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pellucid-constellations · 4 months

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Of Oblivious Minds (3)

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: You're positive Azriel is in love with Elain. It seems so obvious. But Cassian is laughing at you and suddenly nothing makes quite so much sense anymore.

Word count: 2.3k

Warnings: Azriel's POV (it's a warning here), angst

a/n: I am blown away by all of you and your support!! I really love writing for this fandom omg. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy ♡ Let me know what you think!! I'll get the next update up soon!

Part 1, Part 2, Part 4

Azriel was losing his ever-loving mind.

A few weeks ago, everything was fine. Not optimal, but fine.

He knew his mate, and that was more than could be said for most of Prythian. But even more than that, he could love her from afar. He could make small remarks and catch the smiles they would elicit. He could send his shadows after her on her walks home, protecting her even though she had the entire Inner Circle looking out for her wellbeing. He could buy the ridiculously expensive pastries she loved and stock the kitchens with them, listening for the small gasps she let out each time she found them.

He could talk to you, listen to you, love you in his small ways, even if it wasn’t the ways in which he longed for.

Because it wasn’t the right time yet. You hadn’t felt the bond for yourself.

So, yes—admittedly, Azriel had not been in the most optimal position with you. But it was leaps and bounds better than the purgatory you were subjecting him to now.

He mulled over his current reality as he sat opposite to you at the dining table. He had had to snag the seat from Mor, ripping the chair from her hand in an uncharacteristic show of aggression, and you hadn’t so much as looked up from your plate. He would’ve rather fought for the seats beside you, but Rhys and Cassian had been sitting before he even entered the room. So now he fought for your eyes and was too far away to offer any lingering, accidental touches.

Not that you would reciprocate either.

You were avoiding him, and Azriel was at his wit's end trying to decipher why.

His shadows had relayed dismal reports, only whispering the words sad and alone and contemplative into his ears each morning. He could have guessed as much, if the display of emotions he had tried to comfort you through all those days ago told him anything.

But Gods, did they really tell him nothing, because you hadn’t spoken to him since.

“—that is certainly something to consider. Y/n, would you be open to the job?”

“Hm?” you hummed, and Azriel watched as your eyes flickered over to Rhys in one abrupt movement. “Sorry, what?”

Rhys raised a brow lined with humor, and Azriel realized he hadn’t been listening to the conversation either. “Helion has extended an invitation to the Night Court—for diplomatic relations and all. It’s mostly a weekend stay for show, but he has quite an extensive library. Feyre and I went last time so it would only be fair if—”

“Yes,” you nodded, the most emotion Azriel had seen on your face in days blooming into a joyous array. “Of course, I would love to go. Are you kidding?”

Rhys chuckled. “I figured. Helion has been quite eager to get you to come as well. Seemed like the perfect time.”

Azriel didn’t miss the way the High Lord’s eyes shone with something other than mirth as he looked closer at the scholar… as he inspected your facade the same way Azriel had been for the past week.

“When can I leave?”

Something in Azriel scratched to a halt. “She’s to go alone?”

Feyre offered the spymaster a soft smile from the other side of the table. “If she wishes. Helion’s invitation was open-ended.”

“Take the vacation, I say,” Mor piped in, wine glass raised in a solitary toast.

“Or… you could take me,” Cassian grinned beside you, jostling you in a playful grip.

You sent a scoff his way. “Aren’t you banned?”

“No, actually. I’m banned from Summer Court, which is completely unrelated.”

A short laugh trickled from your lips. It wasn’t a full one, not like the ones Azriel was so used to—the ones he basked in—but it was a laugh, nonetheless.

He felt the way his eyes seemed to follow the crescendo of it, his blinks in time with the sweet sound.

He committed it to memory.

“Right, well let’s keep you away from neighboring courts as much as possible so we can avoid a repeat of that, okay?”

Something like a grin fought at the side of Azriel’s mouth at your quip.

Cassian prattled on. Something about unjust rules or ridiculous high lords—Azriel wasn’t paying attention. He was too caught up in you and the way you were so close to meeting his gaze.

“Perhaps she shouldn’t go alone,” Azriel spoke up, interrupting his brother’s spiel. You still didn’t look at him, instead turning to catch Rhys’s response.

“Azriel, I can assure you this is a safe visit,” Rhys offered. He knew. Everyone seemed to know but you. “It’s hardly even business. It’s more of a vacation. I’ve been shoving century-old relics in her face for the past few months. She deserves time to herself, don’t you think?”

His High Lord was speaking in code. A terrible, frustrating code that really meant, “give her some distance.”

Azriel had had enough of distance.

He nodded his head all the same.

And then, despite all odds, you looked at him.

You looked at him and it was as if the air had been knocked from his lungs. As if he had been wrung out and stretched thin and every bone in his body forced him to sit up straighter. You were looking at him and Azriel couldn’t conceptualize the way the spectrum in his chest moved so quickly from utter relief to the brink of desolation.

Because you looked at him as if you were broken. A sad—such a sad—smile graced your face, one he had never had the displeasure of seeing before, and he wanted to wipe it away. He wanted to kiss it from your face with soft touches and reassuring whispers and that was startling for Azriel because he usually kept his overwhelming urge to kiss you at bay.

“I’ll bring you back a souvenir,” is all you said. Such simple words to accompany an expression that sent him reeling.

“Thank you,” he replied, with the most sincerity he could muster.

And then he held your gaze as it became downcast. He craned his neck to catch every last second of your eyes as they turned back down to the table.

It was hours later that Azriel found himself in the townhouse, boots creating an indent in the office carpet. Rhys sat just feet away from him, leaning back against the desk, waiting for the Shadowsinger to erupt.

“I would like for you to position your spies further into Autumn. I know you have a few that have integrated into the court, but I need more intel on Eris and his plans.”

“Of course.”

“You can take out any currently residing in Day. Just for the next week or so. With y/n going, she can report any happenings.”

A muscle in Azriel’s jaw jumped. “Would that be wise?”

Rhys stared back at his brother, expression giving nothing away. “Why wouldn’t it be? Do you not trust y/n’s word?”

Azriel’s wings were taut against his back. In truth, he hadn’t felt relaxed in days. With you leaving, that tension would surely pull him into thin compliance.

“Obviously I trust her word, Rhysand.”

“Rhysand? What have I done to earn your grievance?” the High Lord asked, crossing his arms over his chest, still the perfect picture of calm.

Azriel was a juxtaposition before him as he clenched his hands and replied, “You already know.”

“Do I know? I’m not sure you’ve been clear or honest with anyone. Y/n especially.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Rhys bent at the elbow and rubbed a restless hand across his jaw. Azriel ignored the movement in favor of holding eye contact with the High Lord. Azriel was being stubborn, he knew that, but there was no other way to be.

He needed to be consistent and reliable. He needed to be a pillar for his family to lean on, and you were part of that. He wasn’t going to take that away from you—to be selfish and call upon a mating bond you hadn't even been made aware of yet.

He wasn’t going to squander your friendship in the hopes of something more.

There was a chance, no matter how much the prospect pained him to consider, that you wouldn’t want the bond. You had never hinted at wanting more with the spymaster, so there was no telling how you might react to the cauldron blessing you with a union. You could reject it, and with it would go your friendship.

Just the thought sent ice through Azriel’s veins.

Truth be told, he had never shown you many signs either. When the bond snapped months ago, it had taken time for Azriel to come to terms with the truth. He had ruminated on it amidst many sleepless nights, watched you from a new perspective over many dinners, and contemplated the path that had led him to you.

And then he had regretted. Cauldron had he regretted.

The feeling still lingered, a reminder of each woman he had taken to his bed before you. All of the fae that had meant nothing, and even the ones that had boarded on something, he wished he could do away with.

Because you had been privy to them all. He knew you had witnessed a few late-night trysts, and even worse, that you had watched him pine after Mor for a century. It all seemed so frivolous now; it all paled in comparison to you.

And the absolute worst part of it all is that he knew.

He knew how easy it would be to fall in love with you from the start, so he pretended not to notice.

He threw himself into impractical longing and meaningless lovers and he pretended that it didn’t hurt to look at you.

The bond had only cemented his foolishness.

He hardly had a chance with you by the time it snapped.

“Late night then, Az?”

You had teased him over breakfast just days before the bond had snapped for him, a small smile on your face as you lounged at the table early in the morning. At the time, Azriel had bit the inside of his cheek and reeled in his snarkiness. He had avoided your gaze, avoided the robe that barely covered your nightgown, and made himself toast in silence. He had already coaxed the blonde fae out of his bed, and he hadn’t needed a reminder of the woman he had been imagining all throughout the night.

Because that had been something else he opted to ignore—that he pictured you, imagined you, at all times.

It snapped three days later. He had been accompanying you through Velaris. “Shopping for fun,” you had said, “and I hate to go alone.”

The only thing Azriel had taken home that day was a gaping hole in his chest and the knowledge that lying to himself had brought him nothing but pain.

The months following were different.

Everything was different.

But for you, he had come to the grim realization, nothing was different at all. He was still Azriel, your friend Azriel, who was secretive and private and cared from afar. You still pictured him as a man who chose his lovers based on convenience and quick practicality even though he hadn’t so much as looked at another woman since your emotions began flowing through his chest.

Gods, your emotions. They were so positive, so addicting, he could sit back and live his days through you until the end of time. You had so much unrestricted joy coursing through you—so much curiosity and delight. Part of Azriel dreaded the day you did recognize the bond; it would dim the connection to you.

That day in the library had been the first time the bond had chafed against his lungs. He had felt the earthquake beneath his feet and thought nothing of it, but then your fear punctured his being and he had run so fast his wings ached.

And then you started having nightmares, ones he couldn’t fix, and Azriel began to feel like he was losing you. Like the bond was withering and eroding within him and you along with it.

“How long, Azriel?” Rhys’s voice cut through the air with a harshness.

The shadowsinger breathed through his nose, jaw tight.

“Tell me. Tell me how long you’re going to keep this up for.”

“You don’t understand, Rhys,” came Azriel’s low reply. “None of you do.”

The High Lord scoffed. “Right, because I had it so easy with Feyre. Az, mates are complicated—”

“Don’t,” Azriel breathed. A dangerous shakiness accompanied the word.

“Explain it to me. Help me to understand how—”

“There was nothing for you to lose!” The rise of the shadowsinger’s voice sent Rhys into silence. “There was nothing! You hadn’t known Feyre for three centuries—hadn’t known what it was like to see her cry over worthless males or laugh until she was doubled over. You didn’t have time to memorize the sound of her voice or understand how it felt to lose that small piece of her. Because she won’t even talk to me anymore and—”

Azriel cut himself off, moving for the first time since he entered office. He paced, the motion of his feet doing little to dispel the tension from the air or from his body. Azriel tugged a hand through his hair, his shadows following the aggressive pull and weaving through the strands.

“How long?” Rhys asked again, but this time, Azriel knew that he was asking a different question. One that even he himself had avoided answering.

The shadowsinger paused. His next words were tainted and his voice cracked.

“I think forever.”

Part 4

#azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel acotar #azriel shadowsinger #azriel fanfic #acotar fanfiction #azriel #azriel angst

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prythianpages · 6 days

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NIGHT MASTERLIST

A Z R I E L

↠ A Court of Shadows & Moonlight | rhy's sister oc

series masterlist Summary: Daughter of the Night Court’s High Lord. Half Illyrian. Half High Fae. Rhysand’s little sister. A Dreamer. Only few know her as Valeria and only one knows her truth. She is the moon, a lonely girl cratered by imperfections, and he is her night, the one who helps her shine bright.

↠ Give 'Em Hell | beron's daughter oc

series masterlist Summary: Beron Vanserra is a man with many sinful secrets but there is one that desires to punish him. His daughter. His true firstborn and heir to the Autumn Court.

↠ A Field of Dandelions | witch reader

series masterlist Summary: Your High Lady calls upon you. requesting a remedy that only you know how to make. It requires specific ingredients found between the courts of spring and autumn and you're in need of an escort. Unfortunately for you, she assigns her Shadowsinger to accompany you. The Shadowsinger who hates you...or so you thought.

↠ I've Been Waiting For You ☁︎ `♡´

[read here] [bonus] Summary: After centuries of waiting, Azriel finally meets the one he's been longing for. His mate. (this is kinda inspired by Alice & Jasper from twilight.)

↠ Be Safe ☁︎

[read here] summary: you are on your way to Day Court when Azriel stops you. After the two of you fall victim to Cassian's and Mor's teasing, Azriel realizes why he can't just let you go.

↠ When I Kissed the Teacher ☁︎

[read here] Summary: After crushing on Azriel for almost a year, Nesta dares you to kiss him during Valkyrie training.

↠ In My Eyes | Rhysand's Sister reader`♡´

[read here] Summary: Azriel has lost you once and when unseen circumstances bring you back to life, he will not lose you again. Even if it means going against his family.

C A S S I A N

↠ Stuck on You

series masterlist Summary: Cassian can't seem to forget about you since the night you met seven years ago. He thought he would never see you again but when he does, he's determined to make you his. This time for good.

↠ Lay All Your Love On Me ☪☁︎

[read here] [bonus] summary: Cassian is your best friend and best friend’s don’t thirst after one another. Best friends don’t get jealous. Best friends also don’t fall in love with one another. But you did.

