box and found a gorgeous black dress. It was floor length and sleeveless, with a plunging neckline, and in classic Jiyong fashion, perfectly accessorised from head to two in tones of gold and maroon. At the bottom of the box, there was another note.

“When you’re done, follow the fairy lights.”

Feeling emotional already, you opened the door and found fairy lights leading you towards the balcony. Wiping away a tear of happiness, you followed them and nearly cried when you saw Jiyong standing there with his arms open, a perfectly laid out table and the rest of the balcony lined with fairy lights stuffed in glass bottles behind him. You were so overwhelmed. Only when Jiyong walked up to you and lifted your hand to kiss it did you snap out of it. And when you looked at Jiyong, your knees nearly gave way then and there. In perfectly snug black slacks, an oversized maroon shirt showing an unholy amount of his chest and collarbones and all the right earrings, he left you breathless. Sometimes, you just couldn’t believe you were dating that man. Out of nowhere, music started playing and Jiyong wrapped his arms around your waist, swaying along to the music. You wrapped your arms around him and looked up at him smiling with that gummy smile.

“What is this Jiyong?”

Twirling you around once, he placed a light kiss on your lips before saying,

“Well, I know I’m not the best boyfriend in the world, but I wanted our evening to be perfect tonight.”

You were melting. He was wrong. He was definitely the best boyfriend in the world. You pulled him down by the collar into a deep kiss, wanting to just stay there in his arms and freeze that moment in time. He pulled away after a while, with his eyebrows raised.

“Wow. If you loved that, wait till you see what I’ve cooked.”

You laughed.

“You? Cooking? Ji, are you sure you didn’t just order some pizza?”

He beamed at you.

“Nope. I didn’t. I took the day off, facetimed your mom and got your favourite food right.”

You gasped.

“Ji, are you saying-”

Grinning, he said,

“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying. And it tastes fucking amazing.”

“Oh Ji…”

He smirked.

“Yes, I know. I’m amazing.”

You rolled your eyes but you didn’t disagree.

You and Jiyong had an amazing dinner. He was right. He had made your favourite meal really well and you were mind blown. You tried not to think about how you wouldn’t see him for the next five months, but he did a good job of making sure you weren’t dwelling on it and were happy. At the end of dinner, he pushed the table out of the way, filled two wine glasses up to the brim, started playing music and held out a glass for you with a smirk on his face. Jiyong’s playlist was pretty innocent, but your thoughts were anything but. As the two of you playfully danced around to the music, you slowly wrapped your arms around his neck and drew him closer to you, taking a few minutes to absorb that familiar scent and feel. He hummed along to the music, gently taking both your now empty glasses and put them down on the table and came back, wrapping his arms back around you. He smiled gently at you and slowly swayed to the music. You let your hands slide down to his chest, playing with his chain for a while before finally unbuttoning his shirt a little more. Immediately, his smile was replaced by that sinful smirk. You knew from that moment on it was about who would give in first and you were determined to make him. He let his hands slide down from your waist, letting them rest upon your butt. You suppressed the moan rising in your throat and rested your head against his chest, letting your lips rest against his collar bones. He pulled you closer, allowing you to feel the bulge against you. You smirked. He had made a mistake. You pressed yourself into him, with your boobs flush against his arm and your hips rocking against his now prominent bulge. You heard him hiss but he persevered. One of his hands came up to play with the one knot holding up your dress as he leaned down to whisper,

“Come on Y/N. You know you want this.”

You moved your lips to his ear.

“Don’t act like you don’t Ji. You’re a bad liar.”

He pulled you even closer, pressing his erection into you, but that backfired, because you couldn’t hold on to that moan any longer. You let out a long, breathy moan of his name against his ear and with that, he lost it. He picked you up and kissed you, wrapping your legs around his waist while he moved towards the bedroom.

You wanted to laugh and gloat, but you couldn’t, because he had you in his arms, wrapped in a deep, toe curling kiss, and very soon, you lost the ability to think at all. You wanted him. He threw you on the bed, pushing off the box haphazardly. He smirked at the flushed, breathless you he had left on the bed. He stripped and climbed on top of you. His hands reached for your face and he held you gently, kissing you yet again, memorising everything about you. After a few minutes, his hands finally strayed down, undid the knot by your waist and threw the dress off you. And when he saw you, he had to stop for a minute. He had stopped everything and was just staring at you, drinking in the sight of you. You squirmed feeling his hands leave your body, but after that, you felt a little shy. Blushing, you asked him,

“What are you doing?”

Not taking his eyes off you for even a second, he replied.

“You’re just so goddamn beautiful.”

Leaving you speechless, he dropped down to your belly, dropping light kisses there, slowly making his way upwards, letting his hands wrap around your thighs and draw you closer to him. He gently traced patterns onto your thigh, slowly making his way up, enjoying the way you were squirming. Not wanting to let go of you for even a second, he reached around and kissed your back before unhooking your bra with his teeth, making you gasp at the cold air. Your nipples were already hard but he couldn’t help it. He flattened his tongue against your right nipple before swirling his tongue around, making your nipple harden even more. He switched to the other, the cold air on your wet nipple making you gasp and grab his hair.  He played with your nipple until you were begging him and writhing beneath him.

“Jiyong please.”

And he finally listened, coming up to pull you into another kiss. His hands slid your panties off and he gently dipped his fingers into your folds, smirking when he realised how wet you were.  He let his lips trail over your neck, murmuring,

“Oh love, all this for me?”

before latching down on the spot above your left collarbone and sucking. At the same time, he let his fingers circle around your clit, gently tapping on it. Your back arched and his other hand came up to play with the nipple you had so helpfully pressed against him.  he looked down at you. God, you were beautiful. He had to memorise this. With that, he let his lips trail further down to just beneath your boobs before sucking down there. His fingers gently increased the speed and moved closer to your clit. He slowly increased the pressure he was putting on your clit and that was it. You were close. So close. And when he lightly spanked your clit before rubbing down on it, you came. You let out a breathy moan, pulling Jiyong close and collapsing. He looked at you, a flushed moaning mess with marks blossoming all over your chest and neck, smirked and collapsed next to you, pulling you into his arms, getting ready to snuggle when you interrupted him.

“Ji?”

“Yes, my love?”

“I want you in me.”

Surprised, he turned to look at you.

“Princess, I wanted to make this all about you tonight.”

You turned to look at him smiling, but with a tear running down your face.

“I know Ji, but I really, really need you in me.”

Your lip was trembling, but before that dam could break, Jiyong kissed you again, gently moving on top of you. He pulled away for a second to cup your face.

“Y/N, I love you. I love you so much.”

Still a little teary-eyed, you kissed his hands and replied.

“I love you too Jiyong. So, so much.”

Jiyong pulled you back into a kiss and entered you. You wrapped your arms around him, holding on to his arms and back for support. He also had tears streaming down his face while he thrusted into you, slow and steady, both of you taking your time to savour every second. The two of you continued like that for a while, both pressed flush against each other, enjoying the intimacy. You came first and a few minutes later, with one long thrust, so did Jiyong. He slowly lay beside you, wrapping his arms around you and you snuggled into his chest, as close as you could get. Your voice was a little shaky when you said,

“I’ll miss you.”

He rubbed your shoulders, leaning down to kiss your forehead.

“I know love. So will I. But I will be back. It’ll be over before we know it.”

Both of you knew that wasn’t true but neither of you wanted to say it. You broke the silence.

“I love you Jiyong.”

“I love you too Y/N.”

And then, he turned towards you, pulled you even closer, wrapped both his arms around you and kissed you lightly. You snuggled into his neck, enjoying the warmth and comfort of his arms. The two of you fell asleep like that. And when he left early the next morning, both of you pretended like you were asleep. You just let him press a light kiss on your forehead and leave, not wanting to let him see you cry and Jiyong left, not wanting you to cry.

 -----

One month later, you were staring at your doctor in disbelief. You froze and then you burst out laughing.

“Ah, good one Unnie. Nothing popped up on my report, right?”

She smiled at you, let your laughter subside, and with that same calm smile, she said,

“Nope. I’m not kidding Y/N. You’re pregnant. Congratulations!”

Your head was spinning. You were pregnant. You were pregnant?! What? Oh. That’s a lot to take in. You slowly started to smile. You were pregnant. You were finally starting a family with Jiyong. There might be a mini you or a mini Jiyong in you. You were so, so happy. You were a little nervous, because you knew Jiyong loved kids, but you weren’t sure whether he wanted them right then, but you were pretty sure he’d be happy. You sat there for the next five minutes with a stupidly happy grin on your face before your doctor snapped you out of it to make sure you’d listen to all the important stuff about pregnancy.

As soon as you stepped out of the clinic, you called Hyorin and Youngbae. You were so excited. A little nervous. But super excited. They both picked up at the same time.

“Why’re you calling both of us at the same time Y/N?”

“I have news. But, and this is specifically for Youngbae, you cannot tell Jiyong. It’s a surprise. Promise.”

Hyorin immediately agreed. Youngbae seemed unsure.

“I don’t know Y/N. Does it have to be a surprise?”

You rolled your eyes.

“Yes. Yes, it does.”

He groaned.

“Fine. I promise I won’t tell him.”

“I’m pregnant.”

You pulled the phone away from your ears a little, anticipating both Hyorin and Youngbae yelling, which did happen. You interrupted their questioning.

“Wait you guys. I’ll drive over to your place right now. We can talk there. I promise I’ll tell you everything.”

Hyorin squealed, but you could still hear Youngbae deadpan,

“Please don’t.”

 -----

Jiyong was walking down the street in Paris, lonely, but still enjoying the weather and the vibe. But fate had other plans for him. as he was walking down the street, something in the window caught his eye. It was a flashy, ostentatious ring. Gold band studded with diamonds throughout. But he wanted it. Not that specific ring, but at that moment, he knew the first thing he had to do when he got back home was to ask you to marry him and take you ring shopping. It was time to pick an engagement ring.

  -----

Four months later, and you were getting big, and fast. As you sat there watching Jiyong’s old performances, your mind wandered. You hated the new pregnancy diet you were on. You really missed your wine and your tea. The morning sickness and the constant aches and pains were really bad. You had a headache that was increasing with every second. None of your clothes fit right. You were nervous about telling Jiyong. But most of all, you missed him. You wished he was with you, helping you when your back hurt too much or just cuddling with you when you got sad, but not only did you want to surprise him, but you also knew that he would be miserable that he couldn’t be with you. You rubbed your belly, smiling.

“It’s just you and me for now, tiny.”

You quickly glanced at the clock.

“But appa will be here next week, so don’t worry. I know he’ll love you.”

You stretched behind you to get the bottle of water when you saw someone open the front door. Jiyong slowly walked in, wheeling in, or at least trying to wheel in, his suitcase quietly. He looked up when he heard you drop the bottle. He smiled sheepishly.

“I was hoping you’d be asleep so I could surprise you properly in the morning. Why’re you up so late anyway?”

You couldn’t process what was happening. Jiyong’s smile widened and he opened his arms.

“Surprise!”

Finally, things began to sink in. You smiled too, slowly getting up and holding your belly.

“Surprise, Ji.”

His eyes widened and before you knew it, he was next to you. His voice was shaky when he said,

“Y/N, you’re pregnant?”

You started tearing up. You nodded, and gently guided his hand over to your belly.

“Meet tiny, Jiyong.”

You leaned closer to your belly.

“Tiny, that’s appa.”

He was teary eyed when he asked,

“So I’m going to be a father?”

“Yes, Jiyong. Yes, you are.”

He left his hand on your belly, being very gentle when he pulled you closer and kissed you. He pulled away, letting his forehead rest against yours as he whispered,

“I love you Y/N.”

You held his face and gently wiped away the stray tears.

“I love you too Jiyong.”

 -----

Later that night, the two of you lay curled up in bed, all wrapped up in a blanket. He had his arm around you as you rested your head on his chest. He couldn’t take his eyes off you, unable to believe the news he had just received. He stroked your hair and kissed your hand before asking,

“When Y/N?”

“The night before you left.”

“So, it’s been five months?”

“Yes.”

“How long have you known?”

“Four months.”

“Who else knows?”

“Just Hyorin, Youngbae and my sister.”

He pouted.

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

You smiled and kissed his nose.

“Because I wanted to surprise you with good news when you got back. Also, you’d have wanted to come home but wouldn’t have been able to and that would have killed you.”

Jiyong looked so heartbroken.

“But I missed so much!”

You hated that he was feeling that way. You took his face in your hands and said,

“Listen to me Jiyong. I know this is awful but even if I had told you earlier, there’s nothing you would have been able to do. I knew you’d feel this way, so…”

His eyes lit up.

“You’ve planned something?”

“Open your drawer. You’ll find flash drives full of pictures and videos from every month of pregnancy in there for you.”

“God, I love you. Y/N, will you marry me?”

Suddenly, you felt both emotional and annoyed.

“Are you serious? You asked me to marry you when I’m bloated and pimply?”

He quickly kissed you before replying,

“Yes, because no matter how bloated or pimply you are, you are always going to be the most beautiful woman in the world to me and I’ll always want to be married to you. Now will you please stop me from panicking and answer my question?”

All your annoyance and anger dissipated. Nodding happily, you replied,

“Yes, yes I will.”

You went ring shopping the next day. Both you and Jiyong picked pale gold rings with a single, clear emerald in the middle.

 -----

 A week later, the two of you were sitting at the table, glaring at each other suspiciously. You cleared your throat and began.

“Okay, so let’s start the negotiation.”

He nodded.

“First off, I want you to do the pregnancy diet with me.”

“What?! Nooo.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s horrible.”

“Yes, it is. But I’m doing it. And who got me here?”

Sounding so awfully resigned, he said,

“Me.”

“So, you’ll do it then?”

“Can I break it if you’re not around?”

Your eyes narrowed.

“Pregnant women don’t get to break it Jiyong.”

He shivered under your gaze.

“God, you’re scary.”

He mumbled later, almost as an afterthought.

“Is it weird that I find that hot?”

You winked at him.

“We’ll see about that later. Now your turn.”

He took a deep breath and started.

“I want Youngbae and Hyorin to be tiny’s godparents.”

“Agreed.”

“I think so because-Wait what?”

“I agree.”

“Oh okay. Great!”

And he grinned a stunningly disarming grin at you, making you grin back unwittingly. You shook your head, brain clouded with thoughts of Jiyong and his stupid, charming grin, and said,

“I want to get married after the baby.”

He paused and nodded.

“Okay Y/N. Why?”

“I don’t want to make too many changes at once. Let’s have our baby, get used to everything and then get married.”

He took a few minutes to think about it.

“Okay. Let’s do that. I’m happy with that too.”

He paused to hold your hand. He could tell you were nervous about how he would react to that.

“Listen Y/N. I meant what I said. I will always want to marry you and it doesn’t matter if it’s a little later as long as we’re together.”

You squeezed his hand, grateful that he was in your life. He continued.

“Okay. I want to make the pregnancy public.”

You were shocked. Your relationship wasn’t even public. You weren’t married. And you knew what kind of reactions things would get. Jiyong saw the look on your face and squeezed your hand again, reassuring you.

“Y/N, this is big. And you know how the media gets. They’ll find out anyway. It’s better if we tell them that we’re expecting and then keep things private.”

“Ji, but the backlash, the hate, how are we going to handle that?”

“We will tell them we want it to be private and my manager will handle the hate. This is our life. These are our choices. And they don’t get a say in them.”

You still looked kind of unsure.

“Y/N, trust me on this.”

You looked at him, staring at his determination for a few seconds before giving in.

“Okay fine. I trust you. We can do this.”

You took a deep breath and started.

“Okay, I need you to be in the room with me every step of the way for the birth. And I need you to attend all my birthing classes and do all of that with me.”

Jiyong looked shocked. He got up from his seat, knelt before you and hugged you.

“Y/N, why is that even a demand? Of course I’ll be there. I would never not be there. Why would you have to ask me?”

You bit your lip.

“Nothing. It’s just that in my family, no one ever did that. It was considered ‘unmanly’. I just needed to make sure.”

“Love, I will always be there, every step of the way. Fuck what they said about it being ‘unmanly’. That’s horrible. I could never let you do that alone.”

You smiled, feeling a weight off your chest. Jiyong hugged you and sat back down. He looked nervous, and when he opened his mouth, you understood why

“I want you to work for shorter hours.”

Immediately, you were on edge.

“Jiyong, I run my own event planning company. I can’t work less.”

“You know you can. You could just ask Natasha to take over for a while. You are partners.”

“But she does better with the finance of it. And I can work! It’s not strenuous or anything.”

Jiyong’s eyebrows shot up.

“Sweetheart, look me in the eyes and tell me that’s true. I’ve seen the way you pull all nighters and stress yourself out to get the perfect event. You always do, but you can’t risk messing up your health now. You need rest.”

You knew he was right, but you hated it. You pouted and got whiny.

“Nooo Jiyong.”

“Y/N, I’m not telling you to stop working completely. I’m just saying that maybe you shouldn’t undertake any new projects and oversee them personally for a while. Do what Natasha does. Check in from time to time and make sure the final product is good. You have some really great people working with you. They can handle this.”

You sighed. You knew he was right. once you started, you loved to deep dive into things. It was better if you stayed away from a bunch of projects for a while.

“Okay fine. You’re right. I’ll talk to Natasha tomorrow.”

He hugged you, bombarding you with kisses.

“I know. Now, you wanna go switch things up in the bedroom?”

And as you laughed, he carried you to the bedroom, whispering things into your ear that made you blush.

----- 

You held his hand as you walked into the clinic together. It was Jiyong’s first visit to the clinic and you were going to find out the gender of your baby. He was so nervous and it was adorable. You had shown him all the sonograms you had but nothing ever truly explains it like being there in person. You were in the waiting room, amused, watching him freak out reading all the birth magazines there.

“Y/N, oh god. We’re not prepared. We’re not ready for this at all. Do we want a water birth? What is a doula? Why do I not know any of this?!”

You let him ramble for a few minutes before grabbing his face and kissing him.

“Jiyong. Listen to me. We’ve got this. We’ll figure this out. It’s okay.”

You smiled at him, watching his face relax into a smile too. It was just then that the nurse called you in.

You lay there, watching him with rapt eyes as the doctor showed him your baby. Tiny. Jiyong was hearing your baby’s heartbeat for the first time. And your eyes filled up with tears looking at the way Jiyong was crying. You reached for his hand, pulling him a little closer to wipe some of the tears away. Your doctor coughed softly, making both of you turn to look at her.

“Your tiny is a girl. Congratulations!”

Jiyong sat down next to you, crying as he rested his hands over your belly. He looked at you, wide-eyed.

“Our daughter.”

“Yes Jiyong, our daughter. Our baby.”

 -----

 You were hungry, you were grumpy and you felt like crying. You couldn’t see your feet anymore. It was 4 in the morning, you were waiting alone at home for Jiyong to get back. Why was he taking so long? All he had to do was get you your favourite crepes and come back home so that you could cuddle and not be hangry any more. You groaned. You were so annoyed. At the back of your head, a small voice reminded you that you did just wake up Jiyong at 3 and forced him to go get you, a terrifyingly pregnant woman, crepes from a place that was probably closed. Your anger melted a little and you started to feel bad for waking him up. So bad that in a few minutes, you were biting your lips and curled up in a bed under a blanket, a cocoon of sadness. You were about to delve deeper into your sadness when you heard him walk in. a tired, sleepy voice called out,

“Y/N, my love, I got you your crepes.”

As he walked into the bedroom with the crepes in one hand, you pulled him into a hug. Sounding very apologetic, you said,

“Sorry for this Ji. You must be tired.”

He ruffled your hair before starting to feed you the crepes.

“No no Y/N, don’t apologise. I should always be doing this. Besides, I would have been much more annoyed if the owner didn’t take pity on me and make me some crepes after all my begging.”

 -----

 You were now thirty-five weeks pregnant and everything hurt. Your stomach was huge. Your back hadn’t stopped hurting in months. Your feet were aching. And most importantly, your head was killing you. it hurt so much that you couldn’t sleep. When you tossed and turned for the millionth time, Jiyong finally sat up with a sigh.

“What’s wrong love?”

You could barely manage to mumble,

“My head hurts. A lot. Jiyong, would you mind speaking softly?”

Jiyong sighed again and got up from bed. Again, you managed to mumble,

“Are you going to sleep somewhere else?”

But he was too far away to hear. He came back five minutes later with a cup of peppermint tea. He gently helped you up and gave it to you, shooting you a tired smile.

“Drink it. It’ll help.”

You mumbled a grateful thanks but he could barely hear you. You were about to crawl back into bed to deal with the pain as usual, but he stopped you.

“Wait. Hold on, let’s try something.”

He climbed in first and helped you into bed, positioning himself just a tad bit higher than you so that you could curl into him. As soon as you got comfortable, he gently began massaging your head, easing the tension in your temples. Before you could mumble a confused bunch of questions, he rubbed your back, comforting you.

“Shhh love. I got this.”

 -----

 You were in the hospital, staring up at the ceiling while Jiyong held your hand, hissing through the pain of those damn contractions. Why, oh why did you not get an epidural? Oh yeah, you were scared of needles. There was ‘calming’ music playing in the background, a nervous move by Jiyong to try and make things better, which was only annoying you. Birds chirping was not calming if you had developed a newfound hatred for birds. And so much pain. Oh god, so much pain. You breathed heavily when they stopped, grateful for the small release. Just as you managed to calm down, they started again. You squeezed Jiyong’s hand so hard, it was white. You could see him wincing, but you couldn’t help it. When they stopped again, you were out of it. You felt Jiyong lightly wipe your forehead clean of sweat. You turned to him, surprised to find him crying.

“Why’re you crying Ji?”

“Because you’re in pain, love.”

“Aww Jiyong – Nope, they’re starting again. Jiyong, this is all your fault.”

 -----

Seven hours later, you were exhausted, but you lay there with Jiyong standing beside you, staring down at the tiny bundle against your chest, her small hand holding his finger. You could barely move, but you turned towards Jiyong and your baby, your tiny, who was finally here. You and Jiyong looked each other and nodded. Jieun was home.

#kpop scenarios #g dragon scenarios #kpop fluff #g dragon fluff #kpop smut #g dragon smut #kpop angst #g dragon angst #kpop #fluff #smut #angst #pregnancy scenarios #bigbang scenarios #gdragon #kwon jiyong #fanfiction

[spaceorphan18]

i really liked your s6 blaine meta! would you be willing to do something similar for season 5 episodes 14-20?

Hi Nonny! Sorry for the delay, this is kind of a huge undertaking.  I’m going to be honest, this will be more of an abridged answer.  I really recommend looking over to my Finding Kurt Hummel Meta, because a lot of Kurt and Blaine’s stories are intertwined, and I do talk a lot about Blaine and his motivations there.  That said, let’s dig in! 

