#I’ve been mainly drawing for art so I kind of only have that

[paracosmicessence]

Hey! I love your art so much 💖 I wanted to ask what program you use for 3D modelling?

aw thank you!! :3

and to answer your question i’m going to warn you this is going to be kinda long because i’m gonna use this post as an excuse to show my 3D models that aren’t awful (sorry lol).

i actually use two different programs, both for different purposes, but you don’t need to get both, it really depends on which kind of modeling you want to do.

1) the first is called Nomad Sculpt on the iPad, you do have to pay for it unfortunately but it’s definitely one of the best modeling apps for the iPad. i know Blender is free but my computer is really old and doesn’t run the program very well, and at this point i’ve already gotten used to nomad sculpt.

anyway tho, i use it for art-related things like the obvious 3D models, but recently i’ve been playing around with just making scenes to use as references for my drawings. they’re not anything impressive, most of the time i actually use it to make little figurines to print and turn into earrings/little friends that sit in my room just for fun.

i’m gonna show this first bc they look cooler once they’re printed and colored (also you can tell i printed mini crowley and aziraphale when my sonadow hyperfixation started bc i never actually painted crowley) (he’s just kinda sitting there oops).

the little red guys are actually my favorite bugs (goliath beetles), i made them about a year ago but i still wear them like every day.

and here’s what they look like in the app, it’s a little intimidating but once you get used to it it’s actually kinda fun just playing around and seeing what you can do.

2) the second program i use is Shapr3D (also for the iPad, but i think they made an update where you can run it on windows/mac). you also have to pay for this as a subscription which sucks, i’m only able to use it since the engineering program i’m in pays for it.

Shapr3D is one of the many CAD software programs out there, but it’s nice bc it’s very beginner friendly and very easy to use. CAD is mainly for architecture/engineering but i honestly think more 3D artists should give it a try. it’s really nice once you get the hang of it and (i’m probably biased bc i’m a student) i honestly prefer it over just normal modeling software because i feel like you can be a lot more creative with it.

right now for my engineering class, our semester final is to design and present something that’s functional, and we can either explain the math behind it or just 3D print it and demonstrate how it works, and i’m making a functional mini model of “the rack” trap from Saw III (i’m not psychotic i swear i’ve just had a Saw hyperfixation for 5 years).

i’m definitely gonna post it when it’s finished just bc i’m already excited with how it’s turning out, but for now here’s a couple at-home projects i’ve done:

(above) i have a bunch of wet liners and i designed a stackable holder thingy with bolts between the shelves and a little cute star screw to fasten it at the top.

(above) i also made a few rotating brush holders at home (bc the ones that actually rotate are like $40 for some reason) by buying a set of small sphere bearings at home depot for like $5 (that’s what those little metal things are inside the third one, i took it apart bc i don’t know how to put a video and a picture in the same post) (just pretend they’re spinning rn).

anyway that’s all!! if you actually read this whole thing i love you so much bc engineering and design is one of my special interests so thanks for letting me tell you about the silly things i’ve made :3

#asks #3d art #3d model #engineering #infodump #special interest #ermmmmm not sure what else to tag #this was just a really long post lol #bugs #good omens #autism creature

[dirty-bear-rick-sanchez]

Alien

Edit to the edit: Now with art from the wonderful @geetimesthree! Thank you so much for this! Please check out the rest of their art as well, it’s amazing!

Edit: copy and pasting from Google Docs fucks up the format so some lines were missing. Please excuse my shitty replacements lol.

This is a Birdrick fic I’ve been sitting on for a while because it got out of my control and I couldn’t figure out what direction I wanted to go with it. It’s set in the early Flesh Curtains days and draws a lot of inspiration from Becky Chambers’ Wayfarers series (which I would 100% recommend). It was originally intended to be a series of moments where Rick and Birdperson realise just how alien the other really is to them (with undertones of Birdrick) but it kind of mutated into something more. However, I’ve been so stuck with what do with it that I haven’t really touched it, so I’ve decided to post what I’ve got so far. There are inklings of a plot/potential future stuff developing but I can’t promise that anything more will come of it so this may end up being a oneshot. Anyway, let’s get on with it!

Summary: Birdperson looks close enough to human that Rick sometimes forgets he’s not only a member of another species, but one from an entirely different evolutionary timeline. Other times, however, the difference is undeniable. ~6.8k words

Warnings: ableism (both internalised and from others, including mentions of forced institutionalisation, mainly towards the end), both Rick and BP having derogatory inner thoughts, eating insects (why is this something that’s been a warning for multiple fics of mine lmao)

Birdperson looks close enough to human that Rick sometimes forgets he’s not only a member of another species, but one from an entirely different evolutionary timeline. Other times, however, the difference is undeniable.

One such time is when he offers to make Birdperson a coffee one morning shortly after the Flesh Curtains move in together.

“H-how do you take it? Milk, sugar?” he asks.

Birdperson looks at Rick in puzzlement. “Milk?” 

“Uh, yeah, you know. It comes from mammary glands?”

“Is that not what mammals feed to their young?”

Rick blinks. “Well, I mean, yeah, originally, but most people have it in their coffee or cereal or, or whatever, even adults.”

Birdperson considers this for a minute. “Might I ask how you acquired human milk so far away from Earth?”

“What? No, this isn’t human milk. I-I don’t have breastmilk in my coffee!”

“So it’s artificial?” Birdperson asks with an air of relief.

“No, it’s real! It’s from shloopy-shlops.”

Birdperson looks vaguely sickened. “You consume the milk of other species?”

“Uh, yeah. You didn’t think it was from a human, did you?”

“Are you not disturbed by this? It must be a big change from what you’re used to on Earth.”

“Nah, this stuff is pretty similar to cows’ milk.”

“Cows?”

“Yeah, they’re-they’re a big herbivorous mammal we have on Earth. We use ‘em for their meat and milk.”

“Even on Earth you eat the mammary fluids of other animals?” Birdperson’s expression of disgust deepens.

“Uh, yeah?”

Birdperson takes a moment to steady himself. “Forgive me. I do not mean to judge your species, but this concept is sickening to me.”

Rick grins. “Now you know how I feel about eating bugs.”

Birdperson smiles, very subtly, but Rick catches it. 

“So, no milk?” Rick asks.

For the first time since meeting Birdperson, Rick hears him actually laugh aloud. It’s more of a sharp exhale than anything else, but it sparks a giddy feeling in his chest all the same.

“No, I think I will go without it for now.”

———————————————————————

Rick sits at home, alone and bored. An hour or so earlier, Squanchy had retired to his room with explicit instructions not to disturb him for the next few hours and Birdperson had left to buy groceries. Birdperson had invited Rick along, but Rick had waved the offer off, not interested in braving the sensory overload of the markets on that particular day. However, he has since started to regret this choice, as Birdperson has been gone for some time, and Rick’s not making the mistake of interrupting Squanchy during his ‘me time’ again. As much as he hates to admit it, Rick struggles with being alone.

He gets up and paces restlessly over to the window. He tells himself he’s not going to sit and wait like a dog, but he can’t stop himself from looking outside anyway. 

Pathetic. he scolds himself. You couldn’t bear to be alone, that’s why you moved in here. You want to tell yourself you’re still out hunting, but really you just can’t cope on your own, can you? I hope they get sick of you and leave, and then you’ll have to get back to actually looking for your daughter’s killer. Have you forgotten about that, you piece of shit? 

His train of thought grinds to a halt as he catches sight of Birdperson approaching the apartment building, paper bags in his arms. Rick jumps at the opportunity to escape his thoughts and rushes out of the apartment and down the stairs.

He opens the front door to see Birdperson fumbling for his keys. The other man looks up in surprise.

“Hey, Pers.” Rick grins, leaning against the doorframe. “I saw you coming, thought you-you might want some help.” he holds his hands out and Birdperson passes him a bag. It’s heavier than he made it look and Rick struggles with it for a second. Birdperson raises an eyebrow - or rather, his equivalent of an eyebrow.

“Can you manage?” he asks.

“Yeah!” Rick insists, trying not to let on how heavy the bag actually is. His brain doesn’t help matters, distracting him with thoughts of how strong Birdperson must be and ideas of what else he could use that strength for.

“If you insist.” Birdperson replies in a tone that shows he’s not convinced. “Thank you.”

The two make their way back up to the apartment, Rick finding himself talking far too much about any inane topic he can think of. Thankfully, Birdperson doesn’t seem to mind.

“By the way, whatever you do, don’t go in Squanchy’s room until you’re sure it’s fine. Trust me.” Rick advises him. Birdperson nods seriously in response, knowing all too well what Rick means.

They tumble into the apartment and Rick dumps the bag on the kitchen table, spilling its contents everywhere. He spots a packet of cookies and tears it open, cramming one into his mouth. Among the groceries, he notices a container of bright-coloured red and orange fruit labelled with an unfamiliar script.

“Hey, Pers, what’re these?” he asks through a mouthful of food.

“It is a fruit from my homeworld. Cubba-sah.”

Rick attempts to repeat the word back to Birdperson, who nods at him and takes one.

“Would you like one? They’re sweet.” he offers.

“Lemme just check real quick.” 

Rick fishes around in a drawer and pulls out a device of his own making to check if the fruit is suitable for human consumption. While more widespread species enjoy the safety of relatively common knowledge when it comes to what alien foods they can and can’t eat, humans are not so lucky. After all, very few of them have ever made it off Earth, and fewer still have met aliens, much less tried their foods. As such, Rick has to take his own measures to work out what is and isn’t safe for him.

