#and just thought about how good life is and its so good im so grateful to be alive right now

[crescentfool]

i love ryomina

no but seriously. even when i’m thinking about other things that captivate my interest, i find myself coming back to them and feeling like i fell down three whole flights of staircases every time i do. they are one of my favorite pairs in media and are very special to me.

it’s the way that ryoji and minato’s lives are inevitably intertwined with each other due to the circumstances 10 years ago on the moonlight bridge. without no minato, there is no ryoji. minato as he is today is because of ryoji. they have irreparably affected each other’s lives that you cannot discuss one without bringing up the other one.

ryoji mochizuki, who is death, pharos, thanatos, nyx avatar, the man of many names and identities, is the perfect summation of p3′s messages and themes.

minato arisato, the wildcard and protagonist, who has boundless kindness in his actions despite the unfortunate cards handed to him.

the two of them complement each other and tell a beautiful story from start to finish.

minato’s personas capture this perfectly. he awakens to orpheus, who’s flames burns bright, is snuffed out by thanatos during the encounter against the arcana magician. a visual precursor of the idea that ryoji stole from the life that minato could have had.

it’s the way that over the course of the game as minato interacts with pharos, talking throughout the dark hour, forging a bond that cannot be broken, that allows ryoji to exist. minato humanizes death.

november. the bells toll, calling the appriser. and yet, it’s peaceful... quiet, and full of life. ryoji, who breaks free from death’s chains, refusing his role, is given the chance to live for a month. to make the most of the humanity that minato has given him over those ten years. and what a life he lived. ryoji’s life is a reflection of what minato’s life could have been like in another universe.

it is the way the two of them are reflections of each other. ryoji with his hair down is just like minato. they are both stubbornly committed to choosing to be kind, to love life, yet are chained down by the cards the narrative dealt them with. they finish each other’s sentences, knowing each other intimately in a way no one else does.

how is that, a boy who lived for only one month, profoundly changes the course of the narrative? he is simultaneously relevant and irrelevant. blink, and you miss it, the beautiful life that he led.

ryoji is horrified at the revelations of being the appriser. he who so desperately wished to forget that his existence was meant to bring the end to all life, was unable to escape the inevitability of death. in a non-human way, of course. he becomes remorseful. a shadow of his brief time as a human who was enamored by the small beautiful things that life had to offer.

he is swallowed by grief. grief knowing that his very existence will take away not only minato’s life, but everyone else’s. the very thing that ryoji loved- life, fundamentally went against the role he was born for- to be the harbinger of death. and unable to grapple with this sadness he believes that the best thing for minato to do is to kill him, so that SEES can live in bliss not knowing about their inevitable end.

SEES is left rattled, calling into question what the meaning of life is and what they do when faced against the inevitability of death.

and!!! minato chooses!! for ryoji to live!! even in spite of what ryoji is MEANT to embody, minato still stubbornly chooses to defy death itself! and if that’s not cool i don’t know what is!! minato wants everyone to have the chance to live!!

so he climbs. he ascends tartarus, to meet ryoji, again, who is now the nyx avatar. and i just think there’s something so so beautiful about being able to use messiah, minato’s ultimate persona, against nyx avatar.

messiah, being the fusion of orpheus and thanatos is peak ryomina to me. because ryoji and minato have established an unbreakable bond from having been entwined for 10 years, minato still has a piece of death with him, and by proxy!! ryoji is able to defy and rebel against nyx trying to bring the fall! and i think that’s fucking cool shit if you ask me!

even when all of the arcanas have been gone through, it’s still not enough to stop the fall. and yet. minato knows. in the way that ryoji was sealed in minato 10 years ago by aigis... minato becomes the great seal so that everyone can live. it comes full circle.

march rolls around. he fulfills his promise to SEES on graduation day. minato dies from exhaustion. but goddamn does his sacrifice make me weep- he’s had such, such a tiring journey. he’s been through so many things because he was at the wrong place at the wrong time. but at the end of it all, he’s reunited with ryoji in death.

and i think this is why ryomina continues to evoke so much emotions for me, to this day. the relationship that they have embodies so much of persona 3′s messages and themes that it makes me feel like a microwave with nothing running in it.

p3′s message is very hopeful, for me. my favorite takeaway from it is that even if death is inevitable, appreciating the life that we were given and choosing to live as best as we can with kindness (even if we can’t feasibly do everything), is just? really nice? and you see this manifest in both ryoji and minato’s personalities and what they do for the other characters.

ryomina just feels so distinct to me, the flavor that their relationship ties back to my favorite takeaways from this game and im just!!  god!! i love you minato arisato! i love you ryoji mochizuki! im so glad that i could meet them! i’m happy that they changed my life! they made me want to appreciate the connections in life even if they were fleeting! they made me!! want to pay attention to the good moments in life and cherish them!

i love ryomina so much!!! i’m so glad that these two could bring so much joy into my life! and i hope that others can have this joy too! 💛💙

#lizzy speaks #persona 3 #ryomina #ryoji mochizuki #minato arisato #meta #long post #(literally) #HI SO UM YESTERDAY I COULDN'T FUCKING SLEEP so to cope i was like 'i will talk out loud about anything and everything' #and somehow that turned into me talking about ryomina out loud and something about verbalizing my thoughts made me feel crazy about these- #two again. i mean for the record i continue to love them always very dearly but like my p3 braincells sometimes go into hibernation bc- #ive been on a really huge splatoon kick. but anyway my voice was like cracking at 3am because i was tearing up #i was like 'THE!! IM! SO NORMAL ABT WHAT ORPHEUS AND THANATOS AND MESSIAH SYMBOLIZE' etc etc etc #so i kinda just went to sleep like 'ok well you GOTTA type it out. everyone needs to know about this.' #and um i didnt mean to make 1069 words! sorry! not really! but i love them!!! even if im very quiet these days! #ohhh how lucky i am to have had the chance to experience ryomina they are such a gem. they make me so goddamn emotional #they really mean a lot to me because of well. (gestures at the entire post) but also they came at a really good point of my life and FUCK!! #im so so grateful to them!!! i love them!!!! the themes that their relationship and characters convey just !! IM SO NORMAL ABOUT IT!!! #they've affected me so profoundly and deeply and i wish i could make better art to get this across. but its ok. one day i can. one day #they make me so fucking talkative like actually but um. i had a lot of fun writing this! i dont think ive had like. a proper appreciation- #post for them that articulates why i like them so much (unless you count the essays i write in my art tags) so it was nice to make this. #admittedly theres a lot abt p3 that im rusty on since its been a goodwhile since ive interacted with the source material #and in a way you could say that like. i need to renew my p3 license LMAOOO but god some parts of p3 still have such a huge death grip on me #and what i mean by that is that the big Fucking Events have such!! clarity!! in my mind!! i recall them and i wilt on the spot!! #oh god i cant fucking shut up. the tags are probably 500 words long. enjoy my ramble. i wish every ryomina enjoyer a Good Life <3 #actually no. i hope that EVERYONE on the dash today has something that sparks joy for them the way ryomina does for me. #everyone deserves 2 have something that makes their brain do a little excited dance that makes them blow up and explode. its good for u! #BYE FOR REAL this is why i have to post my thoughts very spread out otherwise yall would have so many WORDS on ur dash pls help i have so #many emotions and i am so tiny i cannot possibly fit all the feelings i have about ryomina and other things inside my tiny little body

[glitternsparkles]

went to a party and all my college friends were there and all of them were so excited to see me and their energy was so amazing i didn't realize how much i missed them . feeling so Loved and Seen and Wanted like this is love this is love this is love like life is so great again actually

#im so happy man #im so so so so so so fucking happy #life is literally so good and i love my friends and life is just so good. it is so good. #like they made me feel so loved and seen and valued and i felt like i coukd be myself again after 2 months of not seeing them #and one of the people there we got to talking and they wanted sushi so i was like do u wanna go get some #but kroger was closed so he decided he just wanted waffle house so we just spontaneously drove to waffle house #and we got everyone food and went through one of those questionnaires to get to know each other better to pass the time #and we got to talking and we're so similar #and then before we went back in we were like we shoulf make out so we tried but he was bad at kissing #like he said he was rly shy to get intimate but he wanted to make out w me bc im hot but he was shy so he was holding back #so then i was like oh we dont have to and then i gave him a lil peck and we went back in and gave good to everyone #and then i left and i blasted my most personal playlist on the way homr w the windows down #and just thought about how good life is and its so good im so grateful to be alive right now #and im so grateful for having friends like this #and also hes a few months younger than me😈😈😈😈😈 im a cougar core #but yea older me would have been so embarassrd bc the kiss was Not going well but now i just brushed it off #like it's a bad kiss . it's not big deal #and he kept overthinking and i was trying to like comfort him but yea he was so shy it was cute #but i wanted to kiss someone at this party and i did ! manifestation core #anyways life is so good right noe and i love being unconditionally loved and everything is so good and i love myself so much #like i need to keep these people close to me bc they make me feel so fucking hapoy man #dear god #life is good life is great everything is so amazing and cool and awesome #:) #and also he was so hot lowkey like his face structure is so unique and he dresses so fucking cool but hes so shy and #overthinks everything like his personality does NOT match his looks but hes cute . hehe

[administer-distractions]

.

