#also! this is a timely PM because i'm trying to finish up part 2 of my grapes fic

[leclercings]

Crush | Charles Leclerc x Reader | Part 3

Genre: Fluff

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader

Summary: You're in love with your best friend, Charles Leclerc…

A/N: Unrequited love sucks. It inspired me to write this though. Here's the final part. What started off as a one shot has become a three part mini series, hope y'all enjoy it.

The final part!! Thank you for all the love you've poured.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Masterlist

You wake up to the sound of utensils clanking and sweet fragrance wafting through the air.

There are butterflies in your stomach.

Is Charles up? Is he cooking?

When you go out you see your mom working in the kitchen.

“Hi love,” she waves at you after wiping her hands on the apron.

Your heart sinks in disappointment.

“Hi Mom,” you reply halfheartedly, sitting on the dining table.

“What happened?”

“Nothing. Just tired.”

You refrain from telling her about your interaction with Charles. You check your phone to see if he has left a message.

And he has.

We need to talk.

Of course you need to talk, but not how it happened yesterday.

Charles is never vulnerable. It caught you by surprise. You've only seen him this sad and intoxicated when his father passed away and after his breakup with Charlotte.

You scared me yesterday. You respond back.

I'm sorry. I'll come over at 5 pm. His reply is instantaneous.

Okay. See you.

“Why are you smiling like that?” Your mom places a pancake in front of you.

“Nothing.”

“It's Charles, isn't it?”

You roll your eyes.

“Not everything is about love, Mom.”

She gets one plate for herself along with maple syrup.

You look at the array of disorganised and unmatched utensils. You see your mom sitting right next to you, relishing her pancake.

You're going to miss this place so much.

She gives you a very suggestive stare and you finally give in.

“Okay, it's Charles, but can we please talk about something else?”

“All I see is Charles, all I see is Charles Leclerc,” your mom sings and you blush, embarrassed.

“Stop it, Mom.”

“Okay,” she says, but she's smiling. “I couldn't find so many things in your kitchen, Y/N. Why don't you have dinner at our place?”

Knowing your mom, you have a gut feeling that she is up to something.

“Okay,” you respond, taking a bite of your delicious homemade pancake.

“Good,” she says.

You both finish your breakfast.

“I'll do the dishes Mom. Don't worry.”

“I'll see you at dinner, love.” She kisses your cheek. “Please dress nice."

You chuckle.

“I'm going to come in my pyjamas.”

Your mom sighs. You love annoying your mom like this. You'll miss this banter. This pure energy of love.

You're planning to sell your apartment. You've sorted your possessions- a lot of them are going to Goodwill. Your mom will keep the rest of the stuff because you're moving back in with your family.

Affordability is obviously not an issue. But you feel like this job would open a portal of new opportunities. And there is a slight possibility that you will end up staying at Milan.

You're going to miss your little world.

The rest of the day flies by as you do your chores and a bit of packing. It's almost 5.

You get dressed, mentally preparing yourself for a conversation with Charles. You plan everything out in your head, trying to memorise your responses and how to tackle this awkwardness.

The doorbell rings and this time you open the door to see Charles with a smile, unlike yesterday, when he was drunk and vulnerable and also angry.

He's wearing a light blue shirt with white pants, looking gorgeous as always. You get a little conscious because of your pyjamas.

“Come in. Have a seat.” He follows your instructions and you sit beside him.

“So…” Charles puts his hand in its pockets, feeling a little awkward.

You decide not to beat around the bush.

“Can we talk about the kiss?”

“Yes. I was about to bring that up.” He pauses, searching for the right words. “Y/N, I know we've been best friends for ages and I don't want to ruin that at all…”

“I like you, Charles. I always have and maybe I always will.” You decide to be upfront and honest.

This takes him by surprise. He's speechless.

“You do realise what you did was super impulsive and wrong.”

“I'm sorry.”

“You don't have to be.” He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, staring deeply into your eyes.

“I like you too. I always have.”

Wait. What?

Your heart skips a beat. It feels like it will come out of your chest. Charles’ confession excites you as well as relieves you.

“I've been running away from my feelings but I won't anymore.” He inches in closer and gives you a kiss.

You can't believe what is happening. It feels like a fairytale come true. You've always loved Charles, but you never expected him to feel the same way.

You spend the rest of the time together- talking, laughing over the silliest jokes.

“When did you realise that you liked me?” Charles asks you, sitting next to you inside your bedroom as you both watch Netflix.

You've decided to watch a movie. It's a classic rom com- When Harry Met Sally- which is ironic considering that the storyline of your life runs parallel to it.

“Senior year, prom. When you asked our Catherine for your date. I was jealous.”

He chuckles.

“But you were the one who set me up with her.”

You sigh. “I was trying to be a good wingwoman.”

“Don't ever sacrifice your happiness for someone else, Y/N.”

“I won't, I promise.”

"What about you?"

"What about me?" He asks, confused.

"When did you realise that you liked me?"

Charles sighs. "When you kissed me."

A blush spreads on your cheeks.

"Right."

You're glad that the kiss stirred his feelings. And you're excited for what is to come ahead. You both will make this work, no matter what.

As the movie ends, it's 7.

“I have to get ready for dinner at home.” You say, getting up.

“Don't go…” Charles pulls you back and starts tickling you.

“Stop it,” you laugh, hitting him softly.

He tickles you even further. You run away as he loosens his grip.

You've always loved spending time with Charles but this time it feels different. This time, it involves feelings.

“Charles! I have to get ready.”

He laughs. “Don't worry, I'll drop you.”

You get ready, deciding to wear a dress that compliments Charles’ shirt.

“Wow, Y/N. You look stunning.”

“Thank you.”

You leave for your parents' home around 8. The drive is quiet, almost serene. As you enter the premises, you see a lot of cars parked in.

“Wait-”

As Charles parks the car, he puts a finger on your lips.

“Wha-”

“Shh.” You both get out of the car.

“Close your eyes.”

“But why-”

“Trust me.”

You close your eyes and Charles gently guides you to the front door. He opens the door and as you enter, you can hear whispers.

“Surprise!”

You get scared as you open your eyes. You see everyone you love gathered in the living room.

Tears cloud your eyes. The room is decorated with your pictures and balloons.

It's a farewell party.

You start crying.

Charles hugs you, gently stroking your back. You're too emotional to respond.

“Thank you everyone.”

“It was Charles’s idea,” your mom chips in.

You look at him with the biggest smile on your face.

You're lucky to have someone like him by your side. Someone who respects you, loves you. Your heart is happy and full.

“Thank you, Charles.”

“Always.”

Taglist - @janeholt3 @rhythmstars @missenclod @phantomxoxo

#f1 #formula 1 #charles leclerc #cl16 leclercings #leclercings #cl16 x you #cl16 #cl16 one shot #cl16 x reader #cl16 imagine #f1 x female reader #f1 x y/n #f1 x you #f1 one shot #f1 fic #f1 imagine #charles leclerc x y/n #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc x reader #f1 x reader #fic #love #f1blr #SoundCloud

[writing-blog-iguess]

Online Matchup 3

Summery: Y/N just wanted to study and head home for some sleep, to bad the night in Gotham has different plans. Now all they want to do is see the one person who's been on their mind since they started talking. Question is, will Jason agree?

Warning: swearing, fluff, it gets a little angsty, comfort, a sprinkle of gun violence, a mugging.

A/N: I got it done by Friday. I did not think I could do it, but I did. I’m not sure part 4 will be up, but I will be taking the next week to try and finish other projects. If there’s anything you’d like to, let me know. Uh, this ended up being over 6k works, I hope you enjoy! Feedback is welcome.

Words: 6574

ao3 Part 1 Part 2 Part 4 Part 5

————

October 7

Y/N (7:30 am) Why is it so cold?

Jason Because it’s october

Y/N October just started! It should be illegal for October to be so cold so soon

Jason You’re the one who wanted to live in Gotham

Y/N I know But still

Jason: You lived in Gotham for how many years?

Y/n … Three

Jason: And you're still not used to the cold? and to think you chose Gotham 

Y/n Shut up

Jason All because Gotham and I quote ~intrigues~ you

Y/n Shouldn’t you be at work?

Jason Shouldn’t you be in class?

Y/n I’m on my way there Why’d you think I’m complaining about the cold?

Jason Could have fooled me Maybe your heater broke in your apartment and it’s freezing

Y/n I would cry if that happened

Jason Don’t like the cold?

Y/n I don’t like getting sick

Jason Touché

Y/n But I also hate the cold

Jason It’s sweater weather

Y/n Still cold

Jason Fall is not cold Winters cold Fall is the perfect season It’s not too cold not to hot Perfect

Y/n Maybe for cuddling under the blanket and read

Jason That an invitation?

Y/n Wouldn’t you like to know

Jason Awe come on, little bird don’t shy on me now It’s been what? Three weeks?

Y/n Yeah But, uh I’m a little nervous It’s been a while since I’ve been on a date or something 

Jason Ah I get that Honestly me too We can wait a bit longer and when we do meet up it’ll been in a public place

Y/n The confidence you have that we will be meeting is showing

Jason What can I say? I’m falling and I can’t get up

Y/n Oh my god You ruined the moment

Jason ‘Twas the plan

Y/n You dork

Jason No but really I really did fall and now my ass hurts

Y/n What do you want me to do about it?

Jason Come kiss it better

Y/n In your dreams

Jason Every night

Y/n I hope you step on a Lego

Jason First my ass and now my heart? Y/n you wound me

Y/n Sure, we’ll pretend your not into it

Jason I- Okay wow

Y/n Am I wrong

Jason I plead the fifth 

Y/n Mm thought so

Jason Shouldn’t you be in class?

Y/N Yup, just waiting for the professor 

Jason Is it true that if the teacher isn’t there after a certain period of time that there’s no class?

Y/n Some people think it is but no They always end up coming to class Unless there’s an attack of the school or something

Jason Does that happen a lot?

Y/n Like maybe every few months Don’t quote me on that, I barely pay attention

Jason I think that’s something you sure pay attention too

Y/n I did when I first moved here and now I just roll with the punches

Jason I really hope not

Y/n Like my guard is up when I’m out but other than that I guess, I don’t care?

Jason That’s even worse

Y/n That’s what my mom said too Oh look, the teach is here

Jason I'm more worried about you then I have worried about someone in my life

Y/n (12:20 pm) Hey You keep up with the news right?

Jason When I have time Why?

Y/n Have you heard anything about college students going missing?

Jason No I don’t think I have

Y/n Mm, not surprised I guess Apparently it’s a recent thing

Jason How recent?

Y/N Um, like a few days ago?

Jason And the cops haven’t done anything about this?

Y/N Nope Said they probably dropped out Some tried to report them as missing But they haven’t looked into it much

Jason How do you know this?

Y/n Rumors mostly Guess that’s why the cops won’t do anything But I don’t think they’re rumors I know some of the students that are missing Most are on the top of their classes Some are scholarship students, they wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize it

Jason Damn My brother’s a cop, I could get him to look into it?

Y/n You’re brothers a cop in Bludhaven What do you think he can do in Gotham?

Jason How do you know that?

Y/N Jason, we’ve been talking for awhile And sometimes when you complain about your brothers, you let information slip past. Not that I mind, everything you tell me I keep to myself But you need to pay more attention to what you’re talking about

Jason Right, sorry I forgot about that

Y/N Have you been sleeping lately?

Jason …no

Y/n Everything okay? Er, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to it’s fine

Jason No it’s okay I want to tell you I just don’t know where to start

Y/n Start wherever, and how much you want to tell me I don’t need the whole picture 

Jason I guess I’ve been having nightmares lately 

Y/n About when you died? Allegedly 

Jason … Don’t know if I should be impressed that that’s where your mind jumps to or not

Y/n It’s a gift

Jason But yeah, that’s what they’re about Someone found me after, and took me in and raised me for a couple of years And then coming going back home It’s a lot I guess Sometimes I feel like I’m broken

Y/n I bet I’m not going to pretend that I know how you feel and I’m not sure what exactly what I can say And I don’t want to invalid your feels, you’re allowed to feel how you feel But you’re not broken, not completely anyways Maybe a little bruised and banged up And like any bruise, they heal with time Sometimes with help sometimes without All depends on if you want it or not

Jason Are you sure you’re not a shrink or something?

Y/N Pretty positive It’s something my mom told me sometimes

Jason Wise women

Y/n You have no idea So, if you ever want to talk, chances are that I’ll be awake at any time

Jason Thank you And as for what Dick could do? Not a whole lot, but he does have friends in the gcpd though

Y/n You think he can do that?

Jason Yeah, he owes me

Y/N He’s your brother Does he have to owe you?

Jason Our relationship is a bit complicated

Y/N You’ve mentioned But if he can do something, that puts my mind at ease a little I’m worried and maybe a little scared

Jason As you should Just be careful okay?

Y/n I will do my best

Y/n (11:30pm) So… Have you heard anything from your brother?

Jason Smooth It hasn’t even been a day

Y/n That’s me The ruler of smooth A lot can happen between now and when you talked to your brother about it

Jason All true you dork And yeah I have Turns out they aren’t just rumours He went to check out the students dorms are they left everything there Usually when someone leaves they bring some clothes and stuff with them right

Y/n Yeah, unless they were in a hurried and couldn’t care less then they would pack important stuff

Jason Yeah but they left everything there Phones, wallets, keys I’m not sure what the connection is and all that But the cops are working hard

Y/n Mm okay At least some things being done about it

Jason Mm

Y/n No sleep tonight?

Jason Not yet Helping my brother with something

Y/n You know, for someone who has a complicated relationship with one’s family You sure do help them a lot 

Jason What can I say? I’m a family man

Y/N Is this your way of saying you love your family?

Jason So how’s your dad doing?

Y/N I cannot believe you pulled the same move I used on you, on me This is a disgrace Unacceptable

Jason I’m just using when you taught me

Y/N I didn’t teach you shit

Jason Well it worked, didn’t it?

Y/n Unbelievable 

Jason Answer the question 

Y/n Okay I guess Tired mostly Says he’s trying to keep busy but my mom tells me he gets tired easily There’s no win win

Jason I’m sorry

Y/n Yup

Jason Still repressing your emotions?

Y/N You know it

Jason I’m here if you want to talk

Y/N Thanks Jason That means a lot

Jason Shouldn’t you be sleeping?

Y/N Yes But I’m currently doing a project that’s due tomorrow

Jason Ouch

Y/N Did you know that the library I’m at is open this late?

Jason Why?

Y/N College students needs books

Jason Yes But you can take them out and bring them home

Y/N I left my library card at home so now I’m stuck here with the book I need until I’m done

Jason See, I want to feel sorry for you But something’s holding me back

Y/N I can see the compassion from here Anyways I should go home soon

—

My phone’s about to die and I don’t have my charger either, you typed out and before you could hit send, you were met with your reflection on a black screen. “No,” you whined, slumping back into your chair. “It’s fine. I’ll just use my laptop, it should work.” 

Sitting up straight, you reached over to wake your computer up, you were met with the same fate as your phone. “No, nonono,” you muttered, frantically searching your backpack for your laptop charger. When you couldn’t find it, you dumped everything on the table, hoping you were just blind. But it wasn’t there.

You groaned when you came to the realization that luck wasn’t on your side tonight. 

Sighing in defeat, you made a note of the books you were using and the pages before cleaning up the table. As you stuffed your backpack with your things, you took a quick glance at the clock on the wall and cursed. If you don't hurry now, you’ll be late for the last train for the night.

If there’s one thing you hated most about Gotham, it was walking home really late at night. And the last you wanted to do was that, also you didn’t want to make Jason worry.

With the rest of your stuff hazardously stuffed into the backpack, you raced out of the library hoping to make the last train.

—

Jason You good? Home yet? Is everything okay? Hellooo? What happened? Are you safe?

—

Nothing. There was no response and when Jason tried to call you, it went straight to voicemail. No matter how many times he called, it always yielded the same result.

Jason is not worried. He knows you're busy with your project. Maybe you misplaced your phone while talking to someone. Or you’re already on your way home and need to concentrate on getting home. He vaguely recalls you saying you take the train to and from school.

Lighting up his phone to check the time, he nodded to himself. Yeah, that was it. You were just busy and on your way home. Jason’s not worried, he’s not.

“You okay there Jay?” Dick asked in concern, “you look a little worried there.”

Okay, so maybe he’s a little worried and maybe a little scared of what could potentially happen. In Gotham…At night.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Jason lied, trying to push images of you hurt away. It didn’t help that there was this group out there kidnapping college students. For what, who knows. Jason only hoped that you didn’t get mixed up in it. 

Dick leaned in front of him and poked Jason’s forehead. “Are you sure? Your brow is pinched like you ate something sour,” he commented and Jason pushed him away with a scowl.

“Maybe he’s worried about his new friend,” Tim sang from the Bat computer. “It’s awfully late for a college student to be out in Gotham.”

Jason whipped his head around so fast, he was surprised he didn’t get whiplash. “How the fuck do you know?! I haven’t told you shit.”

“I’m a detective, Jason, I detect,” Tim pointily said, pressing buttons on the keyboard before a file with pictures of you showed on the screen. “Gotta say, they are kinda cute.”

“Why are you spying on them?” Jason asked, trying to keep his voice even. He was pissed he couldn’t have something in his life to himself. But his nosey siblings had to meddle in his life, love life too. It's like they have no life outside of fighting crime.

“I was bored,” he replied as Dick made his way over to the computer. No doubt curious on what Tim found.

“Don’t you have cases to solve?”

Tim shrugged, clicking through photos of you, which only served to piss Jason off even more. Why is it that he wanted to slowly get to learn more about you, that his brothers decided to do a deep dive without his permission? Times like these made him wish he stayed dead. “Your love life is more interesting at the moment.”

