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nanamikeento · 1 month

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im a mess (but im the mess that you wanted)

s.: you've been with nanami for few months, but he never stays the night. could he be lying to you? (or: the one where you find out about nanami's secret) (nanami kento x f!reader

w.c.: 5.6k (i got carried away srry)

t.: suggestive at the beginning, developing relationship, hurt/comfort, smut at the end! see spoiler tags on ao3

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

His lips trace your neck in gentle kisses, body still glued to yours, sweat glistening on his skin. The sheets on your bed are soaked, but you don’t mind as his body is on top of yours and he looks down at you with his beautiful brown eyes and smiles softly.

“You okay?” he asks, stroking his thumb on your cheek, looking into your eyes. You lean in and kiss him, the dizziness from your pleasure fading away.

“Yes,” you answer, smiling, “that was amazing, as always.”

Nanami laughs softly, a light shade of pink painting his cheekbones.

“Come on, let's clean up.”

It's been five months since you've been seeing your coworker, Kento Nanami.

It's easy to be with Nanami, you found out. He doesn't mind your unorganized self. He doesn't care if your makeup is smudged or if your hair is tangled. He even told you he liked it. Although you have to pretend nothing is happening between you and him at work, he often gives you rides back home at the end of the day. He invites you out often, and takes you to the fanciest restaurants in the city, usually at night.

“Will you stay the night?” You ask as he pulls you up by the wrists.

He looks at you and seems to think for a moment.

“I can't. Sorry.”

You can see his shoulders sag a little as your heart sinks.

“Okay.” You whisper and stand up, walking towards your bathroom. Then, he calls your name, making you turn around to face him. His brown eyes meet yours, almost taking your breath away.

Nanami opens his mouth, then closes it. It's clear that he's nervous, that he wants to say something, but he just sighs quietly.

“Are you okay?” He asks again.

A smile spreads across your lips, even though you want to cry. “Of course.”

You watch as he nods and then enters the bathroom.

He never stays the night. He never invites you to his apartment either. He never asks you out during the week, or on your days off.

I wouldn't be surprised if he had a wife.

The thought makes you gasp out loud, the sound covered by the water of the shower. But what if he had a wife and you're just his mistress? What if he had a family, someone waiting for him every night while he fucks you into oblivion in your bed?

You suddenly feel sick. You have to ask him, you have to know. It makes too much sense. It would explain why he never takes you to a picnic, or invites you to lunch.

When you leave the bathroom, hair up in a bun and a soft towel wrapped around you, you see that he changed the sheets and made your bed while you were in the shower. He's dressing his clothes in a hurry, phone in hand.

“You're not gonna shower?” you ask, watching as he hastily buttons his shirt.

“No, sorry. Something came up.” He says, looking up at you.

You look at the clock on your nightstand. It's two in the morning. What does he mean something came up? Your heart only sinks further. No words are exchanged while he finishes dressing and gives you a kiss, before leaving.

“I'll call you tomorrow, alright?” he says at your doorstep. Tomorrow is Saturday.

You nod, “Take care.”

After he leaves, you put on the massive t-shirt you call pajamas and hop into your bed.

It's only when you rest your head on the pillow, that the tears come.

…

He doesn't call you all weekend. And doesn't show up at work on Monday.

You resist the urge to text him. Part of you doesn't want him to be in trouble with his hypothetical wife, even though he's the one who's allegedly cheating. The thoughts drown you and you can’t focus on your work.

On Tuesday, he shows up looking like death. Dark, deep, bags are under his eyes and an exhausted look on his face. He doesn’t meet your eyes, not right away. It doesn’t soothe your anxieties when a coworker teases you about wearing mismatched shoes to work – your head was so jumbled in the morning that you didn’t realize you grabbed two similar shoes that belonged to different pairs – and he interrupts the interaction, telling them to go back to work.

Later, near your usual smoke break, you get a text message from him.

You okay?

Swallowing, you take a deep breath, trying to push away all doubts and questions, you type an answer:

Yeah. Meet me at the roof in 10?

Of course.

When you push the door to the roof open, he’s already there. The sunlight momentarily blinds you, a contrast to the artificial lights of the office. You walk towards him, hands shaking. He looks at you, once you’re near enough, and smiles, letting out a relieved breath. His hands reach for you, pulling into a tight embrace. It’s like he’s relieved to finally get a moment alone with you. It warms your heart and it makes you forget about your worries for a second.

“You didn’t call,” you say, wrapping your arm around his neck.

“I’m sorry.” He buries his face on your neck, inhaling your scent. The scent of your deodorant and something he can’t describe, but it smells like you , “Had a family emergency. This weekend was crazy.”

“Oh.”

A family emergency.

That could mean anything. Maybe his brother was in an accident, or his grandmother tripped and fell, or his cousin got sick, or… Or he has a family, and you’re just a secret. Just a way for Nanami to release his stress from work and then go back to the family waiting for him, lie in bed with the woman he actually loves.

Your eyes sting with unshed tears and you hear your own voice asking,

“Are you married?”

Nanami’s body tenses before he releases you, searching your eyes.

“What?”

“Are you married?” You repeat, vision going blurry now. When he doesn't respond, you continue, “I mean, you– you never stay the night,” great, now you’re sobbing, “and you never invite me to come over, and– and–” your eyes are like an open faucet, “and you didn’t call me on Sunday and didn’t come yesterday, so, please, if I’m just your mistress, please tell me.” You sob, wiping your nose with the sleeve of your cardigan, “Please.”

Kento cups your cheek and wipes your tears, looking into your eyes.

“I’m not married,” he responds and then pulls you in a hug, kissing your hair and tucking your head under his chin, “I’m sorry my actions made you believe I was.”

You sniffle, feeling stupid now, “Okay.”

After a brief pause, he speaks again, “Would you like to come over tonight? For dinner?”

You look at him, pulling away from his embrace, “Kento, I didn’t mean–”

“I know.” He interrupts you, “I still want you to come.”

Nanami’s eyes are warm and he doesn’t care that you’re a snotty mess right now. So you nod, looking away from his perfect face. He pinches your chin gently, bringing your gaze back to him and then presses his lips against yours. Your heart leaps.

He’s never kissed you in the office before. Well, technically, you’re outside, but he never showed a sign of affection like this out of fear someone would catch the both of you. Somehow, you’re not worried about that.

“Meet me at the garage floor when you clock out.”

…

“I’d like you to meet someone,” Nanami says, as you click your seatbelt off.

The ride to his apartment was filled with soft conversation, but when you entered the apartment complex garage, he spoke with a careful voice, as if he was afraid of your reaction.

“Oh?” You wonder what's this about, since he said he wasn't married.

He leads you to the elevator and presses the button to the second to last floor, placing a hand on your lower back. Your heart is hammering inside your chest, as you get closer to his apartment. Then he guides you to the door, inserting a key and opening it.

“Papa!” a flash of pink hair runs towards Kento and hugs his legs.

“You're home early– oh.” A second voice makes you look up from the little boy attached to Nanami.

A teenage boy with dark hair stares at you. Then, Nanami calls your name.

“This is Yuuji, my son,” he says, “and that's Choso, his brother.”

You don't know where to look. To the little boy in Kento’s arms, or to the grumpy teenager that's staring with suspicious eyes at you. Nanami then introduces you to the boys. Yuuji smiles politely, but you can tell he's a bit shy.

“Um… hi,” you say, looking at them.

Choso scoffs, “That explains a lot.”

“Choso–” Nanami starts but the boy just waves a hand at him.

“Yeah, I know. I have to go, though. Got too much homework to do and this little devil kept me busy.” He ruffles his brother's hair who giggles. Then he looks at you, “Nice to meet you. Your shoes are mismatched.”

You look down at your feet, even though you know you have different shoes.

“Choso.” Nanami sighs, “Be nice to your mother.”

The boy just waves a hand at him. You look back at Nanami and Yuuji.

“Do you want to come in?” He asks, smiling. Yuuji looks at you curiously, but still apprehensive, clinging to his dad's shirt and tilting his head until it rests on Nanami’s shoulder.

Oh, fuck.

You feel so stupid right now. He clearly has a family, but he doesn't have… a wife? Choso has a mother, so he’s only Nanami’s? Then why is he leaving?

Sensing your confusion, Nanami touches your arm. “I'll explain everything. Come inside.”

For some reason, you oblige. His apartment is big as you enter the foyer and observe the living room.

“You have to take your shoes off.” Yuuji’s voice stops you from taking another step into the apartment. You look at him, surprised.

“Of course,” you answer, toeing off your – mismatched – heels, revealing the chipped black nail polish on your toenails.

Should you have dressed better for this? Maybe if he told you beforehand…

No, this isn't fair on him. You're the one who cornered him and asked about his personal life.

“Are you feeling better?” Nanami's voice is soft as he talks to his son, walking inside the apartment. It hardly seems like the man who talks obscenities to you in bed.

Suddenly, you feel like an intruder. His home is clean, neat, save from a few toys on the living room floor. The open kitchen is pristine, it seems like the counters and stove were cleaned with one of those expensive products your mom used to use at home. The massive TV is turned on, on some children's program.

Panic sets in your throat. He has a son, a family. And you’ve… you've never wanted kids. You're not good with them, they don't smile at you when you talk to them, always hiding behind their parents. You're too serious, too stiff, for them.

Kento calls your name and you look up at him, blurry vision. He's got a concerned look on his face.

“Yuuji, why don't you go get your new shoes to show our guest?” He sets the kid down, who nods and runs to another room – his bedroom, you suppose. Kento approaches you, gently taking your hand and maintaining eye contact with you.

“I'm sorry,” he says, “I should've told you.”

“No, no!” You're quick to say, “I– I shouldn't have…”

“Asked?” he finishes the sentence for you, “Sweet girl, it’s perfectly understandable why you asked.”

Your heart skips a beat at the endearing name. He cups your cheek, pressing his lips on your forehead.

“Kento… I’m not good with kids…”

He smiles at you, “Don’t worry. You’ll find out that Yuuji is easy to impress.”

As if on cue, Yuuji runs back to the living room and ends up tripping on his own feet, falling to the ground. You gasp, expecting tears, but he just stands up and resumes his run to you.

“Look!” He stomps on the floor and his shoes light up, colorful lights blinking.

You raise your brows, actually impressed by them.

“Oh, wow. That's… actually kinda cool.”

Nanami smiles softly at you, even though you're not looking. You didn't force a baby voice, or crouched down to meet Yuuji's eyes, but the sincerity in your voice is real.

“What do you want to eat?” Kento asks you, carefully.

“Ramen!” Yuuji says, giving you a toothy grin.

Nanami snorts, scooping him up quickly. “I didn't ask you !”

Yuuji giggles loudly as his father holds him upside down, Nanami smiling at the sound. You've never seen him smile like that.

“Ramen is fine, actually,” you say and they stop, looking at you for a second before Kento puts Yuuji down.

“Go put your toys away, Yuuji.” He commands, voice soft and calm. Looking back at you, the man approaches, hesitantly takes your hands, and pulls you further inside the apartment, “He got sick on the weekend. I had Choso take care of him, but he got worse on Saturday night and we had to rush him to urgent care.”

You feel your eyes widening, eyeing the kid gathering his toys in the living room.

“His fever broke yesterday morning, but I decided to take the day off just to be sure.” Nanami continued.

“Oh.” If you felt stupid before, now you feel like an idiot. The guilt blooms inside your chest, making you swallow hard and look away. And, with a tiny voice, one you don’t expect him to hear, you say, “I’m such an idiot.”

To your surprise, he laughs softly, cupping your cheeks and kissing your eyebrow.

“You aren’t.” He pulls you in an embrace, “You couldn’t have known.”

“I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions, though.” Your voice is muffled against the fabric of his suit. Nanami’s fingers intertwine in your hair, so, so gently. So different from what you’ve experienced with him. The action makes a soft, fuzzy feeling jump inside you.

“It’s alright.” He then pulls away from you and smiles. “I would’ve too.”

You blink at him as he turns around and enters the open kitchen, leaving you to think about his words. If the situation was reversed, if you had a kid that the man you were hooking up with didn’t know about it, you’d be sure he wouldn’t bat an eyelash about it.

But you’re talking about Kento Nanami here.

The stoic, cold faced, man that is your coworker. The man who always focuses on the tasks that need to be done. The man that’s showing you he cares, that he’s soft, a totally different side of him, and, little by little, tearing down the walls around your heart, making you feel… special.

A little hand pulling on yours interrupts your train of thought and you look down to see Yuuji pulling you to the living room.

“Do you want to see my new toys?” He asks, already urging you to sit down in front of the coffee table.

“S-sure.” You look back at Nanami, but his back is turned to the living room.

There are a bunch of plastic toys scattered on the table: little trucks and cars, plastic bugs and dinosaurs and a few superhero figurines. He looks very proud of his collection, smiling and looking at your reaction as he shows you the things his dad and big brother gave to him.

Then, he hands you a toy phone. You reluctantly pick it up.

“Nanamis’ office, how can I help you?” You say into the fake phone, making Yuuji laugh, “oh, he’s not available right now, his schedule is pretty tight– Sir, please calm down, no need to yell.” Yuuji laughs more, but your face is so serious that Kento wonders how you do it, “Alright, sir, I’ll ask, just a moment.” You place a hand on the ‘receiver’ and look back at Yuuji, “Sorry, Yuuji, but Mark from sales wants to speak with you, do you have time?” he has a toothy grin plastered on his face. You resume your fake conversation, “Uh, he’s really busy, doing important things, you’ll have to call later. Would you like to leave a message?”

A deep laugh interrupts your play and you look up to see Kento smiling at you. Your cheeks burn as you put the fake phone down.

“You’re funny.” Yuuji says, leaning on your side. You look back at him.

“Thank you.”

Kento, then, places a sousplat on the coffee table, following with a bowl of ramen in front of you. He does the same for him and Yuuji, warning the boy about the temperature. The little boy sits between you and Kento, happily grabbing the spoon and scooping the warm liquid. You watch as he brings the spoon to Kento and waits for him to blow on the food.

Your heart does that funny thing again.

Deciding to ignore it, you take the spoon and bring the soup from the ramen to your lips. The high temperature burns your mouth, making you drop the spoon, clattering on the ceramic bowl.

“Shit” You mumble, bringing your hand to your lips.

“Shit!” Yuuji exclaims, with a toothy grin.

Widening your eyes and looking at him, then at Nanami, you feel your heart drop. You did not just teach a little kid to curse, did you?

“Shit!” The boy repeats. “Shit, shit, shit, shit!”

“Oh, no.” As your heart beats faster, Nanami smiles at you, laughing softly.

“Choso taught him how to curse last week.” He explains, reaching to the jar of water on the center of the table and pouring you a glass.

“Shit, fuck!” Yuuji continues.

Surprised, you let out a nervous laugh.

“Yuuji.” Nanami scolds, gently. “We have a guest tonight. Be polite.”

Yuuji giggles and takes a bite of his food, like nothing had happened. Nanami is still smiling softly at you, lingering his stare. His brown eyes are soft, as if he holds a certain admiration for you.

The rest of the night goes with conversations with a kid, helping Kento to tie up the kitchen and putting Yuuji to bed.

Nanami sighs as he closes his son's bedroom door and walks over to you, back in the living room. You stare at each other with soft smiles for a moment, prolonging the time; you avoid saying that you have to leave, wanting to stay longer in his company, in his home.

“Would you like a glass of wine?” He asks, and your heart warms.

“It's a weekday,” you argue.

“I know.”

Then you nod, feeling the heat creep on your cheekbones. Nanami pours you a glass of red wine and guides you back to the couch. He crosses his leg, supporting an ankle on a knee, and stretching his arm on the top of the couch. He turns to face you, taking a sip of his red wine. Accepting his invitation, you approach him and snuggle on his body, his warmth radiates to you.

“How old is he?” You ask, after a moment of silence.

“Four,” he answers, rubbing circles with his thumb on your shoulder. When you don't say anything, he continues, “his… his mother is not in the picture.”

“Oh.” Your heart breaks a little to think of him and Yuuji abandoned by a faceless woman.

You feel him swallow hard and pull away to look into his eyes, “You don't have to tell me if you don't want…”

Nanami smiles softly, brushing a strand of your hair away from your face.

“It's alright.” He whispers. “I want to.”

You sit with your legs crossed on the couch as he tells you all about it. He tells you how he met Yuuji's mother at a bar and had a one night stand that resulted in her getting pregnant. He tells you how she wanted to get rid of it, and how he even drove her to the clinic, but felt an urge to convince her to keep it.

“I told her it was her choice, and hers only,” he says, “but if she wanted to, I'd support her in any way possible. She already had Choso and being a single mother is very hard. In the end, we decided I'd get the baby and she'd pay for child support. I told her it wasn't necessary, but she insisted.”

A valid reason, you think. Maybe this woman was so hurt in the past that another kid wouldn't do well for her.

“It's been Yuuji and I, ever since. At least until Choso found us last month.”

A smile creeps on your face, “He seems… nice.”

Nanami almost barks a laugh, holding himself to not wake Yuuji up.

“He’s a teenager. But he's very protective of Yuuji. I guess he's always wanted a brother, that's why he looked for us.”

You nod, reflecting on what he said. You can't help but feel compassion for Nanami, imagining it must have been hard for him in the first moments. Taking care of a newborn, on his own, and still going to work… you feel your heart squeeze.

“I know it's a bit overwhelming,” he says, interrupting your thoughts, “I-I… I won't blame you if you don't want this anymore…”

There. The insecurity is clear in his eyes, that avoid yours, in his stuttered words – have you ever heard him stutter before? –, in the way he leans his elbows on his knees. You can't help but feel sorry for him, but a deeper feeling takes over you.

Something strange, unfamiliar, but comforting. You don't know what it is yet, but you'll soon find out.

But it's something that drives you to uncross your legs and lean forward, against him. Gently, you take his chin and guide him to look at you. Without saying a word, you bring your lips to his, in a soft kiss.

“I don’t know how to deal with children,” you say, touching your forehead with his and closing your eyes, “but you can teach me. I know I’m clumsy and I have problems paying attention to what I wear to work, but if you… if you both give me a chance to let me in, I’ll do my best.”

Nanami cups your cheeks and leans forward to kiss you, before murmuring on your lips,

“You’re already in, sweet girl.”

Tears pool in your eyes as you kiss him back, not paying attention to the half empty glass of wine in your hands, only when it spills all over your blouse and on the couch.

“Fuck,” you whisper, quickly catching the – now empty – glass and standing up, “I’m so sorry!”

He stands up as well, never minding the stain on the couch, “I think that’s on me this time, darling.” Looking at your blouse, wet and stained, he inhales deeply. “You uh… That’s gonna stain if you don’t wash it soon.”

You look at him, knowing damn well the blouse is gone, the white fabric forever stained red. There’s a blush on Nanami’s cheekbones that makes you snicker.

“Should I take it off, then?” You ask, feigning innocence.

“Yes.” He answers too fast and you know what’s to come.

Untucking the blouse from your skirt, you cross your arms at your front and pull it over your head. Nanami’s breath hitches and he closes his hands in fists when he sees your black bra. It’s simple, not even lacy or anything, but the sight of your breasts in them makes him want to lose control.

You hand him the blouse with a smirk on your face. He says something under his breath that you can’t understand and takes it from you, “This will probably take all night.”

“I can stay as long as it takes,” you reply, “if that’s okay–”

“It’s okay.” Again with the quick answers, “There’s a shirt in my bedroom. It’s at the end of the hallway. I’ll throw this in the washing machine and be right there.”

You can tell he’s holding himself by the strain on his voice, but you put that aside, because now you’re excited to see his room. Walking through the corridor, you pass Yuuji’s bedroom and what looks to be Nanami’s office. His bedroom is neat, organized, which reflects on the kind of person he is. It’s bigger than yours, with floor to ceiling windows, and a king sized bed – that looks so soft you’re afraid to sit on it–, a walk-in closet, and a big mirror leaned on the wall.

The windows are what catches your attention. You’ve never seen a city like that, lit up in the dark, you can only see the lights of other buildings and the cars down there. It’s beautiful.

Two hands snake on your waist, making you jump. Nanami’s lips brush on your shoulders from behind as he pulls you closer, your back against his chest. Relaxing your muscles, you lean back on him, touching his arms.

“The view is beautiful.” You tell him as he peppers wet kisses from your shoulders to your neck.

“Hmm, this one too.” he says softly and you smile.

He starts to run his hands on your body, squeezing the flesh of your hips, cupping your breasts and hiking your skirt up to caress your inner thighs. Nanami moans in your ear.

“These damn lacy thigh highs.”

“Kento…” You sigh, leaning your head on his shoulder, “What about Yuuji…”

“I guess you’ll have to be quiet tonight.” He caresses your back and your neck until his hands are in your hair, giving it a tug that makes you whine quietly, desire coursing in your veins.

His mouth finds yours in a desperate kiss, all teeth and tongue, and it’s like he doesn’t kiss you in years . Nanami unzips your skirt from behind and pulls it down, turning your head, making you look at your reflection on the window.

“Do you know how hot you are?” He whispers, a feral look on his face. You don’t have to look into his eyes to know his pupils are dilated with lust.

“No…” You sigh. “Tell me… Show me.”

A hand dips between your thighs, pulling your underwear to the side, and wasting no time in coating his fingers with your wetness. You hear him groan and say something, but your mind goes blank when he messily rubs your clit. A moan escapes your lips and he lets go of your hair to cover them.

“Shh…” Nanami says, “Be a good girl and I’ll let you come tonight.”

Oh, god. You love when he takes control like this. It’s how you know he’s going to fuck you good.

Without warning, Nanami sinks two fingers inside you. You’re so wet that they glide in easily, making him chuckle.

“Kento…” you mumble, voice muffled by his hand. “Please…”

He moves his hand from your lip to your neck, “What’s that, sweet girl?”

“Please…” you repeat.

“Please what? Use your words, princess.”

Your breath hitches at the endearing name, “Please, fuck me.”

Nanami smiles and it takes a second until he guides you to bed.

“Take these off,” he says while unbuttoning his shirt, “keep the thighs on.”

You know he loves when you wear high thighs, especially the lacy ones. Reaching behind you, and unclasping your bra, a smile graces your features when he takes his shirt and pants off.

It never gets boring.

Nanami grows impatient and helps you pull down your underwear, spreading your legs after. The anticipation and excitement make you lose your breath, as he softly runs the back of his fingers on your inner thighs, tracing the lace and the soft skin of your upper thigh, getting closer and closer to where you want him to touch you the most.

“Kento…” your breath hitches when one of his fingers barely touches your center, “don’t tease.”

He laughs, smiling at you. “Now you want to tell me what to do?”

“No!” You shake your head, closing your eyes, “I just… Need you.”

Without warning, he kneels between your legs and latches at you. You whine, falling on the mattress and tangling your fingers on his soft hair. Nanami eats you like a starved man, like if you're someone he’s been missing for a long time. Your breath gets heavier by the second and, particularly, when he inserts two fingers inside you again, using his thumb to circle the most sensitive part of you.

“Love the way you taste,” he says, eyes hooded and cheeks flushed. You don’t answer as you feel your orgasm building up slowly on your lower stomach.

“Hmm, don’t stop.” You manage to say.

“Anything for my good girl.” He mumbles, putting his mouth on you one more time.

The compliment is what makes you come, your hand over your lips to muffle your moans and whimpers. Eye rolling to the back of your head, you try to close your legs but Nanami doesn’t stop, riding out your orgasm like he does so many times.

When he’s done, he leaves a trail of kisses up on your stomach until he reaches your face, hoovering above you.

“You look so pretty when you come.”

Laughing, you try to hide your face, but when Nanami pries your fingers apart, he kisses you softly. Your moans, muffled by his lips, are quiet when he sinks in you, starting a slow pace; he buries his face on your shoulder and you wrap your legs around his hips, hugging him closer – as if it was possible – to you.

It’s not enough.

“Kento,” you whisper in his ear, “fuck me harder.”

Nanami grunts and pulls away from you, slipping out and roughly flipping you on your stomach.

“Ass up.” His voice is commanding and you oblige, moving to stay on all fours, “you asked for this, sweet girl,” he thrusts into you hard, “now take it like the good girl you are.”

He hits a spot inside you that makes you see stars; you can’t help to think how full you are, how complete you feel with him inside.

“ Shit .” Nanami’s voice is a hoarse, breathy, mumble. His fingers dig on the skin of your hips. You can feel the pressure of his blunt nails and it only makes you shudder. Your eyes rolling back, a strangled moan leaves your lips.

“I-” you try to speak, but Nanami grabs your hair by the roots, pulling you up so your sweaty back meets his hard chest. “Fuck, Kento!”

His mouth finds your ear, breathing hard as his hips meet your behind, “You like it when I pull your hair like this?”

Words escape you when he hits that spot inside you again, taking your breath away. It only makes Nanami pull harder on your hair, your scalp stinging pleasantly. The all too familiar sensation on your lower stomach starts to emerge.

“Do you?” he insists, his pace becoming slower, teasing you.

“Yes, fuck-” you gasp.

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, Mr. Nanami ! I love it when you pull my hair!”

He hums satisfied, “Good girl.”

Nanami lets go of your hair too soon, pushing your face against the mattress, but you don't have time to whine as he starts thrusting faster and harder inside you. Your knees almost give in and your legs shake. Trying to warn him, mumbling as he pistols his hips with no mercy. It’s only when the pad of his thumb presses against the tight ring of muscles behind you that you let out a raspy moan, letting it all out.

“Fuck, you little slut ,” he groans, coming together with you, releasing his spill inside you, “look at the fucking mess you’d made.”

Your senses are out of control, you’re seeing double and you barely register the soaked sheets as Nanami rides your and his orgasms out. When he finally stops his pace, you let out a shaky breath. You feel him pull out of you with a groan, leaning against your back once more, planting kisses on your face. The sigh that leaves your lips in relief is replaced by a yelp when he turns you on your back, pressing his lips on yours.

“Make up your mind, am I a good girl or am I a slut?” you smile on his lips.

He lets out a laugh, his smile making his eyes wrinkle at the corners.

“You’re wonderful,” he replies, out of breath, “You okay?”

“Yes.” you nod. “Sorry about the mess.”

Nanami shakes his head, “I love your mess.”

Lips parted, you pause at his words and absorb its meaning.

“Do you want to shower?” He asks, as if nothing has happened.

“Yes, please.”

Nanami guides you to the bathroom and gives you toiletries, kissing you one last time before you enter the shower. You use his soap, so uniquely him , and the extra toothbrush he gave you to brush your teeth. Then, when you leave the bathroom, he’s wearing his previous boxers and has already changed the sheets. As usual.

When he looks up at you, he smiles, “Will you stay the night?”

Warmth blooms in your heart. You nod quickly, not saying a word, afraid you’ll tear up.

Then he hands you a pair of pajamas. “Sorry, I only have men’s pajamas.”

“It’s okay.” You whisper. “Thank you.”

Nanami presses his lips against yours in a short sweet kiss, “You go ahead and lie down. I’ll take a quick shower.”

Nodding again, you smile to yourself as you dress the blue pajama he gave you and get on bed. Everything about this night was perfect. Meeting Yuuji and having dinner with both of them. Learning more about Nanami’s life, him showing an important part of him.

And you can’t wait to wake up next to him tomorrow.

#nanami kento x reader #nanami kento x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #kento nanami x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut #nanami smut #nanami kento smut #jjk smut #gabiwrites.txt

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ohtobeleah · 1 year

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M.U.R.P.H // Bradley Bradshaw

Summary: An undisclosed pregnancy that you and your husband try keeping a secret ends up being the reason you end up in hospital during a PTI session with the Dagger Squad.

Word Count: 6k

Warnings: Pregnancy. Bradley Bradshaw x F!reader. Mild Angst.

Author Note: Happy Saturday! This is pretty self indulgent but I final finished this one-shot that’s been in my drafts forever.

“Alright team.” Pete Mitchell, although overworked and severely underpaid for the crap he put up with–grinned ear to ear at his group of elite Naval Aviators who sat before him after debriefing this morning's training exercise. “As you know, this weekend is Memorial Day weekend and the Admirals have decided to get a jump start on the events.”

“Are we getting a long weekend?” Fanboy beamed hopefully as he sat up a little straighter. “Please tell me we’re getting a long weekend—“ He hoped that if he asked with enough conviction in his voice the answer would be yes. However, he hadn’t noticed you standing at the back of the room. A protective hand over your barely visible baby bump. Waiting for the right moment to make your presence known. Bob had noticed though—he was already dreading what was to come. He hated Memorial Day. Not because he didn’t want to pay respects to those who had fallen, no. He’d honour the fallen every damn day if he had to.

So long as he didn’t have to participate in Murph.

You’d been his PTI during his time in Lamoore. You were the first Bradshaw he’d met and before he later Met Bradley Bradshaw and put two and two together that the two of you were married–nothing had ever made more sense.

Bob’s heart had sunk into his ass when he found out you were being transferred to North Island. You were somewhat of a hard task master when it came to gruelling training sessions and Memorial Day always gave you free rein to send anyone packing with their tail between their legs if they couldn’t keep up.

You were, however, a solid friend. When you weren’t working, you were the life of the party. The brightest smile in the room and always the one who everyone gravitated towards. Much like Bradley, you two always seemed to get the party started. Whether it was playing great balls of fire and singing at the top of your lungs—or starting an important dart night that saw a permanent tally board hung up beside the much too loved dartboard. There had been a time or two where you’d challenged the strongest of the bunch to an arm wrestle—Bob was always the first to bow at your bark. Not one to challenge anything you said, hell he’d do just about anything you told him to do….

So long as he didn’t have to participate in Murph.

Bob had never been one to believe in soulmates before he saw you and Bradley together, he’d never met two people more suited for each other. But neither of you needed to hear that from him–you’d already managed to figure that out on your own.

“No, Fanboy—“ Maverick sighed as he gestured for you to make your way to the front of the class. “No you aren’t getting a long weekend, what you are getting though, is a killer workout with PTI Bradshaw.” You heard the mixed reviews your introduction received. You’d only just recently finished running annual fitness testing for those who needed to be re-evaluated. So the idea of yet another gruelling workout tossed their way wasn’t what some of the aviators had in mind for a head start on the weekend.

Jake Seresin and Javy Machado however? Oh they were wrapped. They loved a challenge—they adored you and they certainly came over the challenges you loved to hand out.

“Morning everyone.” You beamed as you handed Rooster, you beloved husband, who sat in the front row with a soft grin, a pile of papers. “Take one and pass them along please Lieutenant Bradshaw.” Your fingers lingered across Bradley’s for a few seconds as he smiled softly back at you with heart shaped eyes. He always thought you looked so different with your hair pulled back into a ridiculously tight bun. Your uniform made you look so different, nothing like what you looked like at the Hard Deck with your hair out and mum jeans on. Sitting beside him at the piano playing great balls of fire. A Margarita in your hand and his glasses over your beautiful eyes. Nothing like what you looked like tucked into his side, hair splayed every which way and silk pyjamas adorning your beautiful body.

“Physical Training Instructors play a key role in developing and maintaining the health, fitness and well-being of our airmen. In the United States Navy, physical fitness is absolutely essential in maintaining good health and overall wellbeing.” Pete Mitchell had been required to say that little statement prior to any session he handed over to you. “Regardless of Rank, PTI “Agony” Bradshaw will be your superior for the next two hours—with that I hand you over.”

“Thanks Mav.” You chuckled, appreciating the way you were so respected by the veteran aviator. PTI’s didn’t always have the best wrap—so when Maverick commanded the attention of everyone in the room on your behalf it gave you a little more confidence each and every time. “Alright flyboys—“ You teased, turning your attention to Phoenix so you could address her too. “And Flygirl, today we’re doing MURPH—“

Your declaration was met with a choir of dismay and disapproval from at least half of the team that sat before you. Suddenly their shoulders were a little more slouched and their faces plastered with existential dread when they started reading over the workout plan you'd had Bradley pass back. No one liked doing MURPH, except maybe Jake Seresin.

“Ma’am, I think that sounds like a great idea—“ Hangman sent you one of his thousand watt grins as he played with the toothpick that sat between his teeth. “Don’t you think your wife here comes up with some banger ideas, Rooster?” Bradley did think you had some good ideas, he wasn't going to let you know that though–if he did he knew his workouts, his Personal Training sessions and his Fitness Testing would just increasingly get harder and harder. It had only been by the skin of his goddamn nose that you passed his last Multi-Stage Fitness Test. Bradley Bradshaw was a hunk and with that meant he himself was not the most aerodynamic of the bunch–Bob had passed with flying colours, although you did nearly force him to restart his push-ups again when you caught him cheating on range.

“She told me what she had planned last night Hangman, I’m ready to go, brought my pre workout in my bag and everything—“ Rooster just sighed as he leaned back in his chair, spreading his legs as he brought his hands up to rest behind his head. “Piece of cake.”

“I have never heard anyone say MURPH is a piece of cake.” Phoenix groaned. “Aggie, please–”

“I don't make the rules, Lieutenant, I just enforce them.” You had gotten used to the love-hate relationship and animosity you received while you were in uniform, it was your job to make sure none of the navy’s finest aviators let their fitness fall to the wayside. “Now for those who don't know what MURPH is, i'll explain quickly then you can all take twenty to change, refuel, and meet me over in the gym.” As you pulled out the empty chair that sat vacant next to your husband, you used it as a footstool before propping yourself up on the desk. Clearing your throat before reading out the workout explanation on the sheet you'd distributed.

“M.U.R.P.H is a hero WOD dedicated to Michael P. Murphy, the first service member to receive the Medal of Honor for service in Afghanistan, during a Memorial Day event on Bagram Airfield, Afghanistan, May 24, 2015.” Although there were more people sitting before you who didn't like the idea of such a gruelling workout, they did respect the fallen. “Michael's favourite workout was dedicated to him after his passing and thus, will be your workout today.” You felt the stomachs of everyone, all but Jake And Javy who just sat a little straighter in their chairs, drop.

“Today you will complete a one mile run, 100 pull-ups, expected to be chest to bar, 200 push-ups, 300 bodyweight squats, and to finish up we’ll run another mile.” Bradley crept a hand around your calf, thumbing your uniform as he squinted his eyes and bit his bottom lip, hoping you wouldn't add anything else to the list…..He should have known better. But he couldn't hold a grudge against you–not when you were four months pregnant and glowing. You were hiding your pregnancy well, it wasn't that you didn't want your friends and family to know, it's just you wanted to revel in the experience with Bradley for a little while longer before telling everyone you were both expecting. “Usually the twenty pound weight vest would be optional, but boys and girls you are some of the Navy’s finest Aviators, so you will all complete this course while wearing a twenty pound vest, none-notable people.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~*

In the locker room, Nomex Flight Suits had been discarded for workout gear. Standard issue work boots had been replaced by trainers, and any and all standards of professionalism had gone out the window. It was the one thing everyone actually did enjoy about having you as their PTI, you weren’t big on formality. As long as respect was there you couldn’t give a rats ass about if people swore at you or razzed you. It made the job just a little bit more enjoyable.

The last thing anyone wanted to do while they were working out was keep a rigid and professional persona.

“Man, sometimes I hate your wife.” Phoenix grumbled as the group walked out of the locker room with towels slung over their shoulders and copious amounts of pre-workout scooped into shakers. Bradley couldn't help but to laugh, he loved you so much, the wedding band wrapped around his ring finger was there to prove it. The tattoos of your name on his left ass cheek was also there to prove it.

“I wouldn't let her hear you say that.” Bradley paused as he took a swig of his pre-workout before handing it to Jake who looked like he was pumping himself up for the fight of his life. “She’ll ‘accidentally’ forget to count your reps and make you start again.”

“This is surely a form of torture–” Fanboy added as he trailed behind with Bob.

“It's a hero WOD Fanboy–respect the dead.” Jake hissed, he was as keen as, the only one in the group who hadnt had a negative thing to say about your workout plan. “I don't know why you guys aren't more excited.”

“Unlike you Hangman, most of us aren't gluttons for punishment.” Payback teased as he came to sling an arm around Jake's shoulders. “Or degradation, considering the unholy things I've seen in your search history.” Jake and Bradley had grown closer in the past few years that saw them in North Island permanently, there had been more times than you could count where the two of them would stumble back to your humble abode, drunk out of their minds. There had even been a time or two where you'd caught them spooning on the couch when Rooster couldn't take the stairs in his drunken state.

“None of which compare to what Bradsaw probably cops in the bedroom.” Jake was quick to turn the attention back on Rooster, sending him a smirk over his shoulder as he took a quick sip of the pre-workout they were sharing and handed it over. “Huh Rooster? Agony probably has you wrapped around her little finger.” It was no secret amongst the group that you were a power house PTI, you didn’t dish out any workout you couldn't do with your eyes closed, something that the Daggers really valued about you was your integrity. You were honest and kind and above all, you levelled with them. You weren't a hypocrite and you, as much as you hated your job some days, the constant pressure, the delayed onset muscle soreness, the gruelling workouts and the sweat, you led by example and practised what you preached.