#how am i just supposed to go to work? #i want to do something #i feel so helpless and it feels so self centered to be thinking about this but #all i can control is myself #everything happening with israel right now is just terrifying #and im not scared for myself #even if this does break out into ww3 this wont affect me for a long time i imagine #but like #people are dying every day #if they expand into iran its only going to get worse #how am i supposed to continue my life when the middle east is on the verge of full blown war #and knowing that we're on the side funding it all #i know i cant do anything i know its not good to let things like this dominate my thoughts but #how am i supposed to not? #people in palestine dont get to pretend it isnt happening so they can go to work #there isnt an answer #im gonna go to work and live my life #ill probably get groceries tonight #because the world cant grind to a halt no matter how hard i dig my heels in #and i just feel so exhausted and selfish even if i know ive done all the measly bits i can #sorry idk i just feel hopeless #im only continuing to be grateful that no one at my job has ever mentioned any of this #idk what id do if a zionist was in my chair #i really dont

[aashiqq]

I lied

#so #dni #idek where to start man #the first thing i can remember is that im a misogynist now apparently #wait not now #ive always been #that i judge girls for living their life and guys for having what I don't have #surely not what i want to be like literally the last thing i want to be is a misogynist #the world is not a sunshine place i imagine it to be where nobody is a racist or sexist or homophobic or ableist and everybody sings hakuna #matata or sunshine songs its pathetic it makes me wanna vomit i want to be happy but it forces me to become nihilistic with my thoughts #its fucked up its just so rotten at its core that even the smallest emotions feels like a huge generosity from the gods themselves #im at the pojnt in my life thaf if i dont act now im going to lose the years ive already lost #my entirety of teenage is gone now and im unprepared and unequipped to fight around for my life #im left catching up and apparently ive been sleeping on the track even though im the turtle #it fucking sucks to be me yk #im so so soo self centred btw i cant think of others i cant care for others unless its about me somehow #i deserve to die for whatever goes on in my head its so blasphemous to existence itself its pointless to even exist anymore #i have everything a person could ask for #loving parents a normal life a good college friends who care for me and who i care for not that financially fucked up a good career #lined up in the future #i could be stable yk i could be happy grateful satistfied #i should even be working harder to achieve what i want without losing up on reality chasing my dreams #and what do i do #what the fuck do i do????? #cry over a girl just because she was supposed to *save* her virginity for when we got married??????? #how stupid is that????? #she doesnt owe me anything she can do what she wants with her life she isnt someone i control or any such thing #who am i to judge people im literally just a loser npc simpleton who's been left alone and normal so long he's forgotten how to exist #i feel disgusted with myself #its just like the times i have the wild theories about whos doing what behind my back

[81folklore]

dress - SV5 - part 2

pairings: sebastian vettel x famous!reader (fc: taylor swift)

summary: its known that seb has been married for a few years now despite the public never seeing is wife, its also known that yn is in a committed relationship and has been since she disappeared from public eye. maybe they are more connected than people realise

authors note: part two because i didnt realise how long it had gotten but im allergic to actually writing.. also i apologize for the first part literally just being build-up.. i honestly didnt know about the 30 pic limit so...

authors note 2: i used google translate for the german so i hope its correct, also i dont know if petnames like darling or sunshine are used in germany but i had to use them

authors note 3: i actually hate how this turned out :/ but it was very hard to actually get my thoughts onto the page so this will do! this is part 2 so go read part 1 first!!

part 1 part 3 masterlist

ynupdates

liked by user5, user77, olliebearman and 45,920 others

YN IN THE F1 PADDOCK TODAY, I REPEAT YN IN THE PADDOCK

view comments

user77: sorry i dont follow f1, i thought the races were on sundays?

user5: dont be sorry! today is qualifying and tomorrow is the race!

user5: SHES THERE I CANT STAY CALM

user91: does anyone know who she was with in those photos of her by the track?

user5: sebastian vettel and mick schumacher!

user6: SHE WAS WATCHING QUALIFYING WITH SEB AND MICK?? SEB VETTEL?? AND MICK SCHUMACHER?? OH LORDDD

user12: i thought i would survive.. i lied

ynupdates

liked by user5, user20, user99 and 101,782 others

seems like yn is with redbull at todays race looking as gorgous as ever!

view comments

user5: OH OH OH OH

user5: SHE IS STUNING HOLY

user20: her style recently has been AMAZING

user68: out of every team i think redbull would have been one of my last guesses

user6: THE WAY SHE IS WITH REDBULL AND SPENT QUALIFYING WITH REDBULLS GOLDEN BOY OH I FEEL SICK

user99: i love her so much

user42: at least her team will win

user591: IS SHE WEARING A WEDDING RING??

user618: i think so?? honestly i wouldnt be surprised shes very private and has been with her partner for almost 8 years so no wonder he popped the question

user90: i need her to be at every gp

ynupdates

liked by charles_leclerc, user55, user81 and 234,891 others

yn on stage performing dress during the post-race concert at suzuka! as far as we know it was a complete surprise, she came on to sing dress then left. this is her second time performing it to a live audience!

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user81: WHEN IS IT MY TURN TO HEAR DRESS LIVE

user5: charles and seb were both spotted watching her from the side of the stage!

user81: charles taking seb to see his favorite artist..what if i cried

user55: i cant believe i lost dress twice without even knowing i could lose it😭

user8: i hope she had so much fun, ive missed her doing stuff like this :’)

user12: apparently she was laughing and looking off stage at someone throughout, possibly her partner?

user1: SHE AWLAYS LOOKS SO GOOD

user13: so much content this weekend..im going to have major withdrawls

yourusername

liked by sebastianvettel, mickschumacher and 13,712,847 others

four years ago i was given the pleasure of marrying my best friend

i am unable to really put into words how much meeting you and getting to spend the rest of my life with you has changed my life seb, but i tell you i love you enough daily that i hope you understand

when we first met i had no idea how much you would impact me and the way i think, but you have helped me become the woman i am today and i am forever grateful for that

i often feel unworthy of the life you have given me, the life we have together. i wonder how i got to be the one you love and cherish and i know how lucky i am to be the one you spend your life with

you gave me your heart and i promise to look after it for as long as im here, i promise to keep it safe and i know you will look after mine

danke, dass du mich liebst, danke, dass du dich um mich kümmerst. (thank you for loving me, thank you for taking care of me) Ich verspreche, dich bis zu meinem letzten Atemzug zu lieben. (I promise to love you until my last breath) Ich werde nie aufhören, dich zu lieben, Mein Sonnenschein. (I will never stop loving you, my sunshine)

tagged: sebastianvettel

comments on this post have been limited

sebastianvettel: Danke, dass du dein Herz geöffnet hast und mich dich lieben lässt, mein Schatz (Thank you for opening your heart and letting me love you, my darling)

sebastianvettel

liked by yourusername, lewishamilton and 8,728,712 others

I won the most important race. It was the race into the heart of the love of my life, yn. I love you.

view comments

yourusername: 🩵🩵🩵

user5: I CANT DO THIS STOP

user12: hes so sweet :(

user18: ive known about them for a total of 2 minutes but i love them already🫡

user6: dress was written about him…

user71: i feel ill wehn will i get posted like this

sebastianvettel

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername, landonorris and 10,120,859 others

the sunshine of my life

view comments

yourusername: i love you so much

lewishamilton: very happy for you mate!

user13: THEY LOVE EACHOTHER SO MUCH OH MY GOD😭😭

landonorris: 🥹🥹

user82: DRESS WAS WRITTEN BY HER FOR HIM AND HE WAS PROUD OF IT OH LORD

user5: literally my favorite people in the entire universe🫶

user19: still in shock that theyve been married for four years

#f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 smau #f1 social media au #social media au #formula 1 insta au #formula 1 social media au #sebastian vettel x reader #sebastian vettel fanfic #sebastian vettel #famous!swift!yn

[diaryofaprettyprincess]

thinking some thoughts about ghost x sunshine!disneyprincess-energy!reader..

OKAY THESE ARE JUST SOME CUTE THIUGHTS BUT LIKE OKAY. what if reader is just so incredibly sweet to everyone and everything n simon is just standing behind her like a guard, all scary and intimidating.. like shes such a disney princess!! BUTBUT what if she teaches him how to be gentle?? like he’s spent so many years of his life killing people for his job and using his hands to hurt others for his work. he’s been told his whole life that he needs to toughen up, so what if reader just completely brings out the incredibly soft side of him that he didn’t even know was there?

i can just imagine reader doing cute things and simon standing idly by whilst she picks flowers from the ground to put in her purse so she can make pressed flowers bookmarks for the both of them?? his heart just melts at the sight when you knelt down to pick some pretty yellow flowers in the summertime when you two went for a nice summer’s evening walk.

or you find this like baby chick by your home (cuz u both live in a cottage area, duh) and its wing is hurt so you squat down; a bright, but kind, grin on your face. you put your hands outward in a bowl-like shape, sweetly whispering to the injured creature as it chirps, “cmere, you poor thing..” when the chick waddles in your hands, simon swears you must be a fairy of some sort. simon watches you intently--one of his favorite activities. the way the chick trusts you immediately..he can’t take it you are so perfect.

the yellow fuzz ball of a chick chirps every so often, and you use gentle hands to pet it before standing up and looking up at simon, eyes wide and full of joy.

he smiles, his cheeks dimpling when you giggle and pet the chick.

