#I say new but it’s just albums from the 90s I looked over like a year ago

[live-laugh-lenney]

You should so do a fic where the reader has a podcast (like saving grace) and everyone noticed how comparable she and Arthur seem he. He’s a guest (even though she’s like much more extroverted) would be fun🤞❤️

oh, this would be so cute :'))

if there was one thing yn felt comfortable doing, it was waffling.

she just loved to talk. about anything and everything, from what she had read on twitter to what she had heard about online to a brand new documentary that she had taken an interest in when flicking the channels on the television. delving deep into topics that had endless possibilities, spewing off facts that she'd read about online and putting her own thoughts forward in certain aspects that she found interesting and favourable to whoever she was with.

when she came up with the idea of hosting her very own podcast, in the middle of a housewarming party for one of her friends, she was excited to have a platform where she could let her own thoughts be freed yet she was also terrified it wouldn't take off and that she'd make it to a respectful ten episodes before she gave in and decided it wasn't something that the world needed.

when her first episode came out, she had asked james marriott to be her very first guest. one of her best friends, someone she had known for a while, someone who she felt comfortable around and gave her the space to speak freely without making her feel judged. allowing him to promote his new album as well as allowing them to discuss all kinds of musical knowledge from who their favourite bands were and who he would love to open for on a world tour.

and it took off.

earning herself over half a million views in the passing of one day, a lot of youtube subscribers who were offering their own suggestions on the different guests she could have and the more positivity she saw, the more she read, the more excited she was to continue.

she had herself a sweet studio; big beanbags instead of chairs, with a blanket draped over the back of each one and a decorative pillow that was there for added comfort and matched the colour scheme of the whole room, with shelves nailed to the wall full of relatable objects and images that fit her branding - images of her friends, her podcast name in neon lights and a few faux plants that hung low. it was just a simple setup but it felt homely and that was the vibe she had planned from the very beginning.

"good morning, good afternoon or good evening, depending on when you're checking in. i'm yn and welcome back to the one and only podcast on youtube dot com where we just sit and talk shit for an hour," she grins widely at the camera, cosying back into the beanbag beneath her and crossing her legs, hand holding the microphone to her lips, "today, we're joined the king of 90 day fiancé. it's mister arthur television."

"hello, hi."

he gives the camera a short wave and smiles widely, already having cosied himself down in a similar manner to the way yn was sitting in her beanbag, their shoes (both a sucker for comfort and choosing their air force 1's over any other trainer) kicked off aimlessly onto the rug in the middle of the room and left in a heap, his jacket draped over the back of his seat.

"thank you for having me," he looks in her direction, "this is definitely one of my favourite sets i've ever been on. it feels so homey and wholesome."

"i tried to base it on what my bedroom back home used to look like as a teenager," she giggles softly, looking over her shoulder and flicking on the orb lamp that was placed on a shelf above their heads for a bit of additional lighting to fit the ambience of the room, "i was such a tumblr girl growing up, i think it shows."

"i was gon'a say," he laughs and she rolls her eyes in his direction, "it feels very nice. very comforting. especially with the blankets."

"my nana knitted them for me," yn states, "just for this podcast. she's an avid listener, my number one fan, ."

"really?"

"no. i'm kidding," yn laughs softly and he looks across to her, "i don't think she really gets the whole podcast thing, to be honest. she's only just started to understand the whole youtube thing, bless her. she's a sweet soul and i love her but she's so innocent when it comes to all things technological."

"you should use that story more," arthur insists and adjusts himself in the seat as he felt himself sliding down into a slouch, "it adds more story to the setup. it's cute."

"i'll tell her you said that. she'll love it," yn giggles, 'but, anyway. you, arthur frederick, are one of my most requested guests to appear on my podcast."

arthur's eyes widened and he can feel the heat covering his cheeks as he looks across to her, microphone still held tight to his lips, hoping it hid the shy smile that grew on his lips.

"seriously. i had people practically spamming me on twitter to get you on here," she explains and looks at the camera, "you're a loved man, aren't you?"

"i guess i am," he admits shyly, "people are also asking me and isaac to get you on the bach and arthur podcast. close second to george."

"we'll have to make that happen," yn grins widely, "the viewers would love that crossover. chaos crew and little ol' me."

"i think you'd fit in perfectly," he says, "at least i'll have someone on there that appreciates my facts and interesting tidbits of information. it gets lost amongst them. they're not so intelligent when it comes to you and i."

she snorts and shakes her head, dropping her eyes down to her lap before she looks back up; he wasn't lying, truth be told. she was no stranger to being in a conversation with him, at parties and at events both of them were attending, that involved exchanged fact after fact after fact with each other, hours passing by as they discussed nature topics and the newest piece of information to do with outer space and all the theories coming from online.

with the hour closing in, she didn't want the conversations to end. and she knew, in the back of her mind, that she needed him back on her podcast for another episode because he understood her. and she understood him. and their talks flowed effortlessly with no need for extra encouragement from those around them in the room.

he was an interesting man and she wanted more.

both personally and for her podcast.

--

anyone else getting heart eye vibes from the two of them???

yn was in her element for this episode!!

arthur being on this podcast just made my day. we need more of the two of them!!!

the way there was no silence at all this entire episode. conversations flow between these two.

the two of them are the same person, i swear.

without a doubt, arthur is the male version of yn. that's adorable.

its like the universe copied and pasted their personalities into two people of the opposite genders. that's so cute!!

--

"the podcast episode was a hit thanks to you."

yn surprises him and made him jump as she approached him at the bar, his figure turning from where he was stood with his back to her so he could pull her in for a hug, and she grins up at him before her own arms wrapped around his waist. a sex on the beach cocktail held tight in her hand and she was careful not to spill it down the back of his shirt.

"i was wondering where you were," he says and lets go of her to pick up his beer that had been placed on the bartop, "when you texted me to say you were coming to chris' birthday drinks, i knew i had to come and find you when you arrived."

"looks like i beat you to it," she says and she takes a sip of her drink through the straw, "people loved the two of us together on there."

"yeah?"

she nods quickly.

"i'm pretty sure it was the best episode to date. figures wise," she says and he grins widely, looking over her shoulder and seeing a free table in the corner of the room, using his head to indicate for her to look at where he was looking, "i'm gon'a need you to feature again, for sure."

she turns on her heels and wiggles her way through the crowd, the feeling of his hand resting on the base of her back driving her insane as she set her drink down on the table and hopped up on the stool, watching as he did the same.

"i'm not keeping you from chris, am i?"

"no, he's about to hop on the karaoke with isaac," arthur cackles out loud and looks over his shoulder at where his two friends were arguing over the song book, "i'm too sober for that at the moment so I can't think of anything worse right now."

"you're not one of those party poopers, are you?"

"no," he shakes his head, "i just need to be almost blackout drunk in order to belt out my lungs really, really poorly."

"i think i need to get some shots in you then because i really need to see that tonight." xx

#arthurtv #arthurtv fics #arthurtv headcannons #arthurtv imagines #arthurtv blurbs #arthur frederick #arthur frederick imagines #arthur frederick blurbs #arthur frederick fics #arthur frederick headcannons

[princessbrunette]

All i can think about is rafe cameron buying you stupidly expensive lingerie sets for christmas😵‍💫 and then after breakfast he asks you to model them🤭

SANTA BABY ♡

gettin me in the festive spirit hehehe this made me wanna spend xmas with the cameron’s so bad :((

cw: christmas duh, family bonding time, i aged Wheezie down to be like 6 years old bc i think it would be cute idk LMAOOO , suggestive themes but nothing too crazy ❀

At his core, Rafe Cameron liked to think he was a family man. He’d often flip out, misbehave, and shit talk his family members it’s true, but Christmas was a time he liked to put it all behind him (Atleast until the new year starts, and he can start up his usual BS)

As you can imagine, Christmas at the Cameron’s was something extravagant. Humungous white christmas tree with silver decorations at the centre of the house, the outside of the house decked with lights that required enough power to start up 3 yachts, fake snow on the porch and Frank Sinatras Christmas album playing round the house at each corner. The years had only softened Ward, and whilst he could be cruel, hard on Rafe and borderline forgetful of Wheezies existence — Christmas was where he shone brightest, just wanting to do right by his kids and now, you, his sons girlfriend.

Receiving presents from the family was a whole different ballgame to your usual Christmas at home, Ward having grinned ear to ear when he handed you the box with the Tiffany’s heart tag charm bracelet glittering under the Christmas lights of the early morning (Wheezie being Wheezie woke everyone up at 6AM sharp.) Rafe, who’d insisted you’d curled right up to his side on the couch wearing his robe resisted an eye roll, his dad always having to out do him, but you seemed elated and he felt his heart warm.

They went all out, Rose handing you a literal 90’s Blumarine runway piece she’d simply overheard you talking Rafes ear off about, the next 5 minutes spent by you and Sarah fawning over it. Sarah’s gift was next, a set of SKIMS dresses you’d been saving to your Pinterest which she couldn’t help but notice, and of course Wheezie proudly handing you a glittery macaroni necklace she’d crafted you at school, which you had no choice but to act like it was the best gift of all.

Come Rafe’s turn, he simply offered his family a smile and patted your side, turning his head to look at you. “I’ve got her presents in my room, figured I’d give it to you privately.” He teases, ignoring Sarah’s ‘Barf’ comment from her cross legged position on the floor beside her little sister.

The family dispersed for a little while, Sarah helping Wheezie set up her new toys on the carpet infront of the tree, Rose and Ward going to start up the food in the kitchen (Ward insists on cooking everything themselves instead of having the chefs do it, because it was tradition.) Before you could wander in there and offer your help, you were being pulled back gently by the arm into your fluffy robe clad boyfriend wearing a poorly masked excited smile. “What, you don’t want your present from me?”

He slides a box from under his bed when you get up to his room again, covered with thin pink gift paper to hide the logo. He sits on his chair, robe falling between his legs and bare knees exposed outwards. “C’mon, sit on santas lap.” He grins and you mirror him, skipping over, happy and spoiled and perching on his leg. He puts the box in your lap and you peel away the paper to see the Agent Provocateur logo with the iconic black ribbon. You widen your eyes at him as if to say ‘Okaaaay, good job’ before wedging your fingertips carefully beneath the cardboard lip and lifting it, seeing 5 sets before you that was perfectly accustomed to your taste.

You remember your trip to the city with Rafe, it was business of course — but you were happy to tag along and walk alongside him watching him handle things for you and his family. You’d spotted the fancy lingerie store, practically pressing yourself up against the glass of the window as you look inside rambling about how you had so many of the sets saved to your Pinterest, pointing out each with your finger smushed to the glass. Rafe nodded distractedly, phone pressed to his ear, leaning on his hip in his gridded shirt and khaki pants that fit too good, before gesturing to you with his thumb that the two of you needed to get moving again, or else you’d be late to the appointment with a buyer. You pout and peel yourself away from the store.

But that was like what, September? Did he go back and buy it all for you? Order it once he’d returned home with you? You’d know Rafe to hold a grudge, but didn’t know his memory served in a positive manner too. “Rafe…” You coo, plucking out the sets and holding them up to admire the intricate lace detailing, spotting matching garters and whatever else you’d mentioned laying in the box. The thought of him fumbling through your underwear drawer trying to figure out your bra size made you giggle, wrapping an arm around his neck in an appreciative squeeze.

“How’d you remember?” Your voice was high in awe, wanting to hold on to this sweet side of Rafe forever.

“Please, I pay attention sometimes y’know.” He smirks modestly, eyes on the box as he admires his work. “So you like it? Yeah?” His hands finding your hips and giving them a soft squeeze.

“Love it, Rafey.” It comes out muffled, because you’re busying yourself with pressing big wet kisses to his cheek, and then eventually his mouth. He pulls away a fraction, lips still brushing yours and eyes cracking open.

“Gonna try it all on for me though, right?” He drawls in that classic Rafe way that you can never say no to and you nod so vigorously you nearly headbutt him. He pats your butt with a pleased hum and pecks you once more. “Atta girl.”

#anon #rafe cameron drabble #rafe cameron prompt #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron blurb #rafe cameron fluff

[strawberryspence]

Because I am obsessed with the famous trope here’s another one that kept me up all night.

Steve and Eddie dated right after Vecna in ‘86 and it’s perfect. They date each other and it’s like two puzzles clicking together. But they’re young, foolish and they both have mountains of trauma. And sometimes, the passion and love, just isn’t enough to keep a relationship going.

They have a messy break up that has Eddie packing all his stuff up in ‘88. Eddie goes to LA or New York, either way that’s where he gets discovered. He then goes on to write some very angsty and angry rock/metal music about the break-up that gets him up on the map.

Steve hates it. He hates it with every fibre of his soul because it’s one thing when you and you ex still have the same friends and have to be civil with each other, but it’s a whole other thing when you open the radio and this man you dated, this man you loved and cared for and failed is just out here singing it for the whole world to hear.

And yeah listen, it’s petty and dumb. But Steve writes his own fucking songs, it’s not the direct response to Eddie’s song but it’s close. By that time it’s already ‘90 and Eddie’s made a whole name and career out of their relationship. Steve writes the songs, he sings, and he sends the damn demo to almost fifty different companies. And he gets picked up by one company.

Steve takes the pop star route, and with his looks and his somehow amazing vocals, by ‘94 Steve’s on the charts with Whitney and Mariah. The whole Party has solemnly promised to not get involved with their petty songwriting fighting anymore. They also haven’t spoken in person in almost six years, and the only way they communicate now is through the freaking songs.

There’s not a lot of overlap with the rock and pop community, and no one notices it until ‘05. It’s one fan that makes this one blog post talking about this weird freaky coincidence in Steve Harrington and Eddie Munson’s songs. It becomes a whole thing, like someone from Hawkins pulls out the yearbooks and finds out that they could’ve known each other. Their faces are splashed together into every magazine and celebrity entertainment shows.

They don’t say anything about it. No one comments about it for a few years and it infuriates the public even more. The next time Steve comes out with a song, Eddie comes out with another song a few months after and it’s once again a literal conversation about their relationship.

The whole thing continues until ‘11 and by then there’s blog dedicated for all the clues. It’s now a long running thread, and it gets updated when there’s another clue to this massive confusing puzzle. There’s a whole subsection with names of every Party member and how they connect the two artists together. There’s freaking flow charts and pictures and family trees.

It only ends when Eddie finally posts two pictures on Twitter. The first one is taken backstage. All you can see is Steve’s back, but you will know it’s him because of his hair. He’s standing at the side of the stage, and on the stage is Eddie Munson singing. The second one is a picture of Eddie sitting in a couch as Steve looms over him, hands crossed on his chest. Eddie’s signing his own album with a smirk, while Steve glares at him. If you zoom, you can see the sign on the album saying, “To Steve. This album is for you.”

The caption says: “Me and my biggest fan. Circa 2004.”

Steve replies to the original post saying: “You’re sleeping on the couch tonight.”

Eddie deletes the post and reposts it with: “Me and my wonderful, gorgeous, talented husband. I can’t believe I am married to THE Steve Harrington.”

It’s the first time the term “break the internet” is ever used.

Turns out, they were just writing the songs to spite each other and to add fuel to the fandom fire. (In an interview, Eddie says, “It’s our foreplay.” and Steve doesn’t talk to him for a solid 30 minutes for running his mouth. It only lasts for 30 minutes because Eddie made it up to him by using his mouth for something else.)

#HA #i love famous steddie #theyre so petty #also dont come for me #i dont know where the ‘break the internet’ term came from #so dont get mad #anw #i love them #steddie #daeheadcanons #steve harrington x eddie munson angst #steve harrington x eddie munson #steddie ficlet #steddie headcanon #steddie hc #famous steve harrington #famous eddie munson

[dre6ming]

Christmas tree shopping

The delicate beginning rush

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Austin Butler x singer/actress fem reader

Warnings: smut, sex, explicit content, mentions of blood, crying, bad family relationships, fluff

Word count: ~3000

Plot: Christmas tree shopping puts a small dent into your heart considering the past, so when Austin asks that you do it together, you have some holdbacks.

I love Christmas! And that's that. I've always loved it, ever since I could understand the concept of it. I adore the buzz of the crowd searching for gifts, the smell of Christmas foods, the decorations, the songs, the movies. I mean you'd have to have a big lump of coal for a heart to not like Christmas. But with all my love for this time of the year, this year I'm just not feeling it.

As I walk the crowed streets of New York all on my own, with my big fluffy scarf covering most of my face, I look around at the stores wondering where I could go next, dreading going home, where Austin waits for me so we can go Christmas tree shopping. When he proposed the idea that we go together, I just nodded and smiled, but in my heart a big hole was being uncovered. I used to go Christmas tree shopping with my dad, some of my favorite memories with him, are of us choosing a tree, setting it up in the living room and decorating it together. Those were some of the best hours in the whole year. But then the divorce happened right before Christmas, no one bought a Christmas tree, I didn't even bother decorating that year, I stayed over at Timmy's house, then the year after that, was mine and Austin's first Christmas together, but he was with his family and I went again to Timmy's house.

This year though, he wants us to have a Christmas together together. He suggested that we spend it over at his LA home, but Christmas is supposed to be cold and wet and snowy, not sunny and hot, so we are going to have a small party at my apartment on the 25th, until then he wants all the Christmas stuff to be done. Which I'm more than happy to do, but I was hoping we'd get a fake tree from Amazon or something.

I feel my phone vibrate in the pocket of my coat and I know I can't ignore him, or he will get worried, so I sigh, taking the phone out and answering the call. "Hi, Aus! I'm still looking at a few shops, they've got really nice things out here, I bought some stuff." I lie, having not bought even a single thing. "Don't worry darling, I was just checking in, what do you say, I come get you with the car and then we go to the Christmas tree market?" He asks so sweetly, it hurts my heart. "Um actually I don't know, I don't think I'm gonna be much longer, so just wait for me back at the apartment." I hate the anticipation of the disappointment in his voice. "That's fine Y/n, just be safe, I love you!" I close my eyes and rub my temple with my free hand, feeling a headache creep it's way to me. "Love you too!" I cut the call short and keep walking, smiling as I spot the rusty old sign from Frank's record store.

As I enter the smell of cinnamon and chocolate, hits me, soft jazz playing in the background. The store looks empty today, except for Frank, sitting behind the counter, reading a book. As the door bell rings he looks up from his book and smiles at me, getting up to come hug me. "Hey kid, haven't seen you in a hot minute. Though I've heard plenty of you. I never knew fruitcake makes you sick" he laughs, referencing my latest album, a Christmas ep called fruitcake. "Very funny!" I giggle, unwrapping the scarf from my neck and undoing some of the buttons on my coat.