Pre-New York Arc

So, as Blaine tells us when before he’s going to graduate, his senior year has been really hard and really weird.  He broke up with his boyfriend, dealt with a school shooting, suffered the loss of a good friend, and then got engaged.  (Y’all should check out my Glee Timeline to see just how squished all of this stuff really was.) By the time his tenure as a high school student is over, he’s desperate to fast forward to being a full fledged adult -- living out his dreams in New York City.  The problem is trying to force your dreams come true doesn’t always work, especially when a) you’re still a kid trying to figure things out and b) you still have a lot of insecurities and mental health issues to deal with.  

So Blaine (and Kurt) still have a lot of growing up to do.  And a lot of the New York Arc is figuring out just that.  

Let’s talk about the proposal for a second, too.  Blaine jumping to marriage is, yes, a bit pre-mature.  He’s was so desperate to get his relationship back on track with Kurt, and so wanting to prove his commitment, he jumped about fifteen other steps and went straight to what he would be the ultimate band-aide -- marriage.  Well, just because you’re married (or engaged) doesn’t mean you don’t have a lot of issues in your relationship.  Blaine and Kurt were too young for their engagement -- and not necessarily because of their age, but because they really hadn’t dealt with a lot of things the move to New York, the cheating, and the first break up did to their relationship.  However, Blaine wants to ignore a lot of the red flags because he feels since he has Kurt back, and put a ring on that finger, he should be fine, right?  His insecurities about Kurt not loving him or wanting to leave him should be squashed because -- ring.  Right??  Oh, Blainey. 

New New York

So, what we don’t see is the six-to-nine months of Kurt and Blaine living together.  Which is a shame.  Because we don’t see how it started, and how they probably were so head over heels wanting to live together and do all the fun things Burt listed off in his conversation with Kurt before the proposal in Love Love Love that they did not have any kind of conversation about how living together would ultimately work.  So, it’s nine months later, and things aren’t so rosey.  

Blaine is trying very hard to make them the old married couple he wants them to be (which is no shade on Blaine!).  He’s singing old timey songs, and basically trying to show his love through acts of servitude, and kind of trying to ignore the nagging feeling that Kurt’s unhappy about it.  

Blaine is a giver by nature, and wants to make Kurt happy, and he thinks if he can be the perfect boyfriend (because he wasn’t before, made a mistake, didn’t take into account that Kurt really was part of that issue, and blames himself for the relationship woes) that his relationship with Kurt will be fine.  The problem is that Blaine is losing himself in the relationship -- trying to be the person he thinks Kurt wants him to be, and the person his own imagination thinks he should be, instead of the person he really is.  

The other thing is that Blaine is a bit clingy.  There’s nothing wrong with wanting to spend time with your significant other.  But Blaine wants to spend every waking moment with Kurt so they can share their magical journey together.  You see -- in high school, they were joined at the hip, and did do a lot of things together.  But they also had a lot of time apart.  They both had groups of friends to do things with, and different households to go home to.  But now, all aspects of their life are jammed into that little loft.  And for Blaine, it’s fine, (though it’s not - he has to learn how to be an individual person, too), but Kurt is struggling with it. 

Here’s the part where I do need to bring up Blaine and his homelife.  Blaine being who he is - is somewhat just his personality.  But part of it is also his homelife.  We can infer that unlike the Hummel household, Blaine’s family wasn’t exactly ones to unconditionally supportive in the same way.  He always had to compete for attention (and possibly love) with Cooper.  He has always felt that no matter how ‘good’ he is -- he’s a failure.  And he is, by far, his own worst critic.  These are things that Kurt cannot fix for him, and while Kurt can continue to love and support him, Blaine himself has to reach a belief that he is a worthy individual of love, support, and happiness.  

Also, because Blaine is trying so hard to make life perfect for Kurt, he’s not being able to make his own experience uniquely his own.  He tries to find a cute couch -- but it’s rejected (rightfully because bed bugs, but still).  He tries to make himself a space in the loft, but Kurt shuts that down.  Everything is about how Kurt thinks and feels, and because Blaine’s giving in on these things, he starts to go inward on himself, and thus they fight over dumb things.  (Kurt needs to learn how to share and compromise, Blaine needs to learn to stand up for himself and his own wants and needs.)  

As an aside, Blaine isn’t really jealous of Elliott -- that’s a bit of displaced anger.  But going to Elliott does help (wise sage that he is), and while that convo is a little weird, there is some good advice in Elliott saying you have to figure out who you are, and maybe not be so clingy.  Boundaries are good and don’t lose yourself in the relationship. 

So, about their decision to live apart -- my Kurt meta had a good paragraph: 

I’d also like to mention that Kurt isn’t really thrilled with Blaine’s idea.  He doesn’t want Blaine to leave, but he recognizes that something has to change.  Unfortunately, they’re still young and growing and don’t have the tools or experience to figure out how to fix what’s wrong.  So - in a way, I get this solution.  Blaine doesn’t know how to give Kurt emotional space - so let’s try physical instead.  

Blaine wants to fix the situation, so it’s no surprise that Blaine is the one to comp up with the solution.  It’s not great (honestly, they should have moved out and found their own place but alas tv show logic), but it’ll have to work for now.  Blaine is more interested in salvaging his relationship the only way he can try to.  Unfortunately there are some other, bigger issues going on, but for now, they’ve come up with something that might help.  

Bash

It’s a shame we don’t get more Blaine during this episode, because I think it’s really important.  There’s a story here about the frustrations a gay couple can have when one of them is going through a major trauma, and the other can only sit and wait to see how it turns out -- adding in outside factors such as, hospitals not allowing the partner to visit because they aren’t legally “family”.  

So, one of Blaine’s biggest fears is losing Kurt.  And this time he does to an external power.  Blaine, who likes to control things just about as much as Kurt, feels like he should be able to protect Kurt no matter what, and comes out of this episode feeling like it’s his duty to do that.  

You see, Blaine doesn’t think he’ll survive very well if anything ever happened to Kurt, and kind of ignoring the fact that Kurt kinda jumped into the fight himself, Blaine decides that he’ll do everything in his power to ‘save’ him.  Problem is, that’s not at all what Kurt wants or needs....  Which will be discussed more in the next episode. 

Meanwhile, Blaine manages to piss off Carmen Tibideaux with he and Rachel’s little duet idea.  Not liking anyone mad at him, he does go retake the final (or whatever it is), and pours his own fears and sadness into the song.  I do kind of wonder if Blaine’s involvement in this is a slight nod that Blaine won’t be finishing his college career at NYADA.  (Which is fine - the school is utter shit.) 

Tested

Okay, god.  Here’s the Kurt Meta because this is one really complicated episode that I won’t do justice in the little blurb I’m going to write here.  There’s A LOT going on, and it’s helpful in understanding the story as a whole, and I do write about both their sides in the Kurt Meta. 

So, here we are -- Blaine is trying to make Kurt’s New York life and experience perfect, and he kind of ignores his own.  But, he is indulging himself (as young people in new places often do) and not taking care of his physical health either.  He does gain some weight (or Glee tries to suggest that he does), and this latches on to his insecurities from before.  

A lot of this episode’s issues comes down to identity --- Blaine saw himself as the White Knight in Shiny Armor -- the one who protected Kurt from Karofsky, and made him smile.  The one who was the prince who got to give the other prince the Happily Ever After.  The problem, though, is all of this is magical fairy tale talk that doesn’t work in the real world.  

Kurt isn’t a delicate flower who needs rescuing.  He is very physically fit, and is seen as attractive by other people.  And Kurt is trying to find his own, individual identity that isn’t solely connected to Blaine.  All of this activates Blaine’s major insecurity about being rejected -- about not being loved enough.  He doesn’t understand that he doesn’t have to be the person who another person needs for them to love him.  He can just be the person who someone wants.  But Blaine has a very hard time with this concept.  His value of himself is wrapped up in how much he thinks he’s needed, which of course, causes all the problems.  

What’s making it worse is that Blaine begins to manipulate the situation -- trying to make Kurt ‘need’ him again, which is very unhealthy (don’t do that guys!).  But also starts to do what he always does, and we see a repeat of the issues had back in season 3/4.  Blaine starts to pull away physically because he fears he’s not good enough, and in turn, Kurt pulls away emotionally, and it’s just a downward spiral that they keep doing.  

The thing that Blaine is not doing is expressing how he actually feels to Kurt.  When he finally does that at the end of the episode, when he reaches out and says ‘hey I need help’ Kurt is finally there for him.  (Yes, Kurt is still pissed, but at the end of the day, Kurt is not wrong about the fact that he’ll never stop loving blaine -- no matter what happens.)  The problem is, no matter how many times Kurt can say it, or even show it, until Blaine actually trusts him, it’s never going to work.  

As an aside -- one of the reasons I think the second break up actually was good for them, is that Blaine learns how to love himself, and live with himself, after Kurt’s gone.  He’s too attached to defining his self worth based on what Kurt thinks of him -- and that’s not healthy.

(Also, I encourage you to read the Tested Meta -- there is so much to dig into in this episode!) 

Opening Night

There really isn’t much Blaine in this episode - but we do see him use his acts of service love language towards Rachel.  Usually, she’s much better in her response, though.  

I also want to point out that it’s Blaine’s idea to go to the gay bar.  I’m all for Blaine starting to learn where his places in the city are.  Makes me wonder if Kurt and Blaine frequented there together, of this was a Blaine only thing.  Hmm.  

The Back-Up Plan

So... the June Dolloway stuff.  Okay.  

June plays to Blaine’s romantic ideals of what life as a successful performer would be.  And, as we’ve talked about, Blaine’s self worth is based on the idea of how much people need him (or want to use him).  So, he kind of falls into June’s trap, and lets her try to mould him into who she thinks he is.  The problem is, that entails getting rid of Kurt.  But a big part of who Blaine is - is loving Kurt.  

There’s also the issue of competition again (which came up in Tested, too) that I kind of roll my eyes at.  I’m not going to say that Hollywood, or the performing arts, isn’t competitive.  Because it is, in a lot of ways.  However, I feel like media and society are often the ones pushing that narrative.  You can be successful and still support your friends and love ones.  

There’s an entire conversation to be had about how art is subjective, and this idea that this painting is better than that one is just kind of stupid, so all of these fancy awards for things are really, often times, just rich or powerful people stating what they think is the “best” and puts a false equivalency on things that can’t or shouldn’t be pit next to each other.  

So, this whole idea that Blaine is ‘winning’ because June picked him is just -- whatever, Glee.  The thing that I do like, however, is the fact that, despite Kurt being disappointed in the situation, he is still supportive of Blaine and his career.  The thing that I think is a bit contrived is Blaine’s eagerness to please everyone leads him to lie to Kurt instead of be honest about what’s going on with June.  But alas, television. 

However, as we’ve talked about earlier -- Blaine’s ultimate goal is to make everyone happy at the expense of his own happiness, so it isn’t out of nowhere that Blaine would try to please June and Kurt at the same time, in an attempt to ‘fix’ everything before someone rejects him. 

Old Dogs, New Tricks

So... this episode really isn’t about Blaine or the Klaine issues at all.  Chris was perhaps wise (and maybe mandated a little) not to even get into it.  

The thing, though, we do see is that Blaine’s spending a lot of time on his fantasy career ideas with June.  He does recognize that Kurt isn’t really happy with life, and while the Klaine issues will eventually hit the fan, that’s not what this episode is about.  It’s about Kurt trying to find his own place, and make his own happiness, when everyone around him is becoming more successful.  It’s really not Blaine’s issue -- and I’m glad Chris didn’t make it out to be.  

Instead, Blaine plays the supportive partner here, and while they do need to work more of their shit out, I’m glad they do get a softer, and more emotionally aware moment here.  

The Untitled Rachel Berry Project

So, Kurt mentions in this episode that he and Blaine have had some long conversations about their relationship.  And while I’m sure that’s true (probably a lot after Tested), I do have to wonder if Blaine wasn’t listening as well as he should have been.  I think, in order to preserve things, Blaine probably nodded along, and took more notes on how to be the world’s perfect boyfriend, while maybe not actually comprehending some of the issues Kurt laid out.  All the while, I’m guessing that Blaine didn’t express many of his wants or needs, in order to not rock the boat.  Unfortunately, all of this holding back, on both their parts, comes back to haunt them. 

The big lie comes out, that Kurt isn’t in the showcase, and this plays a lot on Kurt’s insecurities, partly about being a failed performer, and a lot about his trust issues with Blaine from the last time they broke up.  Blaine is the type of guy who tries to make everything perfect until he literally can’t anymore, and he’s left there being forced to tell the truth, even though he knows it’ll hurt himself and Kurt.  And while this, normally, would be a minor thing, because of their past history -- this self-imposed forced disappointment is what he expects.  Because he believes that sooner or later, he’s going to eventually disappoint everyone he loves, and they will eventually leave him.  

The thing is -- Blaine has a tendency to push people away, because he thinks that’s what he deserves.  But interestingly, Kurt comes back to him -- and they talk about it.  

And, I’m just gonna quote my Kurt Meta cause I don’t feel like writing it all out, but the Klaine scene here is important! 

So - yeah, let’s break this down…  Kurt’s pretty stiff when he comes to Blaine, arms crossed, looking forward out at the birds and not at Blaine.  He’s thought through is anger, but these kind of conversations are still hard for Kurt.  But then there’s Blaine – who outright says to him that the showcase doesn’t mean anything without Kurt – that /Kurt/ is more important to him than his career.  And Kurt visibly relaxes when he hears this.  Because its confirmation of something he does already know – that Blaine really does love him.  He seems to fuck it up, but he loves him.  And it’s something Kurt really did need to hear again.  

(Obviously vise versa needs to happen, too, but more on that in a second.)

So - Kurt goes on talking about birds, and builds this elaborate metaphor around them – about how taking a step out of the nest is freakin’ scary, but you can’t stay in that nest forever – at some point you have to trust that you can fly.  And even if you fall and hit the ground, you have to keep on trying.  

Well, Kurt comes to the smart conclusion that relationships are like his bird metaphor – you can’t have a relationship unless there is implicit trust there as a foundation.  And he’s learned, the hard way, that yeah, sometimes one of them is going to fuck up and they will hit the ground like a stone, but if you hold on to your faith that it’ll be all fine in the end – that you can help each other out keep that solid foundation, it’ll be okay.  Because at the end of the day, you can’t ever be 100% that someone won’t hurt you again, you can’t control anyone else but yourself (oohh and Kurt letting go of complete control is huge - HUGE).  

And yeah, yeah this little speech is nice and all but what about what’s about to happen? What about the second break up?  Do you guys remember in Dance With Somebody when Blaine says to Kurt - if you’re unhappy talk to me don’t cheat on em?  Well - this is almost the inverse of that.  Kurt says to Blaine that you don’t even know if or when someone’s going to break that trust – and this is true, because yeah, Kurt is going to fuck it up not that long after this conversation.  

But this is a resolution to the original issue back in season 4 – Kurt’s finally understanding that in order for this thing to work, he has to choose to trust Blaine.  Blaine can’t instill that in him – it’s something Kurt has to do for himself.  And for better or worse, he does choose to trust Blaine, to love Blaine, to let Blaine in implicitly.  Blaine has been desperately trying to break through Kurt’s shell since the whole cheating incident, get back into that place in Kurt’s heart.  But what Blaine doesn’t know - or realize - and what Kurt’s just figuring out himself, is that it’s not about Blaine’s ability – it’s about Kurt allowing it to happen.  

Kurt doesn’t let people into his world, past is exterior, implicitly into his heart – but on a smaller scale, this whole June ordeal kind of just puts things into perspective.  Yeah – he was mad about Blaine’s lie – but he realizes that the way Kurt was acting about it, he was going to be hurt either way.  And he can be mad and be angry, but at the end of the day, they all have choices to make, and Kurt makes the decision to still stand by Blaine through the hard stuff as well as the easy stuff.  

(But what about season 6? Well – we’ll talk about that when we get there ;))

I will say this – Kurt never breaks his promise about loving Blaine no matter what.  Even through the stupidity of the second breakup, it’s really not because he doesn’t love Blaine.  That’ll always be apart of him, and the more they go on, the more he understands his own heart will always feel that way.  

Meanwhile – Kurt actually can be (gasp) a loving and supportive partner.  Yeah, it’s hard on him to feel unwanted by June – he’s been fighting that fight since forever.  But he is proud of Blaine, wants Blaine to fly incredibly high – and much like way back when in season 3 with Tony – he’ll be there giving Blaine flowers and telling him how amazing he is.  Which is reassurance that Blaine needs, but doesn’t always get.  

(I realize that’s mostly Kurt’s POV - but it covers what’s going on with Blaine, too.)  

The thing though, while Kurt’s learning what it means to trust again, Blaine really just wants everything to be fine.  And gives in to Kurts wants and needs immediately.  The one problem, really, that’s still lingering is the fact that Blaine is still only defining himself through his relationship, and that’s not good, and is part of the reason Kurt’s going to pull away, and ultimately break up with him, the second time.  

But, we do end the season on a happy note.  Blaine, feeling the love and support from Kurt, is able to stand up to June, and is able to have a moment for himself, where he gets to express his true self, in the form of showing everyone his love for Kurt at the showcase.  We also get a moment of a small step forward when Kurt let’s Blaine have a bit of the loft -- a small space to call his own.  

Yes, ultimately it’s going to break down again, but it’s a first step.  By the end of the season, Blaine and Kurt have started to learn what being in a real, adult relationship is like, but ultimately, for Blaine, he needs to learn to be okay with himself first and foremost, and that is what Season 6 was about... 

If you’d like to continue on, here’s the Season 6 Blaine Meta! 

I know there are things I didn’t get into -- like Blaine’s relationship with Sam, but idk, I don’t think there was much to pick apart there.  

If you guys have any questions on specific things, let me know! :) 

#blaine anderson #that's how s.o. sees it #Anonymous #season 5 is really unresolved for blaine in a lot of ways #poor kiddo

[residentlesbrarian]

The Fourth Book I Read In the Dark: Of Expectations and Other Relatabilities

Of Gryphons and Other Monsters by Shannon McGee

Hey, guys, sooooo...this is aaaawwwkward. I wrote 95% of this review when I wrote the other Books I Read in the Dark series for the blog, but the ADHD hit me and COVID was still you know...a thing! So I am gonna post this review, finished of course, OH, but also pay extra close attention to the conclusion alright! Hmm...this is a bit like a time capsule...here are my concentrated thoughts from 6 months ago while I was slightly delirious on books and darkness. So go forth and uh yeah this one is...you can just feel the feral “I haven’t had access to proper internet so I’ve been curled in the corner like Gollum with my books” energy coming off it so...enjoy?

Okay, so yeah, I really didn’t have a reason to end my last review that way I just wanted to, so sue me for injecting a little excitement into a series of posts about me literally sitting in my house reading nonstop for 2 ½ days, my reviews my rules. Back to manufacturing my own excitement shall we!

It’s Day 2! I’ve just finished my last library book, whatever will I do! I could always reread The Neverending Story for the 1,273rd time, but I have a need. A need for GAY! I rack my brain, there has to be a solution. My town is without power, my local library won’t be open, but then it hits me. It’s so simple! It’s meant to be really! Like the universe knew this was coming and it made sure I was prepared! Like a prepper stockpiling mental SPAM for my stimulus needing ADHD riddled brain! I have an entire shelf of books that I haven’t read yet! Way back in Clexacon 2019 my best friend (Lookin at you @justalifelongphase) gave me way too much money from missed birthdays and Christmases all at once before the con started because the world has deemed it impossible for us to live geographically close to one another. Anyway, I went a little book-buying-crazy and have not had the time or opportunity to read any of them since then. Their time has finally come!

I figured after going full whimsy with The Lost Coast and sci-fi superhero with Dreadnought and Sovereign why not take a dip into more traditional fantasy, also this one was first in line on the shelf, yay for not having to actually make a decision! No more dawdling, let's get right into the review!

Unicorn Rating:

Blurb: Taryn always loves and hates gryphon season. She finds the lesser gryphons more cute than anything but the ever present fear that a greater gryphon might be just out of sight is terrifying, and this gryphon season proves to be the one that will change her and her families lives forever! Just let a girl herd her sheep in peace!

Disclaimer: I will try my best to not spoil anything from the book, but my book loving rambles may give more away than a traditional review. Here we go! Ramble time!

Review:

I genuinely enjoyed this book. It took me a bit longer to get through it than the others, but I think that was a combination of three things: A. I was starting to feel the fatigue of reading so much in such a short amount of time. B. Our local Wal Mart had power restored on Day 3 and our entire household went on a trip to buy non-perishable food stuffs and I was like a solitary confinement prisoner being let out into the yard for the first time in months when my phone picked up a wifi signal and it was a bit hard to get back into the swing of reading after talking to other humans, even virtually, that weren’t imaginary or in my head. C. Our power was finally restored on the afternoon of Day 3 so yet again I was inundated with the draw of technology and all of my friend-os I hadn’t talked to, but the book had drawn me in enough I did the most unmillienial thing and left my phone in a different room to charge while I finished this book before going back to the land of technology and interwebs. That should tell you something.

McGee was able to write this story in a way that pulls you in so you care about what happens to these characters and this little mountain town. You learn just enough about the world to understand where they fit within the overall weave of it, but you aren’t given a Tolkein-esc dissertation on the world lore. I felt the worries and the fears. I was concerned when the routines had to change. I mean she made me care about the freaking sheep! Sheep, people! One of the reasons I think this works so well is we are so firmly rooted in the head of our protagonist, Taryn. Imma use that lovely bridge I just built to skip right on over the plot section of the review to get to the characters first, don’t worry we’ll circle back round to the plot. I always do, but I just wanna talk about my newest set of brain babies.