“you wanna hold him?” you ask quietly, as to not threaten the bird—or possibly to relax simon’s tense body. before he can respond, you say, “here, open your hand---"

he hesitates. “what if i hurt it?“ he asks, genuine concern sounding in his gruff voice (although it's more quiet than usual as to not frighten the chicklet).

you pout slightly, glossy lips turned down.

“you won’t," you begin with a comforting smile, trying to comfort your burly boyfriend. simon nibbles his bottom lip as he glances his dark eyes from you, then to the bird, then you again. "i promise you won't hurt 'im, simmey. hold him like you hold me when im sad! okay?"

he nods faintly, letting out a small chuckle.

carefully, you bring the baby chick closer to him as you tell him to cup his hands together.

his body is stiff as he holds the chick, small chirps from the animal making him nervous.

“see? you’re doin so good, simmey !!” you encourage, running a comforting hand along his tattooed bicep. the chick is completely dwarfed in ghost’s tattooed, scarred hands.

something so innocent being cared for by someone so..not.

like the relationship between the two of you.

not that simon was a bad man—far from it. he just never knew the power of being gentle.

and he was so grateful that you brought that out of him; a soft, loving gaze and smile set on his hardened features as he watched you stand on your tippy toes and pet the bird gently with your pointer finger.

#coquette #sunshine!reader #simonriley #simonrileyxreader #simon riley x reader #simon ‘ghost’ riley #simon riley #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x innocent!reader #simon riley x you #cod mwf2 #simon riley x sunshine!reader #ghost x sunshine!reader #ghost x reader

[flowerflowerflo]

good morning! 𐙚๋࣭⭑⋅˚♡.

𓏲. i dont think people quite understand the importance of having a good morning routine. how we spend our morning sets the tone for the day and its a very important, peaceful, underrated & overlooked part of life i think we should appreciate more !!💕

˚₊‧꒰ა the importance of a good morning ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

𖹭 gives a sense of control

𖹭 sets the mood for the day

𖹭 develops healthy habits

𖹭 boosts productivity and energy levels

𖹭 helps to manage work & schedules

𖹭 improves memory and focus

...anddd much much more. i love love love mornings so maybe i'm a liittle biased but they're so overhated & have so many positive benefits we should def make use of!

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 1. gratitude

idk if its just me but waking up early and prioritising my mornings makes me a lot a lot more grateful for everything i have in my life. appreciate just how lucky we are to be able to even have a bed to wake up in in the morning. be so grateful for being able to see the sunlight through your window and being able to see another day. its a luxury, privilege and blessing to be alive.

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ 2. dress up!

getting ready is always my FAVOURITE part of the morning. "but im not going anywhere" "im just going to school" "theres no point" no. idc. why do you have to have a reason? why cant you just do it for yourself? when i look cute i feel cute & when i feel cute i feel good. dress up do ur hair do ur makeup (if u wear it) ! look good -> feel good. 💖

(and if u wear school uniform, im making a post with info on how to still look cute w/ uniform soon!<3🩷💕)

🐧𓂃 ࣪˖ 3. time management

set the perfect time for you. that revolves around the time it takes you to get ready, to travel to your destination, etc. and set that back by 30 minutes. so for example say said time would be 7am -> you'd then change that to 6:30. that way youve got the extra time to just focus on yourself and sort out your day, choose what youre wearing, eat a lovely breakfast, drink something yummy, exercise, pilates, tidy up, etc. ♡

🩰𓂃 ࣪˖ 4. romanticism & enjoyment

id say this goes hand in hand with time management but make it so that you aren't rushing and stressing in the morning. enjoying the little things makes life as a whole so much more enjoyable. mornings often set the tone for the day, so if you have a calm and gentle morning, youre more likely to have a good day! ♡

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 5. clear mind

the third sibling of time management & romanticism is definitely being able to go into the day with a clear head. dumping down all your emotions in a journal, in your notes, whatever you use & having your day clearly planned out is a massive motivator for me. i use notion since im more of a visual learner and enjoy having things laid out pretty and neat in front of me but it can be anything you like! (notes, paper, journal, etc.) this ensures you go into the day without a ton of thoughts and worries weighing on your head already before you even start.

so maybe im a little biased because i really love mornings but think about it. feeling the sun through your window in the early dawn, watching it rise and listening to the birds, having some downtime to clear your mind and just be free for a little while before chaos of life begins again. i love you and wish you the best in all you do today 🫶🩷💕

#girlblogging #morning motivation #wonyoungism #it girl #pink pilates princess #dream girl #dream life #self improvement #self care #thewizardliz #self love #im just a girl #this is a girblog #hyperfemininity #advice

[sushis-wild-imagination]

Meet the parents (Seungcheol x reader)

Seventeen masterlist <3

Meet the parents part 2

“No, its Shampoo and then washing your body so the shampoo sits in your hair”

You and Cheol, your boyfriend of a 5 months, have been in his apartment, quarrelling about the stupidest thing.

You were both in the kitchen trying to cook something for dinner. Your best and safest bet was pasta and that's exactly what he tried to make. Keyword: TRIED

An abrupt doorbell rang, and you jump.

"Coward" Seungcheol laughs at you as he walks to the door. You stick your tongue out at him.

You heard him open the door. “Mom?”

Mom?!

You run into your room, do a quick fit check, straighten out your clothes and fix your face. Try to make yourself look as presentable as possible in the fraction of a second you got.

You stepped out of cheols room to see his parents walk in the hallway.

Do I look okay? Is my hair tidy enough? Will they let me stay? Should I make an excuse and leave? Im panicking.

All these thoughts come to your head while his parents smile at you. You smile back and wave a little awkward wave.

“This is my girlfriend, y/n”

You were glad he introduced you like that, not that you doubted he wouldn’t, but it felt good to be introduced like that, especially to his parents.

“She’s pretty” the mom says putting her stuff on the couch. You immediately help her with her stuff, taking it off her hands. All you could focus on was to make a good impression.

This is not how you had pictured meeting the parents of the love of your life. Cheol was the best boyfriend youve had and youve even spoken about marriage with each other and it had barely been 5 months. When it’s your soulmate, you just know, and this was exactly that. You’ve seen many relationships go to shit because the girlfriend did not gel with the mother, and you were terrified of the possibility. She seems like a nice lady though.

——

“Do I look okay?” You whisper to your said love of your life, Choi seungcheol in the kitchen now.

“You look perfect, don’t worry” he whispered back.

“He’s cooking pasta? You will have to get your stomach checked later” his mother jokes walking into the kitchen.

“I’ve been getting better! (Y/n) is teaching me! I can do pasta” Seungcheol whines.

“Poor girl, don’t ruin her stomach” his mom teases. It makes you giggle.

“If water was burnable, he’d burn that too” she says as the conversation moves to the dinner table. His mom dissing him every chance she gets is hilarious to watch.

The pasta he made was finally done and brought to the dining table.

His father engaged in some small talk. You were grateful, you couldn’t stand the awkward silences. He asked you the basics, where do you work, how you like it.

“So, do you live together?” His mom shoots at you without warning.

“Pretty much” cheol answers for you to take the pressure off.

“This new way of living together first before getting married is a good trend, it’s easier to see if you’re compatible, that’s good” she comments on nothing specific. Your face is on fire.

Neither of you knew how to respond to that so the conversation died.

“What do you do?”

“Oh Im an AI researcher at University”

They definitely don’t know what that means so the conversation died for the second time, mostly because you were nervous.

His mom accidentally dropped her fork. The sound echoed in the apartment, it was that quiet.

“Mom wait, let me get your a new fork” cheol oddly insists and rushed to the kitchen.

“Y/n, where are the forks?” You hear his voice from the kitchen. It was his acting voice.

He knows where the forks are.

“I’ll help him” you say sheepishly smiling. You get up and go into the kitchen confused.

“How do you not know where the forks are in your own apartment?” His mom calls out from the dinning table.

He motions you to come over to him with just his hand like he has a secret to tell you.

Of course he knows where the forks are.

“What is it?” You whisper.

“They’re going on a cruise next month, ask them about it” he whispers back.

Your cutiepie, your conversation iron man had come in to rescue you from awkward silences. You peck him cheek and whisper a “thank you” becoming excited and running out front.

“I forgot where I had put them, she seems to know where my stuff is better than I do” cheol comes out behind you and hands his mom a new pair smiling foolishly.

He sure acts well.

After some more pauses, you gather the courage to bring up the cruise.

“Seungcheol had told me sometime ago that you are going on a cruise next month, are you excited?” You try to strike the conversation up again.

You see his mom’s expression change to pure joy. You could see the lady was excited.

“Yes! Its a 2 week cruise to the Mediterranean sea”

“Sounds exciting, have you been on other cruises?”

“Ever since retiring, thats all theyve been doing,” seungcheol adds.

“All for her, I wouldn’t be surprised if she buys a ship and leaves me behind here” his dad chimes in and chuckles.

“Oh sure, I’ll go to this next one with my son then, Im sure he wouldn’t mind” his mom says a little annoyed.

“Don’t drag me into your fights”

“My aunt is in administration for one of the cruises, I can ask her for a discount on your package if you’d like” you say.

is that a bribe? Almost. Who doesn’t like discounts.

