#I am yours you are mine as a demon deal

[jyoongim]

Just found you and read all your Alastor fics. Love them! My request is jealous fucking with breeding. But the jealousy comes on because of Lucifer. Luci comes to visit the hotel and causally makes a sweet comment to reader but as soon as he notices that it pisses off Al, Lucifer just goes all in offer to buy readers soul and free her just to piss off Al until reader and Charlie have to break them up before they fight. Then comes in the breeding, so everyone knows your his as if him owning your soul wasn’t enough

Oh I appreciate it so much! I hope you enjoy it around these parts and I am happy you enjoy my writing!

Warnings: fem!reader, jealous!Alastor, flirting, Lucifer riling up Alastor, rough sex, breeding kink, pregnancy mentioned

The hotel was in an uproar over the King of Hell's impending visit.

Charlie was a nervous wreck and you were doing everything to make sure that the hotel was somewhat presentable and that everyone was well behaved.

”Now just be your charming self and make sure to help promote the purpose of the hotel for Charlie” you said fixing Alastor’s bow tie. He smiled down at you, waving his hand dismissively “Oh don’t worry my dear Ill be the perfect host. There’s nothing to worry about”

Lucifer Morningstar, the King of Hell…was not what you had expected.

You could see where Charlie got her flare from.

He was looking around the lobby, taking in the interior and the residents. You didn’t miss the way his face scrunched up a bit.

”And here are our lovely hotel managers dad” Charlie said, turning towards you and Alastor.

You smiled, giving him a slight curtesy “Its a pleasure to meet you, Your Majesty, I hope that you enjoy your time here at the hotel” 

Lucifer dawned a sultry smile, grabbing your hand and bringing it to his lips. Kissing it.

”The pleasure is all mine”

Alastor growled, stepping between the two of you. He gave a tense smile “Pleased to meet you sir” he slapped your hand out of his and took it to shake. Lucifer blinked, a slight frown on his face “and you would be?” A snort escaped the red demon 

“Alastor! Im the host of the hotel. Maybe you’ve heard of my radio broadcast?” Lucifer deadpanned “nah never was one to consume media” he shrugged.

He slipped by to your side, looping an arm around you “Now I’m sure you wouldn’t mind giving me a tour hmmm? Show me all of the more intimate parts” he chortled, as you nervously turned to Alastor.

Alastor's smile was tense and his eye was twitching slightly.

Irritated and annoyed.

Lucifer seemed to pick up on that.

He eyed the lanky demon, before cooing at you “oh don’t tell me you need the bellhop’s permission? ”

oh no. The lights flickered.

You cleared your throat “I would be honored your grace,but Alastor knows the hotel better than I. He can show you around” you offered, making the King groan.

Charlie chirped in “Yes yes. Alastor has been a great help. Well shall we?”

The tour went without any mishap. Alastor had you tucked away into his side as Charlie gave a run through of what she was trying to achieve.

Charlie suggested dinner before her dad left, to give him a little convincing to help.

You bustled about the kitchen, setting everyone’s meal down and making your way to sit by Alastor.

A hand grabbed your wrist, you stiffened as Lucifer gave you a charming smile “why not sit by me. Charlie has told of some of the improvements you think would work for the hotel”

You heard a static buzz as you took a seat by him.

You listened quietly as Charlie went on and on about her plans.

Lucifer had been not so subtly subtly flirting with you the entire dinner.

”Well I will think about it Charlie. I do believe your dream is possible” She smiled happily. he turned his eyes to you

”Especially with such lovely help” you blushed.

He seemed more interested in you.

”sooo what’s your deal with that guy” he was referring to Alastor

you tilted your head in question, he clarified his intention

”I mean he own your soul or something? A pretty little thing like you shouldn’t be tied to the likes of him. how about I nullify whatever deal you made and you take you under my wing instead”

You looked at him shocked.

The sound of glass breaking sounded and Alastor shook his hand of the liquid once in the glass

He chuckled darkly “Well I am afraid it is late, wouldn’t you agree dearest?” His eyes narrowed on the man as he stood, coming around to stand behind you.

His eyes were black and glowing red as he practically sneered at the King.

Lucifer was unfazed by the intimidation tactic.

”haha what I strike a nerve? You’ve got this amazing beauty on a leash and for what? Im sure shell do much better being tied to you” 

Before Alastor could lunge at the man, you stood up and pressed yourself against him as you heard Charlie grab her dad to pull him away. 

Your hands reached for his face, turning his enraged eyes to you.

You shook your head at him slightly. You know when someone wa just trying to ruffle his feathers.

”I am feeling quite tired from today’s activities why don’t we turn in for the night yes?” You pleaded with him, softly pushing him back towards to door.

Large hands gripped your waist as his turned his eyes back towards Lucifer, he hissed lowly before whisking you out of the kitchen and to your shared bedroom.

———————————————————————————

The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room.

You whined at a harsh thrust that jolted your body against the silky sheets.

The room was buzzing with static as Alastor fucked into you.

Green chains hung heavy around your collar as Alastor pulled on them to pull you into his thrusts.

He was pissed.

His usual composed and controlled demeanor slipping the moment he slammed the door.

He had taken you against the door roughly, too pent up to let you get a single word out.

He had thrown you onto the bed after, a dark aura surrounding him as his antlers grew with the angry emotions swirling inside him.

“Ah! Ha! A-Alastor!” You moaned as another orgasm racked through you.

He twisted your chains around his arm as he used them as leverage to drill his dick into you.

“Who do he think he is?” He growled, pushing your head into the mattress 

“Thinking he can just take you from me…ME?! You are mine”

You let out a cry as he ruined your walls, balls slapping against your cunt.

“You wouldn’t leave my side would you sweetheart” he hissed down at you, turning your head so you could see him.

”Who would want you after I ruin you hmm? You would be nothing but sloppy seconds.” He regraded you, angry at the very thought of you thinking you could terminate your deal with him.

Your deal with Alastor was nothing too extreme. Your complete devotion to him for his protection.

While he might not admit it, Alastor had grown accustomed to you being by his side, able to help him see reason and take on tasks he found too mundane.

You were like his wife in a sense. 

Soft and caring, always doing whatever he asked of you.

You never complained, happily fulfilling your duties to a tee.

And some goofy, short king thinks you would leave your benefactor?

Had he not given you anything you ever wanted?

You were the most free soul he had, that was a privilege.

Your cunt squelched as he pulled out, the tip kissing your outer lips as he stilled in his rough fucking.

You panted, clammy sweat sticking to your body as he tugged at your chains.

You were on your back, thighs spread around his waist.

A hand wrapped around your throat, Alastor leaning down to press a surprise soft kiss to your forehead

”You wouldn’t dare leave me would you baby” he cocked his head at you.

You shook your head quickly, hoping that he had blew off enough steam to finally be reasonable.

But Alastor’s jealousy was ugly.

He wouldn’t be done with you until there was nothing you thought about but him.

He should be what plagues your thoughts.

You should crave him by the time he was done.

He slotted back inside you, making you gasp as he returned to his fast pace.

”Leave me for that sorry excuse of a king? Ha! You wouldn’t. No not my pretty girl. Youre my good girl aren’t you?”

You mewled as you watch him transform.

”I-Im your good girl Ah! Pl-please!” Your eyes clenched closed in pleasure.

”Youre mine. You understand that? I own you. Your every thought. Every feeling. Your body, mind, and soul are mine. You gave them to me oh so happy. I can do whatever I please with you. Ruin you and dump you off into the street like a common whore if I wished”

You whimpered at his words.

”But thats not enough is it? Hmmm? Noooo. Youre not mine” he purred.

you pouted, ready to reassure him that you were, in fact, his.

He lifted one of your legs to your chest, angling his hips down

”Ill make sure every disrespectful wretch knows you are mine. Fir it seems my constant presence isn’t enough”

Your cunt fluttered.

How else would….

His dick hit that sweet spot deep inside you

”Oh! Ah!” His hand on your neck tightened as a sharp smile appeared on his face

”So maybe putting a claim to you will do the trick”

Your mouth shaped into an ‘O’ as he fucked you roughly, hips grinding down as if to make you mold to his very shape.

Sinners couldn’t reproduce.

Right?

that was your last coherent thought as he slammed his hips into yours over and over til he sighed, his dick twitching as he filled you with his cum.

You whined as he gave soft thrusts to keep his cum inside you, purring as it spilled around him, pooling around your ass.

You whined when he pulled out, hearing a soft ‘pop’ as you clenched around nothing.

A hand settled on your lower belly, now full of his cum, Alastor grinned wicked “Let’s see how much the pipsqueak will want you now my dear” he chuckled.

———————————————————————————

“Its nice to see you again sir” you said welcoming the King of Hell inside the hotel.

He smiled and once he got a good look at you, it fell.

”Charlie will be down in a second do you need anything?” You asked sweetly, hand resting on your swollen belly.

He stuttered out a response in surprise “O-oh w-why thank you. I take it you’ve been well”

Alastor manifested behind you, grinning at the short monarch, his arm roping around your waist, hand settling on the side of your stomach “Ah yes! We’ve been busy. Im sure you can tell”

Alastor- 2

Lucifer- 0

#hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #alastor #alastor the radio demon #alastor x reader #hazbin hotel fanfiction #jyoongim #alastor x y/n #alastor smut #alastor hazbin hotel

[back2bluesidex]

J-Hope Fic Recommendations (18+)

If you are already following me for quite some time then you should know that I am a massive masochist and I like to torture myself by reading and writing angsty stories. So, most of the stories that I recommended are angsty as well (might as well have sad endings). So please carefully read the warnings before proceeding. Have a happy reading.

And please don't expect much from me. There are several other rec lists far better than mine. The only motive I had behind creating this list to promote some of the stories, which I think are very underrated. especially angsty ones. These stories are beautifully written so.. I just wanted to let the authors know how phenomenal of a job they have done (As a writer myself I know how much this actually means). Thanks to these amazing writers and I am grateful that they decided to share their work here with us.

[Minors please stay away from my blog!]

Key: F - Fluff, A- Angst, S- Smut, Y- Yandere, *- Personal Favorite

Oneshots

1. Ash from his fire by @filmcrystal - A, implied S, cheating au

It will break your heart so please proceed with caution.

2. Forbidden Fruit by @deepdarkdelights - A, Y

This one deals with several triggering topics. Hence, read the warnings carefully. But I can say that you will love this twisted mafia Hoseok way too much!

3. Shadows by @borathae - A, exes au

One of the most underrated stories I have ever read! Yeah, it is very angsty and Hoseok is so cruel but... we all are masochist here. lmao!

4. Heaven sent by @aquagustd - A, F, S, f2l au

Sexy soccer player Hoseok is just another name for perfection.

5. Bound by @explicit-tae - S, kinda f2l

Talk abut BDSM! GOOOD Sweet Lord!!!

6. Jigsaw by @sunshinejunghoseokie - A *

I remembered crying after reading this one. So damn underrated that it physically hurts me!!

7. Delta Disorder by @bangtanintotheroom Y, S, Supernatural au

I don't usually read supernatural stuff but this demon Hoseok is way too sexy to skip!

8. Systems of Touch by @yeoldontknow - S, F, tiny A, S2l au

Beautifully written! The author used 100% of their capabilities to write this one. Perfectly drawn Professor Hoseok with a very attractive character of reader. Certainly a treat to read.

9. 2:00 AM by @likeastarstar - A, fuckbuddy Hoseok

Part of a series but can be read as a standalone. and Hoseok is a dick in this.

10. Love Quarrels by @mirahuyooo - A, F, mafia au

A cold yet soft mafia husband Hoseok chases behind his angry wife... could there be anything better than that?

11. The Hook Up ft. JK by @minisugakoobies - S

A little bit of a triangle.. but not love? if that makes sense.

12. Entelechy by @drmflm - suggestive (I believe)

Can't call this one angst and neither is this about Hoseok (he is there, don't worry). This one is more about the reader and her growth and it's beautiful.

13. Orgasms on the verge of a nervous breakdown by @sluttyandere - S, Y *

This is very dark and quite triggering, so please don't read unless you can handle those stuff.

14. For the night by @aseaofyoongi - A, S

I cried. that's all.

15. We Shouldn't by @beahae - S **

Hands down to one of my most favourite Hoseok smuts ever!!! This one has a Jimin follow-up so make sure to read that too.

16. Real or not real by @nmjoo-n - A, S, F **

Again one of the most exquisite Hoseok fics I have ever read!

17. Checkmate by @sunshinejoon - A, S

This was supposed to have a sequel but it is perfect regardless.

18. Do I wanna know - @yoongiphoria - A, f2? ****

Now, MJ knows how much I love this one. I often read this story and I never ever get bored of it! I love this to the core and you should too!

19. Scrap - @silv3rswirls - A, Y, S

Dark and sexy. Read the warnings carefully please.

20. It's a Promise by @sahmfanficbts - S, A, Arranged marriage au

Just read it.

21. Three by @hamsterclaw - S

Again.. VERY UNDERRATED!

22. Wonderwall by @kiara-ish - A with an open ending

Might not be for the faint hearted.

23. Infatuated by @bangtanfancamp - F

If you like high school love au then this one is for you.

24. Constellations of You by @persphonesorchid - S, F, established relationship au

This is so domestic that my heart almost exploded while reading!!

25. Burning flames or paradise by @/yoongiphoria - A, tiny f ****

MJ does magic.... that's all I can say.

26. Alone again by @archivedkookie - A, F

I loooove these kinds of stories. Just the right amount of despair with the right amount of hope... beautiful.

27. Feeling Good by @bonvoyagenoona - A, S

Everything I write about this will fall short.. so I will just shut up and let you enjoy the goodness.

28. Distracted by @dilfhoseokie - S

Ahem..

29. Drink Champaign in my airplane by @/bangtanintotheroom - F, S, F2l

Perfectly embodies a rich hot CEO friend Hoseok... a fun read.

30. Keynote by @missgeniality - S **********

MY MOST FAVORITE HOSEOK ONESHOT TO EXIST IN THE PLANET. yeah.. (this has a follow-up but I like this one better)

Series

The thing is that I don't usually read series. I just don't have that patience. So this list is pretty small and forgive me for that.

1. Transference by @dark-muse-iris - A, S, F, S2l *********************

[Completed]

I wasn't the same after reading this. I can't talk about this trantric therapist Hoseok, 'cause I will never shut up if I start.

2. Kanalia by @xjoonchildx - A, S, f (?) *********************

[Ongoing]

Honestly, who isn't a sucker for Lord Jung? You must be sick if you are not. (On a side note.. Kanalia is keeping me alive from jumping off trains on tough days)

3. Guarded by @/xjoonchildx - A, S, F, S2l

[Completed]

Mafia Hoseok with dogtags. I think that's enough of an introduction.

If you want to read the Hoseok stories I write, you can checkout my Masterlist.

#bts smut #hoseok smut #bts angst #hoseok angst #bts x reader #hoseok x reader #bts fluff #hoseok fluff #bts yandere #jhope angst #jhope smut #jhope fluff #bts fic recs #bts fanfictions #fanfiction recommendation #jhope fic recs #bts fanfiction #bts #bts jhope #bts oneshot #bts series

[titan-senpai]

Hiii I was wondering if you could do Valentino x reader, where someone is getting a little bit too close to Valentino for readers liking so when he's busy doing something else reader deals with that demon. Have a good day

[Hello! Thank you for requesting! i loved your idea. I hope you have a good day too anon!]

[Warning: Alchohol, Blood, Smoking, Toxic relationship]

A night out with your mans goes horribly wrong as your seeing red.

Stepping out the car Valentino holding the door open, " You look marvelous my dear." He smiled as cameras flashed around us.

I stood up wearing a skin tight black dress with white leather straps around my chest, a fur coat that matches Valentino's white coat with hearts, black christian Louboutin heels. "Thank you dear" I smiled as my lips now covered in a dark red shade curled upwards, as Valentino led us inside his Club.

Walking to our reserved seats as he sat down I put my coat down as I sat next to him crossing my legs smiling as he lit a cigarette to smoke. "Welcome Valentino, Anything i can start you guys with?" A bartender wearing a uniform asked us. "We'll do the usual '' He exhaled putting his hands around my waist.

I decided to stand up " Where are you going doll?" He asked as i looked at him. "Nowhere" i smiled as i sat on his lap " Thats what i thought" He inhaled another puff as he forced my lips onto his exhaling his smoke into me passionately making out right there.

FInally i caught my breath smiling as I kissed his cheek leaving a dark red kiss mark. " You're mine." I smiled at the mark on his cheek. "And you're mine." He puts his hands on my thighs.

" Here are your drinks" The bartender came back, placing 2 pink drinks with a passion fruit on the glass. " I'm going to the bathroom" I said , kissing his cheek again, standing up fixing my dress as I blew a kiss and walked to the bathroom.

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Before I walked out the bathroom I sprayed his favorite perfume pushing the door open to see a girl sitting next to him with her hands on my man. I stood there waiting to see how it would end. She took a look at my drink and drank it with her pink lipstick now on it. My eyes were seeing red. I stormed there smiling politely " Hi, can i speak to you for a second ma'am " I smiled so innocently "of course dear." the blonde woman stood up drunk from one drink. " I'll be right back dear." I waved to Valentino as I led her to the backroom of the club.

closing the door shut. "What did you wa-" before she could finish her sentence I slapped her with my purse " You desperate piece of shit" I gave her a fist to her face smudging her pink lipstick " You are really a desperate cock whore aren't you. "I grabbed her by her neck pushing her against the brick wall. '' Do you even know who I even am." My pupils turn red and my hair flies up, the blonde bimbo starts choking.

As I came to my senses I didn't want to kill her. I wanted to make her suffer. "Do you know who i am" I asked again letting go of her throat throwing her to the floor. "I don't know- I'm sorry" she cried as she tried to crawl away.

