#all i have is myself now and i dont know what to do | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

matchakuracat · 2 days

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chronically ill/physically disabled people, how do you deal with doctors appointments? what do you say/do to advocate for yourself? im autistic and not diagnosed with a chronic illness yet and i really struggle to know what to say to get them to listen to me and understand so that i can get the help and care i need. even if i bring someone with me, they also need to know what to say and i don't know anyone who understands well enough to explain to the doctor for me, which means that i have to tell them what to say before going. but that's the problem since i just don't know.

i have chronic joint pain that ive had for years but has only gotten worse over time. i also have hypermobile knees which are the worse they've ever been right now. i'm chronically fatigued and barely have the energy to eat and do basic hygiene. i have a few friends that i talk to fairly regularly and im very thankful for them but i still struggle so much with maintaining a social life when i cant even maintain my own physical wellbeing. i only go outside when i absolutely have to/when my pain is low enough and i have enough energy. on average i probably leave my house about once or twice a week, usually to go to medical appointments, to an internship i have once a week or to go grocery shopping. i usually try to do both at the same time if i can (like going grocery shopping after my internship) but most of the time i have to ask my parents to get me groceries since i dont have enough energy to. all i want is to be able to go outside just to take short walks and enjoy nature and the fresh air but i can't do so without the right treatment/a mobility aid. everything im doing right now is bordering the line of too much. im constantly tired and overwhelmed and everything feels like a struggle, even the smallest tasks most people do everyday without thinking twice about it.

i have almost only had bad experiences with doctors and other medical professionals like physiotherapists, which has given me a lot of extra anxiety on top of my already pretty bad social anxiety. i really struggle to make appointments and even more so to go to them, and when i bring myself to do so i really struggle to express myself and explain how i feel and how i want them to help me. i almost always get shut down and offered no actual help with any of my problems. i just don't know what to do anymore.

if anyone has any advice i'd really appreciate it. i know that i can't give up because my life right now without accommodations is too miserable, but i also don't know how to move forward.

sorry if this was hard to understand. i really tried my best to explain but im having a bit of a hard time expressing myself right now due to feeling worse than usual.

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 3 days

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Okay here's one. I really dont think I'm the asshole but my ex sure does.

AITA for refusing to buy my partner a jar of pickles?

So this story has like, a little background and some confounding factors i think but i really could go both ways on whether i was the asshole.

Ill start with both my ex (21nb) and i (23f) had severe mental health issues and were working on treatment when we were together. Theyd been in and out of inpatient stays throughout our three year relationship. Towards the Day of Pickles, i had my first inpatient stay where i got help i desperately needed to keep myself safe. This happened to be about a week after my 23rd birthday, but about two and a half weeks before their 21st birthday.

Anyway, at that time i had just gotten out of the hospital and started a new job at Joanns Fabrics (i outlived that retail fucker and im proud of it). I had been unemployed for the previous year and a half because of the pandemic and so the retail job was really my saving grace to have some sort of income to buy gas and groceries. My parents let me live rent free with them in their basement but i spent a LOT of time essentially squatting at my ex's dorm because my situation with my parents was not great.

Now my ex was also being financially abused by their mom so they had a monthly "allowance" of 200$ (of their own money they made at their on campus job) and no access to their bank statements. So i spent a lot of my own money on gas and groceries for both of us, and anything we wanted to do for fun, like visit the city. Without an income, this was SUPER stressful for me and i spiraled pretty hard with feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness. Supporting two people, even minimal living expenses, on an income of exactly 0$ is the WORST.

Anyway, i got out of the hospital and pretty much immediately went back to picking up as many shifts as i could at work because id been on staff for all of two weeks before hospitalization. Knowing retail, i was probably on the precipice of losing hours or being fired altogether.

My ex wanted me to take time off to celebrate their 21st birthday (they didnt celebrate my birthday that year) and travel to see their family and drink etc. I got scheduled for an inconvenient time. I would have to miss their birthday if i didnt find someone to cover. I managed to switch shifts with another coworker who was nice enough to let me have her morning shift, so i was able to at least travel separately and be a little late to dinner.

The night of their birthday my ex wanted to get drunk and so we went to the liquor store. Now im generally pretty picky about alcohol but if i get anything special i always get enough to share. Mysteriously, no one ever offers to share the expense or pay me back. So with all of 150$ in my account, i purchased enough alcohol for myself and the rest of the party, and a bottle of (cheap af) liquor for myself. I was broke af until my next paycheck and was pretty much planning on giving up meals and staying at home because the commute to work was shorter and meant less gas.

My ex picked out a jar of boozy pickles and asked if i would get it for them for their birthday. I should note that with all the stress i was under i had found a birthday present for them but hadnt actually placed the order (was waiting to get paid). I also didnt lie to them about this and had told them that i hadnt gotten their birthday present yet. They were upset by this and told me they felt like i didnt care about them, to which i snapped and raised my voice a little.