Luckily his mom’s eyes lit up.

“Maybe you guys can come with us next time as a family trip”

Family trip.

You never got family. You grew up in a broken home and did not particularly understand the dynamics of a working healthy happy family, like the one you’re seeing infront of you now.

Just imagining to be a part of this family was enough to bring you joy. All you hoped and wished that you would fit in well.

The rest of the night, his parents told us all about their cruise adventures and misadventures.

——

“How did I do?” You ask nervously, biting your bottom lip as he turns around after closing the door.

The parents had left, it was a good time, a little nerve wracking but a good time overall.

“You’re perfect” he says snaking his arms around your waist pulling you closer. “Im sorry they came in unannounced, if I knew I would’ve asked them not to”

“Are you kidding? They’re your parents, they’re legally allowed to come unannounced, I was just very nervous”

“Why?”

“I really love you, I don’t want your parents to hate me” you couldn’t stand the thought.

“They could never hate you, my love”

You sigh in relief.

“Although… her impression of you might change if you don’t get her that discount now” he teases.

“Oh I will get her that discount alright, even if I have to scale the earth twice”

He giggles at your determination.

——

Do you want the cruise interaction??? I have a thought starter, I’m so excited

Edit: HERES PART 2

#choi seungcheol fluff #choi seungcheol #scoups #idol!reader #idol x reader #svt #svt scenarios #seventeen #carats #scoups x reader #seungcheol #seungcheol x reader #caratland

[omiiomiaaus]

im sorry... im not sure if you're accepting requests so i just wanted to give u my thoughts (๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

imagine toji cant sleep. why? cuz you're sleeping right next to him and he cant keep his eyes off of u. he might be tired but he's watching as your body moves against his as you breathe and the soft feeling of your bare skin as he mindlessly caresses u. hes listening to your soft snores and he smiles at the drool at the corner of ur mouth.

hes truly head over heels 4 u and all he can think about is how grateful he is for u and how much he wants to protect u from all the bad things hes seen in the world cuz ur his sweet girl forever!! <3

thank u for listening 😌

Toji watching you sleep

This is literally the cutest shit ever oh my god I wish he was mineeeeeeee!!!!!

NOT PROOFREADING BC IM LAZYYYY

Okay so like he’d be tossing and turning until he hears your soft breathing from the other side of the bed. you’re fast asleep probably dreaming about him tbh.

He can’t help but reach over and pull you closer, chest to chest, heart to heart. Your warmth immediately easing his troubled thoughts.

His arms were wrapped firm around your sleeping form. Tired irritated eyes admiring your relaxed expression. He brought his hand to your face, pushing a stray strand of hair from out your face, his fingers ghosting over your cheek.

His fingers were calloused from all the years of having to defend himself with his hands. The same hands that battered and bruised peoples faces were privileged enough to feel your soft untouched skin. Sometimes he felt like his touch wasn’t worthy enough for you. He didn’t want to taint his sweet baby with the hands of someone who’s killed before.

But your love radiated from your heart to his soul, making him selfish, you’re his and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

He’d rather hold you with his corrupted hands than have someone else, someone who could give you a normal life, hold you close like this.

Toji loves to watch you sleep. your beauty never halts for a second, even when you’re blissfully in another world while dreaming. It amazes him more, the fact that you’re unaware of the beauty you possess in such intimate moments like these.

He went from struggling to sleep because of insomnia to willingly depriving his body of rest just to watch you.

To watch the way your chest raises and falls with every deep breathe you take. The way your face twitches, probably a reaction from your dream.

He could watch you all night. He loved you so much he’d whisper it in your ear, gently kissing the top of your head.

The silence brought thoughts into his mind, thoughts of the moments you two shared. Your first kiss, your first date, your first fight. Moments he wouldn’t have wanted to share with anyone else but you. His mind and heart raced a mile per minute. He laid there under your body, hand coming up to rub his face. He looked back down at you, pure love filling his eyes.

His thoughts shifted from questions to statements.

“Does she really want to be with me forever?” “Am I really good enough for her?”

“I’m thinking too much, she’s the one, I’m sure if it, I want her in my life forever.”

Toji was not a man of many words… he kept his thoughts to himself but he’d make it known just how much he loves you. He’d protect you and cherish you for the rest of his life.

“I love you” he whispered into your hair, bringing his arms tighter around your body, stroking your hair. His heart skipped 10 thousand beats when you nuzzled into him like a little cat curling it’s body in its sleep.

It would be early morning by the time he falls alseep, 4am. The birds outside starting to chirp little wake up tunes and his mind would clear, your soft body comforting him. You’re all he needs in life, and he wants to give you the world in return for you just being you.

Man y/n’s so lucky… 😓 my inbox is open for feedback and thoughts but if you send some requests that’s fine too, I’ll get to them whenever I have time sooo if anyone wants to send me some that would be great cause I want to have more posts :) -Omi

#jjk anime #jjk toji #fushiguro toji x reader #jjk smut #toji x reader #toji x y/n #toji fic #toji fluff #jujutsu kaisen toji #dilf toji #toji fushiguro #toji imagine #fushiguro toji #toji thirst #toji headcanons #toji x you #fushiguro toji smut #toji fushiguro x you #toji fushiguro x reader #jjk imagines #jjk fanfic #jjk x y/n #jjk #jjk x you #jjk fluff #jjk x reader smut

[anilovie]

babe babe babe, my entire tiktok fyp is full of shitty men saying their shitty vows to their gorgeous wives at their wedding, they're fr saying shit like "all you need to do to keep me happy is keep my belly full and balls empty", or "i vow to smack that whenever i can....booyah" (im not even lying, this is full on verbatim) and that's all theyre saying!!! in front of guests and family as well!!!

literal sideye bc ik my man Ani could never, best believe he's crying the moment he sees you coming down the aisle, doesn't even care abt what you're wearing, you could be in a potato sack, and your hair identical to einstein's, but all he can think about is how you wanna be his forever <3 the way he'd tear up at your vows....ugh i need him to be my husband

(the way his vows would sound like a hozier song.....)

Anakin wedding thoughts …

ugh, the way he would tear up.

I think Anakin is definitely more mature and serious with his emotions than a lot of men, especially when it comes to love. He's super intense about it, cause he knows how to love. it's all-consuming for him. and, he's just a good person under everything... so grateful for the good things he has in life cause he's not used to being able to keep them. so if he has you, and you promise forever with him, he's not gonna play around.

i can just picture him standing on a pretty balcony somewhere, dressed in black, wavy hair tamed down a little neater, standing up so straight with his hands clasped in front of him. he looks like a prince, and his eyes are on you, and you can just see his love for you swirl behind his gaze like a tempest.

you don't see until you're standing right in front of him that his eyes are all glossed over, and -- geez -- now you're getting all teary, too. i think you'd laugh quietly, a little choked up as you try not to let any tears fall, and he'd huff a soft laugh too, ducking his head and blinking rapidly to try and diffuse things.

you know he's got the sweetest, most soul-crushing things to say to you, too. doesn't even need to pull a crumpled peice of paper from his pocket, no, he just says what he feels in the moment and draws from the thoughts he's had about you this whole time. it sounds more like he's worshipping you rather than marrying you, but to him it's the same thing.

i also think that when he kisses you, he'll linger for as long as he possibly can. its the best moment of his life, after all. and only then will you taste something wet and salty on your lips, and you're not sure if it's his tears or yours. probably both.

thanks for the message!! didn't know i had all these thoughts in my head but you inspired me. geez. 🥹

ps -- hozier is one of my favorites, and you're completely right about that. anakin is actually his ghost writer fyi.

#geez i dont even rlly want a wedding but this... #this could change my mind #anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker x reader fluff #anakin skywalker x reader fic #anakin fluff #anakin #anakin x reader #anakin x reader fluff #anakin skywalker fic #anakin x reader fic #fluffy anakin

[envy-of-the-apple]

Heart Infection (Part One)

(I usually only post dark content here but im lowkey proud of this one. The rest of the fic is here

In a world where society has gotten used to zombie outbreaks, your domestic life is turned into chaos and a race for survival when an outbreak occurs in your city. In the middle of it all, you stumble upon a giant, speaking in a foreign language. He won’t show you his face. He’s ruthless. He’s a force to be reckoned with. But, despite the fact you can’t understand him, you know without a doubt this man would die to protect you.

Pairing: König x reader

They always say it happens fast.

They never clarified how fast.

It was just one report. One incident of someone behaving strangely. Just a couple of minor incidents. You hadn't thought much of it. You existed as you had always: going to work, lazing around your home, talking with your friends. One week you carried life as normal, the next you were getting bombarded by alerts to stay inside.

Lock your doors. Stay silent. Stay undetectable. It was the last message you got before your internet went out, and you descended into a microscopic dark age.

You’ve never really thought about outbreaks all that much. It’s a tragedy, but it’s a rarity. The probability of it happening to you or anyone else you knew was 0.0005%. Maybe even less. It was never supposed to happen to you.

The screaming ended days ago. You still didn’t move from your spot, huddled in a small corner of your apartment, too scared to do anything else.

