#amatonormativity is such a fucking bitch

[slippery-minghus]

hmm. i've identified for a very long time as being not fully aromantic, because i've had a few experiences of attraction here and there. the whole technical terms i'd used are pan+gray+demiromantic. basically, once in a blue moon, after lots of emotional attachment, there's a slight chance, ender notwithstanding, that i may fall in love.

and maybe, if i remember the way i felt for that girl in college correctly, maybe i did feel real genuine romantic attraction to her. it's really hard to say. and the boy i dated - in high school and again recently - i vividly remember being 18 and trying to convince myself that what i felt for him must be romantic attraction. it felt different than regular friendship, and i longed for that feeling enough to get back together with him but... i'm wondering if that really was romantic attraction.

which, ultimately, i don't think it really matters. because after that relationship i just ended, i know i don't want to get close to someone like that again. it's funny, the past several years were always "if the next person isn't the one, i'm done dating forever (bad end)" but now it's like... i don't have to date? i can actually be alone forever like i've always wanted to but had convinced myself it would hurt me?

so. i think it's fair to say i'm aromantic. i've always felt like i had to say "aromantic, but..." — not anymore. i am aromantic. because it makes me happy. no if's and's or but's.

#it feels like such a breath of freedom that i have finally accepted that being alone isn't going to hurt me #amatonormativity is such a fucking bitch #combined with being gaslit to hell and back growing up that everything i want is going to hurt me #for once it's like... no. i want this. and i have PROOF that it will make me happy #ace stuff #narrating my life

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

hunter tf you mean “grimwalkers can’t feel love?????” hello????? wanna say that again to camila? to gus??? to luz?????

#this is about the huntlow art by that one storyboarder #hunter babygirl camila dove into freezing water to save your ass #gus saw you lurking around his school being a sussy baka and gave you his sandwich #luz got herself captured by kikimora and taken to belos for you????????? hello?????? #you tried to drown yourself to keep belos from hurting your friends????????? is this not love??????? #anyway that art is bad and wrong and amatonormativity is a bitch #and dont @ me saying 'oh but they meant specifically romantic love' thats the fucking problem #theyre gonna dedicate their time to a bland ship between two interesting characters #whose relationships with literally every other main character are infinitely more interesting than their relationship with each other #whose arcs outside of shoehorned storyboards literally do not relate to a romantic arc at all #but bc theyre 'dating' this relationship is immediately more important than hunters entire found family #or willows seasons long developing relationship with amity and her strong bond with gus #toh #the owl house #shut up pandora #hunter toh #hunter noceda #camila noceda #gus porter #luz noceda #lowhunt

[thatineffablewitch]

Relating aros to love is like conceptualizing women against men

So we agree that women exist outside of men, right? Saying women can do what men do is still problematic because it assumes we want to be like men, that masculinity is the bar everyone must be striving to achieve. That, as Adrienne Rich points out in her iconic piece on compulsive heterosexuality, a great deal of feminist scholarship still assumes women are innately drawn to men and refuses to examine the institution of heterosexuality. Women and femininity exist in their own right, and don’t always need to be compared against men. Men are not the universal measuring pole that gives something worth.

We’re agreed on that? Yes? Good.

So explain to me why we do the exact same thing with love.

Now, everything I say may not be 100% accurate because I just accepted myself as aro. I’ve learned a lot about myself and this community in the past few months, so if I mis-explain something, please understand it is ignorance rather than purposeful malice/exclusion and kindly correct me (we do basic human respect on this blog).

A (if not, the) main LGBTQIA+ slogan we hear is “love is love.” People justify and sanitize queerness by centering love in the conversation, usually romantic love. This itself probably plays a big role in aromantic erasure when it comes to a majority of queer spaces. People understand love, think of it as this unifying and positive force that brings people together, and assume this feeling is universal and good.