" I am Y/N His motherfucking Girlfriend if you come near him ever again." I walked towards her, my heels clanking on the stone floor. i Bent down, lighting a cigarette exhaling in her face. " You won't see another day." I looked at her with a toothy grin, scaring her away. as i stood up kicking her in the face one more time. Breaking her nose.

" You better run bitch" I turned around to the door again walking inside not wanting to deal with this mess, fixing myself as I walked to Valentino " welcome back doll..." He smiled as he patted the seat next to him, I sat on his lap instead looking for comfort. " You wont leave me right?" I leaned into his neck inhaling his cologne as he held me tight " No doll, I won't leave you" He smiled as he saw the blood on my heels.

grabbing a tissue as he wiped the blood off my heels "You made a mess didn't you?" He asked as he kept cleaning them. I nodded in his neck as I couldn't face him. " That's my girl" He held me closer to him as I whispered into his ears. " You know.. all this got me horny tonight." I smiled running my hand across his chest and to his stomach. "Let's go shall we." he said holding me in his arms as he walked outside.

"Let's go home, my doll..." 

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#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin x reader #hazbin hotel x you #hazbin hotel valentino #valentino #valentino x reader #hazbin hotel valentino x reader #x reader #helluva boss #helluva boss x reader

[lawsbbygirl]

DEE'S YUMMY LULAWLU FIC RECS

Compiled in this post you'll find all of my favorite LuLawLu fics! Enjoy your reading and make sure to leave kudos/comments on the fics you enjoyed <3 The fics are listed in no particular order other than Completed vs Ongoing. I will update this list as I find more fics that I enjoy, also to add some that I've probably forgotten.

Completed works:

when we go, we go together. by happychi 3,694 words, M "When Law dies, he spends an eternity searching for forgiveness. It was the first time anyone had smiled at him in over a century." Beautifully written fic where Law is cursed with being a reaper. This fic made me cry, it's absolutely gorgeous and bittersweet. The "D" stands for Daddy by bokkuroo 9,033 words, E Bonney uses her powers to age Luffy up, and Law starts gay-panicking! I am insanely weak for dilf!Luffy and this fic hit all the right spots with the delicious smutty goodness. A new favorite of mine!

Fanservice. by Mil0o2 23,169 words, E Law gets a new neighbor who happens to be his favorite dom pornstar "PirateKing56". Incredibly hot BDSM smut and I love the way this author writes both Law and Luffy. Delicious fic, definitely a favorite of mine.'

Keep You Safe by Rei_the_Rat 7,904 words, E "A favor and a threat that could destroy everything they hold dear, bring Law and Luffy a new opportunity to face unspoken feelings from a previous encounter." LuLaw Demon AU! This fic is gorgeous and the ambience is fantastic. Definitely a classic and a must-read!

carve your name (eat you like crème brûlée) by Trashgalore 11,556 words, E Luffy is insatiable and Law has to deal with it. PWP! Check the tags for potential CW!

Slipping Through My Fingers by Camafeu 8,525 words, E Luffy takes care of Law and eats him out. Porn with feelings! Pride is Before the Fall by Heart_Core 2,232 words, E "Law’s pent up from all the stress of traveling with the straw hats. When Luffy offers to help, how can he refuse?" Super yummy PWP by one of my favorite LuLaw authors! Seashell Lovers by cosmicatta 2,020 words, E "Law is learning to be free. Luffy helps him." This fic is so beautiful and soft and I'm smitten with how gentle and understanding Luffy is in it. Definitely a must-read!

Inhuman Potential by sydneyxface 82,094 words, E Exciting thriller featuring vampire!Luffy and pathologist!Law! Bloodplay ensues. Check tags for CW! My Heart Is Still Beating (But I Lost It Long Ago) by betsib 27,097 words, E Post Apocalyptic AU! "Law is travelling alone between quarantine zones when he comes across a young man with three bullets in his torso and an unflinching look in is eyes." Extremely well written and thrilling fic. Read tags for CWs! feel the rythm in my chest by shishiswordsman 9,140 words, Gen Bodyswap AU! "Law and Luffy decide to swap hearts for a moment. They end up swapping much more than that." I love this fic so much, it's funny, has angst AND fluff!

Ashes of Life by chenziee 10,248 words, T Canon Compliant series filled with Hurt/Comfort and lots of fluff where we follow the two captains relationship from Zou until Wano. Beautiful!

melting into you by adore_yuu 9,873 words, E Luffy discovers fanfiction and Law has to deal with it. Gorgeous and delicious one-shot!

Curiouser by xairylle 10,125 words, E Luffy asks Law to read him to him while he fucks him. Law complies reluctantly. Smutty goodness with great dialogue!

Stow Away Captains by xairylle 1,884 words, M Zoro POV. Law sneaks into the men's quarters on the Sunny and Zoro doesn't know how to deal with it. Awkward and funny as hell!

lowkey by gentoopengwyn 6,350 words, T Fluffy and hilarious Modern AU where doctor!Law has a secret husband who turns out to be Luffy.

more than a physical attraction (it's a passion) by gentoopengwyn 11,517 words, M Luffy simps for Law! Fluffy goodness.

I Could If I Wanted To by dunkinicedcoffeebeverage 5,615 words, E Law can't lie due to unforeseen circumstances and Luffy shows up! Smut and fluff. promises under the rising sun by Yakarmi 3,736 words, T "Luffy promises Law freedom." Canon compliant one-shot set on Zou. So sweet and soft!

quote, liquid courage, unquote by naturecalls111 7,475 words, E Law consumes aphrodisiac and Luffy kindly helps him with his problem. Smutty goodness.

Trials and Titillations by Callunar 42,796 words, E Luffy eats a mystery fruit and grows tits. Jealousy and misunderstandings ensue.

cough it out, loverboy by frogsterz 4,029 words, Gen Law comes back from Punk Hazard with a mating bite. Who could the mysterious alpha be that gave him the mark? Fun and cute omegaverse AU!

Saline by pbjnotes 19,321 words, M Modern AU with organized crime! Law is a doctor and has been terrorized by Doflamingo for many years, enter Luffy!

Aurum by bimarian 13,177 words, Gen Soulmate AU where Luffy learns about colors and the feelings they represent for him. Beautiful and soft.

Find Our Place in the Sky by lampalot7 4,615 words, T "Luffy is the Sun, Law is the Moon, and an eclipse brings them together." Beautiful and soft Moon/Sun God AU.

Modern Medicine Didn’t Prepare Me For Transmigration by betsib 17,018 words, T Isekai AU! Law gets transported into the world of the fantasy romance novel he's reading and adventures ensue!

Hook, line and sinker. by Mil0o2 1,323 words, E "Law is drunk and horny and makes sure Luffy knows exactly that." Service top Luffy PWP!

As Warm as the Sunlight by Camafeu 6,160 words, E Modern AU Porn with Feelings! Luffy finally gets to put marks on Law.

How To Top A Cop by initforthelolz 5,895 words, E Luffy is caught speeding and tries to convince the cop pulling him over to forget his crime with questionable means. PWP!

House Call by ZuviosGemini 4,854 words, Gen Sick Fic Modern AU! Law nurses Luffy back to health. Very sweet and fluffy comfort fic.

Meet Me in the Drift by riverofnara 28,460 words, T Pacific Rim/One Piece fusion! Luffy tries to convince Law to become his Jaeger co-pilot.

Shoot Me with a Smile by OliveGardenSafeSpace 42,161 words, M Mafia AU! Law is a mafia family boss and rescues Luffy during a heist gone wrong.

A Shiver of Pleasure by Camafeu 6,805 words, E Modern AU! Porn with Feelings and fluffy blankets.

i think she might be robbing (she can take what she wants) by Trashgalore 13,821 words, E Fem!LuLaw! Everyone is genderswapped in this roomate to lovers story. Fluffy and smutty!

The Straw Hat and Heart Pirates 'Alliance' by KivaEmber 6,706 words, Gen Smoker cockblocks Luffy and Law and hilarious situations happen in this series. Fluff and humor!

What Feelings? by Brewit 2,680 words, E Law is the last one to learn that him and Luffy are in a relationship. A story about how their relationships evolved! Fluff and a bit of smut.

You Don’t Love Me by xairylle 2,312 words, T Hurt/Comfort. Law has forgotten how to be honest.

A Summoner's Worst Nightmare by cringewerewolf 34,199 words, T "Law summons a demon to help him take down a crime lord. It all goes downhill from there." Hilarious AU where Law summons demon!Luffy!

Two Sinners' Conversation by bimarian 7,599 words, M "In which Luffy and Law redefine what a conversation is on their wedding night." This is technically part of a series, but this can be read as a stand-alone one shot. Fluff and smut!

Sick Heart by Cel0x 7,427 words, E Law and Luffy had been apart, missing each other deeply, and they have a delicious reunion. Porn with Feelings!

The Morning Comes Early by Alte 7,813 words, E "Law finds a new way to get a good night’s rest after forming an alliance with the Straw Hat Pirates." Very sweet and one of my comfort fics! Not a Ball or a Chain by HollowIsTheWorld 79,341 words, T Modern Soulmate AU! Asexual Luffy, Demisexual Law. Law grows up hoping he'd never develop a soulmark and tries to avoid meeting his soulmate.

the sea throws rocks together by manhattanvalleys 2,072 words, E Future Fic. Porn with feelings. I would recommend reading the three fics from this author in order. This one first, then the two below.

(but time leaves us polished stones) by manhattanvalleys 3,133 words, E Future Fic. Porn with feelings.

something that you might perhaps forgot to say by manhattanvalleys 4,391 words, E Future Fic PWP. Gorgeously written and a fic I can re-read over and over again.

Bloodied Knuckles by bimarian 9,099 words, E Flower Shop and Tattoo Parlor AU! Porn with Plot. "In which Law saw Luffy punching the life out of his rude customer—and decided right then and there that his ass was getting laid tonight." Dark Luffy, and Law's into it. Read tags for CW!

what the ocean gives by betsib 5,570 words, T Merman!Luffy gets saved by doctor!Law! This fic has a special place in my heart, it's very cute and funny.

To Call Myself Beloved by purplehairedwonder 13,202 words, T Luffy tries to get Law to marry him, and Law tells Luffy he'll have to catch him first. Betrothal Chase AU!

Give Me A Reason by betsib 6,400 words, M Band AU! Law does a cover of the Straw Hats' new single and it gets recorded in secret by Shachi and it goes viral, the attention eventually reaching Luffy who is intrigued by Law. Then they meet!

A Different Type of Hunger by karategal 25,111 words, E Luffy is King of the Pirates and he's "hungry for Torao". A game of cat and mouse begins. Funny and smutty!

Burning by vantrums 8,245 words, E Omegaverse PWP. Law is in heat and Luffy conveniently makes an appearance to help him out. One of my favorite PWPs!

Nothing compares by JustPassingBy19 4,261 words, E "Law and Luffy reunite after a long time away from each other's arms." Dilf!Luffy!!! Porn with Feelings!

combustion by Anonymous 3,799 words, E "Law pines and gets railed, both in and not in that order." Smut with a touch of angst!

Make Me Feel Good by sydneyxface 21,529 words, E Law seeks the help of Luffy, a professional cuddler, to help him get through university. Angst with a happy ending! This is one of my comfort fics and a favorite of mine.

Let's do It! by KhonekoChan 4,659 words, E Law and Luffy enjoy some sexcapades after the liberation of Wano. Smutty goodness.

find me in the shell's whisper by Deleted Account 5,441 words, M Law and Luffy run into each other on an island and Law pines.

Safe and Sound by All_My_Characters_Are_Dead 15,726 words, M Law gets taken hostage and Luffy is on a mission to rescue him. A lot of hurt/comfort with a lot of hurt before the comfort. Practicality is Useless Around Here by Ghosty_Bee 28,248 words, T Modern AU with magic! "Law's luck runs out when a series of events forces him to open his eyes to a world completely different from his own, full of magic, monsters, and danger. Luckily, or maybe not, he's found a crew of seers to help him out." This fic has fantastic world building and is a thrilling ride! Tell Me That You Love Me (I’ll Never Ask You Why) by Itycos 3,557 words, T "After Wano in a nameless port-town two captains reunite. Not all alliances are the same." Very sweet and beautiful fic about the two captain's finding something in each other they didn't quite expect. Like Sails on the Breeze by HollowIsTheWorld 5,115 words, Gen Corazon Lives AU. Luffy kisses Law and then he leaves. What's next for them? Bittersweet and fluffy in the end!

between you and i (the throths, the tide) by shishiswordsman 20,630 words, E ARRANGED MARRIAGE AU! Law is set to marry the future king of Dawn. Luffy is certainly not what Law expected.

What Is This Thing You Call An Alliance? by cywscross 13,701 words, T Eustass Kidd observes Law and Luffy after the fall of Kaido. Introspection, light angst and fluff!

and all the things that keep us here by qunlat 9,323 words, Gen Law gets a second chance. "(Or: the one where they get married, in secret, at someone else's wedding, and make Usopp late to his.)" Law and Luffy elope!

My Love For You Is Choking Me by ObsidionWingsofMidnight 56,880 words, T Hanahaki disease AU! Very angsty with eventual happy ending.

the white city by tciddaemina 32,328 words, Gen, M "Nika/Sun God!Luffy AU, set during the genocide in Flevance." Very interesting and beautifully written series. Total Eclipse of the Heart by Aspiring_Trashpanda 33,401 words, M "Luffy almost dies, makes a deal with a god, and falls in love. Law's along for the ride." Slow burn-y goodness!

Keep This Close To Our Hearts, Love by riverofnara 3,884 words, T Modern AU! Luffy's prank on Law says everything he hasn't been able to put into words. Fluffy!

sol ex machina by Almageist 3,757 words, Gen Angel AU! I don't want to say too much about this one as I believe it's best experienced going in blindly. One of my faves!

Meat Cute by marimoes 66,823 words, T Modern AU! Law has a literal run in with Luffy's dog "Meat" and they have a meet cute! Long fic with all of your favorite tropes!

king of my heart by frogsterz 7,411 words, E "The AU where rookie Trafalgar Law and the Pirate King walk into a tavern. Things only get better from there." The summary says all you need to know. One of my favorite LuLaw fics EVER.

Sabishigari-ya by Alexgrand 15,943 words, M Modern AU. "Law finds a website where he becomes infatuated with a user named Mugiwara22."

Who, Me? My Hand? by dunkinicedcoffeebeverage 8,903 words, M "5 times Luffy holds Law's hand, 1 time Law holds Luffy's." A getting together fic filled with fluff and beautiful moments between the two captains. The art accompanying this fic is also gorgeous!

Luffy's Law by JadedCoral 32,630 words, Gen Modern AU where Law starts a rumor about himself and hilarities ensue. This fic made me cackle out loud, it's so funny and sweet!

as I hold your hollow heart by betsib 24,962 words, M Soulswap AU! "...Law wakes up in Dressrosa, with Doflamingo's symbol tattooed on his chest and servants calling him "Corazon". Very interesting AU that I loved reading, many twists and turns and suspense!

Grand Line Carnival by Bubblegumbeech 24,140 words, T Modern AU with horror themes. "Law doesn't want to go to a carnival ever again, but his crew doesn't know that and they insist that he has been spending far too much time in the hospital.." Spooky things happen and Luffy and the Straw Hats are unintentionally creepy!

Ongoing works:

from us, to the rain by toricola 10,835 words, E Modern AU LawLu. One of the most beautifully written fics I've come across so far. The characterization of Law is one of the best I've ever read, and I am dying to read more from this author. If you want to feel, definitely don't skip this one!

white elephant gift exchange by happychi 15,184 words, M "Law’s troublesome coworkers are on thin ice after gifting him a male escort for his Christmas vacation. Now he’s snowed in with a complete stranger for an entire weekend." Things aren't as they seem in this Modern AU. The author's portrayal of Law in this is on of my absolute favorites. Excited to read more of this!

Critical Fire Weather Pattern by lettersinpetals 7,787 words, M Journalist AU! Law is an editor at One Piece News, and Luffy is the newly appointed weatherman. A super fresh and unique AU that I immediately fell in love with!

The Beast of Buckden by Callunar 11,537 words, E "Law has moved to a sleepy little countryside village. The people of the village warned him not to go out on the night of the blood moon, but he finds himself lost in the woods anyway." Werewolf!Luffy AU that has quickly become one of my favorite LuLaw fics. Read tags for CW!

The Pirate King's Treasure by Callunar 64,842 words, E Another fantastic work by Callunar, this time it's PWP! Luffy becomes interested in Law after a heated argument. Extremely smutty and kinky.

Broken Heart Syndrome by Callunar 115,597 words, E Surgeon!Law and boxer!Luffy. AND THEY WERE NEIGHBORS. Slow burn!!!! Another one of my favorite chaptered fics.

Chasing the Sun by illusiverose 174,160 words, E Another one of my favorites! Modern AU Surgeon!Law and Firefighter!Luffy. Law has dark secrets but becomes enamored with Luffy, the embodiment of sunshine. Exciting plot with a slice of Mafia!

Red and Yellow by BewitchingDemon 20,214 words, M Pokemon Fusion AU! A true joy to read this fic. Strangers to lovers with a lot of awkwardness and slow burn. One of my favorites!

(We Would Never) Break the Chain by cosmicatta 15,507 words, M A Modern AU set in the 70s-80s where you get to see Law and Luffy grow from childhood friends into something more, with a lot of pining and angst in between. A beautifully written fic.

Haze by initforthelolz 56,381 words, M Fantasy AU with dystopian themes with fantastic world building and intrigue.

Godslayer by initforthelolz 19,611 words, M Fantasy AU where Law is a Godslayer and his purpose is to defeat one of the god's that terrorized the world. Things don't go as planned. Incredibly well-written fic with solid world building and a plot that draws you in instantly.

for a wilted rose not yet withered by ame_kko 45,682 words, T Ancient Greek Gods AU! A strangers to lovers fic with Luffy as Persephone, God of Spring and Law as Hades, God of the Underworld. An all time favorite for me!

