#'I need a fucking break' says guy who has not done Anything but sit with the thought of all the things they ought to do all day
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even my epic gamer chair in my epic gamer cavern cannot save me from the brain turn into soup event
#the cupola report#what I do believe the poets call Burnout#'I need a fucking break' says guy who has not done Anything but sit with the thought of all the things they ought to do all day#for the love of mothman save me from the january
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Novice - JJK (18+)
Pairing: Pornstar!Jungkook X Fem!Reader
Theme: PWP (porn with tiny plot), SMUT, pornstar au
Wordcount: 3k
Summary: The need of some extra money lands you on a weird job. But you are not complaining, not when you get to fuck Jeon Jungkook.
Warnings: Explicit sex, porn movie shooting, mentions of pros**tution, Jungkook is a smooth flirt, reader is nervous and shy, inexperienced reader, a little bit of flirting, missionary position, unprotected sex. NSFW!!
Minors are not allowed in this blog!!
Honestly, you have no idea what you are doing here.
You have been zoning out for the past ten minutes.
Keeping your focus trained on what’s waiting for you ahead is a little tough. Especially when it’s 2 degree celsius outside and you are wearing nothing but a thin camisole and flimsy underwear.
Even though the heater is in full blast, you require to have some clothes on your body to enjoy whatever warmth it has been offering.
You question your sanity once again. Are you really doing this? You out of all people? You - the goodie two shoes?
Yeah, the situation has been like that lately.
You are in need of some extra money because some fucker voiced-phised you and you, being dumber than ever, gave them your company card number and pin. Now you owe 200 million won to your company and you don’t even have 10% of the amount to do anything about it.
Right at that time, one of your friends knocked on your door asking for a favor.
“Please, Y/N! You are perfect for the role!” she pleaded.
“What are you even saying? I don’t even have any experience-”
“That’s exactly what we want - a novice.”
And you landed on the deal or role or whatever the fuck it is, in an exchange of 250 million won. By the way, did I mention that they have paid you 50% of the amount already?
It’s good money and a one-time opportunity. All you need to do is to get fucked on camera, get the pay and avoid showing your face around this place anymore.
As simple as that.
Or as simple as you thought.
But now that you are already at the set and ready to feature in a porn movie.. You are rather nervous.
Even though they assured you and added the “blurred-face” term to your contract, it’s nerve-wracking and for multiple reasons.
First, you have almost zero experience of sex. And must I mention that you never had an orgasm in your entire life?
Second, the concept of the film is complicated. There is only one male lead but three female leads (including you). But it’s not poly. The guy plays the role of a male prostitute, who pleasures three different women with three different stages of experience. The first woman is a pro, second one is amateur and third one, you, is a novice.
The first shoot was almost over when you arrived at the set and the cast went to prepare for the second shoot. Hence, you haven’t gotten to see the guy you would be having sex with.
And it’s unsettling.
You only heard his name but couldn’t muster up the courage to search him up. What if you don’t like his face and back off? You will have to repay the 50% of the advance along with a 5% of contract violation fee. And you certainly can’t afford to do that now.
So you held on, arrived at the studio as per instructions, got your clothes and hair done and now you are waiting for them to call you outside.
“Ms. Y/N?” A voice calls you from the door and breaks your reverie. “Let’s go” the staff smiles.
You stand up and follow her outside the green room.
As you approach the main shooting set all you hear is, well, moans and groans. And those get louder and louder with each passing second.
“Sit here.” the staff says. “You can observe what they are doing and prepare yourself in the meantime. We’ll brief you on the scenes once they are done.” she places a reassuring hand on your shoulder.
Too bad, ‘cause you are anything but reassured now.
“So this is how you like to be fucked? Like the bitch that you are? You slut!” the groan of the man invades each of your senses and you are shocked to say the least.
Is this how you are going to be treated here? You think to yourself. A shiver runs down your body when the sound of a sharp slap echoes inside the almost calm studio. Then another, then another. But the woman seems to enjoy it all. Her moans and whines keep getting louder.
You find your throat closing up with fear. Will you be able to enjoy it too? Or will you fuck things up?
You suddenly feel hot and sticky right between your legs. What the fuck? Are you really getting wet? Just with the sounds?
Squeezing your eyes shut you try to think of all the things you can do with the extra 50 million won.
“Great work, guys!” a loud cheer and sound of applause halt your activities. You open your eyes to measure the surroundings.
First you see the female lead coming out of the set with a cloth wrapped all around herself. She disappears with her assistant within seconds, even before you could see her face.
Then the man walks out, wearing almost nothing.
A towel is wrapped loosely around his torso and his bare body is on full view for you to enjoy.
You gulp.
The man is chugging down water as if he has been wandering in deserts for years. Your eyes fall on his Adam's apple at first, then on his glistening collarbones, his built chest, his toned abs, small waist and then on his torso.
Your anticipation makes you gulp again.
When you finally manage to drag your eyes up, you see him already staring and smirking at you.
And fuck! You choke on your own spit because you have never seen a more handsome man in your life.
Initially you thought Jeon Jungkook would be a pervert-looking middle aged ajussi but this guy looks like he is your age.
Your friends would actually pay to get fucked by a guy this hot. But you are getting it all for free? Must’ve saved your country in past life or something.
When Jungkook winks at you, you realize you have been staring at him for too long. And now you feel embarrassed.
Lord! What have you been doing!
“That’s it. I hope you have understood, Ms. Y/N?” The director peeks at you expectantly.
“I guess.. So.” You reply with a lot of doubts still playing in your mind.
“There is nothing to be nervous of,Y/N. We are not gonna send this movie to the Oscars, so you don’t have to think too much about your acting. Just do the bare minimum. Do what you are told. Jungkook will take care of the rest.” He gives you a kind smile.
You nod, reminding yourself that you need money and this is the only way.
“You guys will blur my face right?” you ask him with a low voice.
“We will. You can sue us if we don’t.” he chuckles.
You feel your nervousness and fears subsiding a bit… only to reach the peak in seconds.
“Hyung, are we good to go?” Jungkook appears from one of the green rooms, wearing his casual outfit - a white t-shirt with loose jeans.
He smiles down at you and you struggle to return his courtesy.
“Yeah, we are almost done here. Take care of Ms. Y/N, Jeon. She is very nervous.” the director gestures Jungkook to sit beside you.
Jungkook sits down with a respectable distance between you two and takes a tentative look at you before saying, “hyung, we have some time before the shoot starts right?”
The director nods a yes.
“Then.. let me talk to Y/N for a bit.”
“Yeah sure, go ahead.”
And they leave you alone with your co-star.
“Hey.” Jungkook says sweetly once you are alone in the makeshift secluded space.
“Hi.” you reply with a quiet trembling of a voice.
Jungkook chuckles at that.
“Cute.” you hear him murmuring under his breath.
“This is your first time, I guess?” He asks.
“Yeah and the last time as well.” you reply urgently, avoiding meeting his eyes as much as possible.
His eyes widen at your response, “why so?”
“I just need some extra money. So you know.. It’s a one time thing for me.”
“Oh..” Jungkook breathes out and then says, “then I will make sure it’s something you remember your entire life. I know you don’t have much experience but I won’t push you to do something crazy. I will be gentle, don’t worry. Just leave yourself up to me, relax and enjoy.” with that he rests one of his hands on top of yours and gives you a sickeningly sweet smile.
Now you don’t know how you are supposed to stay calm when your co-star’s mere presence is this nerve-wrecking.
“Okay. Cut” the director screams as you and Jungkook complete shooting the non-sexual scenes.
“You are pretty good, you know?” Jungkook slides beside you as you stand there preparing yourself for the big thing ahead.
“Ah. thanks. You are very impressive as well. I mean three times in a row is no joke. Aren’t you tired?” you reply, finally staring into his eyes.
Jungkook’s big doe, beautiful eyes almost defy the fact that he is in this business. Almost because once your eyes move lower on his body, you’ll have to admit that this is certainly his place to shine.
“I have a record of six times in a day, sweetie.” he smirks at you while winking at the same time. Your stomach flips involuntarily.
“Jungkook, Y/N, are you ready?” The director screams from his seat.
Jungkook raises his thumb to affirm him and then he looks back at you.
“As I said Y/N, don’t be nervous. I will take good care of you, okay?” Jungkook holds your hand again.
His sincere tone really melts your heart.
You nod, “okay.”
You don’t know how things will turn around but you are determined to enjoy it. You will not be seeing Jungkook anymore, anyway. So, why not take the advantage?
“Action!” the director screams.
When you look at Jungkook again, his doe eyes have turned dark.
From now on, you don’t have any dialogue. It’s only Jungkook who will do the talking, you will have to say yes or no as a response.
“So, you want me to fuck your virgin cunt because you are a bad bad girl. Is that right?” Jungkook speaks in a sultry low voice.
Your head starts spinning.
“Yes.” you reply.
He takes a step towards you as you take a step back.
“Oh. you got a voice I see.” Jungkook steps towards you again.
You know he is just acting but you can’t help but feel a burning sensation in your stomach. When you take another step back, your thighs come in contact with the bed.
He pushes on your shoulder gently, making you sit down.
“Then.. let me take care of you.” Jungkook says while sinking down on his knees.
He takes one of your feet in his hand and kisses on top of it. When his mouth wraps around your big toe, your breath hitches.
Were your feet always this sensitive?
He sucks on your big toe briefly, making it tough for you to breathe normally.
“Do you like it?” he asks, looking up at you, lips still close to your foot.
“Yes.” you mutter.
“Good girl.”
Jungkook places a kiss on your ankle next, then on your knee. His other hand kneads on your other thigh gently.
His mouth reaches to your inner thigh and hovers above your skin for a brief second. Then he kisses down, pulling out a moan from your throat.
“Lay down for me.” he requests and you oblige.
Jungkook’s fingers hook on the waistband of your panty and he slowly pulls that down revealing your glossy slit to not only him but to the entire crew.
But surprisingly you are not self conscious. Jungkook has somehow made it feel like it’s only about the two of you. And you like it that way.
“So pretty” he whispers, as if talking to your cunt.
His actions make you leak even more. You suck in a deep breath when you see him, lowering his face down to your pussy.
He places a soft kiss on your folds at first and then licks a stripe along it.
Latching his lips around your clit, he sucks on it. You lose your senses with that. Some incoherent words fly out of your mouth but you know you are not really making sense to anyone, not even yourself.
He keeps performing his ministrations, licking, sucking and occasionally biting down on your clit.
This is the very first time someone has their mouth on your cunt and you never thought it would feel this good.
“Umm.. you taste so good, sweetie.” Jungkook mumbles on your clit.
His tongue probes into your entrance, lapping up all the juices that you leak.
You grab the sheets to find something to distract the overpowering pleasure that Jungkook has been providing you with.
Your knees buckle, caging Jungkook between your legs.
Soon you feel something akin to a finger pressing down on your clit, then drawing slow circles around it, and then the circles are fast.
Your eyes roll back and your throat produces some sounds you never knew you could make.
“Fuck! So tight. I have never fucked a pussy tighter than this” Jungkook groans and it vibrates your folds.
When he pokes into your entrance again, while circling your clit, you find something coiling in your lower abdomen. Something so strong that you can’t contain it anymore.
And you have it. The very first orgasm of your life.
Your juices drain Jungkook’s mouth and chin.
“Fuck, sweetie!” Jungkook stands up, “look what have you done?” he says while climbing on the bed.
He grabs your camisole and tears it in an instant.
Even though you are in your post-oragsm glory, it shocks you regardless. You hear mumbles coming outside the set but then the director seems to say something that shuts everyone up.
As soon as your tits are on display, Jungkook grabs both of those with both of his hands.
He kneads the muscles while his mouth latches to your neck.
There is so much happening at the same time that you don’t know what to focus on.
Jungkook’s kisses drop down to your collarbone, bruising your skin and then to your tits. He wraps his pretty lips around your perked nipples, suckling those as if his life depends on it.
Your moans know no bounds. And you already feel heat building up in your stomach again.
You leave the sheets and grab Jungkook's hair instead. He groans in pleasure.
“You are driving me fucking crazy, sweetie!” Jungkook manages to say, “do you think you can take my cock now?”
“Yes.” you say desperately.
You are actually very desperate to have him inside you already.
Jungkook climbs down the bed and starts stripping. You stare at him as if he is the best mountain view in the world.
Your eyes widen upon seeing his cock and your first thought is if it will fit or not.
“Don’t worry. I will make it fit.” Jungkook replies as if reading your mind.
He then comes closer to you and lines his cock on your entrance. Putting his lips on yours he pushes his length in.
A loud earth-shattering moan comes out of your mouth, which Jungkook swallows immediately.
He grabs one of your thighs and wraps your leg around his torso, your other leg follows the suit. He takes the chance to accommodate his cock inside your hole comfortably. And once he is sure you have adjusted, he starts moving.
At first he is slow but then he starts picking up his pace.
“Does it hurt?” Jungkook mumbles in your mouth, not ceasing to kiss you all while.
“No. It feels good.” you spill the truth.
Jungkook groans at your response, emptying you for a second only to thrust his full length inside you harshly.
You whine.
He pins your wrists above your head and stares at you while fucking you dumb. His eyes are so dark that they demand you to keep staring back at them.
The skin slapping sound makes your head spin and the coil in your stomach starts getting loose.
“I-I am cum-” and before you could finish your sentence, you cum.
It Triggers Jungkook’s own orgasm. He pulls out your cock from your hole, pumps it twice and then spills his cum all over your body.
And all you could do is to stare at him dumbly with your mouth ajar.
“That was so unlike you, Jungkook.” you hear the director talking to your co-star.
Even though you don’t want to eavesdrop, you want to know what was not like him.
“I know, hyung. For the first time ever in my career I lost control.” he sighs “Y/N was… something else.”
Your face grows hot with the complement. But you know you are not going to see him again so it’s better not to think too much about it.
You grab your bag and head towards the exit, stopping to greet everyone on your way out.
“Hey” you greet him with a small voice.
Jungkook gives you a big toothy grin in return.
“Are you leaving already?” he asks, staring at your bag.
“Yes. I- um. Thanks, Jungkook. I really enjoyed it.” You tell him sincerely.
“My pleasure, Y/N. And honestly, I think I enjoyed you a little too much as well.” he replies scratching the back of his neck. The tips of his ears turn pink.
You giggle.
“That’s great. So… yeah. That’s it. I will take my leave now. Bye” waving your hands, you turn your heels to leave.
“Y/N?” but his voice stops you.
“Yeah?”
“Maybe if you don’t mind… Can we exchange numbers?”
“Umm.. maybe we can do that.”
Maybe this deal has more than just money to offer.
Taglist:
@phenomenalgirl9 @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @chimchimmarie @coffeedepressionsoup @meowstake @vonvi-blog @nochuel @chimmisbae @i-have-no-life-charlie
#bts smut#jungkook smut#bts x reader#jungkook x reader#bts fanfiction#jungkook fanfic#bts x you#jungkook x you#jungkook scenarios#jeon jungkook#bts jungkook#bts#bts oneshot
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Hi babes!! can you do a short fic about older/dilf!jk x reader with daddy issues? smutty and cute pleaseee <3
guys who are older | JJK
Jungkook x f.reader
smut | fluff | tiny bit of angst?
warnings: age gap, older!jk. daddy issues?, unproteced sex, counter sex, dom/sub dynamics, slight choking, afteracare, some cutesy stuff c:
(Is this short? I think so... I'm not sure omg I tried my best anon!! Hope you enjoy!)
Jeon Jungkook, 38-year-old divorced hot dad moved next door to you and fucking hell did he make you go insane. Let's just say, you gotten to know him very well.
Fucking Jungkook was the best part of your day, you two can't go a day without having sex. You made it very clear to him that he can talk to you about anything, it doesn't always have to be about sex! Although, the age gap was certainly something you always swore to him you can understand like an adult.
You're a 21-year-old college student, and he's 38, divorced, and has 2 kids, did you care? No, not at all. You were going to fuck him regardless.
-
"You're such a good girl for me." a beautiful moan coming from his mouth, his large member thrusting in and out of your tight hole, tattooed hands clamped around your throat.
All you did was knock on his door for some sugar, in the smallest skirt you know he loves.
Now, you're on his kitchen counter, legs spread opened, panties to the side like a whore for his cock to ram into your cunt. Whimpers coming from your mouth as his cock kept hitting the same spot in you over and over again. He knows how's to fuck way too well.
"Jungkook please, cum in me!" you let out a high-pitched moan as you felt his cock hit your g spot repeatedly. You then do a little yelp as his hand comes off your throat and up to your boobs, grasping them like stress balls.
"Fuck, you're going to be the death of me. I can be in this tight pussy all fucking day." his words send you over the edge, you can feel your orgasm coming close. a couple of rubs to your clit and you're releasing sweet cream all over his member just how he likes it.
-
Sex was great of course; the aftercare was just as good. He lets you know that he cares after fucking you into next week. He would make sure you had a nice spot to nap knowing you're such a sleepy head after sex, he made sure there was snacks for you to munch on.
His praise was everything to you. He knew you didn't have a father figure emotionally there for you while you were growing up, he caught onto your daddy issues really quick. Every time you brought up your grades, good or bad ones he'll always say how he's proud of you.
"Darling don't be sad, an 88% is fine. You studied hard and you did your work, you just need to understand it better. Look, your professor even left a note saying how lovely your handwriting is!" he pointed to the little sticky note, trying to cheer you up as you were letting out tears for not getting the perfect grade back.
"Well yeah I mean, I tried my best to make it look nice." sadness tinted in your voice as you leaned into his chest feeling nothing but warmth and comfort from him.
"I'm so proud of you baby, you're okay." his soft yet simple words are enough to make you break down. He picks up your body and sits down on his living room couch, your hands wrapped around his neck as his arms wrap around your waist.
Times like that were the best, knowing that you can have that comforting connecting with him, knowing that he wasn't just going to walk out on you. He was the older man you always needed in your life, and you're not going to let him go.
-
-
-
this was done pretty fastly lmao sorry if it's boring? Idk I'm not used to writing this way but I wanted to try it out! Like and follow if you feel like it, thanks for readinggggg ~~~ 🤍
- belle 🎀
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in every other life- s.r.
a/n: my soul is in this mf fic. there's a lil sexual tension lol! this is a behemoth of pining. so much fucking pining. this guy needs you like air wtf!! ALSO the poem is from a book, the lover's dictionary by david levithan.
summary: the love of spencer's life is also his best friend, and she goes on a few dates. he does not handle it well, internally. ft. metaphysics by our dear genius boy.
wc: 3.3k (holy shit)
While he recognizes that no direct injustice has actually been done to him, he can’t help but feel that it’s so unfair.
Because Spencer had never actually wanted much of anyone, actually. He was too much of a child through his entire education, and he’d found anyone that he’d even consider had almost instantly had dismissed him. He’d grown used to a life where companionship wasn’t a desire that crossed his mind.
But he wanted her.
His lovely friend, his coworker, who was the kind of lovely that it feels unfair you’d ever have to take your eyes off of. She’s the best person he’s ever met, the sort of wonderful you read about but never convince yourself you’ll ever see. He knows the shape of her, has her form memorized from watching, waiting for her to step into the office every day.
It was only a matter of time until he wasn’t the only one with his eye on her.
She’s actually absurdly easy to want. There’s nights where they watch something, often what he picked, Doctor Who or some other science fiction which would be great if he could focus on anything but her. Her warm disposition ruminating his too-small apartment with a kind of light that follows his every movement. He’d adore her even if she wasn’t, but it’s impossible to ignore how beautiful she is- the kind of pretty that you hardly expect to see in real life.
“Hey you,” her so-sweet voice is what breaks him out of his daydreaming, and he looks up at her lovely face smiling down at him. Fondness seeps through her tone, and it’s everything he can do not to preen that her first thought at seeing him is one of pleasure.
“Hey back,” he says, greeting her with a warm grin of his own. “How was your weekend?”
It’s a calculated question.
She had canceled their weekly movie night. He’d tried not to look too disappointed, like the idea of her next to him on his couch, of her nimble fingers raking through his unkempt hair while something nice, but far less wonderful than his company played in the background wasn’t all that was keeping him going. These days, and he knows it’s likely delusion, that she sometimes seems to gaze back at him with a similar sort of desperation, hooded eyes and tenderness.
It’s a liminal space, those nights. How can people be two things at once? You cannot be both in love and not. In the low-light of his place, under his blanket- it’s like Schrodinger’s experiment. She can’t love him like a friend and more at the same time- it resists the laws of physics. She is his best friend, a fact he knows as sure as gravity and the elements, and believing anymore than that- it’s asserting an impossibility.
When they’re alone together, though. It seems like the impossible exists.
But she’d canceled it, something she hadn’t done for the months they’d been engaging in their little tradition. So there had to be a reason. She sits next to him, her desk next to his.
She looks a little disheveled, only in an adorable way- but a little like she’s been busy, like her flow is disrupted.
“It was good! I finally went out with that guy Penelope’s been begging me to let her set me up with.”
It’s all that he can do not to freeze up.
Penelope has been trying to get her to go out with her friend Ben, which Spencer thinks is a stupid name, by the way, and secretly he’d been so, so pleased when she had brushed off the invite. It’s a dangerous thing, hope. He tries not to have too much of it, tries to savor the thought of her, of more for moments of particular vulnerability. It’s treacherous, to want her the way he does. He knows he can’t let himself feel it all the way.
And logistically- romance is not a reason for a valid reason for him to be panicking the way he is, but all he can think about is the physics. Two opposite things cannot be true at the same time.
“You know, studies suggest that even now, the majority of couples are meeting in person or through friends over any other medium.”
It hurts to say. She’s part of a couple, one half a whole that he doesn’t complete.
“Seriously? I’d have thought it’d changed by now. I guess it’s safer to date someone you know.”
She’d date someone she knew? Is that what she prefers?
“How did it go?” He hears Emily ask, and this conversation is already the bane of his existence.
“Guys, it really wasn’t a big deal! We got dinner, it was just a little thing.”
Spencer isn’t experienced in dating, but he does know that dinner is a serious date. Coffee is a smaller thing, but dinner-
Dinner means she got pretty for him. Probably picked out a dress for the evening, spent time on a carefully manicured look. Spent hours of her precious, rare, time on him.
It’s not fair how much he fucking hates this guy.
“Dinner is not nothing!” Penelope squeals, and he would love to share in her excitement, except it kind of feels like a piece of his heart is being shredded.
“Dinner means coming up to my place, have coffee, oh look who doesn’t have her hair done-“
Please kill me, he thinks. Please.
“Oh, that definitely did not happen.”
Thank god.
Except he can’t miss her flush, how her expression shifts- and he has the sickening feeling he’d be hearing that guy’s name again.
When they all settle around the table, her doe eyes focused on gruesome images that were the exact antithesis of her spirit, he couldn’t help but feel that even if it hurt, there was finality.
The cat was out of the box. Two things cannot be true at once, and so only one is- she does not love him, at least not the way he does.
Ben, is not in fact, going away.
If he had more willpower or self-preservation, Spencer would keep his distance from her, but the truth of it is that as much as he wants to be the person she turns to, her smile is most of why he can stand his job anymore.
It’s a Tuesday, and everyone is grumbling about being pulled in early in the morning, but he’s just happy to have a reason to leave the house.
“Spence!” He hears her excited voice carry, the pretty sound picking his ears up at once. “I got you coffee. It’s hazelnut, and it’s like, 90% sugar. You’re gonna love it.”
She beams at him, and he takes it in his hands. Their hands brush, and he tries so hard not to notice how soft her hands are. Her name is on the cup, and an unconsenting fantasy of her name meaning that he’s hers creeps into his mind before he can bat it away.
But her cup says Ben.
“Thanks,” he says her name, tries to sound measured and friendly. “Coffee date?”
She preens, and god, if this guy doesn’t get how lucky he is it might be thing thing that actually sends him over the edge after all these years.
“Just a quick thing, we were just in the same place and he bought me a coffee, I’d already gotten yours.”
If there’s two roles he can fill and he doesn’t get to pick, if he’s stuck with friends, he’s gonna be great at it, and he’s gonna be grateful. Because knowing her is a grace in itself, the kind of thing you should could yourself so lucky to have.
“He sounds like a great guy,” he hears himself say, “I’m glad you’re doing this.”
It’s the right thing to say. He’s sure of it. The thing he’s not sure of is why the smile she offers him doesn’t reach her eyes.
The next time he notices the cracks in their relationship, it’s when they’re out. She’d suggested this bookstore-cafe kind of thing, and he’d jumped at the thought, all of his favorite things in one afternoon. He’d felt foolish spending so much time picking out his outfit out, wearing the blazer she’d once complimented-he’d actually stuttered so hard in thanks that Morgan laughed for a full minute when she left the room- but she always looked beautiful, and he knows he sometimes pales in comparison.
“Oh, I love this one!” She thumbs over the spine of a thin book of poetry. She’s wearing a forest green sweater that hugs her frame, and a bracelet hangs on her delicate wrist. He loves looking at her, though he tries to conceal it. His goal of being a supportive friend includes trying not to make it that known how gone for her he is.
“I don’t read too much poetry,” he admits, “But I’m sure you have excellent taste.”
Her keen eyes skim through the pages intently, clearly seeking out a specific passage before stopping, gaze alight with recognition.
Her tone is molasses-sweet when she begins reading, and his heart skips a beat.
“When I say be my lover,” her voice hitches, reverent of the quote and he is reverent of her, “ I don’t mean ‘let’s have an affair. I don’t mean Sleep with me. I don’t mean Be my secret. I want us to go back to that root. I want you to be the one who loves me. I want to be the one who loves you.”
It feels impossible to look away from her, doe eyes practically sparkling in the low light of the shop, and there it is. His heart’s in his throat. Of all the things you could have told Spencer he’d experience, hearing her lovely voice wrap around the words be my lover in hushed tone, in sacred sweetness, would never ever be one he’d guess.
He’s not sure how he feels about the multiverse theory, but right now, he can feel all the versions of himself pressing right up against him. Can see into lives he doesn’t get to live, lifetimes where his love isn’t a buried, worn-out tattered thing to keep his ever-frigid chest warm. Versions of himself that in this very moment can smile back at her, warm and open and kind, and kiss her perfect smile.
Because he would be her lover. He would come home to her, spend the rest of his life building a home that she could fit into. It’d be easy, actually. She’s easy to imagine- nights of laughing in a shared kitchen, evenings where her company is a fine wine, sipped at leisure with the comfort of knowing it’s never going to slip from your grasp.
“I like that,” he says, voice too vulnerable for his own good, eyes unable to tear from the eye contact. “I really like that.”
In the root of it, he already is her lover. He is the one who loves her. She’s just not his.
It comes to a head on a Friday. It’s a few weeks from he book shop, and the air feels heavier between them now. The last handful of Fridays he’s sat with the ghost of what used to be their plans, empty time lingering where in its’ place used to be her company.
He doesn’t know if she’s been with Ben. He tries not to think about it.
The sound of her voice lingers in his mind, sweet and bitter in his mind like old lemon candy, the kind his mother would save for special occasions. He’d spend any amount of money he had to hear her lovely voice say those words to him out of the context of a poem.
At work, they seem almost normal. Like one of them wasn’t desperately in love with the other; like a genius and his lovely, incredibly empathetic, kind best friend. In the field, their actions flow together seamlessly. She is always the first to listen and to understand (and god, isn’t it intoxicating to have someone meet you in understanding) and there is nothing to suspect is off.
But there’s still a cloud lingering. The poem- the soft melody of her voice curling around the words, the request of it all, the way she had sounded so wanting- and then, there’s Ben.
She doesn’t mention Ben to him, of course, but Penelope does. Penelope, all bows and bright colors and cheeriness keeps bringing the absolute worst news to Spencer with a smile on her face.
He’s taking her out for drinks! Oh, he’s reading her favorite book, do you know what it is?
This anger isn’t an emotion that he’s familiar with. A roar of possessiveness, the bite of it not tempered at all by rationality. Has he touched her?
It seems almost a tradition at this point when she shakes him out of his jealous storm of thought.
“Spence?” she muses, “You alright?” They’re alone at his desk, everyone having fled for their own evening and weekend plans. This was one of the Fridays that she had agreed to spend with him, and he wonders if he’ll be able to handle the scent of her shampoo so close after such a lapse of the sensation. Will all of his judgement go where he can’t follow?
“Yeah,” he says, tucking his papers into his bag, “I’m excited for tonight.”
His place is actually a short walk from the office. He’d been embarrassed to show her the place at first. It’s all function over fashion, and a bit cramped, but she’d looked at as though it was made of something more, something good. She didn’t even tease him. It had actually been her idea, to start these movie nights.
Ironic, really.
The walk was pleasant, the weather a little frigid but still nice, and she looks beautiful under the setting sun. It’s incredible to him, how her lashes catch the light and make her irises look like polished stained glass. His favorite color. Through the looking glass of another life, he sees a version of himself that gathers her up in his arms. In this daydream, she grants him one of her smiles that seems to carry its’ own light, and leans into his body like it’s the only thing that keeps her steady. It’s so clear. On the other side of the veil, he kisses her reddening nose, and keeps her warm himself.
In the here and now, Her coat is long, and hangs low by her ankles. It’s an elegant thing, like the woman who wears it, and Spencer would be grateful for a lifetime of just looking.They stop in front of his door, some invisible force stopping him from entering.
She sheds the coat inside his home. It smells like the candle she got him for his birthday, a reminder of her grace. He’s saved a bottle of wine for them, a sweet thing for the sweetest thing he’s known.
“I’m sorry,” she speaks the warmth of the beverage on her tongue, and it should feel abrupt but it doesn’t.
“What for?” He can’t imagine what she would have to apologize for.
“I know things have been…off between us,” she says carefully, considering the phrasing of each word. He watches her with a reverence, his hazel eye brimming with affection with nowhere to go. “You’ve been so great through it.”
Her legs are thrown across his own, and she’s dangerously close to sitting in his lap, but not exactly. He’s missed having her this close, the last time she’d been in his orbit was before she’d had reason to be gone. She smells floral. He fights With limited filtering through his already treacherous mind he thinks, He can’t take this from me. I still get her like this.
“I’m not entirely sure what it is.”
She slowly shuts her eyes, go for a moment to somewhere he can’t follow. Her cheeks are rosy from the cold.
“This whole Ben thing.”
“Oh.”
Logically, it always had to come back to this. Someone else had the good fortune to know her like this, to be the person she reads poetry to in deep meaning to.
He’s been stealing moments from someone who’s not his to take them from.
“I don’t even know how I wanted you to react.” she murmurs, staring at the rim of her glass.
“I just want you to be happy” His voice is something low, grit in the sound of it. His hand rests on her thigh. There’s warmth blanketing the room and he wants to kiss her. He wants to kiss her all the time.
She laughs, but it’s not her normal laugh. It’s tinny and a little bitter. He pushes his luck, and reaches out to brush the side of her face, moving the hair but still holding her face. Her breath smells like strawberry wine and temptation.
It feels different tonight. Low light and tension that could be sliced with wire. Every part of her is in reach, and something in the air makes all of this talk of relativity, of physics, moot.
Like maybe he’s not in the only world they don’t end up together.
Her face is warm and soft under his touch and he loves the sight of her. He’s never touched her like this. Every point of contact feels electric, addicting.
“What is it? The Ben thing?” He doesn’t know what he’s expecting to hear. What he wants, is for her to tell him that it doesn’t matter anymore, that she picks him-
“I only went out with him the once.”
“What?”
“I told Penelope I was still going because it made her happy and she said I couldn’t keep going to your apartment and reading you poetry and call that romance.”
Romance?
Wasn’t it romance, though?
Her eyes widen in something akin to horror.
“Shit, Spence- I’m sorry, that is so fucked of me to say-“
“You,” he tries to say calmly, “aren’t going out with Ben.”
She blinks.
“No?”
He has spent so much time living in other lives, existing in the minds of versions of himself he wasn’t lucky enough to be. Drinking coffee imagine a life colored in her presence, falling asleep yearning for the presence of something lighter than what he has to carry.
He can’t exist in two places. That was the entire basis of the experiment.
He moves his other hand to hold hers, and somehow she’s shifted to being on top of him, and he looks up at her with unwavering desire.
Spencer isn’t good at wanting people, but it comes naturally with her. Less of an action and more an urge, a course of motion to which he is at the mercy of. This is what leads him to close the gap between them, and kiss her. It’s
Her delicate fingers run through his hair, and she can’t be close enough, please, and he could spend the rest of his life kissing her, actually. He probably will spend the rest of his life thinking about the soft sigh he pulls out of her.
“I want it to be me,” he manages to say through shallow breath, still so close that his lips brush hers every other word, “I want to be the one you pick. I want it to be me.” His hazel eyes seem to shift in the moment, swirling with emotion.
She brushes a lock of his overgrown hair out of his face. He normally shaves when he sees her, but he’d been so busy that he’d forgotten, and felt embarrassed of it now. That is, until she runs her index finger along the edge of his jawline.
It’s then she leans down and kisses him again, pliant and good, his hands around her waist. He breathes a prayer into her mouth, one that hopes that she never ever comes to her senses about him.
“Spence,” she says, her voice golden silk, a kindness. “There was never anyone else to pick.”
