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shdysders · 3 months

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mistake

pairing: tara carpenter & female reader

summary: in which tara makes a mistake she can't undo

word count: 3.4k

warnings: violence, blood, stabbing, blood & death.

author’s note: feel like my writing is deteriorating, so sorry this might not be the greatest.

When you heard that Mindy and Ethan had been separated from the rest of the group, you immediately knew nothing was going to go according to the plan.

Everything had happened so fast. First accusation news about Sam had streamed on television, then Quinn's bloody corpse had fallen on top of you, then Anika wasn't able to make it across the latter, her bloody hands and Ghostface's shaking had made her slip. You had lost two of your friends in less than fifteen minutes.

You hadn't heard of the killings in Woodsboro until you had met Tara the first day of junior year, but she made sure to tell you everything that had happened the closer the two of you got.

Based on everything you had heard, you understood why Sam was so protective over Tara, the Carpenter sisters had been through more than normal people have in a lifetime.

However, even though you were nothing but nice and understanding towards Sam, she didn't seem to like you.

The first time Tara had brought you home to the apartment, Sam had kept a burning gaze on you for the whole time, like she wanted to burn you alive.

You thought that she would warm up and eventually trust you like she seemed to do with Anika, Quinn and Ethan, but she never did.

And it only got worse once Tara had called you her girlfriend in front of her, a huge disagreement broke out, so big that Sam had sent you out of the apartment.

You never got to know what Sam had said after that, but you did know that the glares you got from Sam only worsened and so did the small comments she would make about you when she thought you didn't hear.

Such as now, when Sam and Tara were walking in front of you, the theater being the destination. You had this gut feeling that Sam was currently talking about you. You just knew she was, even tho you couldn't hear her voice nor did you see her head moving like it normally did when she spoke, you knew.

But your mind changed thoughts when she rapidly turned on her heel, stopping when she was in front of Danny who had been walking closely behind you, alongside Kirby.

"Not you." She said, her voice cracking.

"What?" He answered almost immediately, like he had been expecting it.

"Don't trust anyone remember?" Sam replied.

You watched the scene with worried eyes, what Sam said reminded you way too much of something she had told Tara when she thought you weren't near. "We don't know you.. not really."

His face expression looked hurt, almost taken aback when Sam spoke. "You know me."

"You're not Woodsboro." She spoke quickly, rage lacing her voice.

Tara looked down at her shoes after that was said, her lips finding a home between her teeth. You knew she was scared, because you were as well. You had no idea how things were going to go down, you had never experienced something as brutal like this before.

You were seconds away from putting a comforting hand on her shoulder, before she looked up at you with tears pricking her eyes.

"That goes for you too." She swallows thickly, trying her hardest to look into your eyes.

You furrowed your eyebrows, panic rising through you. "W-what?" Your voice came out as a stutter, not believing what she had just made it's way out of her mouth.

Tara just nodded unsurely, her eyes looked sad and were filled with doubt. You couldn't understand why. If she was sad about it, why would she say it?

"Tara I- you can't be serious." You spoke again, voice growing shakier by the minute.

She knew very well how terrified you were about the situation as it was, and yet she still chose to leave you out of the plan alongside Sam's unknown fuck buddy? If it didn't make you shake out of fear you would've been infuriated.

"You're not Woodsboro." She stated, same thing as her sister but in a different tone, she'd tried to sound calm, but her voice was filled with uncertainty, shaky with worry.

You knew she was right. You weren't Woodsboro. You had never been to the place nor did you knew it existed before Tara came along. But the fact that she didn't trust you enough to know for certain that you weren't Ghostface, made you feel the need to fall apart. Did she really think you would kill your friends? Let alone hurt them?

The thought made your eyes sting, and before you had the chance to wipe the tears away, they fell.

"Tara please I promise I-" You felt embarrassed, being so vulnerable over basically nothing.

All eyes were on you as you tried to keep the tears from falling, you felt ridiculous. But you were terrified.

You couldn't stand the thought of being left alone in this situation. Not only because you were scared of being alone, but also because you had to protect Tara.

Although you knew Sam would do a perfectly fine job of keeping her safe, but you wanted to do it, you had to. You wanted to prove to Sam that you loved Tara almost the same amount as she did, you wanted to prove to Tara she could trust you with her life.

You could see that Tara wanted to give in, tell you that you could come along and that she trusted you with her whole being. Her eyes were filled with regret and doubt. But you could tell that she wasn't going to change her mind anytime soon.

She just watched you, biting her lips hard enough to draw blood. Seeing the look on your face just made her want to squeeze you in a hug hard enough to make you faint.

You looked so scared, and the fact that she knew how scared you were about the whole situation, made everything worse. She had noticed the terrified look on your face that hadn't left since the attack at the apartment, your trembling hands and the layer of tears in your eyes that never fell.

Tara actually thought that you looked more scared than both Sam and her combined.

"Y/n please just stay here." She tried to reason, as if she wanted this. But she did want it. She wanted you to be safe.

You wanted to argue, tell her that you would refuse to come along. But you knew that you wouldn't get anywhere with it, Tara was stubborn, she always got what she wanted somehow. And you didn't want Sam to see you argue with Tara, that certainly wouldn't help you get on better terms with her.

So you gave in, even though you knew Tara's life was at stake. Sam will take care of her, you tried to tell yourself.

You quickly wiped the tears on your cheeks with your hand, even though everybody had already seen them.

Tara's eyes never left your figure as she watched your trembling hands. "Fine." You almost spit, voice cracking with worry.

Tara nodded at that, happy to hear you give in. You didn't pay attention to anybody's reaction other than hers, they didn't seem to matter.

She walked closer to you, placing a kiss on your faintly tear stained cheek. "Be safe." She said, as if she wasn't the one that was about to walk into a situation that she would either leave traumatized or not leave at all.

"Be safe." You repeated, before you watched them all walk away towards the building.

Seeing as Sam turned her head to Tara and whispered 'good call', as they walked away.

But when you turned around to try and make a decent conversation with Danny, he was nowhere in sight. Making even more worry creep in your bones.

***

You had been pacing around in the same place and pattern for 20 minutes without any progress, Danny was gone, and your phone was dead.

The streets where dead and empty.

You had half a mind to just run to the theaters and do the exact opposite of what Tara had instructed you to. But you knew well enough that both of the Carpenter sisters would quite literally murder you if you stepped a foot into their plan.

But eventually the worry and stress got to you, like it always did. You didn't care if you were going to get murdered whether if it were by Tara or Ghostface, if it was for protecting Tara, it was a good reason.

However, before you had the chance to change your mind or consider the other options, a glove-covered hand landed on your face, covering your mouth tightly.

The yelp and screams you tried to make was inaudible, nobody could hear them.

You felt a surge of fear and panic, unable to hear your own scream. The street grew eerily silent as you struggled to break free, your heart pounding in your chest. Rush of intense vulnerability and confusion, as you desperately searched for a way to escape the grasp of the unknown assailant.

But you knew who it was. It was Ghostface.

You tried to kick them with your legs, but none of them seemed to hit. The person was holding a strong grip on your mouth, and the other arm was firmly placed around your waist. You were unable to move out of any of the grips, the person was too strong. And you weren't.

Your panic was making it harder to breath, and you were beginning to feel as if you were about to faint any second.

You tried your best to remove the grip with your hands, gripping hardly on the muscular arms, trying so hard to get them away from you.

The tightened arms had veins all over them, yet another reminder that it was impossible for you to get away.

It was Danny, you tried to tell yourself over the ringing in your ears. It had to be Danny. He had left the second you were alone with him. It had to be him.

Muffled screams and ringing ears were the only noises you could make out. If the person behind you was speaking in a voice changer to you or not, you had no idea.

The panic you felt was replaced with relief when the thought of using your elbow to hit the individual behind you entered your mind.

But you never got the chance to do that.

Seconds before your elbow was about to meet the Ghostface mask, you felt a sharp pain in your lower abdomen.

All of the movements you were making stopped the second you realized what it was.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

Six.

Seven.

Seven times you could feel the sharp piece of metal enter and exit your abdomen. A gasp escaped your mouth after every single one of them.

You tried to scream, but nobody was around. Your wide eyes scanned through the street, yet again seeing that nobody was there. It was all empty.

Normally the streets of New York would be filled with drunk teenagers and late night workers, whether it was night or afternoon.

But when the news about the killers got out, everybody stayed inside. Some people didn't even bother to leave for work, and of course no parties. Even the homeless people seemed to have found another place to stay at.

You didn't realize that numbness was spreading through your legs until the potential male had slowly began to loosen the grip he had on your figure.

Before you had time to think, he had completely let go.

Suddenly you felt dizzy, you couldn't feel your feet, you couldn't feel your legs, you couldn't feel anything.

You could barely feel your legs giving up, nor did you feel your body hitting the ground as you tried to cover up the damage that had been made on your lower stomach.

Regardless the sharp pain in your body that almost made it impossible to breathe and the dizziness that got worse every time you moved, you tried to crawl towards the fence that was just centimeters away.

Your hands bloody from trying to add pressure to your wounds made trails on the asphalt.

You couldn’t tell if you had placed your hands on the right place, considering that the stab wounds were all over the place. And you didn't even dare to look down, because you could guarantee that it wouldn't be a pleasant sight.

Your eyes were starting to close by themselves and you were struggling to keep them open.

Everything hurt.

The pressure you were putting on the wounds was now becoming lighter, your hands didn't seem to have any strength left in them.

Tara would be here soon, you thought, desperately.

She would be here soon, everything would be okay; no more Ghostface attacks, no more Sam hating you, and no more unexpected death cases of your friends.

Your mind focused on Tara.

Her brown hair, her beautiful brown eyes, her dimples and her breathtaking smile. Her voice, her touch, and her joyful laugh.

Your eyes closed, and this time you couldn't stop them. The pressure on your wounds was no longer existent. The color in you was gone. You were gone.

Last thought being the girl you wanted to marry.

***

Tara left the building with a lump in her stomach, as big as a bowling ball.

Her body was filled with worry and guilt, but a part of her felt relief. She was relieved that everything was over now. No more Ghostfaces. She was done with them, truly.

Tara couldn't wait to see you. She was going to tell you that the decision she made was right, that she was happy you stayed behind, because you stayed safe.

