#(they’re not ALL at 5am thank god)

[onward--upward]

have to wake up at like 4am on friday for work and i am ALREADY dreading it <3

#like yes the new job is great however DO i want to do these 5am shifts? no not at all #(they’re not ALL at 5am thank god) #(​but i have three next week and i’m literally going to expire) #q talks

[saintescuderia]

welcome to the mini series of the random, mindless thoughts had by a poet disguised in an orange jumpsuit watching cars speed by all weekend. enjoy!

--- note: 5am starts, 7pm finishes. all four days. gotta love formula 1!

thursday: media day!

i want the ferrari jacket

there are school kids here?

i don’t want the ferrari jacket

$7 for a small can of red bull is THEFT

especially since they broke the cost cap

me walking through the “accredited personnel” gate and tapping my special lanyard is a CORE memory

i think my uber driver dropped me off on the opposite side of the track

*stressing about being unable to admire the sights of albert park bc i’m stress-running from the opposite end of the track to my station*

pls don’t be a dick and say i’m late - i know

how is a 5am wake up not early enough HOW?

“last year i was stationed at the corner where charles spun out.”

sole thought = 💀💀💀💀

i. fucking. love. cars.

the whole SENSORY experience of a race ffffffffffffuuuuuck

“be careful taking pictures because that security camera is on us and is straight to race control and the FIA.” is such a cool sentence to hear

a porsche gtr should not be covered with branding idc

i’m definitely going to abuse caffeine this weekend

friday: FP1 / FP2

the sun is rising over the lake as i walk on the albert park track and i’m happy to be alive

especially as i found a toilet that isn’t a port-a-loo

ah, a cafe that does good decent coffee thank GOD

am i going to pay $10 for a croissant?

i'm going to pay $10 for a croissant.

i lived in paris but this one fresh lune choc croissant has topped it all

no like there will never be another croissant experience to beat me eating a fresh pain au chocolat on a f1 circuit as the sun rises over the water with the melbourne skyline in the background

aramco engineers are walking behind me as i shit talk about f1, nice

“it is an increasingly unique experience peeing in a port-a-loo beside a formula one track as cars race by.”

120’000 is a LOT of people

how has the float not broken yet?

metro boomin has released an album as i stand before live formula one. life has PEAKED

fernando alonso is the first F1 driver i ever saw live

there is a shift in formula one as the heritage fans of motor racing are on the out as the next generation of fans absorbed in driver hype and social media takes over and we see this in how F1 has created the new US tracks and made them all into spectacles and fans are here because of it being “cool” instead of caring about cars

… maybe i should buy the redbull jacket instead?

bonus: sole thought during the pitlane walk for the marshals

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

saturday: FP3 / qualifying

the relief of thinking you’re late and then seeing someone you know HA

commentators are now contractually obligated to bring up saudi arabia every time they talk about ollie bearman

jesus they’re as bad as the f1 girlies

i have to watch the grand prix replay after all of this i have no idea what’s actually going on

CHARLES GOES FASTER THAN MAX HA

kimi spinning out has me actively wanting to cry

a safety car FROM THE PIT EXIT

welcome to F2 everyone 👏👏👏

not me lying to the cute irish guy hitting on me about @saintescuderia

a big fat ha at the eshays holding their puffer jackets - even they can’t stand the heat

don’t flex on me that you’re here at F1 when you don’t even know what’s going on yourself bruhhhh

to the red bull fan telling me i’m “dramatic” for rolling under the fence (it’s how marshals have to do it) pls get help

$7 for a calispo is a JOKE

recording F1 quali isn’t even worth it bc they're TOO FAST

JOKES I GOT A PHOTO WITH ALBONO

i’m very lucky for my team of marshals :))))))))))

i’m only going to eat half my muffin

*finishes the whole thing*

sunday: race!

KIMI ANTONELLI!

do i ask for a photo?

*every photo of charles leclerc being abused flashes through my mind*

nah leave him be

five minutes later: i regret not asking him

the group of aussies dressed as lance stroll drunk at 9am have my heart and my respect

i need a coffee

seeing kimi walk right by me has now made so much invested for f2

i really need a coffee

yep they screwed kimi with all those safety cars

i really, really need a coffee

we get to go ON TRACK? for the DRIVERS PARADE

*starts practicing “get well soon” in spanish*

my heart is BEATING

lol jokes carlos didn’t even look at us

*checks footage to see that i accidentally just recorded guanyu zhou next to carlos the whole time :))))*

lol are they putting lewis and charles together all the time?

every marshal: “that was the shittest parade ever.”

i need a drink

pls don’t talk to me for the next two hours

don't meet your heroes kids

but also why the fuck did they do the float in one big car? and do INTERVIEWS? this is legit the one time the drivers can be there JUST for the FANS

F1 can PISS OFF

race start = okay it's happening

waitwaitwaitwaitWAITDIDIJUSTSEECARLOSOVERTAKEMAX?!

nevermind i love him

"race control has asked that you calm down, marshals are supposed to be neutral."

lol at the entirety of albert cheering that max is slowly coming to a DNF

mclaren swapping oscar for lando is DISGUSTING fuck zak brown

somehow, i've forgotten that charles is just there

SEND IT CARLOS VAmos

(this is all because i told you que te mejores pronto!)

daniel ricciardo....man..... aus gp can't market you like this.......

damn yuki got HANDS

ferrari and mclaren having the top 4 places is just *chefs kiss*

lewis just had to stall just pass my sector like i hope ur okay but couldn't u not be ok in front of me?

red bull deserves this after all the FLACK i've copped from red bulls fans ("dramatic" MY ASS)

wait george russell ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

singapore all over again. i can already see the memes.

somehow marshalling a gp has you closer and more removed from the whole thing i have no idea what's going on

(literally the only time i used my F1TV live timing)

finishing after the safety car means i can't stick my head out and clap for carlos FUCK OFF

wait, he came up right UP TO MY SIDE OF THE TRACK TO WAVE

... do you think he noticed me?

#saintescuderia #ferrari #F1 #formula 1 #charles leclerc #lewis hamilton #max verstappen #lando norris #f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #mclaren racing #mclaren f1 #mclaren formula 1 #oscar piastri #albert park #aus gp 2024 #carlos sainz #carlos sainz jr #f1 2024 #scuderia ferrari #dr3 #daniel ricciardo #danny ric #red bull racing #ollie bearman #mercedes amg petronas #team lh44 #alex albon #alexander albon

[dracothedeatheatingcupcake-ao3]

I doubt literally anyone else will care about this, but this has been a mini goal/desire of mine for so fricken long now, so I wanted to at least share it here, ha.

Anyway, TPWP is one of my more popular fics. It took a while to get there when I was posting, creeping up with the kudos and hits and everything each week, but by god did it get there. Once I finished posting it and it plateaued in statistics, the only fic that was above it in terms of popularity was my old fic, A Pirate’s Life (APL), which I had written when I was like 17-18 I believe. And APL is not a bad fic, no. It’s just definitely unpolished and a bit rough in spots. And the ship itself is a bit ehhhh, though I always liked the fanon interpretation of the ship much more than anything from canon. I’m digressing though.

Anyway, I always privately hoped that TPWP would surpass APL in popularity, since I much prefer TPWP in terms of writing ability and the ship itself. I also wanted my most kudosed and ‘popular’ fic to be something that reflected my current writing level and ships, not something I wrote and liked when I was newly an adult. While I know now that the number of kudos on a fic ultimately doesn’t matter too much and doesn’t really say if a fic is popular or not, TPWP having more kudos than APL was always a private goal of mine, something I privately wanted and hoped for.

However, after I had finally finished posting TPWP and the last of the rush of kudos came in from that, I saw that TPWP was almost 200 kudos away from APL, and given the fact that fics will often stagnate in kudos/hits once they’re complete and haven’t posted in a couple months (at least in my experience), I had a feeling that I’d never really make this goal. And it was a little disappointing, but I never let it bother me too much. Plus, starting last year I had a new most popular fic (thanks, Luigi and the Beast), so I had something else that reflected my modern writing style and ships, so it wasn’t that big of a deal anymore in my mind.

Still, part of me wanted TPWP to surpass APL, and today, it finally happened. While this can obviously still swap since I do still get kudos on APL from time to time, the fact that TPWP not only managed to reach APL’s kudos count, but surpassed it even once? I never thought that would happen, to be honest. I never thought that TPWP would manage to get almost 200 extra kudos once I stopped posting regularly, since in my experience that doesn’t happen often. Usually I’ll get a decent amount once it’s no longer an active fic, but not enough that it would surpass another old fic that was gaining passive kudos too.

Anyway, I’m not so sure where I’m going with this. As you can see from my screenshots, it’s like 5am where I am now, and my brain just woke me up and refuses to let me go back to sleep (a common occurrence these days, for some reason. I’ve long since stopped asking why my brain does what it does in regards to sleep. It’s better that way), so I’m kinda rambling.

The point, I suppose, is that this was a goal of mine for so long now, and I’m honestly kind of proud and happy that I finally reached it. While I do have problems with TPWP, ultimately I am very proud of it and it makes me so, so happy that people are still enjoying it all of these years later. When I started writing fanfic over 13 years ago at age 13, I never would have expected to be here. My writing was meh at best and I struggled a lot with getting my thoughts and ideas across. There’s a reason I will never post my fanfiction.Net username, even though my oldest fics are still posted there. Writing was just something I did for fun and as a way to show my love for my fandoms; it was never anything serious. But I always wanted to write a fic that mattered… you know? That stuck with people. That people genuinely liked and that maybe even helped them. You know?

I think I managed that with TPWP. I’ve gotten so many comments over the years thanking me for writing it, people saying that they will go back to it and reread it from time to time, that it helped them, etc. I was always so grateful and happy that I was able to write something that resonated with so many people, which had been a dream of mine ever since I started writing and would cry tears of frustration when I struggled to get my thoughts across how I wanted to.

And, like I’ve said. I know that kudos/favorites are not the only metric to determine if a fic is popular or ‘good.’ However, it has always been a good base for me to gauge interest in my fics, to see roughly what people think of it. And, even though it prolly shouldn’t, the amount of kudos/favorites on my fics has always mattered to me. Ever since I was a young child I’ve had an intense desire to be liked. But more than that, I always wanted to be ‘the favorite.’ To be ‘the best.’ Even when I knew I never would be, simply because I lacked the skill or patience to be ‘the best.’ I still would always want that, and it would hurt me deep inside to know that I just… wasn’t. Yes, I was smart, but I was never ‘the smartest.’ Yes, I was well liked by my peers, but I was never ‘popular.’ Yes, I was always doing well and could hold my own in most things I tried, but I was never (and would never) be ‘the best.’ I just couldn’t. I was either too unskilled, too impatient, too shaky (physically, in some cases), too… everything, and I could never, ever be the absolute best at anything, really. I just physically couldn’t. I’d never be the best singer, I’d never be the best artist, I’d never be the best writer, I’d never be the best chef, I’d never be the best creator, and I’d never be that elusive ‘favorite.’ Never, never, never.

And it hurt. A lot. Growing up and even to this day. But I’ve gotten so much better with it over the years. With the knowledge that I will never be ‘the best,’ that I will never be ‘the favorite,’ and that this is okay. And, in fact, not only is this okay, but it’s expected. Perfection is a myth and it’s impossible to achieve. I spent over 375k words trying to showcase this fact, because it’s something I still, to this day, three months past twenty-six, struggle with. But I’m getting there. By god, am I getting there. And by removing that desire to be ‘perfect,’ to be ‘the best,’ I’ve improved so much in every field I create work in. Once I did away with the desire to create something ‘perfect,’ I was able to make things that were just ‘good enough.’ Is this art project I spent hours working on made more of hot glue than its actual art medium? Yes, but it’s made. And it looks nice enough. And while it will never win any awards, I like it. Is my writing repetitive, derivative of itself, sometimes rushed, and more focused on angst than plot? Yes. But it’s made. And it’s good enough. And people like it. And, most importantly of all?

I like it.

I like it. Even if it isn’t ’perfect.’ Even if it won’t win awards. Even if no one else on the planet likes it, if everyone looks at it and goes ‘… okay, so what?’ I like it. I spent so much time and effort creating it. I did everything I could to make it properly. And it doesn’t matter if it’s a bit lumpy. If it has exposed seams. If it doesn’t look like other people’s creations. It’s made, and I made it, and I put my heart and soul into it, and that? That’s what matters. I learned while making it, and next time I make something similar, I’ll do better. And the time after that? I’ll do better again. And again. And again. I’ll never reach ‘perfection.’ I’ll never make something that people will look at, gasp, and think ‘my god, that’s the most perfect thing I’ve ever seen.’ I’ll never reach that impossible goal that I made for myself when I was a young preteen, painfully insecure and wanting to find validation in others. I never will reach this goal, never, ever, ever, ever, ever.

But I will get better. I will improve from what I’ve done before. And I will get stronger in every possible way I can, and I will forgive myself for the ways that I can’t. I have a lot of limitations, things I cannot physically or mentally overcome. And I will forgive myself for it. I will. I will.

And I guess, at the end of the day, that’s my point here. That perfection is a lie, that there is no end, that there is only improvement and self-appreciation. APL represents this a lot for me. At 17-18, I still struggled with this so much. I spent all of my high school years riddled with self-hatred and anxiety, wanting to be the best, but riddled with the knowledge that I never would be. I crashed and burned in middle and high school because of this. I was so terrified of never being all I wanted to be that I let myself burn to ash, to give up completely, because that was better in my mind than trying my hardest and failing. I always failed at what I wanted to do, and I was so focused on that supposed ‘failure’ that I failed to see how far I had come. I failed to see that while I wasn’t ’the favorite,’ I was still well liked. I failed to see that while I wasn’t ’the best,’ I was good enough. I was good enough. And I always would be. This is something I didn’t realize at 17-18, not yet.

But I do now. I do now, and TPWP represents that for me in many ways. Perfection in a myth. Unilateral adoration and love is impossible. And no matter what, every time you create you will get a little better, a little better, a little better. And so, the only thing you can do is create. And love what you create. And keep trying no matter what, all so that you can create more in the future and grow. So you can do what you love without fear of failure.

Anyway, this has gone on much longer than anticipated. It was just supposed to be a quick ‘haha look! I succeeded at an old, useless goal! :-D’ But somehow it turned into this. But that’s okay. That’s just who I am. I like to ramble. I like to get my thoughts out there into the world. I’m pretentious and think way too deeply on things that matter to no one else. It matters to me. It matters to me. And it doesn’t matter if no one ever reads this, or if people read it and roll their eyes at my pretension. I wrote this for me, to just get this out there in the world, and at the end of the day, that’s what matters. That’s what’s important. Not what the ‘invisible audience’ in my head screams at me every day.

I hope y’all have a good day. :-)

#Personal post #Oof this got out of hand #I’ve been writing this for over an hour at this point #Ahhhhh #Oh well #Hope someone got something from reading this #But even if not that’s okay. I got something from it

[lcvernat]

Happy New Year!!! 🎆

2023 is quickly approaching, and to celebrate, and welcome the new beginnings why not highlight this years best offerings.