Taryn is a character that, if the title of this post is anything to go by, I found very very relatable. Now I know relatability can be pretty subjective, some people can latch onto something with the all consuming, “It me!” While others just stare on dead eyed not understanding the appeal. I feel like Taryn could be that kind of protagonist. You are either going to really relate to her or you won’t understand where she is coming from at all. I obviously fall in the former category. I was the quintessential middle child, still am really, though my relationship with my parents has shifted now that I’m an adult. More mutual respect and friendship than parent to child. I always did my best to pick up the slack, if ever there was any, and just tried my best to be as little of a burden as possible to my parents. I see so much of that aspect of myself in Taryn and how she sees her place at the farm and even in the town, she has her place and her role, but those expectations are heavy. One of those expectations being that she will inevitably get married and help take over the farm from her parents and have kids to continue the line. The fact she finds the lesser gryphons that flock near the farm far cuter than any of the local boys that she will eventually have to choose from to fulfill that inevitable expectation is just...sad at best and down right tragic at worst. And her family doesn’t help matters either. They won’t let her forget that she will have to settle down with one of these local boys, a boy who would make a good husband and take good care of her and the farm. She knows that, logically, but she also wants to be in love, like her parents, and she just doesn’t feel like that for any of the boys in town. She doesn’t know how to make those two things line up. It’s a struggle between her head, the obligation of what she has to do, and her heart, what she really wants for her future, to be happy in doing what she has to do. Wow, I went off a little bit there, but this was my long winded way of saying I have never read a protagonist that really captured the utter confusion of being raised in a heteronormative environment without it being drenched in internalized homophobia and fear. Protagonists like this seem to always know something is off but just don’t have the words for it so they just hide it because they know it’s “different” and out of the norm, but Taryn is just livin’ her sheep herding life and ain’t got no time for these boy crazy fools. She knows her mom wants her to find a good boy to court her so she can marry someday but she’s still young. She’ll think about that tomorrow, and she just repeats that ad infinitum. The thought that maybe she doesn’t fancy any of the boys because well...girls...never even occurred to her. It's not how things are done in this small mountain town, not because of homophobia reasons, but just stubborn tradition reasons. We are even told there is a gay couple living in town who are staples in the overall dynamics in town, instrumental even, but the idea of having a lineage, being able to pass your land down is so ingrained no wonder poor Taryn was so in the dark about her own probable gayness till it slapped her in the face. As someone who was raised in a medium sized Oklahoma town...girl I feel you. I was 22 and in the middle of Appalacia, way up in the mountains for college when my gay awakening popped up and said “Hello!” Everything that never quite made sense in my life came into perfect clarity. Not quite what happened with Taryn, but the arrival of Aella surely helped, as pretty girls are want to do. Oh look a segue, good, cause I could talk about Taryn for literal hours and I’ve already gabbed about her too much for this review.

Aella, you smooth motherfucker. Like I wish I could possess a quarter of the smoothness that you do. Like I’m lucky to string sentences together around a pretty girl, but here you are just strutting about being the smoothest of smooth. Honestly, I just...I can’t with you Aella. On a serious note though Aella is a character that served as showing Taryn a glimpse at the world beyond her small mountain town, as much as she had no desire to leave, unlike her brother. Nope, sit down, we’ll get to you, Michael! Oh, we’ll get to you. She’s traveled and has stories from all over and she is fairly open about the fact that she only likes girls, but she doesn’t have land, responsibilities, and a family line to continue. She just gets to live her life the way she choses. And y’all know I am a sap for the hard dark characters that are totally softies underneath that rough exterior. I think Aella was a great foil to Taryn and great at showing her what she could have if she was willing to leave, to stretch what she was allowed to wish for, but of course the biggest issue with her wishing for anything was...Michael.

Michael was such an interesting character. I loved him. I hated him. I wanted to hug him. I wanted to punch him. Again as with the town and the people of the town I was so deep seated in Taryn’s head and feelings that her conflicted feelings about Michael and how he was acting became my feelings on the matter. Not enough to not separate a tad and see what was coming or at least try to predict it as I always do when reading, but emotionally I was right with Taryn the whole way. The one thing that really pushed Michael from just a character I was conflicted about to one I really wanna give a swift kick in the nads to, is that he knew. He knew all about Taryn’s absolute lack of romantic inclinations toward any of the boys in town and her doubts that she would ever find someone to love and marry to take over the farm. He was the only person she confided these fears in and he still selfishly followed his own pursuits with little regard to her or her worries. You sir, are a terrible brother and overall a shit human, so sit your ass down and shut your mouth.

The plot for this book was so embroiled with the characters and their journeys that I can’t talk on it much but the twists at the end and the final climax was very satisfying for me and left me excited to dig into the next book. Also something of note that I didn’t talk about in the character section cause I felt it was dragging on a touch, I really only talked in depth on our three biggest players but there is a very colorful cast of side characters ranging from Taryn’s nervous pony to the boy-who-cried-gryphon neighbor no one can stand to the troupe of hunters led by Aella’s mother to Taryn’s best friend Nia, all of whom play important parts in building that sense of caring about the people of this town and the town itself, which in turn made me deeply care about the outcome of the plot at the heart of the story. And the sheep! The god damn sheep!

One thing I do want to say before my final thoughts is that whoever designed the cover of this book in a genius because as I dug into the story I found myself constantly closing it to spout off about theories of what I thought was happening on the cover and what it all meant, I was kind of reader fatigue delirious for most of those theories but some of them I was right! I might have reenacted the Captain Holt “Vindication” gif IRL just because it felt too good not to. I just love when a “cool” cover turns out to be so much more than that once you’re “in the know”. So yeah, now y’all know to pay attention for that.

My final thoughts on this book are pretty positive. I can tell the author is building us toward so much more, hence the name of the series, Taryn’s Journey, and it feels like it. This is only the beginning and I honestly can’t wait to take the next steps with her.

Queer Wrap-up:

Hey it’s me from the future...present...whatever...so, this is when I stopped writing the review six months ago and there is a reason for that. I, kind of, agonized over what to rate this book on the scale. Multiple times having to call my brother and go back and forth just to then repeat the same arguments with myself as soon as I got off the phone. Now why was this such a hard terrible no good awful back and forth well...SPOILER WARNING...seriously anything past this point will be spoiling some character beats for the majority of the book...okay? We understand one another. DANGER ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE...or you know scroll on.

So, Taryn is never confirmed to be queer in the text of this book. Now you would have to be wearing the tightest hetero goggles in known history not to see the heavy HEAVY subtext saying THIS BITCH GAY! It’s basically a full grown elephant painted sparkly rainbow trying to hide behind a dead shrub aka not hiding at all. I so desperately wanted to give this book four of those darling unicorns but in this rare case I just don’t think I can justify it. We have a protagonist that is still figuring herself out, which is amazing that we get to see that and go on the journey with her. Some of the things Taryn does and thinks are queer coded as hell, especially if it involves Aella who is explicitly gay on the page, but Taryn herself never express whether she herself is queer. Which, fair, other really important and traumatizing things were going on and I love that about her as a character, she didn’t meet Aella and suddenly that was all she could think about. Aella, of course, is representation who I’m counting because even though she shows obvious interest (you smooth motherfucker) in Taryn she is so much more than just a love interest and her character isn’t just boiled down to her sexuality. Now in this wrap up I’m also including the doctor and his husband in the town. They are very minor characters but they give us interesting insights into the town and the people. They are accepted and treated well in town even if some do almost, pity isn’t the right word, but they seem sad that they won’t be able to have any kind of legacy or lineage. As I said in the review it’s not homophobia it’s being stuck in your ways and it’s an interesting take.

Links:

Shannon McGee Website

The Storygraph

Okay so this one is a bit of a mess. Pieces of it were written 6 months apart and most of it was written while I was kind of delirious but hey at least I can say it’s honest. I still stand by everything my past self wrote and I still really enjoy thinking and talking about this book and am excited for whenever I get around to reading the sequel to continue on Tayrn’s journey with her. This is a book I probably would never have known even existed without ClexaCon and trolling through artist alley for literally every table that had books on them. I guess, moral of the day is maybe you won’t just find great books on library shelves but on unassuming convention tables too and it never hurts to look. Trust me, I’m a lesbrarian.

Oh bet you thought this post was over. I did the sign off and everything but oh no no! I have some info and such to impart. I am WELL AWARE these reviews have been fairly inconsistent to down right sporadic. Well, this is just a little info dump letting you guys know I am gonna be putting up one more review after this one that I wrote ages ago and I mean AGES (think years, as in multiple) and just never got around to posting and then the old blog is probably gonna be going through a PLANNED dormancy while some pretty big stuff is coming down the pike. You may notice visual changes and other stuff before anything else is announced but just keep an eye out. To quote the Fates from Hercules, “It’s gonna be big!”

Okay now for the actual sign off, I got shit to do! No one look behind the curtain, it’s a surprise!

#Of Gryphons and Other Monsters #Shannon McGee #resident lesbrarian #3 unicorns #questioning girl #lesbian #heavy wlw romantic subtext #ya novel #ya fantasy #go to your local library #but wear a mask #and wash your hands #and stay 6 feet apart #be safe out there guys gals and nonbinary pals

[citadelspires]

Finally Following Through On Explaining That MP100 Lumity AU

Aight so a few days ago I promised to describe the basic layout for this Mob Psycho 100 Lumity AU I’ve been thinking about. This is that.

A marginal bit of context up front. You don’t need to have watched MP100 in order to understand any of the things I’m about to say, but I do recommend watching it anyway because it’s a wonderful show and an absolutely essential experience. Anyway, for those who haven’t watched MP100 this is all the context you need, for those who have you can just skip to the next paragraph. All y’all need to know is that MP100 features people called espers and they all have these vaguely defined "psychic powers." The actual abilities tied to these powers vary from person to person, some people just have telekinesis, some people have special moves and abilities they've trained, there are people with fire, people who are really fast, a dude who's psychically reinforced a plastic sword to be infinitely sharp and durable, just, loads of stuff. All espers have the ability to see spirits, which are, ya know, the spirits of people who have died, though the level at which their humanity is still intact varies. As a general rule the more powerful you were in life (particularly in the psychic capacity) the more powerful your spirit is. Aight now to the actual stuff.

We’re gonna start with the Blight family cause they were the first people I really got figured out for this thing so it’s just fitting.  The Blight family has had at least one powerful esper per generation as far back as anyone can remember. They're an overwhelming presence in the esper community of the city they live in, though most people without psychic powers aren't really aware of their existence, as the Blights have always viewed themselves as above regular humans. For this reason a long time ago the Blight family gathered with a group of other powerful esper families to found a school exclusively for young espers so their children would not have to associated with "the ungifted." In the time since the family has relinquished a good deal of its hold over the school, having deemed directly running it a waste of their resources, as long it sticks around they don't really care. That being said they still hold a large amount of authority in the community. 

 Edric and Emira are both naturally gifted espers who've never had trouble demonstrating their powers and the 'superiority over the rest of the humans' that their parents desired. The only setback they've faced is that they trained and developed their powers together a bit too much. See, Edric has trained his whole life in using his psychic powers to create projections aka illusions, and Emira has power-based abilities, in which she can give Edric's illusions the full force of their imagined attacks. Separately neither of them can make or do anything worthwhile but together they're top students. Fortunately they've been able to hide that drawback from everybody so far.

Amity, on the other hand, has never displayed any sign of even the potential for psychic powers. Her parents consider her to be both a failure to the entire family and their greatest embarrassment. That didn't stop them from enrolling her in a school exclusively for people with psychic powers though, cause they would much rather force Amity to find some way to lie and cheat around her entire life than reveal to the world they have a talentless daughter. They force Amity to become friends with children of their choosing, who will help her cover up her 'failure' and they assign Ed and Em to watch out for her and make sure she doesn't 'destroy the Blight family name.'

That’s about all the background for her thing, and I’ll get to what Luz is up to in a moment, but first I’m gonna make a momentary stop to talk about Willow (and kind of Gus). Willow is also an esper, though she honestly would rather not be. She enjoys the affinity with plants that she's built up over the years but she'd trade it in a heartbeat if it meant she would get to go back to normal school instead  of this fancy esper school with all these stuck up superpowered narcist teenagers who hate her. The only reason she even goes anymore is because she doesn't want to disappoint her parents, who were just so proud of her when her powers developed. Though one day she did ditch school to go visit a normal high school, just to see what it was like. There she met Gus, who happened to be the only member of a fanclub for espers, on account of everyone else in the school doesn't believe in espers and think he's crazy. Well, there was this other girl but... She’s not around anymore. Anyway so Willow befriends Gus and shows him some of her plant affinity thing and he thinks it's amazing, and Willow has a pretty terrible lack of people her age who think anything she does is remotely notable, much less amazing, so she and Gus develop a friendship pretty quickly.

Aight, now finally onto the main event, Luz and Lumity. So Spotlight on our girl Luz, who just so happens to be a spirit at the moment. I'm not sure what actually happened to her to, ya know, unalive her, but it sure did happen. Still, she managed to hold on to the world long enough to form as a spirit, just through sheer willpower and certainty that she wasn't done yet. Essentially she dies and starts to drift off but like right before everything fades to black she just like, jolts back up like 'hey no absolutely not I had dreams and a family and there is so much going on here that I am going to see and do and nobody can stop me.' And, as Luz do, she decides to focus on the positive bits of this instead. 

 See, cause back when she was alive our girl happened to be something of an esper enthusiast. And the thing about being a huge nerd about espers is that she managed to do some digging on the notable espers of the area. So, naturally, she found out about the Blight family. And she just so happened to find out about Amity specifically while she was at it, and perhaps she had discovered this information about a girl her age belonging to the most important esper family of the city and decided that this girl would be her rival in the field of becoming the best esper she could be, despite, admittedly, not knowing how to make the esper part even happen in the first place.

So, now with a spirit body not bound by the laws of physics and other such inconvenient matters, she searches out the Blight manor, intent on finding Amity, this whole preconceived notion in her head about how this is all going to go, some fanficitony plot unfolding in her imagination about how once they were bitter rivals but now Luz will have to convince her to work with her so she can achieve her dream still.

But when she gets to the manor she finds it warded against spirits. Not to be deterred, she waits outside the gates for Amity and latches onto her backpack, waiting for a good time to reveal herself to Amity, though she questions a bit why the girl doesn't see her in the first place. She hides with Amity all day, surviving a whole day in a school full of espers who could exorcise her with a flick of their finger, solely because she was with The Amity Blight, and anyone who noticed her energy just assumed Amity knew what she was doing and left her alone. The drawback to this, though, was that Luz kinda got directly smacked in the face by her preconceived notions of what Amity would be like, and while initially she had intended to reveal herself to Amity in order to ask for help, after seeing her be rude and pretentious to literally everyone all day she instead reveals herself to basically just yell at Amity and get really mad. Fortunately for Amity she's not an esper so she can't see spirits anyway.

Except the thing is. She's walking home by herself, like she always does, and then she starts to hear this whispering coming from nowhere, getting louder and louder, until eventually she just hears someone yell her name out of nowhere. See, Amity had never seen a spirit before, but also, a spirit had never gone out of its way to appear to her before. Essentially Luz accidentally reached out to her and lit the spark of her dormant psychic powers (everyone has at least some level of psychic powers sleeping within them it's kind of a whole thing). So Amity spends the entire time Luz is yelling at her just, staring open mouthed at this spirit that appeared for her out of nowhere after 14 years of hell. She doesn't even acknowledge any of the stuff Luz said about her, she was far too overwhelmed by just the fact that after being a failure her whole life she suddenly wasn't, at least, not entirely.

Luz eventually notices that she is getting far from the anticipated reaction and she quiets down. At that point the two talk things out and, while Luz is still seriously disappointed in the person Amity turned out to be, she doesn't have any better ideas of who to talk to, she kind of needs someone to be her communication piece to the real world at this point, and Amity finally has something she can use to actually do things with her 'psychic powers.' Cause they've been awakened now, yeah, but she quickly realizes she can see Luz and Only Luz. So the two of them begrudgingly work together, each kind of starting off mutually aware that they're just using the other for their own goals, and being perfectly okay with that.

So that's the general relationship dynamic between the two of them at the start, and eventually they get to know each other better. Amity stops viewing Luz as a spirit and starts learning more about the person she was before she died. (Amity just calls her "spirit" for like, at least the first week. The first time she uses Luz' name is a whole thing). Meanwhile Luz learns more about what Amity's life is like behind the scenes and everything that's happened to her.

#Lumity #The Owl House #Luz Noceda #Amity Blight #Willow Park #Mob Psycho 100

[artificialqueens]

The Blue Neighborhood Series: SUBURBIA (Group) - Mac

AN: A million and one thanks to everyone who has been here for this journey, I cannot thank you enough for your support and comments and love. I’m so thankful to have you guys and I hope this last chapter lives up to your expectations.

All my love to Meggie for betaing. All my love to Alex who made me actually start writing this series a year ago. All my love to Barbie for letting me bounce ideas off of her.

All my love to you all reading this. <3

Summary: The girls of the Blue Neighborhood grew up together. Playing in the streets, trading secrets, and falling in love.

And maybe, just maybe, they can forgive each other.

Rock bit back a smile as she heard footsteps bounding up the stairs to the prop room.

A week ago she would have scuttled into the far corner and hid until the person left, but now, as Aiden’s flushed face appeared in the doorway, Rock felt only a trace of nervousness.

“What’s up, bitch?” Aiden said by way of greeting.

Rock rolled her eyes, but patted the cool stone floor beside her, motioning for the other girl to sit. Aiden took her spot silently, the two falling into a sort of semi-comfort that they had developed over the past weeks.

Rock pulled out her phone, instinctively tapping through the screen to pull up the next episode of Sailor Moon.

She felt rather than heard Aiden’s complaint from beside her. “We are not watching this garbage again,” the dark-haired girl said, making a grab for the phone in Rock’s hand. But Rock had been anticipating this, and snatched her hand away in the nick of time, ratcheting up the volume a few notches to drown out Aiden’s groan of defeat.

“You were the one who busted up into my lunch spot. You can either bite your tongue or find another place to hide from everyone who’s pissed at you,” Rock retorted. “Also, don’t pretend you don’t like it, I see the way you look at Neptune, you fucking lesbian.”

Aiden rolled her eyes, but the corner of her mouth twitched up. “First of all, you’re a bitch. Second of all, shut up.”

Rock smirked. “I don’t hear you denying it.”

Aiden waved her hand dismissively. “Yeah, yeah, whatever, just play the damn show so I don’t have to hear you talk anymore.”

Rock smiled smugly to herself, pressing play and sinking back against the cold brick wall, Aiden’s warm presence heavy at her side.

The two watched in relative silence, save for Rock’s occasional need to info dump about a particular scene or character. Aiden rolled her eyes and gave her biting comments, but Rock could tell she appreciated the attention not being on her.

Ever since Aiden had been outed as the person behind the drama account, she had sunk even more into the background. Where before she would pipe in with snark and wit, now she sat back in silence, letting herself practically disappear in the horde.

Rock understood the feeling in a way.

Maybe that’s why they seemed to get along.

Aiden had stumbled up to the prop room one day, seeking asylum from her mistakes, and Rock had let her.

But questions still ate at her, bit at the tension in the air around them as they continued to watch in silence. Rock could feel them steadily bubbling to the surface, tempting her to ruin the peace she and Aiden had found.

She bit the bullet, pressing pause, noticing her breathing was coming out harsher than before.

“Why’d you do it?” she asked.

The question hung still in the air for a long while, so long that Rock nearly looked up to see if Aiden was still sitting beside her.

The older girl sighed, long and low. “You promised you wouldn’t bring it up.”

“Yeah.” Rock nodded, turning to meet Aiden’s eyes. “I lied.”

Aiden broke the contact, putting her head in her hands and letting out a shaky exhale. Rock expected her to leave, to lash out and storm away.

But Aiden just breathed in and out once more before lifting her head, staring at the stone floor intently. “My parents got divorced the summer before freshman year,” she said slowly, as if testing out the words on her tongue. “It came out of nowhere. There were no big fights or warning signs, just… divorce. And Mom never said why.”

Rock saw the other girl’s features soften the tiniest bit before harsh lines replaced them.

“We were happy. A happy, normal family. We played board games and went on camping trips and spent hours staring up at the clouds.” Aiden bit her lip harshly. “It came out of nowhere.”

She took a steadying breath before speaking again. “And then my dad got real sick. Couldn’t be on his own so he moved back in. And I couldn’t—” Aiden shook her head. “I didn’t know how to be there… in that house.”

“Everyday I would come back from school and I’d have lost a little more of him,” she practically whispered, voice suddenly hoarse and grating. “Mom did her best, caring for a man she didn’t love anymore, but she worked, and I went to school and… and… and we weren’t there for him.”

There was a beat of silence before Aiden spoke again. “I didn’t go home the week after he died. I slept in the theatre seats down there, showered in the locker rooms. Fuck.”

Rock didn’t know what to say, couldn’t imagine the pain and suffering that lived inside this girl she had known for so long.

Aiden’s expression hardened, but she still refused to look up from where her eyes were fixed on the floor. “That week I started noticing stuff. People doing shit they weren’t supposed to, shit that didn’t make sense.”

“The account wasn’t supposed to be anything serious, just a place to post dumb shit about the people who were dicks to me.”

Aiden finally turned to meet Rock’s gaze, her eyes wide and helpless. “I didn’t mean for it to get so out of hand, but all of a sudden people found it, and were sending the account other stuff. Confessions, kinks, teacher-student relationships and I-I didn’t know what to do.”

“And then I saw Gigi and Jaida,” Aiden exhaled shakily.

“And I remembered how hurt Crystal had been all those years ago, how hurt she still was about the whole thing. And I tried to bring it up to her, but she shot me down. And I tried to let it go, I really did.  But they just kept hooking up, and they weren’t even being secretive about it. And after three fucking years of hurting Crystal, I thought they deserved a little bit of shit for what they did.”

“So you posted the picture.” Rock nodded.

“Yeah.” Aiden sighed.

Rock took a deep breath in and out. “I didn’t know that, about your dad.”

“I didn’t tell anyone.” Aiden shook her head. “I didn’t want the pity. I didn’t want people… looking after me. It didn’t feel right since I didn’t-I couldn’t look after him.”

Rock nodded. “That all must have been…” She paused. “Really overwhelming,” she said lightly, placing a gentle hand on Aiden’s shoulder.

Aiden scoffed, shrugging off Rock’s affection. “Why are you saying it like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like you…” Aiden floundered, “I dunno, understand. Like you’re not mad.”

Rock shook her head. “Oh, I’m mad,” she assured.

Aiden looked down to her fingers, toying with the laces of her shoes.

“But I get why you did it.”

Aiden shook her head, words coming out in a desperate whisper. “I’m not sure I do.”

“You want answers.” Rock shrugged. “That’s all any of us want. You want to know why your parents divorced, you want to know why people lie, you want to know how someone could cheat on someone else.”

Aiden looked up to meet Rock’s eyes, the first look of genuine vulnerability passing between them.

“You don’t get to know.” Rock smiled sadly. “You gotta suck it up like the rest of us and get comfortable with not knowing.”

Aiden’s gaze darted away, breaking eye contact again, but Rock didn’t stop. “You don’t get to make up a narrative and force other people to fit it. You wanna be emo and angsty and upset at the world, fine, you do that, but you don’t get to ruin other people’s lives just because you got dealt a shit hand in life.”

“Tough talk for a bitch hiding in a prop room,” Aiden snapped.

Rock chuckled. That’s the Aiden she knew. “In case it escaped your notice, you’re also up here hiding, dumbass.”

Aiden looked at Rock hard, walls up, defenses primed, ready to attack.

But then she laughed.

Really, genuinely laughed.

And she didn’t stop.

She didn’t stop until tears started streaming down her face, and she was hiccuping around sobs she desperately tried to fight off.

And Rock held her through it.

…

Brita couldn’t help a smile as she made her way down the hallway and through the open doors to the art room. She was met with a chorus of greetings that still managed to make her stomach flip.

She took up her usual seat next to Heidi, and the two began to trade the entirety of their respective lunches. They fell into easy conversation, as the couples on either side of the room were too absorbed in each other to pay them any mind.