“Well, you can fuck off then,” he said, grabbing his Red Hood helmet from the nearby table and put it on.

“Where are you going?” Dick called over the roar of Jason’s motorcycle.

“Anywhere that’s not here,” he answered and sped off.

He had meant to drive aimlessly, but soon he found his way towards the library you were currently studying in.

He couldn’t get the images of you hurt out of his mind, and he convinced himself that it was fine to make sure you were okay. Otherwise, he’d be drowning in worry.

As he drove, he heard a cry for help. He almost dismissed it, thinking that someone who was on patrol would help them. But with his bike in idle, he heard it. Granted, the last time he heard your voice, you were all nasally with a hoarse voice from a sore throat. But he recognized you’re voice anywhere.

Parking his bike, he unholstered his gun and slowly made his way to the alley that your voice came from. Peeking his head around the corner, he saw you fighting with someone over your backpack. You held your own for a while, and Jason could only wait until there was an opening.

Was there a little part of him that wanted to see you fight? Maybe. but he doesn’t want to think about that now.

“Let go you asshole,” you grunted, pulling your backpack hard enough that the mugger tripped forward. Which gave you the time to kick him in the balls, hard. Jason winced at the impact and the mugger staggered backwards with a groan and you successfully gained back your bag. “Ha!”

“You bitch!” he yelled and lunged towards you. But before either of you could do anything, Jason surged forward and shot him in the leg. The both of you screamed, you at the sudden noise and the mugger at the pain. Without looking to see who was there, you ducked behind a dumpster, out of harms way.

Clever Little Bird, Jason thought as he stalked towards his prey. “Your mom ever teach you manners?” Jason asked. The mugger shook his head and begged Jason not to kill him. Jason was tempted too, but an annoying voice in the back of his mind, who sounded suspiciously like Bruce, whispered, don’t kill.

“Nah, I’m not gonna kill ya,” he grumbled and waved him away with his gun. “But if I see ya again, I ain’t making any promises.” He took it as it was, and limped away as fast as he could. Jason watched as he disappeared before holstering his gun and turned around towards you with a frown. You were curled in on yourself, hugging your bag tight.

“Hey,” he said softly, reaching out to tap you on your shoulders. With no warning, you quickly spun around and hit him with your bag. He winced as it collided with his chest, surprising him.

“Oh my god!” you exclaimed once you realized who he was. You dropped your arms from the next attack Jason had no doubt would have followed through. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize it was you.”

“What are you packing in there?” he grunted as he rubbed his chest, “fucking bricks?”

“Textbooks,” you answered sheepishly, hugging your backpack to your chest. “I’m really sorry I thought you were someone else.”

“No worries, I ain’t mad,” he said with a smile. Though you couldn’t see it given the helmet. “Hellva reflex though. Not many would fight back.”

You shrugged, tightening your grip on the backpack. The adrenaline must be wearing off, Jason noted. You were starting to shake. “What can I say? My flight or fight kicked in and there was nowhere to run.”

“Still,” he said, taking the moment to study you, and wishing he had shot the punk when he clocked the bruise forming under your eye. Other than that, there was nothing of note to worry about. Physically at least. Emotionally, he had no idea where your mind was at. “Are you doing okay?”

“Uh maybe?” you said, unsure yourself. You took a deep breath to calm yourself but it came out shakily. “I don’t know. I will be, once I’m home though.”

“Need a lift?” Jason offered, catching you by surprise.  You lifted your head to look at him, eyes narrowed. As if you were trying to see under the helmet. He stood there and waited. Eventually, you shook your head. Disappointment filtered through Jason but he pushed it down.

“Thanks, but I’m just down the street. Don’t think anything else can happen between here and there,” you said and Jason’s heart leaped at all the possibilities of what could happen.

“You’re gonna jinx yourself if you keep saying stuff like that,” he pointed out. You only shrugged and gave him a smile that made his heart skip a beat.

“I’m sure an angel is looking out for me,” you said, getting enough courage to pat him on the chest as you walked past him. “Be seeing ya, Red.”

Jason stood there for a moment and shook his head with a smile. You sure were something else. Though it was a short distance to your place, it didn’t stop Red Hood from following you until you made it to your apartment. Even then, he stayed on the roof adjacent to your building, waiting for your message saying you were okay.

You stood in front of your apartment door, keys in hand and frowned. With the adrenaline completely out of your system, and finally being alone, your mind raced with the events that transpired over the last couple of hours.

You had managed to make the last train and the journey was uneventful. It wasn’t until the walk home that your luck turned bad.

You were so focused on getting home that you didn’t notice the guy following you until he grabbed your backpack. You fought, Red Hood showered up surprising you and talked before going home.

You blinked at the memory. If you weren’t so in your head, you’d be giddy that you actually talked to Red Hood. You talked to Red Hood. What the fuck? You’re not even sure if you flirted with him near the end or not. But you were still processing everything.

You shook your head, trying to get out of it. You didn’t want to go inside. Going inside meant being alone, alone with your thoughts and that’s the last thing you wanted.

What you wanted was company, what you wanted was someone you haven’t even met yet, yet you knew you’d feel better after seeing him. You wondered if you called Jason, if he would pick up and ask to meet up. It couldn’t hurt to try.

With a half-baked plan, you finally unlocked the door. The first thing you do is plug in your phone, the second is to shower.

You wanted it to be quick, the faster you're done the faster you can leave the apartment. But you’re not sure what happened between grabbing your clothes and now. You just know that when you come to, your hair is wet and dressed in your comfortable clothes, and you find yourself standing in front of the mirror.

You feel better, if only a little.  You wince at the bruise and you could cover it up, but you’re tired and you don’t want to stay here any longer than you already have. Instead, you bushed your hair and leave the bathroom.

With your phone half charged, you grab it and your keys and wallet before leaving the apartment. As you walk towards the elevator, you open up your phone to see a few missed calls from your sister and Jason, and some texts from Jason asking if you’re okay. You made a note to call your sister in the morning and tried to ignore the guilt at seeing the messages from Jason. You pressed the button for the elevator, your thumb hovering over Jason’s name.

Maybe calling him will be a mistake, Despair whispered in your ear.

Or, maybe it’ll be the best thing in the world and you won’t regret it, Desire countered. And hope bloomed a little in your chest. With that, you pressed the call button without much thought and brought the phone to your ear.

One ring, you step in the elevator as you begin to second guess yourself that this was a bad idea. Second ring, you press the button for the lobby, starting to panic. Maybe he won’t pick up. Half of you hoped. By the third ring, you're off the elevator and almost hung up when the call connects.

“Little Bird?” Jason answered, and the grip on the phone tightened. You really didn’t think he’d pick up, and he doesn’t sound tired. For how late it is, anyways. If anything, he sounds awake, like he was waiting for something.

Guilt rears back into your stomach again when you realize he was waiting for you. Tears start to pool in the corner of your eyes, and you blink them away. You didn’t want to cry, that was for later, when you're curled up in a ball in bed. Waiting for sleep that you know will never come.

“Hey, you still there?” Jason asked, voice soft as if he knew that’s what you needed right now. Your heart warms at the person you’re slowly falling for. You clear your throat and hope your voice sounds normal when you answer.

“Hi,” your answer is a whisper, and you find yourself you don’t care.

“Hi,” he greeted back and you could hear the smile in his voice. “I’m surprised you're still awake. Figured you’d be in bed by now.”

"Yeah, me too. But I’m too wired to sleep,” you said, forcing your feet to move. You start walking out of the building and towards your favourite café that’s near your place. “Surprised you’re awake too. Still helping your brother?”

You’re so engrossed with your conversation, that you don’t feel eyes on you as you walk. And Jason hoped to keep it that way. “Nah, doing my own thing before going to bed. Surprised you called though. Usually, you shoot me a message.”

You stall for a moment, almost tripping on your feet, before walking again. “Er, yeah. Sorry I just…I don’t know.”

“You don’t have to say sorry. I don’t mind talking either. Besides, you've voice is music to my ears," Jason said, and you try not the blush with how casual he says things like that. "So, what’s up?”

You’re quiet for a second, chewing on your lip before blurting out the question, “do you want to meet up?”

You’re met with and you close your eyes at your stupidity. “Sorry,” you started, “that was stupid. You don’t have to if you don’t want to, I get it. It’s fine. Plus, it’s super late, like two in the morning late. And we should be sleeping but the thought of being alone right now scares me. And I don’t want to be alone and I just really need some company. And I thought why not Jason? I wanted to meet him for awhile and I’ve now realized it was bad timing and-”

“Are you sure?” Jason interrupted your rambling and you couldn’t be more thankful. You were positive you would big yourself in a hole you couldn’t get out of if you kept talking.

“Sure about what?” you asked dumbly, as if you forgot what you had just asked him. You’ve reached the café and stood in front of the door, peering in.

“That you want to meet up,” Jason said with a chuckle.

“Oh, uh yeah, I am sure,” you said with a nod. “I mean if that’s okay with you?”

“Sure is,” he said, “can I ask what brought this on?”

You're silent for a moment, debating whether to answer him or wait until he’s here to say. But you think of the bruise under your eye and you think it’s better to tell him now. “I, um, almost got mugged on my way home. He didn’t get my stuff, but he did clock me in the face. Could be worse though, but I don’t want to be alone right now.”

“Shit,” he breathed out, “are you okay?”

“Sorry,” you mumbled to the couple coming out of the café and stepped aside to let them go. You shrug even though he couldn’t see you. “Like I said, it could be worse.”

“Don’t. Don’t downplay what happened to you,” Jason said softly, “anyone would be shaken up after a mugging. You’re allowed to not be okay, sweetheart.”

The simple sentence is what breaks you, and you start letting the tears fall down your cheeks. “Damnit,” you mumbled, wiping your eyes with the sleeve of your sweater. “Have me crying in public Jason, not cool.”

“Sorry sweetie. Where are you? I’ll get there as soon as I can.” You rattle where you are and you can feel Jason’s smile through the phone. “I know the place. Order me a hot chocolate and I’ll be there in twenty.”

“Try not to break any laws now, Jason,” you muttered, though you smile all the same. Knowing you’ll meet Jason soon has you in better spirits since the incident happened.

“No promises.” With that, you hang up and walk into the building. You tell the barista your fine when she asks about the bruise and order your usual and Jason’s drink with a cake and find an empty table. You find yourself in the corner by a window, making your way over and you set your order down and sit facing the door.

You’re scrolling through your phone while you wait, trying to keep yourself distracted. And it helped with Jason texting you updates on what’s happening. You find it endearing, and a little silly, but it keeps you from spiraling and you're thankful.

Before you know it, you hear a roar of a motorcycle driving past, and you look up just in time to see them part in front of the building. You watch as they turn off the bike and climb off before taking the helmet off.

Breath escapes you as you recognize who it is, and pictures didn’t do Jason justice. Jason’s pretty, and you like the little white strip he has in his hair. It suits him, somehow.

Lifting your phone, you take a picture of him fluffing out his hair and type out a message saying you see him before sending it to him. You watch as he takes out his phone, frowning a little at the message. He whipped his head up and scanned the building until his eyes landed on you. All you can do is wave, and your heart almost leaps out of your chest at the smile he gives you.

It's brighter than you imagined and you're okay with it. Your eyes follow him as he makes his way inside. You stand when he makes his way towards you and you smile as he stands in front of you.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

There’s a moment of silence between the two of you before you start to laugh. Not a full belly laugh, just a light chuckle as if someone told you a joke. You’re not sure why you find the whole thing funny, but you do. Maybe you're too tired to fully process it completely.

“Are you okay?” Jason asked, a little worried. He took a step forward, arms moving to give you a hug, but stopped himself. Worried that you wouldn’t appreciate the gesture, scared that you might reject his touch. Your heart warms at the hesitation and you make the decision for him. Stepping forward, you wrap your arms around him and practically met into his chest.

After a moment of hesitation, Jason wraps his arms around you, hugging you tight. It's one of the best hugs you’ve ever had, and you can't seem to remember the last time someone hugged you that wasn’t family.

“I am now,” you whispered, blinking away more tears. “Sorry if this first meeting isn’t exactly to your expectations.”

“Nah, I wouldn’t change this for the world,” he said, leaning back a little. Snaking one hand to your chin, he gently lifted your face to look at you. He hissed a little at the bruising and you can’t seem to find yourself to be embarrassed about. Not with the look Jason’s giving you, like you’re the only person who matters to him.

“That’s good,” you mumbled, blushing a little with the attention he was giving you. You pull away a little, only to pull him to sit down. Your feet started to hurt and you needed to let them rest. Sitting across from him, you wrap your hands around your cup and let the heat seep into them. “You know, I almost didn’t call. Was too afraid you’d say no or something.”

Jason leaned over a bit and took off his jacket and you tried to not openly stare at his arms.

“Don’t think I could say no to you,” Jason said, taking a sip from his drink as you averted your gaze to his face. “But I’m glad you called, I was trying to work up the nerve to ask you to a coffee date or something. Something always stopped me though.”

“Well, we’re here now,” you pointed out, leaning over the table with a smile. “Nothing we can do but move forward.”

“Wise words coming from a lady who thought I was asking for a booty call,” Jason said with a smirk. You gasped at the reminder, and reached over to pull the plate of cake you had bought to share with him.

“You know, just for that, I’m not sharing this with you,” you said, and moved the plate closer when Jason moved to grab it.

“Now that’s not fair, Little Bird. It’s been a tough night dealing with my brothers all night, I need a little pick me up,” he said, trying to grab the plate from you again. You moved it just before he could grab it, and stuck your nose in the air.

“Guess you should have thought about that before insulting me, good sir.” Jason snorted, mock surrendering. You giggled and moved the plate back to the middle. “How was your night? Anything interesting happen?”

“Nah, not really. Turned out he didn’t really need my help, just said that to rope me in for family supper,” Jason answered, picking up the fork and stabbing a piece of cake before eating it.

“If you’re gonna be mean to the cake, I won’t share,” you threatened, trying not to smile when he gave you a look. “Family dinner huh? Can’t be all that bad.”

“It’s not,” Jason hummed, “I get to eat Alfred’s cooking and there are some siblings I don’t mind hanging out with. It can be too much sometimes, you know? Like they lived their lives while I was somewhere out there being raised by different people, you know?”

“Mm not really but I can imagine,” you said, smiling when he snorted. “But they’re trying, that’s all you can ask for. Question is though, are you trying?”

Jason shifted as you stared at him with raised eyebrows. “What is this? An interrogation?”

“Can be if you want it to be,” you quipped back. Following his lead as he leaned forward.

“If anyone’s gonna do the questioning, it’s gonna be me.”

“You think so?”

“I know so, Little Bird.”

The two of you stare at each other, waiting to see who cracks first at the challenge. You blink and you know you’ve lost. “Yeah okay. But you didn’t answer my question,” you reminded him, leaning back.

“Yeah I’m trying, just hard,” he answered and he took a moment to study you. “Are you doing okay? Not to be rude, but you look exhausted.”

You snort and rub your eyes only to wince when you touch the bruise. “I don’t know. I haven’t really had time to process everything properly.”

“How’d you mean?”

“Like I didn’t sit down and cry about it yet. When I got home all I wanted to do was leave. But I forced myself to shower but I think I blacked out or something, I don’t know. I don’t remember it. After that, I left my apartment as fast as I could and called you.”

“Which I’m glad you did, but now you have to take a moment and let it sink in. You can take it now, let yourself not be okay, I won’t judge. Hell, I’m probably the last person to judge.”

You gave him a sad smile and slowly slumping down into your seat, trying to hide from the mostly empty café. As if sensing what you’re trying to do, Jason gets up and moves to sit beside you, angling his body so you’re hidden from view.

A wave of fondness washes over you, and you think he can’t surprise you anymore then he already has. Taking a deep breath, you slowly let it out and close your eyes. Listening to Jason and let yourself not be okay.

The night plays like a movie behind your eyelids and you fight to keep it playing. You  feel all the emotions that you managed to push away hit you like a truck, making you tear up. You cover your eyes with your arm and feel movement from beside you.

But you're too embarrassed to look, so you wait until Jason’s right beside you.

“I’m going to hug you okay?” You hear Jason whisper close to your ear. You nod and almost flinch when his arms snake around your waist, but you don’t. This touch is warm, caring. The complete opposite of the mugger. You feel safe for the first time that night.

You relaxed in Jason’s embrace and balled your firsts in his shirt as you cried. He sat there, rubbing your side, whispering that you’re okay, that it will be okay, and waited until you were done. 

You sniffle when the sob has subsided but you don’t let go just yet. You’re exhausted, embarrassed that you ended up crying on Jason, and you're not yet ready to face him.

“You’re okay,” Jason murmured, squeezing you reassuringly. You only nod, moving slightly to wipe your nose with your sleeve. But as you move to do that, there’s a napkin in front of you.

“Thanks,” you muttered, taking it and blowing your nose.

“Feeling better?” Jason asked, moving slightly but he kept you in his hold. And you're grateful for it. His touch was something you could get used to.

“Yeah, much. I think I could sleep forever,” you joked, leaning into him you felt his chuckle more then heard it.

“Please don’t, I enjoy your company,” he said and you smiled. “I hope you feel the same.”

“I do,” you hummed, “I’m sorry for crying all over you. I think I got your shirt all wet and snotty.”

“Nothing to be sorry for. It was something you needed and I’ll gladly be your shoulder to cry on.”

Silence settled between you, and you closed your eyes feeling the need to sleep. The two of you stayed like that until Jason could feel your body relax into sleeping.

“Come on, I think it’s time for you to go home,” Jason stated, shaking you a little to keep you awake.

“Noooo,” you whined, pouting as you sat up slowly. “But I’m having a great time.”

“You need sleep,” Jason pointed out, collecting your garbage and standing to throw it out. When he came back, he put on his jacket and smirked as you stared. “We can always hang out another time. Maybe next time it won’t happen at three in the morning.”

