#also I’m sure someone has said this before | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hanni-bae44 · 2 days

Text

Title: The Dare (Jeno)

Pairing- Jeno x fem!reader

Genre- american high school football au; angst, fluff (warnings: teenage drama, cursing, alcohol, kissing, a little suggestive if you squint, a fight scene)

Word Count- 12.9k

Summary- It was only supposed to be a dare for Jeno and the team. Although breaking your heart was part of the plan, falling in love with you was not.

A/N- In hindsight, Jeno's dare is kind of dumb, but I love it lol. I also don't think I've ever rewritten a fic this much. Although I like this story, I’m sick of editing it so please excuse any mistakes if you see any and lmk :)

“Okay, everybody listen up,” Johnny hollered, as all the varsity players gathered in the locker rooms. He was the quarterback due to his determination and speed. He was fast on his feet, vigilant, accurate, and physically strong. He even got into varsity as a freshman and through his own hard work, he was able to get early D1 offers. As a result, he was also the one in charge of this two decade long tradition. “As always, it’s a new school year, everyone must master a task from this bucket of dares. Some might call it an annual initiation. Are you all up for it?”

Everyone cheered.

The team had just finished practice and the coach had left, meaning they had the locker rooms to themselves. It had been several weeks back from summer and everyone was determined to make this their year.

“Alright, let's wrap it up,” Johnny yelled, urging everyone to silence. “The rules are simple. Pull out a folded paper from this bucket of dares. Whatever it says, you must do, no exceptions. This is the principle in which all will follow. Everyone understood?”

They all roared.

Johnny went around one by one and made sure everyone had their note and read it to the whole team. He had a freshman from JV hold a clipboard and write down all of everyone’s dares.

“Everyone got a task?” Johnny yelled one last time before he made his way to the front. He waited until everyone said yes then pulled out the last paper for himself.

“Alright, let's see what fate has in the cards for me,” Johnny showed the folded paper to his teammates first and they all groaned in disappointment since the captain had such an easy dare.

“Great, I have to fill coach’s office with post-it notes.” Johnny rubbed at his temples. Coach was going to kill him. “Remember, you guys have until a week after our first game to complete this. I encourage all of you to be honest and keep your teammates on track. You will need at least one witness and a report of proof. You don’t want to know what happens if you are caught cheating . Alright, you all can go.”

Jeno stared blankly at his card when he left the locker rooms. Just how the heck was he supposed to break someone’s heart?

“You alright, dude?” His teammate— Haechan— asked him.

“Yeah, I just don’t know how I’m going to break someone’s heart, let alone whose heart to break.”

Haechan started to look around and pointed towards a group of people who were coming out of the auditorium. “How about that girl holding the instrument case? I’ve known her since middle school and she’s smart. She tutors at the media center every year after school. Ask her to tutor you for something, she volunteers there every Tuesday and Thursday.”

“Who are you staring at dude?” Jaemin asked as he patted Jeno’s back, joining in on the conversation.

“Y/N. He’s considering her for the dare.” Haechan snickered. “These dares are getting more unhinged by the year.”

“Tell me about it,” Jaemin groaned, staring down at his own fate. “How the fuck am I supposed to fill the pool with food coloring? I’ll get a month of detention or something.” The boy rubbed at his temples.

“Be thankful you don’t have to steal an item from the principal’s office. I’ll really get suspended for that shit.” Haechan said.

“You’ll be fine dude, just don’t get caught.” Jeno assured him. “It’s me that has the issue. Just how am I going to break her heart? It’s cruel to make her like me then break her heart, don’t you guys think?”

“You got soft dude?” Jaemin raised a brow.

“Since when did you care about other people’s feelings?” Haechan asked. “Just ask her to tutor you. Make her fall for you then break her heart. We’ll be the witness, just tell us when you do so,” Haechan grinned and Jaemin agreed, encouraging Jeno to follow through with the dare.

Jeno thought over what his teammates said.

They were onto something. This tradition of dares was going to burn them one day but was it so evil? Heartbreak was normal was it not? This dare was just for fun among the guys. And Jeno was always down for a challenge. He wasn’t about to back down now. Not when this was his last year to prove to everyone that he was worthy of his position on the team.

You were setting up the tutoring stations in the media center all by yourself again. The dismissal bell rang not too long ago but it seemed as if you were the only person that ever took this tutoring thing seriously. Everyone else just took their sweet time. And to make things worse, the copy machines weren’t working. You had just finished reporting the issue to the librarian when you turned around, nearly having a heart attack at the boy who seemingly appeared out of thin air.

Your hand flew to your chest to calm your racing heart while the boy grinned. “You scared me,” you grumbled.

“A juice for you?” the boy offered with a brow raised, tossing his juice pouch in the air.

You glanced down at his hand which held the apple juice in a bag the school gave out during breakfast. “You’re kidding me right? What? Had the juice been in your pocket all day or something? The trash can is over there.” You pointed out.

“You caught me,” the boy admitted with a smirk, shoving the juice back into his pocket. “So you tutor here often? What do you teach?”

You took a better look at him and noticed how he sported a football jersey. Just great, probably another air-headed jock who needed help passing because they slacked off in class. You sighed. “The school year just began but I guess you could say I tutor often. I tutor algebra, geometry, calculus, anything math related.”

“Oh, so you like solving problems?” the boy asked as he followed you from desk to desk as you finished setting up the stations.

“I guess you could say that.”

“Do you tutor world history?”

“Honestly if you need a tutor for something like world history, you just need to pay attention in class,” you deadpanned. “But if you really need help understanding, I think it’s Taeil who tutors in the history department. He hasn’t arrived yet but you could wait for him in the front. I’ll sign you in, come on.”

The boy followed you to the front desk.

“What’s your name?”

“Jeno.”

“Alright Jeno, you’re signed in. Tutoring starts in 5 minutes, you can wait here.”

“Wait. Can you tutor me for calculus instead?”

You raised a brow. “Don’t you need help understanding world history?”

“Nope. I’m good with history. I was just asking for a friend earlier,” Jeno insisted. His face had you doubtful but you didn’t care enough to press on it.

“Okay, you can just wait here then. I have to finish setting up.”

“One problem, I’m on the football team and I have practice in a few minutes, could you tutor me after practice?”

You refrained from rolling your eyes. Just who did he think he was? “Look football guy, I have a life too, you know.”

“Of course, but could you just make an exception? I can also meet you during lunch hour. Or any time that fits your schedule. Please? I can’t fail calculus, you know it’s a graduation requirement.” He flashed a tender smile. One that was almost too desperate.

“What’s in it for me?” You folded your arms. It wouldn’t hurt to entertain him while you waited for tutoring to start.

Jeno heaved a sigh before glancing around the media center to look for something, anything, to offer. His eyes must’ve scanned through a hundred things before they landed on your school bag near the desk with a Guitars for Dummies book sticking out.

“Are you learning guitar?” he prompted.

You narrowed your eyes, staring back at him like he was a stalker. “Yeah… How did you know?”

“The Guitar for Dummies book is sticking out of your bag,” Jeno pointed out. “I can teach you. I used to take classes as a kid and I’m still good at it now.”

“And what makes you think I can’t just get help from someone else?”

“Aye, come on. Trust me, I’m good at guitar. We both need something from each other so let's make a deal. You tutor me in calculus and I teach you guitar. If I can’t keep my promise, I’ll give you money for lessons. Sounds good?”

You thought it over as you stared back at the desperate jock. “Fine,” you grumbled. “Meet me in the auditorium tomorrow during lunch. Get your food, then meet me there but don’t be so late.”

“Of course, I’ll see you tomorrow then,” Jeno beamed before scurrying off to practice.

The next day, the football guy was entering the auditorium right on the bell with his food tray in one hand.

At least he was punctual, you thought.

“What’s up?” Jeno greeted, raising his hand to do a bro handshake.

“What’s up yourself,” you sighed, ignoring his hand. “We have one hour for lunch, let's just get started.”

“So why did you want to meet in the auditorium?” he asked as he got settled down. “Couldn’t we just do this in the cafeteria or the media center where there’s an actual desk?”

“The cafeteria is too loud while the media center requires a lunch pass which I’m assuming you don’t have. The librarian is strict on passes.”

“Do you go here everyday?”

“No. I’m usually in the media center. Now let’s begin, this small talk is cutting into your learning time. Show me your calculus notes and worksheets. Tell me what you understand and don’t. We’ll start from there.”

For the next week, you met Jeno everyday at lunch in the auditorium. Tutoring him turned out to be better than you expected. He was punctual and actually a pretty decent listener, catching onto the material faster than the usual jock would. You’d also get to know him a bit better and realize that he’s not the stuck up airhead you thought him out to be.

As for his end of the deal, you gave him your address so he could come over on the weekend to teach you guitar. He brought his little sister Minji along too but you didn't mind. You loved kids and you also had a little brother that she could play with. So while they played Minecraft together at the dining table, Jeno taught you guitar on the living room sofa.

“So why are you learning guitar anyway?” Jeno asked, having just gotten back from giving Minji a snack. You were both in the living room and he had just finished teasing you for renting a Guitar for Dummies book too.

“My dad used to love guitar but he died last year,” you started, “I was cleaning the basement a few weeks ago and found his guitar. I guess I just wanted to learn it as a way to be closer to him.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Jeno didn’t know what else to say. All he could do was look at you and pray that you wouldn’t start crying.

“It’s fine.” You sat up straight and held the guitar closer to your body. “So how do you play the E minor chord again? It keeps ringing out wrong.”

“The guitar isn’t tuned.” Jeno grabbed the guitar from you and tuned it by ear. “You were holding the guitar wrong too.” He helped you position the guitar correctly. “Now for the E minor. Second finger on the second fret, fifth string. Third finger on the second fret, fourth string. Let’s get you used to strumming first. You don’t have any callouses yet so your fingertips will hurt.”

The sun was setting and you figured that was enough guitar for the day. Jeno had been monitoring you attentively as you switched between some easy chords and strumming. You barely got anywhere today and yet your fingertips began to hurt exactly like how Jeno said it would. Who knew playing such a beautiful instrument would be so painful?

“It’s getting late but thanks for helping me.” You stood up and placed the guitar aside.

“No problem. You weren’t that bad to teach.”

You rolled your eyes before walking to the kitchen to grab some fresh tomatoes and basil to make a sauce. “I’m gonna make my brother and I some pasta, do you and your sister want any?”

Jeno looked at the clock then nodded. It wasn’t like there was food at home anyway. “Yeah, sure.” He then walked to the kitchen to stand near his sister and glanced around. His eyes landed on the big instrument case you carried around the first time he saw you. And It was open. “So you play trumpet?”

“Yup, I have both band class and marching band. Some games are coming up and I haven’t played since last school year so I’m a bit rusty.”

He nodded.

While boiling the pasta, you made the sauce and occasionally glanced at the dining table where Jeno played Minecraft with Minji and Niki. You couldn’t help but admire how wholesome and cute the whole thing was. You’ve never really liked jocks but after getting to actually know him more, you realized that he wasn’t so bad.

After dinner, Jeno offered to wash the dishes. “I’ll help you,” he had insisted and made his way towards you near the sink. His body was pressed against yours and his hand was on your waist to grab a nearby dishwashing glove. “You already cooked my sister and I dinner, it's the least I could do.” He smiled.

“I guess that’s fair,” you said while looking at him. His gaze was so intense, it made you nervous. “I’ll just hang with Minji and Niki then.”

The next week was the same. You would tutor him during your lunch period, but only this time he would bring you a cookie from the cafeteria, insisting it was a thank you for helping him pass his first test.

“I don’t see how you even have energy when you always skip lunch,” Jeno said as he pulled out the retractable seats in the auditorium. He hands you a cookie again.

“I just ate a granola bar while waiting for you, but thanks.” You began to eat the cookie when you noticed his eyes roaming your face. “Is there chocolate on my face or something?”

“No. I was just thinking. Have you ever skipped class?” he randomly asked.

“No. But I’m assuming you have?”

“You assume a lot of things about me,” Jeno said knowingly. “How about we break the rules for today. It’s Friday afterall. Let’s leave campus and get something to eat. We’ll be back before 7th period I promise.”

The rational side of you knew better. But then again, you were still hungry from the granola bar. “I don’t know. What if we get caught?”

“You won’t. I skip all the time. They never lock the gates near the back either. You can sneak back in easily and if an administrator asks, just give them one of these.” He pulled out a stack of hallpasses from his backpack.

“Don’t tell me, you stole them? You probably got written up for it.”

“You worry too much,” Jeno sighed. “Let's just have some fun today. What do you say?”

It took some convincing but Jeno managed to get you to skip class with him to grab food. He found himself enjoying your company as time flew by, now realizing that you were fun to talk to and tease. And to think, it only took him a little over a week to get you to warm up to him. Jeno was ecstatic.

On Saturday, Jeno came over once again to help you out with the guitar. Minji also tagged along and as you got to know her too, you found yourself growing quite fond of her. She was so cute and respectful unlike most kids her age. And just like last week, you cooked them both dinner again.

“Thanks for the chicken Y/N, it was so good,” Minji squealed, hugging your legs. You crouched down and gave her a hug, thanking her for being so cute.

“Thank you too, it was really nice spending the day with you,” Jeno admitted as he held his sister’s hand. It was getting late and Jeno was about to leave but he found himself lingering at the front door.

“You too.” You didn’t know what else to say but just look at him. You’ve never noticed it before but he had a small mole under his left eye and he even kind of resembled a samoyed dog. Cute, you noted.

You snapped out of your daze when Niki yelled, “Bye Minji, bye Jeno!”

“So I have a performance next Thursday. A concert in the auditorium,” you added hesitatingly. “We’re playing some really good classical hits and it’ll be nice if you and Minji came. If you want to though, no pressure. It starts at 6.” You didn’t want to make it seem like you were asking him out, but you did want him to see you play the trumpet since he apparently found them cool. Did you want to impress him? Maybe. You didn’t know why.

“We’ll be there,” Jeno nodded.

You bit down a smile. “Great.”

The next week, you tutored Jeno like normal except there was not much learning going on. Jeno would constantly get distracted as he kept bringing you random things. And eventually, the both of you would lose track of time, doing more talking than tutoring.

The day of the concert, you were nervous. You ended up rambling to your best friends Yeri and Xiaojun in the band room while you waited for the performance to start. The three of you have been friends since middle school and now as you were all seniors, your friendship was still as strong as ever. Well, as strong as it could be. Ever since Xiaojun and Yeri began dating, you become a third wheel more often than not.

“I can’t believe you like Jeno.” Yeri looked disgusted. “I heard he’s been messing around with that cheerleader Karina.”

“Yeah, be careful Y/N, don’t fall in love with him,” Xiaojun added.

“I don’t even know if I like him,” you clarified. “I barely know him but we’re kind of friends. At least I think we are.”

“You guys text?” Yeri asked.

“Sometimes. Just about random things.”

“No way. So you’ve been talking to him.”

“I wouldn’t put it like that. We talk but we aren’t talking.”

“Do you think he’s attractive?” Xiaojun asked.

“Kind of? I mean he kind of looks like a lost puppy sometimes when he’s thinking. It’s cute.”

Yeri fake gagged which made you giggle.