Brita watched them out of the corner of her eye, blaming it on curiosity.  

Nicky and Crystal sat next to each other, smiling ear to ear and occasionally feeding each other bites of food like lovesick idiots.

“They’re so gross,” Heidi groaned from beside her.

The two girls in question whipped around to glare at her.

“I miss when you were both too gay to talk to each other. Can we go back to that? I miss that.” Heidi whined, stabbing at the pasta Brita brought with a fork.

Crystal raised a challenging brow at Heidi, and without breaking eye contact, which was a feat in and of itself, pulled Nicky in for an overly loud kiss.

Heidi scowled. “I hate y’all.”  

Brita laughed at the pair, but as their kiss became more heated, she turned her head, hoping to conceal the flush that ran the length of her neck.

She shook her head to clear it, mind suddenly muddled as she tried to piece together the feelings welling up inside her at such a public display. Her eyes flitted around the room, latching on to anything that could keep her attention.

She saw Gigi, who was perched on one of the tables, elbows resting atop her knees, head in her hands as Jackie rambled on about something to do with a new congresswoman who was ‘changing the political game.’

They seemed… comfortable. At ease around each other in a way that wasn’t unexpected, they had known each other their whole lives, yet Brita was still shocked when they announced they were dating. But now, looking at the two sharing gentle smiles over their respective lunches, Brita didn’t know why she never put the two together before. The pair was well-matched. Their quiet intimacy seeped into their conversation, gentle giggles erupting every so often from their side of the room.

Brita again found herself oddly entranced.

Was that what it was like to love a woman?

Was it always so… tender?

Nausea filled the pit in her gut, and she turned away from the happy couple.

Internalized Homophobia.

She had read about it on the internet. Hadn’t batted her eye at the definition the first time, but now it seemed to be coming back to her.

It didn’t feel good, not at all. Confronting that about herself. Seeing such blatant representation of something she had learned to bury so long ago.

But it wasn’t impossible.

She knew that to get to the bottom of this… whatever it was she was feeling, she had to confront it head on. She had to understand where it came from and why it seemed to hurt her so much.

These girls, these couples moreover, were showing her that it didn’t have to be so hard. That there was a chance for happiness, unabashed joy even. Love.

And that, funnily enough, gave her hope.

Heidi chuckled from beside her, noticing her red face. “You sure you don’t like girls, Miss Filter?”

It took everything in her not to flinch.

Instead, Brita simply shrugged.

And she counted that a victory.

…

Widow started as she nearly ran headfirst into a lanky brunette.

Before she could so much as say something, the figure had bolted toward the school building. Widow just watched him go, an amused smirk pulling at the corner of her mouth. As she rounded the sports shed, she overheard her friend’s voice clear and brash as always.

“Matthews only cares if your paper’s in fucking English, doesn’t matter the content.”

A short blonde girl rolled her eyes pointedly and went to say something, but Dahlia stopped her with a hand. “You know the rules yeah? Change the first and last word for each paragraph.”

The girl nodded.

Dahlia pulled out a handful of loose papers and held them out to the freshman, who grabbed them wordlessly. “Now get lost.”

Widow smiled as the young kid scampered off.  

“You really should charge them more,” she called out.

Dahlia started at the sound of another voice, but relaxed as she identified the source.

She smirked, shrugging. “Consider it a donation to charity.”

“I dunno if you can count having half the freshman class cheat off of you for tax write-offs.”

Dahlia chuckled.

“You ‘bout done here?” Widow asked, gesturing to the makeshift office Dahlia had set up.

The younger girl nodded, throwing papers haphazardly into her open backpack.

Widow looked around, the breeze ruffling her curls and sending a shiver down her spine. “Yeah, let’s get outta here, this place gives me the creeps.”

“You think this place is bad, you should see the old greenhouse. That shit’s fuckin’ haunted, man.” Dahlia shook her head.

Widow’s eyes lit up. “The WHAT?”

Dahlia turned to stare wide eyed at her. “You serious? You ain’t ever gone by it?”

Widow shook her head dumbly.

Dahlia chuckled, flinging her backpack over her shoulder.

“Lead the way, bitch.” Widow smiled.

They walked for only ten minutes, past the baseball field and through the line of trees that bordered the athletic quad. Through a patch of thick brush they came to a small clearing. An old greenhouse stood practically tethered to the surrounding vegetation, only because of the fading light reflecting against the frosted glass could Widow even make out the corners of the structure.

Before they could so much as stop, Widow was excitedly pulling her camera out of her school bag, fiddling with the aperture until she got the lighting perfect on the small screen in front of her.

Dahlia rolled her eyes fondly, allowing her friend to stalk around the building, snapping endless pictures, mumbling about shutter speed and light refraction. It was only a matter of time, and a few pleading words from Widow, before Dahlia found herself posing next to the greenhouse.

“I regret this already,” she groaned but allowed Widow to pose her in various absurd positions, all of which felt incredibly awkward, yet came out stunning.

The two girls ventured into the structure, finding the inside just as overgrown and sprawling as the outside. It felt much bigger on the inside, wooden tables covered in pots lined the walls, leaving only a center plot of ground to walk, but the walls were massive, green tint to the window panes making the ceiling appear vaulted.

“This place is gorgeous, oh my god!” Widow exclaimed, practically jumping up and down in excitement. She whipped around to face Dahlia, eyes alight with her signature mischief. “Oh my god, D, we could totally give this place a makeover.”

Dahlia went to protest, because really? But Widow started talking a mile a minute before she could get a word in.

“Just move that plant over there and that table against the far wall, and we could probably fit a couch in here if we turned it sideways. My dad has this old one in the basement that we don’t use. We could get Jaida’s truck and haul it here. And I know Crystal would fucking love to paint in this place. Not to mention we could totally smoke here without getting caught. And—”

Dahlia finally butted in. “What do I look like? Fuckin’ HGTV?”

Widow rolled her eyes, turning to face her friend, the plea evident in her tone. “This place could be a really bangin spot, D,” she implored. “Plus, with it gettin cold an’ all, we’ve got fuck all to do.”

Dahlia sighed. “Remind me why we’re friends.” Even as she said it, Dahlia couldn’t keep the smile from creeping up the sides of her face.

“Because you love me.” Widow whined, pulling Dahlia closer, and peppering kisses against the side of her face.

Dahlia pushed her off gently, miming vomiting, and Widow just laughed.

The two cleared off a bit of the tables, each setting up across from each other. They fell into a comfortable silence, inhaling and exhaling the late autumn breeze, watching as their breath danced in the air.

“You talked to Gigi?” Widow finally asked, shattering their peaceful silence.

Dahlia sighed, long and low. “Yeah.” She nodded slowly. “Said I was sorry about the stuff at the party. I didn’t know… I didn’t mean for it to come out that way. I had no clue.”

“None of us did.”

“Yeah, but it was kinda my fault in the first place.”

Widow shrugged. “It woulda come out one way or another.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Dahlia bit her lip, refusing to meet Widow’s eyes.

“But?”

“But, I still gotta talk to Jan.”

Widow sighed, but nodded her head knowingly. “Yeah, you do,” she agreed.

“I just don’t know how the fuck to go about it.”

Widow scoffed. “Maybe start with ‘I’m sorry.’”

“Yeah, yeah I know.” Dahlia groaned, letting her head drop into her open hands. “Fuck, man. I really messed up.”

“You knew that when you fell for another girl’s boyfriend,” Widow replied.

“Yeah, but it just got so complicated.”

Widow nodded, smiling sadly. “That’s life for ya. Doesn’t mean you don’t do the right thing.”

Dahlia nodded into her hands, breathing in and out slowly. When she finally looked up to meet Widow’s eyes, she nodded. “She and Bryce broke up.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, he told me last week. I didn’t know how to feel.”

There was a pause. “How do you feel?” Widow asked.

Dahlia looked at her for a moment, mind everywhere and nowhere at the same time. “I dunno. I thought I’d be… happy? I guess. But I just feel… nothing.”

Widow nodded. “Well, hey, if you’re ever feeling down, just know that Joe asks me at least once a month if you’d join us for a threesome.”

Dahlia laughed, even though she hadn’t wanted to. “I’ve still got it,” she joked.

Widow rolled her eyes playfully. “You’ve always had it, bitch. You just been wastin’ it on guys you couldn’t have.”

“Yeah yeah, all right, who are you, my therapist?”

Widow suddenly got very serious, her voice grave. “Don’t even joke about that. That’s fuckin’ terrifying.”

“Hey!” Dahlia yelled, flinging a handful of dirt at her friend.

Widow held up her hands in surrender. “Your mind is a scary place, D.”

“I hate you.”

“You love me.”

…

Heidi looked up as the door to the house across the street opened and closed, revealing an exhausted looking Jaida.

The All-Star player exhaled loudly, leaning against her front door. When she opened her eyes, she saw Heidi and had the decency to look embarrassed.

Heidi just smiled knowingly. “You too?”

The tension in Jaida’s shoulders dissipated as she recognized Heidi’s meaning. “Dude,” she exhaled, shaking her head.

“I know.” Heidi chuckled.

“It’s like… they don’t know how to act like people.”

“I know!” Heidi agreed. “What’s with that?”

“The fuck if I know.” Jaida smiled warmly.

“Promise me if I ever get old and start acting like that you’ll just shoot me in the head.”

“You don’t have to ask me twice,” Jaida chuckled.

“Hey!” Heidi scoffed, waving the bowl she had around animatedly.

Jaida just laughed, easy and light.

“Whatcha got there?” She motioned to the Tupperware in Heidi’s hands.

A mischievous smile broke out across Heidi’s face. “Banana pudding,” she winked. “Best you’ve ever had, I guarantee.”

Jaida’s eyes lit up and she raised a brow inquisitively at the dish.

“Go grab a few spoons and you can try some.” Heidi nodded.

“A few?”

“If you think we the only ones with crazy family on Thanksgiving, you got another thing comin’.”

As if on cue, the door to Jackie’s house banged open, the aforementioned girl storming out the door and into the street, breathing harshly. Heidi could feel the anger and hurt rolling off her in waves, and felt sympathy well up inside her. She knew Jackie’s family was rough, they’d been especially difficult the past month with her relationship with Gigi coming to light.

Heidi didn’t think twice about waving her over with a sweeping gesture.

“Hey, guys,” Jackie exhaled, the lines beside her face appearing deeper than they had a few days ago.

The two gave her sympathetic looks.

Heidi clocked the moment Jackie noticed the dish in her hands, her eyes widening a fraction. Heidi patted the ground beside her. “Jaida’s gonna go grab spoons.”

Jaida rolled her eyes but made her way back into the house.

Just then, Nicky’s door opened and the French beauty made her way outside, lighting a cigarette like a reflex as she noticed the girls. She waltzed over to them, smiling all the while. “I thought the point of this holiday was that you were supposed to spend time with your family.”

Before either of them could answer, Crystal’s door banged open.

“Nicky, that better not be what I think it is!”

Nicky’s eyes went wide and she quickly doused her cigarette with her shoe. The french beauty turned on her heel, offering a wide and not at all suspicious smile to her girlfriend. “Ma préféré! I do not know what you mean.”

Crystal raised a challenging eyebrow as she made her way over to the three girls. She surveyed the two on the ground, who pointedly looked away, not about to get in the middle of whatever the fuck those two were on about.

“Mhmmm.” Crystal rolled her eyes.

Jaida appeared again, with several spoons and her own tray of biscuits.

Jackie got up excitedly and rushed back into her house, claiming that she had food too.

The group set up their small feast in the middle of the numerous parked cars that lined the cul de sac. Chatting animatedly about their respective family drama.

It wasn’t long before they were joined by Widow, holding a vat of green beans that her family wouldn’t eat, even though she swore they were seasoned to perfection.

Slowly, one by one, each of the houses in the cul de sac opened and closed, girls pouring out of them, some with food, others with hopeful smiles.

Gigi had bounded over to the group, arms extended with a pot of mac ‘n cheese. She had sidled up right next to Jackie, the new couple whispering in hushed voices, blush high on their cheeks.

Brita joined them not long after, an array of silverware in her hands, and plopped down with Heidi.

Next was Dahlia, with a bottle of wine in each hand.

When Jan joined the group, she looked skeptically at the bottles, but bravely took a swig from each, wincing a bit at the taste.

At some point Rock had snuck into the circle, her occasional odd comment taking the group off guard at the suddenness of her appearance.

The comfortable conversation slowly petered out when Aiden arrived.

The black-haired girl gave a weak smile, gesturing down to the pot in her hands. “I brought stuffing,” she spoke softly.

There was silence.

The group stared at her, and Aiden stared back

The silence went on, each girl’s eyes flitting about the circle, unwilling to be the first to speak.

Until, Rock bit the bullet. “Thank god someone here knows what real Thanksgiving food is!”

There was another beat of silence.

And then conversations resumed.

Slowly at first.

The tension was still there, Aiden wasn’t forgiven, but the tense atmosphere eased a bit as the black-haired girl took up a seat on the outskirts of the group next to Rock, placing her dish in the middle of the circle.

Heidi surveyed the scene, smiling at the sight. A mixture of voices bubbled up from all sides as the girls fell into new, comfortable conversations.

She marveled at the fading color of the trees, signaling the change of season, and the coming winter. As she glanced back over to the group of girls gathered in the center of the street, head clouded, heart full, the only emotion she could pinpoint was hope.

Hope that the girls of the Blue Neighborhood had what it took to tackle the rest of their senior year.

#rpdr fanfiction #mac #blue neighborhood series #suburbia #group fic #s12 #high school au #lesbian au #fluff #angst #nicky doll #crystal methyd #rock m sakura #aiden zhane #brita filter #heidi n closet #jaida essence hall #gigi goode #jackie cox #widow von du #dahlia sin #jan sport

[penguins-penguins]

So recently I read this wonderful fanfiction (the author doesn’t have tumblr last I checked, but if one of y’all knows differently do tell, because I’d love to tag them) please go read it, it’s amazing. In the notes they mentioned something that my brain latched onto and wouldn’t stop screaming about, which is why I’m writing this. 

The background was that after everything that happened (God died, Jack became God, Cas got taken by the empty), Eileen and Sam got married and had a daughter named Deanna-Marie (obviously she was named after Dean, although I’m not sure if the ‘Marie’ part was supposed to also be a play on ‘Mary’. Either way, it’s an adorable name). Dean never stopped looking for a way to save Cas, but he also ends up opening a bakery called Buns and Roses (love this name) with Miracle.

The bakery is what slapped me in the face and stayed with me for the next 48 hours. I think that Dean owning this bakery is absolutely brilliant, and I had so many ideas for it I just had to write them down. The only problem with writing these ideas is that I can’t really write. I’m just- not good at it. So I decided to do it in headcanon format instead. Kinda... explain my ideas.

I’ve really given you all the background information that you need to understand this, but I really do say read the fic 1. because it’s a great fic and it’ll make you happy and 2. because I do plan to make other parts to this because that’s how many ideas I have and if you plan on reading those, you might wanna read the fic just so you know everything.

Alright! That’s all of it. When I do put out the other parts of this I’ll put them here, but for now, enjoy.

So the first thing Dean does when he decides he wants go “settle down” (read this with Cas’s air quotes) (I air quote because it’s not exactly in Dean’s nature go settle down, and he doesn’t like call it that. He prefers “decided in a permanent living situation”) is look for a small business he can run.

Because let’s he honest here. Dean can’t sit still, and is certainly not going go watch football in a white-picket fence, suburban, vanilla house.

But he is 100% certain he does not want to he moving, be confined, or be working any type of 9-5 job. (Especially now that he has Miracle)

That leaves running your own (small) business! (At least, to him. That was a rational choice to make and he stands by this choice.)

Bakery was the obvious decision. 1. It’s food. 2. He likes food. 3. He likes making food. 4. Baking was always a guilty pleasure of his. (Well, not actually doing the baking. He never had the time or the resources. But he liked baking shows, and he’d always wanted to try.) 5. That’s it. He didn’t have a college degree and he didn’t do much research after the initial idea struck him, he was confident in the choice that this was what he wanted to do.

Skip forward a couple months. He’s found the town he wants (smallish, cozy, far enough away from Sam and his family so that he doesn’t feel overbearing, but close enough so that it doesn’t take forever to drive over and visit), the building he wants (I’ll go into more detail here in a second), and everything is in order.

Now, let’s talk about this building. I’ve put quite a few thoughts into this, so here.

It was a café before it was sold, and before that it was a bar that went all the way back to the Civil War. This is important for two reasons. 1. The town was essentially built around this building (and the other ones in the square), so this means that it was in the middle of everything which was helpful for promoting business and for a reason that I will talk about in a moment and 2. It had a secret door in the basement where historians believed meetings were held. Dean was actually ecstatic about this, because it worked amazing with an idea he had.

At one point someone mentioned something about a “Hunter B&B”. They said it as a joke, but Dean couldn’t get the idea out if his head. How great would a hunter bed & breakfast be? A place to refuel, restock, rest, with people who actually got it. Understood the life. So this is what he was thinking.

Reinforce the door to the secret basement. Cover it in iron, infuse it with salt, ward it, you know, the works. Then make a miniature bunker. 

He covered one wall in books. Tomes, exorcisms, maps, monster encyclopedias. Anything he felt would be useful, he grabbed from the original bunker and moved down here.

The second wall had all the weapons. Guns, knives, stakes, staffs, machetes, all of it. (This wall also had a tattoo gun, which he used to put anti-possession tattoos on whoever wanted one. He also used it to tattoo himself sometimes [just because I’m a sucker for tattooed!Dean], but the majority of his tattoos he got done at a shop a few towns over)

The third wall had a cot pushed up against it. There was a fridge with blood bags (and animals blood for cases that needed that), a cabinet of medical supplies (basic stuff like needles, thread, rubbing alcohol, bandages) and a shelf with anything else he would need for patching people up (more advanced stuff like anti-venoms, cures for certain monster-induced illnesses, etc.).

The last wall was half taken up by a door (again, reinforced in every way possible. This door led to stairs which went up [another door at the top of the stairs. He built cabinetry on it so people couldn’t tell there was a door, and then the lock hidden in one of the cabinets] into the basement that wasn’t secret, where he kept the bakery stuff and anything else you’d put in a normal person storage area.) and half taken up by another book case/cabinets, this one full of spell stuff. Animal bones, plants, all your basic ingredients.

Like I said, mini-bunker.

So that’s the two basements

The rest of the floors are all above ground, and there are four of them.

The ground floor is, obviously, the bakery. 

There are tables and chairs, a couple shelves of some classic books, and The Wall. (I’ll explain The Wall in a moment.) A classic rock station is always playing quietly over the speakers and Dean is always mouthing the words to every song. 

The front of the shop is plain, just the sign that says Buns and Roses, and the windows that cover the front. On the windows Dean has painted warding symbols, but in order to not attract suspicion, he covers both sides with posters and stickers. The only symbol he doesn’t cover is the Hunter Symbol, the one that’s on all stores that cater to hunters.

There’s an iron plate above the door too, which says “Lassus venatores grata sunt.” When people ask what it means he tells them the truth, “It’s Latin, it means “Tired hunters are welcome here.”” Most people find it a nice sentiment, but he hopes that any hunter who sees it understands the message that they are welcome here.

The Wall is the wall on the left of the shop, the one that isn’t taken up by bookcases or tables and chairs. It is, instead, covered in pictures. 

There’s the picture of Mary with Sam and Dean (the first time, he can’t have a picture of them the second time because it would be a little weird to people if his mom was younger than him), Dean with Baby, Ellen, Jo and Ash at the Roadhouse, Pamela and him clinking beers, Bobby rolling his eyes at Sam, Charlie (their Charlie) cracking up at something while Dean deadpans at the camera, a shaky shot of Kevin banging his head against a table with the brothers in the back laughing their asses off (as if the cameraman was trying not to laugh), Donna, Jody, Patience, Alex and Claire, covered in paintball splatters, Bobby again, this time with Rufus, arguing while waving a spatula, Dean and Sam as teenagers laughing at the TV, him with Claire, both of them yelling at each other over a Monopoly board, Sam, Dean and Jack, lined up, fishing, Rowena smiling daintily at the camera with the bunker’s kitchen in absolute ruin behind her. 

And then there are newer pictures. Sam and Eileen’s wedding, Dean holding Deanna-Marie as a baby, Dean playing with Miracle, Dean and Miracle in front of the bakery, Jack and Deanna playing Frisbee with the dog. 

But the person who shows up the most is definitely a man in a trench coat. Sometimes the pictures aren’t even that big, they don’t even bring attention without having to look for them, but they’re there. Cas, wearing a lab coat, glaring at the camera. Cas in a cowboy hat. Cas, mouthing to lyrics in the shotgun of the Impala (taken from the backseat), Cas with his mouth full of marshmallows (because come on, Cas, it’s the chubby bunny challenge and there’s no way you’re beating my record, but I bet you could give Sam a run for his money!), Cas being used as a pillow by Dean when he fell asleep during a movie marathon (he’s scowling at the camera, but you can see the spark of something in his eyes), Cas and Jack covered in mud, the white of their teeth stark against the brown of their faces, Team Free Will 2.0 having a game night, and so many more.

If asked, Dean is happy to tell the stories behind the pictures (with certain details substituted with ones more fit for the public), who’s in them (my dad Bobby, my kid Jack, my Aunt Rowena, my psuedo-mom Jody and her girls, Jody’s best friend Donna, my girl Claire, my little brother Kevin, my little sister Charlie, family-friends Jo, Ellen and Ash, Bobby’s best friend Rufus, my, actually, I don’t know what Pamela is, my niece Deanna-Marie, my brother Sammy, my sister-in-law Eileen, my *cough* *clearing of throat* my best friend Cas) and where those people are now (Bobby and Rufus both passed about five years ago, natural causes, Ash died in a fire, Ellen and Jo in a car crash, Pamela because of an on-going medical emergency regarding her eyes, his mom in a house fire when he was young, Charlie and Kevin were killed in a mugging, Jody and Donna are still working in their respective towns, Alex is in Nursing School, Claire lives with Jody and Patience, Jack has a traveling internship, Rowena lives in Ireland, Sam, Eileen and Deanna-Marie are a couple hours from here, and Cas- Cas is... away, right now.). 

As the bakery gains more traction (I’ll cover this in another part), The Wall becomes a staple in the town, everyone knowing the stories and loving when Dean tells more. Such a staple, in fact, that when Dean’s family does start to come visit (again, another part), people on the streets recognize them from The Wall and talk to them like they’ve known each other forever.

Back to the rest of it.

Behind the counter is the kitchen, and the kitchen has two doors. Both open up to staircases, one going up and one going down. We already covered what you’d see if you went down, so let’s go up.

The next floor is the main living floor. There’s a living room with a TV and a couch (a pullout), which opens to a kitchen and a bathroom. Nothing overly exciting. 

The next floor up has three bedrooms.