“Promise?”

“Promise,” he answered, holding out his hand. You blinked at it before grabbing it and he helped you up. “Come on, I’ll walk you home.”

“You don’t have to have,” you said, quick to shake your head.

“Please? For my peace of mind,” Jason said as he walked the both of you out. “Plus it prolongs the time I get to spend time with you.”

Opening your mouth to argue, you stop yourself and feel the blush creeping into your cheeks. “Fine,” you agreed begrudgingly, though glad for the company.

The walk was short, you spent the time talking about anything that came to mind. And before you knew it you were standing in front of your door. Jason had insisted on walking you up, to make sure you didn’t trip on anything. He had claimed and you didn’t seem to mind.

You have thought about inviting him in, but sleep was calling you and you didn’t want to seem too eager.

“So this is me,” you said awkwardly, unsure how to say goodnight.

“I had a good time,” he said, smiling. You squinted up at him, only now realizing how tall he was. 

“I ended up crying.”

“You had a bad night, you deserved to cry after what happened to you,” he countered. “Like I said, I’m the last person to judge.” 

“I’m going to get that story one day,” you challenged, and he leaned down a little, smirking. Cocky bastard.

“I’m looking forward to it,” he said, and you gently punched him in the chest with a laugh.

“Text me when you get home?”

“Awe, you worried about me,” he teased. You rolled your eyes as you took your keys out and unlocked the door.

“I can unworry about you,” you said, swinging the door open. Before going in, you turned and gave him a hug, squeezing tight. “Thanks, for you know.”

Jason returned the hug and buried his nose in your hair. “Anytime. Glad you're feeling better.”

You stay like that for a moment before Jason lets you go. He cupped your cheeks and for a brief moment, you thought he might kiss you.

“Night Little Bird, see you soon.”

With that, he turned and walked down the hallway, leaving you feeling warm inside.

Walking in, you unlocked the door and immediately plopped into your bed, letting your body relax. Sleep pulled at you but you were determined to stay awake until Jason texted.

But sleep was just as determined and stronger, you fell asleep just as your phone chimed.

Jason I’m home

#jason todd x reader #jason todd gn!reader #jason todd #batman imagine #online match up #my writing

[iluvshinytwink]

Slow Dancing In The Dark With You

"I don't wanna slow dance in the dark."

Scenario: After you break up with your previous boyfriend Jude decides that he should stop waiting for another chance and he finally confesses.

Song: Slow Dancing In The Dark by Joji

DISCLAIMER ! This is a part two of a short oneshot in my page, if you'd like, check out part one!! ><

December 20, 2022 - 2:31 pm

Jude just finished practice and was now resting on a bench, phone on his stomach. His eyes were closed, arms in the back of his head which were used as support for his head. Suddenly, his phone vibrated him awake from his short nap. He took his phone to his face and read what it said

Incoming call . . .

Y/n 🙄

He hesitated to pick it up. He knew what was coming and he didn't want to hear you rambling about your boyfriend while you sniffled your tears away. It hurt, a lot. It not only hurts him that you're crying but it hurt even more than your boyfriend didn't see you how he saw you. Your boyfriend didn't treat you how he would treat you. Your boyfriend didn't talk to you how he would talk to you. He hated him and he hated the fact that he had to hear you cry about him and he couldn't do anything but provide you comfort, he hated that he couldn't do anything more.

He picked it up anyway. "Hi, Y/n." He started. "Hi, Jude!" You replied, enthusiasm in your voice. "Are you free right now? Let's go out somewhere." You said. "Yeah--" Jude replied but was cut off. "I have news for ya so come pick me up, okay?" You giggled. "Rude, didn't even let me finish." He smiled, sitting up straight. "Whatever, bozo. See ya!" You said before abruptly hanging up. Jude was about to open his mouth to reply but you hung up. He smiled and sighed to himself before getting up.

"So what's your news?" He asked as you entered the car. "Okay, excited much?" You rolled your eyes. He scoffed playfully. "Tell me." He said. "Fine!" You chuckled.

"I broke up with him." You smiled, looking at Jude. You saw his eyes widened as he looked at you back. "Really!?" He shouted, tone laced with his Birmingham accent. Your head cocked back as you laughed. "And you're not crying or nothing!" He smiled. You nodded. "Just a week ago you were entering my house literally crying a lake." He joked. "Shut up." You said, hitting him harshly. "OW." He yelped.

He was truly happy for you. You finally got to your senses and finally realized that you shouldn't be treated like shit to the point where you cry priceless tears for someone like him almost every single night. He was excited, ecstatic and everything in between for you. He was also happy for himself because this means he could confess to you.

"So where are we headed to celebrate?" He asked with a never leaving smile. "Let's head to a bar!" You said. "After you break up with your boyfriend your first move is to drink and find another one?" He tilted his head to you. "Exactly. Ain't I a genius?" You smirked at him while he rolled his eyes. "Whatever but if you get drunk I'm leaving you there." He said, driving. "You wouldn't do that." You crossed your arms. "Wanna bet?" He said, turning his head at you. "Sure. I know I'm important to you anyway." You said, smirking at him. For some reason his heart skipped a beat but he could only return an annoyed scoff.

December 20, 2022 - 1:06 am

"What time is it?" You murmured. The two of you sat on a bench, your head on his shoulder while waiting for your taxi since Jude was equally drunk as you and couldn't risk driving. "I don't know.. I think I have practice tomorrow.." Jude mumbled which made you chuckle a little. His eyes were about to close and a drunken smile was seen on his face. "Bro, everyone in that bar was.. ugly.." You hiccuped, leaning onto him. Jude chuckled, fighting the urge to sleep.

"Hey, Jude?" You said in almost a whisper. "Yeah?" He whispered back.

"I think I love you."

December 21 - 10:32 am

Jude was currently in his bed trying his best to keep sleeping as his headache was pounding. He turned to the side and widened his arm and his arm landed on a thick, fleshy texture. His eyebrows furrowed, thinking of what this possible texture could be. His mind went to the previous night where he remembered something-- someone, you.

His eyes quickly widened when he came to the conclusion you were beside him, in his bed. He sat up thinking the worst happened during the night. He looked at his chest, afraid his clothes were gone. Thankfully, they weren't. They were the same clothes as yesterday. He let out a sigh of relief, his heart finally calming down. He then looked at you, hair all over the place and body still covered with the clothes you were yesterday. Another sigh escaped his lips, hand on his chest.

He quietly got out of the bed, wobbling to his kitchen to find any pain relievers to help the pounding ache on his head.

He filled the glass with tap water, pill in hand. He stared at the pill for a brass moment, trying to remember the events from the night before.

"Hey, Jude? I think I love you."

Those words rang in his mind and his heart. He felt his heart drop to his feet. He blinked and fortunately snapped out of his daydream. He placed the pill in his mouth before washing it down with tap water.

He dragged his feet back in the bedroom, still trying to collect his thoughts. When he entered the bedroom he saw you awake. You sat up on his bed with a foul expression. He couldn't help but chuckle. "I think I drooled on your pillows, sorry." You blurred out. "I'll get you some pain relievers." He simply said, walking away.

You stared at the white blankets, recollecting yesterday's events in silence.

"Hey, Jude? I think I love you."

Your eyes widened.

Oh, shit.

December 21, 2022 - 2:43 pm

"Don't you have practice today?" You asked, looking at the clock which told the time. "Yeah, I called in sick though." He explained. "All thanks to you." He pointed his fork at you, squinting his eyes. "You enjoyed last night! I don't plead guilty for anything you accuse of." You declared. "Not the advanced English." He joked.

The two of you never mentioned what you said last night even though both of you were aware of it. In the back of your minds you prayed that the other person doesn't remember last night.

December 31, 2022 - 11:20 pm

The two of you were spending New Years together. You were both sat at his couch, watching a channel which was counting down New Years. "I've seen this one ad 4 times in a span of 30 minutes." You commented, eyes glued to the TV. "Really? I counted 6." Jude said. "You dumbass, it's 4." You looked at him. "No, it's 6 'cause you kept falling in and out of consciousness." He fired back. "I'm sleepy, okay.." You mumbled.

December 31, 2022 - 11:43 pm

"How long does a person take to put their SHOES on." You shouted from outside his house. "Holy shit, just wait!" He yelled. The two of you decided to go to a local park to watch the fireworks.

You sat on a sidewalk, scrolling through social media until he Jude finally exited the house. "Finally. Were you polishing your shoes or something?" You joked, stuffing your phone inside your jacket pocket. "Shut up before I leave you out here." He said, locking the front door.

December 31, 2022 - 11:53 pm

"Hey, Y/n?" Jude suddenly broke the silence. "Hm?" You replied. "Can I say something?" He asked. "Of course." You said in a soft tone. "I was hurting when you dated him." He said lowly. "I know." You mumbled. Jude suddenly stopped walking.

"It hurt me that you were running to me every night, crying." He started. "Every night, I prayed to every goddamn god that you'd come to your senses. And I'm happy you did. Since I have this golden opportunity, I want to take it even if it'll hurt both of us."

He turned to you. His beautiful eyes were laced with tears, new ones forming and trying to not pour out.

You stared at him, tears of your own forming.

"I'd treat you better than anyone could.." He said in a whisper as he looked down. "After seeing you cry so much, I promise-- with every inch of my body and soul I would never let another tear fall down your cheeks." He smiled weakly.

"What I'm trying to say is--" he was cut off when you embraced him. He was speechless for a moment but returned the hug. He tightened his arms around you.

"Will you let me be the one?"

You let out a hiccup as your tears hit the floor.

December 31, 2022 - 11:58 pm

"Keep your promises, dickhead." You choked, hugging him tighter. "I think I broke my second promise." He joked, embracing you tighter as his own tears fell on the ground.

January 1, 2023 - 12:00

The fireworks flew into the sky, booming with sound. The colors were so bright even though your eyes were closed. Jude let go of you. You opened your glossy eyes in confusion. Your eyes met with his.

He smiled at you lovingly before quickly making his lips touch yours.

The fireworks continued, crackling with excitement.

One day you'd see he was always the one

And today was that day.

Incoming call . . .

Y/n 🖤

(happy new year everyone!! i put small easter eggs in the oneshot so like im hoping someone finds them 🙁 anyways have a great new year with whoever you're spending it with!!!)

#jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham #jude bellingham x you #iluvshinytwink #imsoslaying #Spotify

[dudadragneel]

Hello guys! It's me!

How are you guys doing?

So. My dear anon who requested the Winter Cabin sickfic, you waited far too long!

FINALLY! THE REQUEST IS DONE!

I'm sorry for the delay! But it's here!

Just a warning: this s*** is long af 🤣

I really hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing!

💜

*requests are open, read pinned post*

Hii Duda, I thought of this idea for a request in a dream (funny I know) okay so picture the scene— SKZ is on break and it’s winter and they’re all staying at a luxurious cabin and y/n is excited to finally get some alone time and rest with her bf Hyunjin. But Hyunjin develops a bad migraine and he’s hesitant to tell her at first because she’s so excited for a romantic getaway but he decides to just be honest with her and tell her how bad he feels. Like he’s SO nauseous and keeps trying to be sick but can’t, We need the “I feel like I’m going to throw up” line somewhere in there because 🤭. Eventually he does start throwing up but then he can’t stop, every time he eats it just comes back up and he may be miserable but his lovely gf and members are always willing to help.

For an idol, having some free time was something as rare as seeing Halley's comet, so whenever they had, they made it worth every second.

This time, their so dreamed break was during the winter season, a time of the year when everything looked beautiful but also, sometimes, gloomy. The boys decided to rent a luxury winter cabin to spend part of their break and you were going as well.

Even though you went to some of their official schedules to keep Hyunjin company, sometimes you had to work or study, so you couldn't make it. So whenever he had free time or vacations, he would make sure that you both did as much as you could.

You were the organized one when compared to the rest of the group, so you were all packed a day before the trip.

Morning rose, despite being extremely cold, the sun was still rising and shining and it looked beautiful. You were going to leave at 7 AM to get to the cabin around 1 PM.

You were supposed to meet at the dorms and from there get on the bus you guys decided to rent and head for the cabin.

Arriving at the dorms, you were met with 8 frantic boys finishing packing.

- Good morning! Really, guys? Really?

You just stood there, at the doorway, with a not-so-amused or surprised look on your face.

- Oh hi y/n!

Han said running from one side of the room to another with a pack of clothes.

- didn't we plan this trip, like, two weeks ago? I'm not even surprised...

You said defeated as you entered the chaotic house and headed to Hyunjin's room.

- Oh, hello my love!

He said, going to give you a kiss and a hug.

- How's everything? All done packing?

- Almost. I'm just looking for my brush...

- You're bringing your painting kit?

- Yes! The scenery is beautiful, I felt inspired. I just can't find that brush...

- The medium-sized one?

- yeah!

- This one?

You said holding the brush in front of your face with a cute smile.

- Yes! You're life saver, babe!

- You left it at my house last time you spent the night.

- Thank you so much!

He packed his painting kit inside his bag before sitting on the bed. But one tiny action caught your attention, a subtle wince and a twitch of the eyebrow.

- What's wrong?

- what?

- you just winced. What's wrong?

- You noticed that?

- Yeah.

- We've been dating for 2 years and I still get surprised by how perceptive of details you are...

- So, honey, what's wrong?

- A teeny tiny headache...it must be from the cold

- Well, if it's from the cold then you gotta keep yourself warm. Put this binnie and these ear muffs. And this scarf.

You handed him a thick black scarf with a small piece of paper attached to it.

- Woah! You made this??

- Yes! Did you like it?

- It's beautiful! It matches any outfit! Thank you so much, babe!

He gave you a kiss and a hug and then stepped a bit away so you could wrap the scarf around his neck.

- Can you grab me that bag over there?

- Oh, you're bringing your camera?

- Yeah! This weather will give us some beautiful photographs!

- I'm bringing mine as well. A polaroid!

- Oh, you don't like my photos then?

He said jokingly and giving you a sassy look

- No, you silly! I just like the vintage touch to it! I feel like they portray better what we're feeling.

- So my photographs are lifeless?

- No, babe, stop.

You said smacking him on the shoulder, which made him laugh.

- I'm just joking.

You helped him finish packing and then headed to the living room to wait for the other members.

After 30 minutes, the dorm was still in chaos, and by now you were just wondering if you'd actually go on this trip.

- Guys, we have 40 minutes to get to the bus. Come on! I'm totally gonna mom you right now, but, make sure you're not forgetting anything and go to the bathroom before we leave. It's a 3 hours drive to the first rest area, so please.

- Wow, you really momed us...

You just dug your head into your hands and laughed.

Finally, everyone was ready to leave and they made sure that everyone was taking what they said they would, Chan and his computer, Felix and his brownie cooking stuff, and so on.

Much to your surprise, the company allowed you to go on this trip alone, without the staff, since you'd be going to a rather distant place.

So the bus was rented by all nine of you and it was a luxurious one, it was spacious, the seats were comfy, there was AC, heater, WI-FI, and some other cool stuff. Honestly, it felt more like a motorhome rather than a bus.

You sat with Hyunjin and he let you be by the window since you felt cold easier, so you could have some sunlight to keep you warm.

- So, we'll be trapped here for the next 3 hours, what do you want to do?

You asked turning to him with a big smile.

- Since we have a table, I'm thinking of sketching some stuff.

- Cool! Just be careful not to get car sick.

- I will.

- And I'm gonna start taking the pictures!

- Right now?

- Yeah! It's the perfect timing! I want to capture the raw moments, no posing, just you being your natural selves.

- Do you have enough tape/film?

- Oh I have plenty! A bag of them, actually!

He just gave a little laugh and turned his attention to his sketchbook.

You spent a good 30 minutes or more taking pictures of the boys and when you were satisfied you sat back down and opened a journal and started to glue them on the pages with little notes about the moments.

In the beginning, everyone was being loud and cheerful but then the duration of the trip hit and eventually, most of them were asleep.

Hyunjin was still sketching, even though you kept glancing at him and noticed he kept dozing off every once in a while.

- Babe, why don't you take a nap for a while?

- Hm?? I'm not sleepy...

He said pouting and rubbing his eyes.

- Yes, you are. I can see you dozing off

- I'm just resting my eyes...the light hitting the white pages is making my eyes sting.

- Really?

You took a glance at the white pages of his sketchbook and almost immediately closed your eyes.

- Oh, geez! Yeah, that's blinding!

You said making a dramatic pose that made him laugh. A laugh that always made you laugh.

- And you babe, what are you doing?

- Oh, I'm doing my journal!

- Now? Wouldn't it be better to wait until we got to the cabin?

- No, I like it this way. It feels more natural, to just let it happen.

- Interesting.

Hyunjin went back to sketching while you worked on your journal. He tried to concentrate on the pages in front of him but that stinging behind his eyes was still persisting, so he decided it would be best to just try and get some sleep.

- You know what, I'm gonna take your offer and get some sleep.

- I'll wake you up when we get to the rest area.

He put his headphones on, reclined his seat, and was asleep within minutes.

You finished your journal and also went to sleep, the weather was cold and the cozy clothes made you feel relaxed.

A few minutes into sleeping, Hyunjin noticed that the stinging in his eyes wasn't going away. Maybe he didn't get enough sleep? He didn't know, or rather, he didn't want to know, because deep down inside he felt a really light headache starting.

He woke up about 15 minutes before the bus arrived at their first stop, and just stayed silent, listening to music while you're asleep.

He was excited about the trip at first but that headache earlier, the stinging in his eyes, and the headache that was coming back now were worrying him. It was one of your first trips together in a while and he didn't want to ruin it for you, he knew you were really excited for it as well.

He felt nervous and disappointed, but he didn't want to worry you, so he decided to just brush it off. But he knew all too well that the stinging behind his eyes was a sign that a migraine was starting.

