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thriftdyke · 7 months

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it really does bother me how no one can seem to answer the question “what even is romantic attraction, really.” like some people are like “it’s who you wanna kiss and cuddle <3” and I’m like ok well kisses and cuddles can be either sexual or platonic depending on context. “It’s who you feel passion/desire/arousal for” well that just sounds like sexual attraction which you can have without even knowing somebody so I fail to see how that’s romantic. “It’s who you want to go on dates with” I go on dates with friends all the time plus “date” is a social construct anyway there’s really no innate difference between a date and hanging out. “it’s who you have deep feelings for” great news for you that can be literally any type of relationship. my friend told me she defined it as “who you wanna give roses to” and I’m like do u hear urself??? like the more I talk to people the more I’m convinced romance and romantic attraction is an elaborate socially fabricated illusion that has no real defining characteristics. and like there’s nothing Wrong with it being a constuct but why people are so attached to defending the supremacy of it is something I cannot for the life of me figure out

#like reading this u might be like ‘sounds like ur just aromantic sis’ but I’m like. listen.#ur missing my point. which is that I literally think romance Does Not Exist #at least not in this bioessentialist way people like to pretend it does #the desire for companionship and the desire for sex are biological drives. everything else is a social construct #which doesn’t mean its bad! or not valid! or anything like that!#but I’m just genuinely do not understand Why we are so bent on treating it like gospel

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pikp0kcas3 · 3 months

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The Hazbin Hotel fandom’s issue with accepting aromanticism and asexuality

Now that it is officially Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week, I want to talk about this!

I find that, as an aroace myself, I am constantly grasping at good representation and coming up empty— it usually ends up in one of two ways.

One: the character is portrayed as emotionless, cold, and robotic in nature. It’s the question aromantic and/or asexual people are often asked: “Are you heartless?” The answer is no, of course, but general media makes it out to be the opposite.

Or two: Their lack of attraction is seen as something to “fix” because they “haven’t found the right one yet”, and they end up with a partner as a “happy ending”.

It frustrates me greatly because of how little people actually see aromanticism or asexuality as a true part of the LGBTQIA+ community.

So when I watched Hazbin Hotel, and I found out about Alastor being aroace, I was over the moon. I was on cloud nine. I also saw how his voice actor has looked up the term as an attempt to learn about aroaces, which makes me OVERJOYED?? Amir is truly a blessing, and I love that he’s proud to embody a character that’s part of our community. It’s so beautiful to finally have a proper character, a fan favorite at that, who just so happens to be aroace— and that’s another thing I love about this.

It’s never explicitly stated in the show (though it is stated in interviews), but it’s rather clear when you’re watching, isn’t it? Alastor’s aversion to any sort of sexual advancement, coupled with Rosie’s blatant “I know you’re an ace in the hole” comment sort of spell out his asexuality pretty clearly, as well as what side of the spectrum he falls upon. In addition, his Valentine’s day card was strictly platonic, which caters to his aromantic side. It feels so validating to finally be represented, to finally have a character in media who shares the same lack of interest in romance and sex as I do.

When I entered the fandom to look for more content, I kind of expected to see the same respect for Alastor’s orientation there too. But that… wasn’t the case? I am fully aware that aromanticism and asexuality are both spectrums— of course, aromantic and/or asexual people can enter those kinds of relationships. I’m not denying that and they belong in the community as much as anyone else on the spectrum.

But, the more I see the same line again and again and again, the more it feels like an excuse to just ship what you want.

Usually I don’t mind shipping? I’m often a firm believer in people shipping what they like as long as it’s harmless and they don’t go crazy over it. I also know for a fact that Viv doesn’t have a problem with people shipping her characters. They are fictional, after all.

But in this case, people are ignoring the very thing that makes Alastor a part of the aroace community! People are ignoring his lack of romantic or sexual attraction!

Is this not the same as changing a gay character’s orientation to suit a straight ship? If not, how so? I’m told that we are a part of this community, so why aren’t we being treated like it? Why is it so hard to accept the people on the end of the spectrum who aren’t interested?