↠ When I Kissed the Teacher ☁︎

[read here] summary: After weeks of flirting and one drunken confession, you decide to finally own up to your feelings for Cassian.

R H Y S A N D

↠ Wanna Be Yours | Dawn court reader

series masterlist Summary: When the Night Court and Dawn Court strike a deal, healers in exchange for Illyrian training, you rush at the opportunity to leave your home. You plan to keep a low profile but upon meeting the High Lord of night, your efforts are futile. He takes an instant liking to you and is set on being yours.

↠ The Sun and the Moon ☁︎

summary: Rhysand wants to write you the perfect poem for Valentine's Day and calls Cassian and Azriel for help. [read here]

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azriels-angels · 1 year

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Pain, Pain, Go Away

𓆩♡𓆪M a s t e r l i s t 𓆩♡𓆪

Azriel x Rhysand's Sister!Reader Smut

Based on this ask. Let's all thank Lia for writing while ovulating. I do deeply apologize for this being so late. This fic means so much to me, so I wanted it to be absolutely perfect. Check the warnings, angels. Enjoy💋

Warnings: Smut/period sex.

You wanted to die. You've never been in such immense pain before. Even though you've had your biannual menstrual cycles for nearly a century now, you've never gotten used to that gut-wrenching pain that made you thrash and groan into your bed. Not to mention the never-ending nausea and back cramps that came with it.

You'd decided to accompany Rhysand, Azriel, and Cassian to the training camps today, wanting to see your friend Inara, the only female shop owner in Illyria. You'd thought that your visit would be over before your cycle came, but as soon as you felt that first cramp strike while conversing with your friend over tea and muffins, you knew you were doomed. The males you loved dearly had immediately ended their visit at the sound of your first cry. Rhysand flew you back to the House of Wind while Azriel and Cassian raked through the shops of Velaris to find the sweet goodies that helped soothe your cravings.

Rhysand placed a cool, damp cloth over your forehead, gently padding the beads of sweat that had formed from your distress.

"Thank you," You hummed after sighing in relief. The cold cloth did little to whisk away your fever, though, brought a sense of comfort, nonetheless.

"No need to thank me, y/n," Your brother's smug grin arrived as he continued to press the cloth over your eyelids. "Who else will tend to the sweet damsels in distress of our Court?"

As much as you tried to let out a laugh, you could only send him a tight-lipped smile before wincing at the new wave of pain that coursed through your womb. You clutched onto the soft, silk, violet sheets that covered your abdomen before groaning impatiently.

"When will they get here?"

"Soon," Rhys gave you an assuring smile, leaving the cloth atop your head before folding his hands behind his back. "Are you sure you want to wait for sweets?"

You let out a growl before glaring up at Rhysand, threat clear in your eyes. "You see the state that I'm in. Do you really want to witness what I'm like without my necessities?"

Your brother tipped his head back as he let out a throaty laugh. You could be in your bathing chambers, soaking into your large warm bath to ease your tense muscles. Though, you were desperately waiting on the arrival of your treats before doing so.

As if summoned by the mere thought of them, you could hear the two Illyrians shuffling behind your bedroom door. The golden handle began to twitch before it stopped, a small yelp coming soon after.

"You knock on a lady's door before entering," A muffled voice reprimanded from behind the door before you heard a firm knock.

Azriel.

You let out a delighted squeal, pleased that your treats finally came.

"Come in, you bastards," Rhysand called as the males entered your bedroom. The scent of your menstrual cycle hit Cassian and Azriel full force. The former shook it off much quicker than the latter, who ironically was nearing his rut.

"We didn't know what to get you specifically. So, we got you everything we could find." Cassian sent you a nervous grin, gently setting the pack of treats over your stomach before walking back to where Azriel stood near the door as you began to dive into the various chocolates and truffles.

"You two act as if I'm ill," You popped a raspberry chocolate egg into your mouth before smirking at the two very uncomfortable Illyrians. "I won't contaminate you, I promise,"

It was the first time Azriel and Cassian had seen you during your cycle. Any other time, you'd be locked in your room, the only male visiting you being your brother. You'd guess by their reactions that you were the only menstruating female Cassian and Azriel had been around so far.

Cassian let out a small scoff before standing on the other side of your bed, across from Rhysand. Azriel remained at the front of the bed by the door, his shadows seeming darker than usual and his wings tucked in tight behind him. But you only brushed it off, blaming it on his naturally stoic nature as you continued eating the chocolates. Cassian began to fold your midnight black hair into a simple braid, trying to find any way to help you.

"I didn't know you could braid," You quirked a brow at the war general.

"Don't smile at me like that. All three of us learned how in the camps. It's mandatory to learn how to make and tie rope,"

You let out a giggle, making Azriel's lips slightly rise though it vanished as soon as it came. Once Cassian had teasingly shoved you with his wing, pure territorial instincts warmed Azriel's blood. To say that he was attracted to you was an understatement. Azriel loved you differently than the way his brothers loved you. He loved you romantically and adoringly but kept it all to himself. It was too complicated for Azriel to let his feelings be known to you. It would also make things quite awkward between him and Rhysand. So he silently pinned after you, keeping all of his desires and fantasies of you in a hidden corner of his mind.

However, with Azriel's rut coming in a week, it was times like this where his primal desire to hide you from the rest of the world and fuck you till satisfied came in heavy. It also didn't do him or his shadows justice when your natural scent, mixed in with your menstrual blood, smacked him in the face once he entered your room. The shadows, of course, were mesmerized by the scent as well, immediately demanding that Azriel let them play with you, though not in the way you were familiar.

By the Cauldron, he needed to leave. Now.

Azriel swallowed, trying to clear his mind as he turned to Rhysand, reminding him of the meeting with Devlon and the new troops. The reason why they were there earlier this morning.

"The meeting still stands. It starts in half an hour,"

Rhys gazed at Azriel before looking back down at you.

"I can't leave her here alone,"

You slowly got out of your bed and stood, placing an arm across your womb, trying to refrain from cringing as another wave of pain sank its claws into your belly. "You go back to the camp. I was going to draw a bath right now anyways,"

Azriel nearly sighed in relief, mentally thanking the Mother.

"Azriel can stay with me," You looked up at the Shadowsinger, grinning.

Azriel's eyes widened. He looked like he was about to protest before Rhysand had cut in.

"The three of us have to be there, y/n. It'll be best if we reschedule,"

"No, this is an important meeting. You must go. Besides, we all know Az is just there to kick ass in case anything gets out of hand, which I'm sure it won't,"

Your brother only hummed, thinking it over. "I suppose you're right," Rhys then looked over at Azriel, who was trying to remain calm at the idea. "You don't mind looking after her, do you?"

Azriel's lips parted in defeat, though when he looked into your eyes, he knew he couldn't refuse you.

"I don't mind."

Rhysand nodded in approval. "Then it's settled. Cass and I shall be back this afternoon,"

Your brother sent Azriel a look of warning."Be gentle with her." The pointed gaze seemed to say before he placed a warm kiss on your temple and winnowed him and Cassian out of your bedroom and back to the Illyrian camps. Your violet eyes met Azriel's hazel ones before you blushed under his silent stare. Your wings slightly quivered in flattery.

You and the shadowsinger were alone now, which rarely ever happened. You'd always been accompanied by Rhysand whenever you were around his two other friends. Never intentionally. It just always ended up that way.

"I'm sorry for taking you away from your duties," You sent Azriel an apologetic grin. "I just don't think I can trust Cassian with my treats while I bathe,"

Azriel huffed, shoulders slightly relaxing as the sincerity in his eyes nearly made you melt into the floor. "Don't apologize. My duties mean little to nothing to me if you're in pain,"

But even with how earnest he sounded, you could tell that Azriel was still uneasy. As if the smell of you menstruating offended him.

You tried not to let your wings sag from discomfort and embarrassment as you made your way to your connecting bathroom. "I'm going to draw myself a bath now,"

Azriel gave you a curt nod and turned to stare out the window with his hands tucked behind his back, the shadows being the only thing that still watched you.

For Cauldron's sake, Azriel couldn't even look at you.

You let out a small sigh as you closed the bathroom door behind you; before taking in a sharp breath as another cramp took you by surprise.

"Fuck this," You muttered, peeling out of your leggings and Rhysand's oversized black knit sweater, leaving it in a pile next to the large tub.

You turned the faucet all the way to the left, ensuring that you'll have a nice, steaming bath to ease your tense muscles. Thoughts of the male who was only a wall away began to flood your mind as you climbed into the large tub, waiting for it to fill.

Cassian was a brother to you in the same way Rhysand was. You had the same affinity with Azriel too, but at least for you, it seemed much deeper than that. Yes, you joke around, vent, and spend time with Azriel as you'd do with Rhys and Cass, but it was still different. No one else's presence brought you that unshakeable sense of security, comfort, and unconditional love. That was why you picked Azriel to stay. You wanted—needed him in times of distress like this. But he wasn't close enough. Being only a few feet away from Azriel did nothing to help the ache in your chest that called out for him.

You let out a frustrated whimper; the water now reached your shoulders as you pumped jasmine-scented soap into the bath, making bubbles shape around you. Just as you slowly began to relax, a knock vibrated against your bathroom door, startling you from your tranquil state. The water and bubbles around you splashed, some of it overflowing onto the floor as you let out a groan.

"Y/n? Are you okay?" Azriel's deep, muffled voice came from behind the door. The way he huskily purred your name left you clenching your thighs together; your body responded with a line of blood flushing out of your sex and into the warm water.

"I'm doing better," You swallowed as anxiety seeped into your skin, your wings instinctively stretched to cover your chest. "Why?"

Azriel shuffled behind the door before his voice rumbled again. "I heard you . . . whine,"

You ran your hands over your face before furiously tugging on the strands of your hair, trying to reign in the groan of embarrassment threatening to escape your throat.

"Yes! My back is just a bit sore."

Lie!

Horny liar!

Azriel cleared his throat, mustering the courage to step out of his comfort zone, for he took his assignment to make sure you were comfortable very seriously. "Would you like a massage?"

Your head shot up from your hands; you nearly choked at the suggestion.

"From you?"

You could hear Azriel chuckle before saying, "Yes, from me—if you're alright with that, of course,"

A back massage did sound heavenly right now. But it was being offered by a male. Though, that male was Azriel. And who were you to refuse such a gift from the Mother?

"Yes," You sat in the tub a bit straighter. "I would like that if you don't mind,"

"I don't." Azriel grinned to himself though his heart thundered against his ribcage. The shadows, ever impatient, began slithering under the door. "May I come in?"

"Yes," You confirmed, bracing yourself to let Azriel see you in such an exposed state.

As soon as Azriel opened the door, his eyes and shadows honed in on you and you only. You sat in the tub, wings cocooning your body as your back faced him. Azriel couldn't help but let his eyes trail from the tips of your damp wing, so small in comparison to his, to the bubbles on your exposed back, your skin gleaming against the faelights. Azriel stopped his ogling as soon as you turned your head to look at him; cautious eyes studied him and the distance between you.

Azriel began taking tentative steps towards you, maintaining eye contact before dropping to his knees. That addicting smell of your bleeding sex drafted up Azriel's nose once again, though muted by the water, making it more bearable than before.

"May I?" Azriel gestured to your back. The shadows tested the unset boundaries as well, they slowly inched over the tub as they and Azriel waited for your permission.

"Yes," You dipped your chin, splitting your hair in two, placing each half over a shoulder. "You may,"

Azriel glanced down at your bare skin; the animalistic need to sink his teeth into your soft flesh came in heavy as his scarred thumbs slowly, gently began to draw circles into your shoulder blades. "You're in complete control. Say the word, and I'll stop,"

You only nodded, sighing at the feel of your muscles getting rung out by your brother's best friend. You tried and failed not to blush at the thought as you absentmindedly played with Azriel's shadows.

"Is this good?" Azriel asked after a few minutes of his rough hands gently pressing into your skin.

The massage was beautiful, just as the male who gave it. It felt so good that you had caught yourself twice on the edge of drifting off to sleep. However, even though Azriel was closer than before, even with his divine caresses, the pain of needing to be touched and pleased in more intimate places still drove you mad. If anything, the ache worsened, as you now wanted to be forced into submission, fucked out of your mind, pleasured until you couldn't—

Breathe. You must breathe. You are still in the presence of a male, a wildly handsome male at that.

At the slight reminder of Azriel's beauty, you couldn't stop yourself from letting out a small, closed-lip moan from leaving your throat.

Everything went still. Azriel's hands paused their ministrations, the shadows hung still in the air, and you froze as if the water had shocked you. Two long seconds went by before Azriel swallowed, continuing the massage.

Azriel forced a grin as he murmured, "That good, huh?"

You let out a breath, a small scoff as a ripple of heat smacked your cheeks and neck, coloring them pink.

Stupid.

Stupid, horny idiot.

"Yes, it feels very nice," You refrained from banging your head against the side of the tub, knocking yourself unconscious to save yourself from further embarrassment.

Azriel only hummed, skimming his rough thumbs lower before stopping at your shoulder blades, prodding at the muscle there. You let yourself lean back into Azriel's touch, the dam of your humiliation being released slowly with each exhale.