That didnt mean you and Bradley wouldn't reserve Friday nights for takeout and chocolate.

“That she does.” Was all Bradley replied with, “Have you fucking seen her? She’d kick my ass any day of the week if I gave her any ounce of crap.” He was without a shadow of a doubt whipped, but Bradley had always been that way with you–ever since he met you at his first water survival training weekend, he was down bad. He’d been assigned to your little group that first Saturday and you sent his heart into the stratosphere the first time you smiled at him. He was still unsure if it had ever come back or if your unconditional love and admiration just kept it hovering in the ozone layer.

“She looks like she's glowing.” Bob remarked as the group mixed with nervousness, existential dread and far too much ego radiating of one particular member made their way across the tarmac to the base gym you could be found in any given day of the week. It was your home away from home. Kitted out with state of the art equipment, a spacious and functional environment that was welcoming and motivating. “She's far too excited about this, oh my god.”

Bradley knew you were glowing, but he also knew it wasn't because you were excited. He knew that it was because of the little one growing inside you, a mix of him and you. He kind of hoped it was a boy, but everyone always told him he’d make a good girl dad. Regardless–he just wanted to be a dad, his biggest achievement by far would be being a good dad.

“She really is.” Bradley beamed as he heard the unmistakable tune of AJR’s Burn The House Down blasting through your speakers, reading over the workout plan one final time as you sat on the sled track, legs sprawled as you hummed away in your own little word. Twirling the pen you held in your hand absentmindedly, Bradley’s voice brought you out of your concentration. Alerting you that the team was ready to be put through their paces. “We’re hear for your torture session, Agony, don’t hold back on Hangman though, he’s been gloating since, well–forever really.” Bradley teased as he offered you a gentle hand, helping you rise up from the felt sled track. You immediately felt a dizziness unparalleled to anything you'd ever experienced before. So much so you fought off the urge to succumb to the feeling of descent as you stumbled and stammered for a second.

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind, Lieutenant.” You smiled, exhaling as you steadied your equilibrium. Bradley caught on immediately that you were feeling slightly uneasy, placing a soft hand against the small of your back as you cleared your throat and rolled up your sleeves a little. “Alright, So I’ve measured out half a mile along the airfield, so it's half a mile to and half a mile back– You can either run the tarmac or use the treadmill.” You explained to everybody standing around listening in to what you had to say.

“Can we break up the reps Y/n?” Payback asked as he shouldered Bob, forcing him to lose his footing slightly, stumbling for a second as he sent Payback look. “Or is it strictly 100, 200, 300?”

“I don't care what you guys do so long as you get it done.” Your tone made Fanboy shiver, you could be a hard task master when you wanted to be. “Start warming up and we’ll get this show on the road.” Bradley was quick to sneak a peck on the cheek when the group started to disperse, all except for Hangman a little on edge about what was to come.

“You feeling alright darlin?” He cooed, walking with you over to your desk where you’d left your water bottle.

“Your baby is the size of a pear at the moment and she's already giving me a hard time.” Neither you nor Bradley wanted to know if you were having a boy or a girl, you wanted it to be a surprise, both having made lists that kept growing with names galore. “I'm just starting to feel really sluggish, which is hard to hide when I'm usually the energiser bunny on base.”

“Dr. Richards did say you’d need to pull back a little the further along you get baby." It was hard to accept that you would eventually have to slow down, up until about two weeks ago you had been fine, apart from the morning sickness you had dealt with in the first trimester. Bradley respected your boundaries when you were both at work, knowing professionalism in the workplace was important to you, however–that didn't stop him from discreetly placing a gentle hand atop your stomach, finding the small baby bump hiding under your work uniform. The camo green fabric warping around your naval under his palm. “But that doesn't mean you're not any less capable, just means you’re growing our little boy which in my opinion, is pretty spectacular.”

“Just means we’ll need to tell everyone sooner rather than later Roo.” You sighed, taking a sip of your water, not knowing that Phoenix had spotted the gentle touch of your husband's hand resting on your stomach for a brief moment. Her eyes wide in shock as her jaw slacked slightly. Phoenix though, the master of recovery, disguised her surprise when you turned around to round up the gang that were all in the process of warming up in some way shape or form. “Alright, we can stagger the start for those who aren't warm enough–” You side eyed Bradley as he scoffed at you, leaving your side to join his colleagues. “

“Let's go boys and girl, we’re doing Murph baby!” Jake hollered out, clapping his hands down on Javys shoulders, pumping each other up as you laughed, a smile creeping across your face. “Bradshaw! You gonna try keep up with the big boys?”

“Think I might taxi with Bob.” Bradley replied, jogging on the spot before giving his lower back a little twist side to side. Bob just rolled his eyes, to the untrained eye he was the kind of guy who kept his shirt on during beach days, but he thoroughly enjoyed cardio. If Rooster's plan had been to taxi with him during the mile run he was in for a rude shock, but Bob knew he was gonna lose time in the pull-up department. “You ready to go man?”

“As ready as I'll ever be for this kind of workout.” Bob groned. “If I say I twisted my ankle now, do I still have to participate?” The group all laughed at the near winge that left Bob's mouth, he really wasn't up for this today–but what you came back with made the gym explode with boisterous laughter.

“If you dont be careful Lieutenant Floyd l’ll pack an extra pound into your weight vest.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***

Phoenix saw her opportune moment to strike about half way through the first half mile. Bradley was starting to show a red hume across his face, a thin layer of sweat had started to form across his forehead and Phoenix knew that if he was focusing hard enough on keeping his pace steady with one foot in front of the other, she knew he was in no position to formulate a lie.

“So–Bradshaw.” Phoenix started as she came up to jog beside Rooster. “How far along is she?”

“How far along is who?” Bradley replied as he kept his head straight, focused on the marker up ahead that indicated the turn around point. Watching as Jake and Javy booked it around one another, racing ahead of the rest of the group who had all opted to taxi their way through this.

“Agony, she's pregnant.” Phoenix spoke with such conviction that Bradley found it near impossible to try and formulate a lie that would cover up the truth of the matter. “I saw you put your hand on her stomach, and I know you wouldnt do that if she wasnt pregnant.”

“She's feeling a little off today, little spud is kicking her around a little.” It was all the conformation Phoenix needed to let out a little squeal as she beamed at Rooster, smacking him in the shoulder. “Ow!”

“Why would you keep this from us! Rooster! That's amazing, congratulations!”

“We just wanted to enjoy it for a while, just us, we haven't even told her parents yet.” Bradley explained as he made it to the turnabout point with Phoenix, both keeping each other's pace. “She's four months, we don't wanna know the sex, but everything is going the way it should, doc said she’ll need to start pulling back soon though.”

“Ah, so thats why she isn’t participating in the torture.” Phoenix had picked up on the fact you weren’t participating today, she thought it was odd that you weren't but wasn't about to question it. She was scared you'd match her attitude and give her an extra 100 push ups. “Mrs Bradshaw is knocked up.”

“Yeah.” Bradley chuckled, he liked the sound of that. “I had to beg her not to last night when I saw the MURPH file sitting out on the dining table, got down on my knees and everything.”

“You couldn't have just talked her out of the whole plan entirely?” Phoenix whined, starting to feel a little more puffed from talking as she jogged with Bradley. Starting to really feel herself warming up.

“Oh trust me, I tried that too.” Bradley explained, laughing as he remembered how that conversation ended. “She seduced me just to get me to shut up.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***

By the time Rooster and Phoenix got back to the hanger turned gym, Jake and Javy were already going ten reps for ten reps with their pull ups. Bob, Fanboy and Payback were just standing there, watching as they caught their breath and waited for Rooster and Phoenix to return.

“Alright ladies, now that everyones back, there's no rest for the wicked.” You turned up the volume on the speaker you stood by before making your way over. “Lets hussle, clocks still ticking and the faster you get this done the less time you have to spend here with me.”

Fanboy groaned as he turned to Bob, sharing a painful look of ‘I'm over this already.’

“How are you gonna break this up, Roo?” You cooed, coming to stand by your husband as you watched Payback and Phoenix get to work on the rig, everyone was working on their pull ups first. “If it was me i'd do ten at a time.”

“I think I should be able to manage twenty-five at a time.” He smiled, mumbling under his breath in your ear as he leaned in to kiss your earlobe. “Phoenix knows you're pregnant by the way.”

“What!?” You gasped. “How did she find out! You said we weren’t gonna tell anyone yet?”

“Saw me touch your stomach before, figured it was a little sus.” Bradley cooed. “I'm sorry.”

“No, no don't be, it was bound to happen sooner or later.” You accepted the reality, watching as your group worked through their reps, taking notice of Bob who was severely lacking in his rep range. “Floyd! Chin to bar!”

“Yeah Bob, chin to bar.” Hangman added, laughing with that thousand watt grin he was known for. “Bradshaw! Stop trying to flirt your way out of this!”

“That's my cue.” Bradley groaned, throwing his head back as he ran his hands through sweat covered locks. “Play nice please.”

“Nope, hop to it Lieutenant–” You bit back, biting your bottom lip as you cautiously and ever so discreetly slapped Bradley on the arse, watching as you sauntered away with a little more pep in his step.

***~***~***~***~***~***~***

“I feel like my arms are gonna pop off!” Next was the push ups. Mickey groaned as he did his set of twenty as you came to kneel beside him. “You’re a vicious and cruel woman.”

“Well I guess Agony is rather fitting, isn't it Fanboy?” you questioned through a soft laugh as you pressed a hand between his shoulder blades. “Retract your scaps, you're relying too much on your triceps, put the pressure through your chest and your longevity will increase.”

“If i wasn't so mad i'd say thankyou.” He groaned, keeping on keeping on with his reps. As soon as he was done, Rooster started his, same as Payback.

“Hmm, I'll take it.” You ruffled Mickey's hair, wiping the sweat you collected onto the thigh of your pants as you stood, feeling light headed as you rose too quickly. “Oh–” Your vision blurred momentarily as a slight ringing in your ears rang out, you tried to breathe through it, but you couldn't catch the feeling.

“Hey Aggie, you okay?” It was Hangman who noticed that you were looking a little unsteady at first, but as soon as the words were leaving his mouth? You were going down. Your eyes rolled in the back of your head as the dizziness from standing too quickly took over you entirely. “Oh shit!” It normally wouldn't have been an issue, but you'd been feeling a little unsteady all day. “Y/n–” Hangman was quick to move to break your fall, catching you in his arms before you could hit the ground. “Rooster! Get over here will ya?” Jake called out, Bradley hadnt seen you fall, he was too busy focusing on his push-ups. “It's Y/n.”

“What's wrong?” Bradley asked as he stood, noticing you passed out in Jake's arms. “Oh my god, hey–” He cooed, tapping your cheek softly as he crouched beside you on the other side of Jake, the whole ordeal had grabbed the attention of all the aviators you had in your gym. “Hey, darling, you okay? Open your eyes for me baby.”

You did, slowly, fluttering your eyelids with a soft groan as you tried to sit up, still feeling dizzy.

“Woah–easy there killer, what's going on? I've never seen you pass out like that before.” Although Jake was technically addressing you, Bradley held a palm to your forehead as he pressed his lips together, watching as you struggled to focus on what was going around you.

“She’s pregnant–” The gym went completely silent at Bradley’s major announcement. “I gotta get her to the hospital in case there's something wrong.”

“Bradley, I'm fine.” You tried to reason with your husband as he scooped you up and into his arms, waiting for you to wrap your arms around his neck before he stood. “I promise, I just felt a little light headed is all.”

“Yeah, no I don't care, we’re getting you checked out.” There was a distinct shift in Bradley’s tone, before he was playful, enjoying the workout as much as he could but now? He was as serious as ever, nothing was more important to him than you, his family.

“Bradley, I'm in the middle of instructing a class.” Again you tried to defend the unnecessary need to go get checked out. You really didn’t feel like it was that big of an issue. “I can’t just leave? Everyone needs—“ Before you could finish, Bradley was interrupting.

“Guys? you good?” Bradley turned around, addressed the totally stunned and flabbergasted group who just looked at him like he’d just dropped a major bomb on them. That his wife was expecting, you were gonna be a mother, and he, Bradley Rooster Bradshaw, was gonna be a dad. “You know what you’re doing don't you?”

“Uh, yeah–” Bob started.

“We’re good.” Payback stammered.

“We’ll be fine, just go make sure everything’s okay.” Phoenix added.

“What do you mean Y/n’s pregnant!?” Hangman asked, standing there with wide eyes and a confused expression. Bradley didn’t respond, he simply turned on his heels and continued on his way, carrying you over to the admin building on base to get you checked out.

“Do I need to have the sex education talk with you Seresin?” Phoenix teased. “Did your parents never give you the birds and the bees talk?” Jake just sent her a look.

“You fucking knew didnt you?” He called Phoenix on her cool calm and collected manor. Something was up.

“Only for like twenty more minutes than you.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***

“Take a picture, it’ll last long.” You pouted from your position on the hospital bed, hooked up to a heart rate monitor. Bradley sat beside you, hand in yours as he just stared at you. Trying to get a read on how you were actually feeling because he knew you weren’t telling him the truth.

“Woah, that was incredibly rude, Mrs Bradshaw.” Bradley teased as he let go of your hand, leaning back in the chair he sat perched in. stretching his arms up over his head, enough so that the bottom of his shirt pulled up, exposing his lower abdomen for a second. An incredible sight. “I'm just doing what any good husband would do, you know, making sure your health is in top priority.”

“I'm A Personal Training Instructor for the United States Navy.” You reminded your husband, deadpanning him as you swirled your palm across your stomach. Stupid hospital gown covering your small bump. “Uncle Sam pays me to make sure you keep your health in tip top shape, it's not the other way around.” Bradley sent you a childish lok as his snickered back at you as you stuck your tongue out at him. “Listen, I’m fine, I'm just not used to my equilibrium being so off, I got up too quick and lost my balance, I'm fine.”

“Why don't we let the doctor be the judge of that?” Bradley sighed, leaning forward as he rose from his seat to kiss your cheek. You just accepted the loving gesture as he cupped your cheeks, swiping the pad of his thumb across your cheek. “I just worry about you, because I love you and if anything ever happened to you I wouldn't be able to forgive myself for not doing enough when I could have.”

“Good thing I love you more huh?” You cooed, watching as Bradley sat back down as Doctor Richard’s entered the room.

“That my dear, is not possible.” Rooster just managed to get his reply in before Doctor Richards smiled.

“Well the good thing is there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with bubs from the ultrasound.” She explained as she read through your chart. “But it seems as though you’re experiencing some bouts of low blood pressure Mrs Bradshaw.”

“Low blood pressure?” Bradley questioned. “That can just happen? Y/n doesn’t have low blood pressure?” He was right, you didn’t, but you seemed to have it now.

“I can assure you Mr. Bradshaw it’s a very common occurrence during the first twenty four weeks of pregnancy, I wouldn’t be too alarmed as long as you manage it.” Doctor Richards addressed you as you sat up a little straighter in your bed.

“How would you like me to do that Doc?” You asked with a sigh, it wasn’t that you didn’t enjoy being pregnant. You did and you were so excited for your little one to arrive. What was annoying though was the fact you had been told to slow down, take things easy, enjoy the time you had with your baby. You were naturally a physically active person. Slowing down just wasn’t in your DNA.

“Take it easy. Try to slow down a little? I understand you’re a PTI? Perhaps avoiding strenuous activity for the time being will help.” Doctor Richards explained. “Try to avoid making sudden movements, like standing up too quickly. It shouldn’t be a long term thing but for now? Monitor your systems, drink plenty of water to stay hydrated to increase your blood volume.”

“Aye aye captain.” You groaned, saluting Dr. Richards as you slumped a little. Rooster caught onto your bad mood instantly, deciding to take over the conversation for you.

“We’ll do our best Doc, thanks for checking up on her.”

“Anytime—I’ll have your charts done up and send a discharge notice to the ladies at Reception.” She explained before leaving the room, giving you and Bradley a moment alone. He was silent as you walked Ike’s at him. Expecting him to say he told you so.

“You feelings alright?” He asked softly.

“I’m fine—just need a moment to truly process that my career is over.” You groaned, lying back as you faught of tears, it was the hormones, but not really. You just knew this day was coming.

“What are you talking about?” Bradley asked, concern lacing his tone of voice as he sat as close to you as he possibly could. “Darlin—?”

“If I can’t train, I can’t tell others to train. I can’t be a hypocrite.” You explained as tears fell down your cheeks. “I’ll go on maternity leave and lose my strength, my endurance, my body is already changing and I can only imagine what it’ll be like after having this beautiful baby.” You were well aware how crazy you sounded but it’s how you felt. “Bradley, I hope you don’t take this as me not loving every single moment of this because I am—“ You sobbed as Braldey held your hand and brought it to his lips. “I’m just scared of how becoming a mother is gonna affect the career I worked so hard to build.”

“I understand baby.” Bradley tried his best to console you, he wasn’t going to tell you that none of what you were worried about was going to happen. He knew that there was a possibility it could. It had happened to other women before you and it would certainly happen after. “But if anyone can manage being a wonderful, caring mother and a fierce, incredibly talented career woman it’s you.”

“You think so?” You couldn’t help but to scoff lightly through your tears as you turned your head to look at your husband, so thankful for his every strong presence and support.

“Honey I know so, we’ll do whatever it takes to get you right back to where you were before this little one came along.” He smiled, helping you sit up. “But let’s focus on you now? Alright, keep that blood pressure from dropping, keep you healthy and happy mama.”

“Oh god!” You remembered the fact Bradley had mentioned to every single Dagger that you were pregnant. “Oh my god Roo, they’re gonna tackle us!” You leaned forward into your husband's chest as he laughed and kissed the top of your head. “I guess we better get back and get it over with huh?”

“Yeah, better to rip the Band-Aid off fast than to drag it out.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***

By the time you got back to base, the entire Dagger Squad was waiting back in the rec room. When you and Bradley entered cautiously, they all stood up as if they were expecting life altering news.

“Is everything alright?” Bob asked, you never thought his eyes could get any bigger—but as he looked at you with hope filled eyes, you knew you’d been wrong.

“Everything’s fine.” You smiled, wrapping your arm around Rooster's torso. Pulling him close as he sighed and filled in the gaps.

“Mum and Bub are doing well, just got a little low blood pressure to manage but other than that? Everything else seems to be just fine.” Everyone went quiet, all silently thanking the heavens above and those in it that nothing major had occurred. Until Fanboy said what everyone was thinking—

“Can we go back to the part where you’re pregnant and didn’t tell any of us?”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~**

#bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley x reader #bradley bradshaw imagine #bradley bradshaw x female reader #bradley bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x reader #rooster bradshaw #rooster x you #top gun rooster

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sometimesanalice · 3 months

Text

I Like Your Cinema

Synopsis: Bradley wasn’t sure why you wanted to see the movie again, especially when neither one of you had particularly liked it the first time you’d seen it together. But when you’re tugging down his zipper, things start to make a lot more sense.

Pairing: Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw X Female Reader

Length: 6K

Warnings: Unapologetic Smut (minors dni)

(author's note: this fic is set in the 'Like I Can Universe', but can be read on it's own! )

Bradley wasn’t expecting to find himself rolling up to the mostly empty movie theater parking lot at 11am on a sunny Saturday morning. But here he was.

He’d had to exercise more self-control than he knew he was capable of when you’d all but skipped out his front door wearing the tightest pair of jeans he’d ever seen. It was all he could do to follow after you to the Bronco, his eyes glued to all of your denim clad curves, instead of pulling you right back into bed with him like he wanted to.

In the passenger’s seat next to him, you’re surprisingly upbeat for someone who was only running off of two cups of coffee instead of the usual three you needed to become a semblance of a functional human being. You’d happily hummed along to the songs playing on the radio the whole ride to the theater.

The two of you had already seen the movie a few weeks ago. It had been fine, but they’d clearly used the funniest moments in the trailer as a way to get people in the seats. It wasn’t one he was particularly interested in seeing again in theaters, but he’d never been good at refusing you. Not when he was younger and certainly not now. So if you wanted to see it he’d be there seated right next to you, just the way he liked to be.

Although Bradley was still trying to remember just when last night it was that the two of you had talked about going to see a matinee showing of it again. He can only guess that it must have slipped his mind after the way you’d come on his mouth.

Less than an hour ago you were hustling him into the shower, he was thinking he was about to get lucky until you’d told him to hurry up or the two of you would be late.

“Wait, late for what, kid?” he’d asked confused. To his knowledge other than meeting up with Mav and Penny for dinner later that night, your Saturday was wonderfully free of plans.

He was getting used to having more morning of waking up with you than less. In his bed, in your bed. There was nothing he like more than feeling all your warm skin under his palm before the sun was up. After so many years on hard beds, it was your softness he was always seeking out still half asleep before getting up for the day.

He’s learned so many things about you from a lifetime of friendship, but he’s only had a couple of months learning what makes you sigh and gasp and keen and come.

It was one thing to know that you weren’t a morning person, regardless of how much you claimed you to be one, and another to see your adorably sleepy pout first thing in the morning with the pillow crease still etched on your cheek.

Bradley liked knowing what your preferred brand of toothpaste was and how many steps were in your bedtime routine. For as well as he’s always known you, there was so much more to discover and he was loving every new bit of you he got to uncover.

He liked your cozy apartment filled with all your pretty things and framed pictures on the walls. He’d never thought of getting a rug for in front of the sink in the kitchen until he was doing the dishes one night at your place, that night he’d ordered one for himself. However, he’d rather see your impressive shoe collection next to his minimal assortment of boots and sneakers in the closet of his condo.

More often than not, you were coming to his place with a tote bag full of your things, spare clothes and travel sized products. He didn’t want you to feel like a visitor passing through, he wanted to be your home. He was still working out how to ask you to move in with him, but he’ll figure it out. He always does.

He wanted more mornings, more nights, more days with you.

“For the movie,” you’d said slowly, looking at him deliberately. Tilting your head at him like his confusion was confusing you.

“Sweet girl, what movie? When did we talk about this? I literally don’t remember.”

The exasperated sigh that came out of you would have been funny if he hadn’t been wracking his brain trying to catch up with something he didn’t realize he was missing to begin with.

“Bradley, come on,” you huffed, petulantly, “We talked about it before bed last night. You said you’d come with me, I already bought the tickets for it.” You wiggle your phone at him like it’ll somehow help to jog his memory.

Well, that explains it. You’d done a number on him last night.

“Last night, huh?” he smirked, grabbing your hips and pulling you to him, “Was this before or after I coaxed you into sitting on my face?” Bradley chuckled at the bashful look that coasted over your face as you shoved at his shoulder lightly, but he’d just tugged you in closer, “Awh, c’mon, don’t get shy on me. It was hot.”

He liked being the one that gets to make you all flustered.

You just shook your head at him, not taking the bait, “It was after.”

“Well if it was after then you can’t blame me for not retaining that conversation. You should know by now that you can’t hold me to whatever comes out of my mouth when I’m still pussy dru-”

“Don’t be crass,” you’d tutted at him, tugging at the hem of his worn Navy shirt.

He slides his thumbs under your shirt, letting them skim over the soft skin above your underwear, “We both know how much you like this mouth, especially when it’s ‘crass’.��

You’d hummed at him- admitting nothing, denying nothing - before a mischievous grin overtook your face, “That’s a good a tidbit to know though, seems like the kind of thing that could work in my favor for the future.”

Those dimples would be the end of him.

“Troublemaker,” he’d said, pulling off his shirt and dropping it onto the bathroom floor.

You weren’t subtle about the way you checked him out, “What are you going to do about it?”

The sweatpants came off next and your eyes weren’t anywhere near his face when he replied, “Come get in the shower with me and I’ll show you real quick.”

You’d sauntered up to him slowly. And for a moment he thought you were going to reach for his cock, instead you’d grabbed a fluffy white towel and pressed it into his chest, “Not going to happen, Bradshaw. We’ve got a date with seats F9 and F10 in 40 minutes. Chop-chop, pretty boy.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Although, it didn’t stop him from snapping the towel at your ass when you’d spun away in your triumph.

He’s given up trying to remember the conversation from the night before or when you bought the tickets because you are happily tugging him towards the doors to the theater and he’d do just about anything to see the pretty curve of your smile.

Including seeing the action comedy that had one too many explosion sequences and a car that ends up in space for whatever reason.

The last time he made a fuss about you not letting him be the one to buy something for the two of you, you’d given him a look that had nearly pinned him to the damn wall and then said: “Don’t be a caveman. It’s not the 1950’s, I am allowed buy you things too.”

He’d hate to be called anti-feminist, so he was trying to get better about letting you pamper him in your own ways. But that didn’t stop him from trying to be the first one to reach for a credit card every chance he got. You were his girl and he couldn’t help himself.

Bradley opens the door for you and is hit with the smell of freshly popped popcorn. He looks down at you in time to watch as your nose scrunches the same way it always has in all the years that he’s known you.

Once the tickets on your phone are scanned by the yawning teen at the podium in the lobby entry, you’re lacing your fingers between his again, “Let’s get some snacks.”

“How are you even hungry right now?” He’d made the two of you a big breakfast to recoup some energy after being thoroughly worn out by you last night. So he doesn’t know how you even have junk food on the brain right now.

“We’re at the movie theater, Bradley, we’re legally required to get something with some Red Dye 40 and an obscene amount of sugar in it.”

“My bad, you’re right.”

“Of course, I am,” you preen.

He huffs an amused laugh as you lead him to concessions stand. It’s early enough that there’s only one person working the counter. The two of you get in line behind the family with three small kids who have their faces and little hands pressed against the glass display with all the colorful boxes of candies excitedly making their selections.

Bradley is watching as you mull over the choices on the flat screen TVs displaying the theaters offerings, your lips quirked to the side deep in thought. As he watches you, it dawns on him that the two of you will have plenty of time after the movie to run a few errands before they meet Mav and Penny for dinner.

“Hey, I was thinking about getting for a new dresser. I think mine might be too small now that all my things are here in San Diego now. If you’re up for it afterwards, do you want to come help me pick one out? Anything outside of IKEA is bit outside my area of expertise.”

With your help over the last few months, he’s been picking up a few new things to make his place feel more like a home and less like something temporary. Like some throw pillow for the couch, some nicer towels for the bathroom that all match. All little things but he liked that your fingerprints were all over his place even when you weren’t there with him.

“Oh yeah?” you say as you turn your face to look up at him, eyes alight with interest, “I’d be happy to, it’ll be fun! I can think of at least 5 places off the top of my head. You’re in good hands, trust me.”

“Don’t I know it,” he winks and drops a kiss on your cheek.

When it’s your turn to order you get a Cherry Coke for yourself and a Root Beer for him. Along with a bag of gummy bears, a box of Milk Duds, and a packet of Red Vines. But it’s your final request that surprises him.

“Oh, and a large popcorn, please,” you say with a smile.

He peers down at you quizzically, “But you hate popcorn.”

“What are you talking about? No, I don’t.” He just gives you a skeptical lift of his eyebrow. “Ok, maybe in the past,” you allow, with a little nonchalant shrug of your shoulder, “But today I want some, it sounds good.”

Bradley has never in his life seen you eat anything other than the homemade stuff from on a stovetop, but at the determined tip of your chin he isn’t about to press it. You’ve always been the type of girl who knows what she wants. And gets it.

“Whatever you want, kid,” he says handing over his credit card to the girl behind the counter. Feeling more than a little pleased with himself as she swipes it since you’re still trying to reach for your wallet in your purse.

You smile and shake your head at him as you press that overly large bucket of popcorn into his chest for him to take, it’s shiny and yellow with artificial butter. You grab a stack of the thin, single-ply napkins and stuff them into your purse before grabbing the rest of the goods from off the fingerprint covered counter.

He trails after you popping a few salty buttery pieces into his mouth, admiring the curve of your ass in those jeans. His own personal preshow entertainment.

The seats you had grabbed were to the left side in the very back row of one of the smaller theaters that are usually reserved for movies about to hit on-demand and streaming services. Bradley can’t say he’s too surprised that the zoom kaboom movie isn’t going to have a long theatrical run.

It doesn’t escape his notice the way you set his drink in the cup holder on the left side of his assigned seat, your own soda going into the cup holder on your right before you settle into your own seat. It’s the little things you do for him, like putting his cup on his dominant side or stocking the fridge at your place with his favorite beer, that make him fall more and more for you every day.

The two of you get competitive when the movie trivia segment plays. You’re a split second faster than him blurting out Matt Damon in Ocean’s Twelve and securing your win against him. Your victory shimmy in your seat is cut short when a man comes walking down the aisle heading towards the front row of the theater.

Bradley plays a couple rounds of the beer pong game on his phone that you always tease him about in between eating handfuls of popcorn waiting for the lights to dim and the movie to start. He offers you the bucket, but you press it back towards him and tell him you’ll have some later.

He thinks he catches the movie app with the seating chart from the corner of his eye, but you’re probably just closing it out from using it to get the tickets scanned earlier. But you’re more fidgety than normal. It’s only after he clocks you pulling your phone for the third time that he asks, “You seem antsy, you ok?”

“I’m just excited to see the movie again,” you reply, putting your phone on airplane mode and tucking it back into your purse.

“I didn’t realize you liked it so much.”

“Well, I did. I think you’ll like it more this time too, it takes at least two watches to catch all the nuances.”

“I didn’t realize a Kevin Hart movie could have so many layers,” he jokes as the lights turn down.

“You shush, it’s starting.”

As the opening sequence plays, you push up the armrest between the two of you to lean your head on his shoulder, curling into him as much as you can. When you rest your hand on his stomach he decides this might be his new favorite way to spend a Saturday morning, with you pressed against him in a darkened room and breathing in the smell of your shampoo.

Bradley isn’t surprised in the least when you turn down his offer of popcorn again 20 minutes later when it’s revealed the best friend in the movie is actually a rogue CIA agent. He smirks to himself when you push until its resting on top of the thigh furthest away from you. He couldn’t wait to tease you about it after the movie was over.

As the movie builds to the first big action sequence, your hand slowly slides lower down his stomach. It’s all he can to do try and focus on the movie in hopes of distracting himself from getting a hard-on like some horny teenager rather than the grown ass man that he is.

But then right as the chase scene through the crowded streets of London starts, you’re popping open the button on his jeans and tugging down his zipper.

And then you’re pulling out his now very hard cock.

“Oh, shit.”

Your delicate fingers are teasing along the length of him with a featherlight touch. He couldn’t care less about the half a million-dollar car on screen that’s on its way to the junkyard with the way it’s getting destroyed, and is entirely enthralled by the way your hand looks loosely wrapped around his cock as you toy with him.

“This ok?” you ask quietly, in a way that has him wanting to flutter his eyes closed. Your thumb sweeps slowly along under the flare of his head in the way you know he likes.

He’s always been a bit adventurous, he likes the adrenaline rush both in the air and on the ground, and he was learning you were too. You’d never come so quick for him as you did the night in the parking lot of the Hard Deck when the fire alarm went off unexpectedly causing everyone to start flooding out as you were riding his cock in the driver’s seat of the Bronco.

Bradley had never been more thankful to have arrived late enough that he’d had to park on the other side of the dumpsters. The only person who was allowed to see you undone and unraveled was him.

“So fucking ok, sweet girl,” he rasps as soundlessly as he can. The one other person in the theater with them is quite a few rows ahead of them, but he wasn’t about to give away what was going on in the back row of Auditorium 17 at the AMC Chula Vista 10.

“Shh, don’t you know talking during a movie is rude, Bradley?” you whisper into the shell of his ear. And god does he want to laugh, but he has to grit his teeth together to hold back the moan he’s desperate to release when you more firmly grasp him in your hand.

He already knows that is something that’s going to keep him occupied on those nights the two of you spend apart. Something to dream about on a cramped bunk bed on a carrier in the middle of the ocean when he is thousands of miles away from you.

You and your pleased smile and your hand on his cock.

There’s no way he could have prepared himself for the way you lean over him and lick up the length of him with a broad stroke of your tongue.

You’ve got one hand at the base of him and the other braced on his thigh supporting you. He’s clutching at the rim of that damn bucket of popcorn like it’s a lifeline as you drop wet, open mouthed kisses along his cock.

His pulse is thrumming in his throat and he can’t quite remember how to push the air out of his lungs. He’s had years of learning specialized breathing techniques and it all flies out of his mind at the stroke of your hand and the bob of your head and the swirl of your tongue.

Bradley is desperate to see you face, there’s nothing he loves more than looking into your eyes when you’re treating him to your perfect mouth. It’s not possible at this angle, but he gathers your hair into his fist so that he can see your lips stretched around him. He’s not guiding your motions, he just wants a better look at you. Even in the dimly lit auditorium, he can see how spit-slicked you’ve gotten him.

You’re taking as much of him as you can, with each dip of your head more and more of him disappears into your hot mouth.

And when he hits the back of your throat he nearly loses his mind.

“Jesus,” he curses up to the ceiling, throwing his head back and trying not to pant. Thankfully in time with some explosion on screen and he knows without a doubt that you’d done it at that moment on purpose.

You pull off of him and the string of spit glinting between your lips and his cock is going to fuel his one-handed fodder for the next month. He watches in rapt until its pulled taut enough to break. Your lips are shiny and wet, there’s a satisfied smile on your face as you take him in, still pumping him with your hand.

Your teeth graze his earlobe, and goosebumps erupt along his forearms. Your words hushed so that only he could hear them. Only meant for him. “God, Bradley, you’re so good to me. You’ve always been so good to me.”

“Sweet girl,” he whispers, roughly. His chest is tight with his sheer want of you.

You kiss his cheek, “Just enjoy the movie, Bradley.” Your hand is gliding up and down his shaft easily, your thumb skimming over his sensitive head on every upstroke.

Your tongue dips out to lave at the divot at the base of his neck and you nudge him with your nose in a silent request. He leans his head back along the red velvet seat and angles himself away to give you all the access to column of his throat. With his eyes tightly squeezed closed, every touch feels that much more heightened to him. Your hot breath on his throat is at stark contrast to the air conditioning wafting through the auditorium.

The feel of your lips mouthing and sucking and licking along him is worth any shit he’d get if he goes onto base on Monday wearing your handiwork on his neck. He’d do those extra push-ups with pride.

He looks down to where your hand is working him in smooth strokes, your fingertips not touching until they reach the from ridge of the head of his cock. He knows he’s not small by any means, but in your hands he looks huge.

It feels so wrong and so right. The movie is loud enough to cover any slick sounds your hand is making and the other person is far enough away that there’s no way the two of you will be caught, not above the surround sound of screeching tires on pavement and the shattering of glass.

Your lips graze his ear, “You always know just what I need and what to say. You make feel so seen and so special.” With every generous word, his heart hammers harder and harder against his ribs. Your sweet voice and your hand working his cock have him dizzy with need. “And it’s not just me. I don’t miss the way you check to see if anyone else needs a drink before you go to get another one or the way you’re always the first to help when someone needs an extra set of hands. It’s so hot the way you take care of everyone.”

Bradley’s face feels warm, he’s sure he’s flushed pink. He’s trying to keep his breathing under control, but you’re making it difficult for him. He’s never shied away from the praise that comes with his career, he’s worked and sacrificed for that. But with you, he never wants to stop earning it from you.

“You’re so damn handsome,” you hum, your lips brushing over one of the scars on his neck, the ones he’s never told you the full story about just how he got them. “I’ve never been so desperate for someone before, I want you all the time. I didn’t know it could be like this, Bradley. I lo-like you so much.”

He breathes your name unevenly.

He didn’t realize how hungry he was for those three words from you until just now. He’s loved you his whole life, in the affectionate way that friends do, but it’s been increasingly clear to him over these last few months that he is also in love with you.

Bradley already knew he was never going to feel the same way about anyone else the way he feels about you.

He’s never felt more himself than he does with you. You know the best parts of him and the worst, you’ve been there and seen it all. He doesn’t have to just be Rooster or Lieutenant Bradshaw all the time. He can just be.

It’s never been like this for him before either. He’s always orbited around your sun, but now you’re his whole universe.

He loses himself to the sound of your voice and pretty praise, soft and low, and to the feel of your lips and tongue on his skin as you work his cock in the way that he knows is going to have him seeing stars soon.

Bradley can feel your grin against his neck right before you drag your teeth down the column of his throat, “No one has ever fucked me as good as you do. I’ve never come so hard as I do with you.”

He has to swallow down the groan that almost escapes him as he jerks into your hand as a tidal wave of masculine pride crashes into him.

Damn right you do.

You are his girl.

He knows your body. He knows you.

His. His. His.

Yours. Yours. Yours.

