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#I'm so tired and painful and

druid-for-hire · 4 months

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[images ID: three images of a comic titled "one must imagine sisyphus happy" by druid-for-hire. it is a visual narrative beginning with someone with wrist pain (depicted by bright orange nerves) working at a drafting table. the reader is shown the same wrist as the person uses it for many everyday tasks such as carrying a grocery basket, pushing elevator buttons, typing, and doing dishes, until the pain dissolves all the panels into chaos. the person then performs several physical therapy exercises until the pain subsides. they sit back down at a desk with their laptop, sigh, and begin typing. a small spark of pain reappears. end id]

a fun little piece i made during the semester and submitted into our school comic anthology! (which you can buy at the Static Fish table at MoCCAFest in NYC ;] ). it's about artists and injury

#comic art #comics #original comic #chronic pain #carpal tunnel #tendonitis #my art #original #edit: what a delightful surprise to see this take off #this was made for class on very low fuel and very few thoughts and late at night and exhausted #the prompt was just a wordless narrative essay. three pages. and i had nothing and no ideas #and my head hurt and i was too tired to think about doing any of the like. research and mind mapping and ideating i'd do otherwise #but my arm hurt #so i decided to do a thing about arm hurty #i'm surprised to see so many people finding it resonating with them #but then again i shouldn't be. the universal lies in the specific #i should make more things about smaller stuff

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0turnthelightsout0 · 9 months

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This image of Gaster in a victorian/edwardian wheelchair popped into my head last week or something and it hasn't left me alone since. When I started drawing it, I decided I wanted to see him using other mobility aids but I only got around to drawing the arm crutches lol. Maybe I'll do more in the future. I like this idea.

#gaster #undertale #utdr #fanart #my art #light's art #drawing the chair was such a pain #still not satisfied with it #but I'm tired so imma just leave it as is #I gotta practice drawing objects more #I do like the idea of him pushing himself tho #I dunno

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sohotthateveryonedied · 2 years

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What was Tim’s relationship with his parents like? It seems like they left him alone a lot, based on fanon - is that true?

Tim's relationship with Jack and Janet Drake is...messy. Very messy. There are a lot of misconceptions floating around about how Jack and Janet really were as parents, largely due to headcanons and fanfiction exaggerating their abuse/neglect of Tim. So, we're going to clear all of that up by analyzing how Tim's parents were as evidenced in canon.

From the very beginning of his time in comics, it's clear that Tim's parents are hella neglectful. The writers needed a Robin who would be able to do his crimefighting without the interference of parental figures, so they gave him rich absentee parents to achieve that.

Tim's parents mean well; they do genuinely love and care about Tim, considering that the first glimpse we get of them is the Drake family enjoying a trip to the circus together. At face level, they look like a typical happy family.

Batman #436

However, Tim's parents have a tendency to take long trips around the world for their job and leave Tim behind with the nanny. They were noted to be gone for long periods of time during Tim's Robin training, only keeping in touch with their son through halfhearted postcards promising to call soon. They also were prone to extending trips or leaving without warning, giving Tim very little input or notice when it came to whether or not he would be able to spend time with his own parents anytime soon. It got to the point where Bruce became suspicious of the Drakes’ neglect of their son.

Detective Comics #618

Robin #1

Robin #11

“I guess that sums them up! Never know where they’re going to be—or when—or even how long!”

Ah, yes, this is the proper way to raise your child.

So, it is firmly established that Tim’s parents are inattentive and neglectful. They love Tim in their own way, but not enough to be at home often and spend time with him, or to take him across the world with them. Granted, they are incredibly wealthy people with a large company, but…so is Bruce. And Jack and Janet don’t even moonlight as vigilantes, which doesn’t give them much of an excuse.

(I do think that comics tend to use Bruce’s relationship with Tim as a juxtaposition to show just how harmful Jack and Janet’s parenting is for Tim, such as neglecting his emotional needs, not respecting his privacy, etc. Over time, this leads to even Jack having this silent rivalry with Bruce over Tim’s affection. But I’ll get to that later.)

To contrast, here is Bruce offering to take the night off to stay with Tim and comfort him after his parents have been kidnapped:

Detective Comics #619

And Bruce has a reputation for being a questionable parental figure, which just makes Jack and Janet look even worse in comparison.

Then the Drakes are poisoned by the Obeah Man: Tim’s mother dies and his father falls into a coma. Janet’s term in comics was short, so we don’t know a lot about her personality or how she was as a parent, other than that she was not home often. When she and Jack were kidnapped, Janet seemed to express regret about her choices in life, possibly including not spending time with her son while she could.

