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#Destroyer Duck
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Jack Kirby draws Destroyer Duck #3
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browsethestacks · 8 months
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5 Random Comics
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cryptocollectibles · 1 year
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A 10 Issue Savage Lot (1993-2002) Comic Books Written and drawn by various.  
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gootie · 7 months
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Drink 'n draw was a double homage to both Steve Gerber and ducks so I drew Destroyer Duck, his collab with Jack Kirby. Fun times with @artildawn @banzaiboy @hakuai.designs @solocutart & @jonjmurakami
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ironsaguaro · 11 months
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Destroyer Duck: Graphite Edition! Hundreds of Kirby Pencils from His Mos...
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reluctantscribe · 1 year
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Hey there everyone, just saw, “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3” for the second time, this evening… and I can proudly say, without a doubt in my mind, that this was the MCU’s greatest triumph. I have a bit of a bias though, because the Guardians have been my favorite MCU characters since their first movie debuted in 2014. That movie really struck a chord with me, and is probably the single most important piece of media in the shaping of who I am today. Right down to my sense of humor and my taste in music. I’m also biased because Rocket has been my favorite MCU character since Vol. 2 came out in 2017. Going on this journey, his journey… was truly special. I won’t say too much, I do not want to spoil this movie for anyone.
It’s a fun film, but it’s a heartbreaking, sometimes hard to watch story. But god it has heart. If you’ve seen it, feel free to hit my inbox and talk to me about it. I cannot stop thinking about this movie.
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frc-ambaradan · 1 month
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Uh-oh! Someone's in trouble...
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Paperino Paperotto: un magico mondo alla fattoria - La mappa del tesoro (2024)
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phantastragoria · 9 months
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I FORGOT TO POST THESE HEREEE my little Eidos Drax and Pete rubber duckies that I painted whilst visiting my bestie (Paint and clay supplied by @bimboviolence and their bf)
I was dumb and didn't take more progress shots so here is a poor image of them prior to getting painted (Drax was the weird red splotchy duck and Pete was the polka dots) and mid-way painted lol
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mrwolfhare · 5 months
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Howard the Duck #1 (2023) Nov 29, 2023
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Guess who saw Guardians 3 today lol
Jim Sterling/Negaduck: "WE'RE GONNA KILL ANYONE WHO GETS IN OUR WAY!!!!
Drake Mallard: "No!!! Not kill anyone."
Jim Sterling/Negaduck: "Kill a few people...
Drake Mallard: Kill NO people.
Jim Sterling/Negaduck: Kill one guy, one stupid guy that no one loves.
Drake Mallard: .......... Now you're just making it sad.
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cinema-wasps · 10 months
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fighting the oliver voice in my brain telling me to buy a fez cosmetic in every flash game i open
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argoflashblade · 2 years
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«Team of the past»
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With the names of the others I think
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echerocast · 2 years
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vivwritesfics · 4 months
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I'd Follow You Across The Galaxy
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Y/N Skywalker loved her husband. She loved him through everything. Even when he turned to the dark side, she still loved him. But she couldn't be with him. She had her babies to protect. Her husband would follow her across the galaxy.
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A collection of moments from Y/N and Anakin's relationship, recounted as she travels across the galaxy.
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Travelling alone through the universe, Y/N Skywalker had a lot of time to think. She thought about her name, how, even though she was still married, she'd have to change it to her maiden name.
She thought of the friends she hadn't seen since the end of the war, the children she had sent off to keep safe, the husband who had died in front of her.
The Clone Wars were something Y/N thought about often. She and her husband had fought side by side. It was when they fell in love. Her favourite thing to think about was when they first met.
“Princess Y/N from Idobaar has been kidnapped yet again,” Obi-Wan said to his Padawan learner. “We are to find her and bring her back to Coruscant. That way the Jedi Council can keep an eye on her,” he said.
Anakin Skywalker had heard of Princess Y/N from Idobaar before. He had heard stories of her beauty, but also of her recklessness. If she was kidnapped, it wasn’t because guards weren’t doing their jobs, but because she had wandered away and gotten herself into trouble.
Obi-Wan and Anakin only took a small ship to rescue the princess. Something that would allow them to move almost undetected through the stars. They found the vessel she was being kept on and made their way onboard.
The Jedi had to remain undetected for the safety of the princess. With the help of R2, they snuck their way through the ship, easily locating the cell Princess Y/N was supposed to be kept in. The key word there being ‘supposed’. It was empty, the door already open. A destroyed droid was beside the door, its blaster missing.
“I have a bad feeling about this,” said Obi-Wan as he looked at the droid.