But when Danny had walked into the theater, tackling all kinds of officer in his way, he was all alone. You weren't there, you didn't come with him.

Danny told them that the two of you had lost sight of each other rather quickly after they'd left, that you probably just needed to be alone and breathe for a moment.

Tara knew that you would be upset with her, for not allowing you to come with them, for not letting you protect her, like you always told her you would, even if it meant dying.

Although she had hoped for you to at least come to see if she made it out alive.

Danny had called the cops and ambulance to arrive at the place as soon as he got the chance. That's why the only thing in Tara's sight was ambulances, police cars and the fire department.

Chad had miraculously made it out alive, same with Mindy and Kirby. And even though that made Tara want to cry out in happy tears, she couldn't let herself feel anything until she had seen you.

Safe and secure. Like you should've been.

Panic began to rise within Tara as minutes passed without any sight of you.

Sam stood beside her, trying to sooth her younger sister with comforting words. But they didn't make anything better for her.

After the whole showdown, the two Carpenter sister's had talked, really talked.

Sam had tried to explain to Tara that she didn't actually hate you, the opposite really. She thought you were lovely and a perfect match for Tara. But she didn't want to take any risks.

She wanted to show you the walls to her trust weren't easy to break. And then she thought that if she acted rude towards you, you would eventually leave; meaning there was no need for Sam to let her guard down and open up to people she didn't know.

But Sam knew how much Tara loved you, she had been listening to her sister's rambling about you everyday.

That's why Sam could feel her heart sinking down her entire being when her eyes met with a stretcher where a body was placed, a morgue sheet on top of it, which was filled with blood.

Sam prayed that it was somebody else. That you had walked somewhere else to breathe just like Danny had assumed.

She felt the need to distract Tara before she had the chance to see it, but it was too late.

She had already seen it.

Tara screamed out your name in a sob, straight away assuming that you were the person underneath the white cover.

The woman who had been pushing the stretcher had stopped, turning around to try and give the man behind her any sort of information about the deceased individual.

Tara's legs moved faster than she could process, Sam following shortly after.

Heart pounding, hands trembling. With a swift of motion, she grabbed the edge of the wrap and pulled it upward, revealing your pale and peaceful face.

The vibrant hues that once painted your face were now gone, leaving behind a pale and ghostly visage. The colors had been drained from you, you no longer looked like yourself.

Tara could feel herself gasp loudly at the sight, turning around with a hand placed on her mouth.

A surge of sickness overwhelmed her. A gut-wrenching sensation, as if her stomach was about to revolt. She felt like she was on the verge of throwing up, basically feeling the acidic liquids rise within her.

It was you. Her girl. Dead. Gone.

Sam had the same reaction to the sight, gasping and putting her hand on her mouth, preventing from letting out any tears or sounds. Chills running down her spine.

Stop it. Pull it together. Tara. Tara needs you. Sam told herself.

Gaze shifting from your body and the bloody sheet upon you to her younger sister, who was sobbing beside her, about to fall down to her knees.

But when Sam put a hand on Tara's shoulder, she stood straighter. "No!" She shot up, voice raspy.

She looked at you again, but this time not caring for the feeling inside of her throat that threatened her. "She's not dead." Tara spoke again, trying to convince herself that you were alive, that she could save you.

"Tara-" Sam tried, but Tara had no interest in listening to her sister.

"Y/n. Baby, look at me." Tara gently brushed her fingertips against your cheeks, but quickly pulled away when she felt the chill that pierced through her body, for they were once a source of warmth and comfort, now distant and cold.

You were always warm.

The tears streamed down Tara's face, leaving even more mascara smudges on her cheeks, falling and leaving marks on her blue shirt. The shirt that you had gotten her.

"Sam, Come on! help me please" She begged for her big sister's help, still hoping that you could be saved.

At that sentence, the woman who had pushed you turned around, she seemed to have heard Tara's pleads and begs, filled with hope, wishing that you were alive. "Oh honey, this girl has been deceased for over an hour...we can't save her."

The woman spoke apologetically and looked at Tara with sorrowed eyes. "I'm so sorry." She ended. Tara was about to scream at the lady, yell at her and tell them to at least try, you weren't gone. There was no way.

But before Tara got the chance to argue, Sam had pulled her into her chest, embracing Tara with a hug. And at that, Tara broke.

The sobs left her mouth faster than she could take them in, she didn't have any space to breathe.

"She's gone." She cried, her tears staining the older woman's shirt. "And I wasn't there to help her." Tara rambled, talking rapidly before the next sob would escape.

Sam didn't know what to say. She just stroke her younger sister's hair, trying to soothe her sobs.

She had never seen Tara this vulnerable and emotionally ruined, not even when she had reunited with Tara at the hospital the previous year.

Tara's body shook violently as each sob left her mouth.

It was a mistake. It was all a mistake.

Tara had been so confident with her decision only minutes before. She thought she had made the right move.

But it turned out to be the biggest mistake of her life.

A mistake she couldn't take back, and had to live with for the rest of her time alive.

#jenna ortega x reader #tara carpenter #tara carpenter x reader #jenna ortega #jenna ortega x fem!reader #vada cavell x reader #wednesday addams x reader #mabel x reader #melissa barrera x reader #sadie sink x reader

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keypaa · 2 months

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Astrology Observations No.5 🧛🏻‍♀️💋🖤👻

(+ a bit creepy stuff)

I use the whole sign system

Uranus opposition Ascendant & strangers talking to you all of a sudden in unexpected ways and places

Mars in 8th house get attacked by spirits often (sleep paralysis, seeing shadows, feeling presences) in many places you go to

!Sensitive topic¡

Astroid Medusa (149) in strong aspects (usually squares) with the north node/southnode + pluto indicate r*pe. I saw it in two of my friends chart. The north node can be seen as destiny. Even if you don't have this aspect and still went through this i love you you are never alone ❣︎

Scorpio ascendants attract a whole bunch of creeps trust your gut and keep it safe people always pay attention to what you are doing you just need to look closer

Lilith in the 10th house and females being annoyed of their presence in the work place. Usually also attract a whole bunch of jealousy in school, uni or at work. Michele Avil that was murdered by her best friend because of jealousy had this placement

Moon in Scorpio hate not having control they know how to (atleast try) to get someone to do something. Positive note good investigators who would make great psychologists, detectives and so on

So well if you have a bunch of 1st house, 8th house or 12th house placements in planets like venus, mars, moon or lilith you are more prone to attract stalkers atleast once in your life KEEP IT SAFE and I mean it¡! And by stalkers I also mean people who do a whole bunch of research on you and your life or keep following you obsessively on social media.

Don't leak unnecessary information about you and try to not go to quite places alone where no one could find you if something would happen.

Lilith in leo are feared by females loved by men

Venus in 10th house don't tell anyone about your love life trust me even tho people always find things to say and spread rumors about. You will publicly be known for what is happening in your love life.

Moon in aries need to be feared, if introverted it takes long to see their anger but most aries moons show ther anger explosively nevertheless they cool down rather quickly, loyal to their loved ones tho

Don't fuxk with leo venus friends they take care of them like a lion mother, dedicated

Venus in capricorn always have enemys

Masculines with libra placements always fall for people who don't love them the same way/or for absolutely toxic & crazzzy people

Lilith in the 22nd degree are necrophilists. Just look at Richard Ramirez chart, he loved s*x with the dead.

According to Ian Altosaar the 22nd degree is about murder and I combined this information with liliths nature, hidden desire. 👻Ps: Most necrophilists are men not always but almost all the time https://ijop.net/index.php/mlu/article/download/734/688/1339 or on Wikipedia (not so reliable source but says that about 92% are men)

Virgo placements get underratedly sexualised a whole lot. The biggest p*rn star right now has virgo placements. Also virgo liliths can be se*ualised

Pisces moons had a time of their life where they cried a lot or still are very emotional (nothing bad). Other than that they can be dangerously manipulative if they want to and feel every slight difference in someones behavior

Aquarius ascendants and loving colorful clothing

Juno (3) in aries and rooting for ambitious people that behave masculine in a loving manner (romantically)

Juno (3) in aquarius want a partner that sticks out from the masses

Mercury in sagittarius have a special voice

Pholus (astroid) shows you what transformed you the most in your life:

1st hous/Aries: You yourself/sports caused a transformation in your life

2st house/Taurus: Your financial situation changed you

3rd house/Gemini: The area where you live in (hood) affected you, or off topic your car/drivers license

4rd house/Cancer: Your home life, emotions or femininity

5th house/Leo: Creative skills of yours or recognition transformed you

6th house/Virgo: Routine or your health/hygiene plays/played a crucial role in your life

7th house/Libra: Your love life/ or glow up affected your life view

8th house/Scorpio: Deaths, paranormal stuff, operations, accidents and your sexuality transformed your way of dealing with life

9th house/ Saggitarius: Other cultures, traveling and your ancestors trigger something in you

10th house/Capricorn: Your work, work environment and accomplishments changed you

11th house/Aquarius: Humanitarian topics, technology and friends started your transformation journey

12th house/Pisces: Religion, spirituality & plastic surgerys may have affected your journey of developing your sense of self

Luvvv muah

3:18 PM

555

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duckwithablog · 1 year

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⋰ ⊹˚. ♡ Alone on Valentines? ⋰ ⊹˚. ♡

I was halfway done before most of this got deleted. I am going to scream cry and convulse on the floor. As it's way to late for me to be awake rn, I'll just do this in two parts, for the sake of my sanity </33

I know for a fact that most of us are probably gonna be spending this Valentine's alone, reading fanfic, and honestly same. But let's imagine for a second that that isn't the case.

The turtles react to you being alone on Valentines Day

GN reader, romantic, crushing/pining, fluff

Raphael

flabbergasted

like that's his initial reaction

i imagine that you guys would just be chilling in the lair, talking, and you slip out that you might be spending valentine's alone

he goes "oh, okay!" before he double takes and says

"wait- really?"

he honestly thought that you would've had a date for valentine's this year

because like... why wouldn't you? you're so attractive, and charming, and lovable, who wouldn't want to date you?

no matter how you feel about being alone (unbothered, sad, etc etc) raph will do everything he can to make you feel better

you don't deserve to be alone! no one does!

so he proudly states that "if you don't have anyone to spend the day with, then raph'll spend it with you! there! now you won't be alone anymore."

he says this all with this big smile

doesn't realize that he basically just asked to be your date

you realize it tho

ofc, you say yes, because who can say no to raph?

and raph just nods to himself, proud, before he processes what he just said

oh. he just scored a date with you.

jaw drops at this realization. OH. HE JUST SCORED A DATE. WITH YOU.

