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noa-ciharu · 2 years

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FuuKam with ahem, no.33--- i'm testing you how you will make this hot---(?)😎😎 (i know i asked too much but i'm sinful--)

I sinned so much with this one it's unbelievable. TRC setting, nothing much of plot is going on. The plot however...

Also thank you @gabbylyons for helping me chose an outfit for Kamui, it was a tough one because he'd look good in anything. I never called outfit by it's notorious name but if you've been on internet for a while I bet you'll know right off the bat.

Extremely NSFW and kinky so under cut. Look, I planned this to be around 4-5k, somehow it turned 10.5k. It's PWP so all sin and kinks. Maybe I'll put it on ao3 someday, who knows.

33 - "you're not going out dressed like that"

With a yawn Fuuma flipped book pages; hazily skimmed over lines and lines of text. Mind refused to follow. It was what? Only nine in the evening? Absurdity he was already so exhausted but not to say he wasn’t overworking himself during past fortnight. Searching for treasure Yuuko employed him for proved to be no easy feat this time around; candle had to be burnt at both ends.

Leastwise Kamui was by his side, has been for a year or so now; perhaps because of his presence Fuuma felt motivated to work extra hard for few weeks, finish all treasure hunts in least time possible and snatch extra week or two to spend together. Quality time however; they saw each other every day yes, but rarely got chance in last fortnight to actually be together.

Another yawn. Putting finger between current pages he flipped dozen more around; ten more pages till end of chapter, maybe he should push himself a bit more. What was the last thing? Protagonist fainting because someone brought up murder he committed? Way to be subtle. Or maybe he imagined that fatuity? Fuuma leaned back into backrest and groaned; grasped for coffee cup on side-table. He should put book down, call it a day and go to bed; coffee wasn’t doing it for him. Pity however, he wished to spend time with Kamui, even if cuddling and dozing off on couch. He should be done with shower by now? Fuuma didn’t hear water running any longer.

As fate would have it, door creaked the exact moment. Fuuma grabbed book again and tried to concentrate for ten more pages; after that he’d either spend some time with Kamui now that he’s available or go straight to bed. Maybe coax him into joining and have both. Fuuma doubted he had energy for anything more than cuddling or sloppy make-out season.

“I’m going to ground floor to check the mailbox”, Kamui said in passing.

Right, he was expecting a letter from his twin. However, if it hasn’t arrived by late morning chances of letter arriving now were slim. Whatever floats his boat, maybe Kamui wanted to catch a breath of fresh air instead? Fuuma turned page around and mechanically glanced up.

“Alri -”

Words died in throat. Distantly Fuuma discerned bang of book hitting the floor. I have to be dreaming, there’s no other.

Blinking once, then once more Fuuma tried to wash away the jaw-dropping image. Alas, it persisted. Kamui’s back was still turned towards him – naked back. Ends of bow tied around nape slid down bare skin all the way down to small of his back, where dress explicit cut ended. If it was an inch lower, Fuuma had no doubt he’d see crack of his ass. Striking ruby red brought contrast to pale skin and black hair. It looked sinful on Kamui’s slender body. Sight straight out of wet dreams, it made Fuuma’s groin stir considerably.

Damn.

Fuuma sobered up immediately. Mere seconds ago he was considering dozing off but now couldn’t feel more awake. Sleep would certainly be last thing on mind for next couple hours. Fleetingly Fuuma recalled purchasing sexy wool sweater like that many moons ago; a prank, more of a dare. Of course Kamui hissed at him like some offended cat and refused to wear ‘such perversity for him to take pictures to later wank off to’, as he profanely put it. Since then sweeter was collecting dust somewhere in back of drawer; not even within wildest flights of imagination did Fuuma see Kamui wearing it. Voluntary to the boot, no coaxing or dubious consent whatsoever. But now…

Smirk crept up lips, both predatory and triumphant. Gears within mind set into motion. Oh Kamui, you’re not going anywhere like that. Don’t think for a moment I’ll let you.

“You’re not going out dressed like that”, Fuuma commanded in low rough tone as he abruptly stood up. That caught Kamui’s attention; he stopped inches away from door and slowly turned around.

Ah, that image, no words could describe how drop-dead gorgeous Kamui looked. Sleeveless turtleneck sweater clung to him like second skin, only accented curves of his slender body; dress barely covered groin, left Kamui’s bare legs open to unrestrained ogling, something Fuuma planed to do himself. Hell would freeze over before he lets someone else see his lover in outfit that revealing and attention-grabbing.

Still, understatement to say situation felt off. Kamui could be kinky and wanton in bed but never this provocative outside sexual situations. Not to mention libertine, never flaunted himself for others. All Fuuma could see was red, both taunting ruby in front of him and scorching fury within mind’s eye.

Kamui’s voice grounded imaginary rage back to reality.

“I’m not going out”, Kamui responded sharply. Put hands on hips and tried to look self-assured; there was no mistaking slight blush on cheeks.

Sweater rode up thighs; Kamui reached down and readjusted it. Blush intensified, indicator Kamui was, indeed, conscious of how indecent outfit was; as well as implication it carried. Fuuma licked lower lip and took a step forward. Kamui shivered, but then rubbed bare arms and tried to play it of as coldness; adorable but unnecessary, Fuuma knew intimately well what it was all about.

“Just to ground floor”, Kamui murmured under breath and glanced down to carpet, cheeks tiled pink.

I don’t think you will. Fuuma fixated him with predatory look, one that left on place for ambiguity of where his thoughts were. Feast for eyes indeed, especially exposed like that; but not for a second did Fuuma let his stare leave Kamui’s face. Message had to be passed, Kamui had to feel full intensity of that hunter’s fixation, of raw desire in eyes. Pants already felt too tight; deciding to put halt to all coyness and dancing around topic, Fuuma addressed the matter.

“Kamui”, he whispered velvety but didn’t bother masking irritation.

Kamui’s gaze bolted up; their eyes met. His pupils dilated instantly, breath fell short.

“You’re not passing front door in that”, Fuuma repeated roughly, each syllable spelled out accented and slow enough for words to sink in.

Barely audible gasp left Kamui’s lips; few second ticked by before expression shifted from flushed to vexed one; resembled pout more. Almost like he recalled he should act feisty, rather than really feeling that way.

Interesting.

Fuuma felt aroused further at this alleged play-act; they’ll do anything but sleep tonight it seemed. Anger was pushed aside for a second, but not forgotten. Kamui would pay for trying to ruffle him up, one way or another.

“Don’t tell me what to do Fuuma. You don’t control me”, Kamui hissed and tried his best to glare.

Fiery indeed, just the way Fuuma liked. There wasn’t side of Kamui he wasn’t allured to; from coy flirt to rare instance of being docile to wantonly submissive; or boldly aggressive and feisty like now. That side of Kamui evoke a hunter within him; primal instinct to dominate and seduce Kamui into yielding. Is this game we’re going to play? Don’t be surprised if you awaken animal inside of me.

Despite seeing through Kamui’s scheme (more bratty antics fueled by frustration), ire did emerge. Kamui’s rebellious side was one thing, quite another flaunting himself at other. No way Kamui seriously considered going out in outfit that’s basically asking for sex; his kinkier side was reserved for bedroom only, for Fuuma’s eyes only. Bait was laid and he fell right for it; under any other circumstances Fuuma would feel miffed at own predictability, but right now when he’d benefit from it? No way he’d let such salacious opportunity slide.

However that wasn’t to say traces of irritation weren’t present; Kamui chose to play a rather dangerous game.

Fuuma straightened back and aimed to appear as dominating as possible; not to intimidate Kamui, quite the contrary.

“Watch your mouth”, he scolded in guttural tone.

Kamui continued fake-glaring but didn’t protest at all. Surge of triumph swept by at implicit submission. Kamui was leagues ahead of him strength-vise, if he were to seriously retort there would be nothing Fuuma could do but accept. In that manner it was beyond empowering, intoxicating even, to beat someone as strong as Kamui into submission; precisely because it wasn’t fight to begin with, he yielded out of own volition.

Fuuma took a chance to let eyes wander over Kamui’s body once more. Long slim legs, slight curves and hollow of waist – he traced them all before and will so again; very soon. Fuuma felt his erection twitch at sight, only urging on. Pity most of front was covered with red wool; of no account, Kamui’s back was as exposed as one might wish. Fuuma smirked, intelligible desires finally gained shape; gaze bolted up to Kamui’s pretentiously miffed expression.

“Be a good boy and move from that door, I’m not touching you there”, Fuuma commanded.

Not for a second did penetrating stare leave Kamui’s eyes. He visibly shuddered. Oh yes my dear, do submit.

Cheeky smirk crept up lips. In octave lower Fuuma added - “Neighbors won’t hear sounds you make when I’m fucking you. Those are for my ears only”

Flush spread over cheeks, pupils dilated for a heartbeat; yet despite obvious affectedness Kamui tried to remain unaffected; feisty like untamed animal, like he did crave to be tamed. Perhaps that’s precisely why he’s being wayward and purposely instigating sparks of tension. Ah right, it’s been a while since their last time; perhaps even a week, now that he bethought it. Fuuma tended to be one to initiate sexual activities on regular basis; hence thought of Kamui being sexually frustrated never crossed his mind.

Interesting indeed.

In addition, whenever desperate or overall horny, Kamui had inclinations towards aggressiveness and boldness. Fuuma glanced down to Kamui’s groin; slight outline of erection was discernible, if one were to observe with keen eye. Kamui either got aroused by his firmness and dominant side or was hard even before leaving bathroom. Fuuma’s own erection twitched as imagination began to run wild; with ease he silenced those libidinous cravings, or more precisely just postponed them. Flame ignited within veins, in lust and leftovers of rage.

Really, out of all ways to indicate he wanted to be fucked, Kamui chose to evoke protectiveness and possessiveness within him. What was he thinking? Did he really plan to go outside in such revealing outfit and panties in case Fuuma didn’t notice him on time? If he gave a green light (no way of course, but in hypothetical scenario), would Kamui really let other people see him almost naked?

Flame flared up into fire, scorched through very being. Anger partially directed towards Kamui’s boldness to purposely provoke him with something he disliked; all while making him unable to resist. Scarcely ever was he truly irritated but this impudence called for it. Fuuma narrowed eyes and pierced Kamui with a half glare half leer. Don’t think you’ll manage to seduce your way out of this one. Alluring you may be, but I can resist you if situation called it.

And trust me, I will.

Kamui pretended to sigh wearily; murmured something under breath and began pacing towards him. Halted within arm reach and tsked.

“Here, are you hap -”

In a flash Fuuma seized Kamui’s wrists. Startled yelp went over head. Second more and Fuuma managed to hold Kamui’s wrists with one hand; wrapped other around waist and pulled Kamui against himself. I want you, but on my terms only.

“What would you do if neighbor caught you of guard like this?”, Fuuma narrowed eyes and asked firmly.

Pupils dilated, yet no hints of perturbation; raw desire in them. Kamui’s body felt hot against his. Fuuma purposely rubbed thigh over Kamui’s groin; he squeezed eyes shut and grinded teeth, tried to remain unaffected. Yes, he was already hard, no negating that. Grip over wrists tautened, another gasp left lips. Kamui opened eyes and glared, but didn’t try to break free.

“I’d fight back”, Kamui lied through his teeth.

Glare intensified, in response Fuuma smirk broadened; sadistic appetite whetted, he’d make Kamui have a taste of own medicine.

“Like you’re doing now?”, Fuuma offered back in a heartbeat; tone guttural enough to send shivers down Kamui’s spine.

Yearning yes, but perplexed at same time; in all fairness Fuuma was too. Ardency from within burned low, flame of bubbling irritation only fueled by carnal desires. Both primal, both seized too deep, embedded within very soul. Simply fulfilling one of lustful nature wouldn’t do it, not for inner satisfaction, not for serving as lesson to Kamui what buttons shouldn’t be pushed. On other hand denying himself what, in all aspects, belongs to him would be inane; not something he had on agenda, especially not when prurience was residual within blood.

In between and betwixt, perhaps those two desires weren’t that exclusive, intersection in manner of domination did exist. One of forcing not only Kamui’s body into submission, but very soul too. Fuuma wet lower lips. He knew exactly what he wanted to do.

Predatory smirk reached lips, gaze turned into leer; Fuuma added rough grope over waist into mix. Kamui shivered immediately, tried to squeeze legs shut; presumably to calm erection down. Fuuma had no such inhibitions; purposely rubbed their crotches together. Kamui grunted, flush spread over cheeks; Fuuma gazed down to quivering lips, had to control the impulse to lean in and scoop a kiss. It wouldn’t be a peck, it’d be a full blown make-out season; desirable yes, but no space left for romance now; none for slow pace and whispers of devotion.

Kamui closed eyes and tilted head up; stood on tiptoes and clearly expected to be kissed. Fool. Smirk broadened even further, pure triumph coiled within chest.

Right where I want you, unsuspecting and craving.

He abruptly grabbed Kamui by waist. Palms pushed at chest yet all meekly, lacked the bite; Kamui could do better if he truly wanted to break free.

“Fuuma wait! What’s wi - “

In a flash he swirled Kamui around and shoved face into desk. Paper magazine fell down, there was a loud crash of ceramic cup shattering but Fuuma couldn’t care less about that mess at the moment; due to startlement Kamui impulsively stretched arms in front, shoved decorative fake plants down floor as well; oh well, leastwise nothing remained on surface.

Fuuma let eyes roam over Kamui’s body. Unlike front, back was mostly exposed to hungry stares; luckily only his as Kamui was going nowhere in open-back sweater that barley covered ass. Both carnal cravings and leftovers of ire ignited, yet somehow flames fused into desire for domination; for putting Kamui into place yet satisfying his wanton wishes and enormous sexual appetite. Fuuma leaned over Kamui, recaptured wrists and pinned them above head. Free hand toyed with red bow on nape, tracing fingertip over knot like he was going to untie it. Kamui hissed, yet didn’t try to free himself. So fiery yet submissive; perhaps most tempting part of this all was the fact Kamui allowed himself to be dominated.

Cheeky little liar, you want to be hunted like an animal. But are too bashful to admit it either of us, so you’ve opted for provocation in desperate attempt to get ‘punished’. I’ll give you what you want, but first and foremost satisfy my own cravings.

However, Fuuma had qualms whether Kamui was aware of what laid behind his, presumably, impulsive action. Whichever way, he won’t get of the hook so easily, Fuuma would make sure of it.

Lowering over Kamui, Fuuma hushed into his ear -“What if they pushed you down like this, what would you do?”

All hypothetic scenarios, yet he couldn’t stop them from playing out within psyche. Some faceless stranger grabbing Kamui by elbow and dragging into apartment; pushing Kamui down the table and even worse: being horny as he was, Kamui allowing himself to be touched and pleasured. Overwhelming surge of possessiveness and anger emerged at mere imagination. Perhaps said implicit fury kept libidinousness in check for if Kamui was in outfit that kinky under any other circumstances they’d have been on round two by now.

Turning face to side, Kamui rested cheek over desk. Gazed up and regarded him with coy smile. Playful indeed, Fuuma couldn’t wait to put him in place for acting like a brat. Then Kamui spread legs apart, arched back and rubbed ass over his clothed erection. Wordless reply, yet spoke volumes.

Fuuma had to bite back a groan; won’t allow Kamui satisfaction of seeing him affected. Under regular circumstances he’d lavishly praise Kamui for his sexiness and loosen inhibitions; also express urgency to have a taste. But now? No way, all cards will be in his hand.

Sadistic chuckle left Fuuma’s lips. “Figures”, he mocked into Kamui’s nape, then began sliding kisses down spine.

Kamui moaned and writhed at feathery touch; if something so insignificant made him react then he must have been pent-up all along to be this sensitive. And to think Kamui potentially wanted to go out aroused. Hands slid down Kamui’s arms, traveled over sides to waist; palms slid past wool, rested over bare skin. There Fuuma squeezed; simultaneously flickered tongue down Kamui’s spine. High-pitched moan, he arched back and put erotic body of his on display; tried to allure him into temptation. Grip taunted, pained moan left Kamui’s lips. Fuuma squeezed him tighter, at same time grinded against him. Palms shifted a bit higher, red marks could be discerned from where hands were. A pity they’d be gone in mere minutes, bruises left on Kamui’s body could never last. Nonetheless knowledge of them does. Memories of allowing to be tamed and marked will stay with you, of that I have no doubt.

“What a little slut you are, walking around like someone’s wet dream”, Fuuma hushed while tracing pecks and brief sucks down Kamui’s spine; all the way to small of waist where he reached sweater’s hem.

Hmm, should he speed game up? Own arousal urged so, but Fuuma wanted to see how long he could deny Kamui’s desires while keeping own in check. He toyed with hem for a second, let finger slide underneath, just barely to tease; sharp inhale, all in anticipation. Cheeky grin crept up Fuuma’s lips; oh yes, he could and would control Kamui’s libidinous cravings.

Finger retraced from sweater; frustrated groan could be heard instantly; cute, Fuuma though, but won’t grant Kamui what he wants. Fuuma placed fingertip inch above end of tailbone, then oh so slowly glided it up Kamui’s spine; just to let tension build up. Kamui shivered and sweated, whimpered and implicitly urged for more.

Once more Fuuma gripped Kamui’s waist; this time with intention of controlling freedom of movement. Resting knee on desk’s edge, he half knelt over Kamui; lowered over completely and nibbled on earlobe.