Detective Comics #620

Otherwise, that’s about it for Janet. There is a fever dream Tim has when he’s dying of the Clench in which he imagines his parents both alive and knowing that he’s Robin. It’s a happy scene, with Janet preparing a home-cooked meal and being warm and present, which could possibly be Tim’s subconscious wishing that this was how his life could have been, but we don’t know enough about Janet’s actual parenting to do much with that. I personally choose to interpret it as Tim’s longing for the ideal family dynamic he never got to have, with both his parents home and acting like a real family.

Batman Chronicles #4

Now, Jack and Tim’s relationship is rocky from start to finish. One minute they’re getting along, the next everything is a disaster, over and over until Jack’s death.

After the Obeah Man incident, Tim is left grieving his mother and worrying about his paralyzed, comatose father. He continues to live with Bruce at Wayne Manor during this time, hoping for Jack to wake up.

Robin II: Joker’s Wild #4

Tim becomes conflicted over the fact that, with the Waynes, he feels for the first time like he’s part of a real family. Which is...very telling. But we already know how neglectful Janet and Jack were of Tim, so are we really surprised? The closest thing Tim had to a “real” family before Bruce was Mrs. Mac the housekeeper.

Upon waking from his coma, Jack has this great epiphany that he’s going to be a better father for Tim and right all the wrongs he made in life.

Batman #480

“I’ll make it up to you—starting tomorrow!”

With his father in a wheelchair and needing all kinds of medical care as he recovers, Tim feels obligated to move back in with Jack and take care of him.

Batman #480

Tim writes his dad a letter venting all of his inner conflicts and harbored resentment, saying that he never felt like he was part of a family before becoming Robin and meeting the Waynes. He wishes he could tell Jack the truth instead of hiding the most important part of his life from him, which causes a rift between Tim and Jack that honestly never fully heals until War Games.

Aptly, the letter is addressed, “To the Father I Never Knew.”

Batman #480

As it turns out, Jack Drake is deeply insecure when it comes to his place in Tim’s life. Jack has no regrets about neglecting Tim until he learns that Tim has a new father figure in his life, AKA Bruce, the resident Dad Supreme. Jack becomes jealous of Bruce, trying to get back into Tim’s good graces because he knows that, in comparison, he’s looking like a pretty shitty father compared to Brucie Wayne, the irresponsible playboy. Ouch.

Batman #480

Robin III: Cry of the Huntress #3

This all comes to a head when Jack gets angry with Tim for acting out, cutting school, getting into fights, etc. In turn, Tim gets fed up and confronts Jack about his poor parenting.

Robin III: Cry of the Huntress #4

“Who is the son you know, Dad? You don’t know me. You never bothered.”

By the end of the miniseries, they eventually work things out and apologize to each other. Honestly, the biggest problem Tim and Jack have when it comes to their relationship is miscommunication. They both want to be a real father and son, but there are too many obstacles in their way (Tim’s Robin activities, Jack’s inability to care about his son unless it’s convenient for him, Tim’s bond with Bruce) that keep them from having the close relationship they both clearly want.

Robin III: Cry of the Huntress #4

Jack really does try to be a better father for Tim over the next few years, but he makes a lot of mistakes along the way. After being kidnapped (again), Jack tells Tim that he’s yet again going to try and be a more attentive father. (As if Tim hasn’t already heard this speech before lmao.)

Robin #7

Jack tries to spend more time with Tim, but his version of spending time together is mostly just springing new plans on Tim and giving Tim little say in any of it.

Robin #11

Robin #12

(It also shows how little attention Jack pays to Tim, since he doesn’t notice that his son has a literal six-pack and could probably benchpress his own weight by now.)

Jack eventually falls in love with Dana, his physical therapist, and she more or less takes up all of his attention for the time being. Tim once again falls out of the spotlight. Tim is partly relieved about this, since it means that Jack is less likely to catch on to Tim’s Robin outings with Dana as a convenient distraction.

Robin #12

Robin #15

Jack goes to all the trouble of making plans with Tim, only to cancel the moment something shiny and new moves into his line of sight. Great parenting, Jack. A+ work. Tim sees this as less of a problem than it is, thanks to his second identity, but any other child would be severely impacted by this “whenever I feel like it” method of parenting. Regardless, Tim and Jack’s relationship at this point is on its way to leveling out for the time being. They still don’t communicate very well, but they generally get along with each other.

After Tim runs away from home and causes a whole incident during No Man’s Land, Jack sends Tim away to Brentwood Academy, a boarding school literally in the same city as them, as punishment for being a lil hooligan. Just say you don’t feel like dealing with Tim anymore and move on, Jack.

