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alexa-fika · 3 months

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Revenge and Teasings ( Asl x sister!reader)

A/N: Yall, I COOKED; we got some of that ASL action up in here 🫦. Will this make you guys forgive me for leaving you unfed for two days? We got those polled jobs; I think we all agreed on these guys’ jobs. I didn’t ask about Luffy cause he has a canonically modern au job given by Oda 👀 . Guys, I researched Law and firefighting for a few hours for this. Im a teacher, so thankfully, I didn't have to research that one. Also, beware, this does address abusive relationships, but dw, I also included a lot of wholesomeness at the end cause; hello?

Taglist at the bottom < 3

Dividers by @/saradika

The three Brothers find themselves in the living room, Ace and Luffy roughhousing while Sabo sighs, trying to separate them.

Their usual antics were halted as the door to the house slammed open and closed, their little sister standing at the door, tears going down her face.

“O-Oh hey, you guys are all here earlier!” She exclaims hastily, wiping her face

The fighting paused as all three paused and stared, Sabo nodding.

"Yeah… I only had a short meeting with a client today; Ace just had a PD day, and Luffy didn’t have a shift today… are you okay, Reader?”

He asked her, glancing at her; her eyes were puffed up, her hair was everywhere, and her clothes were covered with dirt

“Yeah! Yeah! Just had a little stumble outside; it was so embarrassing since everyone saw it and got overwhelmed,” she replies quickly, trying to fix the mess in her hair

The brothers all glanced at each other and then back to Reader, who clearly was lying.

Ace narrowed his eyes at her.

"You’re lying."

Luffy nodded also.

“Yeah, you’re really bad at lying when you’re upset. What’s wrong?”

“You caught me.”

She laughs

“The administration called me out today; one of my co-workers complained about how I ran the classroom; I was so upset I lost balance on my bike and fell,” she winced, rubbing her nose.

“To make matters worse, now I have a bunch of paperwork to do, thanks to her, so I have to get started on that,” she groans, walking up the stairs

“I’ll be downstairs for dinner!” she calls as she enters her room, closing the door behind her

“….”

“Since when does she call the other teachers ‘co-workers’? She always calls them by name when telling us about them, doesn’t she?” Sabo questions

“It’s absolute bullshit that anyone would complain about her classroom, I’ve seen her lesson plans, and they are one of a kind; there's no way anyone could complain about them,” Ace adds

“And why was she so worked up over paperwork…? She always loves doing it; she was one of those weirdos who loved having something to do…., especially for her kids.”

“She definitely lying again….” Sabo concludes, getting up.

“Let me talk to her!” Luffy exclaims, shooting up

“I think it’s best we all go together; if we go alone, she will easily be able to brush us off or lie again; it’s harder to do that with three people onto you.”

“Okay then, let’s go,” Ace said, getting up as well and climbing up the stairs

“Reader? Can you open up for a minute?”

“Y-Yeah! Just give me a minute!” She screamed, sounds of her scrambling being heard

“Hey, I thought I told you guys I had paperwork to do?” she nervously smiled as she opened the door

“ We know you are l-“ Luffy starts but is cut off as Ace quickly wraps his arms around him, covering his mouth

“We know you’re having a crappy day, but we thought that since we were all here, we would spend some time together,” Sabo cuts in with a gentle smile on his face

“O-oh, well…yeah, come in then!” She said, opening the door wider with a smile

After some whispering between Ace and Luffy, the brothers pile in; Ace sits in her desk chair while Luffy throws himself on her bed next to her, and Sabo takes a seat on the bed, glancing at her

"Hey, what’s this reader?” Luffy said, raising his sister’s sleeve to reveal a dark bruise on her wrist.

“Oh, that! Well, like I said, I had a pretty bad tumble on the bike.”

“You have another one forming on your face. Luffy points out.”

“Yeah… I must have been really unlucky; I fell on my face when I fell.”

Sabo narrowed his eyes at her; after so many cases and long days at the court, he had grown excellent at deciphering body language; it became second nature for him to spot mannerisms that hinted towards the person’s insincerity or anxiousness.

Mannerism, such as constantly shifting their eyes between different people in the room, the way they begin to scratch at their nose more often than usual, playing with their hair to try to ease the anxiety or the slight tilt they did towards the door, an escape route if they were discovered; all of these he could easily spot in his sister.

Luffy glanced at the bruises, experience of running in and out of burning buildings, and helping people in hazardous and unfortunate situations; he had seen all types of injuries and had become used to them, become used to identifying their origin

Scrapes and open skin from high-speed accidents, abrasions on the skin from hazardous materials being misused or leaked, and even bruises and injuries from civil unrest situations. He had enough experience to be able to tell injuries from a bike stumble to man-made injuries.

Ace glanced at her sister; because of his job, he was obligated to be certified in specific areas, mandatory reporting being one of them.

Because he spent all day with the children, he had to be able to spot any abusive indicators, inconsistencies in their stories, malnutrition, the children’s reaction to their parents, and weird marks on their bodies. Although he had been trained on how to apply this with his first-grade students, the same principle could be applied to any person of any age that presented these indicators, indicators that he could clear as day see on his sister

The brothers glance at each other, and ever the one to take the lead, Luffy is the first one to speak up

“Shishi, really? Do you need any help bandaging the scrapes?” he offers

“Scrapes? I don’t have any scrapes, Luffy”

“Hah? That’s weird; when people fall off their bikes they usually have lots of scapes; you don’t have any, just some pretty bad bruises,” he points out

“W-Well I-

“People who have been in biking accidents, or just falling in general, usually have lots of injuries in their hands, seeing as it is our instinct to protect our face and to slow our fall., you however, have none of those weird..” Continued Sabo

"W-Well, I have no self-preser-

“It’s weird despite having so much paperwork to do and being outed by one of your co-workers, these lesson plans are all completed, and there are footnotes all around from your co-workers seems they really liked your ideas and need you to help them implement them on their own classroom, wonder what kind of person would ask advice from someone they think is doing their job wrong” Ace comments picking up the various papers littered on her desk

“H-Hey don’t tou-

“You aren’t going to lie again, right?” Ace cuts in

“Because I mean, you really suck at it,” Luffy adds

“Do we wanna try another round of you telling a convincing story?” Ace adds, glancing at her

“I -I…” she tries to find the right words but hangs her head after failing to do so

“That’s unfair; you guys are teaming up and using your jobs against me.”

“It’s not fair? Not fair for who?” Sabo raises a brow.

“We are just calling you out on your bullshit, which is pretty nice of us,” Ace comments in a deadpan voice

“Usually, with everyone in the law, we would tear you to shreds until you said the truth. You should be thankful for being so lucky that we’re your brothers,” Sabo adds

“Can I do anything to make you guys drop this?”

“Nope,” Luffy said without hesitation

She groans, throwing herself in her pillow head-first

Ace sighed, joining his siblings on the bed and easily picking his sister up, sitting in her place, placing her on his lap, and hugging her

“Please let us help you; we promise we will deal with anything you may be going through.”

“Nothing wrong,” she says quietly

“N-nothing’s wrong,” she repeats, a slight crack in her voice as tears start pooling in her eyes

“Nothing…Nothing is wrong,” she says as she begins sobbing, gripping his brother's clothes tightly as she cried into him, the same way she did when they were children

The brothers all stayed still; Ace stroked her hair comfortingly and patted her back as she broke down in tears. Despite them all being grown up and having seen their share of violence and trauma, this still made the brothers' hearts bleed, seeing their youngest sibling hurt.

Luffy pulled her into a hug, his rubber arms embracing her tightly, letting her sob into his arms while Sabo patted her back in support.

"Hey now, it's okay; you can tell us the truth now; we aren't gonna be mad."

“I can’t; I can’t. “

"You can, we promise, we are all adults; we aren’t gonna lash out at you for telling us the truth," Sabo said firmly

"No matter what you say, or what has happened, we will always be here for you" Ace reassures her

“No, He said he would hurt you,” she cries

The brothers all freeze at her words; their smiles falter, and their faces all drop, their hearts all break.