Hearts Spring Eternal by riverofnara 34,386 words, E Law performs the Perennial Youth Surgery on Luffy out of desperation, but Law somehow survives. Angst and complications happen.

In the Sultry Summer Calm by Alte 15,563 words, M Omegaverse Flower Shop AU! Two of my favorite things combined. "After the loss of his adoptive father, omega Trafalgar Law is forced to give up on his dream to become a surgeon in favor of taking over his father’s flower shop." Very sweet and I can't wait for this to be updated!

In the Night by TheeGirlWonder 8,273 words, M Fantasy AU! Vampires, werewolves and witches! Law is a vampire and helps werewolf!Luffy escape Doflamingo's clutches after being captured.

Saint Peter's Keys by Aspiring_TrashPanda 52,560 words, E Modern AND Canon Div AU! A story involving parallel universes with a fantastically written story. Slow burn!

It Was Always Blood With You by initforthelolz 14,970 words, E Vampire!Law AU! "Luffy finds a vampire on the side of the road and decides to bring him home... against better judgement that he does not possess." I immediately fell in love with this fic, the summary says it all!

The Night Is Darkening Round Me by purplehairedwonder 17,415 words, M Haunted House AU! Law buys a haunted house and who are you gonna call? The Straw Hat Paranormal Group of course! "Nothing is ever what it seems, and Law is haunted by more than just spirits in his new house."

The Compounding Impact of Time by salient17 14,889 words, M Time Travel AU! "It didn't matter where, or when, because Luffy would find him--time and time again." Luffy is lost in time, will he find his way back?

The Years We’ve Lost by Heart_Core 24,618 words, M Time Travel AU! "In the middle of the War on Onigashima, Law wakes up to find himself 19 years into the future. Luffy had long defeated Kaido, believing Law to have died in the war." Love this fic and can't wait for an update. Can never go wrong with dilf!Luffy either.

At the Heart of Worship by Heart_Core 8,014 words, E Sun God Luffy AU! Luffy has had his attention captured by Law.

always too much (never enough) by Jien_o 21,303 words, E Modern AU cockwarming fic of my dreams. This fic has me in a chokehold. CRAZY good!

within & without by Jien_o 68,686 words, E Arranged Marriage AU! LawLu. Enemies to lovers-esque type story, where both Law and Luffy are very flawed and many misunderstandings ensue.

The Omegaverse Clothing Exchange Service by bananabunch 8,162 words, E Super cute A/B/O fic with a really unique plot! I love this fic so far and can't wait to read more.

As Sunflowers Do by martilla 95,283 words, E Modern AU! Luffy is in an accident and gets amnesia and forgets all about his relationship with Law. A lot of angst and heartbreak with an eventual happy ending.

#lawlu #lulaw #lulawlu #luffy x law #law x luffy #fic recs #one piece #truffy #lawlulaw #fanfiction #one piece fanfiction

[theemissuniverse]

NOOB SAIBOT AND VILLAIN!FEM!READER HATING ON MORTAL KOMBAT 11 CHARACTERS

SUMMARY : just what the title says. You are a powerful sorcerer from Earthrealm. You’re Bi-Han’s consort

WARNINGS : some is suggestive

MASTERLIST 1 , MASTERLIST 2

(Y/N) VS NOOB SAIBOT

Noob Saibot : You have a strange taste in allies

(Y/N) : Cassie is cool, Bi-Han. I’m not completely stone

Noob Saibot : I will never like a Cage

(Y/N) : People say you changed me

Noob Saibot : I made you stronger

(Y/N) : And for that I am bound to you

Noob Saibot : I’ve always known you were a great warrior

(Y/N) : Was it when I beat you at the tournament?

Noob Saibot : That is when I fell in love with you

Noob Saibot : A shadow feels nothing

(Y/N) : So you say

Noob Saibot : But for you - it is different

(Y/N) : You might have some competition, Bi-Han

Noob Saibot : I am not worried of a failed Empress

(Y/N) : I love a man so assured with himself

(Y/N) : You are the only one to see my potential

Noob Saibot : You were worthy of my teachings

(Y/N) : And I will forever be in debt to you

Noob Saibot : Raiden was a fool for not seeing you excel

(Y/N) : His foolishness led me to you

Noob Saibot : I should thank him

(Y/N) : That demon is getting on my nerves

Noob Saibot : There is no reason for jealousy - I care not for her

(Y/N) : Sareena’s soul will be mine

(Y/N) : Kuai Liang mourns you

Noob Saibot : He is wasting his time

(Y/N) : I agree. I like this you better

Noob Saibot : Shao Kahn refers to me as your concubine

(Y/N) : *laughs* You love it

Noob Saibot : Yes. Very much so

(Y/N) VS MK CHARACTERS

Cassie Cage : You and Bi-Han remind me of Morticia and Gomez Addams

(Y/N) : Who?

Cassie Cage : How do you not know them?!

(Y/N) : I’ll have my lover deal with you

Jax : Didn’t Scorpion toast him?

(Y/N) : Didn’t Ermac rip off your arms?

Raiden : I told you that following in line with Bi-Han was trouble

(Y/N) : You are just mad that I am not a lap dog like Liu Kang

Raiden : It saddens me to see you like this

Johnny Cage : (Y/N) and Bi-Han sitting in a tree-

(Y/N) : I will burn your tree to the ground.

Johnny Cage : Sheesh. Tough crowd.

Liu Kang : You were the best female warrior in Earthrealm

(Y/N) : Such a pity that all the women you know are next to nothing

Liu Kang : It is a shame to see what you’ve become

Kabal : You and Bi-Han freak me out

(Y/N) : I’ll do more than freak you out

Kabal : You two are a match made in hell

(Y/N) : I hate bugs

D’vorah : This one does not care for your hate

(Y/N) : The realms will cheer in pride when I exterminate you

Sub-Zero : You and my brother are not suppose to be together

(Y/N) : You share blood. You are not brothers

Sub-Zero : He made you as cold as ice

(Y/N) : Your ancestors mock you

Kung Lao : I don’t need you of all people telling me that

(Y/N) : They beg me to release them from their pain

Shao Kahn : I am quite surprised to see you turn out like this

(Y/N) : I was not surprised to see Kitana become Kahn

Shao Kahn : All you and Bi-Han do is talk

Sindel : I’ve never been attracted to such power before

(Y/N) : You are not my type, Empress

Sindel : That shadow has you wrapped around its finger

(Y/N) : You murdered my lover

Scorpion : I was deceived by Quan Chi

(Y/N) : You’ll be pleading for your life as your wife did

NOOB SAIBOT VS MK CHARACTERS

Cassie Cage : You and (Y/N) make the cutest freak show

Noob Saibot : I will never understand why (Y/N) likes you

Cassie Cage : Because I am the greatest!

Kano : Where’s your girlfriend?

Noob Saibot : My consort pays no mind to you

Kano : Damn. How’d you know I was thinking bout her?

Johnny Cage : There’s no way (Y/N) chose that

Noob Saibot : I cannot believe you procreate

Johnny Cage : Says you and everyone else, former frosty

Noob Saibot : You crave for (Y/N)’s touch

Sindel : I crave her power

Noob Saibot : Only I hold all her power

Noob Saibot : You never appreciated (Y/N)’s gift

Raiden : I did not want her to become the villain she was destined to be in previous timelines

Noob Saibot : You only pushed her closer to me

Liu Kang : You corrupted (Y/N)s soul!

Noob Saibot : You were not a man and did not confront the feelings you had for her

Liu Kang : Who told you this?!

Noob Saibot : Your mother greets you from beyond the grave

Jacqui Briggs : I’ll finish you. Then your little girlfriend

Noob Saibot : You are no match for (Y/N). Do not embarrass yourself

Scorpion : Your lover wants to avenge you and kill me

Noob Saibot : Such a shame your wife can’t do the same for you

Scorpion : Now, I will kill you

Kabal : So do you and your shadow thing tag team (Y/N) or-

Noob Saibot : I’d worry about your lungs giving out

Kabal : Jeez. It was just a question

Noob Saibot : Challenging (Y/N) is a mistake

Sub-Zero : To get to you, I must get to her

Noob Saibot : She will greet you with death

MK CHARACTERS MENTIONING YOU AND NOOB SAIBOT

Kung Lao : So you really did have feelings for (Y/N)?

Liu Kang : It is a thing of the past

Kung Lao : I don’t know if she downgraded or upgraded

Sonya Blade : (Y/N) is not your friend, Cassie!

Cassie Cage : I know she’s one of the bad guys but she makes great smoothies!

Sonya Blade : Why do I even bother?

Liu Kang : History would be different if you didn’t doubt (Y/N)

Raiden : It is a mistake I think about often

Liu Kang : Not often enough

Scorpion : (Y/N) will stop at nothing to get her revenge

Sub-Zero : Rage is an emotion you two share

Scorpion : Her rage has grown too powerful

#mortal kombat #mortal kombat x reader #mk #mk11 #mk 11 #mortal kombat 11 #mortal kombat 11 x reader #noob saibot #noob saibot x reader #cassie cage #mk jax #mk raiden #johnny cage #liu kang #mk kabal #dvorah #mk sub zero #mk bi han #kung lao #raiden #shao kahn #mk sindel #mk scorpion #mk Kano #Jacqui Briggs #sonya blade #mk x reader #mk11 x reader

[myfavoritesstuff]

No Regrets

Pairing: Alastor x Reader

Prompt: Alastor making the wrong deal.

Warning(s): Manipulation

Note: Alastor never made a deal with Lilith in this.

Word count: 634

In the sprawling depths of the hellish realm, where darkness reigned supreme, there stood Alastor, the infamous Radio Demon. With his charismatic smile and sinister charm, he ruled over the damned souls with an iron grip. Yet, amidst the cacophony of screams and tormented wails, there was an emptiness in his heart—a void that no amount of power or control could fill.

One fateful night, as the crimson moon hung low in the sky, Alastor’s path crossed with yours. You, a lowly demon caught in the throes of hell, caught his attention like no other. Your defiance against the horrors of the underworld intrigued him, and soon enough, he found himself captivated by your spirit.

As days turned into nights, and nights into eternities, Alastor found himself falling deeply, hopelessly in love with you. He watched from the shadows as you navigated the dangers of hell, your strength and resilience shining like a beacon in the darkness.

One evening, as the flames of hell danced around you, Alastor approached with a proposition that would bind your souls together for eternity. “My dear,” he purred, his voice a melody of temptation, “let us give our souls to each other, completing the experience of love in its truest form.”

You, caught in the throes of love and longing, gazed into his crimson eyes and nodded, the fire of determination burning bright within you.

With a flourish of his hand, Alastor offered his soul to you, a swirling mass of darkness and power. The moment it touched your being, a rush of exhilaration swept through you, and a sinister smile tugged at your lips.

Alastor’s heart skipped a beat as he noticed the change in your demeanor, a flicker of fear mingling with the love that still burned fiercely within him.

“My sweet Alastor,” you whispered, your voice laced with newfound power, “from this moment forth, you are mine.”

With those words, you held his soul in your grasp, twisting and molding it to your will. Alastor, bound by love and now by your command, could do nothing but obey.

Yet, even as you held him under your control, Alastor’s love for you burned brighter than ever before. He danced to your tune, a willing puppet in your hands, his heart singing with a love that knew no bounds.

As the days turned to weeks and weeks to months, the bond between Alastor and the reader grew ever stronger, though it was now a twisted, dark thread that bound them together. Alastor, once the feared and powerful Radio Demon, now found himself at the mercy of the reader’s every whim.

Under the reader’s command, Alastor used his powers to wreak havoc upon the denizens of hell, his once cheerful demeanor now twisted into a sinister grin. Yet, through it all, his love for the reader remained unyielding, a constant flame burning in the darkness of his soul.

The reader, now possessed of Alastor’s soul, reveled in their newfound power. They commanded legions of demons and tormented souls, their laughter echoing through the halls of hell. Yet, instead of regret or sadness, the reader felt a surge of euphoria at the power they now held.

One night, as the crimson moon hung low in the sky, the reader found themselves alone with Alastor in the depths of their shared domain. The air crackled with tension as they stood face to face, the weight of their twisted love hanging heavy between them.

“Alastor,” the reader whispered, their voice a haunting melody in the darkness, “do you regret giving me your soul?”

Alastor’s eyes, once filled with love and adoration, now held a glimmer of sadness. “Never, my dear,” he replied, his voice a soft murmur. “Though I am now bound to your will, my love for you remains unchanged.”

#hazbin hotel x reader #alastor x reader #alastor #alastor the radio demon #hazbin hotel

[chaoticace2005]

Why Valentino needs to chill the fuck out (AKA a list of complaints on the pissbaby):

(By Velvette, the only one here with a braincell)

(Her list for Vox (to stop obsessing over Alastor) here)

1. I can’t stop you from being a dick to your employees but STOP RIPPING UP MINE

2. Can you keep your obsession with Angel Dust in the studio? Bringing him up elsewhere makes Vox think he can bitch about Alastor and I don’t need anymore of that.

3. Bringing up the Radio Demon to win an argument just makes everyone suffer.

4. I know therapy is a lost cause with you but seriously?

5. Figure out whatever the fuck you and Vox have going on. You’re not dating but you have Radio Demon- related foreplay and Vox gets jealous whenever you bring up “Angelcakes.”

6. I’ll blow my brains out if I hear the name “Angelcakes” again.

7. I don’t want to keep replacing lights after you run into them head first

8. I don’t want to keep having to spend money buying mothballs so you won’t eat my clothes.

9. When you get pissed you get horny, and I’d prefer if you didn’t fuck anyone on the kitchen counter.

10. Or my closet

11. Can you stop crying about the fact I have (gorgeous) hair and you don’t? Not my fault your head looks like an egg

12. Also weird pheromones? Can you keep that stuff inside you until we need to make more Love Potions? The whole place stinks

13. Your rage bedazzling has begun to get out of hand. I took a shower and rhinestones came out of the tap.

14. STOP FIRING BEDAZZLED (OR ANY) GUN INTO WALLS. AND STOP SAYING ITS FINE BECAUSE YOU LIKE HOLES.

15. Chasing down your employee who is staying with the PRINCESS AND KING of HELL isn’t the best idea.

16. Also, again, Radio Demon. And he may be an ancient prick but Vox is so insufferable.

17. Seriously if anyone gets to kill you it’s me. And since I can’t nobody can.

18. We keep having to replace phones because of your tantrums.

19. And employees

20. And TV screens for Vox

21. When you get angry you put things in the top shelves which is really a dick move.

22. At this point I’m starting to worry if you’ll take the name “pissbaby” seriously given your recent fixation and I do NOT want to deal with that.

23. I know tormenting employees can be fun, but also Angel Dust gets us a lot of money. And if he finds a way to opt out then I’m making sure the financial loss comes out of YOUR funds.

24. I don’t want to go to any more shitty overlord meetings alone because Vox is busy having a mental breakdown and you’re busy looking up new forms of torture.

25. Unlike that Carmine hag I am NOT a wrinkly old mom so STOP making me act like it.

25. Apparently you can only be so “problematic” in Hell and you’ve definitely passed that point

26. Seriously? Do you know how often #CancelTheVees is trending? #CancelValentino is FINE but then you go dragging me into this shit…

27. I’m tired of being the responsible one. Why don’t you two old fucks get your shit together?

#obviously there’s a lot more Valentino needs to stop doing but how much does velvette really care? #and how much does she already know is a lost cause #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel memes #valentino hazbin hotel #velvette hazbin hotel #the vees #vox hazbin hotel #staticmoth #Valentino being a creep about angel #angel dust #stupid hazbin hotel lists #tw: valentino #tw: abuse

[handmade-witch]

part 6 of Slytherin Boys x Incorrect Quotes~~

Part 1 ☆ Part 2 ☆ Part 3 ☆ Part 4 ☆ Part 5

Draco: Am I right, Mattheo?

Mattheo: I’m almost certain you’re not, but to be fair, I wasn’t listening.

☆☆☆

Mattheo: I’d kill someone if you asked me to.

[Y/N]: I’m pretty sure you’d kill someone even if I didn’t ask you to.

☆☆☆

Theodore: Can I ask you for a favor?

[Y/N]: I would literally die for you, but continue.

Theodore: We need to talk about you starting sentences that way.

☆☆☆

Mattheo: Is something burning?

Lorenzo, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you.

Mattheo: Lorenzo, the toaster is literally on fire.

☆☆☆

Lorenzo: Are you okay?

[Y/N], crying: Yeah, it was just the onions.

Lorenzo: *Picks up an onion* What the fuck did you say to [Y/N]?

☆☆☆

[Y/N]: I’m sad.

Lorenzo: Don’t be sad, because sad backwards is das.

Lorenzo: And das not good.

☆☆☆

Blaise: You know you can die from that, right?

Theodore: *smoking a cigarette* That’s the point.

Mattheo: *drinking alcohol* We’re trying to speed this up.

[Y/N] and Lorenzo: *Eating raw cookie dough and nodding*

☆☆☆

Kidnapper: We have your child

[Y/N]: I don’t have a child?

Kidnapper: Then who just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crusts off their sandwich?

[Y/N]: Oh god, you have Draco

☆☆☆

Theodore: Where are you going?

[Y/N]: To get MYSELF a gift cause somebody didn't get me one!

Theodore: I told you I did! Its coming here on Friday!

Mattheo, knowing full well that Theodore got [Y/N] an engagement ring: *eating popcorn*

☆☆☆

[Y/N]: I made this friendship bracelet for you.

Mattheo: You know, I’m not really a jewelry person.

[Y/N]: You don’t have to wear…

Mattheo: No, I’m gonna wear it forever. Back off.