“He’s actually pretty cool once you get to know him,” you tried to say. You don’t know why you’re defending him because not too long ago, you swore all jocks were stuck up obnoxious jerks. You don’t generalize in other areas of life, but when it comes to sports? You did. You’ve encountered your fair share of bratty teenage boy athletes over your years of tutoring to come to this conclusion. The majority of jocks were annoying. But Jeno was different. And you felt it within you to defend him.

“I don’t trust him,” Yeri seethed while preparing her instrument for the concert.

“Me neither. Just be careful. If he hurts you just let me know,” Xiaojun said and put up his fists in the air as if he was squaring up on someone, making you laugh.

After the concert, you went to the band room again to put away your sheet music and trumpet. You also changed your outfit before making your way back to the auditorium to meet up with Yeri and Xiaojun. You also looked for Jeno. You tried looking for him earlier when you were playing but all the music stands blocked your view.

Then you see him. And Minji.

“Y/N!” Minji yelled as she lunged towards you.

“You were amazing, I didn’t know you could play so well,” Jeno said as he stood before you. “Here, I got you flowers, they’re kind of crushed though since I had it in my locker. Sorry I got here late too, I got out at practice then I rushed home to get Minji so yeah.”

“It’s okay, thank you. I’m glad you made it.” You were touched. It was your first time receiving flowers from someone. After a while of catching up, you changed the subject and turned around to introduce your friends. “Meet Yeri, my friend. Xiaojun is my friend too but he’s over there,” you pointed out.

Jeno recognized them from the day he first saw you but pretended like it was his first time. “Hey.”

Yeri didn’t even try to conceal her distaste for him. Not even with a face smile, just a scowl. “Hi.”

“Okay,” you interjected. “My friends and I were going to go out for some food. Do you want to come along?”

Jeno looked at Yeri who could never control her expression. It was obvious she didn't like him.

“I’m good, I should take Minji home, it’s getting late,” Jeno said, ruffling up his sister’s hair.

You nodded and reluctantly watched as he left the auditorium. Just what were you going to do…

Over the weekend, Jeno came over again and teached you how to mute, along with an easy strumming pattern.

“Why is the barre chord so hard?” you whined as you sat on the sofa in your living room. Jeno was beside you, guiding you how to play.

“It takes practice to build the muscle,” Jeno wiggled his pointer finger which made you giggle even though it wasn’t even funny. This was how it was when you were with him. He always made you laugh even if his attempts were lame.

“I actually have a surprise to show you too,” you beamed, pulling out your notes with the chords, “I’ve been practicing a song.”

Jeno clapped his hands together. “Let me hear it.”

You began to play Isn’t She Lovely by Stevie Wonder and strummed while singing along in a soft voice. Jeno thought you sounded beautiful. He couldn’t take his eyes off you.

When you finished playing, you wiped a tear that came down your eyes. “Sorry, I didn't mean to cry. I just miss my dad so much. He used to play me this song all the time but what do you think?”

“It was beautiful, you’re a great singer too,” Jeno’s eyes were filled with admiration.

That day he left your house like usual. Only this time, he couldn’t stop thinking about you.

You stared at yourself in the mirror before meeting up with Jeno for tutoring. You found yourself putting more effort into your appearance these days. You knew the chance of Jeno liking you back was low but still, you wanted to put on a bit of makeup, just in case.

Twisting open your mascara, you began to apply another coat on your lashes when the head cheerleader walked in. You didn’t pay much attention to Karina but you could feel her eyes on you as you reapplied your mascara.

“You like Jeno don’t you?” The way she asked was laced with venom or something. You didn’t like how she was talking to you.

“Why do you care?” You put away your makeup before turning to face her.

“He’s mine.” The way she said it made it sound like a threat. But you weren’t scared.

“Okay, sure,” you sighed.

She took a step towards you as if to intimidate you. “I’m serious. Sure he’s with you right now but you’ll see sooner or later. He’s just using you. Me and him are running for homecoming queen and king together, you can’t break us apart.”

“I just tutor him okay? So yeah he’s using me. You can go after him all you want, I’m not your competition so lay off.”

She then bursted out into laughter. Sheesh. Who knew someone so outwardly pretty could sound like an evil witch when laughing? She was delusional. You didn’t let her words deter you though. Sure, you might’ve liked Jeno but you weren’t ever going to act on it unless he did so first. And the likeness of him doing that? Slim.

You and him were just friends.

“You’ll see what I mean soon. Just remember, he’s mine.” And with that, she strutted out of the bathroom, leaving you in your thoughts.

You were trying to explain some concepts to Jeno but he wasn’t even paying attention. He just kept staring blankly at his worksheet.

“Jeno?” you repeated for the second time.

“Yeah?” He looked uneasy like something was bothering him.

“Are you okay? You’ve been distracted for a while now. Is something on your mind?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, what were you saying before?”

You repeated yourself. You didn’t know what you were going to do with him. He just looked so out of it.

The Friday before his first game, he had somehow convinced you to skip class again. He was starting to become a bad influence on you yet you couldn’t even find it within yourself to care. The two of you stopped by his house first to get his sports bag he had forgotten and then you both got lunch. The two of you ate in his car and he couldn’t help but notice how comfortable he was around you. When he finished eating, the two of you just stayed in his car and talked for what seemed like hours. Before he had to go in for practice, he turned to you with a serious face. “I have something to tell you.”

“Oh, okay. What is it?”

You were so clueless. So utterly oblivious. Jeno took a deep breath but it did nothing to help. His nerves didn’t subside one bit. He had to do this. He had to tell you the truth. It was eating him up inside and at this point, he didn't even care about the dare anymore. He just wanted to get it over with and hope that you’d understand and forgive him.

“I haven’t been honest with you, Y/N.“ Just promise me you’ll listen to me fully before saying anything?”

You held back a smile, not understanding why the conversation turned so serious all of a sudden. “Why would I hate you?”

“Because I-” You were looking at him so innocently. You’ve become such an important person to him, he didn’t know how to tell you the truth about the dare, so instead, he told you the other truth weighing down his heart. “I like you,” Jeno said softly. He felt like a coward. A heartless coward.

“I like you too,” you beamed.

“Good.” Jeno forced a smile.

The way your eyes twinkled made his heart sink. You truly did like him. This was going to blow up in his face so bad. He loved how flustered you were right now but at the same time, he felt so guilty. You looked at him with such admiration, he didn’t want to imagine your face filled with hate for him. He knew he had to tell you sooner or later but he couldn’t. It would break your heart and he wasn’t sure if he could do that anymore. He considered the punishment for not fulfilling his dare— that dare he was so sure of was in the past. But that was before he got to know you. The deadline was next Monday and Jeno was in trouble. He didn’t know how to break your heart and keep you in his life at the same time. Falling for you was never a part of the plan.

Later that night, Jeno’s football team won the game. After the game, the team went back to the locker rooms to converse and change. To celebrate, one of his teammates decided to throw an afterparty.

You waited outside of the locker rooms for Jeno. His teammates were looking at you weird as they walked out but you ignored them. The hatred you had for jocks was creeping back the more you saw his teammates. What did you do to them anyway?

Then you saw Jeno, and the hatred melted away once again. You embraced him in a hug. It was only meant to be a friendly-bro hug but Jeno held onto you way too long for it to be like that. The hug was more intimate than you had intended it to be.

“Are you okay?” you asked. “You look so down considering the school just won.”

“I’m just tired.” He smiled but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He didn’t know how to tell you the truth and it was eating him upside. He didn’t want you to hate him. Everyone had left the hallway outside the locker rooms now and it was so quiet. It was his time, he thought. He could tell you the truth right now and get it over with. But then he looked at you, and you were genuinely worried about him and the words he wanted to say got caught in his throat.

He was at a crossroads.

“Jeno, what's wrong?” you asked him again.

“Nothing.” He lied. He felt like a coward. “Let's go to the party, yeah?” He held his hand out and you intertwined your fingers with his.

When you arrived to the house of his teammate, you stuck to Jeno. He asked you if you wanted to play Mario Kart or beer pong but you didn’t. You just wanted to be near him and followed him wherever he went. You even tried to make conversation with his friends although you could sense that they didn’t respect you as they kept referring to you as a band geek.

In a sea of so many people, you’ve never felt more alone.

“I’m going to play beer pong with the guys?” Jeno announced to you softly as he caressed your cheek.

“I’m going to go outside for some fresh air. Find me later?”

He nodded then kissed your forehead.

It was beginning to get stuffy inside the house and you just wanted fresh air. You were leaning against the exterior wall of the house when you saw some familiar faces come from the driveway.

As they neared, you recognized them as Xiaojun and Yeri.

“I thought you guys were tired,” you beamed as you hugged your friends.

“We were, but we also wanted to have fun,” Xiaojun added before walking into the house, leaving you and Yeri behind.

“We also wanted to see how you were doing, where's Jeno?” Yeri asked, while glaring at her boyfriend from behind.

“Jeno’s playing beer pong,” you began. “I just needed a break, it’s nice to have some fresh air outside”

Yeri tsked, as if she was disapproving of Jeno again. “That’s enough fresh air. Come on, let's go have some fun inside.” Yeri encouraged as she dragged you inside. You didn’t see Jeno on the way to the pool, but you figured he was just with the guys in the other room and forgot about him for a bit.

While it was fun, chatting with some people near the pool, it had been an hour now since you’ve last seen Jeno. “I’m going to look for Jeno,” you told Yeri before going back inside the house. You checked the bottom floor first before going upstairs.

You’ve already checked a few rooms but he wasn't there. Right as you were about to turn the corner, you heard your name. It was strung along with Jeno’s name which furthered your curiosity.

What could people be saying about you now? You hated how much your name was used in gossip lately. And all this because you decided to tutor Jeno.

A male voice laughed. “It’s been a month and he’s still with that band geek. The deadline is in 3 days, I wonder how he’ll break her heart.”

“Do you think she knows? I mean she has to, right? Why would a guy like him ever hang out with her if it were not for the dare.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah, that freshman on JV told me. I kind of feel bad for her.”

You went up to a random boy in that group and grabbed a fistful of his shirt and forced him to explain. He seemed wasted, and just smirked at how you handled him.

“Hey chill, all I know is that varsity has a tradition of dares,” the guy slurred, eyes raking your body up and down.

You refrained from slapping him. “You’re saying someone dared Jeno to date me?”

“Yeah, apparently he had to make you fall in love with him? Something like that.”

“Nah dude, his dare was to break someone’s heart and he chose you,” another guy added with a laugh.

You loosened your grip on the boy’s shirt and took a step back, disappearing around the corner. You were devastated. They had to be lying. No way the Jeno you knew would do that. He was different, wasn’t he? Wanting some privacy, you opened the door to the room closest to you only to get the opposite of what you wanted.

Jeno was kissing someone on the bed. Not just anyone though. He was kissing Karina. Perhaps the most prettiest yet bitchiest girl at your damn school. The one girl everyone had a crush on. The one girl he apparently had a crush on too.

Yeri was right. Jeno was no different.

Right as Jeno saw you, he pushed Karina off and called out your name.

But you don’t listen.

Tears burned in your eyes as you ran out of the room and down the stairs. The music was already loud but it only amplified as the scene of Karina straddling Jeno replayed in your head. Everything just felt so suffocating. You needed fresh air.

You barely made it onto the driveway when you felt a hand grab your wrist.

“I know it looks bad, but it’s not what it looks like,” he pleaded with wide eyes. “I just got out of the bathroom when she showed up. I didn't even get a chance to move before she pushed me to the bed and kissed me. I tried to push her off and that’s when you came in,” he tried to protest but there was no justifying what you saw. Or heard for that matter.

“You don’t have to explain yourself,” you said calmly, as you yanked your hand away from him.

“Of course I do, I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. I really like you-”

“You must think I’m stupid Jeno. I know about your dare with varsity. And to make it worse, my dumbass actually fell for it. You know what? Maybe you're right. Maybe I am stupid.” You hated how everyone on the driveway was staring at you now. The attention made you humiliated.

His eyes widened. “How did you find out about it?”

“Does it matter? The deadline is in three days is it not? Well congratulations, you succeeded. Was any of it even real Jeno? Or was it just all a game to you?” It wasn’t even a break up. You and him were never a couple yet it felt worse than a break up. You felt so used.

“I promise it might have started out that way, but everything I felt for you was genuine,” Jeno pleaded. “I never meant for it to hurt you or get this far.“ He hated the way you looked at him. And he hated it even more that he was the one that caused it. He could tell that you were trying your best to be calm but he knew you were hurt. Especially with how guarded you were the first time he had met you.

“How could this not have hurt me? Was I that much of a loser?”

“No, you aren’t at all, it was just tradition, you know how it is.”

“No I don’t know. Did you really think I was so easy?” You took a second to calm yourself. You had to get away from this place before you completely broke down in front of everyone. “I hate you Jeno. I never want to see you again.”

But right as you turned your heels, he tried to reach for your hand again only to get a slap to the face. Leave me alone,” you warned.

Jeno deserved it and he knew it. All he could do was stare back at the anger fueled in your eyes.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Xiaojun interjected. He was making his way from inside the house along with Yeri.

You watched as Xiaojun stepped in front of you and guided you behind him.

“Xiaojun, it’s fine,” you tried to tell him.

Jeno rolled his eyes at how your friend always had to involve himself. “This is none of your business dude.”

Xiaojun ignored him and turned back to you.“Did he hurt you?”

“No, we were just talking. Can you just give me a ride? I want to go home.” And thankfully your friends took you home. You never wanted to see Jeno again.

Xiaojun and Yeri knew something was wrong seeing how visibly upset you were. You told them what happened in the car and they came to hate Jeno even more. To them, he was always the conceited player who shitted on everyone else. The typical jock. You thought he was different, but you were wrong. Truthfully, a part of you wished Jeno had chased after you that night, but he didn't. Of course he wouldn’t run after you, why would he? It wasn't like he actually cared about you in the first place.

The following week, everyone reported to the captain with their proof of the dares and everyone succeeded. It was a good sign that they were going to do well this season and everyone was ecstatic. Jeno had passed the initiation of some sorts, but at what cost? The girl he liked hated him. And he didn’t even know how to fix it.

Weeks passed and you were still ignoring Jeno. There were so many times he wanted to just walk up to you and talk. But deep down he knew there was no justifying what he did. As if the dare wasn’t enough to break your heart, you also walked in on him at the worst time possible.

It was the night of a home game, when you were reluctantly there with the marching band. Jeno snuck glances at you when you were marching across the field. You didn’t notice him but he saw you and he thought you looked beautiful under the moonlight. He knew he had to do his best to impress you tonight and win the game.

And win the game he did.

“What gives man? You look like someone ran over your foot.” Haechan patted Jeno’s back. “We just won! Let’s go!”

Of course Jeno was happy but he was also thinking. Were you paying attention to him? He scanned the crowd where the band sat and admired you. You were having a conversation with that Xiaojun kid and his girlfriend next to you but your eyes were on him. He smiled at you but you didn’t smile back. He let his friends push him around as they cheered. He wanted so badly for you to run towards him and hug him but things weren’t like that anymore. Instead, he felt the arms of someone else around him.

Jeno turned around to see the cheerleaders running up to the team and looked down to see Karina’s arms around him. He grew agitated at the sight of her and peeled her arms off his body.

“You did so well, come on Jeno, I’ve missed you-,” Karina got cut off by Jeno who told her to stop.