Luffy pushes out slightly from their embrace, grabbing her hands and looking her in the eyes

“Reader. Tell us who did this, no matter who it is, we’ll kick his ass! We won’t be done in by some idiot; you’re always there for us, so let us carry your burden this time!” Luffy exclaims

“I don’t want you guys to get hurt; I couldn’t live with myself if my brothers got hurt because of me,”

“Don’t be an idiot!” luffy screams at her, shaking her, ignoring his brothers' protests

“We’re already hurt from seeing you get hurt and not being able to do anything! It hurts more seeing you get hurt!”

Her eyes widen at his words as her sobs become more frantic

Ace quickly pulls his little sister from Luffy before pulling her into a big bear hug and kissing her forehead affectionately

“We’ll be fine, just please tell us who it was; we promise we’ll handle this; as your big brothers, it’s our responsibility to protect you, and to do that, we have to know who did this to you,” his voice was tender and kind. All the fire that was in him earlier has dimmed and was taken over by nothing but brotherly concern.

“E-E-Enel,” she sobs out

Ace is the first to react, turning his sister toward him

“Enel? The asshole who kept harassing you back at the host club? I thought we left him behind when we left that job?”

“After we got our jobs in Newgate School, he managed to find my contact,” she cries

“He said if I stopped seeing him, he would go after you guys. He said he would destroy your careers and your lives, and then he would go after my kids.”

Ace sighs, flickering her forehead

“You’re an idiot.”

She squeaks, holding her forehead in pain

“W-What?”

Ace chuckles softly

“I’m calling you an idiot, did you forget? Sabo is the best attorney in GrandLine, Luffy is a firefighter with friends in all the offices, including the police, and you know our principal, Edward, is a family man, but he is powerful; he would not stand still if he heard this, especially not to one of his employees being under threat and definitely not when the kids are under threat.”

Luffy nods in agreement.

“We are pretty much the worst people a guy could try to mess with; you do realize that, right?”

“I know that, I know the chances were slim, but I wasn’t going to take any chances, not with you guys on the line.”

“So, instead, you decided to put yourself on the line?” Luffy asks

“Is your health not worth even a chance to protect us? Was that your reasoning sister? I thought you’d trust us more,” Ace adds

“You are aware of how idiotic that is, right?” Sabo chimes in

“We have dealt with worse; you weren’t just playing with our lives, but with your own as well; you really think letting some dickwad play you with would be better than taking a chance of us handling him??” The freckled man exclaims

“Also, did you think for a second we wouldn’t find out? And that we wouldn’t get worried?” Ace adds

“I was hoping I would be good at hiding it…

“You know damn well you have always been lousy at hiding stuff,” Sabo comments sharply, but then his tone softens a bit

“But you should have just told us the truth, no matter how dangerous you thought it would be.”

Luffy nods.

“You didn’t need to carry this burden alone; we could have helped you.”

“I’m sorry “

“Just don’t do it again, okay?” Sabo replies as he pulls her into a big hug; Ace and Luffy join him in the hug, the three brothers letting their sister hug them for long, not letting go of their sister, Ace kissing her forehead

“We’re just worried about you; we don’t care if it’s dangerous; we love you,” Ace reassures her

“Now let me see it,” he said, gesturing for her hand

She hesitates for a moment, not wanting to give her hand to Ace; she turns towards the other brothers with pleading eyes, but they all nod for her to show the bruise, so she finally does, holding her sleeve back, and puts her hand over Ace’s, the bruise covered a large part of her arm up to just below the elbow with some bruises and marks on various parts of her arm, some older, others fresh

Ace glances up

“Sabo, how good of an attorney are you?” he says, a dangerous undertone in his words

“Ace! You are not killing him!” Reader hisses

Ace doesn’t react to her words; instead he speaks calmly and cooly

“No one said anything about killing; I was thinking more of a severe beating” he chuckles before grinning wickedly

“Let’s kick his ass” agrees Luffy

“Sabo, you’re an attorney; please talk some sense into them before they get into trouble with the law.”

Sabo looks from his brothers to her; he doesn’t seem particularly against the idea of hurting Enel; in fact, his eyes are glinting with delight at the idea

“We’re not breaking any laws; after all, it was self-defense. We saw him attacking you, and we stepped in using reasonable force to protect you and ourselves.”

“Isn’t that right, guys? we only had to use force after he came at us.”

“Sabo! You are not lying in court!” She pleads

“Who said anything about lying? All three of us are witnesses; it’s not lying if it’s the truth!” Ace says not breaking eye contact with his sister

“It’s not lying; we all reported the same story and told nothing but the truth.” Sabo nods excitedly

“Yeah!!” Luffy agrees with a nod; they all seemed to be one and the same when it came to taking care of someone who hurts someone as important as their sister

“Guys, please, think about this,” she says, turning to look at all of them

“Sabo, come on, there’s no way a judge would buy three brothers having to all launch at a guy just for self-defense!”

“Oh, but there was even an officer at the scene who witnessed it; he had to help us get the guy off you; the guy was just ruthless; we had no option but to all step in,” Sabo exclaimed, continuing his made-up scenario

“Zoro would be more than happy to join if he hears what the guy did” Luffy grins

She sighs, looking at her brothers, tears welling in her eyes

“You guys are unbelievable,” a teary laugh leaving her

“No one is getting away with hurting our family; come here!” Ace says, grinning and pulling her in for a noogie, his smile widening at her small shriek,

“You ass! What happened to protecting your little sister? That hurts!”

"You use that language in your classroom?! It's just a noogie!" he said with a grin, glad that even for just a few minutes, she could just relax with them, forgetting about Enel and the damage he had caused.

"it does not hurt!"

"Besides, you deserved it for not being honest with us; you're not getting away with keeping things from us," Sabo laughs

“You treat your kids this way?!” She retaliates

“No, I treat my students with kindness and patience, but you’re my lil sis, so I have to mess with you a little,” he teases

“And you totally deserve what you’re getting.”

She scoffs

“Patience and kindness”

“You heard me, only kindness and patience, but you’re not a first grader like they are, so you get a little extra care since you’re older and know more than they do,” he said, his movement getting faster

“Not to mention, we can’t put little Tama in a headlock as a form of discipline,” he adds

“I’m telling Tama his beloved teacher will give her a noogie!

“You wouldn’t!” Ace laughs

“Tama would never believe it! She loves me!”

“Im also telling your squad you let innocent civilians be tormented, Luffy!” She said escaping from the headlock and running out of her room

“Oh, don’t even think about it, Shishishi!” Luffy grabs her hand, stopping her on her tracks

“You guys keep using your jobs against me! Unreasonable force, I say!”

Luffy simply laughs

“You should have joined me when I called you to train with my squad!”

“You wanna talk about unreasonable force? Well, you would know all about that, wouldn’t you, sis?” Ace replies, grabbing her as Luffy tosses her back in the bed and wraps her in another headlock

Sabo shrugs as he watches, not even going to attempt to break this particular situation up

“Not my fault! I need to use more force; otherwise, it won't get through your numbskulls!” She screams, laughing joyously, the pain and suffering from her situation forgotten momentarily

“And Sabo! How could you! A man on law watching these two brutes commit battery!”

“Hey, a little headlock is hardly anything; we’ve done far worse.” Sabo chuckles

“A man of the law would know all the technicalities of self-defense,” he points out,

“And you’d be surprised by how much I can witness without being called to court; a few weeks ago, I was watching a student in a bar brawl, and he didn’t even get arrested, just a fine, so don’t be too worried about me, I won’t tell.”

She gasps mockingly

Luffy and Ace both chuckle

“We should have expected you’d put up the least fight, Shishi” Luffy chuckles

“You’ve always been the least physical of the three; you are so easy to tease,” Ace adds

Sabo chuckles, though he didn’t join their ganging up on their little sister

After finally being free from their teasing, she smiled at them

“Thank you”

The brothers all smile back at her

Ace squeezes her hand

“We’re just relieved that you’ll let us help you now.”

