#I definitely made more gifs this year than I did in 2022

[twig-tea]

With 23.5 finally coming out, the people are rejoicing at finally getting a high profile gl from GMMTV. But there have already been several gls airing this year, including my fav TsukuTabe, that have been flying under the radar with fandom, and in general there are more gls already out there than folks seem to think. I just know you have a list of all the gls we should be watching, please share with the class!

Thank you for the ask! How did you know I had a draft of GL recs to make at some point? [Trick question, I mentioned it to you.]

It may seem like I'm out here hating on GL because i've made a couple of negative reviews of recently airing series recently (Love Senior and Chaser Game W in case you're curious) but I actually have lots of GL that I love and that I wish were better known! Thanks for sending this ask so I am inspired to actually finish it! I've limited myself to series so that I could keep the list and this post to a reasonable length. Where possible I've listed where you can find each of these and included a link. And I've included an 'elevator pitch' summary but I am NOT in marketing for a reason, so please don't roast me too hard for my terrible comparisons. Alright, enough waffling!

Twig's GL Rec List

She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat S1 & 2 (Japan, 2022 & 2024, both seasons fansubbed by @furritsubs; if you need help accessing this show feel free to DM me!)

Elevator pitch: Our Dining Table with lesbians and an even slower burn. Watch for beautiful food, acespec rep, mental health and therapy rep

What might turn some off: Extremely low heat, and quite slow-moving; warning for a disordered eating and family trauma plot (v gently handled)

Let's start with the one you've already mentioned. This is a heartwarming slice-of-life slow burn in which an autismspec-coded woman who likes to eat is invited by her neighbour, a femme acespec woman who loves to cook, to come and eat her food. It starts from a very practical place (when you love making food you need someone to help eat it), but their relationship grows as they spend more time together. The story follows them as they both move towards self-actualization in several ways: as a lesbian, as asexual, at work, with their families, with their friends, with each other. This show is so careful to say the important words aloud. And there is so much delicious cooking! Each episode highlights a particular recipe, and the food porn is real. Do not watch while hungry, but definitely watch. The found famiy vibes in this one one are also immaculate.

She Makes My Heart Flutter (Korea, 2022, YouTube)

Elevator pitch: Younger lesbian friend group tries to help out (slightly) older lesbian bar owner with mixed success. I can't think of a good BL equivalent, The Moment Since feels the closest with its similar bartender/patron romance

What might turn some off: Comedic tone; short runtime; struggles with being closeted

This is a gem of a miniseries about a bar owner and an interior designer who smoulder at one another while an intrepid group of younger bar regulars (including the bar owner's neice) meddle. This series is really cute, solid, and full of sapphics! Once again found family vibes are immaculate (you may sense a theme in my faves). Run don't walk.

Fragrance of the First Flower (Taiwan, 2021, GagaOOLala)

Elevator pitch: Right-person-wrong-time/second chance romance; tonally is a little like We Best Love 2: Fighting Mr. 2nd but with an ambiguous ending.

What might turn you off: Medium heat, second chance romance means they break up once, internalized homophobia, adultery/cheating, at one point there's a creepy dude, child with autism (depicted well), ambiguous ending

At its core this is a story of a woman who can't stop getting in the way of her own happiness. This series is a little more sad than the rest of this rec list but I couldn't not include it because this relationship is so poignant. Plus there's a s2 that supposedly is to come out in 2024 so maybe we'll get our happy ending after all?

Love Greater Than or Equal to 70 Degrees C (Korea, 2019, YouTube)

Elevator pitch: Ingredients but with lesbians staring at one another over beautiful tea pairings! What more could you ask for?

What might turn you off: Low heat; short runtime; ambiguous ending; like Ingredients this is essentially a long ad for the café it's filmed at.

This is a Korean miniseries about passionate tea sommeliers making really fancy tea while staring at one another a LOT. Perfect sapphic representation, 10/10 no notes. This one packs a lot of the drama tropes into its short runtime, so even though it's short it's full of butterfly-inspiring moments.

Sleep With Me (Philippines, 2022, GagaOOLala/iWantTFC/Netflix w/VPN set to Philippines)

Elevator pitch: The Truth About Cats and Dogs but the self esteem issues are handled without catfishing. BL equivalent: Hmmm. Closest I can think of is Gaya Sa Pelikula.

What might turn you off: There's some ableism (treated as such) in this show; Open ending.

Stellar GL between a late night radio DJ and an insomniac who listens to her show. One of the main couple is a wheelchair user and the show tackles ablelism and navigating disability in relationship as well as feelings of inadequacy in a relationship and how that manifests as interpersonal conflict.

Our Relationship Ended Before it Began (Korea, 2022, YouTube)

Elevator Pitch: Along the lines of I Cannot Reach You; the show gives both perspectives and they are held back by queer angst.

What might turn you off: No kiss (but they make it very clear both want to kiss), internalized homophobia

Really sweet miniseries about having a crush and being afraid of being hurt so you don't actually make a move. I really like the way the girl who has not dated a girl before defaults to gender roles and it throws the more experienced lesbian lol I also really like the way this show makes clear that both of them are waiting for a kiss, and that if you get in your head about things, it can get in the way of your own happiness!

Pearl Next Door (Philippines, 2020, Youtube)

Elevator Pitch: Gameboys but with lesbian vloggers.

What might turn you off: Love triangle, lots of teasing but low heat in the end, a lot of (good) conversations about mental health issues, ambiguous ending

This is the GL spinoff to Gameboys, starring Pearl from Gameboys. Pearl ends up being fought over by the two gorgeous women in the gif, an old love and a new. I love the queer friendships in this story as much as the relationships. I will say it's an open ending (that felt a bit like the showrunners didn't want to decide between ships) and definitely the love triangle features prominently but even in the face of these aspects that would normally turn me off a series I had a good time. The characters and interpersonal conflicts feel very real, and are allowed to be complex even when the show tone is comedic.

Dear Uranus (Taiwan, 2021, YouTube)

Elevator Pitch: Schoolgirl ensemble GL; a little like My School President but without the singing.

What might turn you off: Short runtime; ambiguous ending; a little bit of bullying; very standard romance trope execution

The first Taiwanese GL miniseries, this series was produced by a Taiwanese lesbian couple (Rabbit & Wolf)! Lots of excellent drama tropes, and incredibly gorgeous women (I think the entire watching audience fell in love with Erol.

Lily Fever (Korea, 2015, YouTube)

Elevator pitch: Complete crack; YYY but with more kissing and frankly an even less coherent story.

What might turn you off: The lack of coherent plot; less a romance and more a very thirsty lesbian kissing everyone she can

This miniseries is utter chaos. Nothing really makes sense, it's all just random excuses to cause very suggestive moments (and kissing) to happen. I love so much how this series depicts women being so absolutely thirsty for one another (and yes that date isn't a typo, this series is ~9 years old). Not an "happy ever after" ending but it really isn't that kind of story.

Chasing Sunsets (Philippines, 2020, YouTube)

Elevator pitch: Ocean Likes Me with lesbians. Resort romance with a mental health twist.

What might turn you off: Some of the mental health stuff gets intense, this was filmed in 2020 so the pandemic features heavily; hopeful but slightly ambiguous ending.

A complex story from the Philippines covering mental health and finding yourself. A woman shows up to a resort and befriends one of the women running the resort. They get closer as they spend time together, and the resort owner realizes something is off. There's also a BL side couple in this series.

Show Me Love (Thai, 2023, YouTube)

Elevator pitch: A little like My Day the series with lesbians, in that they work together and fall in love and it's full of tropes

What might turn you off: The advertising for the Miss Grand competition, there is some bullying and cheating (though way less than I was expecting tbh), not a lot actually happens, the editing gets a bit wonky at the end

This is essentially a massive ad for the Miss Grand Thailand competition; this GL was produced by the same company that produces that competition, and the stars are mostly Miss Grand competitors. The main pairing were shipped in the actual competition, and the company decided to make a GL about them. It's very slow paced and low-stakes, and there are better kisses than I expected considering everything I just said about where this show came from. There are a lot of cute moments!

Girlfriend Project (Korea, 2022, YouTube)

Elevator Pitch: Love Class with lesbians

What might turn you off: One of the leads is kind of mean in that pgitail-pulling way? It ends abruptly (but happily)

This is a short miniseries about two girls paired in a class that are assigned to "date". The chemistry is chemistrying. And there is a kiss (a good kiss, and a tiptoes kiss at that!). This show also has one of my favourite tropes, in which someone who seems like a pushover stands up for themselves and their partner finds it very attractive. For the record, in this show they are watching another GL by the same company, Love Tech.

Lulu (Philippines, 2022, Vivamax/grey)

Elevator Pitch: Present Perfect with lesbians (but with a better ending).

What might turn you off: Depictions of panic attacks, brief depiction of drowning, pandemic lockdowns, illness, exes, waffling, happy but open ending (which I actually liked for this story)

Two women trying to move on from the garbage in their lives meet at the beach of a B&B (where one saves the other from drowning) and become one another's company during their escape and then something more. They both have baggage that seems determined to keep them apart even as they continue to be drawn together. In the end, they decide to stick it out and see where they end up, with no guarantee of happily ever after, which I found very sweet. Requires either a VivaMax account or searching the grey for it, but it's worth the effort (check MyDramaList comments for suggestions on where to find it). Plus one of the leads has a cactus as a pet.

Welcome to the Lesbian Bar (Korea, 2023, YouTube)

Elevator Pitch: A little like Fudanshi Bartender but without the fudanshi bartender and all of the bar patrons are lesbians lol

What might turn you off: Short, can get a little bit preachy, abrupt ending

Cute short series with different very stories every episode as different patrons visit the bar. The stories range from women who have been together for awhile, to people meeting from an online app for the first time, to someone visiting a lesbian bar for the first time; and yet the story all weaves together in a way that's satisfying though ends abruptly. Includes some solid marriage equality propaganda.

GAP the Series (Thai, 2022, YouTube)

Elevator Pitch: Kind of the vibes of Together with Me but lesbians and in an office instead of school. Angry boss falls for charming new intern and

What might turn you off: This one is the highest heat of all these recs; homophobia especially amongst family, brief depictions of death by car, brief mentions of suicide, cheating, bullying, abuse of power in the office.

A list would not be complete without this one! Honestly the plot is a bit wobbly but the show is a lot of fun. The girls are very cute, the feelings and tension builds really well between them, the friend group is excellent, and in the special we get a wedding.

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The rest of these have caveats of one kind or another, but i couldn't leave them off a rec list, so here are the side couples and censored stories that are still worth your time anyway (I might do a separate more detailed post for these, as well as for films, one day if there's interest):

Nevertheless (GL side; Korean, 2021, Netflix) Not sure it's worth watching a whole kdrama for side lesbians? Search soljiwan on youtube. They are great. Even the Netflix account stans them. I watched this (ngl, I watched the SolJiwan cut) as it aired and was constantly braced for it to let us down but it did not! A really good friends-to-lovers story.

Friend Zone 2: Dangerous Area (GL side; Thailand, 2019, YouTube): These sapphics are messy and I love them. Decent conversation about dating someone with mental health issues in this series, and they're one of the only couples in this ensemble to get a happy ending. If you're just watching the lesbian couple (which you can, their story is pretty self-contained) you don't need to have seen s1.

Six Survivors (GL side; Japan, 2022, Viki) This show is a horror comedy and it is SO MUCH FUN. Warning for zombies and blood, but way less than you might think. One of the eponymous 6 survivors is a lesbian who keeps trying to convert them to veganism lol. If you watched Chaser Game W you'll recognize one of the actresses in this, the lead actress is from Kamisama no Ekohiiki, and one of the guys is from the prequel series His as well as I Want to See Only You! And yes there is a kiss. Also a surprising number of Mallrats references. Not for people who can't handle gore or relationships being complicated/not a "true love" story/ambiguous ending.

Kamisama no Ekohiiki (complicated question of is it GL in parts, Japan, 2021, furritsubs once again coming through to save the day) This one is a bit complex because there's bodyswap, but the girl who falls for the bodyswapped boy-in-a-girl's-body is clear that she is only interested in the girl. One of the better bodyswap stories because the bodyswap is not a secret for very long, so instead there's a lot of introspection about what gender means and who/what they are attracted to. Feels wrong to call this GL, necessarily, but it's very queer.

Couple of Mirrors (Censored GL, China, 2021, Viki) Story of a rich girl and her assassin girlfriend. This production did an amazing job getting away with what they could, just don't watch the last five minutes and we've got essentially a happy lesbian family.

Legend of Yunze (Censored GL, China, 2021, @douqi7s) Very cute very low budget xianxia miniseries with two seasons and a special. The special is set in modern times in a future lifetime so if you want a cute censored-but-clearly-a-soulmate-love-story this is the one for you. Don't be thrown off by the weird cuts/abrupt episode endings, that's in line with cdramas in general.

Led Astray by Love (Censored GL, China, 2021, @douqi7s) A very fun and adorable isekai story in which a modern day girl is transported to a wuxia novel setting and has to figure out how to get home, and gets romanced by the princess along the way.

And a few additional links for people who even more content:

My Indian sapphic webseries rec list

My suggestions for content with toms (Thai category that's similar to but not exactly the same as butch lesbians) in response to this post.

This really good GL MyDramaList list (not made by me!) lists what seems to be everything I've mentioned and about 200 more. Even I haven't seen a few of these!

My YouTube playlist of sapphic content: This includes anything I stumble across or find in my searches, a lot of music videos and random shorts as well as some microseries and miniseries that I don't consider GL but are WLW/sapphic in addition to true "GL" content. For serialized content, I add just the first ep. A complete mess, but you can trawl through to find stuff to watch, like Hetero!

SOONOTSUE: The same producers of She Makes My Heart Flutter have other short series on their channel worth checking out; if you liked that one, try Out of Breath!

Shakeshoulder: Thai YouTube producers of very pulpy (read: low budget and dramatic plots) shorts

FuFuKnows: This YouTube channel is owned by a gay Taiwanese couple that produces shorts every week, including some with GL mains and sides. These are very low budget but cover a whole swath of queer themes.

@douqi7s is a godsend providing subtitles for all kinds of content, including sapphic shorts and more series than I've listed here. Check their tumblr for links to all of their content; A Practical Guide to Being a Superstar's Assistant has one of the best setups to giving us great moments in the guise of something else so that they get past censorship I've ever seen; I also recommend The Vampires if you're into genre fiction, as well as Legend of Yunqian if you enjoyed the xianxia parts of Legend of Yunze. @wlwcatalogue did an excellent summary of many of the non-wuxia options here.

Quick pitch for the streaming platform GagaOOLala; it's affordable, has a ton of content, including a whack of GLs (originals, license series, and a ton of shorts), and is run by queer people out of Taiwan who care about good quality queer content being made and having an audience, and using the soft power from those successful series to support social change. And if you can't afford a subscription it's worth checking out what they have for free, they open up temporary free access to some things for various events throughout the year.

In searching for gifs for this post I found fellow tumblr user @drowningparty 's WLW compendium list; they've listed more series and films so check it out if you still need more content!

*wipes sweat off brow* that should be enough to be getting on with, but it's really just the tip of the iceberg! If there's something specific you want to see with sapphics let me know and I can tell you if I know it exists. Anyway, I hope this gives you and everyone else a taste of what all is out there! I of course always want more, I am serious about being a sapphic dragon hoarding every crumb i can get my lizardy hands on, but I do think what we have should also be appreciated more. If I missed one of your faves, please tell me!

#gl series #gl recs #sapphic media #media recs #tsukuritai onna to tabetai onna #she loves to cook and she loves to eat #she makes my heart flutter #fragrance of the first flower #love greater than or equal to 70 degrees C #sleep with me the series #our relationship ended before it began #pearl next door #dear uranus #chasing sunsets #show me love #girlfriend project #lulu the series #welcome to the lesbian bar #gap the series #nevertheless the series #friend zone 2: dangerous area #six survivors #kamisama no ekohiiki #couple of mirrors #legend of yunze #led astray by love #lily fever #thank you for the ask! #ask game #long post

[doudouneverte]

2nd choice, but 1st place

a/n: okay I was very inspired for that I don't know why. And it should be my last last football (soccer) fic at leat until the world cup

*not my GIF*

Pairing: VfL Wolfsburg (frauen) x Putellas!Reader; Alexia Putellas x sister!Reader; (hint of Lena Oberdorf x Reader)

Summary: You need to prove that you're notjust La Reina's little sister.

Type: Fluff

Warning: nothing

word count: 5433 (i was inspired sorry)

note:

(///////) means change POV to TV pov (I tried something very new)

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Dreams are made to come true, they say. Yours just started when you signed your first professional contract for Barcelona. You were nervous, but you were not alone; there was your sister, the great Alexia Putellas, and the one who will become your best friend, Ona Batlle. But your debut was not really like you expected; according to your previous coach, you were too much like your big sister, and the club decided to send you on loan to Levante.

You shouldn’t be angry by their decision, but you got more play time there, and you were with Ona, at least until she joined the WSL. The defender tried to convince you to go with her and maybe play with her in Manchester, but you declined. You were really happy with your new club, and they even decided to keep you after the left back left.

But fortunately or unfortunately for you, Barcelona wanted you back after their Champions League final win against Chelsea. At first, you thought that they finally found an interest in you, but you learned late that it was more of a way for them to be sure you didn’t sign with the rival, Real Madrid.

At the end of the 2022 season, you received some calls from a lot of clubs who were ready to sign you next summer. Honestly, you didn’t know how they could recruit a bench player, but two clubs caught your attention: Manchester United and VfL Wolfsburg. When you talk about it with your sister, it’s unnecessary to say she wasn’t really happy with it.

You were with the team celebrating the three trophies won this season. You talked a little with Ingrid and Fridolina; you three grew up close because they joined the club with you. After they gave you some advice, you decided to pull your sister away from the girls to announce your decision.

"But why?" Alexia asked, and you rolled your eyes.

"Do you really need to ask?" You were not really shocked by the fact that she seemed oblivious to your situation; every time you played together, she looked as happy as when you were both children and you were trying to reach her level. But there is the problem: you were not that little kid anymore, and you definitely didn’t want to reach her level like you did in the past. "Listen, I already talked with the coach and everyone. Ingrid and Frido said that Wolfsburg is a great team to improve myself so I think I can try."

"But why? Is it because we lost in the Champions League? I’m angry too, but don’t worry; we will do it next year, I promise." She said, and you sighed.

"No, it’s not—" you groaned. "I mean, yes, I’m angry that we lost, but it’s not because of that."

"So what is it? I thought you wanted to win the Champions League together. I thought you wanted to show the world how incredible the Putellas sisters are." She said, and gave you a nudge.

"I want; I really want, but look at us. You won the freaking Ballon d'Or; you're the captain of the team and the national team. Don’t get me wrong, I’m really proud of you; nobody deserved it more than you. But look at me; I struggle to make my way on this team. Until I’m still in your shadow, I could never reach your level; it’s not your fault, but it’s just that no team needs two of the same players." You explained, and your sister stayed there, processing everything you said.

"I didn’t know," she said. You wrapped your arm around her shoulders and gave her a weak smile. "I’m sorry," she said with tears in her eyes.

"Hey, it’s okay; it’s not your fault; it’s just that you started to create your own legend here, and it’s a good thing, but if I want to improve my skill, I need to leave." You said, and she hugged you.