“Can you leave me alone for once? For fuck’s sake, can you take a hint when someone doesnt want you around?” Jeno was on edge and his voice was louder than he intended it to be. He knew that you were looking at him and Karina would only make things worse.

Karina scoffed, embarrassed since Jeno had made a scene. As much as she hated Jeno, she also wanted him. But for now, she left him alone.

Jeno sighed in relief when she walked away. He scanned the bleachers for you again but the band had left. You were gone.

Over the next few weeks, you remained inexistent in Jeno’s life. You began to dedicate your time to improving your trumpet skills for the upcoming performance concert. There would be another classical medley of songs and you needed to have the muscle memory to keep up with all the notes.

The day of the concert, it was gloomy but still, the auditorium was packed. You played your part as the composer directed, eyes following your sheet music.

After the concert, you went back to the band room to change and put away your trumpet before meeting up with Xiaojun, Yeri, and her mother in the audience.

“So what do you kids want to eat? Should we order pizza at home or go out for some real food?” Yeri’s mother asked the three of you.

Yeri was quick to propose a steakhouse and both you and Xiaojun agreed.

“Oh, I forgot my bag in the locker room, I’ll be right back,” you apologized.

You made it quick to the public lockers near the band room, not wanting to hold your friends up. You were struggling with your lock combination. It was right, left, right, right? Just why wouldn’t it open?

“You need help?” A familiar voice asked from behind your shoulder.

You turned around. Jeno.

“Hi,” he started. “Here I got you flowers, you did great out there.”

You looked down at the flowers then back at him. “What are you doing here?”

“Y/N!” a voice from behind Jeno yelled. It was Minji.

Minji ran to you and hugged your legs. “I’ve missed you Y/N. Why don’t you come over anymore?”

You bent down to hug Minji. “I’ve missed you too. I’ve just been busy, I’m so sorry.” You felt terrible, not knowing how to break her the news that you hated her brother. So instead, you pretended like everything was okay.

Jeno handed you the flowers when you stood up from hugging Minji.

“Thanks,” you sighed, reluctantly taking the bouquet. “I really need to get going though.” You turned back to your locker and tried the combination again.

“I’ve missed you,” he hesitated.

“Jeno, that’s not a good idea,” you sighed.

“Just give me one more chance. I know what I did was stupid but I really want to make things right with you. Please.”

You managed to get your locker open and grabbed your bag before turning back to Jeno. “I don’t know. Thanks for the flowers but I have to go, my friends are waiting for me.”

You bent down to Minji and gave her a kiss on her forehead before you left. You didn't know how to deal with your heart anymore. A part of you still loved him. But a part of you just couldn’t let it go.

Jeno was devastated that night but he understood. He left you alone after that.

The homecoming game was in a week and you had been practicing for what felt like years. The trumpet was heavy, the mouthpiece bruised your lips, and your fingers were cramping. You were over it. If it weren’t for your best friends who also were in band, you would’ve just taken a nap.

The weather was the topic among your bandmates the day of the homecoming game. It was perfectly chilly and breezy which allowed for minimal sweat for all the marching and playing you had to do.

It was disappointing to say the least– your school had lost. The fact that it was a homecoming game for your school made it even more depressing. No one from your school was in a good mood.

You glanced down at the crowd, eyes scanning the grassy field for Jeno who was being comforted by his teammates. There was sweat dripping on his face and a frown of anger as he held onto his helmet.

After the game, you were going to go home but Xiaojun and Yeri practically dragged you to the rival team’s afterparty. Xiaojun was friends with a guy on the other team and given how sad you seemed these days, Xiaojun wanted you to have some fun. Or in his words, drink, socialize, and forget about the boy. And that you did. You had two cheap beers and that was enough to get you just buzzed enough to let loose and socialize.

Xiaojun and Yeri made an effort to introduce you to his friends at the other school and tried to make sure you were comfortable. His efforts were appreciated but you still felt out of place. The music was loud and people kept pushing their sweaty bodies against you which became more annoying as the alcohol began to wear off. You made your way to the second floor to use the restroom which was locked. Considering how you heard some noises coming from inside, you supposed it would be a while before they came out. Frustrated, you searched the bedrooms and looked for another restroom.

While you expected to see people from your school at the party, you didn't expect Jeno to be there, but there he was leaning against the wall, looking all sad.

You turned around to walk away, but he called out your name ever so softly which made you halt. Just why couldn’t you walk away? Jeno grabbed your hand and turned you around. He had you pinned you against the wall with an arm beside your shoulder. “I miss you,” he said softly. His eyes were laced with something so delicate causing you to melt under his gaze. He was so close to you, breathing down your neck. The way he looked at you was so intense yet so soft and for a split second you could almost feel as if he might’ve actually liked you. “You have no idea what you do to me,” he mumbled, fingers trailing your jawline.

“Jeno. What are you doing?” You hated how your voice came out so low. Your heart was beating rapidly against your chest from the way he had you pinned. You could have pushed him away but you didn’t. Because a part of you missed him too.

“Will you let me kiss you?” Jeno muttered.

You hated yourself for wanting to say yes but you couldn’t help how soft his lips looked. You were about to stupidly say yes when you heard your friend’s voice echo. “Get off her, you jerk.” The next thing you knew, Jeno was being pulled off you. Xiaojun had come up from behind and fisted Jeno’s shirt, pushing him against the wall.

“Xiaojun, it’s fine, get off him,” you tried to intervene but your words rang silent.

“Leave her alone. Haven't you done enough?” Xiaojun hissed at Jeno.

“For the last time, mind your own business dude.”

Xiaojun scoffed as he tightened his grip, “And for the last time, leave Y/N alone. You’ve done enough. Don’t tell me you suddenly like her now that she's over you.”

Jeno pushed Xiaojun’s grip away and took a step closer to him to assert the fact that he was taller than him. “She’s not over me, just look at her, she misses me too.” His words came out slurred.

Xiaojun sighed. “I get it, the girl you played dumped you and you lost the game and you're angry, but genuinely, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

Jeno had frustration laced in his eyes, he hated when people pitied him. It was almost scary in the way he let out a bitter chuckle.

“Fuck you,” Jeno said as a tear rolled down his cheek. He directed a finger to Xiaojun’s chest. “You don’t know anything.”

“Then enlighten me. What could your problem possibly be?”

“My problem is you,” Jeno said with fire in his eyes. He shoved Xiaojun with both hands and he shoved back.

You couldn’t let Jeno hit Xiaojun like that. You ran to Xiaojun and placed yourself in the middle to try and get him to calm down before things escalated but Jeno had fire in his eyes. He looked back at you then at Xiaojun. He scoffed before walking away.

“Are you okay?” Xiaojun mumbled softly with his hand on your shoulder.

“Yeah, I’m okay. You didn’t have to step in like that but thank you.”

“Of course I had to, you’re my best friend.” Xiaojun pulled you in for a hug along with Yeri too.

Before you left that night, you saw Karina and Jeno together in the kitchen and she had her hand on his arm. You made eye contact with Jeno but you looked away as soon as it happened. It was only for a brief moment as you passed by but it still managed to make you feel uneasy. It shouldn’t have bothered you so much, but it did.

Lee Jeno was just so damn confusing.

The next day was homecoming and it was daunting to say the least. You weren’t even planning on going but you already bought a ticket and Yeri was persistent on how you shouldn’t let the lack of a date get in the way of your senior year plans.

The first thing you saw when you walked into the gymnasium was Karina with her arm around Jeno’s. You weren’t sure what hurt most, the fact that he looked so handsome in a suit, or the fact that he was here with the girl you hated the most.

Yeri saw you glancing at Jeno and his date and immediately pulled you to check out the food selection.

Looks like all homecoming had to offer was off-branded chips and cookies. Xiaojun and Yeri took a bite of the chocolate chip cookie before tossing it out. You couldn’t even blame them. They were stale but it didn’t stop you from stuffing your mouth.

In the meantime, Yeri poured you some punch and encouraged you to slow down on the cookies. “Brighten up, homecoming might’ve not been what you were expecting but it’s our last one, so let's make the most of it.”

“You’re right,” you sighed. “I just hate how I’m all alone and Jeno is with Karina. I still hate how dumb I was. I should’ve believed you right away when you said they were messing around. I just thought he was different.”

Yeri didn’t know what else to do but distract you. “Hey you love this song,” she cheered while wiggling her hips, “dance with me?” she reached for your hand.

You felt bad, not wanting to interfere with their night. “It’s fine, go have fun with Xiaojun,” you assured her.

“One dance,” Yeri proposed. “Babe, you too, you can find your friends later” she turned to her boyfriend.

“Fine,” you rolled your eyes playfully.

The one dance turned into one hour as the song kept changing from hit to hit. It wasn’t until the DJ played a slow song that you opted out of. Yeri and Xiaojun could take it from there.

You made your way to a vacant table near the back and watched as all the couples danced. Your eyes drifted to Jeno who was slowly dancing with Karina. You couldn’t help but compare yourself. You looked down at your dress that had rhinestones that decorated the exterior of the top. You didn’t even know why you got all dressed up when you had no one to impress.

Not wanting to look lonely, you poured yourself some punch then made your way out of the gymnasium to the hallway. You took off your heels before sitting down against the lockers a few steps away from the entrance. You didn’t mean to cry, but in the moment, you felt like crying. You took a sip of your fruit punch and let the faint music drown your thoughts. You stayed like that for a while.

Meanwhile inside of the gymnasium, Jeno found solace with his teammates. He needed to get away from Karina. She was starting to get on his nerves. Just how much could that girl talk?

Jeno had spotted Yeri and Xiaojun dancing to the music but you weren't in sight.

Moments passed where he scanned the whole gym just to look for you. He was about to go outside when Karina found him again and wrapped her arms around him.

The homecoming queen and king announcement was about to begin and Karina kept going on about how she was going to win. Jeno wanted to rip his hair out at how annoying she was.

A while later, Jeno, Karina, along with all the people running, came to the stage. Jeno wished the person with the mic would hurry up and announce the winners already. He didn’t care about any of it. Noy the dance. Not Karina. Not being king.

In the end, Karina was crowned homecoming queen and Jeno was crowned homecoming king.

Jeno scanned the crowd for you but nothing. All the clapping and cheering from his fellow classmates was only making him more frustrated. He never wanted any of this.

He quickly gave his speech and waited for Karina to make her speech. He was about to run off after the pictures when Karina pulled on his arm to whisper in his ear. “Give me this dance then you can chase after that bitch I don’t care. If you ruin this for me, you’ll regret this.”

Jeno glared at her threat and whispered back in her ear, “You better keep your promise,” he grumbled. He has never hated Karina more but he had to keep his composure in front of everyone.

As Jeno was slow dancing with Karina, all he could think about was you. He couldn’t wait until the dance was over so he could look for you.

“Y/N! There you were, I was looking for you everywhere,” Yeri sighed in relief. “What are you doing on the floor, get up.”

Yeri helped pull you up while you gnawed on the empty cup. You had been listening to the homecoming king and queen announcements outside the gym and heard how Jeno and Karina won queen and king. You were happy for them. Truly. “How’s Jeno? Does he look happy dancing with Karina?” you ask Yeri. A part of you wanted her to say yes just so you could get over Jeno once and for all.

“Not really, let's forget about him though,” Yeri sighed. “Xiaojun and his friends are going to get some real food though. How does burgers and fries sound?”

“I guess it sounds good.”

“Great, come on, Xiaojun is already in the limo.”

“Wait!” A familiar voice pulled you to a halt. “Please, I just want to apologize.”

Jeno froze as he took in how beautiful you looked up close. If things were different– if things went his way, he would’ve danced with you tonight. Instead, he had to dance with someone else and faced the consequences of his own actions.

“Come on,” Yeri rushed but you didn’t move.

You wanted to hear what he had to say.

“Please Y/N, I’m sorry for yesterday. I was drunk and angry. I know it doesn’t justify anything but please, I just want things to be okay with us again.” The way you looked back at him was so heartbreaking and he knew it was all because of him.

“It’s fine, Jeno. Just go back to Karina and leave me alone.”

“There’s nothing going on with me and her,” he said dryly. He felt defeated.

You didn’t reply and turned to leave with Yeri. There was no use in talking to him when all he did was lie.

The following week, the players knew they had an earful coming. The captain was conditioning and being rough on the players for losing. He did the usual for practice. The teammates were split into teams to do rounds then practiced offensive and defensive positions the following days. Only, it was more intense. Jeno was unfortunate enough to have a contact injury during practice.

A week had passed and news of Jeno’s minor injury spread like wildfire throughout the school. You saw him around the hallway and he looked fine but how could you be so sure? You couldn’t help but be worried about him. You tried to ignore his presence around the school but everywhere you turned, there was a reminder of him. The posters on the wall of him and football. The grassy fields and even the juice from the cafeteria reminded you of the first day you met him. He was everywhere.

“Are you okay?” Yeri asked you, pulling you out of your daze.

“What?”

“Were you thinking about him who shall not be named again?”

“Maybe,” you sighed, glancing down at your desk to see your blank notebook. “He got injured at practice last week,” you reminded her.

“He’s fine, don’t worry about him. Here, you can copy my notes,” Yeri offered, seeing how distracted you were.

“Thanks, I just need to use the restroom first.”

After asking your teacher to use the restroom, she gave you the hallway pass and you walked to the nearest bathroom which was in the building adjacent to yours. Eager to feel more awake, you splashed your face with water from the sink.

“How’s it going with you and Jeno?” a familiar voice asked.

You wiped your face with a paper towel then turned to the direction the voice came from beside you. Karina was fixing her bangs and reapplying her makeup in the mirror.

“What?” you asked.

“We’ve got to stop meeting like this,” she sighed. “I said how are things going with you and Jeno?” she sighed, now leaning against the sink to face you.

“Why do you care?”

“I don’t. I’m just asking,” she shrugged. “He seems to really like you although I don't know why.”

“I told you there’s no competition. Just be with him already, I don’t care.”

She chortled. “I don’t want him anymore. I deserve better and quite frankly trash deserves trash.”

“Okay, insult me all you want, I don’t care. I’m leaving.” You turned your heels to leave when she said, “Jeno’s in love with you,” causing you to stop in your tracks. “What?” You turned around, not understanding why she kept messing with you.

She pursed her lips. “I guess he hasn’t told you yet… Although I don’t see what he sees in you, he seems to love you. You should forgive him.”

“He told you this? Word for word that he loved me?”

“Ask him yourself” she said, before putting her lipstick back in her bag. She didn’t say anything else after that and just strutted out of the restroom, leaving you dumbfounded. You took her words with a grain of salt. There was no way he loved you. As much as you didn’t want to believe Karina, you couldn't help but think about the conversation on your way back to your class.

After the bell rang, Yeri walked you to your next class. On the way, you couldn’t help noticing Jeno in the hallway. He was walking alone and looked so sad. He loves you, the words Karina said resonated in your head. It was driving you insane.

“Come on Y/N, don’t even look at him,” Yeri urged, but you couldn’t get your eyes off him. Jeno seemed to have noticed you staring at him too and jogged towards you from the other side of the hallway.

“Great, he’s heading towards us.” Yeri groaned.

“Hey,” Jeno said softly.

“Hi,” you replied.

“The bell is about to ring. I’m gonna go, are you going to be okay?” Yeri asked you while glaring at Jeno.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you replied and Yeri walked up the stairs to her next class.