"Well I've been busy, but I'm home for the holidays." I say, looking around, skimming through some of the new records he has in store. "Hm I bet you're busy, touring arenas and all. Hey kid look what I have here." Frank says as he goes to the back and brings out a mysterious vinyl. "It's a first edition. A mix done on vinyl in the 90's, all your favorites are on here." He explains, replacing the vinyl he had one with the new one he brought. "Last Christmas I have you my heart.." the song starts playing and I start singing along.

"Want some hot cocoa?" Frank asks, putting the closed sign on the door, as I take of my coat to be a bit more comfortable. "Of course I want some, extra-" "-Whipping cream, I know" he finishes my sentence, making both of us laugh. As Frank goes to make the hot cocoa, I take my phone out and text Austin.

Me

Hey, something came up, I'm over at Roxy's place. Can we reschedule?

Austin

Sure, hope everything is alright. Love you 💜🧶

Me

Ofc, love you too

I hate lying to him, but I just don't feel like having a therapy session right now. "Hmm perfect!" I smile taking the cup from Frank and drinking some of the delicious hot beverage. "So any big plans for Christmas this year?" He asks, and I start telling him all about the dinner me and Austin are hosting for friends and family.

Before I knew it I had spent a few good hours over at Frank's store and then I had to call Matt to come get me with the car and drive me back home, as it had gone dark outside. So now I'm in the elevator, watching the buttons of each floor light up, until we get to number 10. I walk in and the whole place is quiet, no sight of Austin or any cats, so I guess that he must be sleeping. Tiptoeing to my room I find Austin sleeping on the bed with Simba and William cuddled up to him. Walking into the closet I try to make as little sound as possible and I start to take off my clothes.

I feel a pair of arms wrap around me and I let out a small scream, startled for a moment. "Shh it's me" Austin whispers against my ear, kissing down my neck, I lean into him and reach my hand back, to comb through his thick hair. "It's ok.." I moan as he sucks the skin right above my collarbone. His hands travel down my abdomen and unbutton my jeans, his right hand sliding down between my legs, into my underwear. "Austin.." I sigh, putting all my weight on him. "Shh, don't talk." Austin says

He's skilled fingers work me like magic, his left arm tight around my waist holding me up, as he plugs a finger into me. I gasp, fisting his hair, as he moves slowly inside me. "Shh no talking." He repeats, after I try to moan his name again. This is something we've never done before, he usually likes me talking during sex, and he encourages me to be vocal, but this time he wants me to be quiet.

I'm lost in my train of thought and don't realize the moment he pulls his hand away and picks me up, taking me to the bed. "Aus?" I ask concerned as he removes my jeans but not my panties. He looks at me, but there's no tenderness like before, he looks mad? "No talking." Is all he says, as he takes off his clothes and puts on a condom, getting on top of me. "Aus baby, is something wrong?" I ask touching his face. A faint smile crosses his face and a glimmer of something sweet shows up in his eyes. My heart beats at a thousand miles per hour and I'm aroused as ever, but something is off.

"Nothings wrong, I just want to feel you." He says, kissing me, his hands going back to their ministrations. We move in sink and I reach behind me to unclasp my bra. Austin's hands go immediately to my breasts, kneading and pinching my nipples. "Fuck!" He grunts as I sneak my hand down and pump his cock, touching his tip to my covered pussy, wishing right now there was no thin layer of cotton between us.

"Please!" I beg as his head nudges at my wet pussy, brushing against my clit, sending electric shocks up my spine. "Fucking hell!" Austin curses, guiding his hand between us, to push my panties to the side, quickly sliding into me. I wince in pain, as he usually takes his time opening me up, but this time he seems to be in a hurry. His lips find mine and he swallows my whimpers. When he's all the way in, he stills and waits for me to give him the ok to move. After a few moments of sitting like this conjoined, with my legs around his waist, my hand in his hair and his around my waist, something changes, something in him, he starts feeling warm and soft, unlike the cold stiff feeling he was giving me before, it's like he melts into me.

His hands moves up my body, wrapping tightly around me. "I'm sorry!" He says in a broken voice. "It's ok, doesn't hurt anymore, please move." I say caressing his cheek, encouraging him to pull his hips back. When his pelvis meets mine again, fireworks sparkle behind my closed eyelids. Austin starts a slow pace, each time going deeper and deeper if that were possible. The room is filled my muffled moans and skin slapping noises, as both of us feel closer and closer to the sweet release. "Shit Austin, I need more, please!" I beg arching my back to give him a new angle.

Austin groans in my ear and picks up the pace, placing one hand behind my head on the pillow and the other on my clit, rubbing slow circles. "I love you! I love you so much!" I say, feeling closer to my orgasm, my walls spasm around hid twitching cock. "Fuck!" His voice sound strangled and he moves faster, sloppier. "I love you I love you Iloveyou!" I say over and over again and over again. He keeps his moves fast and rhythmic, I curl my toes and pull on his hair, my orgasm wrecking through my body, tingling head to toe. Austin keeps moving until I feel him tens and he cums moaning into my shoulder.

We sit a few minutes tangled together, breathing in sink, his heart thudding against my chest. The  without a word, Austin pulls out, leaving me empty, getting up and going to the bathroom. I'm left staring at the ceiling, wondering what this whole experience was just weird. I sit up in bed and wrap myself in my fluffy robe, getting up, going to the kitchen to drink some water.

I keep thinking what just happened, I can't imagine what must have happened to make Austin act like this. It's not that the sex didn't feel good, it did, but it felt like he was somewhere else, or at lest trying to be somewhere else. "Are you hungry ?" I jump at Austin's voice, dropping the glass of water on the floor. Without thinking I try to reach for the broom, to clean this up, but I step on a shard of glass. "Aw, fuck fuck!" I let out, holding onto the counter, lifting my leg up to see if the cut is bad. It's only a small shard, so the cut is barely a graze, but blood is already coming out of it. "Don't move!" Austin warns, walking around the broken glass and water, coming next to me. He puts both hands on my waist and lifts me up on the counter, the going to clean the mess I made.

We sit in silence, as he cleans and I feel the blood dripping down my foot. When he's done, he goes away and I start thinking if he just left me here, which I know is stupid, but my brain can't stop making weird scenarios up. "Show me your leg!" Austin says, kneeling down in front of me, cleaning my wound and putting a bandage over it. "All done!"

"Are you mad at me?" I ask at the same time as he speaks and he blushes, looking the other way, avoiding my eyes. "Where were you today?" He asks and as I open my mouth to answer he interrupts me. "Don't lie, Roxy came over, thinking you were here." I sigh and jump off from the counter, ignoring the pain in my leg. I wobble a little bit, despite my best effort, so Austin puts his hands up around me, ready to catch me if anything were to happen. I look him up and down, thinking about what I could say, I could just tell him the truth, but I haven't really told him much about mine and my dad's relationship. He waits patiently for me to answer and the way his arms are still around me, like waiting for a hug, makes me want to melt right into him, but I choose the childish part of me, pushing him away and walking past him.

"Did something happen?" His voice sounds like an echo and for a moment I feel like he didn't even speak and it was all my imagination. I turn around slowly, looking at his face, his eyes are read, teary. "Aus-"

"I know you weren't at Roxy's place, you didn't answer your phone, you were out shopping all day and yet, came back with no bags or nothing." Austin's hands are shaking, so I walk up to him slowly, taking his hands in mine, but he takes a step back, pulling away, which breaks my heart. "Can we sit down? I can explain everything." He shakes his head and I close my eyes taking a deep breath, preparing for the things I'm about to say.

"I was at Franks store, I did go out to buy somethings, but my head was somewhere else so I didn't get anything, just walked around." I start saying and he fiddles around with his hands. "Why?"

"I wanted to go Christmas tree shopping, but it just it hurt to much. I haven't gone shopping with anyone other than my dad, it was our thing, but I'm no longer a part of his life and it's, it's like slowly learning how to breathe again." His face saddens more, but this time, the sadness is pointed my way, and I appreciate his empathy, but I'd like if he'd stop. "I'm sorry I really am, it's just been hard on me to.." my voice breaks down and I lick my lips, tasting the salt of my tears.

Austin closes the distance between and hugs me tight. "You should have told me, I'm sorry, we don't have to go if you don't feel like it, baby" he says rubbing my back, holding me close to him. "I think if you go with me , I could do it. " he chuckles, kissing the top of my head and we stand hugging for a moment.

"Aus?" I ask softly something still on my mind. "Yeah?" "Is something wrong, you felt a little cold, you know, earlier." I feel him stiffen a bit, so I wiggle out of his arms to look up at him. "Well I was worried about you and my sister told me that she and the kids are down with some virus and can’t make it to Christmas, so I was just filled to the brim with worry." I smile at him, touching his hair lightly, placing some flyaway hairs back. "Oh my baby, want some hot cocoa? And how about we bake something?" I say, walking back to the kitchen counter and getting things ready for a feel better night. "Your butter cookies? With orange?" He asks puppy eyed, making me giggle. "Well I did just buy some oranges yesterday, so why even ask?" I say putting milk on the stove to warm up and already measuring the right amount of flour and sugar.

Between finishing the hot cocoa and adding the flour to the dough, someone decided to start a fight with flour, so we're now laughing, picking flour from our hair, as the cookies rise. "You're such a child." I chuckle, wiping his nose. "I just couldn't help myself" he shrugs, smirking at me.

The next morning we wake up as late as we can and now we're enjoying a shower together. His hands wash my skin tenderly, massaging all the stiff spots. "I don't think I'll ever get bored of washing your hair!" He admits, bubbling the shampoo between his hands, then applying it to my hair. "Well I'll never get bored of you washing my hair, so lucky for you!"

After what must have been the slowest start of day in months, we finally enter the Christmas tree market, hand in hand. Being here does feel weird without my dad, but not as bad as I thought. Austin squeezes my hand three times and that calms me a bit, so I take a deep breath, looking at all the trees. "Can we get a huge one?" I ask already having my eye on one. "I was thinking smaller, but whatever you want." He says, looking the opposite way the trees that are way too small for my liking. "How about two trees?" I suggest, smiling at him.

"Honey I don't think we'll fit in the elevator with this." Austin says, as he pull down the tree that's almost twice his height, from the roof of my heel. Driving around New York with this on top of the car was of course something out of a comedy. "So up the stairs?" I ask hoping he'd say "no"

"I think so." He sighs, looking with dread at the staircase door. "Ok then.." I say defeated, locking the car and getting ready to help him.

Around the 2nd floor it feels like I'm dying, we decided that best way was for me to go up pulling and him pushing form down. "I think we're going somewhere." I encourage, already cursing myself for not going to the gym enough. Austin laughs, form somewhere behind the tree branches. "Yeah the North Pole!" He jokes

On the 10th floor we  stop at the door of the apartment, him in better shape than me, but still just as tired. "You have no idea how lucky you are I love you!" Austin says, kissing my cheek. "I love you too!"

"Is it straight?" Austin asks from under the tree, trying to place it in the tree stand. "A little to the left!" I instruct. "My left? Or your left?" He asks, out of breath. "Mine, ugh no, yours. I don't know, can you get out of from there?" I ask and he comes to sit next to me. The tree is still very much crooked, but I think I like it this way. "I think I like it this way!" Austin says, rubbing my back. I snuggle into his side and stand on my tippy toes to kiss him. "I think I agree!"

"I think I love you!" He says, picking me up and spinning me around. "Did you notice that you kinda picked a tree looking like me and I picked one looking like you?" Austin jokes again, but as I look at the two Christmas trees, now realizing that the very obvious height difference does resemble the one me and Austin have between us. "I think we just did the funniest thing." I admit, going to the boxes on the floor and taking an ornament out, placing it in the smaller tree Austin chose. "Merry Christmas, y/n! I love you!" Austin says, placing and ornament in the tree I picked. "Merry Christmas Austin, I love you too!"

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#the delicate beginning rush series #the delicate beginning rush head canons #the delicate beginning rush imagine #the delicate beginning rush #austin butler #austin butler x reader #austin butler fic #austin butler fanfiction #austin #austin butler fans #austin butler love #austin butler instagram #austin butler smut #austin butler imagine #austin fanfic #austin butler fanfic #christmas

[nexility-sims]

𝐍𝐎. 𝟑   ❛ 𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭 ❜   |   NAKAWE, 2023

❧  𝐝𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲  /  𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠  /  𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬  /  𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭.

   ❛  Karolina Teague was hardly famous. Her name carried a certain heft among culture critics whose heyday had passed, but she liked the anonymity that came with being washed up. All of her favorite people were has-beens, after all, and she wasn’t ashamed to spend her time reminiscing about days past with them or anyone else who would listen. Today, she welcomed a whole crew of listeners into her Nakawe home—a film crew to be exact, led by a director-producer duo who had known her name well before a previous interviewee mentioned it to them. She wouldn’t be the star of their documentary, but they believed from its inception that the story wouldn’t be complete without her thoughts.

❧ honestly very proud of the scrapbooking !!!! this is basically just shameless exposition, but i am convinced i picked a creative vehicle for it :^) i watched that 90s docuseries on hulu a year ago and this specific story post was born fjdhjf anyway, canonically, no one would be writing or printing in script like that but i am simply NOT that committed to my worldbuilding sdkjfsf consider this whole thing an english language reimagining (^:

𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐞𝐝 & 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭 ↓

Karolina took them on a tour of her colorful seaside house, one concluding in a room already set up for their perusal. It was the archive, she explained. This was what they came for; her recollections were valuable, but she had so much more than her own memories. Photographs waited on the tables, and an old television screen teased some scene from exclusive VHS tapes. Karolina plopped down onto a sofa and gestured widely, saying, “Have a look. I’m ready when you are.” 

The director, a woman named Ildaria, picked up a photograph. 

“Can you tell us about her?” 

Karolina beckoned for the photo, and Ildaria walked over to hand it to her. For a moment, she peered at it, keeping everyone in suspense. Finally, she replied, “Sure. What’s she going to do, sue me?”

“Maybe,” a cameraman elsewhere in the room snorted.

“I’ll take the risk,” Karolina laughed. “Look, I don’t know Princess Leonor, but I met her plenty of times. She was at The Den at least half the nights in 1991, for sure. Probably into 1992, but I didn’t really keep track of her comings and goings. Definitely not after 1993.”

The producer, Eilo, held up another photograph. “What’s the story here?” he asked.

Karolina reached for it. Unlike the other photo, this one was a proper candid. There were several people in the frame, but Leonor was at the center, kneeling by a table with her hand draped across Renzo’s thigh as he held her head in his palm and said something beyond the capture of still photography.

“It wasn’t anything formal,” Karolina explained. “Renzo didn’t date anyone in those days, and I don’t think she did either. They liked each other. It was mutual fascination with zero understanding, is how I saw it. They hung out—liked each other’s company. Hot and fast, burned out quick, that’s what it looked like.” She shrugged. “That was Renzo.” 

“And Leonor?” Ildaria asked, having sat down nearby. 

“Like I said,” Karolina began. She seemed to be choosing her words carefully. “I didn't know her. Seemed like a cool girl. I’m older, mind you. I think she wanted to get a little wild and try new things—this is off the record—and The Den was for her what it was for everyone. You could kick your shoes off. Scream along to your buddy’s new song, have a movie star tell you his woes while he pours your drink, get high in the dressing room and probably be fine—” 

“Did she do that?” Ildaria’s eyes were wide.

Karolina cleared her throat. “No, of course not. Not everyone did! Enough, sure. We all know the quote-unquote horror stories.”

The crew listened, rapt, having stopped flipping through albums and poking around the bookcases, eager to hear something explosive. They had set out to make a documentary about a particular time and place. The Den at the turn of the century was their subject. That glorious decade solidified its place in celebrity culture, to say nothing of its place in music history. The princess was just a footnote in that story. Nonetheless, it was a tantalizing footnote. Most people below a certain age were shocked to hear that she hadn’t been a humorless, buttoned-up bureaucrat her entire life. The idea that someone whose day job involved keeping the country afloat may have once been young and reckless intrigued. That she was adjacent to the salacious stories of sex, drugs, and rock and roll they knew better nearly crossed the line into unbelievable. Yet, people in Uspana also knew their royals had been wrapped up in the glamor of celebrity for decades. Even now, they continued to rub elbows with rock stars, including the one elder princess who was herself a music star. 

“She’s a different person now, clearly,” Karolina continued. She spoke tentatively still but nonetheless addressed what everyone wanted to know. “But, for a time, she was at The Den with everyone else, drinking too much and carrying around a pharmacy in whatever cute purse you had that night. You may remember there was a big Reyes death around then. It’s like—when my mother died in 2009, I lost my shit, too.” 

Karolina shrugged again. “She was having fun. I was doing worse, alright, so I only feel judgmental about it insofar as she’d probably be embarrassed if you asked her about any of it today. Royals are supposed to do their sniffing in private, right, not in a bathroom Renzo forgot to hire someone to clean. She was snobby, but my sense was that she liked pretending she wasn’t—roleplay, you know, transgressing or whatever.” 

Someone coughed. The rifling through materials resumed. Ildaria and Eilo shared a look. 

“You haven’t talked to her since ‘92?” Ildaria asked. Eilo, meanwhile, had pulled out his cell phone and was typing with fast fingers. 

Karolina shook her head. “So, she knew I’d asked Renzo to let me collect photos and bring along my Zenith. I got a weird email in 2000 inquiring about them from someone who worked for her.” She grinned, then added as an aside, “Only one recording, by the way. The Den had a strict no video policy.”

“We’d like to see them sometime,” Ildaria responded. 

Karolina nodded, then shook her head and clarified, “Which—my tapes or the email?” 

Eilo answered without looking up, “Both.”

He finished what he was doing after a moment of quiet, then held his phone up for Ildaria and Karolina to see. “Seems like she’s still in touch with people,” he said.

They leaned forward to view the screen while he swiped at it, then Karolina laughed.  “Okay, maybe she just didn’t like me!”  

While they watched, Eilo moved through a hastily thrown together slideshow of the princess with various people Karolina knew well. Some looked like event photos. Others were captured with long lenses—paparazzi shots that made money but didn’t always generate enough interest if the other person was a comparative nobody. Not everyone had evolved in the last thirty years. Plenty of people who visited the bar during the decade of Renzo’s ownership continued to have flourishing careers. They were, at the time, young and beautiful and painfully unprepared for the lifetime of celebrity ahead of them. That’s what they brought to this place more than anything: their pain, which, being creative types, they eagerly spun into something beautiful and private. 