Blasts from further down the hall. The Jedi unsheathed their lightsabers and took off towards the sounds.
It was a blood bath. Or, it would have been if droids could bleed. Princess Y/N of Idobaar was ducking into alcoves, emerging only to shoot at droids. As Obi-Wan and Anakin rushed towards her, a droid had a lucky shot. The princess cried out as it hit her arm and ducked behind the alcove.
The two Jedi took care of the droid’s Y/N had yet to destroy. Once they were finished with, Anakin put his lightsaber away and walked towards the Princess. “Princess Y/N?” He asked, offering her his hand.
“Who in the world are you?” She asked, accepting the help and getting to her feet. Her hand held her injured arm, keeping it close to her body.
Anakin took only seconds to observe it. There was no medical droid onboard their small ship; they would need to get her to an infirmary as soon as they got back to Coruscant. “I am Anakin Skywalker—”
“A Jedi?” Asked Y/N interrupting him.
More droids were approaching, that was easy to tell from the readily approaching footsteps. The Jedi wasted no time in moving Y/N along, running her back towards their ship. There was no point them moving under the cover of stealth, not when Y/N had already caused so much commotion.
As they ran she blasted, using her uninjured arm to shoot behind her. Obi-Wan and Anakin did their bit in cutting down droids and protecting the princess. They got her back onto their ship with no more injury and flew her back to Coruscant.
Of course, they were followed. Little fighter ships followed them, but Anakin was quick to take care of it. It was his flying skills that caught Y/N’s eye first, he would always say after this.
"Anything on the scanner?" Y/N asked her ship. It really was an incredible piece of engineering, a vehicle with a personality of it's own. Ship made a noise, something only Y/N could decipher.
Nothing. No Imperial Star Destroyers behind her.
"How about we stop at the nearest planet and get some rations?"
Ship made another noise.
"If you think you can hold out that long before we have to refuel," she replied, patting her steering mechanism.
Before Y/N met her husband, she couldn't fly a ship. He was the reason she learnt.
“So, I’m to be kept on Coruscant as a prisoner?” Y/N yelled, staring at Mace Windu.
The Jedi Master sent her an unimpressed look. He had better things to do than look after a spoiled princess. “Your parents have requested that you be kept here under the watchful eye of the Jedi,” he replied, clearly fed up with her already. Y/N seemed to have that affect on people.
Anakin watched from a distance as Mace Windu got more and more annoyed with her. Never angry, though. He was a Jedi Master, after all. “We have assigned Obi-Wan Kenobi and his Padawan to protect you,” Anakin heard him say.
“You mean the guys that saved me?!” Y/N suddenly shrieked. But then her expression changed. She thought about it for only a few seconds  before nodding. “Yeah, okay.”
Looking past Y/N, Mace Windu summoned Anakin forward. The Padawan walked towards Y/N and bowed. "Princess," he said, taking her hand and kissing the back of it. "It is good to see you again."
Y/N just gave the Jedi a look. She grinned, turned on her heel and walked away. Anakin followed her silently, his hands clasped behind his back. “So, Padawan learner, where is your master?” She asked him as they stepped into the elevator.
“The Jedi council has sent him on a mission,” he answered. “I will be your protector.”
Protector, Anakin liked the sound of that. He would be the one to protect Princess Y/N of Idobaar.
"I don't need a protector," she spat back as the elevator arrived at her new room. The room Y/N didn't want. "I shouldn't even be here on Coruscant!"
All Anakin could do was watch as she stormed into her room and pulled the door shut behind her.
Anakin looked around the foyer. It was where all of Y/N things had been placed, her possessions from Idobaar brought over to make her feel more at home and comfortable. One bag was open and full of dresses. Funny, Anakin couldn't imagine Y/N in a dress.
The first time he'd met Y/N, she'd been wearing a shirt and trousers, a holster strapped to her leg. Her outfit now was much the same, just without the holster.
Anakin looked to her room. Being a Jedi he could feel her in there, except he couldn't. He ran at the door, throwing it open as he went. If Anakin had lost her already, he'd never hear the end of it.
Princess Y/N of Idobaar was nowhere to be seen. Her bed had been stripped, her sheets tied to the bed post and hanging out of the open windows. Running over, Anakin's eyes followed the sheets to the roof of the slightly smaller building just below them.
Throwing his head back, Anakin let out a groan and jumped out of the window after her.
Y/N had her arms out, balancing her way across the roof. Her steps were slow, steady as she concentrated on staying up there.