Before the bus came to a stop, his stomach was already starting to feel funny, he didn't feel nauseous but it wasn't settled as well.

The bus finally arrived at the rest area and they were relieved to finally be able to stand up and stretch their legs.

- Babe, wake up, we're at the rest area.

- Oh, Hyunjin. You're already awake?

- I woke up about 15 minutes ago.

- Are you okay?

- Yeah! Let's go!

The boys went directly to the bathroom and then to the counter to order some food, even though they had brought some with them, most of it was snacks, and they wanted to have a proper meal.

You got yourself some sweet bread and so did Hyunjin.

His stomach was funny but at the same time he was a bit hungry, so he brushed it off as being too much acid from not eating a lot during the ride.

He ate the sweet bread but it didn't sit that well, his stomach felt heavy after and still funny. He tried drinking sips of water to see if it would calm down but it didn't help. So he decided that maybe he would feel better if it was out of his system.

- Babe, I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

- Alright. I'm gonna eat some more.

He left to the bathroom and locked himself inside one of the cabins. He just stood there, breathing and trying to understand what exactly his stomach was feeling. And the light headache was starting to grow strong.

He wasn't sure if he wanted to throw up or not but something was wrong with his stomach.

He bent over the toilet and gagged, trying to bring something up, as he thought that throwing up might help ease the weird feeling in his stomach.

He gagged a few times without success and eventually one of the members came inside the bathroom making him freeze on the spot.

He leaned his back on the cabin's wall, as his head was beginning to pound from the effort of trying to throw up just a few minutes ago.

He squeezed his head in an attempt to make the pain go away but it didn't work. When he heard the member walk out he bent over the toilet one more time and tried contracting his stomach and gagged again, but nothing but saliva came out, and it certainly didn't ease the discomfort he was feeling. And to top that, the pounding in his head increased again by the effort he was putting his body through. He flushed, washed his face, and rinsed his mouth before walking out to meet with a worried expression on your face.

- Babe, are you okay?

- What?

- Not to be rude or invasive, but you took a long to come out. Is everything okay?

- Yeah. I'm fine. You don't need to worry.

- Okay. Let's go, the bus will leave in a few minutes.

He was trying to stay positive about everything, he didn't want to worry you, not when you were so excited for this trip.

The rest of the ride to the cabin was a mix between being chaotic and sleeping, and they couldn't wait to get there, eat, and sleep on a comfy bed.

The cabin was isolated, luxurious, and rather big. Its interior was mostly made of wood which had a nice contrast with the white from the snow outside.

- Woah! It's so beautiful!

They all said with their mouths wide open. Just like usual, the first thing they did was a little game to decide the rooms, and you participated as well.

In the end, you and Hyunjin got one of the bedrooms with a "king" sized bed.

You all went to your bedrooms to organize your clothing in the wardrobes since you'd be staying there for a little while. After that, the boys went downstairs to prepare lunch, they were starving.

- Let's go downstairs and eat something then we can decide what we'll do today.

- You can go first, I'll be there in a few. I gotta go to the bathroom.

- Okay.

You went downstairs and helped the ones in charge of cooking, prepare lunch.

After you left, Hyunjin entered the bathroom and the light bothered him a bit, there was this strange pain in the corner of his eyes when he tried turning them. His head wasn't giving him a break, it felt like the pain increased little by little as time passed. And to add to his suffering, his stomach wasn't exactly happy about it since earlier.

His mouth kept salivating and everything in his body kept telling him not to swallow any of it.

He just stood there in front of the mirror as he felt his mouth pool with saliva. He bent over the sink and just let it out of his mouth, it was so much it made him gag a little but he didn't vomit. He spat out a few more times before rising his mouth and going downstairs.

Lunch went on as usual, loud and fun. The food was delicious and warm, just perfect for the weather.

After lunch, some of the boys went to their bedrooms for a well-deserved nap, others played video games and you and Hyunjin decided to go out for a while since the snow wasn't as deep as to make a nice walk a difficult task.

There was a beautiful lake near the cabin and that's where you two went for a little date.

When you arrived at the lake, you were just as happy as you could be and Hyunjin was happy that you were enjoying the trip.

You turned around smiling at him and the image in front of him made him feel as if he was falling in love with you for the first time again.

The sun cast a light blue shadow on the snow behind you as well as the little bits covering the trees, and the light on the lake's surface cast a beautiful golden shine on your face. Hyunjin felt his heart racing at the beautiful image in front of him.

- I love you.

Was all he could say while looking at you with bright sparkling eyes.

- I love you too.

You kept on walking alongside the as he took pictures of you. Eventually, you reached a nice spot where you could relax so he sat down and pulled out his sketchbook and started to draw.

- What are you doing?

You asked him turning around and smiling.

- Just sketching the beauty in front of my eyes. I wish I had brought a canvas and paint with me. This scenery is just mesmerizing.

He just sat there taking in the imagery of the place.

But being in the cold was starting to show its effects. His nose was getting runny and the headache got a little stronger, he started sneezing which caught your attention.

- Bless you! You okay?

- Yeah! My nose is a little runny.

He said laughing at you with the cutest face.

- Let's get back to the cabin before we catch a cold.

You headed back to the cabin as the sun was starting to set, which made the place even more magical. You both turned back to look at that mesmerizing view one more and take the last picture of the day.

Getting back to the cabin everyone was sitting down deciding on what to make for dinner. But when they asked you what you wanted, Hyunjin's response made you raise an eyebrow.

- Hyunjin-ah, what do you want for dinner?

- Me? I don't know, I'm not really hungry.

- Really?

- Yeah.

You tugged his shirt and whispered into his ear.

- Are you okay?

- Yeah, I guess it's just the stress from the trip.

- Are you sure?

- Yeah.

You just looked at him and nodded, if he said so then why say otherwise?

He let you take a shower first because he knew you feel colder than he does.

The day had been nice until now, but everything started to go south the moment he entered the bathroom to take a shower.

Because of the cold, he obviously took a hot shower, and while that did provide some comfort in a way it also worsened his headache. The temperature of the water relaxed his body which made his blood circulate better, making his head start to pound. For a brief moment, he swayed to the side and leaned against the wall so he wouldn't fall and startle you. He changed the temperature of the water so it wouldn't feel as stuffed inside the bathroom and stopped to take a few deep breaths trying to control the sudden dizziness.

As he did that his stomach twisted making him feel nauseous. He leaned his head against the wall and kept taking deep controlled breaths to ease the nausea. But it was a failed attempt. He covered his mouth to surpass a gag so you wouldn't hear him because he really didn't want to worry you when you were enjoying this trip so much.

He bent over the drain and gagged silently and unproductively before he gagged again but nothing but bile came up.

He rinsed his mouth with water and washed his face a few times, calming himself before turning off the water.

He put on some comfy clothes and took a look in the mirror and notices how his complexion looked a little tired but he could try to lie to you by saying it was because of the cold. Even though he knew deep down you would notice something was off.

His head suddenly stung with pain and the dizziness washed over his body once more, he felt the floor sway beneath his feet and grabbed the edges of the sink for support, and crouched down before the worse happened.

He took deep breaths and tried to focus his eyes on the tiles of the floor.

When he deemed it safe, he stood up carefully and washed his face before leaving the bathroom.

Once out, he was met with a rather worried expression on your face.

- Babe, are you okay?

- Yeah. It's just because the bathroom was warm after the hot shower and I didn't want to leave.

He said laughing a little trying to cover what once was a slight headache and now was a pounding migraine.

He tried to brush it off but his body said otherwise. Suddenly his head stung making him squeeze it in an attempt to ease the pain away. Now he wouldn't be able to continue with the farce.

- Hyunjin, are you really okay?

- No.

He said almost breaking down but stopping before crying and making that pounding even worse.

He didn't want to ruin your trip or worry you, but now the pain was getting unbearable.

- My head is killing me.

- Oh baby, since when?

- Since morning, even before we left.

- Why didn't you tell me?

- It was so light before and I didn't want to ruin this trip for you. You were so excited.

- Hyunjin, you could've told me. You're not ruining my trip.

- I'm sorry, baby. I'm really not feeling well right now.

- Is that why you took long on the bath?

- Yeah, it suddenly got worse and it made me feel dizzy twice and I didn't want to pass out.

- Hyunjin, why didn't you tell me? You could've fallen! At least I'd be able to help you before you actually fainted.

- I'm really sorry, I didn't know it would get this bad.

- How bad is it right now?

- Like someone is hammering my head from the inside. I can barely open my eyes, because the brightness makes it sting even more.

- Oh my love. Come here.

You hugged him and pat his head, trying to relax him a little.

- Do you think you're up for some dinner?

- I think so. At least then I could take some medicine. Do you have it?

- Yes, I'll give it to you after dinner. Come on.

- One more thing. Can you please not tell the other members? I don't want to worry them.

- Okay.

You said sighing.

You both went down to meet with the boys in the living room and dinner was already set on the table.

- Let's eat!

Chan said smiling and sitting down.

You sat beside Hyunjin and gave him a little squeeze in his hand reassuring him you were right there for him if he needed.

You all began talking and eating and for a few minutes, Hyunjin kept eating and talking as well.

But as time passed, surprisingly, his headache increased even more. He grew quiet, which thankfully they didn't really give much thought to, as everyone was tired from the trip.

He tried to keep on eating, but his body decided otherwise. Each mouthful got harder and harder to swallow, to the point where he kept on chewing, afraid of swallowing the food. He took another mouthful and the process repeated until he managed to finally swallow the food.

He put his chopsticks down and leaned back on his chair, which caught your attention.

- Babe, you ok?

- Hm

He just hummed and nodded.

But his stomach was already decided that it didn't want that last bite. It started to turn and the nausea hit with full force, sending hot liquid up his throat not giving him much time to control the situation. He grabbed your hand and squeezed it tight.

He let out a muffled burp which ended up bringing his stomach content up even closer to his mouth.

- I feel like I'm going to throw up.

That was all he managed to say before a gag filled his mouth with vomit making him dart to the bathroom, you following right behind leaving everyone shocked.

- What just happened?

- I don't know. But he was a little off today, wasn't he?

When he got to the bathroom he barely had the time to reach the toilet before vomit spilled out of his mouth hitting the edges of the toilet in the process.

He grabbed the edges and kept standing up as he gagged and vomited everything he had for dinner. The fact that he had just eaten was the worst because it felt solid and harder to throw up and he swore he could feel every texture in his mouth as the waves came out.

You entered the bathroom shortly after and ran to his side and held his hair back as he threw up one more time.

- Oh my god babe.

He felt the grains of rice and that made him gag harshly, bringing up a stronger wave of vomit that arched his back and didn't give him time to breathe before another wave came out, this time coming out of his nose as well.

You tied his hair in a short ponytail and proceed to rub his back and stomach, providing him some comfort.

He just stood there, in the same position, grabbing the edges of the toilet for support, and left his mouth open, while saliva kept pouring out.

The whole strain that vomiting put on his body made his head feel like it was about to explode.

He could see black dots in front of his eyes and he felt the ground melt beneath his feet and his knees buckled without he could notice.

You were quick to grab him by his chest and waist to guide him down to his knees. You were thankful this time that he was rather light.

- Don't worry, I've got you. Let's sit down now, ok?

- ok...I feel dizzy...

He just let himself lean his weight on you as you had your arms around his chest and waist.

- let me stay like this for a while...

- Of course.

With the hand that was holding his waist, you decided to rub his lower back.

- You're gonna be okay. Just breathe for a while with me okay?

Chan knocked on the door before entering the bathroom to analyze the situation his dongsaeng was in.

- How is he doing?

- He threw up basically everything he ate.

- How are you feeling, Hyunjin?

Chan said kneeling down close to you.

- I feel like my head is going to explode. And my stomach just keeps on swirling around. Everything is bright and it stings my eyes.

He said, not daring to move from his position.

- I'll go tell the others what's happening and get your bed ready.

- Thanks, Chan.

You said giving him a soft smile.

He left the door open and Hyunjin tugged your shirt and motioned for you to close it before reaching the toilet. Once you were beside him again, he proceeded to throw whatever remained in his stomach.

- Oh babe, he's seen you sick before.

Hyunjin knew that, but he just wanted to be alone with you for a while. The lesser information around him, the better.

His stomach contracted painfully making him gag harshly another thick stream of vomit mixing with what was already inside the bowl.

The sigh and smell of it only made him gag more bringing more and more food up his throat.

- Jesus, babe. You're really not okay.

He threw up one more time before his stomach decided to eject only bile, and by now his throat was hurting with the strain and acid from his stomach.

- Honey, I think you're done. If you keep this up you'll hurt your throat even more.

- Hmm

You flushed the toilet, pulled him close to you, and cleaned his mouth with a wet cloth.

- Do you still feel nauseous?

- not that much...but let me stay like this a little longer, I don't feel like moving...

- okay...

You kept patting his head and drawing patterns on his hand and just let him relax a little.

- Are you feeling a little calmer now?

- Hmm

- Let's go to the bedroom then. Can you stand?

- I don't know...

He tried getting up with your help, but his vision got blurry and he slumped to the ground, the only thing keeping him from actually falling was you. You took a good look at him and noticed he was barely conscious, and you wouldn't be able to support his weight like that.

- Chan! Can you come here, please?

- What is it? Did he faint?

- Almost, we tried getting up but he just fell.

- Okay, I'll carry him to the bedroom.

Chan positioned himself in front of Hyunjin and you helped the sick boy get on his hyung's back.

- Don't worry, Hyunjin, hyung's got you.

Chan gave him a piggyback ride to your bedroom and propped him down on the bed, and you carefully guided him to lie down.

- Does that feel better?

- Hmm...

- I'll leave this bucket next to the bed, just in case.

- Thanks, Chan.

- we'll prepare some light soup for him to eat later.

Hyunjin just grumbled and shrugged at the mention of food.

- Are you gonna be sick again?

- No... just don't talk about f-food...please

- Sorry.

Chan left you two to go prepare something for his dongsaeng to eat once his stomach was a little more settled.

You got some cold water for the poor sick boy to drink to try to calm down his stomach and ease his throat.

- Here drink this. It's just cold water.

- Thanks...I'm sorry for ruining our trip...

- No babe! There's nothing to be sorry for! It's not your fault you're feeling sick.

- But I could've told you sooner but I didn't want to worry you...

- Stop saying that, Hwang Hyunjin.

You said firmly, which he understood, and shut his mouth before he made you angry instead of worried.

- Honey, can I take some medicine? My head is killing me...

- I don't think that would be a wise decision, babe. It's not good to take medicine on an empty stomach, and your migraine medication is rather strong.

- I don't know if I can handle this pain anymore.

- Then put this on.

You gave him an eye mask to help with the brightness and encouraged him to sleep while he couldn't take the medicine.

You guided him close to you and pat his head and started humming, you could feel his body relaxing and within a few minutes, he fell asleep.

He slept for about 2 hours before waking up, looking a little confused.

- Hey, babe. Are you okay?

- My head still hurts a lot...

- And your stomach?

- A little less nauseous...

- Do you think you can keep down some food?

- I don't know...maybe...

Chan brought the soup the group made while he was asleep, and they tried to make it as light as possible without losing all its taste.

- Here! We all helped make it! We hope you'll like it.

- Thanks, hyung. It smells good.

Chan left the tray with you and went back downstairs to meet the boys.

- I'll try to eat some...

- Good. But you don't need to force it. But if you can keep a few mouthfuls down, you can take your medicine.

- Okay.

He got a spoonful and hesitated for a moment before bringing it to his mouth. He took small sips of the soup to not upset his stomach.

- Hmm! It's good!

He said in a rather excited tone, considering how miserable he was feeling.

The boys brought bread for him to eat with the soup as well, so it could protect his stomach for his medicine.

He ate basically the whole soup and then took the pill with some water.

- It was really good.

- I'm glad you liked it.

You kissed him on the forehead and a bright smile, which he returned.

You two decided to stay seated on the bed because you knew that laying down right after eating in his state, would upset his stomach.

You watched some series and Hyunjin was dozing off every once in a while, and you were somewhat relieved. But you knew deep down this day was far from being over.

Hyunjin loved the food his hyungs prepared for him, it felt light on his stomach which he was grateful for. However, his migraine didn't give one sign that it was getting better. His head still pounded, it was as if he could feel every heartbeat inside of it.

His stomach started to twist and turn making him wake up, though he didn't open his eyes. He kept them shut in an attempt to go back to sleep but to no avail. The nausea grew stronger making his mouth start to produce more saliva, forcing him to swallow it.

But it didn't stop, his mouth kept pooling with saliva and he started to swallow convulsively, trying to keep everything in.

For a moment it worked, and he felt this relief wash over his body. But it didn't last long.

The nausea came back even stronger, his stomach was bubbling and he felt this bubble come up his throat and get stuck. He felt suffocated by it and he needed to burp.

He contracted his stomach lightly to force the burp out but it just brought up hot liquid up his throat and he knew this time he wouldn't be able to hold it in.

He stood up startling you, and quickly covered his mouth as he turned to his side of the bed. He tried getting up but it was too late, a harsh gag made some of the vomit come out, spilling through his fingers, but he kept his hand on his mouth, not wanting to make a bigger mess. He needed to get to the bathroom but he felt too weak to even get up from the bed.

You sat behind him, patting his back reassuringly.

- It's okay, babe. Just let it out. I'm right here with you.

You said, giving him a little kiss on his back.

The words of comfort coming from you relaxed him, so he let go of his mouth and bent over as another harsh gag arched his back sending another stream hitting the ground.

You quickly grabbed his hair to prevent from vomit getting on it and kept rubbing his back, up and down.

- That's it. Don't worry, okay? Just let everything out, you'll feel better after.

