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#and he was so wracked with guilt and he didn’t know what to do even after he apologized
tinyundercover · 3 days
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pepper & felix
part eleven
the aftermath of last night word count: 2.5k
Felix stared at the ceiling, vaguely aware of the alarm beeping on his nightstand.
It was grating to his ears. Internally, he knew that he needed to get ready for class, but the events of last night simply refused to leave his mind. Stressful memories weighed down on him like a rock, leaving him motionless in his bed.
Pepper is my soulmate.
The voice in his mind and the borrower in his walls were the same person. It was comforting to finally have an explanation for his strange feelings towards Pepper, and why he always felt so drawn to him… but at the same time, it was hard not to feel absolutely terrified.
A month ago, he didn’t even know that borrowers existed. Worry fluttered around Felix’s chest as he wondered how they would possibly further their relationship, considering their vast size difference and the uncomfortable power imbalance between them. He had only held Pepper a few times, and he had been wracked with anxiety every single time. Now, he wasn’t just putting the life of a borrower in his hands, but his soulmate’s. 
…And what was he supposed to tell his friends and family?
Felix sighed heavily, drawing his blanket further to him. Part of him wished he had stayed at Alice’s place yesterday to explain everything to her, but he hadn’t wanted to keep the borrowers there any longer. Today, he would have to talk to Alice alone and explain the situation without putting Pepper and his sister in more danger.
A sleepy, familiar voice suddenly floated into his mind, disrupting his thoughts. “Your alarm is going off.”
Felix sat up abruptly, finally registering the consistent beeping that filled the room. With a flush he leaned over, shutting off his alarm, then brought his hands to his chest. “Sorry. I was thinking.”
“About me, I hope,” Pepper said sleepily. A second later he added, “Basil says hi.”
It took a moment for Felix to register who “Basil” was. He drummed his fingers over his chest, curious, wondering if Pepper had meant to share his sister’s name or if it had slipped out by accident.
His lips twitched into a smile. “Tell her I said hi.”
“Mhmmm.”
Pepper’s voice had already drifted off into exhaustion. A warm feeling swirled around Felix’s chest, and as he got out of he bed, he tried to remain quiet for his small, sleeping guests.
—— 
Sunlight filtered through the window, dappling the floor of the hallway in yellow. Felix waited against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, checking his phone every few minutes.
Alice had agreed to meet him here, but as time stretched on, Felix was beginning to doubt her. His stomach twisted in a mixture of fear and guilt, and he prayed that Alice would at least be willing to listen. They had been friends for almost three years. He wanted more than anything to give her the benefit of the doubt.
“Hey.”
Felix glanced up, heart skipping a beat when he caught sight of Alice approaching. Her expression was empty, but Felix couldn’t help but notice the tightness of her hand around the strap of her bookbag.
“Alice,” Felix said in relief, straightening up. “Hi.”
She stopped a few feet away and leaned against the wall, crossing her arms. Her blue eyes danced over his form before meeting his gaze again. She said nothing, clearly expecting him to talk first.
“Did you tell anyone about them?” Felix asked before he could stop himself.
Dark lashes blinked. “...Why would I do that?” Alice responded after a moment, tilting her head. Felix still couldn’t read her emotions. “No one would believe me.”
Relief rushed into Felix’s chest, and he exhaled, nodding. “Good. Thank you. They’re not supposed to—”
“What the hell happened last night?” Alice cut him off, exasperation seeping into her tone. “Seriously, what the fuck?”
Felix immediately faltered. He supposed that was a fair reaction, but he still wasn’t prepared for her sudden frustration. “It’s— it’s a lot to explain.”
Alice raised her eyebrows.
“They’re just people,” Felix clarified, fiddling his thumbs and frowning. “But… a lot smaller. They’re not, like, dangerous or anything. Just people.”
“Well, obviously,” Alice pointed out. “I just want to know what they were doing in your apartment.”
Felix found himself at a loss for words. How much was he allowed to share with Alice without putting the existence of borrowers in any more danger? 
“They’re my friends,” he said slowly.
Alice stared for a moment, eyebrows lifting. “You’re… actually friends with them?”
Felix frowned and nodded, and Alice crossed her arms, brow furrowing again. “Oh. When they said they were your friends, I… I thought they were lying. It’s not like you’ve ever told anyone about them.” She peered closer at Felix, eyes icy. “Why didn’t you tell me? Or Breanna? Owen?”
Warmth spread through Felix’s chest, a bit flustered to hear that the borrowers had referred to themselves as his friends. He then hardened his expression as he processed Alice’s other words, the warmth fading. “They’re a secret,” he pointed out. “Humans aren’t supposed to know about them because when they do they put them in jars.”
The anger entered his voice without meaning to. Alice stepped back, hurt etched in her expression. “What else was I supposed to do?”
“I don’t know– talk to them?”
“I tried to!” Alice exclaimed. “They just freaked out!”
“Alice,” Felix exhaled, momentarily pressing his fingertips to his temples, “they’re three inches tall. Just think about what we look like to them. Of course they would freak out– they were probably scared of you.”
“I barely touched them.”
Felix blinked, processing her words. Heat filled his chest, hot and angry. “Are you serious?”
“I mean– I put them in my pocket for a second, and then I put them in that jar, but that’s–”
“You hurt them!” Felix retorted before he could stop himself. Alice jumped. “Didn’t you see the bruise on Ba– on that girl’s face?”
Silence stretched between them for several seconds. Alice’s face fell, blinking rapidly. “That was an accident. She fell when she was in the jar.”
“That you put them in,” Felix objected, features sharp.
Alice stared at him, lips slightly parted, brow furrowed. Felix could sense the frustration floating off of her, and guilt instinctively crept its way into his chest past his own anger. He hadn’t meant for this to turn into an accusation. 
It was hard for him to truly believe that Alice would intentionally harm either borrower beyond repair. As difficult as Alice was being, Felix understood that she was just confused about last night’s events. He couldn’t exactly blame her for acting irrationally towards the borrowers when she didn’t even know that they existed until twelve hours ago. (It’s not like his first interaction with Pepper had gone smoothly, either.)
Alice tended to maintain a tough, closed-off persona, which Felix usually found admirable. Unfortunately, Alice’s attitude meant that strangers tended to think she was cold-hearted– so Felix couldn’t even imagine how a borrower might perceive her, with every one of her actions amplified tenfold. Honestly, if Felix was three inches tall, he would be positively terrified of her. 
Felix took a deep breath, focusing on Alice again. “Just… just please don’t tell anyone about them,” he said finally. “That’s all. I’m sorry you got mixed up in this.”
Alice said nothing.
“But did she say sorry?” Pepper demanded.
The borrower had his palms pressed to the back of his neck, pacing back and forth across the counter, mindful of the large knife being wielded only a foot away. Felix was chopping tomatoes on a cutting board, and although his eyes were focused on the knife, he was paying attention to what Pepper was saying.
“I think she feels bad,” Felix responded after a moment, brow furrowing. 
“She should feel bad,” Pepper grumbled. “She could have killed us.” The memories of being shaken around a jar flashed through his mind, and he instinctively dropped his hands to hug himself, shuddering at the distant feeling of his joints slamming into solid glass.
Felix spared him a glance, eyes searching his small form, before turning back to the cutting board. “Ah… is your sister doing okay?” His voice was light.
Pepper stopped pacing and peered up at Felix. “She’s okay. She’s been sleeping all day, actually, but she’s overdue for some rest.” A miserable thought entered his mind, and he frowned, registering for the first time this evening that he was holding a conversation with a giant. “You know, yesterday was the first time she’s ever been seen by a human.”
Worry crossed Felix’s face. “Oh. That… that must have been awful.”
“It was.” Pepper nodded dejectedly, unable to sugarcoat it if he tried. “I mean, I was terrified, and I actually have experience with humans.” He gestured vaguely to Felix, who had abandoned the cutting board and was now giving Pepper his full attention. “But it was all new for her. It had to be so… overwhelming.”
The borrower sighed, gaze wandering to Felix’s hand, which was resting on the handle of the massive knife. “Being grabbed is not fun.” He shuddered at the memories of being trapped in an unrelenting grip, arms painfully pressed into his ribs. “You’re— you’re completely helpless, and when you’re against someone so much bigger than you it’s terrifying. It’s— it’s just…”
He trailed off at Felix’s wide-eyed expression. A twinge of guilt entered Pepper’s chest at the memory of their first meeting, and he shifted on his feet. “I’m really lucky that you’re nice,” Pepper added as an afterthought. Felix said nothing.
Felix remained quiet for the remainder of the cooking process, occasionally nodding or humming in response to Pepper’s rambling. Part of Pepper felt guilty for insulting Felix’s friend over and over again, but in his defense, she had literally kidnapped him.
In all honesty, it was just nice to spend some time with Felix alone. 
“What are you making?” Pepper asked finally. Felix had moved further down the corner to where the stove was, turning the heat on. The occasional click or clang of Felix’s cooking equipment made Pepper a little dizzy, but he ignored it.
“Pasta,” Felix replied, holding up an uncooked piece of rigatoni before dropping it into a large pot. A flush crossed Felix’s face suddenly. “I, um, I thought these pieces might be easier for you to take home with you.”
Something fluttered in Pepper’s chest, warm and surprised. A small part of him— his defensive, primal instinct— hissed at him for taking handouts from a human. 
But at the same time, it was a nice feeling to be considered in something as insignificant as dinner.
“Thank you,” Pepper said breathlessly. 
As Felix stirred a wooden spoon into the pot, Pepper began his trek along the counter. Felix had moved the cutting board away after he had scraped the diced tomatoes into a pan, opening up Pepper’s path towards the stovetop.
As he approached, the heat from the humming stove was startling. Pepper had watched Felix cook for a year, but he had always been hidden away in the walls. This was the closest he had ever been to the stove while it was on.
A small gap, about half an inch long, was nestled between the edge of the gray countertop and the smooth white surface of the stove. On the burner closest to Pepper was a wide black pan, and although Pepper couldn’t see the pasta sauce within it, he could certainly smell it. Past the pan was a tall pot, bubbling with water.
The cooking process had become surprisingly loud in the last few minutes. Unable to quell his curiosity, Pepper stood up on his toes at the edge of the gap, trying to peer into the pan which contained the pasta sauce.
Felix caught his eye, and although Pepper trusted his own instincts, Felix certainly didn’t.
“Wh— hey,” Pepper objected, suppressing a flinch as Felix’s large hand suddenly approached. Alarm bells rang in his mind, and on instinct he dropped back into his heels. 
Felix hadn’t touched him all day, hadn’t even tried. The last thing Pepper had expected at this moment was for Felix to grab him, especially after what happened last night.
But Felix didn’t grab him. The human barely even looked at him, blue gaze distractedly shifting from the small borrower back to the stovetop. Pepper blinked in surprise as the back of Felix’s knuckles bumped into his chest, slightly curled inward, gently nudging the borrower away from the stove. Pepper’s small hands landed on Felix’s forefinger for stability.
“Careful,” Felix murmured, withdrawing his hand and turning his attention fully back to the boiling pot of water.
Pepper blinked. His own hands floated in the air, empty and useless. He hadn’t expected the gentle touch from Felix, nor had he expected it to vanish seconds later, feeling strangely empty.
So much power resided within Felix’s hand. Pepper had felt the sheer force radiating from those fingers, each one surpassing him in height, and inwardly he knew that Felix could have done anything he wanted. Felix could have snatched Pepper up or swatted him away without even batting an eye, but the knuckles against Pepper’s chest had been soft, careful, gentle.
Felix was humming to himself, clearly not aware of how significant his action had appeared to Pepper. The borrower stared up at him, heart fluttering, suddenly in awe of the calculated way Felix was moving his hands around as he cooked.
It’s not like Pepper had actually been in danger. As a borrower, he knew better than to stand at the edge of the counter without paying close attention to where he placed his feet.
Still, as he stared up at his soulmate, he felt incredibly touched.
——
The empty jar was still sitting on Alice’s counter, sticking out like a sore thumb. She hadn’t touched it since last night.
It was hard not to stare at it. She leaned against the wall opposite to the counter, a glass of water in hand, the room silent aside from the faint hum of the kitchen light. 
She couldn’t sleep. 
She hadn’t been able to sleep last night, either, not since Felix had left her apartment with two tiny people in hand.
The jar seemed to taunt Alice. It was on its side, left there after Felix had tipped it to free the tiny people inside. If Alice looked closely, she could see the smattering of tiny handprints on the glass, each one smaller than her fingernail, and she could only wonder what the tiny people were doing now. 
Her phone was in her hand before she could think about it, her thumb hovering over Felix’s contact, and she briefly thought back to how it had felt to hold two entire people in a fist. Her nose scrunched, and she stared down at her phone’s glowing screen, unable to move a muscle.
With a heavy breath she finally turned her phone off and slipped it into her pocket.
She’ll see Felix tomorrow at their first rehearsal, anyway.
------
tysm for reading!! <3
@smallsday @compact-katrina @satethesatelite @taters169 @entomolog-t @gtzel @gt-newbie @da3dm
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milktearosethorn · 1 month
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Choosing to be kind to others can be a form of self-care, it is not shameful 💕
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mars-ipan · 7 months
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i just woke up from a wild fucking dream
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kxsalt · 14 days
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An evening of laughter over dinner. The young lady sits at the table with a couple, sharing wine and stories. Ever since the pair had moved back into the city, she had quickly grown very close to her friend and her new husband. From the first time she saw them together, the single girl thought they were a perfect couple. She watches them share a kiss with a pang of jealousy and another emotion her inexperienced soul can’t quite describe yet.
A week later the girl rides the train home after a terrible date. The woman had no romantic intentions and was only interested in selling health supplements. Already exhausted, she opens her dating app to see a hundred shirtless men holding fish. She closes it again with a frustrated grunt. The girl arrives at her station and starts to make her way through the crowd.
Up ahead, in the throng of people, she spots her newlywed friend. Her heart jumps, and she pushes through the mob to try and get close to her. I can’t wait to tell her about my horrible date. Maybe she’ll want to hear about it over dinner again. That unfamiliar feeling returns. Getting closer, her friend steps out of the human traffic, standing with a man she doesn’t recognize. The girl is only a few metres away, but invisible among the other passengers.
She watches her friend pull the strange man in for a kiss.
Disbelieving her own eyes, the girl freezes. Even as annoyed people bump into her, she watches, mouth agape as the married woman makes out with the stranger.
What am I seeing. I must be crazy. She wouldn’t cheat on him, they’re both perfect… for each other. I must have this person mistaken for my friend.
The kiss breaks and the woman laughs. A laugh as unique as a fingerprint. The girl sees every detail of her smile.
Oh god, it is her. Why me? What am I going to do?
She returns to her empty apartment, feeling strangely heartbroken. Her husband is an amazing man, doesn’t he deserve to know? Is it none of my business? How could she do this? The next few days are torment. Wracked with guilt from her involuntary secret, she decides to take the unenviable step of telling him about his wife’s infidelity. I have to. It would hurt him more if I didn’t tell him. And it would help her in the end. That unfamiliar feeling cracks through her fear.
Arriving at the couple’s home, the girl feels like she’s going to have a heart attack. Welcoming her in, the married man makes her a cup of tea. The girl is obviously distraught, and he tries his best to calm her down so she can talk. A word salad spills from her mouth, and she starts to cry as she explains what she saw. The man’s face falls as the girl becomes more overwrought. She finishes her story, looking at his soft, compassionate expression.
“I am so sorry that you saw that. I can see how upsetting this is to you. We were always worried that something like this would happen. I’m sorry it was you.”
The girl stops crying, disoriented by his response. She expected him to be angry, or sad, or devastated. But his only concern is for her. He doesn’t seem hurt in the slightest. The man brings her some tissues and encourages her to drink her tea. Sitting down beside her on the couch, he gently starts to explain.
“When we first started dating, we were seeing other people, too. It kind of just… never stopped. We felt comfortable with it, and we knew we wanted to be with each other… It’s changed a lot over the years. When we became official, we would give each other passes, for a date or a night of fun. Always equal. We agree on a pass, we each hook up with someone, and then we come back together. I know it’s unusual, but it works for us.”
The girl is bewildered by his explanation. He continues:
“When we got married, we knew it would change again. We both want to settle down, find a different way for us to do stuff like this without chasing random people. Actually, this pass is supposed to be the last time... Like that at least. I’m so sorry that you got so upset by what we’re doing. You’re a good friend, I know you care about both of us so much. I can see how that would terrify you.”
Her head swims, she stares at the wall. The adrenaline of her mission has worn off, replaced by confusion and embarrassment. He calls his wife and asks her to come home early, so they can explain everything together. A half hour later, she rushes through the door and envelops the young girl in a big hug. The couple holds hands while they answer her questions. The girl relaxes. Her heart warms when she sees them kiss, confirmation of their love.
Feeling as if she has intruded enough, she gets ready to leave. Excusing herself to the bathroom before she goes, the girl sits on the toilet pondering the night’s conversation.
Out of all the possible outcomes, this is the best I could have hoped for. She washes her hands. The best I could realistically hope for. The girl is confused by her own line of thinking. Anything better would be impossible. She dries her hands. What else could I wish for? The girl stares at herself in the mirror, that strange new feeling wells up inside of her, stronger than ever before.
Leaving the bathroom, she finds her friend waiting for her.
“Thank you for being so understanding… I know it’s a lot. I know you came here because you wanted what was best for us, even though it was scary. I admire that. He admires that. You’re a good friend.”
“Thanks, I’m sorry I got so far up in your business… Good luck now that you’re through the ‘giving out passes’ phase. I hope whatever you two do together brings you closer together.”
“Oh, well, we’re not quite done with the pass thing yet.” She subtly points into the living room. “He hasn’t used his pass yet.”
“Ah, well, if I see him with a girl I won’t come crying to you. Haha.”
“Haha, yeah. I mean he could use it with whoever he wanted to. That’s how it works.”
“Right, you explained that earlier.”
An awkward pause drags through the conversation.
“Do you want to stay for dinner tonight?”
“I feel like I already overstayed my welcome.”
“You haven’t. I feel like we should make it up to you.”
“Uh, maybe? I don’t know.”
“I want you to fuck my husband.”
The conversation screeches to a halt. The girl stares at her friend, dumbfounded. They start to talk over one another. You don’t think I’ve been trying to sleep with him, do you? No, I just thought you might like to try it. I wouldn’t want to cause any trouble. It’s no trouble. Wouldn’t it be weird? I don’t think so. Does he even want to? He’s brought it up before. Isn’t that weird? I brought it up first. I’m wearing ugly underwear. I could let you borrow something.
“I’m afraid it would feel like cheating.”
“I could watch, to support you. So you know it’s okay.”
The young lady’s heart almost leaps from her chest. Why did that convince me? At a loss for words, she nods her head.
Standing naked in the couple’s bedroom, she paws through her friend’s clothing. A mixture of fear and excitement whirs though her mind. Taking out a tiny pink thong, she slips it on and steps in front of the mirror. Her familiar emotions mix with the unfamiliar ones. Why does it feel so hot, wearing her lingerie?
A knock at the door, her friend enters. “You look beautiful.” The young girl blushes unexpectedly at the compliment. “My husband will love you. Are you ready?” Another emotion, another nod, more confident this time. She summons her husband.
He gives her a kind smile as he walks into the room. A loving peck on his partner’s cheek, and the man steps towards the new girl. His arms wrap around her waist and their lips touch. They surprise each other with a deep, passionate kiss. Their tongues flirt, their noses rub, their hands roam. His kisses work down her cheek, and into her neck. The girl gasps and looks over to his wife. Relief and joy as she sees her gorgeous smile. His wife’s lips move, whispering. Keep going.
Eager to please them, she reaches down to feel his cock bulge in his pants. The man groans and returns the favour, grasping her wet pussy through the skimpy thong. They touch each other, faster and faster, kissing open and free. She unzips his pants and starts to stroke his cock. He lifts up his shirt so she can see him. His body looks better than I ever imagined.
Dropping to her knees, she takes him in her mouth. The faint taste of his precum overpowers her senses. Fingering herself wildly through her friend’s tiny underwear, the girl does everything she can to make him feel good. Glancing over at his wife, she sees her rubbing her bare pussy. She’s lifted up her dress to touch her breasts, too. Her body looks better than I ever imagined.
The trio are thoroughly excited. Nobody can wait for what comes next. He lifts the girl up and tosses her onto the bed. She spreads her legs and pulls the thong to the side. The husband pushes her legs up against her chest. “Oh god, it looks so good.” The wife chimes from her spot in the corner. He rubs his hard cock against her exposed pussy. “I’ve wanted this for a long time.”