Something I’ve been noticing throughout my life is that society has not exactly progressed very much on the idea of accepting asexual or aromantic identities. Maybe we have, a little, since the old days— but hell, people in “the old days”, which in truth wasn’t very long ago, believed that asexuality was a medical condition to be “fixed” by taking the right medication or having sex. That’s a pretty low bar to clear. And on the romance side, you’re seen as a “late bloomer” or “boring” if you don’t express interest. These days, being friends with someone is treated like a gateway to them possibly becoming a lover. Not getting married, not going on dates, not wanting a partner— it’s all treated like a crime when it’s not.

Maybe I’m selfish, or sensitive, or I’m butthurt over nothing, or I’m making it all about me. Maybe I’m gatekeeping or whatever the term is. But please, please, please, I just want an aroace character like me who simply is not interested in sex or romance.

And I want fandom to respect that. I admire the creations that fans make— the art, the animatics, the writing and the character analysis. And I want people to keep creating because creation is indeed a beautiful thing.

But I really would like people to treat aroace identities like they’re important. Like it’s more than just a spectrum to get wiggle room to wrangle in another ship.

#aromantism #aromantic #aroace #asexual #hazbin hotel #alastor #hazbin alastor #lgbtqia #alastor aroace #PLEASE i just want people to LEAVE HIM ALONE #“but it’s a spectrum” STOP USING IT AS AN EXCUSE #RESPECT AROACE PEOPLE WITH ZERO INTEREST IN ROMACE AND SEX #let us have this #we barely get anything as it is #but just to clarify i don’t believe that most people are being intentionally rude about it #nor am i discouraging people from creating fan content because it is FAN CONTENT and you can express yourself #i just would like people to understand a little more that #yes it is a spectrum and it covers an extremely wide range of orientations #yes ANYONE who identities as someone on the spectrum is completely valid #if you wanna argue with that i am showing you the door and kicking your sorry aphobic ass out #my point is that the spectrum is not a loophole. it is not an excuse and it is NOT okay to just use it willy nilly for your convenience

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deafening-radio-silence · 4 months

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NOTHING could have prepared me for the reality of letting a cat into my house

#bucky barnes #marvel #alpine #my art #digital art #recovery #for bucky #there is something about having 10+ claws in your leg that keeps you from deep dissociation #i really hated the last piece i posted #i need to stop fighting my art style #i understand experimentation is growth #but maybe i shouldn't always feel like i need validation for it #and should keep it to myself #but i will share my beloved sketchy style

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ruhlare · 2 months

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i don't like it when someone is easy to reach. when someone is open to everyone, when literally anyone can get their attention. it is a question of values and principles not to be open to everyone and not to have the need for everyone's attention. people who are easily available won't value soulful connections.

#that's something i think about a lot #the same goes for social media #can't take people serious who seek online validation #especially some men are easily to find behind the posts and likes of women #this makes someone clearly unattractive in my eyes #does someone understand what i am trying to say?#how less do you have to think of yourself to fill the void with VARIOUS people?#i like people who stand out #my writing #soul #letters

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sluttylittlewaste · 2 months

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It's wild how many people took Kristen's line of questioning as her saying Tracker isn't taking her religion seriously instead of what I heard her asking which was:

How many of these people would be here if it wasn't religious Coachella?

#also #some of y'all don't seem to realize that Brennan is referencing some very serious real world questions #of what happens when legitimate religious movements get turned into social clubs #and how that transformation often deteriorates the messaging and purpose of said movement #jesus and judas had the same conversation #it's a significant part of why protestantism even exists #did y'all not watch the Hillsong doc?#have y'all never been to an evangelical megachurch #when the church start using free shit and cushy rewards to get people to join? it's a dog whistle for them losing the plot #which Kristen 100% knows #which is WHY SHE ASKED #she's asking how many of these people give a real fuck about Galicaea #IT'S A VALID QUESTION #and it's important that Kristen #(who understands just how deeply Tracker cares)#can pull her back to the reality of what she came to Fallinel to do #let me die #if i die #d20 fhjy #fhjy #dimension 20 #kristen applebees #rant #tracker o'shaughnessey #trackerbees

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cannibalistic-deer · 2 months

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It baffles me that I've seen people say "Alastor is canonically sex and touch repulsed" as a reason people "shouldn't" be shipping Alastor sexually/romantically.

Why assume that the sex repulsion applies to every relationship in his life, permanently? Some aces are sex favorable, or may develop more favorable feelings for specific people, even if otherwise repulsed.