“All those men, they love to look. But they can’t touch”

Oh how Kamui whimpered at his voice, it only made Fuuma harden more. Impulsively he rubbed clothed erection against Kamui’s ass; per expected, he wanted to grind back but was unable to. High-pitched moan broke out, one of utter desperation. Fuuma nibbled on earlobe, flickered tongue over it just to hear Kamui whimper again. Nails scraped over heated skin, only enticed Kamui further; he tried to writhe and obtain friction, but couldn’t.

“Do you know why?”, Fuuma let breath hover over Kamui’s cheek.

Waited a second, then growled into ear - “Because you’re mine”

Desperate groan left Kamui’s lips; he tried to rub erection against desk but all in vain, Fuuma stilled him on first thrust; swiftly slid palm down spine and pushed dress down thighs. Ah, he had sneaking suspicion before, but now Fuuma was certain Kamui had no underwear on, not even panties; fire scorched through veins, Fuuma had to inhale to dampen it down. Beyond alluring sight went down to groin, made his cock twitch repetitively. Far from the first time they had sex, yet eagerness and level of desire never wavered; were just as intense as the first time.

Kamui shivered and moaned, arched back and tried to tempt further. Instead of groaning as he’d usual show appreciation, Fuuma let out a devilish chuckle; slid fingertip inside ass crack, all the way down to testicles. Lustful groan combined with rapid thrust mid air, yes they were a delight but Fuuma didn’t plan on satisfying Kamui’s craving so easily or early; he had to earn them.

“Not even panties?”, Fuuma teased and traced finger up to tailbone; skimmed over entrance in process, only to have Kamui writhe and gasp underneath.

Still, mere thought of someone’s shamelessly ogling his lover made Fuuma see red for a moment; let alone if they, for even a second, assume they could touch. Kamui would have their head before Fuuma could even react however; deeply down knew with absolute certainty Kamui wouldn’t allow to be groped by random perverts; never was anything but faithful. Nonetheless, in hypothetical scenario playing out, there… no, merely thinking about it caused additional irritation fueled by protectiveness and possessiveness to surge. For this odd half-roleplay they’ve settled in, more than suitable.

Fuuma removed knee from desk and stood above Kamui; gripped ass cheeks and kneaded them gently at first. Kamui moaned how good touch felt. Yes my dear, be unsuspecting. Grip tautened, fingernails scraped over skin. Moan broke out, gradually altered into scream as pressure intensified.

“Were you hoping someone would grope you like this?”, Fuuma asked firmly, weakened the grip only to squeeze brutally again.

Instead of answering Kamui groaned and stretched arms above head; tried to ground himself on sense of touch.. Whole back was exposed for Fuuma’s hungry stare; heat got to him, he had to unbutton collar; unzip pants too for they felt excruciatingly tight. Boxers had to stay on however, Fuuma doubted he’d be able to prevent himself from slamming into Kamui otherwise. Miffed he may be, but hurting Kamui for real would be uncalled for; something he neither of them wanted. That much he had to keep himself in rein.

Resting palm above groin, Fuuma propped Kamui’s hips up; wool seemed slightly damp over where erection should be, irrefutably Kamui was far more aroused than this amount of foreplay ought to make him. Perhaps being dominated and degraded had more prominent effect than he could anticipate? No matter, Fuuma was grateful for Kamui’s endless sexual appetite. Without sparing second more, Fuuma shoved two finger inside to second knuckle; immediately found out why Kamui was so impatient.

Cheeky grin crept up lips, all self-pleased. Fuuma pushed digits inside to third knuckle; leaned over Kamui and whispered - “Did you finger yourself in the shower?”

No coherent reply, just series of broken mewls and groans. Kamui curved back and began fucking himself on fingers; for time being Fuuma kept digits still, allowed Kamui to pleasure himself. If he were to claim he wasn’t affected by Kamui’s wanton side, he’d be lying. Fuuma felt pulse go rapid, precome dampening boxers and – enough.

This had to stop. With deep exhale he tried to calm alarming level of arousal down; managing to some degree, Fuuma gave Kamui few strokes through sweater then gripped hips and stilled thrusts. As alluring as it is to watch you, I’d rather take control back.

Fuuma eased fingers out, only to slam them back inside. Scream ripped from Kamui’s throat; he tried to grind back but couldn’t. Insides felt loose, with ease he could spread and twist fingers them around. Kamui did a great job of preparing himself, must have taken a while. Within mind Fuuma could picture Kamui, frustrated and horny, trying to find best position to finger himself in; groaning and thrashing around as satisfaction was never reached; could picture water droplets sliding down heated skin, traveling down chest and waist, then teasing even lower; Kamui’s lustful expression and whimper of his name on lips as he – I said enough.

Fuuma hissed sharply and tried to regulate breathing. Arousal scorched inside veins, skin too hot for comfort; beast got unleashed.

Fingers withdrew; Fuuma spread Kamui’s cheek and kissed hole. Flickered tongue over rim but instead of pushing tip in he glided tongue over ass crack to small of back; then sensually licked up spine all the way to nape. Underneath him Kamui was broken mess of pleads and moans; just the way Fuuma loved. He placed lips over Kamui’s neck; nibbled on it before sucking intensely. Simultaneously shoved three fingers inside. Kamui’s body convulsed underneath his, unsystematic mewls and moans falling from lips one after another.

“Were you fantasizing you’re getting fucked?”, Fuuma teased in between the licks and shallow bites.

Prolonged groan from Kamui, followed by high-pitched whine; insides clenched around fingers, Fuuma had to bite back groan of his own. Damn, how much he wished to fuck Kamui relentlessly, it was inhuman; just a little bit more, he’ll endure.

Pace sped up, Fuuma started thrusting fingers in and out repetitively; on each push Kamui grinded back, tried to maximize friction achieved. Sweat rolled down temple, Fuuma was grateful Kamui was moaning and losing himself so much for no way he’d be able to hear how ragged Fuuma’s own breath became. His cock was throbbing at this point, self-control wearing thinner by each moan.

Experimenting with thrusts, Fuuma slowed pace down and curled two fingers. Kamui finally snapped.

“Yes, yes I did!”, Kamui yelled from top of his lungs.

Ah, that delightful voice, he’s been longing to hear it; always so raspy and wretched when they made love. Pity Kamui’s face was concealed from view, but this position was most suitable one for brisk pace and deep swift thrusts; no way he’d go easy on Kamui after that distasteful teasing, point had to be proven. But it won’t be punishment for you, will it? You crave the attention, the roughness and submission. By the time dawn arrives, you’d get your wishes fulfilled, one way or another.

“You’ve been- ahhh b-busy lately”, Kamui managed to murmur in between the gasps and grunts. “We haven’t do-done it… for a w-while”

Cocky smirk reached lips, some of previous anger subdued. Finally Kamui admitted what was evident from start. Really, has it been a week since they last had sex? Fuuma couldn’t believe he lasted that long, especially without noticing (excusable however, seeing as he’s been dead on feet each day in row for close to fortnight now); neglected own lover in a way. No wonder Kamui has been pent up to point of disregarding dignity and seducing him with bratty behavior and provocative clothing.

Explainable, but not excusable. Kamui could have straddled his lap or simply gazed at him with half-lidded eyes and lustful expression – in a heartbeat Fuuma would provide him what both of them itched for. But no, Kamui decided to be bratty and provoke on purpose.

Thumb skimmed over rim, pads massaged inner walls; Fuuma slid free hand inside sweater, encircled fist over Kamui’s erection and rubbed at tip. Kamui moaned loudly, broken yesyesyes and pleasee falling from lips. Reactions stimulating, moans ballad to ears, but Fuuma won’t be stroking him into orgasm; Kamui should consider himself lucky if he gets to cum tonight. One teasing rub, followed by swift stroke; shivers bolted down Kamui’s spine, insides clenched again. Not to risk it and possibly push Kamui over edge, Fuuma released his erection and got up.

Kamui whimpered immediately; turned head around and hushed coarsely - “I got horny and didn’t know what to do…”

Half lidded golden eyes, flushed cheeks, lips parted, saliva dripping from them – he’d never get over erotic expressions Kamui made during sex. Sight went straight to groin, Fuuma felt himself swell even more. Some of anger reemerged too, mostly directed at the fact Kamui could arouse him so deliberately, so effortlessly. Regularly that wouldn’t be an issue, exact opposite, a delight; but it proved to be an hindrance when wanting to establish dominance and control over situation. In far gone state that he was no way Kamui was aware of effect he left, perhaps simply acted on instinct. Whichever way, foreplay had to reach epilogue, otherwise Fuuma feared he might accidentally cum in underwear from sight alone.

“Meaning you became such slut that fingers can no longer satisfy you?”, he demanded, voice velvety.

Kamui gazed back at him with expression so yearning and tantalizing, Fuuma felt resolve shatter bit by bit. Fuck, he should pull erection out, enter Kamui and take him animalistically all until dawn. Reached for elastic band on boxers and – no, not yet.

Emotional satisfaction was as desirable here as sexual, he craved for Kamui’s soul to yield along with body (especially as he presented latter for Fuuma’s touch and gaze long ago); for those reasons Fuuma forced himself to endure a minute or two more. Cupped himself and pressed erection back in desperate attempt to clam it down. It did little help.

“Answer me”, Fuuma insisted rougher this time around; twisted fist around and spread fingers inside of Kamui.

Eyes squeezed shut, eyelashes fluttered over flushed cheeks; so erotic, no way Kamui wasn’t aware of how sexy he looked during sex. Lips quivered, whimper after whimper falling from them. Fuuma eased digits out, only to slam them back in.

He rubbed against that spot. Golden eyes flew open immediately.

“Yes! Fingers can no longer satisfy me!”, Kamui yelled and frantically nodded.

Fuuma smirked. Oh yes, just like that Kamui. Admit only I can satisfy you. Fingers withdrew; slight grunt, otherwise Kamui didn’t react. Easing boxers down hips Fuuma pulled himself out and – ah the chilly room air against heated skin, only made him throb further. Not to mention how Kamui’s pupils fixated on his erection, then abruptly dilated. He groaned and licked lips – damn it, Kamui’s loosen inhibitions and wantonness only hardened him more.

Enough with it.

Fuuma stepped behind Kamui and brought his ass directly against himself; shoved Kamui’s head back into desk. Sensing how rapid pulse down on himself was, Fuuma didn’t want to risk entering Kamui and climaxing in same moment; little bit of additional teasing for sake of buying himself time to dampen down critical levels of arousal within blood wouldn’t hurt. No need to prepare himself, tip was already drenched with precome. Fuuma positioned himself but instead of entering rubbed head over rim. Kamui groaned and tried to thrust back onto him; predictable. Palm rested over small of back and held Kamui in place.

“And what would you say if someone were to do this?”, Fuuma insisted in firmly. Rubbed head over entrance once more to prove the point; electricity bolted down spine, Fuuma inhaled deeply as to ground himself.

Per expected, Kamui tried to turn head around and tempt into giving in with wanton expression. Fuuma raked fingers through his hair and tautened the grip. Even if most of previous ire evaporated from system, desire to tease persisted.

“Fuuma, fuck me pleaseee”, Kamui begged shamelessly, tried to provoke him.

Enticing yes, but not the appropriate answer. Of course noone beside him would ever be doing this to Kamui, that wasn’t up to dispute. But point here was to frustrate Kamui into complete obedience; as well as get him to admit who he belonged to.

“Wrong answer. Try again”, Fuuma commanded, combed through Kamui’s hair as to confuse him with polar opposite approaches. Shifted hips and grinded shaft over ass crack; both of them grunted at electrifying sensation.

“And this time think with your head instead of ass”, Fuuma added mockingly.

Moan or two, but otherwise Kamui kept silent. State of arousal urged Fuuma on, he’d go insane if he had to wait a second more; with the way he was whimpering and writhing, Kamui wasn’t in any better shape. Just unlike him, Fuuma was the one who called the shots. He rubbed tip over rim and insisted.

“Again my little slut, what would you say?”

Kamui let out a mewl, sounded closer to wail. Adorable how far gone he was, but Fuuma won’t give in; he stroked Kamui’s hair as to encourage him to discard little bit of dignity he had left.

“Only Fuuma can do that”, Kamui murmured barely audibly, voice ragged.

“Good boy”, Fuuma rushed out and stroked Kamui’s hair for a split second. Not wasting a moment more, grabbed Kamui by hips and swiftly entered to the hilt.

“Ahhhh – yes yes, ohmygoshyesss!”

Remotely Fuuma discerned Kamui screamed; yet heard none of it.

World narrowed. Nothing existed other than utter pleasure shooting through veins. Complete victory, he couldn’t focus on anything other than how to get more. Fuuma growled, eased erection out until only head was in; then slammed inside. Pulled out again; pushed at full speed. Again. And again.

On each thrust Kamui groaned and grinded back; Fuuma could feel how insides clenched around his cock on every push, how close actually both of them were. Of no matter, he’d be damned if he stopped now. Fuuma briefly pulled out; taunted grip over Kamui’s hips, levitated ass up air; no need to instruct Kamui, he arched back on his own; tried to make himself as erotic and desirable as possible.

Then Kamui glanced coyly backwards and moaned his name. Last fraction of self-control shattered.

Fuuma thrust back into him; brutally, without care for anything. Thankfully for both, Kamui had fair share of masochistic tendencies, hence relished in rough treatment. At one particular rough thrust Kamui shuddered and screamed; insides clamped down on him rather hard, Fuuma had to pause for few seconds as to delay orgasm.

“Harder pleasee!”, Kamui begged breathlessly and shifted hips repetitively; tried to mimic thrusts as he was held still and obtain pleasure.

“Did I allow you to thrash around?”, Fuuma asked firmly and pulled out.

Of course, need for domination and discipline served as ulterior motive, simply a way to buy himself some time. Kamui mewled and turned head around to glare at him; with flushed face, disheveled hair and bruised lips, he appeared more debauched than intimidating.

“Damn it Fuuma, stop being a tease!”, Kamui hissed at him. Wrong move.

Cute but Fuuma didn’t have disobedience in plan. Fuuma lowered hands from hipbones to ass cheeks; massaged them for a second, all with ulterior motive of deceiving Kamui into false sense of security. Spank echoed through room; only afterwards did Kamui scream.

“Still didn’t learn how to behave?”, Fuuma scolded while gripping cheeks; scraped nails over skin firm enough for stings to emerge. Kamui relished in that ache, Fuuma was intimately acquainted with his masochistic side.

“Do I have to bend you over knee and spank?”

“No…”, soft moan, it set fire within veins.

Fuuma was partially expecting Kamui to ask to be spanked. Won’t some as a surprise, they both knew intimately well how enticing Kamui responded to controlled pain during sex. Oh well, some other time for sure, but now he had other priorities at hand. Fuuma hastily unbuttoned shirt and pushed it down shoulders; leaned over Kamui until no space was left between their bodies; Kamui’s skin was as equally heated and sweaty.

“If so then behave”, Fuuma hushed and kissed Kamui’s shoulder; skin tasted salty under lips. Without a warning slammed inside.

Before Kamui could scream Fuuma shoved two fingers inside his mouth; pushed them in and out in tandem with thrusts. Other hand went under sweater; immediately latched onto nipples. Already erected, Fuuma realized pleasingly; rolled left one in one direction, then another; grasped between thumb and index finger and pulled. Muffled moan passed lips, insides clenched down on him; Fuuma squeezed eyes shut and grunted, forced himself to slower the pace. Fuuma positioned fingers over tongue and thrust them deeper down throat; simultaneously glided thumb over nipple and pressed down. Wheeze followed by desperate gasp, Kamui sank fangs into fingers.

Pain surged; unlike ache when Kamui bites his neck, this one didn’t arouse, simply hurt. Good, otherwise he’d be pushed over edge, no doubt about that. Fuuma kept himself as deep as possible, barely eased out on backward thrusts; on each push made sure head brushed against prostate. Kamui whimpered and writhed, tried to catch up with the pace. Fangs caught over wound again, Fuuma winced; stilled thrusts for a second and pulled fingers out Kamui’s throat.

“Lick them clean”, he commanded coarsely.

Kamui obeyed immediately; flickered tongue up fingertips, licked trails of blood. Fuuma pinched his nipple rather hard, just to hear him moan. Tongue traced up digit, lapped over sensitive skin between middle and index finger; then poked into bite-mark.

Ah, sweet ache shot through body, only served as further stimulation; strange how touch on such mundane places could arouse so. If possible he swelled even more, pulse down on erection going rapid. Fuuma squeezed eyes shut an hissed as – ah to hell with holding back. Without a warning he shoved fingers past Kamui’s lips; bit Kamui’s nape and began fucking him for real.

Thrusts gained speed and ferocity; by no means did Fuuma hold back. On each push insides squeezed around him; so tight, so hot. More. On each pull head rubbed over rim; sensitive spot, Kamui writhed each time. He overpowered Kamui entirely, trapped between desk and his far larger body; the heat between them, it was unbearable, so alluring. More. Fuuma shifted hips, changed angle of thrusts; aimed to rub against that one spot that set Kamui aflame. Must have found it as Kamui’s whole body suddenly shook; thighs trembled, lips squeezed and sucked over fingers. More. Just a bit more. With free hand Fuuma aggressively rubbed and pinched nipples, tried to drive Kamui insane with pleasure; positioned thumb over left one and mercilessly pushed. Kamui mewled, would have screamed if weren’t for fingers inside mouth.

