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kiramarien · 4 months

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If I got a nickel every time a cartoon I love

based on a book

based on mythology

about a teenage boy

who stumbles upon an ancient artifact that gives him powers

that's being sought by this cocky guy with daddy issues

who's right arm is mechanical some of the time

and his Dad is this massive guy with big horns (and sometimes glowy blue eye(s))

who's being manipulated by a powerful woman

that he freed from her centuries old prison

who may have had noble ambitions in the past, but now has been consumed by power

and the woman possesses a young girl in order to get what she wants

and sacrifices the lives of her minions in order to unleash her ultimate weapon ->

(Dozens of Gum Gums) (Spider Queen, Huntsman, Syntax, Goliath, Not- Mayor) You know what I'm talking about :(

and she's got this indentured servant *cough Slave cough* (with pretty gold eyes 😘)

who she refers to as "Her Champion"

who travels using shadows (I could not find a single picture of Angor Rot using his shadow staff)

who was really sweet and kind in his past but then... well... stuff happened

and has lost his right eye

and he's been killed before

but the big bad restores him back to life so she can use him

and he gets a redemption arc at the end of season three

and the main character doesn't have a bio Dad, but he attracts plenty of father figures throughout the course of the show

and he gains a non-human form that makes him even more powerful

and him and the others gain an armor upgrade at the same time

and the girl of the team has short black hair with dyed stripes

and you know the guy with daddy issues who wanted to steal his artifact in the beginning? He becomes one of the protagonist's closest friends

and there's this gentle giant character

who becomes one of my most beloved characters of all time 💕💕💕

and he has a history of violence and trauma

and has now vowed to be a devote pacifist

but breaks his vow in order to protect the people he loves (with angry glowy eyes to boot)

and has a deep love for cats (yes, I did just do that)

...then I would have two nickels.

Which isn't very much, but it's weird that it happened twice, right?

(That last drawing was made by @jezfez81. Thank you for letting me use it!)

What the heck happened?!?! This was just supposed to be a comparison between Sandy and AAARRRGGHH!!! Where did all these comparisons come from?!?!?!?!?! WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED?!?!?!?!?!?

(this took way too long to make, please give it some love :3 )

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holyprincenerd · 1 year

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yes yes rigged this cha cha that but please let’s not ignore this right now:

https://www.aftonbladet.se/podcasts/ab/episode/355975 Swedish “eurovision expert” Tobbe Ek (for those of you who aren’t Swedish, this is the same guy who accused Måneskin of doing coke on live tv back in 2021) and his posse of minions decided that it was time to spread some absolutely hateful rhetoric against the people of Finland by calling them shitty, idiotic, telling them they should be ashamed of not voting for Sweden (??? literally what???) etc etc, while also dragging in other contestants like Lord of the Lost and insulting them as a means of questioning why the Finnish public voted for them but not for Sweden. (You know. Because it totally doesn’t make any sense at all that a country known for having the most metal bands per capita in the world would vote for Lord of the Lost. Not at all.)

As the cherry on top of this xenophobic shit cake, they started to go on about how “There’s no way there were ten contestants who were better than Sweden this year.” (Again. Not only disrespecting the other contestants, but them pretending not to grasp the concept of a country known for preferring heavier music choosing to vote mostly for bands this year... Yeah... Couldn’t be their preferences...)

Again, this man is considered a Eurovision expert here in Sweden, yet this is the type of behaviour he and his coworkers display over a nonissue like the Finnish public not voting for Sweden this year. If there’s something shameful here, it’s this.

To reiterate: These are three grown-ass well past 40-year old people having a genuine meltdown over one (1) singular country not voting for them.

Why are we giving Tobbe Ek (and his irrelevant coworkers) a platform, again?

EDIT:

Hoo boy, there’s more. Because of course there is.

ALRIGHT here’s an article from one of our tabloids using quite suspiciously colonialistic sounding rhetoric about Finland being “the kingdom’s previous eastern half”.

https://www.expressen.se/noje/finska-sveket-mot-sverige-gav-noll-poang-efter-uppmaningen-rosta-taktiskt/

The specific quote in Swedish: “Tv-tittarna i tidigare östra rikshalvan gav nämligen Sverige noll(!) poäng under Eurovisionfinalen på lördagen.”

Translation: “TV viewers in [our] kingdom’s previous eastern half gave namely zero(!) points to Sweden during the Eurovision finale on Saturday.”

Yeah, Johan Bratell (the writer of the article) is technically not wrong about Finland having been a part of Sweden. But why bring this up now? This was so clearly meant as a condescending insult.

The article also talks about a throwaway comment that the Finnish commentator Mikko Silvennoinen made about tactical voting (or more specifically, an anonymous comment he read out loud about tactical voting). From my understanding this was a joke reference to the previous elections which took place recently in Finland and forced a portion of the Finnish public to vote tactically as an attempt to block a far-right party from getting into the parliament. It’s embarrassing how much these people are reaching.

And even if they were voting tactically, so what? Sweden won. Why are we so focused on the public vote of one (1) country, Jesus Christ this is embarrassing.

EDIT 2: WHY THIS MATTERS. A LOT.

For those of you who are not in the know about Swedish politics, these statements are reflecting some far-right political views that have their roots all the way back in the times when Sweden ruled over Finland. In recent memory, our far-right political party Sverigedemokraterna claimed that the Swedish minority group Tornedalians are not Swedish, because they may speak local dialects that blend Finnish into Swedish, or speak the minority language Meänkieli. Coincidentally, Meänkieli just so happens to be a minority language that blends Finnish and Swedish, as it is mostly spoken by people who live by the Torneå river, i.e. the Finnish-Swedish border. Here’s an article about this controversy (however you may not be able to read it unless you’re subscribed to said newspaper): https://www.dn.se/asikt/orimligt-att-tornedalingar-inte-skulle-vara-svenskar/?fbclid=IwAR33K_UVRhXlJhyPd3gY7GDXN_lotUdrtM1AeL-nRzWE26Tmq5BFE0lIUzw

Sverigedemokraterna also believe that the Swedish minority group of Sweden Finns should essentially cut their ties to their Finnish roots and that they should not be able to be citizens of both Finland and Sweden. https://aip.nu/sverigedemokraterna-och-de-dubbla-medborgarskapen/

This sort of rhetoric is ridiculously common here, and in situations like the ones that have occurred in light of the ESC, they almost never get called out. Because it’s common. Because it’s okay to call Finnish people names and to use colonial rhetoric against all Finns, both those who live in Finland and those who live in Sweden. Because this is “friendly banter.” Mind you, as someone who technically belongs to both of the aforementioned minority groups I’m completely fine with the actually friendly banter and piss taking that we usually partake in, because it is just that. Friendly. But this is not it. This is actually harmful. I have never seen so many Swedish people attacking Finns on social media as I’ve seen these past few days. The usual colonialistic and fennophobic insults have started to rear their ugly heads: People have started to insult the Finnish language (a fennophobic sentiment that goes way back to the days when Finland was under Swedish rule and the Swedish tried to get rid of the language), they have started to insult the way Finns look (goes back to fennophobic rhetoric of Finns essentially not being “white enough”), etcetera. For more information on how the Swedish government treated the Sweden Finns and Tornedalians (the fact that they tried to abolish both the Meänkieli language and the Finnish language from Sweden and have even done skull measurements as an attempt to prove that these minority groups are not equal to Swedes), here’s another article: https://www.svt.se/nyheter/lokalt/norrbotten/regeringen-tillsatter-sanningskommission

For those of you who speak Finnish and are interested in the topic, the book Kansankodin pimeämpi puoli by Tapio Tamminen goes into both issues, with photographic evidence of skull measurement incidents among other things. Meanwhile, the Finnish media is mostly just reporting on the tomfoolery of these “journalists.” Sure, there are a lot of Finns who are acting out as well and spreading hateful rhetoric against Swedes, but the difference here is that one group is punching up, while the other is punching down.

