#Talk to the people you admire kids. It might be the best thing ever

[talvenhenki]

Unreal: what’s something you’d never thought you would accomplish but you did?

Get to talk to a person I admire, not once but twice. The first time was when the two of us went to the book fair to listen to Maria Turtschaninoff and get her autograph on Breven från Maresi - I'm still so happy the two of us got to do that!!

The second time was when I got to chat in the Sid city social club zoom meeting and just be me and have someone (Mr. Sid) just listen to me and not interrupt me even though I get very intense sometimes. And I got to show off my knittings too, how cool was that! I still feel so surreal about it tbh. Anyway, Sid is a literal human sunshine and I feel so lucky I got to talk to him

#peilinsirpale #Orion replies #yes this Mr. Sid is Alexander Siddig a.k.a Siddig el Fadil #Talk to the people you admire kids. It might be the best thing ever #also sorry if I make no sense - fever is hitting me hard with over 2C higher temperatures than my usual ones #Thanks for asking!!

[rlqfpdl]

All I want is you

Apollo!Fem!reader x Jason Grace

Summary: You can’t help but admire Jason. Not knowing he’s doing the same.

Contains: fluff. Characters might seem a bit ooc.

A/N: I noticed the lack of Jason fics so hope you all enjoy this one. I had such fun writing it. Feedback is always welcomed and reqs are open <3

Word count: 1.1k

His skin seemed to glow perfectly, his eyes sparkled with the sun. His perfect silky blonde hair was a bit messy, like he had just woken up. Gods, it was flawless, like gold. His slightly tilted glasses made him look cuter than when he didn't have them on. If you didn't know any better, you would say you're enamored, captivated, charmed, enchan…

“Stop staring, you're drooling,” Will said, pointing towards the corner of his lip and casually continuing to eat his breakfast. You brought your finger towards your lip to confirm. How embarrassing, you thought. “I wasn't staring. I don't know what I could ever be staring at,'' you defended, avoiding Will's gaze. Suddenly, your plate was really interesting as you fiddled around with some pancakes. Smooth, gaslight your brother into thinking he's the crazy one. 

“Sure lover girl, let's pretend you weren't ogling at Mr. Sparky over there,” Will just knew how to push your buttons. Both of you being top healers meant you knew each other better than the rest of your siblings. Sadly, that also meant he knew your weaknesses all too well like a certain blonde he kept talking about.

 “He's way out of my league” you rebutted. You didn't give yourself enough credit. Most would assume you were a daughter of Aphrodite if it weren't for the distinct freckles and soft glow that every Apollo kid seems to have. 

“Yeah well, he likes you back. you guys just need to be a little less shy” he stated as if it were a fact. But it wasn't, well, at least not for you. Jason was just too handsome. Sure, the Aphrodite boys were too, and so were some of the Hermes boys, but Jason was just different in your eyes. It wasn't only about looks; it was his caring personality and how nice he could be. Not that it was a surprise, but considering he is the son of Jupiter you would have thought he would be a little more conceited. 

”You know, you keep saying that, but I don't see it. Plus I can't think of crushes right now; we have to prepare the infirmary.” both you and Will know that deep down, you wanted to believe that Jason liked you back but were always ‘too busy’ to talk about your feelings. 

Especially on capture the flag days, You weren't one to participate; fighting isn't your thing. You were half decent with a bow but just awful at playing, landing you with the amazing job of nursing everyone back to health. You would think people knew better than to slash each other to almost death, knowing that their desert privilege was on the line. But that never seemed to stop anyone from creating more work for the Apollo cabin. 

You sighed as you prepared some of the beds in the infirmary, having gauzes and ambrosia ready at your disposal. Singing softly as you worked, maybe you weren't blessed with amazing archery skills or astonishing arts abilities, but you had other skills in your favor. Like your voice and talent with the lyre. Most of the camp would agree that you were the best singer from the Apollo cabin, often leading the sing-alongs at the campfires or just singing sweet children's songs to the little ones at camp. 

Caught up in your singing and folding of sheets, you didn't hear the conch being blown or the screaming campers celebrating their victory or announcing their complaints over losing. So, to say you almost had a heart attack when you heard a soft voice call your name was truly an understatement. 

“Gods Austin you scared me,” you said, looking at your brother as he smiled softly, “Sorry you just have a patient ready for you, doc,” he said, smirking slightly as he was up to something. “I'll attend some; tell Will to take care of the rest” You turned around, not looking at your now creepily smiling brother. You started putting a little tray on one of the beds . Austin continued talking, “Oh but there is this camper who has specially requested for you,” he said as he dragged said camper towards you. “Okay well bring them up; i don't have time to attend everybody,” your voice started to faint as you looked up towards this oh so special camper that requested you. 

“I can come back at another time if you're too busy,” he said sheepishly, scratching the back of his head with rosy cheeks, he was embarrassed. But now you sported matching red cheeks as you looked at him intensely in awe of his presence. “No, you fine Jason please sit” you gestured towards the bed. “I got nicked with a sword; it's not that bad” he explained, tilting his head, his voice was ringing in your ears like a charm.

“Can i touch your face” you mumbled as you began to study the small gash he had from afar. “Sure,” Jason stuttered a bit, his face getting a little bit redder. You softly touched his jaw, further inspecting his injury. “Well, it's not deep enough for ambrosia or nectar, but it's still kind of deep,” you stated grabbing a cotton ball with a pair of tweezers “I’m just going to clean it up and heal it ,” you said, your voice shaking a bit. Jason could only muster a hum as you placed a tiny amount of alcohol into his wound. He winced at the sting, but it didn't seem to bother him that much, especially with how gently you touched his face. 

Both of you fell into an uncomfortable silence, not knowing what to say, faces a bit too close to each other, entering in panic mode. Yet Jason built up enough courage as he whispered a faint “Your voice is so beautiful.” You couldn't help but look into his blue eyes, eternally getting lost in those precious sky-blue irises. Your faces got closer slowly, instinctively, as if it was the only way to respond. Trying to wrap your head around the boy's words truly left you speechless. But life decided to ruin this perfect moment as you heard someone speak. 

“I need some help with some Ares kids,” Will said standing there, clearly seeing he had interrupted something. “Right,” you responded brushing off nonexistent dust from your camp shirt and looking back at Jason. “Your wound should feel better now, let me know if it doesn't,” you said, all giddy at the thought of him coming back. He just nodded shyly, trying to say anything as you walked closer to Will but ultimately stayed silent. 

“Your voice is so beautiful, marry me Y/N” mocked Will as both of you walked towards the other side of the infirmary, punching his stomach, “Shut up” you whispered. Gods, Jason Grace might just be the death of you. 

#percy jackon and the olympians #hero’s of olympus #jason grace #fanfic #ria fics #jason grace x reader #jason grace x you #will solace #apollo!reader #apollo cabin #jason grace fluff #tooth rotting fluff

[blacktacmopsi]

The NSFW Alphabet: Keegan Russ Platinum Collector's Edition

-------------------------------------------------------

A- Aftercare (What does it look like?)

Keegan is great at this...in his own way. He'll hold you close as you come down and just remain silent listening to your breathing and heartbeat. He'll cradle you against him enjoying the soothing silence.

B- Body count (How many people have they fucked)

Not many. Keegan is about quality not quantity. Couple this with his personality of not being social, his numbers are VERY low.

C- Cum (Where do they do it? How much is there?)

Keegan likes his creampies. If you let him, he'll give you a good one and boy, will it be a CREAM pie indeed. His production is thick and he might ask you if he can look at it and admire it. He thinks you look very beautiful with it in you.

D- Daydreaming (How often do they find themselves having dirty (day)dreams about their partner)

Keegan sometimes daydreams about his partner if he's feeling particularly horny. If he's single, he'll just daydream about sex or masturbating.

E- Emotion (Do they fuck when angry? Excited? Do they get emotional after?)

Oh, does Keegan love the emotional side of sex. He likes the eroticism that can be built. He could best be described as a black hole or whirlpool when it comes to his emotional intensity- building and building before it becomes very intense that you're just sucked in completely in the feelings he can coax out of you. He's not the kind to hate fuck or anything like that. At most, he might get a bit handsy if he's pent up after coming home from a deployment.

F- Famous (Would they ever be a camgirl/boy? How popular would their channel be?)

Absolutely not. Keegan isn't social so showing his ass or dick on camera to randos is never going to happen.

G- Goated (What are they the absolute best at?)

Dirty talk! Keegan can make you cum with his sexy ass voice telling you some of the he dirtiest things you've ever heard. Get ready because his words are a real panty dropper.

H- Hair (How much do they shave? Does the carpet match the drapes? Do they mind hair on their partner?)

Keegan is never bare fully. He bounces between manscaping and letting it all grow out. All his body hair is black like the hair on his head and he totally doesn't mind his woman being in her natural state. He kind of digs it.

I- Intimacy (How intimate are they during it?)

Very. As mentioned, Keegan prefers the more emotional side of sex and with this comes a deep intimacy. He's not the kind to do one night stands but would definitely bare his soul to you in a committed relationship in the bedroom.

J-  Joking (How serious are they during the deed?)

This can vary. Keegan isn't allways Mr. Super Serious. He can get playful and silly but it all depends on his mood.

K- Kinks (Their five biggest)

Though he's not one for straight up kinks he does have some things he really likes.

Creampies: He REALLY likes cumming in you. He'll want to see it drip out and he might even push it back in with his fingers.

Mutual masturbation: If you are in a well established relationship with Keegan, he'll want to watch some porn with you and go downtown to rub town. He'll either do it to you or you both sit next to each other and do it to yourselves.

Sensual massage. He's not opposed to doing this as a form of foreplay. Plus, it feels really good both giving and receiving.

Dirty talk. Tell him the filthiest things you can. If you can get him groaning with your words, you're golden.

Oral. Suck this man's dick, now! He'll roll over for you if you give him a stellar BJ Blazkowicz.

L- Location (Where are they down to fuck?)

Really anywhere private and away from the public eye. Ideally Keegan likes to get jiggy with it in the confines of his home. But if the armory is empty on base and you're both in the mood then it's fair game.

M- Music (Do they like to listen to songs during the deed? If so what ones?)

Dragula by Rob Zombie on repeat. Just kidding. Keegan prefers the natural sounds of love making and fucking. Let him hear those moans and whimpers and he'll contribute his as well making a symphony of sexual pleasure.

N- No (Something they would never do).

Keegan isn't into anything that would deal with body fluids like shit and piss. He also is not down for sex regarding things that are too out there for his square ass. Dressing as clowns? Age play? Diapers? Licking batteries? Hard pass! In fact, don't bring the unusual to the bedroom with him.

O- Orgy (Will they ever have group sex? If so with who?)

Hell no! Keegan? Mr. Not-very-social- around- people? You have a higher chance of meeting bigfoot before you see his glorious dick in an orgy. 

P- Position (What position do they favorite? Are they the giver/receiver in the position?)

Keegan is not picky about positions but he does have a soft spot for Cowgirl because he likes to see you and your body fully. Really, he's both a giver & receiver depending on the position and the mood of what's going on.

Q- Quirks (Do they have any weird traits in bed?)

He might request to keep the skull mask on. Wheather this is a joke or not is unknown.

R- Rough (What’s their pace?)

Keegan can get rough if you can coax that side of him out. If you're having the deep, erotic sex with him then the pace is slow and intense. If you're having a good fuck with him, it will go fast.

S- Stamina (How many rounds can they last?)

It ain't what it used to be. He's at that point in his life where, depending, he could either go again for a round two or sleep...and sleep is probably the more likely outcome.

T- Toys (Do they use em? What ones? On their partner or themselves?)

Keegan isn't one for toys. He's old school with his hand. If you bring a toy to use in the bedroom, he'll use it on you if you request.

U- Urgent (Their opinions on quickies)

Keegan would rather not. It's rare that he does a quicky these days opting to have a long intimate session.

V- Volume (How loud are they in bed?)

Oh pookies, he is a moaner and a groaner and a talker. HE. IS. VOCAL.

W- WorldWideWeb (What sex things have they googled? What’s their porn history?)

Keegan has a few porn bookmarks saved. A few are good creampie vids and others are things like shower sex.

X- Xtra (A fun lil random fact)

Keegan once read an erotic novel and he loved it. It's something he'll never admit to.

Y- Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Well, Keegan is a man so it skews high. But he is in his late thirties so it's not like it was when he was in his twenties. His drive is healthy for a man his age.

Z- Zzz (How fast do they fall asleep after sex?)

These days, Keegan can knock out after pretty quickly. But he is considerate and will spoon with you as he drifts off to slumberland.

No pressure tags: Whoever sees this :)

#BlackTacMopsi Writes Garbage #call of duty #keegan p russ #cod keegan #call of duty ghosts #cod ghosts #keegan cod #keegan cod ghosts #keegan smut #call of duty keegan #keegan russ #keegan russ smut

[thatsexcpisces]

Astrology observations pt.5

- I’ve noticed that many of the people who have an alcohol addiction or drink A LOT when they go out, are Pisces moons

- people with Saturn in the 2nd house may have felt that they always had the less fortunate family when it came to money and way of living, and admired other richer families for being able to afford things they wanted (may have had trauma regarding poverty)

- Lilith in 3h/9h people may have felt insecure when it comes to an academic setting or situation meaning they probably felt dumber than others or afraid to express their true opinions. They may have had teachers or siblings who tried to make them feel stupid or treated them badly.

- Taurus moons have very complicated relationships with food. Some of my friends have this placement and they can go from having a serious eating disorder and struggling to eat anything to later overeating, always bringing food with them, always making sure they eat well, etc

- i feel like the sign in your 5th house shows your opinion on wanting children or how you would treat your children in the future. Ex: Taurus/cancer in the 5th house people may want to nurture and care for their child and look forward to having one. Sagittarius in the 5h may prefer their freedom and don’t really plan on having kids that early on.

- Pluto-Venus aspect people really bring out the scorpion energy in relationships imo. They can go to extremes with their possessiveness and jealousy over someone they love and can sometimes even feel that they love so deeply and no one matches their energy or others don’t care as much as they do.

- On that note, Having 8h synastry with someone is SO FUCKING INTENSE. Especially if one of you has your moon in the other person’s 8h. The moon person feels more imo and they’re the one that gets easily obsessed over the other person and stalks the hell out of them/watches their every move. I feel like it then takes the house person more time for their obsession to grow and to realize how much they need/love the moon person.

- This is a weird observation but Cancer risings have moments where they just randomly talk in a baby voice for no reason lol (unironically or ironically)

- If you have mars trine/square/sextile Pluto you’re def the hottest person in the room

- I feel like gemini men are more “pick-me” and brag more than Leo men. Like they just love talking about themselves lol

- People are so naturally attracted to sun-jupiter aspects and Leo rising people. Like they just draw people in and make friends so easily. They just have some sort of energy to them where they could be sitting in a room and people come up and talk to them automatically.

- Mars in 4h people easily get upset and annoyed by people in their household

- Individuals w Moon in the 8h May inherit mental illness from their mother or their mother could already have some sort of a mental illness that made their life very difficult

- Women with their ascendant in square or opposition to Lilith could likely be hated on by other females or women are naturally jealous and envious of them because they possess such a raw and sexually attractive energy

- Virgo moons 🤝 giving people their unsolicited opinion when no one ever asked them for it

- Venus in Capricorns will remember the smallest and I mean the TINIEST details about you If they’ve ever liked you. Even if they got over their crush on you, you 2 could be having a normal conversation and they will mention the most detailed thing about you that you didn’t even remember about yourself. It’s scary

- Libra mercuries on the other hand, actually have trouble remembering most details. They might forget things like your birthday here and there but the most ironic thing is Libra placements pick and choose something specific you did to remember and maybe even hold a grudge on, and you’ll never have a clue as of what it is.