Make a list of ten of your favorite fics to have come out in 2022; offer up five of your own (give or take), and let the rest be from your fellow writers. 🥰

can’t believe it’s almost 2023… nat, tony & steve rlly kick the bucket this year </3

but this is such a cute idea! gonna put a keep reading tho because i ramble and this turned out a lot longer than it probably should’ve been

top 5 of my fics:

1. that stupid red string - i love this series with my whole heart & i love the characters sm. it also got a lot of notes which i am so grateful abt and i was so shocked. maybe i’ll have to revisit these characters again sometime in the future 🤔

2. our tainted love - admittedly this series hasn’t been finished yet (oops) but i’m so excited to write & finish this series i have it all planned out and it’s so JWNDNWNS i love it

3. playing cupid - the second fic i ever posted here wow … it got so many notes and i was so so shocked and so eternally grateful it holds a very special place in my heart & it’s very cute

4. doodles - i’m not joking when i say this was written at 5am neck deep into a writers block but the idea was so cute & even tho i probably could’ve written it better i still love it and it also got a lot of notes which was very shocking because it was my 5am sleep deprived writing

5. i’m sorry - this was lowkey a vent fic so it holds a special place in my heart even tho it’s quite angsty but it felt so good to just write this fic it was actual therapy for me

tbh this was hard i love all of my fics even if i can’t bring myself to reread them LMAO they all mean so much to me tho they’re my babies

top 5 fics:

1. traces of her on paper by @robiin-buckley - i LOVED this fic and oh my god i just love their writing, they’re so insanely talented my fave fic this year is just everything they’ve ever written. just amazing chefs kiss

2. love is for children by loveisanimaginarydagger on ao3 - love love loved this fic it was so good tbh, angsty but great <333 i stayed up all night reading it tbh

3. after the fight by @lightlyblooming - SOOOOO GOOD i need a nat to take care of me pls and thank you. this writer is so insanely good at writing i’m obsessed

4. peekaboo by @alotofpockets - nat with kids always always gets me, this was so adorable and cute it had me kicking my feet and giggling at 3am. loved it

5. it’s cold outside by @dameronology - screaming tbh, amazing writer literally so good and this was so good just amazing tbh

there are so many other talented amazing writers on this site but y’all need to check out these writers if you haven’t already !! absolutely love their fics these are only a select few of all the amazing fics i love

may 2023 bring more amazing fics !!

#asks #anon #fic recs #natasha romanoff x reader

[ellecdc]

This is me reading amwap at 5am:

Really like, James AND Regulus losing their minds over nargles. I lost it when James was like, Oh gods its starting and Reg bringing all his stuff in the hospital wing 🤭

ALSO SIRIUS BEING THE MVP IN THIS CHAPTER! He's such a big brother I want one pls. Keeping everyone together AND spending the morning tracking reader?

THEN finally Jamie and Rem talks and sort everything out, AND Remus finally talking to reader properly

That muggle heart rate monitor? It’d be showing no signal at this point. - startled a laugh out of me that made my cat jump

And also I see a lot of potential with reader dropping more one liners that makes Sirius laugh.

Thanks for helping start my day good, loveyyyy 💓

Oh my fricken god I love youuuu

First of all - why are you awake at 5 am? Remus would be very concerned about your sleeping habits.

Everyone was definitely being silly goose’s this chapter I won’t lie - I’ve never related to Sirius more than this chapter watching him try to deal with everyone. I kinda like how usually James is the mother hen but obvs he’s outta commission rn so Sirius is like “well, someone’s gotta do it.”

Poor rem, i feel for him - I really do. But everyone and their mother was like “mate what were you thinking????” But I’m glad he and James are friends on again - they’re too sweet to stay mad for long.

Tell your cat “pspspspssspsps” and that I’m v sorry for causing you to startle them.

And believe me - reader is gonna be a savage and Sirius will be smitten hahahaa

Have a great day babes!! (We have like 12 hour time difference between us which is so fun for me).

Also I love Shirley temple okay thanks love you byeeeee

#ask elle #elle chats #remus is a man with a plan

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Paradise Circus - Chapter Twenty Two.

Previous chapters - One  Two  Three  Four  Five  Six  Seven  Eight  Nine  Ten  Eleven  Twelve  Thirteen  Fourteen  Fifteen  Sixteen  Seventeen  Eighteen  Nineteen  Twenty  Twenty One

Tag list - In the comments

Words - 2,532

Warnings - 18+ content throughout. NO MINORS, PLEASE!

It was coming up to eleven when Tommy’s cell began to vibrate upon the nightstand, stirring him and Cassie from the slumber they’d been in for the last hour, both seeking an early night since they had 5am starts each in the morning. 

“Who the hell is calling this late?” she mumbled, turning over with a frustrated huff.

“Shit, it’s Darla,” he confirmed, accepting the call. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Tommy, I’m sorry to wake you but I’m panicking! It’s the baby, he hasn’t moved since this afternoon and I’m freaking out!”

“Okay, calm down, don’t freak out,” he began, suddenly feeling a lot more awake. “Are you sure he’s not just sleeping?”

“No, this is his busy time. He’s always active between nine and one and nothing, he isn’t moving around, I can’t feel him wriggling and I’m scared! I’m so scared!”

“I’m coming over, okay? I’ll be there as soon as possible, alright? Hang tight, everything will be fine,” he reassured her, pulling on fresh boxers and his jeans, seeking a t shirt and a hoodie.

“Okay, thank you. I’m so sorry to drag you out at this time,” she replied, her breaths shallow and unsteady.

“Just breathe, sit down and try to keep calm. I’m on my way.” Hanging up, he pulled his clothes on, locating socks, heading back to the bed to kiss Cassie’s head.

“You’re really going over there now?” she complained, sitting up and switching the lamp on.

“I can’t just leave her alone when she’s that stressed out, the baby isn’t moving and according to her, this is his busy time, so I gotta be there, keep her calm, maybe take her to the hospital.”

Cassie nodded, understanding the gravity of the situation now it had been explained, stroking his arm. “Alright, I get it. She shouldn’t be alone, no. I understand. Let me know they’re both okay, though?”

“I will, I’ll text you. Love you.”

“Love you too, baby.” A final kiss and he was gone, grabbing his keys and stuffing his feet into his Timberland’s before heading out into the cold December night, the snow much heavier on the ground than it had been earlier in the evening. It was still drivable, though, thank god. He kept steady on the icy roads, though, not wanting to risk anything and then leave Darla alone and scared because he’d pranged his car, or worse, arriving in just over twenty-five minutes, finding her to be in just the same worked up state as she’d been on the phone.

“Come on, calm down, it’s alright,” he soothed her with, giving her the hug she sought.

“It isn’t, though! He’s just still! I tried prodding my tummy but nope, he isn’t budging! I even played him his songs that he likes to kick along to, but nothing!” she wailed, beginning to cry.  

“Get your coat on, then. You’re not gonna settle until we know for sure that he’s alright, so let’s get you down to the hospital. Put some sturdy boots on, too. It’s slippery out there.” She nodded, drying her eyes and going to change into her fleece lined leggings, putting her Dr Martens and a sweater on before pulling on her wool coat, switching everything off and locking up.  

“I really, really hope he’s just resting, but it’s so unlike him. I usually can’t get to sleep until he’s done, he’s so lively in there. I’m sorry to drag you out,” she spoke as they pulled away from her building, Tommy reaching to stroke her bump.

“You’re fine, I don’t mind at all. I’m glad it was me you called. You guys are my priority over sleep, and you always will be.” She felt teary at being told that, to hear such a pledge from the man she was in love with. He meant the baby more than her, though. After all, he was still going strong with Cassie, the woman she’d likely called him away from, the woman who she resented, but couldn’t help but really like, since she was just so darned lovely. She made Tommy happy, too, and the unselfish part of her was thankful for that, even though of course, he was all she wanted.

After checking in at the hospital they were told there would be a wait, Tommy trying to argue it with the nurse on the desk but being told to calm down, that there was nothing she could so since it wasn’t an emergency.  

“It’s my kid, for Christ's sake! And his mother is fucking terrified, can’t you do something?” he yelled, Darla hanging on his arm and stroking his chest, trying to placate him.

“Sir, if you cannot keep your voice down and your emotions under control, I will have to ask you to leave,” she replied staunchly, Tommy finally yielding as Darla pulled him towards a seat, two young kids of college age watching the scene unfold.  

“So what’s wrong, hic, with, the bhaby? Is it hokay?” one slurred, clearly drunk, holding onto his arm that looked to be broken.

“He isn’t moving,” Darla replied succinctly, not really wanting to be drawn into conversation with someone who was inebriated. He then did something so sweet, her opinion of him changed instantly.

“Exchuse mhe! Can you phut thish lady before mhe? I can wait, umm fine, just a bit, hic, sore! But that’s a bhaby in there, needs a doc more than mhe! Please, phut her in my place!” he stated to the nurse, pointing at her.  

“You can put her before me, too.” A lady from behind them called out, smiling warmly when Darla turned to her.  

“Are you guys sure?” she asked, hardly able to believe the charity of the strangers.

“Absolutely, hon. I think I’m just sprained, went over on the ice in these ridiculous shoes, I did! The baby is much more important than me and my stupid propensity to not take my heels off in the snow!” she chuckled, the drunk guy also piping up again.

“Yes, you go bhefore hus! Little one is, hic, definitely, hic, more imphortanht!”

Tommy thanked them too, the drunk guy recognising him and immediately telling him how awesome he was, he and his slightly less drunk friend explaining they were both on the college wrestling team. Because of their kindness, their wait was only just over half an hour before they were called through, the doctor and Tommy assisting her onto the bed to be checked.  

“Well, I can hear two distinct heartbeats through the stethoscope, so he’s fine, but let me run a quick sonogram as well, just to make sure.”

“See, it’s alright! I told you he was just sleeping,” Tommy stated, stroking her tears away as she began to cry with relief. Her tears only continued to flow when she saw him on the monitor, coupled by the sound of his nice, strong heartbeat coming through.

“Yes, he’s definitely just at rest. It isn’t unusual for them to break their routines sometimes, even if he is usually quite busy late at night. Has he been more active than usual today?” the doctor asked, Darla nodding.

“He has, actually. Oh god, I feel so silly now, like I’ve wasted your time!”

The doctor tutted softly, shaking his head. “You’re a first-time mother, you panicked, it’s only natural. My wife was exactly the same with our first, you’ve wasted no one’s time.”  

“You’ve been a great reassurance, doctor... sorry, I was too busy panicking to remember your name when you called us in,” she confessed, the kindly man smiling again.

“Doctor Opie. You get home and rest now, and if you’re still anxious, make an appointment with your obstetrician. Best of luck, guys.” He departed swiftly, onto the next patient.

“Doctor Opie, huh? Well, if that ain’t a clear sign,” Tommy chuckled as Darla dressed, sliding off the bed and hugging him, feeling comforted by his presence.

“Oh yes, I’d say so!” she confirmed, both jointly stroking their bump, Tommy laying a little kiss to her forehead.

“Come on, let’s get you home.” While walking back along the way they came, instinctively, he grabbed her hand, Darla reciprocating, not letting go until they were back at the car. Once they’d arrived back, Darla got into her pyjamas and made them both a drink, her taking an oat milk hot chocolate and Tommy a coffee, sitting down on the couch.

“Shouldn’t you be heading home? Not to get rid of you or anything,” she commented, Tommy kicking off his boots and getting comfortable.

“Nope, because I know there’s still gonna be a little part of you that’ll stress until he moves again, so I’m staying right where I am. I just text my two morning clients and shifted them to the day after tomorrow, so I’m good. I sent Cassie a text as well explaining that I’m staying here, but I think she’s asleep and hasn’t read it yet,” he told her, Darla nodding and sipping her drink.

“Do you think she’ll be okay with that, after how she was when I met her?”

Tommy shrugged, inclining his head a little. “I don’t care if she isn’t, to be frank. This is my kid, but she’s great, she knows he takes priority. She’s amazing about it all, she’s been helping Meadow and your girls organise this whole baby shower thing they’re throwing for you.”

“Ahh, yeah. I told them I really didn’t mind if I didn’t have one, but they’re all so adamant!” The shower was to be hosted at Tommy’s house in two weeks from then, with him stating he’d hide upstairs away from cooing women for the duration, on account of the fact he had the biggest lounge space out of everyone.  

“I know, it’s nice, though, that they all want to do something for you. I’m still hiding upstairs while it’s going on,” he confirmed, Darla slapping his arm gently.

“Yeah, thanks for that, buddy! Leave me to get covered in ribbons and silly stuff!”

“Oh, they do that to you? I might come down, then.” He grinned, making her laugh, her heart ablaze. God, how she loved him.

“I feel like I should head to bed, but I think I’m still too hopped up on the fear of it all,” she then spoke, Tommy nodding sympathetically.

“Yeah, me too. C’mon, boy. We know you’re fine, but just move a little bit, so me and your mom can calm the hell down again.” Reaching for her bump, he stroked it, leaning to kiss the swell before resting his head against it, swinging his legs up on the end of the couch. “Is this alright?”

“Sure is.” With her heart fluttering, she rested her arm down on his chest, placing her drink down and picking up the remote, loading the streaming service of choice, searching until she found the documentary she wanted to catch up on.  

“Oh, awesome! I’ve been meaning to watch this but Cassie isn’t into it. I love this stuff, it’s so interesting,” he enthused, as the series about the Persian empire began to play.

“You always loved history at school,” she commented, scratching his chest with her nails to enforce her point.  

“Shhh, no yammering!” He whispered, winking and covering her hand with his as he turned back to the television. They stayed up to watch two episodes before going to bed, Tommy hesitating.  

“I trust myself not to do anything, but I dunno, I feel strange, sharing a bed with you,” he admitted, Darla shrugging.  

“You don’t have to, Tommy. Sleep on the couch if you like, but I don’t mind. I can control myself, too. Sex is the very furthest thing from my mind right now!” With that, he decided that simply sleeping next to her couldn’t truly be classed as an indiscretion, although he knew Cassie likely wouldn’t be pleased about it. Something within him simply wanted to be close to his kid, and if he admitted it, their mother, too. He wasn’t about to admit that part, though.  

They got in, Darla piling on the throw blankets atop the comforter, the bedroom cold since the heating had turned off hours before, both settling down, Tommy asleep way before her. She tossed and turned, unable to get comfortable, still a little uneasy about the fact her son was yet to stir.  

“Just try and rest. Close your eyes, and before you know it, you’ll have tiny feet booting the shit out of your ribs, of he’ll be headbutting you in the bladder,” Tommy said after waking, putting his arm around her to rest a hand on her bump.

“Yeah, he does enjoy that.” she whispered back, getting comfortable, placing her hand atop his.  

It was somewhere close to four in the morning when little Opie Conlon-Cooke decided to move at last, wiggling against the loving press of his parent’s hands, absolutely none the wiser to how much they’d feared for him in the hours before.  