BY ACCIDENT??

vows to make this the best valentine's you'll ever experience

it might be hard, being a giant turtle and all, but by pizza supreme is he gonna try his best anyways

Donatello

bro you didn't even tell him this information

he literally eavesdropped on your conversation with april while he was nearby

pretends to be really engrossed in whatever he was doing while he strains to listen to what you guys are saying

is also confused when he finds out. according to his statistics, you have plenty of qualities that make you attractive. so why are you spending valentine's alone?

forgets that the data he used to make said statistics are based off of his experiences with you. He then considers that maybe not everybody got butterflies in their stomach whenever you were around

BRO HAD TO REMIND HIMSELF THAT NOT EVERYONE HAD A CRUSH ON YOU LMAO

when april leaves the room, he internally goes aha! an opportunity! and tries to make a move

he acts cool as he talks to you, but don't be fooled, he is internally combusting

not so subtly suggests that you should spend valentine's in the lair with him instead of being alone. tells you that not all love is romantic, and as... friends... you guys have a right to celebrate today as well

damn he is not making this easier on himself

of course, his brothers and april are gonna be there too!! obviously!!

you get to spend time with all of them.

... mostly with donnie, though. especially with donnie.

if you agree, he'd say "perfect! shall we call it a date, then?"

say yes. the look on his face and the growing blush on his cheeks is so worth it

#duckiswriting #rottmnt x reader #rise raph x reader #rise donnie x reader #rise of the tmnt x reader #tmnt x reader #donatello x reader #raphael x reader #rise mikey x reader #rise leo x reader #leonardo x reader #michelangelo x reader #gn reader #valentines day #tmnt 2018 x reader

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cuttergauthier · 3 months

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Fresh Start

Jack Hughes x Female Edwards Reader

Warning: cussing, fluff

word count: 1.0k

let me know what you guys think🤍

I was starting my last year of University, I used to go to the University of Michigan but after a bad break up I ended up transferring to Columbia University.

Columbia university is only a few minutes from Jersey, the team my brother was drafted by. My younger brother and I are pretty close, I could have stayed in Michigan and spent my last year with him there, but I needed a change, and to be somewhere I wouldn't run into my ex.

My brother will be in Jersey in a few years and I can't wait.

Since my brother started playing for the Michigan Wolverines he became close with his teammates, he’s pretty close to Luke Hughes, who was also drafted by the New Jersey Devils, now there roommates in Michigan, Luke playing in his last year before he joins his brother jack in Jersey who already plays for the devils.

Because both Luke and Ethan got to Michigan at the same time, along with a few others they stuck together, and are really close.

My brother introduced me to his teammates and I became friends with them, mostly the older ones. Now when I told the guys I was transferring to Columbia they were all sad but they understood why. Luke and Ethan both made it their mission to tell Jack, Luke’s brother to make sure he looks after me, they don’t think I know but it was pretty obvious.

Last summer when Ethan was invited to the Hughes Lake house, they also invited me, since according to Luke I became like a sister to him. That’s where I met Jack for the first time, Luke introduced us. Jack and I didn’t talk much that summer but I know for a fact that Ethan and Luke told him to look after me when I was at Columbia, I’m not stupid even tho both Ethan and Luke are younger than me, ever since my break up they’ve been protective.

Now I've been in Jersey for about a month and a half. University started a few weeks ago, Jack came by my apartment during my second day here, he said he wanted to show me around but I knew Luke told him.

Jack showed all the best places to go to in New York, he also introduced me to his teammates, they're all really nice and welcoming, so is Jack.

Ever since I got here, we’ve been spending a lot of time together when he doesn’t have practice and I’m not busy with homework.

Today is Wednesday. I had class from 8:30 to 10 a.m. This morning, Jack had the day off so he asked if I wanted to hang out after class and I agreed.

I just got back to my apartment. It's now 10:30 p.m. Jack said he’d be here at 11 a.m. so i went and changed out of my jeans and put on a pair of black Lululemon leggings so I could be more comfortable.

Once I was done I went and sat down on my couch, I turned on Netflix and put on the new season of Outer Banks so I could watch before he got here.

Thankfully I didn’t have any homework to do since I finished it last night. Ever since i’ve gotten close to jack i started to get feelings but there’s nothing i can do about it since i doubt he feels the same way. My brother will be his teammate in a couple of years and I also don’t want to make things weird between them.

At around 11:02 a.m. there was a knock on the door, I paused the show and went to open the door.

“Hey, this is for you” Jack greeted me smiling with an extra coffee in his hands, when I opened the door.

“Hey, come in and thank you, you didn’t have to get me a coffee” I replied smiling and taking the coffee from him, while opening the door wider so he could walk in, once he did I closed the door. Jack took off his shoes and we made our way to the living room.

“ it’s nothing, i know you had class this morning so i thought you might need one”

“I really did, so thank you”

“ What are we doing today?” He asked

“I have no clue, what do you want to do?” I said

“I was thinking maybe if it’s okay with you, i could take you on a date” he said looking at me waiting for my response. I was shocked. I didn't think he felt the same way.

“I’d love that” i said smiling softly

“Perfect, do you want to go after we're both done with our coffees?” He asked

“That’s perfect” i said nodding

“How have you been? How are your classes?”

“I’m good, my classes have been a bit stressful but it’s normal since it’s my senior year.”

“Makes sense, are you excited to be graduating in May?”

“Yes, I can't wait,” I said eagerly, making him chuckle.

“Jeez, it is that bad” he said sarcastically making me chuckle

“No, i’m just excited to be able to do what i love full time” i said smiling

“I’m glad”

“Are you ready to go out?” He asked once I took the last sip of coffee.

“Yeah, let’s go” i said smiling

We put on our shoes and jackets before making our way out of my apartment. I grabbed my hand and I looked at him smiling.

“Where are you taking me?” I asked curious

“It’s a surprise” he said smiling

Jack ended up taking me out to one of my favorite restaurants that he showed me when i first moved here, it was an amazing date, i had a lot of fun.

Now Jack dropped me off at home. He walked me up to my door.

“I had an amazing time tonight” I said, turning and looking at Jack who already had a smile on his face.

“Me too, any chance I can take you on another date soon?” He asked.

“I would love that” i said blushing

“Perfect,” he replied.

He leaned in and kissed my cheek.

“I’ll talk to you later, have a good night Yn” he said before leaving.

Once I made it in the apartment and closed the door I couldn't stop smiling.

Another date? I like the sound of that!!

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whyse7vn · 1 month

Text

WORM -

[ jung hoseok x reader ]

HOSEOK ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡

hoseok: wyd

y/n: can you talk to me like you love me pls

hoseok: there was sm love in that wyd i don’t what ur talking about actually

y/n: it felt like i was whore number 32

hoseok: ur literally whore 12???

y/n: you barely know 7 people let alone 12

hoseok: you literally said ur whore 32 so clearly i know more than 12 people

y/n: i said that it FELT like i was whore 32 not that i was

hoseok: let’s have sex

y/n: no

i’m listening to butterfly rn

ur interrupting

IS IT TRUEEEEE IS IT TRUEEEEEEEEEE

hoseok: no that’s actually so crazy cuz i wrote that song for you babe

y/n: ???

hoseok: and if you translate it the lyrics into hyroglifics it actually about why we should fuck rn

y/n: that is not true at all

also you did NOT write it according to my spotify

see

hoseok: i wrote it in my heart

y/n: ok

hoseok: do you like me

y/n: no not when ur wasting my time like rn

hoseok: maybe i just want to talk to you

y/n: ur boring

hoseok: wait why ur spotify in english ☠️☠️

this bitch can’t speak korean ohmygod 🤣💯😭🤦🏻‍♂️

y/n: and ur trying to fuck???

hoseok: i love you

y/n: i love you more

hoseoki: call me daddy

y/n: NO

hoseok: WHY ☹️

y/n: how many times do we need to go through this

you have thrown up BOTH times i’ve called you it

hoseok: what if i’ve changed

y/n: stop talking to me

hoseok: :p

maybe you need to encourage me more

a hoseokssi fighting~🥺🙏🏼💘

before you say it and i might not throw up

y/n: stop talking about it

hoseok: fine 😒

y/n: btw do you know where my pink hat is

cant find her i’m real upset

hoseok: btw i have not one clue where it is!!!

sorry to hear ur upset

don’t cry pretty

y/n: so ur telling me you don’t have it rn

hoseok: i don’t

y/n: answer the ft then

hoseok: i don’t want to

y/n: what if i’m naked

hoseok: are you?

y/n: no

hoseok: i’m not answering then

y/n: you have my hat hobi

hoseok: that is not true

babe ur like going insane i think

not good

let’s get you to a doctor

y/n: bring my hat home rn

hoseok: what hat?

y/n: i will NOT let you gaslight ur way out of this

hoseok: gaslighting isn’t real ur just insane

telling you we need to see a doctor asap no newjeans

y/n: don’t lose my hat pls

hoseok: why would i lose it

y/n: so you do have it

hoseok: whaaaatttttt

y/n: whatever just don’t lose it

hoseok: ok 😁

babe?

y/n: yeah

hoseok: miss you

y/n: is that why you took my hat?

hoseok: say you miss me back ohmygod

y/n: i miss you back

is that why you took my hat?

hoseok: wait babe ur spitting 🔥🗣️

y/n: i don’t spit

hoseok: no ur right

ur a good girl and swallow

y/n: ok bye

hoseok: ok i’m sorry come back 😢

i just want to fuck

y/n: ur life story at this point

hoseok: not true

there are times i don’t want to fuck

y/n: times like????

hoseok: i don’t have my thinking cap on rn

but if i did

i could name you times i didn’t want to

y/n: sure

hoseok: sure

y/n: sure.