- Mars in Gemini are so funny when they’re upset. They have the best insults and roasts which gives them no shame in absolutely destroying you with words

- A developed Capricorn woman’s confidence is the equivalent of an Aries man’s confidence (so they’re really loud and proud)

- Don’t ever fuck with someone who has Neptune or Jupiter in their 12th house cause the universe will be BREATHING down your back for anything bad you do to them

- Idk why everyone says all Aquarius are introverted and antisocial when tbh they’re some of the most confident, laid-back, and extroverted people you’ll ever meet. Many of the Aquarius I’ve met always tell me they’ll never miss an opportunity to go out and are very social

#astrology #astrology observations #zodiac #zodiac signs #capricorn #gemini #leo #taurus #aries #aquarius #astrotips #astrology notes #venus #pisces #neptune #synastry #synastry observations #virgo #horoscope

[alkhale]

i know it might have been mentioned before, but if it hasn't been touched on already, could we pretty pretty pls see what a marine au for memos would look like? who would Hoku work for? would she ironically make for a good marine?

The following AU takes place in a timeline where Hoku did eventually join the Marines. After spending time on Dawn Island with Luffy, when Hoku sets off on her own journey, reuniting with Ace, meeting Hack, etc, only after fixing up Mayman/meeting Kid, does she seek out Tsuru and decide to take her up on her offer to become "an upstanding marine" and to avoid Luffy

(The scene with Shanks below takes place sometime 3D2Y post-time skip)

Hoku decides to play at being a marine because she (1) finds them constantly in the line of fire and at risk of work hazards (2) believes there's something specific she can do from the inside of the institute she'd like to explore, mainly helping other Pokians and maaaaaybe making things a bit easier for a certain king of pirates (because she knows she can always quit!) (3) it will help her avoid being a pirate with luffy and being involved further in the main story

Despite this plan, she still seems to run into one too many pirates

"What's your relationship with Straw Hat Luffy?" "Who's that?" "Our men saw him trying to kidnap you onto his ship! Was it for ransom?" "He just wanted me to try Sanji's new dish."

"But you're a marine, we're supposed to be capturing pirates?"

"I didn't see that in the handbook."

"But you never read the handbook!"

Hoku underwent rigorous training with Tsuru, mainly under the tough old lady's jurisdiction—this helps her particularly avoid discipline from several other marines. There have often been requests for her to join other commands, some from marines who want to teach her a lesson, others from marines who genuinely have fun working with her

When Tsuru isn't training her, she's being worked to near death by Garp

She has one of the highest disciplinary records in academy history

Some cadets don't understand how she can get away with getting into so much trouble, sometimes a marine grunt will see her being forced to clean out an entire base's cafeteria while someone supervises and they're like?? again??? how is she not in impel down?? tried for mutiny??

Some people eventually get the memo—it's favoritism/abuse of power/strangely good luck in some occasions

Some marines don't like it one bit, they have it out for Hoku, she doesn't really care

Garp never, ever stops talking anyone's ear off about how his beautiful, adorable granddaughter is going to be one of the best marine's the world has ever seen

Tsuru has unofficially officially made herself Hoku's grandmother in a way. She and Garp often have petty fights over Hoku stories. They fight a lot over who's squad Hoku has to be on

Over the years, she's actually made enough contributions and done quite the number of great feats, enough to land her at captain level, (rear admiral candidate at Tsuru and Garp's behest) but Hoku sometimes keeps her petty officer title, keeping the perks that come with captain status and the likes

She doesn't mind abusing her power and shrugging off her responsibilities

Whenever she's assigned missions where she has a whole squad to take care of, the marines assigned to her are usually wary, uncertain and thinking they're unlucky

Until they actually work with Hoku and are like??? we're doing work today? did we just bust this human trafficking ring? did we just liberate an entire island stuck in a pirate tyranny? and other times they come, asking her what their job is for today and she's just like? go home there's nothing to do

If they really bother her, she'll send them off to different islands and countries that need help. "Go distribute these supplies to here." "They asked for someone to help rebuild their village." "Put those dumb ships to use and go delivery this to them."

Hoku has made her way around several different bases, under several different chains of commands, (she is now infamous) usually on a sort of temp job kind of borrowed basis, but officially she's under Tsuru's wing

Smoker has gone through several different stages of mental strife and grief with Hoku, originally being distrustful when the criminal who blew up a base in Tretar became a marine, then becoming somewhat determined to help mold her into a damn good marine, then to becoming strangely fixed (obsessed) with either being in charge of ensuring she receives punishment/is not mistreated for her origins within the lower ranks, and they are even sometimes seen gambling together on occasion. They have a funny relationship these two, Hoku's too lazy to try to understand it.

Her outfit as a marine is a lot like her original, however she wears a black top instead of white and with black pants. Her jacket is white instead with her usual accessories, and the only thing that helps people actually identify her as a marine is the standard issue marine cap she wears

Hoku has also secretly become a huge collector of wanted posters. It originally started small, just taking the wanted posters of people she cared about, but now it's spiraled into a full-on sizable collection where she has different versions of wanted posters, original prints, first roll-outs and etc. She trades with Bradnew and other marines and hangs them all up on her wall or keeps them safe in a minted book

Hoku often abuses any and all of her rights as a marine. She's really, really good at being a bad marine.

"Hey, did you hear the news?"

The petty officer looked up from where they'd been tasked to dust and clean the entire meeting room to perfection. Several other cadets and chore boys had been called from the barracks, each ordered to ensure that the following few rooms that would be in use for the meeting would be ready at a moment's notice.

For what meeting? He had no idea.

"No," he said, because he didn't know. There was so much gossip going around base these days he could hardly keep up. "What was it?"

First there'd been the rumor that one of the Four Emperors of the sea was on the move about the Grand Line, cutting and going as he pleased. Any movement from an Emperor was grounds for mass panic. Then there'd been talk that newly appointed Fleet Admiral Akainu had almost burned another ranking marine alive. Less serious and more on the interesting side, word was floating around that the Vice Admiral Smoker was seeing someone, which was juicy gossip in its own right because Vice Admiral Smoker?

"Apparently he's always following her around," someone said.

"He requests transfers and is always grumbling about them, I think he's worried they're going to end up with someone else—"

"Even Captain Tashigi seems to be aware and they're always—"

For today, however, it seemed something different was brewing amongst headquarters. Other officers were making a ruckus while the upper brass seemed particularly miffed—which usually only happened if it involved someone outside their scope of power influence doing something they didn't like—

"One of the Seven Warlords is visiting HQ!"

The petty officer blinked, opening his mouth before closing it and then finally deciding on his next words, "Well, that's big news, but it's not unheard of news man. They're required to come for summons."

The petty officer shrugged. "Especially people like Bartholomew Kuma or First-Son of the Sea Jimbei. They're always on time."

"No, no, you don't understand," the marine looked around as though someone would hear before motioning for the petty officer to come closer. He rolled his eyes, leaning over the table. "It isn't just any of the Warlords... It's Hawk-Eye Mihawk!"

The petty officer dropped his broom, turning to his fellow marine. The other man looked smug now. "Dracule Mihawk is coming to HQ?"

"That's what I'm saying!"

"You should've said so sooner!" the petty officer scooped up his broom, renewing his cleaning with vigor. "He's not just a regular Warlord—that guy never responds to his summons! Never!"

"See what I mean! This is big news! Why now? What do you think convinced him to come?"

"It must be something big," he said, shaking his head as the two of them not-so-discreetly made their way to the wide windows overlooking the base's dock. They'd get a full view of the elusive swordsman this way. "Do you think they're mobilizing for something?"

"I don't know, man. Think they'll let us sit in on the—"

A loud clamor came from the ground level beneath them. The two marines quickly looked at each other and then pressed their faces up against the glass. Their fellow officers below them were rushing around on the docks, forming into greeting lines and looking sick with nervousness. One man seemed to be praying.

It was understandable behavior, to be honest. Dracule Mihawk was known for being an unknown man and more often then not he'd felled one too many marine ships simply because they'd been in his way.

"I see his ship!" the marine beside him said. They pressed harder to the glass, squinting for the full view. "Always gives me the creeps. Who sails around in a coffin?"

He thought about telling his fellow officer that there was quite the number of weirder ships out there, but the sudden silence below them made the two of them pause. They glanced to each other and then back down.

The dock had gone eerily silent. Marines shook at the knees while hardened captains and a single vice admiral waited to greet the Warlord of the Sea.

One figure, however, suddenly came into view along the dock, sticking out like a sore thumb compared to the rest.

Her bright white hair fluttered absently with the wind, tugged this way and that as she paced up and down the dock, looking out across the ocean. She skirted the edge of the pier, however, just shy of the water with her hands stuffed into her jacket pockets.

"Who the hell is that?" the marine beside him said. "And why isn't she falling into line? What's her rank?"

"That's..." the petty officer caught a full view of the woman's face now, freezing at the infamous half-heart curving around her eye. "Cap—Serga—Lieute—" he paused, uncertain of her current ranking now. "Officer Hoku!"

"Hoku?" the marine looked confused, "who the hell is that?"

"Officer Hoku!" the petty officer repeated, looking at the man in shock. "You haven't heard of her? Vice Admiral Tsuru's right hand woman, the officer who blew up over ten marine bases—"

"She blew up our own bases?"

"It's a long story—the woman who apparently violated the nefarious Trafalgar Law—"

"Violated?"

"I heard what she did to him was so disgusting, even the officers near her threw up themselves! The one who fought Fleet Admiral Akainu's authority multiple times, got caught gambling in Crocodile's casino, vandalized a whole part of Marineford—"

"And she's not in Impel Down?" the man said, aghast. "Are you sure she's on our side?"

"Oh, sure. She's been credited with busting the largest human trafficking rings in history! She's also brought in multiple heinous pirates, and on multiple occasions they say she's been able to deescalate several run-ins with huge bounty pirates like the Straw—"

"I guess it makes sense why they're sending her to meet someone like a shichibukai," the marine said thoughtfully. The petty officer paused, a bit offended he didn't get to finish Hoku's infamous and notorious list. "Need a crazy officer to handle a crazy pirate, right?"

A commotion finally broke out below them. The vice admiral waiting to oversee the whole affair was shouting at Hoku now, lecturing her about her lack of respect. The white haired marine simply took a seat on a wooden crate, picking at her ear and absently flicking off toward the vice admiral's feet.

The marine gaped while the petty officer stiffled a laugh with a cough.

"Look, it's him!"

Hoku seemed to have thought the same thing, turning sharply from the vice admiral and jumping to her feet. A single, haunting figure of a man stepped out from the edge of his coffin. His coat flared out dangerously about his heels, wind catching against the fluffed plume atop his head. Cadets started to shake at the knees at the sight of the man—

"Mihawk!"

The cadets around them went completely pale, jaws growing slack as Hoku flew across the dock, taking off with a flying leap and sailing through the air, arms and legs oustretched.

Dracule Mihawk did not move. He remained, still as a statue as the marine promptly wrapped her arms and legs around his head. The vice admiral's jaw dropped to the floor, one hand reaching for his saber uselessly.

Mihawk remained still, allowing Hoku to situate herself as she rubbed her cheek over the top of his hat, laughing with a sound so sweet with joy, it made the petty officer flush. She turned around, keeping herself wrapped completely over his head.

The rest of the marines continued to stare, waiting for Mihawk to throw her into the water or cut her in half.

"I didn't know you were coming to visit!" Hoku said happily, eyes shining with affection. "What's it for? You get called in by the brass or somethin'?"

"It was a whim." Mihawk neither cut her nor tossed her into the ocean. Instead, the man simply began to walk with perfect ease, toting Hoku along as though she were an added weight to his hat. "I will be departing shortly."

"Already! You've got a stay for at least a bit! Actually, aren't you hear for a meeting?"

"I heard of no such thing."

"Oh, cool then! Why don't we grab something to eat?"

"You mean to spar?"

"I-I never said that! Eat! I said eat!"

"Come, then. We shall take up arms—"

"Wait, wait, wait!"

The petty officer quickly began to add another feat to Hoku's growing list. The marine beside him continued to gape.

- - - - - - - - -

"Hmm," Hoku's brows furrowed in thought, fingers moving in a rhythmic, soothing motion. "This isn't a bad idea, right?"

"It's a bit cramped."

"Right, right, sorry about that. Just give it a few more minutes. Those guys out there are runnin' around like chickens without a head."

"Aye."

Hoku's fingers flexed. Her cheeks flushed a bit as she cleared her throat. As subtly as she could, she pressed herself tighter to the figure squeezed into the armory closet beside her. He made no move in protest, simply shuffling a bit to accommodate her and Hoku felt her cheeks flush.

"Do you need more room?" he asked.

"No, no," Hoku cleared her throat. "Sorry. Mind if I get a bit closer."

"That's okay," he said kindly. "I don't mind."

Hoku sneakily reached her arms more around his waist. He turned again in her arms and she felt her heart hammer wildly now, cheeks flushed as she slowly, carefully pressed her cheek against him.

Hoku shut her eyes in bliss. Soft. Like a cloud. And so warm. So, so warm. Ka. I don't mind staying like this for another hour—

"Shambles."

Hoku let out a squawk of surprise, her and her companion ripped clean from the closet and appearing hovering in the air for a moment. A thin film of blue surrounded the two of them, Hoku's arms and legs wrapped shamefully and scandalously around the other as her eyes went wide and then they both crashed onto cobblestone floors.

Hoku groaned, a second flick of someone's fingers leaving her on her ass before a pair of long legs. She rubbed her tailbone, looking up with a disgruntled frown as dark, brooding eyes gazed directly back at her.

"Traffy," Hoku greeted casually. "I didn't know you were here."

Law gave Hoku one long, withering look before he glanced over to the mound of soft white fur collapsed on the floor still, his fluffy cheeks flushed a soft pink.

"Were you taking advantage of Bepo?"

Hoku coughed. She refused to meet Law's eyes, fiddling instead with the top of his boot.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Captain Hoku!" Hoku blinked, looking around the side of Law's legs as a crowd of marines skidded to a halt before them. "Shall we arrest these fiends?"

"Nah," Hoku sighed, standing up as she dusted herself off. Law tipped his head to the side, regarding her coolly. "No need."

"B-But they're pirates!"

"I didn't see anything." Hoku turned on her heel, giving Bepo a wink. The polar bear's cheeks flushed a brighter pink and she grinned, saunteering off. "Let's head back to the ship—"

Tattooed fingers enclosed smoothly around her wrist. Hoku blinked, once, twice, before she glanced down to the larger hand engulfing hers. She followed it up to a calm, unreadable expression, dark, half-lidded eyes slowly meeting her own.

Something devious flickered, like a dark little shadow across Law's face.

Hoku paled.

"On an island surrounded by marines," Law said slowly, his voice low, curling around her ears. "I suppose we ought to take a hostage for safe passage, right?"

Hoku grinned nervously.

-------- ------ -------

"Cap—Officer Hoku! Officer Hoku!"

Hoku sighed, forcing her eyes to remain shut. Sunlight warmed the exposed skin of her belly, whispering temptingly to urge her into a well-needed nap in a rare moment of peace. The island they'd been called to investigate had seemed to resolved itself, no more terrorizing, plundering pirates and simply happy, cheerful townsfolk.

She didn't know what good luck had helped them out, but she wasn't about to complain over a free chance to kick back on the island before HQ called them back. They weren't expected for another week—this was the perfect chance to slack offcget some rest.

Hurried footsteps still rushed her way. Hoku kept her arms behind her head, lounging over one of her drawn hammocks. Usually ignoring them for awhile did the trick—

"Officer Hoku!" the marine finally panted, wheezing as she skidded to a halt beside Hoku. "Cap—Hoku! It's an emergency!"

Hoku kept silent, turning onto her side.

"The—at the docks," the girl panted. Her eyes were round with fear, knees shaking. "Docks!"

Hoku continued to sway peacefully in the sun.

"A ship, docked!" she inhaled a great breath of air.

"It's one of the Four Emperor's of the Sea—Red Haired Shanks!"

Hoku slipped out of her hammock, slamming face first into the wood below her. The marine jumped, hands flying to her mouth as Hoku quickly shot to her feet, nose red from her fall and eyes wide in disbelief.

"Who?"