The tip, the head, half way, all the way. There’s no going back now. The married man’s cock stretches out the single girl’s pussy, and they exhale. Enjoying the warmth of his wife’s friend’s body, he starts to stroke his cock in and out of her. The girl trembles, getting used to his size. The wife gasps, rubbing her clit as fast as she can. They fuck each other, making out while the tension releases. The girl is overwhelmed by pleasure and excitement. She starts to encourage her friend.
“Your husband’s cock is so big! Ah~! It’s so good! Ah~! So big… Ah~! Your husband is fucking me so… Ah~! Good!”
“You like that, you dirty little slut?”
“Yes, I love it.”
The couple on the bed roll over. The girl takes his hands and puts them on her ass. A firm grip, and he pulls on her bumcheeks. So he can get deeper. So she can see every inch enter her. She bounces on his dick, thrilled at the thought of how little her friend’s thong is hiding. She feels her orgasm build inside of her. Quickening her pace, the girl will finish soon.
The sounds of a woman cumming fill the room. The couple look over at the wife, helplessly masturbating as she fingers herself to completion. They look back to each other, grinning. “Now it’s my turn…” The girl giggles, playing with her clit while his strong hands pull her up and down on his cock. They kiss passionately again. The girl cums on his married dick, picking up where his wife left off. Pushed over the edge by their chorus, he fills her sweet pussy.
They lie there for what could be an hour, could be a few minutes. The girl slowly climbs off of him, and walks past his wife, also basking in the glow of her orgasm. She heads down the hall, back to the bathroom, to wash up after their encounter. Looking at herself in the mirror again, her unfamiliar feelings beat in her chest. An epiphany strikes her. Like a ray of light through the clouds, she understands herself.
Stepping back into the hallway, his wife is waiting for her again.
“I really, really, enjoyed that… I hope you did, too.”
“It was almost perfect.”
The girl walks up to her. She wraps her hands around her waist. Their lips meet, they kiss. They push back into each other, letting the taste of their first embrace waft through them.
Their fingers touch. Holding hands, tugging lightly, they walk each other back to the bedroom.
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tadpolesonalgae · 8 months
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Azriel x third-oldest-Archeron-sibling!Reader: Can’t Bring Myself To Hate You
A/N: I was in the mood for a writing a heated argument that turns into an even hotter make-out session, but then it got slightly depressing so…
Warning: slight angst but not much because I can’t take that emotionally :’)
-Part 2[*]-
“How was she today?”
You fight the urge to clench your jaw. The harsh snapping of your book is the limit to how far you’ll allow the leash on your anger to slip. Jealousy? Frustration? Whatever complicated nonsense he’s gotten you tangled up in.
“No hello? What about a how are you today?” You ask tersely. So much for keeping your emotions on a tight leash. His brow narrows a little—you don’t usually bubble over when he asks how your older sister is doing. “You weren’t practically bed-ridden for months,” he replies slowly, gauging your response carefully.
Instantly, guilt weighs in the pit of your stomach, and you look away quickly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you,” you soothe hastily. Gods, why did you say that to him? You’re trying to gain his favour, not make him think you’re an ungrateful, self-absorbed sister. “She was fine. We did some baking—well, Elain did some baking, I was reading something. It’s a new book, actually! Because I finished the last one, which was actually pretty good, but this one I think is set in the last war and…” you trail off when you notice the patient smile he’s giving you.
Right. He’s not interested in what book you’re reading, or how you spent the day. He’s not interested in you full stop. He’s interested in Elain. You fight the way disappointment wants to twist the edges of your mouth, instead plastering on a smile that you hope he reads as oops, look at me! There I go again, haha.
“Well,” you say, swallowing the lump in your throat, “she made some cupcakes—I think they were vanilla, and she put something that looked like jam inside. Really good. I’m sure she’d be happy for you to try one—if you ask,” you smile, adding in the details he wants to hear. For the Spymaster, he’s surprisingly open about his interest in Elain to you. But maybe that’s because you’re always so willing to answer any question you can for him.
“I’m glad,” he says, something glimmering in his hazel eyes. “And there were no silent spots? No abrupt changes?” You return your attention to the book in your hands, fingers running over the bound edges, “she was fine all the way. You never would have guessed everything she’s been through.” He hums, pleased with her progress. It’s a sound of contentment, from the back of his throat that you’re certain rumbles throughout his chest. It’s an effort to keep your attention on the book.
It’s been more than two years since the three of you were tossed into the Cauldron. Feyre and Rhysand are happy, Nesta’s made progress on healing herself and is now alarming in love with Cassian, Elain’s taking large steps in a good direction, too. You remember vividly the time when she would hardly utter a word for days, hardly shift her gaze from a strange spot in the middle-distance, how worried she made you and Nesta. And Feyre, obviously, but things were a little…strange at the time. They always had been.
You spent the first few months struggling to hold a meal down, often being wracked with spasms of anxiety and flushes of hot and cold. There was a time you would black out if you stood up too fast, and now you can hold down three meals a day without needing to run to the nearest latrine provided you don’t eat too quickly. You feel like yourself again, but fresher. You know you aren’t the same as you were, though. Not after the Cauldron, but you had no choice but to adapt. With eternity ahead of you, you couldn’t stand the thought of spending it weakened and frail—hardly capable of standing without feeling dizzy.
Maybe you are a little jealous that Elain’s getting all the attention. She’d always been the centre of Nesta’s attention, and while you were on fairly good terms with your oldest sister throughout your childhood, you were no competition for her sharp mind and sharper tongue. Feyre was the wild one, Elain the pretty one, Nesta the cunning one—then there was you.
What’s your place in your dysfunctional family?
“It’s good she seems to be steadily improving,” Azriel says, breaking you from your inner thoughts. You nod dutifully, agreeing with him. “She smiled for most of it, too,” you add, remembering how pleased she’d been when they came out how she wanted—after numerous attempts. “Though she was covered in flour—her hair was practically white!” You laugh fondly, covering your mouth with your hand.
A faint smile appears on his lips and, for just a moment, you let yourself pretend he’s smiling at the sound of your laugh.
But that’s all you have to report back to him, and even if you’ve pleased him, he’ll be finding an excuse to slip off now that he knows she’s been fine. You’ll admit, it’s difficult to remember she’s your sister when he so clearly would choose her over you. It’s not even a competition.
So you swallow your nerves, tuck your hands behind your back and peer up at him. “Hey, you read right?” You ask, keeping a pleasant smile on your lips—lest he think you’re too eager. He blinks out of whatever thought he was having, clearing his gaze as he looks down at you, then nods. “I’ve been known to pick up a book from time to time,” he answers. He’s in a good mood, it seems.
“Do you have a favourite?” You ask, tipping your head at a slight angle, appearing to look at the books stacked on the shelves. “I feel like I’ve been rereading the same story over and over again and want to try something else.”
“You’re asking me to pick just one?” He replies, quirking his brow. The smile that comes to your mouth isn’t as fake, or as controlled as you would like—it stretches your lips thin, showing the gaps either side of the top row of your teeth.
“Okay, give me a couple to have a nose at. So if one bores me to tears, I can pick up another,” you laugh gently, pulling the book tight to your chest, worried you’re showing too much. Does he know how your days often centre around whether he’ll seek you out? The too-short conversations that often revolve around your sister?
“Does Elain read?” He asks, tentatively, and it’s like a stone to your cheek. You clutch the book tighter to your chest, taking in a slow, quiet breath. “I can ask her? Subtly, of course,” you force a smile, fingers digging into the spine of the book. He shakes his head, “I’ll do it. I’d like to see how she’s doing for myself.”
You swallow the lump in your throat, “to be fair, she might be sick of them for how long she was in here last year. They might be an eyesore by now,” you laugh softly. But instead he frowns disapprovingly, like you shouldn’t be making jokes at her expense. And suddenly that urge appears, the urge to confront him about his behaviour—why he never talks to you for you.
“Azriel…?” You say, the smile slipping from your lips, though your make sure your eyes still sparkle a little, keeping them partially crinkled. But then you bite the inside of your lip, and the rest of the mask fades, leaving you raw, and more than a bit scared. If you overthink it, it’ll never get done.
“Why do you…I don’t feel like you ever…like we ever talk. Us,” you say, then flush at the word—so intimate. Us. “What do you mean?” He asks, standing sturdy before you. A seed of frustration sprouts within, but you push the irritation away. “I just…You’re always asking me about Elain.” His brow narrows a bit, and you want to take the words back.
“What else?”
You look up at him, all beauty and classical grace, and such unearthly, ethereal lines and angles to him you wish you knew how to paint like Feyre. “What do you mean, ‘what else’?” You ask, a little hurt.
“I mean, is there something else you want to talk about?” He asks, gently. Carefully.
My book would be nice. I’d like you to ask how I’m doing today, how I’m feeling, what I want to do.
“Something that doesn’t involve my sister, would be nice,” you laugh, giving him a smile that reads, can you really blame me for not wanting to talk about Elain all the time? He doesn’t smile like you’d hoped, but frowns. “Do you not like her?” He asks instead, “did something happen between you two?”
“No,” you say hurriedly. “No—nothing happened, we’re fine. Right as rain. It’s just…you always ask after her, and I feel like that’s the only reason you approach me.” You swallow, having begin to put the truth out there for him. “You seem fine talking about other things with Feyre and Nesta, but I can’t remember the last time we talked about something that wasn’t my sister, and I… I don’t really…” You trail off, watching him nervously.
His frown only deepens as he takes you in. “I’m asking out of concern for her well-being, you understand that, don’t you?” He asks.
“I know, I know, but…are you?” You reply, managing to reign in your wince at the blunt question. When he only looks at you without response, you push forward. “I mean, you…you like her, don’t you? That’s why you ask all these questions? Why you care more than the others do?” You say, fighting to keep your voice even as the words come out. “And there’s nothing wrong with that,” you quickly amend, “but, you know, it would be nice to talk to you for you. And you for me. And, you know, she does have a…mate, so, I just thought—”
“What did you think?”
You blink at the sharp tone, his eyes colder than before, more sealed off. Still, you square your shoulders, keeping the book tucked tight against your front. “Well, that, maybe, it would be better to try somewhere else? Instead of investing in someone who’s practically already taken?”
“She doesn’t love him.”
“I know she says that, but—”
“But nothing,” he says, brow narrowing. “The mating bond can’t force someone to fall in love. If she doesn’t want him, she doesn’t have to have him.”
Your tongue darts out to wet your lips as you shift on your feet beneath his penetrating gaze. “Feyre and Rhys worked out,” you manage, eyes flitting away from his, focusing on the book in your hands. “And she didn’t love him at first.” The paper’s old and crisp—worn with age. “Then Nesta and Cassian also got together, too,” you add, the pads of your fingers dragging over the pages, “and you saw what Nesta was like. How badly she was struggling. They didn’t look like they were going anywhere but destruction, but—”
“Are you done with the nosey speculation into other people’s relationships, or is that how you’ve found yourself filling your time?”
Again you blink at him, caught off guard by the ice in his tone. “I’m not saying it’s wrong to pursue her, Azriel,” you appease—try to. “I’m just saying maybe you could try looking…elsewhere, you know? Maybe try something with someone else? That won’t end badly?”
“You don’t know it will end badly,” he replies, all former warmth gone, no trace of it in his beautifully designed features. “It will for someone. Even if you and Elain do somehow end up together, what about Lucien? If it were Feyre and Rhys, or Nesta and Cass, would you think it okay for someone to try and separate them? When they were chosen to be together?”
“Bad pairings happen. Rhys’ parents are a fine example.”
“Yes, but they’re rather suited for one another, don’t you think?” You ask, pushing forward, “Elain’s always excelled at social events. She easily settles into the flow of conversation—she knows what to say, and how to act to put people at ease around her. And Lucien does the same. He knows how to draw ties between people where there seem to be none, just like her. He knows how to keep conversation flowing without pushing it, how to keep things at the right pace, just like her.”
“While you…” you pause, and his jaw tightens.
“Go on,” he says icily, “tell me why think I’m undeserving of her.”
“I don’t think its a case of deserving, Azriel,” you say quickly. “But you…well, you try to blend into any corner you can when there are more than three people in the room.”
His brow narrows, “I didn’t realise you’d been keeping tabs on me.”
“Yes, well, you’re the only one I’m interested in, so.” Your voice is soft, bladed, honed. Resigned. You lips press into a thin line as your eyes flicker away from his, too embarrassed to look even in his general vicinity. You had never anticipated laying your heart to bare to be so…scary? Terrifying?
Anti-climactic.
Admitted in such a quiet, understated way. As if he isn’t the first one you’ve ever felt so strongly for. As if he isn’t the first one who’s given you a vague understanding of why some women were so happy to do whatever their husbands told them. Why they were so happy to live in subservience, and why that’s not what it was.
“You think you’re deserving of me?” He asks, coldly. Shame and embarrassment heat your features, but you manage to shoot back, “do you think you’re deserving of her?” You cross your arms over your chest, trying to prevent yourself from being intimidated by his height, and muscle, and beauty, and overall damned attractiveness that makes you weak in the knees.
His upper lip twitches in a repressed snarl, anxiety spiking in your chest. “Answer my question,” he says, softly, an edge to his voice. You swallow, “answer mine.” You’ve never demanded something from someone before, but it’s out there now, and it feels surprisingly good to insist on something for yourself.
He regards you silently, and it takes a remarkable strength to stand still beneath his icy gaze—knowing that he’s judging what he’s seeing. Weighing if you’re worth his answer.
“I think I gave a hint of my interest for her,” he says, eyes glittering with something cold that you’re unaccustomed to have turned on yourself. “And she reciprocated with her own signs.” He stares you down, unyielding, and powerful, and you want to run and hide. “What about you?”
You purse your lips to keep them from trembling as heat crawls beneath your skin with humiliation. But—no. Get over it. Make it through. Survive something else. “I think I’m tired, and hurt from knowing that you only talk to me because you want to know how my sister is doing,” you confess, voice wobbling. “I think it’s cruel to continue asking after her when I so obviously answer every question you have just so you might pay me a little more attention.”
There’s no bite to your words, and they come out softer and weaker than you had expected. You feel tired, and drained. Eyelids heavy and heart rate spiking every other beat, numerous crescent shaped indentations on the heel of your palms.
“Maybe you’d be better off turning your affections somewhere they’d be appreciated,” he says, icily. Your heart aches, and it takes a few humiliating moments for you to gather yourself enough that you won’t burst into tears when you again find your voice. “That’s all you have to say?” You manage, fingers trembling behind your back.
“Maybe if you were even half the female she is, I’d be tempted to show a little interest,” he snarls softly, eyes glittering with cold rage.
It feels like a smack to the face, a punch to your stomach. Your eyes go wide, then blur, hot pressure building steadily. You dig your nails into the binding of your book, and move to walk past him—at least preserve what little dignity is still intact by refusing to let him see you cry. He already barely sees you as a woman, you won’t win any points with your blubbering. He wants a female, not a girl.
But he seems to realise what he’s said and turns, gripping your upper arm to keep you from leaving. You allow him to stop you, if only because demanding he let you go would show your tears. “I didn’t mean that,” he says quietly, and you can hear the pity in his voice. “I spoke in anger, I did not mean to upset—”
“Get those hands off me,” you snarl, turning on him with defensive ire blazing in your pupils. Rage fresh from the forges.
He recoils as if you burned him. Retreats a step.
“Not nice, is it? Targeting someone’s insecurity—rubbing salt into an open wound?” You snap, blinking away the tears and pulling your arm back to yourself. “Don’t come asking me for updates on Elain again. I don’t want to talk to you if your only interest is in getting between her legs.”
He’s silent for a moment, and you debate just running from the library—you can feel the storm in him brewing, and you’re not sure you’re ready for him. But he doesn’t wait for you to decide, because the storm breaks right then and there. “At least she has someone interested in getting her into bed,” he says softly, hazel piercing into you. “Can you say the same?”
Mortification flushes your skin, mouth parting in humiliation. “I—…This is inappropriate,” you hiss to hide your burning shame. Because no, it’s always been Elain and Nesta to be pursued. His eyes gleam, reading your thoughts clear as day in your expression. “Thought not.”
Pain twists viciously across your chest, heart strings being plucked within an inch of snapping—pulled taught around your throat. “If I’ve never taken a man to bed, it is not because I am unwanted. Rather that I would not waste my self nor my time on someone I was not sure about. That I did not want with everything I have,” you whisper hoarsely—the final layer stripped bare for him to slice and dissect.
But then he steps forward, and without thinking, you yield a step. He’s not perturbed, and takes another. “You admit you have no experience in bed, yet think you could handle me?” He snarls softly, wings flaring ever so slightly at his back, shadows thickening. “I don’t think it’s a matter of handling you, Azriel.” His name is a little more than a whisper from your mouth. One he tracks eagerly.
“No?” He asks, stepping forward again, slowly herding you. “Then what?” You swallow, trying to stand your ground, but the sense of him is so overpowering, he threatens to obliterate every ounce of your own self. “I think it would be a matter of learning. And if you think I’m unprepared, then Elain is definitely no better off, so that clearly isn’t your issue.”
“At least she’s shared the bed of a man before, at least she would know what to do.” You don’t correct him that you have, in fact, shared a bed with a male before. A few in fact, by this point. Nesta’s the bad influence. He steps forward again, and he’s towering over you, hazel glittering between his shadows. “At least she wouldn’t lose her head over the slightest touch.”
And then his hands have landed softly on your hips, and your head is silent. Only his touch on your body, his warmth on your skin, seeping into your clothes. Does he find your shape pleasing? Is he feeling this mind-numbing shock? The tingling at his fingertips where they’re pressing into you?
For a too-long moment you just stare at him, thoughts eddying about without a destination, floating throughout your conscious.
“Still in there?” He taunts quietly, pushing you back, turning you gently as he feels the heat radiating from your skin, the stiffness to your body beneath his touch. It’s only when a hard, wooden shelf digs into the base of your spine that you realise he’s pushed you against the case. You open your mouth—to say what, you don’t know. He beats you to it either way. “You want to prove you haven’t already lost your mind?” He says softly, voice like a lover’s touch. You can do nothing but stare at him, panting softly, completely at his mercy. “Tell me to stop, or I’ll keep going. Say no, and it finishes,” he murmurs, keeping you pressed tight between his hips and the book case. “But I think you’ve already lost.”
You blink up at him, hardly a thought behind your eyes.
In the back of your mind, you’re struggling frantically to decode his words, translate them into something that makes sense. And then his challenge clicks, and you take a sudden, deep breath. You need to tell him to stop, to show him you’re still in control of yourself—that you haven’t lost your head over the slightest touch.
But then his mouth latches over yours, tongue prying your lips apart, and your efforts of rebellion are washed away. You go all warm, and soft, and pliable in his hands, melting like butter as you coat him. His piercing hazel eyes lock with yours as his mouth slants, one hand rising to the curve of your spine, pulling you against his front.
How are you supposed to stand against him when he annihilates everything that you are with the softest brush of his fingers—fingers that are now tracing up the path of your spine, reaching that final notch as they tangle with delicious pressure in your hair. His gaze cuts into you as his tongue drags across your own, flicking at the roof of your mouth.
He’s utterly unruffled, and you feel like you’re on the verge of bursting into flame right there, setting him ablaze in the process.
But then you’re again subverting his expectations, your hands flying over his shoulders as you tilt your head to allow him deeper. The only sign of surprise he allows is a blink of his eyes, but you’re already lifting onto your tiptoes—the swell of your breasts dragging over his chest in a way you must’ve learned males like. But where would you have learned?
Your arms tighten, then your hips are pressing against him, and—you’re fighting back, he realises. And for the first time in a long, long time, he feels excitement flare deep inside him as you stride to meet him. No matter that you aren’t Elain: he’s hungry, and you can make your own decisions. If you want him to stop, you need only say the word, and he’ll be off you. But if you don’t…well, he’s not going to be the one who backs out first.
He has a damn point to prove—that you have no idea what you’re getting into with him.
Taglist: @myheartfollower @tcris2020 @mali22 @amygdtjhddzvb
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circeyoru · 3 months
Text
Demonic Companion
[Alastor x Human!Reader]
Let's switch it up, this time you're the human and Alastor's back to his demon self
Part 1 (here)
Part 2
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Others have an imaginary friend, and you think you got a demon from Hell
You didn’t even do anything, at least it wasn’t your fault. It was your friends’. They wanted to try summoning a demon after watching it on the internet since it looked fun and scary. It doesn’t actually happen, summoning an actual demon, so everyone was fine with it
Except you, of course. You objected, screamed and shouted ‘no’, even saying that there will be consequences. Though guess since everyone was a kid, no one really thought ahead, even when one did -aka you-, there wasn’t much of an arguable point to give out. You’re a kid, they’re a kid, so no authority, that’s the problem
So when an actual demon was summoned, what’s the next step? The demon, or Alastor, as he introduced himself was also known as the Radio Demon. Now Alastor offered a deal in exchange for whatever you and your friends wanted, he’d have your souls. Your friends were quick to agree, except for you, again
What did your friends want? The newest dollhouse, the toy car his parents wouldn’t buy for him, a giant fluffy soft toy bear, and a makeup set. Children, right?