hoseok: shorts tight as hell rn

y/n: shorts???

are you not cold

why are you wearing shorts rn it’s still cold outside

hoseok: my dick just THAT big i fear

y/n: jung hoseok

hoseok: ok i’m sorry this time i’m fr sorry

like actually babe

y/n: i prefer when you don’t lie to me

hoseok: my fault

did you believe i was sorry tho

y/n: no

hoseok: damn fr???

ur saying i’m not built for this kdrama life

y/n: you barely built for this one

hoseok: LMAOOOO

that wasn’t funny

if you thought i laughed ur wrong

don’t say things like that

i’m upset now

y/n: sorry babe

hoseok: it’s ok i forgive you

y/n: thx >_<

hoseok: is this you finally admitting ur in love with me

y/n: only a little

ur ego it’s getting a bit much these days

hoseok: always knew you loved me 💘😍

y/n: loved

hoseok: ?

y/n: past tense

hoseok: love

y/n: i didn’t say to change it

my love you in the past fr fr

hoseok: fr??

y/n: for real man

hoseok: man

y/n: yup

hoseok: remember when we were just friends

y/n: remember when we didn’t even know each other

hoseok: lowkey

take me back 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

y/n: that was my joke

you nasty little thief

hoseok: i’m not joking

y/n: if we breakup one day

ur gonna think back to this moment

and be like man

i was off my head

this was all my fault

why would i say some fucked up shit like this man

hoseok: you were gonna say the same thing tho?

y/n: but i didn’t

hoseok: ok

would you love me as a worm tho

y/n: i don’t even love you as you are rn

hoseok: OK WHAT

SWITCH UP IS CRAZY

LIKE CRAZY

NO JIMIN

you said you love me

y/n: LOVED

get it right

hoseok: ok wtf man

y/n: you wouldn’t love me as a worm

hoseok: who said that???

not me

ask me the question

y/n: would you still love me as a worm?

hoseok: no!!

y/n: kys

hoseok: my sweetheart ❤️

—

nah someone tell hoseok to let the daddy agenda go omg bf so crazy guys 🤦🏽‍♀️😂‼️

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @k4ngelz @jmnscutie @threeopossumsinacoat @cynicalyoongs @lightningpussy54 @eunthv @gigiiiiislife @lowkeykin @elissasimp @socksfirstalways @knjlvr06 @lailaisarmy @thvkives @xstfudaisyx @xxxanimangxxx @solstice34 @ml8dy @hoeforseoks

just realised joon was supposed to be next my fault LMAO

#bts crack #bts fluff #bts imagines #bts texts #bts fic #bts x y/n #bts fanfic #bts x you #bts x reader #jhope x reader #hobi x reader #hoseok × reader #jhope x y/n #hobi x y/n #hoseok x y/n #jhope #hobi #hoseok #bts incorrect texts

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braxlrose · 10 months

Note

Can ya like make nsfw/sfw hc about Tom?

(Btw i luv ya🫶)

Like I did with Bill, I think I'm just gonna do sfw hcs rn cause I'm tired but I will get to the nsfw 😈

sfw headcanons for Tom Kaulitz

You and tom were bestfriends when you were kids, you were always hanging out with him and bill whenever you could (considering they were your only friends before gustav and georg came around)

You and tom got into trouble ALL THE TIME

Sometimes with Bill but other times tom thought some of the stuff you did would be too "hardcore" (his words) for bill, so you two would go and do stuff

One time you and him pulled the fire alarm at school and poor Bill happened to be walking by just as you two ran out 😭 you guys felt so bad he was the one who got in trouble

His mom LOVES you so much, yk when you can't find your friends and you go downstairs and they're just talking shit w/ your mom 💀 that's you and their mom

You two would practice guitars all the time and even got matching stickers to put on the guitars

When you guys were little kids, you, bill and tom would play hide and seek and tom would always be yelling "I'm not ready yet!!" LIKE BRO, it literally says "ready or not, here I come!" 🙄

He steals a shit ton of your food

Like you'll just walk into your house and he's standing in the kitchen eating your food 💀

You two would smoke in the back of the school w/ bill and listen to music and you'd always end up laying your cheek on his shoulder

Now I think we all know tom likes girls, but if any of the girls who was flirting w/ him disrespected you, he would just laugh in their face.

Like one of the girls said "it's either me or y/n. Your choice." He just stood there like 💀 who do you think I'm choosing TF?

He's a fucking asshole so whenever yall went swimming he would splash water at you, or go and swim under water and grab your legs to freak you out

And he's always laughing his ass off when you scream after he does that 😐

He's a bitch fr

also for "some reason" he always hated when guys flirted w/ you

I wonder why 😐🤔

so whenever any guy came up to you, he would automatically come behind you and put his arm around your shoulders or wrapped around your waist or on your hips LIKE BRUH UR 13 WTF ARE U DOING

He somehow makes the guy leave w/o even calling himself your boyfriend (bc he's not) and he does this basically so you can't get mad at because "didn't even do anything"

TOLD YALL HES AN ASSHOLE OH MY GOD (still love him tho)

You guys watch movies together ALL THE TIME

Of course bill joins you guys too sometimes

But other times he has "other things to do" according to tom 🤨 so you guys end up watching movies together

YOU GUYS HE DOES THE THING WHERE YOU YAWN AND STRETCH YOUR ARMS OUT AND THEN PUT YOUR ARM OVER THE OTHER PERSONS SHOULDERS

istg that's in like every single American 80s movie

He thinks he's so slick abt it too

NEWS FLASH

He's not. Like at all.

It's cute though

After a while it starts to get super obvious he likes you

He doesn't flirt with girls as much and focuses his attention and flirtiness towards you, and he gets you little things that you like because "that's what friends do for eachother"

If you try and bring up that he likes you, he will deny the fuck out of it. You're his best friend and honestly he hates that he feels this way bc he doesn't want to ruin anything.

Little does his dumbass know that you like him too 💀

So one night when he comes to your window and knocks on it you go to open it and see him.

Apparently he wants to go swimming.

Which you deny because it's freezing cold water and night time (super scary, yall I'm like terrified of the dark if you didn't know)

But eventually he convinces you and you sneak out w/ him

And thats when he confessed to you, you guys were laughing and splashing around in the freezing water when he finally said something and yall finally became a thing

Thank god, because everybody was getting sick of the tension.

Once you guys start dating, oh.my.god.

You guys are making out all the time and at school he always has his arm wrapped around you, possessive mfckr 💀

This just increases as you guys get older too

And since you're his bestfriend, he doesn't treat you like he would treat any other girl. He likes you so much and doesn't want to ruin the friendship either.

If you're in the band, he's touching you whenever he can, especially on stage (even though there's only like 10 ppl there)

As he gets older, like I said before, it gets worse

Once Monsun came out and you guys started getting the fame, he made sure EVERYONE knew he was with you

He would wrap his arms around you on stage or practically shove his tongue down your throat in between songs (if you're in the band)

If you're not in the band, he talks about you in basically every single interview

He finds a way to add you into the conversation

His cuddles are literally the best

He's always the big spoon, but he loves holding you.

If you're in the band, he always has you sitting on his lap, or if you're on the tour bus he let's you lay on top of him and sleep.

He also LOVES seeing you in his clotheses

They're giant on you and he thinks you look adorable (SIZE KINK YALL, but that's for the next post)

He loves it when you're just sleeping in one of his giant t shirs and just some underwear, or no underwear 😉

Sometimes you get insecure when he flirts with girls at a meet and greet but he always reassures you that he never meant to make you feel that way and tries to cool it down

I know some of you guys think he would do this, but I honestly don't think tom is a cheater

Yeah maybe he would ghost girls or do some other shit but I don't see him as someone who would cheat on a girl

Especially one he loves so much, so you never have to worry

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED TY FOR THE REQUESTS, ILL DO THE NSFW SOON

OMG I FORGOT MY TAGLIST AGAIN SO SORRY

@hearts4kaulitz @burntb4bydoll @spelaelamela @bored0writer @fishinaband @billsleftnutt @dead-tapes

#tom kaulitz #tokio hotel #tom kaulitz x reader #tom kaulitz fanfics #tom kaulitz smut #tom kaulitz x reader #tom kaulitz sfw headcanons #tokio hotel edits #tokio hotel fanfics #tokio hotel smut #tokio hotel x reader #tokio hotel fanfic #smut #fluff

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t0ast-ghost · 21 days

Text

SEASON 2 TIME! Episode 1 and it’s… AMOK TIME!?! Oh boy:

- “Oh, Captain.” Yeah McCoy?

- McCoy is worried about Spock just like Chapel is worried about Spock

- The fucking nameplates, whatever they’re called that are stuck to the walls are hilarious

- He was having his period

- THEY ADDED DEFOREST KELLY TO THE OPENING CREDITS

- Does Spock have a knife behind his back??! Oh wait does Spock have an arcade machine in his room?

- OH MY GOD CHEKOV

- How can I even explain? It’s like he’s t posing or smt (mom I threw up kinda stance)

- The little fight between McCoy and Spock in the med bay, McCoy wants to know what’s wrong and Spock is not doing well

- CONVERSATION BETWEEN SULU AND CHEKOV HOLY COW

- “He’ll die. He’ll die, Jim.” Knowing that Spock needs to fuck during this episode makes it so much better, this really is how they decided to start the new season

- “The birds and the bees are not Vulcans, captain.”

- Spock pours his heart out to Kirk “I haven’t heard a word you’ve said.” WHAT KIRK? What?

- Chapel listening to Kirk and McCoy like “shut the fuck up and just kiss already.” She’s happy that Kirk decided to go to Vulcan tho

- SHE ENTERED SPOCKS ROOM WITHOUT HIM KNOWING???

- Their conversation is… strange

- “You’ve been most patient with my kinds of madness.”

- He can be accompanied by his closest friends. And he chooses Kirk and McCoy. My heart.

- “She is T’Pring, my wife.” Goddamn he’s been cheating on his wife with two men in space

- Imagine all the Vulcan’s could just hear Kirk and McCoy’s commentary

- What the fuck is happening.. they explained that she chose to make him fight… but what the fuck is happening

- “You think Spock can take him?” “I doubt it. Not in his present condition.” Brutal McCoy. Brutal.