Fuuma let out a growl. Triumph surged; pleasure both sexual and of emotional kind. Primal craving fulfilled, Kamui was completely dominated, physically and mentally. Kamui let out a wail, followed by series of muffled whimpers; his whole body sweated and trembled; felt so so good. Shifting head from nape to ear, Fuuma hushed praises into Kamui’s ear; not like those words were processed, Kamui was in far to gone state to focus on anything but carnal pleasure imposed on him. Leaned forwards even more, let breath ghost over Kamui’s cheek; licked tear and placed kiss below eye. Pulled erection entirely, waited few seconds; then entered to the hilt.

“You’ve been a bad boy, you know that?”, Fuuma whispered next to Kamui’s cheek; broken moan in response, it was all Kamui could mutter in the moment. Pity his face was concealed from view, it must be out of wet dreams.

Nails scraped over nipples; Fuuma tries to systematically push and pull them, but lost focus. Arousal was eating him alive as well, lust scorching within blood. Minor miracle he hasn’t climaxed so far, given he didn’t have any release for over a week; still, with how heated and swollen to point of aching his cock was, Fuuma knew he wouldn’t last for too long.

Kamui tried to rub himself over desk but couldn’t; it’ll be beyond arousing to see him cum over himself like an animal, completely untouched. Saliva coaxed fingers, tongue chaotically swirled one direction then another; clearly Kamui had troubles catching up with pace; evidently overwhelmed. I would have granted any depraved wish of yours, all you had to do was ask. However not in bratty way you did.

Heat rushed to groin, pulse down on himself going mile per hour; grunt and groans were impossible to be contained, Fuuma was no longer in control of himself. Yet still, he craved the domination, the utter power over this one special person who tried to turn tables on him; tried to wake up a beast inside of him. A bit deeper, he itched for more.

Strangely enough, he was denying Kamui that depraved desire but somehow ended up fulfilling it. He should pull away and reestablish the power dynamic and – electricity bolted down spine, sweet ache spread through veins.

To hell with teasing. Dominance allured, but sexual gratification and urgency of his desire did just as equally. Just a few more thrusts and he’ll finally obtain the sweetest release. Kamui was close too, Fuuma could feel how he trembled and whimpered; how saliva dripped down lips as he thrust fingers in and out. How insides clenched around him, how amazing it all felt; threatened to bring him over edge at any second. Just a little bit more and -

No.

Not like this.

I want this sense of domination and triumph to last.

At last moment Fuuma gathered enough willpower to control his desire; all because he’d be controlling Kamui’s in process too. Heartbeat later withdrew in all senses; stood up and pressed palm over himself as to calm erection down. Seconds away from orgasm, he could see the pulse down on his cock; great timing indeed. Fuuma rubbed fingers down trousers, tried to clean saliva and remains of blood; leastwise focus himself on anything but how alluring Kamui’s body looked.

Few more seconds passed before Kamui grasped onto lack of sensations. The moment he did -

“Nooo!”, scream echoed around them. Kamui raised on elbows and turned around.

Ah that sight, if it didn’t make him cum immediately then nothing would. From flushed cheeks to debauched appearance, there wasn’t a thing Fuuma didn’t like. Half-lidded golden eyes gazed up at him, prurience and desperation clear as day in them. Saliva slid down chin, lips bruised and parted as he desperately tried to regain breath; wasn’t the only one, Fuuma could barely regulate his panting and pulse. Red sweater still covered most of front but was hoisted up to stomach, revealed exactly how hard and yearning Kamui was.

Damn it, don’t look so tempting.

“Ah, don’t stop… Fuuma p-please”, Kamui managed to whisper in between the panting; levitated arms towards him, irrefutable invitation.

Beg went down to his groin, Fuuma had to clench muscles on stomach to prevent himself from cumming on spot. No, this had to stop. The sooner, the better. Control had to be establish, point to be proven; game was still on after all. And don’t think for a second I’ll let you win.

Wrapping one arm around waist and other under thighs, Fuuma scooped Kamui up. How his body was so light yet held so much power and strength, Fuuma had no clue. Startled yelp passed lips but Kamui didn’t protest for real; even rested palms on his chest and gazed up coyly. So tantalizing, Fuuma could barely resist.

Kamui swallowed and cleaned his throat, clearly wanted to say something. Fuuma placed finger over his lips and whispered huskily - “Shh, let me take you to bed”

In couple of second they made it to the bedroom. Fuuma gently lowered Kamui down sheets; tried to raise himself up but Kamui wrapped arms around shoulders and pulled him in; moaned his name and tried to urge on. Ah, beyond obvious what Kamui wants. Fuuma desperately wished to take him relentlessly again too and he will – but on his and his terms only.

Brief kiss on lips distracted Kamui, lured into false sense of safety with predictability. With ease Fuuma pulled away.

“Be a good boy and wait for me”

With that Fuuma turned away from bed and strolled towards closet. Involuntary shivered for sweat already dried on naked chest; cold night indeed. Still, same couldn’t be said for his lower body; uncomfortable to pace around with unzipped pants and erection out on open, but hell would freeze over before he’d tuck himself back into pants when this hard. Fuuma took a chance to glance down on himself. Damn, he could hardly recall seeing his cock this swollen or angry shade of red; no wonder he was throbbing so much. Of no matter, he’ll obtain release very soon, could endure until then; willpower flared up by primal desire for domination, otherwise he doubted this much resolve would be found. Brutality of orgasm and sexual delight will be salacious, but they alone would provide no inner relish, just one of body.

We can do better than that, don’t we Kamui?

Kneeling down he pushed aside few boxes and – ah there it is. Fuuma hooked finger into bag and drew it closer; hastily rummaged until fingertips glided over something fluffy. Ah yes, exactly what he needed. Fuuma eased on pair of plush red handcuffs; wasting no time searched for other pair and matching set of keys. With divided attention payed attention to lewd sounds filling the room; one of strokes over skin and badly muffled groans. Needn’t turn around and check visually, Fuuma knew for the fact Kamui was touching himself.

Sadistic grin crept up lips, almost predatory. Fuuma was no fool, he knew Kamui’s libidinous nature and poor resistance to temptation rather well. Bait was purposely laid and he fell for it; like a moth to the flame. Every break or rules craved punishment and leftovers of rage he felt before were more than enough to provide necessary ruthlessness and dominance for that.

Gathering all items needed Fuuma raised up; turned around and confirmed his suspicions. With dress shoved up chest, Kamui was pinching nipple with one hand and stroking himself with other; barely audible grunts and moans falling from lips, yet still detectable. Quite a sight, Fuuma felt his own cock twitch in response; it had to reach epilogue soon (such buzzkill if Kamui got to orgasm now, it’ll spoil vast majority of what Fuuma had in store for him). Seeing as Kamui’s eyes were squeezed shut as pleasure washed over features, Fuuma took a chance to sneak up to him.

One step. Then another. In a heartbeat he seized Kamui’s wrist. Golden eyes flew open, startlement and lust equally palpable in them.

“Did I say you can touch yourself?”, Fuuma scolded; even went as far to narrow eyes and frown, all to establish dominance over someone who very much was epitome of headstrongness.

In a flash Fuuma handcuffed wrist to bed frame; pushed key in and sealed the cuffs. Kamui thrashed around instantly. Could break free anytime with that vampire strength of his if he wanted to; pair of toy cuffs meant for bedroom were no match for him. They both knew protest was just for show, nothing more; only ignited fire from within.

“I need to cum so so much!”, Kamui yelled and glared at him. Miffed yes, but retorts lacked the bite.

Kamui bolted free hand down to his cock; grabbed tip and stroked with such ferocity and swiftness Fuuma thought he’d orgasm from first jerk alone. With ease Fuuma captured that wrist too. Needless to say, if Kamui were really putting up a fight he’d be one handcuffed to bed; telltale little minx yearned to be beaten into submission, craved this roughness and discipline; to be punished like an animal. You’ll evoke a hunter within me disobedient like that. I guess that’s what you’ve wanted from the very start, just didn’t have enough dignity to ask directly.

Lowering tone even more, Fuuma scolded once more - “Such a brat, you never listen”

Both wrist ended up cuffed to bed; Kamui tested restrains but quickly concluded they won’t budge; was forced to lay down and accept his fate. Fuuma rested palm on his stomach, skimmed it up and hoisted sweater up chest as far as material allowed. Before Fuuma had chance to intake erotic sight, Kamui rested foot over chest and kicked; all meek for he knew exactly how brutally Kamui could shove him backwards if full strength was used; nothing but kitten play, however teasing had flame on its own.

“Fuck, I was so close! Let me go!”, Kamui protested and thrashed around.

Ah, they were back at square one, weren’t they? Apparently Kamui could be docile only when he had fingers or cock down his ass for otherwise even when aroused there was hardly taming him.

Fuuma gripped his chin and brought them face to face.

“Behave”, he threatened; made sure tone was deep enough to send shivers down Kamui’s spine.

Nonetheless that didn’t put him in place. Kamui glared and hissed back - “Fucking sadist”

Disobedience both irritated and enticed. Temptation to slam inside Kamui and fuck him like an animal was too damn high; being bratty and horny as he was, Kamui would relish in that brutality and briskness. They’ve had fast rough sex countless times before, one more repeat would be desirable but satisfactory only from hormonal perspective. Sight allured too much, Fuuma had to get up from bed.

He paced towards bag; knelt down and searched for toy that could serve as further punishment. Flogger? Nah, they weren’t in doggy style anymore. Butt plug? Kamui would cum in a second if anything entered him now. Vibrator and anal beads were also a no. That elegant red collar with bow would look breathtaking but he’d have to untie Kamui to take turtleneck off him right now. Something leather under fingers, Fuuma fetched it and -

Ah, this one could do. Kamui hated (but loved the resulting sensations; cheeky little liar) anything that served as orgasm denial, especially cock-rings; this time he’ll absolutely lose it. If I monopolize all your desires, I wonder how much would pass before my name is only thing on your mind. I wonder how far up high can you go. Cheeky grin reached lips, anticipation surged. Fuuma got up and returned to bed; sat beside Kamui’s waist and caressed him; fooled.

“You’re basically begging to be punished”, Fuuma whispered velvety and combed through Kamui’s hair; drenched in sweat, even a bit knotty, only logical given what they’ve been doing until now.

Kamui closed eyes and moaned; rapidly thrust hips up air and tried to reach orgasm. Level of his desperation was adorable, only begged to be teased more. Fuuma kept on petting and caressing Kamui, all over non-erogenous zoned; gave Kamui no means of reaching orgasm. The moment Fuuma concluded Kamui relaxed even a tiny bit, he changed the tactic.

Hand bolted down to Kamui’s erection; immediately prolonged moan passed lips. Kamui’s eyes flew open, pupils dilated; silent begs on lips yet no need to express desires verbally, expression and yearning in eyes spoke volumes. Instead of stroking into orgasm, Fuuma wrapped leather over base; only when snap fell in place did Kamui realize what has happened.

“Damn you to hell”, Kamui hissed; glared and squirmed around, all meek effort to break free.

Kamui’s feisty attitude only served as further incitement. There were no more reasons to postpone his urgency anymore; Fuuma got up and swiftly eased trousers and boxers down legs; socks followed shortly afterwards. The way Kamui was sizing him up, shamelessly letting eyes roam over his body – only added more fuel to fire; they’ve had fair share of kinky prolonged foreplay and pauses during sex, this wasn’t anything novel; yet Fuuma could scarcely recall ever being this aroused, this hard and aching.

Kamui fixated gaze down on his cock, blushed and licked lips. Bold indeed; Fuuma leered at him and chuckled. He’d be damned if he waits a second more. Fuuma walked around bed and sat between Kamui’s spreed legs.

Damn the sight, no amount of fantasizing could prepare him for erotic Kamui could look when sexually frustrated and constantly having his desires denied; desperation suited him well, especially when Kamui’s insatiable appetite was added into mix.

He knelt and raised up; purposely loomed over Kamui, served difference in their positions as reminder who called the shots here. Fuuma let eyes roam over Kamui’s body in similar starved fashion Kamui checked him out minute prior; didn’t bother hiding inhibitions, let Kamui feel intensity of predatoriness and carnality in it.

“Watch your mouth. I’m not letting you go until you learn how to behave”

Kamui shuddered at lowness of tone. Yes, show me how affected you really are. Fuuma gripped Kamui’s thighs and lifted legs up; hooked them over shoulders. Kamui gasped, his pupils dilated; surely expected to be penetrated at any moment given position they were in. Cock-ring wouldn’t be enough to prevent Kamui from cumming, Fuuma knew that for the fact; as desirable as fucking Kamui senseless for hours and hours would be, it’ll be equally addicting to be in full control of Kamui’s wants and body. For that reason he’d delay second round of penetrative sex for hour or so.

Fuuma pushed Kamui’s legs together; instead of entering him pushed cock between his thighs. Leaned over Kamui, bent his legs at knees and started thrusting erection in between thighs.

Ah the utter bliss, the ecstasy spreading through veins; victorious smile reached lips, Fuuma closed eyes and smirked. Clearly didn’t feel as amazing as thrusting inside Kamui’s ass or mouth was, but definitely beat jacking off. Still, the novelty and kinkiness act spiced things up, Fuuma knew immediately he’d last for minute top. Especially with the way Kamui was gazing up at him, pleading look drenched in raw desperation; Fuuma couldn’t recall Kamui ever gazing at him with that much prurience.

“Ahh,-ha, you h-have no… clue h-how sexy you lo-look”, Fuuma praised, voice broken in tandem with thrusts; even to his own ears voice sounded way too wretched, way too coarse.

Tip caught between thighs on each pull; he was so sensitive underneath head, each time sparks ignited. On each push Fuuma groaned; squeezed eyes and watched white dots play behind eyelids. Precome formed at slit, some even slid down thighs to Kamui’s erection; temptation to rub their cocks together was high, but Fuuma forced himself to recall original goal.

One particular thrust sent electricity down spine; Fuuma closed eyes and growled. In surge of utter pleasure didn’t notice how rough he was gripping Kamui’s thighs until he started moaning and writhing underneath. Such enticing reaction, Fuuma craved a repeat. He dug fingernails into skin and sped up trusts.

Kamui’s back arched from mattress; eyes flew wide open and saliva slid down lips; gasp after moan falling from them, all ballad to ears; only aroused Fuuma more. Sweat and shivers covered body, all heat rushed to groin; it was all dead game now, only matter of time when he’ll be pushed over edge. Fuuma brought Kamui’s legs as close to himself as possible; picked up pace and stated thrusting towards climax. Kamui’s body shook due to intensity of his thrusts; things squeezed tighter around him, sensation so overwleming it was a wonder how he has’t climaxed from it. Growl ripped from throat; in response Kamui whimpered and mewled.

So enchanting. So breathtaking. So mine.

“You b-belong – ah, to me Kamui, don’t e-ever… forget that”, Fuuma reminded hoarsely.

Kamui didn’t vocalize approval but squeezed eyes shut and nodded frantically. He could do better, but when lust at what little of coherent thoughts were left, Fuuma decided it was good enough.

Room around lost its color, nothing existed except two of them and raw lust within veins. Muscles on lower stomach clenched, telltale he’s alarmingly close to orgasm. Fuuma let eyes wader over Kamui’s body. More. Mostly naked chest, glistering due to sweat; oscillating up and down in rhythm with his thrusts, nipples stood up erected, pleading to be played with; he will very soon. Now he needed more. Just a few more pushes. More. Sweater hoisted up to chest and neck, color matching one of fur on handcuffs; arms restrained above head, only made Kamui appear more submissive and docile. Pulse on himself went rapid, Fuuma could feel cock twitch uncontrollably. Harder, just a bit more. Gaze lowered to Kamui’s lewd expression and -

Wave of pleasure toppled over edge. Fuuma knew once he halted all movements he’d start cumming. He closed eyes and welcomed the sensation. One thrust, then couple of swift and ferocious few more before he stilled. World shattered around him. All Fuuma could see was black.

No amount of fantasizing could prepare him for brutality of that orgasm. In one wave he started releasing long and hard down on Kamui; some of cum caught on thighs and stomach, but most ended over Kamui’s face and chest. Speed must have caught him of guard for he didn’t even close his eyes and mouth. Fuuma held Kamui’s thighs in place while he was pumping even more seed; he couldn’t recall ever climaxing this long, perhaps holding back for a week had some benefits to it. Orgasm so self-shattering whole body went numb; vision blurred at edges, distantly Fuuma heard someone groan but couldn’t tell who. Even if he no more semen was released, Fuuma still felt his cock pulse, was still going through orgasm.

Little death indeed.

World stopped. Nothing existed for couple of seconds beside rapid hammering of his heart. Nothing but sweetest post-coital bliss within veins. Nothing but panting and sweat cooling down on heated skin. Vision returned gradually. Fuuma wiped sweat from forehead and showed bangs backwards; shower will be dire need later on. He felt so satisfied, yet so so numb and detached. Remotely Fuuma concluded he was grinning all along. Maybe he should let post-orgasmic euphoria sedate entirely and -

“Please”, desperation in Kamui’s voice grounded him back to reality.

Fuuma finally properly looked at Kamui. Debauched was first thing that came to mind. Understatement to say Kamui was covered with semen; so thick and sticky, given how mind-blowing and long orgasm felt, no wonder he came bucket. Dress was officially ruined, no amount of washing would save it at this point. Kamui’s release was yet to be granted however; with how swollen and red his erection seemed, Fuuma couldn’t help wondering if leather ring would serve any purpose. Sniffle caught attention, momentarily made him bold gaze from groin to face.

Tears slid down flushed cheeks. Lips quivered and eyes glistered; all due to denied sexual gratification, all frustration.

“Fuuma please”, Kamui pleaded, voice beyond wretched. If it weren’t for refractory period, Fuuma knew without a doubt he’d get hard in a second.