======

The final whistle echoed in the stadium; it's over; Spain lost against England and was out of the Euro 2022. It took you a moment to realize what that meant. The coach called you just before the first match to let you know you'd replace your sister because she got injured just before the competition, and now you were angry and disappointed because you didn't qualify your team for the next round.

You were sitting on the pitch with your head in your hands when you felt a hand on your shoulder. You turned your head to meet Ona's eyes. She was trying to restrain her tears, but you knew her better than anyone else. You didn't say anything; you just stood up and pulled her into a tight hug before your teammates came a few seconds later.

After a little while, you went to congratulate the winners with a sad smile, and you could see some English players were truly sorry for you. Leah came and hugged you while you tried not to fall apart on her shoulder. "I'm sure she's proud of you." She whispered to you, and you nodded. When you broke the hug and looked at the crowd, you saw her. Alexia was there, visibly sad, but she gave you a smile to reassure you and let you know that she's proud of your match even if Spain didn't win.

Later that night, you were with Ona, packing your things, when Alexia knocked on the door. The defender took a moment to analyze and make sure you were okay before she left you two alone.

"You did great." Alexia said, and you hummed, not really looking at her to avoid a possible deception on her face. She grabbed your hand, and you finally looked at her "I'm serious, you were the best player today."

"Yeah, but that was not enough to win." You replied, and she sighed. She knew why you were acting like that, why this defeat seemed more important to you than anyone else, and secretly she couldn't help but blame herself for something she couldn't change.

"This shot in the second half was extremely precise, and if their captain didn't touch the ball, I'm sure you would score." She added and rubbed your cheeks with her hand. You lowered your head to look at her leg and the clutches she carried with her everywhere.

"How is your knee?" You changed the subject; you were definitely not ready to talk about it right now.

"It will be hard, but I should be back before the end of the next season." She said, and sat on the bed where your suitcase was while you continued to fulfill it. There was silence until your sister spoke again. "You know, we'll miss you." She said it with a sad smile.

"I know, but it's not like I'll change continents or anything. We will stay in the same time zone, and if you're good without me, we will face each other in the Champion's League." You joked, and she gently pushed you.

You spent the rest of your summer with your family before being called to Germany. In the airport, your mom and Alexia were making sure you hadn't forgotten anything, while Alba and you just rolled your eyes at them. When they called your flight, you gave them a last group hug, cautiously avoiding touching your sister's knee.

To your surprise, everything fit perfectly; your new teammates were really happy to have a new face, and the coach seemed to really trust you. Due to your position on the field, you didn't start every match, but it was definitely enough to grow some ties with your teammates and one in particular, Lena Oberdorf.

You were used to playing behind your sister in Barcelona, so of course you didn't mind playing defensive midfielder beside her, and it was definitely a game changer to have both of you on the pitch. The Bundesliga seemed too small for you two; rare were the strikers who were able to pass you and the German.

You definitely shined during the group stage of the Champions League, when everyone was prepared to stop Poppy or Pajor; they didn't know you were able to play as N°10, and every goalkeeper was shocked to see you so close to their penalty areas.

Because of your perfect performance on the group stage, Lena started to call you Prinzessin, or princess in German, because of Alexia's nickname. You found it funny and started to call her your knight because she always cleaned up after you every time you lost a dual.

Everything couldn't be better; you were one of the best scorers in the Bundesliga and definitely the one with more assists. While you were eliminating the PSG, your best friend was becoming the best left back in the WSL, and your sister started to work out to prepare for her comeback.

======

At the press conference before your first leg at home against Arsenal, a journalist asked something funny to Tommy Stroot: "What can you say about the transformation of Y/n?"

"What?" Your coach asked back.

"I mean, it's not the end of the season, and she already beat her record from the two past seasons. She was involved in four goals in the semifinal of the DFB-Pokal against Bayern. So, I'm asking if you know something about her transformation on the pitch."

There was a little silence; the response seemed so obvious that the coach couldn't even believe he asked him that. "I don't know if it's really a transformation; when she trained with us for the first time, she beat my expectations. I don't think we did something to her; maybe she just needed some confidence and play time. She's a young player, and it's the most important thing."

"Talking about play time, she got injured in the last match; do you think she'll get back in time for the match tomorrow?" Another journalist asked.

No, definitely not, but she works hard on her side to be available for the match in London, so I'm not worried." After a few rounds of questions, the conference ended.

To your surprise, the first leg ended in a draw. You were frustrated not only because you couldn't play but also because you knew you had to win the next match. In London, things were a little different; the Gunners were favorites, of course, but the atmosphere was almost suffocating, and things didn't go better when Stina scored the first goal. You were on the bench for this match; you were ready to play, but your coach wanted to use you as a super sub, and this man rarely gets it wrong.

At the end of full time, the score was 4-4 in aggregate, so that meant overtime, and overtime meant super sub. You just need 15 minutes to install fear in your opponent's mind. You barely lost a ball, and even when it happened, Lena always had your back. And in the next fifteen minutes, you did what you did best this season: assisted Bremer eight minutes before the end and qualified Wolfsburg for another final in their history, and more than that, because it will be against Barcelona.

Until then, you win the dfb-Pokal without surprise, and you place yourself as the second-best scorer of the season in the Bundesliga. At the end of the season, everyone's eyes were locked on one thing.

The day before the final, you were in your hotel room in Eindhoven talking with some teammates who had invited themselves into your room when you received a text from Ona.

Ona: good luck for tomorrow, Princesa. I come with Leila and Laia You: you come to see me or the girls? 🤔 Ona: everyone  You: okay but I need to tell you that we will win tomorrow, so prepare the girls to comfort them Ona: I don't come here to see my best friend lose You: don't worry, you'll not You: I need to go. the girls need me to annoy the older. see you tomorrow. I'll let you touch the trophy 😜  Ona: yeah sure 🙄

======

On D-Day, the pressure was at its highest level; the fans were expecting a victory, and you, the players, would do anything for that. In the changing rooms, everyone was tense after the lecture from your coach. You started your little routine before any big games to focus until you saw Lena beside you, totally nervous.

"Hey Lee, are you okay?" You asked after you gently paused your hand on her tight. She looked at your hand before locking her gaze on yours.

"I don't know. I mean, it's a big game, like, THE big game of the season." She said, and you chuckled. You found her very cute when she was stressed, but she didn't need to know that, at least not yet.

"Yes, but you played a big finale last summer, remember?" You asked.

"And I lost." She replied.

"Okay, that's not what I was expecting." You admitted; you sighed and gently cupped her face with your hands, forcing her to look at you. "Listen, I know it's a big game. I know how terrifying it is to face a team like that, but you're not alone. There's all the team to help you in the first half, and I'll be there in the second, whatever happens." You said quietly, and she chuckled, leaving you confused.

"I was more stressed about making your ex-teammates cry because we would crush them, but I think your little speech helped me too." She joked, and you rolled your eyes, even if that made you laugh too.

"Okay now, enter that pitch and show them what my knight in shining armor can do." You said, and all the girls cheered you up.

///////

"Good afternoon, everyone, I'm Dave, and I'll be your commentator for this final of the Champions League. I'm not alone; I'm with Selena, our consultant for this match. Good afternoon, how are you?"

"Pretty good, thanks, Dave. And yeah, we're here today for THE most important match of the season, one of the most equilibrated matches of this Champions League journey, at least on paper."

"Yes, on paper, the match would be beautiful to see, but we need to remind ourselves that FC Barcelona start this match with a little advantage. They were declared champions a few weeks before the end of the season, so they could rotate their squad and rest their players for this final."

"Of course, it will be a great advantage, but we saw how Wolfsburg can be really dangerous when we're not ready. I don't think Alexia and her teammates will take it easy; I think the defeat of the last year is still in everyone's memories."

"Talking about Alexia and her teammates, the players should enter the pitch in an instant now." The players started to walk out of the tunnel, and everyone was focused on one thing: the victory. You were on the bench watching your first team against your provisory team.

The anthem of the Champions League was playing on the speaker of the Phillips Stadion; the supporters started to be impatient, and you were more nervous.

"I will never get used to this tension just before the kickoff."

"I totally understand you; it never misses to give me goosebumps. I was watching the composition of the two teams, and I'm a little shocked to see Y/n in the starting eleven. What do you think about it?"

"It's a surprise, but not as big as anyone thinks. We know that Tommy Stroot likes to use her as a super sub, and it's technically those types of matches where anything could happen that you need someone like her."

"Her big sister doesn't start either, but it's not really a surprise, so I think I'm talking for everyone when I say that we are really excited to see the both of them on the pitch. And now the kickoff."

—------------

Surprisingly, after the kickoff, the advantage was clearly for the German team.

"The Spanish seem to struggle to keep the ball out of their side of the pitch."

"Yes, but we know they can reverse this; we just need to—"

"Oh no, big mistake from Bronze. Pajor can shoot, and- she didn't miss! Wolfsburg take the lead with a missile from their Polish striker."

"I was saying that they can reverse, but this didn't go well, haha."

"It's not your fault; nobody can predict that Lucy Bronze would leave a little place for Pajor to shoot. But only after fifteen minutes, the teammates of Alexandra Popp can dream to lift the prestigious trophy."

—------

"—she's doing one of her best performances today, but– but right now the Catalans recuperate the ball! Graham Hansen is alone by her side. Oh, what a great move to push the ball in front of the goals; she can shoot—no, she passes, why she—"

After only fifteen minutes, everything needed to be redone.

"It's Patri!! After only fifteen minutes, ladies and gentlemen, Patri scored the equalizer!"

"That was the best way to finish this action, Dave. What a great goal and great performance from the Spaniard since the Germans took the lead! The solution didn't come from the strikers, so she just decided to take it into her own hands. 1-1, the real game starts now."

"You said it, Selena; she had the lucidity to stay away from any defender, and the finish is just amazing."

You and the girls were gutted; you didn't plan to win this game with a big goal difference, so any goal against you is barely a synonym of defeat. The real nightmare started only five minutes before halftime.

"A corner kick for Barcelona. It's shot very well, and—it's Rolfö! The Swedish give the advantage to the Spaniard only five minutes before halftime! What a goal!"

"Like you said, Dave, what a goal from Fridolina Rolfö. She used to score beautiful headers, and that's why corner kicks are one of the most dangerous weapons on this team. She just freed her from any defender and easily put it in the back of the net."

"You can see the joy erupting from Barcelona's bench; the supporters are uncontrollable, and it's totally understandable. The Swedish player may have just secured the victory with this goal."

In the next five minutes, your teammates pushed but failed to score against a visibly blessed Paños.

"And the referee blew the whistle; it's halftime, ladies and gentlemen. We will remind you of the score for the one who just joined. There is a 2-1 lead for Barcelona. Pajor scored the first goal of the game, but only fifteen minutes later, Patri equalized, and Rolfö gave them the advantage a few minutes ago."

///////

Back in the changing room at halftime, your teammates looked defeated, and after another lecture from your coach, the room was pretty quiet. The girls seemed to be trying to focus on the second half. Lena rested her head on your shoulder, and you intertwined your fingers with hers.

"Okay girls, you heard me out." Alexandra started to speak and gained everyone's attention. She gave a pretty encouraging speech. During this time, you were rubbing your thumb on the back of Lena's hand.

After the speech, when it was time to go, you unconsciously kissed the defender's hand and made her blush, but you were totally oblivious. "I believe in you; I know you'll be better in this half." You whispered to her, and she squeezed your hand.

/////// 

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back. We're here for the second half of this final of the Champions League, opposing Barcelona to Wolfsburg, and the Spaniard took the lead just before halftime." The two teams were going back on the pitch with a little change in the Spaniard's side.

"We were just talking about her before during the halftime, and Jonatan seemed to have heard you." You were one of the last ones to come out of the tunnel, and you were a little surprised to hear the Barcelona fan chanting your sister’s name, but you were more surprised to see her ready to start the end of the match. "No, you’re not dreaming Alexia Putellas will play her first minutes in this campaign! Now the question is how Wolfsburg will react to this."

It was not surprising that the Spaniard took the advantage at the start of the second half, and things went worse when what everyone expected happened.

"Bonmati for a cross in the box, the defense struggles to kick the ball out. Alexia recuperates the ball; she places herself and aims, and—it's a goal! Barcelona is now leading by two goals!"

The joy erupted from the benches of the previous finalists. All the Spanish supporters were screaming; it was almost done. Almost because it was only the fiftieth minute, they had to conceive the score for forty minutes, and your coach was about to make his biggest move.

Your teammates were about to start the end of the game until the referee blew the whistle for a sub.

"Things are going to be more exciting now. The coach of Wolfsburg just made his super sub, Roord, let her place to Y/n." As a reminder of the start of this second half, all the German fans were chanting your name when you entered the field. You found your position beside your defensive midfielder, and the match started again.

"I have an interesting statistic for you, Dave. Wolfsburg only lost three games this season when they aligned their duo Lena-Y/n. And what is most incredible is that Y/n is a former offensive midfielder, but she didn't struggle to play a little lower on the pitch. She's very versatile."

Yeah, it's very incredible, but you know what is very unbelievable?" 

"No what?" 

Is it that since they became pro, the Putellas sisters have played more against each other than with each other."

"Wait what?"

"Yeah, Y/n played for Levante until the last season, but she played only four games with her big sister on the pitch in Barcelona."

"It's quite funny because when we saw them playing together, it was almost like they had done it all their lives."

"Yeah, but I see almost the same result this season between Lena and Y/n, like now."

You recovered the ball, dribbled Aitana, and passed to Lena before being stopped by Keira. The German gave it back to you just perfectly in front of the penalty, and that led to you shooting and hitting the crossbar.

"She was so close to scoring only after five minutes of her appearance in this match."

"I think Tommy Stroot made a great choice to sub her on now; like we said earlier, even if she played alongside Oberdorf, she's a former offensive midfielder, which means that she can contribute to the offensive task. But she also gives hope to the team and their supporters; I think it's important too."

A few minutes later, Lena recovered the ball pretty high on the pitch and gave it to Sveindis, who made an incredible run, followed by Rolfö, but managed to cross it in the box, where you pushed it into the net with a big header.

"Ooh, what a goal! Y/n just scored a beautiful header, reducing the gap between the two teams."

"I wanted to say that the defense was too chill, but her placement was just perfect. She was quicker than anyone on this action, and I think it's not too bad to say she's quicker than anyone since she's here. She scored a striker's goal."

After thanking the Icelander and hugging some teammates, you were ready for the rest of the game. The game was more tense. The Barcelona players pushed really hard, but you were almost suffocating all their actions with Lena. Talking about action, your team just got one after a great save from Frohms, who kicked the ball far away. You controlled it and looked around to find yourself almost alone on the right side of the pitch, which means if you want to find a way to be in a good position to shoot, you have to use your left foot.

Alexia knew that; she was the one who praised you when you became more skilled than her, and what helped you was your ability to use both feet almost perfectly. Patri otherwise seemed to forget that because she was surprised when she got nutmegged; Rolfö just behind her tried to surprise you, but she got crocheted. You were running to the box, and when Mapi came to stop you, you noticed Popp alone was not offside yet, so you just lobbed the defender, and your captain controlled it perfectly. And she didn't miss her 1v1 with Paños.

"And Alexandra Popp for the equalizer!"

"What beautiful action from Y/n. She totally danced with her ex-teammates; she reached another level in this final."

You wanted to apologize to Patri, but you were stopped by the tall body of your captain, who pulled you into a tight hug. You laughed when she let you go, but not before she messed up with your hair like she had loved to do since the start of the season.

"I think we can say that Y/n is literally the definition of a supersub. She's implied in the two goals that helped Wolfsburg come back in this match. And from her expression, we can think it's not finished yet."

The German fans were chanting your name like you had been in this club for a few seasons now. That made you blush, and you made a heart with your hand to show them your love before the next and hopefully last quarter of the match.

Your sister and her teammates were more nervous and reckless in the last minutes, maybe because of the stress that led to some ugly tackles, which almost made you feel nostalgic about your matches against Georgia Stanway.

"The fourth referee announced 5 minutes of extra time. If Wolfsburg continue like that, maybe they could win in overtime like against Arsenal."

Only five minutes of extra time, despite all the fouls, was a miracle. Barcelona's players were more aware of you, and sometimes you were almost never marked by only one player. But you found a little breach where you forced your passage, and you found yourself trying to keep the ball from your sister and Ingrid. You wanted to pass, but they blocked every angle, so you took some steps back and decided to do it quickly.

You easily erased your sister with a dribble on her wrong side, and the Norwegian received your fourth nutmeg of the match. You wanted to pass to Pajor when you felt something collide against your foot, and you fell to the ground.

"Ouch, it's a pretty bad tackle from Mapi Leon."

///////

You were on the ground with your ankle between your hands, trying to ease the pain, when you heard multiple voices arguing.

"Hey, are you crazy?" You recognized Poppi’s voice.

"I didn’t do that on purpose, okay?" Mapi replied.

Lena quickly came to you and tried to distract you while your sister tried not to let your captain hurt her best friend. "Hey, do you hear me?" she asked, and you nodded. "Okay, good. The medics should come in a few seconds. Do you think you can continue the match?"

"Yes, of course." You spoke through the pain, and she nodded. Like she said, the medics came a little after; it was not serious, but it was not a good move from your national teammate. After the approval of the medic, you prepare yourself for the free kick.

A foul in front of the box, not so far, a little on the right side. Svenja took the ball, placed it, and looked at the players in the penalty area. You were still beside her, lightly testing your foot.

///////

"It seems that Y/n and Svenja Huth are talking about who’ll shoot this free kick. It can be the last action of the match. Who should shoot it for you, Selena?"

"Oh, it’s a tough question. We know Svenja can find a teammate in this situation; she took all the free kicks like always, and she was good like always. But, even if the last time she took a free kick was in her time at Levante, Y/n have pretty good statistics on this exercise."

///////

You took two steps back and a step to the left, took a deep breath, and focused on the goal. The referee blew the whistle. Alexia met your gaze; she knew. Svenja raised her left hand to indicate the near post. She started to run but stopped herself in front of the ball. She just took a step to the right, and you made your way to shoot.

Your feet hit the ball, and you saw it fly toward the goal in the opposite upper corner.

///////

"Y/n took the free kick and—she scored! In the last minute of this final, Y/n gave the victory against her former club! It’s totally unbelievable!"

"You say it, Dave! I thought Svenja would shoot it, but she let the young Spaniard, and for her first free kick with the wolves, Y/n just scored a beautiful one! She perfectly hit the opposite corner; Sandra Paños didn’t see it coming. This final is incredible, and this player is incredible. And the referee just blew the end of the match."

"They did it! Wolfsburg are Champions again for the third time in their history!"

///////

All the bench ran to you; you couldn’t process what was happening until you felt yourself being tackled on the ground by Lena, quickly followed by the rest of the team. You did it; you won your first Champions League. The tears started to run down your cheeks, and you wrapped your arms around the defensive midfielder.

"We did it," she said to you, and you nodded. She brushed away your tears and discreetly kissed your cheek.

You wanted to celebrate more, but you noticed your national teammates’ faces. You went to console a lot of them when you spotted Fridolina and Ingrid with Mapi and Alexia. The ex-Wolfsburg players noticed you first and were the first to hug you and congratulate you.

"We told you it'd be a good team for you." The Swedish said, and some tears started to fill your eyes.

"Hey, don't cry. It's okay." The Norwegian said this time, and you just gave her a sob as a response. They broke the little group hug when Mapi came closer to you.

The defender was the next to catch you between her arms. "I'm sorry for earlier." She and you shook your head to let her know that you weren't angry about that. Congratulations, hermanita." she continued.

"Thank you," you replied shyly. The girls patted your shoulders and left to see the rest of the team. It was just you and your sister now. She was crying, of course, and that made you cry too. When she noticed your tears, she just opened her arms wide, and you filled the space.

"You did it," your sister said, and you nodded against her shoulder. "I'm proud of you." She pulled away to look at you. "I meant it; you were the best player today."

"I'm sorry." You said while you were crying, but the captain immediately shushed you and pulled you into another hug.

Hey, no, don't be sorry. It's okay; we lost, and it's frustrating, but you deserve it. Listen," she pulled away from the hug and pointing to the supporters around you. Even some of Barca’s fans were chanting your name. "You proved everyone that you’re more than my little sister; you start to create your own history." You wanted to say something, but you were required to do an interview.

After that, the final ceremony started. You were a little surprised to be the player of the match, but Lena kept saying that it couldn't be anyone except you. While you were talking with the midfielder, Alexandra was talking with your sister. Their conversation was a little interrupted when they saw you chase the German with a big smile.

"Do you think I need to say something?" the Spanish captain asked.

"Not yet," the tall captain replied, and your sister nodded.

This third June, despite what everyone thought before this final, you led the Germans to number one in Europe. Your dreams came true.

#woso x reader #woso fanfics #alexia putellas #alexia putellas x reader #lena oberdorf #lena oberdorf x reader #vfl wolfsburg frauen #vfl wolfsburg women #vfl wolfsburg women x reader

[prolix-yuy]

A Bearable Weight

Pairing: Javi Gutierrez x F!Reader

Summary: New Years Eve is the holiday of new beginnings, and you take a leap to see if Javi might be one of them.

Word Count: 3k

Story Warnings: T, plenty of sweetness, more ridiculousness because I can't help myself, some lightly spicy kisses. While this story is not explicit, my blog and the content shared on it is 18+ so MINORS DNI.

Notes: I had to get these two to New Years. They were just too cute to leave hanging. I hope each and every one of you reading this waves goodbye to anything that made your 2022 difficult and enters 2023 with open arms and excitement. Now let's see where the new year takes Javi and Conejita!

Cross-posted on AO3

The restaurant is smaller than you thought it might be, unassuming in a strip of businesses. The sign for it is understated, white lettering on a black rectangle with a thin gold border - Aperitif. You’ve been studying the sign, and the door below it, for well over ten minutes, the chill night air creeping up your bare legs. The new dress you bought for the occasion - black, tasteful but a little sexy, an amount you’re comfortable with - weaves around your knees when a breeze makes you shiver. You look down at your heels again, still torn between whether the glittery gold is too loud for your personality or loving that they make you feel festive. Your hair is styled, your makeup is perfect, everything is ready for you to go inside.

And you’re still rooted on the damn spot.

Javi texted you a few times since the first voice message. Every new phone alert made your heart jump, evolving to a flutter when it actually was from him. He sent you photos of his friends’ Christmas tree, their dog plopping her head in his lap, the snow outside a fogged up window. He also asked you things about yourself, some that you expected and others that made you stop and smile. 

What food will you eat if you’re having a bad day?

Best movies adapted from books?

Did your sister like the message?

Your sister did indeed, and after catching you grinning at your phone several times throughout the long weekend finally made you confess how you got it. Her elation over the serendipitous meeting was only eclipsed by your hesitation over seeing Javi again.

“Are you serious right now? Cute, funny, probably loaded, a dork, sweet, and definitely into you? I will drive you there and drop your ass on the sidewalk if you don’t do it yourself.”

So you accepted the invitation, which was accompanied by a string of excited texts filled with details and one that made you tingle from head to toe.

Thank you for accepting. I hope you will consider what I asked you in my first message. But only if you’re comfortable. I really like talking to you, no matter what.

A beat, then…

If you’d like to be mine, this year.

You did. Holy hell, you did. But you were also a classically trained overthinker, and the days leading up to New Years Eve were spent Googling and riding the rollercoaster of excitement and dread. The Gutierrez family had an online presence, and not all of it was good. Luckily it seemed like Javi wasn’t in the crosshairs, but the more you learned the more convinced you became that this was going to be a shitshow. Wealthy, influential, a lover of the arts and gorgeous in every photo you find, your hopes got buried a little deeper with each word.

He told you it was going to be a party, nothing large, but the idea of being in your department store dress among the elite of society made you want to cancel. Go out for coffee instead. Let yourself down gently when you realize how different your worlds are.

But then you find a voicemail - a missed call from Javi:

“Hi conejita, I hope all the texts have not been too much. I realize that you barely know me, and I am maybe moving a little too fast. I get…ah, well, I get excited. You have made me very excited, and I want to be, you know, ‘cool’ about it, but I am not so great at that. Anyways, I am…hah, yeah, excited to see you tomorrow. It will be a lot of fun. And, um…we don’t…I only want what you want, conejita. So let’s just…see where the night takes us. I know what I feel, but I…I only want you to…to know…agh! I am messing this all up. Sorry, this message is so long now. I’ll see you tomorrow. I’m…I’m really happy to see you tomorrow. Okay, bye.”

What’s the harm, you thought after listening to the message three times. If it’s terrible you never have to see him again.

Another breeze ripples over your skin, finally making you move towards the door.

And if it’s amazing?

You smile to yourself and enter the warmth of the restaurant.

Aperitif looked small from the exterior, and the interior is about what you expected. It could maybe seat 30 fully booked, but the dining room has been cleared out in favor of buffet servers against the walls, the ivory bar lined with champagne glasses and eager bartenders shaking cocktails. The handful of people chatting inside don’t look like heiresses or oil barons. Your shoulders relax a fraction.

“Name?” the man at the door asks, a short list in his hand. You give yours and are ushered in, a drink immediately put in your hand and a string of metallic gold beads tossed over your head by a waitress.

“Happy New Year!” she says, taking your coat. You slip into the crowd looking for the only person you came here for - Javi. But his caramel curls and exuberant laugh haven’t reached you yet.

“I love what they’ve done with the decorations!” a cheery voice exclaims over your shoulder. You look around, then up to see a delicate web of black and gold streamers holding balloons precariously above you. One single streamer hangs to the floor behind the bar, which an olive-skinned hand points to. “I think at midnight they pull that.” You turn to see the woman speaking to you, and she’s...normal-looking. Peppy brunette with a sharply cut bob, sparkling brown eyes, and a glittery top with black slacks. Maybe you had nothing to worry about.

“That’s fun, I haven’t been out on New Years in ages,” you say, taking a sip of champagne. The bubbles tickle your tongue pleasantly. It’s good, much better than any champagne you’ve had at parties.

“Oh then you’ve come to the perfect place! Who invited you?” she asks, finishing off her glass and placing it on a waiter’s tray as it floats by. 

“Javi,” you say, a little shyly. He mentioned that he was hosting it, but you had no clue who the other guests were. How long could you keep up the facade?

“Of course! How do you know him? I’m a long-lost cousin myself, been out of the loop for a while, but it’s nice to see him again.” She waits expectantly, and if you didn’t feel like throwing up before you definitely do now.

“Uhhh, we met…on a flight…” you start to say, working through how the hell you were going to explain the circumstances of your meeting to a stranger, when her eyes light up.

“Oh my GOD, it’s you!” she gasps, grabbing on to both your shoulders. “Javi told me about the girl on the plane on his way here. That story, the way he tells it, it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever heard. And you’re here! Now! I have to find him, he’ll be so excited!” She squeezes your shoulders again with a little squeal before darting through the crowd, a nervous giggle smothered in your hand.

He told people about you. 

He told people about you in a way that made him sound happy.

You could burst, the light inside you is so expansive. 

You’re about to follow when a large palm circles your bicep, turning you gently around in the crowd.

“You came.”

Javi says it like a prayer, like he believed but never thought a miracle would grace him. His curls are swept back from his face in tantalizing waves. He’s in a gray blazer, a navy button-up with some abstract patterning hanging onto his broad chest for dear life. The top three buttons already gave up the fight, chest dewy with the humidity in the room. But it’s his face that melts your anxieties away. His eyes drape warmth over you, fondness in their depths that he only hinted at in his messages. His soft smile lashes your heart into a gallop, breaking into one of your own.

“Of course. How could I miss it?” you say, winking when his grin widens. He leans forward to place a chaste kiss on your cheek, hand spreading across your lower back. 

“I am so happy to see you, conejita,” he whispers, raising goosebumps along the nape of your neck. 

Oh, you’re in it deep now.

As the night continues more people file in, filling the small space with chattering conversation. You find the bubbly brunette again, who introduces herself as Julia, and get to talking about houseplant care and aggravations. She’s unpretentious, passionate, and makes you feel like you belong. Honestly, most of the people do. As the night wears on and you shake more hands and spark more conversations, it dawns on you why these people are all together tonight. This is Javi’s circle, people who understand him and bring him joy.

Bashful happiness that you might bring him joy settles in your chest.

Javi scoops you up every few minutes, guiding you to new groups or asking you if you’ve tried something. The upscale pigs in a blanket are your personal favorite, snagging a whole tray for yourself when a waiter walks by. You’re almost embarrassed, but Javi’s crinkled smile as he tries to steal one and gets his hand slapped is worth it.

A murmuring begins by the entrance, a flocking to the door. Javi comes to your elbow, leaning on one foot and placing his warm hand on your lower back. He’s been doing it to you all night, every time you stand beside him, but it’s never less thrilling.

“What’s that all about?” you ask, your third glass of champagne fizzing delightfully under your skin. He catches someone’s eye in the crowd, gesturing them over.

“Just a good friend who came to visit.”

You almost choke on your sip of bubbles.

“Nicolas. Fucking. Cage,” you scoff to Javi under your breath as the man himself emerges out of the crowd. He’s bee-lining your way but stops to shake hands and engage in polite conversation. His emerald velvet jacket contrasts the burgundy button-up underneath nicely, but the faded Dad jeans and white tennis shoes clash adorably with the ensemble. “You could have warned me!”

“Your reaction was well worth your annoyance,” Javi placates, pressing you forward as the crowd falls back.

“How are you doing Nic? How’s the family?” Javi asks, pulling the famous actor in for a hug. They give brief updates, you standing back a step awkwardly. Debating on slipping away, Javi introduces you to Nic and pulls you back into the conversation.

“The girl on the plane,” Nic says, and if you ever thought his speaking affect was fake you’re certain now it’s genuine. He takes your hand in both of his, shaking it earnestly. “I heard your sister is a big fan. I hope she liked the message, I know it was a little rushed but, last minute on the holidays, you know…” You shake your head, fighting back your sister’s scream in the back of your mind.

“She was over the moon. Thank you again for doing that, it was very kind of you,” you say, trading a secret smirk with Javi. It’s a harmless lie, but the fact that he’s perpetuating it makes you even giddier.

“Well next time you’re at one of Javi’s parties you should bring her. I love meeting fans,” Nic says, giving you a pat on the shoulder and peeling off to get himself a drink. Javi slides back to your side, the laughter you’d been suppressing squeaking out of the corners of your mouth.

“Clara’s gonna die. I’ll have to lie to her to get her in the same room as Nic,” you sputter, leaning into Javi’s side as he puts an arm around your shoulders. Frenetic energy dissipating, you savor the solid breadth of his chest, that delicious citrus bite of his scent. He holds you there, and after a moment his cheek presses against the side of your head. He inhales, your face burning when you realize he’s smelling you. 

“That’s it, you’re a wizard or something. No one can grant as many wishes as you,” you tease, twisting to look into Javi’s face. The crows feet and wrinkles smooth as he looks at you, eyes darting from your own to your lips and back again. “Thank you,” you finally say, letting him slide his arm down to pull you into his chest.

“It is I who should be thanking you, conejita. I’ve been living a full life, a better life in recent times, but it feels that much brighter when you’re close to me.” His touch is hesitant when his fingers graze your jaw, his hold loosening on your back. It’s all broadcasting only what you want. He would chase you if you let him, though if you stepped away now he’d let you. But in those touches are the longing to be more than acquaintances. And in this room you thought you’d never belong in, you feel safe, and seen.

Over the chatter and laughter swirling past, you talk. About Javi’s life, and your own. Your work and what you love to do. His love of movies, your love of old houses and national parks. Your mutual dislike of overused CGI elements and predictable jumpscares. He strokes your back, your arm, as you speak, sometimes needing to break away to say hello or answer a question, but unfailingly coming back to you. 

As the final minutes near, you voice the question burning in the back of your mind.

“Javi, you’re so…” you gesture at this posh, gorgeous man standing beside you. “You’re so far out of my league I can’t even see you. And I know I’m a catch,” you interject, gesturing at yourself now with amusement. “I’m a snack, I’m a whole meal, I don’t deny it. But I’m more like…Applebees than Wolfgang Puck.” You wave your hands, banishing the jumble away. “I guess I just don’t understand why…me. Here. Tonight.”

Javi’s brow furrows, his mouth tightening into a pout as he casts his gaze down. Waiting is torture, needing to know if this is just a little thank-you or something more. 

“One minute!” someone shouts, the excitement in the room ratcheting up another series of degrees as everyone gathers in the center of the restaurant. Javi leads you to the middle, the throng of people parting enough to give you some space inside it. Once your feet stop, he sweeps you into another embrace, this one firmer. His eyes roam your face, searching for something before he speaks. 

“As much as I love the old movies, I do not believe in love at first sight. I believe in attraction, and common interests, and support. I believe in two people finding each other in the most unusual way and taking it as a sign. And when the universe gives you another chance and it only makes you want that person more, well…” Javi trails off, one hand coming up to curl around your head, his thumb stroking the hinge of your parted jaw. Your eyes must be hopeful because he barrels on.

“Well, I am not one to overlook lightning striking twice. And you are…you are not an…apple bee?” he asks, confusion twisting the words. You shake your head and pat his chest.

“It’s a, like, chain restaurant. Sorry, doesn’t make a lot of sense if you haven’t heard of it,” you murmur, stroking a finger along his lapel. 

“But that’s just it, because I don’t agree with that. You are so much more than I wished. I feel like…not like a puzzle, but like…two rivers meeting. Both strong on their own, but together, mingled, are in harmony.”

“Okay everyone, get ready, on ten!”

“Javi, what are you…”

“Nine!”

“I want more of this, conejita. I want more of you. If you’ll have me too.”

“Eight!”

“I…do, but I just…it…it feels so…complicated.”

“Seven!”

“We do not need all of the answers now. Just one.”

“Six!”

“Which one is that?”

“Five!”

“Will you let me kiss you tomorrow?”

“Four!”

“Three!”

“Two!”

“One!”

“Yes, Javi.”

The restaurant erupts in cheers of “Happy New Year!” as people hug and kiss and celebrate. One of the waiters pulls the crepe paper cord and balloons tumble from the ceiling, packets of foil confetti dumping and exploding over the crowd. If you were paying attention you’d laugh, reach your hands up to the ceiling and try to catch handfuls of the glittering shower, but you’re preoccupied with Javi’s gentle smile before he pulls your lips to his.

If this kiss was a precursor to how your next year would go, magical might be a good descriptor. Or explosive. Swoon-worthy maybe. But perfect might be the best. Javi’s first chaste press is followed by deeper kisses, his full lips covering your own with quiet little pants. When he pulls back enough to see your kiss-drunk face his whole demeanor lights up, lacing his fingers with yours and pulling you through the crowd.

Once tucked away on a bench in the back of the restaurant, he proceeds to kiss you with more fervor, tongue slipping against yours tentatively. He only interrupts the worshipful makeout with touches to your face like he still can’t believe you’re here. Covering his hands with your own, you tilt your head to one side.

“I feel like this is going to be a very good year.”

Javi’s sweet smile turns just a fraction devilish, and your heart flutters with it.

“Better than I could have wished for."

END

Part 3: A Gift of Light and Joy

#javi gutierrez x you #javi gutierrez x reader #javi gutierrez x f!reader #javi g x reader #javi g x f!reader #prolix fics

[kithtaehyung]

racchanel (m) (teaser) | kth

but the thing about vengeance is...

title: racchanel (m) | ⟶ small teaser for tae day 2022! pairing: fashion ceo!taehyung x ex-photographer!reader rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , smut ; fashion au , ? to lovers summary: you were shut out from the industry before. so when an ex-classmate surprises you with another way in, you have no choice but to accept. determined to destroy the one that took everything, you’ll do whatever it takes - even if that means starting over and knowing nothing. warnings: none for teaser except taehyung being.. well, tae. full list will include explicit scenes, angst but are we shocked?, language, revenge, sexual themes, angst, this tae in general tbh, did i mention angst?, warnings will be posted with each chapter. note: so this is the secret wip that i had been holding onto for the entire year!! hope you all enjoy the snippet i have prepared for tae day 2022 because it’s but a taste of what’s to come. definitely one of the pieces i’m super excited to release in 2023! note 2: this teaser drops you in the middle of the first part! teaser word count: 2.3k | est. word count: 100k  est. drop date: ongoing series in 2023! 18+ taglist link: HERE

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The trek to the front entrance remains uneventful. 

Respecting Taehyung’s space, you release your arm from his suit just as the elevator kisses the ground floor. You don’t want anyone starting rumors about you messing around with the CEO before you even launch your career here. 

Career. 

Quite a bold word for you to throw around already. After all, the contract Taehyung offered is only temporary, not to mention strapped with an early termination clause. 

Essentially, you could be dropped at any point without so much as a warning. 

And you don’t expect anything less brutal than that.

When you pass reception, you spare the boys from earlier a glance—much against your better judgment. 

They promptly avert their gazes. Typical. 

A huff leaves you before your eyes focus back on the glass doors. 

“What did you do to them,” your ex-classmate questions before the panels slide open. 

“They were incredibly rude, Taehyung,” you inform, trailing behind and struggling to keep up with his strides. “I just told them to think about how they represented this company. You never know who’ll be walking through those doors.”

The man abruptly stops in front of you, causing you to physically halt on a tiptoe to save yourself from smacking into his back. Swiftly, you find your balance right as he pins you with… a leer?

“I don’t remember you being this nice,” is all he has to say. 

“Ah, well, nice is relative.” You look off into the property gardens, not wanting to face those feline eyes a second longer. “I don’t think your employees would exactly call me a saint.” 

A rueful laugh pops out of your chest, and you turn to look Taehyung dead in the eye. 

“And besides, we went to art school. When was anyone ever nice without some hidden motive?” 

Your former classmate can only blink. 

And blink again. 

“...We’re all screwed up in the head, aren’t we?” 

You offer him a tight smile in agreement before peering off again, taking in the immaculate way everything is laid out in front of Racchanel’s headquarters. 

The gardens could be an exhibition of their own. 

“Undoubtedly,” you finally respond. “But at least you made something of yourself. Most of us are starving artists, or bartenders at jazz joints.” 

The breeze cuts right through your sweats. Quickly slipping on your hood, you wonder if Taehyung really doesn’t care about being seen with you looking like this. His single spritz of cologne probably costs more than everything you’re wearing combined. 

You should head out now.

In the distance, you spot a long black limo rolling up to the sidewalk. 

“I think that’s you, Mr. CEO.” 

Taehyung looks at you a beat longer before turning to see his ride. 

When you expect him to leave without a goodbye, you stand there in confusion when he doesn’t budge. 

What’s he doing? There’s no way he’s not already late for that appearance. 

“Tae—”

Huh? Why’s he looking at you like that? 

…What storm do you see brewing on his horizon?

“Come with me.” 

“What?”

Immediately, your brows furrow impossibly close as he repeats himself,

“To the press conference. Come with me.” 

“I look like a hot pile of garbage—”

“It’s fine—”

“No. No way. Find someone else—”

“I don’t have anyone else.”

You still.

“At least,” he weakly clarifies. “Not right now.”

Before you can wholeheartedly shut him down a final time, you take in his appearance—actually take it all in. 

You aren’t in a dimly lit bar, or frantically thinking your contract offer was a mistake, so you’re finally seeing him with a clear head. 

And what you see is frankly alarming. 

Used to seeing this man radiating confidence on anything from cereal boxes to billboards across the globe, you’re suddenly dialed into the changes in his demeanor. Taehyung’s shoulders droop just enough, the spaces under his lashes hollow just enough. 

Why didn’t you see any of this before?

Reddened eyes from the bar on Christmas Eve come back to you, causing your mountain of excuses to crumble. 

He’s obviously under a lot of pressure from the recent changes in his life. And while change for you means a temporary six-month modeling contract, change to Taehyung means inheriting a multi-million dollar company—seemingly by himself. 

There’s nothing else but a desk. In his entire office.

He may feel… So alone. 

You remember that feeling. Loneliness. It’s dark, and cold, and in the end, you have to pull yourself out of its clutches all on your own. 

Maybe Taehyung can benefit from an extra set of hands. 

“Okay,” you agree, startling him out of a stupor. “I’ll go with you. I can hang in the back, or a hallway, or something.” 

A little flame flickers to life in his eyes as he offers a close-lipped smile. 

“Thank you,” is all he says in return. 

And you don’t make him say anything more than that. 

“Shit.” 

You stop playing with the leather surface of the space next to you. “What.”

It’s been like this the whole ride. Even though Taehyung begged you to accompany him, as soon as you were both settled in the back of the limousine, he seemed to be regretting the impulsive choice. 

As if the multiple times he rakes a hand through his hair aren’t enough of an indication, his chin rubs add on to your own anxiousness. 

He’s clearly uncomfortable with something. But what the hell is up?

Now his nerves seem to jump out in the form of another curse instead of clarification. Which annoys the heck out of you. 

“Taehyung, what’s wrong?” 

The man still doesn’t reply, let alone look your way. 

Maybe he’s not answering because the answer is way too obvious. 

Arriving at a press conference with some random woman in a bunny hoodie and sweats? Yeah. That would make any self-respecting person in fashion shake in their Chelsea boots.

This was a mistake.

What was he thinking? What were you thinking!

The trip to Racchanel was supposed to be a one and done! Tell Taehyung he made an error in the applications, have him verify it, and make your escape. 

But ending up in a limo on the way to a media event? You wouldn’t have been able to write this outcome if you tried. 

Sparing another glance at Taehyung, you realize he’s starting to get downright antsy. 

So you offer to help. “Hey. If you don’t want to be seen with me, I get it. Tell your driver to pull over before we get there and I can get out—” 

“Stop,” Taehyung bites, his expression hard. “Just…” He lowers his head in between his legs, large, ring-studded hands shielding the top of it from the world. His houndstooth coat cascades down his sides, and you want to save him from drowning in those black and white waterfalls. 

You didn’t really hang with him in university, but you always remembered him as the guy that didn’t have to try hard to succeed. He was never under any pressure, academically. 

Really, the only time you remember seeing him upset was when he went through a breakup one year. Kim Taehyung apparently held a grudge as well as he held a pose. 

Reaching out, you lay a hand on his shoulder. After his initial tense, he doesn’t shake you off, so you comfort the model superstar the only way you can think of. 

Tiny circles. Comforting, warm, tiny circles. 

You don’t know if they will work. But it’s something.

Slowly, Taehyung comes back to life like a plant sprouting from a seed. You retract your arm as he straightens against his seat, watching as he rolls his shoulders and tilts his head to stretch. 

From this close, you get to see the skin of his neck. 

And wonder how even that part of him is beautiful.

Turning to you, he scoots closer to tug your hood off in a rush. 

What—

“Shh,” he hushes, proceeding to fix your head to the best of his ability. 

Your eyes roam his face as you stare in shock, wondering why the hell he’s committing to having you here and why he’s styling you himself. 

When was the last time someone else even touched your head? This determined yet this tender, at that? You can’t believe this is happening.

Never mind that. You can’t believe you’re here with him at all. His famous fingers sliding through your strands; his perfect eyelashes brushing his cheeks with every solid blink of his eyes. 

While he’s trying to salvage the mess that’s your head, his hair’s appropriately slicked with just the right amount of product and flawless styling—

That’s when you realize. 

Oh, fuck. 

Taehyung’s getting you ready for the onslaught of cameras. 

Shit, shit shit. 

Being judged by two cowardly receptionists is one thing. But being judged, photographed, and written about by a swath of Kim Taehyung paparazzi?

That’s a thousand times worse. 

Barefaced and carrying evidence of the sleepless night you had yesterday, you’re suddenly grossly self-conscious about your entire appearance. 

The gap between your statuses, experience, and overall lifestyle suddenly resembles a canyon. One so wide you can’t even see him on the other side. 

Taehyung’s right there. 

And yet you feel the furthest you’ve ever felt. 

There’s no way you belong in his world. 

What the fuck are you even doing here? 

“Taehyung,” you hiccup, quickly interrupted by the shouts of people outside as the limo approaches the conference building. Rattling erupts and rings from inside your skin, and you stare back at him with equally trembling eyes. “I can’t do this—”

“You can.” 

“Please—”

Unfazed, he simply asks, 

“Do you trust me?” 

“Yes.” 

Why did you say that so confidently? Why was that so easy to decide?

Do you really?

“Of course you do,” he sighs before pulling you in for a forehead kiss that catapults your heart into your throat. 

But you don’t get to question it before your hood is tugged over your head, dark sunglasses shoved onto your face right as camera flashes and jumbled yells spill into the opened car door.

People. Hands. Phones. Multiple camera snaps and lights and voices bombard your senses, and you’re grateful for the shades over your eyes as you hoist yourself out of the vehicle. 

Taehyung exits right after and blazes a trail for you to walk. 

“Excuse me, miss—”

“Who is she?”

“Taehyung, who is the mystery girl!” 

Through the whirlwind of paparazzi, your thoughts only convene on the cold spot where he kissed you. The freezing wind only makes it more prominent, and you barely even register that you’re walking by yourself as you follow right after him.

It’s only after you get through the heavy doors that your surroundings snap back into focus. 

Wait. What?

How long were you out in the crowd? How did you even get here in one piece? 

The sounds outside muffle as the entrance bangs shut, and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were hiding.

“This way,” Taehyung directs to both you and the security detail that materializes behind you, striding heavily to the right. 

When did these guys…?

Whoa.

You have no clue where you are, but you are miles away from your apartment block. 

Taking in the expansive building, you see that it’s a true conference center, with a grand, open lobby and square footage for days. The right wing looks to house large event rooms, judging by its wide hall and the multiple sets of towering double-doors. 

Scampering after Taehyung, you make sure to stay behind but as close as possible. 

Which makes you almost collide when he stops on a dime. Again. 

You have got to stop walking behind him. 

Face scrunched in annoyance, you’re about to tell the man off—security be damned—before he blurts,

“When we get in there, just relax and follow my lead, okay?”

“Oh, I can wait out here,” you reply, more than happy to leave him to the masses now that you’ve got a taste of them outside. “I don’t mind.” 

Hands set in his trousers, Taehyung peers down at the floor before regarding you with what looks like… 

An apology. 

There’s dread in your veins.

“I wasn’t planning on putting you through a press conference this soon, but you can do this.” 

And it seeps right into your bones. 

“What?” 

His palms land on your shoulders before you can flee. 

“Look. The Board isn’t giving me a lot of time to introduce Astral, even though I told them that’s the only thing I need right now. I just…” Running a hand through his hair, Taehyung looks years older and yet years younger all the same. “I need a familiar face.” 

Hell no. 

There’s no way you can do this. 

Going with him and braving the paparazzi was horrid enough. But a press conference? 

What the fuck are you supposed to say? You aren’t even dressed.

“Taehyung. Look at me.” You gesture to your entire wreck of an ensemble, fingers trembling. “I’m gonna make Racchanel look like a fucking joke.” 

“I don’t care. This new project is going to work.” 

What? How is this possibly going to work? What single thing about this is gonna go well?

Has he lost his mind? 

“What do you mean?”

Instead of responding to your question, Taehyung only gives directions, 

“When we go in there, just keep your face neutral and your back and neck straight. If anyone asks you a question, just say you’re grateful for this opportunity. Understand?”

“Tae—”

“I’ll owe you.” 

You clamp your jaw shut, eyes unblinking as you drink in your former classmate’s entire expression. 

“I’ll owe you. Big.” He breathes in deep before looking at the doors, then back to you. “Just do this one thing. For me.”

What is he thinking?

You pause for eternity before closing your eyes, wondering if he can even see how uncertain they are behind your dark shades. 

“Fine. I will.”

What are you thinking?

“That’s a good girl,” he sighs in relief, embracing you fully before planting another quick peck on your temple. As he pulls away, your hand is clutched before you’re led right up to a set of imposing doors.

To give a press conference.

What are either of you even remotely thinking?

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tbc. :) 

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how do we feel! | taglist + extra optional teaser

a/n: ahhhh it may not make much sense now since this is dropping everyone in the middle of the first part, but i wanted there to be some mystery to everything that’s about to happen! hope you’re all ready to see what’s on the horizon for this tae and reader<33

other links: masterlist | permanent taglist (i check each entry so have your age displayed somewhere in your profile!)

#ahhhh wanted to get something out for today! #hope you enjoy :D #bts #taehyung #bts fic #bts imagines #bts reactions #taehyung fic #bts fanfic #taehyung x you #bangtanarmynet #*latest #ryenwrites #racchanel #*ryenfictalk #happytaeday22! #taehyung smut #taehyung angst

[moaserendipity]

My Top 10 BL's of 2022

I am Back with my BL drama top 10, I might’ve been quiet but I have been actively watching BL dramas. Remember this is my opinion and you might not agree with it but I made up my mind and these are my top-tier BL’s of 2022😎❤️‍🔥

10. Cherry Blossoms after winter 7,8/10

This heartwarming BL was something that I needed when I watched it. I wished it was again longer though because it just didn't feel finished yet and was sometimes a bit rushed. Like I would love to see more about them as high schoolers, especially with that bully storyline, and then the College part was also short or the acceptance of his mom, that could've gone better I feel. But other than that I loved the chemistry between our main leads. The tension was there every time, so that was a big plus, and just their whole relationship, it made me feel warm.

09. To My star 2 8/10

We all know what I am going to say...Again way too short, also I was super confused when I started watching. The sudden jump in time and then back. I was so confused and heartbroken as well. Thankfully everything got clear throughout the other episodes but yeah. This BL definitely did not disappoint as sequel and I can't thank them enough for making it because I feel like we finally got real closure and to see them, in the end, being happy together made me feel so warm and for a change, I didn't feel sad when it ended because they were happy and I felt that happiness. These two actors are definitely amazing together.

08. Cutie Pie 8,5/10

I wanted to watch this because of Zee and mainly for Zee but when the first episode aired I was hooked. I love Nunew and his chemistry with Zee but not only them, also the friends were amazing. I fell for Syn & Nuer even though I disliked Nuer at first because he was after Kuea but that changed when his attention went to Syn, and from that moment they had my heart. Of course, we can't forget about Nat and Max who are playing Yi and Khondiao because they were brilliant as well. Now I have to admit that I probably said every single episode that I was in love with Zee, which isn't a lie because this man can act, the way Lian looks at Kuea, I think I drowned every single time. The reason I give this an 8,5 is simply because of miscommunication, also the sudden change from hate to love was like huh? like why you tell him you don't love him but the next day you suddenly do. The purposely hurting your lover just because you want to see who he really is? yeah, it didn't sit well with me but that being said it's still a good BL for sure!!

07. Love Mechanics 8,9/10

The BL that I have been waiting for, for what is it 2 years!! Did I maybe overhype it in my head, yes I did. Now I have to say that I think what they did was brilliant because the NC scene in the first episode wasn't forced anymore, because both were under influence, still not completely okay but it's better than before.. I love Yinwar because their chemistry has always been on point but with this 2-year gap it's nice to see how much they grew and the acting was so much better. Now what I didn't like and this is kind of a pet peeve of mine with BL's is the lack of communication and with this BL that was definitely the case, no one wanted to listen to one and another, which left to heartache which wasn't necessary at all and also the Yeehwa involvement which often led to the misunderstandings, was annoying to me but other than that I loved Yinwar portraying Vee and Mark because together they were brilliant.

06. My Only 12% 9,1/10

When I started watching this, I knew I was set up to cry a lot and that was not a lie the first few episodes, I cried a lot. I really have to give it to Earth & Santa because I was completely invested in their relationship. Earth is really a brilliant actor and knows how to make you cry your eyes out! I think the sudden change in character was brilliantly done. the way the roles were reversed in which Cake was now the one that got treated how he treated Eiw first. I loved that a lot. I think Santa was brilliant in expressing the jealousy he felt as Cake for Eiw and I do think it's good that he actually spoke his mind, even though it hurt Eiw. I love how Cake is there for Eiw even in the most difficult part of life. I just loved it. I just really think this was a seriously good BL.

05. The Eclipse 9.3/10

The Eclipse, another GMMTV BL, which is brilliant. Now I only knew Khaotung as a light-hearted goofy character so I was pleasantly surprised to see him being this badass guy who isn't afraid to stand his ground and then he was paired up with First, who played the brainwashed perfect. This is amazing and I love how they change when they are together. Now I must admit that I am not crazy about their school being this crazy ass cult, I just hate Cults and everything surrounding it, it's creepy to me but other than that this is an amazing BL. I love seeing people fight for what they believe in and their rights, and I am totally on board with it. I also have to praise Neo for his character in this BL, I LOVE seeing him play a serious character, it just suits him so so much better and I love that he is paired up with Louis, they have such great chemistry! I do hope we get more projects with Khaotung and First because they are perfect together.

04. Not Me - 9,5/10

Not me was a surprise to me because I had kind of forgotten about it until I suddenly saw the trailer popping up again. I loved this cast and especially, Offgun & First, Fluke, they really were outstanding. The rest of the cast of course! I love how Off finally played a serious character instead of the goofy player kind of person because he can pull it off so well. I was very impressed with every episode. Gun also was outstanding as Black & White, I love it when he plays characters like this, it really suits him, and also he was playing a twin. Then we have the side couple Fluke and First, they were brilliant, I felt their emotions through every scene and when that scene with Yok in the hospital happened I was a sobbing mess. The reason I gave this a 9.5 is that I already knew who put Black in the hospital and also I felt somewhat disappointed with Grams character, I was so convinced that he was in love with Black but then he suddenly wasn't but other than that this was brilliant and refreshing!

03. Semantic Error 9.7/10

Semantic Error, what a fantastic Korean BL this was. I was hooked from the start and loved the dynamics between the two main leads Park Seoham(Jaeyoung) & Park Jaechan(Sangwoo). I cannot express my love for this drama enough. I was obsessed with it and it's now one of my comfort BL's. I love how Sangwoo's hate changed into Love. It was definitely a battle within himself and the way Jaeyoung stayed patient with him, was just amazing. The reason why it has a 9.5 rating is that for me it was too short but this is always the case with Korean BL's, I do have to admit that I was already happy that the episodes were a bit longer this time around but yeah other than that it was a perfect warm BL.

02. KinnPorsche La Forte - 9,9/10

This Bl was THE BL that I had been waiting for, for over a year if not more and it did NOT disappoint. It took me on a real rollercoaster of emotions. I went in for KinnPorsche and I enjoyed them a lot. I laughed a lot because they might have the worst bodyguards, but who cares. The chemistry between Apo and Mile was amazing and I couldn't help but feel flustered at times....like that scene in the bathroom..but yeah they were amazing. I also fell for KimChay. These two cuties, one that loves too much and one who didn't know how to accept that love, very Taylor swift if you ask me but I loved every second of it and I really hope they will give them their own side story! Now Tankhun..This man was brilliant, I never laughed this hard while watching a BL, I applaud Tong for his brilliant acting! Now the couple that took over this BL and that was VegasPete. The way I fell for them was no joke. I was obsessed and still am. The angst between them and the way they fell for each other and then that scene where Vegas got shot. Everything was perfect. Now you are wondering why 9.9. I think they started too late with VegasPete's story and I want more of KimChay!

01. Love In The Air - 10/10

Love in the Air was THE surprise of this year, at least for me. I didn't know much about this BL until I randomly came across it a few weeks before it would air BUT boy did it leave an impression. BossNoeul & FortPeak did terrific jobs, especially since they are new actors. I have never seen a BL Drama where there was so much love and communication. PayuRain didn't really have a plot but this was not something that I missed because I thought their love story was wholesome. everything was perfect. Their Chemistry was top notch and I just loved everything about them! FortPeak also was amazing. The way Peak portrayed Sky was brilliant; you could feel his pain and how Fort showed how Prapai changed for Sky was amazing. The pain Sky had been through and for Pai to be the one that opened his heart again and even saved him, I have been in awe and pain and in love the entire time while watching this BL, so I think it's fair enough that this BL is at the top of my list for 2022. In my eyes, this was the best one!

#My top 10 BL #love in the air #kinnporsche #not me #love mechanics #bl drama #my only 12% #semantic error #to my star 2 #the Eclipse #cutie pie #cherry blossoms after winter #payurain #vegaspete #offgun #seanblack #biblebuild #santaearth #cakeeiw #zeenunew #firstkhao #akkayan

[absolutebl]

Kpop end of 2022 shows

In which I mostly slam 4th gen boy groups, so if you’re a stan skip this post or go in prepared to be offended. I am aware that this is off brand for this blog. But I’m also aware that I have a number of followers who are as deeply into Kpop as me, and...

who probably will unfollow me after reading this. Oh well, I’m gonna do it anyway. This is my tiny corner of the internet. MINE I tell you!  

Look, there was no Between Us airing today, and so nothing for me to get my watch-along snark out on except for the 2 Kpop shows that Viki popped into my feed. So skip this post if that’s not your thing. 

2022 Gayo Daejeon (stadium event) 

OMG! Either mic them properly or don’t mic them at all! This is a music concert, right? Why can’t Korea ever fucking get the sound right in these goddamn bonanza shows? I had this problem with Kingdom (arguably more of an issue since that was supposedly made for TV) but it’s 100 times worse with this show. It’s so frustrating. 

For example, with NCT, why is Johnny’s the only hot mic in the group? Sound tech on stuff out of Korea is mind numbingly confusing and ear wrenchingly annoying. I am reminded why I never watch the live shows and never go to Kpop concerts.

And now, here’s some offensive thoughts and unpopular opinions:

Yeonjun of TXT is one of the best 4th gen dancers ever fielded, and one of the better all rounders. But Kpop stylists gotta learn how to dress a dancer so that they can be properly watched, ya know, WHEN THEY ARE DANCING. No puffer vests, you brainless fashionista numb-nuts. Poor thing kept having to do wardrobe adjustments. Honestly, this plus their red carpet looks this year? 

TXT desperately needs a new stylist.

Stray Kids

As a group? They really can’t sing very well or consistently, their strength is in their performance and rapping. And their rappers MUST to be micced hot for live - just KILL 3racha's backup recording, okay? They can handle it. Otherwise please just let them all lip-synch so we can watch them perform. It’s a much better experience.

NCT

Yuta has more charisma in his little finger than Taeyong has in his whole entire body. Doyoung is an incredibly underrated vocalist. Their’s was some of the worst miccing and sound of the night (which is saying a lot considering how terrible it was the whole time). Fantastic use of the stage tho. One the best stadium performance I’ve seen since GOT7. Also, 2 Baddies is an objectively terrible song - which is probably why it’s so popular.

The Boyz

Definitely the prettiest, how are they consistently so glorious on their visuals? Sunwoo keeps getting hotter, it’s patently unfair. But, oh my god, if you are going to have a group sing ballads, then bring 2nd (Highlight) or 3rd (BTOB) gens up there don’t use The Boyz (or SK for that matter). No one wants to hear unstable vocals, even if it’s a CNBLUE cover. Is it weird that The Boyz make me miss Seventeen? Same vibe... better syncopation. 17 is not as pretty tho.

Who is? 

Well, UNIQ of course. But I don’t wanna talk about that. 

Ateez

Jongho is the only 4th gen idol in existence who doesn’t need a mic even in a goddamn stadium. He is insane. But there is a reason the boy likes a handheld mic, because he takes his vocals seriously. And still the sound tech didn’t trust him enough to leave that mic hot? Frankly, it’s a crime that Jongho’s voice is wasted on a performance group. (Yes, I said it.) But Ateez did give the best stage of the night. They really are one of the industry’s hardest working groups at the moment. I’m a little worried they’re being pushed too much.

Enhyphen

Actually singing for a change *gasp* what will they do without auto tune? Ooof, I’m hella mean tonight. And... they seem to have been practicing their vocals since last time. Honestly? They lack the stage presence of some of the more experienced 4th gens. NCT fucking EATS up a stadium. Enhyphen looked a little sad up there by comparison.

MBC 2022 (New Year's showcase) 

Much better sound (mostly lip-synching) and most groups handle a showcase stage better than a stadium. 

The MC team was better on this one. 

Any time the Boyz and Ateez would like to dance together, I will be happy to watch it happen.

I’m not particularly interested in either of them, but Tempest and Kepler covering Pretty U was pretty damn cute. But younger boy groups + younger girl groups intermixing on stage always comes off as awkward. Dancers should be dancing together when they share a stage together. It’s weird when they are clearly afraid to touch each other. 

Hanbin is such sunshine, so pleased to see a Vietnamese idol at last.

As expected the bands doing live Krock had the best music performances. Well and the opera singers, of course. 

NCT’s Jungwoo is Taemin’s little brother, they look too much alike, you cannot persuade me otherwise. 

It’s a sin that Jeahyun hasn’t has a break away acting role yet. No babies, he really isn’t going to do us a BL. 

It’s always great when the surfeit of music shows at the end of the year forces a group like NCT to divide and conquer, because we get to see some of the lesser publicized members do some killer performing. 

NCT’s choreographer is phenomenal. Best in the biz? 

A sexy cover of Love Killa is fine but if you can’t go hard on Monsta X’s raps then why bother? This only made me want to go watch the original. Which I did. 

I’d like to see SK cover Monsta X but that’s about it. Maybe P1H.

Speaking of MX. Why did they cover a song where Kihyun (one of the most consistent voices in Kpop) mostly has to sing falsetto? What a damn waste. 

Fun to see IM getting more confident in his vocals but I’d still rather see the MX maknae line rap. 

And… thank you for doing an end of year stage Monsta X! Holding onto my beloved 3rd gens by the skin of my teeth here. Look I just love them, okay? Even down 2 members Monsta X goes harder than other groups, but effortlessly. They gave the best performance of my whole night, both shows, 6 hours of content and I’m just left wanting to watch MX comeback stages.  

Am I 3rd gen biased? 

Probably. 

Bite me. But only if you can do it as hard as Monsta X would. 

#kpop #just kpop stuff #kpop snark #Yeonjun #TXT #i'd don't stan any groups so don't comment with your weird obsession if you have one #because yech #Yuta #Doyoung #Sunwoo #UNIQ #Jongho #Monsta X #Kihyun

[whoseafraidofliloleme]

💫𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰 2023💫

2023 has been a year to say the least so lets get into this 😂. As usual this is in no particular order cause I cant handle putting these into a proper order.

𝐓𝐨𝐩 5 𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐬:

1. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐰 𝐂𝐚𝐟𝐞 (2022).

I watched this on a whim and boy am I glad I did. The female lead is so unhinged but in the best way and our main guy is so in love with her I cant. Literally this drama was such a fun time and everything connected together so well. Just watch this drama pls.

2. 𝐁𝐨 𝐑𝐚! 𝐃𝐞𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐡 {𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞} (2023).

Yoo In Na shines and I love the character growth that both the leads go through, everything that happens makes sense and it really does show that working on yourself isnt a linear process. There will be set backs but you can over come them. I tend to not care for side couples but I loved all of them in this, they were just hilarious or adorable.

3. 𝐓𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐖𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐧 (2023).

I wasnt going to watch this drama but thankfully instagram reels made me interested enough to give this a chance. I love all 4 of the leads, they are my babies and they deserve all the happiness in the world.

4. 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐅𝐥𝐲 𝐓𝐨𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐘𝐨𝐮 (2023).

This was such a cute, fun drama. I didnt expect to love it as much as I did, the family dynamics, friendships, everything was so well done and the 2 couples were the cutest.

5. 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞 (2023).

Literally Instagram reels made me watch this and I do not regret it. The melodrama, romance, revenge, plot twists... Everything was such a wild ride, I recommend that everyone watches it.

𝐓𝐨𝐩 5 𝐍𝐨𝐧 𝐓𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐨𝐫 𝐒𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐭 𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬:

1. 𝐒𝐮𝐩𝐞𝐫 ~ 𝐒𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧.

The irony, I always said that I wouldnt stan a group with more than 7 members 😂. Honestly I was just seeing too many funny reels about SVT and then I watched the Game Caterers videos without even knowing all of their names and Super was everywhere that I just fell into the rabbit hole that is Seventeen.

2. 𝐅𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 ~ 𝐉𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐨.

My bias came and she ate. I love this song and it showed in my top 2023 songs its at number 6... The top 5 are all Taylor obviously.

3. 𝐒𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 ~ 𝐉𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤.

He came and took over the world. Nothing more to say about that.

4. 𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐦 ~ 𝐄𝐧𝐡𝐲𝐩𝐞𝐧.

Yall need to stop sleeping on Enhas japanese discography. This song is just so sweet and wonderful. I cant with it.

5. 𝐔𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐧 ~ 𝐋𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐢𝐦.

I just loved this whole song and the album too. Next LSF comeback when?!.

𝐓𝐨𝐩 5 𝐓𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐨𝐫 𝐒𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐭 𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬:

So last time I only had the vault tracks but Speak Now was the album that made me a swiftie so not limiting myself to just the vault tracks this time.

1. 𝐇𝐚𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝.

This is my absolute favourite song. It is just such a masterpiece and can be related to in any situation.

2. 𝐄𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝.

I love this song so much, I have a one shot of the same name 😂.

3. 𝐒𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐅𝐥𝐲.

Im a hopeless romantic okay.

4. 𝐈𝐬 𝐈𝐭 𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐍𝐨𝐰.

Do I even need to explain myself with this.

5. 𝐒𝐥𝐮𝐭!.

Most definitely not what I was expecting but I love it so much.

5 𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝:

1. Bestie got married, shes happy and Im happy for her. It was a proper desi wedding and it was good fun.

2. I FINALLY graduated from University😂. Only took me like 5 years, one failed attempt and repeating my third year.

3. Made some great friends from the school I worked at, we bonded over how messed up the school we worked at is.

4. Managed to travel and have such great experiences.

5. Im happy with the fanfics I wrote this year. Still shocked that people actually read and enjoy the stuff I write but Im immensely grateful for all the love and support I get.

#year in review #year in review 2023 #kdramas #top 5 songs #top 5 taylor songs #5 positive things that happened #zainabs year in review #2023 review time #songs #positive things #the law cafe #perfect marriage revenge #when i fly towards you #twinkling watermelon #true to love #super seventeen #flower jisoo #seven jungkook #blossom enhypen #unforgiven lsf #haunted tv #enchanted tv #sparks fly tv #is it over now tv #slut! tv

[multi-writer]

Love in the Past - Chapter 2: The 80´s are back

Eddie x 2022! Reader

(time travel reader)

Chapter 1: 2022 > < Chapter 3: The Stranger

Summary: who would have thought that a simple investigation of events that happened more than 30 years ago would lead to an unforgettable and somewhat bizarre journey?.

Author´s note: thank you for liking this new project. I´m so happy a lot of you like it! <3 Here´s the second chapter! it´s longer than the last one!

(btw I finished editing this while listening to the BTS comeback and now I´m listening to Run BTS someone help me bc im screaming and vibing)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The road felt shorter than you expected, there were almost no cars in the highway, it was like a desert road. When your playlist was about to come to an end you entered a road surrounded by trees creating large shadows on the pavement. Driving for a few more minutes you arrived in Hawkins. The welcome sign looked so old and worn you wondered why no one had painted the sign. The houses looked dimly colored, there were few people walking the streets, several stores were closed and some were even abandoned. The town's shopping mall looked old but there were still stores inside trying to survive.

It was as if the town was stuck in an era and people didn't want to move on from there.

You decided to park your car in front of a closed video store. Some time ago this kind of stores had closed thanks to the dominance of the stream pages, if it was a hard blow for those nostalgic people who rented movies every Friday you couldn't imagine what the owners of these stores suffered.

You took your backpack from the passenger seat, disconnected your cell phone that was already fully charged and got out of the car to close it. The people who were nearby did not bat an eye at your visit, it was as if you were just another resident of the place. Arriving at a convenience store you found a map of the place for tourists, along with the map you took some candy to eat while you investigated the place. As you approached to pay you saw a man listening to the radio. Noticing your presence he started to count the total without even looking at you.

"Excuse me..." you began with a bit of shyness. The man in front of you looked at you with boredom. "You know what happened to the Lab near Hawkins?"

"Another dumb tourist coming to make videos?" the man said angrily. "understand, we don't want any more cameras here, so you can take your things and leave" you took the things you had bought in a bag and left.

When you got back to your car you decided to eat some of the candies you had bought while you opened the map. People were being hostile, who knows how many had gotten your idea to investigate personally. You stood for a while thinking and looking at the map not knowing what to do until something caught your attention. On the map there was a blank space.

As if it wanted to hide something.

Quickly you started your car and began to head to that place while you guided with the map, when you left Hawkins the trees appeared again and gave shade. When you were already arriving to the point where the map was blank, the road started to turn into dirt, you had crossed some trees and further ahead you saw a fence.

Stopping the car you realized that you had arrived at the laboratory. Outside the walls were graffitied, the fence was broken by some curious explorer of what the building was hiding and some windows were broken. Definitely an abandoned place.

As you got out of your car you realized there was a vibe you couldn't understand. You felt an emptiness in your chest when you looked at the building in front of you. As if someone, or something, was watching you. Your hands felt cold, your chest felt heavy and you felt that at any moment something was going to come out of the forest.

The silence was too noticeable.

You decided to walk to your car to check the things you had in your backpack when a small 'click' made you stop, it had been heard from one of the doors of the lab.

Another 'click' caught your attention again near the window.

It wasn't until the third 'click' that you quickly grabbed your things and ran to the entrance of the broken fence, ready to enter. You'd rather be indoors alone than in the middle of the forest where anyone could be.

Inside the fence you realized that it wasn't a long way between the entrance of the lab and where you were, so you decided to take your time walking. The grass was a bit dry and high, it had been years since nobody had given it its due maintenance, a rocky path was present and the closer you got to the entrance, the more it turned into a cement floor. Already in front of the entrance you thought for the last time if this was a good option.

There is no one, I don't think anything will happen" you said to yourself.

When you pushed the door of the entrance you realized that the door was open, someone who came before could have opened it, inside it was cleaner than you expected, apparently only graffiti were on the outside of the building, inside there was only a lot of dust and cobwebs that had been collected over the years that had been alone. The deeper you went the more it was confirmed that the place was a labyrinth, there were stairs everywhere so you decided to walk through the building from the bottom to the top.

Along with the door to the stairs down you came across the elevator, but you decided to take the stairs because there was a chance that years ago there was no light. The further you went down the less light came in so you opted to use the flashlight on your cell phone. When you looked down you realized that there were several floors but many of the deepest ones were impossible to enter because something had broken the stairs. Upon noticing this you decided to enter the last accessible floor to continue your plan to tour the place. Inside was a huge machine with crystals around it to observe and under this machine was a tunnel.

The small tunnel of your dream.

You approached it carefully as if it was going to trap you. You slowly crouched down to illuminate it with your flashlight but you could only see several spider webs. Where will this lead to?

You decided to be brave and go inside, the spider webs stuck easily to your clothes and the further you went the more you could remove them. A few minutes passed while you continued advancing, your hands, knees and back were hurting thanks to the position, for a moment you thought about whether it was better to go back, and when you were about to make the decision the other side of the tunnel was present so you decided to keep your backpack in your backpack to be able to crawl faster. When you arrived you realized that it had taken you to the same room where the machine was, as if the road had just turned you around.

What a waste of time.

On your way out you wiped your hands on your torn pants and walked to the second floor of the lab to pick up a candy you had left in your car. As you neared the entrance you could see red and blue lights.

The police had arrived.

Someone had probably seen you enter and called the police to get the crazy tourist out of the abandoned place, so you decided to leave the lab. There were two officers watching you through the window. As they saw you leave the lab they quickly approached.

"You know you just committed a crime by trespassing on private property, right?" asked the younger one as he grabbed your arm.

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to see what was going on" you said nervously.

"Well you're lucky we're the ones who found you and not the federal police, they're worse" continued the cop as he led you to his old car. "However, we have to take you to the station to collect your data.

"Please" you pleaded. "I promise not to come back, just don't lock me up".

"Get in the car" whoever was holding you pushed you into the car and closed the door with some force and then they both got in the car and drove you to the station. The road was silent, the trees around you seemed greener, but it could be the effect of the light. When you arrived at the town you saw that several stores that had been closed before were now open and people were coming in and out of them somewhat animated, everyone's clothes were colorful and everyone's hairstyles were somewhat extravagant. It didn't take long to get to the station.

When they parked, the policemen took you with them so that they could collect your data, inside there was some old furniture and a range of coffees. The cop who had done most of the talking sat you down in front of a desk and began typing on a huge computer.

"Wow... what an old computer" you commented in surprise making the policeman look at you strangely.

"It's about two years old but I don't think it's that old" he replied somewhat offended.

"Two years old? Well you should get a more... I don't know... current one" you said confused by the machine selection.

"I don't know what you are playing is but I don't care. Tell me, what is your name, who are your parents and why they don't seem to love you" commented the officer as he started typing.

"I am (y/n) and my parents do love me... as far as I know" you said angrily.

"As far as you know... but no parent would let their child wear ripped jeans".

"well it's very fashionable in case you didn't know" you folded your arms.

"for hippies, not for normal people" said the cop imitating you. "but I don't care about your inattention, I have to fill out your report..." he said concentrating on the huge computer. "If Hopper was here this would be easier, he likes to take care of kids like you".

"I'm not a kid anymore"

"And yet you dress like that of your own free will? You young people are very strange" said the policeman without looking at you, he printed a sheet of paper and gave it to you with a pen "write down your data where you have to".

You were writing down your data until you noticed something strange.

"Excuse me, the date is wrong, here it says 1986" you pointed it out, the policeman just looked at you strangely.

"Kid... we are in 1986..."

We are in what?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------Tag list:

@lillyof-thevalley @jedinerd27 @supergmbstuff @greekktragedyy @preciousbabypeterr @st3venluvbot @caitsymichelle13 @joukiworld

#eddie munson fluff #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x reader #stranger things imagine #stranger things one shot #eddie munson #eddie munson blurb #stranger things

[virtie333]

Day 29 - Life Day Damerey Celebration

Prompt: Cozy

Summary: Poe looks good in anything, but especially soft sweaters

Notes: I'm writing this with the idea that Rey is an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) like me.

On a separate note, I posted this last year on the day I lost my heart cat, Rodney. It was just another nail in the coffin of the year 2022. I still feel like I haven't processed his loss completely, I was so numb when it happened. Maybe I'll start going through his pictures someday soon.

AO3

Rey didn’t know how he did it.

It didn’t matter what color he wore, what pattern, what kind of material, or what season of the year, Poe always made sweaters look cozy and comfy. Cardigans, turtle necks, v-necks, even ugly Christmas sweaters looked great on him.

Rey envied how comfortable he was in them, as she herself had such sensitive skin that all but the softest of sweaters made her skin itch. She didn’t like anything tight around her neck, either, so though she knew she looked cute in turtle necks, she always felt as if she was suffocating in them, and if they weren’t super soft, it was pure torture to wear one. Poe knew about her dilemma, though, and never bought her anything but the softest of cardigans. They were always in bright colors, with no patterns, and they were warm and easy to slip on and off in case they became too prickly feeling at any time.

When Rey and Poe first stated dating, Poe was never picky about what kind of sweater he wore, nor did he really care how he looked in them. Not that he had to worry, since he looked great in anything. However, after he and Rey had been together for a few months and he started to learn her little quirks, her likes and dislikes, and the reason behind them, he started paying attention to what he wore. Not for any aesthetic reasons, but for Rey’s comfort.

Suddenly, his t-shirts, dress shirts, and of course his sweaters, had to be super soft. He wanted Rey to be comfortable touching him, therefore she needed to be comfortable touching his clothing. Rey didn’t notice what he was doing at first. All she knew was that she was never physically irritated by anything while she was near Poe. Her brain slowly began to connect that fact that everything he wore on his torso was of fine material, oftentimes smooth, and always soft. The rough sweaters he used to wear were gone, as were the stiff, starchy shirts.

When she began to suspect he was doing it for her, she was too afraid to ask him outright. What if she was just imagining things? What if he was just realizing he was more comfortable in that kind of clothing? But one night, as he was dropping her off at her apartment after a movie, she decided she had to ask him.

His coat was open, so she ran her fingers gently down his chest, appreciating the downy feel of the sweater he was wearing underneath the coat.

“Is this for me?” she asked softly.

He tilted his head questioningly. “Is what for you?”

She felt her face heat, but she pushed forward. “The sweater,” she said. “Your other shirts these past few weeks. They’re softer than what you usually wear.”

He looked away, biting his lip, then he smiled and looked back at her. “I wasn’t sure you’d notice.”

“It is for me, isn’t it?” she nodded. “Because I’m too sensitive.”

“You’re not too sensitive,” he denied. “Sensitive is just what you are. It’s not a bad thing.”

“Isn’t it?” she asked. “If it’s making you change who you are?”

He laughed softly. “Rey, my choice in clothing isn’t who I am. My sense of style has no definition. Besides, I’m kind of getting overindulged by wearing all this soft stuff.”

Rey huffed a laugh. “More comfortable?”

He shook his head. “Nope. You touch me more often, now. It’s spoiling me.”

“What if?” Rey started to say.

“What if, what?”

“What if I wanted to touch you even more?” she said with a shy smile. “Without that soft stuff between us?”

He looked at her for a long moment, his eyes intense.

“Then you better invite me inside.”

Rey stepped aside and invited him inside.

#fanfiction #damerey #jedipilot #poe x rey #fluff #highly sensitive person

[marengogo]

UGH!-6: But like … Did They Stutter?

Yet To Come - by BTS  [Proof]

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

–🐺–🐺–🐺–

…

Given that even my coworkers, who generally REALLY DON’T CARE/KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT BTS except for the ones who now have started listening to some of their songs thanks to yours truly, came to me saying “So. BTS. They are disbanding uh? …” the day after FESTA 2022 dinner, I’d say it wouldn’t be a gross generalization to assume that at least every ARMY, OT7, x/y/z-biased, solo, anti, shipper, whatever-you-prefer-to-be-called, saw FESTA 2022 dinner. Right? 

If you haven’t I’d highly recommend you to do so but as always you feel free to do you as the boys did explain everything that they could at the time, which is pretty much what is happening right now. They also made a couple of sentiments and statements clear, and I, for one, am writing this post even though I am painfully aware that the boys are never going to see it, yet I still wish to put out this message in the universe, maybe its energy will manifest and reach them somehow, as I would really like them not to think that we all have poor listening and reading comprehension. 

BTS’ CHAPTER 1: THE END OF AN ERA.

The Beatles. The Jackson 5. Menudo. New Edition. Backstreet Boys. One Direction.

According to the following Wiki definition this is what they all have in common:

A boy band is loosely defined as a vocal group consisting of young male singers, usually in their teenage years or in their twenties at the time of formation.[1] Generally, boy bands perform love songs marketed towards girls and young women. Many boy bands dance as well as sing, usually giving highly choreographed performances. South Korean boy bands usually also have designated rappers 🤡 LOL LOL LOL 🤡.

That being said, with hindsight, we can add/examine a couple of aspects, which have surfaced through the years and further represent boy bands. For example, the fact that at the very beginning boy bands were usually the union of a group of friends, or classmates, basically, people who already knew each other. Let’s fast forward a couple of decades, and we see that the music industry catches on to the fact that waiting for the next phenomenal boy band to magically appear is not sustainable and that is when they realise that they can actually make the groups themselves. So starts the scouting and the auditioning with the sole goal of slapping together supposedly talented boys who are complete strangers to one another, but who at the very least, have a desire to become rich and famous. “Win-win”. 

Moving on, around the same time, we'll have to leave the West and take a trip to East-Asia, where the boy band industry has had an even bigger eureka moment. What they’ve realized is that even though these boys may not have the affinity of a band of boys who already know each other, from a business point of view they can easily be molded into whatever it is on demand at the very moment, afterall, everybody loves a good story, and even better if it comes with a great soundtrack. So what better than creating a narrative for these boy bands, each member would have a role/character associated and fans can not only enjoy the music but also follow a sort of “storyline” as they watch for example the silent masculine strong member interact with the cute feminine talkative one. Even greater “win”, brr brr!.

Now, in an ideal world, all that reasoning would make sense and bring about endless profit, but we don’t live in such a place do we? The whole purpose of a business is to make money and if money is what you base your every decision on, sooner or later, you are bound to encounter problems that money can’t solve without changing things irreversibly and in most instances, for the worst. The thing about grouping ambitious strangers with the intent of becoming rich (usually more for the company) and famous (usually more for the artists) is that if you don’t have a common goal all you are essentially doing is building a glorified House of Cards. 

And don’t get me wrong, Longevity, is something that this type of companies, and the artists themselves, could only dream to achieve but never actually aim at. Nobody does, because it is very much a pipe dream type of thing. In fact, for the most part, the company's goal is it to at least have one amazing CD, make fans go crazy for a year or two, so that they can spend some money, and then if it doesn’t work anymore, the artist would hope to have garnered enough fame to allow them to start perhaps a solo career, or at least stay within the business, while the group inevitably disbands and the company moves on to the next group. Rinse and repeat ad infinitum. This has been the blueprint, and it was indeed the same blueprint used to form Bangtan Sonyeondan. 

It was the same blueprint, but Bang SiHyuk was a visionary that had goals of his own, with a knack for unusual experimentation 🤡. And exactly like a Mad Scientist, if you will, he played around with what he believed to be “slightly usual ingredients”. However, what he didn’t quite know at the time, was that these “ingredients” were actually very unusual. Some of the “ingredients” didn’t follow instructions, some very quickly dropped their assigned character, and some even had secret jobs but what they all had, and he probably didn’t account for or maybe he did, who knows right? was an extraordinary fighting spirit, which pulled up strong when it became clear that it was Bangtan vs the World. These boys had something to prove. They had somehow found their common goal.

As we all should know, early Bangtan, due to Big Hit's lack of reputation and funds, became the industry’s punching bag. This would have normally caused an “explosion in the lab”, instead, it created something new. The boys were fired up with this fiery will to fight back. They took the negativity and turned it into artistic fuel and did all of that while naturally learning about each other and consequently depending on each other solely. Somehow, these boys ended up actually liking each other. They kinda fought like members of a band made of family members, but had the passion of members of a band of strangers. They were an anomaly. 

An anomaly in a world that had rapidly become full of “anomalies”. Your everyday listener was, yes, looking for good music, yes, looking for something new and entertaining, but when they realised that they could also get someone who they could relate to; … 🤯🤯🤯. And so the “ingredients'' began to mutate. Along the way, they found their true calling, while adapting to their environment and understanding their receptors fandom, which also understood them in return, creating a never before seen bond, Tannies & ARMY, that brought them to where they are now; a world where THEY are the blueprint has anyone else noticed the number of boy/girl bands that got back together. 

These boys have created something unique. 

Something that other “Mad Scientists” have ever since been trying so hard to recreate in “their labs” and so far to no avail. This “something” is not only insanely lucrative, but also so emotionally rare, and has a chance at Longevity. These are boys who trust and genuinely love each other, but because they are also human, and have learned to be honest with themselves, they also know their limitations. And like they’ve always done, they sat down, exposed the problem, and tried to find a solution. And even though they didn’t have to, they also sat down with us, FESTA 2022 dinner, and quite clearly explained their solution. But, as always, the world managed to take their words and turn them into whatever sold better on the front page of the next morning paper we’ll get to that later on or/and whatever better fits their personal agendas. 

BTS’ CHAPTER 2: A LIMITED AMOUNT OF TIME, WITH AN UNLIMITED NUMBER OF POSSIBILITIES.

Have any of you experienced moments where you just wanted some time to yourself? Like, you love your friends, your family, your job, your everything, but at the same time, you are mentally exhausted and you need out for as long as you can afford? This is usually what most people use holidays for, you might be thinking. But the type of out I’m talking about is the kind where you want to be able to pause your present life, start another life for a while, and then go back to your past life kinda out. Basically, a “have your cake and eat it” type of out. 

That’s what I feel the boys are trying to experience and I ain’t mad at it, not one bit. Cause, let's be real, most of us regular people can’t really afford to even think of experiencing such a thing without MAJOR repercussions to our everyday life. But not only do I feel like they deserve it, but if it also allows them to reach their goals, and solve their problems, it would be like killing two birds with one stone. I mean, they really are not hurting anyone, by wanting to have a chance to experience life outside BTS other than those who are setting themselves up to be hurt that is 🤡.  

October 2022 rolled around and we got the following:

This theoretically gives a precise time frame to BTS’ CHAPTER 2. Let’s say that being back together means that they will physically be together and do a WLIVE on the 31st of December 2025, that means that, if we assume their serving period to be 18 months, the latest any member can enlist is the 30th of June 2024 (which I calculated considering the 30th of December 2025 being their last day). Obviously, I don’t know if their plan is to be together by the end of December 2025 and start working on a new album in 2026. Or be together say by August 2025 and ready for a tour in 2026 with a new album; only time can tell. But for the purpose of this post: BTS’ CHAPTER 2 began on the 15th of June 2022 and could end on the 31st of December 2025.

SO, that being said, a couple of things happened on the 15th of June 2022 that I would like to point out and a couple of things, define a couple of others, and I would like for people to remember one particular thing:

THINGS TO POINT OUT:

Some OT7 ARMY decided to dip and come back when BTS comes back to be 7, so after MS.

Other OT7 and/or x/y/z-biased ARMY decided to support each member’s solo endeavour.

Last but abso-fucking-lutely not least, SOLOS FINALLY GOT THEIR TIME TO SHINE AND PUSH THEIR AGENDA, along side antis.

THINGS TO DEFINE:

FAMILY BOY BAND MEMBER or FBBMs: Is what I will call boy bands with members that already knew each other, or were already related, etc etc etc.

STRANGERS BOY BAND MEMBERS or SBBMs: Is what I will call the type of bands that were put together through an audition, selection, etc etc etc.

ONE THING TO REMEMBER OR REALISE:

There was a point in time when BTS was seriously considered by NOBODY. Many knew about them, but still wanted nothing to do with them. Some that knew about them, went on and treated them like trash. Even though they had the talent, it took their fandom at the time to be persistent in order for people to give them a chance. In short, differently from many FBBMs and SBBMs who eventually ended up splitting up after reaching fame, BTS experienced having nobody but themselves and their label and fame came AFTER THAT. Because everyone was a nobody before becoming somebody, but how many were nobodies, who were constantly shoved down by semi-bodies and ignored by somebodies before they became THE BODIES themselves? So yeah, they may be smiling to people that harmed them in the past, and they might have decided to forgive and forget in other instances, but as real and intended as the experience they had were, you can bet that so are the choices that they make nowadays. A method to madness.

If you are a businessperson like yours truly, or have dealt with managing a business, you probably know that it is like in Love and War; all is fair. Obviously, this brings about injustice right away, but this is a known fact, no matter how clean you are, if you come and play in a muddy place, what do you think is gonna happen? Not to say that everyone is trying to get down and dirty, in fact, there are people that try their best to keep clean, but the reality of the fact is that you are still playing in mud. Yet, there is a difference between purposely trying to suffocate people in those muddy waters and trying to simply play by the rules, harm as less people as possible in the process and going home to live another day and start all over again the next day. 

Life is about balance, that’s why I like the color gray so much, it is the balance between black and white. And even though the Tannies are our beloved artists, it is important not to forget that in their own right they are also businessmen. I’m sure they want nothing else than to be there for ARMY always in theri best capacities, but this is not a charity, their lives, and the people who work for them, depend on the amount of money they make; this needs to not be forgotten. Now, how they make this money, all depends on the muddy field they play in, but from what I can see they really try their darn best to keep as clean as they can and harm as few people as humanly possible. 

ALL THAT to say that, when you experience having NOTHING with a group of PEOPLE, you will TREASURE THAT GROUP OF PEOPLE. Hence, ONCE AGAIN and it will not be the last time, I’ll keep hammering this, Chapter 2 wasn’t brought by for them to spread their wings and keep the fuck out, but as a means for them to have the experience they each want to have so that they can eventually be together again, healthily in order ot achieve Longevity which I will also get to towards the end of this post, don’t worry. And this brings me right to the current issues on the fandom-streets: FAVORITISM & SOLOS.

So at the moment “JUNGKOOK and his radio play” are the most recent subject. I will not go in depth, as I’ll be damned if I brought up all THE UNNECESSARY energy that has been riding with this valid topic. In fact, one thing that I found very helpful in understanding the radio play issue, was the following post by Ororo and Artiechikoo: 

​​https://www.tumblr.com/chikooritajjk/722232413519052800/so-youll-are-basically-saying-since-the-industry?source=share

Now, once you’ve read that, you’ll understand that the ACTUAL ISSUE HERE IS: WHY DIDN’T HYBE SEND LIKE CRAZY TO BE PLAYED ON THE RADIO, and that ladies, gentlemen and distinguished enbies, is a legit ass question. However, none of the members have anything to do with ANY of that, or with anything related really. During Festa 2022 dinner, they all told us the order in which their albums were coming out, which would indicate that they all sat down months beforehand, and all discussed what they wanted to do during their chapter 2. I would also dare to say that they also all were responsible for their projects, promotions and every aspect of their chapter 2, but that is just me.

ANYWAYS, back to the Jimin radio play issue, which, once again, is A VALID TOPIC, that unfortunately is being muddied from all the shit that solos are bringing forth that has NOTHING to do with anything. Is like the story of the boy who cried wolf, when the actual wolf arrived, nobody was there to help. When you are still stuck on cakes, on accusing members of sabotage, or any moving thing at that, THE REAL PROBLEM WILL BE OVERLOOKED.

Also, just putting this out there, if you actually think that ANY OF THE MEMBERS is out there actively sabotaging other members, then rest assured that you are also stanning a phonie-ass person. If you took a second to check out every other member, for every member who is being sabotaged by members, there is a story about that same member sabotaging another member. MEANING that we would all be supporting a band of phonies, who wouldn’t think twice to backstab their band mates; ALL OF THEM. 

So when, for example, you are accusing JK of throwing JM under the bus, or in the mud, stop one second, breathe, and TRY to put yourself in JK’s shoes. Imagine for example, spending a whole day reacting to JM content, or even just the following:

And then, imagine not giving a fuck about him: HOW DOES THAT WORK EXACTLY? Yes we don’t like Scooter Braun, yes we don’t agree with MANY OTHER THINGS, but it is vital to know how to address the correct issue and not just burn EVERYTHING DOWN, or/and involve not concerned parties. So when for example, the company is to blame, then the fucking company is to blame only, and not everything you would like to blame along with it. 

I 👏🏾DO 👏🏾 NOT 👏🏾 CARE 👏🏾 FOR 👏🏾 SOLOS 👏🏾 IN  👏🏾ANY 👏🏾 WAY 👏🏾 OR 👏🏾 FORM 👏🏾. 

Not too long ago, I was making this example with someone who told me that there was maybe a valid reason for people to become solos, but to me it felt like people saying they had a valid reason for becoming Nazi; would I support a Nazi, no matter what reason? 🤡🤡🤡THERE IS ALWAYS ANOTHER WAY, and unfortunately, keep suffering for a while longer, is one of them 🤡🤡🤡Becoming a Nazi WILL NEVER BE THE ANSWER for me, in the same way in which BECOMING A SOLO WILL NEVER BE THE ANSWER. When you become a solo you actively decide to care fuck all about all the other members. Now the person you want to support, loves and wants to keep building something with the people you decide are expendable, so, once again: HOW DOES THAT WORK EXACTLY?  Being able to pinpoint the actual issue is hard, it is confusing, it is stressful, but it is essential, please please please understand that.

BTS’ CHAPTER 3: BTS IS ENDGAME. PERIOD.

… I mean, I really don’t want to sound like a broken record so let me allow them to say it:

💙:

Here is the link to the full article: https://www.instagram.com/p/CpgkLqbtEKB/?hl=en

🩷:

🖤:

❤️:

💛:

💚:

💜:

AAAAAND, Except for Yoongi who is being rightfully private precious:

ALL OF A SUDDEN, I have a feeling that Yoongi got a “matching tattoo with the rest of the rapline, so his tattoo is somewhere on one of his legs …These boys have spent YEARS OF THEIR LIFE fighting against all sorts of prejudice, hate, nonsense, and more. It used to be from those who never gave them a chase, but now it seems that the adversary-wave is coming from within the fandom. YEAH IT LOOKS BAD RIGHT ABOUT NOW. But let's emphasize the LOOKS part of that sentence, because Social media “ARMY” aren’t IT. 

When you spend too much time on any SM, it will feel like that’s what ARMY is ALL about but I can guarantee you that there are so many ARMY out there who don’t know or care about the noise and just mind their business and keep streaming and advocating for the right causes. There are ARMY who do their best to support the boys in the best way they can, even if they can’t afford to buy every single piece of merch. 

There are also ARMY who are waiting for the boys to come back and also those people who have no idea yet, but will suddenly become ARMY in 2026 when THE BIGGEST COMEBACK THIS PLANET WOULD HAVE EVER WITNESSED, will kick off after they announce their world tour. In conclusion, as always, DO AS YOU SEE FIT, but if you decide that, believing and following people who think that having the boys competing against each other for future solo supremacy is where it’s at, all I’d “cutely” have to say is that:

THEY DIDN’T STUTTER: OT7 IS ENDGAME.

HAPPY ARMY DAY 🫰🏾.

Always respectfully yours,

Marengo. 

#Marengo Goes UGH! #HAPPY ARMY DAY #They Didn't Stutter #OT7 ARMY

[alinaastarkov]

NEW YEARS CLEAN-UP 🎊

rules: unburden yourself from the abandoned WIPS collecting dust in your folder and share 5 gifs, then tag five people. tagged by: @gwenpendragns tagging: @laylakeating @ughmerlin @usershelby @azoraahai @yenvengerberg (totally ignore me if you've already done this 🩷)

ok so to be honest i usually delete the entire set the minute i decide to abandon something so this was quite hard 😭 therefore i may be slightly cheating by including stuff from 2022 but let's agree to ignore that anyway 😁

rhaenyra + thee book quote

started making this while hotd s1 was airing and just... never finished it rip </3 none of the other gifs came together and i then got swamped with uni work so i might continue it still, even tho the colouring definitely needs fixing lol

sab + chess pieces

another one i made while the show was airing and uni got in the way, plus the cancellation made me doubt if i should continue. also another one i would completely change if i decided to continue lol this layout was not doing it for me and i would like to do something more interesting with the text for sure

amita suman as nymeria sand

another one for my sab actors as asoiaf characters that i started AGES AGO and never finished whoops! i did stop and plan to use s2 footage for this set and then forgot (i'm sensing a pattern here)

lumax + out of the woods

this has been in my drafts for way longer than i care to admit. overall realised i hated the colouring, hated the text, even hated the footage i was working with so... who knows if i will continue this ever but i think this made me realise giffing stranger things might not be for me 😅

becoming elizabeth + the 1

save me period drama cancelled after one season... save me... 🥲 fr tho started this, hated the colour i chose, then i hated the text, then none of the colouring would match between gifs... story of my life it seems. i would like to continue this because i love them but... we'll see :/

#wish i had more interesting ones to show #but luckily i think most of the really fun stuff i usually end up finishing lol #tag games

[kwonzoshi]

Top 10 Best BL Boys of 2022

10.) Mangkorn [Big Dragon]

- I’ll tell you right now, when I started Big Dragon, I did not expect to like either of the characters. Yet SOMEHOW this tall lanky fuck ended up winning me over. He’s complicated, can’t communicate for shit and has so much love to give.  

9.) Tankhun [Kinnporsche]

- Where do I even start... this man is funny, fashionable and loves his family/friends deeply. He gets written off as crazy and is EXTREMELY misunderstood but has the BIGGEST brain in that family. I mean he truly holds the only braincell in the compound. This man deserves so much more than he is given, and I love him to pieces.

8.) Nuea [Secret Crush on You]

-The definition of his crazy matches my crazy. The way he accepted and loved Toh for everything he was. NEVER asked him to change and met him wherever he was at, incredible. He always stood firm on his feelings, even when he wasn’t sure Toh felt the same. 

7.) Wasuwat [The Eclipse]

- He was cute, artsy, funny and smart as hell. I respected the hell out of him for not accepting whatever the fuck KhanThua tried to do at the beach and I respect his quick thinking even more. He is loyal and will do anything for his friends. Even put more work on his plate. 

6.) Khondiao [Cutie Pie]

- Literal ray of sunshine. Though most of the story he seems weak, he is strong as hell. He handles himself, Hia Yi, Kuea and so much more with grace. He is an amazing friend and an even better partner. His patience with Yi deserves to be rewarded. I mean that. 

5.) Jao [Secret Crush on You]

- Literal ray of sunshine number 2. Watching his story develop and him gain confidence in himself was one of the highlights of the show. As a friend, he was ten toes down for his Alphabet Mafia and I love him for that. 

4.) Payu [Love in the Air]

- Y’all may disagree with me but this man is one of the best boyfriends in all of BL. He took Rain under his wing, and while the beginning of their relationship wasn’t the best, he really did everything to make sure Rain was being careful and responsible. He also lays the pipe down, what more can someone want?

3.) Ayan [The Eclipse]

- He is the definition of “I’m hurt but I’ll heal you.” The way he cared for Akk even though he could’ve easily just let him rot, is why he is top 3. He knew what Akk was doing from the beginning but he noticed that he was suffering, just like he was. The way he was with his supposed ‘enemy’ just shows that his character was pure of heart and just trying to find closure. Green flags everywhere.

2.) Akk [Enchanté]

- I’M ONLY GOING TO SAY THIS ONCE, AKK DESERVED BETTER. This man shoved all of his feelings to the side to help the man he has loved since they were children. Even though it hurt. Even though it was KILLING him. He was supportive and loyal. The way he forgave Theo and just continued to give him the same energy... he is incredible. And the way he was waiting to fulfill promises they made to each other as kids?! Where do I find an Akk?!

1.) Pluem [Ghost Host, Ghost House]

- I will take ZERO criticisms or arguments. Pluem Pitiphong is THE best BL boy of 2022. He was loving, understanding, gentle, caring and just everything he could be for Kevin. He had his low moment but he’s human and it was honestly, mild. He loved Kevin with every fiber of his being from the moment he met him. HE WAITED FOR THREE YEARS FOR HIM. Patiently. Quietly. He faced his fears and worked on himself to be the best he could be for the man he loved and I respect the absolute hell out of him for that. He is the GREENEST of green flags and this is why he is number 1 on my list. 

HONORABLE NON-BL MENTION:

Yeon Sieun [Weak Hero Class 1]

- I have to mention him because while it WASN’T a BL, there were gay undertones. Sieun was loyal and devoted as a friend. He was willing to put his safety and his life on the line for Sooho and even risked jail time for him. He went from ‘couldn’t be bothered’ to ‘if you touch a hair on his head, i will kill you’ and I LOVE THAT. He is quiet, intelligent and full of so much love for the people he cares about. He was deeply misunderstood and even then, he wasn’t full of hate or resentment. He just took care of business. 

🚨Disclaimer:

This is simply my personal opinion from the shows I watched this year. This isn’t to say there aren’t more that could fit this category, these are just MY choices for my list. Thank you ♡

#big dragon #big dragon the series #mangkorn #mangkornyai #kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #tankhun theerapanyakul #secret crush on you #secret crush on you the series #nuea #nueatoh #jao #skyjao #the eclipse #the eclipse the series #wasuwat #Ayan #ayanakk #ayeakk #cutie pie #cutie pie the series #khondiao #yidiao #love in the air #love in the air the series #payu #phayu #payurain #phayurain #enchante

[gloster]

FAVORITE FANFICS OF 2022

What is up, you guys? HAPPY 2023. We did it. We somehow made it through 2022 that, in 2 words: TRIED IT. 2022 tried all of us in so many ways than one. Emotionally, mentally, physically, and beyond.

We all had ways of coming up with ways to get through the rough year. Friends & family (both blood & chosen). Music. Movies and shows. And of course fanfics.

The world can be turning, burning, but at least fanfics can always be counted to take us away from harsh reality and bring us into the sweet world w/our fav characters, OTPs falling in love dozens of ways.

Every year fanfic writers both familiar & new to me blow me away with their talent, their writing, their brilliance. And every year I always do this traditional post to give them their flowers.

If you're interested in past lists, here are the ones for 2021, 2020, 2019, and 2018

Without further ado, here are my favorite fanfics of 2021

1). prince & prince by Authoress aka @kiribakus (tododeku)

Summary: Note to self: don't accidentally fall in love with a prince who's in an arranged marriage keeping your kingdoms from declaring war against each other. Especially when you're spying on him as his manservant.

Jaw. On. The. Floor. Jaw. Still. On. The. Floor. This story is the reason why this post is coming January 1st instead of the December 31st. I stayed up till almost 3 in the morning to finish this story and my jaw was on the floor when I read it. My jaw is still on the ground as I write up this review. I buddy-read this w/my bestie @littlenightdragon & our mind are still blown by what we read.

This story has been a long time coming. This is considered the classic fanfic in the tododeku community. It's took me while to get to it since there are so many stories I wanted to get through, but I finally did. Quite frankly, because this is such a popular fanfic, I don't know what else I can say that other readers haven't said in their own rec posts.

However I will happily say this one lives up to the hype. I repeat: LIVES 👏 UP 👏TO 👏THE👏 HYPE! The writing, the dynamics between Izuku & Shouto, the smut that was just 🔥🔥🔥, and again I APPLAUD @kiribakus for how the story was done. This is loosely based off the Captive Prince trilogy, so if you're familiar with the trilogy, you definitely see the elements of the story while also having this fanfic be its own thing. Not an easy thing to do, so massive kudos 👏👏

2). The Pakhan's Jewel by theangryuniverse (viktuuri/victuuri; mpreg)

Summary: No one had ever heard the omega speak.

It was not that they had never heard him at all. They had all heard the voice of the omega at some point – a gentle laugh, for example, a quiet hum, or, quite more often, lustful cries and moans, caused by the Pakhan himself. But the omega never spoke, and never deigned to even look at them, for they all were beneath him, and mattered less than the dirt beneath his feet.

For they all knew that Katsuki Yuuri's heart belonged to one man only - and that man was Viktor Nikiforov, the Pakhan himself.

Someone had said, I believe it was either here on Tumblr or Twitter, that the YOI fandom is keeping itself alive w/fanfics, fanart, and posts on our favorite ice-skating couple. I 1000000000%. And this fanfic is proof of it.

Oh where oh where do I begin? Let's start with this. We have ABO and a Mafia AU with an established happily-married couple who give the same intense, overly-passionate in love energy as Gomez and Morticia Addams.

I repeat an ABO Mafia AU story with a couple who give off the same intense, passionate happily-married energy as Gomez and Morticia Addams, which I needed so badly and was greatly needed. It was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good. I ate it up like candy. I devoured every chapter.

My favorite element of the story is how Viktor is the Pakhan, he's the boogey-man that keep enemies and allies alike on their toes. Yet Yuuri is the one who keeps him on his toes- and knees-and however Yuuri decides to see his husband fit. It was sooooooo good. Like if Yuuri told Viktor to burn the world, he'd do so happily. He was such a simp for his husband the same way Gomez is for Mortica and I ATE IT UP.

And I'll definitely check out more stories by this author & suggest you do so too.

3). Winter Song by proantagonist (viktuuri/victuuri)

Summary: The set of Yuuri’s mouth softened into a private smile as Victor squeezed his knee beneath the table. His hands were bare, free from the gloves he so often wore when they were together on the rink, and the heat of his palm burned straight through the denim of Yuuri’s jeans. He slipped his own hand beneath the table and found Victor’s. Hidden from sight, their fingers began to flirt and play. A secret conversation all their own that needed no words.

Yuuri was aware that at some point—a moment in time he couldn’t quite place—Victor had become his boyfriend.

There wasn’t a single instant when it happened. It was a slow awareness, as if Victor had silently been asking the question for months now, and Yuuri had been giving him the answer a little more with each passing day.

Another YOI story? Why, yes, yes it is. Was this another one that gave you all the feels? Yes, yes it did. This one- all I can say is 10 10 10 10 10 across the board. This one was canon, in a way that was more so behind the scenes/deleted scenes that the creators didn't want us to see but the fanfic writer was like Yeah....FUCK THAT, we're getting those bonus scenes.

In this one, we see Viktor and Yuuri develop more as a couple while also coming into their own. I love how it's equal. Like yes, even though Yuuri has social anxiety, Viktor has his own issues with self-worth, past relationships, and expectations. The author noticably took time with the relationship where we see them become a stronger team, better friends, and a sweeter couple.

Such a joy to read.

4). The Roundabout Way of Fate by @itsmyartfam (tododeku)

Summary: “His quirk will get attention no matter where he goes. But if he ends up working with heroes then he’ll have their protection. That’s why I said most doctors and nurses have minor healing quirks- because people with powerful ones often catch the attention of heroes, who will in turn protect them from any villains who also have their eye on them.”

“Oh! Okay. Okay… this… this is a lot…. Heh, and I was worried he’d breathe fire…”

“Don’t ever forget- Izuku’s quirk is a good thing. He just needs to be a bit more careful than most children.”  _________

Midoriya Izuku wants to become a hero. Midoriya Izuku is born with a healing quirk. He learns how to save people a different way.

You ever read a story that's so canon yet not like canon, but you wish it could be canon? Like if you had a chance to redo canon, you'd pick an alternative. Well, for this one, if I could make it canon, I would in a heartbeat. Like it was among one of the first fanfics I read in the beginning of the year, but the fact I still think of it fondly proves how much of a great, fun read it was.

There are so many things I love about this fanfic. Obviously the writing, obviously the pining that goes on with both Shouto and Izuku. But I think the main things are I love how Izuku has a quirk, a Healing quirk at that, that seems so minimal to society but he's like, NAH You're not gonna push me around and treat me like I'm delicate flower. There were even scenes where he had to remind Shouto of that, and it was too satisfying to read.

But most of all, I love the platonic relationship between Izuku and Bakugo. This is one where you can tell there is a bond there, but it's much healthier with boundaries clearly set. One where Izuku isn't afraid to call Bakugo out & Bakugo actually thinks things before before just exploding.

I ADORED IT. Just as much as I adored the author @itsmyartfam for making Izuku a healer. They had expressed they dealt with backlash from other readers who didn't agree with the quirk, but I thought it was very fitting. Given Izuku's personality, his caring nature, his compassion, healing is perfect match.

5). flawless by @irishseeeker (kathony/kanthony)

Summary: Kate Sharma is the diamond of the season.

Viscount Anthony Bridgerton plans on courting and marrying the Diamond of the season.

Kate is going to make that as difficult as possible.

First off I like to give massive thanks & props to @irishseeeker for doing the damn thing and giving me what I wanted. Me & my besties @littlenightdragon & @kila09 all agree on several things

Season 2 KICKED ASS. Season 2 carried. Simone & Jonathon did what needed to be done and carried season 2 on their bare backs.

Season 2, much as it is amazing & gave me my new favorite OTP, would've been better if Kate had been made the diamond. It definitely would've given the Queen the buzz she wanted. It would've been made the season more better- not to mention take away the barely-there love triangle they were trying for and failed at EPICLY.

The fact @irishseeeker as if they could hear my thoughts took the idea and run with it, they have my eternal gratitude. Currently it is a WIP, but y'all should definitely check out because you'll be devouring and begging for more. I know I did.

6). Bottom by Anonymous (kathony/kanthony)

Summary: By day, Anthony Bridgerton is in control. He eats at exactly the same time every morning, he exercises for exactly the prescribed amount of time, at work he never misses a deadline or forgets to show a friendly face, and at home he's a dedicated son and big brother, always there when his family needs him. His life since his father's passing has been about control.

By night, Anthony is ready to let go. He doesn't want to think. He doesn't want to plan. He wants to let go and let someone else take the wheel. (Or the dog leash.)

This is Anthony's journey into being a sub.

Before this story, I never really read femdom unless the couple is a queer-sapphic couple. Now after this story? I just want more. Especially if it's Kate being that dom. Like please give it to me. Please please please.

Mind you, we don't get much of Kate or kanthony/kathony until the last chapter. The beginning is more so Anthony and Simon, but the main thing I love about this story is how it does explore Anthony's trauma with being the oldest, having so much expectations placed on his shoulders. Which is what the show did hint at, but didn't go deeper. In this story, we did. And I appreciated it.

7). All That series by @himawaribees (Itafushi)

Summary: Fushiguro Megumi and Itadori Yuuji first meet at a frat party and proceed to have lots and lots of sex. Like, a silly amount of sex. Some (the author) might say they have too much sex.

Follow itafushi's journey as they fall for each other and slowly, eventually get together!

This was an unexpeted I found on Tumblr, I believe. I've been rocking in the Jujusten Kaisen fandom for awhile- also highly recommend the anime as well as the manga. But as long as I've been rocking in the fandom, I didn't have a definite ship. Until now.

Sometimes, all it takes is a good fanfic to kinda show you how well a ship can be. Which is what happened here.

I've always liked Megumi and Yuuji's dynamic in the show. Definitely gives sunshine & grump energy. Eager pup & annoyed cat. But this story, along with many from the author proved how that dynamic can work even more than as a couple. The way I just devoured the first story of the series, then the 2nd one, then the next, and the next till I finished what's been poste & am eagerly awaiting the next update.

Honorable mentions:

Sweet Tooth

Trust Me

Slow Down

8). Like, Comment, and Romance by @xskyll (tododeku)

Summary: In the hero community, it’s common for popular heroes to have merchandise for sale. Amongst these items are a few staples: t-shirts, figurines, and, of course, replicas of their costumes. This is where Deku, a well-known YouTuber, comes into play. Deku’s Hero Analysis is a series where the host, Deku, dresses up in official pro hero costumes, then does an analysis of each hero and reviews some of their merchandise. Joining him is Hito-nyan, the sarcastic cameraman who never shows his face and loves to push Deku’s buttons. And watching them is pro hero Todoroki Shouto, who absolutely, without a doubt, does not have a crush on Deku. Except actually he does, which is fine, because it turns out they have a friend in common and getting to meet the adorable YouTube star is more likely to happen than he ever would have dreamed.

Midoriya Izuku + Youtuber. A combination that never crossed my mind and never seemed so right until now. Like second, I started reading the story, I was like WHY DIDN'T THIS COMBO CROSSED MY HEAD BEFORE. It makes total sense, especially with how in depth his hero analyses are and how much of a fanboy Izuku.

Along with Izuku being a total fanboy, we also have Shouto who becomes a massive (obsessed) fan with Izuku's channel, and quickly afterwards with the boy himself.

I love how we got the unexpected duo that was Shouto and Ochako, a duo I didn't realized I needed until now.

9). Most Favorite Bedtime Story by Sasunaru (drarry; mpreg/implied mpreg & veela-Draco)

Summary: Scorpius' most favourite bedtime story? The story of how his parents fell in love. And his grandmother tells it the best!

My friend Melissa aka Sasunaru can go no wrong when it comes to her pen game & her wickedly brilliant brain. This was no differeny.

A simple story, but a sweet one nevertheless of how young Scorpius loves hearing his favorite story, how his parents first met and fell in love. And who better to tell the story than the grandmother who was there to witness the love story unfold before her eyes.

10). Like Honey and Grenadine by bazooka (taekook)

Summary: A Somewhat Cosmic Adventure, In Which: Jeon Jeongguk is both a Flustered Meme Child as well as the King of Hell; Kim Taehyung is really good at peeling back layers; Jeong Hoseok can go wherever he wants; balance requires sacrifice.

A retelling of the Abduction of Persephone, but with extra awkward flirting and way more gay.

OMG, this story. OMG, THIS STORY. It just delivered. And I eat. I ABOSLUTELY LOVED LOVED LOVED IT.

We have a Hades and Persephone AU, which I never get tired of, but in this one it was a bit more modern, kinda like Lore of Olympus where Taehyung quickly finds the boogey-man everyone fears and is weary about is a nothing more than a bunny. So insanely cute.

Honorable mentions that I seriously wanted to add to the list but this post is already lengthy. All amazing, all greats reads by various writers y’all should check out:

With Just A Little Help From Our Friends by @sashadistan (tododeku; ABO AU w/Shouto quietly pining, Izuku being oblivious, Kiri being helpful, & Bakugo being done w/all their butts)

Letting It Go by dreamchaser31 (kathony/kanthony; Kate being through w/Edwina's shit & calling her out AS SHE SHOULD, Anthony & Lady D backing her up all the way)

Brighter than The Sun by @goldentruth813 ( sheith; a retired vet in care of care & Keith answering the call)

Hooked on You by @trenchcoatkitten (tododeku; heartwarming story invovling cats, Shouto being a pet daddy, and Izuku a knitting mentor that he falls hard for)

in his hands by @softlystarstruck & @babooshkart (drarry; trans-drarry who are happily married w/soft BDSM & even softer aftercare)

And there you have it, folks. Those are my top fanfics of 2022. I can already tell I'm gonna have LOADS for 2023. To the authors, thank y'all so much for your incredible stories, including the time and effort.

Happy New Year, guys

#favorite fanfics of the year #favorite fanfics #fanfic recs #fic recs #tododeku #mha #my hero acedamia #tododeku fanfics #tododeku fanfic recs #kathony #kanthony #kathony fanfic recs #kathony fic recs #tododeku fic recs #tododeku recs #viktuuri #victuuri #viktuuri fanfic recs #viktuuri fic recs #victuuri fanfic recs #victuuri fic recs #itufashi #itufashi fanfic recs #itufashi fic recs #taekook #taekook fanfic #taekook rec #drarry #drarry fanfic recs #drarry fic recs

[sunset-meets-the-moon]

My Top 5 BLs

Some of my favorite BL series and some small details on why I enjoyed them. I'm gonna try and remake one of these every few months to see what's changed after I watch some new series and finish the ones that I'm currently watching. *may contain spoilers*

Until We Meet Again (2019)

This was the first bl I ever watched, I went in with zero expectations and didn't read the synopsis before I watched it. I honestly fell in love with the characters instantly, especially Korn and In, every aspect of their relationship was so detailed and crafted perfectly. If you ever feel like shedding a few tears, this should be your first choice, whether you want to cry or not with this series you definitely will. Even on my first time watching it I felt a sense of nostalgia and it felt very familiar, I felt very comfortable and at home with this series.

The Untamed (2019)

If you'd consider this a bl then it should definitely be in everyone's top 5. Everything about this series is perfect from the characters to the cinematography. While watching this series I felt drawn in and like I, myself was inside the series, every time a character cried, I cried with them, shared a connection with them, and felt their pain. I've always loved the theme of soulmates and that's a very obvious theme in The Untamed, Lan Wangji loses the one closest to him and longs for him for 16 years, and upon Wei Wuxian coming back to life Wangji is one of the first people he thinks about. They never left each other's side, they always fought for each other and always chose each other first, that's the definition of soulmates and I can't think of a better example other than them. On my first time watching this I was so into it that I watched all 50 episodes in four days, small note when watching this prepare tissues.

KinnPorsche (2022)

Let me start this off by saying the acting in this series is absolutely amazing, it feels almost real. By the time my friend told me about this series, there were already nine episodes out and I sat there and binged them all, KinnPorsche kept me on the edge of my seat and never made me bored. They also did a fantastic job with the casting everyone was very skilled and extremely good-looking. This was only Be On Cloud's first series and after seeing how good this was I'm looking forward to their releases in the future. I loved the theme of Kinn and Porsche being "Ride or Die" and never turning their backs on each other, the story was executed perfectly and all the actors really brought the characters to life.

Word of Honor (2021)

Finished this within less than three days, directly after I finished The Untamed. This is another series involving the theme of soulmates on this list as soulmates may or may not be my favorite troupe. Wen Kexing's willingness to give his life and anything else for Zhou Zishu, them willingly giving up living amongst other humans to spend eternity together, is more than enough to consider this a bl. Although there are many heart-shattering moments, there are many moments spent happily and some humorous moments to lighten the mood a bit. I'm not sure if there'll ever be a season two but I'm hoping.

Love In The Air (2022)

I'd consider LITA to be top-five material not because of the plot, but because of the characters and their depth to them. Specifically, Prapai and Sky as they have so many sides to them and we get to see more into their personalities than what's on the surface. I liked this series because I felt it was balanced between funny and serious, it didn't have too much or not enough of either element and that's something I really enjoyed. The writers made it realistic and showed the issues that people may face in life and in relationships instead of making it all sunshine and rainbows, I applaud them for that. I don't just want a season two I NEED a season two, most of my posts so far have been about LITA and that'll give me plenty more material to write about so hopefully we'll get it and my writing career doesn't end right here.

Honorable Mention

3 Will Be Free (2019)

This isn't a bl but I just have to talk about it. One of my favorite things to see in the series is strong friend groups and that's what we see in this one. Three young people on the fringe of society still trying to find their way in the world and bonding through shared faults and mistakes. They may feel upset with one another at times but they still will come to each other's aid no matter the situation, this is without a doubt the trio we needed.

#bl series #thai bl #bl drama #uwma #love in the air #the untamed #word of honor #kinnporsche #3 will be free #asian drama #chinese drama #thai drama

[aindreisblythe]

Closed for @alitwebster

January 11th, Ali and Aindreis' flat downtown.

Almost two years ago, in February 2022, you'd survived a storm, but barely. Aindreis could still remember finding you in your bathroom, drenched to the bone, shaking like a leaf and trying to hold back tears, unsuccessfully. The water you'd always been wary off almost had you. You'd also drowned. He still felt a pinch in his heart whenever he remembered that the sea he loved so much had invaded his hometown and almost taken you with her. Things had been made worse by the fact that, trying to reassure you, he'd uttered the first 'i love you' and taken it back a few days later in fear that it wasn't reciprocated. He hated to think that, looking back at the past year, you'd barely made progress in your communication.

Aindreis hadn't realised how much this all impacted him. Sure, it'd been a horrible time but he wasn't the one going through the horrible stuff. He'd been at home, on the 3rd floor, reading a book with a candle. But this was all awakened yesterday. Yeah, they'd warned of some wind picking up but you hadn't taken it that seriously. You'd said you needed to go the mall, so you did and Andy stayed at home, working on his computer now that he was back at work. But then wind started getting bad and he just had to go pick you up. He'd taken the car, which he seldom did willingly, and tried to go get you. But between the strong winds and his genuine discomfort with driving, he couldn't make it to destination. Instead, he'd spent the whole evening mopping around, pacing in desperate search for any hint of a connection on his phone, in a farm. Logically, he tried to think that there was no reason anything like last time could happen. It wasn't a flood, it was just wind. But he was spiralling and definitely thinking all kinds of worse case scenario. Especially when it seemed like such bad timing. You were finally making progress, both by yourselves and in couple's therapy. Not even that he thought something horrible happened to you, but last time it almost cost you your relationship, between the fights and your impromptu trip. This couldn't happen again.

When things had calmed down, he'd called you and picked you up. Even after checking everything was alright, he could tell something was off. He was too exhausted to talk about it on the spot and the next day, he was walking on eggshells, which was exactly what you'd promised not to do to each other. So, after your days at work, he'd let himself fall on the couch next to you and put his head on your shoulder. "Is everything alright?" He asked, more prudently than he'd have wanted. Both to erase the hesitation in his voice and counter any fake outs, he added a soft, "Nebula?"

#somewhat past thread #aa #interaction ali #ali 006 #aindreis blythe #tw: drowning

[musical-shit-show]

i want your midnights

Pairing: Dewey Finn x Reader

Inspiration: sequel to waste my time, #17 (“you’re the only person i want to be with tonight”) and #39 (“don’t blame me. you know what you signed up for.”) from Prompt List #2

Warnings: cursing, angst, alcohol consumption, suggestive dialogue (?), anxiety, fluff at the end

Word Count: 3,229

Author’s Note: Last one shot of 2022! This is a sequel to waste my time, which I really enjoyed writing and thought it warranted a part 2. And, since it’s New Year’s Eve, I thought it’s only fitting to get this out tonight. Thanks to everyone who’s left such nice messages over the past year! I hope to continue to write more in 2023, and already have some things in the works. As always, check out my Masterlist, About Me page, and Prompt Lists if you want to submit a request! Everyone have a safe and Happy New Year!

Hooking up with Dewey Finn certainly had its perks. How could it not? You could hardly keep your hands off each other for weeks, and the secrecy only enhanced the experience. As promised, he had kept his mouth shut since that fateful Halloween party, and you two were able to convince your friends that you had simply called a truce on your years-long feud. Convince everyone but Patty, that was.

“No way,” she said, the day after the Halloween when you met her for a debriefing brunch, “What did he give you? Money? As if he had any…” She lifted her Irish coffee to her lips, smirking at her own snotty comment.

“No, no,” you said, feeling yourself get slightly annoyed at her dig, “We just…talked. He’s really not that bad, as it turns out. I know it’s different for you, but—”

Patty waved her hand, shooing your explanation away nonchalantly, “Don’t even worry about it. I had a feeling this would happen…” she mused, stirring her drink. Your heart skipped a beat, “Everyone loves Dewey anyways. Plus, Ned will be thrilled.”

You chuckled, breathing a small sigh of relief. As far as she knew, you and Dewey were nothing more than amicable. “Yeah well, he really did me a solid last night. Never imagined Dewey Finn would be good for helping with an anxiety attack, but I kinda owe him one.” Patty grabbed your hand lightly, comforting you.

“That is…actually really cool of him. And hey, maybe if you guys are friends, you’ll rub off on him. Maybe suggest he do some chores every once in a while?” She was teasing of course, but you could feel your pulse quickening again; the thought of actually hanging around Dewey made you nervous now.

You had no idea how you felt about him, and the most you two shared up to that point was a touchy makeout session on that damn fire escape the night before. All you knew was that it was in your best interest to stay away until you could figure out what was going on with your emotions.

That was almost two months ago.

And yet, you spent all your time with Dewey and no time at all figuring out your godforsaken feelings. You didn’t have much time to intellectualize your emotions with Dewey whispering sweet nothings into your ear as he pinned you against your mattress. The very thought of him in your bed sent your brain into a tailspin, so you had elected to be completely avoidant.

As far as you were concerned, you enjoyed his company and he was a great lay.

That was it.

Or rather, that’s what you told yourself at least. Having your mind lie to you was easier than letting your heart tell you the truth.

Besides, you quite liked the idea of a friends with benefits setup. It took at least a little bit of the pressure off, though it didn’t stop you from taking the piss every once in a while.

“Really stretching that definition of ‘friends’ huh, Finn?” you remembered asking him. The two of you were lying in bed one night, the streetlight outside your bedroom window shooting streaks of light across your entangled bodies. He smiled and shook his head, his shaggy mop of hair bouncing at the slightest movement.

“Well, what else would you call it?” he traced his fingers along your collarbone, where he had left a conspicuous trail of love bites that you would almost certainly have to cover up the next day. You didn’t have an answer in the moment, or as time passed. Despite loving the initial thrill of sneaking around with Dewey of all people, your situation grew more precarious with each passing day, and it was eating away at you.

Yes, Dewey was your friend now, but what if you told him how you felt and he didn’t feel the same way? What if he didn’t want to be friends anymore? And how would that affect your relationship with Ned and Patty?

And oh god, Patty. How would she feel if she found out you’ve been sleeping with her freeloader roommate with a hidden heart of gold? You were practically hanging by a thread.

Suddenly, you found yourself at the end of the calendar year, with Dewey on your couch stroking your hair absentmindedly as your head rested in his lap, a forgettable movie playing in the background. It was so domestic it almost made you sick.

“You coming to this New Year’s thing tomorrow night?” Dewey asked sleepily, the light from the TV reflecting off his face. He was drawing circles and swirls on your scalp, the sensation both tingling and relaxing you all at once.

“Yeah, of course,” you said, stretching your arms above your head and pinching his nose playfully, “I think Patty would kill me if I didn’t bring my famous champagne Jell-O shots.” Dewey let out an involuntary shudder.

“Oh, be sure to keep those away from me. I can’t have a repeat of last year.”

You smiled softly, remembering how different your relationship was only a year prior. You wondered if your past self would even believe the position you found yourself in now before finally muttering, “Duly noted.”

You and Dewey had both learned quickly to sit in silence comfortably with one another, but this one was different. You could feel a sort of tension that was new, unfamiliar.

“Maybe…” he said, now tracing swirls on your temple, “Maybe we could go together? If you want?”

Your heart nearly skipped a beat.

“I don’t know, Dew…” you trailed off, sitting up and pulling yourself away from his embrace, “Do you really think that’s a good idea?”

“Not in the slightest,” he joked, sitting up to meet your gaze, “But I don’t care anymore.” He tried to scoot closer to you, but you felt yourself retract from his touch.

“Well, I do,” you heard your voice harden, “Look, this thing we have going, it’s good. I don’t want to mess it up by—”

“What? Telling the truth? Come on, we don’t have to pretend anymore. I like you. A lot. And I thought you liked me.”

For a moment, you were stunned into silence. Dewey was usually pretty easygoing, especially when it came to your arrangement. Which turned his confession into even more of a gut-punch.

Your eyes met his again, which sported a pained expression, “It wouldn’t work between us. I thought we both understood that.”

“Oh, come on, screw that!” he replied, standing up, “I know we didn’t get along before but…things are different now. At least I thought they were.”

Your heart was screaming at you to stop, to tell Dewey how you really felt, to go to this stupid party together and not worry about what other people thought. But you couldn’t do it. You were too scared of what would happen if you two were together for real.

Sure, superficially you worried about Ned and Patty; You knew deep down that they’d get over it pretty quickly. No, you were worried about falling even harder Dewey than you already had, only to eventually screw it up for yourself.

Better to end it before it starts.

You clenched your jaw, a mixture of sadness and anger overtaking your face, “Don’t blame me. You know what you signed up for.” You half expected him to argue with you, but he didn’t look angry at all; his chestnut eyes were glazed over with hurt. “Dew, I—”

You wanted to say you were sorry, that you didn’t mean it, that you could go to this stupid party together. But nothing came out. And before you could let it, Dewey had already started gathering his things to leave.

All you could do was sit in awkward silence before he spoke, his voice tremoring, “Just for the record, I think it would’ve worked between us. Really sucks that you don’t see that, I guess.”

“Dewey—” you felt yourself standing up, tears in your eyes.

“No, I,” he sighed, running his fingers through his unruly hair, “I should go. I’ll…see you around.” He opened and shut the door with finality, the sound of his footsteps reverberating down the hall, the echo deafening.

***

“Well hello, hot stuff!” Patti greeted you at her door as pop music blared behind her. You plastered on the widest smile you could muster, a tray of Jell-O shots balancing on your hand. The party was in full swing, and you could already feel your heart pounding in your chest.

You hadn’t the faintest idea if Dewey would be there. You tried to call him and explain, but it went straight to voicemail; you tried texting him, but he left you on read. You were surprised you didn’t get frostbite from the cold shoulder he was giving you.

After setting the shots down on the kitchen counter, you scanned the room intently, hoping to see a familiar mess of brown hair somewhere in the crowd. You deflated when you didn’t see him, and Patty noticed immediately as she handed you a sparkly plastic cup. You felt gold glitter stick to your fingers immediately.

“Festive,” you commented, swirling the champagne cocktail until a tiny vortex of liquid formed. You took a swig, the sweetness making your throat burn on the way down. ‘Please, God, let me get drunk tonight’ you thought, your eyes darting towards the front door each time it opened.

“Okay, what the hell is wrong with you?” Patty inquired, her tone only slightly annoyed, “I thought we were gonna have fun at this party.”

You sighed, setting the drink on the countertop, “I know, I’m sorry. I just…I want to. I have a lot on my mind and—”

“You have to tell me what’s going on,” she persisted, “Don’t think I haven’t noticed you’ve been acting weird.” Damn her and her perceptiveness. Before you could get a word out, you felt hot tears welling in your eyes.

“It’s Dewey.”

Patty blinked stupidly. You cursed yourself for blurting out his name, and you were even more ashamed that you had been lying to your best friend for months.

“Dewey?” she repeated, letting out an incredulous laugh, “Why do you even care if he shows up, I mean I know you guys called a ceasefire, but—”

“Can we just go to your room and talk?” you choked out, feeling more claustrophobic by the second, “Please?”

In that moment, Patty’s eyes widened in realization. Your crying, eyeing the doorway, mentioning Dewey Finn of all people as the source of your turmoil. It finally clicked.

“Oh…my god.”

“I’m sorry, I should’ve told you—”

“Oh my god.”

Patty practically dragged you to her and Ned’s room, slamming the door behind her. You could feel your hands getting clammy, the thought of a fight ensuing making you break out into a cold sweat. You envisioned shouting, tears of betrayal, a final angry goodbye…it was too much for your hummingbird heart to take.

“You’re in love with him.”

Now it was time for you to be taken aback. You furrowed your brow at her, trying to make sense of your best friend’s words.

“What?”

“You’re in love with Dewey,” she repeated, smiling. Never in your life had you seen Patty talk about Dewey while smiling. “I can’t believe I didn’t see this coming…”

“Wait, wait,” you sat on her bed, feeling your heart rate slow only slightly, “You’re not mad?”

Patty sat down next to you, throwing her arm over your shoulder, “Oh honey,” she said in a tone that was far too sweet for your liking, “I’m not mad. I’m furious. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!”

You let out a dry laugh, “No, I mean, you’re not mad that it’s…Dewey?”

She shook her head, and your eyes widened in disbelief, “As much as he is a pain in the ass, I kinda saw this coming. Ever since after Halloween, really. I just didn’t think you’d be this head over heels for him.”

Feeling your entire body get hot with chagrin, you gave her a playful push away from you, “I’m not head over heels for him.”

“Oh, you so are.”

And then the realization dawned on you, hitting like a ton of bricks. You had been in denial for weeks, really ever since that first night on the fire escape.

You were in love with Dewey Finn.

And you were certain he never wanted to speak to you again.

“It doesn’t matter,” you said, tears starting to well in your eyes, “I fucked it up, P. I got scared and I pushed him away.”

You shoved your head into your hands, feeling utterly defeated. How could you have possibly been so stupid? You had the chance to be together, really together, but once again the cold grip of your anxiety overtook you the moment you felt yourself getting too close.

Pulling yourself out of your shame spiral, you noticed a devilish glint in Patty’s eye. “What?” you asked, a little scared of what she’d say next. She was usually the practical one; seeing her scheme was a bit unnerving.

 “Hold on, I’ll be right back.”

***

“Hey bud, where you at? This party could really use a case or two more of beer.” Dewey heard his best friend say over the phone, his voice fighting against the rowdy party that was happening in their apartment.

Dewey took another swig of his beer before responding, “Oh, hey man, yeah…I’m out.” The dive bar he had chosen for the evening was surprisingly empty, with only a few other lonely souls, “And I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to come back right now. I’m sorry.”

“Why not? Everyone is here—”

“I know. They aren’t the problem, I just…I have to tell you something.”

He then proceeded to tell Ned about everything – Halloween, the weeks since, your fight – practically all in one breath. It was killing him that he hadn’t told his best friend about the two of you, so it wasn’t difficult for him to start spilling his guts.

“I’m so sorry, dude,” he said, stepping out of the bar to catch his breath and get some fresh air, “I know I should’ve told you I just, I didn’t want to screw it up. But clearly she doesn’t feel the same way about me, so—”

“Dewey, I love you,” Ned said as he looked over at Patty, who had already relayed everything you had told her, “But you are the world’s biggest idiot.” Dewey blinked on the other side of the phone, taken aback by Ned’s uncharacteristic bluntness. “Just, get over here.”

Dewey shook his head, confused, “Wait, what’s going on—?” but before he could finish his sentence, the line went dead. He huffed, his breath appearing in the cold December night.

There was a part of him that told him to stay at the bar, sit in a booth by himself, and wait for the year to be over alone. But something else in him, something stronger, was telling him to listen to Ned and get back to the apartment. Because he knew you’d be there, and this might’ve been his last chance to make things right.

Before he realized it, he was walking home, his pace quickening as the wind stung his face. He dodged hordes of people crowd the city streets who were all ringing in the new year. His mind flashed to Ned’s request for more provisions; he honestly couldn’t bring himself to care.

As he climbed the stairs, he could hear the excited voices wafting from underneath the doorframe. Luckily, he was able to slip in relatively unnoticed since he had no alcohol to provide. He scanned the room for you, and spotted you the couch, nervously picking at your nails.

“Uh, hi.”

Looking up, your heart dropped when you saw Dewey, who gave you a small, awkward wave. “Oh my fucking god…I’m gonna kill Patty.” He chuckled lightly, and you stood up, wiping your hands on your skirt.

“You look…nice.” He choked out, the tension of your fight still hanging heavily between you. “Thank you,” you replied, your eyes darting to the floor. You were desperate for an escape plan. “I, uh, should probably get going though.”

You brushed past him to grab your coat, which Ned had haphazardly thrown into Dewey’s room. Perfect.

Dewey leaned against the doorframe, watching you tear through the pile of parkas. “Before midnight?” he said while following you in, “Come on, I knew you were a wet blanket but—”

“Please, just…just don’t.” you cut him off, your voice faltering. Dewey always tried to make light of a situation, but right now, he was only making you feel worse about blowing him off.

Before you could stop yourself, you heard your voice ringing in your head, “I…I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to, I just, I’m scared, okay? And I fucked it royally, so, seeing you here when I know that I can’t fix things, it’s just, it’s too much for me.”

“Hang on,” Dewey crossed his arms over his chest, a sad smile on his face, “who said we can’t fix things?”

“What?” you felt tears welling in your eyes, “I thought you didn’t want to see me again?” Without thinking, Dewey stepped closer to you, wiping a stray tear from your face. The small, intimate act made your pulse quicken.

“I didn’t, at first,” he said, his gaze soft, “But then I remembered your smile, and your laugh, and the way that you can argue with me about anything under the sun and I still find myself wanting to spend the whole day with you. You drive me insane, babe, but I couldn’t care less. I thought by storming out like a complete moron, I’d ruined any chance I had with you.”

In an act of impulsiveness, you grabbed his hand, entwining your fingers with his. Never in a million years did you think you’d be in this position, but Dewey’s words were enough to make you bolder than you ever imagined.

“I…don’t know what to say,” you said quietly, “Other than that…well, the last couple months have been some of the best I’ve had in years. And, you’re the reason why, Dew. You’re the only person I want to be with tonight and, well, I don’t want to lose you. I can’t lose you.”

Before you knew it, Dewey had picked you up, spinning you around as his laugh filled your ear. You instantly got butterflies, and when he set you down, his smile could’ve lit up the entire city.

“You won’t,” he said, “It looks like we don’t have anything to hide anymore.” You grinned back at him, a small giggle escaping from your throat. “So,” he continued, “I take it Patty knows?”

You nodded, “Yep,” you slipped your hand into his again, his grip comforting, “I don’t know what happened, but she’s…cool with it.”

“Well good,” he said, “Because I’m not letting you get away this time. I’m gonna annoy you as long as you’ll let me.” You kissed him softly, finally feeling lighter than air. The two of you stepped back into the party, finally excited for what the new year might bring.

***

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