You could hear them every so often. The groaning. The horrific footsteps of something not human. At least, something not human anymore. They’re so loud. You didn’t think anything could be this loud. Their screams ricochet off the walls, into your apartment. Sometimes it’s upstairs. Sometimes it’s right by your door.

A morbid part of you wondered if you’d be able to recognize them. Your neighbors, something that used to be your neighbors. You couldn’t, something which you were grateful for. All the moans, the garbles, the shrieks, they were all incoherent, unrecognizable. Inhuman.

Protocol had been drilled into your head ever since you were a kid. In schools, you had outbreak drills, where you and your classmates sat in a room for five minutes until the lights came back on and class resumed as normal. If an outbreak happened when you were at home stay put. Stay silent. Stay unnoticed.

Only now are you realizing the parallelisms between now and the drills practiced by schoolchildren during the Cold War. Teachers would tell their students to hide under tables. They'd board up the windows. It was all useless. Just a half-hearted attempt to quell the nerves of the people. To give them a false sense of security.

You check your phone, tapping on the screening, telling yourself you’d put it on silent already. You can’t charge it. The power in your apartment went out two weeks ago. You’re pretty sure the water went with it too. You can’t connect to the internet. The phone lines are down. At this point, your phone is only good for its flashlight.

(You don’t even think about turning it on even in the darkness of your apartment. They’re attracted to light.)

It’s useless, but you’re still pulling up your mom’s contact. You send her a message. The 438th one.

‘Still alive. I love you.’

Message unable to deliver responds your phone. You turn it off, closing your eyes.

Your mother, God what was she thinking right now? She wasn’t in the city. She lives miles away in your hometown. You knew she was already aware, probably sick with worry. The last outbreak happened two years ago in a small town all the way on the other side of the country. You were home from college, cuddled up with her on the couch as you two watched the news in horror. Her co-worker’s daughter had been in the infected city. She hadn’t made it. Your mom attended the funeral.

She later admitted to you that she was glad it wasn’t you she was watching on the TV.

You wonder if she remembers these words right now. If they haunt her.

Outside, the siren flicks off. It had been blaring static music for the past hour. They’re attracted to noise. The woman’s voice is too cheery for the current situation. Her voice was too clinical, and measured. It was obvious that it was pre-recorded. She always repeated the same thing: We apologize for the delay of Aide. Please remain in your homes. We thank you for your patience.

You’d be annoyed if you weren’t so terrified.

It had only been three weeks since your world went to shit, but you’d already lost hope of help ever arriving. Maybe the tanks, the guns, the arsenal were already on their way but they hadn’t gotten to you yet, too preoccupied by the swarms of monsters. You’d already boarded up your windows, too afraid to see something you didn’t want to see, but through the tiny cracks, the barren streets were lifeless. No one had come. Not yet, at least.

The barren streets were lifeless. Lifeless, not empty.

During the first two days, there were many of them. Now, you could sometimes see a couple, if any at all.

Their skin had lost the brightness of a human’s. Each one was a dull shade of grayish green. Some decayed faster than others, revealing rotting flesh right underneath their sagging skin. You’d seen a couple missing arms, and legs, mindlessly limping, crawling away to some unknown destination. When they weren’t hunting, they were slow. Truly dead.

The worst were the children. Small,  bodies stumbling here and there. Tiny bones jutting out from rotting skin. Sickly eyes that had been gone for days. You couldn’t bear to look outside after that.

You'd seen them hunt before. It was during the first couple of hours when everything went to shit. The man was running, dragging his clearly broken leg as fast as he could. He wasn't fast enough. They had caught up to him in minutes. You had to turn away when his screaming turned to painful shrieks. You could still hear them every so often, even after you boarded up your windows. You don't think you'll ever be able to forget his begs for help. Ever the coward, you prayed he didn't see you. You prayed it wasn't you he was begging to.

The guilt kept you up at night sometimes. Every so often, you'd hear another scream, another tearing of flesh. You just lay there, covering your ears with your hands, hoping you'd wake up from this nightmare.

Had your friends ended up like that? You hadn't been able to get into contact with any of them. Hopefully, they had evacuated. You couldn't even think of them huddled up like you, stuck to listening to the terror outside. Or perhaps a fate even worse turned into a rotting corpse still living.

Your pantry was full of canned food. Beans, corn, tomatoes. You knew you wouldn’t have to worry about food running out, that is if you could ever have an appetite big enough for a full meal. You had water bottles too, all piled into the back of your closets.

The real issue wasn’t food. The real issue wasn’t water. It was the wait. The terrifying suspense every time you moved a bit too fast, terrified that something above or below you would hear. You were always warned about how strong these things were. Devoid of the human limitations, they will do everything they can to claw past wood, concrete, steel. It doesn’t matter how mangled they get. They can’t feel pain.

Your pantry was overflowing with food. Now, all you had to do was play the waiting game.

You've noticed they're more active in the night rather than the day. It made sense, to a degree. The cooler air slowed down the rate of decay. The sun was harsh, especially during the summer months. Why would a rotting piece of meat ever want to stay underneath the burning sun?

But it made the nights tenser. You could hardly sleep when the sun went down and the light in your apartment faded to pitch black. They were louder. Hungrier. It was as though they took their anger on the sun out on the darkness, letting their fury consume everything in their path.

You flinch when another bang ricochets across your apartment. Tonight seemed to be the worst. The shuffling. The growling. It seemed to all get desperate. Impatient.

It was starting to seem more and more as though they were looking for something.

You don't even want to entertain that thought, but you could hear scratching through the walls. The sound of human fingers raking their claws against cement. Tonight, you had barricaded yourself in your closet, nestled between your clothes. You could hear the muffled echoes of things crawling upstairs, knocking things over.

It almost distracts you from the thudding at the front door. Like a body is being rammed against your door over and over and over and over and over and over and-

Your door has to give eventually. You want to curse yourself for it because you once remembered your mom berating you for not installing better security and tougher doors. You'd laughed her concerns off. You thought it was paranoia.

The door caves in, something inhuman is crawling into your apartment. All that you can think about is your mom's knowing I told you so.

Haggard footsteps made their way into your abandoned living room. It was loud, messily bumping into tables and walls. There didn't seem to be a set direction. It didn't know where exactly you were. It didn't matter.

You were going to die.

It was a startling thought, but not something you could deny. You were only able to survive for five days, that alone was a miracle. That’s all this was. Luck. A roll of the dice. You weren’t a survivor. You were weak, with zero combat experience. This was all just a one-in-a-million chance. You still have no clue how you managed to survive this long. Maybe the monsters thought you were already dead? Maybe they thought you were too weak to even bother? You didn't know why you were still thinking about this. It wasn't like it mattered. You were living on borrowed time. Your front door was no match for it. What about your room? What will the numerous barricades even do against these things?

You were out of time.

You can feel the sting of tears in your eyes. You suck in your breath, huddling into a tighter ball.

This thing was going to find you. This thing was going to kill you. And there was nothing you could do about it.

You check your phone. Still, no signal. You sent her your last message, anyway.

'I love you'

A part of you hopes your messages never get through to her. So she wouldn't have to know her child died with fear. With pain. You pray to any god still listening to you that she will assume you died within the first day, unaware, oblivious. You prayed she would know that you died a merciful death.

But the gods hate you. They laugh at you, leering as the thing drags its body closer and closer to your room, towards your closet with a trembling hulk of flesh locked inside, ripe for the taking.

And then it stops. You wait, bracing yourself. When there's still no movement, you realize that it's listening for something.

Soon, you hear it too.

Gunshots.

You clasp a hand over your mouth, stifling your gasp. Had help arrived? Had you just narrowly avoided being eaten?

The thing just outside your room door growls. You can hear it hustle out of your apartment on unsteady legs, as it fights to go where the gunshots are coming from. It doesn't have to go far.

It doesn't sound like a struggle. It's more like a one-sided fight. Decaying flesh doesn't do well against steel guns and bullets. There are a couple of rapid shots, and then something heavy collapses outside of the apartment.

And then, it's all over.

You almost can't believe it, still huddled in your corner of the closet. It's all over. You can't hear any more dull groans and screeches. Whoever was out there, had gotten rid of them all.

You're crying again, for an entirely different reason now. Relief. Utter joy. Hope.

But now, you have an entirely new problem. How do you get out to meet your saviors, without getting shot?

Their boots were heavy, roughly stomping around without a care in the world. From what you could hear, there was only one of them. The rest must be outside, scanning other apartments, looking for more survivors. Military. Or maybe a crudely put-together army of minute men. You didn't care which.

There was only one person in your apartment, and they seemed to be a sort of shoot-first-ask-questions-later type of person. You had to get their attention in a way that wouldn't spook them. You had no trust in your voice, it was going to be scratchy from the unuse, maybe even rivaling the monsters' groans.

You take too long to come up with a plan because the intruder in your apartment seems to still, seemingly realizing they aren't alone.

His voice is deep, almost rattling the apartment, as he calls out. You can't understand him. It takes you a moment to realize he's speaking a different language than you.

Shit. This was going to be harder than you initially anticipated.

His footsteps seem heavier as if he is intentionally trying to intimidate you. It's working, because your heartbeat quickens when your room door is blown open. You can hear him rifle through your bed. He calls out something again. Closer. It sounds European. Dutch, or perhaps it was German? Russian? You still can't make out what he's saying.