The first is Dean’s (king-sized bed, more pictures, a small bathroom with a shower attached, a dog-bed for Miracle [although Miracle usually sleeps in the bed with Dean]). 

The second bedroom isn’t technically utilized as a bedroom. This one is basically Dean’s miscellaneous room. It’s got a desk where he takes care of paperwork (this desk also has his main computer), a punching bag and a mat where Dean works out (just because he owns a bakery doesn’t mean he’s going to allow himself to slack off. He still needs to stay in shape), more books (ones that didn’t work in the shop but weren’t related to the supernatural), basically just a space for stuff that wouldn’t fit anywhere else.

Here comes the first ‘B’ in ‘B&B’.

The third is smaller and only has one twin bed in it. This one is bare, ready to be used by whoever should need it.

The top floor is basically that, times four. 

Four bedrooms, all small-ish. Two have two twin beds, one only has one and the last one has a regular sized bed. They all aren’t decorated, save the bedside table, lamp and mirror. The top floor also has a small bathroom.

All that’s left is the roof, which Dean converted into a small area for hanging out, sitting outside, etc. It opens out to a table on the right, a grill on the left, and the whole thing looks (from a birds-eye-view) to be cut in half. The other half is raised slightly, and that’s where the grass is. The grass grows well and is where Miracle runs, plays, and does her business.

After everything is said and done, Dean is incredibly proud of Buns and Roses. The baked goods are delicious (products of sleepless nights put to use in the kitchen, experimenting and evolving his recipes), his dog is happy, his family is smiling down at him from The Wall, he’s making money doing something he loves (something honest, something that he doesn’t force himself to love because if he didn’t he would fall apart), and most importantly, it’s his. This small bakery in the middle of a small town is his and he is so damn proud of it.

#so yeah #Like i said #I have a lot more of these for this specific au #so I don't know how many more parts #but i know there will definitely be more parts #hopefully you liked this #and if anyone wants to write it please tag me in it #okay #time to start tagging the characters #spn #supernatural #dean winchester #destiel #saileen #sam winchester #castiel #eileen leahy #jack kline #jody mills #claire novak #donna hanscum #alex jones #patience turner #miracle the dog #bobby singer #rufus turner #kevin tran #charlie bradbury #rowena #rowena macleod

[you-a-southpaw-doll]

Daddy’s Family ~ A Negan One-Shot

Summary: The day Negan’s life gets put back together in the middle of the end of the world when Simon brings a young girl to the Sanctuary.

Warning(s): Language. Angst. Threats. Rules. Violence - Slightly Canon, Slightly Non-Canon. Negan being an ass. Anxious Negan. Sweet Negan. Caring Negan. Daddy Negan, but not in that way, ok...maybe a little like that, but only with his wife. Lol.  Happy AF Negan. OOC Negan. Fluff. Happy ending. Abraham and Glenn live. More time has passed since the dead started walking and Negan’s outpost gets attacked by Rick and company than what it is in the story, but Judith is toddler when Negan meets her for the first time. Not beta’d, so...there’s that. I only have Grammarly used on this.

Author’s Note(s): So, I know this is really fuckin’ long, but I really hope y’all fuckin’ enjoy this! It was only supposed to be a couple thousand words, no more than 3,000...but...I just couldn’t bring myself to end it after only 3,000 words. So, y’all get a whopping almost 11,000 words! And I know it’s a bit OOC for Negan, but oh well! We all need some soft Negan at some point! Any feedback is appreciated! As always, if you wanna be tagged, just let me know! P.S. I’ll be getting back to my “Lovin’ Him” story soon, I hope. I just haven’t been in a good mental place, but I haven’t given it up. I promise!

Word Count: 10,495 words!

Relationship(s): Negan x Leigh Sullivan (OFC) [romantic]. Negan x Lucille (OFC and not the Lucille from the story) [paternal]. Negan x Issac “Ike” (OMC).

Characters: Negan. Leigh Sullivan (OFC). Lucille (OFC and not the Lucille from the story). Issac “Ike” (OMC). Rick. Sanctuary Workers. Simon. Michonne. Carl. Judith. Eli (OMC).

Taglist: @negans-network @prettyboynegan @mychemicalimagines @spnnnxangelsx @rockinkel21 @misskittycat02 @band--psycho @ofxallxwexlost @iron-halt @thamberlinawrites @ravenwings73 @lettherebepink @stoneyggirl @sebs-padawan

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Story Time:

It’s been three days. Three days since Simon and his group brought the young girl back to the Sanctuary. Three days since Negan had been out on a solo trip to the one place he’s visited on the same day every year for the last 8 years since the world went to shit and his world ended. Three days since Negan got back and heard the first whispered words about the new girl.

Three days and Negan still hasn’t said a word to her. He hasn’t been able to bring himself to introduce himself to the teenager. And he knows why. For the first time since everything went to shit and he lost everything, he’s scared. Scared to give in to the hope that’s trying to crawl outta the deepest recesses of his hardened heart. 

Scared to believe the words he’s ‘bout the girl for the last three days. Scared to find out the truth. Scared that he’s gonna lose everything all over again if everything’s true. After mentally beating himself up, leaving him on the verge of a panic attack, something he ain’t had in a while, he finds himself sucking in a deep breath as he knocks softly and hesitantly on the thin door in front of him.

When he doesn’t get a response from inside the room, he wipes a leather-covered hand across his forehead, wiping the sweat away, and reaches a shaky hand out, curling his long and normally steady fingers around the metal doorknob, twisting it slowly, hearing the latch click open. He pauses and bites his lip as he mentally curses himself.

If his people could see him right now, they wouldn’t think of him as the strong, bat-wielding leader he’s built himself up to be in order to cope and lead his people. They would think he’s a weakling, and he’d lose his spot as leader. But, in this moment, another part of his mind tells him to fuck what his people think and to open the door.

He swallows deeply and follows that part of his brain as his heart thumps loudly against the side of his ribs. Slowly pushing the door open, he pauses at what he sees inside the small room. And what he doesn’t see. His eyes search the room that’s basically bare, minus the mattress in the corner, a chair and small table against one wall, and a small set of drawers next to the door.

It takes him a moment before his eyes finally settle on what, or rather, who he’s looking for. His heart tightens painfully in his chest as soon as he sees her. The teenage girl his men brought back to the Sanctuary three damn days ago. The who had been found in the middle of a decently sized herd, fighting off as many walkers as she could when Simon and his group showed and laid waste to them.

The girl who had passed out, from shock or exhaustion, they weren’t sure, as soon as Simon had uttered Negan’s name. The girl Negan had been avoiding like the plague since he returned from the memorial spot he visited every year. The girl who Negan now finds himself unable to take his eyes off as he takes her in.

Dressed in a slightly baggy, once white but now a faded grey from years of grime and dirt t-shirt, holy blue jeans, and a pair of black combat boots still on her feet, regardless of the fact that she’s sound asleep, seemingly dead to the world. His eyes water as he looks at her hair...short ‘nough that it’s above her shoulders and just long ‘nough to cover her ears. 

He bites his lip as he watches her, leaning against the doorframe, using it to keep his tall body standing up straight. He looks over the girl, looking for any visible injuries, and lets out a soft sigh of relief when he doesn’t see any on her tall, lanky body. A body that looks so small with the way she’s laying. 

She’s pressed up against the wall, back straight and not an inch between it and the wall. Her knees are bent at a 45-degree angle with her feet pressed flat against the wall and a pillow between her knees. She has a small bag tucked under her head as a pillow and hers tight against her chest in an almost fighting stance, prepared for anything, and one hand slightly under the bag she’s using as a pillow. 

But. She’s still sound asleep and an old, brown Carhartt jacket covers her body. The worn jacket with a small Bald Eagle and the word “SOAR” under it stitched into the fabric above the right breast pocket, no doubt still three sizes too big for her if the triple rolled sleeves have anything to say about it. 

Negan chokes back a sob as he sees her, instantly recognizing the old jacket. He remembers the love she had for the thing when he’d often find her snuggled up, napping and feeling safe in it, after he’d take it off. His heart clenches as he realizes that some things never change. Even if she’s gotten older and can’t completely hide under it anymore.

He watches as she jerks in her sleep, clearly having a nightmare. It breaks his heart even more. He’s always hated seeing her in pain, and that included her having nightmares. Without thinking, acting on pure instinct, he softly pads across the room, wearing only his jeans and a white t-shirt, similar to what the girl’s wearing, but cleaner and whiter. 

Settling his tall, lanky frame on the edge of the bed by her knees, he places a large hand on her knee as a way to comfort her. It was one way he could always get her to relax and calm down. Not even half a second after he lays his hand on her knee, he’s got a knife pressing against his throat, just below his Adam’s apple.

He lifts his eyes up and finds himself staring into a pair of panic-filled, yet determined muddy brown eyes. 

“Hands. Off. Now.” Her sleepy voice hisses.

He swallows deeply and croaks out a quiet “Lu?” 

He lifts his hand off her knee and holds them up so she can see ‘em. The girl tenses more, digging the knife deeper into his skin, nicking it slightly, for a moment before she processes what he said and the sound of his voice. Negan watches as her eyes widen and her fingers drop the knife. In one quick movement, she’s in his lap, arms ‘round his torso, face buried in his neck as she cries. 

“Daddy.” She sobs.

He just holds her, trying not to break down himself. He holds her close, feeling her body tremble and shake in his arms. He breathes in deeply and tightens his arms ‘round her.

He rubs her back and murmurs softly in her ear. “Daddy’s got you, Princess. You’re safe now. I fuckin’ promise.” 

He kisses her head and holds his little girl, who he’d thought was dead, tightly in his arms. His heart breaks as he hears her sobs, and feels them soaking into his shirt. He doesn’t care ‘bout that. Or the fact that the young girl in his arms is finally 14. He finally has his daughter in his arms, for the first since she was 6 years old.

He reaches a hand up and softly scratches her scalp, massaging lightly. His little girl always loved when he’d do that as he read her a bedtime story. Back before the world ended. 

“Daddy’s here, sweet pea.” He assures her, and feels her arms tighten ‘round him. “I’m so fuckin’ proud of you, princess. You made it this far. You’ve survived.” 

He hears her let out another sob that twists his heart as he feels the walls he built many years ago crumble. He holds her close, letting her cry as much as she wants to. He doesn’t say a word, just holds her to him, rubbing her back and massaging her scalp. A few times, he does murmur a soft “Breathe” in her ear when she gasps for air from crying so hard.

He scoots back on the mattress, leaning against the wall, holding his little girl, keeping her safe in his arms. He feels her cling to him tighter, burying her face against the side of his neck as he moves across the bed and gets comfortable.

“Shhhh. It’s ok, sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere. I’m just getting comfortable and I’m not letting you go til you’re ready.” He whispers softly.

“Never.” Her sob strained voice murmurs against him.

He kisses her head, understanding that one word. “I’ll never let you go again, baby. Daddy’s here. He’s not going anywhere and he’s gonna always protect you. I swear, sweetheart.”

Feeling her nod against him, he takes a deep breath in, knowing he’d die before he ever let something happen to her again. He ain’t gonna lose her again. Never again. After an hour, he finally feels her body stop trembling in his arms as she relaxes against him, sniffling every so often as she stops crying.

He brings his hand up and cups her cheek, lifting it and gently wipes her tears away, before placing a soft kiss on her forehead.  

“I’ve got you, princess.” He murmurs.

She nods against him and leans into his touch. She looks at him, her eyes dancing across his face before she lets out a soft giggle.

“You got old.”

Negan’s eyes widen and he barks out a laugh. “Thanks for stating the fuckin’ obvious there, kiddo. That kinda happens. ‘Specially when the world fuckin’ ends. You got old too!”

Her eyes widen. “Did not! I’m still your little girl!”

He smiles. “You’ll always be daddy’s little girl, Lucille. Have been from the moment you were born and had me wrapped ‘round that little finger of yours.”

She lets out another soft giggle that heals his broken heart and hugs him tighter.

“I missed you, dad.” She whispers.

“I missed you too, sweetheart. So. Fuckin’. Much. Losing you and your mama...it fuckin’ killed me. I died inside when I lost y’all.”

She lifts her head and stares at him. “Why didn’t you come lookin’ for us?”

Negan lets out a shaky breath. “I did, sweetheart. Despite the fact that I watched you, my sweet little angel, and your mama, the love of my life, get swept up in the middle of that herd. I killed every single one of those dead fucks, despite my injuries. When I was done, I didn’t see y’all anywhere and then I passed out from blood loss and ended up in a coma. It took me 3 weeks to wake up. When I did, I went back out there, searching for y’all. I went back to our house, our rendezvous points, everywhere I could fuckin’ think of. I did that for years. Despite every fuckin’ thing suggesting y’all were dead. Each time I went out and didn’t find y’all, I died more and more on the inside. I never once gave up on y’all. I’ve just gotten a little busy lately to go searching as much as I used to. My people have been getting attacked, slaughtered.”

Lu nods slowly, taking in words. “Mom and I...we thought you were dead. We saw you go down after you took ‘em all down. Ma pulled me into a building and we hid. We were gonna come get you but then you just collapsed, seemingly dead to the world...and then some of the dead came out from the back of the store we were in and we had to run. We ended up in a little community named Alexandria, and we’ve been there for the last 8 years. Mama wasn’t in any shape to stay on the run. Not with me being so young and not in her condition. So, we stayed. The three of us. We’ve tried to go out but the new leader doesn’t let anyone that’s not his people go out.”

Negan’s breath gets caught in his throat at her words. Lucille notices how her dad’s entire body tenses up and she lifts her head. Not quite realizing the exact reason he tenses, but thinking it’s one thing. She gently pats his cheek.

“Don’t worry, daddy. Mama’s ok. So is Ike. He’s adorable. And looks just like you.” She assures him, thinking that’s why he tensed up a moment ago.

Negan eyes widen and he gasps at her new words, even if his brain’s still caught up on the fact that she’s been living in Alexandria. 

“Ike? He? Your mama’s alive? Alexandria?” He stumbles over his words.

Lucille giggles and nods. “Yea! Mama found out she was pregnant a few months after we got separated from you with the herd and thought you were dead. She had a little boy, Issac, almost 5 months after we got to Alexandria. The leader, Deanna, she was a sweetheart and helped mama through the pregnancy and Ike’s birth. I was so happy to be a big sister. I’ve been super protective over Ike since he was born. He looks just like you. Just...tinier and cuter.”

Negan huffs softly. “I’m still cute.” 

Lu giggles. “Mama still thinks so when she looks at the photo of you she has. Or, well had.”

Negan furrows his brow. “Had?”

Lu nods and lays her head back on her father’s shoulder, not caring that she’s a teenager. She’s missed her daddy. And he still makes her feel safe. Plus, a part of her’s worried that this is all a dream and that when she wakes up, he’s gonna be gone, so she’s trying to enjoy it as much as she can.

“Yea. Had. The new leader of Alexandria, Rick...he’s a dick -” She starts.

“Language, daughter!” Negan grumbles. “But continue.”

Lu laughs. “I’m a teenager, dad. Mama does say I cuss worse than you used to. Anyway. Rick. He’s a dick. Or should I say Prick? Which would you prefer?” 

Negan narrows his eyes at her. “Neither, but as you pointed out, you’re a teenager. I don’t expect you to listen to me.”

She giggles. “I’ll always listen to you…when I wanna. I’ll stick with Prick. It sounds better. Rick the Prick.”

Negan laughs. “I like that. Rick the Prick. Just don’t tell your mama I’m letting you cuss. She’ll kick my ass. And I’m quite fond of my ass. Ok. Continue.”

He smiles when he hears her laugh and hugs her tighter to him as he listens to his little girl, who’s not so little anymore.

“He found the picture after it fell outta mama’s pocket one day a couple of weeks ago. He looked at when one of the guys from one of the other communities saw it too and gasped. They apparently recognized you in the photo. He told Rick ‘that’s Negan. Just he’s older now. And he carries a bat around. But that’s him.’. Rick lost his shit and demanded to know who’s photo it was, yelling that there was a traitor amongst the community. Mama and I never said a word. We’d seen him kill outta spite and we weren’t gonna do anything to bring his anger towards us. Mama cried ‘cause she no longer had the photo. I snuck out one night...last week? I was gonna go back to our house...try to get another photo for mama. I don’t like seeing her sad, daddy. I made it there after two days. Got the photo, and was heading back home when I heard a truck drive by...I hid in the woods behind the house and when I heard the truck engine turn off, I made a run for it. I ended up getting swarmed by a bunch of the dead a few hours later...I was almost done taking them out when a bunch of gunfire rang out...taking out the rest. The creepy dude with the pornstache demanded my shit, and I told him to fuck off and started walking away. He grabbed my arm, told me I should be grateful for him saving my life. I flipped him off and then punched him in the nose when he wouldn’t let go of me.”

Negan lets out a snort of laughter. “That’s my girl.”

“He got really pissed off and said that a man named Negan would deal with me, and that I’d better pray that I didn’t piss the “Big Boss Man” off. I didn’t really pay attention to that part as soon as he said “Negan”. You don’t exactly have a common name, dad, and I just got really overwhelmed, plus I was fuckin’ exhausted. I guess I just passed out and when I woke up, I was in this room. I’ve only been allowed to leave for meals. And that’s it.”  Lucille continues.

Negan takes in her story and hugs her closer. He grinds his teeth as he thinks ‘bout Rick hurting his family. His wife. His daughter. And the son he’s never met. He grinds them harder when he thinks ‘bout Simon putting his hands on his little girl, regardless of the reason. Looking down at Lucille, he unclenches his jaw.

“I’ll deal with Rick the Prick. You can guaran-fuckin’-tee that. He’s got a shit storm coming his way. Now, where’d Simon grab you? Let me see, sweetheart.” He says, in a soft voice.

Lucille lifts the sleeve of the shirt she’s wearing and Negan chuckles as he realizes something.

“Damn, kid. You just stole all your daddy’s clothes, didn’t you? First my jacket, now my shirt?” He teases.

Lu giggles. “Shut up, dad! You know that jacket makes me feel safe. And it was laundry day when I snuck out so when I got to our old house, I changed into a cleaner shirt. I realized it was yours ‘cause it still smelled like you.”

Negan chuckles. “You’re adorable, sweet pea.” 

He smiles, showing off his dimples as his little girl blushes. The smile fades a little when he sees the handprint wrapping ‘round her upper arm. He brings a hand up and gently traces it, growling low in his throat.

“I’m gonna kill that fucker for laying a hand on you.” He mutters.

Lucille’s eyes widen and she stares at him. “No, dad. You can’t.”

Negan raises a brow as he looks at her. “And why the fuck can’t I? He put his hand on a woman. My own fuckin’ daughter.”

“He didn’t know I’m your kid, dad.”

“Doesn’t fuckin’ matter. I have a strict rule ‘bout no one laying a hand on a woman, hurting them. Same goes with kids.”

“Dad. Don’t. Ok? I don’t want you hurting someone ‘cause of me.”

Negan stares at her. “My sweet little Lulu. I would kill any fucker who ever laid a hand on you in a way that you did not want to be touched. You are my little girl. Even if you are a teenager. You’re still my little girl. I’d have done it before the world ended, even if it meant going to jail. And I’d definitely fuckin’ do it now, ‘cause I’m the Big Man in charge. And no one, I repeat, fuckin’ no one, lays a hand on my family.”

Lu hugs him tight. “Well...you might kill a fucker for touching me...but I’d kill a fucker if I don’t get something to eat soon.”

Negan chuckles and hugs her, kissing her head. “C’mon, squirt. Let’s get you outta this boring ass room, up to mine, and while you shower and get cleaned up, I’ll have some fucker bring up some food. Maybe I’ll have Simon do it. If I can’t kill him, I’ll just make his life fuckin’ miserable.” 

His daughter laughs at the smirk on his face and hugs him again before climbing off his lap and standing up. 

“As long as you don’t kill him.” She says grinning. “No. C’mon. You promised me food and a shower. Chop chop, old man.” 

Negan grunts and flips her off. “I’ll show you old man, kid. I’ll still whoop your ass.”

Lucille laughs. “Nah uh! C’mon. Think ‘bout it. You get to enjoy all the perks of having a teenage daughter!”

Negan eyes widen with a scary thought and he stares at her as he stands off the bed. “So fuckin’ help me. You’d better not have a fuckin’ boyfriend! You’re too fuckin’ young for that shit!”

She laughs as she grabs her stuff. “Nah, dad. I don’t like boys.”

Negan lets out a deep breath. “Thank fuck for that. You’re too fuckin’ young!”

She laughs and decides to tease him. “Go on, old man. Lead the way to your room. I need food. I’ll tell you ‘bout the girl I have a crush on.”

Negan whips his head around to look at her so fast she can’t help but giggle, not surprised if her dad gave himself whiplash. 

“I don’t give a fuck if you like dicks or not. You could like both for all I care. That don’t bother me. Lord knows I don’t have a problem with playing for both teams, but you are too fuckin’ young to date anyone. You can date when you’re my age!”

“But, daaaaaaaaaaddddddddddd! You’re older than dinosaurs!”

Negan gives her a glare without any heat behind it. “Watch it, young lady. I will ground your ass and not think twice ‘bout it.”

She giggles as she walks outta the room. “Mama said y’all were 16 when y’all started dating!”

“That’s different! You’re my daughter!” He says, following after her leading her down the hallway, ignoring the looks from his people at his proclamation. “No dating, young lady!”

One of his men snickers and Negan rounds on him, pinning him to the wall by his throat. 

“Something fuckin’ funny, asshole?” He hisses.

“Dad! Stop!” Lu says, tugging on Negan’s arm. 

The man shakes his head as he stares at the boss man and croaks. “No, sir. I just….”

Negan glares and lowers the man back to his feet. “You just what, fucker?”

“Remember when my little girl was at that age. I know what you’re going through. That’s all.” He says, rubbing his throat.

Negan eyes widen. “Oh...sorry ‘bout the whole pinning you by the fuckin’ throat. She’s just...she’s my little girl.”

The man nods and smiles softly. “No worries, Sir, and I understand. I’ve done the same thing a time or two before. But, don’t worry, Sir. I’ll make sure no-one messes with your girl.”

Negan raises a brow. “Yea? What’s your job here?”

“Janitorial.”

“Not anymore. You’re a Savior now.”

“Really? Even though I’m an old fuck?”

Negan chuckles softly. “You’re a Savior, man. Doesn’t mean you have to go on runs. I’m sure I can find another task for you, but you’re a Savior. You offered up to protect my daughter just ‘cause, so that says a lot. Hell, I might have you become my new right-hand man. I need one who won’t lay a hand on my girl. What do you say?”

The man’s eyes widen. “Really? What ‘bout Simon?”

Negan smirks. “I’ll deal with him. He’ll think twice next time before he lays a hand on a woman or a kid. Let alone my kid.”

The man nods. “Well, then, sir. I’d be honored to be your right-hand man.”

