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#and if her deal was to help spare the rest of hell it would make sense as a perspective for having her go talk to Charlie

yueebby · 8 months

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sooo i read your "indulge me?" piece and that's why i wanted to ask for gojo simping for reader that doesn't really seem him as more as a friend and he's fine with it (lol he's not but he's need to keep the facade you know???) hope you write it at some point! btw loving you writing so far <333

11:34pm — gojo satoru

contents. highschool!gojo, fluff, he’s so in love bye, underage drinking, tokyo and kyoto students have a little get together!

“what’s wrong with him?” utahime watches her white haired underclassman down another can of beer. it was rare to see gojo drinking with the rest of the group, always opting for a soda instead.

shoko takes another swig out of her drink, unsurprised. “[name] is on a date.”

a pathetic groan leaves gojo’s lips and the upper half of his body is splayed over the kotatsu in shoko’s room, sunglasses long forgotten somewhere. he lets out an unapologetic burp. everyone at the table spares him a glance of pity.

utahime grimaces and mutters a quiet, “gross”.

“don’t provoke him,” geto scolds shoko, flicking some ash from his cigarette to the ashtray below. “she’s just dealing with clan matters. arranged marriages and whatnot.” he used his free hand to land a firm pat on gojo’s back. what kind of best friend would he be if he didn’t try to comfort satoru?

“poor thing. i can keep you company in the meantime,” mei mei’s smile is far from something with good intentions. gojo shakes his head to refuse, but with the way his forehead was pressed to the table, it looked comical. like a child throwing a tantrum.

the only thing that managed to get gojo satoru out of his drunken slump was a soft knock on the door. he could recognize that pattern anywhere. could it be–? the snow haired boy immediately perks up. his drunk dazed eyes brighten as he quickly makes his way to the door.

geto snorts at the way his best friend reacts. he thinks he can see an imaginary tail wagging, as if he were a dog.

“you’re late!” gojo accuses you when he opens the door. you blink.

“are you…okay?” your voice is laced with concern as gojo’s large frame towers over you. gojo preens.

“awww, is my [name] worried about me now? don’t worry, ‘m doing just fine!” there is a goofy grin painted on gojo’s face as he leans against the doorway. all conversation has stopped and every sorcerer was listening attentively to gojo's hopeless conversation with you. utahime can’t help but feel just a little compassion for the boy. he was pining so much it hurt.

“i wasn’t worried. it's just that your words are all slurred– don’t tell me you let shoko talk you into drinking with her again?” you sigh. it was hard to miss the smell of beer on him. gojo and alcohol never mixed well, and the last thing you needed tonight was another lecture from yaga.

from inside her room, shoko shouts, “it wasn’t me this time! the idiot decided to drown himself in beer after we warned him not to!” it was common knowledge that gojo couldn’t handle his alcohol.

the male in question pouts.

“can a man not grieve about the love of his life being married to another?” gojo deflates. on the other side of the threshold, you wrinkle your nose.

“who said anything about marriage? like hell i’m going to accept a proposal from naoya zen’in.” you grumble. it had been a long night. dealing with your family and naoya was enough to scare you into staying in jujutsu tech for good. you’d rather lose your sanity to gojo than your dignity to naoya.

“never mind that though, are mei mei and utahime still here? i was hoping to catch up with them!” you smile, crouching under his arm to make your way into the room. gojo doesn’t hesitate to trail right behind you.

“[name]!” utahime waves happily at you, her mood no longer sour after she sees you. your wave back is enthusiastic. mei mei acknowledges your presence.

“how was dinner with naoya?” suguru asks. your face pinches up. he laughs before handing you a cold can of soda which you accept graciously.

you hear gojo mutter to himself from behind you.

“what’s up with him?” you whisper to suguru.

“you know how he is when he drinks,” he sighs, ushering you to sit beside him. gojo seemed to have his own agenda though, forcefully squeezing himself between the two of you. you shoot him an annoyed look to which he responds with a grin on his face.

“‘m tired,” he whines, stretching his arms dramatically while letting out a loud yawn. you grunt when there’s a heavy weight on you; gojo has thrown his entire body on your side.

you don’t bother pushing him off. you’ve learned in the two years you’ve known gojo that he is like a baby when he gets drunk. it’s best if you let him have his way.

“go to sleep then, idiot,” you flick his forehead. he juts his bottom lip childishly, looking up at you with wide eyes. his eyes are captivating and you think you see nervousness through those azure orbs.

“will you come to bed with me too?” he rests his chin on your shoulder. you raise an eyebrow in surprise.

“eh? why would i?”

“because i’m cute.” gojo bats those long eyelashes of his innocently. you roll your eyes playfully before taking another sip out of your soda.

“you’re weird– that’s what you are.” your lips quirk upward, eyes twinkling with mirth. he sulks, chin still comfortably supported by your shoulder.

“‘m not that bad!” he protests, a frown forming on his lips. you look at him for a long moment. this was the first time you’ve ever gotten to look at gojo this closely.

his hair was getting longer, you note silently. with your free hand, you slowly move a strand of hair out of his face. gojo watches you earnestly. if his cheeks were not already flushed, they are now.

“can we stop it with the flirting? let us single folk live in peace.” shoko speaks up. you turn your attention hastily from gojo to the rest of your fellow peers.

“i feel like i’m intruding on something,” mei mei says scandalously. your eyes widen.

“we are not– no way!” you shake your head repeatedly. no one believes you. especially not while gojo is still resting on your shoulder, eyes watching you, full of love.

“stop giving him all your attention and talk to us! we’re much better company,” utahime scowls, pointing her beer disapprovingly at the white haired boy on you. you think you hear gojo grunt.

“alright, alright,” you concede.

“i hope you don’t mind me asking again, but do tell us how your night with the zen’in kid went,” suguru snickers. you groan exasperatedly.

“where do i even start?”

the rest of the night goes by pleasantly. you had been so engrossed with retelling your experience with dealing with your family that you had failed to notice what gojo was up to. by the time everyone left their respective dorms (or temporary dorms), you noticed the head of white hair sleeping soundly on your lap.

he mumbles something in his sleep, nuzzling himself closer into your stomach. cute. you giggle at how innocent he looks.

you don’t know what took over you, but you remember bending down and placing a soft kiss on his forehead. to your surprise, gojo reciprocates your kiss. to the best of his capabilities anyway. you watch as he puckers his lips in his sleep. oh my– how precious.

you suppose he isn't so bad.

notes. THANK U FOR BEING MY FIRST ANON ASK. ily!!! i saw somewhere that gege confirmed gojo would have drunken failures when he was a student haha this is my take on that. hes so bf

also thank you for all the support on my first post?!? you guys are too sweet im crying. i literally giggle and kick my feet reading your feedback ><

#kt.writes.·:*¨༺#gojo x reader #gojo fluff #satoru gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojou satoru x reader #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojou satoru x you #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x y/n #gojo x you #jjk x reader #remember spring days!au

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jensettermandu · 1 month

Text

six feet under - yu jimin

genre; smut, angst, hurt/comfort

pairing; karina x g!p reader

content; despite the title there's no character death (it's just for metaphors) , unhealthy relationship; lack of communication , difficulty dealing with acceptance/reality , unintentionally hurting e/o , smut; p in v :D , unprotected sex , top karina/service bottom reader , oral (reader giving) , slight breast play , some praising

synopsis; it had always been said that nothing stays the same, it had been said ever since they were little kids and that acceptance of it was important. it helped move forward because dwelling in a past that no longer existed did no one any good. to hang onto something that didn’t exist meant falling to the deepest parts of hell willingly because no matter how much it hurt it felt like it was worth it the second they looked back at what it used to be.

wc; 15.6k+

masterlist.

It had always been said that nothing stays the same, it had been said ever since they were little kids and that acceptance of it was important. It helped move forward because dwelling in a past that no longer existed did no one any good. To hang onto something that didn’t exist meant falling to the deepest parts of hell willingly because no matter how much it hurt it felt like it was worth it the second they looked back at what it used to be.

The silence could almost be dreading, it was so loud that it vibrated through their ribcage. It was so loud with their thoughts that they had no clue what to do. Love could be so many things, couldn’t it? It also meant that love got mistaken a lot of times too. It could make a bed feel comfortable, one they would always want to be at the end of every night, but it would always feel cold with spaces bigger than the ocean even if they were just an inch away.

At times it felt like acknowledging the damage would only damage the rest of the world too if it was brought up. It was for everyone’s best and they could silently try to fix the damage with minimum casualties around them.

They both fell blind and only realised that they forgot to do something about it when they were dragged out of the daydreams and brought back to reality. The daydream that was the past was what made Y/n look away from her monitor once her eyes fell on the time at the bottom corner. She slipped the headphones off of her head, loose bangs falling over her forehead as they no longer were held back by the gear and she turned the chair around. Her eyes fell on the bed that was empty despite it being 0:30 AM.

Routines changed, but they stayed.

It had become a game of avoiding the other to not bring up the actual problems. Y/n indulged in her video games the whole day so they could avoid even looking at each other. She hadn’t spared Jimin a single glance but was now looking at the empty bed with sentiment filling her veins heavily. She deeply inhaled, trying to fill her lungs with oxygen to air out the sadness and hang on to the hope of stitching the torn back together.

It was harder than it looked though when she had no clue how to put together a world that had been caught in a landslide and pulled them apart. It was all drifting apart, burning bridges they couldn’t stop imagining still existed. All they did was stand and look at it happening because there was nothing that they could do about these new feelings.

She placed the headset onto the desk and reached over to the power button on the PC, her index finger coming in contact with it. Y/n pressed it and still deep in lamentful thoughts she held it for a while longer than needed before letting go.

Just as she stood up the door opened and her tired eyes landed on Jimin whose gaze immediately was drawn to Y/n despite how far away they were. It was time to let go, but all that heaviness caused by the thoughts of finally mending their worlds and leaving the one they had built together in the past was hard to get rid of. There were so many reasons that told them to let go, but so many that told them to stay because of what once was their everything.

“I just have to take a quick shower.” Jimin nodded at that as she stepped inside the room, leaving the door ajar as she knew what it meant. It was too cold to fall asleep beside each other on the bed, it was too uncertain of what they should do in the familiar sheets. It was easier to fall asleep alone, but it was difficult to sleep fully through the night if they weren’t both in bed at the same time.

It had become a routine of leaving to let the other fall asleep before getting in bed too. The shower felt agonising, unsure if she had been in there long enough or if she should stay and continue to ponder. Everything around them still felt the same, but on the inside everything was different. Was it because of how suddenly it had happened? Was it because it was scary to let go of something that used to be all their comfort, scared that it was their only comfort after being it for so long? Was it because of how much they still had for each other?

What if they got lost and became wanderers once they would let go of each other and would end up walking life without a goal to reach?

The shower felt like the only place where she could ponder now since it felt like it was too much to cry in front of each other. That would mean that they would have to talk about what was wrong and what they had to do, to do the things they weren’t ready for. The past felt so worth holding onto despite the feelings of the future never looking like they imagined.

It was like every other time when Y/n walked back to the room, she quietly opened it, stepping inside the warmth and the comforting scent of Jimin that lingered in the air. Was it because all these things still brought her warmth and comfort? Her eyes landed on the bed that wasn’t empty this time, but would still feel cold once she settled in it. Never did they do it intentionally, but it had started happening at some point and there was nothing they could do to stop it.

She couldn’t just not care, she always did and always would as she threw her black hoodie onto the backrest of the swivel chair she had been sitting in earlier. It merely made a sound when it landed on the chair and she walked a few small steps over to the edge of the bed where Jimin was lying.

It had become a new routine to just stare at Jimin from a distance while trying to figure out what exactly was wrong between them. She had always adored the girl whether with words or just by looking at her from across a room, but this was different despite the adoration. This always made her eyes look a certain way, a way that whenever Jimin caught Y/n looking at her she could tell what she was thinking and Jimin found herself leaving to wipe away her tears.

So Y/n was crouched down right by Jimin who was asleep on the bed, her head tilting as a small frown adorned her features in thought. The longer she thought the more it all felt like a pipe dream as her eyes lingered on the girl's soft features Y/n adored. The white duvet pulled up to her chin and the younger reached over to Jimin, gently grazing her fingers over the tender skin. Nothing about it had changed, it still felt as good as it always had under her fingertips.

She pushed back some of the loose strands away from the sleeping girl’s face before she pulled her hand away fully, scared that she would wake her up, that Jimin would pull away from her touch, that they would both freeze and then go back to pretending.

Y/n sighed at the feelings she couldn’t decipher anymore and her forehead rested on the edge of the bed for a few seconds as she closed her eyes tightly. Her fists clenched and so did her jaw to shut out everything, the landslide wiped away from her mind, the future too, the past stayed as she fished for the answers from the burning bridge. She was utterly confused, she was so lost in that field where everything had burned to the ground.

Where did it all go? When did it all disappear?

She deeply inhaled and raised her head, shakily letting out her breath, doing it slowly to not wake Jimin up. Her fingers peeled at the cover, the small bear coming into view that Jimin was hugging–it was Y/n’s childhood plushie, but the comfort that it had held once had been transferred to Jimin. She had no clue if Jimin had transferred it further or if she still held onto it. It felt too cold at times, but they were still hanging on to the daydream.

“Goodnight, angel.” Her fists gripped onto the sheets as she left a ghost-like peck against Jimin’s soft cheek while standing up before climbing carefully over the girl to lie down by the wall. Y/n got under the duvet and laid on her back, staring at the ceiling that was empty while her head raced with thoughts that would make falling asleep so much harder. The itch to hold each other, but the fear of it not feeling the same anymore kept them at a distance and so the ache grew, but the silence didn’t dissipate. It was loud enough to mask the sounds of the heartbreak.

Jimin heaved a sigh, her eyes opening in the silent room, knowing that Y/n was lying just behind her, but she wasn’t able to feel her. The simple peck, the brush of fingers against her skin, the goodnight, the innocent pet name; all made her eyes burn hot in the freezing weather that the room was in. It made her stiffen up her lower lip to try and keep them at bay, clutching the little bear harder, burying her nose into its brown fuzzy fur.

Each time she blinked her eyes its fur soaked up the tears, being the only witness of them, the only thing wiping them for her, holding her sorrows inside its small frame. She was afraid that it would overfill soon enough, that the bear would turn salty and bitter from her tears, and that it wouldn’t want to give her any more comfort because of that. She longed, but they flew apart and she couldn’t figure out what exactly she longed for as Jimin felt just as lost and confused about everything as Y/n was.

Was it all broken or just bent? She had no clue, Jimin didn’t even know what exactly it was that was wrong. Or maybe she knew just what was wrong, but pretended that she didn’t?

It echoed in Y/n’s head after the alarm had gone off around 6 AM and she had turned it off–their last rehearsal before they were off to Tokyo, Japan. What their mornings used to look like kept replaying in her head, the sounds of them like an echo of silence now because they no longer happened. There was no room filled with giggles despite it being early at dawn or noon. No words that were sweet affection were exchanged between them. There was no holding each other, hugging, kissing, and just being there with each other, close and content.

Neither could remember the last time they had said an ‘I love you’ to each other.

It used to be always in the mornings, before bed and throughout the day.

It made Y/n exhale while turning to lay on her back as they slept with their backs turned to each other. She tiredly stared at the ceiling unable not to look over at Jimin whose back was still turned to her, it was like a big ice wall fell and blocked them off. ‘It’s fine’ kept repeating itself in Y/n’s head as she pursed her lips and grabbed her phone to see that the time still flew and didn’t wait for them. It did not wait and they were wasting time away from each other when they could be making it meaningful.

The footsteps outside were heard now and Y/n knew that they didn’t have more time to sit and wallow in their sorrows of holding onto something that wasn’t there.

“We have to start getting up.” The girl mumbled just to make sure that the first alarm had managed to wake up Jimin. It did for Y/n because she hadn’t been able to fall into a deep slumber because of all the thoughts.

It was harsh, it was like a strong tornado carrying all types of feelings in it came through the room and cut through Y/n’s skin. “I know, Y/n.” The softness was gone and Y/n bit her lower lip because despite it all they hadn’t been like two snakes around each other, ready to bite and leave venom any second. They hadn’t tried to make it sting more than it already did, but it seemed impossible to do for too long.

The younger still caught the sweet scent of Jimin that made the moment slightly less bitter, reminding her of all the good times when she’d be drowned in the scent. The duvet was thrown off of Jimin who got up from the bed, grabbing the hoodie from the chair on her way and all she left behind was a whirlwind of unspoken emotions after leaving the door ajar when she walked out.

Y/n grabbed the little bear that fell beside her and stared at it, looking for answers in the tears she knew that Jimin was shedding every night. She pretended that she didn’t hear it, that she was asleep, that she simply didn’t know that she was making the girl cry. It was easier that way and in the morning she would look at the bear and still get no answers. She couldn’t acknowledge her silent cries because they would have to do something about everything if she did.

Practice went as usual, almost as usual for the two of them. They both wondered if the rest had noticed their lack of communication and how they occupied themselves with the others to not make eye contact by accident. If they did notice, it wasn’t like any of them would comment on it since Y/n and Jimin’s relationship wasn’t their business.

It didn’t even seem to be Jimin and Y/n’s business anymore as neither of them spoke about it.

Still half panting, Y/n sat on the couch with Minjeong as the two got engulfed in the Nintendo 3DS Y/n had brought with her. There was an emptiness that she hadn’t been able to grow used to, she had become so used to having someone always right next to her for the past three years. It wasn’t constant clinging to each other, but even the small things such as brushing their legs or glancing at each other. The loss of that made a void grow bigger each second and the only thing that would fill it was if things went back to how they used to be.

It made Y/n wonder if Jimin felt the same and so she glanced away from the game, her eyes landing on her girlfriend. She was so used to it so she wasn’t sure if it was Jimin specifically or just a habit that was hard to let go of now, all that affection. The girl was busy talking to Aeri and no matter what they were doing someone’s back was always turned to the other. Y/n’s hoodie-clad the girl’s upper body and Y/n tilted her head, thinking about how maybe that was what brought Jimin the comfort of having someone next to her, just the warmth and scent.

Their confusion about the situation was what made it hard for them to get back to the intimacy they used to share.

The door opened and Ning walked in with their manager, catching everyone’s attention as it got noisier when they started to all converse while making it to the couch. However, Y/n looked back down at the 3DS to occupy her eyes with something for a few more seconds to not try to figure out where Jimin would sit this time.

Aeri was about to sit on the wooden floor, her eyes seeing the lone spot left beside Y/n as Ning was already on the floor by Minjeong’s legs with her drink and one of the pastries. Jimin made sure to insist that she could take the spot, but it still left her in an awkward spot on the floor by Y/n’s legs. Her shoulder brushed against them, bumping into each other constantly and she couldn’t bring herself to sit still, especially not when all the emotions were bubbling inside her.

She couldn’t remember being this emotional before.

How else was she supposed to be when everything felt out of control and she had no clue what to do? There was nothing she could do no matter how hard she tried to catch everything only for it to slip right through her fingers.

Jimin wanted to cry when she took a sip of her drink and something just had to top it all off when her order seemed nothing but wrong. Everything in her life was crumbling, she was in pure distress and despair. However, things only could get worse–they had yet to reach the bottom–and not better because among the cold there was always a warmth as she tried to stop the pout on her lips while staring at her drink.

Jimin felt like a puddle of water in the middle of the road, no one appreciated them and walked around them and all they did was harbour filth; filth being these feelings that only grew bigger, the mess of a puddle becoming bigger too.

She looked up at the hand that took her drink, her glossy eyes meeting Y/n’s for a split second.

The younger felt a heat shoot through her body, it was as if she broke a limb at the pain that she felt seeing Jimin actually harbour these tears and not just cry at night when she thought that Y/n was asleep. It hurt her chest, she cared about Jimin, and she knew that she always would because before she became her lover she was her best friend and member. Maybe that's why it hurt even more. Y/n had no clue who she lost in this silent war they were stuck in.

Was she losing a lover? A best friend? A member?

