#I'm shocked at how much it did considering I had already prepared myself for a bad ending

[parkkiablah]

To feel something (Zevlor)

(Just a little slice of life kinda story about Zevlor. I usually try to keep my writing as gender neutral as possible, but as this isn't really a romance story I just went for a female character. I hope you like it! 🧡)

Zevlor was on his way home, not thinking about anything and just taking in the busy streets of the town.

Parents chasing after their children, a couple flirting at the side of the road, a man who dropped his groceries picking them up again. He considered helping him pick them up but he had already done so before he got there, so he just continued walking. Everyone had their own worries and it made him feel like his own ones weren't as big anymore.

"Excuse me! Do you have a few minutes?", he heard a voice next to him and felt a hand on his arm a second later. He jumped at the sudden contact but turned his head to the small woman next to him.

"Oh I apologize, I didn't want to startle you.", she said.

"It's nothing you'd have to apologize for, really. What did you want?"

"What- Oh, right! I'm an artist and I wanted to ask if it's okay if I draw you?"

"Me?" He was surprised, shocked even. Why would someone want to draw him? He didn't consider himself worth the paint and paper wasted on drawing him.

"Please please please?", she continued when she noticed him hesitating.

"Are you sure? You could use your paint on someone much prettier.", he responded.

"You don't think you are pretty?", she asked like she was in disbelieve.

"Well, I never considered myself that."

"Let me prove you wrong."

She took his hand, leading him over to the side of the street where she had her art supplies ready.

"Take a seat.", she said while smiling at him. Her smile would lighten up everyone's mood, he was sure of that.

He sat down there and she was preparing some of her brushes to start painting.

"Do I have to do anything?", he asked. Usually people posed for paintings, didn't they?

"No, not at all.", she stated already busy with the process of painting.

She was focused on the art she was making, looking at him in between. He still didn't believe she wanted to draw him of all people. Never would he have thought someone would consider him when they thought about art.

She was so focused she didn't notice him taking in her features. Her hands and parts of her clothes had spots of colors on them, her hair was tied back but some shorter strands did fall out of the tie and in her face. Some of the strands had paint on them as she had to remove them from her face and put them behind her ear.

He wasn't aware of how much time passed as she drew him but once she was done she handed the picture to him.

It showed him a few moments before he had met her. Her art showed him a few moments before he had met her. The groceries the man had dropped shown on the picture and Zevlor looked like he was gonna run over to them any second to help pick them up.

"I just had to draw you, you looked so at peace walking down the street and noticing all these people. You looked like you were going to help him but stopped when he had already picked them up before you got the chance to.", she said to him, her eyes shining as she talked to him. "This world honestly would need some more people like you, it makes me feel like I am safe. I hope you like it, I know I'm not the best artist."

He needed a few moments to realize what was going on.

"It's amazing. Really.", he stared more at her, than at the painting in his hands. His life rarely sent people like her his way.

He still didn't think he was pretty, but he knew what she saw in that moment, how she felt and that's all that mattered. After all art wasn't always supposed to be pretty, but to make you feel something.

#bg3 #bg3 zevlor #zevlor

[x0401x]

Hi! I've only watched the anime for Tsurune and I LOVED the first two seasons but after reading some of your Tsurune posts it got me curious. How different is the anime adaption from the source material? It sounds like an entirely different thing! I really liked the first season, but apparently it was a disaster? In what ways, if you don't mind me asking? Should I read the novels instead? I'm sorry for so many questions or if you've answered these already

Oh.

Oh, holy shit.

This is not the kind of ask I was expecting to get in the year of our lord 2024.

I’ll start by saying that you’re totally right. It sounds like an entirely different thing because the original work and the anime adaptation are, in fact, almost entirely different from each other. If you ever look for reviews of volume 1 on Japanese sites, the comment you’ll see the most from people who also watched the anime is “it’s so different from the novel that it might be best to just view the two as separate stories”. If I had to estimate how much of the novels was actually included into the animation, I would say 5% to 10%. I’m being pretty generous here.

You’re also right about the first season being a disaster. I remember that when I first watched the first episode of S1, by the moment that the series title came up, I immediately thought to myself, “This won’t sell well. 3k DVD copies, give or take”. And turns out I was wrong. It actually sold around 2.7k, which is even worse than what I had predicted. It did so infamously bad that many fans were worried about the second season before it came out, and some people were being rather foul-mouthed about it, which was a shock for me because you don’t usually see Japanese fans not following fandom etiquette. However, there was much more effort put into S2 than S1, thankfully. There’s also the whole thing with the arson attack, which pulled in people’s interest and support for the series. Overall, it did fairly well, I believe. I would never say that S2 does the novel any justice, but it was light years better than S1. That’s something everyone agrees to, even those who enjoyed S1.

Still, though. Even with S2 being far more successful than S1, that’s technically not so big of a deal, considering S1’s tragic underperformance. The series is known here in Japan mostly because of its association with the arson, but not many people are really into it. I would say that it has a niche audience consisting of 1) people who were already fans of KyoAni to begin with, 2) novel readers and 3) people who practice Japanese archery. As for the overseas audience… barely anyone has ever even heard of Tsurune, be it the anime or the novels. Many people who do know the anime have dropped it by S1, and the reason I see being pointed out the most is that it was “boring as hell”.

Other than this, I’ve noticed something in common when reading comments on S2 from Japanese Twitter. One thing people say a lot (and I do mean a lot) is that they didn’t like S1, but after watching S2, they were able to see that “KyoAni was, in fact, taking this franchise seriously”, so they gave it a second chance. This is meant as a compliment, but although it’s not backhanded per se, it’s kind of underhanded. I mean, who wants to be told, “Thank God you got your shit together this time around”? It’s good that S2 changed people’s opinions on the series, but the fact that it had to be changed speaks volumes about what people thought of S1.

Now, as to whether you should just read the novels, I would say yes. It’s literally the only way to know what Tsurune is truly about. But I have to warn you that, if you loved the anime, you might have to prepare yourself to see the things you loved about it either not being in the novel or taking a completely different turn in it. If you’re able to handle that, then by all means, go ahead and give the source material a try. It’s honestly one of the most unique novels I’ve ever read, and I’ve read just about every light novel out there. The depictions of Japanese archery and Zen go way deeper and you’ll learn much more about the characters, so I’m sure you’ll have a fun time!

#tsurune #tsurune tsunagari no issha #tsurune kazemai koukou kyuudoubu #tsurune hajimari no issha #kyoani #kyoto animation

[chad-valorant-enjoyer-and-writer]

[ Chamber x Viper ]

NSFW

[ Body swap shenanigans ]

DONT READ YET! ALL MY WORK JUST WENT POOF BECUZ TUMBLR DIDN'T SAVE WAIT– FUCKKKK.

Part-3

The bed kept bouncing and their bodies kept slapping together. It hasn't even been the an hour sincethe first round, when Wet and squishy noises echoed in the room alongside the moaning escaping Viper's mouth.

Yes. They're back in their own bodies. It happened in the middle when Chamber (Viper) was railing Viper (Vincent) from behind, while giving a few insults here in there.

***

Earlier.

"You're such a whore for me, chamber. Moan louder–"

"-mmoh!?"

She was just holding onto her original bodies arms with a tight grip. One of Vincent's hands were enough to restrain both her arms, arousingly enough. She used the other hand to continuesly to spank.

Chamber was a little confused at the sudden change of POV. He couldn't help but smirk. "Oh how the tables have turned~"

Viper had her face mushed into the pillow, her breasts and nipples exposed to the cold room air. "W-Wait– Ahn! Ah!

Chmaber trusted with his whole length at once over and over again, kissing her cervix with his raw dick. "What do you mean by wait?" He teased, bending over her so that his mouth was on her ear. "I pleaded for a break whilst I orgasmed uncontrollably– consider this payback."

Though it felt like revenge for his shame, he couldn't help but feel a sense of completion. His second orgasm of the night came like a violent torrent.

Viper moaned loudly into the pillow. Their bodies reverberated with shivers as thick fluid flowed between their legs.

"You idiot, why did you do it inside?! I might get pregnant– are you going to take responsibility!?" She sniffed, still on the high of her spasms.

Chamber chuckled. "If that happened, I will– but I do remember you saying it was your safe week, before you ravished me senseless."

Viper and she rolled on her back to face him, still on his knees and his dick still inside. She was shocked he remembered. "T-That was–

Chamber held both her wrists above her head, pinning them on the headboard. "And you said, you'd cream pie me all night long~"

Viper gulped. "Y-You're a freak, how can you go on after all that?"

"It's not my fault you turn me on so fucking much. So be prepared, theres so much more left in the tank."

Chamber reached onto the desk beside the bed and reached for a bottle of water. He took a large gulp of it before kissing Viper, with water still in his mouth– directly feeding her with it.

"W-what was that for!? I could've done it myself!?" She blushed, as water dripped on her chin.

Chamber smirked smug, "It's because I noticed how your body reacted to being showered with attention." He started to raise the crook of her neck. "So I'm going to do so."

Chu~

"I- Ahn! I- mm! I d-don–TT!!"

Viper muffled her moans. Her was a great kisser, but god his hickeies are something else. He move down, making sure to leave a trail, began sucking at her nipples. Her large DD cup breasts were erect under his gaze. "Even if you're not honest with me your nipples sure are."

He gave both a good suck before ehe continued lower, still holding onto her arms.

He continued lower, and lower, till he reached her lower abdomen. He noticed as her pussy leaked with their fluids. "Oh wow, we made quite the mess down here..."

Viper had enough of the after-fore-play, "Just fuck me already!"

Chamber picked up up from the bed and held up up against the wall, her legs wrapping around his waist. She gulped a small prayer. "Oh God– Ahn! Ah! Nngg... auh!

Chamber did as she urged. Relentlessly thrusting back and forth and before the known it, it was dawn.

***

"God Chérie, that was amazing..."He heaved, his chest inflating and deflating.

Viper just hummed, as she was resting her head in his shoulder. "My lower half would testify as well."

"Say Cherie, how should we deal with our mess? also, does this mean we are together now?" chamber asked.

viper just shrugged. "im not opposed to it. though, it is a bit comical how a supernatural event got us to sleep in the same bed. as for the together part-- buy me dinner first."

" Viper, i have been trying to for the past year. And please, call me Vincent."

"Sabine."

they just laughed before falling asleep in each other's arms, completely unaware that the room was secretly bugged by killjoy. The stereo speaker was still playing even as they drifted off.

"-Spend your money like money ain't shit (whoop, whoop) We too fresh Got to blame it on Jesus Hashtag blessed, they ain't ready for me-"

Vincent isn't going to lie, he feels blessed right now having her in his arms.

The End.

A/N: short Ik, but like, im not that down bad ( totally didn't lose three rewrites of part three because tumblr goofed up and ended up pissed.)

#valorant #valorant chamber #valorant viper #fanfic #valorant fanfiction

[ketso]

Episode 14

I actually love living with Senzi. And I love him even more because we got our own place and didn't shack up with his parents. Yoh, his mother would drive me crazy. She doesn't even like me. And with Senzi's job as a pilot, I'd be stuck with that woman most of the time. When he's working, I'm usually alone in the house. But I can deal with that.

I miss Bassie and Morafe. I miss them being one or two doors away from me, or just living in a communal space where I could just step outside my door and talk to people. Now, I live in a triple-gated area. I don't know my neighbours. I live in a four-bedroom double story house with a HUGE garden and a big ass pool. We chose a location close to the airport so it's easier and closer for Senzi to get to work. We stay in a stunning estate called Clearwater Estate in Boksburg, in the Eastrand.

Senzi came home last night from an international trip. I have him to myself for the next five days before he takes off again. He says we should have a baby, then I'd feel less alone. I'm actually considering it. It gets really lonely. And you can only do so much at the church, shame.

Senzi is still asleep. He must be so tired. He got home after midnight. He woke me up. We had a lot of sex, and now he's been passed out ever since. I'm making breakfast for him, but I'm also preparing lunch because we are hosting our parents today and officially, sivula indlu.

I have a domestic worker who was shoved onto us by Senzi's mother. Senzi's mother even wanted her to be a stay-in domestic worker. I refused! So, she comes in daily to clean then leaves. She gives me attitude all the time. I tell the girls about her on the WhatsApp group and they are always giving me tips on how to politely tell her to fuck off. My issue is that I don't want to come across as if I'm ungrateful, especially to Senzi. I fight his mother on EVERYTHING. It's at a point now where I honestly feel as if he looks at me and wonders if I see anything right with what his mother does – especially for us. I don't want my husband to view me that way. So with the domestic worker, I bite my tongue as much as possible. I'd rather it be someone else who sees her for the cow that she is. She cleans everywhere except for my bedroom. And she doesn't cook. I know she's told Senzi's mother because Senzi's mother has more than taken shots at me for it. But those are my boundaries. I don't trust her.

"There's my stunner of a wife", I hear Senzi say. But he's already wrapped around my body. He's topless as well.

"Good morning my handsome husband."

"Hello baby", he says, turning me around and kissing me.

"Why aren't you dressed? The domestic worker is here and you know she reports me to your mom for everything", I say.

"This is my house. I can walk around here butt naked if I want to", he says and kisses me... on my lips... on my neck...

"Senzi", I say in a moan.

He picks me up and puts me on the kitchen counter. He brushes my thighs. I'm giggling and enjoying this like some teenage girl.

We hear someone clear their throat. I actually fall off the counter because I'm in so much shock. Senzi's erection is so tense, he doesn't turn around to attend to whoever is here - nor is he able to help me and I really think that I injured myself.

"Senzangakhona! There is an adult in this house! Why ningayenzi lo mhlolo wenu in your bedroom?" It's Senzi's mother. How did she even get in?!

"Mah, please... I'm begging you. Please wait for us in the living room. Please." Senzi says.

"Senzangakhona!" The mother.

"MAH, PLEASE! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY KITCHEN! HOW DID YOU EVEN GET IN HERE WITHOUT US BEING NOTIFIED?! THIS IS NOT YOUR HOUSE!" After God, fear a man with a heavy erection.

The mother gets the message then she leaves the kitchen.

"You okay?" I ask him.

"I just need a minute", he says.

He takes a minute to breathe and calm down.

"Are you okay?" Now that he's better and his penis is respecting him, he asks me.

"I think I'm injured. My ankle really hurts. I can't move it", I say.

He sits down and attends to me.

"It's changing colour, babe. I need to get you to a hospital." He says.

Now I'm crying. I'm in so much pain.

He carries me up the stairs and to our main bedroom. His mom thinks we are headed to go have sex so she's shitting on us. Senzi is not even entertaining her. We get to our bedroom and he locks the door. He quickly changes. Fortunately, I had already showered and am dressed. When he is done, he carries me to the car, leaving his mom still yelling like a mad woman. He drives me off to the hospital.

-

I'm waking up a bit drowsy and confused. Senzi is here with my mother, my father, my brothers and his parents.

"Senzi", I mumble.

They all jump and look at me.

"Hey baby. I'm right here", he says.

"What's going on?" I ask him.

"You had to have an emergency surgery on your foot. But everything went well. You'll just be on crutches for a while, but you are going to be great. You'll see", he says and kisses me.

I smile at him.

"You are going to be okay. You'll see. Your dad organised a private room for you. I'll be staying here with you until you are discharged, okay?" Him.

“What about work?” I ask him.

“I took leave, baby. You know that you come first.” He says.

I nod my head.

My parents greet me. Khanya is also talking to me. But it feels like I cannot hear them. I'm just drifting into deeper sleep.

...

I can't believe all we were just trying to do was have sex. Then because my mother has no respect for privacy, my wife has had surgery. Imagine! I feel bad. But I'm happy she's doing a lot better. I submitted my leave as well. I'll be staying with Wandi at home until she's good. I can't leave her alone in such a state.

"Sho", Khanya says. He's walking in with Khosini. I'm just sitting here next to Wandi watching her sleep. Wandi"s mom walks in behind the boys with drinks.

"I brought us something to eat. You need to eat something, bafo", Khanya says to me.

I force a thankful smile and thank him for thinking about me.

Wandi's mom brushes my shoulders and smiles at me.

"She's going to be okay", she says.

I nod my head and say, "I just wish she could wake up, talk to me and tell me that."

"She will. Sleeping means that her body is healing. Don't stress." The mom.

"Your mom says y'all were having sex when she broke her ankle", Khosini says and I'm actually shocked. I cannot even hide it. What would press my mom to say something like that to people.

Wandi's mom laughs a bit.

I'm just embarrassed.

"So, your mom walked in on you?" Khanya.

I need Wandi to wake up and put her family in place. This is a bit embarrassing.

Khanya laughs now.

I just chuckle.

We start eating.