- Those bells are annoying as shit

- When Spock talks to T’Pau he looks so small, could be the high angle and way he’s curled in on himself

- This montage is crazy.. and annoying. I really hate those bells

- “Jim don’t go and fight Spock.” “I’m gonna go and fight Spock.. out of friendship.”

- Babygirl your murderous rage filled look has captivated me

- BOOB WINDOW MOMENT! It’s just as beautiful as I thought it would be

- McCoy’s “SPOCK NO!” Is like. He doesn’t want his idiot boyfriends dead

- I cannot express emotion

- “He’s dead.” HES DEAD BUT ITS JIM MOMENT

- T’Pring is such a girlboss but holy crap that’s fucking ruthless

- OMG HES HAPPY OH MY GOD HEA SMILUNF OH MY I could watch this clip all day

- McCoy is so smart and we thank him everyday

- “When I found I killed my boyfriend, I lost any interest in my wife”

- To end it off we must have a bit of flirting. “In a pig’s eye.” Which according to google means ‘Expressing scornful disbelief at a statement’

Episode written by Theodore Sturgeon

Of fucking course it was him. See ya on the flip flop.

Masterpost

#star trek #amok time #star trek the original series #star trek tos #tos kirk #captain james kirk #tos spock #s'chn t'gai spock #spock #spirk #this one gets tagged spirk #tos bones #tos mccoy #leonard bones mccoy #tos chekov #pavel chekov #tos chapel #christine chapel

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blorbingqls · 7 months

Text

"We accept the love we think we deserve" - seeing this quote in terms of love and control as subjects in Only Friends

With @tomatoland 's brilliant post on TopMew on the above quote here , i think that with 7 eps in, we have understood that love and control are very well linked with ephemerality as a subject.

As i have previously linked epheremality with control here, i would like to talk about how love also makes us lose control with the impermanence of life. This is a long overdue post for 4 eps now.

linking the ephemerality squad here so that you can also share your opinions on this @waitmyturtles @lurkingshan @slayerkitty @respectthepetty @ranchthoughts (anyone else i am missing, pls tag, i really appreciate it)

TopMew

As Tomato (@tomatoland i hope you're okay with that nickname; i really tried to find a name on your blog for you) has referred in their post, Mew left his bubble of insecurities and got his heart broken. Completely legible and correct on his point. Top really loves Mew but now Mew has no reason to believe him anymore. With the play in their power dynamics, both of them loved each other and lost control of the way they wanted the relationship. Yes, if Top and Mew has stuck to their original plans - just reaching to the point of ideality and sex, then, this relationship should have ended after they got their goals. I dont think that sex was a goal for Mew as much as it was for Top, but, we can say it was in the secondary.

But as they fell in love, they, especially Top understood how the love he received from Mew is so much more than he thought he deserves (taking into account his trauma and past experiences). So , even though Mew is projecting his hurt by doing things that literally are asshole-ish as fuck on his accord, Top is willing to let go all of that since even he knows he is in the wrong this time and he is willing to lose all control he has on his life - of fame, money and insecurities in order to have Mew back. Top is willing to be as obsessive as Mew said he would be in a relationship in order to get and accept the love he think he deserves from Mew, even if it won't be good.

But, I also feel, the concept of love as explored in the series so far, not just runs along with TopMew because of the books, but also with all the remaining couples in the show. I won't discuss P'Yo and her partner, CheumApril in this segment, because I want more angles on this from the coming episodes in order to validate my point. But, I'll discuss this point with our other views on the couples: RayMew, TopBoston, SandRay, and BostonNick.

RayMew

Now, RayMew is a pairing that is being enforced on the viewers for the past 3 episodes now and the last episode shows a pretty good view of how as characters, Mew and Ray view each other.

For Ray, his love is unconditional for Mew because it correlates with that fact that Mew was the only reason who made him stay in this world - who made him believe that he deserves the love from his friends, the love which he didn't get from his parents or any potential partners. But potential partners were never in the scene because Mew was Ray's emergency contact. Their relationship runs deep and however much you may think, even if Ray thinks Mew's love for him could be more as a friend, he also believes that because as he is so damn shitty and a fucking burden to society, he can't ask for more from Mew for the sake of their friendship and his esteem. He keeps entertaining the idea of them as partners several times, but, until ep 7, Mew has never entertained the idea that his love for Ray will be any worthy of more than a friend. Because, Mew wants to continue making the boundary and keep the control, according to me.

Now, as Mew has entertained the idea, i am interested how it pans out in the next episode (not very promising tho). just linking this out here because its so fucking interesting.

TopBoston

We will mainly take here Boston's viewpoint since Top gave up on this since the very beginning and became firm with it post ep 3. He gives no flying fucks about the possiblity of it. Top considers Boston to be a one night stand and a one night stand only.

Boston, as has mentioned so many times, considers Top to be top tier; the person who gives him something as close to love because as an Machiavellian prince (refer here) Boston considers Top to be the only worthy competitor in his reign. And he really doesn't care if he hurt others feeling. Mind you, Boston has been the most truthful to himself, maybe not to others. And as a prince, his love speaks volume through keeping them in their reign because ultimately Boston wants power and control in his arena. That's the fucking politics of it. And Top is the only worthy contender who can damage his reign. Hence, he wants the top tier power as much as possible, and only Top can give him that. Him fucking off to America, that can easily happen through Top, because he is a very well known hotel chain owner/manager. So, Boston wants his loves, because he very well thinks he deserves it and he accepts it as much as he can. But, he also knows that for him, he can't make this love into a weakness, because that will be out of his control.

Boston however, as Mew so incredibly pointed out, is gullible. Ray couldn't see through him, but, MEW FUCKING DID. That is why even though Boston didn't consider Mew as his competitor, he was fucking jealous of him because Mew got Top and was chosen over eventually by Top. Mew has the power that Boston didn't think he had, till now. And tbh, Mew is now winning the game, despite his insecurities with his relationship with Top.

THE WAR HAS BEGUN, MY FRIENDS.

SandRay

God, I have so many feeling for these babies. Where to start? Okay so, you know in second episode, Sand built that boundary with Ray regarding friends with benefits? Well, it has backfired on him. COMPLETELY.

As ep 8 preview says, I love how Sand realised the fact that they were never friends to begin with, for even to have made that boundary to make sense. Sand is a pathetic little man, as so many of you have pointed out, but, why is he the way he is?

His incredible nature to be so caring of others around him has made him feel like its his responsibility to take care of everything. His mother, his business, his money and job, his style and even his fucking roommate. Now, Sand is so emotionally attached to this damsel in distress, pathetic burden to society (affectionate) Ray, that even before they became friends, he made Ray his responsibility. Sand has no right to ask for love from Ray, because they are not friends, lest friends with benefits to ask for any care towards himself. But he selfishly asks, for the first time.

Because, as a person who keeps on taking care of others endlessly, it is harder for them to ask for the care and love they expect and deserve from whom they love while keeping their self esteem intact. And for Ray to completely shut him down at that time, and him still following Ray while he was drunk, makes him so much real because you feel responsible for that person. You are their emergency staff, even if they don't consider you to be.

While Ray comes from another perspective itself. He initially wanted to know Sand more as a person, because he is a person who wanted to explore the life beyond what has been given to him. He is a spoilt brat, and when he realised that he can't buy Sand's love, he explored it with him.

But because I think Ray believes that Sand will always be for him, even when he does asshole-ish behaviour (because thats where everyone leaves) he has taken Sand for granted. The backup option. Anything goes wrong with his ideal relationship, he can always go running back to Sand, because Sand has become his addiction.

Apart from drugs and alcohol, Mew and Sand are the only people he can keep coming back to. For Mew, it is only at a cost. At some conditions, only for something personal. While maybe Ray wants explore that possibility with Sand, but he is afraid. He is afraid that Sand will go away. just as Mew did. A person who can only consider him a friend and nothing more. Even if he wants to explore that possibility with both of them, loving them at the same time, he can't make people his priority, because he doesn't know how to do that. Nor does he think he's worthy of it. So, he accepts whatever he thinks he deserves off Sand's love and care.

I am interested to see how it pans out for these idiots once his relationship with Mew falls out. I am concerned for Ray so much. Give him access to therapy and rehab soon pls. Sand and Ray's father I think are going in that direction, with this speculation by @prapaiwife.

BostonNick

Now, our final pair has been the most interesting couple in this show so far. Why do I say that?

Well, for Nick, Boston is one of the top-tier gays. As pointed out by Boston, he likes bad guys. And lets be honest, Boston, most dishonest, cunning bastard out there. So, Nick believes that he will be that gay who lands the top tier dick and fix this problem. Right?

Wrong. Nick very well knows this won't happen. Still he keeps hoping for more as Boston doesn't know how to not be a hypocrite as a prince. He keeps giving some here and there false hope through his actions, not words which makes Nick believe he's special, but he's not. He takes whatever love he thinks Boston gives him, despite him not being his number one, despite Boston cheats on him over and over again. He just wants whatever of love as actions that Boston can give to him because that proves wrong all of his low self esteem. So he accepts whatever he thinks he deserves because he can't ask for more in a bed friend relationship. With Boston's guard so up and his will to leave the country, Nick knows he can't do anything but try to make him stay. Even if that's a 99% chance of not happening. He tries because he doesn't want Boston to hate him. He only wants him to love him. Because for him, thats enough.

The sadness keeps on piling up for these outsider, hard working roommates, doesn't it?

While, for Boston, he is nothing but a rebound from the angst of not getting Top. He wants a serious relationship, and maybe, he does look for it in Nick, maybe not, but he doesn't love Nick. He doesn't love Top either. For Boston, Nick is a toy he wanted to play with.

Because he cares about his reign, his reputation. And, Nick realised that. Hence, Mew contacted him and Nick gave that information to Mew. They will bring Boston down together because Nick somewhere believes he can get him back.

But Nick babygirl, he doesn't love you bub. He doesn't. And, it hurts so much. Because Boston keeps on taking from you, whatever he deserves. And that is your care for him, for granted. He is a leech bub. He is.

Now, how does it all link to ephemerality and control?

Well, love itself is impermanent. It doesn't stay.