“I know I already apologized, but I really do mean it. I'm sorry for what happened at the party. I don’t expect you to forgive me, I know it was wrong to push your friend and about what I said, I’m really sorry, it just came out, I was just so annoyed with myself and your friend acted like a jealous boyfriend and I don’t know what got into me. He was only standing up for you and I didn’t mean for things to end like that-“

“It’s okay,” you blurted out, putting an end to his rambling. The bell rang right after you spoke up. You didn’t completely forgive him yet you also didn’t want to hate him anymore. “How’s your head? I heard you got injured last week.”

“Oh yeah, it was just a minor injury. Nothing serious.”

“That’s good.”

“Yeah.”

You hated how awkward it was. Even when you first met, it was never this awkward.

Jeno gripped onto the strap of his backpack. “So are we friends again? Things will be different this time, I promise.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea Jeno.”

“Come on, how can you just act like there was nothing between us? We were friends before weren’t we?” he pleaded.

“How can you act like I wasn’t just a dare to you Jeno? Do you think you’ll say sorry and everything will just be okay, we’ll be friends again?”

“What do you want me to do then? I can’t change the past, all we can do is move on.” Jeno knew you still cared about him regardless of how you were pushing him away. He just had to be patient and time would heal everything. He was sure of it.

“I don’t know. I just need time.” You were so tired of being mad at him. You wanted to forgive him, you really did.

“Take all the time you need,” Jeno nodded, before stepping backwards. “You know where to find me.”

And just like that, he strolled away with a piece of your heart. For some reason, you felt dejected.

The week before winter exams, you were filling your time studying. You had a stack of review packets from your teachers on your desk and you were exhausted. Perhaps you were delirious, even because you had no idea what you were doing but you drove to Jeno’s house. You didn’t know what you were even going to say yet but something inside you just wanted to see him.

When you made it to his front doorstep, you rang the doorbell, anxiously picking at your cuticles. You waited and waited. In a split second of realizing this was a bad idea, you were about to walk away when the door finally opened.

“Hi,” Jeno said. His hair was all disheveled and he was in a baggy hoodie and basketball shorts. He just looked so comfortable and huggable.

“Hi,” your voice was barely above a whisper.

“So what are you doing here?” He closed the front door and stepped towards you.

“I honestly don't know. I guess I just wanted to see you. Can we talk?” You took a seat on the bench that was on the front porch.

“Yeah, sure.” Jeno ran his hand through his hair before taking a seat next to you too.

You blew air into your hands as an attempt to warm them up. It was so chilly outside and it only made you more nervous as you chose your words carefully. “I don’t know why I’m here,” you admitted. “I’m supposed to be studying right now but I just couldn’t stop thinking about you,” you admitted.

“I can’t stop thinking about you either.”

You smiled at that, now glancing over at him and you practically melted under his gaze. He was so attractive under the moonlight and your heart only swelled.

“Did you even need help with calculus?” you began, referring to the day you met him. It was always on your mind to ask but you never got the chance.

Jeno sighed. “Honestly? I never needed help with calculus. I actually needed help with world history but you didn’t teach it so I just pretended to be bad at math.”

For some reason, his response made you chortle. “I had a feeling. You caught onto the material so fast. And if you still want to. Do you still want to be friends?” A part of you also wanted to ask him if he had loved you like Karina claimed but it wasn’t the right time. Another day, you supposed.

“Yeah, of course.” Jeno smiled.

The next week, Xiaojun came to you saying that Jeno apologized to him. That made you happy. Although Xiaojun still disliked Jeno, you forgave him. Your memories brought you back to the night you left Jeno’s porch after catching up with him. You felt like the weight in your heart melted away.

You spent the rest of the week reconciling with Jeno. You let him walk you to class. You ate lunch with him. You laughed with him. And you even let him back in your heart as friends. You really felt like he had changed. The night before exams, you even spent the whole day at his house, studying with him. You were cozied up on his bedroom floor, leaned against the side of his bed. You quizzed him on his classes and he quizzed you on yours for what seemed like forever before he called for a break.

“So what are you going to do when school’s out?” he asked, tossing his flashcards to the side.

“I’m not sure. I think my aunt and grandma are coming to visit. How about you?”

“I don’t know, but I’m nervous. I don’t know how the holidays are going to work out with my mom and dad. I’m probably going to have to go back and forth.”

“I’m sure it’ll be okay. Look on the bright side, two Christmases to look forward to,” you smiled, encouraging him to cheer up.

“I guess you’re right.” Jeno reconsidered and looked down at his hands in a pensive state.

“What’s wrong?” You scooted closer to him, pulling his hands down from his face.

Jeno glanced up at you then scanned your face. He hadn’t been this close to you in what seemed like forever. You were so close to him and your lips looked so inviting. He could hear your breathing and the sound of your heart thumping against your chest. Just for a moment, he wondered what it would be like to kiss you, so he did. He leaned forward and closed the space between you and him.

You didn’t know what to do but to kiss him back. You reached for his neck and pulled him even closer. The next thing you knew, you were on his lap and his hands were on your waist, not daring to go any lower. His fingers trailed underneath your top and his thumbs circled your bare skin leaving you breathless.

“I love you,” Jeno muttered against your lips.

“Jeno,” you breathed. Reality crashed back down the moment you looked into his eyes. You couldn’t do it. You couldn’t be here right now, knowing how you loved him too. You got off his lap and began to look for your bag. “I’m sorry, I can’t do this. I should go.”

“Wait,” Jeno jumped up.

“This was a bad idea. I just wanted to be friends, Jeno.”

“You’re lying to yourself if you think we can be just friends.”

“Well, we can’t do this Jeno. I can’t be with you.”

“Why? Is there someone else?”

“It’s not that. I just can’t, okay? I’m really trying to just leave this all behind us, but I can’t no matter how hard I try. I just need to go.”

Jeno didn’t chase after you that night. He couldn’t get over the fact that he had hurt you too.

Exam week passed by in a blur.

It was now winter break and Jeno had spent his days thinking about you and what you were up to. Jeno wasn’t sure if you wanted to see him too but he had to apologize for that night. He had to make things right no matter how much you pushed him away.

He took a deep breath before he rang the doorbell. His lips curved into a smile the moment he saw your face.

“What are you doing here?” You were surprised to see Jeno, but you didn’t exactly hate the fact that he was here. You knew that he’d want to talk eventually.

Before Jeno could speak, Minji called out your name and ran towards you.

Minji hugged your legs and she looked even more grown than the last time. You’ve missed her. “How are you?” you cooed as you kneeled down to her.

“I miss you so much Y/N. I wanted you to come over but Jeno kept saying no. He’s so mean,” she teased as she glared back at her brother.

Jeno walked towards you. “Hey.”

“Hey.” You forced a smile at him. You then looked back at Minji. “Remember my little brother? Niki is in his room playing Minecraft, do you wanna go play with him?” you asked Minji.

“Niki!” she squealed as she ran up the stairs.

“So what’s up?” you asked, taking a seat on the first step of the stairs.

Jeno followed, taking the vacant spot beside you. “I wanted to ask how your exams went.”

“They were fine. Is that all?”

“And I wanted to say that I’m sorry for the other day. I shouldn’t have kissed you. I know you wanted to be just friends but I thought maybe I could change your mind which I shouldn’t have done. I’ll respect your wishes from now on. I just want us to be friends again, that’s all. Nothing more.”

“That’s not why I’ve been avoiding you Jeno.”

“Was it because I told you I loved you?”

“No it wasn’t. It’s just- How can you just act like I wasn’t just a dare to you? Goddaamit Jeno.” Frustrated, you brought your hands to your face.

“So you still haven’t forgiven me..”

You looked back up at him. “I’m trying, it’s just everytime I look at your face, all I see is Karina on top of you and her dancing with you at homecoming. I thought I was over it but I’m not.”

He reached for your hand. “Can you just trust me this once? I have never messed around with Karina. That night I was using the bathroom at the party, she must’ve followed me and waited until I got out because when I came out of the bathroom, she just kissed me and pushed me onto the bed. I was trying to push her off when you came in. I was telling the truth that day. And that day at homecoming? It was the only way to get her off my back. I told her to leave our relationship alone and she agreed but only if I was beside her for homecoming. Haven’t you noticed how she’s left us alone now? I swear I haven’t talked to her since that night. I only ever agreed to run with her because she kept asking too and I really did bail on her at the end but then she made the promise and I really just wanted her to leave us alone so I went with her. Please believe me,” Jeno pleaded as he squeezed your hand in between his. So Karina was telling the truth. “And I know the dare was a shitty thing but I don't regret it one bit. If I never went through with the dare, I wouldn't have gotten to know you. And meeting you was the best thing that has ever happened to me this year, can you trust that? I meant it that night when I said I love you. I still do and it’s okay if you don’t love me back. I just want us to be okay again.”

You shed a tear when Jeno poured his heart out. “Okay. I forgive you. For real this time. But only because you have such a way with words,” you smiled.

“Good,” he smiled. “Because I love you.”

“Jeno,” you sighed. “I met with Karina in the restroom the other day and she told me that you said that you loved me.” You looked at him, hoping he would elaborate.

“I said I liked you, but I do love you too,” Jeno admitted. “I told her to leave you alone too but I guess she broke her promise. Did she bother you?”

“No. She was being quite nice actually.”

[ Flashback: The night of the homecoming party after the fight with Xiaojun ]

Jeno was tired of everything. He had lost the homecoming game and yet he couldn’t even find it within himself to care. Not when he messed up everything with you. He had his chance to make things right but then that Xiaojun dude just had to show up. He was so angry at himself. He wanted to just drink every thought away but then he thought about it. Drinking would just be useless.

He was swirling his drink around in his cup when Karina walked up to him. She smiled which caused him to roll his eyes. He was about to walk away when she grabbed at his arm, trying to convince him to see her as more than just a classmate.

“Come on Jeno, I’m right here. Can’t you see that I like you? I’ve been chasing you for years now, are you really gonna play hard to get still?”

“Are you that dumb?” He was tired of being nice as he went off in her face. “I don’t like you and I never will.”

“Is it Y/N? People are saying you actually fell for that band nerd. Is it true? You really did like her?”

“I do. And you know why? Because she’s a good person unlike you. I’ll never even as much as like you so just go away,” he spat, eyes boring in hers to make sure his distaste was clear.

“You’re still hung up on that bitch? Isn’t that pathetic?” she asked genuinely.

“Watch your mouth,” he warned as he diverted his attention towards Karina again. “If anything, you’re the pathetic one. I’ve tried to be nice but I’ve had it with you so move.” He pulled his arm out of her grip then began to walk away only to be stopped again by her hand. From the corner of his eye, he saw you leaving the house with your friends and stood frozen when you locked eyes with him. His heart sank when you diverted your gaze.

“Jeno-“ Karina pleaded, seeing how he was staring at you. She tugged at his arm only to be met with a grunt. “I’ll leave you and her alone,” Karina began in a desperate attempt. “Just go to homecoming with me please. Be homecoming king. Your name is already in the running and you promised me at the start. Please, just this once. Do me one last favor and I’ll never talk to you again after that. I’ll even help you get her back, just please.”

Jeno turned to face her. “You want to be homecoming queen and king with me that bad?”

“Yes.” She gripped his arm even tighter. “It’s everything to me. Just go with me for one night. Then I’ll leave you and her alone forever.”

“Fine. But don’t help me get her back. Do nothing. All I want is for you to leave us both alone.”

“Deal,” she was on the verge of tears, feeling utterly heartbroken because of Jeno.

“You better keep that promise,” Jeno said sternly and Karina knew better than to say anything else.

[ Present ]

You felt a tear trickle down your cheek after hearing how he defended you.

Jeno’s hand went to your cheek and his thumb swiped over the tear.

“I like you too,” you said with a smile. “And I love you too.”

“I love you too… So do you still want to be just friends or should we finish what we started the other day in my room?” He said while raising his eyebrows suggestively. Jeno was his usual self again, enjoying how flustered you looked right now.

“Oh my god, shut up. My aunt is upstairs, she could hear you,” you whispered after flicking his arm. “Come on, let's go to Niki’s room and see what they built in Minecraft.” You stood up, holding out your hand.

“Can’t we just go to your room instead?” Jeno whined playfully while grabbing your hand.

You rolled your eyes while trying to bite back a smile. “Nice try, but no.”

For the rest of the day, Jeno stayed over at your house and even met the rest of your family. He played board games and even watched TV with them too and they all loved him. Everything was starting to fall into place.

Even though Jeno had hurt you, it was all in the past now. After all, if it hadn't been for the stupid dare, you wouldn’t have met the boy you loved.

194 notes · View notes

crvptidgf · 11 hours

Text

Through My Fingertips

Mattheo Riddle x Reader

➸ summary: how mattheo grapples with the fact that he can’t admit his true feelings towards you

➸ warnings/notes: angst, mentions of sexual activity but nothing explicit, mattheo being emotionally unavailable, fwb!reader

A/N: based on this post from @leona-hawthorne. also listening to CHIHIRO by billie eilish while thinking about this… it hurts good.

word count: 2.9k (it’s a long one)

————————

IF THERE WAS one thing universally known, is that Mattheo Riddle didn’t do serious relationships. He would sleep around, maybe take a girl out on a date every once in a while just to take her back to his dorm, but that’s as far as his emotional availability went. It was a result of the harsh and arduous years living with his father.

Until you came along. You managed to break down his walls with every brush of your fingertips and every soft kiss that you’d bless him with. He could never let you go, but was simultaneously scared to fully let you in.

So now, you were in a weird in-between place of casually sleeping together, while also cuddling and having sleepovers every other night.

Theo can’t remember the last time Mattheo kept one of his hook ups around for so long. At most, the women would last a week or two before it got too real for him, and he would break it off. In all the years that they’ve been friends, Mattheo has never really even showed romantic interest. Commitment wasn’t necessarily a virtue that he had.

When you stepped out of the boy’s dorm for the fourth week in a row, Theo and Blaise’s eyebrows shot up; but they regained their composure as they greeted you, watching as you happily shuffled away.

“This is new,” commented Theo when Mattheo stepped out of his room, his pants hung low and his arms shoving through the holes in his t-shirt.

“Is it? I bring girls around all the time.”

Mattheo knew what Theo meant. He didn’t want to be bombarded with questions that he didn’t have the answers to. The past few weeks, all he’s been able to think about is you.

You, with your sweet laughter and infectious smile. You, with that fresh rose perfume that you always seemed to have on hand, spraying it on your collarbones before jogging away to your class. There was nothing more that he wanted to think about - and the fact that his mind hasn’t been able to forget about you scared him shitless. He should be the cold, heartless player that everybody believes he is. Yet something about the way you looked at him made Mattheo want to forget all about his reputation and his fears. If only he was a little stronger, a little less afraid to become the man you deserved.

“You do,” said Blaise, breaking the silence. “Just haven’t seen you so… committed to one, like, ever.”

Mattheo’s head whipped up at the word ‘committed’. The son of the Dark Lord, willingly committing to someone? Impossible.

“Please,” he scoffed, “the only thing I’m committed to is getting her into my bed.”

It wasn’t really wrong. You knew what you were getting yourself into when you made your arrangement with him. There was strictly to be no feelings involved, it was a purely sexual relationship. However, this fact did not make it any less painful to hear the words that tumbled out of Riddle’s mouth any easier. If only you kept walking instead of sticking around behind the wall to tie your shoes.