#tom hardy #tom hardy fanfiction #tom hardy fanfic #tom hardy fic #tom hardy sm #tom hardy x ofc #tom hardy x oc #tom hardy x black oc #tommy conlon #tommy conlon smut #tommy conlon fanfiction #tommy conlon fanfic #tommy conlon fic #warrior #warrior fanfiction #warrior fanfic #warrior fic #warrior smut

[ruthytwoshakes]

Howdy everybody!

it’s June! What! It was March yesterday I think,,,, urgurgh

But actually wait this is super exciting!! I’m out of my depressive slump which means I get to use the rest of June to prepare for artfight!

I’ll still be posting here, but it’ll be just my preparations + artfight attacks until August. I’ll be tagging everything with “Daffys Artfight 2023” so if you don’t want to see soooooo many skeletons and my cool swag characters than block that tag babey B)) and I’ll see you in August with more tf2!

And since I am very much developing a special interest with tf2, I’ll be doing attacks on tf2 ocs! If you want to attack me and draw my little meow meow Glider, than I’ll love you forever and ever and draw your little guy too teehee

Alrighty! Here’s the breakdown for this years artfight:

Until July 1st, I’ll be redesigning, updating, and writing my characters + (hopefully) posting about them on here! Also I’ll be bookmarking characters during this time, so send me your little guys during this time >B)

When the teams are decided I’ll make sure to use the templates that go along with it and finally edit my profile lol.

Every year for artfight, I do a mass attack with a bunch of skeleton characters! Last year was about 70, this year I’m planning to do 100 and actually finish it this time! As soon as artfight starts I’ll begin planning out my sketch and working on editing a nice little speedpaint for you all.

If I’m able too, I’d love to start a chain with someone and give my characters some friends! Last year I did one with Sam, my most littlest guy, and it was super fun!! (I’ve also got a lot more characters this year that I’ve been wanting to flesh out hehehe)

And that’s about it! I’ll add on some art I’ve been working on below

Here’s the personification of my process of creating characters! That’s a mouthful though, so he’s just called the Creator. Silly guy. As old and as young as time itself. Fuzzy.

Here’s some WIP character designs! I’m struggling a bit for inspiration on the top two, but fuck it we ball.

Thank you for reading! And I hope to see ya there! (My user is DaffoDuck) or https://artfight.net/~DaffoDuck

Well howdy again,, did you think there was secrets down here?? Because there is MUHAHAHA

here’s some tf2 plans and progress for my ongoing projects

The tf2 horror thing I’ve been working on! Sure have been working on it! Most definitely my most bodacious dude. H. I’m just mainly struggling with the bigger meaning of it,, got the plot all done,,,, now gotta somehow make it anti-capitalist. I gotta go analyze some more horror stories,, gotta go back to the scp phase.

I absolutely adore the child mercs that people have come up with, so I wanted to try my hand at it! I’ve got a real fun story going on, and I’m involving the classic mercs! I’ve changed them up quite a bit though because they’re much younger in this, and teachers,, hehheheh. Basically I stuck them all in a summer camp,, imagine LumberJanes and Gravity Falls with tf2 humor. Kinda terrifying when I write it out

OOOOO IM ALMOST DONE WITH A REALLY COOL THING!!!! I just need to finishing a little bit of writing but I’m almost done with my take on a class swap! As far as I can remember it goes like this: Heavy is Medic, Medic is Heavy, Sniper is Scout, Scout is Sniper, Pyro is Demoman, Demoman is Pyro, Spy is Soldier, Soldier is Engineer, Engineer is Spy. GHHRGRRRRR IM SO FUCKING EXCITED

I have a lot more but I forgor because it’s 5am in the fucking evening what oh my god goodnight!!!!!!! SHIT,!!!!!

#artfight 2023 #artfight #artfight prep #Daffys Artfight 2023 #character art #oc artist #character design #character illustration #character concept #daffys drawings #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

[captain-gillian]

we make a pretty good team, don't we?

1614 words. rated t.

summary:

TK and Carlos are flying for the first time since the day of Gwyneth’s funeral but will it go to plan this time?

For the @tarlos-week-2022 day 2 prompt, ‘Do you need that much luggage?’

Nancy has been roped into driving TK & Carlos to the airport. To her surprise, they’re already bickering as she pulls up to their building.

‘Do you need that much luggage? I thought you were only going for the weekend?’ She asks with a raised eyebrow as they walk over to her car. They each wear a backpack, and TK wheels a carry-on suitcase in each hand while Carlos pulls a third suitcase behind him.

‘Thank you, Nancy! That’s exactly what I said,’ TK says to her, earning a glare from his fiancé.

‘Do we need that much luggage? Yes. First of all, half this luggage is filled with presents you bought for Jonah.’ Carlos begins, his voice even and calm, though TK can practically see the stress radiating off him.

‘It’s his first birthday; I can’t very well show up empty-handed, Carlos.’ TK says.

‘TK, I’m not saying you can’t bring a present or two. Just that maybe we didn’t need to buy out the entire toy store.’ Carlos replies, his voice growing irritated.

‘You say that like half of these aren’t from you. Besides, we have so much luggage because you packed what seems to be our entire wardrobe for one weekend.’ TK shoots back.

‘TK, I’ve never been to New York before. I’ve no idea what the weather will be like or how predictable it is. I just want us to be prepared for any scenario.’ Carlos says as he loads the first bag into Nancy’s trunk.

‘Oh, we’ll be prepared,’ TK says before turning to Nancy and adding. ‘We have so many clothes they didn’t all fit in the checked bag.’

‘That’s intentional, TK. You put a change of clothes in your carry-on in case they lose your checked bag.’ Carlos tells him as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

‘Dudes, as much as I enjoy watching you bicker like an old married couple, shouldn’t we get going?’ Nancy asks, glancing at the time on her phone.

read more on ao3 or under the cut

‘Oh, don’t worry, we have time. Tell Nancy when the flight is, babe.’ TK says, turning to shoot a pointed look at Carlos while anxiously tugging at his hoodie sleeve.

‘TK, I don’t think getting there a little early can hurt.’ Carlos says as he runs a hand through his curls. TK can see him growing more frustrated by the minute, but god he’s cute when he’s frustrated.

‘A little early? Babe, our flight doesn’t leave for five hours!’ TK replies, unable to hide his exasperation. It’s not that he doesn’t understand, because he does. He gets why Carlos is so stressed about being in control of every little detail for this trip and why he wants to be prepared for absolutely any scenario. But, the thought of sitting in that airport all those hours with nothing to do but dwell on the last time he was there makes him want to crawl out of his skin.

‘Five hours? Dude, that’s so much time to kill in the airport. Do you wanna stop for breakfast on the way?’ Nancy asks, closing the trunk now that Carlos has loaded the three suitcases.

‘I think that’s a great idea, Nancy. Our treat.’ TK says. He’s been craving a coffee since Carlos woke him at 5am as he paced the loft anxiously, triple checking they’d packed anything they could possibly need. As a shift worker, he’s no stranger to early wake-ups, but this was one day where he’d counted on a few extra hours of sleep to get through the day.

‘Can’t we just grab something at the airport?’ Carlos asks, and TK shakes his head.

‘Are you sure I have enough for Jonah’s birthday?’ TK asks as Nancy drives them to the nearby IHOP to get breakfast.

‘Enough? What else could you have possibly bought? All he’s going to care about is seeing his big brother.’ Carlos tells him reassuringly, taking his hand.

‘Well, there was that fire station doll house.’

‘TK, we talked about this. It’s bigger than our suitcase. It just wasn’t going to work.’ says Carlos.

‘We could have shipped it…,’ TK trails off with a despondent look.

‘It would have cost as much as the thing cost in the first place to ship it, if not more!’ Carlos says, throwing his hands in the air in frustration.

‘Alright, alright. I thought I signed up to drive you two love birds to the airport, not play couples counsellor.’ Nancy says in an attempt to diffuse the tension.

They buy themselves and Nancy breakfast at IHOP on their way to the airport, and while having some food and some coffee helps TK to feel less anxious about the flight ahead, it has the opposite effect on Carlos.

‘Breathe, baby,’ TK whispers to Carlos, taking hold of his tense hand as they walk to Nancy’s car.

The rest of their drive goes smoothly, and it doesn’t take long to thank Nancy and get checked in for their flight. Once they make it through the TSA line, TK sees the tension melt away from Carlos. One hour down, only four to go, he thinks to himself.

Neither TK nor Carlos could face the thought of flying coach after TK’s most recent experience, but the upside was their costly business class fares did come with lounge access.

‘I am never flying coach again.’ TK says as they take in the lounge, his eyes settling on the complimentary buffet.

‘See, I told you we didn’t need to get breakfast on the way.’ Carlos says with a smirk.

‘I’m still hungry,’ TK says with a shrug, getting himself a pain au chocolat from the selection of pastries. Carlos rolls his eyes.

As they sit together, watching the planes take off and land outside the window, TK almost forgets what happened the last time he was on a plane. But, any chance of forgetting is lost when a passenger at a nearby table collapses. In a split second, their bags and TK’s pastries are abandoned, and they’re on their feet, racing over to help.

‘Help, please. My daddy isn’t getting up.’ A young girl calls out with a shaky voice.

‘Hi, I’m Carlos. I’m a policeman, and this is my fiancé, TK; he’s a paramedic. We’re going to help your dad.’ Carlos says, crouching down to introduce himself to the terrified girl. She can’t be more than 10 years old.

‘Call 9-1-1.’ TK directs Carlos, but he’s already dialling.

TK crouches down and assesses the patient. ‘I’m not getting a pulse. Starting compressions,’ TK says, scanning his surroundings as he starts CPR on the man.

‘Dispatch, this is off-duty patrol officer 363-H20. I’m at Austin Bergstrom international airport, in the delta lounge, with an unresponsive male, 40s, in cardiac arrest. CPR has been commenced.’

‘Carlos? I’m dispatching units now. Is TK with you? Do you need me to stay on the line?’ Grace asks.

‘Is there an AED in this terminal?’ TK asks a delta staff member, and they race off in search of it.

‘TK is here. He’s commenced CPR and asked for an AED. So we won’t tie up the line.’ Carlos says.

The delta staff person comes back with the AED. Before TK gets the words out to request it, Carlos crouches beside TK and opens the man’s shirt to apply the defibrillator pads. In situations like this– which they seem to find themselves in a little too often for TK’s comfort– TK is glad they can communicate so efficiently and predict the others’ needs before they voice them.

‘CLEAR.’ TK shouts, halting compressions as the device delivers a shock to the unresponsive man.

‘I’ve got a pulse!’ TK shouts as the man regains consciousness.

‘Do you have someone else I can call for you?’ Carlos asks the young girl who sits nearby, now clutching a teddy bear she’s pulled from her backpack.

‘My mom.’ The girl replies shakily.

‘Do you know your mom’s number?’ He asks, and the girl nods proudly.

It feels like hours have passed by the time Carlos gets in contact with the mother and paramedics arrive to transport the patient, but in reality, it’s been mere minutes.

‘We make a pretty good team.’ Carlos whispers to TK as they walk back to the table where they left their bags and TK’s half-eaten pastry.

‘We really do, don’t we?’ TK responds, taking Carlos’ hand in his own.

They haven’t worked side by side in a situation as high stakes as this one since a solar storm struck Austin in the middle of their date, and for the most part, TK is glad. When they work together, it’s usually because there’s been a disaster on their day off. But, sometimes, he finds himself wishing they could work together more often. Carlos only has basic first aid training, but he anticipates TK’s needs and next moves better than any partner he’s ever had.

‘Afraid so.’ Carlos says, smirking at his fiancé.

‘I’m glad you’re here.’ TK says with a wistful smile as they sit hand in hand, watching the airplanes take off. He can’t help but think back to the night of the solar storm, lying on the hood of his car with his now fiancé watching the northern lights. Their trip may not be off to the peaceful start he’d had in mind, but here with the love of his life by his side, he doesn’t mind.

‘I know, but next time we need to travel, can we please take a road trip instead? Or a train? Anything that isn’t an airplane? Carlos replies.

‘We can indeed. I’ve had enough air travel adjacent disasters to put me off flying for life.’

#911 lone star #9-1-1 lone star #carlos reyes #tk strand #tarlos #fanfiction #my writing #my fic #ao3 #cross posted #9-1-1 lone star fic #timezones are so confusing idk if it's the 27th everywhere yet but im posting anyway #tarlosweek2022

[pennyserenade]

here’s a little tragic something i wrote about javi p. because i didn’t want to do my homework yet. tw ptsd and mention of blood 

it shouldn’t feel the way it does, like a heavy stone in the bottom of his stomach. if life was at all fair, he’d be able to carry it with him like those fucks in washington, with all the swelling pride in their chests and the ability to look people in the eye and tell them about their ‘good work’ with the means to truly believe it. his comes in different, various shapes, but never like that. no, colombia settles on him like a nightmare he’s yet to get over; the heavy cloud that’s about to spill over and drown an unsuspecting town; the wound that’s been infected and left untreated. he used to feel sorry for men like that, but now that he’s one of them he doesn’t feel so sorry. it is a burden brought on by yourself; something you gather by cashing in on american heroism and patriotism only to find somewhere down the road that all the heroes are little more than flag waving liars. even the best of them, with the good intentions, they’re just like him. how many people had he lead to their deaths? could he count them on just one hand, or did he need two? 

two. javier remembers. time doesn’t erase things like that. the stone settles at the bottom of his stomach and it reminds him that two of his hands are needed to count the deaths of those he failed. even in the best of situations, blood on your hands is still blood. an eye for an eye though, right? that’s what they tell themselves, those better able to cope with what they’ve done than he is. he wished it worked like that. wished he could understand it like they did, but it wasn’t like that - it wasn’t at all like that. 

he remembers a man like him named prew. prewitt. he was a character in a movie he’d seen passingly, in a dream like state that occupies the body in the hours between 2am and 5am. prew was a young kid with too much ambition and too much pride. he wanted for the whole goddamn world and he wanted it honestly, and god only knows that those things never happen like that, no matter how good you are. if you want anything much too badly, life has a way of taking it from you. and so, prew died in a ditch the night of pearl harbor, in the least honest way a person could imagine. he was meant to be a solider but he died a fugitive, a runaway - and for why? just because he wanted to play the game honest when none of the other players wanted to? why could he, javier, see how foolish it was when it was presented like that, but never when it was himself dying in that ditch? why did it feel so honest when it was your own  pride chipping away at you? why did being alive feel so tragic, so terrible, still? why could he only count his ten fingers and why’d that goddamn stone get heavier instead of lighter? why couldn’t he just be like the others, rejoicing what he had done and not mopping about what he couldn’t accomplish? why, why, why?