I gave them a bit of a reality check. I told them in no uncertain terms that i was under a lot of stress, from nearly killing myself to being flat broke with little to no help from my family other than a conditional roof over my head, ordering their birthday present wasnt super high on my list of things to do and that i knew what i was going to get them and that i intended to order it as soon as i had the money to do so. After years of the sole attention being focused on keeping them alive, i needed some support and acting like i didnt care completely ignored EVERYTHING i did to keep us both afloat.They cried and played the victim as they tended to do and i was too stressed to do anything but be angry.

So when they asked for the pickles i told them no. I have NOTHING left in my bank account, and anything that was in my account was already allocated for something else.

They told me i was being selfish for buying myself alcohol on THEIR birthday, not even getting them a present, yelling at them, and then refusing to buy the one thing they asked for, especially after i refused to take off work the day before to hang out with them and their family. In front of our friends.

I told them that i was purchasing the alcohol for the whole party, that the present had slipped my mind, and that they were accusing me of not caring about them when i snapped. Then i walked out.

My bff went outside to help me cool down and i told him what was going on and how stressed i was and he said that he agreed with me, it was childish to expect me to pay for everything with no help from anyone and then act like im unreasonable for having to put limits on what i can purchase.

My ex ended up getting so pissed by all of this they broke up with me two days later, saying that their birthday was the final straw for them after I'd been so codependent and relying on them too much to survive.

I think its all ridiculous given all of the stress factors i was dealing with at the time. I feel like we're all entitled to the occasional emotional outburst/bouts of forgetfulness when we're stressed. But my ex seems to think im a selfish asshole. We've been no contact for the last two years so this isnt like a pressing concern or anything but it does make me roll my eyes occasionally.

So tumblr, aita?

(Btw im also much more financially stable now that I'm fully and properly medicated and away from them.)

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

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chrissturniolosbitch · 3 days

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NEEDY

a/n- this is very bad, and random (i also made this at 12am on a school night!)

warnings- oral, creampie, use of y/n, caught, and language

summary- y/n gets caught staring at matts hands, so he does something about it.

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"bro y/n are you listening?"

chris says suddenly snapping me out of my trance, i was to busy studying matts hand to be listening, "um yea." i lied. Ive been looking at matts hands for the past 35 minutes

wondering what great things they would do to me.

"then re say one fucking word i said!" chris snapped at me leaving me speechless, "thats what i thought" chris said in a know it all way leaning back onto the couch getting comfortable.

ding

i got a snapchat notification from, 'matt?' i thought to myself.

i opened my phone looking up at matt not understanding why he couldnt just tell me whatever he was snapping me about.

'oh shit its a photo' i thought to myself furrowing my eyebrows almost automatically clicking the image

'holy shit' i was not expecting to see a picture of his dick.

"wdf is this matthew?"

"you think i dont see you staring at me? not just me but my hands?"

"idek what youre talking about matt."

"go to my room. naked. now."

read 1:43 am

as soon as i read the last sentence he sent me i got up and started walking to his room, "where are you going y/n?" matt asked knowing exactly where the fuck i was headed.

"um." i cleared my throat, "im h-headed to your room. I dont feel to good." I already could feel my cunt dripping in arousle, "im gonna head to bed too then" matt said standing up smirking at me, "oh okay." i said turning back around practically sprinting to his room, him following behind me.

as soon as we entered his room he grabbed me by the waist, "fuck matt" i said pulling my shirt off.

"damn ma you roaming free 'round here?" he said hooking his mouth to my left boob, since i didnt have a bra on.

matt moved us over from his door frame to his bed, throwing me down moving his mouth from my left boob to my right.

"shit baby, can i taste you." he said this statement more as a demand rather than a question, "anything you want matt" i said tugging at his waistband. All he did was nod, and with a tic of approval i pulled his pants and boxers down in one swift motion

his rock hard dick slapping his stomach, that shit was bout 8-9 inches.

"fuck matt." i said as he pulled down my shorts and laced panties down painfully slow, "i want you to taste me already" i said removing my legs from the last peice of clothing covering me

"say no more" he said giggling, going down on me im one swift motion.

as soon as his tongue hit my clit, immediate pleasure spred throughout my body. Waves of enjoyment sprung through my body

"shit im already so close matt please" i said gripping his hair bucking my hips into his mouth, "cum in my mouth baby" as soon as those 5 words left his mouth the knot in my stomach became undone

slowly matt stopped and kissed me, "isnt it your turn matt?" i said cupping the side of his face staring into his peircing blue eyes, "shit. If im being honest... i came already. twice."

"matt what the fu-" i was about to finish my sentence before i heard a ding from my phone

it was chris

"you both are nasty as fuck." chris stated arguably correct.

i rolled my eyes, and showed matt. We both looked at each other and started bursting out laughing

"i know!" is all i replied with before shutting my phone off and kissing matt

"thank you matt." i said looking at him, "any time." he said kissing me one last time.

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i hate this. I HATE THIS. i hate my life 💕

#chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo edit #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut #sturniolo x reader

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geckoomoria · 1 day

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Best friends older brother! Anakin x reader Drabble

fluff with some kissing, touching and stuff like that😇

( i have no idea who came up with the bsf anakin idea i read it somewhere , so plspls let me know and ill give credit !!)

also GB/N stands for girl bsf name.