Whether Tobbe Ek, Jenny Ågren, Markus Larsson and Johan Bratell meant to cause this does not matter. They’ve still done it, in the case of the former group, they’ve even dragged other Europeans (and Australians!) into this mess.

They’ve gone ahead and spread fennophobic rhetoric on huge platforms: Sweden’s biggest national tabloids. They should be held accountable for this.

To reiterate: ALL THIS OVER THE FINNISH PUBLIC “NOT VOTING FOR SWEDEN” DURING THE EUROVISION SONG CONTEST OF 2023.

Edit 3: Just in case we need a bit of clarification:

I know this whole post may come across quite negatively. So let me make this clear: There is an issue with the Swedish culture and its normalisation of fennophobia, however, that doesn’t mean every Swede is maliciously fennophobic. It’s literally just so normalised here, that sometimes people don’t even notice when they’re partaking in it, and because of said normalisation, for many these fennophobic and colonialist insults have become a sort of knee jerk reaction to when there’s “actual beef” with Finland. (Which, obviously, is a fucking problem, because look who has to bear the brunt of that.)

Moreover, many Swedes aren’t even familiar with their shared history with Finland, and the discrimination Finland was put through during the Swedish rule (not to mention the discrimination the Sweden Finns and Tornedalians have had to face and still face). That part of our shared history simply isn’t taught in schools here, so a regular person would have to know to go out and look for the information. Heck, the only reason I’m aware of this is because at the end of the day, despite having been born and raised in Sweden, I am ethnically Finnish, and grew up by the border with very strong ties to the Finnish culture because of it. But less about me, and more about this issue. Most Swedes (and Swedish journalists who have any sort of sense in them and who work for respectable publications) have expressed their dissatisfaction with this years results as well. There’s a reason Cha Cha Cha is charting so well on Swedish Spotify. There’s a reason for why the Swedish jury and the public gave Finland 12 points.

So, Tl;dr:

1. Swedish tabloids are trash.

2. We have an undeniable problem with how normalised fennophobia is here, and it’s absolutely bizarre that this is how it’s getting exposed.

3. Most regular Swedes aren’t happy with this either, and are in fact not Finland’s and the Finnish people’s greatest haters in the world.

4. Tobbe Ek should get fired. At the bare minimun, he and his coworkers should probably issue some sort of apology for spreading this, seeing how it is actually hurting a lot of people.

Anyway, please don’t hate on the Swedes because of this lol, think about what Jere from Vantaa would think about that. 💚

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avocado-writing · 8 months

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Poly aziracrow based on 2x04, where Crowley and R react to Aziraphale during this scene👀

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZM2KFemoQ/

notes: yes. this isn’t the first time I’ve had a request about his voice in this scene. and I will NEVER get tired of them ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

pairing: aziraphale x reader x crowley

rating: M (smut at the end)

tags: the light, the dark, and the space in between-verse; references to ptsd; slightly Dom!Aziraphale

You hate this bloody war.

You’ve been part of a few, and all of them have left their scars on you. In you, buried in your soul. You remember your time in those trenches barely thirty years ago and bile claws at your throat.

No. Don’t think about that. Concentrate on this. Concentrate on this horrid little demon who’s threatening the two people you love. Hands behind you, you finger a decorative paperweight, wondering if minions from hell are susceptible to being thwacked over the back of the head.

He finishes his little tirade and tries to read Aziraphale’s name from a book (you’re amazed that the cretin is literate). But his demonic lips can’t make heads nor tails of the syllables.

“Azil-pha-pha-la-luh—”

Aziraphale’s brow furrows just slightly, lips purse.

“Aziraphale.”

It’s not often you see your angel reach the end of his tether. He is a holy being after all; the pinnacle of patience, epitome of virtue. But sometimes, when something grinds his gears just right, that voice will come out.

It does something to you and Crowley both, and the two of you exchange a glance across the room. This will be explored later.

The demon, irritated, snaps his little book shut, then does a double take as his gaze passes over you. He didn’t even notice you were here. You try to look the picture of innocence as you ready the paperweight, thinking about the best way to swing a bludgeoning weapon when he has that ridiculous hair.

“And you? What’s going on with you, why are you here?” He steps forward and takes a deep sniff. “You don’t smell divine.”

“Oh god, don’t bloody smell me!” you hiss, planting your hand on his chest and shoving him backwards. Aziraphale and Crowley move towards you to intervene if needed, but you wave them off.

“Don’t bother with him, nightingale,” Crowley sighs, voice unbothered and bored, “he’s not worth your effort.”

You turn to the mirror in the dressing room instead and focus on smoothing out your clothes, ignoring the foul little gremlin until Crowley and Aziraphale sort him out. Which they do, inevitably, because they’re very clever and wonderful. The three of you head back to the bookshop for a very necessary glass of wine, and within the hour you’re all piled on the sofa, slightly blotted and very glad for each other’s company after a rough day.

You and Crowley are either side of Aziraphale, each with a leg hooked over one of his plush thighs. You’re doing that thing they love where you compliment them about how smart they both are, and they get all smug and silly (and you love it); but halfway through you catch Crowley’s eye behind those dark little glasses and something shifts subtly.

“You know, angel, you really gave that lapdog a dressing down earlier.”

“Oh, well, I’m not sure I’d go that far,” Aziraphale says, but he’s all puffed up like he gets when he’s flattered. Crowley runs a finger up the seam of his trouser leg, gently, slowly.

“And you know what really sealed the deal? That voice you used on him,” you continue. “There was something quite dominant about it. Sexy.”

You snake your hand up his chest. Finally he cottons on.

“Oh.”

“I think we both just wondered what it might take to get you to use it again.”

Aziraphale takes a final sip of his wine before carefully placing the glass on the table. He sits back, looking between the two of you, and there’s no missing the glint in his eye.

“If you wanted me to tell you what to do,” he says lowly,

and you shiver, “you need only ask. I’m sure I’ll do it if you both behave.”

Crowley shifts. You can see the effect Aziraphale’s had on him: the tightening of his trousers, the bob of his adam’s apple as he swallows.

“So. Will you behave?”

“Yes,” you and Crowley both whisper at once, voices thin and needy.