There was a noise overhead, but Y/N wasn't concentrating on that. She had hours before her Jedi protector noticed she was gone.
But then he landed in front of her. Y/N stumbled back as he did so, but the Jedi was quick to grab a hold of her. "You really haven't spent a lot of time around Jedi, have you?" Asked Anakin as he kept her upright on the roof.
"So what if I haven't?" She glared up at him, but Anakin didn't release his hold. Y/N softened her expression. "Okay, fine. I don't want to be stuck here on Coruscant until my parents want me home. I just want some freedom before I'm trapped," she said.
What happened the last time she got some freedom? She got herself kidnapped.
And then, Anakin had a plan. "What if I took you flying?"
"Flying?"
Anakin nodded his head.
"What, so just outside of the planet?" It would take maybe five minutes at most.
Anakin just gave her a look.
***
Y/N loved flying. When she was younger and her parents took her on diplomatic trips, her favourite part was travelling there. Y/N sat in the cockpit, watching as Anakin flew the ship. He made it look so easy.
"I've never flown a ship before," Y/N confessed as she watched him.
A grin covered Anakin's face as he began to show off, manoeuvring around other ships. When he got to a wide open space, Anakin stopped the ship and pushed his chair back. "Want to give it a try?"
Y/N sat.
Where did she sit? Why, on Anakin's lap, of course. He helped her to fly it, taking things nice and slow. Anakin had her doing his manoeuvres from before, just at a much slower pace.
He let her drive until they were coming in for a landing. That was when Anakin had to take over once again. Once they were back on Coruscant, Y/N turned towards him. "Nice lesson, Jedi," she said with a giggle. "Maybe we can do this again while I'm stuck here."
Anakin stood from his seat. He followed behind Y/N as she left the ship. "Will you stay on Coruscant now, your highness?" He asked her as he held the door open.
"I'll think about it," she answered, stepping into the elevator.
That was a large number of years ago. So much had changed since then. When Y/N thought about things like that, about how things were all those years ago, it hurt.
It hurt being alone, drifting through the universe. It hurt not having a co pilot to keep her company. Ship was the only friend she had now that her husband was dead.
Y/N checked the coordinates. "Uh, Ship? Why are we heading to Tatooine?"
This time, when Ship made his noises, Y/N couldn't figure them out. Tatooine was fast approaching, but Ship wasn't slowing down. "Give me control!" Y/N cried, sitting back in her seat. "Ship! We're gonna crash!"
And crash they did. When Ship hit the sand, Y/N went flying forward, through the windshield and out into the desert.
Stranded.
They were stranded. Y/N laid in the sand. The Tatooine sun beat down on her, frying her. But she couldn't feel it - she was out cold.
***
Y/N woke up with a panicked start. She had been attacked, hadn't she? There was no way Ship would have just crashed other wise. She looked around at where she was, at the person in the corner of the cave. "Oh my God," she whispered, pushing herself to a sitting position.
It was somebody she had not seen for a great many years, somebody she'd grown to care for like a friend. She'd grown to miss him over the last ten years, too. "Obi-Wan?"
The last time Y/N had seen the man, he hadn't looked quite so haggard. The last time she had seen him, he had saved her and her babies from the clutches of Darth Vader
"That is a name I have not heard for many years," answered Kenobi as he stood up. "Now, what are you doing here on Tatooine, your highness?"
Y/N shook her head from side to side. "I don't know. Ship and I have been drifting for years, landing when we need to and avoiding Vader and his men at all costs. He suddenly landed me here with no word."
"Well, at any rate, I am glad to see you."
Obi-Wan gave her what rations he had and something to drink. "I'll see what I can do for Ship," he said, but Y/N knew what he was thinking. If Anakin was here, he'd be able to fix Ship in a heartbeat.
There was a question Y/N had been dying to ask Obi-Wan since the moment she woke up in his cave. One question she was was terrified of hearing the answer of.
"Obi-Wan, what happened to Luke and Leia? Have you seen them at all?"
Obi-Wan took his time answering her. Which filled her with anxiety.
"Let me show you," he finally said and Y/N let out a breath.
Kenobi took Y/N away from his cave, to a cliff. They sat themselves on the little ledge and Obi-Wan pulled out his Macrobinoculars. He looked first, making sure the little boy was still there, playing with his toys.
And then he passed the Macrobinoculars to Y/N. "Right there," he said and pointed.
When Y/N looked, she let out a gasp. There he was, the little boy she hadn't seen since the day he was born. Y/N watched him play in the Tatooine sand with his toy that looked a little bit like Ship. He was playing just outside of the moisture farm Y/N had visited only once before.