“javier,” mrs. rivera says, a touch of concern in her elderly voice. she grabs his wrist and he looks down at her hand. her fingers are cold and bony like his grandma’s used to be. “are you alright?”

he smiles. “just got caught up thinking,” he mutters. this is how life works now: little pity parties in the middle of the shopping marts. “do you need help with something?”

the concern hasn’t faded from her eyes, he can see, but she moves on with him, understanding better than he that life is unfair and the worst battles can be the mental ones. he reminds her of her late husband, that’s why she had stopped. her husband had went to war a little after they were married, and he had came home just like that, maybe a tad bit worse. "can you grab me that can of soup off the top shelf? i could do it but you’re much taller.”

“sure,” he says, gladly. he is glad. being useful helps. “here you are, mrs. rivera.”

“thank you, javier. you’ve always been a kind young man.”

have i? he thinks as she leaves him in the aisle, standing between the canned goods and the chips.

#misc.

[notanathleteslungs]

So I broke down and listened to Hadestown again, and something that keeps striking me is that Orpheus and Hades are juxtaposed (am I using that right?) against each other. Orpheus says it outright in Epic 3: Hades WAS like Orpheus. But he let his own doubts cloud his mind and, god magic, I imagine it completely changed him. He went from this high tenor seeing hope everywhere to the lowest bass shaking the earth and only relying on what he has done and can do himself.

It’s kind of the same with Persephone and Eurydice, but I think they’re compliments instead of mirrors or opposites. Persephone was completely in love with Hades, but he changed and she didn’t know how to handle it, so she drank. Eurydice knew what she was getting into and it might have been hard when winter came and she was finding food and fire for the both of them all by herself, but she SAW what Orpheus was doing and knew it was worth finishing. In the end, she doesn’t care that he can give what he promised her in Wedding Song, she just wants to be with him.

We have these two couples set against each other: the old couple who might need a bit of therapy to work out their issues, and the young couple who went in with eyes wide open, endured their tests, and were ready to walk out with complete faith in each other.

That might be why Orpheus giving in to his doubts and turning back is even more heartbreaking. He went to the Underworld, endured beatings, and stood up to the King of the Dead for the woman he loved. After all that, he still lost faith in her and lost her. I found a bootleg recording on YouTube of an early performance and the emotion when Eurydice is still trying to get back to Orpheus in the tunnel made me want to cry. She had complete faith in him and I think that snapped him out of it. There was kind of an Oh Shit What Did I Just Do as he just sits there before walking out of the tunnel. It’s a sad thought, but I think after they died, we have two outcomes: the Fates punished him for his doubts by never letting him see Eurydice again, or they were reunited in death.

Or a third that plays in my head sometimes: thanks to Percy Jackson there’s the thing with reincarnation. I know in the books it’s for heroes who died well to try for the Isles of the Blest. What if Hermes swayed Hades and let Orpheus and Eurydice reincarnate? Aphrodite might have had a hand there too.

I don’t know, it’s after 9PM, I woke up with a migraine at 2AM, and I wake up at 5AM for work, this just wouldn’t leave me alone.

#Hadestown #pjo #Greek mythology #I don’t know where else to put this #not proof read beyond Did My Phone Change In to I’m Again Or Not Correct A Typo #I welcome discourse as long as it’s not You’re Dead Wrong #I just want to know what other people think

[hotchley]

🐨 Welp, the kids infected me with a cold that I’m pretty sure is actually the plague. Honestly, who knows if it was even the kids. I tend to get colds in the summer when I’m doing a lot with little energy like I have been lately. It’s happened at the last three camps I’ve worked at/attended. But we’re hanging in there! Two camps this week—one is tiny and space-themed, which I’m thrilled about, and one is a giant group of almost entirely boys. They are chaos personified.

Here are some things the kids have said to me in the past week!

“Do you know when the song *sings It’s The End of The World by REM* came out? 1999!”

“I woke up early for camp!” Upon me asking what time she got up, she revealed that she woke herself and her mom up at 5am. For a 12 o’clock camp.

“I’m eight, turning ten soon!”

And my personal favorite—

“Nanny: What do you say to Miss Kate?

Child: *runs up to me, leans into my face, and burps*

Me: …I don’t think that’s what your nanny had in mind, buddy

Child: It’s exactly what I had in mind!”

Yeah, they’re insane. We’re having fun though! Mostly. Last week a kid lost a tooth, which she was thrilled about. Another girl got stung by a bee, which she was not thrilled about. Thank goodness for the first aid app on my phone.

The kids can be rowdy, but we’ve had almost more trouble with parents. One yelled at us for not having enough staff because apparently it’s illegal to have three staff for twenty-five kids for a two hour camp (it is not, in fact, illegal. Also, we work for the government. The government made the roster, not us.) An old man told me we should put a sign up because I asked him not to walk into the park building to use the bathrooms. We do, in fact, have a sign up. Another old man was hovering outside the park building for a solid hour and got mad at me for being suspicious of him. Like, sorry sir, but you’re lingering around a building full of small children, none of whom are yours. Of course I’m keeping an eye on you.

We figured out how to braid beads into our little girls’ hair at an all girls camp last week, so those moms loved us. A bunch of them watched me do it cause they wanted to learn.

So yeah, that’s life around here! My older brother’s girlfriend is visiting again on Friday, which I’m very excited for! It’s been too long since we’ve ganged up on him. And on Sunday, I leave for my karate trip! 16 hour drive, woo! Should be very fun though. Lots of cool training, and all the people from my dojo are sharing a cabin that been dubbed by my father as “the party cabin”. My dad can’t come cause of work, so I’m flying solo. Which means I can buy tons of Kraft mac and cheese when we stop at the gas station to microwave at the cabin!

Oh no... being infected with children's colds is the worst. I remember when we stopped being in bubbles and I immediately got unwell it's awful! I get colds when I cry and my eyes start hurting when I rub them so... the space-themed camp sounds great! I love chaotic children because I'm only with them for a few minutes but a whole camp... that's going to be a lot...

All of those are so random I love kids! One of the kids at the library told the lady she was speaking to that she liked Shakespeare and Jeff Kinney (she was talking about the simplified and designed for children ones but still!)

One of my kids was showing me all of their favourite poems, and another was really shy- she was adorable- so I went: Do you want to tell Daddy and I'll just sit here and listen? And then immediately cringed because normally I say: give this to your adult okay? Since different kids come with different people and etc. Luckily it was her dad but in the moment... so awkward... he called me the nice young lady though which was sweet and made me smile.

Ah yes, losing teeth in public was always an experience! I hope the girl was okay :( also what's the app? I feel like it's a useful thing to have on you (she says, despite failing her CPR training)

Oh god, it's a universal experience then? I only deal with the children but the actual library worker was saying that it's the adults who cause the most problems... although 25 kids to 3 adults sounds so overwhelming! I remember when I was in primary school- so up to 11, it was 1 adult to every 5-6 children! Yes, that man does sound a bit suspicious... AHH when they don't read!! We have a sign telling parents where to go- it can be missed- and a lot are so apologetic when they miss it, but a few are just like: oh. And it's like: we're making YOUR life easier...

Awww, that's so sweet, I'm glad it happened!

Yess for the alliance, it's my favourite thing! Oooh karate trip! That sounds like so much fun! I'm very excited for you and you'll need to tell me everything that happens <3

#people talk to me #koala kate #🐨anon

[how-to-do-it-better]

Wild Pregnancy Sex

 Weird Hormones and suppressed fetishes can make expecting, a delight.

By various parents. Listen to the podcast at How To Sex.

A young and frisky married couple is contemplating having a baby. They’re seeking advice on lots of things, but the question that came to us is;

“What is sex like, during pregnancy and after?

Some details are straight-forward and answers are easy. Like;

It’s rare for an obstetrician to recommend any limits on sexual intercourse, and in those rare situations, Couples can utilize their other means of sexually satisfying each other’s cravings.

What a medical professional can’t tell you, is how your morning sickness and late term discomfort will take a toll on your libido. And then there are other hang-ups, like knowing your child is fractions of an inch from where daddy’s parts are rubbing mommy’s parts.

Pregnancy does amazing things to a woman’s complexion, and bustline. That usually draws her man’s attention. But the last weeks of pregnancy have common discomforts. But after delivery, her vagina needs a break for about 6 weeks.  Couples sometimes have to put effort into getting back in the grove of sexual intimacy, only this time a baby can interrupt anything.

So it’s especially important to have great sex before a seasonal post-partum drought hits your sex life.

Well, we’re going to give you lots of perspectives, for couples who’ve been through this unique phase. Enjoy! Here’s what some experienced folks said;

First trimester it sucked. I was chronically sick, didn’t feel sexy, couldn’t orgasm , it was horrible. Second trimester a switch flipped , my vagina became engorged with blood , I feel tighter , hornier , wetter. I want my man now. I’m just blessed I have a homey who goes through this crazy cycle with me because now it feels so good and I can’t get enough of him but the first trimester sucked

InternalLevel

 Fun. It forced my wife and me to explore a lot of new positions and techniques. I also got a lot better at oral because toward the end of pregnancy that was the easiest way for her to have an orgasm due to being limited to only a few positions.

Adventurous_Mind

 With my first pregnancy it was great. I wanted to do it a lot of the time and could climax with just penetration what until that point had never happened before. Eventually, by week 34, PGP kicked in and there was nothing until 6-8 weeks after my c-section.

My third pregnancy was the opposite, I had severe morning sickness/nausea till week 15-16, then hardly had any sex drive till week 25 when I had a persistant pelvic pain and it was physically impossible to do it anymore. I can count on one hand how many times we had sex between finding out I was pregnant at 3 weeks gestation till 20 weeks after my c-section.

Complete Honesty

 When my woman was pregnant - it was top tier sex. I Would recommend, if you’re partner is down for it!

Raven heart

 I was in the mood all the time with all 5 of my pregnancies. The drawback is, after I had each one; my libido went on an extended vacation for a years or so, so I’d have to fake it, fake interest, fake the orgasms, all of it.

Then with pregnancies 4 and 5, each orgasm would cause my uterus to contract, even at 6 weeks pregnant it happened, making me not really want the orgasms. Odd shit

boys mom

 I was in Japan for much of the pregnancy of our first son. I was home for our 2nd son’s pregnancy. I think I'd rather have been back in Japan! The wifey was insatiable! Monday thru Friday, at 5am, wham bam thank you ma'am!

5 Pm, wham bam thank you ma'am. On the weekends, it was thrice per day. Same with our third, a baby girl!

done good

 I Dunno. I guess I was too gross for my hubby to even want it. He never tried. But the do-it-yourself release was epic.

Automatic_Plant

 It was Tiring when she got a high sex drive spell. Oh, God! She had a honey spell for a whole week. I was right tired all week

Prairie Chocolate

 Didn’t have it, husband stayed the fuck away from me, we only did it a few times during pregnancy and it was awful, especially at the end when trying to go into labor, I felt like a beached whale

Creep in cupcake

 Best sex of our marriage, her sex drive finally matched mine, she gets a little thicker, her breast are engorged and plump, and I could leave it in and fall asleep. Its probably why we had 4 kids, now that I think about it.

Definition Primary

 Once I hit the second trimester, I was a total horn dog!

Plenty_Trouble

 Pretty bad honestly. We tried once or twice but I had this mental block that I could hurt her or the baby, even though I know it's very unlikely. Some people have a pregnancy fetish or aren't bothered by it at all; but I'm not one of those people. Made me feel super guilty whenever my wife was horny.

neil

 Some of the best sex I’ve had. The only time I’ve ever gushed.

spagooter and mash

 My wife and I were going at it constantly, almost every day!

 Anonymous

 My libido is a little higher. Although during the later months of pregnancy some positions are off the table.

Boog Tot

 You can nut in her as much as you want!

Fire

 Much, much better until that last trimester. Then it was a struggle, uncomfortable, and orgasms gave me terrible Braxton hicks. But yeah, for those first two trimesters; cannot get enough.

almost always except

 Wife is pregnant with twins. She's more horny than she's ever been. Amazing sex!

mario z

 It Depends.

With the First pregnancy, first trimester sucked, second one was great, third, I was horny as hell but sex hurt so bad. So I basically kept dragging my husband into the bedroom, convincing him I would be ok, and then regretting it once we started .

With the Second pregnancy, first trimester was ok, but second and third were phenomenal. I dunno what happened, but all the stars aligned and my libido was only beaten by my newfound sensitivity. Husband had a blast too.

Goose G

 Unfortunately, almost non-existent with my partner. Lots of masturbation

One Curious Yogi

 The positions were hard but it honestly feels so much better after I got pregnant and had the baby.

Couldn't understand what the hype was about before.

Not that it didn't feel good before either, just wasn't nearly as good as it is now.

Flat worm

 Absolutely best! She had this extra blood flow down there and as a result all the labia and all that were way more puffy than usual. The sensation was phenomenal!

mg macius

 Non existent. He refused to do it.

And then would lay next to me when he thought I was asleep and jerk off.

I was so huge I couldn't even touch myself so I was just miserable both pregnancies.

Chemical_Reality

 My wife is always really shy and would tell me the next day that she wanted to wake me up in the middle of the night and make love. I kept saying “why didn’t you?”

mighty jor

 It was great, and I swear having sex like every day, or every other day throughout the pregnancy, is what kept me from having any tearing when I gave birth both times.

 Until the last two weeks before I gave birth, then it got super painful so we had to stop then. But otherwise it’s wonderful. I also was not a squirter before I ever got pregnant. And then after I got pregnant with my first baby, I started squirting and I’m thankful that was something that stuck around after the pregnancy.

Capital_Search

 I loved it. I already like curvy women which my wife is. So all the extra curves that come with pregnancy, drove me wild. Super sweet as well.

norml enough

 I considered myself to have a higher-than-average sex drive prior to pregnancy, so my husband and I were curious just how horny I’d be once I was pregnant given what I’d heard from other women.

Turns out: not horny at all. Libido went back to baseline within a month postpartum, thank god, but I had less than no interest in sex during pregnancy. My husband also thought my pregnant body was super sexy, so that was a pretty big bummer for him

c dubs b

 During my wife's first pregnancy, I wanted nothing to do with it once she got a bigger belly, not because she wasn't attractive, more just fear. She basically had to pin me down a few times and beg me to do it.

tim 28

 I always felt like I had to pee. Even if I just peed. It’s like my bladder was being squeezed from both sides. Honestly not ideal.

Human 420

 From a man’s perspective; it was weird, but for some reason my woman was 10 times more beautiful when she was pregnant, almost like her skin had a certain glow, hard to explain.

 I was very happy about becoming a father, but regarding sex; I wasn't exactly thrilled all the time, when she wanted it.

 But with her hormones going amok i didn't mind too much, plus getting her to the point of orgasm was a lot easier when she wasn't pregnant. I barely had to do anything.

Well Okay

 I was super horny during my third pregnancy. Around month 3-4 we were going at it and I started bleeding. After a call into the doc she said get to the er and get checked out. They did an internal ultrasound and it took forever to find the heartbeat. We thought we’d lost the baby. It traumatized my husband a lot. They found the heartbeat thankfully and all was well, but we had to take a break from sex for a while.

