#you know that feeling when you move overseas to a beautiful country | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pparadiselost · 1 year

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la maison.

noel noa x single mother fem reader noa finds himself falling head over heels for the sweet mom next door. warning(s): nsfw, alcohol, dubious consent (drunk sex), single mother reader, named son oc (irrelevant outside of pornmaking plot), creampie, breeding minors do not interact.

recently, noel noa has developed a bit of a problem.

he had fallen in love with his next-door-neighbor. which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn’t the most unique nor the most world-shattering of issues he could possibly have, but these once trivial feelings he had no time to waste on started taking root in his head, they began to spread like wildfire throughout his daily life.

the pro soccer player was mildly surprised to find out that the young man who had lived next to him in the quaint apartment he called home had moved out while he was playing overseas. noa didn’t think too much of it. he rarely ever grew close with the neighbors around him. he was often out of the house, gone for months to even years at a time playing for whatever country or club summoned him, and when he was home, he preferred spending his time alone rather than getting attached to people who he had nothing in common with.

but the two of you had gotten off on a completely unexpected foot.

“dada!” the squirming toddler in your arms squeals. you nearly drop the bag of groceries you were precariously balancing on your elbow, yelping softly as your son uses all the force he can muster in his tiny body to lurch towards noa. “dada, dada!”

“no, sweetie, that’s not your dad,” you gently remind him, unable to stop the sheepish smile that tugs at your lips. you expertly lean the little boy against your hip while you regain your grip on your groceries, flashing an apologetic smile at noa. “i’m so sorry about that. he has a habit of saying that to every man he sees.”

noa stands practically frozen in his doorframe. he’s seen his fair share of almost blasphemously beautiful women in his life: models, actresses, influencers… but nothing holds a candle to the way his heart thumps in his chest when his eyes land on you. every bit of you screams sweet yet battered to him, your eyes mild and gentle by the tugs of time and your body all covered with loose clothes to make sure your boy could hug right into every little nook and cranny that he pleases.

a perfect image of motherhood.

his dick throbs in his pants.

it’s lecherous. he doesn’t even know your name, and he’s getting turned on. hell, you might even be married, yet he’s lusting after you.

“it’s alright. i know how kids are,” he lies. he actually doesn’t know how kids are, but it’s enough to get you to laugh again. “do you live near here? i don’t think i’ve seen you around.”

“ah! i do.” you lift a hand to point at the door right next to his while your son tugs at your clothes impatiently. he keeps mumbling dada, dada in that gurgling voice of his, looking up at you and then stealing glances at noa. “we moved in fairly recently. i didn’t think we’d have a neighbor, because i thought the next door apartment was empty.”

his heart skips a beat, and noa coughs to clear his throat. “i see. my job requires me to be overseas a lot, so i’m out of the house often. i suppose, that makes us next-door-neighbors then. my name is noel noa. it’s lovely to meet you.”

he half-expects you to gasp and run off upon hearing his name, but instead your smile widens. “it’s lovely to meet you as well. my name is (y/n). this naughty little elf right here is honoré. do you wanna say hi to mr. noa, sweetie?”

you keep cooing at the boy, while noa breathes a sigh of relief. so you don’t recognize him to be a pro player. in some ways he prefers that. he wouldn’t want to scare you away. his mind races when he thinks about how he’s now next door to who he believes is the most fuckable woman on earth.

“alright, it was a joy meeting you. i’ll see you around then, mr. noa?” you offer.

‘noel is fine.’ noa nods, mumbling an agreement before you wave and disappear into your suite, leaving him dumbfounded in his doorframe. what was he even leaving the house for? he doesn’t remember anymore.

but god. temptation had fallen straight into his lap, and if the arousal churning deep in his gut told him anything, it was that his life was going to be trouble from now on.

…

noel noa has also come across a stroke of luck. his manager on the other end of the phone sighs and tells him that the next season has been postponed for a few months, mumbling on about some logistics issues between the professional leagues regarding budgeting and some new stadium being built. noa couldn’t care less: his job was to play soccer, and that was final.

the bottom line was clear. he wouldn’t be flying out and disappearing again, and for a few months, he was free to do as he wanted so long as he kept himself in tip-top shape and maintained his usual training.

a guilty part of him celebrates. it means he gets to stay longer with you, right next doors. he’s been running into you more often, and you’re always quick to offer up a small greeting and make small talk with him when time allows. noa tries so, so hard to be a good man and genuinely get to know you as a good neighbor should, rather than to look at you and be driven half-insane by how much he wishes he could drag you to his suite and fuck you on his bed.

honoré never fails to happily scream out “dada!” at noa when he sees the man, and you always correct your son with a stern voice. part of noa wants you to stop correcting him, his inner lust-demon celebrating slightly at the fact that your son is ready to accept him as his father. noa had been hesitant on full-on courting you, or at least, what he considered courting (lavinho never failed to make fun of him for having “the flirtation skills of a 13th century monk!”), having assumed that you had a husband.

but he notices the lack of a wedding band around your ring finger. could it be that you didn’t have a husband, after all?

not that it matters. noa knows he shouldn’t let himself daydream. he barely knows you, and the very least he can do is show you a modicum of respect rather than treating you like some hunk of hot meat on the dating market.

it’s dark outside when noa sits down in his bed, unwinding by himself after a long day of analyzing previous games and practicing by himself out in one of the nearby training fields. he hasn’t seen you all day, but he knows you’re home because he stole a peek at your apartment window while heading in. the lights are on, and presumably, you’re inside. it isn’t safe for a woman and a little child to be out and about when it’s dark, and noa wonders if he should offer to escort you if you ever need to go out.

no. he shouldn’t overstep. he really shouldn’t.

but what really throws him for a loop is what he hears through the thin apartment walls. at first he thought it was his phone, having auto-started a video, but nothing in his house could be capable of making that noise. noa sits still on his bed and cranes his ears, and then realization settles like cold snow on his body.

you’re singing. your voice is hushed, loving, and every now and then, noa makes out the whiny cries of a little boy.

he pauses.

dear lord. are you singing your son to sleep?

noa grits his teeth and stifles a groan when a rush of blood floods his groin, and his pants immediately start tightening up. he’s used up all of his self-restraint to not feel this way around you, yet the thought of you, in such domestic bliss with your toddler, turns him ridiculously on. his cock fucking hurts from how hard it is, pressing up angrily against his pants and demanding that he do something about it. his stomach throbs and swirls with need, with the desire to fuck something until he’s satisfied.

his hand absentmindedly wanders to the waistband of his pants, and he guides his dick so that it springs free from its restrictive confines. noa doesn’t think he’s ever been this hard before in his life—his cock slaps up against his stomach, and the irritated tip is already drooling greedily. noa hisses quietly when the cold air rushes against his swollen organ, and he carefully wraps his hand around his dick.

you continue your singing.

noa wonders how you must look. he wonders if your sweet hair is damp from a shower, or if you’re getting ready to step into the bath once you put your son to sleep. he wishes he could bury his face in your hair and lewdly inhale, and he begins to slowly stroke his cock at the thought of your features.

maybe you’d hold your son to your chest. blood swells south at the thought of your breasts. the sloping curve that you always hid behind conservative clothes. noa isn’t sure if he wants to sweetly coax you out of them, getting you to shyly bare yourself for him, or if he wants to rip them off of you like an animal and savor the way you squeal and try to cover yourself up.

he wants to grope your tits. your gorgeous tits, made to hold a little boy close to your heart, once filled with milk to feed your son, all swollen and easily filling up his cupped hands. noa barely holds back a moan as he fists himself while daydreaming about your breasts.

he’d ghost his fingertips over your puffy nipples. he’d hear you cry out, sobbing out a “i-i’m sensitive there, noel-” while he teases them. he’d tug on them too, after a while, feeling your cunt grow wetter and wetter while he has his way with your body. he’d keep on circling his fingers all over your supple breasts, the dainty signs of motherhood filling out and fueling his own libido.

his cock twitches in his fist. he’s leaking pre-cum like a broken faucet. just the mental image of your fat tits has him acting this way, and noa doesn’t know what to do with himself. his balls tighten and contract, and your singsongy filling his ears overwhelms with lust.

he wants to fuck you. he wants to fuck you so bad. his length is fuming at him for not being buried into your delicate body. noa wants to fuck into you anywhere he can get.

your smaller hands, struggling to fully wrap your fingers around his thick cock. or your mouth, that canary-like voice of yours being put to good use by choking and slobbering all over him. or even your tits that he had been drooling over, slapping his cockhead over your sensitive nipples until you’re squirming and scrunching your face up the way he likes it. your plush thighs wouldn’t be too bad too, hearing your breath hitch and hike up an octave whenever his tip catches on your throbbing clit.

‘fuck- fucking hell, fuck, fuck…!’ he grits his teeth as his hands speed up, fucking against his cock as if he were a bull in heat. he hasn’t even had the opportunity to fantasize about your gummy pussy yet, and he’s already this close.

he’s too preoccupied taking his time fucking you with his eyes in his mind, stroking fervently to the sound of your muffled voice. he wants to cum, he wants to cum so bad, he wants to take all of his pent-up frustration and make it real and tangible that you’re the one who drove him to this ridiculous state.

he swears he’s going to fuck you. he swears he’s going to fuck his cock into you until your body bends and breaks to him, until you turn into a fucked-out shell of the sweetheart that lives next door. he’s going to get you fucking hooked on his cock so that you’re drooling and chasing after sex with as much as he’s going crazy for you.

horribly wet shlick-shlick noises echo around his bedroom as he thrusts himself all over his hand. his stomach twists violently, and his heavy balls contract painfully before noa cums all over himself.

‘shit. shit…!’

he grits his teeth and shuts his eyes, forcing down any noises out of fear that you might hear. the rush almost breaks him. ropes of heady cum splash all over his chest and abs, instantly drenching and burning into his skin. he strokes himself through his orgasm, the coils in his gut twisting against themselves, unfurling in and out as pure pleasure streaks through his body. god, this was so wrong of him to do, but noa would be fucking damned if he said he ever came this hard before.

his cock hangs from the pricks of overstimulation as he continues to stroke himself, coaxing out every second of his orgasm as he possibly could. shame immediately floods his body like ice water when his foggy mind clears bit-by-bit, yet he can’t bring himself to jump to his feet and start cleaning up.

noa sits defeatedly in his bed. his chest heaves as he catches his breath, wishing his cum was streaked all over you rather than his own body, and he swallows thickly. he feels horrendously guilty, yet in a twist of ironic fate, your voice keeps trickling through the thin walls.

noa doesn’t even have time to fully let the guilt hit before his dick is swelling up in his fist again.

‘one more round. just one more round,’ he bargains with himself, ‘just until you stop singing lullabies to your son.’

…

“i’m so sorry, noel,” you laugh awkwardly. “i really hope i’m not bothering you.”

“it’s no problem at all, really. this is what neighbors are for.”

you stand a few paces in front of him, and the exhausted smile on your face makes noa’s heart speed up dangerously. honoré is fast asleep on your back, strapped to you with a baby harness. in noa’s hands is a stubborn jar of sauce, which, according to you, absolutely refused to open no matter what you did or how hard you had tried to wrench the lid open.

noa firmly grips the lid, and with a small grunt, he easily pops the jar lid open. your eyes widen in awe as he flexes his muscles subtly, a few of the veins in his toned arms becoming visible. he notices you staring at him, and he gently screws the lid back on before handing it back to you.

“thank you so much!” you beam. “it stressed me out so much that i couldn’t get it open. silly of me to think that when i have you right here. classic case of mom brain.”

noa thinks he’s going to stop breathing. you’re beaming at him in such a lighthearted manner, and your words bring his brain to full halt for a split second. he manages a lukewarm smile, and he’s getting ready to wave you off and let you scurry back into your apartment complex before you pause.

“you know… if you aren’t that busy tonight, would you like to come over for dinner? i’m in the middle of cooking right now—well, duh—and i feel like it wouldn’t hurt to make friends with the person living right next door,” you offer up innocently. “you don’t have to if you don’t want to! i completely get it-”

“-i’d love to. when would you like me over?” noa doesn’t even need to consider his options. “should i dress up?”

“dress up?” you gasp. “you don’t need to do anything fancy like that! it’ll just be a nice home cooked meal, maybe a little wine, just as a sign of goodwill. i’ll still need about… let’s say an hour? that way i can clean up a little too… the petit rascal here has a knack for getting into everything.”

“an hour sounds good to me. thank you for the invitation. i’ll look forward to it,” he responds plainly. his thoughts are going a million miles per hour.

dinner. at your place. with you. just you and him.

lady luck must be on his side. not even playing in the world cup could compare to the amount of anxiety and anticipation bubbling up inside of him. you flash him a thumbs-up, unaware of the wrench you had thrown into his nearly nonexistent courtship plans. he stands a bit dumbfounded in the doorframe (not too dissimilar when he first met you) when you scoot back into your place, most likely jumping straight back to work in order to prep food and spruce up your home to take him as a guest.

an hour. noa decides that it’s enough time for him to groom himself a bit too. jump in the shower, douse himself with a nice perfume, pick out a casual yet still suave outfit. if time allows, he’d even run down to a nearby store to buy a bouquet of flowers. a nice little thank you present for the meal, but undoubtedly enough of an ambiguous gift to give it a slight romantic tinge.

noa was going to milk this opportunity. you had thrown him the perfect chance, and noa knew that once he fixated on something, he would see it through.

to his success, all things willing.

…

everything about your house suited you. your apartment complex wasn’t decorated too lavishly, yet it wasn’t barebones either. noa smiles when he sees all the pictures of your son you have framed against the walls, and your shelves are stuffed with picture books and other memorabilia of the toddler.

you had expertly put honoré to bed before noa had came around, and when he knocked on your door an hour later, you had buried your face in your hands and laughed like a schoolgirl that had been confessed to when he presented you with a bouquet of beautifully prepared calla lilies.

“you shouldn’t have!” you had smacked his arm playfully, but noa felt his chest swell with pride when you rifled through your closet to find a makeshift vase to place the flowers in.

dinner had been delightful. noa had eagerly wolfed down whatever food you served him, and you were more than happy to prattle on to him about how honoré had recently developed an affinity for blueberries and that you were debating between buying him legos or a toy truck.

of course, the wine flowed generously throughout too. you had admitted that you had saved the red wine for a long time, never having a reason to drink it since your hands were full with a baby and not really wanting to crack a whole bottle open just for yourself. noa could tell you were enjoying the drink, swirling the wine glass around rhythmically as the drink slowly stained your plump lips a deep shade of maroon.

how lovely. noa wondered if it would smear if he were to kiss you.

letting you chatter on without stopping you let him extrapolate a lot that he wouldn’t have known otherwise. it didn’t take too many sips to get you a little tipsy, and with a few questions to ease you up, you were practically an open book.

you had gotten pregnant with your son a few years back, and when you approached honoré’s dad with the news, the sleazebag had completely vanished from your life. as awful as it sounds, noa celebrates inwardly when he hears that you’re single. you admitted that you were lucky enough to have good friends and a somewhat stable support system who took care of you through your pregnancy, and you had honoré without too many complications. but one thing led to another, and you ended up moving here.

“i work remotely,” you murmur, stealing another mouthful of red wine. “it’s… not much, but it’s enough to provide for me and my little boy. i get to pamper him a fair amount, and working from home means that i don’t need to worry about a babysitter! it won’t be too long until i can send him to school, and at that point, i can probably look for a better paying job that i can commute to.”

“i see. if i’m ever around, i wouldn’t mind looking after honoré. you already have a lot on your plate, and if there’s anything i can do to ease the load…,” noa trails off. you sigh dreamily, shaking your head.

“oh, i couldn’t ask you to do that. but i really appreciate the offer.” you glance towards the nursery. “honoré has taken a liking to you though. he gets so excited whenever he sees you!”

the tension between you two is electric. noa feels like his heart is about to give out on him, and if the tension mounting in his stomach tells him anything, it’s that he should be thankful for having the foresight to wear loose pants. your house smells like you: sweet, light, a perfect aphrodisiac for the starved man.

this is the closest he’s ever been to you, the longest he’s ever talked to you. you keep batting your eyelashes at him, looking up at him with such pretty, tipsy eyes. maybe it’s the alcohol talking for the both of you, but noa finds it hard to even swallow. he sips tentatively at his own wine glass. his mouth keeps drying up, and he’s thankful that you’re so good at filling up his silence with your own little chit chat.

“if you don’t mind me…,” you start. you peek at him, and he stares back at you with his sharp golden eyes. “what do you do for a living, noel?”

“me…?” panic stabs at him for a moment.

should he be honest with you? you didn’t recognize his name when he introduced himself, so it was clear that you had no idea that the man right next to you was quite literally the world’s best striker. would that change the way you viewed him? would you be scared? repulsed? would you talk to him again if you knew?

“sorry-,” you’re quick to apologize. “that was too much of me. you really don’t have to answer me. that was entirely my bad.”

“no, i don’t mind.” he owes you that much. you had been nothing but kind and welcoming towards him, and all he did in return was go insane with desire. the very least he could do was come clean about who he truly was.

he shifts in his seat, and noa braces himself for the worst. “i’m a professional soccer player.”

you blink at him. “r-really? wait, that’s kinda cool! do you play for a local league or something?”

“i play as a striker for bastard munchen. it’s a german team. they’re one of europe’s most prestigious leagues, and they’ve sent players to the world cup.” his grip on his wineglass tightens just a tad bit. “i’ve played in the world cup.”

your jaw drops. “oh my god. you’re not joking with me, are you?”

he risks meeting your eyes. “do i look like the kind of man to joke around?”

you cover your mouth with your hand, unable to look him in the face. “oh my god… ohhhh my god…! i’m so sorry! i’ve been referring to you so casually, and- and-”

he raises a hand, and he shushes you. “what are you apologizing for? you’ve done nothing wrong. you’ve always treated me kindly. i don’t see why knowing my job would change anything between us. we’re still neighbors. and at this point, we’re friends as well, I'd hope.”

he sees you swallow back a sigh, and you take a deep breath and nod. “right. yes. this doesn’t change anything… it’s still a lot to just- to just take in, you know?”

“you take the time you need. and if interacting with me becomes too much, then i understand. the last thing i’d like to do is make you uncomfortable.” his heart wrenches painfully inside of his chest at the thought of no longer being able to talk to you. but you’d find out sooner or later, and if his cover was going to be blown, noa would prefer doing it on his own terms.

“can i ask you another question then?” you ask with your mousy voice.

“go ahead.”

“why do you live here then?” you hiccup. “shouldn’t a super talented soccer player like you live in a big mansion?”

“i could. but i don’t particularly want to.” noa notices that you’re working up the courage to look him in the face again. his stomach twists once more, the sight of your pretty face all conflicted throwing his brain into turmoil again. he clenches his fist, digging his nails into his palm to bring himself back to the same plane of reality that you were on. “i’ve never been interested in a flashy life. i prefer living quietly and doing as i’m told.”

“that does sound like you,” you hum in agreement. “well, as surprising as it is, i’m glad to have someone like you for my neighbor. and i promise i’m not saying it just because i know that you’re a professional athlete now!”

you giggle brightly, your lips curving to match the rim of your wine glass. you down the remaining liquid, giving a soft smack of your mouth to fully savor the notes. noa clenches his jaw visibly, and his nails threaten to break the thick skin of his palms.

you’re tempting him. you’re driving him insane. your lips are dyed and pretty, and noa has been staring at them all evening. his throat feels dry and heavy, and he forces the arousal pooling in his crotch to calm down.

he can’t be like this right in front of you. it was one thing to act like an immoral, debauched man in private, but it was another to be unable to control himself in front of you. he was better than this. he knew he was.

but the heart wants what it wants. and there was nothing more that noa wanted than to force you to your knees, to whip his hardening cock out of his pants and smack your slutty wine-stained lips with the tip. he’d force you to open up and stretch that cute mouth of yours around his girth, watch you struggle to take him into your mouth and whimper all over his cock. knowing you, you’d beg him to be gentle with you, to be quiet so that you wouldn’t wake up the slumbering angel in the next room over, and noa would have to fight every animalistic instinct in him to not fuck you until you’d be wailing the house down.

“is everything alright, noel?” you break him out of your thoughts. he shakes his head, clearing his thoughts before he faces you. he can’t stop the heat from flooding his face, but he’s quick to decide that he’d simply blame it on the alcohol.

he couldn’t keep doing this forever. something or other would give, and the last thing noa would want would be to do some unforgivable or stupid. it was torture, to have his body say one thing and his mind another, especially when you were quite literally within arm’s reach.

“i’m alright. you don’t need to worry about me. i can take care of myself,” he promises. you lean in closer, enough so that noa can feel your warm breath trickling across his neck. his heart threatens to stop, and he looks at you with hesitant eyes.

“are you sure?” your hand lands on his thigh, squeezing him gently.

oh. so that’s how things were going to be. what a goddamn minx you were, doing something like this with such disgustingly innocent intent.

“yes. i’m fine,” he presses his lips into a thin line. “would you mind passing me the wine bottle? i’ll pour us another glass, if you don’t mind…”

…

your mouth tastes delicious, like fresh wine and everything he had wanted to do to you since forever. your face is flushed, and your eyes are hazy, barely meeting his as you struggle to keep up with him through your drunken state.

“n-noel-!” you squeak out. his heavy body weighs you down, keeping you trapped between him and your squeaky bed. things are a blur, even for him.

one moment he’s pouring you more wine, and the next, the two of you are stumbling into your room, where he tosses you down onto the mattress like you’re a ragdoll.

“tell me you want it.” he rolls his clothed hips into yours, and you recoil into the bed with a choked whine. the sound goes straight to his dick. god, how long had he wanted to hear that? to hear the woman he had coveted for so long moaning underneath him?

you shake against his larger form. “w-want it- i want it, noel-“

“you want me to fuck you? you want your next-door-neighbor to fuck you?” he whispers. you shut your eyes as he kisses up your neck, his hands gripping your waist as his lips capture your earlobe. he sucks, his tongue lapping at your soft skin.

his imagination has nothing on how you actually feel in his hands. even through your clothes, he has no issues palming at your figure. you breathe out his name as his palms feel your curves, his fingertips dancing with the hem of your clothes.

you nod wantonly, not once fighting off his advances. “yes! yes, i want it- want you to fuck me- want my next-door-neighbor to have sex with me!”

“good girl,” he exhales. your breathing shallows as he coaxes your shirt over your chest and head, and you shudder as his eyes land all over your stomach and breasts.

your bra struggles to hold onto your chest, your full breasts pooling over the edge. you yelp when he yanks at your bra, snapping it off of you and letting your chest tumble out fully in front of him.

you instinctively try to cover yourself up with your arms, and noa grabs your wrists and wrenches them off of your chest. you mewl when the air nips at your nipples, causing them to perk up slightly.

“don’t you dare think about hiding yourself from me,” noa whispers. “you have no way of getting yourself out of this.”

you rub your thighs together, your cunt throbbing. when was the last time you had done this? you hadn’t had sex in years, not when you had your hands full with a baby and keeping yourself afloat. you were a mom, for fuck’s sake, with a whole baby to watch out for, yet here you were, pinned down underneath noel noa while he grinded his boner into your thighs.

his hands latch onto your chest, and his palms grope at your fat tits slowly. you moan out breathlessly when his calloused palms tease at your nipples, sending a jolt of arousal into your stomach. a wet patch forms in your panties, horribly turned on just from having your boobs squeezed a few times.

“god, you have no clue what your body does to me,” noa rasps. “do you have any idea how much i’ve dreamt about this? how much i wanted to touch those slutty tits of yours? look at you—your body was practically made to be fucked.”

your core twists painfully, and his fingertips pinch tentatively at your nipples.

“ah-! ahhh- noel-,” you buck your hips unconsciously, arching your back as he tugs at your chest. it stings, but it feels so good. even with the wine muddying your thoughts, your body responds to every little bit of attention noel showers onto you. you didn’t know you had it in you to be this lewd or to be this responsive.

you want more. it had been far too long since anyone showed you any love like this.

he slaps your tits before bringing his hands down to your pants, expertly undoing the zipper and hooking his fingers around the waistline. you let him wiggle your clothes over your hips and legs, leaving you almost entirely naked save for your drenched panties. it feels so terribly lewd, to lay there all bare for a man, even if you two haven’t technically done anything.

his hands squeeze possessively at your thighs. “i wanted to fuck you ever since the first time i saw you. ever since you told me your name, since your son started calling me dad. that wouldn’t be so bad, would it? if i became his dad?”

your chest tightens, and you bite back another lewd moan. noa ducks his head down and nips at your thighs with his teeth, and you flinch into his chest.

“you said it yourself. your little boy loves me,” noa murmurs. his tongue laps over his teeth marks, and you suck in a breath. your pussy twitches, clenching around nothing. your body wants more, wants to feel more noa more, wants him to take over your body and make you his. “nothing would make him happier than his beloved mommy to have a dad by her side.”

his mouth heads upwards, and he uses his strong hands to pry your shaking legs apart. you whimper, already feeling so exposed to the bigger man despite still having your panties on. he leans back, but his fingers ghost over your crotch. two fingers press up right against your pussy, and he rubs them up and down your covered slit.

his fingertips are damp. you’re obscenely wet, and watching you struggle to control yourself has noa’s cock straining for its life in his pants.

“or even better,” noa grabs at the waistband of your panties, “daddy fucks mommy pregnant and gives him a younger sibling that he can dote on.”

you throw your head back against your pillow. your mind spins with arousal and alcohol, and noa slips your panties off without any resistance. a strand of slick sticks to the crotch of your underwear, and noa’s finally rewarded with the sight of your bare pussy. he can see your hole fluttering and twitching on itself, desperate to be stuffed and stretched out with something.

god. your body is so attractive to him. he’s never wanted to fuck someone more in his life. with your full hips and soft stomach, motherhood has mellowed out and accentuated you into a woman noa just couldn’t resist.

he thinks he’s going to stop breathing.

“d-don’t look too hard-,” you stammer out. your body heats up and flushed at how intently noa’s staring at your defenseless cunt, knowing that your body’s begging to be penetrated and fucked.

“i’ll be so good to you,” noa vows. you’re frozen on the sheets, and noa nearly shreds the clothes off of him. your voice catches in the back of your throat when you see his toned chest and abs, the silhouette of the soccer player resembling more of a greek god than the man you had always known as your neighbor.

he pulls his pants down, and when he shoves his boxers off, you can’t help but gasp “oh!” at how big his cock is. he’s obscenely thick and long, and your pussy is both parts scared and aroused at the sheer size. god—you just know that he would stretch your walls out deliciously. his tip smacks his abs, and prominent veins run all along his length.

“you’re so big…,” you eke out. “it’s been so long since i had sex… i don’t know if it’ll fit.”

“i’ll make it fit.” noa rests his hands on top of your knees. “do you want me to prep you?”

you nod. “yes please…”

he reaches over and grabs your hips, and before you can fully register what’s happening, noa hoists your hips up into the air. you give a loud cry, and the bed creaks underneath you as noa ducks his head. his grip on you is firm, and his fingers press into your hips as he brings your drooling cunt to his mouth.

noa’s tongue circles your throbbing clit. your hands fly up to your pillow, gripping at the plush material. jolts of electricity shoot up your core, and your stomach twists with pleasure. your thighs subconsciously try to shut, but noa curves his hands to keep them spread open.

“nngh…! wait, noel, hold on-,” you sob. you grip your pillow, clamping your teeth shut as noa teased your clit with the tip of his tongue. your hips shake as you grind up into his mouth, each wave of stimulation making your pussy drool and throb for more. “ah- be gentle with me…!”

be gentle with you? dear lord, noa sucking on your clit like a starved man was him being gentle with you. he had jerked himself off countless times fantasizing about having you naked and in his arms like this, and it took everything in him not to break that dripping cunt of yours in half with his dick. his cock twitches and protests when noa ignores his own arousal, too preoccupied in trying to force an orgasm out of you.

you taste so sweet on his tongue. you mewl out his name over and over, and your voice sounds like literal honey to his ears. one of his hands snakes down from your hips, and while noa swirls his tongue around your nub, he circles your pulsing hole with a finger. he could die right there and then, and noa would die a happy man. drowning in your honeyed cunt, losing himself to the tantalizing sensation of pleasuring you like any devoted man would.

“oh! oh god, noel-” your pussy can’t stop leaking with slick as noa keeps teasing you. he slips a finger in without much resistance, and your walls eagerly latch onto him. noa groans against your cunt when he feels your wall twist and clench around his finger, greedily sucking him in.

god, noa thinks he’s going to go insane. his cock wants nothing more than to bury itself into your sweet pussy, and feeling you twitch and clamp up on his finger makes his dick grow hungrier. his arousal is almost impossible to ignore, yet noa continues to swallow and lap at your core while he fingers you slowly.

he slides in another finger, thrusting in and out of you carefully. you buck your hips, crying out so prettily for him. noa curls his fingers and presses his fingertips all inside your pussy, and he stays vigilant in looking for that sweet spot that would completely unravel you.

“fuck-! fuck, wait- please, i-i can’t-!” you plead. your pussy tightens up around his knuckles dangerously, and noa fucks his fingers up into the spot that made you clench up and mewl so loudly. you’re already moaning and trembling this much just from being fucked on two fingers and having your clit sucked. noa can’t get enough of the way your body twists and reacts to everything he gives you.

a third finger prods at your hole, as if to ask if you’re ready. you inhale shakily as noa pushes another knuckle into you.

“fuck…!” you’re immediately clenching up, and your pussy’s walls are rubbing all against his fingers greedily. you’re nearly in tears, just from being fingered, and noa fights his desire to break you. “it feels so good- you feel so good, noel…!”

he thrusts his fingers into you, and you reel visibly. he can tell from the way your pussy has been twitching and gushing all around him that you’re close, stretched to your limit just from three fingers. he doubles down on flicking his tongue all over your clit: letting you grind your hips down greedily against the broad of his tongue. your body shakes, and you can’t stop sobbing.

you’re almost there. you both know you’re almost there. noa focuses himself on pleasuring you fully, and he roughly fucks his fingers into you and curls his knuckles into your g-spot without any mercy.

“noel-!”

your cunt squeezes his fingers for dear life, and noa latches himself onto your clit as you nearly wrench yourself out of his grasp. heat shreds your body, and the tightening in your stomach snaps violently as you cum shamelessly all over noa’s hands and mouth. you cry out his name loudly again, your normally gentle voice sounding so lewd and desperate as your slick gushes all over his chin and palm.

“fuck…! cumming- i’m cumming, noel…!” your body twists in his hands, and noa continues to stimulate your cunt until you’re babbling incoherent noises. he pulls his fingers out of you slowly, feeling your pussy try to cling to his knuckles before he lets you down properly onto the bed again. you’re struggling to catch your breath, your wide eyes all hazy and drunken as you suck in shaky breaths.

noa has no issue swallowing down your cum. he sucks your juices off of his fingers, cleaning up his mouth and chin before he scoots closer to you. you let out such a pathetic moan when he spreads your legs out again, your body too pliant and weak to offer any resistance. the sight of your obviously overstimulated and squirt-slicked cunt makes some sick monster in him swell with pride.

he did that. he made you cum.

he grips his long-ignored and fully engorged cock, and he smacks it against your cunt lightly. you flinch, your hole flaring up as he rubs his dick up and down your slick pussy lips.

“are you doing alright?” noa asks. his hands grab your hips, and your heart flutters as he rubs soothing circles into your skin. you nod weakly.

“yeah- i can do it,” you promise. you glance up at him with such pretty fluttering eyes, remnants of tears clinging to your lashes as you swallow. “i want you in me… i want your cock in me, please…”

“alright. deep breath. relax for me,” he commands. you nod again, and you shakily inhale and try to loosen your muscles up.

it immediately burns when he slides into you. you grit your teeth, trying your hardest to keep your pussy relaxed as his thick cock invades your pussy and stretches your walls out to its limits. noa grips your hips tightly, and he groans lowly when he feels you clamping up around his dick.

“fucking hell-,” he breathes out. “you’re so fucking tight-”

“t-too big-” hot tears prick at the corners of your eyes. “oh god, you’re going to break me!”

your pussy sucks him in and rubs all around his cock in a way that makes noa see stars. you’re so soft and tight, clinging and drooling all over his dick while his girth stretches and flexes your walls out. he keeps pushing past the resistance until he bottoms out, his balls resting heavy on top of your ass. you choke and gasp as he pushes your hips back even further, and he hovers over you, keeping you trapped underneath his thick legs.

a mating press.

“listen to me now,” he says. “i’m going to fuck you pregnant. i’m gonna fuck this pussy of yours till you’re pregnant again, and i’m going to give that little boy of yours a sibling of his own. you’d like that, wouldn’t you? have a baby of our own and form a perfect family…”

your pussy squeezes involuntarily, and even without you saying anything, he knows you’re turned on at the thought of being bred by him. a loud moan bubbles up in your chest as he slides his monstrous cock out of you before roughly slamming his hips down, forcing his entire length back into your tight cunt.

you barely choke back a scream. his cock has filled out every single bit of your hole, leaving you no room to comfortably take him. you swear that his tip prods dangerously at your womb, threatening to force it open so that he can dump as much of his cum into you as he wants.

oh god, you’re fucked. you’re having raw sex with your hot neighbor, and he’s talking about fucking his own child into you.

“god, you’re so fucking tight,” he groans. “can’t believe you had a whole baby with this pussy with how goddamn tight you are-”

you shudder as he thrusts in and out of you. every time he pistons his hips, he doesn’t waste a single movement. none of his thrusts are shallow; each one pumps deep and directly into your womb, clearly with the sole intent of getting you pregnant.

“haven’t had sex with anyone since- since i got pregnant with honoré,” you manage out. “fuck, fuck- you’re going too deep!”

irritation irks him in at the thought of some bastard getting to fuck you first, at the thought of another man getting to fuck that slutty pussy of yours. what kind of madman would even dream of letting you go, let alone throw you out so cruelly into the world? if he could, noa would keep you at home and lavish you with all the attention and love you could ever want. he’d pamper you, treat you like the goddess you are, make sure you know your worth and more. he can imagine it: buying you pretty clothes, taking you out to expensive dinners, spoiling honoré until the boy’s world is flipped upside down by his indulgent stepfather.

but when noa glances down to see you all spread out and submissive for him, your hole eagerly taking his cock and getting ready to be stuffed with his cum, he can’t help but gloat slightly. he’s the one who has you now, the one who’s going to properly sweep you off your feet, the one who’s going to make you his.

“don’t lose yourself just yet. i know you can take it.” he fucks his dick into you once more, and you moan, unable to stop the arousal coiling up in your core. he wants to make sure you feel it, makes sure you feel every inch and ridge of his cock rubbing against your insides. he doesn’t know when the last time you had dick was, and neither does he particularly care, but he wants your body to know that his dick is the best you’ll ever have. “get used to how it feels. i’m going to make you my wife—gonna give you a family of our own. that’d be nice, yeah? to have someone that can support you? so you’re not all alone with just your son?”

you can’t help but nod, your pussy quivering at the thought. you know you’re not thinking straight, not when wine stains your thoughts and your body’s overrun with lust. but for some reason, thinking about noa wifing you up, taking you to be his cute little housewife while he fucks his kids into you, chasing after honoré and whatever other babies he’s going to put in you, finally having someone kind and reliable to depend on…

you want it. you want it so bad.

your cunt makes it obvious from how much you’re clenching up around him, unconsciously milking his cock.

“you like that? you like the thought of getting married to me and having my babies?” noa eggs on.

“don’t tease me like that-,” you protest. you can barely keep up with everything happening around you. his cock keeps stretching you out, rubbing all over your slick walls and sending waves of heat up your core. arousal floods your gut, and all you can care about is how good it feels to have sex, to finally let loose and forget about all the worries in the world, to lose yourself to a man who wants nothing more than to be good to you.

“tell me it feels good. tell me you want it.” noa’s fingers dig into your thighs. your clit throbs, and you bring a hand to your crotch to rub at it frantically. you’re sniffling and sobbing pathetically underneath the pro player, already this cock-drunk and overwhelmed just from having cum on his mouth once.

“want it-,” you obediently repeat. heat floods your face and neck. he’s so possessive, but it turns you on so much. “want you so bad- want you to fuck me-”

“is that all?” his hips pound into you mercilessly, and you groan. his balls slap against your ass every time he fucks his cock into you, a constant reminder that you’re about to be bred by him.

“it’s embarrassing to say…” you can’t meet his eyes. noa hums disapprovingly, and dread pools in your chest when he draws his hips back all the way, until just the tip remains buried inside your indecent hole. “what are you doing…?”

you instantly turn to look at him, horror flashing across your face when you choke out, “n-noel, hold on, you can’t-!”

he slams himself all the way into you. you shriek, your core immediately burning at the ruthless stretch. his cock prods at your womb brutally, and a mix of pain and unbridled pleasure rips at your body. you’re instantaneously reduced to a crying mess, unable to form words as noa breaks your pussy. you swear you’re going to break into pieces, body left completely to the man’s mercy. he keeps drawing his hips back like that, his cock reveling in the feeling of being completely enveloped by your welcoming hole.

the room echoes with your cries, the desperate ah- ah- ah-! noises from you spurring him on to keep fucking you like a bull in heat. as much as he loves you, cherishes you, wants to keep you by his side, the sex is animalistic and unforgiving. your body feels bruised and battered as he bullies his length into you over and over again, stretching and molding your insides to adjust to his massively unfair size.

“say it!” noa’s voice doesn’t waver even once. “say it properly, or i’m not stopping until you pass out.”

you open and close your mouth dumbly, your mind too fogged up to think properly. you endeavor and push through, pursing your lips to form the words that noa has wanted to hear since the beginning. “w-wanna have sex with you more! wanna be yours- wanna be your wife-! wanna get m-married to you and- and have your babies!”

“yeah?” the blond man repeats. “you want me to be your husband? you want me to be honoré’s stepdaddy? you want me to father the rest of your kids?”

the dirty talk arouses you in a way you didn’t even realize was possible. you throw your head back, your back fully arched. you’re being so loud, too loud, and while you knew you should be quiet and good for your son’s sake, you can’t help but shamelessly beg for the man on top of you to fold you in half and fuck you pregnant until you’re nothing more than a stupid breeding bitch for your evidently soon-to-be husband.

“yes…!” you moan wantonly. “i want it all!”

he’s dangerously close. so are you, he can feel that much. you babble on and on about how you want him, how you want him to make you his, how you’ll be anything he wants you to be. what a depraved woman, he muses to himself, so desperate for love that you’d throw yourself at him once he gives you an opportunity to. he thinks it's awfully ironic, knowing that he did the same to you, and he’s glad that he has nothing but relatively good intentions.

minus the fact that he wants to get you pregnant.

his cock throbs and threatens to spill his cum into you. you’re teetering on the edge, aroused beyond your own comprehension by the sex and dirty talk, your sticky fingers playing with your abused clit. his hands reach for your tits, groping your sensitive breasts again.

he can’t wait to see you pregnant. your pretty chest, swollen up with milk for his baby, and your hips full and rounded out. your soft belly is stretched out, and you practically glow with warmth. he knows you’d be a good mother—he knows you’re a good mother. you dote on your son with so much love in your heart, and he knows you’d do anything to make sure that your family stays happy and healthy.

his heart swells.

“fuck-” he pumps his dick in and out of you at such an inhumanly fast pace. your pussy won’t stop coiling all around him, making sure to milk him for all he’s worth and intoxicating him endlessly. noa knows he hasn’t had that much to drink during dinner, but the sensation of fucking into your warm hole makes him feel like he’s had one sip too many. “gonna cum, love- gonna cum inside you and make you my wife…”

“do it-!” you encourage him. your voice is strained and high-pitched, and your thighs ache with the pressure of having him breeding you in such a demanding position. but he’s so deep in you, touching you in places you didn’t even know was possible, and the pleasure makes your mind go blank. “cum in me- please, cum inside me, noel!”

how can he refuse? you’re begging for him, asking him with such doe-like eyes and offering up that tempting body of yours.

it’s his turn to beg. “stay with me.”

you let out a loud squeal as he draws his heavy hips back one last time. your hole contracts around him, your desperate walls trying to drag him back inside, and he slams down into you as far as he can go. he knows he’s going to be hooked on your pussy, hooked on your body and the way it feels like you were made just to take his cock and get pregnant with his babies, hooked on all the ways he’s craved you with such an insatiable appetite since he’s laid eyes on you.

he lets himself go. with all the lust in his heart, enough to rival the sheer amount of love he has for his sweet, sweet neighbor.

he’s never cum this hard before. his balls tighten up painfully as he empties himself out inside of your cunt, and you moan out his name when you feel him pulsing inside your core. noa clenches his jaw, gritting his teeth together as the rush of his orgasm possesses him. you’re too much for him: too loving, too ready, too perfect, and noa would rather be damned than let you escape him.

it hurts to thrust into you so quickly, not having fully even finished riding out his climax, but he’s determined to shove as much of his semen into you. he needs you full, needs to know that you’ll be knocked up with his baby, and he uses his cock to force ropes of his hot cum into every inch of your womb.

your core tightens and twitches when you feel him cumming inside of you, all of the tension building up coming to a standstill in that moment. “fuck! fuck, fuck, fuckfuckfuck- noel, i’m- i’m cumming- i’m cumming, i’m gonna cum- noel…!”

your cunt wrings his cock, gripping onto his length furiously. noa has to double down, brace himself for the way your body refuses to let him go, as you cry loudly and cum all over him. your pussy keeps contracting and squeezing, your second orgasm immediately setting your nerves on fire and taking complete control of your senses. he can tell you’re instantly overwhelmed, your breathing turning irregular as you pant out for air, a slick ring of ivory froth forming at the base of his cock.

“s-so good-,” you slur out, your words melting into one another. you shudder when noa pulls out of you, whining in slight protest at the sudden feeling of emptiness overtaking your warm pussy. a strand of milky cum follows his dick before breaking, and like a broken dam, a rivulet of semen leaks out of you and drips down. it follows the curve of your ass before beading momentarily on the sheets, creating a pool of cum underneath you.

even noa didn’t realize he came that much. he blames it entirely on his intent to breed you.

he sits down wordlessly by your side, the two of you laying in the darkness in silence as you catch your breaths. noa debates getting up to fetch you some water or a towel, but before he can, you grab at his wrist and coax him back to your side.

“you asked me to stay with you,” you whisper. you sound so hushed, but noa would have to be an idiot not to pick up on the wavering tinges of longing in your words. “don’t go just yet… stay with me.”

he wipes some of the sweat off of your forehead, tucking some loose hairs behind your ear. he ducks his head down to kiss your face, just like how proper lovers would. you smile so brightly, despite your body still aching from the number noa just did to you. you’re an angel sent from heaven, this much noa is sure of. he has never been one to believe that sincerely in abstract concepts like soulmates and fate, but when he cups your face and rubs his thumb over the apples of your cheeks or your eyelids, he gets it. he truly does.

“don’t worry.” his voice is calming, and despite the fatigue ebbing over you in relentless waves, you can hear him loud and clear. “i’m not going anywhere.”

…

you’re fast asleep. noa’s aware that he should be asleep too, the clock ticking into the long and lonely stretches of early morning as he keeps you tucked into his chest. a firm arm holds you close to his heart, and your body slots against his like you were made to be held by him.

a missed call notification from his manager rests on his homescreen. he doesn’t want to pick up just yet. he doesn’t want to return to the real world, to his responsibilities, to be away from you.

a text message from his manager pops up, and he scans the preview with his usual eagle-like eyes.

‘sorry for calling you so late, noa. hope you’ve been doing well,’ his manager writes. ‘unfortunately, it looks like you’re going to have the next few months off as well. some material shipments got delayed, and without it, the stadium won’t be completed for a little while longer. your instructions are the same as last time: keep up with your exercise regime and do as your club tells you. other than that, you’re free to do as you want.’

relief floods noa’s weary body. he turns his phone over, blocking off the light before he pulls you to his chest even tighter. burying his nose into your hair, he holds you against his beating heart. thump-thump, your heartbeats syncopate to one another, and noa already knows he’s going to spend his precious time dedicating himself wholly to you and your happiness.

what he doesn’t see is the next text from his manager. not that it matters, noa has everything he could possibly want right now.

‘you sure are one lucky man,’ it reads. ‘make sure to take some time for yourself and relax, away from sports. breaks like these are rare.'

'you know what they say, noa. there really is no place like home.’

#blue lock #bllk #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #blue lock smut #bllk smut #noel noa #x reader #fem reader #my writing

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yeeterthek33per · 2 months

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Kissin' and Kickin' Charm (Glódís Perla Viggósdóttir x reader)

A/n not requested, but this woman does not get the love she deserves, so I'm making it happen.

Munich is a hell of a lot different than home.

Of course, you expected that, you aren't stupid...

Not entirely anyway.

There's a charm to the city. A much different one than the small Texan town you're used to, but it's a homely charm, if any.

A much broader, explorative city with ins and outs, beautiful buildings, and on the outskirts, something you've come to realise you feel more at home in than the city, areas with wide open flatlands and albeit manmade, forested areas.

It's definitely a big city, with many towns and a lot of diverse structuring.

It's a lot.

But it's your new home.

At least for the next three years, anyway.

You imagine yourself at home in the ranch right now.

Kicking up dirt, green grass and if you're really lucky, mud and puddles. All of that on your horse, Sweets, that you got for your tenth birthday.

In fact, you'd be there right now, at home on the ranch, if it wasn't for one teeny tiny detail.

Soccer.

For whatever reason, that was the sport your child brain picked to become your newest obsession. Except, it never stopped being that way. You lived and breathed it.

It surprised the hell out of your parents.

They'd never imagined their little, quiet, leather boots, horseback riding, ranch loving daughter kicking around a soccer ball.

But that's what you wanted.

And that's what you did in your spare time.

At first, they were adamant you didn't play it. They refused, insisting that if you wanted to get into any sport, it had to be either American football or horse riding.

But after sneaking home a ball to boot around for the umpteenth time, they relented, letting you take it on.

And take it on, you did.

It got to the point where you were severely outclassing the only all boys teams in your tiny town.

Enough so that someone visiting, who happened to have the right associations, scouted you for the youth academy in Houston.

You went up through the academy, which survived despite the rise and fall of the women's league in the US several times.

Eventually, you were contracted for the first time at eighteen.

It was a big deal.

Small town girl makes her first appearance for the big leagues and despite your parents earlier disappointment in your choice of career, they were now prouder than ever watching you take on the world.

Of course, with that growth, came your first call up to the national team at age nineteen.

That little tidbit had your Mama crying harder than the day you were born. She couldn't have been prouder to see you represent your country.

Playing amongst the likes of legends like Tobin Heath, Heather O'Reilly and even Abby Wambach for a short period, you thrived.

The immense pressure was nothing like you'd ever felt, and you loved it.

Even as reserved as you are, you love a good challenge.

With the call-up, the demand to have you increased, and eventually, at the age of twenty-four, you, rather tearfully, said goodbye to the Dash and moved to Portland to join your national teammates, Sonnett and Horan.

You've spent the past four years there, although you aren't the biggest fan of the city life. You loved the soccer fanbase.

The thorns are well loved by the people in the city and some of the greatest players you've known, to date, play for them.

Of course, playing with the greatest players of all time means you yourself catch the attention of overseas scouters.

It's not the first time it's happened.

Every year, you get calls from your manager letting you know about the offers from clubs in countries you'd never dreamed of seeing before.

That being said, you'd always turned them down, not wanting to leave your home country just yet.

Until now, that is.

When the offer from FC Bayern came through, you just knew.

You knew you had to do it, had to take that chance.

"So what do we say, Y/n?"

"... Tell I'm in if they've got a heated pitch and air-conditioning."

Had your manager chuckling at that.

Taking the time to dig into the team a bit, you end having a look at the team list.

You know the names of a few of the players there, but you'd not formally met them yet, only meeting them once or twice on the pitch.'

One name stuck out in particular though.

Of course it did, she's the captain.

Your new captain.

But there's something you admire about the Icelandic woman that immediately grabs at your soul and you end up taking the time to look up her highlights.

The perseverance, the constant drive to do better and to lift up her teammates around her.

The perfect defence with constant push and pull, defensive manoeuvres and just an overall brick wall of a woman.

The perfect captain.

So when you meet her for the first time, you're a little starstruck.

Sure, you'd done your research in advance, but actually meeting the sweetly voiced Nordic woman has you anxious in your boots beyond measure.

----

When Glódís meets the new signing, she's a little thrown off.

She knew you were American, that you were from Texas and that you most likely had a very different upbringing to the lifestyle you lived now, but the immediate southern charm that flows through your natural southern drawl has her a little flustered.

She doesn't expect the charming smile or the way you call her ma'am and warmly shake her hand, expressing, rather sheepishly, your excitement to meet her.

"It's lovely meetin' you, Ma'am. I've heard a lot about everything you've done for this club and your country. It's incredible, actually, not to sound too much like I'm kissin' up here, but really."

Your head ducks a little, cheeks reddening at your own rambling.

It's adorable, she decides.

"You talk me up a lot for someone of her own incredible skill."

Her smile widens at the way your cheeks darken further under her teasing compliment.

"Oh, I mean, that's... it's not everything I want to achieve. It feels like I've had it a little easier than a lot of the ladies I've seen and played with and known personally. I'm just excited to be here and to get to be a part of something this big. With y'all, at that."

"We're glad to have you on board with us, then. I think you'll fit right in here. The girls have been begging me to let them in the door for the past thirty minutes while you were doing the contract signing."

She gestures to the windowed door to the room, which, with a quick glance, you spot the eagerly waiting players, grinning and waving like kids at you.

It makes you feel a little more anxious now.

Such big names in German and international football and here they are, giddily waiting for you to finish your media duties and finally get to meet little old you.

It feels surreal.

When you turn back to the captain, she's already smiling warmly back at you, and after the okay from you and the management in the room, they let them in.

It's almost too much, the way they all excitedly introduce themselves despite in many cases not having to, with the way you get flustered as you know them well already, having maybe, quite possibly also looked the rest of them up in a bit more detail, purely out of nervousness.

Also, the friendliness of it all.

Normally, with new signings at Portland, it always felt super cold and competitive, definitely a lot colder in the introductions, done during training rather than in a room on the campus.

Of course, after a couple of months, the players did warm up to you, but there's always the cold air about the veterans on the team, all of them wary of you and your abilities.

Always the stress of having your position on the team ousted by the new and shiny youngins for so much as running the wrong way.

Here, in Munich, Germany, in the clubs training facility, in a meeting room, your new clubs teammates welcome you with warm open arms, an air of bubbly enthusiasm and many, many hugs rather than the cold and firm handshakes you're used to.

You recognise a few of them, particularly Magdalena, a regular opponent from Sweden and her national teammate Linda, as well as of course, the German players, the English player, Georgia and Jill Baijings, a member of the Dutch National Team you'd faced just months before at the World Cup.

Regardless of the rivalry held at the international level, they're surprisingly warm, quickly dragging you into hugs themselves.

At least, it's surprising for you.

It feels different here.

It is different here.

You find yourself leaning into it more and more, the more you chat with the team.

It goes on for an hour or so before you're dragged away for more media duties.

The girls are rather reluctant to let their new friend go, waving you goodbye with warm smiles, but small pouts as their chuckling captain ushers them from the room, leaving you with one last grin and a wink that sends heat to your cheeks and shivers down your spine.

Well.

You'll be damned.

That just happened.

----

"She's so cute! I love her accent. She's so sweet with the way she talks too."

The gushing from Giulia is quickly resounded by the other's around her.

"Right? The way she kept calling us Ma'am and Miss. It's too sweet. And her accent, it's so smooth."

"Oh my god, I know Americans aren't the most well known for being nice to listen to, but I listen to her talk all day."

"She's really good too, I've seen her highlights."

There's a few small gasps and protests from around the room.

"Oi! Syd! Why haven't you shown us yet?"

"Hold on, let me just -"

"Guys! Seriously, what the hell are you doing? I've been looking for you for ages. Put the phone away, you all have training to do."

The resounding voice in the changeroom comes from a stern looking Glódís. She's normally quite gentle toned with them, but they were taking far too long to get out on the pitch, leaving their captain wondering where the hell half her team was.

"But we want to see how good Y/n is, Syd's got the highlights here."

"No, you can see how good she is when she joins us for training after her medical assessment. Now come on, or you'll be running laps for making the rest of the team wait on you all."

There's groans of disappointment, but to their rather swift credit, they do promptly exit the changeroom and make their way to the pitch where an also stern looking Alexander Straus is waiting for them, the team's manager, followed closely by Glódís, who's small smile contradicts her rolling eyes and annoyed head shaking.

----

When you do join them, you're quickly grabbed by Glódís, the captain having unofficially ruled that any new signings get paired with her first to properly welcome them to the team, and to also get them settled into her captaincy style and to adapt them to the dynamic of the team.

It's a way to get you properly integrated into the very familial like nature of it all.

Glódís seems very much like the mother of the team. All of them best friends but very much like siblings and but a few of the other older women taking the younger one's under their wings as parental figures on their own.

You figure it as a way to keep some semblance of structure amongst the chaos of the team.

The captain, it seems, is at the head of this, ensuring all of them work well together, the team is lifted for their triumphs, and picked back up with every miscalculated cross and shot, and dragged back onto their feet after every tackle or mistimed step.

Training with Glódís is intense, a good kind of intense. You find yourself enjoying the calculated, focused nature of her defensive manoeuvring.

But it's also warm, the occasional chatter between you leaving you both laughing at the other person's jokes and small mishaps as you settle in.

Her giggles are nothing if not contagious, and you can't help the grin that grows more and more the more you spend time with her.

It doesn't go unnoticed by the others, them taking note of the way their normally much more drill oriented captain has relaxed a bit.

Of course, she's friendly, smart, smiley and very much welcoming, but she's never been this laid back during drills, especially not when she's always expecting to set precedents with the new signings.

But this was definitely different to that.

The lingering touches, hip bumps and tone of laughter are different from the ones she's always held with the rest of the team. It's a little lighter, more giggly and full of a tone they themselves hadn't heard from her.

It was startling to see, nearly.

Glódís was... flirting?

Intentional or not, they didn't know, but it was definitely a flirty tone.

Not that you could tell, bless your oblivious self. You had no idea.

You matched the tone of lightness, of course. But you weren't picking up on everything else, thinking she's just naturally like that.

A very friendly captain.

The other girls know otherwise though, and the knowing looks they share later when your cute celebration after managing to meg the brick wall of a captain has her smirking slightly at your adorableness.

One thing she notices is that the more excited you get, the more your accent comes out.

It's adorable, she realises.

----

The second training isn't much different to the first.

You don't pay it much attention outside of friendliness, but Glódís takes a quick liking to you, now having claimed you for all paired warmups and drills.

Occasionally, you get stolen away every once in a while, leaving you feeling very much like the cool kid on the block.

There's something else, though.

It's in the way the Icelander smiles at you. It's in the way she hugs you every time you score in a mini game.

You brush it off, thinking, once again, she's just being friendly.

But it's a thought that sits in the back of your mind anyway.

You feel like it's a glimmer of hope. You're not sure what for or why but it's there.

Maybe it's a sign of a great friendship blooming.

Yeah.

That's what it is.

Ever since that, it's been amazing training with the team.

Your first match is just weeks after signing.

Your first minutes come as a sub for Klara in the sixtieth minute.

And it's not too long after that that you score your first goal for the club against Leipzig.

It's a beauty too.

A long range effort after a foward pass to Pernille is rebounded back to you.

It was an accident really.

You were aiming for the head of Lea but instead it curls a little more than you intend it to and it bends into the upper right corner of the netting, far past the outstretched gloves of the Swiss keeper, Elvira Herzog.

It feels a little silly, but you can't help the blush when you feel your captain hug you super tightly and lift you up in celebration.

"Let's go, that's our girl!"

----

It's been two months with the team and two and a half living in Germany. You've got a small cottage in the outer district of Munich, with enough yard to set up small drills and other various exercises.

There's been plenty of outings for you, finding yourself socialising far more than you used to back in Portland.

You don't hate it, though.

The whole team has been nothing but sweet to you, and it seems they're already attached, each player having dragged you on outings themselves, whether it be individually or with groups of them.

You're not sure why they've taken quite such a liking, but you think it might have something to do with the fact they keep asking questions for you and you alone to answer, or just anything to get you to talk, really.

You don't mind it. Bless 'em.

They're already like family to you.

Tonight is no different when it comes to being dragged to outings and team bonding nights.

Only this time, it's to a club in central Munich, having been allowed a little freedom given they dont a match this weekend. You yourself don't drink much, but some of the other girls do, so they've let loose, of course, under the watch of their captain and a few of the older girls acting as designated drivers.

There's a small nudge to your shoulder where you're leaning against a standing table.

"Hey you."

You'd recognise that sweet voice anywhere, humming as you turn to the suddenly appeared Glódís at your side.

"Well, hello, having fun there, Sweetheart?"

Glódís' lips perk up at your words.

"Always."

She takes a glance at the cup in your hand.

"Not drinking much? You can let loose a bit tonight, I'm letting you guys off the hook for tomorrow's training. Once in a lifetime opportunity L/n."

She winks at you, and you smile at her, amused.

You shake your head when she nods towards your still half full glass of vodka and soda.

"Nah, I want to be able to get up tomorrow, training or not."

She chuckles, nodding in agreement.

"Oh, to be young and dumb enough to drink like that once upon a time."

"Don't say it like that. You're only twenty-eight."

You huff playfully.

"Please, you and I both know neither of us would make it out alive if we-"

She cuts herself off, gesturing to the very rowdy girls taking another round of shots.

"Well... you're not wrong. To being old and susceptible to hangovers."

She giggles, and you hold out your glass towards hers, meeting her in the middle with a small clink and you both take a sip, her eyes never leaving yours.

"Woah there grandma. Not too hard now."

As you go to take another sip.

Rolling your eyes affectionately, you nudge her.

Turning back towards the group, you groan watching them take another round of shots.

"Oh sweet baby Jesus, Mary and Joseph. How the hell are we gettin' them home."

She pats your head with a small chuckle.

"With a lot of herding and the good old divide and conquer, cowgirl."

Then she moves off to go find Pernille and Magda on the other side of the room.

"You know, you and Glódís would be a super adorable couple."

A pair of arms wrap around your neck as a very drunk Sarah hangs onto you for stability, hear head leaning on your shoulder, and your arm moves to hold onto her so she doesn't hit the floor.

"Sarah, little miss, it's really cute that you wanna include me, but you know I don't speak German."

"One, I'm older than you, Two, sucks to be you."

A poke to the cheek following that, as she sticks out her tongue.

"Aren't you taking German classes anyway?"

"Yeah, but doesn't mean I understand the dialect of drunken soccer player yet."

She pouts at you before grumbling and resting her head back on it's spot on your shoulder.

"What I said was, you and Glódís would make a good couple."

Your cheeks immediately flame up, and your whole body tenses, wondering if you even heard the Austrian right.

"What-"

You clear your throat softly.

"What makes you say that?"

"You're already attached at the hip like no other. I've never seen her like this with anyone else. Even her old friend, Karólína."

"She's probably just missin' her then, Sar"

"If you say so."

It's just about mumbled into your shirt and you're beginning to realise that despite the pumping music, she's starting to exhaust pretty quickly with the way she's leaning further and further into you until you have to sit her down in one of the teams half occupied booths where she settles into another teammates arms.

With a small chuckle, you leave her to it, them saying they'd be heading out soon anyways and would take her home.

As you return to your spot at the table, you can't help but think back on what she said.

Despite her inebriation, what she said held weight in your mind.

And it ends with you eyeing up the woman through the small crowd over the lip of your drink.

You catch her looking back several times, each time sheet meets your eye, you think you imagine it, but her eyes crinkle a bit, and her smile gets a little brighter.

----

"You know, if you keep looking at her like that, she might catch onto you there, Glódí."

She knows she's not being subtle, but she can't help the way her eyes drift over to you.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Schülli."

"I think you do."

Glódís bites her lower lip as she watches you set the very drunk Sarah down by Sam and Linda (The Swedish one) before moving back to where you were, carefully watching over the girls on the dance floor.

It seems, with even just a few months with the team, you're already looking out for them like your own.

When you make eye contact with her for the fourth time in ten minutes, she smiles just that little bit more, which you quickly match.

Though, it seems, she doesn't expect the wink you send with it.

She raises a brow at you, ducking under the cover of her glass, hoping the purple hue of the lighting masks her slightly flushed cheeks.

"Wow, she has got you already, hasn't she?"

"Shut up."

The defender quickly turns away from your direction so the striker doesn't have get given any more fuel and gives her an annoyed but small shove to the shoulder, a slight frown marring her features.

"I think you should go for it, Glódí, she clearly has something for you."

"And what if she says no? Then what? Another friendship here ruined?"

Lea pauses for a minute, watching her, as her head ducks and her cheeks flare up at the admission.

"You mean... Ka"

Glódís swiftly nods, shushing the forward.

"Is that why she hasn't-"

She nods again.

The tips of her ears burn in shame under the taller German's gaze.

She hadn't meant to bring it up, but it just slipped out.

Karólína hadn't exactly reacted badly as such, but things between them haven't been the same since then, and with her being on loan now, they really spoken, if at all.

It still hurt, the look in her eyes as she tried her best to let her best friend down gently. Even then, months later, after the international break together, it still hurt.

After that, she'd sworn off dating teammates.

Hence, she hesitates to even think about pursuing anything with you.

She can't help the pang of hope she gets when you smile so brightly at her, though.

The sweet, charming, smooth tone you hold with her.

The way you hold her just a little bit longer and tighter than you do with the others.

But that's what she thought with Karólína, too.

And she was oh so wrong there.

So what's stopping her from being wrong now, right?

"That's why it can't happen, Lea. I'm not going through that again. I can't risk losing her or risk the team possibly being affected by it."

Lea smiles sympathetically at her captain, hand resting on her shoulder with a small squeeze.

It's silent between them for a few moments before the blonde speaks up again.

"Then don't worry about it. Now come on, I think it's time we get this rowdy lot home, it's nearing midnight."

Glódís sighs in appreciation and nods, looking over to the singing and dancing group of players followed by her gaze ultimately drifting over to you once more, returning the familiar warm smile she receives.

----

"Alright, come on, time for you to go to bed, little miss."

There's a small giggle from the drunkenly slurring blonde as you walk her up to her front door, your hands rifling her pockets for her keys.

"You're so cute."

Giulia pokes your cheek with one finger, and you roll your eyes, ignoring the flush creeping up your neck when you hear Glódís' muffled laughter behind you.

You'd turn to give her a glare but you're a bit preoccupied.

"And you are very inebriated."

Finally acquiring the keys from her back pocket, which she giggles again and wiggles her eyebrows at you for, earning herself another eyeroll as you drag her inside finally.

"You sure you got her there?"

The amused chuckle from the doorway makes you groan as she watches your stubborn self herd the blonde woman, currently letting herself lean completely on you, into her bedroom to at least encourage her to bed for the night.

"I am perfectly capable, thank you."

You're sure she doesn't believe that, but you believe it enough yourself to give up and let the now giggling woman help you as she observes on your masterpiece of drunk person wrangling.

Said drunk person now dead weight in your arms whining about not wanting to go to bed yet, to which you just plop her on the mattress finally and despite her protests, she's asleep in seconds.

Turning to Glódís triumphantly, you catch her amused smirk.

"Yeah yeah, real funny. I'd like to see you do that."

She shrugs, shaking her head.

"You're the one that insisted on bringing her in yourself, without help."

Grumbling, you make sure Giulia is fully on the bed before dropping her keys by the door and exiting and locking it on the way out.

Now, the both of you are stood in the darkness outside, with the last of the girls dropped home already, a collaborative effort thanks to Pernille, Magda, both Lindas and Jovana.

It's just you and her, now.

It's a cool winter night, nearing the end of the season but still cold enough that you're half shivering in front of the older woman.

You're both silent, your eyes drifting over her features lit up under the faint glow of the street lamp.

You swear, she gets even prettier every day.

The subtle but sharp line of her jaw, the way her hair almost glows under the moonlight, and the soft pink tint to her cheeks from the cold all have your heart beating a little quicker.

The way her eyes sparkle as they scan yours from across the porch.

The way her lips quirk up slightly under your gaze, brow raising just a bit.

"You okay?"

Her words snap you out of your assessment, and you hum softly, quickly recovering.

"Just a little tired, let's get on home then, Darlin?"

She nods and turns to head towards her car.

It doesn't surprise her when you jog ahead of her to open the driver side door for her, having done it every single time now since leaving the club.

"Such a gentlewoman."

Apparently, she hadn't grown tired of it yet, so that's a start.

It's a soft teasing tone that you poke your tongue out at her at before jumping in the passenger side.

On the drive out to your place outside of the city, her arm rests on the centre console, lined up next to yours as you hum along to the song on the radio, gazing out the window but also occasionally glancing over at her, scanning her side profile.

If she can feel your gaze on her, she doesn't really react.

It remains quiet for most of the drive, with the occasional hum or murmur along with the music.

It's not an awkward silence, but one you both need after tonight's activities.

Every so often, your pinkies brush, and every time they do, there's a small jolt of electricity that shoots up you arm from where they meet.

The moment you're in your own driveway, you bid her a soft and sweet thanks with a gentle nudge and give her a small wink and wave as she pulls way again.

She's thankful you're not there to hear her most likely audible heart beating in her chest the rest of the way home again.

----

Her heart racing at everything you do doesn't stop that night.

In fact, it gets worse.

It feels like everything you do has it beating beyond her rib cage.

It frustrates her, actually.

Every time she gets placed on something she needs full focus and attention for, she's been perfect for, but if you're there next to her?

Forget it.

Media duties?

Sitting next to you, she can feel your leg occasionally brush hers, arms brushing on the table every time you set it down from making gestures and whatnot.

Coach speeches during half time?

It's like you're doing it on purpose knowing she can't focus when you're standing behind her, hands resting on her shoulders, warmth radiating against her back with how close you are.

At one point, she's convinced you are doing it on purpose when she looks back and up at you, head tilted to make eye contact with you with a brow kinked up as you look down at her with a small smirk and a wink.

The more it goes, the less she knows how to function around you.

Individual post game interviews?

Even with you just moving around her doing various interviews with different journalists. A small brush of shoulders here, a hand gliding across her lower back as you move past her there.

At this rate, she feels like she's drowning in you and she's not even trying to move away.

Paired up interviews?

It feels like she's at her wits end with this one.

You're brought in together for a two-on-one interview for some football media page she can't remember the name of. There, seated on a couch, you're not even really doing anything. Except for the arm you have over the back of the lounge, resting just behind her head.

You aren't seated so close that you're pressed together. But you are close enough she can smell your perfume and it's making her head spin a little.

Hell, she feels like she should be used to hearing you speak by now, but it still has her feeling like she can't think properly with you around.

How she plans on surviving this, she doesn't know, but all she knows if she doesn't do something, she's going to lose her mind.

----

You know you shouldn't do it.

Really.

There's not even a guarantee she likes you back right?

Still, you can't help teasing her a little.

She doesn't confront you about it, she doesn't tell you to stop and as far as you can tell, she's not uncomfortable.

Your captain has always been verbal about how she's feeling when she's talking to people...

Mostly.

But she never leans away from you, only ever receiving a flushed face or an eye brow in response at most.

You can tell it's flustering her though.

By the way she's so quick to hide her reddened cheeks.

It's in the most adorable way that she rolls her eyes at your teasing comments when she scores a pretty good goal.

Small touches here and there, innocent touches. Nothing more than brushes and occasional times of brushing away grass from her face after particularly rough tackles.

The soft smile and drawl flowing from you asking how she's holding up makes it worth it.

Even though you may not be able to kiss her, her smile? Totally worth it.

----

Glódís feels like she's at her breaking point right about now.

When she's getting distracted during a game, a champions league game at that, that's a major problem.

You're both lined up for offence on a free kick when you're pressed in between her and an opposition player while she pressures the player in front.

It takes one brush of your hands on her waist and she's distracted long enough to miss jumping for the header on time.

Instead, you make it to the header, the ball flying into the back of the net as you take off running in celebration, having broken the deadlock in the final minute of stoppage.

Which turns into celebrations of the win the moment the whistle blows for full time and you're piled on for saving the teams chances at a spot in the quarter final over PSG.

The screams of the home crowd are drowned out as she waits impatiently for the end of her on field media duties.

Being the captain sucked sometimes, but it had to be done.

The moment she's free, she's jogging straight over to you and you're being dragged away off the field before you can even realise what's happening.

You had your own media duties, ones that you were currently shirking right now not being out there.

The moment you realise it's Glódís, the protests you had ready die in your throat, left with minor confusion the further down the obscure hallways she drags you until you're both in a secluded area and you're shoved into a broom closet with the door slammed shut behind both of you.

"What's goin-"

It takes all of a moment for her to grab you by the collar and slam you against the door leaving you a little winded and confused.

"Whatever it is you're doing, needs to stop. You're driving me crazy."

"What are you-"

"Don't play dumb with me, every time you so much as come near me, you brush past me, you so much as stand near me, I can't think and it's like you damn well know it, too."

It suddenly clears up there. You definitely didn't weren't doing it entirely on purpose.

Well, maybe.

Okay, it may have been a little on purpose, but you had no idea she was this affected.

"Look, I can stop if it's making you uncomfortable but Glódís... I... I kind of really like you and..."

----

Oh.

Well that changes things.

You actually like her?

You weren't just teasing her?

----

Before you can say much else, her hands cup your face and her lips are on yours in one movement.

Anticipating the action, your arms are around her in an instant, pulling her as close to you as possible, her body hot against yours despite the almost raging cold out on the pitch.

Her hands are firm on your face not letting you go for even a second, her lips fervent and sure as they move with yours.

It's only when you pull away for air that she finally relaxes into your hold for the first time.

Your hands are pressed into her lower back, hers now pressed into your shoulders as she looks slightly down at you, being just shorter than her by an inch.

The two of you just breathe for a moment, taking the moment in.

"You know. If you wanted to kiss me, all you had to was ask, Sweetheart."

She huffs.

"You're infuriating, you know that?"

There's a small guffaw on your face after that.

"What did I do?"

She almost believes the innocent look on your face.

The small upturn of your lips let's her know otherwise though.

"What didn't you do?"

And she kisses you again, slower and more tender this time, slowly pressing you back into the wall, slotting herself easily between your legs.

With your chest pressed to hers, you can finally feel the way her heart races, and she can finally feel yours, too.

There's always been something about you.

Guess it's just part of your charm.

----

#woso #woso x reader #woso imagines #woso imagine #glódís viggósdóttir x reader #glódís viggósdóttir imagine #glódís viggósdóttir imagines #glódís perla viggósdóttir x reader #glódís perla viggósdóttir imagine #glódís perla viggósdóttir imagines #fc bayern frauen x reader #fc bayern imagine #fc bayern imagines #woso oneshot #woso oneshots

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armpirate · 11 months

Text

The Only One || JJK || Ch. 10

Pairings: mafia!jk x fem!reader

Genre: smut, angst, mafia, contract relationship

Warnings: Prostitution, torture, blood, use of drugs and weapons

Summary: You've always wished for a better life. Every single day at work, you were hoping something would change. Although you didn't think that change would come in the form of one mysterious man and a contract.

His controlling and selfish behaviour only wanted to keep you away from any other man that wasn't him, and you only had to wait for him.

Too bad you really thought you'd be smarter than Jeon Jungkook.

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

Y/n swore she felt her blood freezing in her veins, as her whole body paralyzed when she saw him looking somewhere else in the room. She thought her eyes were deceiving her, but she had never seen as clear as she did that day. He was sitting at the edge of the bed, just the same way he did not even a week before.

Jungkook's black eyes finally laid on her, internally smiling when he was aware of the panic installed in those beautiful eyes of hers. He was sure that if he was silent enough, he'd be able to hear her furious heart beating against her chest.

She knew she was in trouble.

His thumb caressed his lip, playing with his lip ring under his digit, as he looked at her. The person that forced him to travel overseas, when he had no reason to. He was sure he killed people for way less, but there he was, looking at her up and down, only thinking about the different ways he could get rid of all of her clothes without giving her time to even blink.

—What a surprise to find you here, doll —he finally spoke.

Y/n swallowed thick, trying to remember in what exact moment everything turned upside down -or even better, why that day only seemed to work against her. Not only did her past seem to be following her around, but her present was about to turn into a big mess, and her future... She wasn't sure there would be a future at that point.

She tried to find an excuse fast, but Jungkook standing up and walking to her blurried her mind completely. For a second, she thought he was getting ready to hit her, but he only pulled her closer so he was able to close the door. Still distracted by the sound of the echo of the door closing, she was taken by surprise when he pulled her wig hard and suddenly, making her heart jump to her throat.

There was no excuse possible for her. If she had wanted to say she was only bringing drinks to the room, she would've been fucked. She had no drinks in her hands, so that wasn't a useful excuse for her.

Jungkook let the fake hair slip through his fingers, as her eyes examined her face carefully. Y/n was avoiding having any eye contact with him; and while that was quite a smart move for her, it was making him nervous.

His digits digged in the skin of her jaw and cheeks, forcing her to look up to him. Horror. Panic. Insecurity. That's all he was seeing. And that was everything she was feeling when her eyes made contact with his black eyes for the first time that night, and she saw the emptiness in them. He was showing nothing.

His pierced eyebrow raised when he realized how she kept her eyes on his, despite trying to avoid that for so long. As if she genuinely had nothing to hide all of a sudden.

—You aren't going to say anything? —he finally spoke.

—I needed the money —she answered slowly.

—You needed the money... —he scoffed— Twenty grand wasn't enough?

—I needed the money fast —her voice trembled as she replied to his question.

—Then you should've asked for it —he let go of her jaw.

She felt the need to move it, finally being able to enjoy the freedom of her skin, but she held back.

—I didn't know.

And there was a lie and a truth there. She struggled to know whether it was a good idea to call him for that or not, and considering they didn't speak a single word since he left the country, she ended up thinking it'd be a bad idea to bother him with his problems. And, at the same time, she went back to working in the club because it was what she knew.

For her it was easier to beg Pedro for a job, for a second time, rather than begging a stranger for money she wasn't sure she could ask for.

Jungkook scoffed again at her answer.

—But you knew you belong to me now, and still allowed others to touch you, see you and fuck you.

What was she supposed to say? She agreed to it all when she signed that contract, she had all those concepts pretty clear, but she still didn't care -or thought he wouldn't ever know.

—I'm sorry —she apologized.

—I know you are —he nodded, raising his hand just to play with her chin—, but we made a deal and you signed a contract. Every action has a consequence, and an apology isn't enough.

Her mind wasn't able to think straight. Too scared to think about anything at all and too angry with herself for not being able to prevent this.

—Since you showed me I can't trust you —he forced her chin up, fixing his eyes on hers—, you'll be doing things my way.

—What does that mean? —she slightly frowned.

And there came the part where everything turned interesting and delightful for him.

—Sometimes you can't control things because they're out of your reach —he pinched her chin before he let go of it again—. And trust me, there's nothing that fucks me up more than having things out of my control. You're one of those things.

Y/n still didn't understand what his point was, but she was aware that the look he was giving her along with that dark smile meant nothing good for her.

—Easy solution: you come with me.

To Korea?

She nervously laughed. And not because she thought he was joking, but because her nervousness wasn't allowing her to keep a straight face.

—I won't do it again —she shook her head—. Everything is clear now, I swear...

—The mistake is already done, doll —he shrugged—. You had a choice, and still decided to outsmart me. Now deal with the consequences of the contract you signed.

—That wasn't in the contract.

And she remembered that pretty well. There was nothing such as her being forced to move wherever he lived in case she violated the contract. But that was what she got wrong, and what made him smirk. They were finally getting to where he wanted to get to.

—It was —he nodded.

He looked through his phone, until he found the digitized copy of their deal. He scrolled down until he finally found the clauses that had written what they both agreed on.

—The server should be ready for any type of displacement the client commands —he started reading, and slowly kept scrolling down to reach the penalties part—. In case there's a breach of the contract by the server, the consequences will be chosen by the client —he then smirked—. In case the server doesn't agree to the penalty, they could get to an agreement with the client.

—We can get to an agreement, then.

—I think you don't know who you're messing with —he sighed—. For all I know, you have two options: either you come with me, or I'll make sure that pretty face of yours gets unrecognizable even for those you love the most.

—You can't force me to go with you —she kept challenging him.

She wasn't aware she was arguing with the same man who got her to sign a contract, on which she was living her whole life in his hands, the same man who took a flight from Seoul to Mallorca only to see her after she was caught red handed, and with enough connections to know what she was doing even if he was in a different continent.

She was delusional, and desperate, to think he was going to step back after that.

—No, you'll be coming by yourself —he sounded peaceful, as if he had everything under control.

And he did. Jungkook was sure it wouldn't be easy to get her to agree, even if he was threatening to physically hurt her. She was still arguing back, which kind of proved to him she didn't love herself enough to care about anything he could do against her -as if working in that club by choice wasn't telling enough.

—And you'll tell Carla and Jorge you got an amazing job opportunity and you'll have to leave.

He dropped those names, sure of that would cause to her. If she had any courage before, it disappeared when those two names left his mouth. Her hands fell on both sides of her body, as she tried to find a way to get out of that neatly.

—They need me here —she said fast—. I can't leave.

—You should've thought things through —he finally said—. It's not my problem you acted like a dumb spoiled bitch.

Rage got over her, it was the only thing left for her. She raised her hand, making her palm burn when it collided against his cheek. Jungkook chuckled when that slap made his head turn, but he was ready for the next one, leaving her mere centimeters away from him as he held her wrist tight up in the air.

—You're a psycho —she spit furiously, trying to get rid of his grip.

—A psycho that has your life, and those around you, in his hands. So I'd be careful —he let go of her—. The flight will take off tomorrow at seven in the morning, I'll send you the location. You better be there.

Or deal with the consequences.

Although he wanted to fuck her brains out, and let her know who owned her body, he knew he had more important things to do than giving in to his own desires.

As soon as he stepped out, he heard how the room was being teared up. And he smirked knowing it was because of him.

Yejun followed Jungkook to Pedro's office as soon as he went back to the main lounge. And by the proud look on his boss' face, he knew everything turned out just as expected.

He knocked on the door once, but Pedro kept saying in Spanish how he was busy and couldn't deal with whoever was waiting for him. Jungkook kept insisting, receiving the same answer from him. Until his patience was gone, and he opened the door.

Pedro jumped on his seat, surprised by how aggressively the door was opened, and although he tried to hide the nervousness Jungkook's presence imposed on him, he failed at it. He saw his dark eyes moving all over the office, landing on him and his desk, a bit lower to see two feet adorned with a pair of heels peeking under the table.

—Sorry to interrupt your fun —Jungkook said with an ironic smile on his face.

—I didn't expect you to be here —Pedro commented with a trembling voice.

While he kept his eyes on the man standing in front of him, he kept trying to pull the woman's body up until she stood up in front of him. The girl was cleaning the corners of her mouth with one of his fingers, smirking at Jungkook as if she hadn't been caught sucking her boss' dick.

Pedro muttered something to the girl, before he playfully slapped her ass and invited her to leave the office. Once the attention was fully on the Asian man, he smiled again.

—What brings you here?

—You tell me —Jungkook answered calmly—. We can do things both ways: we can play stupid and beat around the bush, or go straight to the point.

Jungkook's eyes fell hard on Pedro, making him gulp thick.

—I thought I was clear when I said it'd be your responsibility if Y/n worked here again —he sat comfortably on one of the chairs in front of the dark wooden desk.

—That girl... —Pedro laughed nervously again— She came here begging for work.

—And instead of letting me know, you allowed her to retake her job and even increased the prices to sleep with her —he stated, crossing one leg over the other—. What should I do with a partner I can't even trust?

—Don't act like you have the upper hand, little kid —Pedro commented annoyed—. Don't forget whose territory you're working on.

Instead of taking a few steps back after that comment, Jungkook's smile went wider as he looked at Pedro. His pupils were shaking, and although he was trying hard to keep calm, the truth was that he was being pushed to the edge of his last straw of remaining patience.

—A rat? —he challenged him— Because I bet that'd be Cafre's opinion on you if I let him know how you sold him to the police, so you could keep your business here.

Clearly, Jungkook always did his homework before getting in business with someone, and that background on Pedro about his current partners -distributed in Spain- were interesting, although he never thought he'd need it. It wasn't like he wanted to use it, because having the territory would be enough.

But now that he was betrayed... and not only that, he was also tested and challenged by the man in front of him, he had no reason not to use that information.

He didn't want to start a war, that territory was still important for Bangtan, but he wouldn't allow anyone to step on him the way Pedro was trying to do.

His jaw tensed after he mentioned that event, and how he got away with it after Cafre only got one of his clubs closed. It didn't have a bad ending for either, but he was sure that if his partner knew about the details of him being the snitch, he'd be done.

—It does seem like I have the upper hand —he smirked.

Playing with his lip ring, he pointed to the big chair behind the desk, inviting Pedro to take a seat on it so they could discuss the new points of their deal, which meant a lower percentage of commision for Pedro, and a lower risk for Jungkook to get caught by the police at some point.

✸ ✸ ✸

Y/n destroyed the room after Jungkook left. She clearly didn't care about anything at that point, other than the safety of those around her. And the possibility of something happening to them, because she made a bad decision was only driving her nuts.

She wiped her tears away with the reverse of her hand, looking around at the room: the sheets and the mattress were thrown on the floor, there were some holes on the walls after she threw the nightstand against it, the small TV was pitch black after she dropped it furiously... Everything was a mess there.

And it wasn't like it'd get any better after she got to the dressing room, and found crestfallen Amira sitting on one of the chairs. She left her problems aside for a few seconds, and wondered if she had any problem with any of the customers. If maybe she was assaulted or hurt during one of her services.

It wasn't something new, but it always caused the same reaction on any of the girls. Despite almost being strangers to one another, they always had their backs when something like that happened.

But it wasn't the case.

Amira lifted her eyes from her own arm, and looked up at Y/n through the reflection of the mirror. As she looked up, she stopped hiding whatever she had in her arms. Shaking, she took a step forward and opened the white envelope, finding a fair amount of cash in it. That, mixed with the guilty look in her eyes, and how weird she had been acting towards her those days... Y/n wasn't the smartest around, but she was able to link things together.

—I'm sorry —she apologized—. My son needs to get treatment overseas, I...

But Y/n wasn't hearing anything. She only heard blurred noises that were making her head ache. If she had any self control, it was all gone the second she opened her mouth.

—You've ruined my life —she accused hysterically.

Y/n threw the cash at her, making the bills fall over the place. She kept collecting and throwing it at her face, she even grabbed a bunch and tried to make Amira eat the money, while the older one only tried to push Y/n away and defend herself. She wasn't sure what got over her. If the fear of leaving both Carla and Jorge on their own, or the rage of feeling betrayed by someone she respected and trusted.

A few of the girls, and even Lopes got in the dressing room when they heard the noises from outside, and tried to separate them both, which only resulted in Y/n slapping her face before she stepped back. She was embarrassed of her attitude, and the way everyone was looking at her as if she had been possessed, but she needed to find relief on something she got herself into.

She was mad at Amira, but she could understand why she did it. Her son had been in poor health ever since she started working in the club, and she was offered a fair amount to possibly save his life. And as much as she tried to hate her for telling Jungkook about what she did, there was no point in getting angry at someone that never owed her anything.

She also did anything for some money, and that was why she got caught that night.

When she got home, she was welcomed by the darkness of the house. Everyone was asleep, while she was trying to make up how she'd get out of where she got herself into. The police weren't even a choice, she knew the ending for her would be way worse than if she didn't show up at the airport the next morning.

What would she say anyway? That she was blackmailed and threatened? There was no proof either way. And she was pretty much aware of the power Pedro alone had on some cops. It was quite usual to see cops hanging around in the club, and having fun with some of the girls -and some other things. She was sure that if she showed up at any police station, they'd be calling Pedro the next minute.

She was screwed.

Taglist: @kaiparkerwifes @sheylamc @amy2006jones

#fanfic #ff #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkookxreader #jk #bts #wattpad #kookie #smut #jungkook smut #tattoistjk #mafia!au #The Only One #armpirate

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nordic-language-love · 7 months

Note

Hii~ idk if you talked about it but could you tell us your journey in Japan? How is it + how did you manage to go there (if you want to share ofc!)

It's because I'd like to move to Japan and I'm trying to collect information on how to successfully go there.. so if you have any advice pls lemme know, I'd really appreciate it! Have a great day!

Hi there! I sure can :)

How I Got There

Pretty much everyone I know who came to Japan is an ESL teacher (not surprising given I am an ESL teacher and so are all my colleagues, and when I was doing research I mostly searched Youtube for people's ESL experiences in Japan). The most common route of application is via the JET Program. There are also a number of Eikaiwa companies that hire from abroad and will sponsor your visa (this is what I did - I'm happy to give you the details of my recruiter over a DM if you want). However, pretty much all of these options require you to have a bachelor's degree (doesn't matter what in). The main problem with these kinds of companies is you don't have much control over where in Japan they put you, and typically you won't be in a big city (although you might be in a surrounding area - one guy from my training group is based in Saitama). The pay's also not great (but as long as you live within your means, you'll be very comfortable and you can definitely save up).

Even if teaching English isn't something you fancy, it's probably the easiest way to get into Japan if you have a bachelor's. You don't have to be a native English speaker (although you should be at least a comfortable C1, ideally C2 level), and once you're in Japan you can find a job you actually want much more easily.

You can also try GaijinPot for more jobs - there's a section for people applying from overseas. But please check on places like Reddit or FB groups whether a job seems reasonable before applying; anything that advertises pay "per hour" is unlikely to be a liveable wage, and I've been told 240K/mo in Tokyo is not really sufficient (no problem for me out in the sticks, but Tokyo living costs are crazy).

How It Is

I love the nature here! I live in the Tohoku region so I'm surrounded by mountains and forests and I feel so lucky!

The summer sucks if you aren't a fan of the heat. We had 33-37ºC every day from mid-July to the start of September. I have a colleague who grew up in the UAE and he's been laughing at us all saying how beautiful the weather is, but for me, who is native to a cold and soggy little mound of grass in the Atlantic, it is horrendous. Not to mention the cicadas. Idk if there are cicadas where you live but I was NOT prepared.

You can get by without Japanese, but making the effort will go a LONG way. If you've only ever travelled in Europe or English-speaking countries, you'll probably have the impression that "everyone speaks English to some degree" and that you can always find someone with good enough English to help you. This is not the case in Japan! Your interactions will be very awkward if you don't make the effort. You'll probably be fine in bigger cities but more remote regions will be very difficult to navigate.

I understand Japanese a LOT better than when I first came here. I can still barely speak it, but I'm always surprised by how much I can pick up from the kids from the words I know and context (this is a huge advantage to teaching if learning Japanese is your goal: young kids will babble at you in Japanese CONSTANTLY). I'd probably speak it better if I made the effort to go out and talk to people but I'm shy lol.

I love the job! My colleagues are great and the kids are so much fun. My company does provides really good support and my work-life balance is perfect for me. I also get to use my creative side making classroom materials. But I don't get sick days and I only have 10 paid vacation days, 5 of which are at the end of the year and cannot be moved. I'm also pretty sure most other eikaiwas and Japanese companies will work you a lot harder, and you'll have much longer hours and higher expectations from your company.

Hope that helps! Best of luck with everything. Feel free to shoot me another ask if you have more specific questions!

#ask #sorry for responding so late i saved this as a draft like a month ago and then forgot about it :|

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tinylint · 2 years

Text

Put Down Your Roots - JH

Pairing - Hoseok x y/n

Summary: Y/N moves to Korea for a short-term teaching program with HYBE, teaching trainees about American history and culture. Not only is her trip funded by them, but she is soon dating Jung Hoseok and now that his career is feeling established and comfortable he is ready to settle down. But will y/n be willing to put down roots in Korea? It’s straight up romantic fluff.

---------------------------------Masterlist----------------------------------

I’d been planning on this for a long time, and I’d been looking forward to this for a long time, but now that I was actually in Korea I was absolutely terrified.

I’m young and untethered and now felt like the perfect time to just go for it and teach overseas. It’s early in my career and I am not established yet as a teacher in any specific school or area. If ever there was a time for adventure it was now! I didn’t want to teach English and I didn’t want to teach in an American school, and amazingly I found a job that was teaching Korean students about American history and culture that specifically wanted me to teach in English. It was ideal and the fact that I got it seemed a miracle.

It wasn’t until I started the onboarding process of my new job when I realized who my employer was: HYBE. And the Korean students I would be teaching? Kpop trainees. How did this information slip past me while I was applying and interviewing I will never understand. But the fact that I would now be employed by the same company behind BTS was definitely giving me heart palpitations.

Thus moving to this new country, for a new job, with a new company, and in potentially the same building that BTS may be in?! Time to whip out my deep breathing techniques because wow. I’m freaking out.

———-

After working at HYBE for a few months I was finally starting to relax and get into a routine. It turns out teenagers are teenagers no matter where they are from or what industry they are working in. And since I was already used to teaching teenagers that part of the job was pretty easy even with the language barrier we had. And now that I had successfully worked in the building for several months and never accidentally run into any BTS members I was feeling a lot more calm and felt less like I needed to be ready to possibly meet a beautiful man at any moment.

So it was of course at this moment that I got an email from my supervisor letting me know that I would have some visitors in my class to observe. The program I was teaching was a new program at the company and some of the bigwigs wanted to come by and see how it was going and what it looked like in the classroom. By this point I had convinced myself that this company was far too big and I was far too insignificant to ever meet BTS and especially not my bias Hoseok, so I felt relatively calm going into the work on the day of the scheduled visit.

“Alright everyone, now that we’ve talked about the Bill of Rights, I want you to find an American news story for the amendment that you think has the biggest impact on American culture today,” I wrote the assignment on the board and tried to ignore the groans behind me. “Hey now, you won’t be complaining when you see an idol perform a song that offends half of the United States because their company didn’t train them in American culture will you!?” I whipped around and gave my best teacher face to the groaning students, only to see that the delegation of visitors had arrived.

The students noticed at the same time and became deathly quiet and obedient all of the sudden. I tried desperately not to blush violently because in the group of visitors was none other than Jung Hoseok. What the actual fuck? Why would he be here? How am I supposed to operate under these conditions?

“Teacher can you help me? I keep getting the first and second amendments mixed up,” my star (and brown nosing) pupil raised his hand and requested my help. It was the perfect way to not have to directly interact with the group as they talked amongst themselves and moved around the classroom. I had never been more grateful for a student being a try hard.

But unfortunately once that interaction was over I could tell the group was very politely waiting for me so they could ask me some questions. Blessedly, Hoseok stayed at the back of the group, just listening and not asking questions. Although his eyes on me felt like heat lamps, warming my face and flustering me just enough.

“How is the curriculum going? Does it seem like the students are understanding what we want them to learn?” “Does the curriculum seem right to you? Have you been able to have any input on it since you are our resident expert?” “In your opinion, is this program working?” They threw all these questions at me and more, but thankfully my supervisor had given me a heads up on what questions they would likely ask and we went over all the answers together before the visit.

Once the bigwigs seemed satisfied in my answers they began to break up and wander around the room, some of them even leaving. All except for Hoseok, who quietly hung back, staying near me. It was clear I wasn’t the only one affected by his presence, several of my students kept shifting their eyes near him while they were working. I wasn’t sure if I could look directly at him and pretended to be distracted by all the visitors in the room.

Hoseok cleared his voice and I finally looked at him. “Excuse me, I was just wondering if I could ask about the assignment you gave the students when we came in.”

“Oh sure! The purpose of that assignment is to…” I switched over to my teacher voice and was quickly interrupted.

“No, actually I meant…I’d like to learn about it. I wish this program had been around when I was a trainee. I want to do more work with other American artists but there is so much history and culture there that I don’t understand.”

“Oh! Oh of course! I mean, not that I expected you to not know…I mean not that you have to know…I’ll go and get the assignment papers for you to look at,” I haltingly and embarrassingly moved through a sentence full of unfinished thoughts. I hurried to my desk to pick up an extra paper for him only to turn around and find him right behind me as he had followed me to the desk.

I nearly jumped back on the desk with a small yelp.

“I’m so sorry,” Hoseok quickly said and bowed over and over.

I laughed nervously, “it’s okay I just didn’t hear you behind me, I’m a little jumpy with all these visitors today I guess.”

Hoseok smiled warmly looking right in my eyes as he took the papers, “I don’t blame you. No matter how long I’ve been at this company seeing all these important men in suits still stresses me out.”

“Oh great, so I’ll never get over it? Perfect.” I teased.

“Oh! No I’m sure you’re much braver than me!” His eyes widened in shock at my negative sounding comment and he started to bow again.

“No no no, I was just teasing!” I reached out to stop him from bowing and touched his shoulder. My hand tingled from the touch and he started to laugh.

“Oh wow, of course you were joking. That’s embarrassing,” he continued to laugh.

“It’s okay, you don’t know me well enough to know how often I joke,” I tried to reassure him.

“Well then I guess I should get to know you more.”

My heart stopped. He continued and pulled out his phone.

“Could I get your number? You can help me with this assignment, and I can learn more about your sense of humor,” he asked with a twinkle in his eye.

“Yes, I breathed out, suddenly remembering that I had been flirting with an idol in front of my trainee class and they were surely going to interrogate me as soon as our visitors left the room. I could feel their eyes on me as I took Hoseok’s phone and entered my number.

“I’ll text you right now so you know when it’s me that texts you,” his eyes on his phone as he took it back.

My phone buzzed less than a second later with a text.

‘💜😘 - Hoseok’

I glanced at the text and tried desperately not to blush so I could still look him in the face. But before I looked back up he was talking again.

“Looks like it’s time for me to leave. I’ll text you soon Y/N.”

I finally looked up to see Hoseok wink and leave the classroom with the rest of the men in suits.

After the door closed there were a few seconds of silence and then the class erupted with excitement, most of it directed towards me and the interaction I’d just had with THE Jung Hoseok. It took ages to focus them back on the assignment.

———

I pinched myself, it hurt, I am really here.

I am really in Jung Hoseok’s apartment, sitting in his kitchen as he finished setting the table for you two to have dinner. And yes, it’s just as gorgeous and expensive looking as I expected. Did you know Louis Vuitton makes napkin holders? Well at least for Hoseok they do.

“Almost ready, sorry I’m running behind! I couldn’t decide what to wear and so I’m running late.”

In what world would Jung Hoseok worry about what he wore in front of me?

“It’s not problem at all,” I smiled at him looking flustered, “I’m terrible at being on time usually so it’s my own fault for being on time.”

Hoseok laughed, throwing his head back and smiling at me. “You really are funny Y/N.”

I smiled and blushed lightly. This is already going incredibly well.

“Okay,” Hoseok stepped back from the table and made a quick adjustment to the tablecloth that seemed to make him feel everything was now ready, “we can eat now.”

I walked over to the dining room table and took my seat, “fantastic.”

Our conversation ranged from the assignment he had asked about, to Korean culture, to the absurd nature of both the English and Korean languages, and then to music and dance.

I was terrified to admit that I was a dancer because I was far from professional. But Hoseok finally needled it out of me when he could tell I knew too much about dance to just be an admirer of it.

“Y/N! You’re a dancer! No wonder we get along so well! What kind of dance do you do!?”

“Oh I haven’t danced in so long, but I used to do a lot of contemporary dance when I was in high school. I danced a little in college but I just haven’t had the time since then. I miss it a lot.”

“You should use the practice rooms at HYBE and dance, I’m sure they’d let you,” Hoseok’s eyes lit up at the thought of me having a space to dance in.

“Would they really…let me,” I pointed at myself sarcastically, “use the practice rooms made for international superstars like you?” I pointed at him just as sarcastically.

“Well…they’d let me use it. So what if I reserve one and oops! You use it instead of me?” Hoseok eye’s continued to twinkle.

“Really?” I smiled slowly, already thinking about the music I would use and imagining myself letting out all the stress of the last few months in a new country and job.

“Yes. But only if I get to see you dance.”

My smile wavered, “Uh…..”

“Only when you feel comfortable with it though, I don’t want you to feel nervous like you’re performing for me or anything,” Hoseok’s hand shot out to cover mine in an attempt to calm me down. Little did he know while his words calmed me down his touch did just the opposite.

“Well if you’re really willing to reserve a room for me, I would honestly love that. It would be such a great way to relieve some stress,” I tried to talk through my fantastically beating heart.

“I totally get that, there is nothing quite like dancing out your stress.” Hoseok agreed. “In fact, do you want to dance a little right now? I want to listen to that artist you told me you love so much. Do they have any good songs we could…slow dance to?”

Slow dance? He wanted to slow dance with me? My heart wasn’t going to get a break was it?

“I think Benediction would be the best one to play by them, and the group name was The Arcadian Wild,” I directed him as he typed in his phone looking for the music.

The familiar music filled the room as Hoseok pushed play. He then stood up, pushed his chair in, and offered his hand to you, pulling you up from your chair as well and pulling you into the open space between the dining room table and the kitchen island.

Obviously he is good at dancing but I didn’t expect him to be such a firm leader in couple’s dancing. He expertly placed his hand on my shoulder blade, using his other hand to take mine and waltz me around the room.

“You can waltz too? This doesn’t seem fair, you’re too talented,” I teased him because not only is teasing my primary mode of flirting but I physically can’t allow moments to get too good without trying to ruin them with humor.

“I could say the same for you! Contemporary and partner dancing? You’re very good at following, some women try to lead and it’s very uncomfortable,” he smiled down at me.

“I’m very good at following when I have a good leader,” I smiled up at him and forced myself to let the moment sit and not ruin it with another joke.

We continued to dance and Hoseok spun me, twirled me, and dipped me until the end of the song. As the music came to its end his hands let go of my shoulder blade and hand and slipped down to lock together behind my waist as my hands reached behind his neck.

For a moment it almost seemed like he was going to kiss me, but then two things happened. First the song changed to a much more upbeat song and second, we ran right into the kitchen island as we had not been watching where we were going.

Hoseok let out a loud laugh “I guess I’m not that good of a leader am I? I led us right into the kitchen island! Are you okay?” He pulled back and inspect the back of my arm that had hit the edge of the island.

———

It had been two months since that dinner at Hoseok’s. There had been more dinners at his place, and more times that it almost seemed like he wanted to kiss me, but he never did so I assumed it was all in my head. I mean who am I going to trust? My ARMY brain whose had Hoseok as her bias for years? Or the actual action’s of Hoseok. It would be insanity to take my own word for those experiences so I tried to pretend they never happened.

There had also been many dance session, Hoseok reserved a dance room for me at least once a week. At first he really kept his distance, but slowly we would start to share the room and even sometimes show each other some of the things we were workshopping. Even though teaching is now my profession, dance continues to be my creative outlet even though it’s hard to pursue that as an adult.

Eventually the dance sessions even started to include Jimin, which was very uncomfortable for me at first.

“Hoseok, Jimin is actually a contemporary dancer! You watch my contemporary dancing and are impressed because you don’t know anything about it. Jimin will actually known how mediocre I am, it will be so awkward.”

“First of all Y/N, I’m impressed with your dancing because it’s good, not because I’m ignorant thank you very much. Second, you are much more than a mediocre dancer. And finally, Jimin hasn’t even done contemporary in so long when I brought up what we were doing in the practice rooms his whole face practically lit up when he thought he might have finally found someone to do some contemporary with. Come on Y/N! It will be fun,” Hoseok’s eyes twinkled. It was a trick he could play, anytime I wasn’t sure about something he would pull out those twinkly eyes and I would just melt.

“Fiiiiiiiine, but only because I know that he is incredibly polite and kind so I assume that if he thinks I’m terrible and doesn’t actually want to dance with me he will pretend I’m great and then just never come back again.”

“That’s the spirit.”

So that’s what explains the next phase of our practice room dancing. Jimin and I doing mixtures of solo and duet improvisation while also putting together some choreography on each other just for fun every once in a while. I had to admit, it was really nice to do some no-pressure contemporary choreography with someone. It was relaxing and fun and I always left in a good mood and much less stressed. And Hoseok was right, Jimin loved dancing with me, he had missed it a lot in the last few years where he did a lot of non-contemporary dancing.

One night in particular I was specifically in an improvisation mood because of something that had happened the weekend before.

It had been yet another night at Hoseok’s, a game night with Hoseok and a few friends including Jimin and I. I wish I could say there was something specific that had happened, but it had just been one of those times when Hoseok looked devastatingly handsome and I was constantly aware of how attracted I was to him. The more I got to know him the more I liked him. I watched him that night laugh and joke, listen to and comfort his friends, get unnecessarily competitive about games, and he kept doing that thing I loved where he touched my elbow every time he talked to me and put his hand on my lower back every time we walked near each other. I left his apartment absolutely whipped for him and I just didn’t know how I could keep doing this.

So that day in the practice room when it was my turn to improv I put on “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri and tried to work through my feelings for Hoseok through dance. If there was any hope at all, I would truly wait forever. I’d never met someone like him, someone kind and funny and beautiful who worked hard to keep me in his life. I often felt like I was the initiator in a lot of my previous relationships, both romantic and platonic ones. Hoseok always made sure we didn’t go more than 2-3 days without texting,talking, or seeing each other, which as good because I would have never have had the courage, especially at first, to initiate anything with a Kpop idol. I would have assumed he always had something better to do than hang out with me.

While I was dancing, it was almost like the practice room disappeared around me and all I saw was Hoseok, sitting on his couch, eating at his dining room table, watching him dance, dancing while he watched me, laughing at his jokes, making him laugh. By the time the song ended it was almost jarring to come back to the reality off the practice room with Jimin standing and watching me.

“Wow Y/N. That was beautiful, I feel like there is a story behind that song…you had such a clear purpose when you were dancing.”

“I..uh…well, just reminds me of something in my life,” Jimin and I had been getting fairly close, but I can’t imagine ever getting close enough to him to admit that I was in love with his best friend. Especially when his best friend was an international superstar that had millions of people that would likely give anything they owned to be with him. Who was I to think I was anywhere near influential in the romantic equations of Jung Hoseok?

I then saw Jimin raise his eyebrows and seemingly look at something behind me. I turned around to the window leading out of the practice room but didn’t see anything.

“So Y/N,” Jimin started as I turned back around to face him, “I know you were ARMY before you took this job, but you never told me who your bas was. Did you have one?”

Oh goodness, the exact conversation I wasn’t interested in having.

“I mean, yes, I definitely have…had…a bias.” I stammered out, looking for my water bottle to try to occupy my mouth. I could tell if he poked me hard enough I would spill every bean. I am not feeling strong enough to hold these feelings in right now.

“So….who?”Jimin asked as I started to guzzle my water bottle.

I took my sweet time swallowing that water and let the silence sit,hoping it would deter Jimin from getting his answer. It did not, he maintained eye contact in a major way.

“H..Hoseok…” I finally admitted after Jimin’s eyes had basically bored holes in my head with their intensity.

Jimin began to smile and raised his eyebrows once more, “And Hoseok was your bias….or is your bias?”

Man alive this guy as good at intimidating eye contact, he could get war criminals to confess to crimes I feel confident about that.

“Hoseok….Hoseok is my bias,” I whispered to him.

“So that dance was about him wasn’t it?” Jimin pointed to the dance floor where I had been dancing just a minute or so ago.

“Yes,” I admitted quickly, “but Jimin you can’t tell him it’s so embarrassing! He’s been so nice to me since I’ve moved here and I don’t want him to think I have all these ulterior motives for getting to know him, he’d be totally creeped out.”

Jimin put his hands up and backed up slightly, “Hey, I can keep a secret calm down. Though I must say I don’t think he’d be creeped out. But if you don’t want me to tell him anything I’ll keep my mouth shut. Promise.”

I breathed a sigh of relief, Jimin and Hoseok may be good friends but Jimin is very good at keeping his word.

What I didn’t know was that Jimin was not the only person to not only see me dance. Hoseok had been watching through the window to the practice room, which is what Jimin had noticed before asking about my bias. But he had skedaddled as soon as I turned around so he hadn’t heard my confessions. And Jimin was true to his word…technically.

—————

‘I think we should have a movie night tonight, just you, me and Y/N’ Jimin texted Hoseok shortly after I left the practice room.

‘Okay! But why just us three…do you know something I don’t know?’ Hoseok had been thinking about you so intensely since stepping away from watching you dance that he had officially run into three walls in the last four minutes. He was really hoping that Jimin knew something specifically that he didn’t know. Something that he wanted to know, something that he wanted to be true…

‘Let’s just say, I think the smaller the better tonight. And I may have to leave early…😉’

Hoseok’s heart jumped, he was about to text Jimin demanding real answers when he got another text from him.

‘I’m sworn to secrecy, that’s the most you’ll get out of me.’

‘I’ll tell you this much, you saw her dance today, you should ask her about that.’

————

I arrived at Hoseok’s with my heart beating out of my chest. Why was I so nervous? I had been to his place probably 2-3 times a month since moving to Korea? What was different about tonight? Well, because tonight happened after today and today I had confessed how I really felt about Hoseok through both dance and words. As long as Jimin is here tonight as a buffer I’ll be able to operate just fine.

The door swings open to Hoseok’s perfect face.

“Y/N! Welcome! I just heard from Jimin and it turns out he can’t come tonight so it’s just us, hope that’s not too boring.”

My heart stops and the breath catches in my throat. I might die.

“Oh, that’s fine,” I manage to squeak out.

We soon got situated on the couch and seemed to have run out of small talk, no one was even mentioning the movie we were planning on watching. Was it just me or did Hoseok seem as nervous as I felt?

“So…Y/N. I saw you dancing today,” Hoseok finally said shyly, not quite meeting my eyes.

“You did? That must have been what Jimin was looking at behind me!” The look Jimin had given after my dance suddenly made sense. And then horror flooded my body, he didn’t hear the conversation did he? “Did you hear the conversation I had with Jimin after that?” I tried to sound as nonchalant as possible.

“No no no, I left pretty much right after you stopped dancing. It…well your dancing made me think…” Hoseok definitely looked flustered.

“…made you think what Hoseok?” I prodded hopefully.

“Watching you, and listening to the words of the song I just…well I don’t know if you were dancing about someone in particular but it seemed like you were, it seemed like a really purposeful dance. And I…well I think whoever you were dancing about is probably just about the luckiest man in the world. And hopefully they know that.”

I paused, trying to take in what he said. Was he implying that he wanted it to be him? I wasn’t gutsy enough to just come right out and say that, so I inched toward the truth instead.

“He doesn’t know,” I whispered, unconsciously moving closer to Hoseok on the couch and hesitatingly putting my hand on his knee.

Hoseok mimicked my actions and scooted closer, placing his hand on top of mine.

“Is it me?”

I tried to answer, but my fear wouldn’t let me. I opened my mouth and nothing came out. He came to my rescue.

“Because I want it to be me.”

“It’s you.”

He squeezed my hand and cupped my cheek with his other, stroking my face lightly before leaning in to kiss me. It wasn’t a simple kiss, it was long-awaited and full of longing. It was pent up passion from our first dinner, from all the almost kisses and confessions in between.

Hoseok pulled away from me just far enough to say “I’ve been wanting to do that since the first time I saw you.”

I giggled. “I’m glad you finally did.”

——————-

The end of my one-year contract with HYBE was coming close. Hoseok and I had been officially dating for nearly half of that year. Jimin, by the way, took full credit for our relationship and made sure we remembered it.

I began to think about whether I wanted to renew my contract, because while this contract had just been a trial for a new program, the next one they wanted me to sign was for 5 years. The program had gone very well and they had been very happy with my work. I had loved worked there and everything about it had been such a joy. But.

I was so far away from my family, I had planned on this just being a small adventure before I decided to really settle down back home. I had always expected to go back to my own country and my own home state and put down roots there near my family. Living in Korea long-term was never in the plan and seemed crazy. Unless…unless someone here wanted me to stay.

I don’t think I’m wiling to put down roots in a foreign country if those roots are just mine, but if they are growing with someone else’s? I’m wiling to settle down in an unexpected place if I’m settling down with someone. I just needed to know if Hoseok wanted that same thing. I didn’t want to pressure him, we hadn’t been dating terribly long, but we had been dating long enough that this decision of mine included him, it couldn’t be just about me. But even then, putting down roots in a foreign country. That’s a lot to decide even if I’m doing it with a great boyfriend by my side.

Hoseok and I were settling down on his couch after dinner when I decided to tell him about the 5 year contract I had been offered.

“Hoseok, HYBE wants me to come back, they offered me a 5 year contract.”

His eyes went wide and his face broke into an ecstatic smile. “Really!? Y/N that’s amazing! Are you going to take it?”

“I haven’t decided yet, 5 years is a long time. I have loved my year here, I just can’t decide if it’s really what I want for 5 years. That’s a long time to be away from my family. It feels like it’s essentially deciding that this is where I’ll stay for the rest of my life and…I’m just not sure I’m ready to make that commitment.”

Hoseok nodded along as he listened, furrowing his eyebrows and focusing intently on my mixed emotions.

“I think all of that makes a lot of sense Y/N, you are the only one who can make that decision and I’m sure you’ll make the right one.”

“But do you want me to stay?” I asked. While it might not yet be the time to bring up the question of marriage, whether or not he wants you to stick around would say a lot.

“Oh jagiya I absolutely want you to stay. I wish it didn’t mean you were far from your family and your home and your culture and your language, but if it was up to me you’d never leave me,”he grabbed my arms and rubbed them up and down while answering my question. “But I don’t want you to only stay because of me.”

“I wouldn’t only stay for you, but knowing you want me to stay does factor into my decision,” I chewed my lip in concentration. This will be a hard decision to make even knowing Hoseok wants me here.

———

While you were contemplating your decision, Hoseok was getting the advice of his members, trying to figure out how to convince you so stay in Korea and to stay with him. He didn’t want you to stay if you would be unhappy, but he also wanted to remind you of how happy you could be in Korea with him.

“Okay how do I convince her to stay? What do I do?”

“I think you’ve got to make sure you’re texting her compliments all the time,” Jin offered, “remind her of how much you love her and how happy you can make her.”

“I think you should bribe her with gifts! You’re so good at giving gifts hyung,” V added to Jin’s suggestion.

“You’ve got to show her how great Korea is, not just how great of a boyfriend you are. Take her hiking, to art museums, remind her of all the great things Korea has that the US doesn’t have.” Of course RM’s suggestion included art museums, still a good idea though.

“Spend as much time with her as possible, you’re so good at making people feel good about themselves, the more time she spends with you the less she’ll want to leave,” Jungkook suggested.

“You should definitely dance with her hyung, so much of your relationship has included dance. Maybe if you offer to learn some contemporary you two can choreograph something together that is meaningful and make her think about staying here with you.” Jimin’s idea was one that Hoseok never would have thought of but he really liked the idea of it.

“When it comes down to it Hobi, it has to be her decision entirely, but I don’t think it is a bad idea to remind her of how much you want her to stay. As long as you aren’t guilting her into it,” Suga ended the advice session with his wise words.

“Okay okay, this helps. Thanks guys. I have a lot to think about now.”

———

My decision needed to happen in the next two weeks, and ever since I’d talked to Hoseok about it he seemed to have really amped up his boyfriending. We had done lots of little trips around Seoul, he was texting me compliments multiple times a day, and I had gotten presents from him almost every other day. I wasn’t complaining, but my favorite part was definitely what he had suggested we try in the practice rooms.

“Jagiya, I want to try some contemporary dance with you. I have seen you and Jimin dance and I would love to try. I get a little jealous when you two dance together, he gets to touch you and lift you with meaningful music and moves and I want to try to!”

I was more than happy to oblige and let him pick the song for us to choreograph together to. He picked a song by my favorite band, in fact the first band we ever danced to - The Arcadian Wild. And the song he chose was Roots, a song about putting down your roots with someone. This was clearly a calculated move but that didn’t mean I didn’t like it.

Choreographing with Hoseok to a song I loved with lyrics that fit what I wanted to do so much, put roots down with him, was really putting me over the edge with my decision. It became clearer with each dance session that this is what I really wanted. It didn’t really have much to do with being in Korea at all, it had everything to do with wanting to settle down in one place with one man. This man. Jung Hoseok.

I waited until our final choreography session to tell him, I had to give your decision to HYBE by the next day and I knew Hoseok was on pins and needles about my decision though he hadn’t been asking me about it at all.

But during this dance session as we lifted and twirled and wound our bodies around each other it almost felt like he already knew. I was dancing differently and he could feel it. He could feel my conviction, just like he could see my confession of love to him in a previous dance session months ago. But this time he knew it was about him.

Before the song had even fully ended in the middle of our ending pose, face to face with our palms together, Hoseok smiled, linked his fingers with mine and breathed out “You’re staying aren’t you?”

Tears came to my eyes, preventing me from answering him with words, I could only nod.

He quickly let go of my hands, linked his hands around my back, picked me up and swung me around while screaming “Yaaaaaahhhh!!!!!”

Hoseok finally put you down, took your face in his hands, wiped away your tears of happiness and kissed you. “I love you jagiya, I can’t want to put down roots with you here.”

—————-

It had been a year since you made your decision to stay in Korea. Another amazing year with Hoseok as a better boyfriend than you could ever imagine. I had visited my family a couple of times with him and they loved him just as much as I did. Seeing him with my siblings and parents and nieces and nephews made you me just love him even more.

Our anniversary was coming up and my whole family was coming to Korea to visit for the first time. I was extremely excited, but also nervous. It felt like Hoseok was planning something and I desperately wanted it to be a proposal. We had been talking about marriage and it was starting to look like he had hit a point in his career where he could get married without it being disastrous for him or BTS.

“Are you ready for tonight my love?” Hoseok asked as soon as you woke up and turned over to face him. It looked like he had been waiting for you to wake up.

“I am so ready, I can’t wait for my whole family to be here with us. And your family! And your members! It’s going to be a great party, thank you for planning it.”

“Of course jagiya, you know I love planning parties. And I have some surprises for you, so be ready for that,” he said with that telltale and heart melting twinkle in his eye.

It was hard to go through the rest of the day knowing that something so exciting would be happening that night. I tried not to assume it was a proposal but what else could it be?

‘Even if it’s just a fun party with your family and his family together and all his members it will be great. I’ll be happy even without a proposal’ I keep trying to convince myself.

The time finally arrived for you to go to the party. It was in the HYBE building and Hoseok was already there setting everything up, he wanted almost everything about the party to be a surprise and and had sent a car to bring you there.

The car that arrived was in fact a limousine and was filled with your family already. You hugged and chatted and it helped to have them there to pass the time it took to get to HYBE.

“I’m so excited for tonight Y/N, you are so lucky to have found someone as wonderful as Hoseok,” my mom smiled at me.

“He almost seems like a part of the family already,” my dad winked.

If that wasn’t a hint at a proposal I don’t know what was.

I expected the party to be in one of the open rooms on the top floors, but we were directed to a small auditorium instead. Color me confused, a party in an auditorium? I quickly spotted Hoseok and walked over to him.

“Y/N! You’re here! You’re all here!” He gestured to my family and started giving everyone hugs.

“Hoseok I expected this would be in one of those open rooms, what are we doing in an auditorium?” I questioned him.

There were his eyes twinkling again, “You’ll see, go take your seat, I’ve labeled ours so you know where to sit,” he pointed to the middle of the auditorium where there was a small couch in front all of all auditorium seats labeled with our names. Of course it also contained a bouquet of roses and peonies (my favorite) and a present.

“Go open it,” Hoseok whispered in my ear.

I headed over to my seat as my family sat around me and opened the present. It was a gift certificate for a tattoo parlor with a note that said ‘So we can have something matching’. I’d told Hoseok that I’d always wanted to have my wedding ring tattooed on because I was terrible at wearing jewelry. Yet another hint at what the night had in store.

Soon Hoseok’s family and the other BTS members started arriving and it was time to start whatever this party was. Hoseok came onto the stage.

“I want to welcome everyone and thank you for coming, I know you were expecting a party, and we will have a party later, but first I wanted to invite a couple of Y/N’s favorite bands here to celebrate the fact that one year ago today she decided to stay here in Korea with me. One of the things I learned about Y/N early on is that BTS was not her first boy band, or even, unfortunately her favorite boy band. For months I’ve been working on coordinating in order to get her favorite boy band here tonight and amazingly everyone’s schedules aligned and I am very excited to bring to the stage the Jonas Brothers!”

I’m sorry the WHAT!? Shortly after Hoseok and I had started officially dating he found out that I had been wildly obsessed with the Jonas Brothers in college and though he had been a little disappointed that they held my heart more than BTS ever had, he came to terms with it and loved to tease me about it. But never in my wildest dreams did I think me confessing that to him would lead to him bringing them to Korea to perform for me.

Kevin, Joe,and Nick walked on the stage and I involuntarily screamed and then laughed at myself. Once Hoseok came back to his seat next to me I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and gave him a big kiss on the cheek. “You are unreal you know that?”

He pretended to scold me, “Shh! The Jonas Brothers are performing, I need to pay attention so I can finally figure out what they have that BTS doesn’t,” he finished his teasing with a wink while grabbing my hand and pulling it to his lap.

Of course they played all my favorites and of course they came down and gave me flowers and hugged me and Hoseok before they left the stage.

Hoseok hopped back up on the stage, “Now that our opening act has finished, it’s time for the main attraction.”

“Opening act!? Who could the Jonas Brothers open for? Who is bigger than the Jonas Brothers,” I genuinely responded to Hoseok then felt silly remembering all the other people in the room.

There was some laughter before Jimin responded “BTS!”

I turned around to see Jimin and the other members but seeing the shock on Suga’s face and seeing RM quick to shake his head no I realized Jimin was just teasing.

Well then who could it be?

When they finally walked out I realized it only could have been one artist. My favorite band, the first song we ever danced to, the song we danced to that convinced me to stay in Korea, a band that had been a soundtrack to so many of the high points of our relationship. The Arcadian Wild.

When Hoseok came back down to sit with me I was incredibly glad he had brought a couch in for us instead of the regular auditorium seating so I could cuddle right up to him. I didn’t care that our families were behind us and everyone could see. This music was too entwined with our relationship for me to not want to be as close as possible to him while we heard it live. He obliged and placed his arm firmly around me.

Neither of us moved until they announced their last song, Benediction. The first song we ever danced to.

“Do you want to dance?” Hoseok asked me, his voice shaking slightly.

“Yes,”I found it hard to control my emotions because it was so clear what was coming.

It felt like we were dancing on a cloud, I forgot all about everyone else in the room and only saw Hoseok as our eyes locked together. And then on my favorite line, a line about moving into eternity Hoseok pulled back and went down on one knee and pulled a box out of his pocket.

I know now, having watched the video back of Hoseok’s proposal, that everyone was cheering when he kneeled down. I heard none of it. I heard only him.

“Y/N, I can’t imagine my life without you. I had a good life before you, but my life since meeting you has been fuller than I knew it could be, happier, more meaningful. I know many people call me sunshine, but you are the light of my life, you are my sunshine. You have given me stability and comfort and friendship that I thought I wasn’t allowed to have as an idol. You make my life feel normal, and you know how much that means to me. Will you do me the honor of marrying me? Of waking up next to me for all eternity?”

“Yes Hoseok, I would love nothing more than to spend my eternity with you,” I answered with tears in my eyes.

After a few seconds of Hoseok putting the ring on my finger and us hugging ferociously I started to hear the crowd around us again cheering. Hoseok put me down and I looked around almost as if I hadn’t known anyone as there. Our families and Hoseok’s members began to move up from their seats to us to hug us and congratulate us. Eventually Hoseok moved us into a room much more fit for a party with food and drinks and music and plenty of open space to talk and dance.

The night finally wound down. By the time we went back to our place I had hugged everyone at least three times though Jimin had hugged me at least ten times before we finally left. I was happy and excited but also completely exhausted so I got into my pajamas as soon as we got back and snuggled into bed. It didn’t take long for Hoseok to join me and soon I was falling asleep with a smile on my face. Right before I fell asleep I felt a small kiss on my forehead.

“I can’t wait to marry you Y/N.”

---------------------------------Masterlist----------------------------------

#hoseok fluff #jhope fluff #hoseok imagine #jhope imagine #hoseok x reader #jhope x reader #hoseok x y/n #hoseok x you #jhope x you

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die-rosastrasse · 2 years

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Sorry to rant to you, but I feel that living romantically is impossible in America. The land doesn’t exude the same energy as Europe (which I’ve been fortunate to visit several times). But visiting Europe has never been enough; I need to live there in order to experience my soul in all its fullness. I feel more French than I do American and I feel more like myself when I express myself in French rather than English.

Your life is my dream life, and how I really feel inside. I’ve always been a tormented romantic spirit, and as a woman in her early twenties I feel that I don’t have the means yet to make the move overseas. I try expressing romance through the clothes I wear, the literature I consume, my hobbies (knitting and writing poetry), soaking in tea and cloudy days. But it is all in vain; France and Europe runs through my blood and haunts me whenever I’m not there. What do you recommend that I do?

This is a difficult, yet interesting question! I'm not sure I have the right answer or if it exists at all. I understand your feeling, I believe we are quite similar inside with the quest for beauty, history and a romantic life. I'm not going to lecture you about the dangers of romanticizing certain things or places - I believe it's one of the nicest forms of delusion. If you won't let life crush this image, romanticizing might even help ignore the worse parts, enhance the better parts, and appreciate what fate has given you. I know I tend to romanticize the hell out of my city and Europe, so it's not my place to judge or tell you to wake up. Similarly, I'm not going to explain to you the darker side of this continent, like the grayness, blocks of flats, cigarette smoke, trash. I mean, they are there, but firstly, you've already been here multiple times so you're aware of them, and secondly, no place is perfect and I'll take whatever dirty city here over the mess of US, which we all know is full of its own flaws. I'm a firm believer that we might be born with a certain place being destined for us. Some people long for different countries and climates and ways of life, and hopefully they find their true home, whether it's a small island in the Pacific or top of a skyscraper in Tokio. It's part of self discovery to look for this place and eventually move there, but I know that it can be a privilege, unattainable for some. I studied in a department of foreign languages, so I've known a lot of people who felt their heart belonging in another country. And that made me think - you might try studying in Europe if you ever have the chance. It's usually free, minus the cost of living, and I don't know your financial situation, but it might be necessary to get a job on the side. I know it might be hard, but consider this as an option for one day. Studying is supposed to be fun and opens many door like exchanges, internships, group projects, not to mention learning of the language and meeting people. Your heart seems to know what it wants, so you'll always be on the right path. I hope that wherever life puts you, you'll love it and be able to keep the beautiful romantic spirit that you have. I wish you luck! ❤️

#ask #long post

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thomascarterpd · 2 months

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How to Move to New Zealand from Australia

Have you ever wondered about how to move to New Zealand from Australia, but feel like you are lacking some of the practical information to make the transition across the Tasman Sea? While Australia and New Zealand may be close to each other geographically, there is still a lot to consider and plan for when making this move, even if you have the help of international removalists.

At Overseas Packers & Shippers, we are an international moving company that loves helping Australians start a new life in the beautiful country of New Zealand. In this guide, we are going to explore some of the practical steps you can take to prepare for moving to the land of the long white cloud.

Obtaining Visas and Residency Permits

When moving to New Zealand from Australia, it’s important to have a grasp over any visa or residency permit requirements you need to fulfil before you can live, work or study in the country. The good news is that Australian citizens do not require a visa to enter and live in New Zealand given the close relationship between the two nations. Instead, you will be granted a resident visa when you arrive in New Zealand — so long as you meet the required health and character conditions.

If you are not an Australian citizen, then you will need to apply for either a work, study, or residency visa. The eligibility criteria for each of these differs, so make sure you thoroughly research what is required of you and give yourself plenty of time for your application to be processed prior to your move.

Understanding Immigration Requirements for Moving to New Zealand

Moving from Australia to New Zealand thankfully doesn’t pose too many headaches given the close nature between the two countries. In fact, Australian citizens only need to apply for an Australian Resident Visa once they arrive in the country. There aren’t any other immigration requirements beyond this.

So, as long as you don’t have a criminal record that could label you as a security threat in New Zealand, entering the country as an Australian citizen is quite simple and straightforward.

Financial Responsibilities

When relocating from Australia to New Zealand, you’ll encounter several financial responsibilities. Firstly, you’ll need to open a new bank account in New Zealand, as your Australian account may not be practical for local transactions. Ensure you provide the necessary documentation and identification to facilitate this process.

Next, consider currency exchange. The Australian Dollar (AUD) differs from the New Zealand Dollar (NZD). It’s advisable to convert your funds at favourable rates to avoid exchange rate losses. Overseas Packers & Shippers offers a currency exchange service as a convenient add-on to help facilitate this.

You should be prepared for potential tax implications, such as capital gains tax on assets. Consulting a financial advisor can help navigate these financial responsibilities smoothly during your move.

Read the full article to know more about How to Move to New Zealand from Australia

#overseaspackersandshippers #movingtoNZfromAustraliashippingcontainer #movingcompaniesaustraliatonz

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midasbookclub · 5 months

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I Capture The Castle from Dodie Smith

Did you know that the author of “101 Dalmatians wrote other great books as well? She did, and one of them is the book “I capture the castle”, written in the year 1948. It tells the story of 17-year old Cassandra Mortmain, who lives together with her family in an old castle in the beautiful countryside of England.

Cassandra shares her life at the castle with her father, stepmother Topaz, sister Rose, brother Thomas and help Stephen. She describes it as being romantic and blissful, when in reality they are more than poor. The father is the author of one successful book; but he stopped writing afterwards.

Rose and her sister don’t believe in being a financial help for the family, but before all hope is lost two handsome American brothers, Simon and Neil, move in in the estate up the hill …

Cassandra tells us about her first love, her first actual problems and the experience of growing up in a beautiful country castle.

Sitting in the kitchen sink, she starts to capture the characters In her notebooks, the love of Simon to her sister and the beauty of the castle and its surrounding lands, being quiet and peaceful. Cassandra lives together with her parents, Topaz and James, her siblings Rose and Thomas and their former handyman Stephen, who now works at a farm to bring the family their only income. She describes the trouble of each person, how Stephen is in love with Cassandra, but never thinks he is good enough for her, as he is not born to be a gentleman, how Cassandra loves Simon, who only has eyes for Rose and how Rose and Neil secretly love each other but have a long time finding the courage in admitting though. Meanwhile, Simon and Rose engage themselves and Rose gets to spend plenty of money and go to theaters, which makes her talk arrogantly about others.

Cassandra fancies Simon while turning to Stephen for help. Desperate for a way to direct her passion and find a place in life, she even starts to go to church, but soon stops again. Throughout the book, she tries to make sense of her feelings and a way to engage life. Together with her brother Thomas, they lock up James in the old prison, until he starts writing for his new book, which brings happiness as well as independence to the family.

In the end, everybody is able to be truthful to themselves: Neil and Rose get married, Cassandra does not go overseas with Simon but finds peace with herself and even sealing up her journals to demonstrate to face the future alone. Stephen acknowledges his feelings to Cassandra are one-sided and moves out of the castle and James gets a new book contract, making him and Topaz happy.

Our opinion:

Cassandra is charming, there is no denying that. But she also comes off as a girl that only ever has read books about life and love, without ever experiencing it. Nonetheless, we are astonished, how clear she was able to capture her world, her feelings and her castle.

Stephen is a big contrast to the family, working for what he wants in life (Cassandra). We are happy he did not fall into despair after being rejected by Cassandra, but was able to move on with his life quickly.

The book had long passages without big changes, but it was very nice how the problems of each character where stated relatively at the beginning of the book and the happy conclusion to this rather complex setting for a countryside castle at the end.

#dodie smith #books #book review

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alissacorreadelrosario · 1 year

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Go to Armenia and step outside of your comfort zone!

There's no doubt that Armenia has so many spectacular views!

Take a trip to Armenia and be mesmerized in its beauty.

I love the season of autumn because whenever the autumn leaves fall, this season reminds me that change can be amazing and beautiful. Embrace change and be the best version of yourself that you can offer to the world.

Dream vacation, budget friendly, easy to travel by doing do it yourself and last but not the least, cheap ---that's how I can describe my vacation in Armenia last November 2022.

If you've been to Armenia you will know how amazing it was! If not, this is your sign to visit this country. I love this country! I know you will too!

Step outside your comfort zone, too!

They say that the best way to know a country is by eating their local delicacies. That's what I did during my visit, Armenian food trip!

I don't want to be stuck in the Philippines. I want to see the world and create memories. The world is so beautiful and I want to see it in my naked eyes. I am not saying leave your home country, move somewhere and work there, we all know this is not an option for everyone but living in our comfort zone is something we all can work on.

Life is so beautiful to explore, many times we won't achieve our dreams but we learn from every challenge we face to progress better. I believe that everything that we experience is a part of the process, you choose what stories you want to tell somebody --- you try new things again and again despite failing or just doing one thing that made you unhappy? You have the option, make sure to choose wisely while trusting the process of life.

After almost two years of in a lockdown pandemic here in the Philippines I really feel that there's something missing in my life. When international travel is back and there is no more restrictions I just feel that I need to navigate my life by taking a leap of faith and doing what I love the most.

Story time about my trip to Armenia:

Passport control, immigration and luggage check From Georgia, there's a Georgia to Armenia Border Control if you want to explore Armenia. In the Schengen area, there's no border checkpoint if you want to enter other European countries. However, Georgia and Armenia are different because you need to show your passport and visa upon entering. You also need to bring your luggage in the area because they need to scan your belongings upon entering. It's a little bit hassle. There's nothing to worry. The immigration officer is so kind. The lady immigration officer just asked me: "Are you dancing?" Haha! Funny, right? The immigration officer is so friendly and not so serious, unlike here in the Philippines. For Filipino passport holders, holder of Multiple Entry Schengen Visa can enter around Armenia during the date of visa validity of your Schengen visa. Again, don't loose hope if you don't have Schengen visa because you can fill up the form online just to get an electronic visa to experience the beauty of Armenia. You just need to pay a fee for this e-visa.

Beautiful Yerevan, Armenia The capital of Armenia which is Yerevan is so beautiful. I enjoyed my visit since I saw a dental clinic here. I love trip abroad and I love looking around for some dental clinics. I love dentistry and sometimes I imagine myself working overseas. That's why sometimes I check international dental clinic when I am in a vacation just to observe. I am still not sure if that is God's will but let's pray that God will lead me in the right path. However, I know that if I want to work abroad I still need to get another license. My license to practice is only valid here in the Philippines. I am still young so I am not closing doors if there is an opportunity and if I have other calling in other place of the world, or in other place here in the Philippines whether it will be in Luzon, Visayas or Mindanao.

Tumanyan's Crepes & Waffles Looking for a budget friendly crepes and waffles??? Please, go to Tumanyan's crepe in Yerevan, Armenia. There are lots of varieties and flavors to choose from.

Goght, Armenia Finding peace and serenity here in Goght and appreciating the beauty of nature.

Ararat, Armenia The lady in the photo below offered free Armenian foods. She is so kind. I didn't know that I can also experience free taste around Armenia. I did experience free taste during my leisure travel in Macau, China and Osaka, Japan. I tell you that free taste will make your stomach full. Haha! Thank you so much to the Armenian lady. If you will visit Armenia, please help her by buying some of the things she sell. I did buy something as a pasalubong or souvenir for my family.

Upper Azat Valley and Geghard Monastery Christians can pray here inside the orthodox church. I respect other religion as a Catholic and I still say my prayers and petition inside the monastery.

Old Houses in Dilijan, Armenia I am amazed that they preserved this heritage that will tell the culture of the Armenians. These old houses are beautifully made with a mixture of cement and woods.

Armenia's unique souvenirs I brought home one Armenian painting and a doll wearing the national costume of Armenia. The people are so talented because the items that they sell are handmade. Please help their community by buying some goods during your visit.

Lake Sevan You need to climb the stairs and I tell you that the view is worthy. The Lake Sevan is so clear and you will find an orthodox church when you reached the top.

One of the things that I've realized is traveling is not a matter of money. Traveling is a matter of courage and having self confidence that you can do it. That's why I would continue exploring and this path serves as my road towards my self-discovery and self-growth. I need to rest and take a breath sometimes and international travel really helps to provide consistency in my life.

Take small steps towards the fear that you want to overcome.

Explore the world and add Armenia in your bucket list. Be amazed to see the spectacular Caucasian mountains and experience the hospitality of the Armenian people.

Love lots, A💞

#Armenia #ExploreArmenia #Eurasia #Yerevan #Goght #Ararat #Dilijan

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thebutterflymoment2104 · 1 year

Text

Home

“A house is made of brick and stone, a home is made of love alone.”

This quote has been dancing around my head a lot these past few days. These past challenging, fulfilling, life changing few days I should say. My family and I have embarked on a once in a life time adventure. The key part to that last sentence was “my family”,.

My husband and I packed up our first home that we lived in together, that housed our dog and all her shedded hair in which it became the place we brought our first born child home to. All of our belongings got put into boxes, which then got put into wooden crates and then drove off in a moving truck to be shipped overseas. We were left with 5 suitcases, 2 backpacks, a lot of memories and fear mixed with excitement for the unknowns ahead. We boarded our international flight with our one way tickets, questioning why we made this decision but also thanking each other for making it this far. In that moment it felt like we already did the hard part,. We experienced the tearful airport goodbyes with the tightest hugs I’ve ever given or received. We survived the most awkward shuffle into the airport with far too many bags for 2 adults with a baby to wrangle. The anticipation was over and we were on our way.

I’m skipping over the living in a hotel phase, because honestly that will add nothing to the meaning here. Let’s fast forward to the finally nailing down a house in our new country and navigating the trials and tribulations along the way. It’s a beautiful house, but certainly nothing like the one we left behind. This one has 3 floors in comparison to the 1 in our old house. This one’s got carpeted floors and a nice grassy garden,. Different light switches, outlets, appliances. You know, just as you would expect moving to a foreign country. It is empty, as our belongings are still in those crates being shipped across the ocean. We have baby blankets in the living room we use as a place to lounge. We have a strangers air mattress to sleep on at night and very limited kitchen essentials. You may think I am insane for agreeing to do this. Honestly, I have questioned my sanity during the process as well. You may wonder how in the world we are living with a 6 month old with no furniture. YET., it already feels like home. You probably don’t believe me, but here is why you should:

Home is getting woke up with tiny hands on my face and up my nose.

Home is the sense of completeness when snuggling just a little closer on our noisy air mattress.

Home is working as a team to lug groceries home from the market.

Home is splashing together in the bath tub with squeals of delight.

Home is setting up much needed coffee for each other in the mornings.

Home is using an Amazon box for a toy box.

Home is being together and tackling everything as a unit.

“Home is made of love alone.”

I thought I knew this before. Now I know that I know this. The love between the 3 of us has only become stronger after moving houses. It still fills this house from wall to wall, up all the stairs and out into the garden.

I can’t express how blessed I feel to have a home no matter where we end up.

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abodevera · 2 years

Photo

Guess what? Not all dreams do come true!

—2019 and the memory still feel like it was yesterday. The first time I traveled overseas was with my best friends from Cebu, it was just random talks, and the next thing we knew we were already in Bangkok hopping from one bar to another and walking for hours trying to figure our way in the city. And, it was also the beginning of my journey toward living a life as an ex-pat.

One thing I know for sure and the feeling hasn’t changed is that I wanted to find that place where I can finally say “this is it” - now, I’m trying to recall my track and answer the question, is it home that I’m looking for or I’m just trying to escape from my reality. Either way, I know for a fact that I don’t regret every single step I take with me on this journey. I must go on until I can finally say “I’m made it!”

The first country I traveled to alone was Singapore. It took me a lot of courage and risk to make the decision of leaving Cebu City. I have been applying for jobs bound for Singapore for a month or 2 until I finally got a call. The company I applied for mostly was in the fashion industry, particularly in retail. I remember that when I was in college I never dreamt of working in any industry other than fashion retail. You might probably be thinking why? To be honest I just love the idea of connecting with customers and giving fashion advice to them.

Fast forward, I was in Singapore exploring the beautiful and vibrant city with my 2 favorite cousins. It was amazing and overwhelming. On my first day, I was already picturing myself working in one of those luxury brand outlets in Marina Bay.

After a couple of days, my agency called me and asked me to come to the store to discuss the job. The feeling was over the top and when I arrived there, it felt like how I imagined it, the luxury items, the smell of expensive garments and perfumes, and the people were just too fancy and classy. I feel like the kid inside me was just on cloud 9, until the agent I was working with told me that the post was moved to Hongkong and they have to move me there but at my own expense and they will refund it after 3 months. I was distraught and shocked, I have spent so much for this already and everything changed.

Guess what? Not all dreams do come true! Hahahaha! I was broke, I can’t afford the plane ticket to Hongkong, pay for a hotel or house, and I don’t know anyone there. I mean it was my first time trying my luck abroad and I was not ready for other rushed decisions. I was just lucky enough that I had my cousins with me in Singapore.

So I ended up staying for almost a month in a hostel, exploring the city, meeting new awesome people which whom I am still friends now, and once my visa was almost expired I moved to Malaysia and lived with my mom for 2 days. And, that’s where it all started.

You see, it doesn’t mean your dreams didn’t come true, it will be the end of everything. Absolutely not! It means that there is still something big awaits for you out there, you just have to be brave enough to take the step and summon all your courage to take that risk, that mistake, and learn from all of it.

The world is your beacon. Don’t settle for one rejection or abrupt change. You make sure you control your narrative, it’s your life and the only thing that you need to do is to keep in mind that no matter what happens, you always need to GOT YOU! Because no one is gonna save you BUT YOU!

So good luck, Good riddance and God bless you!

See you somewhere, May our path cross someday.

#singapore #singaporestories #notalldreamscometrue #singaporeaesthetics #throwback2019 #dreambig #rejection #beginning #build yourself

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onlyswan · 3 years

Text

gold rush | jjk

→ pairing: jungkook x f!reader

→ genre: fluff

→ warnings: mention of sex

→ word count: 2.6k

↳ gold rush | love rush | sugar rush | adrenaline rush | zest rush

summary: what must it be like to grow up that beautiful? with your falling into place like dominos.

note: i think i was just smiling a lot while writing tbh. no i didn’t cry bc i want this to happen to me definitely not !!!! thank you for the love so far i’m :] i jus get the most random bursts of inspiration to write and jungkook is my muse so. talk to me in the asks if you wanna :D

---

you are sat on the last train, reading a book you’ve read six times and listening to cigarettes after sex with your headphones on. how unhinged must you be to find comfort in norwegian wood by haruki murakami to read it for the second time this month? well, that’s a conversation for another time.

you bathe in the tranquility that enveloped you. it’s nice to live in moments like this. it’s so nice you can cry. ever since you were a child, your family has instilled in you that you must dream big. and that you did. there is no other choice but to do so. of course, just like many other people, you dream of a high paying job. you want to move to a big city overseas (mostly to run away from every single person in this country who unfortunately knows that you exist). you want a big space you can decorate according to your taste and style. you want a car you can drive around whenever you just feel like it. they sound simple, but not as simple to achieve. not when you came from where you were from. it’s exhausting to think about the future. hell, it makes you fucking sick to your stomach. the number of times you’ve been asked the question ‘where do you see yourself five or ten years from now?’ and the first image that came into mind was you dying of hypothermia under a bridge. you shiver at the thought.

and so, in your free time, you genuinely enjoy doing stupidly domestic things. you find fascination in the most trivial things. you yearn to discover the little wonders of life. you ride the last train and read your depressing little book and listen to your hopeless songs. you put aside your responsibility to live fiercely for a little while. during these times, you find yourself thinking about how small you truly are. there are seven billion people in the world. there are about a hundred billion planets in the milky way. for the love of god, 1.3 million earths can fit in the sun. and then you arrive to the conclusion that your problems in life are really fucking stupid. your worries get alleviated for a short while. i mean, if you just forget that there are, once again, seven billion people in this godforsaken planet you are stuck in and that human beings can be such monsters.

you don’t even realize you’ve been spacing out until the train doors open and a man takes a seat right in front of you. jesus christ. a beautiful, gorgeous, stunning? man. he has you captivated right away. you’re quite sure you have never seen a person this damn attractive. he is in all black oversized outfit, his black chunky boots also catching your attention. what are the lengths i would go to just to steal those shoes?

he is in a small bun but some strands of hair still dangle over his wide doe eyes, his pink lips slightly open as he is eating ice cream held by his tattooed hand, a letter on each knuckles, a few other symbols, and a heart; the sleeve of his hoodie slightly sliding down giving you a peak of more ink adorning his arm, and the other casually scrolling through his phone.

he seems to be highly engrossed in whatever conversation he is having. his eyebrows slightly furrow, lips tightly pursing occasionally showing his dimple. despite having read countless of books, right at this moment, you can’t think of any word that would do him justice. dear god, you took your time on him, didn’t you? what a lucky, gifted man.

then it registers that you’ve been unabashedly checking him out ever since he stepped in the train. you quickly bring back your attention to your book, eyes scanning over the familiar words but barely registering anything that’s happening. wait, naoko wrote toru a letter, right? why the fuck does he have a bottled firefly right now? you don’t know how to act around attractive people and it shows. for the next few minutes, you casually look up to him every now and then. he already reached the tip of the cone. at some point he takes out an ipad from his, you guessed it, black backpack, and started drawing using a digital pen. it appears he likes using colors a lot in his art, which you find endearing. a gifted man, indeed. he gets off the train on the next stop.

~*~

two nights later, here you two are again. facing each other as you read a murakami book. something you haven’t read yet this time. yes, you are still listening to cigarettes after sex. sue me!

he’s wearing a white shirt tucked in his ripped denim jeans, revealing his small waist, and black button up long sleeves rolled up until below his elbow. the phrases ‘rather be dead than cool’ and ‘make hay while the sun shines’ tattooed on his skin, crossed across each other, connected by the letter ‘t’. below them is a skeleton rock hand sign. other ones you can figure out are the g clef, an eye with red pupil, and a tiger flower (?). you are pretty sure your eyes are practically gleaming with admiration as you look at them, having been wanting to get some yourself but never having the courage to go through the process all alone. you desperately want them in places that usually hurt the most and well . . .

he’s drawing again, legs crossed with his slightly tilted up ipad resting on his bare knee. you don’t miss the lollipop poking out of his cheek, the white stick between his pretty pink lips. it looks like he gets lost in his own little world when working on something, uncaring of everything else. he tucks his hair behind his ear, and you finally notice his multiple piercings. holy fucking shit. i can cry right now. dear god, what exactly did you pour in this man to be this awesome? do i want to be him or kiss him? you shake your head in attempt to shoo away your thoughts. this is embarrassing, even for you. you go back to reading your silly little book, unaware of the dark brown eyes now looking at you. his eyes crinkle with a bunny smile, before returning to his own work.

~*~

you’ve been on the last train four nights in a row, pathetically waiting for the boy that’s been plaguing your mind for the past week. he never showed up. you grew sadder each train ride. is that it? am i never gonna see him again? maybe i should’ve talked to him. but then again, i don’t trust myself to function as a normal person in front of someone clearly sculpted and handcrafted by the greek gods themselves. another public transportation crush you will never cross paths with again. you sigh exasperatedly, flicking through the pages of the book you haven’t finished reading yet. i can’t believe this! waiting hopelessly. five nights. for a man. what have you become? you’re better than this . . . right?

wrong.

the train doors open to reveal the person you’ve been looking forward to seeing again. he takes the usual spot in front of you, a half-eaten bar of snickers held by his tattooed hand. he looks dashing, as usual. it pisses you off how you’re not pissed off anymore. he clearly maintains a dark persona, but he exudes a comforting energy. maybe that’s just you. he’s on his phone again, smiling to himself as he types. he has such a pretty and adorable smile. okay, i would really like to kiss him. you bite your lip to stop smiling yourself.

and then it happens. he suddenly looks up from his phone and makes eye contact with you. your eyes widen in surprise. you swiftly look down on your book after you decided it’s best to just act oblivious, but the universe isn’t exactly on your side. your headphones make impact with the floor, the sound startling you. the few passengers even turn their heads towards you. oh my fucking god, why? why me? can the ground please just swallow me whole and k!ll me? you close your eyes shut. maybe if i close my eyes, it will turn out that this is just a stupid dream.

but his adorable laugh makes you open them again. your dumb ass just has to see how pretty he looks when he laughs. if only you were in a whole different situation, one that doesn’t involve embarrassment that makes you want to end it all, you would laugh along with him. but you only muster a shy smile as you scratch at the back of your head. you look down at your headphones awkwardly, reaching down to pick them up but he beat you to it. with a sly grin, he wears them and sits next to you. you can practically hear your heartbeat. fuck, it might just jump out of your chest. he smells really good. not too overwhelming, like the ones that make your nose itch. it’s sweet and intoxicating. vanilla? it definitely suits him. it makes you swoon.

“wow, i love this song.” he says enthusiastically, a smile still on his lips. it’s your first time hearing his voice. it’s like dripping with honey. he sounds warm and bright. sounds like someone you wouldn’t mind listening to for the rest of your life. “apocalypse by cigarettes after sex, if i’m not mistaken. am i?” he asks, taking off your headphones.

you shake your head with a light laugh. “you’re right,”

“do you listen to them a lot?”

“well, yeah.” you answer sheepishly. “i think they’re perfect to listen to when i’m reading. their music is calming and intimate.”

your breath hitches when he brings the headphones around your neck. “i agree. takes you on a whole another dimension. it’s awesome,” the nerve of this man to talk so damn casually as if he’s not making butterflies erupt in your stomach. seeing his face up close makes you realize he’s even more beautiful than you initially thought. and you thought he was handcrafted by the greek gods. . . maybe he is a greek god?!

“i’m jungkook, by the way. jeon jungkook,”

okay, perhaps not. i read way too much.

~*~

you look up and take in the afterglow of your boyfriend, still in daze from the incredible sex you had. the moonlight makes his eyes sparkle, and you thank yourself for your obsession with having to see the night sky every night that you had to make sure your window has a view of it. you are laying on his chest, ear over his pounding heart. it still makes you feel giddy, knowing you have the same effect on him as he has on you. it’s been almost a year since he sat in front of you at the train, eight months since you started to officially date. to this day, he still teases you about being whipped for him from that very first night. of course, you both know he’s right. you were pretty straightforward about your feelings, never kept it a secret. but that doesn’t mean you will surrender to his relentless attempts of making you confess how you shamelessly drank him in.

jungkook makes you happy, that’s for sure, though. that, you have no problem letting him know. he’s the best thing to ever happen to you, in a very long time. he loves drawing you and claims you as his muse. he loves washing your hair. he is constantly trying out new dishes to satisfy your picky but demanding taste buds. he picks up the books you leave scattered all over his place and yours because one time you tripped over one of them and he thought you died. he broke down three months ago and built you a shelf. he sits through your horror film choices that he always end up liking. he sings you to sleep.

but also, he’s one of the most stubborn person you’ve ever met. he teases you a lot. he used to tickle you, until you accidentally kicked his nuts trying to get away. he hogs most of the space of the bed. his alarm makes you want to lose your sense of hearing. he, in his all black outfits, never shuts up about the heat in the summer. he takes longer to do his hair. he spends a lot of time at the gym and he’s gotten even bigger. it’s infuriating. it’s infuriating how easily you give into him.

moving on. . . before, you settled with making yourself feel small in order to give yourself a reason to escape. claiming that nothing matters, when the truth is, it all meant so much to you they were destroying you. but jungkook. oh, jungkook. he makes you feel like you are his world. with him by your side, you are invincible. it doesn’t mean the world can no longer hurt you, but you’re not scared to get hurt anymore. except at times, it gets terrifying. the intensity of emotions he makes you feel is terrifying. you trust him, though. after all, he made you embrace all aspects of life, the good and the bad. he made you embrace yourself, the pretty and the ugly. maybe being human isn’t all that bad.

~*~

jungkook looks down at the woman that had him utterly enamored since the moment he laid his eyes on her. a fact he’s been covering by turning the tables on you. you were just so cute and pretty, reading books one of his best friends also loves, with your headphones blasting his favorite songs. and right now, you look absolutely divine. hair blown out on your naked back, lips swollen from all the biting and kissing, eyes glassy and drooping from tiredness and bliss. he wants to capture this image of your skin shining from the moonlight, so he can draw every single detail later on. but you’re way too comfortable on top of him, he feels bad about disturbing you. he smiles softly, stroking your cheek with his thumb, the other at your hair. you just don’t know how strikingly gorgeous you are. the more he learned about you, the deeper you reeled him in. he is whipped. you make him smile. all the time. his cheeks always hurt and at some point, he started to worry about wrinkles.

“jungkook?”

“hmmm?” he hums, planting a kiss on your forehead.

“you are so-“

he cuts you off. “pretty?”

“can you stop finishing my sentences for me?” you whine, hitting his toned chest. if anything, you probably only hurt your palm.

“but, baby, that’s what true couples do!”

“are you calling our relationship fake, jeon jungkook?”

his wince makes your victory known. “of course not, baby. we’re the realest as real gets.” that don’t even make sense in your head, so you just mutter an ‘okay’ since you’re too beat to argue with your pretty, stupid boyfriend. oh, i am beat, alright.

“are you sleepy?” he asks a moment later.

“very,” you yawn, another thing he finds so cute. “after what you did to me? very sleepy,”

he laughs loudly at your remark, making you giggle, too. “you liked all the things i did though,”

“yeah, i loved them a lot.”

he wraps his arm around your waist with his hand still holding your face. he traces your eyebrows, down to the bridge of your nose, and then your lips. your lips, sweeter than anything he has ever tasted, and he is addicted. his gentle touches send shivers down your spine. you close your eyes to savor the solace you find in his acts of affection.

“your lips, my lips,” he sings softly, bringing himself closer to you. his teeth tugs at your bottom lip before swiping his tongue over it, then finally kissing you properly. he let his lips linger, and quite frankly, he doesn’t ever want to pull away. “apocalypse,”

#jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #jungkook drabble #jungkook fanfic #jungkook imagine #bts #jungkook x oc #jungkook x reader #bts fluff #jungkook oneshot #jungkook scenario #bts angst

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wkemeup · 3 years

Text

Sunrise (8)

summary: After an explosion takes his arm and his only sense of belonging, Bucky is content to live out the rest of his days in the hollow comfort of the dark. This is, until Sam drags him down to the local VA and he meets you. (Modern AU) pairings: bucky x reader chapter word count: 5.3k warnings: sweet happy beautiful bucky, a unpleasant reminder of the past, whiplash of emotion, the angst I warned you about 🧡 series masterlist / series playlist

Bucky wasn’t quite sure how to hold onto this feeling without suffocating it.

It had been nearly a year since he’d felt even an ounce of the relief like what washed through his body when you walked through the door. All it took was a single smile from across the room, the soft brush of your hair over your fingers as you nervously tucked it behind your ear, and he was gone.

Enough for his cheeks to ache from smiling. Enough for his stomach to twist and knot from laughter. Enough for the wrinkles by his eyes to draw long and pronounced— the physical embodiment of joy upon his face.

He wasn’t walking on eggshells, waiting for the carpet to be dragged out from under his feet, for the paralyzing darkness of an empty void to consume him whole. The shadows weren’t lingering in his wake, itching to clench their claws into his spine and drag him away from the one thing that finally drew light back into his life.

For the first time since he stepped back on American soil, Bucky Barnes was happy. Truly and honest to God, happy.

“So! What do you think?” your voice called to him, breaking the trance he’d been in.

“Hmm?” Bucky blinked a few times to adjust to his surroundings. You were laughing at him, a hand over your lips in an effort to muffle the sound. Behind you, a woman directed a pointed stare in your direction despite the busy chatter inside Luciana’s.

“The book, Bucky,” you grinned, tapping on the edge of the binding.

He glanced down. The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue sat propped in his right hand, the clip you’d given him the first day of book club nestled in at the center to keep the pages open. Truthfully, he hadn’t read a single word of it since he sat down with you an hour ago. His attention had been better kept watching how you tugged your lower lip between your teeth in concentration, how your eyes widened at a particularly suspenseful part of your chapter, how you clicked your nails against the coffee mug in perfect rhythm with the café music.

“It’s good,” he said, though you pouted at him.

“Bucky you’ve been on the same page for twenty minutes!”

Busted. He shrugged, a laugh in his breath.

“Guess there were better things to look at.”

Your lips parted for a second, caught off guard, before you settled back into your seat. Your hands wrung out in front of you, eyes darting down the floor. It wasn’t easy to make you flustered, but damn if it was Bucky’s favorite feeling in the world.

“Don’t insult my books like that, Barnes,” you teased, lingering smile upon your face.

“Wouldn’t call it an insult,” he said simply. “There’s not much that can hold a candle when you’re around.”

The stun didn’t leave your face for a few seconds. You stared at him, then glanced around the room nervously as if he’d said something incredibly intimate. He couldn’t remember the last time this came so easy to him – the flirting, the charm. It was something he’d thrived on before the war and now, it seemed you brought that side out of him again.

“You’re a charmer today,” you observed, laughing through the nervous energy. “What’s gotten into you?”

“Nothing.” Bucky shrugged, reaching across the table to break off a piece of your pastry and plopped it into his mouth. “I’m happy. Can I be happy?”

You nodded quickly, almost a little too enthusiastically, with a smile so wide on your face he wondered if it were possible for it to touch your ears.

“Yeah. Yeah, you can be happy.” The words left your lips almost breathlessly. You were looking at him like he was the goddamn sun and damn if that didn’t tug straight at his heart. “I like you happy.”

“I like me happy, too,” Bucky chuckled. He glanced up at the clock. “Come on, we should head over to the VA.”

You downed the rest of your coffee in a single chug and set the cup on the counter. Luciana waved at you as you moved towards the exit, Bucky in tow, and she winked at him as he passed by. He nodded, offering her a tight-lipped smile as he stepped out into the cool Autumn air. Your hand naturally slipped into his and you tugged him along the sidewalk.

“Promise me you’ll actually pay attention to Steve’s spiel instead of staring at me the whole time,” you teased him as you walked over the crosswalk, nudging his side.

Steve was giving a presentation at the VA for the open house; explaining the benefits, the groups, different opportunities, and the respite rooms. It was a big deal apparently and helped to bring a lot of former soldiers into the fold. It was one of your favorite days because there was usually an increase of members at book club for a few weeks after.

“No guarantees,” Bucky replied, face as even as he could manage it. That was, until you swatted his chest and he burst into laughter, drawing the attention of a group of teenagers who eyed him as they walked by. Their lingering stare meant nothing to him when he stood at your side.

When you reached the VA, you pushed open the door, considering his hand was otherwise occupied, and led him inside. There were dozens of people in the lobby, certainly more than he’d ever seen inside. Men and women were mingling around the tables, some sitting on the couches, with paper plates of cheese and crackers from the grocery store.

Tony stumbled by carrying about four boxes filled with cookies, barely keeping his balance.

“I could use a little help, kid!” he called, eyeing you as he frantically made his way to the kitchen.

“Coming, Tony!” You turned to Bucky, smile still present on your face as you ran a hand along his arm in comforting sweeps. “Will you be alright?”

“Yeah, I’m good. Go.”

Maybe if he looked close enough, he might have seen a well of pride on your face, but you didn’t give him the chance before you leaned up and pressed a kiss straight to his lips— no cares for the crowd in the room or the fact that Sam and Steve were lingering around the VA somewhere. Bucky couldn’t find it in himself to worry about the stares because, hell, maybe he wanted people to know you were the woman he had the privilege of kissing.

“Go,” Bucky said again, pulling away from you reluctantly as a clanging could be heard from the kitchen, followed by an aggravated moan which could have only belonged to Tony Stark. You pouted, stealing one last kiss before bolting down the hall and out of sight.

Bucky spent a few extra seconds staring down the end of the empty hallway before he turned back to the room. The crowd didn’t bother him as much as it might have a few months earlier. He didn’t feel the same rush of anxiety in his veins as he felt on busy streets, but it didn’t mean he was explicitly comfortable either.

So, he kept to the outskirts of the room, standing along the wall and observing quietly from the corners.

The event seemed to be going well. He’d spotted Steve mingling with a group of older guys with long white beards and biker jackets, laughing as they told him about their adventures biking cross country. Sam found his way over to the couch beside a few of the guests who had busied themselves with the food instead and even found a way to get them talking to one another. Bucky kept his hand pressed into his pocket, a semblance of a smile on his face as he watched Sam pick a chip of the plate of the woman he was talking to without reservation.

It was a good place. A respite. Just like Sam had told him it would be. Bucky found a sense of normalcy in this building he couldn’t have hoped to find out in the real world alone— a belonging – and he knew a lot of that had to do with you.

He was just about to head down to the kitchen to see if you needed any help when he heard a voice that ran like ice through his veins. What it had said was indistinguishable, but Bucky could recognize the thick grovel of the tone almost anywhere. Slowly, he glanced over his shoulder, trying to remain as small as possible, as he spotted Jack Rollins emerging from the entrance.

With slicked jet-black hair, hardened angular lines upon his face, and a permanent scowl etching down on his features, Jack Rollins was not a man Bucky ever wanted to see again. He spoke with the two men in his wake, gesturing to a woman who was standing quietly by herself, reading the flyers on the bulletin board, as if he were stalking prey.

Bucky’s heart was thunderous as he took a step back. His black slammed against the wall, catching the breath in his lungs. His fingertips brushed over the chill of the pealing wallpaper, trying to find his grounding before Rollins noticed he was there. But luck was never so kind to him.

It only took one scan of the room before Rollin’s eyes landed on Bucky. He stilled, just as surprised to see him, but then, something dark twisted upon his features.

“Sergeant Barnes!” he called over the crowd, a jeering sort of laugh in his voice.

Bucky gritted his teeth, forcing himself to meet Rollins in the eye. “Jack.”

“Been over a year, man. How you been?” Rollins was conversational only in statement. His tone was near threatening, his men following behind him like a shadow. Dark eyes trailed down along the empty sleeve on Bucky’s side, a smile rising on his face.

Bucky tried to pretend as though he didn’t notice. “Recovering. You?”

“Yeah, I bet you are.” Rollins chuckled. Then, he puffed his chest up. “I’ve been working for the private sector.”

That didn’t surprise him. Rollins always had an affinity for the darkest parts of the job overseas. He took too much pleasure in the use of his weapon, paid no mind to the destruction left behind in his wake. Rollins was exactly the sort of man the military hoped to produce; follow chain of command without question, find purpose in your mission, execute without remorse. Seemed he found more of the same when he returned home. Only this time for a bigger paycheck.

Bucky could still picture him dressed in army camouflage with the weight of near forty pounds of combat gear on his back, finger always on the trigger. It felt a bit like that now, Bucky realized, as Rollins narrowed his eyes as if he were going in for the kill.

“You know, Barnes,” Rollins shrugged, exchanging a snide grin with his friends, “I’m a little surprised you’d even show your face around here after what happened. Takes guts.”

Bucky swallowed as though there weren’t blades in his throat. He tried not to let the hitch in his breath show or how his stomach dropped about ten feet below the surface. Instead, he pressed his lips together into a thin line, holding Rollins’ stare as if he were made of stone.

“You should leave,” Bucky said, his voice low enough to break gravel.

“Me?” Rollins mocked, laughing as he turned to his friends. Then, facing Bucky again as a darkness clouded over his features. “That's rich, coming from you.”

Bucky held his breath. He tried to draw on images of you sitting across from him at Luciana’s, how you smiled at him, how you made him feel like he didn’t carry such a heavy weight upon his back. He pictured you curled up next to him in your bed, imprints of the pillow on your cheeks and the covers pulled up tight to your chin. He imagined how your hand felt in his, how it brushed along his back, how your lips felt on his cheek, on his mouth.

But those pictures started to fade the longer Rollins stared at him, that devilish smirk upon his face as he ran a hand along his jawline, cracking his knuckles against the bone. Those comforting images of you sunk into the darkness, pulled from him somewhere far beyond where he could reach and suddenly, he felt like he was standing on a pillar at the center of the ocean, nothing but violent waves surrounding him for miles. Alone.

“I mean, what the fuck are you doing here, Barnes?” Rollins jeered, picking up a cookie from the table, inspecting it for a moment before he tossed it back on the platter. It crumbled on impact. “You think you even deserve to step foot in this building after what you did?”

“It didn’t go down like you think,” Bucky shot back, his voice uneven, wavering, as if he didn’t quite believe it himself.

He tried to repeat the words that Sam had worked to instill in him again and again for months after he came home. They never seemed to stick until the last few weeks but now – now they felt as far away as ever.

I did everything I could.

Some things are outside of my control.

It wasn’t my fault.

He wasn’t sure he believed that with Jack Rollins circling around him like a vulture, amused by the distress quickly forming against Bucky’s features.

From across the room, Sam stood up from his place on the couch, a hand gesturing over to Steve as he caught sight of Rollins. Bucky retreated in his stance, feeling as though Rollins was towering over him, his chest caving in. Rollin smirked, teeth bared and ready to strike.

With venom like precision, Rollins spat, “You’re the reason half our unit is dead, asshole.”

It hit like a sucker punch to the gut, made him stumbled back a few paces as if he were clocked in the chest. The initial blow only lasted for a few seconds before the overwhelming sense of shame seeped back into his veins, slipping through his blood like muddied waters and stealing away the careful, steady progress he’d made.

Then, a lingering acceptance as it cleared him to the surface.

A numbness took over, casting back to the shadows inside his mind. It was what he’d been waiting for since the day he’d stepped foot off that plane – for someone to confirm all the destruction and self-loathing he’d felt since that day.

Rollins was right.

I could have saved them.

I could have prevented all of it.

It was my fault.

He’d been foolish to convince himself otherwise.

“Hey!” Sam barked, jutting out in front of Bucky and shoving a hand to the middle of Rollin’s chest as he attempted to draw closer. “What the fuck is your problem, man?”

“My problem? My problem is you’re letting just about anyone walk through those doors!” Rollins shouted, pointing an accusatory finger at Bucky. “Your buddy here is responsible for eight of our own coming home in caskets!”

Bucky flinched, visibly recoiling as if something had burned him, and it seemed to be the reaction Rollins was looking for because a snide grin slid up along his cheeks.

Steve was suddenly on his left, a hand pressed to his shoulder. He was whispering something in his ear, but he couldn’t quite hear him. He could hardly make out what Sam was shouting as he attempted to push Rollins towards the door. A crowd was gathering – standing in watch to observe the shame of a soldier who should have burned in the desert with his friends.

“What’s going on?”

Bucky’s heart dropped at the sound of your voice as you appeared on his right. He didn’t know how long you’d been there or what you heard, but it was the first time he ever regretted allowing himself the luxury of your presence, of your warmth and kindness. You should have been an anchor beside him, but he could feel the rope slipping from his grip, letting him sink down into the ocean or float high into the clouds – somewhere far away from where you were.

You ran your hand along his arm, trying to thread an ounce of comfort back into his body, but he was rigid as stone. The touch was paralyzing. It was a reminder of his emptiness, of his ill attempt to be worthy of your affection. You seemed to notice as you stared up at him, worry filling your eyes.

“Ah, so you’ve got a girl now, too?” Rollins sneered towards Bucky, shoving Sam aside.

“Leave her out of this,” Bucky warned, his voice returning to him only in your defense. He stepped out in front of you, shielding you from Rollins’ gaze.

It only seemed to amuse him more. “Tell me, sweetheart. What’s it like? I mean, can he even get the job done? You wanna try being with a real man again?”

It was Sam that roared in response. “Watch your fucking mouth!”

Your hand rested on Bucky’s shoulder blades as if you were trying to ease him but he felt like he was on fire. Rollins shoved Sam aside to get a better look at you, a predator going in for the kill.

Rollins’ cold eyes stared directly into yours and Bucky felt his breathing stop.

“Did you know half of our unit died under his watch?”

Everything became white noise after that. Bucky didn’t dare turn to look at your reaction, nor could he hear Sam’s defense or Steve’s angry shouts as Rollins continued his taunts. He didn’t know how it happened, but suddenly, Rollins was on the floor. Sam was shaking his hand out, holding his fist against his chest.

Rollins stumbled his way back to his feet with a vengeance, folding his hands into fists as he charged at Sam.

“Get him out of here!” Steve’s muffled voice called to you as the crowd began to swarm in. Former soldiers joining the chaos, cheering or barreling fists. A man bumped into Bucky’s shoulder, but there was no trace of a reaction on his face. He was empty. He was numb.

Bucky could vaguely feel your hand as you slipped it into his pocket, drawing his own to intertwine between your fingers and you tugged him down the hall. He knew better than to look over his shoulder at the mess he was leaving behind.

***

You took Bucky into the empty library, quickly closing the door behind you to muffle the sound of the shouting down the hall. Bucky stood at the head of the couch, his eyes downcast.

“Are you alright?” You knew there was no good answer. It was a foolish question. And still -- you asked.

Your hands slid along Bucky’s chest, up to his shoulders to try and draw some of the tension away, and for the first time, he recoiled under your touch. Your hands quickly dropped down to your sides as you took a few steps back, hands held tightly in front of you. A flash of remorse covered his features as he looked at you, but then the stone swept back in its place and hardened the softened edges you adored. You pushed aside the splinter inside your chest.

“Who was that guy anyway? He seems like a real piece of work.” You laughed, though it was tense and forced. Bucky didn’t so much as crack a smile.

It was silent for a moment. The only sound coming from the low hum of the radiator in the corner of the room. Bucky’s gaze was fixated on the carpet, staring at the years’ faded stains and the dust bunnies at the foot of the couch. A terrible aching tugging down on his lips, on his eyes, on his cheeks, and he barely resembled the man who had teased you over coffee at Luciana’s just an hour earlier.

“He was right, though.”

You swallowed, daring to ask, “what do you mean?”

“I'm the reason half my unit is dead,” Bucky replied flatly. When he looked at you again, you found his eyes were red, his lips swollen from chewing on the edges. His right hand had indents in his palm from where he’d dug his nails into the skin. Your stomach lurched.

“Oh, Bucky.” Your heart broke at the sight of him. “That... That can’t be true.”

He didn’t say anything, but the grit in his teeth was enough to tell you that he believed it. You’d only seen glimpses of how the war had touched him, how it cast shadows over the man he’d been before he stepped on that plane and adorned the uniform, but now – now, it felt like those shadows had consumed him whole. He couldn’t so much as see the soft rise of the sun over his shoulder. He was too swept up in the embrace of darkness. The light couldn’t touch him where he stood shielded by night.

“Why don’t we go to my place?” you offered, inching a step closer. When he didn’t retreat, you gathered his hand into your own. While he didn’t pull away again, you could feel the reluctance in his grip, the rigidity in his stance. “I can make dinner and we'll throw on a movie, okay? Let’s just get out of here.”

Your right hand slid along the side of his face, cupping at his cheek. He usually leaned into the touch, pressed a kiss to the inside of your palm. Instead, the most he could force out was a tight-lipped smile that did not touch his eyes. You could practically feel how hard he was clenching his jaw, the muscle tired and aching. Still, he nodded.

As you led him out the back exit of the VA, you glanced behind you to see Rollins sitting on the floor, nursing a bloody nose as a police officer stood over him, jotting down notes as he spoke with Steve. Sam caught your eye for a second, nodding in your direction. A relief washed through you and you tugged Bucky outside before anyone could notice him slip out.

It was silent the whole walk to your apartment. It wasn’t entirely unusual, but it was the first time the air carried a lingering sense of discomfort in it. You wondered what was going on in Bucky’s head, how badly he’d construed whatever Rollins had said to him, even before you arrived. Sam had told you of Bucky’s self-destructive habit of carrying guilt far heavier than he could carry, guilt that didn’t belong to him. He seemed to welcome it like it was made for him. He didn’t mind if it ripped him apart and left him broken and empty when it was done. He seemed to think it was what he deserved.

You squeezed his hand, hoping it might draw back a sense of comfort, but he kept his eyes forward on the empty streets ahead. His hand was little more than limp in your hold.

***

Bucky was just on the edge of sleep when it began to creep up on him. Slow at first, and then, sudden, in violent flashes.

Sweltering heat. The low rumble of a jeep. An infectious laugh on his left and the cold compress of a gun in his hands. A sudden stop.

Bucky gritted his teeth, trying to turn away from the images attempting to draw him under, to sweep him beyond the current, to drown him in the darkest parts of the depth. But the riptide caught hold of his leg and forced him underwater.

Heavy equipment on his back. Sand under his feet. The sun blinding in his eyes.

He swallowed, but his throat was lined in rust. It burned. He couldn’t breathe.

A reflection over a valley. Someone shouting. Screaming. Warning. Frantic.

The kid. Get to the kid!

Then – the heat of a fire scorching his skin. Ringing in his ears. Muffled. Agonizing silence. Blood on the sand, on his shoes, dripping down his side and soaking into his uniform.

Pain. So much pain. So much pain. So much—

Bucky’s eyes shot open. He sucked in a breath of air and it came in short and shallow, barely filling his lungs, and he was panting for more. He swung his legs over the side of the bed, gasping for breath until he took enough in that the dizziness started to subside. His forehead was lined in sweat, his right hand shaking uncontrollably as he gripped at the sheets.

It was as mild as it’s ever been – the nightmares. Usually, he woke up screaming, his voice so raw it ached until morning. He thrashed and kicked and drew blood until something finally jarred him awake. He’d broken the lamp beside his bed four times in the weeks after he came home. It was violent and messy, and it was a damn miracle he’d only felt a sliver of it tonight.

But it had been so long since he had one. He almost thought they had finally released him from their hold before Rollins showed up. For a while, they let him be happy. He should have known better than to expect it to last.

The mattress dipped slightly behind him and with a sharp hilt, Bucky suddenly remembered where he was.

He turned over his shoulder to find you laying on the bed beside him, hair cast up and around you against the pillow, eyes closed, the steady rhythm of your breaths indicating you were still fast asleep. He stilled for a moment, watching the gentle rise and fall of your chest, the light scrunch in your nose.

You’d tried so hard to get him to smile the whole evening after what happened at the VA. Constant touches to his cheeks, along his arm, playing absentmindedly with his hand. You made him dinner and curled up against him as you put on a movie that you were certain would turn his mood around, but he remained stoic and cold until you finally resigned to the bedroom.

He could tell how exhausted you were. Even reaching for his hand, there was a helplessness in your grasp, but you’d begged him to stay, insisting you didn’t want him to be alone after what happened at the VA. You held him tight to your chest, told him over and over again that you didn’t care what Rollins said, you knew he was a good man and that was all that mattered.

Bucky wanted so badly to believe that.

But here you were – so beautiful, a light, something good in his life he didn’t deserve.

Sam would kill him for giving into those thoughts again, but all he had in his head was violence and agony and there you were – so peaceful and soft and kind. He'd taint you with all the mess threatening to break through his seams. He’d hurt you. He'd break you. You couldn’t hold him together no matter how hard you tried. He didn’t deserve such kindness. Today reminded him of that.

Bucky leaned in and pressed a short kiss to your temple. It was feather light and still, you sighed in your sleep. He tried not to notice when the corners of your lips curved up into a smile.

Then, he crept out of the room, stealing one last look at you as you turned onto your side, arms crossed over your chest protectively. Something tugged inside his chest, begging him to stay. He could feel it pushing him back toward the bed, to your embrace and the comfort it brought, but he turned his back. He ignored his every instinct to return to your side and dragged his feet of the bedroom instead.

Despite his reluctance, he found himself lingering on the photograph in your hallway of the Air Force pilot; sandy blonde hair, a tight-lipped smile, features that made him look younger than he probably was. A pang of jealousy wretched into his stomach at the sight of this nameless man. Shame quickly followed.

You never spoke of the man in the photo – the nameless Air Force pilot who stood at your side in front of your parents. The way you pressed out a smile despite your tears, the position of your stance angled closer to the pilot as if to preserve your last remaining moments together, made Bucky question what had happened to this man. This was clearly a man you had loved. Might still love.

Bucky didn’t dare allow himself to wonder if he had ever measured up. He supposed now he would not get the chance.

Bucky let out a sigh as he turned away from the picture. He made it all the way to the door before he heard the squeak of the floor boards behind him.

“Bucky?”

Sleep was still etched in your voice. You yawned as you folded your arms, squinting at him to adjust to the dim light in the kitchen. Bucky clenched his jaw, reluctantly turning to face you.

“It’s the middle of the night,” you said, eyes flickering to the clock above the stove. It was then you must have noticed the jacket draped over his shoulders, boots on his feet, hand begrudgingly releasing the door knob. Your face fell. “Where are you going?”

He didn’t know what to say. Was there an easy way to break your heart? Was there any excuse that could allow both of you to walk away from this unharmed? There was no good answer, but his silence certainly was worse.

“Bucky?” you tried again and he could hear the inflection of concern etched into your tone. You took a step closer to him and he held himself firm. He was stone now. It was what he had to be.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered out, voice low, though he met your eye. “I can’t do this.”

If you were still half asleep a moment ago, you weren’t anymore. Your eyes widened, lips parting. Your arms fell down to your sides.

“What... What are you talking about?” you exhaled, barely above a whisper. He could hear the hurt in your voice, the confusion, and he hated himself for it. You stepped closer, reaching out for his hand. “Please, just come back to bed. You look like you haven't slept for—”

Bucky pulled his hand away the moment you touched his fingers. It forced a hitch in your breath, a step back. You hadn’t expected him to recoil from you like that. Two times in the same day. You were losing him, the realization clear in your eyes. He was slipping and he would not take the tether as you threw it to him.

“This is about what that man said at the VA, isn’t it?” you asked timidly, your lip quivering. You shook your head, trying to hold back tears though Bucky could practically hear the tension from the lump in your throat. “He was... he was just being cruel. I don’t believe a word of it. And neither does Sam or Steve – the people that love you, Bucky. Don’t give in into him. Don’t let him win.”

Bucky didn’t say anything, rendering his reaction colder than you deserved.

You reached out for him again, a habit, though you pulled your hand back to your chest before you could touch him. It was shaking.

“Honey, please,” you tried again, unwilling to give up on him like you should. “Come get some rest and maybe you’ll feel better in the morning. Just... don’t go. Don’t be alone with this.”

You were begging. He could hear it in your voice. The desperation. And still—Bucky offered you nothing in return.

He sank so far inside himself you couldn’t reach beyond the cliffside to offer your hand. All it took was a single push. He was already standing so close to the edge. Rollins had set a hand on his back, like an old friend, like an enemy, and shoved. Bucky didn’t even try to catch his fall.

“Whatever this is...” Bucky murmured and eyes focused down at the tile, unable to look at you as he broke your heart, “it’s over.”

His heart was splintering as he said it and still, he turned and left without another word. He didn’t wait for your response, didn’t wait to see whether his cruelty had ended in tears, and closed the door behind him. You didn’t attempt to follow.

You’d understand eventually, he convinced himself. Even a woman as compassionate and loving as you couldn't possibly love a man so broken, with jagged edges and open wounds, with shards of glass embedded inside him and poison in his touch. Empty and hollow. Broken.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes

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onyxheartbeat · 3 years

Text

Dear HIM/Ville Valo fans,

this is a long post but I must discuss this.

________

I came across this interview of Kat Von D from a few days ago. Before I get into my thoughts, below is a passage from her old book “Go Big or Go Home” which you may or may not have read. She wrote about Ville:

________

“I only knew his music, and I loved it on first listen. It was dark and it was beautiful. It was metal and it was poetry. It was love loaded into a gun, and I wondered about the man behind the songs. Two years later, our paths crossed, and like the majority of the connections I’ve made in life, tattooing brought us together. Through our first tattoo sessions, we began to get to know each other. For the next few years, I just thought of him as my friend from overseas, and that was all. Then, after knowing him for six years, something changed. It could have been the wine, the music, or the moon. Most likely it was just perfect timing. Just one kiss, and he changed my world. We were both sad back then, and lost. I was depressed, having finally ended a marriage that had been doomed from the beginning. I was also dealing with the pressures of filming a television show, which was totally new to me - and drinking my way blindly through it all. His story mirrored mine, and he had been feeling just as low. We had been waiting for something to happen, for someone or something to come along and save us from ourselves. And when it suddenly seemed that that someone was each other, it took us both by surprise. We shared darkness, and doing that bought light back into our somber worlds: for once, we didn’t feel alone.He’s the reason why I wanted to write music to begin with - and learn to sing. I remember the exact moment I made up my mind about making music. It was something I felt I needed to do, not for any reason other than a way to respond to him. It didn’t matter if the songs I’d write never saw the light of day, as long as he was able to listen to my music, my message to him. He had told me to look for a package at my door step, prefacing the delivery of the contents, his new album, saying, “These are all of the things that are easier sung than said.”I knew what he meant, but never imagined that each song would be filled with direct messages to me. I put the album on, and the music rushed out of the speakers and filled my house. His voice rang all around, making it’s way to the core of my heart with every word he sang. As cryptic as those lyrics may have been for anyone else, I knew exactly what each word meant and recognized every event and place he referred to. The songs were so beautiful, I just wished so badly that he could have said everything out loud just once to me. How should I respond to something like this? Where do I even start?The first time I saw him after I got sober, he was in town working on music. We sat in my office at the shop until the late hours of the night, talking and catching up about everything - music, home, art and work. Did we talk about love? No. We constantly danced around our past instead. What happened to us? I couldn’t find the courage to ask because I was scared of the answer I already knew. We decided to draw, with pencils and paper in front of us, we sat at opposite ends of the table. He pulled my three-minute timer from one of the nearby shelves, and placed it at the center of the table. He suggested we draw each other, and I was game. With a flip of the hourglass, the grains of sand moved from one vessel to the other, and we began.Sketching these timed portraits forced us to stare at each other, making it practically impossible to focus on the drawing itself. I had almost forgotten how beautiful his face was. He has a combination of eyes, lips, and a darkness to his looks that makes him look almost otherworldly. With him, I felt like I was at the center of an orderly, tranquil, magnificent universe. For those short three minutes, there were no questions about life or purpose. It was as if we never needed any more from each other than this.Like all people, I’ve suffered from love sickness and tasted the pain of love. The theatrical director of my mind, the one who staged all these versions of him and my life with him, seemed to be unaffected by reason. I was finding myself constantly day dreaming of the past.His eyes, his hands, his crooked smile - I’d ruminate over his features. Things he said. Things he did. Things he wrote. Things he drew. Things he sang. Over and over again, I’d sift through these images and memories as if they somehow contained the answer to my prayers. But I was living with a long-age memory of him; living so far away from the present moment.If we had spoken about what we were or what we thought we were, back when we got sober, I wouldn’t have been so confused, wandering what if, and writing the rest of our story in my mind. What did I expect? For him to magically not hear about me being in a relationship? And to not be bothered by it? If only he would have asked….. I would have….. If we could have only talked….. then things would be….. if we allowed ourselves to transform our fears of being open, vulnerable, then, I’d convince myself, we would be together. I realized that none of that mattered now. If I wanted to be free of this unrequited longing, I would have to make peace with the past and finally let it go. There was no way around it. But did I want to be free of it? - and him?I listened to one of his songs the other day. Out of all the songs he wrote on that album, this one was the most direct. He sings my name in the chorus. By the time the song is over, I’ve felt a range of emotions - I’m sad but happy, frustrated but calm. He sings about how I alone bring him to a place of stillness and peace within when we are together. What a victorious feeling - to enter into a place with him where no one else has been. To be able to bring goodness to and draw it out of someone. Those sweet thoughts were interrupted by an e-mail from him. Impeccable timing as always. It’s just a short note, letting me now he’s somewhere out there, thinking of me. He ends the message by calling me “Star Face” - his pet name for me from long ago that no one else uses. At that moment, I loathe him for it. I loathe him because I love him. Sometimes it feels like it would be so much easier to walk away from this if he’d just tell me that he hates me, that he wants nothing to do with me. But instead he calls me “Star Face.” There is no way he doesn’t know what he’s doing. He’s not letting go, either.‘Ultimately, it is the desire, not the desired, that we love.’The silver plane hurtled over Newfoundland, over the Labrador sea. Someone told me I might see the northern lights as I fly east and north, but I wouldn’t have noticed as I was deep in writing the letter that I had already mentally composed long before I decided to make this trip to see him over New Year’s Day. I didn’t have to edit myself this time, I knew exactly what the letter would say.I reread the note to myself before sealing the envelope. Then I drew out the first letter of his name in pencil on the front. What a beautiful letter it was, probably my favorite out of the entire alphabet. A letter I was so used to writing myself. With ease the swirls and curves of each arch seemed to flow from my heart, my mind’s eye, drawn in and through my arms to my hands, releasing themselves onto the pale ivory paper envelope. My plane landed soon after.I had missed this country, I had missed him, too. I wondered how time had treated him ,for it had been a few years since I had last seen him. I wondered if I still had the ability to quiet his heart when he was feeling manic. He always said I had a way of doing that when I was near. And I wondered if he even needed me in that way anymore.When we met up, he looked just as beautiful as the day we saw each other for the first time, almost ten years before. And as if no time had passed, we started right where we left off - hours flew by in the comfort of each other’s presence. Talking. Catching up.He asked if I was getting sleepy, and my attempt at concealing the tiredness was transparent. I looked at the clock; maybe it was the jet lag or the clock hands pointing to midnight, but I knew it was time to say good-bye. Reluctantly, we both stood up and tried our best to part ways. As good as it felt to be near him again, I gave him the letter I had written letting him know that I was letting the nation of us go. He took the sealed envelope, and then I watched him walk away for what I assumed would be the last time.My heart didn’t belong locked up in a tower across the ocean from my home. It belonged in my chest, beating, living, feeling, sometimes hurting, but always loving. I deserved to be free, and understanding and needing that more than a dream, I was finally able to let him go.”

_________

Now, let me start by saying, I’ve never understood this and I still don’t. I’ve had that passage saved in my drafts for years because I keep almost anything pertaining to Ville.

I’ve been a HIM fan since I was about 15 years old, and have followed Ville’s life and work closely. The friendship between them was always apparent to HIM fans in those days, because we saw her in photos with the band often. I used to watch Miami Ink and LA Ink as regularly as pretty much anyone in those days, and I remember when this particular passage of her book was brought to light, the HIM fan base read it and we all had our thoughts. We were all aware of Screamworks being written about Kat (it’s obvious in the lyrics of the album) even though Ville never specifically said Kat’s name when asked about it in interviews.

I remember being baffled back when we as HIM fans discovered this passage from the book. I couldn’t imagine not making that relationship work if it was true love. I’m a bit biased because I adore Ville and he’s like a dream to me, but I just couldn’t understand it. It seemed like she took the relationship for granted or she didn’t love him enough to make it work; but I digress. I get it; love and relationships are complex.

Still, flash forward to this recent interview (the screenshot), she says it was unrequited love, and I’m still not understanding it. Why release all the songs now? Why didn’t she make it work if it was true love? Who is she trying to say was the one not reciprocating (as the word “unrequited” suggests) in the relationship? I don’t understand any of it. More than anything, I’ve had so many questions that I wish I could ask Ville about it all because he only spoke briefly about it all, and it was always rather cryptic.

I’m only writing this as a HIM fan, and because I love Ville and his lyrics on Screamworks so, so much (it’s an extremely underrated album in the HIM discography, in my opinion) so I’m letting any fellow HIM lovers know she wrote an album in response to it, in case you’re interested. I haven’t followed Kat or her work in many years, so I don’t know what to make of all this, but it’s always been extremely apparent to me when listening to Screamworks that a lot of heart went into it and even pain, not that his lyrics on other albums aren’t like that too, but I felt it more on Screamworks. I feel that Ville was the one who was truly heartbroken.

You all probably know from following my blog that I’m obsessed with love and unrequited love. Any romantic stories, bittersweet letters, heartbreak, longing etc. is just my favorite thing in the world so please excuse the long post, haha.

#ville valo #him #h.i.m.#h.i.m #him band #screamworks #his infernal majesty

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angelsxbelle · 3 years

Text

growing up in love with you.

w/ oikawa, kuroo, and daichi

helloooo my beautiful beans:) i’m here to feed you with some more hurt comfort headcanons/scenarios since we’re all lonely and in love with anime boys :’)))

likes and reblogs are very appreciated!!!

genre: fluff and angst, hurt comfort, slice of life

pairings: oikawa x reader, daichi x reader, kuroo x reader x fem! reader

listen to: line without a hook, ricky montgomery

@moonhere i’m pretty sure this was your request with oikawa i’m so sorry this took so long omg

note: takes place during timeskip so beware of spoilers!!

warnings: mentions of violence, mentions of female anatomy and pronouns

oikawa, TOORU

oikawa tooru appears to have his life together on the outside, but in his mind he still feels like he’ll never be enough

in your relationship, he’s worked impossibly hard to better himself to the point where he’s not insecure which would cause a strain on the both of you, but he still has moments where he lets himself become consumed in his own thoughts

being with you has been possibly the best thing ever to happen to him, but at the same time he’s still terrified of losing you

when his worries start to consume him again, he can’t stop obsessively worrying over the possibility that you’ll find someone better than him, that you deserve someone better than him

oikawa can sometimes hide his insecurities by acting cocky, but you’ve gotten good at reading him so you can easily tell when he’s feeling insecure or unsure of himself

so when it springs up that you’ve been invited to your cousin’s wedding along with a plus one, he’s more than happy to accompany you as he loves fancy events like weddings

you make the preparations together, he helps you pick out a gift for the couple while you go shopping for a new dress to wear

overall, you’re both excited to make the journey back to your hometown to watch your cousin make his marriage official, you both know the ceremony will probably be amazing, as well as the festivities after

when you get there, you’re both immediately swarmed by relatives, exclaiming how excited they are to meet your longtime boyfriend and how happy they are to see everyone together

as the ceremony starts, you’re both on the edges of your seats waiting as you see the bride delicately step past you down the aisle, waiting to secure her vows with your cousin

the formalities went amazing, as all of your relatives sat in tears as the couple at the podium exchanged beautiful vows and the rings were slipped on each others’ fingers

after, everyone moved to the building next door as the wedding was help at a chapel at the edge of a forest, with the after party being a building next to it, walls made of glass so the guests could view the beautiful scenery outside

tooru is more than willing to show off his dancing skills at the beginning, and dinner goes well before your relatives and family get together to do group dances and disperse into separate conversations afterwards

as the lights get dimmer and the atmosphere of the party start to settle, tooru sits at your table as he watches you chatter away with your relatives.

he watches as you speak with such ease, never failing to coax a laugh out of even your stoniest aunts, he can’t help but think to himself how beautiful you are, and how incredibly lucky he is to have you

another man, he recognizes as the best man strolls up to you, striking up a conversation with you.

tooru knows it’s probably nothing, just a conversation, and he also knows you would never do anything to hurt him, so he’s content just watching you talk with someone else.

he watches the scene unfold like a movie, with him as a part of the background, just watching, waiting.

before, tooru would have been filled with a familiar uneasy feeling right about now, his stomach twisting uncomfortably in his body, mind filled with thoughts he wishes weren’t there.

he could only have hoped he was good enough for you.

thinking back through all the years with you, the memories, he remembers all the times you saved him from himself, the world, anything that had ever hurt him.

it was back in high school, the first day of oikawa tooru’s first year of high school, he walked around with his head held high to keep anyone from seeing how low he felt, cocky smirk to hide just how unsure he really was of himself.

it wasn’t love at first, he didn’t particularly remember the first time he saw you, but step by step as you got closer to him he realized that you had one thing his fangirls could never give him, stability, comfort, and home.

he found home in you every time it hurt too much.

the feeling that could only possibly have imprinted itself into oikawa’s conscience was the feeling of being seen for who he truly was, a feeling that he had almost never felt before.

and as you saw him, he saw you the same way in that you could always depend on each other, for every painful moment, every failure, every insecurity.

it was then that he knew he really was in love with you.

even as he cried with his face in your lap in his third year you were still there, running your fingers through his hair and reminding him that he was enough and that you couldn’t be more proud of him.

and as he packed his bags to fly halfway across the world, he watched you cry as he couldn’t believe how much he meant to you.

the final weeks you had leading up to your graduation, you spent as much time with each other as possible, desperately trying to keep hold of the fleeting moments passing between you.

as you stood together in the tokyo national airport looking out at the window over the scenery of the country he had once called home, clutching a letter for him containing everything you had ever felt for him and wanted him to know before he left.

he looked at you with tears in his eyes, like you were the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on, saying goodbye for the last time.

the years you were apart as you finished university while he was overseas felt like a time of awakening, so much had changed in what felt like moments, both without what mattered most.

and he knew while he was gone there were many more people who could’ve found you like he did, and that there was nothing he could do to stop it.

the trust he had in you was all he needed to keep going, that when you came to meet him you would still love him the way you always did.

when you finally, came, and all was said and done, he felt like he never wanted to let go of you as he had you in his arms again, he had almost forgotten what it felt like to have the love of his life so close to him.

sometimes he still wonders why chose him, but it’s enough for him to remember that you did, and that you’ll never let go of him.

the song in the reception hall changes, and tooru snaps out of the flashback that had taken over him for who knows how long.

you walk over to him and you look even more beautiful than he remembered, saying, “tooru! come over here and dance with me!”

he smiles and takes your hand, fingers delicately brushing the diamond on your finger he had carefully picked out all that time ago, that you had both cried tears of joy over when he stood on the top of the mountain to make things forever, thinking he was the happiest man alive.

you were always with him, from when he was an insecure teenager to the words san juan reading on his back.

he can’t even fathom how much it means to him as he holds you close to him, one hand on your shoulders and the other on your middle, round and full with his baby, how he’ll never get tired of love like this.

he kisses your forehead and says, “anytime you want baby”.

kuroo, TETSURO

despite his sarcastic and confident manner as he had grown up, kuroo was shy as a small child

he had a hard time making friends in elementary school at first, but that didn’t stop him from meeting people he would care about for the rest of his life, that he would cherish forever

on his first day of kindergarten, he only knew kenma who was also shy and mostly kept to himself during the day

but there was one other person who was there for him, the little girl who stood next to him when no one would, who asked him what his name was and held his hand on the playground

and so you and kuroo tetsuro became best friends, along with kenma, holding a bond that wouldn’t be separated even when you graduated

it felt like time had gone by in a blur, like the memories slipped through his fingers like water, and now you were all fully grown adults with jobs, with lives, with purposes

and now, it was the tokyo 2021 olympics and kuroo tetsuro was getting ready to watch the competitions with his associates and friends, ready to watch his old friends and acquaintances on japan’s national team

he felt like he could get lost in an ocean of people, but he spots you in the crowd immediately, he could spot your face anytime, anywhere

and so he meets you as you take your places, ready to watch the game begin

as he sees his old friends on the court together, he can’t help but to start remembering his high school days, when you were still young

it doesn’t help either that kuroo becomes painfully aware again of the way that he had been pining for you for all those years, even being one of the smartest people in his grade he still felt like the biggest idiot for just standing back and watching you grow, away from him

sometimes he wishes he could have turned back time, just to go back and tell you how he really felt earlier

but he let the years pass by, watching you drift slowly apart as he harbored his own feeling in order to avoid being rejected

now that you’re both graduated adults with careers and life paths, kuroo’s feelings are still very much present and if anything, he wants to try just one more time to prove he still cares

so he sits next to you, looking over at your gentle face as he takes in your features once again, watching your lips move slightly as you breathe in and out, and he remembers there was once nothing he would do in the world to give up being with you, wishing he had said something sooner

kuroo glances up as he starts to think back on all the times he could have told you how he really felt, all the times he screwed up worse than he could even imagine.

it was your first boyfriend having graduated high school, some douchebag kuroo couldn’t even be bothered to learn the name of.

but what he felt could never be forgotten, as he watched you walk away with another man’s arm around your lower back, pulling you close in a way that he had always dreamed of doing to you but couldn’t.

he was bitter, cold, in a way that he shouldn’t ever have been.

it’s your own dumbass fault, he thought, but that didn’t make him any less hurt or angry at what he had let happen. were you even happy? did someone else other than him make you happy?

he let himself grow apart from you ever so slightly, you saw him just as often and still cared for him just as much, but you could tell there was something he was keeping from you that even he couldn’t admit to himself.

kuroo thought it was over when you said yes to someone else, but here he was holding you in his arms as you cried with a bruised face and shattered heart.

all he could think about was how this would never happened if you picked him, but he was so pathetic he couldn’t even make it happen past his imagination, but no matter how angry or upset he was you still came first.

and he kept that promise as you got older, all he would do was care for you silently as he witnessed your life through the glass that separated you, that he could break but wasn’t strong enough to, no matter how much it hurt.

“are you coming tetsu- chan?”

it was the summer before first grade, he was hiding under the overhang of a bus stop with his hood over his small face, quivering on the ground in a crouched position.

kuroo’s seven year old self looked up at your small face, a hand outstretched as you held your way too big umbrella over your head, waiting for him to say something in return.

he had always hated thunderstorms, he hated the way it felt like the sound and violence swallowed him up, the same way it felt when his parents yelled at each other as he stood in the doorway of his bedroom watching from a distance.

he looked around at the dark gray skies engulfing him, the small threads of lightning painting the skies like blood vessels, wishing it would all go away.

but you still stood there as the rain poured down in your rain coat and small red boots as you waited for him to come out.

he reluctantly started to crawl out slowly, as you inched closer to where he was previously hunched, waiting for him to reach you.

as you stood just past the overhang, he stuck his hand out timidly and you wrapped your fingers around it, giving his hand a small squeeze before you started to walk towards your house together.

he shivered the whole way there, and every time you heard thunder crack in the distance he held your hand a little bit tighter.

when you got home your mother freaked out and called his family so they weren’t worried about him, and then got out warm towels and told the both of you to go take a bath so you wouldn’t catch a cold.

after you were both warm and dry and wrapped up in soft pajamas, which he had borrowed, kuroo felt oddly at home, like he never wanted to leave the safe place he had with you.

even as you had set up a futon for him on the floor, after about 30 minutes of being terrified of the sounds rattling your house he asked to get closer, and you shifted as he crawled into bed with you.

when you woke up in the morning he was fast asleep with your favorite stuffed animal clutched in his arms, a soft expression on his face, and you couldn’t help but think how peaceful he looked.

the truth is, as you made friends with the small boy in your kindergarten class you had already told stories with your dolls and toys saying you were going to marry him one day.

at 13 you had wondered why he never talked about liking any other girls, you had worried he wasn’t interested in anyone at all.

and at 19 you had tried to move on but it was just too hard.

every time you had fallen you were always there for each other, through all the scraped knees, thunderstorms, and broken hearts.

you only wished you could tell each other what your relationship really meant, what you wanted it to be.

and as kuroo sits in the stands of his friends’ volleyball game, he wonders the same thing that you do.

“y/n- chan, will you be my girlfriend?”

sawamura, DAICHI

being in the same class as daichi in your first year of high school had been interesting, he was rather ordinary looking but you couldn’t help but notice how hard working and kind he was, his energy drew others close to him and you could see why he was admired by many

you didn’t pay much attention to it as you were a bit shy about talking to new people and you didn’t want him to think you were trying to hard, so you kept your distance until you were paired together for a project

you were quiet at first as you sat next to him at your desk since he was a bit intimidating, but as soon as he started talking you felt yourself ease up around him, something about the way he spoke was comforting and it felt like you were at home with him even as you sat inside school

you had started to come up with a plan for your project, and you basfully said, “i’m not that good at english, so i hope it won’t be hard for you to deal with me or anything”, not thinking too much about it

“don’t say that, i’m sure you’re great and you should have more confidence in yourself, it will be better for you”, you hear him say firmly but gently from next to you at the desk

your cheeks flush with warmth and you look down, not sure what to say to him next, but he starts talking about your project plans so you turned around to pay attention to what he was saying

things went well with your assignment and you both received a good grade from your teacher, the school day was about to end as it was your last class and you were about to walk through the door when you felt a hand grasp yours and you turned around to face him

“u-uhm, i really had a nice time getting to know you while we were working together and i was wondering if you maybe wanted to be friends”

it was the first time you had ever seen him look flustered or anything of the sort, but you were happy to oblige since you had had just a nice time getting to know him as well

you smiled softly and walked away, feeling excited at the possibility of getting closer to sawamura daichi as he had intrigued you so much in the couple of weeks that you had known him

and so years later after that time you had first met, you were still around each other, he was one of the best things that had ever happened to you

it was a reunion between his old high school volleyball team, you had known how close they were as you were with him during his final year when karasuno had gone to nationals, and how much his old teammates meant to him and the relationship they had

and so you both made your way over to the tanaka residence with a dish you had cooked in your hands, both excited to see your old friends again and witness the ways they had all grown up and changed

as soon as you walked in the door, all the memories you had made in high school came flooding back at the sight of your friends’ faces, although it was strange seeing how much older they looked.

daichi wonders if he looks that old to them too, sometimes he forgets how much time has passed since they graduated.

it felt like it had been only a moment since he had stood in karasuno high school’s gym barking at hinata and kageyama to get themselves together, with sugawara and tanaka laughing in the background and asahi watching with a fearful expression.

and now they were all grown adults, with lives and jobs and homes, some with lovers and some with dreams that came to life.

he couldn’t be more proud of who they all became, the boys he once knew to be scrawny and mischievous would now be standing on the world’s stage and others who had followed their passions found love in what they did.

still, sometimes daichi still can’t help but wonder if you wanted more, when he saw his old teammates and acquaintances from other schools play on national teams and be watched by thousands around the world.

he wonders if you’re still satisfied with just him.

daichi knows he’s not the most flashy guy out there, but you chose him out of everyone else, right?

he remembers all of those times in high school and when you had graduated that people wondered why why you were with him, couldn’t you have found someone a little more interesting, someone special?

daichi isn’t the type to let his emotions get the better of him, but it stung.

it stung bad.

and yet, he knew he couldn’t lose himself just because of some insecurities, things that didn’t really mean anything, but still wormed their way into his head like maggots growing in a corpse.

sometimes he thinks about the boyfriends you had before him, how he wasn’t anything like them, he was unsure if it was a good thing or a bad thing that he was the odd one out.

all his life he had felt painfully....average.

he wondered why people would forget his name just after talking to him, or why they would mistake him for other people, was he really that forgettable.

it felt sometimes like he was just another face in the crowd, sometimes he wondered if that was the way you saw him at first too.

what daichi didn’t know is how you had always seen him, someone reliable, special, valuable like no one else had been to you.

that he had always stuck out to you, he didn’t seem like anyone else in the sense that he always stepped up and did what needed to be done, you hadn’t seen a heart like his in anyone else your entire life.

he didn’t realize how in every class you had together, he was the one that you stared at, that you saw as beacon of hope out of everything you had faced in your life up until then.

daichi’s friends and family had always looked up to him, he didn’t always realize it but they saw him as a hero to everyone he helped, whether he did it intentionally or not.

through you, daichi was able to see himself the way that everyone else saw him.

when you said yes when he had asked you to marry him, it was cliche but he could’ve sworn he really was the luckiest man alive.

but the truth was he wasn’t lucky, he was more worthy than anyone else could be, the person who stayed by your side when no one else would and who made it seem like you were capable of anything.

you were living proof of just how special daichi sawamura was.

and on your wedding day, tears streamed down both of your faces as you got ready to read your vows to each other, because neither of you could fathom how much you meant to each other.

he couldn’t help but think how beautiful you looked standing in front of him , how he never wanted to let you go because you were worth more to him than anything else in his life.

in your vow, you told him just how much he meant to you, and how you were so incredibly lucky to have him, and he couldn’t help but let the tears slide down his cheeks because he loved you so damn much.

and as you sat on your living room couch with a pregnancy test in your hands he cried again because you made him happier than he could ever have wished to be.

it hurt him more than anything to see you in so much pain as you delivered your baby, but the amount of joy you’d bring into the world was more than worth it.

as you held your baby girl in your arms for the first time, he realized all he had ever needed in his life was right here, he wouldn’t have to search ever again.

it felt like she was growing bigger and bigger every day just in front of his eyes.

he knew one day she’d leave and grow up and have to let go, but for now she was still his and yours together.

and knew he was more special than anyone else in the world.

“honey, let’s go watch everyone in the living room, okay?”

you smiled, because the world had given you more than you could ever ask for, surrounded with beautiful people every day and given experiences you wouldn’t trade for the world.

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