He scans the fruit and the screen lights up green with the message ‘No known toxins’. Shrugging, he takes a fruit and pops it into his mouth.

A second later, Rick is aware of nothing except burning. A stinging sensation starts in his tongue and rises throughout his face, setting his skin ablaze as it goes. The pain is vaguely familiar to his unconscious mind and he grabs at the fridge, chugging down milk in hopes of relieving the sensation. 

“Hot.” he gasps. His eyes and nose are streaming, blurring his vision. Through the tears, he can make out Birdperson’s form moving towards him.

“Rick, are you alright? Do you require assistance?” he asks urgently.

Rick shakes his head and takes another swig of the milk, wiping at his eyes.

“No, it’s fine, it’s just… Jesus, why didn’t you tell me it was spicy?”

Birdperson blinks. “I was not aware that you would perceive it as such. Are you entirely sure that you are not having an adverse reaction?”

Rick nods. “Yeah, because this makes it better.” he replies, raising the milk carton. “Fuck, it’s like eating my abuela’s cooking.”

Birdperson suddenly starts. “Ah.”

“What?”

“I… have just remembered something.” he seems uncharacteristically downtrodden. “On my home planet, there is a species of rodent we call sqoo rah lub. They are pests that invade supplies of grain and the like. To deter them, we use an extract of this fruit. It contains a compound that they find unpleasant, but that is harmless and undetectable to us. I believe the term for it in common is ‘capsaicin’.”

Rick chuckles. “Ah, that would explain it. So these,” he gestures to the fruit, “are basically peppers?”

“I am unfamiliar with this term.”

“Hang on.” Rick rummages through the cupboards until he finds a seasoning that’s roughly the alien equivalent of chilli powder. “Try this.”

He sprinkles some on Birdperson’s outstretched fingers. Birdperson raises them to his mouth and flicks out his tongue to lick the powder from them. Rick has to fight to keep his thoughts from wandering off into less appropriate areas. Birdperson smacks his lips.

“It is… very dry.”

“But not spicy? Or hot?”

“No, just a slightly sweet-tasting powder. You mean, to you, this causes pain?”

“Ah, pain’s a strong word. It’s kind of just like… a burn.”

Birdperson still does not look convinced.

“I have seen you use this on your own food before. Why do you own and consume something that causes a burning sensation for you?”

Rick shrugs. “It’s nice. Gives it a kick. A-and hey, like I said, I grew up on Abuela’s cooking, this is nothing in comparison.”

“I am afraid I still do not understand.”

“Oh man, if we ever visit Earth you totally have to try a ghost pepper.”

When Squanchy emerges from his solo session, Rick hounds him to try one of the cubba-sah. Squanchy sniffs it and instantly recoils with an expression that reminds Rick of a domestic cat.

“No way am I squanchin’ that! It smells like that stuff you put on your food!” he exclaims to Rick, backing away.

“I wonder if it is only mammals that experience this as spicy, or whether it is only my people who do not.” Birdperson ponders.

“See, you eating this I can understand because you don’t feel the burn, but him,” Squanchy points at Rick, “I just don’t get! How can you enjoy that pain?”

Rick grins. “It’s not painful, it’s just a nice kick.”

They continue to squabble playfully and, for the first time in a long time, Rick allows himself to relax into the happiness, rather than waiting for it to be snatched away.

——————��————————————————

Living in what can only be described - in rather generous terms - as ‘a shithole’, Rick has long since become accustomed to pests. Slugs, some sort of small rodent, and, most recently, ants have all invaded their apartment and subsequently faded into just another part of the background noise. Therefore, it doesn’t come as a surprise to him to walk into the kitchen one morning to a colony of the insects on the floor.

What does catch him off guard, however, is the sight of Birdperson lying amongst them, wings spread out and lowered so that they’re touching the floor. Rick’s half-asleep brain takes a few moments to clock his bandmate at all, but once it does, it goes into overdrive, thinking his friend has passed out or worse. Before Rick can spiral too far, however, Birdperson tilts his head up to look at Rick.

“Good morning, Rick Sanchez.” he greets, using Rick’s full name in a way that never fails to make Rick melt a little inside.

“Uh… BP? What’re you doing?” Rick asks, his voice still rough with sleep.

“I am getting rid of parasites.” Birdperson responds simply, matter-of-fact as ever.

“…how?”

“It is a natural remedy used on my home planet. A compound produced by these ants helps to kill harmful microorganisms that reside in my feathers.”

“So this is… normal, in your culture?”

“In a sense, yes. Usually, I would use what my people call ‘kubba rub-oo’ - loosely translated, it would mean…” he trails off as he mentally translates the words “...‘feather-cleanse’ - but I have been unable to find anything suitable on this planet. The natural method is slightly old-fashioned, but effective.”

Rick stares blankly for a few seconds before accepting this information. “Cool. You want coffee?”

“Indeed.”

Rick brews coffee for the two of them, serving Birdperson’s with no milk - god knows they’d already been through that fiasco - and two sugars, just as he likes it. Birdperson remains on the floor as they drink their coffee in companionable silence. 

Rick averts his eyes and decides not to comment when he sees Birdperson begin to pick ants from his feathers and pop them into his mouth. In a best case scenario, this could be an effective pest-control solution, but he’d rather not think about it too much. He sets the half-empty coffee mug on the table, unable to stomach the rest.

Birdperson doesn’t see Rick for the next few days, but assumes that the scientist has simply got himself wrapped up in a project. Since the Flesh Curtains are still struggling to book gigs, Rick’s absence doesn’t have a negative impact on the band, and it’s not unusual for Rick to disappear for days at a time, so Birdperson decides not to worry unless the other man doesn’t return soon. 

That evening, Birdperson walks into his room to find a bottle of unidentified deep red liquid and a note on his bedside table. The handwriting is familiar to him from lyric writing sessions and blueprints scattered haphazardly around the apartment. He picks up the note and begins to read.

BP,

I looked some stuff up and the main ingredient of kubba rub-oo is formic acid, with some stabilisers and then scents added in. That’s what this is. I know you like grenaberry so that’s what the scent is. Hope it works.

-R

Birdperson sets down the note and smiles. He picks up the bottle and sees a spray lid, then tilts it to confirm the liquid’s water-like viscosity. Both of these match his expectations, and he trusts his friend’s abilities, so he extends a wing and cautiously gives it a single spritz. The smell is sweet, but with a distinct and familiar sour undercurrent. Satisfied, Birdperson sprays the rest of his wing, then the other, followed by his head-feathers. The liquid feels cool and pleasant on his feathers, and he lets it soak in for a few minutes before padding to the shower to rinse it off.

The steam amplifies the scents and Birdperson’s breath catches for a second as he’s hit with a pang of homesickness. At first, he’s confused at his own emotions - after all, the reason he left his home world in the first place was that he always felt like an outcast there - but quickly finds the feeling replaced with gratitude at Rick’s gesture. His friend has taken the time to listen to him, learn about his culture, and try to recreate part of it as a present for him.

Birdperson spends the rest of the shower bobbing between bittersweet memories and a newfound depth of affection for his bandmate. He flutters his wings to let the water flow through his feathers and wash away the oil. 

Once he switches the water off, he stands with his wings outstretched for a few minutes, letting them dry. While he might use a towel for the rest of his body, feathers are always better to air dry.

As he exits the shower, he catches a glimpse of his outline in the steamed-up mirror and freezes. Something isn’t quite right about his appearance, and he can’t work out what until he shifts his weight slightly and sees a flash of dark pink at the edge of the mirror. Turning to look at his wings in disbelief, he realises Rick’s attempt at kubba rub-oo has dyed them. He wipes the condensation from the mirror to inspect his reflection more closely and finds that his head-feathers have also been discoloured. Being darker, the grenaberry hasn’t quite managed to turn them the same deep pink as his wings, but the colour difference is definitely noticeable. He even thinks his skin might be slightly pinker than usual.

Birdperson wraps a towel around his waist and exits the bathroom in pursuit of the living room, where he can hear Squanchy laughing as Rick protests.

“Oh, man, Rick, didn’t anyone ever tell you ‘don’t squanch too much or it’ll turn your palms red’?” Squanchy guffaws. “What were you even doing?”

“Sh-shut up! It was an experiment!”

As Birdperson rounds the corner, both Rick and Squanchy’s gazes turn to him simultaneously. The three stare at each other in silence for a moment before Squanchy cracks up. He chokes out what Birdperson assumes to be some sort of joke at his expense, but his laughter is so strong it renders his speech unintelligible.

Birdperson looks at Rick, expecting him to also be cackling, only to find the man staring at him intently, his cheeks pink in a way Birdperson doesn’t think has anything to do with the kubba rub-oo. 

“Rick Sanchez?” he asks, and this seems to snap Rick out of his reverie.

“O-oh, hey, Pers.” Rick chuckles guiltily. “I see you found my… present.”

Birdperson nods. “Indeed.”

Rick raises his hands up as if in surrender, showing their red staining. “Sorry. I, uh, I guess I didn’t realise grenaberry would stain.”

“Rick Sanchez, you went out of your way to learn about and recreate something from my homeworld on my behalf. This was extremely kind of you.” he ignores Rick pretending to vomit at this and places a hand on his shoulder. “Thank you.”

Rick freezes and looks away, his cheeks once again pink. “I-it was nothing. I couldn’t let you roll around on the floor with the ants, could I? A-anyway, I fucked it up.”

“I am very grateful.”

Rick mumbles something inaudible in response, still not making eye contact.

The three sit in each other’s company for a while, Squanchy chiming in regularly with yet another joke until eventually all of them are laughing about it.