We chat about useless things as we eat. Wandi is peacefully sleeping. Khanya is cool with Wandi's mom. Khosini is very off. I know that he is semi anti-Maphuthi because he actually wants his parents to get back together. Wandi told me that she doesn't know what Mam'Thandeka told him, but she thinks Mam'Thandeka had the "your dad cheated with Maphuthi and our family fell apart at that point" conversation with him. Khosini is too comfortable talking about how Maphuthi's release will now see his parents never getting back together again. He also throws the whole "Maphuthi and Baba are sleeping together again" way too loosely for my liking - as if he's unaware that these are two grown consenting adults that he's speaking about - and two adults that are way older than him. Khosini treats Maphuthi weird as well - uncomfortably so. I don't even know how to be right now.

They all leave when the visiting hour ends. I get ready to sleep. I head into the toilet to take a piss... probably a shit too, after all of that food. Everything smells like medicine in here. I'm not sure if it's making me shit easier or holding my stomach tighter.

When I'm done, I step back into Wandi's room. My mom is here. With Julia. I thought the visiting hour was over.

"What are the two of you doing here?" I ask them.

"Not even a hello? Hawu Senzi, when did you and I become enemies?" Julia.

"What do you want? I know you don't like Wandi, so you are not here to wish her well." Me.

"Yeah, I don't like her. But I do care about you. When mom told me that you were not okay over Wandi being injured, I thought I'd come here and bring some prayers." She says.

I just don't trust this girl. I don't even know why my mom would disrespect my wife like this and bring this girl here.

"Is it okay if I pray for her speedy recovery?" Julia asks me.

"No, it's not okay. My wife and I are not spiritually robbed. We know how to be in God's presence and ask for the power of healing ourselves. But if you must pray, surely you can do that in the comfort of your own house", I say.

"Senzangakhona! I didn't raise you to be so rude! Yini ngawe?!" My mom.

"You know Wandi is in here because of you, right?" Me.

"Because of me?!" My mom is instantly in defence mode.

"Yes. Because of you. How the hell did you even get into my house?!" I'm shouting at her now.

She's quiet.

"Well?!" Me.

"I have a key." She mumbles.

"Excuse me?!" Yoh, this woman is testing me.

"Why shouldn't I have a key to my son's house?! This girl just keeps taking you away from me. Julia wouldn't mind if she were your wife." The audacity. Has she no shame?!

"Give me the key!" I yell.

"Senzangakhona -

"Give me the key to my house right now!" I raise my voice.

She takes them out of her bag slowly and gives them to me with half a smile. She has a whole bunch of keys. She probably has keys to my bedrooms and toilets.

"How did you even get these?!" I ask her as I take them from her.

Now she looks away from me.

"Mah!" I snap.

"Senzi, come on." Julia.

"I AM NOT TALKING TO YOU!" I bark at Julia.

They can see that I'm angry now.

"I asked usisi that works in your house to make a plan for me", my mom.

"Wandi was right all along! She was right about you and she was right about that damn domestic worker that works in our house! How could I be so stupid?!" I'm actually in disbelief.

"Senzangakhona, Wandi just wants to isolate you from everything that you know. Why don't you see that?!" My mom.

"Really?!" Wandi's mom says as she enters the hospital ward.

I REALLY THOUGHT THAT VISITING HOURS WERE OVER!

My mom is instantly tense. There is something about Wandi's mom that really gets her shaky in a way that she never is around ANYONE. It fascinates me all the time.

"Kahle hle yin' inkinga yakho ngengane yami, wena?!" Wandi's mother can turn into such a thug sometimes. Even I'm scared of her.

"This is between my son and I." My mom.

"And apparently Julia. But the weird thing is that it's about Wandisa. And Wandisa is my child." Wandi's mom.

Silence.

"Of all the things I know you to be and always knew you would be, umamazala that is feared by omakoti is the last thing I'd attach to your name", Wandi's mom.

"Wandi is not right for my son", my mom says.

"And who is, mah? Julia?" Me.

Julia looks at me like I've hurt her feelings.

"Laura, Wandisa is my child. I may not have been around for most of her life, but I'm here now. And you WILL back off!" Wandi's mom says.

"When it comes to my son, I don't back off, Maphuthi." My mom.

"Well, you will have to. My child is off limits. Unless you want me to unleash a world of hell on you", Wandi's mom says this in a way that even sends shivers down my spine. My mom is shit scared.

"And Wandi will be reporting into my office at work. Not yours." Wandi's mom says.

"You don't get to make that call", my mom.

"I just did." Wandi's mom says.

The two women stare at each other. STARE!

"And wena skheberesh..." Wandi's mom says to Julia.

Julia clears her throat and looks at Wandi's mother.

"If I ever see you around my son-in-law ever again, or even smell your scent within a mile of him or my daughter, kuzonuk' unyoko! Uyangizwa?!"

This is very disturbing. Julia doesn't say anything. My mom is letting this happen. What does this woman have on my mother?!

Wandi's mom takes threatening steps towards Julia. Julia tries to step back but she bumps into Wandi's drip holder. She pauses - shit scared.

"Prison is no longer the worst place for me to be in. So don't test me. Uyangizwa?" Wandi's mom.

"Yes ma'am", Julia. She's so scared.

"Visiting hours are over." Wandi's mom says.

My mom and Julia SPRINT out of this ward.

Yerrr!

"Goodnight mkhwenyana. Please call me if there's any change", she says to me.

I nod my head.

She leaves.

I'm not okay.

I sit down on some couch.

Wandi opens her eyes.

I look at her.

"What a show!" Wandi says.

"You heard all that? And you didn't wake up to come to my rescue?" Me.

She starts laughing. I can't help but laugh too.

"My foot hurts so badly." She says.

"I'm sorry, baby. Should I get the nurse?" I ask her.

"Please. I really need just one shot of something strong", she says.

"Okay, I'll go get someone", I say.

"Senzi", her.

"Love?" I say as I walk to her.

"Thank you for protecting me and for loving me so much", she says.

I kiss her. I hug her. Something hints at my hand under her pillow.

"What's this?" I ask as I pull it out.

"Ini?" Wandi.

I hold it in my hand. It's a syringe with liquid in it.

"Senzangakhona", Wandi says and I hear the fear in her voice. I see the tears and fear in her eyes.

"I'll sort it out, baby. I'm going to sort this out." I say.

"Kanjani? These people have access to our house and you are away a lot of the time. They snuck that into the ward?! Senzi -

"Wandi, please baby. Calm down."

She's breathing heavily.

The nurse comes in. She was coming to check up on Wandi. I let her do her checks. Then I ask, "Sisi, we found this under Wandi's pillow. What is it?"

She looks at the syringe.

"Was there another nurse in here?" She asks me.

Just Julia.

"Not one that works in this hospital", I say.

"Let me go and have this tested. I'll come back with feedback", she says.

"I'd appreciate that. Thanks." Me.

She takes the syringe from me.

Wandi is seriously not okay.

[the-letter-horror-lover]

Ciel finished his cup of tea, set the cup down, and yawned. “Perhaps actually reading it and trying to make sense of things can wait until tomorrow? I'm starting to feel rather sleepy…”

“Both of you must be exhausted,” Katrina said. “It might not be a bad idea to turn in early and leave the letter for tomorrow after you've both gotten a decent night's rest.”

Stifling a yawn myself, I was inclined to agree with my young master and Katrina. “Why don't we ring for Tanaka to collect the dishes…”

Ciel was already reaching for the bell cord. “And after he takes care of that, he can assist me in bathing and preparing for bed.”

“In that case, perhaps Bard can assist me in heading back to my own quarters for the ni…”

“You're not going anywhere.”

“Young master?”

Ciel fixed that stubborn, I've-made-up-my-mind-and-that’s-that look on me. “Do I need to repeat myself? Make that an order?”

“But, my lord...it would hardly be appropriate for me - your butler - to sleep here…”

Crossing his arms and raising his left eyebrow, he said, “I hardly care about what's considered ‘appropriate’ right now. You're staying here with me tonight.”

We sat there for a moment, Ciel and I, silently staring at one another. Me, in a bit of shock, and Ciel with an ‘I dare you to challenge me’ look in his eyes. Finally, I sighed in resignation. “As you wish, young master.”

Tanaka arrived then, to collect the dishes. Ciel instructed him to return as soon as the kitchen clean-up was complete. “Sebastian still needs recovery time, so I'll require your assistance to prepare for bed,” he explained.

“Certainly, my lord. I will return as soon as possible,” Tanaka answered.

“Very good,” Ciel said. Tanaka left with the serving cart loaded with all the dinner things and quietly shut the door. Ciel looked over at Katrina. “Thank you for all you've done,” he said softly. “There's a very comfortable guest room just down the hall. I'll see to it that it's ready for you, if that will be satisfactory.”

“Thank you, Ciel. That will do just fine. I appreciate your hospitality and your kindness in seeing me this afternoon and listening to me.”

“It was the least I could do for an old friend of Sebastian's,” Ciel replied. He looked at me then. “Katrina has been looking for you for some time it seems. I am inclined to believe her arrival couldn't have had better timing, wouldn't you agree, Sebastian?”

“Yes. Fortuitous, indeed.” I responded.

“Your healing skills are extraordinary,” Ciel told Katrina. “Is it a natural ability, or did you have to study to gain them?”

“A bit of both, actually,” she answered.

“Well, I'm glad you were here. I don't want to even think about what might have happened...if you hadn't been…” Ciel's voice quivered slightly, and I could see tears gathering in his eyes again.

“Young master,” I said, touching his shoulder, “it's alright. I'm still here. Ciel sniffed and looked at me.

“I will never take your presence for granted, ever again,” he said softly. “I got so used to how invulnerable you seemed, and how you were always here when I needed you, that it never occurred to me the possibility of losing you existed. I rely on you, trust you, and depend on you for so much. It truly frightened me, that it was possible for you to die. Your presence is needed, wanted, and very much appreciated, Sebastian. I don't know what I would do without you…”

I gave Ciel's shoulder a gentle squeeze, trying to comfort him with my touch while I tried to come up with something to say in response. My young master was usually so reserved - bordering on aloof sometimes - and proud, not prone to expressing any emotions that could be perceived as vulnerability. Apparently what had happened to me had thoroughly shaken him. I was having difficulty comprehending how deeply it had affected him and why. Had he truly come to care about me? So much so that it upset him this badly? Why? And why was it affecting me so deeply as well? Reaching up to brush a tear from Ciel's face, I tried to put at least some of my feelings into words.

“All this, after you accidentally summoned me,” I teased gently. “Who would have guessed, then, that this is where we'd be now, three years later. I must admit to some confusion as to why my presence has come to mean so much to you, my lord, and to why it means so much to me that you feel that way. This has never happened with any of my previous Contracts.” I paused before continuing, trying to put my thoughts in order. “That, combined with...well...with what happened today, and the side effects…” I felt my throat constrict slightly and my eyes blur with unshed tears which I fought by blinking several times. “It's like I said earlier. I just need time to sort things. These thoughts and feelings are...confusing…”

“I think I understand,” Ciel said softly. “I was taken off guard by how it affected me, too, to be honest. I guess I thought that after all I'd been through nothing could get to me that way again. But it did, and I realised that...I would really miss you if you...if you weren't here anymore.”

Once again I was saved from attempting an awkward response by Tanaka’s timely arrival. Ciel answered his discreet tap on the door, telling him to come in. Tanaka was carrying a stack of fresh, clean towels for Ciel's bath. “I suppose you and Katrina can talk now - get caught up,” Ciel said to me. “Since you apparently haven't seen one another in a while.” I think he would have been a bit shocked at just how much of an understatement ‘a while’ was.

After Ciel and Tanaka left the room, Katrina reached over and gently took my left hand in both of hers, examining the Seal and tracing it with her thumbs. It suddenly occurred to me that this was possibly the first time she had seen one up close. She confirmed my suspicions when she spoke.

“I knew they were all different - that each of you was branded with a unique mark,” she said quietly. “I've often wondered what yours looked like. Morbid curiosity, I know…”

“Not really,” I reassured her. She looked up at me. I could feel them again, the memories, trying to push their way through the fogginess that obscured them.

“You haven't told him.”

“Ciel? Told him what?”

“He asked about your scars. You haven't told him what happened - how you became one of the Fallen - have you?” She paused, her eyes searching mine as if she could read something in them. “ How much do you remember? And how much have you blocked out?” The questions were asked gently, with so much concern. I swallowed and carefully considered my words before answering.

“Things from that far back are...hazy. I suppose that living the way Fallen do - surviving from Contract to Contract - makes us less prone to looking back and dwelling on the past. Between that, the length of time that has passed, and a certain amount of unwillingness to re-live painful memories, well…” I shrugged.

“I understand,” Katrina responded. “The real question here is, do you want to remember?”

Did I want to remember... really remember everything. Not just shadows and foggy dream-like images, but actual memories. No more ‘through the looking glass,’ but the real thing. Katrina's presence had started it already, gotten my damned curiosity going. I sighed. With what was going on with the cult leader and this other Fallen, I had to consider that anything in my past that might be helpful in dealing with them would be worth recalling.

And there was also Katrina. I found myself wanting to remember our connection to each other; needing to know why she had wanted to find me.

I looked at Katrina, sitting there patiently awaiting my answer. I knew the apprehension I was feeling was showing in my eyes. “I believe it may be necessary for me to, considering the situation…” Katrina gave me a slightly sad smile and squeezed my hand.

“I thought you'd say so. Your care and concern for your ‘young master’ run very deep.”

I shifted uncomfortably, her astute observation making me anxious. Those were feelings I had been suppressing and trying to understand myself for some time now. I was actually hoping that fully recalling my past might help clarify some things.

“What can you do to help?” I asked softly.

“All I can do is clear away the ‘fog’ obscuring the memories. Then they will come back into focus,” she explained, reaching up and touching my face, gently tucking my hair behind my ear. Even that action evoked feelings of familiarity and a closeness I couldn't deny. “They may not come back all at once, but when they're ready, or when they're needed. Or in dreams, even.”

‘Or nightmares,’ I thought, suppressing a shiver, ‘depending on the memory.’ I didn't voice that particular concern aloud. I forced myself to take a deep breath. “Go ahead, then,” I whispered. “Do whatever needs to be done.”

“You're certain?” Katrina asked softly. I nodded. “Alright, then. Close your eyes, breathe easy…” I did as she instructed, trying to relax. She squeezed my hand reassuringly and then, just like she did with Ciel, she took my face gently between her hands, except she tenderly caressed my cheekbones with her thumbs as she did so. The sensation was strangely familiar and soothing…

A warm, peaceful feeling, very much akin to what I felt when she healed me, spread through both my mind and my body. I was once again enveloped in a cocoon of tranquillity and compassion. For someone like myself, who hadn't experienced that level of peacefulness in so long, it was both wonderful and disconcerting at the same time. And nearly as soon as I began to get used to the feeling, it slowly faded away, leaving behind an unexpected yearning to feel...loved? I opened my eyes as Katrina lowered her hands from my face. She was watching me with concern.

“How do you feel?”

“I'm not sure yet...peaceful, but not entirely at ease, as if I'm waiting for something. Does that make any sense?”

Katrina nodded. “Yes, it does. Once your subconscious catches up - puts things in order so-to-speak - you'll feel more clear-headed, and your memories will flow freely again; no more fogginess and shadows. Does that frighten you?” She had taken my left hand in hers again, as if she was worried about me.

“I would be lying if I denied a certain amount of...anxiety,” I replied. “But I have Ciel close at hand tonight...insisting that I stay here. And you'll be right down the hall. I think I'll be fine.” What did frighten me was that it sounded as if I was trying to reassure myself that I would be alright, more so than convincing her. Perhaps I was just tired…

Ciel and Tanaka returned then, Ciel in a clean, white nightshirt. His hair was still slightly damp and I caught the faint scent of the sandalwood soap he liked so much as he came over and sat on the other side of the bed.

“I explained to Tanaka that you were staying here for the night,” Ciel said to me, “and about the letter in your coat pocket. He'll retrieve it for us to examine tomorrow. Also,” he said, turning to Katrina, “the guest room down the hall should be ready for you. Just ring for Mey-Rin if you need anything.”

“Thank you again for your gracious hospitality,” Katrina responded.

“It is I who owe you thanks,” Ciel told Katrina, “ for saving Sebastian's life and ridding me of the worst of the curse. I am in your debt…”

“It was the least I could do,” she answered softly, giving my hand a final squeeze as she stood to leave, “considering what he did - what he sacrificed - for me.”

“You must have been very good friends,” Ciel said. “That makes me even more glad you were here.”