Luffy nods

“Don’t worry, we will kick Enel’s ass!”

“You didn't think I would let it slide, did you, little sister? The way I see it is that Enel picked a fight with you, which in turn means he picked a fight with all of us; I won’t let someone threaten my family without paying the consequences.”

I was honestly worried that this would just keep a grim tone all throughout it, but I managed to clutch at the end because the brothers wouldn’t just let her sister stay upset before they dealt with this asshole, and honestly, neither would I. I really struggle with Luffy being OC here, but I look back at all his speeches and serious moments and I think this is pretty spot on, if anything mellowed out

Taglist:

@Imaginarydreams

@amethystviolin

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gay-jewish-bucky · 1 year

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having a personality disorder is not what makes someone abusive or neglectful. your abuser having a personality disorder is correlation, not causation. condemning all people who have the same pd is sanist, ableist and stigmatizing. it doesn't change what happened to you (and even if it did, making someone suffer as proxy in revenge for the actions of another person is wrong) all it does is make you feel superior to people who are also struggling and are high risk for negative outcomes.

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yourtoradorasextendedwarranty · 2 months

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You are not ACAB. You're an asshole

SO this post has been a long time coming and I have sent a rant to several people to look over it for me just so I could get opinions. And most agreed with what I had to say. However it was mean, callous, and too "I'm ok being an shithead" for my taste.

If I am being 100% honest, people hate cops just to hate cops. It's not because there are cops that do wrong. It's just because they are told to/programmed to hate cops. Ok, so why do I say that?

Well a few reasons.

For the past 40 years *minimum* it has been a point of the media to showcase any time a cop does anything bad. Because what better way to "Reach the people" than to assuage them with a "Hello fellow Americans. Doesn't it suck with cops get on our ass about stuff".

Social media has been using bait for years in order to get more traffic to more links and articles. This alone has made rage baiting as an entirety more of an issue.

Because of both of the above, there was a time when alt media *at the time* and social media worked in tandem to constantly show off instances of cops being assholes or outright doing things that were illegal.

So what does this mean. Well it means that you are under a notion that is already provided to you. "Cops are ruthless bad guys that don't do anything for anyone at all".

Except that's not even remotely true. What is true is that often, any positive stories involving cops is buried or glossed over and only ever talked about in very local reports. What's more a cops job is to do the right thing. So when a cop does do the right thing, the understanding is that they are not meant to receive praise. However, that is lopsided in how it works. It more or less means that you are under the LARGEST of microscopes, and if you fuck up at ALL, then you end up as a youtube video that reinforces that "Cops are bad guys" or "Cops are stupid and annoying". Rather than the truth which is that cops themselves are human beings.

Now. I can already see the comment from the shitheads. "ACAB EXISTS BECAUSE-" Shut it. I don't care. Unlike most of you I understand nuance. And more than that, I've had poor run-in's with cops. I have also had to work along side them as private security as well. And my mother, who's not shy about telling people they fucked up, worked as Dispatch and as a Secretary for the PD in the small city we lived in. "Oh well then your brainwashed", you can say that but it does not make you right.

Unlike you, clearly I'm able to think critically about subjects where as you are not. Am I a "Back the Blue" cultist? Absolutely not. I'm solely in the camp of Abolish Unions and hold officers to account for what they do wrong.

However, having said that, Cops duty to uphold the law sometimes manifests in ways that we don't like. Like Uvalde. The cops were in their rights to stop the shooter, but the top brass would have decimated any officer that decided to not follow his order of standing down. I don't think that's ok. Hell that entire chain of command should have faced a lawsuit. But where they DID properly enforce the law, is stopping parents from going in. Because had a parent gone by cops in order to stop the shooter, at that point, it legally could have been considered vigilantism.

Regardless of the moral implications of that, fact is, that's the truth.

So why am I making this post? Mostly because ignorant people exist in this world and their only reason for living at all is just to hate. "All cops are bastards"? Are you so sure? I wonder how many people in the US over the past 100+ years have been saved by cops. I wonder how many kids have been rescued from abuse. I wonder how many women have been saved from rape. I wonder how many kids have been save from gang violence or drug dealing.

Saying, "All cops are bastards" is no different than saying, "Yes all men". Functionally you are saying the same thing. And while you may say, "Hey that's not the same one is an immutable trait and the other is a job", to which I'll say, sure. Except you are making a gross generalization. Which IS the same. And ignores every single decent, good, great cop that exists out there. And every single good cop that has ever existed.

In my last post talking about this, I stated that people that are ACAB don't really hate cops. They just hate that they can't break the law without consequences. And I still believe that, but let me add a bit of nuance to that.

Most of the people that hate cops are programmed to hate cops. Because, like the media does, it picks something that will engage you, and will put it in front of you any way it knows how to. There are also a lot of people out there that hate cops because they can't break the law. That's also very true.

However there is another group that exists and it's Anarchists. Now, I have followers and people that I follow that are Anarchists. And while I view them as different from Tankies, Fundamentally they share the same, "Ideal Utopia" idea. Which is that, "Under my ideals, the world would be better". Except it won't be. It will be warlords and dictators forming groups. Assuming that we don't get taken over by Islamic Extremists, China, or the UN. Their ideals aside, they hate "The State" in all it's forms. And if you are fine with any form of "State" they will quite literally go off on a tirade of why you are a bootlicker. *Sigh*

Now, the last of these groups is just people that either 1) Do not understand what goes into being a cop and just hates them based on baseless notions, or 2) People that have had bad run-in's with cops and take that notion out on ALL cops.

So for these last two sets, things are difficult to deal with. Because they will go out of their way often to not care about how hard it is to be a cop. What do I mean?

Well for starters, cops are expected to be perfect at all times.

Perfect Aim

Perfect knowledge of all laws both federal and local

Perfect judgement at all times

Perfect execution of force at all times

Perfect response at all times

Perfect awareness of surroundings at all times

Perfect ability to listen to the law but also not piss off people breaking the law

And I could go on. Humans are fundamentally imperfect. They always will be. So expecting a cop to be perfect is like asking your SO where they want to eat every day for a month and them knowing right away. Unless you're a LIAR it's not going to happen. Same such, cops can't be perfect. Combine that with having to both uphold the law AND be sure to follow the law at the same time, then combine that with the dangers of the job, the fact that human beings are ANIMALS that are violent by nature, and unpredictable on top of which, with use of force laws. And yeah. You don't have a good time. It becomes a huge issue of people that are like, "Why didn't just just tase him?" or "Why didn't you just shot the gun out of his hand" or better yet, "He only had a knife and was threatening to kill someone. Why'd did you have to shoot him, you are not judge jury and executioner."

And that's where you are both right and wrong.

Right in the fact that they are not a Jury. Wrong about the fact that they are not acting in their capacity to judge a situation, and execute those that are too great a risk to subdue. And if you ever talk to a person that does MMA, subduing a person is not as easy as you think. More over, Tasers are not considered, "non-lethal". In a lot of cases they are considered lethal because you are delivering a shock, meant to incapacitate someone. Meaning that you have the risk of permanently injuring them, OR killing them if their heart stops. Hell you could also in theory turn them into a vegetable.

But sadly no one considers all of these things. And only people familiar with cops and how their jobs work, know any of this.

Am I justifying bad, or even evil cops with this post? No. I think cops fundamentally need more training. I also think that they need frequent psychological evaluations to see the effect of the work on them. Because some of the things you see in your capacity as an officer can be gruesome. Dead bodies. People that have been mutilated. Dead kids from drugs or gang shootings. And the list goes on and on and on.

Recently I made a post talking about how since the summer of 2020, there have been less good cops. And fact is, because of the 2020 riots, a lot of good cops did quit their jobs. That's a fact. Many actually put in for early retirement. And not because "They were being held to account". No. It was because they were told, "If you do your job, we will riot outside your station. Firebomb your cars and homes, and we will find a way to railroad you into prison".