☆☆☆

Theodore: Hey Blaise, do you wanna help us?

Blaise: Oh, I would... but I don’t want to.

☆☆☆

Theodore: This can’t get any worse. Can it?

Mattheo: Sure it can - just give me a minute.

☆☆☆

Mattheo: I am the most responsible person in the group.

Blaise: …You just set the kitchen on fire.

Mattheo: Yes, and I take full responsibility for that.

☆☆☆

[Y/N]: We need to open this locked door. Blaise, give me your credit card.

Blaise: Here.

[Y/N], pocketing it: Thanks. Mattheo, break down the door.

☆☆☆

[Y/N]: We all have our demons.

[Y/N], grabbing Mattheo: This one’s mine.

☆☆☆

Mattheo: This date is boring!

[Y/N]: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.

Mattheo: Then why did you invite me?

[Y/N]: I didnt, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you [Y/N] I'll do whatever I want!

☆☆☆

[Y/N]: Why are you following me?

Theodore: Because we're dating now.

[Y/N]: Okay... what about Mattheo?

Theodore: We're a package deal.

Mattheo: Buy one idiot, get one free.

☆☆☆

Mattheo: *sneaking in through their window*

Lorenzo: *turning in their chair and flicking the light one* You want to tell me where you've been all night?

Mattheo: I was with Theodore?

Theodore: *turning in their chair* Wanna try again?

☆☆☆

Mattheo: All in all, a 100% successful trip.

[Y/N]: But we lost Draco.

Mattheo: All in all, a 100% successful trip!

#slytherin boys #lorenzo berkshire #theodore nott #blaise zabini #draco malfoy #harry potter universe #matteo riddle #lorenzo berkshire x reader #theodore nott x reader #mattheo riddle x reader #incorrect quotes

[ryukenzz]

Muzan Kibutsuji - SFW & NSFW Headcanons

[Note: Relationship Headcanons of Muzan Kibutsuji from Demon Slayer. Reader will be human and a regular citizen for this scenario. Will contain NSFW and slight manga spoilers (just one) so minors/anime-onlys, please do not interact.]

SFW:

Oooooo wee. Mr. Grumpy for a Living himself. Being in a relationship with Muzan can be.... interesting. It can be a lot of things. He can act "generous" and spoil you like a princess or just outright mean as hell. Either way, you'll be treated more as a pet/prized possession than an actual partner.

Muzan, or Tsukihiko, first met you while he was on a stroll with his beloved "wife and daughter." You were minding your business, and the demon just couldn't keep his eyes off you. Of course, the demon chastised himself for even looking at anyone like that, much less a mere human. But, longer he had his eyes on you, the more he wanted to know about you. So, he began planning your move into his castle and his life. This Demon King wanted his Queen. Well... to be more accurate....

He was in need of you.

From your point of view, you noticed Muzan's intense gaze on you that night. To say you weren't fazed by it would be a bold-faced lie. You tried to shake off his glare, but something within you made your eyes turn towards his. The shivers that enveloped your spine, the slight hitch in your breath and body language, none of it went unnoticed by him. Those ruby red eyes of his.... it's like they put you in a trance. One that made you want to know more about him.

The next time you saw Muzan was during a local event in your village. As you went to approach him, the alarm bells in the back of your mind began to ring. Your logic was telling you to stay away from this man at all cost. Deciding to put those thoughts behind, you approach the demon and introduce yourself. Muzan was a bit surprised that you made the first move, but all it did was make his plan of having you that much easier. Giving you a warm smile, he returned your gesture and bowed politely.

“It's a pleasure to meet you as well, (Last Name). I'm Tsukihiko. I apologize for my staring the other night.”

Such a suave liar.

From that day on, a steady friendship ensued between the two of you. Friendly trips to the market, hangouts at local events, night walks in the village. All of it made you come to like Muzan even more. To the point that those feelings became rather.... loving. Initially, you felt guilty for even developing them. The thought of being with a married father made you feel icky. But, being the oh so attentive person that he is, Muzan took note of your inner dilemma and immediately knew how to dissolve those worthless worries. All it took was a fake smile and gentle reassurance.

“(Name), I've come to sense that you're worried about Rei. Well, I can say that it is not necessary. We got a divorce as of recent, and she took our daughter with her. A factor of why is due to what I am.”

Muzan then told you about him being a demon. How he had to consume flesh to survive. This new information made you feel highly conflicted, to say the least. Before you could even process his confession, you heard a twang and found yourself surrounded by a multitude of buildings. You go to question him, but what you saw made your body freeze. Those ruby red eyes you fell for were now a harsh, blood red with slits. The caring Tsukihiko was really the ever atrocious Muzan Kibutsuji, the King of all Demons.

The devilish man stood in front of you, caressing your cheek gently, despite the look of possessiveness in his eyes. It was at this moment that you knew what you were dealing with. It terrified you, but.... it also intrigued you. It only made you fall deeper in love with him. Which is exactly what he wanted. “From this day on, you are mine, and mine only. No demon or man is allowed to be in your prescence, much less look at you. Such filth shall not matter to you. Ever. Do you understand.”

As most people say, Muzan has achieved the rich status and will pretty much spoil you. Anything you want, he's already at the place, cash in hand. That kimono you were eyeing? Already in the closet. A piece of jewelry you talked about getting? He's already putting it around your neck. This man has bought you so much stuff that you feel like a spoiled princess rather than his s/o.

Affection is very rare with him. He's not exactly the romantic type, but when he's in the mood for your touches, he'll just stop you from whatever you were doing and sit you in his lap. He'd caress your thighs and deliver small kisses to your neck. He would hold you tight, almost clingy, but these moments always made your heart flutter.

NSFW:

Now, you know this man is experienced. He's lived for over a thousand years, plus he had five wives in the past (though he treated them like complete shit). Muzan has the knowledge and skills to make the human body experience the ultimate pleasure.

If it weren't for Muzan's ability to hold himself back, he would've jumped on you then and there. The site of the soft ropes decorating the canvas that was your body made him aroused. He decided to heighten the experience by blindfolding you. The demon began to circle you, using the tips of his fingers to stroke the skin of your tummy, goosebumps appearing in their trail. He then moved them to your lips, letting them invade your mouth. You happily sucked on them, a soft moan emitting from you. An amused smirk formed on Muzan's lips.

“Such greed you have. Are you so reluctant to suck on my fingers? Perhaps my cock would be a better option for you then? Hm?”

It seemed his statement went straight to your core. As he stood in front of you and adjusted the rope to spread your legs, Muzan chuckled at the sight of your pussy drooling. Kneeling down, he delivered a series of kisses to your clit while sliding his middle and ring fingers in. To say you were a whimpering mess was an understatement. A combination of not knowing when or what he'd do, plus the feeling of his slender fingers, your cunt sang a song of joy for him.

Muzan is definitely big. He's definitely a good 9 inches and would increase its size to a 10. His cock has veins on both sides, and a pretty pink tip. You didn't know how you were gonna make it with a monster like that, but no worries. Muzan will make it fit. It's why this activity is done with you and you only. Your pussy is the only thing that's capable to handling him.

Your heart jumped a bit when you felt your body being suspended a couple inches off the bed. Was this man really about to fuck you stupid like this? Taking off his clothes, Muzan stood on the bed and used the tip of his dick to tease your entrance. You whined at him to stop the tease and get on with the show. A slap to your clit and the rough pace of his thrusts made you pause your complaint, your loud mewls ringing in the air.

“Cease your complaining. I'm the only one who gives instructions here. Are you that hungry for my cock that you decide to be a brat? To be so desperate as to beg me for it? So filthy. But nonetheless, I will gladly show you just how much I can offer this pussy.”

Muzan's favorite position is definitely between missionary and doggy. Missionary allows him to see you fall apart and mark your neck with his lovebites. Doggy, on the other hand, gives him access to smack your ass to his heart's content. He also loves to push your head into the mattress and fuck you harder. But, his number one will always be you on your knees, sucking him for everything's he's got.

Ya'll have more than likely fucked while he was in his female form. You never knew that tribbing could feel so good. And boy, was Muzan a master at the art. Crossed missionary, cowgirl, you did it all. Of course, she fucked you with dildos of all sizes. Some days, Muzan would overstimulate you with a vibrator attached to your clit.

“You can't handle anymore? How disappointing. You've only had four orgasms so far. Surely you can take more, my naughty girl.”

The overall lesson here? Muzan Kibutsuji is a god at sex, and you will always be left a drooling mess.

[Here's Muzan! Ngl, I went a bit wild with NSFW jdndnrnr💀. Thanks for reading! Likes, comments, and reblogs will be greatly appreciated 💕.]

[Tagging: @sailewhoremoon @frxxst]

#❦.ᴊᴇᴡᴇʟ ᴄᴏᴍᴘᴏꜱᴇꜱ #❦.ɴꜱꜰᴡ- ᴍɪɴᴏʀꜱ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟᴏᴏᴋ #muzan kibutsuji #female muzan #muzan x reader #muzan headcanons #demon slayer x reader #demon slayer headcanons #❦.ɴꜱꜰᴡ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: ʀᴏᴜɢʜ ꜱᴇx #ᴏʀᴀʟ ꜱᴇx (ꜰᴇᴍᴀʟᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴀʟᴇ ʀᴇᴄᴇɪᴠɪɴɢ) #ꜱʜɪʙᴀʀɪ #ᴛʀɪʙʙɪɴɢ #ꜱᴇx ᴛᴏʏꜱ (ᴅɪʟᴅᴏ/ᴠɪʙʀᴀᴛᴏʀ) #muzan kibutsuji x reader

[tswhiisftteedr]

Heyyyy, could you do a oneshot f!reader x Zestial nsfw pretty please ? 🙏

Tea Salon ☆ One Shot

Zestial x Salon Owner Sinner!Fem!Reader:

A young woman with big dreams ready to be achieve was what you were, after making a deal with Overlord Rosie you soon found out that your Salon wasn't the only thing that would bloom in your afterlife...

Warning: Mature Content, Explicit/Graphic Language, Honestly Nothing Kinky, Husband and wife, Praise kink, Creampie, Oral(Female receiving), Old English, NOT PROOFREAD.

Words: 5907

Note: okay if you know anything about business, I am so sorry cuz I don’t, I just did some quick research so if it just looks like a bunch of gibberish (Rosie and reader’s meeting), I am sorry! Also a lot of Rosie in the beginning, like zestial is mentioned but doesn’t show up until the shop is open for a little while.

☆ more under the cut. ☆

In your living, you've always appreciated the simplicity of nature-oriented lifestyle reminiscent of earlier eras. It's not that you have anything against new technologies; you own a smartphone and laptop, after all. What irks you is the over-consumerism perpetuated by planned obsolescence.

Your expectation when purchasing something is that it should function and endure, offering value for the time and money invested. The capitalist mindset, with its overproduction and resulting overconsumption, is something you strongly dislike.

Capitalism inherently creates a class conflict between capital and labor. While capitalists aim for high profits, workers may endure exploitation, receiving wages consistently lower than the true value of their labor.

When you had finally passed away due to a malfunctioning smart car and had discovered that even in the afterlife, people still had to work tirelessly to meet end means, you couldn't deny that you felt disappointed.

With a background in restoration, you secured a position in a somewhat upscale restaurant – well, upscale for Hell's pride ring standards. Although you initially started as a garbage boy, you quickly ascended the ranks to become a server.

Devoting longer hours than your colleagues, by choice, you harbored a goal beyond mere survival in the hellscape. You held an ambition, a genuine dream – to establish a tea salon and sustain yourself through it.

Envisioning your own establishment, you aimed to offer freshly baked treats and brewed tea for guests to enjoy while engaging in lively conversations and gossip.

You were well aware of whose assistance was crucial for your project. Overlord Rosie served as your golden ticket to a thriving salon. You needed her help to secure a building in the border zone shared by her and Overlord Zestial, as both of their people were of interest when envisioning the kind of establishment you hope to open.

After three months of relentless work and an additional month of patiently waiting for an appointment on her end, you finally managed to secure a meeting with the elegant cannibal;

"So, what do you have for me today, darling?" she inquires.

"Well, Madam Rosie—" you begin, but you're promptly interrupted by the demon before you.

"Oh, dear, no need for all those 'madam' formalities for a sweet thing like you. Just call me Rosie. But if you insist on honorifics, then ‘Miss Rosie’ will do!" The leader of Hell's cannibal district and owner of the Rosie emporium cheerfully encourages you to address her casually. Despite the power difference, her amiable attitude eases any tension surrounding your sales pitch.

"Oh, very well then. Ahem, Miss Rosie, I'd like to seek your assistance for a passion project of mine," you pause, collecting your thoughts.

"I'm interested in opening a tea salon. It's been four months since I arrived in hell, and I've been searching extensively for the perfect building. Coincidentally, it's situated on your side of the shared border zone with Overlord Zestial. I understand it's not owned by you as part of the border zone, but being on the edge of your colony grants you some jurisdiction."

"Is that so," she replies, sipping her tea. "I appreciate the idea of a tea salon near my territory. Please elaborate more about the idea itself."

"Of course! I personally dislike the over-consumerism that existed on Earth and persists in hell. My goal is to establish one or two shops at most—something familial and local instead of a big chain. I aim to offer freshly baked and brewed drinks for my customers, who would come from all over the Pentagram. I do acknowledge that most of my clientele would be from your people, Overlord Zestial's, and those from the Radio Demon's territory. A simple analysis suggests that sinners from those areas may be more in tune with the concept, as they hail from eras when such establishments were more common," you explain.

"Well, that's all delightful, darling, but, as you rightly point out, the concept isn't foreign in these circles. Your salon is certainly not the first in these parts. No offense to your aspirations, but I'm struggling to see what sets you apart, something that would entice me to invest."

"As for standing out, I may or may not have direct access to products from the living world," you reveal, prompting Rosie to set down her cup.

"Well, isn't that interesting?" she remarks, now more intrigued.

"Yes, indeed it is. I can assure you that not only would my products be fresh, but they would exclusively feature ingredients from the living world – a culinary experience many down here yearn for. Additionally, I can promise you the highest quality of tea, such as Ceylon," you confidently declare.

"And how would someone like you, who sought an Overlord's assistance, have access to such materials? I'm not necessarily doubting you, but connecting the dots is a bit challenging," she says joyfully.

"Oh, I apologize, but I cannot disclose the identities of my procurers. I've signed an NDA as obtaining items from the world upstairs isn't their primary business. Additionally this avoids attracting requests from other companies, I'm afraid they'll have to remain nameless," you explain.

"Well, isn't that convenient for you, fufufu~ I suppose you'll have to prove your word in other ways," she remarks.

"Indeed, perhaps I have an idea on how to do so that you'd like to hear," you suggest.

"I'm all ears," she replies.

"I've noticed there's a kitchen in this building, so I was contemplating rescheduling another meeting soon after this one. During that meeting, I plan not only to bring in earthly ingredients but also to bake something for you. This would showcase my kitchen skills while simultaneously proving my capability to provide the desired products," you express.

"Well, that does seem feasible. I'll pencil you in for next Monday," she replies, jotting something down on her notepad that had been on the coffee table since the start of the meeting. "Now, shall we discuss payment?" she asks.

"Yes, please. As mentioned earlier, I'll handle the supply for my business. What I need from you is assistance in acquiring the building, help with renovations since it's a bit run-down, and perhaps some promotion to your people concerning work, as I'll still require staff when I eventually open. I've checked the listing for the building itself, and I have more than enough for the purchase. However, when renovations and promoting are considered, my budget becomes a bit tight. I was thinking of a BNPL for that part," you explain.

"Alright then, that doesn't seem too bad. How about this: I get 10% of the overall monthly revenue from your establishment. I still need to make some money, after all, fufufu~ Additionally, we can consider a 1-year BNPL plan to repay the renovation loan. And one more thing: to prove your establishment's worth, aim for a minimum 20% net profit by the end of the year since opening day. How does that sound to you?" she inquires.

"10 percent isn't too stiff, but a 20% net profit may be a little challenging in only a year of business. However, I believe in my dream!" you cheerfully exclaim.

"I'm glad you agree, though I still need some collateral for your loan. But let's discuss that after I get to see your skills in action," she tells you a bit more seriously.

"Makes sense," you reply.

"I think that's all for today unless you still have something to talk about," she asks.

"No, that's all from my side," you tell her.

"Wonderful, darling! I hope to see you Monday at 12:35 a.m.," she says as she stands up and points to the door.

"Yes, so do I," you respond as you exit the room.

Leaving her building, you were more than pleased that the meeting had gone well. Once home, as you collapsed on your couch, releasing all your stress, you couldn't help but feel grateful for the chance encounter with that imp during your first month in hell;

On that day, you had ventured to imp city for errands, finding Carmine products a bit too pricey for your liking. Seeking an alternative for self-defense, you visited a gun shop there.

Exiting the store, you witnessed a heartbreaking scene—an imp being beaten up by a group of sinners, degrading names thrown at him. While you refrained from intervening, as it wasn't your place, the revelation that they were targeting the imp simply because he was an imp, compelled you to approach and ensure he wasn't fatally harmed.

Before you could rouse his battered form with a shake, he uttered, "The hell you want."

"Oh, I just wanted to make sure you were okay," you reassure him.

"Bullshit," he retorts loudly. "Listen, fucking pickpocket, those assholes already took everything I had on me, besides my clothes. And I sure as hell won't be stroll down these motherfucking streets in my underwear. So, if you wanted anything, too bad, now you have until the count of ten before I blow a hole in your skull," he rudely warns.

"First of all, I'm not going to rob you. Second, how are you going to shoot me if you just said you had nothing on you? And thirdly, I was serious about checking on you. It's unfair that they beat you up just for being an imp. It's messed up, honestly. Since sinners don't have specific races like back on Earth, they just go after other beings to exercise their racist ideology," you say.

"Humans sure do love their racism," he remarks, still untrusting but more open to conversation.