#spencer reid#spencer Reid fluff#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x fem!reader#criminal minds#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#criminal minds fanfic
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Someone like you
Chaewon (ex Izone, Le Sserafim) x Male Reader
Length: 17666 words
TW: Abusive relationship
Next part
Pain, that's all you can say about yourself. Why does falling in love always have a risk of heartbreak? Sometimes you wonder if the risk outweighs the gains. For your particular case, it doesn't, it never has. “...... and then I came home to see him decorated the whole place with flowers and candles. Isn't he so romantic?” Right, flowers and candles, you know where that was going. “Yeah, that sounds great Chae”, It felt like your heart was being plucked out of your heart and set on fire. Why is your love stronger than your heart, if only your love breaks before your heart does. “He's so romantic sometimes, I love him so much-, Awwww”, Her cries of pain distract you from the twisting feeling your chest feels.
“I'm sorry Chae”, You steady your hands and continue stitching her wounds. “It's fine, thanks for this Pup, I owe you a lot”, You cringed a little hearing her nickname for you. “Chae we're both grown up now can you please stop calling me that?” It's a cute nickname, which only hurts you more realising that this is as far as you can get from being with her. “No, you will always be the cute little puppy”, Yes you are, who's a good puppy? The guy who keeps simping for his crush even after she's been in a relationship for a year now. It's you by the way, you're the good puppy, so loyal to your master. “There, all done, now just the bandages”, A good puppy who has graduated from medical school, hey that means you can take care of your master even better now. “Is it really okay for you to do this for free?” What dog would ask their owner for money? Alright let's lay off the dog jokes, you're still lame by the way.
“It's fine, they're cheap”, Even if they aren't, you wouldn't charge her anything right? “Thank you, I really mean it. I don't know how I can even repay you pup”, Chae grabbed your arm, her warm palm felt like a red hot iron that scorched your skin. “Yeah, it's fine. It's my job to care for people's lives after all”, You tried your best to smile at her, to show her you're doing this out of the goodwill of your heart. “You're just so, kind and stupid sometimes. If only he can be more like you”, She muttered the last part but it was loud enough for you to hear it. It fucking hurts, so fucking painful hearing something so ignorantly brutal. “So, how's work? Everything is fine in the hospital?” If Chaewon noticed your pained smile then she doesn't show it. “Nothing interesting is happening so far, although there's an offer for a transfer. I haven't read much about it but it will be a year long ‘voluntary work’. It's not fully voluntary though because we're gonna get paid decently, and we're gonna be working with a few other volunteers from all over the country”, Chaewon tilted her head curiously, “Are you gonna take it?” You were surprised to hear her words. It caught you off guard so you didn't get to hear a little hint of anxiousness in her words.
“I don't know, it's interesting”, Maybe that's what you need, a time away from your crush. “Oh, I'm sure you'll do great in it”, Chaewon smiles encouragingly, which only hurts you even more. Honestly, what were you expecting? Did you think she would ask you to stay here? Tell you how much she needs her and doesn't want you to leave? Come on bro, she's not like that. “Yeah, I was thinking about taking it”, You didn't really mean that when you say that, however seeing her genuine encouraging smile made you really consider it for real. “Well, I need to go home, thanks again for today pup, I owe you a lot”, Chaewon stood up with a smile on her face ready to leave. “Yeah see you later Chae”, You just sit there watching her leave your place while a storm is brewing in your mind.
“Fuck”, You muttered to yourself, completely unaware that Chaewon is also cursing herself once she left your house. “Goddamnit pup why do you have to leave. You idiot”, The stinging pain in her arm is gone, covered with the sour mood she felt in her heart. “It's been years already and you're still waiting for me”, Oh, she does notice your feelings it seems. Of course she does, the two of you have known each other for years now. The memory of your meeting plays very differently between you and Chaewon's mind. For her she remembers how clumsy and cute you were, stumbling over your own words, overdosing on teenage hormones because of talking to a girl. For you it was an embarrassing attempt at making a friend on your first day of highschool, something that would keep you up at night with cringe.
“Idiot”, She kicked a can on the road out of frustration, but it's not enough so she started stomping on it with the hope of burying down the guilt that's building inside her. It's not that she wanted to use you, but…… she's just busy, or so she thinks. Her boyfriend, uhhhhh his name is irrelevant, is a hassle to deal with. She loves him, he's kind and caring and honest and cute and kind….. it's just sometimes he loses his tempers. Sometimes he would, lash out and accidentally hurt her, but he never meant to do so. It's getting better now (It's not) his outburst is getting less frequent (Pretty sure the ideal and normal frequency is 0) and he always tries to make it up to her (With empty promises and lies).
Chaewon stops stomping on the poor can and just stares at the sky, finally realising it won't help erase the guilt she's having. On her defence she wanted to help you get over your crush for her. She cares about you, and she wants what's best for you. She wanted to introduce you to her friends, let you fall in love with someone who will love you back. Sometimes she thinks about a future where you date someone else, then you and her can be platonic friends, a brother from a different mother. It's just that, when her boyfriend got mad, and she got hurt, she can't run to the hospital because they would pester her about it. She can't run to most of her friends or family because they would also pester her, you're the only one who can help her. You were, the only one who would enable her. Young people, they're so dumb sometimes, both you and her included.
“Haaaaa, why can't we just be friends”, Chaewon sighed, she's not blaming you for your feelings, it would be hypocritical for her to judge someone's feelings when she's being chained by her own feelings. When you told her about the project she wanted to say don't take it, she wants you to stay here, to help her. Thankfully she recognises how selfish she is, and encourages you to leave, to get over your own feelings. It hurts, it feels wrong, seeing you break away from your feelings. Perhaps she yearns to have the courage to break free of her own chains. “I'm back”, Chaewon put on a smile as she got back to her place, “Welcome back babe, how was your day”, Of course for now she can only put on a smile and let herself fall deeper into the abyss.
“Are you sure? You know it won't be an easy trip right?” It's been a week since that talk with Chaewon, and today you are finalising your proposal of joining the volunteer work to your boss. “I'm sure sir, beside…… I need some time away from this place”, Is running away considered a solid reason for joining a harsh voluntary work? “Hmmm, well, if your only reason for taking this job is just a getaway from whatever shit you're dealing here, I suggest don't”, You flinched hearing your boss. “I think I can handle the job boss”, You tried to sound tough, “You know, I always pity you”, That's kinda harsh. “You are a good guy, smart and very nice. You're just too nice I sometimes hope you didn't get scammed and used by other people”, Yeah that sounds kinda familiar alright.
“I want to try something new. I think I can handle the work, and it might help me too”, If you say that with a little more conviction it would sound cool you know. “Haaaaa, youngsters with their self-finding journeys”, He shook his head and signed the form, “Comeback here, in one piece”, A smile form on your face before you quickly nod and bow to him. It's odd, you don't exactly feel excited about it, but you don't feel scared or disappointed about leaving everything behind, you're just numb to it. “Stop daydreaming and prepare the other documents you need”, Your boss slammed his hand on the desk waking you up. “Ahhh right, thank you boss”, He shook his head and sighed seeing your awkwardness, “I really hope you didn't get shot out there”, He's joking right?
After submitting the rest of the paperwork you went back home, had a nice call with your mom where she absolutely desecrated you with her words. “Are you insane? You're doing volunteer work in an active warzone?” Holy shit you are? “I'm not working in the warzone itself, I'm just a civilian mom. I'll be at the refugee camp, away from the battlefield”, That's the word you keep repeating to her for hours before she finally calms down. “Just, tell me it's not because of that Chaewon girl”, 2 hours and 16 minutes into the call your mom finally asked the right question. “No, of course not mom”, You can't lie to your mom, she's the one who teaches you how to lie to your dad. “Are you an idiot? Did I spend months carrying you around and 20 years plus feeding and taking care of you just to have you die somewhere because of a heartbreak?” Oooffff, why can't you be more like your mom?
“No mom, it's I think I-”, A knock on your apartment door can be heard, “Hey pup, are you there?” Speak of the devil. “Mom I'll call you later”, Your voice came off shaky and anxious, the time has come to test your resolve of running away. “Yeah, just a second”, Take a deep breath, calm your nerves and try not to lose your composure.
“What happened?” Come on now, you know what happened, “It's not a big deal, just a scratch”, You reached out and grabbed her face, inspecting her cheek. Chaewon smiles seeing your concerned face, you've always been awkward and shy around her, except when she's injured. When she got a scar you would just disregard your shyness just to make sure she's fine, it's a cute gesture she always likes about you. “I guess, it really is just a scratch”, You sighed relief seeing it wasn't a deep cut, then you realised how you are holding her and immediately let go as your face turns into a tomato. What happened to maintaining your composure?
“So?” Chaewon just tilted her head cutely, “Are you gonna invite me in?” That's a pretty ambiguous question, would you let her in again? “Right come on in”, You're hopeless sometimes. Chaewon sat down at your living room, silently noticing the packed up bag you had in your room. Her heartbeat rises as she realises what it means, some part of her wants to deny it but the other part knows that your leave was inevitable. “Tea?” She smiles and nods as you go and prepare her some of her favourite tea, of course you have her favourite tea at your house. “So, what happened?” You asked after giving her a warm cup of tea, “You know, the usual. He had a stressful day at work, I was also kinda tired from mine and we just clashed”, Usually the ‘clash’ that happens is between her and his fist.
“Well, you know what I want to say right?” Chae shrugged before she stood up and walk towards your cat, “Little Luna is getting fat aren't you?” Chaewon picked her up and started pinching her stomach. “She's gonna cut your face you know that right?” Chaewon laughed and sat back next to you while still holding Luna. “Well, I'm sure you trained her not do that right?” Her smile is such a deadly weapon to your conviction. “It's a cat Chae, you don't train them, they'll train you”, And to hammer this point Luna let out a loud meow and scratched Chaewon's hand. “Luna '', You scolded the fat cat as she jumped off Chaewon's lap, “Hehehe, one day I'll make her enjoy my cuddles”, Chae laughed as you examined her arm.
“We should clean this up”, It's really not that bad, it's just a little cut on the epidermis, “It's really not that deep bro”, You flicked her head and cleaned up her hand as she teases you for over your perfectly reasonable hygiene. “So, can I crash the night here?” Her question made you stop in your tracks, not because it caught you off guard, but because you know she only asked if things really went bad at her place. “Pup?” Chae was taken off guard seeing how quiet you've become, “Chae, I…… can't do this anymore”, She raises her eyebrow hearing you. “Do what?” You sighed and finished cleaning up her hand before sitting in front of her.
“I can't, keep letting you hurt yourself because of-”, You start talking without thinking and Chae immediately bites back, “Stop it, I don't want to hear that from you”, She felt awful for raising her voice but she really doesn't want to hear those things. “Well this might be the last time you ever hear it from me ever again”, You blurted out, making her heart stop for a moment, “What?” Her voice sounds squeaky and vulnerable. “Chae, I'm leaving”, Seeing her suddenly had glassy eyes made you second guess yourself. “For how long?” It's hard for her to accept it, “The volunteer work is one year long, but it might be longer since I'm gonna arrive early to have some field training”, You can't look her in the face, it's painful for you to see her so hurt with the notion of you leaving.
The two of you sit in silence for a while, Luna moves to your lap and starts purring as if she realised you're having a tough time right now. “Is it-”, Chae’s voice broke and she took a second to calm herself down, “Is it final already?” Yet it still came out all squeaky. You didn't answer for a second, hearing her concern for your leave felt nice. It's a dangerous bait, she's giving a false hope that getting her is actually plausible if you stay here. “Yes”, "Oh you actually didn't take the bait, good job, “I already submitted the required paperwork and they already approved it. My flight is in 3 days”, In your mind, you just think Chaewon is trying to use you.
After all this time you finally opened your eyes and saw that she's out of reach, she was never going to like you the way you like her. Obviously you don't really see the complex feelings she has for you but hey at least you're taking a step in the right direction. “How long were you planning to keep this away from me?” Seeing her being aggressive made you feel bitter, you hate seeing her with this new lens. “I didn't know how to tell you, besides…… I didn't think you would care”, Suddenly Chae grabbed your face forcing you to look at her.
“You're my best friend, of course I care. Just because I encourage you to go doesn't mean you should just leave without saying anything”, It's painful, finally realising that the person you care the most is inherently toxic. You're not saying that she's in a toxic relationship because she's also toxic, but she has certainly dragged you into one because she is selfish. Chaewon needs you, because you're the only one who would enable her Stockholm syndrome. “It's just…… I don't know if I can face you”, You pull back your head away from her grip and look back at Luna who's acting cute to cheer you up. “What was that supposed to mean? You can't tell your best friend for, 8 or 9 years that you're leaving? And you just want me to accept that suddenly you went missing without saying anything?”
“Chae….. you know I liked you right”, Silence fills the room, you anxiously wait for her responses, hoping that somehow she can break the new image you had for her. Yet the silence was long and the curiosity you had is too loud to ignore, so you raise your head and look her in the eyes. She wasn't surprised, or confused, or angry, she just had the look of understanding, “I know”, Those words flowed out of her mouth. It was so quiet that it was barely a whisper, yet it echoed through you like a thunderclap. When the ringing subsided the only thing you can hear is the loud crash of your heart breaking into a million pieces. She knew, this whole time she knew about it and never said anything. Had she enjoyed watching you squirm and dance for her while your feelings laid bare like an open wound? Was it some cruel game to her?
Chaewon felt regretful, seeing your heart break right in front of her is tormenting her conscience. It's inevitable, yet she was not prepared for how painful it was for her as well. “I know, and I'm sorry I never said anything-”, Chaewon saw you stand up and stop talking. “I….. god, this whole time?” Tears start to flow down your cheek, “I never meant to use you, I just, don't know what to say to you”, Chae reaches for your hand, her touch sending shivers down your spine, but not the comforting kind like it used to. It feels calculated, manipulative, a stark contrast to the warmth you once associated with it.
Chae sees the disdain you had in your eyes and it made her scared. Scared of losing you, scared of seeing you lose your temper, and worst of all, scared of having to confront the consequences of her actions. “Pup-”, You pull back your hand making her flinch, “Don't call me that. You….. you like seeing me like that didn't you? Being a good puppy, chasing you around, wagging my tail like a loyal dog”, Your words came out as a thunderous roar that made her squirm in her seat. “No, of course not, please I'm sorry, can we talk this out first”, Chaewon reached out to grab your hand again before pulling you to sit back down. “I….. I can't, you're just…….. I….. this whole time…..”, You just keep muttering to yourself. “Please sit down, I'm sorry I messed up okay? Can you please hear me out first?” Chae pleaded as tears also started to pour down her face. Those tears, they're real, but not to you, you think you know better and managed to see through her ‘manipulation tactics’. You grabbed your phone on the table and just stormed off the apartment, running as far away as you can from her.
Chae wanted to stop you, to reach out and grab you, yet her vision is blurred and she can't even see you leave the front door as the floodgates burst open. She can't even hear you slam the front door as she starts to cry her heart out. Her actions can only lead to one outcome, and she knows the longer she stalls the confrontation the worse the fallout is going to be. Unfortunately in her delusion she hopes that one day you'll just let go of your feelings and everything will be good. Your apartment, once a safe haven for her, is now empty and devoid of your warmth. The ‘beautiful friendship’ built upon the unspoken words between the two of you has crumbled like a house of cards by a single gust of wind. Hours passed away before her tears finally dried out. Chaewon lay down on the couch devoid of energy, all she can do right now it's just text you hoping that you'll answer her.
You on the other hand are being absolutely ripped apart by your mom, “You ran all the way here?” Her voice boomed around the house. “Haaaaa, Haaaa, haaaaa, nooo……” Your whole body is drenched by sweat, your mom's place is like a 30 minute train ride and you just ran there like a mad man. “You idiotic rascal, tell me what you did”, Your mom starts slapping you as you are dying from exhaustion. It took a while for her to calm down and give you a drink. Throughout your recollection of what happens your mom keeps the same expression, it was the ‘I told you so’ expression. Once you finished the two of you just sat there in silence, you wanted to say something but words just couldn't come out of your mouth. “Haaaaaa, go take a shower and get some rest darling, you're all sweaty and smelly”, You nod before going back to your childhood bedroom.
As you finish a long hot shower you see Chaewon has messaged you almost a hundred times already alongside a few missed calls. You just stare at the notification, too scared to open it. In the end your fatigue overtake you and you slowly drift off to sleep without reading her texts. The next day you silently join your mom at breakfast, she sees that you're not ready to talk yet so she just silently acknowledges it before giving you farewell as she went to work. The day passes by slowly, it doesn't help that you were just laying down on the bed as you rethink what happened last night. Is Chaewon really a toxic bitch, or was she just a product of her environment. Are you seriously trying to give her a pass for what she did? Okay yeah she's your friend for years now and you've seen her slowly turn from this confident and unapologetic girl into a meek abuse victim. However does that excuse her behaviour of leading you on for years?
No, I need to give her the benefit of the doubt. I need to hear what she has to say at least. One chance, after all I'll be gone soon and I might not be able to see her again for a long time.
Alright, if that's what you want, just know you might lose yourself in her eyes again. “Mom, I need your opinion on something”, That's not exactly a polite way to greet your mom when she gets home. However she nods and follows you to the living room where you recounted your dramatic talk with Chaewon. “Darling, look at me”, Your mom grabbed your hand, “You are being an idiot a hundred percent”, Jeez thanks mom. “But if she is as manipulative as you said she was then it's also not fully your fault. After all, you can't really blame a victim fully for being taken advantage of”, Hey that's not an encouragement for your stupid idea. “Yeah, you're right mom….. I guess a toxic environment would make toxic people right?” Fucking hell you're hopeless. “What? Are you letting this slide already?” Thank fuck your mom wouldn't let such stupidity pass, “No, I just…. I guess I want to understand why she did it. After all I'm gonna be away for a year at least and if I don't get this straight then I might spend the better part of my time being distracted by her”, That's not a convincing argument, at least not for your mom.
“ARE YOU BEING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW? You just said she's a manipulative bitch and now you want to run back to her with the risk of you falling for her trap again?” It felt kinda nice, channelling the pain you're having in your heart with your mom's beating, however you should stop her before she accidentally kills you. “Mom, I just want to leave this place with some peace in mind, okay? Can you just trust me this one time?” The answer is no, but she took a deep breath before she examined you slowly. “I'll trust you just this once, how do you plan to meet her again?” Relief and determination washes over you seeing that your mom has agreed to let you have closure. “I'll text her tonight hopefully we can have lunch before I leave in two days”, Solid plans, surely nothing bad would happen. “Fine, now go order something for dinner, I'm starving”
You: Hey, sorry about yesterday
Chae: Where are you? Why did you ghost me for the whole day? Do you have any idea how worried I was?
You: No sorry Chae I'm at my mom's house already. Sorry for running off like that yesterday
Chae: It's fine, are you coming back?
You: Not today, I need some sleep to clear my mind.
Chae: Then, can we talk tomorrow?
You: I hope so. Can we meet up at lunch?
Chae: That would be nice, I'm sorry too.
You: Yeah, guess we were too hot headed last night
Chae: Yeah, I'll see you back here at your place tomorrow then?
You: You're still there?
Chae: Duhhhh, you left with your keys dangling on your phone, what am I supposed to do? Leave the door unlocked so someone can break in?
You: Oh yeah, I forgot. I'll come by at lunch then, I'll see you tomorrow.
Chaewon has been spending the day with her mind full of anxiety. She's scared that you might do, something drastic. The fact that you didn't answer or even read her text made her think of the worst possibility. However when you finally reply she lets out a sigh of relief knowing that you're fine. Tomorrow, she has to apologise to you, she has to make sure you leave on a high note. If things go wrong and you leave before she can mend this friendship then the two of you would never recover from it. She can't let that happen, after all you're also an important part of her life. Even though it wasn't in the way that you wanted it to be.
You see, the thing about life, it has a humorous side. To whom might the humour cater to? Nobody knows really, but it certainly wasn't aimed at you and Chaewon. “Chae come home now”, Those words are the things Chae feared the most. After every fight her boyfriend has two possible routes he will default too. One, surprise her with gifts and romantic gestures to make sure she remembers how nice he can be. Second, he can double down and try to ‘reason’ with her by making her accept that his outburst is just part of who he is. Unfortunately, today he decided to take the second option, which means if Chaewon didn't comply there's gonna be a second fight. “Can I see you after lunch, I'm-” Her hand is shaking anxiously when she says, “NO, come home now”, And when he interrupts her she almost drops her phone. “Babe please, I have an appointment at lunch”, She pleaded, “Babe…… come home”, He used his cold voice which is the final warning, and Chaewon can only curse her own luck, “Okay, I'll be there as soon as I can”
Chaewon quickly scrambled throughout your apartment, “Fuck me, why the fuck can't anything to right for once”, She glance over the flight ticket you had and memorise the schedule before quickly wrote a note on pen and paper. “Fuck, pup please, for the love of god please understand, I promise I can make it up to you”, She pray, to whomever would listen and grant her wishes. As she writes some tears start to fall down her eyes and stain the paper. It was supposed to be a short note saying how her boyfriend suddenly called and she hopes you can reschedule lunch. However, due to her frustration she ended up writing a long essay saying how much she's sorry and even writing out about the things she wanted to tell you in person. During this she was interrupted with a text message from her boyfriend asking her where she is. Chaewon haphazardly finishes the note before bolting out of the apartment, leaving the door unlocked.
A few hours later you anxiously knock on your apartment door, waiting for her to open the door. Every second felt like an eternity and as time passes your stomach starts to twist making you feel like you want to puke. “Chaewon?” You tried to unlock your door to find it was unlocked, walking inside you call up to Chaewon but the only response you get is Luna purring on the couch. It was clear, she wasn't here, “Fuck”, For the first time in forever you actually yell out your frustration. On the coffee table you find a stack of paper, glancing over it you easily recognise her handwriting.
This is it? This is how we're parting ways Chae? With a stack of notes?
Take a deep breath, calm your nerves and sit down on the couch, try to read the note with an open mind.
Hey pup, sorry but babe wants to meet me. You know how it is, I don't want to make him mad. I really, really, really, like I mean really feel bad for leaving you this note but I sincerely hope you understand. I know I don't deserve to ask for another chance but I hope we can reschedule our lunch tomorrow. If you don't want to, I get it. It'll hurt but I get it. The thing is pup, I never want to hurt you, I really don't. You're kind, strong and smart, I always admire how mature you are and how you can get your shit together. It's hard for me to say this, but I'm sorry that I never felt any romantic attraction towards you.
I don't want to make this cliche but it's not you, it's just me. I know you're cringing right now but just know that sometimes people just aren't made for each other. I love you, as my friend. Sometimes I dream of a different life for us. One where you and I can stay as friends, one where you're my shy, innocent and diligent little brother and I can be your caring and teasing older sister. I know it's hard for you to read this but just know even though you and I are not meant to be, you still have a special place in my heart. And I'm sorry, I never say anything about this.
I was scared, I was confused and I was distracted. Fuck it sounds so bad but I really wanted to help you get over those feelings pup. It's selfish I know, but I want to fix my relationship with my boyfriend before I start making things up for you. You know I have a lot of friends, I know you've been eyeing Kazuha some times, and I know she is interested in you. Fuck, I really wish things would go a different way. I wish we could be best friends forever, you and I, confiding in each other. I hope it doesn't sound too harsh but you and I are special, it's just, not in the way you hope it would be.
When you said about this volunteer work I might encourage you, but deep down I was scared. I know one day you'll finally snap and confront me about this weird dynamic between us. When you say about an opportunity to leave and get out of your shell I was scared that you'll leave me and come back as a different person. I was scared, because in this fucked up and chaotic world you were the one who made me feel safe. Someone that would understand my struggle and help me through it. However on the other hand I wanted you to break off your shell. This whole time you've been living for me, for the hope that I'll be yours. I wanted you to find your own path and find yourself, get away from me so that you'll find a way to let go of your feelings.
Now, writing this whole thing I realised, I can't keep being selfish. I hurt you enough, dragging you down to a toxic relationship unintentionally. So, if you're looking for a farewell, I'll give it. Go out there pup, save people's life, realise that you're much more than what you've given yourself credit for. I hope you'll break free of the collar I've put on you this whole time. You're an amazing person, and I hope you can live up to your potential. Maybe one day, once you come back you'll find a reason to forgive me. For the pain I cause you, for all those medical supplies you've spent for me, for ditching our last meeting with these notes. I know I don't deserve to ask anything from you, but this time, I ask you to be happy. I ask you to let me go, and just, find someone who can love you as much as you love me.
Fuck I've been rambling for too long already. Pup, if you do feel like meeting me before you fly away just text me. If you don't, I'll understand. I won't let you go without saying goodbye to your face though. I remember your flight schedule, so if you don't want to meet me again I'll go there and just, wave you goodbye. Stay strong pup, I hope we can meet again.
Chaewon's tears that have stained the paper are almost gone, replaced by your own tears that almost render the paper unreadable. Is this the closure you wanted? Was there some sliver of hope you still hold on to thinking Chae might actually have some form of romantic feelings towards you? It's bittersweet, although the sweetness is nowhere to be found, you know one day you can see this note with fondness. Maybe this note will be the catalyst of your change. But for now, you just had to swallow this bitter pill and move on. Well, cry your heart out first, let the catharsis calm you down after. “Fuck Chae, I don't know if you'll still be here after I come back though”, Yeah that's a fair point. “Don't die, please don't die while I'm away”
The whole day, and the day after, you just felt this new energy flowing through you. There's still some pain and bitterness there but you understand, it's the first step towards the right direction. Your mom also seems to be pleased with the outcome of this. “Okay, maybe she's not as bad as I expect her to be darling. She's pitiful, that's the best way I can describe her”, Just like how you are attached to Chaewon, your mom also had some attachments toward her. After all, Chaewon was the person who has been keeping you safe from bullies and was one of the only genuine friends that is still in contact with you after all these years. “Mom, can I ask you a favour?” Your mom nodded confidently, she knew what you wanted to ask. “I know darling, I'll take care of Luna while you're away. And I'll make sure that your dear friend will still be in a recognisable state when you come back”, The lady part needs some better wording but that will do.
“Thanks mom, and if she contacts you, can you just give her these?” You hand her a little gift box, “Darling, this isn't a therapy appointment, she won't need this”, Hopefully you can find your mom's sassiness within you in this year long journey. “Just, give it to her okay mom? I'll be off”, She nods and kissed your forehead, “Don't die out there sweetie, I love you”, She smiled at you, a mother's encouraging smile is an over powered buff, “I love you too mom”
Let's move back to Chaewon, she knows it's your departure day and she read your text saying that you won't mind seeing her wave you goodbye at the airport. However, like usual she is being held back by someone. “Chae I need you to stop lying to me okay?” The calm tone her boyfriend is talking in is unnerving. It was like an ice pick that's being stabbed to Chaewon's fresh open wounds. “I'm not lying babe, he really is just a friend”, Chaewon cried, she doesn't want to cry because- “Liar”, He would scream at her, *CRACK* a loud smack echoes throughout the room as he slapped her with all his might. “I wasn't, babe please believe me. He's leaving for a year. I promise I just want to say goodbye to him”, Chaewon cried out as she lay on the ground while her body was screaming with pain. “I know you spent the night with him, Chae, don't lie to me. I let you off this whole time because I know that pussy won't be brave enough to make a move on you. But you, I know you fucking sluttyness knows no bounds. You were giving him a farewell gift, weren't you? You let him have sex with you after years and years of simping for you. Now you want to go there and make him rethink about leaving so you can keep him. I know a fucking bitch like you would keep a side man, a second option”
After a while he just left her in his house. Chae lays down on the floor, face messed up with tears and bruises, her body is exhausted from the mental and physical torture she's been subjected too in the last two days. She lay down there for god knows how long before she finally regained her consciousness. Looking at the time it's already an hour past your departure. Her tears are already dried up so she can't even let out her frustration anymore. “I'm sorry pup, I really do”, Not long she heard a knock on the door, “Hello, anyone in there?” It was a familiar voice but she can't remember who it is. Chaewon tried to stand up but her body could barely move. She wanted to say something but no words came out of her mouth. “Hello, I'm looking for Kim Chaewon, is she here?” Chae realises that whoever's behind that door is trouble, but her voice, Chae could swear she knows her from somewhere.
Chaewon tried to stand up but she failed and just fell down and caused some of the empty beer bottles on the table to fall alongside her and shatter on the floor. “Hello? Is everything alright?” It wasn't, some of the glass shard hit Chae which made her let out a barely audible painful whine. “I'm coming in”, Then a loud slam can be heard from the door before it opens. From the floor Chaewon is laying on she can finally see the person that's looking for her, it was your mom. “Jesus, what happened”, Your mom immediately ran up to Chae, her mind racing with concern, and hatred for Chae's boyfriend. “Ma'am, what are you doing here?” Chae flinched when she felt the older woman's hand examining her wounds. “I'll tell you later, did your boyfriend do this to you?” Chae flinched hearing that question, it's not the first time she heard her ask that. “Fine, don't answer if you don't want to. Let's get you to the hospital”, In one swoop she grabbed Chaewon and just carried her away. Usually she'll refuse this type of help, but now you're no longer there to help you, and she's too weak to refuse so she just let herself get taken away.
Your mom lay Chaewon in the backseat of her car before she took her radio and contacted the nearest hospital. “Dispatch, this is Unit 23 responding. Requesting immediate medical assistance. One injured victim, multiple bruises, possible head injury and a few lacerations due to glass shard on her arm”, Chaewon struggled to stay awake and ultimately went unconscious again before she even reached the hospital. “Hang in there kid, my son gonna kill me if he come home to find you dead”
A few hours earlier you were waiting at the airport, hoping for Chaewon to show up and wave you goodbye. However as the time for departure was nearing Chaewon was nowhere to be seen. You text her and she didn't read it and when you finally boarded you ended up calling your mom to check on Chaewon. As you were busy worrying for her, a girl suddenly sat down next to you, “Hello, are you also here for the volunteer work?” Oh shit, Chaewon who? “Oh yes, I'm from Serenity Medical Institute, nice to meet you”, Hey maybe moving on won't be that hard after all. “Nice to meet you too, I'm Minju from the Oasis Regional Hospital”, Minju gave you a weird look when you heard where you came from.
“Serenity Medical Institute huh, I didn't know they sent anyone for this”, Seating next to a beautiful girl like her made you feel nervous yet somehow she looks more nervous than you. “I am the only one who's going”, You smile a little embarrassed. “Really? That's surprising”, Minju smiled, “Well how many people went from your hospital?” She thinks for a second, “Probably 12?” Is your hospital just very stingy? “That's a lot, I didn't expect so many people would actually be interested in doing these kinds of stuff”, Would sending 12 medical personnel cause some problem in the hospital? Wouldn't it get crippled due to the lack of personnel? “Yeah well, it's not like we're short on people, also doing this will give our hospital some subsidies that would help a lot”, Minju looked at your confused face and got confused herself.
“You get subsidies? I don't think I read that part in the application form”, Do you even read the form though? “Well yeah the form is made asking for international aid. The subsidy is our government's way to encourage the nation’s medical personnel to help”, Did they just send you for the government money? “Although I don't think Serenity would care about that type of stuff”, She was sending some jabs to you but you didn't catch it. “Really? Why do you say that?” Minju furrowed her eyebrows trying to see if you're messing with her, “Well, because it's the rich people hospital”, Your genuine confusion took Minju off guard. “Really? I never knew”, Minju stares at you for a second, “How did you get a job there?” This is a good time to point out how clueless you are at everything.
“Well, after I finished college the owner, well I think he's the owner, came to me to offer me an internship. He said he knew my father and owe him once”, Pretty sure you never met that guy again, also your mom tore you a new hole after you accepted the offer thinking it must be a scam. “See, there's almost no way for people to get in without nepotism. The place has such a service fee that most of its clients are millionaires”, Minju saw you even more confused which frustrated her. “I thought the hospital was the best hospital in the country. I mean, wouldn't that be the reason for the high price?” She clicked her tongue hearing your response.
“Yes, but also because the benefactors and clients are some of the richest people in the country. Most of the people working there have been working there for generations already. It's almost impossible for someone to start working there fresh off college. Any new recruits needs to have at least 10 years of experience in any other prestigious hospital before they have a chance for an examination by them”, You are very clueless about most things. “Huh, I never knew about that”, Minju pinched herself to see if she's hallucinating, there is no way someone is this dumb right? “What's your parents job?” Could it be, you're just a savant in the medical field that attracts their eyes? “Well, my father was a firefighter, and my mom is a cop”, That doesn't sound like a rich person's job.
“Huh, then….. Did your father save someone's life and that person happened to be a very important person?” You shrugged, seemingly not caring about that, “Maybe, I mean he died when I was a kid and mom said he saved a lot of life so maybe he saved someone important and the guy gave me a job out of gratitude?” Minju was baffled with how little shit you're giving about this. “That's…… I'm sorry about your father but do you know how lucky you are? There's people who would die to have a job at your hospital”, This rubs you the wrong way. “Why? What's the difference between your hospital and mine? I mean you and I still both save lives regardless where we work so it wouldn't matter right?” Minju was taken off guard again, you sounded so genuine with your words that she felt embarrassed for forgetting the main job of a doctor.
“You're right, sorry I didn't mean to come out as a materialistic person”, You felt guilty seeing how embarrassed she is, “Oh no don't be, I'm sorry I didn't know most of those things so thank you for telling me this”, Minju smiled at you. “You're just an innocent puppy aren't you?” Eeeehhhh, are you an actual dog? How come two beautiful and completely different girls can see you the same way like that? “I guess”, She laughed seeing you reluctantly accept her nickname. “So, since we'll be working a lot closer from now on I think this would be a perfect time to get to know each other right?” This whole thing feels nostalgic, it's a deja vu for the first time you met Chaewon.