More minutes had gone by, and though you were no longer ashamed of the slip-up you made, your skin had still tinted with blooming shades of red. Your need to be fucked recklessly only worsened as you couldn't help but start to arch your back into Azriel's tender touches. At the slightly suggestive move, an inciting, wicked idea had popped into your mind.

"Azriel?" You purred, feeling your nipples begin to harden. "Can you go a bit lower, please,"

Azriel, oblivious to the trap you had set for him, only nodded before his thumbs advanced to your lower back. You let out a loud moan, arching your back further into the tub, submerging your breasts entirely into the water.

"Gods, just like that," Your provocative tone had Azriel's cock stirring in his pants, his hands slightly faltering as he tried to focus on the task at hand: making you comfortable. Though executing that task was quite challenging when you were arching your back far enough to expose your ass over the barrier of water and bubbles.

Azriel's shadows began to trace along the curves of your waist and hips as if taunting Azriel, beckoning him to grasp that delicious, uncovered ass of yours, maybe even tease the puckered hole and insert a finger or two. Azriel clenched his jaw in frustration, accidentally pressing too hard into your skin, making you to hiss in pain.

"Shit, are you okay?" Azriel immediately stopped his rubbing, trying to get a look at your face as he mentally cursed himself for being so careless. "I'm so sorry, I d—"

"Please don't apologize, Azriel," You breathed; the sexual tension that suffocated you and Azriel's more demanding touches drove you mad. You turned your head to look over your shoulder, a small, inviting smile lifting your lips as you made eye contact with him. "I like it rough,"

Azriel's eyes darkened, thumbs rhythmically pushing harder into your skin as his gaze flickered to your lips. "Good to know."

You only hummed in response, still looking at Azriel as if you were awaiting his next move. You wanted him to make a move. Azriel did not miss the challenging glint in your eye or the devious smirk you wore, and suddenly, everything clicked into place.

You liked it rough.

You wanted it rough. You wanted to be touched.

It was wrong. What they were doing—what they were about to do was wrong. But Azriel did not care. He'd spent too long silently pinning after you, never making his desires known in fear of offending his closest friend. But what Rhys didn't know wouldn't kill him. It would be their little secret.

You felt more than you saw. Azriel's demeanor had changed immensely. A dark, compelling power had cocooned your bathroom like a thick quilt. The shadows seemed to turn a shade darker, almost completely black as they surrounded you, getting ready to strike. Every nerve screamed at you to run, to hide before an unset boundary got crossed. But you knew that you no longer had the upper hand anymore, no longer had the power to run or hide. The power imbalance hung heavy in the air around you and Azriel. You became the prey, and him, the hunter as quick as flipping a light switch. But the submissive, more needy side of you had grown to find it thrilling.

"Y/n?" Nothing but pure dominance and authority laced Azriel's voice as he began to slide his marred hands up and down your waist.

"Yes, Azriel?" You held Azriel's gaze, not backing down just yet.

Azriel rose an eyebrow, taking your stare as a challenge.

"I've heard through the grapevine of a common symptom that females experience when menstruating,"

"Oh?" You smirked, urging him on.

By the gods, did Azriel want to wipe that smirk off your face with a good spanking. Punishing the sass right out of you is what he deemed appropriate for your attitude and what he'd take utmost joy in doing. But tonight wasn't about that. It was about you and making you comfortable and relaxed.

"Is it true, that when on your cycle, your breasts are prone to become heavy and sore?"

Your lips fell out of a smirk as you gulped, not knowing what to say; if you should reveal such a thing. But your body seemed to betray you. You felt yourself slipping into submission as you couldn't help but nod in response to the question Azriel had asked.

"Interesting," A knowing grin smoothed over Azriel's face, satisfied with your reply before he pressed on the matter. "I assume then that your breasts are sore?"

Your lips parted, mortified that you were being asked such a thing, especially by Azriel, yet you still let up another nod. Azriel hummed, mock contemplation as his scarred hands rose again, thumbs stopping right under your sternum.

"Then I suppose it would be best that I massage your sore, heavy breasts rather than your back," Azriel watched you slowly break, his grin deepening. "Would you like that?"

You only sighed in desperation before giving up yet another pathetic nod.

A low growl erupted from Azriel's chest making you whimper and throb at the dominance it carried. Azriel was not pleased, to say the least with your nonverbal bullshit.

"Yes!" You began to fret, knowing that you were treading hot waters. "Yes, I—I would like that,"

Azriel cocked an eyebrow.

"Please," You added, hoping that you'd soothe over Azriel's irritation.

Azriel smirked, pulling you by the waist till your back was flush against his leathers.

"Good girl," Azriel murmured into your ear as the shadows moved your hair to the side. You let your wings flare out to the sides, revealing your breasts to Azriel as he glanced down over your shoulder.

A low growl from his chest elicited goosebumps to rise across your skin as his thumbs flicked over your hard nipples. "So beautiful," Azriel breathed as you moaned back at the small pleasure.

You couldn't believe that this was happening. Couldn't believe that Azriel was playing with one of the most intimate parts of your body. The thought alone made you whimper, and it only got drawn out longer as scarred hands cupped your breasts, kneading the tight muscle there.

"How does that feel, angel?" Azriel ran his too perfectly plump lips up the side of your neck, moving your breasts in circular motions.

"Good, very nice," You sighed, turning your head to skim your nose against his as your violet eyes flickered to Azriel's lips. "May I kiss you?"

Azriel grinned at how gentle, how delicate you were being before he pressed his lips to yours, his only response to your request. You let yourself melt into the soft, closed-mouthed kiss; completely savoring it. And though it was not your first kiss, it definitely would be the one you'd remember forever. You lifted your hands out of the water and over Azriel's marred ones, still palming your breasts.

Something wet and smooth glided over your bottom lip—Azriel's tongue glided over your lip, asking to be invited in. You happily obliged, parting your lips slightly as you let Azriel explore your mouth with his tongue. You teasingly suckled on the thick, wet muscle, making you think about other parts of Azriel that you'd love to suck on.

At the small yet effective reminder of Azriel's cock, you couldn't help but slightly pull away from the kiss before biting down on Azriel's bottom lip. You earned a broken groan in return.

"I heard something through the grapevine too, about menstrual cycles," You breathed as you took Azriel in. His cheeks were tinted pink and his lips were swollen, his pupils were blown wide too, but you'd figured that your appearance mirrored his as well.

Azriel pressed his forehead to yours, his massage on your breasts had seized, yet he still kept them in a firm grip.

"I heard that pleasure—sexual pleasure helps ease the cramps,"

It was indeed new information that you heard from your friend Inara, the last thing she had whispered to you before Rhysand winnowed you back to Velaris. And though your cramps had long gone ceased thanks to the bath, you'd never miss the opportunity to bed the shadowsinger. Even if you bled.

Azriel's intense stare inspected you, understanding what you were implying at. He didn't want to fuck up now, didn't want to push you too far and make you uncomfortable.

"Is that something you'd like to try?" Azriel quirked a brow, letting go of your breasts as he soothingly rubbed your sides up and down. "With me?"

You placed a hand back onto your lap, the other slowly raising to caress Azriel's jaw. "Az, I've always wanted to do something like this with you,"

Heat warmed your cheeks at the confession, and Azriel actually seemed relieved at what you had revealed.

"Good," Azriel ran his hands over your hair before they tenderly held your face. "I don't think I can hold in my craving for you any longer,"

In an instant, Azriel slid an arm under your legs and the other against your back, underneath your wings before lifting you out of the tub. You let out an eager yelp as you wrapped your arms around Azriel's neck. Water and bubbles left a trail behind the two of you as Azriel carried you back into your bedroom, before gently setting you down on your bed. You were about to protest once he began to pull back, but immediately reigned in your fuss as you saw the shadows carry one of your bath towels, handing it to Azriel. He had easily lifted your hips and placed the towel over your bedding, underneath your back before a thick line of blood began to ooze out of your entrance.

"The blood does not disturb you?" You sat yourself up on your elbows, looking down at Azriel as he got on his knees before you. He let out a dark chuckle, hooking his arms around your thighs to yank you closer as he became face-to-face with your wet, bloody sex. Azriel nearly moaned as the scent of your arousal mixed in with your menstrual blood clouded his senses once again.

It was his undoing.

Azriel looked up at you, hazel eyes meeting your violet ones as his tongue darted out. He licked a long stripe from your hole up to your clit before latching his lips onto the sensitive bud; all while maintaining eye contact with you. It was an answer in itself that Azriel did not mind the blood one bit. Your eyes rolled back as you let out a breathy moan, sliding your arms down to lay back and enjoy the pleasure that Azriel was inflicting upon you.

It was when Azriel's teeth had slid over your clit when you squealed, squirming into the bed, causing Azriel to firmly grip your hips in place. Seeing you become so responsive to his small touches made him chuckle into your heat, the sound vibrating against your folds as your moans and cries grew louder. Azriel dipped his mouth lower, letting up on your clit as he drove his tongue into your blood-soaked cunt. You let out a strangled moan as you began to lift your hips with each curl of Azriel's tongue against your sensitive walls.

Your eyes were closed shut, unable to see a few of Azriel's shadows drifting down your belly button before wrapping themselves around your erect clit, the others flicking and pinching at your nipples, not wanting one inch of you untouched.

"Oh, gods, Azriel!" You nearly moaned, hands flying to tug onto Azriel's dark locks. "Az, it's too much,"

Though Azriel did not think it was too much for you at all. Especially when you hadn't even found release yet. But Azriel could do this all day and night. Though when a shadow crept down to his ear, informing him that Cassian and Rhysand were on their way, Azriel quicked the pace of his tongue slithering and curling into your sex. The taste of your arousal and sweet, metallic blood made Azriel nearly drool. It compelled him to have more, to take more. There was no way he could ever go back from this.

Azriel looked up at you, crying and withering into your bed, a beautiful sight forever imprinted in his mind before he slurped you up till his mouth was filled with your blood and arousal. Azriel withdrew his tongue from your cunt and gave her a sweet, open-mouthed kiss before his eyes flickered to yours. Azriel glided his tongue down your folds, watching and waiting for your reaction as he gently licked your puckered hole.

You yelped at the foreign sensation Azriel's tongue had brought you down there, a place you never thought was a spot for pleasure. At your quick, anticipated response, Azriel sent you a knowing smirk. Your blood was smeared across his lips, and his teeth shone with the bright, thick, sticky red fluid. You had almost found release at the sight. Almost. It was when Azriel had continued to lick your puckerhole before sliding two of his rough, scarred fingers into your cunt that caused your thighs to uncontrollably shake around his head.

You felt like such a whore; letting your brother's best friend worship you, finger-fuck you, and play with your ass while you bled made you feel so dirty. You were probably no better than the females at the brothel. Though you felt no shame. If anything you were grateful, proud that it was Azriel who had easily forced you into submission without him even giving you his cock yet.

The shadows' featherlight yet effective torture on your nipples and clit, and Azriel's tongue prodding and teasing your arse hole while his scarred fingers stuffed your cunt full made you see stars, made you cry and scream into your pillow as you felt your release bubbling to the surface.

"Azriel!" You cried out, though that only spurred the shadowsinger on further as he curved and rammed his fingers into you harder, abusing that perfect spot inside of you. "Az! I'm—I—"

You could not think, couldn't even say a single word that wasn't Azriel's name. On their own accord, your hips started to desperately hump the air as your cunt began to quiver against Azriel's fingers, pursuing your release. Sensing how close you were, Azriel curled his fingers against you one last time before forcing his tongue into your taut hole, flaring his wings in preparation.

The same time Azriel heard Cassian and Rhysand winnow back into the House of Wind was the same time you had found that euphoric high, cumming with a screech of Azriel's name as your pussy fluttered and throbbed around his digits. Azriel quickly withdrew his blood-soaked fingers from your cunt and shoved them into your mouth to shut you up. Any other time, Azriel would have loved to hear you scream his name, though not while your older brother was only a floor below them.

You removed your hands from Azriel's head, happily wrapping them around his wrists as you suckled the metallic taste of your blood and arousal clean from his fingers. The shadows had let up from your clit and breasts, now trying their best to soothe and comfort you by wiping your pleasured tears away and playing with your hair. Though Azriel had continued to explore and stretch your arse with his tongue, too entranced by the feel of you, enjoying this moment for as long as he could.

Azriel.

Rhysand's voice thundered through Azriel making him cringe and nuzzle into you further.

I'm busy.

Was the only response Azriel gave your brother as he removed himself from your ass before trailing quick, small kisses up your cunt and toward your belly button.

My office. Now.

Unrelenting command filled his voice, though Azriel wasn't having any of it, his silence answer enough.

Unless you want me to burst through her door and embarrass the both of you?

A talon of power had lightly scratched Azriel's mind, a threatening emphasis on top of Rhysand's warning.

Fine.

Azriel had sent back before slamming his mental shields back up. He stood to his fullest height, looking down at you, only to find that you were already staring up at him, still sucking his fingers. The shadows lifted the bed covers and wrapped them around you, knowing that they'd look after you while Azriel would be away shortly.

Azriel took his fingers out of your mouth as he dipped down to place a tender kiss on your forehead before cupping your cheek. "How do you feel?"