His body gave him only a few seconds to breathe before sending another wave of watery vomit up his throat, making him bent forward almost falling from the bed.

- Woah! I've got you, I've got you.

You said embracing him with your arms across his chest and pulling him back.

He burped another wave but the only thing coming out now was bile. His stomach contracted painfully, forcing something up to the point where his face got a little red, but only a tiny stream of bile came out.

- Honey, I don't think there's anything left in there. You'll just hurt your throat. Sit back a bit, lean on me.

He leaned his weight on you as you stroke his hair.

- I'm sorry for the mess...

- No, no, no. Dont, apologize. Dont worry. I'll clean this up in a bit.

You let him stay like that for a while, guiding him through deep breaths to calm down.

- I think I'm okay now...

- really?

- Yeah...I just feel lightheaded

- Then lay down, I'll clean this up.

- Okay...I'm sorry...

- Stop, please.

He laid down facing up, not wanting to give a chance for his stomach to do flips again and closed his eyes.

You left the room to get wet cloths, a mop, and a bucket to clean up the room before it started to smell like vomit and triggered Hyunjin's nausea again.

When you arrived at the kitchen, the boys gave you a worried look.

- Is everything okay?

- Yeah, I mean...Hyunjin threw up again.

- he didn't manage to keep the soup down?

- No... but he said it was delicious a lot of times, he really liked it, but his migraine is just making him suffer.

- Do you need help?

- No, at least not now. But I'd like it if you could keep him company later, so I can take a quick shower.

You said giving a shy smile.

They all agreed and just waited for your request.

Getting up to the bedroom, you found Hyunjin dozing off rather peacefully, so you tried to keep as quiet as possible while you cleaned the mess.

He didn't even flinch while you were there, so after you were done cleaning, you took the opportunity to take a shower. Yes, just like a mother would do with her kid.

You messaged the boys so one or two of them kept company to Hyunjin, just in case something happened.

Felix went upstairs to keep the sick boy some company while you showered.

Hyunjin woke up but was barely conscious and just greeted Felix confused.

- Felix? Hi?

- Hey, there. How are you feeling?

- Hmm, tired...

He said going back to sleep without much thought, making Felix giggle a little since he seemed okay.

He just stayed there, patting the sick boy's thigh, even though the latter didn't even notice until you came back.

You saw how he was still sleeping so you just whispered.

- Was it okay?

- Yeah. He didn't actually wake up, just for a few seconds, and went back to sleep.

- Thank God.

- We'll come upstairs in a bit to sleep as well, so if you need anything, you know where we are.

He gave you a pat on the shoulder before leaving the room.

Night fell and everyone settled in their rooms, despite the rather tiring day, the night was quite beautiful. And you were somewhat relieved that Hyunjin basically didn't move an inch since the ordeal earlier. You quietly laid down beside him and whispered a soft goodnight before falling asleep.

Around 1 AM, Hyunjin started to feel weird again. His migraine was just as strong as before and no matter how much he kept his eyes shut, they still stung.

He tried to focus back on sleeping, taking controlled breaths, but it was not working.

He didn't want to wake you up because he noticed that you were really tired and he knew that was mostly his fault, so he tried to deal with it alone.

He covered his eyes with one arm while his other hand rested on his stomach, and took deep breaths. But the nausea was settling in and it wanted everything out. He felt his stomach contract and try to bring up its content, his mouth started to pool with saliva making him start to swallow convulsively, while he squeezed his eyes and clenched his fists until his knuckles turned white.

The process lasted a moment but for Hyunjin, it felt like an hour. When he felt that horrible feeling going away, a wave of relief washed over his body.

He decided to turn to his side to not bother you, but that was the worst decision he made that day.

The moment his body turned, his stomach turned as well and sent its content up his throat without much warning, he knew he wouldn't be able to keep it down as he already felt the liquid hitting his throat and starting to fill his mouth.

He clamped his mouth shut and got up from the bed, rather quietly for someone who was about to throw up, so he wouldn't wake you up.

However, he got up too quickly, making his blood run through his body and making his head throb painfully, as if someone was hammering inside of it.

He leaned on the wall for support, while he still kept his hand over his mouth, he needed to at least get to the bathroom.

But he felt the strength drain from his body as his vision blurred with black spots. He panicked, not only was he not gonna make it to the bathroom but he was going to pass out as well.

He started to slide down the wall when someone grabbed him and held him up.

It was Chan, his fatherly instincts didn't let him sleep, knowing his dongsaeng was sick and anything could happen.

- Woah! I've got you, I've got you.

Hyunjin just looked up, barely opening his eyes to recon his hyung beside him.

His stomach contracted aggressively making vomit slip through Hyunjin's fingers and hit the ground.

- Oi! Let's get you to the bathroom, come on.

Chan quickly helped the sick boy to the bathroom, while the latter leaned his weight against him, which he didn't really mind since Hyunjin was light.

Getting to the bathroom, Hyunjin didn't even have time to reach the toilet so he went to the sink before vomit escaped from his mouth.

Chan stood by his side, holding most of Hyunjin's weight as he grabbed one of the edges of the sink for support.

Chan rubbed his back up and down as he threw up one more time and coughed.

- Oi, oi, oi! Let's move to the toilet, okay? Otherwise, we'll end up clogging the sink. I'll leave the water running for a while.

The older boy helped Hyunjin to the toilet, where he grabbed the edges and kept standing and looking down.

His stomach gave him a little break, only making saliva pour out of his mouth, almost like water.

Chan kept rubbing his back and reassuring him he was not alone.

- It's okay. Just take your time okay? Do you feel like you're gonna throw up again?

- Y-yeah.

Hyunjin barely managed to answer as a gag made him spill even more watery saliva.

He gagged again a few times but despite making him feel miserable and incredibly nauseous, his stomach wasn't sending anything up.

- I can't do it...

- What? You can't throw up?

- Nothing's coming up hyung...but it feels horrible

He was almost sobbing but he managed to hold it in since he knew that could just worsen his already killer migraine.

- Do you want me to help you?

- Please...

- Okay. I'll just press down on your stomach a little bit okay? It might feel uncomfortable but it will help.

- Ok...

Chan rubbed and gently pressed Hyunjin's stomach down in different areas to stimulate it to contract and expel whatever was left in there that was bothering his dongsaeng.

He gave one more gentle press in the middle and that stimulated a gag and a burp that brought up some vomit with it.

He kept standing up and just bent over a little more as he threw up after his hyung's help.

He barely managed to close his mouth and breathe before a harsh gag arched his back painfully, vomit coming out with even more force, making him bend even further and sway a little bit.

Chan was quick to wrap his arms around him and guide him down to his knees, to prevent the sick boy to injure himself.

- There, there, there. I've got you, hyung's got you.

He proceeded to rub his back from his lower back all the way up to his shoulder blades to help the sick boy expel everything inside his stomach.

And wave after wave, more and more vomit hit the water inside the toilet with a sickening sound, making Chan grimace a little.

- You're doing good. Let everything out.

He kept reassuring Hyunjin he was okay and that he was not alone.

Eventually, he was just dry heaving.

- Hyunjin, you're just straining your throat. Straighten your back a little.

Chan flushed the toilet and proceeded to help his dongsaeng through a breathing process to calm him down a bit.

Once he was finally relaxed he slumped down leaning his whole weight on his hyung.

- sorry...hyung...I feel...dizzy...

- Shh, it's okay. Just relax, I'm right here, I've got you.

Chan reassured embracing his dongsaeng as the boy's consciousness drifted away. In other situations, Chan would've gotten worried, but given what happened today, passing out was basically a blessing.

He waited a moment to make sure Hyunjin wouldn't wake up or get sick again before he stood up.

Chan got up, and helped Hyunjin up, which the boy also helped, managing to stand on his feet, still barely conscious.

Before he picked him up, Chan warned him so he wouldn't be surprised.

- I'm gonna pick you up, okay? I'll be careful don't worry.

The boy hummed in agreement.

Chan picked him up, carried him to the living room, and sat him on the couch.

- you good?

- Hmm.

- I'll take that as a yes. I'll go get a pillow and some blankets for you, okay?

- Hmm

Hyunjin's brain was barely processing any information at that moment, he was close to passing out, he just wanted to sleep.

Chan came back with the 'sleeping kit' and carefully helped Hyunjin lay down on the couch.

He barely laid down and was already falling asleep.

- Don't worry, Hyunjin. Hyung's right here.

He laid down close to Hyunjin to keep the boy safe and also keep him company.

A few minutes later, Felix woke up and found them in the living room.

- Hyung? What are you doing here?

He said whispering.

- Oh, Lix. It's Hyunjin. He woke up and got sick a few times.

- Is he okay?

- I think for now yes. He almost fainted twice, well, I think he actually fainted now. He won't even budge.

- I'll stay here with you guys as well.

- Oh, there's no need to. You can go back to sleep.

- I'd rather stay here and be able to help in any case.

- Okay, then.

Felix bought his pillow and blanket and settled in as well.

And one by one, the members gathered in the living room, and eventually all eight of them were sleeping close to each other.

Chan just kept observing as all his kids gathered around and smiled fondly.

The rest of the night went on without any other incident and they all slept peacefully.

The next morning, the day started with gloomy weather, the sky was grey signaling a rainy day, the perfect weather to sleep all day long.

You woke up to find that Hyunjin was not there and kindda panicked. You got up from the bed and started to look for him, you went to the bathroom and no one was there, so you went to the other boys' rooms and no one was there as well, so you understood what had happened during the night.

You made your way quietly downstairs and halfway through you noticed where everyone was.

You found them all curled up together on the couch sleeping profoundly, and you noticed how peaceful Hyunjin looked.

You couldn't help but smile at the scene in front of you and you carefully made your back to the bedroom and got your polaroid, when you went down again, not one had moved an inch.

You took a picture and then wrote a note before putting it in your journal and then joining them on the couch.

"Brothers from different mothers"

#emeto #sickfic #whump #kpop sickfic #kpop emeto #stray kids emeto #stray kids sickfic #hyunjin emeto #hyunjin sickfic #hyunjin x reader #skz x reader #SKZ fanfic #SKZ sickfic

[superdanverstrio]

Idea: Reader is a member of Super Friends. She is the youngest. Everyone in the team loves her so much, especially Kara and Lena. Then one day she goes to a mission alone because she is confident that she can handle the situation, but somehow, she will end up almost dead.

You could've die

A/N: So this took me more time then it should’ve so the ending is a bit rushed. But its finally done so hope you like it. And also even though this took me forever to finish I had an idea, I could make a part 2 were something happen with Y/N and there actually not ok or something like that. So if you would like that just tell me and I'll make a part 2.

Warning: R gets really hurt

request are open

Being the youngest person in a group of 8 superheroes certainly as its advantage and its disadvantages. Like the fact that everyone loves you, especially kara and Lena, and you loved all of them to. But since you were the youngest they were really overprotective of you, sometime they were treating you like a kid. Even Nia who was the former youngest super friend.

You were not allowed to go on any mission by your self, not even bank robberies. You officially became a super-friend a year ago and they were still not trusting you enough to go on solo missions, your powers were almost as great as Kara's abilities, you could create fire using solar radiation, you had super earing, freeze breath, super strength, you could jump really high and you can breath under water.

But they always feared you'll get hurt or worst. So you only did team mission where someone could keep an eye on you or you just stayed behind.

You were in the D.E.O arguing on a mission with J’onn. "Please j'onn." You plead. "Y/N i said no, your To young and your not trained enough." J'onn said in a Stern voice. "I've been training for a year and its a simple in and out mission, ill be fine."

2 days ago the D.E.O found an abandoned Cadmus base. They planned on sending an agent there to check if they didn't left some useful information there. You really wanted to do this mission, you wanted to prove to everyone you're potential, that you're ready to have more responsibility as a superhero.

You saw kara walking towards you and j'onn. "Kara, can you please tell J’onn that I have  enough training to go on that solo mission." You ask kara. "Y/N I'm sorry but J’onn is right it could be dangerous, and your to young you've not learned enough to go alone."

You crossed your arm, you thought that kara would be on your side. "How am I suppose to learn if i can't even try." J'onn and kara look at each other then back at you. "I'm sorry Y/N we can't let you go." You groan, turn around and walk away frustrated. It wasn't fair, it was really one if the simplest mission ever and they didn't even trust you to do that.

But there was one way to show them that you were capable. Tonight you were gonna go to the ex Cadmus base and do that mission by your self. The only thing is that you don't know were is this Cadmus base, luckily for you, you have just the right powers to spy on people.

You spend the rest of the day spying on j'onn and other agents, and by the end of it you had all the information you needed to do this mission alone. ________________________________________________________________

It was 11:00 PM and you were ready to go. You went to the exact coordinates that J’onn said earlier. You jumped building to building to get there quicker. It was a small 2 story building in the middle of no where, it looked old, The door had a lock on it, you grabbed it and with super strength you smashed it in pieces.

you opened the door and went in. The inside was pretty much empty, except for what looked like empty cages and boxes here and there. You adventure further into the building, after many minutes of searching rooms, you started to feel like you were being watched, despite your growing fears you kept on going further into the building.

'Maybe it wasn't a good idea after all.' You thought. You entered an other room, this one was huge. You expected the room to be empty like the rest, so you were a bit surprised when you saw the room was filled with computers, a little like the D.E.O  control center with less light and smaller.

You inspected the computers, unlike the ones at the D.E.O those computer looked super old. You tried to open one, after a few second the screen open. "Of course there's a password." You told your self.

You were so focused on trying to figure out the password you didn't hear the footsteps coming your way. "Don't move!" you heard someone say from behind you. Your put you hand up in the air and slowly turn around. 6 men with a gun each were standing there guns pointing at you, the man standing in the front and a gun that was definitely not made with earth material, it was for sure alien tech.

You had no idea how to get out of this situation. You thought about running away but obviously you wouldn't get really far, so you did the first thing that popped up in your mind. Your hands lit up with your fire energy. You throw a ball of fire at them, you watch as the ball hit the men but didn't do anything.

' Body shield. Really!' You thought. Not even a second later the man holding the alien looking gun shoot you, you were thrown back ward and, knock over one of the table. You groaned when you hit the ground, you got back up but immediately felt dizzy and of balance, whilst trying to steady yourself you heard 2 guns go off, before you could do anything you felt a sharp pain in your lower abdomen. A loud cry left your mouth as you clutch the wounded area, you fell on your knees and watch as a growing red spot started To form on your clothes.  

You opened your signal watch and clicked on the diamond shape button.

 Kara's apartment

 Kara was starting to doze off when she heard your signal watch go off, she jumped out of her bed and in a second she was out of the window in her super suit.

 Back at the old Cadmus base

 You knew kara was fast but you still couldn't stay behind that table, you got up and despite the dizziness and pain you managed to use your freeze breath on them, they were blown away slightly and you use that momentum to limp out of the room. You Walked as fast as you could in the long corridor but you could clearly ear foot step catching up to you. You looked behind to see how far the man were and when you turned back you saw a gun pointed directly at your face, you stopped and raised your hands in the air, the person holding the gun hit you in the face with it, you cough a little and tasted blood in your mouth. Suddenly you felt extremely weak and exhausted, your legs give out from under you and you fell to the ground. After that you don't really know what happened you just ear someone talking to you, your not sure who it is but you think it might be kara.

 Kara arrived to a building's location, she used her x-ray vision to see where you were, she saw you laying on the ground surrounded by a group of arm guards. She sped in the building and on the second floor, she made quick work of knocking the guards down. She went to your side and turned you over on your back, she saw the blood on your suit and panicked. Your eyes were closed and for a second she thought you were dead, but then she heard your heart beat it was slow but still there. "Y/N, can you hear me." She ask. You nodded slightly. "Ok good, can you open your eyes for me." You opened your eyes but then closed them again, they were too heavy and you were too tired. "Hey... no... no no no don't fall a sleep on me, please."

You tried your best to keep them open but it was extremely difficult. A warm liquid started to fill your mouth, it had a strange metallic taste to it, 'Blood?' You thought, you hoped it wasn't but it was the only thing that would make sense. You coughed and some of the liquid dripped down your chin and on you cheek. "Shit, that's not good. Ok, Y/N? I'm gonna pick you up and bring you to the D.E.O, its gonna be ok, I just need you to stay awake ok?" Kara said with a shaky voice. " 'll try." you managed to say.

Kara scooped you up in her arms and quickly flew to the D.E.O, you passed out from exhaustion and blood lost on the way there.

When kara arrived at the D.E.O, she handed you over to the medical team, and they immediately started to treat your injuries. Kara then called everyone to let them know what happened. Lena was the first one to arrive at the D.E.O. "What the hell happened?!" Lena ask when she arrived in the waiting room. "Lena, calm down please." " Kara you call me in the middle of the night saying that something happened to Y/N, and that there is in surgery. so no I'm not gonna calm down, now tell me what the hell happened." She said extremely worried about you. " Ok I'm sorry. So Y/N is hurt pretty bad, she was shot." Kara explained worry visible in her face. "By who." Lena asked. "I don't know, I found her in the ex Cadmus base we were suppose to investigate." "What where they doing there alone?"

"Well earlier, Y/N asked J'onn and I if they could investigate the Cadmus bas in solo. We didn't let them because it was to dangerous, I guess they want anyway. I just don't know how they got the location, we didn't tell them obviously." Kara said. "Why would they do that?" "I don't know."

They both waited in silence. After sometime Alex and kelly Walked in, and Kara explained everything to them. By the time you were out of surgery everyone was waiting in the waiting room. Doctor Millers came in the room to inform them of your condition. "Y/N is going to be fine." She announced. Everyone let out a breath they didn't know they were holding, they were all relieved to hear that. " But they do have severe injuries. They were shot twice in the abdomen. One of the bullets managed to punctured one of there lungs, but we managed to fix that. The other didn't damage any organs." They all nodded in acknowledgement.