That’s what The Den gave them. These impossibly talented, dedicated stars created fleeting things for each other and no one else. Bands and dance troupes formed. An endless stream of songs and poetry and performance art kept the bar’s little stage occupied nightly for years. Offstage, people with no reason to meet in the real world bonded in this space of both contrived and undeniable intimacy. For some, the reprieve helped them endure the difficulty of becoming that invariably attended a rise in fame. It was detrimental to others. These were the ones who didn’t evolve—people who gave up their relevance to live forever in this meaningless, generative privacy or people who couldn’t make the choice and lost everything in the process. 

Karolina hadn’t evolved, but she hadn’t died or wanted to die either. From her perspective, what people like the princess and even Renzo himself had done wasn’t evolution. It was more like a revelation. People don’t change, she would tell Eilo and Ildaria later, over dinner, when the conversation had moved far away from the royal footnote. She believed people just uncover deeper truths about themselves, knowingly or unknowingly, and those became harder to conceal once they were exposed.

Have you felt that way before? she asked them. Exposed, like when you break your leg so hard the bone snaps right through your skin? They had. The conversation detoured to childhood misadventures, but Karolina had a point to make. She pulled them back. Some people get comfortable with that feeling and learn how to live in it. Other people, you know, they deny and lie and call it growth. That’s my opinion. I’ve seen it—artists are the worst for it, I swear. Artists who don’t want to be artists anymore? Worse than that. 

Can I say you sound bitter? Ildaria laughed. 

Now, Karolina threw her hands up. She exclaimed, joyful, That’s my truth, baby! I took too many bites of the world, and I’ve been disgusted by it ever since. Some people come out of their mamas malcontent.

Later that night, Eilo was exhausted, but Ildaria’s hand hovered over the light switch with uncertainty. She heaved a big, put-upon sigh, then asked, “Is it bad that I want to give Mencia Cipac a call?”

“Give her a call?” Eilo snorted. “Sure, Mencia Cipac, whose number you totally have, definitely won’t ignore your calls because she, for sure, knows who you are and has endless free time to spare.” He sat up straighter, then added, “No more overloading on projects. You promised. Besides, you don’t wanna poke that bear.”

“Not a bear,” Ildaria retorted. “A jaguar. Roar!”

TRANSCRIPT:

KAROLINA | Have a look. I'm ready when you are.

RENZO (O.S.) | Get that thing out of here, Karolina!

ILDARIA | Can you tell us about her?

KAROLINA | Sure. What's she going to do, sue me? CAMERAMAN | Maybe.

KAROLINA | I'll take the risk.

KAROLINA | Look, I don’t know Princess Leonor, but I met her plenty of times. She was at The Den at least half the nights in 1991, for sure. Probably into 1992, but I didn’t really keep track of her comings and goings. Definitely not after 1993

EILO | What's the story here?

KAROLINA | It wasn't anything formal.

KAROLINA | Renzo didn’t date anyone in those days, and I don’t think she did either. They liked each other. It was mutual fascination with zero understanding, is how I saw it. They hung out—liked each other’s company. Hot and fast, burned out quick, that’s what it looked like. That was Renzo.

ILDARIA | And Leonor?

KAROLINA | Like I said, I didn't know her. Seemed like a cool girl. I’m older, mind you. I think she wanted to get a little wild and try new things—this is off the record—and The Den was for her what it was for everyone. You could kick your shoes off. Scream along to your buddy’s new song, have a movie star tell you his woes while he pours your drink, get high in the dressing room and probably be fine—

ILDARIA | Did she do that?

KAROLINA | No, of course not. Not everyone did! Enough, sure. We all know the quote-unquote horror stories.

KAROLINA | She's a different person now, clearly. But, for a time, she was at The Den with everyone else, drinking too much and carrying around a pharmacy in whatever cute purse you had that night. You may remember there was a big Reyes death around then. It’s like—when my mother died in 2009, I lost my shit, too.

KAROLINA | She was having fun. I was doing worse, alright, so I only feel judgmental about it insofar as she’d probably be embarrassed if you asked her about any of it today. Royals are supposed to do their sniffing in private, right, not in a bathroom Renzo forgot to hire someone to clean. She was always a snob, but I my sense was that she liked pretending she wasn’t—roleplay, you know, transgressing or whatever.

ILDARIA | You haven't talked to her since '92?

KAROLINA | So, she knew I’d asked Renzo to let me collect photos and bring along my Zenith. I got a weird email in 2000 inquiring about them from someone who worked for her. Only one recording, by the way. The Den had a strict no video policy.

ILDARIA | We'd like to see them sometime.

KAROLINA | Which—my tapes or the email?

EILO | Both.

EILO | Seems like she's still in touch with people. KAROLINA | Okay, maybe she just didn’t like me!

ILDARIA | Is it bad that I want to give Mencia Cipac a call?

EILO | Give her a call?

EILO | Sure, Mencia Cipac, whose number you totally have, definitely won’t ignore your calls because she, for sure, knows who you are and has endless free time to spare.

EILO | No more overloading on projects. You promised. Besides, you don’t wanna poke that bear.

ILDARIA | Not a bear. A jaguar. Roar!

#ts4 story #sims story #sims 4 story #royal sims #simblr #ts4 legacy #1992.story.post #1992.a1 #1992.e04

[megumimania]

WHY DONT WE FALL IN LOVE ? - jean kirstein

summary: you and jean are brought together by a shared love of music, is that all there is or is there something more below the surface?

warnings: jean x black!reader, fluff, jean is definitely an alt rock/ grunge enthusiast, jean and reader are down bad for each other but won’t admit it, ayesha and corinne win the award for best wing women, get you a man who truly cares, the format is weird my bad

a/n: this was written for @honeybleed’s 90’s rnb event! congrats naj, you deserve everything and more!!

it was another day at the record store, where you worked part time during the weekend. you loved your job, talking with customers and bonding over your shared love for music and records was one of the main highlights of your day. of course there were some customers who were rude and pretentious but you didn’t let that deter you from providing a good experience for your customers.

the faint sounds of dreams, fairytales and fantasies by asap ferg played in the background as you were organising new stock, humming the lyrics to yourself while doing so. you were so deeply engrossed in your task that you didn't register jean's presence near you. jean was one of your favourite customers, he was a world away from the regular customers that you were so accustomed to dealing with.

when you first met him, you immediately assumed that he'd be annoyingly pretentious, condescending and snarky—a characteristic you were used to seeing on the daily. but one day he came up to the counter while you were working and you absentmindedly had your finger ready to point to the 80’s rock section, not registering the look of confusion on his face.

"what are you pointing to?" he asked, brows furrowing in confusion. you felt your cheeks flame with embarrassment, “i just assumed that you-anyways how can i help you?" you replied with a smile, trying to break the awkward tension.

he looked around sheepishly, the tips of his ears flushing a faint pink. "uhh... honestly i don't know, do you have any recommendations?” he asked, with a level of shyness which you found quite cute.

his naivety to music/good records astonished you, considering he looked like a cross between a heavy nirvana fan and a country music enthusiast. after a long conversation with him, you gave him three albums to listen to, along with your number because you wanted him to tell you if he liked the songs or not.

since then you've developed a friendship with jean despite your two best friends/coworkers, ayesha and corinne saying otherwise. you’ve always denied it but lately, you’ve started to feel some type of way about him. suddenly you’ve began to notice his dimples when he smiles, the faint freckles he has on his face or how his eyes are more of a hazel colour in the sunlight—friends usually notice these things about each other right???

jean cleared his throat, snapping you out of your reverie. “y/n, you good?” he said, giving you a once over to make sure that you were okay. you felt your face heat up and you silently thanked god that he was unable to see you blush. “yeah i’m good.” was all you managed to reply with.

a minute of tense silence passed between you both, either of you waiting on the other to break the silence between you both. “can y’all stop eyefucking each other, you’re making me sick!” corinne yelled from the counter, scaring you both. the tips of jean’s ears turned a light pink from embarrassment.

“you left your bonnet and your scarf at my place the other week.” he said handing them over to you. “i’ve washed them for you, i’d thought you’d like that.” he said, the last part coming out quieter than intended. “we still on for saturday?” he asked, his gaze locked on yours, “yeah of course.” jean smiled before responding, “cool, i’ll see you then.” he walked off, waving you goodbye which you returned.

you tried to avoid ayesha and corinne for the rest of your shift but they cornered you as soon as you left work, dragging you to a nearby cafe. “so you and jean huh?” ayesha teased, taking a sip of her drink. you sighed and rolled your eyes, pretending to look interested in the menu in hopes that ayesha would drop the question.

“guys, i might order—hey!” you protested as corinne snatched the menu from your fingertips. “there’s nothing going on between me and jean.” you finally spat out after a moment of silence. “we’re just friends.” your friends shared a look that said they weren’t buying it. “so why was your bonnet and scarf at his house then?” corinne pressed further, and you genuinely felt like you were being interrogated for a crime you didn’t commit. “i slept over at his place, its not a big deal.” you said nonchalantly, drumming your fingertips on the table.

“we all saw the way you two were staring at each other, and you really want me to believe that you guys are just friends?” ayesha added, corinne nodding in support. “it’s okay to admit that jean thee pony has got you weak in the knees, you know.” you snorted at her nickname for jean. “i hate you guys.” you sighed, staring out the window dramatically. “and we love you too, y/n!” they said in unison, pulling you in for a hug.

“y/n, your white boy is here!” corinne shouted from the hallway. you were nervous, you’d spent an hour getting ready for today and you were still unable to quell the nerves in your stomach. you debated on taking a rain-check but decided against it. you quickly added the finishing touches to your hair and makeup and headed out. corinne gave you her thumbs up of approval as you left.

jean’s plan to act cool completely evaporated once he saw you. you were gorgeous in a way he couldn’t comprehend, he tried to maintain his composure but as always his face betrayed him, unable to hide the blush that spread across his face. “you look gorgeous, y/n.” was all he managed to sputter out. you were surprised that you had him fumbling over himself like this but you found it cute.

“you look great yourself.” you replied, taking him in. from the fresh trim, to his outfit, to the cologne he was wearing, everything about him made you feel giddy inside. “where are you taking me today?” you said, hopping into his car. his gaze lingered on you for a second before he cleared his throat, “its a surprise.” he said, sticking his tongue out at you whilst turning on the ignition.

the last few minutes of the car journey, jean told you keep your eyes closed. you eyed him weirdly, but did it anyway because you trusted him. his hand remained on the small of your back as he guided you to the destination. “are we there yet?” you asked, becoming increasingly impatient, he responded to you after a moment of silence. “open your eyes.” he whispered in a low voice sending chills down your spine.

you opened your eyes and you turned to him in disbelief “how did you—i’ve been trying to book a reservation here for ages, how!” jean placed his jacket on your shoulders, noticing the way you were shivering. “the owner is a family friend of mine, plus he owed me one.” he said coolly, trying to not make it seem like a big deal. “let’s go inside.” he took your hand in his leading you into the restaurant. the interior looked gorgeous with it being fairly modern as beautiful ceiling fixtures hung above you.

you were led to your table which was on a second floor that away from everybody else. jean pulled out your chair for you letting you sit down before he did. you opened the menu scanning it to see what appealed to your tastes. whilst you were busy trying to figure out the menu, jean kept stealing glances at you. he couldn’t help it, even when he was trying to read the menu, his eyes kept drifting back to you.

you grew shy under jean’s gaze and used the menu to cover your face. jean chuckled softly, gently putting down the menu to the side. “why are you hiding your face from me, beautiful?” your face heated up at the pet name. “you make me nervous, i cant help it.” you said feeling quite bashful, he took your hand in his, tracing light figures on your palm. “believe me when i say i’ve been nervous this whole time.” you both laughed at that, it helped to diffuse the awkward tension between you both knowing that you were both nervous as each other.

dinner flowed smoothly after that as you grew comfortable with each other again, the usual banter and jokes resumed and you truly felt at home with jean. apart from the silence that was shared when you were eating, you were talking non stop and even at times when you felt like you were saying too much, he looked at you with so much adoration, wordlessly telling you to keep going. you’ve never felt so relaxed during a date before it was weird not having to condense parts of you to seem likeable when it seemed that jean liked every part of you.

one of the reasons that you wanted to dine at the restaurant for so long was for its infamous beach views. the moon hung lowly in the distance as you and jean walked down the beach, hand in hand as you talked about everything and anything. he suddenly broke out into a sprint heading straight first to the water, you had no choice but to follow him. you shuddered as you walked into the cold waters trying to find him. jean pulled you towards him making you shriek as you felt his cold hands rest on your waist. “why did you do that!” you smacked his shoulder playfully, he laughed in response. “didn’t mean to scare you, beautiful.”

he pulled you even closer, you were now breaths apart which made the moment more intimate. “how can i make it up to you, hm?” he asked softly, his eyes boring into yours as he held you in his arms. “i think i know just the trick.” he smiled softly before he picked you up and pressed his lips against yours gently and for a moment the world disappeared around you leaving you and jean in your own bubble. his lips were surprisingly warm considering how cold his hands were. “you’re forgiven.” you smiled as you pulled away from him, brushing the wet strands of hair away from his face. “good, because i wouldn’t want to be on your hitlist.” he said, laughing as he finally carried you out of the water.

#jean kirstein x reader #jean kirschtein x reader #jean kirstein x black reader #jean x reader #jean x y/n #snk jean #aot jean #jean fluff #this was so fun to write #attack on titan x black reader #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan #aot x black!reader #jean lovers unite

[distorted59]

I need Danish Gremlin Lars headcanons so bad right now plsssss

Hi!!! first of all, I'm sorry it took a little while, hope you enjoy!! <3 and again, thanks for asking!

Loves it when you play with his hands! we all know this man has incredible hands, esp with all that tape around his fingers, lord have mercy.

Would absolutely love to teach you to play the drums

He WOULD tease you with his drumsticks, i fucking know it, this man is a kinky mf.

Like, he would slide one over the inside of your thigh and the other one over your neck and breasts. 

THE TAPE AROUND HIS FINGERS STAYS ON!!! (need i say more)

He’d whisper sweet things to you in Danish, whenever he’s proud of you or when he tells you he loves you. 

ALSO, during sex???? and he’d go all crazy cus it all just feels so, so good???

I feel like he’s quite dominant, maybe in his early years (‘81-‘84) he’d be a little bendable (not literally, but who knows?). But, in the 90’s he’d be FERAL.

Like I said earlier, I feel like he’s a kinky mf. Exhibitionism, he likes to get freaky in public. He loves getting praised, he wants to hear how good he is at something. Pleasing you, playing drums, cooking, mowing the fucking lawn. He doesn’t mind, please fulfill his ego.

Small dick, but the energy is BIG.

Has stamina for DAYZZZZ!!!

He would fuck you on his drumset, i can just imagine him eating you out and hitting the kickdrum while doing so. (IM SORRY I HAD TO)

I feel like early 80’s Lars is a real sweetheart, maybe still a little shy but definitely runs his mouth. 90’s Lars has no fucking filter, he’s cocky, arrogant, gets whatever he wants and takes whatever he wants. 

Loves to just be around you, showing you he’s here. You’d watch him and the boys rehearse and he would squeeze your hand or your thigh, flashing you small smiles and giving you kisses here and there. 

“You still with us, darling?” He squeezes your thigh, smiling with those adorable dimples of his. 

"Hm?" You dozed off a little, but his fingers sliding to the inside of your thigh keep you very awake. 

“Are you enjoying watching us, babe?” Lars grins.

“Oh, yeah.” You nod. “You’re doing great, baby.” 

“You think so?” He smirks proudly, his fingers tracing circles over your soft skin. “You like watching me play?” 

“Mhm.” You hum and smile down at his hand. Already knowing what you two will be doing later. 

He would take you to Denmark, showing you his hometown and places he went to as a kid. His childhood home (which is now a fertility clinic I believe, lol) and his school, where he played tennis as a boy. 

He loves art so he would take you on little museum trips and years later to these auctions where he would sell the pieces from his home for millions of dollars, (SKOM docu).

Loves bragging to people about you. “My girl is great, she’s the prettiest woman i know.” and "Well, my girl loves playing the drums with me." <3

You know those bandanas he wore in the 80’s? Yeah, tying your wrists up with them or putting it in your mouth to prevent you from moaning too loud <3.

He is a little fruity tho. (so threesome with Kirk maybe? yes/no?)

Load/Reload era, this man wore some heavy eyeliner. I can see him asking you for a little help.

He’s in the bathroom, trying to figure out what the fuck to do here.

“Babe, could you help me out here?” He holds up the pencil and gives you puppy dog eyes. 

“With what, baby?” you walk into the bathroom and look at him, slight confusion written over your face. “Is that my eyeliner?” 

“It’s for the new album!” He protests. “We got a new look, ya know?”

“What, cutting your hair wasn’t enough?” You tease him and sit on the sink counter. 

You take the eyeliner from his hands and pull him closer by his shirt, you wrap your legs around his waist and make him look at you by holding his chin. 

“Okay, close your eyes.” 

He obliges and you softly apply the liner just above his lash line. He squints a little and breathes out through his nose. 

“Don’t move, baby.” You scold him. 

“Sorry, It feels a little weird.” a wide smile spreads on his face. 

“Look up for me.” 

He does what he tells you, looking at you before he looks up entirely. You apply some under his waterline, smudging the edges gently with your fingers. 

“All done, babe.” You kiss his lips softly. 

He smiles into the kiss and murmurs a “thank you” against your lips. He checks himself out in the mirror behind you and grins. 

“Wow, I look sexy!” 

“Larzy Poo” - James Hetfield, 2023

#thanks for the ask! #thank you anon #lars ulrich #lars ulrich x reader #lars ulrich headcanons #my headcanons #headcanons #lars ulrich x y/n #fanfic #fanfiction #metallica fanfiction #metallica smut #smut #metallica #james hetfield x reader #metallica oneshot #metallica x y/n #request #requests are open #kirk hammett #larzy poo #distorted59

[in-death-we-fall]

Slipknot

Calculated Carnage: The Numbers Don’t Lie

By Paul Gargano (google drive link)

Ten years ago, the Limelight was a landmark for bands who performed in New York City. Women danced in cages suspended from vaulted ceilings, stained glass surrounded a stage elevated on what used to be an altar and men and women mingled in lines for the unisex bathrooms. Built as a church decades earlier, the site had since been deconsecrated, converted to a nightclub, and angel-shaped disco balls hung where a crucifix was once suspended. It was the perfect–not to mention haunting and eerie–setting for the inspired debauchery of sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll that made the late ‘80s and early ‘90s such revered times. And almost a decade later, recently reopened, it was the perfect venue to host the live chaos that is Slipknot.