You had unknowingly become the sole survivor of the weirdest and most nerve-wracking kidnapping in the city. How did 4 kids vanish, yet only one remained in an apartment? Your answer that no one believed was the work of a demon from Hell
You tried convincing your and your friends’ parents that, even the police, none believed. All the while Alastor would watch from the shadows and laugh at your attempt. As you grew up, you learned that there was no use and the suvivor’s guilt changed to numbness and indifference. It was your friends’ idea to summon a demon and accept deals without question, so it was never your fault
Though surprisingly, Alastor had stayed by your side since that summoning. He’d pop up from time to time to offer a deal to you, only later on did he give it a break and the two of you got to know each other
When you were of age, you got curious and asked Alastor about your friends’ souls that were in his care. Alastor causally stated that they weren’t worth your time, though he answered, that they were turned to his many shadow minions that serve him. You had asked him kindly if you could see them for a while moments
The second you did, you scolded them and shouted at them. Not caring they couldn’t even react or say anything back. In the end, you dropped to your knees and cried, because deep down, you still missed them. They weren’t bad friends but that stunt they pulled was not worth losing them
Alastor comforted you in his own way until you got over it. “Smile, my dear! You’re never fully dressed without one!” 
You lost count of how many times he said that to you and you questioned it once, well, more like snapped at him that a smile was just a smile, nothing more. Then the moment after had to be one of those intimidating ones. A smile, in his opinion, is a weapon, lets the people around him and his enemies guessing and thinking that he has the upper hand
Still though, above all else, he was the only person that was constant around you, never changing and always by your side. To that you’re grateful for
The relationship between you two was labelled as beneficial. The first time you heard it, you thought he was waiting for you to mature and do things to you, his radio track scratched so hard glass could break. He immediately denies it and says he has no interest in the romantics or sexual side of things. No, he was interested in entertainment, dark ones that would sate his boredom, and that’s what you were to him
At least, until you find yourself a romantic partner
A dainty soul that you had a crush on from middle school. You’d talk to Alastor about them for hours with the shy blush you had whenever you mentioned encounters or moments between the two of you. Your interest grew when you were of aged, being more confident -thanks to your intimating demon friend- and talented.  You had already caught the eyes of other individuals, both men and women, you were just that good!
The radio glitch moment came again when you told the joyous news to Alastor
He had been patiently waiting your return home so the two of you could have that movie night to start off the weekends, something he loathed but managed because you were there. He thought you were in trouble since you were late, but he waited since if you were in danger, he’d know. While you didn’t sign a contract with him, he still protected and cared for you. You would have questioned if he didn’t always say, “Oh, the entertainment you provide. You’re also my gateway to Earth! The poor souls around you for the taking.”
He opened the door for you that night when he heard you dropping the keys, you thanked him quickly and got in, locking the door behind you. You were surprised he was here since you thought you had time to calm down from excitement! Oh well, now that he’s here, no harm done! He’d be happy for you, maybe even relieved, since you wouldn’t be treating him like your diary to rant
“Ohh!! Alastor! The best thing happened to me just now, well, not just now, just now, it’s more like after school.”
“Did someone die?”
You paused in your smile as you froze, “What? No! Gosh, no!” Your mood returned as you grabbed his clawed hands, cupping them as you got close to him, “I have a partner! Like those ones from the ‘picture show’, you know!? Oh, right, no touchy.” You let go as quickly as you held him, missing his outreached hand that tried to hold your hand again, he loved your warmth on his. You turned your back to him as you ranted on, “My crush, now, lover! It’s like those cheesy movies! This is the best day of my life!”
Didn’t you say the best day of your life was Alastor coming into your life? Alastor’s smile was more forced as he listened to you. He hid his hands behind his back, clenching them hard as voodoo symbols appeared around him, more and more as your attention was away from him
“Isn’t it all great?” You had turned around with the biggest smile, oblivious to the rage your demonic friend was hiding. “Oh, I should ask, how’s your situation with Mimzy? You guys a thing?”
Ah, that lie he told you. He wanted to learn more about your romantic preferences but disguised it as him asking for advice on how to woo a demon girl with modern taste. He honestly never even thought about expressing feelings, not after spending so much time with you
“A work in progress, my dear!” Alastor lied. He’d never love that demoness that only came to him when she was in trouble. Not like you, the good and the bad times, you’d go to him, share with him your thoughts, and he can talk his mind to you. It wasn’t like you could betray him with another demon, you weren’t even in Hell! So he felt more at ease with you
“That’s good to hear, I’d love for you to find your happiness since you’ve been helping me so much.” Your heartfelt words melt his dark heart. Just why did that crush of yours hold your heart instead of him? His thought paused as you let out a sigh of relief, “After all, you must have better things to do than visit me up here, without a contract and all that. I think I can handle things from here.”
Were you cutting him off? 
“I have a date tomorrow and I need to be super super ready! It’s a date with my crush now lover!” You hyped yourself up, “So we don’t need have movie night for tonight, or ever. No need to put you through torture, watching a picture box and all.”
Alastor’s silence was a sign of his rage and disbelief. He didn’t think it was torture, it was just masking his excitement to sitting beside you. How he could hold you close when the time pass, how he could feel your warmth beside him, how he could actually relax from his persona and facade
“Is the news too much for you?” You got in front of him, tilting your head. So cutely
“It’s late but, congratulations, my dear!” Alastor beamed, a clapping soundtrack played from his microphone cane. “I knew you would have any soul you wish with that personality of yours! Why, if you could convince a demon such as I to stay by your side without a contract, no one alive can resist your charm!”
“Flattering as always.” You laughed along. You were entirely oblivious to his growing jealousy and envy, and he wasn’t even from the Envy Ring! “You can go back to H-”
“You know what we should have? A feast in celebration of you, my dear, finding love!” Alastor interrupted when he sensed you trying to push him away. Not on his watch. “Now, while you take a nice long bath, I’ll prepare us a meal fit for the occasion!”
“Really?” You asked while Alastor was pushing you to your bedroom, “But you don’t have to.”
Alastor’s shadow twisted as he fought back the urge to scream at you, to take it back, don’t cut him off from your life. “I insist, what are friends for? It’s only fair that I, your long-time companion, share your joy in this delightful surprise.”
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Note: There's part 2 cause it was way too long. In the making so will be up later on~ Question, do you guys like fluff or angst or both?
〚Ծ_Ծ〛
Circe Y.
MASTERLIST
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tinycozycomfort · 5 months
Text
some quiet evenings
pairing: mike schmidt x f!reader
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summary: If he wasn’t so far away all the time, working and worrying and wracked with undeserving guilt, you’d disassemble him completely—down to the fucking marrow.
warnings/tags: no use of y/n, sub!mike, the tone? they're in love, underwear play, c*ck grinding, finger sucking, pet names (baby, honey, etc), the socks stay on, criminally gratuitous descriptions of how good-looking this man is
word count: 2k
rating: explicit! 18+ only, mdni
a/n: huge thank you to @cupofjoel for these amazing fics that were a direct contributor to me watching the movie (and then subsequently falling into a lore hole) and to @pascalisbaby for listening to me fumble my way through this!!
main masterlist
Mike is always tired when he gets home. 
Tired like the weight of his body is too much to bear, eyes wet and just-open like a seam that’s freshly split. He hangs at the end of his own rope, slumped on the line of his spine, damp across his brow as he sits and undresses at the corner of the bed. 
You don’t question him when he says it’s nothing, when he mumbles something about work being a lot of pressure and just needing to make it through the end of the week. For something so mundane—watching unwanted property—it seems off; still you kneel at his back to help him shrug off the lip of his vest and hoodie and creased t-shirt with nothing more than a sigh.
“Didn’t mean to put this on you. I know you work as much as I do—more, even,” his head lolls down towards his lap, fingers sweeping his face as he shrinks with guilt, “I just need to figure out some money for another babysitter so I can actually sleep and you can actually see me and—” 
“It’s okay. Don’t know how many times I’ll have to tell you before you believe me.” 
He works at the clasp of his pants before you can—another thing he feels the need to take responsibility for, right now—bending at the waist enough to pool them at his ankles, socked feet tapping the ground inside their halos. Nervous, like always, high-strung and erratic for reasons you can’t begin to pull out of him. 
“And everything with Abby, she just… I worry about her.” 
“She’s asleep down the hall. Got her to eat and everything. You need to worry about yourself, too, y’know.” You widen your thighs, straddling the base of his hips, left hand curling to cradle the strip of skin between his shoulder and neck. He’s warm there, too, tacky and tense when you tuck your pointer up against his jaw. “Look at me, Mike.” 
He refuses at first, pushing back against your guidance, reserve strong in the face of shame.
In return, you press harder into him, doubling down, dimpling the underside of his chin in an effort to halt his retreat.
“No,” he whispers, insistent. 
Something hot swirls in the core of your spine at his defiance, as small as it is loud, the corner of your lip tugging up in response. He can’t see you, hiding like this, but it’s like he can feel it, knocking a shoulder up to shield himself even more. 
He likes this game, you’ve realized—where you let him have his fit just to reel him back in, to prove to him he’s wrong. That special kind of attention to detail—the laborious care of taking the time to peel back his doubts to get to the tender meat of his heart, just to string up your favorite pieces of him as you go. Declarations is maybe the most correct way to put it; he likes to earn the kind of love he can hang on the fridge.
You lean in behind him, cheek brushing the hair at his temple, and his guise falters, body unfurling on instinct. What a sweet man he is, naked save for the rings of fabric on and at his feet, the thin veil of his boxers—the latter failing to hide his own interest. Opening for you like he needs to.
You drag your nose across his lobe, the flesh there raising in little welts, “You do know how much I worry about you, right? How much I want you to relax? Don’t you want that, too?” 
He swallows hard, wrist twisting in his lap—restraint, you think, or warning; Mike, ever-courteous, letting you know he’s reached his threshold, fizzing over the top. 
“What do you think I could do to make you feel better, honey?” You run the bend of your free hand along his inner thigh, chest flush to his back so you can reach the fold of his knee. 
Mike shudders, short puffs of air jutting out of his open mouth. The grip you have on his neck tilts, wrapping your thumb over the knob of his jaw, longer fingers spreading out so you can curve one between his lips. He licks at it, tongue soft where he sucks you in, skipping the gentle work-up to get to his favorite part—more tired than you thought, then.
“I don’t want to have to choose for you, but I will.” You rub the inside of his cheek like you can coax the words out, “C’mon.” 
“You could—I want, fuck. I want to be inside you.” 
The papery t-shirt clinging to your back stretches, looped material around your hips tacked down by the trickle of slick that seeps out at his words. You were ready for bed when he arrived,  more thankful than ever to have nothing else between you and his body, now that he’s ready for something else.
You drag your wandering hand across where he’s straining, hot and heavy, his only reaction a gentle tug of teeth on your knuckle, a too-deep inhale that inflates his chest. Mike’s hands sit limp where they’re glued to his thighs, waiting patiently for your next instruction, seeing if you’ve decided to grant him his request. 
It’s not until you wedge your hand free to toy at the waistband of his boxers that he sets into motion, raising off the sheets and letting you strip him of his last shred of modesty, just the slouched cuffs of his socks left clinging to him.
His cock is hard—angry—coming down on his stomach with a dull thud, a sticky pull of precome following in its wake. The muscle under his torso jumps at the impact like he forgot it was even there, too focused on what’s coming next, sold on the prospect of something better. 
You guide a leg down the slope of the bed, planting yourself on the floor by his side. He takes the hint, pushing himself higher up on the sheets and resting his weight on the flat of his elbows behind him, quick to obey.
You take your time climbing along him, bracketing him from the front this time so you can take in the full image of his want. He’s flushed across his cheeks, his neck—even the little reliefs in the skin under his eyes are touched by pink. Lips shining, hair clumped with wet at the root—he’s the kind of beautiful he doesn’t even know he’s capable of, sleepy and misty and shaky when you run your fingers against his jaw—still damp from his own mouth—marveling at the rounded edges that find their way in his angular face. 
If he wasn’t so far away all the time, working and worrying and wracked with undeserving guilt, you’d disassemble him completely—down to the fucking marrow. Clip him off at every joint just to piece him back together. 
“Pretty,” you mumble, mostly to yourself, but you know he hears it when he preens, eyes fluttering and chest squeezing tight in a long exhale.
You loop a thumb through the center of your underwear, swinging it out to fit his cock in with you, settling into his lap more firmly so that the split of your cunt presses against him. He’s trapped there, between your heat and his belly, the whine that slips out of him involuntary but solid. 
When you start to move, working up a rhythm, he spits out something like fuck, fuck yes and you nod to feign understanding.
“Oh, is this what you meant? You wanted to be inside here?” You rock into his hips with purpose, the thick shape of him rubbing at your clit like it’s all he was made for, like being inside you wouldn’t even be an idea if he couldn’t take care of you in every other way first. 
“No.” 
“First yes, now no? You have to make your mind up, baby. You’re not giving me enough to work with, here.”
“Yes. This is–yes.” 
He starts to meet you halfway without thinking, grinding up into the cradle of your body in search of a better way to communicate than words. 
“So you don’t want to fuck me?” 
Mike whines at that, the breakout of red reaching the very edges of his face, bleeding down into his collarbones. He regains some sense of his own body, then, hands fumbling up until they slot above the crease of your thigh, rubbing firmly at your hip bones. Pleading.
You tuck your knees into his side to help him along, ribs stinging where your efforts begin to hurt, happy anyway to push him closer to the edge. A thick lick of heat rises in your chest, the seat of your pelvis, flaring white when you watch him fight for something to say.
“I do—I did, I just. This is perfect. You’re perfect.” He’s panting in between each word, pressing himself to you to punctuate his point, “I’m going to come just like this, if you’ll let me.” 
It’s not so spelled out, but he is asking for permission—as he always does—and it sounds like an apology more than anything else. For being selfish, you know he’ll say; for taking his pleasure exactly like you’d asked him to.
You swipe at the curls that are starting to twist at the base of his neck, both for leverage so you can match his pace and to point out another facet of him that falls perfectly into your liking, the glide easier with how much you’ve coated him in that same favor. 
The hand you’d hooked into him earlier finds his lips again, slipping in with no resistance, passing harshly against his molars and tongue. 
Mike is eager to glean as much fondness as he can off the skin, closing his mouth and sucking fervently. 
“Go ahead, then. Said you needed to relax, didn’t I? We’ve got all morning.”
Something flashes in his eyes that reads horribly like but what about work?, as if now would be the time to worry over your schedule—as if anything could be more important than the way his cock swells in anticipation despite the thought. 
You redirect the anxiety, not wanting his orgasm to fall flat after all the convincing it took to lead him here, “You have all morning to make it up to me.”
His grip around your middle tightens, suffocatingly so, brows drawing tight, tilting his head so he can take in more of your fingers to slide his tongue against the underside of your palm as he comes in warm threads of slip. 
He makes a mess of your chests and the already soaked-through film of your underwear, legs shaking under you as he breathes his way down. 
You release yourself from him with a pop, squeezing lightly at his cheek as he cracks a meek smile. 
“Thank you,” he murmurs, freshly shy like he hadn’t been aware of what just occurred, so inside his mind he’d left his body, “I didn’t mean to not be able to, um—” 
“Fuck me?” 
He’s fully glowing by now, this time because of the weight of your accusation, loosening a little only when he sees you grinning back at him. You lean in, pecking at the corner of his mouth to not interrupt his irregular breaths, allowing him just a moment of error before appealing to the side of him that rids him of his nerves, “Get to it, then, if you’re so worried about it.”
518 notes · View notes
belovedmusings · 7 months
Text
“You have to trust me.”
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18+ Explicit Smut 🚫Minors DNI🚫
You and Satoru get into an argument before he heads off to face Sukuna. You worry for his safety since the incident of his sealing is still fresh in your mind, begging him to let the others help, but he insists he has to do it alone. Hot, emotional sex follows.
Relevant tags: AFAB reader w/minimal gendered language, reader with no defined characteristics for inclusivity and realism, angst, hurt/no comfort, before Ch 236, established relationship, unprotected sex, creampie, missionary/mating press, intentional baby making
Recommended songs to listen to while reading: Privilege (The Weeknd), lovely (Billie Eilish), Lo Vas Olvidar (Billie Eilish, ROSALIA)
A/N: I have a follow-up to this where he survives the fight so that you can have some comfort after this hurt. I’ll link it at the end :’) for now enjoy some angst.
Expand to read:
“Satoru, please,” your voice tapers off at the end, the ache in your heart stinging with its intensity. “Please, don’t do it alone. You can have help. Yuuta—”
“This isn’t his fight,” Satoru insists, “I don’t want to involve innocent kids in this if I can help it.”
“So you’re just gonna go off and get yourself killed instead?”
His brows furrow, eyes frozen on your face. His lips part in disbelief, and after a moment of being stunned, he laughs incredulously.
“Seriously?” He asks you, “Do you really think that lowly of me? You think I’m marching off to my death right now?! You think I’m some weak little twerp or something? That’s all I am to you?!”
As he raises his voice, you start to feel guilt rising up in your chest. You hadn’t meant to say it like that. Here he is, about to fight for the sake of the world and you’re belittling him and undermining his strength. You’re telling him you expect him to lose, even if that wasn’t your intention. You’re supposed to be his support pillar—he doesn’t just let anyone in.
The anger fizzles out of you like ice water on hot coals. Instantly, you feel cold.
“No, Satoru,” you shake your head, remorse bubbling up so violently tears spring to your eyes. This is the love of your life, the man who has been nothing but sweet, patient, and kind to you. Sure, back when things were normal, he used to tease and get on your nerves, he had to work a lot and his time was stretched thin as a result, but he always made time for you. He always thought of you, brought you your favorite treats from his missions, latched onto you when he came back because he missed you.
Apparently you started sobbing at some point while you thought about all of that, because the next thing you know, he’s wrapping his newly thickened arms around you and pulling you into his sturdy chest.
“I didn’t mean to yell at you,” his voice is subdued now, full of guilt. “I shouldn’t have raised my voice. It’s just that—”
“That’s not…” you sniffle, shaking your head as you try to find the strength to get a full sentence out in the midst of your break down. “I believe in you, Satoru, I do, I didn’t mean—didn’t mean to say that…”
He hugs you tighter, rubbing up and down your arm. You continue.
“I’m just so fucking scared, Satoru, I’m scared.”
More sobs wrack your body and he can only sigh heavily, trying to hold you as close to himself as he can.
“I don’t want to do this to you,” his voice is thin, like he’s trying hard to keep it even. “I hate that I can’t give you a normal, easy life with me.”
You huff, wrapping your arms around him. “That’s not…I wouldn’t trade what we have for the world, Satoru, for the world…”
“I just hate that this is causing you so much pain,” he replies. “I’m supposed to be taking it away, not making it worse. God, I really am the worst, aren’t I?”
You shake your head in disagreement, planting a kiss on his neck to protest his statement. His breath hitches, and the next moment, he’s raising your chin up with his index finger, ducking to connect your lips. You make a small noise in the back of your throat and kiss back, arms winding around his neck to draw him closer. You feel him hug your waist, and go willingly when he backs you up.
The backs of your legs meet the edge of his bed, the one that you’ve become so familiar with it’s more comfortable than your own at the place you rarely sleep anymore, and you realize that this might be the last chance you ever get to share it with him.
Another sob escapes you before you can stop it and you grab the collar of his shirt tightly, pulling him down with you. You fall onto the mattress, Satoru catching himself so he doesn’t crush you as he kisses you passionately.
You trail your palms down his chest, down his abdomen, over the tight black shirt he has on, then back up again just to feel him. Satoru is here right now, in your hands, on top of you—you need to cherish this while it lasts.
You break the kiss as your crying worsens, unable to stop lamenting the fact that you can’t freeze time in its place right now.
“Shh,” his sugary voice hushes you, “Shh, focus on me. I want this to feel good for you, okay? We can’t have you crying your way through it, silly, then you won’t remember a thing.”
You sniffle, trying to wipe at your eyes. “I don’t want to just r-remember you…I need you to be okay.”
“I am okay,” he says, pecking your brow bone sweetly. “I’m right here. Just feel me. Nothin’ else. Don’t even think right now, thinking’s not useful.”
You huff shakily, eyes fluttering shut as you feel his mouth go for your neck. He scrapes his teeth over your jugular to shock pleasure into your senses, successfully distracting some of the anguish right out of you.