“Me, too,” Katrina said. Her last cryptic remark had left me speechless for the moment. Something stirred in my mind, like a puzzle piece finally falling into place, or finding the right key to unlock a door. She felt she owed me for something. That was at least part of the reason she came looking for me…

The four of us bid each other good night and Tanaka closed the door behind himself and Katrina as they left. Ciel heaved an exhausted sigh as he slid his legs underneath the covers on his side of the bed. “I don't know about you,” he said, “but I am beyond tired.” Yawning, he extinguished the lamp on the nightstand next to him, which left the one next to me as the only light in the room besides the fireplace.

I reached over and gently tugged the blankets up over Ciel's shoulder as he laid down on his left side, facing me. After seeing to it that he was settled comfortably, I removed the extra pillow that I had been reclined on, placing it on the floor next to the bed on my side. Then I extinguished the lamp and turning to settle on my right side, laid down facing Ciel.

The storm had blown itself out, and the nearly full moon had broken through the clouds. By the time I had gotten comfortable, my young master's breathing had reached the slow, steady rhythm of peaceful sleep. Seeing him resting easy, his face the picture of innocent repose, helped put my mind at ease somewhat. I could feel my own eyelids growing heavy with weariness as I lay there, watching Ciel sleep in the soft radiance of the moon.

“May your dreams be untroubled, young master,” I whispered, as, unable to remain awake any longer, I too drifted off to sleep.

Chapter 3: Chapter 3 - His Butler, Remembering

Summary:

Sebastian faces a new challenge. Not a physical obstacle to be overcome, but one of the heart and mind. Also, he and Ciel get a clue as to the identity of the people behind the Phantomhive tragedy...

Chapter Text

Redemption: A Black Butler Story Chapter 3 - His Butler,Remembering

I have to wonder why it is that the most traumatic, painful memories seem to be the ones that make the deepest impact, and why those are the ones that come back first. It hardly seems fair, but as I am certain my young master would be quick to tell me, life isn't fair.

Of all the things that could have come back to me first, it had to be that day. Perhaps because it was fresh on my mind since Ciel had asked about the scars. Or perhaps because of Katrina's cryptic reference to my ‘sacrifice’ of something. But whatever the reason, my start down Memory Lane was a far from pleasant experience.

* * * * * *

The war was over. That much was certain. We had been systematically rounded up and locked in cells to await judgement.

I held no illusions about getting out of this situation unscathed. Despite the fact that it was largely due to my aid that the war had ended sooner rather than later and with fewer casualties on both sides - and less damage to Creation. I knew when I began down this path that coming back may not be an option. Even knowing that, I was woefully unprepared to deal with what was coming.

Footsteps approached my cell door, followed by a key turning in the lock. The door opened slowly. Heart pounding, I waited to see who it was.

“Danyael! What...what are you doing here?” My voice was an urgent whisper, and my knees shook as I stood to face him. He looked concerned.

“I have news...and...there will be new orders for you, Sebastian,” Danyael answered softly.

“New orders? But...it’s over . How can I have any further orders?” My confusion was obvious.

“Simeon fears there is a risk of resistance. That a group may reorganise and try again at a later date.”

I scoffed at the idea. “He's just being paranoid,” I snapped.

“Be that as it may, he wants you to maintain the façade. Keep bringing us information about their numbers, movements, whereabouts…”

“That's insane. They'll scatter to the four winds. No trust exists between them, largely thanks to yours truly, so why bother?”

“Precautionary measures. He feels it's necessary to keep an eye on things from the inside. You'll still report anything you find to me - there will be a prearranged meeting place.”

“I don't have a choice, do I?”

#Black butler fanfiction

[curry-and-casteliacones]

"So. Do you wish to tell me why I found you outside during such unsavory weather conditions?"

Ai looked down, unable to meet Ingo's piercing gaze. If he had one thing going for him it's that he had the perfect "i'm not mad, i'm just disappointed" face.

"Um... well. You said your schedule was free today, and so i promised you I would come visit."

Ingo let out a small sigh.

"Yes, but you should know better than to leave the station in unsafe conditions. Low visibility and the slipperiness of the ground make for a treacherous journey."

Ai stood up now from her position on the ground, rushing to explain herself. "But I promised I would come and I really wanted to see you and what if you thought i wasn't reliable because i said i would do something and i didn't an-"

"Ai, why would i ever think less of you because of such a thing? I enjoy your company and I don't base your worth on your willingness to do something like that. I would never want you to get hurt, no matter the circumstances. So why would you assume that?"

"..."

"Ai, do i need to repeat the question?"

"..."

Ai mumbled something Ingo couldn't quite hear and hung her head down low.

"I will have to request that you speak up."

"Because.... because... because of Kamado....."

Ingo stood there in quiet contemplation. He had assumed it may be because of the Galaxy Team's pressure, but to actually have it confirmed was different.

Ai continued, unable to stop now that she had began, "He always wants me to do more and more dangerous things, saying how i need to prove myself to those in Jubilife and the clans. But it seems like most people have warmed up to me by now. It seems like.... It seems like he's the only one who still needs proof. But i want him to like me. Because- I don't really know why maybe it's just because h's in charge and he's letting me stay there or maybe it's something else..."

Ingo came and stood next to her, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Ai, everyone already knows how much good you've done for them. How many people in Jubilife have you helped learn more about pokemon or with day to day tasks?"

"I don't know, maybe a couple?"

"Ai, every time we pass by someone in Jubilife they stop to thank you for something. I'd say that's more than a couple."

"I guess you're right." She started to smile, slightly embarrassed.

"So it would appear that you already have acquired most of what you seek. If Kamado is the only one who can't see that than maybe he is the issue?"

"You're probably right. But i still want to help out, so it's not like i'm going to stop doing what he asks."

Ingo thought about how much danger Ai was in for a minute. And maybe it was selfish but he wondered if it would be better if she just stopped helping. She could join pearl clan perhaps, or even the Ginkgo Guild. Yes, Jubilife and probably all of Hisui would suffer without her doing what she did. But at least she would be safe. He dismissed that particular line of thinking pretty fast, after all it was an impractical solution that Ai would never agree to.

"Regardless of why you came, you are here now. So, would you like to help me prepare dinner? It seems like the storm isn't going to let up any time soon so you will be staying until it's safe to travel again."

Ai laughed, "Your so overprotective, you may as well be my dad or something!" But deep down she was glad he cared. It didn't seem like a lot people did these days. Even the villagers who she had helped so much didn't really value her as a person, just for what she could do for them.

Ingo was a little shocked by the statement, even if he clearly knew she was joking. It warmed his heart to consider them like family. "Well then, if i'm old enough to be your dad than it must mean you are quite young after all!"

"What! No! You're just like... waayyyy old. Do you not have mirrors in here to see what you look like?" Ai giggled and finally set her bag down.

"I assure you, young lady, that I'm really not as old as you take me for, now are you going to help or not?"

"I will, old man. Just let me settle in first." She threw her scarf and hat on the table and took her shoes off.

"Well hurry up or i may just die of old age."

The two laughed and moved to where Ingo kept his food. They decided on a stew for dinner. The two ate and then settled in. Ai lay on the floor and Ingo sat next to her. The two talked long into the night. Eventually Ingo noticed a faint snoring sound and discovered Ai had fallen asleep.

He carried her to his bed and brought out an extra futon for himself.

He went and cleaned up their dishes and was in the middle of dousing most of the lanterns when he came across Ai's scarf and hat, haphazardly flung onto the table. He neatly folded the scarf and sat the hat on top of it.

Author here: Wowowowow i actually wrote something?? I haven't done that in months so i'm a little rusty. (Well that, and there's the fact that i was never super great to begin with!) But i hope with time i start to get better. So for now have this random nonsense

#ingo #warden ingo #nimbasa family #oc: ai #pokemon oc #pokemon #fanfiction #writing #fanfic

[thebluelemontree]

This is the last thing I am going to say about Cleganebowl just to get everything out of my system so I can hopefully start to get that imagery out of my head.

The last time I remember being that shaken and disturbed by a scene in GoT was the Sansa rape and hearing the appalling justifications for it.  It wasn’t just tragic.  Tragedy can be an appropriate and satisfying ending.  This was a gross spectacle of a beloved character getting destroyed one last time by his abuser while we’re forced to watch him desperately flailing against it.  Worse... it was basically written as Sandor’s suicide.  It’s repeated over and over that this is about Sandor finally getting revenge.  What we aren’t reminded of is that Sandor is a survivor of extreme child abuse and attempted murder.  His PTSD seems to be nothing more than a character quirk or a plot device, rather than a serious psychological illness. 

 After all his character growth and development of positive emotional attachments, his story ended with still feeling like he had nothing else to live for?  What does this say about deeply traumatized people and abuse survivors?  You’re too fucked up to find any happiness or normalcy in life so you might as well off yourself either directly or indirectly with self-destructive behavior?  And it was framed as a gladiatorial event for the GA to cheer for, but what we got was a one-sided beatdown of perverse cruelty.  That is beyond the pale of offensive.  Yes, it amounted to suicide.  Maybe not intentionally, because D&D were definitely all out of fucks to give and wanted to get to the Cleganebowl FUCK YEAH!  Or if they were aware, that clearly didn’t matter.  Sandor left and did not plan on ever coming back.  His final scene with Arya confirmed, despite his self-awareness of the futility and misery this pursuit had brought him, he chose death.  They made Sandor speak of revenge making him happy even if it kills him.  What they telegraphed is that Sandor has a death wish and suicide (by proxy in this case) was the only way to end his pain. <== this is what guts me and enrages me even more than seeing the brutal violence.  This vile message presented as entertainment and something we should congratulate the writers for by giving him such a “poetic” end.  

Make no mistake.  What was shown was an abuse victim was too fucked up to ever be normal or happy, and death was better FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT.  The idea that Sandor had no other choice or no other possible completion of his character arc (including variations of him facing his brother and dying) is a lie from the pit of hell.  It was set up and choreographed that way because showcasing Gregor’s inhuman strength and sadism was given priority over how it portrays an abuse victim.  I swear to God as if I didn’t have enough reasons already, but I will never forgive those bastards for deciding his growth and emotional attachments are not nearly dramatically satisfying enough that they made him choose a needless final act of self-destruction.                      

#anti got #anti cleganebowl #got negativity #sandor clegane #the hound #got spoilers #got season 8 episode 5 #suicide tw #rape tw #child abuse tw #this is the last thing I'm going to say about it #so I can get it fully off my chest and try to move on #I have not been this deeply affected by fiction in a long time #I'm shocked at how much it did considering I had already prepared myself for a bad ending #what I didn't count on is that it would actually be worse than we ever imagined #fuck you d&d

[charliedawn]

How would the slashers celebrate Christmas?

"Rise and shine, pumpkin pie !"

You are woken up with a bucket of cold water that makes you stand up straight in a second. You're gasping for air and wait for your heart to slow down before looking at the one and only Amita Williams.

" Are you crazy ?! What are you doing here Amita ?!"

She only laughs loudly before dragging you out of bed.

" Well..since I haven't heard any news from you in months, I decided to come and check up on you myself. But, honestly darling, what happened ?! And where is that lowlife bastard that you call a boyfriend ?!"

You groan heavily at the mention of H/N before pouring yourself a cup of coffee.

" Gone..We broke up."

At the news, Amita's eyes brighten up and she nearly squeals in delight.

" Wait..Does that mean you're back in the single club ?! Congrats ! I knew you could do it !"

She exaggerates with wrapping her arms around your neck a little too tight. You sigh before affectionately placing your hand upon her arm and chuckling.

" I can't believe that it's been months already..Sorry. I haven't had any time for myself these days..My work and all."

She faces you with a huge grin that makes you wonder what she's planning now..

" Well, considering that your work seems to be more important than your best friend, I've decided to bring the best friend to work ! Surprise ! I'm gonna work at St Louis as a cook !"

Your eyes widen even more as you struggle to find words to match your emotions. You are happy to see Amita of course, but she could be..let's say "eccentric and loud". You can't be sure how the slashers will react when they meet her.

" I don't know Amita..Some of the slashers tend to be very attached to their regime. One wrong ingredient, and you may become the meal itself. Are you sure of yourself ?"

You inquire worriedly and she only dismisses your concern with a wave of her hand.

" Nonsense ! No one can resist my cooking ! That it'd be the common folk or psychopaths ! I'm sure. Plus, I came just at the right time it seems. Christmas is today after all ! And what better way to get acquainted than a merry Christmas dinner !"

You want to protest, but quickly close your mouth when you find the idea not to be so bad. You finally sigh and nod before getting out of the kitchen to get ready.

" Actually..You're right."

She grins in delight at your admission.

" Oh sugar plum, I'm always right."

She winks at you cheekily while raising her drink.

You frown at the alcoholic beverage and sigh again.

" Whiskey ? At 6 am ? Really ?"

She chuckles before taking a sip.

" You know me darling, there's never a bad time for quality.."

At St Louis :

It is a normal day for the slashers that wake up to the sound of merry Christmas carols and the smell of hot cocoa brewing in nearby houses..It is a normal day for everyone, except Michael.

Michael hears his alarm clock and can't help but smash it under his fist. The dreaded day has arrived..He gets up and grinds his teeths together in frustration at the songs being sang outside. He hates Christmas. He hates it as much as he hates the world for enjoying it so much. He remembers the smile of his wife and the laughter of the children running around the table filled with mouth-watering goods..but he also remembers the screams, the terror, death..He especially remembers death. It's even worse when he sees the other slashers playing carelessly in the snow outside and the Christmas decorations in the living room. He wants to rip it all to shreds, to stamp on the Christmas tree and make everyone see his pain..but he doesn't. Even if he did, they wouldn't understand..He walks to the kitchen to drink his morning coffee when he freezes, seeing an unfamiliar face preparing, what appears to be, chocolate pudding. The stranger doesn't seem to notice him at first, but then speaks with her back turned.

" Are you going to stand up here all morning or are you going to come help me ?"

He's so shocked by the bluntness of the woman that he doesn't even think about disobeying her. He steps up and proceeds in cooking the Christmas turkey. Surprisingly, he seems to have remembered all of his Christmas cooking skills as it doesn't really take him much effort to help in the preparation of the meal. You are playing with the slashers outside and finally get back to the living room. You had asked a few of the employees to decorate with you and Amita. However, there is something new. The table is covered by food that looks so tasty that it even makes the two cannibals present drool.

Even Jason seems speechless as his eyes lighten up to the sight of so many colorful decorations and Penny takes a long snif of the food before scrunching his nose at the lack of fresh meat. However, Amita comes out of the kitchen with a full bowl of beef tartar and both Penny and Pennywise jump on it as soon as it is on the table. The other slashers seem to be a bit more reluctant as they stare at Amita with wariness.

" Guys, this is the new cook: Amita. My best friend and the one who gave me the idea for all this."

Even with your explanation, the slashers don't seem reassured. But, they are quickly distracted by Michael that gets out of the kitchen with a pink apron and matching pink oven mitts to boot. They seem to relax and Freddy even cracks a joke.

" Well..If it isn't housewife Michael herself ?!"

To which Michael responds with his middle finger, not bothering to give any more attention to the little devil.

You then notice the mistletoe hanging above Freddy's head and snicker as you see who is next to him.

" Guess what you are standing under, boys ?"

They both look up and Freddy freezes when he recognizes the plant while Pennywise frowns in incomprehension.

" What are you talking about ?"

You only smile mischievously at Freddy that understands and sighs loudly before winking playfully at you.

" After Penny, you want me to get both brothers ? Kinky..I like it."

Pennywise seems to find the answer in Freddy's eyes and gets up just as Freddy wanted to grab his arm.

" Ahahaha ! Not happening."

He steps outside and Freddy follows with a smirk.

" Come here Pennywise ! It was only a matter of time before you finally understood your undying feelings for me !"

Pennywise shrieks in disgust before taking a handful of snow and using it to get away by smudging it all over Freddy's lips.

" I would rather kiss a dying corpse ! Not that it's that much better from your crispy burned a** !"

You whistle and they finally look up at you with widened eyes.

" Okay, boys ! Let's eat. I won't force you to kiss, I promise."

You can't help but giggle as they race to get back inside. When you're all inside, you see Five already digging in a bowl of peanuts.

You sit next to him and Kevin that smiles rather nicely at you..Strange, but not unwelcomed. You take a big breath before proposing.

" How about we start again, Kevin ? I would love for us to be friends."

However, his smile seems to falter as he answers you negatively.

" I'm sorry..but no. I won't let you make me weak.."

You sigh before putting your hand on his shoulder and look at him straight in his eyes.

" Can't you see ? It doesn't make you weak..It makes you stronger."

He smiles bitterly at your words, almost wishful even.

" I wish I could believe you.."

You smile back before insisting.

" And one day, you will..I promise you."

You stare at each other for a few seconds before returning to the feast. You're happy to see Amita even managing small talk with Freddy and Pennywise. However, Penny notices the presents under the Christmas tree and squeals in excitement.

" Gifts !"