And the same applies to touch repulsion. That's such a weak argument. Alastor canonically, and very clearly, is okay with or possibly even enjoys touch in specific situations. He does seem to be touch repulsed in general, but again, there are specific people it doesn't apply to. (Rosie is the best example, since with anyone else it is more brief, but Rosie touches him, and is the one initiating that, frequently.)

All types of attraction, or comfort levels with different manners of affection, are fluid. This isn't ever an excuse to invalidate real people who are telling you their identities, but it does mean that assumptions really can't be made about what a person would or wouldn't do.

And this type of thinking is what really leads to invalidating real people, because even if you think "being asexual means never having sexual attraction," and then an ace person shares that they think they might have experienced sexual attraction at some point but still identify as ace... then you have to be open to that. You cannot put sexualities in boxes. This applies to all sexualities.

I'm a fictive of Alastor myself, and I am sex repulsed, so I understand the discomfort, but I also understand that people are not harming any real, living person by making fanworks where Alastor is having sex. It also doesn't mean they're inherently rejecting his asexuality.

If people want to ignore Alastor being aroace completely, that's different. Alastor is canonically aroace (or asexual at minimum), and he always will be. But jumping to conclusions about what people think because you're too naive and stubborn to understand that sexuality and attraction doesn't fit into tidy little boxes is harmful and is a way of thinking that must be changed.

This became longer than intended because I was mostly thinking about the "Alastor is touch repulsed to everyone!" claims some people make, which are frankly incompatible with canon. But the rest of this post is also true.

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rebekahgaveup · 1 month

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Without a doubt the worst part of Taylor being at this level of popularity/fame again is all the people who want to be different and edgy and are claiming she's just an objectively evil man-hating eco-terrorist attention whore all while proudly proclaiming they also know nothing about her bc they don't like her

#i'm not even saying there aren't valid criticisms of her #but I've genuinely seen people claim she's participating in some political scheme to use football to distract from palestine #presumably for the benefit of the capitalist overlords she supposedly worships #and at a certain point you're not being critical you're just rambling madly on the internet about a conspiracy theory you made up #people genuinely get so insane about her and I do not understand why

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drdemonprince · 4 months

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people who are obsessed with passing are gonna be the death of our community i swear

#i understand how and why so many succumb to that temptation and of course i get it ive been there but its POISON #listening to a podcast where a trans guy says getting maamed on the phone bc hes nice means he “failed”#is soooo .... ugh #my dude that happens to so many cis gay men are you kidding me #are you really about to study how to be mean on the phone rather than just correct somebody #or just like not define your existence by fleeting interactions w strangers #if you define yourself only by passing at all times youre gonna turn into a sad hudsons guide esque husk of yourself #fuck passing 2024 i am so over it #it truly is a never ending chase for cis validation and its bad for us!!!!!

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heymacy · 2 months

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IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder

╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher

#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies #(more thoughts at the end of the tags)#shameless #shamelessnet #shamelessedit #ian gallagher #cameron monaghan #*macygifs #bipolar disorder #hello pals how are we doin #i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags #and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes)#i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation #that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day #world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder #which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life #while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life #and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines #over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful #i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended #hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles #world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder #and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized)#it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all #it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen #so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can.#we are worth it #i promise #anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder #go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives

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privateolives · 5 months

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This is probably because I grew up watching 24/7 animal planet, but what finally made the allo/aplatonic thing click for me were the nature's of big cats.

Lions are powerful, regal creatures who are uniquely adapted to pack life. They need these connections to live a healthy life; A lonely lion is a miserable creature indeed.

Jaguars are solitary, beautiful creatures who live happily solitary. They prowl their lush world with self-sufficient majesty. A jaguar is not lonely without a pack. In fact, forcing jaguars to share space with others they do not enjoy is just as damaging as forcing a lion to live alone.

A lion may choose to head out on it's own for the most part, but in the end must return to the pack to thrive. A jaguar can choose to trust and enjoy the company of others, but they never feel the need to form a pack.

Is a jaguar selfish for this? A psychopath, a narcissist or any other such horrid assumptions? Is it a less moral creature than a lion, who seeks others like it to thrive?

Is a lion pathetic, or needy, or selfish for wanting community? For requiring contact with others like they require water? For their inherent need to string complicated webs of relationships that may seem silly or dramatic to others?

Of course not. These are ridiculous questions to even ask.

They are simply lions and jaguars.