So what do we see in NY and LA? Car break ins. Looting. Beatings in the streets. Cops that will literally stand down while people are being hurt. Why? Because why the hell would anyone be a cop when you are under a microscope SO LARGE, that even the SMALLEST twitch in the wrong direction could end your career and possibly your life.

It's easy to say, "Yeah I'd stop those looters and assaulters". Sure. Right up until the are a protected class. Then enjoy your media crucifixion, loss of work and likely stint in jail. As well as your family getting death threats for years to come. So given all this, I made a point that a lot of hires over the last 3 years have probably been scraping the bottom of the barrel. Because in truth, knowing all the above, why WOULD anyone be a cop? Certainly there are still good cops. But a lot of the good ones quit.

What's more, Now a days it's better as a cop to just NOT enforce the law. Because why risk everything I mentioned. You protect the law and you make the conservatives happy but piss off the woke. And the woke currently more or less control law and media. Good luck getting shanked in jail. If you don't uphold the law, you piss off people who want you to enforce it but you probably get to live another day.

At that point you may say, "OK so why be a cop at all then", and the answer is easy. It's a job. And it pays. Why excel at all when you are expected to be a bastion of perfection? What's that? Didn't use the PERFECT amount of force? Death Penalty. Oh? You shot a guy that pulled a gun on you and you didn't just take the shots to the chest? Well clearly you deserve to be put in jail for the rest of your life.

Cops are treated like they are supposed to be absolutely perfect at all times and it's stupid. I HATE police unions mind you. But you know what I hate more. People that have no idea the risk to their lives that cops are put through day to day just for putting on the badge. The fact that cops NEED wiggle room within the law in order to enforce it.

Remember "Hands up don't shoot"? Yeah. So do I. I also remember that it was a fucking lie, and that there are people to this day that still believe that lie. And if not for Police Unions, he might have rotted in jail for the rest of his life. There is no PEFECT in this life. Not for cops, not for anyone. Cops are not superheroes. They don't swing in on a web shooter and punch the bad guy JUST hard enough to knock him out without killing him. And with morality as fucked up as it is in the west, even just in the US, Law enforcement is in a no win situation. At all times.

But I want to find every person that has ever been saved by cops, and force you to tell those people that all cops are bad. And tell them about how whatever they were saved from doesn't matter because "ALL cops are bad". Tell the women that were possibly saved from rape, "You should have just been raped. Cops are all evil." Or tell the kid that was saved from the person that kidnapped them, "Yeah no, you should have just been a sex slave. Cops are bastards and clearly they didn't WANT to help you". Stop making assessments about ALL of any group of people. Because the likelihood that you'll be right is near zero.

There are good cops. And there are bad cops. Police Unions need heavy reformation. Accountability needs to actually be able to happen. And people need to understand how hard cops actually have it. All of these things can be true at the same time. And none of it is justifying evil or bad cops or even ones that don't enforce the law. It's a nuanced topic. And as such, it should be treated so.

#discourse #discussion

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bioethicists · 8 days

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as someone who was '''misdiagnosed''' with a personality disorder, it does seriously peeve me when other ppl (rightfully!) take up the cause that their PD diagnosis (usually bpd/eupd) was an act of medical abuse/neglect/misogyny without making any systemic critique of personality disorders as a category. i understand that it takes a lot more confidence + critical analysis to look at the diagnosis itself rather than just how it was applied to you, but there are far too many ppl who are uncritically accepting "well, there are some people who DEFINITELY do deserve to be diagnostically labeled as dramatic/manipulative/attention-seeking, but it was really traumatic when it happened to me. because it was wrong when it happened to me."

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bonefall · 3 months

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are there any bb!cats with schizophrenia or that regularly experience psychosis? people absolutely suck about mental illness so like. seeing characters like me going thru life and being treated like people and not monsters for something out of their control never fails to put a smile on my face! thank you for all the research and effort you put into making sure your disabled cats are not only believable but human. pd: cinderheart with bpd is an extremely based headcanon

Not yet but it's on my radar, plus NPD. The reason why I feel so unflappably confident with BPD is because I know and love people who have it, and I hate that I don't see any characters who are like them! So I feel like I'm really good at handling it, and knowing what's wanted in portrayals of it. It feels very personally important to me.

Pair that with the fact I write BB!Clans as canonically struggling with ableism and all these being so heavily stigmatized irl, I've gotta be REALLY careful with NPD and psychosis. I'm less connected to them so personally and I don't want to accidentally strike a nerve, you get me?

That said... I got an ask a while back that I'd been thinking about a lot, basically asking me about how Clan Culture would see psychosis in the first place. I've actually always been fascinated by how deeply schizophrenia is affected by the culture of the afflicted, so I've been idly thinking about that for a while without sharing those thoughts.

OH WAIT hangon let me explain some stuff about Schizophrenia and psychosis for people in the audience!!

Schizophrenia used to be diagnosed in subtypes before 2013. This is no longer accurate! A lot like Autism, it's a spectrum of symptoms that affect people differently. It's a cognitive disorder that messes with rational and organized thinking, and that can express in all sorts of ways.

One of the symptoms is hallucinations. It's The Famous symptom of it, but it's not actually something you NEED to have to be Schizophrenic. Not all people who are having hallucinations or delusions are Schizophrenic, either! I want to include an OCD character of some kind who experiences some mild auditory hallucinations, actually. The type where it's just random mumbling.

Delusions and hallucinations aren't the same thing Delusions are false beliefs and hallucinations are false experiences. An example of a delusion is, "If I don't click my pen three times, my family will die." An example of a hallucination is hearing voices.

PEOPLE WITH PSYCHOSIS ARE FAR MORE LIKELY TO BE THE VICTIMS OF VIOLENCE THAN TO COMMIT IT Feel like this is common knowledge in this space, and especially within my own following since I make a lot of art about mental illness and awareness, but it's always worth repeating.

So anyway

If you compare psychosis between cultures, you actually end up seeing VERY different expressions of the hallucinations. For example, in some cultures, voice hallucinations tend to say things that are negative or abusive, while other cultures hear significantly more positive, playful voices.

This doesn't mean that they're always less distressing. For example, the study above points out that Nigerian students (reported to hear lots of playful hallucinations) experience as much distress as Dutch students (tend to experience negative, abusive voices) during their psychotic episodes.

Still, there does seem to be a correlation with "less distress" and cultures that encourage psychotic people to see their hallucinations as positive, personal things. Even more interestingly, distress seems to be correlated with income and individualism in a culture.

But it doesn't stop there, the findings are fascinating.

Delusions of grandeur are rare in societies that discourage that sort of social mobility, reflecting social values.

Cultures that believe religious experiences are specific experiences-- like certain smells, temperatures, or sounds, will see those reflected in psychotic episodes

Yet, "voices" seem to be something seen across ALL cultures studied. Though some have more prevalence of random sounds and mumbling than others, they all share some expression of "voices that say stuff."

SO all that to say-- if I include psychosis it's definitely going to be trying to take the culture of each Clan into account, and I need to do a lot more research into what sorts of things people with schizophrenia and various types of psychosis want to see more often.

#psychosis #neurodivergence #bone babble

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radiostaticsmile · 2 months

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On Alters and Personality Disorders

Disclaimer that I am not a researcher and this is based on my understanding of different studies and of my own personal experience being a system with personality disorders and knowing systems with personality disorders

Often I see the question can on alter have a personality disorder that other alters do not. It seems to be hotly debated without a real answer, most people just extrapolate because studies on that specifically are hard to find and combine knowledge of systems and personality disorders but be used to make an inference. I am going to be doing the same thing here,

However one thing that I have not seen anyone mention that has greatly helped my understanding of this topic is the idea which has begun to exist relatively recently within psychology that personality disorders are really all the same thing at its core, a disorder which occurs in response to trauma, and the specific symptoms and disorder you will be diagnosed with is dependant on which survival methods worked best for the traumatizing situation that the person was in.