"Amazing," You beamed up at him, glowing with post-orgasm bliss. "The pain is gone. I guess the rumors were right," Your laugh sent Azriel's heart skipping a few beats faster as he grinned back down at you, tracing your lips with his thumb.

"I'm glad it worked," He chuckled, before reality at set into him. "Rhys is back, he wants me to meet him in his office,"

Your brows worried together making anxiety seep into Azriel's skin.

"Is he okay? Is Cass okay?"

Good. You didn't know.

"They're fine, I promise," Azriel slowly, reluctantly drew himself away from you, preparing to travel to Rhysand's study through the shadows. "I'll be back,"

Maybe.

"Good," You smirked, oblivious to the verbal and possible physical lashing Azriel was about to receive. "I still haven't had all of you yet,"

You reached out to palm the dent in Azriel's pants, unaware that you were not making his situation any better. But Azriel let you, dipping his head back, releasing a low, primal growl. He gently grasped your hand, staring down at you as he pressed a promising kiss to your small fingers.

Later. The kiss seemed to say. Azriel would make sure of it. Even if he had to take the two of you away to find some gods damn peace and isolation from judging eyes.

Azriel's shadows surrounded him in a dark cloud till he vanished out of your bedroom and into Rhysand's office.

Rhysand sat at his desk, fury a moonless night across his face. He asked softly, "Are you out of your mind?"

Azriel donned the frozen mask he'd perfected while in his father's dungeon. "I don't know what you're talking about,"

It was going to be a long night.

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assriels · 2 months

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about me 𐙚₊˚⊹ᡣ𐭩

hi friends! i’m kai, and this is just a fun little sideblog where all my sjm universe writings live. my main account is @pacificst so if you see that user in your notes, it’s me! thank u for stopping by, and feel free to come talk to me! 🫶

masterlist/wip 𐙚₊˚⊹ᡣ𐭩

personal favorites are marked with a ♡ !

lessons in touch

summary: azriel’s curiosity and penchant for spying reveals exactly why you’ve been more…enthusiastic in bed lately.

if fate allows (coming soon!)

summary: mating bond or not, you would pick azriel over and over and over again

take me to church (coming may 4th) ♡

summary: azriel was not a religious male, but you were his goddess incarnate and he would willingly worship at your feet until his dying breath

mamma mia! | here i go again

summary: cassian has loved and longed for you for as long as he can remember, despite your long established relationship with his brother. he teeters on the edge of giving up on the idea of you ever loving him back. until…

(heavily inspired by ripley’s rendition of the original abba song)

work song (hozier discography exploration) ♡

summary: an exploration into the birth, life, and death of your relationship with cassian and his unwavering devotion and love for you in the midst of all your trials and tribulations.

it will come back (hozier discography exploration)

summary: cassian was an addict, and you his poison of choice.

foreigner’s god (hozier discography exploration)

summary: (wip; cassian x priestess!reader)

coming soon!

gravity (coming may 4th) ♡

summary: falling in love with lucien felt like trying to resist gravity and realizing it’s a futile pursuit. slowly, and then all at once.

series 𐙚₊˚⊹ᡣ𐭩

lose control -> azriel x day court!reader

series masterlist

summary: for the past one hundred years, your relationship with azriel has been stuck in a purgatory between lovers and strangers, floating in the limbo between the night and day your respective courts cherished. your position as the warmaster of the day court — and helion’s second in command — forces an alliance closer than you’ve ever been to azriel and his inner circle as the threat of a war with hybern looms heavy in the distance. century’s old complicated feelings bubble to the surface, and confrontation is inevitable. the delicate balance of the life and world you know are bound towards disruption.

after all this time -> rhysand x reader

summary: the days, weeks, and months after rhys’s return from under the mountain have you both reeling as you navigate the new complexities that weave into your well-familiar bond with him. an exploration of rhys’s adjustment to his old life.

#acotar fic #acotar fanfiction #cassian x reader #azriel x reader #rhys x reader #lucien x reader #cassian x you #azriel x you #rhys x you #lucien x you #cassian fanfic #azriel fanfic

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brights-place · 2 months

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I just took a look at your random list and MY INNER DEMONS??

That's so super crazy who would request that hahaha..

so uhh you got any chance of writing for asch??

Yk for a friend

Prince Asch dating headcannons

Pairings: Asch X Reader

Warnings: Fluff, Cursing

A/N: Asch dating headcannons YIPPEEE! Finally someone requested M.I.D which is fun to write since Asch in art is AWOOGA! But he isn’t my favourite nehehehe…

- Okay Asch has anger issues and what’s even more annoying is how he was suppose to be choosing an future partner for him - He stood infront of all the people that were chosen and each one appearing he grew more aggravated it was useless to have an partner with this magic crisis going on

- If you were human and he arrived to earth with his knights it would be this whole thing - Asch wouldn’t notice first about how he feels about you… It may seem like how he felt with Ava just for a moment then he saw you

- He had his breath taken away and he couldn’t help but be pulled in

- You were more obedient yes but yet you had this spark that made him question himself - Rhys noticed this and was quite confused and so was Rhys both agreeing that you may have casted an spell... but you didn't cast one that's the thing you just existed - Asch's personality is demanding, rude, and harsh. He likes to do everything his way. Most of the time he acts tough and has an interest in intimidating people... but with you he has an soft side which made him feel weak and pissed him off - Though when you told him he could have an weak side he was confused yet calm not wanting to be pissed off - He has his ups and downs so it's hard for him yet you try help him the best you could. - He burnt you by accident once and he panicked checking your burn... he showed weakness and he grew even more annoyed at himself - He would 'Command' you to or allow himself to just wrap his arms around your waist - Asch command you to stay beside his side which was confusing to you but you stood beside him - Asch was waving dismissively to his knights who stared at you with absolute confusion as Asch threatened their heads if they questioned him - One day you asked him if he ever felt love - He didn't know what to say and told you how daemos call it weak and you couldn't help but feel pity for him and all other daemos - One day he asked to court you... you were confused but when the other Daemos gasped the explained it was well... even more confusing till Ava was laughing and told you Asch wanted to date you - You took an page out of Ava's book and fainted - Asch would court you doing grand gestures as you stare at him with confusion - I have been convince asch would have Asthma! - Asch should has asthma because of his fire's smoke because he uses his fire very often !! - He holds your hand and looks away as you stare confusingly at him while he tells you not to question him - He does dumb things to impress you which always works - You kissing him on the cheek makes him blush - One time you accidentally touched his horns out of pure curiosity and he froze blushing telling you not to do that - Another time of you being very questionable and weird was when you slept in his room the next day he see’s you trying to sneak away with his red cape… - He chased you around as you screamed for help - Pierce had protected you as Lief join in with Asch to chase you down out of pure entertainment - Random kisses secretly and gets pretty jealous easily

- Even if your Human and He is daemos he will try his best…. - He holds you close and tries hard not to let them wise you as a magic source… he had grown fond of you and won’t let others try to take you from his grasps.

reblogs + comments are appreciated ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

©brights-place 2023 — do not repost on another platform, copy, translate or edit my works! if you fit my DNI list please don't interact

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enchantedforest-network · 3 months

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🌱The forests spring feelings event🌱

Ah the spring slowly rolls around and the forest is blooming in all corners. Slowly but surely the residents get hit with the feeling that floats in the air...

The spring feelings event is all about falling in love, loving your partner and of course the mating season!

Rules:

♡ the event starts March 1st and lasts until May 31st

♡ Art and writing is as always allowed. There is no word limit whatsoever. It can be sfw, nsfw and even dc

♡ You can join as many times as you'd like as long as you're part of the enchanted forest network!

♡ To sign up please reach out to Rhy via @enchantedforest-dms and let her know the characters you plan on so she can add you to the masterlist (you can always change things so dw)

♡ The theme of this collab is all about love. Falling in love, being in love, making love. So please try and let the spring feelings (or mating season) get a grip on you and go all out for your fave

🌸 MASTERLIST 🌸

#enchantedforestnetwork #—🌱springfeelings-event #—🌱event

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a-fandom-reimagined · 7 months

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EVERYTHING. | RHYSAND X SIBLING!READER | TAMLIN X READER

♡ summary: rhysand struggles to come to terms with his younger sister and only living blood relative being mated to the man whose destroyed his family. ♡ type: angst | no trigger warnings! | word count: 1361 ♡ author's note: um...i don't remember a ton about these books. i've only read the first two and i'm overdue for a reread. plus, i have no idea what i was doing with the latter half of this fic. i just didn't know how to end it so when i reread the books i'll probably come back and re-write this. so sorry if you don't like it. i hope you enjoy though.

"I won't have it. This must be some mistake…a joke of some kind. Some sort of foul--"

"You'll wear a hole into the rug brother, please--"

"I. Will. Not. Have. It," he hissed.

His face was just inches from your own. His glare alone might have sent anyone else scurrying from the room like vermin, but you were not anyone else. And there was little he could do to scare you now.

"What will you do then? Wage war on the Spring Court? Lock me up? You basically already have! And let me tell you something, brother, your reasoning is no better than his was when he did it to Feyre."

Rhys backed away from you, his eyes--your mother's eyes--far away and distant at the suggestion. You could practically see the gears in his mind turning.

You ground your teeth together so hard they whined. He wasn't even listening to you anymore. But you wouldn't be silent. You'd been silent for months now and it's brought you nothing but anguish. You launched yourself in front of him, halting his damned pacing. "You've been saying this for a month. Pacing and plotting and planning for a month to no avail. There's nothing you can do."

"Like hell there isn't!"

"If there were you would have figured it out by now. He is mine and I am his. And there is nothing you can do about it so stop your pacing and in peace let me go to him--"

Rhys' eyes widened. His face a mask of fury, hurt, and betrayal. And it was all your fault… "Go to him? Y/N, you should be standing with me trying to find a way to fix this! Have you forgotten what he did to our mother? To our sister? What he would have done to you that night had he been given the chance?!"

You flinched so hard he may as well have struck you. Tears filled your eyes and your own dark power chased the light from your brother's study. "Oh please! As if I could have forgotten! As if I wouldn't have chosen any other man if given the choice--

"So--

Your brother's face smooths and after a month he is finally himself again. "I… Y/N we do not--"

"--and I was not given a choice, Rhys. Have you ever stopped to think about what this has done to me? About how humiliating this has been for me? My heart yearns for a man who has my mother, father, and sister's blood on his hands. A man who I even now cannot imagine myself trusting. I do not even know him and every minute of every hour of every day my very blood calls to be reunited with him and I hate it! My friends, my court, my High Lord, and Lady look upon me with disgust. And I do not blame them."

"Spare me," you tell him with a tight, sad smile. "And let me go to him. With your blessing."

"I don't know how. You are all I have left and he's taking you from me. He's taking my family from me. Again."

"He's not taking anyone. Not this time."

Silence filled the room. And in your mind it would either crush you both or he'd send you back to your room forcing you to take Feyre and Mor up on their offer to spring you. They didn't like Tamlin and mate or no mate, bond or no bond they didn't understand what you were feeling. Not for him. But they were willing to help anyway.

"I'm sending you with guards. And if he doesn't like it…"

It took you a moment to realize what he was saying. Your hands shook and your heart lifted. "I will speak to him." Confusion flickered across your brother's face. You couldn't blame him. It was strange for you too. You'd only seen Tamlin twice in your life and nothing you've ever heard about him has been positive. And the only conversations you've had were the ones through the bond that only served as further proof of what you were to each other. And yet the sway you already held over him was substantial to say the least. Already he'd vowed to try and make peace--if such a thing could ever be had--with your family. He'd apologize to Rhys and Feyre if it meant you'd come home to him.

Home.

For as long as you'd been alive home had always been here in Velaris. Before Tamlin the thought of leaving had never even crossed your mind. This was home. It always had been. Now it never would be again.

"Fine," Rhys said through gritted teeth. "Six months."

"What?"

"I give you six months with him and then you're coming home. That should be more than enough time to get this…whatever it is out of your system."

Down the bond Tamlin still raged and you comforted him as best you could.

Through the bond your mate's patience snapped almost audibly so. Up the bond he roared and raged at your brother. Slipping in and out of his animal form as he paced the halls of the lovely manor you'd only heard about in your High Lady's stories of her time with the High Lord of the Spring.

Six months.

It wasn't enough.

No amount of time would ever be enough. But it was a start.

Rhys was trying and in all honesty he didn't have to.

But he was.

For you.

You wouldn't be needing your High Lady's intervention after all…

You wrapped arms around his neck and wept into his night black and gold threaded tunic. "I'm sorry."

He held you tight, squeezing you as if for the very last time. "Don't be. I love you, Y/N."

Guards.

Rhysand said he would send you to the Spring Court with guards. Instead your brother had gathered a small arm. Cassian's very best. It was embarrassing. Humiliating. You were no less powerful than your older brother. You could level these lands and shatter the fragile minds of everyone in them if you needed to. But still you did not complain.

You were going to see Tamlin today. For the first time in a month, you'd be able to touch him, breathe him in, see him up close. Hear his voice in your ears instead of your mind. It was a good day.