The world knows this and still we chase it. And at an age as our characters, we chase love and freedom like anything. In order to gain control. We take up jobs, more courses to learn, experiment with love and relationships, with people because the time is ticking and people say now is the age. We break hearts and get it broken.

As P'Jojo says "This show is Hurt People Hurt People", tell me who hasn't been hurt by love, by control and by living at its time? And also by missing out each of these experiences because you were lonely with your own life and burdens?

We accept the hate and love the life gives us, because this is what we think we deserve out of this. And tbh, these feelings, are never permanent. They keep changing with time, and that's the only thing thats permanent.

Change is the only thing that remains permanent.

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kookieminsuga · 4 months

Text

The Wolf and his Coyote - Part 4

Part 4! Things are starting to look up!

Summary; Jungkook is the leader of the biggest biker gang in Korea. He is never interested in people unless they can benefit him in some way. That is until he runs into a girl who is the only person who appears to not be afraid of him. New to Korea, Amalia is an artist who spends most of her days working on her comics at her friend Minhyuks diner who also happens to be Jungkooks favourite hang out spot. What will happen when Jungkooks, a man who's heart seems to be frozen in ice, interest is peeked for the first time since he can remember?

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4

Pairing: Gang leader jk x Tsundere, artist Amalia

Rating: 18+ do not interact if you are a minor!

Word count: 2.3k

Genre: Biker gang bts, action, romance, there will be smut down the line, angst, violence, humour.

Warnings: potential triggers, signs of trauma, Jungkook is SMITTEN, mentions of past, motorcycle ride, voice raising, arguing.

Amalias pov:

The roaring sound of engines cut through my thoughts, effectively snapping me out of my hyper fixated state. I look out the window to my right and notice 6 guys on motorcycles pull up. As they take off their helmets one by one, I notice it’s the guys from yesterday. Jungkooks gang. I guess this is the end of my peaceful day.

Well, it had been very peaceful apart from the moment he decided to come talk to me. I still don’t know what he wants with me. I wish he would just stay away. At least he’s not too pushy. Like him.

I shake my head, not letting those thoughts creep up on me. You’re safe Amalia. It’s all in the past now.

The doors to the diner fly open as one by one those guys start piling in. Starting with one handsome man, black, long hair, cat like eyes, resting bitch face. He looks around the restaurant for his “owner” I assume. His eyes land on me as I look at him and he snickers before walking towards the other side of the restaurant as he spots Jungkook.

What was that? Anyways, it’s time for me to go. I start packing my tablet and research materials back into my bag. I finish my cup of tea that Min had brought me earlier and get up to let him know I’m leaving.

The restaurant is pretty busy for dinner time so I just manage a wave as I step out and head towards my bus stop. The bus arrives not too long after that and I start my commute home.

The route is pretty long. I start with one bus, then a train and another bus. It’s better than sitting at home by myself all day tho, so it’s worth it. I read a book with my headphones on as per usual. About 20 minutes later, I arrive at the train station. As I wait for my train, I hear an announcement being made so I move my headphones to the side to listen.

“Train towards blue lines are all cancelled for the day due to technical issues, sorry for the inconvenience.”

Oh, well hell. I start to think of other ways to get home. A taxi would cost way too much from here for my broke butt. It’s too far to walk as well. I wonder if there’s other buses that lead close enough.

I start to walk towards the street, where all the buses are and scan the signs to see where they went. Ah, there is a bus that leads close to the other bus I have to take, however it only comes every hour. I look at the time and, of course, the last one left 6 minutes ago. I guess I’ll be waiting here for a while.

I sit at the stop by the street and take my book out again, getting ready for this long hour.

Jungkooks pov:

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” I wave at my group before heading off on my bike.

The breeze hits my body as I zigzag through the streets of Seoul. As I drive, there only one thing going through my mind. “She hates your type”. My type. What is my type? According to Minhyuk I have become self absorbed. It shows that he doesn’t know me like he used to. Although the boy he knew is now dead and gone, I still don’t really know the man I have become. All I know is the hatred I feel towards him.

I shake my head, attempting to shake off these negative thoughts and feelings, heading towards my usual patrol.

As I pass by the train station, I notice something that makes me instantly turn my bike around. Is that..?

I make my way back to the bus stop where a girl is resting her head on the side of the bus stop, sat on the bench with a book in her lap. As I approach her, I notice that it is indeed her. The girl from the diner. Minhyuks friend.

I park my bike in front of the stop, there being barely any cars that pass at this time, and walk up to her sleeping form. I look at her for a minute and she doesn’t even flinch. I kneel down in front of her and look over her features. Long lashes, small but plump lips and a beauty mark right below her left eye.

She really is nothing special.

Then, her eyes suddenly shoot open, dropping the book in her hand and letting out a scream.

“Hey hey, it’s just me.” I say, still on one knee before her.

I take my helmet off so she can see me more clearly.

She looks down at me and then at her surroundings as if analyzing the situation.

“Wha- what time is it? Why is it dark? Why are you here?” She says as she pulls out her phone and checks the time.

“Oh no! I missed the last bus!” She gets up frantically looking around.

I take my time standing and take a guess as to what had happened.

“Well considering you left the diner quite a while ago, I’m guessing you fell asleep here waiting for your bus until now, did you not? As for why I’m here, I was just driving by when I noticed you and just had to come say hello.” I say with a smile.

“Way to state the obvious.” She says as she rolls her eyes and sits back down.

She appears to be thinking, and as she said she missed her last bus, I guess she doesn’t have a way home.

I roll my eyes right back at her before heading to my bike. I feel her eyes on the back of my head. I lift the seat, pull out my spare helmet and turn back to give it to her.

“Here, I’ll take you home.” I say.

“Why would I trust a stranger with my address?” She says crossing her arms and legs and looking down.

“Oh so you don’t trust me with your address but you trust everyone else enough to fall asleep at a public bus stop?” I say, raising my voice.

I could see her visibly flinch as I did.

“Who are you to tell me what I can and can’t do? You don’t even know me!” She says, visibly upset.

I sigh and take a deep breath. Arguing with her will get us nowhere.

“Look, I’m sorry I raised my voice. I know you’re new to town, but this area is very unsafe. Especially for woman. So when I saw you sleeping here without a care in the world for your safety I..” I cut myself off.

“You what?” She asks, turning to look at me in the eyes for the first time.

“I know you probably won’t believe me considering what Minhyuk has probably said about me, but I’m not a bad guy. I care about him a lot and you’re his friend. So no harm will come to you around me, ok?” I say truthfully, avoiding what I was going to say before.

She continues to sit there and stares at me. I see the gears shifting behind her scared eyes that she tried to pass off as anger.

“Fine then, you can stay here.” I say as I turn to place the helmet back in my bike.

Then I feel a tug at my back. It takes me a moment, but I turn to see her looking at the floor with her hand grasping the hem of my leather jacket.

“I’m sorry. I just.. I..” She stuttered. I could tell she was trying to say something very difficult for her.

“Its ok, you don’t have to tell me.” I said gently.

She nods and I turn to hand her the helmet. She takes it and puts it on like she already knows how.

“Have you ever been on a bike before?” I ask.

“I have. I can drive one too.” She says matter of factly.

My eyes grow wide as I stare at her in shock.

“What? Is it that shocking? Is it because I’m a woman?” She says crossing her arms and staring me down.

“No, I just… I didn’t expect it.” I say while sheepishly rubbing the back of my neck. I quickly put on my helmet. Why does my face feel warm?

I get on my bike and look towards her. She still seems unsure, looking down and fidgeting with her hands.

“Common, I don’t bite.” I say, reaching my hand out towards her.

She looks at my hand for a few seconds before reaching out and taking it in hers.

My heart skips when our skin touches. What was that? Get a hold of yourself Jungkook.

She then comes closer and throws her leg over, taking a seat behind me. I feel her trying to push back and turn my head to see her grab a hold of the bars on the back.

I sigh in frustration.

“Just hold onto me please? It’s much safer that way.” I say revving my engine.

“Are you sure?” She says shyly.

This girl goes from shy to attitude to shy in an instant huh?

I smile, “Yes I’m sure.” I reach back and wrap her hands around my waist.

With her front pressed against my back, I head off in the direction of her home.

As we drive through the streets, I feel her looking around as if my hometown is all new to her. I hear her little gasps as we come into view of beautiful sceneries. I could feel her loosen and tighten her grip on me as we turn and speed up and slow down. It’s funny, I usually don’t like people riding behind me but I don’t mind it with her. She’s not purposely trying to grab a feel as she holds onto me, like the other girls I’ve taken for rides passing it off as just holding on for safety, no she’s different. She keeps her hands tied together across my stomach and doesn’t move them an inch.

We approach her street and I come to a full stop. Strangely, I feel slightly upset at having arrived already. She gets off first and then I do the same, kicking the stand up to park. I turn to see she has already taken off her helmet and has the widest smile on her face.

Woah. What a beautiful smile..

What was I just thinking? Snap out of it! Luckily, my helmet was still on.

Her hair blows in the breeze as she looks at me.

“Thank you for the ride home. It’s been a while since I’ve been on a motorcycle, I forgot how great it feels. Oh and I’m sorry I was so rude.” She says while fiddling with her fingers.

I take my helmet off and give her a smile.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s good that you don’t easily trust people. That intuition will keep you safe around these parts.” I say genuinely.

All of a sudden her eyebrows furrow as if she just thought of something.

“Wait.. I never gave you my address. How did you know where I live?” She says while taking a step back.

Oh right. She still doesn’t know I was there that night.

“Yeah about that, I mean, I didn’t want to just say I know where you live. Probably would have sounded creepy at the time.”

“Well it’s sure creepy now, so can you answer my question?” She says with her hands on her hips.

I guess the attitude is back.

I laugh at her ever changing personality, which for some reason, I find adorable.

“The truth is, these are the streets I usually patrol at this time a night. I don’t know what Minhyuk has told you, but my gang is not like the usual gang. We like to watch over our city and keep the innocents safe.” She just stands there looking at me as if urging me to continue. So I do.

“One night, I was patrolling as I usually do, when I crossed by this alley and saw a man following a girl. I was about to step in when suddenly, this girl turned and smacked the guy in the balls with her bag.” I laugh at that last part, still finding it funny.

I see her eyes light up in recognition.