“That’s it,” like this, his voice sounds almost like a purr, and you shiver, arms wrapping around his shoulders to grip at his back. He leaves a wet kiss where his teeth were and swipes his tongue over the spot, starting to suckle. You give him a soft noise in response, relishing in the fact that you know he’s leaving a mark on purpose. It’ll be there at least for a few days, or more if he really tries.
“Make it dark,” you breathe, “Give me as many as you can, please.”
“You don’t have to beg me,” he murmurs below your ear, sending heat pulsing downward. “I’ll give anything you want from me.”
You suck in a sharp breath. “Anything?”
At your eager question, he chuckles lowly, lifting himself up to meet your eyes. “Hmm. You have something specific in mind, don’t you?”
Your face heats up involuntarily, but the urgency of the situation has you forcing your bashfulness down. This might be the only time to ask. You had wanted to wait until the two of you were settled, maybe married if that’s what you agreed on, but now there might not be another moment. This could be it. And you know that if you don’t tell him what you want now and something happens, you’re going to regret it for the rest of your life.
With that thought, you take a deep breath and raise your hand to cup his face, brushing a few strands of his fringe away from his eyes.
“I want your baby, Satoru.”
You see the moment the words register in his brain. His eyes light up with something you’ve never seen before, and he smiles as if you just gave him the sweetest, most sincere compliment he’s ever heard.
“Yeah? A piece of me forever, huh?”
You nod, a grin tugging at your lips even as droplets continue to spill down your cheeks. “Yeah. Our love personified.”
He chuckles wetly and you think you see his eyes turn glossy, but he’s kissing you again before you can confirm it.
“It’s yours,” he says against your mouth. “All yours.”
You lose yourself in the long kiss that follows. All you can feel is him moving on top of you, tongue dancing with yours so intimately it would have the angels in the room blushing.
You raise your hips when he tugs at your pants, taking your underwear with them. He sits back on his haunches to slide them off your legs, eyes gentle as he gets between them and pushes his hands up underneath your shirt.
Sitting up quickly, you allow him to lift it off of you, discarding it behind himself. Now, you’re completely naked, but he’s still clothed.
“No fair,” you say, eyeing his shirt like it’s offensive, and he laughs.
“Say no more, say no more,” he replies, “Just lay down for me.”
Your stomach flutters with butterflies as you do as he tells you, looking up at him kneeling between your legs. You watch as he crosses his arms to peel his tight shirt off of his sculpted muscles, smooth, fair skin coming into view. He’d put a Greek god to shame, you think. He’s so tear-jerkingly beautiful it threatens madness in your mind.
“Like what you see?” He taunts mischievously, standing up to untie his pants and push those along with his boxers down his hips. His reddened erection springs free and you stare unabashedly at it, never having got used to the sight fully. He’s huge, both long and thick, all smooth skin except for a prominent vein on the underside. You used to joke with him early on in your relationship that it was the main reason for his cocky attitude, that you’d probably act the same way if you had a dick like that, and it always made him laugh. You love making him laugh. God, you love Satoru so much.
“Oh, you definitely like what you see now,” he snorts, climbing back onto the bed. “Gotta admit, it’s hot as hell to see you objectify me like that.”
“I wasn’t—”
“I’m nothing but a glorified sperm donor, mistress.”
You make an incredulous face. “What? I’m not—you don’t even—”
“Shh, I’m just teasin’,” he grins at you, leaning down to peck your lips. “I know you love me.”
You blow out a puff of air like a deflating balloon. “Satoru, I swear to god.”
He chuckles, shutting himself up by kissing you again. “That’s just how I show love.”
You chase his lips, hearing his words for the ‘I love you’ they truly are, threading your hands in his hair.
His big palms find your hips and he centers them for himself, lining up and grinding his stiff member against your wet core.
“Mmh,” you moan, moving with him, “Satoru…”
He sighs shakily, grabbing the crook of your knee to push it up, giving himself more room to move. His grinds become more forceful and it has you stuttering little gasps, nails digging into his back.
“Already scratchin’ me up?” He asks, and you can hear the smirk in his voice. “But I haven’t even put it in yet.”
The laugh you reply with is half-assed, need distracting you, and you find his eyes. “What’s stopping you?”
“Oh? Someone’s impatient,” he chuckles, stamping a kiss to your nose. “All right, all right. Better give you what you want.”
He takes ahold of himself and lines up, breathing a heavy sigh as he sinks into you. As soon as he does, you make a noise in the back of your throat, hugging him closer to you. As he bottoms out, you can’t help but press more chaste kisses wherever you can on him—his cheek, his jaw, his neck, his collarbone. You just love him. You love the feeling of his body on top of yours, the warm weight unique to him, how he fills your arms up, tangible and strong. You breathe in deeply, the sweet musk of his skin filling your senses. It’s your favorite scent in the entire world.
He pulls back and rocks forward again slowly, taking care to get you used to his size. So much has happened lately that you haven’t been able to get intimate a lot, so you have to let him ease you back into it.
As he works you open on his cock slowly, you take to caressing the smooth skin of his back, eyes closed to revel in the sound of his heavy breaths, strained with the effort to control his movements so as not to hurt you. You love how solid he is under your palms. You could touch him forever. If he survives this fight, you swear that you’ll never let go of him again. You plead mentally with any deity that may hear you to protect Satoru.
You kiss the soft underside of his chin and hold him closer, holding onto that thought. Protect him. Keep him safe. Keep him alive. I love this man so much, just please don’t take him away from me.
He chooses that moment to start picking up the pace, the dull ache it gives you enough to thankfully keep you from spiraling further. You sigh, bending your knees further to give him more room. Your legs then wrap around him, ankles crossing at the base of his spine, and he responds by going faster. The room begins to fill with the sound of your bodies meeting over and over, his length molding you to his shape with every push of his hips into yours.
On a particularly hard thrust, you gasp, tightening around him, and it causes him to groan right after you. His voice is so sweet. It was one of the things that stood out to you about him when you had first met him—the way he always seemed to have perfect control over it. He speaks with ebbs and flows to contour the meanings of his words, to give them his special nuance that perfectly colors in his personality. He’s just so animated when he speaks. If he’s annoyed, you’ll hear it. If he’s playful, you’ll hear it. If he’s happy, you’ll hear it.
Right now, as he works through stuttered breaths and hitched moans, delivered exhales of your name weaved into declarations of his bliss, you hear the pleasure you’re giving him. That control starts to slip and words start tumbling from his lips, voice thin and shaky, a tone reserved just for you.
You turn your head to lay a kiss on his lips, landing on the corner of his mouth, but he understands what you need, sweeping you into a languid, passionate make out session as he rocks in and out of you. You hear him make a sort of wet noise before he doubles down on his efforts, pushing deep inside of you and starting to roll his body.
“Satoru,” you hiss in surprise, mouth falling open as his abdomen grinds against the sensitive bud above the place he’s buried inside of, heightening the goosebumps that break out on your skin. Your head falls back and he takes the opportunity to start making as many marks on your skin as he can with his mouth. Like this, you feel yourself getting close, and that has you remembering what comes after this.
He’s going to leave, and he might not come back.
This might be the last time you ever get to have him.
“I love you,” you say, just needing to get the words out, needing him to know. “You’re so important to me—thank you for everything, Satoru.”
His breath catches in his throat and he finds your gaze, reaching up to cup your jaw in his palm.
“Thank you for everything,” He replies sincerely. “Thank you for loving me. For dealing with all my bullshit and sticking by me.”
“Always,” you shake your head, eyes filling with new tears. You sniffle, feeling that choked desperation start seizing your chest again. “Always, Satoru.”
He smiles at you but it doesn’t reach his eyes. Those beautiful luminescent oceans only reflect the deep sadness the both of you feel, and to see it glaringly obvious in his gaze breaks your heart. He can’t fake his happiness this time, not even for you. He’s human too, and being here with you like this in what might be the last time threatens to undo him.
Satoru swallows thickly and concentrates on his movements to distract himself, forcing himself to focus on the noises you make as he brings you closer and closer to the edge. He wants this to last forever just like you do, but you both know he’s needed by more people than just you.
Your climax approaches and with it, your emotions swell up inside of you. You remember meeting him for the first time, you remember when he started pursuing you, how happy he was when you agreed to a date, how hard he’d tried to win you over yet how effortless he made it look. Every time you two shared a laugh, every time he was there while you cried, how he always managed to put a smile back on your face. How sweet of a man he is to his students, how proud you can tell he is whenever he talks about them, and how his eyes light up whenever he eats a treat he’s fond of. God, you just love him.
“Satoru,” you whimper, orgasm hitting you abruptly. “Oh god, I love you so much.”
He exhales forcefully as he feels it, managing a few sloppy thrusts before he’s cumming as well pushing as deep as he can go in effort to fulfill your earlier request.
As you start to come down, the fear and despair come back tenfold, overtaking you in a fit of sobs. He wraps his arms around you and buries his nose in your hair.
“I’ll win,” He whispers to you, “I will. I’ll come back and we’ll raise the little shit we just made together, okay? They’ll probably grow up like me but I hope they’re more like you, baby.”
You hiccup loudly as you cry harder, clinging to the image of a happy family with him for dear life.
“It’s gonna be okay. You have to trust me,” He insists, inhaling slowly. “I have to go now.”
You hold him tighter, squeezing your eyes shut to commit this to memory before he’s pulling away, lifting himself off of you and grabbing his clothes quickly.
He dresses in silence, your cries the only thing echoing around the room. All you can manage to do is put on one of his button-ups from the foot of his bed, wiping furiously at your eyes.
Too soon, he’s clothed again, and it’s time for him to go.
He walks over to you again and takes your chin gently in his hand, tilting it up so that your eyes connect. He smiles softly at you.
“You know that I love you, right?”
A deep ache seats into your chest. He’s said it in a million ways before but never in its original form, those simple, crater-heavy three words. You nod, sniffling as another wave of lament threatens to pull you under.
“I do,” you confirm, forcing it out in a strained voice. He nods to himself, leaning in and pressing his soft lips to your forehead.
You feel the moment that he uses his technique to flash himself out of the room, because his warm presence that naturally takes up a lot of space vanishes and leaves absolutely everything feeling cold and sterile.
You break down again, head falling into your hands.
Shoko had told you where everyone would be watching the fight take place. You want to be there, and you will go, but you need to be alone first.
You just hope with all of your might that you won’t be left alone with only a piece of him to succeed his legacy. You want him to be there too. You need him to be there.
You need him to be okay.
—-
A/N: i gave myself an ouchie on the heart while writing this. whoops. also wow is he gorgeous in that picture at the top?? anyways here’s the second part where he survives bc i should be gege instead so he’ll be okay :-)
685 notes · View notes
ilovetopgunsstuff · 11 days
Text
overdue
joe burrow x reader
prompt: joe cancels last minute on you because he got caught up at work, and he makes sure you know how he feels about you when he gets home.
warnings- smut and fluff
a/n- promise i will be answering some of my requests soon. this is prolly ass because i wrote it kinda fast but i love it thx bye
Joe was a busy guy. It was always something. He had practice, or a meeting, or a conference call, or something. Of course you couldn’t blame him. He was pretty busy during the season, but was practically glued to you when he didn’t have anything to do.
The last few weeks, though, Joe was sooo caught up with work. When he got home for the night, it was so late that you were usually already asleep. If you weren’t, you knew he was too exhausted to do much anyway. He’d give you a kiss, head to the shower, and pass out next to you shortly after. He’d always apologize, but you knew he really couldn’t control it. So despite your frustration and loneliness, you said nothing.
Today would be different, he pulled some strings to get home around 8 so y’all could have dinner, watch something on TV, and enjoy each others company. It had felt so long since you did something like this, so it felt like a special occasion. Tonight, you were cooking his favorite meal. You grilled chicken, made potatoes, and sautéed asparagus. It was about 7:30, and you would be done right when he got home. Your phone rang, and seeing his name on the screen, you perked up.
“Hey!,” you said cheerfully into the phone.
“Hey…” His voice was soft and already apologetic. You knew the news before he even told you.
“You’re not gonna make it home?” you sighed into the phone. Your voice was almost a whisper. You wanted to cry. How was it every day that this happened? Was he doing it on purpose, trying to send a hint? Was something else going on than work? Tears already brimmed in your eyes.
“I’m so sorry. Something came up way last minute. I can’t make it, baby. I’ll be home late.”
“Okay.” Your voice cracked, and you knew he heard it. That’s all you could say. The silence on the line was so loud. What else did you have to say? You sat with your phone to your ear, the excitement in your posture leaving you. Your shoulders slouched and you could hear his breath still on the other line. Self-consciousness swallowed you. Was this a sign that it wasn’t working? Was it only a matter of time? “Well I guess I’ll see you later tonight.” Your voice was quiet.
“Yeah.”
Without any goodbyes or anything, the line disconnected. You weren’t sure who it really was that hung up. You were just in a haze. You finished dinner silently, eating alone standing at the counter. You made sure to still make Joe’s plate, though. You put the perfect amount of everything he liked on his plate, making sure no foods were touching like he liked it.
Maybe it would give him a small surprise when he got home, as he didn’t know you were cooking it. He could eat it when he got home and you were inevitably sleeping. It wouldn’t be as good as eating it with him, but hopefully he’d still like it.
You packed up the food to put on the fridge in a silent, melancholy state. You placed his plate on the oven for him to find when he got home. It was in the shower that you cried, shoulders wracking with heavy sobs of loneliness and fear of losing him. You were so frustrated. You couldn’t blame him, but that didn’t mean you weren’t still upset. You sunk into the soft sheets of the bed after putting on pajamas, slightly cold without his body next to you. Hot tears slid down your face silently as you dozed off.
Joe’s POV:
As silently as I could, I unlocked the door. I dropped my bags on the floor and the clock on the kitchen wall said it was 1 AM. I stretched and rubbed my eyes, exhausted from work and weighed down with guilt. Of course I couldn’t control being busy, but i shouldn’t have promised her that I would’ve been home if I wasn’t completely sure. I did, though, cause hearing her pretty excited voice on the phone after telling her I’d come home brought me to life, but hearing it get quiet after I called it off earlier made my chest hurt. It was dark in the house except for one light on in the kitchen. It was the light on top of the oven. There was something there.
I walked closer to the oven and my heart dropped to my stomach.
Fuck.
There, on top of the oven, was my absolute favorite meal, made by her. You could tell she plated it with care, the food not touching exactly how I liked it. My stomach hurt and so did my chest. Guilt surged through me painfully. There was a note too, and it made me want to quit my job entirely.
I’m sorry you couldn’t make it home. This is for you if you’re hungry. I love you so much. We’ll find the time.
Her pretty cursive carved my heart out with its sweetness. You wished she would just yell at you, tell you off for taking on too much and upsetting her. But she never would, cause she’s an angel, and supports me through whatever I do. How will I ever make this up to her?
Regular POV:
Joe crept up the stairs, trying not to wake you up. You had an ear for him though, and roused when the door creaked open.
“Oh hey,” you mumbled at him. “How was work?”
“Don’t worry about that,” he murmured. He stripped down to his boxers, and crawled into bed. He dragged you under him and engulfed you with his arms. “I’m so so sorry,” he said into your hair.
This sudden intimacy and affection was unexpected, and your eyes immediately watered with tears. “I’m sorry, Joe. I know your so tired and I don’t want you to feel bad.” You voice cracked to a whisper as you started to cry.
“Hey..” he said gently as he flipped you on top of him to look at you. You sat on his lap, tears streaming down your face in the moonlight from the window.
“I just miss you,” you breathed, crumpling onto him as he held you. Your body shook slightly with quiet sobs as he held you.
“I know, angel.” He rubbed your back and whispered on your ear. “I miss you so much. You know I love you more than anything don’t you? Huh?”
He grabbed your face, holding it gently with both hands as he looked at you. Your watery puppy eyes looked up at him, and his heart tugged. He wanted you to know that you really were his priority.
“I have been a very bad boyfriend. I’m so so sorry,” his blue eyes looked earnestly into yours as his blond hair messily fell in his eyes. “I don’t want you to think I’m doing this for no reason. I know we can get through this. I’m working like this because I want you to be able to have whatever the fuck you want every time you want it. You deserve it. I know it’s so hard. I’m really trying for us. And I want you to know it’s all because of you. “
It felt like you were melting into him.
“This is for you, and you only. If for one second I thought I’d lose you over this, I’d leave in a heartbeat. You have been a saint about this whole thing. Please just give me a little more time. Don’t give up on me. I love you so so much.”
Your hiccuping sighs were all that was left as you stared up at him. “I would never give up on you. I love you.” You relaxed fully on to him, cherishing what he feels like to touch and smell and experience.
It didn’t matter where you were, or what time it was, or what was happening around you. He was the only thing you could focus on or care about.
He pulled you in and kissed you gently. Running his hands across your middle, seemingly trying to memorize everything. He went under your shirt and cupped your breasts, lowering his kissing to your neck. He removed his hands from your shirt and placed them on your hips, which he firmly gripped as you lazily grinded on him. Small whimpers escaped his mouth as you did this, encouraging you in your lovesick state.
Joe gently unbuttoned your pajama shirt, the silk material sliding down your body slowly when he undid the last one. He caressed you gently, in no rush to savor you.
“So beautiful,” he whispered into the cool air of your bedroom.
You couldn’t respond as you focused in on his gentle touches. You were so honed in on how lightly he caressed you, afraid that if you didn’t savor it, you’d miss them. Small, quiet moans escaped your lips in ecstasy. You sat up to drag his boxers down his soft skin to where they didn’t limit your contact with him at all. You sat up, shorts still on, and ran your hand across his length, honing in on his tip. You massaged him, and his head lolled back onto the pillows.
“Yes,” he whispered.
The slowness of both of your actions was torturous and incredible at the same time. Endless touches and whispers disappearing into a night that was only your own. You slid down your shorts, anxious to finally have him. Joe looked angelic, soft tan skin glowing in the twilight. The blue of his needy eyes was nearly palpable. His roaming hands never stopped for a second. You lowered your self onto him slowly, a gasp being released by the both of you when you finally reached his hilt.
He pulled you into him, wrapping both arms tightly around you on top of him. He thrusted up into you, allowing you to remember every inch. Neither of you spoke, though you doubted either had the ability at the moment to form words. Your breathy moans filled the room, pleasure mixing together as you clung to him and he clung to you. The air was thick with need. For eachother, for touch, for everything.
Everything seemed to morph together despite the slow pace. It had been so long since Joe could show you how much he loved you, and god were you overdue. Finally, his thorough thrusts quickened slightly as he came. Your nails left trails down his back as you reached your high. All you both could do was cling on to each other, repeated “I love you’s” said into the air.
The work was worth it for him, so worth it.
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selfindulgentpixies · 17 days
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Aventurine x GN!reader
Only you
MDNI! Seriously if you're a minor or ageless blog and you interact with this post i will block you.
Showing your trust in Aventurine you allow him to shave you where you're most sensitive. Yes it's a shaving fic that turns into s mut. I was entirely overtaken by this idea for some reason this morning that I don't even understand and spent half the morning writing and editing it.
Cw: GN! AFAB! Reader. (writer is nonbinary transmasc leaning), there's a razor used for shaving.
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To say you felt exposed would be an understatement. Here you sat legs spread, with your butt on a towel and your back propped up against pillows so expensive you dare not even consider their price for more than a moment.  Before you is Aventurine, setting up a little work station of sorts, two bowls of water, a container of shaving cream, elegant razor, unimaginably soft towels and a container of coconut oil for the end. He hums softly beneath his breath a song you don’t recognize. 
His eyes flick to yours and he smiles before pressing a kiss to your knee. “Nervous?” 
“Wouldn’t you be? There’s about to be a very sharp object pressed against a very delicate part of my body,” you say with a furrowed brow, though some of your tension leaves you with the feeling of his soft lips pressed against your knee.
“Do you trust me?”
“Oh I trust you, you better believe I wouldn’t be in this position for someone I didn’t trust with my life. Honestly more than that.” 
“Good,” he breathes out before pulling away from your knee. “Just relax, I’ll take good care of you, I promise.” and really you didn’t doubt that. It was still nerve wracking though. 
You watch him froth up the shaving cream with the brush before he moves further between your legs and begin to paint it onto your  outer labia and you can’t help the small twitch of your hips which is followed by a small sound of disapproval from him. “Sorry. It’s.. ticklish is all.” There’s a pause before you speak again. “I didn’t think you minded the hair.” He blinks up at you, eyes hypnotic as always yet a little surprised. “No no, it’s not- it’s not about that. I don’t mind it.” He sets aside the brush and shaving cream once satisfied and places his hands on your inner thighs, rubbing circles with his thumbs into the flesh there. “I just wanted to-” he seems to struggle to say what he wants to and your mind goes back to his earlier question. 
“It’s about trust?”
His eyes flick away from yours in what you assume is guilt before he answers quietly. “You could say that.” 
Leaning back into the pillows you try to relax. “Okay.” 
“Okay?”
“I already said I trusted you, if this will help you believe it then I don’t mind.” You resist the urge to tack on a ‘just be careful.’ since you figure he already knows that. 
A hint of a smile curves his lips and he dips the razor in water with his dominant hand while his other pulls your skin taunt where he wishes to begin. You take in a sharp breath at the first gentle glide of the blade over your skin though he doesn’t even glance up at you this time. He’s completely focused on his task even as he coos out a gentle, “Just relax for me, pretty, yeah like that.” A peek of pink as he wets his lips, a reminder of what he’d normally be doing between your legs causes a coil of heat to start low in your belly.
 Time passes slowly, the soft sound of the razor gliding over your flesh, the splash of water as he cleans off the blade between each swipe and his gentle words of praise. It’s not until he gently parts your folds that you take in a sharp breath. He can’t help but smirk at your clear arousal gathered there. He pauses and shuffles himself to lay on his stomach before moving to press another kiss to you, this time to the soft skin of your inner thigh just beside the apex of your thighs. “We’re almost done,” He reassures you before pulling back to focus on his task. 
It takes all your willpower to remain perfectly still as the razor glides over what is truly the most delicate part of you. And once he finishes you release a sigh of relief. He flashes you a little grin as he puts aside the razor and bowl of dirtied water. Grabbing a clean towel which he wets in the clean bowl of water he gently cleans you up. Each swipe of the soft cloth reverent. It’s when he sets that aside and begins to warm a small amount of coconut oil between his palms he speaks again 
“Thank you for trusting me,” His voice soft, no trace of his usual ego to be found. He cups your sex on either side and begins to gently massage the oil into your skin. “You did really well for me.”  He punctuates his words by leaning forward on his elbows to press a kiss to your noticeably swollen clit.
Your breath stutters in your chest and you finally buck your hips into his touch, causing him to chuckle against you. Continuing to massage your soft and now smooth flesh he pulls back just enough to look up at you, knowing full well the effect his eyes have on you. 
The heat in your face that had slowly faded through the process flares up again. It’s then, while finally really looking at him you notice what he’d done. He hadn’t shaved you bald, no he’d shaved your hair into the shape of a heart.  “Really?” 
This earns you a confused look until he follows your gaze to the cheeky heart. “Oh i know you think it’s cute. Besides I did say getting rid of the hair wasn’t the point.” He ceases massaging you and parts your folds with his thumbs before leaning in to drag his tongue nearly from asshole up to your clit, curling his tongue around it and pressing back the hood. You can’t even respond to his words, instead a moan climbs up from your chest and falls past your pretty lips that have dropped into a small O. He pulls the bud into his mouth, gently suckling at it, his eyes never leaving your face even as he dips the index and middle finger of his dominant hand into your eager hole. And it is eager, so wet for him already. Soaked even, as it sucks his fingers in. He gives an appreciative hum. 
You whine and your legs wrap around him with your heels finding purchase between his shoulder blades. He just knows if he could see them your toes would be curled. He twists his fingers just right and you buck your hips again making him chuckle sending vibrations through your clit.
“A-aven!” Your fingers grip tightly at the sheets only for him to reach up to take one of your hands in his, lacing your fingers together. He releases your clit with a pop. 
“Feel that good, pretty baby?” And you could swear his voice drips with honey even as he pulls his fingers from your wet heat so he can support himself as he leans up to kiss you. He tastes like coconut and a mixture of the two of you. It’s different but good as his tongue slips into your mouth, the wet muscle sliding over your own until you suck on it, pulling a pretty moan from him this time. 
When you finally part and he pulls away fully, your fingers unlinking you can’t help but whine. 
He laughs. “Be patient, I gotta clear off the bed, unless you want to be fucking in a puddle of shaving cream and water?” By the way your face scrunches up he has his answer. He leans forward again and gives your nose a quick peck. “That’s what I thought.” With that he quickly sets to clearing the bed of all the shaving supplies. 
While you wait for him you can’t help but slide a hand between your legs, letting yourself feel the soft, bare skin before sliding between your folds that are slicked both with your arousal and Aventurine’s saliva. You tip your head back and close your eyes. 
A hum catches your attention. “Continuing without me? I’m hurt.” Your eyes flutter open to catch him undoing the one flimsy button he’d had done up on his sleep shirt before pushing the fabric off to fall to the floor. Eyes following the planes of his body to land on where he hooks his thumbs into his sleep pants. His erection presses against fabric leaving nothing to the imagination. 
“Just admiring your handiwork, Aven~” you say as you dip your fingers into yourself, letting your legs fall further apart for him to watch. “Mhm, sure.” There’s a playful gleam to his eyes as he pulls his pants down, finally giving you the delicious full view of him before he crawls onto the bed. He takes  the wrist of your hand you’re currently pleasuring yourself  and brings it to his mouth before pulling your glistening fingers into his mouth. His pretty pink tongue coming into view as it slides around your fingers. 
“F-fuck Aven, are your trying to kill me?” your question causes him to giggle around your fingers.
He releases your fingers and shuffles up between your spread legs. “There are much easier ways to kill you and I’m not inclined to do any of them.” He rests his cock on your swollen folds, admiring the sight. “Fuck I just want to make you feel good.” He rocks his hips just watching his cock slowly get coated in your arousal. “Will you let me?”
Somehow he already looks wrecked, flushed from his chest to his cheeks, with his pupils blown wide only leaving two small rings of color. You want to devour him but this time it’s his turn to take you. “Of course, you’ve already done such a good job,” You coo at him and watch as a shiver goes through him at the praise before he presses the head of his cock to your entrance. 
“Gonna make you feel so fucking good~” he moans as your heat welcomes him. “Ahaha,” A weak laugh. “You’re already so fucking wet. Did it really get you going that bad to have me shaving you? Was it the thrill of it?”
“Oh shush you” lean up to wrap your arms around his neck, pressing a quick kiss against his mouth before speaking against him. “Maybe it’s just the fact that it was you taking care of me?” His hips jerk against your own, drawing a whine from him. 
“Yeah? ‘M that special?” 
“So Special that you’re the only person who I’d ever let even try that.” And you yelp as he suddenly pushes you down so he can lean over you and rut his hips against yours. “F-fuuuck, Aven!” One of your hands splays out over his shoulders while the other slides up his neck so you can sink your fingers into his hair. 
He grinds into you, the hair at the base of his cock rubbing against your clit. Aventurine tucks his face into the crook of your neck, sucking at the flesh there through his own moans and whines while your moans bounce off the walls of the room. His fingers twist in the fabric of the pillows on either side of your head, his pace quickening by the minute he feels your walls pulse begin to tighten around him. Your whines keening higher as he stops abusing the flesh of your neck and pulls back from your grasp so he can take hold of your hips, squeezing the soft flesh. “Almost there? So am I, so am I- J-just,” he punctuates his words by thrusting into you faster, rocking both you and the bed. “I’m almost- cum cum cum for me, sweet heart!” He chants desperately, wanting to do good for you, not wanting to leave you wanting by coming undone first. One of his hands releases its grip on your hips and goes to your straining clit, massaging the bundle of nerves. Aventurine feels it before he hears you cry out, feels your walls spasm around him and the spray of your release gushing around him causing him to topple over the edge. He falls forward as he coats your walls in sticky white, just barely catching himself on his forearms before curling around you, holding you tight in an embrace that you return. Both of you shudder through your release.
The room is quiet aside from your shared heavy breathing for several minutes, the two of you simply basking in the after glow while aventurine’s softening cock remains nestled inside of you. It’s your gentle kisses pressed to his sweaty hairline that finally bring the two you back to the world. When his eyes find yours you smile at him, bliss written over your entire expression. “Hey there, gorgeous.” 
He snorts and pinches your side making you yelp and causing your expression to fall into a pout. “Aren’t I supposed to be the smooth talker?”
“What I’m not allowed to call you gorgeous?” 
“Sounds cheesy coming from you.”
You gasp in what is maybe mock indignation. “Well I think you deserve someone being cheesy over you.” Your smile creeps back onto your face and you catch him returning it with one of his own before he hides his face in your neck. 
“I guess you’re allowed to be a little cheesy.” And he kisses your jaw.
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Banner is from official art and dividers were made by @kaeyaphile
Hope you guys enjoyed and that this is at least someone's brand of spicy. I just have severe brain rot over aventurine right now.
I am still planning on writing a fic where you top him. I write reader and Aven to both be switches.
tag list: @bad-as-the-boys @pastelle-rabbit @zorosdimples @fushigurro @likelilacwine @kweenkatsuki-fics @decaydaddy @likelilacwine
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sakuraluck · 25 days
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lol confirmation that ivan didn’t see till hesitated before running back. do you think he would have died so willingly if he knew that there was a chance that till could’ve chosen him?
ivan’s the kind of guy to pine over someone for two decades with full knowledge that his feelings won’t be reciprocated. if he knew that till had hesitated back then, do you think he would’ve made a second attempt to escape before/during this round?
maybe… now that mizi’s out of the way…
that kind of thought?
do you think that kind of hope would’ve motivate him to try harder to live? knowing that somewhere in till’s heart, ivan had a space there too. and that if he died, he would also be giving him trauma like sua to mizi?
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do you think till knew ivan smiled at him so gently and achingly soft before he died? that he let go of till of his own volition and not because he lost strength? or does he think ivan wanted to kill him at the end?
when he opened his eyes and saw ivan falling, do you think ivan’s smile confused him?
do you think he’ll be wracked with survivor’s guilt after this as well? wishing ivan had finished what he started and killed him. do you think till will realize how much ivan loved him even till the end or will he think that even the one person who cared for him eventually hated him?
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milswrites · 2 months
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We can't be friends
Cassian X Reader
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Summary: Cassian had been distant. While he was still physically present around you, it was easy to see his mind was elsewhere. When you learn of the reason why this rift has appeared between you, you must make the difficult decision to step away from the man you once loved.
Warnings: Angsttttt
Notes: We've had our Rhysand breakup angst, it’s now time for Cassian's!!! Anyone else had Ariana Grande’s new album on their mind like 24/7? Stole the name from her song lol.
Cassian’s mind was wandering again. You could see it. Able to tell that he wasn’t mentally present by his blank expression and misty absent-minded gaze. His usually bright hazel eyes bore a dull film, as if someone had draped a cloudy vail over them.
You needn’t ask him what he was thinking of. Who he was thinking of. It had been clear enough to you that his thoughts had been occupied by the eldest Acheron sister from the moment he had met her in the mortal realm.
He would deny it of course, every time you brought the topic up with him he would spit some venomous comment about her poor attitude and the lack of love she held for her younger sister.
But you needn’t be a seer to observe what was going on here. It was as through fate that you had been cruelly blessed with the ability to see the golden thread which tied him to the woman.
Whether Nesta was oblivious to the bond or was just opting to ignore it you did not know. But you were sure Cassian knew. In fact you had never been more positive of anything in your life.
What you couldn’t understand was why would Cassian go about his life as though the bond wasn’t there? Why, at the end of each night, would he come back to your chambers to warm your bed?
The male continuing to crawl into your sheets after a long days work, whispering sweet nothings into your ears as he cradled you to sleep, acting as though nothing was different. As though you couldn’t feel the grating presence of the bond.
Most nights you stayed awake as the man slept beside you. Your miserable eyes trailing along the length of the golden cord, following the string as it wound its way out of your room. No doubt if you followed it’s path you would end up right outside the door of Nesta’s flat.
So why was Cassian still drifting you along even though he had met his mate? And how much longer would you have to wait before the inevitable occurred?
These thoughts had plagued your mind for the past few weeks. Eating away at you as they slowly stole your happiness. Instead, an odd feeling of guilt wracked your body. The evil whisper of your conscience telling you that you were the third-wheel. The one thing stopping Cassian from being with his mate. That you should do the noble thing and end your relationship. That it was what he would want.
You defensively hiss back at your demons whenever they took a hold of your mind, reassuring yourself that Cassian loved you. That he still chose to warm your bed every night. Silently hoping that the only reason he hadn’t told you about the bond was because he didn’t want to worry you. That he didn’t want you to question the unwavering affection he held for you.
And yet you always found yourself back here.
In the company of the male whose mind was in another place. With another person. Finding yourself once more having a one sided conversation with yourself. Cassian only occasionally offering up a small grunt of acknowledgement.
His glazed eyes which stayed locked on your form, no doubt imagining a different view. A picture of the woman he was dreaming about. A woman that wasn’t you.
It began to feel like there was a ghost in your relationship. Only you couldn’t figure out whether it was you or Cassian.
Cassian who had become a shell of the man he had once been around you.
Or you, who now struggled to be both heard and seen by the man you had devoted the last three centuries of your life to.
The once overwhelming surge of radiating joy had dimmed. A candle, struggling to stay alight as it consumed the last dregs of fuel from the wick. The flame between the two of you now fading into a dull flicker.
Your heart no longer skipped a beat whenever you saw the male. Instead it weighed heavy in your chest, as if clamped by a strong metal hand, choking the last remnants of happiness from your soul, flooding your body with a terrible sense of dread.
This wasn’t the way you wanted to live.
You knew that much. You were smart enough to know that you didn’t want to be the second option. The afterthought, even though you had known the male longer, had loved him for longer.
Therefore you knew what had to be done. Yet after sharing three hundred joyous years with the male you couldn’t be blamed for struggling to find the strength to do it.
~~~~~
But you could feel it now. The strength seeping into your body, fighting to share the room alongside your agony and grief. Mourning your relationship before it has even come to a close.
It was hard to ignore the way your hands had begun to shake. Nor the drying of your throat as you blurted out the words before you could stop yourself and cowardly continue on with the relationship which had began to drain you of the last of your happiness.
“We need to talk.”
The words came out thick and heavy. The change in the tone of your voice from your monotonous dialogue to this statement being enough to capture Cassian’s attention. The absent clouds drifting from his eyes until your determined ones were met with his hazel orbs.
“I thought we were talking?”
The male gulped as he spoke, clearly feeling the unsettling aura which filled the room. All your years together being enough for Cassian to know the gravity of what you were about to say.
“Why are you still here Cas? With me?”
“W-what?” He stuttered in answer, your eyes searching his as you tried to distinguish whether he knew what it was you were talking about. Fear building in your chest at the realisation you were going to have to say it yourself before this conversation led to nothing.
“Nesta, Cassian. The bond.”
He didn’t know. All this time he had been unaware of your silent heartbreak. You saw the truth of it in the way his face dropped, the extinguishing of the spark in his eyes.
“How long?” He gulped, guilt crossing his expression as he forced the words out. His cheeks flushing in shame that he hadn’t been the one to tell you.
“Weeks? Months? Long enough to question why you’re still with me.”
Cassian didn’t know what to say. He started at you with a crushing remorse, the glint of love in his eyes doing nothing to reduce your pain.
“I’m not a fool Cas,” you smiled sadly at your own unfortunate situation, his name catching in your throat as you reached your hand forwards to lay atop of his, “you want to be with her, I know that.”
A pained look flashed across his face, his eyes burning with self-hatred failing to meet yours in his regret. You allowed him the time for his emotions to settle, sitting in silence as you continued to grip his hand.
Eventually, once his flood of shame subsided, Cassian found the words to speak, “All I’ve ever known is you. All I’ve ever loved. I’ve never known anything else.”
“I know Cas” you flinched at the earnesty which laced his words. Cassian had never given you any reason to believe he didn’t love you. Even now, when his heart was calling to another, you still felt the outpouring of love from his soul.
“It’s not fair,” he grit through his teeth angrily, “you’ve done nothing wrong. It’s me. I’m the one who can’t control my feelings, my thoughts which dream of another. You don’t deserve this.”
“I don’t” you said simply. Your face remaining blank as tears began to fall down the males cheeks. You have had months to cry about your lost love, there would be no more tears shed by you. Not now, not when your well had run dry.
“We can still be friends though right? You’ve been in my life for so long I can’t imagine it without you” he choked the words out as if he wasn’t the one who had already ended things between you. He never had to say the words to you, his actions and his heart did all the talking for him.
“No Cas,” you shake your head solemnly, “we can’t be friends.”
The male looked to you in shock, his eyes blowing wide as he took in the force of your words. What this would mean for the two of you, for your future together. Or lack thereof.
“It’s not fair Cas,” you reason, giving his hands a gentle squeeze, emotions still holding firm in the face of adversity, “not to me and not to Nesta. We both know what needs to be done. We both have for a while.”
“But I love you” he fights your calm demeanour, his watery eyes staring into yours with an intensity, begging you to take back the words you were saying.
“We can’t go back to being us Cas, it’s too late for that. The damage has been done,” you lift your free hand to settle against his cheek, thumb wiping away the downpour of tears, “but with Nesta, with your mate, you have a chance. You should go for it. Follow your heart.”
“I’ll never forget you” he stubbornly argues, adamant that he can have everything he wants. Nesta by his side and you in his life. His love blinding him, allowing his selfish wishes to be spoken aloud.
“I think for both our sakes forgetting each other may be our best option baby.”
You couldn’t help it, the silver tear which escaped your eye, betraying the cold emotions you were trying to display on the outside, your thumb still caressing his cheeks as your eyes flittered across his face. Taking in everything that was Cassian for what would be the last time.
“That’s what I’m going to do,” you cried, “I’m sorry Cas but it’s the only way. I have to forget.”
It was the acceptance that was the hardest part of all. The admission that while you weren’t Cassian’s once in a lifetime, he was yours. And it was your love for him that would allow you to let him go. Your will for him to be happy, outweighing the pain of seeing him in another woman’s arms.
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dntaewithluv · 2 years
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Private Lesson | myg
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Your little sister finds it odd how you've been taking private lessons from her piano teacher for over a month now, but she hasn't heard you actually play even once...
🎹 Pairing: pianoteacher/pianist!yoongi x reader
🎹 Word Count: 5.5k
🎹 Rating: 18+
🎹 Genre: Friends with benefits to lovers, piano teacher/pianist au, smut, fluff, minor drama/angst
🎹 Warnings: Y/N is lying to her younger sister, explicit language, we love secretly hooking up with our sister's hot piano teacher 🤩, making out, biting/marking, Yoongi has some dom tendencies, groping, there's an actual piano lesson and it's wholesome until it's not™️, Yoongi plays his sabotage card 😈, explicit sexual content, lots of teasing/taunting, rubbing, fingering, multiple orgasms, cum eating/feeding, oral (f receiving), hair pulling, scratching, brief handjob, unprotected sex (pls be safe), sex on top of Yoongi's first love (the piano 👀), it's fluffy and wholesome at the end, Y/N lets Yoongi keep her underwear, really the only drama/angst is because they're hooking up in secret oof
A/N: Funny how I forget this man owns me until I see him again and then it's painfully clear 🥹 This was inspired by and spiraled into this™️ after the YTC concert this weekend. It felt really good to be inspired and motivated to write something again, so I really hope you enjoy this if you decide to check it out 🥰 Thank you as always for your patience and kindness and support I purple you always 💜
Masterlist
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“Okay, Faith, I’m heading out.” you called out as you made your way towards the front door, “Should be back in an hour or so.”
Your fifteen-year-old sister, seated at the kitchen table, looked up from her phone, “You know, I really just don’t understand why you don’t just sign up for one of his classes. I know he offers them specifically for adults. It’d probably be way cheaper than whatever you’re paying for all these private lessons.”
You laughed at her remark, trying your best not to let your nerves show.
“I told you, I don’t feel comfortable playing in front of other people. Too much pressure, and too many pairs of eyes on you. Having one person there makes me nervous enough.”
Your little sister stared back at you, seeming to search your face for some answer to whatever she was looking for.
“Yeah, but, Y/N, you won’t even play in front of me. And I’m your sister. You’d think after six weeks worth of lessons, you’d at least be able to do that. Wouldn’t it be cool for us to be able to play something together sometime?”
You felt a twinge of guilt pierce you at her words and the look on her face. You nervously chewed on your bottom lip as you wracked your brain for a response that would satisfy her.
“Tell you what, Faith. I’ll ask Yoo-I mean Mr. Min to teach me one of the pieces you guys are working on in class, and we’ll try to play together soon. Sound good?” you proposed, hoping it would suffice for now.
Faith’s expression shifted, and you were grateful to see that she didn’t look nearly as upset.
“Yeah, okay, sounds good. Have a good lesson.” she said with a small smile before turning back to her phone.
You waited to let out your sigh of relief until you were on the other side of the door. Well that had been fucking close.
Your anxiety only grew more heightened as you pulled up to the familiar condo. No longer feelings of guilt, but of excitement and anticipation. You felt yourself walk a little too fast up to the door, finger immediately reaching out to push the doorbell. You held your breath as you always did when the door was being swung open. And then there he was.
It was truly unfair how hot he looked today and every time you saw him. He had a plain white tee tucked into a pair of high waisted black pants, a single silver chain hanging from his neck. His long, dark, gorgeous locks cascaded down either side of his handsome face. Every single part of you was buzzing.
“And here I was starting to think that maybe you were going to stand me up for our lesson.” he greeted you, eyes giving you a very obvious once over.
Heat washed over you.
“You know I would never.” you voiced, a hint of playfulness in your tone, “I need the practice, and you and I both know it.”
An amused smirk took over his features, “You know I’m always more than happy to oblige a student in need. Please, come in, and we can get started.”
You sauntered past him and into the condo, feeling his gaze on you all the while. No sooner had he closed the door behind you, than you were being pushed up against it, Yoongi hastily crashing his lips against your own. You matched his urgency as your mouths moved together, and your hands slid up into his midnight strands.
He was always more worked up, more rough, anytime you were late. Anytime you had kept him waiting. Today was no exception as he practically swallowed you, his fingers surely making imprints across the skin of your hips from how hard he was pushing you against the door.
His teeth nipped harshly at your lips as his tongue tangled messily with yours. That wild look you had come to know all too well over the past six weeks was present in his dark eyes when he suddenly pulled back from you.
“Well, shit.” you rasped, laughing slightly, “I missed you too.”
Yoongi’s response was to begin hungrily kissing down your neck, and you sighed out as you held him against you.
“You were all I could think about all fucking day.” he murmured as his lips seared against your skin.
“Mmm, you might’ve crossed my mind a time or two.” you teased back, and Yoongi growled against your neck before sinking his teeth into you.
You cried out, your head falling back against the door. He pushed one of his legs between yours and pressed his thigh against you, making you let out a whimper as his tongue simultaneously soothed the spot on your neck. His leg pressed harder and you gasped sharply, “You really wanna be a brat today? After you were already late? Think carefully about your decision, darling.”
It probably wouldn’t be the best idea to be honest. And you knew you would struggle to come up with a reason to explain to Faith why you couldn’t walk the next day…
“No…no. I’ll be good, Yoongi.”
He kissed you just behind your ear, hot breath hitting your skin, “Smart girl. Looks like I’ve been teaching you something these last several weeks after all.”
He immediately went back to sucking color into your neck as his fingers slipped beneath your sun dress and began trailing up the inside of your thigh. His other hand roughly pulled down the strap of your dress to expose your shoulder and some of your chest. Your mind was starting to go fuzzy. The way it always did when you were with Yoongi. But the mention of his teaching reminded you of your promise to Faith.
“Yoongi.” you tried, but it came out as a moan from the way his teeth scraped against your collarbone.
His free hand groped at your breast over your clothes while his fingers started to dip between your thighs. It wouldn’t be long before you would be lost in your pleasure. Lost in him.
“Yoongi, wait.”
You’d actually managed to find your voice this time, and Yoongi was immediately pulling back to look at you as his hand retreated out from underneath your dress.
“Darling, what is it?” he queried, concern briefly flashing across his handsome features.
“It’s just…it’s my sister.”
Yoongi’s eyes went wide, “Wait, does Faith know about us?”
“No, no.” you reassured him quickly, “At least I don’t think she does. But, she is starting to wonder why after six weeks of lessons that she hasn’t heard me play. Like, at all.”
You watched as Yoongi processed this information, and marveled at how cute his thinking face was. You desperately wanted to be kissing him again, but it would have to wait for now.
“So, what you’re saying is, that you think our weekly “piano lessons” should actually be used for piano lessons?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at you.
“I mean, we can definitely still have sex. But I do think I should at least start becoming more familiar with the piano if we wanna keep this under wraps like we have been.” you explained further, looping your arms around Yoongi’s neck as you talked.
His hands came to rest on your hips once again, “You know, darling, I think I have the perfect solution.”
This time you lifted your eyebrows at him. You knew he was fucking with you, but you still decided to ask anyway.
“Oh, and what solution is that?”
Yoongi gripped you harder, making your dress bunch up slightly in his hold.
“I could fuck you on my piano. That would definitely help you become more familiar with it.” he mused, his tongue darting out to wet his lips.
You rubbed your thighs together before you could stop yourself, and Yoongi, of course, noticed immediately. You quickly tried to defuse the rapidly mounting tension.
“Yoon, I’m serious about this. It’s really important to my sister, and at least this way what I’m telling her won’t be a complete lie. Just teach me some of the basics so I have something to show from all these “lessons”. Pleeeeeeease Yoonie.” you pleaded sweetly, and the piano teacher revealed his gums when he smiled at you.
“Alright, alright. You’re right, it probably wouldn’t be a bad idea. And if anyone’s gonna teach you, it should be me.” he relented before taking both of your hands and leading you over to one of the many pianos he had in his luxurious condo.
This particular one was displayed right by his wall of glass windows. Sunlight filtered through the panes and fell on the inviting instrument. Yoongi gestured for you to take a seat on the bench, and you let out a slightly nervous giggle before sitting down. You only missed his warmth for a second before he was right next to you, hip bumping against yours.
His fingers hovered over the keys with such a natural grace, and all you could do was stare at him in awe for a moment. He belonged here. That was clear as day. He positioned his foot on the pedal below, closed his eyes, and began to play. The notes were soft and delicate, as was his touch against the keys.
He looked so beautiful like this, and you felt your breath catch in your chest. It was as if he and the instrument were one and the same, sharing the same soul. He was lost in it, and the music was lost in him. Out of everything you and Yoongi had done since the two of you had started hooking up, this, this, felt the most intimate.
You were overcome with the sudden realization that you were starting to fall in love with him, and nothing had ever scared you more in your entire life. Yoongi’s eyes suddenly fluttered open, and you weren’t prepared for the calm intensity in them when he turned to you. Without taking his hands off the keys, he leaned over and gently brought his lips to yours.
You felt yourself flush furiously because this was a different kind of kiss. Not the kind that had heat surging through you and craving more, more, more. The kind that made your heart stutter in your chest and sent every part of you fluttering. A kiss that made you think that maybe, just maybe, he was starting to fall for you too.
The two of you broke apart, but the closeness remained.
“I don’t know if I ever told you,” Yoongi began softly, warm breath hitting your lips, “but the piano was actually my first love.”
He grew shy suddenly, cheeks heating at the admission as his hands froze over the keys. He had really shown you something so precious. Something that was at the very core of who he was. All you could think about was how honored and lucky you felt that he had chosen to share it with you.
You smiled warmly at him, “Well, then, I’m honored to meet her. Thank you for sharing this with me. You really play so beautifully.”
He blushed deeper, and his gums poked out when he grinned bashfully back at you. The moment felt as delicate as the notes he’d just been pulling from the piano. You found yourself wanting to stay in it for as long as possible. But then Yoongi suddenly cleared his throat and brushed his hands nervously over his pants.
“Okay, your turn now.”
“You really expect me to follow that up?” you questioned back, the nerves beginning to settle over you once more.
Yoongi chuckled, the sound dancing in his eyes, “Of course not. I’m just gonna show you some basic scales.”
You playfully bumped his shoulder with your own.
“Show off.” you remarked teasingly.
“Don’t act like I didn’t just woo the fuck out of you with my piano skills.” he quipped back, flashing you a cocky smirk.
You rolled your eyes, but couldn’t stop the smile that spread across your face, betraying you.
“Okay, fine. Consider me wooed. I guess you can court me now or whatever. After our lesson of course.” you reminded him, and Yoongi swept his hand over the top of the keyboard as if to say “All yours”.
As promised, Yoongi taught you some of the basic scales. It was honestly so hard to concentrate though because there was something so sexy about when he went into teacher mode. Especially once he covered your hands with his own to guide them over the keys. Your brain just went completely blank anytime his hands were on you.
“You know, you could always just join one of my classes. If you wanted to.” he voiced as he helped maneuver your hands.
“Yeaaaaah, something tells me I wouldn’t be able to learn very much. I’d be too distracted by the hot teacher.” you replied cheekily.
Yoongi’s grip on your hands tightened briefly, and you smirked to yourself. But then he switched to teasingly trailing his fingers over your hands and up your arms and back down again, sending shivers through you with his phantom touch.
“I don’t think I’d be able to concentrate either.” he started, his mouth right next to your ear, “There’d only be one thing I’d want to have my hands on…and it wouldn’t be the piano.”
He pulled your ear between his teeth, and you squirmed next to him on the bench. His lips traveled along the length of your jaw, warm and hungry. You sighed out as you leaned into his touch, “Well I feel properly educated for the day. You were a great teacher.”
He hummed, and his mouth vibrated over your throat.
“Mmm, I want you to play the C major scale I showed you before we finish up our lesson for today.”
You pouted even though he couldn’t see it.
“Yoonieeee.” you whined, his teeth grazing your skin in response.
“Play the scale, and then we can start our real lesson.”
You hesitantly raised your fingers over the keys, trying to remember what he had literally just taught you. You pressed down on the first few keys, feeling a tiny victory at the familiar sound. You felt a little more confident going forward now. Until Yoongi sabotaged you by sliding one of his hands over your shoulder and down the front of your dress. He squeezed your breast, and you cried out as your finger struck the wrong key.
“Yoongi.” you scolded him, but he paid you no mind as he continued to knead your soft flesh and bruise your skin with his harsh mouth.
His thumb flicked over your nipple, and you jerked on the bench.
“Start again.” he said simply.
Fuck. This was going to be impossible.
Your hands were shaking this time as you positioned them back over the keys. You willed all your concentration and focus to be on playing the right keys in the scale, and not on Yoongi’s other hand, which was now starting to slip under your dress. You held your breath, making it about halfway through before your hands slammed down on the piano from the feeling of his fingers dipping beneath the waistband of your panties.
“How in the fuck do you expect me to do this?” you demanded in frustration, your body beginning to tremble slightly.
His long digits glided through your folds, teasing you, and your hands curled into fists against your knees.
“Focus. Start again. Play the scale.” he pressed, the words searing against the skin of your shoulder.
Maybe if you just got through the scale as fast as possible. You discovered, however, that when your speed increased, so did the speed of Yoongi’s fingers as they rubbed over your aching core. Your head had nearly slammed down into the keys. You whimpered and started again, slower this time. Yoongi immediately slowed down with you. It took all of your strength and willpower to block him out, but soon you had reached the second to last note in the scale. You prepared to play the final note, but suddenly shot up from the bench when one of Yoongi’s fingers pushed inside of you, “Yoongi, fuck!”
He used his free hand to push you back down and hold you in place before inserting a second digit, making you writhe on the bench.
“Again. You almost had it that time.” he taunted you, and you could see his wicked smirk out of the corner of your eye.
He opted for just watching you this time as you started the scale again, but his hand didn’t cease its movements between your legs. His fingers plunged inside of you, crooking and twisting in a way that was nothing short of sinful. You had reached the last few notes again, you were so close. Yoongi’s thumb brushed over your neglected clit, and you yanked your hands down to your lap to keep from playing a wrong key as you nearly let out a sob.
“Oh, darling, you’re so close. Finish it.”
Your hands were shaking so violently now, but you still somehow managed to play the last few keys without any more errors. All the built up tension and pressure had you releasing all over Yoongi’s fingers as soon as your hands left the keys, and he hissed next to you.
Your body was still trembling in his hold, and you panted heavily as you struggled to regain your senses. Yoongi reached out with his clean hand to pull the cover back over the keys before withdrawing his other one from between your thighs. His coated fingers were slipping past your lips a moment later and pressing down on your tongue. You were still feeling hazy, but you sucked them clean without needing to be asked, Yoongi humming in approval.
He stood up from the bench a moment later, and reached down to lift you up and perch you on top of the piano, your head still spinning. His hands slid up your thighs, fingers digging in slightly. He pressed a kiss to the inside of your knee before slowly moving higher, the feeling of his wicked tongue making you grip onto the sides of the piano.
His fingers twisted into your waistband before pulling your panties down your legs and setting them on the bench next to him. Yoongi pushed your dress up to your hips to expose your dripping cunt, and his eyes blew out at the sight. His gaze flicked up to meet yours, and you could see the desire, the hunger, pulsing through him. You clenched around nothing.
“Lay back for me, darling.” he instructed calmly.
Your heartbeat was deafening as your back met the wood underneath you. You let out a yelp when Yoongi wrapped his arms around your thighs and yanked you to the edge of the piano.
“Fuck. You have no idea how much I’ve been dying to taste you again.” he rasped out, and your fingers scratched against the wood.
He dove right in and started cleaning up your release, your back arching off of the piano as you gasped sharply. Yoongi ate you out messily, his grunts permeating the air while his face was buried in your cunt. The things he could do with his mouth, his tongue, had to be some kind of artform. A skill he had finely tuned much like his talent for the piano.
Your hands reached down to tangle in his long, fluffy hair as his tongue fucked into you. His nose kept bumping against your clit, making your nails scrape over his scalp.
“Oh my god, Yoongi.”
One of his hands snaked its way up your writhing body to roughly grab at your breast. Your body twisted on the wood when you felt his mouth suddenly envelop your bundle of nerves.
“Fuck. Fuck! Yoongi!” you cried out as he vigorously sucked at your clit, tongue flicking over the bud in quick strokes.
He always made you come undone with his mouth faster than anyone ever had, and today was no exception as you felt your high speeding towards you. His fingers dug into your skin harshly as he continued to eat your cunt like he was starving for you. You pulled hard against his dark strands, and Yoongi growled before grazing your clit with his teeth. Your desperate, breathy moans filled the air as you practically convulsed on top of the piano.
“Close…Yoon…” you panted out.
“Come for me, darling.” Yoongi coaxed, voice husky and dark, “Wanna feel you on my tongue.”
He nipped at your bud again, and you sobbed his name as you fell to pieces. Yoongi kept devouring your cunt until you were shivering in overstimulation and whimpering feebly. You felt him finally surface, and it took all your strength to even lift up your head to look at him.
His breathing was ragged, hair wild, chestnut irises nearly black, and his lips glistened with your release. You moaned softly as you watched his tongue swipe across his mouth to finish cleaning you off of his face. He looked absolutely wasted off of you.
“Always so fucking delicious. Could stay buried in your sweet little cunt all day.” he remarked, and you were caught off guard by how fucked out he sounded.
“I think I would die if you did.” you offered back weakly, making Yoongi laugh, his gums peeking out adorably.
“Alright, darling, watch out. I’m coming up there.” he said, and in your post orgasm haze you really thought he was joking.
But within a few swift movements, he had hoisted himself up and was hovering over your shocked figure.
“Wait, are you… You’re, you’re actually gonna fuck me on your piano?” you asked incredulously as you blinked up at him.
Yoongi shifted so you could feel just how hard he was as he brushed against you, “Wanna know a secret? It’s actually always been a fantasy of mine.”
You let out a small gasp as his admission washed over you.
“You mean, you’ve never done this? With anyone? Like ever?” you questioned further, genuinely feeling dumbfounded.
“Never.” Yoongi answered, flashing you a shy smile, “What do you say, darling? You wanna be my first?”
Your heart constricted in your chest at his choice of words. The fact that he wanted to share this first with you. That you would be the one to fulfill this fantasy for him. Warmth spread over your entire body.
“Yoongi Min, I would be honored to take your piano virginity.” you tried to say as seriously as you could manage, but as soon as Yoongi started chuckling, so did you.
“Please, taking you on my piano is my honor.” he voiced thoughtfully before leaning down to kiss you.
You immediately came to life beneath him, your hands finding their familiar home in his hair. You could taste yourself on his tongue as he devoured your mouth. Growing impatient, you made a grab for his pants. Yoongi smirked into the kiss as his hands joined yours to help free him from the confines of his clothes. He sat up momentarily to slip his white tee over his head and sweep his messy locks back from his face, top half bare except for the silver chain laying against his skin.
You shamelessly ogled his broad chest and defined muscles, your eyes trailing down his body to his achingly hard cock that bounced back up against his stomach.
“God,” you whispered as you reached for him, “you are so fucking hot.”
Yoongi flushed at the compliment, letting out a hiss when your eager hand wrapped around him a moment later.
“Like it’s seriously unfair.” you whined as you began giving him a few teasing pumps, and Yoongi groaned beautifully in response.
“What’s unfair is how unbelievably sexy you look right now. Fucked out on top of my piano, just waiting to be stuffed full of cock. Begging to be aren’t you, darling?”
God, he was so fucking hot when he was cocky. You needed him so bad, there was no point in delaying things any further. You released your hold on him and stretched your arms out above your head, inviting him with your eyes, “Do your worst, piano man.”
“Oh, I am going to wreck you.” he growled out before descending on you, and you let out a squeal as his body pressed down on you.
He intertwined his hands with your own, keeping them pinned above your head as his tip prodded at your entrance. He gave them a tight squeeze as he began pushing further past your walls, both of you moaning out at the sensation of feeling him inside you again. You arched into him at the stretch, and Yoongi placed a kiss on your shoulder.
“Always so tight, darling, fucking hell. You take my cock so well. Love fucking you open like this, feels so good.”
You preened at his praise, your head shooting up suddenly to connect your lips. Yoongi groaned into your mouth, finally bottoming out inside of you. Your legs came up to wrap around his waist as you kissed him furiously. Yoongi squeezed against your intertwined hands while he slowly drew back out before slamming all the back in with a harsh thrust that knocked all the air from your lungs. He quickly created a rhythm, driving his cock between your walls in swift, but powerful movements, your body sliding further up the piano with each stroke.
“Fuck…Yoongi.” you moaned brokenly as you lost the energy to keep kissing him.
He breathed hot air into your mouth as he continued fucking the life out of you. You held each other’s hands so tight it hurt, but it also served as an anchor to this moment and to each other. Yoongi grunted, hips snapping roughly with every thrust. Your head was starting to go fuzzy again, and you knew you wouldn’t last super long after he’d already pulled two orgasms from you today.
Yoongi released your hands suddenly, his fingers immediately snaking into your hair, tangling and pulling at the strands. Your hands latched onto his broad shoulders, and dug into his skin as he reached the deepest part of you again and again. Yoongi let out a snarl, “Fuck. You gonna scratch me up again today? Love when you leave your mark on me. A reminder of just how good I fuck you. Isn’t that right, darling?”
But you were beyond words, only able to respond with moans and whimpers as you clenched around him.
“Your perfect little cunt is squeezing me so tight, shit. You gonna come for me again, darling?”
Tears blurred your vision. Everything felt too good. Yoongi felt too good. His cock dragged inside of you at an agonizing pace, making you feel every inch of him. You bit down hard on Yoongi’s shoulder as your nails raked down his back, pulling a string of moans from him in response.
You felt one of his hands leave your hair and trail down the length of your body. His fingers strummed across your aching clit, and you let out a scream as everything inside of you snapped. Yoongi swore loudly as you came all over his cock, and he began fucking you with renewed vigor. You just held onto him for dear life, body shuddering, as he chased his own high.
He fisted your hair tightly in his free hand, groaning and panting as he continued rutting into you. His other hand gripped your hip hard enough to bruise, like he was holding onto you for dear life too. His thrusts began to stutter, and he leaned down to clumsily kiss you.
“Ah,” he moaned against your lips, “ah fuck.”
He twitched inside of you, and then he was coating your walls with his own release. Yoongi practically collapsed on top of you, his hair tickling your face as the two of you fought to catch your breath.
“Well…your fantasy…was it everything…you’d dreamed of?” you managed to ask, threading one of your hands through his fluffy locks.
You felt Yoongi smile against you, and your heart skipped in your chest.
“More…it was more. Reality topped fantasy…hands down. You topped fantasy.”
Your face warmed at his words, and it didn’t go unnoticed by Yoongi.
“I mean, technically…I actually bottomed fantasy.” you quipped back, and he nipped your neck in response, making you giggle wildly.
“Brat. I was trying to be sincere with you. I really like you, Y/N. And I hope we don’t always have to be a secret. I know you’re worried about everything with Faith, and I get it. But, at the risk of putting myself out there and sounding like an idiot, I want the day to come when I can be your boyfriend, and not just your little sister’s piano teacher that you fuck once a week. I want something real with you, and I want things to be okay between me, you, and Faith. Now would be a good time to tell me to shut up and stop wishing for a fantasy. That this is just sex, and that’s it. Just please, say something.”
You felt frozen beneath him, your tongue heavy in your mouth. One wrong word could shatter all of this. Or the right words, the true words, could be the start of something real and beautiful like Yoongi had said. He was laying so close to your heart, and the way it was rapidly pounding would probably end up giving you away anyway. He had taken the leap for you, and to you, Yoongi was more than worth the jump.