"Sinners are down here for a reason, but hellspawns are different. They're currently living their lives, just like humans did back on Earth. And yet, the damned are considered superior? That's just messed up," you express sincerely. In your view, hell's hierarchy wasn't fair. ‘If this was the sinners' punishment, why categorize them as better than imps—creatures born here, not getting punished for misconduct.’

With that sentiment resonating in your words, the imp seemed more at ease as he responded to your next words. "Anyways, you need medical attention. Let's get to a hospital."

"Do you have the money for medical bills, or even the admission fee? 'Cause I sure don't," he replies, a grin on his face, strangely charming despite his black eye and cut lips.

"Yeah, sorry, pal. I can't afford the rates for treating you; I'm saving for something big," you convey with sadness in your voice.

He chuckles at your honesty. "Thought so," he replies, allowing his body to rest against the brick wall of the alley even more, as if surrendering.

"My place is far from here. Do you have any first aid supplies at yours?" you inquire, a slight panic setting in, concerned that if he fell asleep, he might not make it, even though he wasn't bleeding excessively. Yet, he didn't appear likely to stay conscious much longer.

"Yeah, but it's too far from here," he begins, heightening your anxiety. "Though my office isn't. There's some there too," he adds, his eyes glossy, appearing on the verge of passing out at any moment.

"Alright then, just give me the address, and I'll take you there," he somewhat reluctantly grumbled out the location before passing out.

Entering the address into your phone's search engine and hoisting the imp onto your back, you walked to the location.

Quite aware that cab drivers might attempt to take extort you, especially considering you were a human carrying an injured imp, you opted for the slower but more cost-effective walking route, reaching the destination in about 25 minutes.

Climbing the stairs to the seventh floor drained your energy, but your adrenaline surged upon encountering a hellhound and two imps inside the office.

The hellhound growled and barked aggressively, while the female imp simultaneously yelled and prepared for a fight. The only one not seeing red was the male imp, who was trying to make sense of the situation.

"What the hell happened to Blitzø!??" the hellhound demanded.

"Yeah, what the hell did you do to him!?!??" the female imp added, brandishing a knife.

"Millie, calm down. If they brought him here, they're most likely not the ones who hurt him," the male imp reasoned with the female.

"Yeah, it wasn't me. He got beaten up by a group of supremacist sinners," you explained as you gently placed him on the couch in the room. "He told me he had a first aid kit here, so I brought him here as neither he nor I could afford the hospital bills."

"And how can we be sure you aren't part of the jerks who hurt him, huh?" the female imp asked, her nerves still on edge, clearly showing concern for the imp. ‘Well, no, Millie showed concern a lot about Blitz.’

"You can just ask him when he wakes up, but right now, he needs help. So, can any of you bring the kit, and we'll get this over with."

With reluctance, the hellhound, whom you soon learned was named Luna, retrieved the kit and left the healing to the male imp, Moxxie. They preferred you not to touch him any further.

After briefly stepping out to grab some missing antiseptic, you observed as they took care of him. You had convinced your way into staying until he awoke; the thought that his injuries might be worse than you initially thought haunted you, and you couldn't bear the idea that he might have died if you hadn't brought him here fast enough.

After Blitzø had regained consciousness, he thanked you and offered a 50% discount on your first kill. Curious about the statement, you informed him that you weren't aware of what his company specialized in. He somewhat joyfully played their commercial for you.

Finding it all very intriguing, you inquired about the possibility of them visiting the living world for a different purpose, which he confirmed but clarified it wasn't their company's business.

Tugging a bit at their heartstrings, particularly after saving Blitzø, you divulged your ambitions. To stand out and make your dream a reality, you needed something unique, and they held the key to it. Your request was for them to procure ingredients from the human world.

Blitzø exhibited reluctance, but Millie underwent a 180-degree shift, genuinely eager to assist you, with her husband supporting her. After some persuasion, you struck a deal with I.M.P. In exchange for 5/7 of the usual kill price and keeping things on the down low, they agreed to provide you with a weekly shipment of the groceries.

Returning to the present, it was now Monday, and you found yourself 10 minutes ahead of schedule, standing in front of Rosie's emporium with a large cooler containing your ingredients.

An employee inside noticed you through the sizable glass entry doors and came out to guide you to the kitchen. They assured you that they would inform Rosie of your arrival and gave you the green light to start setting up.

True to your word, you efficiently prepared the kitchen, and right on schedule, Rosie arrived to find a clean and ready-to-use workspace, along with the promised fresh and earthy ingredients;

"Looks like you're a woman of your word, aren't you, dear?" Rosie remarked as she grabbed some dairy products and checked the expiration dates on them.

"Of course, and I wouldn't even dream of lying to you in the first place," you assured her.

"Oh, how trustworthy you are, fufufu~" she teased.

"Of course, now should I begin?" you asked, and she replied affirmatively.

With that, the baking commenced. Your choice of treat for today was a Charlotte au fraise. In about 35 minutes, you finished the preparation.

The dessert needed to chill for 8 hours in the fridge, but anticipating such a wait, you had invested in a 'chill crystal' for today and the future. This crystal is essential for cooks and bakers alike in hell as it significantly reduces the time a dish needs to be refrigerated.

Using it, your 8 hours turned into 25 minutes. During that time, you cleaned your equipment and the kitchen and, of course, brewed some tea for Rosie.

Upon reaching the 25-minute mark, you brought out the cake, cut a slice for Rosie, and served her a cup of tea. She relished every last bit of it;

"This was all wonderful, y/n," she expressed. "I am sure of it now, I will definitely invest in your dream!"

"Oh, thank you, Miss Rosie! You don't know how much this means to me!" you exclaimed joyfully.

"I'm glad I can help. But now that we've agreed I'll lend my assistance to you on your adventure, I still need you to agree on the collateral for the BNPL I want."

"Oh, of course. What is it?" you asked.

"Well, it's elementary, dear. What I want is... your soul!" she told you.

"Oh, well, that's only until I pay you back, right?" You asked worriedly.

"Yes, of course. If everything goes well and you pay me back before the deadline, you'll get your soul back. But if you exceed the time limit, your soul will indefinitely belong to me. I hope you understand that," she explained.

With a gulp, you spoke up, "I understand, Miss. Rosie."

"Wonderful, then... 'It's a deal,'" she declared, and with those words, a bright pink contract materialized, altering the entire room's shade. Nervously, you picked up a pen from the table and signed your soul away.

As you pulled away from the contract, a pink chain momentarily appeared around your neck, then vanished in a flash along with the contract.

The demonstration went well, and you got what you wanted. While having your soul signed away was nerve-racking, you believed that if you made your vision work in time, it would return to you.

You begin to double your efforts, working your ass off harder than before. On your days off from the restaurant, you checked on the renovations of your building, and about a month later, everything was completed. After a long time of sucking up to the influential guests of the restaurant, you earned enough money to quit and open your shop.

With Rosie's promotion to her people, you efficiently built a staff, even recruiting some from other districts. On the 7th of August, you finally opened the doors to your shop, and it turned out to be a tremendous success.

The turnout exceeded expectations, but you had trained your staff to handle it. Business was booming, meeting Rosie's conditions in about 5 months instead of a year.

Just as you had envisioned, people from all over the pentagram flocked to enjoy the services your establishment provided. Surprisingly, sinners from Zestial'd district emerged as your number 1 clientele, surpassing even Rosie's people.

With your salon becoming the hot topic of his district, it caught the interest of the governing overlord. Since his people were captivated by your establishment, he decided to pay a visit himself. And so he did.

Upon the first approach to the building, he was delighted by the overall aesthetic.

While he wasn't from the era when salons first became popular, being about two centuries older, the entire ambiance brought a sense of nostalgia, even though he wasn't alive when they gained popularity.

Another aspect that pleased him was the evident respect guests and staff showed to the establishment during a service. People were polite, and the quality of the food served was impeccable.

He was currently enjoying a cup of tea with none other than Rosie, discussing the success of the establishment;

"You've madeth a valorous investment, mine lief friend. This salon is nothing but successful; you've hath found quite the gem,” Zestial complimented Rosie as he sipped his tea.

Setting her cup down, Rosie responded, "Oh, quite the contrary, Zestial. My dear little owner was the one who reached out. Sparkles in her eyes and a big dream in her heart. With hard work, she achieved those ambitions, beating my expectations and regaining her soul in less than half the time I expected."

"is yond so? Quite the guts and perseverance the lady hath,“ he replied, taking another sip of his tea.

"Yes, though I honestly didn't expect your people to enjoy this place so much. Really messed up my calculations," she said, playfully feigning frustration.

"well, sinners art inherently unpredictable creatures by nature. Plus," he paused to take a bite of a fruit tart on his plate, "with desserts like this, i don't expect anyone to intermit long ere coming to tryeth those folk for themselves. Speaking of which, i would love to compliment the owner and chef for such marvelous worketh, “ he said once he had swallowed his bite.

Rosie replied, "Well, that's the fun thing – they're both the same person. She works diligently as both showrunner and employee! But yes, I can get her if you truly wish to speak to her."

"yond would beest appreciated,“ he told her.

Meanwhile, you were on the phone with a decor company, trying to arrange something for Valentine's Day in a month – or more like Valentine's week, with new decor from the 7th to the 14th.

Once you hung up, Rosie entered the office and informed you of the situation. Without questions, you followed her into the main room of the salon, and let's just say you were nervous;

Gazing at your form, Zestial spoke out, "i wilt sayeth, miss y/n, i greatly enjoy thy establishment, and so doth mine people.”

"Oh— thank you so much, Zestial, sir, I- I mean, Mr. Zestial. Sorry, I meant Overlord Zestial! So sorry!" you stammer.

"quite the nervous one, isn’t the lady?" he did add with a bawbling chuckle. he said to Rosie, who only nodded in agreement. "well, nay needeth for worries. 'zestial' is quite fine, child." he added with a small chuckle.

"Oh, alright then. Thank you for your praise, Zestial," you said with a soft smile, which he returned. ‘Satan, was he handsome.’

"Hey, how come you call him by his name right away, and I'm still 'Miss Rosie'?" Rosie teased.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Miss Rosie. I've just gotten used to it," you replied, and they both laughed at your flustered state.

This soon became a common occurrence for you, and quickly after that, Zestial came more and more often to the point that your salon became Zestial's meeting spot when discussing business. Consequently, he had his own VIP room for such occurrences.

Simultaneously, you grew closer with the Overlord, becoming more comfortable around him. About a month later, you found yourself crushing on the man, giving him a fair amount of treats on the house to show affection.

And don't think said affection went unnoticed by him. Being an old soul like him brought wisdom, especially in the romance department.

Actually, Zestial himself found himself enamored with you, leading to him declaring his desire to court you;

You were tidying up the VIP room after one of Zestial's meetings, swiping down the table. As you prepared to leave the room, the Overlord spoke up.

"y/n, darling, may i hath't a word with thee?” he asked.

"Yes, of course, Zestial. What do you need?" you replied, your voice slightly quivering, because, 'fuck, did you love the fact he started calling you romantic pet names.'

"well, mine lovely business owner, i hath't to admit something to thee, so prithee did put the rag down and sitteth, " he requested. You obliged. "It seems that I have found mys"'t seemeth yond i hath't did find myself having fallen for thee,“ he began, making your breath hitch.

"i eke did notice yond thee seemeth to feeleth the same, or am i wrong?" he inquired, causing you to shake your head and answer with a weak, flustered 'no.' "did doth bethink so," he said with a chuckle. "then, as we both feeleth for one another, i'd like to court thee, unless thee hath't something 'gainst me doing so.”

"Yes— I mean no, well, um, shit," you stammered. Taking a breath, you spoke out again. "What I meant to say was, yes, I would love to be courted by you, more than anything, actually," you admitted.

Standing up, walking behind you, and wrapping his arm around your figure, he leaned down to your ear. "well, isn't yond perfect. I can't wait to hath't thee all to myself still,“ he whispered, somewhat sensually, leaving you in shock yet longing for more when he pulled away.

And with that, the courtship began. You found yourself taken out for nights on the town to nice restaurants, sweet notes and love poems left in your office for you to see, and evenings spent at his castle in the fireplace room, listening as he serenaded you, oh so lovingly.

You honestly couldn't wait for you and him to become official. You might have thought that being spoken for after such a short time was idiotic in the past, but Zestial was just so perfect and all you needed in your afterlife. It was obvious that you would marry as soon as he asked you.

About 5 months after your initial meeting, you found yourself dining with your suitor at quite the fancy restaurant, fancier than the one you used to work at actually.

"how art thee liking thy food, mine sweet y/n?” Zestial inquired.

"Yes, it's wonderful. What about yours, Zestial?" you asked back.

"everything is eke wonderful on mine end, " he replied, then added on, "Mine darling, would thee mind stopping thy meal for an instant? I'd like to break with an important matter with thee.”

"Oh, why, of course," you replied, putting down your utensils. You were now accustomed to Zestial and his ways, but his next move surprised you.

Zestial had stood up and got on his knees. "mine love, despite not having known thee for yond long did compare to mine long existence, i cannot see myself spending mine life beyond the grave without thee. Thou art high-sighted, talented, ingenious, and quite quaint, to a sir like me, and i would did bet many others, ye art quite literally breathtaking. Yond is accounting for thee as a whole, not just thy aesthetic attributes. So, y/n l/n, would thee doth me the honor of being thy husband for eternity?” He said as he pulled out a ring box, opening it to reveal a beautiful green diamond ring.

Overwhelmed with emotion, you gasped in surprise, your eyes widened at the stunning ring before you. The green diamond sparkled, capturing the essence of your feelings.

"Oh, Zestial..." You trailed off, a wave of happiness and love washing over you. Tears of joy glistened in your eyes as you nodded enthusiastically.

"Yes, a thousand times yes!" you exclaimed, your heart pounding with excitement. Zestial's face lit up with a radiant smile as he gently slipped the ring onto your finger.

As the dazzling gem adorned your hand, sealing the promise of eternity, Zestial rose from his kneeling position. You both shared a tender embrace, sealing the moment with a passionate kiss. The restaurant's ambiance faded away as you were immersed in the warmth of Zestial's affection.

The patrons and staff discreetly applauded, offering their congratulations to the newly engaged couple. Zestial held you close, his eyes reflecting the depth of his emotions.

"to our dateless love,“ he whispered, and you clinked your glasses together in a toast. The night continued, now infused with the magic of your commitment to each other.

From that moment forward, you and Zestial embarked on a beautiful journey, navigating the twists and turns of the afterlife hand in hand, bound by an eternal love that transcended time and existence.

And so, your wedding unfolded in a splendid ceremony. Radiant in your role, you felt like a true queen that day, with Rosie officiating and injecting humor into the proceedings, eliciting laughter from you, Zestial, and your guests.

The day was a jubilant celebration, offering you the chance to become better acquainted with Zestial's fellow overlords, including Carmilla Carmine: Holy Arms Dealer and Alastor: The Radio Demon. Despite their contrasting personalities, they played nice for the sake of the occasion.

However, that was a few hours ago. Now, with the reception concluded, all the guests had departed, leaving you and Zestial in the intimate confines of his castle, specifically, his bedroom.

Following tradition, this was the night of your nuptials, the night where you and Zestial would come together as one for the first time;

Seated at the edge of the king-size bed in your now shared room, you adorned yourself in an exquisite, intricately embroidered transparent nightgown, awaiting Zestial.

The faint click of the door drew your attention, and your now-husband entered, pushing the door open with a subtle yet confident gesture.

"Well, mine dearest bride, “ Zestial said, his voice filled with an underlying lustfulness that sent shivers down your spine. "'t seemeth we finally hath't some time high-lone.” He stepped closer to you, his presence filling up the entire room.

You could feel his eyes roaming over your exposed body, drinking in every inch of you like a starving demon discovering a feast fit for a king. While you tried hard not to squirm or show any signs of discomfort, your heart raced faster than it ever had before as he spoke words of praise.

"T-thank you, Zestial," you managed to croak out, trying to maintain some semblance of composure despite the butterflies fluttering wildly in your stomach.

His voice dripping with false surprise. "thee behold absolutely stunning in yond gown, y/n.”

He stepped closer, his hands reaching out to caress your exposed thighs, his touch sending electric shocks coursing through your entire body. You bit down hard on your bottom lip, fighting the urge to whimper aloud as he continued to tease you. ‘Were you always this needy?’

"art thee eft for me to claim what is rightfully mine?” he asked, his eyes flashing with hunger.

You nodded vigorously, as he slowly undressed himself, revealing his tall, imposing frame covered in black fabric that clung tightly to his lithe figure. He kicked off his shoes and stepped out of his pants.

As he stood before you, nude except for his dark briefs, you couldn't help but marvel at his imposing presence. He towered over you like a giant spider, his erect member straining against the thin fabric of his boxers.

Trembling slightly, you open your legs, inviting him to climb onto the bed and join you. Without hesitation, Zestial crawled onto the mattress, positioning himself between your spread legs. He leaned forward, his mouth hovering inches away from your pussy, his breath hot against your sensitive folds.

"Tell me, mine own lief jointress," he purred, his voice low and husky. "Would thee liketh me to gust thee first?”

A shiver ran down your spine as you replied, your voice cracking slightly. "Yes... please..."

Zestial's eyes gleamed with anticipation as he lowered his head, his lips brushing against your sensitive flesh. You let out a soft moan as he began to tease you, tracing light kisses along your thighs and inner thighs before finally reaching your wet, quivering entrance.

He sucked on your sensitive folds, causing your hips to buck and writhe involuntarily.

As he continued his lewd assault on your most intimate areas, his tongue darted out to lick and circle your clit, sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body.

You arched your back, crying out his name, your nails digging into the sheets as he relentlessly pleasured you.

"Oh, Satan... Zestial!" You panted, your breath coming in short gasps. "I'm going to—I'm almost there!"