“You can have mine.” Y/n knew her, Jimin hated it because it made everything even harder and Y/n could see the way the tears grew as quickly as a high tide in the girl’s eyes. She looked hurt, she was hurting, they were hurting, but they continued to do so without saying anything. Why could Y/n tell from a certain pout that Jimin wasn’t satisfied with her food or drink? Why did they have to be so caring for each other? It made cold things warm and they had no clue why things were cold to begin with.

They didn’t want to lose it.

She took the iced green tea she knew that Y/n loved and the younger took her drink. All it took was a sip of it and it all got overwhelming once again because the thoughts didn’t stop crashing inside of her head, exploding and occupying every corner of her mind. It made her wonder if Y/n was busy thinking the same things throughout her whole day too and the thought of being the only one to do so hurt immensely.

“I will be back–restroom.”

The girls hummed, going back to what they were doing as Jimin excused herself, leaving everything behind her and she wished she could do that with the reality that she didn’t want to live in. It was haunting her.

She missed the days when her biggest worries in a relationship were that the promised forever wouldn’t be long enough and not that everything had possibly dropped dead like flies around them, that the forever would never happen. It was a painfully slow dance in a burning room that neither of them left just to see if they could still survive once everything had crumbled fully and the smoke had filled their lungs.

Y/n knew that letting time pass would be too painful to sit through. Nothing was waiting for them. Even if it meant a bigger gap, she gave her 3DS to Minjeong who continued on the game while Y/n had become a pawn in a game no one was controlling. It was a game of chaos no one could cultivate anything out of, no order, no logic, no helpful solutions. This was a game of walking a thin line of nothing and everything.

It was too tiring, walking inside the bathroom felt like getting locked in the confines of a place where no one would ever find her, no one would see her. No one would see if Jimin broke down in the bathroom and it made relief wash over her and the tears spilled like a broken dam. That was all it took and she tried to calm down, but it wasn’t possible as she turned on the faucet, letting it run to drown out her snivels and deep breaths.

It was exhausting to be crying almost every day, she didn’t know what sleep was anymore and all she lived for was sorrow, she lived to continue hurting.

Why did they make something simple so complicated? Love was what made it complicated.

She used the pads of her palms and wiped at her eyes while tilting her head back and letting out a shaky breath. It felt like there was no calming down from this and each second only made it worse. The silence despite the running water, the echoes in the tiled bathroom, and the stalls empty.

Jimin could still remember all the other times she had been crying in the same bathroom when everything felt like it was all for nothing because she couldn’t feel fulfilment despite her achievements. She could remember the way her girlfriend would end up in the same bathroom, coaxing it all out of her, taking all her burdens and carrying them for her. Could Y/n do the same thing now when they both were in the same shoes?

Everything reminded her of Y/n except Y/n herself. They both felt distant and like different people.

Even the light knock on the door was familiar and she took in a shuddering breath, turning to look at Y/n when she opened the door. It fell closed right after, her hands in the pockets of her sweatpants, restricting herself from all those instincts that always kicked in. Her eyes followed the hesitance that was clear in Jimin’s body that pulled to Y/n, but with so much trouble as she held the sleeve of the hoodie against her trembling lips.

“Come on,” Y/n mumbled, knowing that it was all that was needed to get the girl to just break down fully. “It’s okay to not be okay,” she mumbled as she wrapped her arms around the girl’s shoulders who shook in her arms. The hot tears were burning against her pale skin, wetting her neck, trailing down and spilling like they never had before. Her cheek rested against the side of Jimin’s head, pulling her closer to her body, into her warmth because it was all still the same, but it felt different.

What was it that exactly wasn’t okay? It wasn’t just them themselves, but them together and it ended up making both of them not feel okay.

Jimin tightly wrapped her arms around Y/n’s waist, crying into her neck. She got pulled closer, her head being cradled by Y/n’s hand. All of it made it impossible to hold the walls up, the ones that were supposed to show that she wasn’t as bothered by it as she truly was. In reality, Jimin could barely breathe through it without falling into a panic attack. Hearing Y/n’s words, and hearing that it was okay made it so much easier to let it all out, especially when she was with the girl and held by her.

The reassurance that it was okay to cry about the landslide made it easier. Y/n recognised the burdens and Jimin wasn’t alone.

“I’m sorry for how I took it out on you in the morning.” Y/n only hummed, holding her close as Jimin had been a rose with its thorns aimed at Y/n since they woke up. From the harsh words to the ways she blatantly shut her out even when it was a small question not to her girlfriend but to the leader of Aespa. Jimin was scared and it was affecting her role as a leader too, as a member of the group. The fear was consuming her life fully and was getting in the way of everything.

“I’m just so tired and I can barely sleep at night.” Or maybe she could sleep just fine but chose to cry at night instead of closing her eyes. She woke up more tired each day, every little second got more exhausting than the other.

“I know, I’m sorry for all of this.” The younger knew all about it, but what she didn’t know was what exactly she was apologising for. Y/n knew that Jimin was crying at night because of what was happening between them, but she knew that it wasn’t her fault or Jimin’s. It was natural, it would have happened at some point, right? Y/n inhaled, closing her eyes because it hurt her, but seeing how much it affected Jimin made it hurt so much more and it made everything more complicated.

“We can’t keep going without knowing where it’s all heading. I’m confused and–” Y/n stopped her before they got too deep into the truth because neither of them was ready to let go just yet, neither wanted to end it just yet. They needed some more time, some more time to find more than just one option to end their pain. There always was more than one choice.

She pulled away from Jimin, her upper body lingered with the warmth that the shorter girl left after her. Jimin gripped at Y/n’s sweater, knowing that once they let go they would be apart for what would feel like years again. The void between them would become even bigger than it already was and they would avoid it for much longer.

“I care about you, nothing will change that and it’s all fine, Jimin.” She held her face cupped in her hands, tears hitting her skin as the girl looked up at her with quivering eyes. They knew that these false paintings of their relationship would make them feel better for now. Not in the long run, but they tried to live in the present–it didn’t matter if they reminisced and avoided the problems of the present.

Jimin blinked her eyes, trying her best to run into the daydream, trying to escape reality. Her eyes closed, hoping that she would be thrown into her daydream as Y/n kissed her forehead.

She missed the pretty sunset sky, the fireworks, the green grass, the clouds that came in different shapes and would be fluffy. It was like a childish dream and possibly some people had been right when they said that young love was complicated. It wasn’t like they cared, they had always felt like teenagers in love with each other.

Why wasn’t it working though? Where did it all go? It no longer felt like a daydream. It no longer felt like it used to do.

It was so difficult to grasp something that physically wasn’t there, neither of them could grasp it, at the feelings. Love was so beautifully painful the way it painted them with all these different colours. The canvas would always be filled with them and to the eye it would always be beautiful but to the souls that served as the canvas it would always be heaven and hell. Among white there was blue, among blue there was green, among green there was red and it went on.

The daydream was constantly corrupted by the harsh reality.

It was like walking a tightrope.

The smallest mistakes felt deadly.

The stupidest mistakes.

It would be laughable if it weren’t for the fact that there was so much on the line.

It was part of the social culture and Y/n had happened to fall victim to it because a few cigarettes had turned into a pack or two a week. What were her reasons? Probably all that went on in her hectic life, but it hadn’t been easy to sneak around with an addiction. It got especially hard when the dorm arrangements changed because she and Jimin got together.

Y/n had managed to sneak around for a whole two months. All it took was one week of sharing a room with Jimin who gave up on pretending that she didn’t notice the lingering smell of tobacco on Y/n and slowly herself.

‘Fine, I will quit for you.’

‘Not for me. For yourself and your health.’

‘Doing it for you makes it easier.’

‘Only if you don’t start doing it again. It will hurt to think that doing it for me wasn’t enough.’

‘I promise.’

Even the simplest promises were being broken. It felt all the more hopeless.

It was hard, to say the least with starting to dose down on how much she smoked until it was nothing at all. Y/n had never thought of herself as someone who grew addicted easily, but nicotine turned out to be a bitch and even a year and a half after quitting the cravings came back. There were certain times when they were extra tempting, it made her irritated and restless. It was times like these that she always had her substitutes for them, from nicotine patches to nicotine gum or simply Jimin.

This time it felt like Jimin was the cause of the cravings.

The world around them no longer felt real because of how they had surrounded themselves in a fake reality.

“Did you slam the door in my face?” Venom, that was what Jimin spat out, pure venom behind her words as she locked the door to the green room. The rest were out and talking to their label mates, but it was better to make sure they didn’t walk in if they came back earlier. The last thing Jimin or Y/n wanted was for the rest to notice that everything around them was crumbling, that it had all become a smoke screen.

Y/n inhaled deeply, rummaging through her stuff, ignoring the clatter as she was on the brink of losing it. “I didn’t and if I did, it wasn’t intentionally. I had no fucking clue you were behind me.” It was a low mutter, but it was just as poisonous as Jimin’s tone which had been louder. At the back of her head, Y/n had been expecting Jimin to be right behind her, she was the whole reason why she was buzzing with cravings.

“You slammed it in my face and an apology wouldn’t hurt you, Y/n.” Jimin had no clue why she was letting it drag on. She could have dropped it, she was aware that Y/n didn’t know and even if she did, Jimin knew she deserved ten more doors slammed closed in her face.

“You want me to apologise?” Y/n snapped that easily and it had never happened between the two of them–the cravings only made it worse together with the tension of constantly being on their guard not to let anything slip past them.

They never really fought to begin with. All those small fights that never meant anything, that never held any real frustrations, it was different now. Those pent-up emotions came out and spilled right over the head of the other. Y/n wanted to throw it at Jimin because her girlfriend had been doing it since they landed in Tokyo. They were being petty for the sake of being it and not for any good causes. Y/n tossed the stuff onto the table, ignoring the even louder clatter of the things and continued to look through her stuff.

“Called manners.” She commented. It was like she knew that something so simple would irk Y/n more than she already was, especially in this state.

“Oh, so Karina wants to talk manners.” Y/n huffed and turned around, leaning back against the table. Her arms crossed as she gripped onto her arms, hiding the tremor in her fingers as the anger and everything else was overwhelming. She hated fighting with the girl, but it felt inevitable when they were alone in the room with so much tension already lingering between them.

The past couple of fights they’ve had been nothing but hurtful with no apologies after, pretending it never happened to begin with.

Jimin’s eyes squinted at the words, Y/n barely called her by her stage name even when they were on stage. Hearing her bring it up was enough to let her know what Y/n was pointing at.

Jimin was falling under the pressure of juggling work and a relationship she could no longer figure out. It had never been a problem for them, but she felt like she had failed her role in the group by letting personal conflicts get in the way.

Nonetheless, it would be impossible to admit to now when they were in an argument that grew by the second.

“Don’t comment on my work ethic when you barely have yours under control. You’re being sensitive.” She argued, knowing very well that she had been letting her complex emotions and confusion about where she and Y/n were heading get in the way of her professionalism.

“You’re the one crying over a door.” Y/n scoffed in disbelief, pointing at the door in question that was behind Jimin. The girl pulled on the strings of her hoodie in frustration at Y/n’s words. It only fueled her on, she couldn’t remember being able to get this angry with Y/n before, she had never thought that she could get angry with her. Or maybe it wasn’t anger that she felt towards Y/n, but just frustration because of how confusing their relationship had turned. How dead it was.

Maybe she was angry at herself, at the world, or at how confusing love could be. She was angry at the fact that they let it die to begin with.

“Because you slammed it in my face!” This time she let her voice fly way above what she imagined she would, her foot stomping down in frustration. The tears welled up in her eyes so easily, that constant haunting fragile mentality as everything was hurting and it didn’t let her breathe.

“Because you are doing a shit job at being a leader!” Y/n watched Jimin pace around, watching how desperately she tried to get rid of her tears. Those tears of frustration, not knowing how else to take it out she yelled at Y/n and cried, but there was only so much that could cover her tears now.

“Don’t comment on my work ethic, Y/n.” She repeated and found herself in front of Y/n, it almost felt dangerous to be so close to each other at a moment like this. It was scary because they had never had these fights and being so close to what used to be just comfort felt wrong, it felt wrong to bring these feelings into their safety net.

It ruined their purpose, the place they went to when they wanted to escape these feelings, the pressure, the world. It was all truly gone, wasn’t it?

She could feel it all spiral, leaving them with no control over what happened between them in the room.

“Someone has to when you forget how to separate relationships from work. Be a fucking leader and answer a fucking question instead of shutting me out because of our personal life.”

“It’s not easy when this is what it looks like!” She threw her arms, motioning to the mess they were together, the one they both had been avoiding because of how complicated it was. It was hard not to notice, but impossible to truly acknowledge and so it all mixed into everything else.

“Nothing is ever easy for you, is it? That’s why I always become your punching bag when things go wrong.” The words left Y/n bitterly, her hands gripping onto the table behind her as she exhaled these deep breaths that helped with nothing. Watching Jimin with tears in her eyes wasn’t helping, but Y/n felt like the girl had been trampling all over her. She was using her title as a leader and girlfriend in a nonchalant way, she was neglecting Y/n as a member and not a lover.

“That’s not true and you know it.” Jimin knew that it was all true, her tone faltering as she would feel even more guilty if she raised her voice to spit out lies. It hurt too much to say the truth of the situation.

“It has been even more true lately,” Y/n muttered, her eyes leaving Jimin’s.

It felt like the woman in front of her was trying to coax her into forgiving her without Jimin having to apologise. Y/n was done doing those things. She couldn’t put it all aside like all the other times when she accepted Jimin’s apologies she never even said. The ones where Y/n blatantly admitted to being wrong even when she wasn’t because she didn’t want to fight or see Jimin cry.

“Because–because—” Now came the difficult part for Jimin who had no good excuse for this and she knew that she was wrong. The problem bigger than this one was her pride and ego, they got in the way, especially now after how tense everything has been.

“It doesn’t matter. Nothing is changing.” It made Jimin’s heart drop, Y/n’s stomach twisting at her own words that she never wanted to say. It was what it felt like though.

She gently grabbed Jimin’s shoulder to have her step aside as she stood up to walk out the door.

“Don’t say that.” A quiver fell from between her lips, a lump in Jimin’s throat that cut deep and made it all bleed much worse than it already was. Her hand grabbed Y/n’s to have her stay because, in the end, she didn’t want her lover to leave, not just yet and she quickly stopped in front of Y/n. She would never accept those words, not now at least because hearing them made her lightheaded, it made her chest clench and she wanted to collapse onto the floor to be swallowed before she could feel more pain.

“Where’s our manager? I need her to buy cig–”

“You’re not smoking just because things go wrong for us!” It wasn’t possible to speak with a quivering voice, it was too soft so she raised her voice again. She still cared about Y/n as a member, friend, lover and person, it didn’t matter what was going on between them. Jimin would always care about Y/n. Her hand bunched up the material of Y/n’s shirt in her hand as to keep the girl from leaving her. She refused to let go, in the end, she wasn’t supposed to want anything else but Y/n and even if her feelings were different she clung to that idea.

That there was only one person for the both of them.

“Is this something else you want to cry about!? You didn’t bring my shit with you because you’re being petty and expect me to break habits.” It had become a habit, Jimin had become someone Y/n relied on with most of her things. If Jimin had been packing certain things for her it had become a habit that she would do it every time and it never crossed Y/n’s mind to do it herself anymore.

It had never bothered Jimin either and now it was doing nothing but pissing both of them off. Those flaws they had accepted and learned to love before were nothing but a hassle to deal with now and they wanted the other to erase them and change. To change so they could learn to love these new people they would become.

“If you said that you quit for me then fucking keep the promise or will you break them all just because it isn’t working out for us at the moment? And I’m not your mother, Y/n, why do you rely on me packing your fucking things!” She shoved Y/n by the shoulder, wanting to get her away from her even for a split second because she was boiling over with emotions. It would never end well no matter who they were fighting with when there were too many emotions.

Jimin felt conflicted at her own pushing and pulling as she one second wanted no one but Y/n and the other second she couldn’t stand the girl.

“Everything I did for you feels like a waste at the moment when all you give me is headaches, Jimin.” Y/n’s voice was rough and loud, ignoring that they had more performances tomorrow. Jimin could feel the vibrations in her ribcage and she harshly wiped away the tears. It felt like Y/n didn’t deserve her tears at this exact moment, not after those words. She snivelled, still unable to stop them though because how couldn’t she cry when this was what they were now?

They continuously watched what they used to be washed away with each wave that clashed with their shore and dragged away the good to leave filth behind instead.

“I fucking regret even giving you an ounce of my time and life because you’re nothing but a pain to look after. You don’t get to be angry at me because I had to worry about not forgetting my stuff and yours on top of everything!” She couldn’t help but feel like all the blame was now coming her way and maybe she had let Y/n get too comfortable. Jimin couldn’t help it then, but the longer it went on the more she realised that it wouldn’t work that way.

“You’re like a manchild for fuck’s sake.” Jimin groaned out as it continued to dawn upon her how much of an immature child Y/n could be. Had she been blind all this time? Why did she suddenly mind it? Why were these words even leaving her mouth when she had always loved and accepted Y/n for the person that she was? Were they just looking for reasons to make it all stop?

“You made it a habit and I stuck to it. Suck it up the same way I have to suck up when I’m your punching bag whenever things don’t go your way.” Y/n couldn’t help but truly realise how much she always let Jimin get away with. The things she would say, the things she would do that hurt, Y/n always forgave her for every little thing because Jimin could do no wrong in her eyes. Jimin was spiralling right now because Y/n hadn’t forgiven her yet for how she had been pushing the younger girl around for the past few days as a member of the same group.

Here she was, still letting the woman in front of her shove her around and blame her for her own mistakes. The way she always forgave Jimin within seconds when she saw tears in her eyes even if Jimin was in the wrong. Y/n felt played by the older now as she realised how their dynamic had worked.

Y/n would always be the one to take the blame even when it wasn’t hers to take.

Jimin would always be the one to suffer from how much she took on herself willingly because Y/n couldn’t do it.

“You were playing video games instead of packing even after you saw how stressed I was with my stuff. You got upset over your motion sickness patches, your headphones, fucking lenses and now your gum. I’m fucking surprised you packed your clothes!”

“I’m sorry that I couldn’t even enter the room without you getting pissed off because I would breathe. I’m not the one being immature but you, Jimin. You are the one who mixed our relationship into work, you’re the one who isn’t professional–” The older girl could feel herself boil over with anger with each point that Y/n made, each word pushing her closer to the edge. She felt like the points Y/n made were being invalidated, Y/n had yet to accept it for what it was and Jimin hated having the truth about herself being pointed out this way.

“–the one to force habits and then thinking you can just switch them up within a second because you suddenly don’t like what you wanted. Not the whole world revolves around you, but you’ve been too fucking selfish lately to realise it.” Despite all the coldness between them and all that seemed gone, they hung on because every day small things happened that gave them hope–small gestures were enough and they were brought back to the past. It felt as if Jimin hadn’t been trying to work towards each other, but away from each other. “I’m always looking out for you and caring for you.”

Jimin was simply too scared to move anywhere at all because it felt like the smallest mistake would make what was left fall apart fully. She felt paralysed by how scared she was of the truth. It was like having bricks constantly pile on her chest, it was difficult to breathe with them there, and it was difficult to move with them there. The girl felt like she was chained to the pits of hell while staring up at heaven in hopes of it coming down to her.

What it ended with was it looked like she was selfish for being too scared to move, as if she wanted the world to revolve around her. And maybe if it did it would make everything easier for her.

“Go fuck yourself Y/n and stop trying to make yourself look like a hero when you make as many mistakes as I do.” Jimin scoffed and wiped at her eyes as she pushed past Y/n, they both felt completely neglected and invalidated by the other. The reality of what it always has been wasn’t easy to swallow because it had never bothered them until now. She was aware that she made mistakes, but Y/n made them too and couldn’t claim the title of a hero when they did as much caring as they did hurting.

Y/n turned on her heels as Jimin pushed past her, she could see the anger, despair and distress clouding her. It was like a grey cloud over their heads, constantly being there for them when they didn’t want it. “It doesn’t excuse your mistakes either and considering my girlfriend won’t do it, yeah, I will ‘cause she’s too busy being stuck up.” Y/n could tell that the last of her words were too much, that they were too disrespectful and insensitive, and that she shouldn’t even be thinking about it right now. Maybe Jimin was right about being nothing but a ‘manchild’.