"Red Haired Shanks!" the marine cried. Hoku's jaw went slack, eyes round. "O-Our men are currently in a perimeter around him! Apparently he's been spending time on this island for the past few days and—"

"They're doing what?" Hoku squawked. "Our orders are to never engage with Emperors unless ordered—oh for—ka!"

The marine opened her mouth to deliver the most pressing part of the news, but Hoku was already running past her, racing faster than she could ever hope to catch up to.

"And he's..." the marine started weakly. "Asking for you..."

Hoku skidded to a halt before massive blockade of blue and white bodies. She scowled, quickly forcing her way through, barking out quick and concise orders as her men whirled around, eyes widening at her appearance, jumping in and shouting left and right about emperor, what do we do? and Captain Hoku, stay back! This man is—

Hoku let out a screech as she tripped into the clearing, finally pushing past the wall of bodies.

A single arm reached out, a hand wrapping gently around her arm to hold her steady.

Hoku froze, her eyes shooting up.

"Dove," Shanks said, voice thick with fondness. "It's been awhile."

Hoku's traitorous heart fluttered at the sight of that slow, cheerful grin. She pointedly coughed, dusting herself off as Shanks' eyes flickered with amusement, stepping back, fingers lingering slightly on her arm so she could straighten herself.

"Pirate," Hoku said casually, the hint of a tease in her tone. Shanks raised a playful brow in turn. "As... what rank am I right now?"she turned to her men behind her.

"Just an officer, ma'am!"

"As commanding officer," Hoku crossed her arms over her chest. Shanks hand fell back to his side, fingers curling slightly. "I'm obligated to ask what one of the Four Emperors of the Sea is doing in this humble town."

"Well," Shanks glanced over his shoulder, back toward the dock where the Red Force was waiting. He could sense the playful jeers of his crew over the lip of the bow. "Miss Marine... It isn't a crime to be stocking up on some supplies and catching a short break now, is it?"

Hoku pretened to think his words over. Shanks' eyes glimmered with mirth.

The marine surrounded them continued to gape, frozen in disbelief.

"It's interesting timing," Hoku said. Shanks hummed for her to continue. "We were originally here on a distress call, but just as we were about to dock, we found out the issue had already been taken care of..."

"What luck," Shanks said with a grin. "I suppose that leaves you with some time to perhaps... relax yourself, aye?"

Hoku's mouth parted to retort and then she paused. Hoku blinked, looking up at Shanks in stunned surprise as she tried to make the little click of what she'd just heard in her head. But when he says it like that... no, wait. There's no way he'd know—huh?

Shanks watched the gears turn, eyes crinkling at the corners. "I know how hard you marines are always working—"

"Hoku!" Shanks eyes flickered to where a man broke the ranks of the gathered crowd, shoulders squared with whatever confidence he'd mustered. Shanks regarded him easily, expression relaxed as he approached Hoku. "We should retreat! We need to leave immediately and report the situation back to HQ!"

Hoku turned back to the marine. "It's alright. It's... a bit of a long story, but you guys know how it goes these days. He's—"

"Not like one of the other pirates!" the marine continued, gaze fearfully flickering to an amused looking Shanks and back. "With the others we understood, but this is an Emperor of the Sea! Cap—Officer Hoku, we should go!"

"I know, I know," Hoku appeased. "But don't—"

A different marine broke the ranks now, reaching out a grabbing Hoku's elbow. The first marine looked shocked while Hoku remained nonchalant, expression cool.

Shanks' gaze slowly flickered to where his fingers pressed indents into her skin.

The marine scowled viciously. "I ain't gettin' fired because of—

Shanks simply glanced over the top of Hoku's head.

Hoku's knees buckled for a moment, trembling under the sheer force until she quickly rightened herself, looking up at the pirate before her in disbelief.

Left and right the marine officers behind her dropped to the floor like flies, foam spilling out of some of their mouths as they crashed onto the ground. The man who'd grabbed Hoku in particular had been the first to collapse, hacking and clawing at his head before he fell face forward, pale and ashen. Hoku watched all of them, jaw going slack until not a single man was left standing, wiped out in a manner of seconds.

Warily, she turned her gaze back to playfully dark eyes, already watching her in turn.

"...even I have to say," Hoku began slowly, "that was a bit much, don't you think?"

"I never said I was a patient man," Shanks said almost sweetly, but his tone was sly and his eyes crinkled at the corners, shameless. "Now, Dove..."

Shanks offered her his arm, lips curling at the corner into something mischievous. His eyes watched her, half-lidded and almost lazy.

They burned, never leaving her face.

Hoku felt her pulse racing beneath her skin, forcing herself to appear relaxed.

"Shall we catch up a bit?" Shanks said, a slight husk to his tone.

"...I could threaten to make quite the arrest you know," Hoku said, only because she needed time to calm down.

Shanks tipped his head to the side, seeming to humor the thought. He hummed then, shutting his eyes as though going a step further and imagining the scenario. He turned his arm toward her, offering his wrist.

"I suppose I could come willingly," he said lightly, his words curling all about her, "If it were a beautiful woman like you... but I'm afraid I've only got one hand to offer..."

Shanks grinned impishly. "You'd have to cuff me to yourself."

Hoku snorted, crossing her arms over her chest. Shanks laughed, a full, cheerful sound. "You sure that's a good idea?"

"Well, I suppose it could be quite a bit to handle."

"More than you can handle?" Hoku grinned.

Shanks' eyes glittered then, like a ripple, and Hoku felt a thin shiver run down her spine, like the playful drag of a fingertip ghosting along her back.

"I don't know," Shanks murmured into her ear, leaning down. "I'd have to find out for myself."

Weakly, Hoku hooked her arm through his, making the decision for him.

Shanks laughed, a bellowing, heartfelt sound. He pulled her along into his side, his cloak flaring out behind them, almost wrapping around Hoku as they made their way down to the port.

"Aw, dove, don't pout. I promise I won't bite."

"You might lose a tooth or two if you try that."

"Dahaha! I thought you'd be sweeter since it's been so long! Is this any kind of reunion?"

"I was never sweet to you."

"Mmm, what does a man have to do to get a woman out of his league to give him a smile half as sweet as the ones she gives to that brooding—"

"Ten million beli," Hoku said on instinct. She paused then, suddenly growing pale as she half turned to Shanks, stepping a step back but unable to get very far with her arm still hooked through his—Shanks let her go a little ways away.

(But not very far.)

"Actually, wait, I take that—"

"Why, dove," Shanks laughed, grinning almost boyishly. "I suppose that could be easily arranged—"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Hoku grumbled, trying to force the embarrassed red crawling up her neck to disappear. Shanks watched the dark flush along the nape of her neck with half-lidded eyes. "I know that amount ain't much these days to an Emperor of the seas—"

"It isn't that," Shanks said lightly, his words curling playfully. Hoku blinked, looking back up at him curiously.

Deep red stood out brightly against the expanse of white. Strands of Shanks' hair tickled against the side of her head as Hoku froze. Shanks leaned down, curling around her, smoothly tucking her against his side—the action forced Hoku to bend a bit, back arching ever so slightly as Shanks' lips brushed against her ear.

Hoku caught a glimpse of dark eyes beneath crimson strands. They curved, playful as always at the corners, but still a shudder threatened to run through her—the light press of Shanks' fingers on the side of her hip—when did he move his hand—

"You're worth much more than that, dove."

Hoku swallowed. She meant to say, "Oh, yeah?" but the sound that came out instead was a soft, slightly shaky, "Mmnh?"

Shanks hummed in affirmation, his eyes absently sliding behind her. "But I suppose it's easy to forget that when you've been surrounded by men who don't quite..." his gaze swept over the passed out, foaming marines at their feet, "Know how to value a woman properly, aye?"

Shanks paused briefly, brows raising slightly in surprise as he glanced down to the slender, scarred fingers now examining Gryphon, slid clean from its sheath. His sword rested with care in Hoku's hands as she inspected the current status of the blade.

Her eyes were half-lidded in faux disinterest, expression cool as she absently met his brightening gaze.

"And a heinous, shameless pirate would know better?"

"Hmm," Shanks grinned, walking the two of them back deeper into port. He remembered there being quite the delicious chef charring food in an open fire pit by the port.

"I suppose we'll have to find out."

-the shanks was too self-indulgent, anytime i think of writing a little bit of this man, he manages to steal another paragraph from me

#memos #memos au #hoku #shanks #trafalgar law #monkey d garp #tsuru #shakku #hola #shanks you man you #let this be a teaser #to an update i swear #tysm for your patience #i hope it was a fun read #monkey d luffy

[baratiddyappreciator]

S/o who can sing good and like high notes like mariah carey

I won't lie chief, most of these giant buff nerds would try and find a way to use what we're going to refer to as The Note from this point on in a combat situation because that's powerful, but I digress.

Baki:

He 100% believes you when you say you're a good singer, but giving him proof is always going to be appreciated greatly. If his baby wants to sing for him, that's great and he loves it a lot, thank you kindly pookie.

He expects the singing to be good, some of the best he's ever heard, but what he isn't expecting is THE high note. Like how do you do that??? HOW?!

Of course, after hearing the high note and witnessing THE POWER of said high note, he'll immediately start wondering if it can be weaponized. Imagine if he could literally stun-lock an opponent in real life?!?

Definitely tries to get you to sing along to any songs with high notes so he can hear you hit them with ease and then brag about it to everyone he knows, even his dad.

"Oh yeah, my partner is super talented, listen to this!" Becomes a common thing to hear, he's so proud of you!

Kozue:

Silent wonder and admiration. How on earth do you get your voice to sound so angelic and in tune when you sing?! That's seriously impressive stuff! She doesn't understand any of it beyond it's hard work and impressive.

If she thought your regular singing was impressive (it is) then you hitting the high note is mind boggling (it is) and she doesn't know how you did that (sorcery, probably) but could you please do it again, because she's setting it as her notification tone.

The high note must be studied and admired. How loud can you go? Can you do wacky stuff like breaking a glass? Could you do better than an opera singer?! Probably not, but it's fun to ask and get so carried away the both of you just wind up dying of laughter on the floor.

She tries to get you to teach her how to hit a high note like that. It's impressive and she wants to know if she can get her voice like yours, though the look of disappointment in her eyes as you mention that dairy will make it harder to hit higher notes just after she's finished her iced coffee is palpable.

She's very proud when people compliment her new notification tone, and will purposefully send you a text to be answered whenever she's in a crowd so she can hear it over and over again.

Hanayama:

He'd act all unimpressed in front of his guys and just nod and give you a gruff little grunt (high praise from him, really) but behind closed doors he's practically begging you to sing him some old-timey song that he really liked as a kid.

The high note is a shock to be sure, but not an unpleasant one. He definitely didn't expect you to go so hard with your rendition of Frank Sinatra's Fly Me To The Moon, but he's glad you did, adds your own personal flare.

He thinks you're great and really skilled, it's super impressive he promises, but he can't really handle the high note all that often. On occasion, sure, but if he's gotta hear it multiple times in one day then he simply can't. He's got a limit on how much loud noises he can handle.

If you're ever wanting to look into getting a gig, however, he can 100% hook you up by calling on some old favors that he's owed by a few club owners, he's sure that they'd be more than happy to accept you on stage!

There's a silent pride in him when people talk about you, especially if you're up on stage. All those eyes on you as people talk about how skilled you are, but he's the one that gets to take you home.

Chiharu:

He's not a graceful singer, but can try. You start up, and he'll 100% join you. Sounds like a drunk old cat, but it's fine because it's fun! He greatly appreciates your skill regardless of his inability.

You hit a high note and he immediately demands you hit another. And then another, and another. He's fascinated. Sure his ears might hurt, but he adores your voice and he's going to listen to you.

He'll try to match the vibes and hit high notes with you, but he gets one voice crack and stops for weeks, can't look you in the eye. He demands you teach him how, but he's not the best at practicing. Once he gets it down enough for him to hit a relatively high note though, he absolutely will use it in a fight. He gets hit? He's gonna let out the highest damn squeak you've ever heard out of spite before he rocks his opponents shit.

He takes you out to karaoke bars often, especially if there are competitions so you can breeze through the others and enjoy the benefits of your superiority. And he's absolutely going to refer to you winning as you being superior, because in his eyes you are.

Loudly proud about you being so skilled. You start humming and he's ready to shout from the rooftops about how talented and skilled and good looking and amazing you are. As a matter of fact, he's done it at least once when he's had enough to drink.

Katsumi:

Oh he's definitely going to forget how to speak for a while, but if you're both having a fun moment he's joining in. His boys tell him he sounds like a dying echidna, but he doesn't really care, he's having fun with his baby and admiring their skill.

The high note takes everyone off-guard. That's just impressive. There's nothing more to be said other than "holy shit" and "wow" because that's the only words in their brains. The Karate boys are smart (ish) on their own, but together they have one braincell and it's completely overwhelmed by the Wow that they're all thinking.

Katsumi has no problem bragging about your skill. He doesn't stop doing it, actually, but asking him to stop is like asking him to NOT be proud that he bagged a skilled individual with the voice of a goddess, and that's basically impossible.

He's only ever hit the high note once and it's because Katou slapped his butt at full force while he was talking. Katou hasn't, and probably won't ever, let him live that down. On the plus side, he learned that he can hit the high notes like you, it's just hard.

He honestly might just get a billboard with your face on it in front of and on the Shin-Shin-Kai building so he can brag to everyone that walks past that his partner is super talented.

Jack:

A bit fuckin dense, he's probably not going to notice it's you singing until he actually physically sees you singing, in which case he'll happily just stand there and admire you while you're unaware.

The high note catches him completely off-guard, especially if you're singing in the other room and then hit it out of nowhere. That's a guaranteed way for him to come rushing in ready to either swing on someone or rush you to a hospital.

He entertains the same train of thought as Baki for a few seconds because yeah that'd be funny, and then he remembers that Gaia basically has done that before and his interest completely dies out from that point because he doesn't need a headache like that again. He's never letting the two of you be in the same room if he can help it though, just to be on the safe side.

The high note is one of the few things that wake him from a dead sleep beyond you screaming like you're being murdered. All it takes is for him to break through a door once for that fact to become clear, so there's no practicing within his earshot while he's sleeping.

He's definitely a silently proud individual. He admires the hard work and dedication you've put into it, but it's pretty rare that he brags about anything. That being said, given the chance he absolutely will sing your praises, he knows it's nice to hear.

Kosho:

He thinks it's good that you have a creative outlet that isn't dangerous to yourself or him, and he doesn't mind hearing you singing around the house while he stretches or trains.

His reaction to the high note is very similar to Jack, where he comes rushing in in a blind panic if you hit it out of nowhere, but he quickly processes it and it's something the both of you will laugh about eventually.

Oh he knows that a high note like that can be used in combat, but unless you have an interest in fighting yourself, he's not likely to ever see it in action, and even if you do it's not going to be something he wants used on himself, so please be merciful. Sometimes.

He knows that he hasn't been able to hit a high note like that since he was little, before puberty hit him like a bus, so he won't even attempt, but he'd definitely love to hear the technical part of how you make a sound like that.

He constantly humble brags whenever he gets the chance. "Oh your girlfriend is a singer? Yeah well my partner is the next Mariah Carey, get on my level." Do not put him in a room with the actual Mariah Carey, because he will tell her that you're coming after her crown.

Kureha:

Lowkey annoyed that you won't shut up but he does think your voice is pretty. Just, you know, in moderation. Just a little bit. He's trying to work baby, please just go practice in another room, where he can still hear you but it won't be as distracting.

Better hope he isn't drinking when you hit the high note because he will choke on it. The "perfect" Dr.Kureha Shinogi forgets how to human every time the high note is done in his presence, even if he's expecting it.

He knows that theoretically the high note could be used in combat, and Jack has told him about Gaia's screaming, but he shudders to think of anyone combining the volume and pitch in a combat situation, he'd break and he knows it.

If there's ever a work function or a conference that calls for live entertainment then SURPRISE SHAWTY! He's signed you up! Hope you don't get nervous in front of large crows. Oh also you only have two weeks to prepare. He's only a little sorry.