“Thanks, Eli. Now, do you mind doing me a favor? Run and fetch Simon. Have him bring two dinner plates to my room, and when you get done with that, stop by the Commissary and grab some stuff for kid? I don’t think she wants to wear the same clothes she’s been wearing for a week. We’ll be in my room. I got 8 years to catch up on that I missed of my daughter’s life.”

Eli smiles and nods. “Yes, sir. Of course.”

Negan smiles and pats the older man’s cheek before turning to Lu and hooking his arm ‘round her shoulder. 

“C’mon, kid. You smell worse than I do.” He jokes which just earns him an elbow to the gut and a soft laugh.

“Shut it, old man!”

Eli watches and smiles as the boss man takes the teenager upstairs, the two of them laughing, and joking around. He goes to do what he was ordered to, more than happy to do so. He wouldn’t ever say anything, but doing janitorial work in the Sanctuary for the better portion of the last decade had not been too kind on his aging bones.

Being the right-hand man to the boss man would be great. He really was honored. He liked and respected the man. He didn’t agree with some of the things he’d done in the past, but he’d understand. ‘Specially once he’d seen that lost, devastated, and haunted look in his eyes. He recognized it immediately and just knew, somehow, that the man had lost his family.

But, now that Negan had his daughter back, Eli was sure things were looking up for the younger man. And he’d make sure Negan never had that look back in his eyes.

***

Upstairs, Negan shows Lu ‘round his room and living quarters. 

“After you get fuckin’ cleaned up, and fuckin’ eat something, you can pick out your own room.” He smiles.

Lu smiles a little and nods slowly. Negan catches the look of sadness that flashes across her face.

“What is it, sweetheart? Do you not want your own room?” He asks, worriedly.

“I do…” She says softly.

“But?”

“But...I miss mama and Ike...besides...what if your girlfriend comes up here?”

Negan’s eyes widen. “Girlfriend? What’re you talking ‘bout, kiddo?”

“Whenever I’d go to get meals over the last few days, I’d always hear women say how much they wanted to be your wife. That there was no way a man like you could still be single.”

Negan sighs and hugs his daughter tight. “Sweetheart, not that I really wanna discuss my sex life, existent or not, with you, I promise you, I don’t have a girlfriend. And I only have one wife. That’s your mama. She’s the only one for me, ok? When we got separated all those years ago, my heart was broken. And it never healed. Your mama was, and is, all I need. I ain’t even looked at another woman. Your mama has and will always have my heart.”

Lu looks up. “Promise?”

He kisses her head. “I promise, kiddo. And, I can also promise you, we’re gonna get your mama and your brother here as soon as possible, ok? Then we can be a family again.”

His heart melts at the happiest smile his teenage daughter gives him before she ducks outta his arms and walks to the bathroom, ready to take a shower. Before she shuts the door, she looks back at him and smiles again. 

“I love you, dad. And, I’m glad you’re still alive.” 

Negan grins from ear to ear. “I love you too, kiddo. Now, go wash your stinky ass.”

She laughs and flips him off. Once the door’s closed, Negan flops back on his bed, his heart now beating happily and strongly for the first time in years as all the walls that once blocked it lay in a crumpled mess. He strokes a hand over his face and then looks at the wedding ring on his left ring finger that’s been there for well over 15 years.

He grins more and mumbles to himself. “My wife. My daughter. My son.”

He sits up straight, laughing softly. “I have a fuckin’ son! And they’re all alive. I’m getting my family back.”

***

The following morning, Negan does a happy dance in the solitude of his own private bathroom as he gets ready for the day. Nothing could get in his fuckin’ way or ruin his fuckin’ good ass mood. Last night had been one of the best. He and Lu had talked til she fell asleep, snuggled up to his side like she used to do all those years ago when she was still only a couple feet tall.

He’d carried her to the bedroom she’d picked out after her shower and they’d eaten dinner. He’d tucked her, kissed her forehead, and turned the lights off. The routine coming back to him as naturally as breathing. He’d gone to bed with a smile on his face as he told himself that he’d be getting his wife and son back the following day.

Which is why he was currently doing a happy dance as he brushed his teeth, standing in his boxers, and humming ‘round the toothbrush in his mouth. You’d never guess that the dead walk ‘round outside, that’s how happy Negan was. For the first time in the 8 years, he finally had a damn good reason to get outta bed in the morning.

He raises his brow, spitting in the sink as he catches his daughter’s gaze in the bathroom mirror. 

“Mornin’, sunshine!” He says.

She just grumbles and flips him off. “Too fuckin’ early for this shit, dad!”

He laughs. “Not a fuckin’ mornin’ person, are you, sweetheart?”

She shakes her head and flips him off again. “No. I’m fuckin’ not and I don’t see how the fuck you are! You’re an old man! Shouldn’t you still be asleep? Snoring?”

He laughs, rinsing his mouth out and spitting again, before walking over to her and kissing her head. 

“Normally, I ain’t a mornin’ person. Fuckin’ hate getting up early. And, I don’t fuckin’ snore, thank you very fuckin’ much! No one’s complained in the last 8 years.” He teases. “Besides, today, sweet pea, today’s the day we’re gonna go get your mama and brother. So, hurry the fuck up, get dressed, and then we’ll head out.”

He smiles as he watches her eyes light up and a sleepy smile spreads across her face.

“Really?”

He smiles and nods. “Mmhhmm! Now, c’mon. Chop chop! You wanna wear one of my shirts, kiddo? That way you can leave the jacket here, safe and sound?”

“Please?”

“Of course. Brush your teeth. Get ready and I’ll bring you one of my shirts once I get pants on.”

She smiles. “Thanks, dad.”

He smiles and nearly tears up when she gives him a tight hug with a whispered “I love you” before going to get ready. Negan continues his little happy dance as sets a shirt on the bathroom handle before he gets dressed in his standard grey jeans tucked into boots, white t-shirt under his signature leather jacket, and the beautiful red scarf that had been a birthday present from his beautiful wife many years ago, tucked securely ‘round his neck. 

He picks up his trusted barbed wire baseball bat and softly ran his fingers around her handle. He’d named it Lucille since she had helped him picked it out ‘cause she wanted her “daddy to have the besses bats in da whole wide wowld” as she told him in her cute little 5 year old voice the day they’d gone shopping when he found out he was gonna be coaching the baseball team at the high school again the next year.

After the world ended, he’d kept the bat close, using it to defend his family, keeping his girls safe, and when they got separated, the scarf and the bat were his way of keeping his family close to him. To remind him of the love, of his family, and the good things he’d had in his life. 

“Dad?” 

Negan jumps and places Lucille in her rightful place on his shoulder as he turns to look at his daughter, who’s fully dressed and in similar attire, sans the leather jacket and scarf. Her knife strapped tightly to her thigh. 

“Yea?”

She giggles. “I’ve been trying to get your attention for the last five minutes. What the fuck’s going on in that old head of yours?”

He laughs and flips her off. “Just remembering the day you helped me pick Lucille out.”

Her brows nearly reach her forehead as she looks questioningly at her father. “Pick Lucille out?”

He nods as he opens the door to lead her out to the hallway so they can get a move on with their day. He explains as they walk down to the trucks.

“Lucille,” He gestures to the bat. “I named her after you when we all got separated. The scarf and the bat...they were my ways of keeping you and your mama close to me. Besides, Lucille here is just as much of a badass as I knew you’d be when you grew up.”

His daughter laughs. “You’re weird, dad. But I think it’s sweet. I mean, I did keep your brown jacket. Ike has the whistle you used to use when you coached. Drives mama crazy when he blows it all the damn time. Mama has your….well she has a lot of your stuff.”

Negan smiles at her words and slings an arm ‘round her shoulders as they walk. His smile grows when he realizes she’s almost as tall as him, even though she’s only 14. Holding the door open for her he leads her out the truck and explains the rules for going outta beyond the walls of the Sanctuary as they walk.

“I’m telling you these, kid, ‘cause I don’t want you to get hurt. I know you can handle yourself if need be. But, I can’t risk losing you again. So, please just stick by my side. And don’t do anything stupid. I will ground your ass the moment we get back. Understand?” He says, giving her a stern look while opening the truck door.

She nods, climbing up and into the big vehicle. “I’ll listen. But only ‘cause I don’t wanna lose you either.”

“Good girl.”

He kisses her head before shutting the door and going ‘round to his side. As soon as he’s in, he glances at her. 

“Seatbelt on. Now.” 

She rolls her eyes but does as he says. “It’s the apocalypse, dad. I don’t think a seatbelt’s gonna do much to save me.”

He stares at her. “Listen, I’ve already been in a deadly wreck that I should not have survived. But I did. And, had I been wearing my seatbelt, I wouldn’t have been thrown through the fuckin’ windshield.”

Her eyes widen as she stares at him in shock, dread filling the pit of her stomach at the thought of her dad in a wreck so bad that he went flying through the windshield. 

“Yea. It was ‘bout as fuckin’ fun as it fuckin’ sounds. And, if I tell you to do somethin’, you fuckin’ do it. It ain’t me just being a father and pulling the “I’m in fuckin’ charge, you listen to me” bullshit card. No. It’s ‘cause I’m trying to fuckin’ protect you.”

She nods fast. “Yes, sir.”

He gives her a small smile before he buckles himself up and cranks the engine. 

“Now. Let’s go get your mama and brother. I got a little boy to meet and the love of my life to kiss!”

Lu groans, grossed out at the thought of her parents kissing. Negan laughs and tells her to get used to it. Once the gates open up, he drives through and with a wave of his hand at his a few of his people, the gates are closed. Negan and Lu talk for a bit while he drives. Eventually, though, he listens to her directions to the community that’s caused him and his family so much grief.

As they roll up on the community, Negan glances over at his daughter, noticing and feeling the anxiety rolling off her. He lays a calming hand on her knee.

“It’s gonna be ok, kiddo. I ain’t gonna let nothing happen to you, your mama, or Ike, ok?” He assures her.

She nods slowly and fidgets with one of the holes in her jeans. Negan brings the truck to a stop outside the gates of Alexandria, and turns to look at his little girl who suddenly looks like a little kid instead of the badass teenager he knows she is. Turning the engine off and tucking the keys in his pocket, he unbuckles them both and pulls her in for a tight hug.

“You trust me, don’t you, kid?” He asks softly.

She nods against him, her arms snaking ‘round him. “Of course.”

He kisses her head. “Then you know I’d die before I let anything happen to you. Nothing’s gonna happen. I’m gonna set Rick the Prick fuckin’ straight, teach him he’s messing with the wrong man, with the wrong family, and he ain’t gonna bother us again.”

“What if he does?”

“I’ll fuckin’ kill him then.”

Lu jerks her head up and looks at him. “What?”

He nods. “I will. If he messes with my family, with what’s mine, he’ll regret it and become a munchie snack for dead.”

“Dad, he has a little girl.”

“Good. Then he should understand the things a father would do to protect his daughter.”

She sighs softly and nods, hugging him tight again. “I just don’t wanna lose you again.”

Negan smiles and tightens his arms ‘round her. “Listen, sweet pea. I wear a leather jacket, I have Lucille, and my nutsack is made of steel. I am not dying until I am damn good and ready.”

She giggles. “That’s gross. I didn’t need to know that ‘bout your nuts, dad. But I get it. You ain’t dying til you’re ready.”

He chuckles. “Ex-fuckin’-actly! And I ain’t gonna be ready for at least another 50 years. I gotta live to at least 100!”

He smiles when he hears her laugh and lets the mumble retort slide. He kisses her head before leaning back. 

“C’mon. Let’s go be badasses and get our family!”

She smiles and nods, getting outta the truck. She waits for him by the gates, brow raised when he starts whistling and bangs the barb-wire bat against the metal gate. 

“Little Pig. Little Pig. Let. Me. In!” He calls out in a sing-song voice, grinning at his daughter’s reaction.

A moment later, the gate opens up, and a somewhat nervous looking man looks at him, glancing at Lu before turning his attention back to Negan.

“Ummm...who are you?” The man, who Lu knows to be Spencer, asks.

“Oh, you better be joking?” He smirks, grinning at the man, watching as his eyes widen a little bit in fear. “Negan…” He gestures with his bat to his daughter. “Lucille…”

“I know who she is. What is she doing with you?”

“That’s none of your fuckin’ business, asswipe. Now, be a good little boy. Let us the fuck in and go get Rick the fuckin’ Prick.”

Spencer sighs but opens the gate to let the father and daughter in before he closes it and scurries off to go get the leader. Negan smirks as he swings his Lucille up on his shoulder and wraps his arms ‘round his daughter’s shoulders. Walking into the community, Negan looks around. 

“Holy shit! It’s the fuckin’ apocalyptic suburbs!” He laughs, grinning when Lu giggles and shakes her head.

“Shut up, dad.” She jabs a finger in his side, between two ribs but it doesn’t do much since the leather jacket’s in the way.

Negan laughs. “C’mon. Let’s go see what this fuckin’ Prick’s all ‘bout.”

“That’s him.” 

Looking to see where his daughter’s pointing, Negan raises a brow. 

“That’s the fucker that managed to get a group together to slaughter 30 of my men, women and children? I’ll be fuckin’ damned.” He mutters.

Lu looks up at him, eyes wide. “He...he did that? Kids?”

Negan sighs and nods. “Yea. That attack I mentioned yesterday, it came from a group known as Alexandria. That’s why I zoned out the moment you mentioned that’s where you were staying.”

“Oh, dad. I’m sorry. I didn’t know. Like I said, Rick doesn’t like anyone who’s not part of his group,” She gestures to the dozen or so people surrounding the community’s leader. “And he doesn’t tell anyone who’s not them what’s going on.”

Negan tugs her a little closer. “I know, sweet pea. I know my little girl could never be a part of something like that. I know I’ve done some shitty things in the last decade, but they’ve all had a purpose. I’d never just murder a bunch of innocents. Let alone fuckin’ kids.”

Lu nods and bites the inside of her lip as she stares at Rick, giving him a look that would kill if it were possible. Rick walks over, looking at her.

“Lucille? What’s going on? What are you doing with him? He’s a murderer!” He exclaims, going based off the stories from Gregory over at Hilltop.

Lu shrugs her dad’s arm off her shoulders and stands up to her full height, looking the former sheriff in the eyes.

“No. You, Rick, are a murderer! How could you kill 30 innocent people? Men, I can kinda understand! But women? CHILDREN? HOW? You say you wanna protect us, but then you kill kids!” She glares.

“How do you know ‘bout that?” He asks, shocked.

“Because! Unlike you, my father doesn’t lie to his kids!”

“Your father?”

Negan smirks and steps up next to Lu again, pride swelling in his chest at his girl. He glares at Rick.

“Howdy there, Sheriff.” He smirks. “You were a sheriff, weren’t? Yea. I bet you fuckin’ were. You just got that arrogant “I’m above the law ‘cause I am the law” look fuckin’ written all over you! And, yes. Her father wouldn’t lie to her. Ok. He might’ve lied ‘bout running outta ice cream or some other silly shit before the world went to shit, but he wouldn’t fuckin’ lie ‘bout another man killing kids. Oooo. I can just see the little wheels in your hamster brain spinning real fuckin’ quick. I bet you’re trying to figure out how the fuck I know ‘bout her father. Take a fuckin’ guess.”

Rick stares at him, mouth slightly open, shock all over his face. 

“No. Seriously. Take a fuckin’ guess. Rick the fuckin’ Prick.” Negan hisses.

“You…her…?” He stutters.

“Winner winner fuckin’ chicken dinner! You guessed it. I’m her fuckin’ father, you prick! And, I dunno ‘bout you, but I would do any-fuckin’-thing to protect my little girl. Even if it meant fuckin’ tell her ‘bout some damn fuck who killed kids!”

Rick’s eyes widen. “You’re Negan…”

“Right a-fuckin’-gain, Prick! Yea. I’m the man you tried to fuckin’ kill when you decided to go all ghung-ho and attacked my fuckin’ outpost! All based off some fuckin’ story from a man with a pair of loose fuckin’ lips that’ll spill whatever they can if it means protecting his sorry fuckin’ ass! I sure hope you ain’t killed any-fuckin’-one else based off a lie!”

“I...we were...I have people to protect!”

“Don’t care!” Negan says in a singsong voice. “I have people to fuckin’ protect too, Prick! Which is why I don’t go killing a fuck ton of fuckin’ people all whilly fuckin’ nilly!”

“I-”

Rick doesn’t get another word in before Lu hauls off and decks him, her father’s earlier words finally processed in her brain. The group of folks standing around all gasp at the turn of events.

“What the hell?!” Rick gasps, clutching his nose.

“YOU TRIED TO KILL MY FATHER?!” She yells.

Negan’s eyes widen. “Ho-ly sh-it! Rick, you done fucked the fuck up! Don’t you know not to piss off Daddy’s little girl? Fuck. She ain’t seen me in 8 years  and she’s still fuckin’ protective over me!”

Lu raises a brow at him before turning back to Rick. She hauls off to deck him again before Negan gently curls his fingers ‘round her wrist with a shake of his head. She sighs and nods, crossing her arms across her chest. Negan kisses her head.

“Good girl. Go get your mama and brother for me, yeah?” He asks, in a soft voice.

She nods and kicks Rick’s shin before storming off to do as she was asked. Negan smirks and pokes his tongue out as he watches her.

“Yep. She’s definitely still Daddy’s little girl.” He chuckles and turns back to Rick. “Alright. Here’s how it’s gonna fuckin’ work, Prick.”

Rick shakes his head and cuts him off. “No. I’m not listening to a word you have to say.”

“Oh, you fuckin’ better listen. I came here with every intention of not laying a damn hand on anyone, you included. Because that’s just the fuckin’ gentleman I am! Now, my daughter hauling off and decking you? I didn't plan on it, but I ain’t sorry it happened. You pissed her the fuck off, and I can tell she’s got my temper. In fact, I still think you got off fuckin’ easy considering what you did. So, either you can either fuckin’ listen to what I’m ‘bout to fuckin’ tell you and no one gets hurt, or I should say no one gets hurt more. Or, I can kill one, just one, of your fuckin’ people and you’ll still listen to what I’m ‘bout to fuckin’ say. Your fuckin’ choice. You have five seconds to fuckin’ decide.”

Rick glares at Negan with his head tilted back slightly to stop the bleeding from his nose. 

“Five.”

Negan raises a brow.

“Four.”

Rick glares.

“Three” 

Lu walks over with a woman and a young kid.

“Two.”

Negan smirks and tightens his grip on Lucille, getting ready to move her off his shoulder.

“O-”

“Fine! Say what you fuckin’ want to say!” 

Negan smirks and relaxes his grip on Lucille, letting her drop down to hang by his side. He stands up straight, towering over Rick a bit. His tongue darts out again, between two rows of insanely perfect white teeth and wets his bottom lip.

“Here’s what’s gonna fuckin’ happen, Rick the fuckin’ Prick. I’m gonna be taking my family. Yes, I have a fuckin’ family. A wife. A daughter. And even a son that I get to meet for the first fuckin’ time. I’m gonna take them home with me. I’m not gonna harm a hair on your head. My daughter might, but I won’t. Because I won’t hurt a little girl’s daddy unless he truly deserves it. Why, you ask? BECAUSE I’M NOT A FUCKIN’ MONSTER! And, my little girl asked me not kill you, because, despite you fuckin’ deserving to be a snack for the fuckin’ dead that are on the outsides of these fuckin’ walls after what you fuckin’ did, you still have a little girl. And every little princess needs her daddy at some point. And I’m not gonna fuckin’ take away from your daughter what mine had snatched from her 8 fuckin’ years ago. When I leave, you’re not gonna fuckin’ try and fuckin’ track me down to try and fuckin’ kill me again. That shit won’t fly. You try, and I WILL SHUT THAT SHIT DOWN! Don’t make me take your daughter’s daddy away from her. I don’t want to do that, but I fuckin’ will if I fuckin’ have to. After I leave, you’re gonna be a fuckin’ good boy, go back to your fuckin’ house, and be a father for your children, “He glances up to see a woman with dreads, keeping a watchful eye over the former sheriff. Negan nods to her to show he ain’t gonna hurt her man, before he looks back at Rick. “And by the looks of it, husband to a woman who is too damn good for your sorry ass. Not trying to run ‘round, playing fuckin’ hero. People are fuckin’ resources, Rick, something you clearly fuckin’ fail to grasp the concept of. You can lead your people, get supplies, and shit to live. You play by the fuckin’ rules, and our paths won’t ever fuckin’ cross again. You don’t play by the rules, there will be consequences. This ain’t baseball, Rick. There aren’t three strikes and you’re out. No. You get one chance. You fuck up and disregard the rules, Lucille here will be dishing up some bloody homeruns, and you will NOT like the score. Am I understood?”

Rick glares at him.

“AM I FUCKIN’ UNDERSTOOD, RICK?” He yells.

The sheriff sighs and nods slowly. “Yea.”

“What the fuck was that?” He cups his ear. “I didn’t quite hear you. My daughter says I’m getting to be an old man, and maybe she’s fuckin’ right. So, I’m gonna need you to speak the fuck up, Rick!”

“Yes, sir! You’re understood!” 

Negan grins and steps back, patting Rick’s shoulder. “That’s a good boy. Now, run the fuck along and get that nasty ass blood off your face.”

Rick sighs before walking away with Michonne following him. Negan closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. When he opens them, his eyes land on a little girl with curly blonde hair. He kneels down, ignoring the popping of joints. He gently lays his bat down on the ground and looks the little girl.

“C’mere, sweetie.” He says in a soft voice.

The girl looks up at a young boy, who Negan can tell is her big brother. The boy glares at Negan for a moment til the man gives him a gentle nods and an understanding is reached between them. The boy looks at his little sister and gently nudges her, letting her know it’s ok to go to the tall man crouched down. 

She does a mixture of a waddle and a run to get to Negan. He smiles as she giggles softly when he gently scoops her up in his arms, standing once again. He tickles her belly and kisses her cheek, making the girl blush and giggle.

“You are just the cutest little angel! Yes you are!” He coos softly. “What’s your name, sweetie?”

She giggles. “”Ju!”

“Her name’s Judith. She goes by Judy too.” The young boy says, walking a little closer, clearing protective of his younger sister.

Negan smiles and tickles Judith. “Such a pretty name for such a pretty little sweetheart! You your daddy’s little princess?”

She giggles and nods fast, curls bouncing on her head. She wraps his little arms ‘round her tummy, giggling and babbling a little bit, telling him all about how she’s a princess. Negan smiles and just listens, nodding along with her. 

“Well, I have to agree with you, sweetie. You are definitely a princess!” He coos, making her squeal with giggles. “Now, you go be the bestest princess in the whole world, ok? Always keep your daddy and big brother on their toes!”

She giggles and nods. “Otay!”

Negan smiles and hands her back to her brother, looking at him. “You’re both good kids. Even if your dad can be shitty. You’re both good. And, I want you to know that I would never, ever harm a kid, ok? You have my fuckin’ word on that. I would rather die before I had to hurt a kid. All I want is to be with my family. I’ve missed the last 8 years of my daughter’s life. Last time I saw her, she was just a few years older than your sister here. And, I’ve never even met my son. As long as your dad doesn’t mess with me, my family, and my people again, I won’t bother him, ok? You’ll never have to see me again, unless you want to come hang out with a bunch of kids, ‘cause there are a bunch at the place I call home. Some are newborns and they range all the way up to your age and my daughter’s.”

The boy’s eyes widen as he holds his little sister. “Really?”

Negan nods and smiles. “Mmhhmm. Kids are the future, boy. And I’d protect each and every last one of them to my dying breath. And if you come over, that would include you too. I know I’m not necessarily the best person on the planet, but then again no one is these days. And, I can assure you whatever story your daddy’s been spoon fed ain’t completely true. Yes. I’ve killed. But they’ve been men who deserved it. And by that I mean they either laid a hand on a woman or a child. Or they’ve forced themselves on someone, which is a big fuckin’ no-no. Either way, I don’t kill just for the pure hell of it. I do it to protect others. You’ve had to kill to protect someone, haven’t you?”

The boy nods slowly. “My mom. She died when Judy was born. I had to kill her before she turned and killed my sister.”

Negan’s eyes widen. “Well fuckin’ shit. I wasn’t fuckin’ expecting that. I’m sorry, kid. You did what you had to in order to protect your sister. I’ve done what I’ve had to protect the people I take care of. I’m telling you this ‘cause I can tell you’ve seen some shit, more than just killing your mom,  in your life. Shit no kid should have to ever see. But times change when the dead start walking. Kids have to grow up faster than they need to. But I’d do anything and everything I could to try and help them stay kids a little longer. Being an adult sucks ass. So, try to be a kid for a little longer, ok? Soak it up.”

The kid nods. “Yes, sir.”

Negan smiles a little and ruffles the boy’s hair since his sister took his hat. “Good. Now, maybe I’ll see you again if you want to come play with kids. If I don’t, just know that you’re badass, ok? And you’ve got my respect. Something not a lot of folks have.”

The boy nods fast. “Ok.”

“What’s your name, boy?”

“Carl.”

“Nice to meet you, Carl. You keep on being a badass.”

Negan grins as the boy nods fast and then leans down to kiss Judith’s hair. “Bye, Princess!”

She giggles and waves as Negan walks away, straight to the three people who mean the world to him. The reasons he has to keep on living. He watches as a little boy watches him and after a moment, runs to him, squealing happily as he leaps into the tall man’s arms, with a screeching “DADDY!” ringing through the air.

Negan tears as he catches the little boy, scooping him up in his arms, kissing his head for the first time in the kid’s life, hugging him tight.

“Hi, baby boy! I’m so glad I finally get to meet you!” He says, his voice cracking. “You been taking care of your mommy?”

The little boy smiles widely and nods fast. “I’m a big boy! And I keep mommy safe!”

Negan smiles. “I’m sure you fuckin’ do! Does daddy’s big boy have a name?”

Another toothy grin is flashed. “Issac! But mommy calls me Ike!”

“Ike? Hmmm. That sounds like a damn good name for a big boy who protects his mommy!”

Ike giggles and nods fast. “Mommy said you my daddy?”

“Your mommy would be fuckin’ right, little man. I am your daddy! Wanna know how I know I’m your daddy?” 

“How?” Wide eyes and a curious face look up at him.

“Because, little man,” Negan smiles. “You have the same hair color as me.” He lightly tugs on a few strands of jet black hair. “You have the same cute dimples as me.” He gently pokes chubby little cheeks, making the boy smile widely, showing off dimples. “And! Your mommy said I’m your daddy. She’s a smart lady, and she always tells the truth!”

Ike giggles and nods fast. “Mommy does do that!” 

Negan chuckles and kisses his son’s head again, doing everything in his power not to start crying as his little boy hugs him tight and murmurs against his jacket.

“Love you, daddy.”

“And, I love you too, my little man.” 

His statement earns him a happy squeal and another tight hug as little legs wrap ‘round his waist. Negan tightens his arms ‘round the little human clinging to him like a fly on a strip of duct tape. He closes his eyes and savors the feeling of holding his son in his arms for the first time. Issac clings to him, the man he’s known as his daddy without having ever met him.

He knows his mommy and sister were right. This is his daddy and there’s nowhere else he’d rather be. He rubs his face against the smooth leather jacket and lets out a happy noise, before he starts crying.

“Ike?” He hears daddy’s voice ask. “What’s wrong?”

He sniffles and clings to him more. “Missed you, daddy. I happy you here now.”

His little heart nearly bursts with happiness as he feels super strong arms tighten ‘round him again and a gentle, yet heavy hand rests on his back, keeping him close. Keeping him safe. Letting him know it’s ok to relax, so he does. His little body sagging in the strong, safe arms, holding him close to a warm chest.

“Daddy’s got you, little man. You’re safe now. I fuckin’ promise.” He hears the words murmured in his ear by a gentle voice. “Daddy’s never leaving you. Never letting you go. Never gonna stop loving you.”

Ike cries harder, his tears soaking into the leather of his daddy’s jacket. He feels a soft kiss against his temple. He doesn’t realize that the words are almost identical to the words murmured to his big sister the day sister. He doesn’t care ‘bout that. All he cares ‘bout is the fact that his daddy’s here now, that he’s never gonna leave him, that’s he’s safe, and that his daddy’s always gonna love him.

He sniffles, rubbing a snotty nose across slightly wet leather, his tears slowly drying up as he grips the smooth fabric in his tiny hands, never wanting to let go. Negan holds him close, rubbing his back with soft, gentle movements, eyes closed as he presses his own nose in his son’s hair. He curls his fingers a little to lightly scratch the little boy’s back, helping him relax. 

After a few moments, the two lift their heads and stare at each other. Ike reaches a hand up, running his fingers through his daddy’s beard, and giggles at the feeling.

“Dat tickles!” 

Negan laughs and rubs his face back and forth across a tiny outstretched palm, making more giggles erupt from inside the tiny boy in his arms. 

“Do you like it when daddy’s beard tickles your hand?” He asks, getting a super fast nod in response. “Yea? I bet it’d tickle your tummy! What do you think?”

Ike giggles and shakes his head. “Noooo!”

“I think it would! Should we find out?” 

After a brief moment of thinking it over, and before the little kid can reply, he’s lifted higher in Negan’s arms as his shirt gets raised and suddenly his daddy’s beard is tickling his tummy as he blows raspberries above his belly button. Ike squeals with giggles and tries to push his shirt back down and he wiggles in Negan’s arms. 

“DADDY!!! STOOOOOOOPP! DAT TICKLES!!” He squeals, giggling, his little face a bright red.

Negan laughs and gently tugs his shirt back down, covering his son’s tummy. 

“I told you it’d tickle!” He chuckles.

Ike giggles. “Bad daddy!”

Negan pretends to pout like he’s been scolded, but it doesn’t last long as both he and his son start grinning from ear to ear and one giggles while the other laughs softly, kissing his head.

“Should daddy tickle mommy with his beard? Hmmm? Give her tickle kisses?” Negan asks, his eyes dancing with happiness as he glances up at the most beautiful woman in the world, then his daughter standing next to her, before looking back at his son. 

“NO!” His wife says, giggling.

“YES!” Both his kids say, giggling.

Negan smirks and looks up at his wife, once more. “Sorry, baby. Looks like it’s 3 to 1. The kids voted I give you tickle kisses!”

“You do it, Negan Alexander, and you might get slapped!” 

He chuckles at the threat that has no heat behind the words as he walks closer to her. “That’s a risk I’m willing to take, sweetheart. It’s been too fuckin’ long since we’ve kissed.”

He grins and steps right in front of his beautiful wife. Biting his bottom lip between his teeth, he gently sets Ike down, smiling when the little boy wraps his arms ‘round his leg, holding onto him. Negan reaches up with both hands and gently cups his wife’s cheeks, gazing into her eyes. 

“Kiss me, baby, and I’ll take you home.”

A bright smile lifts her lips up as a teasing glint is seen in Leigh’s eyes as she leans into her husband’s touch. 

“Promise?” She whispers.

“I fuckin’ promise promise, baby.” Negan replies, his voice a low murmur.

A moment later, their lips meet as he lowers his head and she lifts herself up on her tiptoes, both with their eyes closed. Negan moans softly against the soft lips pressed to his as he feels his wife wrap her arms ‘round his neck, pulling him closer. He drops his hands from her cheeks and lets them settle on her hips as he gives a slight tug, bringing her body closer to his. 

Their lips part slightly as his tongue lightly runs along hers, begging permission for something terribly missed over the years. Gaining the needed permission, Negan lets his tongue glide across his wife’s, engaging in a dance not performed in almost a decade, but never forgotten. Slowly pulling back, he places a quick kiss on her plump lips once more before completely lifting his head and opening his eyes.

His smile turns into a lazy smirk as he takes into the sight of his well and properly kissed wife who brings a hand from ‘round his neck to rest against her lips as her eyes flutter open and gaze up him.

“So fuckin’ worth the risk of getting slapped.”

Leigh’s laughter fills his body and soul, making him feel like the happiest motherfucker on the God forsaken planet where the dead walk and the living fight each other. His son’s fit of giggles only makes him happier as he scoops him back up, perching him on his hip. His daughter’s giggle and eye roll makes him chuckle before pulling her to him, wrapping his free arm ‘round her, hugging her close.

“So...shall Daddy take his family home now?” He asks, glancing at the three most important people in his life.

A chorus of “Yes”’s ring out from the kids while his wife smirks and nods.

“You did promise promise, Daddy.”

#Daddy's Family #A Negan One-Shot #Negan Fluff #Negan Angst #Negan With a Happy Ending #Negan Always Deserves a Happy Ending #Father Negan #Daddy Negan #Jeffrey Dean Morgan #Jeffrey Dean Morgan Fluff #Jeffrey Dean Morgan Angst #JDM #JDM Fluff #JDM Angst #JDM as Negan #The Walking Dead #The Walking Dead Fluff #The Walking Dead Angst #TWD #TWD Fluff #TWD Angst

[sammansonn]

My thoughts on the 100 7x05

right off the bat Octavia reminds us that she is a Bad Bitch (as if we could’ve forgotten)

when the crazy fanatic said that they'd keep dying until russell was freed i was so concerned because my immediate response was "cool let them die and problem solved” which is maybe Not the best route to go (even if murphy felt the same way)

i love emori and murphy so much, like i’ve always liked them and all but i feel like i only Really started liking emori last season and this season i just Love Her

watching octavia getting questioned/tortured fucking Hurted

like when “redemption” echoed???? i Cried

i just love octavia and am so glad she got those 10 years of being a happy family, and i genuinely got emotional watching her and bellamy at the end 

this levitt dude really be the #1 Octavia Stan and im HERE FOR IT

i also loved him using “go float yourself” a real Icon

i just really loved him in general and i hope he doesn’t get killed i was really worried levitt was gonna get caught for helping them and i just want him to make it out alive and to the good side (the good side being our main characters even though, are they’re really any good guys???)

he also has strong gabriel energy in the fact that they both love octavia and i love them both and they’re both pretty nerdy

obviously i don’t Really want octavia to get in a relationship because girl needs to Heal and just be with her fam of Bell, Clarke, Hope, Madi, and Dioyza (also i hope Dioyza’s alive, we haven’t seen her at All and im kinda Concerned) But if they were gonna put Octavia in a relationship both Gabriel and levitt are just Waiting there, ready to love octavia Forever

i just really liked Levitt (also he looks like raphael from shadowhunters)

gabriel just sighing as hope and echo keeping killing people is a Mood

i’m So Intrigued as to why clarke is so special to these people like i know shes Amazing and a Goddess but a key??? what does that Mean??

also the actor who plays Andor also played damien dahrk of arrow he’s just Real Good at playing villains he just looks so punchable and i really commend that actor on that

okay indra was kinda pissing me off recently but i’m So Glad she figured out sheidheda is back becuase it was really Concerning me

the whole time thing of this season really Fucks with my head (not in a bad way tho), its just so strange to think that in the span of a week hope went back to sanctum, stabbed octavia, lived on skyring with gabriel and echo for 5 years, and came and got octavia Again, all in 7 Days in bardo time, very Strange

also from what we saw im gathering that when octavia returned to bardo she got all her memories back from skyring and stuff too, right? because she seemed to know levitt? so im hoping that when she and bellamy reunite again she’ll have all those memories because she really grew so much during that time and learned so much about herself and bellamy and i just want her to have those 10 years (also i obviously want her to be able to remember all the time with hope and stuff too because i love those two and really want to see them together more especially now that Hope’s an adult they’re just so cute) 

i was genuinely just So Happy to see bellamy i Really missed him and wish he had been in the episode longer and hope he’s in more of the episode next week because God Damn i love him

okay so bellamy is definitely Not Dead becuase that would be So Dumb my guess is that he jumped into the bridge before the explosion but the explosion messed something up so he didn’t end up in sanctum, instead he’s on a different planet (maybe even that same icy planet clarke is now on👀👀👀👀 idk i can Hope) 

also echo is a Mess like i get you were upset girl but you really gotta be Logical

its also interesting when looking at last episode she chose logic over emotion by killing the guys and betraying orlando because it was logical even though it hurt someone she had grown to care for but Now she but her anger and sadness of losing bellamy over the logical action of keeping the hostage

and i think some could use this to say “echo is just a shitty person so likes killing” but i don't think thats true at all

she’s been raised as a soldier since she was So Young, so naturally she is a very logical person, in fact most of what we’ve seen from her is logic, even the things we’ve seen her do that were “evil” or violent were very logical when looking at it from her view

but as we know echo is Not Good at being her own person, she literally almost killed herself at the end of season 4 because she felt that was what she needed to do as penance for her failing the ice nation and then in space she latched onto space kru, to have a sense of loyalty again, and i think she Specifically latched onto Bellamy because 1) they did know each other before but mostly 2) he was the one who stopped her from killing herself, so i think in that moment of losing herself entirely, she found bellamy as a person to store her faith and loyalty into

and this all leads to that last scene with echo killing that dude, echo is obviously upset that bellamy is dead because she does love him (not in the way she thinks she does but ya know) but i think she’s more upset because of that same sense of failing bellamy

before when she almost killed herself she didn’t have anyone to blame for what happened but herself, she obviously couldn’t be mad at ice nation or even at skykru really, so she could only blame herself, but in the situation of losing bellamy, there is a clear subject of blame in echo’s eyes, so when she once again feels lost and hopeless, she chooses emotion over logic and takes it out on that guy that she uses as a point of blame

anyway y’all can still hate echo i’m not saying you can’t, but i just don’t think she’s a “bad” person (i mean compared with everyone else on the show, most of whom have committed war crimes so are technically bad people compared to a real person in our world)

so in conclusion: i love the blakes and the griffins and levitt and want to give them all hugs, also the sanctum plot is alright i guess, im way more into bardo rn (mostly because thats where the blakes are) but honeslt yay attention is also Wherever Clarke is (also where was madi??? we also didn’t see her last episode?? does she know where her mom is? i’m just generally concerned for her and miss her) 

hopes for next week: more Clarke!!! more Bellamy!!! also octavia pls! and also i’d like to know who knocked gaia out and what they did to the stones because i just remembered that was a thing

#wow this was a Real Mess #ya girl just had a lot of Thoughts this week i guess #the 100 #the 100 spoilers #clarke griffin #bellamy blake #octavia blake #john murphy #emori #indra #echo kom azgeda #hope diyoza #tw suicide

[heartbreaknow]

Vampire!Peter Imagine

I’ve been sitting on my vampire!Peter imagine for a couple of months now, thinking about whether there’s any chance I might want to turn it into an actual fic, ever. But this week seems to be vampire!Starker week on tumblr (\o/), so I’m just gonna post the damn thing before I completely miss the boat. 

NOTE: This takes a bit to get dirtysexy y’all, but it gets there eventually. This has been my one effort at self-promotion. That is all. 👍

~

The way it starts is: Peter gets bitten by something while on an Avengers mission in space. (Ever since the whole situation with Thanos, space missions have become a thing they occasionally do, much to Peter’s delight and Tony’s…whatever the absolute furthest thing from delight is.) So there they are, trekking through an oddly echo-less cave on some alien planet, and suddenly some kind of creature—smallish and not overly threatening—bites Peter and then skitters away into the darkness before he can even get a look at it.

By the time they get back to the ship, Peter can’t find any trace of a mark from the bite, and he’s not even sure how something could bite through his suit anyway, and honestly, Peter’s not sure he didn’t just imagine it.  Maybe something in his suit just went haywire for a second and jabbed him. That could happen, right?

~

The Avengers return from the mission and everything is fine for a couple of days.

But then Peter begins feeling mysteriously light-sensitive and feverish, and by the time a week has passed he finds himself developing a…craving. At first, he can’t even put his finger on what it is he’s craving, but over time it begins to distill into a strange, relentless kind of hunger, and a corresponding urge to- well- bite people. (The first time Peter notices it, he’s in the lab with Mr Stark, and it goes away when he leaves the lab. But pretty soon its become a constant nagging hunger.)

Peter tries to ignore it for as long as possible, kind of downplaying it to himself and assuming it’ll pass, because it’s just too weird to really be happening. But the longer it goes on, the sicker he feels, and the hungrier he gets.

Until one night, nearly two weeks after the space mission, Peter finds a lost dog while he’s dragging himself weakly through his nightly patrol. The dog has an ID tag, so he catches it, with the intent of returning it to its owners—but then everything gets kind of weird in his head, and he goes into some kind of trance and drinks the dog’s blood. Which is horrifying, obviously, and also just objectively super gross.

Clearly, ignoring the blood-thirst and denying there’s a problem isn’t working.

(Also, even though the dog’s blood satisfies the obsessive hunger that’s been building in him for days, it tastes foul and gives him a massive stomach ache.)

 ~

So Peter, who is now very much freaking out, goes straight to Tony and explains the symptoms he’s experiencing. At first he kind of hedges a little, and doesn’t immediately tell Tony about the dog, because he can’t bear for Mr Stark to look at him with disgust. Unfortunately, that leads to Mr Stark not really getting how serious it is. He just makes a Lucy the vampire bride joke, and suggests it’s some kind of spidey version of Pica; asks how Peter’s nutrition is; tells Peter he’s a growing superhero, and he can’t subsist on ramen and Gatorade alone.

Until finally Peter blurts out, “Idrankadog’sblood!”

It’s kind of a showstopper.

Tony’s like, “Um, excuse me, you—you killed a dog?”

Peter is instantly aghast. “What? No! Oh my god, no, I just…bit it…some. And then I found its owners.” And then, after a second’s pause: “Oh god, what if the dog is a vampire now? And I just left it with that nice family! I’ve gotta go warn them!” 

~ 

As it turns out, the dog is not a vampire. But Peter…kind of is?

Apart from the dog-biting incident, Peter has also suddenly grown a pair of retractable fangs, his pupils react weirdly to light, and when stimulated, his fangs disgorge a small amount of some kind of venom—the properties of which they are working on isolating.

As soon as they prove there is in fact something happening to Peter, Tony is immediately adamant they will find a cure for whatever it is. But the first couple days of tests yield no real answers, and by then Peter is getting hungry again.

That’s about the time they discover Peter vomits up bagged blood pretty violently. So that’s Plan A off the table.

~

When Peter starts looking sallow and jittery, and Tony notices him chewing his own lip until it bleeds and then licking up the blood, Tony thinks, Fuck it, and goes out and buys him a nice, robust-looking American Bulldog. PETA can sue him.

Peter tries to refuse Mr Stark’s, uh, provision, but his protests are weak. He’s so hungry. It doesn’t take long before he gives in.

Unfortunately, dog blood doesn’t work so well the second time around. This time, the taste is so foul Peter can barely keep it down, and what’s worse, within minutes of feeding he’s doubled over with the worst stomach pain of his life 

They try a couple other types of animals, with the same results: nauseating flavor and crippling stomach pain.    

So alright, Plan B is maybe not as viable as they thought it was, either.

~

Peter puts on a brave face, and insists that it’s fine, he doesn’t need to eat. He can tough it out, at least for a little while longer. But after another couple of days, he looks like death warmed over, and Tony suspects he doesn’t feel much better than he looks.

Also, Peter starts keeping at least a couple of steps between himself and Tony in the lab at all times. And when, out of habit, Tony gets close enough to give his shoulder a squeeze, Peter jerks away lightning fast, and Tony swears he sees a glint of something in Peter’s mouth, right before he clamps it shut.  

So yeah, Tony’s worried about him.

~

The fifth morning without blood, Peter doesn’t show up in the lab.

Worried, Tony goes to check on him.

He barely makes it three steps into Peter’s room before he finds himself pinned to Peter’s bedroom door, with a black-eyed, fangy Peter leaning into him, panting and staring at his neck.

This new Peter, with his needle-sharp cuspids, and his demonic-possession eyes, should be terrifying—and it’s not that he isn’t, per se. It’s just that he’s Peter. And Tony remembers how Peter didn’t kill the dog either time he fed, even though he must’ve been pretty damn desperate the first time. So instead of trying to get free, or snap Peter out of it, Tony looks Peter right in his black, iris-less eyes, and says, “Okay, kid. Mealtime,” and tilts his head to the side, baring his neck. Then he reaches up, and guides Peter down.

~

Being bitten is incomparable to anything Tony’s ever felt before. It’s weird, and unnerving, and intimate, and probably incredibly dangerous. And Tony really, really wishes it didn’t feel so goddamn good.

He has enough to feel guilty about as it is (his feelings for the kid are something he’s been studiously not looking too closely at for a while now). He really doesn’t need to add “My mentee’s in the middle of a serious health crisis and I can’t stop thinking about what it felt like to have him latched onto my neck like the world’s hottest leech” to his laundry list of mental depravity.

~

When Peter’s head clears after the feeding, he freaks out and basically flees the tower, horrified at what he’s done.

A couple hours later he’s back again, looking defeated and miserable, and not meeting Tony’s eyes. He realizes he can’t be trusted to be among the general population unmonitored until they know more about his condition. And if whatever is wrong with him gets worse and they need to lock him up, the tower and the compound are the only places with rooms that can reliably contain him.

~

The second time Peter feeds from Tony, Tony suggests that Peter try feeding from his wrist instead. It’s mainly for his own sanity that he makes the suggestion, but outwardly he reasons that wrist feeding is probably safer and more comfortable for them both. Peter nods quietly and agrees, eyes meeting Tony’s and then quickly skittering away.

Tony does find the sensation somewhat less overwhelming when Peter feeds from his wrist instead of his neck—but only somewhat. It still feels bizarrely, almost maddeningly good, like somehow Peter’s feeding has turned his wrist into an erogenous zone. Or possibly his entire body.  

~

Peter and Tony quickly find themselves falling into a routine: research, data collection, tests, and feedings.