Robin #74

When Tim is at Brentwood, Jack informs Tim that he and Dana are engaged through a phone call. Tim is not even an hour away, but Jack figures why waste a day spending time with his own son to tell him the good news when you can accomplish it with a phone call, right?

Robin #78

It isn’t long before Jack Drake goes broke due to his company losing money or however bankruptcy works, and Tim gets to leave Brentwood. Jack chooses this time to once again try to work on his relationship with Tim...

Robin #100

...and then slides right back into ignoring Tim when the loss of his fortune makes Jack too depressed to do much of anything. Not that it’s a huge loss, considering that when Jack does bother to pay attention to Tim, it doesn’t often go well. He has a reputation for getting overly aggressive when Tim acts out, and he has a habit of dragging Tim into obligations he doesn’t want to do for the sake of looking like a present parent, trying to exert control over Tim that he hasn’t quite earned.

(It’s also interesting the way Tim starts to question Jack’s decision, then quickly stops himself and agrees to whatever it is Jack wants, as if Tim has gotten used to being allowed to think and act for himself during his time with Bruce, and now he’s remembering that things are different in the Drake household. He has to go back to Good Obedient Son mode, and if that doesn’t make you sad then I don’t know what will.)

Batman #480

Robin #45

Robin #92

By the time Jack finally gets out of his funk, Tim (of course) forgives him immediately, so they’re back on track again.

Robin #116

(It’s also worth mentioning that Jack forgot Tim’s birthday. Yeah, he was going through his own depressive spiral at the time, but still. Dick move.)

Robin #116

Honestly, I owe a lot of the good moments in Tim and Jack’s relationship to Dana’s influence. She’s a great stepmother to Tim and she helps rein Jack in when he’s being an asshole. Her parenting style is far more caring and considerate compared to Jack’s, who tries to mold Tim into his idea of a perfect son: obedient, masculine, and quiet (whenever he feels like paying attention, that is).

Robin #122

Robin #127

Robin #45

Robin III: Cry of the Huntress #1

Robin 80-Page Giant (2000)

Where Dana is understanding and patient, Jack is commanding and rigid. Over time, Dana softens him enough so that Jack is more of a well-meaning dad clumsily trying his best than an abusive asshole, but still.

Jack acknowledging that he screwed up and is trying to fix his and Tim’s relationship has been a major plot point for years up to this point, and it remains a central part of Tim’s civilian narrative for as long as Jack is alive. Jack tries to fix what’s wrong between them, and Tim is eager to have a closer relationship with his dad, even if it’s difficult to accomplish due to his Robin activities. I repeat: They both want to have a good relationship. It isn’t that Jack simply doesn’t care about Tim (which, it could be argued that he didn’t care about Tim until Janet died). They both really do try to fix what’s broken between them. It’s just that Jack can’t accept that Tim is his own person, and Tim can’t risk compromising his identity.

Robin #71

For a small while, things are okay between Tim and Jack.

Robin #124

But pretty soon the inevitable happens: Jack snaps when he catches Tim in a lie about joining the football team to explain a black eye. Instead of confronting Tim about it, Jack decides the best course of action is to ransack Tim’s bedroom for evidence of his delinquency.

Robin #124

Jack inevitably finds Tim’s Robin gear in the closet. Instead of asking Tim about it, like a sensible human, Jack’s second genius move of the day is to go all the way to Wayne Manor and point a gun at Bruce’s face, demanding he return Tim to him.

Robin #124

(Personally, I think Jack’s reaction wouldn’t have been so violent if it weren’t for the fact that it’s Bruce, whom Jack was already jealous of for being closer to Tim than Jack ever was.)

Robin #125

With Jack threatening to expose everyone’s identities and ruin their lives, Tim agrees to give up the Robin mantle to keep Jack quiet.

Robin #125

After that, things between Tim and his dad are relatively okay. Tim is happy to be having a normal life for once, and Jack is appeased now that he has Tim all to himself.

Teen Titans #14

Then War Games rolls around and Tim once again dons the cape and boots to help in the gang war, and he and Jack finally have an honest conversation about Tim’s Robin activities. This time Tim isn’t just giving in to make his father happy, and he’s not struggling with the question if maybe he’ll be better off as a civilian, because he already tried that and he knows now that this is the life for him.

And for once, Jack actually listens to Tim.

Robin #130

They come to an understanding after that. For the first time in Tim’s whole life, he has an honest and loving relationship with his father.

Robin #131

Of course, this is about a week before everything goes to shit and Jack is murdered by Captain Boomerang during Identity Crisis. You win some, you lose some.