He was with good people, people that had taken care of Y/N in her hour of need.
"No, master Jedi, nobody is trying to kill me," said Y/N as she marched back to her room in Coruscant. It had been her home for a year now, with her Jedi protectors following her every move.
Y/N had spoken to her parents only a handful of times since they'd sent her to Coruscant. They were paranoid and wouldn't have her home any time soon. She missed her home, missed the palace and the friends she had there.
"Your highness, please," Obi-Wan began. "We just ask you be cautious. Our job is to protect you in any way we can; please don't make our job difficult."
Y/N let out a sigh. "Fine," she mumbled, sparing a glance at Anakin. "I'll be on my best behaviour."
The next few days passed somewhat normally for Y/N. When she left her room, Anakin was right behind her, close enough to touch. But he didn't; he kept his distance. That was the Jedi way.
But then, three days after Obi-Wan sat her down to speak with her, things started going wrong. The Jedi believed that, with Y/N safely in her room and with two guards outside of the door, they would be able to go to Jedi council meetings. Y/N, too, thought she was safe for that little while.
As Anakin returned to Y/N's room, he sensed something. Something that wasn't right. He ran into Y/N's room, lightsaber drawn. Y/N let out a gasp as Anakin cut off the hand of the person at the window. They were on the other side, hole cut in the glass for their gun.
"Holy Shit!" Y/N cried, turning to face the Jedi. "What happened?"
Anakin's breath was short as he stood with his lightsaber held above him, looking for the assailant. Before he could answer Y/N, he was jumping out of the window, chasing after the person trying to kill her. "Anakin!" Y/N cried as she leaned over the now broken window, watching as he disappeared between the speeders.
Okay, so maybe somebody was trying to kill her.
The Jedi council set Obi-Wan on the job of finding her assassin. While Obi-Wan worked, Anakin was tasked with looking after Y/N. "We should get off of Coruscant," he said as he sat on Y/N's bed.
"But where can we go?" She asked him. As much as she agreed, Y/N couldn't think of a single place safer for her. She couldn't go back to Idobaar, not when her parent's didn't think it was safe. But then she thought of somewhere. "My parent's are close to the Queen of Naboo. Maybe she'd host us," she suggested.
Anakin sat there, watching her as she packed her bags. She was beautiful, but Anakin had always known that. He couldn't tear his eyes away from her - it made his work as a Jedi very difficult.
The Padawan was hellbent on protecting her. He carried her things to their transport, said goodbye to Obi-Wan and took her to Naboo.
Senator Amidala was there to greet them when they arrived. She greeted Y/N with an embrace and gave Anakin a polite hello.
Naboo was where Y/N and Anakin camped out until Obi-Wan had caught her attempted killer. It was warm, sunny, peaceful. They sat by the lake, watching the sunset. They ate a decadent feast, but only once they'd taken the food up to the room Y/N had been placed in.
But, while they were on Naboo, Anakin was having nightmares. Y/N had never noticed before, but with only a thin wall between them, it was hard not to.
"What is it, Ani?" She asked one morning. When she woke up, she saw him outside of her room, on the veranda.
They were stood so close, but not yet close enough to touch.
"It's my mother," Anakin answered, staring at the water in front of them. "I keep dreaming of her, having nightmares."
His mother. Y/N knew the story, of how Qui-Gon Jinn had found him and his mother, slaves on Tatooine, how he had placed a bet with the man who owned him and had taken Anakin to learn the ways of the Jedi.
"What if we went to Tatooine?" Y/N suggested. "You have the power to free her, now."
Y/N said a farewell to the Queen of Naboo and they were on their way, flying to Tatooine. It was a peaceful trip, Y/N and Anakin sitting side by side, still close enough to touch but not quite. If she moved her hand even an inch, she would have been touching him. Would he be warm to the touch, his skin burning beneath her touch? Would his hands be rough and calloused from the years of Jedi training, or would his touch be soft?
When they landed on Tatooine, Y/N followed Anakin. He spoke to people in a tongue she couldn't understand, leaving Y/N to stand beside him, watching the interaction.
The thing that used to own Anakin directed them to a moisture farm. That was where the man who now owned Anakin's mother would be. And that meant that was where his mother would be.
They set off, heading out towards the moisture farm.
When they got there, they were met with the nicest people and the worst news. Shmi married the man who bought her and had been living with him and his son at the moisture farm. But then she was kidnapped by Tusken Raiders and nobody had seen her since.
"I have to free her," said Anakin as soon as they told him what had happened to his mother.