Had there still been cages, more timid members of the crowd may have fled for them, seeking sanctity from the madness that overwhelmed the mosh pit, a floor previously occupied by rows of pews. In stark contrast to the gothic styling of the stained glass that overlooked them, Slipknot’s red jumpsuits were bright and glaring, punching into the flashing strobes and lights that lit the stage and sold-out crowd. It was a venue far too small for Slipknot–who had made their network television debut only hours earlier on Late Night With Conan O’Brien–but what it lacked in size, it made up for in character, with fans occupying choir lofts that overlooked the insanity.

It’s been a whirlwind year for Slipknot, and post-show was no exception, where #1 and #2–drummer Joey and bassist Paul, who both founded the band with #6, custom-percussionist Shawn–took some time away from the post-show madness to offer their insight behind the band that has taken the world by storm over the past year. They left the following morning for a European tour that was ultimately cut short by a personal issue at home–says Joey, “When you get a call that brings you back to where your whole mind should be, you’ve gotta take care of that stuff first and foremost”–and in the midst of planning this summer’s anticipated Tattoo The Earth tour with Sevendust and Coal Chamber, are already at work on their sophomore album, which they hope to release early next year. Who knew Des Moines, Iowa could be so inspiring?

METAL EDGE: Looking at what’s going on with today’s hard rock/metal scene, it’s starting to look a bit like the rap industry, with all the separate camps and alliances. #1 (JOEY): Honestly, that type of shit disgust’s (sic) me. #2 (PAUL): We don’t need it. It’s not that we’re going out of our way, we just say what we feel, so either take it or leave it. Korn opened a lot of doors when they came out, and that’s that. Limp Bizkit, well, I’m not going to go there… Wes [Borland] is a good guitar player. It’s scary. I picked up a magazine yesterday with a “Slipknot vs. Limp Bizkit” poll for fans to vote on, and it came out to be Slipknot over Limp Bizkit like 70% to 30%. I don’t know how that happened and I’m very worried about… I mean, you got a magazine that caters to the teenybopper metal crowd, and you’ve got every fucking issue with Korn, Marilyn Manson, Limp Bizkit and Orgy. And now Slipknot’s in every issue–I don’t like that. The thing is, I guess I can’t help it because if it matters that much to the kids, I say, “thank you.” You know how appreciative we all are, you’ve hung out with the band. You know how humble we all are about what’s happening to all of us. But, when the next record comes out, our record label is not going to fucking hear it until it’s done. No one’s going to hear it. No studio reports. There’s not going to be anything done. We’re going back to our old, old, old fucking dingy practice room with my mom coming down and fucking doing laundry in the middle of practice. That’s the way it needs to be done because we’ve accomplished this on writing music that we thought filled our emotional need. Now, the emotional need has been magnified so much because of the experiences we’ve been through, so it’s just gonna be a massively, apocalyptic, totally sick and disgusting record.

ME: Do you realize the impact you’re having on your fans? I was at your instore in New York City and it was more enthusiastic than any I’d seen before. Your fans really seem to connect with you. #1: Yeah, well that’s the thing. People always talk about needing to branch out and try different things, and I’m okay with that. We want to get our music out to different crowds, but I sometimes don’t. I wanna make sure that we please the fans that were there from the beginning and understood every aspect when no one else understood. I wanna make sure that that fan remains happy for every record. We expected to sell maybe 150-200,000 records–And not until after two years of touring. Well, I guess we filled a void in those kids… They needed this band for awhile. That’s the whole thing, I don’t necessarily want to lump myself in with those bands because I feel we have nothing in common with them, but I give total respect to Korn because on their first fucking record they opened up so many doors and they did something completely original. You’ve got the mainstay, bands like Black Sabbath, and they’re got a bunch of imitators, but there’s only one Black Sabbath. I’m not a fan of Limp Bizkit, but there’s only one of them–Even though they came after Korn. You’ve got the Deftones and stuff, they all have very energetic and very, at times, liberating music. Limp Bizkit I can’t get into, I’m not a fan, and I think we’re the total opposite of a lot of that stuff that band stands for. It’s for some people, it’s not for some people, and I don’t want to be liked by everyone–That’s the scary thing. It’s so weird that so many people have identified with what we’re doing now–It’s very scary. #2: Yes! And it’s amazing, too, because we don’t get a lot of help from the radio and MTV like these other bands. We occasionally get our video played, and there are some radio stations, but it just proves that the kids need something different. They’re sick of the same old shit being pumped down their throats.

ME: There’s an extra psychological burden, “We’re not just a band anymore, we’re a cultural force.” Did you ever want that? #1: You know what? Yes, I have, and I love the fact, I’m very fucking fortunate and grateful. I do not want to decrease it in any way. I do want to make it bigger. I wanna make it bigger by keeping the fire real and by keeping the emotion and all that shit real. And not worrying about my record label breathing down my neck like they did last time for rough mixes and fucking, “Can you try and make…” No! Ther’s why the ante has been upped on making such a fucking… You could even say it’s overcompensated and fucking disjointed as far as our personalities are concerned. We were going to record in May, but we’re going to stay out and tour because the demand for the record and the demand for us to tour now is so huge in the States–We haven’t been there, we really haven’t toured since early January and that was only like two-and-a-half weeks. Our shows were sold-out, but now we’re selling 30,000 copies a week and we’re beating the system by being played on MTV–which I’m not a fan of–and radio stations like the L.A. K-Rock and the New York K-Rock. I guess I thank them for playing us–We could have it a lot worse–but the fact is, the next record probably wouldn’t turn out the same because we’ve been through a lot of experiences now. We’re going to work so hard on it and I think it’s going to be so ground-breaking for the fact that when you go through all the things we’ve just gone through, it will never be like this again. That’s why it’s very hard for a lot of bands to copy their first record and I love that people say that. Our first record is that good. It is a very pinnacle-type album. I’m so glad that people say that because I still have that hunger that I had when I was fucking playing in front of three people in Lincoln, Nebraska with a bartender and then a cat outside, grasshoppers and fucking crickets. We are maintaining that type of a focus. #2: When we started this band, I knew it was something kids needed. I didn’t think it would be like this, but I had a feeling. Nothing’s settled in yet. We’re on the road playing shows, and that’s basically all that’s settled in! Get up and play another show! [Laughing]

ME: But it’s not enough to just “play another show” every night, you guys are beating the crap out of each other and takin’ bumps. #2: Who wants to see a band up onstage staring at their shoes? That’s not entertaining. We definitely have our bruises and our sore body parts after shows, but once we get the masks and coveralls on, I could have a broken leg and still go out there. In Australia, I tore cartilage in my knee, I couldn’t bend it, and I just taped it up really well and went out there. Shawn’s played with broken ribs. We just don’t feel the pain.

ME: You need to look into some aspirin endorsements! #2: Advil would be real nice! [Laughing] It hurts, the masks aren’t comfortable at all–it would be awesome to play in shorts and a t-shirts (sic), but that’s not us. After the show we can rest all we want.

ME: There’s a definite sense of surprise in your stage show, you never know what’s happening next. Does anyone ever take it too far and cross the line? #1: No. It can never go too far. Never too over-the-top. For a band like us, that’s the first sign of us not being what we stand for.

ME: Joey, from your vantage point onstage what do you see looking out from behind your kit? What goes through your head? #1: Honestly, I can’t even put that in words. You’re the first person that ever asked me that, but it’s something that I think about every day. I guess I see the other side of when I was in the audience watching Slayer or Metallica. I’m usually the first person out onstage, and everytime I come out there are literally tears. I really can’t explain it, it’s so grand, it’s so bigger than words. Literally, I’m getting cracked up just talking about it.

ME: Did you anticipate this kind of success, this fast? #1: Well, sometimes, but that’s just society’s control. Welcome it. If it happens this fast, welcome it and use it to your advantage and make sure that you… Like I said, I thanks all of our fans so much for fucking supporting what we have done, because it’s made me not wanna fucking destroy myself. Back in Des Moines, I thought I was literally going to die if I didn’t get to do this. I get to do it now. But, the whole thing is, when you climb one mountain, it’s time to make sure the next mountain gets climbed and the next one .And you gotta re-evaluate the goal because we got this many people on our side now. It’s like Guns N’ Roses coming so fucking fast, the next thing you know, the dude hasn’t put out a record in like a decade. Like Mike Patton, probably one of the most fucking insane performers and songwriters of the decade–He is so underrated, went on to sell millions of albums in the early ‘90s, and continually turned around and spit in everyone’s faces by putting out albums with some of the most fucked up shit I’ve ever heard. We always say that if things get too big, too fast, if there’s no room for the band to grow because we’ve already accomplished so much, it’ll be time for the band to stop. Johnny Rotten said that the easiest thing to do is stop being a rock star if you don’t want to be one anymore–I thought that statement had so much integrity, and it’s had such an impact on me. I think about that quote every day. #2: It’s amazing. Just to be able to see the country and play these shows for kids all over the place, it’s the most amazing thing. I can’t believe people get paid to do this. I would pay to do this! It rules, I can’t ask for anything more. I just sit back, smile, and if there’s any bullshit, I just smile and let it go on by without bothering me.

ME: Do you think there’s a need for rock stars in society today? #1: Yes, because I needed them, and if I didn’t have them I wouldn’t be where I’m at. It’s like giving two cents back to the music that meant so much to me growing up–Black Sabbath, Slayer, Venom and Mercyful Fate. I showed up at the Clash of the Titans tour long before anyone else did because I was hoping to catch a glimpse of Tom Araya, and last summer, I got to hang out with him. That’s a weird thing, but I needed it to become who I am today. That’s why I’ll welcome it if it’s happened this fast, because people obviously needed it. When we were practicing for pre-production of our album, we were in the same rehearsal space as KISS. I was drawing their logos all over my books in school, now we were practicing next to them, we were standing outside listening to their whole set. The funny thing was, when they all left the room, we were stealing sticks and stuff! It’s being that fan, because we still are that. On OZZfest, I’d watch Slayer from the front row every day, not like a rock star standing on the side of the stage with a laminate.

ME: Has being from Des Moines had a lot to do with your development? #1: Absolutely. From day one. Had we come from L.A. or New York, we would not have the band that we have. Honestly, we grasped on to something early on that meant something so much, then you take that and revel in it, building, building and building, practicing, practicing and practicing, and creating, creating and creating. You magnify those three things, you keep it going and you network, and if you can do that coming from where we’ve come from, you can do it anywhere, because it was a virtual black hole that Corey describes as a graveyard with buildings. #2: It’s weird, it’s almost impossible to get A&R people to Iowa. Half the people don’t even know where it is–”Iowa, isn’t that the potato state?” No, it’s corn country. No one wants to go to Des Moines for their weekend! Finally, Ross Robinson came out and said that regardless of the label, he’ll do the record. Now there are people looking all over Iowa for bands, but there’s just the one and only… People were hoping it would be the “new metal Mecca,” but it’s only us! There area (sic) few good blues bands out here, though.

ME: How long was Slipknot in the making? #1: Ten years in the making. From the day I started playing drums, the day I started playing guitar. Me, Paul and Shawn started the band. Paul and I were playing in different side projects, and I met all those other guys because we’d set up shows with friends’ bands and we’d be playing for each other. There was no one in the audience. When you put up a flier you’d get fined $50. There’s no audience. Not a fucking person. And we had no money because we spent it all (sic) drum stands and guitar strings, struggling to buy that shit. There were no newspapers or radio stations that would tell you about the bands. No doubt, man, all this stuff that’s happened to the band? You don’t even hear about it there. We go home and it’s like we never left. A girl that was on Jenny Jones was big news, but Des Moines doesn’t recognize the gold album, selling out all our shows, being on Conan O’Brien, doing OZZfest. They do’t even write about it. You wouldn’t believe it, but it’s the truth. It just goes back to show me why that place is so fucking special, because it’s such an integral part of making music. I’m glad it’s still like that, because when I go back home, the only thing I want to do is get back on tour, work hard on writing music and stay doing that until the album’s finished.

ME: Was there a certain point where you had the vision that would evolve into Slipknot? #2: Well, it wasn’t planned, it definitely evolved. The lack of anything in Des Moines definitely fueled it, and we just went from there. When we got together, we didn’t have any rules about what it would be, we just got together and the nine people made it what it is. All day, every day, that’s what the band is. The band’s my life, it means everything, it’s my family. It’s what I love the most, and it’s what I hate the most.

ME: It sounds like you’ve accomplished more than you ever hoped to, what’s next? #2: For now, just doing our shows and being with my best friends. But in the long term, it’s going to be world domination. That’s what we’re trying to accomplish. #1: Once you climb one mountain you need to reevaluate and climb another one. We’re going to continue to tour and knock it out, all the way through Tattoo. Then we’d like to go into the studio. Then the next step is to take the most anticipated disjointed, apocalyptic, gross-sounding, disgusting type of exorcism you can imagine and put them all on one record. Every song will be twice what every song on the last album was. It’s all about the band maintaining the good attitude and integrity, and the same fire and hunger that we’ve had, and taking that and magnifying it and making a way better album. #2: Our next record is going to be over the fucking top. It’s going to be stupid!

ME: With things blowing up so fast, what are you proudest of as a band? #2: I’m proudest every day of just being in this band. What blows me away most of all is the fact that I get to do it. The fact that I’m in a band with my best friends, playing songs that we wrote in a basement, and seeing all the emotion from people who come out and get it every night. #1: Our middle finger attitude. How we’ve beaten the system in less than a year, all eyes have turned, and we’ve answered to nobody. That’s why I’m glad it happened as fast as it did. Hard work over time? Sure, good things come, but when it happens that fast it’s more poignant and people remember it more. It’s freaky and it’s very surreal, but that’s why I did welcome it. There’s a reason it happened so fast, because those kids need to stand for something. That’s why I think the next record may shun some people. Is it too over the top? No, it can’t be.

ME: Are you afraid of being “too metal”? #1: We’re fully metal, and we’ve always said that. People are afraid of that word because when Pearl jam and Nirvana came they were supposed to make music more open-minded, but they really made it more closed-minded than ever. We’ll always be a metal band.

ME: You were offered OZZfest this year, why not do it again? It’s a big risk headlining your own tour. #1: There are a lot of reasons why we didn’t do it. It was very cool to do it, but I don’t need an encore performance of it. The Tattoo tour wasn’t our concept, someone came up with it and brought it to us and it was something that we were into. We stepped in. It’s cool to start something from the ground up and not know if it’s going to work. I like everything to be very unpredictable, like playing a show.

ME: It seems like you guys have just gone out of your way to defy everyone in any position of power. Is that conscious? #1: No, because we’ve always done it and we still don’t make any money–There are nine people in this band! The stage manager will come up to us before the show and say, “Please don’t burn anything on the stage, don’t throw your drums, don’t break anything…” Well, that’s a bad thing to tell us, because we’re in debt anyway. Break it all, spend all the money! We’re not making any smart fucking business calls! That’s what lawyers and managers are for. It’s all about being in the moment and being in the vibe, and you can’t deny that. If you deny human feelings, you’re a fraud. #2: I think people are drawn to honesty. Who wants smoke blown up their ass? People want to know that we’re for real. People are drawn to it because they’re sick of all the other bullshit.

ME: We’ve heard about a lot of the bands that you don’t get along with, what are some of the bands you really respect? #1: Amen. They’re very good friends of ours and have the same type of fire even though they create a different style of music. I’m a very big fan of Mike Patton’s [Faith No More] projects and the Melvins. I respect all those guys because they don’t care. They make music just for themselves, they don’t let outside influences get to them.

ME: If you could leave your fans with any one message, what would it be? #2: Be yourselves and don’t fuckin’ worry about everyone else. Do your own shit… And, thanks! From the bottom of our hearts, we thank every kid who’s ever bought our album, checked the website out, or given us any support. If it wasn’t for them, we wouldn’t be doing this interview, so from the bottom of our hearts, thank you.

#if you want anything else from this scanned lemme know! #slipknot #joey jordison #paul gray #metal edge 46-3 jul 2000 #interview #god i love this one 😭

[fuckyeslilkim]

Rapper Lil' Kim Has Had A Profound Impact On Fashion Over The Years

hen Lil’ Kim made her debut with the 1996 album Hard Core, she utterly and completely changed the rap game. A protege of Notorious B.I.G., and the sole female member of his hip-hop group Junior M.A.F.I.A., Lil’ Kim, aka Kimberly Denise Jones, had a flow that was raw and gritty, with raunchy, sexually liberating lyrics that made critics clutch their pearls. Hard Core went on to become certified double platinum by the RIAA, cementing the then-22-year-old as a bona fide hip-hop god. But it wasn’t just Lil’ Kim’s lyrical prowess that set her apart from her contemporaries that came before her. Her sense of style also made her a trailblazer, solidifying her as a pop culture fashion icon.

While other women rappers like Queen Latifah, Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes, and Da Brat favored more androgynous clothing, like oversize T-shirts and baggy jeans, Lil’ Kim’s outfits were ultra-feminine, bold, risqué, and revealing — as provocative and outrageous as her songs. She wore teeny-tiny bikinis, see-through silhouettes, candy-colored wigs, and equally vibrant fur coats. She also helped popularize ’90s and noughties logomania, a trend in which designer branding is made overtly obvious on one’s clothing and accessories (the antithesis to “quiet luxury”). In Kim’s case, logomania also applied to hairstyles, as she famously wore wigs with Chanel’s double “C” logo and Versace’s Greek key motif. (The move made sense for someone who frequently name-dropped designers in her lyrics). Aside from head-to-toe designer monograms, Kim has worn a sparkly catsuit made with 965,000 crystals, embellished headpieces with matching thongs, and a gray, floor-length chinchilla coat (which she modeled next to mob daughter Victoria Gotti in the video for 2003’s “Came Back for You”). The list goes on.

“She was bringing something new that we hadn’t really seen before,” says Elizabeth Way, fashion historian and associate curator at the Museum at the Fashion Institute of Technology (FIT). “For so long, female rappers had been kind of marginalized and really tried to fit in with their male counterparts, especially with their style. Lil’ Kim rejected that and embraced her femininity in both her style and her lyrics.” Marissa Pelly, stylist for the rapper Ice Spice, shares a similar sentiment, pointing out how the industry made female musicians feel like they couldn’t boldly embrace their sexuality while simultaneously being perceived as “chic” or “luxury” — as if the two concepts could not co-exist. “Now when I see female artists owning their sexuality, while also being muses for some of fashion’s most elite houses, I think of — and I thank — Lil’ Kim.”