Once I was given the all clear to go ahead again by my doctor, husband didn’t want to have sex at all during pregnancy. The final 5 months of pregnancy and the 6-8 weeks after, waiting for my post-partum check-up and birth control to kick in was fucking torture for me.

It took a year and a half after she was born to get our sex routine back to normal.

Paranormal_Shithole

 Yea, my wife was super horny all the time. While it was awesome, it actually almost broke my penis. I had to ask my Commanding Officer if we were going to the field anytime soon, so I could give my Peter a rest.

I was gone two weeks for field exercises, (I’m a Marine) worst mistake of my life.

 She jumped my bones not even 10 secs into getting home from 2 weeks out in the desert of California. I had to wrestle her off me so I could at least go shower first. She joined me in the shower.

Then I didn't get any electrolytes for the next 6 hrs. My tummy was rumbling, and she didn't care. I swear by the next morning I looked like a corpse.

Don’t let a heavy pregnant woman ride cowgirl at high-speed, bucking bronco fury! One slip on the drop and Peter goes to E R.

Papa Marine

 It varied each pregnancy. We had amazing ones with lots of orgasms.

And one pregnancy where it hurt literally so bad that we had to stop doing it all together, for like 4 months in a row!

Oh, and in the end, I had one position; the ‘stranded whale’ position. Ya know, where you’re so big you can’t do any positions other than looking like a stranded whale!

Bubbly-Butterfly

 My ex-wife was not interested in sex while pregnant with both of our kids.

After a while she just wasn’t into sex at all; So maybe it wasn’t the pregnancy’s fault?

I think I could count the times we had pregnant sex on one hand. I took care of myself a lot during that time.

I’m not trying to get anyone else pregnant, these days

flock-of-bagels

 I ended up with an even higher sex drive than usual. Amazing until I got to 36 weeks; and then overnight, everything got so uncomfortable, it became a complete impossibility to have penatrative sex.

Key-Statistician

 First pregnancy my wife was super horny and I wasn't really. Second pregnancy was the opposite.

Sad story.

francesco

 I’m currently 7 months along. In my 1st trimester, I didn’t want much sex because of the nausea.

But from roughly 14 weeks or so to the present, I crave my hubby constantly. The sex is amazing!

I happen to want it more in the middle of the night, or mornings, or both!

Hubby had to set a time limit of acceptable times to wake him up during the night though; so he is able to go back to sleep before work. Which I respect .

Palpitation Future

 My wife was a sex maniac. Plus, I didn't have to pull out before the blast of jizz. Best 9 months of my life!

ian j

 At 39 weeks, I miss sex but I have no drive, which is just as well because the last time we did (like, a month or two ago), it was so uncomfortable I couldn't get there. And I'm even more swollen and sore now.

I can't wait for this to be over, I keep telling the baby, "Get out!"

lynn

 It was amazing. Preggo boobs are the best! Pregnancy with my girlfriend enhanced our sex life. Her hormones were all fucked up so she wanted it a lot and I was thinking; “Hey, I don't have to pull out anymore.” Life was good.

Mortico

 With my first pregnancy, sex was great. The hormones made everything more intense and certain positions worked easily until quite late in the pregnancy.

I was hoping to repeat the experience in my second pregnancy; but having a toddler to care for while growing a second one, made me so tired that my husband barely ever saw me awake after the first kid fell asleep.

 I don't have many memories from my third pregnancy, to be honest.

jan in am

 For some reason my wife wanted it all the time while pregnant. I think more for “I’m still sexy validation than anything.”

 Another thing, sex was fine but her cunt had a different smell, not bad but different. Sorta like I had a ‘fill-in’ sex kitten.

bemest

 We're about 6 months along at this point, and my husband hasn't been able to even contemplate sex since we found out. He's a bit over-protective of the fetus. He doesn't like it when I poke my belly because the baby mightn't like that. I'll occassionally admit to him I'm sexually frustrated, and he agrees he is a bit, too. But he just can't. He explains he knows everyone says it's safe, but what if? Would you ever forgive yourself if something happened to the baby because of sex? Just not worth it.

HaveFetusNotSex

 My wife is pregnant right now. The sex is great other than dodging the baby bump.

Most men find their wife to be just as, or even more beautiful when they are pregnant.

Plus it’s always amazing to not have to, ah, pull out.

Boose

 Sucks, to be honest. My orgasms caused immense pain, Braxton Hicks and a very hard stomach from a very angry baby in my uterus.

 Worst thing is, I'm so fucking horny all the time, but I have no interest in dealing with all the suffering during and afterwards.

It's hard to find an angle that doesn't hurt, and the gunk that comes out over the next few days is absolutely disgusting and worrisome.

Plus, I’m too heavy and bulky. I can't find the right position. I get tired and sore too quickly.

Pristine Princess

 My wife was super horny up until 3rd trimester.

5 stars, Product surpassed expectations, service was amazing, and she came faster than expected! Yes, I would reorder, and recommend to others!

Maleficent-Lion

 I think we actually triggered labor. I was full term, as it all started about 6 hours post coitus.

I'm sure I read somewhere that women who have had frequent orgasms while pregnant, tend to have more efficient labors, as it gives the uterus a bit of a contraction workout. Not to mention the strengthening of your pelvic floor muscles, to help with labor and the recovery.

Anonymous

 I’m the guy, and my girlfriend is preggers with #2.

Man! Her fucking is absolutely amazing. Her cunt has always been wet, don't get me wrong; but as I'm fucking her now. She will literally spurt her female juices all over me, and the bed. Her orgasms are so much more intense.

2Leauxkey

 I had zero interest in sex while pregnant. My body honestly didn’t feel like my own, and being pregnant felt terrible for 99% of the pregnancy.

We did it when I was trying to naturally induce labor, but it felt kinda like a chore. My man also felt a little weird about poking baby even though he knows it’s irrational. So neither of us were really revving to go.

hopefully romantic

 With my ex-wife, after the morning sickness passed, we were in the bedroom the moment that I got home from work everyday. Into the 3rd trimester, I couldn’t keep her off of me. Although, I did have to switch my deodorant, because it was making her nauseous.

Sadly, we split up. Now she’s with another guy and in her 2nd pregnancy.

She told me that the guy she’s with won’t touch her. He called her fat and ugly. His loss, I guess.

Rude_Device

 My husband just hates preggo sex. it was HELL on us for our first baby. I was ravingly hormonal and my sex drive was insane. and he basically ran and hid whenever he knew i was in the mood, or turned me down. I was distraught a lot.

He never could really explain it; muttered stuff like he didn’t like the belly in the way, or he was not attracted to the shape, or I was heavy.

He admitted that even though he knew it was safe, it was just too weird for him.

I think stress kills his sex drive and he was stressed about becoming a dad in his own nonverbal way. He also flipped out if i mentioned my cervix hurt, or if I had a tiny bit of cervical bleeding from sex, which is normal and not harmful. Despite that we did do it at least once or twice a month, though it was more him grudgingly doing it at my behest, to avoid a fallout.

I was pretty much livid with him all the time and took the whole no sex thing personally, and we fought all the time, mainly with that being the underlying issue.

I was worried it was going to last past pregnancy and that he wouldn’t be able to connect with me as a mother and wife; or worse, not connect with his child.

Anyway, after baby was born, all that stuff didn’t happen, and we got back to having sex 2 weeks after baby was born, and it was good. I had no tears or other trauma, and I pretty much recovered early.

Good luck, if your man has hang-ups like mine did. Maybe buy vibrators and other toys, and tell him about your sexual arousal without him. Show him the monster life-like dildo that fucks your cunt and ask him if his lovely cock is more dangerous than the  monster rubber dildo you’ve been slamming into your cunt every afternoon.

dionysian

 It almost killed me.

From about three months ,along right up until our daughter was born, my wife was ravenous. Morning and night, weekend nooners, she could not get enough.

 It took all of my strength and will, to barely keep up. I seriously wondered sometimes if I was going to survive it.

Five stars and would recommend! I would choose death by cowgirl, all over again.

punks mostly dead

 During my first pregnancy, we both were worried it could cause a miscarriage or premature labor. Where we came up with that notion I can’t remember. We did have sex but it was slower and not as often.

The second time around the pregnancy was high risk and I was sick all during the first trimester, so we didn’t have sex at all, in those weeks.

But by the second trimester I was insatiable. I was never really uncomfortable because we tried different positions and improved our rhythms to make it pleasurable for both of us.

Anonymous

 My wife is just in her 1st trimester with our 1st baby. We have had sex once in the past month. She's pretty nauseous, but I am crossing my fingers that once she feels better, she might be more interested.

I always hoped she would be a horny pregnant person, and not an uncomfortable pregnant person.

Mood Shoes

Pregnancy sex was the absolute best sex ever, during my first pregnancy.

My second pregnancy, I was pregnant with twins and threw up nonstop for 34 weeks. I was definitely not feeling the heat that pregnancy.

orange star

 It was bad. I always felt like I was making my baby have sex.

Zarphod

 My ‘ex’ refused to have sex with me when I was pregnant.

up your bum chum

 The Mrs. completely turned off sex. I think we only did it twice the entire pregnancy.

crush_gold

 I Don't know if you worry about this as well, but my husband's distaste for pregnancy really kind of kept him from doing anything like even rubbing my belly, feeling kicks, spooning with me while holding my belly. He didnt even like me spooning him with my belly pressed to him, talking to baby thru my belly, or any of those gushy things i really HOPED for him to do.

Basically I freaked out that if he couldn't connect to baby while I was pregnant he would not be able to connect when she was there, or be there for me in labor.

Luckily he was a fabulous labor partner, and was a true rock for me for the 24 hours of my misery, and he was the best daddy ever! From the start, he and our daughter are inseparable and it’s ridiculous how devoted he is to her.

dionysian

 With my ex it was great! she was constantly in the mood, anytime we weren’t working, we were in our apartment having sex in every room.

In my new marriage, we didn’t really have frequent sex before this pregnancy; and now during it, sex went down even further so.

tay wil

 It was like my genitals turned off. They just didn't get aroused, didn't respond to touch; nothing.

I was worried I'd lost the ability to orgasm forever. Thankfully, it did come back, a few months after giving birth.

High Fives For Dayz

 Sexy and amazing.

A lot of incredible anal stuff that she initiated, and so many her-initiated two-a-days.

Very happy penis, very happy testicles, and a very happy wife.

Daniel In frangible

 Fucking amazing. I’m stunned I didn’t get pregnant again during the pregnancies. I’m preggo now, and despite the morning sickness it’s great.

Also zero worries about pulling out or condoms.

My only gripe is I don’t think I look as good, I’m plump and my face has gone dark this time. But well, I don’t have to look at me and my partner looks as good as ever.

Also sex after the birth (after all the bleeding is over), is pretty good too. I haven’t asked my current man how he feels about the changes because he is a bit reserved about discussing sexual topics. My ex-husband though, felt preggo sex was the best, both with me and his current wife.

The dude just had to tell me.

One more thing, ladies, if you’re making your guy wait weeks before fucking (post-partum), you can still use your hands and mouth to keep him content and attentive.

And he can find creative ways to pleasure you, too.

Technical_Image

 Me and my ex were expecting a baby boy in July 2021. She was a quite different animal when it came to sex. She wanted to do it every minute of the day, and I kept up with her for the most part.

But after she had our baby, she wanted it more than I could handle. Somewhere down the line she lost feelings and we broke up.

But yeah that's how it was when she was pregnant. Latinas be tripping!

deadly scone

 There’s three moods during pregnancy for me:

·         Horny

·         Hungry

·         Exhausted

Anonymous

 When my wife was told in the 9th month; that sex and orgasms were a sure fire way to get induce labor, I couldn’t keep her off of me. It was wonderful. A little extra discharge but nothing gross.

Magickal Fuck Frog

 I remember my wife’s Obstetrician was always insisting we have sex. She said something about it being good for the pregnancy. But we never did. Can’t do sex in front of a kid, you know.

Anonymous

 Both times I was pregnant, I became unable to orgasm around the second trimester, and that lasted through weaning.

Sex was still enjoyable, but my drive was also way down.

Oh, and first trimester I was too pukey for sex anyhow.

When my drive came back, though, it came back with a vengeance.

sane dragon

 My ex-wife loved it. Her orgasms were multiple as well.

But fucking was limited to cowgirl or from the side.

It was nice, knowing that there's no more trying for a kid.

unbiased asian

 My husband had a real pregnancy fetish; that is, until I got pregnant .

I guess he loved the glow of a pregnant woman, and the thought of sex with a pregnant woman, but he didn't really enjoy it when the time came.

He was creeped out by his baby being right there. For both pregnancies, once I started really showing, we pretty much stopped having sex.

Stunning_Attention

  I loved it, & would recommend lotsa great sex, if you plan on having children.

Oh, and it’s just so care-free! We went from that phase of being careful trying to prevent pregnancy. Then to that phase where we had a task to accomplish and sex started feeling like a mandate.

But pregnancy sex with a glowing hot wife carrying your child and loving on your cock twice as often, after the nausea stage ends.

Neighborhood No

 My ex-wife tried to break me every day for the last six months.

Independent Ok

 Golly. After my 1st trimester, when I could actually hold down water and food, I was horny as hell. All I wanted was spicy food, and spicy bedroom action.

fresh_momma

 After the first trimester, it was amazing. My wife felt sexy (which she was!), with the raging hormones and it made the whole experience great

silver fire

 I Got lightly sprayed with breast milk during the latter stages. Hormones be cray!

Imaginary_Moose

 So good! And I swear it kept me from going past my due date. We had sex within hours of my water breaking for both of my babies.

Print Own

 From a man’s perspective, it was great. The hormones she was releasing (is that called pheromones?) it made me go primal. I’ve never been hornier and have wanted her as much as I did when she was pregnant.

that_bearded_guy

 My guy was reluctant, so I told him that after the baby is born he'll be lucky if he gets laid once a month, if at all, so he better get it while he can.

Besides, do you have to have intercourse? Does he think oral is dangerous too? Do something sexual together, so you can stay connected.

Merrickan Girl

 My wife’s last trimester for our third/last baby girl, she was down-right forcing me at times  to make daily deposits every morning before I left for work.

She was so serious, she wanted that baby out yesterday. At least that’s the urgent reason she always gave me!

Anonymous

 It was nice during first pregnancy. Second pregnancy, it was good up until 3rd trimester.

Lightning crotch made it so that if we did have sex, any movement would be severely painful for the next 2-3 days.

Wut Smith is This

 Sex was Frequent. My wife was prego with twins and we’d have sex a lot more than when we didn’t have kids. There weren’t much options for positions though.

Poor boy was wedged into her pelvis. Luckily my dicks not long, or he would have came out with black eyes.

Health Ok

 Sex was great. Pregnancy hormones sure did a number on me. I was horny 24 7, and we stayed sexually active daily until the day before labor, with both kids.

Ok-Preparation

 God I miss those days. Makes me want to knock her up again.