The suns were setting as Y/N looked at the Jedi she loved. No, not loved, not yet. "Ani," she whispered, reaching towards him. But, before her fingertips could meet his skin, she pulled away.
"Stay here, Y/N, please. They'll look after you here; they're good people," he said.
But Y/N wasn't quite ready to let him go yet. Not without a proper goodbye. Y/N grabbed the front of his Jedi robes and pulled him in. She pressed her lips to his and closed her eyes.
Taken by surprise, Anakin was stood there for just a moment before his body reacted. His hands settled on her waist and he closed his eyes, kissing her back. It was slow and sweet and tender. It was everything the two of them had been waiting for.
When Anakin pulled away, he reached up and pushed her hair out of her eyes. He didn't say anything as he left. Y/N watched him walk away. She waited until he was out of sight before returning to the moisture farm.
"What about Leia?" Asked Y/N as soon as she put down the Macrobinoculars. But then she shook her head. "It's better if I don't know."
It was one of Y/Ns greatest fears, Vader finding her and discovering the existence of their children.
"Why here?" Y/N asked as she passed back the Macrobinoculars back to Obi-Wan.
Obi-Wan looked at her. "I thought it best if he grew up with family," he answered.
She spared one last look at Luke through the Macrobinoculars, still playing with his toy ship.
While Obi-Wan helped her to get Ship repaired, she hid in the cave he called him. It was a quick ordeal, Obi-Wan using Jedi mind tricks to speed the process along. He wouldn't use them for anything else, but she was desperate to get away.
It was two weeks before Y/N was flying away on Ship once again. She patted the steering mechanism, happy to have her only friend back. "Get us out of here, Ship," she said.
Ship made a series of noises. "Thanks, pal," Y/N whispered as she looked at their surroundings, the familiarity of space.
Until she crashed on Tatooine, Y/N had managed to keep track of Vader and his fleet of ships. But now, she had no idea where they were. She couldn't tell if she was flying towards them or away from them.
Vader. She remembered the day she met him. But that wasn't a story for right now. So, she thought about Anakin, about the first time he told her he loved her.
Obi-Wan was in danger. Who better to save him than his padowan learner? But Anakin didn't think so.
He had a princess to protect, and he was going to protect her with his life. Besides, they were on Tatooine and Obi-Wan was on Geonosis.
Ever since Y/N had first come to Coruscant, Obi-Wan had been kind to her. He'd protected her with his life, and it was about time she did the same.
So, she thanked Cliegg, Owen and Beru. Whether Anakin was following her or not, she marched over to their ship. "You shouldn't have taught me how to fly," she mumbled when Anakin walked onto the ship behind her, the door shutting after him.
Anakin grabbed onto a chair as Y/N flew the ship. She wasn't very good - there was a reason her future vessel was going to be something that could practically fly itself.
He took over, taking control of the ship from her. "You're not gonna turn us around, are you?" She asked, giving him the pilots seat.
Anakin shook his head. "As long as you promise to let me take the lead, we'll go save Obi-Wan. Just, stay behind me and stay out of trouble," he said. Y/N nodded, reaching for his lightsaber. But Anakin had the force - he could sense it as she reached. "No!" He called and Y/N quickly withdrew her hand.
It wasn't long beside they arrived on Geonosis. Anakin tried to be stealthy, but that wasn't Y/N's specialty. She took down the first droid she came to, stole its blaster and went charging in, head first.
Anakin couldn't stop the small grin crossing his face as he followed her. His lightsaber was drawn as he fought of droids, Y/N continuing to push forward.
And then she found herself on the droid assembly line. Jumping over and around parts, taking out droids as they were being built. It shouldn't have been fun, but it was. And Anakin could tell. He couldn't help but being distracted as she punched a droid, knocking off the head that hadn't yet been properly attached.
But then they got themselves captured. Anakins lightsaber was knocked out of his hand and several finished droids surrounded Y/N. They were well and truly screwed, blasters pushed against their backs as they were forced to walk forward.
Their hands were chained together and they were placed on a chariot. If they weren't about to die, it would have been both magnificent and romantic. But they were, almost quite literally, being marched to their deaths.
"I love you," he said before they were paraded out in front of the crowed. "I'll do whatever I can to protect you."
Y/N tried to step closer. She looked up at him as she leaned towards him. As she did, Anakin dipped his head, pressing his lips to hers. It was slow, gentle, and so full of love. His lips slotted against hers oh so perfectly, soft and pillowy.
Intoxicating. He was intoxicating. They were about to die, and Y/N couldn't think of a better way to go.