Aromanticism means we innately have a different relationship with the word, “love.” Whether we still experience other forms of love (platonic, familial, love for pizza, etc.) or are loveless, we know the importance of other feelings. A queer experience of romantic attraction naturally shapes our experience with the general idea of love, and what it means to truly experience that. We know there are an abundance of other experiences in this world worth having, and that love isn’t necessarily the only way to care about other people. Love isn’t the only thing to give life meaning, or to make someone whole. Queerness in queer theory means to question to status quo. If love is baked into our amatonormative society, what does “love is love” do to queer this widespread societal ideal? Nothing.

We use love like a weapon, a measuring stick for something or someone’s worth. So to be loveless, if love is what society uses to assign worth and validity, is to be worthless or inhuman. Hence any media representation we manage to scrounge up (or at least be coded as) are either villains, not human, or both. Instead of accepting aromantic existence, instead of being intrigued by lovelessness and allowing curiosity to lead to liberation, society insists on erasing and invalidating aromantics instead.

Well, just as women exist independently outside of men, we can exist outside of love. Love does not measure our worth just as men do not measure a woman’s worth. We can treat people kindly and care about things and be complete, whole human beings without love. This seems to me like a radical flavor of queerness that society as a whole (and some other queers!) aren’t eager to contemplate or try to understand. But whether they understand or not, we are valid and cool as fuck anyways.

Wishing every brave and gorgeous aro a wonderful aromantic awareness week!

#This might make zero sense but maybe other aros will understand what I’m saying #And part of me was nervous to post this cuz I dread the idea of aphobes coming at me #But I sure as fuck don’t want to let fear rule my life either so here we are #Hoping for the best #If you don’t understand that’s ok #I’ve been acquainted with aromanticism since I was like 15 and it’s taken me six years to even begin understanding it and myself #Amatonormativity is a bitch #They really cook this shit into us so I know it’s hard to try understanding this stuff #I admire anyone brave enough to question love #This community is seriously so gorgeous and wise #Happy aro week incredible people #And if you’re angry that you don’t understand #Don’t take it out on me #Go book a rage room or something if you’re mad about it—find healthier coping mechanisms than yelling @ strangers online #Aro #Aromantic #Aro pride #aromantic pride #loveless aro #aro awareness week #aromantic awareness week #adrienne rich #queer theory #amatonormativity #My post

[cockyroaches]

Happy Wednesday to everyone who hates valentine's day whether out of contempt for amatonormativity or plain Distaste for the holiday.

For some reason this is the one date you'll be chastised and made fun of if you don't like or celebrate - bullshit. Be a little hater.

Ppl disliking a holiday doesn't mean you don't get to enjoy it you toddler.

#bitch mantis #valentine's day #like i Like valentine's day but amatonormativity is a fucking plague

[no-romance-for-me-please]

Bit of a vent:

Tw: amatonormativity

Just right now I had a bit of a frustrating conversation with some adults and I am feeling slightly emotional :l

Some of my mom’s friends came over to have a party and they were talking about someone’s daughter starting to really like cooking, and they joked that she was cooking for her boyfriend (she doesn’t have one) and I was listening next to them, so I said

“I don’t understand, why do people have to cook for someone else,”

And one guy replied with

“It’s because you don’t have a boyfriend yet,” (I am very closeted irl, so I identify as a cis straight girl to him)

And I was ever so slightly triggered by that, so I continued to argue with the guy, which was a big ass mistake, because now I feel a bit like shit,

But anyways I responded with

“Why do I have to have a boyfriend anyways? What if I never get a partner in the future?”

And my mom who was also listening piped up, said something along the lines of

“When I was 19 I also thought like that, but I met your dad and I changed my mind,” some shit like that,

And the other guy chimed in

“You’ll want to get a boyfriend when you’re older, just you wait”

And now I feel a bit mad. :(

Of course, there is no way I feel angry just because of some stupid chat, but it really is a problem that I normally have this conversation with some adults. The main two things are

Adults (mostly parents) not taking the things teens an kids say seriously, and

Amatonormativity

OH MY GOD FUCK AMATONORMATIVITY

If someone says they ain’t going to fucking date anyone, let them BEEEEE

I’ve overheard conversations where people insult other people for being single or have never dated anyone in their lives before

I’ve had conversations with my mother about me not wanting to have a partner in the future, and her just brushing it off, saying either, “You’ll change your mind one day”, Or “You are just young, your hormones haven’t kicked in”, Or , “Wait till you find someone you like”

I’ve listened to people say how there is ALWAYS that other-half, or special someone, or forever soulmate or WHATEVER THE FUCK, and I’ve had enough.

PLEASE.

STOP.

Some people just AREN’T GOING TO HAVE A PARTNER FOR LIFE.

ITS NORMAL.

LET ALL OF US BE ARO AT PEACE.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :(

Fuck amatonormativity.

#vent #personal vent #aro #aromanitc #amatonormativity #fuck amatonormativity #bitches I will not date anyone #because it is disgusting #and I can #and IT IS NORMAL #ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #i feel like shit #UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH #fuck.

[kriegborderlands-moved]

im not saying that i have it worse for fucks sake im saying im tired of lovey dovey shit being shoved in my fucking face when i am physically incapable of loving and treated like im evil because of it. literally what the fuck don’t you understand about that

#talking tag #im not saying the post in and of itself is aphobic bc its not. #but the people saying amatonormativity doesn’t exist are just plain wrong #and allos reblogging it and bitching kinda makes me 🤨 bc thats not your experience to bitch about #just leave us the fuck alone goddamn

[distortingbones]

frustrated that so many posts about deep tender love are explicitly romantic bc i want to send them to my dear platonic friends and go "look it's us" but i can't. at least not without either accidentally hitting on them OR pulling a no homo (neither of which is the vibe)

#amatonormativity is a bitch #idk if i'm arospec but i love my best friends sooo fucking much #they mean as much to me as a romantic partner ever could

[dawningfairytale]

there are two wolves within me. one wants to write original media with canon queer relationships (particularly sapphic ones For Some Reason). the other wants to write original media with absolutely no romance subplots and it’s not addressed.

they don’t even have to both be queer that doesn’t matter what matters is the avoidance of heteronormativity and amatonormativity

#both would have ace aro and/or aroace characters #bc the amatonormativity in media is sickening #and i think that sure the heteronormativity was a bitch but doesn’t mean that a bunch of romances of all types would be better #and i know shipping is fun. i love shipping!!! #but when i was a kid i thought id have dated someone by the end of high school #i havent though. and that’s fine!!! normal even!!! #but i assumed that would be An Issue when really i wasn’t ready for romance #and ofc people get into relationships when they aren’t ready all the time #but it’d be nice to see characters. not doing that. #who are satisfied with friendship or family or their careers #(also the ‘career woman who can have it all’ FUCK that they can have it all without a family) #but there aren’t a lot of queer characters i can relate to #basically all of them came out this year (nick heartstopper and ashlyn hsmtmts) #and for fucking get about queer christian characters #i just want one thing without a romance subplot #i also want one thing with a sapphic christian character #preferably light hearted and hopeful regardless of whether or not that’s my experience #this could play in to the bitchless bi character #but yeah idk #allo people aren’t always in relationships. aro people shouldn’t be erased in media. #looking at you riverdale #both can be happy single #and this should be portrayed

[aromantic-diaries]

I think my favorite part about being genderless and aroace is that I can really see how much "gender roles" and amatonormativity fucking give head to each other.(tho i guess that awareness can also be attributed to being neurodivergent?)

but yeah,and it really blows my mind how a lot of the same people who are all like "bring back trad gender roles!!!1!!!" are also the ones complaining bout all the het divorces. Like bitch if we stopped pressuring people to marry just because their friends,family and a large part of society makes them feel like they have to maybe so many couples wouldn’t have to divorce (cuz they didn’t exist in the first place).

(lot of what I said above can also apply to some queer peeps, I assumed I was gay for a while cuz I didn’t feel any form of attraction to a certain gender. Whereas I felt strong platonic feels to my friends who were a dif gender. I just assumed they were romantic cuz that’s what so many queer people around me we saying. "nothing straight bout lovin your besties!!! you’re gay babes!!!!" stuff like that)

I definetly think they're tied together. The main issue I've noticed is that men and women are seen as total opposites of eachother who can't possibly want anything but sex from one another and the only close emotional bond they can have is romance. It goes as far back as childhood, you know how when a boy and a girl so much as play in the sandbox together the adults will start talking about them getting married, even though the damn kids just wanna play. People are just people at the end of the day and most of the hetero brainworms spawn from the belief that men and women are completely different and have nothing in common

And as much as I hate to criticise the queer community since I have to walk on eggshells lest I say something that comes off as homophobic but literally everyone is guilty of doing the whole "they can't possibly just be friends there has to be more" thing. Even me, and I'm aromantic. Even if the people in question are of the same sex, it's still fucking weird for people to immediately jump to the conclusion that anything that crosses the line of what they accept as platonic love and affection HAS to be romantic. Of course this only applies when we're talking about real people, with fictional characters it's not a big deal

#anon #mail time

[knifearo]

beloved aro blog thank u for that response to the anon who didnt know how to tell if they were aro (it says asexual, but maybe that was a typo?). i generally use the aro label for myself because it fits 95% of the time but that 5% is when the doubt comes in and i feel like im "faking it." but that anon u answered has Cleared the Cobwebs of Doubt. youre Right. Amatonormativity is So Prevalent. the paragraph about wanting romance bc romance, or wanting romance bc society says u need a romantic relationship to get xyz thing from life Hit Me So Hard. i think i will come back to this post every time i feel Unsure about my label. so thank u for placing your words in that order for me. love loses. love wins. violence. have a great day homie

first of all. i'm ur beloved aro blog 🥺 nd yeah i do think it was a typo haha

second of all i'm so glad that it helped out for you :) the thing about amatonormativity is that you will constantly go "it can't be doing ALL of these things." but then it IS. EVERY TIME. you look up and amatonormativity is warping your ideas of self-worth and your plans for the future and your interactions with friends and family and holding society as a whole in a fucking vice grip and it's fucking. stealing your lunch money too. idk. that bitch. you know how it is. anyway that 5% is so real and you're so real for feeling it and it is NOT silly or cringe to take a few seconds in the bathroom mirror telling yourself "you ARE aromantic. and it's okay." if that's something that'll help. and also yada yada "aromanticism is not one uniform experience and arospec identities are valid and you can call yourself aromantic even if you experience romantic attraction sometimes as long as it feels like a label that's relevant to your experience" all the things that i'll say anytime someone is coming to me saying that they don't know if they're Really aro haha. just to get it out of the way. sounds like you've got stuff in a good place rn and i'm so glad that you're feeling that way :) hell yeah brother love loses!!!!! aromanticism forever and ever 🖤

#man who never stops talking about aromanticism when someone lets him talk about the logistics of using the aromantic label #GOD i need to write my little aro theory posts so bad. i need people to have a framework in place #so that i can talk about the way that amatonormativity has fucked up our societal concepts of morality cause like... #saying 'amatonormativity has a huge influence on whether you are seen as a morally good person' is WILD with nothing behind it. #but it's true. anyway. fuuuuuck dude. #love you anon kissing you hope you have such a good day. write in anytime #ask #aromantic #aromanticism #arospec #aro positivity #aroace

[the-delta-quadrant]

so i spent some time on the asexuality subreddit, and it was very full of people dividing aces into zedaces and aro(spec) aces (thanks "everyone has a romantic orientation" amatonormativity bs).

so i actually made the mistake of asking whether there are other quoiros/people without romantic orientations on there and yeah.

i immediately got someone ask if i mean that i'm zedromantic. and i'm like... so fucking tired of people in both aro and ace communities assuming that not having a romantic orientation means "zedromantic but won't say so", "secretly zedro", "zedro until proven otherwise". it's fucking amatonormative bs.

someone else tried forcing non-SAM terminology onto me (please stay the fuck away from me with anything "split attraction model". i'm varioriented.). which already doesn't make sense because even my subreddit flair indicates that i'm also omni, but i guess because it's not a sexual or romantic orientation it's not important enough to matter, even for shitty terminology like "split attraction model"? sexual/romantic > everything else = amatonormative bullshit.