Behind every celebrity style icon is a brilliant stylist; a wizard behind the velvet curtain, so to speak. For Lil’ Kim, it was Misa Hylton. One cannot discuss Kim’s vestiary tours de force without mentioning the industry legend by her side, who had already been masterminding looks for Mary J. Blige, Faith Evans, Jodeci, and her then-boyfriend Sean “Diddy” Combs. But theirs was a match made in fashion heaven; the two women felt an immediate kinship. “I think that Kim and I were magical together and when you have that type of synergy only greatness can come forth. We were thinking outside of the box and unapologetically taking risks. People gravitate to that type of authentic and creative energy,” Hylton told Dazed in 2018.

The two women set the bar high high from the beginning with a legendary look the promotional poster for Hard Core, Kim’s debut album: a leopard print bikini and a sheer, marabou-trimmed duster. The one-piece was designed by Sex and the City costume designer Patricia Field, who owned a store in New York City from 1996 until 2016. It was known to be a hot shopping spot for fellow performers like Debbie Harry, Lady Gaga, and Kim’s friend and frequent collaborator Missy Elliott. Hylton and Kim frequented Field’s boutique almost daily. In the years — and decades — that followed, both the look, and Kim’s signature squatting pose, would be replicated by the likes of Teyana Taylor, Nicki Minaj, GloRilla, and countless others.

Hylton and Kim also went all out for the “Crush on You” music video, directed by Lance Rivera. Inspired by the The Wiz’s color-changing Emerald City disco dance sequence, the video featured the star in monochromatic technicolor outfits and matching wigs — and instantly catapulted her to mainstream MTV fame. “When you think of the blueprint for most female musicians’ styles today, you think the designer logos; the iced-out, statement jewelry; and different styles of wigs — that was all her,” explains stylist Estelle Aporongao. “Kim’s DNA runs through the contemporary fashion industry’s veins.”

In 1998, Kim donned a bejeweled caged headpiece and matching arm sleeves to the 1998 Soul Train Lady of Soul Awards, which felt like the ultimate statement. But the rapper topped herself yet again a year later when she attended the MTV Video Music Awards in a purple wig and lilac-colored, sequined jumpsuit, complete with a single purple pasty that garnered an unforgettable reaction from Diana Ross. The moment would become the stuff of award show legend.

That same year, Kim covered Interview magazine’s November issue wearing only a Louis Vuitton headgear and LV logos painted all over her body, a moment described as a “cultural reset” by celebrity stylist Audrey Brianne, who works with Chris Tucker and Tyler Posey. “At the time, it was a fresh idea no other star had rocked quite so boldly. If people weren’t already paying attention to Lil’ Kim by then, they were now,” she says.

To be clear, Lil’ Kim was interested in fashion long before she dressed in colorful furs. “Her high school friends recounted how she would spend her allowance on clothes and had Gucci before they even knew what it was,” explains Nygel Simons, a stylist and archivist, noting that the artist also worked at Bloomingdale’s prior to rapping full time. “It really shines through when an artist genuinely loves fashion.” Nowadays, it’s not out of the ordinary for a designer to dress hip-hop artists for red carpets or sit them front row at Fashion Week, but in the 1990s, that relationship didn’t really exist. Lil’ Kim had a je ne sais quoi that both attracted and inspired designers like Karl Lagerfeld, Giorgio Armani, Betsey Johnson, John Galliano, and Donatella Versace, who would dress her for her 1999 Met Gala debut.

Way long before Barbiecore would become a part of the cultural zeitgeist, Lil’ Kim sported a pink, full-length mink coat with a studded pink bra, matching hot pants, and pink snakeskin boots for the “Rock Style”-themed Met Gala. “Donatella is my girl. We’ve loved each other from the moment we first saw each other,” Kim told Vogue in 2020. “At the Met, you’re a designer’s muse, [and] she loved the fact that I have fun in her clothes.”

Lil’ Kim has also walked the runway for designers including Baby Phat, The Blonds, and VFiles. But her closest friendship is with fashion designer Marc Jacobs, whom she calls her “bestie” and who has played a significant role in her life and career. Jacobs dressed Kim for her court appearances and subsequently became her prison pen pal when she served a one-year sentence for lying to protect friends involved in a 2001 shootout. Kim sent Jacobs the Bratz doll coloring pages she painted, which he then had framed and hung in his house. Jacobs is also writing the foreword for her forthcoming memoir, The Queen Bee.

“These were interesting and important alliances for her during the early 2000s because it further legitimized the message to her fans and the public that her empire and reach extended well beyond music,” says stylist Alison Brooks, who works with television personality and hairstylist Jonathan Van Ness. “I believe it was a turning point, not so subtly signaling to other artists to bling themselves out in designer looks with confidence and embrace their curves with body positivity before body positivity became a thing.”

When it comes to her own work, Pelly says she’s strongly influenced by Lil’ Kim. “I love how effortlessly she would combine her own fun custom pieces with luxury ones, while also demonstrating a great deal of high-end fashion knowledge.” Pelly says she had this approach in mind while styling Ice Spice for the “Barbie World” music video, pairing a custom Chanel-inspired, Christian Cowan tweed set with a Barbiecore bra by Laser Kitten, custom Emilio Pucci, and pieces from the Gaultier archives. “It’s that duality that’s so inspiring to me and creates the most interesting, well-rounded looks every time.” She also drew ideas from Kim’s 2003 “Summer Jam” performance, in which she wears SS03 Jean Paul Gaultier script belts around her waist and chest. “I love when artists love the same brands I do... I tracked down the same belts for Ice’s Paper Magazine cover back in April as a nod to the OG style icon.”

It’s difficult to imagine what would have happened if Lil’ Kim hadn’t paved the way for women in hip-hop to take fashion risks. Cardi B might not have worn archival Mugler to the 2019 Grammy Awards, and who knows if Megan Thee Stallion would have modeled for Calvin Klein. Then there’s the countless Kim homages artists have paid over the years: Beyoncé replicated several of Kim’s famous looks for Halloween 2017; Rihanna has cited the rapper’s penchant for experimenting with different looks as a major influence on her own fashion sense; and Miley Cyrus dressed in Kim’s MTV VMAs look for Halloween back in 2013, purple pasty and all. It’s for reasons like these that stylists like Simons believe Lil’ Kim deserves official acknowledgement for her legacy, particularly from the Council of Fashion Designers of America. (For years, fans have been calling on the CFDA to honor Kim with its annual Fashion Icon award.)

One thing’s for sure: You’d be hard-pressed to find another hip-hop fashion icon with the same enduring legacy. “Lil’ Kim is the blueprint,” says Simons. “Whenever you think you’re being presented with something new, if you search hard enough, you’ll find that Kim has already done it at some point.”

#lil kim #lil' kim #rap #queen of rap #rapper #fashion #fashion icon #cfda #hiphop #female rap #female rapper #queen bee #naomi campbell #hip hop

[randomvarious]

Today's compilation:

Now That's What I Call Music! 9 2002 Pop / Hip Hop / R&B / Teen Pop / Alternative Rock / Latin Pop / Southern Rap

Alright, folks, it's time for another fun trip down memory lane, and today we're going back to 2001 and 2002, with the help of the 9th volume from the most pervasive contemporary pop compilation series that's ever existed in US history: the one and only Now That's What I Call Music!

But first, before we..."Dig In"...let's get a dose of some of that good nostalgia with the ad for this release, shall we? Did you know that if you ordered it over the phone by credit or check/debit, you'd also get a free multi-purpose picture frame-mousepad too?! Wow, so cool! 😎

Anyway, being that these sets more or less serve as documentations of what the pop music landscape was like during a pretty specific time period, what this CD seems to demonstrate, in retrospect, is that the teen pop that had really dominated the late 90s was on a bit of a downturn in '01 and '02, and its status as the most prominent type of pop music was being usurped by hip hop and R&B.

But that's also not to say that all of the teen pop on here is of a low quality either, because *NSYNC's "Gone," which was the first track of theirs to ever be fully led from start to finish by Justin Timberlake, is really one of the greatest boy band tunes that's ever been made. Minimal, but emotional, and its bridge, specifically, is spectacular 😍.

Outside of that bit of brilliance, though, the R&B and hip hop tunes are just a lot better. And to me, the song that really stands out among the rest within this whole collection is Ginuwine's "Differences," a terrific slow jam that featured some incredibly shimmering and ringing keys. Normally, I don't go for slow R&B ballads, but this one in particular was really something special.

And there's also some bangers on here that you might've just flat out forgot ever existed too. Like, remember that New Jersey co-ed R&B/hip group, City High, that gave us "What Would You Do?" back in 2001? Well, do you remember their follow-up hit that featured Eve on it, "Caramel"? Its remix, by prolific New York duo Trackmasters, seems to be on that vague South Asian fad that so much mainstream hip hop and R&B was on at around that time, and it received a considerable amount of radio play. But looking back on it, I think it's actually been pretty memory-holed!

Also, we gotta give it up for Petey Pablo's ode to his home state of North Carolina too, with "Raise Up," because the Egyptian-sampled beat on that thing was absolutely bananas. And I can't say that I'm all that fond of much southern rap, in general, but Petey's debut hit was an absolute monster. Rather than him having to sacrifice any of his rawness in order to reach a pop audience, he was able to bring his rawness to a pop audience instead. And clearly, it resonated with a whole lot of folks.

And lastly, I think we all know that Ja Rule wasn't the greatest rapper out there, but his contributions to the turn-of-the-millennium pop landscape were pretty important. He got clowned on harshly by the likes of 50 Cent and Eminem, et al, and, as a result, his career was pretty much eviscerated, but songs like his Stevie Wonder-sampled "Livin' It Up" were straight-up party jams that really deserve more love and respect.

So, another highly enjoyable rush of radio and music television memories here. A bunch of commercial classics and a smattering of jams that are a bit more forgotten too. It's pretty much all you can ever ask for out of one of these Now CDs 😊.

P.S.: I'll provide a link to it, but for the love of god, under no circumstances should you ever subject yourself to the first track on this album, which is a remix of P!nk's "Get the Party Started" that features Redman and tries to mesh itself with "Sweet Dreams," by The Eurythmics. Apparently P!nk thought that her hair gave her enough power to also possess the essence of Annie Lennox or something, but good lord, was that calculus completely wrong 🥴. Such an excruciatingly bad song! Don't click on it!

Highlights:

Mary J. Blige - "Family Affair" Jennifer Lopez - "Ain't It Funny" Ja Rule feat. Case - "Livin' It Up" Ludacris - "Rollout (My Business)" Mr. Cheeks - "Lights, Camera, Action" Petey Pablo - "Raise Up (All Cities Remix)" City High - "Caramel (Trackmasters Remix)" Nelly Furtado - "Turn off the Light" *NSYNC - "Gone" Ginuwine - "Differences" Lenny Kravitz - "Dig In" Incubus - "Wish You Were Here"

#pop #hip hop #rap #r&b #r and b #teen pop #alternative rock #alternative #alternative music #alt rock #alt #alt music #rock #latin pop #latin #latin music #southern rap #southern hip hop #dirty south #music #2000s #2000s music #2000's #2000's music #00s #00s music #00's #00's music #Youtube

[secretswiftymarvelfan]

The Demigod From Asgard - Steve Rogers x Reader (Part 90)

Summary: You, Steve and JJ say goodbye to two very important people

Word Count: 7.3k

Warnings: Heavy Angst! Grief! Language!

Dividers by @firefly-graphics​

Series Masterlist / Masterlist

Chapter 90: Bigger Than The Whole Sky

You were standing on the back porch, a steaming cup of coffee in hand as you watched Scout run around the backyard. The sun was only just rising, steam swirling up from the dewy grass.

You gave a small smile as Scout ran up the porch steps and sat down in front of you, his tail wagging as he smiled up at you. You scratched him behind the ear, breathing out a long sigh as you felt yourself being grounded. You hadn’t even realised your mind had gotten away from you until Scout walked over.

“Thanks pal” you mutter as he nuzzled his snout into your leg.

The sound of the backdoor opening had you glancing over your shoulder. Steve smiled at you gently as he walked over, his own cup of coffee in hand, a blanket in the other.

“Hey I thought you might be getting chilly,” Steve says as he set his coffee carefully down on the railing as he wraps the blanket over your shoulders.

“I’m fine but thank you” you smile grateful, pulling the blanket around you more.

“You were up early today” Steve comments as he picks his coffee back up and takes a sip.

You just hummed, you hadn’t told him you’d been waking up early every morning for the past week. Laying in bed just waiting for him to wake up, lying when you told him you’d just woken.

“I um have a little gift for you,” Steve says setting his coffee back down making you look up at him with an arched brow.

He reaches into his sweatpants pocket, pulling out a small red notebook that you instantly recognised “I know I gave mine to Bucky already, but when I was moving here” Steve starts glancing back at the house “I found yours and something I told my therapist about was how sad I felt when some movie or album came out that I knew you’d love, so she told me to write it down as if I was writing to you” he explains looking down at the small notebook “I never thought you’d be able to read it, but maybe it’ll help you catch up” he says passing it over to you.

Your jaw drops as you put down your coffee in favour of taking the small notebook, flipping through it to find the contents had practically doubled in your absence. You saw albums by your favourite artists, new Disney movies. What made your breath catch was reading all the notes Steve had added. His thoughts and comments about the movies, what he liked, if he thought old movies were better.

You let out a watery chuckle, wiping away the stray tear that fell as you hold the notebook close to your heart “thank you Stevie” you smile stepping closer, reaching up to kiss him.

Steve smiles into the kiss, wrapping his arm around you to keep you close. As you pull away you rest your head against his chest. The both of you looking out at the backyard where Scout was back to running around.

“You ready for today?” Steve asked after a few moments.

You let out a long sigh, today those that remained from the original Avengers were meeting to discuss what happened next. The plans for Nat and Tony’s funeral. You and Steve had also decided that you’d tell JJ about Uncle Tony today. A week had passed since the final battle and you both felt things had settled enough now.

“No… but I’m not sure I’ll ever be” you admit “it’s still not sunk in that they’re gone”

Steve nods his hand running up and down your back soothingly “no me neither, I guess we’ve been in a bit of a bubble the past few days” he sighs.

You hum in agreement “it’ll be nice to see everyone else though, especially Thor” you say looking up at Steve “what happened between you two by the way?”

Steve let out a long sigh “he struggled a lot following the snap, he lost everyone and his coping strategies weren’t healthy, he was drunk all the time” Steve recalled “one day something in him snapped, he was visiting JJ and just exploded out of nowhere, scaring JJ, we argued, hurtful things were said and I cut him off” he shook his head looking down in shame “it was wrong, I should have tried to help him but I needed to protect JJ, I couldn’t have him hurting JJ”

“It's okay- I understand,” you say your hand running over his chest “I’m just glad things are looking up”

“they are, we talked it out put everything behind us and he promised to clean up his act, even threw his flask of liquor into the lake” Steve hums.

“wow, he’s been protective over that his entire life” you mutter in disbelief.

A smile tugs at Steve's lips as he looks down at you “people will do the impossible for those they love” he says quietly leaning down to press a gentle kiss to your lips “c’mon lets head inside, I’ll cook up some breakfast” he says nodding to the back door.

“do you want me to help?” you offer as you walk back inside.

“no, you relax I’ve got it” Steve smiles, winking at you as he opens up the fridge to get what he needed.

It was around midday that everyone else started arriving. Clint was the first to arrive, a solemn look on his face, one that only brightened when you asked him how the kids were. Thor arrived shortly after, and once he’d given you a tight hug he sat down with JJ and told him fantastical stories from Asgard. You and Steve kept one ear on that conversation to make sure Thor didn’t tell anything you didn’t think was appropriate for a 6-year-old to hear. Bruce was the last to arrive, carefully squeezing through the front door and sitting hesitantly down on the couch scared it would break under his hulk weight. It didn’t thankfully.

“Okay JJ is upstairs watching Cars 2 with Scout,” Steve says rubbing his hands together as he walked down the stairs and back into the living room “we haven’t told him about Tony yet, we don’t particularly want him overhearing us” he explained as he sat down on the couch next to you.

Bruce nods his head “Pepper, Rhodey and Happy have taken lead on that, the funeral is next weekend at the Lakehouse” he says.

“who’s invited?” Clink asks.

“all of us, our families, everyone who fought by his side, it's only a small thing, despite his persona it's what he would want” Bruce answers letting out a long sigh.

“How are Pepper and Morgan?” Steve asked his arm moving around your shoulders.

“as okay as they can be given the circumstances, but they’re coping and getting help where they can, they know they’re not alone” Bruce nods.

“good” Steve hums, his fingers drawing circles on your shoulder.

Silence falls in the room. Everyone knew what needed to be discussed next, and what they needed to organise but nobody wanted to start. Trying to delay the inevitable as if it would make it not true.

In the end, Thor was the one to break the silence “what about Natasha? What would she want” he asks.

“just us, Fury and Maria,” Bruce says quietly “at the compound? In the woods where it's not damaged?”

“no” you mutter shaking your head “The Avengers was a home to her, but it wasn’t her home, Ohio was”

Clint’s head snaps up in surprise “you knew about that?” he asks shocked.

You nodded your head “she told me while we were on the run” you say with a weak smile.

“do we know a way to contact her family? Yelena?” Steve asks, making your brows raise in surprise “she told me after the snap, they all disappeared” he explains softly.

“did you know?” Thor asks frowning as he points at Bruce.

“no, no I didn’t know either,” Bruce says a look of shock on his face.

“there’s a small graveyard in the woods near where she grew up, I think she’d want to be there” Clint continues “we might be able to track them down using FRIDAY but they’re all ex-KGB agents, it’s going to be near impossible”

“we still need to try, Nat would want them there, and they’d want to be there,” you say shaking your head gently.

Everyone nods in agreement “I’ll um try and get FRIDAY to find them when I get back, what were their names?” Bruce says clearing his throat as he looked over at Clint.

“Yelena, Melina and Alexei,” Clint says “I know Alexei was in prison for a while so that might help, and hopefully he can find the others”

“Okay, when should we go over to Ohio?” Steve asks “how long do you need to track the others down?” he adds looking over at Bruce.

Bruce shrugs letting out a long sigh “I don’t know, it could take weeks and months, I might not ever find them” he says.

“Okay, shall we agree on in two weeks' time? That should hopefully be enough time for us to have at least an indication of whether we’ll find them” you suggest “it won’t help us if we drag it out, we need the closure” you say shaking your head gently, knowing far too well how healing a funeral can be.

“agreed, I’ll send word to Fury and Maria” Clint nods.

Silence falls in the room once more, a heavy feeling on everyone’s shoulders. You felt Steve tugging you closer to his side as he let out a long and shaky breath. Glancing up at him you silently ask if he was okay, he gives you a small nod as an answer before his smile grows slightly a reminiscent look on his face.