"I'd do anything for you," whispered Anakin as they were paraded around. "I'd follow you across the galaxy," he said.
Y/N leaned up to kiss him once more. "If I'm travelling across the galaxy, you'll be right there beside me."
It was hard to keep track of where Darth Vader could have been, Y/N realised as the great, large ship appeared in front of them. It was much bigger than her own, its tractor beam easily pulling them in.
He had found her.
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the antichrist's wellness influencer era
HELLO, SINNERS, welcome to my youtube channel, I'm Adam, the Antichrist, Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is called Dragon, Prince of this World, father of lies, Spawn of Satan, Lord of Darkness.
Today I want to talk to you about the law of attraction, a trend that's been circulating in the self-improvement community recently. And hey, I'm all about the law of attracting! TODAY WE'RE MANIFESTING OUR BEST, MOST SINFUL LIVES.
Now I know some of you are skeptical. Manifestation? What kind of nonsense is that, it's not for us Satanical sinners! Well, I'm here to tell you that is ABSOLUTELY IS. NOT JUST MANIFESTATION, BUT ITS SINFUL BROTHER, DELUSIONS.
LET ME SHARE A REAL LIFE STORY.
I HAVE USED MANIFESTATION MYSELF. IN FACT, I USED IT AT THE EARLY AGE OF ELEVEN. I USED IT TO REVERSE THE APOCALYPSE! Not only that, I delusioned my way out of my bloodline of darkness, made myself related to my adoptive family, created duck aliens, possessed my friends and defied heaven and hell!
SO YOU SEE, YOUR DELUSIONS CAN NOT ONLY MANIFEST YOUR FUTURE, BUT ALSO REWRITE YOUR PAST. BE DELULU. IT WORKS.
Of course, I then reclaimed my Antichrist identity for this Youtube channel, because my good friend Pepper said I needed to stick it to the patriarchy and shake the status quo of the current self-improvement clime. She then said this is not what she meant by that, but HEY! THE LESSON IS, DON'T FOLLOW THE PACK, CARVE YOUR OWN PATH, EVEN IF IT'S A STUPIDER ONE!
MY GOOD FRIEND CROWLEY ALSO MANIFESTED HIS WAY THROUGH THE DREAD SIGIL ODEGRA, DRIVING HIS CAR INTO FLAMES AND EMERGING THE OTHER SIDE.
ALL BECAUSE HE WAS ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY DELULU!
I TURNED THE HELLHOUND INTO MY LIL DOG NAMED DOG, AGAIN THROUGH SHEER DELULU!
THAT'S ALL FOR TODAY, SINNERS. I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND THE POWER OF DELULU.
AS USUAL, MAKE SURE YOU GET YOUR DAILY MINIMUM OF THREE OF THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS. I'M GOING WITH SLOTH, GLUTTONY AND PRIDE! COMMENT BELOW WHAT SINS YOU'RE INDULGING IN TODAY, TRADITIONAL SEVEN OR OTHERWISE.
SIGNING OFF WITH MY SIGIL, THIS WAS THE ANTICHRIST. MAY SATAN GUIDE YOU DOWN THE ROAD TO HELL.
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captaincapsicle83 · 2 months
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The Little Pests
Bucky Barnes x reader
Summary- Sam’s friend, an IT worker for Stark Industries turned new recruit, has a crush on an avenger. Being a good wingman (hehe, get it?) does everything he can to get the reader and Bucky closer, even enlisting the help of other avengers.
It’s almost obnoxious actually.
Pairings: Bucky x Reader (main romance, rest platonic), Sam Wilson x reader, Clint Barton x reader, avengers x reader
TW: Cursing, Sam and Clint being silly, “suicide” but like, it’s a bobs burgers reference (you’ll see)
A/N: I was bored, so I pushed aside EVERY OTHER WIP I should be working on (about eight separate ones), left all my drafts open, completely ignored my old, geriatric ideas, and wrote something off a whim
Behold, my capricious work of art
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“And, this is our kitchen, that’s our toaster. The toaster is always broken don’t try to use it,” Sam says. His right arm is on your shoulder, the left gesturing around the room, showing you around he compound.
“Why doesn’t it-” You’re cut off by a man with light brown hair swatting the toaster with his fist.
“You whore! I want my poptart!” He grunts.
“He’s why,” Sam shakes his head, and rolls his eyes. Clint Barton; Hawkeye, Destroyer of toasters.
Clint whips around, disgust evident on his face, “Oh, no, no, no, Sir. Don’t act like I’m suddenly the only one to blame here. Take a look at Mr. Banner and his anger issues, the cyborg, or, better yet Sammy, look in the fucking mirror.”