"when can we see them?" Kara ask impatiently. "You can go see them now but, they're gonna be asleep for a while" The doctor said letting them in your room.

The next day

You woke up the next day to voices surrounding you. You slowly opened your eyes, but quickly closed them again when you saw the blinding lights above you. " Y/N?" You heard a familiar voice beside you. You reopened your eyes and saw Kara worried face standing over you. "Hey, your finally awake. Are you okay does something hurt?" Kara ask from beside you. You notice the wires attach to you and that most of your team was at your bed side. "I'm ok, i think." You said in a tired voice. "You think?" Lena ask from your other side. " I don't know, i feel kinda numb."

" Numb? Is that suppose to happen?" Kara ask looking at alex. "Numbness can be a side effect of surgery so yeah you might feel numb for a couple of hours." You and kara both nodded in acknowledgement. "How long was I out?" You ask. "A day." Alex responded. "And what happened?" You ask. " Emm... I found you in the abandoned Cadmus building we were supposed to investigate. You were shot twice in the abdomen. You're really lucky i got there when I did, you could of died Y/N." Kara said wiping some tears away and you could clearly see the worry in her eyes. " I'm sorry." you said feeling guilty for making kara cry.

"It's fine don't worry. Just... please don't ever pull something like that again and, get some rest." " I promise." You said closing your eyes and drifting back to sleep.

 You woke up after some time with a sharp pain in your abdomen. You groaned and slowly opened your eyes. "Is everything ok Y/L/N?" Your doctor ask whilst checking your vitals. "it hurt." Was the only thing you said but she still understood. "Ok just wait a second." She said making her way to the other side of the medical bay. She came back not long after with a syringe. She gave you the medication through the IV in your arm. The pain meds didn't completely take away the pain but it did a good job at easing it. "Thanks." You thanked, she gave you a smile and left the room. After a few minutes Lena came in the room.

 "Hey." She said. "hey." "Are you ok?" She asked, coming to sit beside you. "I'm as ok as I can be." You say with a small smile. "Good." She said. "Y/N can I ask something." Lena ask after a minute of silence. "Mmmm." " Why did you go without telling anybody?" She ask. You took a deep breath and answered. "Because I wanted to prove to everyone that I was capable to do a mission on my own. And that I was ready to have more responsibilities. Because you guys never let me go on real mission cause I'm not 'trained enough'. Even if I've been training for 2 years." You said a serious look on your face.

 "Y/N we just want to protect you." "But I don't want you to protect me i want to be out there, i want to be a superhero like kara, Alex or Nia. But no one lets me. And after what happened i doubt they'll ever let me." You say with a sigh. "You know what, I will talk to John about this and I'm sure he'll understand, and maybe we could come to an agreement, but on one condition." She paused. "Don't ever do this again, you hear me. Ever again. You really scared us, not knowing if you were gonna make it was, terrifying, especially for kara." "I promise i won't." You said. "Is kara mad at me? Last time we talk she really didn't look happy with me, and she didn't came back to talk or something." You ask. "No don't worry she was just very worried for you. She'll come soon I'm sure." she said reassuringly.  You then both continued talking for a while. Before you fell back a sleep.

Seeing that you'd fall asleep, Lena left your room to go talk to kara.

Kara was standing in the D.E.O lobby, leaning on the rails. Lena stood beside kara. " How are they?" Kara ask. " You know you’d know that if you go and talk To them." Kara sight " I know... i know i should go and see them... i just... i Feel guilty for what happened." "Why would it be your fault, your not the one who shot them, you saved them." Lena stated. "I know but i can't stop thinking that if i had taken there side earlier we could of been able to know sooner that they were in trouble." "You did what you thought was right and they're not really mad at you." "What do you mean not really, they're mad at me for something else?" " No they're... you know what just go talk to them." Kara nodded and went to the med bay. ________________________________________

When you woke up again you saw kara on her phone sitting next to you.

"Kara?" you ask sleep evident in your voice. She smiled down at you and closed her phone. "Hey, how you feeling." She asked. "I'm fine. wounds hurt a bit but  it's fine." "Good good." An awkward silence fell between you before both you talk at the same time. "I just want to say..." you say as kara speaks too. "Y/N I'm really..."

"Sorry you can go first." Kara says "Ok well i just wanted to say that I'm really sorry." You say sincerely. "Why." " Lena told me i scared everybody, and it really wasn't my intention, i just wanted to prove to you all that i was ready to have more responsibilities and i can go on missions on my own." You said trying to get in a sitting position but groaned and flopped back down as it pulled your stitches. "But after that i doubt I'm going to be able to step foot in a fight again. I just wanted to stop being treated like a kid." You sigh. "Your right. We should've let you in on more missions, I'm sorry we didn't. I promise were going to stop treating you like a kid. But you need to promise that if you ever do this again please just tell someone. So that we can know the second you're in trouble." She said holding your hand. "I promise." "Not that your allowed to do anything like that again." She says smiling a bit.

#supergirl #supergirl reader insert #supergirl x reader #kara danvers #kara danvers imagine #kara danvers x reader #kara zor el x reader #kara danvers x you #lena luthor #lena luthor x reader #cadmus #reader insert #hurt reader #fanfic #supergirl fanfiction #alex danvers x reader #melissa benoist #katie mcgrath #melissa benoist x reader

[pulisicz]

lavender haze - christian pulisic

i feel the lavender haze creeping up on me

summary - you are the sister of the infamous taylor swift. you have always been known as the “good girl” and upholding an innocent reputation. while traveling with your sister on tour, you cross paths with a certain soccer player while in london.

pairing - christian pulisic x fem!reader

song inspo - lavender haze (taylor swift)

warnings! - a little bit of strong language

word count - 2.5k

note - i have no idea why i wrote this if i’m being completely honest

part two

-

you woke up around 7 am, only about two hours left in your flight. you get up to find your sister who is somewhere on the plane.

it was your first time going on tour with taylor, and you weren't used to the whole private plane situation, being able to get up whenever. you had never really been in the public eye like her. sure you had a level of status and paparazzi was invested in your life, but nothing near what your sister deals with.

you walked closer to the front of the plane to find your sister wide awake and going her makeup. you looked to the other side of the plane to find joe still fast asleep.

"you're up early". she said as she continued putting on mascara.

it was true, you weren't very much of an "early bird". you liked to take your time waking up in the morning, and oyu often woke up around 10 am, never anywhere near 7 am, but you wanted to make sure you were up a little earlier to give yourself some time to wake up more before you landed.

you took a seat across from taylor and scrolled on instagram as she finished her make up.

"so, you excited to go to london?"

you put your phone down to look up at your sister.

"of course! the only time i've gone was for that one school trip in like freshman year. i'm excited that i can actually see the stuff i want to this time, and no have to follow an itinerary".

you and your sister sat in silence, mindlessly scrolling on your phones, and around 8 am joe finally woke up. his hair looked a mess, which earned a giggle out of you and taylor.

-

training finished a little earlier than scheduled, which of course, none of the boys were complaining.

"hey chris, wanna go to a bar tonight?" mason proposed.

"ben and reece are going, and we're also trying to get joao to go. you in?"

christian hadn't gone out in a few weeks and thought it was long overdue for a night out with the boys.

"yeah, i'm in. just let me know what time you guys are thinking".

"sick, okay".

mason and christian dabbed each other up and finished packing up their stuff from the locker room.

-

the plane was about to land, and as much and you liked the ride, you were ready to get on the ground. you were just so eager to explore the city. you had the whole day to do so, which made you giddy.

"calm down y/n, we land in like 10 minutes". taylor said, laughing a little bit at your eagerness. you couldn't sit still, it was like the most important thing in your life was about to happen. you had never been more excited for anything in your life. well, that might be on over-exaggeration, but to say you were excited was an understatement.

the plane finally landed, and you were the first one out the door, thanking the pilots and staff.

"finally here!"

-

having a chill day was just what christian needed. early training days were nice because that meant the boys had the rest of the day to do whatever they wanted. christian had gone out to but things from the grocery, and got to go see a movie, something he rarely did.

it was about 3 pm, and he was on his couch reading a book. mason had said 6 pm, so christian still had a good 2 and a half hours before he needed to start getting ready.

it was moments like these that christian loved. quiet moments, where he could sit and read, not thinking about anything else.

-

after a full day exploring, you were ready to get back to the hotel. it was only around 3 pm, but a whole day outside was more than enough for you. joe and proposed the idea of going to a bar for dinner and drinks later, which sounded amazing at the moment, but all you wanted to do was lay in your bed and read. you started the shatter me series, which was addicting to read.

time moved faster than you would have liked and before you knew it, it was 5 pm. they were planning to leave for the bar at around 6:15 pm they could get there at around 6:30, so you started getting ready. you didn't want to rush herself, and took your time.

you finished getting ready at around 5:50 pm, which gave you some time to spare, which you of course used to read.

ready? taylor texted, letting you know that she and joe were probably already in the hotel lobby.

yup, on my way down

-

the second christian got to the bar, he was greeted by his friends.

"there you are, mate! thought you would never show". reece yelled, acting like he was just so late. it was only like 6:09, not even a full 10 minutes late.

christian got a beer and joined his friends at a booth while they waited to order food.

"i was not in the mood to come earlier, but jesus, i'm hungry".

"yeah me too, i'll go flag down a waiter so we can get our order in".

just as mason leaves to get a waiter, people start crowding the front door.

"what the hell is going on?" christian asks, while trying to peer around their booth.

the insane crowd of people made it hard to see. the boys regained their focus back when mason walked over with a waiter.

"what can i get you all?"

-

as you arrived at the bar, you were met with a crowd of people.

great.

you had gone the whole day without crowds of people or paparazzi, but of course that streak to be ruined.

all good things come to and end i guess.

"just ignore the, lets go find a table. booth good?" your sister acts.

you always looked up to her, especially now and how she deals with all of the fame and crowds of people. you have to deal with it on a certain level, but never to the degree that she does, and you find it more than impressing. while trying to find a table you spot some familiar soccer player.

they play for chelsea! at least i think so.

you didn't know much about soccer, but you knew of some players, and considering your friend kendall is good friends with neymar jr, you knew a good amount.

you brushed the soccer guys out of your mind, only focusing on how hungry you were.

you got a nice booth in the corner of the bar. it was sort of hidden away from everyone, but you were still able to see the entire bar.

a waiter finally came to your table and you were more than happy.

"what can i get you guys?"

you spoke up first, eager to get your order in.

"i'll get a guinness, and then a cheese burger, american cheese, with french fries".

taylor gave you a shocked and puzzled look, but didn't say anything.

"i will have a cheese burger with provolone cheese and chips, thank you" joe said, putting an enphasis on chips as he looked at you.

ever since you met joe, the two of you had a running joke about fries vs chips, and the joke never went away.

taylor had gotten the same thing as you, and the waiter finished writing before walking back to give to order to the kitchen.

"y/n, what the hell, why did you get a beer?"

so that's what that face was about

"tay, i'm 23, not 5"

whenever you went out with your sister, you had never really gotten alcohol, and she still viewed you as this little girl, so whenever you showed any ounce of maturity, she simply denied it.

after about 20 minutes, your food was finally brought out, along with your drinks. you downed the burger faster than both joe and taylor, so you decided to hit the dance floor to pass the time, and now that you had some food in your body, you were feeling 10 times for energetic.

-

after christian had finished his food he walked over with mason to the dance floor. if there was one thing you needed to know about christian and mason, it was that they would never pass up an opportunity to dance.

christian and mason lost each other, and christian eventually found a girl to dance with. she was quiet a bit shorter than him, around 5'4" maybe.

after about one song, the music cut out. one of the bartenders said that they would try and figure out the problem as soon as possible.

"wanna get a drink?" christian offered. the girl nodded and they made their way over the the bar.

-

to your surprise, christian came up to you and asked to dance. how ironic. you of course could pass up the offer, and grabbed his hand. your back was pressed up against his chest, with his hand around your waist. you were enjoying yourself, until the music cut out. after the bartender said they would try fixing it, christian offered to go to the bar and get some drinks. how could you pass that up?

christian guided you to the bar with his hand still on your waist. you took a seat and was immediately met with the bartender asking you what you wanted to drink. you ordered another beer, to which christian ordered the same thing.

it was surprisingly not awkward between the two of you. you had realized you didn't introduce yourself, so you made sure to do so.

"i'm y/n by the way".

christian looked to you and gave you a smile.

god his smile was charming. you took a second to really look at his features. everything suited him so well, he was more than attractive.

"i'm christian".

he gave you a wink, and then the bartender came over with your beers.

the two of you chatted for a good two hours, before joe came over to tell you that it was time to leave. you sighed and told him you would be right out.

"looks like i gotta leave."

christian gave a little pout before taking out his phone.

"here, can i get your number?"

you gave him a smile and took his phone to put in your number.

"i'll see you around, y/n".

and with that you got up and caught up to joe and taylor.

-

christian sat there pleased before realizing who had come to get you.

was that fucking joe alwyn?

◯︎

the next morning christian woke up is a massive headache. he and his teammates had stayed out way too late, and he drank more than he should've.

even after all those drinks, christian still managed to remember you. after christian had gotten the chance to wake up a little more, he texted you.

hey, it's christian

this might be a long shot, but do you want to maybe go out to lunch?

christian sat there, anxiously waiting for a response. he knew it was very possible for you to still be in bed considering it was only 9 AM, but there was still a chance you would be up. christian turned on the tv to pass the time, letting his phone go dim while he focused on whatever show was on.

about 5 minutes later, christian's phone lit up.

y/n: yeah, that'd be nice! what time were you thinking?

christian picked up his phone and read over your text, and then read it over again to make sure he wasn't going crazy.

christian: how about 12-ish?

he waited for a response, and patiently looked at the three little dots that appeared on his screen.

y/n: 12 sounds great.

christian liked the message and then gave the address of his apartment.

christian: there is this really good place about 10 minutes walk from my apartment if you just want to meet me here.

you liked his text, leaving christian to his thoughts. he subconsciously started playing out how the lunch with you would go. christian never really go nervous for dates, especially something as casual as this, but you were different. he couldn't place his finger on it just yet, though.

◯︎

you called taylor to let her know that would be out in case she needed you for anything.

"a date? y/n, we haven't even been here two full days, how the fuck did you find someone to go on a date with?"

you weren't going to give her a straight answer, so you just brushed over the details.

"it's just this guy. it's super casual. i'll be back by like 2 okay. love you".

before taylor could protest even more, you hung up the phone. you touched up your makeup one last time before heading out of your hotel room.

you had gotten an uber to christian's apartment, and texted him that you were here.

christian: come on up to my apartment

and with that you headed to his apartment. once you got to his door you gave it a knock. he opened the door, and you tried your hardest not to blush. he wasn't even wearing anything nice, just a simple pair of black jeans, a white t-shirt, and a silver chain. he might have been wearing the most basic outfit, but it looked so good on him.

christian was the first person to break the silence.

"hey".

"hey".

"so shall we get going?"

you gave him a nod, and you stepped aside as christian stepped out of his door, locking it behind him.

on your way to the restaurant, taylor had called you.

"y/n, are you on your little date yet?"

"yeah i am, what do you want, taylor".

of course she had to call you while on your date, if that's what you can even call this. it was technically a date, but you felt like it was more casual than a date.

"just letting you know that you need to be ready to leave for the venue at around 5 PM, okay? joe said you and him can grab an uber, sound good?"

you agreed and hung up the phone.

"i'm sorry, that was my sister. we have plans tonight and she was making sure i didn't forget". you said with a little laugh.

christian nodded, and the two of you continued your conversation, before christian got a phone call.

"mason, i'm a little busy right now, but what do you need?"

"i know, it's at kai's house, i didn't forget. yeah okay. i gotta go, but i promise i'll be there. bye"

christian hung up his phone and sighed.

"sorry, just mates of mine. i too have plans tonight, and they were just reminding me for the hundredth time".

before the two of you knew it, you were at the restaurant, finally.

-

knowing joe alwyn, and a sister named taylor? you gotta be fucking kidding me, right?

-

mason and kai? so he most definitely does play for chelsea.

note - i did not mean for this to be so long, so i do have a part 2, which is linked at the top of this page. so sorry this is unnecessarily long

#christian pulisic fanfic #christian pulisic #chelsea fc #chelsea #football fanfic #football #soccer fanfic #soccer #fanfic #imagines #fanfic writer #imagine #world cup fanfic #pulisicz

[eyeslikewatercoolers]

For our little crowd of rarepair shippers, either Jarizona or Roura with New Years countdown/party

Cute!! I'm gonna go with Jarizona for this one. Thank you to @imtooobsessedrn for helping me brainstorm for this one. Also the HSM reference was unintentional oops

11:50 pm, December 31st.

Arizona looked at the clock from across the room. She's been here since the early afternoon helping Katkat set up for the party, and now she was ready to get back home.

Mostly because she hasn't even had the chance to barely say anything to her crush the entire night. That was a big part of why she just wanted the New Year's Eve Party to be over with.

"The clock isn't going to tick any faster the more you stare at it." Bernie walked up next to her, holding two plates of ube cake.

"Just let me try, it could work." Arizona joked as she took one of the cakes and took a bite.

"Why don't you try to enjoy the party? You and Katkat did a great job with it." Bernie pointed out, barely audible over the loud music and crowd of people. "Or is this about Jade?" she lowered her voice.

Arizona sighed as she nodded. Bernie was the only person who knew about her crush on Jade, even if she felt it was obvious.

"I've barely seen her all night." She said before both of them heard a familiar yelp and a fit of giggles coming from the karaoke room.

"I think we found her," Bernie smiled as she took Arizona by the wrist "Let's go, follow my lead," she said as Arizona barely found a place to set her cake down before getting dragged across the living room.