No, I can't keep living in the past. Come on, I'm on this trip to break free of my shell. Be more confident, talk to her. Fuck what if I fall for her and it end up the same way as I did with Chae? Fuck I'm not gonna find anyone if I keep being scared.
“Of course, why don't you start first?” Minju did start first, and she also took the majority of the speaking time because you're too shy to speak up. In the middle of it you got a text from your mom informing you of Chaewon's condition. “You're okay?” Minju said after seeing you turn catatonic for a while, “Oh, yeah just, something came up”, Your voice sounds shaky and you turn around to watch out the window. Minju stays silent after realising that you're not in a talking mood, although she is curious about the situation. Moreover she's curious about you, she finds you to be pretty cute and attractive, and your innocence has some charm to it.
After a while your mom texted back informing you that Chae is stable for now and sent you her medical report. You read through it extensively, the more you read it the more you regret going on this trip. Without you there Chae would probably run back to her boyfriend after being discharged from the hospital. Well, even if you're there you won't be able to stop her from going back to him. It's like you are Sisyphus and she is your boulder, no matter how hard you try, she will always stumble down the hill into her boyfriend's arms. “Hey, you're okay there?” Minju decided to speak up seeing how distraught you've become, “Ahhh no, something came up”, Having someone to talk to would be nice, but would she care to hear a story of a complete stranger? “I don't mind listening you know, if you don't mind sharing of course”, Minju smiles at you, “Well, I have this friend, her name is Chae…….”
.
.
.
“Uggghhh”, A pained groan escapes out of Chaewon's mouth before she even gets to open her eyes. As she tried to sit up a hand stopped her from moving, “Take it easy now kiddo, you're still hurt”, This time she immediately recognised your mother's voice. “Ma'am, I….. where am I?” Chaewon tried to open her eyes but the room was too bright for her so she immediately closed it again. “In the hospital, you were pretty rough when I saw you”, The first thing that came up in her mind was to run, anything involving hospitals is bothersome, from the bills to the questioning she'll get. Thankfully she's well aware that your mom wouldn't let her run so easily, so she just lay back on the bed trying to regain her stamina.
After half an hour or so she is able to open her eyes and sit on the bed, looking around the place she realises where she is right now. “No, my son already left”, A quick reality check from your mom completely buried her hopes of having you delay your departure. “Why……. Why did you come to my place?” It's hard for her to look at your mom in the eyes. Unlike you, your mom has this dominating aura around her that shows she takes no shit from anyone. “My son asked me to check in on you when you didn't show up to his flight”
Oh right, I ghost him again. Fuck how can I keep messing this up?
“Listen kiddo, I never liked you. For years I've already told my clueless son that you're leading him on and he never listens. I would've confronted you but I digress because he always told me not to”, It's really jarring feeling the difference between you and your mom. Her words and piercing gaze made Chaewon shivers in her place. “And worst of all you actually push him to take a dangerous job off country just because you two can't be a grown up and talk about your feelings”, Just for the record, your mom was trying to not be overly hostile, she just came off that way. “I'm sorry”, Chae said weakly, “However, after he came to me with your notes I got a glimpse of your side of the story and, somewhat open to listen to the whole thing. Today, after I see you laying down half dead on that abuser's floor I think I understand enough”
“He's not an abuser”, Chae immediately bites back, as those words left her mouth she immediately flinched and felt scared for going against your mom. “Kiddo, I've been in this line of work for the last 25 years already. I've seen your story play out a thousand times. I promised my son that I'll keep you safe, so I'm taking you away from that whether you like it or not”, That's illegal right? “But he's not, he was just having an episode. Sometimes he just lash out, he can't help it, that's just who he is”, Chae is way too far down in her own hell to realise the exit is right in front of her. “Really? You're blaming this on his mental state?” Your mom wasn't taking any of that, “He's bipolar okay? He can't help having drastic mood swings”, He was never diagnosed, Chae just read some online article and associated him with that disorder to rationalise his sociopathic behaviour. “Blaming that maniac’s behaviour on mental disorders is an insult to the people who actually have mental disorders. Kiddo, I don't think you understand how irredeemable he is. What he did to you today is unacceptable, and if you don't want to fight for your own sake then I'll fight for you by bringing him to court”
Panic starts to set in, Chaewon can't let her do that, “He's not like that, I promise, please just give him a chance”, Seeing how pathetic Chaewon is, your mom wonders how you can enable her behaviour for so long. “Let’s have this talk in the morning. It's late and I need to get some rest. Go get some sleep, I'll be back here tomorrow morning. If I didn't see you here tomorrow morning I'm coming back to your apartment with a warrant for your boyfriend”, It's not your mom's first rodeo, she knows girls like Chae would care about her boyfriend’s feelings over her own well being. “Okay then, I'll see you tomorrow ma'am”, Not even a thank you, so rude.
Fuck why did things got so complicated now. You were always so caring but this is too much pup. Your mom is gonna be the end of me. Fuck how do I convince her to drop this, I can't let her make babe mad. I need to convince her.
How would Chaewon convince her? Well, with a stupid idea, “Are you being serious right now? You want me to talk with your boyfriend?” Downright idiotic honestly. “Please, it's just one talk. You'll see that he's not as bad as you think he is”, Your mom is absolutely flabbergasted with this request, this little girl actually wanted her to have a nice and civil discussion with an abuser? “I don't think you understand, assault and battery isn't just a civil case. The law enforcement such as myself have the right to pursue this case, you know that right?” This also means if she talks to Chaewon's boyfriend and he loses his composure your mom can use his incriminating words against him.
“Trust me just this once okay? Please?” No way in hell your mom is gonna trust Chaewon, she sees Chae as an even more clueless person than you. She wants to say pathetic but she's not heartless enough to consider her own son pathetic. “I’ll drive you back to your place, I'll ask him about what transpired yesterday and that will be it. That's all the chances he's getting”, Although honestly she does see this as an opportunity to gather more evidence. “What? I need to tell him about this first”, Chae didn't have her phone, he broke it yesterday so she can't contact him, “Tchhh, so you can warn him? No, I'll give him this one chance so I can see him being unfiltered. So get your ass up because we're leaving now”, Despair, that's what Chae feels right now.
Your mom led her to the receptionist where she signed the paper for discharge. Since you were working there she used her family member card so that Chaewon's hospital bills would be reduced to zero, and that's a good price. Throughout the ride Char can't stop herself from biting her nails, her legs are all jittery and her heartbeat is beating irregularly, she's scared out of her mind. Once they arrived back at her place she was so nervous your mom had to wake her up from her thoughts. “Ahhhhh, oh sorry, you scare me”, Chae tries to calm her breathing down while your mom is staring at her, then the latter gets out of her car prompting Chae to follow her.
Chaewon knocked on the door, after all your mom didn't exactly search around to pick up her personal things such as wallets or keys. “You do know I broke the door yesterday right? The locks haven't been fixed”, Chae blushed hearing this and just opened her door, going inside she called up for her boyfriend but there was no response. “He must be out”, There was some relief in her voice, hopefully your mom would just leave the place so she can brief her boyfriend about what's gonna happen. “That's unfortunate then-”, However Chaewon's dreams were short lived as the older woman's words were interrupted by some ruffling sounds from the bedroom followed by some footsteps.
“Who the fuck are you?” Really? That's the first thing your mom said in her mind. She's completely baffled that Chaewon would ruin her own life for someone like that. No body shaming of course, the guy was good looking, but he looks like the most generic fuckboy ever imaginable. “I'm here to talk to you, I am Officer Hwang, last night I find…….”, She trailed off letting silence fills the room. The reason for that is because a girl walks out of the bedroom he just came out from. Seeing how minimal their clothing is, it's quite easy to grasp what they were doing. “Who is this?” Chaewon's fear and anxiety is replaced with unbridled rage as if he just crosses the line. “None of your business, and why the fuck did you bring a cop here huh? Hwang? Is it that retard’s mom?” He's so eloquent, no wonder Chaewon fell for him.
“Lady her your clothes and get out”, The random girls immediately sprint back to the bedroom, “Who the fuck is she?” Chaewon screamed at her boyfriend. “Fuck you, who is this? You brought a cop here? Are you insane?” Seeing him refuse to answer, Chaewon raises her hand and slaps him. It is unprofessional to laugh at someone who's getting ‘assaulted’ but your mom can't help but crack open a smile. “Are you crazy, bitch?” The slap has taken him off guard, never in his life did he think that Chaewon would have the balls to do something like that. The random girl came out of the bedroom wearing her pants with some of her underwear being stuffed into her bag. “You were cheating on me?” Chaewon roared, she looked at the random girl and was ready to pounce on her but thankfully your mom swooped in and pulled the girl outside.
“Move, I need to talk to that bitch”, Chaewon tried to push your mom away but the latter hold firm, “I think you should deal with this one first”, She pointed at her boyfriend. “Shit fucker, look at me”, He roughly pull Chaewon's hand making her body ragdoll to the ground. “You think you're hot shit because you have a cop here?” This guy has issues, “You were fucking some random girl? AFTER YOU SNAPPED BECAUSE YOU THINK I WAS CHEATING ON YOU?” Huh, maybe Chaewon's final line is just cheating. It's impressive that he never crosses that line for the last few years. Seeing how Chaewon wasn't being a scaredy cat like usual hurts his pride, so he raises his hand to hurt her in return.
“You should stop that”, Your badass mom just grab his hand before he can slap Chae, “You fucking disgusting pig, HOW DARE YOU CHEATED ON ME”, But she didn't stop Chaewon from slapping him. “You fucking whores”, His pride really can't take this anymore and he took one of the empty bottle on the table. “I warned you”, With a bored tone your mom pulled out her taser gun and just shot fade him. Immediately he fell to the ground, the bottle thankfully didn't break and cut his skin, despite how much your mom wanted that to happen. “You asshole”, Chaewon walks to him and just kicks him in the ribs, “Alright don't do that, you're gonna get in trouble”, But her words don't reach her like usual. Chaewon tried to kick him again prompting your mom to just drag her out of the house.
“Let me go, I need to kill that bastard”, She was taken off guard seeing how Chaewon just flipped a switch out of nowhere, “Well it's better than before I guess”, She muttered before pushing Chae to her car. “Stay here for a second, I need to clean this mess”, Well at least her menacing glare is enough to stop Chae from struggling. “Here, go busy yourself while I call up the medic”, She shoved a little gift box you prepared for Chae to her lap. Chaewon immediately recognised your writing and opened it, inside is a note and she immediately read it.
Hey Chae, I was writing this note because I feel like that's just gonna be our thing from now. Let me start by saying, it hurts. Reading your notes was painful and really fuck me up. However, I do understand where you're coming from. I can't force you to like me, although I really want to, I realise it's just not possible. I guess we were both an idiot, so caught up in our feelings that we ended up hurting ourselves. I just want to say, I don't hate you, I understand where you're coming from, I really do. I hope one day when I come back home we get to sit down together and talk about this further. I hope once I get back we can have a civil and mature conversation about our friendship and other things.
However, for that to happen, I need you to still be around when I come home. Yes I helped you throughout these years because I loved you. But it would be wrong if I say that was the only reason why I helped you. I was scared for you, this relationship you had with your boyfriend isn't healthy Chae. When we first met you were this badass girl who never backed down from anything. Now you're just this vulnerable girl who is being dragged through hell because you can't let go of your feelings. You know I'm right, all your friends have given up on you already because they can't bear to watch you destroy yourself. You say something about setting me up with Kazuha yet the last time you talked to her was already 2 years ago. Chae, I'm scared, I'm really scared with the idea that you won't be alive by the time I come home. I wrote this note because I want you to let him go.
No, I wasn't saying this because I feel jealous of him, I'm saying this because I care about you. I'm on this “journey” in hope that I can let go of my feelings, in hope to “break my chains” as you put it. Now I'm asking you to break yours as well. I know you're tired of hearing these words but you're sacrificing so much just by staying with that guy. I might sound biassed, but you can get any guy in the world and you're choosing the worst option. I never thought I'd say this, but it's also hurting my pride knowing you prefer staying with an abuser rather than, me. Fuck that sounds so bad, but if you were dating some rich handsome guys I'll have my heartbreak way earlier than this and probably move on. Chaewon, you're a beautiful, talented and strong girl, you can do better than him. It hurts seeing your mental toughness that I always envied are being used just so you can tolerate him. Please, now that I'm gone I can't keep you safe any longer. For the love of god please let him go Chae. I don't want to come back home seeing you six feet underground.
I might just be beating a dead horse but I hope you can see where I'm coming from. In this box there's my apartment keys. I already pay rent for the next 4 months so you can stay there if you need to. And finally, there's a hospital card here, you can use it in Serenity and get treatment free of charge. I hope you'll never need to use it, but I also hope for a lot of impossible things. Anyway I've been rambling for too long, I hope mom didn't go too hard on you. Stay safe Chae, stay alive. I hope we can meet again once I'm back home. I'll miss you.
It took her almost 30 minutes rereading that note you left her. It all boils down to, “Chaewon your boyfriend is trash, leave him already. Here take my keys”, But she keeps rereading them hoping there's more. She needs more, she needs you to write something, anything that could comfort her. “Fuck pup, why can't I just listen to you”, But alas there's none, after all you never expect this messages to actually change her mind. It technically didn't, her boyfriend's act of crossing her line did but this note is the nail in the coffin. A certain word rings in her mind, “If only he can be more like you”, So fucking cliché, yet sometimes clichés came from real life things.
Why the fuck did I say that? You're so fucking stupid sometimes Chae. Why ask for someone to be like him when he's already available. God what have I done.
No point of crying over spilled milk, but that doesn't stop her from ruining your notes with her tears. Is this your thing now? Sending notes and soaking them with tears. “He’s not a problem anymore, just in case you're wondering”, Chaewon jumped back at her seat when she saw your mom had rejoined her back in the car. “Right”, Chae wiped her tears and put the notes back in the box, “You want to go somewhere or do you want to go back to your house?” Chae glanced back to her house. It was inherited to her after her parent's death a few years ago, it was around the time she started dating that pig. Those beautiful childhood memories, all tainted by his presence.
“No, can you take me back to your son's apartment?” It's not that your mom wants to snoop around, but she's just curious and has checked the gift before she hands it to Chaewon. “Got it”, Your mom thinks it would be a good idea for Chae to stay away from her house for now, 4 months is a pretty long time to cool down. However Chaewon had different plans, “I'll wait for you to come back pup. I can fix this, I can fix us. I'll wait for you to come back, then we can start over”, Her barely audible whispers float off to the wind. A promise for a better future, no matter what it takes.
.
.
.
“Babe you need to stop dozing off”, You were woken up from your daydream with a gentle touch to your shoulder. “Right, I just feel weird. I can't believe a year passed already”, Yeah, it felt like a year just passed in an instant. “Come on, don't tell me you're thinking about staying here?” Minju wrapped her arm around you, “Of course not, I'm just a little sad that I'll have to go already”, Minju smiled and gave you a kiss. “There, I don't want my little puppy to be sad anymore”, She said teasing you, “Don't call me that, please never call me that in front of other people again”, It's bad enough that she calls you that in front of her coworkers, if she pull that name in front of your friends, or even your mom, you'll die out of embarrassment.
“Heheheheh, I won't promise anything. Now come on I need your big muscular arm to help me out the bags on the truck”, Living with no reception has bore you a lot, which is why you start working out alongside the soldiers that keeps the area secure. So needless to say, you've grown into a Chad, after loading the luggage you sat down with the rest of Minju’s coworkers. “So, what are we eating once we get home?”, Jaehyun, one of Minju's coworkers, asked the group. “I want some junk food, like 10 big macs covered with cheese dips type of junk food”, “No way in hell, we're eating something fresh, I want sushi”, “I don't care what we're eating but we need alcohol. Like a lot of them”, You've been pulled to be part of their friend group, although most of the time you and Minju would just fool around somewhere else. “Let's vote then, what does everyone want?” Voting with friends is such a bad idea, “I'm down for anything”, “Yeah me too, I don't mind”, “I don't really crave anything so I'll just follow what everyone wants”, In the end Minju just pull you to the passenger truck and sit with you at the back while her friends are busy discussing.
“So, we're going to meet your mom once we land?” It's hard to communicate with the people back home, you can only send her a letter every few weeks or so. Well except last week when you were given a satellite phone to arrange yours . “Well she did say she's gonna pick me up, so maybe we can have dinner with her after”, You haven't really told your mom about Minju so you're kinda nervous, “I don't think I'm down for thay babe. It's a 10 hour flight and I would rather go home and have a good long bath. Maybe we can have dinner tomorrow night”, Thankfully she rejected the dinner. “Guess you're right, I'm sure mom also wants to ask me about what I did for the last year”, It would be awkward to tell your mom that you actually got shot here. “Yeah, don't die okay baby”
“I told you you're gonna get shot”, You're like an inch away from getting shot by her out of frustration. “But mommmm, it was just an accident, some stray bullet from the soldier's training”, They even send you money for the inconvenience, or to shut you up. “Haaaaaa, I'm really this close to losing it. You didn't think about telling me in one of those letter you send me?” This is certainly a welcoming party, “ I'm sorry, I didn't want to make you worry”, She sighed and just shook her head. “Mom, where's Luna?” You tried to change the topic, “With Chaewon, that fat fuck want to stay at your apartment over here”, You raised your eyebrow in confusion, “Chae still living at my place?”
Your mom does send you some update about her in the first few months, most of it just saying how Chae is getting better and has been reconnecting with her friends. “You should go there and talk to her”, Right, the long awaited reunion is due, “I should, tomorrow we're having dinner with Minju so I guess I could come over now”, Time zone difference fuck you up because you left around sunset and arrive back at your home around 8 AM, which isn't fun. “I can drop you off at your place if you get ready right now”, As you took a shower you can't help but feel nervous. For the last year you didn't really try to reach out to Chae and your mom didn't say anything if Chae tried to reach out to you. Going back to the living room you immediately noticed how tight your outfits has become. “That usually happens when you build up muscle darling. You should go and get some new clothes”, You remember Minju said she is a shopaholic so you made a plan to do a shopping run later with Chae. Just as a friendly reunion right? Right?
“Congratulations on your promotion by the way mom”, You pull out a gift for her, “Ohhh? What's this? The bullet that they took out of your body?” Damn that would actually be a pretty good gift for her. “Uhhh no, it's just a knife one of the refugees gave me”, Without hesitation she ripped open the box and pulled out a pristine military knife. “Ohhhh, good job darling, I'll put this on my desk”, She smiles happily before strapping the knife into her waist. “Now come on, I'm gonna be late”
You stand in front of your door, feeling anxious and nervous. If any of your neighbours see this they're probably gonna be weirded out since you’re just standing there for 5 minutes. Suddenly the front door clicked open and you saw Chaewon. She was going out and she bumped into you, “Sorr-.......” The two of you just stare at each other silently. The first thing you noticed is how healthy she looks, her cheeks are no longer hollow, her skin isn't sagging, she looks better. “Hey Ch-” Chae jumped to hug you before you finished your sentence, “It's you, you're home”, Even her strength is back, enough to suffocate you. “Chae, calm down for a second”, But she doesn't want to calm down, “You're back, you're really back, I miss you so much”, Chae hugged you even harder without any intentions of letting go.
“Chae let's not do this in the hallway”, She suddenly felt your arm wrapped around her body and picked her up with ease. It was at this moment that she noticed you don't feel so scrawny anymore. “You've grown”, She let go of the hug as you closed the door behind you, her eyes travelling all over your body. “Yeah well, I got a lot of free time there”, Your cheeks turn red as Chaewon shamelessly feels up your arms. “Meow”, Luna walked out of the bedroom and the moment she saw you she immediately ran to your leg. “Hey there Luna, did you miss me”, You picked her up and she immediately purred in your familiar embrace again.
“Well come here take a seat. Don't be a stranger in your own apartment”, Chae smiles and pulls you to sit down on the couch. Looking around you notices she has done a few furnishings, the place still looks familiar, yet there's some of her touch painting the whole apartment. “You like it? I don't want to change too much but I feel like your previous decorations were kinda bland”, Is her snarky remark making a return as well? “Well the place does look less grey”, Chaewon sits closer to you, “So, how was your trip? Come on tell me everything”, She leaned towards your arm and rested her head on your shoulder.
“It's a long story, weren't you just leaving to go somewhere?” Bering with Minju for a while you've grown immune to women's advances due to how flirty she was. “I was just about to get some breakfast. Have you eaten anything yet? We can order some food”, Chae notices your lack of embarrassment and it makes her, happy. “Well I ate some airplane food earlier, so I wouldn't mind going out for some actual good food”, Luna let out a growl as if she understands that you're leaving already. “Come on let's just eat here, I want to hear everything that happened to you”, Chae pinched your cheek as she leaned even closer to you.
“Come on let's go out Chae, I also need some help. I actually gained some weight and my old clothes are getting too tight for me. Can you help me do some clothing runs?”, A date, Chae is ecstatic that you wanted to have a date with her the moment you return. “Yesssss, let's go then”, She stood up and pulled your hand, “Hahahaha, sorry Luna you're gonna have to wait for me again”, Luna let out a protest meow before jumping off your lap. “She's gonna be fine, let's go pup, it's shopping time”, Surely Chaewon won't take the whole day to help you get some new clothes.
“So you were actually shot? Like with a real bullet?” Chae is filled with concern hearing your story, “Yeah, it was just a ricochet so it's not that deep but it still hurts”, Don't cut off the fun part, tell her you cried like a baby as they tried to stop your bleeding. “That's terrible, I swear to god I'll kill that idiot who dares to shoot you”, It pisses her off, she could've lost you because some stupid drill. “It's fine, I was too close to the training yard anyway”, You can't help but smile seeing her angry face. It reminds you of the time when she used to get angry every time someone tried to pick on you. “Tchh, I'm only letting it go because you're safe and you got a cool scar from it”, Chaewon continued looking at your arm, rather, your bicep.
“Yeah, it does look cool”, You trailed off as you checked your messages that Minju had sent you. Chae furrowed her eyebrows seeing you've been busy chatting with someone on your phone throughout this breakfast. She wants to know who's making you smile and what those texts are, but she refrains for now. “Well I hope your feets are ready, we're giving you a makeover”, She'll ask you about those texts later, after all she has all the time in the world with you.
The shopping was hellish, Chaewon keeps pulling you to every clothing store there is and has you tried every single piece of clothing she can find. Then to top it off you had to bring all the luggage yourself. Well you don't have to, but you don't want to make her carry it so you just swallow the pain and move on. “Chae can we stop here? I think this is enough'', Chae does notice your suffering but she can't help herself to dress up her boyfriend. “Alright, let's put it back at our place, we can order some food for lunch”, Our place? You're gonna say something about that? “Our-”, Unfortunately your phone rings before you can ask it.
“I need to answer this call first, can you order a cab for us?” Now, Chae is not exactly a nosy person, but she feels irritated with how much you were on your phone during this date. “Fine”, She doesn't want to make a scene so she'll just frown as she watches you walk a way to answer your call. “Hey babe , I was thinking that maybe we can grab some lunch? Or are you still dealing with jet lag?” Minju said, “I'm outside right now, having a reunion with Chaewon”, A little slither of guilt can be heard in your voice as you felt bad for refusing your girlfriend’s invitation. “Oh well, did everything go well?” She doesn't mind though, “Yeah, I think we're having a good day so far. I'm kinda happy seeing her revert to her old self. Although I think I would rather have her tone down her occasional jab. Physical jab, she's one of those people who like to playfully punch you and it hurts”, You hear Minju laughed out loud at your complaints. “Oh no, my poor baby can't take a woman's punch? Even with all those muscles?” PSA: Domestic violence is not a joke, please seek professional help if you or someone you know are dealing with one.
“Hey listen she's not your average girl okay? She used to be the badass tomboy who beat up guys bigger than him. Besides you should see her biceps, they're huge”, Chaewon can't hear you but she is certainly not happy with the smiles that's forming on your face. “I would love to, is this an invitation for me to join your reunion?” Ahhhh shit, what did you just do? “Well”, You look back at Chae and are surprised seeing her hostile glare, “Maybe not today”, You're not sure why she's mad but you think it's best not to ask it for now. “Well, hopefully I can meet her soon. I'll see you tomorrow okay babe? Pick me up for the date please, you can buy some used car with the money they gave you for the bullet wounds”, You can't concentrate on what she's saying and hurriedly end the call before walking to Chaewon.
“The cab will be here soon”, Oh no, she's using her cold angry voice again, “O-okay”, The two of you awkwardly stand there waiting for the cab. Throughout the whole ride Chaewon was looking out the window trying to calm herself down. However the moment she hears you typing on your phone she immediately turns to you and lets out a vicious glare. Feeling your life might be in danger you put down your phone. Anxiousness starts to rise within you, it's not the first time you see her this mad but it's still terrifying.
What the fuck did I do now? Chae only got this mad when I did something stupid and hurt myself. Think Mark, think. Whatever it is, I should try to apologise once we get home.
The two of you silently walk back to your apartment, as soon as you walk in you hear Chaewon slam the door behind you. “Put it there”, She pointed at the floor, you obediently put down the groceries trying to find words to calm her down and inquire on what you did wrong. “Who was it?” Her voice, cold and piercing just like her eyes, “Who was what?” That's not an answer, so she walks towards you and pushes you to the wall. “Who were you talking to on the phone? The whole day you were busy talking with someone. Throughout our fucking date you were just chatting with someone else. Do you not respect me at all? Your girlfriend is in front of you yet you were busy with whoever it was in your phone”, Alright, what the fuck?
Let's break this down, first she doesn't like you talking to someone, which is understandable since it was pretty rude to be busy with your phone while you're hanging out with someone else. Then she says date, you didn't think it was a date, friendly date possibly but isn't that just a hangout? Lastly, girlfriend, this one actually takes you out of it. Hearing her referring to herself as your girlfriend is not something you ever thought you'll hear. This time, after a year of spiritual journey, you actually don't want to hear her say that.
“Chae?” Seeing that you're not answering she just digs her nails into your arm. “ANSWER ME. Who was it? And don't fucking lie to me”, Her voice echoes throughout the whole room, yet it feels so distant, as if this whole thing is just a dream to you. “That's…. I…. I was talking to my girlfriend”, Chae was about to scream back saying you weren't talking to her enough, then she realised you weren't referring to her. “Your. Girlfriend?” Her face contorted as she spat those words, “I guess I haven't mentioned her yet. Her name is-”, Your words are interrupted by her slap.
"Girlfriend?" she spat, her voice laced with disbelief that morphed into a chilling possessiveness. "Don't lie to me, babe. You're mine. You've always been.”, Words are stuck on your throat, after years of following her shadow with the hope of getting a whiff of her warmth you managed to get it at the worst possible time. The name ‘babe’ rings like a distant lullaby, those words that you crave from her felt like venom to you now. “Chae when I was there I got close with Minju. We-”, Her hand flies quickly to grab your mouth, silencing your words that's about to break her delusion. “No, that's not right at all babe. I see now, you're confused and tired. Serving there must've been very tiring for you babe. You were just homesick and miss me, yeah let's get you some rest babe”
Chae leaned and kissed your cheek, yet her eyes are challenging you to refute her words. “No, Chae I have-”, The second slap was much more painful than the first one, because this time she put her back on it. “Baby I really think you're just tired, come on let's get you to your bed. You must've missed sleeping on your bed right? I'll accompany you, we can eat lunch later”, Chae grabbed both of your hands, tugging them for you to follow her to the bedroom. “No Chae, she's real. Minju is very lovely you'll like her”, This whole situation was so odd for you that you're also in denial of Chaewon's transformation.
Chaewon's eyes narrow, trying to pierce through your skull to inspect your mind, then a humourless laugh escapes her mouth. “I see now, you had a rebound girl while you were away. I don't think I appreciate that babe, but for now let's get you to rest. I can punish you after you get some sleep”, The room was silent as if it was waiting in horror to see your next move. “No Chae……. I love her. I love Minju”, Your muscles stiffen, trying to brace for her next slap. Yet it never came, there was only silence. “Love her?”
Alright, stop denying, you know what's happening right now. “Chae I-”, You were once again interrupted by her, this time with her lips that aggressively crashed into yours and sealed it shut. This is it, the dream you've always wanted to achieve, a kiss from the girls that has held your heart for years now. Yet the kiss brought a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. On one hand, it ignited a dormant flame within you, a spark of the yearning you'd harboured for Chae for years. The warmth of her lips, the familiar scent of her hair, it all felt like a dream come true, a gift from god for all the good things you've done. On the other hand the sweetness was quickly tainted by the bitter reality. Your heart, now entwined with Minju's, ached with guilt and betrayal. This wasn't supposed to happen. Chae had friend-zoned you, leaving you to move on and build a new life. This sudden shift, this desperate claim of ownership, it sent your mind reeling.
Is this the Chae you know? The one who has explicitly told you that the two of you can never work? Or was that Chae a fake one? You've never heard those words outside the notes she left you. Perhaps those notes are just her denial of the feelings she actually had for you. Denial that was hidden by the guilt she had for using you all this time? Is this confusion you're having is just a pathetic rationalisation for your own feelings for her? Was Minju truly just a rebound girl? Did you leave your heart here with Chae this whole time and only notice it now that you're back with her?
So many questions yet no answer. You didn't try to think of an answer, after all there's a fight going on within you right now. Your body has been yearning for these moments and responded instinctively. Your heart screaming with protest as it was being torn apart by the guilt you harbour for Minju. Each agonising second felt like an eternity. You wanted to pull away, to break free from this confusing entanglement. Yet with each second passing Chae's grip tightened, her kiss becoming desperate, almost pleading. It was like witnessing a damsel in distress, someone drowning in a sea of their own obsession, and a part of you, the part that once loved her fiercely, wanted to save her.
“Haaaaa”, Finally she broke the kiss, her head pressing against yours, her hand still tightly gripping on to your collar. Her eyes are filled with ecstasy, she's in a trance, for a moment you wonder if this is what you would look like if she kissed you before you left. “You're mine babe, you're mine and mine alone”, A hushed whisper can be heard flowing out of her mouth. The kiss, it was a culmination of all the obsession and longing she has for the last year. Your absence in her life was a hellfire for her loneliness, forging her into this, thing. Day by day her longing got more and more intense until it slowly turned into a need. Now that you're here those feelings only become more intense, like a sword that has finished sharpening and ready to be used.
While she was lost in the vortex of her own emotions you finally connected the dots. Despite her rejection she has explicitly said that she has special feelings for you. A love that was strong in every way but romantically. However it would change once she finally broke free of her chain, of the collar her boyfriend has put on her. Lost, confused, exiled, her only source of hope was you. After all her friend left her the only person she can rely on was you. Yet you were already gone, left to find your own love. Of course, that's why she is still here, living in your apartment with the thought that you two can reconcile after you return. Funny how life works, Chaewon finally has the same feeling you've been ‘hiding’ from her for years just right after you lost those feelings.
“You know you love me babe. Whoever that Minju girl is, she's irrelevant. We belong together, and I'm so sorry that I hurt you for so long. I promise I'll make it up to you. Just be patient okay babe, after all we have our whole life to be together. Nothing can separate us anymore, I love you”
“I-”, NO!
Your mind managed to take control of your body before you answered her. “I...” Chaewon smiles thinking you were just too shy to say it back. “Chae, it's too late”, Desperately you tried to bury back those feelings, you can't hurt Minju, and for some reason there's this voice warning you that whatever Chae is feeling right now, it's dangerous. “Baby, you know how much you hurt me by saying that”, Her face formed a disappointed frown as her tone turned sour, her eyes turned glassy as if she was about to burst into tears. “I can't Chae, I'm sorry”, It hurts seeing her like this as well, you never thought you'd make her cry by rejecting her.
“You don't mean that pup, I can see it in your eyes. You didn't move on and I know it. You have loved me for years already, how can you just let go of all those feelings in just one year”, Her vulnerable tone and pained expression was nothing but a calculated move. Loyalty and charity, those are your two strong suits, and she knows acting hurt and vulnerable would be an easy way to change your mind. “I….. I can't Chae”, She also knows, despite your physical growth, mentally you wouldn't even hurt a fly.
“Why are you lying to me pup? I can feel your body is calling for me”, Her hand slips inside your sweater. As her cold and slender fingers feel up your abs you can't help but feel like the inside of your stomach is twisting. This is all you ever wanted yet it terrifies you. “You've grown pup, I like it”, With inhuman strength she just ripped apart your flimsy sweater. “Chaewon no”, You try to stop her, your mind does, but your body is much more honest. “Did she do this to you?” Chae pressed her finger towards the hickey you had on your collarbone, “Chae stop this”, You pleaded again, but your words aren't coming through to her. “I'll hide it babe, I'll hide it with my make so you'll forget that whore”, Chae leaned in and bite on your collarbone.
The pain, you're not even sure if it was physical or emotional. Out of all the way that you could have her you never expected that it would be done through, rape. Is this rape? Do you truly hate this? “Who was that?” Your phone buzzed making Chaewon stop her marking session. “I-”, She didn't bother waiting for your answer before rushing through your pocket and finding your phone. The name Minju was written on the screen showing she just texted you something. “Forget about her”, Chae throws away your phone before diving back to your shoulder.
I don't want this. I don't want this at all.