Y/n truly felt the consequences of her words when Jimin felt them dig deep into her heart and it was enough to throw everything else out. It was just for a second and she knew she could regret it and feel guilty about it later. The stinging on her palm would subside, but feeling disrespected by Y/n for the first time in her life would linger far longer as she turned back around and landed it across the younger’s cheek.

“You’re an immature fucking child, Y/n. I’m not just for your pleasure and needs, so fucking respect me.” She spat out, holding onto the girl’s shirt with her stinging hand as it all shut Y/n up. The two were able to very clearly see through each other like glass, it wasn’t even like glass, but air from how clear it was and all they could see was pain and hurt. They caused each other pain and hurt and everything else they used to make each other feel was gone—but then came those moments where it wasn’t gone even if it was for a second and so they held on.

They both felt horrible as Jimin grabbed her things while wiping her tears, not sparing Y/n more glances. All she knew was that she needed to cry to let it all subside for even a bit. Y/n slumped down on the couch, the nicotine cravings slapped out of her. She held her cold palm against her cheek trying to ease the pulsating pain she knew she deserved and Jimin did too as they both were suffering for keeping each other chained down.

Maybe they had never been perfect, to begin with.

Were all these things stuff they had always wanted to say and they now took the opportunity to do so since everything was already falling apart? Did they hold back on saying these things before because they were scared that they would ruin everything? Or were these things something that should have been brought up a long time ago to make it work out?

They couldn’t answer that. No one could because it was too late.

Jimin had known that she would feel bad after, that the guilt would eat at her. She was terrified that their relationship had taken a new step forward, towards a goal they didn’t want to reach when Y/n slept in Minjeong’s hotel room. The two peers–in age–were close in the end and so Jimin spent the night tossing and turning wondering if the truth would come out now. That their love was under ruins, crushed and bleeding to death, setting the truth in stone and burying what they used to have six feet under to start a new life.

She wondered if Y/n spent the whole night awake. Jimin could barely fall asleep knowing they were in the same bed, but with their backs turned to each other, let alone after what happened. She could barely sleep because of how her insides twisted in hopes of escaping to get away from the excruciating pain. The part of them being away after what went down only made her even more anxious.

The girl got her answers the next day when Y/n was tired and Minjeong went on about her day without a single knowing glance or word.

They had avoided each other unless they were on stage, but the second they came off it was back to normal. The new normal, they both missed the old normal but they seemingly couldn’t go back to it.

Or so they thought because once again all that they had been missing poured over them like a rainstorm.

The simple idea for all of them to go out and eat after the days of performing. There had been an undoubtful tension between the two and not for the same reason they would like to think. It felt horrible to sit beside each other without having apologised for what had happened. However, the longer they sat at the table the closer they seemed to get, but it could have been the alcohol in their veins.

“I swear, it’s the first time these two aren’t all over each other.”

Y/n felt a slight heat shoot through her, one of anxiety at Ning’s drunken words because now everyone seemed aware of the situation. It could have been the fact that they dared to speak up about it when they were drunk. Y/n didn’t know what it was, but she toyed with one of the side dishes, knowing that she and Jimin always got more affectionate when they were drunk.

“Tired, that’s all…” Y/n mumbled, trailing off as she looked over at Jimin who sat right beside her–the rest continuing the chatter. The two had been coming closer and closer with each shot of soju and every beer they finished. They could feel the other's heat on them, craving each other in this state no matter what had happened between them for the past months. They craved the affection of the other so much that it hurt, it was boiling from the inside and they were waiting for the other to cave in so they could be close.

She watched for a second more as Jimin struggled with the marinated perilla leaf, lip between her teeth as she gently swayed, going over her limit this time. Y/n would always be the one to cave in for the older girl. Jimin rarely drank more than she could handle and even that was a lot, but Y/n could tell she was trying to drown herself further. The older woman was already drowning in all her emotions and trying to drown them in alcohol only intensified it all and Jimin felt like she would burst any second and start begging in front of everyone else.

Y/n turned in her seat the slightest, her attention on the woman who was still the most beautiful one she had ever seen. The one she desired, but it was all so different no matter how beautiful they both were to each other. Her right hand reached over to Jimin, brushing the hair behind her ear and reaching with her left for the leaf.

Eyes were glossed over, like polished glass from alcohol when Jimin finally looked up and Y/n picked up the leaf, her hand still holding back the hair so it wouldn’t get in the way.

It was crushing both of them. Jimin felt her world brighten up with hope that had no space in their world anymore, but she wasn’t letting go yet. Y/n fed her with eyes gazing over Jimin’s features, feeling excruciating pain at the fact that she had made her cry, at the fact that they kept hurting each other unintentionally by holding on. It was worth it when these moments still managed to slip through the cracks and let in some light.

Y/n let go of the latter's hair and wrapped her arm around Jimin’s waist when she leaned into her, resting her weight on Y/n’s side. Her hands found Y/n’s warmth as they pushed under the girl's loose sweater, doing all the holding on that she could.

“I miss you.” They were sentimental words as Jimin gently whispered, her breath brushing over Y/n’s neck and the younger girl pulled her closer. Y/n took in a deep breath at how homesick she felt for a home she no longer had. They missed each other, they missed what they used to have, but no longer did and it dug into their hearts with no care, tearing them into pieces at how messy it felt.

“I miss you–miss us,” Y/n mumbled, their world shutting the rest out, inhaling the smog-filled air of everything that had burned down to ashes. Jimin hummed as her eyes closed, hoping that the drunk sentiment would be able to suffice for now even if it was for just one night. All they needed was one night to figure it out, to get to feel what they missed and see if they could bring it all back to life. She felt Y/n’s soft lips press against her head and she nuzzled her face further into the scent that used to be a home and now was only what was left of one.

Her lips gently pressed over Y/n’s skin, her nails gently scratching over Y/n’s back as she moved her other hand up. She cupped the younger’s face, thumb caressing the porcelain-like skin she deeply regretted putting her hand on but she couldn’t regret it when she thought back on what they said to each other. Jimin deserved to suffer for her actions and Y/n deserved to suffer just as much. They would continue until they did the necessary.

Y/n got her head tilted down and looked at Jimin who rested her head against the younger’s shoulder. Her eyes pleaded for a remedy for all the heartbreak even if it was for just one night. To just get away from reality for a few hours. Her fingers brushed over Y/n’s cheek. Y/n gave a small nod and reached over for the beer she had left, finishing it and hoping it would all last long enough and not end the way it did a few days ago.

“Will you guys mind if we leave early?” The girl asked, but it was already set in stone as she grabbed her jacket and helped Jimin up. They looked over at the two who were closer to each other than they had been for the past few months as Y/n put her jacket over Jimin.

“Not at all,” Aeri replied, the rest humming in agreement.

It was a short walk to the hotel, wrapped up in each other the whole way and not letting go for a second as they walked in silence, scared to let go or say something that would make it difficult to be this way again.

They at last did let go as they walked inside the hotel room, but it all shifted for a second as Y/n kicked off her shoes and sat down at the foot of the bed. There was no escaping this landslide, the clash that destroyed so much as she missed what she used to have with Jimin, but had no clue if they could get that back. It tied knots around her heart and tugged on it constantly.

The latter managed to get her shoes off, the jacket falling after her as she walked over to Y/n. Despite the slight blur, she could see clearly through everything else and now was the only time she knew she could apologise.

It used to be easier.

“Y/n…”

The girl took a deep breath and looked away from her hands and at Jimin who kneeled beside her. Her chin rested against Y/n’s thigh as she stared up at her girlfriend, her lower lip slightly jutted out. The younger one hummed, her hand running through Jimin’s hair as she caressed her scalp gently, missing the touch of someone else. The back of her fingers trailed over Jimin’s cold cheek who grabbed hold of Y/n’s hand, intertwining their fingers.

The silence braced them as they stared at each other, heads tilting, ears filling with the heavy yet soft breaths from alcohol-filled veins, the buzz of the outside world only faint. That silence of acceptance of what their love was, what it used to be and how it no longer was.

Jimin heaved a sigh and rested her cheek against Y/n’s thigh, staring off into the dimly lit hotel room. The sentiment of sorrow, sadness and nostalgia as everything had become too farro reach now and it would be hard to save anything. If they could continue to pretend then everything would go back to being fine. If they lived a lie long enough, it would become their reality.

“I’m sorry about the other day—” She mumbled, slumped on the floor and her gaze moved as she tilted her head to look Y/n in the eye. Their eyes connected, filled with the buzz of alcohol, and the perception of the fake reality they had created in their head washed over them. Those small gestures that made hope wash over them wouldn’t change anything, would they? They didn’t want to think about it. “I shouldn’t have raised my hand,” her lips momentarily formed into a pout at the disdain she felt for her actions.

Jimin knew there was no excuse for it even if she felt like an emotional wreck. They were losing control and it was starting to deeply affect them. They were going full speed through crossings with no hands on the wheels, covering their eyes to not look at the truth and soon enough they would crash right into a wall.

“It’s okay, it’s fine,” Y/n always let Jimin get away with everything and nothing would probably ever change that.

Jimin shook her head, lifting it from Y/n’s thigh as she got up to stand on her two feet. Y/n’s fingers tangled into the sweatshirt the girl had on as she stood between her legs. Despite the slight tremors in Jimin’s fingers, buzzing with more than just alcohol, but also a surge of feelings, the uncertainty, longing, feelings of loss and hope; she cupped Y/n’s face in her hands. Her touch was soft as Y/n’s glimmering eyes met her.

“I shouldn’t have acted the way I did either.” Y/n mumbled, closing her eyes and resting in Jmin’s hands who caressed her features with her thumbs. They still would always melt at the affection because it was normal to crave, but it didn’t feel like it used to. Aside from it feeling good, those other things didn’t spread across them. “I’m sorry.”

That sorry felt like it was for more than what happened in that room and Jimin knew it. She knew that the apology was because they both genuinely felt bad for letting a promise of forever die.

‘I love you.’

‘Never stop loving me, Y/n.’

‘I will love you forever, I promise.’

‘I will love you forever, Y/n, I will always care about you.’

‘Don’t cry, Jimin, I’m always here for you.’

Jimin deeply exhaled and closed her eyes before she could let the tears even form and with a lump in her throat she closed the gap between them. Their lips met in a kiss to suckle on the hope left in them. It was eagerness, it was to forget and not to remember. Y/n’s hands grabbed hold of Jimin’s hips, pulling her closer.

They tilted their heads to meet tongues that tasted as bitter as the beer they had and the longing for what they had lost, as sweet as the sake they downed and the reverie they lived in. It was with desperation because it felt like it was the last of them that was left and they would do everything to latch onto it and stick forever. The forever they had promised.

Jimin ran her fingers through Y/n’s hair, pushing deeper, wanting to feel more, she needed more. She needed Y/n, she missed the touch against her body and that was all that it felt like for them now. The fulfilment of each other’s needs and nothing else as Jimin discarded Y/n’s sweater, letting it fall to the floor. Her cool hands ran over the warm skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps, emotions swirling under their skin as they pulled away to remove Jimin’s top.

Their eyes locked, looking for something, searching, but they had no clue what they were trying to find anymore. It ended quicker than expected and their lips met once again, meeting tongues and letting out desperate sounds. Y/n’s fingertips grazed over Jimin’s skin as if the girl was made of gold, the gentle and careful touch making the latter bubble with more need. She ran them over her sides, tracing every ridge, coming to her spine with one hand as the other slid over her ribs until she reached the hem of Jimin’s jeans.

With ease she undid them and as they fell to the floor the older girl straddled Y/n who huffed at the weight that pressed down against her growing cock. As Jimin looked Y/n in the eye, the girl reached over to her face, brushing away the black strands of hair. She could still see a sparkle in Y/n’s eyes, but it was flickering. It wasn’t there for the same reasons that it used to sparkle. This was for the lust that would always linger inside their veins.

“Make me feel good, you owe me this,” Jimin mumbled, knowing that they both owed each other this for the things they had been putting the other through for the past months. This was finally their chance to make the other feel good in a way that was more than just sentimental. There was no sentiment in lust because it had never been part of it, but now it ruled them.

She grabbed Y/n’s hand which was still by her face and captured those sweet lips while guiding the hand to the back of her bra. Jimin trailed her kisses away from Y/n’s lips and along her jawline, slowly going further and nuzzling her nose into her neck. The scent was still one of her favourites. She took it in and ran her tongue over the skin before wrapping her lips around it.

It made Y/n stall with the bra, a faint whimper falling from between her lips as Jimin slowly started to gyrate her hips, rolling her heat against Y/n’s that was straining against her jeans. “I want your lips on me Y/n.” She breathed out against the red mark, wanting to feel the pleasure, they both wanted to be brought out of this hell they had painted as heaven. This was their chance.

Y/n bit her lower lip, her neck being plated with kisses by Jimin all while the girl continued to press against her cock, grinding slowly while releasing shaky breaths between kisses. The girl managed to undo the bra and only then did her girlfriend pull away, letting Y/n remove it fully whose eyes focused on her chest right away. Jimin’s words hadn’t fallen deaf to her ears and all she wanted was to give the girl exactly what she wanted. This was the only thing that they could make work.

“I love every inch of you.” Any other time the words would burn within Jimin’s soul and leave their mark and they had done so permanently, but they no longer reached as deep. They were all for the outside as they had changed from the inside towards each other.

Her fingers tangled at the back of Y/n’s head, gently making her look her in the eye as she tilted her head. “Show me instead.” It was like a whisper, her lips ghosting Y/n’s, knowing that she would be able to feel more from actions rather than words now.

Y/n manoeuvred them, laying Jimin down on the bed, legs wrapped around her waist as she stood by the edge of the bed. The girl bunched up the duvet beside Jimin’s head, taking one last look at her chest before she leaned down to show how much she appreciated her body. With fingers tangled in her hair and nails scratching her scalp Y/n started to leave scorching kisses along Jimin’s skin.

Her tongue soothed over the pulse, tenderly kissing down, her kisses tickling as she trailed down, taking in the soft hums and breaths that the girl let out. She came down to her collarbones, grazing her teeth over them, leaving her marks after her as those were the only good ones they managed to leave on each other now. Everything that went deeper hurt.

A faint gasp left Jimin’s mouth when lips fervently latched onto her chest, all the heat running through her body and shooting straight to her aching clit. “Fuck,” was all that she could mutter at the warm tongue playing with her nipple, sucking on the tender flesh. Y/n’s devotion to what was left of them was shown through the way she consumed her flesh, leaving her bites to linger.

Y/n moved her mouth to the other nipple, her hand coming down to fondle the older’s chest. It was enough for more sounds to start coming from Jimin at the way her nipples were being played with and her chest littered with kisses. It made her thighs tense around Y/n’s waist, pulling her closer and when the rough material pressed against her cunt a moan fell from her lips. The younger girl hummed, pressing more against Jimin while toying with the hard nipples with her mouth and fingers, twisting and pulling, touching her in a way only she knew.

It was yet another thing that was hard to let go of. The fact that they knew each other’s bodies so well and knew exactly what to do. It was all working against what should be done and driving them towards pipe dreams.

Her chest heaved, losing her words as they all came out breathless, being greedy for more to fill all the emptiness that had been growing for the past months. “You’re so good, baby.” She hummed, her eyes closing as her mind finally went empty, it went silent with everything else and all they could focus on was the moment and not what was and what would be. It was enough to make Y/n’s hips press more into Jimin, slowly moving them for friction while leaving the older’s chest glistening.

She slowly started to move down further, kissing along the heaving slim stomach until she was on her knees in front of Jimin. The lacy black underwear seeped through with her arousal and Y/n’s fingers hooked at their hem, looking up at Jimin who was sitting up and looking down at her with lust-clouded eyes. She leaned back against her palms, raising her hips and letting Y/n peel off the last piece of her body.

Her hands ran over Jimin’s thighs, spreading her legs further apart while biting onto her lower lip at the view of her glistening pussy that was leaking with juices. She lifted the girl’s leg and rested it over her shoulder before she started to kiss along her inner thighs, gently biting and sucking on the soft flesh as her hands needily kneaded them. It made Jimin heave a sigh, her hand coming to grab hold of Y/n’s head, dwelling in the feeling of the butterfly kisses left along her inner thighs.

Through her hooded eyes, she watched Y/n, making eye contact every time the younger looked up through her lashes for approval of what she was doing despite knowing Jimin’s body better than most things. Her fingers pressed into the flesh as her arm was wrapped around one of her thighs, inching closer until she reached the girl’s heat. It was enough to make the older girl squirm the slightest when she got pulled closer to the edge before feeling the wet muscle drag between her folds.

Y/n grabbed hold of her waist with her free hand, holding Jimin in place to not have her squirm too much. Her tongue ran between her folds, spreading the wetness as she dipped her head and circled the grasping hole. The grip on her hair tightened, ears being filled with soft moans and whimpers as she continued to work her tongue and lips around the puffy cunt. She sucked on her lips, enjoying the mess that was spreading on her chin, lapping every little bit up to get more on her tongue.

Jimin slowly felt herself lose her mind at the teasing tongue, Y/n taking her time to continue working her up. The need continued to bubble inside her, her clit throbbing for attention and her hole clenching as she wanted to be filled until she would feel numb in the brain for at least a few minutes. This was finally something they could grasp at, the escape from everything even the daydream they had created, getting to a real one even if it wouldn’t last too long.

The light moans filled the hotel room when Y/n’s lips at last wrapped around her swollen clit, her tongue coming out to flick at the bud. The pace between slow and fast, sucking and flicking was making Jimin’s thighs tremble around the girl’s head. Her fingers were tangled in Y/n’s hair, pulling her closer to her pussy as her hips faintly bucked at the pleasure.

Y/n drowned, getting as much pleasure from drowning between Jimin’s soft thighs as the girl above her was feeling from the tongue that was toying with her needy cunt. She caressed her heaving stomach with her other hand, kneading the plush flesh of her thigh as she felt Jimin pull her further into her with her leg that was on her shoulder.

“Fuck, Y/n–” She whined, her breathing picking up and growing heavier the longer her clit was played with. She could feel it all slowly approaching her and soon enough she would reach the edge and fall off of it.

The girl dipped her head, her nose rubbing against the swollen clit and her tongue lapped at the juices. The room filled with the sopping sounds of Jimin’s pussy and moans and Y/n’s mouth messily eating her out, moaning at the taste and tugs on her hair, her cock throbbing at how good it felt. With the sticky mess collected on her tongue, she circled her clit and went back to flicking at it and tugging with her lips.

“So close, ‘m so close, baby.”

Her body started to tense up, Y/n’s ears muffled at how the thighs locked around her head with her head being held in place. It made her sore tongue work harder to be able to hear Jimin’s voice go up higher.

That was enough for the older girl to lose her control and the sounds started to spill from her mouth, moaning Y/n’s name in a high pitch. Her body got consumed by heat as her vision blacked out and her ears started to buzz when the orgasm hit its peak as Y/n continued to flick at her clit. It was making her whine and buck her hips for more until she felt herself crash back down to reality. She heaved for air, loosening her grip on Y/n’s hair and the girl slowed down, only leaving small kisses along her skin that was scorching.

When she got back up on her feet their lips met in a vivid kiss, Jimin’s hands working on Y/n’s jeans to undo the loose material. She tugged them down together with Y/n’s boxers, her hand wrapping around the thick cock that was scalding in her hold as she pumped it, smearing the precum as she reached the swollen tip. The whimpers that fell from Y/n’s lips were swallowed by Jimin, moaning into the intense kiss.

She pulled Y/n down, making her lay down on the bed, the younger girl moved back until she was in the middle of the bed, leaning against her elbows. Her eyes were on Jimin who got on the bed before crawling over to her. They got engulfed in each other's heat as she straddled Y/n who slumped back, running her hands over the girl’s thighs and to the back of her ass to caress it.

“No one knows me like you do.” She whispered, leaning down and letting her lips brush over Y/n’s with her fingers tracing along her jawline. No one knew Jimin like Y/n did and no one knew Y/n like Jimin did and even if it looked the way it did, they carried that fact with pride. She pecked the girl's lips, pulling away and letting Y/n chase after her as she tried to grab hold of Jimin’s face, but got her hands pinned down to the bed.