“I can remember when Nat figured out my feelings for you, she was giving me a lecture for trying to keep you out of a fight and then the mischievous look on her face when she realised why,” Steve says with a small chuckle “I’m surprised she didn’t try and meddle”

“oh she did, but you two were far too stubborn for it to work” Clint snorts shaking his head.

“she did say she’d have pushed you off a helicarrier sooner if she knew it would take a near-death experience” you remind him.

Everyone laughs gently “yeah I’ll admit I’m glad she didn’t, especially after she kicked Sitwell off that roof” Steve huffs.

“yeah she was always a tough nut, but always so soft around the kids, she was a completely different person when she visited the farm,” Clint says with a small but warm smile.

“yeah JJ adored her, he always wanted to go visit” Steve smiles “she wasn’t keen on diapers though” he adds making everyone laugh.

The dark cloud that had been hanging over everyone since they arrived was finally disappearing. Everyone’s moods changing from solemn sadness into reminiscent with every story told about Nat. Clint had all of the best from their days before the Avengers, the stories from Budapest. By the time everyone had to go they all had smiles albeit small ones on their faces, and it felt like some healing had been achieved.

“We should probably talk to JJ now” Steve sighs as he shut the front door.

“yeah,” you breathe out “god I hate this” you mutter shaking your head, head in your hands as you quickly sniffle back your tears “sorry, I’m being selfish you’ve already had to do this twice now, I can’t imagine how hard it was” you apologise.

“Hey, hey no stop that, don’t apologise you’re not being selfish,” Steve says quickly wrapping his arms around you, pulling you into his embrace, pressing a kiss to the top of your head “yeah I kinda know what to expect, and what to say but I can remember the first time, I felt physically sick and hated every moment of it and I tried to put it off for as long as possible so I know exactly how you’re feeling and its completely valid”

“but-“ you start looking up at him.

“but nothing, what we’re about to tell JJ is going to be hard for all of us, no matter how experienced or inexperienced we are, because it doesn’t get easier,” Steve says shaking his head.

You swallow nodding your head, quickly wiping away your tears as Steve’s hands run up and down your arms soothingly “do you want a moment before we go up?” he asks softly.

You sniffle back the last of your tears shaking your head “no I’m fine, I’ll um just follow your lead” you say looking up at him.

Steve gives you a reassuring smile, reaching down to take your hand. Together you made your way up the stairs and into your shared bedroom where JJ was lying in the middle of the bed watching Cars 2. Thankfully you’d timed it perfectly as the credits were rolling.

You sat down next to JJ while Steve moved to the opposite side of the bed, sitting down by JJ’s feet.

“is everybody gone?” JJ asks his brows furrowed slightly as he glanced between you and Steve.

“yeah they had to go home, but they all asked us to say goodbye and give you a hug” you reassure him.

“oh okay, I liked seeing Uncle Thor he has fun stories” JJ smiled making you chuckle gently.

“he has embarrassing ones too, but we’ll save those for another day, me and daddy have something we need to tell you first,” you say gently brushing some hair off of his forehead.

JJ frowns slightly as he looks over at Steve “what is it?” he asks with a worried tone to his voice.

“Well,” Steve starts with a heavy sigh “you know me and mommy had some owies because we had to fight a baddie?” Steve asks, JJ nodding his head in understanding “well the Avengers nearly lost that fight, and if we did everyone in the universe would have disappeared, but Uncle Tony stopped that by sacrificing himself, he saved the universe, and is now up in the stars with Auntie Nat” he explains.

“oh” JJ whispered, his shoulders slumping.

“and remember it's okay to be sad about it, we’ll all miss Uncle Tony a lot” Steve reminds JJ gently.

“is Morgan okay?” JJ asks looking up at you before glancing over at Steve.

Despite how awful the situation was you felt pride blooming in your chest. JJ’s compassion and empathy shining through making you so proud of him, that he was putting Morgan’s feelings before his own.

“she’s sad, just like you were when Mommy wasn’t here,” Steve says glancing up at you “but she’s okay, she still has Auntie Pepper, and Uncle Rhodey and Happy to look after her, just like you had me and Roberta” Steve reminds him.

JJ just nods, falling silent as he looks down at his lap. You look over at Steve with a concerned look but he just gives you a reassuring nod. You bite your lip nervously as you look back down at JJ, your hand gently rubbing his back as you waited.

“I don’t wike it” JJ sniffles shaking his head as tears fell down his face.

“We know bean, we know, we don’t like it either” you sigh wrapping your arm around him, letting him cry into your chest.

“I want it to stop” JJ sobs into your chest.

You bite your lips to stop yourself from breaking down, looking over at Steve pleadingly, begging for him to take over.

“We know, and if I could promise that I would but I can’t, it's just how life is sometimes, you can have times where everything is good and you’re happy, and times when things are bad and things get tough and it makes you sad,” Steve says moving so he was sat on the opposite side to JJ “but in those bad moments, like this one right now you have to remember the good things”

“Uncle Tony did a very, very brave thing to make sure everyone was safe, he’d want you to be laughing and playing and having fun” you remind him, rubbing his back soothingly.

“We were all just talking about our favourite memories of Auntie Nat downstairs, I know you have lots of fun memories with Uncle Tony so you just have to remember them and let them make you feel happy again,” Steve says putting his hand on JJ's knee.

“like when he let me and Morgan use his Iron Man gloves?” JJ asks with a sniffle as he looks over at Steve.

Your eyes widen in shock, looking over at Steve who blinked a couple of times in surprise telling you he was none the wiser “um yeah I didn’t know about that but yeah memories like that” steve nods.

“he said it was our little secret,” JJ says his lips tugging upwards.

Steve lets out a small chuckle “that does sound like Uncle Tony” he smiles.

“How you feeling now bean?” you ask rubbing his back.

“sad…” he admits “but less sad”

You smile gently kissing the top of his head “good, now I heard there’s a Cars 3” you say, smiling when JJ’s face lit up.

“yes it's so good! There’s all these new shiny cars and Lightning McQueen gets hurt in a race, everyone tells him he should retire but he doesn’t and he trains and meets Cruz who wants to be a racer just like him, and in the final race he lets her take over and they both win!” JJ explains an excited look on his face.

“hm that reminds me of a certain someone” you smirk over at Steve “it sounds amazing bean, daddy will set it all up while I go get some snacks for all of us” you sat standing up from the bed.

“and for Scout?” JJ asks pointing to Scout who was curled up at the foot of the bed.

“yes, of course, I’ll get some nice treats for scout” you smile,

As you go to turn away your eyes meet Steve’s who mouths an ‘are you okay’ to you. You glance back over at JJ who was back to his usual happy self despite everything, a smile breaking out on your face as you nodded back. everything was going to be okay.

Despite it being a warm sunny day, it felt solemn and grey when you woke this morning, more so than usual. The entire morning as you and Steve got ready for the day you exchanged small comforting smiles but had yet to mutter a word. Even JJ was silent as you helped do up the small black tie, straightening the lapels on his jacket.

“you look so smart Bean” you whisper.

JJ gives you a small smile “you look pretty too mommy” he says quietly.

You smile gently, pressing a kiss to the top of his head as you stood up “c’mon we better go” you say holding out your hand.

His small hand slips into yours and you head down the stairs together “will I be able to play with Morgan today?” JJ asks looking up at you.

“Maybe, but only if she wants to,” you say “she might spend the day with Auntie pepper, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want you there, she just needs some time with her mommy, just let her decide okay? If she wants to talk, you can talk, if she wants to play you can play, if she wants to stay with her mommy then you can stay with me and daddy”

“Okay,” he says as you reach the bottom step, Steve a short distance away by the front door “can I give her a hug?” he asks.

“of course bean, I think Morgan will really appreciate that,” Steve says as he walks over “you guys ready to go?”

“yeah,” you breathe out, nodding your head slightly.

Steve gives you a reassuring smile before leaning in to press a gentle kiss to your cheek “let's go then”

The car ride to the lakehouse was silent, the only noise being the radio which had been turned down low as background noise. You spent a lot of the journey just staring out of the window, until Steve reached over and took your hand, bringing it up to his lips and gently kissing your knuckles.

The three of you were the last to arrive, looking around you couldn’t help but smile gently at all the people who were there. Tony had touched the lives of so many people over the years, and you were proud to be among the group of people that got to call him a friend, or better yet, family.

“hey thank you guys for coming,” Pepper says with a small smile, as she approached holding Morgan’s hand.

“We wouldn’t miss it,” Steve says stepping forward to give her a hug “how are you doing?” he asks.

“Okay, I’m getting there,” Pepper says with a long sigh, she then turns to face you “it's so nice to see you again” she smiles hugging you.

“It's good to see you too Pepper” you smile hugging her tightly, as you pull out of the hug you both look down to see JJ giving Morgan a big hug.

“he’s such a sweet kid” Pepper whispered to you as you looked down at the scene.

“yeah, Morgan is beautiful by the way, she definitely got that from you” you smile over at her.

Pepper blushes bashfully as she shakes her head “I don’t know about that, but she definitely got her attitude from her father” she says with a sad smile.

“it’ll be okay Pepper,” Steve says putting his hand on her shoulder “and please, let us repay the offer you made me a few years back”

Pepper smiles gently nodding her head “I will thank you guys, we’re um- Tony left us all something to watch, I don’t know who’s expected to be there but I thought you Avengers, Happy, Rhodey and Peter? Just in the house when you’re ready” Pepper says.

You smile gently, nodding your head “okay we’ll head on in” you tell her.

She whispers a small thank you as she holds her hand out for Morgan, you and Steve watched her walk back towards the house with Morgan. As she went you opened your mouth to say how you didn’t think you could do what she had to do, raise Morgan alone, before quickly shutting your mouth realising Steve had to. He’d raised JJ all alone for the past 5 years, and done a spectacular job of it. In some sense, you were so proud of your boys, but it also hurt to know they could do it without you.

“you okay?” Steve whispers reaching out to take your hand.

“yeah” you manage to say, nodding your head and forcing a smile “let go we don’t want to keep them waiting”

Steve purses his lips as if trying to hold himself back from saying anything but ultimately doesn’t say anything. He just nods, reaching out to take JJ’s hand with his free one before leading you all towards the house.

Stepping inside, everyone was already there waiting. Happy was sat on the couch with Morgan and Pepper, Rhodey sat in an armchair nearby. Clint, Bruce, Peter and May all stood to the side, and Thor leaned against a wooden beam. As you walked over you reached out to take Thor’s hand, squeezing it gently knowing how much he was probably struggling right now. Thor gave you a grateful smile as he squeezed your hand back. Steve stood beside you, his hands on JJ’s shoulders as he stood in front of the both of you.

You took a deep steadying breath as Happy stood up, gently touching the Iron man helmet on the coffee table. The air was sucked from your lungs as you saw the Hologram of Tony sitting backwards on a chair appear.

You watched as Tony took a deep breath before talking “Everybody wants a happy ending, right? But it doesn’t always roll that way, maybe this time. I’m hoping if you play this back it’s in celebration. I hope families are reunited, I hope we get it back, and something like a normal version of the planet has been restored… if there ever was such a thing. God what a world, universe now. if you told me 10 years ago that we weren’t alone let alone to this extent I mean, I wouldn’t have been surprised but come on, who knew? This epic forces of darkness and light, that have come into play for better or worse that’s the reality Morgan’s gonna have to find a way to grow up in… so I thought I better record a little greeting in the case of an untimely death. On my part. Not that death at any time isn’t untimely, this time travel thing we’re gonna try and pull off tomorrow it’s got me scratching my head about the survivability of it all, that’s the thing. Then again that’s the hero gig, right? Part of the journey is the end. What am I even tripping for?” Tony says standing up from his chair “everything is gonna work out, exactly the way it’s supposed to. I love you 3000” he finishes somehow managing to look directly at Morgan.

You felt Thor squeeze your hand as you let out a shuddering breath. So much had been left unsaid between you and Tony, you had so many things to thank him for, you wanted the air cleared but never got the chance. He’d done so much for you and Steve over the years and you never got the chance to properly thank him for it.

Steve rubbed your back as Pepper and Morgan stood up from the couch, grabbing the wreath of flowers that held Tony’s very fist arc reactor at the centre. You quickly wipe away your tears, slipping your hand into Steve’s as you followed Happy and Rhodey out of the house.

As you stepped outside your breath caught when you saw everyone else lining the path down to the jetty. As you stepped onto the small jetty, Steve wrapped his arm around your waist pulling you gently into his side. JJ stood in front of the both of you, Steve’s hand on his shoulder, while your arm was wrapped around him, hand on his chest.

Everyone was silent as Pepper gently placed the wreath down on the water, watching as it slowly floated out from the dock. Swallowing back your tears you rested your head against Steve’s shoulder, his hand moving up and down your side to comfort you.

“I never got to thank him” you whisper for only Steve to hear.

“he knows” Steve reassures you, kissing the top of your head “he already knows”

Slowly everyone went back towards the house, JJ asked quietly to go with Morgan, while you went to go talk to Thor. Steve knew the both of you had a lot to talk about, things that happened before the snap that you didn’t get a chance to discuss. He watched as you and Thor looked out over the lake together before turning and walking towards Sam and Bucky.

“hey man, how are you?” Sam greets.

“good” Steve hums glancing over his shoulder at you “things are settling down, how about you two?”

“keeping busy, T’Challa told me Phillips and Steve are happy at their new farm,” Bucky says making Steve chuckle gently.

“yeah I don’t think the average New York landlord would allow goats as pets” Steve points out, bucky smile shrugging his shoulders “how is the cleanup going?”

“Good, the stones are secure and ready for whenever Bruce and Hank finish building another quantum tunnel” Sam explains “should be ready in a couple of weeks, for one of us to put all the stones back”

“Good to hear, just let me know if you want any help” Steve offers.

“We’ve got it Steve, you deserve to just rest and enjoy retirement, Sam’s got it all under control,” Bucky says sending Steve a pointed look.

A silent conversation passes between the two men before Steve holds up his hands and concedes “fine, but make sure to stop by at some point” Steve tells them.

“of course, I know you can cook now, but we miss Y/N’s cooking” Sam smirks.

Steve laughs and was about to say something when someone spoke behind him “Captain Rogers” Steve’s jaw clenched as he recognised the voice, he worked to control his anger as he turned around to face secretary Ross.

“I wanted to pass on my condolences, and thanks for saving the universe” Ross starts, but Steve doesn’t say anything, his face as hard as stone “I also wanted to apologise for everything relating to the accords”

“don’t bother” Steve states glaring at the man, Bucky and Sam taking a step closer behind Steve for backup, or to hold Steve back, he wasn’t sure.

“Captain I’m sure you can understand my hands were tied, I had to give the UN what they wanted” Ross reasoned.

“Not the accords, the shit you did to my wife, the torture she endured, that you sanctioned” Steve spat, barely controlling his anger.

Ross’ pale face, paled even further as he swallowed nervously, his mouth opening and shutting like a fish as he floundered for a response.

“you should be rotting in jail for all the human rights violations, you’ve paid your respects now get the fuck out of here before I kill you” Stever warns.

Ross glances at Sam and Bucky behind Steve nervously “don’t look at us, we’ll be the ones pinning you down as he does so” Sam states.

Ross swallows nervously before quickly turning on his heels and walking away. Steve watched him go to make sure he was gone, only turning around when he felt someone’s hand touch his back. He was then the one swallowing nervously as he saw you standing behind him.

“princess-“ Steve muttered, unsure whether you were upset, angry or okay with what he just did.

“thank you Steve” you whispered tears in your eyes.

“princess” Steve repeated, much softer this time, reaching out to pull you into his embrace “I’m sorry you had to see all that, I’m sorry he was here” he mutters pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“Steve, sweetheart it's fine,” you say looking up and cupping his cheek “I’m okay”

Steve sighs shaking his head slightly “he should be made to pay for everything he did to you” he muttered.

“he will, someday he will, but Steve sweetheart it's okay, I haven’t thought about that time for a long while now, I got my closure when the bastard that actually hurt me was thrown in jail,” you tell him softly, you thumb brushing over his cheekbone.

“but-“ Steve says going to argue.

“but nothing Steve” you interrupt “right now I get to live the life I’ve always wanted, I’ve got a beautiful home with you, a gorgeous little boy that I’m so unbelievably proud of, and a mischievous pup that likes to steal my socks,” you say making Steve laugh gently “Ross’ career is ruined, he looks terrible, he’s already being punished”

Steve smiles softly leaning down to capture your lips in his “thank you princess, I don’t know what I do without you” and it was true, he hadn’t realised it until this moment but for the past few years he’d just been coasting, surviving enough for him and JJ to get by, but now he was ready to start living.

“how’s Thor?” Steve then asks as you pull away and tuck yourself into his side.

“Okay, he’s going back to New Asgard but will be back for Nat’s memorial, apparently Valkyrie has some training regime for him,” you say looking over at Thor who was picking at all the food that had been set out “we spoke a lot about Loki, I’m glad they were able to put everything behind them before he died, just wish I’d gotten to see him one last time”

“I know but at least he saw you when he was disguised as Odin” Steve points out making you snort with laughter.

“True, I still can’t believe I didn’t realise it was him” you chuckle shaking your head.

“he did live up to his name, now shall we get some food? I can see JJ and Morgan are helping themselves to cheeseburgers” Steve says nodding over to where Happy was plating up some food for the kids.

“they’re so cute together” you comment with a smile as you watch the two kids.

“yeah, they’re definitely gonna be causing some havoc when they’re older” Steve chuckles.

By the time you got back home that evening, JJ was exhausted, falling asleep in the back of the car. You watched with a warm smile as Steve easily carried him from the car, inside the house and up the stairs to his bedroom. As you shut the front door behind you and hung up your jacket you spotted a letter on the floor.

Picking it up you saw it was addressed to Steve, but what stood out the most was the handwriting. Because it was Tony’s.

“I managed to get him into his PJs but he’s out like a light,” Steve says as he reaches the bottom of the stairs “hey what’s up?” he frowns when he sees you frozen.

“you-you got a letter from Tony” you stutter holding up the envelope so he could see.

Steve’s face falls slightly as he walks over and gently takes the letter from you “do you know what it could be?” you ask looking up at him.

Steve lets out a long sigh “no, but it must be important” he says as he rips open the envelope, pulls out the letter and holds it so you both could read it.

Hey Cap, and hopefully Y/N too.

Since you’re old-fashioned I thought you’d prefer me to write, and I guess this is some sort of response to the letter you sent me all those years ago. If you’re reading this then unfortunately I haven’t made it back, but I hope will still got everyone else back, got Y/N back.

I know you’re probably feeling guilty right now because you convinced me to do this whole time heist, but it's okay. I knew the risks and I was willing to give everything so we could get everyone back because no one deserves to grow up with half the universe missing.