For example in situations where it was dangerous and likely to get the victim hurt by their abuser to care about the abusers feelings they will likely develop a PD with low empathy like NPD or ASPD. For situations where avoiding the abuser was possible and the best method something like AVPD may occur. And those who need to be highly attuned to their abusers emotional state and weather they get hurt or not depends on how the abuser is feeling may develop BPD. This is an over simplification but you get the picture.

Dissociative disorders are also caused by trauma. And abuse is complicated, so different survival strategies may work at different times, and using a method that works sometimes will actively get you abused more at other times. For singlets this can cause more than one personality disorder with symptoms that mix and overlap. For dissociative systems, this can mean different alters present different symptoms. Alters will often form because the system needs different survival strategies in different situations, and different alters will fill those roles. So it makes sense some alters will have symptoms of a personality disorder that another alter does not have. One alter may fit enough criteria for a diagnoses of a specific personality disorder while others may be missing key aspects of the disorder, so in tis way I do think it is possible. You can say they are just symptom holders and the whole system has it, or you can say just they have it, its really just arguing semantics at that point, since it is fairly clear within the community that many systems have alters who meet diagnostic criteria while other alters in the same system do not.

I do think it is possible for an alter to have a specific personality disorder that is not system wide, because specific personality disorders are not really separate from each other, but rather which symptoms do you present, and different alters present different symptoms. However, I also think that if any alter has a personality disorder, everyone in the system would most likely have a personality disorder of some kind (unless they have a highly specialized role or are a fragment that would prevent this, but the system as a whole would still be personality disordered). This is because the trauma changing the brain that created the personality disorders affects the whole system. It can affect different alters differently, and some specific symptom sets may be contained to only a few alters, but being personality disordered in general would affect everyone, or at least that is what I have come to believe based on my experience and research.

It also seems like just based on what I have seen that alters will frequently gravitate around a few presentations/specific disorders that show up in several alters, like a system of six may have 5 with BPD, and 3 of those also have NPD (meaning 2 with both), more likely than every alter having an extremely different disorder presentation from each other, and then varying symptoms between alters within those subsets of symptoms. This however is not based on any research and is just personal experience since this topic really hasn't been studied enough.

This is not meant to invalidate or dictact any one else's experience or beliefs around the topic but I haven't seen anyone discuss the theory that personality disorders are a single disorder with highly varied presentation and I wanted to add that idea to the conversation.

#npd symptom holder #system #did #plural system #osdd #personality disorder #symptom holder #symptom holders #essay #now broadcasting #personality disorders

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eclipse15 · 1 year

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Actual System Red Flags, Not Just Ableist “They *insert average system experience* 🥺” Shit

We see this mainly on TikTok, but our TikTok is personal so we won’t post it there. Here are some ACTUAL system red flags that let you know something is up.

DISCLAIMER: THIS DOES NOT MEAN THESE PEOPLE AREN’T ACTUAL SYSTEMS 100% OF THE TIME, BUT IT MEANS EITHER THAT OR THEY’RE MISINFORMED

Endogenic/any other non-traumagenic/mixed origins

Systems may split due to something that may not seem traumatic to another, but it is very important to keep in mind window of tolerance. They may also split seemingly due to something random, but it’s most likely due to outside trauma. This eliminates mixed origin.

Let us be clear, endogenic systems and anything non-traumagenic do not exist. It has been proven time and time again that systems, OSDD, P-DID or DID, form due to trauma and trauma alone. “But it’s not in the DSM-V or ICD-11!” The ICD-11 and DSM-V can be and are flawed. The DSM states that you must be underweight and/or isolated to have ARFID. Both books classify autism as a disorder, not a disability.

This is not to say all who claim to be endos/mixed origin are actually those things. They could be traumagenic and just not know. Either way, it’s a huge red flag.

Claims to have polyfrag/complex/highly complex OSDD or polyfrag/complex/highly complex P-DID

Let’s get one thing clear, polyfragmented does not mean 100 or more alters.

Maybe controversial but it is impossible to be polyfrag OSDD/P-DID. Dissociation is a scale. On the lowest end you have your average joe, on the highest end you have HC-DID/a TBMC or RAMCOA polyfrag system. Unlike autism and schizophrenia, it is not a spectrum. This means if you have OSDD or P-DID, you cannot experience complexity or high complexity in a system. It may appear that you have OSDD or P-DID, but it could be because of a subsystem or sidesystem. This is actually common in C-DID and eleven more common in HC-DID.

Note: Sidesystems are exclusive to HC-DID as they are a set of programmed alters, usually with the same program. Even if you have C-DID, you cannot have sidesystems, you would have a subsystem.

Claims RAMCOA and TBMC systems don’t exist/fake claims them

RAMCOA: ritual abuse mind control organized abuse.

TBMC: Torture based mind control or trauma based mind control.

The fact that some people believe this greatly saddens me. The denial of RAMCOA and TBMC is giving the ritual abusers, mind controllers and organized abusers power. It’s exactly what programming is for, for them to not get caught and for the victim(s) to be at the mercy of the abusers. It is real, it does exist and systems form due to this. This is not to say programming cannot fail and a system is not formed. This is to say that it’s does happen, and that it is vile to claim otherwise.

Claims introject heavy systems and systems with PDs don’t/can’t exist and fakeclaims them

PD: Personality disorder

Personal note, but as a system with autism and introjects, these people just piss me off.

There is no evidence stating that systems can only have one mental disorder, including a PD. In fact, the only mental disorders that a system cannot scientifically possess is another dissociative disorder in addition to the disorder that makes them a system (this does not include BPD as it is not a dissociative disorder, it just has dissociation). For example, one cannot have OSDD-3 and HC-DID, or DID and DPDR. They may have symptoms of another dissociative disorder, but this is because of their already existing one.

As for introjects, it is proven that systems of all bodily ages, shapes and sizes can possess introjects. Autistic systems and systems with ADHD are more likely to have introjects as well. We’ve found that when somebody fakeclaims a fictive heavy system, they’re usually doing it from a place of viewing autistic systems and ADHD systems as impossible. Pretty ableist :/

Supports any of these

I think this is pretty obvious but just because you yourself don’t fake claim introject heavy systems, systems with a PD or C/HC-DID systems, that doesn’t mean you can’t support people who do. Same with Endos/mixed origin. If you don’t do those things or aren’t one yourself but you support it that makes you almost as bad or just as bad. If you’re wondering why these things are bad, just look at what we’ve stated above.

Those are all of our system red flags, let us know if you have any other actual red flags. Thank you for reading!!!!

#⭐️#did alter #did osdd #osddid #endos dni #did system #did introject #did fragment #actually did #system

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narcpocalypse · 2 months

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Speaking of that post I hope it's ok for me to send this ask in!

I have some OCs myself that also have NPD(+other PDs as well, like ASPD AND BPD for example) and I was wondering how to realistically portray NPD without unintentionally stigmatizing/demonizing it?

*also some are also POC as well and are my Elder Scrolls OCs also, if this helps.*

Feel free to delete this ask, if you don't feel like answering!

AGHHH MY FIRST ASK!!!!!!!!/pos

Fair warning, this is going to be a LONGGGG ass post and it will mention ableism towards NPDers. I want to make sure I cover as much as possible. If you have NPD and want to add anything, pls do so in a reblog or the comments! I am also super delirious so if what I say makes no sense I'm so sorry 😭

I think a full, completely in depth understanding is the key to not writing something stigmatizing/demonizing. It sounds obvious, but in the case of NPD, there's so much misinformation so I am hoping this post can guide you in the writing process. You never know what little thing can cause accidental mischaracterization.

This is a super important topic for me because honestly, I'm trying to figure out the same as someone with NPD myself, even with all the info available. I feel like there's so much grey area because so much is still unknown about the disorder (fuck the psych system/narc abuse believers). A lot of us have to go from our personal experiences and figure things out on our own, which brings me to my first topic:

Self Diagnosis And The Criteria!!!!!!!!