Given the chance, he loudly brags, but it's a shared brag. Why yes! You're both prodigies! It's only right that you wind up together! It's almost like the universe recognized that you both deserved someone with the same amount of skill!

Retsu:

Mystified and happy. He's flourishing, practically glowing as he listens to you. You're going to be totally unaware that he's there the first time you sing in front of him (unless you purposefully waited to show him) but either way, he's there and he's enjoying himself.

The high note catches him WAY off-guard. How did someone as sweet and soft (to him) manage to make such a big noise?! It takes him a solid minute but you'll both wind up laughing about how shocked he was.

He wouldn't dare think of using the high note as a fighting tactic, but he definitely can appreciate the shock value it caries when someone isn't expecting it. He'd definitely bring you to the arena and do a little trolling with you, just because he deserves to have some fun and you do to.

Oh he definitely tries to get you to sing along to some Mariah songs, she's talented and a genius with some real catchy ones, and if he ever gets the opportunity he's taking you to a concert, front row seats.

Highkey proud of you and not afraid to show it, but he's not interested in bragging to others about your skills, he wants to show you how great he thinks you are. He's constantly complimenting you anyways, this just gives him additional ammunition!

Doppo & Natsue:

Doppo's used to Natsue humming and singing around the house while she's doing her thing, be it chores or just going about her day, but having the both of you do it is something that brings him great joy and amusement, mostly because the both of you tend to completely stop once you hear the other and that's just hilarious to him.

The high note takes them both by surprise. Nobody's beating you on that one, Natsue's not going to try and Doppo knows damn well that he can't. That being said, he'd gladly give you a light teasing about being inspired by Mariah.

He's honestly more confident about leaving you and Natsue at home together whenever he leaves because he knows that if you need help you'll definitely be able to get the neighbors attention and stun an attacker, especially after what happened with Dorian, while Natsue just thinks it's neat and a skill that she's proud you've developed.

Both of them try and get you to sing more around the house, and if given the chance Natsue is throwing down with you on a Karaoke machine just so she can see you smile. Doppo, on the other hand, tries to recruit you for mischief. Katsumi has learned to survey his room whenever he's over in case you're hiding, waiting to pounce.

Non stop bragging on Doppo's part, but he does that anyways. His two loves are the best in the world and everyone deserves to know, especially the both of you, while Natsue is more than happy to gossip with the other moms in the area and brag about how talented you are.

Shibukawa:

He's pretty nice when it comes to your singing, even if he might give you a hard time just to get a laugh out of you, or see if he can break your composure. Bonus points if he gets you to break at the worst moment.

The high note inspires thoughts of evil in him. All those youngsters in the arena won't know what hit them the next time he gets a text or a phone call, because he's setting it up as his ringtone and he's not putting his phone on mute. You are the singular cause to every jumpscare in the arena from that point on. The others don't hate you, but hearing your voice for the first time in person definitely gets some interesting reactions.

He doesn't need to use tricks in combat, he already has some. Plenty, as a matter of fact. The high note is specifically for pranks only, thank you very much. He's going to recruit you.

He definitely takes you out to karaoke and introduces you as a beginner so that you can wipe the floor with the competition and laugh about it later over the prizes and stunned looks.

Oh he doesn't need to brag, everyone knows that he's proud of you. He doesn't even need to say anything, it's just insanely obvious. Especially with how many times he's scared the living shit out of Jack and Katsumi by playing your high notes. He's got different ones recorded too. You're his partner in crime, whether you like it or not.

#baki the grappler #baki son of ogre #grappler baki #baki dou #baki rahen #baki headcanons #baki hanma #kozue matsumoto #hanayama kaoru #chiharu shiba #katsumi orochi #jack hanma #kosho shinogi #kureha shinogi #retsu kaioh #doppo orochi #natsue orochi #shibukawa gouki

[trash-king18]

M pt. 2

warning y’all now this is gonna have a lot of parts and they’re all long, sorry. but i put more time and effort into this than i care to admit so i might as well see if it’s enjoyed by others. 

cw: 18+ minors dni, talk of injections/needles, angst, arguing, both reader and miguel have attitude for days, hints of family trauma, oral f receiving, m masturbation

4004 words

————

you had planned on staying to work overnight just to spite him but about 20 minutes into the prep work the adrenaline wore off and your eyelids started drooping. so you put the venom vials in the fridge and headed back to your apartment. 

the other reason you two had an odd connection is because unlike all the spider people; who went back to their own universes between jobs, you lived in Nueva York pretty much full time. besides the occasional vacation to explore other earths and some weekends spent with your sister and her kids, it was just you, lyla, and Miguel. 

Gwen Hobie and Pavitr always asked why you chose to stay here with “the grump”. they were good kids, and even though you weren’t a doctor they frequented your lab for “checkups.” you always told them the same thing, “better tech here,” it was easier than explaining the real reason. 

you enjoyed seeing your sister and your beloved little nephews when you could, but there wasn’t much keeping you back on your earth.

your spider man wasn’t able to protect your earth anymore, so you felt it was your personal mission to help however you could. miguel didn’t know it, but your spider man had been your brother. he ended up marrying a girl from your neighborhood who you quickly came to admire as a sister and they had two boys before.. the incident. when another spider-man showed up with a watch and the sweetest AI you’d ever met asking for your help for her boss, you jumped at the opportunity. anything to get you out of there. 

—

you hadn’t seen Miguel at all that day. from what you overheard in the food courts there was some important mission, that as per usual he divulged to no one. you asked Lyla to notify you as soon as he returned, sometimes you felt you and her were the ones really holding the multiverse together. Miguel may have done the heavy lifting, but Lyla kept him organized and you kept him from breaking everything in the building when he got mad. 

Lyla popped up on your watch at about 8:30 that night to let you know when he arrived. an inconvenience considering you were comfortably on your couch in an oversized hoodie. 

“he’s back, but I’m not sure you want to talk to him right now. 

“that usually means i definitely have to “talk” to him. i’ll head over with his injection now. Is he at HQ? 

“uhm… I’m not- 

“he’s either on a mission, or in his office.. brooding. he’s really quite predictable. 

“he’s not at HQ he went straight home this time. 

Oh great, now you’ll have to go over to his apartment 

“ugh of course he did” 

“maybe it’d be best if you just wait until tomorrow morning.” 

“no no he needs an infusion, it’s been almost two  weeks now and his symptoms are already worse than we’ve seen in a while.” 

“just be careful, you know how he gets.” 

“believe me Lyla I know, but I specialize in calming down the infamous grump, literally it’s what you hired me for” 

“let me know how it goes?” 

“of course” 

you pull on your jordan’s and head up to the lab quickly to grab his treatment before heading to his apartment. you’d never been there, you didn’t even know where it was, but Lyla sent you the address. you were expecting a lifeless bachelor pad downtown so you were confused when you found yourself outside the door of a top floor penthouse suite. you knew he had a house… somewhere from a long time ago but you weren’t surprised he didn’t want to live there. besides this was much closer. 

you take a deep breath fully expecting him to not even answer or slam the door in your face but you knock anyway. 

you wait, and of course there’s so answer, you start to turn around to leave when you hear the lock click. 

when he opens the door you do not expect what comes next. the self serious super hero, who you’ve never seen out of his suit, is wearing loose gray sweats a skin tight black tee and his hair is wet and slicked back clearly fresh from the shower. you swallow hard. 

the confusion on his face quickly turns to anger. 

“what the hell are you doing here?”

“Lyla uhm.. sent me the address. you were gone all day so I didn’t get a chance to do you your treatment today.” 

he huffs as he shakes his head causing some of his hair to fall into his face

“fine just give it to me I’ll do it” 

“not a chance, i don’t trust that you actually will 

he stands, taking up the whole doorway. 

“nice hoodie” 

you had completely forgotten you were still wearing your spider-man hoodie. It was some corny spider merch you had snagged from a gift shop right before moving to this earth. It was stupid but it reminded you of your brother and you always wore it when you were upset. Suddenly self conscious you felt even smaller than normal standing in front of him. 

“oh I uh-“ 

He smiles evilly at your apparent embarrassment, you were usually so put together and would never let him make fun of you. So he decided to relish in this moment. 

“you should wear that to work, then you can be just like the rest of us” 

you scowl at him

“will you just let me do this so I can go home” 

he stops smiling 

“we’ll do it tomorrow” 

he starts to close the door in your face but you’re tired, you’ve had a long week and most importantly you know he can’t go much longer without the infusion before something bad happens. 

so before he can close it you push your way past him ducking under his arm into his apartment. his guard is either down or he was too surprised youd even dare to do so because it would’ve been too easy to stop you if he wanted to. 

“no, no, he tenido suficiente de ti, estamos haciendo esto ahora.”

no no i’m tired of you we’re doing this now

“H- Hey! you can’t just—“

you pause in shock as you look around and see a tediously organized apartment filled with plants, that smelled of home cooked meals, and surprisingly zero holes punched in the walls. 

he grabs your arm to start pulling you out but you move before he can. no spidey sense meant you actually could catch him by surprise if you were quick enough. 

“ay carajo o’hará this place is nice i’m shocked. are you making tamales? i wouldn’t have taken you for a chef.”

he just stares at you incredulously and watches you walk over and pick one up and start eating

“and a good cook too, your mother would be proud” 

“you’re.. in my apartment” 

“yes? clearly. sit down let’s get this over with” 

“so you barge into my apartment uninvited and now you’re telling me what to do?” 

“i mean really, you’re just stating the obvious, now can you please hurry up? i’m not putting up with your nonsense again today.” 

you put the case on the counter and take the IV out and start getting it ready. you can tell he doesn’t like this at all and you’re not necessarily a fan either. it’s weird seeing him like this… human, almost. 

“sit.” 

finally he gives in, figures the sooner it’s done the sooner he can get you out of his apartment. unfortunately you’re not in the lab which means you have to set up a portable pole but getting it high enough for him even when he’s sitting is difficult. 

“can you.. uhm” 

“seriously? ay dios mío” 

he adjusts the height and then hangs the bag before sitting back down. you pull your gloves on before you start trying to find the vain. he leans back against the counter, your eyes dart up every so often as you insert the needle and start the drip. He watches you work, fascinated by how you manage to boss him around. 

once the infusion starts it usually takes at least an hour or two to finish, but in no world do you want to wait in Miguel’s apartment with him for hours. 

you clear your throat uncomfortably and start to head for the door 

“I trust you can handle the rest, do NOT take it out until it’s done o’hara i’m serious” 

he only grunts in response. you turn before you open the door he’s leaning over the counter rubbing his temple. you’re about to leave, you know you should. you curse yourself internally for what you’re about to do. 

“o’hara?”

“hmm?” he doesn’t open his eyes 

“are you ok?” 

he opens his eyes and looks at you caught off guard by the genuine concern in your voice. 

“estoy bien” 

im fine

“ok” you start to open the door but stop yourself again “it’s just— you haven’t gone this long without  a treatment and last night..” 

you trail off and he peers at you with that animal curiosity like he’s scanning every inch of your body for any movement, any sign of weakness

“last night you just seemed a little uh” 

“a little ~what~” 

you don’t feel like pushing the subject with him and you’re tired.

“nothing, forget i asked” 

his eyes are closed again but he sighs and asks suddenly ,

“tienes hambre?”

are you hungry 

“are you ~inviting~ me to eat.. in your apartment?” 

he shoots you a look that says not to push your luck, but all he says is “plates are left of the sink.” before closing his eyes again. you can’t lie the first one you had was good, you wouldn’t mind another. you notice that he has the ingredients out for fresh guacamole including a molcajete. he doesnt seem much in the mood for cooking so you start chopping up the ingredients yourself. 

“don’t do that” 

“why you’re clearly not in any shape to be cooking” 

“i made the tamales just fine didn’t i?” 

“whatever” 

“seriously don’t mess with my recipe” 

“relax my mamá taught me how to make the best guacamole in brooklyn heights” 

he gets up, “well my abuelitas recipe was the best in all of mexico, so i think i’ll do the cooking” 

“are you disrespecting my mamas cooking?” 

“oh no no no, no empieces, you started this” 

don’t start

he grabs you essentially picking you up and moves you over. you’d never seen him like this, not necessarily no guard but more relaxed, less of a grump just tired and overworked. he was only a few years older than you but you always forgot. 

he finished chopping and starts putting it together. his knife skills are impressive. 

“do you do this every night” 

“ahh no, much to busy for that but i try to do it as often as i can” 

“can’t blame you, must be better than the food court at HQ” 

“don’t tell me that’s all you eat” 

“god no, but between working with Lyla, your treatments, and my family it can get difficult to find time for myself.”

he’s quite for a moment “family?” 

“oh uhm yeah i uh try to see my sister in law and her kids as often as possible, she’s raising them on her own now so I help out when i can” 

“their father? your brother?” 

now it was your turn to be quiet. you don’t know why you started talking about it, you never do, even with your sister. this was your first time even bringing it up to someone else in years. you didn’t realize your eyes were wet. when you don’t answer he turns. 

he puts the knife down when he notices you’re upset 

“sorry i didn’t mean to-“ 

“no it’s fine, i uh- i should go, thanks for the food” 

“y/n” 

“make sure you leave that in, i’ll see you at work tomorrow” 

“y/n” he shoots a web onto the door handle before you can open it

he walks over to you, not as stealthy as normal with the iv pole dragging behind him

“o’hara i’m not in the mood for this right now”

he reaches past you to lock the door behind you. 

“i’m serious”

“you’re upset.”

“hadn’t noticed.”

“ya know when i’m trying to be nice it would help greatly if you didn’t have to have such an attitude.” 

you look at him unimpressed

“im latina, what do you want” 

“the truth”

“about what?”

“why you’ve been extra grouchy this week”

“i am not-“

“yes. you are”

“i don’t owe you any explanation.”

he does that things were he growls just slightly except from him it actually does sound more like a growl. you two have been stepping closer and closer as the argument gets more heated. his accent comes out even more when he’s angry 

“ay coño must you be so infuriating all the fucking time”

“excuse me?”

you’re face to face now… well more face to chest. 

“you heard me cariño”

honey

“don’t call me that”

“why.. would you prefer bonita, princesa” 

he’s teasing you, pressing your buttons, but it was pissing you off extra right now

you shove him back, or at least try 

knock it off miguel 

there it was. they way you said his name. he catches your hand and holds it in place on his chest 

“say it again”

“what?”

“my name, dilo otra vez”

say it again.

his grip on your wrist is firm, he towers over you. 

“what is wrong with you”

his voice is low now, it comes out coated in venom and something else 

“don’t make me repeat myself again cariño”

he leans down into you his hand hovers over your hip, waiting. you know this behavior is most likely because of him going so long without treatment. and even though he’s bigger and stronger you can’t help feel like you’re taking advantage of him. 

“miguel”

after hearing his name he slides his hand onto you and starts pulling you in

“no. stop this isn’t you i can’t let you do this.”

but he doesn’t let go he just dips his head down toward your ear, his breathing is heavy and he’s hot, physically more so than usual. 

“do you want me to(stop)”

you hesitate, but he’s so close and you feel like he’s been teasing you since last night pulling you in then pulling away. 

“yes.”

“you’re lying.”

“..yes.” 

his control is slipping he can feel it, even with the iv slowly working its way through his blood. but you’re here in front of him and you can’t even tell him you don’t want it. 

he pulls away again and right before you can tell him off you realize why. 

he’s carefully pulling the needle from his arm. 

“o’hara no.”

but he takes it out anyway and then turns back to you as the needle drops to the ground. he walks you back into the door and places his hand on your hip again as the other works it’s way to your face. 