A cough from the front of the auditorium startles the both of you. The tension makes his throat tight, but when it’s followed by a sniffle rather than a second more pointed noise, the two of you know you’re safe to continue.

“Bradley.” He can hear the request in the way you say his name. With no minimal effort, he cracks his eyes open and turns his head to you. Half of your pretty face is illuminated by the movie playing in front of the two of you.

Holding his gaze, you slowly stick your shiny, pink tongue out to him and he almost comes on the spot.

He can see the playful dare in your eyes and the wicked curve of the corners of your mouth around your waiting tongue.

You know exactly what you are doing to him. A menace, his favorite menace.

His favorite person.

Bradley leans over and cups your jaw in his hand, his thumb skimming along your cheek right before he spits into your open mouth.

You let him admire his handiwork for a moment and then you wink at him.

It’s in that instant that he knows he’s played right into your winning hand because you’re leaning back down over his cock and letting the combination of his spit and yours drip right on to the top of him.

The two of you watch as the thick dribble slowly slides off and down, down guided by the thick vein along the length of him.

When it reaches the base of his cock, your mouth is chasing after it as you take him right down to the hilt.

His stomach and thighs are tensing with the strain of holding himself back when you hollow your cheeks around him. He almost doesn’t want to give in just yet, but the feel of your soft lips and the firm strokes of your hand on him is just too good.

That pressure that has been steadily building behind his bellybutton is too hard to ignore. He’s so close now. You must be able to tell he’s right there too because you’re humming around him in that way that makes his lower stomach and inner thighs coil in anticipation. He reaches for your leg, driven by the overwhelming need to touch you. Bradley can feel all your soothing warmth through your painted on jeans under his palm.

And with a tricky twist of your wrist at the base of his cock as you tongue at the firm ridge of him, he spills into your perfect mouth as you finish him off.

Bradley’s mind goes blank with pleasure as it hits him like a sucker punch.

It’s intense. It’s a rush. It’s all because of you.

Spent and sated he melts further into the comfortable movie theater seat as you clean what cum you couldn’t swallow with your tongue, laving at him until you were content before tucking him back into his boxer briefs.

He doesn’t know how he made it through that without sending that giant bucket of popcorn to the floor, but the rim of it is noticeable crumbled on one side. He balances it on his leg as he adjusts himself and rebuttons his jeans.

When he looks over at you, you’re popping a Milk Dud into your mouth like a prize for a job well done. And you grin widely at him.

“C’mere,” he murmurs, affectionately pulling you back to him. He kisses the top of your head as you tuck yourself into his chest, that box of candy clutched in your hand.

The rest of the movie passes in a hazy blur as his heartrate returns to normal while he plays with the ends of your hair.

He tries offering you the popcorn again, but once again you push it away. This time he does laugh and you tilt your head up and press a soft kiss at the base of his throat. He can’t help but smile to himself every time you hold up one of the chocolate-covered caramel candies up for him to eat, your eyes never leaving the screen.

And this time, he’s not even annoyed when they misidentify the Immelmann Turn for a Barrel Roll Attack. Although how they got a Pontiac Fiero airborne is still beyond him.

When the man in the front row leaves as the credits start rolling he turns to you, “Well, you were right, sweet girl. I think that might be my new favorite movie.”

Your smile is beaming, but your laugh is even brighter.

He still can’t believe that just happened, but he’s already planning to preorder the damn collector’s edition Blu-ray the second he can. “Can I ask what brought that on?”

“You keep trying to get handsy with me at the library, but you know I can’t desecrate the books. Knowledge is power, Bradley. But I figured this was something you might like too.”

“Are you telling me you brought me here for the sole purpose of getting me off in the back row, kid?

“I am and I did,” you preen.

Bradley chuckles and leans over for a kiss. It’s soft and sweet.

He pulls away and looks into your eyes, grinning he asks, “So you like me, huh?” He knows he’s probably pressing his luck, but he’s willing to take a gamble if it means he gets to hear that from you again.

You press you lips together trying to fight back your own smile, “I’m not saying those three words to you for the first time after blowing you in the back row of an AMC, Bradshaw.”

“Is it just the AMC then?” he teases, setting his bucket of popcorn to the side before pulling you into his lap. Your knees balanced on the seats to either side of him as you settle on him, “Because we could hit up a Regal if that’s more your speed. Or-”

“Bradley,” you laugh, trying to cover his mouth with your hand.

He catches it in his and presses a quick kiss to your palm, “And what if I told you I like you too? Would that change anything?”

It’s no secret what he really means. He knows what almost slipped out of your mouth. But if you’re not quite ready to say it then he can be patient. You’re more than worth the wait.

Bradley sees the way your eyes light up and the way your smile gets even wider only a sliver of a second before you’re ducking down to eagerly kiss him.

For a moment he feels like he is a teenager again, making out with his girlfriend in the back of a movie theater without anyone around. Wild and reckless and carefree.

Your hands slide up his chest and into his hair, your nails on his scalp have him sinking further into the seat. His hands grip your ass, just like the way he’s by dying to touch you since he saw you in them this morning. He takes advantage of your gasp to slide his tongue against yours. He didn’t know that happiness tasted like the Cherry Coke you had been sipping on, but it does and he can’t get enough of it.

He probably would have kept on kissing you if it were for the pointed clearly of a throat that has the two of you flying apart like you’ve both been electrocuted. The teen standing in the aisle just awkwardly lifts up the broom and dust pan.

You bite your lip to keep from giggling at getting caught as you scramble off of his lap collecting your things, hastily shoving the candy back in your purse and babbling a sorry, sorry that he personally didn’t think sounded too terribly apologetic. He’s quick to follow your lead, checking his pockets to make sure he still had his wallet and keys, not forgetting to grab that large cardboard popcorn bucket as you head for the double doors to the auditorium.

The two of you manage to keep it together until the swinging door closes behind and then you’re bursting out into a fit of laughter in the hallway.

“Oh my god, Bradley, I’m mortified,” you giggle into his chest, “We can never come back here.”

“Nah, I’m sure that’s not the first time that kid has busted people for necking in the back row. Plus this is the best reviewed AMC in the area,” he says with a grin, dropping his arm over your shoulders. “Hey, I’ve still got at least half a bucket of popcorn left should we make it a double feature? I’m more than happy to return the favor. Those jeans of yours might make it a little difficult, but I’m up for the challenge.” He gives you a playfully suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows.

“Maybe next time,” you grin, reaching up and threading your fingers through his to tug him towards the exit. “I am worried we might be arrested for public indecency if we stay here a second longer.”

He tosses the popcorn bucket into the trash as the two of you pass by the concession stand on your way out.

“Ok, kid, but I have to know, why did you order the biggest size they had if you weren’t going to eat it too? We both know you hate movie theater popcorn.”

“You’re not allowed to tease me if I tell you.”

“I promise not to tease you,” he says holding open the door for you.

“I thought it might help to block any potential wandering eyes,” you admit, blushingly, “Just in case, there was any last-minute Kevin Hart super fans who wanted to go to a matinee first thing in the morning.”

He tips his head back and laughs, “She’s smart and pretty.”

“And you like me for it,” you say, squeezing his hand in yours.

“Oh, I more than like you for it, sweet girl,” he confirms.

Any other plans he had for the day are forgotten when you press him against the Bronco for another thorough kiss.

It was a miracle the two of you weren’t late meeting Penny and Mav later that night.

He still wants to get a new dresser, he wants you to have a place to put things in his home. But if his girlfriend wants to spend the rest of their Saturday in bed together, who is he to deny you.

Not when he knows you like him.

You don’t make him wait long to hear it though.

They are the first three words he heard out of your mouth the next morning.

And it is without a doubt the best thing he’s ever heard in his life.

Nothing has ever felt as easy or as right to him as it does saying it back to you against your smiling lips.

I love you I love you I love you I love you

Shout out to the AMC Chula Vista 10! They're the real MVP here. Bradley and Sweet Girl definitely return, and the next time she wears a dress 🤗

A big thank you to Jordan (@gretagerwigsmuse) for being the ultimate hype girl, I know when the vibes are right when the ALL CAPS come out. Ames (@laracrofted) you saved the day with the color edit for the banner, thank you! And Elle (@callsignspark), you know what you did and I thank you for letting me join you on the 'spit in my mouth' agenda, haha!

If you enjoyed these two, you can read their story from the start here!

You can read my other stories here!

Tag list:

@gretagerwigsmuse @sehnsuchts-trunken @notroosterbradshaw @tongue-like-a-razor @laracrofted @bradshawsbitch @starryeyedstories @top-hhun-main @startrekfangirl2233 @callsign-viper @teacupsandtopgun @shanimallina87 @angelbabyange @oneelleandaneye @mizzzpink @cornishkat @alana4610 @20th-centu-fairy-girl @pono-pura-vida @donttouchmycarrots @eg-dr3amer3 @whaledots-blog @a-beaverhausen @hangmanscoming @mandolin22 @theweekndhistorybook @lilpeekabooze @high-bi-imgonnacry @ahintofkiwistrawberry @ruewrote @spiderman-stilinski @jayniebop @my-soulmate-is-mycroft @imaginecrushes @keyrani @chicomonks @artemissunn @mayempress @eddiemunsonreader

#bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw fanfiction #bradley bradshaw imagine #bradley bradshaw x you #bradley bradshaw x female reader #top gun fanfiction #top gun imagine #bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster x reader #rooster x you #rooster x female reader #bradley rooster bradshaw x reader #bradley rooster bradshaw x you #bradley rooster bradshaw x female reader #bradley rooster bradshaw fanfiction #bradley rooster bradshaw imagine

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madnessr · 1 year

Text

Last Night

Poly Lost Boys + Michael x Reader

Synopsis: You remembered the day you died vividly, and what had started as one of the best nights of your life quickly turned sour.

Summary: Micheals Ex-Girlfriend received a concerning phone call from Lucy begging her to come and check up on a now distant and unrecognizable Micheal. But what was meant to be a simple reunion and check-in, instead leads to four very rambunctious bikers and an old lover, to be extremely opposed to letting you leave again.

Warning: Suggestive moments, cursing, nonconsensual turning.

Word Count: 6.9k

Part two

The bustling chatter filled the packed room like music, unrelenting as some patrons laughed louder while others cheered softer. Every customer that walked in was rambunctious and different in their own unique way. Although becoming a bartender differed from how you had always pictured your future, ditching your home life was worth every tip and penny you earned throughout the night.

You were a good actor; that's one noteworthy little fact you learned about yourself after a few weeks. Wiping dry a martini glass, your chuckles, greetings, and mischievous remarks almost felt unfamiliar to you as you entertained the customers.

But when the lights dimmed, casting a gentle orange hue against every surface of the bar. The acting, the gestures, and the remarks all began feeling natural.

It left you with a sweet sense of satisfaction, like pushing in the last puzzle piece. But, although the usuals felt more comfortable, you still weren’t to open to the idea of becoming closer to anyone. For all you knew, these people were just here for a drink.

One visit turned into two, then three, until you could recite everyone's orders and names. Your life gradually followed the same schedule as clockwork, checking in either during the morning shifts like Monday, Tuesday, and Saturday instead of staying for the wild nightlife like Wednesday, Thursday, and Sunday. A small bell was hanging above the door, giving you and your occasional coworker a heads-up whenever a new patron entered the bar. It was easy to get overwhelmed, the loud bumbling chatter nearly drowning out the music playing. Drunks laughed and cheered with rosy-cheeked grins; others decided to rough-house until Pablo kicked them out.

Filling a pint of beer for your usual customer, you nearly missed the soft chin of bells as someone new entered. The door swung open, and in came a blonde biker who took your breath away. Pulling at your strings as if he was some violinist, plucking at the cords until your chatter turned utterly harmonious. It was like a strange pull, a tugging, nudging aching within your racing heart that simply needed him there. It both excited you and disturbed you. Your banter with the biker didn't last long; he ordered four bottled beers, his gaze never wavering as you shuffled past your coworker making some margaritas for a group of girls as you grabbed the beers out of the freezer and handing them over before grabbing his cash. "You new here?" You finally asked, and you weren't exactly sure what to expect, but his voice matched his looks perfectly.

You snickered, leaning over the bar. Phoenix had some exciting faces to offer, all styles and types. But it was rare you found one that was this attractive.

The biker shrugged; a type of smugness hung across his features. A simple look in his eyes gave you another clue, the man was higher than a kite. "Just haven't seen such a pretty face around in a while." He tapped his hand on the counter with a slight chuckle, stepping back as he waved before walking out the door. You chuckled, shaking your head in amusement as you focused on the other customers. Though, you couldn't quite keep the blonde out of your head.

Not even when your shift ended, wiping a gray-soaked washcloth across the counters and tables. Your coworker cleaned and mopped the floors before you both clocked out. You entered the employee's room, grabbing your belongings before exiting through the back door. You hopped in your car, the streets still thriving, but you only lived several blocks away from the teenage hotspot when things began to gradually cool down. Luckily that's where your shabby little hut came into view.

It wasn't perfect, but decent, and the rent was cheap, so you weren't gonna complain. Parking your bike, you walked up your porch. The old wood creaking underneath your steps, shuffling to grab your keys, you couldn't shake the feeling that someone was watching you. Turning to glance around, you rushed to open the door before entering your safe and humble abode. You locked the door, kicking off your shoes with a sigh as you walked towards your bedroom. You felt a little sluggish now that you were free to be, removing your clothes and hopping in the shower. The piping hot water felt heavenly across your skin, and if you weren't so damn hungry, you would've stayed longer. Loose pajamas, some fluffy socks, and you walked back into the kitchen, heating up some leftovers from the previous night and popping open a can of beer.

You were a rather heavy drinker, one bottle often turned to three, and three would often multiply sooner rather than later. Some people might have called you an alcoholic, but you didn't really mind. Alcohol was your ambrosia, and god fucking dammit, were you willing to die for that nectar. You were on your way to grab the third beer of the night when you heard a small thump against the window.

You found it odd that a bird would hit your window, especially since they weren't nocturnal. But as you wandered over and slid open the window, you watched as a bat squeaked at you. Blonde fluffy fur as it flew away in a rush. You didn't necessarily like bats, but you didn't hate the critters, either. This was your first time seeing one in real life, your eyes flicking to the tree a few feet away from your window. There on the bottom branch, hung the monster, making you laugh. "Sorry, Dracula, the bar closed two hours ago." You were about to close the window wanting to grab your last beer and finish up your movie before heading to bed.

But you halted as you watched the bat struggle on its branch, sloppily falling off and hitting the floor with a small thud. You frowned; you might not know much about bats, but they sure as hell avoided being on the ground. You hesitated before grabbing a towel and an empty shoe box; perhaps, if you were lucky enough, the bat would have flown away by the time you got to it. But unfortunately, the small little bundle of blonde fur still lay frozen on the ground. Sighing, you carefully scoop it up with the towel and lay it in the box before heading back inside.

You sat the box on the kitchen table, sitting down and taking a proper look at the thing. "You must've hit your little head when banging into the window.." You muttered, watching it stare back at you lazily. Whenever it tried to waddle its way out of the box, its little body swayed before eventually tumbling back into the fluffy fabric.

"Looks like you're stuck with me for the night, little guy." You cooed, a small smile tugging at your lips. It let out a small squeak. If you didn't know any better, you would say the bat understood you, turning around and grabbing an apple and a simple cutting knife. You sliced off a small piece, laying it in the box. You didn't know what the hell bats ate, and you weren't going to go out of your way to try and find some insect in your yard, so an apple slice will have to do for now.

Grabbing the box once more, you moved to your bedroom, entering the bathroom through a joined door. You set the box down, waving at the small bat before turning off the lights and closing the door. You got yourself settled and lay down, turning off your bedside lamp and letting out a content sigh. But then you heard it, the muffle whining and whimpers of the small creature in your bathroom. Letting out a groan, you tried covering your face with a pillow to try and drown out the noise, but it was a fruitless endeavor. Getting up with a huff, you turned on the light once more before moving over. You opened the door, flicking on the light as you watched it try and waddle towards you. "Can't you be quiet?" You groan, rubbing your temples.

However, you couldn't help but notice the silence once you had actually acknowledged the bat again, rolling your eyes at its strange antics. "Look, I can't give you attention all night. I need to sleep." You argue, watching the little creature climb up your foot and use its little claws and wings to crawl up your body.

Perhaps it was the previous drink, or your clear disregard for your own sense of self preservation, but you walked back to your bedroom with a shrug. If the little guy just had to sleep with you, then so be it. Sure, the thing could have rabies for all you new but the moment your aching feet lifted themselves onto your soft mattress; you no longer cared.

"Night night, Dracula." You snickered, closing your eyes and falling into a hollow state of peace.

Walking up, once again alone, fills you with a familiar sense of loneliness. You look around for your little companion, but you simply couldn't find him. You opened all of your windows in case you missed the little guy hiding somewhere before walking down into your kitchen for breakfast. You'd never admit it out loud, but having broken up with your long-term boyfriend, Michael, was rough on you. Half the time, you wallow in alcohol and self-loathing, spending any free time working and trying your damn hardest to move on. The relationship's end wasn't anyone's fault, really; when his father's divorce was finally settled, Michael needed to be with his mom, she needed him during this time, and you couldn't blame him for leaving with you. Looking back on it, you both could've made it work somehow, the long distance, but neither of you two found yourself to really fight for that option.

Sipping on your morning coffee was your ritual, reminiscing about your short past, a daily activity. But today, you were interrupted by the obnoxious sound of your phone ringing. Getting up and plucking the phone from the wall, your body tensed at the sweet sound of Lucy, Michaels's mother. She was the kindest person you knew, a relaxed parent that focused on a kid's trust rather than forcing the truth out from your experience.

"Hey honey, how have you been?" Her familiar, parental tone hummed over the phone. The sound tugged a smile across your lips. "Dandy, what about you, Lucy?" You knew better than to know Lucy wasn't just calling to check in with you, and although every fiber of your being wanted to cut to the chase, you managed to stay polite. Lucy let out a hum, happy with your answer. "I'm good—we're all good. But, listen, I'm sorry to call you for this, but it's about Michael." You nodded, although you knew she couldn't see you; you stayed silent, asking her to continue. "He's changed, distant. He hasn't been the same, and Sam says he's been involved with some worrisome people. I know it's a lot, but I can't help but worry. He won't talk to me, but he'll talk to you. I'll provide you with a room and everything; just please check in for me."

You could tell she was pleading; her tone was very clear with that. But could you really do this? You and Michael broke up, but you've been together since freshman year. You knew his family, and he knew yours; even if you weren't together anymore, you were still friends. With a long sigh, you rubbed your temples.

"Alright, I'll be there."

You don't plan on staying long, glancing at the backseat of your car where a small suitcase sits. You brought the essentials, but since it was summer regardless, you wanted to consider this a short beach-side vacation for yourself as well. It made coming to Santa Carla more reasonable.

Following the address Lucy promptly gave you afterward, you drove up the narrow driveway to an old-looking house. It must've been a generational home bought in the 40s if you had to guess. The sun was already setting by the time you arrived; stepping out of the car, you were greeted by an excited Lucy. However, you knew her better than that. The small stress wrinkles give away how worried she must've actually been.

She embraced you in a big bear-like hug, making you chuckle as she brought you in for some coffee. You sat inside, shielded by the hot California sun, as you stirred some creamer into your coffee. You two sat in the kitchen, a small desk separate from the main dining table.

"So, care to tell me a little more about what's been happening?" You ask, knowing that if you avoided the subject, so would Lucy. She let out a sigh, rubbing her temples as she nearly deflated before you.

"You know it's been hard for them—the divorce. Sam wasn't that close with his father; I'm afraid he experienced a more absent father figure than Micheal did. No, Micheal grew up with everything being perfect; I had a good marriage, and he had a good father and a stable home life." Lucy hummed, taking a long sip of her coffee.

"I know it wasn't easy for them. For any of us, really, but as a parent, I can't help but wonder. Did I do the right thing? Was Santa Carla really what the boys needed?"

You weren't exactly sure what to say; both you and Michael were adults at this point and were mature enough to have a conversation like this. But before Lucy was your friend, she had been more of a mother figure for you. Seeing her struggle so much makes you frown, a heaviness tugging at your lips. People really could be awful sometimes. You grabbed her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze as you smiled at her.

"Listen, I know being a parent is hard. But you're a good mom, okay? You have been since the start. But you need to listen; this move wasn't just for them. It was for you as well. You suffered a shitty divorce and dealt with an even worse ex-husband. You deserve this new start; let me handle Michael; I'm sure he'll come around." You watched as small tears seemed to prickle at her eyes, "Oh you!" She sang before pulling you into a hug. "I've missed you." She added, rubbing small circles on your back. You couldn't help but smile, not saying it but letting the small squeeze you returned to the hug speak for you.

The sun had already set as you managed to unpack your things in the guest room, tackling Sam in a big-old sibling-like hug before heading to the boardwalk with him. Lucy had left a few hours earlier for work, which is where you were headed now. Sam led the way as he filled you in on Micheals's behavior. To say you were concerned now was an understatement; nothing Micheal did now made sense. This wasn't like him.

You walked over to the Videotape store and found Lucy glancing at the videotapes decorating the walls. You walked around, glancing at the movies that might interest you. You eventually ended up in the same aisle as a brown biker, someone who vaguely reminded you of the blonde one you met days ago. You were about to pick up The Shining when the man interrupted.

"You new here?" He eventually asked, his gaze lingering for an unusually long time. You struggled, letting out a dry chuckle. "That obvious, huh?" You hummed, feeling more at ease. The man was more stoic than you were used to, but the moment you heard his own amused chuckling, your tense shoulders gradually dropped. The man was mesmerizing, a special charm in every little trinket and clothes covering him. You felt an annoying sense of deja vu, feeling your heart push and pull your subconscious self towards this man. To gush about his leather jacket or talk about anything else for hours. He seemed to smile, catching your lingering gaze before clearing his throat and pointing towards one of the videotapes. "The Shining's good, but if you're into that, I'd recommend The Thing and Nightmare on Elms Street too." All you could do was nod, spinning around when you saw Lucy. She smiled at the brunette, handing you something as you rushed out of the shop. Any tapes and movies are utterly forgotten, and you search for space. You made brief eye contact with the man Lucy had been talking, feeling unsettled by him.

You walked along the patios of the shops lining the boardwalk; they were lightly covered in sand. A grainy texture underneath your shoes. You sat there for a moment before your eyes caught the sight of a familiar head of messy brown hair.

Jumping to your feet, you were off. Not sparing anyone a second glance, not until you were about to reach Micheal. You could feel it, that nostalgic giddiness you usually felt whenever you and Micheal met, but during that time, you were still together. You could jump into his arms and kiss his dimpled cheek; the sudden realization that you hadn't actually seen the brunette since you broke up made your heart squeeze. Seeing him felt more real, and the growing realization that nothing would ever be the same again made the air feel heavy.

You paused as you saw a girl with bouncy curls rush over to him, a small boy close behind as she linked their arms. You hadn't realized until then that a part of you was still clinging onto a foolish, utterly bitter sense of hope that things could return to the way they were. You couldn't have been more foolish, the excitement within you replaced with a heavy knot in the pit of your stomach. You wanted to turn around, run away, and drink until you cough your lungs out on some empty street bench. But you couldn't; you weren't here for Michael or yourself; you were here for Lucy's sake.

Taking in a deep breath, you walked over and cleared your throat. Michael had walked up to a group of guys, two of whom you recognized. They turned to you, four eyes curiously staring at one, another pair looking upset, and lastly, Michaels were surprised.

“Y/N?”

"The one and only." You rolled your eyes, trying to retain a sense of normality despite your emotional turmoil. The hippy-look-alike glanced between you two, taking an almost protective step in front of Micheal. "Who are you?"

Before Micheal could answer, you beat him to it. "A friend." You mused, shaking her hand. "I'm Y/N, an old childhood friend from Phoenix." She seemed to relax at the information, nodding with a gentle smile. "I'm Star, Micheal's girlfriend."

Hiding your soft grimace, you nodded with a strained smile.

"What are you doing here, Y/N?"

"Not going to introduce us first, Mikey?" The smooth voice hummed out, but the tone was laced with something else. You couldn't place it, but it almost sounded dissatisfied. You couldn't really answer before Micheal grabbed your arm, a bit too tight for your liking. "Stay out of it, David."

Micheal dragged you away, taking advantage of your stunned state. You suddenly understood what Sam and Lucy had been worrying about. Micheal didn't act like that, at least not for the past few years you've known him. He shoved and pushed his way through the crowd, though that wasn't very hard considering how the people practically split just to avoid you two. He didn't look back at you, nor did his grip loosen until you two were somewhere at the end of the boardwalk; the crowd lessened with every meter.

When you finally came to a stop, you were suddenly pulled into a tight hug. One of his arms snaked around your waist, a grip firm but gentle. His other hand had tangled itself in your hair, practically cradling your head as he nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck.

If you didn't have whiplash from the sudden rushing, you definitely had some now from the abrupt affection. He seemed to be, inhaling you? "Micheal." You nudged his chest, finally able to separate yourself from a very unwilling brunette.

"What are you doing here, Y/N?" His voice was gentle, careful even. As if you'd run away again, which was odd since you weren't the one who left.

"I came to visit you; I see you've made some new friends.." You wandered over to the railing, hopping on carefully.

"Yeah, a lot's happened." He murmured, rubbing his neck to relieve his phantom discomfort. You nodded, silently asking him to go on. "Your family's worried about you; what's been going on, Mikey?" You nudged further, wanting to get to the core of the problem. You couldn't try and help if you didn't know what the hell was going on, but your prodding seemingly did the opposite as Michael became visibly more uncomfortable. Shifting his weight from one leg to the other, rubbed his neck and brushed his fingers through his hair.

"I know, I know—a lot has been going on. I just can't tell you about it." He settled on that answer, getting closer before resting beside you. He leaned his forearms against the railing, glancing at the ocean.

"Will you be staying here for long?" You could tell he was trying to change the subject but ultimately decided that patience was the key in this situation. But apart, small and subtle, I enjoyed the way his question almost sounded pleading.

"Mhm, took a few weeks off for vacation. Lucy's giving me her spare room; I hope you don't mind." He shook his head, his signature crooked smile tugging at his lips. "Nah, I'm glad. Haven't spent any time with my girl in a while."

"Your girl?"

He stuttered at that, "I mean—you know, guess that kinda just slipped." He seemed embarrassed, but you weren't gonna have it. What about Star?

"Don't you have a girlfriend?"

"Star? No, she isn't my girlfriend. It's complicated, but we haven't ever really gotten official." He explained, rubbing his temples at the thought.

You nodded, "Then don't call me your girl Micheal. We broke up; I'm your friend. Please remember that." You reminded him as gently as you could, noticing the subtle flash of pain across his features before he nodded.

Feeling the sudden heaviness in the air, you frowned, looking around as you thought of a way to change the subject. "So, who exactly are your friends?"

"Allow me to take charge of this one, Micheal." A deep, familiar voice mused. The blonde mullet-wearing dude always seemed like a cat, sneaky and quiet but always in the mood to toy with something, in this case, someone.

"Since our Mikey seemed to hide you from us, which is awfully rude of you. I'll take charge from here." He stepped closer, glancing you over. He had an odd look in his eyes and almost seemed angry with Michael for taking you away. However, before the blonde could talk, a rocker look-like, the man you had sworn you saw in your bar prior bounced up beside you and slung his arm around your shoulder.

You ignored the tingles you felt when your bare skin met his but instead chucked it up to your lack of action recently. "I'm Paul, sweetheart!" He stared at you for a bit too long for comfort before moving on. "That's Marko, David, and the brooding guy over there is little ol' Dwayne."

"Why did Dwayne get an extra introduction, and I'm just Marko?" You couldn't help but chuckle at the banter, feeling like the group was awfully playful. So what was the problem? You could see Micheal having a good time with them, so why the sudden change.

"Well, I'm Y/N. Michael's, old friend." You formally introduced, not expecting much, but Dwayne nodded. All of them seemed to be in their own world, Dwayne appearing the most interested. Had you known how focused they actually were on you, analyzing your heart beat, body language, anything they could grasp onto you would've run.

"What brings you to Santa Carla Y/N." David leaned against the railing, his cold gaze curious. "Seems like a pretty far distance to go for just a friend." He added, and at that moment, you got the sense that you just couldn't lie to David. That cold, icy gaze practically looked through you. As if he's had years of experience understanding human behavior, it unnerved you.

"Well, I'm also here for a vacation." You laughed nervously, rubbing the back of your neck.

He gave you a look that simply screamed that he didn't believe you before moving on. "Are you gonna be staying here for long, sugar?" Marko took you out of that uncomfortable situation, making you nod with a hum. "Depends on what you consider long, but I'll be here for a few weeks."

"Well, we ought' to show you around here then. Show you all Santa Carla's got to offer!" Marko hollered, which received agreeing gazes from everyone except Micheal, who appeared rather upset. But you were here, and what better way to understand Micheal than by meeting his friends. "The hell with it." You mused, a grin tugging at your lips at the cheers and eager looks around you.

So, you explored Santa Carla just like Marko had said. Practically losing your soul during the fast carnival rides, winning petty prizes, eating greasy food, fucking with surfer nazis, and stealing some things here and there. So now you were here, surrounded by the starry sky and the roaring ocean. A campfire crackling on the sand as you were sitting in between Michael and Dwayne. With a beer bottle in hand, everyone seemed relaxed despite the playful fighting happening between Paul and Marko.

"So, tell me a little about yourself. How'd you come to know our boy Mikey here?" David had been on your ass since you met; he didn't let your lie slide earlier, even if he hadn't acknowledged it. He was so eager to know about the true nature between you and Micheal, and at the question, you couldn't help but notice Star perk up beside Micheal.

"Nothin' much to tell, I'm afraid. I met Michael when he was interning at his father's mechanics shop when I finally got a car from my old man, only to have it break down on me several weeks later. That is where we met." You glanced at Michael, seeing a faint smile tug on his lips as he seemingly played with the sand.

"I was new, and he offered me a tour around town. One thing led to another, and we became friends. Didn't get together until what, junior year? Yeah, around that time." You add, watching as Paul and Marko suddenly stop rough-housing. "Wait, you two were together?" Paul asked, staring between your two. "You said you were just friends," Marko added, an odd glint in his eyes. You shrugged, taking a quick swig of your beer.

"We are just friends, Mikey and I broke up when he left for Santa Carla." You glanced at the brunette, seeing the way his smile had dissolved. There was a glaze to his eyes as if he was somewhere else completely. You understood; perhaps that's why you guys got together in the first place. You simply understood Michael, the way he was currently dancing with you again in his memories. It was apparent to you.

"Ah." The sound of David's stern hum of acknowledgment made you turn your attention back to the group of boys. They all seemed to be in thought, but none looked too pleased with your previous relationship. "Been happily single ever since—well, I haven't really been looking, to be honest." You added, trying to lighten the mood.

"Oh, you hear that, boys?" Paul grinned, getting up and moving behind you. He rested his hands on your shoulder, leaning down to rest his chin on the top of your head. "She's open for the taking!"

"That is not what I meant—"Before you could finish your sentence, Paul and Marko picked you up. They cheered as they ran towards the inky black ocean water, grinning to themselves as Paul held your hands and Marko your feet. They swung you threateningly over the water's edge. Your screams were filled with laughter as they grinned.

"What do you say, Paul? Should our little sunflower get a drop in the ocean for lying to us?" Paul grinned a mischievous cat-like grin. Glancing at Marko, the expression was practically mirrored. "I don't know, Paulie; maybe she should. Wash off all of that Michael stench off of her."

"Don't drop me! Fuck you, seriously. Don't you dare!" You warned, trying to wiggle yourself out of their death grip.

"Nah, threats won't work on us, honey. Maybe a reward will work, hmm. What do you think, Paul?"

"I think a kiss ought' to do it," Paul answered, glancing between you and his devil-like companion. "Couldn't agree more."

"Fine, fine, have your stupid kiss but let me down!"

As if on cue, they synced up. "If you say so!" Marko cheered as, with a powerful swing, they threw you over and into the water. You let out a shrill screech, landing in the water ungraciously. Once you popped back up, you glared at the two.

Wincing as you tried to get up, you promptly plopped back into the water with a splash. They heard you loud and clear, and Michael was already by Marko and Paul's side. David and Dwayne followed, but not as quickly.

"You okay, sugar?" Paul asked, frowning as you shook your head. You held out a hand to him, silently asking for help to get up. When he walked over to you, not minding his now wet boots. He grabbed your hand, not expecting you to harshly tug him down and into the water with you.

You cackled, wanting to commit the blonde's dumbfounded expression to memory. "Damn girl, you made me worried!" He explained, and Marko nearly doubled over laughing. He splashed you, wrapping his arm around your waist under the water. You froze, not expecting the contact. "That was rather evil of you, sunflower," he mused, in a tone far too low and husky than you had expected coming from the rocker-wannabe.

"And throwing me into the water, wasn't?" You mimicked, turning to glance at him. He laughed, pulling you closer. You could feel his breath taunting your skin; his gaze was all too narrow and lustful for your liking. He looked hungry, practically starved, as he grinned at you. "But I am evil, sunflower, and the one thing you can trust in a bad guy is that he'll always do something awful. It's the good ones you gotta be careful about," He hummed, his gaze shifting to your lips. He lifted his hand, cupping your jaw as he traced his thumb against your lip. "The good ones are a wild card, baby; you never know when they're finally gonna give in." He whispered, and at that moment, you knew he wasn't just talking about petty, mean deeds.

He was referring to you if the position you weren't in wasn't clear enough. However, before you could respond, Michael broke you two up. Unable to form a proper response, you followed your old friend, watching as he returned you to the rest of the group.

"What were they thinking? You'll catch your death being wet this late at night!" Micheal murmured as he complained, making you roll your eyes. "I'm fine; we were just having some fun." You defended, watching as Marko slung his arm around your shoulder. "Yeah, chill out, Mikey."

Dwanye seemed to agree with Micheal instead as he grabbed your hand and gently led you back to the campfire to warm up again. He didn't mind the sudden chill now; your body was still fired up from your earlier encounter with Paul. You felt a heavy cloth drape over your shoulders, glancing to see David's coat loosely set over you. He sat down beside you, handing you your previously abandoned beer bottle.

"Thanks," you smiled.

"It's already so late, yet you don't seem even the slightest bit tired. Do you usually stay up this late?" He asked though he didn't look at you at first. One of his hands loosely held a cigarette, letting a puff of smoke escape through his lips. His eyes focused on the blazing fire in front of you before gradually looking into your eyes. Once again, you could feel your ability to lie fade, not with such a dominating gaze practically reading you.

"I work at a bar most days of the week; you get used to late nights." You explained, being honest for once. He nodded, seemingly appreciating your bluntness.

"Doesn't sound like that's the safest job." Dwayne chimed in, an odd look of concern across his features. You weren't sure what to make of that look; you weren't close enough to garner that concern. But couldn't deny the fluttering in your stomach, fuck, how starved were you for affection?

"Neither is staying in Santa Carla, but here we are." You murmured, a little embarrassed at yourself for being so desperate. You couldn't really describe it, but being around them felt right. Having their attention felt right, and a part of you wanted to keep it. David chuckled at your answer, subtly resting his hand on your thigh.

"Yet here we are." He repeated, his deep voice sending shivers down your back.

"Fuck." You heard someone hiss loudly, everyone's gaze turning to Micheal, who was staring at his watch. "David, it's nearly sunrise." He cursed sternly, sending panicked looks across everyone except the leader. You were surprised yourself, having completely lost track of time. But you were a little confused as all the guys got up and guided you back to the pier.

"You guys got a curfew or something?" You asked, biting the inside of your cheek. Dwanye chuckled as he and the others walked over to their bikes. "Miss us already, sugar?" Paul hummed, getting on his bike. Micheal shook his head, taking your hand gently in his. He caressed the chilled hand with his thumb, and you couldn't help but notice that Micheals's hand was just as cold as yours. "We just have something we need to do; see you tomorrow?"

"You're not going home?" You asked, slightly surprised at the sudden change in atmosphere. "No, like I said, we have something planned." He seemed more nervous, rubbing his neck. A nervous tick he developed when Michael was lying. But you didn't feel like pushing, so you let go of his hand with a sigh.

He walked to his bike, the five starting their engines with a powerful roar. Paul and Marko wave as they drive off, Dwayne following. Michael stared longingly at you, starting his back before driving off too. David moved but promptly stopped before you. One of his feet resting on the floor. He caressed your cheek with his gloved hand, watching you carefully. You felt pulled as if the boy's leaving was pulling your heart along with them. "You think to much." David hummed teasingly, staring into your eyes. "Come back to the boardwalk tomorrow; I'll come and find you," he instructed, not leaving any room for debate.

"How'll you manage that?" You taunted, your breath hitching as he promptly leaned closer.