Instead of fulfilling Kamui’s urgent desires, Fuuma got up, paced around bed and leaned over Kamui. Hope flashed over features instantly; fool. Do you really thinking one I got drunk on utter sense of power I’ll hand it over so freely?

Fuuma chuckled; let fingers trace over cuffs. Sinister grin crept up lips; without a warning got up.

He ignored lewd calls of his name; strolled straight to the bathroom. Better do this quick if he didn’t want Kamui’s patience to wear thin and snap; it’d bring such anticlimactic epilogue to their bed play but it’ll be fair, he’d have no rights to protest if his lover called for the halt. Fuuma drenched one corner of towel, then hastily cleaned himself. Washed face for a second and returned to the bedroom.

Thankfully Kamui remained cuffed to the bed; everything was in place. Fuuma sat beside Kamui and rubbed semen from his face; one on chest, waist and thighs could stay however, not like they won’t be taking shower later on.

Whimper after whimper passed lips; needn’t say anything, Fuuma could read him like open book. Especially now, when Kamui was aroused to point of crying and begging. He bent legs backwards and tried to rub erection over own tight; such desperate move it was more amusing; but just as enticing. Fuuma pushed his legs down and regarded Kamui with cheeky grin. Instead of hissing and glaring he teared up. So adorable, how much Fuuma wished to tease him more, it was inhuman.

“You know Kamui”, Fuuma began nonchalantly as he got up from bed.

Strolled towards bag with sex toys; crouched down and rummaged through it once again. Behind him Kamui moaned and pleaded further; he knew intimately well what depravities laid in this beg, of course Kamui put two and two together. Yes my dear, game is just getting started.

“You should have through about consequences of your actions a bit more”

Something silken skimmed over hand. Fuuma caught one end and pulled cloth out. Ah the blindfold; yes this one could do. Even if he preferred observing Kamui’s lewd reactions, sensory deprivation would only heighten the stakes by arbitrariness of touch.

Their bedroom wasn’t too big, meaning Kamui saw what he held in hand. High-pitched whimper confirmed that suspicion. Fuuma grinned sadistically. Post-orgasmic bliss was slowly evaporating from system, very soon he’d be up for round two.

“You should have thought a bit more what game you were starting before provoking me”, Fuuma kept on his monologue while searching for more items. All impact play toys were out of question in this position; yes he could spank Kamui’s thighs but relish laid in playing with his ass too. No matter, some other time.

“You craved to be stripped of all dignity and principles, fucked roughly like a slut that you pretend not to be but at very core are”

Still, sadism from within evoke; he might have decided to not whip Kamui with anything, but Kamui didn’t know that. For those reasons Fuuma eased out nastiest looking tail whip. Far more skill on his side would be needed for properly handling this one with care (as well as aftercare that was needed); maybe one day, but certainly not now. Fuuma purposely lifted toy up; from room’s other corner heard Kamui gasp.

“And we both know it”, Fuuma accented words by experimentally flogging whip mid air; snap echoed through the room.

He partly expected Kamui to seriously retort or beg for him to not use toy as brutal as that one; but that didn’t happen. Fuuma shoved hand into bag and tried to find something he’d really use. Hand brushed against something raw cold, instantly made him hiss. Ah, temperature and sensation play in one, that one would work amazingly with blindfold. Fuuma retrieved metal pinwheel from bag but pushed it on night table behind lamp; concealed from view. Now, they could start once again.

This time completely on Fuuma’s terms. No longer was he aching and aroused of his mind, seduced by Kamui’s coy yet provocative invitations. This time he was in full control over himself whereas Kamui was one whose blood was boiling with lust.Tables have switched in my favor, I’m afraid.

“So don’t pretend otherwise, my dear”, Fuuma whispered in honeyed tone. Gathered tail whip and black blindfold and paced back to bed.

Fuuma sat beside Kamui’s head; whipped tear sliding down cheek with thumb and combed through bangs. Kamui’s eyes fixated nowhere in particular, perhaps he was far to gone to concentrate on anything. Pushing bangs aside, Fuuma leaned in and kissed his forehead; then placed blindfold over face and fastened behind head. Sight straight out of wet dreams, Fuuma felt first stings of arousal emerge. Kamui whimpered and squirmed around a bit, but otherwise remained obedient; nothing else was optional, perhaps Kamui finally grasped he should behave, lay back and look as alluring as possible. Good, Fuuma intook with delight.

Allow me to give you and deny you what you want.

“Now lay back and enjoy your punishment”

#and so they sinned till the dawn #day after Fuuma told Yuuko he can't do work bc he has intense aftercare to do #thanks for the ask!#tsubasa chronicle #fuukam

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bylightofdawn · 1 year

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So my mother stopped by and kidnapped me to 'return' a few things which turned into a multi-hour, multi-store trawl where yes, she did return a couple of items and then bought MORE shit. I mean, the walmart trip was fine, she needed dog food and then she needed new sheets for the new bed she hasn't even bought yet. And then we found out Tuesday Morning is closing down which is kinda lowkey sad because that was a part of my childhood. My grandma loved that place, so does my mom, so we went there and got more shit and then it was off to Kohls. Theoretically to pay off her Kohls card but more shopping happened. She and her husband got their tax returns. How the fuck do they get like 5K between the two of them on retirement/social security and I as a single person working 40 hours a week get like 500 bucks?

She made the fatal mistake of asking me to start ordering her some vans tennis shoes which they didn't have in her size as Kohl's that she wanted and then stopped halfway through because she has ADD so I ended up purchasing them as a mother's day gift which she doesn't know about. It won't get there in time but she legit stonewalled me when I asked her what she wanted for mother's day.

All this to say I didn't get home till after 8 and I've been trying to edit but I've only managed the first pass through. This chapter is definitely NOT getting posted today. Which, that's fine. I also ducked out and bought a couple of pork bahn mi for dinner and lunch tomorrow while she was at Kohls.

I really want to finish editing this chapter but NGL I am in a lot of pain and am struggling to keep my eyes open at this point. Fuck waking up at 8am. I did it for years but hell it's so hard to go back to waking up early. And 8 is the max, I don't know how people can wake up at 6am. My insane brother wakes up at like 4am or 5am. I don't know how he does it. Of course, he's a nutter who is working full time doing 12 hour days at the hospital, has a wife and kids AND is putting himself through his masters program so that crazy fuck is operating on 4 hours of sleep a night for the past four years. I don't know how he does it. It exhausts me just thinking about his lifestyle.

Yeah I think I'm just going to admit defeat and throw in the towel tonight, I'm getting nothing meaningful done here. Depending on what time I wake up tomorrow I might do a second run through before work or over lunch. Or if not, I'll just do it on Sunday. It's not like I have this firm promise of which day I will post stuff. And I hate to say it, but like other people, the lack of people really interacting with my work is a tiny bit demoralizing. Sure, I'll get some kudos but no one really seems to be commenting so it definitely feels a bit like I'm just putting my stuff out into the void.

Which, a big part of me feels like you should write fanfiction expecting praise or comments. But another part does appreciate, I guess, the acknowledgment or validation I'm not just writing for myself, if that makes sense? I dunno, it's a weird thing to try and put into words.

#life of el #el writes #fanfic related musing #this is a hot mess of a post #wow I rambled about a lot of different stuff

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runveganwankerrun · 1 year

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Sat 19th Nov '22

Butterflies in the stomach pretty much constantly at the moment re London. I got on t'interweb and booked a hotel as close to the start as I could afford. It (like the Manchester one) is no payment up front and free cancellation. Thank goodness I've been saving for a couple of years, putting pound coins in a money box. I think I can cover both hotel stays with the contents of that money box.

Today started with an early run. Up at 6.45am and out for 5k. As I've been finfing recently, I really want to run the night before I go out, but the morning of, I could very easily be tempted to just lie on in bed. This morning however, thought of possibly doing Londaon, never mind Manchester, got me up and out. I thought about starting out a bit faster than the rest of the week. I am supposed to do one slightly faster paced run. All this morning proved to me is that I have no idea how to run to feel. I was not faster at all. And I've no intention of even trying tomorrow. I'm out on a social run and I will already be feeling the pressure of running with other people, never mind adding pace to that.

This morning was cold enough to need long sleeves and no shorts. Definately seeing the Winter start to think about arriving. Positive to come from the run today was that, as much as I still don't enjoy the actual run, I didn't feel bad afterwards. I am getting fitter.

I feel good about my food again. After my run, I had some Tailwind Recovery. Not wholefood, but not high cal, and has a decent amount of protien. That's what the Recovery drink is all about. I haven't used it for ages, but it's good to haveif I don't have time to eat after exercise.

TGG and I went for lunch after parkrun. Mine was high enough in cals, vegan sausages in a white bread roll, with sweet potato fries, but I compensated for that by making soup for dinner. It was one of my "use up the veg that's in the house" soups.

600g potatoes

400g red peppers

400g onions

200g edamame beans

4 tbs nutritional yeast

salt

onion salt

Chinese five spice

Chop the potatoes, peppers and onions and add to a pot of boiling water (about a litre) bring down to a simmer and add the seasoning and five spice. Cook till very tender, then blend with a hand blender. Add the edamame beans and cook through. Stir in the nutritional yeast. The pot makes about four big bowls worth about 280 cals per bowl. I ate two bowls. With a punnet of grapes as a snake, I was ona about 2200 cals for the day, but I'd earned 500 from the run and a walk after lunch. That's okay on balance.

It's occured to me over the last day or two that this is all very repetative. I'm writng...

went for a run (it was shit)

ate some food (it was healthy or not)

drank some water (or didn't)

weight went down a bit, weight went up again

Manchester, Manchester, Manchester

London, London (recent addition)

This strikes me as dull, yet it's what I started out to do. This is me, one time fat, then fit, middle aged woman. One time super enthusiastic runner who found some form in her fiftieth year in a sport she'd never considerd earlier in life, then lost a lot of her joy in it.

My running mojo fucked off and I'd no idea how to get it back. My get up and go got up and went. The blog was to make me honest. If I can write about my struggle, see it in black and white, maybe it will help keep me accountable. It's repetative because that's how running training is and that's how weight loss attempts are. It probably is boring to read, but I think I'll find it useful to go over if I hit a slump.

#london marathon #running #whole food plant based #recipes

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trailflying · 2 years

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Söndag igen! Det betyder ju långpass med @tsmrunning! 🥳 Yeehaaa! Idag blev det 28 kilometer med fartinslag! Mitt i passet, 12 kilometer in, så ökade vi takten i fem kilometer, en progressiv fartökning, 4:05, 4:00, 3:50, 3:48 och slutligen 3:47. 🏃🏽‍♂️💨 Därefter gick vi tillbaka till ca. 5 minuter/km. När vi hade några kilometer kvar så drog vi återigen på och löpte de sista kilometrarna lite snabbare. Ett glatt gäng, solen tittade också fram efter milen sprunget. ☀️ …och Bajen vann, en toppendag helt enkelt! 👌🏽 Nu laddar vi om inför en ny vecka, och det är mindre än två veckor kvar till Stockholm Marathon nu! 🥳 Fortsatt skön helg på er! 🇬🇧Sunday again! Sundays are synonymous with longruns with @tsmrunning! 🥳 Yeeehaa! Todays run was 28K long with a stage of increased pace for 5K. This after 12K of running. I ran progressively increasing my pace, 4:05, 4:00, 3:50, 3:48 and the last one 3:47. 🏃🏽‍♂️💨 Afterwards, we went back to our ordinary pace, for a couple of kilometers, and then we increased it again until we were finished. A great run, with an awesome gang of runners, and even the sun showed up after 10K! ☀️ …and afterwards I went to look at a football game, and my team, Hammarby won! So this day was one of those perfect ones! 👌🏽 Now it’s less than 2 weeks to Stockholm Marathon and it’s time to reload for a new week! 🥳 Have a great Sunday friends! . . . #top4running @top4running.se 👈🏽 (code: “rainer”) . . . 🏃🏽‍♂️❤️🇸🇪☀️🏢👟 #trailrunning #instafit #marathon #runtag2022 #longrun #instarunners #instarunner #longrun #runshots #løb #fitness #running #instarunners #instarun #runner #runningmotivation #marathontraining #löpning #trailløb #training #stockholmmarathon #löpning #jagspringer #roadrunner #run #adidasstockholmmarathon2022 #sundayrunday #älskalöpning #tsmrunning #runningman #instafitness #runshots #runningtransformation (på/i Stockholm Olympic Stadium) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cd3q40Rsm69/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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oneoftheprettynerds · 3 years

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Fixed: Dark!Steve x Reader (Mob AU)

Chapter 4 in the Lipstick and Crayons Series.

Chapter 3: Love So Soft

Main Masterlist

A/N: It’s shorter than my usual updates but I’m busy so sorry for the delay. My final exam dates have come and all I can do is pray right now lol. Please pray for me if you can, this sis is out here writing fanfics for yall instead of studying so, haha. ANyways, enjoy babies! Shit happens in this chapter.

Warning: Non-Con, Sickening Threats, Mob Themes, Violence, Death, Manipulation, a mild mental breakdown, Cheap Tricks.

Genres + Characters: Mob AU, Single Parents AU, Steve Rogers x Reader.

Summary: Steve can’t ever repay you for what you did. After meeting you, Steve believes his broken family is the missing piece in the puzzle of your own wrecked one. Indebting the crime lord to you has been the biggest mistake of your life, cause now you can’t get rid of him, no matter what. Loyalty and favours go a long way in the mob.

Word count: 5K

Chapter 4: Fixed

You didn’t sleep that night. Or the next few. Your hands shook every time you got a flashback and even though you were numb to emotions that entire day, tears threatened to spill whenever your mind took to you to that overpriced kitchen again.

Now that he had gone to a dangerous and unnerved assaulter from a Dad trying to take care of his daughter, your mind wouldn’t put anything past him. You knew that in the back of your mind that he was a mobster and your ‘friendship’ was alarming to say the least, but now there was no denying his resources and power and the very obvious threat to your life lingering in the air.

At least before you had the luxury to be oblivious and ignorant, not anymore though. Steve felt even more unhinged and liberal now, even messaging you daily, greeting texts that you obviously ignored. He knew you both were aware that you never handed him your number and he felt no need to hide his pursuit.

You read most of the messages, not bothering with a single reply though. You tried to block him but somehow your phone would still receive messages from his number, even though his contact would always peek back at you from the otherwise empty blacklist.

As if his torment wasn’t ample, another message thread from a different number would forward you alarming images, photos of Grace in her daycare, on a class trip to the park and even her playing in your backyard. You had no doubt that this was another game of his to show you his resources.

You skipped daycare for a few days, your mental health worse than it was after the carnival attack, because now you had a personal tormentor and you cursed yourself for falling into this mess. At times, you believed it wasn’t your fault really, you just helped a kid and this situation spiraled itself but what would pointing fingers now get you? The harsh truth was you were in a calamitous situation now and every step from now on had to be thought out.

So, you let Grace attend her daycare and acted if nothing was amiss or altered, after the few initial breakdown days of course, kept going to your job and earning the bread. You considered your options, you really wanted to go to the cops or a higher fair power but those were few these days, almost non existent in your city. You also vaguely recalled meeting three of the Captains of the PD at Sarah’s birthday, all smiley and doe eyed for Steve. You knew they wouldn’t help, fucking kiss-asses.

Maybe you would have to move somewhere else, perhaps to your hometown, at least till things cooled down or better yet were forgotten? But that trail was very predictable and you didn’t want your parents in this mess.

You also came to know that Steve had inserted himself in the other spheres of your life. You were sure your location was always being sent to him, the knowledge a courtesy of the black car following you while you travelled to home at some late day’s end.

Aiden told you whereabouts were easy to track, when you inquired ambiguously. Another instance was when you went to the bank to deposit cash for your debit card, you came face to face with an enormous amount already there. Somehow, the limit on your credit card was also extended. How, you knew. The clerk told you about an email you must have gotten in regards to it, you dismissed that justification away and told them to not accept the cash. To sum the discussion, they weren’t helpful and had no policy against anonymous donors.

Aiden, your trusted coworker cum pal, sensed the shift in your aura and fidgety form very easily, pestering you with questions and you decided to turn to him, stressed and tired and ready to do something. His questioning eyebrows made you confess vaguely but you refused to tell him the extent of it. Just that his prediction came true and you needed help. Let’s just say, Aiden was a good man.

With time, Steve’s ‘affectionate’ messages became deranged, and you found it harder to act nonchalant in your daily life. You were thankful he didn’t come to visit you, possibly occupied with the rumored war between the mobs. You just prayed for a few more days of ignorance, just enough time to think and do something.

“What do you mean someone collected her?!” You had a hard time controlling your voice, you were about to burst, in tears or with anger, you didn’t know.

“The man was verified in the emergency contacts and we got a letter signed and approved by you to skip the day an hour into the first activity.”

“A man? Emergen-, wait no! What fucking approved letter?”

You had three emergency contacts, your mom in another state, Aiden, and one of the other kid’s mom you had grown close to. Aiden was with you at work all day, so did someone disguise themselves as him? And what was the deal with the letter signed by you? You surely didn’t remember writing and authorizing one.

The boy, Pietro, who had been the receptionist for as long as you could remember, shuffled through the chaotic piles of paper and presented a letter to you, and your blood froze as your eyes skimmed the font.

Your beautiful cursive stared right back at you and you knew that no one would ever be able to distinguish between this penmanship and the one in the pocketbook in your clutch. No one but you. Even though you knew you had not written it, the slightly different ‘f’ and ‘g’ told you everything.