They both found Jade taking the microphone to take her turn looking through the list of songs. She picked a song and overheard Hana tell her that the song was actually a duet.

Before Jade could say anything, Bernie pushed Arizona toward the makeshift stage. "I'll sing it with you," Arizona said before she could run back out of the room.

"Oh, I was gonna sing both parts by myself. but we can sing it together!" Jade said, beaming. "As long as I take the part with more lines."

"Deal," Arizona said as she took the second microphone.

After they were finished singing, they watched a few others sing a girl group song as they waited for the final countdown. Arizona stole glances at Jade as they watched the other party-goers. Jade cheered as loud as she could to the other performers, and her enthusiasm felt contagious.

"Two more minutes to the new year!" They heard a voice call out from the doorway in between songs. Jade looked at her with her eyes beaming in excitement, "We should find a good spot to watch the fireworks."

Arizona followed the shorter girl sneak through the outside patio in the crowd of people. They were at the last minute of the countdown until the New Year as Jade led them to the front of the crowd.

30, 29, 28...

"I'm definitely getting taller this year, it has to work this time," Jade said as she looked at some others jumping as tall as they could.

Arizona raised an eyebrow to her “You say that every single year.”

“And this is the year it has to work!”

10, 9, 8…

“I have a feeling that this is going to be a great year, even if you stay the same height.” Arizona teased her.

“Oh yeah? Why do you think that?” Jade asked.

5, 4, 3…

in the last two seconds, an idea hit Arizona. Was it a great idea? Not really, but she had one last chance before the night was over.

2, 1…Happy New Year!

As she heard Jade start to screech, Arizona quickly pressed their lips together. She felt anxiety when Jade stiffened under her touch, but quickly melted into the kiss.

They heard the fireworks start as they pulled apart but kept each other close. Jade smiled at her, and Arizona felt like it was just them in the world.

“If that’s how you think I can get taller, I think we should try a bit more,” Jade smirked as she leaned in for another kiss.

#jarizona #rpdr fanfiction #drph2 #my writing #my drabbles

[boymage666]

I survived the

WIZARD RACE

Anyways I'm gonna talk about it now. no readmore because mobile tumblr is dumblr, sorry.

So, only slightly relevant to anything, but I did the entirety of the game during the school day. Started around 11:30, but I didn't find my first charm until about 12:45 (I had to go to an assembly then eat lunch)

Finding the charms was a pretty fun challenge, the only one I didn't get on my own was the heart (thanks for that one @wizardgoblin )

had to take another break after submitting the charms because I had to get back to school, by that time 3 people were already done. No big deal to me, all I wanted was top 13. So I do my work for that class and open Tumblr again to start phase 2.

This is a good point to say I love codes and cyphers, so I was very excited at the idea of the next part, only to metaphorically fall on my ass because I forgot that the actual question was on the main post about the game. Once I found that again I copied it onto a sheet of paper so I could write out the sounds as I figured them out. And so the teacher of my next class wouldn't flay and crucify and sous ve me for using my phone, but more so i could write my thoughts.

This bastard. (affectionate)

That symbol right there caused me the most trouble of everything, I thought for a moment I was going mad because I couldn't find anything like it in the sample text. But you know what? I think it's better that way. Made me think harder. I was kinda skipping around on words while translating, going for the easy words first then the words that I felt would be important. Decided I would hold off on this word and skipped back to the line above it to solve the big word up there. Catchphrase. And the last word was "Weekly". I realized then that this had to be "Wizard".

I'm glad that the "z" sound wasn't in the passage, it made me think harder about the puzzle, and that was fun in hindsight.

(please ignore the blatantly mistranslated word on the second row.)

Unfortunately I don't have timestamps for exactly when i entered the maze, but it was probably around 3:40, as I remember realizing school was about to be over, which meant I'd have to drive home before finishing if I didn't get through fast.

MAZE SPOILERS AHEAD. DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HAVE IT RUINED FOR YOU. DO READ IF YOU'RE STUCK AND WANT TO PLACE. IM NOT YOU MOM.

On the first page of the maze there were three options to choose where to go. I translated the first option, If I recall correctly it was scoundrel. Did not want to deal with that, the second option I couldn't translate immediately, so I skipped to the third option. Merchant. Sounds safe enough, I should go there.

So I did.

Reading the options, and knowing I was at a merchant, I decided to barter, and got an item. Cool. Sick even. So I move on.

[something] [STRENGTH] [STEALTH]

Decided to go stealth, and remembering how the merchant went, I choose the stealth option. Made it out with a cool gem. Encountered the dragon. Decided I didn't want to give up the candle and tried using the gem. Back to the start. Same path with the merchant, chose the option i didn't translate for the monster, and decided to try and charm it. Sandwich aquired. Not a good offering, back to the start. Merchant and gem? Close but no. Finally, I decided to try and fight the monster. It worked, and the item visually matched what I got from the merchant much more that the other items, sure enough, it was a good enough offering, and I got to move on.

Last part of the maze. 14 options, one was correct, spotted it immediately. Escaped at 3:57 pm ctz, day one of the race.

Honestly, I thought the game was fun! The maze was slightly easier than the cypher, for better or for worse, but that also could have been on me by refusing to try the other routes at the start of the maze. I can't wait to see what future events have waiting for us! Thanks for hosting this @wizardweekly

#wizard #wizardposting #wizard race #wizard weekly #longpost

[dancingkirby]

The Sim(p)s GX Part 5: Sex, Babies, and UTTER DISASTER

...Not necessarily in that order.

WARNING: The usual sex references.

Taniya and Misawa finally had the excuse they needed to move into their own house. Although they were a little short on funds by the time it was completed.

The Welcome Wagon included Fubuki, who stood there creepily staring at the bedroom door while Taniya was sleeping.

Misawa got really angry at them; it appears that his Sim has some anger management problems. But later, he and Taniya danced to pop music and had sex twice in one night.

And then, the big day arrived: Taniya went into labor at 12:40 PM on a Thursday in-game. And that's where everything started to go wrong. Misawa had to come home early from work, Taniya set the kitchen on fire while making lunch, and everyone was constantly low on hygeine, low on energy, and generally pissed off. Misawa was a lousy birth partner, spending most of his time watching TV, and Taniya got so tired that she fell asleep in the bathtub.

And THEN, to top it all off, Misawa jerked off in the living room while Taniya was in the bedroom. Okay, game, you and I have to sit down and talk. I can tolerate quite a bit of OOCness for comedy's sake, but that was going a little far, don't you think? Kind of makes me want to work on that fic idea I had where Taniya had their second baby and Misawa tries his best to be supportive, even if he is a bit clueless about how to do this at times. But I should really finish Act 2 of Volatile Elements first.

Anna was born at around 11:30 PM Friday, because I chose the base game "have baby" option instead of the proper one for a home birth. I HC that Taniya pulled a Rhaenyra and said, "Fuck this, I'm doing it myself." Which is about the same as happened in my fanfic, really. At least she had a happier result than Rhaenyra did.

Now that that mess was all over, I checked in quickly with Judai's Harem again.

Sho: "Mwahaha. Everyone else is asleep, so the computer's ALL MINE."

And most of the rest of my time in this part was spent at Casa Tenjoume, trying to repair Manjoume and Asuka's relationship. At first my efforts seemed futile; Asuka even took a vacation day off from work when she was ovulating, only for them to spend the whole day bickering rather than baby-making! However, they finally got back into the green after a very productive conversation featuring Neo.

And things quickly got back on track in other ways too.

Now THAT is the kind of dynamic from this pairing that I like to see!

On his day off from work, Manjoume took Neo to the park, where they met up with Uncle Fubuki.

Then I checked in again with Misawa and Taniya while waiting for Asuka to reach the fertile part of her cycle. Taniya was hanging out at the police station chatting with Yubel.

And Misawa went to work, played chess with Kenzan, and got angry. Again.

Upon my return to Casa Tenjoume, Manjoume and Asuka got horny again. After making sure that Neo was safely asleep in bed, a flirty conversation in the kitchen led to some hot and steamy sex on the countertop. And...a pregnancy test right after was positive! Asuka finally got her wish.

Tune in next time as Asuka and Manjoume have their baby and decide to take their relationship to the next level. Also, another relationship gets a very intriguing (and unexpected) twist.

#yugioh gx #the sims 4 #tigershipping #valentineshipping

[foxachu]

Was tagged by @wolfjackle! I'm always shy about tagging others though so you can definitely do this (and should!) if we're mutuals? Or regular followers too! I definitely recognize people in my notifications and adore you all :>

Tag 10 people you want to know better:

Relationship: Yeah! I have a long-distance and long-term relationship with one of my favorite people, and I've known them for over 10 years now. Love them to bits and I hope we can cross the distance soon (covid isn't helping, though). Online games and movie nights are a godsend for my little queer self tbh; I've never found anyone to date locally.

Favorite color: Blue, but specifically, a shade of teal. If I see it on clothing I'll gravitate towards it like a moth. It has to be on the bluer (not greener) hues; munsell and cerulean (not RGB version) are close.

Favorite food: I love very many foods but guacamole and katsudon are comfort foods lol. Mexican cuisine (Northern, I guess? the stuff that blends with Tex-Mex) is my fave and I'll always be down for some of that.

Song stuck in my head: Nothing currently, thank god. I'll get songs stuck in a feedback error loop and it's extremely annoying/sometimes near-physically painful. I guess currently I'm hearing the menu music for Tabletop Simulator? But I recently just finished up a Gloomhaven scenario in that. On Friday I was plagued by Electric Avenue for half the day.

Last thing I googled: "xcom build order" because I'm trying to actually finish the base game for once lmao. 20 hours of play across 7 years and I still haven't beaten it because I drop off halfway through. Started a new game today on baby mode just so I can attempt to see the ending and move on to XCOM 2.

Time: 7:59 PM, but due to time zones I'll probably schedule this for later.

Dream Trip: Peru and Chile! I want to see traditional fiber arts and pet alpacas and go to penguin island. Domestic (Japan): probably Tohoku? Like around Aomori. It's less humid up there and it has nice, thick-woods' vibes. Domestic (US): my aunt and her wife live in an incredibly scenic part of New Mexico and I would love to go stargazing (and also visit with the only other queer people I know of in my family).

Again, no tagging because I'll feel like an imposition, but if you're reading this, consider yourself tagged! >:3

#ask memes #personal

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary157

2/18-19/2024

sunday - monday

ate popcorn and feel kind of sick.

otherwise though, feeling good. working on the 2nd of the 2 problem songs rn, it's def getting there.

and now i think it's there. the other also feels 'there' even if it's just roughly.

i also just finished the gut thing i started last night, very cool.

the next one is gonna be kind of a doozy, i think, as well, so tomorrow i'll probably spend a long time on that, and then the next day, i have a monster, maybe i can drink that and do a bunch of something. i kind of hope i can put that energy to writing though.

also it is late and i kept saying i had to work in the morning tomorrow but that changed, it's now 6 pm to 9pm, which is better for me in every way, basically. it'll give me more time to do music before work and also keep the workout routine up w/o having to insert a weird rest day into it.

the 2nd trouble song, i feel like i want the guitars to have a little more high end, i'll try that now but i just wonder if that's part of what the saturating is doing..

it's an easy test/fix so it's nbd.

and yayy it sounds good.

and hopefully soon i can get my card situation squared away so i can order clothes from japan and then take a bunch of annoying + vain selfies in clothes that make me feel cute and not ugly or something.

speaking of clothes, i have this rlly tiny cardigan i love because it goes w/ everything as a nice layer when i can't figure anything else out, it's like a perfect piece of clothing, idk where it is, making me very very upset kind of. hopefully that turns up soon.

i think my hair will stop wigging me after like, one more day probably. i don't know why my bangs can give me such dysphoria lol it's dumb. i'm just so used to them being like, i guess the thing that makes me feel like i 'pass' i guess. idk. i don't know if that's true or not. i don't think so. it's not like they're gone, i've done this before, even, in the lifespan of the blog, and like, worse, even, for instance look at me when i gave myself this hair:

those are like, psychotic bangs, i'm not there rn, looking thru my selfies there's another pic of me w/ bangs that are kind of like where i'm at rn:

it's funny, in that one i took the selfie while my phone was super messed up so it died whenever it wasn't plugged in, and i was so like, dysphoric or whatever, idk what to call this even, saying it's 'dysphoria' seems not entirely accurate or whatever, but when i felt hideous and needed to capture like, myself not being ugly, i had to plug my phone in, in the bathroom, to do that. that's so embarrassing huh.

anyway, this whole stupid issue is making me look up how to blowdry bangs, which is something i do already, everyday, and know how to do basically, but i guess i'm just trying to get better so i don't make myself go coo coo every time i want to 'fix' my hair.

anyway look at me in akasaka, this was a fun time:

i remember, they had a bunch of harry potter stuff up here, cuz it's so big in japan, and we'd see people come up and look and get really excited, take pictures with it, it was very sweet, honestly, i'm glad that's a primary thing my mind goes to, thinking of harry potter, over anything else, it just pays to not be very invested in it.

i did another gut drawing thing, but it's sort of a practice run for another idea i guess, cuz i don't like the novel part of it, i wanna draw intestines getting cut, and the sinew holding / almost snapping, and stuff. that bit is harder to get right w/ pixels but i think tomorrow i could.

also, since i got paid, i have started looking at some other stupid things, like a digicam. thinking about getting a sony cybershot 8.1 megapixels (i think) (or 7.2), there's one for 30 bux on ebay rn (same w/ the 7.2 mp variant), seems cute and fun. might give me some cool options w/ photography stuff.

n - e wayzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, i need to sleep, it is 3:43 am and i do want to fix my sleep schedule at some point, it'd be good for me.

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[therealmerbirb]

I Hate Stress Balls Now (Life Overhaul Blog part 4 of 52)

I couldn't think of anything good to title this thing so I just titled it something to do with something that happened last night. I'll go over that highlight later in the post. For now, onto the past week's highlights

Belly Dancing

Out of everything I listed, this was by far the thing that got the best traction. I found a playlist with dozens of short 2-3 minute tutorial videos on basic steps and have been spending 20-30 minutes a day picking my way through them, looping them for a few plays and trying alongside the instructor as best I can. I also found a trans pride hip scarf that a friend knitted for me a few years back and it's perfect for practicing some of the moves! (I had forgotten about it because I'd intended for it to be a neck scarf, but the finished product didn't work as one so I put it aside). Hopefully I'll have more to share about this in the coming weeks.

Voice Feminization

I didn't actually get around to finding any tutorials on this, but I remembered a few tips from ones I'd watched in the past and used those to practice at work while doing the dishes. I don't think it's doing me any gender favors as it is right now, but it will get better with time.

Woodworking

As part of my remodel, I decided I wanted some new furniture. Namely a few shelves to put things on for safekeeping, and a coatrack so I can stop piling my coats and jackets on the floor of my room every night. In order to do this, I decided to take up woodworking as a small hobby, and once I can get my hands on some wood to actually use I plan to start building some equipment to use. This, unfortunately, is difficult to find: I can't find any scrap wood on the side of the road in the form of furniture or construction materials because of the snow that either buries it or discourages people from setting it out to begin with, so unless I can find a more specific supplier from a friend or hardware store this idea is likely dead on arrival until things warm up. I will of course be sharing anything I make when the time comes!

The Stress Ball Incident

Here's the thing that happened last night, as promised. Last night, while I was doing breathhold training, the gel stress ball I was using broke and spilled (I normally don't use those at all because the idea of them breaking terrifies me for this very reason, but last night I couldn't find the dough ball I normally use). It got all over my bed and managed to soak all the way through, and even got on my pajama pants and pillows, meaning I had to strip everything down and throw it in the laundry after mopping up the heavy with whatever paper towels I could find in my apartment while blundering around at 11 PM. Moral of the story: don't use gel stress balls. EVER.

YouTube

I unfortunately did not get around to actually recording any scripts. I'll blame this on my attempts to remodel my recording setup that didn't go very well (I got everything secured, only for it to all collapse while I was at work, and I still have yet to put it back up again). I attempted to record some gameplay for Royal Dynasty, but OBS was uncooperative and the recording came out very laggy, so I'll have to find a fix for that as well.

Next Week

Since the past couple weeks have been fairly unfruitful in terms of things actually accomplished, the coming week will be focused on actually completing the things that have been started already. Should have more to share by then, and hopefully will be able to check some things off the list. But the year's still young, so I'm still patient on everything.

See ya!

#life overhaul blog #life improvement #new years resolution

[casual-owl]

Day 1

So today started out pretty poorly. I woke up with a plan: I was going to clean my room, shower, do all of the homework I could, and that's basically it. Probably also read a book that I keep trying and failing to finish.

As of me writing this part of the post it's 2:20 PM and the only thing I've done is shower. To be fair, it's better than nothing. On the other hand, it would've been completely realistic for me to be done with most of the other tasks as well by now.

It kind of feels like my brain and my body are two separate entities. Not like how when I disassociate, which is more like my brain is a passenger in my body. This ADHD paralysis is more like my brain is desperately begging my body to go do my tasks, but my body has noise-cancelling headphones on.

Getting out of this paralysis is a method of trial and error. My first attempt shall be listening to music and dividing up cleaning into predetermined steps. For anyone needing similar help, here are my steps:

- Make the bed (messy beds for me always seem to take up the most visual space and make cleaning seem much more daunting than it really is)

- Pick up near the desk area (the clutter near my desk makes walking around my room really difficult and annoying, which then makes the cleaning process more effort)

- Sort clothes into clean and not clean (a lot of my clothes on the floor weren't even worn, I just tried them on and left them there instead of putting them back, so the two individual piles will look like two smaller tasks instead of one huge task)

- Put away clean clothes (this is more difficult than throwing the dirty clothes in the laundry basket in my opinion so it goes first)

- Put away dirty clothes (duh)

- Gather all small things where they belong (this is just a mess of skincare and makeup that will take just a few minutes to clean up and will feel more like a "finishing touch" than a task I hope)

I added the reasoning for each step because maybe you have a bit of a different set of cleaning tasks but can apply a similar logic, making the process of creating a step list easier! (Or at least I hope it will!!)