Aziraphale smiles.

“Then I think you’re both wearing far too many clothes.”

Your clothes end up a muddled pile on the floor, and between the two of you, Aziraphale doesn’t leave the couch for the rest of the evening. He has you ride his thigh while Crowley swallows him down his pretty little throat, whispering his praises to both of you in that delicious voice.

“Look at you both. Being so good for me. I love you both so much, my darlings.”

You bury your face in his shoulder, face burning with desire. He has Crowley fuck you over the arm of the couch as he watches the show, palming himself through his trousers, telling you where to touch each other. You’re happy to be his puppet, his plaything, anything.

So long as he keeps talking. -

taglist: @angiestopit @dazed-soul @foolishprincipalitee @smile-eywa@staygoldsquatchling02 @underratedboogeyman @specter-soltare @candlewitch-cryptic @cool-ontherun-world @emilynissangtr @willbedecided @bdffkierenwalker @cool-iguana @ilyatan @civil-groupie @willyoubethepookietomypookster

#crowley x reader x aziraphale #ineffable husbands x reader #good omens x reader #david tennant x reader #michael sheen x reader #Request #Fic: the light the dark and the spaces inbetween

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screeching-bunny · 11 months

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ugghhh we need more of the yan cheerleader 😣

Yandere! Cheerleader pt.2

Warnings: Obsessive Behavior, Yandere Thoughts, Bad Writing, Stalking, Possessive Behavior, Reader is Referred as ‘You’

Pt.1

Yandere! Cheerleader was a mess right now. There are three weeks left till prom and you haven’t asked her out yet. Sure, she had a lot of people ask her out already. Also, yes she’s rejected them all but in comparison to you, they meant nothing. Now logically speaking it would just be smarter and easier if she asked to go with you herself but her pride wouldn’t allow that to happen.

I mean come on, her? The queen bee of the school asking some rando to prom? Get real! She needs to be treated as special and besides if you won’t ask her out she’ll make sure no else would go with you. Everyday before school, she made sure to do herself up and make sure she looked perfect for you. So that you could be transfixed with her and finally ask her out to be your date. When in class, most of her attention was on you, waiting for the moment that you’ll finally approach her and she’ll graciously agree.

You just have to, there is no way you wouldn’t. Everyone in school is just dying to have a chance at being with her. This is considered an honor. In a heartbeat would she accept any invitation or request that you send her way. So you should do the same, obviously. She couldn’t wait for everyone to send envious stares as a dream couple is formed right in front of their eyes.

Currently, Yandere! Cheerleader was spacing out during class and waiting for the bell to finally ring. Today was the day that the two of you agreed to hang out at the movies together. It was as friends of course but Yandere! Cheerleader deluded herself into thinking that it was like a date and that you were too shy to admit it. Hearing the sound of the final bell, she quickly packs up her stuff and gets ready to leave. She just couldn’t wait to go on this “date” with you. Maybe this is the day that you’ll ask her to go to prom with you?! It would just be so perfect and romantic. Something that she could brag about to all her “friends”.

As she made her way towards the door, one of her minions called out to her, “We should totally hang out together today, it’d be fun!” Rolling her eyes, she made her way outside of the classroom. She was not ready to deal with them. Don’t they know about the important matters that she has today? Soon, she finally made it to your designated meeting spot which was right outside of school. She waited for a couple minutes, then some more, and then some more. Where on Earth were you?! You couldn’t have ditched her right?! The most popular and prettiest girl in school? There was just no way. She spam texted you but there was no reply.

Getting tired of this she decided to just find you herself. Scouring the school she eventually finds you near the garden club and the sight she saw made her heart freeze. Right in front of her stood the scene of a boy asking you out to prom. She could not believe it. She was seething red and clenched her fist so hard in her skin that her nails left marks. In her head she preyed and chanted that you would reject him. Watching from the corner she could hear her heart pounding as you started to give your answer. Thankfully her prayer was answered when you politely declined his invitation and she breathed a sigh of relief. However, she’ll definitely have to deal with the dude later for trying to steal what’s hers!

As you made your way to leave she decided to act natural and approach you. “There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you! Are we going to the movies or not?!” You apologized for being late and making her wait for you. You guys then started to go to her car and hop in. It took a couple of minutes to arrive at the movie theater and Yandere! Cheerleader’s thoughts were preoccupied. What would she have done if you actually accepted that guy's feelings? She’s never thought about this before but what if she loses you to someone else? No matter what, she has to push back her pride and ask you herself before it’s too late.

When the both of you arrive at the theater, Yandere! Cheerleader order basically orders everything on the snack list. By the time that she’s done the poor workers are giving her dirty looks and look like they want to die. She forces all the workers to carry them to your seated area and soon the movie starts. The entire time her eyes weren’t on the movie but on yours. She wanted to see and witness every reaction that you had. If anything, that was more entertaining than any dumb old movie. In her head the only thing that she could think of was the word “cute”.

After the movie, Yandere! Cheerleader decided to bring you somewhere. Her secret spot on top of a mountain that she liked to hang out on. If you didn’t know any better than you would have thought that she was taking you to a secluded area to murder you. It was a beautiful little area and the both of you decided to spend your time star gazing. Moments like this are times that she longs for. No one bothering the two of you and just basking in each other's presence. The very sight of your illuminated face due to the moonlight makes her all giddy on the inside. Nothing could take away from this moment, everything was perfect. Deciding that this was the time, she gets up and opens her mouth saying,

“I’ve liked you for a while now. You created emotions in me that I never knew existed. Won’t you please be mine and go to the prom with me?”

#yandere #yandere headcanons #yandere imagines #yandere x y/n #yandere x you #yandere scenarios #yandere x darling #yandere x reader #female yandere #yandere oc #yandere cheerleader #gn reader

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sunrise-imagines · 7 months

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would you consider writing an evil marceline/reader hcs/small story? ^^

YES YES YES ABSOLUTELY. FINALLY I GET TO WRITE ABOUT HER. MY QUEEN. MY GOTH LOLITA GF. PLEASE STEP ON ME MU GOD-

Anyway, hope you enjoy!

TW: Toxic traits exhibited by Marcy, general mean girl vibes, teeny tiny nsfw reference (like it’s really only one line). This turned out way more toxic than I intended so sorry abt that

Vampireworld/The Star!Marceline the Vampire Queen x Reader Relationship Headcanons

• Meeeeaaan. Like teasing and bullying you is second nature to her, she’s such a spoiled brat. Will (very begrudgingly) stop if it really hurts you though.

• Wants your eyes on her and her only. She’s very possessive of you and gets jealous easily. If she sees anyone even looking at you funny, they’re getting their soul sucked immediately.

• Matching outfits? Matching outfits. If you don’t like her aesthetic, too bad. You’re wearing what she tells you to and that’s final.

• Constantly asking when can she finally turn you into a vampire, why would you want to stay human when you can join her and be together forever? (Plus getting to bite your neck and suck your blood would be totally hot)

• Loves to roughhouse, she’s really strong and if you can manage to best her she’ll be really impressed (she’d never admit it though, just scoff and say “You got lucky that time.”)