After a while, Birdperson realises he should probably get dressed and excuses himself to his room. As he walks away, he hears Squanchy make a final comment to Rick that he doesn’t understand.

“Dude, you’ve got it bad.”

As it turns out, the staining on Birdperson’s wings lasts for quite a while. So long, in fact, that the Flesh Curtains have somehow managed to get themselves a gig before it starts to show any sign of fading.

“Man, Pers, at this rate you’re gonna be like that on the stage.” Rick teases him a few days before the show, lightly hitting Birdperson’s arm with the back of his hand. Birdperson has noticed a marked increase in Rick’s physical affection towards him lately.

“Don’t worry, I hear some people find it really hot!” Squanchy bursts out and Rick scowls at him. Birdperson is mildly confused by the interaction but brushes it off as Squanchy teasing him.

“Perhaps we should match.” Birdperson suggests, only half-joking.

“What, you think I should dye my hair?” Rick asks.

“I think it would suit you.”

Birdperson reaches out and fingers a lock of Rick’s hair, attempting to return the physical affection. Rick’s face turns red, as he’s seen it do before. Although blushing is a behaviour that’s present in his own species, he doesn’t want to assume that it means the same thing in humans, or indeed that it’s the same phenomenon at all. However, he can tell that Rick is embarrassed by it, so he enjoys trying to fluster him. Birdperson wouldn’t want to genuinely upset Rick, but he takes pleasure in teasing his friends, just as they do to each other. This sort of behaviour is not present in his culture, at least not as a means of expressing affection, but Birdperson finds that he likes it. Even though his homesickness seems to be returning more and more often these days, he finds himself continuously discovering new things that make him decide leaving was worth it. 

Rick agrees to dye his hair surprisingly readily, although no amount of cajoling can convince Squanchy to colour even a small part of his fur, insisting that it’s the key to attracting partners. He pops an unidentified pill and situates himself on the sofa in front of some sort of porn while Rick and Birdperson retire to the bathroom.

Since his initial attempt at kubba rub-oo, Rick has made another sample, this time using a flower he claims to be remarkably similar to the vanilla orchid of Earth for scent instead. Although Birdperson has begun using this one, he has kept hold of the original as well, and he brings it out now in lieu of hair dye.

“Rick Sanchez, before we begin, are you certain that this is not harmful to your species?”

“Yeah, BP, it’s fine, trust me.”

Rick pulls his shirt off over his head and Birdperson finds himself regarding his friend’s bare chest with interest. He’s used to the hair on Rick’s head, since it’s similar to his own feathers, and used to the fur covering the whole of Squanchy’s body, but he always forgets that humans have hair on other parts of their bodies as well. Similarly, he finds nipples extremely intriguing - while he appears to have them, they’re actually little more than markings on his chest, some sort of evolutionary leftover, giving him an illusion of humanity. The idea of these markings being something more - something with a function, something that’s an erogenous zone - excites him in a way he’s not sure he wants to admit to, even to himself.

Rick leans his head forward over the sink and Birdperson sprays the liquid into his hair, admiring the way the deep red drops of liquid stand out against light blue strands.

“How long d’you think I should leave this in for?” Rick asks, his voice slightly reverberating as he speaks into the sink.

“I only left it for a few minutes. I am not sure if that will be sufficient for you or not.”

The floor of the shower is still stained red, and Birdperson wonders if they should’ve done this in there instead of giving the landlord something else to charge them for when they move out, but the sink is easier, and it’s too late to change their plans now.

After a few minutes, the two decide they’ve waited long enough and Birdperson switches on the tap, cupping his hands and pouring the water over Rick’s head to help him rinse the oil from his hair.

“Shampoo.” he hears Rick mumble from underneath his mass of wet hair, and passes the bottle into Rick’s outstretched hand. Mammals, he’s found, can generally all use the same sort of product to clean their hair, although when he tried it on a small area of his own feathers, it didn’t wash out properly, leaving clumps. 

Rick lathers his head and Birdperson waits for him to finish before helping him wash it out. They repeat the process until the water running from Rick’s hair is clear.

Rick straightens up and flicks his hair back out of his face, before shaking his head and getting water everywhere, including on Birdperson. He grins at Birdperson cheekily, and Birdperson can’t help but find it charming. He passes Rick the towel quickly, hoping that the human won’t see his smile. He’s found that, although most species seem to struggle to read his emotions, Rick is unnervingly good at it, which Birdperson finds relieving and irritating in equal measure.

Rick roughly towels his hair dry, then flicks it out of his eyes so he can look at it in the mirror. It’s turned out more purple than pink, with some darker reddish streaks in places, but Rick grins anyway and Birdperson feels warmth rise in his stomach.

“I was right.” Birdperson murmurs.

“About what?” Rick asks.

“It does suit you.”

Rick’s face reddens once again and he fumbles with the towel, bringing it back up to his face in order to dry his hair. Birdperson frowns.

“Forgive me, Rick Sanchez, have I made you uncomfortable? I did not intend to.”

Rick freezes with the towel in front of his face for a few seconds before slowly lowering it.

“No, Pers, i-it’s fine. D-don’t worry about it.” Rick doesn’t seem to be telling the truth, but Birdperson doesn’t want to pry and risk making things worse. He stretches a wing out and holds it next to Rick’s head to compare the shades.

“We match now.” he says simply, and Rick grins at him. Birdperson feels his body relax as most of the tension rushes out, although a lingering worry remains. He never fit in on his home planet, didn’t understand social norms or have any friends there. While befriending aliens gives him a fair amount of leeway when it comes to social mishaps, he still feels the familiar fear of rejection sitting uncomfortably in the pit of his stomach. Rick and Squanchy are the closest friends he’s ever had, and while Squanchy is fairly straightforward and easygoing, he’s all too aware of Rick’s mercurial nature, as well as the suffering that comes with being his enemy.

Besides, Birdperson feels an unusual attachment to Rick, in a way that’s markedly different to his friendship with Squanchy. Part of him knows exactly what it is, but he’s not quite ready to put a name to the feeling. His culture regards naming as a form of cage and, while he might agree with Rick’s perspective on that particular idea for the most part, he’s all too aware of the tendency labelling things has to make them far too real. Names are powerful things, and giving one to this feeling will tie him down in a way that he’s not prepared to commit to yet.

On the morning of the gig, Birdperson walks into the kitchen and is hit by an overwhelming chemical smell. His first thought is that there’s some sort of gas leak, either in their building or nearby. When he sees Rick sitting calmly at the table, he tries to still his panicked thoughts. Rick turns around to face him with a grin.

“Hey Pers! What do you think?” Rick stretches out a hand for Birdperson to inspect. His claws - nails, Birdperson corrects himself - are black and shiny, and he can see a bottle containing a liquid of similar appearance on the table.

“What is this?” Birdperson asks.

“Nail polish. You-you never heard of it?”

“My species does not have nails.” 

Rick rolls his eyes in mock exasperation. “You don’t paint your claws? Or-or talons, or whatever?”

Birdperson shakes his head. “No. What is the purpose?”

“It’s like makeup. Or like dyeing your hair.” he gestures to his hair and Birdperson’s wings.

“A form of self-expression?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

Birdperson sits at the table and picks up the bottle, inspecting it.

“You wanna do the other hand?” Rick holds out his left hand, and Birdperson sees that the nails there are still plain.

“I… do not know how.”

“It’s easy! Just grab the brush and smear some on.” Rick pulls the cap off to reveal a brush, then hands it to Birdperson and stretches his hand out again. Hesitantly, Birdperson takes Rick’s hand in his own. He’s not sure if this is acceptable and glances up at Rick’s face to check. The other man is blushing faintly, but looks expectant. Birdperson adjusts his grip so that he’s only holding one of Rick’s fingers and begins daubing nail polish onto the nail. He’s not sure how much is required, so he puts on one coat and then looks over at Rick’s other hand to see if the two are close enough.

“Is… this acceptable?” he asks.

“Yeah! It’s great!”

Birdperson feels reassured and paints the remaining nails, starting to relax into the simple domesticity of the moment and the exciting yet grounding feeling of touch. Once he’s done, he pulls back uncertainly.

“What now?” he asks.

“Now, we wait for it to dry.”

Birdperson gets up and washes his hands, just to be safe. After all, this is an unfamiliar substance, and he doesn’t want to take any unnecessary risks. Once they’re dry, he opens the fridge and pulls out a tub of grenaberries, holding them up to Rick and finding himself rewarded with a laugh.

As he sits down and begins eating, Rick leans back his head and opens his mouth. Birdperson stares for a second and then smirks.

“Are you a youngling?” he teases.

“Come on, Pers, I can’t eat when my nails are still wet. Feed me!”

“My people feed our young by regurgitating partially-digested food into their mouths. Is that what you wish for me to do?”

Rick kicks him playfully under the table. Birdperson takes a berry and holds it out just in front of Rick’s mouth in jest. Rick responds by leaning forwards and wrapping his lips around Birdperson’s fingers to eat the berry, pulling back with a shit-eating grin on his face as he chews. For once, Birdperson is the one who’s flustered. Now he understands how he must make Rick feel with his teasing.

“You are a cub rah bah, Rick Sanchez.” he admonishes. He’s fairly sure Rick doesn’t know what that means, but the other man cackles anyway, making Birdperson’s heart flutter in his chest.

Once again, Rick holds his mouth open expectantly and Birdperson feeds him another berry, then eats one himself. They continue in this manner for a while, until Birdperson is sure that the substance on Rick’s nails must have dried by now, but he finds himself putting another berry into Rick’s mouth regardless. 