“Jimin–” She tried although was cut off as she let her head fall back against the mattress, fingers twisting the duvet as her wrists were held down by the girl on top of her.

“I hate that now.” She admitted, hating that no one knew her as well as Y/n and that no one would ever get to know her as well again. They had learned from their mistakes and now no one would ever be able to compare. There was no one she would open up to like this again, not when it hurt so much when it all died. They didn’t want to go through this pain twice when they never wanted to experience it to begin with.

“I know.” Jimin huffed, her lips brushing over Y/n’s neck because obviously, the younger girl would know that Jimin hated it now. “Do you regret it?” Y/n mumbled, doing her best to not squirm under the girl who was leaving light kisses along her neck. The words from the other day still lingering, but Jimin knew that she never meant what she said about regretting it.

“No matter how much it hurts–” Jimin pulled away and looked Y/n in the eye, the younger’s head tilting to the side as she stared up at her with hopeful eyes. Y/n’s eyes alone were enough for Jimin to know the answer, she knew it right away as she reached her hand down to Y/n’s face, one still holding her wrists down. Her thumb tenderly caressed along Y/n’s cheek and over her lips. “I could never regret everything I’ve given you.” And everything she gave was all that she had after she placed herself in Y/n’s hands and she would always be there even if what made her give herself in the first place had withered.

Her thumb tugged down on Y/n’s lip before she leaned down and attached their lips once again. Sighs fell from between their lips, Jimin’s hand running between their bodies to grab hold of Y/n’s cock.

Y/n pulled away from the kiss, panting for air as her eyes fell between their bodies, watching Jimin drag the swollen tip through her folds, the slickness and warmth were enough to make Y/n bite back a whine at how good it felt. The grip on her wrists tightened when her tip made contact with Jimin’s clenching hole, slowly pushing into the tightness that sucked her in.

“So tight.” The younger mumbled, her chest heaving at the anticipation as she watched herself slowly disappear inside of the girl on top of her, splitting her folds with her cock. The tight walls engulfed her length, grasping it and sucking her inside with greed as they continuously clenched at the stretch.

“You make me feel so full.” Jimin sighed with a whine at the slight pain.

Y/n’s eyes stayed glued on how her cock got engulfed by Jimin’s tight pussy, splitting her lips around the thick shaft and she slowly moved. The older girl hummed, letting go of Y/n’s wrists. Both her palms rested on top of the girl’s stomach with her nails slightly digging in at the painful stretch. Hands caressed her thighs while she lowered herself until she felt Y/n deep inside her, filling her to the hilt.

Y/n dropped her head, shutting her eyes tightly when she was fully inside Jimin who let out a light moan at the feeling. Her cock was throbbing, twitching at how good it felt, the warm and wet walls were pulsating around her and her stomach flexed with every little move.

She slowly started moving her hips back and forth, her clit still sensitive from her first orgasm as it dragged along Y/n’s pelvis. Her walls fluttered, and being filled up was making her crave more at how good it felt. The feeling of Y/n’s veiny cock raw inside her tight cunt was overwhelmingly good, making out each vein that dragged along her walls.

She gyrated them as they whined back and forth on Y/n’s dick whose lips were parted at the way it dragged along the clenching walls. Her ears were graced by Jimin’s soft gasps and sighs, nails digging into her stomach. The older’s thighs flexed, her walls pulsating and clit throbbing as she slowly increased her speed, chasing her pleasure by using Y/n.

“I love using your cock to make myself feel good,” Jimin whined, her head getting thrown back and Y/n groaned at the words that made her dick ache inside the hot and wet cunt of the girl. Their bodies moved and fit together perfectly like waves that collided against waves, their bodies buzzing with that feeling from the inside as their head splashed with desires.

Her chest heaved at the sight of her girlfriend grinding along her cock, watching how she chased her high once again. The sounds were starting to get more lewd with each moan falling from the girl’s lips, Jimin’s wetness coating Y/n’s base and the mess only got bigger.

“You look so good doing it.” Y/n could feel the way the walls clasped around her at the words, the girl taking all the pleasure in using Y/n for her benefit as Y/n enjoyed it just as much. The way the girl would go on and have her orgasms before Y/n even got to think of hers.

Jimin was on top of her with a vice grip on her cock with her sopping cunt. Y/n’s hands were on her the thighs flexed with each movement and her tip was hitting all the right spots deep inside her. She watched the way the older gasped and threw her head back, dragging her swollen clit along Y/n’s pelvis. Jimin reached behind her and held onto Y/n’s tense thighs instead, rolling her hips in a way that was making her stomach tighten and warm up as she fucked herself on top of the girl.

“I’m so close, baby–fuck, so good.” Her voice cut into a higher pitch as the orgasm started to wash over her with her hips bucking for more and Y/n’s thumb found its way to her swollen clit. She circled the bud as Jimin kept bucking her hips against her, watching the way her chest bounced with each movement.

The throbbing walls clasped around her cock, squeezing it tightly enough for the movement to slow down. Her thighs quivered and she let out cries of pleasure, her voice light and bringing Y/n closer to the edge at how good she looked on top of her. Nails dug into Y/n’s thighs, heat pouring over Jimin’s whole body at her second orgasm.

She heaved for breath, stopping her movement and shivering at the shocks going through her warm body. Her body got engulfed in Y/n’s arms when the girl sat up, her cock still buried deep within the confines of Jimin’s pulsating pussy. She wrapped her arms around Y/n’s shoulders, palms running over her back which was covered in a sheen of sweat.

As Jimin looked at Y/n, she didn’t want to be done yet, she wished she could drag this out for the rest of her life. To make this serene moment last forever as their bodies became one and all that had been on her mind disappeared. Those worries were gone, it was just now, the present forgotten and the future didn’t exist until it was tomorrow and by then it was present again.

She tangled her fingers at the back of Y/n’s hair, slowly moving up and down while pulling Y/n more into her. Their breaths mingled, parted lips grazing until she caught Y/n’s lower lip between hers and gently tugged. It was all that they needed, to be back in each other’s arms, to be close and it started to ignite the spark of hope although it didn’t seem to glow strong enough as it continued to flicker back to life before disappearing.

“I miss you–so much,” Jimin mumbled as she pulled away, moving her hips back and forth as Y/n’s breaths grew heavier. The younger buried her face in the crook of her neck, planting tender kisses. Jimin could feel it all coming back, maybe she hadn’t been drunk enough, or maybe no matter how drunk she was on lust and alcohol she would never be able to drown out the pain of a breaking heart.

The alcohol and lust weren’t able to mend their hearts.

Y/n looked up when Jimin pulled her away from her sweltering neck, their eyes met, Jimin’s were glimmering and the entry to her soul had always been open for Y/n. The longer she stared into the window of her soul, the more she realised how crushed Jimin was and it was enough to clarify that they were both suffering. Her hand smoothed over Y/n’s jaw, running along it as she tilted the girl’s head back, her movement not stopping as she watched Y/n slowly crumble under her.

It was shattering her insides to see Y/n this way, the same way it was shattering Y/n to see Jimin like that. They had never thought that the person they loved the most would be the one to destroy them the most too.

Love was lethal no matter how much two people loved each other.

“Fuck–” Y/n breathed out, being cut off by Jimin’s soft lips, the girl could feel the length inside her grow harder and twitch as it was clasped inside her heat. They swallowed each other’s moans until they no longer could and the older’s pace picked up, her ass colliding with Y/n’s thighs each time she went down while letting out quick and sharp breaths. Y/n’s hands gripped onto her ass, fingers digging into the soft yet firm flesh as she helped Jimin move, feeling the movement slack off at times.

A soft and light moan escaped Jimin’s lips, grounding herself down on Y/n’s cock, arms wrapped around her shoulders as she panted against her neck. Teeth dug into her shoulder, the whimper suppressed from the younger as she could feel the ropes of cum shoot one after another into her, painting her walls white. Y/n pulled away from her shoulder, slipping out of Jimin’s warmth as they eased down to reality.

Everything stilled as the younger girl still held Jimin in her arms, caressing her warm back while taking deep breaths. It felt like neither of them planned to move any second as the girl snuggled closer into Y/n’s neck, burying her face in the crook of it, her eyes shutting tightly.

It was making Jimin’s chest heave at the panic she felt because she could only watch it all slip through her fingers, unable to do anything to save it.

The attempt to suppress her sobs was feeble as the first one slipped through and then a second followed and her tears were staining Y/n’s skin once again. “Jimin–”

“I’m scared, Y/n.” She cried into her neck, sobbing and snivelling as it overwhelmed her once again, this time she wasn’t able to hold back on releasing what was heavily on her chest. It didn’t matter how scared they were to bring up the obvious because the thought of how it would end was terrifying. Neither wanted it to end. However, the realisation dawned upon them and it would all end much sooner than intended if they did nothing about it.

“I’m right here.” Y/n slowly pulled her away, manoeuvring Jimin’s body like fragile butterfly wings that could crumble with a little too much pressure. The girl continued to cry, pulling her knees to her chest, crying into them as Y/n draped the duvet over her, covering her naked body.

She couldn’t grasp at it, at how all the promises died the second their love did, that they made promises they couldn’t keep and it never should have been this way. They promised to love each other forever and they did, but it no longer was the love that was beyond care and compassion. It was adoration and not love, the love; was gone.

Jimin refused to accept it, no, she couldn’t accept that and would dig through every little corner until she found something that would help the withered flower bloom back to life. She’d shed all her tears until her eyes would be bleeding just to have enough to water their flower of love that had died. There had to be some way to save it even if it hurt, even if it hurt more than it already did.

Y/n got back onto the bed after she pulled on her boxers, Jimin was still crying into her knees until the younger girl sat behind her, the duvet resting over the both of them. She held back on her tears as she cradled the weeping girl’s head, lending her shoulder to cry on once again and she would continue doing so until her last breath. It would never matter what type of love they held for each other, she would always care even if everything else they used to have that was deeper had died.

It was a death neither of them knew how to cope with.

“I’m here for you.” She reassured her, kissing the top of her head.

“I hate this, Y/n—” Her sobs cut through her words, her hands gripping the duvet before they let go, feeling hopeless; what was there to hold on to in reality? There was nothing to hold onto as they both freely fell through hell for each other. It made them weak in so many ways. “Nothing is the same anymore and I don’t know what to do.” Acceptance was hard for anyone, it had always been hard, but it was even harder when it came to something they made their whole lives revolve around. How could they just accept that their worlds no longer circled the other?

It stung, it hurt deeply to think that this was possible, something they had never thought about had become their reality. The flower that bloomed with their love was dead. Yet these tears and the pain they felt at the thought of needing to let go made them want to try again. One last try to revive something that had been dead and cold for months. If some miracle happened, they would be able to bring it back to life. Their love would bloom from a dead flower at some point, they would continue watering it with their tears, crying over the dead flower that was their love in hopes of it coming back to life.

“We can make it work again.” Y/n wasn’t brave enough to say the words, she wasn’t strong enough to say them for Jimin and herself. To admit for the both of them that what was lost was lost and that it was time to say goodbye and bury their love because there was nothing to save once it was already gone.It was too difficult to bury it when they had yet to accept its death. They had no clue how to cope with everything.

It was eating at them, tearing them apart and glueing them back together into an even bigger mess.

“We can fix everything,” Y/n reassured, knowing that these could as well be empty words and new promises to break, but she couldn’t give up. She couldn’t give up on Jimin even if they were mistaking care and compassion for a small ember of love that they could turn into a fire. That fire had gone out a while ago and what was left were ashes.

“Do you think that’s possible?” She whimpered, wanting to do anything to try and grasp at that false little ember of hope.

“I don’t know,” Y/n whispered, just as uncertain, but she would do anything for Jimin even if it meant ruining herself.

They couldn’t know, but at least it was reassurance that they didn’t have to let go yet and could continue no matter how much it hurt because it would hurt even more if they were apart. It was too difficult to let go of someone they had built their lives around. They would hurt for each other and they would choose that over happiness with someone else because no one would ever be able to give them what they used to have.

They longed for each other’s love. They missed it and just wanted to feel it again but it was all gone. It no longer felt like it used to and they missed those feelings they used to have. Where did they go wrong for it to happen in the first place? What were they supposed to do to fix it? Let go and move on. Stay and continue to drag through the impossible to try and fix it?

They weren’t in love anymore, they just loved each other.

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inconspicious-random-thoughts · 1 month

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On the subject of our Hellish queen Lilith, I have a theory on her possible connection to Alastor. I definitely subscribe to the belief that Roo is Alastor's soul owner, and I believe that Lilith knows this and Alastor's desire to escape the deal. Lilith approached Alastor one day and offered to help him escape Roo's control if he helped her with her own plans and threatened to have his secret outed to the rest of Hell and tarnish his reputation if he refused her offer.

I believe that Lilith was indeed forced to go to Heaven under Adam's threat to harm Charlie if she refused to keep her from empowering Demon Kind with her singing, and to counter this Lilith had Alastor go off the grid and follow Charlie's development from the shadows. Since Lilith's deal restricting her in Heaven lasted for as long as Adam lived, she, knowing Adam would eventually go back on his word to spare Charlie, told Alastor to support Charlie and wait until Adam made a move so that he could take him by surprise and kill him in Lilith's stead (and given Adam didn't know who Alastor was when he fought him, he definitely worked as an "ace in the hole" for Lilith). Which did succeed, albeit in a different way than either she or Alastor thought it would, but no plan is perfect.

I can only hazard a guess as to what Lilith's overall goal is, but I don't think she's going to stop with killing Adam and has designs that will cause the balance of power to shift in Hell's favor after Heaven held the biggest stick for so long. She just gives off this big "chessmaster pulling the strings on both sides" vibe. Anything you'd like to add to this interpretation?

Hello, again.

My first watch through, I thought Lilith controlled Alastor because of the 7 year absence alined and suspicious. Like, everyone else, assumed Alastor was sent to the Hotel to watch over Charlie on Lilith behalf.

But I have an inkling, and not just merely hoping for more, that things are just more complicated and deeper.

The more I watch, the more I believe Roo control Alastor. I'm pretty cemented to that idea.

I definitely subscribe to the belief that Roo is Alastor's soul owner, and I believe that Lilith knows this and Alastor's desire to escape the deal. Lilith approached Alastor one day and offered to help him escape Roo's control if he helped her with her own plans and threatened to have his secret outed to the rest of Hell and tarnish his reputation if he refused her offer.

Now, that is an interesting thought. I don't think that's the case but I'm all for it. I don't think it be canon, only because when Alastor was nearly having a mental breakdown in his radio tower after the battle, he seem desperately rattled on trying to find the hidden backdoor to leave his contract. I don't think he be near panic about his contract if Lilith had offered a way out.

You could argue that it might be Lilith contract that put him in danger at the hotel that made him rattled. But I think with the words of wanting freedom, and unclip his rings...it more about his sold soul contract.

However, another explanation for his near panicked that may aliened with your purposed headcanon, is that he thought he failed Lilith by not destroying Adam. Therefore, blew his shot at her offer of his freedom. As, in this point, I don't think Alastor realized Lucifer saved Charlie and kicked Adams ass and Nifty finishing the job.

I don't think this is how canon would go but I do like the idea Lilith made a deal with Alastor. Because I find in intriguing that Alastor has all these big name players forcing him to make deals with them. I just like the idea how Alastor seems to be in control but he really isn't. How he trying to maintain enough control of the situations to make all his contracts work together, to kill multiple birds (all his hidden agendas, the deals he made along trying to seek his freedom) with a single throw of a giant stone. While appearing to be on the same side on whoever he talking to. Charlie and her hotel redemption is rock that would bring those birds down.

I think she is chess player vibes too. Her goals either involve in Adam or Roo or both.

The thing I'm stuck on is...

Lilith absence can be theorized easily, but Alastors is more lacking. I don't think he was imprisoned for that time but its the most likely thing that I can think off. He was freed to fulfill a service to whoever released him. I don't know why he gone quiet. If he was recovering from an injury I think more people would know that...instead of being a mystery.

The other thing that been bothering me is the exterminations themselves. Like....why they start exactly?

We were lead with. Lilith empowered the sinners and demons with voice and songs. As hell numbers grew so did its power. So heaven was threaten by this and started the extermination.

Which...I thought was a bit much. Its natural Hells numbers would grow...more deaths...more souls entering the afterlife on both sides. So Heaven numbers should theoretically be enough to oppose Hell numbers. Unless there's more sinners then virtuous and there was an unbalance of souls.

But...even if that's the cause...why did Heaven felt threaten. Why did they believe Hell was going to upraise beside feeling intimidated by their numbers?

Then in episode 6, Sera spoke to Adam when him and Lute just spotted Charlie in heaven. She said she never agree to your yearly activities if it brought danger to their doorsteps.

The way she said it to Adam, gave me the impression that Adam purpose the idea of an army to exterminate. What evidence did Adam had to justify the proposal and have it be concern enough for Sera to agree? At the end of the episode, she told Emily after the trail. "They were uprising!" like this fact. Sera not painted to be all knowing....She just the big boss of the security force of Heaven. Her job is to protect Heaven not be all knowledgeable.

So with this little bit, and Adam being leader of the extermination, and as well the one to "negotiate" about it...I think Adam was the Heavenly representative of the original treaty was being creative.

Because honestly...why Lucifer and Lilith agree to all of this if a douchebag didn't openly threaten and bulling them to agreeing. I would like to say its to protect Charlie...which would be a strong motive to have them agree...However...I was left with the impression exterminations has been happening for a very long time....much older then Charlie 20ish hell years of 200ish human years

So, I am left with questions. Why or what made heaven think Hell was uprising?

If Hell was uprising...Why? What would it have accomplished? The way fallen angel Lucifer, I don't think he keen attacking heaven. He may felt wrong but I don't think he want innocent, truly innocent souls to suffer to whatever means they were trying to accomplish. Lilith was painted to be a benevolent queen who cares for the souls she rule over...if she cared about sinners the way she has...I dont think she attack Heaven and have innocent bystander souls suffer.

Then, again...Why Lucifer agree to the exterminations? Beside him suffering in a numbing apathetic state of depression of only witnessing the worst products of his gift to mankind. I mean...kind of seeing Lucifer just whatevering the sinners souls away and low key agree they deserve it but spare the hellborn as they deserve to live their one life. I don't think that what happen, but I dismiss it entirely either. Was Lilith present in this meeting. If she the one that cared so much about the Hell souls, what made her agree along with it.

Why Adam want the extermantions? What examples did he bring to Sera for them to make it happen.

The only thing I can think of for Adam side of things, is he was manipulated by Eve who was manipulated by Roo. Adam making a lot of under the table deals and keeping it a low profile from Heaven. Roo using set something up to look like an uprising. Causing Heaven doing a very unheavenly act, and creating a gateway every year for Roo to attempt to use to infiltrate Heaven.

All the while, Lilith and Alastor has a role in this chessboard. I can only guess Lilith goal is trying to solve what made Heaven panic about an uprising? I don't know?

I think we will see sinner Adam. Not only because we saw Sir Pentious redeemed but because I think Adam still has a large role to play with the Hazbin lore and need to be present to explain things. Unless Lute is a very large confidant of Adam and she already has all this knowledge despite not being present at the original treaty and we see flashbacks of Adam involvement.

I hope this is all coherent. I woke up with such a toothache that just radiating pain to half of my face and giving me a large headache.

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yallemagne · 1 year

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Everyone: "Man, how does Van Helsing know so much about Dracula and vampires?? Must be a personal connection between him and the Count."

Me: *pulling my hair out trying to rewrite the September 30 meeting scene* "IF YOU ACTUALLY FUCKING READ HIS MONOLOGUE TWENTY TIMES OVER YOU WOULD KNOW HE KNEW NONE OF THIS INFORMATION PRIOR TO THE STORY."

Maybe not none. But. Let me just. Most of the shit he says is filler. "Let me tell you, it's gonna be fucking spooky" is what he says like fifty times over in twenty words or more each time.

"Alas! Had I known at the first what now I know—nay, had I even guess at him—one so precious life had been spared to many of us who did love her."