“I don’t know, man. You-“

Mattheo held his hand up, his nostrils flaring. “Look, if you’re gonna keep hounding me with this bullshit, I’d rather leave now.”

He waited for a moment to see if anyone would say anything else, and when they didn’t, he sat down on the couch. The conversation switched faster than you could stand up from your kneeling position on the ground.

‘Bullshit’ is what he said when he referred to your friends with benefits situation. Was that really all he thought of you? Sure you were aware that he didn’t want feelings involved, but you wished he was at least a little more respectful when he spoke about you. Especially behind your back. It hurt knowing that his friends thought nothing more of you than some ‘bullshit side piece’ of Mattheo’s.

The following day you managed to avoid him at all costs. When you’d see him making his way towards you, your head would turn to the opposite direction, finding a classmate or friend to occupy your time until he walked away.

You only had yourself to blame. You should’ve known that him letting you stay over was only because you insisted. Maybe you were pushing him too hard - and perhaps all the gentle kisses you two shared while he slowly rutted into you was a one time thing. Mattheo Riddle didn’t do relationships. You were stupid to think you could change him.

The negligence didn’t go unnoticed by him. It was weird not having you next to him during class, whispering to you to meet him in the broom closet for your next period. It was even weirder you not eating lunch with him in the Great Hall.

Something must have happened in between yesterday and this morning, but he couldn’t pinpoint anything specific.

Mattheo’s mind only wandered. At some point you would get sick of the ‘no feelings’ agreement that you had made, he just didn’t expect it to be so soon. In another universe you would already be his, hands clasped together as he walked you to class. Instead he was subjected to the shit-storm of worries that clouded his brain.

Out of anyone he’s ever been friends with, you were the only one who could get him to smile when he felt like the world was against him. He wouldn’t be caught dead admitting it, but you really were melting the ice around his heart, and he was subconsciously sabotaging himself every step of the way.

He didn’t deserve to be happy. Why should he, when he’s caused so much pain?

The day dragged on without a word from you, and Mattheo was growing antsy. His former angry demeanor was back. Every word from Draco’s mouth set him off, and he snapped at Theo more times than he can count on both hands.

“What happened? Your girlfriend break up with you or something?” muttered Theo at dinner. This only pissed Mattheo off even more.

“She’s not my fucking girlfriend and she never will be.”

He couldn’t help it. The only way to protect himself from embarrassment and rejection was by becoming a defensive shell of a human. He didn’t like yelling at his friend, but he felt pushed to the limit. It didn’t help that his thoughts were a constant jumbled mess, the confusion of what he felt for you and the fear of abandonment melting into a cocoon of pure anxiety.

He wanted to shout some more, tell Theo how wrong he was, but that was when he smelled it. The familiar rosy scent of your perfume and shampoo.

Your footsteps halted at the venom in Mattheo’s voice. Never in the three weeks that you’ve been seeing him have you heard him speak with such disgust. It was almost like he was spitting out the words, trying to get rid of them as fast as he could - he would never see you as anything other than a fuck buddy. This, what you were to him now, was all you will ever be.

What made it all the more embarrassing was that half the dinner hall heard him. Being one of the most popular guys at your college, everybody already knew you two were hooking up, which meant they also knew that he was speaking about you in that moment.

Did he really hate you so much that he had to let the whole student body know?

Mattheo just have seen the horrified looks on his friends faces, because he turned around in the blink of an eye, his gaze landing on you automatically. You were gorgeous. The books you held were covered by your soft hands, the rings that adorned them remind him of how he held your hand while his head was in between your legs, the cold metal pressing into his palm. Your hair that was pushed back by a hairband bringing him back to last night when it was splayed around you like a halo, framing your face like the angel you were. He was almost happy to see you, if it wasn’t for the way your lower lip trembled before you turned away and sped out of the hall.

In his mind, he was running after you and coming up with the best apology he could muster. In reality, though, his feet were glued to the ground, his mouth hung open in shock as he mentally reprimanded himself for letting his fears get the best of him. He was an idiot, really.

If he didn’t fix this soon, he would lose the only thing that made him happy. If he just gave himself over to you, and was honest about his growing feelings for you, maybe you could forgive him.

Instead he let his friends berate him at the table. He let the judgmental eyes of his peers burn into his skill. After all, it was what he deserved for fucking everything up; for losing the one good thing he had left in his miserable life.

That night you spent all your time in your dorm room, wishing that he would gain the courage to come find you.

He never did.

YOUR PHONE WAS bombarded by texts the next morning. Thankfully it was a weekend, so you could spend all day in your room uninterrupted if you so wished.

Switching your phone to silent mode, you dropped your head onto your pillow. Seeing Mattheo’s name pop up in your notifications only made your morning worse. He had some nerve to text you. He should be groveling and pleading for forgiveness, not shying away behind a screen like a coward.

Little did you know, Mattheo was in a similar position as you. His hand was gripping the mobile device to his chest, head pressing into the plush mattress below him.

It was in quiet moments like these that he felt the most vulnerable. When the silence of the room enveloped him, and his ears rang from the lack of sound, his mind drifted to images of you. A distinct memory of his was the first time he realized he couldn’t kick you to the curb like he had initially hoped - his heart clenched at the mere thought of seeing your adorable features shift into a somber, sad one. He hated the thought of seeing you teary eyed and upset, but in his attempt at protecting both his and your hearts, he only ended up saving his own ass and hurting you in the process.

Eyes staring at the ceiling, he sighed, hand rubbing down his face. He wasn’t surprised that you thought he didn’t care about you, but you didn’t know that he traced the words ‘I love you’ on your skin when you slept in his arms, your bare chest pressing against his own beating heart. He wished he could tell you with his mouth instead of only his fingertips.

Mattheo groaned, slapping a pillow over his face in an attempt to stop his racing thoughts.

If he could take back everything he said, he would. You meant more to him than he could understand, you were everything to him. During the many times you’ve spent in his dorm, your face pressed into his shoulder as you snored, he wished be could just open up and tell you what he truly felt for you. But the thought itself was daunting - he was barely able to admit it to himself that he was in love with you.

He shouldn’t have let this go on for as long as it did, it was inevitable that your intoxicating nature would pull him in and make him question everything. You were everything he’s ever wanted, how could he not love you?

Cringing at himself for the nth time that morning, he decided that enough was enough. He either needed to man up and confess or finally let you go to find your peace.

A knock sounded on your door twenty minutes later. You didn’t have to check to know who it was, but you figured that if he came, it was better that it was now rather than never. You opened the wooden door and your face was met with a disheveled looking Mattheo. Any other day you’d let him in in an instant, ready to ask him about his day before being pressed into the mattress, his fingers massaging that one spot that you could never seem to reach yourself.

“What do you want?” you asked, your tone making Mattheo flinch in embarrassment and shame. This was exactly what he wanted to avoid - but look at him now.

“I wanted - I needed to explain myself.”

You shook your head. You didn’t need his pity, nor his half-assed apologies. If that was truly how he felt, then so be it. You could eventually learn to live with it. “You made yourself pretty clear. Quite publicly, I might add.”

Mattheo gently forced himself inside, his broad stature a contrast to how small you felt in the moment. He closed the door behind him and you only stepped back, trying to create as much space as possible between you and him. If he got any closer you knew you would give in and let him take you into his arms, and most likely to your bed.

Why did you let yourself fall for his lies when everybody warned you against it?

“Please just hear me out,” he said, his hands clasping together in a silent plea. There was no doubt he wasn’t going to leave until he said what he needed to, so you gestured with your hand for him to continue.

“I shouldn’t have said what I said. I wasn’t thinking, I-“ he stopped to collect his thoughts. He wasn’t really sure where he was going with this, but he knew that he had to make up his mind now whether he was gonna take a step forward, or several steps back.

“Mattheo, it’s okay.”

Stopping in his tracks, he gave you a puzzled look. It’s okay? Surely he heard that wrong. The look in your eyes when you heard what came out of his mouth was something he wasn’t going to forget any time soon.

“Is it…?” Mattheo said, confused.

You took a step forward. One last time. You would let yourself be wrapped up in his arms, his lips touching all the right places just one last time. There was a big chance that this wasn’t going anywhere, and if the situationship was going to end, you wanted it to end on a good note.

“The only thing you’re committed to is getting me into bed,” you quoted, your voice lowering a few octaves as you reached to push some hair from his eyes. Mattheo’s breath hitched, and all the facts were linking together. He was a bigger idiot than he initially thought.

He wanted to say so much, to tell you that he didn’t mean anything he said, but his words got stuck in his throat at your gentle touch. You were always able to turn him into a puddle of mush with the smallest of movements.

“So take me to bed. I don’t need you to be someone you’re not - you don’t want me, and I don’t want you if you’re only just tolerating me. Maybe one day you can be the man I wish you could be, but today isn’t that day.”

All at once, he felt his world crashing down. Pretty much all of his fears came true - he was going to lose you. Not only that, but he was going to lose because of something that he did, something that he couldn’t change. He was right. Mattheo wasn’t the man you needed, and your clarification only solidified his deepest, darkest abandonment issues.

“Okay,” was all he could get out.

That morning seemed never-ending. Mattheo laid between your thighs for what felt like hours, pouring all of his love for you in the way he moved his lips against you, in the way he left reminders of himself in the shape of purple bruises. Everything he so badly wanted to say was disguised by the swirls of his tongue and slow thrusts of his hips. He planted a million sweet kisses to your cheeks and neck, and if you weren’t so in your own head, you probably would have seen the pained look in his eyes as you fell asleep next to him. For one last time.

Mattheo left shortly after, picking up any remnants of him from your room, and when you woke up, it was almost as if he was never there.

A part of you was disappointed that he didn’t stay. Another part was glad - because it meant that you were right in telling him what you did. You were never enough to make him change his ways, and him leaving before you awoke made the pain easier to handle.

Unbeknownst to you, there was a crumpled piece of paper in Mattheo’s hands as he trudged back to his dorm room. A piece of paper that would never see the light of day.

With his head in his hands, and your head on your tear-stained pillow, you both had an uneasy sleep later that night.

One more time, Mattheo let himself get carried away with flimsy feelings of love and affection. And if he had it his way, this would hopefully be the last, too.

©𝐜𝐫𝐯𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐝𝐠𝐟

#mattheo riddle angst #mattheo riddle #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo riddle fanfic #mattheo riddle scenarios #mattheo riddle headcanon #mattheo riddle imagine #mattheo riddle x you #mattheo riddle smut #slytherin boys x reader #slytherin boys imagine #slytherin boys #harry potter fanfic #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter angst #matheo riddle

148 notes · View notes

mediumgayitalian · 10 hours

Text

fic rec friday 17

hi!! welcome to fic rec friday. every week, i pick five fics i have bookmarked and rec them with a little review. check them out!

Drew Tanaka's True Love Connections by @buoyantsaturn

Will smiled. "I have an appointment next door with the, uh… Matchmaker lady?” He winced at his own awkwardness, trying to bite back the embarrassment he felt. “Well, actually my friend set it up for me, but-- Sorry, do you know anything about her? The matchmaker lady, not my friend, I mean. I’m just not sure what to expect, you know? I’ve never, uh, done something like this before.”

THIS WAS SO SICK I LOVED IT!!!!!! flowershop au with a twist oh yes ma’am. also im so pumped drew was in this every time i see her im like hello my love how are you

2. just desserts by @thegoldenappleofdiscord

It’s just a cupcake, Nico reminds himself. Surely that justifies breaking into the infirmary at the break of dawn. or: nico's love language is baking and will solace gets a lot of cake as a result.

end note hate me GIGGGGLIIING. also i am OBSESSED with this author but i haven’t read the solangelo book yet so i haven’t read a lot of her stuff and i’m DYING to. this was as sweet as nico's baking fr!! i'm writing less of a note on this fic (altho i love it) bc the WORDS i have to say about the next one,,,

3. caught in the river of tears that i cried by @thegoldenappleofdiscord*

In all honesty, it was really for the best that Will didn’t think about all the strange things that sometimes happened around him. After all, his mama had more than enough on her plate already. He was a good kid, and it was best everything stayed as it were. (Though admittedly, the flock of flesh-eating maniac pigeons, men with hooves, and the growing darkness in his veins might just make this a tiny bit more difficult than he anticipated) or: will can only push down a part of him for so long (will has plague powers, but he's known it from the very start.)

UPDATE WHEN UPDATE WHEN UPDATE WHEN REESE PLEASE 😭😭i am genuinely so obsessed with this fic and the WAY everything is woven together....like fear is a driving force!! you can feel it!! this is one of those starred fics fr bc it Changed the way i wrote and characterized will. he is fr a character who has been controlled by fear his Whole life actually. of the world and what it takes from him. of the Fates that do not care for your fragile love. of the things they are forced to do. of the precarity of life. and perhaps most intimately and ardently Himself, and the abilities he does not want to have, the life he does not want to live. the parts of himself that do not fit in the mold he has Built for himself and Forced himself into. and this fic shows that so so beautifully like this story is Woven.....i think about it literally all the time it's insane

4. a handful of almosts by @thegoldenappleofdiscord

He’d said it so easily: “Best friends don’t do that to each other, Will.” It had been a throwaway comment after Will decimated him in a card game, which was usually Nico’s forte. Following that had been a furious, “Besides, it’s war. Entirely luck-based. Winning this game doesn’t mean anything. Stop laughing – why the hell are you laughing?” He’d mostly been laughing because of Nico’s expression – eyebrows drawn tight, mouth twisted in an adorable scowl – but also because of the sudden elation pumped into him like helium. They were best friends – and maybe someone else would be hopeful for more, and maybe one day he'll pursue it (he did want it, had wanted it for a long time) but for now, he’s content where they are, sitting in Nico’s room and cursing at each other through a deck of cards. or: 5+1 of will solace being a pining loser

A HANDFUL OF ALMOSTS!!! WHAT!!! every once and a while u just hit a title that Hits u u know. like a handful of almosts. yeah. what a deeply poignant and tragic thing. how fitting for the pjoverse, a universe of people who are haunted by their almosts. god. and then to turn around and make this story FLUFFY?? MAKE IT THE CUTEST THING IN THE WORLD??? "will solace and his rose coloured glasses" REESE!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!

5. Damage Control by @nikkira

“I couldn’t save Lee. I couldn’t save Michael. I couldn’t save Silena.” “You saved Annabeth when she was stabbed, right? And Annabeth was kind of imperative to the whole saving the world effort. The people you save go on to do things and help people and save people. When you lose someone, you lose them. But when you save someone, you save a dozen more people.”

"i dream of the people i could not save. they're mad at me." oh i am UNWELL. ill i tell you. i read this line and had to sit down for a little while like actually. one thing about will solace is that he never stops punishing himself and no one got that like this fic nine years ago

thank you for joining me this friday!! happy reading!!

60 notes · View notes

restinslices · 2 days

Text

If Aegon ii Targaryen Was A Sub

I forgot I said I was gonna post this weeks ago so here it is. Also before we begin, I feel like I gotta say that I DO NOT condone some of the shit he did in the show. This is not that type of party. I just think he has pathetic looking eyes and I’m known to make men subs. Let’s all just be horny in peace Obviously MDNI

A very needy whiny whore

Needs attention and validation constantly

Will actually start buggin’ if you're giving someone else attention

And when I say “needy” I really mean that shit

He's constantly tryna convince you to sneak away with him for a quickie. And if you're alone together? He definitely wants to fuck

He's extremely needy and badly wants approval and appreciation but he's also such a fucking brat

This man is a spoiled ass Prince. Are we surprised?