The gig goes reasonably well - for them, anyway - and they’re in high spirits as they walk backstage. Squanchy almost immediately makes off in search of a woman he claims to have been ‘giving him the look’ for the duration of the show, leaving Rick and Birdperson alone together.

Rick begins his typical excited post-gig breakdown, listing their successes and complimenting Birdperson’s performance while his hands bounce in front of his chest and his fingers dance. Birdperson suspects that this might not be a behaviour that’s typical for humans based on the way he’s seen Rick react when he catches himself doing it, with the kind of shame that only comes from having an intrinsic part of yourself suppressed. Birdperson, always an outcast on his home planet, understands this feeling intensely, and so tries not to draw attention to Rick’s behaviour, even though he finds it adorable.  

“A-and, you know, we looked great while we were doing it!” Rick concludes in that half-joking, half-cocky way of his, indicating their dyed hair and feathers.

High on post-performance euphoria, Birdperson is filled with an uncharacteristic boldness and steps forward into Rick’s personal space, gently taking a lock of hair between his fingers.

“Yes, you did.”

Rick’s face turns redder than Birdperson has ever seen. Birdperson revels in the feeling of soft hair and their closeness to each other. He can see Rick staring at his lips and, without even meaning to, finds himself leaning in.

Apparently Rick feels the same way because the next minute they’re kissing, Rick’s lips surprisingly soft against his. Birdperson can taste the bitterness of the beer Rick had drunk before the show, smell the lingering hint of grenaberry on his hair.

When they pull back, both of them are breathing heavily. Birdperson is overwhelmed by a mixture of excitement and nervousness. Judging by Rick’s face, he appears to be experiencing a similar set of emotions.

“Rick.” Birdperson begins, but before he can put his thoughts into words, he’s interrupted by the sudden appearance of a stranger. 

They both jolt backwards from each other, caught in the act. Fortunately, the stranger doesn’t seem to notice. Xe’s a member of the predominant species on this planet, a scaly six-legged reptile, with a hard grey shell-like structure on xyr back, coming up to just below Birdperson’s waist.

“Hey, I’m Taub, best agent this side of Messier 31. I’ve got clients touring across all six major systems in this quadrant, and I think you guys showed some real promise tonight. If you sign with me, I’ll get you gigs all across the galaxy. So, how about it? You boys looking for an agent?”

Rick and Birdperson glance at each other conspiratorially, their kiss forgotten.

With Taub, the Flesh Curtains finally have a steady set of gigs for the first time in their existence. More than that, they have an actual tour. Taub has just sent across the list of locations and all three band members are sitting around the table, poring over it with interest.

“Oh, man, just listen to some of these places. Alpha-Betrium, Venzenulon-9, not to mention all of our home planets!” Rick exclaims. 

“You know, I wasn’t too sure about Taub at first, but xe’s really out-squanched xyrself with this.” Squanchy comments.

“And that’s not all! Check it out, boys!” Rick tears open a package to reveal black fabric. “T-shirts, motherfuckers!”

“Ooh yeah, gimme!” Squanchy reaches for it excitedly, checking out the illustration of the three of them on the front, then the list of tour locations on the back. 

While their drummer is preoccupied, Rick turns to Birdperson.

“Whaddya think, Pers. P-pretty cool, right?” he asks, and Birdperson can detect a hint of nervousness in his smile. Things have been slightly awkward between the two of them since their kiss, but they’ve been busy with the band now that things are moving forward, meaning that neither of them have brought it up. Birdperson wants to, but he keeps worrying that he’s reading too much into things or misinterpreting yet another cultural difference.

“Extremely cool.” he replies, placing his hand on Rick’s in what he hopes is a reassuring way. The other man blushes and pulls his hand back, and Birdperson is more confused than ever. He opens his mouth to apologise but Rick catches his eye and gives a subtle shake of his head.

“Don’t.” he mouths, his eyes flicking to Squanchy, who’s still distracted by the shirt, rubbing it against his face with an orgasmic expression. Birdperson doesn’t understand the situation, but the instructions are clear enough, so he drops it, not wanting to make things worse.

Rick paces up and down the floor of their rented tour ship, trying and failing to avoid thinking about a number of things. 

Firstly, things have been awkward between him and Birdperson ever since they kissed backstage, and while he knows he’s not helping matters, he can’t bring himself to say anything to Birdperson and risk having his heart broken or making things even more awkward, especially not while they’re on their way to their first gig of the tour, on his own home planet no less.

That brings him to the second issue. He hasn’t been back to Earth since before he met Birdperson and Squanchy, and he can’t deny the anxiety that sparks in the pit of his stomach at the thought of returning, despite knowing that their performance won’t bring them anywhere near his house. Rick’s hands alternately flap and curl into fists at his sides in response, and right there is his third issue.

He’s known his entire life that he’s not like most other people, and not just in the sense that he’s smarter than them. More specifically, he’s not like other humans, a fact that neither his parents nor his classmates had ever let him forget growing up. In response, he had used his incredible intellect and pattern-recognition skills to learn how to fit in around others. It had worked so well that he had adopted the mask almost full-time, only dropping it around a very select few people, all of whom are now dead. 

However, since most aliens have never met a human, let alone have any idea of how they’re supposed to behave, he’s fallen out of the habit of hiding his oddities lately. He’s had enough interspecies culture shock just with the other members of the Flesh Curtains, let alone aliens who are gobsmacked by behaviours such as blinking and laughing, that he’s long since decided to just do whatever the fuck he wants. However, it turns out that, like a too-tight shoe, once you take the mask off, it’s very hard to put back on. Although he’s not planning on spending too much time around other humans, he’s still nervous at the thought of being very openly weird in front of them. 

“Rick?” a voice from behind him breaks his spiral of anxiety and he snaps his hands guiltily to his sides as he turns to face Birdperson. Birdperson only recently seems to have realised he doesn’t need to use Rick’s full name every time, and Rick finds it almost unbearably intimate.

“Are you alright?” Birdperson asks.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine!” Rick knows instantly that Birdperson doesn’t believe him. While with anyone else he would double down on the lie, something about this man in particular manages to break through his defences. “Pers? C-can I… tell you something?”

“Of course.”

“I, um… I’m not like other humans. There’s, there’s something… wrong with me. I don’t know what it is, but I could get by, especially once I left Earth and nobody knew if I was acting normal for a human or not, but you’re about to meet other humans for the first time and…” Rick trails off, not sure if he’s trying to hold back from admitting too much or building himself up to say it. Either way, the truth slips out. “I’m worried about what you’ll think of me once you realise how weird I am.”

Rick keeps his eyes fixed on the ground, fighting tears he wasn’t expecting. This is something he’s never told another person except Diane, and he wasn’t prepared for the emotions it’s stirring up.

“Rick.” Birdperson places a hand on his shoulder. “On my planet, I am also, as you might say, a weirdo. Until I met Squanchy, I had never had a friend. He told me there is a word for it in common, ‘autistic’.”

At first, Rick had found himself feeling relieved and connected to Birdperson, but hearing that final word makes something in him snap.

“I’m not fucking autistic.” he hears himself growl, his heart pounding in fear as he thinks of a cousin he had been told his whole life had died as a baby until one fateful argument with his dad had revealed that she had been sent away to an asylum for ‘the severely disturbed’, the place his dad had told Rick he should’ve been sent to. Rick feels a hot, sick rage bubbling up his throat, his body trembling with adrenaline.

“Rick.” Birdperson’s calm and concerned voice snaps him back to reality. 

“I’m not autistic.” Rick repeats, his voice shaking.

“Forgive me. I do not know what this means on Earth. I had not heard of this word until I left my planet. I merely wished to reassure you that I will not think you weird, no matter how different you are to other humans.”

A sob forces its way from Rick’s mouth, and he can’t believe he’s crying in front of Birdperson, but he can’t help himself. He feels Birdperson wrap his arms around him and clings to him tightly, sobbing against the other man’s bare chest. 

“It is OK, Rick. I am here. I will not leave.” Birdperson reassures him.

Rick fights to calm himself and steady his breathing. Eventually, he manages to stop crying, quickly wiping tears and snot from his face. He can’t bring himself to look at Birdperson.

“Come.” Birdperson instructs, gently but firmly, guiding Rick with an arm around his shoulders. Rick allows himself to be led to a bed, wrapping the blankets around his entire body like a cocoon. 

“Rick… I am sorry that I have upset you. It was not my intention.”

Rick sniffles and shakes his head. “I-it’s not your fault, Pers.” he mumbles. “It just… that word brought up some bad memories for me, that’s all.”

He feels Birdperson rest a hand on his arm and continues. “On Earth, people like me - like us - if people find out that’s what we are, they… they get sent away.”

“Sent away… from Earth?”

“No, just to another place on Earth. A… a bad place. If I hadn’t been smart, that’s where they would’ve sent me, too.”

“Are you in danger of this if we return to Earth?” Birdperson asks in concern.

Rick shakes his head. “No, it’s fine. They wouldn’t do that to me now. They couldn’t, even if they tried. But it happened to… to my cousin. I didn’t find out until I was older. My dad told me about it. He said it’s what should’ve happened to me.” 

Rick feels Birdperson squeeze his arm.

“My father was not supportive of me being different, either. I always felt as if I had to prove myself to him, but he was never happy with me, no matter what I did. I knew I was a source of shame to him.”

Rick lets out a humourless laugh and leans to rest his head against Birdperson’s shoulder. “Sounds like we both had shitty dads.”

“Indeed.” 

Birdperson wraps both an arm and a wing around Rick and rests his chin on Rick’s head. Even through his distress, Rick feels a rush of warmth in his abdomen at the gesture. 

“Do not worry, Rick. Even if anybody tried to harm you, I would not let them.”

Rick’s never felt so protected, and that’s the moment when he knows that his feelings for Birdperson are far beyond just a simple crush. He swears to himself that he won’t lose Birdperson, even if it means they’ll never be more than friends. Now, more so than ever, he resolves not to bring up the kiss in fear that it might jeopardise their relationship.

#rick and morty #rick and morty fanfic #rnm #rnm fanfic #birdrick #rick sanchez #birdperson #squanchy #flesh curtains #flesh curtains rick #the flesh curtains #autistic rick #autistic rick sanchez #autistic birdperson #my writing #my fic #side note if anyone wants to know more about the wayfarers series or the specific bird facts/behaviours i referenced in this fic please lmk #i would love to infodump lol #sorry didn’t realise the format fucked up #also disclaimer that i know there are plenty of cultures where it’s normal to eat bugs #this is just what i thought rick’s view would be #also this is very influenced by the comics (specifically rnm presents: the flesh curtains and rnm presents: birdperson) #like bp being an outcast on his homeworld

[mothask]

Update

I’m going on a hiatus and I’m not sure for how long but I expect to be back during the end of January and the start of February.

That’s the short of it but if you’d like to understand what’s been up with me then please read ahead but if not, I hope you all have a wonderful new year.

Right before Christmas I think last Wednesday after drawing the right side of my brain and body went fuzzy, I thought I was about to have a stroke but turns out right after that I managed to somehow get vertigo.

 Due to a lot that’s been happening recently and the fact that I am a very giving person apparently, I’m going through a major burnout at the moment as well as trying to rest off the pains I get in my head when I lie down. 

What sucks the most is that I can’t bend my head down at a certain position for too long before I get dizzy again or god forbid another passing out scare, so I haven’t been able to draw.

I’ve been on the train to burnout for a while now and I hate that it came right during the holidays but in a weird sense I’m glad I got it now rather than when I go back to school at the end of january. 

I don’t know when I’ll start drawing again or continuing with the ask. I feel like I haven’t made it a long way but with the past shadow banning and the discouraging feeling that I feel like I’m going nowhere with my art and in my current life I guess this kind of thing was bound to happen at some point. 

The truth is since this last summer I had to start completely from scratch and if I hadn’t I’d be at 400 followers and that hurts.

But I’m mad because there’s so much more I wanted to tell and draw and sitting in bed without being able to draw is driving me insane.

But for the time being I wanted to let you all know what’s been up, this has been an issue of mine for a long time and it finally caught up to me. It’s insane that I look over the master list *In of which I haven’t updated* To see the sheer amount of content I’ve managed to pump out in the year that I’ve been making this au. I’ve made over 145 post and that was just an estimate I counted in august.

 Yet with things like the recent curse arc, and just my art in general it seems I’ve dropped the ball which is mainly due to college and other factors but being the person that I am I feel disappointed in myself.

As of this last year I’ve had more than 2 scares with my health and I race to pump as much out as I can and to move up in my life as quickly as I can before it’s all over.

But I guess you can only do that for so long until your body says enough.

So thank you all for keeping up with me, and I promise once things get back to normal and I actually know what I got ill with I’m sure I’ll be back to things. 

I hope you all have a happy new year I can’t wait to see what comes next but for now I’m going to sleep.

[rozieramati]

hi i don’t really have anything specific to say but i wanted to let you know i really truly appreciate you and your music, as an artist myself (visual mainly- like drawings, painting and sculpture though i dabble in a plethora of art forms including music, and writing) and a young woman coming into my being as a soon to be young adult and as someone whom feels so deeply, your music has effected me incredibly, it has brought me genuine joy from somewhere far within my inner child and core self. I dance to your music, sing to it, and also listen to it intently, searching for meaning though it is not hard to find in the many beautiful word so carefully chosen by you so expertly. I have cried to your music, it is something still so unfathomably beautiful to me and i may have only found you recently, but even the ways in which you choose to share ur music and yourself on the internet is so special and very honest to the world and people who love you and your music. it has gotten me through some of the hardest times i’ve ever experienced in my young life as of late, and it brings a wondrous warmth and admiration for you and your work.

i wanted to close this with a thought and prospective i thought you might enjoy, i think you music looks like those large beautiful collections of small birds flying in smooth motions & waves bending with itch wind almost as a visual representation of the wind itself, i think it is one of the most unique and almost holy experiences to see this natural movement that is backed by the strength of the birds community, and mutual respect and understanding of each other’s love for life, i think this is what your music has instilled in me.

signed, with care & hope for love, luck, sweetness, and the best of life and happiness for you and all of your future.

Waverly Claire

p.s. ~ this is all coming from a 15 almost 16 year old (my birthday is on february 26, coming soon), & i just wanted to share my care for another artist, from one in the making. & even if you are not interested i would love to share my art with you so you can find me if the interest suits your fancy @quaking_aspen_art on instagram it is a public account so only if you would like but it would make me overjoyed if you would consider it! once again sending thanks for your inspiration to my art and others in the world including some friends i have shared you with (who love you btw). ok that is all for know! 💋🌷💞🪆

dear waverly claire,

happy early birthday :)) thank you so much for your kind words. it’s messages like these that really give me the courage to keep going. especially online. it’s been really hard finding a balance with the social media / artist aspect of things. it’s hard to tell if it’s worth all the work but you’ve made me feel very seen with this letter. it’s almost as if you’ve reached into my psyche through the art and thus all the work has become worth it.

it’s funny you say that about birds, air, water etc. those are all motifs on my album. i do call you guys my love doves. that happened on accident bc someone called me a “sweet dove” once and it filled my heart with so much warmth that i wanted to send it back to the world tenfold.

i think i love birds and flying and air bc i was always really attentive to blue birds as a child. i grew up right next to an airport too so airplanes flying are practically the soundtrack to my childhood. not to mention, my fave ghibli film is castle in the sky- which is about flying.

i think maybe i’m just making music so we can all pretend to fly.

community is so important to me. i wish i had more words to relay how lovely your message is and how much i appreciate it. all the best of love and creative spark to you and your endeavors!!!

love,

rozie

[catchthattherian]

Answering my own questions!

So I made this post awhile ago and only a few people participated and asked me things and since i love letting my moots get to know me and I found those questions fun, I decided to answer them myself! ^^ /all pos (Ty to those who gave me asks, absolutely no hate/negativity to those who didnt!! /gen) Go check out the original post for the questions I will be answering in THIS post :3

•Therianthropy based in questions: 🥥= Ok, since the answer to this question could go on FOREVER (and I’ve made post about childhood experiences before) I’ll just share one that I haven’t had a post / post idea to fit it in! I used to make tiny, dark, and cozy little dens in my living room or room literally all the time. It would be something simple w/ blankets and pillows but it was SO nice!

🐚= I like this question! My first theriotype I had mistaken was a Lunar Moth! The others were cougar, cheetah, Australian shepherd and Harpy Eagle! (I hadn’t really confirmed Harpy Eagle but I so frickin’ close to confirming it I just considered it a theriotype)

🌴=I awakened Oct. 2nd, 2023, On my friend’s bday :3 Not really sure how to explain HOW I awakened, so might be a story for another time

🪸=The first theriotypes I confirmed were Gray Wolf, Calico cat and Coyote! 🫧= already answered! see it here

🌊= If I could physically like shapeshift into one theriotype forever it’d probably be a cat or one of my wolf theriotypes! This is a hard one to answer tbh :,3

•Warrior Cats based questions

🍋= I started (officially) reading Warriors in 5th grade! Probably like alotta people X3 I tried reading them in 4th grade but i guess they weee too long for me

🍓,🍉, 🍇= already answered! See here

🍒= Probably The New Prophecy! I actually started reading warrior cats on The New Prophecy because I knew all the spoilers for Into the Wild :,3

🥝= already answered! See here

🍏= I’m currently on Omen Of The Stars! More specifically Sign of the Moon :3

🍐= Hmm, I’d really like to have The Last Hope because it’s the last book of Omen Of The Stars that I need to finish the series >_<

•Art based questions

🌲= I’ve been an artist for as long as I can remember!! All my life, basically

🌳= My fav thing to draw is animals, ofc! And occasionally nature

🌴= I’m not sure if I’ll ever sell art, but my brother is a encouragement :3

🌿= I’ve made so many Oc’s!! ( Mainly warrior cat Oc’s) One was a brown tabby named Moth’Cough!

🌱= Hm, I’m not sure about my fav art piece..

🪴= I’ve been inspired by JelArts (here’s their Pinterest acc) and other many other people!!

🍃= My dream/current art style realism or surrealism!

•Random Questions!!

🥀= any kind of Mountains, rivers, plains, forests, and jungles :3

🪷= I want to be explore the cow pasture across from my house! Unfortunately it doesn’t belong to me :,3

🌷= the most recent gear I made was my margay mask, and the first one was a cardboard grey wolf mask!

🌹= my favorite mask is probably my calico cat mask and my fav tail is my Coyote tail because it was my first real tail, and I’ve taken it on many adventures :3

💐= my most unusual piece of gear is probably some lunar moth wings I got for Christmas when I thought Lunar moth was one of my theriotypes! I know use them as bat wings :3

🌺= My friends, my half-sister and (i think) my parents know of my bisexuality, I don’t believe anyone knows of my they/them pronouns, and I believe only one friend knows of my alterhumanity but I think they forgot

🌼= my fav place I’ve explored is probably the rock bluffs at my grandparents farm :3

#get to know me #therian #cladotherian #nonhuman #alterhuman

[soothingmelody]

Video Essays, Jealousy, Melancholy and Lies

Have you ever found yourself living a lie?