• Will take any chance she can to taste your blood, anytime you get a cut or scratch she is on you like a bee to honey, licking up whatever tiny drops she can. (If you are a person with a uterus, I don’t even have to explain what I’m thinking, y’all can guess 👀)

• Total princess, hates doing anything like chores, cooking or cleaning. That’s what minions are for, duh!

• Loves to make people uncomfortable with overt and over-the-top PDA, especially her Dad. She will full on make out with you in front of him just to spite him, she’s that petty.

• She’s so smooth it’s infuriating. All she has to do is whisper some sweet words in your ear and you become completely flustered, to her great amusement.

• Let her bite you pleeeaaase, she promises she won’t actually puncture the skin or turn you, even though she get dangerously close to your jugular and her fangs are digging in so hard they almost break the skin, but she never goes all the way (not yet at least).

• What she says is law, and there is no ands, ifs or buts about it. She says she doesn’t want you to hang out with that person? You don’t hang out with them anymore. She says she wants you to address her as “My Queen”? That’s how you address her from now on.

• You know she’s toxic, but she’s just too irresistible to say no to. She genuinely believes she knows what’s best for you, and as long as you obey her every command, she will always give you everything you could ever want. After all, what more could you want than her love?

#adventure time x reader #adventure time imagines #fionna and cake x reader #adventure time #fionna and cake fanfic #fionna and cake imagine #adventure time fanfic #marceline x reader #marceline abadeer x reader #marcy x reader #vampireworld marceline x reader #the star x reader #evil marceline x reader #sfw #sfw headcanons #mostly #marceline the vampire queen x reader #marceline the star x reader

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jmdbjk · 6 months

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Praise and worship

I finally figured out the meaning of the Standing Next to You MV!!

But first, did Kookie wax his pits or does he always have that landing strip of hair there?

Anyway, sorry for the immediate digression but you know it is imperative to dissect everything, even pit hair.

Back to the MV...

The opening scenes include this very non-inclusive sign:

Only limos, no sportscars, SUVs, pick up trucks, family sedans or mopeds welcome here. They are keeping the riff-raff out. ONLY LIMOS THEY SAID CAN'T YOU READ THE SIGN?

Obviously makes sense when we see this dystopian scene where less than a dozen people are walking around inside some sort of derelict compound. A FORTRESS FOR ONLY THE STRETCH LIMO PREFERRING POPULATION!

Incidentally, stretch limos represent 1 percent of the options available from limo companies in the U.S. (I googled it).

Amazing that they found this many in Budapest.

What was once a sign of affluence has now fallen on hard times... hence the decrepit dystopia pictured above.

Enter our female antagonist. Who does she represent? I'll get to that later...

Our antagonist is antagonizing beautifully throughout but starts off antagonistically in her leather coatdress and 1980's heavy black eyeliner and bobbed hair. After all, the song is a throwback to that era of the late 70's/early 80's. All she is missing is the peach blush in the hollows of her cheeks. Hand me a Maybelline Blooming Colors Blush Palette and I'll fix it.

Then the dark angel makes his appearance. Ah, yes, sweet angel, come closer.

I think he has come down or up from where ever dark angels habitate in order to correct an injustice... the injustice being the duck-billed cups of this atrociously antagonistic dress our antagonist is made to wear:

For real... they couldn't find a better fitting dress? At least grab a roll of toilet paper and stuff those titty cups to fill them out? They are so sad and droopy looking... props to her Maybelline Expert Eyes Turquoise eye shadow though.

I suppose the stacked pancakes... I mean bra cups... could have meant to be an homage to another 80's icon: Madonna and her cone shaped bra... but ... nah... try again. They look like hamburgers. Now I can't unsee it. So, so sad.

We do a lil spin and our protagonist spins himself up into a jewel encrusted, crotch grabbing, finger pointing master of his game.

I think he's here to conduct a worship service.

It's time to be churched:

Stretch limos (because no riff-raff remember?) enter the opening in a temple-of-Petra-like giant wall emblazoned with JK's sacred heart logo. Very symbolic.

In they go to gather for worship. Others sit in theatre seats while Ms. Antagonist sits on the car like a hood ornament.

So... who is she and what's going on here?

No clue. She sits haughtily and antagonistically on her outdated stretch limo, while her little minions sit in the rows watching the object of their desire preaching the holy choreography.

However, Mr. Protagonist is about to really lay down the religion.

But first, gratuitous shot of Kookie prancing in heeled chelsea boots.

Back to religion... the religion of Bangtan dance... one of these is not like the other.

(*covers Hobi-hyung's eyes* Don't look its too painful.)

Did they not monitor this mess?

I don't meant to be disrespectful and I know these guys are some of the best dancers in the industry but next to Jungkook, they look like a herd of elephants. Just sayin'.

Anyway, Protagonist proceeds to become angry at the sloppy choreo and all the limo drivers gather for a gang-brawl in the middle of the church. Probably arguing over the spelling of chauffeur. I couldn't find an urban slang reference for limo, limousine or limo driver. I'm sure some exist but being the innocent thing I am, I don't know what they are.

Mr. Protagonist brings down the wrath and puts the fear of Hobi into his crew:

Then the climax of the whole darn thing: a dance break. Holy communion commences with serious thrusting into crotch grabs (some are enjoying it more than others):

Service concludes and I wonder how many takes before they got one where Kookie didn't bust out laughing with his bunny giggle?

But seriously, the MV does seem to be an homage to an era where Michael Jackson thrilled us with his brilliant music and dancing. Jungkook is continuing to pull us and BTS as a group along, forging new paths for them in the music industry. Like Kookie, I am anxious for them to reunite and get back on that stage together. And like Yoongi, I too believe they will devour the world.

(It's humor, y'all.)

#worship at the altar of jungkook #its humor #sarcasm #parody #its not serious #i apologize if i offended anyone #however Bangtan Church of Choreography is very serious #standing next to you #jungkook golden #looking forward to a choreo performance mv please

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densewentz · 9 months

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I have a lot of feelings about season 2 obviously, mostly that it was brutally fantastic, but it really serves to highlight the main difference between Crowley and Aziraphale's understanding of loss. long angsty analysis under cut

Because Crowley already knows what it is to lose Aziraphale. I mean really lose him. He fell to the floor in the burning heart of the bookshop thinking Aziraphale was dead and gone. We get to see in fantastic living color how broken it leaves him. He's forced to spend time wallowing in the hopelessness of it before Aziraphale is miraculously back. Then cut to heaven during their ruse, where Crowley is standing there in the flames with Gabriel grinning maliciously in his face, telling the love Crowley just got back to shut up and die. If that scrap of prophecy hadnt found them, if they hadn't been quick enough, clever enough, Crowley would have lost him again. For Good. For Ever. That entire scene, from the cropped cut of Crowley twisting Aziraphale's wrists in their bonds all the way through to the end, Crowley is in a visibly barely contained rage. He's quiet, and still. These are the beings that have been tormenting his love for centuries, who tried to take him away once already and want to take him away from Crowley again. And it boils in him in the same combination that makes terrified dogs Bite. And we see the lasting effect that fear has on him throughout season 2. It drives almost every interaction Crowley has with other characters, particularly in his vehemence that Jim!Gabriel not be anywhere near Aziraphale. Crowley is able to word for word quote that moment back to Jim!Gabriel mostly unprompted because I guarantee its just been repeating in his head since the archangel showed up in the bookshop. He needs Aziraphale safe in that desperate and agonized way you can only feel if you already know what its like to lose them. And the entire season he's combating the fact that the biggest threat to Crowley's love is sitting in his livingroom and Aziraphale keeps handwaving Crowley's trauma away.