“Miguel you need th-“

he shushes you. every time you say his name like that, so soft and quiet, it goes straight down to his core. he tries to ignore it usually, the way that it ignites the urge to hear you whine and moan as you say it. the injections make it easier, so did convincing himself that he only felt that way because of the spider dna. but the human in him wanted you just as much if not more. 

his thumb drags gently over your bottom lip. his scarlet eyes drag over you slowly. 

he feels every twitch and pulse as your body responds to him. 

neither of you speak as he leans in. you pray despite yourself he doesn’t pull away this time. his lips hover over yours for a moment before he gently tugs your lips with his teeth. his fangs don’t cut you but you can feel them pressing into your skin. 

you’re impatient, you’ve done this dance twice now. so you lean in to kiss him but he doesn’t let you. he wants to take his time. for both your sakes. 

he brushes your lips again with his torturing your skin with light touches. his hand holds your face to his while the other keeps you pressed up against him. 

and finally 

finally he kisses you. it’s gentle. he breathes you in as he does it knowing that he won’t be able to remain restrained much longer. 

he pulls back a half an inch your eyes both still closed just breathing in sync before he moves back in capturing your lips in another kiss. this one starts gentle but slowly he increased the pressure. trying to get closer to you somehow. you kiss back, your tongue darting out slightly to feel his fangs. a risky move but you couldn’t help it, although clearly it affects him because as you do he reaches around you and effortlessly picks you up caging you against him as your legs wrap around his waist. 

his kisses start to grow more rushed, his hands grab for flesh where he holds you. he walks you to the counter like you weigh nothing and sets you down keeping himself between your legs. you feel him begin to strain against his sweatpants. you reach down and rub against it with your palm making him hiss. his breathing grows ragged. 

when he speaks his voice is husky 

“ay fuck”

he drops his head into your shoulder but his claws start to dig into the counter top. you have no idea how much this affects him, and he doesn’t want to hurt you so he holds back but you’re making that increasingly hard. 

he grabs your hands and places them both on his shoulders and tries to catch his breath while he gently sucks the flesh on your neck and below your ear, but he doesn’t leave a mark. his hands move to hold your waist under the sweatshirt and his warm hands on your skin feel fantastic 

“Migue.. 

(fuck)

Miguel”

(fuck)

he answers between kisses 

“qué es cariño”

what is it honey

“stop holding back”

“no puedo, i won’t risk it”

i can’t 

“por qué”

why

“i could hurt you”

“you won’t” 

you can feel how badly he wants to let go and you’re determined to get him to. you lean back on the counter pulling him with you. he pulls against you but you hold him tightly and he can’t resist you. you start to pull your sweatshirt up slightly hoping he’ll get the message. he pulls up to kiss you again clearly struggling with the decision for a second but ultimately his lust wins out. he pushes it up further kissing down your stomach. you feel his fangs pushing against his lips but he does his best to keep them from cutting you. your hands still rest on his shoulders as he works his way down. but the closer he gets the harder it is for him to control himself. he looks up at you with heavily lidded eyes as he reaches the band of your shorts. you just nod. 

he takes a deep breath trying to steel his nerves but he knows if he continues there’s no way back. but he wants it he wants you consequences be damned. 

his claws rake against your skin gently as he begins to pull them off causing you to shiver and your back to arch into his touch. it just eggs him on. 

he stares at your open legs in awe before pressing his nose to you. you wait for him to start but he just grabs your hips pressing you deeper into him. he holds you there like a fiend breathing you in and he finally looks up at you and his eyes are different now. there’s a different depth to the hunger within them. he’s never looked more serious. he’s drunk on you and he knows you know it. he lowers his head again swipes all the way from your folds to the bud collecting all the slick and swirling it around before moving back down. his tongue pushes in trying to get as much of you as possible. his bare fangs press into your skin and the feeling sends waves of adrenaline through you. his hands grip you harder nails digging into your skin as your hand tangled into his damp hair. your breath came out in ragged moans and soft curses as he pressed his nose to your clit. he mumbled muffled praises into your skin that you couldn’t understand. he worked you up to the edge multiple times before pulling back just to hear you whine for him. 

now your legs were trembling and you were praying for relief. his eyes were blood red and full of greed. 

“ruegame”

beg me

“miguel miguel please” 

“oh cariño, no te preocupes i’ll take care of it” 

your nails dig into his shoulders as he slowly and torturously works you to finish. he doesn’t pull back when he’s done either he stays and relishes in the mess he’s made. he eats until he’s full and then presses a nice red mark into your inner thigh with his fangs for good measure. he stands and pulls you up so you’re sitting again. your breathing is both quick and ragged. you looked down and noticed that he must have been using his other hand to relieve himself. 

a shame 

when your breathing slows you realize hes leaning into you with his arms on either side. but something seems off,

“miguel..”

his eyes are closed and he seems to be swaying slightly

“miguel hey look at me”

he blinks hard trying to hold his balance before slumping into you

“shit o’hará don’t do this to me now”

you push him up and rush to pull both your clothes back into place before hastily ushering him to couch. he practically collapses. 

you run to grab the iv and a clean needle and bring it over to him. he doesn’t open his eyes or respond when you place it in. you’d seen this before, when he’d missed infusion treatments for too long and then overextended himself. he’d be fine but it definitely wasn’t ideal. 

mostly he just needed to sleep it off, so that’s what you let him do. it was almost 11 now, he was out cold. you couldn’t move him to bed and you were just waiting for the drip to finish. so there was nothing left for you to do unless you wanted to spend the night on his living room chair.

so you left him a note on the coffee table. 

My lab, first thing tomorrow. I need to do a physical and run a blood test to make sure the infusion wasn’t messed up. 

you weren’t sure if you should write anything else so you decided to leave it short and simple and figured you could talk about everything tomorrow. 

when you got to work Lyla popped up next to you. 

“so? How’d last night go?” 

Huh?… oh uhm fine yeah he was being… difficult as always so I’m gonna do a quick check up. can you make sure he comes to my lab as soon as he gets here. 

“oh.. he’s not gonna be in for a while he left for a solo mission early this morning.”

“ugh of course he did. well do you know when he’ll be back. 

“not sure sweets, he went dark but i’ll let you know as soon as i get in touch with him ok?”

“yeah yeah that’d be great”

“you sure everything’s alright hon?” 

“yeah lyla i’m good thanks, i’m gonna get to work.” 

#miguel ohara #atsv miguel #miguel o’hara x you #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel x y/n #miguel x reader #across the spiderverse #spiderman 2099 #miguel o'hara #miguel spiderman #spider man 2099 #2099 #miguel o’hara smut #miguel o’hara headcanon #miguel o’hara x y/n #miguel o’hara fluff #atsv #miguel o’hara fanfiction #spiderman atsv #atsv x reader

[goddessofmischief]

      WHITE VEIL OCCASION - BUGGY X READER

A/N: This is part of this series, which requests are open for! These fics are all one-shots, so they can be read separately. Also, I highly recommend listening to the song linked in the title while you read.

"I need your help," you told Buggy, standing outside of his cabin door during an afternoon in the summertime.

"Okay," said Buggy immediately, then, a moment later - "Did you ask Shanks?"

You shake your head. Whatever it is, whatever you wanted, Buggy is now in.

"No," you said. "...I didn't think he would understand."

Now Buggy is definitely in.

...

"Really?" Buggy asked skeptically, adjusting to find comfort on the satin chair he sat in. "Why am I the guy for this?"

"Because I don't have any other friends," you said, carrying armfuls of wedding dresses back to the dressing room where he sat.

"You have Shanks."

"He's different."

"Why is he different?"

"You're vainer than he is," you said, admiring yourself in the mirror.

"Please, that pretty boy? Are you kidding me?"

"You know colors, fabrics. Face it, Buggy, you're the resident fashion expert. And don't you wanna help me?"

Damn it, he did.

"Fine," he said, waving his hand. "Show me the first."

You pushed the curtain back, revealing yourself in a puffy pink dress. You gave a little twirl. Buggy burst out laughing.

"Oh, that's terrible. I think you should get that one."

You turned red, closing the curtain again. Buggy groaned.

"Okay, I'm sorry, that was a little mean-"

"A little?"

"A lot - show me the next one, I promise I'll be nice."

Some two-hundred dresses later, you tried on a smaller one - short, pure white.

"It's not bad," said Buggy, not wanting to admit to you or himself that it was the best you'd ever looked. "It's not terrible at all."

"You think so?" you said. "But - I can't twirl in it."

"Oh, right. Not that one, then."

"What would Mihawk want, you think?"

"Geez, I dunno. Black?"

"Black," you repeated, contemplatively. "I don't think I want black."

Buggy was suddenly reminded of the pink dress from earlier, and how happy you'd looked in it. Sure, it wasn't precisely to his taste, but that didn't matter. The color was still ghastly, though. Damn it - maybe he did know as much about fashion as you'd suggested.

"Say, doll - did they have that puffy one in another color?"

"Yeah," you said, thoughtfully. "White."

...

"Thanks for coming with me today," you mumbled, legs swinging off the side of the cliff. You and Buggy liked to sit there sometimes, whenever you were docked at this particular island, it was 'your spot.' It was the place you two talked about things that Shanks, Mihawk, Rayleigh and Roger couldn't understand (which was a lot.)

"It wasn't as bad as I thought, I guess," Buggy said, refusing to admit to you that it had been actually kind of fun. "But, uh - you seem kinda sad, doll. If I'm not - if I'm not overstepping."

"You're not," you assured him, with a sad smile. "You're not. I'm just... scared."

"What do you have to be scared of? I mean, c'mon, you're engaged to the best swordsman in the East Blue, you live with the king of the pirates, and then there's Shanks, who's no slouch, and then there's, um, me. You got me."

"It's not that kind of fear."

Buggy thought he might understand what you were saying. Maybe. He'd secretly suspected that there had been doubt in you for some time, but had thought maybe he was unable to separate what was really going on with you from what he wished were the case. He wanted you to doubt. He wanted you to walk away from Mihawk.

"...I don't want things to change."

Ah, so that's what it was.

"Neither do I. I mean, it sure would be great if we could just live together and sail together forever, huh? But that's not really how it works. People grow up. People... die," Buggy said, thinking about Roger with a pang. He knew he didn't have long. There was little doubt in his mind that some time after your wedding, Roger would allow himself to succumb to his illness, and Shanks would take everything that was left, and Buggy would be alone.

Your eyes welled up with tears, and you rested your head on Buggy's shoulder, staring out at the waves. You threaded your fingers through his gloved ones, as if you wanted something physical to tether you to the moment.

"I don't want to lose you, Bug," you whispered.

"You're not gonna lose me. We'll still be best friends, same as ever. I'll come visit you all the time. And if Mihawk ever gives you trouble - well, I'll just kill him."

You laughed.

"Come on, stop crying, okay? I hate it when you cry."

"Okay."

"Okay," said Buggy, almost mimicking your exact soft voice. He squeezed your hand. You raised your face up to fix your gaze on him, as if an essential thought had only just occurred to you.

"Swear we'll always be best friends, Buggy."

Buggy laughed. You stared at him, bottom lip trembling.

"Oh, you're serious?"

"Buggy," you scolded.

"I mean, I'd like to - I really would - but I really can't promise such a thing-"

"Swear to me," you repeated. "Swear to me."

Buggy searched your eyes - you were dead serious.

You couldn't lose him. You refused to do that. You could sacrifice everything else but you refused to lose Buggy.

"Okay," he agreed, hoarsely. "Okay."

You nodded, satisfied, and tucked your head into his shoulder again.

...He needed to stop this wedding.

taglist: @sawendel @twinklesnake @literaturewithliz @sordidmusings @foggyturtleknightangel @toertchen @96jnie @lunanight1021

#buggy #buggy x reader #it was rare i was there #buggy the clown #opla #opla buggy

[isaacswhy]

boy next door

isaacwhy x gn!reader (sfw) summary: you grew up admiring the boy next door, isaac. on the night of your graduation from high school, you confess your feelings. requested?: no

It started when you were six. You were living place-to-place for a while, given that your dad was an a military man, but he finally got a permanent position in Pennsylvania. It wasn't the best place to live, but you were in a good neighborhood, and you were six. Your parents had bought a beautiful house with two floors, and you personally picked the room on the top floor with a window that peered pretty much entirely into the house next to you. Little did you know, the boy in the room across the fence would change your life.

You met the next day when you enrolled in first grade and your teacher introduced you to the class. She was nice enough to not make you talk about yourself in front of everybody and assigned you to sit next to one of her nicest kids in the class, Isaac. You were pretty nervous when you walked over and sat down next to him, but you quickly learned he was as friendly as your teacher said and more.

That was the start of the friendship between you and Isaac. You began hanging out after school almost every day, and his parents became like your own, and yours to him. As you grew up, the two of you would tackle everything life threw at you. Everything that scared you was shared and you comforted each other through the hard things. Even in the weird times that came with puberty, there were no secrets between you and Isaac. Until there were.

It was around fourteen when you caught onto what you were feeling. Isaac had begun maturing and he was getting tall, and every time you were around him you noticed your heart started to beat faster than normal and your stomach turned constantly. The intense reactions you were having when around him subsided somewhat with time, but they never went away. It took a while, but you figured it out: you had a crush on Isaac.

It freaked you out, to say the least. You'd known each other for eight years and you were terrified at the prospect of making things complicated. You'd sit at your bedroom window and catch yourself staring at the window across from you at the boy that you had grown up with. His bright smile and his caring outlook on life just made you like him more, but you knew deep down you couldn't ever get yourself to say anything to him.

Four years later, you were still head over heels for him. It was a long four years, watching him get in and out of relationships with people you were far too jealous of. He excelled in his classes and you saw how promising his future looked. On top of your fear of confessing, the fear of Isaac leaving you behind for a good life worried you even more. With each passing semester of school, your anxieties were boiling up further and further.

Then, graduation came. You walked the stage alongside Isaac. You briefly mingled with families, but the two of you decided to do an old tradition of climbing to the roof and watching the stars at the end of the school year. So, there you sat. He chattered away about how he was so excited to go off to college and making his life into something he was proud of. You loved to see him talk, but you just couldn't get everything off of your conscious long enough to listen.

"Isaac."

He turned to you, letting out a light laugh. "Oh, sorry. I was really going on there."

"No, it's not that. No worries." You looked down at the roofing below you, "I've just got a lot on my mind."

"Oh, anything you want to share?"

"Yes, but-" You sighed, "It's hard to explain, and it's fucking scary."

"Listen, I'm here for you, always." Isaac reached over and put a hand on your shoulder, rubbing it lightly. "Tell me when you're ready."

"First thing's first, I'm so scared. Scared that even if we're at college together, you're going to forget about me. Studies might keep you too much, and I'll just get in the way. Once college's over, you'll want to move away and get rich, no time for me."

Isaac laughed. "Seriously? Y/N, you know damn well I'd never let you out of my sight long enough to leave the city. If I have any say in it, the two of us will die in a joint grave."

Your heart fluttered and tears pricked at your eyes. "God, Isaac.."

"Oh shit, I'm sorry. Did I overstep? That was probably too much, listen-"

"I'm in love with you, Isaac."

As soon as the words left your mouth, the silence that hung in the air and a block of regret dropped in your stomach. You looked over to Isaac, who looked utterly shocked. He didn't say anything for a while, and the two of you sat staring at the tiles below you.

"Come on, Isaac. Say something. Please." Your voice quivered, trying your best not to cry.

Isaac ran a hand through his hair. "I'm just.. surprised. Definitely not what I expected, you know?"

"I get it. I've just been holding that in for fucking ages, I couldn't hide it from you anymore. I'm really sorry if this ruins things."

"No, it doesn't."

You paused. "What do you mean?"

"I think.. I love you too."

You looked over to Isaac, who now had the kindest smile on his face you've ever seen. Your heart melted in that moment, relief flushing through you like a tidal wave.

"Holy shit."

Isaac scooted closer to you and you leaned in, pulling him into a soft kiss. Your lips touched and you thought that you could die happy in that moment. It wasn't very long, but you pulled away and saw the man you loved staring back at you with a look you'd never seen before.

"I've liked you for a while now, I think. I was too scared to say anything, and life got hectic, so I rolled with it. I thought it would take my mind off the worry that I'd scare you off and you wouldn't want to be my roommate in college anymore." Isaac confided.

"No, I get it. I thought if I told you, you'd get all awkward and closed off. But I couldn't hold it in me anymore."