Your signature at the bottom though, was done quite perfectly and that made you even more scared.

“I did-, I didn’t write this! What the-” Your widened eyes met Pietro’s from above the paper but all he offered you was a meek smile. Your hands shook with rage and for the first time in your life, you had the urge to slap someone really bad.

“Maybe your family had an emergency to take he-”

“No, you don’t get it!” You stopped yourself from getting frantic, willing yourself to take deep breaths and think rationally. Today of all days, things had to mess up.

He didn’t know you had no family in this city, that you had a mobster after you or the subtle threats that his hired spy sent to you.

Was going to the police an option? Aiden already told you that the cops were as good as Steve’s men. But this was about your missing kid! You’d never forgive yourself if something happened to her. And you were giving Steve way too much credit, what if he wasn’t behind this all? Come to think of it, what if the other number wasn’t his?

Relax yourself! Thinking of disturbing theories wouldn’t help anyone. You thought you should go to the cops, just in case. No mentioning of Steve, just a woman with a ‘missing child’ report.

‘Missing Child’ left an acrid taste behind and you were too close to a breakdown, but your whole journey of single-parenthood taught you to kick vulnerability aside, well most of the times.

You turned and were about to leave, but Pietro stopped you. “If you are going to the cops Ma’am, they require 8 hours of inactivity or disappearance time for kids under 5.”

Well look who just read your mind.

You huffed and kept the tears at bay, your mind thinking of what to do then? Grace was obviously taken-

“How could you let a toddler leave without informing the parents?” You knew your anger was channeling out at the wrong man but didn’t he all but hand Grace to the stranger?

You beat him answering and inquired, “What did the man look like? Do you have any footage? Anything?” The wrinkles in your forehead and stress creases on your face paired with the eyebags betrayed your age surely. You were sure you had aged more this week than an entire decade, juggling your normal life with the hovering threat.

“You shouldn’t be this worried Ma’am.”

The fucking audacity.

“Your daughter recognized him, she all but ran to him and this other little girl he came with. You should maybe ask your parent-friends around? A blonde family perhaps?”

As all the emotions drained from your face and terror took over, the young lad in front of you looked smug. You wondered as if you imagined the faintest of smirks on his face.

You crumpled the letter in your hands, seething with rage as you stepped in your car. Oh, you were mad, more wrathful than ever. You could take any hits on you, any threat but not on Grace, never on her.

You were stupid, you had already decided you wouldn’t put anything past him but unknowingly, you did put this past him. You thought this man had a shred of decency to not use your kid in this adult war, being a parent himself and all but what a surprise! You were wrong.

You drove to your home, your thoughts a mix of trepidation, anxiety and fury. You were scared of him and his reach and resources but if he put Grace in any type of danger; whether to teach you a lesson or use her as bait or both, there’d be consequences.

Lord knows you killed a man a month ago Grace was threatened.

You had one thing to do before contacting Steve about Grace but you never got to do it because unexpectedly the bastard was in your home. In your home.

The black sports car outside was a huge giveaway but your suspicions were confirmed when you opened the door with your house key. The banter and giggles from inside alarmed yet calmed you; the dread of confrontation and the assurance of Grace’s safety reigned your mind.

As the door opened painfully slow like a horror movie, the sight that met your eyes made you sick with a feeling of failure. It wasn’t gore or blood or grunge, it was Steve bouncing Grace in the air and catching her while Sarah twirled around in the living room.

This man was craftier than you thought, every action of his was calculated, each a refined step. You had been so preoccupied to avoid direct encounters with him in your little family’s life that you didn’t think he had other ways. He was always looming around with Sarah and as Grace began to trust Sarah, she consequently began to trust her blonde guardian too.

As you slammed the door behind you, Steve’s eyes snapped to yours and his smirk made you want to punch him so hard. The smugness on his face while he let Grace down without breaking eye contact told you he had no regret, no remorse. In fact, he was loving every second of this cat and mouse chase between you two.

You were a millimeter close to losing your shit, the only check being the kids in the room. But you were mad and he was going to know it.

“What the hell, Steve? Messing with my kid?” You threw your clutch onto the couch, Steve haughty by the reception of his sent message but still holding back because of the kids. He called Wanda and you didn’t really notice where she came from but you did register Steve asking to take the girls to the park for a ‘private discussion’.

As Grace passed by you, you grabbed her arm lightly, making her look at you with doe eyes resembling yours. You gave her a smile trying to ease her, but you knew she was smart enough to sense the change in the atmosphere.

Apparently, the whining Sarah wasn’t.

You looked back to Steve, your hold still on Grace and continued with a frown and raised eyebrows, “She isn’t going anywhere, not out of my sight and obviously not with you or your goons.”

Wanda had the audacity to look offended and you scoffed at her, eyes staring Steve’s down.

“Honey, I don’t think the kids should hear what I think you have to say right now.” He said nodding to Wanda to take Grace.

“You must be deranged to think I trust Grace near anyone even remotely related to you! Take your people and get out.” You held your hand up to stop Wanda and pointed towards the door with the most menacing glare you could form.

Grace looked incomprehensibly between you two, concern and confusion on her face. That might have been the first time such a tone was used in your household. The grumbling Sarah was close to throwing a tantrum, irritated by the change in the playful air or the lack of attention to her, you didn’t know. She was hanging on Wanda’s forearm, her feet slipping on your printed rug. Wanda was trying to not look hurt still by your previous statement, distracting herself by the blonde kid and you were baffled by her obliviousness to all this.

Steve, the beefy blonde Lucifer, was furious and seething. His white knuckles and ticking jaw were the most obvious giveaways, the fingers just itching to beat the shit out of someone no doubt.

Was he imagining striking you into compliance into his weird playhouse game complex? You wouldn’t be surprised given the extent of his attempt to ‘win’ you over.

The ‘get out’ tone and blatant disrespect was a bruise to his ego for sure, and by you, a middle-class woman nonetheless was a worse injury. Steve was the deadly boss to armored men in the vicinity, the kids’ father figure, according to him, and Wanda’s stern yet kind employer.

People had been killed for less and there you were, standing in all your glory, being the only person alive to reject Steve Rogers and now, the only to raise your voice at him.

You almost scoffed at his impudence to look offended, what did he expect? For you to submit to him after the stunt he pulled? His reach was scary he proved today and that any future with him in your life in any way, was a fearsome possibility to entertain but you’d be damned if you went down without a fight.

“You can’t make me leave; we both know. You don’t have the physical edge nor the mental one. I have no problem drawing out G-U-N-S in front of the kids or to throw the warnings around, although I would prefer not to.”

Your free hand itched to slap him, like how his did minutes ago. It wasn’t a mankind problem about men thinking they were entitled to everything; it was a Steve Rogers’s problem. Of course, with him consent didn’t matter. If he had a ‘housewife, kids and fences’ fixation, he’d make it come true.

“Do you even listen to what I say? Or your own words even? Please, go ahead! Traumatise my kid and also yours in your wooing process! Why are you so obsessed? Leave us alone, you freak! I just ignored few messages!” You had a hard time maintaining your cool, if there was any left. You were sure you were scaring Grace and no matter what happened next, you knew she was already traumatized by this entire ordeal already. You were so sorry, so, so, so sorry to your poor baby caught in this mess.

You knew, no, you hoped, he wouldn’t pull out the gun, his actions at the carnival a proof, you remembered how he hid his gun on finding Sarah. That threat was empty but the next one wasn’t, his words making you freeze in your spot.

“I think you keep on misunderstanding me, sweetheart. I don’t make empty promises,”

Posh word for threats.

“For starters, maybe I should pay my future in-laws a visit in their blue duplex. They might need help with the vast garden they have, it is the season for ‘violets’, isn’t it?”

As you froze with your parents being brought up, he also cooled, albeit differently, smirking once again gaining the upper hand, not that he lost it if you were being honest.

“Isn’t threatening my kid enough for you, Steve?” You hated how your loud voice almost broke, your anger slowly subsiding into helplessness and you hated that. You hated his guts, his entitlement, his claim; everything about him.

“You still don’t see it, do you? Our family of four is the most important thing to me right now and I’m not above doing anything to save it.”

“There is no family of four Steve! I keep explaining and you keep coming back to square one with all this bullshit!” The curse word did tick Steve off but he would correct that later, when bigger things weren’t at ploy.

“Your ignorance makes me a little mad sometimes sweetheart and that is why I have to do all I do. You haven’t realized we need each other yet, but I’m staying until you do and even after that, I promise. You know how much it pissed me off to see your tickets and the packed suitcases after I’ve been nothing but nice? I was so generous to spoil you with my riches but instead I find that in your finances.”

This fucker knew. Of course, he did!

You were wondering in the back of your head what had prompted this visit with so many threats and warnings and anguish. He was pissed even before you ‘acted out’, he tracked the tickets and the plan and that meant he even tracked-

“You have so much to learn, but luckily you interact with quite a few people. I am most tempted to start out with this Aiden guy, trying to be the hero and giving you all the ideas. Maybe I should visit him?” Steve wondered out loud, and you flinched at his suggestion, hating how you were trapped by this man.

You couldn’t live with yourself if anyone got hurt because of you, be it your parents or Aiden or any other possibility Steve would come up with. Of course, Grace was your peak priority but you doubted he would hurt her as he threatened to harm them.

“Steve, please.” The fire was almost out, your hands trembling, Grace worried and Steve smug.

“Let the kids go and I think we can come to a conclusion.”

“Steve this needs to stop.” You said, your breaths heavy and helplessness clawing away at you.

“I won’t repeat myself.” He voiced out with a threatening edge, gesturing to Grace and Wanda, clearly telling you to first get the kids out.

For a deranged fucktard, he sure cared about the kids a lot.

You loosened your hold on Grace, patting her arm softly and nudged her to Wanda. Wanda received her little hand and enticed the kids with the promise of ice-cream. Sarah clapped her hands and as the trio left, Grace did look over her shoulders at you in concern and for permission, majorly in concern though. You nodded and waved, a tear dropping as soon as the door clicked shut.

You were still staring at the door, not wanting to meet Steve’s stormy blue orbs when he began, “Today was a slip up that I won’t tolerate again. Neither the cursing nor the dramatics.”

We aren’t in a fucking play, what the fuck is he labelling as dramatics?

Your eyes slowly flickered to his, and you had a hard time not letting the tears escape except the one traitorous one earlier. The fatigue, the worry of Grace’s disappearance, the threats to your friends and family were all catching up to you. It took all in you to stay strong and not fall down right now.

“Steve this isn’t funny anymore. It’s sick and you know it! I just said no! Was that so inexcusable that you had to follow up with this? You have violated me for that, broken into my home and now kidnapped my daughter! At what extent will you stop?” You broke down finally, arms a flailing mess as fat tears rolled down. Nothing scared more than the helplessness this moment. He won and he knew it. The carnival incident was nothing in comparison to this. The only good thing you could hope in all this was a safe Grace but that too only if you complied, which seemed like what you would do now given your attempts at fighting back and scampering have failed laughably.

“Gosh, I forgot how theatrical women are. You are smart darling; you know what I want from day one, just a happy family. Nothing that horrendous has happened and especially not as badly as put it. I’m just looking out for you and me in the long run.” Steve slowly treaded towards you, his hand extended to pat your arm comfortingly but you involuntarily flinched at contact and stepped back. Steve clearly didn’t like that as he caught your arm in a bruising grip and jerked you towards him. Manhandling you as your wet hands rushed to ease his grip was not a tough task for Steve, a surprise to none.

“Stop trembling like I’ve actually done something to harm you!”

Steve clearly didn’t know how to comfort women and it showed.

You stopped with the cowering away, even though it disgusted you to be this much in close proximity with your assaulter. He clearly had anger issues and no clue how to solve them. You needed to steer the conversation right and get him out. You could see your hands visibly shake as you put them on his chest, just to create some distance and in a way of surrendering to not fight. The tears slowed but you don’t think they stopped; it was hard to tell with a million other things on your mind.

As your eyes made contact, Steve loosened his grip, clearly a bit satisfied by your submission, as he began counting to help you breathe. As much as you hated to admit, it helped you and you got a flashback to the time when you freaked out on him about Grace at that extravagant dinner date. That was a sweet gesture then, not so sweet now. Funny how drastically things change with time.

It wasn’t so much Steve’s help as it was your own mind telling you to be fucking smart about the whole ordeal right now.

“Good. Better. Now let’s talk. Why were you planning to run away? I’ve been busy and coming home to find out that wasn’t joyful, you know.” His smile suggested a better mood than before but his voice, his husky voice always had this daring edge that almost challenged you to defy him but at the same time warned you of unpleasant consequences if you did.

“Steve, I’m scared.” You spoke with utmost honesty. “The part of the world you associate yourself with scares me. You can’t blame me for not wanting that life for Grace, I mean you have a kid of your own. Wasn’t the carnival attack specifically on Sarah?”

The reasoning was right but you knew you triggered him the moment his smile evaporated. He either felt insulted as a parent or disrespected in his profession or probably both.

He was fighting his inner demons already and you pointing it out was a slap to his face, a hit he didn’t want to take.

“That was a slip up, I admit. Never again. I’m only human, okay?” He convinced himself and you, his grip tightening a bit again.

Oh no, not the right direction to take.

You reckoned he still had nightmares about it like you, he really did love Sarah a lot, all things aside.

“Besides, I am looking out for you! Out for you and Grace and Sarah. I remember my promise of never putting either of them in harm’s way ever again.”

You definitely didn’t trust his security or his people because what sort of a mobster let his daughter get targeted and possibly abducted? You definitely didn’t know the whole story or if it was just a bad day but he wasn’t a person that deserved some slack. Despite all this, you knew what all he held above you, above a common man. He might not be ‘Kingpin’ skilled but a threat to you nonetheless.

Before you could stop yourself, you blurted out, “Is that what you call following me around, huh?” which you immediately regretted.

“Trust the process, baby. Everything is just to protect you.”

Is that what he called stalking even Grace around and twistedly enough, sending you proof of that? The anonymous thread of photos was another nightmare of yours, thanks to him. The last being a candid photo inside Grace’s room, her sleeping in her bed this morning and that’s when you decided you needed to get out. Of course, that didn’t go as planned.

“How am I supposed to do that when you have cameras in my house?!” You scoffed and he reeled back at the accusation, having the nerve to look impressed at being uncovered and caught red-handed.

“Oh my fucking God, it was you! You sick pervert!” You jumped out of his grip, your eyes wide and horrified. “I wasn’t aware of what to make of it but of course, it was you! Who else would be sick enough to do that?” You let out a humorless chuckle. You always put things past him even when you keep telling yourself you shouldn’t. When will you ever learn huh?

You were full on panicking yet again, this man was an assaulter, a stalker and a creep too. It would have made a good dark, psychological thriller for you to watch if you weren’t the protagonist about to suffer his obsession.

He reached out to steady you again, but you whipped and stumbled back, realizing too late that you elbowed Steve’s nose so bad that there was a crunch. That, right there, was the look a man real-fucking-furious on Steve’s face and now you could see the feared mobster, the man who was personally terrorizing you under the beautiful, Greek God façade.

Steve reacted so fast even with an injury that in a split second, your view of his face turned into a view of his crotch.

“You do realize that there are others ways for me to teach you obedience? I think it’s fucking time you show me your gratitude for my care and attention and apologize for your misconduct and unkind response.” Steve spoke with a hoarse voice, a voice running out of patience and just about done with defiance.

His hand fisted your hair, maintaining eye contact while he nodded between you and his crotch. You knew what he wanted, what he was expecting as ‘thanks’.

“Steve, please no, you don’t-”

His other hand grabbed your jaw, stopping you from speaking as he warned, “I think you have done just enough talking for today, so why don’t you put that tongue to a better use and show me how sorry you are. Better make it convincing because I’d hate to pay one of your friends a visit and then bitch about a nasty blowjob.” He smirked at the end of his monologue, eyes shining with triumph and amusement.

You wouldn’t let him harm anyone else, you couldn’t. You and your daughter were already knee-deep in a pit and at this point, it’d just be cruel to drag someone else in. With shaky hands opening his pants, you just hoped you could get Grace out before you eventually were buried in it.

“Now that’s a good girl. Submissive is a sexy look on you.” His hands patted your hair, playing with your tresses while yours pulled his pants and then briefs down.

His member jerked out, almost slapping you in the face as you recoiled at his insolence to get hard and erect at your torment. Your disdain must have shown which he took as admiration and derision to take his affluent cock in.

“No need to get shy, I have faith you’ll be able take it just as well in your pretty pussy as you will right now. Open up-”

“Steve, I beg you-”

Just as you had cut him off, he interrupted your pleading. Your gag reflex was probably the most efficient in the world but that turned this narcissist on. It had been years since you had done it, never with a man as beefy as Steve.

His taste was salty and if you had to put it into better words, it was the like overpriced sea salt flakes that you never bought. High and pricey and for the entitled.

Your hands clutched at his thighs as you blacked out multiple times; your jaw aching, uvula swaying and tears escaping. Him forcing himself on you brough a new sense of vulnerability as your body trembled. Steve relished like a sadist, practically rutting into you all by himself as you just sat there with your jaw unnaturally open.

His obscene moans and groans were crass and nauseating and you just prayed for this to be over soon and for no one to walk in on this, especially your kid.

It seemed like it would never end, your body dehydrating with all the spit it produced, the drool dribbling and landing just beside your knees on your printed rug. You would have to throw that out.