You surveyed the grounds of Tamlin's manor with great interest. It so different...compared to the night court. Your palm sweated in your brother's hand. The temperature was balmy and cool, the air sweet on your tongue. You'd never seen grass so lush nor skies so blue. It would be easy to call this place home, you'd decided. If only for six months.

You danced from foot to foot unable to keep still. You fidgeted with the beaded waistline of your gown. Rhys squeezed your hand and Feyre took hold of your free one. Her grip was warm and steadying but nothing could put you at ease now.

You met her gaze, "Breathe," she told you.

You nodded but breath did not come easy to you. You felt as if there were a boulder sitting on your chest.

And then you saw him.

He was beautiful.

You'd expected guards. According to rumor Tamlin's warband was nothing to scoff at but he came alone in a loose white shirt, black trousers and riding boots. The baldric strapped to his chest free of weapons.

Rhys wasn't the only one trying it would seem.

A breeze sweept his long blond hair from one shoulder to the other and he seemed to bathe in the golden noonday sunshine as he approached.

Stunning.

You hadn't really gotten a good look at him before. But now.

Your stomach tightened and you locked your knees, planting your feet firmly into the earth to keep from launching yourself at him.

Rhys didn't say anything as he led you forth, forcing Feyre to release your hand.

Tamlin stopped a good distance a way. Hands locked behind his back. "Rhys. Feyre," he said by way of greeting. But he didn't look at them. Tamlin only had eyes for you and you for him. "Y/N."

Inches separated of space separated you. It was the closest you'd ever been to one another. You'd never noticed the flecks of gold in his emerald green eyes…

"She's all I have left, Tamlin." Rhys gritted out. "And it doesn't please me to do so but I am entrusting her safety to you."

"Me and the small platoon you've sent with her," he quipped.

"Can you blame me?"

Tamlin's eyes finally left yours and met your brother's. "No."

"If she comes back with so much as sun burn I will grind you and everyone you’ve ever met to do dust.”

“You don’t have to—“

She’s everything to me, Tamlin. Everything.”

REQUESTED! | REQUESTS: ALWAYS OPEN | REBLOG DON’T REPOST | GIF | MASTERLIST

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hellcat8908 · 8 months

Note

can i request seperate headcanons for rhysand, azriel and cassian, where they take reader virginity without knowing, and when they’re done reader looks a uncomfortable and she notices she’s bleeding. And they help her😩 literally happened to like a month ago it was so uncomfy💀

Sorry this took so long, not used to writing headcanons but I hope you enjoy them.

Batboys and the Female Virgin Headcanons

Warnings: MDNI, blood, and some smut

Rhysand lays next to you, recovering from his own release. Another twinge of pain hits you from losing your virginity. You lay on your side facing away from Rhys, not wanting to be embarrassed. "Darling, are you alright?" He asks, worried that something is wrong. "I'm fine. I just need to use the bathroom." You lie before making a quick escape to the bathroom. He sees the blood staining the sheets and follows you in the bathroom. He stops when he sees you cleaning yourself up. He turns on the shower and lets the water warm up. "Why didn't you tell me?" He asks gently while grabbing the tissue from your hand and tossing it in trash. "Bacause it's embarrassing." You tell him as you look at the floor. He tilts your chin up so you're looking at him, "Darling, it's nothing to be embarrassed about, I wish I would've known so I could've made it better for you." He says almost sad. "Let's get you properly cleaned up."

He leads you to the shower and grabs a sponge. Taking his time and washing along your body, trailing kisses as he does. He takes extra care when washing washing away the rest of the blood from your core, not wanting to cause you any pain. Once your rinsed off he helps you out of the shower and gently dries you with a towel. He carries you back to bed and grabs a tonic for the pain and a water. He hands them too you, "they'll help with the discomfort." He says before going to his closet and grabbing one of his shirts for you. "Is there anything else I can get you?" He asks before kissing the top of your head. "I think I'm ok." You answer before he climbs in bed and pulls you into his side. He grabs your book from the nightstand and flips to where you left off. He covers you up with a blanket and starts reading to you. Before long your sound asleep and he places the book back on the nightstand He kisses you softly before whispering "goodnight, darling."

♡•♡•♡•♡•♡

Azriel notices something is wrong when you won't look him. "Angel, are you hurt? was I too rough?" He asks worried. You try to blink away a few tears, but Azriel notices. He pulls back the covers and sees the proof of your innocence. "Oh angel, I'm sorry, I didn't realize." He starts to ramble an apology. "I'm okay." You say trying to convince him but not doing a great job. He disappears into the bathroom only to return a minute later to carry you in a there with him. You see the oversized tub filling with water and several vanilla and lavender candles lit around it.

After the tub is full Azriel carries you in carefully sitting you in his lap. He gently grabs a cloth and starts washing your back and shoulders working his way around and down your body. When the cloth slips between your legs he gently cleans your center. He kisses your neck and shoulder as he does, trying to distract you from any further discomfort. Afterwards he gently massages your back ans shoulders trying to help you relax. He towels you dry and dresses you in one of his shirts. He gets you a tonic, a glass of water and some chocolate after helping you back into bed. He lays cuddling you as he wraps his wings around you while gently rubbing your back until you fall asleep.

♡•♡•♡•♡•♡

Cassian follows you into the bathroom after seeing the blood on the sheets. He takes the tissue out of your hand and tosses it in the trash. "Let me take care of you, babe." He says as he runs a cloth under the warm water. He runs it along your center wiping away the blood. He is gentle as he cleans you. Once he rinses the cloth and tosses it in the hamper he gently lifts you onto the vanity pulling your legs over his shoulder. "What are you doing, Cass?" You ask as he spreads your legs. "Showing you how it should've been if I had known. He says with a smile as dips his head, slowly running his tongue along your pussy.

You let out a moan at the sensation. His grip on your hips holds you still as he gently teases you with his tongue. He looks up at you from between your legs, making sure you're ok as he continues to pleasure you with his talented tongue. His tongue finds your pearl and drives you crazy with pleasure, causing you to grip his hair. You're moaning loudly as he flicks his tongue across your clit before sucking and nibbling on it. Your thighs tighten around his head holding him in place as he pulls you closer to the edge. Focusing all his efforts on pushing you over the edge, holding onto you to keep you from falling off the vanity as you come undone. As you recover he carries you back to bed and tucks you in beside him. "And that's how it should've been." He says with a confident smirk.

#acotar #batboys #sarah j maas #acotar fanfic #acotar headcanon #azriel #cassian #rhysand

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littlemissomega · 1 year

Text

Key: ♤= smut | ♡=fluff | ◇= dark ^=personal favorites | *=top/most likes

[Last updated: 10/01/2023

HoneyMoon Hell ♤♡

Sensory processing disorder reader! x Tom Holland

Summary: Morning wake up call gone wrong

Warnings: smut, sensory meltdown, aftercare, Tom being a perfect hubby

•••

Big Girl Thoughts ♤*

mommy!wanda maximoff x reader

Summary: Wanda just can't get enough of her baby

Warnings: Overstimulation, smut, mommy kink, Wanda being condesending, degrading

∙∙∙

How Would They Know? ♤♡

mommy!natasha romanoff x reader

Summary: Y/N and Natasha go out for dinner, but Natasha has an idea to mix it up

Warnings: overstimulation, mommy kink, public sex, bathroom sex, pet names, degrading, aftercare, etc

Word Count: 3405

●●●

Series: Meeting the Coworkers ♤♡^

Steve Rogers x Y/N x peter parker , wanda maximoff x bucky barnes x natasha romanoff

Summary: Steve has been transparent about his polyamorous relationship with some of his Coworkers since he started dating Y/N, but she was never interested. Until she became curious with that part of Steve's life and asks to meet the gang, but just one at a time. Things get heated and Y/N discovers a whole new side of herself

Part 1: Meeting Peter Parker

•••

Dios Mio♤♡

peter parker x tony stark's daughter!reader

Summary: Peter and Y/N get caught in the act by her dad- Tony Stark

Warnings: smut, oral (f recieving) orgasum denial if you squint, Tony Stark being an overprotective dad, getting caught in the act, embarrassment, mention of getting pregnant, mention of marriage,

•••

Cravings ♤♡

Natasha romanoff x pregnant! reader

Summary: natashas 's wife wakes up with intense pregnancy cravings

Warnings: smut, mommy kink, pregnancy, pregnancy cravings, strap on, hypersensitive, nipple play, aftercare, pet names, Russian pet names

•••

Viral ♤

Pornstar!Natasha romanoff x influencer!reader

Summary: Y/N's followers dare her to call Natasha 'Mommy' on camera

Warnings: SMUT, 18+, strap used, overstimulation, Mommy kink, video sex, live stream sex, cussing, pet names (bunny, luv, luvie, baby, babygirl, etc), praise kink, degradation kink, Y/N says “it hurt” (nothing is physically hurting her tho), bad writing

•••

Principessa ◇♤

dark!mafia!bucky barnes x innocent!reader

Warnings: smut, non con, kidnapping, mafia leader Bucky, housewife kink, degrading kink, non consensual use of a vibrator, overstimulation, bondage, crying, innocence kink, squirting, virgin reader, Bucky’s kinda sick but it’s also kinda hot 👀

Summary: Y/N's trip to Italy turns dark

•••

Conflict of Interest ♤

dom!Natasha x needy!reader

Warnings: edging, overstimulation, Y/N falls deep into subspace, praise kink, use of a vibrator, Y/N’s insecure thoughts, use of a strap, allusion to aftercare, but not actually written

Summary: Y/N is very needy while Natasha is working

•••

Malyshka♤^

alpha!Wanda x omega!reader

Summary: Y/N joins the Avengers thinking she’ll be able to hide being an omega. Wanda bursts her bubble.

Warnings: smut, overstimulation, mating, biting, penetration, omega heat, fingering, knotting, pet names (malyshka, baby, luv, luvie), Bucky’s an asshole, a kinda maybe spark better Bucky (I can’t write fight scene without banter), scenting, scent blockers

•••

Hungry ♤♡

alpha!Rhyand x omega!reader

Summary: Rhysand finds a way to make his mate eat during her heat

Warnings: smut, cockwarming, teasing, mating, reader not wanting to eat but Rhys convincing her too, bargaining, heat and rut, overstimulation, mention of biting/marking, breeding kink, pet names (Alpha, Omega, little dove, baby), wing play/stimulation, food play if you squint, bad writing, not proof read

•••

Chronically ill Reader:

I'm Here ♡

steve rogers x endometriosis!reader

Summary: Steve Roger's girlfriend has endometriosis and gets her period

Warnings: chronic pain, reader has endometriosis which causes extremely painful periods, reader gets her period, throwing up, crying, little suggestive but not really (Y/N thinks Steve is gonna do something sexual for a second, but he doesn't)

•••

How Low Can You Go? ♡

Diabetic!reader x Stucky

Summary: reader’s blood sugar drops in the middle of the night

Warnings: Dangerously low blood sugar, low blood sugar symptoms (head racing, shaky, brain fog), crying, blood, mention of glucose tablets (which is kinda a medication? It helps get your blood sugar up), orange juice, fluff, pet names (Ladybug, princess, sweetie, honey, etc)

Short and sweet enough to give your hyperglycemia (high blood sugar)

•••

Coming soon

Meeting the CoWorkers Part 2: Meeting Wanda

Bare: dom!rhysand x reader

Principessa Part 2

Taglist:

@liidiaaag

@flourishandblotts-inc

@aagn360

@smromanoff

Comment any emoji on this post to get added to my taglist! I'm not the best at remembering, but I try! <3

All banners are by @cafekitsune <3

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pellucid-constellations · 3 months

Text

If It All Fell (4)

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: If it all fell apart—if you forgot who you were—would you love him again? Would the bond guide you back? Azriel doesn't know if that uncertainty is one he can bear.

Word count: 3.7k

Warnings: Angst, descriptions of pain

a/n: Thank you again for reading this series, I really love writing it :) More to come! I really really appreciate feedback, as always ♡

Part 1 ♡ Part 2 ☆ Part 3 ✶ Part 5 ☁

Series Masterlist

“It’s going to feel like a push,” Rhys explained, his fingers intertwined between his knees. “And then you’ll know I’m in your mind. It shouldn’t hurt—maybe just a pinch and then a pressure.”

You nodded, clutching the arms of your chair with white-knuckled fingers.

“He’s in my mind all the time. Uninvited, might I add. Doesn’t hurt, it’s just annoying,” Mor added.

Turning your head in her direction, eyes downcast toward the floor, you nodded to her, too.

The faelights gave the room a warm amber hue. It was the day after you met Rhys—or rather, became reacquainted with him—and the day he was going to look for your memories. Mor sat beside you, the blue dress she wore shimmering beneath the glow of the room, and Azriel stood guard by the door. What he was guarding you from, you had no idea, but the act seemed to comfort him.

“Was Cassian busy?” you asked, and then immediately regretted it.

It wasn’t Cassian’s job to be here. He was a grown man with a position in this court. He was busy, obviously. You also barely knew him.

What a stupid question.

Rhys breathed through a smile, anyway. “He’s up at the camps today. But I’ll let him know you asked for him. He’ll love that.”

“Oh, you don’t have to—”

“He’ll love it. I was being genuine,” Rhys comforted, interrupting the anxiousness rising in your tone. “Should we get started?”