You decided right then and there that you liked Clint. “Sammy” scowled at Barton, before motioning for you to sit at the table. He had already shown you around the rest of the compound, including your room, making the kitchen your last stop.
As Sam rummaged through the cupboards, Clint sat in a chair across from you, groaning and huffing like an old dad with aching joints (Clint couldn’t be more than in his thirties or fourties’).
“Are you here to fix the toaster?” He asks you, his voice sad and his eyes even sadder. He was like those little animals with big eyes of pleading in Disney films.
“No, I’m sorry. I could try,” you suggest the last part, and he perks up. He sits up straight in his chair, rather than sprawling, and shifted to drumming his hands on the table.
“Met anybody else yet?” He asks, Sam still looking for food with not much luck.
“Nada, just you and Sam,” You say, truthfully. You had honestly expected more traffic, but were just the same grateful to be mostly undisturbed.
“Oh, good, you’re lucky. After us, it all goes down hill,” He “tsk-tsk”’s. “Let’s give you a run down. There’s Bruce and Tony, they’re our brains. They don’t sleep. They’re, like, tier two after Sam and I. Also tier 2, we got Natasha and Wanda. They’re scary. I will not elaborate. Tier 3, Vision, Thor, Rhodes, Spider-Kid. Mostly uneventful around the compound, Visions here the most, other three not as much. Then there’s our senior citizens in the bottom tier. Steve and Bucket. If they were a spice, they’d be flour.”
The way Clint was talking, it felt like the scene in mean girls where Janice and Damien find Cary in the bathroom. You were giggly at his little hand motions and theatrical way of painting the scene.
“What makes you and Sam tier 1?” You ask, Sam coming over with two jars of peanut butter, spoons sticking out of them.
“Birds!” They both yell to each other. When you make a face at Sam’s offer of a jar of peanut butter, Clint takes it right away. You watch in wonder as the two bicker with each other, getting the feeling they were the only ones who found themselves to be “tier 1.”
***
You had been with the avengers for, say, about 7 months, finding it easy to make friends and have fun between missions and SHIELD duties.
“Well,” Clint was saying to you and Sam, the three of you sitting at the compounds dining table, coloring with crayons on printer paper. “I’m glad you two are having fun, because I am going to kill myself.”
He holds up a poorly manufactured picture of a duck. You all convulge into a set of late night giggles.
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It was four am, and you had all just returned early from a mission. After a mission, especially one where you could sleep on the way back, you sometimes found it nice to unwind with your teammates.
As you all tried to compose yourselves, you didn’t even notice someone else enter the kitchen part of the kitchen, not until Sam called out to them that is.
“Hey, Buck, what’s up?”
“Hmm? Nothing. Coffee,” He looked startled, then straight back to basically being dead tired. The bags under his eyes looked like they just took a trip to Costco.
He looks reluctant, and like his mind has to do a lot of mental gymnastics to convince himself to do so, but ultimately he sits down at your table.
You’re drawing a picture of some birds (well, what was supposed to look like birds) in a little bird house. Your heart was beating about 10 decibels faster, and your hands became more unsteady.
Clint and Sam both privately took note of your change in demeanor. The way instead of using circle motions either your crayons, as you had been, you were pressing harder and going up and down. And how you simply just layer them on the table rather than back in the box. And the short sweet glances sent to one new person at the table….
***
Private messages between Sam Wilson and Clint Barton that you should never have seen, had you not been playing candy crush on Clint’s phone one Saturday morning. You’re a snooper, you snoop, it’s what you do.
Wednesday 5:36 am
Clint: Are you sleeping bbb
Sam: that best better not stand for what I think it does…
Clint: Y/n left me after you and Bucky did. Think the girl needed time to fantasize
Sam: YOU NOTICED TOO
Clint: I see everything, always
Sam: ominous
Sam: Clinton have you ever watched the bachorlette
Clint: I loveeee where this is going
Sam: I think she has a little crush
Sam: we should set them up
Clint: I can already see the kids
Clint: they’ll be names Sam and Clint of course
Clint: after us
Saturday, 9:29 am
Unread
Sam: did you destroy my fucking coin master village 17 times???
Sam: Barton, your ass is grass and I’m gonna mow it
***
Dead. You promised Clint and Sam they were dead.
At first, you thought it was just a joke. Until the advancements started.
It was Thursday, the team gathering for a dinner, as they did every once in awhile. As soon as you entered the room, you saw Clint and Sam basically playing musical chairs to keep an empty seat open next to Bucky Barnes.