This question has been stuck in my head ever since I started therapy earlier this year. And I don't mean it in some grand way of being a kind of double agent or stringing an elaborate web of lies to trick your childhood friend into playing sudoku to save your past self from burning down in an incinerator, but... Something much more mundane. 

I guess I should start from the beginning, cause otherwise the title of this post won't make too much sense. 

It is interesting how much we can experience through communication. Be it a Discord message, a Tumblr blog post like this, a tweet or a meticulously put together video essay, finding out about other people's experiences has been one of my favorite things throughout my life. I find people endlessly fascinating. I love it when people talk about their lives and their life experiences, so to me, the long winded, sort of pretentious format of the video essay is right up my alley. 

So, this morning, while enjoying a bowl of instant-ramen with some haphazardly cut green onions and a creamy eggy broth, I was watching this one video essay that one of my good friends had recommended to me the night before. Said video essay was about the appeal of Elfen Leid and the video itself, I found quite entertaining and very interesting. But, it did leave me feeling a tinge melancholic and I realized that this is far from the only video essay that has had that sort of effect on me. 

Growing up in Ukraine, a land ravaged by the collapse of the Soviet Union and the rise of uncontrolled capitalism, where you could easily find syringes behind a children's playground and your average neighborhood screamed "Half-Life 2 Level", I was a pretty quiet kid, despite my extremely extroverted nature. I do think a lot of these issues start here, which is why I wanted to mention this. I was bullied from a pretty young age, disregarded by people I found important to me and disregarded by people I called friends. To me, it was always a feeling of being not "cool enough". I wasn't into Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, I wasn't into Transformers, being "girly" for a "boy" such as myself was seen as disgusting, was met with slurs and even more bullying. And in this environment, I was just a quiet kid, with a big heart, who'd sit at the back of the class and draw his funny Sonic the Hedgehog comics.

All of this is to say that I grew up in a pretty cynical place, where cringe culture was way more commonplace and I could only find respite in the internet, mainly the russian Sonic forums of the era, where plenty of judgemental people remained still. That cynicism has really seeped through me and followed me through so much of my life. There were so many times when I would do something that felt natural to me, that didn’t hurt anyone and I would be shut down even by people I trusted the most and I would once again retreat into my own shell. 

This constant environment led me to not really participate in many subcultures actively in fear of being seen as weird and cringy, this constant environment led me to not stand out to much, to not take opportunities that would’ve led me to a more interesting life and left me with barely any skills to express myself, besides music or art. It made me afraid of my own queerness that I had to come to terms with and understand for many many years, dealing with my own toxic masculinity, finding out that I was not really straight or that I am not even truly a “man”.

And now looking back, when I am more mature and have changed and grown so much, that I finally managed to open myself up somewhat and “be cringe and free”, honestly, there is a strong melancholy there. There’s a regret. I wish I’ve done so much over my teens that I sadly cannot turn back anymore. To please those people that were holding me back, I gave up so much. That I am having my self indulgent phase when I am in my early 20s and not my early 10s. And I am still a work in progress, I have no idea if I am still living some sort of lie, cause that is stuff you admit to yourself down the road and figure out with hindsight. But I am happier today. But, for how sad this all may sound, I wanted to tell you, the reader, that it is never really too late to change and open up a bit.

It is however interesting, that even with all of this said and this regret that I do bear, I consider that my experience was still rather valuable. I met many people, I developed in my own way and now I love who I am. Maybe that regret, a desire for a better teenage life is yet just another lie, me trying to conform. But, that will be for future me to decide in hindsight. 

If you relate to anything I’ve said in this little self indulgent post, please remember, that no matter what, if you are not hurting anyone, you should be free to do whatever you want and nobody has the right to take that away from you. If they laugh, let them, you are the master of your own life, so go and be cringe. Go buy that anime figurine. Go write poetry. Go ask out someone you like. Do something that will make you happy today and maybe you won’t be stuck writing long Tumblr posts. 

Stop living a lie. Be yourself.

#random thoughts #I felt like writing #sorry this is a really personal post

[lhenn]

Karina

This is Karina’s story, a story of how she grew up in the cellars of a theatre, surrounded by music and dreaming of sharing it with the world, of how she made two friends (a sad ballerina and a rat), of how she has learnt from her teacher everything she’s ever known, asking half the questions she yearns to learn and receiving half the answers she expects, suspecting this mysterious and distant man, yet so familiar to her, keeps a lot of secrets within. But he’s always been honest with her, always taken care of her, given her everything she’s ever wished for, has he not? There were only a few rules she had to adhere to, so as to keep everything the way it had always been: she should take care of herself and not get hurt, never leave their place, never talk with people and never mention their names nor where they live. But the days are long and lonely for her, especially as she grows up, head full of dreams and nothing new left to try: little adventures to the theatre should be fine as long as no one finds out… right? Or so she thought during the eight years she spent sneaking into the theatre when Erik wasn’t watching her (or was he?). Until one day, Karina’s reality is shattered after her professor suddenly disappeared, forcing her to leave the lair and venture into the outside world, and it won’t take her long to discover that half the things Erik had taught her were a lie…

A bit of context

I’ll be posting bits of Karina’s backstory (my OC). She’s the D&D character I’m currently playing; developing her backstory and finding a fitting campaign has taken me almost two years! Sometimes it feels like an awful lot, thinking my first D&D OC Kaze’s backstory took me around 7 months to complete, but then I think about Lhena, my first ever OC, whose story is still under development after 8 years, and it feels so short (I like writing, so I craft PDFs -like, kinda long PDFs? More than 100 pages- to practice).

I’ve had three main inspirations (although they have kinda turned out to be 4 in the end, I won’t name the last one until it’s shown in the story): Phantom of the opera (mainly musical, both 2004 film and stage versions, there might be some nods to Leroux’s original novel though), Disney’s Tangled and the 1986 film Labyrinth.

The main reference is poto, it’s present everywhere, and yet it isn’t. I didn’t want to know what was going to happen next following Karina’s backstory, I never intended to do a retelling, so even though there are many similarities this is not Phantom of the opera, it will not be canon compliant nor follow the story.

Having said that, Karina is 18 yo as of now. She’s a genius when it comes to arts, her abilities will be shown along the story, I don't wish to spoil anything, although you can deduce that she, at least, possesses an unearthly, angelic voice. Almost all her knowledge she owes to her mysterious teacher… You might have already guessed, or maybe not, but Karina is the result of mixing Christine and Erik’s characters. In my opinion, this adds a fantastic turn of events and a very interesting divergence from poto (Erik’s character is still present -kind of).

Speaking about the campaign, we’re playing in a post-apocalyptic setting! A world where people live either behind walls or in small communities -tribes- fighting machines… (you can picture Horizon and The 100 to get an idea). But that’s a tale ought to tell in a different moment, taking place far away from where we are, a tale little Karina does not even dream about, shielded by music in the deep underground.

Most of my drawings are sketches, and I'm not fooling myself, I'm a disorganized student and I don't know when or if I'll finish them (although I want to and I plan to). The one above is Karina during last session. Her hair's a bit messed up because there was a combat (Such a thrilling third day outside!) and, as the party has claimed: «she technically is still alive» (and I don't know how to draw hair). I also don't know how to draw consistent faces, I'm trying :')

#oc #oc art #my ocs #K the phantom #my art #my writing #blog intro #my doodles #dnd art #dnd character #dnd oc #original character #erik makes an appearance #(mentioned) #phantom of the opera #the phantom of the opera #but with a spin #to be continued #lhen art

[geeksauruse]

Hello! My names Violet and I’d like a matchup for the 2012 tmnt brothers please! If not just ignore this lol

I’m 5’2 ½, I’m hourglass shaped with a lil chub so I wear baggier clothes and really prefur being covered up. I have shoulder length brown curly/wavy hair and Hazel eyes that appear brown but in the sun look gold and green (I really like my eyes lol) I typically war sneakers of some sort or work boots because I’m a busy person and even on my down time I’m moving so I don’t have time to let my feet hurt from heels n such even though I love dressing up.

I’m intelligent and usually always reading something, I can be very quiet but can make good conversation. I’m an INFJ so I’m very in tune to others around me. I’m extremely loyal to a fault and would do absolutely anything to the person I give my loyalty to. I love to bake and cook and even like to clean when I’m able to listen to music, cleaning is calming for me and lets me unwind with out feeling like I should be doing something. I’m the eldest daughter of six siblings so I have my fair share of responsibility and I take it in stride. I’m always helping and taking care of someone, I love that part of my responsibility because I’m a very motherly person. I have strong maternal instincts which leads me to befriend people who could be considered outcasts.

I can also be very stubborn and I struggle with depression, and anxiety. I have trust and abandonment issues which leads me to follow people around and be a bit clingy. I have a strong imagination which pulls me inside my own head a lot. I tend to be more involved with whats going on inside then whats happening in real life.

I really look for someone who has a sense of loyalty like my own, someone who would be ok with me being around a lot and being a bit clingy. I also want someone who has a sense of humor to: 1, help me out of depressive episodes, and 2, banter with me, I can be slightly sarcastic and love some good banter. I also want someone kind and empathetic, to match my own motherly instincts

I dislike people who are rude and mean for no reason and who are constantly looking for a fight. A big deal breaker for me is someone telling me what to do and not letting me make my own choices. I need someone to support me, not control me.