"Good girl," Zestial growled, his voice thick with desire. He increased the pace of his assault, sucking harder on your clit and thrusting his tongue deeper into your wetness.

Your moans turned into incoherent moans of pure ecstasy as he brought you closer to the edge of orgasm.

Just as you felt you were about to cum, he suddenly pulled away, leaving you craving more. "Not yet, mine own dram naughty bride," he purred. "We haven't begun yet. “

He stood up straight again, his hardened member now fully exposed, throbbing with anticipation. "do thee wanteth me to filleth thee up anon?” he asked, his voice husky with desire.

You panted heavily, your breath coming in ragged gasps. "Yes, please, Zestial," you pleaded, your voice hoarse from your intense arousal. "I need you inside me."

“Are thee sure mine own loveth, thy so bawbling i’m afraid i might breaketh thee. ” He teased, which only made whine pleadingly.

Without further ado, Zestial positioned himself between your spread legs once more. Slowly, he pushed himself into your tight, wet entrance, filling you up to the brim.

A mixture of pain and pleasure radiated throughout your body as he began to thrust rhythmically, his massive member stretching and stretching you further than you ever thought possible.

Each thrust was accompanied by a low groan from both of you, the sounds of your bodies slapping together filling the quiet room.

Your nails clawed at the sheets, leaving long, deep scratches in the fabric as he pounded into you relentlessly. Your orgasm built up faster than before, approaching its peak once more.

"Cum f'r me, mine own lief," Zestial growled, his eyes blazing with lust. "Let wend and releaseth all yond pent-up desire. “

You cried out his name, your body convulsing violently as you climaxed again, your juices coating his member and dripping down your thighs.

Your orgasm seemed to fuel him further, and he picked up the pace, thrusting faster and harder than ever before.

"Yes! More, give me more!" You begged, your voice barely recognizable from the pleasure that consumed you.

As your body continued to shake with each powerful thrust, Zestial groaned deeply, his fingers digging into your hips for support. Suddenly, he groaned loudly, his entire body tensing up before shooting his hot seed deep inside of you, filling you completely.

Finally, he pulled out of you, his cock still twitching as he collapsed beside you on the bed. Panting heavily, he reached over and brushed a strand of sweat-drenched hair from your forehead.

"That wast. quite wond'rful," he managed to croak out between heavy breaths. "Howev'r, i doubteth a single round shall suffice to satisfyeth mine own needeth, consid'ring i've been anticipating this moment f'r months. ”

“Oh.” Was all you had the time to say before your night of passion continues.

"Thank you, Zestial," you panted, your own breath returning to normal. "That was... amazing."

You reached over and caressed his cheek, your fingers trailing down to his chin. "Could we... do it again sometime?"

He chuckled softly, his eyes softening slightly. "Of course, mine own lief jointress," he replied, chuckling at your somewhat innocent neediness, his voice still husky with satisfaction. "We has't all the timeth in this hellish w'rld togeth'r anon. "

You lay there for a while, basking in their post-coital bliss, their hearts racing in sync. Eventually, Zestial stirred, moving closer to you. "Do thee needeth aught else bef're we retireth f'r the night?” he asked, his hand trailing down your stomach to rest on your hipbone.

“No, I just want you close to me.” You answered,

“Of course.” he replied softly, placing a kiss on your forehead as you fell asleep in each other’s arms….

Old English in order of apparition;

"You've madeth a valorous investment, mine lief friend. This salon is nothing but successful; you've hath found quite the gem, ” = "You've made a good investment, my friend. This salon is nothing but successful; you've found quite the gem,”

"is yond so? Quite the guts and perseverance the lady hath,“ = "Is that so? Quite the guts and perseverance she has,"

"well, sinners art inherently unpredictable creatures by nature. Plus," = "Well, sinners are inherently unpredictable creatures by nature. Plus,"

"with desserts like this, i don't expect anyone to intermit long ere coming to tryeth those folk for themselves. Speaking of which, i would love to compliment the owner and chef for such marvelous worketh, “ = "with desserts like this, I don't expect anyone to resist long before coming to try them for themselves. Speaking of which, I would love to compliment the owner and chef for such marvelous work,"

"yond would beest appreciated,“ = "That would be appreciated,"

"i wilt sayeth, miss y/n, i greatly enjoy thy establishment, and so doth mine people.” = "I must say, Miss Y/n, I greatly enjoy your establishment, and so do my people."

"quite the nervous one, isn’t the lady?" = "Quite the nervous one, isn’t she?"

"well, nay needeth for worries. 'zestial' is quite fine, child." = "Well, no need for worries. 'Zestial' is quite fine, child,"

"y/n, darling, may i hath't a word with thee?” he asked. = "Y/n, darling, may I have a word with you?"

"well, mine lovely business owner, i hath't to admit something to thee, so prithee did put the rag down and sitteth, " = "Well, my lovely business owner, I have to admit something to you, so please put the rag down and sit,"

"It seems that I have found mys"'t seemeth yond i hath't did find myself having fallen for thee,“ = "It seems that I have found myself having fallen for you,"

"i eke did notice yond thee seemeth to feeleth the same, or am i wrong?" = "I also noticed that you seem to feel the same, or am I wrong?"

"did doth bethink so," = "Thought so,"

"then, as we both feeleth for one another, i'd like to court thee, unless thee hath't something 'gainst me doing so.” = "Then, as we both feel for one another, I'd like to court you, unless you have something against me doing so."

"well, isn't yond perfect. I can't wait to hath't thee all to myself still,“ = "Well, isn't that perfect. I can't wait to have you all to myself forever,"

"how art thee liking thy food, mine sweet y/n?” = "How are you liking your food, my sweet Y/N?"

"everything is eke wonderful on mine end, " = "Everything is also wonderful on my end,"

"Mine darling, would thee mind stopping thy meal for an instant? I'd like to break with an important matter with thee.” = "My darling, would you mind stopping your meal for an instant? I'd like to discuss an important matter with you."

"mine love, despite not having known thee for yond long did compare to mine long existence, i cannot see myself spending mine life beyond the grave without thee. Thou art high-sighted, talented, ingenious, and quite quaint, to a sir like me, and i would did bet many others, ye art quite literally breathtaking. Yond is accounting for thee as a whole, not just thy aesthetic attributes. So, y/n l/n, would thee doth me the honor of being thy husband for eternity?” = "My love, despite not having known you for that long compared to my long existence, I cannot see myself spending my life beyond the grave without you. You're ambitious, talented, ingenious, and beautiful, to a man like me, and I would bet many others, you are quite literally breathtaking. That is accounting for you as a whole, not just your aesthetic attributes. So, Y/N L/N, would you do me the honor of being your husband for eternity?"

"to our dateless love,“ = "To our everlasting love,"

"Well, mine dearest bride, “ = "Well, my dearest bride,"

"'t seemeth we finally hath't some time high-lone.” = "It seems we finally have some time alone."

"thee behold absolutely stunning in yond gown, y/n.”= "You look absolutely stunning in that gown, y/n."

"art thee eft for me to claim what is rightfully mine?” = "Are you ready for me to claim what is rightfully mine?"

"tell me, mine own lief jointress," = "Tell me, my dear wife,"

"Would thee liketh me to gust thee first?” = "Would you like me to taste you first?"

"not yet, mine own dram naughty bride," = "Not yet, my little naughty bride,"

"We haven't begun yet. “ = "We haven't begun yet."

"do thee wanteth me to filleth thee up anon?” = "Do you want me to fill you up now?"

“are thee sure mine own loveth, thy so bawbling i’m afraid i might breaketh thee. ” = “Are you sure my love, your so small I’m afraid I might break you.”

"Cum f'r me, mine own lief," = "Cum for me, my dear,"

"Let wend and releaseth all yond pent-up desire. “= "Let go and release all that pent-up desire."

"That wast. quite wond'rful," = "That was... quite wonderful,"

"Howev'r, i doubteth a single round shall suffice to satisfyeth mine own needeth, consid'ring i've been anticipating this moment f'r months. ” = "However, I doubt a single round will suffice to satisfy my needs, considering I've been anticipating this moment for months.”

"Of course, mine own lief jointress," = “Of course, my dear wife,"

"We has't all the timeth in this hellish w'rld togeth'r anon. " = "We have all the time in this hellish world together now.”

"do thee needeth aught else bef're we retireth f'r the night?” = "Do you need anything else before we retire for the night?"

Thanks anon for requesting!

©tswhiisfttedr. dn translate, or plagiarize.

Tip Me (Ko-Fi) & And support my art account @maviscarlettie

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Reblogs help!!! (Request Are On Pause)

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[thenasoneshots]

Lucifer/Alastor Oneshot - A Tale of Two Dads

Requested?: No

Prompt: None

Type of oneshot: Fluff/Angst

Reader's Relations: Alastor’s ex-girlfriend

Warnings: Spoilers for eps 7-8 of season 1! This was written the say those two came out

Other notes: Don’t ask how I thought of this…Somehow, my brain fixated on these two, and well oneshots is what happens when my brain gets fixated on characters.

-------------------------------

“You absolute bastard, Alastor!” I shouted once he’d shown up at Charlie’s hotel, seven years after leaving, “You leave for seven years and all you have to say is ‘hi’?! Someone hold me back before I fuck his face up!”

“Hello, My Dear, it’s good to see you too.”

“Fuck you,” I retorted, making eye contact with him, in an easy feat due to the fact I was the same height as him. He just smirked at me, using his microphone to lift my chin, an unnecessary thing due to the fact I was already looking at him, “Now now, that’s not the right way to talk to me, is it, My Dear?” I didn’t respond, instead I just growled and tried to punch him continuously, him dodging every blow I attempted to make.

“You should know that’s not going to work, (Y/n).”

“Fuck. Off. Before. I. Kill. You. Myself. Bastard. I’ve had to deal with a child that you-”

“Mama? What’s going on?”

My head immediately shot around to see Alianna standing at the bottom of the stairs, the seven-year-old rubbing her eyes as if she’d just been woken up. I gave Alastor another glare before rushing over, “It’s okay, Sweetie. Nothing you need to worry about,” I spoke, ruffling her red hair.

“You always say that!”

“I say that because most of the time, you don’t need to worry ab-”

Alianna cut me off, asking the question I had wished she would never have to ask, “Is he my Papa?”

If I’d been drinking something, I would definitely have spat it out in shock, “Now now, Ali, that’s something you don’t need to worry about you. You can learn more about your father when you are older.”

She pouted for a few seconds before, “Okay, I’m older!”

I chuckled, “I meant in a few years, now back to bed with you.”

Alianna sighed and nodded, running off back upstairs towards our room in the hotel. I let out a sigh of relief and stood up, turning around, only to have Alastor directly in my face, “For fuck sake, stop doing that, you bastard,” I shouted, punching him in the arm.

“Why should I stop when I get-”

“Were you listening to our conversation?”

“It was kind of hard not to, (Y/n)... I think you owe some people an explanation, and I’d be happy to loosen up your strings a bit if you know what I mean,” I heard Angel’s voice saying before I saw one of his arms dangling in front of my face and, what I guessed was another, on my head.

I rolled my eyes, “How many times, Angel? I’m not interested in you. Stop trying,” I growled, shoving him off me, “But, I guess you’re right about the explanation. This Radio Demon Bastard here,” I paused and pointed over in Alastor’s direction, “Is Alianna’s father. She doesn’t know, so please keep it quiet. I’m begging you.”

“You can always beg more, (Y/n). If you catch me drift…”

“Angel, shut up for once. Not the time for your sexual fantasies.”

------------------------------

“Alianna. No. Get back here right now!” I shouted, running up and pulling her off Lucifer gently, “I am so sorry, Sir. She got out of my sight. I apologise again.”

“It’s alright. She’s cute anyway. Much like her mother.”

I felt my face turn red as I looked away, but before I could say anything, Alastor was in front of me, glaring down at the Short King of Hell, “She’s mine. Get away.”

“Oh really?” Lucifer questioned, before walking around the Radio Demon and up to me, taking my hand in his, “Because there’s nothing on her hand to show she belongs to anyone,” he finished, bringing my hand up with his and kissing it, “But if she really is ‘yours’, she has had ample opportunity to stop my advances, and isn’t so…”

“I do not belong to anyone. You,” I turned and glared at Alastor, “May be Alianna’s father, but it doesn’t mean that I am ‘yours’. As a matter of fact, you lost all rights to even seeing her when you left, so you can just go away and leave me alone!” I shouted.

------------------------

A few days later, I found a(n) (F/c) rubber duck sitting on my bed, along with a note. “I wasn’t messing around when I said you were cute, I meant it. Call me? L.” there was a phone number at the bottom and I giggled. I knew it was probably wrong as he was Charlie’s dad, who was my best friend… But he’d made an impression on me. So I added the number to my phone under the nickname ‘Short King’, and sent a message, “I got your note. Thanks for the duck. How’d you know (F/c) is my favourite colour?”

--------------------------

I groaned in pain as I lay on the ruins of the hotel, after having come face to face with one of the angels, blood seeping from my side. It was just as I was losing consciousness, that I saw a flash of white in front of me, fighting off the angel.

LUCIFER’S POV

Once the angels had retreated, I turned back to (Y/n) to see her unconscious, with blood surrounding her. Immediately, I retracted my wings and knelt beside her, realising she’s been severely wounded, “(Y/n)? Please wake up. You have to. (Y/n), please. I- love you.”

“Dad?”

I looked up to see Charlie standing there, a saddened smile on her face, “You can’t bring her back.”

“Is there nothing?! No one can bring her back?” I asked, despair wreaking through my voice, as I felt tears cascading down my cheeks.

“I’ve got one idea… but it’s a long shot, so don’t get your hopes up,” Charlie replied, running off. She came back a few minutes later, dragging a girl behind her, who seemed to be complaining, “Charlie! I told you, I can heal, but I can’t combat the second death!”

“Just try. For me? Please?”

“I’m telling you, this isn’t going to work if she’s dead, Charlie!”

“Try though? Please, Brianna?”

“Fine, I’ll try, but no one get their hopes up,” the brunette replied as Charlie pulled her over. I noticed Brianna take a deep breath before kneeling on (Y/n)’s other side, cracking her knuckles, “I’ll say it again if she’s truly dead, then this isn’t going to work, but I’m going to need help,” she paused and turned her attention towards me, “May I ask for your help, Sir? This will only work if I have the help of someone she loves.”

“M-me? I-Isn’t there someone else that she loves? Like her daughter?”

The brown-haired demon just chuckled in response, “I mean it’s got to be romantic love, not platonic love.”

“Oh... Wait a minute, do you still want me to help? As much as I hate to say this, shouldn’t you be getting that Radio Demon to help? In the sense that he’s the father of her daughter, therefore she must love him.”

“As a matter of fact. I know she hates me. She lit-”

“Alastor’s right, Dad. You may not have realised, but that duck you gave her has pride of place in her room. Every day she makes a point of dusting it, and no one’s allowed near it. I’m surprised it’s not in a locked box that only she has access to. She wouldn’t have kept it if you didn’t mean anything to her. Plus you deserve to be happy as well,” Charlie spoke, placing a hand on my shoulder and kneeling beside me, “Trust me. You’re the one we need to bring (Y/n) back.”

“Well? Are you going to do this or not? We don’t have much time left.”

With a final boost of confidence from Charlie, I nodded, turning to Brianna, “Okay.”

She smiled, “Okay. In that case, I need you to place both your hands above where her heart is and keep your eyes closed. Can you do that?” I nodded, doing as she asked me, remembering to close my eyes.

YOUR POV

I woke up with a start, and I lifted my head in shock, but before I could say anything, I’d been wrapped in a hug, “(Y/n)!”

“O-oh.. hello, Mr Lucifer. I-It’s good to see you too,” I replied as he continued to squeeze the living Hell out of me, “C-can you let me go though? Personal space.”

“Sorry! I’m just glad you’re okay,” he started, letting me go as his face turned the same colour as his waistcoat, but before I could mention it, Charlie had spoken up, “See, Dad? Told you it was you that she loved.”

“CHARLIE!” I all but screamed, “HOW IN THE ACTUAL HELL DID YOU KNOW THAT?! You better start running. I don’t care if you’re the Princess of Hell, telling someone that your friend has a crush on them is not funny!” I continued, standing up and starting to chase after her, but before I could get too far I felt a gloved hand wrap around my wrist and pull me backwards, spinning me around, before I felt pressure on my lips. It took me a second to process, but once I did I wrapped my arms around the King of Hell’s neck and kissed him back.

“You have nothing to be ashamed of, (Y/n).”

I grinned widely, “Still embarrassing that it took your daughter to get us together though.”

“I have something for you, (Y/n)...”

“Let me guess… is it another rubber duck?” I asked, my voice laden with sarcasm. Lucifer’s face turned red as he looked at me a shocked expression on his face before out of thin air, a small box appeared. Lucifer took it in his hands before handing it to me, “I-I’ve been working on them since I left you the first one… I hope you like them.” I smiled and took the lid off, my eyes widening with glee at the sight of the small family of ducks. Two adults, one a light yellow, the other a (H/c) colour with lashes painted around the eyes, with two baby ducks, one the same colour yellow as the adult, also with eyelashes, and the other a red colour. I giggled at the meaning behind the colours, the adult ducks supposed to represent me and Lucifer, and the two baby ones representing Charlie and Alianna, and hugged the blonde male in front of me, “I love them, thank you. I know exactly where these are going,” I spoke, pecking Lucifer on the cheek after leaning down to do so, whispering in his ear, “Short King.”

“I am not that short!”

“Hmmm. Compared to me, you are,” I smirked, “Now, who wants to rebuild this hotel?”

—------------------------------END OF ONESHOT

The ending was not how I imagined it, but at least it didn’t go over 2000 words… This was originally supposed to have more Alastor x Reader in too, but it didn’t fit with the plot I was going with.