He's bratty in the sense that he likes pushing buttons but also in the sense that he just sometimes doesn't feel like listening to you

Behavior that you'll have to make sure to correct

Now when I mention anal you may wanna say “oh but I have female anatomy”. To that, I say “pegging”

Now you may wanna say “strapons don't exist in this universe” and to that I say “they have literal DRAGONS. Use your imagination and pretend they've been invented”

Now let's continue

Idk why I feel this way but I can see him enjoying sex from behind. Especially while getting his hair pulled

Also has a thing for titty sucking

Sucks on you while you ride him

Or if he's bored

Kinks and/or fetishes I can see him having are anal, barebacking, biting, breath play, dacryphilia, face fucking, free use, fingering (possibly fisting too), impact play, loud sex, name calling (whatever you wanna go by), orgasm control, orgies, praise, rough sex, and probably some other shit

I just feel like he can easily be talked into anything. As long as he's getting pleased

Enjoys the risk of possibly getting caught

Turns him on even more if he's the one getting fucked

Possibly getting caught fucking you is one thing but possibly getting caught getting treated like a whore? He'll cum from the thought alone

Loves being told how slutty he looks

If you can fill his ass with cum, do it!

Also enjoys being eaten out

He'll reach around to grab your hair and push his ass against you so your tongue goes deeper

I can see him having a bit of toxic masculinity so you calling his ass a “pussy” or “cunt” will irritate him

But in the same breath it makes him extremely hard

His eyes are expressive so it's easy to tell when he's horny

I don't see him denying it either

Despises dry humping so it's a good punishment

He's just way too impatient for it

Other punishments for him could be orgasm denial, edging or refusing to touch him at all. Not just sexually. Like, refusing to kiss him

Or telling him he can't pleasure himself could be a punishment

Cock warming probably isn't his favorite either. Like I said, he's impatient. He immediately wants to fuck

Has a fantasy of being fucked at a pleasure house while other people watch

Also has a fantasy of having his mouth full of cum and it leaking out while he's being fucked

Someone remind me to write these out

I know I've said a bath for aftercare with other characters but like,,, who doesn't love a good bath?

Quick afterthoughts

He's definitely vocal. I just don't see him being quiet

Doesn't mind getting woken up with sex

Cannot fully express how much he loves dirty talk

72 notes · View notes

im-sleepdeprived · 3 days

Text

Seasonal • Pt. 1

pairing: peter parker x reader

a/n: ahhhhh here is the long awaited ‘Peter’ inspired fic !!! (i changed the name obvs but you’ll get why i chose this one later) this is actually pretty slow (in my opinion, compared to what’s to come duh) but its cute and I really enjoyed writing it, i hope you guys enjoy reading. also TOTALLY feel free to tell me what you think and what you might like to see !! i always love some feedback

warnings: awkward teens lmfao (they’re such cutie pies), there’s some mention of injuries, but dw I made it funny, mostly building up for what’s to come later, fluff (for now lol) !!

masterlist, requests are open !!

There were few certainties in life. Tuesday followed Monday, Five plus five equals ten, and you had no shot in hell with Peter Parker.

You’d known each other for most of your lives, going to the same schools, and growing up in the same neighborhoods, until eventually, sometime around the start of freshman year, he and his Aunt moved into your apartment building.

You still remembered the excitement your little teen self had felt as you’d watched them move their things in. You remembered thinking his aunt looked like the sweetest woman in the world. And Peter…well he looked like the sweetestboy in your world. The boy of your dreams.

Dreams you always kept to yourself of course.

Dreams that suddenly, didn’t feel so far away, and for once in your life you felt like maybe, just maybe, you had the tiniest shot at having something with him. Something real.

It all started one day after school.

You’d had a long day. Longer than usual.

Classes had been tough with exams coming up and you were stressed out from all the notes you had to make sure you had, to the homework that needed to be done, to the piles upon piles of books you needed to read, study, and memorize parts of. It was a lot.

So, naturally, you weren’t really aware of your surroundings as you were walking home that evening. You’d been cramming in the library and you hadn’t realized how late it had gotten, but of course, that didn’t stop you from continuing your studying on the way home. With a book in hand, you made your way through the streets.

Of course, it was New York. So, of course, that wouldn’t fly. Faster than you could blink, someone had grabbed your bag and was running off. you stood there, mouth gaping. Fuck, your keys were in there and your parents weren’t home. How the hell were you going to-

“Here you go ma’am, sorry about him, he has daddy issues,” Spider-Man said to you with a wave of his hands. Spider-Man. You didn’t reply at first.

“Y’know, you should be more of your surroundings,” he said gently this time. “Maybe put the book away for now? I don’t know, just a suggestion.” He absentmindedly rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged slightly.

You’d know that voice anywhere. It was the voice you daydreamed about, the voice you heard across the hall, the voice you’d been hearing basically all your life. But that action, that little quirk, confirmed everything you were just thinking.

“Peter?”

“WHAT?” The white eyes of his mask were blown wide. “No. Nuh-uh, I don’t even know anyone named Peter. Sounds like a douchey name if you ask me.”

You would’ve laughed if you weren’t so shocked. “Peter I know what you sound like,” your voice was soft so no one around you could hear. It was late and this particular street was pretty deserted but you figured you couldn’t be too careful.

He was quiet for a moment before sighing and bringing both hands to rub at the face of his mask. He grumbled. “Ok fine, it is me. But Y/N you can’t tell anyone, I mean anyone, okay? Otherwise, this whole thing is ruined.”

You felt a pang in your chest. You knew you weren’t the best of friends or anything, but you’d known each other for a long time and you thought there was a certain respect that came with that. Of course you weren’t going to go around yelling out his secret.

“I would never do that. Actually, I’m sorry I said anything, that was stupid. We can forget this ever happened. Thanks for the bag,” you held it up for emphasis, “I needed my keys.” You moved to walk past him but he grabbed your shoulder.

“Wait, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to totally freak out on you it’s just…no one knows about this. And I don’t want them to know. It would complicate things.”

“Things like what? Like running around in a bright onesie and calling yourself a man when you’re barely a teenager?” You replied in a teasing tone, hoping he wouldn’t feel as bad that you figured him out so quick.

He laughed. “Among other things, yeah. What book are you reading anyway?” He asked, nodding to the book you still held in your hand and you wondered if he was trying to change the subject.

You figured you’d let him. Holding up the book, you replied, “‘Biology: A Self-Teaching Guide’,” you smiled sarcastically. “It’s self-teaching because Mr. Harrington is shit at his job!”

Peter cackled. “I know exactly what you mean. You know, the other day he spent the last thirty minutes of class checking his fantasy football? Class is forty-five minutes!”

You shook your head, smiling slightly. “I wonder how he still has his job,” you mused.

“Oh, that’s easy, no one is reporting him because no one minds. He lets every do as they please so they all love him.”

“True.” You laughed. Some time since you’d started talking, you’d both started walking towards your building.

“Are you walking me home now?” You held your breath. Obviously, he had every right to just swing away right then but…you hoped he didn’t.

“Well you obviously can’t be trusted to walk alone, honestly I really think that if I left right now, you’d open that book back up and walk into a lamppost.”

You threw your head back laughing. “Okay,” you held up both your hands in surrender, “fair enough.”

And while you’ve both known each other for a long time, you truly think that this walk was when you really clicked with Peter. He was funny, he was smart, and he was obviously the most selfless person you knew if he spent all his free time ridding New York’s streets of criminals without anyone giving him credit.

When you reached your apartment building, you wished you hadn’t. You could’ve spent all night talking to him and youwere scared that once you walked through those doors things would go back to polite smiles and quiet ‘heys’. You didn’t want that.

“Hey…if that ever happens again, and I’ll do my best to make sure it doesn’t,” he gestured to his suit, “but if it does and you lose your keys or something, you can always hang out at mine. If you want to of course.”

“You wanna hang out?” You asked confused

He seemed to have taken it the wrong way. “Oh! I didn’t mean to sound weird, I was just thinking-”

“Yes!” You blurted out, your face heating up. “I mean, yeah hanging out sounds cool. Maybe even…if I still have my keys?”

“Yeah, yeah that sounds great. Obviously I didn’t mean you had to be locked out to hang out but yeah…” He scratched the back of his neck again and you imagined his cheeks flaming up just like yours under his mask.

“Cool,” you nodded.

“Cool,” he nodded back.

You two stared at each other for a while.

“Well, I should…” You jutted your thumb at the door as your voice trailed off. At least he wanted to see you again. That meant something, right?

“Right. Yeah, of course. See ya later Y/N.” He waved and you returned it.

“See you later Peter,” your hand flew up to your mouth. “Shit. Sorry, um, I’ll see you- I mean bye Spider-Man.” Idiot.

You rushed to through the door, leaving a smiling Peter in your wake.

You were psyched Peter wanted to hang out with you on more casual terms. It was all you’d dreamed of for as long as you could remember. You’re little crush on him dated back further than you could really remember, but you knew it started sometime back in kindergarten. So you were rightfully excited that things were finally progressing, you just weren’t expecting it to happen so soon.

Later that day you were sitting in your room when suddenly you heard a tap on your window. Peter, fully decked out in his Spider-Man suit, was perched on your fire escape.

Your brows furrowed but you rushed over to let him in. “Um, hey? What’s up?”

“Oh nothing much, same old same old. You?” He said casually as if you’d known each other your whole lives. Well, you kinda had. But still.

You stared at him a bit before you heard a dripping noise. At first you thought it was rain. And then you realized it wasn’t raining, nor had it rained at all recently. You looked down to see blood dripping. From Peter. Blood was dripping from Peter onto your fire escape. Shit.

“It’s okay. It’s not that bad honestly.” He said lightly, but you noticed the slight edge to his voice. It definitely was that bad.

You wanted to freak out. You wanted to tell him to go to a hospital so he could get proper treatment but you had a feeling he wouldn’t listen.

“Peter,” you said, your voice soft but urgent. “What are you doing here?”

“You’re the only one who knows. I wanted to see a familiar face right now and if I went to see anyone else it would take too much explaining,” he shuffled around on your fire escape, wincing as he did so. He finally settled, leaning his backagainst the railing and laying his feet in front of him. He ripped off his mask, “I’m sorry Y/N, I don’t wanna freak you out. This was just the first place I thought of and-”

“No no no. It’s okay! Better than you passing out in some alley somewhere.”

“Exactly, you get it!”

You side-eyed him. “Y’know, I think you’re too enthusiastic for someone who looks like they had sex with a cheese grater.”

He chuckled. “Funny. You’re real funny, you know that. Sex with a cheese grater,” he mumbled, leaning his head back. He chuckled again. “That’s hilarious.”

“Okay….alright just…..” You worried your hands. You had less than no clue what to do. But you had to figure out something. Soon. Otherwise, you’d have a dead teenage boy on your fire escape and you really didn’t know how you would explain that to your parents, and you didn’t want to figure it out.

You held up your hands. “Wait here and I’ll be right back.”

“I can’t imagine where I might go right now, but alright.” You heard him mumble under his breath, his head lolling to one side. You would’ve sasses him right back if you were so worried. You had to admit, it was admirable how he still managed to cling to his humor even when he was so hurt.

You ran to the shared bathroom in your apartment, making sure to keep quiet so as not to wake anyone. Things were already hard enough.

You grabbed an old first aid kit (you’d always thought it was stupid and unnecessary to carry around but here it was, saving your ass) before making your way back to your room. You closed the door and locked it for good measure before crawling out of your window and sitting on your knees beside him.

“Ok. I’m gonna need you to help me though, do you think you could do that?”

He nodded softly and you got to work. It was nerve-racking but you got through it. Peter helped a lot, explaining what needed mending, and what would be fine being left alone. “I heal faster.” He’d explained to you and you had no choice but to believe him.

When you’d finished you went to the kitchen and poured both of you cups of lemonade. “You should probably be drinking water or tea or something but oh well.” You shrugged as you stepped out of your window again, handing him the cup and settling on the other side of the fire escape.

“I prefer this.” He said as he took the cup from you. “Thanks.”

“No thank you,” you said in a serious voice. “For serving this city.” You placed your now empty hand on your heart and bowed your head in respect.

“Shut up,” he said, but he was laughing. You laughed as well. “So how did the whole Spider-Man thing start? Last I remember you were just little Petey in the robotics club.”

“Still in the robotics club, but somewhere in the midst of that I got bit by a radioactive spider.” He went off, telling you the whole story and you listened with both ears, tuned into his every word. It was crazy to you that the boy across the hall, the boy you’d known since you were children, had been through all of this. Alone. Your heart broke a little for him at that moment and you were glad he finally had someone he could talk to about this, even if it was just you.

“Wow.” You shook your head in disbelief after he’d finished. “Not really sure where you got the whole ‘I need to put on a suit and get out there!’ attitude after being bedridden from a spider bite for a whole day, but good for you!”

He let out a loud laugh. “Alright Ace, enough about me. Tell me something about you.”

“Ace?” You asked with a furrow in your brows.

He shook his head smiling, “Think it suits you, don’t you?”

Your face lit on fire. You looked down at your hands, “Um, well there’s not really much. What do you wanna know?”

“Anything. What are you interested in, something you’ve never told anyone?”

You peered over the fire escape railing and looked up at the sky. “Stars.”

“Stars?” He asked.

You nodded. “Stars. Constellations. They all have stories, they’re named after certain things. People used to use them as guides when they traveled! But it’s stupid, I mean,” you scoffed, “we live in New York. There’s no regular stars here, let alone constellations.”

He stared at you for a while and you stared feeling nervous. He probably thought you were weird for bringing that up, how fucking random to just start going off about stars, normals people are interested in sports, art—

He started nodding, “Tell you what, when I’m healed, which won't be long, we’re gonna go see some stars.”

Your brows furrowed together. “What?”

He chuckled at your expression, all he could think was how cute he thought you looked. “Yeah, you heard me. We’re gonna go see some stars. Consider it a thank you for helping me today.”

Your cheeks flushed. “You don’t need to thank me for anything Pete, I’d help you no matter what.”

Now it was his turn to flush. “Thank you,” he said in a sincere voice. “But fine. Just think of it as two friends stargazing together.” He grinned.

Friends. That sounded nice. “Wait I didn’t know you could drive?”

He grinned even wider before standing up. You followed his lead, making sure he didn’t hurt himself in any way. “Thanks for everything Ace, but I think that’s enough for now.”

He moved to jump off the balcony but you stopped him, “Wait! At least use the front door, everyone’s asleep.”

He slipped his mask back on and quickly shook his head, “Thanks but May’s asleep and I don’t wanna risk it.”

You nodded. “Right. Well bye then, and if you need anything Peter, you know where to find me.”

“Ditto,” he said, moving to stand on the railing of your fire escape. He gave you a two-finger salute. “G’night Ace.”

“Goodnight Pete-” your hands flew up to your mouth and you had to hold back a scream as you watched him completelyfall backward off your fire escape. “What the fuck!” You whisper-shouted, moving to the railing just in time to see him swinging away.

“Son of a bitch,” you whispered softly and you could’ve sworn you heard him laugh.

“Peter there’s no way I’m doing that.”

“C’mon Ace, I do it all the time!”