You pushed her away but it was so weak she barely moved. “Stop doing that”, She mumbles as she continues biting you. “Chae stop this please”, You push her again but this time you managed to put some power into it. She doesn't budge, her teeth still hooked into your flesh refusing to let you go. “Chaewon stop”, Finally raise your voice, she stops biting you yet her body is still pressing you to the wall. “Baby, I need you to stop playing so hard to get okay? I know you want this”, Come on tell her no, tell her she's wrong. “See, you need to stop lying to me”, Her hand caressed your bulge, “I know you more than you know yourself”, She whispered in your ear.
Do I actually want this? Was I overreacting when I call this rape? Chaewon would never do that. She's a kind and loving person. She would never do anything to hurt me. Right?
She fucking gaslight you so easily? “My god, you're so big baby”, You glanced down and realised Chaewon was already kneeling in front of you, your pants already pulled down exposing your cock. “Chae”, She smiles, your tone is much more meek now, she knows she got you by the, well, balls. “It's okay babe, I'll be gentle”, Her slender fingers gently wrapped around your cock as her lips kissed your tip. Your body shivers with the sensation, her gentle touch was enough to make you leak some precum. Chaewon smiles proudly, “I'm flattered babe, you've been missing me too right?” Her tongue sticks out and licks your tip.
The more she licks the more you leak out. Her hand starts stroking you as she licks your cock like a lollipop, savouring the taste of your precum. Not long after that she kissed your tip again before pushing it into her mouth. “Ohhh fuck”, You moan, her mouth was too small for it and despite her best effort she can only go halfway. Feeling defeated she pulls away before spitting onto your shaft, her hand continues stroking and coats your cock with her saliva. If she can't take all of your length she will be creative. So as her head bobs up and down her hand jerks you off with the lubricant she just applied. Wet sloppy noise echoes throughout the room, accompanied by the sounds of your grunt and moans.
“Chae, fuck”, Feeling your cock starts to throb she got even more intense. Her hand and head go in sync as she tries to milk you. “Chae, I'm cumming”, Your hips buckled forward forcing Chae to choke on your cock as you unload down her throat. The sensation of your thick and warm cum travelling down her throat gives Chae a sense of victory. Her eyes never leave yours for a second and she watches every single emotion you went through this whole time. She knows, you can't run from her.
“You taste so good babe”, She moaned once she pulled out your cock. Then she just let it rest on top of her small and pale white face, a view so arousing yo8r body starts screaming for round two. “Chae, I-”, It only took five seconds and your guilt already came back, this displeases her. “Come here baby, let's continue this in our bed”, She stood up and grabbed your hand. Now that your mind is clear, the post nut clarity should help you make your decision. Should you run now? Or should you just let yourself fall deeper into this, abyss.
“Come on babe”, Realising you're second guessing yourself, Chaewon grabbed your hand using both of her own while using her cute and innocent face. She hates to do this, she really does, because right now she's using a strategy that her ex used on her. “I……” Yet seeing you falter made her happy, there's always a silver lining in everything. Right now, she won't mind personifying her ex’s attitude if it means she gets to make you stay with her. “Hehehehehe, come on let's do a quick one babe, we can have lunch after this”, With one pull she managed to crumble down your common sense. So you follow her, right into the dragon's nest. Inside your room you can see it's pretty much the same. The only difference was her makeup and dirty clothes that filled up the room. “I don't want to change too much, after all I want you to go back home to a familiar sight”, She smiles before pushing you to the bed. Chaewon takes off her skirt before jumping on to you. She pushes your erect cock into her stomach, “Look babe, you're gonna split me in half with this monster”
Seeing how quiet you are, Chae just takes off her top before leaning towards you. “Don't be shy babe, I know you've been dreaming for this moment for years now”, Her hand pulls yours into her breast, “Feel it babe”, She whispered in your ear. Overtaken by lust, your hand gently squeezed her tits making her moan, “Yeah baby, just like that. Don't be shy anymore okay? I know you like this as much as I do”, Chae raises her waist and aligns your cock with her wet entrance. “I love you”, And with that she lowers her waist, struggling to take your cock. “Fuck”, You grunted feeling how tight she is, “It hurts so much babe”, She moaned before leaning into your neck. “You're really gonna split me apart”, Her breath has become shaky as she continues pushing more of you into her.
“Chae”, You whispered, “Yeah baby? Do you like it?” She bites your ear, “Take it slow” Oh no. “Hehehehehe, I'm not fragile you know”, Hearing your submission gave her a new source of energy. Her lips crashed on to yours as both of her hands hugged your head, not letting you move. As she managed to take your full length she didn't bother to rest a little and start moving. “I'll get used to this babe, I promise. We're made for each other, you and I”, She moans while her lower body is screaming in agony, but she couldn't care less. Her mind was already overtaken by lust, all those sleepless nights from missing you has caused her to have so much pent up stress. “Fuck Chae, calm down for a second”, You moaned feeling how aggressive she has become.
“No baby, you have no idea how much I miss you”, Chae presses her head against yours, you can see her eyes are filled with nothing but madness. “Those sleepless nights, all those times I woke up in the middle of the night, dreaming that you'll be there with me on our bed. Now you're back baby, and I will show you, just how much I've been missing you, how much I needed you”, She rode you even faster, making you let out a moan. “Yeah, do you like it baby? Do you like my pussy”, Chae whispered in your ears, “Grab my ass baby, I know you've always liked them”, She said before she started kissing you again.
In for a penny, in for a pound. Your hand reached down to grab her ass cheek. The first thing you noticed was how soft and smooth her skin feels, and as you squeeze them you find yourself enjoying the firmness of it. “Do you like it baby?” Chaewon moaned, “I….. do”, Chae smiled hearing your words. “Well don't be shy, use me however you like babe”, Her words are way too potent for you, “Fuck, Chae I'm about to-” Feeling your cock throbbing inside her Chae closed your mouth with her hand. “No baby, you need to hold it in”, Your eyes give her a protesting glare as Chae continues riding you. “I know it's your first time, baby, but I need you to be strong”, She loves seeing your panicked face thinking that you are having a hard time holding it in, but then you open your mouth. “It's not my first time”, Her waist sits on you as she stops moving, her eyes clearly filled with hatred.
“My baby, my innocent baby boy was corrupted by that WHORE?” Chae wanted to scream at you, to slap you for allowing yourself to get used by some whore. “Haaaaa, that bitch, I won't let her get close to you ever again”, But then she continued moving again, “Chae?” You on the other hand are struggling to hold your ejaculation, god knows what she's gonna do if you fail to follow her commands. “I guess it would be selfish for me if I wanted you to stay virgin. But that's okay right babe? Even if it's not our first time, what matters is that from now on we will only do this with each other”, Chae finds her rhythm back, riding you aggressively. Slowly the feelings turns into torture for you, “Chae I really need to-, Fuck”, Everytime you begged her she would just bite your chest, “You can hold om just a little more right babe? I want to finish with you so wait for me a little more baby”, Chae gives you a cute pouting expression, completely contrasting how her lower body is riding you like an animal.
“Fuck Chae, please?” You whined again, this time you lost control of your face making it contort into a pathetic pleading expression. “Haaaaa, you look so cute like that”, Of course this whole thing is about the power play with Chae. She loves seeing you struggle and suffer just so you can please her. “Chae please?” you whined, “Call me babe”, Chae feels her orgasm is building up as well. “Babe, let me cum please?” Oh yeah, she's awakening a new kink right now, “Tell me you love me”, She whispered in your ears. “I love you babe”, You can feel Chae start shaking, “Tell me you'll leave that whore for me”, Last change bucko, will your rational mind return? “I will leave her for you babe, I love you”, Guess not.
“Haaaaa, then cum baby, cum inside me. Fill me up with your love please”, Hearing your total submission sends her over the edge. As your cum starts to shoot inside her, Chae kisses you again, desperately biting onto your lips as she's also having her orgasm. Your mind went blank for a moment as it short-circuited. “Haaaaa, haaaaa, haaaaa, welcome back baby, I love you”, Chae kissed your cheeks as the two of you were catching your breath. “Can you, get off me Chae?” She shakes her head, “Call me babe okay? I'm your girlfriend now so I need you to call me your baby from now on”, On top of that she kinda likes having your dick inside her. “Baby, can you get off me?” But of course, being the perfect girlfriend she will do anything to please you.
You tried to stand up when she got off of you but her hand immediately grabbed onto yours. “Where are you going?” Her voice filled with annoyance and a tiny hint of threat. “I need to wash up”, Her smile came back as she stood up with you, “Then let's have a shower together, I'll clean you babe”, She wrapped her arm around yours and pulled you to the bathroom. Once the two of you finished the shower Chae pulled you back to the bathroom and cuddled up with you. Her head rests on top of your shoulder as her finger is drawing around on your chest.
Now, how do you deal with this situation? Would you pick her over Minju? Or would you come clean to Minju that you just cheated on her. Your mind wanders around to the countless times you spend the night with Minju. Her warmth, her smile, her….. love, do they feel the same as what Chaewon is doing to you? Those memories hit you like a truck, alongside it are the guilt that just tearing you apart. Looking down at Chae, you see her smile at you before moving on to caress your hair. It really does feel like a fever dream, having her like this with you. Maybe it was a sign, Chaewon is just a dream and Minju is the reality?
Your conflicted expression doesn't escape Chae, she knows that you're having second thoughts again. It pisses her off, but she doesn't want to push you too much, after all her ex tends to use a much more delicate approach when she's being, defiant. “Baby, I feel so tired right now. You really did a number on me you know?” She wrapped her arm around you, caressing your cheek and pulling your head closer to hers so she can kiss the other one. It feels wrong, her touch, this all feels so, artificial. You stay quiet, trying to organise your mind. Chae sighed before she cuddled up closer to you, “Let's get some rest baby. You said you just got off the plane this morning right? Get some sleep baby, I'll order us food for later”, Her leg wrapped around your waist. You of course managed to read between the lines, “You are not leaving here”
“Meow”, Luna? Where did that little shit throughout all this? “Come here Luna”, Chae said, Luna jumps up onto your bed and comfortably snuggles into Chaewon's torso. Huh, that's weird, is this an omen? Chae looks at your bewildered face and starts letting Luna, “I told you I'll make her enjoy my cuddles” And I'll do the same to you, babe.
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˚ ༘⋆｡˚❀ Blossom ❀˚｡⋆ ༘˚
{Ellie Williams x Reader}
Summary: Ellie broke up with you in high school right before she left for college. At the time, it left you devastated….five years later, she’s back. And she’s back for you.
an: hi my angels! I KNOW I KNOW I HEAR YOU ALL YELLING AT ME I’m sorry this took so long. This isn’t exactly what any of you asked for, but it’s an idea Ive had for a while. Once I started it I seriously could not stop until I was finished. Yes this is a cliff hanger, and yes I’m planning a part 2. I have a bunch other things coming up as well! I hope you’re all doing well, and I thank you so so much for the patience you all have with me. I really hope you guys like this one, enjoy my loves 🖤🖤
Warnings: 18+!! Smut!! Angst!! (Is it a fic of mine if there isn’t angst at this point), small town!Ellie, it’s summer time ofc hehe, fingering (r!receiving), nipple play (r!receiving), petnames, Ellie hurt reader in the past but is extremely desperate for her now, lots of kissing, let me know if I missed anything pleaseee. (Not proofread)
You can read part 2 here!
“But…can’t we just…can you just rethink this Ellie? You always said we would be-“ Ellie was quick to cut you off as she shoved the remainder of your things into a box, her eyes never once turning in your direction as you sat on her bed, eyes staring up at her as you practically begged her to just take a moment and think about this.
“I’ve already made up my mind. I don’t want to have to worry about you while I’m away, this is what’s best” her words are cold, and stern and it almost doesn’t even sound like her, like your girlfriend isn’t even living inside the person who is currently rummaging through her closet to look for the random things you’d left throughout the years.
And you aren’t even sure what to say. Fat tears are rolling down your cheeks as you silently cry, sitting on Ellie’s bed as you plead with her to just….fucking listen to you.
The soft sniffle you let out is what finally has her looking in your direction, and she sighs. You look so small, so defeated, and she knows she’s being rough with you right now. For some reason, she doesn’t seem to care.
She puts her hand on her hip, standing near her closet for a moment before she reaches down and grabs the box, setting it on her desk. She walks over to you, standing over you as you stare down at your hands, silently crying on her bed.
“Come on…it’s late and I need to start packing…” She mumbles out, you can’t help but look up at her in disbelief. You had never seen her be this cold towards you, she was always warm and welcoming. This new side of her made you feel sick.
You know there isn’t any use in sitting there and begging her, and you decided you’d save any pride that you had left, and stop yourself from further embarrassment. You stand up, roughly wiping away your tears as you make your way towards her door. When you turn around, opening your mouth to say one last thing to her, she shoves the box into your arms and slams the door in your face.
That was five years ago.
Sometimes if you think about it hard enough, you can still think about those feelings you felt that night. Eighteen years old, heartbroken, confused, sobbing into your pillow as you begged the invisible force that was the universe to explain to you why this happened to you, and what you could have done to change the unforgiving course that your relationship with Ellie took.
And it wasn’t to say that it was sudden, or that you didn’t suspect it, you did. Your break up with Ellie was something that was bound to happen, and you both knew that, it was just her demeanor that made it seemed as though she never cared for you that came as a surprise.
Ever since the final months of your senior year together, your relationship had been estranged. Ellie had been so distant, so focused on college, but so where you. You were both extremely involved with your academic life, with your writing career being so important to you, and Ellie wanting to desperately get out of the small town you both lived in, your lives had been set in stone from the moment you both got your acceptance letters from your colleges.
The thing is, they were nowhere near each other. And you knew that it would be hard to keep a relationship with Ellie. However, you expected things to go differently, to keep in touch with the girl that had grown to be your favorite person in the entire world from the moment she took you under her wing on the first day of ninth grade.
But that isn’t what happened at all. Ellie threw you away, shoving a box of your things into your arms and sending you home without even a simple goodbye before she was getting on a plane to go to Europe for college.
As time went on, you understood why she did what she did, you just wished she’d done it differently.
And maybe you never truly got over the girl that you had fallen in love with when you were so young. Regardless of if it was puppy love or not, it was love, and your youth would never be able to take away from that.
You never truly forgave Ellie either. You got over it, and you one day woke up and figured there was no use in dwelling on something that had already happened, and that you could not change, especially since you were in college as well. You quite literally had the life you dreamed of, and worked for since you were a little girl and you weren’t taking advantage of it because of a girl that broke your heart, and no longer cared about you.
Because you knew Ellie, and you knew that she would be living her life, doing all the things she wanted to do, traveling the world and enjoying herself without anything holding her back.
So that’s what you did, you lived your life. Because no matter how upset you were, no one had the right to rob you of that.
You enjoyed the rest of your time at college, making life long friends and memories, enjoying the life of a young person living in a big city, studying your most loved subjects, even finding a cute girl every once in a while to fill the void that was your love life.
But you did it all with the girl who broke your heart in mind, the wild fire that once burned inside of you and forced countless tears from your eyes succumbing to a few pieces of burnt wood, still glowing from the previous flames that engulfed them.
Calm, but still there.
After college, you took on a few jobs and internships that would benefit your writing career, getting you in touch with good people that would point you in the write direction. You were praised for being a young writer with such a knack for writing, and before you knew it, you had an agent and a publicist who were eager to get your work on the shelves.
The city was loud, and bustling. And while it was amazing for you to party until the sun came up, and to make out with strangers outside of a bar, it wasn’t the best for writing. It was too loud, and you found that your constant state of writers block came from the overwhelming sense of stimulation that came from the city and the people in it.
It’s how you found yourself coming back to your home town during the summer, purchasing a small house in a quiet neighborhood near your parents old house. It’s small, and quiet, and has the prettiest garden with the prettiest flowers. You feel the creativity flowing through your veins the minute you sit down on the couch near your window, the calm breeze blowing through your hair.
And regardless of the fact that it’s your first time home since you left for college, and the sleepy town you grew up in holds so much hurt and pain from your younger years, you’re writing, and you’re happy.
And there’s no harm in making new memories to replace the bad ones.
It’s a normal day for you, the summer breeze is warm and inviting, and you find that these days are the best to take advantage of. The weather is nice, and warm enough that you’re able to lay out and write to your hearts content, but not hot to the point of feeling as though your brain is melting inside of your skull. You find yourself at the park near your house, laid out on a white sheet you brought from home. You chose a spot near the lake under a shady tree.
You were so confident in your newest work, finding yourself smiling like an idiot every time you felt you were typing too fast for your fingers to keep up with your thoughts. You liked it that way, getting so lost in your own little world, making it so easy to avoid the outside world that was around you.
So lost, that you didn’t even hear the low chuckle behind you.
You had to blink a few times, seemingly breaking yourself out of your trance. Your eyes had to adjust a bit to the warm glow of the afternoon instead of the bright morning sun that you remembered looking at when you first got to the park. Your eyes widened a bit when you checked the time, realizing how much time had past. You had spent the entire day writing.
“Writin’ again huh? You gettin’ close to the end?” Joel rasped out.
Joel had always loved you. From the moment Ellie brought you home, he was just as enamored with you as she was. He was used to his daughter bringing home friends all the time, always mixing up the old names with the new ones and opting to give them a polite greeting before she was dragging them up to her bedroom, Ellie always had a thing for picking up strays, he’d tell her.
But you, you were different. He saw the way Ellie’s eyes twinkled when she talked about you, the way her freckled cheeks would burn red every time he mentioned you, and whether or not Ellie wanted to invite you over for dinner. You made his daughter happy, and he loved you for that.
He wasn’t the happiest when he realized Ellie had ended things. Once the smiles that came with the mention of your name turned into aggravated huffs and eager attempts at trying to brush it off, he figured things didn’t end well.
That, and the fact that he spotted you leaving Ellie’s bedroom with a box filled with your things and tears streaming down your cheeks.
He told Ellie that night, that girls like you were hard to find. And that he hoped she at least had the decency to let you down easy, because that’s how he had raised her.
At least he hoped.
The hardest part about coming back home after so long, was that you’d feel lonely. Your parents had sold their house and decided to travel after you left, and while you were extremely happy for them, you couldn’t help but feel empty with a lack of parental guidance and warmth close by.
Joel made sure you were never without it.
When he saw the little house with the cute garden that you always talked about when you were younger had been sold, he figured you were coming back. He made sure to call you before you arrived, the man always keeping your number in his phone, regardless of the fact that his daughter had begged him time and time again to delete it.
Joel was at your door the week you moved in, pulling you into a big bear hug. The smell of his cologne and fresh cut grass almost had you in tears, because it made you remember just how much you missed home, how much you missed him…
How much you missed Ellie.
So, ever since you were back home, Joel never really went a day without seeing you. He’d take you into town to run some errands, you’d drop off some dinner to him once in a while, making sure he was eating and healthy. You’d even made it a tradition to have coffee once a week together.
Joel was lonely, you saw it in his eyes. He missed his daughter dearly and he didn’t seem to handle being an empty nester as well as your parents did. Ellie had done an amazing job at avoiding her home town as much as possible, never visiting for more than a weekend.
Joel needed a kid to look after, and you needed a parent to look after you.
You giggled softly as you closed your laptop and put it in your messenger bag. Joel was already close by, his calloused hand reaching out for yours and helping you onto your feet. You brushed your hand down your dress, getting any wrinkles out before you let out a sigh, shaking your head.
“Unfortunately not. This one’s gonna be a long one…it’ll be worth it though” you nod to yourself as you grab your sheet from the ground. Joel is already on the other side as he helps you fold it up, causing you to smile softly. “What has you out here today? Going into town?”
Joel nods in agreement, “always is kiddo. Always said you were gonna be a big author someday” he gives you a genuine smile, making his eyes crinkle until they were almost gone. He’s so proud of you, he always has been and it’s nearly enough to make your heart melt.
You smile softly as you adjust your bag on your shoulder after you put your sheet inside of it. You and Joel begin walking away from the lake and towards the side walk, and you can already see his pick up truck parked under a shady tree.
“Comin out of town actually, was in need of some groceries” He groans out, causing you to laugh softly. Joel hates grocery shopping, says he gets too distracted and never knows what he’s out of or doesn’t need.
But there’s something else there, his tone is different and you can’t help but feel like there’s something else on his mind. Something bothering him.
You bend your head down a bit, trying to get a better look at the older man’s face before you give him a small hum. “You okay Joel? Something on your mind?” You question softly. You assume he’s just missing his daughter, and you know he’d never come to you to vent about it since he knows how you feel about her.
He lets out a sigh, like he’d been holding it in from the moment he woke up, and it’s all you need to confirm that there is in fact something bothering him.
You’re both standing in front of his car at this point, the summer breeze getting cooler against your skin now that the sun has set. Joel turns towards you so that he’s facing you, and the look on his face has you worried.
He lets out another sigh, and your eyebrows are furrowed in confusion and concern as you stare up at him. “Listen kid..I uh…I can’t lie to you…wouldn’t sit right on my conscience and all…” he lets out, and you’re already scared of what he’ll say next.
“I didn’t…didn’t mean to say, really I didn’t I…it just slipped is all, when I was on the phone with her and..” he sighs softly, pausing for a moment before he starts again.
“Ellie’s coming home..” he dead pans.
And before you can even fully comprehend what he’s saying, you’re eighteen years old again, crying on your bed, begging for an answer, blaming yourself for not being enough. You can’t even fully understand that he basically just said she’s coming back because he mentioned that you’re back, because you suddenly feel like you can’t breath. Any and all progress you had made on yourself, and getting over what she did to you is set back. It’s like you didn’t make any at all to begin with, and your heart is breaking all over again.
Joel must sense that you aren’t okay, because he frowns as he waits for you to say something. He reaches out, pressing his hand against your shoulder. “Kiddo? You with me?” He asks softly, and his rough voice is the only thing that is bringing you back to earth.
You blink your eyes a few times, finally looking into his eyes rather than right through him. His expression breaks your heart, because you know he’s blaming himself for this, and he’s blaming himself for hurting you when that isn’t at all the case.
You give him a sad, small before you nod. “I’m with you Joel…” you mumble softly before you let out a sigh, paired with a half shrug.
“Things with me and Ellie…it happened, and it happened a long time ago and I can’t stop her from coming back, or you from seeing your daughter…I’m okay Joel. I promise” you nod, trying to assure the man that despite the fact that you quite literally just short circuited for a minute, that you are okay.
But he doesn’t buy it. His expression is still worried and concerned as he looks down at you. “C’mon kid…you can talk to me..just because she’s my-“ you giggle softly as you ball up your fist, punching his arm playfully to stop him before you shake your head.
“Im good Joel…it’s been long enough that…it doesn’t bother me anymore” you sigh out, trying to convince not only him but yourself.
You inhale deeply, the breeze forcing leaves to dance around both your feet before you nod towards the direction of your house. “M’gonna head home…enjoy your time with her, okay?” Your words are genuine, because you know how much he needs this, how much he needs her.
He opens his mouth to say something, to explain that although he’s looking forward to his daughter returning, he knows that it isn’t him that she’s returning for. He wants to explain that this visit has been entirely motivated by you.
But he doesn’t, he simply gives you a gentle smile as he nods. “You sure you don’t need a ride home kid?” He calls out as you’re already turning around, making your way down the familiar path that leads to your house.
You smile as you shake your head, turning around a bit as you call out to him. “The walk is good! You gotta get her room ready for her anyways. Night Joel!” You call out, cutting the conversation down completely.
Because you know you can’t do it anymore. You have to create a game plan for yourself to avoid Ellie for the next however many days she’ll be in town. You need to be alone, and in your own space so that you’re able to properly digest the news that you’d just received.
Your ex girlfriend was coming back home. The ex girlfriend that had ripped your heart out and shred it into a million tiny little pieces, that you hadn’t heard from for the last five years, who you were sure you’d go the rest of your life without seeing, was coming back to the small town that you were both from, where it all started.
You were so fucked.
Joel never have you a specific date on when his daughter was coming home, but you figured she was back once Joel’s daily texts and visits had become more sparse.
His silence was your sign to make yourself a scarce as possible. You made sure to only go out for necessities late at night, right before the shops in town closed, or extremely early before anyone in their right mind would be out.
And other than that, you’d stay home. You utilized your backyard for any sunlight you needed to get, and you were practically glued to your favorite couch near the window for a light breeze when wanting to write.
Although you were coming down with a slight case of cabin fever, you were safe from any awkward interactions, and that was fine by you.
You had spent the day cleaning, needing a bit of a reset for the new week coming in. You opened up all the windows, letting in a light breeze and airing out your house as you played music and made your way around your home, washing your sheets and folding laundry. It was therapeutic to you in a way, being able to rest later in the day in a clean home.
And that’s what you were doing now, you were showered and changed into your favorite pair of pajamas, a pair of cotton shorts with little stars on them and a tank top. You were sitting on your wooden floor in your living room, your brows furrowed as you slowly dragged the nail polish brush over one of your toes, trying to find something to do to kill the time before you had to hop into bed.
The windows were still open, a soft breeze blowing in as you hummed a random melody to yourself, your chin pressed against your knee to stabilize yourself as you painted your toes. In that moment you were so content, your head so empty of any racing thoughts that you weren’t even concerned about Ellie, or that fact that she was currently in the same town as you. It didn’t matter to you anymore.
Until you heard a firm knock at your door.
You frowned softly as you looked up at the clock on your wall, and then out one of your windows. It was already far too late for visitors, and you weren’t expecting any anyways. You sighed softly as you blew cool air gently onto your drying toes before carefully getting up, and tip toeing over to your door.
You figured it was your next door neighbor, the old woman becoming somewhat of a friend to you since you had moved in. She often came over needing help to video chat her grand kids, or to drop off some extra pastries she’d made. It worried you a bit that she’d be coming over so late in the night, a soft sigh leaving your lips as you prepared yourself to warn the old woman about the dangers of walking around so late at night, even if it was right next door.
But it wasn’t your sweet next door neighbor. It was Ellie.
You audibly gasp, your eyes going wide as you stare up at her, because you realize in that moment just how long it’s been since you’ve seen her face, and not imagined it.
She’s much taller now, her face is no longer round and youthful, but instead sharper. Her hair is much shorter, the spiky ends laying flat against the nape of her neck. You figure she cut it herself because of that. She’s still sporting the same side part, her brown fringe laying across her forehead and nearly spilling out onto her pretty green eyes.
Her eyes, they’re the same but so much different. They’re still the same shade of emerald you used to love so much, but they seem to be missing something. A certain sparkle that had been there the last few times you saw there isn’t there anymore, and it makes you want to reach out and grab her.
Your hand is gripping your door so hard, you’re sure it was enough to pull the hinges off. You’re at a loss for words, because your ex girlfriend is standing in front of you, and she’s taller, and her features are sharper, and she’s exuding something that she didn’t before all while lacking something that she used to have and….
And you can’t fucking breath.
Just like her father, she can see what’s going on inside your head. She’s chewing at her lip anxiously, because she isn’t sure how much time has passed, but enough has passed that she’s worried about you, and she’s worried about the fact that you haven’t said a single thing.
Ellie steps forward, trying to close the space between the two of you. It doesn’t close, because you back away the second you see her moving. It’s like you’re scared of her, afraid of uttering a single word to the girl in fear that it’ll only create more sorrowful memories that you’ll have to bury with the rest.
You know that if you don’t speak, she won’t leave.
“Ellie?” You breath out, as if you’d been holding it in from the moment you saw her. Ellie realizes how long it’s been since she’s heard you say her name, and now she can’t breath. Your voice hasn’t changed much, and the memories she had of you were becoming more and more blurry with each passing day. Distant echos if your voice calling her name becoming harder to decipher, unable to even tell if it was yours anymore.
But it all comes flooding back when you say it. Memories of you laying your head in her lap, or whispering sweet words in her ear. It’s all coming back in the blink of an eye and she almost can’t handle it.
She breaths out your name as well, and it’s almost like a sigh of relief. Relieved that you remember her, and that she’s standing in front of you and seeing you in the flesh, and not in a dream.
Your eyebrows furrow as she stares down at you, and you make no move to let her in further.
“Why are you here?” You mumble softly, voice thick with defense. You have to protect yourself from her, you promised yourself you would the day she broke you, and you have every intention to keep that promise.
Ellie bites her lips gently before she clears her throat. “I um..I just needed a walk…I got in a few nights ago and uh..Joel told me you lived here now, so..” she trails off. You aren’t sure you’d ever seen Ellie be this fucking awkward. Despite the confidence that oozes from her current appearance, she seems small and nervous and it almost makes you laugh.
You don’t laugh.
You furrow your eyebrows further as you eye her before you roll your eyes, already fed up with the girls excuse. “Joel’s house is on the other side of town, Ellie. Don’t play it off as if you were just in the neighborhood..” you huff out. You can’t help but ice her out, because you’ve held animosity towards Ellie for the last five years. No matter how much you wanted to get over it and be the bigger person, you’re still pissed at her.
Ellie blinks her eyes quickly in shock. She isn’t used to this tone coming from you. Her memories of you were always so sweet, and warm. She knew you wouldn’t take shit from anyone, and it was something she always loved about you.
Just not when you wouldn’t take shit from her.
Her large hand comes up to awkwardly scratch the back of her neck. You feel your insides warm up because you catch a glimpse of the large tattoo that’s covering her hand.
Damn her for getting so fucking hot over the years.
“You got me there…didn’t come as a shock though. You always loved this house” she hummed softly as she looked up at the door, and then down at the pretty flowers that decorated your front yard. It was almost like you in house form.
You tug your bottom lip under your teeth as your eyes avert to your toes, silently cursing yourself because you smudged your pinky during all the excitement that came with seeing Ellie again. You aren’t sure if it’s a good thing, or a bad thing that she remembers little things like that about you.
You figure it’s a bad thing.
You inhale deeply, still staring down at your feet. It’s killing Ellie that you won’t even look at her, she can see the prominent little frown on your face even though you’re looking down. That stupid pout was always her weakness. It’s why she refused to look at you when she broke up with you the night before she flew out to Europe.
“I think it’s best you leave, Ellie…” you mumble softly, suddenly feeling small under the girls gaze. She hates it, because she at least got to stare into your pretty eyes when you were scolding her or being mean to her. But when you were like this….it made it feel worse than all of that.
She knew she deserved it. She knew that what you were now, what you had become, was a result of her own actions. She was the one that did this, she was the one that put you in the position to treat her this way, she knew that…
She just hoped it wouldn’t have been this bad.
She doesn’t say anything, and you take that as an answer enough. You’d rather not stand at your front door being stared at by your ex girlfriend, the only sound being that of the crickets in your garden and the rustling of tree branches in the wind. So, you let out a soft sigh and gently begin pushing your door close, because you can’t take it anymore. You can’t continue being close to her because it still hurts, and you hate that it still hurts after all of this time. It makes you feel pathetic and weak, and you don’t want to deal with it anymore.
But Ellie has other plans.
Her reflexes are just as fast as you remember, because her tattooed hand comes up quickly, palm pressed flat against your door to stop you from closing it on her. The sound of it makes your eyes snap up to hers, and a sense of pride spreads through her chest because she’s finally got your eyes back on her.
She inhales deeply, pink tongue poking out of her mouth as she licks her lips. She has to think fast, and she has to find a way to keep you here because she knows she’s losing you.
“Let me take you out” she blurts out, and it makes your eyes go wide. You used to want nothing more than this, than to have Ellie at your front door, asking you out on a date.
But now that it was happening, it made you feel sick.
You let out a soft sigh, shaking your head as you tried pushing the door further against the strength of her palm. “That’s not a good idea, Ellie…just…go home…” you mumble out tiredly. Ellie almost let’s out a whine because you’re slipping through her fingers again and it seems like everything she tries isn’t fucking working.
“Please.” She begs, and her tone makes you stop pushing. You stand there as she stares down at you, eyebrows knitted as she silently begs you to hear her out, to not shut her out like she did many years ago.
“Just…so we can talk about everything…and then I’ll…I’ll leave you alone. I promise” she breaths out. Her words are genuine, and although it’s been a long time, you know Ellie, and you know when she’s telling the truth and when she isn’t. Regardless of the fact that she doesn’t deserve it, you can’t help but stare up into those pools of emerald and give in to her, just like you always did.
You let out a gentle sigh before you give her a nod. “I…fine…meet me in town tomorrow morning. Your dad has my-“ she cuts you off before you can even go any further.
“Has your number, I know.” She chuckles softly, hoping that she’s able to lighten the mood even a little bit. But you don’t budge, your words are stern and your brows are furrowed as you stare up at her, determined to let her know that this is simply one conversation she’ll be having with you, and not a sign of getting back into your life.
You give her a firm nod before you look out into the dark abyss that was your neighborhood. Where you lived was relatively safe, but you couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling you had when thinking about the girl walking home by herself so late, and so far.
“Do you need me to call him for you? I’m sure he’d come pick you up…so you don’t have to walk all the way back” you mumble out softly. Her lips tug into a smile as she watches you, her stomach fluttering with those stupid butterflies you never failed to give her, because the mere fact that you’re worried about her getting home is giving her hope that she can reverse all the bullshit she put you through, completely disregarding the fact that it could one hundred percent be you just being a good person.
“Nah, I’ve got it from here. I’m a big girl…you get some rest though. I’ll see you in the morning” she hums out, and you swear for a moment your transported back to Ellie dropping you off at your house after a date. She’d always whisper the sweetest things to you after giving you an even sweet kiss, and all though her appearance had changed since then, she still had the power of making you swoon every time she bid you a good night.