Which brings us to Aziraphale. Aziraphale who has never had to experience losing Crowley. His demon is always there just on time, always at his shoulder and on-call. Aziraphale has no concept of the depth of Crowley's grief during the time Crowley thought he'd died in the bookshop, and no idea the damage Crowley's incognito trip to heaven had on him. And then parallel Aziraphale's part in the ruse. Yes, he's playing at being cheeky Crowley, but I'd bet all my money most of that was just Aziraphale relishing in doing what he loves to do: Dramatizing. Watch his scene in hell compared to Crowley's in heaven. Aziraphale is having a blast. To him its a stage production, a clever trick he gets to play. Michael pours 'Crowley' a holy water death bath and it just makes Aziraphale grin because he knows it wont work. He plays it up, wings the water at the demons, makes silly demands, asks the angel who would have killed Crowley to bring him a towel. It's a joke to Aziraphale, because he never even seems to consider (as Crowley obviously does) the reality that if they hadn't swapped places Crowley would be dead. That Michael came grinning down to hell to destroy him. Forever destroy him. And Aziraphale even giggles about it to Crowley on the bench. Aziraphale has no reference or context of what it would be like to actually lose Crowley, it'd be unheard of, so he never processes what could have happened in the way Crowley does. And we continue to see that ignorance crop up in season 2. His dismissal of Crowley's fears as being silly, the way he never once seems to worry for Crowley's safety even with the other angels and hell minions in the room. Michael and Beelzebub are right there. The two who would have seen Crowley turned into nothing. But there's just not the awareness of the threat to Crowley (or himself, but thats another problem) that Crowley inversely possesses. And it all boils down to the simple fact that Aziraphale has never ever lost Crowley. Until now. And you can see it beginning to process post-kiss. You can see it in Aziraphale's face as Crowley dons his glasses and turns his back on Aziraphale for real. This is going to be the beginning of Aziraphale learning what it is to lose his love, and its going to be absolutely heartbreaking yes, but also completely necessary to his growth.

There's that wretched little saying "you don't know what you've got until its gone". Crowley's learned that lesson the hard way already. I guess now its Aziraphale's turn.

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens spoilers #good omens meta #anthony j crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #crowley's trauma arc #dense's ramblings

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nalyra-dreaming · 22 days

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hi!! i’ve been hearing a lot about the devils minion recently and i don’t know much about it, but i am extremely excited about armand and daniel.

i know armand does love him, but does daniel love him too?? do you see them ending up together in some sort of way in the show?

also, in the books just how romantic is their relationship? are there some forms of intimacy too? see, i’m not even sure if relationship is the right word to use.

Hey nonny!

Oh yes, relationship is the right word to use. :) They are romantic, and intimate, and very kinky, too. Armand loves Daniel, and Daniel loves Armand (though in the show he has currently forgotten). And yes, I do see them ending up together.

Daniel is Armand's only fledgling in the books. And I firmly believe he will be just that in the show, too.

So, a bit more context? :)

"The Devil's Minion" is a chapter in "Queen of the Damned", which actually is called "THE STORY OF DANIEL THE DEVIL'S MINION, OR THE BOY FROM INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE".

It details Armand first saving Daniel, then putting him in a cage, then telling him to run, and then hunting him across the globe. And ultimately... Armand falls in love with Daniel. And Daniel with Armand.

They are in a relationship for 12 years (iirc). In those 12 years there is cuck chairs (Armand likes watching Daniel have sex), them "adopting a dancer in New York", Armand creates and purchases Night Island for Daniel, lots of blenders, microwaves, international phone calls, art exhibitions, etc etc, and, maybe most importantly, shared blood. Armand regularly drinks from Daniel, and lets Daniel drink from him (and we know the show added literal sex to this). Armand puts a vial with his blood around Daniel's neck for protection.

Daniel wants to become a vampire, badly.

So badly it drives him away again and again, because Armand refuses to give him the Dark Gift.

In the book, it almost destroys Daniel (alcohol, drugs), and Armand eventually turns him in the middle of Akasha's rising. In the show, I have theorized that Akasha did not (yet) rise, which eliminated that... final push. And Daniel did not get turned.

I fully expect the "Devil's Minion" to unfold over the next few seasons. I fully expect them to have had those long years of relationship in the past. I fully expect Daniel to be turned when Akasha rises (if she indeed did not do so in the past).

If I may: go and read that chapter in "Queen of the Damned". It's not very long^^. You don't need to read the whole book, the few references to the rest of the story can just be ignored for now, imho. Queen of the Damned will come a bit later, even if they plant the seeds already.

But... this chapter will come into play next season. And heavily so :))

And yessss - I cannot wait either :))

#Anonymous #asks #ask nalyra #amc iwtv #iwtv #amc interview with the vampire #interview with the vampire amc #iwtv amc #iwtv 2022 #interview with the vampire #the devil's minion #armand #daniel molloy #devil's minion

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risestarkiss · 3 months

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Hi! First, I must say I'm a big fan of your ramblings, they're always so interesting!

And also I found out something today and I needed to share it :

Okay so, I was watching Despicable Me 3 and the minions performed a song (Minions Idol - Papa Mama Loca Pipa) and it sounded... familiar? And yes, it was, because it had the exact same tune as the song in Rottmnt season 1 episode 17 : The Evil League of Mutants. And I thought, "Huh, this is too big to be a coincidence"

So I started looking it up. Despicable me 3 was released in June 2017, while Rottmnt ep.17 was shown in November 2018, but this is obviously a dead end.

After a little searching I found that the original song was actually named "I am the very Model of Modern Major General" by W.S. Gilbert and Arthur Sullivan in The Pirates of Penzance (1879) which is a comic opera.

I find it quite clever and hilarious that they would use a song from a comic opera to introduce Draxum, proving once again that he's a big drama queen.

That's it, I know it's not as interesting as your ramblings but I couldn't keep this for myself and I really wanted to share it. Thank you for reading my little rambling!

Keep up the good work and have a great day, or night !

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you like my silly little rambles. 😌💜 Yes! You are absolutely correct, but I'm even more impressed with your research!!!! Fantastic deduction work! (You've cooked and served a delicious dish. Well done! 🍛) Ok, so this song has been around for a long time and has shown up in many a cartoon/cultural reference. The one that people my age may remember is: "I Am The Very Model Of A Cartoon Individual" from the show, "Animaniacs," which aired in 1993.

youtube

The character that sings this song is Yakko, voiced by Rob Paulsen... The same Rob Paulsen who was Voice Director for Rise of the TMNT.