“That’s not the same and you know it! Have you ever tried swinging around the whole city with someone else?”

He went quiet for a moment. “Well, not around the whole city per se, but…I’ve swung while holding someone!”

“How long?” You deadpanned.

He looked down and mumbled something incoherent.

“How. Long.” You repeated.

“Like, around the block maybe?” He looked at you sheepishly.

You scoffed, “Peter fucking Parker I can’t believe you're trying to get me to agree to letting you drop me from thousands of feet in the air!”

“Hey come on! If I wanted to kill you I wouldn’t ask for permission, I would just do it.”

You narrow your eyes at him and he raises both his hands. It’d been a week since the night on your fire escape and Peter was fully healed. He really did heal faster than average because when you’d asked him to see the wound, it had been completely gone. Not even a scar was left.

“Y’know, if you wanted me to take my shirt off Ace, you could’ve just asked.” He’d said with a boyish smirk.

“You fucking wish dipshit.” You had shoved him away but you couldn’t help the little smile working its way onto your face.

You’d spent time together after that night, walking to school together, Peter popping by after patrol if you were still awake to just hang out for a bit. It was great. Until now.

Peter had decided it was time for him to make good on his promise to take you to see the stars and you were refusing.

“Please Ace, let me do this.” He gave you a little pout making you bite your lip in consideration. He tried not to smile, he was winning and he knew it.

Silence. And then, “Where are we even going?” Bingo.

He didn’t try to hide his grin now. “You’ll see. I know a place, it’s perfect for something like this.” He approached you and his voice turned sincere. “And I promise I won’t drop you, trust me, I know what I’m doing.”

“How can I trust you when you just told me the furthest you’ve ever swung with someone was a block,” you grumbled, but you didn’t push him away when he moved to hold you.

“Enough complaining,” he said as he wrapped an arm around your waist. “Arms around my neck Ace, hold tight.”

He suddenly pulled you in, clinging to you tighter than before and you had just started to think maybe this wasn’t so bad. But then he jumped. And you screamed.

Your stomach fell and you kept thinking you’d hit the pavement, he’d swing too low, or maybe he’d accidentally run into a building he hadn’t noticed. But when none of those things happened it actually became sort of…fun.

“I can’t believe I’m riding Spider-Man!” You screamed, thinking he wouldn’t hear you because of the wind but you were proven wrong when you heard him hollering with laughter.

You smiled as you clung to him. You should have trusted him at the start although there were times when he would dip lower than normal and if you didn’t know any better you would’ve thought he was doing it on purpose because every time he did, you clutched him even tighter.

Soon, the ruckus of the city seemed to die down and you could hear the thwip of his webs clearer than before. It wasn’t long after that you were landing on a tall hill making you wonder just how fast he could get around with those webs.

Peter set you down and you immediately missed being in his arms. But then you turned around.

“Oh my god,” you whispered. You could see the entire New York skyline and it was stunning. This city really was beautiful, it wasn’t for everyone, but it would always own a special place in your heart.

You heard Peter chuckle beside you before he placed his hands on your shoulders. “I know, but that’s not what we’re here for Ace.” He pulled you a bit, making your head lean back. And then you understood.

“Oh my god,” you said, louder than before. The stars were glittering above you both, the sky like a sparkling black fabric shielding you both. “They’re real!”

Peter laughed again. “I know right?”

You looked back at him. “Peter this is….I don’t even have words for how amazing this is. This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.”

His heart melted at that moment. He gave you a smile so soft it reminded you of fluffy clouds and soft ice cream on a hot summer day. “You like it?” He asked almost as if he wasn’t expecting you to.

You looked at him in disbelief. “Do I like it? Of course, I do! It's beautiful! How’d you find this place anyway?”

He shrugged, “Oh y’know, just found it while I was swinging along one day. But hey,” he said quickly, making you question if that was how he actually found this place. “Look I set up a place for us.”

You decided not to question him any further and you let him lead you through a few overgrown bushes until you reached a small clearing. There lay a small picnic blanket with snacks and drinks set up.

You look back at him. “Are you for real right now?”

His mouth falls open. “I’m sorry! I—I didn’t mean-”

You pulled him into a hug. “Thank you so much, Peter. I mean…wow, I just…wow.”

He held you even tighter. “You don’t need to thank me, honestly I’ve been waiting for forever to go on a date with you soreally thank you for even being here-”

You went slack in his arms and Peter had never wanted to beat himself up more than he did in that moment. You pulled away and looked up at him with questioning eyes, “Date?”

Peter blanched, you never knew someone could look so pale, yet be blushing so much at the same time. He was gaping like a fish, his mouth kept opening and closing as if words were supposed to be coming out, they just weren’t reaching your ears.

“Because,” you continued, deciding you needed to step up and help him out a little, “a date sounds good. Really good. I’d just like to be aware of the fact that I’m on one.”

He looked at you with wide eyes. “Are you—are you sure? Cause I can just shut up and we can totally pretend that never happened.”

You laughed and shook your head. “I’m sure. If you are, of course.”

“Yes! I mean—” He scratched the back of his neck and sighed. “I’m sorry I just made this really weird didn’t I?”

You laughed again and gently placed your hands on his shoulder, making sure to look him dead in the eyes. “Peter,” you made sure he was listening. “S’not weird. At least, I don’t think it is. Okay, so we’re on a date! Love that for us. The onlything I would’ve changed is my outfit.” You looked down and pouted. “First time I’ve gone out with someone in my pajamas.”

“Well, I love it. I think you look beautiful.” He grinned. He seemed to have relaxed a little after your reassurances.

You looked down to hide the blush forming on your cheeks. “Yeah yeah, save the flattery for the second date.”

“Will do.” He laughed and grabbed your hand. He led you to the picnic blanket and moved some things around. You realized he must’ve come here earlier to get things ready and your heart warmed at the thought.

Peter set out the snacks and drinks and the two of

“Here lay down,” he said to you after he’d cleared things out of your way.

“God Parker, at least buy me dinner first.” You rolled your eyes dramatically but obeyed and laid flat on your back.

“What do you think all that was?” He shot back with a grin.

You shrugged as you settled yourself on the blanket and he moved to lay next to you. “More of a midnight snack.”

He laughed, “Noted.”

You turned your head towards him and nudged him a little with your elbow, getting him to look back. “So…what are we doing.”

He laughed again. “We’re stargazing Ace, that was kinda the whole point.”

“Oh, right, right.” You nodded and went quiet.

“What’re you thinking?” He asked.

“Star stuff.”

“What do you mean ‘star stuff’?” He asked, voice full of poorly concealed laughter.

“Like the fact that I don’t know shit about stars.” You admitted.

He chuckled beside you before bringing his head right beside yours. “Okay see that really bright star with a bunch ofother stars crowding around it?” He pointed until you got it.

When you nodded he said, “What does that tell you?”

“That it’s an extrovert?” You leaned back to look at him.

“No,” he shook his head smiling. “That’s Rigel. It’s a blue supergiant star in the constellation of Orion. And actually,” he shuffled a little closer. “See those three big stars all next to each other?”

You nodded, forgetting all the jokes and focusing on everything he was saying.

“That’s Orion's belt,” he continued. “Each of those three stars is actually way bigger, and brighter than the sun.”

“Woah,” you looked at him wide-eyed. “Where’d you learn all this?”

“Oh y’know,” he waved a hand casually.

You gaped. You propped yourself up on your elbows so you could look at him. “I absolutely do not know. First, I thought you were just Peter Parker. Then, I find out you’re also Spider-Man. And then, I find out you’re Peter Parker, Spider-Man, and also, extremely well-informed on star stuff!”

He laughed, There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me yet Ace.”

You nodded softly. “That’s true. We should change that.”

He looked deep into your eyes and you saw something like wonder in them. “Yeah?” He asked

“Mhm.” You poked him softly in the side. “Wanna know you, Peter Parker. All of you, from the dorky lego-obsessed-kid to the nerdy science genius who secretly fights crime.”

He grinned so wide and you swore it was brighter than any star in the galaxy. You were completely content with this being your view for the rest of the night. “Alright, come here,” he tugged you down making you squeal as he held you in his arms.

“Hey, eyes on the sky Ace,” he said when he caught you staring.

You blushed and rolled your eyes, “Fine, whatever. I don’t wanna look at you anyway.” The complete opposite of what you were just thinking.

He smirked as if he knew too. “Sure thing babe. Now let me dazzle you with more star stuff.”

The ‘ride’ (if you could even call it that) back to your place was quiet and peaceful, and a part of you thought it was a tad bit longer than the way there

Peter landed softly on your fire escape but he didn’t let go of you just yet and you weren’t in a hurry to end the night.

“So…we’re here.” Said Peter, his voice a bit muffled from the mask. You nodded and reached up, carefully working it off his head.

“Thank you,” you said, hoping your voice conveyed the sincerity you felt. Everything about tonight was perfect and you hoped he felt the same.

He smiled softly. “You already said that.”

You nodded. “Maybe. But it doesn’t hurt to say it again. I had an amazing time Peter.”

“Even though you were in your pajamas and you didn’t know it was a date? Well, not at first.” He gave you a questioning look, almost looking unsure.

You grinned, “Especially because of those things. I don’t know,” you shrugged, “thinks it makes us unique.”

“And if wanted to do something that’s not so unique for the end of a first date?” He gulped. “Figured I kinda owed you something basic about tonight…unless you don’t want to?”

“Peter Parker, are you asking if you can kiss me?” You smiled up at him and he blushed all the way down to his neck. He mumbled something you couldn’t make out.

“I’m sorry what was that?” You turned your head and leaned in dramatically and you heard him sigh. “Isaidifthatsokaywithyou.” He rushed out.

You pulled away and stared up at him. “That’s more than okay with me actually.”

He didn’t waste a second. His hands that were resting lightly on your waist gripped you tighter and you grabbed his face, his mask that was in your hand falling to the floor. He captured your lips in an urgent kiss but it was somehow soft at the same time. It felt as if he’d just been waiting to get this chance and now he was savoring it and trying to memorize every part.

You both pulled away breathlessly. His face was flushed and he looked so cute you had to lean in and give him a few softer pecks. He grinned so wide that you started to laugh. “Why’d you stop?” He asked.

You laughed harder. “I can't kiss you when you're smiling so hard!”

“Ok ok fine I’ll stop!” He tried to keep a straight face but it didn’t last for 5 seconds before he was grinning again. He rubbed a hand over his face while you giggled at him. “Sorry if I’m super psyched I got to kiss you, I mean look at you.”

That got you to stop laughing and you felt your face start to heat up. You leaned over and landed a big smooch on hischeek. Peter turned pink. “Okay see, that was really great Ace but I really wanna kiss you.”

You smiled, “Then kiss me, bug boy.”

He started to lean in but you pulled back at the last minute, “Hey wait. Did we take longer on the way back than we took going? Or was that just me?”

“Oh that,” he nodded. “Air traffic.”

You narrowed your eyes. “Air traffic?”

Peter cleared his throat, “Look I’m the designated driver, or swinger, I know what’s going on. You don’t need to worry about it Ace, I’ve got it covered. Now I need your lips covering mine, right now.”

“Fine whatever,” you rolled your eyes with affection and leaned in.

Things couldn’t be more perfect in your life.

After you and Peter had made things official, he’d invited you over a few times to spend time with May, and you’d asked the same of him with your parents. Of course, your parents knew who Peter was, and May definitely knew who you were (she’d told you as much and you started to wonder if Peter’s crush might date back almost as far as yours. There was a chance) but it was different now that you two were together.

“Is she gonna make you leave the door cracked?” You whispered as Peter led you by the hand through his apartment and to his bedroom. You two had just gotten back from school and you were going to work on your homework together. Homework which would mostly consist of the two of you making out on his bedroom floor.

He scoffed. “No. She trusts us.”

“Mhm,” you pondered. “And that has nothing to do with the fact that you asked her to stop embarrassing you when I’m over?” You entered the room and Peter closed the door behind you, but not before he gave you a look.

You shrugged and smirked a bit as you placed your bag on his floor and started pulling out your textbooks. “Did she say something to you?” He asked.

Your smirk turned into a full-blown grin. “Y’know I’m actually starting to think she likes me more than you.”

He rolled his eyes. “It’s started, amazing.”

“What’s started?”

“The two of you ganging up on me,” He grumbled which made you laugh out loud. You reached over and squished his face with one hand, your thumb on one cheek, and the rest of your fingers on the other. “You’re adorable when you’re grumpy.”

You felt him fighting off a smile under your fingers. “Adorable enough for a kiss?”

“You can always get a kiss from me, Petey.”

He gave you a serious look. “I’m gonna hold you to that.”

You returned his seriousness with a solemn look of your own. “I hope you do.”

Just as he started to lean in, the door to his room burst open, making you jump away so fast you fell on your back.

“Hey, kids!” You scrambled back up as May entered the room. “I just wanted to make sure you guys were…okay. Are you okay?”

Peter threw his hands up in exasperation, “May!”

She held her hands out and quickly said, “I’m sorry! Sorry, but I also wanted to tell you I’m going out and I won’t be here. So be responsible.”

He rolled his eyes. “We’re just going to do some homework.”

She nodded, “Yeah okay, and I totally believe you!” She started inching towards the door. Placing a hand on the frame shesaid, “Pete, remember our talk.” Peter went red. But before he could stop her she went on, “Use protection.”

She flew out the door, leaving you wide-eyed and Peter as red as a tomato. It was quiet between you two for a moment before you decided on what to say. “Soooo….your aunt definitely thinks we’re fucking.”

Peter looked mortified. “Ace I am so sorry-”

“No, it’s okay! Fair assumption, I mean, we are teenagers so it's kinda of what we’re known for right now. Plus, she’s only looking out for us.”

“You’re not mad?” He asked worriedly.

“Why would I be mad Pete? She was actually super chill about it, my parents would’ve dragged you out of the apartment.” He laughed but there was something else on your mind. “Can I ask you something though?”

“Anything,” he answered quickly.

You smiled, “Have you um—Have you ever…” You trailed off but you knew he understood what you were getting at.

‘OH! Well, no but yes?” You gave him a weird look. “So I mean like…I’ve done stuff but not all the stuff. Y’know?”

You nodded. “Have you…ever?” His voice was quiet as if he were afraid you’d shun him for even daring to ask.

“Not all the stuff,” you answered simply.

“Okay,” he looked down, unable to meet your eyes, and you weren’t quite sure what to say at the moment either.

“Do you think-” he still wasn’t looking at you as he tried to finish his sentence, “do you think we…we…Do you?”

“Yes. Probably.” That got him to look up.

“Really?”

“Well not right now obviously-”

“Oh of course not,” he cut you off quickly. “But like…eventually? Do you see yourself being with me like that? Trusting me enough?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Now it was your turn to avoid his gaze. “Do you? See yourself trusting me and…whatever.”

He laughed a little. “Yeah, I do.”

“Cool.” You nodded quickly and cleared your throat. “So I actually had a question about this science problem.” You held up one of the worksheets you were sent home with.

“Oh no, you’re not switching the subject that easily.” He gave you a knowing look.

“No,” you faked offense. “Can a girl not ask her genius boyfriend a science-related question?”

“No,” he said simply. “You still owe me a kiss.”

You rolled your eyes, “I think we’re forgetting what really matters here.”

“Me?” Peter suggested.

“Homework.”