A LOT of us are self diagnosed, including myself. Whether you're officially diagnosed or not, most of us can agree the DSM5 is booty ass. I bring up self diagnosis specifically because due to the DSM5 being shitty, it's suuuper difficult to get diagnosed or even want a diagnosis. I personally don't want one.

If that's a theme you want to bring up in your work, I would definitely follow blogs here that break down the diagnostic criteria and re-define it in a realistic way. Having this is super important because the DSM5 is MADDD confusing even if it wasn't ableist.

Your characters might resonate with that confusion and even anger. Rage is such a prominent emotion with us narcissists, so its highly encouraged you tap into that. The stigma is so impactful to most of us and personally keeps me hidden.

If you went off the official criteria, you could innocently and accidentally write an ableist trope based off the DSM5. For example, the DSM5 has a very vague and "I do this just because I can blah blah blah and there's a name for it" narrative of narcissists. There's no nuance. They state accurate symptoms but don't accurately explain why we have them. Without context, it makes our intentions ultimately one size fits awful.

Here are some resources that have been super helpful to me!

Some extra specific things I keep in mind when writing my narcissistic characters:

-“Bad behavior” is such an important phrase to emphasize when writing narcissists negative symptoms and being mindful on how you approach the impact. Make sure that phrase is clear, even if they will not redeem themselves and are a piece of garbage. They did xyz because of bad behavior due to symptoms, they hurt john doe because of bad behavior due to symptoms. They make the conscious choice not to change their bad behavior because abc or they make the conscious choice to do better because blah blah blah.

-Depending on what communication style you want two or more characters to have, make sure the outcomes are accurate based off of symptoms. My examples don't explain narcissists as a whole, but they are based off of my symptoms:

Lack of Communication: Increase in superiority symptoms, increase in rage, increase in invalidation and inferiority feelings. Other parties, specifically egotypicals may have a misconception of the narcissist and believe their symptoms are how they really are and can't be redeemed due to stigma. In the situation involving a narcissist however, in my experience when this happens I'm always so confused. Nothing makes sense and nobody is explaining anything to me. I need outside perspective as to why my actions are wrong and lack of communication will sink me deeper into my delusions. Communication is so important coming from the outside perspective to snap me out of my spiral. Lack of communication on my end will cause me to bottle up my feelings, convinced I’m better alone. Not explaining my intentions (or lack there of, to be completely blunt and vulnerable.) to someone I hurt can cause them so much more pain too. I don't want to hurt anyone, and even if I don't FEEL sorry, I can acknowledge I don't want the people I care for to be hurt by my bad actions.

Proper Communication: Honestly in my case, usually the damage I caused isn’t forgiven however rebuilding that trust becomes so much easier accepting that and opening up to the person/people I hurt. The narcissist usually knows they can prevent xyz going forward, and the other party is prepared on how to handle the situation in case it happens again. In my experience, communication is super beneficial in terms of receiving supply too. ESPECIALLY when the other person involved is also a narcissist, they know that pain of not receiving praise/admiration and we can understand each other moving forward.

Other narcissists I encourage you give your experience w this too bc I have seen very diff ones!

-If you want to implement characters who are ableist towards the narcissist, some things I would do are:

Show the narcissists internal monologue after the trauma and put your main focus on their emotions, the ableist person’s actions second. The weight of their words will be shown more in the trauma response, less in the moment (although super important). Focus the context on the narc crash, anxiousness, surprise, grandiosity overcompensation, etc.

Have other characters defend the narcissist, preferably being other narcissists because we are the ones who understand each other the most and back each other up no matter what

Show the importance of proper education and lack of education

Ask yourself how this is relevant to the plot and your character/characters

-Ask yourself, why does/doesn't my character want to be redeemed? Is it a symptom or is it genuine? Do they want to do better but don't recognize it? Why don't they recognize it? What symptoms are holding them back from xyz (social connections, self care etc.).?

Examples of answers to these questions:

My character doesn't want to be redeemed because they are convinced they are justified in their actions. They genuinely believe they did the right thing and need time to get out of that mindset. What's stopping them from getting out of that mindset is the delusion they are stuck in. Working on their trauma triggers can help lessen the blow and onset of psychosis. If they recognize they are wrong, my character is the type of person to crash and have suicidal urges. There is a slow build up before the crash that spirals into madness. What may help is getting supply from their friends/partners reassuring them that recognizing their bad actions are a first step followed by praise for things outside of the situation to bring them back to a solid baseline or narc high.

My character has a hard time socializing because when having an episode of grandiosity, they feel like they are better than everyone and no one is at their level. In episodes of insecurity, they feel like they don't deserve friends because they feel worthless. This is followed by perfectionism and seeking unwanted friendships, only to self-destruct and hurt those around them. Their ego impacts everything they do.

-SHAMEEEE is one of the most important emotions (in my experience) to write about so pls make that an important part of how your character views themselves!

-I know I have been only focusing on negative aspects, but also do highlight the positive aspects. For me, NPD has motivated me to work on myself. It isn’t the healthiest way, but given my circumstance, it is the healthiest I can do right now. Even my most wild and delusional thoughts can lead to great opportunities for self improvement. Thinking I’ll become famous? Gave myself tools to work on my executive dysfunction and be consistent with a project I love. Narc highs are also absolutely incredible. Finding folks who understand me and receiving praise has kept me going. I genuinely feel listened to. Narcissists are some of the nicest people you will ever meet because they know what it feels like to hate themselves. No matter how little empathy some of us have, that doesn’t mean we can’t acknowledge one another (even if my symptoms make me feel so singular in my experiences/contradict the point of acknowledging others).

More info to represent different kinds of NPDers:

Some common comorbidities are:

Autism Spectrum

Bipolar Disorder

Schizophrenia Spectrum

DID/OSDD

All Cluster B Disorders

Eating Disorders and Addictions

So many of us are autistic. SO MANY. This small survey statistic doesn’t scratch the surface but it’s important to look at!

As an autistic person myself, I feel like a lot of the trauma I faced growing up highly contributed to the development of NPD. I was othered, shunned, invalidated and shamed for just existing. Still am. That made me overcompensate with erratic attempts to be wanted and loved and just acknowledged in any way possible. I want to be SEEN.

If anyone wants an in depth post sharing my experiences with bipolar disorder and NPD I will absolutely do so if asked too!

How NPD affects my gender itself, dysphoria and sexuality:

In my experience as a fat trans man, a lot of my dysphoria is rooted in narcissism, internalized fatphobia and internalized toxic masculinity. I want to be the ideal boyfriend that is praised for existing. My male privilege definitely contributes to that want and I can acknowledge and dislike that part of myself. I expect this certain level of respect for being a man without realizing it sometimes and make sure to hold myself accountable when doing so. My dysphoria makes me feel inferior to other men because I don't "pass" and I feel the need to compete against them. The insecurity is consuming me and I do my best to be aware if I cross any lines.

What I have noticed about gender and sexuality in NPDers is that a lot yall are aroace and nonbinary! Like based off of my survey alone and people I know!

I asked one of my mutuals if it wanted to share his experiences of being a POC with NPD and it agreed!! He wanted to stay anonymous (aka super duper awesomely cool and mysterious) so I’ll just be posting the ss of what he said!

I do not have much to say on the response from my mutual because I feel like what it said speaks for itself and because we've spoken in private about the topic already! If you want to write an Asian character with NPD, this is really useful information!!!! One day I will make a post elaborating on being a POC with NPD myself. But, for now, this will help you understand an experience from an Asian perspective.

I hope this post wasn't all over the place and makes sense, if you have any more questions please ask away!

#npd awareness #writing tips #writing characters with npd #writing npd #npd solidarity #ask giles #narcposting #narcissistic personality disorder #npd #actually narcissistic #actually npd #actually cluster b #npd safe #cluster b #cluster b safe #narc

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thatnarcissisticfeel · 3 months

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hey... i mean this in a completely respectful way and i'm sorry if it comes off as otherwise, but i'm genuinely curious about all the anti narc abuse content on your blog... while i fully believe that it's possible for pwNPD to not abuse people, i also fully believe that ppl can be extremely traumatized by pwNPD (two of my friends have mothers with NPD and have extreme trauma stemming from said mothers NPD traits) so i'm genuinely just curious what exactly you mean by "narc abuse"??? i'm really sorry if i offend anyone but i'm just- genuinely curious and hoping to learn more about the disorder because i've had a lot of pwNPD in my life and wanna know more about how they work, how to treat them, etc

Hi! No worries, I accept all questions that are in good faith, and if i can be honest I really admire your desire to learn more, AND I admire the fact that you're so candid about your current feelings about pwNPD. I'd much rather have a person who is willing to learn more after having had bad experiences with pwNPD, than a person who doesn't know anything about NPD and just inherently assumes the worst of us.

But to answer your question: I don't think there's a single neurodivergent person out there - narcissist or otherwise - who denies the fact that their disorder/disability can make them act in ways that they wouldn't act if they were neurotypical. However, no one is abusive/rude/toxic/whatever SOLELY because of their mental illness or PD or disability. For instance, I've had some friends who were really rude to me due to the fact that their Autism makes social cues difficult, but they didn't "autistically abuse" me or anything, and I don't "autistically abuse" people when I myself fumble with social cues due to my own Autism.

(Obviously 'not understanding social cues' isn't comparable to abuse anyway, but you get what I'm trying to say, right?)

While some pwNPD might indeed be "bad people" - for lack of a better term - due to their NPD, that isn't the case for the vast majority of pwNPD, so terms like "narcissist abuse" or equating narcissism with abuse hurts all pwNPD and further stigmatizes the disorder. Even the people whose toxic or abusive behavior can be contributed to their NPD, it's still harmful to call it narcissist abuse, bc it implies that it's ONLY the fact that they have a personality disorder that makes them abuse people, and thus it's only possible for them to stop abusing people if they recover (please note PDs are really hard if not impossible to make a full recovery from).

Also, there's not really any specific flavor of abuse that's exclusive to pwNPD. Like, what does narc abuse mean? That you're a selfish, entitled asshole who constantly puts other people down to feel better about yourself? Well, there's plenty of people without NPD that are like that! Does it mean that you're blind to your loved one's feelings and always prioritize yourself over them and don't care when your loved one is hurting? That's not exclusive to NPD either! Most "narc abuse" behaviors can really be attributed to ANY abuser, regardless of neurotype. I'd even argue that there's more people withOUT npd that do those behaviors than there are people with.

I hope that helped, let me know if you have any more questions!

#narc safe #narc abuse

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moriphile · 2 months

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Intro Post

Permission Given to Send Me Literally Anything in an Ask I Love Reading Your Random Thoughts and Comments

I'm going by Mori or M here for anonymity's sake, just like the little weirdo I love.

18+

He/they/it pronouns, no preference

AFAB & GNC transmasc

Call me a theyfab and I will eat you

Aegosexual, omnisexual, demiromantic

This is a blog dedicated to my struggles with paraphilias and PDs, as well as information surrounding them. I have multiple of both. As for PDs, this includes ASPD, NPD, BPD, and AVPD. My BPD is... especially severe. Routinely fucks up my life. As for paraphilias, I have more than I can count, but one is part of the Big 3; I am a staunchly anti-contact and non-offending 🗺️. I speak pretty openly about it because I'm tired of being vilified for it. Though other paraphilias will also be spoken about.

I am a survivor of CSA and grooming from multiple people (both contact and non contact), as well as an extremely mentally and verbally abusive household. I may speak on my trauma here but you have no right to ask me about it. Do not.

Feel free to ask me anything (except the previously stated). I'm an open book and love spreading information and sharing my experiences. There's no such thing as a stupid question as long as it's asked in earnest. Worst case scenario, I don't answer or point you to someone who can.

P.S. Before you say it, I am already in therapy. And am also in school to become a therapist. Double whammy.

Masterposts

MAP Resources

Common Tags

#m.beingpissyagain ; My more serious thoughts. Mostly unfiltered. It will also include important information from others.

Nested tags:

#m.pers info ; Information on personality disorders as a whole. #m.aspd info ; Information on ASPD. #m.npd info ; Information on NPD. #m.bpd info ; Information on BPD. #m.avpd info ; Information on AVPD.

#m.para info ; Information on paraphilias as a whole. #m.big 3 info ; Information on the big 3 as a whole. #m.pdf info ; Information on pedophilia.

#m.cptsd info ; Information on c-ptsd.

#m.kink info ; Information on kink as a whole.

#m.asks ; Asks. That's it lol. They usually don't fit anywhere else.

#m.positivity ; Positivity posts! About a variety of things.

#m.thedemonswon ; My paraphilic thoughts. Almost entirely unfiltered. All posts will be marked as mature, but I don't generally provide specific CWs. Mute this tag if you don't want the graphic shit.

#m.venting ; Me venting when it's not also something important. I will not mark these posts as mature or provide specific CWs, as I find it disrespectful to request people censor themselves when venting. Mute this tag if this bothers you.

#m.fuckassery ; My random weird thoughts. Have fun trying to make sense of them.

#m.rb ; My random reblogs. Usually memes or things I find funny.

#m.discourse ; Because I can't stay away.

Content Warnings

I will talk about a wide variety of disturbing and uncomfortable topics here, usually untagged. I don't like to censor myself. These content warnings include but are not limited to:

Paraphilias (duh). If you don't want to see anything related to 🗺️s, mute #🍸.

Mental disorders, heavily focused on PDs.

Intrusive fantasies & thoughts.

Abuse and trauma of... all kinds really. Child abuse or otherwise.

Idolization and romanticization of horrible things and people (yes, I'm aware of it. No, I can't help it. Piss off).

Honestly, if you can think of it, it could probably be on this list. Just be aware and cautious I guess.

Stances and DNI

I do not have many boundaries, but they are very harsh and I do not appreciate them being disrespected. I will block you.

Stances

Pro recovery (specific views in link), psych critical.

Very pro kink.

Cluster b abuse does not exist, you were emotionally abused.

Transandrophobia is just as real and harmful as transmisogyny.

Contradictory labels are great. Go be hot and sexy.

MOGAI, LIOM, and xenogenders are great. Go be hot and sexy.

Otherkins, therians, etc. are great. Go be hot and sexy.

Singlet and thus divorced from syscource. If you're chill, we're chill.

Anti-contact (for paras that would infringe upon consent) and absolutely unwilling to engage in discourse on this viewpoint.

Proship, darkship, comship, etc.

Pro para.

Anti-radqueer and transID.

RPF of minors is, by law, CSEM.

Don't approach me with discourse. If I want to engage, I will.

DNI

Minors. I swear to god do not interact with me.

Thinspo. It's a genuine trigger.

I don't particularly care who interacts with my blog (besides minors and thinspo). I also don't particularly care if I'm on your DNI or not (unless you're anti-MAP, in which case I will block you for my own safety), I'm gonna interact anyway. Feel free to block me if that bothers you.

However, if you're touting harmful ideology to yourself or others (AAMs seeking MAPs, MAPs seeking AAMs, pro-cs, etc), I am more than willing to report you.

Reblogging random art sideblog: @bsdposting

Writing sideblog: @degens-paradise

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antianakin · 2 months

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Anidala and the possibility of Love Bombing

I’ve recently been introduced to the concept of love bombing, a form of emotional abuse that can be experienced in any stage of a relationship but often occurs in the earliest stages and often used by those with narcissistic traits or PD, and I think this might have occurred in the earliest stages of Padme and Anakin’s relationship and continued into the later stages.

To start I would like to say that I am working from an understanding of love bombing based on reading a few articles and learning about one specific case IRL, but applying signs of love bombing to Padme and Anakin’s relationship (mostly focusing on AOTC, because I haven’t rewatched TCW in a while and don’t know which episodes most of the examples that come to mind are from), this is what I’ve come up with.