But instead of a snarky remark, his hand that rested on your cheek slid back. Tangling his fingers in your hair, keeping a firm grip on the back of your neck as he pulled you in for a searing kiss. Sparks flew, and you were sure you could have burnt yourself at the searing heat of the kiss. David wasn't gentle, and there was a dominating eagerness to his lips that commanded your utter acceptance. His teeth playfully nipped your bottom lip, pulling it slowly as he parted. You pulled away with lidded eyes, observing the same intoxicated look flash across David's features.

"See you tomorrow, baby." He chuckled, roaring his engine before leaving you. It took you several minutes to recuperate, walking back into the main center of the boardwalk.

Walking past a closing video store, you weren't really paying attention to your surroundings. The sound of a man's voice pulling you out of your daze, looking around your eyes connected with those of a middle-aged man. You recognized him as the video store owner, who must've said something to you.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" You asked, now focused on the man.

"I said you should stay away from those bikers; they're nothing but trouble." His words seemed stern, yet they had the unnerving power to upset you.

"Yeah, you know them or something?" You asked in an accusatory tone, hearing the man shake his head with a small sigh.

"You've got the same attitude as them; if it were up to me, I wouldn't let you in. But Lucy always wanted a daughter." The man's tone turned sadistic as he got closer, pushing you into a nearby alleyway. Panic shot through you, every fiber of your being screaming at you to run. Something was wrong, terribly wrong. But before your fight or flight response could kick in, you were knocked against the wall with such force the wind was knocked out of you. Leaving you disoriented and wheezing for air.

You felt his fangs graze your skin, a small sob escaping you. A fear of dying, hate for pain, and lingering betrayal being too much for your eyes to hold. What did Lucy have to do with this? You didn't deserve to die, not like this!

You were scared. One of your hands placed itself on his chest, clenching the fabric of his jacket between your fingers as you desperately tried pushing him away. Thrashing as much as you could. When the pain finally arrived, you winced harshly and gasped. The hold on the man's jacket grew tighter as his jaw clenched. It fucking hurt. Hurt like hell. But he refused to move, not wanting to make the feeling worse. The longer you stood there, the more accustomed you felt to the dull aching. It was an awful feeling, leaving you feeling dirty all over, but whatever was happening, it sparked hopes that you might get out of this alive.

You could feel particular sharp sparks of pain whenever you moved, shifting the puncture wounds. Your mind grew cloudy the longer he drank.

"Stop.." You whispered, the words sounding frail and weak. The man needed to stop. Your body was slowly growing light, the feeling of dizziness and sleepiness festering inside you. The hand holding onto him loosened its grip before slowly falling against your side. Your tears had stopped a few minutes ago, your cheeks glistening from the wetness. Your eyes grew dull in color, silently fighting yourself to stay awake. You could practically hear your heart hammering against your chest, each beat loud and overwhelming as it rang through your ears.

It felt like you were dying, and a part of you was convinced you actually were.

Your body was in a state of searing, burning pain. Your heartbeat rang like cathedral drums, harsh and loud before the sound turned quiet. One beat, a pause, then silence. Your body limp and cold, your lifeless body let the blood of its murderer wash down your tongue. Suddenly everything began to burn inside you; your mouth ached horribly, and your fingertips too. Your body felt freezing cold until some drop of relief washed over you, and through your mouth came a small stream of euphoria. Practically lighting your every fiber on fire. Your eyes opened, no longer their usual color but a vivid yellow. Your hand instinctively grabbed the man's wrist, your mind going blank as you sink your teeth into the crimson liquid.

A sigh of relief escaped you as you closed your eyes, swallowing greedily as you calmed the burning inside yourself. You didn't let the man budge, your new, sharpened nails practically digging into his forearm. You felt insatiable; no matter how hurriedly you lapped and sucked on the wound, you wanted more, more blood.

You didn't relent; you practically couldn't. But the urge to look up at your murderer was undeniable. You pulled away, a small trail of the man's blood trailing down the corner of your lips as you looked up at him. Large, doe-eyed hungry eyes stared up at him, the look of a pure predator.

You had died in that alleyway, after all; a part of you just knew that. With speed unrecognizable, you ran away, not sure where, but far, far, away from the boardwalk.

The next night, David and the others did not find you at the boardwalk. But none of them were just going to let you go like that, no, not when mates were so hard to find. It was hard enough for them to have let you go last night, and if it wasn't for the threat of the approaching sun, they wouldn't have. Their boardwalk princess was missing, and there would be hell to pay if they didn't find you soon.

976 notes · View notes

maliland · 5 months

Text

PLAY FAIR!

now playing: xo by beyoncé

barbie(s): e-1610 miles & black fem reader

includes: fluff & fake ass friends

synopsis: your day starts off a bit rocky when you're confronted with conflict concerning your friendships. your boyfriend cheers you up by taking you to the fair!

wc: 8358 (not including the bonus)

credz: @/firefly-graphics

a/n: first fluff fic yayay!! i lied abt when i was dropping this sooo many times, mb.. there's a bonus to make up for it. i hope u guys enjoy this and read VERY slowly bc idk when i'm dropping a fic next 🚶‍♀️ idk what i was doing here lowkey… i h8 everything but the bonus. (i'm biased i like angst better) lmk what y’all think of this tho 💞 ((i proof read but there might be mistakes))

mothers were always thought to have an intuition when it came to their children—some sort of sixth sense. the science behind it? well, there is none. none that’s been proven, anyway. that doesn’t stop some mothers from swearing that their second sight was legit. your mom was one of them, constantly giving her unwarranted two cents about people in your life who seemed harmless to you.

you felt blessed to have the mother you did. she was your best friend and your biggest cheerleader. she brought you up to be the girl you are today. without her, you didn't know who you'd be. not having a huge group of friends to be around 24/7 didn't really bother you as much as it would have if you didn't have her.

you’ve never felt like you needed to hide anything from your mom, but you did keep your crush on miles a secret for a hot minute. you'd never liked someone the way you liked him. you were shocked to discover that he like you too. when miles was ready to make things official, you knew you couldn't hide him from your mom anymore, so you didn't. she met him one saturday morning over breakfast, and to your surprise, she liked him. you were shocked she didn’t have anything condemnatory to say about your boyfriend, not because there was anything wrong with miles, but because your mom is overprotective of you.

growing up, you hadn’t always been the most sociable kid. all of the friends you had now found you and so did miles. that being said, your mom worried that people would take advantage of your built-in hospitality and youf kind heart. she watched out for certain things when you'd describe your interactions with people, then told you to watch out as well. although her overprotectiveness could be irritating more often than not, your mom had definitely helped you avoid trouble here and there.

growing up meant change. you weren't the biggest fan of change because of the risk that came with it. you had always preferred to stick to what you know—until this year. your fourth and final year of high school had you wanting to break out of your shell. the same few friends wouldn’t be there to keep you company when you graduate and go to different colleges, or hold your hand for the rest of your life. neither would your beloved mother. you had to hold your own hand.

you weren't sure how you were going to make friends, and you were too ashamed to ask anyone how to do so. thankfully, you didn't have to do much, because the friends you made came to you.

it started with a group chat with the five girls you had calculus with this year: tiesha, taraji, yanira, and adana. tiesha had created the chain so you all could send homework answers and test reviews back and forth. math was never your strong suit, so cheating was really the only reason you were passing. brief conversations about homework and how much you all hated the class turned into full blown conversations about boys and tv shows. minor comments about something annoying that someone did in class turned into major gossip sessions. you couldn't remember the last time you went a whole day without talking to those girls, whether it was one text message or twenty.

your mom told you she was excited that you had expanded your circle, but you could tell by the way her smile had slightly faltered that she was indeed irresolute. you knew you’d never understand her intuitive claims unless you had children of your own, and even then, you’d still doubt the phenomenon’s validity. it was just your nature to question everything.

presently, you were at a food court in the mall, sitting by yourself at one of the tables. every now and then, you’d glance up from your phone and see a group of friends or a couple pass by you.

you were supposed to hang out with yanira, taraji, adana, and tiesha, but it was almost one and none of them had showed up to the spot in the mall where you agreed to meet. every call you made went straight to voicemail. frustrated, you opened instagram to see if any of the girls were active. you raised a brow when you noticed the multicolored spiral around yanira’s profile picture at the top of your dash where stories were located. you tapped it just to be confronted with a boomerang of yanira, tiesha, adana, and taraji posing in a dressing room mirror. your eyes bored into the screen for a few seconds before you swiped out of instagram, treachery bubbling in your stomach. you released an exasperated sigh.

your mom was right. once again.

you glanced at a nearby tv on one of the walls in the food court and saw a picture of spider-man. you read the captions as they glided across the bottom of the screen, the clip of the hero fighting off a villain playing simultaneously. the news reporter narrated the highlights of the brawl and another one followed up his narration by concluding that spider-man had once again saved the city.

you smiled to yourself like a proud mother, then you thought about miles, not spider-man. you hadn’t talked to your boyfriend since the night before. as if he could read your mind, your phone buzzed against the table and lit up.

3 text messages @ 12:42pm

miles: hey, pretty girl (12:42pm) miles: i couldn’t text you this morning, i’m sorry (12:42pm) miles: villain of the week decided to get up early today (12:42pm)

so did you, but for different reasons. reasons that no longer mattered. you didn't even know why you were still sitting in that food court. you should've been en route to the train station by now. you felt so damn stupid.

you: that’s okay (12:43pm)

miles: are you okay? (12:43pm) miles: yk i’d never purposely ignore you, right? (12:43pm)

you: yeah, i know (12:44pm) you: it’s not you (12:44pm) you: i’m at the mall rn bc i was supposed to meet some friends here, but they never showed. nb wanted to answer the phone either (12:44pm) you: i checked instagram n it turns out they’re all here (12:45pm) you: just without me (12:45pm) you: sooo now i have to do the walk of shame back to the subway station (12:45pm)

miles: that’s so messed up, i’m really sorry (12:46pm) miles: did anything happen with them before this? (12:46pm)

you: no (12:46pm) you: i mean if it did then idk anything about it (12:47pm) you: my ma warned me about those girls. i should’ve listened 🤦‍♀️ (12:47pm)

miles: i got an idea. are you free now? (12:47pm)

you: i am 🤨 (12:48pm)

miles: take the subway to mine (12:48pm) miles: i have a surprise ❤️ (12:48pm)

you: i gtg grab smth from my place b4 that (12:49pm) you: but i’ll be there :) (12:49pm)

miles loved a message @ 12:50pm

you didn’t even realize the smile that had crept up on your face until it was almost ear to ear and a few seconds away from making your cheeks ache. you quickly stood up from your chair, the legs howling loudly as they scraped against the tile. you winced at the noise and picked the chair up to move it instead of pushing it in. afterwards, you began walking to the exit closest to the subway station. your pace slowed when you saw your “friends” in front of you. they hadn’t noticed you yet. you hoped they wouldn't. they were walking in a horizontal line, laughing and carrying bags on their arms from different stores. you thought it made them look like they belonged in mean girls, or some coming-of-age disney movie with a clique of popular girls who manage to be both unnecessarily cruel and loved by everyone for antsgonists.

when the group of teens finally spotted you, they briefly side-eyed one another before looking back at you, fake smiles gracing their lips almost immediately after.

did they think you were stupid, blind, or both?

“[name]!” adana called out to you when you were only a few feet apart. she dragged out the last part of your name too. you saw it for what it was: an obvious and weak effort to sound genuine. adana picked up her pace so she got to you faster than the other girls. “we thought you weren’t coming, girl!”

you remained tranquil, though you could see everyone else behind adana snickering and exchanging looks. your kept your face relatively blank, not wanting to show the girls before you even the slightest bit of chagrin. they’d get a kick out of it and your outburst would be the topic of their conversations for weeks to come. high school was truly exhausting.

“i mean, i got here at twelve like we agreed,” you shrugged. “i called you guys too. i guess your phones were off.”

“yeah, they were,” taraji chimed in, showing you the 'do not disturb' icon on her phone. you fought the urge to roll your eyes at her fraudulent tone.

you almost couldn’t believe that this was a real situation that you were somehow caught in the middle of. tiesha pouted, the friction between her lips causing her already-faded pink and brown lip combo to fade some more. you knew she was mocking you, but you only wanted to smile when you thought about the shiny gloss that was neatly slathered on your lips, much unlike hers.

“are you okay? have you been here by yourself this whole time?” tiesha interrogated. it felt more like instigating.

“i mean, yeah,” your eyes darted around nervously. lipgloss honestly wasn’t a big deal anyway, tiesha probably had more in her bag. your confidence boost was short-lived and had diminished. you were never the type to thrive off someone's disadvantage. either way, you could act. “but it didn’t really bother me ‘cause i was texting my boyfriend and we—”

“boyfriend?” adana laughed mockingly like it was unbelievable. like it was impossible. “i didn’t know you had a boyfriend.”

“what? i’ve told you guys this,” you frowned, your voice wavering to a degree.

you stared at the four girls with an eyebrow cocked up while they turned to each other and shook their heads, a few whispers floated in the air and into your ears. you had spoken about miles to these girls before, you were positive. he was never a secret, you just weren’t someone who posted online a lot. in fact, you only had instagram because your mom made you sign up. you’d never posted once. either way, it’s your relationship. you didn’t want everyone in your business, that’s where mess was rooted. that's how problems started.

what mess the unforeseen treatment you were receiving was rooted in? that was a mystery to you. you didn’t understand how the girls who were supposed to be your friends could switch up on you at the speed of light. there hadn’t been any fights or arguments between any of you—to your knowledge, at least.

you’ve always preached that there are two sides to every story, but you also preached communication. you all were cool last night while confirming today’s plans, now suddenly they know nothing about you?

nobody questioned you about miles. instead, yanira broke the silence that you’d spent lost in your thoughts, trying to make sense of the uncomfortable situation you were in with purely scraps. “well, good thing we found you now.” she pursed her lips afterwards, clearly stifling a laugh.

words couldn’t describe how stupid and naive you felt. they were trying to play you in your face and thought you were oblivious to it. you were starting to think so too. maybe they’d been playing in your face this entire time. maybe they’ve been acting for the duration of your friendship. maybe there were signs this entire time and you didn’t notice until now. maybe the idea of meeting new people thrilled you too much, and they took advantage of that when they realized it.

you weren’t lashing out over everything going on in the name of “staying calm.” you couldn’t grant anyone the satisfaction of knowing they struck a nerve, and bad. you were just as committed to keeping up with your act as they were to theirs, and nothing was going to make you let up.

“we were just about to grab some food,” tiesha added after yanira, smiling ever so innocently, as if she was oblivious to the treatment you were receiving. tiesha was the one you were the closest with, so that hurt. stung even.

“thanks, but i have other plans,” you faked a smile and made sure to look each one of your “friends” dead in each of their glowering, dull eyes.

adana’s face contorted in slight indignation. “how could you have plans? were you only gonna hang with us for an hour?”

“i was heading out before i ran into you guys,” you smiled and shrugged, checking the time on your phone. “gotta go now or i’ll miss the train. i’ll see you guys at school on monday.”

those insolent girls gave you the stink eye as deviated away. a few steps farther from fakery and you could already hear the whispers and the murmurs, even if the mall was loud. they sounded more like hisses the farther away you got, until they blended into the many, many sounds of your local mall. you were thankful to be free from that conversation—if you could even call it that.

your next chat oughta be a real one. though you hated it, confrontation was just around the corner.

❤︎₊ ⊹

“and then they acted like absolutely nothing was wrong… tiesha too!”

you were seated on one end of the couch in miles’ apartment, your legs crossed and resting on top of his thighs and a pillow between the arm of the couch and your back. miles hadn’t told you what the surprise was yet, and quite frankly, it had slipped your mind entirely. you were never good when it came to keeping your emotions in check. the fury boiling and seething inside you was so immense that you couldn’t give anything but what happened at the mall even half of a thought even if you wanted to. miles was steadily running his hand up and down the bottom half of one of your legs because he knew it’d help you calm you down. it was something he did by default while you were ranting, because when you were upset over something, you could go on for hours.

miles was a teen girl’s diary that could talk back. you had been on a twenty-minute tangent about what transpired at the mall, making sure to include even the most minor details that other people would view as futile. your boyfriend made sure you knew he was listening, nodding and making a few comments when you’d pause to catch your breath. most people would hate hearing someone complain for as long as you usually did, but miles didn't mind it. in fact, he enjoyed it. it wasn’t your anger that he savored, he just loved staring at your pretty face. you had miles in a trance forever and always. your beauty would forever captivate the boy and you were well aware. the difference between now and when you weren’t blowing smoke out of your ears was that miles could admire every feature without you teasing him for it, because you wanted him to pay attention. in any other instance, you loved pointing out how much he stares and making fun of him for it as if you’re not just as head over heels.

“i feel pathetic. i waited there for a goddamn hour. and you wanna know what the worst part about all of this is?” you exhaled, your irises peering directly into miles’.

even when you were upset, you could admire him. you were doing it in that moment. last time it was his eyes, now it was his hair. the sun rays looming from the unfolded blinds painted his afro a soft brown, singling out and defining numerous strands of those gorgeous spirals sprouting from his head. he was so perfect to you. you often had trouble believing you could call him yours.

“tell me,” miles retorted, slightly angling his head to the left.

“i wore a good outfit for nothing,” you whined, tipping your head back concurrently. “i just got this tracksuit! this is honestly ten times worse than wasting a good outfit on a boring day.”

you had on a black, velvet matching set from juicy couture. it was expensive and you were pissed to have had wasted your first wear on the day you found out your friends aren’t shit. miles remembered how excited you were to buy that outfit. you’d talked about saving the money for it for what felt like forever.

“you didn’t waste your outfit,” miles assured you, drawing confusion to your face almost immediately. “i still have a surprise, you know.”

“right,” your eyes lit up and you sat up straighter, disregarding your mood. “i was thinking about it on the subway and i have a few guesses.”

“i don’t think you’ll be able to guess this one, but you can try," he laughed lowly.

“cookies?” you started.

miles shook his head. “no.”

“a cat?”

“no, mami,” he laughed.

“ummm,” you tapped your chin like you were deep in thought. your dark-colored orbs traveled to the ceiling. “movie marathon night?”

“better.”

you snapped your fingers. “christmas movie marathon night."

“no movies,” miles clarified.

“beyoncé?”

“not beyoncé.”

“i can do your makeup?!”

“nope.”

“you got me,” you rolled your eyes and blew raspberries. “i give up. spill.”

“i know you wanted to go to the fair during the summer, but i didn’t take you because i knew you’d complain about the heat,” miles began. “now that it’s november, i figured it’d be the perfect time to go.”

“oh shit, for real?!” your eyes slightly widened as you swung your legs off of miles.

“i don’t see why i wouldn’t be,” he retorted. “we’ll take the train and walk the rest of the way.”

you jumped off of the couch in excitement and shuffled behind the piece of furniture to grab your purse. you glanced over at miles, who was now scrolling on his phone. you crept up on him from behind the couch and inched close to his ear.

“get up!” you demanded playfully, grabbing his shoulders. miles slightly flinched, and you burst into a fit of laughter at his reaction.

“okay, okay!” he stood up, rolling his eyes and smiling. “i was thinking we could wait a little bit before we went.”

“nope, no time to waste,” you insisted. you’d wasted enough of that with your “friends.”

your boyfriend told you about all of the abilities that he acquired when he became spider-man, one of them being his heightened senses. you used to expect them to go off whenever you were approaching him, or whenever you scared him, but they never did. when you inquired about it, miles told you that his senses were most likely there to protect him, therefore they’d only go off when they felt like someone or something posed a threat. he didn’t elaborate any further, but you got what you needed to out of it.

knowing that miles and his radioactive dna felt safe around you made you feel special.

❤︎₊ ⊹

you hadn't been to a fair since you were ten. you had gone with your cousins, your mom, and your aunt. back then, you weren't smart enough to know how to play any of the games correctly. you weren't tall enough to ride anything that looked cool to you, either. you despised always having to settle for the teacups and the carousel.

going back to the fair wasn't really a priority until that past summer. it just happened to be on the long list of things you wanted to do with miles.

the air outside was cool and crisp and the sun probably felt threatened by the clouds obstructing its view of the city with insomnia. you were relieved to not feel the sweltering heat beating down on you, especially since you had worn the sun’s favorite color in velvet. the leaves on the trees were turning orange now. you were entranced by one tree in particular, watching as the plant detached itself from the branch of the tree and danced in the wind on the way to the ground.

at the front gate, you held out your hand so one of the employees could give you a stamp, as did miles. the stamp was an orange leaf, but it didn't really show up on your darker-colored skin no matter how you squinted.

now that you were there, the fair was much more different than you pictured it to be. though you wanted to experience as much as you could, you had three main goals in mind: 1. win an unnecessarily oversized plush 2. take pictures in a photo booth 3. go on the ferris wheel

as long as you were able to say you did all of those things by the end of that night, you’d forget all the misfortune that the first half of the day bestowed upon you and forgive the universe for allowing it.

as you strolled the fair grounds with miles, you tried to catch a glimpse of everything there was to do as you passed. the fair was bustling with people. there were families, groups of friends, trios, duo. there were also couples, like you and miles. you even saw people by themselves every so often. your day could’ve ended like that, you were elated that you didn’t feel alone anymore, but you’d never say it out loud.

“whatcha wanna do first?” miles asked you. he was being just as observant as you, if not more.

you squinted your eyes ahead and a specific game caught your eye. “let’s play basketball, i’ll definitely whoop your ass this time.”

“big talk for someone who can barely even shoot baskets when we're on the court,” miles fired back. “whoever wins gets to choose what we do next.”

“fine by me,” you shrugged.

you two grabbed a single basketball from your lanes when you got over to the game. you saw miles adjust his grip on the ball from the corner of your eye. you reduced your eyes to slits in response and pressed your lips together.

when the bell rang and the timer began to count down, you both shot your balls into the baskets. both of them made it in. you were doing fine for the first couple of seconds, but then your balls began to veer away from your basket. you quickly glanced over at miles’ scoreboard to find that he was eight scores ahead of you. you furrowed your brows and began throwing balls into the goal again, making the first three shots and missing the last two. you were on autopilot from that moment on, throwing balls at your goal without stopping to celebrate nor gripe.

just as you reached down for a basketball to make another shot, the timer went off, indicating the end of the game. you looked up at your scoreboard to find that you’d only gotten twenty-eight shots. you could already feel miles’ eyes boring a hole through your head, patiently waiting on you to look over at his lane and accept defeat.

you gave in to defeat and scanned his final scoreboard: fifty-eight shots.

you finally looked over at the boy and he was smirking slyly. “yeah, so i’m tryna play the game with the water guns and the targets.”

you would’ve much preferred to find a photo booth next, but a deal was a deal, so you brushed off your loss. neither of you had a map, so you weren't sure where any of the games were. you two agreed to wing it, so you and miles roamed around for a while. you made small talk and miles teased you for being so confident that you'd win the last game.

finally, you came across the mini-game he wanted to play. your face lit up when you saw all the stuffed animals hanging from the rack above. you could get behind this.

the worker was on her phone, visibly nodding off until you two approached the game. you caught a glimpse of her rolling her eyes and shoving her phone in the back pocket of her black jeans. though she was clearly fed up by the presence of you and your boyfriend, she thoroughly explained the rules of the game. miles had to strike down moving targets with a water gun. the targets would move left to right, up and down, or both. he had to shoot all of them to win, and he only got five minutes to do so.

the worker hit the red button and miles was on the clock.

the targets were the typical kind: white circles with red circular stripes, and a red bullseye in the middle. you watched keenly as miles gripped the gun and squeezed one of his eyes shut for precision, pulling the trigger and shooting a line of water at two of the targets with ease. to his surprise, they began to move faster. he was still hitting them though.

the employee was paying miles no mind, already turned around and back on her phone, texting away. even though dealing with those targets was like breathing for miles, he decided to take a shortcut. just for fun.

while the worker wasn’t looking, miles handed you the water gun and used his web-shooters to swiftly shoot down the last five targets. your eyes enlarged at him in a panic and before you could really think about it, you sprayed the webbing off of the targets miles shot down with them.

the worker turned back around when she heard the winner’s bell ringing. by that time, the water gun was already back in miles' hand. the worker stared at the both of you in confusion. miles looked proud of himself. you nervously smiled and shrugged.

the worker rolled her eyes before they traveled over to the selection of toys and stuffed animals just above her. “pick a prize, any prize,” she said unenthusiastically.

“which one do you want, mama?” miles asked you.

“umm…” your voice trailed off. your eyes glossed over all the different plushies until one caught your eye. “stitch for sure.”

the worker nodded and unhooked the stuffed animal from the rack. she quickly handed it to miles and gave him a quick half-assed smile before resuming her bored expression. miles passed you the stuffed animal and you smiled brightly. you remembered this feeling, and you felt like a little kid all over again.

“he’s our son now,” you proudly declared.

“he’s too big for that,” miles teased you. “that’s a grown man.”

you gave miles a dirty look and punched him in the shoulder. “i won’t let you body shame our son.”

“my bad!” miles laughed and put his hands up in defense.

"yeah, whatever," you gave miles an eye roll and grimaced. you clocked the worker glaring at you two from the corner of your eye, so you grabbed miles' hand and hurriedly dragged him away from the booth. "we gotta go before she sees the pile of webs on the ground and has cps investigate us. she already hates us, what if she makes us return our son?”

"that's your main concern?" miles' eyes widened. "not the worker finding out i'm a superhero?"

“why would i be worried about that?" you inquired playfully. "i shouldn't have to lose my baby because you wanted to risk your identity."

you both laughed as you wandered along the paths of the fair aimlessly. neither of you knew what you where you were going next, but you were way too immersed in your debate to think about it. amidst your little parley, the sun finally escaped from the clouds' cover, the sky shifting to a warm orange and light shades of pink instead of the gray it had greeted you with.

“by the way, that was very much cheating,” you chuckled, thinking back to the mini-game. “you need to play fair next time. no web-shooters.”

“we had no opponents,” your boyfriend reminded you.

“the employee seemed like one,” you replied, thinking back to the looks she’d give you two. “i didn’t even know you had your shooters on you… anyway, that means stitch is an accident.” you frowned.

miles' nose wrinkled. “man, what?”

“i’m just chattin’,” you snickered.

“per usual,” miles shook his head, slinging his arm around your shoulder and shaking his head.

you two kept walking aimlessly for a little while, but you stopped dead in your tracks when you spotted a photo booth. you briefly made eye contact with miles before briskly snatching up his arm, pulling him as you sped over to the booth.

“the booth’s not gonna disappear, damn!” miles from behind you, panting with his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath.

“it could,” you shrugged, gesturing to the curtain with your free hand. “get in.”

“stitch won’t fit in there,” miles pointed out.

you frowned and observed your surroundings. you knew stitch was bound to get stolen if you left him outside unattended. you continued to glance around, trying to come up with a simple, but logical solution. your eyes stopped on an old lady sitting on a nearby bench by herself, flipping through a novel. she had on a white sweater with a black dress underneath, her long hair braided down and resting on her shoulder. you told miles to wait by the booth and approached the woman with a light-hearted smile on your face.

“hi, excuse me," you spoke softly in an attempt to make a good impression.

the lady looked up at you, half-surprised. she adjusted the position glasses with her index finger, gently pushing them up the bridge of her nose. “oh, yes?”

“may you please watch this for me while i take pictures with my boyfriend in that booth over there? i promise we won’t be long.”

you looked back at miles and pointed in his direction. though he was clearly confused, he smiled nervously and waved anyway. you turned back around to face the woman and smiled again.

“of course i will, dear,” the lady replied, a smile gracing her lips. she waved back at miles.

“thank you so much,” you smiled graciously, setting stitch next to her on the bench. you were ready to go back to miles when the woman stopped you by calling out. you whipped around, biding patiently in the same spot until she spoke.

“cherish the memories that you’re making. all of them.”

you didn’t exactly know what she meant, but then your last trip to the fair came to mind. it was so long ago, but you had almost forgotten how much fun you’d had, even if you couldn’t do much. you never wanted to make the mistake of taking memories for granted whilst you’re making them, because then you'd miss them too much when they were in the past, at least that's how you saw it. the future is uncertain. life is cruel. that day at the fair as a toddler could’ve been the first and the only time you ever went. today could be the second and the last. you hadn’t really thought about any of that before. you hadn’t thought about how precious your memories really were.

“and make them with the right people.”

you knew what that meant.

your eyes lowered, confusion evident on your face anyway. “how do i know if they’re the right people?”

“you’ll know. intuition is real. if something feels wrong or right, you'll know. listen to what your body is telling you, my dear,” the lady replied, crossing one leg over the other and opening her book back up.

your eyes widened slightly as you were still a tad bit lost, but you nodded. "okay. i will."

you jogged back to the photo booth, excitement coursing through your veins. miles didn’t bother questioning your tactics this time.

you both sat down in the photo booth and miles drew the curtain shut. he sat back and you tapped the screen, selecting two printouts so you could both keep one. before you even got the chance to retrieve your wallet from your purse, miles was sliding a couple dollars inside the machine. you hadn’t even noticed them in his hand before.

“today is my treat. you’re not paying for anything,” he told you.

“boo. i can’t spoil my man every now and then?” you clicked your tongue. “i’ll get you those comics you wanted instead.”

miles shook his head and chuckled. when the timer on the screen began to count down from ten, you fixed your braids and made sure your clothes looked presentable.

“i have ideas,” you announced to miles. you'd be envisioning this moment in your mind for ages. “just let me lead.”

“you the boss,” miles conceded in compliance.

“cool,” you giggled. you slid your hand under miles' chin and pulled him closer until your lips were pressed onto his cheek. you stayed in the same position with your eyes closed until you heard the first flash. the next photo was simple, a shot of you and miles kissing. the third one was the both of you looking at each other and laughing. it wasn’t planned, but miles had made a joke so you didn’t have time to pose any differently.

in the following ten seconds, you made miles your canvas, scattering kissing all over his face. he was confused until he looked at the screen to see all that your lips were imprinted on his face with colored lipgloss. he kissed his teeth but then laughed. your arms were wrapped around his shoulders, and that was the last photo. it was your favorite.

you waited for the photo strips to print and then left the booth. you immediately snapped your neck towards the bench to see your stitch plushy still sitting with the older lady. you sighed in relief and jogged over to her.

“thank you again!” you beamed, grabbing the stuffed animal.

you had a feeling she knew you were also thanking her for the unsolicited advice. you'd never understand how some older people were so good at reading others.

“you’re welcome, dear,” she waved goodbye and you waved back.

you wouldn’t forget what she told you.

you then went back to miles, expressing how happy you were that stitch wasn’t stolen. you went on and on about what a terrible mother you would’ve been, had you lost your child after not even twenty minutes of having him.

a few minutes later, miles caught you staring at some nearby concession stands. you didn’t eat anything before leaving his flat, but the line was a bit lengthy. you were silently trying to decide whether the wait would be worth it.

“you hungry?”

you nodded, settling for waiting in a long queue over an empty stomach. “starving."

❤︎₊ ⊹

it was getting late now. the sun was nowhere in sight and neither was the end of the night. the cool fall breeze felt nice against your soft skin. you wished that you could live in this part of the day for eternity, playfully bickering with miles as if you wouldn’t cling to him a few minutes later during the drop on a rollercoaster.

up to that point, you had gone on at least thirteen rides and played nine competitive mini-games. miles ended up winning most of them, despite him saying he’d go “easy on you.” you’d always respond to loss by saying you won in your heart, and he’d laugh at you. you’d pretend to be upset until you couldn’t fake it anymore and laughed along with him.

now, you and miles were sitting on grass, the synthetic kind. you two had shared a peculiarly long corn dog. you claimed that was enough for you, but miles ordered nachos too, and you shamelessly snatced up a sizable amount of them. food just tasted better when it wasn't yours.

after hours of being offline, you finally had a phone break. you sent your mom a text to check in with her before navigating to your email app. you scrolled through your recent until you came across the digital copies of the pictures you and miles took in the photo booth earlier sitting in your inbox. “i got the digital version of the photos. they're so cute!" you exclaimed.

miles grinned. “send ‘em to me later on."

“will do,” you agreed, looking back up to see him stood up from the ground with stitch in hand.

“i’ma rent out a locker to keep this guy inside of and then head to the bathroom,” he told you.

“okay, i’ll be here,” you nodded.

whenever you were out with anyone, you always thought it was common courtesy not to reply to texts that weren’t urgent. you never wanted to make anyone in your life feel like your focus wasn’t on them while you were spending time together. that being said, you hadn’t thoroughly gone through your notification center since you were at the mall. since miles was gone for a little, you thought it was a good time to deliver a few textbacks, because you knew that after tonight, you wouldn’t have any energy to do so until the next day.

you didn’t have any notifications from the calculus group chat, no surprise there. you had an older one from your mom from before you checked in, but she was just sending a tiktok. the next one down was tiesha and then adana. a pit formed in your stomach and you nervously chewed on the inside of your cheek. despite the uneasy feeling you had, you opened tiesha’s text first.

tiesha💞: [name] (5:46pm) tiesha💞: miles is your boyfriend?? (5:46pm)

‘not this again’ you thought.

you didn’t know what you were expecting the text to say, but it wasn’t that. this wasn’t a topic you wanted to circle back on, given everyone’s initial reactions. and you thought she knew—you thought everyone knew. maybe you weren’t as close with tiesha as you thought you were. or any of those girls.

you: yes... i’ve said this before (7:34pm)

you: literally with him rn. why? what’s the problem? (7:35pm)

your brows were knitted together as you anticipated a reply, your fingers drawing circles in midair just centimeters above the keyboard. you were biting the left side of your lip and your teeth were close to piercing the skin. tiesha's response came quick despite your late reply.

tiesha 💞: miles morales? the one i told you i like?? (7:36pm)

you read the text and had to do a double-take. your stomach dropped all over again. you had an exceptional memory. tiesha had never mentioned miles to you, like, ever. she hadn't mentioned any crush of hers to you at all. you just assumed she wasn't interested in dating.

you: i don’t remember you saying anything about like any miles.. but yeah he’s my boyfriend. (7:36pm) you: he has been for months now. i told y’all this, so idk why you were acting all confused @ the mall. (7:37pm)

tiesha 💞: if we knew then why would we be acting confused? 😐 (7:37pm)

you narrowed your eyes at the screen. you could tell her tone was meant to be harsh.

you: i don’t know, tiesha. (7:38pm) you: maybe for the same reason y’all were acting confused when you found me by myself at the spot that we agreed to meet at tday?? 🤦‍♀️ (7:38pm)

tiesha 💞: we said you could come hang w us (7:39pm) tiesha 💞: you’re the one who left (7:39pm)

you released an exasperated sigh as you read her response. you thought back to what the lady who watched stitch for you told you earlier. you couldn’t stick around these girls for any longer. they weren’t the people you wanted to make memories with. perhaps they were nothing more than a much needed lesson. you partially learned how to socialize, but you also needed to learn how to stand up for yourself. you were growing up. nobody else was going to do it for you.

you: i left bc you guys were acting weird towards me (7:40pm) you: idk what the deal is, but if there’s a problem you need to be straight up about it. (7:40pm) you: we all agreed to meet at the food court, but i opened ig to see y’all posing in a mirror while i’m sitting alone. why’d you even invite me atp?? (7:40pm)

tiesha 💞: i thought adana was lying when she said you got with miles, behind my back but ig she was right. (7:40pm) tiesha 💞: you weird af for that. you know i like him (7:41pm)

you: fym bro.. ??? 😭 i literally did not (7:41pm) you: and either way, he’s BEEN my boyfriend (7:42pm)

tiesha 💞: yk you only got w him to tick me off 🖕 (7:42pm)

you: ok wtv. (7:44pm) you: you guys showed me what kind of people you really are, so best believe i’m not sticking around anyway. you can tell that to eb else.(7:45pm) you: and i don't know what you thought you were doing. miles has been MY boyfriend for almost over a year now. he’ll continue to be my boyfriend for years to come, thanks. (7:47pm)

you didn't hesitate to leave the group chat and block those girls everywhere. they didn’t get to have access to you anymore. it felt like weight was lifted off your shoulders and you silently celebrated in your head. you were still in public and didn’t want to draw attention to you because you were cheering about cutting people off. at least you were free from the burden, even if you had a few less friends now.

“ready to go to the ferris wheel?”

you glanced up from your phone to see miles towering over you, both of hands in the pockets of his green puffer. you smiled big. this was the last thing on your checklist, and the thing you’d been looking forward to since you set foot on fair grounds.

“duh,” you giggled, reaching your arm out so miles could pull you up. after he did, you brushed off your outfit and cleared your throat. “so, do we know which way it is?”

“nope,” miles answered. “we’ll just start walking and hope we come across a map, or something.”

you raised and eyebrow and smirked. “so like we’ve been doing this whole time?”