Big Thisty Beast

 Nothing to brag about during the pregnancy. I had early complications, so no intercourse. Just stimulation is aggravating for 20 weeks.

But the first time after that post 6 week appointment. I needed a bottle of wine, first ;cause I was not prepared at all. But I NEEDED that dick.

We both finished, and he was so happy and out of breath. I just started sobbing so bad. Crying like a crocodile because it was so good after like a year of blah.

 Tears of joy. Such a weird experience. Fucking hormones.

rosebud

 Male here, and I loved it . Her tits were big and full, and she had a really healthy “glow“ to her.

Best of all there was no worries about getting her pregnant any more. No rubbers or birth control of any kind; just all out natural sex . Wonderful!

Dead Red

 Perfect!

My Husband was super super into it, and made me feel so sexy! Even though it was obvious I was huge.

Perfect.

Beatrix Kidd

 Pretty crazy. Some ,then none, then more than I could take.

In the last month she was insatiable.

Afterwards it was quite a few months before she resumed.

planet 1

 My wife was huge and beautiful and I could not keep my hands off her.

spokey man

 I was on an antidepressant called Venlafaxine, the year before getting pregnant, and was unable to have orgasms because of it.

Six months after no longer taking it, I still couldn't enjoy sex.

I somehow still became pregnant and all of a sudden I could feel again. So it was quite lovely.

I had lots of catching up to do.

Holub

 Been a long time for me but my wife was always craving it and the further along she got, the wilder it was.

She even wanted it as she began labor, before going to the hospital.

The nurses were laughing because she didn’t get ‘cleaned up’ time before getting to the hospital.

I was absolutely delighted every time she told me she was pregnant, cause well you can guess.

Mental-Pitch

 It was great! I was a lot more confident about my body, actually.

I generally really enjoyed it.

It’s after the baby is born that it’s not so great, due to delivery recovery, and hormones, and a kid cock-blocking all the time.

Educational_Boot

Fucking awesome!

With kid #5 I was a sex slave for nearly the whole time.

She was always so hot so we kept the window open during the winter. It was the coldest winter in decades where we live.

I never thought I would enjoy freezing my ass of so much. She was ravenous; at all hours.

 nuclear_pickle

 I was reluctant to do it. I Found my wife really attractive while she was pregnant, but I was genuinely worried about hitting the baby with my cock; despite it being scientifically impossible.

Mysterious

 It was weird. Not bad weird but the body does some crazy things. The bigger I got, the more I could feel my uterus contracting after an orgasm. It was unsettling until I called my OB and was like “Excuse me but what the fuck” or something like that. She told me it was normal and not to worry. Stay hydrated and it won’t be as noticeable.

Towards the end of my pregnancy, I was so desperate to get my daughter out. Semen can start the dilation process, so sex was just a way to evacuate her from the hot tub party that was my uterus.

G_Ram

 My wife and I remember this fondly.

Her hormones were absolutely raging and she was horny pretty much all the time. I've never had more sex than when my wife was pregnant. She was insatiable and wetter than I've ever seen her.

We had to do this sideways maneuver when she got way pregnant because she couldn't breathe if she was on her back and obviously she couldn't lay on her stomach. But it worked for us.

Then you can't do it for at least 6 weeks after your kid is born and you go into sex withdrawal. And my wife had postpartum pretty severely, so it was even longer after that.

Cosmic Pope

 I’m Currently pregnant. My hormones are raging and I feel like I'm constantly pulling my partner in the bedroom.

Physically & emotionally, the hormones are going on all circuitry, so I'm loving it.

 Running_zombie_

 I absolutely loved it. She was so physically, hormonally and emotionally into it that the sex itself was great.

Plus, a pregnant woman is just a beautiful thing, like a damn sunset. So, all around, five stars

Edith Whart

 Awesome. She was horned up all the time. She would wake me up in the middle of the night, ride me like a Harley, and then we’d have a midnight snack.

Stupid Old

 My doctor encouraged us! It's great stress relief, because being pregnant wasn't easy (at least for me). I was pretty much assured it was pretty darn impossible to harm the fetus with sex. Also, it works pretty great to bring on labor when you're 5 days overdue. So if the doc is telling me to have sex when I'm 10 months preggers, I'm pretty sure it was okay at 6 months.

My sex life didn't ramp up during pregnancy; it definitely slowed down, but we still were pretty regular! And yes, you need to let your body heal after having the baby (6-8 weeks is generally the recommendation) but we got back on track after week 6 (and I had a C-Section).

 The only difference is, now there is a kid in the mix so trying to find the time is so much harder (and can be frustrating when you're planning on some exciting festivities and about 5 mins in, a little someone decides to wake up early and scream until picked up). To solve this, we now plan for sex (sounds so unromantic but it really isn't).

We try for at least one night a week (kiddo now sleeps 12 hours and has since 3 months - he's 9 months now) where we spend the entire evening on each other. Any other chances we get during the week are bonus - showers, early morning quickies, etc.

Have faith! And seriously, if your man rejects your advances, citing fears about the baby, have a real professional talk to your husband about his fears - they are totally unfounded and it would be interested to see where he has formed them.

Sofiira

 The truth is that I was never much in the mood when she was pregnant. Not because she was about twice as big as usual, but because she was a fucking bitch for nine months, not that I can blame her.

 nalf

[roseblushfemme]

last night as we were laying in bed to sleep, Sir started touching me and biting me and told me She thinks She’s going to up my edge requirements a day (it’s currently one because i struggle with multiple) and asked how many i think it should be. i whined that it’s hard to do multiple on a workday because i have to do them all at once in the evening and She said “you have the morning” and i said “i don’t have enough time Sir” and all She responded with was “well you better plan.”

i suggested that i could do multiple edges on a wednesday since i’m always home that day to do housework and i could space them out, and She said “then you can always be edging, the way it should be.”

somehow my brain wasn’t cooperating and i offered 3-5 edges a day which feels impossible when i have to work all day and She said we could start there. and then She had me touch my clit to edge and i whined that i wanted my glass toy so She told me to go get it, and if i wanted to be able to use it i would also need to bring back nipple clamps. something about having both my ass and cunt filled and Sir clamping my nipples when She knows they’re already sensitive and sore just puts me in the right headspace and i was able to edge a first time (second time of the night total). Sir put two fingers in my mouth for me to suck on which eventually turned into four fingers and She put them to the back of my throat and just put pressure there and i moaned and gagged on them which just made me more wet and desperate to edge. the way She looks down at me while Her fingers are in my mouth makes me feel so small and like a toy for Her amusement. after a while She pulled Her fingers away quietly and started playing with my cunt and sternly said “they’re going back in your mouth when i’m done.” and i think i melted.

somehow i ended up edging 5 times before bed last night and Sir made me sleep still full from a glass plug in my ass and the silicone dildo from the strap on in my cunt. one of the edges happened just while She was playing with the plug and She asked me “did you just edge from me playing with the plug in your ass?” and when i moaned “yes Sir” to confirm She laughed and said “you’re such a little ass slut.” and i may have had heart eyes. She told me to put on my eye mask to go to sleep and said that if i was lucky, maybe She would fuck me in my sleep which just made it impossible for me to fall asleep.

anyway i slept terribly and kept waking up because of how full i feel and i woke up to edge twice because i just needed it so bad, once at 2am and once at 5am. thank god it’s friday because i’m obviously going to be very exhausted today and just want to come home and go back into my slut brain for Sir all weekend. i wish i didn’t have to work and i could just be Sir’s dumb slut toy all day every day.

#flowersrambles #🔒 #I just realised that’s 8 edges in a 12 hour period and now i feel kinda unstoppable idk

[eepy-pleepy]

It’s Not Everest (No Vacancy)

The neon “NO” is hidden behind an overgrown shrub, so Dean pulls the Impala into the motel parking lot before they can see that it is, in fact, lit.

“Awesome.” Dean says in a tone that clearly doesn’t think so, and whips the car around to pull back onto the dark road. They immediately hit a pothole and Sam’s head bumps the ceiling.

“Ow, wait, Dean, we didn't go check with the office, maybe they just left the sign lit because they can’t freaking see it–”

“No, Sam, every goddamn motel in this godless town is full up and I don’t particularly feel like walking into another musty fucking office just to have them tell me I need to learn how to read. It’s too damn late, I’m too damn tired, I’m just gonna find a pull-off where the cops won’t feel the need to be our 5AM wake-up call and we’re sleeping in Baby. Fuck it.” He emphasizes the last sentence by throwing the car into park, all seventeen feet of shiny black metal successfully hidden behind a bank of tall, scraggly shrubs off the shoulder of the road. Dean kills the engine and the early summer evening rises to fill the silence with the musical stylings of several hundred crickets.

“Dean.”

“We’ve done it before, Sam.”

“I know we have. What about Cas?”

Dean looks over at the passenger’s side. Sitting shotgun, Cas looks back at him, his eyes just a dark glint in the moonlight.

“I can just... keep watch outside.” He says.

“Bad fucking idea.” Dean snaps. “I wake up in the middle of the night and see you out there lurking, I might shoot you between the eyes. You’re staying in the damn car.”

“Dean, there’s not enough roo–”

“Look, Sammy, passing out is passing out, sitting or lying down. This is a molehill, not Everest. I just need my four hours, damn.”

Dean crams up against the driver’s side door, crossing his arms over his chest, leaning his bent knees against the back of the seat between himself and Cas. He’ll worry about bootprints on the leather upholstery when he isn’t so fucking exhausted.

“Jerk.” Sam mutters from the backseat, almost inaudible.

“Goodnight, bitch.”

“Goodnight, Dean. Sam.” Cas murmurs.

“Don’t make it weird, Cas.”

"Goodnight, Cas."

"Thank you, Sam."

Dean gives a little huff through his nose. Cas folds his hands in his lap and turns his head forward to watch the fireflies.

Dean doesn’t like it when Cas watches him sleep. Cas knows this.

But if he doesn't want eyes on him, he shouldn’t be drawing so much attention to himself. This is the fourth time inside of an hour that he’s shifted around, clearly uncomfortable with his sleeping arrangement, six feet of full-grown man trying to figure out how to make three feet work for him.

It's clearly not working out.

Dean's head has fallen against Castiel’s arm. He’s snoring gently, Cas can feel his breath warm through the sleeve of his trench coat.

He shuts his eyes. Pulls his focus down to just this, the upper lefthand side of his body. Feels the weight of Dean's head, the unyielding shape of his skull, the softness of his cheek. Cas turns his head towards him, just to better assess the situation. Not at all to feel the soft tickle of Dean’s hair against his nose and lips. That’s just an... accidental consequence.

Cas feels too big for his own skin. It’s something a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent should be entirely familiar with, but this isn't the feeling of cramming a Chrysler building into a 5-foot-11-inch frame.

This is bigger than that.

The slump of Dean’s body across the seat means that his head is the only thing supported, and it has his neck at a bad angle. If Dean's an angry sleeper, he's even worse with a crick in his neck and Cas doesn't love the idea of being stuck in a car with that tomorrow. He can't pull Dean more flush against his side without the risk of waking him and sending him into a conniption of bruised heterosexuality, so instead, he carefully lifts his arm. It works perfectly: Dean slides forward, falling to lying down with his head in Cas' lap.

The effect is immediate. The uncomfortable pinch between Dean's brows smooths away and he takes a deep, slow breath, settling against his new pillow and sinking into an easier sleep.

Cas hasn't realized he's smiling, yet. It's a tiny, soft thing, the one he gets when he's looking at something precious.

He is.

The moonlight catches the sweep of Dean's eyelashes, the top of his cheek, the shell of his ear, gilding them silver. His lips are parted, plush and dark in the contrast of the pale light. He's slightly curled up on the bench seat and Cas knows it's to fit the small space but that doesn't mean it's not the most fucking endearing thing he's ever seen.

The short hair over Dean's ear is mussed from the way he was slumped like a grumpy turtle past the collars of his shirt and jacket. Delicate, Cas brushes it right again.

Dean shifts, pressing up into his ghost of a touch. Cas draws back, afraid he's been caught doing something definitely not on Dean's approved list of Things Just Friends Do, but Dean doesn't wake. Cas' hand hovers.

He shouldn't. He should return to looking out of the front windshield and prepare the diffusion for when Dean wakes up to find himself sleeping in Cas' lap. That's what he should do.

The trouble is, nothing short of a fucking catastrophe could pull his eyes away from this. Dean is so beautiful, so calm and easy in his slumber, and he's right here, safe and close and warm. Literally right in his lap.

Cas pets Dean's hair, feeling that dangerous constriction again, something so huge and profound it might very well burst him. Dean sleeps on.

"You should tell him."

Sam's voice from the backseat is so quiet it's barely a whisper, but it startles Cas like a gunshot. He turns his head a margin to find Sam watching him, head and shoulders against the back driver's side door, arms crossed over his chest.

"Did you say something?" Cas tries, matching Sam's barely-there whisper.

"You heard me."

"Tell him what?"

"You love him."

Cas turns his head further so he's not just looking at Sam out of his periphery. There's nothing accusatory in Sam's tone, quiet as it is, or in his posture, cramped as it may be. He looks back at Cas with nothing but the same easy camaraderie he's always shown him, like they're discussing a good book or the lovely weather, not a complete paradigm shift.

In his lap, Dean tucks one hand under Cas' thigh and nuzzles his face deeper against the fabric of his pants. Cas looks down at him again and feels ready to explode into several new galaxies.

"I can't." He breathes.

"Why not?"

"You know your brother, Sam.” Cas says, unable to stop himself from stroking light fingers through Dean’s hair again. “And I’m happy. I refuse to risk losing him in pursuit of something I don’t need from him.”

“You’re right, I do know my brother. Probably better than he’d like to believe.” Sam says. “And I think he might surprise you, given the chance.”

Cas looks back at Sam like he wants to argue, but then just closes his mouth, his jaw bunching. Sam gives a little shrug and sits forward, reaching behind himself for the door handle.

“Just some, uh… food for thought.” He says. “I’m gonna hit the head. I’ll take my time. No particular reason.”

“Sam.”

But Sam’s already unfolding out into the night air, the car rocking as his weight shifts. The crickets are suddenly much louder, invading their little bubble of quiet. In Cas’ lap, Dean twitches.

Sam shuts the car door and Dean sits bolt upright. His gun, dropped in the footwell before he fell asleep, is in his grasp in a blink.

“Sam's just gone to relieve his bladder.” Cas says next to him. Dean squints at him and sniffs, wiping at his groggy eyes, then flicks the safety back on. The gun hits the footwell again with a dull thunk.

"God. Like a damn cashew. You'd think with all that height there'd be more... storage."

Cas is carefully looking forward, and not at the red mark on Dean’s cheek that’s the same shape as the warm spot rapidly cooling on his thigh. Dean rubs at that side of his face.

“Was I…?” He clears his throat. “Uh.”

“Asleep? Yes. I thought that was the idea.”

“Lying on you.”

“You needed to stretch out.”

Dean gives a frustrated sigh. “No, Cas, man, that’s your personal space. You should have shoved me off.”