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Friday August 15th

approx 9:25pm

“Ani if you dont place them right , it’ll ruin the cookies” you whine as your (secret) boyfriend wasn’t putting his back into making the dessert you two planned for the movie night as much as you were.

Anakin places cookie blobs on the tray and you shape them to look like actual cookies

“How the fuck do you place it wrong, its just putting them on the tray ” he replies countering your complaint about his skills at baking.

“ugh you don- back up back up, i’ll do it myself. You just sit there and look pretty” you huff and push him to sit on the stool that overlooks the kitchen table.

“see now THAT i can do just perfectly” Anakin winks and lets out a chuckle at his own comment as he sits down on the stool.

as the two of you stay in the kitchen , placing the tray of cookies into the oven , a call comes from your home phone.

You pick up the phone but dont answer , looking at the name you hesitate to answer. The ringing echos for a few minutes, “whats wrong? who is it?” Anakin asks curiously.

“its uh- its GB/N” , He stares at you softly understanding your hesitation. “what do i tell her if she asks where i am?”

he comes up with the excuse of “just say your busy thats all” , nodding at his idea you answer the phone.

“Hey whats up?” , “ah nothing much , just wanted to see if your free. are you?”. “not tonight sorry GB/N, got tons of homework.”

Anakin smirks at your excuse of doing “so much homework”. Suddenly an idea springs into his head, he makes his way behind you and starts cleaning up the baking supplies, waiting for the right moment to pounce.

“ah its alright , we’ll go out another night. Man how is everyone busy but me!? even Anakin went out at 5 and still isn’t back!”

“Anakin still isn’t back and he left at 5? i wonder where he could be” you say trying to make it sound like you dont have a clue where he could be.

This was his moment.

Anakins arm snakes around your waist and travels your whole body , the sudden touch makes you gasp but right away you shut up to avoid suspicions.

“what happened?? why’d you gasp?” she asks on the other side of the phone. You clear your throat and let him continue with his little ruse.

“uh- umm nothing , sorry thought i saw a spider. it was just a piece of lint” you say sounding unsure but you could care less anyways. Anakin was distracting you too much.

His deep chuckle is heard prominently from your other ear as he rests his head on that shoulder.

“ew , but yeah Anakin’s still not back! he said he had some important business to attend to but that just makes him sound like a serial killer” she replies.

Absolutely none of her words registered properly into your head because Anakin kept going on with his little game. His giant arms travelled down to your thighs and just teasing your inner thighs as he takes his thumbs and gently grazes it back and forth.

His lips kiss your neck from behind , slow and one kiss at a time, making you yearn for more on the inside.

“i- i uh wouldn- wouldnt worry much abo- about him. He’s a ye-year old-older thannn uss so he-hes doing teenage boy th-things” you stumble on your words barley able to form a proper sentence. How could you? you were so drunk on Anakin. You needed him more than anything but you couldn’t blow your cover, not this early to your GB/N.

“are you sure your okay?” you sound really out of it” she questions your odd behaviour, concerned about what’s possibly going on , on the other side of the phone.

Anakin takes his sisters suspicions as a loud ringing bell that tells him to continue. His arms move from your upper thighs to inside your shirt. His hands move to your bra and fiddle with the outline of it

“ye-yeah , im uh perfect-ly fine” You gulp half way through what you could finish of that sentence.

“are you absolutely sure cau- i think im not feeling well. ill talk to you tomorrow after i get some sleep?”

You cut her off because you genuinely cant deal with the embarrassment of trying not to make it sound like your enjoying your boyfriend who happens to be her older brother straight up groping you right now

“yeah yeah sounds good , get some rest N/N. love you” , “yeah goodnight , Love you too”.

The call ends and you immediately (attempt to) smack Anakin on the head

“Ani! what the hell was that for. were you trying to get us in trouble ??” you scold the brown haired male for his antics. “At this point i dont care if the world knew we’re together, God i cant stop myself from being near you N/N”

“you dont mean that Anakin” you weakly say as you turn around and look down from his gaze.

Even though you two always liked it each other secretly and then finally fessed up not that long ago. You still had doubts about your relationship and Anakin has tried everything he could to prove himself. Its not that you dont trust him, its that you feel unsure about the whole sneaking around thing.

He pushes your chin up with two fingers “of course i do. i always have meant it” he sternly claims as he presses his forehead against yours.

the two of you stay quiet for a moment.

“Maybe soon okay? i just need to figure out how to tell her” you propose meekly to Anakin hoping he’ll be okay with it, “whenever your ready baby.” he replies with ease.

You couldn’t believe your dating the most perfect man of all time. The man only poets write about , the man women fawn over and men get intimidated of. The man of your dreams is holding you in his arms reassuring you of anything you want.

its a dream come true.

You pull back from the forehead touching and lean in for a deep kiss with him. Nothing could pull you two apart, not now and not ever.

Ding!

well except for the oven and the cookies you two made.