I hope you get to actually enjoy retirement now, get to actually grow old. Which leads me onto what I’m leaving behind for you. A few years ago I set up the Avengers retirement fund, one you now have full access to, if Happy has got everything sorted that is.

It isn’t enough for the rest of your life, so maybe save it for when you do grow old, or for JJ’s college fund and get a job in the meantime. One that actually pays, those classes you do are great but they don’t pay the bills. I’ve already spoken to the curator of the Brooklyn Museum, they want to create a pre-war art gallery and you to be its curator. Think it over, and give him a call.

All I ask in return is to watch out for Pep and Morgan for me. I hate that I have to leave them but I know they have a great support system behind them. So just look after them for me, please.

Give Y/N a hug for me, and tell her I’m sorry for everything that happened. See you in another life Steve.

Tony

Steve wrapped his arm around you, pulling you into his side as you both wiped away your tears.

“you okay?” you asked rubbing Steve’s back.

“Yeah” he managed to choke out, nodding his head “yeah”

“Are you gonna take that job?” you ask him.

“I dunno” Steve admits sniffling back the last of his years “I don’t think I’m the right person for it”

“there’s no one better for it Steve, it's something you’ve always wanted to do, so go do it” you reassure him.

Steve smiles gently kissing the top of your head “thank you princess” he sighs before glancing up “and thank you Tony”

A week later, you dropped Scout around at Roberta’s for her to look after before heading out to a nearby airfield where the jet was waiting to take you all the Ohio. You were all still dressed in black, but the attire was much more casual this time around. You all knew that Nat wouldn’t have wanted a big fuss, she’d want it to be understated and low-key.

Walking through the small graveyard, you came to a stop at the gravestone that bore Nat’s name. Looking around at the small crowd you were sad and disappointed that none of her family were here. You had all tried desperately to track them down but it was proving impossible. You just hoped that someday they got your messages and knew where to find her.

“shall we get started?” Fury asks looking around at everyone.

Clint nods stepping away from Laura and the kids to stand by the gravestone “many of us know that Nat had many different faces and layers, and only a select few ever got to see who she was at her core and I think everyone here today is lucky to say they were one of those people” Clint starts clearing his throat a couple of times “when I first met Nat it wasn’t to become her friend” Clint says glancing over at Fury “but when I saw her I recognised a lot of myself in her, a lost kid, desperately trying to find her way in the world. Poor choices had been made but I could see she was desperate to right those wrongs, so it was one of the rare occasions I disobeyed orders and recruited her instead” Clint continues with a light chuckle “she was the best agent I’ve ever trained and the best friend I’ve ever had, and I hope that now she finally cleared the red in her ledger”

Fury was the next person to go up and talk about Nat, everyone taking it in turns to give their own eulogy. Steve kept his arm around you the entire time, only stopping when it was his turn, his hand slipping into yours, squeezing it as he stepped away.

“For me and Y/N, Nat was the sister we never had. She helped us adjust to this new modern world, taught us things and was there for us when we needed her. Even if she did often roll her eyes at us and make dinosaur jokes. I know for me personally Nat was the person I leant on in the years Y/N was gone, she supported me, even gave me a few kicks up the ass. She was the one who looked after JJ when I was struggling and finally got me to see a therapist” Steve saw smiling to himself softly as he spoke “if it wasn’t for Nat so many things wouldn’t have happened, she was the unknown catalyst for everything, the driving force when others felt too weak to go on, we all have our lives and loved ones back because of her” Steve says looking over at you, your eyes meeting “and I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to repay that debt by living my life the way she always wanted me to”

You held out your hand for him as he walked back over to you, tears in your eyes as he took your hand and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips.

“Daddy?” JJ said quietly, tugging on the sleeve of Steve’s black leather jacket.

“yeah, bean?” Steve asks bending down to be at eye level with him.

“Can I say something?” JJ asks nervously “for Auntie Nat?”

Both yours and Steve’s jaws fell in surprise, Steve glances up at you and around at everyone before looking back at JJ “are you sure bean?” Steve asks, when JJ nods Steve smiled gently holding out his hand “okay, c’mon then”

You watched as JJ slipped his hand into Steve’s following Steve over to the gravestone. JJ paused for a moment looking at the gravestone and reading the words etched in stone before turning with Steve to face everyone.

You could see the nervous look on his face as he looked down at his feet which were anxiously shifting beneath him. His small hands gripped the teddy he’d brought with him as he swallowed.

“Auntie Nat Nat was my favourite” JJ finally said his voice quiet “she was super fun and would let me play with all my favourite toys, and eat all my favourite snacks even when daddy said it was too late” he continues, Steve letting out a quiet chuckle, shaking his head “she gave me the best hugs, and kissed away my owies, and had dinosaur bandaids, and she lived in a super cool place where the walls talked” everyone let out a small laugh which made JJ smile “it would tell us jokes which were really funny” he smiles before his face turned sad again “I don’t want her to be gone, but daddy says she’s in the stars,” JJ says looking up at Steve “and she is with her mommy and daddy, and her friends, so she’s okay and happy”

You had to bite your lip as you listened to your little boy, pride bursting in your heart. He had definitely inherited Steve’s speech-making skills, as you could tell his words hit the mark with everyone here. Smiles on everyone’s faces despite the tears that were falling. Your eyes meet with Steve’s who had also been looking down at JJ with a proud smile, you were so proud of both of them.

“That was beautiful bean, Auntie Nat Nat would have loved that” you smile wiping away your tears.

JJ smiles looking over at you but his face fell slightly when he saw the tears running down your face “don’t cry mommy” he pleaded sadly, quickly running over to you.

You bend down and open your arms out to hug him tightly “it's okay bean, these are happy tears, I promise” you smile kissing the top of his head.

JJ nods before reaching up to wipe away your tears which just made you let out a watery chuckle. You pull him back into your embrace, rubbing his back. Steve walks back over to you, his hand running over the top of JJ’s head soothingly.

You stood back up as Clint and his family moved to set down the flowers they brought. Everyone took their time as they placed the flowers they brought, having their own quiet moment before standing back up. Until only you and Steve remained.

You held onto JJ’s hand as the three of you walked over, Steve first put down the bouquet of flowers, JJ followed placing the teddy he brought one that had been given to him by Nat. You weren’t holding anything, instead, you put your hand to the ground and willed a bed of flowers to grow, the surrounding area was covered in flowers in various colours, they even stretched up into the tree behind.

When you stepped back away and looked back at the gravestone, it no longer seemed like a reminder of loss, but of the life that had been lived in every beautiful and complex colour. You felt a weight had been lifted off of your heart, the grief you felt lessening and evolving into reminiscence and you felt like you had closure. And you promised to live the life she’d sacrificed her life for the way she would have wanted, full of life, laughter and love.

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Series Masterlist / Masterlist

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#NiamhWrites #the demigod from asgard series #Steve Rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x you #captainamerica #captain america x reader #captain america x y/n #captain america x you #marvel #mcu

[ivalice-tifalucis]

Jason.

Suddenly I want to talk about Jason (it's a very long talk).

I realize I never talk about this here, but I often compare him to Queen's John Deacon. There are few similarities. The "silent" one, the underrated one, the one who prefer tea when the others would prefer wine, the one whose lyrics always about life, the dark horse, the one who is not confident with singing, the one who left the band and never be seen again.

The thing about John Deacon is that I never feel sort of bereaved, longing, or sad that he is no longer in Queen. I am a Queen fan since I could barely speak english thanks to my dad and the moment I learn that he left Queen so many years ago I was like that's ok. That's because even though Brian and Roger are the spine of Queen, the heart and soul will always be with Freddie and Freddie died 32 years ago. New fans had their hard time accepting it when they searched for Deacy but they quickly realized time has gone long and he has been living a peaceful private life. It's easy for us to let go of Deacy, because Queen regardless how good Adam Lambert is now, is over the moment Freddie died. There are no what ifs when talking about Deacy leaving Queen and public life. His statement is also clear and undeniable that he left because he thought there should be no more Queen after Freddie.

But the thing about Jason Orange is that he left at the height of Take That fandom. They just had Robbie back and they released Progress and it was very very success album and tour too. Three years later, people expect something but Robbie's not coming back and so did Jason. It feels anticlimactic for fans even though it may not be for him. There are no impromptu. Unlike the rest of the members, Jason doesn't have social media but he also didn't do or say anything leading up to that day in 2014. Take That was perfectly fine ship and suddenly one of their longest standing member at that time jumped the ship without lifeboat that could help him return. He swam to the nearest island and not planning to swim back to the ship ever again. Sure he made a statement through Take That's PR but it's just a thank yous. Something is not told and as fans we left to wonder why did he leave. What had gone wrong in the background??

Toxic fans would often like to think it's because of Robbie because Jason didn't like Rob in the 90s and, while often written off in newer documentaries or autobiographies, was the one who propagated to kick Robbie Williams out of Take That (as stated by the man himself in Look Back, Don't Stare). It's easy to make Robbie Williams a scapegoat, isn't it? However, Jason himself said back in Progress era that Robbie came back to Take That was the final piece of puzzle. Gary in his book A Better Me also said that Jason always wanted Robbie to return and felt like his job is done when he got to see all his boyband friends in the same room again.

However, it still doesn't answer the question to why did he leave? I have a habit of wondering over unimportant things and sometimes, especially now, my mind wonder about Jason and why exactly did he leave. I have some theories, it might not satisfy you but bare with me.

Here's a gif of Jason so you won't get too tired reading this post lol

First theory: tax evasion scandal. I'm not gonna pretend to be a foolish fan and not know that sometimes in 2014, Take That faced a huge backlash thanks to this scandal. Those annoying 40-50 something British guy who love to make this tax evader joke to state they never like Take That to look manly can never escape me every time I go around social media about Take That. Even though it rarely talked about among Thatters, I feel like if they are not known more now than they are a decade ago it's because this scandal still affecting them in the eyes of UK public, who are their major target market. I could also argue if only they make another big break this scandal will be gone from people's mind but sad to say they haven't done anything bigger than Progress even until now, not that I don't like III, Wonderland, and This Life, I do. But me and all of you (roughly 30 people around here) and I'd estimate less than 2 millions most royal Thatters out there who are interested are not enough. Back to the tax scandal, it is a fact that Gary, Mark, and Howard are part of the scandal but not Jason because his finance always managed by his twin brother, so I heard. I wonder whatever went behind the scene could might affect Jason's decision to leave.

Why? Because if it is true that he left because Progress is enough, he could have stated he would be leaving since after Progress or any time between 2012 to early 2014. Why did he have to wait and drag this for too long? Also, I wonder if this is why they are so sensitive about Jason leaving at first. Remember in Robbie's autobiography when they were really angry at Rob for accidentally blurted it that Jason would leave before official statement?

Second theory: anxiety, illness, physical problem or other health problems. I often wonder about this too. Progress era is the ultimate era especially for old school Thatters (lol sorry to the actual ultimate era). Who would have thought that "I'm rich beyond my wildest dream", the greatest britpop star living in private mansion in Beverly Hills with around 10 entourages including his gf, Robbie Williams, could ever reunited with Take That? I can only look this like history book and only recently realized how crazy it is. It happened. In his Netflix documentary, even his management didn't believe this that he'd rather earn so little yet did so much effort for Take That rather than earning another hundreds of millions of dollar doing another solo tour. But it happened, he needed it, the rest of Take That needed it, and we're glad it happened. And then, imagine Never Forget. One of the best Take That song ever, made in 1995 but released when Rob had left, so before 2010 this song had never been performed by Robbie Williams. The moment that all Thatters had been waiting for, to see all five members of Take That perform this song life, without others backing the others, as the original single intended. The only era where they can do this, and it only ever happened once (1). And then Jason...

And then they never did it again. Throughout Progress live tour, Jason didn't sing a single note by solo. His part in Never Forget was covered by Gary. You could even argue that his mic was never on during any of Progress live performances and I would believe you. So much downgrade than The Circus Live where he did an entire section singing two songs with his guitar. What was going on??

Why? He stated few times he was never confident in singing. Even Nigel Martin Smith berating him in the 90s for being the one with the worse singing voice (arguable though because he actually has decent voice). I'm glad Take Two era gave him the confidence to try albeit shyly. However, maybe eventually his anxiety won sometimes between 2012 to 2014. Plus the fact that we know he can't do breakdance forever. He was in his 40s at that time. Even current Take That dance lesser and lesser than they were in previous era. Maybe Jason thought there should not be more dancing in Take That. Maybe he thought his body would no longer able to. Maybe he's not strong as he used to be. He's ill? Idk, only Jason knows.

Third theory: settling down in private. It could be just my headcanon but think about it. We always joke he might as well marry to the bench because he's always photographed alone in his own thoughts. Some people even randomly thinking is he gay? He has that swag though, but I don't think at least he himself think that he's gay(?).

Lol this iconic pic

But what we never talk about is that he did have girlfriends in the past. He has been photographed by paparazzi in the past with "mystery" women (yes women as in plural) which I will not share here. He had a public relationship with Catherine Tate after all.

I genuinely think Jason is the kind who would drop everything to keep his family safe from public. This is after all the same guy who despite the height of his career barely show his family to the public, except his mom probably, but then again all TT moms always have media presence since day 1. Being in kdrama fandom and see korean actors and actresses who literally just dropped their career for their family and their privacy, I can see Jason would do just like that. Why not? He has achieved and experienced everything there is to know about being a celebrity. He doesn't feel the need to. And I feel like his relationship with Catherine Tate, since she also a public figure, was so gobbled down by media that maybe he thought this isn't right to have people judging his partner. If one day Jason appear with a wife and a child, I won't be surprised at all. I would be exploding in happiness that this theory is correct though.

Also I'm happy to see Catherine Tate returns to Doctor Who with David Tennant. I just know then that she actually is known for being in Doctor Who. I had no idea who is she outside being in Happy Now music video 😂

My theory outside Jason leaving:

Take That (and their management) know where and how Jason is (to some extent). In the interviews often Gary, Mark, and Howard would be asked about Jason to which they would say they didn't contact him for ages. Or joke that they tried to email him but then maybe he only have flip phones and doesn't even have a computer to answer the email. Look, he can be a hermit but man living in first world country and doesn't have even a smartphone to answer email in 21st century is ridiculous. I believe they still talk or see each other once in a while, especially with Howard, who tweeted that he met Jason in 2018. Hell, I feel like even Rob has seen Jason at least once between 2014 to now. I don't know, just a hunch.

His privacy is protected by Take That management and also by most of public. Continuation from previous bullet point. Yes. Because do you remember when there was George Michael's art auction in Manchester and some celebrities who came there are photographed clearly. But not Jason. It's hard to find that picture again but I found it and that's just the only the bigfoot sightings of Jason Orange that I know of because it happened after I know Take That deep enough. Between 2014 to 2017, how many sightings that I didn't know? Where if other celeb would have crystal clear pictures taken but not him on the same occasion? I wonder. Also many people claimed that they met Jason in public space in around London or Manchester, but mostly Manchester. So he is not as hermit as they would like you to think. Maybe if you go around there and if you just lucky, you might come across a wild Jason Orange.

Goddammit this guy.

At the end of this post, thank you for reading this until this part, guys. I really miss Jason like all of you. He is truly an enigma but no matter what would always have special place in every Thatters' heart. Awww...I cringe a little when I wrote that.

Regardless my theory, I can only wish he lives a good and happy life. If you have something to say, you can also add here in the reblog or reply, or dm me, let's chat.

Also I put all Jason sightings on my tumblr with this tag called The Bigfoot Sightings of Jason Orange (because he is as blurry as bigfoot sightings).

#jason orange #take that #the bigfoot sightings of jason orange #my ramblings #Youtube #Instagram

[borderlinemediocre]

My Maynard & Trent Manifesto:

I’ve been wanting to put this all together for a while. Basically, in my mind, there’s a hidden love story between these two and it’s complicated and messy and angsty.

First, they met in the mid-90s when Billy Howerdel introduced them at Trent’s New Orleans studio:

They clearly vibed because they’re both so hard working and technical and not afraid to get their hands dirty. Sweet.

They pretty much immediately started making music together, under the name Tapeworm, along with Danny Lohner and Charlie Clouser, and eventually Atticus Ross and Alan Moulder. Although when Maynard talks about the project he only talks about Trent. So that’s a thing.

These Tapeworm pics are from 2002:

They definitely made a lot of music up until 2004 when Trent announced the end of the project. Interestingly that’s also when APC went on a 6 year hiatus. Tapeworm never officially released anything.

Trent says it’s because the music was “mediocre”. He says the whole project was just a distraction to “waste time” because he was afraid to write another NIN record.

Maynard says no one in Tapeworm was “ready” to make music together and that everyone had big egos that “polluted” the project.

So Trent totally abandoned the music they made, but Maynard didn’t. He started to play a Tapeworm track, ���Vacant”, live with APC in 2000. Trent was kind of pissy about it, especially since Maynard was extra ballsy and debuted it while on tour with NIN.

Speaking of that tour, before playing 3 Libras in Phoenix, Maynard said that “2 of the 3 Libras are here tonight. If this song sounds bitter, it’s because it is, and I am.” Like??? He’s so directly calling out Trent here and letting it be known that he’s still angry about not getting to be with him. Also makes me think he debuted Vacant to purposely piss Trent off. And 3 Libras is bitter, and sad:

Maynard eventually released a reworked version of Vacant, called “Passive”, with APC in 2004, right before their hiatus.

He also recorded “Potions” with Puscifer and gave it to Trent as a wedding present in 2009 before releasing it on the Puscifer album that year. Which seems like a sweet gesture until you look at the lyrics:

He chose this song to give to him on his wedding day for… reasons, I’m sure. Wholesome friendship reasons.

Then after Trent had his first kid in 2010, Maynard changed the lyrics to “Passive” during a live set (this is the worst sound quality in the world but you get the point) to “Trent just had a baby/ the doctor tells me/ but I just can’t believe him”. So. Upset that Trent is moving on? Or just him being supportive? Who knows? (We know)

Earlier this year, Maynard did an interview with Rick Beato and mentioned Trent’s influence on his music, while dragging him at the same time:

“Trent on The Fragile; he’s stealing shit all over that album, but I’m stealing from his stolen goods.”

“Weak and Powerless is like a metronome right through your head. Again, stolen from Trent. Shh. Don’t tell him. Don’t watch this, Trent. Prick.”

And having Trent on his mind while he wrote this is certainly a thought:

So clearly, 22 years after he said he was bitter, he still is. But, I think he’s done some moving on as well. He just released a reworked version of “Potions” with Puscifer but with one small yet impactful lyric change- instead of “I want you”, it’s “I don’t want you.”