---

Finally, just under two hours later, my room is clean! I took my meds earlier which really was a game changer, and so was making the step-by-step plan.

Now my options are between making lunch and doing my homework.

I think I'll do homework first, because lunch would require me to leave my room and therefore it feels like a much more drastic task transition. Not fighting my brain right now is the most frictionless path to task completion.

Plus, after I finish homework there's nothing stopping me from watching YouTube on my laptop without guilt, while if I did lunch and YouTube before homework I'm just all the more likely to get stuck in paralysis like I was this morning.

Task steps for homework:

- First do my literature homework (it's the least difficult part of my homework, which makes the task transition easier)

- Then math homework (it's not difficult but it is tedious, and in my opinion long and tedious is worse than short and challenging)

- Put away homework supplies (storage is in desk and backpack, which are both accessible without having to even leave the desk, which makes the task as easy as possible)

Okay, we just did the worst task (in my opinion), and we've got momentum going. I'm hoping to be done by 5:30 PM (it is now 4:13). But of course, we shall see.

---

Guess who finished before my goal time?? Me!! That's who!! Finished ten minutes before my goal, and as I'm writing this I'm warming up a frozen pre-made meal for a late lunch/early dinner. (Woo love having fewer steps for stuff!)

I found a new show to watch, I've got one of my favorite foods cooking (and it smells good), and my tasks for today are done!

I'll probably try to read a chapter of the book I mentioned in the beginning before bed :)

---

What we learned today

1. Minimize task shifts (make changes between tasks as minimally drastic as possible)

2. Break up big tasks into a series of steps before beginning the task (this is to minimize the mental effort of deciding what to do first, I believe that's called decision fatigue?)

3. Have something to look forward to as a reward after tasks (this could be starting a new show, doing your nails, anything that would make you happy)

---

Reflections for the day

Grateful for: warm showers, easily accessible food, support from others

Proud of: Finishing my tasks before my goal time

Feeling right now: satisfied and a little tired

Goals for tomorrow: to go over chem lecture slides with a friend, meal prep for the week, and recharge before Monday

---

Thank you for reading this far, I'm still exploring how I plan on formatting these posts but I think I'll definitely keep the reflection portions as they are now. In regards to the "going through my day" I think that part will vary depending on the day I'm having and what I find most important to discuss at that time.

#mental health #adhd #productivity tips #adhd productivity #executive dysfunction #emotional health #introspection #reflection #journal blog #journal

[pheemuru]

I want to get a little personal for a sec

Below the cut I'm going to talk about my struggle with art, energy, time management, and trying to be an artist in the current social media climate while having a full time job in an unrelated field

In august 2023, i moved out of my parents home for the first time--I moved out of state and got a full time job. this is a good thing and a super positive life event for me! I'm now living with my partner of nearly 7 years and my best friend of 5.

However my relationship with art since before I even moved out... has been really rocky. My job now occupies my time for 6 hours a day 5 days a week. I work from 6:45 am - 10 am (im including travel time here because its still my time thats occupied by work...) and then I have a break until 2 pm. Then I work 2 - 6 pm, and depending on where I'm working at, I get home anywhere from 6-7 pm. I go to bed at 11 pm (This is a very big struggle mentally for me since my jobs schedule is very much opposite of how my body functions. I'm a night owl and not at all an early bird.) This is my monday thru friday.

By the time the weekend comes, I have other household chores to keep up with before I feel like I'm "allowed" to waste my time basically. I also use my time just... recovering for the next week. Every night I get home from work I take a couple edibles to wind down and relax, which is possibly the best part of my day when I finally get to turn my brain off from having to mask and wrangle 30 something kids throughout the day. (daycare aide moment)

How this relates to my art is that I really have zero drive to do any kind of art. I have no ideas. I see stuff online and think "wow I want to do that, I wish I thought of it". Creativity doesn't come naturally to me if it isn't the result of a college assignment or a commission. I struggle a LOT with concepting and sketching. I genuinely don't know how to doodle anymore either

In 2024 I want to focus a lot more on what's going to make me feel satisfied in a career, and so far the only option I have for that is making art my full time gig. However, anyone that is trying that or has tried that knows how difficult that is and how unrealistic it is to just be able to do that with no build up.

Here's where my struggle comes in; I have no fucking energy for anything anymore. I got diagnosed with adhd and autism last year, or just about last year. My job is insanely socially heavy (I'm around 30+ kids and have to manage them) so by the time that I get home, I just want to get stoned and watch movies. I don't want to create. I don't want to do anything. not even shit i like to do.

drawing has become so fucking hard for me. it takes me so goddamn long to finish a piece, I get overwhelmed by current trends, and it doesnt help that the fact of the matter is, social media has moved onto video formats. This means I will have to keep up with video trends to get any kind of eyes on my work. But how do you keep up with video trends when you don't even have any art to show to begin with, nonetheless ones that fit with the theme of the trends going around?

So now I need to make supplementary/filler recordings to fill out content if I want to be serious about my social media presence. On top of the fact I actually have to create art. On top of the fact that there's dishes in my sink every day and laundry that has to be done every week and groceries that have to be shopped for and a job that has to be attended to five days a week. I know 30 hours a week truly is not as much as others work to be full time but my god is it exhausting? All this shit on top of itself makes me feel like I regret moving out a little bit. Overall I don't, because I don't have to live with my parents and I can relax around my partner, but like. oh my god?

literally how does anyone live like this and not want to kill themselves. I had to get a zoloft script because i kept having mental breakdowns every sunday because I have to go back to fucking work and I never feel like I have enough time to do anything meaningful. by the time my brain is like, "ready" to work, its 9 pm and i have to get ready for bed in 2 hours.

I've contemplated getting my masters in teaching to be an art teacher, but I really wouldn't.. want to do that for the rest of my life? you don't really get days off if you need it, youre obligated to work outside of work hours just to get anything done, parents right now kind of suck, school admins also suck, curriculums are cutting art programs, and kids are also becoming so much more disengaged with art at younger ages.

with the state of everything I find it really hard not to just spiral into a depressive episode. I don't know what my future holds. Sure, I have my parents as a safety net now, but theyre approaching their 70s and arent going to be around for the majority of the rest of my life. what happens then? what happens when theyre gone and i have literally no other support beyond the little life i made for myself right now? i already feel like im not allowed to prioritize myself at the moment given my position in the household (full time consistent job that pays somewhat decent ((Decent being $16.75/hour lol)) for the area im in, im the one that can drive, im the one with the largest paycheck and most consistent hours). I can't really get days off at work if I wake up having a panic attack or even physical sickness. I'm supposed to just deal with it and clock in because we dont have enough people to cover last minute like that. And I'm someone with (honestly) debilitating stomach issues. I had to have an upper endoscopy and tests done which only yield so much if you don't follow up with an allergist, which I still have yet to do...

Currently I'm supposed to set up appointments for my dentist, an allergist, a cardiologist, and I need to contact my psych because my pharmacy told me my zoloft cant be refilled (second month on it btw lol).

so like. when the fuck am i supposed to have any kind of every to dedicate to a second part time job, my own fucking art business? the thing i want to be the most passionate about, i have no energy left for. I feel so wildly unsatisfied in my life right now because of this. I'm struggling. I'm struggling a lot and I wish i didn't have to work at all. I wish I could just have my art be my full time thing, but I dont have the audience nor the social media prowess to make that happen so quickly.

I'm tired. I'm fucking tired. everyone keeps saying "take care of yourself" or "self care" but jesus christ how am i supposed to when i cant even just work 4 days a week consistently because for whatever reason I'm the only person at my job that can do what i do? how am i supposed to practice self care when that self care would mean i quit my fucking job lol. i'm at such a loss and i feel like im just letting the time pass by like grains of sand in an hourglass. being torn between wanting to die and wanting to push through is a fucking insane feeling. all we do in life is struggle until we die and I'm finding it harder and harder to get over that kind of mental hurdle. every time i drive i have to fight the genuine intrusive thoughts of yanking the steering wheel to put myself in a ditch with my car just to give myself a couple weeks of a break.

I'm tired. And there's nothing i can do about it. how long can one weather a storm before getting lost at sea

#vent post #anyone else. anyone else at all #burnout #like i dont even know how to job hunt anymore #everything on linkedin is either shitty or not real #same with indeed #how does anyone find a work from home job like seriously #all i want is some stupid wfh job #i want a job behind the scenes. i dont want to talk to people all day #i have zero applicable skills for any modern job

[little-yla]

: : the right person ☆

————————————————————————

genre: fluff

warnings: nothing exc for a bit of cursing

word count: 963

a/n: my first time writing so please dont judge😭😭💔 if u liked this story, feel free to request more!! 🫂🫂 ( jeonghan is such a green flag )

this is part 1, part 2 is coming soon

You were paired up with Jeonghan for a math project, you didn't know much about him except for the fact that he was popular amongst the girls in school. He showed absolutely no interest in the girls, they thought he was into men because of that reason. Despite being absolutely gorgeous, you had no interest in him. You never saw what he had, you thought he was just a regular boy. Not until you were paired up together. That feeling ended quickly as soon as you interacted with him more. You finally understood everyone, but you had to clear your mind.

"Y/n, pair up with Jeonghan." your teacher says. You gasp as you saw your classmates glancing at you, they looked like they were about to chase you like a dog. You slowly walk to his table to have a chat about the project, being scared because of all the stares but you then get to his table. "You scared, huh?" Jeonghan asked, he could tell by your awkward face. You answered, "Well, you could say that, I guess." while giggling a little. He laughed at you, but he understood why. He gave you his number to ask for help, even for things other than the project.

You both discuss the project, and you catch yourself smiling the whole time while chatting with him. Were you developing feelings for him? But then the bell rings, it is time for you to go home. As soon as you got home, you had the urge to text him, but you noticed that he had texted you first.

jeonghan: hey, do u wanna meet up at the cafe near the town's library tmr?? so we can work and have little chats, it was fun

y/n: oh yeah suree, what time?

jeonghan: does 2pm sound good 2 u?

y/n: yep

jeonghan: alright c u tmr <33

Did he just give you a heart? Your heart was pounding so fast texting him, you figured it was because he was the first ever boy from school you texted. Well, you were wrong about that.

The next day, you woke up at 11:24 am. Your alarm was ringing so loud, but you quickly woke up as you remembered about the important meet-up. You greeted your cat, Toro, and got some milk from the fridge. You had some breakfast and took a shower, thinking about him every single second. Opening the closet was a bad choice, you did not think about what outfit you would wear, and you panicked so hard. It was 12:48 pm, you had 1 hour and 12 more minutes left, you couldn't possibly finish that fast. You chose to wear a cute dress with the cardigan your mom bought, and did your makeup a little faster than usual.

You drove to the cafe and saw him waiting for you, he waved as you saw him. "When did you arrive?" you asked, he had arrived at 1:30 pm. You apologized for being a little late. He replied, "It's fine, I wouldn't mind waiting longer for you." He surely was a sweetheart, a literal woman's dream. After discussing the project and finishing it, you guys decided to spend more time together. Were you really hanging out with the most popular boy?

You went to play games with him and found out he also played Valorant. He was happy he could find someone with the same interests as him. You found out he liked Bossa Nova and never dated once. "If you never dated anyone, then why don't you try dating someone that likes you?" you asked. He replied, "Well I'm waiting to find the right person for me, someone that likes me for me, not my looks." That got you interested in him, you wanted to find out more about him. After a long time of hanging out, you both went home.

jeonghan: heyy, i had fun w u today :)) lets hang out more

y/n: I AGREEEE, we should also vc and play valorant if u can

jeonghan: agreed, wanna hang out after school next week?

y/n: tuesday?

jeonghan: tuesday.

Wow, was he trying to test you? You had bad experiences with boys before meeting him, and you were hoping he wasn't like them. All I can say is that, I like him. You caught feelings for him, shocking. You had the urge to text him and call him. It felt too risky, you didn't want to seem obsessed. And again, he likes someone who likes him for him, not someone who craves looks.

A notification pops up, who is it from?

jeonghan: hey, wanna vc?? sorry if im asking u so late at night :(

y/n: nahh nw, lets call?

jeonghan: YAY

Your ringtone starts playing, seeing his name on the phone made your heart beat 10 times faster. Why was it easier to talk to him in real life? I can't even talk to him over the phone. You picked up the phone and heard his deep voice. "Sorry about my voice, I'm really tired right now." Jeonghan claimed. You replied, "Then why did you want to call me? You should go rest." He didn't want to rest, he wanted to call you and hear your voice.

You spent a few hours talking to eachother and playing games, hearing him curse for the first time. "Ohh, we're fucked. WAIT, I'M SORRY," Jeonghan panics, "You didn't hear that." You didn't mind, you revealed that you also cursed a lot. He was relieved, I'm guessing he has a curse buddy. Afterwards, you both decided to stop video calling and texted eachother instead.

jeonghan: thank u for today☹️☹️ i enjoyed it a lot

y/n: heyy dont worry ab it, u made today fun 😆☝

jeonghan: lets do this more, i dont need to stop my cursing for once

y/n: YKW ME TOO, everyone around me js hates the idea of cursing

jeonghan: well i get why, anyway see uuuu tmrr. sleep well and goodnight

y/n: gooodd night <33

#svt fluff #svt #jeonghan #jeonghan fluff #seventeen #yoon jeonghan #yoon jeonghan x reader #jeonghan x reader #yoon jeonghan x you #jeonghan x you #jeonghan imagines #jeonghan x y/n

[fenimores-book-nook]

Self care writing: Day 9 :)

Nov. 27 - 2023, Monday 4:50 pm

Goooooood late afternoon! I think it's a perfect time to start my writing for today. I feel like I've accomplished quite a bit today, so yay!

Morning:

I started out my day with some reading in bed. After getting up and getting dressed, I did some journaling and just reflecting until I had to leave for an appointment. (which went smoothly, yay!)

Afternoon:

After my appointment, I stayed in town and grabbed an iced White Chocolate and Toasted Marshmallow latte from a local coffee shop. ;) Then, I went to the store to get lunch and scope out some books I wanted. (sadly, I didn't get any today) After the store, I headed to the library and spent a good amount of time there! I got three graphic novels: Pumpkin Heads by Rainbow Rowell, Cafe Kichijouji by Yuki Miyamoto and illustrated by Kyoko Negishi, and Unfamiliar by Haley Newsome. Sure, I'm already reading like four other books, but it's fine. Graphic novels are a good break in between them. :) Plus, I've been wanting to try Manga, so I thought I might like Cafe Kichijoui, the overview of it sounded cute.

Later in the day, not quite evening but evening:

Since I came home from the library, I did some house chores, finished writing a card and putting together the secret santa gift I'm doing with my siblings, was going through other Christmas gifts I need to get for people, and now this. :)

So, I've felt that it has been a productive day, and a pretty good one too. Tonight at 7 I have community choir practice but other than that, I can chill. I might do some reading or more journaling, we'll see. ;)

Here's a random photo of Lucy Gray from The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes. :) (greatest movie) Speaking of The Hunger Games, I just finished re-watching those works of art last night and was close to restarting them all over again. But instead I started re-watching Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves. Which is also a very good and funny movie.

~

Flash forward a few hours, it is 10:27 pm currently. I recently got back from choir practice tonight where a close friend and I talked for a while afterwards. Practice was alright, I think I'm ready for the concert to come and be over, though. But it has been fun to do it with close friends and have my old choir director again. :)

Earlier tonight, I finally got some NaNoWriMo writing done! I hadn't worked on my novel for quite some time because I think I just needed a break from it and I was more focused on this kind of writing or journaling. But I got some done and I'm proud of it!

(I need to find a fresh one of these but this'll do for tonight!)

3 things I'm grateful for ~ 1) People who choose to be kind to strangers. 2) The ability to change my perspective on certain things. 3) For today, it was a good day.

Something incredible ~ When I went to the store and was looking in the books section, there were two other people in the same aisle that I didn't know. One of them asked, "Have either of you read Colleen Hoover?" The other person said yes and I said no. (I should try at least one of her books) And even though I wasn't really a part of the conversation from that point on, it was lovely to see two complete strangers just talking about books. There was this energy that felt like we were all there because we really loved books. And I just love that. :)

Something I learned ~ Even if I don't think of it at first, really, anything can be made into a goal. And it doesn't matter how big or small it is, if it's important to you, if it helps your mental health, and help you achieve what you want in your life, it's an important goal.

My feelings about my goals ~ I guess I don't necessarily have goals right now. Or at least, more simple goals. I have goals that'll take a longer amount of my life to achieve but the smaller ones that relate more to now...I suppose I could include my reading. ;) I am feeling..many things with that goal. I still have a long ways to go with Iron Flame and the book club book I have, we meet tomorrow and I am not even halfway. Which will be fine, I'll just get spoilers. I am proud of myself for consistently reading A Merry Little Meet Cute, though. It's a perfect read for me right now; I'm very much in the Christmassy romcom mood. :) I could also include my writing as a goal! I am feeling good about that one. I got novel writing done today--whoop whoop!!--I've been journaling pretty consistently, and I've been keeping up with my self care writing!

How do I want to wake up/show up tomorrow ~ I want to be ready for the day, for work, just in a good mood during the day and keep the momentum after work. :) And be excited for my first book club meeting, and attentive because I may be running one of my own at some point. ;)

I asked my sister on face time what a good ending was and she said:

~ *The End* ~

So, until next time, ;)

Thalia <3

#self care writing series #journaling #blog #day nine #my day #nanowrimo #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #books