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#you put your hand in mine

lowkis · 2 years

Text

you put your hand in mine - chapter 40

summary: when loki falls from the bifrost he lands on earth. isla finds him while out walking her dog one night and takes him under her wing, nursing him back to health as best she can. it’s hard, trying to juggle work, life, and looking after a fallen asgardian prince. with nowhere else to go and limited access to his magic, loki must heal, wait patiently, and adapt while trying to wrap his head around life on earth after everything that happened on the bifrost

LINK TO READ ON AO3

rated: t

words: 4731

tags: post-thor (2011), eventual romance, slow burn, mutual pining, fluff, drama, romance, angst, comfort/angst, canon divergence, protective loki, good loki, confused loki, loki needs a hug, he’s trying his best to understand earth, he’s trying his best full stop

read from the beginning: tumblr | ao3 | fic tag

Isla gripped Loki’s hand tighter once they landed in Heimdall’s observatory. The warrior stood to attention at his post, eyes looking out over the worlds scattered within his view. When they arrived, however, he paused and halted the troops of soldiers lined up uniformly behind him. The sword was twisted within its pedestal and removed, closing the Bifrost off for the time being, allowing him to step down from the dais and approach Thor.

Isla’s eyes widened when she saw the size of the force waiting to be mobilised behind him. They stretched far along the rainbow bridge, so far she could not see the end of the line.

All of them were going to fight Thanos and his army?

If that were the case, hope started to flutter within her chest at their chances of putting a stop to Thanos, to the Titan who had taken and hurt Loki so badly.

“Prince Thor, Prince Loki,” he greeted with a tilt of his head. “Lady Isla.”

Heimdall paused in his descent from the pedestal when his eyes lingered on Loki. They held suspicion within them, and Isla shifted to stand closer to him in response.

“Thank you, Heimdall, for the quick retrieval.” Thor’s gratitude was clear. “We must make haste to the Healing Rooms.”

“Is all well, My Prince?” Again, he eyed Loki, who stiffened by Isla’s side.

She placed her other hand over the top of the one she currently held.

“It will be,” Thor replied. “Now, we must away.” He breezed past the Guardian and continued onwards, past the awaiting soldiers.

“Can you create a portal,” Isla murmured to Loki.

He didn’t answer. Or perhaps, he wouldn’t. Isla wasn’t sure. His eyes swirled with light which had the Guardian gripping the hilt of his sword securely and Isla stepping fully in front of Loki, putting herself between him and Heimdall.

Whatever the Guardian was about to say was interrupted. Frigga appeared through a doorway of golden light and ushered them through without pause.

“Come.”

Her single command got Loki’s feet moving before Isla’s. She hurried after him, still clinging onto his hand tightly for support. His movements were still jerky as he fought to keep control.

They stepped into the Healing Rooms to see Frigga awaiting them by the side of a bed. Other healers were arranged around the piece of furniture, awaiting the arrival of the prince. A handful were wary, while most wore a mask of professionalism.

Loki halted to a stop before them all. The movement was so abrupt Isla almost stepped into the back of him.

“Loki?”

His grip tightened on Isla’s as the amount of people staring at them disconcerted him. Their suspicion after his sudden disappearance was hard not to notice and Isla felt irritation sparking in her gut.

“Loki, are you all right?”

The shake of his head was imperceptible, but Frigga noticed it.

And the uncertainty of the other healers in the room only grew.

“Can we talk privately, Your Majesty?” Despite asking the question, Isla’s tone made it clear it wasn’t a request.

Frigga glanced at Isla and nodded. She shooed the rest of the healers out the room – some reluctant to do so, but ultimately they did as their queen bid them.

“What has transpired?” Frigga rounded the bed to approach them, which caused Loki to take a reflexive step backwards.

Isla glanced up at Loki and waited to see if he’d explain anything to his mother. However he appeared rigid, his jaw clenched tight, but his eyes swirling with light.

He was struggling.

“Loki?” Isla ignored the queen and turned her attention to him. She moved to stand in front of him and gripped both his hands within hers. “Loki, look at me.”

It took great effort but Loki managed to peel his eyes off the wall at the far end of the room and turned his swirling eyes upon her. Isla’s heart ached at the sight of it, knowing he was suffering.

Isla lifted her hands to caress his cheek and chin. “It will be all right. I promise. I’m right here.”

He didn’t relax by any means, his stature still remained rigid, held tightly within control, but he did nod once as a reply.

“What has happened?” The Queen’s tone was all business.

Isla swallowed and managed to look away from Loki to turn towards Frigga. She kept one hand resting on his chest as a reminder she was right there. “I think… I think there’s something inside his mind, threatening to take control.” Isla pushed down her tears at the thought and persevered. “They – They tortured him.” As hard as she tried, that statement came out as a choked admittance. “We have to help him.”

Frigga nodded solemnly. “Loki, can you lie on a bed for me please?”

He still didn’t move. His expression was one of great effort as he tried to keep himself in check.

“I’m right here, Loki,” Isla whispered. She lifted a hand to cup his cheek and he finally moved. He looked down at her with such desperation it caused her heart to split into two. “We’re going to help you.” Isla glanced over at Frigga, who nodded in assurance.

“I need to examine your mind, Loki,” she explained gently. “If you wouldn’t mind?” Frigga gestured towards the empty bed beside her.

Isla tightened her grip on him and took a step closer.

His movement was sudden, and Loki snatched Isla’s hand to his chest to hold it tight within his grasp.

The startling movement, and given his current state of mind, had Thor stepping forward to intervene, but Isla lifted her hand behind her back to halt him. She was okay and he had nothing to worry about. He hadn’t hurt her. And if Loki noticed he didn’t show it.

“You won’t leave?” He sounded like a small child as he asked Isla his question. His eyes searched Isla’s closely and desperately.

Isla shook her head vehemently. “Never, Loki. I’ll never leave you.”

He exhaled and eventually he nodded. He turned to his mother and granted her wish. “All right.”

* * *

Isla carded her hands through Loki’s hair gently as he slept. She kept her movements even and comforting as he slept off the effects of the Queen drawing out the blue tesseract energy from his mind.

The sight of it being drawn out from Loki’s head and dangling from the tips of Frigga fingers had made Isla feel sick. It had lashed out with strands of energy, desperate to get back to its host, however Frigga’s magic was too powerful for it. She’d managed to draw it out, bottle it, and seal it off completely so it would not escape.

Loki had not been able to sleep through it. He’d been awake, unfortunately, and had tried so hard to hold himself together as the energy was extracted. Isla had gripped his shoulder tightly and hovered over him.

She’d wanted to hold onto his hand throughout it all however Thor had put a stop to it. Affronted, hurting, and desperate to provide some form of comfort and ease his suffering, Isla had whipped around to face Thor, to demand why.

“It is likely he will crush your hand in his grip, My Lady,” he murmured, the ending of it cut off by Loki’s loud gasp of pain. He had his hands fisted in the sheets on his bedside as Frigga started her work.