1.Excessive and overwhelming attention and compliments.

Anakin pretty much showers her with this throughout AOTC, regardless of her boundaries and discomfort.

2. Excessive following of your whereabouts.

As Padme’s bodyguard in AOTC, Anakin has constant access to Padme’s location and her as an individual, which means he can continue putting forward advances regardless of whether she says no or not throughout the early stages of their relationship. Later, although I doubt it was intentionally on his part, he removes her from any authority she had over him by taking him with her to Tatooine and Geonosis, which prevents her from any option of using her position to override his advances and enforce her boundaries.

3. Ignoring your boundaries.

Anakin repeatedly ignores Padme telling him she’s uncomfortable and displaying discomfort at his advances in AOTC. He later disregards her commitment to her work as a senator in TCW.

4. (I’m going to put a bunch together for this one) Intense declarations of love, the giving of extravagant and unnecessary gifts, and emphasising that your relationship is ‘special’.

When they are going into the Geonosis arena, (although Padme initiates it and is the one actively declaring love in this scene) Anakin uses the opportunity to emphasise their relationship as special, saying: “You love me?! I thought we decided not to fall in love. That we would be forced to live a lie. That it would destroy our lives…”.

Which follows on from Anakin’s own declaration of love earlier in the movie, which would be nothing if not overwhelming to be on the receiving end: “From the moment I met you, all those years ago, a day hasn’t gone by when I haven’t thought of you. And now that I’m close to you again, I’m in agony. The closer I get to you, the worse it gets. The thought of not being with you makes my stomach turn over – my mouth goes dry. I feel dizzy. I can’t breathe. I’m haunted by the kiss you should never have given me. My heart is beating, hoping that kiss will not become a scar. You are in my very soul, tormenting me. What can I do? I will do anything you ask… If you are suffering as much as I am, tell me.”

This kind of long-winded declaration is (from my understanding) actually characteristic of love bombing, although IRL, it takes the form of texts and emails.

In TCW “Hostage Crisis”, he gives Padme his lightsaber, which could be considered an extravagant and unnecessary gift, he does this in order to resolve a disagreement (in which it really seems like he is trying to guilt her into behaving how he wants her to) and essentially declare that his love is more important to him than anything else and that their relationship is so special to him that he’d put his life in her hands.

5. Pressure to commit to a relationship.

Although I don’t think we know if getting married was a mutual decision or not, they did so after an incredibly short time after their reunion and I don’t believe that onset war is a truly justifiable enough reason for such a commitment after such a short period of time. Also, Anakin’s behaviour towards Padme throughout the entirety of AOTC could be considered this.

6. A bizarrely intense and fast paced relationship.

They knew each other for what, a week or two, or less, before getting married? In addition to the multiple love confessions, I think this applies.

7. (Again, a bunch) Being intensely clingy, wanting to know everything about you immediately and telling you their personal details too quickly, and wanting constant validation.

I think the love confession under 4 applies and he arguably ends up oversharing regarding how he views his relationship with Obi-Wan, beginning by praising him before saying: “In some ways- a lot of ways- I’m really ahead of him. I’m ready for the trials, but he feels that I’m too unpredictable. He won’t let me move on.” and “He’s overly critical. He never listens. He- He doesn’t understand. It’s not fair!” Throughout this, I think his tone grows rather petulant and he seems to be looking for Padme’s validation of this view. Immediately afterwards he disregards Padme’s request that he not look at her in a way that she says makes her uncomfortable.

8. The love bomber lashing out when criticised and not taking responsibilities for previous relationships.

A platonic example: After Shmi’s death, Padme witness’ Anakin lashing out in response to his perception that: “It’s all Obi-Wan’s fault! He’s jealous! He’s holding me back!”, which builds on his earlier conversation with Padme, and is followed by the rather terrifying declaration of committing mass murder. I wouldn’t be entirely surprised if the idea of criticising Anakin got linked to the idea of extreme violence for Padme, even if subconsciously. But, back to the point, Anakin places all the blame on Obi-Wan, refusing to acknowledge any fault of his own in the process.

9. Saying the “right things”.

Not a perfect example of this, but in TCW “Hostage Crisis” Anakin resolves a disagreement over Padme prioritising her work by leading her through a specific thought process:

Padme: “Hey, I’m supposed to be on a meditative retreat. We should go away together. I know a place far away from here where no one would recognize us. Yeah, it’ll be like we’re actually husband and wife instead of senator and Jedi.”

Padme: “I–I can’t, Ani.”

Anakin: “What do you mean, you can’t? Oh, it’s only two weeks. We’ll be back before anyone even notices we’re gone.”

Padme: “I have to bring this bill before the senate. It’s important.”

Anakin: “Uh-huh. More important than the way you feel about me?”

Padme: “Not more important, but important. The work I do–the work we both do is in the service of the Republic, to protect those who would otherwise be powerless to protect themselves.”

Anakin: “Of course. But those are ideals. Isn’t our love more important to you?”

Padme: “But I-”

Anakin: “No. No, but. To me, there’s nothing more important than the way I feel about you. Nothing.”

Padme: “Anakin, don’t be so-”

Anakin: “Oh, you don’t believe me.”

Padme: “I didn’t say I-”

Anakin: “I’ll prove it. Just watch. [Pulls out his lightsaber] When I finished constructing my lightsaber, Obi-Wan said to me, “Anakin, this weapon is your life.” This weapon is my life.”

Padme: “No, Anakin, I can’t. A Jedi lightsaber is- Wow, it’s heavier than I thought.”

Anakin: “It’s yours. Believe me now?”

Padme: “If all you, want to do is make fun of me, I think you should just go.”

Anakin: “That’s not what I want. Not at all.”

Then they kiss.

This strikes me as an incredibly manipulative conversation, in which Anakin is aiming to behave in a way that ultimately controls Padme’s reactions throughout the conversation and is both unrealistic and ultimately hollow (Anakin will need to take his lightsaber back, and the gifting of it proves to be detrimental to the later situation).

10. Showing extreme jealousy when you’re with someone else.

The Clovis situation.

I’m not trying to disregard Padme’s agency in the relationship, she does seem to reciprocate to some extent, but I’m just wondering how much of that agency is actually hers.

I’d like to know your thoughts on this if you’re willing to slog through all of this, it sort of got away from me.

@nyx987

I’m really hesitant to apply specific terms like this to characters in Star Wars, I’ve seen certain terms get thrown about in fandom specifically around Anakin and his behavior and the ways that those discussions can get really gnarly. I am not a psychiatrist, I’ve never studied psychology by any stretch of the imagination, so I’m not inclined to apply things like this to Star Wars unless it was specifically discussed in text or by someone like Lucas as something he had in mind when writing it (for example, the idea of attachment and the way Lucas specifically uses it and how THAT applies to Padme and Anakin’s relationship).

When I discuss this relationship and the reasons I think it’s bad, I try to go for things like “unhealthy” that are a bit more vague and don’t necessarily refer to a specific diagnosis. I talk about how selfishness and greed come up in the relationship because those are words Lucas used to describe Anakin. I talk sometimes about how sexism impacts the relationship both from a meta standpoint (everything in AOTC relies on the trope of “when a woman says no she actually means yes”) and an in-universe standpoint (Anakin demanding obedience from Padme as his wife seems relatively intentional as something the audience is intended to view as BAD).

I have used the term abusive before, but I have also seen people push back on that (up until he’s literally choking her, obviously), so I’m trying to stay away from that one these days. I’d maintain that it is a fundamentally dysfunctional and unhealthy relationship for BOTH of them, I think they’re BOTH making selfish choices here and that this relationship brings out the worst of both of them, but that’s as far as I’m currently comfortable taking it.

So, I dunno, MAYBE Anakin is an example of love bombing, but I can hardly consider myself any kind of expert or authority on the subject enough to say one way or the other.

#submission #anti anidala #anidala critical #anakin critical #anti anakin #anakin skywalker critical #anti anakin skywalker #padme amidala #love bombing

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