“like we’ve been doing this whole time,” he echoed.

“i guess it makes it more adventurous,” you decided as you two began to walk away from the grass. you clasped your hand with his. “plus, i can tell you what happened with tiesha while you were in the bathroom while we look for it.”

miles’ eyebrows elevated. “something happened?”

“yep,” you shake your head in annoyance. “tiesha had a crush on you or something. apparently, she didn’t know we were together, so she thinks i got with you just to spite her.”

“how wouldn’t she know?”

“that’s what gets me!” you pointed your index at miles’ chest and tilted your head back in irritation. “i told her and the other three, so i don’t know why they were acting clueless! plus, she swears up and down i knew she liked you. that girl never said a word.”

“from everything you’ve told me today… it sounds like they just don’t like you,” he frowned, speaking in a way that told you he was trying not to hurt your feelings.

“they don’t,” you sighed, tilting your head up slightly. “that’s why we’re not friends anymore. i told tiesha to tell everyone else we won't be talking anymore.”

"really? are you okay?"

you reluctantly nodded. "yeah, i think i'm okay." you were telling the truth. in the moment, you were okay. maybe it'd bother you later, but all that mattered was that it wasn't bothering you now.

miles’ expression softened in relief. “that’s good. i’m glad you’re learning not to take b.s.”

you covered your mouth and snickered when you heard "b.s." for whatever reason, you thought it was humourous coming out of miles' mouth.

“no, really,” miles insisted anyway. “i’m proud of you.”

you didn’t ask for confirmation because you believed him even if you found the delivery funny. “thank you, miles.”

he smiled and pulled you closer, planting a kiss on your forehead. you grinned and pressed your ear against his arm. you made sure to take in and appreciate each and every step you took forward with your lovely boyfriend. you were cherishing a memory that wasn’t one yet, but tonight felt far too special not to. you absorbed everything to the scenery and the moonlight to the warmth that clinging to miles' arm gave you.

as if it was looking for you two and not the other way around, you and miles found your way to the ferris wheel without even having to seek out direction. surprisingly, the queue wasn’t at all demanding. when you got closer to the front of the line, you thought of something. you needed something to remember your favorite memory by, anyway.

“we should take a picture in front of the wheel,” you suggested to your boyfriend. “we can ask someone to do it for us.”

“bet,” miles pulled his phone out of his back pocket of his jeans.

he turned around and kindly asked a random girl standing in line behind you two if she could take the photo for you. she thankfully agreed and miles swiped to the camera app and handed her his cell. you two backed up a bit and the girl told you where to stand so that the photo would look better. you took a few pictures standing in front of the wheel side by side, miles’ arm around your shoulders. you two were hugging in one of the shots and he was kissing your forehead in the other.

after those pictures, you took miles’ arm and made him face a different direction. now your shoulders were to the camera lens and the ferris wheel. you snaked your arms around his neck and he instinctively placed his arms around your waist. this was one of your favorite poses, miles knew what to do by now.

you glanced down at your feet and took a step closer to miles so the distance you two wouldn’t look awkward. you lifted your head back up to meet his gaze. the boy was looking at you and you could’ve sworn you saw hearts forming in his eyes. he wasn’t just looking at you, he was admiring you. there was a difference, and you could tell.

but it’s not like you weren’t doing the same.

you whispered loud enough for only miles to hear. “i love you."

“i love you more."

you shifted onto your toes and miles slightly leaned down to reach you. your lips connected effortlessly, your eyes fluttering closed in unison. the ferris wheel lights glimmered behind you two as miles deepened the kiss. you mindlessly lifted your hands to his cheek, your thumbs gently caressing his soft, warm skin.

“got it!” the girl taking the photo called out.

you and miles slowly withdrew your bodies apart and she approached you two, handing miles the phone. you both thanked the girl and got back in line. your gaze was fixed on the structure above you. all you could think about was how pretty the sky was bound look from all the way up there.

you excitedly entered the cabin when it was finally you and miles’ turn. the designated employee shut the door and your eyes immediately glued themselves to the window. you were just barely going up, and you already had a better view of the fair and all of the lights.

“you seeing this, miles?” you questioned without even daring to rip your eyes away from the window.

“i am,” he smiled. your reaction to the view made him happier than any angle of the world around him ever could.

as you ascended higher up, you focused more on what was above ground rather than on it. the luminous stars painted the night sky like white spatters of paint would paint a black canvas. they glittered brightly above you while the ferris wheel slowly spun.

you turned your head back to miles to smile at him, but he beat you to it. you felt like the luckiest girl alive. you were thankful to have at least one person who was true to you. that alone was more than enough.

miles was more than enough.

the moonshine illuminated your beguiling features as you admired its fullness and its beauty. your head was rested on miles’ shoulder and his arm was sitting around your waist, the other one holding your hand in his lap. you knew you’d look back on this and recall that you never took this day or the feeling that came with it for granted, not once.

this felt so right—you didn’t know how to explain it. tonight was perfect and you would never change a thing. everything was how it should be. you were where you should be, you could feel it. this felt right in your soul.

maybe this was it. maybe this is what everyone was talking about.

maybe intuition is real.

❤︎₊ ⊹ bonus:

you and miles had concluded your fair date and were back at his place. you were going to stay for a while before returning to your own. your head was on his shoulder and your legs were curled up in the opposite direction. his hand was evolved in yours, as yours was in his. miles' mom was home and you definitely didn't want to give her the wrong idea by appearing exceedingly handsy.

“i had fun,” you gloated on the day you'd just had as miles browsed through netflix on the tv.

“are you sure? you seemed pretty over it when i beat you at basketball.”

you tongue clicked. "very funny, morales." you thought for a moment. “and thanks for taking me out, by the way. i know you were probably tired from having to fight all morning,” you exhaled.

“it’s no problem,” miles insisted, though you could tell he looked tired. “tomorrow’s sunday, i’ll get some sleep then.”

you both turned your heads when you heard the sound of a door being opened echoed through the hallway followed by rhythmic footsteps. even though you and miles both knew the footsteps belonged to rio, the hallway was dark, so neither you or him could see her until she stepped into the living room. her hair was down instead of being braided or put into a ponytail like it usually was. she was trying to slide a hoop into the earring hole in one of her ears. she was in one of her fancier outfits.

"jeez, you kids been on the couch all day?"

“we went to the fair,” miles replied, a smile tugging at one corner of his lips.

“oh really? explains the oversized oso on your bed. papa, didn’t you use to watch that one show… what was it called? spy oso?”

“special agent oso, mami,” miles corrected her, a hint of embarrassment fermenting in his voice. his teeth were clenched and his eyebrows were furrowed. “and that’s stitch, not a bear.”

you were stifling a laugh, one of your hands shielding the grin on your mouth while the other clutched your stomach. rio didn’t see, but miles did and he rolled his eyes at you.

“i left the snacks in your room, i’ll be right back," you told miles before you got up and disappeared down the hall.

“stitch? what’s a—” rio stopped herself and shook her head. “actually, never mind. how was the fair?”

miles answered her anyway. “it’s an alien, mom. from lilo and stitch. and the fair was good, we had a lot of fun. i can show you pictures later.”

“good,” rio smiled but then broke into a whisper. “miles, mejor la llevas a casa. don’t let that girl wander around all by herself at night.”

“alright, alright,” he put his hands up in defense. “you know i always take her home, calmáte.”

“alright, then. just making sure," rio retorted. "anyway, i’m in a hurry, i’m going to meet your dad, his coworker, and his coworker's wife somewhere. comportarse,” rio cautioned in a stern tone of voice, walking over to the couch and planting a kiss on her son’s cheek.

“i will,” miles promised as his mom hastily walked to the front door.

“tell [name] i’ll see her soon,” rio called out to miles before shutting the door.

a few moments later, you emerged from the shadows that lurked in the hall and took your seat next to miles on the couch. you scooted closer to him and pulled the blanket over both of your legs, handing him his bag of chips then opening your own. he hadn’t chosen something for you guys to watch yet.

“where’d your mom go?” you inquired, looking around.

“somewhere with dad,” miles answered, shrugging his shoulders at the same time. “she told me to say she’ll see you soon though.”

“aww,” you grinned. you really did love rio. you had to stop yourself from chuckling when you recalled her bringing up one of the shows miles used to watch as a kid. as hilarious as you found the whole thing, you held in your laugh anyway. you refocused your attention to the tv on the other side of the coffee table. it didn't take you long to realize that your beloved boyfriend still had yet to choose a movie to watch or a show to binge.

“what should we watch tonight?... homecoming?”

“jesus, no,” miles frantically shook his head, waving his arms around in a panic.

you were referring to beyoncé's 2018 coachella headlining performance movie. you’d made the boy watch the film with you more times than he could count on you two's twenty fingers combined. miles knew the name's every song being performed, the lyrics, and what order they were performed in. he had almost memorized all of the dance breaks, but not willingly. he swore that the word “homecoming” alone triggered some kind of ptsd. miles knew you too well. he was well aware that the renaissance movie would be a homecoming repeat, but maybe ten times worse. he'd been mentally preparing for that as well.

“booooo, you’re boring,” you frowned.

“thanksgiving is coming up, how about that one charlie brown movie?”

“only if we can binge christmas movies after.”

“deal.”

maybemymali ©

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urdepressedslut · 9 months

Note

I don't know if you usually take requests, but could you please write a drabble about Bucky taking care of the reader during her period? Period cramps are killing me and I just want some cuddles 🥺

aw i love this 🥹 i’m sorry your cramps have been bad, i’m sending you all the love and hugs your way💗 i hope this bucky fluff makes you feel better 🥰

Cuddles

♡ Pairing: tfatws!Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

♡ Summary: Bucky helps comfort you when you are having bad period cramps.

♡ Warnings: SUPER FLUFFY, light angst, period cramps, blood (duhhh), light self hate

main masterlist

* i know this is mickey, but let’s pretend it’s post tfatws!bucky *

You had showered after a long day, doing your usual routine— taking your time to really treat yourself after a tough week.

Immediately after sinking into bed, the sheets feeling so good against your freshly shaven legs— it took no time at all for you to slip into a much needed slumber. You didn’t know you could sleep so soundly, so well. Most nights consisted of rolling and waking up occasionally in sweats. Tonight was the first, as you slept through the entire night, waking only the next morning.

You were excited to start off your Saturday after a good nights rest, except when you went to get up— you noticed you were still exhausted. It was then you could feel your back ache, all your limbs heavier than usual. You furrowed your brows in confusion, thinking perhaps you had gotten too much sleep. But as you swung your legs over the edge of the bed, you suddenly felt something wet in between your thighs.

Glancing down, ripping the cover off— everything dawned on you at the sight of red smearing the inside of your thighs, your underwear ruined.

Fucking periods.

You knew getting that good of sleep was too good to be true. You could feel the tears working their way up, your nose burning with frustration. You had just cleaned and changed all your sheets, taken a shower. Now everything, including you were dirty again— like you had never done any of the cleaning to begin with.

You knew it was just your emotions running wild, so you willed your tears to stay away. Sucking in a deep breath, you walked to the bathroom sluggishly. You made it your mission to grab a pill before the cramps started— you had learned your lesson. Although you were starting your period, you were not going to let this ruin your weekend. You were going to have a nice relaxing weekend. Not letting the beauties of being a woman ruin your day.

If only you had kept that attitude up for the entire day. The cramps had come as you expected, but this time the pill did nothing to relieve the pain. The heating pad worked only for a few minutes before the pain came crashing in waves, your body attempting to curl in on itself from the discomfort.

You swore a ghost was digging a knife in your uterus, and right now— you’d appreciate if the ghost just ripped out your uterus completely.

You had holed yourself up in your room, only making it downstairs for breakfast before you were running back to your bathroom to empty the contents of your stomach back out. This was definitely one of the worst periods you’d had in awhile, and you just wanted to slip into a coma until it was over.

Knocking sounded from your door, and you rolled over still clutching your stomach. You looked a mess, you felt like a disaster. Periods always made you feel gross.

“Yeah?” You asked out loud, and you couldn’t hide the discomfort from your tone.

“(Y/n)? You okay?” Bucky asked through the door.

Your eyes widened at his voice, wondering what he was doing here.

You and Bucky had been dating for awhile now, and things had been great. You still managed to get flustered by practically anything he did— and he loved every second of your flustered state. There was one thing that was brought up though— and that was periods.

“Uh— yeah I’m fine! Just tired!” You shouted, nervous that he could sense your lie. He definitely could.

It’s not that you thought he’d judge you for being a woman and having a period. But you were shy to show him that vulnerable side of you. Both you and him had shown the soft sides of each other— clinging to each other when you needed each others comfort. But there was something extra vulnerable about this— and you couldn’t ignore the embarrassment you felt when you even thought of it. You didn’t want him to find you gross, or annoying as you whined.

Okay… I guess you were a little nervous that he’d judge you.

“Doll what’s going on? Can I come in?” He asked, his voice growing more concerned.

You pulled the cover over your legs, giving the room one last once over— it didn’t look terrible. You just wished you could have a minute or two to tidy up. You knew Bucky very well though, and he’d break the door down if you waited one more second.

“Of course, come in!” You announced finally, taking a deep breath, hoping a cramp didn’t hit you while he visited.

The door opened and Bucky peeled his head in first, after making eye contact with you— he sent a warm smile before heading all the way in, shitting the door behind him. He quickly made his way to the bed where he plopped down, looking over you concerned.

“Baby what’s going on? I feel like I haven’t seen you much today. You sure you’re just tired? You aren’t getting sick are you?” He rambled on, and your heart swelled at his concern.

“Buck— I’m fine really. Just didn’t sleep too good last night.” You completely lied, last night was the best sleep you had ever had. Too bad it leaked into today though.

He furrowed his brows and looked at you like he was about to figure you out— see right through you and pick out the lies. You wouldn’t be surprised if the serum gave him those abilities.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” He asked softly, scooting closer so he could slip his hand underneath the covers to land on your bare thigh.

It was meant to be a comforting gesture, but you feared you’d get blood on him. You knew that was a silly thought— but you were paranoid.

He noticed you tense up from his touch and immediately he removed his hand, his face growing more concerned.

“Baby, what is it?” He pried, trying to look you over again— needing to know what the cause of your discomfort was.

You sighed and gave in, shoulders sagging in defeat. You didn’t want him to worry, and seeing his frantic eyes search you for a wound— you realized you were making this bigger than it needed to be. You just couldn’t ignore the embarrassment you felt.

“It’s just uh… I’m… I’m on my period Buck.” You mumbled, lowering your eyes to the bed.

His concerned expression melted away, his heart falling back into a regular rhythm. He knew he was prehistoric— but he knew what a period was. He just didn’t know why you wanted to hide it from him.

“Oh.” He finally said, “Doll— you can tell me things like that.”

“I know Buck but… it’s embarrassing and gross. I can usually deal with it and nobody ever notices— you know because it’s a normal thing.” You told him, playing with the edge of the comforter. “This one has just been pretty bad and… I just— I don’t know.”

You trailed off, avoiding his gaze. Bucky reached his hand over and tucked some stray hairs behind your ear. Tracing his fingers down your jaw to raise your chin up— that way he could look into your eyes.

“You’re not gross, okay? I’m sorry you’re in pain baby— I wish I could take it all away. It’s not fair you have to deal with this all the time.” He told you gently, and you leaned into his touch.

“It’s not usually this bad but… I don’t know, I guess it’s just a bad one this time around.” You assumed.

Before you could say anything else, you doubled over as the pain came back— stabbing into your uterus. You clutched your lower abdomen— hoping it would help relieve the pain. Bucky’s eyes widened at your whine.

“What can I do to help?” He rushed out, hands hovering over you.

If it were any other time, you’d find his protective, mama bear mode adorable. But for now— you were too busy being in pain.

“Just stay with me please? I don’t wanna lay here alone.” You admitted, your words coming out in whimpers.

Bucky wasted no time in kicking his shoes off, shimming his jacket off before he crawled back into the bed, sneaking under the covers. He leaned back against the headboard, pulling you on top of him.

“Don’t even have to ask doll, I’m staying right here. You comfortable?” He asked.

You reached down and raised your shirt just above your belly button, before you lifted his shirt the same. He furrowed his brows, wondering what you were doing. You laid down completely again, letting your skin smush against his, and because he was a super soldier and was always hot— his warm stomach felt amazing against your lower abdomen. Like a personal heating pad.

“Ahh… that feels good. You’re so warm.” You sighed, ticking your face into the crook of his neck.

He chuckled and smiled into your hair, wrapping his arms protectively around you.

“I love you baby.” He whispered to you, already feeling your breathing even out— falling asleep on him.

Your uterus calmed for now, the warm sensation soothing your pain. You could only wait until the next wave of pain came— but you knew you’d be okay with Bucky holding you.

“Love you too Buck.” You mumbled sleepily against his neck, your breath warming his skin.

He hated that you were in pain, wishing that he could take it all away— but he’d give you as many Bucky cuddles as you needed until you were sick of him.

Truthfully, you’d never get sick of Bucky cuddles.

A/N: short but sweet 🥰

687 notes · View notes

kwallanghae · 1 year

Text

twenty two days before we go our separate ways (twenty two days of not falling for you) | yoon jeonghan

content: fluff; angst (because ofc); fake dating; friends to lovers; some joshua x reader; adults who are in their 30s and have jobs;

word count: 20.3k

summary: there’s a special bond between you and jeonghan, and no one was surprised when you announced you were together. to you, it’s a surprise no one realised it wasn’t real.

warnings: language; allusions to sex and suggestive language; (brief) descriptions of vomiting; jealousy and possessiveness;

after a five month hiatus i have returned with a HOLY WHY IS THIS SO LONG fic hope you enjoy :)

also i’ve decided i want to label my fics the same way fob write song titles

D-1

“You have got to be kidding me.”

His eyes widened, then slowly closed in embarrassment. “Look, you’re the only person I could ask…”

“There is no way I’m going to fake date you, Jeonghan!”

In all the years that you had spent knowing Jeonghan, you had never gotten fully used to the shenanigans and plots, half of which you were a pawn in, half were levied against you. Right now, it was easy to say you preferred the latter. Especially given that unlike your mutual friend Soonyoung, he never went too far. Jeonghan had a perfect skill for being outlandish but never unacceptable. Although, this time felt too far. This time felt ridiculous.

“It’s only for three weeks!”

“Twenty two days! Three weeks! Thats three separate, wait no FOUR separate Saturdays I’ll have to spend cozied up to you, pretending to- ugh.”

“Don’t gag.”

“Huoh.”

Gagging was excessive, in all fairness. Jeonghan was a gorgeous man, and the string of broken hearts he carried on his shoulder was evidence enough, which made you so much more suspicious of his words. Why were you the only person available?

“I just need to get this girl off my back at Wonwoo’s wedding, and it has to be believable, because you know that Jun and Seungcheol cannot keep a secret, so if they know then Jiwon will know, and if Jiwon knows then I’m trapped. Cmon, please.”

“Three weeks is so long.” You whined, throwing yourself down on the couch. You had always been one for the dramatics. Perhaps thats what drew you to Jeonghan, why you were good friends.

FRIENDS. Specifically.

“Look it’s not like you wouldn’t get anything out of it!” Jeonghan begged, kneeling in front of you in a desperate attempt to have you look his way. “It would make Joshua so jealous.”

“He would only be jealous if he actually had feelings for me, Han, and we both know he doesn’t.”

“That’s not true, I am so completely sure he has feelings for you, he just doesn’t know it yet.” Jeonghan’s hand was on your shoulder, rubbing it soothingly, as you were reminded of how helpless and pathetic you felt when it came to Joshua. The gorgeous American who never seemed to spare a glance in your direction. Sure, you were all friends, and he obviously cared about you, but only as a friend. It was clear the way he looked at other people, it was a way he had never looked at you. It didn’t take a genius to figure it out, and for the most part you would like to say you were pretty good at spotting when people had feelings for you.

When you were eleven and there was pesky Seokmin who kept throwing pencils at you when he thought you weren’t looking, it was obvious he had feelings for you, which you quickly shut down because who would want to go out with someone who had to resort to petty violence to get your attention? And Mingyu, who would avoid you like the plague all of year 12 until he could muster up the courage to tell you about his feelings for you, which you had obviously seen coming. You were always one step ahead - you didn’t like being caught off guard. Jeonghan was the only person you felt like you could trust to trick you, if that made sense at all. Even when he was being a menace, you still felt somewhat safe. And that was really working against you at the moment.

“You know,” He spoke with a glint in his eye that you couldn’t have missed, even if you wanted to. Oh, how desperately you wanted to. After being friends for so long, you could read Jeonghan too well. “He’s just broken up with Heejin. I bet we could try to make him jealous? Make him realise his feelings for you?”

You sniffled slightly, burying a laugh at Jeonghan’s cunning expression. “You’re just saying that so I’ll agree to go out with you.”

“Maybe. Is it working?”

You pondered for a moment. When Jihoon got married just a few months prior, you didn’t have anyone to go with, and you felt devastated watching the gorgeous boy hanging off Joshua’s shoulder. Jeonghan was quick to offer to ditch his date for you, but it didn’t make the ache in your chest dull any faster. You didn’t want to relive that, and you definitely didn’t want to seem lonely and desperate - you didn’t miss the concerned glance from Joshua last time. It would be nice to seem more desired, even if it was fake. It’s all about image, right?

“You know if we do this you won’t be able to flirt with anyone at the party.” You reminded him. “We’ll have to keep up the ruse that you’re actually interested in me.”

“Is it too late to take it back?”

“Yah, Jeonghan!”

“Kidding! Who wouldn’t be into you? Well…” He trailed off teasingly, and it’s moments like this where your glare settles in across from him that he feels so lucky to be secure in your friendship. “I wouldn’t dream of ditching you.”

“I can’t believe I’m doing this.” You whispered to your ceiling, and you didn’t miss the grin that spread across Jeonghan’s face. Lucky bastard. “Fine, starting from tomorrow we will be fake dating.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you Y/N!” He grabbed your hands, pulling you up from the sofa to celebrate with him. “I will drive you everywhere, don’t worry, and whenever you don’t feel like cooking I’ll cook for you, and-“

“Woah, slow down, I’ll pass on the food. I’ve seen you in a kitchen.” You hushed your friend, letting him settle. “Besides, if we’re going to do this, we need rules. Everything needs to be out in the open.”

You never liked being caught off guard, and you were going to make sure you weren’t.

You settled back down onto the couch, and Jeonghan disappeared to grab something from out of your fridge before settling against you, cuddling to your side. “So what’s the backstory? People are definitely going to ask how we got together, we should probably get a story established.”

“Hmm, what about, you watched me kill it at karaoke, and you were so overcome with adoration and horniness that you confessed your undying love for me, and-“

“Absolutely not. I refuse to say any of that.”

“That’s okay, I’ll tell them.”

“No way!” You shoved him playfully, groaning as he elbowed you in retaliation. “Low blow, Han. Let’s try to think of something more realistic. What about you went on a date and it made me jealous, so I confessed?”

“Yeah, except we’ve both dated other people and it’s never caused jealousy before, I don’t think anyone would fall for it.” He told you, and you cursed under your breath because he was right. “What about we got tipsy and made out? And then realised we liked each other?”

“That works, I guess. It’s a little crass but it’ll do.” You nodded at Jeonghan, and grabbed a piece of paper from your coffee table. “Now rules: obviously we can’t tell anyone.”

“No shit.”

“Don’t be rude, we have to write the obvious too.” You rolled your eyes at Jeonghan, jotting down the words escaping your mind onto paper. No one can know this is fake.

“What about once it’s all over? You know, when you’re off being married to Joshua, and I’ve got myself a new sexy partner?” Jeonghan questioned, wiggling his eyebrows and nudging you.

“Ew? Why did I agree to this?”

“Because deep down you love me and my shenanigans.” Jeonghan popped a cherry in his mouth, chewing on it slightly, staining his lips red. You looked in disgust as a sliver of crimson drool slipped down the corner of his mouth.

“Deep, deep, deep, deep, deep down.”

“Didn’t deny it.” He winked. “So can we tell people eventually? Or are we taking this to the grave?”

“Okay, how about this? No one can know this is fake until we’re married to other people. There, that gives us plenty of time.” Jeonghan nodded thoughtfully, and you quickly jotted down the addition.

“Oh, pass me the pen, I have a good one.”

You let the pen drop out of your hands, pushing it to Jeonghan, who started scribbling something down. You looked over his shoulder, reading out the words…

“…We can’t be cliche and fall in love with each other- are you taking this seriously at all Han?”

He laughed, and you swear he would have spit cherries all over you. You cursed slightly, feeling suddenly very tempted to push him off the bed. “Dickhead.”

“A future junior partner at Kim-Byun Legal Services shouldn’t be using that kind of language, Y/N.” Jeonghan teased, smirking at your frustrated expression.

“Shut it Yoon. And take this seriously! If we fuck up everyone will find out, including Jiwon.”

He shuddered at the mention of her name. “God and she won’t leave me alone. Fine, what other rules do we need?”

“Hmm, we need to post each other on social media. Instagram is a must.” You told him, and to your surprise he hummed in agreement - you really were expecting more of a pushback. Jeonghan never liked tainting his single and available persona, and he was yet to ever post a S/O photo anywhere. “You don’t sound upset?”

“You’re right. It won’t be believable if there’s nothing online, at least on your social media. Besides, the more we commit, the more jealous Joshua will get, and the more Jiwon will realise she needs to back off.”

You nodded, writing it down. “That means we’ll probably have to pose for photos, go on dates and such.”

“Eh, we already hang out loads, we’ll just have to add cheesy captions. Doesn’t sound difficult at all.”

Jeonghan was right. You had spent way too many years being friends with him to ever feel uncomfortable around him, and with that boundaries were out of the window. Half of your outings looked like dates, and this wasn’t even the first time the two of you had used that ambiguity to convince others you or he wasn’t available. It was the first time you were actively deceiving people though. Perhaps that was why you felt on edge. All the other times, you had just let people come to their own conclusions, this time you would be lying. Was that why your heart was beating more? Was that what was causing the sudden discomfort as you laid in Jeonghan’s arms?

“Okay, that’s three rules, do we need anything else? Is there anything we’re forgetting?”

He thought about it for a moment, then brushed it off, letting the thought roll away from his shoulders, while yours stayed tensed and rigid. “We can probably add as we go along. Leave it on your fridge, oh but hide it when you get guests.”

“Well duh.” You rolled your eyes at him, grabbing a cherry out of his bowl. You chewed it softly, and groaned in surprise at the way it burst open. “God these are way too ripe, why are you eating them?”

“They still taste good, and they make me look like a vampire.” He grinned at you, showing off his stained canines (and chin, but you decided not to focus on that). “Just spray me with body glitter and I’ll have hoards of fangirls.”

“You already have hoards of fangirls, and fanboys.” You reminded him, rubbing at the corner of your mouth where cherry juice exploded down.

Jeonghan watched as you missed the trail of juice that had begun to dry on your skin. He smiled, and before you knew it he had licked his thumb, wiping away the red line from your mouth. Your breath hitched as you watched his eyes, trained on you, the part of your cheek right next to your lips, so much so that it felt like that’s all he was looking at. He smiled, drawing his finger back, with a satisfied look on his face.

“There,” He whispered, barely audible had you not been pressed up against him. “You can get a taste of the Yoon Jeonghan Boyfriend Treatment early.”

“Gross, you got your saliva all over me.” You whined, pushing him away. “I gotta wash my face now.” You ignored his chuckles as you made a beeline for the bathroom, eager to get him off of you, in every sense.

“You better get used to my saliva babe!” He laughed as you walked away from him. Cute.

It’s a strange feeling to ponder on your time with someone, but that’s what you watched yourself do in the hour before you were, technically, officially going out with him. The hour until midnight struck, you were in bed, teeth brushed, pajamas on, and only Jeonghan on your mind.

You’ve spent more of your life with him in it than without him. He was in the year above you at school, but you and him always gravitated to the same napping spot under the bleachers, and from there a comfort was born. Even before that, he was always around, his friends were the older brothers of your friends, and you had known each other by association, which made it easier to grow into an easy friendship come middle school. Half of the times you had suspected someone’s growing crush on you, it was Jeonghan whispering rumours into your ear. He had always looked out for you, and as the two of you aged and grew closer, you looked out for him too, until you two felt most comfortable together, and not with anyone else.

It had never stopped the two of you from dating, of course. He was hot, you were hot, and other people realised it. In your case though, it had been a force driving boyfriends away. They could never quite get used to how close you and Jeonghan were, and you had been accused of cheating or leading them on more times than you could count. Meanwhile, Jeonghan’s flings always came rushing to you on advice and inside intel, seemingly loving your presence - until they realised that he would never put them above you, and suddenly you were the bitter best friend who could never let him date in peace.

And you had friends, mutual friends who in turn formed a large group that you welcomed and blossomed with. But no one could ever come in between you and Jeonghan. The two of you existed in a little bubble, never to be popped or disturbed. You could imagine the delight some of your friends would express once you told them you two were an item, they were always the teasing that you two were secretly dating and hiding it from the world.

But you were an adult now, the two of you had been out of high school and university for several years now, and still you weren’t dating, despite being so close, it drove your friends mad. You knew that you didn’t need to explain it, as long as you and Jeonghan were on the same page. Boyfriends would come and go, but Jeonghan was always your priority. It had always been platonic, but you knew that if nothing else lasted, your friendship with Jeonghan would. He knew it too.

You turned, groaning into your pillow. How were you going to go to this wedding? Part of the beauty of your relationship with Jeonghan was that it was simple. It had never once felt complicated to you, just because other people didn’t understand it doesn’t mean you didn’t. But not dating for over a decade and suddenly starting to go out? Only to break it off three weeks later? That felt too complicated to explain, or even comprehend. Would people even believe it?

You were so tempted to text Jeonghan to call it off, to find another stunning specimen to hang off his arm and scare away Jiwon. She was all bark, no bite - no matter what hurtful words she had spat at Jeonghan when he tried calling their thing off, she wouldn’t go up and make light of those threats. Ultimately, she was harmless, but terrible at taking hints. Hence why he’s created this dumb plan. It wasn’t too late to back out was it? You grabbed your phone, and it dinged in your hand.

12:01. Shit.

And there it was, a text from your loving boyfriend.

Hannie: Happy first day of dating, baby ;)

No backing out now.

Day 1 - Saturday 3rd November

After the reminder Jeonghan had sent of your month long promise, you had rolled around your bed until you finally nodded off, and then subsequently overslept, which was only made clear as a banging on your door began to wake you.

Jeonghan was here.

The knock (which was always made with the full force of his fists - you swore that one day he was going to break your door down) was nothing other than courtesy. Jeonghan had his own set of keys to your apartment, and he wasn’t shy about using them. You could already hear him fumbling with the keys, and the muttered curses under his breath. You couldn’t wait to make partner and get out of this place and to somewhere with more soundproofing, you were certainly sick of hearing the muffled grunts and moans of your neighbours who had nothing better to do than spend the nights in each other(’s arms). But it did allow you those few seconds of awareness before Jeonghan barged into your home.

The door finally swung open, and there he was in his full glory - your new boyfriend. Even thinking the word in association with Jeonghan gave you a shudder. There was something about thinking of Jeonghan that way that just felt so… alien. It wasn’t like you had never had those wandering thoughts, but that was all they were: visitors who didn’t stay long. Now, the label was here for three weeks, and you were way too tired to comprehend just how long that really was.

“Why aren’t you up? Don’t you remember we’re helping Minghao set up the venue today? We’ve also got to make an all so important announcement, in case you forgot.”

You groaned, smoothing down your bedhead as best you could to be semi presentable. “I know, I just overslept. Struggled to fall asleep last night.”

He looked over at you as you stumbled out of bed, grabbing the coat hanger that had your outfit off your dresser as you walked slowly to the bathroom. “Just give me 20 minutes to get ready.”

“Are you feeling okay Y/N?” He asked carefully, walking closer to you. “It’s not too late to call it off, I don’t want to stress you out, especially with everything going on with work.”

It was certainly a tempting offer, and one you had been considering just the previous night. But looking back at Jeonghan’s concerned expression, you were reminded of why you even agreed in the first place. Yes, you wanted to make Joshua jealous, and that was your main goal, but Jeonghan had never let you down, and you weren’t going to let him down either.

“Don’t worry. Wonwoo’s wedding is on the 24th. Four Saturdays, I can definitely last that long.” You told him, blinking away the puffiness in your eyes. He didn’t seem too convinced, but you knew Jeonghan was too far in it to say anything else. “Twenty minutes, then we’ll go.”

Day 1 (cont.)

You weren’t too sure when it happened, but somewhere along the car ride, Jeonghan’s spare hand had nestled into yours. It felt somewhat romantic. You were no stranger to holding his hand, but it meant something different this time. Of course, something deceptive, but still different.

As the car pulled to the stop, you squeezed his hand comfortingly.

“Ready?”

You and Jeonghan smiled at each other, and to anyone who could see past the tinted windows, you were putting on your best show even before you walked out of the car. Of course, knowing Seungcheol, he was probably waiting outside the venue, and this sort of attention to detail that Jeonghan had mastered was crucial considering your friends.

“Ready.”

Your hands detached as the two of you got out of the car, only to join once more as Jeonghan rushed to your side, draping his arm across your shoulder and kissing your hand. You were almost shocked by his actions, the ones that felt so loving, until you heard the all too familiar screech of his would be best friend (had that title not been taken by you, long ago).

“Yoon Jeonghan! Did you and Y/N finally confess your love to each other?!” Seungcheol yelled across the parking lot, jogging up to you.

“Showtime.” Jeonghan whispered in your ear, nuzzling his nose against your skin. It was so sickeningly puppy love, you had to hold yourself back and be reminded that this is your life for the next month. “Seungcheol!”

He walked up and hugged his friend, and you followed suit, before settling back at Jeonghan’s side. Seungcheol couldn’t hide his grin, going on and on. “I knew it! For years, you guys said there was nothing there, but I knew it would happen eventually! I told you so, didn’t I Jeonghan? And all you ever said, Y/N and I are just friends, they would never see me that way, but HAH! I was right!”

Seungcheol kept rambling, barely even speaking to you, truthfully it felt more like he was yelling at characters on a screen rather than friends he had known for all his life (at least in Jeonghan’s case - you only got to know Seungcheol as you got closer to Jeonghan).

“Everyone’s going to be so shocked, even more so than when Wonwoo finally proposed.”

You scoffed. “No one was surprised when Wonwoo proposed, we were all surprised he hadn’t proposed sooner.”

“Same sentiment they’ll have with us, I guess.” Jeonghan shrugged, tightening his grip around you. You held your bated breath as you thought about just how close you were to Jeonghan, that if you reached out just a little you could tuck that stray hair that was in front of his face away, you always thought he looked so much nicer when his face wasn’t covered-

“…dating?” Seungcheol’s sentence finally trailed off, and you realised he was waiting for your answer. Shit, you hadn’t paid any attention, and it was clearly evident by your lost expression. “God you two are still in the honeymoon phase, pay attention to me as well, not just your boyfriend.”

Your nose almost curled so instinctively at that word. Boyfriend. It still felt so wrong to use for Jeonghan, and by the way he tensed only ever so slightly beside you, you knew he felt the same. As if you were claiming him, but you knew Jeonghan wouldn’t want that, that’s why he froze. Wasn’t it?

“Come on, let’s go inside, you can tell everyone you’re finally dating!”

You and Jeonghan followed Seungcheol, who chattered away to Jeonghan as you walked in silence. You were always the more quiet of the pair. Not exactly introverted or shy, but picky with your words. You hated the idea of saying something you didn’t mean. Jeonghan was careful too, but it was like he had everything ready before anything else was ever said. Jeonghan was always careful, always clever.

He had never been the boyfriend type. Everyone knew it. He had flings, some that even lasted months, but never relationships. He went on dates, but only those that ended up in a hookup. The word boyfriend had never been used to describe him, only used as a wish others had hoped he would fulfill. Your friends would always tease, of course, that he could never be a boyfriend to anyone else because he was too busy being a boyfriend for you, but the two of you knew it wasn’t that. No, Jeonghan could never be a boyfriend to anyone because he didn’t want the expectations that came with it. Jeonghan did as he wanted, on his own terms. But a boyfriend has a role to play, and Jeonghan would die before he gave into that. It was always frustrating for him that his friends never seemed to understand that, but now it played right into his plan. And you understood, so did anyone else need to?

As Seungcheol ushered you in, you were surprised to see just how many of your friends were already gathered, moving chairs and dusting the floors, with Minghao set in the centre, directing everyone. Wonwoo and his fiancee were doing their best to cut costs, with Minghao acting as wedding planner, and all their friends chipping in to help out where they could, which of course is how you all ended up setting up a wedding venue inside a dusty old warehouse. Minghao assured them it would look beautiful, if and only if everyone listened carefully to every instruction he gave, without deviation. To say you and Jeonghan were scared of pissing him off was definitely an understatement.