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why was this acc so long omg.

i hope u liked ittt my babes💕

PLEADE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LEAVE THINGS JN MY LITTLE QUESTION BOX ANYTHING I NEED SOME SORT OF NOTICE THAT YOUR THERE.

also follow meee , i followw backk🥲

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pinkandlilacroses · 17 hours

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⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

Angel - Paige bueckers

part 5

• summary {in which an unsuspecting girl falls for the basketball star}

• warnings {angst, mention of sexual acts}

• comment if you would like to be added to the taglist

“i shouldn’t have done that” was the last things she said, before running out of my dorm

what the fuck. she has feelings for me? do i have feelings for her to. i need to find her

‘bella’ has unblocked ‘paige’

bella

- paige where are you

- paige please talk to me

- please

- where are you

- answer me

- i’m coming to your dorm

i slam my bedroom door shut, this is all happening so fast. she was ignoring me and now she likes me????

what?

“paige is know your in here” i say while banging on her door

“bella leave me alone” she says, door still shut

“paige let me in” i say, almost begging the girl

she opens the door, teary eyed

“paige” i say, my tone shifting completely, turning soft and calm.

“you dont need to talk to me, pretend i never said that” she says, tears streaming

“i want to talk to you”

“you just feel bad”

“i feel the same” i say, partially shocking myself, shes all i’ve been thinking about for weeks. maybe i like her and maybe i want her to be more than just a one time thing. and hearing that she feels the same, relive flooded my body. i’m not delusional, she feels the same

“no you don’t” she says

“why don’t you believe me paige, your all i can think about” i say, walking towards her and the dorm room shuts

“you were ignoring me”

“i was ignoring you cause you were doing the same” i say

“i was ignoring you cause i like you”

“i like you to” i say, genuinely

“i cant like you” she says, tears forming in her eyes again

“why cant you paige” i say, completely erasing any space between us and lightly stroking her bare arm

no response

“paige” i say, looking up at her, shes not looking at me

“paige answer me” i say, my own tears making an appearance in my eyes

“i cant bella, i want to, but i cant”

“you cant what”

“i cant be with you, ever” she says, each word breaking my heart further. confusion is an understatement to how i’m feeling right now

“then why would you say what you said paige” i say, anger arising

“it was a mistake” she says, her emotions emulating my own

“this is fucking ridiculous” i say, breaking away from her and throwing my arms up in defeat

she drags my arm, so i’m back in my original position

“i didn’t say i wanted you to leave” she says, timid

i want to stay, i really do. but shes just gonna fuck me over again, and i’d let her

“why so you can fuck me and never speak to me again!” i say, fuming at the blonde

“im sorry” she says, voice raising to my level

“it was a mistake and you know that” she continues

“how many fucking mistakes do you make paige, cause i can list plenty” i say, rudely

i can see tears forming in her eyes, and i can feel my eyes doing the same. fuck

“don’t cry” she says, her own voice breaking from emotions

“paige is really like you, why are you doing this to me” i ask, letting my tears fall

“im so sorry bella, but i cant do it, i wish i could but i cant”

“whats the reason paige? what do you want from me” i ask, emotions at an all time high

“hey guys” azzi and avery say

fuck

#paige bueckers #paige bueckers x reader #uconn wbb #paige bueckers fic #paige bueckers headcannons #paige bueckers smut #uconn huskies #uconn women’s basketball #uconn #azzi fudd

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lixielovess · 1 day

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"and i still dont care, i only care about you and how you feel. if it meant that I'd have to kill everyone in the world except for you and then myself just to prove that i love you, then I'll do so."

hyunjin x fem!chubby!reader

warnings: reader is insecure about her body, implied ED, swearing

genre: angst, fluff

hyunjin was a childhood friend of yours, you always hung out with him and you enjoyed being around him. but you were always considered the 'ugly' friend by your other friends, sometimes your family and you yourself agreed sometimes.. ofcourse he never did, he thought you were absolutely beautiful, tough he never said it.

when you were in junior high school, you could never be friends with anyone without someone shipping you two, but with you.. everyone always considered it as a joke. like you were a joke, people kept teasing hyunjin about liking you and he always denied it, and you believed him. he was never harsh about it he was genuinely nice, he was always polite with it but it always seemed to hurt you. you loved him, and deep down he knew he liked you aswell.

he was the handsome popular guy and you were just another one of his fangirls who just happened to be one of his friends. though you did have girl friends alot of girls seemed to hate you because you were friends with hyunjin, saying that you only hung out with him to distract yourself from how fugly you actually are. and honestly you thought the same, it was to the point you starved yourself and had to go to the hospital because you didn't eat the normal amount of food a healthy person should eat for about a month, but despite not eating almost anything at all you still looked like that.

and suddenly when you were in highschool in senior year when in the schools garden, he stood infront of you, bouquet in hand looking straight into your eyes "y/n y/l/n i-... i loved you.. i always have.. so please-" you cut him off. "is this some sort of joke..?" he froze up, confused, time seemed to stop as he just stared at you completely confused "what?"

"did one of your friends force you to do this? did you lose a bet? do you think its funny 'confessing' to the ugly chubby girl?" you we're used to it, guys confessing to you, going out with you because it was a dare or a jokey joke. but its happened to you over and over again for too many times to the point where you couldn't tell the difference between that and the real thing... and when someone actually had feelings, that someone being hyunjin, you turned him down because you didn't trust anyone that said they liked you, either way if it was true or not.