“Oh! You were there that night? I did find it odd that he didn’t try to follow me.” She pondered with her hand on her chin.

“Yeah, don’t worry, he won’t be following you again.” I smirk.

She stares me down.

“What?” I ask.

“You didn’t kill him, did you?” She says.

I look at her, my eyes then turning serious.

“I don’t kill people. Not unless I have to. It’s not my place to take lives.” I say stuffing my hands in my pockets.

Although the question stings, I do understand why she would ask. I am the head of a gang after all. It’s true that I don’t like to kill people, but it would be a lie to say I never have.

“Ok well, thanks again for the ride.’ She pauses,’ and for protecting me that night I guess.” She says, looking up at me.

She hands over the helmet.

“You’re welcome.” I look down at her smiling softly.

“Have a good night.” She simply says as she starts walking down the alley towards her home.

“Hey!” I say before she reaches her door.

She turns and looks at me with a questioning raised eyebrow.

“What’s your name?” I ask.

She looks at me for a moment before answering.

“It’s Amalia, but you can call me Lia. Consider that an honour.” With that, she turns and heads inside.

I can't help but laugh at her last comment.

Amalia.. that’s a different name. I like the sound of it.

I start walking down the street, beginning my patrol. Unable to wipe this stupid smile off my face.

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ask-the-totally-real-peppino · 9 months

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Hey there! You seem a little lost, is there any way I could help?

Bean: "!!!"

Bean: "Who said that! And how do you know my name!"

Bean: "Oh cheese and beans, nobody said this was one of them fae forests! I already gave up my firstborn, I don't have much else to give!!!"

Bean: "Look- Look up...?"

Bean: "I should not trust it, but they already have my name, what more is there to lose..."

Bean: "Oh! Not what I was expecting..."

Bean: "Actually, I don't know what I was expecting, but still."

Bean: "Uh, hey there! I don't really have anything of value to trade, and I imagine I'd be pretty chewy if you wanted to eat me, so mayb-"

Bean: "Eeeeohhhhhhh!!! You're just a little guy!!! A little guy who is so ears!!!"

Bean: "Does this mean I finally get to go on a magical adventure with a talking animal companion, which is something I have wanted since I was like seven!!!"

Bean: "Oough, you're so cute!! And fluffy!!! And you got a little heart on your tummy!!!"

(??? the Garlic Babulb (i.e. you guys) have joined the party!!!)

Bean: (gasp) "Wait! I gotta finish my current quest before any other adventures!"

Bean: "So, why am I in the forest? Well, I was mainly looking for my... Uh... Friend...? Yeah, friend..."

Bean: "And we're kinda new to the area, so I got a bit lost, heh... Know of any way out of here?"

(Tada! This is how Bean will receive asks from you guys! And unlike Pep's phone, you can interact with the world with fewer limitations! Still some tho, so lemme list what you can do!;

Ask questions, of course!

Minor magical abilities (M!As or summoning small gifts)

Flight

Prehensile toesies for grabbing (can also use wing thumbs or mouth)

Appear as a singular being, or a swarm (several beings)

Eat things! (Garlic Babulbs are usually vegetarian, but we are making an exception here, hehe)

Enhanced Hearing

And more?

And not quite an ability, but this little guy is somewhat of their own character, and may occasionally act on their own accord, without any input from you guys, so probably keep that in mind hehe)

#intermission post #oc: bean #little guy does not have a name so no tag for them right now #but yes another very self-indulgent choice by making you guys a little purple bat creature #I have more to say but it is time for bed #so goodnight and have fun hehe

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invaderpinnecone · 3 months

Text

Rant about California from WTTT

Tbh honest if you look more into his cannon character there's a good reason why he doesn't have friends and I'm not saying it not sad that he's lonely bcz it still is tbh but when you look into his character he's very pretentious and self centered he kinda of believe that he can't be wrong and force his ideas on to other an example of this is him trying to get the states to be vegan and if someone else tries to force their ideas he start to argue with them not to mention he's a performative ally but through all this you can tell how him having no friends hurts him an examples is when he said that he's used to ppl leaving him so he probably acts the way he does bcz he knows their just going to leave him again also another reason the others probably don't want to be friends with him is the fact he has been trying not to relapse since the 1995.he can't go a day with out arguing with ppl he has ruined things for the other state to the point they look down upon him for that not to mention he desperately trust to make friends and just won't leave Washington and Orgeron alone even tho they hinted at him they don't want to talk like some ppl r forgotten that he's not an uwu smol bean nd he's actually just a loser whos pretentious nd won't leave ppl alone nd over does things not to mention if someone is wrong then their bad according to him nd he tries to make himself look good also he's just rude for no reason sometimes if something his fault he'll brush it off or completely ignore it

nd this isn't a post about say how it not sad he doesn't have friends bcz it is sad but when you look into his character there a good reason why he doesn't have any friends

I honestly made this post cuz I h8 how missed characterized he is by the fandom

Honestly o feel like some1 might get mad at me for this post for some reason but idc cuz this is just my 2 cents on California so thxs for reading this

#wttt #wttt california #honestly im just tired ppl always make him a uwu smol femboy #cuz hes literally a self-centered pretentious loner #whos a hipster and a loner #you can still hc him but like its just weird to me to ignore his cannon character #wttsh

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h-harleybaby · 1 year

Note

could you cartman w/ a plus sized reader (thats also new to school)? can be sfw and/or nsfw ofc

OOOOOOOH

Good idea

My brains a lil fried but I’ll try writing it

When you're plus sized but grew up with someone who always spoke bad of plus sized people and you feel like your wording for all of this is bad

Eric Cartman x plus sized reader hcs

SFW

• Cartman has the biggest crush on you, but he refuses to admit it because he says it would make him look less tough. He's really trying to make it look like he doesn't have a crush on you

• It's bullshit and everyone knows it but he's trying to not make his crush on you so completely obvious... it's really obvious with how often he stares at you and calls you pretty without thinking

• He defends you with his life if anyone calls you fat and denies it like it he's a lawyer

• He probably drops the most obvious hints to you, but if you still don't know he'll ask you out

• Once y'all start dating tho, he's all over you. He's always holding you hand or has his arm around your shoulder

• I can guarantee, half of the time when he sees you he's thinking "HOW CAN SOMEONE BE THIS PRETTY???"

• He also keeps taking you on dates to restaurants and stuff, I mean y'all both love food but jesus he orders the whole menu

• I mean he's a huge guy (BECAUSE HE'S A HEAVY WEIGHT WRESTLER PLEASE LET ME MAKE HIM A WRESLTER) but his eating habits scare you

• Eric keeps bragging about how you're the prettiest and kindest person ever, and ya know what? His friends believe it because only the most patient and kind person in South Park could date him (according to them)

• In private he's even worse than he is in public, you're so soft he just wants to squish you!

• He also probably thinks you're the best at cuddling because you're so soft

• Y'all take the best naps together because he's comfy and so are you, so it's really a win win. He also loves when you lay on top of him, you're super warm and it's like a weighted blanket

• He would probably try to bench you just for the fun of it, he really just likes picking you up

• I read this somewhere but he also loves you wearing revealing clothes and tight clothes, it just makes him so crazy??

• He's straight up simping but he'll never admit that (ngl actually he'd probably write about it in his diary)

• Omg if you have hip dips and love handles?? He's done for, he just loves them sm

• Honestly, that's probably Eric's favorite part of you. Also your thighs but we won't talk about that rn

• He kinda understands if you're insecure about them tho, like he hates that you're insecure about it because they look so good but he'll definitely keep his mouth shut and let you talk

• He's not the best at comforting but he'll try! He understands how you feel but also he doesn't at the same time??

NSFW

• He doesn't often give oral but when he does, he prefers for you to sit on his face

• He loves your thighs sm, so you sitting on his face is heaven

• There's been multiple instances where you've almost sworn he's stopped breathing and you try to get up

• Only to then have him hook his arms around your thighs and keep you in place on his face

• He definitely makes you cum a bunch of times when you sit on his face too

• Eric probably also wants to just sit with his head between your thighs while he plays games just for the hell of it.

•He likes to turn his head when y'all do that and give you hickeys and kisses on your thighs randomly because it makes you all riled up

• He loves leaving hickeys on you where people can see, like your neck or your thighs so people can them when you wear skirts

• He has CONSISTANTLY made jokes about how dying to your thighs would be the best death because you keep saying you're to heavy and stuff

• Also he loves your boobs- (honestly he loves all of you but boobs specifically is ya know) istg he's a perv like Kenny when it comes to you. He would love to stuff his face between your boobs

• That and he loves the way they bounce when he fucks you, it's almost mesmerizing to him

• Ya know what, scratch that just them bouncing in general. Like when you walk- or jump... or do anything. Eric is really just always checking you out

• Tbh he loves a girl with a tummy, he definitely kisses it a lot to tease you a bit

• And ik I said in other hcs he's more into degrading but he would also praise you (and ig your body) a lot

• He also loves putting you in a mating press, it's probably one of his favorite positions

• When you ride him he probably grabs your hips and fucks into you when you get tired

• It probably leaves marks on your hips and you love it

I'M SORRY I COMPLETELY GAVE UP-

#south park x reader #cartman x reader #eric cartman x reader #h harleybaby needs help #south park x reader headcanons #eric cartman x y/n #Harley’s anons <33 #harley’s requests!

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strugglingatart · 3 months

Text

Jr Year ep 3

This is me live blogging bc I need to get thoughts out also would love fandom friends full spoilers bellow the cut just so no one accidentally reads anything they don’t want to this will be long

EX GIRLFRIEND I will legit fight Brennan why did we at least not see it....

btw me saying I will fight brennan is mostly a joke like I get why we made all these changes, I don't actually love everything but I do trust all these people enough that it will serve the story and play out great

Immediately clocking the fairy festival (Frosty whatever it is I'm so sorry Brenan says it and then it's immediately out of my head) connection we love

love love looove the aguefort projections, so many Arthur statues!