(What makes it even worse for Tim is that Jack asked him to stay in that night, but Tim chose to go out and help, so he wasn’t there when Boomerang came for Jack. Oof.)

Identity Crisis #5

In Jack’s last moments, he tells Tim that he loves him and that being Robin is a good thing and he should never turn his back on being a hero.

Identity Crisis #5-6

Unsurprisingly, Tim takes the loss extremely hard. It almost rivals Tim’s reaction to Bruce’s death, probably. After all, it’s his dad. Sure, Tim and Jack had their problems, but he was still his father and he loved him.

I also think a big part of it is that Jack was taken at a time when he and Tim were finally starting to see eye to eye. They finally had the relationship they both always wanted, and then a week later Jack gets murdered. I see it as Tim mourning the relationship he and Jack could have had, rather than the one they did. Tim never got to see what it would have been like to have a perfect relationship with his father because the second everything finally fell into place, Jack was taken away from Tim.

Identity Crisis #7

Robin #167

“Sometimes it’s for Bruce. Sometimes it’s for Conner. But a lot of times, I do it for you. Because you were brave enough to understand the man I wanted to be.”

DCU Holiday Special (2009)

Teen Titans (2003) #34

(Tim’s guilt and grief becomes all-encompassing to the point where he invents a fake uncle just to avoid being adopted by Bruce, but that’s a story for another day.)

Sooooo yeah, that’s about it. Tim loved his parents and they loved him back in their own ways, but he never had a perfect relationship with either of them by any definition.

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haydenthewitch · 2 months

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The worst thing about having a chronic pain that isn't visible to others is feeling like your whining when you say, "i'm in pain right now."

i don't ever want the pain in my knees to be categorized as the same kind of complaint as "i don't want to go to work" or "its monday." I say "my knees and joints are hurting" every day because 1. my knees and joints do hurt everyday, and it fucking sucks and 2. i want to be heard by the pepole around me saying that i'm in pain so i can never be gaslit by myself, my family, or my doctor that i'm "not in enough pain".

but when i say "i'm in a lot of pain right now" and then continue to live my life (becuse i can't sit around all day, as much as i want to) pepole assume that i'm okay enough, so therfore it's not that bad. "i'm in a lot of pain" becomes just another mundane complaint.

the thing is; my pain tollerance is HIGH. i don't talk about it much on here, But i'm a type one diabetic and i have been that way since i was SIX YEARS OLD. i've been sticking myself with needles, pricking my fingers to draw blood, dealing with insulin and medical supplies since i was six. i know my body better than most 18 year olds do, so when i say that recently i've been a 9 on the 1-10 pain scale evry day for the past couple of months I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

When i say "my joints hurt", i mean that i can FEEL bones grinding and clicking against one another. When i say "i've been sitting for too long and now my hips are fucked" i mean that walking becomes diffucuclt for me and sometimes i have to hobble down the school halways like how my grandmother walks. when i say "my knees are in pain" i mean that it feels like a liquid hot, searing pain in my joints that feels like a poker melting my skin off. WHEN I SAY I'M IN PAIN, IT'S NOT A MUNDANITY, ITS EXCUTRIATING AND I WISH I WOULD BE TAKEN SEROUISLY.

I cant stand for a 10 minute conversation, my knees would buckle. I might need a bench in my shower, becuse for the past few weeks i've been sitting in my shower floor to shampoo and conditon my hair. I can't sit criss-cross anymore or it will fuck up my entire day. I've resorted to taking a bathroom break in every single class every day so i can stand up becuse if i sit for longer than 30 minutes in one of those school desks every joint in my lower back and spine and legs starts screaming at me. i only feel comfortable laying down, fully stretched out, on my back. If i sleep wrong, i'm in pain from the molment i wake up.

ITS NOT A FUCKING COMPLAINT OR EXCUSE WHEN I SAY I'M IN PAIN. ITS MY LIFE.

#type one diabetic #type one diabetes #cronic pain #chronic pain #chronic illness #chronic fatigue #chronically ill #joint pain #i'm fucking 18 i shouldn't have to feel this #i'm so tired of this #hayden speaks #rant #rant post #medical rant

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threezoz · 11 months

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I've been struggling so hard for so long, i forgot what it was like to be quick-witted and feel smart.

i was gonna give up and just Get A Degree™️ but today, i read @teaboot post about filling yourself with love? I'm having different thoughts.

i want a degree that reflects my level of effort, how much pain i've had to work with to get here, what it's cost me.

no, it wasn't easy but i want people to give me a reason to punch them.