The tears stooped after some point, the sobbing an unnecessary action that just tired you out more on this eventful day. You moved your tongue around to prevent your teeth from scratching him when he shifted angles. If this was what he did on slightly mad, you didn’t want to find what he did for a more serious punishment.

Apparently, that action was something that turned him on even more, his breath hitching as neared closure. In broken whispers he demanded that again and you complied, wanting to get done with it.

He growled in the moment of his release and you tried to lean back but his grip didn’t relent. “Swallow.” His grainy, exasperated voice said out loud and you knew better than to defy.

He released you and you fell on to the rug, hip bruising by knocking into some furniture and tears coming back again after being hydrated by his seed. He packed himself, his smile smug and content as his expressions truly resembled ecstasy being personified.

“You be a good fiancée from now on and maybe you’ll have all your friends alive and present at our wedding. No cheeky business from now on, got it?” Steve hummed then and strutted out, not even bothering to listen to your reply.

As soon as the door slammed, your eyes closed and your demons danced again.

There was no right direction to take when you were stuck in a loop.

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irethepotato · 2 years

Text

💕Genshin Content Creator Appreciation Week! 💕

Duration of the event: 20 Nov- 27 Nov

Christmas is getting nearer and nearer each day and a lot of us are stressful, whether it's because of exams. work, or just stressful in general. Let's support each other for during this stressful time!

@3rdgymbros came up with this idea in Discord and we have been brainstorming a bit on how to carry this out since the end of October. We noticed that a lot of these Tumblr events/games often require people to either write a fic, draw a fanart or exclusively between moots only.

Now it's time to give the spotlight to other genshin content creators! This week long event is where everyone can give their appreciation to a genshin content creator who they think deserve more recognition. No writing/making art/etc needed! Just giving out love for them 💞💞💞

Here's the best part of this event: ANYONE can join.I'll explain more in the rules and details under the cut

Rules, details and participants are under the cut.

Reblog this post to spread the word and the good vibes!

Rules and details:

1. ANYONE can join this event. It doesn't matter if you don't write fanfics or make fanart, whether you have 5k followers or 20 followers. This event is open for EVERYONE.

2. From 20 Nov till 27 Nov; Post your appreciation at least once a day. If you want to do more than once, go ahead! Go crazy. Just make sure to post it on your time zone to avoid any confusion.

3. No writing/making fanart needed! Just give out your appreciation for them. For example:

1st day of genshin content creator appreciation week

This person!

Why I chose them: Could be something simple like them being a nice person for creating a safe space in Tumblr, you love their writing, etc

My personal fav content from them: Insert a link of it here

Go check em out!

You could use the example as a format or make your own! Just be sure to tag the person that you chose, your fav content from them (with the link!) and a tag: #genshin appreciation week

4. It's fine for you to choose moots but it is heavily encourage for people joining the event to give their appreciation to non-moots. (Dw we still love y'all) Like I said, I want this to be able to include anyone and not just moots. Think of it as a surprise for them!

5. Qna is open! If you have any questions about the event, send me an ask or message me. I'll do my best to clear out any confusion. (Also this is my first time organizing an event so bear with me)

People who are interested in participating the event:

@lilikags

@ohmykazuha

@simplyxsinned

@bumbleklee

@the-gayest-sky-kid

@eggmarr

@paradise-creator

@almondoufu

@todorki-shoto

@tartagilicious

@witch-hazels-musings

@fuwon

@albed-hoe

@haliya-mori

@kazuharem

#genshin impact #genshin appreciation week

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arofili · 3 years

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I love reading what you write! It's always such good, easy writing no matter what it's about! Do you have any Russingon fic recs? I'm new to Ao3 and still figuring it all out.

Aww thank you so much <3 <3 that means a lot! and YES I have lots of Russingon fic recs! These are all taken from my bookmarks and I know there are other great fics out there, but these are ones that I have saved and come back to frequently!

(I’m also going to plug my Russingon fics bc I write them a lot and I’m pretty proud of some of those works!)

Blessed Hands Will Break Me by @absynthe--minded - WIP currently at 139k, lots of worldbuilding, from Fingon’s discovery of Maedhros’ capture to the Mereth Aderthad - Absynthe is an amazing Russingon writer, absolutely check her stuff out!

“whoso list to hunt” by vauquelin (elftrash) - 3k oneshot, post-Angband, 1st person Fingon POV - another incredible writer

“Old Pains” by @zealouswerewolfcollector - ficlet, post-reembodiment, Maedhros is unsure of reality

Did My Heart Love Till Now? by @absynthe--minded (with art by @felixwhetsel !) - 5k, Years of the Trees, masquerade shenanigans <3

“stay thy mind, and all the rest” by @mc-dude - 25k oneshot, get together, Fingon visits Maedhros in Himring, the ANGST and LONGING gahhhh !!!

“commit (to the bit)” by vauquelin (elftrash) - 4k oneshot, Years of the Trees, FAKE DATING FOR WORLD PEACE, this author has a GIFT for prose and the subtlety of interpersonal interaction

“cliffs of fall” by @arrivisting - 3k oneshot, nonlinear narrative but generally focused on post-reembodiment reunion with Complicated Feelings - another author with a truly inspiring talent for prose, I reread the wedding scene in this fic at least once a week and it never fails to make me emo

In Equal Measure by @siphilemon - WIP currently at 108k, time-travel fix-it, bullet point fic, not just Russingon but they’re the ones who time traveled and anyway their parts make me go insane

Your colors by @elesianne - 2 chapters, 3k total, Years of the Trees and then Beleriand, gift-giving and anniversaries and dirty talk, so tender and loving, Elle’s Russingon always hits me right in the heart <3

“Like the old season” by Tyelperintal - 1.8k oneshot, post-Angband, Maedhros and Fingon take a walk in the woods, super sweet

“Gifts of the Heart” by @wren-of-the-woods - 10k oneshot, Years of the Trees, really lovely get-together fic, gift-giving, just super sweet and fun

Our Houses Bound Together by @senalishia and @z-h-i-e - 5 chapters, 17.2k total, arranged marriage AU!!, mutual pining, lots of drama, very fun

“just one safe place” by sunflower_diode - 2.1k oneshot, post-Angband, homoerotic haircutting

“All About Your Heart” and its sequel “At Last Broke Silence, And The Ice” by @admirablemonster - first fic is 2k, second is 8k, modern AU ft. aspec Fingon and genderfluid Maedhros!!!, get together, family drama, ice angst <3

Life after Death by Sylanna - WIP currently at 69k, Fingon-centric post-reembodiment fic, slow moving and contemplative, the author is truly the sweetest person ever

What Is Wrought Between Us by @nikosheba - 90k series (with plenty of smut too), complete, canon compliant, ranges from the Years of the Trees all the way to after the Dagor Dagorath, a truly incredible work

“Kindness” by justonelastdance - 1.6k oneshot, Maedhros in a fucked up mental state post-Angband, hurt/comfort - this author writes a lot of Maedhros whump so if you like this check out their other stuff too (this one is just my favorite)

and under the cut, some smut recs....

smut recs

In a Jeweled Crown by @absynthe--minded - 3 chapters, 12k, complete, Fingon’s coronation and the aftermath - this one still makes me go nuts every time I read it

Reconnecting by nyromes - a series with 2 parts, 9k total, first time post-Angband + first time Maedhros bottoms post-Angband

“Bright Defiance” (1.7k) and its companion fic “Very Good” (800 word ficlet) by @edgeoflight - two oneshots, Fingon coaxes Maedhros’ story out of him post-Angband + some PWP - these are some of my favorites, I come back to them frequently

“all your perfect imperfections” by @stormxpadme - 1.8k oneshot, stumpfucking, I’m biased bc this was written for me but I do love it very much, Himring era

“These Games We Play” by @edgeoflight - 1.7k oneshot, the original stumpfucking fic, Himring era

A Surprise At Home by Findecutie and MayGlenn - 25k of pwp, Years of the Trees, newlyweds, crossdressing - part of the much longer Russ and Finno Verse but this was my intro to that verse and it’s good on its own!

“Fuath” by yeaka - 3k oneshot, first time, some truly disturbing manipulation by Melkor but the Russingon here fucking destroys me ;-;

“Rozanne” by yeaka - 2.8k oneshot, Maedhros recovering from Angband, I once saw someone use the phrase “lovingly described blowjobs” and that’s basically this fic

“Sleeve” by yeaka - 2.4k oneshot, trans!Maedhros, Years of the Trees, Fëanor invents the condom for Maedhros and Russingon are incredibly eager to try it out, they’re SO IN LOVE here it gets me every time

Passion and Anxious Care by LiveOakWithMoss - 12.5k total, 2 fic series, modern AU, oh my god they were roommates, get together and then first time, this is another one I return to frequently - this author is/was a BNF a few years ago but hasn’t been active recently

“For nimble thought can jump both sea and land” by TheLionInMyBed - 2.2k oneshot, palantiri foolishness that leads to video sex basically, Beleriand era - another BNF who is/was buds with LiveOakWithMoss

Treat me soft but touch me cool by LiveOakWithMoss and TheLionInMyBed - 4 chapters, 18k total, swoon kink/medical kink, relationship difficulties that are resolved, Beleriand era with a final chapter post-reembodiment, love this one

“Enthroned” by @ultraviolet-eucatastrophe - 4.5k oneshot, throne sex, fealty kink, King Fingon era

“A Disgrace to the House of Finwë” by @edgeoflight - 2.3k oneshot, get together/first time, Years of the Trees, they’re just super sweet together <3

“What Happens in Himring” by teasoni - 3.4k oneshot, reunion sex, Himring era, fealty kink, this fic is tagged “finally some dicks get sucked!!!!!!” and I think about that tag every time I write a Russingon blowjob jdkfhdkj

“a light in darkness, hope in woe” by @admirablemonster - 4k oneshot, trans!Maedhros, surprise baby Gil-galad in the middle of the Bragollach

“A lord and his prince” by @ultraviolet-eucatastrophe - 3.1k oneshot, early Beleriand era, reunion sex, super sweet and fluffy

“Made of Lava” by @edgeoflight - 2.1k oneshot, Years of the Trees, tender get-together fic with a kind of silly premise

Bend, bruise, beg by LiveOakWithMoss - 5 chapters, 13k total, part of a larger modern AU but tbh I haven’t read the main fic in that verse and this absolutely stands on its own, Maedhros discovering his kinks, chapters 2 (first time) and 4 (butt plug shenanigans) are my favorites

“in a field of stars” by Nacht - 3.4k oneshot, Years of the Trees, first time/get together, the writing style here is really unique and sticks with me

“a sword once sheathed” by @mc-dude - 3.5k oneshot, Beleriand era, reunion sex, the amount of horny longing is truly astonishing

Of Flight and Freedom by @admirablemonster - 2 chapters, 6.6k total, wingfic/wing kink, first time/get together, the Rescue and its aftermath

“Thorns” by yeaka - 2k oneshot, post-Angband, Maedhros with lousy self-worth, Fingon who punishes him with love, bondage

The Ice Between by angrymermaids (who has a tumblr but I don’t remember the url oops) - 7 chapters, 33.5k total, Beleriand era, piecing their relationship back together / trying to get back to being intimate, focus on Fingon and his trauma from the Ice

“much too tall for a boyfriend” by @i-am-a-lonely-visitor - 4.7k oneshot, fem!Maedhros x budding-transmasc!Fingon, Years of the Trees, I think about this fic ALL THE TIME I kind of want to write a sequel to it sjfdhdkjh

“the beat of your heart as my hand touches your skin” by @admirablemonster - 5.3k oneshot, part of the Elves in Pon Farr series, Years of the Trees, heat fic/mating cycles, first time/get together, Maedhros’ first heat catches him by surprise while on a camping trip with Fingon, accidental soulbond

“Beneath the Blanketing White” by @nikosheba - 2.3k oneshot, Himring era, pwp, cameo from little Gil-galad at the end

“What I Am (When I’m With You)” by @thatfeanorian - 5k oneshot, part of a larger modern AU, married fluff, Fingon with baby Gil, ends with some lovely smut, this was written for me so AGAIN I’m biased but I do very much love this one

“open your body and soul to me” by @the-quiet-fire-of-defiance - 2.3k oneshot, Years of the Trees, trans!Maedhros, pregnancy, exhibitionism, sex toys, they’re so in love that it drives me crazy, I can’t stop thinking about this fic djfhkjd

“Like the Golden Fire in Your Eyes” by @sianascera - 3.8k oneshot, Years of the Trees, Maedhros invents nipple piercings, extremely fun <3

#anon #answers #russingon #fic recs #tefain nin #maedhros x fingon #there are truly some incredible writers in this fandom; thank you SO much for all your contributions <3 #save #russingon fic recs

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bottomlouisficfest · 3 years

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We hope you’ve enjoyed the ninth week of fics from the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Every weekend, we’re compiling all of the fics from that week into one roundup post so they’re easy to find for anyone looking to catch up on fics they missed. Enjoy these amazing fics and give them the love they deserve!

You and I 'till the day we die

A fic by Allmylovelarrie on AO3 | flightlesslarri on Twitter

10k | Explicit | Louis/Harry | Tumblr post | Twitter post

Prompt 124: A fic inspired by Groupie Love by Lana Del Rey, where Harry is a Rockstar and Louis is his cute little boyfriend who tries to hide himself in the middle of the crowd. (Preferably set in the 80s)

Give So Much (Not Enough)

A fic by skinsuk on AO3 | @wifeylouis on Tumblr

24k | Mature | Louis/Harry, Louis/Alex, Harry/Tess | Tumblr post | Twitter post

“For my little lion,” Louis slid the smoothie bowl in front of Oscar, letting him dig in with his little hands. “And for daddy.”

He didn’t process the bowl in front of him, the push across the table causing a raspberry to roll off and fall on his lap, because Louis calling himself mummy may make him feel all sorts of mushy emotions, but Louis addressing Harry as daddy was suddenly having a very different effect on him. Since when did Louis saying daddy out loud render him speechless?

“Daddy’s still sleepy, but we’re up bright and early right Ossie?” Louis’ cooing shook him out of his daze. The man coughed, picking the raspberry off his lap and swallowing it with unintentional, and very unnecessary, eye contact with Louis. “Well, is it better than your protein smoothies and why?”

Harry chuckled, spooning another heap of the strawberry banana goodness into his mouth, “Way better sweetheart.”

A friends to lovers au with tons of mama Louis and domesticity.

New York's Beauty

A fic by nocontrol_lou on AO3 | @saxophone17 on Tumblr | nocontrol_louis on Twitter

5k | Mature | Louis/Harry | Tumblr post | Twitter post

Prompt 104: AU where Harry is an alpha wolf and Louis is a hybrid kitten. They were roommates. While they were arguing about something stupid, Harry wanted to bend Louis over the kitchen table and knot him right there. He slowly accepted his feelings and extreme desire for Louis, so he started to tease the hybrid until he would beg Harry to fuck him. They fall in love. Louis needs to feel comfortable with the camera so Harry fucks him until he is blushing and calm and gentle.

feeling borrowed, always blue

A fic by falsegoodnight on AO3 | @falsegoodnight on Tumblr | falsegoodnight on Twitter

67k | Explicit | Louis/Harry | Tumblr post | Twitter post

Louis’ own heartbeat picks up, eyes widening right as Dr. Zoyansky hits a button and the unsteady pattern of thumps echoes into the room. His breathing hitches, eyes watering as the rhythm seeps into his insides and reverberates in his mind. A heartbeat.

He doesn’t register the tears at first, eyes fixed to the screen and vision blurring.

The situation seems insane. Here he is, twenty-four years old, sitting in the examination chair and listening to the heartbeat of his future child, clutching the worn material of his changing gown with pale fingers, one of which is weighed down by a gaudy engagement ring.

And most noticeably - he’s entirely alone. It’s just him in the room with his doctor, experiencing one of the most groundbreaking, life-changing moments of his entire life and he’s all alone.

Or, Louis has been dreaming of his wedding since he was young - he just never expected that it was going to happen like this.

Hamartia

A fic by tomlinvelvet on AO3 | @tomlinvelvetfics on Tumblr

66k | Explicit | Louis/Harry | Tumblr post | Twitter post

Eight years is a long time for Louis to mend his heart back and erase every lingering, stubborn memory of his ex-lover, Harry Styles. But when news of the war being over spreads across the world like wildfire, and he stumbles upon the alpha he vowed himself to never see ever again, he realises that not even a lifetime will be enough for him to pick up the scattered, broken parts of his soul. He's far from expecting the alpha he loved to struggle the same way.

All the ointments in the world might never soothe the pain out, but it doesn't take long for both of them to come to the conclusion that, maybe, the only medicine to their heartbreaks are what caused them in the first place.

moonlit sky over gentle waters

A fic by stardustx on AO3 | stardxstlwt on Twitter

11k | Explicit | Louis/Harry | Tumblr post | Twitter post

"The King of the Pirates! Captain Harry Styles! The one who conquered the seven seas!" Louis boasts, sarcasm drips from his tone, mocking him.

The bar is clean, but he still scrubs just as fervently, his brows furrows and a small pout forms on those pink lips Harry desperately wants to kiss. He looks down, dubiously, at the address in his hand.

“Every lass and lad dreams of bedding a pirate like you.” Louis huffs, gazes up at him with a despondant look that reminds him of a grumpy kitten.

Silence fills the space as Harry mulls over his words. He finally looks up at Louis, blinking slowly. “Do they really?”

"You're an idiot."

OR Harry left his hometown to sail the seven seas and returns seven years later, yearning for something — or rather, someone — that he isn't sure he can have.