The man says something. Despite your lack of understanding, it's crystal clear that he's making a threat. He sounds right in front of your closet. The soft click of a gun makes your shyness whittle away far enough that you can actually say something.

"Don't shoot. " You try to scream, but it comes out with a choked cry. "I'm human. I'm human."

That seems to stop him, and he pauses long enough for you to prove your innocence. Slowly, as if he's the one you're trying not to scare, you creak the door open, gently giving away your hiding spot.

The flashlight makes you wince, and you try to shy away from the light. He seems to be assessing as to whether you're a threat or not. As uncomfortable as it was, you let him, lowering your eyes so you're not blinded.

He says something, obviously asking a question. When you don't respond quickly, his voice grows harder, more impatient.

You bite your lip, nerves rising.

"I don't-I don't understand," You finally manage to say, "I'm sorry."

There's a moment, and then he's clicking off his flashlight. He gives a ragged sigh like this is above his pay grade.

"I'm sorry," You say again into the darkness.

You can tell that he's still watching you. What else is there to inspect? The rest of your rundown apartment? He tries speaking again. It's clear that he's trying to sound softer. He's lost the harsh growl in his voice. It makes him sound younger, at least, to your ears.

The change of tone doesn't change the fact that you still don't know his language. You shake your head, hoping you can get your point across once more. He reaches for you, and you can't help it.

You flinch, pressing yourself against the wall, watching his shadow warily.

It's funny how the one thing you wished for was to be saved, and now that you are, you still cower. It's not intentional. It's uncontrollable. You're still wary of the stranger. He's unreadable.

He seems to get the point, raising his hands up, and leaving the gun at his side. You doubt being weaponless makes him any less dangerous.

You can't make out most of him, but in the dim light you got, you were able to tell he was big. Even now, as he crouched before you, in a clear attempt to make himself less hostile. You can't seem to find his face. There's some kind of darkened mask on him, obscuring his features. For some reason, you suddenly realize you can't really hear his breathing.

He tilts his head as if to say See? I'm harmless! You don't think you agree with that statement. Even then.

He's safe. You know he's safe.

You don't exactly relax, but you ease back into your space. He seems to get the point, standing back up to his full height, easily towering over you.

He gestures to his hands. It takes you a while to realize he's asking if you're injured.

"No." You shake your head. "No injuries."

He seems satisfied with that, backing away to look at your room. Apart from the numerous barricades you put across the windows, your bedroom is pretty sparse. You wonder if he's thinking how you managed to survive this long. You wonder if he's impressed by it. You wonder if he pities you for it.

He moves around more, scuttling throughout your apartment. It's becoming clear that he's checking for other survivors. As expected, he returns with no one else. It's just you and him. Alone.

There's a silence now. You hadn't realized it until just now, everything around you seems gone. Dead. You peek out the window. You can't see much, just more barren streets. There's nothing.

Did he and his team get rid of all of the monsters in the area? How?

There's a thud and when you turn back you notice something has been thrown at your feet. It's an old backpack you owned. You look up at him. His meaning is clear.

Start packing.

Right. You can't stay here. Not anymore. Despite your home being your sanctuary, with your door broken into, you're vulnerable here. Easy prey. You know all this, and yet you find yourself hesitating for a bit.

You had to go out there? Where danger lurks in every corner? It sounds like a daunting task. Your heart is telling you to stay put, where it's always felt safe. Home.

Your brain knows the truth. If you stay here, you are dead. For right now, this man was the only hope you had.

You do as he says, running around your apartment, eager to stuff as many items as you can. It's mostly food, water, and any nonperishables. You don't have any weapons, the only thing that even counts as one is your small can of mace. You don't know how well it will fare against the undead, but you take it with you, hoping something is better than nothing.

He doesn't comment on anything you took, merely turning back to face the front of your apartment the moment you look ready. You follow him obediently, only giving one last look at your home. It's a bleak end. You wonder if you'll ever be able to return.

He gives a grunt. When you look forward, you see that he's quite a ways ahead of you. He jerks his head in the universal gesture of 'you coming?'.

Your shoes pitter-patter to catch up to his boots, abandoning the remnants of your apartment. His strides are long, almost twice the length of yours. You almost have to run to keep up with him, jostling your bag. Dawn was coming. The windows gave way to the sun slowly rising from the horizon. It causes you to see more fragments of him.

Looking back, it was probably a good thing you couldn't see him all that well before. Otherwise, your first encounter might have ended with you assuming that he was planning on eating you. He easily towered over you, having to duck under the ceiling at times. His hooded mask rivaled the death that had been crawling around your home, creating a terrifying parallel. His vest was covered in assorted knives, guns, and other weapons you could barely name. The gun he'd used on the monster was slung on his back. You can't see his eyes, you don't know why that bothers you.

It's intimidating. And you're suddenly glad you aren't on his ire.

You're confused. You're scared. Those are never a good combination. You decide to momentarily forget your burning questions. You'd come back to them when you were safe.

At least, you hoped that's where this man was taking you. To safety.

He hadn't even bothered saying another word to you, just casually trekking on, letting you follow a couple of steps behind. Every so often, you'd catch a glimpse of his mask as he glanced behind him, as though he were trying to assure himself that you were still there. Where was he going? Where were you following him? It's not like you could just ask him.

You didn't even know his name.

You were half-afraid the small tap on his shoulder wouldn't register to him. He turns, to your relief, peering down at you.

"Who are you?" You softly ask. It's the first sentence you've managed to say to him that wasn't a stuttered apology.

He tilts his head, clearly not understanding. In response, you point at his chest. He takes a moment, it's why you get worried he still doesn't get it.

"König." His voice is rough against the word.

"König?" You repeat, the word alien in your mouth. He gives a barely visible nod.

You give a tentative smile. When he keeps staring, you give out your own name. He takes a second, mulling it over.

And then König is walking again. You follow one step in front of the other.  

#reader inserts #könig mw2 #könig call of duty #könig x reader #zombie apocalypse #dark content #cw: gore #cw: violence #x reader

[bugsinshoes]

ok so i just watched @fordtato and @hkthatgffan 's respective videos about their interview with THE alex hirsch and i wanna just say OH MY GOD like SERIOUSLY

im gonna put my thoughts under the cut so theres no spoilers if you havent seen it already (BUT GO WATCH THEM NOW PLEASE !!!) + its gonna be LONG so BEAR WITH ME

ok, so i have MANY thoughts so sorry if none of this is coherent 😭 (this is not in chronological order of when the questions were asked, just me spewing out my totally normal thoughts about this interview so apologies for that)

starting off:

THE BABY IS SHERMIE?!?!?!? IM SO SO GLAD WE FINALLY HAVE CONFIRMATION WE CAN FINALLY LEAVE THIS TO REST !! I WAS RIGHT THOUGH SO HA !!! ACTUALLY SCREAMING !! TIMELINE BE DAMNED (also another thanks to hana, your timeline video is genuinely awesome. i never shut up about it. ever. any time i talk to my friends abt gf and i need to refer to the timeline i go: "IN HANA'S VIDEO-") anyways, i do understand it was a last minute decision on the writer's part of "oh. dipper and mabel need a grandfather, its not ford, and its sure as FUCK not gonna be stan sooo... third brother?" and i do understand alex being like, "oh, this is about ford and stan only having eachother" so i think making shermie younger was a GOOD THING? like, stan and ford had 18 years of just them so shermie wasnt in the picture, so stan and ford technically grew up on their own so ig it works? also, when stan got kicked out, he never got to see shermie grow up, probably only saw him at events when he had to pretend to be ford (post-1983) and as for ford himself, he was too busy in college and gravity falls to really visit the family so... it works! (despite everything)

that aside, lets talk about THE CRUMBS??? like i have some quotes here because i have a LOT to say:

"theyre both so damaged and they desperately need each other" - alex hirsch (talking about stan and ford)

LIKE SUIUHUSHUSH i HATE these brothers SO MUCH (LIES) i cant actually properly express my thoughts because WOW like its clear that they both have their own trauma and they NEED to address it but theyre both too STUBBORN to do so. theyve both been alone for 40ish years so of course they need each other. they grew up by the hip, so theres no surprise that they both need each other (whether they like it or not)

"[ford's] grateful for the forgiveness he thinks he doesnt deserve" -alex hirsch

ford thinks so lowly of himself at times it HURTS. like the lines in the journal about "only then would the freak return a hero" or about his guilt with bill and everything its just so important to his character im so glad we got so much ford content in this interview. like i am EATING ALL THIS UP RN

"[ford] has to always have a mission in front of him, because if he doesnt have a mission in front of him, hes thinking how have i treated people in my life?" - alex hirsch

ford distracting himself with things instead of facing his problems. probably something he had to do a lot, especially with his time in the multiverse. but it really hurts because i can imagine in the 60s, they never had any great coping mechanisms? so i can assume ford was just conditioned to distract himself from stuff so he never learned how to deal with things. and i KNOW in the journal hes like "i meditate!" and im sure that does help somewhat, but it doesnt address the issue itself soooo... sorry ford, but you cant just breathe your way out of everything