You took a deep breath meant to rid the feeling of nausea overtaking you. It didn’t work.

“Yes,” you replied, easing your trembling fingers into your lap. “Yes, I’m ready.”

Rhys kicked up from the table he was leaning against, spinning a chair around in front of you. He sat, and the instant his knees bent to make the descent, Azriel was out from his hiding place in the dark. He loomed over the High Lord, shadows agitated, wings tucked in tight. To his credit, Rhys only gave the new, menacing presence a quick glance.

“Should I keep my eyes open? Or do we have to touch or—”

“Just relax,” Rhys offered. “With everything going on, your mind should be wide open. This will be simple and fast. I promise.”

A promise from a High Lord—from your family, you reminded yourself. This was going to be fine. You doubled up on tonics this morning, so the pain in your head was minimal and you were safe here.

This was going to be fine.

You hadn't even noticed the rapid pace of your breath until Azriel’s shadows came to wind around your shoulders, the quick uptick of the darkness more telling than anything else. The small wisps traveled up and down with the rhythm of your breath until it began to even out, and then they curled around your cheeks as if to caress you. When they made the occasional pass by your ears, it felt as if you were being told secrets—as if you were important enough to know something no one else did.

Yes, this was going to be fine.

Rhys cleared his throat.

The first step into your mind was jarring, the sensation making you physically jump. Rhys seemed to raise a hand up at the entry—to knock on something or open it up—but he passed through a permeable wall instead. He passed through with ease.

The High Lord made a low, surprised sound that echoed in the room.

“What?” Azriel gruffly asked.

Rhys paused. “Well, nothing, I just—I just expected some of her magic to have remained where it was. For some of it to be protecting her mind.”

“Magic?” you whispered.

Azriel’s eyes snapped to you as if on instinct—as if the sound of your voice was simply something he always followed—but his expression did not match the sentiment. He looked haunted, a shadow cast over the grim line of his mouth.

“I have magic?”

Your whisper was cut off by a sharp intake of air. Rhys had moved on from the outskirts of your mind, each step deeper a clicking echo in the stark chamber. He went in directions that felt practiced, like he’d been here before but everything had been rearranged, removed.

You watched as the High Lord ran a rough hand over his mouth, his brows furrowed in concentration.

Mor placed a gentle hand on your shoulder.

Azriel watched the man within your mind, a preternatural stillness stiffening his limbs.

“It’s like you’ve been wiped.” Rhys shook his head. “But that doesn’t make any sense. You still know language, you know how to—to be fae. But everything else is…”

Within your mind, you felt a darkness roll from Rhys. He was sending something out, inspecting the area. The pain began then, but you weren’t going to tell them. You weren’t going to break and ruin something else.

The darkness invaded small crevices in your mind, sleuthing and slinking in areas you hadn’t been aware of yourself. More pressure built up behind your skull.

You could still manage it.

The air was knocked from your lungs, but you could still manage it.

“Rhysand,” Azriel warned. Blue began to overpower the orange glow of the room.

“I think I’m almost somewhere,” the High Lord replied.

“She’s—”

“Keep going,” you gritted out. “It just feels odd,” you lied. “I’m okay, keep going.”

Azriel shook his head, face twisting in an expression of grief that almost had you taking back your words. He abandoned his observation of Rhys and approached your chair, kneeling down next to you, the bone of his knee harshly pressing against the floor.

He nodded, something resolute in his eyes. “Okay. Okay, whatever you want.”

From beside you, you heard Mor’s pained sigh, felt her turn to look away.

You tore your eyes from the piousness before you, but Azriel did not budge. His elbow came to rest on the flat surface of his thigh, his fingers extending out to touch the wooden leg of your chair.

“Please, keep going.”

Rhys nodded. The darkness in your mind expanded. It flowed like a cloud rolling out before a storm, reaching every corner of unsearched territory. There was nothing it couldn’t reach, and good, let it fill you up. Let it consume your mind because it was no use to you in this state. Azriel was kneeling before you, desperate and scared, and you couldn’t understand why, so let the darkness become you.

If it led to understanding, to your life, you would withstand this pain.

The first scream that left you ripped through the air like a strike, unsettling any gentleness that had resided in the small office. Rhys had found something; his darkness had collided with a wall—the only wall, only structure, in your mind—and he had gone to investigate. With the simple press of his hand against the sturdy cobalt, a blinding pain found a home in your skull.

Azriel jolted, the fingers that had gripped your chair flying to cover your knee.

You screamed again. And again.

“Stop! Enough, Rhysand. Get out of her head,” Azriel ordered, but he sounded as if he were underwater. He raised his voice above your screams but he sounded so far away.

You collapsed forward, hands coming up to cradle your head. There was a touch at your back, maybe another along your hair—you couldn’t tell. The pain was too great.

“There’s a wall. Something foreign. The energy isn’t hers,” Rhys called. He sounded distant as well.

The world grew light.

“I don’t care,” Azriel gritted out. “We can try again later. She’s going to pass out and last time—”

“Keep… going,” you panted, fighting past the pain to insert yourself into the conversation.

This was your decision, your mind. Your life that was torn away.

“Y/n, please. You don’t understand,” Azriel begged, shifting forward and gripping your wrists in his scarred hands. “This isn’t good for you. This isn’t—please.”

Sweat beaded at your brow. Rhys’s presence hadn’t left your mind. “I have… to know. Have to try.”

“Rhys, maybe we shouldn’t—” Mor began in a soft, hesitant voice.

“Go.” With a simple word from you, Rhys bypassed all else.

Pain exploded at the first talon scratching down the slope of the foreign wall. You surpassed screams, your voice breaking at the peak of the most violent one. At some point, the hands on your head were replaced by larger ones, and you found the texture of them to be a grounding point. Something about the feeling was familiar, like your skin was used to the patterns, the raised edges and the divots along fingers. They traced soothing shapes along your cheeks, dried tears you didn’t realize were cascading down your face.

And then Rhys stood abruptly, his chair rocking back and forth with his departure. The pain dulled, leaving you with heavy breaths and a lingering ache you weren’t sure would ever go away.

“You’re okay, angel. You’re okay.”

Breathing in was difficult. The world felt off its axis.

Pale-faced and blinking, Rhys breathed out, “We need to go to Helion.”

You gathered the strength to look up further.

Azriel’s expression crumbled, his beautiful face only inches from yours and filled with such dread that when you succumbed to the lightness creeping into your vision, you feared the descent.

Your loss of consciousness was brief, which was, apparently, very unexpected.

Your once stiff chair was no longer beneath you, and where you expected to be folded up into an uncomfortable shape and cold, you were instead held against a warm, vibrating presence.

No, not vibrating, that wasn’t right. Just speaking—you were being held by someone and they were speaking.

“—back there. Rhys, it’s not a good idea. If you said it was the same energy from before, we can’t—I can’t—”

“He is gone, Az. You know that. Bringing her there would only serve to help her. You know Helion would go to lengths…”

Your comprehension faded in and out, matching the swells of pain in your head. You were reluctant to open your eyes and welcome the assault of light and sensation that would surely greet you when you did.

There was a soft lull in the conversation, although you couldn’t decipher where it had left off. You felt a light pressure along your face and welcomed the relief and comfort that came with it. Some of the ache dissipated along the path of the touch.

“Her screams,” you heard Azriel stress, and it felt as if his words were spoken against your skin. “They were so reminiscent of that night. All of this is.”

“I know, brother,” Rhys replied.

“I don’t know if I can do this. If I can survive this.”

A sniff. Something wet along your jaw. The chest you were pressed against seemed to tremble.

“You have to. She’ll need you when she comes out on the other side of this.”

“I know,” Azriel whispered, words weaker but somehow even closer. “I know.”

Disregarding all of your senses that argued against it, you cracked your eyes open. The lights were still low, but even that fact didn’t stop the burning behind your eyes from amplifying. A repercussion from Rhysand’s investigation, surely.

Whoever was left in the room gave you time to adjust, no one speaking or moving or expecting anything from you other than breath. You felt the hold on you loosen, but not withdraw.

Part of you, a deep, intrinsic part, knew it was Azriel. His voice and his scent and the feel of his body seemed to be things you could recognize even when nothing else made sense. So, you knew it was him holding you from the moment your mind began to catch up with the environment.

And still, seeing him so close, feeling him against you—it was a shock to your already overwhelmed system.

You groaned, face scrunching as you tried to gather your bearings. Azriel’s legs shifted, and your body moved along with them. The motion served as a catalyst in your effort to sit up.

“Hey, hold on,” Azriel cautioned. Hearing his voice so soft—so careful—had you blinking, trying to parse out what was real and what was still hazy.

“Did…did we figure out what was wrong?” you asked, groggy. “Did you find anything?”

You turned your head with sharp momentum, regretting the act as soon as you did it. But you didn’t have time for pain—for fear. Rhys looked back at you with a sympathetic smile, both of you ignoring the sound of protest from Azriel at your movement.

His hand moved to rest along the back of your neck as Rhys spoke, keeping your head in one place. Keeping it supported and still.

You didn’t have the energy to shake it off.

Did you want to?

“I found something. Not as much as I’d have liked, but it’s something to go off of. We’ll… have to go to Day. There’s more information there. I’ve sent Mor to sort out the logistics.”

A glance around the room confirmed that the blonde was no longer there. It must have been a quick decision to send her away. As quick as Azriel tugging you out of your chair and holding you on the floor.

Rhys didn’t seem uncomfortable by the display, but of course he wouldn’t—not if his goal was to drive two enemies back into friendship.

If you were ever even friends to begin with.

The trajectory of your thoughts made you grimace in Azriel’s arms, and even though your entire body protested it, you shifted away from him, hands coming down to the floor to support your weight. A soft grunt left you.

Why did a search through your mind leave you so weak?

“My lo—y/n, stop,” Azriel fumbled over his words, reaching out for you.

But with confusion and pain marring your state of mind—causing your usually perfectly practiced, patient replies to skew—you only struggled more and pushed farther away. There were too many unknowns, too many questions, too many feelings surrounding this man who looked at you as if you were never-ending but pushed you away as if you were finite.

You couldn’t take it.

And maybe this is how you—the real you, the one with her memories—would react, anyway. Everyone always seemed to expect a strong will and unyielding tenacity, their disappointment at your meekness glaringly obvious.

Maybe you were supposed to fight against these secrets and this pain.

“I’ve got it,” you grunted out, pushing closer to the desk, closer to the rift you didn’t understand between you and Azriel.

You wanted Mor back.

She made more sense.

Looking up from your struggle, you caught Azriel and Rhysand in the midst of a staring match, their expressions firm and drawn. With what you now understood about Rhys and his powers, you were sure they were communicating somehow.

When Rhys spoke next, your hypothesis was only confirmed. “Az is going to take you back to your room,” he said, eyes never leaving the shadowsinger. “He’s going to help you pack.”

When the High Lord left, the door clicking shut with finality, tension blanketed the room. The worst part of it all was your lack of context. Something big was happening, something immeasurable, and you had no upper hand—not even a foot on the ground.

You looked down at your palms and then back up at Azriel. He had yet to move from his position kneeling before you, hands still outstretched in some fruitless reach, elbows bent and tense against his sides.

You wanted Mor back.

She seemed to love you—to want you here.

“I can get back to my room on my own,” you offered, and even though the words were barely a whisper, they were resounding in the silent room.

Azriel licked his lips and looked down. When his hands fell to his sides, you took that as compliance, as acceptance. On shaking arms, you attempted to lift yourself up.

“I haven’t been doing this right.” Your unsuccessful attempt abruptly ceased. Azriel continued. “I barely got it right the first time. This time… this time I—”

“It’s okay, Azriel. I understand, I think.”

Hazel eyes met yours, the collection of colors confused beneath furrowed brows.

You so badly wanted to soothe away all of the unease within them, to brush your thumb along his brow even though you were sure he wouldn’t want to do the same—not without his family present to witness it.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

You wanted to sigh, but too much air might’ve made you pass out again. Instead, you bit the inside of your cheek, twisting your lips as you considered the best way to phrase the thoughts that had been plaguing you.

“No one will tell me about you—about who we were to each other before I lost everything. I thought maybe it was because you were going to tell me, but then you wanted nothing to do with me and I understood a little better. I understood that maybe we weren’t friends before all of this. And that’s okay, I know that we lived lives that I can’t remember.

“But then… sometimes you do things that don’t make sense to me. You say things that don’t add up with what I’ve come to terms with and I think… I think my mind and my body get confused. It’s strange,” you admitted, using what little strength you still coveted to push yourself back against Rhys’s desk. “But I think I understand now. And I’m sorry if I make it weird. I think that even if my mind understands who you are to me, there are other parts that don’t quite catch up.”

“And who am I to you?” Azriel asked, voice raw.

You looked up from your fingers to meet his gaze again, greedily relishing in the calm they provided you. It was always calm there. “I don’t know. But I know I don’t have the honor of meaning anything to you. Maybe we didn’t get along, or maybe we just never meshed. But I can tell you struggle with this new role—whatever it is the Inner Circle has asked you to do with me. I can tell this isn’t natural for you, spending time with me, trying to be my friend.”

Azriel fell further back on his ankles, his wings unfurling from their tight coil to drape along the floor in a defeated posture. It looked wrong; you’d been around these men and their wings and they never dragged.