Short and Sweet

A fic by 5ft9 on AO3 | cinnamouroll on Twitter

29k | Explicit | Louis/Harry | Tumblr post | Twitter post

Louis is a shy university student in a world scarce of male omegas. He's always dreamt of having an alpha despite his sheltered upbringing, fantasizing about being loved and cared for. He's immediately smitten by the mysterious alpha with curly hair, broad shoulders, and the addictive coffee scent.

under thorn and bramble

A fic by thedeathchamber on AO3 | @louehvolution on Tumblr

32k | Explicit | Louis/OMC | Tumblr post | Twitter post

Prompt 445: A historical AU where Louis is working as a servant on a farm. The family that owns the farm is exceedingly cruel to him and he is often exhausted and in pain from his work. A mysterious stranger boards at the farm and is very intrigued by Louis, but Louis doubts his interest in genuine. Any pairing fine.

–

View the other roundup posts here:

Week #1 Fic Roundup

Week #2 Fic Roundup

Week #3 Fic Roundup

Week #4 Fic Roundup

Week #5 Fic Roundup

Week #6 Fic Roundup

Week #7 Fic Roundup

Week #8 Fic Roundup

#fics 2020

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hopelesslystruggling · 2 years

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I love the night. It’s so quiet and peaceful. I still find myself anxious though. I worked 65 hours at my main job this week but I am struggling to pay bills. I put in 25 hours at my second job but I am watching my bank account sit with $.28 to last till payday. Stuck in between making to much for help but not enough to live.

Granted my life isn’t terrible but I have so many loans I have taken out over the years to pay for my kids medical expenses. “You don’t have to pay for hospitals”, but you do have to pay for the specialist for the past 10 years for him before they will see your kids! I am drowning in debt and depression and if I could just pay even a few of these loans off that would help so much but I can’t. The payments on each being $200+ each on the loans I have out take most of my money. I had no choice but to get loans when my ex husband left and moved across the country to avoid child support and changed all his contact info. I did not make enough money to pay for the doctors and finding a job that would work with all the doctors appointments we had that I was doing alone as well.

My 2013 SUV that has 140,000 miles on it that I bought alone and I paid off alone while raising 3 children without support. Now needs a new cat converter, a new transmission, and a tune up. Purchase in 2016 with less than 20,000 miles, this car has drive to the Children’s hospitals in 2 different states more times than I can ever count. Almost $5k to fix my SUV but if I sold it right now and it didn’t have issue it’s worth $6k. I don’t have a choice but to fix it.

How is anyone supposed to live like this. I didn’t choose this life. I work so extremely hard every single day. I work 12 hour shifts, I have a side job, and before my car started falling apart I was doing DoorDash, Instacart, Grubhub, anything to get by. People in my life comment “ we don’t know how you do it you are always going and always working”. I’m not doing it! I’m failing. I am failing my kids and myself. I am broken and I need help but I smile and say “yeah, me either”. I do it for my kids but then I see them suffering because I am never around and I am always so stressed.

I work every chance I get pulling any over time over my 12 hour shifts I can just to scrape by and it sucks so bad. How are you not supposed to feel hopeless. I look at my kids everyday and wonder what life would be like if things were a little different. From the outside I put on a smile and don’t let people see me suffer but it hurts so bad. I make to much for any assistance but not enough to live. How is that fair?

A kid just was put on a new medication and it’s $1,500 I am not sure what my portion is yet or what discounts I can find (because I search!), but this is a new one on top of the over $200 I spend on medicine out of pocket a month. 1 of the specialists is $60 a week = $240 a month and they go every week. My other kid goes to a therapist weekly to deal with their abandonment issues cause from my divorce and my ex husband never calling or showing up again. This is a 100% requirement and non negotiable because their mental health hangs on by a string. After 2 insurances my co pay is still $88 a week =$352 a month.

Yesterday I got home and my youngest child runs in and knocks on my car door. They are having something at school and they showed me their wallet and told me they had $5.00 (change from their piggy bank). The moment they looked and told me “mommy doesn’t have money but I have money for school” . At 8 years old they do not even give me the forms for school activities because they know mommy doesn’t have that money. They are willing to count pennys to participate in a school activity and it BROKE me.

Last night I laid in bed and I sobbed. I wondered if they would be better off without me. $5, $5 measly dollars. They were right I didn’t have it. I had .$28 in my account but I did have $4 in cash from selling something on a yard sale page that I quickly handed them. I wanted to give up last night. The hopeless feeling is not new. I cry every day going to work and coming home. I cry myself to sleep most nights but last night… I wanted to give up. I am so extremely tired mentally and physically. I have been doing this for years and I always tell myself that if I can just catch a break that I will be ok. Lol if I could win the lottery. Not a lot but like $10k-$20k I could have my whole life set up and since I do have a “good” job we could live comfortably. Sadly my .28 is not enough to buy a lottery ticket.

Loans I currently owe:

$7,400.00 - a loan taken out to pay for a surgery for me. I had to meet my $2,500 Deductible. $7,625 was my 10% due BEFORE surgery. No choice but to take out a loan. I have paid off $2,700 of the loan though.. it is a month behind though.

$3,647.94 - this one sucks! $2,500 for kids deco for a procedure. $1,000 was my 10% co pay. Between the divorce and everything my credit went down the drain. This loan was only for $3,500 but the interest rate is so high I can not make a dent. Despite the fact that I pay $20 over the amount due each month and have had this loan 2 years!

$2,597.50- this was for medical equipment that insurance did not cover and the warranty was out on what we had when it broke. There are no grant programs, there are no charities that deal with this stuff, I promise you I have looked! This one I have been working on trying to get it paid. It is another high interest loan it was originally $4,000

$1,229.98- this one was only $2,400 originally this was for my insurance deductible (last year) when they needed a procedure done right after my insurance started over.

$1,000- this is what I owe on a loan because my insurance denied paying for an autism test…. (This one is paid ahead and I paid it to $1,000 even). It was originally $2,700 for the multiple days of testing.)

$4,020.54- this loan is the newest taken out in July of last year. My car needed repairs, my kids needed school stuff, we had just moved and some medical equipment was broken in the move (we moved ourselves so no insurance) my car insurance was due and I had to pay someone to stay with my kids for 4 days because I had mandatory training for work I had to travel for. I only took out $3,800 but high interest.

I know these seem small but these are $1200 a month of my life!! If I can get these paid off then that’s money we can use to travel and put into savings so I never have to take out a loan again!! That’s having money for car repairs and car payment since mine is giving out. I can’t work anymore because I’m always working. I try so hard every day and I am so tired. I have regular living bills too. How am I supposed to live knowing that it will never be enough. Why can’t I can’t a break. I just want to be able to breathe, to have a savings, to be able to give my kid $5 for school. I want my kids to be proud of me and be able to make memories with me other than knowing I work all the time. Here I am again trying to figure out how to fix my SUV so I can get to work and to doctors.

$blondegoth2000

is my cash app if anyone wants to help/can help.

I promise all money will go straight to paying off the loans… I’m not expecting anything because my life doesn’t work like that but I don’t know what else’s to do. I just want to live for once. Anyways, maybe venting it out helped me. I’m not here to convince anyone that my story is real and I promise that no one can make me feels worse than I already do as a human and as a mother. I know I am failing. So why not ask for help (on my lunch break at my job) and fail even harder.

#help help help #im broke #tired af #cashapp #sad but true #momlife #cash assistance #vent tag #vent post #personal vent #money #i need money #please help #helpless #medicine #failure

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runveganwankerrun · 1 year

Text

Mon 7th Nov '22

Another week when I had to bite the bullet and make myself step on the scales. I'm glad I did. The result wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

169.6lb.

I started blogging on Sept 9th and I am 2lb lighter since then. I had hoped it'd be at least four times that. It's better than being heavier of course, so positivity only in my head. If I say that often enough, I'll believe it. I shouldn't give the numbers on the scales such power over me. I know better! Non scales victories,or NSVs, are so much healthier, but that's easily said. An NSV, for the uninitiated, is anything that denotes weight loss without looking at actual weight. Great examples are being able to climb stairs without getting so puffed, putting your socks on without having to sit down or going down a size. All good stuff and not scales dependant.

I think a round up of the good things about last week would help. While not perfect, it started in an exceptional manner and was good in many ways. I ran twice. I ate far less processed food. I bought no sweets at all and my bread intake was less than it has been of late (see less processed food eaten above) I got through Saturday and Sunday without buying ice cream, crisps or marshmallows to chomp mindlessly mid afternoon in front of the telly. All good stuff to build upon.

I finally told someone about Manchester! Eek! It's out there now. In a very minor way, yes, but someone else actually knows. I didn't say it to his face, but sent him a message.

"If someone could run 5k in about 33 mins, and they foolishly signed up to Manchester marathon, but haven't told anyone, even their partner, and they were going to be running 5k every day in December anyway, would you be able to do a plan for them? Asking for a friend."

He said my friend was nuts, but he's very good. He's going to do me a plan starting next week!

Plans for after work today to keep me on track for an A+ start to the week are attending a hill session at club and cooking a lentil and root veg stew. I should have time to start it cooking before going running.

200g green lentils

2 or 3 large onions, chopped

3 or 4 large carrots, diced

1kg red skinned potatoes, diced

Salt, pepper and dried mixed herbs to taste

Sweat lentils with onions and a little water for about five minutes. Add the rest of the veg and some water to just cover them. Add seasoning to taste. I've said it before, but go easy on the salt. I'm far too prone to be heavy handed. A little at a time. It's easy to add more, but impossible to remove excess. Cook till lentils are tender and the veg are at a prefered level of soft. I love it to all cook in together, potatoes practically melted in.

This is great coz you can add other veg, like turnip or parsnip, as you like. I've mentioned that I'm basically greedy, so I can easily eat half of this recipe, slowly I'll grant you, In one sitting. I think that's about twice what a different person would eat. The basic recipe, divided into four, works out at approx 300 cals per serving. So low cal, but uber nutritious. A fave of mine. Versatile too. Leave out the spuds and just cook down the lentils, onions and carrots, and it's a savoury "mince" that you could make into a pie, or top with mashed potato for a cottage pie.

#whole food plant based #weight loss #running

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musedblues · 4 years

Text

Born To Love You [Part: 4]

summary: When Gwilym ropes you into a lie, the truth becomes painfully obvious. When Joe makes things harder, there’s no telling if he even has a clue.

a/n: Have I mentioned how much I love you lot? Because it's true! I do! 💖 Here is chapter 4 in all 'er glory. Feedback/ predictions/ and thoughts of any kind are always intensely appreciated of course! Stay well darlings 💞

w/c: 5k

Part 5

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

"Hello, my darling, my dear!" A familiar lilt floated past the door of your rented flat. Gwilym's mother was here.

You weren't entirely surprised to see her, she usually found some excuse to visit her son on whatever film set he used to occupy his time through the years. But she was terrible at surprises, and always let you know when she was planning on popping round. So why hadn't you heard from Mrs. Lee till now?

Before you had time to ask or even greet her properly, her arms were wrapped around your shoulders like a vice. Gwil's mother had always loved you- the first night you met, she assigned you a designated spot at the family dinner table. She never questioned your situation with her son. She always went out of her way to invite you to holiday parties and spontaneous family gatherings. And the times you had to miss out for one reason or another, and Gwil still brought Olive along, he'd bring her back to you with a message from his mother; how she'd missed you.

"What are you doing here?" You laughed into the woman's hair. Before Mrs. Lee answered, as you pulled away from the embrace, you noticed the look on Gwilym's face. You could tell there was something he'd been waiting longer than a couple of minutes to say.

"I invited her to stay for the weekend." Gwil grinned, sauntering closer to greet his mother with warm grandeur. To both of you, Gwil's mother's presence in the Airbnb was like a breath of fresh air. Olive was perhaps the most pleased of all, clamoring with laughter toward Mrs. Lee. She scooped up your daughter in a big hug and went on explaining her surprise visit...

"There's a show here in the city on Monday. I'm meeting some coworkers there, we've been planning for months! Anyway, I called Gwil to ask him to lunch and he doubled the offer! I'll be glad to watch Olive for a night, but before you leave we have to catch up."

"Leave? Where are we going?" You turned to Gwil as everyone settled further into the room. He seemed to already be waiting to tell you what he'd had up his sleeve.

"Lucy planned a party, tomorrow night. Rented a place to stay and everything."

"Oh...oh no-" You'd nearly forgotten. It was Joe's birthday.

"And I knew you'd try and get out of it. So, mum will stay here with Olive and when we get back on Sunday I'll blow my paycheck on taking her to a big fancy dinner as thanks." Gwil looked to his mother as she eased onto the sofa with a smile and a shrug, unopposed to being pampered.

"Gwilym!" You worried, trying to contain your panic but make yourself clear all the same. "I don't think I should go." You implored.

"It would be stranger if you didn't, don't you think?" Gwilym looked to you with a raised brow, his firm voice stirring the worry in your gut.

"Why are you two so on edge?" Mrs. Lee piped up from the sofa, where she sat unbothered by Olive yanking at the necklaces layered across her chest.

Neither of you could lie to her. So you and Gwil heaved a matching sigh and spun to sit on opposite sides of the room. And just like when James demanded to know what was up, Gwil took initiative in telling the story you'd been engulfed in for a while now- sparing a few details about arguments and longing gazes. His mother listened, showing little to no favor for which side she might have been on; hardly giving a single sign this situation shocked the woman to any degree.

"So, tomorrow is Joe's birthday. And we'll spend all night together in the thick of it." Gwilym rose a hand your way, almost like he was asking you what to do next. But he'd already planned everything out, hadn't he?

"Well," Gwilym's mother straightened. "That's the best time to work things out, without Olive around. Surely you can sit your friends down and explain things like adults, right?" She pointed a look to Gwil, one you imagined sent a chill down his spine as a boy, and maybe even still now.

"Right." He looked from her to you. And you knew he wasn't done scheming. You knew you were stuck between the promise you made to Lucy to be prepared to party, and whatever Gwil was up to now.

///

"Mama?" Olive grabbed the hem of your shirt in her fists as you flung your purse over your shoulder. Somehow, it sucked even harder every new time you had to leave her behind. She'd mastered the art of puppy dog eyes, her tears pooling, her lip quivering.

You promised her that you'd be back before she knew it. That she was in safe, fun-loving hands. But when the girl looked to Gwil who was toting your overnight bag to the front door, she was done for. Not even his excitable transaction of Olive's beloved one red-eyed bat stopped her tears.

And even though it felt impossible to walk out the door to the sound of her pleading cries, you knew she'd be okay. You wondered of your fate, though.

You left the rented car at the flat for Mrs. Lee, whose stories over homemade dinner and chatter over morning coffee lifted your spirits tenfold. Her excitement for spending a little more time doing just the same when you got back would likely keep you from drowning in your own worried thoughts. Off you went, all the while...

Lucy had rented some cottage in the hills. Apparently, she'd overheard Joe muttering about wanting to spend some time in the countryside before the production came to an end. The usual lot of you were invited to come ready to spend a night of fun, a night to celebrate Joe. He deserved that and more. But you certainly weren't worthy or prepared to join in such a celebration.

While your uber headed out of the city, you and Gwilym talked about how hard it was to leave Olive, how you couldn't wait for her to be a little older, easier to sneak in on the action. How you wished she'd stay small all the same. How Gwil stayed with you and your roommates the first week you brought Olive home, and how he hated to leave by the end of then. About the first day you left her with Gwilym when you went back to work, and how it seemed so easy because you knew how happy Gwilym was and that everything was fine.

As the forests of trees grew denser along the roadside, the ride became coated in a silence you mistook for shared reminiscence. But then Gwilym spoke up with a question you hadn't expected.

"If... if I hadn't roped you into being 'Mrs. Lee'..." He hesitated, almost afraid to ask. You, afraid to wonder.

"If I wasn't around when you met Joe..."

"If you weren't around, I wouldn't have met any of your lovely friends, honey." You gave your fake husband's hand a squeeze hoping he would take a hint.

By then, the uber was creeping up a gravel path to a cottage in the midst of pines and maples. The dull blue sky framed the quaint old home made up of worn brick and curtain shielded windows. Near the tri-colored brick chimney, Ben was stood smoking. His eyes (even from your view behind the tinted car window) somehow greener than the leaves that threatened to envelop your shelter for the evening.

Your conversation with Gwilym was officially cast aside, but you didn't miss his somber smile. The fact he felt for you muted the ache of adoration you felt for Joe at the mention of his name. You shook all those thoughts away on your clamor to solid ground.

Ben greeted the pair of you cheerily and led the way inside. No one else had made it yet. Ben said you and Gwilym were lucky to be early enough to choose the best room in the house. There were enough for everyone, around tight paint chipped corners. If you had to be locked in with everyone for an evening, at least it got to be in such a charming little space.

You and Gwil wordlessly abandoned your things on a small quilt covered bed and went to find Ben in the kitchen, proudly setting out all the liquor he managed to bring along. Rami and Lucy were in charge of bringing Joe, and a boatload of snacks. Gwilym must have been in charge of bringing you.

You knew it was important not to let a single crack split between your bond tonight, with no baby to hide behind. It wasn't hard to seem content, settling into a big comfy sofa as there three of you waited around. Beams of grey sun shot through the massive windows on the doors that lead outback. As you lost yourself to admiring the space, the others burst in.

Rami and Lucy carried a comical amount of bags in after Joe who was clearly ready to party. You couldn't help but laugh, out of all the ways he could have celebrated, he was delighted to stick himself in the middle of nowhere with the same group of people he was always stuck with anyway.