In fact, is a jaguar that chooses to spend time with you not as magical as a lion's love? For a creature that needs no bond to thrive to still enjoy your presence enough to share it a time? Is a lion who can prowl the night alone not impressive in its strength and resilience? Is it not awe-inspiring in its ability to conquer a life it was never wired for and reign still?

Are they not both beautiful and awe-inspiring in their own ways, without being wrong?

Alloplatonics. Aplatonics. Are we not both special and beautiful in both our bonds and self-confident happiness equal, in each our ways? Is there not unique beauty in lifelong bonded packs and magical encounters that need no perpetuity to carry life forward?

Are we not but lions and jaguars? Neither wrong, neither selfish, but just different and beautiful creatures in each our ways?

That's how I've come to see it, anyway.

#lgbt #aspec #lgbtqa+#asexual #aromantic #aroace #loveless #aplatonic #alloplatonic #animals #I woke up at like 3 in themmorning to write this so I apologise for weird wording #I'm not awake enough to go hunting for the videos but if you want to see more about the equal majesty and difference in cats bonding #I suggest looking up Kevin Richardson's work with lions and panthers #I love animals. I hope I didn’t come off as degrading to anyone by using them as comparison #I can assure you the association only carries the deepest respect from me.#anyway all the aro discourse floating about made me think of this issue again #and how explaining allo/a-platonic needs has been a difficult task in the past #you're all valid no matter your labels or shapes or spots or manes #remember that when an orientation you don't understand comes to the lgbtable your job isn't to test them #it's to make room

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coffeebanana · 11 months

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The way the finale went down isn’t the ending a lot of people wanted—I get that, and I sympathize. But I really do believe that’s in part because it isn’t an ending.

And, frankly, I love the way this season finale went purely for selfish reasons.

The thing is, I honestly think that from a fandom POV, that’s so much better than having everything go the way we wanted or expected. I’m already so inspired to create things—to patch holes of things I didn’t get to see or hypothesize on how things will turn out. There’s debate on what the wish really means that I KNOW is going to manifest in some creative af world building in future fics I’ll get to read.

I know some people are contemplating leaving the fandom after this, but that was going to happen regardless of how the season went down. And I hope that some of those people still find a way to enjoy what the show has given them. I hope people realize it’s never too late to play with whatever ideas they may have.

I think this “ending” is unsettling on purpose. And I think so many cool things are going to be created because of that set-up.

I’m super duper excited okay?

#I do think because I had a few things spoiled for me it made the episode easier for me to digest personally #and I kind of had no expectations going in so I just really enjoyed it!#and yes there are aspects I didn’t love but I’m going to make an effort to spread positivity instead of pointing those out #I just love this silly little show and that’s gonna be true even if I disagree with the way some things go #but I do understand other ppl might not feel the same way and that’s valid! everyone is valid!#i just selfishly hope I get to see that manifest in fics hehe #miraculous ladybug #ml conformation #conformation spoilers #ml recreation #recreation spoilers #ml s5 #ml spoilers

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to-be-a-dreamer · 5 months

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No, because I've already talked about this to the Discord besties but I'm still vibrating over the fact that Percy didn't just sacrifice himself for Annabeth, he outsmarted her. He tricked her into letting him be the one to stay behind that's such an amazing detail

#the way the show and specifically walker portrays percy's incredible social and emotional intelligence #i love it so so much #he immediately knows what happened between annabeth and echidna #he knows the right thing to say to cheer her up when she feels bad about snapping at grover #he understands and validates her relationship with athena even though he doesn't 100% GET IT get it #he is so so smart and i love how they're showing that in both dialogue and walker's acting choices #you can SEE the gears turning in his head whenever stuff starts happening #10/10 but also that cliffhanger was inhumane #percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackson disney+#percy jackson #annabeth chase #percabeth #walker scobell #percy jackson episode 4 #percy jackson spoilers

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thefabelmans2022 · 5 months

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sorry you can't criticize saltburn if your main criticism is "the poor character is evil!!!!1!!!" because he's literally not poor. that's kind of a massive plot point.

#there are so many valid reasons to criticize this movie but sometimes i wonder if anyone else actually paid attention to it #saltburn #one of those movies that i enjoyed but also understand nearly every criticism of #but also so many of them are wrong!!!! so i'm forced to become a full time saltburn defender bc some of you weren't paying attention!!!!!!

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viv-url · 8 months

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