Azriel’s mouth parted slightly, his jaw off-centered. His gaze left you in favor of staring at the floor, and you surmised that you caught him. You figured him out. This pawn he had become—you had freed him from the game.

But then sighed and he said, “No,” and the word was whispered with so much sadness that none of this felt like a game anymore. Not that it was fun; this had never been fun.

“No,” he repeated. “Y/n, spending time with you—being around you—it’s as natural as breathing for me.” He looked up at the ceiling, shaking his head. “Gods, I’ve done this so wrong.”

“Azriel, it’s—”

“Even just hearing you say my name. After so many days without it, I could sit and just listen to you talk and I would be content.”

Your fingers felt numb.

Azriel stopped staring at the ceiling.

“We have always meshed,” he said. “I was being selfish—avoiding you when I shouldn’t have. The truth, y/n, is that we are close. Very close. Rhysand, Mor, Cassian—they don’t have to ask me to forge some… bond with you because that has already been 300 years in the making.”

“But at lunch and every time I—”

“It’s hard and I have been a coward,” Azirel interrupted, shifting forward until his knees brushed against yours on the ground. “This has been inexplicably harder for you and I have been a coward and there is no part of me that wants to be away from you.”

It somehow felt as if your life was turning upside down again because you had made conclusions and assumptions and none of them were right. You had come to terms with the fact that you felt safest with a man who wanted nothing to do with you and had mourned the loss already. It had been strange to mourn something you had only just gained, but it had felt even stranger to lose Azriel.

It hadn’t felt right.

“So we’re friends?” you tentatively asked, feeling the wooden corner of the desk dig into your spine.

Azriel swallowed. “Yes.”

“And you… like being my friend?”

“Very much.”

“Are you sure?”

Azriel laughed, the sound so startlingly joyous you felt it swelling in your own chest. It filled you up, consumed you, and you wished for a long moment that you hadn’t been so willing to allow Rhys’s darkness into the crevices of your mind. This feeling belonged there. Only this.

“I am positive,” he assured, a smile lingering on his face. “Being your friend has been my crowning achievement for the last three centuries.”

“That doesn’t seem like much of an achievement,” you replied, the snark in your tone surprising you.

It seemed to surprise Azriel as well, his brows shooting to his hairline. “Fortunately, you are not the authority on my achievements, especially since you don’t remember them and can’t recall how amazing it is to be your friend.”

He kept tripping over that word—friend.

You decided to ignore it, too pleased by the way you made Azriel laugh and smile and not look at you the way he had been for the past several days.

And something was glowing in your chest, something that seemed to replace the near-constant ache you had grown so accustomed to.

Later, you would ask more questions. Later, you would ask Azriel about Day Court and the reason why he silently panicked every time you ran your hand along your temple to ease the pressure there.

But for now, you smiled at the shadowsinger, and he smiled back.

Part 5 ☁

#azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel fanfic #azriel shadowsinger #azriel acotar #azriel angst #acotar fic #azriel #azriel imagine #if it all fell

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prythianpages · 3 months

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The Sun & the Moon | Rhysand x Reader

summary: Rhysand wants to write you the perfect poem for Valentine's Day and calls up Cassian and Azriel for help.

warnings: fluff and some implied smut/mainly suggestive tones.

Happy Valentine's Day! ♡

a/n: So I got a little ahead of myself because this can be read as a stand alone (all you have to know is that reader is a healer from Dawn Court.) But it is a part of my Wanna Be Yours series. All because I saw this tiktok sound of this poem and found it so beautiful. I did not write this poem, all credit goes to this creator. I also wanted to write a scene of Rhys struggling to write a poem (I had some saved on pinterest) in part two but had to scrap the scene out for other ones. Now, it's a win-win situation. Don't worry, there are not really spoilers in here for what I have planned. Just know this takes place after their happy ending (:

Valentine’s Day is approaching and Rhysand finds himself facing an unprecedented dilemma. Getting you a gift. A gift as special and perfect as you.

The pressure is high, and the responsibility lies squarely on his shoulders, particularly given the mating gift he presented to you. An expansive estate, where everything–the architecture, the decor, and furniture seamlessly marries the celestial essence of the sun and moon. The grand house paints an exquisite portrait of dawn, reflecting the enchanting blend of your old court and now new one.

So naturally, given his stress, he calls upon his brothers for help.

“You called us here because you don’t know what to get y/n for Valentine’s? y/n, your mate?” Cassian asked, carrying a mix of amusement and disbelief.

“I thought this was important,” came from Azriel.

Rhysand shoots Azriel a pointed look. “This is important.”

Azriel raises an eyebrow while Cassian grins. The two exchange a knowing glance that hinted at a shared understanding. Just as Rhysand prepared to delve into their minds to unravel their thoughts, they turned their attention back to him, nodding in unison.

"Alright, Rhys," Cassian began, clearing his throat dramatically, "How about flowers?”

Rhysand slumps into his desk chair, a heavy sigh escaping his lips. “I get her flowers every week.”

Cassian mirrors Rhysand, seating himself on one of the chairs across from him. He throws his hands up in the air. “Then, I don’t know.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“How about you gift her something a little more sentimental?” Azriel offers. He crosses his arms deep in thought, resting his chin on one hand. “Something small but meaningful.”

Rhysand’s violet eyes light up, the silver specs in his irises glimmering like stars. “Like a poem! Y/n loves poetry."

The library in your home is stocked with a vast amount of poetry. Mainly romantic ones and then, the initial enthusiasm gives way to a fading spark.

Expressing the depth of his feelings verbally comes naturally to Rhysand. His silver-tongued declarations never fail to effortlessly convey how much you mean to him. He is the master of tone and inflection when it comes to expressing his feelings for you and when those are not enough, he loves to show you. Often. With that silver-tongue of his.

However, the transition to writing felt like a different art form altogether. It was challenging because how could he successfully capture the nuances of his love for you in writing? When he'd rather show you...

Rhysand runs a hand through his already disheveled hair, a frown creasing his face. He wants to do this for you but--

“I’ve never written a poem before.”

He looks up to Azriel for help, who in return merely shrugs with a smirk. “I don’t resort to poetry.”

“Oh! I got it!” Cassian, on the other hand, leans forward in his seat with nothing but pure mischief reflected in his gaze. “How about this? Roses are red, violets are blue. y/n, my love, I’m obsessed with you.”

The silence was loud. And then Azriel’s deep laughter fills the air. He finally takes a seat next to Cassian’s, sensing this is going to take awhile. “That is terrible.”

“Absolutely,” Rhysand agrees, his expression defeated. It doesn’t stop him from summoning a quill, ink and paper right in front of Cassian. “But jot that down...just in case.”

As the trio delved deeper into their poetic endeavors, Rhysand's frustration grew. Cassian's attempts became increasingly cheesy. Meanwhile, Azriel just sat back and watched, his shadows peeking curiously over Cassian’s and Rhysand’s papers. He would give his input when necessary, more inclined towards laughter than actually helping.

Nearly two hours later and drowning in parchment full of scribbled attempts at poetry, Rhysand lets out an exasperated sigh, finally excusing Cassian and Azriel. They leave all too quickly, slipping away before Rhysand could retract the words of dismissal that had escaped him.

There’s still a frown in his brow as his eyes graze over all the poems him and Cassian wrote together. He couldn't bear the thought of presenting any of these creations to you. The inked words on paper seemed to mock the depth of his feelings, failing to capture his love for you.

His eyes flutter shut as he allows his thoughts to drift toward you. The clock's hands have nudged past noon, and the familiarity of your daily rhythm dances in his mind. He knows your schedule as you know his. It’s right after your lunch so he knows you’re at your desk.

A mental portrait forms, capturing you leaning forward at your desk. Maybe a touch hunched over as you read over a patient's reports with that adorable furrow in your brow. There’s a window right behind you and given the sun is currently at its peak, he can imagine how it glows upon you like a radiant spotlight.

And when your eyes grow tired from reading, he can already picture the way you’d lean back in your chair, spinning around to face the sun. Your eyes would be fluttering shut like his at this moment. The sun would now be shining on you, its golden hues cascading upon you in an ethereal glow where every beloved feature is highlighted. A living embodiment of warmth and brilliance.

You're his sun but you’re also his moon.

His eyes snap open, his grip on the quill tightening. Before he knows it, words are spilling effortlessly onto the blank parchment in front of him as he lets his emotions flow. He feels a tug down the bond, as if you could sense his thoughts, and with a smile, he echoes the sentiment. He couldn’t wait for you to read it.

Valentine’s day dawns a week later, and Rhysand’s excitement for you to read his poem is palpable. It took all his restraint not to give it to you as soon as he finished it.

Unfortunately, you weren’t able to take the day off. It didn’t matter as your plans for tonight were simple–just a lovely dinner together, made by Rhysand, in the privacy of your home. All that mattered is that you had tomorrow off.

Rhysand waits for you right outside the steps of the clinic, not wanting to distract you from your last reports. He could feel your presence grow nearer and nearer through the bond. He tugs on it, a silent urge to pull you to him faster. The door opens and you’re rushing down the steps to meet him.

Throwing your arms around his neck, you bury your head into his chest, inhaling softly. He feels his heart flutter and he tightens his arms around you, holding you close in his embrace. “Hi, love,” you murmur.

He pulls away, cradling your face in his hands. He smiles and then kisses you, pouring all his love and devotion to you. A promise of what’s to come later. “Hey, beautiful. You ready to go home?”

“Always. As long as it’s with you,” you tell him, voice still breathless as your hand effortlessly entwines with his.

Rhysand’s lips twitch and he finds himself melting at your words. Instinctively, he averts his gaze, warmth flooding his cheeks as he bites his lip. He intended to walk you home as Velaris had decorated the streets with hearts, flowers and pink garland. He gives your hand a squeeze and winnows you both directly to the comfort of your home instead.

He reluctantly lets you go so that you can wash up and change.

When you join him in the dining room, the glamor he had placed earlier lifts, revealing an exquisite dinner that has your stomach growling. Cute hearts, flowers and confetti adorn the table and walls around you, filling your heart with a cozy glow.

As his gaze lifts from the table, his eyes widen, pupils flaring.

“Come here, you,” he breathes, pushing his chair back just enough for you to have space to settle onto his lap.

“I’m hungry,” you say, a small warning delivered with a touch of mirth. His eyes sparkle at you with an unmistakable gleam as he drags a finger up the fabric of your red dress. But your body betrays your words, leaning in to his teasing touch.

“Me too," Rhysand replies with a smirk and it's evident he's not referring to the food plated in front of you.

Your stomach growls and he chuckles, resting his hand on your waist instead. “Let’s eat then.”

The two of you dive into the dinner Rhysand made, feeding each other and catching up with one another. You’re nearly in a food coma, collapsing into Rhysand’s chest when you're done. He rests his head on your shoulder, his strong arms securing their place around your waist.

“I got you something,” he whispers against your neck, lifting his head only to speak his next words. “Well, I wrote you something.”

“You wrote something for me?”

He takes delight in the surprise and excitement in your voice. Raising a hand, he retrieves his valentine card from the pocket realm. The only place he deemed fit to hide his poem for you. He’s too busy pressing his lips against your neck, to hide the giddiness he feels inside, to notice his mistake.

“Roses are red. Violet’s are–”

“Not that one!” Rhysand exclaims, body tensing behind you as he rips it from your hands. “I did not write that one!"

You can’t help but laugh. “Then who did?”

“Cas.”

“Cassian wrote a poem for me?” You reply, eyes widening slightly as you shift in his lap to face him. You're thankful the dress you chose has a loose skirt as it allows you to move freely and settle a thigh on either side of him.

“Gods, no,” Rhysand groans, cursing himself for not discarding that poem once he had written his. He leans forward, burying his head into your chest for a moment to hide his embarrassment.

“I asked Cas and Az for help. I didn’t know what to get you because–well, you’re perfect to me and nothing could ever amount to the love I feel for you. Az suggested I give you something small but meaningful and I know how much you love poems but I’ve never written one so then–”

You interrupt Rhysand with a soft and sweet kiss. When you pull away, Rhysand chases after you but you stop him, pressing your fingers his lips. He plants a kiss on your fingers, holding your gaze.

“Let me read it. The poem you actually wrote.”

“Okay,” Rhysand breathes as he summons another red envelope from the pocket realm. He holds it out to you. “But don’t laugh.”

“Never,” you reassure him as you take the envelope, fingers eagerly tearing it open.

He watches with bated breath, a cascade of emotions swirling within him, as your eyes gracefully traverse from left to right, absorbing every emotion he poured out to you. It's endearing—the tender way your expression, while immersed in his poem, mirrors the very sentiment he wore on his face while crafting it for you. Your lips curve into a radiant smile, and the spark in your eyes begins to glisten with heartfelt tears. In that moment, he can feel the ripples through your shared bond, overwhelming and flooding with an abundance of pure, unbridled love.

“I love it,” you manage to say as you lift your gaze to meet his again. Holding the poem to your chest, you store into the safety of your pocket realm. “I’m going to frame it.”

“I love you,” Rhysand says and then kisses you. “So, so much.”