#personal mine #chronic illness #chronic pain #undergraduate #I'm so fucking tired #i would like to be adequately compensated for my time adnd suffering

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the-last-knight-of-avalir · 1 year

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Every night I go to sleep thinking it will fix me and every morning I wake up to find out it made me worse

#chronic illness #chronic pain #chronic fatigue #i'm just so tired #every second of my life

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thebirdandhersong · 4 months

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ladies and lads I would deeply appreciate prayer for a conversation I have to have in about 4 hours……. I have prepared well for it and thinking too deeply about it makes me sick to my stomach and sick at heart, but it is a conversation that must be had and I would love to approach it with wisdom and gentleness and sincerity, and not fear and anxiety and self-absorption.

#glory be to Christ in all things...... even in this pain in the neck of a conversation the idea of which brought tears to my eyes yesterday #i KNOW everything will eventually turn out fine but i am tired of this heartsickness! and this constant dull ache!#which means i have to take my medicine.#so i'm taking my medicine. God help me

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demodraws0606 · 21 days

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You know I think there is something interesting to say in terms of where the fuck WxS is going because like

I think WxS is the only unit where the end goal or overall progression is probably the most unknown out of all of them ???

MMJ and VBS are extremely obvious, they both have the most explicit goals that are said to us in a straightforward way

25-ji, in the end we know the main goal at the end will be for all of the characters to go over their hurdles with Mafuyu finally being able to find herself and move forward

Leo/need is probably the closest in terms of vagueness but we know the end goal is clear for them to grow as a band, probably ending in a big concert or something along those lines

But with WxS...like I guess the closest thing I can see to an end goal is all of WxS preparing a show together with everyone playing their part but that definitely doesn't feel like something you'd build up for an entire arc and definitely not something that feels fitting after the emotional turmoil that was the disbandement arc ???

In terms of physical achievements as well they literally revived an entire parc through one gigantic show, so it just comes into question what they can do now.

Then you look at their first few event for this arc considering usually the first event kinda set up what will be planned for the future but it's...weird.

Yeah, Tsukasa and Rui's events set up they're inexperienced and how they will grow in the future but also there is this weird feeling of something feeling off ?

The plays/scripts all are strangely depressing, the play in Tsukasa's event being about a failed writer planning to drown himself (which I believe is one of the only undeniable explicit description of suicide ever in the game?????) and the second being someone whose given up on life meeting their estranged sister only for her to become ill.

We even have Emu's side story in Rui's event where they watched the movie Rin was watching during the event made by the same producer and Emu herself note how depressing the story is (meanwhile the main character of the movie clearly parallels Rui)

We don't see the conclusion of these in-game stories as well, lingering on their worst moment never really seeing the presumably happy conclusion.

THEN we also have Emukasa fes which....again strangely different in tone from what you'd expect a WxS fes card, they're not really all that conclusive either. Tsukasa never aknowledges how he relates to the brother in the story and Emu doesn't really get a conclusion on her grief.

Then we also have Rui's entire fuckign event with the cards and his cyberpunk deadbo-YOU SEE WHAT IM SAYING

The closest we fucking have to knowing what WxS's fucking endgoal towards the story is, is fucking WL which....TELLS US NOTHING

At least with VBS we know that they're goal is to go even further beyond and conquer the whole world, that is a developpement of their goal.

What I'm saying is I don't know what the fuck colorpalet is cooking wiht WxS but I feel like i'm a fucking twilight zone reading the way they're writing WxS now because I can't be the only one feeling insane at how weird all of this is

#wxs #wonderlandxshowtime #project sekai #pjsk #prsk #wxs prsk #wxs pjsk #reading this fucking unit feels like i'm stuck in a strange hell dimension where everything just feels like foreshadowing or some kind of #fucking wink colorpalet is oding at me like it's not the first time they've done insane foreshadowing with wxs #in fact its the norm #i wish i could know what goes on in their head when they write these clowns cos i swear i can't understand what the fuck they're doing #like with other units i can geyt like a general idea #but like WxS ????#they could go literally anywhere with them #i guess going to broadway could be like a huge goal but like ?????#it doesn't FEEL WxS yknow ?#especially after the disbandement arc which we technically haven't gotten really a conclusion for because...Emu's still gonna come back ??#So like what do we do when Emu comes back to Pheonix Wonderland ?????????????#Cos I do think WxS would want to come back to perform but ESPECIALLY nene's dreams are kind of incompatible with that #cos we know she wants to perform all over the world like her idol #It's just #I guess I'm waiting to see what kind of unholy bullshit colorpalet has for us after the pain that was the disbandement arc #i was also tired while writing this so if this seems extremely rambly thats why #i'm just losing my mind

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