And just like that, you were all back together again like you'd been forever, like an afterschool special. It was easy to mix yourself in, just as easy as it might have been to stay in a far off corner. No one could focus on one thing long while they scattered off to explore the floor plan. After everyone had their share of admiring the nooks and crannies of the home, the fun began.

In the garden past the rickety steps of the porch, there was a tattered net already set up. Near the shed, Gwilym found a trunk full of dirty old sporting goods, and a tarnished blue volleyball was the only thing sturdy enough to play with. You teamed up and went wild like kids, like you all had at the play place outside Ben's favorite cafe. Except now you all relied on each other to play the same honest game.

Morale drifted from teasing banter to grunting curses as your scores were tied. You spiked the ball and won the first game. Celebration hardly lasted as chatter of a second round was on the rise. But when Lucy trodded of to catch her breath, you quickly decided to join her, riding your winning high.

She motioned you inside, making a b-line for the kitchen while the sun turned the world golden. Lucy appointed you to help her start making dinner as the boys continued playing volleyball to the death.

As their shouting at each other rattled the kitchen windows, Lucy unveiled ingredients for a homemade pizza. She'd heard Joe craving it the week before, and tonight was all about him.

"You're good at this." You pointed out, helping her set out ingredients along the counter space that wasn't crowded with booze.

"What?" Lucy laughed, cheeks still flushed from running around out back. Hair still windblown. Still so flawless. And kind, to top it off.

"Going out of your way to make people feel like they belong." You made clear. When you met, she'd gifted you the perfect handbag. Now she planned out Joe's birthday evening like her own, plotting for things he brought up in passing- things he probably hadn't realized anyone might have heard at all.

"I guess it's my love language or whatever." Lucy shrugged, moving about the kitchen. "My uncle married a hopelessly out of touch woman when I was thirteen. She heard I liked to read. So, for every holiday or birthday, this woman would alway buy me those dreadful penny novels from the market. The kind that are basically porn about pirates and vampires," Lucy laughed, and you did too. Those novels were definitely guilty pleasures. Who would think to gift them? Let alone to a teenaged girl who was probably just as wise beyond her years back then, too.

"I vowed to be a better gift-giver. But... I did always read those books." Lucy snorted a laugh. As you helped chop veggies and mix spices, she told you all the horrifically cheesy one liners from the novels she never wanted.

Soon your laughter drowned out the boys shouts from outside, and Ben rushed to join the party. He cranked music and danced around the kitchen while you prepared dinner, mixing drinks to test out the bevy of alcohol he’d purchased.

Rami joined in, while Joe and Gwil shared some kind of chat in the living room. You could see them past the wave of Rami's hand as he told a story. And no matter what they might have been talking about, the way Joe and Gwil kept stealing glances in your direction made your nerves stand on end. Luckily, you had enough vodka to stir up a different, much more manageable buzz.

It was picture-perfect organized chaos. You felt like you had back when you moved in with James and Andy, when they would throw parties just to celebrate random Saturdays. Back when you only knew Gwilym as the guy from down the road with a nice house and a pretty face. He still had those things, but now there was so much more that made up the tall man you willingly wrote your future off too. You missed Olive. But you knew she was happy and safe, and so were you. You took another shot to prove so.

"Come now." Lucy wheezed, a glass of wine and three shots of whiskey deep. She was still quoting the best of the worst lines she could remember from all those horrible romance novels she'd been gifted. "You're fighting your feelings for this man with all the strength of the Confederate Army."

"I'm sorry, what?" Joe gasped a laugh as he passed by, freezing in place. You and Lucy laughed too hard to explain why on earth she'd just said that. And when she caught her breath, Lucy only quoted something else,

"He tore open her blouse like a Publisher’s Clearing House letter."

"That's not real." You pointed, the ache in your gut finally from laughing too hard.

"Whatever you two are having, I'd like some." Joe decided, reaching past you to grab the bottle at your side. His arm brushing against your waist would have been enough to send you into a total blackout, but he just had to look right at you, too. As Joe grabbed the liquor and Lucy kept laughing, you noted that time seemed to stop; even on your second glass of rum. All because Joe dared to look right at you, like he so often did, like no one else ever had before.

Another drink, you decided. It had worked so far, and everyone else was on the quick path to getting wasted before dinner was finished cooking. Luckily, the smell of fresh sauce alerted everyone to gather around and conduct themselves to share a meal together.

The homemade pizza was better than you expected, and your hopes had grown very high as you helped make it. Everyone was in agreeance, scattered about the living room, paper plates in their laps, music still blasting from Ben's phone somewhere in the kitchen. But no one was happier than Joe. He raved over Lucy's thoughtfulness, and over the very tasty dinner that resulted. Rami poured everyone another drink as Ben insisted it was time for Joe to open his presents.

You all raced to collect the gifts you brought and made a very big deal out of making Joe take his time unveiling each. What more did you have to do than make an event out of every last minute together? To make sure Joe realized just how dearly he was cared for?

Ben had gotten Joe tickets to a rugby game, and some of his favorite English chocolates- Joe broke off pieces to share with every one of you. Lucy and Rami gave him an expensive-looking box of tea, alongside a clay mug decorated with stamps of delicate-looking dinosaurs.

Gwil got him a portable record player and said it was from the both of you. Gwil had taken notice that Joe was buying a bunch of vinyl on days off, and leaving the discs to collect in his suitcase for when he got back to New York. But he wouldn't be going home for a while still, so it seemed fitting to offer Joe a way to fill his drab Airbnb with some music until then. The auburn-haired lad lit up, and gave a heartfelt thanks to his extremely generous friends, insisting that an allnighter in this comfortable cottage was already more than enough.

"Oh wait, there's one last thing." You gave Gwil a sly smirk as you stood to pass a sealed envelope to Joe. Everyone leaned in close while Joe curiously unveiled a powder blue card with the words happy birthday simply scrawled on the front. It was blank inside, besides the harsh scribbles of crayon that Olive spent a long time jabbing into the paper. The 'drawing' was meant to be her birthday wish. You and Gwil singed your names at the bottom in pen, but you wrote Olive's name in the same pink crayon to match her efforts. You missed her.

"That is the cutest shit I've ever fucking seen." Ben cursed. It was your idea. Joe looked like he wanted to cry, but he only cracked up laughing for a very charming moment. Then he hugged you and Gwilym at the same time, repeating his thanks over and over again.

///

The drinks kept coming as night fell. You got tired of mixing your vodka and just went for it, because it really did kind of taste like blueberries. You all took turns in the only bathroom with a shower and eventually, Rami had roped everyone into some kind of drunk history type storytelling session.

Ben took a turn, jumping to his feet, anxious to tell the story of Frankenstein. The only problem being that he was hammered, and his efforts in recounting the details were hazy. So he started over from the beginning...

"Okay, pay attention everybody. Now," Ben slurred, spinning in the middle of the room to face where you sat on the opposite end of the sofa from Gwilym.

"So like, you and Gwil are Mary and Percy." Ben pointed. Gwilym looked your way as if he'd just realized you were on the other side of the couch. "And uh, Joe can be Byron! Everyone wants to sleep with him... I think," Ben decided, hazily looking back to you. "Okay so just pretend you really want to for the sake of this story. It's very important-"

"Why can't Lucy and Rami be the Shelleys?" You blurted out in wonder, uncomfortable with this drunken imaginary scenario. Gwil rolled his eyes and reached for his drink.

"Because you're the married lot," Ben pointed. Gwilym honest to God nearly choked on his liquor.

"Oh yeah. Hey, why don't you guys wear rings?" Rami pipped up from across the way, gesturing between you and Gwil.

"You don't wanna know the answer to that." Gwil chuckled. Three shots of vodka and four glasses of rum were no excuse to be so flippant. You shot the guy a glare, hardly caring if anyone else saw the warning in your eye so long as Gwilym did.

"Moving on, who will you be, Ben?" Gwyilm conducted everyone's attention to the man in the middle of the room. Ben propped one foot on the coffee table, swaying in place as he declared,

"I'm the bloody doctor!"

As the blonde stumbled through his story, Lucy passed out in Rami's arms. Joe seemed to be the only one laughing along with Ben, as his narrative progressed. Every time Ben pointed to you and Gwil, the tension between the pair of you boiled dangerous fiercer. Warning looks meant to keep each other quite turned into something darker, glares more bittered than pitying.

When Ben lost his place long enough for silence to fall over the lot of you, Rami carried Lucy down the hall, shouting pleasant goodnights to the rest of the gang. You decided it was a sign, and stood to call it a night as well. Ben moved slowly to collect empty bottles while Joe started to collect his thoughtful gifts.

"I hope you've had a happy birthday, mate." Ben smiled to Joe before the blonde moved to help Gwil pick up a few of the discarded plates and cups. Joe was gathering his mess of presents, stalling to admire the card you thought to give him.

"Thank you for this." Joe grinned in your direction, scanning the card again, and opening it to examine the scribbles of crayon meant to be Olive's well wishes. The man with fossils for eyes beamed like a fool and you couldn't help but do the same; moving by his side to glance over the scratched greeting from your daughter, to Joe.

"You guys made one cute kid," Ben spoke up across the room. You blinked up, catching Gwilym's nod of appreciation toward Ben. "Do you think you'll ever have any more?" He wondered, casually.

You gave an automatic, tipsy shrug, not opposed to the idea, just not with Gwil of course. But they didn't need to know that.

"No, actually." Gwil glared at you, like he was upset you weren’t playing along or keeping a low enough profile. Like he hadn't been just as dangerously close to giving yourselves away.

"Are you guys alright?" Ben timidly wondered after a beat. Gwil just clenched his jaw shut and spun around toward the kitchen to finish cleaning up. You didn't know the answer to Ben's question, either.

So you hurried after Gwilym, your vision blurred, but your intention clear as day. You found him throwing his rubbish out with a sigh.

"Why are you acting like this?" You hissed, stepping close so no one else could hear.

"Blame it on the rum, dear." Gwilym shrugged but shot you a look that let you know he knew exactly what he was doing. He turned further into the room as you shot back,

"Drunk isn't a synonym for stupid. You should know to keep your mouth shut, you're the one who started this."

"Then shouldn't I end it?"

"It will never end!" You'd always be trading school pick-ups and planning birthday parties together. You knew Gwilym knew that.

"But this has to end. You won't tell, and you won't let me tell, so we're gonna break up the old fashioned way, got it?"

"What are you talking about?" You wondered, exhausted.

"I don't want to be married to you anymore! If I had a ring I would throw it on the ground." He spoke, loud and clear enough to get you to see a little straighter.

"Gwilym, what the fuck?" You let out a stunned laugh. You knew what he must have meant, but the tone of his voice and the look in his eye hit you right where it hurt most. You weren't married, but you might as well have been. Gwilym agreed with that sentiment through laughter most of the time. Because he was your friend. But it suddenly seemed like he didn't want to be anything at all, with you.

The thick silence was back when Joe sauntered into the kitchen like he might have been breaking the rules. You couldn't be sure if he'd heard or not, but when you turned away from Gwilym's glare, you saw Joe stood looking at you like his heart was broken.

You made yourself turn from his troubled gaze, turning out of the kitchen.

Gwilym was reluctantly hot on your trail, offering a hurried goodnight to his friend before meeting where you'd run off to. The bedroom was suffocatingly small, when Gwilym shut the both of you in, it felt like the walls were closing in.

"I get that this is fucked. We're fucked. But no one was around to hear that, Gwil. We've always been on the same team."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean... I just..." Gwil deflated as you floated onto the side of the little bed in the corner.

"Just what?" You worried, bracing for impact, preparing for this night to end on the sour note that rang in your ears now.

"I thought by shutting you out... pushing you away, that... God, it sounds dumb to say out loud. I'm just sick of watching you pretend. You deserve so much better, y/n." Gwilym explained, heavy eyes screwing shut in frustration.

"Well don't fucking do that! You're all I've got." You plead in a sorry whimper. You knew that Gwilym was drunk. And you knew he felt bad for what he said and was trying to make it better, now, by hanging his head before you.

Why did this keep happening? There wasn't anything to say anymore, was there? How about the truth, for a change?

"I think I must love him." You gave a sad little shrug, eyes fixed on the wall ahead of you. "And I'm really afraid that it won't matter if we 'break up' or not."

Gwil made his way to where you sat, slumping to join your side. He wrapped a sorry arm around your shoulder and you leaned in. There was a dangerous rumble of tears bubbling far below your surface, distant enough to curse away.

"We should get some sleep." Gwilym gently moved you to lay back till your head hit the pillow. You watched on as he relaxed at your side without a second thought. Hardly a courtesy, just a routine. It brought you a faint glow of comfort either way.

"Thanks, Gwil." You hoped he registered your tone, and all the things you were grateful for in the moment. You laid in silence as Gwil drifted off at your side. Even if you wanted to close your eyes you couldn't, not with the way your mind raced.

"I'll always be here for you, ya know?" Gwilym mumbled from his sleepy state, eye closed. "I'm sorry for what I said."

You hummed after a beat, watching him sleep. Still, you just kept staring up at the ceiling while your fake husband drifted off at your side. Try as you might, you couldn't keep your eyes shut.

Once the patterns on the wall stopped spinning, you made a very quiet escape, padding out into the hall as softly as you could.

The cottage was dark and quiet, save for the fire still flickering in the chimney from the living room. You were drawn to it like a moth, but you stalled in the shadows at the edge of the light cast among the furniture. Someone else was up. Actually, it looked like Joe had never gone to bed.

"Couldn't sleep?" Joe asked quietly, noting your presence. He was standing near the large fog-covered picture windows, slowly shuffling toward the middle of the room. Your feet moved in the same direction, as you shrugged in indecision.

"What about you?" You wondered, meeting Joe in the middle of the living area. He looked at you for a beat before easing to the floor, where he crossed his legs and leaned against the sofa behind him.

"My parents called. I miss them." Joe admitted softly. You decided to sit next to him, but not too close. You brought your knees to your chest and admired how Joe's profile looked illuminated by flickering firelight. You hummed in understanding, and Joe took that as the sign to say more. He started talking about New York and his tenth birthday- one he spent in the mountains of the desert. He was disappointed to find out it was still chilly there, this time of year. Then he asked you why you were still awake- like he knew there was more to the story.

And too much time passed while you wracked your brain for an excuse that didn't point in the direction of the truth. Why was it so easy to be with Gwilym, but so hard to act like you wanted to be? Joe lowered his eyes and after a while of quiet, he spoke up again...

"I wish we met differently."

"I don't. You didn't say anything wrong, then." You snapped a little too quickly. He couldn't possibly take that moment away from you. It was all you had. And even though you should have known better than to allude to that fact that you clung to Joe’s fist words to you, it was probably obvious you did, anyway.

"I wouldn't change what I said." Joe pointed quietly, yet assured. It was as if the flames flickering before you jumped into your belly when Joe's eyes locked onto yours, again. Holy shit pull it together. You knew if you didn't leave the room very soon that you would make a royal fool of yourself.

"Happy birthday. I should head back." You sighed reluctantly, stretching your legs in front of you, wishing Joe might stop you from going. And then he did speak up again, but he didn't say what you wanted to hear...

"Sweet dreams, Mrs. Lee."

"Please don't call me that." You replied without thinking. Because you were still a little buzzed. Because you couldn't think around Joe anyway. You registered his slowly twisting expression as if he was wondering why you seemed so upset. As if, maybe, he knew...

"It's far too proper. We're friends right?" You lamented in a pathetic hurry, feeling a pit open in your chest all the while. Joe focused on you, and you knew he could tell you were grasping at straws. As you held your breath and Joe's gaze, you noticed a look in his eye, as if he were making a decision.

"Yeah... we're friends, y/n." Joe softly expressed. The leather sofa quietly crunched as Joe stood and turned toward the dark hallway.

"Goodnight." His voice sounded heavy, even as it floated away from you. You were left against the sofa with a broken heart and a killer headache.

///

The next afternoon, you watched Joe turn his head away from you on his way down the rickety porch steps, sullen. You tried to pass the moment off as a hurry, when you noticed Lucy and Rami practically jogging out of the place to catch the shared ride. Tomorrow was another early day on set. No more time to waste.

But then your heart was practically shattered when Joe offered you a pitiful one-armed hug and a flat generic farewell before disappearing in the back of an uber with his friends. Lucy and Rami both had time for a few parting sentiments. Joe hadn't even really looked at you all morning. He was even a little distant from Gwilym as they shared a brief goodbye.

Ben shared your uber back into London, and ten minutes into your hour-long commute, the sweet guy asked if you were feeling alright.

"Too much to drink." You passed off the easy excuse and couldn't help but rest your head on Gwilym's shoulder. You wanted comfort. You knew he would give it to you, no questions asked, just like always.

He'd woken up last night when you came back to the tiny bed feeling much worse than you had before leaving there. You didn't know it, but Gwilym heard Joe tell you goodnight before you came back into the room. Since then Gwil was aching to know what happened- if anything. Something had to have by the way he monitored Joe's rushed goodbyes today and your sulking. If Ben would just, put headphones in, or something...

But you were perfectly content leaning against Gwilym and letting your stare gloss over. You started to convince yourself things were supposed to be this way. You tried to focus on heading back to Olive and Gwil's mother, the fun you were likely to have with the kind woman while she was still in town. But then she'd leave, and you'd be back to simply convincing yourself, like now. Ben caught your sulking stare, and you caught him studying you. The blonde's gaze lingered on you as if he knew something was very wrong... as if he knew you were lying. But what about, this time?

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

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