Van Helsing says that if he knew all the info he's about to dump on us about vampires, they could have saved Lucy. Meaning he didn't know jack shit. He most certainly didn't know who Dracula was.

"Even friend Jonathan, who lived with him for weeks, did never see him to eat, never! He throws no shadow; he make in the mirror no reflect, as again Jonathan observe. He has the strength of many of his hand—witness again Jonathan when he shut the door against the wolfs, and when he help him from the diligence too. He can transform himself to wolf, as we gather from the ship arrival in Whitby, when he tear open the dog; he can be as bat, as Madam Mina saw him on the window at Whitby, and as friend John saw him fly from this so near house, and as my friend Quincey saw him at the window of Miss Lucy. He can come in mist which he create—that noble ship's captain proved him of this; but, from what we know, the distance he can make this mist is limited, and it can only be round himself. He come on moonlight rays as elemental dust—as again Jonathan saw those sisters in the castle of Dracula. He become so small—we ourselves saw Miss Lucy, ere she was at peace, slip through a hairbreadth space at the tomb door."

Then finally he starts saying things that he may have already known since he cites no specific examples: night vision, requiring invitation, no power in the daytime, the sunrise and sunset bit, etc.. He does cite an example of what "unhallowed ground" vampires can enter uninvited, but that's just to illustrate his point. But then he talks about his friend Arminius.

"I have asked my friend Arminius, of Buda-Pesth University, to make his record; and, from all the means that are, he tell me of what he has been. He must, indeed, have been that Voivode Dracula who won his name against the Turk, over the great river on the very frontier of Turkey-land. If it be so, then was he no common man; for in that time, and for centuries after, he was spoken of as the cleverest and the most cunning, as well as the bravest of the sons of the 'land beyond the forest.' That mighty brain and that iron resolution went with him to his grave, and are even now arrayed against us. The Draculas were, says Arminius, a great and noble race, though now and again were scions who were held by their coevals to have had dealings with the Evil One. They learned his secrets in the Scholomance, amongst the mountains over Lake Hermanstadt, where the devil claims the tenth scholar as his due. In the records are such words as 'stregoica'—witch, 'ordog,' and 'pokol'—Satan and hell; and in one manuscript this very Dracula is spoken of as 'wampyr,' which we all understand too well."

Van Helsing is really just like me for real oh my god. He sounds like me after just having gone on a Wikipedia binge. He knew absolutely nothing about Dracula before, and he really wants to capitalize on all the new shit he just learned.

"We know from the inquiry of Jonathan that from the castle to Whitby came fifty boxes of earth, all of which were delivered at Carfax; we also know that at least some of these boxes have been removed. It seems to me, that our first step should be to ascertain whether all the rest remain in the house beyond that wall where we look to-day; or whether any more have been removed. If the latter, we must trace——"

*gunshots* Anyway.

More fucking fuel for the stop fucking painting him and Dracula as mortal enemies fire. He's literally just an old man who reads a lot, he's not a badass vampire hunter, Dracula didn't kill his gf or some shit, and he's probably never successfully dealt with a vampire before. Also, more ammo for my if you deny Jonathan's importance to the story one more time-- gun.

#picturing Jonathan trying to dissociate during Van Helsing's monologue and jumping each time VH says his name #Jonathan: yeayeayea we know we all know my trauma so intimately can we not #VH: of course. one more thing--#dracula #dracula daily #rant???#who knows #abraham van helsing #van helsing #also just??#VH: Dracula is super smart he's a tactician-- he's also a baby with a widdle baby brain bc only the mentally handicapped commit crimes #which one is it abe

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trashytoastboi · 9 months

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Hello good and generous Senpai!! I hope loadshedding eased by you, as it did by us :) if senpai has a moment to spare.... And would grace us with their amazing writing skills of perhaps a Killer Hard Dom x Reader? 👉👈 Thank you! Keep up the amazing work💖

Aw shucks when senpai calls me senpai it really hits different. You got me feeling all bashful and stuff 🤭 Its been such a long wait and I apologise dearest senpai, hope you enjoy ^^

NSFW Scenario: Hard Dom! Killer x F! Sub! Reader - A Hard Brat to Tame.

(Female Pronouns)

Warning: NSFW {Dom/Sub dynamics, Spanking, Fingering, Oral, Mating Press, Doggy, Punishment, Bondage (kind of), Orgasm Denial, Body Worship.}

Word Count: 3,006 words

🍜 Killer 🍜

“Looks like fun, can I join in?” {Name} mused, her hands perched on the arm of a stranger who dealt the cards for this game. Killer twitched uncomfortably at seeing how close and flirtatious she was acting with a complete stranger. Her smug little glaces accompanied by a smirk told Killer that she knew exactly what she was doing in trying to make him jealous. He had been dealing with her acting like a brat the entire day and struggled immensely to keep his patience and composure even in the face of her obvious provocations. Despite his multiple instances of what some may call mercy, she refused to cease her warpath.

{Name} had complained about being neglected by Killer, it wasn’t the case and she knew it. She delivered the practiced sob story and he could only muster a sigh on every repeat. The real story without any of her choice embellishments is a simple situation of Killer rejecting her advances the previous night because he wanted some well deserved rest. Being the usual brat {Name} is, she expected a snap of her fingers to make Killer pamper and please her. Sometimes he was kind enough to indulge these exorbitant demands, other times he put his foot down and disciplined some sense into her. This was one of those times where she wanted to be pampered, and Killer, who had spent an entire day fighting and running around with the crew trying to keep the peace or letting hell break loose just wanted a rest after.

Killer now suffered {Name’s} ‘wrath’, and her revenge came in the form of taunts, jeers and repetitive prodding. Anything in her arsenal she could use to intentionally irritate him, she used. Now Killer sits, gripping his tankard tightly while seeing {Name} hang on the arms of strangers who obviously ogled her.

Hours passed, and they were back at the ship. The crew sat around some talking, some drinking, others passed out and a few sat around the table trying to master a new gambling game. Killer was the reliable one who remembered all the rules and was teaching the others to play. {Name} sauntered over to the table where Killer was sitting. She asked the table if she could fetch more drinks. Her smile seemed friendly on the surface, yet Killer couldn’t stop his feelings from building. He offered to help her carry the drinks and excused himself from the table. He stops {Name} in her tracks, “Behave yourself.” Killer lowered his voice and sounded threatening. She just smiled at him, whipping around as she strutted back to the table of half drunk pirates.

An utmost act of defiance, she persisted with her disobedience. Finally Killer had enough and his patience snapped. He walks over to the table, “{Name} my room, now.” He demands. She scoffed and ignored him. Killer shook his head, he lifted her easily and threw her over his shoulder, taking long strides through the ship to go towards his cabin. He didn’t care about all the odd or knowing stares that came their way. {Name} kicked up a fuss about being carried like this, of course in her mind she was more than happy to finally get the reaction she wanted out of Killer.

Despite her various complaints and protests, Killer would not relent. He arrived at the last stretch and finally had enough of the bratty attitude. He clicks his tongue. SMACK. He spanked her, hard. A surprised yelp fell from {Name} who seemed so shell shocked at the sudden spank, she settled quietly without any further fuss now seeing how serious Killer is. He typically would have given a warning first, and a little more leeway. Considering the extent of her behavior he realized he had been far too lax.

Killer walked inside his room and kicked the door closed behind him. He set {Name} on her feet and combed his fingers through her hair. “I hope, for your sake, you’ll behave and take your punishment like a good girl.” Killer’s voice sounded sweet, even with the phrasing it was not a hard insistence, he told her to behave and nothing else. Even though her pride wanted to fight against him more, the atmosphere suggested that he would not be messed with any further. {Name} shut her mouth and agreed. Killer smiles slightly under his mask, “Take your clothes off and have a seat on the bed.” He instructed. She did as she was told and looked up at Killer, he looked down at her both in the figurative and literal sense. The way he towered over her made him seem so daunting and intimidating.

Internally she cheered seeing how commanding and straightforward Killer is acting, he may have called it punishment but he is giving her exactly what she wanted. Oh poor {Name}, she is so very mistaken. Killer cradled her face with his hands lovingly, before moving them down to her neck, “Is this what you wanted? Me to touch you?” He probed for an answer. “Yes, I want it.” {Name} responded quickly, enjoying the light touches of his hands on her body, he pulled away abruptly. “Then touch yourself.” He snickers.

{Name’s} eyes widened, “But-” his hands cupped her face again. A warning. “Just be good and listen.” She shook her head “I don’t want to!”

Killer sighed, still to the bitter end she would not relent. “If we were doing what you wanted, it wouldn’t be a punishment then.” {Name} could see he had no intention of budging. “Fine…” she muttered. Killer takes a seat in front of the bed, “Come on little one, you have to spread your legs more.” She shuts them, {Name} didn’t want to waste time on punishments she wanted what she wanted and unless Killer was giving that to her, she refused everything else.

“Even now you won’t listen. I thought you were going to take your punishment like a good girl.” Killer is disappointed, {Name} walks over to him “I’ll be good, I promise.” Bold words considering she disobeyed him not even a minute earlier. Killer switches the situation and bends her over his lap. “Since you can’t be trusted to do it right, I will do it myself.” The palm of his hand rubs her back, drifting down to her ass and the backs of her thighs. He just runs his hands along the skin. “Do you know what you did wrong?” Killer asks sternly. {Name} takes a moment to think, “I was bad…” SLAP. The first hit lands, the sound resonates in the room and she yelps with the sudden sting. Killer keeps a firm grip to prevent her from squirming out of his grasp.

“So you are aware that your behavior was unacceptable?” He asks, met by silence in her stead. “Tell me exactly what you did wrong.” His hand soothes the previous smack, “I was flirting with other people.” SLAP. “What else?” {Name} tries to steady her trembling voice. “I was rude and disrespectful towards you.” SLAP. “I didn’t listen to instructions” SLAP. “I didn’t accept m-my first punishment.” SLAP. {Name} starts crying from the relentless stinging that barely had a moment to recover before the next smack landed, harder than the last. She stopped listing off her misbehavior, “There is one more baby.” Killer informs her, she panics slightly “I don’t know…”

“You have yet to apologize.” He states coldly, “I’m sorry sir…” SLAP. “You will be sorry baby.”

He ceases the spanking, soothing over the heated skin with his hand. “Is my punishment over now?” she asks softly, with a hint of hope in her voice. Killer sits her up and wipes away {Name’s} tears, “You’re not allowed to be a brat then cry about it.” His voice held no sympathy for her plight. “Oh my pretty baby, what a misunderstanding. How can this be a punishment when you enjoy it so much?”

{Name} flinched at his words. “So this is what we are going to do.” Killer picks her up and lays her down on the bed, he removes his mask and sets it down on the bedside table. He lifts her hands and pins them above her head. Killer lets go, which surprised {Name}. She awaited the ropes, the cuffs, or something. There was nothing. She is evidently confused by his actions, he only chuckled at her expression. “You are going to stay very still. You are not going to move. While you sit still, I am going to touch you, in all the ways you like. If I find your behavior to my satisfaction I might let you cum. Is that clear?”

“Yes sir…” {Name} meekly replied, Killer could see how subdued she was, “Now, that’s a good girl.” he hummed with approval. {Name} sighed a little, now finally accepting that this really isn't going to go her way. As if the remnant stinging on her ass wasn’t enough to make her realize. Killer practically saw the moment she decided to give up and just obey him. Killer rubs his thumb against her lips, running down to her chin, then wrapping his hand around her throat while he gives her a curt kiss.

His hand continues further down, giving a firm squeeze to her tits, and chuckling as he hears that soft gasp when he pinches and pulls her nipples. His lips place kisses on her neck, as he sinks his teeth in. Leaving a trail of marks down to her tits, he replaces his fingers with his mouth. Her whimpers and little moans are music to his ears. His hands held her waist, firmly “So pretty.” He murmurs, kissing down her navel. Killer gripped her thighs and pulled them apart, he shuffled lower and sank his teeth into her thigh. {Name} twitched and raised her arms slightly, Killer flashed a sharp glare in her direction and she instantly dropped her hands back to their spot.

Killer smirked seeing how wet she was already for him, “And here you said you hated punishments.” He said in such a condescending tone that caused {Name] to feel utterly embarrassed as she averted her gaze from his. “No. Keep your eyes on me.” {Name} looked back towards Killer who held that devious look in his eyes. He licked his lips, he knew what he had planned for her. He flattened his tongue giving one long lick against her slit, {Name} jolted, it wasn’t enough for her and he knew it. But he is determined to relentlessly drive her mad. His tongue alternated between delicate kitten licks and wide laps against her, occasionally taking his time to softly nudge and suckle on her clit. Her voice grew louder with each movement, he could tell {Name} was desperate and getting closer. “Hmm, getting a little close there baby?” He chuckled. {Name} nodded frantically. She wanted to grab his head and pull his hair but she stayed as he instructed her too. “Sir…!” She huffed, on the edge of approaching bliss, her legs began to shake as the build up was finally going to reach its perfect climax…It all disappeared. Killer pulled away, leaving her utterly high and dry. “What…?” {Name} looked shocked, “Why’d you stop!?” She whined. Killer smiled, feigning an innocent expression. “Oh? Were you expecting something?”

He lifted his hand to her mouth, “Open up.”, she obeyed. He slowly slid two of his fingers into her mouth, feeling the warmth and wetness it had to offer as he felt her sucking his digits and still glaring with discontent. “Since you look so miserable, I’ll give you something else.” Killer pulled his fingers from her mouth. He smiled, and leaned down for a kiss, the moment his lips met hers he slid his fingers inside. The sweet gasping moan that stifled from the kiss was a reward in itself.

Killer slid his fingers in and out, moving them with a practiced precision that had {Name} whining and begging. She moved her hips wanting to feel more. “So greedy.” Killer commented, keeping his constant pace exactly the way she wanted it. “Please, don’t stop.” {Name} begged, knowing that he was planning to keep bringing her to the edge without satisfaction. Killer didn’t make any jeering commentary otherwise and she believed that maybe he would be merciful, she allowed herself to enjoy every moment. Her head leaned back, {Name} felt that familiar pleasure inching closer, the high that built up once again. So very close, and in another disappointing instant, all gone.

“No…no…” she babbled over again. Killer shrugged in response, she felt the anger getting to her. “Such a bastard” {Name} muttered under her breath. Killer chuckled, “Well you only have yourself to blame.” He pulled her down and closer to him, readjusting their position and throwing her legs over his shoulders. He gave his cock a few strokes while watching her impatience grow, {Name] was truly weak to her desires. He slowly, forcefully began to push inside her, making sure he could get as deep as she could take.

That burning stretch as he inched further inside drove her wild, {Name} wanted to grab him and pull him closer but she stayed conscious of keeping her hands and arms in the imaginary bondage. He kept a languid pace, going in deep and dragging out making sure she felt every little thing. Full well knowing she was already sensitive from being worked up without release. “Faster please” {Name} moaned, Killer shook his head. “No baby, just be patient while I enjoy myself.” Killer grunted between his words. “Sir please, I can’t please.” she sobbed. “Shhh baby, just behave.” Even if she wanted it faster, the build up eventually became noticeable. Her begging subsided as she got closer, tears began to well up and fall from the frustration. Just needing any form of release, Killer kept his slow pace and the moment he felt her getting close, he pulled out and laughed at her outburst of being upset. {Name} whines but still keeps her arms in place, Killer could appreciate her obedience even in the height of her discontent. “You’re behaving so well baby, just a little more and I'll give you a reward, alright?” Killer spoke so sweetly, {Name} just nodded strung along on every word.

Killer’s hand cradles her face, he shows somewhat of a relieved smile when he thinks that {Name} finally learned her lesson, punishment is effective but reward is even more so. Killer slid his cock back inside listening to her relieved sigh. {Name} eagerly waited for him to start moving but he stayed still. Killer leaned down and began kissing her neck, his thumb rubs small circles on her clit and she moans. The sensitivity played in his favour. She babbles incoherently about how close she is. {Name} doesn’t even beg for it, she anticipated further disappointment. Killer doesn’t stop even when her hips start bucking against him trying to feel more. {Name’s} vision blanks for a second as her climax hits hard, leaving her a shaking mess from her desperately earned release. “There we go…” Killer hums happily, it only took one orgasm to have her so fucked out, although he didn’t count all the ones he previously denied.

{Name} mumbled her thank you’s over and over again, Killer flips her over and pulls her onto all fours. “Now that your punishment is over, I can really enjoy myself.” He thrusts back into her hard, practically leaving {Name} breathless, he slams into her repeatedly holding nothing back. Her body gives in and she collapses to the bed. “No baby, too early to give out on me.” Killer pulls her hips back and holds her steady as he relentlessly fucks into her. “Wait-!” {Name} whines, still recovering from her previous orgasm as another approaches quickly. Killer kisses her shoulder, his thrusts are accentuated by his grunts and strained voice “Give me another baby, you can do it.” {Name} could barely think, just feeling every harsh thrust that drove her mind even more blank.

Her hands weakly clutched at the bed, SLAP. Killer spanked her, the surprise sent her over the edge and once again she came undone. Killer chuckled at the pathetic display of how easily he could toy with her body. His hand pushed her body down to the bed as he held her in place, his own release building. He shut his eyes and just focused on thrusting as hard as he could. “Fuck!” He exclaimed through gritted teeth as he came inside her, holding her still while he filled her up. Killer needed a moment to find feeling in his body again, he tried to catch his breath as he finally let go of her hips and laid down next to her.

Both had a moment to gather themselves when Killer pulls {Name} close and kisses her on the forehead, his thumb wipes away the remnant tears. Moving to comb his fingers through her hair. “Are you alright?” His voice asked, barely above a whisper. She nods and nuzzles into his touch. “It wasn’t too much was it?”, she shakes her head. “‘I’m sorry for how I acted.” {Name} uttered a sincere apology realizing that even if it had been a prerequisite to a scene, there were still limitations that she shouldn’t have pushed as hard. Killer kisses her softly, before sitting up and taking some time to address all of the little bruises and marks. He is firm, and often gets rough but is constantly aware of how much {Name} could take. She shifted and plopped her head into his lap while looking at Killer, He flashed a gentle smile that she had gotten used to seeing, and feeling it a treasured secret and many others probably never had the pleasure of seeing it. His fingers ran through her hair and {Name} could feel herself drifting further into a strange asleep yet not quite asleep state, listening to all the loving affirmations Killer muttered while believing she had already fallen asleep.

#one piece #killer #killer one piece #trashytoastboi #unholy toast #female reader #female pronouns #one piece scenario #one piece imagines #one piece headcanon #fluff #lemon #smut #ns.fw #killer x reader

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evilwickedme · 10 months

Note

"you're worth it." and/or "you need sleep for jayroy maybe?

(i can't remember if you actually like that ship so if you don't feel free to pick your own)

I absolutely LOVE JayRoy and have written multiple fics for them anyway it's one am let's see what comes out

on ao3

unglued, thanks to you

It's been a long couple of days.

Everyone Roy knows is out of the state right now, for so many different and yet equally good reasons, so he hasn't had anyone available to babysit in days. Then Lian caught this bug that's been going around, and she's spent the last three days throwing up anything she's eaten, while Roy desperately tries to keep her hydrated, staying up all night with her as she shivers. His heart aches for his little girl, but he can't do anything about it except wait for it to pass. As if that stress wasn't enough, he hasn't had a steady job in a couple of months, and last he checked he was almost out of money for rent, let alone groceries or medicine or a paid sitter. And he can't even take any job offers he's getting, because he can't just leave Lian behind while half his family is MIA, some of them literally. Hell, he'd have joined them in the search if it weren't for... Everything else.

He's worried about his family, and he's worried about Lian, and he's just tired. He's so, so tired. Still, he can't help it - when Jason calls, he picks up.

"Hey," he says.

Jason must pick up on the exhaustion in his voice, because instead of hello he opens with, "Jesus Christ, when's the last time you slept?"

Roy takes offense to that. Considering the circumstances, he's been getting plenty of sleep. "I'll have you know I got to take a two hour nap just this afternoon," he says indignantly.

"Uh-huh," Jason says, "and last night?"

"Why are you calling, Jason?" Roy says tiredly.

"I'm in Star right now," Jason answers, letting the matter drop. "Connecting flight got canceled so I pivoted. Can I crash at yours?"

Roy hesitates. "It's not that you're not welcome," Roy says, searching for the right words. "I just - " it's just awful right now, and Roy's a mess, and the apartment's a mess, and Jason probably doesn't want to deal with a sick first grader anyway. "Listen, the place is kind of a mess right now, you'd probably be better off just finding a hotel to stay at. Use Bruce's money to stay at somewhere fancy. You'd sleep better, trust me."

Jason hums to himself, like he does sometimes when he's thinking. "How's Lian, Roy?"

Roy closes his eyes. "She's down for a nap right now," he says, then admits, "but she's been sick all week."

"And hasn't Oliver been able to help? Or any of your goddamn brood?"

Like Jason has any room to talk, with all these Bats flying around nowadays. When Roy was a kid, it was just Bruce and Dick, and eventually Babs. Now every time Roy blinks, there's a new kid wearing the bat on their chest. "They're all out of town at the moment."

Jason just sighs. "I'll be there in fifteen minutes," he says, then hangs up.

Motherfucker.

Well, Jason knows what he's getting himself into.

~~~

True to his word, a quarter of an hour later Roy hears Jason's spare keys unlock his front door. "In here," he calls out from the kitchen, where he's washing some long overdue dishes. Once it was clear that Jason would be staying with them no matter what, Roy did the minor service of taking all the disgusting shit off the couch.

"Hey," Jason says, dropping his bag, which clattered conspicuously. "I thought you said Lian was napping?"

"She's out like a light, actually," Roy says. "I'm hoping she'll actually sleep through the night tonight. Would make for a nice change."

Jason stays silent for a while, and the back of Roy's head prickles, but he keeps washing the dishes until, suddenly, Jason's hand is on his arm, startling him into stillness.

"C'mon," Jason says. "I can do this."

"They're my dishes," Roy objects.

"You need sleep," Jason says. "Your kid's sick, I get it. But I can keep an eye on her for a few hours. Go, get some rest. If only so I don't have to look at those fucking bags under your eyes. You look terrible."

"Jay," Roy sighs.

"I'll fucking carry you to bed if I have to," Jason threatens mildly.

Roy looks at him, then looks back at the running water, then shoots a longing look at the door to his bedroom. He really does want - need, desperately need - some rest. And Lian likes Jason. And Roy really, really doesn't want to be doing the dishes right now.

"Okay," he says. Then, after a pause, "Thank you, Jaybird."

"Anytime," Jason says gruffly. He hipchecks Roy, who relents, raising his hands in surrender and walking to his bedroom. "Seeya in six hours."

"Four," Roy counters.

"Eight," Jason corrects.

Roy rolls his eyes before closing his door. He sets his alarm for three hours, and falls asleep as soon as he closes his eyes.

~~~

Roy opens his eyes suddenly, momentarily disoriented. There's sunlight coming through the window - he's still in his jeans - he crashed last night - Jason came over last night - didn't he set an alarm?

Honestly, Roy wouldn't put it past Jay to sneak into his room and turn the alarm off, but maybe he just slept through it. Either way, it's too late now.

He feels so heavy, but still he forces himself to get up. He needs to check up on Lian, maybe clean up a little if she's still out, make some food out of whatever's still left in the pantry.

He's going over his to-do list in his mind as he steps out into the living room, and he does a double take.

The place is spotless. All the dishes are gone, the dirty clothes are in the laundry hamper by the laundry machine that stands close to the kitchen because there's no room for it in this tiny apartment else, and assorted electronics are piled up on the now clear surface of the little table they sometimes use to eat. The floor has been swept, too, with the dust bunnies Roy has become resigned to live with all cleared out.

There's no sign of Lian, but Jason is humming in the kitchen, so Roy joins him, leaning against the wall as he watches Jay slice vegetables that were definitely not in Roy's kitchen last night.

"You let me sleep in," Roy accuses.

Jason snorts. "Yeah, obviously. You needed the sleep, man. You probably haven't looked in the mirror in four days, but you looked miserable, trust me." He glances up at Roy, then back down to the cucumber under his knife. "You look, uh, much better now. Could probably use a shower."

"Fuck you," Roy says amicably. "Where's this come from?"

"I had some groceries delivered this morning," Jason answers casually. "I put the order in after I finished the dishes, then started cleaning up while I stayed up. Lian woke up eventually, so I made sure she got some fluids and gave her the meds on the counter - I'm assuming those were her meds, she was a little out of it and couldn't confirm it for me, but she seemed better after, so I figured, yeah."

"Yeah, those were the right meds," Roy says. "Thanks, again."

"Anytime," Jason says. He's now slicing a large red tomato. The juices spurt a little onto Jason's hand, who grimaces for a second before continuing.

"No, seriously," Roy says earnestly. "You were just looking for a place to crash. You didn't need to do any of this. I just - cleaning this place up must have taken you all night."

"Well," Jason says. "Consider it payback for all the times you saved my ass. And for letting me crash here."

Roy's heart pounds in his chest, and he looks around the kitchen. "Can I help?"

Jason waves at him dismissively. "I'm almost done here anyway," he says. "Go, wash up, or check on your daughter, or just sit down for five goddamn minutes."

Roy huffed, unable to stop himself from laughing. And then he did just that. Took a brisk shower, then checked up on Lian - sleeping again, and her bucket was empty, which was good - and then he rejoined Jason, just in time for him to hand him a plate, full to the brim with a cheese omelette, buttered toast, and a chopped salad.

"This looks amazing, Jaybird," Roy says honestly, and he could swear he sees Jason's ears turn a little red.

"Eat your damn breakfast," is all he says.

Roy puts the plate down on the table and takes Jason's hand. His eyes snap up to his face, and he looks - confused.

Roy rubs a thumb over Jason's palm. The texture is complicated, scarred and calloused, but he likes it. It's not unlike his own. "Thanks," Roy says again.

"You don't need to keep saying it," Jason says.

"Yeah, I do," Roy says. "And I'll keep saying it til you take me seriously."

"Yeah, well," Jason says. "You're worth it."

#whomp this took me about an hour and I'm actually pretty happy with this #heavily inspired by that one poisonivory fic. the 'you're tired. I'm here to let you be tired' one #jayroy #this my fic #dc fic #batfam #arrowfam #lian harper #roy and lian #roy harper #jason todd #jt #dc #gail speaks #callsign-crow #ask

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bihanspookies · 15 days

Text

Alora Fucks Up

Summary: A night away at a bar ends up turning into one of Alora’s biggest mistakes.

Warnings: uuhh blood, broken bones, violence

All Alora wanted was one night to herself, to have a sense of peace away from her hectic lifestyle. She wanted to be away from her peers, away from that god forsaken base, and from the latest thorn in her side: Jesse Waylon fucking Geller. Lately he had been showing up more and more at the Black Dragon base, Kano contracting Red Claw for a different type of business. Needless to say that Jesse’s persistent and obnoxious personality was a complete 180 from that Mitchell fellow she met two weeks prior.

She had gone to some shady bar, one that normally favored members of the Black Dragon and other mercenaries since they would usually bring fair business. It was almost an unspoken rule that the different factions kept to themselves, yet instead here she was, white knuckling her beer bottle as some greasy creep kept insisting on talking to her. She told him to leave her the fuck alone— exactly like that, but he persisted and even slid into the barstool next to hers.

“Fucking hell, you look rough. Like it though...” Is what he told her when he caught the first glimpse of her scarred face. That’s when Alora had verbally cursed him, annoyance crystal clear in her tone and had demanded for him to move.

He didn’t, five beers too far in to make a single coherent thought. Alora was ready to just give up and leave, far too drained and irritated to properly deal with the man and sort him straight. She downed the rest of her beer (her first one), placed money on the table and hopped off the stool without so much as a glance to the guy.

“Hey! Not done talking—“

It was instant when she swung around and clocked her fist into his jaw, blood and a few teeth flying out and skittering across the floor because he decided he didn’t need any when his hand came to slap against her backside. His cry of agony silenced the bar, the other patrons murmuring at the scene that was beginning to unfold. Fights were normal on this side of town, it was rare when something didn’t break out. He stumbled off the seat, using another one to keep himself upright.

“You fucking bi—!”

He was silenced again when her same hand shot out and whacked him on the nose, knocking him clean off his feet. He crashed to the floor, colliding into a few other bar goers as they barely cushioned his fall. Alora stepped closer, ready to execute another hit when the man put his hands up, waving and shaking them for mercy. Alora scoffed and rolled her eyes, prepared to finally leave when of course he had to open his mouth again. She didn’t quite catch what he said, just knowing that it was some other bullshit.

She grabbed her empty beer bottle off the countertop, the man’s eyes widening in fear when he saw her rear her arm back. He screamed when it came smashing down right next to his head, amber glass exploding into a million tiny shards and sinking into his skin.

He howled in pain and Alora sucked her teeth, muttering a ‘sorry’ to the bartender and dropping a few more bills for damages.

That was yesterday night.

Today, in the late afternoon, she’s sitting at the base’s bar and idly chatting with Kate and Billie. It’s an ordinary conversation, when Danny and Kano walk in with the latter looking positively peeved off. Alora briefly spares them a glance, opening her mouth to reply to Billie when Danny slides into the seat next to her, giving one of his infamous charming smiles before making it tight lipped and turning to talk to Billie who was sitting behind the bar.

“Whiskey, Kano Jr. I need it.” He muses, Billie giving him a look and rolling her eyes.

“Do I look like I’m ol’ enough to be servin’?” She retorts, downing the rest of her soda before hopping off her barstool anyway to reach under the counter and grab a bottle of whiskey. As she’s pouring it, Alora can’t help but notice Kano in the background, angrily talking about something to Alex and Kabal who were in the middle of a pool game. Their expressions shift from confusion to bewilderment as they listen to Kano talk, Alora unfortunately a bit too far away to catch exactly what he was spewing on about.

She’s brought back when Danny clicks his tongue, putting her attention back on Billie who just finished licking the rim of his glass and handing it off to him. Danny inspects his cup and wipes it off with a napkin before taking a huge sip, looking at Billie with a raised eyebrow before he brings the drink away with a sound of satisfaction.

“Keep that bottle out, Mini Me. Gonna need it with the way this deal got botched.”

That makes Alora’s curiosity pique, trailing her gaze from Danny’s glass to his face. He catches her stare and takes it as a sign to continue. With a heavy sigh he leans back, stretching and lifting his glasses to rub at his tired green eyes.

“Prick didn’t show up. Turns out the muppet got his ass handed to him at the bar last night….”

It’s a slow creep that starts in her heart and spreads throughout her body. The hair on the back of her neck prickles and Alora starts wondering if there was some sort of off chance that there was another guy who got beat at the exact same time.

“How’d you figure that?” Billie asks while Alora starts to twirl the straw in her own cup lazily, using her finger to have it circle around the rim. She’s keeping calm, staying silent to determine if she’s royally fucked or not.

“Well for starters, mate has the gall to send Kano a picture of him in the hospital. Absolutely beaten to shit.” Danny huffs and takes another sip, a slight grimace on his features as he places the cup back down. Alora feels a skip in her heart, simply giving a quirk of her eyebrows as her gaze drifts behind the Brit and back to her boss. She can see Kabal doing his best to talk Kano down, Alex giving his own input here and there. Kano shakes his head, a flash of disgust crossing his face before he leaves the pool table with a wave of his hand and heads towards the bar.

“What was the deal?” Kate pipes up, appearing from Alora’s right and leaning onto the countertop to look at Danny. He sighs, a bit dramatically, and looks to Kate with a small pout on his lips. Kano’s grumbling to himself when he reaches them, giving Billie a small head pat before ducking under the counter to reach for a bottle.

“Well darling—“ another sigh, “Dear ol’ boss managed to snag me some precious material from Outworld. I’ve been wanting to try and experiment for some new tech but,” He shrugs, downing the remainder of his whiskey before slamming the cup down and sliding it towards Billie. She makes a face a him, unscrewing the bottle and ready to pour when Kano grabs it from her.

Silently he serves himself, filling his cup to the brim before going to the tech heads, a ping ringing off his phone as he starts to tilt. He unlocks his phone with one hand, still tilting the bottle.

“Anyway, not to worry love. Kano and I are already making plans to reschedule. Isn’t that right?”

But Kano doesn’t hear him, a sudden hard gaze on his features as he glares at his phone. Faintly Alora can hear something playing from the device, wondering what exactly has him looking ready to pop his own head off. His hand seems frozen in midair, whiskey still streaming out and eventually filling Danny’s glass. It topples over the sides, a slow puddle forming at the base of the cup.

“Uh…”

“Da’? What’s—“ Billie is cut off when her father’s hand crushes the neck of bottle, glass raining down and into Danny’s cup and all over the countertop. Kate and Billie jump back, while Danny and Alora’s eyes widen. Shards crunch in Kano’s palm and when Alora flicks her attention from that to Kano, her stomach twists when she sees him already staring at her.

“Didn’t like this shirt anyway.” Danny remarks sarcastically, pushing back from the bar to avoid getting more whiskey all over him. He gets off the stool and makes way to the bathroom to clean up.

From her peripheral she can see Alex and Kabal stop their game, attention now pointed towards the scene. She can feel the tension radiating off of Kate, her fingers gingerly brushing against Alora’s hand from under the countertop. Alora’s pinky barely raises in return, not daring to break the eye contact with Kano.

Ever so slowly Kano lowers his phone and slides it towards Alora, whatever he was watching still playing over and over on a loop. She doesn’t have to look down to know what the video is, the sounds of glass breaking and various gasps still fresh in mind from yesterday.

“Look. At the fucking. Phone.” He growls through clenched teeth, his hand that was holding the bottle finally releasing and shaking out whatever bits of glass had embedded into his skin. He ignores the stings, waiting for Alora to clarify so he can proceed with what to do next.

Alex and Kabal made their way towards them with Danny trailing not too far behind, looking down at his shirt and muttering to himself. Kabal reaches in between Alora and Kano to grab the phone to tilt it so he could see what exactly has Kano’s panties in a twist. He hisses through his teeth, Alex looming behind to catch a glimpse as well. Immediately his eyes snap up to his friend and boss, mouth open and ready to intervene.

“This was you?” Kano asks, venom laced in his voice as he waits for Alora’s answer. She stares back at him, keeping her gaze on his but not ignoring the way his nails started to leave faint indents in the wood of the bar. She feels Kate’s touch again, the brief contact doing little ease the anxiety piling in Alora.

“Kano, come on she didn’t—“

“Shut the fuck up Demir!” Kano barks and smacks Danny’s overfilled cup off the countertop without looking, sending it crashing into who knows what. It shatters with whiskey splashing everywhere, a sharp inhale of breath sounding from Kate’s lips. Kano points his finger at Alora, nostrils flaring as he asks the question again.

“Was. This. You.” It’s repeated with malice, his thick eyebrows knitted together so tight that if the situation wasn’t so serious then Alora might have cracked a smile.

She runs her tongue over her teeth, keeping her expression as neutral as possible.

“I didn’t know.” She finally answes, not a quiver in her tone or a tremble in her body, even knowing that there’s no point in trying to explain the situation to him. She can see the muscles jumping in his jaw and Alora knows she has very little time to diffuse the bomb that is Kano of The Black Dragon.

His eyes narrow, his palms giving two firm taps to the top of the bar before he shrugs.

“Din’t know, eh?” His lips purse a bit, coming around the counter to the other side with his boots crunching over broken glass. He leaves a small trail of wet whiskey footprints as he stops in front of Alora.

Thick couldn’t even begin to describe the tension in the room. Her eyes remain on him, expression stoic as gauges how to proceed. It felt like a heavy weight was sitting on her chest, ready to crush and pin her body to the ground.

Alora makes the mistake of briefly breaking eye contact to look at Billie, who was doing her best to sneak away unnoticed and leave the room— most likely to find and grab her mother.

Whack!

Pain immediately forms on the right side of Alora’s jaw, stars and colors dancing in her vision as she’s slightly knocked off balance and stumbles off her seat. Kano sends a kick to the center of her back, propelling her forward and almost to her knees.

“Go on get up then! Since you like to fuck up strangers! Get up!”

Another hit right to the mouth, so excruciating that Alora’s vision goes blurry for just a moment. She falls to her side, blood dripping past her lips in a steady flow. She sees Kano approaching fast, fury etched in his face as he rears his leg back to kick her in the stomach.

Alora counters and grabs onto him just in time, gritting her teeth and swinging him around to send him tumbling away from her. The Aussie rolls into it, quickly standing up and grunting as he reaches out towards her again.

“Do you have any fuckin’ idea how important this deal was? Huh?! Do ya?!”

Alora finally gets to her feet and sends a devastating punch towards his chest, Kano shifting off to the side at the last second so that her fist scrapes alongside his cybernetic heart. He fists her braids, pulling her hair back to hit her square in the face. She can feel her nose crack from the impact, involuntary tears springing to her eyes and grunting as crimson gushes out. He strikes her again in the same spot, blood shooting into the back of her throat and causing Alora to gag and sputter out flecks of red. It stains Kano, painting his skin and bandolier.

Faintly she can hear Kate screaming and pleading for Kano to stop, Alex having to hold her back in his arms so she doesn’t get caught up in the fight either. Danny stands near her, ready to grab and hold on as well while Kabal catches Erron and Echo up to speed. Echo’s eyes widen a fraction at the scene, standing close to Erron as she watches the fight.

“You absolute dumb fuckin’—“ Kano roars.

Before he can get in a third hit, Alora catches his hand and crushes it in her own, pushing back against him to create some distance. The Aussie grits his teeth and knocks his head into her, Alora actually feeling as if she was about to black out from how hazy her vision got.

Suddenly she feels 16 all over again, fighting endlessly in the Koliseum to reach the end for something that was never going to be hers in the first place. Breaking bones, tearing muscles, ripping through flesh like melted butter all for nothing.

All because she made one mistake.

“Kano stop you’ll kill her! She’s had enough!” Kate begs, squirming in Alex’s hold to get free.

“No,” He says, spitting off to the side. “She can take it. Ain’t tha’ right, love?”

He takes Alora’s right arm and twists it behind her back, yanking it so incredibly tight and hard against her that she can feel something threaten to pop. Her scream is one of pure anguish, coming out hoarse and broken, resonating throughout the bar. The tears that were holding on finally fall free, streaming down her cheeks and leaving wet trails into the blood that was smeared across her skin.

Alora’s so frazzled right now that she can’t properly think straight, too focused on the searing pain of her arm and hacking up the blood that keeps getting lodged in her throat. She clenches her teeth and rears her head back to knock into Kano, his hold faltering but not enough for her to slip free.

Fight back. Stop being scared and fight back.

So she does it again, even stomping on his foot and using her free arm to reach behind her to his face. The angle is extremely awkward since it’s her left, but she finds the edge of his cybernetic eye plate, her nails wasting no time in piercing the into the delicate flesh that surrounds it. Kano roars in pain, holding on for just a few seconds before he finally lets go and shoves her away. He swipes his fingers across where she had her nails, grunting when his tips show dark red.

“Fuckin’ bitch!” In a fit of rage he shoots his laser out to her, not taking the time to properly aim. It doesn’t hit her anywhere critical but it does land on the shoulder of the arm he just potentially fractured. The smell of burning flesh hits Alora’s nose, making her gag at how it infiltrates her senses. She can hear Kano’s boots getting closer and closer and in a desperate attempt she swings her fist around to clock him on the side of his skull. The Aussie yells and shoots another beam at her, just barely hitting the edge of her shoes. Alora scurries back and yells as she spears herself into him, sending him crashing to the floor and unleashing a flurry of hits straight to his face. She’s ignoring the piercing pain of her left arm, too focused on making Kano hurt.

Within the second punch his nose is crooked, blood shooting out and soaking into his beard. Hit after hit cause him to scream, Alora not faultering for one second and for the briefest moment she has the urge to keep going until he’s unrecognizable. Sometime after the sixth punch Kano stops fighting back and it’s only when she can hear Billie screeching that she realizes what she’s doing.

“What the fuck!!”

Alora’s fist stops mere centimeters away from his good eye, heavy breaths passing her lips as she stares down at the messy scene. Her icy eyes are flicking wildly all over him, looking and waiting for a sign of life.

She wouldn’t do that. Couldn’t do that. Not to Billie.

“Da’!”

In that split moment of Alora snapping her head up to look at Billie, seeing her be held back by Skarlet, Kano’s fingers claw into Alora’s shirt. He brings her down roughly and collides his head against hers, shoving her onto her back and straddling her hips. His hands latch around her neck, closing off her airway and then lifting her to begin slamming her head against the ground. Alora’s gasp morphs into a choked gargle, the blood that had been collecting in the back of her throat viscous and blocking her breathing even more.

She can hear a collection of yells from Alex and Kate, knowing that they wanted to interfere but knowing that it could cost them. Not that Alora would want them to anyway, this was her fuck up after all.

She tries to cough, spitting blood up like a baby as it dribbles down her chin. Kano lifts her higher, her back coming off the ground and Alora knows he intends to throw her down with every bit of strength left in him. He never gets to do so, Skarlet running over and placing a hand on Kano’s shoulder to hold him back.

“Kane!” There’s fear in her eyes, Alex and Kabal running over to haul him off of Alora and pull him a good distance away. Alora turns to her side, heaving and hacking up whatever she could as it lands with a splat onto the concrete floor. She sucks in a deep breath, sputtering when more blood gathers and she spits it out again and again and again.

She feels a hand on her shoulder and on instinct she smacks it away from her without looking. She swipes across her nose, streaking blood and snot, and peers over her left to find the hurt expression of Kate as she stands there with her fingers fiddling with one another. Alora silently stares at her, trying to convey an apology through her eyes before giving up and rising to her feet. There’s a slight sway as she stands up straight, Alora giving a brisk shake of her head and sparing Kano one last glance who’s already turned his attention to his wife and daughter.

She doesn’t bother to look at the others, not needing to see the expressions on their faces and add to her shame.

Everything hurts; face, arms, stomach, back. She brings a hand to the back of her head and is only mildly surprised when just her fingertips come away with blood. They’re not the worst injuries she’s had, having gone against Shokan and Tarkatan before, it would just take a bit longer than usual to recover. She touches her jaw gingerly, nose scrunching when pain radiates from the simplest touch. Alora maintains her composure as she walks out the bar, feeling the burning stares of her peers on her back as they burn holes straight through her.

Even when she’s completely out of the room and out of sight she holds herself, head held high as she walks through the corridors towards her sanctum. Carefully she opens her door, twisting the door knob all the way to the end and then pushing it open. Michi’s tiny squeaks greet her and it brings the faintest smile to her busted lips. She wants to go say hello, to hold her sweet pet in her hands but she can’t taint him with blood.

She does however walk past her mirror and catch a glimpse of herself.

She stops and looks, a sinking feeling in her chest as she counts every bruise and gash that Kano graciously delivered to her. She twists around to look at the burn mark from his laser, hissing when she touches the edges of the wound. She finds herself thinking and hoping that the discoloration will fade and the cuts will scab before—

She blinks, eyebrows bunching together at her thought. A certain face flashes through her mind and Alora feels a surge of annoyance flow through her body. She sucks her teeth and turns away from the mirror, going to her drawer to grab fresh clothes. She whispers a quiet ‘hello’ to Michi, the first smile of the day gracing her lips when he scurries towards her.

“I’ll be back, don’t worry.”

The water burns in the best and worst way, hitting her open wounds and sore muscles but soothing her body and soul. She runs her fingers through her hair to work out the knots, faint throbs echoing through her body when her hands pass along to lather soap. The encounter plays in her mind all over, every hit sending a throb and Alora can feel her nails start to dig in her scalp.

It wasn’t her fault, she knows that. She doesn’t know exactly how much the video shows but it didn’t matter, not to Kano. A deal is a deal no matter what.

It doesn’t even cross Alora’s mind as to how he got a video in the first place.

She inhales sharply, holding it deep in her chest before releasing it. There’s a burn in her eyes but she refuses to let them form into tears. She wouldn’t let Kano of all people get to her like that. Instead she finishes cleaning herself up, going over her body two more times to make sure all the blood is off.

And then she stands there, eyes staring blankly as water washes down the drain. She doesn’t know how long she remains motionless but eventually she slides down the wall and brings her knees to her chest, resting her chin on top as she lets time continue to slip by.

———

Alex/JJ/Jesse: @chadillacboseman

Billie: @cyberneticsanguinaire

Echo: @roofgeese

Kate/Danny: @bdfightclub

#RAAHH THIS TOOK FOREVER RAAHHH #alora #mk alora #I’ll be adding this to the masterlist in a bit #mk Alex #mk jj #mk Jesse #mk Billie #mk echo #mk danny #mk Kate

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dreamerinthemoonlight · 10 months

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Rapunzel, Rapunzel

A/N: I took this idea that I’ve had for ages now and just let my brain do weird shit with it. And it is now nothing like what it started as. It’s not beta’d or edited and I really don’t give a rat’s rear end. I’m too stressed to deal with my usual projects

Summary: Reader gets stranded on a cliff. Kaeya rescues her

Kaeya x F!Reader

Approximate Word Count: 579

CW: Use of princess as a term of endearment.

“Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your hair.”

Those were not the words you thought you’d be hearing two days after stranding yourself on a remote cliff.

The job had been easy, you swear, Or rather, as easy as any when Dragonspine is involved. Simply ascend the mountain, find some of the star silver that happens to be laying around everywhere, and return to Wagner. It’s a job you’ve done too many times to count.

Unfortunately, this trip was the trip that whichever Archon governs luck had decided to abandon you fully and completely.

First, a freak gust of wind stole your glider--the one Kaeya designed for you for your one year anniversary-- and tossed in into a lake where it promptly sunk.

That wouldn’t have been so bad, as far as the success of your mission went. Climbing gear is a staple in your “into frozen hell” backpack, climbing gear that got you up to the little ledge you’re on now.

What you hadn’t planned on was the the entire rig losing it’s grip on the mountain side, falling to the ground well out of reach.

You don’t often curse having a pyro vision. It makes doing jobs in the coldest weather doable. This was one of those times, however, where you were about ready to beg for a vision that delt with something a bit for solid than fire usually is.

Once you lost your climbing gear, you hurried to finish the job before turning to the problem of leaving.

With a pyro vision, you weren’t going to freeze to death, but your vision wasn’t going to get you down either.

Instead, you reached into your bra where one of Kaeya’s gifts spends it’s days. Said gift is a coin, about the size of your vision.

“Melt this and I’ll know you’re in trouble and that you need me. Melt it and I’ll be there.” The cavalry captain had said when he gave it to you.

So you fished it out and melted it.

Two days later, you’re still sitting on the cliff, warm, but hungry, waiting for your little shit of a knight in shining armor to get you down, when you hear the cheesiest line you’ve heard.

“Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your hair!”

“Oh for Barbato’s sake, Kaeya! Spare me the cheese and get me down from here!”

You roll onto your stomach and hang your head over the edge of the cliff, letting your hair hang over your shoulder.

You boyfriend laughs, saying “Don’t worry, princess, I’ll save you.”

“Just because you’re my rescuer doesn’t mean I can’t kick your ass when I get down there.”

“I’m coming, I’m coming, I’m coming.”

Kaeya spends a moment examining the surface of the cliff face before resting his hand on it. When he takes his hand away a staircase springs into being, following the line of holes that once help your climbing gear.

Within moments of the stairs reaching you, you’re at Kaeya’s side.

Kaeya wraps his arms around you, burying his face in your hair.

“Are you alright?”

“Better now.”

“You worried me.”

“Then what took you so long?”

Kaeya chuckles. “It took a couple days to locate you, princess. The coin wasn’t as...accurate as I would have hoped. Are you ready to go?”

“I’ve been ready for two damn days.”

Kaeya takes your hand and you walk down the mountain together.

“Rapunzel, Rapunzel---”

“Shut up, Kaeya.”

Even if Lady Luck abandoned you, Kaeya never would.

#hehehe #Another repost from daydreams in bri-land #I think this is one of my favorites #Even though it's not the most serious #I'd probably smack kaeya for his comments #Lovingly though #Kaeya #Kaeya writing #Kaeya fic #Kaeya fluff #kaeya x fem!reader #kaeya x reader #Genshin fiic #genshin writing #genshin fluff #genshin impact

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lemonluvgirl · 9 months

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Ok, so this idea just would not leave me alone. I told my husband about this idea for a three-chapter Everlark modern high school AU and he really liked it and told me I should write it. So, here is the first part.

August

Junior year

Panem HS

Another year, another seat in the back of the class next to the window. Another bland teacher introduction followed by the passing out of the class syllabus. Then come the dreaded icebreakers.

Never mind that we live in a town of less than 3,000, or that our graduating class will have less than 200 members if every one of us manages to make it through the next two years of high school. And forget the fact that we’ve all been in the same grade together since kindergarten. Every single year our teachers insist on forcing us to ‘get to know each other’.

If I don’t already know the favorite season and holiday of the person sitting next to me by now I probably never will. (It’s Delly Cartwright, and hers are summer and Christmas respectively)

But everything about this class, about this day, hell, probably about this entire year will be completely predictable. The brains, like BT Latier will work their asses off to get top grades, and the sportos like Cato Anderson will try to copy their homework and cheat off them during tests. Girls like Galinda ‘Glimmer’ Franklin and Clove Moretti will ignore the no cell phones rule and regularly update their Twitter and Instagram during the lecture and will only get called out about 40% of the time.

The rest of us will just muddle through, hopefully paying enough attention to pass the exams and avoid remedial tutoring in the library with Ms. Trinket who, contrary to first impressions, is not a vapid airhead who wears too much makeup and hairspray but in reality, is a total hard ass and does everything in her power to make sure the kids she tutors pass their classes. My life is all about reducing stress and hassle, so I’ll be avoiding her at all costs this year. Besides it’s much easier to just pass the first time around than have to deal with the fallout from failing.

So I inwardly roll my eyes at the whole charade of introductions and do my best to try and look only mildly bored.

When it gets to my turn I don’t bother standing up.

“My name is Katniss Everdeen. I’m 17. I’m stubborn and good with a bow and that’s pretty much it.” I say dryly, and it gets a few chuckles.

After that, the spotlight of my peer’s attention moves on and no one spares me a second glance. Which is exactly how I prefer it. Everyone here already knows I’m not very interesting. I hate the whole school spirit scene, and I’m not in any clubs or on any committees. The last time I was voluntarily a part of something, was five years ago. I quit track in middle school so I could spend more time hunting in the woods to supplement the money from my father’s income that we lost after his death. I’ve gotten so good at it that Mr. Abernathy, the owner of the local sporting goods store, took me on as a seasonal hire last summer. I parlayed that summer gig into a year-round job that helps keep food on my family’s table, and shoes on my little sister’s feet.

My life is a series of responsibilities and expectations that my classmates could never relate to. And their lives are a carefree existence of parties, dances, and soap-opera drama that I have no interest in.

They live in their little bubbles and I live in the real world and we will go on co-existing in this way until graduation breaks the cycle.

I zone out of the rest of the class. We won’t do much work today if at all, so I allow myself the small indulgence of looking out the window and planning for this year’s hunting season which is set to open up for archery on the first of October.

That leaves me only a few weeks to finish getting the permits and stock up on the needed supplies.

This year will be harder than the years before since I’ll be hunting alone. My best friend and hunting partner, Gale Hawthorne, graduated and left for Maryland this past summer. He’ll be in Annapolis, training to become an officer and a marine while I’ll be up to my elbows in wild turkey and white-tail deer.

Even though I’m happy for him, I can’t help but feel saddened by his absence. Now there will be no one to watch my back in the woods. No one to help me carry a hundred or more pound buck back if I manage to bring one down like I did two years ago.

The only thing I can think of is maybe asking my boss, Haymitch if I can borrow his truck and if I can rig up a travois then—

The bell rings and I’m snapped out of my thoughts by the shuffle of feet and the whoops of excitement and laughter that my classmates let out at the sound of the last period ending.

I pick up my old hunter-green JanSport, that’s due for another patch of duck tape soon, sling it over one shoulder and make my way to the door.

My exit is delayed by the clump of jocks jostling each other playfully around the doorframe. I breathe out an annoyed huff as I wait for them to pass.

One of them, one of the kinder ones, turns around and shoots me an apologetic look, bright, clear blue eyes shine back at me for a moment before his friends call his attention and pull him roughly behind them. A piece of folded-up paper falls out of the side pocket of his backpack in the midst of this and lands at my feet.

I swoop down to pick it up and my mouth opens to call out his name but the words died on my lips before they can slip off my tongue.

I catch sight of something completely unexpected when I automatically glance down at the paper in my hand. It's the letters K.E. inscribed neatly on the corner that spark my curiosity and prompt my hand to open up the folded paper to see what’s inside.

I lose my ability to speak, to even think for a moment because it’s me.

I’m staring down at a picture of my own face, straight dark hair pulled back into an unseen braid that hangs down my back, while a few stray pieces fall around my eyes, framing an oval-shaped face, dark brows perch surreptitiously over slanted grey eyes and a straight nose above a generous mouth that’s for once not tilted down into a frown, but is instead caught in a relaxed position, not quite smiling but something like the ghost of it, is settled on my lips. And my head is tilted to the side, curiously.

I have no idea when he caught me making this expression. Maybe when I was looking out the window? When did he draw this? Why did he draw this? Is this some sort of practice for art class? I think he takes Ms. Portia’s intermediate art class at the same time I take shop. I’ve seen him going into that wing of the school because it’s right across from the shop building. Maybe he’s just practicing his life study skills. Maybe he’s taking turns drawing everyone in our history class.

I move forward and stick my head out the door, calling out, “Peeta,” but the hallway is empty.

I look back down at the drawing in my hand and fold it back up carefully, before slipping it into the most secure pocket of my backpack, thinking I’ll give it back to him tomorrow.

#thg #everlark #fanfiction #lemonluvwrites #peeta mellark #katniss everdeen #the hunger games #high school au #modern au #Paper Hearts

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katana-no-neko · 2 years

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The “secret’s out” fic that everyone in this fandom has written lol

rated T

~~~

"Thorn Princess," Twilight repeated. "I'm familiar with the name."

"As you should be," Franky nodded. "She's the deadliest assassin you can find in Ostania." Twilight flipped through the assignment file. "She's a contract killer; gets her job and takes care of it, so to speak. She doesn't seem to have any political motives of her own, but the same can't be said for her clientele. Intel says her target tonight is a Westalis politician in Berlint for a diplomatic conference."

"And my assignment is to stop his assassination before it can happen, I see." Twilight skimmed through the pages again. "No visuals on the Thorn Princess?"

"She's quite good at going unseen. All the agency knows is that she's got dark hair, reportedly."

Twilight nodded, not bothering to question the odd stress Franky had placed on 'the agency'. He gave one last look before closing the case file and moving to leave.

"Last thing," Franky said, pausing to formulate his words. "Just... Make sure you look before you leap on this mission."

Twilight quirked an eyebrow. "Of course I will, it's always tactically advantageous to assess the situation before jumping into the fray, if it can be helped."

Franky let out a short laugh. "Of course, Twilight." The spy handed the case file back over and turned to head home and prepare for the mission. "Hey, I lied, one last thing!" Twilight paused, quirking his eyebrow again. "How's it going with your wife?" Franky snickered with a wink.

Loid's cheeks took on a slight tinge. Franky had found out that the Forger couple had recently discovered each other intimately, and he took every chance he could to tease the spy about it. Loid supposed he could deal with it though, as Franky had given his word that the agency wouldn't find out through him.

The spy coughed, "Everything is quite alright with her." And Franky didn't need to be a spy to understand that that was Twilight code for "Yor and I are still madly in love".

~~~

As Twilight mopped a hallway in his custodial disguise, he kept his eyes and ears closely attached to room 508 of the luxurious hotel the politician was staying at. The spy glanced at his watch. 21:56. Thorn Princess's target was due back in his room at 22:00, according to the itinerary the agency had procured. The entire rest of the day, the politician would be tailed by highly trained bodyguards and surrounded by civilians, so the only time Thorn Princess would have to attack would be at the end of the day in the privacy of his room.

At 22:03, Twilight began to wonder if Plan B (the plan he'd put together should the politician fail to arrive at his room) would need to be set in motion, before he heard a tipsy laugh from the stairwell, as well as a more feminine chuckle, most likely from the politician and the assassin, respectively. No doubt she was disguising herself as a 'lady friend'. Showtime. He ducked into a corner to remain out of their line of sight and pulled his cap lower to hide his already masked face and got to work mopping again. As the source of the laugh came through the stairwell and into the hallway, Twilight spared a glance to confirm it was his politician, and then took a look at the woman.

Oh my god.

Oh my god!

It took every ounce of self-control not to break character.

He listened carefully as he heard his wife laugh at something the politician said. Very fakely, he might add, though it must not be obvious to the other man, because soon he was unlocking his suite's door and leading Yor Briar Forger inside.

Twilight's mind was racing as he analyzed the situation.

Yor was here, with the politician, in his bedroom. She was either cheating on him, or she was the Thorn Princess. And somehow, he just knew there was no chance in hell it was the former, even trying to push aside personal feelings to look at the situation through a logical lens. Puzzle pieces began clicking into place. Her occasional long nights out 'with girls from work', whom he knew she disliked. The blood stains he'd seen on some of her clothing. The scars he'd seen on her body.

Loid wondered how his life had gotten to the point that it was more logical for his wife to be an assassin than having an affair.

And that was when he remembered he was supposed to be stopping the Thorn Princess (his wife!!) from assassinating her target.

Twilight immediately dashed to the room, not bothering to drop the mop, and slammed the door open with a powerful kick.

What greeted the spy was a wide eyed, stunned Yor standing in front of the window, bathed in moonlight, blade poised to take the life of the (currently unconscious, passed out drunk?) politician he was meant to protect.

Beautiful was his first thought. Shit was his second, because he remembered he was still in disguise, and it didn't take long for Yor's instincts to kick in and attempt to silence the, what she assumed was, janitor who was witnessing her crime.

Fortunately for Loid, he was quite skilled at self defense and managed to deflect her blade with the mop he was still holding. The sharp blade nearly sliced right through the wooden handle and Twilight set to disarm her as soon as he could, using every ounce of agency training he had to grapple with his wife, heat pulsing through his veins in an odd way. He would worry about that little tidbit later though.

She had him backed against a wall, but he managed to swipe a kick at her, causing Yor to stumble and giving him the chance to hit her raised wrist with a strong jab of the mop. Her hand spasmed, she dropped the blade, and Twilight took the moment to reach his hands around her, grab each end of the mop handle and pull it against her back, pressing her against himself. Both assassin and spy were breathing heavily.

She only took a moment to be surprised by the action before she was grabbing another, much smaller knife out of her garter belt and moving to swipe against his neck, her mouth opening to say her line.

"Wait-" Loid gasped out in between his pants, dropping the mop and grabbing the hand of hers that was poised to end his life. Her eyes widened at the voice. He finally tore his mask off, gazing at her while she stared back at him, recognition swimming into her eyes as she dropped the knife, it stabbing into the ground with a thud.

"Loid?" she whispered, confusion laced in her voice.

The spy turned them around so that her back was against the wall before he grasped her lips in a feverish kiss, adrenaline (and arousal??) still pumping through his veins. She eagerly returned it, wrapping her arms around his broad shoulders. It was after Loid broke the kiss to catch his breath again that Yor finally spoke again. "Why are you here? What's going on exactly?"

"You're the Thorn Princess," he stated matter-of-factly. She looked away from him in shame and nodded shortly. He gently took her chin and turned her back to look at him. "And I'm Twilight the Spy." Her eyes widened and her brows furrowed. "And I'm going to have to ask you not to assassinate him." Loid used his head to gesture toward the floor where the politician (who yes, was still breathing, he confirmed with a glance) was still laying after passing out.

She jumped slightly at the reminder of her target before shaking her head and looking back at him. "You're a spy. That makes a surprising amount of sense..." she said quietly, pondering in much the same way as Loid had done upon his own realization from earlier. "Master spy and deadly assassin... What a pair we make..." she paused, collecting her thoughts. "What does this mean for us?"

"I still love you very very much, Yor. It would be illogical to condemn you for the blood on your hands when I have plenty on mine. So as long as you're okay... Nothing much has to change."

She paused for a moment, heart telling her to return his sentiment, but anxiety still lingering plenty. "Can I ask... Why are you a spy?" Yor asked.

"You can," Loid nodded. "I..." He paused, not used to admitting his backstory out loud. "I grew up in a world torn apart by war and conflict. My family was killed when I was still a child because of it. Now that Westalis is beginning to see peace again, I'm doing what I can to keep it that way. To keep another Ostania-Westalis war from breaking out." He paused again, thoughts going to his daughter. "To make sure no child ever has to cry like I did."

Yor could see the raw sincerity in his eyes. As good a liar as he seemed to be, something told her he was being truthful at this moment. She leaned up and pressed her lips softly against his again. "I love you too," she assured, stepping back. "And I'll trust you. I won't kill him," she decided, picking up one of the knives that she'd dropped earlier. "If you say he shouldn't be killed, then I'll trust you."

Loid picked up her other blade and handed it to her. "Thank you. I know how being a Westalian spy probably looks to an Ostanian, but I promise, I'm trying to do the right thing, the good thing, through the work I do. I want to make the world a better place."

Yor smiled. "That sounds just like you. And if it means anything, you've definitely made it better for at least two people - Anya and I."

Loid kissed her. "That means everything." His heart thumped loudly with the overwhelming love he felt for Yor in that moment. "Because you two mean everything." They both smiled as they kissed again, before Yor suddenly went rigid under him. "Yor? Are you okay?"

"If you're here, and I'm here... Who's with Anya!?"

~~~

The pair rushed away from the crime scene (banking that the politician wouldn't recall anything he may have seen before passing out) and darted to their apartment. The speed at which Yor yanked the door open nearly took it off its hinges, and they ran in to find Franky on the couch watching some cartoon, with Anya curled up beside him, sleeping soundly.

The informant laughed when he saw the couple's faces. "You guys should really start coordinating your jobs," he commented, standing up carefully to not wake the child. "Cuz I ain't a babysitter."

Yor and Loid both sighed in relief that Anya hadn't been left home alone. "Thank you, Franky. We appreciate it," Yor told him, deciding not to question how much he knew about tonight as she moved to bring Anya to bed.

Franky nodded in response to her, then unabashedly held his hand in front of Loid for some cash. Loid rolled his eyes, but dug his wallet out nonetheless. "Hey," he started, while Franky counted his payment and decided it was sufficient. "You could have warned me my wife was my target tonight."

"Heh," Franky smirked. "That woulda taken the fun out of it."

#loidyor #loidyor fanfiction #twiyor #spy x family #spy x family fanfiction #haleigh writes fanfiction #I still love them alskdjf #I'm so upset because they have the whole manga so far at my library per my request lol but 3's arrival is delayed sob

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sea-owl · 1 year

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Could you imagine an au where the Bridgertons weren't a family of love matches but instead practiced arranged marriages? Like Violet and Edmund still loved each other but they were lucky with their arrangment.

Imagine them interviewing these kids looking for the most advantageous match for their brood and to everyone's confusion they chose these certian kids.

Yeah it makes sense to engage a future duke to their oldest daughter. In fact it is the only engagment to make sense. Really Edmund you have your pick of the entire ton. Instead you have chosen a girl whose family is one bad deal away from becoming fortune hunters, a bastard, a Featherington so shy she might as well be mute, and two spares. Truly Edmund you could do better for your children and the future if the viscounty.

Edmund only smirks because these fools have no idea what gems they are passing up.

While Simon is the perfect option on paper it is nothing compared to the real boy who wants nothing more than to love and be loved. He may be scared but he has love ready to share, and that’s exactly what Daphne has been hoping for all her life.

Yes, Kate's family is not that well off but there is no one that challenges Anthony like she does. Hell Edmund has seen her out stubborn Anthony when she managed to steal the mallet of death from him. Not only will Kate be a good viscountess, but she will also help shape Anthony into a good viscount.

Sophie is still learning her numbers but she's already better at budgeting than Benedict. So what if she’s illegitimate, that’s fixed by one stroke of the pen or one rumor. Plus, with her dry wit and calm demeanor it is sure help balance Benedict who has his head in the clouds.

Penelope may be extremely shy, but she has a way of observing others that she is rarely fooled by some mask. Edmund himself has witnessed it when Penelope toddled over to Colin one day and asked what was wrong like he wasn’t putting on his charming persona. Also, the girl is an excellent conversationist for her age once you get her to warm up to you.

Edmund would very much gladly engage his daughters to the spares. While George may have the charm to be a lord Phillip had the mind of an academic. Eloise would never be bored with him and he can challenge her mentally. The rest of the ton Emdund was not so sure of.

John is a lovely boy and he will go good things once he is the Earl of Kilmartin but who would be put first, the title or his wife. Michael on the other hand had a way of making others feel seen, something Edmund knows his quiet Francesca struggles with.

So yes on paper his future children in-laws may not be the best choice for his kids but when you actually get to know them they are the perfect choice.

#i only went up to six because hyacinth and lucy were not born yet when edmund passed #violet finished them out when she was ready #anthony kind of shadowed her when she did it #bridgerton #saphne #kathony #benopie #polin #philoise #franchael

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randomnameless · 3 months

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@zeroabyss replied to your post “@zeroabyss replied to your post “Since I'm...”:

Yes dead. Rhea wouldn’t have given up the chase otherwise, nor is she implied to have dedicated any military force to finding him at any point innthe current days. We know they were eventually called the 10 Elites because Nemesis and the rest pretended Maurice was dead the moment he became a Beast and disappeared, and History likewise remembered it as only ten. Nothing in the game suggests Rhea thought Maurice was still out there, and she absolutely would not have let him live if she knew he was around due to knowing she made sure to hunt down the other ten.

Bear in mind in Nopes Maurice being part of the Elites is documented, and they later became the 10 Elites (rather than 10+1) because of the "curse" associated to that Crest.

The same book suggests Maurice became "unhinged" after a battle in Gronder - so before Tailtean?

Rhea hunting the Elites is, imo, fueled by both vengeance/retribution but also by the wish to recover whatever was left of her siblings - Maurice "slained" a Holy Warrior and was still hoarding Blutgang - Rhea wants to recover relics (it's the reason behind Constance and Yuri's paralogue in FE16 and it's mentionned in Balthus'!).

Imo, even if Maurice died in a ditch, Rhea would have wanted to "recover" the relic.

So, in a way, the hunt for Maurice should have been both a hunt to rekt him - if he was alive - and a hunt to recover what was left of Bob - the Nabatean who became Blutgang.

Now, in the modern times, we know there are rumours and legends about a demonic beast in Mircea's forest, I can't fathom Rhea/the CoS not knowing a thing about it (hell, why weren't they asked to deal with this issue?) so why wasn't she taking care of him?

As Rhea the Archbishop, maybe she mellowed a bit and adopts a more "reaction" approach, if a relic pops up she will acquire it, but she won't send her people look behind every rock and box if there's a relic inside.

But as Seiros the Warrior? The same Seiros who went to war and spent around 100 years to hunt Nemesis? Who continued to hunt the Elites after Nemesis' death? This Seiros would have let Maurice escape or Bob remain in the ditch Maurice died in (if Maurice died)?

I can't see it - unless there is some event that makes her drop the "Warrior" persona and adopt her more passive "Archbishop" persona - which is what this headcanon (lycaon's death) tried to explain :

Seiros the Warrior is so gung-ho on avenging her dead siblings and "recovering" them that she cannot protect the future (Lycaon's supposed golden rule and the happily ever after ending post WoH!) and the present (Lycaon as a person? Especially if he was her kid!), so Archbishop Rhea (and her many names!) will try to oversee the present - if there is a relic around she'll recover it but she won't exclusively focus on it and won't spare attention to Momo when there are people who currently need her help right now (just like relics though, if there is an opportunity or occasion where Archbishop Rhea can face Momo or meet him, he's dead meat) - and the future - her rez Sothis plan.

#zeroabyss #replies #eff Maurice his paralogue throws so many questions unanswered #why is he still alive and the nabateans didn't murdilate him #or even in general if there are rumours about a dangerous beast in Mircea #why wasn't the CoS and its KoS tasked with getting rid of it #3 Nopes #it basically has a book for common use and not a super secret one saying Momo left and loitered in Mircea #maybe it's rumour or something but why no one went to check?#and since those books belong to the CoS in the first place I can't believe Rhea didn't know or heard of it #so why is he still alive in FE16? Did he spend his time running away?#idk #10k years of lore

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stellerssong · 3 months

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5 and 29 please?

5—what’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

having given the matter a great deal of thought, i’ve come to the conclusion that i have no interest in writing a corinthian/lucienne femdom hatesex on the beach fic, on the grounds that i’m personally not compelled by the fantasy it presents. apologies to everyone who read the middle section of that sentence and immediately went AWOOGA AWOOGA BARK BARK BARK BARK AWOOOOO like a cartoon character. i know you are out there and i heard you do it.

the real bummer of this whole affair, though, is the fact that “beg me to spare thee the back of my hand” would have been a kickass title. free to a good home, friends!

29—share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic.

i don’t work in drafts, so everything that’s been cut from existing fics has been sent to hell already. but what i CAN offer you is this (probably obnoxiously long) snippet from a portion of wereverse that i will probably never actually post about, lovingly nicknamed, “the bath time fic”:

The tub isn’t quite wide enough for them to sit side-by-side, and he moves toward the tap a little so Lucienne can lower herself into the water, angles himself so his cheek is to her, rather than his back. A dark glitter as his gaze flicks over her body. She knows it’s ridiculous to have an attack of modesty right now, but she brings her arms up to cover her breasts. “There,” she says, too cheerful even for her own ears. “Does that help?” Dream makes a small noise in his throat. Maybe assent. Hard to tell. But he does reach out with one hand and rest his knuckles gently against Lucienne’s knee. You can tell he’s getting keyed when he starts grabbing and clinging and clawing at you. Light touches are a good sign. They mean he’s present enough to be careful. (Well. They mean something’s present enough, says a voice in her head that sounds a lot like Cori. She ignores that, as best she can.) “Is the water warm enough?” A nod. Better and better. “Do you need me to soap you, or…?” Silence for a moment. Dream’s throat works, like there’s a reply stuck in there trying to get out, but in the end he just unfolds one slim arm and picks up the bar of soap himself. “All right. Well…” Lucienne settles herself a little uncomfortably against the back of the tub. “Just—let me know. If you need anything.” His white lashes go up like a pair of dove’s wings. Luminous dark underneath, whites visible only at the corners. A creature’s eyes, an animal’s eyes, for all that he’s being so good about holding onto his human shape. That’s going to be…difficult to explain to people not in the know about his condition, at some point, but Lucienne’s not thinking about that yet, she’s just thinking about immediate concerns, practicalities— He shifts position slightly so the tips of his toes are resting against hers. A faint line works its way in between his brows. He still doesn’t speak, but that expression is plain as black ink on white paper: is this okay? Lucienne has to smile at that. Her face aches, like she’s lost the muscle memory sometime in the past however-many weeks. Footsie. Aren’t the two of them fucking adorable.

#chatter #ask games #the proper name of the bath time fic is ''here as the caves of my memory'' which is also something of a banger title #but whatever whatever! it's never getting posted. lucienne and dream take a bath together and lucienne is extremely sad #about the confusingness of loss when the person you lost is still alive in a way but is being grimly Practical about it #and dream has severe neurological trauma from being resurrected. also he's a werewolf still. and a beautiful magic boy.#and autistic. and et cetera #wereverse truly the ''dream racks up as many character modifiers as humanly or werewolfenly possible'' au

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sapphire-weapon · 8 months

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Do you have an headcanons on the direct aftermath of RE4R? I imagine there would be a lot of activity once they're both back on American soil, but I also feel like there's probably time for them to kill between getting off the jet ski and getting back home.

So an idea I've really been enjoying is that Leon takes the jet ski back to the village, takes the police cruiser that dropped him off (because this one doesn't go off of a bridge and fucking catch on fire like the one in OG lmao it's still just waiting there near the farm house), and retreads the road he took coming in in order to get back to the town he started in and, specifically, to the police station that was initially helping him out.

Because my thing is, like. They end up literally in the middle of fucking nowhere. I can't even tell what type of body of water that's supposed to be -- and, if it is actually the ocean, how the hell would Leon be able to get his bearings out there? Hunnigan's transmissions still aren't coming through, and it's not like he's able to connect to some sort of satellite navigation system. The only thing that makes sense to me is for them to not go very far at all and just sort of stay in terrain that's still familiar.

Of course, that then runs into the issue of the white American guy who's caked in mud and blood and literal shit and has like 20 guns strapped to him stepping out of a stolen police cruiser with the daughter of the US President. They would have to get hidden from public view as quickly as goddamn possible, and they'd have to get in touch with US military officers or other officials who have been looped in on this whole thing.

So, that's a whole thing that's like "this is the only thing that makes sense to me in terms of the logistics of how they get out of there and get back to civilization."

And now I'm going to tell you my purely self-indulgent headcanons of what happens after that, all of which have no basis in reality at all and fuck you I do what I want.

Once they get back to actual human society again and US authorities are notified of their safety and their location, the next thing to deal with is the fact that Leon has not slept or eaten in over 24 hours (well... proper slept; the 3-hour nap he took after the Del Lago fight is the only real rest he's had in this time), and Ashley isn't faring much better. Not only that, but they both had fucking radiation surgery just a few short hours ago, and Leon just basically fought an entire goddamn war all on his own.

They're both also probably coughing and hacking up bug parts at random intervals, but that's like a whole thing on its own.

There's an urgency to get them back States-side, sure -- but, considering the condition that they're both in, it's probably unsafe to actually put either of them in a plane right now. So, that means that they remain in the custody of/the responsibility of the poor, unfortunate, unlucky local Spanish chief of police that got tasked with being wrapped up in this bullshit in the first place.

So there's not much he can really do other than take both of them home with him.

His wife is thrilled (not). Thankfully, there's a spare bedroom in the house, because their kids are already adults and have long since moved out.

This gives Leon and Ashley both a chance to shower and eat something and sleep in an actual bed in an actual house. They're both also gifted a change of clothes, which makes Ashley break down and cry briefly with relief and gratitude -- and the sight of her doing that makes Leon choke up a little bit, too, but he maintains his composure.

And if you really didn't think I was going to "there's only one bed" this shit, like... what the fuck are we even doing here, man.

Leon tries to be like "I'll just sleep on the floor" at first because he's a dumb idiot boy, but Ashley's basically just like "if you don't lie down on this fucking bed I swear to god I'm going to start screaming and I don't know when or if I'm going to stop." because her nerves are shot and she's had her fill of Leon being the self-sacrificing hero and she just wants him to be comfortable and sleep on a fucking mattress that's dressed in clean sheets.

And despite how physically exhausted they both are, neither of them can seem to stay asleep more than an hour or two at a time. Every little bump and noise jolts them awake and puts them both on hyper alert, and they both have to remind themselves where they are and that they're safe and that they're jumping at shadows. And when they do finally drift back off again, it's not Ashley who has nightmares -- it's Leon. She, at one point, needs to wake him up from one particularly bad one that had him twitching and tossing and talking in his sleep. When he wakes, it's the first and only time Ashley can recall having ever seen him look truly afraid -- of anything.

They spend this time in between stretches of sleep having quiet conversations in hushed tones, and those conversations get deep and personal and vulnerable and intimate -- because they both feel like they're in a liminal space and none of this is really real, and when the new day comes and they're on their way back home, neither of them will remember what was said between them.

Of course, that's not true. But that's how it goes.

The best sleep they get is when they finally let go of the pretense between them and cling to each other for warmth and comfort. Leon holds her in his arms, and Ashley nuzzles the bridge of her nose into the nape of his neck, and their legs are tangled up between them. If we're feeling spicy, we can also add some slow, sensual makeouts and light-to-heavy petting also as well.

In fact, that's probably the best sleep Leon's had in years, period.

But the new day eventually breaks, and then it's off to rendezvous with some high-ranking military personnel and finally, really and truly, start the journey back home.

And that, officially, is where their fairy tale ends and reality comes back in.

#resident evil 4 #leon kennedy #ashley graham #eagleone

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margridarnauds · 2 months

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So, my Honour Mode Anathematisma Run, aka "How Many Ways Can I Fuck Up This Run Without Dying"

So, I got the Friends cantrip, which I've never really used before on this difficulty level. This is important for down the line.

Ana is RIDICULOUSLY powerful because I installed a cambion mod because it's what Hell's Little Princess deserves.

We easily demolish most of the early Act 1 things that can end an Honour Mode run easily, even getting the Everburn blade.

Then...we get to the Grove. I'm not able to prevent Zevlor from being punched by Aradin, but it's *fine*. Kagha's there, wants to speak with us, etc.

Ana goes to talk with her with her bardy powers

Because this is Honour Mode and redos are MUCH more expensive (and I don't want Arabella to die), I use. The Friends cantrip.

It succeeds, Arabella runs free.

Then...it runs out. Kagha and co. turn hostile immediately.

Worse, when I try to run out as a way of getting RID of the temporarily hostile buff, the druids decide that's the time to start the tiefling genocide party. I'm able to take down Kagha and the remaining druids, but then I have to take down the rest outside.

It's...not pretty.

I'm able to put them down, but there are a lot of casualties. Including Wyll and Dammon. Wyll...who is Ana's canonical love interest.

Okay, fine, this would make me reload another game, but we can move ON from this. It'll be *fine*. Especially once I resurrect Wyll. We're back on track.

I still have to give Rath money in order to make him like me again even though he turned on Kagha.

...I go to recruit Karlach. She shames me for killing everyone in the Grove. Calls Wyll a rat.

...well, she's not joining our side AND was rude, so she's gotta die.

Okay, so a lot of people are dead AND Karlach's dead, but we can move on from this.

I go to the Owlbear cave after convincing the expendable Absolutists to avenge their brother. The owlbear cub stays hostile after I kill both of the older owlbears. I have to knock it out. (I'd been hoping to trigger Wyll Approval Points by sparing it in the cutscene)

I go to the Zhentarim locked in the cave. Unfortunately, even though I succeed in convincing Flind to kill all her pack mates, I'm not able to get her to eat herself. So she's gotta go.

I'm not able to win this fight because my team's exhausted after everything else, so I'm able to book a retreat with Astarion.

I get everyone resurrected, do a long rest, go back, kill Flind. Rugan and his buddy are dead, but they're Banites (albeit hot Banites), so I don't care about them.

Go to Waukeen's Rest, save everyone there, go to the Zhentarim hideout, hand over the chest. I go to negotiate for the painter's release. And I use. Friends.

I have to fight the Zhentarim.

At least I got a Titanstring bow out of it.

Astarion is lagging behind in approval, so I decide to go to the swamp. He kills Gandrel instantly because he hasn't revealed he's a vampire.

I go back to the Goblin Camp, prepared to kill the leaders + make it to the Underdark (it's...going to be fun giving Halsin the news). I go to Priestess Gut, especially since she's USUALLY the easiest to kill.

...some combination of my dialogue means she isn't willing to even talk to me and tells me to go away. So I have to initiate combat. I cast Silence so she won't call for help, but she runs outside of it and does it anyway.

She then DRAGS Roah Moonglow, aka One of the OTHER Best Merchants In Act One, into the battle. I have to put MORE Zhentarim down as well as deal with Priestess Gut.

Eventually, I kill all of them.

So, at the moment, Ana has a relatively poor relationship with Astarion (even though she allows him to munch on her), not NEARLY as good a relationship as she could have with Wyll (even though she's making him worse now that Karlach's gone), Gale has been asking for magical artifacts freakishly fast, we've lost a total of four merchants, the druids are dead, and Karlach is McFucking Dead. And I honestly have no idea whether the Owlbear Cub will spawn, especially since Korra is too focused on me poisoning her friends to want to play Chicken Chase.

And we still haven't had the chance for the Family Reunion with Raphael.