Riz's manic energy is such a vibe, not exactly healthy but a vibe I get

the astral realm where all the dead gods go

lowkey love that Gorgug and Fabian are solid like the boys lowkey play them so dumb but that's just teenage boys for ya (also thought maybe Fabian would be in less trouble but still some so this makes my anxiety relax a bit, only issues we already knew off)

Actually for the wizards I'm really chill is an A+ and also probably true sentence

ah the answer I needed about Fig's multiclass

Ah the society of shadows again, and a college for sad alone adventureres lol

their record is bad but it should be worse when talking about the one person sports team is SO FUNNY to me

the friends bit is so good, everythig about it, all the laughing, Emily failing intentionally, Ally letting it work even tho it shouldn't, perfection

Lydia still making half orc meals we love and stan

Adaine-Riz friendship is SO IMPORTANT to me

the sibbling energy our girls have are amazing

the Thisstlesprings will literally just go into sex ed and Gorgug's reaction is gold everytime

"Can I run from you?" LMAO

ok I'm getting the silly energy they were talking about now

listennnn we are gonna get into Gorgug isn't a good barbarian according to his teacher again aren't we? it's why it wasn't pre approved? I will fight this teacher he literally saved the world twice as mostly a barbarian let him be a chill barbarian

WHY DID GILLEAR NOT TALK TO FIG

yes Fabian make Fig go to class

yay new lunch lad

also I legit thought the time quangle was just an explain continuity errors away and also get rid of the agueforts who break encounters thing but it might be related to the plot now that it's come back up in the recap and in the intercom in story

Fig has Gillear's luck confirmed ok

Zac's physical comedy continues to be SO GOOD

the sillies really are here I'm laughing so much

straight away this lady is insane

four different dogs is such a good burn, love agro Kristen

do not trust this people at all

ohhh skullcleaver, Katya's aunt? cousin? I don't recall the seven mentioning that

listen Fabian's house being party house is lowkey dangerous

Kristen being a disaster gay even when trying to help friends flirt is a mood and a half

ooohh I like mazey

don't trust the attomaton tbh

also yes I just thought of this now so it's late but going back to Kipperlilly whatever her name is, like homegirl can't make big institutional changes youre class president not on staff

rules always being followed to the letter is tbh scary there has to be room for interpretation, perfect order doesn't exist

YES PLOT love how it's already too much bc mood and "yeah I cannot think about that right now" and "embodyment of writers block" oh this season is gonna continue to hit me in the face

Wanda Childa is wild

she was a turncoat, more importantly she was a mirror

why is Ally's hey girlie voice so terrifying

fully forgot porter was the barbarian teacher and I will fight porter LET GORGUG MULTICLASS...

aaaa I'm going into a worry is here, legit thought it was gonna be in battle but I love Gorgug's energy here bc I've been there where you do things kinda nontraditional way and have teachers make the achivements sound so much worse just bc i didn't get there through the path they wanted me to take

love terpsichore immediately

they get 30's fairly often now we love level 10

fabian is such an arsty kid at heart and always was like Lou wanted to make a jock maybe but never did

listen trashbag sandwich is worrying but it was indeed fine

I get that Riz is type A but he is the non annoying kind

homegirl who desn't like technicalities and ppl gettign away with stuff got out in one huh? also I have no idea what that means the teacher found her? what?

Jawbone I love you and also I worry about how much I relate to Riz

I so hate this girl I'm with Adaine, she's the worst we've had

oh no the Applebee's

ok so I have a huge like essay somewhere about both why I don't like how Kristen is dealing with Cassandra but also how I 10000% understand her as someone who abandoned religion but was then forced to still be in similar roles and religious enviornments after that somewher in my head buut also who cares but just know it exists

omg Bucky giving her a hug I cry

Kristen is not doing well but that was actually a pretty good parental confrontation tbh I'm proud

oh damn poor Adaine I'm sosorry my dear you don't deserve this

Brennan really went you know what? we are not having your wildness work for you this time Emily, your shit is catching up to you

yay fig went to class finally

we got SO many designs with all the teachers and such and they are all so great

oh nooo Kristeeen, each step I take the step behind me vanishes is such a raw ass line like this poor teenager is legit so lost like someone help her please (also that was a relatable little monologue.. am I ok?)

love the cleric teacher a lot

ok but i love cassandra alright twilight, mystery and doubt are such a cool ass domain you can sell it and embrace it Kristen I belive in youuuu

but also again: a good ass teacher

awn I love that they're back in the forest

again Siobhan promised no taers and I have cried twice now maybe three times in three eps??? rude af

the bad kids should've helped with the whole Cassandra stuff I just realised I'm so sorry

oh shit not Kalina again.... I feel like i got stabbed in the heart

oh I am sooo pumped for next ep!!!!!

#fantasy high #dimension 20 #fhjy #riz gukgak #kristen applebees #fabian aramais seacaster #adaine o'shaughnessey #gorgug thistlespring #fig faeth

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iraprince · 1 year

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hi idk if this is a weird question but like. how do u Make Art with adhd? you mentioned in your comic that you struggled w various other creative hobbies, but like drawing feels to me always like the Big Bad Thing I Cannot Ever do. even tho i want to make it my career LOL

how'd you get past that?

not a weird question at all! this is actually a question i ask myself pretty much every day, bc generally my answer to "how do i make art with adhd" has always been: With Great Difficulty, lmfao.

it's hard! i am not always good at it! i made art my job bc i realistically couldn't imagine being truly happy with anything else; if that wasn't the case, i'm not sure i would be doing this. like, that ends up being a big divide between the hobbies mentioned in that comic vs art, which is something that it seems (according to viewing my online activity) i do "Consistently;" it is my career, so there's a level of like, urgency and necessity there that my hobbies don't have. which, like, obviously my advice is not "make it your job so that you HAVE to OR ELSE :)" because it doesn't work like that. i am spending an amount of time OR-ELSE-ing that i think might surprise ppl, and i am frankly very lucky that my wife is the primary provider for our family, because it gives me a safety net for when my brain makes a loud grinding noise and then belches a big cloud of smoke and i have to spend a week hitting it with a wrench.

ANYWAY. this is going to get long bc i have a lot of thoughts abt it. there's really no one answer to getting past it, and i am not "past it," i don't know if i think anyone ever can be! we can just try really hard to keep going in ways that won't burn us out. if i had to pull out the absolute #1 most important thing i've learned over the past few years, it is -- and i know this sounds like dumb corny bullshit but you really have to stay with me here -- being kind and patient with yourself.

i'm being so dead serious. if beating yourself up and freaking out and constantly agonizing over how much more you Could be drawing worked, you would be drawing right now. if beating ourselves up over our output worked, EVERYONE would be drawing ALL the time. it doesn't fucking work! it does not! do literally anything other than yelling at yourself. it's bullshit. it's fuckery. it does not work.

on the other hand, cultivating as much kindness and patience and compassion as i can muster -- saying, "well, it looks like i just don't have it today. that's okay, let's try again tomorrow," even if i'm saying it through clenched teeth and i don't really believe it -- THAT works, because it chips away at the idea of drawing being life or death. it's probably a very similar feeling to you describing art as The Big Bad Thing. of course if you hang all your self worth on it and let it become immense and dominating, it's going to be hard to interact with it! it's scary! it becomes easier to avoid it than to try to tackle it and then feel disappointed in yourself in a more active way (vs. just disappointed in yet another day where u didn't try). but every time i sigh and say "okay" when my brain is screaming and crying bc art just is not working, and i decide to rest and try again tomorrow, 1. it is easier to do a little bit of work the next day when i'm rested than it is to do ANY work when i chain myself to my desk for 9 hours and demand results, and 2. i learn that it is not the end of the world. it just isn't. and so art gets smaller, and less frightening, and it can just be my job (something i have to wrangle my adhd around just like anything else, like grocery shopping and keeping the house clean and keeping up with my friends) instead of some huge destructive boss battle with my identity hanging in the balance.

sometimes you have to talk to yourself like a little kid. if a little kid came to you upset and was like "i wanna draw but i just can't. i don't know why." you would (hopefully) not be like, "whatever, i guess you're just not cut out for it then!" or whatever other mean shit we say to ourselves when we can't draw. you would be like, "well, okay. do you want me to sit with you? how do we start? where's some stuff we can draw with? hm, i can't really think of what to draw either. did you see anything pretty or cool today? let's just draw some shapes." etc etc. and if the kid got frustrated and it still wasn't working you'd be like, you know what, that was a good try. let's have some lunch and try again later. and you deserve that same level of patience, and that level of CURIOUS problem-solving ("what can we try? what might be easier?") instead of, like, adversarial/blame-assigning problem solving ("what the fuck is the matter with you? why can't you just do it?")

also, shaking things up!! one of the most frustrating things abt adhd for me is i'll find a new strategy that Works, but it only works for like, two weeks or whatever, and then it stops working and i have to do something else. i have had a way better time just accepting that that's how things work vs thinking of these cycles as "failures."

if i start dreading working at my desk, i throw a block of printer paper onto a clip board and work on the couch for a few weeks. when that stops working, i get back on drawpile and do all my warmup sketches on an interactive canvas, with strangers around me (virtual coffeeshop lol?). when i get tired of that, then maybe i'm ready to be alone with clip studio again. nope, still not working? okay, let's stream while i'm working for a while then. let's start drawing differently. let's change the background color i draw on. just, like, i keep shaking things up to see if maybe i can trick my brain into feeling like we're doing something totally new for a while, and a lot of the times it works, and when it does not work i am not an asshole to myself, which is, as i keep reiterating, super vital.

when i make the most art is when i get super excited about something and i let myself go apeshit. (there's a reason my guild wars 2 stuff is corralled on a sideblog lmao.) when commissions start grinding to a halt for me, a lot of times it's bc i've let them become Tasks on a to-do list instead of remembering that each piece is a DRAWING; it can help for me to sit down and go through each piece in my queue and really look at it, and remind myself that these are DRAWINGS and i LOVE drawing, and to point out to myself stuff in the wip that i like, and stuff i'm excited to draw the next time i work on it. it's very easy to flatten stuff into just An Obligation if you stress too much about it, but it's very helpful to slow down and step back and remind yourself WHY you care that much. it's not just bc you have to.

i don't really want this to get much longer than it already is, especially when i don't really have concrete tips so much as rambling opinions and examples of stuff that Kind Of works for me Sometimes. i think the tldr is: relax, be nice, keep it fresh. i hope at least some of this is helpful!

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