Eyes snapped to you and Jeonghan at the sound of the door closing, and even more gathered in your direction as Seungcheol started yelling about an announcement.

“Y/N and Jeonghan have something to say!” He yelled across the crowds (well, 30 or so friends), apologising silently to Minghao as he glared at the older boy.

You froze, hiding your head in Jeonghan’s arm as the pressure of being watched suddenly settled into you. He smiled at you, and wagged your hand held in his at everyone. “Y/N and I are dating!”

Everyone erupted into gasps and shouts, but were all effectively shut up by Minghao’s yell. “Get this place clean first, then gossip!”

Jun walked up to you, handing you a mop and reading off instructions Minghao had given him on everything that needed to be done today. “But seriously, I am so happy for you guys. Good luck fielding everyone off though, everyone’s gonna have so many questions.”

You walked over with Jun to where Chan, Yeeun, Sakura, and Seungkwan were all mopping the floors. The youngest pushed you gently, grinning at you.

“I can’t believe you and Jeonghan are finally dating!” Chan grinned. “Took you guys long enough.”

“I guess it’s been a long time coming.” You hummed, as you started cleaning the floors with them. You looked back to where Jeonghan was, now surrounded by friends who were congratulating him. It filled you with a strange pride to know you were a prize to be congratulated for winning. Of course, they don’t know it’s not real. But the illusion still felt victorious.

“Is everyone here? It’s been ages since we all met up.”

“Yeah! Oh, everyone but Joshua, he had to cancel last minute.” You felt your shoulders threaten to drop at the news Soonyoung shared. “Of course, the day we’re cleaning away the dust and mould, he can’t make it.”

Sakura hit his shoulder softly. “He would come if he could. There was an emergency at his firm.”

There was no skylight, but you were sure that if there was one, the clouds would have covered the sunlight.

You were only a year younger than Joshua, only a year younger than Jeonghan, but he had already been a junior partner at his firm for three years now, while you were spending every spare hour at your office in a desperate attempt to prove to the asses behind the desks in the floor above yours how much you deserved to be partner.

You weren’t surprised when Joshua was made partner. He was incredible, a talented lawyer who saw shortcuts and loopholes no one else realised were there. He was so dedicated, and smart, and dreamy, although you were sure that last part wasn’t one of the qualifying traits for partnership.

Your whole life, you were a step behind him. Most of that was just the fact that he was a year ahead of you: he graduated first, he took his bar exam first, he joined a firm first. Meanwhile you were the sad kid following him from place to place.

It was no secret Joshua cared for you like a younger sibling. Of course, he wasn’t always around, he couldn’t be. He had too much to do, too many places to be. But he cared about you, and always made sure you knew. What was a secret were the feelings you had for him, locked in a cage next to your heart, with a bluebird that sang love songs to fuel your adoration for him. Only Jeonghan knew, and he had been sworn to secrecy. (It didn’t matter that he had been - he could keep a secret easily, and he would have never given away one of yours.)

When you were seventeen, and Joshua left you to go to university, that was the first moment you realised just how much you cared for him. You ended up in the same university, and then later the same law school, and now the same city. The years you shared in law school, cuddled up in sofas trying to decipher notes from lectures, and questioning the sanity of professors formed a budding love, and one that you only realised when he left you once more. You followed him and Jeonghan place to place, in a desperate attempt to have him realise just how you felt, and he never did. You were his Y/N, always around, always there for him, but never an option. And while he dated, you did too, but no one seemed to replace him. All your exes blamed Jeonghan for your failed relationships, when they should have blamed Joshua.

And now here you were once again, back home from cleaning up Wonwoo’s rented warehouse, once again wishing he had noticed you, wishing that he would finally see you in a different light.

Day 2 - Sunday 4th November

“You have to pose more like you’re my boyfriend.”

“What does that even mean?”

“I don’t know! But you’re not very good at this.”

Jeonghan groaned, shoving your phone away from his face like a disgraced celebrity. The two of you had met out for coffee and, in your case, highlighting case notes and writing out forms, while Jeonghan edited scripts. You always thought Jeonghan should have gone into law like you and Joshua, he certainly had the intelligence for it, but he didn’t particularly have a drive to become a lawyer, and in his eyes it was too much work if he wasn’t motivated. Times like this convince you that perhaps he was correct.

Except now that the two of you were dating, there was also the task of creating the evidence necessary to post your relationship, and it was tedious and confusing having to show the difference between you as friends and you dating when nothing has changed.

“We might as well just post a photo of you or I in lingerie if you want to make it look more like a real relationship.” Jeonghan said teasingly, although you didn’t miss the hint of frustration in the growl of his voice.

“Gross.”

“Let me see the photos you’ve taken at least.” You handed your phone to Jeonghan, moving your attention back to the case in front of you. Malcom Optics vs. Kim and Hogan. You wanted to tear your eyes out. “These are boyfriend-y enough!”

“They look like all the other photos I have of you!”

“Everyone else was convinced we were dating beforehand, that’s definitely relationship kindling.”

You reached our for your phone from his hands, grabbing a highlighter. “It’s not enough. Apparently, something has changed.”

“Fine then. Kiss me.”

You dropped your highlighter, and it clacked to the floor.

“Excuse me?”

“You wanted to show that something has changed, what do people in relationships do? They kiss.” Jeonghan explained nonchalantly, leaning down to grab your highlighter. “We can post a kissing photo, you’re right, it’s more believable this way.”

“B-But…”

“It’s not like we’ve never kissed before, anyway.”

He was right, and you cringed at the memory of being drunk with Jeonghan. The two of you had spent a couple of nights in university drinking your problems away on the floor of your dorm when your roommate was away (and considering the sheer number of parties she spent her time at, you and Jeonghan had a semi frequent tradition), and one such night after an emotional day of being accused of cheating, you ended up making out with an equally wasted Jeonghan, only for the two of you to wake up with an insurmountable feeling of dread and regret. The two of you had always known whatever relationship between the two of you was platonic, but that night destroyed any sort of wondering. There was no way you had feelings for him if it resulted in that awful dread. And it made you so nervous to experience it once more.

“Y/N?”

“Fine.”

You got up from the desk to sit on Jeonghan’s lap. The seats at this coffee shop were comfortable, but not enough for two people to sit together. Jeonghan felt himself tense up as you settled into his lap. It had been way too long since the two of you kissed, and a strange feeling settled in his stomach.

“Ready?” You asked him, moving your phone into position.

“Guess I have to be.”

Jeonghan placed his hand so his thumb nestled just in front of your ear, holding the back of your neck securely, and closed his eyes as he kissed you, waiting for the click of your phone camera, which came quickly. You quickly pulled away to look at the results, ignoring the way your stomach dropped. It meant nothing. But why was it lingering?

“This actually looks good. We look like we could actually be dating here.”

You hummed in satisfaction, moving back to your desk to focus once more on this case, and you hoped Jeonghan missed the coy smile on your lips.

He was too busy thinking about how his own felt.

Day 7 - Friday 9th November

“Sofia is hosting a party, we’re going once you’re free from work.” Jeonghan’s voice was gravelly over the phone, and the reception in your office was so bad, you were barely getting every other word.

“Who’s Sofia again?” You asked, hardly paying attention to the question. Instead, your attention was trained on the office door on the other side of your office, where your coworker, Eunwoo, resided. You just watched as two senior partners had stepped in, and it had been now 26 minutes since the door closed. Were they going to promote him over you? Or perhaps he was getting fired? You had seen him grab one too many pens from the office storage room, he could have been selling them to make a bit of side money. Probably not. But could he?

“Vernon’s sister, try to keep up.”

“Right yeah, sister.”

“Who’s sister?”

“Umm…”

Jeonghan sighed on the phone, and you winced at his tone. “You’re working too hard. Or overthinking. One of the two. Either way, you need this party.”

“I’ve got so much work to do, Hannie.” You told him, taking note of the time. There were two shadows by the base of Eunwoo’s door. Someone’s feet? Was the meeting over yet?

“But it’s a Friday! You can work on the weekend. I’ll drive you, and I’ll stay sober so I can take you home. Besides, Joshua is going to be there.”

You perked up at the sound of his name. “Really? He’s actually coming?”

“Yeah, he called me earlier to make sure you and I were coming, and I told him you were. You don’t wanna flake on him, do you?”

You sighed. Your resolve was always diminished when Joshua was involved.

“Fine.” You smiled, imagining Jeonghan celebrating on the other side of the line. “I have to stay back late though, can you bring me a change of clothes? Something comfy though.”

“Got it, I’ll bring dinner and your sexiest ensemble. Bye!”

“Wait-“

Day 7 (cont.)

Just like he promised, at 7:43, Jeonghan showed up at your office door, with your clothes (which were a lot tighter than you would have liked) in a bag and a pizza box in the other. He settled on the other side of your desk as you finished up, and listened as you bitched about the meeting Eunwoo had which lasted a whole 34 minutes, which is insane for what looked like an unscheduled meeting, and were they really going to pick Eunwoo over you? I mean he’s a good lawyer but the pens!

Eventually he managed to get you to stop talking and follow him to his car before driving you over to Sofia’s new place. She had just moved, to a much more relaxed neighbourhood, hence the big party. While you and your friends were close to or had just reached their 30s, with you being on the cusp at 29 (Jeonghan is old and is already in the decade ahead of you, a fact you have mentioned to him several times), Sofia was still in her early 20s, and that was definitely reflected in the party she had set up (with the help of Vernon, who was perpetually stuck at 16). Music was blaring from the house, and you silently cursed Jeonghan for dragging you out. You knew exactly how this party was going to end - with you drunk, having embarrassed yourself in at least three different ways, and passed out somewhere to nurse a major hangover in the morning. At least this time Jeonghan would stay sober, true to his word, and could take care of you. Hopefully that comes with making sure you don’t embarrass yourself, but you wouldn’t bet on it.

You instinctively reached for his hand as Jeonghan led you to the house, and you were reminded of your job. This was a big party, your friends would be there, you had to play the role you were given. Beside you, Jeonghan was reminded of the same fact.

You almost forgot everything as you approached the front door, and saw him waiting for you. Joshua waved you over, and you felt the air knocked out of you as you and Jeonghan walked up and he engulfed you two in his arms.

“I heard you guys finally started going out! Took you long enough to ask them out, Jeonghan.” Joshua’s voice was honey mellow and so soothing, you were sure just like honey it was antibacterial. You hadn’t even entered the house, and you already felt drunk on his touch. Yet your heart seemed to drop at the fact that Josh didn’t seem at all jealous or upset at this development. That’s probably a good thing? But it definitely wasn’t the outcome you wanted.

“We should get Y/N to the kitchen, I’m sure they want something to get their mind off of work.” Jeonghan told Joshua, who let you slip out of his arms as he led the two of you inside the house.

“Tough week Y/N?” Joshua asked delicately, placing his hand on your shoulder, and every worry you had seemed to drain away, only for the reminder of Eunwoo’s closed door to come right back.

“Just feel like I’m putting in effort that will never be recognised.” You grumbled, and leaned closer into Jeonghan’s side. Joshua’s sweet gaze reminded you of your goal: you wanted so desperately for him to be jealous, so you nuzzled your forehead against Jeonghan’s bicep. “Luckily I’ve had my boyfriend here to make everything better.”

You don’t think you could ever get used to that word, and evidently neither could Jeonghan, who felt as though he was choking on air. You felt the vibrations of his discomfort, but Joshua didn’t seem to notice.

“Ahh, young love. Or, I suppose newfound love. I really am surprised you two didn’t start dating earlier.” Seungcheol’s voice suddenly permeated the air, and you watched as he settled next to Joshua, facing you and Jeonghan with a friendly gaze. “You drinking tonight, Jeonghan?”

“Designated driver.” He told him, running his thumb up and down your arm. Jeonghan didn’t miss the way Joshua looked at that small action, and he felt a glimmer of pride under his skin. “I think Y/N will want a drink though?”

“Oh god yes, Seungcheol, will you mix me something? Put those bartender days to use.” You hooked your arm around Seungcheol’s and let him guide you to the drink station (Sofia’s kitchen island which had a cupboard fully stocked with alcohol and mixers).

“Wow, you and Y/N.” Joshua smiled, and Jeonghan grinned coyly at his friend. “Why’d you finally ask them out?”

He stole a glance to you and Seungcheol. You didn’t notice his gaze, and why would you? You were too far away. But you seemed so in your world, like you always had been, something Jeonghan found endearing.

“Just realised I wanted more. Didn’t want to lose them to someone else.”

“As if you would ever lose Y/N, you two are stuck together. Honestly, I was a little jealous of it growing up, they would always pick you over me, guess this is another case of that.” Jeonghan hadn’t realised until now how Joshua’s skin was tinted pink, the blush of alcohol settling over his cheekbones. Was that why he was rambling like this? “But then I realised I had to find my own Y/N, make my own soulmate. Anyway, I’m glad you finally asked them out!”

Joshua stumbled back towards the drink station where you and Seungcheol were waiting for him. Yeah, Jeonghan wasn’t too sure he would be able to make Joshua jealous. But he owed it to you to try anyway. You weren’t always as aware as you wanted to think you were, but Jeonghan was, and he was acutely aware of the way you froze and smiled as Joshua approached you.

Over a decade had passed since you were seventeen, and you were still completely whipped for Joshua Hong.

Jeonghan knew this, he went into this knowing it, but why did it feel different now?

Day 7 (cont.)

Two hours in and you were officially drunk. It didn’t take much - you were out of practise from your days of drinking through the night as an undergrad, and too often your nights our were at charity functions and galas where you had to stay on the safe side of tipsy, and not let loose like you were currently doing.

You had lost Jeonghan a while ago, instead having spent most of the night with Joshua, catching up and taking shots together. He’d been having a stressful time at his own firm, and was happy to accompany you as you drank your worries about Eunwoo and making partner away.

“It’s just so stupid, cause Eunwoo is my age! He’s not more qualified than me, and he’s definitely not a better lawyer than me, cause he steals pens!”

“You mentioned the pens!”

“It’s important!”

You felt a tear roll down your cheek as you drunkenly recalled the events of the day, and before it several more followed. Joshua didn’t notice, you made no sound, but the stress of being at the office for 53 hours this past week only to get no recognition became so overwhelming so quickly, too quickly for your drunken self to register.

“Josh, did you make Y/N cry?”

You barely registered that Jeonghan had walked up to you until you heard his voice, the voice you had been missing for the whole party.

“H-Hannie…” You choked out in sobs, reaching your arms out for him. He obliged, pulling you close to him, letting you cry into his torso.

“Y/N, you’re crying?” Joshua questioned, but you could barely hear him, your face pressed against the fabric of Jeonghan’s shirt. It wasn’t a comfortable position, to cry sitting down into someone’s chest, but right now you weren’t thinking about that.

“Hannie w-where did you g-go, I miss- I missed you.” You sobbed, barely sounding out the words. “St-stupid Eunwoo and h-his stupid pens.”

Jeonghan cooed, running his hand through your hair soothingly. “Maybe we should go home? You need to get to bed. Josh, I’ll see you tomorrow? Say goodnight to Seungcheol for me.”

Jeonghan grasped your hand, pulling you up, and guided you out of the house to the car.

“Why are we l-leaving?”

“You’re way too drunk. Besides, we’re helping set up Wonwoo’s venue tomorrow, better get some sleep.” Jeonghan reminded you, tucking you into the passenger’s seat and clipping the seat belt around you. You hummed, shuffling until you felt comfy, and curled up as close as you could. Your eyes fluttered closed as the car started, and soon you felt yourself dozing off, the salty tears slipping past your lips.

“You’re such a good boyfriend, Hannie.”

Had you not been so drunk, maybe you wouldn’t have said it so easily. Maybe he would have felt more uneasy about the term. He hadn’t even noticed it until you were well and truly passed out, gone to the world.

Day 8 - Saturday 10th November

The streaming sunlight that peeked through your blinds was enough to awaken the deep nausea within you, yet the banging in your head begged you to stay in bed. This was such a gross hangover, and one you hadn’t had to deal with in years.

Who let you drink this much?

With as much strength as you could muster, you stumbled to the bathroom, luckily you had an ensuite, and felt the contents of your stomach escape up and out through your throat into the toilet bowl. The base of your throat burned, and so did your eyes, as more tears threatened to escape over the fiery sensation. You stayed there, waiting for another wave of nausea, when you felt Jeonghan’s hands push back the hair from your face, and rub your back soothingly.

“Why did I drink so much…” You whispered, your voice hoarse and sore.

“You’re just too out of practise, Y/N.” Jeonghan told you, pulling you up slowly. “You need to spend more nights drinking with me and not at the office.”

He handed you a glass of water, which you greedily took from his hands, gulping it down as fast as you could without suffocating, until you went to fast and started coughing it all up.

“God you’re a mess when you’re hungover.”

“Thanks, Jeonghan.”

He grabbed the box of panadol in your bottom cupboard drawer, handing it to you. God, he was far too familiar with your apartment, although you were fairly familiar with his. Well, actually not quite as familiar, because he still has a roommate (and according to Jeonghan, they are necessary for the nicer apartment he lives in on his salary, even though you’ve told him is useless since he spends most of his time here) that you never wanted to bother.

“We have to be at Wonwoo’s venue in three hours, you think that’s enough time to get ready?” You nodded, swallowing the pills quickly.

“That should be enough time for the panadol to kick in.”

“Good, because I’m only being this nice to you until then.”

You frowned mockingly. “Don’t you have to be the sweet and caring boyfriend?” You cringed at the way that word sounded as it came out of your mouth, and watched as Jeonghan did too. “God, I don’t think twenty days is enough time to get used to that.”

“I don’t think a lifetime is enough time.” Jeonghan let himself out of the bathroom, leaving you alone on the tiled floor. “Take a shower, then come and get some food!” He yelled, and you closed the door behind you, terrified of whatever horror he had cooked up (and you used the term cooked very loosely here).

Day 8 (cont.)

It had become a tradition for you to start holding hands with Jeonghan when he would drive you. Somewhere along the car ride, his hand met yours, and they joined, not a word to be said. You didn’t think about it. You wondered if he did.

The venue wasn’t too dissimilar to last week, but it was way cleaner. Once again, you and Jeonghan were separated, sent to do different jobs under the watchful eye of Minghao (and his faithful minions Jun and Jihoon).

“Do you think he gets stressed out or is he just like that?” Sakura whispered to you. She was friends with Wonwoo’s fiance, and wasn’t all too familiar with Wonwoo’s friends. You felt for her, most of the people here were on his side, and you were one of the only people Sakura knew here, having met previously in university.

“Both? He is a little bit like that, but Wonwoo is a close friend, I think he just wants everything to go well.” You told her in hushed breath. “We all want it to go well. Wonwoo is such a good guy, so is Eliza.”

“I know!” Sakura gushed, a little loud but not enough to catch the attention of Minghao. “They’re so cute together, I was so excited when she told me she finally got engaged.”

You smiled, making marks with electrical tape at each measure for Seungcheol to place chairs at later on.

“What about you though? Are you going to get engaged any time soon?”

You gulped, feeling awkward under the heat of her questioning gaze. “Jeonghan and I have only started dating, marriage is so out of the picture right now.”

“Don’t be modest! Chan told me you and Jeonghan have basically been together since high school.”

“That’s an exaggeration.” You told her, not meeting her eyes. It felt so strange, so deceitful, to keep up this lie. Were you a bad person for this? It was harmless, just a little lie to keep Jeonghan from Jiwon, but it followed you everywhere.

“We were just friends back then.” We’re just friends now. “We’ve just always been close.”

“Uh huh, and did you have feelings for him all this time?”

Wrong guy.

“I’ve always loved him.” You told Sakura, and she began to giggle once more.

That one wasn’t a lie. You have loved Jeonghan for a very long time. It’s just always been a platonic, simple love. You wondered if it still was, and then you wondered why it wouldn’t be.

But it was clear that no matter what it is, it was no longer simple.

Day 11 - Tuesday 13th November

“Hello?”

“Y/N! It’s Wonwoo.”

“Oh, hey Wonwoo! What’s up?”

“Nothing, nothing! Look, I know I haven’t been hanging out much-“

“Stop, don’t apologise! You’ve been planning a wedding, and we’re all so excited for it!”

“You’re too sweet, Y/N. Anyway, I wanted to congratulate you and Jeonghan!”

“Oh, you heard?”

“Can’t stop hearing about it. Mingyu was being a little pissy when he found out, kept saying this must have been why you didn’t like him back in year 12, instead of the fact that he face planted into a pool in front of the entire year group two days before he confessed to you.”

“I forgot about that!”

“Don’t worry, I put him in his place.”

“Ahh, thank you Wonwoo.”

“Of course. How did it go, by the way? Who asked who out?”

“Oh, I don’t wanna waste your time…”

“No no! Eliza wants to know too, go on.”

“Ahh, well, we were just hanging out one night and… one thing led to another…”

“My god did you fuck him on your leather couch because that poor piece of furniture has seen more than enough-“

“No! No, we made out, jesus Wonwoo.”

“Sorry, sorry, go on.”

“Wait what do you mean seen more than enough?”

“Okay you didn’t hear this from me but you should ask Soonyoung what he got up to that week two years ago when he was house sitting for you.”

“Oh god oh god...”

“Anyway the story?”

“I’m burning that couch.”

“Moving on.”

“Right, well we realised we both had feelings for each other, so we just decided to go for it.”

“That’s so cute! That reminds me of when we were all in uni, I got this call from Jeonghan in the middle of the night-“

“Sorry Wonwoo, the doorbell’s just rung, that’ll be Jeonghan. Do you wanna say hi?”

“Nah, I should get back to wedding planning. Have a good night Y/N!”

“Night Wonwoo.”

You hung up the phone as your door opened, Jeonghan’s figure standing in the doorway.

“I got kebabs!”

You ran up to rip the food out of his hands. “God I love you.”

He grinned smugly. “I know. Let’s eat!”

“Don’t sit there!”

Day 12 - Wednesday 14th November

cheolie_cherries: you guys are sickeningly cute 🤮 🤮 sunshineseok: about time you started dating! julijuli33: oh my god he’s actually taken 😭 good for y/n but we lost today wonworld: congrats guys!!

You couldn’t help but smile at the comments on Jeonghan’s instagram post of the two of you. There was a sneaky one he had taken of you working (which you had called and immediately asked him to take down, and of course he refused), as well as the kiss photo, to really prove the two of you were dating. Looking at it now sent flutters to your stomach. You had never seen yourself like this. Sure, you had dated, but it never really got all that serious, and you weren’t one for PDA, so photos like this were rare. That was probably what was causing this feeling. Right?

“Earth to Y/N.”

You snapped your head up to see Eunchae, your newest paralegal, at the doorway between your office and the hallway, grinning at you with a stack of files in her hand. She walked in, placing them on your desk.

“These need to be checked for errors.” She told you, and you waved her off.

“Got it. Anything else I can help you with?”

“Hmm, you could tell me what it is that’s on your phone making you look so giddy?”

“Nothing!” You quickly yelled, cringing at the volume your voice was raised to. “It was nothing, just having a good morning.”

“Mmm, sure…” She smiled knowingly at you, before walking away, closing the door softly behind her. When you heard the click of the door, you groaned, letting your body fall against the desk. That was too close.

Why were you even ogling? You had work to do, and you would be damned if you spent too long staring at your phone and it cost you the promotion.

They were announcing the newest junior partner next Friday, making the decision at the end of this week. You had to win. So you turned your phone onto silent and placed it face down on the furthest corner of your desk, burying your head into the paralegal’s work. No matter how much it beckoned you back, you would not lose.

Day 15 - Saturday 17th November

When you and Jeonghan stepped into Wonwoo’s venue the Saturday before the wedding, you were practically expecting a fairytale, and that’s almost what you saw. Minghao had dedicated so much time, you knew Eliza and Wonwoo would be so shocked when they finally saw the finished product.

Still, there was much to be done, and with less and less time, everyone was rushing even more to get as much as they could done. This time, you and Sakura were stringing up fairy lights across the pews for the optimal mood lighting, as Minghao called it, and a fire hazard as Jihoon called it (so they compromised to have it on the ceiling above the pews, meaning you had to stand on a 3 decade old ladder while Sakura tried her best to guarantee it didn’t collapse).

You slowly got down from the stairs, guided down by Sakura, when you saw Joshua waiting for you, and you felt your heart beat out of your chest.

“Hey Y/N, can I borrow you for a sec?” He asked, his deep brown eyes looked through you, as if they knew all your secrets.

“Yeah, I mean, Sakura do you…?”

“No, go ahead, I need a break anyway.”

Joshua offered you his arm, to which you took, and he led you to the corridor, secluded, hidden from prying eyes.

“What did you want to talk to me about?” You asked, waiting for Joshua as he glanced away from your view.

“Look, I really am happy for you, I promise,” He began, and you recoiled slightly, holding your elbows. What was he going to say? “But I’m questioning Jeonghan.”

“Like, as a person?”

“No, as a boyfriend.” The word dripped with malice from Joshua’s lips. “Look, I know you’ve only just started going out, but he went out with a lot of people before you,”

“So did I.”

“Yeah but that’s not the point, Y/N. I’m just saying, he’s putting on this whole show of being a good boyfriend, and being faithful and kind, but he never has been before.” You stood there silently, rocking slightly, but it didn’t seem to stop Joshua. “He’s known you practically all his life, he could have had you at any point, why now? And why is he suddenly acting so different compared to his past relationships?”

Joshua put a hand on your arm gently. “I’m not trying to hurt you, but if I were you, I’d be more suspicious of his motives.” He began rubbing circles into your forearm. “I love you, I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“What about Jeonghan? Don’t you care if he gets hurt?” You asked, your voice barely a whisper.

“He’s not the one I’m most worried about.”

You stepped back, and Joshua’s hand quickly dropped from your arm. “I need to go.”

You turned away, and walked back to the venue before he could say anything.

“Just think about what I said, Y/N!” Joshua yelled behind you, but that was the last thing you wanted to do.

Day 15 (cont.)

You were quiet the rest of the day, feeling more drained from that interaction than the intense physical labour Minghao was making you do (maybe it was the combination of both that killed you). You don’t think anyone noticed, aside from Sakura, who realised you weren’t talking but didn’t say much, but you were terrified of someone else realising, so when Jeonghan approached you with his car keys in his hand you didn’t hesitate to drag him out to the car park before anyone else could follow.

The two of you had been on the road for ten minutes in silence before Jeonghan finally broke it. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

“Who said anything’s wrong?” You did your best to speak nonchalantly, but Jeonghan didn’t miss the quiver in your voice.

“I’m not an idiot, I can tell when you’re upset.” You were still five minutes from your apartment, you couldn’t dance around it for that long. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Joshua pulled me to the side, asked me if we could talk, and then he told me I should be suspicious of you and your motives.” You admitted, looking out the passenger window. You felt choked up. How could he think like this?

“That’s what you’re worried about, Y/N?” Jeonghan questioned, a slight smile on his lips.

“You’re not?”

“Josh has been super stressed at his firm right? It’s cause one of the senior partners was caught embezzling. That, and he’s the only one of us going to Wonwoo’s wedding without a date.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, of course he’s going to act weirdly.” He brushed off your concerns with such an ease you forgot why they upset you in the first place. “Don’t take it to heart, I’m sure he’ll get back to normal soon.”

You breathed out a shaky sigh, feeling your doubts subside and settle.

“It’s cute you were so upset though.” He teased, and you groaned, cupping your face with your hands. “You were so worried about what people thought about me, about your boyfriend.”

“Shut up, Yoon.”

“How can I? My partner cares about me too much.”

“I regret everything.”

He chuckled, stopping his remarks as he watched you calm out the corner of his eye. A secondary realisation as to why Joshua was acting like this was on the front of his mind, but it was nowhere near as comforting. No, this thought was one that was now threatening, and could result in losing you forever.

Jeonghan didn’t want to think about the implications of Joshua being jealous. Instead, he focused on you, and the way you stared out the passenger window.

Day 15 (cont.)

“Have you still got that 12-pack at the back of your fridge?”

“Go nuts.” You told him, kicking your shoes off and lying down on the carpet on the floor. You and Jeonghan had made a mutual decision to pretend the couch wasn’t there until after Wonwoo’s wedding, then you could go shopping for a new one, and until then there was always the floor. “I haven’t been drinking much, trying to just get through this wedding and the promotion.”

“How’s that going?” Jeonghan asked, and you heard the faint pop of a bottle opener from your kitchen.

“They said they would make their decision on who would be the next junior partner by the end of the week, and make the announcement the next week. It’s Saturday now, and I haven’t heard anything, so I know what that means.”

Jeonghan settled next to you, handing you an opened beer bottle and clinking it against his own before taking a swig. “Don’t be too worried, maybe they’ll tell you you’re getting the promotion on Monday.”

“Maybe.”

“You give your everything to that firm. They’d be stupid to not want you as partner.”

“They would be stupid! How’s your boss?”

The two of you spent your evening reminiscing and complaining (two of your favourite pastimes) as you drank more and more, getting gradually more drunk, unlike on the night of Sofia’s party where you got embarrassingly shitfaced way too quickly. At some point in the night, you had cozied up to Jeonghan, and now you were nuzzled up in his arms, too comfortable to even consider moving.

“God, this whole thing is so stupid!” You yelled, throwing your pillow across the room with as much force as you could gather, sending it a few feet ahead of you. “We gotta fake date to get people off your back and onto mine, meanwhile Joshua’s not gotten jealous once and we haven’t even seen Jiwon!”

“Don’t say her name three times, or she’s gonna appear.” Jeonghan told you, wide eyed, taking a quick look around the room just to confirm she wasn’t there.

“Pussy.”

“She’s coming to the rehearsal dinner though!” Jeonghan told you, wagging his pointer finger in the air, making you giggle. “And that’s Friday, so it’s coming up soon.”

“Ahh the rehearsal dinner. What are we rehearsing again?”

“We’re rehearsing how to fake date, Y/N, we’ve been over this.”

“And we have a whole dinner for it?”

“Yes! How kind of Wonwoo.”

You burst into fits of laughter, lolling your head into the crook of Jeonghan’s shoulder as you laughed, and he followed suit. Moments like this were ones where you felt so comfortable with him, like the bubble was intact once more.

“We should start rehearsals now!” Jeonghan exclaimed, grabbing your elbows excitedly. “What do people in relationships do?”

You shrugged, and his arms moved with your shoulders. “I don’t know, you’re basically my first boyfriend.”

“Well you’re the first time I’m being a boyfriend.”

“What does that mean?”

“I don’t know.” He admitted, giggling. The two of you were so far gone, and neither of you had the capacity to realise it. “But I know people in relationships kiss! Kiss me Y/N!”

“Ew gross, you have cooties.” You pushed away his pouted lips.

“No I don’t! I’m vaccinated against cooties!” He whined, pulling you closer to him.

“What if I have cooties?”

“Just kiss me!”

Jeonghan grabbed your face, guiding it to his own, where his lips met yours in a kiss. It was delicate, a kiss for the sake of kissing, and you relished in the feeling. There was a comfort to kissing Jeonghan, a comfort you hadn’t felt for several years. He was comfort, and his kisses were a perfect specimen of that comfort. Kissing him was returning home after a winter’s day.

But decisions were sobering, and the feeling of your lips against his suddenly drained all the alcohol from Jeonghan’s body. He pulled away slowly to see you still half lidded, barely aware of your surroundings. He stole a glance at the clock on the wall, 2AM. Maybe the two of you should end the night here, before you did something you couldn’t go back from.

“Time to sleep, Y/N.”

“Don’t wanna.” You shrugged him off. “Wanna kiss you more!”

Jeonghan chuckled. “Me too. But we can’t.”

As he tucked you into bed, you were already on the verge of passing out, but he was wide awake. Jeonghan found himself hoping the hangover would be a bad one, a distraction from the memories he knew would flood back. He didn’t need to be reminded of how stupid he could be.

Day 16 - Sunday 18th November

Your hangover wasn’t as bad as last Saturday, but you still didn’t feel like dealing with the pounding headache. This time, as you went to wash your face and drink water in the bathroom, there was no Jeonghan to hold your hair back and give you panadol. He wasn’t in the kitchen causing a mess (cooking) either. No, your apartment was strangely quiet without his presence. As the pain in your head began to subside, you checked your phone to see a message sent three hours prior.

Hannie: work emergency - had to leave early. drink lots of water <3

Something felt so off about the message. Jeonghan’s boss was fairly laidback, and he had never had work emergencies that made him go to the studio on weekends. But you were also way too hungover to question it.

You hoped Jeonghan’s hangover had already passed.

Day 18 - Monday 20th November

You called Jeonghan twice. It went to voicemail both times.

Day 19 - Wednesday 21st November

There was a flurry among the paralegals that day. You tried to ignore it, to keep your head down, but the amount of papers flapping in the air made you feel like there was a hoard of pigeons down the corridor. You hated the ‘open door unless in a meeting’ policy at work: half of the lawyers your level didn’t even follow the rule anyway. You wouldn’t have followed it had you not wanted so desperately to show what a good team member you were, and yet here you were, on a Wednesday afternoon, with nothing to show you it.

There was an annoying rap against your open door, and you briefly lifted your head to see Cha Eunwoo leaning against your doorframe. Eugh. Cha Eunwoo. The two of you were in the same cohort: graduated from high school in the same year, graduated from uni at the same time, went to the same law school, and both went straight to Kim-Byun Legal Services, where you’ve spent the entirety of your careers. And throughout law school and now work, you have wanted to beat Cha Eunwoo no matter the cost, and you never managed it.

“Can I help you? I’ve got quite a bit of work to complete.”

Eunwoo waltzed right in, taking the seat in front of your desk. “I have news, but you have to promise not to tell anyone.”

“Do I even get a chance to say no? Not interested?”

Eunwoo was smart. You were smart too, but you liked to think (and Jeonghan liked to tell you) that you were smarter than most of those law students you competed against. Sure, they studied hard, they were good lawyers. But you were quick witted, and they couldn’t keep up. Eunwoo could. If it were anyone else, you wouldn’t be opposed to playing dirty, to pulling little tricks where you could to show him up, but Eunwoo would catch on. The only thing he didn’t seem to notice was how desperate you were to beat him. He never realised the battle you constantly fought, and it killed you. So you had to work twice as hard, three times as much, and play by the rules, just to win a challenge where you were the only one competing.

“I made partner!”

(At this point you stopped writing. This was the first time Eunwoo had ever managed to completely distract you.)

“I’m not supposed to tell anyone before Friday, that’s when they’re announcing it. But I get the new contract this evening, and you and I came in together, I know you would tell me if it was you!”

No shit you would. You would love to act all classy and poised, only to rub it in his face that you won! You did better! But no, Eunwoo won. Throughout everything, this was the first concrete time he’s won, and it’s shattered your reserve. You’re a good actor though, something that helped you get through this job, so you keep your head down.

“That’s great Eunwoo, congratulations. We’ll celebrate properly next week, I’ve got a rehearsal dinner on Friday though.” You met his gaze with a smile, even though there was rage behind it. Eunwoo didn’t seem to notice. “Now, I’ve got to get back to work.”

He nodded, barely containing his grin, shuffling out of your office. “See you later Y/N.”

God you wanted to cry. You wanted to yell and scream, cursing the world, the senior partners, and most of all Cha Eunwoo, who had showed you up once more.Your composure was slipping, a veil that threatened to fall off your head and reveal your facade to the world, but you refused to lose it at work. Instead, you closed the door as gently as you could, and hoped to god that the third time you called him, Jeonghan would pick up.

“Please, please, please pick up…” You whispered, as if you were summoning him.

“Hey, this is Jeonghan. I can’t come to the phone right now…”

Fuck. Voicemail. Once again.

You heard a beep and considered hanging up, but instead decided to send a message.

“Hey, um, I don’t know if you’re just busy, or you’re mad at me, I really hope it’s not the second. I haven’t heard from you in a while. That’s why I’m calling, I guess. Oh, and I’m not gonna be partner. I got passed over for it. Cha fucking Eunwoo made partner. Fuck. Sorry, I’m rambling now. I hope you’re doing okay? You know you can always come to me, but if you don’t want to that’s okay I guess, I’ll leave you be.”

Day 19 (cont.)

When you went home that day to punch your pillows and scream about Cha Eunwoo, the last thing you expected was to see Yoon Jeonghan walk in with chicken and beer as if nothing had happened, which was especially strange, as it was so expected on a normal day. But something was off. Something had changed. You just couldn’t quite put your thumb on what it was.

“Are you mad at me?” You asked, your eyes more glassy than you realised. You could barely see Jeonghan, but you knew he had that stupid damn smile. Right now it was infuriating. “Is that why you disappeared?”