but yeah, apparently the ace community reeks of amatonormativity so much that people can't even fathom me simply sharing my experience of quoiromanticism without immediately diagnosing me with other labels (because it's exactly what it feels like. people don't understand something (asexuality/quoiromanticism) and will immediately try to come up with other reasons you feel this way (you're just low on hormones/you're just zedromantic).

like, bitch. i was asking whether anyone has a similar experience to me. nowhere did i fucking say "PLEASE LABEL ME".

oh and of course they were weird about me using zed rather than allo too and framed it as a word that "internet people" came up with yesterday or something. newsflash, allo (to refer to non-aspec orientations) originates on the internet too and zed is literally as old as allo. but like, you're free to use a clinical term for non-aspec orientations, just stop being weird with me when i don't, knowing how oppressive the medical system still is towards people with queer orientations. i'm so sorry me using a different term offends you, jesus christ.

#queer #mogai #lgbt #lgbtq+ #gsrm #lgbt+ #asexual #ace #acespec #asexuality #actually asexual #actually ace #amatonormativity #asexual spectrum #ace things #ace stuff #quoiromantic #quoiro

[actual-changeling]

aro people say ONE thing about amatonormativity and everyone comes out of the bushes to expose their own bias and then be a bitch about it like i'm sorry you're not as woke as you thought don't make it my fucking problem

#alex yells at the void

[aroace-cat-lady]

You fucking had it all but NOOO you had to ruin everything being a whiny little bitch so full of amatonormative shit and allonormative crap you can't see beyond your goddamn nose.

#amatonormativity #aromantic pride #aromance #aromanticism #aromantic #aroace #aromantism #actually aro #actually aromantic #aromanitc #aromantic allosexual #aromantic asexual #aromantic spectrum #aro stuff #aro thoughts #aro things #asexual aromantic #allonormativity #asexual spectrum #asexuality #asexual #actually asexual #asexual community #asexual stuff #asexual struggles #asexual thoughts #asexual things #aspec #acespec

[blole-hack]

My magical guide to get yourself out of bitchlessness. For men, for women, for everybody no matter who you are and who you wanna date.

bitches be like "GET PEOPLE TO WANT TO DATE YOU DO BY DOING THIS, THIS, THAT, THIS, THIS"

me, tired aroace (angled) who has to actively avoid people from being attracted to him (because amatonormative society eyy): Look What They Need to Mimic a Fraction of My Power

So........u want my power? or at least what im talking about having because you don't believe me? fair tbh. dont believe everything you see

ok here's the shit:

HOW TO BECOME QUALIFIED FOR A GOOD RELATIONSHIP:

1 - Just be a good person, don't be an asshole and take care of yourself, be authentically compassionate and respectful to yourself and to others, that's literally it. you'll find somebody good somehow.

2 - Don't let your loneliness and date hunger and obsession with relationships get in the way of you living authentically.

Ok, people are gonna be like "but i can get a relationship without having to do that shit (the last part especially)"

Yea, but are you really living fully while doing that?

Getting in a relationship is the easy part. Exercising and getting a glow up's the easy part. Acting as someone other people would be attracted to is the easy part. Why? because it's actionable and it has steps that could easily become clear! It just takes a little bit of research and commitment. But its bull crap if it doesn't truly come from you. Not just bull crap to them but bull crap to you.

What's hard is if you don't know yet is actually getting a healthy one. What's harder is being yourself. What's harder is building yourself and knowing yourself.

Dating is just a fraction of your life guys. Two people's lives can't/probably shouldn't perfectly coincide especially since you've been living your separate lives at first

Living a nice healthy life in the first place before ending up with someone while you're dysfunctional and fully believing your worth and your quality of personhood is entirely dependent on whether or not you can get into relationships

And of course you can, logically get into a relationship

Intrinsically, mathematically, it's fucking possible dawg. dont give yourself any of that "its hopeless for me SPECIFICALLY because IM A BEING BENEATH OTHER HUMANS. actually, iM TRASH, NOT EVEN HUMAN"

because DAWG

1- you're a human being

2- humans are attracted to nearly every kind of human being

3- and even if theyre not attracted some people still wanna get into relationship

boom see??? you mathematically already fit the bill. stop overcomplicating shit. sometimes it really just turns out youre not someone's type, or maybe they didnt get to know you enough but who cares? baby, there's literally so many people in the world so no shit youre not someone's type. but that shouldn't stop you from being your type.

what should stop you from being your type is if you're a fucking asshole (and people are unfortunately still attracted to that but like see no matter what you're gonna get into a relationship if you truly desire to.)