“Yoongi I, I’m falling for you. And it terrifies the hell out of me, but it also makes me feel excited, and hopeful. Being with you these last several weeks…it’s the best I’ve felt in a really long time. There definitely would have to be a conversation with Faith first, but I really want this, us, to be something real too. It’s not just sex for me anymore, and I don’t think it has been for awhile. I get butterflies when I think about seeing you. Not just fucking you. But seeing you and getting to be with you, even if it’s only for little bits at a time. Any time I can get is worth it to me, cause you’re worth it to me.”
You waited anxiously for his response, which came in the form of him covering your lips with his own, his hands coming up to cradle your face. It felt like the kiss at the piano earlier, only more sure, more confident. It was like you could feel everything that he felt for you, and you kissed him back, hoping that he could feel the same.
The two of you laid there for some time, just lazily tangled up in each other and in the fragile moment. Yoongi groaned loudly when you finally spoke up and mentioned that you should probably be heading back before Faith started to worry. He had the cutest pout on his face as he climbed down from the piano before holding out his hand to help guide you back to the floor.
“I can’t wait until you can finally just stay, and I can fall asleep next to you.” he voiced softly as he straightened his pants and retrieved his white tee from the floor.
“Me too.” you agreed, pushing up on your toes to kiss his cheek, and Yoongi immediately blushed.
“Hey, do you think I could hold onto this?” you added, gesturing at the shirt in his hands.
He gave you a gummy smile, “That’s not really keeping things a secret now is it, darling?”
“I’ll be careful with it. It’d just be nice to have a little piece of you with me.” you told him sweetly.
“Alright, it’s yours.” he said, tossing the shirt to you, “Can I keep these then? As something to remember you by.”
He bent down to pick up your panties from the floor and raised a mischievous eyebrow at you.
“Yoongi!” you exclaimed in shock, your cheeks burning.
“I’m kidding! Well, kind of.”
He flashed you a cheeky little smirk, and you shook your head at him, laughing.
“Well, if I just so happen to leave here without them, then I guess that really can’t be helped now can it?”
Yoongi hummed before stuffing the garment into his pocket.
“Yeah, guess not.” he agreed nonchalantly.
You felt your face heat once more, and you briefly turned your gaze to the piano, Yoongi’s eyes following yours.
“Shit!” he cursed suddenly, and worry immediately overtook you.
“What’s wrong?”
“It just occurred to me that I’ll never be able to play at this piano again without getting hard.”
You busted out laughing because you definitely had not been expecting that answer.
“Well, then, I guess you’ll just have to fuck me on every piano you own so that this one doesn’t feel singled out.” you quipped back as you gave him a knowing look.
Yoongi’s eyes were darkening immediately, “I think you better text your sister and let her know today’s lesson is running a little late.”
You grinned wickedly back at him, rising to the challenge.
“Whatever you say, piano man.”
2K notes · View notes
maybankcore · 2 months
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toxic jj maybank . 𓇢𓆸
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context : some toxic!jj concepts i have. idk why but i’m such a whore for toxic jj 🥰.
tws : emotional abuse, a lil bit of angst ig, implications to sex,
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imo toxic jj isn’t toxic in the way rafe is toxic – he wouldn’t control what you wear, or where you are or any of that rafe bs. his type of toxic would be completely different.
communication? huh, jj has never heard of it. unless it’s the sounds of your moans during makeup sex. yes, jj maybank would hate communicating with you or frankly anybody after an argument. ignoring the problem till it slowly recovers itself or fucking your brains out are the only 2 options. n’ when he really fucked up nd said some nasty shit to you, he’ll give you the more tooth rotting aftercare.
speaking of him ‘fucking up’, jj would SO lash out easily. even if it’s not you who’s the problem, he’ll fixate on anything small you did and act like that is what pissed him off, and worst of all, he won’t even tell you the reason. imagine your lip quivering and eyes glassy, whilst jj is in-front of you, nose to nose, and him just yelling. “y’know your just such a fuckin’ attention seeker, must’ve gotten that from your precious mommy, huh?”. damn- the way he’d dig into your family issues esp if u hv daddy or mommy issues, and jj would compare you to all the people you spent your whole life trying not to be. ughghghgh the pain ☹️!
i can only imagine the guilt he’d feel when he realized how bad he lashed out, knowing he was trying to work on it. seeing tears steaming down your face, sobs wracking your body as you hug yourself is probably the most gut wrenching, chest tightening, heart breaking feeling for him. and after all, he is his fathers son.
“fuck.. fuck-“ he wrapped his arms around you and started tearing up himself. “m’ so sorry baby. i swear, no, i promise i didn’t mean to do that shit again. baby please i’m sorry don’t cry.” as he frantically started kissing your head trying to get you to respond, yet alone glance at him.
the more you cry, the worse he feels. jj grabs your jaw softly, making you look up a him. your puffy eyes and red nose on display, making your hurt more displayable. “y/n baby, you forgive me right?.. y-y’know i didn’t mean it?” and when you try and turn your head away again he tightens his grip on you. “say you forgive me. please.”
those puppy eyes, down-turned lips and sorrow look on his face always does it for you. the way he brushes your hair out of your face and scans your own eyes for any sign of lenience.
“i forgive you.”
and those three words are what ALWAYSSS make you fall right back into his little trap. days after this it’s always constant affection towards you, movie nights, passionate sex, kisses showering you, and stealing you a new pair of sunglasses.
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332 notes · View notes
rinhaler · 3 months
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It'll Probably End With Me Being Forgot
CHAPTER SUMMARY : you never thought you and yuuji were the type to keep secrets from each other, but he doesn't need to know megumi kissed you. maybe he already knows... why else would he be acting so weirdly?
boyfriend!yuuji itadori x f!reader x bully!megumi fushiguro
WARNINGS : 18+, consensual sex, vaginal sex, creampie, cum eating??, face sitting, praise kink, drug taking, bullying.
WORDS : 6.6k
notes : am I actually posting wusyaname on a friday?? wild
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“Nervous for tomorrow?”
Yuuji whispers as he lies flat on his stomach with his arm over yours. Nervous is a good word, a very apt word for how you should feel.
It’s Monday tomorrow.
Your alarm will be ringing in a few hours for you.
It’ll be your first day back at university since you were spiked. It’ll be the first time you go to your class and see the girls who publicly humiliated you. And it will be the first time you are in the classroom with Megumi again since you destroyed each other’s sketch books.
Nervous would be a good way to describe what you should be feeling.
But, honestly, after this weekend and seeing how little Toji needed to do to send the fear of God into his son, you didn’t feel nervous.
Megumi is a paper man, and his father had no hesitation to piss on his parade, making him a small pathetic pile of mush. You aren’t nervous, not one bit. You're confused however, and you're wracked with guilt.
Because you've decided not to tell Yuuji about the kiss.
So much has happened, so much has changed in so little time. It wasn’t so long ago that you could barely pry Yuuji away from your soft folds as he devoured your intimate flesh. He couldn’t get enough of you.
And you were always close to being late for class.
Today, however, you wake up and he does nothing but press a gentle kiss into your shoulder and instantly goes to get shower and dress for class.
Is he losing interest in you?
It's a ridiculous thought you shake away immediately.
He’s probably just… No.
What is wrong with him?
Or maybe it’s you. Something is wrong with you.
There's no use dwelling on it now, not when class is right around the corner. It’s best if you just focus on getting dressed and talk it out with him later.
You decide to swap out your usual paint covered leggings and baggy t-shirt for a nice pair of figure-hugging jeans and a scanty crop top. If that doesn’t remind him how much he loves being intimate with you; you don’t know if anything will. You finish painting your face with light makeup as Yuuji re-enters the bedroom with a towel wrapped around his waist.
Not even a glance in your direction.
It’s only been a day since you had the best, most intimate sex of your life. And now he isn’t even registering your existence. Your lip wobbles as you try and hold it together. It’s dawning on you what’s going on.
This is Megumi’s fault.
He’s got inside of your fucking head and he’s messing and warping with your sense of self and your worth.
Why did he fucking kiss you?
Yuuji knows.
He must know for him to be so distant with you. No, he doesn’t, you argue with yourself. You breathe through pouting lips and try to bat away the tears forming in your lash line.
You startle a little when you feel Yuuji’s hand cup your shoulder. You turn to face him, seeing that he's already dressed. That’s why he didn’t look at you. He was getting ready for class! He isn’t ignoring you.
Of course he doesn’t know about Megumi kissing you, how could he?
The hand on your shoulder travels upwards to cup your face. His lips find yours and every insecurity you’ve ever felt in your life dissipates. He pulls away, resting his forehead on yours, the tips of your noses touching gently together.
He's searching your eyes.
“You look amazing princess,” he states. Your eyes shut softly and a tear finally breaks free and rolls down your cheek. He quickly swipes it away with his thumb, he even warns you that you’ll ruin your makeup if you don’t cut it out. “you don’t have to do this today y’know? A lot happened to you, take another day… hell take another week if you need to.” he assures you.
God he’s so fucking sweet you think you might get tooth decay if he says anything else to you. He kisses your lips again, and then your forehead before crouching down and resting on the balls of his feet. He holds your hands, delicately rubbing his thumbs over your soft skin as he waits for you to speak.
“I want to,” you tell him honestly, “but I think the longer I leave it the harder it’ll be.” you confess. He nods. He brings your hands to his lips and kisses softly.
“Let’s get you to class then. I wanna show off my pretty girl.”
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His fingers interlace with yours. It’s weird that you aren’t running through the halls together. You’re early, only by a few minutes, but still. You’re strolling through the building with not a single care in the world.
You lean back against the wall outside of your classroom, the usual spot where you’ve lost count of how many times he’s kissed you too intimately for public viewing. This time, he does kiss you, but it’s soft and gentle.
He has so much fear in his eyes. He’s terrified about leaving you here. With those vile fucking girls and that piece of shit he thought was his friend. You smile, though.
It’ll all be okay.
Yuuji scowls as he hears giggling. Your blood runs cold. The girls snicker as they see you and walk into the classroom. He wishes he could get them expelled or something. Anything to keep them away from you.
He notices the time on his watch, it’s creeping dangerously close to 9am. Regardless of how early you got here, Yuuji is still going to be rushing to his class. He engulfs you in a hug and you smile warmly.
“Text me if you need anything. Okay baby? Anything.”
You start to speak but you both notice a familiar silhouette out of the corner of your eyes. Megumi. You knew you’d see him again sooner or later, but his presence is all consuming and downright miserable.
Yuuji frowns, but nothing more. He knows Fushiguro isn’t so imbecilic to try anything in front of him. You hold Yuuji’s face and turn him to face you. His loving brown eyes stare into yours. Every crease and every pore of your beautiful face. He can tell from one minor change if you’re okay. So he’s examining hard.
“I’ll text you Yuuji, promise.”
He kisses you one last time and stands in the doorway as he watches you find somewhere to sit.
Megumi and the girls are sitting near the back, so he smiles when he sees you take a seat in the front row closest to the door. You smile back when you see him mouth ‘I love you’ to you. You do the same, and finally he runs down the hallway to his own class.
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It's a pretty painless class all in all, you were definitely expecting worse. You hear the girls talking in an insanely high pitch as they attempt to flirt with Megumi.
But of course, he's his usual stoic self. You do your best to avoid turning to look at them. However, when you hear them snicker and say things like ‘she pissed herself in the club’ you want a hole to form under your seat and suck you into nothingness. Your eyes bulge when you hear something you hadn’t expected.
“Shut. Up.” Megumi speaks in annoyance. You know he isn’t defending you, he hates you after all. But it still makes you smile to hear the girls try and defend themselves.
“I thought you hated her Megumi!” the redhead whines.
“I thought I told you to shut up.”
Regardless of your three bullies making unnecessary comments in the back, there are three students around you that offer their support, telling you that they heard what happened and that they hope you’re okay.
It's nice knowing that you had other people around you and not just your boyfriend. Your classmates didn’t know the full extent to your ordeal, of course, but it was still appreciated.
You're surprised when you see Megumi begin to pack away early. Apparently, he has a dentist appointment. He ignores you as he walks by. He gives you nothing but the gust of wind that breezes by from his stride.
While everyone is getting on with their work for the last thirty minutes of class, your teacher approaches you to discuss your sketchbook.
If nothing else, you know the trauma of being spiked in the club would provide a perfect sob story to get you more time on your work.
You still hadn’t pinned the blame Megumi for ruining your sketchbook. What would be the point? He’d only retaliate that you did the same to his.
You took full responsibility for the ink incident, but with the help of your drugging ordeal, he offers you a hefty extension on your work, thank God. He spends the remainder of his lesson talking with you and giving you tips on how to create a new body of artwork.
“Megumi actually started again from scratch, for some reason, and he’s managed to get a lot done in a short period of time.” he tells you.
You nod along as if you don’t have a clue as to why Megumi would start again. You actually do feel a little bad that you ruined all of his hard work.
You were just as bad as him in that aspect.
He clearly puts a lot of time and effort into his drawings, but you ruined them all in an instant. But you only feel a little bad, since he did exactly the same to you.
But is it fair to be so petty?
“Perhaps you could ask him for some advice.” your lecturer suggests.
Your lips pull into a straight line. You have to think of something civil to say that won’t expose your burning hatred of the black-haired menace.
“I’ll think about it.”
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Logically, you know that nothing bad will happen to you; but you begin packing away early so you can immediately sprint out of the room.
Without Megumi holding the girls back, you're worried that they might try and do something to you. You stick to your word and leave the room as quickly as your legs will take you.
Yuuji will be finishing his classes soon, too. You consider going to the sports hall to meet him, but you know he’ll be showering again and changing before coming to meet you. You head towards the exit, deciding it's smarter to wait by his car instead.
As you're rushing, you collide with another student. Thankfully neither of you drop anything like a classic cliché, however it is a cliché that the student you ram into happens to be Megumi.
Isn’t he meant to be at the dentist?
Before you can get away, he covers your mouth with his palm and pulls you into the boys toilets. He locks you both in a cubicle and he remains straight faced as you began to cry.
“Shut up, stop screaming, I’m not gonna do anything.” he tells you. Your chest is heaving, but you nod. He seems sincere, but it’s hard to tell with him. He uncovers your mouth. Your eyes squint as you examined his nose.
He looks like he wants to kill you when you began to smirk.
“Too much sugar on your donuts, Megumi.” you speak as you wiped a finger over your own nose. His eyes bulge as he understands what you mean in an instant, quickly swiping the back of his sleeve over his nose to clear away the coke he’d snorted. “What do you want from me?” you wonder.
“Yuuji seemed unusually calm when he saw me today.” he begins. You raise your eyebrows, prompting him to continue. “I can only assume that you didn’t tell him that we kissed.”
Your heart stops as he speaks. You raise a finger to your lips and repeatedly tell him to be quiet. Anyone could be in here listening to you talk. “First of all, you kissed. I slapped you away.” you whisper-shout. “I should tell him, really, I have no reason to protect you. Especially after this.” you threaten, he does nothing but roll his eyes at your idle threat.
“Unless you liked it,” you want to argue his point, but he interjects immediately. “I was high so don’t flatter yourself.”
“You’re high now, do I need to worry? Have you got more misery in store for me? Or are you going to do as your daddy tells you and leave me the fuck alone?” you question.
He leans back against the wall on the cubicle you’re squashed in together and he observes you. He thinks it must be nice to have as much power as you do, knowing your enemies weak spot.
His will always be Toji.
“I’m actually done with you,” he explains. You’re sceptical, it seems too good to be true. “I found out something very exciting at your parents house. Do you want to know?”
“I don’t care, honestly.”
“I wasn’t going to tell you anyway. It’s more fun for me that way, but just know you’re fucked… and it has nothing to do with me.” he explains as he opens the door. You push him backwards so that you can leave first. You look at him in the mirrors above the sinks before walking out.
“Goodbye, Megumi.”
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You’re loitering around parking lot waiting for Yuuji. You recognise a car that pulls up, and you smile when you see a familiar face.
It’s Toji.
He beams when he sees you. You walk over to him and give him those polite rich people kisses on each cheek. You smile again when you notice another person step out of the car.
This car isn’t Toji’s; it’s hers. She introduces herself as Tsumiki, Megumi’s sister.
“Nice to meet you.” you tell her.
“Did the brat give you any trouble? We came to pick him up, wanted to keep an eye on him.”
You lie, shaking your head. You’re sure he’ll manage to shake the information out of his son if he really wants to. He examines the space around him, waiting to see when his son will turn up. You can tell he’s apprehensive. He’s never been a hands-on father before. It’s all new territory for him.
He notices you examining Tsumiki. He knows exactly what you want to ask, but you're too scared. You don’t want to sound offensive or rude.
“She’s not mine princess, my ex-wife’s kid.” Toji fills you in.
“Dad she didn’t ask,” Tsumiki huffs. “Sorry about him.”
“Don’t apologise for me she wanted to know; look you can tell by her face. Right?” he gestures you, he's looking at you over his sunglasses with raised eyebrows, so you nod.
It isn’t lost on you that she doesn’t have the same jet-black hair as the Fushiguro’s. But genetics works like that sometimes, however in this instance your instincts are correct.
Eventually Toji’s spawn arrives; looking meek and submissive under his father’s intense glare. Toji questions why he looks so guilty, but Megumi doesn’t say a word.
Tsumiki is clueless. She knows about a girl who got spiked after the police came to question Megumi, but she has no idea that girl is standing before her very eyes, and it was his fault after all.
Toji has no intention of telling her.
“You’re really sticking around then, huh Toji?” you ask with a cheeky smirk on your face. Megumi scowls, he was furious that you were daring to have banter with his fucking dad. He still hates you, but he knows he needs to be smart around you now. Only because his prick of a father is staying for the time being.
“Yeah, I am.” he replies. “Maybe I’m expected to be a decent father and learn from my mistakes, yeah?”
There's something about Toji that makes you feel safe. He's like your guardian angel. You feel untouchable with him nearby. And Megumi fucking hates that.
Those few hours you spent with him in your father’s study are the closest you’ve felt to having a real parental figure in your whole life.
The family all move to get into Tsumiki’s car. But before they can leave, they're all drawn to the yelling, sprinting, pink-haired boy approaching you. He wraps his arms around your neck and smothers your lips in passionate kisses.
“Hello to you too, Yuuji.” you giggle.
“We need to go home, I need you home, now.” he explains. Tsumiki coos over the cute display. Toji snickers, while Megumi is seething. Yuuji says quick hello's to Toji and Tsumiki while point-blank ignoring his ex-best friend.
“Someone’s keen,” Toji chuckles, “Wrap it up kid. Don’t wanna end up with one of him, do ya?” Toji speaks gesturing his thumb to the side, pointing directly at Megumi.
Your face flushes with heat, at that.
He’s so forward and he doesn’t care. Tsumiki smacks his arm lightly as she gets inside of her vehicle and starts it up. You and your boyfriend step closer to your own car, but before you can leave Megumi moves towards you.
“So fucking cute.” Megumi starts. “Such a shame that you're keeping secrets, right?” he torments. Yuuji continues walking to the car door so he can take you home.
“No one is listening to you Fushiguro.” Yuuji tells him as he snaps open the door. He's about to duck inside, but Megumi has one last thing to say.
You're panicking. Is he really going to tell him?
Is he really about to spill, right fucking now, that you shared a kiss?
“Get in the fucking car ya little bastard.” Toji hisses as he grabs under his sons arm and tries to pull him away. Megumi snatches it back and gets closer to you. But he keeps his body positioned so that it's facing Itadori.
“I walked past the sports hall earlier, Yuuji, very interesting presentation I saw through the window.” Megumi smiles evilly. Yuuji slammed the door and gets closer to your bully.
“Shut the hell up,”
“Agreed, shut your fucking mouth.” Toji speaks as he slaps Megumi upside the head. “You deaf kid? I said: get in the fucking car.” he finishes, finally dragging his son around and shoving him into the backseat. “Can’t fucking help yourself, can you? Stop interfering in that girl’s life.” you hear him in the distance before slamming the door and sealing Megumi inside.
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Whatever doubts you had about Yuuji this morning are quickly dashed. He buries them in a coffin and forces the nails in as he practically rips your clothes off your body.
He can’t keep his hands off you.
His gentle fingers caress each and every inch of your body while his lips do the same with soft, peppered kisses.
The days of him thinking you're made of glass seem like a distant memory as he fucks you. The slow, deep, lazy sex you had at your parent’s house is long forgotten.
He's like an animal, really giving it his all as he fucks you from behind. You're screaming and crying into the pillows. He doesn’t fail to tell you how much he loves you, either.
But you already knew that.
You convulse around him, and he empties himself inside of you. It's deep and creamy, and he's enamoured by the equally thick and creamy ring forming around the base of his cock as he kept drilling into you.
And it doesn’t end there.