"Y/n-" "save it." angry tears welled up in your eyes as he just stared at you in disbelief "listen! please- im not joking! i genuinely do-" you grit your teeth, holding in your tears as you try not to break down sobbing "i thought you were my friend, hyunjin."

"i am! and i want us to be more than that-"

"Liar! you don't like me, i know you don't. you denied it since we were 10 and even until now you still do. feelings don't change overnight. i cant believe i thought you were my friend, never talk to me again you piece of shit" you ran off into somewhere, you dont know where you just walked. a few hours later you somehow arrived home, you waltzed into your room and just locked yourself in there.

days go by and you return to school completely ignoring him, everytime he came to talk to you, you just brushed him off like he was nothing.

your friends still hung out with him, and they brought you along when they hung out with him, but what else could you do? not hang out with your friends who've known you for years..? no. eventually you forgave him and tolerated him, and started hanging out with eachother more and more.

it wasn't until recently when you guys were alone, he took your hand and looked straight into your eyes when he confessed, again. "i.. i just wanted you to know that it wasnt a joke, i genuinely did love you back then and i didn't care about how you looked you were absolutely beautiful regardless. and i still dont care, i only care about you and how you feel. if it meant that I'd have to kill everyone in the world except for you and then myself just to prove that i love you, then I'll do so."

#stray kids #hwang hyunjin #stray kids angst #hyunjin x reader #skz x you #writing

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sovksluv · 2 days

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GTYU2K - static chapter 1

✰ . pairing - ex!Luke Castellan x italian!fem!singer!reader smau

✰ . summary - dating an ex-frat boy was definitely not the best idea, but now that you’re only a girl he used to know, you’re making tons of money off him and his lying, cheating ass, iykwim 😉

✰ . includes - badassness, italian singer but no specified race, cussing probably, sad luke because he regrets what he did

✰ . series taglist - @sluttysammyy

✰ . pjo taglist - @perseus-jackass @niktwazny303 @st4rzl7

✰ . now playing - GTYU2K by Alexis Munroe

✰ . a/n - im not really sure how artists like talk about their new albums and stuff so taylor swift is my inspo!! also PLEASE if you haven’t, GO LISTEN TO Alexis Munroe (aka princessbri) ALSO!!! pictures do NOT depict the reader!!

✰ . series masterlist

y/ny/ln u make me sick

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larueclarisse FUUUUCK HIM !!! U DONT NEED HIM 🫶🏽❤️‍🔥

ׂ╰┈➤ y/ny/ln ridding myself of allllll the bullshit

ׂ╰┈➤ user09 ATE

missbeauregard soooo excited !!! and so proud of you lovie 💕💕

ׂ╰┈➤ y/ny/ln ilyyyy mwah mwah 💋💋

seaweedbrainbaddie um where’s my photo creds 🤨🤨🤨🤞🤞

ׂ╰┈➤ y/ny/ln no

ׂ╰┈➤ seaweedbrainbaddie yes

ׂ╰┈➤ y/ny/ln no

ׂ╰┈➤ seaweedbrainbaddie YES

ׂ╰┈➤ y/ny/ln FINE. 📸 creds to @seaweedbrainbaddie (stupid name btw)

ׂ╰┈➤ seaweedbrainbaddie thank you and FUCK YOU

ׂ╰┈➤ annab3th LANGUAGE.

pipesqueak drop the album alreadyyy!! i’m dying waiting 😫

ׂ╰┈➤ y/ny/ln coming soon i promise ml 💋

ׂ╰┈➤ pipesqueak not soon enough :(

iamchris_h can’t let bro know i fw this 😣

ׂ╰┈➤ larueclarisse don’t even know why ur friends w such a loser

ׂ╰┈➤ iamchris_h we all make mistakes guys

ׂ╰┈➤ larueclarisse his dad definitely did 🥱

ׂ╰┈➤ missbeauregard CLARISSE.

hater77 she’s just obsessed with her ex like if it’s so bad why make a whole album about him LMFAO

ׂ╰┈➤ user54 ur just mad she’s making money and u aren’t 🤣

larueclarisse GIRLS NIGHT ‼️🥂❤️‍🔥 tagged: @y/ny/ln @missbeauregard @pipesqueak

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pipesqueak i had so much fun !!! 💕💕

ׂ╰┈➤ larueclarisse WE ALL NEED TO GO OUT TOGETHER AGAIN?!?&:8

ׂ╰┈➤ pipesqueak YES !

y/ny/ln holy shit i’m so hung over but at least i look good 🤷‍♀️

ׂ╰┈➤ larueclarisse only Y/n Y/ln can get full on shitfaced and still look good 😫❤️‍🔥

seaweedbrainbaddie omg guys why wasn’t i invited :(((( 💔😖

ׂ╰┈➤ y/ny/ln you’re a boy. it was girls night.

ׂ╰┈➤ larueclarisse you’re like 8??

ׂ╰┈➤ missbeauregard you would probably just complain the whole time

ׂ╰┈➤ pipesqueak you can’t even drink

ׂ╰┈➤ annab3th you’re annoying.