Thanks for the ask!!! 💜💜💜

#answered asks #rottmnt #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #tmnt2018 #tmnt 2k18 #tmnt 2018 #save rottmnt #unpause rottmnt #unpause rise of the tmnt #save rise of the tmnt #save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles

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kenshimybeloved · 6 months

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Part 7 of my rambles!

As the group reaches the Tarkat village, Johnny has noticeably loosened up from the previous scene after Kenshi put him in his place. He once again brings up one of his movies, this time to suggest how to go about their mission and Kenshi quickly shuts it down.

[side note: his specific phrasing is “we’re not basing strategy on your movies, Cage”- he says absolutely nothing about wether or not he’s seen any of the films Johnny references or an opinion on them (stay with me I swear it’s relevant later)]

The scene eventually leads to them preventing Baraka from killing Shang Tsung (who shapeshifts and runs off to his laboratory) which causes Baraka to fight Kenshi (under the impression that Kenshi is one of Shang Tsungs minions). After defeating Baraka he talks him down and tells him they’re not on Shang Tsungs side- he gains his trust, which allows them to get necessary info on where Shang Tsung went off to. This entire chapter of the game where we play as Kenshi is incredibly important to his character development and him finding where he fits in all of this mess. In the beginning, we see him as reserved and aggressive- traits that Liu Kang finds disappointing (he says so in the mansion scene). Johnny attempts to break down these walls and starts to succeed but then abandons ship for a bit- giving Kenshi the space he needs to do his own growing. While Liu Kang never explicitly says “Kenshi I’m making you leader”, he’s the one who’s handed the picture of Shang Tsung along with the talisman that can locate him (and of course he’s the playable character of this section so he does all the big fights while Johnny and Kung Lao handle other things).

[side note: love love love that Johnny is his kameo fighter during this chapter. Johnny is finally on the sidelines, helping Kenshi only when called to do so. Yes that’s a game mechanic but metaphors babeyyyy!]

This is important because so far Kenshi hasn’t really played a major role in the plot the way most of the others have- but now he has the opportunity to prove himself. And he does! So far the mission is going as good as it possibly can with him taking charge.

#mortal kombat #mk1 #johnny cage #kenshi takahashi #johnshi #johnny x kenshi #kenshi #i love gay ppl <3 #we’re about to get to the really good shit #stay with me y’all #navi rambles about johnshi

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 1 month

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I read your archive about Idia's parent, that one about 10 months ago. Idk if you found it out yet but Mythology Hades' signature possesion(?) (like Zeus' thunderbolt and Poseidon's Trident) is Helm of Darkness with capability of make him invisible :3 Maybe that what inspire Yana-san to make them wear one (tbh I'm a bit dissapointed that I can't see their face :""))) I want to know what do you think about it ^^

[I'm not such which of the Shroud parents posts from ~10 months ago this anon is referring to, so here are the three possible ones: 1 / 2 / 3]

Maybe? It's definitely an interesting idea. I'd think that, more than anything, Idia (the character based on Hades himself) would be the one with the helmet to conceal his face rather than his parents though. Yes, they're related so it's entirely possible that Yana and team pulled from similar inspirations when designing the Shroud parents. However, I really feel like the idea overall fits more strongly with Idia's character. This is especially true when we consider how shy and meek he typically is (ie wanting to be and viewing himself as "invisible"), paired with the fact that he actually wore a pumpkin helmet as part of his first Halloween costume. I don't get the same vibes from either parent, especially not Mama Shroud who is very upbeat and most likely married into the family (therefore lacking the "Hades"/Shroud family blood). As mentioned in some of the linked posts, I get Persephone energy from her. Something else I've seen people mention is that the shape and color of the Shroud parents' helmets remind them of Hades' minions from the Disney film, Pain and Panic. I've even seen some fan designs that make the Shroud parents resemble those two, which I think are really cute 🥺

#twst #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #notes from the writing raven #disney twst #Idia Shroud #Hades #book 7 spoilers #Persephone #Pain #Panic #question

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pix3lplays · 15 days

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Update~

Spoilers for the new TB mission~

Finally finished the new Trailblaze Mission! I would like to make a formal apology to Aventurine! His playboy mask had me fooled. I really enjoyed getting to see his backstory, definitely seeing him in a new light now…lemme just…rewrite some of my drafts…

I quite enjoyed everyone just straight up calling Sunday crazy, that was very deserved. I get that he’s suffering and being paranoid and a control freak is a bad combo but he was REALLY acting wild, wow. You mean to tell me those…birds are…always watching us for him…? K….

What ARE you, Gallagher????? A minion of Enigmata sure but??? When Sunday was describing him it implied that “Gallagher” wasn’t real and just some sort of disguise?? I’m pretty confident the whole “I’m thirteen” thing doubled as Sarcasm and a reference to death or misfortune though, because he gave us a WHOLE backstory that I’m…assuming is at least partly true? And had to have happened a while ago. And Siobhan seemed to have some sort of history with him. It can’t just be a case of stolen identity like Sparkle imitating Sampo…”Gallagher” was created based off The Family…hm. “At his age I was a little terror, biting everyone in sight.” Anyways I guess what I’m trying to say is yes horrific biblically accurate Angel Sunday is good but I’m hoping for horrific monstrous Gallagher to happen too, lol~ I would…really appreciate any Gallagher theories if any of you have them. I know we can’t really say anything with certainty yet of course but I don’t have really any guesses of my own haha.

And don’t worry I’ll survive the Sam identity reveal though it is painful that he is actually just a suit lol.

Im sure I have more thoughts but I’m not thinking them right now lol. Good update, did enjoy, surprised that Gallagher was the biggest thing I apparently focused on??? But I DID really love all the Aventurine stuff, AND his gameplay was cool, AND his boss kept me on my toes. I considered my party pretty good and I got NERVOUS a few times but I’m curious as to how we would have held up if it was pre adjustment haha.

Also yeah share your thoughts about the update, I’m curious~

Ratio in a constant state of RAGE was very entertaining, Veritas please relax for one second of your life.

Also Boothill was more volatile than I was expecting lol, reLAX Space Cowboy- (I love him already)

#honkai star rail #pixel says stuff sometimes #Hsr Gallagher #honkai star rail Gallagher

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notveryimpressed · 5 months

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Sriracha

Villain: Gather 'round, my nefarious associates! Today, we shall unleash a prank of unparalleled villainy upon those insufferable heroes. The very foundation of their breakfasts shall crumble!

Right Hand: My Lord, are you referring to the diabolical plot involving the jam and the... err, spicy sauce?

Villain: Indeed, Right Hand! I have devised a scheme so devilish that even the most stoic hero will shed a tear over their ruined toast. Behold, we shall replace all their innocent jam bottles with jars of fiery sriracha sauce!

Henchman #1: (snickering) Sriracha sauce, boss? Won't they notice the difference right away?

Villain: That's where you're wrong, my unwitting underling! The labels, yes, the labels shall be our masterpiece. Mittens!