He runs towards them and checks if there is one with his name on it. He finally finds it and grins so widely that you wonder for a moment if his jaw is even attached to the rest of his skull anymore. But, you give him a nod of agreement to open the gift. His eyes shine when he opens the box.

" Popcorn ! I love popcorn !"

All of the other slashers sigh in defeat and those who can talk all say.

" We know."

Soon after, all the slashers open their gifts to find their favorite treat in them. Even Five smiles somehow happily as he sees the content of his gift : dark chocolate and coffee truffles. But, they all seem troubled or embarrassed about something.

" We..We didn't bring you anything.."

Brahms points out what all of them are thinking with his eyes cast downwards in shame. But, your reaction surprises them as you laugh lightly.

" That's what you're worried about ?! This day is about you, all of you. It's not about me. It was a last moment thing. I didn't expect you to give me anything. Your presence is enough."

Freddy seems about to burst and finally snaps.

" Fine ! F*ck it ! I'm tired of us being the only ones having a good time ! That's my gift. Take it or slap me, I still have to do it !"

Freddy takes a branch of mistletoe and raises it above both of your heads before kissing you on the cheek. Your eyes widen, but you don't slap Freddy. You only look up at him and smile affectionately.

" Thank you, Freddy.."

Your genuine thanks makes Freddy blush and hide his face in his fedora as he mumbles.

" You're welcome.."

The slashers, inspired by Freddy's gesture, decide to do the same. Soon, it's Michael's turn and to everyone's shock, he gets his mask off to kiss your cheek. When he stands back, he smiles at you and whispers for only you to hear :

" Merry Christmas.."

Maybe, Christmas isn't so bad after all ? Michael thinks before sitting back down.

Bonus : their reaction to the kiss afterwards :

Michael : *blushes intensely while staring into the beyond..*

Five : *sigh* " Why did I do that again ?"

Jason : *smiles happily to himself with some chocolate pudding on his face*

Brahms : * blush intensifies when he truly realizes what he's done* "K..Kiss ?"

Freddy : "Hell nah ! Come here ! I'm ready for a kiss on the lips this time !" *proceeds to chase after you, hanging a mistletoe over his head*

Pennywise : *blushes slightly and turns his gaze away in embarrassment and stays silent*

Penny : *doesn't even realize, just munches happily on his popcorn*

Joker : *smiles before looking at the bag of peppermint candy in his hands* "Sweet girl.." He murmurs to himself.

Kevin : The Beast : *looks at the bowl of blueberry muffins before sniffing it carefully and taking a tentative bite. He moans in delight before devouring his. You had been careful to make one for each personality and he smiles at the thoughtful gesture.* " Clever girl.." He murmurs in a low baritone voice and chuckles darkly before letting the other personalities enjoy their individual muffin.

#fandoms #imagine #fanfic #pennywise 1990 #pennywise 1990 x y/n x pennywise 2017 #pennywise 2017 #pennywise x reader #brahms heelsire x reader #jason voorhees x reader #michael myers x reader #freddy krueger x reader #number five x reader #the joker x reader #arthur fleck #kevin wendell crumb x reader

[cherry-gemz]

Only You: Ransom Drysdale x You

Summary: You and Ransom are an unlikely pair: different social classes, different personalities. But you find yourself together, but after an eventful evening, will it last?

Pairings: Ransom Drysdale x F!Reader

Word count: 1.7k

Warnings: 18+, mention of smut, slight dom!/sub!, tw violence, anger, roleplaying

A/N: My entry for @the-ce-horniest-book-club drabbles. This is meant to be silly roleplay. Just what the reader and Ransom do to spicy things up. I do not condone violence or any aggressive behavior. Everyone has consent. Under 18 DNI, pls.

Prompt: "I can't believe you're ending it over something so ridiculous!"

"I can't believe you're ending it over something so ridiculous!"

"It's not ridiculous. I saw it with my own eyes."

"You're crazy!"

"You better believe it, doll, but I'm not stupid. I know when two people have slept together."

"Ran, you need to get your eyes checked!" You spat and threw your drink at his face. The rest of the restaurant viewed the lover's spat and couldn't look away.

He wiped the drink from his face and shook the excess off from his hand. A devilish smirk appeared and then his face remained still.

Maybe I went too far, you thought. He's going to kill me.

***

Ransom Drysdale. His name was well known in the tri-state area: prolific playboy, a different woman on his arm every week. The only child of Richard Drysdale and Linda Thrombey, and grandson of Harlan Thrombey, a successful writer and mystery novelist extraordinaire. His arrogance and charisma originally turned you off though.

As the New England Club tennis instructor, you found yourself loathing the bratty socialite at first. His extreme good looks and physique were of course delicious to look at, but when he started up lessons with you, you nearly quit. He was a cocky son-of-a-bitch. Never much for small talk on the court.

The Thrombey's in general were self pretentious jerks; leeching off the renowned writer that started his publishing company from the ground up. Not quite old money, but definitely not new. No, the Thromby's were definitely fat cats when talking of wealth and status, but underneath all the designer clothing and flashy cars were hypocritical jerks and wankers. They weren't the self made millionaires as they proclaimed. No, Daddy Thrombey had every part in their success. Without his help, they'd be a fisherman's family.

But Ransom, oh Ransom. You were abhorrently disgusted at how he talked to the staff at the club. Shouting at the waiters when they got his whiskey or scotch order incorrect. Tossing plates at the hostess when his steak wasn't prepared to his likening. Even the pro shop boys were afraid of him that one time he went all Mcintyre on his newly strung racket.

But with you he was different. No, with you he was charming, polite...sweet even. Which made you weary even more of his intentions. He hadn't half bad at the game either, you thoroughly enjoyed playing a match with him. He took a lot of his aggression and stress out on the court and it was fun being competitive.

Eventually he asked you out for a drink, after two times of declining you accepted...mainly because you were curious of how a lazy, spoiled, man-child that was pushing early thirties, could still be so damn attractive.

So that date became two...those two dates became a month. And before you knew it, you were together six months and shocked that he was still entertained. The girls at the front desk were always flirting with him, but ever since you two were dating, he only had eyes for you.

And you for him. Until one night at a local restaurant, where while you waited for him to arrive, you sat at the bar nursing your dry martini. The man that Ransom accused you of sleeping with was attractive. A bit older than what you'd dated in the past, but attractive nonetheless.

"Here alone?" His voice was like butter as he pulled the stool next to you. You crossed your legs and flashed a thigh, your elongated stems were velvety and smooth from a wax appointment earlier that morning. You bit into the green olive and pulled it slowly off the wooden pick, your lips pursed and enticing, stained with a bordeaux wine color.

"Not exactly," you purred as you looked him up and down. His trim physique and armani suit was to be impressed by.

"Well, if you were my date I would never leave your side," he replied as he motioned to the bartender.

You leaned over the bar, pushing your chest up, giving ample viewing.

"Is that right?"

"Indeed. Why, I would kiss the ground you walk on, you're Aphrodite in the flesh."

You smile and giggle at the attention you receive. Unaware that Ransom had arrived and was watching the two of you from afar. The man slinked his hand on your thigh and you startle.

"I have a hotel room not too far from here, what do you say?"

You chest began to burn at the touch of his rough hands. Hands you were not used to. Why, the ones that would caress you down were soft, strong, and lean. Ones that never worked a day in their life.

You grab his hand and twist his wrist and unrelent. Gritting a smile through your teeth, you whisper in the intruder's ear.

"I say, if you lay another finger on me, you'll be peeing through a catheter for a week."

The man whimpered as you released your grip. Ransom barged between you two and decked him square in the jaw.

"You asshole!" He shouted as some patrons screamed. "Don't touch her."

Your intruder fell flat to the ground and everyone stared.

"C'mon, Y/N," Ransom's voice bellowed.

"I'm not done with my drink," you jest.

"I'll buy you a million more elsewhere, let's go."

The man got up slowly and rubbed his jaw, he started to yell obscenities, but security arrived and whisks him away.

"Did you know that guy?" He demanded. His east coast accent always came out thicker when he raised his voice.

You cooly take a sip of your drink, "What? Of course not."

"Yous looked like you did."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means, I'm not here for like five seconds and you already have a guy drooling over you. You let him touch you, Y/N!"

"I didn't let him do anything," you pull your compact out of your clutch and fix the crease of your eyelid makeup and brush it with your finger. You snap your compact shut and you can feel Ransom's temper build. His blood boiling, the nerve of that man. Touching you. Thinking that he could satisfy you. It got you hot that Ransom was jealous.

"Well what did you say to him? I saw you whisper in his ear!"

"I just warned him to not touch me again. I can handle myself Ran."

"You've been sleeping with him."

"That's rich, Ransom."

"Tell me I'm wrong."

You look at him dead straight in the eye, "You're wrong." His chest puffed, his cheeks red. He was showing a different side of him.

"Ransom doesn't like to share," you smirk and he slips his hand behind the small of your back.

"I won't ask again, Y/N. Let's go."

You sit up from the stool, "That was you asking?"

"You know what, Y/N…"

"What?"

"We're over."

Your heart drops to your stomach and you want to puke. We're over? Why? Because of some dumb misunderstanding? Is he serious?

"I can't believe you're ending it over something so ridiculous!"

"It's not ridiculous. I saw it with my own eyes."

"You're crazy!"

"You better believe it, doll, but I'm not stupid. I know when two people have slept together."

"Ran, you need to get your eyes checked!" You spat and threw your drink at his face. The rest of the restaurant viewed the lover's spat and couldn't look away.

He wiped the drink from his face and shook the excess off from his hand. You storm out of the restaurant with him quickly behind you. Your heels pound on the cement as you turn the corner around the dark building. The sound of the harbor waves and the rocking of the boats can be heard from a distance.

"Y/N."

You continue to stride along the brick wall, the moon shone above the inked sky.

"Y/N!" He repeated as he grasped you by the hips. You peered into his blue eyes and searched for answers. He stared intently into yours and didn't say anything. Within seconds, he smashed his lips onto yours, smearing the once perfectly colored lips. His hands cupped your face with a strong hold and you grabbed his dress shirt collar and pressed your body into his.

His hands roam up and down your silhouette, then they find themselves on your globes and he clutches your ass.

He grunts through the kiss as you sigh seductively. He peppers his kisses down your cheek to your neck and sucks on your chest, leaving a mark.

"Ran…" you say breathlessly as his left hand trails up your thigh.

"You are mine…" he coos as you nod.

"Yes, baby…"

"He had no right to touch you."

"No, it was bad. You taught him a lesson."

"You've been bad, it's your turn for a lesson," he whispers in your ear as he inserts his tongue and runs it along your lobe. Chills rub up and down your body and you build a pool between your legs.

"So bad…" you tease.

"Y/N…" he says as you grasp his excitement through his trousers.

"Did you mean it?"

"Mean what baby?" He asks as he slips a digit beneath your panties.

"That we're over," you squeak as you close your eyes and he continues to pleasure you.

"Yes…" he ramps up his ministrations and you grab his wrist, unhappy with his answer. He smiles devilishly.

"Ransom!"

He stops, but doesn't leave his hand from your folds. He looks earnestly in your eyes, even though the unlit side of the restaurant, you can tell he's exposed and being real.

"In ways that I'm done hiding, baby. No more. I want you to be my girl, I want to tell everyone."

This is the Ransom that you know, not the man who hated his family and has never had a nice thing said about him. No, he's a complicated one, but he's yours.

"W-what?" You choke. You had been on the down low all these months considering you were his tennis instructor. You'd be fired for breaching the conflict of interest with a client, and you weren rich like him. The strutiny you'd receive from his family, from the town. All eyes would be on you. He cups your cheek with his free hand.

"Move in with me, baby. I'm crazy about you. I don't want anyone else. You're it, doll."

"Ran…"

"What do you say?" He asks as he starts to pleasure you once again and stifle a giggle.

"You are nuts," you reply as you see stars.

"Fine. But next time I choose the roleplaying, tonight got out of hand," you say and shove him playfully.

"Sure thing, baby. Whatever you say."

#chris evans #ransom drysdale fanfiction #ransom drysdale x reader #hugh ransom drysdale #ransom thrombey x you #chris evans fanfic #smut #roleplaying #the ce hbc

[ouyangzizhensdad]

I just saw a post saying nhs has an inferiority complex and I'm?? Confused?? I always thought he was fine with being weaker in terms of cultivation, maybe I missed something

Hi anon,

I have to say, I struggle as well to figure out where people are getting this from the text. I think, oftentimes, people don't actually pay attention to what the text provides us in terms of characterisation as a whole, but take elements of what makes the character or which happens to them and simply extrapolate how they themselves would feel in that situation as a means of understanding the character. I can easily imagine how a reader would think: wow, if I had low cultivation in a world that values it (and within a clan that values strength even more so!) and a brother who was not only super strong and admired but who wanted me to fit into that role, and then found myself having to fill his shoes after his sudden death, I'd feel some sort of inferiority complex. I think that's the same reason you see so much people insisting WWX has self-esteem issues.

The thing about NHS is that, as a youth, we never saw him value high cultivation or "academic" achievements (not sure how to otherwise call his time at CR but there is probably a better word for it) or brute strength. He's afraid of consequences from his brother for failing at the CR, as we see here:

Although the brothers were not born from the same mother, their relationship was quite solid. Nie Mingjue had always taught his younger brother with extreme harshness, particularly caring for his studies. This was why, even though Nie Huaisang respected his older brother, he was the most scared of Nie Mingjue mentioning his schoolwork.

and here:

Although he didn’t understand a single bit as he listened in class, Nie Huaisang worked as hard as a slave when the date of the test approached. He copied Virtue two times for Wei Wuxian, and begged before the test, “Please, Wei-xiong, if my grade is lower than yi, my brother would really break my legs! Stuff like telling apart direct lineage, collateral lineage, main clan, clan branches… For us disciples from big clans, we can’t even distinguish our relationships with our own relatives, randomly calling everyone who are more than two tiers away from us aunts and uncles. Does anyone have enough capacity in their brain to remember those of other clans?!”

After thinking for a few moments, an expression of envy and yearning appeared on Nie Huaisang’s face, “To be honest, Wei-xiong’s words were quite interesting. Spiritual energy can only be obtained through cultivation and taking great pains to form a golden core (金丹). It would take I-don’t-know-how-many years to do, especially for someone like me, whose talent seems as if it was gnawed by a dog when I was in my mother’s womb. But, resentful energy are from the fierce ghosts. If they can easily be taken and used, it would be beyond wonderful.”

[...] . If disciple from a prominent clan forms the core at a later age, it would be a disgrace to tell other people of it, yet Nie Huaisang didn’t feel ashamed at all. Wei Wuxian also laughed, “I know, right? No harm comes from using it.”

The only moment that I can find that could tangentially be used to suggest that NHS has an inferiority complex could be this one, where NHS wants to avoid LXC's questioning about how his studies are going (and WWX picking up on his cues like a good friend to redirect the conversation). However, when you consider the whole context of the scene, it’s not because NHS feels self-conscious but because he’s afraid LXC is going to report to his brother that he’s not working hard at his studies:

Lan Xichen turned to him, “Huaisang, a while ago, as I returned from Qinghe, your brother asked of your studies. How is it? This year, will you be able to pass?”

Nie Huaisang replied, “Generally speaking, yes…” He seemed like a wilted cucumber, looking at Wei Wuxian in a helpless way. Wei Wuxian grinned, “Zewu-Jun, what are you two going out for?”

[...] Nie Huaisang also wanted to join in, but he had been reminded of his older brother as he met Lan Xichen. Cringing silently, he didn’t dare to have fun, “I’ll pass and go back so that I can review…” With this act, he hoped that Lan Xichen would put in some good words for him to his brother.

NHS seems very industrious at finding ways not to have to do anything that relates to cultivation or to leading a sect, and that is linked once more to the fact that he does not want to do these things (so not a case where we could say he’s self-sabotaging because he fears failure):

Lan Xichen took Nie Huaisang’s saber into his qiankun sleeve, “Huaisang has been using the excuse that he left his saber at home. Now he will have no excuses for lazing around.”

or here

“Nie Huaisang!”

Nie Huaisang fell at once.

He really did fall to his knees from the terror. He only staggered up after he finished kneeling, “D-d-d-da-ge.”

Nie Mingjue, “Where is your saber?”

Nie Huaisang cowered, “In… in my room. No, in the school grounds. No, let me… think…”

Wei Wuxian could feel that Nie Mingjue almost wanted to hack him dead right there, “You bring a dozen fans with you wherever you go, yet you don’t even know where your own saber is?!”

Nie Huaisang hurried, “I’ll go find it right now!”

[...]

In a hurry, Nie Huaisang dropped a few fans on the ground. Jin Guangyao picked them up for him and put them into his arms, “Huaisang’s hobbies are quite elegant. He’s dedicated to art and calligraphy, and has no propensity for mischief. How can you say that they’re useless?”