ׂ╰┈➤ seaweedbrainbaddie babe you weren’t even there ??

itslukecastellan she looks so pretty

ׂ╰┈➤ larueclarisse boy gtfo

ׂ╰┈➤ iamchris_h Luke i can’t even defend you anymore 🤦🏽

y/ny/ln just posted a new story

view reply from larueclarisse:

larueclarisse YESSSSS IM SO EXCITED 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

y/ny/ln my biggest supporter 💕

view reply from missbeauregard:

missbeauregard DISSIN HIM AND MAKING MONEY!!! IM SO PROUD OF YOUUUU

y/ny/ln thank you babyyyyyy <3333

view reply from cast311anbackup:

cast311anbackup i miss you

y/ny/ln leave me aloneeeee how many mf times do i have to block you.

y/ny/ln i’m not the girl that u used 2 know🤷‍♀️

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pinteresthore · 20 hours

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genuinely asking because i saw the post with you saying you arent fatphobic - if you run a pro blog that caters and creates triggering media for ppl to starve themselves, isnt that inherently fatphobic? even if you arent bullying or harassing people, isnt it just a deep rooted feeling from the disorder? theres probably fat people who ask for you to post thinspos because they hate themselves and want to starve. isnt proana all inherently fatphobic even if you dont post fatspo? (im up for discussion, not trying to pointlessly argue)

hi first of all, thanks for the ask. second of all…

Everyone on this planet has internalised fat phobia. Even body positive influencers and celebrities. Societal standards, and media has conditioned our minds into believing that fitting into certain standards is better than just loving yourself. I never denied that I wasn’t just the same

I am not saying it’s ok, I’m just saying it’s a bitter truth. In an ideal world this shouldn’t exist

I only use ( an A ) tags in order to ensure no other people outside of this community sees my posts, the people in the tags are

Already having an a

Reporting blogs (and weirdos ofc)

already have some underlying problem

yes my content is triggering, that is the point. It’s supposed to encourage you to ‘stick to your plans’

again, I know this is NOT a good thing, I’m just explaining the content I’m posting read further…

There has been sooo much debate on this, but the way I see it, it offers support to people who feel alone in the world. Connecting you with people all over the world. Posting has allowed me to create a community of over 300 people in just a couple of days. These are all individuals who have gone through similar things as me.

My condition did surface from the desire to look a certain way, yes. But it is so much more than that. My fellow ⭐️🦴 might relate. It’s like no matter how hard your life is, you at least have control over what you put in your body. This keeps me going. now, that difference between th0i0n0s0p0o (T) and f0a0t0s0p0o0 (F) is large

we aren’t humiliating and bullying random people who choose to live. there is a HUGE difference between “ew, I do not want to look like her” and “omg goals”

Both are toxic, though one is better than the other

I don’t post F out of respect for people. Although I judge myself and my body, I try not to judge others.

so yes,

I am inherently fat phobic, everyone is

I have a mental illness that commands me to starve

I post triggering content (all mental illnesses are triggering if you look at it like that )

I am just a person trying to navigate my life withought breaking down every few minutes. This blog is my way to cope.

No,

I do not dehumanise and bully people for their size and simply existing on the Internet

I don’t post rude comments and inspo that Hates on fatter bodies

I hope this answers your questions

love

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sicklyseraphnsuch · 2 days

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Management Styles Pt. 1

I find it deeply fun that both the Queens have very similar management styles albeit for different reason. Both Riddle and Vil operate essentially on "might makes right" and "shame to tame".

Vil will cut you down for not acting in a way that fits his definition of beautiful, especially if you're lazing about. Riddle will cut you down for not acting in accordance with his rules, especially if you're lazing about. Both aspire to this lofty concept - order and beauty, and for the most, strong arm people into agreeing. They're quite aggressive so they will seek out behaviors to correct.

Meanwhile, on the other end of the spectrum, Idia who couldn't give two shits about what anyone in his dorm is doing because he's got the most antisocial dorm ever and they're pretty self governing. When they bitch about each other, its always personal because their otakus who will disagree over the slightest differences in interpretation. But like management? structure? what is that?

(Which is what makes Idia's attempt at asserting leadership in Ch 6 sooooo funny. He doesnt really have a way of getting people to fall in line so naturally the other folks started bitching at him)

Now, Ortho's management is a little more advanced. He operates more on a "distract with the shiny" to get them off his back while he actually gets to work. He never actually works with other people because he is in fact not that great of a team player (super robo boy with five million advanced programs can do it all so why ask for help?) but hes better at tricking people to get off his back so he doesnt have to deal with them anymore than necessary

Incidentally, Jamil is the same way. He also prefers to do everything himself and if people are working with him, you better believe that they are under his Direct Supervision. But, when people dont fall in line with his wishes, he relies on his unique magic/signature spell to make up the difference. He's not like either Riddle or Vil who browbeat into obedience simply because that shit would not work on Kalim. However, Kalim can be distracted with shinies at the risk of making more work later if Kalim gets particularly "inspired" by said shiny. In short, Jamil doesn't manage people more than he magicks them into complacence.