Next thing you knew, he had tackled you and had you pinned you on the floor.

“Wait! No stop!” You yelled when you felt his hands creeping up your sides. You’d made the mistake of telling Peter you’re ticklish and boy had he been using it against you.

He grinned with triumph. He knew he’d won but that didn’t mean he wasn’t gonna milk it. “Are you gonna give me kisses?” He leaned over you, letting his nose brush yours as some of his longer curls fell onto your face.

“I really like these,” you whispered as your hand moved up to play with them. Your tone was more sincere now, completely forgetting the game you were playing and completely focusing on Peter’s hair. It was getting a little longer than usual and you adored it.

“Yeah? I’ve been meaning to get it cut but I haven’t had a chance. Between school and Spider-Man-”

“No! Don’t cut them please,” you begged, eyes suddenly wide in horror at the fact that he was even thinking of chopping off his beautiful curls.

“Really? Didn’t know you liked them that much.” He gave you a boyish grin.

“I treasure them as if they were my own,” you said sincerely making him shake with laughter. “So you wouldn’t even be cutting your hair Petey, you’d be cutting our hair.”

He laughed again, “Fine you win! I won’t be cutting it anytime soon, but I’m gonna need you to hold up on your kissespromise.”

“Yay! I love you!” You leaned up to kiss him where he hovered over you but he pulled away. You pouted slightly, howdare he give you such a hard time about kisses and then not accept them?!

“You love me?” He asked quietly. You froze. Why did you have to say that? Sure you two had been together for a while now and you’d known each other for even longer but…what if he didn’t feel the same? What if you had just ruined everything?

“Um…” You tried to move out from under him but he kept his arms locked around you. You were stuck, there was nothing to do other than talk. “Look Pete, I don’t want you to feel weird-”

“But do you love me?” He insisted.

You sighed and turned your head. You might not be able to get away but that didn’t mean you had to look him in the face while you embarrassed yourself. “Yes.”

“Good.” He leaned down until your noses were touching again, “Because I love you too.”

Your heart skipped a beat in your chest. “Really?”

He chuckled softly, “Think I’ve loved you for a lot longer than you’ve loved me, Ace.” He leaned down and closed the distance between you, finally getting that kiss he’d been after you for.

“Now do a pose!” Peter yelled over as he squinted through his camera.

You rolled your eyes, feeling shy all of a sudden. “Peter, we’re in public, can we please stop now?”

The two of you were taking an after-school stroll through Central Park. It was autumn now and the scenery was absolutely gorgeous and Peter had demanded to take pictures of you the whole time. School had started back up almost a week ago and already the two of you were facing the heat of your senior year.

“Oh come on,” he jogged back to you and threw an arm around your shoulder. “Gotta get used to me showing you off Ace,” he pressed kissed the side of your head. “This what it’s going to be like when we go to school together.”

“We already go to school together.” You smirked at him.

He rolled his eyes dramatically. “You know what I mean Ace,” he squeezed your shoulder softly. “I mean when we go to Columbia.”

You looked up at him with a smile so wide there was no way you could hide it. “I know,” you said softly. “I can’t wait.”

“Me either.” He smiled back.

The two of you had discussed schools and where you’d be going. You spent a lot of your time during summer going overthe pros and cons of different universities and settled on going to Columbia. Of course, you weren’t just going for each other, but that was definitely a perk.

It was perfect, really. Peter was planning on majoring in biophysics (a major you’d told him you thought was created just for him, two of his best subjects combined) and they had the perfect courses for that, not to mention their photography classes. He’d done a ton of research on them already. It was a hobby of his you’d learned about shortly after the two of you had gotten together, and you had to admit, he was really good. And he was only getting better.

And you were planning on majoring in Journalism, with a minor in English. You and Peter had a joke where he’d be making the groundbreaking scientific discoveries and you would be writing the award-winning articles about it.

“I know you’re gonna make me sound smart,” he’d said smugly. “And sexy.”

You’d laughed at him. “Peter, how am I supposed to make you sound sexy?”

“I don't know, but as an amazing writer, that’s for you to figure out Ace.”

“I’m not a journalist yet.”

He winked. “But you will be.”

You bit your lip at the memory. You had this small fear (or silly as Peter had put it when you’d voiced it to him) that you wouldn’t get into Columbia. You weren’t even worried about Peter, you were pretty sure he’d get into every school he’d enrolled in. The boy was a genius after all.

“Hey,” he said softly. He stopped walking, pulling you to a stop as well. Pulling his camera strap over his head, he stood in front of you and grabbed both of your hands. You looked down.

“Uh uh,” he shook his head and tsked as he moved one of his hands to hold your chin between the knuckle of his index finger and his thumb. “Look at me,” he said and gently pulled your head up. “I know what that look means.”

You shook your head a little. “Means nothing. What do you mean?”

He gave you a sad smile. “I don’t like when you think like that y’know. I don’t want you upsetting yourself.” You didn’t answer so he continued. “Fine. It’s just up to me to distract you then.” He pulled away to grab one of your hands, intertwine your fingers together, and start walking again. He started to swing them back and forth dramatically.

You giggled, which made him smile. His plan was already working. “Oh, by the way, I’m taking you out tonight.”

“What?” You asked. You didn’t remember making any plans for tonight.

He nodded. “Yeah, I’m gonna pick you up and we’re going to our spot. I was thinking around 10.” Your ‘spot’. The place where Peter had taken you on your first date, where you hadn’t known it was a date at first and had shown up in your pajamas. The two of you had kept going back since that initial night. Most of your summer nights (and sometimes early mornings and even afternoons) were spent up there, gazing at the stars, and talking about your futures. That place had grown to mean so much to the both of you and it held the sentiment of more than one of your firsts together.

“Are you sure you won’t be busy, y’know with Spider-Man or school or something?” You looked up at him questioningly. Of course, you wanted to spend time together but you didn’t want him worrying about cheering you up so much that he slacked on his own stuff.

He slapped a hand on his chest and feigned offense. “I’m sorry, what is this I’m hearing? You don’t wanna hang out with your boyfriend Ace?”

“No of course it’s not that,” you laughed and shoved him lightly. “I just don’t want you feeling like you need to spend time with me when you have so many other responsibilities.”

Peter laughed and shook his head. “No way. You can’t seriously think like that Ace.” He gave you a side-eye and sighed. “Maybe you really aren’t smart enough to get into Columbia.”

“Peter!” You shrieked and slapped his shoulder while he hunched over with laughter. You couldn’t help it, you joined him.

Once he’d calmed down he straightened himself back up and looked at you with such adoration in his eyes, you nearly melted. He grabbed one of your hands and brought the knuckles up to his lips. “You know I’m only joking Ace, you’redefinitely getting in. In fact, they’re probably getting your place ready as we speak.”

You threw your head back and laughed. “Pete I haven’t even applied.”

“Exactly! You’re so amazing, you don’t even have to apply, they totally want you.” He wiggled his brows suggestively making you snort. You shoved him forward to continue your walk. “Enough about school for now,” you looked at him. “You said we’re going out tonight?”

“Oh yeah,” he grinned at you and you saw the nerdy part of him he tends to be a little insecure about. You’d told him multiple times it was your favorite part. You absolutely loved it when he started ranting about something he loved. “So there’s some new-” He shook his head quickly. “Actually, I’ll keep it a surprise and tell you when we’re there.”

You gaped at him, about to demand he tell you right now what he was about to say but before you could get the words outhe was positioning you infant of a tree bursting with different shades of orange, red, and yellow. New York really was beautiful in the fall.

“I need some more pictures for my portfolio,” he said as he backed up a few steps. “Also, I’m loving today’s outfit.” He winked at you.

You looked down. You weren’t wearing anything special, just a sweater, a pair of soft, baggy jeans, and some Converse.You were pulling down your sleeves when you realized what he meant. It was his sweater. You grinned, “Fine. A few more, and then you’re done.” You waved a finger at him.

“Yeah, yeah.” He muttered and snapped a few pics. He pulled the camera away for a moment. “Stop looking so grumpy Ace, c’mere.” He walked toward you and grabbed your hand. He started leading you onto the grass which was completely blanketed in colored leaves. “I need you to lay down.”

“Okay, this is getting ridiculous.” You held your hands up.

“Wait, no. Hear me out, Ace. I need to share my artistic vision.” You rolled your eyes but that didn’t stop him. “I’m gonna have you lay down in the leaves, look how bright and pretty they are! You lay down, let your hair down and spread it out a bit, and smile!” He punctuated his sentence with his own smile.

You stared at him for a bit before grumbling, “You are so lucky I love you.” Sighing, you moved to lie on the ground in front of him while he grinned above you holding his camera eagerly. “Y’know the only reason I’m so okay with this isbecause this is your sweater.”

“S’alright,” he casually waved a hand as he checked something on his camera screen. “You can have it, it’s yours now.”

“What?”

“Well it’s been on the ground of Central Park, I sure as hell don’t want it.”

You burst into laughter. You didn’t even realize he was taking photos until you opened your eyes to see his camera lens in your face. After a few more clicks and him instructing you on some different poses, he leaned back and held out a hand. You ignored him and pushed yourself onto your feet, dusting off your clothes.

When you looked back at him, he was looking at you with a hurt expression and you almost felt bad for rejecting his hand. “You said you don’t want anything that’s been on the ground of Central Park.” You joked.

Next thing you knew he had you in a hug, holding you tight. “I’ll always want you, Ace.”

He pulled away, “No matter what dirty part of New York you just came out of.” He tried to kiss your cheek but you shoved him away.

“Absolutely not!” You yelled and started running away from him.

“Wait Ace, come back.” You could hear him behind you laughing, as he chased you. You knew logically, with his superpowers and all, he could absolutely outrun you if he felt like it. And it seemed like he felt like it.

After about a minute of chasing you, he started gaining speed. Next thing you knew, he had picked you up and he was dragging back to the ground with him.

“Peter let me go,” you tried to shove him away, but it was no use, the boy had an iron grip.

“No. We’re gonna be gross together.” He rolled around a bit in his spot for emphasis.

You laughed at him. “You are such a weirdo.”

He grinned at you and this time succeeded in kissing your cheek. “Maybe. But I’m your weirdo.”

You rolled your eyes. “Thank god for that, I don’t think anyone else could handle you.”

He kissed your lips this time. “I don’t want anyone to handle me. Just want you.”

“Good, 'cause you’re stuck with me.”

“So what’s the special thing you couldn’t tell me about until now?”

You were currently lying on your back, with Peter’s arm under your head as the both of you gazed at the sky.

“Well, it’s nothing crazy, but there’s a new star I wanted to show you.” He replied, which made your brows furrow in confusion. “New star?” You asked. “How the hell can there be a new star?” You gasped, “Oh my god did Orion knock a girl up?”

Peter laughed beside you, “No. No, okay so, there are these things called seasonal constellations.”

“Alright,” you nodded as if you had any idea what he was getting at. You had learned a lot about astronomy (or star stuffas you two had taken to calling it) since your first night here with Peter, but he still had some things on you.

“Basically, stars are always in the sky, right? But we can’t see them because of the Sun. If it weren’t for the Sun, everyone would be able to see all the stars, all the time. But because the Earth is always moving around the Sun, the Sun’s position on the celestial sphere changes.”

You give him a confused look and he laughs before explaining some more. “So the Sun is on one side of the sky during summer, okay? During that time certain stars are super vibrant at night. And then when it’s winter, it’s on the oppositeside of the sky, giving some other stars and constellations their time to shine, and during this time, you can’t see the summer constellations as much, or at all.”

“Oh, so the Sun is kind of their reverse-spotlight.” It was starting to click for you.

“Yeah exactly! The darker the sky is the more they shine.”

“Hmm,” you considered his words for a moment. “I dunno the Sun kinda sounds like an attention whore to me.” Peter laughed out loud but that didn’t stop you. “I’m serious! Who does she think she is? Stealing everyone’s spotlight but never dimming her own!”

“Ace we’ve talked about this, come on.” He gave you a pointed look and you huffed. “What did we say?”

“Personifying the stars does nothing but hurt my own feelings,” you grumbled.

“Because they don’t have any.” He finished for you.

“Whatever.” You shoved him softly but they only made him pull you in closer. “So tell me about this new star.”

“Alright so, do you see that?” He leaned his head closer to yours and pointed up toward a bright star you hadn’t reallynoticed before. When you nodded he continued. “That’s the brightest star in the constellation of Andromeda. Andromeda is an autumn constellation.”

“Wait I know that name, we learned about this story in English. She’s from that old Greek myth with Perseus and Poseidon.”

Peter nodded. “Her mom was bragging she was more gorgeous than the sea nymphs, who didn’t like that and snitched to Poseidon. When he got mad, her father asked Zeus for advice and Zeus said the only way to get Poseidon to back off would be to sacrifice his daughter.”

You finished. “And then Perseus saw her, immediately fell in love, slayed the beast, and saved her. Then they got married.” You made little jazz hands, “Hooray for happy endings.”

He laughed before saying, “Wait, wasn’t she engaged to her uncle?”

“Yup. Perseus killed him too.” Peter made a weird face which made you giggle. “All Greek myths are kinda…off like that.”

“That’s one way to put it,” he mumbled. “But yeah, that’s her constellation. And Perseus,” he shuffled around so he couldpoint to another cluster of stars. “He’s right over there.

“Is his a seasonal constellation too?”

“No,” he shook his head. “Perseus is an all-year-round constellation. You can see him whenever. There are certain timeshe shines a little brighter, but for the most part, he’s always there?”

“But she isn’t?” You asked, referring to Andromeda.

Peter shook his head again.

“Wow. All that and they don’t even get to spend their eternity together.” You said in a soft voice.

“What do you mean? I thought it was romantic?” Peter replied.

“It is, in it’s own way. I just mean, she’s only around for a few months every year. And look how far apart they are, to us it seems like nothing, but up there, they’re probably galaxies away from each other.”

“Okay,” he nodded beside you while he considered your words. “But think of it like this, she’s actually up there all year round, she’s only visible to us a few months a year.”

“That’s true.” You smiled. It was sweet of him when he listened to your little stories and added his own thoughts, not just brushing you off. Your little saying from before, however, he had made up and constantly reminded you of ever since one night went a little too far; Peter had told you that actually, not all the stars in the sky were alive, in fact, a lot of them were dead but we just didn’t know because their lights were still shining for us (cue a long conversation of him explaining light years and regular years and how they affect what we see in the sky). That had made you start sobbing, the first time you’d cried in front of him actually.

In his defense, Peter had handled it quite well. After his initial shock, he comforted you and tried to cheer you up by telling you to think of it as their final act, one last ‘look at me’ before they extinguished. That hadn’t really cheered you up but you had tried for him, after all, he couldn’t have known giant gas balls in the sky would hurt your feelings so much. You hadn’t known either.

“As for the distance between them,” he continued. “I’m sure they have something figured out, like a tin can telephone. Or FaceTime.”

You laughed and pushed out of his hold, maneuvering yourself so you were looking down on him.

“Hey Ace,” he whispered with a large smile on his face.

“Y’know something Peter Parker? I really really love you.”

His smile grew wider. “Yeah?”

You nodded, your face lit up with its own cheesy grin. “Yeah.”

“Tell me again.”

“I’ll tell you however many times you want.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

If only it were that easy.

‘seasonal’ taglist: @keira-kaz2y5

35 notes · View notes