He’s said that he won’t keep singing songs about things he’s moved past (like the song Prison Sex with Tool, that they haven’t played in over 20 years). So when I saw that he rereleased Potions I was like Ohhhh he’s still not over Trent. But with this lyric change, maybe he is? Maybe he wanted to tie up a loose end that’s been hanging out there. Maybe he gave the new version to Trent beforehand.

I want to end with a quote from Maynard himself: “No one is gayer than I am, but some come dangerously close.”

🫡🙏🏻

#thank you to my friends who have had to hear this in pieces #you’re the true heroes #and to my husband who gave me like half this info #the gay we need #trent reznor #maynard james keenan #nine inch nails #tool band

[declanlikesmusic]

Music is a thing in the music industry and so I would like to talk about music,

Why Plunderphonic Concept Albums Should Be a Bigger Thing, Actually.

Plunderphonics is such a fascinating genre to me. There is so much potential in taking pieces from other peoples' work and using those pieces to orchestrate a new work entirely. Not just that, but taking those pieces and crafting a new story out of them aurally, like a concept album or a sound collage, something of the sort.

When I say that, the first example that comes to people's minds when it comes to sample-based concept albums, it's most likely Everywhere at the End of Time by The Caretaker. If you don't already know, Leyland Kirby produced a monolithic 6-part saga of albums that ran from 2016 to 2019, each part representing a different stage of Alzheimer's disease & dementia and each part taking from super old traditional pop & jazz records and warping them to some degree until the very end where they're no longer intelligible. It's an absolutely staggering work of art and it blew up in the years since its conclusion to stunned reactions.

But to me, there's a lot more do delve into than creating haunting ambient pieces like this. Not to knock The Caretaker at all, I think it's amazing that this even happened, but it's nothing that I would personally want to listen to regularly, unless I wanna feel spooked by putting on Stage 3, but even then, look me in the eye and tell me you would listen to that kind of thing in the background on a casual setting.

Another artist that kind of fails in this regard is also one of the most important & genre-defining plunderphonics acts. Negativland are an infamous band in one of the best ways possible, using sample-based music to create some of the most biting pieces of satire in the late 80s and even 90s. I love it. They still don't have that replayability to me personally, but I still can't think of songs like Christianity is Stupid and Yellow Black & Rectangular from their Escape From Noise album without chucking a laughing fit.

Nowadays, plunderphonics music is so much easier to make than with the technology they had back then, so those albums are still miracles to me. Today, they're almost too easy to make. There are more plunderphonics albums in this past decade and a half than at any other point in history. To mention that, I need to talk about vaporwave again. They didn't start off as super detailed conceptual albums, but the way they have presented themselves over the years, you'd think they were conceptual by default.

Vektroid's pioneering albums in this genre are very potently indicative of the sounds, atmospheres and even worlds that they were not only capturing, but deeply exuding in their mere presence. You listen to Floral Shoppe under her Macintosh Plus alias and you are immediately taken somewhere else. It's completely atmospheric in that there's an ambience to the music that's playing and how they're twisted to warp you into its reality.

I know I've knocked The Caretaker's music for being too ambient, but there's a musicality in the way that Vektroid distorts her samples that still keeps them wildly enjoyable to me. I've especially been tuning into her New Dreams Ltd. project's Initiation Tape: Isle of Avalon Edition a lot recently for this exact reason. I almost so desperately want a visual accompanyment, I want to be in that lonely hotel room in the middle of the night with only this music & my feeling.

I could talk all day & every day about vaporwave albums that capture me and lift me away with their potent atmospheres. Tuning into Vacant Places by Hantasi, which makes me float like a ghost across the halls of its incredibly haunted & dense yet empty shopping centre; or The Path to Lost Eden (ロストエデンへのパス) by Nmesh & telepath テレパシー能力者 whose individual sides take me to two different ends of a journey to a mystical rainforest paradise; or Into the Light by Infinity Frequencies if I ever want to see The Backrooms again.

I also want to add probably vaporwave's biggest leading act right now into the conversation, who were responsible for some of the genre's most enriching & creative concept albums. death's dynamic shroud.wmv is a supergroup who at a point in time were creating conceptual mixtapes non-stop in 2014, my personal favourite being SEAWRLDハートブレーク from their member Tech, but there are a ton of fan favourites across their discography to choose from.

They didn't stop there either. James & Keith put together the group's magnum opus in their essential I'll Try Living Like This the following year and after a while of slowing down, they've since kicked off the NUWRLD Mixtape Club with new albums almost every month, many of which are concept albums of multiple stripes! It's so impressive how much they've been able to put together as a group.

But I'm getting ahead of myself, because over the course of its existence, vaporwave as a genre has also grown to have albums sometimes simply be albums without the need for heavy concepts or even samples to speak of to deliver an atmosphere. But I want to talk about a certain artist who bridges between plunderphonics & vaporwave in ways that I think have loads of potential in unprecedented ways.

If you know me, you know I'm talking about christtt. He's one of the most experimental figures in the vaporwave genre and often the most polarising because of it. His 2016 album no lives matter* takes the simplest components of vaporwave and completely flips them on their head by delivering themes & concepts of death and the afterlife in hell. It's the minimal sample editing and yet potent atmospheres that are common in most vaporwave albums taken to some of their logical extremes.

Along with that, you have his 2018 album deep dark trench, another concept album that delivers in a completely unique way, taking from sound collage to deliver emotions about worldwide tragedies. Not to mention his side-project 아버지 (father2006) and its album reflection, another album about death that is far more ambient, simultaneously dissonant and yet emotionally devastating. These three are among my favourite albums of all time. They are so incredibly captivating, both sonically & conceptually that they make up my most replayed listens ever.

There is so much potential in the music that he's creating that so few people are taking from to create their own concept albums with these approaches to vaporwave & plunderphonics. Especially since the ones that I currently have in mind the most recently are also among the most flawed examples. To bring up christtt again, as much as his best material has some amount of contentious decisions put into them, his lower received material is even more debatable.

His most recent album last year A.D. is probably his most underrated? It combines many of the styles that he's experimented with in a concept album about the rapture. It mostly centers around the lone survivor, but there's also a suite of tracks titled hell that surround those in the afterlife, which caught many people off guard. Even worse is social justice whatever from 2017, what I see as a love letter to the early ages of the internet paired with subtle sombre & bittersweet moments, most other people see as a compilation of chopped together memes & shitposts, understandably so.

But the biggest example to me of the unforeseen potential in music such as this is made not by him but one of his protégés. This year, a friend of mine RAWINTHEVOID put out their most recent concept album NOTINTHEMOOD, which tells the story of love at first sight turned into a sexual yet eventually bitter & spiteful relationship. There are some amazing tracks on this album that I highly recommend you sit through to find for yourself, but in my opinion, it also has some rough patches. I'm proud to say he's certainly found his edge ten albums in, but it needs some sharpening & polishing to say the least.

Conclusion? No. Concussion. 💥🔨

Overall, I hope this post serves as an inspiration for more albums like these to be made. Plunderphonic music these days is so easy to create, but it's also much more difficult to create great plunderphonic music and additionally, great plunderphonic concept albums. I would kill to see so many more albums like these coming out today. With the state of Bandcamp right now and how slowly the vaporwave scene itself has been progressing since 2017, it's easy to not have too much hope, but the potential I see is incredibly boundless and I implore anybody reading this who's interested in making music like this to get creative and go wild. The music world is your plundered oyster.

#music #plunderphonics #sample based music #vaporwave #vaporwave music #experimental music #electronic music #concept album #music recommendation #music opinions #music community #music review #music producer

[sharpestasp]

Music Meme

List five artists that you listen to multiple albums on. Feel free to expound on any of them.

1. Corey Hart - Most of you are likely only aware of "Sunglasses at Night" though some might remember "Never Surrender".

For me, I listen to his first seven albums damn near on repeat for mental and emotional health. A Canadian Singer-Songwriter, honored a few times in the Canadian music industry, Corey Hart is that strange mix of eclectic phrasings, good music, and different point of view that got me through much of the 90s. I'd been aware of him from his second album in real time, so from the 80s, but actually tracking down all of his then-produced albums and staying on top of it was a balm on my mind.

Is he an amazing songwriter? No. But he's comforting to me, and that's what I needed.

~ Oddball fact - when I bought Celine Dion's Let's Talk About Love, I listened to it BEFORE I read the liner notes. And ID'd BOTH songs Corey Hart had written for the album, without even knowing he'd contributed. ("Miles To Go" and "Where is the Love")

2. Queensryche - So when I was a kid, I hung out at a roller rink ran by metal-heads who may or may not have been hippies at some point, and definitely weren't managing any illegal activities. I was actually unnerved the first time I went to a rink that was A) brightly if gaudily lit and B) playing pop music, because MY roller rink was my formative experience. And they introduced me to Queensryche LONG before "Silent Lucidity" put them in the mainstream, and before my fiancé raved about Operation: MINDCRIME to me.

I came into their works on their second full length album, acquired it and the demo album and the first full-length album, and was always happy to see them on Headbanger's Ball. I still listen to over half their discography, and sometimes just put it on repeat. Even with the split in the band, I will listen to the new albums, and sometimes they still light my heart on fire.

~ Oddball fact - I have seen the band play in three different venue styles. My first was in an Arena (The Promised Land Tour), the second was in a House of Blues where I was damn near at the stage (Operation: Mindcrime II Tour), and in a small theater style (American Soldier Tour). I will say they have the range to adapt to their environment.

3. Nickelback - Another Canadian entry! Like most Americans, it was the Silver Side Up album that hooked me. I actually am not overly fond of the albums prior to it, but I have liked most of the ones after. I know people meme-hate on them as being bland or auto-tuned or too commercial, but guess what? I can fucking sing along with them and enjoy the lyrics. The love songs hit me in my guts. The rockboy badass songs make me smile. Even some of the more sexist sounding ones leave me going 'the woman is coming out on top here'. And well, "Never Again" as well as "Lullaby" just own my soul.

~ Oddball fact - My buddy's band back in NC did a lot of covers. R, who was the singer, flat out said he was never going to keep up with "Animal" and that's okay, because the crowd usually took over. And then we all did jaegerbombs to celebrate the hilarity of it. Second fun fact, my buddy usually passed all the extra bombs my way, knowing (back then) I had a higher constitution for them than R did.

4. Enigma - The first three albums. Loop them, put them on softly, and use them to sleep by or calm my ass down. Not really much else to day on this, because these are ones where the human voice is literally just an instrument in the music for me. I don't sing along, even when I can make out the lyrics, because it is most effective as a whole for me.

~ Oddball fact - when I had it on cassette to listen to, I was usually out like a light by the time the first album hit "Callas Went Away".

5. Sarah McLachlan - OH LOOK another Canadian has appeared. I entered into awareness of her with Fumbling Towards Ecstasy, found her previous albums, and check in on her every now and then when I need a vocalist I love. She has a similar handle on lyrics to Corey Hart -- sometimes it seems like those words should not fit to music and yet. I find myself moved to tears on many tracks, and find the resonance of her voice in just right for me.

~ Oddball fact - I think the first time I saw her on television was Macy's Parade, and it was the song she did for Charlotte's Web, long after I'd begun stalking her music.

Feel free to take the idea and run with it. I might find new music from all of your tastes!

#music #corey hart #queensryche #nickelback #enigma #sarah mclachlan #sarah mcdonald #meme

[maxsix]

Favourite KPOP Songs of 2023

So I am 3 days late posting this but I wanted to do it to keep up the tradition. It's fun looking back at old lists. My criteria isn't so much based on technical merit but rather the songs that I wanted to listen to over and over again for whatever reason.

Cupid by Fifty Fifty. No doubt, this is social media's song of the year. I have never seen a song that is actually good become so organically viral, only to be reduced to absolutely nothing because of abysmal management. Not even New Jeans was this widespread this year (to me). Cupid was playing at my local supermarket and even people who know nothing about kpop loved this song. It ranks low for me because I'm definitely sick of hearing it by now. Regardless, it is still a very well written pop song.

Ayo by NCT 127. Okay, hear me out: NCT is like durian. You either completely understand why it is called the King of Fruits or you think I should be put in jail for saying that. If you are a brave connoisseur who refuses to be confined by societal pressure, then know what it's like to open your third eye and consume NCT for what they are: completely weird but never boring. It's an experience. If you don't get it, I don't know what to tell you.

Tinnitus by TXT. Temptation is my least favourite TXT album from the last 3 years but I think that is mostly due to how much I hated Sugar Rush Ride. I've been re-listening to a lot of their material again and okay, I'll give this one a pass: it's a mood. Thanks Kang Taehyun. I don't know if it was very intentional but his voice is all I hear on the final version. Man, that dude's voice always gets me somehow, I don't know how he does it.

Rover by Kai. It's not even that good of a song and yet, it was everywhere and I was gaslit into liking it. The viral dance made it the hit it became but to be fair, much of this was really down to his star power and ability to make really good choices that suit his strengths (dance first, vocals second). This is EXO Kai we are talking about after all; when he delivers, he really delivers. New Gen boys can take some notes.

Drama by Aespa. This is like Asian Junk Food. It's objectively so terrible, full of empty calories, no nutritional value but they took the Terrible and sprinkled MSG on it, so now it's TastyTerrible. As someone who wants to learn film editing, the MV is excellent and an example of top tier editing without choppy cuts. I have not noticed editing this neat and time consuming since Seventeen's 'HOT'.

Back To Me by The Rose. A group with solid talent and well written songs. I wish every success for them to be honest. I am posting the live video because they are one of those groups who are better live and won't give you The Fear watching it. I wish I could've seen them because I genuinely just love their voices and sound. They've filled the void left behind by Day 6.

Hard by Shinee. It's just your typical weird and perfect Shinee pop song but with a distinctly 90s flavour in my opinion. They are just all so talented that it's virtually impossible to ignore them. SM production is always so slick but with Shinee it is something to gild the lily rather than hard carry the entire song and group. Onew vocals never takes a day off, he was flawless even in the raw recordings.

Kitsch by IVE. It's just so cute and comforting in the way a harmless little pop song can be. It's like a fresh breeze. There's no pressure to do anything but enjoy it. In the absence of Blackpink, they are definitely my favourite girl group at the moment.

This World by Ateez. I do actually prefer it to Bouncy because it has that dystopian and almost gothic feel to it. I don't think it would've made a good title track because it's not as explosive as Bouncy but it 100% would fit into a movie or montage sequence. It absolutely goes so hard in the car, especially at night.

Flower by Jisoo. I think this was just a very smart choice for her and her team. It did not have anything too complex or overly dramatic. It suits her elegance and brand perfectly. It was also very pleasant and kinda of prettily boring? The dance was very popular and cute without being obnoxious. She is very much a Great Gowns Beautiful Gowns and "Go on girl, give us nothing!" idol but I have a soft spot for her. I can't believe we live in a world where Jisoo has the best Blackpink solo song.

3D (Alternate Version) by Jungkook. I did not like it when it was released (with that awful rap feature) but the purely Jungkook and performance versions of it really improved everything. I am really happy that Golden is as good as it is, because I think most Jungkook stans from 2013 lived in fear he would only release Mid Tier pop songs. I think most features on the album are unnecessary. Jungkook has presence and star power on his own. Everything else diluted what we all came for.

Blue Blood by IVE. It's an unexpectedly more mature sound from them and I loved it. I think the driving backing track makes this one of the best driving songs. It has this dark eloquence to it, which I always vibe with. One of their best B sides for sure.

Off The Record by IVE. This was the best track off their album this year. That title track was heinous. OTR was so calm and comforting and there is something about it that reminded me of Gfriend and OhMyGirl where it's just a good song with any histrionics. I do not think IVE suit that bad girl crush concept at all. They always had this expensive High Teen aura and it really took at hit with Baddie imo.

Ring (Unplugged/Acoustic Version) by TXT. This isn't cheating, they released this one on a July 2023 album. Even if it was cheating, I would've still put it on here. It's well written, well produced, well paced and suits everyone in the group. But personally, I always saw this as a Kang Taehyun song (even though he didn't even write it). His aura is all over it. Controversial opinion but I think this has one of Yeonjun's best rap verses because the slower tempo works so much better for his voice and flow.

Crazy Form by Ateez. Ah the Male version of Junk Food with MSG. I don't think it's anywhere near their best song but it's a good fun time and after the tough year(s) we have all had, it's nice to jam to something silly. It's very SKZ adjacent but in my opinion, with much better production and editing because the team behind Ateez are better at it. I'm also including this because it made me really see Jeong Yunho. If you know you know.

Roll With Me by Hyungwon/Shownu. Technically The H/S version of Wildfire is my favourite from them this year but since it wasn't official, I'll go with my second favourite release. It once again proves that Hyungwon is my favourite man (musically) in Monsta X. I like his style, tastes and instincts. It's true that he is my overall favourite in MX but I'm mature now! It's not just the visuals, I truly put his musical output as the number 1 reason I like him.

Standing Next To You by Jungkook. Listen, listen, listen.....I have been following this dude since 2013. I always KNEW he could give more and be more. Even though SNTY isn't even 100% of what I think he can do, it was enough for me to feel all these 10 years were not wasted lol. This deserved this stop purely for the instrumentation and production value alone. Granted, it is very westernised but good music is good music. This is the only time where a feature (remix) actually added something.

Silver Light by Ateez. The sister to Cyberpunk. It is really like its title: a sparkling God Ray of light that cuts through the darkness. It's mysterious but also so hopeful and comforting. They just scraped in with this at the last minute but it is already one of my absolutely favourite Ateez songs. Instant love from 1st listen. The type of song I wish I was more conscious and present for so I could go back to experience it again for the first time. Park Seonghwa supremacy because this is now a song I associate with him. He's not even my Ateez bias but he is my favourite and the most important Ateez member to me. How that works, I do not know.

My favourite song of 2023:

Chasing That Feeling by TXT. They achieved the trifecta in 2023 for me: favourite song, favourite lyric, favourite choreography. I'm not even going to link to the official MV because the choreography needs to be seen unobstructed and undiluted. This is the type of song that I barely have any critiques on (and if I did, they would all be minor). The type of song that I would put as my bio. The type of song I want my best friend to play at my funeral. This era was also the one that pushed Choi Soobin into my life when he knew damm well that my heart has been closed for business for the last 12 months. The power this song had on me was all consuming and cannot be overstated, ok?

#favourite songs of the year #top 2023 kpop songs #there are a lot of songs i liked but don't listen to a lot #i don't think any of this is a surprise #i'm a nice friendly pop girl now i promise #ateez #txt #tomorrow x together #exo kai #aespa #nct #5050 #jungkook #ive #monsta x