ALSO alex calling ford and fiddlefords falling out a "BREAKUP" (air quotes used) BUT A BREAKUP??? this is just adding fuel to my fiddauthor-infested brain rn. i CANT

and alex saying mcgucket is thinking like, "oh i gotta be a better partner" is HEART SHATTERING like the whole talk about fiddleford being "the building guy" who is kind of just there to make machines and please ford. its honestly so heartbreaking because fiddleford loves ford so much he'd leave his wife and child to go to absolute nowhere, oregon and the fact ford is too arrogant to see fiddlefords admiration and overall love for him its just IUIUAHHAS

and i do wanna say, i KNOW bill played a big part in this, by stroking fords ego and buttering him up with his kind words because he knew exactly what ford wanted to hear and that really affected how ford and fidds' relationship was like but THATS A TOPIC FOR ANOTHER TIME. all i know is that ford isnt entirely to blame, but he still is a massive arrogant asshole and he wasnt the best person to fidds at times (love him tho <3)

but im actually so happy because this interview sheds SO much light onto FORD bcs we BARELY got to know him, and hearing it from MR HIRSCH HIMSELF is just so good because we KNOW its a reliable source because its coming from ALEX YK??? like he wrote ford so he probably knows "oh yeah, that man is guilt-ridden as FUCK" and im so glad we get some crumbs of this guy i cant get enough of him !!! (impatiently waiting for the book of bill)

ANNNDD THE TALK ABOUT MAYBE GETTING A SEA GRUNKS SPINOFF/MINISERIES??? I WOULD EXPLODE GENUINELY ANYTHING WITH MY FAVOURITE OLD MEN PLEASE !! i would genuinely love to see more of their dynamic and how everything is after weirdmaggeddon and like dealing with trauma and UGHHH i would kill for stan/ford content PLEASE

also...

hippie ford.

hippie. ford.

i am never getting over this (im internally SCREECHING)

ANYWAYS THAT WAS MY RANT ABT MY FAV THINGS FROM THE INTERVIEW THAT WAS A LOT GODDAMN

im genuinely so happy with all the questions that got answered, as well as getting some deeper insight into characters and stuff. IM NEVER GETTING OVER THE AMOUNT OF FIDDAUTHOR CRUMBS YOU GUYS

im gonna end this by saying another MASSIVE thank you to hana and hk !! you both put so much effort into your respective videos and it was super super cool !! this was totally worth the wait !!! :D

#yapping #gravity falls #god that was an amazing 2 hours of my life #time to rewatch them again and again until the book of bill releases #btw hana if youre seeing this i loved your puppets #they were very silly #also cant wait for that rob interview. super hyped

[undercoverpena]

come away with me and we'll kiss

javier peña x f!reader | one shot from late night texts world

you don't need to have read the series, but it helps - this one shot is set during the epilogue 🩷 chapter warnings: a photo booth, two idiots, javi realising how much he loves you, while also unable to keep his hands to himself. illusions and briefest of mentions of smut, but no actual ✨ wordcount: 1.9k.

an: BONUS CHAPTER. this wasn't planned at all but i saw @babyispunk's insanely amazing photo booth pic for Javi, and i had to write this little ode to it (hope you do not mind, lovely) biggest thanks to @guyfieriii who not only held my hand with this but also chose the title. ily.

text key: bold is you/reader | italics is javi

don’t forget tomorrow im taking you out for the day

You sure you told me this? 

good job I reminded you then

Javi, I am pretty sure I’d have remembered this. Are you sure you told me?

positive 

Javi hadn’t told you. 

The idea only came to him that week. You all curled up against him, asleep—your fingers on his chest—his hand placed right over yours. 

The minutes had been ticking down until his alarm would do its usual thing of disturbing the morning. Interrupting the time he got to just be, when he could lie here with your weight and warmth against him. 

That’s when his eyes landed on the photo frame with the photo strip, sitting on top, in the centre of the drawers the two of you now share. The strip of four photos captured from that week. 

For the past week, he’d thought of nothing but your two’s fast-approaching first anniversary. That week which had changed his life, the one where he’d had a taste of the life he lives now. 

From speaking to some of the people in town, it hadn’t taken much effort to learn where the closest one was. It all aligned, everything falling perfectly into place—all working out. 

On the morning of it all, the day even began the same as it had done when the two of you were in that hotel room. The tips of his fingers strumming up and down your back, your chest flush with his—all tangled in his arms, sheets barely keeping in place as your lips kissed the air with his name, the sound of yours leaving his mouth coated in grunts and hisses. 

It deviated after. The two of you shared a shower, with you sneaking out of the bathroom undetected to get dressed, leaving him to enact the next part of his plan: wearing the pink shirt. 

Stealing it back from your things had taken planning—discreet misdirections, his former skills in the DEA coming into use. He was just grateful it still fastened because even if he did more physical work now than he used to, Javi still wasn’t DEA fit. He was happy, for one—secondly, home-cooked meals were more a norm now than when he was over in Colombia. 

You said nothing if you thought anything when he met you on the porch. Not even when the two of you hit the road, hands smoothing down your dress as you turn the radio, focused, eyes glued, and head slightly tilted.

Fuck, you were gorgeous.

You always were. Always have been. Even way before, when all he had of you was words on his phone screen, you have been amazing to him. 

“So, whatcha’ thinking about?” you say, leaning back as the radio hums—the plucking of a guitar filling the journey as you look at him. 

Taking his hand from the wheel, he placed it on your knee—bare skin meeting his palm. “That I’m looking forward to taking you out of this dress when we get back.”

“No, you weren’t, you tease.”

He snorts, squeezing your knee. “Trust me, cariño. Most, if not all of the time, I am thinking about how I can get you out of your clothing.”

Your laugh fills the vehicle, feeling your eyes on him as the two of you pass the sign welcoming you into the city. 

“Think you need a hobby if you’ve got time for all that thinking, baby.”

“I’m busy enough.”  

Humming, he smiles as you rest your head on him. The scent of your perfume hitting his nose, recognising it instantly—the one he bought you, wrist tilted to his nose in the shop as you sprayed bottle after bottle until you landed on this one. 

The one, as you said, made his eyes widen. It wasn’t the only body reaction the scent now made happen. Least of all, when your hand was on his thigh, fingers sliding up and down his dark-wash jeans. 

“Te ves muy guapo, Javi—even in my shirt.” 

Snorting, he looked at you, finding your eyes already on him, waiting, a smirk slid up into your cheek that made it near impossible not to pull you close and kiss you. But he’d have time.

Plenty of it. 

Thankful he recognised the sign for the place he needed, when you were still none the wiser. Your brain not even catching on when he pulled into the arcade parking lot, your face still looking up at him, peering—studying every inch of him, as though you never get the chance to. Not that he could complain, he does the same whenever he gets the chance, too. 

By the time he’d come to let you out your side of the truck, your door was already open—smoothing down your summer dress. Taking your hand in his. “So, let me explain.” 

“You found us a photo booth.” 

Looping his fingers through, tightening his hold, he pressed a kiss to your cheek—both for being too fucking smart and also because fuck, you got him. “I found us a photo booth, cariño. C’mon.” 

Hidden in the back, there it was. Tucked away, it’s interestingly the one place in the arcade relatively quiet of people. The red curtain open, your hand practically dragging him—even if it was he who planned it—before stopping at the doorway, turning to him. Before your mouth even opens, he knows what you’re going to say, his hand already digging in his pocket, pulling out the money he knew would be needed. 

“We should think of poses,” you say, sliding in next to him, as you draw the curtain. 

His eyes glanced, taking in how it was a floor-to-ceiling one—more discreet, private. Even if the sounds of bells, cheers and loud music still made their way through it to your two’s space. 

“Unless you just want to recreate the last one?”

Handing you the money, he wraps his arm around you, fingers on your waist. Needing you to be close as he suggests you kiss his cheek, something sweet, innocent. Your smile twitches before you nod, doing your thing with the money and hitting the button to get it going. 

It’s only when he feels you twist towards him, his fingers sliding the strap of your dress up, that he realises how amazing the last year has been, and yet, while he feels the same as when he first met you, he also feels so much more—more than he ever thought possible after all the things he’d done and seen. 

Because, even now, you still make his heart skip a beat as you move closer like that first week. Make his cheeks warm as your lips ghost over his cheek. 

He knows the seconds are ticking down, both all set in place as the booth counts down, but he can feel the edges of his mouth bucking under the happiness you provide, it almost making him want to grin.

And he does—just after the flash. 

Something rising in him, desperate to ignite. It explodes inside him like fireworks; the feeling is born from the ash of who he used to be, spreading itself through him to add more weight to the person he now feels he can be because of you. 

His gratitude for it being pressed to your lips as the plan for chosen poses goes out the window, twisting his own body, a sudden need flooding through him just to have you close, pressed against him. His fingers slid around the base of your neck, kissing you desperately, hungrily. 

Javi tastes the mint from brushing your teeth, the warmth of your breath—and even if he gets to kiss you all the time now, it still blows him away. Because it’s you—you and him. 

Your lips part, inviting him in closer as the softest whimper escapes as his thumb and index squeeze your neck, wrist flush with your collarbone, as he crashes his mouth to yours—slanting, swallowing whatever you’ll give him. Lost in it, how you feel against him, how your thighs have spread just for him. The flash illuminates the space, his smile growing, pressing another to you, and another. 

It becomes a dance, a sudden know of what to do as he moves again. 