“It was easier on your neck.” Cas says, still looking straight ahead. “You weren’t bothering me.”

“That’s not the point. You gotta have boundaries.”

“What’s mine is yours, Dean. I have no qualms sharing everything I have with you.”

Dean scoffs, leaning forward over the steering wheel and tilting to pop his spine. “Jesus. You ol’ romantic.”

Cas turns his head to look at Dean. The slightly uncomfortable smirk slowly slips off of Dean’s face. His eyes drop to Cas' lips before he catches himself, and he makes a weak attempt to laugh the charge out of the air between them.

“Man, you gotta figure out your levels. Last person who looked at me like that had me thinking marriage."

“Dean, why do you say things like that?”

Dean’s shoulders shove up under his ears. “You turn eyes like that on some innocent girl she’s gonna up and devote her entire life to you, Cas, I’m just letting you know you gotta tone it down!”

“Why would I turn eyes like this on some innocent girl?”

“Because you’re doin’ it to me like you think it’s a normal thing to do!”

“Dean, maybe you need to figure out how to receive a signal without assuming the other person isn't aware of what they're broadcasting." Cas snaps, then subsides as something like fear flickers across his face.

Dean’s jaw hangs uselessly for a stunned moment.

"Cas. You–"

Cas watches him in the manner of a gazelle waiting for a sudden deadly movement. Dean's gaze flits to Cas’ lips again.

"You. Uh." He says eloquently, and his tongue darts out in a nervous motion. This makes his lips impossible to ignore, shiny and wet in the moonlight.

“It's not Everest." Cas whispers.

"It kinda fuckin' is." Dean says, hoarse.

“Forget it. You should go back to sleep.” Cas says, reaching towards Dean with two fingers. It’s his fighter’s instinct that makes Dean grab them before they can touch his forehead, but it’s something else entirely that bunches his other hand in the front of Cas’ coat and yanks him forward. Cas tumbles gracelessly on top of Dean, and Dean doesn’t give either of them time to think.

At the first touch of Dean’s lips, Cas melts. A tiny sound escapes him, not quite a sigh, not quite a moan, and he’s grasping Dean’s shoulder like it’s the only thing preventing him from falling into the footwell. Their mouths part with a soft, wet noise and Cas meets Dean’s eyes, almost too close to focus on.

His arm is pressed across Dean’s chest from his fall. He can feel Dean’s heartbeat, galloping like an outlaw with the sheriff on his tail, and he understands the feeling.

“Dean.” He croaks.

“Yeah.”

“Do that again.”

Dean nuzzles their noses together, nudges Cas’ mouth in a barely-there brush of lips. Cas touches Dean’s face, dizzy with it, feeling stubble rough on the skin of Dean's jaw. He presses forward, holding Dean’s face like the beloved thing it is, and kisses him reverently. Dean sinks against the door until he’s lying across the seats and shoves his arms up under Cas’ suit jacket, encircling his back.

The crickets play them a love song. It’s entirely lost on them.

When Sam returns, approaching the Impala with caution, he finds his brother asleep with his angel hugged against him like a large, man-shaped teddy bear. Cas glances up, clocking the motion of Sam leaning over to peer through the driver’s window, and there’s a smile on his face that Sam’s never seen on him before.

If happy was what he had been, then this? This is pure, unfiltered bliss.

Sam slides carefully into the back seat and shuts the door as gently as he can.

“I’ll save my I Told You So, but only because you look so cute.” He whispers.

“Sam.”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

Read on Ao3

#destiel #suptober21 #no vacancy #I had no intention to participate in this year's suptober but then #the prompt hit me like seventeen feet of vintage shiny black metal #oops #dean winchester #castiel #wren writes #ao3 #fanfiction #fic rec #destiel fic rec #idiots figure it out #first kiss #fluff #grumpy dean #deancas #one shot #short n sweet #HAPPY 11 MONTHS #destiel anniversary #destiel is canon

[theteasetwrites]

Objects of Affection

❧ Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader ❧ Era: pre-apocalypse (circa 2003) ❧ Pronouns: not specified ❧ Warnings: mild swearing, claustrophobic/stampede situation ❧ Word Count: 4.1k

❧ Prompts from this list

❧ Summary: It's that time of year again—time to wake up extra early to go Christmas shopping the day after Thanksgiving... Daryl isn't too excited, but he'll do anything for you, even if it involves Black Friday.

❧ A/N: Is this a Hallmark movie or what? So much cuteness it makes me sick, I love it. I absolutely adored playing with pre-apocalypse Daryl. I think he's still grumpy but a little less hardened since he's younger and stuff. Also loved putting him in the holiday setting. So cute! And I couldn't resist the urge to put our guy in a knit sweater. How cute would he look?! Absolutely adorable. God, I need a boyfriend... anyway, enjoy!

You knew you were going to piss him off. You knew it, but you warned him a week in advance that it was going to be this way.

“Wakey, wakey,” you said softly, tussling Daryl’s scruffy hair as you leaned over him from the other side of the bed.

He let out a muffled groan from the pillow he had his head buried in. Daryl was no stranger to getting up early, not one bit. He often arose around 5am in order to get ready for his job at the auto shop, but he wasn’t looking forward to waking up today.

Black Friday, the bane of his existence.

“Five more minutes,” he grumbled as you began rubbing his bare back, trying to coax him up from your bed.

You huffed before throwing the covers off you and reaching over Daryl to flick on the bedside lamp. He scrunched his eyes closed even more to keep the light out.

“Jesus, (Y/N)!” Daryl turned his head to face towards the other side of the room as you straddled his lower back and leaned down to whisper in his ear.

“Come on, mister, ‘I don’t mind getting up early.’ You promised me.”

You pressed a small kiss to his ear, to which he lifted his head from the pillow and faced you. “Promised what?”

You straightened up, then dismounted his back to lay next to him. You had to admit, you were also tired, and you also hated Black Friday shopping, but you needed to do it this year. There were just too many people to buy for, and you wanted to get everyone exactly what they wanted, now that you had a real, relatively high-paying job.

“You promised you’d go shopping with me,” you said while studying Daryl’s sleepy face. He closed his eyes and let out an exasperated moan before flipping himself over to look up at the ceiling. “Come on, I really don’t wanna go alone.”

Daryl’s eyes shot open and he looked at you sharply. “‘Course you ain’t goin’ alone,” he said, the volume of his voice returning to usual waking Daryl mode. “Think I’m gonna let ya get trampled by them idiots?”

You laughed, then rolled onto your side to snuggle up to him. “Well, if they’re idiots then that makes us idiots too, but I need to get this shopping done before everything sells out.”

He wrapped an arm around you and pulled you into his chest. “Can’t we just stay home all day?” he asked, closing his eyes and enjoying the feeling of your hair draping over his shoulder. “‘Sides, I’m still digestin’ that turkey. Think it had some kinda disease.” He patted his stomach.

You scoffed. “God, I hope not. You caught that thing, you better not have fed me a rotten turkey.”

Daryl knew how much you were wary of eating that wild turkey he hunted with his brother a few days before Thanksgiving, and that day was a whole ordeal in and of itself.

“Jus’ messin’ with ya,” he said with a smirk. He looked over at you, your eyes wide as you waited for him to say something regarding your shopping trip. “Okay, okay,” he said, reaching his hand down to playfully pat your bottom a few times. “Jus’ gimme a few minutes. Gotta take a piss.”

You beamed, squealing a bit as you grabbed his cheeks and gave him a long, exaggerated kiss. He scrunched up his face, but enjoyed your enthusiasm nonetheless.

“Thank you, sweetie.”

The line stretched for what seemed like miles outside of the local indoor shopping mall, with hundreds of eager shoppers dressed in mountains of coats and gloves and hats to beat the chilly late November weather.

You and Daryl had seen these people on the news the past few years, pushing past the security guards and trampling over the stampede to get to that fancy new sixty-five inch flat screen TV. Packed like sardines, they’d perambulate around the big-box stores until the shelves, and their pockets of hard-earned money, were completely barren.

“Oh, the humanity,” you said to yourself, waiting with Daryl towards the end of the excruciatingly long line. “Black Friday is the worst.”

Of course, this was your first year actually participating in the event, but you already hated it. You hadn’t anticipated the lines to be this long since you thought you were getting there early, but apparently other shoppers were more prepared than you.

“Gonna open soon,” Daryl said, trying his best to keep your spirits up. He knew how much it meant to you to get everyone gifts this year. You’d never really been able to get anyone anything special, so it was important to you, even if he didn’t understand it. “Ten minutes, I think.”

You nodded, smiling at Daryl, wrapped up in his army green coat you got him for his birthday last year. That was another thing, Daryl’s birthday was coming up in January, and you were hoping to find some things for him when he wasn’t looking (as well as for his Christmas presents, of course).

“What do you want for Christmas, Mr. Grinch?” you asked him, snaking your arm around his and pulling his body closer to yours in an attempt to keep warm in the early morning cold.

He rolled his eyes. “Told ya, don’t want nothin’. Don’t need nothin’. Just make me those Christmas cookies and I’m happy.”

Ah, yes. The famous sugar cookies you made from scratch and decorated together every year. Daryl always got a rather juvenile kick out of biting the head off of Santa once he was all frosted with buttercream icing and red and white sprinkles.

“I know that’s not all you want,” you replied. “What about that fancy crossbow you’ve been looking at for ages? I bet I could finally afford to get that for you.”

Daryl shook his head, but his eyes betrayed a childlike wonder that didn’t elude you as you studied his face underneath the parking lot lights. “Nah,” he said. “Don’t want ya spendin’ your money on me. ‘Sides, I don’t need it.”

“It’s not about what you need, honey. It’s what you want. Do you think anyone gets what they need for Christmas? I mean, you need new underwear but that doesn’t mean it’s the only thing I’m getting you.”

He smirked at you. “You just get me whatever you wanna get me,” he said. “I’ll be happy with it.”

The man was too practical for his own good. You really just wanted to spoil him, getting everything his heart desired, but you knew he’d feel like shit for not being able to get you everything you wanted.

Daryl didn’t make nearly as much money fixing cars, even though he’d been doing it since he was in high school. He was a genius with mechanics, and it infuriated you that his boss hadn’t given him a raise in the nearly ten years he worked there. He was a hard-working, reliable employee who never missed a day of work, even when he was sick, and yet he was treated like a replaceable part-time trainee.

So, you were intent on buying anything and everything you thought he would like this year, even if he was going to be difficult about outwardly telling you what he wanted.

“Does that mean I can get you a turtleneck sweater?” you asked, unlacing your arm from his and rubbing his chest up and down as you gave him puppy dog eyes.

“No,” he said firmly. “Not wearin’ no damn turtleneck.”

You laughed before kissing him on the cheek, the scruff of his light brown facial hair scratching you just a little as you did so.

“We’ll see about that.”

Just then, the voice of a man speaking through an intercom blared out into the parking lot. You both turned to face the front doors of the mall, which were beginning to open, and you could already see a small stampede beginning to form at the start of the line where security guards were trying to hold back the increasingly rambunctious crowd.

“Everyone,” the man with the intercom said, “we’re about to open the shopping center. Now, in order to make this a pleasant experience for everyone involved, we ask that you please enter in a single-file line and that you refrain from pushing and shoving—”

Suddenly, the line ahead of you began to swell and move forward as you caught a glimpse of heads bobbing to and fro against the backlight of the brightly lit shopping center.

From behind, you felt a surge of pressure push you and Daryl towards the entrance.

“Whoa,” you said, caught by surprise as your body seemed to move without its own volition.

Daryl was a bit more sturdy, maintaining his balance against the crowd (no doubt due to his experience in mosh pits at rowdy punk shows). You, however, were almost knocked over onto your knees until Daryl grabbed your forearm and steadied you, but you were soon both being pushed again.

“Hey!” Daryl barked at the man pushing against you from behind. “Back off, asshole!”

The man mostly ignored Daryl, seemingly much more interested in continuing to push against you and the line ahead until you were quickly plunged into more of a glob than a straight, single-file line.

It was at this moment that you were incredibly glad Daryl agreed to come with you, because he immediately went into survival mode, acting almost as a shield against the bodies thrashing against you. He held your hand tightly, keeping your body with his as he moved around you to absorb any of the pressure the crowd was directing at you.

“Stay close,” he said amidst the clamor of voices that sounded from all around you.

You were in the heart of the stampede now, and it began to move faster and faster the closer it moved you to the entrance.

“Daryl,” you said in a panic, looking at him with big, worried eyes as you held your body against his, feeling the pressure increasing with each step.

He was about to say something when a woman’s arm extended over your head, and the large leather purse looped around it smacked you in the head. “Shit!” you yelled.

Daryl yelled some profanities at the woman who, once again, mostly ignored your foul-mouthed boyfriend.

Just like that, you were transported into the mouth of the building, where the pressure from the crowd finally abated and you could actually breathe comfortably.

You stumbled around with Daryl for a bit until you happened to find yourselves in the middle of the busy mall, with Daryl holding you tight and the both of you out of breath.

Daryl quickly placed his hands on your shoulders and scanned your body up and down to see if you were hurt anywhere, as if he could see past the three layers of clothing you had on.

“You a’right?” he panted.

You paused for a moment, then let out a boisterous laugh. “That was crazy!” you said. “What a rush.”

Daryl looked at you incredulously for a while, then broke out into an amused smirk. “C’mon, let’s get this over with.”

The first store you hit was the big-box tech store, which housed all the neat gadgets and devices you knew would sell out quickly.

Daryl agreed to push the cart while you walked alongside him reading the multi-page list you had been editing and revising for a few months in preparation for holiday shopping.

“Let’s see… electronics…” You flipped through the pages until you found the list of clunky objects you intended on getting. “Mom wants a TV, forty-three inch… and one of those new Blu-Ray DVD players… and Dad says he’s getting her that MP3 player, so we can cross that off the list.”

Daryl folded his arms over the push bar of the shopping cart. “Just get ‘er a candle,” he grumbled. “Moms love candles.”

You lowered your list to look at him. “Daryl, do you know how many candles I’ve bought that poor woman over the years? She could bathe in the wax at this point. I’ve never gotten her a big thing… I wanna get her a big thing.” You gestured your hands to illustrate the importance of the word “big.”

He shrugged as he followed you, pushing the cart as dutifully as he possibly could given how out of place he felt.

Daryl had never really gone Christmas shopping before he met you. Hell, he hardly celebrated Christmas growing up. He never got any gifts, and his only family consisted of his two neglectful alcoholic parents and his aloof older brother, Merle. He couldn’t even fathom ever buying anything for anyone in his family. Now his mother was dead, his father on his last legs, and his brother in and out of jail… he didn’t have much of a family to buy for even if he wanted to.

Thus, he found a family in you and your parents, who always welcomed Daryl with open arms to their home on Christmas morning to exchange presents. Though he wasn’t the best at gift giving, and he never made much money, he always tried his hardest to get you at least one thing you wanted, or something he thought you would like.