Now, somewhere in the middle between outright authority and fuck it I'm doing this myself, there's Azul and Leona. They mostly take control of people via bribes. They are canny negotiators who know what people want and give it to them for a price. Of course, if directly challenged, Leona will throw down and Azul sends out the twins. But for the most part, they rely on clever tricks to get what they need from people. They will avoid violence - mostly because that's just trying too hard.

(And yeah, Leona absolutely believes that Riddle and Vil are too high strung)

As for Malleus... He mostly gets his Dad to do things for him.

#twisted wonderland #vil schoenheit #riddle rosehearts #idia shroud #jamil viper #malleus draconia #leona kingscholar #azul ashengrotto #the other dorm leaders operate on #dont start none dont get none #unless someone is actively making themselves a problem with their schemes #theyre not gonna worry about you too much #the queens are usually the only dorm leaders who demand a standard for all their dorm #they make you their problem

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ashleshascendant · 1 day

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SYNASTRY / COMPOSITE

yall help me 😭 im embarrassing myself here 🤕 so theres this guy that im talking with lately and tbh hes not exactly my physical type ? but he kinda makes me feel thingsss. but goddd we alws clash. debates, arguments etc. i feel like hes easily triggered ? also that he projects a lot on me but doesnt realise it. i tell him, “ure not in the wrong, im not either- its just were different.” lmao. we def have diff communication styles. he doesnt rly get my humour too. vice versa. i find his lame. anyways i dont think were compatible but god he kinda idk somehow turns me on lmao. i blamed it on my periods n all but i cant really deny it lmao. he definitely gets on my nerves. hes annoying ugh. he also admits that he likes getting on my nerves. but i oddly find myself wanting to talk w him despite all thAt. we kinda talk evry night so maybe its just bc its kind of become like a part of my routine ? idk but i gotta say, when things get kinda good- theyre p good ? but whn theyre bad, theyre bad. like i feel like blocking him and putting an end to everything. just now too, we were kinda talking good in the beginning but then that man got annoying and he so easily gets triggered man. ih8 how hes so sensitive. i dont even explain myself anymore lmao, ijust ignore it and jump to another thing.

anyways, now i need to know just what the heck is going on in our charts ? does he find me attractive ? ( physically lol ) is this attraction / underlying attraction (?) lmao i feel, mutual ? whether he feel turned on too or is it just me lmao. please if this aint mutual, im gonna ghost n block is2g. also he keeps asking me out on a date, i always reject ofc. do yall think i should give this a try or just let it finish here. o and idk if this means anything, but ithink he finds my hands attractive ? lol. o and another question that i hv, is he attracted to my voice ? he also wants to talk on call n all but i deny lol. im curious.

im the capricorn. he’s scorpio.

#synastry #synastry chart #astrology #astrology community #astro community #astro notes #composite #composite chart #libra rising #leo rising #lilith #lilith conjunct moon

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andichoseyou · 23 days

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im literally so alone😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 just so so lonely like i truly have nobody except for myself yoyok fr..... yoyok FR...

#all my friends are gone #my family has moved on #ive been pushed aside #all i have is myself now and i dont know what to do #im just so sad you guys #so sad #so alone #i hate waking up in the morning #i hate going to sleep because i know i will have to wake up #i just don't want to wake up!!!!!#my thoughts

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deoidesign · 14 days

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important distinction.

Testing a few different things with this one

#I spent straight up 5 hours testing out and trying to use different animation programs and you know what #they all suck all the fun out of it for me. frame by fram 4 ever yaaa #anyways I'm thinking about trying to make like an animated short or something. might get some voice actors and everything #extremely excited thinking about it #however I fucked up super hard and I accidentally overwrote my original file with my reduced size version. so #I only have this like 500px version of this now #so if I were to use this clip I'd have to redo it anyways #but I think I wouldnt? idk. maybe I would. but either way I was just doing this as a test I dont think I'd want the same composition anyway #this is what I am telling myself so I dont get sad losing that file WHWLJGLJGLKSJG I am extremely sad about it but. its okay.#ok anyways #animated gif #2d animation #my art #digital art #ocs #my ocs #time and time again #animated #animation #gif #rough animation #adam #ttawebcomic

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lunarharp · 9 months

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if i just told you i love you would this world change