“Are…Are you two okay?” Steve asked, genuine fear and concern on his face.
“Totally.”
“One-hundred percent.”
“Why wouldn’t we be?”
“You’re acting weird captain.”
Steve sits, slack jawed, at a loss for a response. As you walk towards the table, your shoulders are grabbed by Clint, who is saying in a sickeningly sweet and chipper voice, “Y/n! Goodness, great to see you! Sit here! There’s a spot next to Bucky! You know Bucky! You love Bucky!”
You were a *mess* the entire dinner, unable to completely focus on anything but breathing patterns.
As the evening was coming to a close and others were dismissing themselves, you made cold hard eye contact with Clint, seated directly across from you. His hands were folded on the table like an innocent school child.
“Barton,” you said, your voice stern. “Wanna play Chinese Checkers?”
He shakes his head violently, but says, “Sam does too.”
Sam gets up from the table, so fast, his chair knocks over and silverware clatters.
You quickly jump up, chasing him down the hall. Clint follows, brandishing a phone camera, a will, and a way.
The rest of the group was frozen now, looking in bewilderment at what was going on. Or rather, their lack of knowledge of what the hell was going on?
“Anybody have input?” Tony asks after a long silence. Everyone looks equally lost.
They all look when a thud sounds in the direction your trio went.
***
Bucky and Steve are walking track to their rooms, later that evening. Steve had mission reports to do, and Bucky had thoughts to process and a diary to write in.
“So, what do you think of the new girl?” Steve pokes the bear, hoping to get a rise out of his friend.
“Hmm, oh. I dunno. She’s nice, I guess,” Bucky shrugs, and Steve’s goofy little smile grows like the grinch’s heart.
“Really? Because you look liked you were having an awful lot of thoughts tonight at dinner. And, you know, you stare at her long enough every other day…”
“Do not.”
“Do so.”
Bucky stares at Steve, unknowing of what to do in this situation. He shrugs again.
“So what?”
“So? So you should, oh, I don’t know, have a real conversation with her instead of just breathing into each others general directions. It’s nauseating having to watch Sam and Clint push you guys into the same space.”
Tonight may have been the first time you noticed, but in truth that kind thing happened in many many scenarios. Even before Clint and Sam connected that dots that you liked him.
They wanted their ship to sail.
***
“You took a shower!?” Clint says to Bucky, in a low and shocked voice. He held an incredulous look on his face, one Bucky wanted to smack right off.
“Yeah, try it sometime,” Bucky quipped.
“Y/n’s in her room,” Clint took a sip of his coffee. She has loads of paperwork. Probably will be in there all day.”
Bucky’s mouth opens and then shuts, not wanting to know why Clint was helping him. In truth, he wasn’t. Clint was helping you.
Within minutes, Bucky was outside your door, giving himself the cutest, peppiest of peptalks. Albeit, in his head because he could not handle the embarrassment of the e door opening to you seeing him babbling like a madman.
So when you did open the door, he tried flashing a warm smile. At the sight of it, you thought you would simply just faint. Right there, thud on the floor.
While your brain was debating whether you would prefer internal or external bleeding of the skull (internal, you decided, wouldn’t mess up your hair) Bucky cleared his throat.
You looked into his blinding blue eyes, the way a deer looks into headlights (meaning any minute you would get hit by the car…)
“Hi,” Bucky breathes out.
“Hi,” you say, your voice cracking.
You wanted to choke yourself out.
“I have something to tell you,” he starts. “Or- or I wanna talk to you.”
“…oh…” FUCKING CHRIST! Oh?? That was the best you had???
“Look, y/n I’ve sorta…I like you, quite a lot. And I’ve been nervous to talk to you or tell you about it, because I really don’t like opening up about my feelings. But-”
You cut him off by pouring out, “Ilikeyoutoo!”
“You- oh…Well…this wasn’t as bad as I had thought then.”
You let out an awkward chuckle, “Yeah, guess not.”
He doesn’t say anything, the two of you staring into each others eyes. He starts to lean in, his perfect face getting closer to yours. The action feels magnetic as you lean closer.
You take in his features. His brow, his chiseled jawline. The symmetrical two sides to his face, like if you took a meat clever down the center, you’d have matching halves.
Just as you can feel his breathe on your lips, right before the two of you can make contact, you both jolt apart at the sound.
Clint falls from your ceiling, Sam landing on top of him. The metal grate that filtrated the air in your room was below them, broken ceiling tiles, pink insulation and regret strewn about your flooring.
“I’m gonna kill you.”
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