In reality, a lot of people have no standards.

TAKEAWAYS

1- that should make u confident

2- but you should still be a high quality person (in your own definition!!)

SO EARLIER i was talking about how to be qualified for a high quality romantic relationship, and now I will tell you

How do you make something romantic happen between you and another person?

I DONT KNOW WHY PEOPLE THINK ITS SOME KIND OF MAGICAL THING, BUT LITERALLY THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE TO DO

IS TAKE A GENUINE INTEREST IN SOMEONE AND WHO THEY ARE WHILE ALSO SHOWCASING YOUR GOOD ATTRIBUTES, What makes YOUUU the cool u

make sure its balanced. both of you are important in this relationship and both of you should have space to be yourselves

AND THIS IS WHY it is so important to build yourself and learn about yourself like in what I just said above. You have to be interested in buying, and you also gotta know what you're selling/hj (this is just a metaphor dont take it as me thinking of relationships as business. BUT business is also a relationship in of itself)

And what you're selling HAS TO BE GOOD. Something that ISN'T what you would run away from, or throw away if it reaches near the people you care about. I know this is hard to think about if you really hate yourself.

Think of yourself as someone else and ask yourself "would i totes hang out with this guy? would this guy treat me right? would this guy bring value to my life? would this guy inspire me and make me see new shit and broaden my horizons which i might be missing from my life?" (and other things that are more of what you want)

AND IF YOU ARE NOT SOMEONE YOU ARE INTO, THEN ASK YOURSELF, WHAT ARE YOU INTO? Dont become WHAT YOU ARE INTO out of ENVY, become INSPIRED BY IT, and make yourself your human canvas bro of beautiful art bro. and it doesnt matter if it starts out as crap, all artists make crap at first, its a lifelong thing, and thats ok, and even if its crap, its still beautiful because it is authentic boiii

this is applicable for building any sort of relationship!

You don't have to chase squat.

AND THEN IF THEY GET INTERESTED IN YOU BACK, OR IF THEY ALREADY ARE AND THEY GET MORE INTERESTED IN U, Then you be honest with your feelings and then its entirely up to them and that's ok. Be OK with the fact that, bitch, there ain't no way to having a 100% guarantee or win rate in love bc that's stupid and things are always unique in terms of other people's relationships and personalities. NOT HAVING A 100% GUARANTEE IS TOTALLY NORMAL AND IT DOESNT MEAN YOURE SHITTY Following other people's bullshit dating advice is only going to attract you people that have bullshit values :) and that is NO BUENO homie, no matter how lonely you are my homie.

IF YOU WANT GOOD SHIT FOR YOUR HOMIES, AND U WANT GOOD SHIT FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP PARTNER/S THEN U SHOULD WANT GOOD SHIT FOR YOURSELF BITCH

And now for the last step, or second actually, chronologically. But it requires the two above to understand.

You have to actually *decide* on who to date. Don't just pick someone just because they're the only option you see. Because, who would like only being liked that shallowly? it might not be a turn off if they're that desperate, but it would suck for them and make them sad. Plus, you're not getting much out of the relationship if you don't truly VALUE who you're with AS THEMSELF. Like, why u wanna be with them for life bro? If you don't even know them bro? And if you don't VALUE who that person is, they won't

Because the act of valuing a person, is valuable to the person. The very act of being choosy and choosing that person is important. Goes both ways. Don't pursue someone who is not on the same level of you in the value department

"BUT IM TOO TRASH TO EVEN BE PICKY.. oR PEOPLE CANT ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM BECAUSE OF X Y Z THINGS I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER LIKE BEING TRANS OR BEING NEURODIVERGENT"

THAT AINT THE CASE. THAT COULD NOT BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH. EVERYBODY HAS GOT A RIGHT TO BE PICKY. IT IS A HUGE FACTOR FOR SUCCESS IN A RELATIONSHIP. BE PICKY, BITCH.