“No, never.” He told you, setting the chicken down on your dinner table. “Things really have just been so busy at work, I’ve barely had time for anyone.”

“But you have time to drop by with chicken?”

“Cha Eunwoo is an idiot compared to you.” Jeonghan told you, opening the can of beer with a hiss. “They missed out on not promoting you.”

You didn’t say anything in response, just stuffing your mouth with chicken. Jeonghan passed you a beer can. “Maybe I shouldn’t. I’ve got work in the morning, and last time we drank I didn’t remember anything after we started bitching about that one actor, Park Sunwoo.”

Jeonghan smiled at you, but you barely noticed, your expression trained on the can in front of you.

“Yeah, I don’t remember either,” He told you. “But one can’t hurt. We drank way too much last time, I’ll keep you in check.”

You shrugged, opening the can, and clinking it against Jeonghan’s. “Thanks boyfriend.” The metal made a satisfying clank noise, and you missed the way Jeonghan looked over at you. Maybe it’s changed, or maybe you’ve been missing it for a long time.

Jeonghan is your blind spot. You didn’t like surprises, you didn’t like feeling caught out, and you would always make sure you weren’t, until it came to Jeonghan. No matter how fast you ran, he always seemed to beat you by a few seconds. No matter how strong you were, he could always lift more. You and Jeonghan both had that same competitive drive, but you could never quite match him. As a teenager it pushed you to be better and better, but you’ve come to accept it. You’ll never beat Jeonghan. That’s why it’s always better to be on his side.

You were observant, but you let your guard down around him. That was how Jeonghan won. He never let his guard down around anyone. He didn’t need to have it up around you, he didn’t keep secrets from you (and you didn’t keep them from him). But he kept everything close to his chest, and he wouldn’t let himself get caught out at any moment.

You wondered if it was hard for him to never reveal himself fully. You knew he still kept to himself around you. It was the only way he could still play tricks, pull pranks, and he loved it. He wouldn’t stay reserved if he didn’t want to. Still, it’s tough to feel like you can never fully reveal your facade.

But there were moments he did. Like tonight, as he tucked you into bed once you fell asleep, and kissed your forehead with a sweetness he didn’t know was there. Maybe he would reveal it to you one day, but all in good time.

You didn’t like feeling caught out. Jeonghan hated it with everything he’s got.

Day 21 - Friday 23rd November

“How are you feeling about seeing Jiwon?” Jeonghan didn’t answer, but the grip he had on your hand tightened as he stared down at the road.

He and Jiwon were a bad match. He knew that, he knew that from the moment they met and she started talking about having a husband around at home to help with the kids one day. Jeonghan knew he could never be that. Sure, he had daydreamed about settling down, raising a family. Jeonghan could never be the husband Jiwon wanted him to be. Could never be the husband he wanted to become. But she was just so pretty, and she would stare down at him with a feverish grin that just made him weak in the knees, how could he say no to her?

So for three weeks, they went out, which for Jeonghan just meant promises of another day he never intended to keep so he could get back to her apartment. But she fully intended on keeping those promises, and soon she was the one setting up dates, and changing her name in his phone (which really freaked Jeonghan out, because, when did she have access to his phone?) to seem more like a girlfriend. Maybe Jeonghan wanted a girlfriend, but he definitely didn’t want to be a boyfriend, and now he was stuck acting one.

Jiwon didn’t believe him when he told her weeks later that they were incompatible. Why would she? She believed every lie that dripped from his lips, and couldn’t wrap her head around why it suddenly changed overnight. She thought he was lying, just trying to keep her away, but a good girlfriend doesn’t give up so easily.

And so began the midnight calls, the uninvited show ups to his workplace or his apartment (Seungcheol definitely had a fun time telling her off, not that it kept her away), and the letters slid under your door begging for your help getting Jeonghan back. This is what led to the whole thing. She seemed to calm down once Jeonghan posted you on his instagram, but neither of you could predict what she would do when she saw you together.

She was Eliza’s sister in law (Eliza’s brother’s wife’s sister, who just had to attend), so her attendance was expected, and you knew it made Jeonghan all the more nervous, especially in the way he would speed round corners. It didn’t frighten you, but worry for your friend escaped you anyway, and you squeezed his hand whenever the car revved.

Jeonghan pulled into the street along Wonwoo’s house, seeing cars littered along the side, and Jeonghan pulled the car into park. You took his hand off the gear shift and brought it to your lips, kissing it comfortingly. “Everything’s gonna be alright. I promise.”

“You promise?” He took a glance at you, and smiled cheekily. “Well what happens if you break the promise? What do I get?”

“I’ll cook you an actually decent brekkie to apologise, not those rubber pancakes you’ve been serving me these past few weeks.”

“Hey! You love those pancakes!”

“The texture is so chewy and terrible Jeonghan, I’m begging you to just use a recipe.”

“I don’t need one.” He huffed, but he never let go of your hand.

You rolled your eyes at his dramatics. Honestly, he was right. You did love the pancakes. Of course, they were way too chewy and tasted of nothing without lashings of sugar and lemon, but you loved that Jeonghan had been making them for you all the past mornings you had spent together.

“Cmon, it’s time to head inside.”

The two of you walked hand in hand towards the door, and you could feel the deep breaths Jeonghan took to calm his pulsing heart. He really didn’t want to cause a scene or do anything to ruin Wonwoo’s rehearsal dinner (or god forbid the actual wedding), but he felt so much more secure with your hand in his.

You weren’t surprised to see Wonwoo’s place completely packed. He and Eliza were having a fairly small wedding, but with the sheer number of family members on Eliza’s side, their starter apartment was bursting at the seams. You held onto Jeonghan as tightly as you could, and still you felt like he was slipping from your grasp.

“Y/N! Jeonghan!” A familiar voice greeted you, and you turned to see Jun greet you. You hugged him gently as he started going on about seating plans (there wasn’t much of a plan, with half of the guests eating off of paper plates on the floor, but Wonwoo had made sure to save his nice carpet for you and a few of his friends). “Don’t worry, the two of you are together, of course. Minghao stayed up all night setting up this seating chart.” You scanned your eyes to see who was attending, and saw most of your friends, minus one.

“Is Joshua here?” You cut Jun off with a worried look. “He was acting really weird last Saturday.”

“Yeah, he’s helping out in the kitchen.” Jun told you, pointing down past the archway to where there was (hopefully steam) pouring out. “He seemed fine to me though, he’s probably over whatever it was. Oh! Mingyu’s just arrived. He’s so late, that goddamn best man should have been here an hour ago! Got to run.”

Jun rushed past you, leaving Jeonghan and you hand in hand in the entryway. Jeonghan turned to look at you. “Is this a I want to see Joshua and flaunt our thriving and perfect relationship at him so he gets jealous?”

You pushed his shoulder. “No. It’s an I think I should be avoiding him thing. I’m still a little shocked by what he told me.”

Jeonghan smiled down at you. “Good luck avoiding him when we’re sitting with him at dinner.”

“What?”

“Yeah, you really have to pay more attention to Jun’s rambles. They often contain useful information.”

You groaned, leaning your head against his arm. He smiled, leading you towards the carpet, where Seokmin and Seungkwan were already seated. You waved a hello towards them, not wanting to remove yourself from Jeonghan’s side.

“God these two are way too cute together.” Seokmin spoke, nudging Jeonghan’s side.

You blushed, hiding your face as much as you could. Jeonghan was almost shocked at your display, you were far too good at playing the doting S/O, but it was working. He watched the way Joshua stared at you from the kitchen doorway. He knew without a doubt from the way Joshua looked over at you how jealous he was. That was what he wanted, right?

After a few minutes of small talk, Joshua eventually sat down next to you (even though there was a free space between to Jeonghan and Seokmin, which Jihoon ended up filling, with his husband settling in next to him) and the rehearsal dinner began. Luckily, with Minghao as wedding planner, there was never a free moment for Joshua to steal your attention. Jeonghan wasn’t sure if you or him was more glad about the fact, but he kept an arm around you at all times, separating your shoulder from Joshua’s.

As the dinner went on, with less formality and more people moving around the space to congratulate the future couple and catch up with old friends, your ‘table’ settled into a comfortable talk. Jun was right, Joshua seemed fine, which only made Jeonghan feel more uneasy. It helped settle your nerves though, and Jeonghan realised your grip on his side had loosened, and you were leaning towards Joshua ever so slightly. No one else at the table would realise, but Jeonghan knew, and he was sure Joshua did too.

“Honestly I’m still surprised Jeonghan actually had the guts to ask Y/N out.” Seokmin said offhandedly, and you looked up at Jeonghan with a cute grin. You were so good at playing the role, but why didn’t it feel like a role anymore? Jeonghan must be losing his touch if he was falling for your act.

Joshua took a sip of his wine, smiling as he spoke. “We all thought you two would never get a date before you realised you liked each other. Good thing you finally manned up to it, Jeonghan.”

Your gaze suddenly snapped towards the crowd. “Why does everyone always assume Jeonghan asked me out?” Jeonghan tensed, and everyone surrounding you looked away from your inquisitive gaze. Joshua opened his mouth to speak, but he was cut off by Jiwon’s commanding presence.

She was so short and petite, keeping to herself, but she walked with such a force that commanded attention. Her eyes were trained not on Jeonghan, but instead focused closely on you.

“And who did ask who out?” She asked sweetly, but you felt your tongue go numb under her gaze.

Jeonghan held you closer to his side, and you settled into him with comfort. “We kissed, and both decided to go for it. It was mutual.”

She hummed, still staring at you. “Well. I’m happy for you two.” And with that, she turned on the ball of her foot, walking away like nothing happened. You let out a shaky breath, and felt Jeonghan do the same. As Seungkwan and Seokmin started hissing gossip about Jiwon, you reached out for Jeonghan’s hand, relishing in the comfort of his touch.

“God she’s terrifying.” You told him in a whisper. “At least it’s over.”

He grinned at you. “Damn, I was looking forward to your breakfast in bed special.”

“You think I’m serving you in my bed? You would spill it everywhere, no way am I cleaning up that mess.”

“You wound me, babe.”

Jeonghan knew Joshua was staring, maybe that’s why when the urge to kiss you overcame him, he took it, placing a kiss on your cheek, as close to your lips as he could get. You let him, only to wonder why well and truly after.

Day 22 - Saturday 24th November

You were awoken by the now familiar smell of Jeonghan’s rubber chicken pancakes, and you followed the smell out to the kitchen.

“How do you always manage to wake up before me?”

“You always sleep in way too late.” He told you, flipping a pancake onto your plate and pushing it towards you. “Last day!”

“Huh?”

“It’s the wedding today. After today, we will no longer be officially dating.”

“Oh, right.”

You didn’t realise how quickly three weeks could pass. There was a strange sense of dread that passed through your system, although you blamed the pancakes. It felt weird that after everything, tomorrow all would be as it was before, as if this whole ordeal never happened.

“We’re gonna have to stage a breakup, of course.” Jeonghan told you, still flipping pancakes. “But we can plan that out tomorrow. In the meantime eat up! We’ll have to leave in an hour.”

You nodded along, feeling too tired to speak so early in the morning (10:30). Jeonghan sat down next to you, shovelling down pancakes as quickly as he could (how he managed to chew through those was a mystery to you) before excusing himself to your bathroom while you continued eating. God, why were these so salty today? Jeonghan’s latest prank, you suspected, but you didn’t have the strength to confront him, especially once you heard the splash of the shower turning on. You began cleaning dishes, not waiting for Jeonghan to finish showering before you stole the hot water, and giggled as you heard his shrieks. Hopefully the wedding would give you a little bit more energy.

Day 22 (cont.)

You and Jeonghan arrived at the warehouse at 11:40. You still had a few minutes before the ceremony would begin, and knowing how these things tended to go, you knew you had plenty of time. You walked hand in hand with Jeonghan, and tried not to think about how this was the last time you would be able to as you settled into a pew. Soon after, Joshua sat down next to you, clearly dateless. He didn’t say anything, and aside from a nod of recognition, you didn’t say anything to him either, instead choosing to rest your head on Jeonghan’s shoulder.

Silence is comforting, whenever it’s done right. With you and Jeonghan, silence never felt awkward, it was just a frame of being with him. It was relaxed, you felt no need to fill the air with meaningless speak. Your silence was interrupted as Seungcheol ran up to Jeonghan.

“Han, we need your help. Wonwoo can’t find his cufflinks, he’s dropped them somewhere, and it is freaking Mingyu out, please come look.”

Jeonghan looked at you, but you smiled. “Go help them. I’ll be right here.” He hurriedly followed Seungcheol to Wonwoo’s dressing room, cursing him under his breath.

You were left alone with Joshua, and the silence suddenly felt suffocating. It didn’t seem to bother him, as he spoke quietly about the venue. “Isn’t it all so gorgeous? Minghao really did a great job pulling this off.”

You hummed, leaning over to point out the fairy lights strung along the ceiling. “See those? That was all me.”

“Ahh, I was wondering. They’re my favourite.”

You smiled, and Joshua turned to face you properly. “I’m sorry about what I said, Y/N. I didn’t mean to scare you. I think I was just jealous.”

Your eyes widened. You felt strangely off guard. “Jealous?”

“Yeah. I just broke things off with Heejin, and then having not dated anyone seriously in, I think ever, Jeonghan suddenly lands a great person like you.” He admitted shyly, squeezing your shoulder with his hand.

“I landed him, too.” You reminded him, but you could barely process what you were saying as you realised he hadn’t moved his hand.

“Of course. You two are good together.” He told you, and you smiled.

“We are.”

Day 22 (cont.)

The pop of a champagne bottle was one you couldn’t miss. As you entered the reception hall, your eyes gravitated towards the bar, and you pulled Jeonghan along with you.

“I can’t believe how many of our friends are married now.” You told Jeonghan as you waited for the bartender to return with your drinks (or water, in Jeonghan’s case. He was determined to stick to his word until the very end). “First Seungcheol, then Soonyoung - who even saw that one coming - then Jihoon and now Wonwoo.”

“We’re getting into that phase of our lives.” He shrugged. “Makes sense to me.”

“Yeah but what about you and me? We’ve never even properly dated.” You pouted. “What happens when they all leave us?”

“Then we’ll have each other.” He told you. “Have you already started drinking? The reception’s only just begun.”

You grinned sheepishly. “We got here late! Anyway, it’s been such a hellish few weeks! Let me have this.” The bartender approached you with a shot glass that you quickly downed, and you pulled Jeonghan to your assigned seats (next to each other, of course). You were greeted by the same table as the night before, and you waved to Seokmin and Jihoon who sat opposite you.

“Where’s Joshua?” You asked, and giggled when Seungkwan pointed towards the flailing figure on the dance floor.

“He’s already drunk and living his best life.”

“Good for him!”

At the mention of his name, Joshua stumbled over, grabbing your hands in an attempt to pull you to the dance floor with him. You looked over at Jeonghan, your boyfriend for only a few more hours, but he waved you off. “Go enjoy yourself.”

You grinned, letting Joshua lead you. Jeonghan smiled as he watched you, his chest tugging with a strange feeling.

“Why’d you let him take Y/N?” Jihoon asked. “You know he likes them.”

The tugging in his chest felt stronger, but Jeonghan ignored it. “As long as they’re having fun.”

It doesn’t matter anyway. They like him too.

Seokmin and Seungkwan eventually joined them, and Jihoon and his husband went dancing as well. Jeonghan instead placed his attention on his phone, flipping through all the stories of Wonwoo’s wedding venue he had been tagged in. There was one, posted by Soonyoung, that he couldn’t seem to tear his eyes from. You were in the corner, next to Jeonghan, and there was something so sweet about the way you stared at him. It was dangerous, convincing him of something that wasn’t real.

“Hey Jeongie.”

Jeonghan looked up to see Jiwon, sat in the seat that once belonged to you. She had that same cat like gaze that made him fall for her initially, but now he felt nothing. He really was bad at committing, he couldn’t even commit to finding Jiwon attractive.

“Hi Jiwon. What are you doing here?”

She cooed, running her hand up and down his arm, much to Jeonghan’s discomfort. He looked away, breaking the eye contact she was trying to keep.

“Did you leave me for Y/N?” She asked, tutting under her breath. “I remember everything you told me, how they’ve never really dated. They’re not partner material, Jeongie, I am.”

“I didn’t leave you for Y/N,” He began, a shiver trailing up his spine. “We ended it because I didn’t want to date you any more. Y/N came after that.”

Jiwon leaned close, her lips barely separate from Jeonghan’s ear, and he couldn’t lean any further back in his chair. “Maybe not for long. They don’t seem to like the way we’re talking.”

Jeonghan tore Jiwon’s hand from his arm, looking to the dance floor to see tears close to spilling out of your eyes. When you met his gaze, you ran away, not willing to let him see you like this. Why did it feel this way? Joshua glared at Jeonghan, and quickly followed you as you ran down the corridor.

“Jiwon just stop!” Jeonghan raised his voice, cringing at the volume (and the heads that turned towards the commotion). “It’s over, just leave me alone, please.”

He ignored her whimpered sobs as he got out of his seat and scrambled to find you, but the sounds of Jiwon crying made him feel awful. He didn’t exactly handle their relationship well, and he wasn’t handling what was left of yours well either.

As he ran to find you, his heard lurched when he heard your own voice muffled by cries.

“It’s s-so dumb…”

“Clearly he was just trying to make her jealous, Y/N.” What was Joshua telling you?

“He wasn’t doing that.”

“You don’t deserve someone who will use you.”

Jeonghan couldn’t deny the guilt those words caused on his poor heart. Sure, you knew what was happening, but he was still using you, wasn’t he? It was his idea to start this whole fake dating thing.

“I wouldn’t use you like that.”

“Josh…”

Just as he had caught up to the sound of your voice, Jeonghan caught a glimpse of you in Joshua’s embrace, with his lips on yours. And his aching heart shattered.

You pulled away from Joshua to see Jeonghan’s forlorn expression, a sight you don’t think you had ever seen before.

“Hannie, I promise, it’s not what it-“

“Looks like? What a cliche Y/N.” He scoffed, moving away from you.

“Hey man, I kissed them.” Joshua spoke, dropping a protective arm over you, one that weighed you down and you wriggled out of quickly. “Besides, serves you right for using Y/N to make Jiwon jealous.”

“You’re so fucking stupid Joshua.” Jeonghan spat. “They were using me to make you jealous, looks like it worked, huh?”

“No, Jeonghan, wait-“

“Deal’s off, Y/N. We’re no longer dating.”

And he ran. And no matter how fast you ran too, you knew you wouldn’t be able to catch up to him.

Day 23 - Sunday 25th November

You woke up on Wonwoo’s couch with a massive headache and chest pain, although you knew only one of those was due to your hangover. He and Eliza ended up taking you home, luckily they weren’t going on their honeymoon for another week. Wonwoo was rubbing your back as you vomited, and the worst pain was knowing that it would never be Jeonghan doing this role anymore.

“I still don’t get it.” He admitted. “Although most of these weeks have been a blur for me.”

“I’m not really supposed to tell you.” You told him, sipping the glass of water in your hands. “We made these rules.”

“Tell me anyway, because no matter what it is it’s not worth losing him forever.”

You sighed, and settled against the tiled floor. “It’s a long story.”

“It’s a Sunday. Quit stalling and tell me what happened.”

“Fine fine!” You gasped, shoving Wonwoo slightly. “So pushy.”

“You know how Jiwon wouldn’t leave Jeonghan alone?” Wonwoo nodded along with your story. “Well, we knew she would be at the wedding, and Jeonghan really wanted her to take the hint that he wasn’t interested, so we decided to date. Well, fake date. Just to get her off his back.”

“And you agreed to this?”

“I didn’t really want to? But…”

“You were in love with Joshua.” You stared at Wonwoo in shock. He smiled back at you. “You’re not as difficult to read as you like to think you are. Maybe the other idiots we call friends can’t see it, but it was fairly obvious to me.”

“But you didn’t realise Jeonghan and I weren’t actually together?”

“Just continue the story already.”

“Well yeah. Jeonghan convinced me we could make Joshua jealous, so I agreed. We said we wouldn’t tell anyone, and we would post about it online so everyone believed it was real, and then once Jiwon backed off at the wedding, we would call it off.” You recalled the story, rubbing your head as the pain settled and you felt like your skull was cracking open. “God do you have any painkillers?”

“I don’t really get hangovers.”

“You lucky bitch.”

“What happened at the reception, Y/N?”

You cringed at the flood of memories. Most of the time when you got drunk and made bad decisions, your brain saved you the embarrassment of remembering everything. This time, you couldn’t escape the images. Of Jiwon and Jeonghan, of the way Jeonghan looked at you, the way he ran away from you.

“Joshua and I were dancing, and when I looked back I saw Jiwon flirting with Jeonghan.” You gulped, feeling an all too familiar lump in your throat. “And I ran off.”

“Why’d you run?”

“I don’t know. And then Joshua kissed me, and I thought it would be perfect, but it felt wrong.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know! And then Jeonghan saw, and I don’t know why but he was so upset, and then he left. He left me, Wonwoo.”

“You really don’t know why he was upset?” Wonwoo questioned, and you met his gaze with a confused expression. “Even after all this time, Jeonghan can still surprise you, wow.”

“What do you know?”

“I know that just like you, Jeonghan is not as difficult to read as he thinks he is.” Wonwoo told you, stroking your hair. “Nine years ago, at 2:30 in the morning, I got a call from Jeonghan, who was so excited because he finally got the nerve to kiss you, and he went for it. And then the next day, nothing. And you two continued this dance around never going out, even when everyone could see how much you liked each other.”

“That’s not true, I don’t like Jeonghan.”

“Then why is Jiwon bothering you? Why did you even agree to this whole thing? There are easier ways to get close to Joshua that don’t involve pretending to date your best friend.”

“I…” For once, you didn’t have anything to say.

“You do know, Y/N. You have to stop acting so blind when it comes to Jeonghan. All the signs are there, you just don’t want to address them.”

He offered you his hand, pulling you up off of the bathroom floor. “Want to know why we all thought Jeonghan asked you out? It’s because we all knew he likes you. It’s actually pretty obvious.”

Day 24 - Monday 26th November

There was a knocking at your door. This wasn’t like Jeonghan’s courtesy knocks before he let himself into your house, this was a gentle knock that barely reverberated through the room.

You walked up to let Joshua into your house. He was shocked to see you like this - tear stricken cheeks, eyes and nose red and running.

“You look…”

“Shit, I know.” You finished for him. “What do you want, Joshua?”

“I wanted to apologise.” He looked over your shoulder expectantly.

“Fine, come in, but you can’t come any further than the entryway. I just don’t want everyone to be spectators of this.”

Joshua followed you in, shuffling awkwardly. He acted as if he had never been in your apartment before. You weren’t entirely sure he had been. You let him shut the door gently behind him, and you leaned against the wall, blocking him from moving any closer in.

“I shouldn’t have kissed you while you were dating Jeonghan. I’m sorry.”

You clicked your tongue, not moving position. “Yeah, that was messed up. You’re Jeonghan’s friend. You’re my friend. I felt like you were just fighting over me to compete with him.”

“Y/N, that’s not true.” He reached his hand out to caress your arm, but you pulled it back.

“What’s even been going on with you?” You asked. “I’ve barely seen you since your breakup, none of us have, and you were a total dick the whole time Jeonghan and I were dating.”

Joshua scoffed, and you gasped at his attitude. “Yeah well you guys weren’t actually together though, right?”

“That doesn’t matter.”

“Yes it does!” He raised his voice as he began to yell. “Why are you upset? It’s not like you were cheating or anything, it wasn’t real.”

“Are you kidding? You didn’t know we weren’t actually together! What’s your excuse?”

“My excuse is that according to Jeonghan, the only reason you were even pretending to date was to make me jealous, and now you’re upset that it worked? I’m jealous. I’m jealous that Jeonghan got to go out with you and play the part of boyfriend, even if it was fake.”

“That’s not the reason.”

“Oh, so you didn’t want to make me jealous?”

He was staring at you with an intensity you hadn’t seen since law school, and it reminded you of the Joshua you once knew. The Joshua you fell for. And as you met his gaze, you realised all your feelings for him were gone. Every desire for him to fall for you like you had fallen for him had dissipated, because you weren’t sure you had ever fallen for him. You loved his drive, maybe that was all you loved.

“I did.”

“So what changed?”

“What do you think, Josh?”

He scoffed, dropping his gaze to the floor. “Of course. Of course I can’t beat him.”

“Joshua…”

“No, just,” He sighed, shuffling away from you. “Why do you always choose him?”

“I don’t, but I’m choosing him now.” You told him, And you were. After twenty two days with Jeonghan, Joshua didn’t feel as important to you anymore.

Joshua turned to leave your apartment. “Josh.” He looked at you, and you met his gaze for the last time. “You should have kissed me all the years I was pining after you, not once I wasn’t an option anymore. Maybe it would have been different.”

He left without another word, and your door shut so gently as he left.

Day 25 - Tuesday 27th November

You hadn’t been blocked. You could still see the messages, you knew he was reading them, he just wouldn’t respond. He wasn’t picking up either.

“Cmon Jeonghan…” You whispered under your breath. “Please just pick up.”

“Hey, this is Jeonghan. I can’t come to the phone right now…”

You groaned at the now too familiar sound of his voicemail. Was he ever going to talk to you again?

Okay, it was kind of your fault. Had it been anyone else, this would have felt so obvious, but you were so oblivious when it came to Jeonghan, and now here you were, pining for your best friend, hoping he would finally return.

“Hey Han,” You started talking, but you had no idea what to say. The only thoughts running through your mind were please just come back to me, but you weren’t sure how to say that without bursting into tears. “I, uh, I really want to talk to you, please. I miss you.”

You hung up, only to find your fingers reaching for the contact once more.

“Hey, this is Jeonghan. I can’t come to the phone right now…”

“Hi again. I want you to know that, umm, I spoke to Wonwoo. He called me an idiot, basically.” You chuckled as you recounted that morning, although you knew Jeonghan probably wouldn’t be laughing as he listened. If he listened. If you two weren’t… wherever this had led you, you know he would probably laugh at that, but he wasn’t here anymore. “I didn’t know. I should have known, but I didn’t, and I just really want to talk to you. Please.”

“Hey, this is Jeonghan. I can’t come to the phone right now…”

“Hey, um, I didn’t like the kiss. The one with Joshua. I think I did kiss him back? But I didn’t like it. I would choose our posed cafe kiss so much sooner than the one he gave me. I don’t even want it. Please talk to me.”

“Hey, this is Jeonghan. I can’t come to the phone right now…”

“It was so stupid of me to be jealous of Jiwon. I know you don’t like her, I just, I was so drunk and stressed out, I freaked out. It was so so stupid, and I’m sorry, but I hope you know that it was jealousy because I wanted to be in her place. God, this is so embarrassing.”

“Hey, this is Jeonghan. I can’t come to the phone right now…”

“I don’t think I like Joshua? I know, drastic turn. I think I just looked up to him, growing up. He’s always been so out of reach and ahead of everyone else, I think I mistook it for love when it wasn’t. I don’t love him.”

“Hey, this is Jeonghan. I can’t come to the phone right now…”

“I know I fucked up. Well, Joshua fucked up most of all, but I shouldn’t have run off like that. But you ran too. You didn’t let me explain. And last week, you disappeared. I know you said you were busy but it felt like you were running from me? And I fucked up because I ran, so you’re no better than me.”

“Hey, this is Jeonghan. I can’t come to the phone right now…”

“Please ignore what I just said. I’m not upset with you. Well, actually, I am. I think I’m mostly upset with myself? Or mostly upset with Joshua? But I’m still a little upset with you. Please can we just talk?”

“Hey, this is Jeonghan. I can’t come to the phone right now…”

“I’ll leave you alone after this one, I promise. I just… I miss you. And I think I need an explanation, because I’ve been clueless about this for way too long.”

“Hey, this is Jeonghan. I can’t come to the phone right now…”

“I love you. In every sense of the word.”

Day 26 - Wednesday 28th November

You felt so strange in front of Jeonghan’s door. Although he spent so much time with you in your house, very rarely would you visit him in his. You and him would always blame his roommate, but truthfully you knew it wasn’t that. Even though Vernon wasn’t the tidiest or most respectful of privacy, you were happy when he was around. No, Jeonghan’s house was a barrier between the two of you, a final wall he had placed to protect himself. And now you were destroying the that sanctity.

You almost felt bad, but you were so desperate for him to talk to you again. Sure, the two of you had arguments, but nothing like this, and you weren’t sure that without drastic measures, you would ever even see Jeonghan again. So here you were, your knuckles rapt against Jeonghan’s door, waiting to see him.

The door swung open, but Jeonghan wasn’t there. Instead stood Vernon, who looked like he had only rolled out of bed at the sound of your knocking. Honestly, had it been true, it wouldn’t have surprised you, despite it being 8:30 in the evening. You had no idea what this boy’s schedule was, if he even followed a set one.

“Oh, hey Vernon.”

“Hey Y/N.’

You shuffled on your feet. You and Vernon were friends - you practically grew up together, why did this feel so awkward?

“Cool party, by the way.” He cocked his head in confusion. “Sofia’s party! Two weeks ago, I know you helped her set it up. It was fun, from what I remember, Jeonghan dragged me along to it and I got very drunk very quickly.” Okay, you were rambling now. That helped. “Speaking of, is he here?”

“He?”

“Jeonghan? Is he home?”

“Nah, he’s um..” Vernon trailed off, and you cringed. Clearly he had told Vernon to ward you away. “He’s staying back late at work. Do you, do you want me to tell him you were here?”

You sighed, feeling your shoulders slump. “Don’t bother. Have a good evening, Hansol.”

“See you around Y/N.”

Vernon let the door shut in front of him, He hated lying, and unlike his roommate, he was absolutely terrible at it.

“If Y/N comes, just tell her I’m out.”

Jeonghan wouldn’t talk to Vernon. He barely spoke to Seungcheol, who was dropping by every night to check up on his friend. He hadn’t seen him for more than a few minutes every day as he left for work and stumbled back home afterwards. All Vernon could hope for was that you solved your issues with him soon. A grumpy Jeonghan was a nightmare, a heartbroken Jeonghan was a ghost.

Day 27 - Thursday 29th November

Eunwoo’s office had been mostly empty for a few days now, but today he picked up the last two boxes to take to his new office, a floor above. Instead of seeing his smug face across from your office door, all you saw was a clean desk, no files or loose papers across the surface like there had been before. It felt like a cruel reminder of what you were so close to gaining. Partnership. Jeonghan. You couldn’t tell which was making you more depressed currently.

You barely noticed when Eunchae walked up to your office, knocking gently against your open door. “You alright, Y/N?”

“Hmm? Yeah I’m fine Eunchae. Can I help you with anything?” You spoke, not lifting your head to meet her gaze. You didn’t want her to see the bags that had formed under your puffy eyes. It’s hard to fall asleep these days.

“I just wanted to say you should have been the next junior partner, not Eunwoo.” She barely whispered, and you understood why. The office behind her was practically haunted by Eunwoo’s cheery spirit. “He’s a good lawyer, but he barely pays attention to us and the newer lawyers. You take good care of us.”

You smiled at her words. “Thanks Eunchae.”

She walked in, letting the door close behind her. You had given up all pretence of following the dumb rules like commandments, and Eunchae caught on quick. “That’s why you’ve been so sad this week, right?”

“That’s.. half of it. How have you noticed?”

She shrugged. “I’m smarter than they are. What’s the other half?”

“Boy troubles, I guess.”

She leaned in. “Is this about your boyfriend? The one you posted on insta?” You nodded, and she smiled, pleased with her detective skills. “What happened?”

“He didn’t tell me he liked me until too late, and now I’m realising that I like him too, but he won’t talk to me.”

“I’m sorry, why doesn’t your boyfriend already know you like him?”

“It’s a long story.”

“Okay..” She trailed off. “Have you told him how you really feel?”

“Yeah, but he won’t talk to me anyway.”

“Tell him again.” She advised. “People are stupid, they don’t believe what’s right in front of him. What have you got to lose, anyway?”

Day 27 (cont.)

“Hey, this is Jeonghan. I can’t come to the phone right now…”

“I don’t want to fill your inbox, so I swear, if you don’t respond to this, I’ll leave you alone forever. But god I’m going to miss you if you leave. You’re such a heartbreaker, Hannie, you’re about to break mine. I’m in love with you. I’m sorry it took me so long to see it. Please just, let me know if you feel the same, or if everyone was wrong. I guess if I don’t hear from you again I’ve gotten my answer. I.. Goodnight, Jeonghan.”

Day 28 - Friday 30th November

You hadn’t heard anything from Jeonghan. All night, you stayed up, staring at your phone, hoping it would light up with a call, a text, anything. God, you would even settle for a subtweet, but nothing. When 5AM hit and the light of dawn peered in through your blinds you had given up. Jeonghan wanted nothing to do with you.

You called in sick to work. It wasn’t difficult, crying will make you sound all stuffy and blocked. You hoped the sniffles that slipped from your lips weren’t understood as what they truly were: forming scars. Whatever, it gave you an excuse to stay in bed all day.

You kept your promise, not to bother Jeonghan again, but couldn’t find it in yourself to delete conversations or photos. Your heart was shattered, and the pieces were lost deep in the text messages he sent, you couldn’t delete them so easily.

You made one phone call, to Wonwoo, when you woke again at 5PM.

“He hates me, Woo. I think I lost him forever.”

“If that’s really the case then he’s an idiot. Just like you.”

You felt no desire to reach out to anyone else, or let anyone know you were alive. You didn’t feel alive. All you wanted was to sink into your mattress and hide from the world. The blankets covering your face would have to do in the meantime. It was a weak shield, but you were hidden all the same, and that’s all you needed.

Someone came to check on you earlier, or perhaps it was just your neighbour. You heard the knocks, but pretended no one was home. They left quickly. You felt so forgettable, so discarded. What a pathetic existence.

9:21 PM flashed across your phone screen, but you didn’t seem to notice it. It was silenced on your kitchen counter, far away from you, because you knew if you kept it nearby you would do something stupid. And you were careful. You needed to be even more careful than before, now that you were nursing a broken heart.

When the knocks on your door sounded you hid even further away. They would go away, they all did. And the knocks did subside, replaced instead by the clink of keys. Fuck, was it your landlord? What was he doing here? The door opened, and you pulled the sheets tight over your head. Hopefully he would just leave.

You heard footsteps slowly lead to your room. Fuck, was this a home invasion? Maybe you should be more scared, but you couldn’t find it in you to do anything but stay in a frozen position. Your bedroom door creaked open, and you felt your heartbeat in your eyes.

This was it. You were going to die, and you couldn’t even see Jeonghan one last time before some stranger took you out in your own home. Well, the apartment you had rented for years. God, you were almost thirty, and you were about to die alone in a starter apartment you never bothered to leave. Why was this world so cruel?

“Y/N.”

Fuck. It wasn’t your landlord. It was Jeonghan. Somehow, when being confronted with the person you’ve been trying to reach for days, your confidence disappears.

“I know you’re not sleeping, Y/N.”

Maybe if you didn’t respond he would go away? Did you even want him to? Why weren’t you doing anything?

“I saw you left your phone in the kitchen. You’ve got a voicemail, by the way. It’s from an hour ago. I’m gonna play it for you, okay?”

“Hey Y/N. It’s me, obviously. I um, you’re right. I shouldn’t have run away. I was being a coward. I’ve been a coward the entire time we’ve been friends, because I don’t know when, but at some point I feel so hopelessly in love with you and I’ve been hiding it this entire time. Fuck, I really need to see you. Can I come over?”

Your protective sheets were pulled from your head, and you were met with the sight of Jeonghan, who’s eyes were as puffy as your own. He smiled down at you.

“You look like shit.”

“So do you.”

“Yeah, well, I was heartbroken.” Jeonghan grinned as he spoke. God, he was so beautiful. “I thought my best friend who I’ve loved for years didn’t love me back.”

You sat up, reaching for Jeonghan’s hand, which he gladly gave you. “Why didn’t you ever tell me before now?”

“Had to protect my fragile heart.” He told you, locking into your eyes. You were frozen in place once more. You had never once thought of Jeonghan as fragile, yet here he was, baring his soul to you, like a glass canary had been placed in your hands. “I was so content to just hide it all my life, watch as you fall deeper in love with Joshua, and then I discovered I really loved being your fake boyfriend. I never thought I would enjoy being a boyfriend, but something about being with you makes it so easy.”

All the walls you swore you would put up had been torn down by Jeonghan before you could even begin construction.

“Besides, what exactly was I supposed to think when you hated our first kiss?”

You gasped. “I didn’t hate it! We both agreed it felt weird the next morning.”

“Sure, I definitely thought that, and wasn’t just agreeing with you to save myself the embarrassment of rejection.”