He doesn’t care that your cunt is stuffed full of his seed. Yuuji pulls you around like a ragdoll as he lies flat against the bed.
His face is your throne.
And you're royalty in his eyes.
“Please princess, please. Need you to sit f’me, okay?” he looks up at you with pleading eyes. Something Yuuji Itadori has never been shy about since the day you met him is his love for eating pussy. In these few months you’ve been dating, you’ve never been let to forget that.
He praises what tasty slick you have, the best he’s ever consumed. So, to have you deny him of his fountain of youth, from his taste of heaven, has been unbearable.
“Need it s’bad baby. Please. Pleaaaase let me taste you.”
Who are you to deny him?
His arms lock around your thighs. You hold one hand against the wall to stabilize yourself and your other laces through his pastel pink locks. You bite your bottom lip as he sucks at your sensitive bead.
He's so needy and desperate; you can tell he hadn’t gotten to enjoy licking at your folds for a few days. It makes you shudder when you feel him suck his cum out of your hole and spit it back in.
“Oh God…” you sigh. Your heart rate soars. You aren’t going to last much longer. But that's a good thing for Yuuji. That’s exactly what he wants. “Yuuji—!” you cry.
His palms slap onto your ass and he pulls your heat closer to his face. He really wants you to sit. He squeezes your flesh tightly, it's a signal for you to cum. He doesn’t dare pull away and risk wasting a second of consuming your flavour as you straddled his head.
You can hear him though.
He’d be saying something like ‘go ahead and cum, princess’ so you do. You hum and groan through the pleasure of his tongue laving and sucking your clit and he loves the way your legs tremble.
You climb off of him and he sits upright. He locks a hand around the back of your head and pulls you in for a crashing intimate kiss. You think he might want to go for another round for a minute, but it slows. He kisses your cheek before turning you around and pulling you to lie down with him. Yuuji plays with your hair and your eyelids feel heavier.
“What was that all about, Yuuji? Not that I’m complaining.”
He wraps his arms around you and kisses into the crown of your head. “Does there need to be a reason? I just love you baby.” he reminds you, kissing you again.
“I love you too.” you smile. But you can’t relax, because something is playing on your mind. It had been playing on your mind the whole car ride home, but you didn’t want to mention it. It was even in the back of your brain while he fucked you into oblivion. “What was Megumi talking about before? The sports hall presentation?” you query.
You feel Yuuji’s body tense up against you.
Maybe you should have kept it to yourself.
“What? Are we listening to Fushiguro now?” he asks, anger clear in his tone.
“No! It’s just—”
He rises to his feet, quickly pulling his clothes back on and heading towards the bedroom door to leave.
Hopefully he’ll tell you in his own time.
His stare is kinder as you approach him later. He welcomes you to join him on the sofa with open arms. So, you hop quickly towards him and sit in his lap. You nestle into his chest as he strokes your body sensually with his thumbs.
“Hey,” he whispers hoping to get your attention without startling you. Your eyes find his, those beautiful hazel hues, and you feel as safe as can be. He looks… sad. His eyes are glossy, and he kisses your forehead forcefully. “What we did today princess, I need to do that every day.” he tells you.
“What do you—?”
“Please, please don’t make me explain. I love you, you get that, right? So please, I need to be with you like that every day.” he tells you. He's literally begging you. Begging for your body every single day. That isn’t something you could promise.
What has gotten into him?
“Yuuji I just don’t—”
“Baby!” he yells. He feels you jump in his arms and pulls you closer into his body again, shushing and cooing.
He’s sorry, he is, he’s really sorry.
He doesn’t know what’s gotten over him, he never ever yells at you.
You don’t understand and he can’t explain just yet.
“You know I’d never make you do anything you don’t wanna, right baby? Just this one thing, I need you to do this for me.” he tells you. His two hands hold your whole face and he looks at you with those pleading eyes. You don’t know what’s going on, but you can’t refuse him when he’s looking at you like that.
“Okay.”
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You do as he asks, every single day.
It’s only Friday, but you wonder how much longer this is going to go on before he gives you the explanation you're patiently waiting for.
But it didn’t come.
He had the perfect opportunity to tell you when you went out for your usual Friday lunch into town, but he chose not to. Instead telling you about his classes.
You kiss him goodbye as you head towards the art building.
Would Fushiguro be so stupid as to think he’s still entitled to share your cubicle space with you?
Yes.
He doesn’t look at you though, maybe he’ll leave you alone today. Although that seems painfully optimistic.
He almost ignores you as you come in and find your seat. But he can’t completely, how could he when you looked like that? You’re always so glamorous and well put together, usually. But today, you’re in sweats with no makeup.
You’d be embarrassed to tell anyone the reason; but the truth is you were so fucked out from Yuuji going to town on you every single night with no reprieve.
“Not looking so high and mighty today, princess.” Megumi mutters. “In fact, you look depressed.” he adds.
“God. My fucking God. Seriously. Christ. Shut the fuck up.” you moan. Maybe the sentence was a little extreme. But with Yuuji keeping secrets and Megumi getting his digs in, you couldn't take it. “Did you... never mind—” you decided to keep schtum.
You wonder for a brief second if the reason Yuuji was so desperate to be intimate with you was because he knew about the kiss. But if he did, you’re sure Megumi would be in a hospital bed rather than in your personal space.
“No, I didn’t. Stop fucking talking about it. It didn’t mean anything so shut your fucking mouth.” Megumi hisses through gritted teeth. “Neither of us want anyone finding out, seems like one thing we agree on, so stop bringing it up.” Megumi finishes.
You nod in agreement. If anyone finds out, you'll be mortified. Although you didn’t do anything wrong – it would seem so much worse than it is since you didn’t immediately confess the truth to Yuuji. Although, he seems to have a dirty secret of his own.
“Interesting that you decided to keep it to yourself, though. Why?” Megumi contradicts himself as he presses for more information. You lean over to him, hissing back at him just as he had to you.
“Don’t you think you’ve blown into my life like a hurricane and fucked up enough?”
You sit back upright as your lecturer approaches your cubicle. He commends how well the two of you are getting along, going as far as to compliment you for taking Megumi under your wing.
You cringe with embarrassment as he mentions the fact you’d discussed him helping you build your sketchbook back up to full health. Megumi smirks at that. Your lecturer leaves you be, and your eyes weld shut as you feel Megumi turn to you with a wicked grin.
“What do you say, princess? Gonna let me help you out?”
“I’d rather die, actually.”
“That can be arranged.”
You scoff, deciding it would be best to focus on your work once again. You need all of the help you can get in restoring it to its former glory.
Your blood freezes over as you feel Megumi’s seat scrape across the floor. He has no reason to get up other than to go to the bathroom or to taunt you.
He brings all of his own equipment and he doesn’t use paint so he had no use for going to the sinks to get water to clean paintbrushes. You jolt as you feel one of his hands rest on your shoulder and the other on your thigh. He lets his head settle carefully on your other shoulder.
He's examining your sketchbook.
“What do you think you’re doing?” you ask him.
“You’ve done more work than I expected in such a short time, especially after your… unfortunate drinking incident.” he hums, the vibrations go through your ear and make you shudder. He smirks at that. “I think you can do better than this.”
“Okay.” you huff. “Now, tell me what you really want.” you utter, it's like he's undeserving of the effort of your breath. Complete derision drips from your tongue.
He turns his head so his mouth is level with your ear; he wants each and every word he speaks to cut deep.
“I was just wondering if Yuuji has told you about the sports hall presentation I stumbled across yet.” he whispers. The soft lilt in his tone tumbles straight into your ear canal. You want to turn and face him, but when your head moves a little you consider that his lips might find yours again.
“Why don’t you tell me Megumi?”
He tuts, and tuts, and tuts some more. “Oh… I couldn’t do that.” he expresses. “You heard my old man tell me not to interfere, right? I’m sure Mister Perfect will tell you when he’s good and ready.”
He's being sarcastic and patronising. But still, he's right. You’re sure he’ll tell you…
All in good time…
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You gather your things and leave class. It actually doesn’t irritate you that Megumi is walking by your side.
He’s quite tolerable when he’s quiet.
You're a little confused when you arrive at the car park. Yuuji’s car is nowhere to be seen. Toji’s is, though. He steps out to say hello to you again.
“Somethin’ wrong sweetheart?” he wonders.
“Yuuji’s car isn’t here, I don’t—”
“Get in, I’ll take you home.” he says as he opens a door for you to hop in. You nod in agreement. But you think you better text Yuuji in case he comes back to find you.
Having Toji around is really coming in handy for you.
And maybe, just maybe, it’ll help Megumi work through his issues too.
The car ride is awkward as Megumi refuses to speak. Toji makes him sit in the back, like a little kid.
His dad doesn’t care that he's pouting, though. He's being sweet and talkative, asking you about your day and your classes. He picks up on your appearance too, but he isn’t rude about it. He simply asks if everything is okay, and you nod.
You think so, at least.
He waves goodbye through the window as you get out of the car. You're staring at your front door as Megumi gets out and sits in the front. They drive away, and you're still staring.
Why were you so nervous?
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Your stomach sinks as you enter the bedroom you share with your boyfriend. He halts all movements and he looks like a deer in headlights.
He's… packing.
Why the fuck is he packing?
“You’re leaving me—?” you ask him.
“No! Baby, I didn’t want you to find out like this that’s why I came home early.” he tells you as he comes closer to you, but you back away, and it made his heart ache. You’ve never avoided his touches before, you’ve never evaded his desire to love you. “Please let me just—”
“You are. Oh my God! You’re fucking leaving me!” you cry. He's rambling about how badly you need to listen to him, to hear him out. But you can’t. “It's really something that I should have trusted Fushiguro over you.” you spit. You immediately regret saying it, but it's too late to take it back now.
“What the fuck did you just say?”
“Don’t dare try and take the moral fucking high ground when you’re packing your bags to run out on me.” you clap back. He runs his fingers through his hair and sits with his head in his hands on the side of the bed. “You know what?” you ask as you drop to your knees. “I’ll help you pack.” you lie, zipping up his suitcase and picking it up to throw down the stairs.
“Stop it! Put it down!” Yuuji shouts. He wraps his arms around your body so you could do nothing but wriggle and writhe against him.
“Let me go! I hate you! I fucking hate you, Yuuji!” you bawl as you do all you can to get free. Tears stream down your face as you lie to him. You just want to hurt him like he's hurting you.
But it's not just hurting him.
It's killing him to hear you say something so vile.
He knows you don’t mean it, but it's still the worst pain he’s ever felt.
He manages to pull you down onto the bed and subdue you. His eyes water as you burst into loud, unforgiving tears and cover your face. He’s gone about things in the worst possible way. He should have known it would turn out like this, but he really thought he was doing the right thing.
“Baby.” he whispers.
You uncover your face and he was hovers above you. You stop crying for a moment, and he hates how bright and shiny your face was with glittering tears.
It’s his fault.
And yet, for some reason your heart is racing. His face lowers and your hands clasp around the back of his head. Your swollen puffy lips found his in a deep, bruising kiss. You feel all of the air in your lungs escape. You couldn’t get enough of him. How could you say you hate him when you there is so much tension between you to kiss him like this?
But you remember his suitcase and push him away. You swipe the back of your hand over your lips and gather your breath.
“What the fuck is wrong with you, why did you kiss me? Stay the fuck away from me Yuuji.” you pant, your tears breaking free again.
“BABE! Please! You’re so fucking stubborn will you let me talk?” he yellS. “I’m not fucking leaving you, I promise. Not like you think, I need you to let me explain.” he states. You're receptive, but still terrified.
“Not like I think?”
He opens his arms, inviting you inside. You're hesitant, but allow it. He lets out a little chuckle and shakes his head when you ask him if he’s met another girl.
You are and will always be the only girl for him.
He pulls you both down, so you're lying on your sides with your heads on the soft pillows. Your eyes focus on his as you allow him to speak.
“The presentation Fushiguro was talking about, it was about a trip. And it’s mandatory.” he tells you.
This is the best possible outcome.
He isn’t leaving you and he hasn’t met someone else.
Did he really think you were going to go crazy over a weekend trip?
“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want us both to be upset about me leaving. I just wanted to love you as much as I could and have as much sex as possible before I had to go.” he sniffles.
That’s not the type of thing you say when you’re only leaving for a weekend. Your lip wobbles and your eyes filled again.
This is killing him.
He doesn’t want to fucking go. He doesn’t.
“How long will you be gone?” you weep. His eyes close as he tries to hold back his own tears. He isn’t ignoring you, but he knows as soon as he answers it's real. “How long Yuuji.” you whimper.
He breathes. Tears leave his eyes silently, but he quickly wipes them away. “Three months.” he answers, his voice cracked and broken. You break down into tears again and he hugs you closer to him. How are you going to live without him for three whole months? “I’m so- I’m so s-sorry.” he mutters, trying to control his breaking voice.
“Where will you— How far are you g-going?”
“It’s um, a tour of Europe.”
You feel your heart tear and tear with each sentence he speaks.
You’ll be alone in the house with no one to come home to and cuddle each day and night. No one to talk about your day with or tell you about their own. You’ve had relationships end and felt less pain than this.
He's quite literally your other half. The only person who could possibly complete the puzzle of your heart and you're losing that for three months.
“Please just uh- I need you to,” he stumbles over his words. Unable to process what he was actually about to ask, to speak. “Please tell me you don’t really hate me. You don’t, do you? I love you, I love you. Please, I need you to tell me you don’t really hate me…” he speaks with minimal voice breakage.
Tears roll out of his eyes but he manages to keep strong. You, however, are a mess. How could you say something so abhorrent to the man you love, the person you loved more than anything in the world? You wrap your body around him. Crying into him heavily and kiss him all over.
“I love you Yuuji, I’m so so sorry.” you blubber. “I could never hate you. I’m sorry, Yuuji I’m so fucking sorry. I love you; I do. I really fucking love you.”
You're sick. You don’t want to eat, to go to the bathroom, to sleep. You don’t want to waste a single second of time with him.
“I have to leave on Sunday.” he speaks into your hair, almost silencing his voice. After tonight you have one day together. One day before he leaves you for three months.
“I feel like I’m dying.” you confess. He kisses your neck before speaking again.
“I know. Me too.”
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© 2021 fuwushiguro | © 2024 rinhaler
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shadowdaddies · 5 months
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girl… “Crawl to Me” was wonderful!! I loved it!! Could you possibly switch the roles and see some dominant Rhys 🫣🫡
I always knew that Rhys was the biggest switch in Prythian lol. He’s definitely the male who loves it when his partner wants to top every now and then and gladly submits and gets all giddy lol.
thank you💜 Rhys is def a a switch but dom-leaning (he is Illyrian after all) so here's the "crawl to me" with Rhysie on top
Crawl.
dom!Rhys x Reader
Warnings: smut below the cut, oral m!receiving, d/s dynamics, p in v sex, minors DNI, not proofread
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Realizing that your time had run out of avoiding your mate, you slowly made your way up the stairs to your shared bedroom where Rhys awaited. Hand halting on the cold metal of the door handle, you considered if there were any other options than facing him right now.
“Come in, darling,” the High Lord drawled from in your room. Of course he had heard your approach. With a deep breath, you turned the handle and pushed the door open. Rhys sat in a chair by the fire, swirling whiskey in a glass as violet eyes watched your every move. Closing the door behind you, you dared to creep closer to your mate. 
“You embarrassed me tonight,” Rhys murmured, his gaze now on the roaring fire from the hearth. Your head hung low as you nodded, wracked with guilt from your actions this evening. 
It was your first meeting among the High Lords, and you had underestimated just how antagonizing some of them could be. When Rhys had to jump across the table to keep you from smacking Beron across the face, you knew tensions would be high when you returned home.
“It’s hard for me to hear the way that they speak to you,” you admitted, reflecting on how the High Lord of Autumn had the nerve to call your mate ‘Amarantha’s Whore,’ as if Beron didn’t know what Rhys had sacrificed for Prythian. 
Rhys’s gaze softened, understanding exactly what you felt as you waited by the door. You felt love and admiration flow through the bond - an unspoken agreement that Rhys understood your actions. You were defending your mate, and would continue to do so until your dying breath.
You dared to glance at the male across the room, emanating dark power as he watched you with a predatory gaze. Rhysand smirked, looking down his nose at you despite being sat in the large velvet chair. “Crawl to me,” he purred.
Your thighs immediately clenched at the raw power that laced his command, and you began to crouch towards the ground. Rhys clicked his tongue in reprimand, and you froze in your place. “Undress first, darling. I want you ready for me to use.”
You stood back to your full height, eyes locking with his as you slid the straps off of your dress, letting it fall to the floor. Rhys let out a low groan at the sight of your bare body. “Filthy girl, wearing nothing under her clothes to a High Lords meeting?”
You smirked, stepping out of your heels, lowering to your knees. Rhys’s chest was heaving now, his patience hanging by a thread as you lowered to all fours, arching your back to provide him an ample view of your breasts and ass as you slowly crawled towards him. 
Rhys downed his glass of whiskey, legs spread wide as you settled on your knees between them - your palms flat on your thighs as you kept your head down and waited for instruction. 
“Eyes on me, darling,” Rhys purred, one finger crooking underneath your chin as he tilted your face to look at him. You swallowed at the intensity of his gaze upon you, breathing turning erratic as the scent of your combined arousals filled the air. “You know what to do, pet.”
You nodded as Rhys leaned back in his chair, lazily stroking your hair with one hand as you moved to undo his pants. Lifting his hips, Rhys helped you pull the fabric off completely, waving his hand to spirit away his shirt and leave himself bare to you. You absentmindedly licked your lips at the sight of his toned, tattooed chest - yanked from your perverted thoughts by your mate’s voice. “Set to work, then.”
Looking up at him through your lashes, you knew what Rhysand was expecting. You took his hard cock in your hand, licking a long stripe up the vein on the bottom of the shaft. His jaw went slack, but his eyes kept their focus on you as the hand in your hair slid down to gently hold your neck. Bringing your tongue to his tip, you licked the slit before sucking on the head, enjoying how Rhys’s hips involuntarily bucked into your mouth. 
With a smirk, you quickly took him all the way, feeling the head of his cock in your throat as you gagged around it. Rhys let out a loud moan at the feeling, holding you in place until you tapped on his thigh for air. Slightly releasing his hold on your neck, Rhys allowed you to bob up and down on his shaft, one hand working the part you couldn’t reach with your mouth while the other hand gently cradled his balls. “Fuck, darling, just like that,” he groaned and you could tell Rhys was getting close.
Hoping to have him spill inside your mouth, you doubled down on your efforts, picking up the pace as you sucked and stroked him. Rhys twitched inside your mouth just as a hand wrapped around your hair, pulling you off of him. The High Lord panted as violet eyes simmered, looking down at you. “A very nice effort, darling, but I intend to finish inside this pussy tonight,” Rhys drawled, his other hand cupping your chin as he forced you to stand. “Up you go, on the bed. All fours, please.”
You obeyed without thought, walking to the bed and positioning yourself just as you knew he liked, pussy clenching as you anticipated his touch. The bed shifted behind you, one finger lazily tracing up your core. Your head fell forward at the sensation, and you heard the sticky sound of your slick between Rhys’s fingers. “So wet for me, darling. Sucking my cock affects you this much?” he teased. 
You opened your mouth to reply when your head was shoved into the mattress, ass in the air as darkness enveloped your senses. You couldn’t see, couldn’t move, couldn’t think about anything besides Rhys’s firm body behind yours. Warm hands gripped your hips as Rhys lined himself up at your entrance, slowly pushing in until you were full of him.
You were panting, struggling to catch your breath as you clenched around your mate’s cock, earning a hiss from him. Rhys began thrusting inside of you, quickly picking up the pace as he pounded you relentlessly. A hand came down to smack your ass, a lewd moan escaping you at the contact as Rhysand murmured dirty words in your ear. He was hitting the perfect spot every time, overstimulating you without even trying.
“Rhys, please baby, let me come,” you pleaded, and he knew exactly what you needed to tumble over the edge. Dark tendrils held you in place as Rhys continued hitting the perfect place inside of you, his cock twitching as he brought a finger to circle your clit. 
You came with a scream, chanting his name over and over as Rhys came inside of you, the both of you falling to the mattress to catch your breath. You were barely back to reality when Rhys brushed your hair from your face, violet eyes searching yours with concern. “Are you alright? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
You laughed, pulling Rhys close to you and pressing kisses anywhere you could reach. “No, my love. That was amazing,” you admitted, blushing as you tucked your head into his shoulder.
Rhys pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “Well if that was amazing, just wait until you see what I have prepared next for you,” he teased, a dark tendril swiping your core - earning a gasp from you as Rhys let out a dark laugh, setting off towards the bathroom where he drew a bath for you, the evening far from over.
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