Nie Huaisang nodded as fast as he could, “Yes, Brother is right!”

Nie Mingjue, “But sect leaders have no need for such things.”

Nie Huaisang, “I’m not going to be a sect leader, though. You can be it, Da-ge. I’m not doing it!”

or here

Nie Mingjue was on the school ground, teaching and supervising Nie Huaisang’s saberwork in person. He did not acknowledge Jin Guangyao, so he stood at the edge of the field, waiting with respect. Since Nie Huaisang was quite uninterested and the sun was bright, he was rather half-hearted, complaining that he was tired after just a few moves. He beamed as he got ready to go to Jin Guangyao and see what presents he brought this time. In the past, Nie Mingjue would only frown at such things, but today he was angered, “Nie Huaisang, do you want this strike to land on your head?! Get back here!”

If only Nie Huaisang were like Wei Wuxian and could feel how great Nie Mingjue’s rage was, he wouldn’t grin in such a bold way. He protested, “Da-ge, the time is up. It’s time to rest!”

Nie Mingjue, “You rested just thirty minutes ago. Keep on going, until you learn it.”

Nie Huaisang was still giddy, “I won’t be able to learn it anyways. I’m done for the day!”

He often said this, but today Nie Mingjue’s reaction was entirely different from his past reaction. He shouted, “A pig would’ve learnt this by now, so why haven’t you?!”

Never expecting Nie Mingjue to burst out so suddenly, Nie Huaisang’s face was blank with shock as he shrunk toward Jin Guangyao. Seeing the two together, Nie Mingjue was even more provoked, “It’s been one year already and you still haven’t learnt this one set of saber techniques. You stand on the field for just thirty minutes and you’re complaining that you’re tired. You don’t have to excel, but you can’t even protect yourself! How did the QingheNie Sect produce such a good-for-nothing! The both of you should be tied up and beaten once every day. Carry out all those things in his room!”

The last sentence was spoken to the disciples standing by the side of the field. Seeing that they had gone, Nie Huaisang felt as though he was on pins and needles. A moment later, the row of disciples really did bring out all the fans, paintings, porcelain from his room. Nie Mingjue had always threatened to burn his room, but he had never actually burned them. This time, though, he was serious. Nie Huaisang panicked. He threw himself over, “Da-ge! You can’t burn them!”

Noticing that the situation wasn’t good, Jin Guangyao also spoke, “Da-ge, don’t act on impulse.”

Yet, Nie Mingjue’s saber had already striked. All of the delicate objects piled at the center of the field erupted in roaring flames. Nie Huaisang wailed and plunged into the fire to save them. Jin Guangyao hurried to pull him back, “Huaisang, be careful!”

With a sweep of Nie Mingjue’s hand, the two blanc de chine antiques shattered into pieces in his palms. The scrolls and paintings had already turned into dust in a split second. Nie Huaisang could only watch blankly as the much loved items that he had gathered throughout the years vanish into ashes. Jin Guangyao grabbed his hands to examine them, “Are they burnt?”

He turned to a few disciples, “Please prepare some medicine first.”

The disciples answered and left. Nie Huaisang stood at the same place, his entire body trembling as he looked over at Nie Mingjue, pupil encircled by veins. Seeing that his expression wasn’t right, Jin Guangyao put his arm around his shoulders and whispered, “Huaisang, how are you feeling? Stop watching. Go back to your room and have some rest.”

Nie Huaisang’s eyes brimmed red. He didn’t even make a sound. Jin Guangyao added, “It’s alright even if the things are gone. Next time I can find you more…”

Nie Mingjue interrupted, his words like ice, “I’ll burn them each time he brings them back into this sect.”

Anger and hatred suddenly flashed across Nie Huaisang’s face. He threw his saber onto the ground and yelled, “Then burn them!!!”

Jin Guangyao quickly stopped him, “Huaisang! Your brother is still angry. Don’t…”

Nie Huaisang roared at Nie Mingjue, “Saber, saber, saber! Who the fuck wants to practice the damn thing?! So what if I want to be a good-for-nothing?! Whoever that wants to can be the sect leader! I can’t learn it means I can’t learn it and I don’t like it means I don’t like it! What’s the use of forcing me?!”

I'm not saying he didn't have a hard time during the first moment of him taking over a leadership role in the sect after the sudden death of his brother (ultimately we can wonder whether the yiwensanbuzhi persona originated then, as he could have felt overwhelmed and actually didn't have the answers needed for the position he didn't prepare for--or whether it was always a pure fabrication to serve his goals), but I don't think we can chalk it up to an inferiority complex.

In the past, Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang studied together, so there were a few things he could comment about this person. Nie Huaisang wasn’t an unkind person. It wasn’t that he was not clever, but that his heart was set somewhere else and used his smarts on other areas, such as painting on fans, searching for birds, skipping classes, and catching fish. Because his talent in terms of cultivation really was poor, he formed his core around eight or nine years later than the other disciples of the same generation as him. When he lived, Nie Mingjue was often exasperated by the fact that his brother didn’t meet his expectations, so he disciplined him strictly. Despite this, he still didn’t improve much. Now, without his older brother protecting and supervising him, under his lead, the QingheNie Sect declined day by day. After he grew up, especially after he became the sect leader, he was often troubled by all kinds of affairs unfamiliar to him and looked for helpers everywhere, mainly his brother’s two sworn brothers. One day he’d go to Jinling Tower to complain to Jin Guangyao, and the next day he’d go to the Cloud Recesses to whine to Lan Xichen. With the two leaders of the Jin and Lan Sects supporting him, he still barely managed to settle on the sect leader position. Nowadays, whenever people mentioned Nie Huaisang, although they didn’t say anything on the surface, the same phrase was written on their faces—good-for-nothing.

And after NHS pieced together what happened to his brother and set out on a path to revenge, I don't see how someone who is so sharp and deceptive and able to reach his goals while hiding behind a facade the entire time would feel "inferior".

#anon ask #nhs #mdzs #mdzs meta

[chemical-cat]

Something I don't recommend for beginners...

Disclaimer: I do NOT want to gatekeep tarot, this is simply my personal opinion and my advice for beginners who are interested in tarot. Everything stated below is from my personal experience.

I've begun to notice a climbing interest in tarot, not just in getting readings but on people wanting to learn how to practice tarot as well, especially on tiktok. Now I'm so excited to see that there are people interested in something that I personally love and has brought a lot of happiness and just overall comfort to my own life, but it can be overwhelming as a beginner to know where to start especially when there are millions of different decks out there. What deck should you start with? What books should you read? What myths are true about tarot and what rules do you need to follow when practicing?

The biggest thing that I don't recommend for beginners is a deck like what is pictured above. Now yes the artwork is gorgeous and at first it may not seem very obvious why I don't recommend a deck like this, but the main reason I don't recommend a deck like this is that in this deck and others like it, all of the suit names are renamed.

Now at first it may seem like a nit picky type recommendation, but the reason why is that most decks follow the rider-waite closely, using the rider-waite deck as a template. While each deck may have their own unique aspects, and the artwork may be different, ultimately they still follow a very similar pattern as the rider-waite and use it to also template most of their interpretations. Now this doesn't necessarily make this a con to your average deck because of one important aspect.

Most books on tarot, use the rider-waite as its example when describing tarot, the cards within tarot, the suit names, as well as other aspects such as elements, in depth descriptions of artwork, etc. Because most tarot books use rider-waite as their examples, when practicing initially while also researching it may be easier to practice with a deck that also follows the rider-waite template more closely. Yes there may be one suit name renamed - most commonly the suit of pentacles being renamed to the suit of coins, but overall if your initial deck follows the rider-waite template closely then when using books for research or help with practice/interpretation, it will be easier to apply the advice within guides to a deck that follows closely to this template.

But with a deck above, it can be extremely confusing to apply advice from guidebooks to a deck that doesn't follow this template, especially if the guidebook that may come with the deck itself doesn't explain what the original suits have become within this deck. (Which yes it can happen, it is possible to have a guidebook that doesn't explain very concretely and while those experienced may be able to work fine with these types of decks, it can be extremely frustrating for beginners).

Now this just comes as a recommendation from my own personal experience, in my own experience, my first ever deck had all of the suit names renamed, and while the guidebook did address this, when I eventually would roll over to a deck that would follow the rider-waite template more closely, I experienced a lot of frustration and confusion. It was difficult to apply guidebooks to my original deck, as some things contradicted what the original artist of the deck would say about the cards as well, but ultimately it was very confusing trying to adjust to the rider-waite template when I was used to a deck that didn't follow that template closely. It resulted in a lot of frustration and ultimately I ended up taking a very large and long break from tarot because I thought that, because I was having difficulties in working with a deck that followed the template more closely that I wasn't meant to practice tarot, that I was wrong for ever trying it, and that no matter how much I tried I'd never be good enough.

Now I do know that not everyone is going to struggle with it, but there may be someone out there who is in the same place as I was. I did eventually go back to practicing tarot, and I was not bad at tarot, I was meant to practice it. One thing that fueled a lot of my self doubt in my own abilities, were these "rules" or "myths" about tarot that I was constantly seeing, and it was so hard to know truly what was true and what wasn't true because it varied from person to person, one person would tell you if you didn't follow rules a,b,c that you would fail and your readings wouldn't be accurate; while others would say you need to follow x,y,z and not a,b,c and if you didn't then you were following myths and limiting your own abilities.

So where should you stand on these? Well... here's my personal opinion.

You must have your first tarot deck gifted to you

Personally, I don't follow this, and I know many other readers who don't as well. Whether this is a rule, or a myth that became truth for a while is unsure. But a large consensus of readers, have stated they consider this rule to be an attempt to gatekeep tarot. When I first started tarot, I didn't have anyone who would have gifted me a tarot deck, I was surrounded by family who would have viewed tarot at the time and possibly still would even in current day view it as demonic and that I was a Satan worshiper or delving into and practicing witchcraft. At the time, this myth was really floating around and being taken seriously, when I began practicing, I wanted to do everything perfectly and that I should obey any rules possible, including this one. However I ended up coming across my first deck, and instantly knew I couldn't leave without it. No one would buy it for me, that was out of the question, but I realized that there was nothing saying anywhere that you can't gift yourself a deck, and that's exactly what I did, I gifted myself my first deck.

You can't ask the same question twice

I honestly don't know where this one came from, or started but honestly I know a few people who follow this and others who don't and see no issue with it. The only thing with this one that I've seen, that would make sense is that by constantly asking the same question over and over (aka: nagging) you will eventually end up getting the answer you want, which makes sense ultimately, and you can make poor decisions simply because of it (which at that point why even use tarot if you already know the answer you want and your not going to accept any other answer?)

Sleeping with your deck under your pillow will help you bond with the cards

So personally I don't know how true this one is, I know that through personal experience I would hide my first deck under my pillow and I was very close with this deck, now whether that's because it was my first deck or because I slept with it under my pillow could be debated. But I honestly think this may be the same type of thinking as placing crystals or herbs under your pillow at night to inspire better sleeping patterns/get rid of nightmares. Now whether these things actually work or its psychosomatic is up in the air. Personally, if it helps me sleep then I like to believe in it and it isn't ultimately hurting anyone if I believe in it. So if it helps you bond with your cards go ahead! But I will say I do have multiple decks, and other than my first I do not sleep with any of them in my bed and I'm still close with all of my decks.

The death, devil, and similar cards are evil and ultimately mean your life is horrible and falling apart and there's nothing you can do.

This one is always a belief within tarot that has shocked me, ultimately at the end of the day, these cards are not evil. While some cards can signify change and people are afraid of change or aren't prepared for it, most of the time these cards do not mean that you or a loved one is going to die, your life is completely horrible and is going to fall apart, or that you dance with the "devil". These cards all have their own meaning past the entitle title and having fear of these cards will ultimately lead you to being afraid to correctly interpret the messages these cards have to tell you. This belief alone in tarot, helps to inspire fear of tarot and contributes to the belief that it is evil, similar to how there is the belief that ouija boards are evil and downright terrible. At the end of the day, tarot and oujia boards are divination tools, it boils down to how you personally use the tools and your actions from that which make them evil or not evil. A hammer isn't necessarily evil, but if it's someone's choice murder tool we don't consider the hammer the evil influence we consider the person who used that tool to be evil, the same goes for divination tools, including aspects of those tools which are less then favorable.

You need to put all the cards back in the original order (0-22 for major arcana, and all minor arcana in order)

Personally, I've never practiced it and I don't know any other readers who practice this. While some people may find it a very meditating experience to resort all the cards, to me personally this rule doesn't make sense. You're only going to reshuffle the cards again, and if you do this for multiple readings you're ultimately spending a lot of time in between readings to resort. In doing so, one point I'd like to point out is that those who follow this rule more than likely put cards "right side up" back into the deck, which could ultimately end up preventing you from getting the message you need too.

A card reversed is ultimately a bad meaning no matter what card it is.

This is simply not true, a card reversed or its shadow meaning doesn't not inherently mean that something bad is going to happen. What this does mean is that, every card has a meaning, however when it's reversed it means that whatever the cards have to tell you they can't get the message across simply by the card being right side up. Just like with the death, tower, and devil card this belief that reversed cards inherently mean something bad is ultimately another fear tactic implemented upon tarot.

You can't buy a used tarot deck, or you can't use a previously used tarot deck

This alone, goes against the rule/myth that you must be gifted a tarot deck as some people like to gift decks they've personally used that they haven't connected with. There are people who believe this rule simply because of the fact that, there is the large belief that tarot picks up energy from you as the reader or those that you are reading from/anyone who touches your deck, because of this there is a belief that with a previously used deck that it may be "contaminated" with bad energy. However, you can cleanse decks, and it's typically recommended to cleanse new decks as well as decks gifted to you, and to cleanse decks before practicing anyways. With this belief, if cleansed properly then your deck should be freed of any bad or negative energy including your own.

You are not a real reader or you can't read for other people if you use guidebooks.

Personally, I believe this is just another method to gatekeep as well as a method to keep beginning tarot readers from "stealing" clientele from more experienced readers. Not only do I know many experienced readers who use guidebooks, but I personally use my guidebooks as well. Now it is important to note that reading verbatim from the guidebooks for readings, is different then simply using them to reference off of. There are people like myself who have memory issues so using guidebooks is needed because we simply can not remember every little detail about all 78 cards, plus the added in differences that independent artists add in that vary from deck to deck, this doesn't lesson our abilities or our experience level. If you need to use guidebooks don't let that get you down or think less of your own abilities, if you read verbatim off of them try to work on branching past that work on using it as a base for your interpretation. If you don't need to use the guides that's absolutely great, and good job to you! However, remember that not everybody is going to practice the same way you do and some people have external reasons as to why they may need them. It isn't your job to police how every other reader on the planet practices, if someone is doing something wrong or is scamming they will ultimately lead to their own downfall.

You must let other people touch your deck in order to give accurate readings for other people/people need to touch or shuffle the deck in order to give a reading for them, or you can't give online readings without the person being there.

Personally, I believe this is a matter of opinion. There are readers who swear by the rule that people must physically touch your deck in order to give a reading for them because the deck then absorbs/becomes infused with their energy so then the reading will be accurate and if they do not touch the deck then the reading will not be as accurate. Then there are other readers who do not follow this rule, they believe that we as entities put our own energy out into the world consistently, and as the reader if you focus hard enough your own energy will be able to tap into that person's energy and be able to give an accurate reading that way. Within the last couple of years, we've seen a spike in online readings being offered on places like etsy, or social media platforms like tiktok. During the height of the covid-19 pandemic, it would be foolish to have allowed someone else to touch your deck due to the sheer fact alone that sanitizing a deck is fairly difficult as many decks are made of paper, so to sanitize them properly would be very difficult. Not to mention the fact that we would also be looking at a scenario where someone would be within 6ft of someone else and more than likely not practicing social distancing. The ability to practice readings online provides the ability to practice safe social distancing and protect individuals who may have a compromised immune system (the pandemic has taught us that even if someone with a compromised immune system, the elderly, or other individuals who would be at significant risk are present that some individuals simply do not care and would deliberately lie and put others at risk to get whatever it is that they want, and to assume that a reading or other metaphysical aspect would be an exception would be disingenuous not only to practioners but to those who may have compromised immune systems as well). Personally I believe that online readings, present a difficulty level just like doing a reading in person, and that because some individuals may prefer or have an easier time at doing online readings this irritates those who may not have this same type of ease at doing online readings, and they result to trying to tear down someone or gatekeep someone that they believe should be struggling as much as they are.