Mittens: (with a tiny villainous cape) Oh, joy. I always wanted to be a cat forger.

Villain: Mittens, you shall forge labels so exquisite, so perfect, that the heroes won't suspect a thing! I want the labels to scream "premium, extra-fancy jam" while concealing the fiery truth within.

Right Hand: (suppressing laughter) My Lord, isn't Mittens more skilled in knocking things off tables than label forgery?

Villain: Nonsense! I have seen Mittens weave her devious paws through the most intricate tasks. She once unraveled the hero's secret meeting plans by batting a ball of yarn across their secret files!

Mittens: (proudly) Meow.

Henchman #2: (snickering) But boss, what if they taste the sauce and realize it's not jam?

Villain: Ah, my dear simpleton, that's where our pièce de résistance comes in. Scientist!

Scientist: (entering with a clipboard) You called, my villainous overlord?

Villain: Scientist, you shall concoct a special potion that numbs the taste buds temporarily! Just enough for the heroes to savor the sweet anticipation before the fiery revelation.

Scientist: (scribbling notes) Numbing potion, understood. How long should the effect last?

Villain: Long enough for them to question their very existence, but short enough for them to recover before they suspect foul play.

Right Hand: (trying not to laugh) Brilliant, my Lord. A scheme so devious, even the heroes won't see it coming.

Henchman #1: (chuckles) And they'll be wondering if their taste buds have turned traitor!

Villain: Precisely! Now, to action, my minions! Mittens, forge those labels. Scientist, brew that potion. Henchmen, prepare for a raid on the hero's breakfast nooks!

#hero x villain #villain x hero #writeblr #writing snippet #villain #hero and villain #hero x villain community #hero #supervillain #hero/villain #righthand #villains and heroes #heroes and villains #villain x right hand #mittens #villain x henchman #henchmen #villain x scientist

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sarcastic--metaphor · 7 months

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What does simon think of bonnibel?

I could answer that plainly, but I thought I'd attach an excerpt from my Vampire!Simon AU that deals with exactly this! It's pretty divorced from the overarching narrative so I guess it could be considered a one shot set within my AU or a prequel maybe.

Forgive me for any typos or bad pacing, I started writing at 3 am. This is very much also a rough draft that I'd like to clean up before posting to Ao3, but this is really exciting for me to share :)

(There’s also one small reference to the special vampire power I chose for Simon)

Word count: 2460

+++

The Star heard Temperance coming, she could tell by the click of his heels against the floor. She never understood why he refused to use his power of levitation, but she loved him all the same for his funny habits.

As it was, she was rather bored. Dad was commanding the minions from his throne, commanding them to push their territory outward to search for more food.

“Hey, Temperance,” The Star said, drifting away from her dad to follow after Temperance. He was wearing his long-tailed coat today, as well as his polished leather boots.

He smiled at her and tucked a lock of white hair behind his ear. The Star used to wear her hair long as well, but she’d taken to keeping it short in recent decades. But her Temperance was always a bit old fashioned, keeping the same long hair all these centuries. His neat braid reached the end of his coat tails, brushing against the back of his knees.

She took his braid and swept it over his shoulder. She asked, “Are you going somewhere?”

“Just out for a walk,” he said.

The Star’s eyes brightened. “Do you want me to come with you?”

The hive was fine and all, but she was itching to stretch her legs. Metaphorically speaking, that was. She preferred floating, but it would be nice to spend some time away from Dad and the minions.

“Ah,” Temperance said, holding up his hands, “No, you don’t have to come with me, that’s alright.”

Her face fell. Then she popped her lips.

“Oh, is this one of your thinking walks?”

Temperance nodded. “Yes, exactly! You wouldn’t want to hear an old man talking to himself, trust me.”

The Star laughed and let go of his braid. “I would if it was you.”

Temperance liked his long walks, he claimed he used the time to mulling over questions of philosophy or history. Or to talk himself through the next steps in taking care of his garden.

She’d still like going with him, but knew Temperance had a fondness for his alone time.

“If you’re leaving the hive,” another voice said, “Then you must take a guard.”

They both turned toward the king. He regarded them both with those bright eyes.

Temperance made a short sigh under his breath. “I won’t be gone long.”

“I don’t care,” Dad said. “Take some drones or take The Star. Either way, I don’t want you out there alone.”

For a second, she really did think Temperance would choose her. She couldn’t remember the last time they had a few hours away from everything else. And The Star knew he missed her company, too.

“I’ll take the minions,” Temperance said, voice calm and clipped.

Dad gestured to the three nearest vampires and they approached Temperance, stopping at a respectful difference.

Temperance touched The Star’s arm and smiled. “I’ll see you later. Go help your father with his plans.”

She rolled her eyes and blew her bangs out of her face. “Alright, alright.”

He smiled one last time, then he was gone.

+++

Simon tried to resist the instinct to levitate as much as possible. He had to remind himself that with his eternal life, wandering the land on his own two feet was no longer a taxing, unending endeavor. It wasn’t like those years after the apocalypse began.

Now, he had somewhat of the opposite problem. As royalty, he was expected to sever his ties to human ways.

And that was just something he could never do.

As he left the hive behind him, Simon tried to ignore the three minions drifting behind him. They kept him within sight but were also interested in picking through the desolate streets for anything to eat. Not that there tended to be much life this close to home.

Simon walked for an hour before some unknown force compelled him to stop. He lifted his nose and smelled the air.

There was a faint trace of sharp, rich blood. Human.

His brows furrowed as his stomach sank. What on earth was a human doing this close to the hive? An injured human?

They must have been driven here by some of the vampire drones. On instinct, Simon tried to determine where the source was coming from. He turned around and almost let out a scream when he saw a flash of human eyes before they vanished behind the broken remains of an old wall.

So close.

And if he could smell the poor soul, so would the drones. Simon began hurrying along, keeping his composure. Knowing the others would happily stop to pick apart easy prey, Simon cleared his throat.

“Stay close to me,” he said.

He didn’t look back, but could hear the glide of his vampire guards as they reluctantly gave up looking for food.

Simon walked for about another hour, pulling out the gilded pocket watch from within his coat more and more often the farther he went. He hoped he’d be on time.

Ahead, at a crossroads between two streets, was a faded metal sign and a bench. A bus stop.

Simon sat down and massaged his ankle, feigning some fatigue. After a moment, he leaned against the bench and lifted his gaze to the clouded skies.

“Come here,” he said to the clouds.

But it was the drones that obeyed. The lesser vampires within the hive were bound to the court like slaves or draft animals. It would’ve troubled Simon terribly, if not for the way these vampires so happily abandoned their human ways in exchange for supposedly eternal life.

Two drones hovered in the air above him and another crouched at his feet.

Unperturbed, Simon asked, “Look at the sky and tell me what you see.”

And because he was Temperance, the king’s advisor, the minions obeyed.

“I see…” one of them began, “...I see clouds.”

“Look harder,” Simon said. “Really take a moment.”

And as they looked, Simon checked his pocket watch once more.

Without warning, three gunshots rang out. Three sharp, shrill cries followed.

Then the sounds of three stakes hitting the ground.

Simon put his watch away. He breathed a short sigh of relief. They were both right on time.

He listened for the sound of heavy footsteps. Simon picked up the stake that had killed the vampire at his feet and turned it over in his hands; it wasn’t too badly blunted.

A figure dressed in pink came up from behind him, falling into the space alongside him. Simon held out the stake and she took it.

“Thanks,” Bonnie said. She slid the stake into a slot in the bandolier over her chest. She looked exhausted, skin covered in scratches and dirt.

“You know,” Simon said, “If it’s so hard for you to get this close to the hive on your own, I could always meet you farther out.”

Realistically, he could probably walk for days without suspicion being raised. To his kind, weeks could pass like hours and hours were nothing more than moments.

Say nothing of the discarded minions. The hive had so many drones that Simon could slip back inside and not have anyone notice he returned alone.

Bonnie groaned and said, “Save it, Petrikov. We both know it’s better for you to keep close. I can’t have the King going ballistic at the idea of you missing.”

Or The Star, but she didn’t need to say that part.

He sighed, knowing she was right. But Bonnie was tough, he knew. She got herself here without that tank of hers, knowing it was too big and would draw too much attention. And she did it every year.

“Here,” he said, reaching into his inner coat pocket. He pulled out a thick wad of paper folded many times over. Bonnie’s one eye watched his every minute movement as a hawk would. Or more accurately, a buzzard aching for a carcass.

She snatched the paper from him and unfurled it, revealing the most up-to-date map of the hive that Simon could design with his limited cartography skills. It was terribly difficult to accurately convey a three-dimensional space filled with irregular chambers and steep, winding halls.

The hive was almost a living thing. Its corridors were more akin to a labyrinth that shifted and evolved from year to year. Not just to keep intruders out, but to keep their captured prey inside.

Simon knew that in just a short while, he’d have to start making Bonnie a new map should she ever need it.

For a good, long while, neither of them spoke as Bonnie poured over the newest alterations to the hive.

“That old atrium is gone,” she said softly, “You broke it up into a bunch of smaller rooms… and these vestibules along the westward cliffs, they used to be sealed off.”

“Excellent eye as always,” he said.

“Thanks, Petrikov,” Bonnie said. She folded the map back up and tucked it into her pants pocket.

Simon felt his stomach clench.

Bonnie had tried and failed over countless years to destroy the hive. She tried an old cache of human-made missiles launched from afar, raising an army of human survivors, biological warfare by pumping live animals with disease vectors…

Only once did she ever use one of the maps Simon made, to infiltrate the hive alone on what was essentially a suicide mission. She hadn’t told him, but she paid a heavy enough price.

He stared at her missing eye and the ring of scar tissue that her eyepatch hid.

“Do you think this will be it?” Simon asked softly. “What’s your plan?”

Bonnie froze. She looked away from him and he realized it was because she was ashamed.

“You ran out of ideas,” he said.

“I did not!”

Bonnie rose to her feet, swayed, then stood tall over Simon. He resisted the urge to ask her to sit back down. When she got into these fits, it was best to let her work through them

So he remained silent as she pointed at him and said, “I’ve tried armies, I’ve tried it solo. Right now, I’m lying low and trying to put together a small, elite team.”

Again, there was that question of and then what?

But Simon only removed a handkerchief from his pocket and polished his glasses.

Bonnie sometimes went years without directly attacking the hive, The Star, or the King. He knew from scouting reports made by the drones that she devoted most of her time to diminishing the population of lesser vampires.

She was too prideful, too upset, to admit that she was only really in a position to continue doing that kind of more subtle work.

By the time Bonnie cooled off, after a good deal of pacing and muttering, and was willing to sit back down, Simon just so happened to be done polishing his glasses. He blinked behind the lenses and, perhaps against his better judgment, gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

Bonnie tensed. She had a stake out faster than Simon could see and only stopped herself an inch away from skewering his wrist.

“Sorry,” she said. She put the stake away.

Simon smiled at her, “It’s alright. You wouldn’t have hurt me either way.”

She scoffed, the corner of her mouth peeling back to show her teeth. “I would’ve ripped your fancy coat.”

True. Very true.

“Then I would have told my tailor that I was being my clumsy self and tripped.”

To his surprise, Bonnie chuckled softly. She leaned her head against the bench and shut her eye for a moment.

“What about you?” she asked.

“What about me?”

Without looking at Simon, she said, “How’s your junk been going?”

Simon felt a twinge of embarrassment. Perhaps this was how Bonnie felt. He ran his hands over his braid, one after another, and cleared his throat.

“Well… I’ve been successful in keeping more vampires sequestered to the hive by convincing the King we ought to improve fortifications.”

Bonnie smirked, more teasing than mean. “You trying to make my job harder?”

Simon felt his face flush. “Of course not! But more importantly, I think I’ve been making some more progress with The- with Marceline.”

Bonnie’s eye snapped open. She sat up straight and stared at him.

Simon said, “She’s been eating more of the color red in private with me, I think she’s starting to learn it’s okay to not have blood all the time,” he debated with himself for a moment, then added, “And… well, she almost came with me today.”

At that, Bonnie said nothing. Only clenched her teeth and shot to her feet once more, fists shaking at her sides.

“Bonnie! Please-”

“Did she know you were coming to meet me?”

Her voice was rough and gravelly. It almost made Simon wince. “No, but-”

Bonnie swore in German.

He stood up as well but didn’t try to touch her again. He said, “Please, I’m sorry for what she did to you, but I know there’s still good in her! And I wouldn’t have let her hurt you. O-or let you hurt her. Or–”

“Simon,” Bonnie said, in a way that showed just how tired she was. Her voice was nothing more than a low, sad rasp, “I know you love her…”

Though she was facing away from Simon, he knew she was touching her eye.

Bonnie never would’ve gotten out of the hive the last time if he hadn’t secretly helped her. He practically carried her through the subterranean tunnels when she was dizzy and weak from blood loss.

She said softly, almost gently, “I know you love her… but she’s never held back against me. So I can’t afford to hold back against her. I’m sorry.”

Bonnie began to walk away, their conversion having come to its end. But Simon had to say something more, if not to defend Marceline than to even attempt to make amends.

But he found nothing. No words of great inspiration.

Instead, he simply said, “Stay safe out there, Bonnie. And be careful.”

To his immense surprise, Bonnie paused. Without looking all the way back at him, she said, “Thanks, Petrikov. See you later.”

Later being subject to debate. If they missed their annual illicit meet up next year, it’d take even longer before he’d be able to see her again. To someone Simon’s age, that shouldn’t feel like a long time.

But just as he walked the earth, he tried so very hard to feel the passage of time the way humans did. To count the minutes and feel like they mattered.

As he watched her go, Simon felt two ways.

He could’ve stopped Bonnie.

He could’ve gone with her.

But he only turned around and kept his eyes on the distant hive.

#simon petrikov #fionna and cake #vampire au #the vampire king #marceline the star #bonnibel bubblegum #marceline and bonnibel

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