Peter will hold off from feeding until his pupils begin to dilate and his skin gets sallow, and the way he looks at Tony as he moves around the lab begins to take on a sharp, slightly animal quality. Then, when Tony is pretty sure Peter’s desperate enough to actually give in, he says, very clearly, very directly, “Kid, come here,” and gestures Peter over with a jerk of his head that’s a hell of a lot more casual than he feels. And just like that, Peter goes to him.

At first, Tony thinks the feeling of Peter feeding from him might become less intense once he gets used to it, but it doesn’t work out that way. A bit the opposite, truthfully.

After a couple of weeks, Tony finds himself fixating: on Peter’s mouth, on his pliant lips and his defined jaw, on he way it hinges open over Tony’s pounding pulse-point. He finds himself growing to love the way Peter ends up curled around his arm every time he feeds, his side pressed against Tony’s front, tucked in close, shoulder to sternum. Generally Tony has to find something to brace against, or Peter will push him off balance with the force of his hunger.

Tony finds that the site where Peter has bitten him begins to feel hot and over-sensitive constantly, but especially right before a feeding. Like there’s too much blood too close to the surface.

Tony finds himself wanting to give Peter what he needs over and over again. Craving it, even.

But Peter’s made it pretty clear that no matter how much this thing in his head enjoys feeding, he himself hates it, and is intent on doing it as infrequently as possible. (Peter’s never overtly said he hates it, not in so many words, but the way he refuses to feed until he’s famished, and the tense, nervous way he looks at Tony whenever it’s  getting close to meal time, is pretty eloquent.) And Tony can’t—won’t—allow himself to undermine Peter’s resolve about this. Not when the kid’s just trying to hang onto as much autonomy as he can while this thing runs roughshod over his hierarchy of needs.

So he watches Peter constantly, looking for signs of hunger—then forces himself not to say anything once he does see the signs. He makes himself wait while Peter works through the craving, hour after hour, his eyes getting slowly darker each time Tony catches one of his furtive glances. Until eventually Tony can’t stand it anymore.

When he unbuttons his shirt cuff and calls Peter to him, it’s all he can do to make it sound like a casual offer.

~ 

Tony hates himself for enjoying it—the feedings. For practically getting off on them. For literally getting off on them, later, when he’s by himself—his bruised, throbbing wrist shoved against his own mouth, tonguing lewdly at the place where Peter’s snake-like cuspids slid sharpnumbhot into his skin. Fuck. His other hand shoved down his boxers, jacking himself off to the thought of how Peter always clings to him as he feeds—how he struggles to stay lucid and only ever half succeeds. Tony tries not to think about Peter’s slippery tongue chasing a droplet of blood down his neck, the very first time he ever fed off Tony. He tries not to think about Peter’s mouth while he fucks furiously into his own fist, smothering a groan. Peter’s innocent mouth, smeared red and panting. Fuck, oh, fuck.

Tony hates himself for it, all of it. But he can’t stop.

- - - - END - - - -

It’s killing me to leave it here because I have so many more bullet point ideas written out for this imagine. But on the off chance I ever write some of this as an actual fic, I don’t want to have described the entire thing before hand. So I guess I’ll quit here.

But for context: I kind of like the idea of paired feeding being habit-forming for both parties. So like, not only does it feel really, really good, but over time they both start to get kind of physiologically addicted to it. 

I’m thinking maybe whatever weird-ass critter bit Peter, feeding is part of its mating ritual. Like, maybe it’s a symbiotic pair-bonding species that mates for life, and determines the suitability of its mate base on how well the blood-drinking half takes to the blood-providing half’s blood, and how well the blood-providing half responds to the blood-drinking half’s venom. (Yes, this is really putting the pseudo in pseudoscience. Just go with it?)

The problem for Peter and Tony is that, despite being profoundly compatible, they keep repeating the mating behavior over and over without resolution—thus causing things to kind of...escalate. 

#starker #starker imagine #peter x tony #vampire!peter #nff #not horror at all #but some light horror elements herein #sexy biological imperatives are my jam

[livingbecauseofwriting]

Hi all! So here’s the first requested fic! Yay! It took me a while because 1) I got really carried away with it and 2) I didnt know how to end it and it took a while. I still don’t really like the ending, I feel like it could be smoother and offer a better resolution but I honestly had no idea what else to do with it and I really wanted to get it out. Anyway so I hope you guys like it! Keep sending stuff in! Love y’all! (I’m posting this from my phone instead of a computer so if the format is weird let me know)

————————————————————————————————————————

Requested by @diana-24-world

“Can you write what it would be like to be married to Draco Malfoy if Voldemort won the war.”

I don’t know if this is exactly satisfies what is requested or what you were looking for but I hope you enjoy it anyway! If you don’t like it I can try to write up something that better follows the request. Thank you!

Ps. There’s a lot of backstory....I really like back story...sorry not sorry

In this together

No one ever expected life to be like this.

When the war started, everyone had so much hope in Dumbledore’s army. There was no way Voldemort would win.

But then it happened. Harry Potter was actually dead.

When you walked through those large doors of Hogwarts for the first time over 10 years ago now, you could have never expected that your life would have turned out like this, Voldemort controlling the whole magic world and you married to the one person no one has expected...Draco Malfoy.

Draco caught your eye in your first year. You would have never admitted it and with you being in Gryffindor and he in Slytherin any chance with him was doomed. He was never outright mean to you, which was always kind of odd seeing as you were friends with the golden trio. He would mock and criticize them but when he got to you, it was almost like he was trying not to be as harsh, trying not to hurt you but still wanted to look tough to his piers. This went on for almost two years.

Your romance started that summer before your third year. Your father recently started working with Lucius at the ministry so you found yourself suspending a lot of time close to Draco and despite how hard you both tried to deny it, something drew you two together. Draco has never experienced anything like it and it terrified him, but you took it slow and showed him that he was worthy and capable of love.

When you went back to school, you both knew you had to keep your romance a secret. Draco occasionally yelled at you in the halls as you walked with the trio, trying hard to cover up the stutter and hesitation in his voice as he called after you with some “supposed to be insulting” comment. However, he would always seek you out later in the day, pulling you into some unoccupied classroom or a dark hallway to kiss you and apologize reassuring you that he didn’t mean it and you’d always laugh and assure him that you knew he didn’t and you still loved him.

Your secret rendezvous didn’t stay a secret for very long. Professor Lupin has come in as the new D.A.D.A and turned everything on its head when one day you all arrived at class to find the desks and chair pushed aside and a wardrobe sitting in the middle of the room. Hermione, of course, was quick to answer the question of Boggart and you were quite intrigued by the lesson. You didn’t know what to expect when you stepped in front of the boggart for your turn. Anything would have been better then what you saw.

It was Draco. He stood there in front of you, that cocky ass smirk on his face, the one that made him look like he thought he was better than everyone. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion along with the rest of the class who were whispering and chattering behind you. Draco too was stunned as he watched the scene in front of him unfold, slowly pushing through the crowd to you.

You just starred, looking at the boy you loved in front of you. You weren’t scared of him how could this be your boggart. But then he opened his mouth. Vile, cruel words pushed past his lips like a flood. The boggart slowly inches closer to you as he spoke.

“Now how could you ever believe I’d love something as pathetic as you...a mudblood at heart. A traitor to the pureblood name. How could anyone love such a horrid person? You are nothing. Nothing compared to me. A disgrace to the magic world, and a burden

On all those around you...why are you even still here...”

Tears began silently falling from your eyes as words continued to pour from

His lips as he walked closer and closer and standing just inches from you he rose his hand ready to strike you but before he could his eyes went wide and the light flooded from them. Blood soaked his shirt and the boggart Draco gasped for air collapsing in front of you. He was dying. And even with his last breath, he spoke nothing but cruelty towards you, yet you still loved him. Collapsing by his side you screamed in agony at his dead body. It was all so real that you jumped when Professor Lupin interfered and changed the blood-soaked Draco Into a cloud of bubbles that drifted away.

You lifted your tear-filled eyes to finally meet the stunned class in front of you, Draco standing in the front, mouth agape. You got up as quick as you could a ran out of the classroom, Draco close behind.

You turned down a dark hallway and collapsed to the ground when you felt like you were far enough from everyone else. Draco soon came and fell down next to you, cradling your shaking figure in his arms.

“Shhh..shh I’m here love. I’m here. I’m ok....”  He whispered in your ear as he caresses the top of your head softly, just letting you cry into his robes for as long as you needed. He felt so stupid. You spent so much time assuring him that you still loved him and that he was worthy of your love that he didn’t even think that maybe you needed to hear the same. You always told him that the fake insults didn’t hurt, and yes you knew it wasn’t real but deep down you latched on to them and let them consume you, but never showed it. He had no idea and he hated himself for it. You were terrified of losing him..but worst of all losing him and him never having cared about you.

When your cries finally turned into soft sniffles Draco pulled away, cupping your cheeks in his hands and tilting your head up so he could look you in the eye.

“I’m so sorry...Darling...I need you to know that I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here with you until the very end. I love you sweetheart...and I always will...I have never felt like this before...not even with my own family. You make me want to be good, want to be a better person. You make me want to defy my parents and be better than they’re trying to make me....you make me a better man...I’m not going anywhere...I’m sorry love but you're stuck with me...and if you ever doubt that...if you ever feel that fear of what we just witnessed in that classroom, then I will be here to tell you it’s not true....I’m in this forever...if you’ll have me....”

He chuckled and you smiled kissing him deeply. You say there for a while just in each other presence. The teachers had been informed of the incident and knew not to worry or go looking if you didn’t show up to class, you needed time to process.

Lupin found you later and sat down with you and Draco to make sure everything ok and assured you, you didn’t fail the lesson. But that’s not what worried you. It was your classmates. The next few days were tense. The trio walked on eggshells around you but you could tell they were upset. Hermione has to keep the boys from voicing there opinions and disapproval. It took a while for everyone to accept and get used to it but it happened. Obviously, Draco didn’t suddenly start hanging out with all of you and become best friends with the trio. There was still a lot of tension there and despite your pleads, there were still quite a few fights that happened between them.

The worst of it came during your 6th year. Draco was...off. You had barely seen him all summer and when you both finally got back to school he was very closed off and even avoided you at times. You didn’t take it well when one night Harry in the dorms Harry accuses him of being a Death Eater. Hermione yelled at him quite a lot for having just said that to you when there was no evidence. You knew his parents where Death Eaters but Draco had tried so hard to NOT be like his parents, you just couldn’t believe it.

But one by one, things started happening at Hogwarts. First the necklace than the wine Ron drank. Draco was fully on avoiding you at all costs and it was taking a toll. When the trio came into the dorms one day to find you distraught and crying over him, confused because he refused to talk to you, they knew something was wrong. As much as they disapproved of Draco, they knew he’d never treat you like this...unless he had no choice.

You were the first person he came to after the fight in the bathroom with Harry. His blood covered clothes scared you half to death. He was distraught. He looked sick...like he hadn’t eaten or slept in days. You collapsed in your arms a began telling you everything. When he was done you were crying as well. You tried to reason with him, beg him to stop, and you knew he wanted to, but you also knew there was nothing either did you could do.

You were relieved when he couldn’t go through with it, heartbroken that Dumbledore was gone, but so thankful it wasn’t by Draco hand, that would have destroyed him.

You see, no one saw the real Draco, they only saw who he wanted them to see. The tough, powerful pure lips who didn’t have a heart or empathy. But you knew a different Draco. No one saw the boy who felt everything but refused to show it, burying it deep inside only letting it come out when he was alone. No one saw the boy who crumbled under the pressure to live up to his father’s impossible standards, despite every fiber in his being telling him to rebel. No one saw the boy who just wanted to be recognized and loved. The boy who just wanted to make his family proud despite what it did to him. No one saw the boy who would take a curse for you, the boy who would lay down his life for you. No one saw how deeply he could feel, and how much he cared for the ones he loved. No one saw any of it, except you.

Recovering from the events of that year took time. Especially with Voldemort on the rise and the war rising at an alarming rate. Draco wanted to run away with you, get away from everything and just be together, but you refused to leave your friends.

During the war you let the tears fall as Draco walked over to his Parents standing outside of Hogwarts with Voldemort and the other Death Eaters. His eyes were so sad, so ashamed with himself. He knew you wouldn’t join him and it broke his heart but the control his family had over him was unbearable. He was like a puppet in their show and not even you could save him from it.

Your heart tore in two as Harry’s lifeless body dangled in Hagrid’s arms. It must be a joke you thought, some part of his plan. Any minute he would wake up and save the day.. everyone waited..but nothing happened.

Voldemort had won.

The world was never the same after that. Voldemort has destroyed Hogwarts and most of Dumbledore’s army. Ron and Hermione fought to the last second but managed to get away when it was clear there was no hope. They lived off in some small house on the coast out in the middle of nowhere, where no one could find them. They made do, refusing to be apart of a world controlled by Voldemort.

Amidst the fight, Draco has managed to pull you away, dispirited your protests, and led you to safety. You stayed in hiding with him and his family for a while and a lot came to light. Despite what everyone thought, the Malfoys weren’t evil. Lucius was kind but refused to show it. He had been corrupted by a life of fear and servitude to Voldemort. Narcissa had never wanted any of this but she loved her husband and would follow him to the ends of the earth even if it meant being on the wrong side, not to mention the family she grew up in. But as much as they wanted to get away and run from this new world. They wouldn’t. They couldn’t. Lucius would continue to follow  Voldemort and work in his new ministry of magic to help slowly destroy the muggle world. Draco refuses to be a part of that. While the fear and pressure his parents may have bestowed on him was heavy, he was learning to be his own person. But, not being able to break away completely, he accepted a small job within the ministry but was determined to keep his personal life with you untainted but the dark world Voldemort had cast upon them.

Draco and you got married a year after the war. It was at the Manor and wasn’t big as most of your friends and even your family were either killed or in hiding.

Draco had bought you a small house out in the country, just far enough from the city to make it feel like it was its own world where nothing bad could happen. It wasn’t easy but you made do. Draco worked at the ministry but promised never to bring any of his work life home with him. You stayed at home mostly, and you and Draco had a hand in some rebel movements, helping to bring resources to those in hiding and help hide those who needed to be hidden. It was extremely risky for Draco, given that he was a member of the ministry, but he wanted to do some good for once, even if it meant risking everything. These were dark days, but you and Draco survived and were happy together.

Days like these, when Draco didn’t have to work, were your favorite.

You both were lying in the bed as the sun softly trickled in through the windows.

You smiled softly at his sleeping figure lying beside you moving some of his platinum blonde hair from his eyes. It was longer than usual but he refused to grow it as long as his father’s.

He stirred slightly and slowing opened his eyes adjusting to the light before looking at you, pulling you closer to his bare chest.

“Darling what are you doing up? It’s too early. On my days off we like to sleep in remember?” Draco stared groggily as he shit his tired eyes again slowing running his fingers up and down your bare arm.

“Believe me I’d love some sleep. But your child has other ideas.” You retorted scoffing softly with a smile and you ran a hand over your 7-month baby bump.

When you a Draco found out you were pregnant it was quite a shock. You were both terrified and excited. Draco, of course, thought he was going to be a terrible father seeing as he didn’t have much of a good father figure growing up.  You were quick to assure him he would be a far better father than his father ever was and their child will be the luckiest on the earth. Once those fears were resolved, you were both left with the very real fear of bringing a child into the world at its current state. This was never how you had imagined raising a child, in a world of so much fear and darkness, but you were determined to make sure this child was loved and taught how to see the light. This child was your light, it was your beacon of hope in these cruel times.

Draco smiles and brought his hand to rest on yours on your bump. It was his favorite thing he loved to feel his child and to be as close to you both as possible. You rest your head just under his chin and he kisses your head softly.

You lay like the for a while longer before Draco finally pushed himself up despite your groans of protest and got out of bed slipping on just a pair of sweatpants. He kissed your lips softly before disappearing into the kitchen to make breakfast. That was another thing that had wildly changed in his life. With everything becoming so hectic, you and Draco wanted some simplicity in your life, and despite Draco’s complaints, you convinced him that you didn’t need a house elf. You wanted your home life to be simple and just the two of you and after a while Draco adapted, he even learned how to cook..with the help of magic of course…

You soon join him in the kitchen, your red silk robe draped over your shoulders with one of Draco’s casual t-shirts and a pair of sports shorts underneath. You duck under the fresh plate of pancakes levitating onto the dining table and wrap your arms around Draco’s bare torso kissing his shoulder as he finishes making some coffee.

You watch as he waves his wand to open the fridge and make the pancake toppings fly to the table, all of your favorites, especially the pregnancy favorites. Chocolate, strawberries, blueberries, peanut butter, and syrup, even the pickles you craved so bad. He turned in your arms and smiled sipping his coffee. You shift and reach out to make yourself a cup but Draco is quick to stop you, swatting your hand away which earns him a nasty glare from you.

“Coffee is bad for the baby. I read about it in those books mum sent. I’ll make you some tea though darling” He says kissing your parted lips as you stare at him in disbelief.

“If you want what’s best for me, the baby, AND YOU, you’d move out of my way. Or else you will be dealing with a very cranky pregnant woman in about three hours.” You threaten. Draco couldn’t help but stifle a laugh as he shrugs. You were trying so hard to be threatening and serious, but you just looked so funny and cute. You hit his arm and groan turning to go sit at the table. Draco shakes his head smiling as he makes you the tea and brings it over setting it infant of you before sitting down as well.

You both ate and chatted here and there. It was perfect and peaceful, almost making you forget of the horrors of what lies beyond your little home in the woods. However, in this world, happiness never lasts for very long, destruction and hurting are always right around the corner waiting to strike.

Draco started to clean up and put away the dishes as you went to put on something a little more appropriate for the cold weather as you and Draco hoped to take a walk down to the lake for some fresh air. You had just finished putting on your clothes when you heard Draco groan and curse loudly in the kitchen. You walked out and furrowed your eyebrows as you saw him standing there clutching his forearm.

“Draco, darling, what's wrong?” You asked worried, walking over to him. He winced and closed his eyes singing softly.

“I don’t know…I think...I think it’s the mark..” He said looking down at the dark mark on his forearm.

You looked at him shocked and scared. He hasn’t felt anything from that mark in years, they told him he was out, that they didn’t need him anymore. They made a deal. He wasn’t a Death Eater despite what some may think.

Draco looked at you, his mind going a million miles a second. “Love, listen to me. Go in the bedroom, hide, and don’t come out no matter what. I need you to be safe…I need you both to be safe.” He said panting softly as he placed his forehead against yours and his hand on the back of your neck.

“No. I won’t leave you. Either I’m staying here or you’re coming with me.” You protested making Draco groan. He always hated how stubborn you were.

“Love I can’t. They’ll find me. No matter where I go they’ll find me.” Draco whispered, his voice cracking softly. He was a slave to this, no deal in the world would ever keep him from this reality.

Before either of you could speak again a dark shadow was cast over the house, the once blue sky outside filling with dark thunder clouds. There was a high pitched ringing that made the furniture shake slightly right before the windows shattered. Draco moved around to shield you from the glass The black clouds of smoke rushed into your home one by one taking the shape of a man until finally 3 Death Eaters were standing in front of you. Draco stood infant of you hoping that whatever they were here for they’d leave you alone.

“What do you want?” Draco spoke venom in his voice as he stood his ground pointing his wand at the men. He might have been one of them but he will always despise them, especially when they come in like this and threaten his family.

All the men were cloaked with masks and you couldn’t make out who anyone was but the man in the middle stepped forward chuckling deeply.

“Well now Draco, is that any way to talk to your guests? We just want to have a little chat.” He spoke. He sounded so sinister and you both knew there was more to this than just a ‘little chat.’ He slowly paced the small lounge area right outside of and open to the kitchen, running his fingers over furniture as he walked.

“You see Draco. We’ve stumbled on some rather interesting information and the Dark Lord was very insistent that we bring it to your attention immediately….You see, it is our understanding that there’s been a recent uprising of rebel movements. Some of Dumbledore’s army that has survived the war and others that have turned against the Dark Lord are receiving help and relief to hide or stay hidden.” HE explained, drawing out each word and sentence as if he had been put in slow motion. Goosebumps rose on your skin and Draco’s grip on your hand tighten slightly as he spoke, your stomach twisted and you knew nothing good was going to come from this.

The Death Eater stopped in front of the fireplace and stared at the portrait of you and Draco on your wedding day for a bit before continuing.

“You see we were recently able to bring in one of these rebels and at first it was quite difficult to get her to talk. It always is, you know how it is, they never want to be the one to tattle on their friends…but…when you give them no choice..say the life of there child is on the line…people tend to tell you whatever you want to know..and then some.” He chuckled and returned back to his original spot standing across the kitchen from you, playing with the wand in his hands. A lump welled in your throat and your eyes brimmed with tears as he opened his mouth to speak again.

“Most of the information she had to share came as no surprise to the Dark Lord…however right before we got to see the life drain from her eyes, she told us something rather interesting….It seems that these people have been receiving not only help...but help from inside the ministry…a traitor…now you can imagine the Dark Lord’s shock when he heard this. I mean we simply can not have that in his close chambers. The ministry, the people he trusted to be at his right hand. It simply cannot be.” He took a step forward slowly making sure to stare you both right in the eye. Draco shifted back until you hit the counter, not being able to move back any further.

“You know Draco…your father is a good man, always been so loyal to the Dark Lord. And in turn, we gained quite a respect for you. I mean let us not forget who the Dark Lord trusted to be the one to kill Dumbledore….even if you did marry a mudblood…He’s always had such great respect for you, thought of you..well.. like a son…So just imagine…his absolute shock to find out that the traitor within his walls….was you…” The Death Eater was now only just 2 or 3 feet infant of you. The look on his face was dark and sinister, he grinned devilishly and lifted his wand.

“Such a shame your child will have to grow up fatherless….AVAD-“

But before anything could be done you quickly grabbed Draco and apparated out of the house and the next moment found yourself in the middle of the woods but far far away from your home. Draco gasped when you appeared and you sighed softly. You’re lucky he wasn’t hurt as he hadn’t been prepared to apparate.

“I'm sorry love, but we needed to get out of there..and we need to keep moving.”You said hugging him tightly as you briefly let a few tears fall as you both knelt there in the middle of the woods. Draco her you tightly trying to come to grips with the reality that he wasn’t dead.

“It’s no use…They’ll find me…as longs I have this mark, they’ll find me…you’re not safe with me.” He said sternly looking you in the eyes and carefully wiping away your tears with his thumb.

You melted into his touch and kissed the palm of his hand softly. “I already told you Draco…I’m not going anywhere without you...We’re in this together.”

He sighed and kissed your forehead once more before standing and helping you up as well. You set off through the woods towards a secret rebel location hoping to find allies and friends to protect you and help you figure out how to get rid of the mark so Draco could finally be freed of the slavery that it forced him into.

There was no clear path ahead and you were both terrified but as long as you had your little family, you knew you could overcome anything, even Voldemort himself. 

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