“I love you, too,” you whisper against his lips and then wrapping your arms around his neck, you pull him even closer to you. “Now, it’s my turn to give you your gift.”

this is the poem:

"If the sun and moon had a baby, it would be you.

Cause you are so beautiful.

You radiate light like the sun.

And you bring me calmness like the moon.

You balance me out like the earth and that’s just the beginning of everything you do.

I think that you’re so gorgeous and sometimes it brings tears to my eyes.

Because how could I get so lucky to have someone so beautiful like you in my life.”

a/n: I thought this poem was really cute, especially given the sun/moon theme of this series. It's 11:58pm where I live so technically, I made it before Valentine's Day was over lol. I apologize if there are any typos. I tend to make them a lot and switch words out (like I caught myself writing lips instead of lap) when I'm tired. This is exactly the type of vibe i'm going for, for Rhys in this series. It's a scene from a kdrama, where the male fell hard first for the female and he's totally endeared by her. Anyway, hope you enjoyed!

tagging: @minnieoo , @phoenixgurl030 (I know this isn't part two but I tagged y'all just in case, y'all were interested ♡)

#rhysand x reader #rhysand x y/n #rhysand x you #rhysand imagine #acotar imagine #acotar x reader #acotar x y/n #acotar x you #acotar fanfiction #rhysand fanfiction #rhys wby au

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visd3stele · 7 months

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DAY 4 - COURTIER AND EMISSARY

from @lucienweekofficial 2023 prompt list♡

I know, I know, you're wondering "is she capable of writing anything but angst?" and the answer is... stick along and you'l see :))

Courtier and Emissary, Lucien once said. With such an ease, the unknowing human girl Feyre was never gave much thought to the title.

Courtier and Emissary, he said again. Now with a bitterness beneath the teary smile. And the harshness of the male's words hit Feyre with the churning burn of hunger from the early days of the Afcheron's downfall. With the breathless fear of fading away, locked between walls she cannot break. A pain the High Lady of the Night Court has long since forgotten.

"Lucien..." the female trailed her protest into nothingness. For what could she say? On the empty shore of Sidra, the night before her sister's marriage.

A couple of months ago, Elain and Azriel revelead their secret relationship to the Inner Circle. Lucien has been away on the Human Lands, traveling between Prythia and the Continent in various brave attempts to mantain peace and break Vassa's curse.

The shadowsinger propossed to the middle Archeron sister which prompted their announcement. Not even Rhy could keep his frown in front of his brother's happiness. Not even Feyre could bite her lips all evening, thinking of her first true friend, against the sight of her sister's radiant smile.

"You are allowed to hurt, Lucien-"

"Am I?" He bit back with a humoreless laugh.

Feyre frowned. "Of course. You are my friend. I'm here for you."

"Great! Perfect! Fantastic! I am feeling so much better, Feyre, now that you established I'm still your friend. How was I such a fool? Expecting you to side with your sister over me?"

All the bitter pain Lcucien kept hidden from the world exploded now, sparkling fire against the chill breeze of the running water.

"Lucien, please."

"I'm fine," the male said all too quickly. When Lucien returned on Solstice, bearing gifts for his mate as usual, he was confronted with an unexpected invitation to tea in the morning.

It was his fault, really. For allowing hopes to catch roots in his heart. Feyre and Rhys have been listening to their talk from the shadowes of Elain's mind. Azriel, Cassian and Nesta have been ready to burst the doors open and interfere, just in case.

In case of what? Lucien thought. Did they really think he'd hurt his mate? Even when she told him he chose another. Even when she asked him to partake in the Breaking Ceremony to make sure the bond between them is cut loose for good. Did they really saw him as nothing more but Beron's son? The cruel, possesive, viscious bastard of the Autumn Court?

Apparently, yes. As he made his way towards his apartment in Velaris, he could feel the hot stares of the Inner Circle burning holes in his back. Only Feyre has been decent – or caring – enough to ask. To actually talk to him about the whole ordeal.

"You are taking this far better than any of us expected," she has said.

And Lucien gave the same humorless laugh then. "It's my job." To swallow his grief and nod. To never raise above his status. He was, after all, a mere employee of the Night Court. Not a friend, not family. Just an out of place, always, Courtier and Emissary.

#my writing #lucien vanserra #my fic #lucienweek2023 #lucien acotar #fic writing #my words #my work

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solarisgod · 2 months

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ROLEPLAY HISTORY !

The rules are simple! Post characters you’d like to roleplay as, have roleplayed as, and might bring back. Then tag ten people to do the same ( if you can’t think of ten, just write down however many you can and tag that number of people ). Please repost, don’t reblog!

CURRENT MUSE(S) :

Astereus Starwake, also known as the Starwake System, of our original series.

Cinnamoroll ( Sanrio ).

WANT TO WRITE :

Cha Jae-hwan ( Chimera ).

Daikichi Karube ( Alice in Borderland ).

Jang Nan-gam ( A Killer Paradox ).

Luigi ( Super Mario Brothers ).

Ma Dong-seok ( The Roundup ).

Sanji ( One Piece ).

Sun Baek ( Sense8 ).

Tatsu ( The Way of Househusband ).

Vash the Stampede ( Trigun ).

Waymond Wang ( Everything Everywhere All At Once ).

Yancy ( Adventures with Markiplier ).

HAVE WRITTEN :

Atlas ( Greek Mythology ).

Conrad ( The Dark Pictures Anthology: Man of Medan ).

Epimetheus ( Greek Mythology ).

Goncharov ( Tumblr's namesake fake film ).

Gu Ja-gyeong ( My Liberation Notes ).

Dark ( Adventures with Markiplier ).

Delsin Rowe ( InFamous: Second Son ).

Handsome Jack ( Borderlands ).

Jack ( English and Appalachian Folklore )

Ken ( Barbie ).

Krieg ( Borderlands ).

Menoetius ( Greek Mythology ).

Mephistopheles ( Faust ).

Moon Knight System ( Marvel ).

Nanami Kento (Jujutsu Kaisen ).

Newton Geiszler ( Pacific Rim ).

Pikachu ( Pokémon ).

Pochita / Chainsaw Devil ( Chainsaw Man ).

Prometheus ( Greek Mythology ).

Rhys Strongfork ( Borderlands ).

Rory Williams ( Doctor Who ).

Steve Harrington ( Stranger Things ).

Tenya Iida ( Boku No Hero Academia ).

The Corinthian ( Sandman ).

Timothy Lawrence ( Borderlands ).

Tony the Clock ( Don't Hug Me I'm Scared )

Wrote many characters from TellTale's the Walking Dead: Clementine, Kenny, Ben, Christa, Omid, Luke, Carlos, Nick, and Javier.

Wrote many original portrayed personified abstract forces and celestial bodies: Sun, Moon, Void / Chaos, Universe / Cosmos, every planets and dwarf planets of the Solar System, every Zodiac sign + constellations, Life, Death, the child of Mother Nature and Father Time ( represents souls + identity + rebirth ), and The Narrative.

WOULD WRITE AGAIN :

Atlas, Gu Ja-gyeong, Mephistopheles, Moon Knight System, Nanami Kento, Pochita / Chainsaw Devil, Newton Geiszler, Tenya Iida, and the Corinthian. If ever, we'll bring back our 130+ multimuse blog with these folks at least one day. ♡

#𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ OOC . ›#𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ GAMES . ›#[ I stole this and you should too! be gay and do crimes! ]#[ anygays I had to really use my mental power to Remember ]#[ and. Damn... ]

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megnificent-reads · 3 months

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A Court of Wings and Ruin - Christ alive/5 ☆

Warning - this review is 1.2k words, and 98% negative. If you love SJM and the ACOTAR series, love that for you /gen. However, for your own mental health, I genuinely would not recommend you read this. For everyone else, and those who hate-read, Let's begin!

~~~

Okay, so I actually rated this 2 stars on Goodreads because I didn’t hate it the whole time but, I’m mad about it so it gets a special rating. ♡

I honestly lament when I was excited to read this book. Being what I refer to as a Lucien Lover (nuanced), I enjoyed a good bit of the beginning of this book. That’s not to say I wholeheartedly enjoyed every word of the first 100 pages of this book.

So we start with Feyre in the throes of rage, becoming a master manipulator. Now, before I put just a minute or two of thought into it, I loved it. I love a girl tearing shit apart and using intellegence as a form of strength. However…

Anybody think she was doing a little too much…?

Like, okay, Tamlin fucked up. Big time. I will admit justice is needed! Love when women take back power! But not only dismantling his entire country but turning everyone against him for things that he actually did not do? Crazy! He sucks! But people still live in that country. We still need order! His life is ruined now and I don’t necessarily think all that was necessary.

Tamlin sidebar: “my father and my father’s father did the Tithe, so I’m going to do it.” Didn’t you acknowledge two books ago that your father sucks absolute ass? What fucking sense does that make? How in the first book was he the Perfect Moral Man that now can’t see the very evident immorality in the shit you’re doing. Anywhoozers.

So, Feyre has her cool girl moments and returns to the Night Court. In book one, I was bored out of my mind until we arrived in Rhys-land. (Good one). This time, it was like the moment we arrived here the magic was lost. I was no longer excited to read. And honestly, I think the big issue was actually our beloved bat-boy, Rhysand.

I don’t know her personally, so this is not an attack on her character, but I’m starting to feel like SJM writes Rhysand based off of her fantasy version of what a man is like. Dominating, but soft and loving. Perfectly moral. Capable of evil, deplorable things, but too loving of people and their dreams to be that way. I’m going to be referring to it as PMS (Perfect Man Syndrome).

Many of her men (sorry, males) are unfortunate PMS victims, but Rhysand is by far the worst. I wish I had underlined it when I was reading so I could cite it, but there’s just something about his actions. He is PMSing so hard that he doesn’t develop at all. He was old enough to be grown during the faerie-UK version of the Amercian Civil War where of course he was anti-slavery the entire time despite being raised by people who appeared to be violent racists. Good for our educated king. He also, of course, runs a sanctuary for abused women.

Of course, I’m not saying that being anti-slavery and supporting abused women is bad. I love it. But like… be real with me here. I know that this is fictional. It’s not real. We can be happy here. But can I have some dimension, please? This man is the personality version of Flat Stanley. We had two conflicts between them since they got together and both were resolved by Rhys nearly getting on his knees and saying everything is his fault and he’s so sorry. The first conflict was just her thinking she stepped out of her Womenly Line and him not even knowing there was an issue.

He’s just so. Fucking. Boring.

Moving on. ♡.

Let’s talk about what makes me so goddamn angry about this book. I’ve seen complaints about SJM where other people are saying that other people call her books feminist literature. I personally have never heard anybody say that, but if I did, I don’t know if I would be able to control the rant that would ensue.

I’m willing to have a civilized conversation, but I don’t remember Feyre actually doing anything. Yes, SJM puts her women in positions of power. Do they use said power? Maybe once or twice.

Amren is an ex-god with powers above any character we’ve met so far. We see it used I think once. The rest of the time is spent talking about her power and her holding down the fort at Velaris while everyone else is off to war.

Morrigan - also very powerful (described only). I remember her power being “truth” and never elaborating on that. She is a known soldier, that doesn’t fight.

During the two huge battles, Feyre, Nesta, and Morrigan are on the ground while Rhys, Cassian, and Azriel are in the air fighting. After the first battle, Feyre is seen tending to her beloved mate’s wounds, Nesta is fetching water for Cassian, and Morrigan is getting mad at Nesta for wanting to fuck Cassian. So strong of all of them.

Azriel is there doing… nothing. Which he has a habit of doing. Speaking of habits, SJM will create characters that I like because I’m excited to see how they will grow and develop.

She then proceeds to do nothing with them.

I know more books are coming, as they will with SJM until the end of time, but it’s starting to drag. I love Elain. Well, I love what Elain could be. She’s a seemingly fragile, docile character. With her Seer powers, I was excited to see her notice the world around her sucks and develop into somone capable of holding their own. Instead, she uses her powers to relay some cryptic messages that no one heeds or even tries to, then she “snaps out of it” and can’t really do anything else.

Azriel has a tragic backstory and seemingly a big story to tell. God, I wish I could ever fucking hear it.

This is getting exceptionally long, but I remembered I had a list of things I wanted from ACOWAR and didn’t receive, so I’ll pick one more thing off.

The Ouroboros. Out of all symbols, the Ouroboros is my favorite. Cycles and inevitability and all that. We spend a good chunk of this book leading up to Feyre retrieving this. It drives everyone mad. Only the strongest can look in it and survive. I was so excited to see what she saw! What the battle with herself would be like! How does she overcome it?

I guess we’ll never know.

She ended up seeing… herself? I guess she wasn’t previously aware of her flaws and then simply accepted them. Would love to have seen it!

And to finally end this review, I think the Ouroboros is a good symbol of every issue I have with this book. There’s so much build up and excitement that ultimately leads nearly no explanation. It’s like there’s ideas and concepts but then no idea how to execute them.

I won’t be reading ACOFAS or ACOSF or anything else. I already didn’t want to, then I found out about the pregnancy thing and. Yeah. I think I’m good off that.

#books #book review #acowar #acowar spoilers #acotar spoilers #anti acotar #anti acowar #anti sjm #anti rhysand #anti feyre #bookblr

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