This is only a fraction of various "rules" that have been told within the tarot community that readers need to abide by. Ultimately, it is up to you as a reader to choose whether you want to follow every rule that is out there, a handful of the rules, or none of them at all. At the end of the day, many beginners may experience what experienced practioners have told were even similar to their own experience and that is that there is so much contradicting information out there that it can be overwhelming, a lot of the time many of these rules seem to come out of no where or have no tracable origin. Some have stated or traced some of these rules back to Romani culture, but whether or not there is truth to this lies with the Romani people themselves as they are the only ones who can speak the truth of their culture and whether there is any authenticity to these rules. As I said on the disclaimer, most of this is my personal opinion and I simply speak on my own personal experience, and I have no intents to gatekeep. This is just my personal advice for beginners.

#witchcraft community #witch #witches #witchcraft #witchblr #baby witch #beginner witch #witch community #witchlife #tarot readings #tarot community #tarot #tarotblr #tarot cards #tarot deck #tarot tips #tarotreading #tarottribe #free tarot

[athys-obelia]

character/s: claude de alger obelia, diana of siodonna, felix robane

synopsis: it's...uhm....an empress!diana x concubine!claude crackfic 😭😭

warning/s: uhh a sprinkle of politics, the robane duchy is now siodonnan and not obelian screw canon, diana is lowkey mean to rogrog

a/n: i'm so sorry this is so bad

part one

felix's foot taps against the tiles of the empress' room impatiently. "you stayed up finalising the agreement all night, your majesty, perhaps some rest is due?"

diana spares him glance, turning sideways from her position on her bed. "what was his name again?"

  "pardon?"

  "the painter," she elaborates, pointing towards the painting on the ceiling above the bed. "i keep...i don't know, i keep finding new things the more i look at it."

  "is that so?"

the painting itself, a coronation gift from felix, depicts the goddess diana reaching out to the children of the world and vice versa. "if you look at the sky closely - remember our old siodonann classes?- 'for the people' is hidden in the stars. isn't that cool?"

the knight squints at the painting. "oh, i see it! i wonder why it's in old siodonann, though?"

  "i would guess it's because the imperial family wasn't worshipped in the old days," diana explains, "for example - right now, in some parts of the empire, my late father - bless him - and i may actually have shrines because people believe the imperial family's descent is from the gods. when the kingdom was just formed, though, kings and queens weren't allowed to ride alone in carriages as they greeted their subjects- they needed to have a slave with them at all times, who kept on repeating 'you are human' to them. 'you are human', 'we are all the same in the eyes of the true gods."

the sound of the army of maids behind the door is enough to pull felix out of his trance. "er...horatius calvus, your majesty."

  "hm?"

  "the artist, that's his name."

  "ah." diana turns to the painting once more, eyes staring at the goddess' hair that melted into the night sky. "would you be able to get in contact with him? i'd like to commission a piece."

felix bows gracefully. "as your majesty commands. oh, and - for the obelian delegates' farewell celebration tonight...has your majesty decided on an escort?"

she groans, falling back on the bed. "i've had so much free time lately, the harem is all i think about!"

  "very funny, ma'am. then...shall i prepare the usual?"

diana shakes her head. "i'll visit viscaria palace later and see for myself. the obelians brought some concubines with them as presents, it's be nice to weed through the bunch."

felix's eyes nearly pop out. "you're visiting the harem?! your majesty! did you find someone you like??"

she chucks a pillow at him before he can continue. "you weren't loud enough just now, fe, i don't think all of siodonna heard you."

  "...apologies, ma'am."

three years ago, when she had only just come into power, diana remembers being afraid of the large, gold doors between her and the council room. she remembers pausing before entering, regaining her breath, preparing her mind. projecting an image.

if there is one thing she has learnt, though, it's that only fools can be afraid of their own property. their assets. the larger-than-life doors swing at her command, allow or deny entrance with solely her permission. confidence comes easy when you act like you own the place - nevermind the fact that she did own most places.

but i have no reason to be afraid.

the obelian delegates stand at her arrival and bow like good little lords should before an empress. one of the more prominent ones stands to address her as soon as the meeting commences.

  "blessings and glory upon the sun of the great siodonnan empire," he says.

diana raises an amused eyebrow. this game, hm? "is that an obelian greeting, duke? how interesting. here, one would usually wish 'a long life to the protector of the siodonnan people'. that's all i am, after all - how could i be the sun?"

duke alpheus sputters. "er...i failed to acquaint myself with siodonnan culture appropriately, my apologies, your majesty. i shall do better next time."

how arrogant. still, she smiles, "i must confess, duke alpheus - i am slightly susceptible to praise, so i'll let you off this time."

  "thank you, ma'am."

  "although making the assumption that there will be a next time at all was quite courageous of you." diana signals the guards, who open the door to let the final participant of the meeting inside. "however -courage and bravery are traits best suited for kings and queens, duke. not lords."

the obelian delegates pale as they watch their - former - emperor, wrists bound, enter the hall with an entourage of knights.

diana glances at the newcomer. "although i suppose even for an emperor, too much of a bravado may cost a war."

anastacius de alger obelia glowers at her.

she frowns at the knights. "how come such a precious friend of mine is tied up like this? is this how we siodonnans treat our guests?"

felix bows deeply. "i apologise, ma'am - he was resisting far too much."

  "whatever the case. get a seat set up right here, beside me - after all," diana smiles at the fuming obelian, "we were dining together just a few months ago, weren't we?"

  "three months ago, to be precise," anastacius spits out, "after which you decided to switch tides and invade us like a coward."

she watches one of the knights set down a fancy chair to the left of hers, reaching out to untie the bindings on anastacius' wrist. diana frowns suddenly, waving over felix, "ah, is this the leash my brother used when he tamed his dragon?"

the former emperor flinches, staring down at it. "someone here tamed a dragon?" a light pink dusts his cheeks - did he really touch the actual leash of a dragon?

felix shakes his head with a small smirk. "this is the leash her majesty the late dowager empress used, ma'am. for her dog."

  "-ah, right, i remember now! all the ones marked with this little purple line are used for tying down senseless animals, aren't they?"

  "yes, your majesty." felix returns to his spot behind her, clear amusement swimming in his grey eyes as he watches the obelians try and maintain their composure.

diana gently lets the leash loose, a hand on the stunned anastacius' shoulder to lightly push him into the seat. "you aren't wrong - i did betray your hospitality, didn't i?"

roger alpheus winces at the sudden authority in her tone as the knights pass out a document to each of the obelian lords.

  "obelia's greeting and offer for peace was kind to me, so i must return this generosity. your country is now part of the siodonnan empire, so we should be parting on a good note. will a little present suffice?"

a brunette diana remembers to be a count speaks up, "...a gift, your majesty?"

felix moves closer to the table, watching the detailed map of siodonna carved into its centre. as he raises his hand, almost as if it were a chess piece, a small island moves to the left. its color flickers between a siodonnan purple and the obelian teal.

diana sighs. "i was planning on the island of delphine, since it not only contains a relatively large gold mine, but also much tourist attraction."

oh, she can see the stars in alpheus' eyes already. "thank you, your ma-"

  "but." he shrivels under her piercing gaze, "but, obelia doesn't need gold, does it? what you need is better foreign relations. and what better way to form an alliance..."

she eyes the map, and with a flick of felix's wrist, a small stretch of land connecting two continents switches from its original purple to a hue of blue.

diana looks up now, meeting even anastacius' shocked eyes. he eyes her suspiciously, "do you really-?"

she nods. "...consider it a gift from your sovereign. it is enough, yes?"

  "i- uh," duke alpheus blinks twice, "the isthmus of erven is...an adequate present, yes, your majesty. the people of obelia shall thrive due to your generosity."

  "it is not generosity, duke. your people are my subjects now. however, i hope you realise the isthmus isn't obelian property for obvious reasons. there is no trust between us. despite this, what i will allow is some access." diana stands, watching the foreign nobles mirror the action. "the terms and conditions of our relationship from this point onwards are in the papers before you and are, obviously, subject to change. feel free to approach me with concerns, should you have any."

  "you were firmer than i'd expected with the obelians, your majesty," felix comments.

diana recoils as his eyes light up at the sight of viscaria palace. "remember when i visited obelia for anastacius' coronation? i was only seventeen, but two years into my studies as heir - and they were all over duke renauld's son! poor cousin ronnie couldn't stop apologising."

felix snorts. "the renaulds wouldn't have dared challenge your majesty's claim, not while the late empress dowager was behind you."

  "ha! that's right, everyone was scared of mama." she grins fondly, "papa most of all."

the knight nods, murmuring a prayer.

  "i want them gone as soon as possible," diana admits, "but there's much to settle before that. i need to fix up anastacius before we can let him back, the second prince is still...what was his name, again?"

  "claude de alger obelia, ma'am."

she winces. "yes, he's an impo-"

a commotion sounds from within viscaria. felix raises an eyebrow at the shouts echoing from the beautiful building, a hand already atop his sheathed sword. "ma'am, stay back, i'll have a look- your majesty! where are you going-?!"

navigating through the decorated halls, diana halts before the entrance of the garden. the argument is between two men she doesn't recognise, as the older concubines gather to the side, amusing twinkling in their eyes.

  "attention!" felix roars, "her imperial majesty, empress diana celeste!"

the two freeze in fear.

  "disrupting my peace. how dare you?" diana demands.

one of them, dressed too finely for someone she hadn't even seen yet, steps forward. "your majesty, my name is xerre, i was only-"

she raises a hand, effectively shutting him up. tone softening, diana turns to the group crowding around the desert table. "lex?"

the group shuffles to let a young, silver haired young man forward. lex bows gracefully, laugh lines around his eyes crinkling. "yes, my lady?"

  "do you know what happened here?"

lex nods. "the monthly salary was being distributed, your majesty, and xerre - being a present from the kingdom of masur - had some trouble believing his amount was the same as a former obelian slave's. verhan stepped in to argue that your majesty was the one to decide this, and they began fighting."

  "shall i prepare for his voyage back to masur, majesty?" felix asks, as the rest of the concubines roll their eyes at his antics.

diana studies the masurian concubine, beckoning him closer. "it is common knowledge i do not generally accept gifted concubines from territories out of my own."

she watches his adam's apple rise and fall, tracing a nail over the well defined jawline. xerre shivers.

  "however, your king is new to his throne, and his queen one of my dearest friends. do you realise how our alliance will look were i to send you back?"

he nods cautiously.

  "i do not wish to withdraw support from someone i consider a brother, xerre. especially when he is engaged in armed conflict on two fronts."

  "i- i am prepared for any punishment your majesty deems appropriate."

diana sighs softly. "i would send you to work for me in the capitol, but the rules state every concubine entering must reside here for a certain amount of time. until then, bear with it. this palace, and a life of luxury, is only meant for my favorites. clear?"

  "yes, your majesty."

  "my apologies, ma'am," felix says once the crowd disperses, his head hanging. "i should've prepared for your arrival with more care."

she waves off the apology, heading to the guest hall to take a look at the new obelian  concubines.

  "vera leaves for her son's wedding for a week and we've already had an incident. honestly, felix."

  "...who's vera?"

diana pauses at the unfamiliar voice. her gaze falls on the figure sitting on the window seat, entirely immersed in the book in his hands. she blinks, stunned, watching the colourful window's filtered light paint the brilliant blonde of his hair.

felix is the first to address him, scoffing, "i believe your majesty's beauty has enchanted one of the gods - who else would dare address the empress of our nation so casually?"

diana chuckles, watching as the man stands, intrigued. she stays silent, breath hitched, as he towers over her, studying her with a curiosity that rivals hers from a moment ago. and only when he finally lowers himself to a knee does his hair part, and diana flushes at the red tinting his ears.

  "greetings to her imperial majesty, may the gods grant the protector of the siodonnan people a life long and blessed."

she offers him her hand. "rise. and tell me your name."

a beat of silence passes as he stares at her outstretched hand before hesitantly accepting. "claude, your majesty."

  "claude," diana tries, finding it rolls of her tongue deliciously.

he raises an eyebrow as she regards him. "your majesty...?"

diana smiles, her hand moving to touch the various jewellery adorning his fingers. gently, she slides off the gold ring off of his ring finger. "you must have a good reason to be donning an unauthorized magical item in my palace."

he doesn't answer, head lowered.

her hand lets go of his, raising to grip the blonde's jaw. diana tilts up his face, meeting his gaze. the dull grey eyes from before have vanished, replaced by glittering blues.

she inhales sharply. "you're...the obelian pr...the second prince of obelia."

he nods.

diana turns, more puzzled than angry. "why is he in my harem?"

  "... didn't your majesty wish for it?" felix tilts his head in confusion.

  "what? no?"

the knight frowns. "but i was so sure...your majesty said you didn't have an heir because you wanted a concubine as beautiful as me...when we took over the imperial palace, as the army swore their allegiance...your majesty said the prince was the prettiest you’ve ever seen?"

  "i- felix, i was kidding!"

  "...oh."

she turns to the prince then, "and you! you're a prince! how come you just went along with this??"

  "well...it was the most peaceful part of the palace..."

diana gapes at the two men, before finally sighing in defeat. "you're telling me i was scouring the lands for you, while you were right...?" she raises a hand to massage her temple, "...gods grant me patience."

felix cautiously steps forward, "your majesty...i understand this is shocking, but... tonight's escort..."

she glances up at the obelian prince. "allow them all to retire. i've found the perfect escort."

a/n: hmmm this was a bit empty claudiana wise, wasn't it? their development is coming though, i had to give empress!diana an intro :) also !! the situation may seem a bit confusing rn, but next chapter will clear things up! or you can just ask me for clarification <3

💕 felix is dying to find a concubine diana likes bc he really really really wants to be an uncle

💕 in siodonna, emperors/empresses are referred to by their first(diana) + middle name(celeste) and not a last name bc they technically can't belong to a house, they belong to the empire. but the middle name is important bc you have to ask for it (from someone you love and respect usually), you're never just born with one (so you could ask a parent / friend / mentor yada yada and they give you a name they believe fits best)

#wmmap #sbapod #who made me a princess #suddenly became a princess one day #au #empress!diana #concubine!claude #the word concubine annoys me for some reason smfh #claude de alger obelia #felix robane #diana of siodonna #wmmap fic

[thatonecitykid]

I bet on Losing

Hey everyone! Sorry this is so sad.. was already crying so might as well make everyone else cry.This takes place after Endgame but during the same time as Far From Home. Listen to "I Bet on Losing Dogs" by Mitski for the full experience. Word Count: 2517. Have fun angels :)

Peter had finally left for his class trip, Pepper and Morgan had gone to spend their summer in Malibu, the remaining avengers were either in space or had completely disappeared from your life. Here you were after five years of your life had evaporated, and after all this time you had to play your fathers role for all the remaining avengers. You hadn't had the opportunity to cry when you first learned about what had happened. You couldn't cry at the funeral, not because you did not want to, but because you felt as if your father wouldn't want to see it. No one wanted to leave you alone, but after months of trying to dig some type of emotion out of you they had assumed that the death and slow disappearance of your makeshift avenger family had unaffected you.

You finally had the opportunity to exist alone. You had also finally mustered up the strength to visit secluded cabin your father had lived in for the last five years of his life. Although you had been given the keys immediately after the funeral, something about visiting the area made you feel uneasy. Not necessarily creeped out but just as if you did not belong, after all it was something your father invested in after you had already blipped away for several months.

You drove up to the cabin alone, slowly unlocking the door as if to not start or whoever may be inside. Before even entering the cabin, it looks clean, you assume that Pepper has had people cleaning constantly to maintain the cabin. It made sense, it was something she's cherished. You stepped into the cabin slowly and began to look around. The walls were lined with framed pictures of Morgan, family pictures of Pepper, your dad, and Morgan, and random posters and vintage albums. Although you were not the one to complain about it, having no evidence of your existence in the main areas of the home caused your heart dropped. As you wandered through the kitchen and the main family room, there is no evidence of Tony's life prior to the blip, just a somewhat normal family of three.

You decide to wander to the basement area, leaving the office and bedroom spaces upstairs for later. There was a large sitting area that you assumed they watched movies in. There was also a playroom painted pink featuring all sorts of gadgets very similar to those you grew up with that Tony had made for you. Towards the back hall of the basement, it was a glass door to your father's workshop area. You open the door gently and made your way in.

Despite looking like somewhat of a mess, you knew that behind the madness there was a method. You could tell that although your dad left in a hurry, things were placed in specific spots very similarly to how he did in every other one of his workshops. You walked towards his swiveling chair, noticing a metal box with a button on the worktable. You press the button and jump back as a life-size hologram of your father appeared in the room. He began

"Hi Pepper. My love, my muse, my boss. If you are listening to this then I did the one thing you have always told me not to do. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the worry I've put you through, and I am sorry for taking myself away from you. I was a gift wasn't I. You've already seen another version of this message, but it never hurts to see your face again my darling."