Everyone else's dating advice rely on other psychological tactics that allow you to become more perceivable/noticed by other people, which isn't intrinsically bad, but on its own its not sustainable. What I'm telling you is how to sustain that crap, yo. Its entirely up to you to follow them as well.

What you really have to be on the watch for is what kind of person do you want to notice you? This doesn't require you to change who you are bc you have to take into account that this person would also like who you are.

But yeah, if you wanna attract hot people, in most cases, you have to look your own brand of hot. Its just how things work. If you wanna attract good people, you have to be good.

And the process will follow. If you wanna be noticed by something, you gotta be around it, and you can figure that out on your own, you don't need weirdly phrased shit by other people

Oh yeah another last thing, you gotta make yourself strong bro. You gotta make sure your self love is strong enough that if you fuck up (and have to improve yourself) or get disliked/rejected for something that isn't your or anyone's fault, that it wont falter or it would get back together again.

Know to distinguish true criticism, needless bashing, and something that's just up to personal taste. Accept criticism and do it without the hurt, and ignore shit you don't have to change and dont feel like changing and move on

That's all everybro (gender neutral) go and slay

#dating advice #dating #glow up #self care #glow up tips #self care tips #self love #level up #level up tips #relationship advice #relationships #dating tips #online dating #relationship tips #relationship #self confidence #rejection #positivity #positive attitude #how to stop being bitchless #no bitches? #need bitches? #how to get bitches

[thebluekid-underyourbed]

Guys girls people bitches individuals humans

You don't understand. YOU DON'T GET IT. I LOVE ARO PEOPLE SO MUCH/p. ARO PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING AWESOME FUCK AMATONORMATIVITY LOVE LOSES ALL THE AROMANTIC SHIT. Any time I hear the mention of the word love I immediately think of how I feel about aro people existing and I'm like "If this is how love feels then this shit is cool af. I love aro people." Any time I see green of any shade I immediately think of aro people and my day is 50 times better.

Now if you'll excuse me I'll go back to sipping my piña colada or whatever and watching the world burn. Happy pride to all the aromantic people don't care if you're allo or ace or whatever else if you're under the aromantic umbrella then you better motherfucking have yourself a happy fuckin pride month or I will personally paint everything within a 10 mile radius of you green. <2 (yes the heart is a 2 not a 3 on purpose get aro'd bitch)

#aromantic #aro #aro pride #aromantic pride #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtq+ #lgbtqia #lgbt pride #lgbtq community #lgbt representation #queer

[aroaceconfessions]

i'm acespec, maybe arospec too (if i try to label myself here it's gonna be super long so i won't), and i sent an ask ages ago because i was freaking about potentially having a crush on an online friend that i hadn't known for long. I was freaking out because i had a habit growing up of getting "crushes" on people without really knowing them, which led to many disappointments. Turns out most of those crushes were me mistaking aesthetic attraction for other stuff and obsessing over them bcs of amatonormativity. Anyways! For months i was super flustered when talking to this friend not really understanding why but i think it was alterous attraction bcs they are,,, such a cool and kind person and i really wanted to be friends with them. It's been around a year i think and we still talk! I wish we could talk more but social anxiety is a bitch. I always think i'm going to fuck up the conversation somehow or that i don't have anything worth sharing. But what i came here to say is that i love them a lot, whatever kind of love that may be. Their existence alone makes me happy lol. And it's still shocking to me that i Want to talk to them. Because of social anxiety, i've never liked chatting with people online but i Want to talk to them and was the first to reach out a couple of times which is,,, woah. I'm kind of constantly afraid i'm going to lose them bcs i've lost Many friendships due to circumstance but i'm trying my best to cherish the moment for as long as it lasts

#aromantic #asexual #aroace #arospec #acespec #aspec #aroacespec #arose #questioning #friends #friendship #amatonormativity #social anxiety