So, Isla had taken up a post by his shoulder while Thor gripped onto Loki’s hand. He lifted it and clasped it between both of his to hold on tight. Isla offered assurances and quietly told him how proud she was, but Isla wasn’t sure how much had gotten through. Still, she tried and didn’t stop until Loki had fallen into an exhausted sleep.

As she watched over him Isla felt her own exhaustion creep up on her. It had been a few hours since the Queen had finished, and the threat had been removed. Loki hadn’t stirred since and Isla couldn’t bring herself to leave his side. She felt emotionally drained, wrung out, and now hung out to dry.

She stood from her chair, suddenly compelled to do so, and pressed a kiss against Loki’s forehead. His skin was cold beneath her lips and clammy.

“Mum and Dad are here, Loki.”

Isla whispered quietly to appraise him of everything which had transpired over the past few days. It was a nice way for her to get out of her thoughts as well, which was much needed.

“I asked Thor if they could come, and Odin had said yes.” She laughed to herself. “I still can’t quite believe he allowed it. I haven’t really seen them since they arrived. As soon as they did, Thor announced they thought they’d found you, so I dived into the Bifrost after him without another thought. I couldn’t stand aside and do nothing any longer. Dad didn’t seem to mind, though. He nodded to me right before I left, so I think he approved.” She chuckled and shook her head.

A tear escaped.

“I think they like it here,” Isla continued after releasing a shuddering breath. “Mum was amazed by the city from the observatory.” Isla wished she’d been able to show them around properly, but alas, she hadn’t been able to. “Your mother welcomed them in with open arms. It was really sweet, actually, and I can’t believe our parents have met. That’s a big step,” she joked, “that’s when you know it’s serious.”

More tears escaped from her lids, but she still smiled down at the man she loved in the bed.

“I can’t wait for them to get to know you better, Loki.”

Someone clearing their throat from the doorway caused Isla to turn. Thor stood there looking rather sheepish.

“Come in, Thor,” Isla beckoned.

“I apologise for my interruption.”

Isla waved him off. “It’s all right. I was just… thinking out loud,” she replied as a light blush coloured her cheeks, embarrassed slightly at having been found out, but not minding it too much.

“How is he?”

“No change,” Isla sighed. She stroked a finger down Loki’s cheek. “Your mother analysed him a few hours ago and couldn’t find the energy, which was consuming him before, though, so that’s something.”

Thor nodded. “She told me he was simply resting now.”

Isla swallowed thickly and nodded. “He did go through a lot,” she nodded.

Thor sat down heavily in the chair across from Isla and sighed heavily. “He always seems to do so,” he lamented.

“Thor?”

“Loki always seems to bear the brunt of everything while I get off with next to nothing,” he murmured, mostly to himself. Then, he caught Isla’s eye. “I apologise, I too was merely thinking out loud.” The edges of his lips tried, but failed, to quirk upward into a smile.

They both observed Loki for a moment longer.

“If I could take this from him and shoulder it, I would,” Thor admitted. “I hate to see him like this.” He too swallowed thickly and blinked once, twice, three times. “Especially now that my eyes have been opened to all he has gone through recently.”

“I do too,” Isla admitted. “I would as well. He deserves so much better.”

“On that, we agree upon wholeheartedly, dearest sister.”

A tear escaped and trailed down Isla’s cheek. It was quickly wiped away, but Thor still saw and offered his sympathies.

“Fear not, Lady Isla. He will come back to us, and you both will live a long, happy life together. I am certain of it.”

She appreciated his sentiment but Isla did not meet Thor’s eyes and instead turned to watch back over a sleeping Loki. Still, she smiled for Thor’s benefit, but it did not meet her eyes.

“Lady Isla? Have I said something to upset you?”

She shook her head despite the tears in her eyes.

“I may be a fool,” Thor said with jest, “but I am not blind. What did I say, sister, to leave you looking so heartbroken?”

“It’s nothing, Thor,” she replied with a subtle wipe to her eyes.

“It clearly is,” he replied, and she could hear the frown in his voice. He was like a dog with a bone with this and Isla sighed in resignation.

“What brings such heartache to you? How may I assist?”

“You can’t,” Isla whispered as the reality of their different mortalities came crashing back down upon her.

“I can certainly try. I will certainly try. Please,” he pleaded.

The determination in Thor’s voice caused Isla to glance over at him. She almost laughed at the alarm she saw on his face the sight of her tears.

“I cannot bear to see you so upset, Lady Isla. Tell me, what saddens you so?”

Isla sighed and looked back down at Loki’s sleeping form. She brushed his already perfectly positioned hair further away from his face in an attempt to keep her hands busy to hide how much they were shaking. Then, the settled and curled around the forearm closest to her.

“I’m scared, Thor,” she admitted finally.

“Of what, my dear?”

“Of the future.” Isla swallowed. “I would happily tie myself to Loki and marry him. I…” She swallowed past the lump which had formed inside her throat. “After all that has happened recently, I wish I had already and hadn’t allowed my own fears hold me back. I love him so much,” she whispered as she stroked a finger down his cheek, “but how can I do that too him?”

Thor looked thoroughly confused. “Do what?”

“How can I marry him?”

Thor frowned. “Lady Isla, I do not understand.”

Isla hiccupped and tears fell down her cheeks. They overspilled and there was no stopping them. The stress from the last few days finally tipped her over the edge.

“How can I marry him knowing I will be gone in a few years? I’m mortal, Thor, in case you had forgotten. I will be gone, leaving him heartbroken and leaving him behind.” She squeezed her eyes tightly closed. “I don’t want to subject him to that.”

“And that is your reason for holding back?” Thor’s voice was even and quiet. It was respectful as they discussed such a sensitive topic.

Isla nodded. “I can’t… I can’t do that to him,” she choked out.

A heavy hand rested upon her shoulder. “Lady Isla…” He sighed and looked away, across the room towards nothing, for a moment. “I do not wish to get your hopes up,” Thor said hastily. “I will not make promises without guarantees, but such fears may be eased very soon.”

Isla froze. “What?”

“I cannot speak of it just yet. I’m surprised Loki has not brought it up with you before,” he added, glancing down at his sleeping brother.

“Brought up what, Thor? What is it?” She sounded so desperate, but Isla didn’t care.

“Please, let me seek wiser counsel first,” he implored. “As I said, I do not wish to get your hopes up, but the fears you spoke of may not come to pass.”

Isla’s heart thudded inside her chest. It battered against her ribcage as her heart rate picked up. She turned and latched a hand onto Thor’s forearm tightly. “What?”

“Please, let me speak upon it with my mother and father before asking me about it further. But think on this, in my absence.” Thor gently grasped the back of her neck in the palm of his hand moved in close. “We are a long-lived race, Lady Isla. There are not very many of us in Asgard, but there are enough. The Norns, while sometimes tough, are not unfair in the blessings or lessons they bestow upon us. They would not grant Loki – one of the Gods of Aasgard – a mate with such a short life.” His eyes twinkled with knowing that made hope stir inside Isla’s chest.

“You mean…” She gasped quietly with the realisation of what he was saying.

“Let me speak with those wiser than me first. But I have a very strong feeling your fears will be eased soon, my dear.” His grin was wide and filled with delight.

Tears sprang to Isla’s eyes when he pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head.

“Look after yourself, my dear. You cannot look after my brother if you are worn out yourself.”

She glanced over at him. “I don’t think I can move from his side.”

“I never said anything about moving from his side.” There was the sound of scraping – which made Isla jump – and suddenly there was a bed at her back. “If you could please move your chair, I can place this by Loki’s bedside to allow you to get some rest.”

Once the furniture was settled Isla hugged Thor tight. She threw her arms around his neck with such enthusiasm it made him laugh quietly to himself as he stooped low.

“Thank you,” she whispered against his chest.

“Of course, My Lady,” he replied fondly. “I must away to speak to Mother. Will you be all right with me gone?”

Isla nodded. “Go,” she urged. “I won’t keep you.”

“I will return with glad tidings, I hope, but I may need to return to Midgard first to assist Father with its protection.”

Worry sparked in her heart. “Be careful, Thor. I know…” Isla trailed off and swallowed thickly. “I know what they’re capable of.”

His easy grin fled, and a seriousness overtook Thor’s features. “I am aware too. Do not fret. Not about me, or about my troublesome brother,” he added with a fond smile. “He will be back before you know it.”

He offered her a jaunty wave before he left, leaving Isla and a slumbering Loki in the healing room.

Her mind whirled with thoughts and implications. It felt like it was fit to burst with her worry over Loki as well, and her head thumped with pain.

Perhaps a nap wouldn’t hurt her. She hadn’t been able to sleep much while Loki had been gone but now he was back, he was asleep, and he was healing, she could possibly gain some semblance of rest.

Isla curled under the covers and pulled the sheet up to her chin. She remained facing Loki and reached over to grasp his hand tightly. She’d hate to know he woke up for the first time while she was asleep, but if he did, at least he knew she’d be near. Isla clutched onto his hand tight and willed herself not to let go as she slept, while her eyes drooped closed with complete exhaustion.

* * *

Loki’s consciousness returned to him slowly. His limbs felt heavy, exhausted, and held no desire to move. Even twitching his fingers felt like a feat. He let loose a sigh and batted his eyes open. The sight of Asgard’s Healing Room’s high ceilings welcomed him, causing relief to shudder through his chest and trickle down his leaden limbs.

He was back home.

A grunt escaped him as he shifted on the bed. The miniscule movement made his head pound furiously. It thumped inside his skull as if threatening to burst from within.

“Loki? Loki!”

His eyes snapped open at the familiar voice calling his name. Suddenly Isla’s face appeared before his eyes and encompassed his whole world.

Nothing else mattered when he set his eyes on her bright green ones, shining in the golden light of the room. A tear had already escaped and hurried its way down her pale cheek. Loki’s fingers twitched with the desire to wipe it away and offer her comfort.

“Isla,” he breathed, feeling more relief settle upon his weary bones. He hadn’t the strength for much else.

She looked exhausted. Worry had paled her complexion and the skin beneath her eyes was bruised due to lack of sleep. Loki immediately felt concern sweep over him as he took in her form.

Isla let out a strangled sob and threw her arms around his neck. She buried her face into the crook of his neck, soaking his skin with her tears as she cried.

“My love,” he forced out. His voice sounded like a hoarse croak. “My love, breathe,” he urged. Her distress worried him, and he sought to discover the reason for it and ease it completely.

“You’re awake,” Isla hiccupped. Her breath tickled the wet skin of his neck.

“I am. I’m here,” he soothed. It was an effort, but he managed to place a shaking hand on her back to hold her even closer against him. Loki turned his head into her hair and inhaled deeply. The scent of her washed over him like a welcome embrace.

Isla pulled away. Her face, though tear stained, broke out into a wide smile as she gazed down at him.

“How are you feeling? Do you need anything?”

Loki shook his head but winced when pain lanced through his head.

“Loki?”

“I’m all right,” he croaked out. “Head hurts,” he replied in as little words as possible to save his pounding head.

“I’ll get Frigga.”

Before he could protest Isla had dashed away from his bed and out the room.

The smile on his mother’s face as she walked through the doorway with Isla anxiously in tow was bright as the sun. “Loki,” she sighed in relief. She came to his bedside and bent to press a kiss to his forehead.

The action caused a warmth, long forgotten within these halls, to spread through his chest.

“Lady Isla said you had a sore head. May I?”

Loki nodded as she gestured towards his head.

He expected pain. He expected more prodding. He gripped onto Isla’s hand tightly when she slipped it into his to prepare and steel himself against more pain, but it didn’t come. His mother’s presence within his mind caressed it gently and soothed all aches. It was a startling difference compared to Thanos’ attempt at control.

“Everything is gone. There is no trace of the energy which once lingered within. The protective barrier I sent to you did its job,” she smiled, pleased.

“Barrier?”

Frigga nodded at the necklace around Isla’s neck.

Loki blinked in surprise.

“I sent the protective spell through the bonded piece of jewellery you share with magic. It was a gamble and one I hoped would pay off and offer some protection.”

She’d tried that? For him?

“Wait, when?”

Frigga chuckled at Isla’s confusion. “When we had our conversation in the gardens, Lady Isla.”

“Oh… I thought it was an electric shock.”

His mother just smiled knowingly and shrugged. “Anyway, I shall leave you both be for now.” She bent over Loki and cupped his cheek. “I’m so proud of you, my son.”

Loki swallowed at the sentiment. How she could be so proud of him, he did not know. But did not have the energy to dispute it.

“Thank you, Mother.”

“Now, get some rest. Both of you.” She flicked her gaze over to Isla. “I will ensure you will not be disturbed for the rest of the day. If you need anything, just call for me.” She gave Loki’s hand a squeeze and left them both be.

“Isla,” Loki breathed.

She hurried over to his side. When she arrived he managed to force an arm to lift so he could cup her cheek tenderly. “I am overjoyed to see you safe.”

She clutched the wrist of the hand resting against her face. Isla held on tight as she gazed down at him with tear filled eyes. “Same here,” she replied in a whisper.

“Are you all right?”

She nodded when the first tear fell. “And you?”

“I am better now, after seeing you.”

The tears came thick and fast. Loki opened his arms instinctively which Isla fell into without a word. She curled into a ball against his side and tucked her head beneath his chin as her frame shook. Loki cupped the side of her head and held it against him while his other hand rested upon her back, rubbing circles into her spine. He hushed her quietly, his heart hurting at the pain she was experiencing.

“It’s all right,” he murmured into her hair. “It will be all right, Isla.”

She shook her head. “I know,” she whispered. “I know it will be. But I can’t help but worry.”

“Why?” Loki asked his question gently but was desperate to understand.

“Just… About everything. You, Th – Thanos,” she stuttered over the Titan’s name and inhaled sharply, “and everything else that might happen because of him.”

If possible, she curled into an even tighter ball against his side.

Loki wrapped his arms tight around his beloved. A deep feeling of calm rooted in his soul with her returned there, where he could know she was safe and protected. Where she would not be harmed by those against him.

“I would not let anything happen to you, my love,” he vowed, with a tightening of arms around her. “And I am in no rush to leave Asgard again after this.”

Isla nodded and Loki felt her relax slightly.

“I apologise, though. I will not be able to accompany you to see your parents…” Loki frowned after trailing off. There was a memory of something tugging at his mind at the mention of them.

“That’s okay. They’re here, Loki, on Asgard.”

He paused. “Here?”

Isla nodded. “I asked Thor if they could come. I… I didn’t want to be alone… with you gone. Odin said yes to it.”

“I remember…” It came to him in a brief flash. She’d told him this already.

Isla shifted and turned her face up to his. “Remember what?”

“I remember you telling me they were on Asgard.” He frowned down at her, his confusion evident. “But how can that be?”

The way her face lit up so brightly almost stole his breath away. “You heard me?” Amazement laced her tone.

“Heard you?”

“I –” She blushed as she began her confession. “I told you about it all when you were asleep,” Isla confessed. “I wasn’t sure if you’d hear me and I thought it might help,” she mumbled, mostly to herself in her embarrassment.

Mum and Dad are here, Loki.

I dived into the Bifrost after him without another thought.

I would happily tie myself to Loki and marry him.

“I heard you,” Loki replied with wonder. “You broke through the fog which settled upon my mind.” Then, Loki paused and lifted an unimpressed eyebrow. “You dived into the Bifrost after Thor?”

Isla blushed. “Of course I did,” she replied defensively. “He said he’d found you and I wasn’t going to stand around anymore and do nothing.”

Fondness enveloped around his heart and his expression softened. She was so unapologetic of her spontaneous, hasty actions when it came to him.

“I cannot decide if you were extremely foolish in your recklessness or extremely brave.”

“And you might be a little bit biased,” Isla huffed. “I wasn’t going to sit around. Not when they’d told me they’d found you. I couldn’t Loki.” She looked up at him with such bright, earnest eyes, that Loki caved. He knew he would do the exact same, would tear apart any worlds to find her, if she’d been taken from him and harmed.

“I know,” he soothed. He cupped her chin with his fingers. “For I would do the same for you, my beloved.”

She all but melted in his arms. “That’s a new one,” she quipped as she relaxed against him.

“What is?”

“Beloved.”

“It is simply the truth,” he stated. “You are the one person I cherish above all others, after all.”

She hummed happily against his chest and sighed. “I’m so glad you’re okay, Loki.”

“I’m right here.” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

A hand snaked across his stomach and held on tight. “I’m not letting you out of my sight any time soon. I hope you know that.”

“Oh, my love,” he chuckled, “I am counting on it.”

A quiet yawn interrupted their conversation.

“Sleep, Isla,” Loki soothed. “We shall speak more once we awaken.”

She relaxed completely against him, and Loki felt his soul soothed, his mind at rest, for the first time in days.

#loki fic #loki fanfic #loki fanfiction #loki x original female character #likes and reblogs are much appreciated :)#you put your hand in mine #my fic #loki

5 notes · View notes

inkskinned · 8 months

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they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?

they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.

you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.

you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.

mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.

you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.

#writeblr #warm up #to be clear let me state again: i think you should id however you fucking want if it helps you seek peace #but there is a HUGE difference between being like '.... im undiagnosed but i think i might be X'#and a person who is like ''omg my intrusive thoughts made me buy a birkin!!!''#babe mine made me throw up bc they disgusted me so much <3 #mine made me hurt myself evenly. even when i wanted to stop. i have had to put my hand on the stove MULTIPLE TIMES #and again i'd rather have 10000 people get help for something they don't need help for #than have 1 kid NOT get help #but there has GOTTTTT to be a middle ground here #bc at this point it isn't ''raising awareness''#it's . fucking misinformation. and ''what this picture says about you!!!!!''#& yes! im mostly talkin about ppl who are actually disgusted and offended by signs of mental illness #but use it to defend THEIR actions #like babe you hate when kids start yelling in the walmart? but you YOuRSELF can yell?#you are depressed so it's fine you were cruel to your spouse?#but if your spouse spends too much time in bed she's a lazy fuck?#your partner needs to do everything for you bc of your history in trauma? but when SHE has needs she's being clingy and gross?#HUGE difference here between whom i think most of my followers are btw. like #all it takes is fucking anyyyy empathy or kindness . like.#anyway it's hard to explain im hoping we all know the person im talking about lol

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jamietwat · 4 months

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Jamie would 100% make Roy a dating app profile sometime after the Keeley rejecting both of them thing to try to help him move on and meet people when clearly he’s refusing to get back out there organically and he’d think he’s being so helpful and generous and the best wingman ever. He’d handpick what he considers the sexiest pictures he can find and put a bunch of shit Roy would never say thinking he’s being accurate and helpful and not even taking the clear opportunity to make a joke account to embarrass him or anything when he easily could have just made fun of him and chosen the worst pictures possible instead

And then he would be SO offended when it doesn’t go well when Roy finds out about it and is not properly appreciative at all

Roy thinks it’s Jamie’s account when he starts showing Roy girls like what do you think of her and asking him way too many questions when Roy has no interest in participating and has no idea why the fuck Jamie seems incapable of swiping without trying to get Roy’s opinions first. Meanwhile, Roy’s giving one word answers at first and then increasingly trying to brush him off when he doesn’t stop and then he’s just flat out like “Choose your own dates and leave me the fuck out of it” and Jamie’s like “Nah, this is your account. You should have a say” and instead of being grateful and appreciative and thanking Jamie for being oh so generous with his time and energy, Roy just scowls at him and growls out “You did not make a fucking Tinder profile for me” and Jamie just smirks and decides now is not the right moment yet to mention that he actually made him accounts on like three different apps because he wasn’t sure which Roy would like best

Roy barks at him to delete it and Jamie’s all whiny like “Come on, I spent a lot of time on these and you haven’t even considered it. Plus, even if you’re not ready to date someone yet, you’d still be less miserable to be around if you at least found someone to shag in the meantime”

And Roy’s like “Delete it. I don’t want a fucking Tinder profile.” And Jamie looks at him confused for a moment and then seems to have an epiphany as he goes “Oh, do you want a Grindr one instead? Hold on a second” and he flips to a different app and Roy’s too busy being baffled by the fact that Grindr is already on Jamie’s phone and that he’s having to sign out of his own account to try to make one for Roy to even stop him before he’s already trying to sign up for a new account and Roy goes “That’s not what I meant. I don’t want any dating app”

And Jamie pauses his typing and turns and looks at him so skeptically and so judgily and suddenly somehow Roy is trying to fight for his life trying to defend why he’s not looking for some random stranger to date or fuck around with

#Also a possibility: Jamie not signing out of his and asking Roy what he thinks of #guys and when Roy is like stop that why did you make me a Grindr profile why are you swiping on guys and even if you were WHY that one #And Roy’s trying to get the phone out of Jamie’s hand and when he does Jamie’s like stop that’s my account let me swipe #on him I was just trying to find out what kind of guys you’d be into before making yours 😔#+ Roy being so critical of Jamie’s taste in men like him??? seriously??? because the idea of Jamie messaging any of them bothers him #I may turn this into a RoyJamie fic at some point or possibly RoyJamie that has Keeley later too #Obviously Roy’s brain obsesses over Jamie’s Grindr profile and what he may or may not be doing with it just as much as he obsesses over #Jamie in general after this and he’s stuck trying to figure out how to casually bring it back up to him #(Spoiler alert: it’s Roy so it absolutely won’t be casual and yet Jamie won’t care that it isn’t at all #)#Jamie would GLADLY be the one fucking around with Roy but he’s also out here advocating for Roy to fuck in general #RoyJamie #Roy Kent #Jamie Tartt #Ted Lasso #Mine #Grindr fic #Putting that there for when I come back to this because I have a lot of thoughts #Once again I refuse to reread words and edit rn so I’ll just be bummed about the errors later

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sheepalmighty · 10 months

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Some more of that Chai joins Vandelay for half a day AU. Or just a picture of a kinda OOC Kale chilling if you wanna gloss over those comics. I'm still not sure if the colours are too garish or not.

These were mostly done with the premise of treating Kale's office like the hideout. I also really like how mundane, or familiar, the interactions between Chai and Kale can be in the game so I wanted to draw some stuff exploring more like that. But also, there's the ulterior motive of shipping so I included an out of context scene because I can't bother drawing the rest of it (though it seems like a huge jump in their relationship as a result. I think they're so big headed that they get stuck in a feedback loop of stroking the other's ego if an excuse comes up to do so)

#hi-fi rush #hi fi rush #hfr #kale x chai #kale vandelay #hi fi rush chai #hi fi rush korsica #i didnt spend any time finding a ref for kale's shoe sole so i made something up #besides that though i owe my life to all the uploaders of reference pics and interesting details in the game #sorry about the korsica comic i probably had no choice but to cram all those words into one panel. also i like the typo on that webpage #i gave myself an arbitrary deadline of the end of last month but found the pages to be too messy so i spent an extra week on them #whether that helped or not no one will ever know. i have to work on other things so im putting a hard cutoff now #i wonder if my want to draw perspective stuff freehand is a case of fearing what my limits may be or if its just a fear of the line tool #i adore that this game lets you add more to the music through your inputs (dashing on the beat etc)#just like the games i have thoroughly enjoyed from tetsuya mizuguchi #i seem to have too much time on my hands #thinking up scenarios is quick and easy to do while carrying on with the day to day #its when the brain decides you need to try to draw them that the problems occur #'tis mine

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that-foul-legacy-lover · 6 months

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Date Idea:

Frantically running through the woods trying to escape the threat of vicious cuddles that will inevitably catch up to you once the eldritch horror monster does <3

best date idea ever, right here!!!

Foul Legacy always gives you a head start, fluttering his wings in amusement as he watches you dart away into the trees, waiting for a few more minutes before he dashes after you! once you reach the middle of the forest you pause for a moment to catch your breath, only to hastily scramble up a tree when you hear the sound of twigs snapping and heavy footsteps. Legacy bursts into the small clearing, shaking some of the leaves from his hair and looking around for you, tilting his head this way and that until he catches sight of you perched in the tree and lets out a joyful trill. he reaches for you, directly underneath where you're sitting, and nods reassuringly

you lean back and fall, unafraid, landing perfectly in Legacy's arms with a small thump. he leans in to press his forehead against yours and at the same time you run your fingers through his coppery hair, smoothing out the tangles and brushing out any residual leaves and sticks caught in the tresses. your monster companion tilts his head back, silently requesting scritches and rumbling in delight when you comply and scratch under his chin. in one swift motion Legacy pulls you against his chest, pressing his masked cheek against the top of your head and letting out a content sigh as you brush your thumb over his mouth, smiling at the sensation of him delicately nibbling your fingers

a leaf falls from a nearby tree, and Legacy picks it up and places it onto your head, and you smile and begin to look around for another leaf to do the same

#genshin impact #childe #tartaglia #foul legacy #foul legacy childe #genshin tartagalia #genshin childe #genshin tartaglia #chit chat #anon #legacy does that thing where he puts his teeth around your fingers but doesn't bite down hard #just kinda holding you there like 'this is mine and i love you'#also that last line is something you would both do #just randomly handing each other rocks or pine needles or sticks #sigh my stomach hurts but i got to drink hot cocoa so that is nice :)#short scenario #other's stuff #good evening :)

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serial-kissing · 1 year

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Lewds taken with the first ever camera

#me #mine #ns/fw #nsft #you could put your hands all over me if you wanted to :)

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lowkis · 2 years

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you put your hand in mine - chapter 39

LINK TO READ ON AO3

rated: t

words: 4365

read from the beginning: tumblr | ao3 | fic tag

Chitauri flooded the area around Isla once she landed. Their shrieks pierced the air, as did the sound of screams, but she couldn’t see anyone in her immediate vicinity. A few feet away she saw Thor fighting off the aliens, swinging his hammer and battling against the things which had threatened Isla what felt like a lifetime ago.

But the screams were human.

The thought did not cause Isla to relax, nor did it bring her any semblance of comfort. In fact, it made her tense in fear and horror. The muscles in the back of her neck went stiff and when she turned her head to look around her they trembled.

They’d landed in a park. People were running in the opposite direction of them, herding their animals and children along with them.

But at least they were on earth. Where they’d landed would not kill her. It was not an inhospitable planet she’d recklessly thrown herself towards in an attempt to go with Thor to go after Loki.

“Lady Isla! Are you all right?”

Her head whipped round to locate Thor. She also noted his frustration. It seemed he didn’t expect her to leap into the Bifrost after him.

“Fine,” she called back. “I’m all right, Thor. Where’s Loki?”

“Across the way!” With a large backswing he caught the jaw of one of the Chitauri with a resounding crack.

Isla hadn’t really expected an answer to her question about Loki’s whereabouts if she was being perfectly honest. It felt almost too good to be true. She’d expected they’d have to go in search of him but Isla’s head swivelled round to try and finally find him.

Across the field Loki stood by Thanos’ side, both staring in the direction of Thor.

Thanos turned his back on them but paused. He said something to Loki who nodded stiffly, then disappeared in a swirl of grey smoke, leaving only Loki and the Chitauri behind.

“Lady Isla, be careful!”

“Thor?”

“I do not believe he is safe,” Thor warned. He grunted as he fended one of the Chitauri off with a deafening blow from his hammer.

Suddenly, the smell of ozone filled the air and thunder rumbled overhead, startlingly loud, overhead. It was so loud Isla had to clamp her hands over her ears to try protect them and block it out. A blinding flash of white filled the world around them, and Isla clamped her eyes closed. A pained gasp involuntarily escaped her as discomfort seared her eyeballs due to the sudden light. Thunder boomed so loud it rattled her chest and lightning cracked in the air above. When Isla opened her eyes the Chitauri were floored which left only her, Thor, and Loki standing.

At any other moment Isla would have taken the time to marvel at Thor’s might. She’d have been astounded by how easily he commanded lightning and channelled it, but as it happened, she was far too distracted. All that mattered was Loki.

Across the field, Loki smirked at them both, and Isla’s blood ran cold. Her stomach dropped and she froze in place. From behind him more Chitauri piled through a portal of smog and rushed towards them.

“We need to get him to Asgard!” Thor yelled as he readied his hammer.

Loki didn’t look well at all. He looked sickly and stood slightly stooped, as if in pain. His eyes… They were sunken in his sockets and those deep oceans she adored were swimming with something sinister. As was his smile. When it spread across his face, directed towards Isla, she shuddered but remained in place.

She wouldn’t back away from him. Not when he needed her.

A vibrant, false blue light swam within his irises, curling within the orbs. It was nothing like the oceans she was so accustomed to. There was no love surrounding him. No softness or adoration which had always made Isla melt. He was all sharp angles and equipped with a menacing energy.

When Loki turned his attention to her and smiled, Isla felt her skin crawl.

This was a stranger across from her. He wouldn’t look at her like that normally. He wouldn’t. Isla believed it so strongly she took a step towards Loki despite the protests of Thor behind her.

Isla didn’t know why the Chitauri left her alone and didn’t attack, but they did. She didn’t question it. All of her focus and attention was taken up by Loki.

But this wasn’t her Loki. Someone had done something to him. Something terrible. They’d warped him and turned him into something which wasn’t his true self.

As Isla approached, Loki’s smile faltered for a moment and there was a brief flash of… something across his face. It happened too quickly for Isla to discern the emotion behind it.

“Lady Isla! He’s not himself,” Thor called over to her. “I must insist you keep your distance.”

At least Thor could see the change in him too.

“We need to get my brother to Asgard. Heimdall!”

Isla took another step forward.

“Lady Isla,” Thor barked. “Stay back!”

She couldn’t. Not when Loki was so obviously hurting. Someone had done something to him, to his mind. They’d twisted him, creating something different. Creating something she knew he wouldn’t want to be.

Flashes of memories appeared within Isla’s mind. His soft smiles as he gazed down at her so tenderly. His mischievous grins as he teased and laughed with her. His joy as Maya eagerly played with him and welcomed him into her “pack”. His love as he cradled her head within his palms, dipping his head to kiss her with such a passion it left Isla breathless.

This person before Isla was not her Loki.

But he needed help.

“Loki?” Her call was uncertain but she wanted to see if she’d get a reaction. If she’d get anything from him.

Thor’s continued warnings remained unheeded. She continued forward and Loki’s mask slipped back on his face. His smile was wicked, a distorted thing that caused a stab of pain to shoot through Isla’s heart. His eyes glowed nearly neon blue as he lunged for her.

A rough hand grasped her bicep and yanked her backwards. Isla was lifted off her feet as the air whooshed out of her lungs with her surprise. Thor grasped her tight and jerked her away from Loki in an attempt to protect her.

“Do not touch her!” Loki snarled. He’d once been aiming for Isla, but now he conjured a long, golden staff with his magic and leapt at Thor on the attack.

Thor dropped Isla from his grasp and shoved her away so he could engage his brother in combat. He remained only on the defensive, blocking Loki’s precise strikes. They were moving as if in a sparring session, practicing moves they’d rehearsed together so many times before.

Isla watched on, heart still aching. Loki wouldn’t want to fight his brother. Isla knew he wouldn’t. He’d admitted as much to her before.

Loki’s… Loki’s eyes weren’t clear. They were neon blue still.

“Loki, stop it! This isn’t you!”

His head whipped around, eyes furious as they met Isla’s, but there was a lingering emotion behind it. She could tell in the way one of his eyebrows quirked upward for the briefest moment.

Hope.

Thor knocked him onto his back as he was distracted and pinned him to the ground.

“Thor, stop! Be careful!” Isla chastised harshly.

“Lady Isla, please stay back. He aims to hurt you!”

Isla shook her head as she fell to her knees by Loki’s side. Her fall was not graceful or light. Pain lanced through her kneecaps from the jarring impact. She tried to shove Thor out of the way with her shoulder, but he was too large and sturdy. “He wouldn’t hurt me.” She knew that as certain as she knew her own name.

Loki’s eyes snapped to Isla’s as he struggled beneath Thor’s restraint. But even then, he started to falter. Isla placed her palms on his cheeks to cup his face and keep him still. So she could keep his eyes on her.

“Loki,” she called to him gently. Slowly, his struggling grew weaker. “I know you’re in there,” she whispered. “I know this isn’t you. Tell us what happened. Tell us how to help you.”

He said nothing. Loki stared up at Isla in disbelief but the rage she expected wasn’t there. Instead, there was a silent plea for help. His eyes had cleared. There was no blue light illuminating them and his face turned pained.

“I do not know how,” he whispered.

Suddenly Loki’s eyes screwed up in pain. His head jerked out of Isla’s grasp. The force of his reaction was enough to knock his brother off him. Thor tipped to the side but quickly righted himself and picked up his hammer to go on the defensive if need be. But Loki was too busy clutching his head within his hands. He rolled from side to side and a pained sound escaped his mouth, followed by a loud gasp. When his eyes sprang open in pain they were swimming with blue light, but he didn’t attack them as he’d threatened to do so before.

Whatever was in his mind, he was currently battling against it to maintain control.

Isla’s chest ached and tears ran down her cheeks. He was suffering and she didn’t know how to help. And he’d already suffered so much in life. Loki didn’t deserve to do so even more, but it seems the universe thought differently.

It wasn’t fair.

Isla sat back helplessly, watching, and feeling her heart break within her chest. Loki’s eyes were wide as his chest heaved with breath. His eyes begged someone, anyone, to stop his suffering.

“Loki –!”

“Lady Isla!”

Grey smoke curled around her feet and without warning she was blasted backwards but an unseen force. The wind was knocked out of her when she landed a few feet away from Loki, but she was relatively unharmed.

“Such a weak creature.”

Isla’s eyes snapped open. She recognised that voice.

Thanos.

He appeared within the smoke. It swirled around his being and clung to him. He was shrouded within, and it did not relent or disappear.

“Release my brother!” Thor commanded of him, but the Titan just exhaled air through his nose in amusement.

“What has been done cannot be undone so easily.”

Thor growled. He did not accept that prognosis and levelled his hammer at Thanos. “Do it. Now!”

Thanos opened his mouth to reply but a blast of energy hit him square in the face and he took a step back in surprise. In that moment Isla had no idea where it had come from but it was extremely satisfying.

Isla tensed as somebody new (a… robot?) descended from the sky and levelled its hands, glowing with energy, at Thanos.

“Who’s the big guy?” a male voice she didn’t recognise asked the question.

No one answered him.

“All right,” the stranger continued, “well, you’re trespassing on Earth, so I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Thanos smirked.

The conversation was forgotten when Isla heard Loki gasp in pain. Her head whipped round and she scrambled to her feet to get to him. She almost tripped and fell but somehow, she rushed to his side without incident.

Thor was restraining him as they both now stood and Loki struggled. From the look on Thor’s face it appeared he didn’t want to do such a thing to his brother. He glanced helplessly at Isla.

“Loki?” Isla called as she fought back the tears.

“Get away from me,” he hissed. Anger twisted his face but there was a desperation in his voice.

Isla pushed down the hurt which surged in her heart at his sharp words and hate filled gaze, knowing it wasn’t the truth. She continued with her gentle movements and reassurances, offering him the kindness he always deserved but so rarely seemed to receive.

“Loki, we’ll get you help, I promise.” Isla peered up at him and brushed his hair away from his forehead gently. It was stuck there, clinging to his skin thanks to the sweat drenching his skin, and Loki jerked stiffly away from her touch. His eyes weren’t clear, but they weren’t flooded with neon light either. He was currently battling against it, trying to maintain control.

“Please,” Loki begged. His eyes were filled with pain, but they were his eyes. The eyes she loved. The eyes that always looked at her with such adoration and worship burning within them. “I do not wish to harm you.”

Isla cupped his cheek. “You could never,” she promised him.

“Isla, please. Distance yourself from me, I’m begging you.” He sucked in a deep breath. “I do not trust myself,” Loki admitted as bright blue swirled within his irises.

“Listen to him, mortal,” Thanos commanded, his voice amused. “He is... Not entirely himself.”

Isla shook her head in denial and ignored Thanos. She only spoke to Loki. Her eyes only knew his. “No,” she whispered to Loki, and Loki alone. “He is. He’s the man I love.” She ran a gentle hand from his temple to cheek as a tear spilled over from her lids.

“Thor, please.”

He looked uncertain.

“Remember what I asked of you, Brother,” Loki growled as he started to become more agitated. “Remember your promise to me!”

Thor’s expression suddenly turned pained. “Loki –”

“Enough of this.”

For a third time Isla was forced to part from Loki. Whatever it was that struck her, Isla didn’t see it. The next thing she knew she was on her back staring up at the sky.

And Loki was back in Thanos’ grip once more.

The robot was gone, Isla noticed absently. To where, she could not hazard a guess.

“Loki has joined my side,” Thanos smirked. “He has... agreed to assist me. And we shall be leaving. If I have to take you with us mortal to ensure his fealty, then I shall. Consider this your warning.”

“No!” Loki’s protest was quiet and weak but it rang clearly across the battlefield.

Hope swelled within Isla’s heart.

Before it chilled with dread.

Thanos smiled, showing all of his teeth. “No?” He hummed after considering the question. “Let us add a little heat into the mix again for further co-operation.”

He pressed his knuckle to Loki’s temple, who’s eyes flew open, coming to rest upon Isla’s, now watching on in horror. For a brief second their eyes met before Loki’s screwed shut in pain. A purple light glowed by the side of his head as Thanos unleashed a power on him.

He was torturing him.

“Stop it!”

Thanos didn’t. He smirked instead.

“Stop!” She scrambled to her feet and started to run. She would do nothing against him, Thanos may even kill her with one swipe of his hand, but she couldn’t abandon Loki to this. She had to try something. Anything.

Desperation is a powerful thing. A Chitauri soldier charged at her, screeching loud enough to pierce Isla’s ears, but she slipped past it. She ducked and sidestepped and kept on running. And the thing missed as it swiped at her. Isla had successfully dodged it’s attack.

This came as a surprise to everyone, but her luck ran out.

Loki’s body slouched to the side in Thanos’ grasp, exhausted and unable to hold himself upright any longer, after Thanos relented upon his attack. His fist moved from Loki’s temple but only so he could dismiss Isla. She was thrown backwards a few feet – knocked completely off her feet – and she landed with a hard thud on the grass below. Pain bloomed across her back as it contacted roughly with the hard ground and the impact jarred her spine. Isla’s back arched off the ground as she gasped and choked in pain.

But at least Thanos has stopped hurting Loki.

“Thor,” she managed to croak out. Her voice was barely audible after recovering from her brief flight but he understood her desire.

With an almighty roar – a battle cry filled with the promise of revenge and retribution – Thor was already sailing through the air towards the Titan.

Loki was let go and dropped to the side, discarded, as Thanos engaged Thor.

“Hey!” The unnamed red and yellow flying robot had returned, coming careening through the sky to join the fray. “Y’know, that was really rude knocking me flying like that. I didn’t appreciate it!”

They continued on but the world fell away for the moment. Because Loki opened his eyes blearily and immediately made contact with Isla’s.

But they were swirling neon blue and Isla’s stomach sank.

Before anyone could blink – not that Thor or Thanos were even paying attention while they were locked on their battle – Loki, in his exhausted state, lunged for Isla and snaked an arm around her waist. His hold was not harsh or tight though. It was secure. Isla was pulled quickly to stand and tugged flush against his chest as Loki rose with her on shaky legs.

In her dazed condition she forgot what was going on in the world around them and relaxed into his arms.

It felt like she had returned home.

“Loki, stop! Wait!”

Her eyes snapped open as Thor’s protest was ignored. Loki sent a bolt of green light towards his brother, and that was the last thing Isla saw from the battlefield as Loki teleported them both away.

* * *

Loki staggered upon their arrival away from the battlefield. He hadn’t gone far, just far enough to be out of sight and away from the ongoing battle. Far enough that Isla was now safe.

But she wasn’t really. Not next to him.

He set her steady on her feet and backed away almost immediately. Isla swayed, disorientated by the sudden teleportation, and Loki forlornly remembered how he’d assisted her with her ailment in the past. How he’d provided comfort and returned her wits to her.

That was too risky now. He would never attempt such a thing without being fully in control.

The entity inside his mind thrashed and bashed against the inside of his skull. It demanded to be let free, for him to let go and give into its urges. It wanted to hurt Isla, just as Thanos wished, but Loki would not let that happen. If it would be the last thing he did, he would ensure no harm would come to her. He would protect her until his last breath, and if Thanos followed through on what he’d promised, what he threatened, should Loki fail in the task set to him, that may come very soon.

But Isla first. He’d get her back to Asgard and ensure she’d stay there. He’d already called on Thor’s assistance to protect her should he no longer be able to. To ensure she lived a happy life. He’d asked his brother to put a stop to him if he dared threaten those he held dear, and, although hating the very thought of it, Thor had begrudgingly agreed.