This year, he had already bought your main present several months in advance: a pair of genuine Tiffany pearl earrings.

Now, Daryl didn’t know the first thing about jewelry or fashion or high-end retail, but he knew one thing—he always heard you talking about these earrings. He knew that your mother had received a pair from your father one Christmas, and that the joy on her face when she opened that gift and first laid her eyes on the stunning alabaster globes was something you always wanted to experience.

Though your mother told you she’d hand those earrings down to you when she passed, Daryl wanted to get you a pair of your own that you could wear now.

The little things were expensive, though. Daryl had to save up for three months worth of paychecks to even get his hands on the cheapest pearl earrings Tiffany sold, but even he had to admit they were a sight to behold. He couldn’t wait to see how they’d look on you (though he had a hunch you’d look beautiful as always).

Soon, you had found and purchased everything on your list for your family and friends, and now you made your way into the nearest Macy’s.

“Everything smells like cinnamon and tinsel,” you said as you took in the aroma of the holidays pulsating through the air. Christmas music blared from the speakers and the whole place was decorated from top to bottom. Macy’s always did go all-out for Christmas.

“Yeah, it’s givin’ me a headache,” Daryl replied, once again pushing your cart and keeping a close eye on you to make sure you didn’t get knocked over by any crazed customers.

“Poor baby,” you said with a pouty face, then threw your arms around his chest and nuzzled into the crook of his shoulder as he reluctantly pushed the cart towards the men’s clothing section. “I really appreciate this, you know. It’s nice to go shopping with you.”

Daryl rolled his eyes, though he felt his heart flutter a little. You always had that effect on him. “Yeah, yeah. Guys’ clothes up ahead,” he said, nodding towards the approaching racks of menswear that looked much too formal for him, but you were on a mission to buy some things for your father, and Merle, even though Daryl insisted that he didn’t need anything.

“Do you think he’d wear this?” you asked Daryl, holding up a red and black plaid flannel shirt.

Daryl tilted his head as he studied the garment, then shrugged upon realizing that it was just a basic shirt. “Don’ know,” he said. “Your dad’ll wear anything.”

You lowered the shirt with a sigh. “Daryl, I meant for Merle.”

“Told ya, we ain’t gettin’ that son of a bitch jackshit. Wouldn’t even like anything you get for ‘im ‘less it’s a bag of crystal.”

You scoffed, refolding the flannel and returning it to its place on the display table. “You’re such a scrooge. Where’s your Christmas spirit? Love thy brother, or something.”

“Serious, (Y/N).” He narrowed his eyes at you and pointed his finger. “I don’t want ya buyin’ anything for that asshole.”

You paused for a moment, folding your arms over your chest before eyeing a rack of knit turtlenecks in the distance. “Oh my god, Daryl!” You grabbed the edge of the shopping cart, taking Daryl along with you to the rack.

“Goddamnit,” he said when the cable knit sweater of rich forest green came into view, its ropes of intricate knit patterns twisted around each other like overgrown vines of ivy.

“Oh, Daryl,” you gasped as you held the sweater over his frame to imagine what it might look like on him. You beamed at the way the color blended with his warm olive skin tone.

The sweater conversation was one you had with Daryl numerous times whenever the cold weather came around in autumn. He never wore them, he either wore button-up shirts or flannels, with occasional overclothes of leather or denim. All you wanted was to see him in something different for a change, and you always had a thing for men in sweaters, especially turtlenecks. You just knew he’d look adorable, but he was worried he’d look too “yuppy.”

“Please,” you pouted. “It’s on sale.”

He scoffed. “Everythin’s on sale, girl. It’s Black Friday. Whole thing’s a ploy to get you to spend money and make ya think you’re gettin’ a deal.”

You ignored him, smiling at the way it looked on him even just as you were holding it against his strong, broad frame. He’d definitely need a bigger size, but it looked as if it were made for him.

“It brings out your eyes,” you said. “The cool green with the blue… and it looks beautiful with your hair, too. Oh, you’re so wearing this to Christmas dinner.”

His eyes widened. “Nah, no way. Not a chance. Your mom’s gonna be all over me more than she already is.”

If there was one woman in the world who loved Daryl more than you, it was your mother. She practically screamed when you told her that he finally asked you out, and nearly had a heart attack when she first met him.

“Genuine Irish wool,” you read on the tag, still choosing to ignore Daryl’s exaggerated grumpiness. “Spun by hand in the Aran Islands… you couldn’t ask for a better sweater.”

He crossed his arms and chewed his lip studying the wool garment as you held it up for him to see. You peeked your eyes over the shoulder to gauge his reaction, but he was just quiet for a while. He never had any piece of clothing so nice, and it looked very, very warm.

He shook his head. “Jus’ for Christmas dinner,” he finally said, still maintaining that tough outward expression. You lowered the sweater and smiled sweetly at him, then inched forward to place a long, grateful kiss on his cheek. “Ain’t wearin’ it anywhere else.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Mhm,” you hummed, carefully placing the sweater in the cart. “Whatever you say.”

The rest of the shopping trip went off without a hitch. You were even able to sneak off to the sporting goods outlet while Daryl was off putting the other presents in the car. There you found the last Horton Scout HD 125 Red Dot Crossbow on the shelf.

Of course, there was some confusion as you compared each and every crossbow contraption to the one Daryl had scribbled down on your notepad upon your request (after several failed attempts to remember the name on your own).

You knew it was exactly the one he wanted, and that he was going to be over the moon when he opened it on Christmas day. This was the very last thing you needed to be the holiday hero you always wanted to be, the person who bought everyone the best gifts, and exactly what they wanted.

For Daryl, it was even more important that you get him this. You weren’t into weapons, or hunting, or outdoorsy things like Daryl was, but you loved going camping with him and watching him string up the arrows and get genuine enjoyment out of hunting. He was always considerate enough not to rub the animals’ deaths in your face, or to be anything but respectful to his kills, so you could at least appreciate that too.

Since his last crossbow recently met its demise after years of regular use, you decided you’d go all out and get him his dream bow. After all, you had the money now, and Daryl deserved it.

Little did you know, Daryl was also buying you extra gifts when he split up from you, and had a special hiding place in his cooler in the backseat of the car for all the things he saw you eyeing for yourself.

Certainly, the Christmas season was off to a great start.

December passed with the usual stress of the holidays, mitigated by decorating the house and forcing Daryl to snuggle up and watch old Christmas movies with you.

Finally, Christmas day arrived, and so did you and Daryl upon the steps of your parents’ home just outside of Atlanta.

“Merry Christmas!” your very peppy mother cried out to you both as she practically threw the door open and wrapped her arms around you. “Come in, come in.”

The place was decked out in lights and Christmas merriment, as usual. Your father was in the kitchen working on the ham, and you and Daryl began placing your presents under the giant tree in the living room.

Then, when Daryl took off his leather jacket, your mother gasped. “Daryl!” she said. “My, you look so handsome!” She rushed over to Daryl and cupped his cheeks in her soft, warm hands, squishing his face to create a pout and eliciting a giggle from you as you watched from across the room. “Look at this sweater, it’s beautiful!”

“Uh, thanks,” Daryl replied.

As many family functions that he had attended, he could never quite get used to the exaggerated motherly affection he received from your mom.

“I think your mother loves Daryl more than us,” your father said to you.

You laughed. “I can’t blame her.”

When it came time to open presents, you insisted upon Daryl opening his best present last, and Daryl did the same for you.

You opened your earrings at the same time Daryl opened his crossbow, and the joy in the room was unparalleled, like Christ himself had just been born.

You immediately put the earrings on, and Daryl wasted no time in removing the bow from its box, disregarding the paper instructions as he fully knew how to use it.

“You like ‘em?” he asked you, between admiring his crossbow.

There were already tears in your eyes, glistening along with the shine of the pearlescent jewelry framing your face. “I love them, honey. Thank you so much. I’ve always wanted these.”

He smiled and thumbed away your tears. “I know,” he said.

“You like your bow?” you asked with a tearful laugh.

He nodded emphatically. “Hell yeah,” he said, holding it up and pointing it at the ceiling as he admired it some more. “Can’t wait to use it.”

Just then, you noticed that your parents had both left the room to work on setting the table for dinner (and to give you both privacy as you opened your presents for each other), so you took the opportunity to gently grab Daryl’s crossbow and set it on the coffee table. You planted your hands on his chest and leaned in to connect his lips to yours.

He wrapped his hands around each of your upper arms and moved into your kiss, massaging your lips with the sweetness and passion only he could show you.

Slowly, you separated with a smile. “I love you so much,” you said. “Will you think of me every time you use your crossbow?”

Daryl snorted. “This a trick question?”

“No,” you laughed, rubbing your nose against his. He brushed your hair back and began caressing your ear, so simply and elegantly decorated with its pearl. He knew you would look wonderful.

“‘Course,” he replied. “I’m always thinkin’ ‘bout you.”

Daryl never cared much for Christmas, but that year was truly magical, and he never felt more love than he ever had in his entire life.

All just because of one stupid, commercial holiday.

~

Thanks for reading! Likes, reblogs, and comments of any kind are always appreciated!

#daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon fanfic #daryl dixon #the walking dead #the walking dead fanfic #twd #twd fanfic #norman reedus #norman reedus fanfic #norman reedus x reader

[poisoned-peppermint]

Incorrect quotes my beloved

quench your thirst my beloveds

~~Long post~~

Wilbur: At your wifes house rn ;) she hitting me with a broom

~~~~~~~~

Bad: Catch me gardening topless at 5am telling my baby tomato plant about my bad dream

~~~~~~~

Skeppy: I got bitten on my walk by a great dane

Bad: My God - imagine if it had been a small child

Skeppy: I could have fought off a small child, Bad

~~~~~~~

*texting*

Skeppy: I wanted to kiss you today

Bad: Why didn’t you

Skeppy: Can't reach your face

~~~~~~~

Bad: Why are you calling me on your day off?

Skeppy: I need your help. I’ve done something bad, very bad.

Bad: Put the corpse on ice, I’m on my way.

Skeppy: What? No, it’s not-- why would I--

~~~~~~~

Tubbo: Tall people: if we are walking together please take into consideration my tiny legs. I can’t keep up with you. Please think of my tiny legs i don’t want to be jogging to keep up with your leisurely stroll you TITANS

Ranboo: Just get a pair of roller skates and hang on to my sleeve, we don’t have all day.

~~~~~~~

Bad: *demon bf that insists on making pacts for every little thing*       

"i will do the dishes... for a price (kissies)"

~~~~~~~~

Skeppy: I like your pants.

Bad: Thanks. They were 50% off.

Skeppy: I’d like them 100% off.

Bad: The store can’t just give clothes away.

Skeppy: That's not what I-

Bad: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Skeppy.

~~~~~~~~

Bad: It just feels amazing to finally spread my legs and be the person that I am.

Skeppy: ... You just said, 'spread your legs'.

Bad: I just said spr- spread my wings.

~~~~~~~

Bad: I thought I told you to stay in the car.

Skeppy: You did. But I thought it was boring, and you were in trouble.

~~~~~~~

Bad: Why me?

Skeppy: Because people like you. You're quiet. You say, ‘excuse me’. You look like little birds help you get dressed in the morning.

~~~~~~~

Bad: We're having another moment, aren't we?

Skeppy: If by a moment, you mean me not wanting to strangle you for the first time since we met, then I guess we are.

~~~~~~~

Bad: We both look very handsome tonight.

Skeppy: You know, if you’d just said that I looked handsome, I would have said, ‘so do you’.

Bad: I couldn’t take that chance.

~~~~~~~~

Bad: Jail's no fun, I'll tell you that.

Skeppy: You've been?

Bad: Once, in Monopoly.

~~~~~~~~

Bad: Is everything all right, Skeppy? You seem distracted. Usually, I get at least a glimmer of a smile from my remarks, the occasional eye roll. I think I got a snort once.

~~~~~~~

DreamXD: We have fun, don’t we, George?

George: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life.

~~~~~~~

Bad: This is the worst thing you've ever done!

Skeppy: You know, you say it so much it's lost all its meaning.

~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Frankly, I would say I'm gayer than you.

Bad: How are you gayer than I am?

Skeppy: Well, I wear a man purse.

Bad: That's not gay! That's hideous! And if you were as gay as I am, you'd know that!

~~~~~~~

Bad, about Skeppy: I don't have a crush on them. They’re just someone I stare at and I like and when they’re not here, it ruins my day.

~~~~~~~

Skeppy: You think I really give a fuck? I can’t even read.

~~~~~~~

Dream: You can de-escalate any situation by simply saying, 'Are we about to kiss?'

Dream: Doesn't work for getting out of speeding tickets, by the way.

~~~~~~~

Dream, motioning to a Halloween display: All these ghosts! All these ghosts! I still can’t find a boo

~~~~~~~

Dream: I’d like to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.

~~~~~~~

Dream: You're right.

George: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

~~~~~~~

Dream: George... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?

George: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.

Dream:

Dream: I wrote sanitize, George.

~~~~~~~

Karl, in a high voice, holding barbie: hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!

Sapnap, in a deep voice, holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you’re staying home and having my kids

Quackity: what the fuck are you guys doing?

Karl: playing systemic oppression

~~~~~~~

Karl, trying to ask Sapnap out: Would you like to stay for dinner?

Quackity: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?

~~~~~~~

Tubbo: I’m doing what I can to jog your memory.

Ranboo: It’s jogging, I guess. Its tiddies are jiggling a little.

Tubbo: Nice

~~~~~~~

Tubbo: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized. 

Ranboo: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely*

Tubbo: That one. I want that one.

~~~~~~

Ranboo: So, I’ve been thinking Tubbo-

Tubbo: That’s dangerous.

~~~~~~~

Ranboo, watching power lines fall down: Tommy, Tubbo! The town is exploding and it’s very pretty!

~~~~~~~~

George: Dream, I don’t think I can handle any more of your tomfuckery.

Dream: Oh yeah? Well I can keep going until you’re all tomfuckered out!

~~~~~~~

Bad: I lost my fish, can you help me find it?

Skeppy, cooking the fish: What? I couldn’t hear you, please speak up.

~~~~~~~~

Bad: *Takes a sip of milk and gags*

Bad: Oh my god, is this expired?

Bad: *Takes another sip of milk*

~~~~~~~~

Skeppy: You have Crayons?

Bad: Yes, I have—

Skeppy: You're— how old are you?

Bad: YES I AM AN ADULT AND I HAVE CRAYONS, I HAVE A BOX OF EMERGENCY CRAYONS IN THE CABINET UNDER THE TV BECAUSE EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS SOMETIMES, OKAY? EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS.

~~~~~~~~

will make more <3

#dsmp incorrect quotes #dream smp incorrect quotes #badboyhalo #skeppy #karl jacobs #sapnap #quackity #skephalo #beeduo #ranboo my beloved #tubbo my beloved #dsmp tommy #Wilbur's in there at some point #mcyt incorrect quotes #mcyt my beloveds #long post #dreamwastaken #georgenotfound #dsmp dnf