The tears in your eyes begin to form, not because you had not expected to see your father. At this point you had already seen the message he had left after the funeral; It was only really meant for Pepper and Morgan, never addressing you.. At the funeral you refused to enter the cabin but as you watched the message while standing outside, Happy looked over at you with remorse but you kept a straight face again. Who were you to complain at your dead dad's funeral? Yet this message radiated the same energy.

As the second portion of the message began to play tears began to fall faster. It almost feels like an out of body, sure your dad had taken up different kids during your time growing up, but this message made you feel as If you had been completely replaced. Although it felt like a dumb theory there was no evidence as to your existence prior to Morgan.

"Hello my little scientist. How's my favorite person. Daddy is really sorry I can't be there right now. Be a trooper and hug you mom for me real quick. Now you must be surprised because I'm supposed to be the strongest dad in the world but let me tell you kid, sometimes crazy things happen when put on the ironman helmet. My little minion I love you 3000. My love for you is infinite. You have been and will forever be daddy's best friend."

Here you were crying over a child who had also lost her father, filled with jealousy over the fact that you father had chosen her and failed to consider your return but had prepared for Peter's return, still had projects waiting for Harley, and had in fact set up a stable plan for Morgan's future. At this point you were sobbing, what had all felt like a bad nightmare and jumping to conclusions had started to feel way too real. This emotion was even stronger than when you watched footage from your father suit as the snap happened, this emotion felt like a stab in the back.

Maybe he never loved me.

You tried to collect yourself but were still sobbing when the holographic figure of you father disappeared. You might as well finish the house tour before leaving. The upstairs portion of the house featured Tony and Pepper's room, Morgan's room and two other doors. The main bedroom was tidy and organized, with a closet full of clothes that both Pepper and your dad had left. You walked into Morgan's room and did a quick look around, not wanting to invade child space. Returning to the hallway you opened the door to your father's office. Inside there was a rather simple with a desk, a leather chair, and two matching chairs. The plants in the room were growing well, meaning someone still came to water them. There were a few pictures on the wall, including Peter's Stark internship picture, and a random picture you took of the original Avengers after their first New York battle. On the desk there was another metal box similar to that in the workpace. You argued whether or not you wanted to potentially break your heart more before giving in, siting in the leather seat and pressing the button.

A slim beam of light scanned over your face, confirming your identity, and the box began to play. To say you were shocked is an understatement, as your father's hologram appeared across the desk sitting in one of the matching chairs.

"Hello Munchkin. If you've found this box, then I just going to have to accept that I've failed you. You've been gone for five years and regret every moment leading up to when you snapped away. You really did want to come to space with me, and honestly you would have been helpful, but I don't think I could see you Blip away and have the will to continue. That being said because I am already admitting I was wrong, I should not have had your suit take you to the bunker room, where you eventually snapped away alone. I regret that decision y constantly. On another note, I'm sorry I didn't hug you as soon as you got back, I clearly I cannot really hug anyone."

You had finally given up on holding in their tears. You didn't have to be strong in front of your dad. He had always held you when you cried and this time he couldn't. You tried to wrap your arms around yourself, but nothing felt the same.

"I hope you are crying, because if I'm crying alone during this part, I'll be embarrassed, his image continued as it stood up and leaned against the back of the chair. Munch I know you've probably walked around this house and have found no evidence of yourself. You've probably beat yourself up about how much I love Morgan, but think about it. The amount of time I've spent these last 5 years essentially idolizing you would not have been good for her to experience. "

You rose quickly from the chair. Not even one damn picture?

"Now I know you're wondering not even a single picture. Pick up the projector box and follow me ."

You did as the digital version of your father told you and followed it back into the hallway.

"Put the box down and put your hand on the center of the door. "

This activated a scanner which opened up the door to the room. As you walked in you recognized that this was an exact replica of your room back in the Malibu house. You were still a kid when the original house was blown to pieces but somehow everything was exactly as you remembered it. As you walked further into the room you noticed the large screens, placed like picture frames, which played videos and pictures of you and your dad throughout the years.

Your father walked towards the center of the room, bounded by how far the projector was.

"You see kid, me and you have somewhat the same grieving styles. I have a feeling you didn't cry at the funeral. I have a feeling you haven't cried, at least in a way that someone else could have noticed. You take after me in that sense."

The hologram started to sniffle, your dad had actually started crying when recording this. You really wanted to hug him, the reality of his death hurt even more. You had finally allowed yourself to start grieving.

"Look, I know you used to listen to the song about betting on losing dogs when you wanted to cry, but that does not apply to you at all. You may have gotten a more complicated stick of life, but I can tell ya, this does not need to be your villain origin story. From the first day I took you home I could tell you were a fighter, but I need you to feel as if its ok to cry. I've spent hours on this floor in shambles wishing you were here. The small things that Morgan does that remind me of you throw me into sadness pools constantly. You are my motivating force. I really hope you allow yourself to cry about it so that you can continue in life. I don't think I can stand in this room for any longer before I cannot speak at all, so please take the projector back to my office. "

As you lifted the projector you thought about how much this must have hurt your father to record. Maybe he didn't want anyone to encounter this box except for you. As you placed the box on the desk, you sat back into the leather chair as your father's holograph sat across from you.

"On a different note, you are probably wondering why I seemed to set up a game plan for everyone but you. With Morgan I just made sure she had a comfortable, who am I kidding, lavish funding behind her. I can't dictate what a five-year-old should do. For Harley you know that I've always looked out for him, a position in Stark industries honestly should not have surprised you. Peter is what I feel most conflicted about. I'm not setting him up to become the next Ironman, I'm setting him up to become the greatest version of Spiderman he can be. Well, I know the media is probably going to take it and run having known that Spiderman and Ironman we're friends at some point, but I'm really giving you the biggest responsibility. I don't expect you to live in my shadow, I want you to outgrow it. I think you might be surprised to see everything that I left you, besides Stark industries itself. That's a conversation for another day."

"I know I've been speaking for quite a while, but my baby, my baby yes I called you that. I know how much this has all affected you, and I'm sorry, I am completely sorry and do take full fault for it all. But now because we cannot change the past, let's focus on the present. I want you to know that I loved you with my entire being. I'm not sure how to emphasize this enough but I do want you to know you were cared for, you were loved, and you were thought about for every minute. If you don't get to see this message, and I'm already gone, that means this message will never have to play for anyone. Either I found you and I've given you a new message, or I'm rolling in my grave. Either way my darling I cannot emphasize how much I love you. I do hope for the best for. Before I have to go, I want to see you smile. Sure, I can't physically see it right now, but I can imagine it."

As the recording choked out that last sentence, you flashed a weak smile. A face sticky with all the tears that you have been crying.

Now I know you need to get back home, but when you get back to the city, stop by the shawarma place and get something to eat. you gotta eat Darling. Also don't act like you don't like Peter, you two idiots keep pushing each other away in cannot take it. Now I'm gonna say goodbye mini me. Watch over Pepper and Morgan for me, okay? I love you."

You took one final sweep of the house before heading back to your car. You had cried so much that your eyes physical hurt. You almost felt a sense of comfort having finally released some of the pent-up emotion. As you drove towards the city and towards the Shawarma place you almost felt kind of sad, knowing that all of your friends were in a foreign country. Yet you still felt as if your best friend, your Dad was watching over you. And in all reality that felt as if it was the only thing that mattered.

#stark reader #stark!reader #irondad #tony stark x reader #peter parker #peter parker x stark!reader

[mimisempai]

When you feel weak, let me be your strength

Summary:

Sam, slightly injured during a mission, is going through a moment of doubt. But Bucky is there to take care of him.

🌈 Happy Pride month ! 🌈

To celebrate, 1 day, 1 story.

Be ready for smiles, laugh, fluff, tooth rotthing fluff, positive vibes and a lot of love!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31944619

1427 words - Rating G

Bucky felt Sam roll over next to him several times.

Until finally, Sam sat down on the edge of the bed with a heavy sigh.

"Sam? You can't sleep?"

"It's mostly that I can't find the right position." He sighed and reluctantly continued, "because of the pain."

This simple admission showed Bucky how much Sam trusted him. Sam never complained.

At the beginning of their relationship, getting Sam to open up about his pain was like pulling teeth. His lover was so used to relying only on himself, being strong for others, taking care of others, that he took it all on himself and forgot about his own self. But Bucky was there now.

"May I see?" asked Bucky softly.

He knew that during his last mission, Sam had been hit by a rock that had come off a cliff and hit him in mid-air, and even though his armor was reinforced with vibranium-a requirement of Bucky’s who had literally begged Shuri-it didn't stop him from feeling the shock.

"What? What do you want to see? That I'm not a super soldier like you? That I can't take a beating without getting hurt?" Sam questioned him bitterly.

But Bucky didn't let Sam's defiant tone deter him, he kept his composure, put everything he felt into his eyes and said softly, as if he was talking to a scared animal, "Show me Sam, please."

They stayed like that for a few moments. Bucky was unimpressed by the dark looks Sam was giving him and continued to stare at him in the same way until with a sigh of defeat, Sam gave in.

Although reluctant, he lifted his shirt and Bucky held his breath at the extent of the bruise. No wonder Sam was having trouble sleeping. It stretched from the top of his shoulder to his ribs and back again.

Bucky decided that if his lover wouldn't take care of himself, then he was going to do it for him.

He stood up, kissed Sam lightly on the forehead and said, still in the same gentle tone, "Stay like that, I'll be right back."

He went into the bathroom and Sam heard him rummaging through the drawers until he came back with a tube of cream that Sam recognized as a pain remedy. Bucky studied the bruise for a second, trying to figure out what to do so that Sam would suffer as little as possible and then said, "Lie down on your stomach, I'll apply some cream."

Sam huffed and said, "Bucky, there's no need, it will go away. You don't need to worry."

"Sorry, but I can't. I'm your husband, it's my duty to worry about you. It's the direct consequence of my love, deal with it."

Bucky put a finger on his lip and continued, as gently as ever, "Hush Doll now, let me take care of you. I know it's not easy, I know you don't like to feel weak, but I told you before, here with me there is no Captain America, no expectations of the outside world. Just Sam Wilson and his husband Bucky Barnes who takes care of him after a difficult mission. So try to let go, I'll take care of everything ok?"

"Okay." Sam did as Bucky asked. He was never able to resist him anyway, Bucky having shown him time and time again that he was more than capable of taking care of himself. Sam's bravado was just his last defense to keep himself from letting go and they both knew it.

Once Sam was on his stomach, Bucky straddled his thighs. He opened the tube of cream, took a dab and warmed it in his hands before starting to apply it to Sam's skin.

Sam flinched slightly.

Bucky stopped immediately and asked him, "Am I hurting you?"

"No, on the contrary." To emphasize his point, Sam put his hands along his body, his shoulders completely relaxed

Bucky, reassured, continued to apply the cream and then massage the rest of Sam's back, loosening all the cramped muscles. Keeping the touch light though so as not to increase the pain.

"Bucky... actually it wasn't just the pain that was keeping me awake." said Sam softly in a slightly broken voice  after a few moments.

"Hm? What else?"

Bucky knew this was coming, it wasn't the first time, so he just listened.

"I'm trained, I'm not afraid to get into the fight when I have to, but sometimes I... "

He paused, as if he didn't dare continue his sentence or had trouble putting into words what he was feeling.

Bucky continued his massage and simply asked, "But sometimes you what Sam?"

"Sometimes I'm afraid of being too confident, of getting carried away by the power of this shield. And when I got hit by that stone, the pain I felt on the impact, I realized that without the shield and the armor, I was just mortal.  And I was scared for the first time in a long time, I felt the same shock as when Riley had been hit in mid-air by the rocket. I wondered if I had not let myself be carried away by the feeling of omnipotence that the armor and the shield gave me. I wondered if I was able to keep going. "

Bucky lay down next to Sam, turning him so that he could wrap his arms around him while being careful not to put pressure on his bruise.

Then he began to whisper against his hair, "Just because you ask that kind of question, I can tell you that yes Sam you are still capable of doing it. Did you get carried away? So what? It happens to everyone. It took a rock to make you realize that but I know you Sam, you're an extremely lucid person, - well not always about your own needs-, so you would have seen it sooner or later. But to get so carried away that you forget your responsibilities? No Sam, I'm sure of that.The proof is in your reluctance to take the shield 10 years ago, you didn't jump on it, you didn't believe that the shield was everything.  You chose to take on the Captain America costume fully aware of the weight of that responsibility and you still wear it today in the same way. You are human Sam, you are allowed to stumble.  You're allowed to have doubts."

"But I'm supposed to..." Bucky cut him off gently.

"Hey Sam, having a moment of doubt or weakness is not being weak. It's what you do with it that determines that. And I already know you're going to turn this into a stepping stone to move forward. You're not supposed to be anything. And never forget that you're not the only one with these responsibilities, even if you're the one in the spotlight. There's Sarah and the kids, Joaquin, Rhodey, Peter -don't roll your eyes, I know you love him- me-"

"Meow?"

"Haha and yes there is also the most supportive of all, Alpine."

Sam smiled, as Alpine jumped on the bed and lay against his belly, feeling he needed comfort.

After kissing Sam on the neck, Bucky whispered softly," So now you'll get some sleep, we'll enjoy this weekend of rest and I promise you that with hindsight, you'll see things differently."

"What if I don't?" asked Sam, the doubt still lingering in him a little.

Bucky placed his hands on Sam's head and began to make hypnotic circles with his fingertips.

"Then you'll consider other options, we'll consider other options together and if that means hanging up the Cap's outfit for a while, then that's what you'll do and I'll support you whatever your decision is. Anything is possible, Sam. Anything is possible for you. But we're not there yet, so try to get some sleep sweetheart."

"Hm Bucky, I don't know what I would do without you."

"That darling, we don't need to know, I have no intention of leaving.

As Bucky massaged his head, Sam gradually felt the fears, the questions disappear, letting a restful sleep take over.

It was only when he felt Sam's breathing take on a regular, deep rhythm that Bucky surrendered and fell asleep as well.

Tomorrow everything would be better.

Tomorrow there would be no mission, no fight, just the two of them, preparing for another tomorrow.

After tomorrow, this time, it might be Bucky who would need Sam.

After tomorrow and forever, only one truth would remain unchanged: Each of them was the other's safe place.

_____

Not beta'd I hope you enjoyed it 🥰

#sambucky fics #sambucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #tfatws #caatws #winterfalcon #sam x bucky #caring bucky #married

[a-wanderin-whirlybird]

So UUUUH @messinwitheddie @sketchydesertghost I wrote a thing with Kii and Ophelia and Delta in life... its the first time Delta and Ophelia met and Fifi is there being... well Fifi. (Also some Hive Cadaver Lore) Enjoooy!

First Meetings

Tallest Delta fidgeting nervously with the hem of his robes. They were standard Priest Robes, ones all Tallest Priests wore to any kind of diplomatic meeting. Delta and his sister, High War Priest Fifi, were walking to the Meeting room in Tallest Kii's Hive to meet a new Ally. Delta firmly believed in Kii's judgement.

"Stop fidgeting Del." Fifi hissed to her Swarmmate. Delta let go of the Henry and pouted. 

"You know I'm not good at this Fi. What if I make a fool of myself and our Hive before this new Ally? Not to mention how that would reflect on Lady Kii, Our Hive rarely ends up in any kind of Alliance! We dint have any kind of protocol for this. It was already considered unusual that I aligned us with Lady Kii. If I make a fool of us- Ow! Fifi!" Selta stopped in his whispered rant as Fifi kicked his leg.

"You're spiralling again Del. Stop it. You will be fine. You always are around Kii. I'm more concerned about this Ophelia character." Fifi growled, talons flaring as she flexed her hand. Each small talon was tipped with ornate silver claws. Ideal for both battle and corpse preparation, they could slice through flesh and a few softer metals with ease. Delta lightly shoved his much smaller sister. 

"Stop that! Not everyone is out to get us. I'm sure Tallest Ophelia is an upstanding individual. From the information Lady Kii sent us it appears she is an Oracle, and the real deal too." Delta said. The meeting room was drawing closer.

Light spilled out into the Hall, showing the colors on Delta and Fifi's robes. Fifi wore a lighter set of robes. It was all a single layer of soft, cotton like material in vibrant greens and yellows. For those of earth reading this the robe resembled the Lunar Moth. It trailed behind her in short twin tails and a hood adorned with fuzzy accents covered her head. A simple cloth belt was tied about Fifi's waist and a Bow on her right side. 

Delta's robes were much heavier. Many layers of Cloth of varying lengths adorned his form. The sleeves looked like Atlas Moth wings, and an array of earthy tones peaked out from under one another. Delta had practice moving in these robes so he glided into the room with ease. If it came to it Delta could also Fight in these robes. 