Your hands locked and you put your head on his shoulder, and his head leaned on yours.

"I love you, Isaac."

"I love you, too."

#isaacwhy #isaacwhy x reader #the group chat #the group x reader #tgc #tgc x reader #yumi #softwilly #grunk #bigt #larrycroft #the group #x reader

[thedepthsoffandomminds]

The guest PT 13

Masterlist

Jack Dawkins x fem reader.

"Did you mean to walk into a cupboard?" Jack asked having shit the door behind them

Belle looked back at him.

" Obviously not!" She says.

" Gosh. You are incredibly irritating." Jack stepped up to her.

"So are you. 'Cause you won't listen to anyone else's point of view. All I'm saying is it is not clear-cut." Belle fought.

"Look, you either want to be a doctor, who cares for everybody, no matter how spotty their soul may be, or you are "milady," who gives six of the best to the peasants when we get uppity."

" Uppity? I know you had your past indiscretions, but these were bushrangers who killed three men, one a father." Belle almost shouted.

"Some people need to thieve in order to eat."

" And that can lead to death, too." Belle scoffed.

" Have you ever seen anybody dead on the streets from hunger? No! Have you ever paid for anything you've eaten? Or worn, or lived in?"

She thought for a moment.

"That's a false syllogism." Belle grumbled and rushed for the door.

" Whatever that is, it is not.If you can't see what is happening here, Belle, then you and I have big problems. This puts a wall between us." Jack rounded her stopping her from opening the door

" You climbed it fine when you kissed me in the surgery."

"That. That was..."

"For y/n?" Belle whispers.

"she says you and I should..." Jack furrows his brows in thought.

"She says the same to me, but I-"

"Me either." They agree.

"You love her?" Belle asks. Jack swallows down the emotions that threaten to spill over. His eyes searched hers.

"So do you." He whispers. Belle casts her eyes down, "So does Sneed."

"Where is she?" Belle asks.

"I haven't seen her in a while." He admits. They nod to each other and leave the cupboard, both set on finding you. Belle darts off in one direction as Jack starts in the other. A hand grabs his shoulder pulling him back.

"Gaines has got Red."

*_*_*_*

You weren't sure why you had come up to Jack's room. You had needed a moment to gather your thoughts. Or maybe you needed to breathe. Was there a reason? Your feet had moved you without much thought from your mind. Looking around yourself it felt different, like recalling it from a dream.

A dream.

The dreams.

Was this a dream?

Was your body sitting on the side of the road somewhere?

Alone.

You're alone now.

Maybe you could just lie down.

Just for a moment.

*_*_*_*

Jack threw his coat onto the end of the bed, wraps open his closet and begins to unbutton his waistcoat and shirt. The opens once more letting Fagin inside.

"Oh, good, the day improves." Jack quips.

"Hurtful." Fagin crossed the room sitting down in a wooden chair. His eyes briefly graze over your sleeping form, but not enough to acknowledge you therem, "Listen, that booze robbery of ours."

" Yes. The one I told you not to do." Jack asked.

" Wise insight on your part, but it appears Flashbang's still in a crate." Fagin answered

"Get him out." Jack laughed.

"Thank you, admirable solution. The thing is, Flashy's hid in a crate of top-shelf cognac, which the kitchen lad said is still in the Governor's study." Fagin explained.

"I don't have time. Y/n is missing and Red's having a baby. I'm trying to keep her alive." Both men look to the bed for a moment as if their minds knew something more than they did.

"What do you wanna do that for? Save the kid. It's not their fault. I'll take it under me wing. But she has been a blight on every single job we've ever done and she can't meddle if she's dead." Fagin grumbled.

" She's Tim's promise. She's carrying his child." Jack said.

The once more opened, "Jack? Baby's coming feet first and she's too far gone to turn it." Hetty states.

"She'll need a caesarean. And she'll die if we do that." Jack sighs.

"She might not if you did it." Hetty says hopefully.

"She won't let me touch her." Jack huffs.

"What about Princess Whatserface? If you talked her through, and I assisted?" Hetty suggested.

"She's not trained." Jack reminds her.

"What about y/n?" Hetty says pointing her hand towards you. The two men turn to the bed for the first time actually seeing you in the bed.

"was she always there?" Fagin asked. Jack couldn't be sure.

" No, hold up. Old Cheekybones is a very good notion. I'm starting to see there is a certain symmetry to our objectives here."

" Belle?"

"Booze."

" Flashbang?"

" Flashbang."

"Hetty can you look after y/n? Come on, you sack of bones!"

Hetty watched the two men leave before coming over to you, shaking your shoulder lightly until you woke.

"I visited my mother this morning. She gave me my uncle's journal. I'm worried for you." She says. You sit up

"What does it say?" You ask.

Hetty sighs.

"After the dreams started Lulu didn't have long. She started drifting even when she was awake. Like her body was between worlds. My uncle said there were times he knew she was with him but he couldn't see her or hear her..other times he could hear her but not see her." She paused for a moment looking to the door. " just now, Fagin and Jack were in here and they couldn't see you until I pointed you out."

You let out a shaky breath.

"My uncle wrote that Lulu would talk about a tether, needing something that would tie her to this world over all the others. A real connection to it." She reached out for your hand, "if you want to stay here then we can find one for you. A real tether."

"Thank you Hetty. I'd be lost if it wasn't for you." You say pulling her into a hug.

Downstairs in the main part of the hospital Red was chained to a bed her baby's life at risk.

"Do you know anything about childbirth?" Hetty asked.

"I'm not a midwife, but I know the fundamentals." You reply.

"okay that's better than none at all." Hetty grabs your hand and drags you down the stairs.

@fandomfan-102 @deanstolemydragon @mydeputyghostwagon

[silverwhittlingknife]

Has Tim ever put Dick on a pedestal?

100% yes! This is basically Tim's backstory IMO. Prior to meeting Dick in Lonely Place of Dying, Tim's a kid who's got a distant, idealized, made-for-TV vision of Dick and Bruce - mostly Dick - and he sets out on a quest based entirely around that misperception.

Aaaand then he immediately crashes headfirst into reality, because the Dick Grayson and Bruce Wayne he remembers from his childhood memories and daydreams are like this:

But it turns out that the actual real-life human people are a bit more, uh, cranky than Tim's glossy vision - things are tense and neither of them are super-happy to meet Tim:

And Tim has to rethink a bunch of his mistaken deductions as it slowly dawns on him that - far from being a plucky team - Dick and Bruce are actually not getting along at all:

And so Tim has to realize his whole plan of "Dick has to be Robin again!!! That will fix everything!!! :)))))" was actually wrong, and based on a misunderstanding of Bruce and Dick's relationship. And having realized he was wrong, he immediately sets about trying to figure out what he’s failed to understand in the most intrusive way possible—by asking lots of nosy questions!

Actually-meeting-Dick is basically the end of Tim’s super-idealized vision of Dick. It's not a vision that can survive contact with an actual human being who's snapping at you. And kid!Tim is (I love him but) extremely pushy and annoying, and Dick's a prickly young adult who is not above getting annoyed, which means Dick snaps at him pretty regularly.

But Tim does continue to admire him.

So for their various interactions after Lonely Place of Dying, IMO "does Tim have Dick on a pedestal" is kind of a judgment call based on your assessment of Dick's relative strengths/virtues. What's unambiguous: Tim has a consistently higher opinion of Dick than Dick does of Dick, and they argue about it a lot.

I had way too many thoughts about this, so below the cut:

Comics where Dick and Tim have conversations along the lines of Dick: "I suck and I'm failing at everything." Tim: "That's not true!! Actually you're great and you're succeeding at the thing you think you're failing at!!"

So who's right - Dick or Tim?

Dick and Tim's high opinions/expectations of each other: the plusses and minuses

Comic examples

Here are a couple different variations on Tim thinking that Dick is great (often when Dick's less sure):

in Showcase, Tim thinks that Dick’s a way better teammate than Azrael, even as Dick’s thinking himself as a failure who let the Titans down; 

in Prodigal, Dick tells Tim a story about confronting Two-Face which to Dick symbolizes a moment of great failure and which Tim insists was a no-win situation where Dick did the best he could;

also in Prodigal, Dick’s despairing over how badly he thinks their encounter with Killer Croc went and meanwhile Tim thinks it went fine (after all, Dick listened to him and called an ambulance instead of beating up Croc!), and Tim tells Dick to lighten up and Dick talks about how he’s a failure; 

in Nightwing 6, Dick thinks he’s doing badly in Blüdhaven and he’s self-conscious about it and paranoid about what Tim might tell Bruce, and Tim insists that the fact that Dick’s being targeted means he’s succeeding and getting close instead of failing, and Dick retorts that this won’t be comforting if he winds up dead because getting close just isn’t good enough; 

also in Nightwing 6, Tim thinks Dick was a better Robin than Tim is, and Dick thinks he wasn’t that great and that Tim’s better;

post-Last Laugh, Tim’s insistent that Dick's being too hard on himself about attacking the Joker whereas Dick's really haunted by the experience and confides that it feels like he's discovered a terrible dark side of himself;

way later in Nightwing 110, Tim’s seeking Dick out and Dick’s trying to avoid him because he thinks he’s a bad person who’d be bad for Tim;

in BW: Murderer, Tim doesn’t trust Bruce absolutely, but in Red Robin, he does trust Dick absolutely (or at least, more than Tim trusts himself);

etc. etc. etc.

Who's right: Dick or Tim?

So, is Tim being too easy on Dick and looking at him with rose-colored glasses, and Dick’s harsher view of himself is the correct one; or is Dick a perfectionist who’s being too hard on himself, and Tim’s the one who’s actually seeing Dick’s strengths more clearly?  

I don’t think the comics really commit one way or another! These are moments of multiple-perspectives, where we notice that Tim has one attitude and Dick has another attitude and that tells us things about the characters, not moments that are meant to resolve to a simplistic “one person is Right and one person is Wrong.”  I think often you could argue that they're both right? So, like, if you wanted to take the approach of, "Tim's idolizing him but he's not actually as great as Tim thinks," I don't think the comics precisely contradict that interpretation.

... THAT SAID, look, I am a Dick Grayson fan at heart, and I tend to lean toward “Dick’s being too hard on himself.” 

Tim’s not oblivious to Dick’s flaws—he immediately figures out, for example, that Dick’s gonna attack the Joker, and rushes off to stop him; he just isn’t as judgmental about this moment as Dick is, and he doesn’t think it makes Dick an awful person forever.  The point is (Tim says later, practical-minded) that it was made right, and Dick shouldn’t beat himself up about it.  In Prodigal, Tim’s not unaware that their fight with Croc went badly; he’s just focused on how Dick’s morals and teamwork-centric attitude feel right to him in a way that Azrael’s didn’t, and look, Tim didn’t get shot even though he got shot at, and isn’t that the important thing?  Tim gets caught in the same ambush that Dick does in Nightwing 6; he just takes the glass-half-full attitude toward it while Dick takes the glass-half-empty attitude.  And so on.

Tim admires Dick, looks up to him, trusts him, interprets his flaws generously, and doesn’t think he’s a failure. And... this isn't quite in the comics, but it doesn't contradict them: I like to imagine Dick feeling like he's on a pedestal, and feeling kinda uncomfortable with Tim's admiration when he's forced to realize it exists, and feeling like he doesn't deserve it, and sometimes subconsciously braced for the other shoe to drop, convinced that Tim can't possibly really think this forever, that he's deluded somehow, and that eventually Tim will realize who Dick really is and get disillusioned and leave.

And I tend to think of Dick having this problem a bit with everyone in his life who thinks highly of him, but especially with Tim, because he doesn't feel like Tim's ever needed him or that he's done anything worth Tim's admiration. I feel like Dick - despite some insecurities - does know his own worth as a team leader, and he knows he was a good partner to Bruce, and he understands when he's helping people who are clearly floundering, like Damian and Rose. But all he's ever done for Tim is...hang out, and be nice. And he doesn't think Tim ever needed fixing or saving, and he vastly underestimates both the value of his own friendship in general and how much it's meant to Tim in particular. Not all the time, because later in their relationship when they've known each other for years I do think Dick does feel a bit more secure in that friendship and entitled to make demands based on it (and vice versa, for Tim). But I do imagine Dick periodically feeling like Tim lets him off the hook too easily, and thinks more highly of him than he should, and alternating between being grateful for it and uncomfortable with it.

But I would argue that Dick does deserve Tim’s admiration! 

Look, Dick's not a perfect person - no one is. He does screw up sometimes, and sometimes he's petty or jealous, and sometimes his temper gets the better of him. But he is pretty great! He's brave and thoughtful and kind and generous and caring. He takes his own grief and his own suffering and devotes himself to helping other people. And Tim sees that. Tim watches an orphaned kid crying on stage, and has nightmares about it - and later recognizes the hero in him. Tim stops Dick from beating the Joker to death, and he holds Dick back from strangling Hugo Strange, and he talks Dick down from two separate panic attacks, and he listens to Dick monologue about his various perceived failures, and he gets yelled at a lot when Dick's annoyed with him, and his takeaway from all of that is that he believes in Dick, and trusts Dick, and thinks he's a hero.

You could see that as Tim having him on a pedestal and refusing to acknowledge the ugly reality. But I tend to see it as Tim understanding that Dick's flaws and occasional missteps don't define who he is - the fact that Dick's human doesn't make him any less of a hero. Tim can see the hero that Dick can't always see in himself.

Dick and Tim have really high opinions of each other... for better or worse

Tim's not alone in having a high opinion of Dick - Dick thinks Tim's pretty great, too! Dick repeatedly compares himself to Tim and finds himself wanting, whether he's thinking that Tim's a better partner for Bruce, or having a fear toxin nightmare where Tim's a rival who's beating him out of a job, or deciding that Tim would never have let Blockbuster die (and that he'll be better off if Dick avoids him), or musing that Tim would be a better Batman. Dick calls Tim his equal and closest ally in Red Robin; Tim thinks Dick is "the best" in his origin story and basically never changes his mind.

I think nowadays we're sometimes pretty highly-attuned to the way that high expectations can be bad or oppressive, and... I have mixed feelings about this? On the one hand, it isn't untrue! Dick and Tim's mutual high opinions of each other, and correspondingly high expectations, are not an unmixed blessing! They 100% cause problems! Dick and Tim think highly of each other, and expect a lot from each other, and sometimes they're pushy or abrupt or demanding when they could stand to be more sensitive. And the iffy side of high expectations is something I find interesting, and I do think it's solidly canon-based - you see aspects of this in several of their comic conflicts - LPoD, Graduation Day, BftC, RR, etc.

But at the same time, it's complicated! I don't think you can fully untangle the higher expectations from "they rely on each other and have a lot of faith in each other." Love and trust are different things, and Dick and Tim care a whole lot about being trusted, not just about being loved.

I also think it's important that their belief in each other is often a gift rather than an inevitability: Dick and Tim choose to see each other in positive ways. Something they both do is after they have a conflict, they'll apply on a retrospective very positive gloss to whatever just happened. So e.g. Dick starts Resurrection mad at Tim, and ends it by declaring, "I let you make the choice... because I knew you'd make the right one." Tim spends most of Red Robin 1-12 mad at Dick, and ends it by declaring that he knew Dick would catch him because Dick's always there for him. And in both cases, we-the-readers are aware that they knew no such thing! But to me, that doesn't make these declarations meaningless - it makes them more meaningful. Their faith in each other is sometimes genuinely felt, and sometimes it's something they stubbornly brute-force into existence because they want to give that gift to each other.

And I mean... Tim did make the right choice. Dick was there when it really counted. Just because it isn't the whole truth doesn't mean it's not a truth.

Now, does this positivity also put some pressure on them? Absolutely! They're both people who are very upset by failure, so they tend to reassure each other by insisting that there was no failure, could never be failure, failure is impossible, even when they know perfectly well that's not true. They praise each other's skills as a love language, when what they mean is I love you no matter what. They talk about other people's needs but don't always acknowledge each other's. And it'd probably be healthier if they said instead, "Even if you'd made the wrong choice, it'd be okay, because it's okay to make the wrong choice sometimes," or "Even if you're not always there for me, that's okay, because no one can be there for someone else all the time."