You cringed as you thought of that fateful day. “I don’t know Hannie, when I woke up that morning things felt as if they had changed, and it scared me.” You blushed, feeling regretful of your naivety. “I was so scared of things changing for the worse I never considered that they could get better.”

Jeonghan’s hand met your jaw, pulling you towards him with such a sense of nostalgia. “What about now? Are you still scared?”

“A little.” You whispered. You didn’t need to say it any louder, you knew he could hear you. “But I don’t want my fears to hold me back any more.”

“Oh yeah? Show me.”

You rolled your eyes at Jeonghan, before doing exactly that, and capturing his lips with your own. No fireworks, no eruptions. Kissing him was the comfort you had craved for years. Jeonghan was your home.

You pulled away from him, letting your eyes flutter open. “That count as proof?”

He hummed. “I don’t know, why don’t you show me again?”

“You’re such a loser, Yoon.” You teased, but did exactly as he wanted.

Day 1 (of forever to come) - Saturday 1st December

This past month had no shortage of you waking with Jeonghan in your apartment, but this was the first time you had woken up beside him, arms tangled together. Your phone was buzzing incessantly under your pillow, and who thought it was a good idea to interrupt your sleep so early in the morning?

Oh, Wonwoo. You should probably give him peace of mind, after everything he’s done for you.

“Hello?” You spoke groggily, trying as best as you could to whisper so as to not wake Jeonghan, still asleep next to you.

“Y/N? Have you seen Jeonghan recently? I know you guys are fighting, but Vernon told me he left last night without saying anything and he’s still not back yet, it’s already 10.”

“Wow, Vernon’s up early on a Saturday. I’m not even out of bed yet.”

Wonwoo hissed through your speakers. “Take this seriously! Your best friend is missing!”

Jeonghan stirred, and before you could say anything, he spoke instead. “Y/N, tell your friend to hush, I’m trying to sleep.”

You stayed silent, and Wonwoo was silenced too.

“Is that…”

“Yeah, he’s here with me. He’s not missing, you can tell Vernon he’s alright.”

“Holy shit! He’s in bed with you?”

“He stayed the night…”

“Get it.”

“Shut up Wonwoo.”

Jeonghan reached his hand over to you. “Lemme talk to him.” You obliged, handing the phone to him.

“Hey Wonwoo, no nothing happened. Well, Y/N confessed their undying feelings for me and told me how incredibly attractive and sexy I am and how I’ve ruined anyone else’s love-“

“JEONGHAN!”

“Yep gotta go, bye Wonwoo!”

You snatched the phone from Jeonghan, only to see the call had already ended. “You snake! Stop badmouthing me to our friends!”

He gasped in mock offense. “Bad mouthing? Never! That’s basically what happened last night, anyway.”

“You’re missing the part where you confessed first.” You reminded him, pushing against his arm, but he resisted your force, instead wrapping his arms around you and holding you as you squirmed. “Let go of me you weasel.”

“Weasel? Are you gonna pay for the damages you’re causing my heart?” He pouted, and you wanted to badly to shove (kiss…) that pout off his face.

“More like ego.”

“Wonwoo has always known how incredibly whipped I am for you, he doesn’t need a reminder.” Jeonghan whispered above you. “Do you?”

You nodded slyly. “You’ve got a decade of reminders to make up for hiding this from me for so long. You better get cracking.”

Jeonghan leaned over to kiss your forehead. “Why rush it? We’ve got the rest of our lives, and I’m going to make sure you never forget just how much I love you.”

AN: i think this is the first time i’ve ever written a happy ending but goddamn i love this fic

+ read the university kiss scene here!!

#caratwritersclub #seventeen fic #jeonghan fic #fake dating au #seventeen fake dating #svt fluff #svt scenario #jeonghan scenario #svt angst #seventeen angst #jeonghan angst #seventeen friends to lovers #yoon jeonghan #joshua #joshua x reader #jeonghan x reader #jeonghan x you

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hiraeth-ink · 7 months

Text

Could I Be Yours (a Joel Miller fic) Part 3

Pairing - Joel x Married Female Reader

Series Summary - You’ve been married for two years now to your long term man Marcus, but with your dwindling sex life and your marriage on the rocks, you came to an agreement. You're allowed to sleep with other men. The only rules? 1- You have to tell your husband about it. 2- No staying the night, you always leave after sex. And lastly, rule number 3, you can’t sleep with the same man more than once. These rules are in place to avoid feelings blooming, but what happens when you meet Joel, and end up breaking all of the rules? Will it break your marriage too? If faced with a choice between Joel Miller and your husband, who would you choose?

Read part 1 and part 2

Chapter summary - With your feelings for Joel making themselves known you try and make a decision regarding your marriage.

Warnings - infidelity, smut, protected + unprotected piv, oral sex (fem receiving), tiny bit of angst, Joel being a menace, Joel being vulnerable, angry Marcus.

Word Count - 7k+

a/n - Tysm for the continued love and support for this series! So so grateful

Your phone pings with a text notification exactly twenty four hours after you left Joel’s house, exactly twenty four hours after you ran away. You didn’t read it straight away, you couldn’t face what you imagined to be a rejection. So, you turned your phone over so the screen was out of view and busied yourself with a deep clean of the house, you changed bed sheets, cleaned the bathroom and the kitchen, hoovered and mopped the floors but you still saw his face when you blinked, his dark eyes engraved into your eyelids. You showered, washed your hair and aggressively cleaned your body, but you still felt Joel’s trail of lingering kisses burning your skin. Unable to uselessly distract yourself any longer, you picked up your phone and opened the text message from Joel.

Everything ok, sweetheart? You kinda rushed off on me. Call me :)

Reading the text, you struggled to gather your thoughts and make sense of your feelings. It wasn’t a rejection, a hey i don't think we should see eachother anymore text, but it didn’t give you any answers either. He seemed so nonchalant, so blase, as if you hadn’t opened up to him about your feelings at all, as if he hadn't completely and utterly confused you.

Unsure of what to respond, you decide against responding all together, for now, at least. You didn’t feel as though you could call him, you couldn’t even decide on words to send him in a text, there was no way your brain would be able to conjure up a response in real time over the phone. So, you put your phone down again and got through the rest of your weekend, trying not to think about him.

Nothing had changed between you and Marcus, not that you expected it to, you lived like roommates, as if you shared this house and nothing more. He came home late on Saturday night and was out of the house before you woke up on Sunday morning, not even giving you a chance to ask where he was going, although you weren’t sure you would, given the chance.

Monday came and went, with little to no interaction with Marcus, piles of work that you had to get done and a missed call from Joel. You didn’t see the call until an hour later and were too swamped to call back, so you left it. That night after work, you contemplated calling him back, Marcus wasn’t home so you didn't have to worry about him hearing, but you were at a loss for words. You had no idea what to say to Joel, but worse than your lack of words were your nerves. You were nervous as to what his words would be, so you didn’t call.

The next day at work was quieter, you didn’t have to eat your lunch at your desk while you worked so you went for a walk on your lunch break, sitting in the park not far from the office with your lunch. As you sat down, you felt your phone vibrating and, fishing it out of your back pocket, read Joel’s name in bold font across your phone screen. Staring at the writing for a few seconds and taking a deep breath, you answered the phone, unable to avoid him any longer. You held the phone up to your ear and watched a bird fly out of a hole in a tree, internally wondering if it was fleeing the nest, like you wanted to and spoke a quiet, “Hi.”

“Hey, sweetheart,” his gruff voice sent shivers down your back, “what's goin’ on, are you ok?”

“I’m ok,” you sigh, mentally kicking yourself for your inability to just let it out, and pause before continuing, “are you?”

“Yeah, I’m just at work,” there was a brief pause, a beat of silence where you both held your phones to your ears, thinking of the right words to say. “Listen, when we were talking that night, I panicked… I kinda froze, I guess.” His voice was apologetic, his normally confident speech was broken into parts by breaks and pauses, stutters and stammers, as if he had thought of what to say beforehand but had more words on his mind. “I shoulda’ said more, I just got nervous,” you heard him take a sip of a drink before continuing, “it’s been years since I’ve felt anything for anyone and…. It's a little weird feelin’ this way for a married woman,” he released a small chuckle at his words, “but I’d be an idiot not to see what happens.”

“I…. Joel I don’t really know what to say,” you answered truthfully, you wished that words would come to your mind, any words other than the ones you spoke, but none did. You were so taken aback by his speech that nothing was coming out of your mouth. Luckily, Joel filled the silence.

“Sarah’s stayin’ at a friends again on Friday. Do ya’ wanna come over?” He asked before quickly adding, “I’ll cook.” As if you needed any more convincing.

“I’d love to,” you said, your smile steadily widening as you spoke.

“And bring some clothes to sleep in this time,” he added, and although his voice was as deep and gruff as ever, you swore you could hear his smile.

“I’d rather wear your clothes to sleep, honestly,” you retorted before saying your goodbyes, with Joel promising to check in with you in a couple days.

After the conversation, Joel was feeling better. His thoughts were still clouded by you, but they were no longer negative. He no longer worried he’d ruined everything by shutting down that night, but his worries were persistent when it came to his feelings. It had been so long since he had felt anything other than lust for a woman, so long since he had wanted to cater to a woman, so long since the word relationship had crossed his mind. This was terrifying for Joel already, but factoring in the fact that you were married to another man made it so much worse. He knew you were unhappy with your husband but he didn't know your plans, he didn't know what you saw for yourself in the future. He didn’t know if you would leave your husband or stay married to him. Worst of all, he didn’t know if you thought about him, the way he thought about you. Joel could no longer ignore the rush he experienced when you were around. The dam inside him had broken and although vulnerability did not come easily to him, he was willing to be vulnerable for you, willing to be open for you. He was ready to expose his heart to you, rip it out of his chest and hold it up to you to show the speed at which it beat when you were around him. He needed to know that you felt the same. That you had to remind yourself to breathe when you saw him, just like he had to do when you looked his way. He needed to know if your heartbeat quickened when you saw him, if it synced with his when you caught eyes.

Joel had never known a woman like you, a woman so strong, intelligent, funny and witty. Joel had never had sex as good as he did with you and Joel had never felt such a wordless connection. He felt the connection immediately, when he looked around the bar that night and found you already looking at him, he felt compelled to approach you. He felt confident under your gaze, just like he felt dizzy underneath your touch, enchanted beneath your spell.

Joel cringed when his mind circled back to the conversation that was had in his bed, his nervous, thoughtless reaction that caused you to leave so quickly the next morning. Watching you leave like that, almost sprinting out of the house, had him reeling, searching his memories for something that would have caused it. He didn't have to backtrack for long, his short answer and haste kiss on the cheek was now engraved into his brain, his own voice taunting him whenever his mind was quiet. It had been so long since he felt this way that his first reaction was to sabotage himself, but he didn't want to do that anymore, he didn’t want to stand in his own way when he could have you.

After a good day at work on Thursday, you ran into a slight problem after arriving home. You had been relying on Marcus going to his weekly guys night on Friday, so you wouldn’t have to lie about your whereabouts. So, your surprise was evident when he’d asked, almost immediately after you’d walked through the door, “How about we have a night in tomorrow? Just the two of us.”

“I thought you were going to your guys night again?” The first half of your answer was genuine, at least, “I made plans with Carrie for tomorrow,” you lied through your teeth, “think we’re gonna’ have a pamper, self care sort of night. I’m sorry.” Although you really didn’t feel sorry at all. Was he really trying now? Trying to spend more time with you, trying to pay more attention to you again? As soon as you stopped showing signs of sadness at his lack of attention, love and time spent on you, he tried to suck you back in, but when you were upset and trying your hardest to make the marriage work, he was nowhere to be found.

“Guess I’ll go see the guys, then,” he huffed loudly, like a child unable to get their own way, and headed for the stairs. Halfway through the living room, he turned around, pointed towards the bouquet that Joel bought for you, and asked, “By the way, who got you those flowers?”. And fuck, you had completely forgotton that you decided to deal with the flowers later, not realising then that later would be almost a week later, with Marcus shooting daggers at you from across the room.

“Oh… I got them,” you began your lie, “for myself. Saw the florist after work on Friday and, I haven’t had flowers in the house in a while so,” you felt yourself starting to ramble so you cut yourself off with a shrug, your heart beating in your ears as you watched him walk away once again.

That night, when you went to bed, the door to the guest bedroom was closed, and you could see a sliver of light underneath the door. Walking into your bedroom, the bed was empty and completely untouched, confirming your suspicions that Marcus had decided to sleep in the spare bedroom. Months ago, this distance would have clutched tightly at your heart like a fist, your eyes would have welled with tears and you would feel only despair for the end of your marriage. But looking at the empty bed, there were no tears, only a dull ache at the thought of the last 12 years spent with Marcus. A dull ache that solidified that you no longer loved him, a dull ache that announced to you that maybe you were ready to leave him. A dull ache that symbolised your decision finally being made.

Going to sleep that night, you decided that you would talk to Marcus about a divorce as soon as you could, that you would look for your own home to move into, one that wasn’t already filled with your own memories, one that hadn't housed you in your unhappiness for so long. For the first time, you slept soundly that night, and awoke excited at the prospect of being alone, of building and focusing on your own life, rather than building your life around someone else’s.

In a shockingly good mood all throughout Friday, you weren’t surprised that you hadn’t seen Marcus all day, but you figured you would be able to talk to him about going your separate ways later on in the weekend, and instead, focused your efforts and excitement on getting ready to go to Joel’s. Opting for a comfortable outfit of denim shorts and a strappy tank top, you headed to Joel’s, nervous excitement brimming inside you. Parking in his driveway and knocking on his door had your heart almost slamming out of your chest, you thought of the last time you had been here, the way you had wanted to leave as quickly as possible. Faced with the prospect of seeing him again, being in his space, you couldn’t wait to walk through the door.

“Well don’t you look cute,” he smiled as he opened the door, moving to the side, gesturing for you to walk past him and inside the house. Taking a second to take him in, you noticed that his hair was wet, slicked back tidily at the front, but his curls were slowly forming at the back of his head, where his hair was drying quicker. He looked so handsome like this, you loved his hair when it was curly and unruly, but like this, you could see his whole face, completely unobstructed and fuck, he was beautiful.

“You look so handsome,” you said, still taking in his appearance, “did you just get out of the shower?” He wore grey sweatpants and a black, short sleeved t-shirt that was once again, impossibly tight around his shoulders and biceps. His big, broad frame would make any shirt look tight on him, as if it were fighting not to break, not to unravel under the pressure.

“Yeah, I did,” he answered while leading you into the living room, where the tv was playing something you couldn’t quite make out, “shame you missed it.” You were worried that you wouldn’t be able to escape the air of awkwardness, worried that the ending of your last meeting would dull the start of this one, but hearing his words and seeing his smirk reassured you that there would be no such thing.

“There’s always time for that,” you laughed as you sat on the sofa beside him and he quickly placed his arm on the back of the couch, allowing you to sink into him. “I was promised food,” you gave him a pointed look as you spoke, “what are you cooking?”

“About that,” he looked at you sheepishly and paused, a small smile on his face, “the more I thought about what to cook, the more nervous I got so I thought we could just order somethin’.” Your grin widened at his abashed expression, finding his words absolutely adorable, and leaned into kiss him, mumbling against his mouth that you had been craving pizza anyway. Joel hummed in approval against your mouth, leaned into the kiss before pulling away to get up and ordering the pizza. He rolled his eyes when you asked for a hawaiian, but relayed the order over the phone with no complaints.

“Said it’d be around 45 minutes, s’ a busy night,” he held your chin gently with his thumb and forefinger, turned your head to face him and softly slotted his lips with yours. His plump lips moved with yours in an easy, almost lazy rhythm as he opened your legs and moved to settle between them, allowing you to feel his already hard length. You wrapped your legs around his hips, pulling him deeper into your embrace as he licked deeper into your mouth, you were so close, but you wanted more, you wanted him as close as possible.

“Joel,” you gasped as he started grinding his length into you, the denim of your shorts adding to the friction. His lips moved down to your neck, trailing kisses down your neck to your chest, pulling you top down to expose your breasts before landing his lips on your nipple, lapping his tongue around it and sucking it into his mouth as your breathing picked up, small gasps and whimpers being released from your mouth. “Joel please,” you looked down at him as he moved on to your other breast and repeated the actions, “touch me,” you begged.

“I am touching you, sweetheart,” you whined at his cocky response and moved your hips, grinding upwards to add friction where you needed it most. Joel looked at where you were desperately moving your hips and let out a chuckle, a chuckle that made you feel small and almost pathetic, but also made you all the more wet and needy for him. His hand trailed down your body, from your breast to the top of your denim shorts, dipping beneath the hem and circling your skin with a featherlight touch. “You want me down here, baby?” He asked as he undid the button of your shorts and started pushing them down, you instinctively lifted your hips so he could pull your shorts down completely, leaving you in your underwear, with your hard nipples exposed to Joel’s hungry gaze. Lifting your legs so that your thighs rested against your front, Joel directed your hands to the backs of your thighs and instructed, “Hold em’ right here f’me, baby,” before kneeling on the floor, positioning himself so that his face was level with your clothed pussy. Joel growled as he looked at the wet spot rapidly growing on your underwear, and you watched him with wide eyes as he ran his nose down your seam, from your clit to your hole and back up again and, to your complete surprise, unabashedly inhaling your scent. Your hands moved from holding your legs to holding your face, covering it in embarrassment, but Joel would let you do no such thing. He grabbed your elbows from his position below you and pulled them down. He moved your underwear to the side, licked a stripe up your pussy.

“Don’t be embarrassed,” he said before harshly sucking your clit into his mouth and stopping to speak again, “I love everything about this pussy, baby. The taste, the smell,” he said in a low growl, before beginning his attack on your centre. He alternated between licking and slurping passionately at your clit, wrapping his lips around it and sucking it into his mouth, and pushing his tongue inside you. You couldn’t keep your moans to yourself, your body was reacting to his touches loudly and openly, your moans loud and high pitched, while your legs shook every time Joel’s mouth wrapped around your clit.

“Joel,” you gasped, your voice shaky as your eyes fluttered shut, unable to keep them open as Joel continued his merciless attack. Your breath hitched and your eyes shot open when you felt a finger prodding at your entrance, before thrusting in and out of you at a fast pace. “Joel, please,” you said, louder this time, “I wanna come, Joel, please,” you continued in an unstable voice as you looked down at him. Joel didn’t answer with words, but with growls and groans of his own as he tasted you. His fingers curled at that spot guaranteed to make you scream, and his hand moved to your lower stomach, sprawled out adding pressure. You were hurtling towards your release, and recognised a feeling only Joel had pulled out of you before. “Joel stop I’m gonna make a mess,” you spoke quickly, the words coming out jumbled together as your breath quickened drastically.

“I want you to make a mess of my face, baby,” Joel said quickly before reattaching his mouth to you, pushing you further towards release, before speaking again, “give me what I want.”

His words made you give in immediately, no longer caring about making a mess, you gave in to Joel’s movements, your whines becoming more and more high pitched as he continued his movements. You couldn’t speak, only let out incoherent whines and pleas, before your mouth opened in a silent scream, the only sound leaving you was that of your breath hitching and the squelch of the wetness between your legs as it gushed out of you. Joel muttered, “good girl,” as you came down, your breath violently being pushed out of you as you watched him rise from his knees, the bottom half of his face soaked with your juices, as was his forearm. You bit your lip at the evidence of your orgasm that covered him, leaving a shine on his skin.

“I need you inside,” you whispered as he hovered above you, overcome with desire to be full of him. He quickly put on a condom and returned to his position.

“You’re so beautiful,” he muttered as he kissed your temple and leaned back to line himself up with your entrance. “Love watching you come for me,” he said as he pushed the tip inside, the last word of the sentence trailing off into a low groan as he felt your warmth enveloping him.

He pushed inside slowly, allowing you to adjust to his size, before wrapping his arms around your thighs and lifting them up, your feet in the air next to his head, leaving only your shoulders and upper back on the sofa. When he was happy with the position, he started thrusting all the way in and out of you quickly as he held you still by your legs, until the sound of your skin slapping could be heard throughout the room. A moan was forced out of your mouth with each thrust, your throat opening up to release a breath each time Joel filled you to the brim, he fucked you hard and fast while he let out grunts and groans of his own, inbetween strings of praise.

“This pussy feels so fuckin’ good,” he exhaled, and while his voice showed signs of fatigue, his body showed no signs of slowing down as he placed your back flat on the sofa and pushed your legs down so that your thighs rested against your stomach once again. This time, he didn’t instruct you to hold them, but held them down himself as he fucked you. The change in angle allowed him to push inside and reach deeper than before, knocking the wind out of you as he brushed the spot only he could reach. He watched as your eyes rolled back and fluttered closed, your mouth opening to let out loud whimpers and whines at how deep you felt him, and he whispered, “that’s it, baby,” before slowing down slightly, allowing you to feel every inch of him grinding into you. “This pussy takes me so fuckin’ good, you’re such a good girl.”

“So deep,” you replied breathlessly, his praise making your head spin. Joel’s hand suddenly settles at your neck, only applying slight pressure, pressure that, mixed with the fullness his cock gave, made you gasp in pleasure.

“I know it’s deep but you can take it, right?” he asked and you nodded your head erratically, as best as you could with his hand around your neck. “That’s right, my good girl takes it all.” You involuntarily clenched around him at his words, his smirk returning to his lips as he felt the effect that he had on you. “Touch your pretty little clit f’me,” he ordered, his voice breathy but still dominant, “make yourself come on my cock.”

You moved your hand down towards your centre and felt where your bodies met, where he was stretching you out like no one had done before, and surely like no one ever would again. Moving your fingers upwards towards your clit, you moved your fingers in tight, steady circles in an effort to make yourself come, wanting to do everything he asked of you, if it meant hearing even a morsel more of his praise. Your moans grew louder as you grew closer with each grind of Joel’s hips and each flick of your fingers. Between whines and gasps you tried to speak, “Joel, fuck, I’m gonna’,” but the words came out jumbled and broken, “Oh my God, you’re gonna make me,” you broke off in a high pitched moan, the noise accompanied by the squelching sound of your wetness gushing out of you as Joel kept thrusting hard, and he didn’t stop until he emptied into the condom with a low grunt and an extended fuuuuck.

Catching your breath, you watched as Joel ran to grab a cloth, still completely naked, and returned to gently clean you up. He put his boxers and sweats back on, but threw his shirt towards you, grumbling about how that would be comfier than, “those tight ass shorts,” before going to the kitchen. While he was gone, you got up to put your underwear back on and slipped his shirt over your head, feeling comfy and safe, enveloped in his clothes that still held his scent. Joel came back with a glass of water in his hand, “Just realised I didn’t even offer you a drink when you came in,” he placed the glass in your hand before sitting next to you and pulling you close.

“Your southern hospitality’s awful,” you giggled, “fucking me without even asking if I was thirsty?”

Joel opened his mouth to answer but was soon stopped by the doorbell ringing. “‘S probably the pizza,” he mumbled as he got up and walked to the door, paying the man and grabbing the pizza boxes in his hands before turning around and kicking the door closed. He settled next to you on the sofa again, placing the pizzas on the table and opening them up.

The tv was on, but you were hardly paying attention to what was playing, some re-run of an old show with an obnoxiously loud laughing track, you preferred to listen to Joel tell you about his week. He told you about his brother's mistakes that angered him to no end and the shock of his daughter asking him if he was seeing anyone.

“She asked you that?” He nodded at your question as he took a huge chunk out of his slice of pizza, chewing obnoxiously.

“Yeah,” he said, “she’s a little suspicious, I think Tommy might’ve mentioned something.”

“You talk to Tommy about me or something?” You asked teasingly, sitting back on the sofa and huffing at how full you felt.

He threw his last crust onto the pizza box, chewing his last bite before answering, “Had to explain why I kept checkin’ my phone somehow.” He sent you a wink as he spoke, smiling at you as you yawned and quickly tried to cover your mouth with your hand.

“You tired?”

“No,” you said sheepishly.

“C’mon, let’s go to bed,” he held your hand and began tugging you up off the sofa.

“I don’t want to sleep yet,” you whined, not wanting the night to end so quickly.

“We can just relax in bed for a while, baby,” he tugged you towards the stairs, gesturing for you to walk up first. He gave your ass a couple light slaps as you walked up, earning giggles from you. You brushed your teeth side by side, stealing glances at each other in the mirror and Joel left for the bedroom while you used the toilet.

Crawling into bed beside Joel, you inched closer towards him and found comfort in his outstretched arms. You lay facing each other, one of his arms resting underneath your body, allowing you to be as close as you could. He held you with a gentle grip, his big hands were outstretched, one spread across your back underneath his shirt and the other rested on your bicep. His hands were momentarily still, allowing you to feel the warmth of his hands, the heat being transferred from Joel’s body to yours through his soft touch. He continued to look at you as he started moving his hands, his fingers gently moving along your skin, as though he was connecting constellations in the stars. Your eyes followed his fingers carefully, your eyes traced their every move, just as the tips of his fingers traced every curve of your body, every bump or scar on your skin. And under the trace of his fingers, under the gaze of his eyes you felt truly seen. Has anybody seen you the way he saw you then? His gaze was heavy, his stare intense, but you didn’t shy away from his eyes, you didn’t flinch from his featherlight touch, you returned his stare and you returned his caress. Your fingers started moving along the skin of his arms, along the lines in his face, as if off their own accord. You subjected him to the same heavy, all consuming gaze as you looked into his eyes. You subjected him to the same featherlight, earnest touch as you ran your hands down his back, his sides, his arms, his face, anywhere you could reach. Because in that moment you saw him and he saw you.

You moved your hand up to Joel’s now dishevelled hair and ran your hand through it but Joel was quick to stop your endeavour. He grasped your wrist in his hand and turned it around, so that your palm was facing you. You watched as he looked at your hand with a furrowed brow. You couldn’t understand why your hand had captivated him so intensely until his other hand came up to join yours in front of his face, and he traced your wedding band with his thumb.You opened your mouth to speak but no words left your throat, and Joel’s words lingered in the air instead.

“Take the ring off.” He was now looking at you rather than at your ring, his eyes bored into yours as a shocked expression overtook your features. “Please,” he added, almost desperately, his voice nothing more than a whimper. “Just for tonight, I wanna’ pretend you're not his, that you’re mine.”

His confession almost broke you. You had struggled while coming to grips with your feelings but hadn’t thought about how Joel must feel, seeing a married woman, sleeping with a married woman, knowing that she was going home to her husband eventually. You carefully slid your wedding ring off your finger and moved from the bed to place it in your bag. When you climbed back into bed, you placed your left hand, now lacking your wedding ring, onto his cheek and, looking into his eyes, told Joel what you wished was true, “I’m yours, Joel.”

Joel’s lips met yours in a tender kiss, and when they departed, Joel spoke into your mouth, “I’m yours too,” his words left his lips, travelled down your throat and into your body, and devastated you from the inside out, “I’ll still be yours when you go back to him.”

You couldn’t speak, no helpful words came to your mind as you looked into Joel’s eyes. They looked into yours with a sad longing, one that you were sure was reflected in your own eyes. Unable to conjure up the words, you put your lips to his and kissed him deeply, pushing all the words you couldn't say into his mouth, willing him to understand you through your touch. His palm came to rest at the back of your neck, softly keeping you in place as he kissed you back, his tongue licking into your mouth as his other hand went to your lower back and pulled you closer towards him until your front was flush with his. His mouth left yours and placed kisses down your neck while his hands went to the ends of the shirt you were wearing, pulling it up and over your head. You did the same to him, wanting to feel his skin on yours, with nothing between your bodies.

He went to position himself further down the bed, further down your body and slowly spread your legs, but the sudden feeling of emptiness that dominated you made your arms lower to his, and your hands pulled at him to bring his face to yours again. The emptiness could be felt throughout your body, and you knew it would only be satisfied by Joel filling you up. “I just want you inside,” you whispered when his face was level with yours again.

“At least let me open you up first,” he said with furrowed brows, not wanting to hurt you, but pain was the last thing on your mind at that moment. You just wanted him. You wanted to feel him everywhere.

“Please,” you asked, “I need it.” He said nothing in response, only reached over your body to get into the bedside drawer, pulling out a condom. Your disappointment was evident in your face, and you let out a quiet, “no,” that was barely above a whisper. He turned his head to look at you and raised an eyebrow.

“I want to feel you, Joel,” you said, your voice still quiet, “all of you.” Suddenly worried about his response, you added, “I’m clean, I got checked last time I was at the gynaecologist.” You took a deep breath before continuing. “I haven’t been with… him since then.” Your voice was timid and nervous, unsure how to explain that it had been weeks, months even, since you had slept with your husband. You were anxious to bring him up in such a conversation, unable to say his name, you knew he would know exactly who you were talking about.

He grimaced at your words, at the mention of your husband, but quickly hid his distaste, “I got tested after the last person I slept with, I’m clean too” his soft voice matched your quiet words as he placed the condom back in the drawer and pulled you close again. “Are you sure?” he asked, his eyes searching yours for any aversion, any discomfort, but only found a pleading want as you nodded your head and whispered a yes.

He positioned himself in between your legs and kissed you softly while running his fingers through your folds, gathering your wetness onto his hand, circling your clit teasingly once, and spreading your juices onto his cock. His lips didn’t leave yours as he positioned his tip at your entrance and pushed himself inside you, moving inch by inch, creating a delicious burn as he stretched you out and filled you to the brim.

“You feel so fuckin’ good, sweetheart,”

You wrapped your legs around him in an attempt to pull him closer, although it felt impossible. He stayed fully seated inside of you, completely enveloped by your warmth as you both let out gasps and groans at the feeling. When Joel started moving, it was a slow, steady grind. Barely a movement, but enough to cause a delicious friction for both of you. You let out high pitched gasps of his name and he released grunts of yours. Your back arched as his tip kissed that spot so deep inside of you and his arms moved smoothly under your body, wrapping around you and holding you tight. You wrapped your arms around his neck, your fingers running through his hair and pulling as he pushed heavy breaths out of your lungs.

In a messy, close tangling of limbs that was both greedy and unhurried, needy but not rushed, you felt him deep inside of you. You felt his whole length inside of you as he ground further into you, barely leaving the warmth of your cunt, only wanting to feel close to you, not wanting the separation that came with a full thrust.

“Joel,” you gasped, “Joel, please,” your mouth started to babble, the words involuntarily leaving you as he grunted in your ear, the sounds only heightening your wetness, your pussy clenching around his cock each time you heard him.

“What is it, sweetheart?” He asked with a hard grind of his hips, pushing impossibly deeper inside.

“I want you to fill me up, Joel,” you begged, your voice cracking with need.

“You’re already full o’me, baby,” he chuckled into your ear, taking your earlobe in between his teeth, licking and nibbling while continuing the rhythmic grind of his hips.

“No, Joel,” you were cut off by a loud moan leaving your throat as his hand slipped between your bodies to your clit, his fingers moving in tight, unfaltering circles to match the press of his hips. “I want you to come inside me.”

Joel groaned loudly as soon as the words reached his ears, gasping your name in equal parts shock and contentment. He pulled his head back to look into your eyes, his eyebrows raised in a wordless question.

“I have an IUD,” you said while pressing your hands into his lower back, wanting him, needing him deeper. His fingers moved quicker on your clit as he groaned at your admission, his hips faltering slightly.

“Such a fuckin’ good girl for me,” he grunted out, “lettin’ me stuff you full.” You moaned at his words and clamped down around his cock. The steady grind of his hips had now faltered and he was thrusting in and out of you slowly, but he was just as deep as before. This change in movement caused his tip to brush that spot over and over, in a quick procession. This, mixed with his words and grunts in your ear and his finger running firm circles on your clit made you come completely unannounced. It hit you like a wall and there was nothing you could say, you came with your mouth open in a silent scream, your walls clamped around his cock and fluttered gratefully. Your chest moved up and down with heavy breaths as Joel continued to fuck into you, pushing so deep inside and moaning your praise.

“That’s my good girl, fuck,” his grunts were becoming louder, deeper as he hurtled toward his orgasm, his hips stammering the closer he got. “Tell me you’re mine,” he said, his voice a mix between a plea and a command. “Fuckin tell me you’re mine,” he repeated, louder than before.

“I’m yours, Joel,” you said through moans, he was fucking you hard and deep, messy and hurried. “I’m yours,” you repeated once more before pleading, “come inside me, Joel.”

He let out a low growl at your words, and pushed himself deep, so that he was fully seated inside you, and let go, coming inside of you before pulling out to watch his spend trickle out of you, pushing it back in with his fingers before it could go far.

Exhausted, you lay down and closed your eyes, feeling the absence of his presence for a moment, until he returned to clean you up and got into bed beside you. You had read and read but never understood the feeling expressed in Jane Eyre of feeling so close to a lover, of being bone of his bone, and flesh of his flesh. You had certainly never felt that close to Marcus. But in that moment, lying there with Joel, with your wedding ring thrown to the side and forgotten, your skin connected to his, your legs tangled together, as if you had tied yourselves to one another in an effort to keep each other near, you felt it, you understood.

The last thing you remembered before falling completely asleep was Joel placing a soft kiss on your temple.

You woke to an empty bed the next morning, the sheets crumpled and still warm to the touch on Joel’s side. Getting out of bed, you put on Joel’s shirt again and brushed your teeth in the bathroom before walking towards the stairs. At the top of the stairs you were met with the sight of Joel walking up, with a cup of coffee in each hand.

“Go back to bed,” his soft command was met with a look of confusion from you. “My plan was to wake you up with coffee in bed,” he explained, “so go back to bed.” You giggled at his thoughtfulness and upon hearing Joel’s quiet, “please,” turned around and walked back to the bedroom, settling into bed once more. You listened to the patter of his footsteps up the stairs and towards the room and the sexy gruff of his voice wishing you a “Mornin’, darlin’,” as he walked in, as if he hadn’t already seen you that morning.

He placed a cup of coffee in your outstretched hands and sat in bed beside you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and kissing your forehead.

“Thank you, Joel,” you whispered, smiling up at him, leaning up and pressing your lips against his. Last night was still at the forefront of your mind and you were overcome with emotions you couldn’t quite explain.

“Listen,” Joel began, “I meant what I said last night,” his words came at exactly the right time.

“I want you,” he explained, “and not just like this, I want all of you. But I need to know what your plans are, I need to know I’m not getting invested for nothing.” He took a deep breath before continuing, “You might be mine for now but when you go home to him, I still belong to you. So I just, I need to know.”

“I’m not staying with him Joel. It’s just, it's a big thing, a long process.” You wished you could give him more reassurance, but you weren’t sure what you could say that would put his mind at ease. You looked into his eyes and said, “I want you, not him.”

Joel’s hand came up to your cheek, lightly stroking the skin next to your ear with his thumb, “I don't want to put pressure on you, I just need to know that this is going somewhere.”

“It is,” you promised, “I’ll talk to him.” You pressed a kiss to his lips, as if you were sealing a promise, and felt nothing but happiness and safety.

The rest of the morning passed in pure domestic bliss, Joel cooked breakfast and you both drank another coffee while you talked over the show that was on tv. When it was time for you to leave, you reluctantly got dressed and gathered your things and climbed into the car, rolling the window down. Joel stood next to the window and leaned in to kiss you goodbye. Unable to leave yet, the goodbye kiss turned into an I don’t want to go kiss, full of uncertainty and words you wanted to say but couldn’t quite articulate. Pulling away you settled on a meek, “bye,” while Joel promised to call you soon. Joel watched and waved as you reversed out of his driveway and drove away, both of your minds full of possibilities for the future.

Your drive home was uneventful. You felt positive and excited, you were finally clear on your plans. You knew that you had to speak to Marcus about your marriage, suggest a separation and request a divorce and although you knew this would be difficult, your happiness was worth it, with or without Joel in the picture. You expected to arrive back to an empty house, like you normally did. What you didn’t expect to see was Marcus sitting at the dining table, facing the door, as if he was waiting for your return.

With shock evident in your voice, you let out a weak, “Hi,” but upon noticing the expression on his face you added, “are you ok, Marcus?” He looked disappointed, his hand held the bottom of his face and his brows were furrowed together.

“Where were you last night?” His question threw you off, and you scrambled to answer.

“I was at Carrie-”

“I know you weren’t at Carrie’s so I’ll ask one more time,” his voice was raised and firm, “where were you last night?” He spoke slowly, the anger he felt slowing down his speech. You knew then that the expression on his face wasn’t disappointment, it was anger, fury. You felt frozen on the spot, your mouth sewed shut with shock, you didn’t move or speak, only looked down at your feet, nervously bringing your hands together and fiddling with your thumbs.

Your heart jumped at the next words from Marcus, his booming voice only adding to the thumping acceleration of your heart.

“Why aren’t you wearing your ring?”

Thank you so much for reading!! Comments and reblogs are always appreciated :) Part 4 soon

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