You opened your mouth to respond, but no words came out. You quickly closed them in fear of saying something stupid before you gave her a quick nod. “Night, Ellie…” you manage to mumble softly, and she gives you her signature charming smile before she jogs off the steps of your porch, and onto the sidewalk that would leave her home, a noticeable pep in her step as she left.
You watch her at your door until she’s out of view, quickly slamming your door shut and letting out a loud huff, your back pressed against the door as you try to recollect yourself and process everything that had just happened.
You stay for a moment longer before you lock your door, close all of your windows and rush upstairs to get to bed, just like Ellie had told you to.
The next morning was not pleasant.
It was one of those days where you hated every single article of clothing that you owned. Every dress was either too long or too tight, all of your tops were either too big or too small, and every pair of jeans just didn’t go with what you had in mind.
Different articles of clothing covered almost your entire bedroom floor, with no stop in sight as you continued to throw shirts and socks behind you from your closet. You let out a loud huff before you fell backwards onto your bed, your hand holding onto the point at which the towel around your body folded so that it would stay closed.
You had been on your fair share of dates since Ellie. A few when you lived in the city, some while you were back home, all of which were fun and things that you looked forward to, none of which making you feel the way you felt while getting ready for this one.
And calling it a date was a complete stretch. All Ellie asked, was to meet over coffee. More than likely so that she could explain herself and give you the closure she assumed you deserved after five years, so that she’d be able to get any guilt she had for leaving you off of her chest.
But still, you were fucking nervous, and you couldn’t ignore the fact that you wanted to make a good impression. You even grabbed your phone a few times, opening your messages with Joel and typing out a pathetic excuse to him explaining that you had work to do, or you had an errand to run and to tell Ellie you wouldn’t be able to make it.
You didn’t, though. You sucked it up, got your ass of of your bed and took a deep breath in before you went back into your closet, determined to find something decent to wear.
After another thirty minutes of rummaging through your closet, you settled on your favorite pair of blue jeans, a white corset style top that had little lace trimming on the ends, and your favorite pair of sneakers just to be comfy.
The early morning sun beaming down on your exposed shoulders was enough to bring you back to earth, giving you a moment to collect yourself before you saw Ellie again. It was truly all out of a dream, or a nightmare, or a really bizarre situation that you didn’t foresee happening at all for yourself.
Ellie was back, and she made her way to your house to ask you out on a…whatever it was you were currently walking into, and you had no idea what would come of any of this or why you even said yes in the first place.
But one thing you knew to stand true, was that you were still hurt, and you weren’t going to let her off easy.
Once you got into town, you gave a few familiar faces a small wave paired with a sweet smile, one of your hands clutching the strap to your bag as you searched for a small bench to sit on while you waited for Ellie, You settled on one underneath a shady tree.
Ellie feels like her heart stops when she gets out of her dads car and spots you. You’ve always been pretty, Ellie would think about your features and try her best to burn them into her memory after she left because you were always the prettiest girl Ellie had ever seen.
But now…god, now you were ethereal. Your face hadn’t changed much, your hair was a bit shorter and it framed your face a bit more, but you had become a woman. You’d grown up, and you had this overwhelming glow to you that made it hard to look away.
And as you sat there, summer breeze blowing through your pretty hair, the rays of the sun casting down onto your beautiful skin, making it look like you were practically sparkling, in the prettiest little top, you looked like a fucking dream come true. Like every persons fantasy come to life.
And it reminded Ellie of what she chased away, of all that she could have had, but couldn’t since she made her bed and was now forced to lay in it.
She almost wanted to get back into the car and run again, run away from you and the feelings you gave her. She knew this was all a long shot to begin with, and that it wasn’t a guarantee of anything, but knowing that she at least at the opportunity to stare into your eyes for a few moments longer, and create more memories with you that were hers and hers only to keep, it made her weak in the knees, and it made her heart beat faster.
And no matter how long she had with you, it was worth it.
Her feet were carrying her towards you before she could even comprehend that she was doing so, like gravity pulling her closer and closer to her life line. It was like she couldn’t breath properly for five years, a strange weight settling in on her chest every time she was alone and had time to think about things.
One that she no longer felt when she was with you.
Her footsteps crunching against the grass make you look up, and it’s almost enough to make Ellie run. Your eyes are so pretty, and she feels like she can get lost in them for hours at a time.
She misses when your face would light up when you saw her, the way your eyes would sparkle and your plump lips would tug into a shy little smile. Now, all she sees when you look at her is sadness, and pain that she’s caused, and it’s killing her because you don’t trust her anymore, and anyone could see that.
You inhale deeply as you stand up, your hand toying with the strap of your bag as you awkwardly stand in front of her. “Hey…” you mumble softly, and you want to die because you should have said no. You should have told Ellie this wasn’t a good idea and that you didn’t want to see her because you’d rather have not done this just to avoid how fucking awkward the entire ordeal is.
And it hurts to know that this is what you’ve become. The person you regarded as one of your favorites for so long had become a complete stranger. Ellie had lived a life for five years without you in it, and you her, and you feel like there’s no use in even speaking to her anymore because you don’t know her, and she doesn’t know you.
Ellie licks her lips as she watches you, her hands balling up into firsts before she shakes them away, trying to shake away the urge she has to reach out and grab you. That’s the hardest part for her, seeing the girl that she’s wanted for the last five years standing right in front of her, and not being able to grab you and wrap you up in her arms.
She clears her throat, looking around a bit at all of the little shops and stores that are currently opening up. Her hands are stuffed in her pocket as she nods towards them. “Any of these places good?” She questions, and you blink a few times before you nod, pointing towards your favorite coffee shop. She smiles softly when she spots the place, because of course your favorite coffee shop is the most adorable one in town.
Soon, you’re both sitting in a tiny booth tucked away in the corner of the empty coffee shop. Ellie insisted she buy both of your drinks, as much as it bothered you to stand next to her and let her pay for your things, you let her because you didn’t want an argument.
Ellie feels like none of this is even real, because you’re sitting across from her and the sun is hitting your skin in the most beautiful way, and your plump lips are sparkling as they wrap around the straw of your drink, and she’s staring, she knows she’s staring but she can’t help herself. You’re a fucking dream to her, and you always will be.
She blinks a few times before she clears her throat, her large hand cupping her white mug. “So, uh…how have you been?” She questions, her voice nervous and unsure of what exactly to ask you.
You scoff gently, your eyes rolling before you speak up. “Seriously Ellie? How have I been? I don’t see it hear from you for five years and we sit down to talk and that’s what you ask me?” You question in disbelief as you stare at her as if she’s stupid. She groans softly, her strong, veiny hands coming up and rubbing her face harshly before she sighs.
“Fuck. Fuck, I know. I’m nervous, okay? It’s been a long time and…I know this is probably really fucking weird for you but..” she sighs softly, worried that if she keeps going she’ll fuck things up with you even further than she already has. She inhales deeply before exhaling, trying her best to gather her words before she tries again.
“I just…you deserve an apology, a real apology and not some bullshit excuse for one. It’s the least I can do” she pleads genuinely, her eyes searching for any sign of getting through to you.
You sigh softly, your fingers toying with the little raised designs on your glass as you avoid Ellie’s eyes. “Was it at least worth it?” You mumble softly, your voice sad and small.
Ellie feels like she’ll break right then and there.
The guilt she’s felt every day since she left you is no match to what she feels when she hears your words. It’s eating away at her, and it’s making it feel like there a weight sitting on her chest that she can’t get rid of no matter what.
She can’t even find the words to explain to you that none of it was worth it. She sabotaged every relationship she made in college because those girls weren’t you, and she was aggravated with them for not being you and that made things even worse. She missed you every single day, and she wanted nothing more than to come home to you after it all.
Ellie inhales deeply, a deep frown painting her face before she sighs. “I think you and I both know the answer to that…” she mumbles out, because she’s too ashamed to admit to you that it wasn’t at all worth it, and that she was wrong.
You hum softly, giving a slight nod as your finger dances along the rim of your glass. “Joel always wants to brag about how great you’ve done…stops himself so I won’t get sad” you chuckle dryly. Ellie sighs softly, knowing her father all too well, and knowing that he took the chance to brag about her whenever he could.
She opens her mouth to apologize for it, but you cut her off.
“I don’t fault you for what you did Ellie…I thought I did, for a long time..” you breath out, pausing for a moment before you start again, giving her a weak shrug. “I just wished you weren’t…so harsh about it…I don’t mean to make you feel bad but it really fucked me up for a while” you admit, trying your best to convey to her that she hurt you, and that it wasn’t okay.
Ellie licks her lips as she listens to you, eyes never leaving your face regardless of the fact that you refuse to look at her. She adjusts herself a bit so she’s leaning forward, wanting to be as close to you as possible before she speaks. “You have…every right to be upset with me. I thought it was a good idea, and doing it as cold as possible just seemed right for us…we were so attached to each other…I got scared that we wouldn’t make it on our own” she sighs out. She’s rambling at this point, and she can’t stop.
“But fuck, I was so fucking young, we were so fucking young. I was barely eighteen and I was traveling across the world to live on my own and…and I was nervous and scared and I…I just felt like since I was getting the one thing I’d wanted for so long, I didn’t deserve to have you too” her voice is tired, and her throat and mouth is getting dry as she goes on and on and it’s making her voice hoarse, but she can’t stop because this is her one chance to explain everything to you.
You finally look up at her from your glass, a soft pout on your lips as you think back to it all. Ellie never felt like she deserved things. Her supportive father, leaving the town she was born in, you, she felt like those good things weren’t meant to be hers. From the moment you met her, you promised her that she did deserve those things, and that she deserved every good thing the world had to offer.
But Ellie always begged to differ.
You hummed softly, nodding in understanding as you stared into her eyes. “It happened, Ellie. You and I can’t change the past. You have your life in the city, and I have mine here..” you nodded slowly, sighing softly as you look out the window.
“I’m happy you came back, and I’m happy we spoke. Joel misses you a lot you know…you should visit him more often” you smile softly as you watched her before you sighed, reaching into your purse and grabbing a few dollars from it. You count it out quickly before you place it on the table. “Here, this should cover mine..” you nod to yourself before you adjust your bag onto your shoulder and slide out of the bouncy booth seat to leave.
Ellie begins to panic as she watches you get ready to leave, because this is her first time seeing you in five years and there’s no way it’s ending so quickly. She needs more time with you, she needs to look at you longer, she needs to hear more about what you’ve been up to.
“You’re leaving already?” She interrupts, she sounds disappointed. You raise your eyebrows as you look back at her before you give her a slight shrug. “We talked, you explained yourself, I listened. That’s all there is too it, right?” You mumble nonchalantly. She’s already on her feet, grabbing the cash you put on the table and pushing it in your direction.
You giggle softly, pressing your palm against her hand and pushing it towards her body. She feels like she might faint because not only is it the first time she’s hearing your sweet giggle in five years, but your soft hand is touching hers. She can feel herself sweating from the small interaction alone.
“I’m not mad at you anymore Ellie…any guilt you have is gone now…” you nod slowly before giving her a half smile. “Have fun with your dad, okay? It was nice seeing you” you finish, giving her a small wave before turning around and walking towards the door of the coffee shop to leave.
Ellie stands in her spot for a moment, frozen as she stares down at her hand, the one you just touched. She blinks out of her trance and rushes out of the shop, chasing after you as you make your way down the side walk. When she catches up to you, she’s breathing heavily. Your eyes widen as you turn around and catch sight of the talk girl standing in front of you.
“Lemme give you a ride home” she blurts out, causing you to furrow your eyebrows a bit as you watch her. You watch her for a moment, not saying a word, because despite everything, and despite the fact that you gave Ellie a chance to explain herself, you’re still weary of her, and you’d still prefer to keep her out of your life.
But, in typical Ellie fashion, she has other plans.
Knowing she won’t take no for an answer, you eye her for a moment longer before sighing softly and giving her a slight nod. You figure the sun is extremely warm today anyways, and the walk would have you dripping in sweat by the time you made it home anyways.
The drive home reminds you of when you and Ellie were dating.
You loved watching Ellie when she drove. Her strong hand loosely gripping the steering wheel, her other draped over her own thigh (her favorite spot used to be your thigh), tongue poking past her pink lips as she concentrated on the road, her favorite song playing on the radio, wind blowing through her pretty brown hair.
It was extremely fucking hard to not gawk at her the whole way home.
She struggled too. You looked so pretty sitting next to her, her little passenger princess. Ellie loved doing things for you, she loved feeling needed by you. Providing for you was one thing that made her feel like the best possible girlfriend she could ever be to you.
And even now, when you wouldn’t even utter a single syllable to her in the passenger seat of her dads car, she still felt her chest warm up at the fact that she was driving you home.
The car came to a slow stop once she pulled up to your house, parking in the empty drive way as she turned the car off. She hums softly, her hands falling to rest on her spread thighs as she stares at your house.
You clear your throat a bit before your grab your bag off of your lap, pulling the strap onto your shoulder before you open the door for yourself and give her a small smile. “Thanks Ellie…” you breath you. She gives you a slight nod paired with a smile as she watches you.
But you don’t move.
You know you shouldn’t, but you truly can’t stop yourself from speaking the words that are hanging off your tongue. You inhale deeply before you blurt out “do you…wanna come inside? It’s just so hot and I can get you something to drink before you leave-“ Ellie’s eyes go wide as she hears your words, and before you have time to finish, she cuts you off.
“Yes!” She slightly shouts, causing you to flinch. She clears her throat, quickly giving you a nod as she tries to compose herself. “I mean…yeah…yeah sure I’ll come in. M’not doing anything today..” she breaths out almost sheepishly as she watches you with love sick eyes.
You stifle a laugh as you nod, getting out of the car and walking down the little flowered path that leads to your home. Anxiety fills up your chest because Ellie is standing behind you as you open your door for you both, and you can’t properly count how many times you’ve truly imagined this, but it’s finally happening and you’re losing your mind.
When you finally manage to open the door, Ellie almost falls to her knees because your home is every thing she imagined it would be. It’s filled with all the little things that make you, you. She can even spot a few things that you had when you were younger, and it makes her wonder if you have anything from her still.
You lead her to your living room, letting her know that she can make herself at home before you go into the kitchen. You pour her a big glass of peach sweet tea with ice before you bring it back to her.
Her eyes light up when she spots the drink, and instantly takes it. “Shit, you still make this? My dad talks about it all the time” she rushes out before she takes a large gulp, the girl almost finishing half the glass. You giggle softly as you watch her, humming as you give her a gentle shrug. “It’s a good recipe..can’t let those go, you know?”
Your words can be applied to something else, you both know it.
She sighs softly as she sets the glass down. You raise your eyebrows when you see some of the drink running down her chin. “You’ve got a little…just…uh” you mumble softly as you bend down a bit, bringing your thumb to her chin and swiping it off.
It’s your first time being this close to her, and she feels like the world has stopped right then and there.
Her big green eyes are staring down at you as you wipe the tea off her face, and she clears her throat to hold back any groaning that she’ll do since you’re this close. The noise is what snaps you out of it, and you quickly move away from her, mumbling a quick apology.
Ellie blinks a few times, her cheeks red as she tries to compose herself for a moment. She inhales deeply, opening her mouth to apologize herself before you speak up. “I’ll just…take the glass so you can be on your way..” you mumble softly, reaching down and trying to take the glass.
A loud clap of thunder makes you flinch, a small gasp leaving your lips as you look outside. The heat from earlier has brought in a thick blanket of dark grey clouds that have covered the entire sky. Lightning flashes across the sky before another clap of thunder rumbles through your home, causing Ellie to groan as she stands up.
“Fuck…that one’s gonna be bad…I better get going before it-“ she’s cut off by the harsh sound of the sudden rain fall slamming onto the ground outside, causing her to sigh loudly.
The rain is hard, and heavy, and extremely unforgiving. You’re both staring outside your window as you watch the storm force everything outside to go blurry with the white cast that the heavy water droplets bring.
“You’re not driving in that” you say sternly, quickly moving towards your windows and making sure they’re all shut so that nothing will get wet. Ellie raises her eyebrows as she watches you, knowing all too well that she’d want nothing more than to stay, and the fact that you’re insisting makes her heart flutter with joy.
“It’s not that bad…I wouldn’t want to intrude or anything..” she mumbles softly as she walks towards your other window to make sure they’re closed as well. You watch her from the corner of your eye before you quickly shake your head. “And I wouldn’t want you getting in a car accident. You can leave once it lets up a bit” you nod to yourself, not giving the girl any room for argument.
Ellie bites back a smile as she nods, trying not to get too ahead of herself.
The storm lasts longer than expected.
What usually is a short summer shower turned out to be a full blown storm that lasted well past sundown. You and Ellie got past the awkward silence that came with her staying over longer much quicker than expected.
You were both sitting on the floor of your living room, Monopoly splayed out between the both of you as you cheated Ellie of her money for the third time that game. Ellie groaned loudly, counting out the few rainbow colored bills before she threw them onto the floor.
“You fucking got me again. I’m broke, I can’t afford anymore property” she grumbles out. You giggle softly, repositioning your countless cards and bills as you shrug. “Shouldn’t have let me be banker then” you hum softly. Ellie smirks softly as her eyes watch you, her heart swelling with how fucking domestic this all felt.
She’d let you rip her heart out of her body if you wanted. Whatever you wanted, she’d give it to you.
You rested your chin on your knee as you stared at the board for a moment before looking over at her. “You always sucked at this game” your words are soft as you think back to the countless nights you’d stay up together playing cheesy board games together. You loved seeing her brows furrow in frustration every time you miraculously beat her once again, adding to your winning streak.
She smiled softly as she nodded, her eyes never leaving yours as she hummed. “You’re just too fucking good” she chuckles softly. Her words make your insides twist with delight, and you know you can’t look at her. Because she’s most definitely doing that stupid smirk that makes you burn from the inside out, and it makes you want to leap over this stupid board game and tackle her stupidly pretty face.
She notices your lack of a response, she takes it as an opportunity.
“I really miss you, blossom..” the nickname is one you haven’t heard in years. It was Ellie’s, and Ellie’s only. She came up with it soon after she had first met you, said it’s cause you reminded her of the prettiest spring flower she’d ever seen.
It makes you pause, stopping dead in your tracks as you began packing away the board game. Ellie knows she’s done it now, but she keeps going.
“And I know I don’t deserve it, but if you can just-“ your words cut off hers, because her voice is pleading and it almost sounds like she’s fucking begging you to hear her out.
“Ellie.” You warn her. She inhales deeply, pushing the board aside to move closer towards you. Her movements are slow, because she wants to give you the opportunity to stop her if you need to.
“Please…just…” she sighs out, her voice thick with a need for you as she places her long, veiny fingers under your chin, tilting it up slightly to force you to look into her eyes. When you do, you feel the air is knocked out of your chest. Her gaze is heavy and intense and she’s so fucking close. Her other hand comes down, pushing your knees apart so that she can make her way between the space of your legs.
“I know I haven’t been around, and I know what I did was wrong but just….please give me a chance to fix it…just one…I promise I won’t fuck this up..” she breaths out. She’s so close that you can feel her breath wafting against your lips. It makes you whine softly, and it makes her feel like she can’t fucking control herself.
Your eyes dart back and forth between her lips and her eyes. Your head is so clouded with her, she’s filling you up to the brim and..
And you don’t want it to stop.
You stare up into her eyes, your own big and needy before you give her a soft nod. It’s all she needs to cup your face with both of her big hands, and kiss you passionately.
You moan softly into her mouth, your hand coming up and gripping her tattooed wrist as she dominates the kiss. Memories from your past with her comes flooding in, because her lips feel exactly like you remember, her so different.
You can tell how much older she is now, how much older you both are. Kisses that were once sweet and innocent are no passionate and heavy. Her need for you is practically pouring into your mouth as she kisses you, it’s sloppy and needy and she uses any opportunity to slip her tongue into your mouth.
You gasp softly against her, and that’s when she does it. Her tongue is swirling around your mouth, wanting to explore every crevice of you so that she can remember it for the rest of her life. She’s crawling into you, pushing you back so that your back hits the edge of your couch.
“Ellie…” you moan out softly, your hands coming down to tug at her t shirt as you kiss her harder. The sound of your voice drives her further to do more for you. She nods gently as she brings her hand down to undo the clasps of your top. “I’m right here baby…I’m right here…” she sighs out as she begins removing your clothes.
You whine softly, because soon enough you’re nearly bare in front of her. You’re only in a pair of your cotton panties and you can’t help but bring your arms up to shield your chest from her. She frowns softly as she looks down at you, gently pulling your arms away as she leans in to press a loving kiss to your lips. “Don’t hide from me princess…it’s just me..” she hums softly against your lips.
And you know it’s just Ellie, but it’s hard because she’s not you’re Ellie anymore. She hasn’t been your Ellie for five years and it makes it feel like you’re bare in front of a stranger, all while being bare in front of the person you’ve wanted for such a long time, the person you’ve yearned for. It makes your head spin, and it makes it hard to breath and focus on Ellie’s lips on yours.
She knows it, because you’re struggling to kiss her back. She pulls back gently, bringing her hand up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “You with me baby? You need me to stop?” She questions genuinely, her eyes searching yours for any sign of reassurance that you may need as her other hand strokes your arm gently.
You bite your lip as you stare up at her, and you know that if you open your mouth and speak, you’ll break down. You know that if you give in and tell her what’s on your mind, you’ll dig yourself in a deeper hole than you already are in.
Instead, you simply remove your hands from your chest and grab Ellie, pulling her closer and smashing your lips against hers in a needy kiss.
She knows better, she knows something is going on inside your mind. She knows that she needs to go further and make sure you’re okay, but she can’t ignore how good you feel against her, and how long she’s wanted you in this exact position.
She groans softly against your lips as one of her hands travels down to your body. Her skilled fingers pull and tug at your nipple between her fingers, causing you to moan into her mouth before she continues to travel down your body. Her hand finds it’s way between your legs, and she hisses the second she cups your clothes pussy.
“Fuck…so fuckin’ wet for me…you poor thing…” she groans softly. You moan softly as you break the kiss, looking down at the sinful sight that is her hand between your legs, rolling small circles onto your clit. She groans softly, her other hand grabbing your chin as she angles your face up and chases your lips. “Nah uh…need you here baby, need that pretty mouth while I’m playing with your pussy, got it?” She mumbles out, her voice hoarse. Her dominant tone makes your pussy ache, and you nod obediently as you let her back in, kissing her hungrily.
She hums softly as she continues kissing you as she rubs your clit, your slick covering the entire front of your panties. Ellie smirks softly as she finally breaks the kiss, needy to see the mess you’ve made, the mess you’ve made for her. She groans softly as she pulls your panties to the side, hissing softly as she rubs your bare clit a few times before she slips two fingers into you.
“Look at that…so fucking pretty…Jesus Christ…” she whispers out as she stares at your sopping pussy. You moan loudly once her fingers slip into you, your eyes rolling back as your head hits the edge of your couch.
“F-fuck Ellie…right there…fingers feel so..mmm…so good” you moan loudly for her, your back arching up off the edge of the couch as you wiggle and squirm beneath her. Ellie marvels at your body like it’s a work of art, groaning softly as her long fingers fuck up into your weeping cunt.
“Wish you could see yourself, Angel…prettiest fucking girl I’ve ever seen” she groans out as she stares down at your body, her other hand coming up and caressing your body before she cups your boob, giving it a firm squeeze before she moves down to catch your nipple into her mouth, swirling it around her tongue before sucking harshly on your skin.
You cry out for her, your body feeling extremely sensitive as she works on you. She makes sure to not leave any part of you without attention. You moan softly as you look down at her, your swollen bottom lip tugged between your teeth as you tug at her hair, your eyes low, hazy and lust filled as you whine for her.
“M’so close Els…mm…fuck…I can’t fucking…ahh” you cry out, already so fucked out you’re barely able to finish your sentences properly. She smirks softly against your skin before releasing your nipple with a pop, giving you an urging nod as she stares into your eyes. “Come on baby, give it to me…let it out for me, that’s it…” she groans out as she stares at you.
You whine softly as you stare into her eyes. It’s so intense, and it feels like so much more than her just fucking you with her fingers. It’s heavy, and it feels like your missing half is finally back with you after so long.
You’re moaning and whimpering and huffing for her as she works on your pussy, her fingers toying with you as if she knew you like the back of her hand. You want to hold on longer, and make this moment as long lasting as possible. Your eyes squeeze shut as you moan out for her loudly, your back arching almost painfully as you cum hard all over her fingers, moaning her name like a mantra.
Ellie feels like she’s seeing fireworks. She stares at you in awe as you come undone beneath her. It’s the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen, it’s raw and real and it’s you, and she wants to burn it into her memory for the rest of her days.
“That’s it…that’s my good fucking girl…Jesus Christ you’re so fucking beautiful…fuck…” she groans out, and you’d swear she was the one who just came the hardest she’s ever had in her entire life.
Her praises make you whimper as you come down from your orgasm, whining softly as her fingers slow down and slip out of your sore pussy. She leans down, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. You’re so fucked out, that you hardly realize you’re being lifted off the ground and up into Ellie’s arms.
You hum softly as you nestle your face into Ellie’s neck as she gently rests you on your bed, pressing a soft kiss to your head. “I’ll be right back baby…okay?” She mumbles softly as she pushes the hair on your face back. You mumble a quiet response to her as you cuddle into your soft sheets, your bare body cold in the open air of your room.
Ellie returns with a rag from your bathroom with warm water, and she smiles softly at you. Seeing you cuddled up on the bed warms her heart, and she feels like she’s falling in love with you all over again.
She gently pushed your thighs apart, cleaning you up as gently as possible. You don’t seem to mind much, the sound of the rain against your window is enough to lull you into a gentle sleep, which makes her chuckle softly as she leaves the room and tosses the rag into your hamper.
She quickly finds a t shirt for you to wear, slipping it over your body before she tucks you into bed, smiling softly when you cuddle into your pillow almost immediately. Ellie quietly pulls her jeans off, leaving her only in her t shirt and her boxers before she crawls into bed right next to you. She pulls you close by your waist, humming as she pressed her nose into your hair and inhales deeply, the scent of you making her mind floor with memories of you and her in the past.
She sighs softly, her eyes looking towards the window as the harsh rain continued pelting down onto your window before her own eyes closed, her fingers drawing small shapes into your skin as she held you close against your chest.
And as you drifted off into a deep sleep with each passing moment, all you could think about was Ellie, and how much pain she had caused you in the past.
And how much harder it would be to get over it than you thought.
#ellie williams#ellie williams smut#ellie williams x y/n#ellie williams x female reader#ellie williams x you#ellie tlou#ellie x y/n#ellie the last of us#ellie x you
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Robbers - A Chris Sturniolo One Shot (AU)
Chris Sturniolo x Fem Reader
Summary: Your boyfriend Chris Sturniolo is a part of The Disciples, one of the most notorious Portuguese gangs in Boston. For the past year and a half, you’ve witnessed him take part in the most dangerous crimes. But what happens when one day, you're forced to participate with him? You know it’s extremely toxic and goes against all your morals. Despite that, you just can’t help the way you love him, the way you would do anything for him. Even rob a gas station.
Content Warnings: smut, raw penetration, fingering, oral, themes of criminal activity and violence, mentions of shooting, guns, and blood. descriptions of gunshot wounds, gun play, drugs and drug use, smoking, use of alcohol, murder, robbery, toxic relationship
a/n: I do not condone any actions in this story or promote gun violence. I do not intend in any way shape or form to offend anyone. This is one is a little dark and has a lot of mature themes as well as a gun kink, which can be uncomfortable for people. Please only read what you can handle. <3
word count: 6,452 (!!!!) ik it's long but pls read it all, i spent a lot of time on this one.
Watch this music video before reading, just trust me: The 1975 - Robbers (Official Video) (Explicit) (youtube.com)
Fall 2025
You drop your cigarette to the ground, your sneaker snuffing out the cherry as you crush it against the wet concrete. There’s a light drizzle tonight, temperatures dipping as early September arrives in the city of Boston.
You sigh, leaning your head against the brick wall and tucking your hands into the hoodie of your pocket. What’s taking him so long?
Your boyfriend had been inside the house for 30 minutes now and it was making you nervous. Each time you went with him to these types of jobs, you were scared. You would never let him see that, but you were always worried something bad was going to happen.
Granted, he knew how to take care of himself perfectly fine, but it was the other people he was meeting up with you didn’t trust. You were constantly on edge every time you would wait for him, anxious whether he would come back to you alive.
He didn’t like the idea of you coming along with him at first, but when you convinced him it didn’t make a difference whether you stayed home and waited for him or if you came along, he eventually gave in, making you take a gun with you just in case you needed to use it.
He had taken his time to teach you how to hold and shoot it properly, making sure you wouldn’t fuck up and accidentally shoot yourself. He taught you a lot of things, like how to throw a good punch without breaking your hand, how to roll a blunt the right way, how to steal from the liquor store without getting caught.
You met Chris almost a year and a half ago now, at a mansion party one of your friends had dragged you to one night. She begged you to go, saying her friend Jonah there knew a guy, who knew a guy, that knew this one guy that had the best weed in the city.
She failed to mention this guy was a member of The Disciples. His name was Chris Sturniolo and he was known to beat up anyone who crossed him. You had heard rumors before about him, he sold a lot of drugs, and he didn’t fuck around when it came to his money.
So naturally, you were a little intimidated when you were introduced, sitting next to him on the large plush white couch. His friends sat around him, smoking and talking amongst themselves, and you noticed the looks they gave you and your friend. You definitely stuck out like a sore thumb.
“Hi, I’m Layla, my friend Jonah said you could get me some K2.” Your friend said, like she had done this a thousand times before.
“What’s up Layla. Who’s your friend?” Chris asked, looking straight to you.
You fought the urge to shrink into the couch, his piercing gaze burning into you. His long hair stuck out from his beanie, smoke filtering through his nose as he inhaled the joint he was puffing on.
“Uh, this is Y/N.” She replies, looking at you hesitantly. “She’s a little shy.”
You smiled awkwardly, the look in his eyes still making you squirm in your seat.
“You look too good to be here, mama.” he says, grabbing a baggie from his pocket, handing it to Layla. She takes it, getting the money from her pocket to give in return but he simply shakes his head. “Keep it.”
She looks shocked, looking at you again and you shrug, unsure why this drug dealer is giving you both a free pass. His eyes haven’t left you, looking you up and down without shame. You feel like he’s undressing you with his eyes but the longer you make eye contact with him, you don’t feel uncomfortable. You feel curious, like there’s a magnetic pull in between you two.
“Want a taste?” he asks, motioning with his head for you to come closer, holding out the joint for you to try.
You hesitate for a few seconds before you scoot closer to him on the couch, your thigh now brushing his. He smirks and holds the joint close to your mouth as you close the gap, leaning forward a little to wrap your lips around it, slightly touching his fingertips.
You take a small hit, inhaling the smoke into your lungs as you lean back into place, his eyes on your mouth as you exhale.
Your friend Laya feels the obvious tension that’s now in the room, watching the interaction between you two. “I’m gonna go find Jonah.” She says to you, and you simply nod, never breaking eye contact with Chris.
The loud music of the party vibrates through the room, making it hard to hear but you don’t need to exchange words to know what you both are thinking. He takes another hit, holding the smoke in his mouth as he leans even closer to you, placing a hand on your jaw, silently telling you to open your mouth. When you do, he hovers his lips over yours, blowing the smoke into your mouth and you inhale, holding it for a few seconds until you blow it out.
He then moves his head down, placing a single soft kiss on your neck, directly under your jaw and whispers in your ear, “Meet me in the bathroom.”
Needless to say, you’ve been attached to each other since that night, a whirlwind romance from the start.
Chris finally comes around the side of the house, backpack around his shoulder. You sigh in relief, and he smiles when he sees you, putting an arm around your waist as you walk next to him towards the car. “Worried about me, baby?” He teases, opening the passenger side door for you.
“Always.” You reply and he closes the door, walking around to get into the driver’s seat, throwing the bag in the back. He takes off, one hand on the steering wheel and the other rests on your thigh. You can’t help but notice something a little off about him though. He’s not very talkative like he usually is, and his hand grips the wheel a little too hard, his body tense.
“Chris, what happened in there? Why did it take so long?” You ask, looking at him until he finally makes eye contact with you. And what you see makes your stomach turn because you see an emotion across his face that you’ve never seen before.
Fear.
He licks his lips nervously, looking back to the road. He knows that you noticed. “We’ll talk once we get back to the house, okay?” he replied, giving a reassuring squeeze on your thigh.
You were only about 10 or 15 minutes away, but you had a strong feeling that something was really wrong. “Don’t bullshit me. Tell me now.” You demand. He looks at you, not liking the tone of your voice. “Please.” You add a little softer and he sighs, knowing that you wouldn’t let it go that easily.
“The deal went fine. Jason seemed to be satisfied with the profit from last month. But he wants me to do a job next weekend…” He starts, looking more nervous by the minute.
“Okay? What job?” You pry, not understanding what was wrong. Jason is Chris’s “boss” and usually gives the orders on what to do. He also supplies Chris with all the drugs he needs to sell, cutting him in on half the earnings. Which is considered generous in his line of work. As long as Chris does whatever he asks.
“He wants me to hit a gas station. The one on the corner of South Street. But it’s not just any old gas station. It’s a front for a drug spot and they’re stealing a lot of our customers. So, I gotta bust it. But Jason doesn’t want anyone dead, he’s gonna have some of his guys go in after I’m done and take them to the warehouse. I just gotta get away with the cash and drugs.” He explains.
“By yourself? What about Tommy?” You ask. Tommy was one of Chris’s partners and usually went on jobs like these with him.
Chris stays silent for a few minutes, his eyes focused on the road. He makes a left turn, both hands on the wheel now. The streetlights passing cast a yellow tinted light into the car, and you can see whatever internal struggle is going through his head right now on his face.
“Chris?” You say quietly, leaning forward to try and get him to look at you.
He doesn’t though, his jaw clenching and hands tightening on the wheel.
“Not by myself… He wants me to bring you.” he finally says quietly.
You’re unsure of what to say, not really processing what he’s telling you.
“What do you mean? Bring me with you to the job? Isn’t that what I’ve been doing?” You ask, utterly confused about what’s going on.
“I mean he wants you to do the job with me. Be my partner.” He replies, now pulling into the driveway of his house and putting the car in park. Now he turns to fully face you and his expression is a mix of anger and regret.
“Ever since you started tagging along with me, Jason hasn’t liked it. He says this work is no place for a woman. I really don’t give a fuck about what he says, I never have. I’m not stupid, I know I’m risking a lot by even having you around someone like me. But I told you from the start, I will always protect you. Nothing and no one is gonna lay a fucking finger on you.” He says, his hand coming up to stroke your face.
You grab his wrist, holding his hand there. “Hold on- he wants me to help you rob the gas station?” You ask, your heart racing as you now understand what Chris means. You knew Jason never liked you, you got a dark vibe from him the few times you had been around him. In fact, you don’t think he liked anybody. Chris told you many stories of how ruthless he could be.
“Baby, you’re not doing anything he says okay? I’ll take care of it.” He said, the tone in his voice making it clear he doesn’t want to discuss this any further.
Before you can question him more, he gets out of the car and comes around to open your door, helping you out and closing it behind you as you both walk into the house and upstairs to his room.
He takes off his hoodie and shirt, and turns on the shower, letting the water run so it can warm up.
“Chris… If I don’t go with you, who’s going to?” You ask, the gears turning in your head.
He shakes his head, looking at you with an unreadable expression. “No one.”
You furrow your brows in confusion, still not grasping the big picture here. “You can’t go by yourself. That would be too dangerous.” You speak.
“Y/N, please stop. We’re not talking about this anymore, okay? I’ve told you enough already.” He replies shortly, taking off his jewelry and setting it on the bedside table.
“Just answer me one thing.” You continue, determined to get the full story. “What happens if you go against what Jason says and do the job by yourself?”
Chris doesn’t respond. He doesn’t even look at you. You know that you probably pissed him off now by pressing him for answers, but you didn’t care. You deserved to know the full situation. If he was in danger, you needed to know.
A few minutes go by, steam starting to fill the room from the shower. He simply sits at the edge of the bed with his back to you, running a hand through his hair.
“Chris. What are you not telling me?” You say, your voice slightly rising and there’s a hint of desperation as the pit in your stomach grows. There was something completely off here.
“Fuck.” You hear him silently curse before he finally tells you. “If I don’t make you do the job with me, I’m dead. It’s his sick fucking way of showing his power over me. He knows that I won’t put you in danger. So, he’s using my life as leverage.” His head is now turned slightly towards you, staring at the spot on the bed next to you. He’s afraid to look you in the eyes.
You’re speechless as he gets up and goes into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
Tears fill your eyes, and you feel sick to your stomach. It seems you’re now faced with an impossible choice.
Either risk your life and freedom to commit armed robbery or have Chris murdered by his sadistic gang boss.
When Chris finally comes out of the bathroom, you’ve created a lake of tears on your pillow from crying so hard. You’re extremely upset with him for dropping that bomb on you and just leaving you there in shock. But honestly, you probably would’ve just argued with him till your lungs gave out and maybe it was a good thing he left you alone to process.
You know Chris too well to know that he’s made his mind up about the deal Jason has given him. He’s going to give up his life just so you don’t have to risk yours. But you’ve just as equally made up your mind as well. There’s no fucking way you’re letting Chris go by himself on that job.
“Baby… I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.” He says, getting in bed next to you. You’re faced away from him and he lays close to you, snaking his arm around your waist and pressing kisses to your shoulder. “I know thisis fucking crazy, okay? But I couldn’t keep it from you. Don’t worry, okay? Everything’s going to be- “You cut him off, turning around abruptly to look at him.
“I’m going on that job with you. There’s no way in hell I’m letting you go alone.” You interrupt. His face is soft, obviously not taking you seriously and he brushes your hair back, letting his hand trail down to rest on your shoulder.
“Just get some rest, Y/N. We’ll talk about it tomorrow.” he replies.
“No Chris, I’m serious. You’ve taught me how to take care of myself, right? And we have until next week, we can plan- “You start but he shakes his head, placing his hand back on your jaw, his thumb softly rubbing across your lips, stopping you from continuing.
“No. I don’t want you getting into this. This is not up for debate. This is dangerous now.” He says sternly.
You grab his hand from your face, a little roughly, now placing a hand on his neck, looking deeply in his eyes. “Do you really think I give a fuck about how dangerous this is? Chris, I’ve been by your side through a lot of shit. If we can just get through this job and do what Jason says, we’ll be fine. No one is dying, okay? I love you and you’re going to let me help you. And that’s the end of the discussion.” You tell him, a flicker of emotions crossing his face as you speak.
He doesn’t say anything. He simply wraps his arms around you, pulling him into you and you lay your head on his chest while you both drift off to sleep.
✰
It takes a few days for Chris to accept the fact you’ll be going on the job with him. He’s a little distant from you at first, angry with you for what you’ve decided but mostly just afraid of what will happen. Since he’s met you, he’s wanted nothing more than to keep you safe. He knows his lifestyle is not good for you, not good for anyone. And now that it’s come to this point of putting you directly in the line of danger, he’s scared shitless. And he wants to kill Jason for putting both of you in this position.
But he goes over the plan with you, making sure you know every step.
Tommy will drop off both of you across the street from the store, and once you get inside, you’ll only have 30 minutes to get in and out. You’ll hold the cashier at gunpoint while Chris goes in the back office where the drugs and money is supposed to be stashed.
There will probably be another guy back there, but he’ll take care of him. As soon as Chris is done, a couple of Jason’s men will come in and finish the job, taking the rivals to him, and you both can leave with Tommy. The gas station is only a few miles from the Disciples’ warehouse, so once you get there you can drop off the goodies and be done.
Easy, right?
Chris goes over the steps again at least a dozen times on the day before the job. You start to get irritated, and he notices, giving you a hard look as your eyes glaze over when he’s talking. “Y/N. Pay attention, please.” He says, as he unloads the bullets from his .45, taking it apart to clean it.
You roll your eyes and rest your chin in your hands from where you sit on the bed. “Chris, I know the plan already. Can we talk about something else now?” You whine, watching him as he puts the gun back together.
He smirks at the tone in your voice. “Just making sure, baby.” he replies.
You can’t help but stare at him as he puts the parts of the gun back together, his arms flexing with his movements, veins in his hands popping out. A pair of black sweatpants hangs lowly on his hips, his shirt is off, and his hair is messy from the nap you took together earlier.
Also, the little pink pill you popped with Chris about 20 minutes ago is starting to take effect as you feel a slight floating sensation in your body, your heart rate picking up just a little. The air around you becomes intensified and Chris looks over at you, noticing your longing stare.
“You good?” He asks, eyes travelling down your body to your bare legs hanging off the edge of his bed. The only thing you have on is an old t-shirt of his and your black panties.
“Mhm.” You nod, staring at the gun in his hands.
There was just something so hot about him holding it like that.
He walks over, now standing in front of you, and places a finger under your jaw, tilting your head up to look at him. Your eyes are glossy and low, and he sinks his teeth into his bottom lip, admiring how pretty you look like this.
“You high baby?” He says lowly, and you reply with a nod of your head as he holds one side of your face in his hand, bringing the gun up to lightly stroke over the other side.
This causes a chill to run down your spine, wetness immediately pooling in your underwear. You’re not scared. You trust Chris completely, even if it was loaded.
He then lets it trail down further slowly, over your neck and between your breasts, dipping down your stomach to in between your thighs where he teasingly rubs it over your panties, bumping against your clit.
You sigh into his hand that’s gripping your jaw and his thumb slips into your mouth. You swirl your tongue around him, looking up into his eyes. His pupils are blown out, watching you get pleasure from his weapon between your legs.
You know its crazy but the sexual energy behind it turns you on more than anything.
He removes it suddenly, placing it on the bed and before you can whine in protest, he climbs on the mattress behind you, instructing you to scoot back so he rests against the pillows, and you sit in between his legs. There’s a large mirror in front of the bed and you lean back against his chest and watch while he trails his hands down your arms, and then your hips, resting on top of your thighs and squeezing.
Your head falls back as he places his lips on your neck, kissing softly and sucking at the skin there, leaving his mark on you. He massages your inner thighs, thumbs brushing close to where you need him the most.
“Don’t tease me.” You breathe, gripping his knee, one hand going up behind you to tug on his hair.
“What do you need, baby?” He mumbles into your neck, his hand now pressing over your underwear, palming your heat. You buck your hips slightly, pulling harder on his hair. He grunts into you, his other hand squeezing your waist. You feel his hardness growing, pressing into your ass.
“I need you. Please.” You whimper, your head resting against his shoulder. He gives into you, loving the way you beg for him, and dips his fingers into your underwear, slicking through your folds, arousal coating his fingers.
“So wet for me…” He rasps, rubbing your clit in slow, agonizing circles, making you melt into him. You moan out loud, sinking your teeth into his neck as he pushes your panties to the side now, and moves his fingers down to your entrance, pushing one in all the way to the knuckle and then pulling it all the way out, once again going back up to massage your clit.
He’s torturing you and you’re a mess beneath him, leaking out onto the sheets, squirming from the pleasure and he holds you down firmly. “Chris, please.” You beg, unsure what you’re trying to say as he has you in a state of bliss.
“Be a good girl for me.” He responds firmly, watching you in the mirror as he thrusts two fingers back inside you, stretching you out, wetness coating his hand. He moves at a faster pace now, curling as he pushes them deeper. He holds you tight, your head thrown back in ecstasy, puffing hot breaths against his neck, sweet moans filling his ear.
“Fuck, Chris, just like that.” You whine, feeling a familiar warmth in your abdomen build. He doesn’t stop, his thumb now circling your clit, his fingers hitting your g spot with each thrust.
“Look at me baby.” He demands and you lift your head up, making eye contact with him in the mirror, watching as he fucks you with his hand, your legs spread open for him.
“I’m so close.” You moan, the sparks of pleasure he’s created spreading within you. You move your hips with each thrust of his fingers into you, Chris moaning with you as your ass repeatedly grinds back against him.
“Already, mama?” He teases, unable to hide the smugness from the fact he’s always able to make you finish quickly.
“Chris.” Is all you can manage as his fingers continue to slip in and out of you, pushing you to the edge.
“I know, baby, you’ve been so good for me. You can cum baby, cum on my fingers.” He praises, and his arm is around you, holding you as your body shakes, basically riding his hand at this point. Seconds later, you release the tension that’s been building, crying out loudly as warmth floods your body, thighs clenching and your juices releasing onto the sheets beneath you.
You’re extremely tired now, your body relaxing against him as he slowly moves from under you, getting up from the bed to grab a towel to clean you up.
He does so, rubbing your legs gently, brushing your hair back from your face as you lay against the pillows. He presses a kiss to your forehead, laying down next to you.
“Get some rest, baby.” he says quietly, cuddling close to you as your eyes grow heavy. “But Chris, don’t you want- “you start, knowing he needs to be attended to as well.
He shakes his head softly. “Not now, mama. Too stressed over tomorrow. Let’s just go to sleep.” He answers, and you sigh, wrapping your arms around him and falling asleep.
✰
It’s a dark, cold night in the city, no heat in the van as you sit in the back with Chris, pulling your hood up onto your head. You’re parked in the alleyway across from the gas station, hidden from anyone who might be out on the streets.
You bounce your leg in nervousness, feeling the hard metal of the gun in your hoodie pocket. He places a hand on your thigh, trying to calm you down. “You can still back out of this you know.” He says and you lace your fingers through his, shaking your head. “I’m fine. You’re not going in there alone. I’m just a little nervous.” You respond.
Tommy sits in the driver’s seat, smoking a cigarette and passes it to you. You take a drag, trying to calm your nerves down.
“It’s okay, Y/N. 30 minutes, in and out, and we’ll be good, okay? Just remember the plan.” Chris reassures you, giving you a kiss before he pulls his ski mask on. He has a black long sleeve on and black pants, his gun tucked in his waistband.
You tie your bandana on, only your eyes visible, your hair tied back under your hoodie. “Come on.” He says, sliding the door open and helping you out. “Pull up when you see us come out.” He tells Tommy, who nods as Chris shuts the door.
He turns to you, his eyes soft and places his hands on your shoulders. “Last chance, baby. Are you sure you wanna do this?” He asks.
“Yes, I’m not bailing on you now. Please, let’s get this over with.” You say and he pulls you in, hugging you tightly before you both cross the street quickly.
It’s 1 am, the streetlights glow on the pavement, the open sign of the gas station blinking.
He gives you one last look before he pulls open the door, both of you raising your guns at the man standing at the register.
There’s a pure look of shock and terror on his face as he raises his hands in the air. Your eyes scan the store, grateful to see nobody else inside. “Don’t make one fucking move!!” Chris screams at him as he moves toward the back door behind the counter.
You stand in front, keeping your gun aimed at his head. The man’s eyes flicker between you and Chris, his hands shake slightly. You feel bad for him but then remember how Chris told you he’s involved in one of their rival gangs and probably has done worse than you.
Chris kicks open the back door, and you watch as he disappears into the room, hearing him shout at one of the men that must be in there. You can’t make out what he says though and focus back on the clerk. You keep your expression blank as he stares at you, his arms still raised.
“Did Michael set me up?” He says and he flinches as you move your gun closer to him.
“Shut the fuck up.” You say, refusing to engage in conversation with him. You assume he must be referring to his boss, and he’s unaware that his operation has actually been busted by the Disciples.
As if he can read your mind, he speaks up again. “I just started this job. Michael hired me to run the register here, I had no idea what was going on in the back. I thought he only owned this place, I didn’t know who he really was.”
You furrow your brows in confusion at his words. Was he saying that he didn’t know his boss was actually a gang leader? You now realize he looks very young, like he could still be in high school.
You shake your head, your gun never wavering from your aim at him. “Stop fucking talking!!” You yell. For all you know, he could just be making this up, trying to mess with your head.
What was taking so long?
Chris was still in the back, and you couldn’t hear anything.
“Please, you gotta listen to me-“The clerk starts again but he’s interrupted by a gun shot popping off in the back, making you flinch and your heart instantly drop.
You panic and Chris suddenly runs out, large duffle bag on his shoulder, while you hear the man in the back scream, “Shoot him!” He sounds in pain and you get a glance of him on the floor, his leg bleeding and it’s obvious now that the gunshot was from Chris.
Before either of you can react, the clerk pulls a gun out from under the counter, aiming it at Chris.
It all happened in the blink of an eye.
Bam!
The sound of the gunshot rang out, making you lose your ability to hear for the next few seconds as you watched Chris go down, clutching his stomach in pain. Blood started to spill out on his hands, staining his shirt a crimson color. The gas station clerk was as shocked as you were, standing there frozen, gun still pointed.
You don’t know how or why, but you just knew you both wouldn’t get out alive from this if you didn’t do something.
So, you shot back, aiming for his shoulder. It hit him right where you intended as he doubled over immediately, screaming in pain.
You grab Chris who was still on the floor, helping him stand up. “Baby, come on. Please, we have to go now.” You plead. He grabs onto you, able to stand as you lead him out of the store.
He’s moving as fast as he possibly can, one arm around your shoulder, his other hand covering his wound. You see the van pull up on the other side of the street, your heart beating out of your chest.
You’re trying not to panic, looking up and down the street for any signs of police. There was hardly anyone out. Chris almost falls, shouting out in pain. “Fuck!” He yells and you stop him from falling.
You can barely hold him up, but you use all your strength to make it the last few steps to the van.
“I know baby, I’m so sorry. We’re almost there, Chris, just a few more feet. You can do it.” You say, and he’s shaking, still gripping onto you for dear life. You finally make it to the van, the door sliding open, Tommy helping you both in before he quickly shuts it and then hops back into the driver seat, taking off down the street.
“Holy shit, what the fuck happened in there?!” he says, looking at both of you with wide eyes.
“Shut the fuck up. I need to stop him from bleeding out. I’ll tell you later.” You snap, taking off your hoodie and wrapping it around Chris’s torso. You apply pressure, glancing at him.
He’s pale, breathing rapidly and panic in his eyes as he looks at you. You grab his face with your other hand, brushing his hair back. “It’s okay baby. Don’t worry. We’ll get back to the house soon and get you bandaged up, okay?” You reassure him, trying to keep yourself from crying.
He nods his head, grabbing your hand tightly as he winces in pain.
What the fuck did you just get yourself into? The many times you and Chris had gone over the plan, and it still didn’t go accordingly. Now Chris was wounded and the drugs and money you were supposed to retrieve still at the store. You’re not sure how you both are going to get out of this.
You tell Tommy to drop you guys off at Chris’s house instead of the warehouse. Once you get there, he helps you take Chris inside and you tell him to lay low for now, until Chris gives him the next order. He leaves, and you silently pray Jason doesn’t get to him before you guys decide what to do, or worse, get to Chris.
He’s lying on his back on the bed, and you put a pillow under his head, trying to make him comfortable. He winces in pain as you take your hoodie off from around his waist, his hands gripping the sheets harshly. You pull his shirt up. The bleeding is very little now but it’s all over his shirt and stomach, as well as your hands and you get clean, damp towels and bandages for him.
Luckily the bullet only grazed him, you notice as you clean him up, not seeing a deep wound.
You’re almost done putting the gauze and bandage on, making sure it’s tight as he looks at you, and grabs your arm, stroking it softly.
“Are you okay? I’m sorry mama.” He says weakly and you give him a soft smile. “Don’t be sorry. Just be glad we both got out alive. Are you okay?” You say and he nods. You help him pull his shirt off, his wound now clean and bandaged. You give him some water and a left-over Vicodin he had in his stash, hoping that will help with his pain.
You sit next to him on the bed now, running your hands across his chest and shoulders, his eyes closed at the feeling of your soft hands.
“Chris… what do we do now?” You ask, knowing you can’t avoid the inevitable.
He looks at you, his hand resting on your knee. “I never told you this, but I have an older brother who lives in Vermont. I’ve been thinking about going there for a while now… starting over with you.” He responds. “Would you go with me?”
“Baby… I would go anywhere with you.” You say and lean down to press your lips to his.
You kiss him softly, careful not to hurt him. You start to pull away, but he holds your face there, deepening the kiss, his tongue slipping into your mouth. He moans at the contact, making you throb in your core, but you pull away, not wanting it to go any further.
“Chris. We can’t, you’re hurt right now.” You say but he shakes his head, pulling you back to him.
“I don’t care, I need you Y/N.” He replies and kisses you again. You give in, allowing him to mesh his tongue with yours again. You suck his bottom lip, nipping it lightly with your teeth and trail your hand down his chest, making sure to avoid the spot where his wound is, feeling his stomach tense under you.
He groans into your mouth as you palm over his crotch, already rock hard and straining through his jeans. “Fuck, mama. Don’t tease me.” He breathes, as you rub your hand back and forth over him, feeling yourself grow wet at the sound of his voice.
If it was any other instance, you would drag it on and make him beg for it like he does with you, but you didn’t want to do that to him right now.
“Don’t worry baby, I’m gonna take care of you.” You say softly, unbuttoning his jeans as he lifts his hips, sliding them down his legs and removing his boxers.
His long, thick cock lays against his stomach and you grab it pressing a kiss to the tip and then letting a pool of saliva drip down him, coating him before you take him all the way down your throat, your nose brushing his pelvis. “Fuuuck…” He moans out, his hands holding your hair back from your face, pulling it into a ponytail.
You gag slightly, but quickly adjust to his size, bobbing your head up and down him. Your hands rest on his thighs, and you hum around him as he pulls a little on your hair, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip from the feeling of you taking all of him in your throat.
“Yes, baby, feels so good. You look so pretty with my dick in your mouth.” He groans, making you moan again and he’s gently bucking his hips up, already feeling himself close.
You continue for a few good minutes, pausing only to catch your breath, your hand jerking him up and down before he pulls you up, helping you remove your clothes as he gives you a needy look.
“Come here, please. I wanna cum inside you so bad.” He says and you waste no time, sinking down onto him, the pleasure making you both cry out. You lay on top of him, your hands in his hair and kiss his neck, starting to grind yourself down on him.
“Is this okay baby? You’re not hurting?” You check, making sure not to put too much pressure on his lower stomach.
“Fuck no. Don’t stop.” He replies, grabbing your hips and helping you ride him.
He’s moaning in your ear, and you continue sucking and kissing his neck, leaving hickeys on his skin. You clench around him, your hips rolling, the feeling of his tip kissing your g spot making you soak all over him.
It’s only a few minutes before you’re both panting and sweating, the sounds of your wetness and skin against skin filling the room, driving you both to the highest point of ecstasy.
“Shit- feels so fucking good mama. I wanna fill you up.” Chris says, his fingertips digging into you as he squeezes your waist, feeling his release building.
You moan his name, your head falling to his shoulder, fingers knotting in his hair as you continue to bounce on him. “Cum inside me baby, please.” You whimper, and you feel his hips stutter, rhythm becoming sloppy as he starts to release into you. Your orgasm hits as well and he moans loudly as you feel his cum paint your walls, your legs shaking.
You stay there for a little, Chris holding you as you both catch your breath before climbing off him.
You check his bandage, making sure it’s still on good and then grab one of Chris’s shirts throwing it on while he puts a clean pair of boxers on.
The early morning light is now shining through the bedroom window, and you both kiss lazily, exhausted from the events of the night. He holds you close and you try not to think of what will happen next, focusing on the feeling of his hands in your hair, gently massaging your scalp, while he whispers “I love you.”
a/n: omgggg this was a crazy, long one but i really hope you guys enjoyed it!!!! im almost at 100 followers thank you guys so much. pls leave me more messages i wanna know your thoughts!!🩷
matt series next? 👀
taglist <3
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#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo smut#sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo oneshot#robbers
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i'm yours
pairing: non idol! heeseung x reader
synopsis: your boyfriend gets jealous and wants kisses
theme: fluff, established relationship au
warnings: kissing, making out, very suggestive, swearing, pet names (baby, princess)
word count: 976 words
note: reader wears a skirt here, hee is reader's boyfriend and vice versa, there's lots of kissing so beware, although it's not really mentioned heeseung is a basketball player, it's kinda cringe but deal with it, it probably has spelling and grammar errors so apologies beforehand, that's it and happy reading, feel free to share your thoughts and leave criticism if needed :)) thank you.
As you face Heeseung in his car, the tension and silence that had been hanging around is finally broken by the words that come from your mouth. "Seungie, I already apologized can you stop being upset now?", you exclaim to your boyfriend, watching as he shuffles around in the driver's seat before scoffing, "I'm not upset that he gave you flowers and confessed his love to you, I just don't get how fucking hard it was for you to tell him you had a boyfriend and weren't interested."
He sulks, his possessiveness and jealousy clear in his voice; it makes sense that he would be, having just watched someone confess to you while you were waiting for him at his game.
"I already told you, he didn't let me speak and by the time I was gonna tell him, you'd already come over", you retort, you weren't lying when you said he didn't give you the chance to speak. Heeseung just made the task of doing so easier by seeing you and coming to you.
He opens his mouth to respond, but his heart melts when he turns to face you and notices that your hands are fumbling in your lap and your head hanging a little. He can tell by your features and how uncomfortable you looked that you were clearly rejecting that guy and doing everything in your power to get away from him, which is why the little pout on your face makes him feel even worse.
Yet being the jealous boyfriend he was, he'd let it get the better of him. With a sigh he turns over to face you, cupping your face in his hands. "Baby, look at me please", he says noticing how you were avoiding his gaze. He waits as your attention finally shifts to him, and the faintly grim expression on your face breaks his heart.
"I'm sorry, you're clearly not at fault here, I let my emotions get the best of me and, I don't know what came over me", his voice trailed off softly as he finished, sincerity evident in his words. "It's alright seungie, i know you didn't mean it, besides you look cute when you're jealous." "Who said anything about being jealous, princess?", he asks, chuckling softly before you respond with a playful glint in your eyes. "Oh really, so you weren't jealous when he told me how he could treat me better than you if he were with me?", you remark coyly.
His eyes go somewhat dark, and then you see a tiny but noticeable pout form on his lips as he takes off his hands and turns his head away. You blurt out, "Hee, I'm just kidding, come on, I'm sorry", in a state of panic.
He remains stern as he continues not looking at you, before you hear him say something, "Kiss me", he asserts his voice low yet soft in tone. He turns towards you and watches as you hastily caress his cheek with your hand before pressing your lips to his and pulling away.
"There, done", you utter, removing your hand from his face. He grasps your wrist in an instant and remarks, "Do it again; that wasn't a kiss." As you prepare to lean in once again, he interrupts you by nodding his head in the direction of his lap. He mutters a small 'come here' along with it.
You feel your face slightly heat up before you look away, "n-no what, I'm not sitting there." He doesn't give you an option as his hand comes down to your waist and he shifts you over to sit on his lap in the driver's seat, you squeal surprised by his strength and sudden action.
With your legs sprawled across on either side of his thighs and your back facing the steering wheel, the ends of your skirt hike up, revealing your thighs to his gaze. He observes how you avoid his eyes and turn your head away from him, your earlier playful attitude giving way to shyness.
"So fucking cute", he mutters before slamming his lips on yours, one of his hands rests at your waist while the other roams around your body, squeezing your sides before placing it on your slightly exposed thigh. You place your hands behind his neck playing with his hair and kissing him back.
He pulls your body in closer to his, as though he's attempting to fill whatever distance left between you even in this cramped area. He's addicted to the taste of your lips and it's an addiction he never wants to get rid of.
His tongue grazes over your bottom lip before biting down on it, making you gasp into his mouth. He relishes in the sound you made and slides the wet muscle inside, moving his tongue with yours in harmony.
You part your lips more to allow him greater access, which he evidently finds pleasing based on his low groan before squeezing your thigh. After a few seconds, you pull your lips away from his to regain your breath, watching as he follows after your lips, leaving a tiny string of saliva connecting your mouth to his.
He kisses you quickly on the lips, then again on the corner of your lips. As he kisses every part of your face, the ticklish sensation causes you to giggle softly.
His face is resting in the area between your neck and shoulder, and his warm breath touches your skin. He kisses you there, pressing his lips onto the the curve of your neck. "You're mine", he whispers, using his hands on your back, he draws your body in closer to him.
As you sit there and run your fingers through his hair while he kisses you, time appears to stand still. For you at that moment, nothing else mattered except for him.
#enhypen x reader#enhypen fluff#heeseung x reader#heeseung x you#lee heeseung x reader#enhypen fic#lee heesung x reader#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen angst
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Dabi Relationship HC
Starting this blog off strong with the loml
for a while he'd be an AWFUL bf lmao
like he's not really sure how u ended up 'together', he just isn't gonna fight it
however, he is possessive of you. he does know that much. he doesn't know if he'd call it love, or lust, but he wants you to himself
the start of ur relationship (meeting him wise) would be a lot of little convos, smoking (or u sitting there while he smokes if u don't), and not much else
but u 2 start hanging out more and more, he realizes u don't care he's a villain so he tells you more about his life occasionally, and he doesn't really have anyone outside of the league so u become his escape kinda
some point down the line you guys end up fucking, definitely unplanned but there was also slight sexual tension every once and a while, so not unexpected
so for a while you're just fuck buddies, and neither of u really do much else except slowly starting to know more about each other
you start realizing that you do infact like him for more than just a friend, and u realize that at some point he started treating you a little more softly
he had no intention of doing it really, it just happened due to him not usually getting this close with someone and he can actually open up to you a little, so he naturally starts treating u a little (just a little) better
especially since ur the only person he's continuously fucked, he's not a virgin, but he's definitely not been with many people, but the ones he has been with he usually fucks then dips to never be seen again
he didn't really even enjoy sex that much before u, he kinda just wanted to feel grown up once he hit his late teens so he started seeking it out. plus he thought maybe it'd help him feel better for a bit, but no
anyways, at some point, ur relationship went from hanging out and fucking every once In a while, to being by each other during any free time either of u had
there'd be more innocent touching too, just hand holding while walking through the city, or loosely cuddling while scrolling on ur phones. it got to a point where someone called him your boyfriend, and you didn't object to it, and neither did he, so you both kinda just assumed that u guys were in an actual relationship
but again, he'd suck at it. realizing you 2 are basically dating, you'd prolly want to start doing a bit more relationshipy stuff, and he'd object 99% of the time.
dates? scrolling through tiktok and eating take out
affection? a slap on the ass, or a whack to the back of your head. the soft stuff he only does without realizing and you usually initiate it (hand holding, cuddling)
he will also continue to do whatever he wants. he isn't interested in other people, so he wouldn't cheat, but that isn't really a moral boundary as much as it is he can't be bothered
anything you ask of him will be met with "why are you being so annoying" "leave me alone" "what gives you the right to change who I am" things like that
you'd probably 'break up' a few times, saying you never wanna see him again or him telling you to fuck off then leaving only to be back to normal within the week
he'd probably use you in various ways too. if you have money, it's his now too. he *needs* cigs, or he *needs* weed, or any other thing he's interested in at the moment.
he didn't start to change until these 2 things happened though.
1 - you fr left. you put up with him for months, and you were fine with how he acted when it didn't feel serious, but now it feels too serious to be treated this way, and he refuses to change. so you're actually done this time.
you disappear, you block his number and any social media he has. you stay away from ur apartment as much as possible so he can't catch you there. you move on with your life.
he doesn't think he cares at first, at all. as you leave after yelling at him about how over everything you are, he literally rolls his eyes and talks to himself about how dumb and dramatic you are. and he keeps living his life.
then 2 weeks go by, again your fights are usually done with within a week, so it's unusual for you to take this long to come back. so he texts you - blocked. he texts you on something else - blocked. he doesn't understand why this is pissing him off so much.
he goes to your house, banging on the door, but no answer. he stays around the area for a few hours but you don't come back, so he finds something to write a little note on your door to tell u to stop being stupid and leaves.
another week goes by and still nothing. now he's actively looking for you. he's going insane. all of his emotions feel bottled up and he doesn't know whether to be mad, cry, or be happy that he doesn't have to worry about you anymore. he's just anxious and all he knows is that at least seeing you will solve is problems
it's been over a month now, and he's distraught. he's mad at you, but he misses you. he sits there overthinking everything he said to you and even though he doesn't really want to put in the effort to change, he does know he treated you badly. he didn't know how he viewed your relationship but you took it serious, so he should have at least tried to. no one else is willing to put so much effort into him, and he fucked it up
he does still have his league assignments though, and this one assignment sends him a bit further away. he decides to fuck around with people, and he's 'chasing' some loser into an alley way with his hand lit up in flames, kinda snickering at how pathetic this person looks terrified out of their mind.
but suddenly, as the rando turns a corner, someone comes out of it, and both you and dabi are surprised to see each other.
you had run off to stay with a friend in this city, and were trying to go to the store while staying off the main streets (being close to dabi for months kinda had an affect on your reputation, so heroes tended to at least stop you to talk if nothing worse)
after a good few seconds of awkward staring, you turned around and booked it. all your hard work was going down the drain and u panicked and ran.
and that was the 2nd thing. you ran from him. he fucked up so badly that you took 1 look at him and ran. he didn't even realize that you noticed the way his eyes got all watery from seeing you, he looked like a kicked puppy.
he was genuinely just sad. still very angry, but sad. he couldn't even bring himself to chase after you, so he just made his way home.
you had been somewhat missing him this whole time, but you didn't regret what you did until you saw his face. it didn't change anything he did, and it didn't mean he loved you or anything, but now you really missed him.
so, you went back to your apartment, but after being gone for a month ur utilities weren't on, and you couldn't be bothered to fix all that yet, so you decided to go back to dabis.
you didn't even knock once you got there, you just let yourself in, having been given a spare key a while ago, but he wasn't there.
so to pass the time, you waited in his bed, and ended up falling asleep. a few hours later, you woke up to the feeling of someone laying behind you, with their arms lazily placed over your side, and you recognized dabis scent so you just went back to sleep
this whole ordeal wasn't really brought up by either of you. dabi thought about all the things you've ever asked him to fix, although he wasn't always actually listening so he didn't remember everything, and he slowly started trying
it did take a while for things to get better, but slowly but surely they did. he'd still throw fits and bitch about things you ask of him, and he'd probably have things he needs you to change too, but you guys would work it out
now, back to just pure headcanons, for when the relationship is good
one second he's overly rough with you then the next he's overly soft. this can be taken either sexually or innocently. he likes to bully you and mess with you in ways that most people would probably think is genuinely mean, but he's not trying to actually hurt you
if he did hurt you on accident he might call u a baby at first but then he'd apologize and like rub his fingers over where u got hurt
he tries to act sneaky with his affection, he wants you to more so be like "when did this happen?" "when did we start cuddling?" that way you 'don't realize' he initiated it. even though obviously you will
kisses are surprisingly gentle. he doesn't really like biting at your lips or shoving his tongue down your throat, they're a lot more gentle and intimate than you'd think
he doesn't kiss you often though, at least not full blown kisses because they hurt his lip, but you'll get pecks here and there. the bottom lip doesn't have too many nerve endings left, but sometimes kisses pull at the staples in his cheeks and that does hurt
showers are hard for him too. he's stinky. again, most of his burnt areas don't feel too much pain, some none at all, but it's kind of just a general uncomfortableness. also, he swears he can feel water seeping in between his flesh where he has his staples. so the only way he's gonna bathe is if you help him (at first, eventually he gets the motivation to do it himself) and he more so prefers sitting in a full tub while he gets scrubbed down and all that, he hates showers
he would set anyone who flirts with you on fire. 0 hesitation. he is possessive, and as your relationship gets healthier he gets more possessive.
he's a nerd, especially when it comes to space. so a serious date he would take you on is stargazing, and he'd describe any constellation or other cool thing he can find to you
he's pretty good at drawing, he'd definitely want tattoos if he was able to get them, but he says that there's no point considering the state of his skin. so, he designs some for you, whether you get them done is up to you. he'd also love if you got him a tattoo gun to do it for you
I love you isn't said until far into the relationship. it gets to a point where it's known between both of you, but neither of you say it. you want to, but you're worried it'll upset him, and he's scared to. in his mind, despite everything you've been through and how much he clearly cares about you, if he doesn't say it, it's not true. which means if you do leave, he can pretend he doesn't care
but he does say it eventually, when you're sleeping and he thinks you're fully asleep. however, you're not, and hearing him say that immediately woke you up and you startled him as your eyes shot open and you looked at him smiling huge
he dead ass tried to run but you grabbed him and told him you love him too, and he basically went yeah whatever :/ and left but it was to hide from embarrassment
dabi, no matter how much he tries to work on his relationship with you, has tons of issues. he's angry, he's anxious and depressed. sometimes something is gonna happen and he might take it out on you, and at first he won't acknowledge it. eventually he will though, and apologizes when he's calmed down some
also, he does want to stay with you, but that doesn't stop him from wanting to achieve his revenge on his family. the only thing that's changed is that he is more determined to make it out alive. he even considers faking his death afterwards, or letting people think he died getting his revenge, that way he doesn't have to deal with all the villain bs anymore
#dabi#touya todoroki#dabi imagine#dabi headcanons#dabi scenario#dabi x reader#bnha#mha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#league of villains
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Bringing Atsumu home (MSBY Atsumu x fem!reader)
CW: little bit suggestive, mild language (cmon it’s tsumu..)
He was already off to a bad start. He had made some offhand comment about fucking you in front of your parents. Your parents dragged you into the house and closed the door right in front of his face.
Your mother was first to speak, “I don’t like him. When you said you found yourself a boyfriend I didn’t think you’d bring home someone like that.” Before you can say anything your father steps in and speaks too, “he’s that volleyball player who’s always in some kind of scandal, right? He might cheat on you.”
Your mother starts up again, usually you would have sat through their lecture spacing out. Your parents are strict in a sense and they “just wanna do what’s best for you.”
Atsumu has taught you to be who you are and stand up for yourself. You interrupt your mom mid sentence. “Stop! Atsumu’s a good guy. Please just give him a chance. You guys seriously need to stop judging him when you’ve barely even met him.” Both your parents seem to be taken back by your statement.
You assume they get the message because your dad is opening the door for Atsumu and your mom is heading back to the kitchen.
“Come in ‘Tsumu. Sorry about that.” You say sheepishly. He smiles, “Don’t ya worry ‘bout it. ‘S my fault for making that comment.”
Upon hearing his accent your father gives you a disapproving look and you glare back at him. He raises his hands in surrender.
You hold out your hand for Atsumu and he takes it, pink coating the athlete’s cheeks. Atsumu is holding the wrapped up food that he did not make, he begged on his knees for Osamu to make some onigiri so he’ll be in good standing with your parents.
With the way he’s acting now, all of Osamu’s hard work might have been for nothing. He walks into your kitchen with you and asks, “where do you want this to go, ma?” Your mom turns around her eyes widening at how familiar Atsumu is being with her.
You pinch his side and he gives you a confused look. “Um. Go put it over there.” She points to the dining table and Atsumu goes to set the food on the table. Your mom turns back around but you can tell that she’s secretly approving of Atsumu, that smile on her face before she turned around was all you needed to see.
“Can I see yer room, beautiful?” You can see the excitement in his eyes. You nod, “sure, let’s go.” He follows behind you up the stairs. You turn the corner and your room is the first door.
“Don’t laugh, I have a lot of my old anime stuff still up.” He’s already holding a hand to his mouth trying not to chuckle at how cute you are.
You slowly open the door and oh goodness… all of your old posters and your manga wall is hanging up. He bursts into laughter and you smack him. “You promised!” You say slightly embarrassed and he’s holding his stomach, “no I didn’t, I never said anything.” He says between fits of laughter.
“It’s time to eat!” Your dad calls. Atsumu walks out your room. “It’s okay baby, ‘s nothing to be embarrassed ‘bout.”
You roll your eyes and end up following him down the stairs. Your parents are talking about something but their conversation comes to a halt when you two walk in.
“Mm mm what’s for dinner? Smells so good in here!” Atsumu exaggerated. Well.. maybe he’s not exaggerating, your boyfriend is a foodie just like his little brother.
“Well, I’ve cooked some family favorites.” Your blond boyfriend licks his lips. You two sit at the table along side your parents and thank your mom for the food.
Halfway into eating your mom breaks the silence, “so.. Atsumu, how did you two meet?” His eyes light up and his mouth is full of food when he starts to speak. “Sho like we met-” you pinch him and he gives you a look of confusion.
He then realizes that he needs to chew his food before talking. When done chewing he continues to feed your mom the information that she knew she was not gonna get from you, “So we met at one of my games. She was sittin’ with all her friends in one of the stadium’s front rows lookin’ all pretty. Soon as I saw her I was like ‘I have to get her attention.’ So I winked at her a few times, when I made an ace I’d look her way and damn was it affective cuz she was a whole smiley mess.”
You kick him, which in terms means for him to shut up but he’s determined to embarrass you in front of your parents.
“After the game I went lookin’ for her and all went well cuz one of her friends is dating my teammate which made finding her easy cuz she just followed them around. I asked yer pretty daughter out and she was a little bit of a mule. Didn’t wanna give in to my handsomely good looks, but I convinced her none the less. Everything after that is history.”
You clear your throat, “I don’t think you’re remembering it correctly, ‘Tsumu. You begged me to go out with you and I said yes out of pity.” It was a last resort for your pride but Atsumu’s version was 100% correct.
He snorted mainly because he knew you were trying to keep what little pride you had left. “Maybe ya need to refresh that brain of yers sweetheart, cuz I clearly remember you head over heels for me when I was askin’ ya out. Sure ya were a lil’ stubborn but ya fell for my tactics anyway.”
Your mom giggled, “she has an eye for handsome men. She gets it from me.”
Atsumu turned to you and smirked, “she sure does.”
After dinner atsumu was (in your opinion) sucking up to your mom and helped her wash the dishes.
She was talking to him about something and the two were laughing and having a good time. You didn’t want to admit it but you were slightly jealous of your mother.
Sure you saw Atsumu everyday but seeing him being so close to your mom in such a short time strikes something in you.
Seeing anymore would probably upset you which is why you retreated to the living room.
It wasn’t until another thirty minutes that Atsumu and your mother emerge into the living room. Your father sat in his recliner like the old man you always call him.
“Baby…” his voice trails. Your curious eyes look into his which are big brown and honest.
“Come ‘ere.” He says softly to you. What’s this pro athlete planning? The way he called for you didn’t sound devious but you notice your mother recording out of the corner of your eye which caused suspicion.
“So… it’s been like what? Three years since we started datin’..” he pauses and holds out his hand signaling he wants your hands in his.
You slide your hands into his and they are warm and inviting.
“And um… it’s been the best three years of my life. I’ma be honest.. all my past flings were ass.”
You were about to interrupt but he must have assumed this because he responds, “I know what yer thinking. Just let me explain.”
He takes a second to breathe in deeply and exhale slowly.
“So as I was sayin’… these past three years have been the best ever. 'n I wanna continue to enjoy life with ya, cry with ya, laugh with ya…” he starts to trail off and you get a little nervous.
“Jeez, why am I ramblin’. I wanted to ask ya to marry me.” He gets down on one knee and presents you the prettiest ring you’ve ever seen.
You freeze up and look into his eyes. The silence is so loud and your parents as well as atsumu wait for your response.
“This isn’t a joke is it?” You ask slightly concerned.
“No, god no! Sunarin dared me to do that on April fools, but I’m serious this time. I want ya to be my wife ‘n have my babies.” He says, his voice sounded confident but you could tell by the look on his face that he was nervous.
“Tsumu! You are embarrassing me. Why are we talking about babies right now in front of my parents?” You say flushed and Atsumu starts to pout.
“Just answer the question, I’m sweatin’ buckets over here…” The silence is once again loud.
You run over to him, knock him onto the ground and smuggle him with a hug. “Yes! Of course atsumu. Why did you think I’d say no?” You say all at the same time.
“I-I didn’t think you’d say no!” He stutters.
“You sure did, Atsumu Miya. You were shaking and your voice went all soft when asking me!” You argue. The two of you are about to get into it but your mother who you forgot was standing there interrupts.
“Sweetheart can you let atsumu put the ring on you? I want to get some pictures.” She says with a big smile. Your father nearly faints.
“Weren’t you the same one hating on my boy- fiancé when we got here?” You ask and she shrugs.
“I got to know him over cleaning up dinner, he’s a really sweet boy.” she explains.
You pick yourself up off of Atsumu. He stands up and you hold your hand out with a goofy smile.
He slides the ring onto your finger. He knows your ring size because he bought you a promise ring for your one year anniversary.
You and Atsumu stand where your mother puts you two and she takes various pictures.
“Amy will be so jealous that my beautiful daughter got a husband before her’s!” Your mom brags and you cackle.
“Mom you do know Uma and I are close friends, right?” She clicks her tongue and waves her hand.
“You and Uma might be friends and your fathers may be friends but Amy and I will always fight over who has the better child.” She says competitively.
“Ooo! I’m posting this on my social media.” She says with a smile.
“I’m sorry ma, but please don’t for right now. We haven’t even gone public with our datin’ yet.” Atsumu warns and your mother nods.
“Atsumu, I think I’m ready for us to go public.” A small smile reaches your lips.
“You sure, baby? Don’t pressure yerself to do it.” He says.
“I’m 100% sure, Tsumu.”
NEWS: MSBY SETTER, ATSUMU MIYA HAS A FIANCÉ?! Read this article to find out more!
Let’s just say a lot of people know about you guys now! ❤️
#atsumu x reader#msby atsumu#atsumu miya#miya atsumu#atsumu miya x reader#atsumu fluff#miya atsumu fluff#miya atsumu x reader#haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu#there’s a little surprise at the end#haikyuu fluff
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the experiment : college student! sana x fem! reader x miyeon
being a part of an experiment was not on your college bingo, let alone you didn't even give your consent for it. so, why not conduct your own?
part 1: lab rat/ test monkey
sana knows she fucked up.
seeing the bouquet with her name on the card with a very familiar handwriting. it made her feel sick, her face turned pale as she looked at the end of the hallway with your disappearing figure.
it had been a month since you ghosted sana and miyeon. your own best friend had to be a part of the whole experiment, completely aware of your heart being played just for it to be an experiment. ironic, how you were called lab rat one, as if you were already on her list of people she’ll play with.
blocking them on all socials had been the best decision you ever made. sure, sana and miyeon can’t message you or reach out to explain but what is there to say when you heard their entire conversation. biology majors taking the entire experiment on a different level.
everything you do has been a bit sloppy, sana was genuinely the first girl you really liked and it sucked that you’re left with the idea of being a lab rat. miyeon is the only one that has done her best to contact you, try to have a civil conversation but as someone who is avoidant, you keep running away.
“y/n, miyeon is outside waiting for you.” bangchan looked at you with concern as your eyes looked at the door. shit. shit. shit.
“tell her i’m busy.”
“too late, i let her in.” mingyu walked past you with miyeon behind him, you can’t run away. you’re in the middle of an experiment that needs your attention, almost done with it even but you won’t let miyeon know.
“can we talk?”
“what’s there to talk about miyeon.” from your peripheral vision, you could see the pain in her eyes, she even looked worse than you. bags under her eyes, lack of energy in her movement, slouched figure, fidgeting hands, and teary eyes. one wrong word from you could lead to her breaking down entirely, but she’s the one who knew of what sana was planning.
“why are you avoiding me?” maybe it was a bit harsh to avoid miyeon as well without her knowing. although miyeon was the one that introduced sana to you, and she knows about the experiment.
“choi miyeon, i’m in the middle of something right now.”
“what? are you gonna avoid me again like the plague? like i’m a disease that could kill you?”
“i’m in the middle of an experiment. not the one you and sana fucking planned.”
that was all the confirmation miyeon needed that you know. everything makes sense to her now, their conversation, sana avoiding her as well and making her way to talk to you at any given chance. she fucked up, she broke your trust, and she’s left with nothing as your figure walked away continuing your experiment.
after that, miyeon still waited for you to finish your experiment. walking out of the lab with your backpack and lab coat on hand. it was a bit harsh of you to not talk to the girl without her knowing what had happened, assuming right away that sana probably told her. so, you let miyeon follow you into your new favorite spot, away from the pair but still nearby, you have to thank mingyu for the recommendation.
miyeon had not spoken until you arrived at the cafe, letting her sit down at your usual spot and ordering for you two. she’s still your best friend and maybe this could be a way for you to settle things first before you decide whether to end your friendship. first and foremost, she’s your friend before anything else, it was just sudden that your high school best friend would pull something like that.
“why are you doing this?” miyeon looked at you as you placed your orders, it was a staple that miyeon wasn’t much into coffee as she was with hot chocolate.
“you’re my friend, how you defend yourself would determine if you still deserve that title.”
it started from there, miyeon had explained how sana was confused on whether she was interested in both girls and guys or if it was simply just nothing. you weren’t supposed to be a part of it, when miyeon introduced you to sana it was merely to let her college friends meet her best friend. she was also left in the dark until miyeon discovered sana’s notes about the entire thing, keeping track of your dates and comparing it with mark, the guy she’s seeing the same time when she was with you. that was how miyeon knew of it,
“i planned on telling you, i was trying to stop this entire thing before it would go longer. then you stopped talking to me, blocked me on all socials and even my number.”
everything felt clearer now, if sana wanted to play with fire, two can play that game. you’ve thought of it for a while now, you just needed to think of the perfect person to do it with. who else could fill the role as your fake girlfriend other than your best friend who is desperately asking for your forgiveness.
“then help me.”
in a span of a week, you and miyeon had slowly convinced your friends that you were dating. explaining that ghosting her was a way for you to move on and make her find someone who is deserving of her love. miyeon was persistent, she could not just let you go easily. that led to her trying to get your schedule, meeting you at your lab class and getting coffee to talk things through. people can be easily deceived and it wasn’t that long until miyeon actually acted as if you were dating.
in public, you acted like a couple; but in private, it's just you two messing with people and restoring your friendship. and it did not take long for miyeon to let you know that sana had been asking her questions about your relationship, fully understanding why you wanted to fake date.
“who said i couldn’t conduct my own experiment.” it wasn’t like you were avoiding sana like before, she had tried to talk to you but miyeon was always within the area to snatch you away.
that was until jackson had another party where miyeon had spent her time dancing with her friends, while you didn’t drink much as you had to drive miyeon back home. it slipped your mind that sana would be within the area, that she had kept her eyes on you as soon as you stepped foot holding miyeon’s hand.
within 5 minutes, sana had you wrapped around her finger. those 5 minutes, sana had managed to steal your heart once again, telling you that she had missed you, that you’re the only one for her. know you understand why she’s called sanake.
Minatozaki Sana. she has your heart, one that you wish you hadn’t fallen so easily for her charms. 5 minutes was all it took before you’re tempted to lean to her touch and forget that you’re playing a part in an experiment to see whether she missed you the same way you did. maybe it was nothing but lies. maybe she wanted to have fun just like before. you’re fucked.
“BABE!” then you’re reminded that miyeon is there to save the day. “oh, hi sana.”
the tension between the two was something you’ve never experienced before. fully aware they were friends before you had started seeing sana but after the series of events that leads to your current position. there’s a rift between the pair.
”babe, come dance with me, yeah?”
even in her drunken state, choi miyeon always stick to the script. pulling you to the dance floor, her dancing a bit too close to comfort but maybe it was a way to let sana know you’re not someone to be toyed with. no.
that wasn’t the case when you woke up in the morning, head pounding with the worst possible hangover you’ve experienced. it didn’t make sense to you, not a single ounce of liquor touched your lips when you were at the party, and you definitely remember bringing miyeon back to her place. your clothes scattered all over the floor except for your shirt, this was definitely miyeon’s place, you would notice the full body mirror with pictures taped to it. fuck.
the door opened revealing miyeon wearing what seems to be your shirt that was way too big for her. neck and chest basically covered in love bites. what the heck happened after i saw sana?
“hey, i cooked us some breakfast.”
“what happened last night?”
“uhm… you got drunk– when i asked you to drink here at my place.” miyeon pointed between the two of you. “then this happened.”
you only wanted to hurt sana, not bring miyeon into this mess. from the looks of it, you enjoyed it but you can’t remember much of it until miyeon tried to piece everything together.
the rest of the night after you had brought miyeon home was spent in the comforts of her apartment. a bottle of soju was shared along with a few glasses of gin and tonic that you ended up finishing as miyeon had reached her limit. miyeon started it. she kissed you first and although both in drunken state, it was clear that there was tension between the two of you, one that is now sitting in front of you wearing your shirt with love bites all over her body.
by the time you and miyeon had reached a conclusion as to the events of the night were, breakfast was already done, coffee at hand and still you were completely naked in her bed.
“do you think… we’ll work out?” uncertainty in your eyes as miyeon watched your every move, it felt as if she’s back at the chemistry laboratory while your mind is running through multiple scenarios.
“we– could try. but-”
“sana, i know. you might need to clarify some things with her.”
you didn’t expect miyeon to take things lightly when you suggested that she give you sana’s number. having it blocked and deleted, you saw no value but now- with the idea of properly dating miyeon, the need to clear the air for the sake that your best friend (possible future girlfriend) would fix their relationship.
sitting at the same cafe that sana had taken you to for your first date, the lingering idea that this might be the last time you’ll see her in the same light. the smell of coffee, light chattering from the customers and your mind buzzing with questions, running away seemed like a nice option.
“i’m surprised you wanted to see me.” you didn’t notice sana standing in front of you. pulling the chair and settling down as your gaze never left her piercing eyes. something about her changed, the cheering smile no longer there, or how her aura that was once inviting now felt guarded, and that the way she looks between your hands inches away from each other.
“wanted to clear some stuff.”
“... i’m sorry– i know you heard my conversation with miyeon.” you could only scoff at her, she knew, you made sure that she knew about that day from leaving the bouquet rotting by the biology lab along with your broken heart and trust. the girl you love merely sitting inches away from you and all you could do is look at her with so much hatred and confusion.
everything feels tight.
“i’m not here to come back. let’s give this a proper ending.”
“what do you mean?”
sana reaches for your hand, for a second you let her hold it- remember her touch.
removing it gently, as the tears in her eyes threaten to fall. you hated seeing her cry.
“you were a wonderful experience, sana. but i’m not one of your lab rats.”
“i’m sorry. you– you made me feel things i never felt before when i was wi– please don’t leave me… please, y/n… please.”
the desire to stay and throw everything out was there but you’d rather not let her break your heart again with the possibility of it being an experiment for her.
you love her but not to the point of willing to be a lab rat for her.
#twice sana#twice scenarios#twice#sana imagines#sana x reader#minatozaki sana#sana#miyeon#miyeon x reader#choi miyeon#gidle#angst
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I owe you a black eye and two kisses (part 15)
(Part one)
ao3 | playlist | pinboard
Reblogs/comments/follows are appreciated, I’m an attention whore
“Steve,” El called cheerfully from where she was perched on the arm of Max’s couch. Her hair was getting so much longer, now, tugged into two braids over her shoulders. Max had probably done that for her. “Hi.”
“Hey,” Steve muttered, not bothering to take off his shoes, seeing that Niel wasn’t home to yell at him about it. It was a kind of quiet fuck you to that asshole, breaking his rules when he wasn’t home.
“Max is in her room. Getting her things,” El explained, slipping off the couch and waiting in front of Steve, her expression expecting and patient. He ruffled her hair and she beamed, giggling and running off down the hall.
Steve leaned against the doorway, running a hand through his hair. He needed to talk about Eddie to someone, but not Max and El. They were kids—kind of—they wouldn’t know what the fuck he was talking about anyways. Max, maybe, but she and Lucas broke up so often that she probably had a very skewed view of what a relationship was like.
El came bounding back out, tugging Max by the wrist. Max had a glare plastered to her face, and El’s smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. Steve looked them over, shrinking into himself slightly. “Hey.”
Max didn’t answer, but El waved again and grabbed his hand. Slotting their fingers together and moving one of her many jingling bracelets over his knuckles to sit on his wrist. She didn’t let go of his hand, looking up at him and whispering. “Present.”
Steve felt himself melt slightly and he squeezed her hand. It was blue and purple, string weaves together with a little heart bead at the center. Or near the center. It wasn’t perfect, but he knew that Dustin had only taught her how to make bracelets like these a few days ago, so it was pretty good for one of her first tries.
“Thanks, Ellie,” he muttered, ruffling her hair again and being careful enough that it didn’t tug at the braids, but still reckless enough that it shook her head slightly in the way that made her laugh.
She smiled and looked down at their joined hands. “I made one for your friend.”
“They’re not friends, Ellbell,” Max cut in, rolling her eyes.
“Friends can kiss.”
“Says who?”
“Robin has kissed Steve,” El said firmly, and Steve choked on nothing, opening his mouth to defend himself before Max interrupted again.
“That was on the cheek, not on the lips,” She said, her voice softening when El frowned and reached out for her hand. Max took it. She had a red bracelet that matched one of the one’s El had on.
“Who—which friend did I kiss on the lips?” Steve stuttered out, his cheeks red as he gently tugged his hand away from El’s, trying to step away from her gaze which was boring into his skull, soft but still intimidating in her own way.
“Teddy,” She said.
“It’s Eddie,” Max whispered in her ear.
“Eddie,” El corrected, taking Steve’s hand back, her fingers tighter this time.
Steve’s breath caught and he roughly tugged his hand away from El’s, causing a small sound of disappointment to slip from her lips. It broke his heart further. He knew she didn’t like when he did that, but he would make it up to her later.
He couldn’t breathe. “I didn’t—I haven’t kissed Eddie—“
“I saw you guys at your house. In your driveway,” Max explained, rolling her eyes again, and Steve tried to stop from crying. He had told Eddie they shouldn’t have kissed outside because someone would see. And that someone had been one of his kids. They would hate him. They’d never want to talk to him again, they’d—
“I’m not mad or anything,” Max said, sounding concerned. “Are you, like…okay?”
“What were you doing at my house?” Steve said, eyes watering and voice desperate. Max’s voice sounded distant and El was all blurry.
“Skateboarding. Loch Nora’s better for it. Rich people have better roads.”
“I’m sorry, I—“ he tried to apologize, to say something, but he felt thin, warm fingers hesitantly wriggle between his own panicked hands and squeezed at them gently.
“Are you mad?” El whispered, and Steve wiped his eyes, forcing himself to suck in a deep breath. He hated that this was the first time the kids saw him cry. Over something stupid.
“M’not, mad, Ellie,” he whispered, sighing and squeezing her hand back.
“Could you take me to Eddie’s? So I can give him his bracelet?” She asked quietly, her cheeks a bit flushed as she looked down. “It is pink because I do not know his favorite color.”
Steve’s smile was stupidly fond. “Yeah. I can…I can take you guys over.”
“Why do I have to go, too? We had plans to go to the skate park,” Max whined, glaring at Steve again.
“It is because you need to keep me company,” El said softly, taking Max’s hand in her free one. Max’s face softened again. “I do not like going to new places without friends. And I love Steve but you are my best friend, so I would feel better if you went with me to Eddie’s house.”
Steve laughed quietly, fishing the keys out of his pocket. Eddie…would be fine if he brought the girls over, right? It wasn’t very ‘be good and take what you’re given’ of him, but maybe just this once Steve could do something he wanted.
This is like the fifth time I’ve tried to post this. I hate life.
taglist, which is open:
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#Finn writes#steddie#steddie fic#Steddie angst#steddie hurt/comfort#steve harrington#Steve Harrington fic#eddie munson#Eddie Munson fic#Wayne Munson#Wayne Munson fic#Max mayfield#max mayfield fic#El hopper#el hopper fic#My writing#my fic#st3
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August I will not make you persue ideas you don’t want to pursue further but I gotta admit Tattoo!artist Buggy is just. NNF. Personal basic bitch au right here. Guy who needles you (…. HAH!) about your shitty stick and poke you got from your even shittier ex boyfriend, but then makes you laugh when he asks you what he did and then openly mocks him in a nasally voice. The hot guy with long hair, a full- ,nautical themed, sleeve and a bunch of piercings. The flashy artist who will always try to put his own spin on his tattoos, lest someone walk out of his place with something unoriginal. The hardass, Mr. “Chop Chop” alluding to the many scars he’s acquired in his (even more) criminal youth, who makes a big deal of being able to take it all. “Fuck yeah it hurts” and “No crying in the chair.”, signs on the wall. Probably named his studio something like “Circus of pain” or equally edgy…
And then he has to stop his knees from trembling when your sessions are done and you shyly ask him if you can give him his number. He hates that! He was supposed to be all suave and badass and ask for YOUR number!!
Oh anon, you have got ALL THE IDEAS. 🩷🩷🩷
Not actually a story, but your wonderful ideas got the thoughts running...
WC: ~700
Warnings: SFW, a little bit suggestive here and there
A shop like “Circus of Pain” has quite the reputation. The awning is a nostalgic red and white with string lights underneath.
Flash sheets everywhere - crocodiles and hawks, ships and compasses, fruits and botanicals, lions, knives, anchors… There’s just so much. Every place you look, something new catches your eye. Until the tattoo artist comes in. The whole reason you chose this place.
He’s talented. That’s why. That’s definitely the reason why. He’s also funny. Someone who embraces the nickname Mr. Chop Chop has to be funny. He says you can call him Buggy, though. That wink. Wow. And his smile. But you came for the talent.
Buggy loves to show off. When you ask for a tattoo tour, he was more than thrilled to oblige. You don’t miss the subtle flexes as he shows his full sleeves. Or how he hikes his shorts up extra high to show you his legs. You were not prepared for all the sweet extras when he pulled up his shirt, though. Pierced nipples and a happy trail that was covered all too quickly when he dropped his shirt.
You recover when you see the dusting of blush cross his face when you shower him with compliments. You throw in a few roasts and watch his cheeks get even redder. It’s cute how he can't control the volume of his voice when he gets flustered. Especially when he remembers that you’re getting a piece on your thigh.
Buggy is a professional. He has a reputation to uphold. As much as he wants to run his hand on your leg a little longer, to feel your skin against his, to dig his fingers in your thigh…. Phew, it’s time for a break. Just a few minutes. He needs to go clear his head. Get some cold water. Spend some time alone.
You ask if it’s alright to order food now, which is more than fine. And even better when you order extra for him. The break is extended so you two can chow down and chat.
Buggy is so funny. And talented. He keeps you laughing and talking, anything to keep you distracted from the pain. He keeps an eye on how your body moves, when you seem too tense, when you hold your breath, when your hands clench.
That means he catches all the moments that you glance at him. When you stare a little longer than normal, admiring his long lashes and beautiful eyes. The focused faces he makes. Buggy’s emotive - frowning and smiling every other second. Your eyes hang on his hands as they work. His arms as they move. And those shorts that creep a little high when he sits down.
These thoughts give Buggy plenty to think about in between your sessions. Maybe you’re looking at him because he’s a weirdo. Because he’s not good looking. Maybe you laugh at him because he is the one tattooing you. Maybe you’re afraid of him messing with the tattoo, so you try to bribe his kindness with food and laughter. Maybe he should pick different outfits. Maybe…
Maybe you do like him. Maybe that’s why you keep coming back. Why you arrive early. Why you pick the food places he recommends. Maybe you don’t stop breathing from pain, but because he’s so close. And you like him.
Buggy hopes that’s the case.
He swallows that hope at the end of your last session. That tattoo is finished and absolutely fantastic - flashy, even! You like it, he likes it, and…
Before he could offer you his number, you are already offering yours.
Buggy had a whole plan! He was going to be so smooth, offering to give you his number in case you had any questions while you're healing, if you wanted to book another appointment with him directly, if you ordered too much food and needed his help finishing, if you wanted to grab a drink some time and talk.
All those thoughts fly out of his head as you sit there nervously, waiting for his answer.
Maybe he didn’t like you. Maybe you were just a client and this was incredibly rude and inappropriate.
But maybe he did like you. And maybe he did want to see you again.
Buggy nearly fell apart. He was head over heels trading numbers. Struck with one last bolt of suave inspiration, he suggested taking a selfie together so you could both use it as a contact pic.
The first picture was fine. A little stiff, if anything. The second one was silly, you each made goofy faces. And the third one…that's your favorite. At the last moment, you turned and kissed him on the cheek. Now you have a rare and treasured picture of Mr. Chop Chop looking surprised and blushing like an absolute fool.
#buggy x reader#buggy the clown x reader#buggy x you#x reader#buggy op#opla buggy#one piece buggy#buggy the clown
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bad at love (m) | nakamoto yuta
Yuta has got morals, of course. He knows that stealing is wrong and that one should help others in times of need. In his defense, he didn’t know you had a boyfriend before having sex with you. Therefore, he hasn’t done anything wrong and he’s not a bad person.
Calling you up on Sunday morning does make him a bad person, though.
pairing: nakamoto yuta x reader (female)
genre: cheating!au, mature, angst.
warnings: cheating, explicit sexual context.
who do you love (taeyong’s pov) (coming soon)
The first time Yuta sees you, he’s at a party hosted by a friend of a friend of a friend, a guy he has never met.
The house’s full of drunk and high strangers unable to hold a proper conversation. Not that he wants to talk, anyway. Yuta leans more toward the introverted side. He prefers to sit back and observe, scanning the room until his orbs fall on you.
There are five other girls around you, yet you’re the one who catches his attention. Your pink velvet dress is so short that it slides up whenever you move, exposing your thighs a little more each time, and although he knows he should stop looking, he can’t.
You’re just so freaking attractive.
“Hey, creep.” His friend, Taeil, says, handing him a cold beer. Yuta doesn’t know whether to drink it or press it to his hot cheeks. “You can go and talk to her instead of staring, you know?”
“She’s surrounded by an army of girls.” Yuta brings the bottle to his lips. “I don’t stand a chance.”
“You don’t stand a chance sitting here, that I’m sure of.”
The conversation ends there. He keeps on drinking until his bladder can’t take it anymore. To go to the bathroom upstairs, he has to walk past your group, something that intimidates him. A second later, he realizes how stupid that sounds. What is this, high school? He’s an adult, and he can go to the bathroom just fine.
His friends nod when Yuta tells them he’s leaving, even if he’s sure that they haven’t heard a thing. The music is loud enough to drown his words.
It takes great effort to not look at you on his way to the stairs, but Yuta’s weak, so he gives you a quick look. Shockingly, he catches you doing the same. It lasted a second, but you’ve looked at him. He breaks out in a cold sweat.
Oh God, you have noticed him. You know he exists.
He climbs the steps two by two, closing the bathroom door once he’s inside. He empties his bladder for a good minute, then flushes the toilet when he’s done. He walks over to the sink, pressing the pump of the liquid soap twice.
It smells like apples and makes him wonder what you smell like. For some reason, he thinks you smell of flowers. Or maybe something fruity, like peaches.
He’s about to dry his hands with the towel below the sink when the door suddenly opens, making him jump. Yuta can’t believe his eyes when you burst into the room, holding your purse with one hand and the door’s handle with the other.
“Sorry, this is the only bathroom in the whole house. Can you believe it?” You say, your voice sweet as honey, closing behind you. “Keep doing your thing, I just need a retouch.”
The click of your high heels against the floor tiles as you walk to stand next to him ricochets in the walls of his mind. It takes him a moment to realize he’s looking at you without blinking.
Taeil’s right, he’s a creep.
Yuta reaches for the towel even though his hands are almost dry. He just wants an excuse to be near you for a little longer. From the corner of his eye, he watches you grab different containers from your purse. You brush your eyebrows and apply mascara.
Then, you stop and make eye contact with him through the mirror in front of you.
“You’re staring.”
Your words snap him out of his gawking.
“Huh?”
“You’re staring.”
You repeat, slower this time.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” He leaves the towel on the rack and turns, mortified.
“It’s fine, you’ve been doing it the whole night.” Your words freeze him in place.
Fuck, he’s so pathetic.
“I’m sorry.” He repeats.
“Stop saying that, I’m not mad.” You point out, closing the zipper of your purse and turning around, leaning on the sink. “Do you think I’m hot?”
It would be rude to say no, and a lie. But, you’ll think he’s a stalker if he says yes. There’s simply no right answer. He looks into your eyes, which are filled with satisfaction.
You’re getting off on his suffering.
“Why would you ask that?” He questions, shoving his hands inside the pockets of his jeans.
“I think you’re hot.” You reply. Yuta doesn’t know what to do or say anymore. His breath hitches when you take a step forward, then another, and another one until you’re pressing your body against his. Turns out you smell of vanilla. “And I like your tattoo.”
Placing his hands on your lower back seems just right, so he does it. You round his neck with your arms, and Yuta thinks he might be dreaming when you start kissing him. Your tongue tastes like whisky, but it doesn’t bother him. The flavor is as intoxicating as you.
With your body, you guide him through the bathroom. The back of his knees touch the toilet and your hands fall on his shoulders, forcing him to break the kiss as you push him down, making him sit on the closed lid. You sit on his boner, and Yuta’s about to faint.
The hem of your dress hikes up, allowing Yuta to glance at your thighs more closely. He can’t help but touch them, stroking the exposed skin, getting lost in how smooth and warm it is.
He sighs at the feeling of your lips against his neck, a moan getting stuck in his throat. There’s a silent command in your hands rushing to undo his pants. Yuta’s quick to hook his thumbs on the waistband, pulling down both his jeans and boxers as you stand for a second, leaving him space.
He thought that the feeling of your core against his hard crotch was amazing, but now that the barrier is thinner, he might simply combust.
Your sneaky hand closes around his hard dick. Yuta moans against your mouth, looking for your tongue in the dark, biting it as you start moving your hand up and down, using his precum as lube, taking your time to reach the tip, then going back down. It’s torture, a delicious torture.
Yuta leans his head against the cold surface of the wall, mouth wide open in an attempt to catch a breath. He closes his eyes shut, lost in the pleasure offered by the kind stranger sitting on his lap.
It hits him then that he doesn’t even know your name.
Yuta opens his eyes and tries to talk, but you’re quicker.
“Have you got a condom?”
He rushes to grab his wallet from the back pocket of his jeans, fishing for the spare condom he always carries around. It’s not often that he finds himself in a bathroom with a stranger, but he likes to be prepared.
Yuta opens the package and proceeds to unroll the condom down his length with eager hands. He wants to ask if you need help, but the question dies in his throat the moment you lift your hips, aligning his dick with your entrance, your free hand holding your green lacy underwear to the side.
He holds on to your waist for dear life as you lower down on him, the feeling enough to make you both moan at the same time.
Yuta has had sex before, but it has never felt this good.
You start slow, rocking your hips back and forth at a steady pace. He holds you down whenever he can, trying to reach further into you, to hit a point that will have you melting in his arms.
He forces himself to keep his eyes open, not wanting to miss anything: how you frown, how you lick your lips.
You’re the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. You’re the most beautiful thing to have ever existed.
There’s a sudden change in the pace that causes him to dig his fingers into your sides as you move your hips roughly. Yuta wishes he could just throw you to the ground and pound into you like a madman.
He’s close, he’s so fucking close, and yet he doesn’t want this finish. He wants to have you over and over until the end of his days. But your chest is starting to shake and so are your legs, and he’s starting to feel your velvet walls tighten around him.
It only takes a few more thrusts to have you coming all over him, Yuta following closely. It feels like heaven. Heaven is this bathroom and you’re an angel.
You press your forehead against his shoulder, trying to catch your breath. Yuta wishes you could stay like this forever, but, carefully, you stand up, and Yuta has no choice. He stands up, too, lifting his underwear and pants at the same time.
He still doesn’t know your name.
The chance to ask slips through his fingers, because your phone rings the very moment he opens his mouth.
“Hey… Yeah, I’m still at the party. I think I’m going to leave, though, I’m pretty tired…”
Yuta stands there, not sure of what to do. Should he leave? That would be rude. At the same time, isn’t it rude to listen to other people’s conversations?
He’s not leaving, he wants to know your name. He decides he will fix his hair in the meantime, combing it with his fingers in an attempt to look decent when he goes back with his friends.
“No, don’t worry, Nahyun will take me home… Okay, baby, sleep well.”
Wait, baby?
“I love you.” You hang up, shoving the device inside your purse. “Sorry, my boyfriend wanted to know if I could get home okay.”
Yuta takes a while to react. He turns around, visibly shocked.
“Boyfriend?”
“Yeah.”
“Boyfriend as in… partner.”
“Yes, as a partner.” You place a hand on your hip while Yuta looks for any trace of deceit on your face. He doesn’t find any. “What?”
“We just had sex.”
“We did.”
“And you have a boyfriend?”
“Are you deaf?” He can’t believe it, you’re actually irritated! “Yes, I’m dating someone.”
How has his angel turned into a devil so quickly? What are you going to do now? Rip his heart out and devour it in front of his dead body?
“Why would you have sex with me if you have a boyfriend? What if he finds out?”
“Are you going to tell him?”
“Obviously not, but-”
“Then what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Give me your phone.” Yuta doubts for a second, unaware of where he stands in this whole mess. In the end, he complies. He watches you type something before giving his phone back. Your name shines on the screen, your number below it. “This was fun. If you ever want to repeat it, I’m one ring away.”
You walk past him, brushing his shoulder on your way out, your smell slightly changed.
Not only do you smell of vanilla, but of his perfume, too.
He spends the following day locked in his apartment, thinking.
Yuta has got morals, of course. He knows that stealing is wrong and that one should help others in times of need. In his defense, he didn’t know you had a boyfriend before having sex with you. Therefore, he hasn’t done anything wrong and he's not a bad person.
Calling you up on Sunday morning does make him a bad person, though.
You knock on his door hours later, all smiley.
Yuta feels like he should show you his apartment, and you play along by asking about certain items scattered around.
You sit on the edge of the bed when you reach his bedroom, the ghost of a smirk in your mouth and a sparkle in your eyes.
Yuta wants this time to be different, to be slow. You’re a goddess, and he’ll worship you like you deserve.
You attempt to grab the belt loop of his jeans, but Yuta pushes your hand away, leaning down to kiss you. A day and a half has passed since he tasted those lips, but it feels like years somehow.
The longing he has for you is out of this world.
As he forces you to lie down and settles in the spot between your legs, Yuta starts kissing your neck. Your fingers play with his hair, goosebumps appear all over your body.
His lips move down, reaching your collarbone. He bites the skin, gently, even if the only thing he wants is to mark you. It makes your back arch, pressing your chests together, and Yuta wonders if you can feel how fast his heart is beating.
Yuta reaches behind his back to take his T-shirt off and you mirror his actions, your lack of bra taking him by surprise. He hovers over your body again, tongue falling flat against a bud. Even his favorite song is nothing compared to the moans you’re letting out. Your pretty lips are parted, red and swollen from all the kissing, the biting. To kiss you becomes a need.
His hand travels from your hips to your underwear, which is damp where it meets your core. When Yuta trespasses the barrier, he’s amazed by the fact that you’re this wet just from kissing. You gasp as he gently touches your already sensitive folds.
You beg him to do something, anything.
So, he pulls one in. You’re a mess underneath him, asking him for more when he hasn’t even started moving. But he listens, adding two more fingers and pumping them in and out, finding satisfaction in your voice filling his room.
Being able to touch you isn’t enough. He needs to taste you, too.
Yuta slides down the mattress, the movement of his fingers never ceasing. His tongue falls flat against your folds, licking up and closing his mouth around your clit. You curse, a hand closing in a fist around his hair, the action fueling his need.
You attempt to close your legs the faster he licks, the further his fingers reach, but you won’t find him complaining. Your feet fall flat against the mattress, and your hips move up, looking for more contact, looking for more anything.
“Shit, Yuta, yes.” You can already feel the knot in your stomach growing tighter. “Don’t stop, baby, I’m close.”
Yuta keeps going, his wrist on fire, his mouth closed around your clit, sucking and licking until you’re a mess under him, a loud moan ripping up your throat.
The boy stands up to take his bottoms off and grabs a condom from the bedside table that he opens and unrolls on his way to bed.
You’re on him the moment he’s back, tasting yourself when you kiss him, begging him to fuck you into the mattress. You know Yuta can’t say no to you.
He stands on his knees, grabbing the back of your knees and pulling you in, watching you squirm in excitement as he slides into you. He moves right away, hoping you’ll adjust to his size eventually, because he loves watching your vagina swallow his dick.
You’re just as fucked up as he is, he notices when you pull him in, wanting to have him as close to you as possible. Your breath hits his mouth whenever he gives a rough thrust, and you bite his lower lip until blood comes out.
Yuta kneels again, pressing his hand to your belly to keep you in place, then starts pounding into you like there’s no tomorrow, trying to seize the moment as much as he can. He gets lost in the way his name spills from your mouth, in the way you try to follow his lead, looking for more.
The view is enough to send him over the edge, his pace becoming erratic and messy, his sole purpose being to make you reach a second orgasm before he finishes. You clench around him and close your eyes, seeing colorful sparks as the knot in your stomach explodes.
Yuta follows closely, his dick prisoner of your tight walls. He falls forward, so not ready to let you go.
You leave, but at least you promise to come back for more.
There are two unspoken rules when it comes to your weird relationship.
Number one, Yuta can’t catch feelings.
Number two, you don’t speak of Taeyong, your boyfriend.
He was happy with fucking around twice a week if he was lucky, and he sure as hell didn’t want to hear about that other man. Yuta thought it would be easy.
At least, at first.
Perhaps it was the guilt starting to weigh up on him, or maybe he was just bitter after seeing all those pictures on your Instagram feed beside him.
Taeyong’s handsome, Yuta’s not going to lie. He seems cool and laid back. Yuta wonders what you think he’s missing, and at the same time takes pride in that whatever Taeyong is missing, he can provide.
But if he can provide, why won’t you stay?
He breaks the second rule on a Tuesday evening. Taeyong is out of town and you have decided to stay for the night. Yuta is so glad because that means sleeping with you after sex. It makes this whole thing feel more intimate, and real.
Maybe he’s breaking the first rule, too.
“Do you love him?”
Yuta expects you to storm out of the room in the blink of an eye, coming at his throat because he dared to ask such a thing. You don’t.
“I do.”
Somehow, your answer sinks his heart further.
“Are you happy?”
“Do you think I’m not?”
“You’re having sex with other people behind his back.”
“Sex is purely physical.” You say, starting to get defensive. “What Taeyong and I have is on another level.”
Yuta answers before he can even think of the consequences.
“Bullshit.”
“Excuse me?”
“That’s complete bullshit.”
“Drop it, Yuta, I’m not having this conversation with you.” You get up, grabbing your underwear and pants from the floor and putting them on. “I thought I had made it clear.”
“I have the right to ask.” He fights back, rushing to put on his underwear, too. His tone grows harsher the more he speaks. “It’s me you’re cheating with. I’m the fucking third wheel in this fucked up game!”
You look at him as if you’ve just had an epiphany. Or maybe you’re acting. It wouldn’t surprise him at all. You can’t keep playing dumb now that he has admitted his true feelings out loud.
“Is that why you’re pressed?” You’re wearing his T-shirt, but he doesn’t say a word about it. He has the feeling that it’ll be the only thing tying you to him after this. “Yuta, are you in love with me?”
His silence is enough to answer your question. He just stands there, looking miserable.
“We talked about this.”
“I know, I fucking know!”
“Look, the sex is amazing.” You start, and he already can tell how this conversation is going to end. “But it’s not enough. Yuta, we don’t even know each other.”
“We could.”
God, he must sound pathetic.
“Yuta, I don’t want to know you.” He doesn’t dare to look at your face. “I have no intention of leaving Taeyong. You should know that already.”
You grab your sneakers from under his bed and walk out of the room. Yuta finally breathes out the moment he hears the front door close.
Yuta knew he would see you again. His friends and you moved in similar circles, after all. What he didn’t expect was finding you on your boyfriend’s lap, laughing about something he’s sure it’s not that funny.
Taeyong’s even more handsome in person. He’s wearing a leather jacket and ripped jeans, and his green hair shines under the kaleidoscopic lights of the club. Fuck, he hates the guy. He hates how bubbly you seem around him. He hates that you can display your affection for him in public.
It makes his blood boil, fantasizes with the idea of going over there and telling Taeyong everything, hopefully ruining your relationship.
He watches you peck Taeyong’s lips before standing up and making your way toward the bathroom. He waits a few seconds, then follows your steps.
No one’s in the corridor, so he grabs your arm and shoves you inside the narrow space. It’s awfully lit, yet enough to catch the surprise in your face. He quickly locks the door.
“Yuta! What the fuck?” Your hand is pressed against your chest, which falls as you let out a sigh. “You almost gave me a heart attack.”
“What are you doing here?” He sounds so angry that even he’s surprised. “What are you doing here with him?”
“What am I doing here with my boyfriend, you mean?”
“You knew I was coming here.” He points a finger at you, the venom in his system begging to come out. “You knew, that’s why you brought him. Are you trying to make me jealous?”
You scoff, smiling sideways. You can’t believe his words.
“Are you hearing yourself?” You lean against the bathroom’s wall. “Do you really think I want to hurt you that badly? See what I meant when I said that you don’t know me? This is exactly why we can’t keep this thing going.”
Your words make him come to his senses for a few seconds. He growls, kicking the metal bin in the corner. It makes you jump in surprise.
“What the fuck are you?” He asks, turning around. You simply raise an eyebrow. “What have you done to me? You’ve driven me fucking crazy!”
“Don’t blame me for your jealousy!” You snap, taking a step forward. “It’s not my fault you’re delusional.”
“Is that so?” Yuta closes the distance between your bodies. You look up, holding his gaze. “Am I being delusional?”
“Yes, you are. So don’t blame me. Accept we’re over and move on.”
He pushes you against the wall, his hot breath hitting your breath. It awakens something in you, he can tell by the way you look at him. He presses his body against yours, his hand sneaking under your dress.
You don’t fight it when he moves the thin fabric of your underwear to the side, collecting your juices with his middle finger.
The action makes you shiver.
“Tell me this is over again.”
“If you’re going to fuck me, do it already.”
Yuta has never kissed you like this, so violently. His mouth crashes against yours, and his teeth scratch your lips, but there’s pleasure in the pain. You’ve never seen him angry before, and you must admit that it turns you on.
Before you can register what’s happening, Yuta grabs you by your arms and takes you away from the wall, turning you around to place you in front of the bathroom sink, facing the mirror.
Behind you, Yuta lifts your dress enough to expose your ass. He touches you from behind, making you arch your back only for him to grab your neck and push you forward, keeping your head low.
The hand caressing you moves away, and you hear Yuta undoing his belt. Next thing you know, Yuta’s burying himself inside you without warning. You try to fight against the hand holding you down, only to fail. It forces you to press your hands against the mirror, trying to find some sort of support.
Yuta sets a brutal pace that makes you think he’ll break you in half. You’re pressed against the sink, the edge hurting your abdomen. But you don’t ask him to stop. You don’t want him to stop.
If you had known that Yuta would react like this upon seeing you beside Taeyong, you would’ve forced an encounter sooner.
The hand holding your head closes around your hair, grabbing a handful and forcing you to straighten your back. You whine as Yuta presses your back against his chest.
“What would he say?” He growls in your ear, sucking your earlobe. It makes you moan out loud, close your eyes. “What would Taeyong say if he knew that the love of his life is being fucked stupid in a nasty bathroom?”
Your lips curve in a wicked smile that makes him shiver. But you don’t answer.
“You’re a horrible person.” He snaps. “You’re evil.”
“If I’m so evil,” you manage to say in between whimpers. “Why do you love me so fucking much?”
Your words cut him like a knife. He has asked himself that same question ever since he met you. He hasn't found an answer yet.
He finds your eyes in the mirror, reading your face. You're close, and so is he. His movements become erratic, but he doesn’t let go of your hair.
The rough growl he lets out vibrates through you, his cum filling you up to the brim. You feel it slide down your inner thighs when he pulls out, taking your orgasm away from you.
You turn around, surprised and offended at equal parts.
“He can take care of you better than me, can’t he?” He pulls his underwear and pants up. “Let him finish my job. Let him taste me.”
An ironic chuckle leaves your lips. You arrange your panties and fix your dress.
“You’re pathetic.”
Yuta grabs the lock in an attempt to leave, but he can’t bring himself to open the door.
“Delete my number. I’ll delete yours. If I don’t, I’ll come back. Please, don’t make me come back.”
You swear you’ve never seen anyone as sad as him.
“I won’t.” You say, pride taking over your voice. “As far as I’m concerned, you and I have never happened.”
Yuta nods, finally able to unlock the door, stepping out of the narrow room and into the wide corridor.
It feels like reaching the surface after being held underwater, being able to breathe after being choked.
But if he feels so free, why does his chest feel so hollow?
No reposting or translations allowed.
© epinebleue 2023
#yuta smut#nct smut#nct fic#nct yuta#nct yuta smut#nct yuta angst#nakamoto yuta#yuta imagine#nct angst#yuta angst
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rosie u have the biggest most sexiest brain ever im waiting for best friend rin rn ok
✩ ‧ ₊˚ CAN YOU SEE RIGHT THROUGH ME? — RIN ITOSHI.
content. fluff, 1.1k words, failed attempt at angst, ooc rin !!! not proofread / notes. my dear amora <33 no bc i have so many thoughts about best friend! rin 😮💨 how did this get so long T-T
his name on your contacts is literally 'bf rin<3' and it literally stands for best friend, he doesn't know that but let him dream, okay?
kidding it's just 'teal bitch' (i can't think of names tbh), unless...
anyways.
no cause i firmly believe he walks with you to school or rides the bus with u everyday, he'll always be at your home by 6 am and your mom always prepares breakfast always urging him to eat with the two of you. she would always scold you for not waking up early like rin.
always with the comparing.
but, hey at least your mom absolutely supports the both of you if ever did end up together. may or may not have already planned your wedding or anything (maybe even had a bet between the both of your parents) but you didn't hear that from me.
and he would judge you for every guy you have a crush on PLS, you'll be like: "that guy is kinda cute," and he would glance at the guy you were pertaining to, brows furrowing and giving you a side eye,
"tf your taste in men is lukewarm," excuse me?????!!!?? he thinks he looks sm better.
he would always hangout with you on the weekends always down to watch movies with you, horror of course bc what else could he possibly watch.
"hey, wanna watch a movie? i got a new horror one," sending him up a text as you ready your room for your movie date night.
"be there by 10," he would always reply, following up with a question. "chips or ice cream?"
you'll always pick the ice cream anyways, yk he likes it very much and he just buys both of it no matter what.
always with the bickering and you hitting him of some sorts.
"at least I wasn't dumb enough to get back to my ex, twice!"
"at least your brother follows me on my social media account!"
"fuck you??????!!!????" *he was crying*
sae would be so fucking done with rin, he doesn't care anymore. you and his brother hiding feelings for each other is so painful to watch anyway. probably the reason why he left for spain. (omg what is he doing here)
okay so your friends- scratch that everyone in your town practically wondering why the two of you haven't got together yet and like please they are all literally waiting for THAT day. best believe that everyone was so willing to help rin to confess to you. how did everyone know? a little birdie or a demon (shidou provoked him obv) which is more accurate may have possibly babbled it about to a person who's a chitty chatter and soon enough everyone knows.
and you might not notice it whenever you look away from him or when you're distracted, his eyes couldn't help but to look at every inch of your face or admire it. you don't know how he looks at your pictures every night, you don't know that all he needs is you beside him, you don't know how much he wants to just take you in his arms and tell you he can treat you sm better than that lukewarm piece of shit person you call your ex.
and you don't know that he had beaten your ex right on the face 11 months after your break up. he came into your home at 1:43 am with a cut lip and bleeding knuckles, you didn't suspect that it was your ex who had the honor to be met with his fist. you only scolded him, not to get hurt again, to stop losing his temper and picking fights.
he was sitting on the counter of your kitchen, laying his head on your shoulders, you in between his legs, as you caress his hair. and he likes to say something, to say so much more than a promise. and holds off for awhile, snuggling deeper into your neck, feeling his breath that has your skin tickling. your afraid he might hear the pounding of your heart right into your ribcage. taking a deep breath, shakily.
"rin, you need to go home," you whisper.
you were only met with silence, as you felt his hand intertwining with your free one.
"don't make me go," he says right into your ear. "just- just stay.."
and you couldn't really resist him, can you?
"okay. 'm not going anywhere," you stood still, your thumb drawing circles on his hands. "i'll stay... i'll stay, rin" you reassure.
something changed after that night, and you finally noticed all the signs. how rin was more of a different person to you and not just because he was your best friend. but because he had a feeling. now, his eyes would hold more meaning than his words would.
and it scared you.
how much all this time, you were pretty much blind and oblivious. because this was your best friend, the man who you had almost spent your whole life with. and he looks at you like a precious thing he doesn't deserve.
because finally all the love songs have meaning to it now. all the things around him remind him of you. and as much as he tries his best to mask everything he was feeling, it kept slipping down on his face whenever he was with you.
and confessing to you wasn't the perfect scenario he had imagined so many times, it was awful, he thinks. the rain was pouring hard and loud on the pavement. you were on the road, the same road you would always walk on the way home. all wet and soaked from the rain, you still look pretty. you were pretty.
"i like you," he said, it was almost like a whisper from all the noises. he's pretty sure you didn't hear him, but the way you were walking towards him with a smile adorning your beautiful face, he can't help to think.
did you hear it? is this really happening? he finally did it.
and it didn't occur to him immediately how your lips were pressing against his, all under the rain your hands caressing the side of his face. and he didn't waste anymore time, kissing you back with the same intensity. he can feel you grinning against his lips.
you pulled away, arms wrapping round his neck, "i like you too, rin itoshi," you said with elation, eyes brimming with tears.
"i like you a whole lot," you repeated.
he could only take your lips once again as if he would die if he wouldn't. fuck, he thinks he needs to hear you say it, again and again.
and just like that the mask he's been wearing all this time was gone.
"what took you so long, idiot?"
◞♡ something took over me while writing this, it's monday again i hope everyone has a great week ahead!
#roses ‘r rosie#rin itoshi fluff#rin itoshi x reader#rin itoshi x you#blue lock x reader#blue lock x you#rin itoshi imagines#blue lock headcanons#blue lock fluff#blue lock#rin itoshi#itoshi rin x reader#itoshi rin x you#itoshi rin
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Task force 141! Gangster x Reader
Truth or Pain
This is part 3. Part 2
Leave a comment if you want to be tagged in future posts.
You’re hanging out with Soap again and he watches you work on a your newest piece. You enjoy moments like these. You feel like yourself, and like you aren’t forcing your part. Soap was impressed with your skill. You were very good with your hands, and your work was great demonstration.
“You want to try?” You offer Soap a brush.
“You think I can make somethin as good as you?” He asks taking up your offer.
“Try it.” You say. A small voice in the back of your head suggests getting him on vandalism but you ignore it. He takes the brush and adds a bit of colour to wall… in the form of a very crude doodle of himself.
You finally take a break with him, warming your hands on the hot cup of cocoa.
“So what exactly do you guys do? Like I’ve seen you guys work but… I don’t get it.” You say, breaking the silence.
Soap thinks for a moment before answering. “We do what needs to be done.”
When he looks at you to see your reaction he finds you silently asking for more details.
“The Los Voqueros sell medicines. Simple stuff that’s not easy to afford. Painkillers, allergy meds. Ya know Farah, woman that ‘elped ‘ide us when those cops tried to grab us? She’s a bit of a vigilante, keepin some big corporation from ruin’in her neighbourhood.
“The problems with the world canna be solved by cops and white collars. They don’a’ven want to. We do. We set the world right, and we ‘ven ave a little fun on the side.”
He gives you a soft elbow to the arm. You smile. But underneath there’s a few things going on you’re not telling him. He’s given you two statements. One that can be used on Farah Karim, for aiding two criminals. The other could start a hunt for the Los Voqueros and their shipments of drugs. It wasn’t what you had been sent to find but it was a start. You might actually be taken seriously at the precinct, people might actually start having faith in your abilities. But… Farah had shown you and a few others kindness and trust. Her neighbourhood was constantly being targeted for demolition and businesses. You knew how expensive medications and drugs could be, you had needed them before yourself. As you sat there continuing to sip your warm drink, you started to ask yourself if this was truly what you wanted to do. The cops were bringing down people who were just trying to help. Sure they clubbed and partied on the side but hell, who doesn’t take some personal time?
You decide to keep the information to yourself for now, after all, Graves would only ask for a report on Soap and Ghost. Farah and Alejandro weren’t the priority.
You think back to your father. He was trying to help too. But it got him killed. You couldn’t let a bunch of gangs run free just because they were trying to help. The man sitting next to you had killed people before. He beat up good cops, stole shipments of drugs, and made it difficult for businesses to expand and grow the economy.
The rest of the day goes by fairly casually. You don’t give Graves anything on Soap, because well, he hadn’t given you anything. Nothing you could prove. Graves is frustrated, but he’s honestly too tired to care and leaves soon after.
A few more weeks go by and try to keep tabs on everything you can. The Los Vaqueros approved of the artwork you came up with, and now they were deciding where they wanted it. Hopefully they would give you a chance to be alone to work on it and you could find more evidence. Soap had mentioned helping with recent shipments so maybe you could get something from there.
The location was an old and empty warehouse, practically deserted. Alejandro and Rudolfo went with you to the location to show you where they wanted it.
It was more like where they wanted you though. Next thing you know, Rudolfo has you pinned against the wall while Alejandro is yelling questions.
“What are you looking for?”
“The fuck are you talking about?!” You yell. Rudolfo holds you tighter by your jacket. “Why are you here? What the fuck you want?!” Alejandro is pissed, but you have to stay quiet. You can’t give them anything.
“For the fucking mural! You asked me to!” You choke out. Rudolfo is ordered to drop you and you hit the floor, coughing.
Alejandro is nowhere close to being done with you. A good man he may be, but with traitors? Few could tell you how that went.
You’re met with a boot against your ribs as a warning.
“Why are you really here… out with it.” He warns.
“I don’t kno-“ before you can finish you get the wind kicked out of you.
“You know damn well why you’re here…tell me now.” He orders. Rudolfo keeps an eye out while Alejandro continues interrogating you.
“What are you talking about?!” You manage after regaining some air. He holds up his phone and shows a photo of you… in uniform.
“What are you looking for?” He asks. There’s some lenience as he lets you get to your hands and knees. Alejandro helps you stand by grabbing you and pinning you to the wall again. You try to kick him off, your heart pounding in your chest and ears ringing in your head.
“Start talking!”
“I don’t know what you mean!”
“I know you’re a fucking cop!” He yells. “You’re undercover! I know you are, so start talking! Who else is undercover? What are you trying to find?!”
“Get off!” You yell back. At this point you’d have enough evidence for assault, but right now you were fighting to remain an assault victim.
“Not until you tell me who else is undercover with you.” Alejandro demands, you get punched in the gut making you cough. “Tell me and you walk away!”
“I…don’t…” another hit, this one to the face. There’s footsteps but you barely notice them. He grabs you by the jaw and gets close.
“Talk and I won’t tell Soap… you walk away and nothing happens…”
“…I’m a cop…” you admit. You were scared. You didn’t know how he knew. You weren’t supposed to say anything. When he brought up Soap though… Soap was the only one who seemed to put any trust in you. Losing that would hurt more than anything Alejandro could do to you.
“Where are your partners? Who are they?” Alejandro asks, his rage reducing a bit. Before you can answer though you hear a thick Scottish accent shouting and Alejandro pulled off of you.
You fall back to the ground and see Soap and Alejandro arguing with Rudolfo nearby trying to break them apart. You can barely make out what they’re saying, but eventually two hands grip your arms and help you to your feet just as Soap turns to you.
“Come on kid.” You hear a deep British voice say and you look to see Ghost is holding you, and lead you out of the warehouse while Soap follows not long after.
Ghost gets you to a car, telling you to get in the back which you do and you sit patiently for Soap to come along and sit in the passenger’s seat. They don’t say anything to you, just start driving.
As they get on the road Soap speaks up.
“Where we takin the cop?” He asks.
Your heart plummets when he says it. The way he says it tells you he’s pissed. With you.
“I’m taking Y/N to a hide out. The boss can deal with them.” Ghost said.
Soap looks back at you in the rear view and you look away. Not out the window, but more at the door. Your body was sore from Alejandro, and you were tired. You were too nervous to fall asleep.
When you get to the hideout, you sit up so Ghost can open the door. He jerks his head signalling for you to get out of the vehicle, and you do, keeping your head down. You can’t look at either of them.
Ghost leads you inside with Soap following behind you. He opens the door telling you to sit down, before stopping Soap from going inside and shuts the door.
“The fuck is this?” Soap asks annoyed.
“You’re emotional MacTavish.” Ghost tells him.
“Have fuckin right to be. We trusted ‘em and-“
“They were doing their job.” Ghost finishes the sentence.
“They used us.”
“You knew this was possible… like father like child.” Ghost reminds him. Soap is still pissed and kicks the ground hard in frustration. Ghost just folds his arms, and leans in front of the door frame letting Soap get his colourful Scottish phrases rattle off while tossing and kicking anything he could get his hands on.
You can hear them from outside and you consider running off, running away and not looking back. Soap and his men had given you a chance, a chance you had been waiting for. Soap was your friend, and he would defend you to no end. Any of his men tried to get handsy or get too drunk and go off he was beside you, jabbing back at them. He talked you up to Rudy and Al, assured Farah you were a good person, kept you close to his side… you start to wonder if it had all been for the case, or if you had done it because you felt like you were a part of something for once.
Ghost soon comes back inside, Soap is nowhere to be seen.
“You broken?” He asks. You fight your tears and shake your head.
“Take your jacket off and roll up your shirt.” He orders. You slowly stand and do as he says, showing a couple bruises. Ghost sighs and gets an ice pack from his freezer handing it to you along with a rag. You take it already knowing what to do, while he pulls up a chair and sits in front of you.
“What’s your name?” He asks.
“Y/n… y/n l/n.” You say shifting a little as you placed the ice pack to one of the bruises.
“…you’re a cop.” He says. You nod, despite the statement being rhetorical.
“Soap was aware that could be the case… given your father.” He says. You look at Ghost.
“You…”
“We knew your dad. All of us, including the boss. Good man.” He said as if trying to end the discussion. You two sat in silence for a bit while you mulled over what he said. Your father was a cop, did he do the same thing? Go undercover? Did Graves know?
“Keep the pack.” Ghost says standing up. You follow him to the car and he takes you back to your apartment. Before you exit the car he gives you a piece of paper.
“Text this for a ride.” He says. You take it.
“Could you tel-“
“No.” He says. “Tell Soap yourself.”
You nod and leave the car and go inside to your apartment. It’s late, almost midnight and god knows how long Graves has been waiting.
You knock on your own door and Graves soon opens it. When you walk in you hardly pay him any mind as he’s demanding to know where you’ve been. He keeps asking even while you’re getting some painkillers for your soreness and now headache from Graves.
“Nothing happened.” You say.
“Somethin happene-“
“Nothing… got into a fight that was it.” You say.
“You start it?” He asks.
“…no.”
“Who did?”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“It does matter sergeant, now start talking!”
“I don’t know anything!” You yell. Your whole body tensed as it felt like you were at the warehouse getting questioned again. You flinched when he got closer. You clenched your fists digging the nails into your palms.
“Sergeant this is getting ridiculous. I have half a mind to take you off this case.”
“Then do it…” you mutter. At this point you don’t care. You’re in pain and this case made everything you had started to care for fall apart. What had Graves honestly done except tell you, you weren’t ready and remind you of the expectations you had being your father’s kid? Soap knew your dad, and never once reminded you of living up to him.
“What?” Graves looks at you stunned.
“Do it. Take me off the case. It’s probably for the best.” You say shrugging. Graves looks at you pressing his lips together. He shook his head.
“Your fath-“
“I don’t give a fucking damn about my father or how I’m his disappointment of a kid okay? You’re right I’m a fucking joke being his kid.”
“I’ve given you a chance to prove yourself!” Graves argues.
“And what have I done? Nothing! I’m a glorified tagger that’s what you said right?! Fine! Then I’ll be one! You gonna arrest me then?” You’re staring him down now. He just looks back, hiding his surprise. If Graves was being honest, he was tempted to do so.
“…I’ll be back in the morning.” He says and leaves your apartment. As soon as the door closes your pain opens. You’re hurting, he can tell. Something happened that scared you and that’s all he sees. He doesn’t know what’s going on deeper. The act was working but on him. The act of joining a gang in order to get closer, but that wasn’t an act to you. Not anymore. You clean yourself up, apply ice to your bruises, and stare at your father’s badge. How much did he know? How much did any of them know? You keep asking questions the whole night.
Price is sitting at a booth in a restaurant going over some paperwork when Johnny strides over and sits in the booth across from him. Price finishes the sentence he was reading and looks up.
“You knew this could happen.” Price says calmly.
“Don’t fuckin remind me…” Soap grumbles.
“How is l/n?” Price asks. “Simon told me he sent her home.”
“He did… Alejandro got to her before I ever could.” Soap comments.
“Yeah well, from what you told me, she won’t be for long. She has my number and if she was talking cops would be knocking.”
“Now what?” Soap asks.
“We wait.” Price tells him.
Taglist : @H0n3y_L3m0n
#cod au#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#task force 141 x reader#alejandro vargas#rudolfo parra#captain john price#cod gangster au#gangster au#phillip graves
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