#xreader #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel #lucifer x reader #lucifer morningstar

[ninapi]

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

- ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛ Family ❜┊˚ ̥۪͙۪◌

Premise: Raising someone else's child is one thing, but raising your own while dealing with your insecurities could be quite a task, especially for a man like Satoru, but the moment he saw the baby his life turned upside down.

Word Count: 3104

Note: This is the third installment for a short series of mine, they all have different titles because I'm weird like that lol, but you can read the first part here, and the second one here.

══✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°╞══✿══

When Satoru took Megumi in, he didn’t have to do much besides giving him financial support and make sure he had everything he needed as a growing child.

He was already the person he is to this day, and Saturu had very little to add to this. So when he realized what having his own baby was going to be, his already existing demons started to kick in.

While is normally the mother the one who tends to spiral into despair thinking of the future of their newborn and the changes impacting daily life, Satoru had more than one reason to feel uneasy.

He loved his girl and his unborn child, there was no doubt there; but the implications of being a parent were heavy for a man like him.

Dealing with the elders was one thing, but being a good dad was a very different one.

All he was good at was fighting curses, that’s what he came to this world to do, but having to think of how to be a good dad was definitely more scary than a special grade curse.

Megumi was way more ready than he was, in fact, without Megumi your pregnancy would have been quite the nightmare. But he was always checking up on you, helping you with tidying the apartment, even took you to the hospital check ups and went in the doctor’s office with you.

Some even thought he was your son, to Megumi’s displeasure. 

Satoru on the other hand tended to flee when things like this came upon, excuses were easy to come by when you’re the strongest sorcerer. But in reality he was beating himself over and over again for his own behavior while sitting on a cliff.

He wanted this, he wanted to be with you, wanted to have a family with you. Or so he thought at first, but what does it even mean to have a family? His was anything but conventional and he had no idea where to start.

You were his life now, he didn’t care about the future of this world if he was being honest, he never did really, all he wanted was to take you to a Polynesian island and live in a fancy luxury tree house with you, the baby and Megumi. But life wasn’t as easy, he had to deal not just with the damn old men hunting his every step, but also his responsibilities in the school, he couldn’t just disappear, not with another teacher and a top tier student tagging along.

He wanted to do better, be a good husband, a good dad, not just to his baby but to Megumi as well, he felt like he’s been failing everyone he truly cares for and that was a feeling like no other, one he could live his entire life without encountering it ever again.

But time for cowarding around ended sooner than he expected as time runs extremely fast when you don’t want to deal with your problems.

He got a call from Megumi, he was at the hospital, water came out of you and you were tugging on his hair while screaming in pain, you were certainly dying so he had to come fast. It all sounded like a nightmare to Satoru, he truly thought you were dying, he’s never seen a pregnant woman on the later stage of pregnancy deal with it, and Megumi either, so they were both panicking on a bench this very same moment.

“I can’t lose her, Megumi…what am I going to do if she dies? What if the baby dies too? What if I have to raise the baby on my own? I can’t do this…I would rather be killed by a curse…maybe I should turn off my infinity…yes, someone would come and kill me as well, then we would all die together…” a loud smack could be heard rumbling over every wall of the hospital. He’s never seen Megumi this angry before, “Can you stop and be a god damn adult for once in your life? (Y/N) needs you. She’s in labor right now, delivering your baby! She’s in so much pain, things are coming out of her, she’s probably so scared right now, and all you’re thinking about are ways of getting yourself killed!”

Satoru’s cheek was quickly getting red and swollen, how did he even manage to touch him that easily? 

Zenin’s are truly a terrifying clan.

“Why does nobody care about me being scared? I can be scared too you know? I know I’m the strongest sorcerer, but that doesn’t make me the strongest husband or the strongest dad…”

Megumi was left speechless, he never thought the great Gojo Satoru would admit being scared, “Do you think I’m not scared? I love her ok? She might be your girl, the mother of your child and what not, but she isn’t just a crush to me, she’s also the only mother figure I’ve had, the only person who truly understands me and cares for me. I don’t want her to die!” tears were falling down Megumi’s cheeks as he vented all his worries out of his very constricted chest. He’s the one who’s been by your side during your whole pregnancy, what if this was his fault? What if you were in so much pain because he didn’t take good care of you? Those words kept flooding his head and Satoru was just as lost as he was in that moment, he didn’t know how to reassure his adoptive son and was in need of reassurance himself.

That was until loud cries could be heard coming from the room you were being kept in.

“What was that-“

Megumi’s ears perked, he couldn’t hear you at all, why was it so loud, he needed to confirm you were fine. “I don’t know, who’s crying? That’s not her, I’m sure…”

“Of course is not her, you idiot…” the door opened up to a very tired looking nurse, her gown was covered in what looks like blood wiped out not long ago, Satoru’s face paling the moment he saw her.

“Is…I-Is (Y/N)…” his voice was cracking, all his memories with you going into his brain like a movie.

“She’s fine, she’s currently holding your son, would you like to go in? She’s asking for Megumi, I assume that’s you?” 

“No, that’s me! Can I go in too then?” the nurse was very confused but nodded anyways. Megumi ran inside the room, falling down to his knees when he saw you smiling, holding a little bundle to your chest, “Oh thank god….” 

“Gumi, my love, come meet your baby brother!” you looked so tired, yet so happy, he thought he’d never get to see your beautiful smile ever again.

“Are you ok? Is the pain gone?”

“She’s fine kid, giving birth is no easy fit, hope this experience helps you respect women for what their worth. Men would never be able to give birth, they’d die within minutes.” the nurse’s words made you chuckle, it was true after all, especially for your spoiled boys.

“Toru? I didn’t know you were here, I thought you were at work! Come meet your son~” Satoru was still by the door, he thought he’d lost you, the very same feeling he felt that one day you almost die in front of his eyes, just that this time felt even more real as he saw the dried blood on the nurse. He didn’t know how to react, relief was present that’s for sure, but he was also terrified, he was happy to hear you were fine, but you were holding his son right this moment. He had a son now, officially, he is a dad now.

“Babe?” the confused look in your face made him move from his spot, he couldn’t put more stress on you, not after you had to deal with all that just to bring his son to this world.

“So a boy, huh? I thought it’d be a girl…” Megumi really wanted the baby to be a girl, to look just like you so he could snuggle the baby’s cute cheeks and spoil her rotten.

“Mhm, I haven’t named him yet, I wanted Toru to see him first…” Satoru was now standing beside you, his eyes not going down just yet, though his range of vision was so wide, he could see a tiny hand moving out and about and it made it so hard for him to keep ignoring him.

Once he finally got the courage to look at his son, his brain released a triple shot of dopamine right to his heart.

How can a newborn be this cute? They’re usually all red and wrinkly, not at all pretty. But his son…he got his blue eyes and silvery hair, but his face, he looked just like you. The cutest thing he’s ever seen. “Is he…” the moment he opened his mouth the baby started wailing loudly, startling his father.

You were rocking the baby from side to side making him know everything was fine, “Sweetie, c’mon hold your son.” 

“But he’s crying (Y/N)! How do I make it stop?” you set the child in his arms, once their eyes met the baby stopped crying, a lil yawn leaving his lips, this causing Satoru to smile. “Oh, I think he’s just tired…aren’t you my beautiful son?”

“It’s a combined effort of both sides after all, he did have to help mama a lot during the birthing process.” The nurse was finally ready to leave you to rest and needed to take the child with her. “He needs to come with me, Gojo-san. But I need a name so I can set him in the room with the other newborns.”

“I was thinking of naming him Suguru…you know…to honor your frie-“

“No.”

“But baby…”

“I said no.” his stern tone of voice made your heart sink, you thought he’d be happy about this, it was some sort of a surprise even.

Megumi saw darkness loom over Satoru’s eyes and thought of intervening. “Shion.”

“What was that, love?” 

“Shion, my brother’s name I mean..” the fact that he referred to the baby as his brother made you feel so much love, even Satoru’s face softened at his words.

“Gojo Shion it is then.” the nurse took the baby from Satoru’s arm and he’s never felt this empty before. “Do you really need to take him? I mean he’s a newborn, is not like he needs friends right now. Wouldn’t it be better for him to hang out with his family than with other babies?” his reasoning was beyond cute, even to the stoic nurse. 

“Look sir, the child isn’t going to a baby party, he needs a check up and that’s the process in general. If everything goes out well you’ll be able to take them home in a couple of days. Now if you excuse me..” The baby was half asleep and his little hand was out of the blanket still and Satoru felt like his life lost all purpose, his son needed him so much right now, he needed to be tucked cozily under his blanket and there was nothing he could do to help him…he felt completely useless…

Megumi was cleaning your face with a wet towel, making sure your pillow was all fluffed properly, while Satoru spiraled into sadness.

“Can you get the blanket in her baby bag? There’s also some warm socks in the front pocket.” 

Satoru could feel Megumi’s murderous stare and that made him go back to earth, “Yeah sure. Socks…socks…here.” 

Megumi just stared at his hand with so much hate, yet he didn’t know what he did wrong this time. “What?”

“(Y/N)’s socks, not the baby’s socks…”

“Oh! Right…” he needed to get himself together, you needed him just as much as his son did.

“Here, my love.” he got your feet covered with your favorite fluffy socks, then leaned to kiss your head lovingly. Megumi covered you with the blanket he brought for you and went over the snacks he packed to replenish your strength.

“Isn’t he the most beautiful baby you’ve ever seen?” you sounded so tired, exhausted even, but to him you were the most wonderful and beautiful women in this universe. The mother of his son.

“Of course he is, he’s my son~” that made you chuckle. 

“We are parents now…how does that make you feel, Toru?” that question hunted him for months, but now he was ready to answer it truthfully. “I’m scared…I don’t know if I can be a good dad…But I’m also the happiest man alive…you’ve given me so much…I want to be the man you and my son need me to be…” his face wasn’t one of happiness, it was more one of realization. 

He felt so much…it was overwhelming. 

But the moment he locked eyes with his son, he just knew it, this was it, this was the real reason he came to this world, to bring his son to life, to give you and his son a happy life full of beautiful memories.

“Gojo-sensei…I think she needs rest…” you were giving him a soft loving smile, your thumb rubbing the back of his hand while he processed what just happened. 

“I’ll stay here, you go back to the school.” he wasn’t there for you when you needed him most, when you were confused and in pain, when you needed his love and care. But he was here now, and he wouldn’t let that happen again. 

He grabbed one of the chairs by the wall and brought it next to your bed, his hand reaching for yours once more before dimming the lights, “I’ll stay here with you, baby. Just rest.”

Megumi left after making sure you had everything you needed with the promise of coming back next morning with a fresh change of clothing for his guardian.

══✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°╞══✿══

Having a newborn baby in the house was a whole adventure, at least according to Satoru.

He had to learn everything about babies in a couple of days and lets just say books aren’t as reliable in the subject.

Babies cry a lot and figuring out what the problem was isn’t as easy as he had hoped for.

Not only that but your nipples were sore from breastfeeding causing you to frown all day, Megumi was in a bad mood because the baby didn’t let him sleep at night and he ended up stepping on a dirty diaper this morning, twice, barefoot.

While to others this might sound awful, Satoru was living his best life.

His son was just as in love with him as he was and he was livid. Putting him to bed was his self assigned job and his favorite part of the day. He’d go on talking forever explaining how his technique works and all he had to do to perfect it, of course his son didn’t understand a thing, but his voice really soothed the child so they both loved their bonding time.

Megumi would sneak in your room and sleep while hugging one of your legs while Satoru took the child out to get some sunlight in, even if he denied it, he was very much jealous of his baby brother, he just didn’t get as much time with you as before and he had no excuses to be babied like the infant was now. He wanted more and didn’t know how to ask for it, so even if you and Satoru were aware of his sneaky nap times, you both appeared ignorant to the teen.

Being a mother suited you so beautifully though, there was nothing Satoru loved more than seeing you with his son in your arms. The way your loving eyes landed on his little face, the kissy sounds you made at him to make him giggle, it was all just so perfect to him.

And being a father suited him just as much. The baby carrier he had hanging from his chest daily and the way he would always hold one of his tiny feet in one of his hands as he walked by proudly was the cutest thing this world had to offer. 

He was a happy man.

Of course, him parading around with his child made the elders realize what was going on pretty fast.

Thankfully the child didn’t display any sign of inheriting infinity, at least not yet, something he had shown almost since birth, which made them back off quite fast with the promise of him trying to conceive further children with you.

Of course, he didn’t want this. Not because he didn’t want more babies, but because it terrified him knowing one of them could very well have it and be taken away from you. The thought of his son being exploited the way he was as a child was a constant nightmare for him.

But reality plays dirty tricks on you when you least expect them..

You being such a cute mama and having those swollen breasts full of milk caused…unexpected results…getting you pregnant once more before Shion even turned four months of age.

For someone who didn’t understand the concept of family, he was quite good at making one.

His first family member being the lovely teenage boy who loved the mother of his children more than anything in this world, more than him to be quite honest. But he regretted nothing, Megumi was as important in this family as little Shion was and the little baby girl inside your growing belly.

The family kept growing at an exponential rate, and this world was anything but safe. But having the strongest sorcerer by your side did help quite a lot, specially now that he’d gotten the titles of strongest dad and strongest husband to the list as he very much wished and thought never would.

His family was not conventional, it was broken even, starting with him.

But it was perfect the way it was.

He chose his own family after all.

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

Masterlist

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu gojo #jujutsu sorcerer #jujutsu fanfic #fluff #gojo satoru #gojo fluff #gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojou satoru x reader #gojo x y/n #jjk gojo #jjk #jjk fluff #jujutsu x reader #jjk x reader #jjk x you #daddy gojo

[sorcererofsolitude]

Enid catches Wednesday watching reality TV on her tablet, specifically Keeping up with the Kardashians. Enid is stunned.

Enid, approaching slowly and putting her hand on Wednesday's forehead: Uh... Wens? You feeling okay?

Wednesday: Perfectly amicable. Why?

Enid, still very confused: I didn't think this show would be your cup of tea, that's all.

Wednesday: It is the work of genius, I must admit I am remiss not to have thought of it myself.

Enid, still convinced her girlfriend is unwell: Are you being serious?

Wednesday: Deadly. The subjects depicted here have clearly sold their soul in exchange for wealth and fame. The amusing thing about contracts with demons is that there is always an unpleasant twist. I assume the one depicted here is loss of critical thinking skills and an endless loop of dramatic familial caterwauling. What a wonderfully horrific idea to capture it on film. Perhaps I misjudged your taste in entertainment, mon tout.

Enid: Wens, that's not-... actually, you're right. Totally a show about torture and demons. Can I watch with you? I'll make popcorn!

Wednesday: As long as you burn mine.

Enid, unable to believe her luck: Deal!

Enid laid snuggled up to her girlfriend, watching the very first piece of media together that they both actually enjoy.

AO3: SorcererOfSolitude

#netflix wednesday #wednesday #wednsday addams #enid sinclair #enid x wednesday #wenclair #incorrect quotes #incorrect wednesday quotes #lesbian #lgbtq #incorrect wednesday addams #wednesday addams

[theemissuniverse]

NOOB SAIBOT AND GODDESS!READER INTERACTIONS

SUMMARY : You are the daughter of Quan Chi. You possess great black magic and are half human/half demon. You are also the Goddess of the dead. Noob Saibot is into you

WARNINGS : None really. Just slightly suggestive

(Y/N) VS (Y/N)

#1 (Y/N) : Does dark Bi-Han also yearn for you in your timeline?

#2 (Y/N) : Yearn? He is my consort

#1 (Y/N) : Well there’s something

#2 (Y/N) : Noob is very fond of us

#1 (Y/N) : More like obsessed

#2 (Y/N) : I like it

NOOB SAIBOT VS NOOB SAIBOT

#1 NOOB SAIBOT : I like to serve my Goddess

#2 NOOB SAIBOT : As do I

#1 NOOB SAIBOT : We will serve her well

#1 NOOB SAIBOT : (Y/N) is mine

#2 NOOB SAIBOT : You are too weak for my Goddess

#1 NOOB SAIBOT : I will show you who’s weak

NOOB SAIBOT VS (Y/N)

NOOB SAIBOT : Your father resurrected me

(Y/N) : That he did

NOOB SAIBOT : Then I am indebted to you

(Y/N) : I like this version of you better

NOOB SAIBOT : We also like it too

(Y/N) : Okay, don’t go full Ermac on me

NOOB SAIBOT : The darkness yearns for your touch

(Y/N) : What makes you believe you are worthy of it?

NOOB SAIBOT : I will prove it to you

NOOB SAIBOT : I live to serve you, my Goddess

(Y/N) : Serve me if you must but I am not looking for worship

NOOB SAIBOT : What are you looking for then?

NOOB SAIBOT : Quan Chi was weak. He could not handle the enemies that came at him

(Y/N) : You don’t believe me to be as weak?

NOOB SAIBOT : Not at all, my Goddess

NOOB SAIBOT : You entertain Johnny Cage’s advances?

(Y/N) : Is that a problem?

NOOB SAIBOT : I will bring him down under

(Y/N) : I am looking for a man that can please me

NOOB SAIBOT : I can please you in all ways

(Y/N) : Oh?

NOOB SAIBOT : You did not like me in my last life?

(Y/N) : Not that. You just didn’t have enough darkness

NOOB SAIBOT : So I am perfect for you now?

(Y/N) : You are still Bi-Han at the end of the day

NOOB SAIBOT : The man you think of is dead

(Y/N) : Don’t look so dead to me

(Y/N) : What do you desire, shadow?

NOOB SAIBOT : To be your consort

(Y/N) : Hmm. I will think of it

NOOB SAIBOT : I would do anything for you, my Goddess

(Y/N) : Anything?

NOOB SAIBOT : Anything.