My hobbies are: Reading, Writing, listening to music, watching game plays (Mainly horror like fnaf), watching some tv mainly historical fiction or horror, art, like drawing, watercolors, that stuff, I also adore the forest and space so I’m always researching some plant or planet. I’m taking forensic science and psychology in school right now so whoever I get better be ready to listen to me rant about not only all of this but also new things I’ve learned lol

Bro I am so sorry this took so long and you were so patiently waiting for me to stop procrastinating( or you forget than I am sorry any way.)

Any way I would match you up with…

The lovable nerd Donnie!

Donnie would be you lover for several reasons, but let’s start off on how y’all met.

You were walking back to your house from the library with a fresh stack of books that looked interesting.

It was getting darker out as the sun began to set and night  began and an unsettling quite set in for the usually noisy city of New York 

As you walked though a quite steer you heard something, it was muffled but sounded like voices.

Against your better judgment you crept closer to the voices only to see what you thought was green, three fingered, turtle aliens.

They were talking about a recent robbery by the local gang “ the purple dragons”

You had crept a little to close and you slipped on a peice of loose paper falling flat in front of the massive creatures.

In an attempt to get up quickly to hit your head on the back of a pole that was sticking out of the dumpster.

Que Donnie hurriedly walking over to you to see what damage had been done, lucky for you not much you were just kinda out of it. The fists thing you noticed aside from him being not human were his beautiful eyes, the ones that looked almost identical to yours.

You are so out of it that you just said “ you have beautiful eyes” as he checked your pulse.

You were fine but had to promise that you would keep them a secret. 

You had no problem with this as the turtles began to come around more often to see you, and after a few weeks of gaining trust,you were introduced to spinster and the lair.

After your eye comment, you and Donnie became almost instant friends and you bonded over your shared thirst for knowledge and your intellects.

He loves seeing what you read so he can get new books for you and suggest books that he thinks you would like.

Wants you to cook for him since you have an interest in it, he also likes to listen to you about your many skills.

Thinks your amazing for being able to have so many skills and he fully loves that you like horrer games( he waters a lot of game play through.

Loves listing to you rant about what you passionate about, staters learning more about phycology even though he is also pretty in tune with people as well.

When he developed feeelings, it’s going to be an entire thing.

He starts giving more information on plants, space and he even started to save cool documentaries he thinks your going to like

When he confessed to you it’s going to be so sweet and messy, he expressed that he really only liked you and he would remain loyal till the end. 

When you started dating he started rotting to work up your confidence and wanted to help on your anxiety and depression episodes.

Knows how to help and did a bit of extra research just in case.

He wanted to help you I all the ways!

Insecure in the new outfit? He’s there to tell you how beautiful your curvy body is!

Are you upset an overwhelmed with sad and anxiety fill thoughts? He’s there with a new movie and blankets.

No matter what, he is there to support you

And make sure that you know you are loved for who you are no matter how big you are. 

He’s a snarky little boy so get ready for the sarcasm that comes with this relationship.

Does not mind you being clingy at all, to be honest it brings him out of his work Brain and into his loved ones Brain that can rest.

What’s to make all your inner world dreams come true and spends time making you personalised gifts to fit your wonderful imagination.

Donnie loves you lots and is ready to be there and stay there for however long you will have him.

“ I’m not going anywhere dove, I love you with every fiber and bone in my body.”

                                 💜💜💜💜

Hope you like it, have a good day!

#tmnt bayverse #tmnt donatello #tmnt #tmnt fanart #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt match up #matchups #pizzalover

[sugarplanet]

"Did I Draw That?" Critiquing Your Old Art and Tracking Your Growth

You’ve probably had that feeling before where nothing you’re drawing is quite up to snuff or you can’t seem to make anything you’re particularly proud of. Art blocks and creative ruts are a plague to most artists and sometimes it feels like you’ll be sick with them forever. As someone who can find it hard to draw or post when I’ve lost any sense of motivation because “my art isn’t good enough, I don’t have any followers,” I’ve made myself work harder on redirecting towards more productive means of self-critique and analysis to keep me from self-destructing over my craft. One way I go about self-analysis or finding inspiration again is by comparing myself to myself instead of to artists that are years ahead or behind me so I can see how I’ve been taking to the efforts I’ve made to improve while, where I want to improve more, and get reacquainted with my art in a more personal sense instead of looking at numbers of likes or views on post next to other people’s art.

I found an exercise I did back in 2021 where I was practicing some lighting and paint stoke techniques free hand, really experimenting with the most innocuous thing I could think of at the time; a lady holding a cat. I did the first piece on a whim, making things a little flat, and then actively revisited the piece a couple months later with some sharper brushes, a more expressive subject, and greater contrast in color and value. I even added a simple background to make things a little more interesting. I did like some things in both pieces (the color palate and understated texture I got in the first piece and the greater energy in the later piece) but I know there was plenty of room for improvement (mainly the anatomy and the blobbiness of the cats). Looking at the pieces, I tried to find the mindset I had when I worked on them and think about my approach; as flawed as they were, I liked them a little still and wanted to try one more time to see if I could make something out of it.

This piece feels more disciplined than the others with a background and stronger anatomy but does employ some of the spirit of the first two in the painterly approach.

It’s nice being able to look fondly back on your own art, but it can be a little worrying at times liking your old art while also combating feelings of dissatisfaction with your current output. There’s a belief that one mark of improvement is being able to look back on your own work and reflexively gag over how wonky the quality is. With that logic, you liking your old work at all must mean that you either haven’t improved at all or you can’t see how you’ve improved. To counteract that kind of downward spiral-inducing line of thought, understand that part of becoming a better (and happier) artist is being able to see your skill and improvement while also being able to spot your shortcomings and improving them without fixating them. I wasn’t always able to look at my own art objectively and redo an older concept or update a piece so easily but understanding the value in all of your work, even the super dated and wonky stuff, does a service to your craft (not to mention your self-esteem.)

If you feel like your work isn’t up to snuff or if the dredges of stagnation are biting at your toes, try sifting through your portfolio or sketches or psd files of over stuffed canvases with hundreds of layers (I’m not the only one that does that, right?) and see what you’ve found since before you first discovered that new brush set or around a time when you were last energetic in your work or even something from this time last year. It’s best to see if you have any files separate from social media like twitter or instagrams so you aren’t judging your work based on arbitrary popularity or clickability; look at it without bias and be fair to yourself. Is there something you found that you liked or really don’t like at all anymore? Could you see how to improve on it if you’re sure you can do better? I’d suggest a character design or portrait that you like in a way but can instantly think up a few ideas on how to make it a lot better. All the progress you’ve made is going to shine through each new detail and correction; you’ll take good care to treat something so important well!

#journal #my art #self help #self improvement #redraw #art critique #cats #cat portrairs #digital art #clip studio paint #art tips #brblog

[facetsofthecloset]

15 Questions 15 Mutuals

Was tagged by @meteor--shards​, but tumblr tumblred and didn’t notify me at all! I just happened to see the post while scrolling luckily lol

(idk why this keeps happening even when people tag my main blog. should probably contact support about that >_>)

Were you named after anyone?

Yes, my first name came from my dad’s tai chi teacher’s wife. Which sounds like a weird random connection, but they were practically his second set of parents so, yeah.

When was the last time you cried?

Yesterday. This morning? idk man i’m on an emergency trip back home at my parent’s place for mental health reasons i am not at my most resilient rn

Do you have kids?

As in actual kids I birthed myself, hell fucking no, but considering the age gap between me and my brothers I half-consider them my own kids in some ways.

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Why no, never. Not at all. Not even the tiniest slightest bit. Perish the thought.

[^i’m lying for the bit] What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Uhh, never really thought about it, but if we’re meeting in person, probably their height?? Just because most people are taller than me so the first thing I have to do is crane my neck lol

If we’re talking about online, I only ever use tumblr, so probably their tags

What’s your eye color?

Brown. Pretty much black though.

Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings, usually, because for a long time I was too wimpy for any kind of horror. In recent years I’ve really started getting into it but I still tend to go to media for happy endings because real life generates enough horror for me most days MY GOD what is happening with the chickens!?!

Sorry our flock of chicks was being really loud just now because one got separated by a thin concrete wall that was very echo-y lol (they’re fine now)

Any special talents?

Eh, dunno about that. My party trick used to be leaning over backwards really low (think, like, for playing limbo or Matrix bullet-dodging) without falling over or touching the ground, but the pandemic nuked my stamina and all physical ability, so I’ve just been in mild but constant pain for the past year or so.

I guess I’m decently quick at picking up the very basics of new creative mediums (paints or embroidery or whatever), maybe that counts.

Where were you born?

Japan. Oh dear that chick got separated again hang on

nvm it was a second chick that got separated earlier as well and was hanging around the kitchen door, which was why it was so loud. It’s fine and much quieter now.

What are your hobbies?

Writing and drawing mainly, but I’m the kind of person who has five million hobbies because I need to rotate between them to keep myself interested. So auxiliary hobbies include costume making (covers a lot of different hobbies honestly), swimming (in the ocean. and not like, proper forms and all that. just being in the water basically), parkour (can’t at present for physical condition), roller/ice skating (once again, not atm), started woodcarving the other day (kinda falls under costume making because i’m trying to make a wizard staff lol) and whatever else I feel like taking a stab at for one day and then maybe never again (I should try fencing. maybe when my back isn’t in constant pain)

Have any pets?

At my parent’s place, there’s a cat, a dog (both fairly elderly), bunch of half-wild chickens, various fish, and a tortoise (the kind that get big). Don’t keep any pets at my place because I travel back and forth too much and it wouldn’t work logistically.