#witch hat tag #orufrey #these kinda suck lol i feel like i cant draw right now *irritated sigh* BUT I FEEL EMOTIONS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#if you are gay go watch good omens season 2 right now. NO YOU DONT KNOW THO!!!!!!!!!#i know being this affected by good omens is probably cringe. I dont care any more. the last 1 minute of good omens season 2 was #some of the most affecting acting i've ever seen in my life. sometimes someone acts with the force as if their entire career led to that #like during the credits part the very end im not even talking about before that. holy god #aziraphale i know everything about you. i know what you are feeling right now. i can see everything on your face. we're going to make it #ER.... NOT THAT THIS HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS POST. IT'S NOT SPOILERS !!!!!!!!!!!!!#I JUST FEEL THOROUGHLY CHANGED !!!!!!!!!!! SHIT GETS REAL FROM NOW ON.. LIKE IN GENERAL! IN MY LIFE!#tormented gay love tormented gay love TORMENTED GAY LOVE TORMENTED GAY LOVE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#btw the first 3 images were drawn earlier with an entirely different feeling and an entirely different mood.#Why do you keep pulling away from me?#It is because i love you that i do this #the lyrics from one of my japanese orufrey songs (A SONG THAT THE CREATOR LISTENS TO!!!!) led to feelings #“あなたが知らない私を残さず見ててほしいの” but i'm not translating it cause it just sounds weird. if with his eyes oru's asking “WHY don't you want #to let me in? to see all of you?“ those lyrics are like ”I actually want you to see every last bit of the parts of me you don't know“#oru you have no idea how much i want to lay bare my whole soul for you #maybe it's an alternate version of chapter 40. to me #i need to draw something really fucking good or i'm not going to forgive myself. i will not rest in this life #until i have made the orufrey that fully satisfies me nor until i have seen what the manga is leading to #NO STORY MEANS ANYTHING WITHOUT TORMENTED GAY LOVE AT THE HEART OF IT. THATS THE HEART OF THIS WORLD!!!!!#........... so Hi im normal :) haha *goes and finally makes breakfast*

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xenomorphicdna · 6 months

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On the string propaganda

Heeellll yeah

Bestie is an entire PLACE

I look at those guys and let me tell you the soul of that thing ain't just in the puppet, it's in all the neurons carrying the thoughts and emotions, it's in the power rails that serve as the heart. All the memories in the memory conflux and all the numbers we see flicker across displays, the flux condensers, the puppet; a little avatar.

No way these massive machines see life the same way we do. They have their own experiences and senses and things they hold dear. A world we can't imagine, a way of living we couldn't even comprehend.

I could never tear an iterator apart to be just a puppet. Who am I to decide how's life supposed to be enjoyed or perceived?

You treat your creechurs however you want- I ain't gonna dictate that. But damn, hearing the thrums and buzzes of the linear systems rail? They are alive with so much power, these mechanical beasts are exactly what they should be.

#sorry im just a really passionate on the string believer #you cant tell me that these massive structures kilometers wide capable of things we cant even image would look at something thats #thats comparable to a speck of dust and be like #yes i would like to rid myself of practically my entire body to be that tiny #this aint no “if i were a supercomputer i'd be sad i couldnt see the sky like i do now”#thats only because you have something to compare it to #if i were to suddenly loose everything to be just some microscopic creature i'd be miserable but only because i know what im loosing #id be loosing the ability to think like i do now id be loosing the ability to enjoy the things i do now #i dont know what life is like as a microscopic creature but i wouldnt be willing to give up my life as i know it now #and i think with iterators are the same #just how different is their life from ours and what things can they see that we are missing out on?#give up everything comfortable and known and for what??#to feel the sun? they absolutely have various temperature sensors #see the sky? those overseers were made to see things those visuals are in 4k #other animal comforts?? what about computer comforts??#what makes a lil creature happy may not necessary make a massive supercomputer happy #sorry big rant in the tags um just wanna say this is no hate to anyone who wants their creatures off the string #these are fictional beings and you do whatever makes you happy take them off the string set them loose yess enjoy little robots running #around be happy i love reading ya alls off the string shenanigans #rain world #iterator #drawins #oc veil of dreams #rw talk #rain world oc #iterator oc

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puppyeared · 5 months

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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to #im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but #because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of #exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something #and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh #and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing #because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant #even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still #its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about #I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird #maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel #a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t #I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to #be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol #idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week #had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting #yapping #does this count as vent #vent #Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly

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coolnonsenseworld · 11 months

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I wanted to say that outside of semantics and divisions - I am simply happy to find communities that welcome with kindness - that welcome you by a good heart and not the ability to conform. I am happy for the opportunity to be surrounded by people who care. It's a funny world we live in - making the same mistakes over and over, multiplying the same suffering by billions. I don't think I hope for an utopia anymore, I don't think such a thing exists - but you can't call me hopeless either. And that's what matters.

As a side note - this piece is set in DanceAU, which might be better known to Patrons so far, but still it was the best and most fitting option for this occasion..... also there are 12 DanceAU pieces incoming, because I might be making another calendar so. get familiar with these mutts

#klance #voltron legendary defender #klance fanart #priDEMONth #you know there is always so much happening idk what to add in the tags #i made banana bread yesterday and almost burned the kitchen (right after i asked myself how bad can it be?) i am not kidding #and then burned my arm twice trying to avoid a burn which is top ten ways to get them #its okay tho it doesnt hurt anymore #there was also my nameday which I forgot about and had a headache thorough #also when i was drawing i was considering that lance is maybe a bit too tall on this piece #he IS taller but bending like that with keith standing straight?#i mean gay?#idk about that #but i decided not to worry danceau always has heels for that #i also have been so deep in wirting hex if you dont know whats hex dw you shouldnt #but i have this love hate relationship with it everyone knows it its a sinusoid #im on my happy phase with it lately #no one jinx it it better last #all i wanted was bamf rescues and cliche tropes and now im trying to do them justice in 200 thousand words or less idk why #they could have been just fighting demons and cuddling #either way happy pride once again!!

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