NOOB SAIBOT : No other man is worthy of you

(Y/N) : And what makes you say that?

NOOB SAIBOT : I can give you all you desire. They cannot

NOOB SAIBOT : Shang Tsung was weak. He could not handle a woman like you

(Y/N) : And you can?

NOOB SAIBOT : More than you know

NOOB SAIBOT : Death seeks your embrace

(Y/N) : And you shall have it

NOOB SAIBOT : That is all I desire

NOOB SAIBOT : The only one I yearn for is you

(Y/N) : Prove it

NOOB SAIBOT : I will, my goddess

(Y/N) : Your brother is getting in the way of our plans

NOOB SAIBOT : I will deal with him

(Y/N) : Make sure it’s a slow and painful death

(Y/N) : Scorpion has disrespected me for the last time

NOOB SAIBOT : He will not live to see another day

(Y/N) : Thank you, my one and only

(Y/N) : I have never had a being worship me

NOOB SAIBOT : I will do anything for you

(Y/N) : Maybe you are worthy

(Y/N) : You wish to be my consort?

NOOB SAIBOT : That is all I ask of you

(Y/N) : Your wish is granted

NOOB SAIBOT : I have never seen anything more beautiful

(Y/N) : Are you sure, my shadow?

NOOB SAIBOT : Positive

(Y/N) : Shao Kahn believes you are my concubine

NOOB SAIBOT : I would not mind that

(Y/N) : *laughs* I didn’t know you could be so dirty

JOHNNY CAGE VS (Y/N)

JOHNNY CAGE : Still banging scary shadow dude

(Y/N) : Why are you so concerned?

JOHNNY CAGE : Just trying to see if I could have a shot

JOHNNY CAGE VS NOOB SAIBOT

NOOB SAIBOT : You are not worthy of my goddess

JOHNNY CAGE : And what makes you qualified?

NOOB SAIBOT : I am the darkness she yearns for

SHANG TSUNG VS (Y/N)

SHANG TSUNG ; You’ve downgraded

(Y/N) : I will have my love bring you into death

SHANG TSUNG : I’d like to see him try

SHANG TSUNG VS NOOB SAIBOT

NOOB SAIBOT : You left (Y/N) when she was at her lowest

SHANG TSUNG : Go back to death, shadow

NOOB SAIBOT : For that - your soul will be mine

SUB-ZERO VS (Y/N)

SUB-ZERO : My brother is fond of you

(Y/N) : He is not your brother anymore

SUB-ZERO ; To get to him, I must get to you

SUB-ZERO VS NOOB SAIBOT

NOOB SAIBOT : You capture my goddess?

SUB-ZERO : Come get her

NOOB SAIBOT ; You have made a grave mistake

SCORPION VS (Y/N)

(Y/N) : You killed my lover

SCORPION : I am not the Scorpion you seek

(Y/N) : That’s what they all say

SCORPION VS NOOB SAIBOT

NOOB SAIBOT : My goddess will be pleased to have your soul

SCORPION : She will not get me

NOOB SAIBOT : Think again

#mortal kombat #mortal kombat x reader #liu kang #mortal kombat 1 #kitana #kung lao #mileena #raiden #johnny cage #noob saibot #noob saibot x reader #shang tsung #shao kahn #mk scorpion #sub zero #mk #mk11

[silverskye13]

So, the thing about being damseled, Welsknight is rapidly realizing, is you don't really have to be a damsel to do it. Or have it done to you, that is. Being damseled isn't really a gender thing, like all the old knights tales would have him believe. He doesn't have to have long blonde hair, or a princess dress. He doesn't have to make deals with obscure fae gods or spirits, doesn't have to know how to weave golden thread. Heck, he doesn't even have to be locked in a tower. Damseling -- that is, the state of being a damsel in distress -- is a much broader scoped state of being. It's not so much a trope or a role, and more of... An essence. A vibe. If one can be trapped and helpless and in need of a knight in shining armor to save the day, one can in fact be damseled just fine without any of the key fairytale hallmarks.

How does Welsknight know all this? Well, because he's managed to damsel himself, of course.

Welsknight is trapped. He should have known better. Well? Should he have known better? Eh. Even if he should have, he definitely shouldn't have expected to. He's new to Vault Hunting.

Iskall and Stress made it sound so easy. Yeah! Just go find a vault, gear up, don't be afraid to run for your life. Nothing can go wrong if you're careful. Beware the curses and traps and tripwires. Don't eat anything growing on the walls. Fight. Survive. Win! They do it all the time, with their adventuring teams and alone. Whatever suits their fancy. Just don't anger the gods and do run screaming if something way beyond your skill level wanders into the room. Cowardice? Nonsense! Vaults aren't duels, they're thrills. Thrills that sometimes glean cool treasure, and treasure, while awesome, can't challenge your honor and isn't worth your life. So go, kill some monsters, have fun, run when you need to. It's low-high stakes, choose your own adventuring at its finest!

And Wels is a knight errant, alright? He's slain dragons. And withers. And, yes, rescued a few damsels. He's good at what he does. So when he and Iskall went for some drinks at a local tavern, and Welsknight whined that he was getting bored of escorting mining parties and killing oversized lizards for neglectful nobles, well, Iskall had smiled and pointed him to the Vaultlands. And Welsknight, bored and stupid in his boredom, had decided raiding vaults was a great idea.

"If I get out of this," Welsknight vows in his most solemn, oath-binding knight's voice, "I am going to punch Iskall right in his grinning, stupid face."

He is barricading a door with anything he can find, all while the screams and shrieks of some persistent undead challenge his fervor from the other side. The undead here are different than they are outside the Vaults. The slow, lumbering, hollow things that amble blindly around deep caves and unstable mines don't hold a candle to these creatures. These are malevolent undead, things that seem to hate Welsknight personally, inhabited by the dreams of sleeping gods that were, probably, sealed in these Vaults for a freaking reason. He's pretty sure one of them is jibbering with the voice of his dead brother, which is, honestly, demonic scales of unfairness. And he would know demonic unfairness. Welsknight has fought exactly one demon, and while he certainly isn't an expert, he knows more about how much they cheat and torment than he had ever wanted to know. And anyway, how is he supposed to kill that kind of malevolence in the undead? He's not! For heaven's sake, he's faced fae with less personal malevolence, and the fae court is the most petty place on earth!

Welsknight kicks his barricade with an armored boot, making sure it'll hold. The stack of pilfered detritus shakes but stands firm. Somewhere in that lot is his broken sword, barring the door shut. The blade shattered in four pieces when he was tackled by some wight-creature, not because the creature was that strong, but because he'd just used it to fight some sort of corrosive slime, and really, the fact that living acid slime exists in the Vaults is unfair, and something Iskall really should've warned him about. At least it hadn't gotten on his armor.

Welsknight backs away from the barred door, listening to the angry screams of what lay beyond it. There's a lot of name-calling going on. "Come to your death, coward!" And "Brother please! Help me! Don't let it take me!" And "Sleep with us forever knight! Aren't you tired?" Screech and groan through the air as though the door and barricade aren't there to muffle it. There's hysterical cackling as well, which is kind of typical. He can't tell if the loudness of the noise is supernatural, or if it means there's another entrance to the room he hasn't noticed yet. As unsettling as the supernatural option is, he kind of prefers that right now. Weaponless and exhausted, he's not sure how well he'll manage if the undead just start pouring in from a side door somewhere.

Welsknight blinks, and belatedly realizes he's blinking back tears. His hands shake as he wipes them away. Yeah, okay, maybe the screaming-with-the-voice-of-his-dead-brother thing was getting to him more than he thought it would. He's a knight, not an iron golem. He still has feelings. He tries to be detached and gentle about it. He knows what fear is. The first time he fought a dragon, he cried. He cried a lot, actually. After it was dead he lay on the ground sobbing for a good hour, which had been terribly inconvenient at the time, since it had broken one of his ribs. Terror kind of just, does that to him -- makes him cry. He learned a long time ago not to be ashamed of it, no matter how badly timed it could be.

"Right," Welsknight croaks into the room around him. "Cry about it later. Escape now."

It's not a big room that he's trapped himself in. It has the trappings of an ancient hall, with some newness to it, indicating he isn't the first adventurer to stumble in here. Rotting boxes and chests are tumbled against a collapsed wall, the smell of damp rot wafting off them. One has candles and two plates on it, someone's makeshift dining set up, and there's the scorched remains of a campfire. It looks pathetic compared to the massive columns and reliefs it sits beneath. Maybe this place was a temple? It sure seems kind of temple-y, but Welsknight has yet to encounter an altar to any Vault Gods -- which is probably good. Iskall had mentioned those were guarded by scary creatures, and if "malevolent undead who steal the voices of your loved ones from your memories to torment you while they devour your flesh" hadn't registered on Iskall's "scary creatures to warn Wels about" index, he really, really doesn't want to know what insane creatures might guard the altar chambers of the Vault Gods.

"Probably like, undulating tentacle demons with acid breath," Welsknight mutters out loud as he meanders the chamber, searching for something useful. "Or maybe the Gods themselves just come down and use you as a hackey sack until you prove your worth or die. That sounds about right."

The cold stone walls make no comment, which is probably for the best, since given current trends, they would probably talk back with the voice of his disapproving parents, or maybe the old knight he'd been squired to, which would really start straining his already stressed out psyche right about now.

He can still hear his brother's voice calling to him through the door.

For as impressive as the room is, there really isn't much in here of use. The boxes from the old expedition have let the moisture in the room in. There's old, indecipherable food inside that is now mostly black sludge. The candles might be useful if he had anything resembling a tinderbox to light them with. Everything else in here is far older, and mostly carved stone too heavy to pilfer. This place has obviously been picked over before. No relics are on the walls. The one chest he finds that is (probably) older than the boxes contains only a single glorious cobweb as a prize. Welsknight has just about submitted to his fate to die in obscurity in a random Vault somewhere, when he encounters a corpse. It is not reanimated dead, though he does give it a few good kicks to make sure it doesn't feel like crawling to life and talking with ominous voices.

"Well, at least the ambient necromancy going on in here has limits," Welsknight sighs, squatting down on the balls of his feet to pick the corpse over. "Well, friend, I don't suppose you've got anything helpful on you?"

Their chainmail is rusted, their features, save for a few whisps of black-brown hair, are decayed away. He manages to find a coin purse with some woefully old looking coins -- so the chances of some other adventuring party stumbling to his rescue are quite small then. He picks up a shield from them that, though dry rotted, looks like it could block one or two more hits before giving up the ghost. On their back is a scabbard so rusted, it looks like the sword might be fused inside. Welsknight grimaces, then shrugs and concedes that even a brittle sword is better than none. Still, it doesn't make prying the sword belt off the old bones any more pleasant. There's a lot of brittle cracking, and a lot of wincing on Welsknight's part, before he finally manages to get it free.

"Sorry friend, but I think I need this a little more than you do."

The skull rocks a bit on the floor as it settles, but otherwise doesn't seem to care. The sockets aren't even facing his direction. Welsknight takes that as his sign that he isn't horribly cursed... Or at least no more so than when he first got trapped in here. Welsknight rubs at the blade, trying to see how much of the rust is superficial. A bit chips off beneath his fingernail, revealing bright silver beneath.

"A silver scabbard?" Welsknight raised his eyebrows at the corpse, "Well, weren't you a glamorous fellow?"

Welsknight grimaces and, taking ahold of the hilt, draws the sword. It pulls a lot easier than he thought it would. The rust holds it for a moment, and then smoothly releases, revealing bright steel underneath. The sword unsheathes with a ringing hiss.

"--ON'T SHEATH THE SWORD YOU IDIOT!"

The scream is right by his ear. Welsknight lets out a startled yelp and turns to face the voice, tripping over his feet and landing in an inglorious heap on the floor.

Standing in front of him is a knight garbed in black armor, a fiery plume rippling from his helm. His back is facing Welsknight, and he stands with his shoulders hunched, one arm reaching forward like he's trying to stop someone. The knight takes a step back, surprised, then rocks on his heels.

"Oh." He says, then looks down at the skeleton by his feet. "Oh."

He stares at the skeleton for a long moment, shrugs, and then gives the skull a hard kick, sending it clattering off across the room. "Serves you right, you asshole!"

Welsknight is crying again. He can't help it. He's scared and overwhelmed, and this knight is so, so terribly familiar. From the armor to the way he stands, to his voice. And when the knight turns to face him finally, the face is familiar too.

"Hels?" Welsknight whispers.

Helsknight, his definitely-dead brother, looks down at him with uncomprehending eyes. Then he scowls, "Nope. Sorry."

"I-- but--"

"I am the Spirit of the Sword," Helsknight cuts him off, rolling his eyes petulantly. "I serve the wielder of my blade, loyal in death, as I wasn't in -- blablabla. I take the form of the protector, the guardian, the comforting, and yes, I'm used to the whole "oh you look just like my dead loved one" thing. So let's skip the unnecessary angst, okay?"

A particularly loud shriek from the ghouls outside echoes shrilly through the room before Welsknight can even attempt to gather his response. Helsknight spins to face the barred door and takes a threatening step towards it.

"Oh would you SHUT UP? We're in the middle of something!"

The sounds behind the door fall abruptly silent. Welsknight stares in bafflement, feeling just confused enough to stop crying. The Spirit Of The Sword That Looks Just Like His Dead Brother offers a hand to him.

"Come on, get up." He says as he pulls Welsknight to his feet roughly, and then gives him a long, appraising look. "Well, you look like you might know how to swing my sword, so there's something at least."

"I'm-- I'm a knight errant," Welsknight tells him, trying to recover some of his senses. "What-- are you another trick of this terrible place?" Anger starts to bubble underneath everything else he's feeling, and his fists clench. "I'm tired of the stupid mind games and the trickery, and everything screaming like Hels and---!"

Helsknight holds up his hands, looking something between annoyed and appeasing. "Aye, yes, I understand. My last wielder did die in this Vault. No I'm not a demon, or an evil spirit -- unless you intend to use my sword for evil, in which case, I'm evil by proxy." Helsknight ushered to himself. "The enchantment in the blade turns me into something you're familiar with. Whoever I am, I don't have his memories or his mannerisms--" his lip curls in something like disgust as he adjusts his breastplate, "--or his taste in armor. Really, what's wrong with some nice high mobility chainmail? Or leather? Leather is amazing! It's quiet and doesn't feel like I'm carrying a whole damn armory around."

Welsknight screwed his eyes shut and breathed. Alright. Alright. He's okay. He can deal with this. He can-- well at least he can ignore the specter of his brother following him around for as long as it takes to get out of this Vault. But when he gets out ohhh, oh Iskall owes him six pints at the nearest tavern and a damn good explanation.

"Sword Spirit," Welsknight asks after another set of calming breaths, "can you fight?"

Helsknight looks down at his hip where a sword is sheathed. He draws it, tests its weight and shrugs. "I'd be a poor sword spirit if I couldn't."

"Alright then," Welsknight picks up the magical sword from where he'd dropped it and walks towards the barred door. "Let's get out of here, then."

Well, there is one good thing about being damseled at least, Welsknight thinks bitterly as Helsknight begins moving the debris. Someone always sends you a knight in shining armor.

#the barking writer #welsknight #helsknight #swordheart au #sorry i couldnt resist this has been rotating in the back of my head ever since i read swordheart #hermitcraft fic #vault hunters fic #i know nothing about vault hunters except for like 10 eps of Iskalls singleplayer season 1 lets play please forgive me vh fans #helsmits

[alexthetrashyracoon]

CW//GuardianAngel!Reader x Demonlord!Ghost, Manipulation

“I can save him. All you have to do is give yourself over to me.” The masked man said, no, you quickly realized.

He wasn’t just a man. A simple man doesn’t have the power he has.

Manipulation of time was something a simple human wasn’t able to do.

He has to be a demon.

You weren’t sure though how strong the man was, too young of an angel and to inexperienced in understanding power levels of demons, you just know they were all as dangerous and charming as they came but he has to be strong with his abilities.

Time stood still between you two, for the whole world actually, not that humanity would realize what powers were at play in that moment.

“Tick Tack, little angel, decide now or watch your little human die a very painful death.” The demon taunted, running sharp clawed fingers over your arm.

Your human, the one you were supposed to be guarding, was walking onto the street and a car driver was about to hit him, ending his short life instantly.

“Can you?” You ask, fists clenching into the your robe, watching the human who was slowed in place, one foot already on the street, the other in the air, ready to step further onto the street, eyes on the phone, reading a message from his girlfriend that was telling him she had cheated on him with his brother. “Can you save him?”

“Only one way to find out, don’t you think, little angel?” The Demon purrs and you know it’s a trap but what kind of guardian angel would you be if you let your human die the first chance.

“Okay. Okay! But please, please save him! He’s too young to die just yet!” You plead and finally look at the Demon who grins under his skull mask.

It covers most of his face, aside from his blue eyes that remind you of the eternal sea up in the sky where you and your angel friends used to hang out after your training. You can clearly see his mouth and jaw, lips chapped and roughly looking and teeth sharp enough to easily rip through armor you think.

This demon isn’t a simple foot soldier, you realize when you see time moving again, heart racing in your chest as you await for the crash to happen but nothing. The car sways out of the way and your human stumbles backwards onto his ass on the sidewalk.

Time continues to move on, everything was back to normal it seems.

“Now, little angel. Tell me you’re mine for all eternity. Tell me who you now belong to. Say my name.” The demon smiles as he steps up behind you, holding you in place from escaping and breaking the deal.

And for one reason or another you know his name, even if the Demon never told it to you.

“I am yours, Ghost.” 

And the next time you open your eyes, the cool breeze of the sky is just a distant memory when you stand amidst fields molten fire and listening to the screams of the damned.

#simon ghost riley x you #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley #simon ghost riley #cod x gn!reader #simon riley x you #ghost x you #cod x you #cod mw2 #cod mwii #ghost mw2 #alex writes