“But that will not come to pass, Brother,” Thor had growled so certainly. He’d clasped his hand on the back of Loki’s neck and drew him in close, their foreheads almost touching. Familiarity and nostalgia had washed over him then, the gesture from their youth so familiar to them both. “It will not come to pass because I believe in you. You will be here with Lady Isla yourself, and you will both live a long, happy life together.”

Loki winced as the entity tried to force its hand and take over control once more.

“Loki?”

He risked Isla a glance and noted how she had a hand clutched to her head. It quickly fell away and she made to rush towards him.

“Stop,” he ordered. It carried the length of the space between them sharply. Loki put up a hand to halt her as his head now started to throb. His eyes fluttered closed against it without his permission.

Isla faltered and slowed, but she didn’t stop from moving closer to him.

“Isla, stop,” he snarled, desperate now. The pain in his head was growing.

“No.”

“I could very well kill you.” He turned and stood to his full height. He towered over her and glared down at the mortal who stood so defiantly against him. The fire in her eyes brought him surprise, but it morphed into irritation, because she wouldn’t listen. If she would just listen, she would be safe from him. “What about that do you not understand?”

“Do you want to?” Her voice sounded so small and quiet it made him falter. Loki managed to blot out the pain in his head for a brief second.

And in that brief second, his heart ached.

This was not what he wanted. This was not what she deserved. This was not what he deserved. He wanted to be on Asgard with Isla and Maya, in his grove, basking in the sun of the hot afternoon as they spent a lazy day together. Instead he’d been forced against his will to work for the Titan who was hell bent on making his life a misery. Who was trying to rob him of the life he so desired with the woman who loved him entirely, despite his faults.

“Loki, do you want to kill me?” Isla asked it of him a second time with a much stronger voice. There was a confidence held within her eyes, directed at him, which caused Loki to pause.

The invader inside his mind screamed the positive. It tried but failed to override his true answer.

“Of course not.”

Before Loki knew it Isla had slipped her hand into his. “I believe in you Loki. I love you with everything I am. And I want to help you. We all do.”

This wonderful woman… One who stood so certain by his side when he was a danger. When his resistance could snap at any moment and bring about the worst. She believed in him so strongly – Loki could see it in her eyes as he studied them helplessly – that he started to believe what she was saying. The voice in his head was drowned out and it felt like he could breathe easily for the first time in days.

He was not used to being rendered so helpless. So vulnerable. Loki hated it. He was of Asgard, a proud warrior, a prince, and yet he’d been made to submit to the whims of the Titan. Shame would follow him for the rest of his days. His resolve should have been stronger. He should not have given in so easily. But he’d been so tired. So tired from everything that had happened to him prior to meeting Isla. Exhausted and wrung out after being subjected to Thanos’ and the Chitauri’s torture. Both so different from one another in their methods, but both just as effective and painful. He could break at any moment and yet, she stood firm and unyielding beside him. A pillar of strength. One he would now draw on.

For he did not mind that Isla would see the more vulnerable parts of him. It was a realisation that came to him in that moment, but a truth he’d known for months.

No, Loki hadn’t wanted her to see him like this. So twisted and angry and trying to harm her and his brother. More shame piled on top of his heart, and yet she persevered and fought for him, once again, without question.

This foolish woman… Whom he loved entirely.

“Please, Isla,” he pleaded brokenly. “Please, do not stand so near to me.” He had to try one more time to push her away, but Loki still didn’t move or retract his hand from her hold.

“You won’t hurt me,” she replied with certainty. Her hand gripped onto his tighter.

“I do not trust myself.”

“But I trust you. Whatever you do, whatever happens, I know it isn’t really you.” Her eyes swam with tears despite the firmness of her tone. “I know you would never do anything to endanger me.” Isla brought both her hands to rest lightly upon his chest. Loki exhaled shakily as he tried to maintain his control. “I know that you love me, as I love you.”

“Isla…” Her name came out strangled from his throat. Emotion clouded him and restricted his speech, despite everything happening inside his mind.

“Come with me to Asgard,” she whispered. “We can fight this. Together.”

Slowly, Loki nodded his consent.

Movement to the left had Loki whirling and drawing Isla behind him, out of sight from whatever now approached. He put himself between her and it. Isla let out a yelp of surprise as he drew a blade and levelled it to the interloper. The entity in his mind screamed, finally satisfied at the bloodlust which surged in Loki’s veins and called for blood.

Thor stood from his crouch after landing. “Loki?”

He struggled to find the will to lower his blade but managed to do so. His movements were stiff when he finally vanished his knife.

“I got your message asking to meet here.” He still looked uncertain and on guard.

Good. Loki was glad the magic he’d sent Thor’s way before teleporting had reached him.

“It’s all right, Thor,” Isla called from behind him. She rounded his side and slipped her hand back into his. “He’s all right. But we need to get home.”

Thor nodded. “Asgard has come. Heimdall is ferrying our warriors through now to quell Thanos’ forces.” He cast his gaze up the sky. “Heimdall! We need your help and quick passage to Asgard!”

There was a silent pause before the rainbow light lit up the world around them.

Loki felt Isla give his hand a squeeze. When he looked down he saw nothing but pride lighting up her beautiful face and for a moment his heart stirred.

Taking a deep breath Loki squeezed her hand in gratitude. With careful, controlled movements he stepped into the light of the Bifrost to return home.

#loki fic #loki fanfic #loki x original female character #loki fanfiction #loki #you put your hand in mine #likes and reblogs are much appreciated :)#my fic

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kedreeva · 1 year

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We had a wind storm this weekend and these two took offense to the wind making Sounds and injured themselves. Artemis (bottom) bruised one side of her face up, but she's acting fine otherwise so she'll probably be back to normal in a few days.

Stan, on the other hand, bruised his left eye socket and was acting Off with a capital O. He's normally not very active, his legs don't work all that great and he can't catch a deep breath because of his messed up ribs and stuff, but he was lethargic and not eating/drinking normally, so I swapped him into Joslin's appt slot today and took him in.

It wasn't my normal vet again, and I told her that Stan is a hot mess, and she felt him up and told me well his abdominal cavity sounds weird, I said yeah he's got messed up air sacs. She goes well, one of his legs is atrophied more than his other, and I said was it his right one because that's the one that was worse as a baby and doesn't work right, and she goes yeah it was the right one. She goes, it feels like his kidneys are too big, this could be a case of gout, we can xray to look for it. Now, I know it's not gout, but an xray will either enlighten her on the fact that I'm not joking about how messed up this bird is, or it will show her what's actually injured, or both.

So she does the xray and she calls me into the back room and she goes well. it's not gout. his kidneys are actually small and I was feeling his messed up air sac. there's a lot wrong here, but I'm looking at his last xray and there's a lot wrong there, and most of it is the same. he got a little better in some ways and a little worse in other ways, but the issue is that it looks like he jammed his hip joint and injured it a little, possibly from landing wrong.

you know. an injury. like from the ultimate panic of the Wind Making Sounds.

Anyway he got some antibiotics against infection and some pain meds and we'll give him a couple of tube feedings until he's not feeling crappy. For now he's asleep in my room on a roost.