"Tallest Delta. On time as Usual." Kii said as Delta and Fifi entered the room. She was standing besides a Fuzzy Tallest. Tallest Ophelia, Delta guessed. 

"We try to be Lady Kii." Delta said. He saw the small twitch of Kii's mouth, the ghost of a smile, when he and Fifi entered. It sent his Squeedlysplooch fluttering, but he steeled himself and swallowed the feelings. This was important. Kii was not interested in romance. Only friendship. And Delta had sworn to give her that. 

Besides, it wouldn't do to suddenly wax poetic in front of a stranger. 

Fifi tilted her head, a wry smile spread across her face. 

"We dont like leaving people waiting Kii. Though you've done that plenty." Fifi Teased. And just like that, the last vestige of tension left Kii and she relaxed.

"Hush. At least I have some manners." Kii retorted with a small smile. Delta watched Tallest Ophelia observe the exchange in the background. She looked shocked and confused, as many did when Fifi fearlessly teased Kii. 

"Either way. Tallest Delta, Allow me to introduce our new Ally. Tallest Ophelia of Hive Litore. Tallest Ophelia, this is Tallest Delta of Hive Cadaver." Kii introduce Ophelia, who stepped forward upon hearing her name. Delta gave a small bow, antenna sweeping apart as he did so. Ophelia returned the gesture and gave a small smile. 

"It is wonderful to meet you Tallest Delta. You do your Hive proud." Ophelia said Delta fought back the blush, but he Knew everyone saw his face flush a dark purple. 

"I thank you Tallest Ophelia. I have heard many good things about you as well." Delta said.

Shortly after the meeting commenced in earnest. Delta stayed as focused as he could throughout. Occasionally Fifi would interject and either Kii or Delta would respond. Tallest Ophelia did not engage Fifi, watching on instead. 

A recess was called when Kiz entered the room insisting they took a break after several hours.

"Thank the Weaver. Delta was starting to repeat himself again and Kii was falling asleep." Fifi said walking over to Kii who huffed. "Be as mad as you want Kii you need a rest. Ill join you and Kiz while My Brother gets to Know Ophelia."

Fifi was hard to dissuade when she got an idea. She took Kii's hand and practically dragged the tired Tallest away. Delta knew Lady Kii would scold her for such public displays. But Fifi never cared. 

Once the two left Delta turned to Tallest Ophelia and noticed a strangled expression. Delta laughed nervously and waved a hand. 

"My apologies my Swarmmate can be a shock to many." Delta said. Ophelia nodded.

"Are you not mad with her for Insubordination?" Ophelia asked. Delta shook his head. 

"No. How can I be? Fifi is my Swarmmate, my sister and our High War Priest. I would never ask her to change anymore than I would ask Lady Kii." Delta explained. "She and Lady Kii became good friends a while back, and for that I am glad. Neither fear speaking their minds, and though this may cause some problems they often move past those times with ease."

"Strange. Tallest Kii had informed me that your Hive has many different customs, I did not expect…" Ophelia trailed off and Delta figured out what she meant. 

"In Hive Cadaver anyone with a third eye, regardless of size, can become a High Priest. They run the Council of Rituals as we call them. Many decisions in regard to our practices must go through them first. Its incredibly rare for both the Tall gene and the Third Eye mutation to exist." Delta pointed to his own third eye in the center of his chest. It peered right at Ophelia through a white veil that draped over it. 

"As such the council ensures our practices remain intact, even when they must change. The Tallest, when lacking Priesthood training, do not get a say in such matters. Rather they run the day to day business for the Hive. Fifi is the High War Priest. She memorized every single ritual connected to war and preforms them regularly. As such she holds near equal control of our Hive's armies in these times." Delta explained.

"But you have the eye and the training. Yet you do not hold power above her." It wasnt a question. Ophelia stated it as fact. Delta smiled widely. 

"Well yes! We both went through priesthood training as cadets together. I did not reach my current Height until I was already a full fledged priest. I was something of a late bloomer. Fifi always protected me and helped me. As Tallest and a Priest I am in a rare and strange position. I have say over our customs but not enough to fully control it. However I am in charge of our day to day lives and alliances. I place my trust in Fifi and the rest of the Priests and advisors to ensure we maintain a proper balance of power. Hive Cadaver has always operated this way and it has done us well." Oohelia seemed to consider this before smiling.

"I was correct." Delta blinked in confusion. "You are an upstanding man Delta. You are aware of your duties and the emotions and wellbeing of those around you. I mean no offense when I say, you are ill suited for war. Had times been better, you would flourish beyond where you are now."

Delta blinked again, unsure what to say. Only for Ophelia to suddenly sidle up to him and firmly slapped his shoulder. 

"You are a fine friend to Tallest Kii. But why don't you ask her out?"

"EH?!" Delta squeaked and flushed, his whole head down to the tops of his shoulder turned deep purple once more. 

"I do not need to be an Oracle to see how you watch her. Yet you keep your distance!"

"It-I! I don't want to pressure her. Tallest Soxx already does that enough. My feelings are not worth hurting her." Delta admitted. He could not stop the twinge of sadness that laced his voice. "I will be content simply as her friend and ally."

"Hmmm. That is noble of you." Ophelia said, letting go of Delta's shoulder. "But its painful for you. Your love is strong. Strong enough to transcend the boundaries that all the living must follow. And I'm confident that you will one day get to show Kii how strong your love is. And how kind it is." 

It felt like a prophecy. It sounded like one too. Delta had received enough prophecies and messages from Lady Death to tell. But in this moment it did no good to linger on it. 

"Th-thank you Ophelia." Delta said with a sigh. "Now I believe we should catch up with my sister and Lady Kii before they decide to start throwing things." 

Ophelia laughed. "Yes, lets!"

#invader zim #Irken Ocs #ocs #Fan Hives #Hive Cadaver #Hive Litore #shit Idk Kii's Hive name #Tallest Kii #Tallest Ophelia #Tallest Delta #High War Priestess Fifi #Fifi #fanfic

[tinisprout]

No Doubt in Us

Chapter Two - She Has Amnesia *written chapter below*

Masterlist | Prev | Next

Fiance!Haknyeon x Fem!reader

Synopsis: Life is great, you have your dream job, you finally got your first big break, and you are now engaged to the love of your life. Happier than you’ve ever been, you live life one day at a time. Then one day a terrible accident happens leaving you in a coma. Where you finally awake, everything is not as you remember. Amnesia takes away 3 years of your memory, forgetting your beloved Fiance. Faced with a reality that seems unreal, as your mind is stuck in a past with uncomfortable memories, your future with him is uncertain.

Send me an ask if you want to be put on a taglist for this series.

Word count: 2.3K

Warning: none

The House you were met with was unfamiliar, thank goodness Chanhee was here to give a quick tour of the house. You came across some familiar things, but most you didn’t recognize. Chanhee helped you explain the situation to your parents and you agreed to see each other sometime next week. They both had taken a lot of time off work to see you during your stay in the hospital, so you told them to just hold off for a while, promising them that you were fine.

You were thankful for the painkillers you had, or it would have been impossible to wash by yourself, though they made you feel a little drowsy. As a precaution, Chanhee stayed in case you had an accident by yourself. Getting cleaned up felt refreshing, but you didn’t take too long or your mind would wander. You stepped out of the shower covering yourself with a towel and stood in front of the mirror. Wiping the steam-filled mirror, you brought your face closer to the mirror, examining yourself for the second time today.

Your hand lightly grazed over a scabbed-up wound on your forehead. Sliding your hand down your fingers glide across your features, it’s similar but different. Turning your head at different angles you could see your looks had matured a little. It was you no matter how you poked and pulled at your skin. Letting these smaller changes bother you wasn’t going to help you any, so you backed away from the mirror and went out of the bathroom.

You looked around your room, Chanhee showed you around but it was just a quick introduction, you didn’t get to examine everything. The room consisted of a big dresser with a mirror hung behind it, a hanger rack, a queen-sized bed next to the big window that showed almost the whole of downstairs, and a smaller window with a view of outside, in front of the window was a small desk and chair. You looked at the things strewn about the top of the dresser. There were perfumes and colognes, lotions, makeup, and birth control. You took birth control before you met Haknyeon so you weren’t shocked to see it.

Picking it up you pop one out of the packaging swallowing the pill. Damn, how long has it been since I last took one? Hopefully, my next period isn’t too bad. The main reason you started taking birth control was to regulate your period and make it lighter, you weren’t sexually active. You weren’t against it you just hadn’t found someone you felt comfortable enough to go all the way with, your desire to do it wasn’t very high either. Your thoughts drifted to Haknyeon, have we… No! Not the time for this. I can worry about that later.

After a search through the dresser, you grab your underwear putting it on. You looked at the clothes hung up, some of them you recognized, some you didn’t but they were in your taste. You opt to put on some comfy clothes, it was still too early for pajamas. Going downstairs where Chanhee waits for you, he lays on your couch messing with his phone. Chanhee sits up making room for you. Taking the free spot you lean back sighing.

“Sorry for taking up your free day.”

“I was planning to visit you later anyway, I’m just glad you're back. I’ll leave when Haknyeon comes back, He should wake up soon enough.”

“So… tell me about this Fiance.” You looked at your ring finger staring at the indent left on it. Reminded by your action, Chanhee took your ring out of his pocket and handed it to you.

“Put it in your pocket. Find someplace to keep it later.” You followed his orders, putting it in your pocket. He kept the ring for safekeeping after finding out you discarded it. When he heard what you had said to Haknyeon in full, he was shocked and felt bad for both Haknyeon and you. He thought for a bit, “Haknyeon is kind, like, really kind, and caring to others, so much so to the point that he sometimes neglects himself. He can be very emotional. He is a smiley person, always a positive thinker. Honest to a fault at times. A bit of a worrier, but generally free-spirited and carefree. He is kinda a goofball with his friends. Just like you, a hard worker, he is always pushing himself. And his appetite, he is a foodie if I ever met one, he will literally eat anything...anything.” You took some time to process all that he said, trying to imagine the man you saw acting in the ways Chanhee mentioned.

“Hmm.” Hearing your awkward reply Chanhee changed the subject. Talking about miscellaneous things as time passed, you both eventually became hungry.

“I can order something, I don’t really feel like cooking and you shouldn’t try cooking yet.”

“Okay.” Chanhee gets up, going on his phone while pacing around the room. Unbeknownst to you, Chanhee text’s back Haknyeon.

C: Yes, I'm still with her, and glad you’re ok.

H: Thanks, Hyunjae is taking me back home now.

C: I’ll leave when you get here, also tell Hyunjae I said hi

H: will do.

After he finishes texting Haknyeon he glances back at you, now laying across the couch. Then he actually starts ordering food.

In the car sat Hyunjae driving, Sunwoo in shotgun, and Eric and Haknyeon in the back. After texting Chanhee and leaving the hospital the boys talked about all sorts of things to help Haknyeon get his mind off of you, though it didn’t seem to help much considering his replies would be shorter than normal. Then Haknyeon spoke first.

“Guys, can I just cry right now.” No one answered him as they felt lumps form in their throats. Eric reached over and gently wrapped his arms around Haknyeon. Taking this as his cue he held onto Eric and wept, his whimpers filled the car. Eric rubbed his back, crying silently along with him. Sunwoo shifted uncomfortably in his seat, not sure what to do with himself. Hyunjae gripped the wheel tighter, biting his lip. His friend was crying his heart out and he couldn’t do anything to help him. It was a situation completely out of everyone’s control.

Getting back home to you gave him a mix of emotions. He wanted nothing more than to have you back home, but he never expected you to be in such a condition. When they finally arrived at his house, Haknyeon texted Chanhee one last time before getting out of the car. Hyunjae, Sunwoo, and Eric got out of the car as well. They all surrounded Haknyeon, giving him words of encouragement.

“We’ll be here for you, just talk to us whenever you need.” Sunwoo put a hand on his friend’s shoulder, he gave a small squeeze.

“Thanks, guys. Chanhee is waiting, I'll go inside now.” They all gave him a big group hug before he went, and Haknyeon felt really grateful for his friends.

Chanhee checked his phone and got up from the table after stuffing a few more bites in his mouth. “I gotta go,” he says while covering his full mouth.

“He’s here already?” You wipe your mouth, also standing up.

"Yup, I'm sure he'll come in any second now. The two of you need to talk." You weren't sure what to say, it was very sudden. Chanhee hugged you quickly, "Hey it's gonna be okay, I promise." After pulling away then came the sound of the door being unlocked. In walked the man you met when you woke up. Your eyes met each other for a moment and he looked away at the approaching Chanhee.

“Hey, Chanhee.”

“Haknyeon, I’m glad you’re okay.” Chanhee went in for a hug and Haknyeon returned it. You watched the natural gesture. They must be close, you thought. They parted and Chanhee went to the door saying goodbye to the both of you, closing the door behind him. With that, you two were alone together for the second time today.

“We should talk shouldn’t we?” You said offering an awkward smile, feeling nervous.

“Yeah.” You moved back to the couch leaving the food on the table, you would take care of it later. Haknyeon followed after you but did not sit on the couch but instead on the floor, across the coffee table that was in front of the couch. Haknyeon checks your hand, the ring still missing from it. He clenched his fists in his lap, he should have expected that, but it still broke his heart to see.

“Today I’ve been told a lot of new information about myself and I’m not sure what to think of a lot of it. It seems surreal, like a dream, but everything I see just confirms it’s real. I- I want to try and remember these things about my life,” About the things I’ve accomplished. “But I need some time to adjust to everything here,” In this house with you. “I’m going to need some space, to think about what I want,” And I don’t know if I want you. Many words were left unsaid, but you didn’t know what else you could say?

“I- I understand. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable in your own home, so don’t worry, I won’t force you into anything.” Those words gave you a little comfort and you thanked him. “I will be going back to work tomorrow, so you probably won’t see me, but call me if you need anything.”

“Okay, sorry for the trouble in advance.” Haknyeon looked you in the eyes, you looked the same save for a few still healing scars, but your distant attitude towards him hurt even though he tried to prepare for it.

“I’m going to go take a shower.” He was generally a clean boy, but since your hospitalization taking care of himself was less of a priority. He would take care of himself when your mother would show concern every time your parents came to visit you. She would always be sure to cook him something and remind him to clean up saying things like, ‘When she wakes up, she’ll be so sad to see you like this, please take care of yourself.’ Thinking about her words now was like a laugh in the face, even if he looked his best it wouldn’t have mattered.

“Ah, then I’ll stay down here then.” The only shower in the house was in your shared room. Needless to say, you wouldn’t be waiting in the room for him.

As Haknyeon washed the filth from his body he thought about what he would do starting tomorrow. He didn’t need to go to work Saturday and Sunday, but he would so he could give you your desired space. He was going to do it for you, at least that’s what he told himself, it was true for the most part. Getting out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist, he walked to the big window next to the bed that exposed a view of downstairs. His eyes searched for you, finding you standing at the sliding door leading to the backyard, staring at something unknown. He turned and walked away so he could get changed. You felt eyes on you, so you turned around and looked at the window to the bedroom, but all you saw was the back of a head before it disappeared. You decided to sit back down on the couch before he came back down.

Haknyeon came back downstairs with clothes on and a towel hanging off his head. He roughly rubbed at his damp hair and sat in the same spot as before. He looked up at you the towel covering his head like a hood, he looked a little sad like that. “You can sleep in the bedroom, I can take the couch.”

“Oh, but-”

“You don’t want to sleep in the same room do you?” He was right, you didn’t, so you kept your mouth shut instead. “It’s fine, I understand. Besides, you are the recovering patient, not me.” Well technically, he also got discharged from the hospital today, but you knew what he was trying to say, you wouldn’t try to argue again.

“Okay, thank you. Um, if you’re hungry, Chanhee ordered some food, I put it away in the fridge.”

“Alright, thank you for letting me know.” Strangely enough, he wasn’t that hungry and didn’t really feel like eating. Going back upstairs to your room you look at the bed it was neatly made, you wondered if that was your doing or his. You looked out the window and your eyes looked at Haknyeon making his bed on the couch and then your eyes fell to the sill, it was dusty. Is that normal? No, surely I would clean it. How long has it been since someone has used this room? You decided to not think about it too deeply, you would clean it later. With those thoughts, you went into bed and let sleep take you.

You would never know that when Haknyeon would come home from the hospital, he couldn’t sleep peacefully. He would stay up through the night sitting in the living room thinking about you, wondering when you would wake up, waiting for visiting hours to start again. There would be points where he would fall asleep and he was haunted with nightmares of a crash he never witnessed. Sometimes you would call for help, but he could never reach you. He could only sleep better when he was with you, nightmares would still happen but they would be less often and they felt less traumatic. Thankfully tonight, for the first time in a long time, He dreamt of nothing. But it would be a short-lived peace.

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