What sports do you play/have you played?

Like on an official team/club? None, aside from parkour briefly. Otherwise it’s stuff I mentioned in hobbies that I learned either on my own or had a friend casually give me tips or something. My parents have been teaching me tai chi on and off through the years? Does that count it’s a martial art isn’t it I mean

How tall are you?

5′2″ is what I tell people. Technically I’m just a hair too short for that but it sounds defensive to say 5′1.8″ when I don’t actually care that much lol

Favorite subject in school?

Art, enjoyed the marine biology course I got to take in hs. Was good at English but never loved the way any of my teachers taught it. Technically my hs history class was my favorite but that was bc of the teacher and not the subject matter.

Dream job?

I’ve always wanted to be a fantasy writer, but I figure that can be a long term goal. For now, for a job that would sustain me? I would LOVE to be involved in theater costuming or even just grunt work in a production company. Something creative and silly. I’m considering applying to work at Tokyo Disneyland despite grievances with the company overall just because being in a themed environment every day and getting to see “behind the scenes” does sound fun. Even though I’m sure the work culture is probably horrible. idk something to do with costumes or practical effects would be amazing.

I also love bugs and animals but I have a harder time visualizing myself working in related fields there

I don’t have 15 active mutuals, but: @mariegoos, @vonlipvig​, or anyone else who wants to play, feel free! No pressure tho

Thanks for the tag! It was fun :)

#tag games #fun #i'm sorry if this post winds up posting five thousand times or as doubles or something #tumblr is having a normal one #meteor i feel like we have a lot in common but a little to the left lol #in a good way #thanks again for the tag

[life-of-kalos]

I think you have some really good anatomy when it come to humans and pokemon, and really good skill when it comes to colors and lighting and even backgrounds!! I think something to work on however is consistency, i’ve noticed that your style can be super detailed one minute, or a different style the next, which is totally fine depending on how much time you have! That or it could be one rendered panel and the others are colorless. Some advice could be mayhaps simplifying coloring some asks if you’re worries about putting them out on time, or taking some extra time to ensure a style is consistent across a sequential set of panels? put your efforts into a style you can easily use for asks and save that detailed style for more important panels you want to emphasize! I hope this didn’t sound too confusing, art is hard, but don’t forget you’re doing great!! its all a journey!

You're so right. I constantly change my style. It's mainly because I'm not satisfied with how I draw now so every time I draw I try to change things up in a way I might like. I'm currently going through a "what do I want my style to be" kind of phase so things have been very all over the place. That's honestly why I'm asking for feedback OTL I really want to love my style but I get bored with it after doing the same one a few times lol and admittedly, I use this blog as a way to try new ones out.

I've only recently been testing waters with lighting. I used to only do clean line art with flat color and simple shades but It became boring to me. Now I've been trying messy lines with more detail coloring. I am quite fond of it but there's still a lot more I need to figure out.

I tend to do colorless sketches as a quick way to tell more story without taking too much time. And throw in a detailed piece when there's more of a tone I want to set. It may seem lazy but I really don't have time to color all of my sketches. And honestly I lose stamina after coloring one piece lmao. I haven't really stepped back and took time on this blog because I'm trying to tell a story within this decade haha I'm not very fast at drawing so I cut corners when I can.

But you're completely right. I need to focus if I want to improve. Find a simple style for asks that I can do consistently and experiment on the side. Thank you for your feedback!

#bluetalks #dl #munday #ask #i hate that i get bored with my stylr #or i see one #and im like #oh i wanna try that #then do it once and like nah #not for me

[rise-tmnt-fan]

Genuine question here!

Lately I’ve been really into drawing (Especially the turtles from rottmnt) and have found out that it is near impossible to get a good picture of a sketchbook that doesn’t look too grainy, shiny or weird. (If you have tips with this I would appreciate it!)

So I’ve been wondering what drawing apps would be good for a person who has no clue what to do, doesn’t have the right supplies (For Example- A drawing tablet, or pencil) and only has a phone (and possibly a fire tablet?).

What would I use these drawing apps for?

- I would like to make a comic/comics with it

- Character Sheets and Sketches

- Amateur Animation

- Along with stickers/keychains I’ve been wanting to design for months for my Etsy.

Budget- Mainly free. Kinda tight with money. 😅

Also any drawing pens that you would recommend?

What spurred this on?

- I’ve always wanted to get into art but couldn’t really find anything I truly wanted to draw (anatomy has been a struggle and I couldn’t really find a ton of time between life and my writing so I put off this desire to draw or make any sort of comic in favor of things that I could do without much trouble. Rise kind of spurred on some ideas that I definitely didn’t just want to see on a google doc. Hence why I’ve suddenly became very interested in drawing (that and tumblr and all the amazing artists/writers!)

Any and all help is appreciated!!!

I hope you have a good day!! Bye!!

#please help #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #save rise of the tmnt #wannabe author #wannabe artist #wanna be comic artist #help i dont know what im doing

[uzis-gone-crazy]

Brand New Intro, Who Woulda Thought ‼️☄️🚀

Remember that random head’s up I mentioned before ? It wasn’t a bluff after all !!

Hi !! Nice to meet you (again) !!

I’m Niko(lai) / Ceptr, and I’m the host of The Space Colony ARK System (and leader of the Starline Stans - IYKYK), an OSDD-1b (presumably?? We’ve never received a real diagnosis, and I’ve never switched with anyone in the system out of paranoia, so that’s the only label I can really give us rn ☠️) system of 40+ !!

Besides OSDD, we also have Autism, ADHD, (the former 2 have been diagnosed by a therapist we went to a year or so ago), and maybe OCD (??? I get intrusive thoughts that seem to fall under H-OCD, but it always could be something else)!

——————————🌀——————————

Getting a bit more personal and going into a bit of detail on me specifically :

I’m an aroace-spec genderqueer (AFAB) lesbian!

I’m trying out She / Her again, alongside Fae / Faer !

I’m also a multifictive - I mainly talk about system stuff over here -> https://www.tumblr.com/thespacecolonyarksystem, so head over there if you wanna ask me about that !

I’m into a handful of fandoms, and I draw for some of them from time to time (art Tumblr here -> https://www.tumblr.com/d0t3xe) !

Said fandoms include: Sonic The Hedgehog, Spiderverse, Murder Drones (PLEASE tune in today, 3/29/24, at 6 PM EST for Episode 7 !!), JJK (Do NOT ask me to explain JJK lore cuz I do NOT know what’s happening 😹🙏), and more (feel free to ask!!)

——————————🌀——————————

DNI List Here !

Basic DNI Criteria, proshippers, endo systems of any kind + supporters, terfs, xenogender + neopronoun haters, ableist, anti-fictionkin or system, bi lesbians + turigirls + lesboys + etc and their supporters !

FYI !

I use emojis/exclamation marks at the end of almost every sentence because I don’t wanna seem awkward, and I use tone tags when first meeting people out of concern somebody may take something I said too literally 💬

That’s about everything! Feel free to drop by with a message/question/etc sometime!

- 🌀

#intro post !! #reblogs galore !! #the Chad Tumblr post !! #spread the word !! #The Starline Stan Chronicles !! #meet the cast !!

[marshmalloworca]

I MADE A FIVERR

I’m doing art commissions on fiverr, so if you want any art drawn why not take a look at it?

I’ve been drawing for many years and have been doing digital art for a couple years now too, in the past I’ve mainly drawn for fun and have honed my artistic skills through this passion. I can draw fan-art of anime, cartoons and games, I can draw your original characters, and I am comfortable to draw real people in my style. I’ve got a couple different choices on my gig for you to choose from, from line-art of one character to full-colour group images of up to 5 characters with simple backgrounds, starting at $20.

There are additional choices that cost a little extra, and the delivery date is to give me as much time as possible to finish your commission if things happen on my side or if I run into difficulties with your order, it’s more than likely you’ll receive your order before that date.

I’ve got a few image examples of the kind of work you can expect to see when you commission me.

#fiverr #commission #art commish #art commisions #art commission info #art commission sale #art commissions 2023 #art commissions open #self promo #art #digital art #artists on tumblr #my art #drawing #oc #anime #anime art #anime fanart #digital illustration #digital commisions #digital aritst #character art #original art #oc art #artwork #commisions open #commisionwork #drawing commisions #taking commisions #commision info

[mikadokyun]

First of all, sorry for not posting anything here in a while. Secondly, i’m sorry for having been so childish in recent years about many things, like ships or other things. I’ve been in kind of dark place for a while, but i feel like i’ve matured a bit about some things in recent months. I’m sorry for having acted so rudely, and i think many people can agree on how badly i have acted in recent months/years. I think i took everything too seriously and as personal attack, which is something i need to fix with myself still (due to some personal stuff). 

Tbh, i have had kind of odd “responsibility” of being the only one who creates izamika content anymore and i know that sounds kind of ridiculous. But it’s true. I’m not on artblock because of that mainly (though i have to say that other people’s opinions have in some way changed the way i draw art) though. I feel like that also made me take it way too seriously and stressing myself out. 

Lastly, i don’t know if i will be posting that much here. I’ve moved to Discord pretty much and i have had an artblock for ages (as you can probably tell) so i haven’t had a chance to draw actually nice art. I might change my mind and post something here occasionally, but i will be mostly on Discord. My Twitter (private) is currently pretty inactive too. I’m NOT quitting this Tumblr. It will be just very inactive i think. If you ever want to chat with me about things like izamika, feel free to ask for my Discord handle. I still love izamika and i love to talk about it.