And they do not say that, because Dick and Tim are relatively well-adjusted by Batfamily standards but that is a very low bar, and at the end of the day they're still deeply messed-up perfectionists who deal with their emotional problems by punching crime in the face.

But look, they're trying. And isn't that the important thing? <3

#dick 'imposter syndrome' grayson and tim 'dick grayson stan' drake #dick grayson #tim drake #dick & tim #ask tag #i rambled for a really long time anon <3 #it's complicated because i feel like mmmm the ''pedestal'' thing is obv true in some ways #but i think it also sometimes gets used in this kinda flanderized way #where it gets extrapolated into claims like ''older!tim is shocked to learn dick experiences normal human emotions' or w/e #and obv fandom is transformative and a rich tapestry etc but for me personally #part of what i LOVE about tim's introduction is that dick is in the middle of one of his very angsty eras #so tim's burst into his life being all ''hiiiiii!!! you're the best :)))))'' when dick is at peak ''i am gloomy and depressed'' #that said tim's high opinion of dick is very canon and very compelling to me <3 #tim does think dick is the greatest thing ever! #but it's more like being a stan of his rather than being a distant stranger who doesn't know him at all #it's not that tim's unaware that dick gets angry/sad/etc or that dick and tim never have fights (they do!) #it's more that unless they're actively in the middle of a fight tim admires/loves dick a lot and is determined to think well of him #so he considers all of dick's strengths What's Important About Him and all of his flaws Basically A Rounding Error If You Think About It #and he doubles-down on this when someone's questioning it (including Dick) #there is definite motivated reasoning at play in Tim's view of Dick but imo it's not quite the same as a pedestal sdfdsfds #i'm not sure there's anything that Dick could do that Tim couldn't find a way to justify in his head how it was okay / #not really Dick / not really his fault / etc. - like if Dick went on a murder spree #Tim would be there making the big This Isn't You! I Know You Won't Kill Me Because I Believe In You! speech #and like. if he was wrong then he'd be dead sdfdsf but the thing is he'd have secret doubts and be wary AND STILL #find himself ultimately making that speech / taking the risk - and ditto for Dick toward Tim #it's not that they never get mad / distrust each other and it's not impossible they'd stay bitter and suspicious for a while #but in the END they both really really WANT to trust each other

[liauditore]

For the ship bingo, perhaps ethubs or boatboys?

sorry it took so long to get to this i got so excited someone asked me to talk abt ethubs i went into a coma 😭😭

Ethubs

um uhh umerm ethubs yeah etho and bdubs and last life and mindcrack UHCs and eyah yknow um yeah

you know that one post that's like "inside my head is a five page essay with footnotes and when i speak it's just ouhghh blorbo he is so shaped". that's me with ethubs. not even kidding ethubs is the ship that made me finally "get" shipping in general, mcyt or not. i. words. i care them.

and uh there's. not rlly anything i can say i think that my ethubs moots haven't already said? They've been friends forever, they play off eachother super well, "he loves me", they're both so obsessed and in need of eachother but at the same time would rather eat raw, unpicked cactus than admit that, etc etc they're so unwell

im just gonna skip on over to the song lyrics bit cus i. they make my brain short circuit i cant even sentences.

The scarlet summer is gone and peaceful gray is draping the city Alone, I reach out for you to hold me tight, shivering Always the days spent with you warmed my heart and kept me from freezing Although I knew they were gone forever But in my pain, to me you came like the warmest breeze "On nights so cold I know you need some company."

Though only in lonely and freezing times, we held each other close to keep from feeling hopeless nothings And now again I can see summer fast approaching like a storm that there's no stopping Repeating in a cycle Like our mistakes

My love for you is endless, just like the deepest sea And like the ocean blue your complications speak to me I've come to understand you, your parts and inner workings My sun only in winter Only when I need you or else you won't need me

Leave you in Summer, Yet You're In My Fluffthoughts (Ashe translyrics) (sidenote this might be one of my favourite music videos of all time)

Falling so deeply while clinging to love But even so, I feel my heart and it’s floating up above Your true face, such a passionate one, shows your beauty, coming in a flood True, all of our short-lived youth will someday come to end Ah, even so, in my view, it starts right now, yet again

And every day, I found I prayed for you to be always full of happiness that remains Ah, just like this, please wait right by my side, please stay

Tablet (Will Stetson / sayriris translyrics) (after watching LL the first thing i did was make a MV to this song with LL Bdubs and it was still the most insane thing ive ever done fuelled by pure gargoyle inspiration juice)

I wouldn't say they're ~~Divorced~~ quite yet cus Idk if they were ever really married as much as just plain endlessly obsessed with eachother, which they still are. But they definitely broke up lmao

but yeah uh their chemistry is great. bdubs said it best. they've been thru the trenches together.

Boat Boys

Thankfully much less thoughts about these two or else this post would get way too long lmao. I like them but I'm not too insane about them I guess? Etho's very awkward near people he isn't used to which was fun to watch but made their interactions kind of limited for a lot of DL I feel.

Joel's obsession with Etho is hilarious and seeing Bdubs get jealous of his #1 ethogirl status getting challenged is great fun. He's definitely gone through a bit of an arc from "I KILLED ETHO! I KILLED ETHO!!" in Last Life to "Eefo D:< You're making me nervous, eefo D:<" in Double Life to whatever the cow divorce situation was in Limlife. It seems like Etho's otherworldly status has been nerfed in his head and he's much less intimidated by him, while still admiring him in that 'childhood hero' sorta way.

I think because of that I've always seen them a little bit as more of a mentor/prodigy relationship than anything else? Specifically one that Etho is not even aware he's in. Eitherway, I don't really ship them in the romantic sense 🤷‍♂️ etho's just way too aloof and joel's got too much fangirl energy for it to be anything intimate lol

#asks #ask games #trafficshipping #ethubs #smalletho #i love joel smallishbeans have i mentioned i love joel smallishbeans #but yeah i would have so much more ethubs art if i wasn't such a perfectionist abt them </3 #they drive me insane

[gummyfang]

˗ˏˋ ALPHABET MASTERPOST  ´ˎ˗

Considering I use most requests in my inbox for fics or drabbles, I having alphabet prompts in my inbox to fall back on if I don’t want to think about something too hard but I wanna write something. This post will be updated with the characters I will write for and new Alphabet prompt lists.

This masterpost contains a Hurt/Comfort Alphabet [@/thathcwriter], Fluff Alphabet [@/mirclealignr] and the NSFW Alphabet [don’t know who made that one]. If you don’t specify in your request which respective alphabets you are requesting the specific letters for, I will delete your ask.

Characters you can currently request letters for: 

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley

König

Leon S. Kennedy

You can always try your hand at requesting a character not on here, but I might delete it.

➸ alphabet prompts below the cut !!

✧ Hurt/Comfort Alphabet ✧

A: Alleviate - How do they go about relieving persistent physical pain?

B: Bedridden - How do they behave when they’re sick?

C: Cling - Whose physical touch is considered most welcome in their minds when they are in need? Is there a specific type of touch they respond well to?

D: Deathbed - How would they react if they realized they may not recover from their injuries?

E: Emergency - What is their gut reaction when someone they care about is hurt?

F: Fight - Are there circumstances under which they would not accept treatment or care? If so, what are they?

G: Ghosts - How has their past shaped the kind of comfort they respond to best?

H: Home - What things (objects, sensations or people) remind them they’re safe after a scary situation?

I: Isolation - How do they soothe themselves when no one is around to soothe them?

J: Joy - When was the first time they were truly happy after going through something terrible?

K: Kindness - Do they believe they deserve the comfort they receive? Why or why not?

L: Levity - What or who helps them take their mind off of the circumstances?

M: Music - Is there a song that comforts them? Why is it comforting to them?

N: Nostalgia - What things that comforted them as a kid still work today? Does anyone know that?

O: Overworked - Who or what tells them to stop working and take care of themselves?

P: Please - Have they ever begged for someone to comfort or stay with them? What was that incident like?

Q: Questions - Are they eager to talk about what or why they’re hurting? Why or why not?

R: Relief - How do they react to the realization that they will soon be fully recovered?

S: Scared - What would it take for them to admit that they’re scared?

T: Time - How long does it take for them to feel better after an ordeal or illness? Do they tend to lie about how soon they feel better?

U: Ugly - What part of their recovery process are they ashamed of, if any?

V: Valiant - Has anyone told them they were brave for facing what they did? How would they react if someone did?

W: Why? - How did they process what happened to them?

X: Xenas - Do they see anyone as an inspiration in their recovery? Does their inspiration know about this?

Y: Yearn - What gesture, person or thing do they desperately want, but would never actually ask for?

Z: Zero - What is the best way to comfort them without touching them?

✧ Fluff Alphabet ✧

A -> Affection; how they like to show their love.

B -> Beauty; what do they especially admire about you?

C -> Cuddles; how they like to cuddle you.

D -> Dancing; their favourite place to dance with you.

E -> Excitement; do they get excited with you about things?

F -> First Date; your first date together.

G -> Goals; do they have things they want to achieve? Do they include you in these things?

H -> Honesty; how open are they with you?

I -> I Love You; do they say it a lot? did they say it first?

J -> Jealousy; do they get jealous?

K -> Kiss; their favourite place to kiss you.

L -> Little Spoon; who’s the little spoon?

M -> Melody; what’s your song together?

N -> Nicknames; do they use nicknames for you?

O -> Open Book; how hard was it to get to know them?

P -> PDA; how affectionate they are in public.

Q -> Quirk: a weird but loveable trait of theirs.

R -> Romance; how romantic are they?

S -> Secrets; do they keep secrets from you?

T -> Thrill; do they like to keep the relationship new and exciting?

U -> Understanding; how they comfort/support when you’re upset or anxious.

V -> Vexed; how easily they lose their temper.

W -> Weakness; what’s their weakness what it comes to you?

X -> Xtra; random hc about them.

Y -> Years to Come; how they imagine your future together.

Z -> Zzz; how they are when they sleep.

✧ NSFW Alphabet ✧

A= Aftercare (what they’re like after the act)

B= Body part (favorite body part their own or their lovers)

C= Cum (anything that has to do with it)

D= Dirty secret (Pretty self explanatory)

E= Experience (do they know what they’re doing)

F= Favorite position

G= Goofy (how serious are they)

H= Hair (grooming habits)

I= Intimacy (in the moment romantic or rough/dirty)

J= Jack off (do they masturbate and how often)

K= Kink (kinks what they like possibly unusual)

L= Location (where they like to get it on)

M= Motivation (things that makes them tick/turn ons)

N= No (turnoffs or absolutely won’t do)

O= Oral (receiving or giving and how skillful they are)

P= Pace (how fast they are and how long they last in bed)

Q= Quickie (do they prefer fast and hard)

R= Risk (do they like to try new things)

S= Stamina (how many times they can go and how long each round lasts)

T= Toys (are they game for using sex toys on themselves or lovers)

U= Unfair (how do they tease or do they enjoy suspense themselves)

V= Volume (are they loud, what sounds, and do they talk)

W= Wild card (random sincannon of any sort)

X= X-ray (what’s down below in dem pants)

Y= Yearning (sexdrive level)

Z= Zzzz (do they sleep after if so how quickly after)

#alphabet masterpost #leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #resident evil #cod #call of duty #konig #könig #konig x reader #könig x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost #ghost x reader #hurt/comfort #fluff #alphabet #gummyfang

[makeste]

BnHA Episode 122, a.k.a. NOBUHIKO YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN

THEY CAN'T KEEP LETTING HIM GET AWAY WITH IT!

oh my god.

so first off, let's just get the one big major criticism out of the way: this episode was definitely not up to the same high quality standards as the first third of this season. and hey, I get it! you're doing 24 episodes in all, you're on a time crunch, and you've only got so many animators to go around. and the quality of some of these earlier season 6 eps (118 and 119 especially) was seriously some of the best this series has ever had. by contrast, chapters 284 and 285, while still easily ranking among my favorite chapters of all time, definitely do not go as hard with the visuals as some of the other War arc chapters (that very last 285 page being the one standout exception).

anyway so yeah, it was still a slight disappointment, but I'm fine with it. it does mean Deku vs Kacchan 2 will still retain its crown as my all time fave, but the real meat of this episode was never going to be about the flashy visuals -- it's all about that sweet, sweet character development.

two more very minor criticisms before I get to the OMG nonstop gushing part of this post! one, they did cut out this scene from ch 282 where Tomura originally had TWO quirk-be-gone bullets in his possession and Kacchan actually destroyed the second one.

YOU THOUGHT WE WOULDN'T REMEMBER, BONES. BUT WE DID. so for everyone who is giving Kacchan his well-earned love, praise, and admiration today, don't forget to also give him props for saving Aizawa's other leg, or whichever other appendage this doubtless would have hit. my boy out here lowkey saving his sensei from being ReDestro'd.

and then one final nitpicky little quibble, which is that the anime subtitlers declined to use the "Catch-A-Kacchan" translation, despite it being the single cleverest translation of all time, and by far Caleb Cook's biggest and most important contribution to the BnHA canon. alas, twas not meant to be. BUT ANYWAY NOW ON TO THE GUSHING.

okay so first off, we all know that Aizawa is an absolute badass and the most metal motherfucker in this entire series, and that Shouto has by this point all but perfected the art of swooping in to save the day at pivotal moments, and that the U.A. kids all need ALL OF THE THERAPY GODDAMMIT, and that Deku is a COMPLETE LUNATIC who thinks that HAVING FUNCTIONAL ARMS IS OVERRATED ANYWAYS. yes and yes and yes and yes. and if you wish, you can read all about my thoughts on these things and more, here and here and here and here.

but you already know what I actually came here to talk about today.

first of all, YOU GUYS. the music. THIS FUCKING MUSIC, THOUGH. they used the exact same OST track that was used for the "why was I the one who ended All Might?" speech all the way back in DvK2. THIS IS OFFICIALLY THE "TIME FOR NOBUHIKO TO FLEX HIS VOICE ACTING CHOPS" MUSIC. A TRADITION HAS BEEN BORN.

anyway so if anyone needs me I'll just be sitting here playing this scene on repeat until the end of time. no big deal though. I can quit at any time. not like I'm obsessed with it or anything. I definitely love this scene and this character a perfectly normal amount.

All Might talking about how Katsuki understood from the get-go about how OFA was a secret that could put other people at great risk really hits hard in hindsight. especially when you realize that Katsuki really did know right from the start, and he willingly accepted that risk with no hesitation, and he absolutely did suffer consequences for it (it was his knowledge of OFA that led to him following Deku and subsequently getting involved in this battle). and I don't doubt that he has absolutely zero regrets.

okay but can we seriously just talk for a sec about the way Kacchan's anxiety is practically boiling over when he starts to ask All Might about the Fourth's cause of death?? I feel like this is one thing that kind of got overlooked at the time in the manga because we were so completely distracted by EVERY SINGLE OTHER DAMN THING IN THAT CHAPTER lol. but hearing it again here, you feel how worried he actually is about Deku, and idk why but it all of a sudden just hit me so damn hard.

"I'm worried about him. you are, too." because that truly is what this whole conversation is really about. or at least that's the driving force behind it. behind this whole episode, in fact. it's simple, when you get right down to it: Kacchan is afraid that Deku is going to die. it's literally been the biggest fear on his mind ever since Deku unlocked SIXQUIRKS. right from the start, his mind was immediately going to the worst case scenarios. he immediately deduced that OFA might have a deeper connection to AFO than any of them realized (shoutout to Kacchan for being the original "Deku is a horcrux" truther lol. ONE DAY HORIKOSHI WILL FINALLY REVEAL THE TRUTH AND PROVE US RIGHT). he instantly zeroed in on the sobering fact that all of the previous OFA users died young. and as he reveals here, he took particular notice of the fact that All Might seems to be hiding something about OFA IV's death, and he is goddamn PRESSED about it.

and I absolutely LOVE the way that Nobu voiced this part of the conversation. when he starts to question All Might, his breathing starts to pick up a little, and his voice starts to get louder, and the words start to spill out faster and faster almost like he's in a rush to get it all out, and his voice starts to crack just a little, and he goes from not looking at All Might to hesitantly, almost fearfully glancing at him from the side, and then finally turning to face him head on with his eyes all wary and his teeth gritted like he's bracing himself for the very worst (because he is).

and then he finally just asks him, "was it because you realized something?" and then he takes in this achingly hesitant little breath before finishing with, "...about One for All?" and just. the whole scene is just SO well done. like, he's seriously so fucking scared about this, though. but at the same time he just needs to know, and just. oh my god. and Nobuhiko manages to emote all of this so clearly, and that is such a difficult line to walk when you're dealing with a character like Katsuki who's always so hesitant to show his vulnerability. he has to portray these two separate layers of Bakugou at the same time -- the part of him that is trying his hardest to be nonchalant and matter-of-fact in order to hide his fears and emotions; while at the same time also portraying said emotions which are clearly seeping through anyway, regardless of his efforts.

anyway so yeah. I could talk about this for eighty years and never get sick of it honestly but let's move on.

let me tell you guys, I've been bracing myself for this scene for two full years, and it still kicked my ass. THIS SCENE HAD NO REGARD FOR HUMAN LIFE. literally RIGHT IN the feels. direct hit.

"he's always been that way." no, but guys. the regret when he says that. the way he states it with such simplicity and clarity. almost profound. this is just a truth of the world. this is just how Deku is. this is something that took him so long to understand, but now that he does, he can't fathom how he was never able to see it before. and then that ever-so-slight bitterness that creeps into his voice as he goes on to describe how he fucked it all up. ;_;

and then last but not least!!

"ijimeta." one word, in Japanese. it all comes down to that. and his voice gets so quiet. this whole last part of his speech is so quiet and so soft. but when he says this very last part, his voice wavers perfectly on that last word, and it just. sounds so resigned, somehow, but also just... almost faltering, for just a moment. you can hear the regret as clear as day, but you also hear the fear once again as he finally reveals this fact -- literally his biggest shame; the worst thing that he's ever done -- to All Might. his hero. just, damn.

anyway. so needless to say, despite my expectations being SKY HIGH, this scene absolutely met all of them and blew me away. as expected from the best fucking voice actor in Japan, according to me, a single lone person, whose subjective opinion is absolutely definitely not biased in any possible way.

back to the action! and Nobu getting to do his very best Deku impression lol.

can you believe this kid. one single nerdy analysis speech was all it took for him to start emitting such powerful Main Character Energy that even Endeavor got taken in and was just automatically following orders lol.

awesome choice of music here while Deku and Tomura continued to battle and Bakugou laid out his plan. you know it's good when they still manage to make you feel the tension even though this is basically just a generic action scene, and you additionally already know exactly what's going to happen.

I have no idea why, but that part with Deku's "Kacchan... my 'Deku' means 'you can do it!'" speech juxtaposed against the image of him going all out against Tomura with such fierce determination hit me like 100x harder than it did in the manga. I was NOT expecting that to be as powerful as it was. damn near gave me chills.

literally the only time I've ever been on board with the whole "FUCK YEAH, I'LL JUST BREAK ALL MY BONES AT YOU!!" deal lol. it literally makes no goddamn sense but this scene is just so raw.

THEN WE YEET THE ENDEAVOR!!!!

SO ON-BRAND. NO DEKU-INSPIRED PLAN IS EVER TRULY COMPLETE WITHOUT A GOOD YEETING.

and then the next few moments are some of the most legitimately unsettling of the entire series, as we have Tomura screaming at the top of his lungs while being burnt to cinders (and I mean, I love Tomura dearly, but I get it; he literally just Thanos'd tens of thousands of innocent people), followed by AFO's creepy fucking ghost hand reaching out all "LEND ME YOUR BODY~~~" which is a scene that absolutely NO ONE ASKED FOR but okay.

but then right afterwards though! when AFO finally did take over, and you hear that "TV shutting down" sound effect all of a sudden? and then the next few scenes with all the BKDK flashbacks are also weirdly TV-themed? I could not for the life of me figure this out at first, but now I'm actually thinking it could be a reference to the chapter 306 color page?

OR MAYBE NOT? I actually have no idea. anyway though it may have been random af but it worked for me, what can I say.

AND THEN THE MOMENT OF TRUTH AT LONG LAST.

THIS ACTUALLY IS SO PRETTY THOUGH?? LIKE I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT COLOR COMBINATION AT ALL?

AND IT HAPPENS SO QUICKLY!!!!??? YOU BARELY EVEN HAVE TIME TO BLINK?!?!!

oh. my. god.

THE WAY THE MUSIC SUDDENLY GOT QUIET. THE WAY HIS NARRATING VOICE CAME ON AND, PRAISE EVERYTHING, IT REALLY WAS DEEPER. THAT REALLY WAS THE ADULT HIM. SAME AS DEKU. MY FEELINGS ABOUT THIS ARE SO FUCKING MUCH RIGHT NOW.

AND THEN THE FLASHBACKS!! THE SCENES OF THEM IN MIDDLE SCHOOL!! AND GROUND ZERO!! AND THEN CUTTING TO THE TWO OF THEM AS LITTLE BABIES, AND THE TV SCREEN ALL OF A SUDDEN SWITCHING TO COLOR??? AND THE HANDS??? THE REACHING?!?!

AND THEN?!?!?!

"HEY MAKESTE, IF WE GO AHEAD AND ACTUALLY MAKE THE VOLUME 29 COVER CANON, WILL YOU FINALLY FORGIVE US FOR ALL OF THE HALF-BAKED PAINFULLY OOC FILLER EPISODES AND OVAS?" WELL, STUDIO BONES, YOU DRIVE A HARD BARGAIN, BUT HOW CAN I POSSIBLY REFUSE.

AND THEN THEY FULL ON MURDERED ME!!!!!

that's right bitches. DREAD IT. RUN FROM IT. THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT ARRIVES ALL THE SAME.

holy shit. and then THE END CREDITS oh my freaking heart. words can't even describe.

Studio Bones out here not resting until they've succeeded in making EVERY SINGLE PERSON feel the MAXIMUM AMOUNT OF SADNESS THAT A HUMAN BEING CAN SUSTAIN. their callousness truly knows no bounds.

anyway so there we have it! part one of the spectacular season 6 Bakugou Katsuki Redemption Saga. I laughed, I cried, I cried, I cried, I cried a little bit more, and then I cried a little bit more after that. final verdict: yeah, it was pretty good.

#bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha season 6 #bnha episode 122 #bakugou katsuki #bakugou meta #makeste watches bnha #okamoto nobuhiko appreciation post #and I feel character development in this chili's tonight

[gaybitchfx]

Hello!, I recently came across your blog and I want to make a request, about some headcanon of what genya, kanae, tengen and kyojuro are like with a reader childhood friend who is a very sick and fragile person since they are children, And that at some point the reader starts to feel like a burden for them But they reassure them, I hope it is not a problem and have a nice day/afternoon /night

Note: Sorry, but I can’t do Kanae since well, she’s a women, and I don’t write any females x m!reader stuff even if it's fluff or angst since this is a male reader and gn!reader blog, but I can do the others!

Character(s): Genya, Uzui, Rengoku

Type of reader: M!Reader

Category: Fluff🥰✨

Warning(s): Self discrimination

Edited: ❌

Since he's met you from childhood, you've been nothing but bedridden and sick

But that never stopped him from walking long distances to come and play with you

Even know, as a teenager, he comes to visit you and make sure you're alright

Never in his life has he ever complained about the long walk he has to take to your home since it was always the best part of the day

Especially after a mission, he would rant to you about it and sometimes he'd talk 'bout his big brother Sanemi and how much he admired him

Seeing you laugh with the stories he told always brought a smile to his face

But after a couple visits, you started acting weird and rejecting the offers Genya would ask you about or bring you

Eventually, after convincing you to spill the beans you did and it honestly broke Genya's heart a bit

He never thought about he you felt like a burden he had to take care of because you were such a weak and fragile person

But even after you told him that he continued to show how much he carried about you and how much he wants to be by your side

You were so very happy to hear this and almost fell out of bed when going to give Genya a hug

Uzui knows how you have to stay in bed most of the time and doesn't really care about it since you've been like that since they were kids

Yeah it had its cons and pros when he wanted to play with you outside, but that didn't matter to him

As kids he'd tell you about all the cool stuff that was outside, loving the way your eyes would shine with excitement as he went on and on about the things that was there

He once tried taking you outside, but was scolded by his mother and your mother about how you could easily get sick if you take one step outside your house

As time went on he never stopped coming to check up on you and tell you about the things that happened in his everyday life

Hell, he even told you about his wives to which you were shocked with

You did get to meet them and they treated you like a child, but it was nice being smothered with love by different people

As days passed you wondered if you being so sick and fragile might have had an impact on Uzui since he did an everyday routine where he'd visit you

Eventually you told Uzui he didn't have to visit you everyday to which he was shocked with

He had asked why and you told him you felt like a burden to take care of and wanted him to live a worry free life

In which he responded with just giving you a hug, but not tight, and telling you he cared about you the most and wouldn't give up anything to not be with you (you did cry when he told you that)

When first meeting Rengoku as kids he somewhat scared you from his upbeat personality and how much energy he had

Especially when he'd pop out of nowhere from the side of your bed scarring you

Slowly, you grew accustomed to being around his hyper self

He did ask why you were always in bed and you responded with telling him you were much weaker than other kids and would get very sick out of the blue

Of course he understood and played inside your house with you making you feel like a normal child

As the two of you grew, the amount of energy he had never failed to impress you one bit

His loud a booming voice was your favorite things to hear especially when he'd visit you and shout a, 'I've arrived, Y/n!' from the front door

It was both funny and cute

Rengoku must've noticed something in your behavior when you'd sometimes decline certain things and even asked him to leave early if he wanted

Eventually, you told him what was bothering you only for him to laugh

He responded with him saying visiting you and talking to you was much more fun and he looked forward to it everyday, you of course was very happy to hear this since know you knew you weren't a burden to him

#genya shinazugawa #Genya x male reader #Genya x you #genya x y/n #uzui tengen #uzui x male reader #uzui x you #uzui x y/n #uzui x reader #rengoku kyojuro #rengoku x male reader #rengoku x y/n #rengoku x you #rengoku x reader #fiction #fluff #anime #male reader #demon slayer x male reader #demon slayer

[blubushie]

Is there a reason you're so open about your sex life?

Yeah actually. I've had a lot of shit happen to me in my life.

The first person I ever had a crush on was another boy, and my best mate. We'll call him Nate. I knew I liked boys before I knew I liked girls, cuz up until I was 12 I'd never really spent time with girls at all—I didn't even know any girls my age—but I did have Nate. I met him when I was 10, and he taught me to ride horses and work stock. So growing up that was one helluva secret to hold. And he knew that I liked boys, and he jokingly called me a faggot and a queer and we laughed about it. And when other kids would hang shit on me at school, he didn't. In private, sure, with love. But in public, he stuck up for me. Cuz I was one of the Good Ones™, and his friend.

When I was 12 I was abused by a man in his 40s. And I heavily repressed my feelings towards other boys because I figured that that was the path it led down. "Gays are paedophiles. Queers wanna touch kids. They're dangerous." And I figured that if I just ignored it, I'd never end up a monster like he was. And when I told Nate about this, he said the same thing. "They're all like that. They're dangerous. You need to be careful or people will think you'll do the same. And I know you won't, cuz you're one of the Good Ones™. But you have to be careful." Nate was the first and only person I told about my abuse until it went public. He kept my secret for 3 years. He held me and I cried.

Nate was the last man outside of family who's held me. I haven't been held by another man since I was 12. I haven't been hugged by another man outside my family since I was 15.

At 14, I met another kid we'll call Lake. He was fun, and cheerful, and bubbly. And he was also gay. Very very openly gay. The feminine kinda gay. Talks like a girl kinda gay. Not my type, but I admired him. And I envied his bravery in being so out and not caring about what people thought of him.

Or the risk.

At 15, Nate got me drunk. We'd been working calves all day on the local station where his parents lived as hired hands. He snuck a slab from his parents' outshed on the station and we took our horses out and sat in the shade of a gum and drank. I'd never had alcohol before except at Mass, and I got pretty tipsy. And the sun was setting and it struck these orange streaks through his hair, and reflected real pretty off those eyes, and I decided he was very very handsome in that moment and in drunk brain, I should kiss him. So I leant over and pecked his cheek.

He went off on me.

It turns out that it's ok to be gay, as long as you're gay for the right people. And the right people is anyone who isn't the person you're talking to. Cuz he turned to me and I saw a rage in his eyes that I knew meant whatever kinda friendship we'd formed over 5 years, it was dead in the water the moment I kissed him. He looked at me the same way he looked at all the other queers, same way he looked at Lake, with that "I don't mind gays but I wish they'd be a little quieter about it" face. And then he slogged me.

We scrapped. And at first I thought he was just being an idiot, cuz I was 15 and he was 17 and we were both teenage boys and we biffed sometimes. But after a few seconds he got on top of me and stopped pulling his punches, and I was trying to tell him to stop and that I was sorry and he didn't. He kept hitting me. And he called me a faggot, and a queer, and a freak, and that there was something wrong with me and he had to beat the faggotry outta me cuz I had a skull too thick for my own good and if he didn't teach me a lesson now I'd do it again and the next bloke might just kill me for it.

He gave me a good slog to the side of the head and rung my bell real good, and then he kicked me in the stomach and got on his horse and rode back to the station. I laid there maybe ten minutes trying to breathe through all the blood in my nose and making sure he didn't knock any teeth out. That was the first time I really genuinely got a bashing.

I never talked to him again. I saw him once on station, and tried to talk to him and apologise, but he just walked away. I stopped visiting the station after that.

I made friends with Lake. We both went to Catholic school, so he got picked on a lot for being gay. But he never let it get him down. And I started standing up for him when I saw kids treat him like shit. Because he was my friend, and he was one of the Good Ones™. But deep down I envied him. I wanted to be him. I wanted to be able to walk with my chin high and strut like a fucken peacock knowing I'm hot shit and that nobody could touch me. But internalised homophobia is a hell of a thing, and deep down I also knew I'd never be like him. Because my issue isn't just me being attracted to men, but also being intersex and a dozen other different little things. But to Lake, that didn't matter. To Lake I was cut of the same cloth. We were confidants.

Eventually with time I realised that there's no such thing as "one of the Good Ones™." Being attracted to someone the same sex or gender as you isn't a fault. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. But I still hid it. I wasn't brave enough to be open about it, I was scared of judgement, I was scared of punishment for something I couldn't control, so I kept it a secret.

The third person I told was my girlfriend. She took it in stride. I thought she was afraid that I'd made her my beard when I was definitely attracted to her too, but she was actually the one who explained bisexuality to me. And everything clicked. But she was also aware that I was squashing down my attraction to men because I was afraid, so she made me watch Brokeback Mountain, and that's actually how I ended up genuinely coming to terms with my sexuality. I didn't want to be so afraid of loving that I'd never loved at all.

I never acted on my attraction, cuz I'm a loyal bastard, but when she and I split I stopped trying to hide what I am. I am a man who happens to be attracted to men. I am also attracted to women. And that's ok. That's not something to be ashamed of, it's not something I need to hide, it's not something I have to keep secret.

I'll never be the loudly out gay man. I'll never be the loudly out bisexual. I don't wear pride pins, I don't flaunt my sexuality, I don't wear rainbows. If anyone looked at me they wouldn't assume I like men, let alone immediately know.

I'll never be like Lake. But I don't have to be like Lake. I just have to be me. And through talking about my experiences, maybe some other young man who's in the same shoes I used to be in will look at me and realise that all he has to be is himself. And if that man likes men, then so be it.

#blu whos #bisexual #gay #mlm #tw homophobia #tw csa