Giving his back to the camera, Javi buries his face into your neck as he hears you whimper his name—blissed out at the feeling of your hand in his hair, pulling, tugging as his fingers snake under your dress. A laugh falling, more in disbelief than anything, a whispered ‘we shouldn’t’ that he’s quick to swallow. 

Because he should—the two of you should. 

He couldn’t think of something more beautiful, more perfect to be captured and framed in your two’s room than you coming undone for him. That thought cruises through him, blood pounding in his ears, as he brushes over soft, warm skin before his thumb presses over the lace between your legs, feeling the sudden growing wet patch spreading across your underwear. Your laugh stolen, thieved, all twisted into a moan that made his smile grow as he rolled the tip of his tongue over that spot on your neck. The one which he knows has your eyes all lust-blown, just as the flash explodes white around the two of you as you moan his name.

His. 

A sound he collects whenever he can. Bottles it. Stores it on a shelf inside of him that used to be empty. That could never be filled by any vice he had picked up, but now it is all easily full of you. The happiness you bring, the comfort, 

And he knows he has seconds—if that. 

Sliding up, shifting the fabric from between your legs as he feels it. He’ll never tire of it, the proof that you want him—over and over. Your fingers find his chin at the last second, lifting him to stare as his fingers coat themselves in how much you need him. 

You saying it, beating him to it. Robbing him of it—not that he cares.

“Happy one-year anniversary, baby.”

In a way, he wishes his back wasn’t to the camera as his hand slides back to resting on your thigh. Because now he suddenly wants the chance to see how he looks as he hears the words. Imagining it from the effect it has on him; how each letter coats him, heals him. 

Instead, he whispers them back. Enjoys a front-row seat to watching the impact they have on you, now just wishing the camera is good enough to capture the shimmer in your eyes, the look of adoration, the thinnest crease between your brows he knows he mirrors. 

Because it’s you, it’s him. 

The two of you frozen like that, a sea of other words silently being shared—your hand reaching up, cupping his cheek, thumb stroking his skin, just like you always do as the machine begins to churn, preparing and readying the photos for the two of you.

“Thank you for bringing us here,” you add, only when the machine quietens.

Nodding, he swallows. “You’re welcome. I… I didn’t know you were an exhibitionist, cariño.”

Your eyes narrow, lips pursing before you smirk. “If you were a smart man, you’d put more money into the machine and finish what you started.” 

Javi does.

Because of course he fucking does. 

Haphazardly stuffing what he can into it before he’s pulled by his collar, his lips crashing against yours. 

AN: Halloween one shot of this pairing will still be up on the 31st. I've just missed them so goddamn much.

#javier peña x reader #javi peña x reader #javi peña x you #javier peña x you #narcos x reader #javier pena x reader #javier pena x you #javi pena x reader #narcos javier x reader #narcos javier #pedro pascal x reader #narcos fanfiction #pedrostories #mm: late night texts #javier peña fanfiction #pedro pascal characters fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fanfic

[rk-ceres]

Pretty Girl- George Weasley

Pairing: George Weasley x Reader (Season of love event) Fred Weasley x Reader(platonic)

Timeline: 6 months after the battle of Hogwarts

Summary: Reader gets injured in the war saving Fred's life, after the war she wakes up six months later and falls in love with George who has been taking care of her loooooooooooonggggggg ass fic. had an idea and ran with it mutual pining (strangers to)/friends to lovers I just thought this idea was cute

Warnings: no use. of y/n or y/h/n its just ____, written in first person, crass language, some dirty jokes here and there, nothing physical, slow burn, !FRED LIVES!, reader is a flirt, mentions of death in the war, reader looses a leg in the war, George takes on care taker role for Fred after he gets injured after he was saved by reader, and any others i missed

A/N: decided to take a stab at the season of love event that one of my favorite writers are hosting right now and half way through i really wished i made this a series but i guess this works better as a long one shot with room for more parts. Theres just so much you can do with this imho but it is what it is sorry for the long ass read it was just too much fun to write this ended to where i could add on parts if i really wanted too so if it seemed unfinished i dunno 🤷‍♀️

My eyes fluttered open and hissed at the light in the room everything hurt groaning out in pain as i sat up “oh good.. youre awake. I was getting pretty lonely being in here the only one conscious” Fred called out to me as i rubbed the eye that wasn't covered in gauze “not to be rude or anything but where am i?” i asked moving my hand to rub the back of my neck feeling the popping groaning in some relief throwing a leg over the bed “whats the last thing you remember?” He asked looking at me i rolled my eyes yawning out “I was fighting back to back with one of Percy’s twin brothers… i found him after…. After Penny died…im not sure which twin i was fighting with… i didnt have the time to pick out the differences. Or ask… we were outnumbered ten to three… the minister of magic came in Percy made a god awful joke…. Which we all shared there was an explosion that flew me and the twin i was with against eachother before the wall could come down on us i put up a shield…. And then everything went black” he shifted on to his side “it was me, you saved me.” He smiled “youre Fred?” i asked finally looking at him taking in his broadening smile obviously thrilled that he had someone to talk too “yeah. Im Fred. And to answer your question, youre in George’s bed. We’re at my flat in the shop” he explained “what am i doing in George’s bed in your flat in your shop?" i made a confused face "i know i didn't fall asleep after an intense love making session after a night in the pub so forgive me i am a little confused" i huffed "no. you didn't sleep with my brother. not yet anyway" he rolled his eyes speaking in an amused voice “youre in his bed because after you saved me. The ground gave way under you. And you fell through three floors of the castle, you scratched your face on the rebar on your way down. It missed your eye by a centimeter. I carried you to Pomfrey, You were in a coma for about five months almost six. I insisted that id be the one to help you recover and with your physical therapy after you saved my life. My Fiancėe Angelina would’ve taken care of your injuries for me since you know… im a guy and youre a chick. Then i went and got myself blown up by Bellatrix trying to save my sister… I failed her and now? we’re in the same boat. George turned his room into our recovery room since its the biggest of the two. Angel even agreed to it. Shes really grateful to you. She and mums been taking care of your chest wound seeing as how youre a woman, George handles your eye and… and your leg.” he smiled filling in the details. “What do you mean my leg? physical therapy?” i asked confused furrowing my eyebrows pulling the blanket off of my waist i looked down at my legs to see my right leg had been amputated above the knee “Madame Pomfrey had to take it before you succumbed. Part of the wall fell on it and it was irreparable. I killed the death eater that did that to you” my eyes started to water breathing heavily because it looked like it was so close to killing me i was relieved that i was still alive "love... hey… calm down its okay” he tries to stand but winces falling back to his bed when a loud sob wracks through my lips “shit… GEORGE! GET IN HERE GEORGE NOW!” He yelled suddenly bursted through the door “she just woke up” he told his twin she started to dry heave he wordlessly pulled me into his chest “shhhhh youre okay love its okay.. youre safe.. youre safe.. Pretty girl youre safe.. Percy sat in here with you for two months straight” he cooed they stayed like that as he comforted me when i finally composed myself enough i pulled back slightly  “thank you” i whispered to him “sorry for ruining your nice shirt… i didnt.. i didnt mean to George” i said louder scooting back to leab my back against his headboard “dont worry about that beautiful, its just tears. im sorry you found out that way” he said softly kneeling by the edge of the bed

“Fred was supposed to WAIT to tell you.” He glared at his twin he smiled sheepishly “I didnt expect her to pull her blanket off!” Fred defended himself “that’s enough out of you Fred” he hissed “im George” he smiled at her gently "______ Barebone, I was a ______…" thinking back to my house in school "in your year. Friends with your brother he dated my best friend” “Penny” we said together and i smiled “youre sitting up on your own. Thats a good thing.” He smiled gently at me “is it alright if i checked your eye?” i bit my lip and nodded at him gently. “Can i borrow your owl to write Percy? I want to make sure he’s alright, we both lost Penny" i said barely audible “of course Pretty Girl let me just finish up here i'll get you parchment and a quill when mum and Ange get here” he chuckled He unwrapped the bandage on her face i hissed at the dull pain in my left eye “good… good love, dilation is good. Can you follow my finger for me?” He asked softly “you're tracking well with your left eye sweetheart.” He mumbled he softly covered my right eye with his palm “can you see anything lovely?” He asked “I see your nose… but its blurry” clearly unaffected by his testing of pet names and terms of endearment  he smiled “it looks like the cuts on your face will scar but Fred and I developed a cream that’ll make it go away in a month if you want to use it. I dont have to put the bandage back on… Is it okay if I check your leg?” He asked being extra aware with me being awake and aware of everything he got consent before making physical contact and i nodded not minding the physical contact he slowly cut away the bandages “any pain?” he looked up at me with his green eyes  “just my side” i whispered “yeah, Fred and Percy said you hit a lot of rebar going down after the wall. I’ll let mom and Ange know to up your healing regimen on your side" he sighed looking back at my leg "so wanna tell me why im in your bed and not in St Mungo's right now?" i asked "y'know men usually take girls out to dinner before having their way them in their bed... with their brother watching... never been one for exhibitionistm you know" i teased he snorted "that'd be the voyeur's fault" George winked pointing back to Fred teasingly "thanks for saving him by the way. don't worry Madame Pomfrey stops by every two weeks and she trained both me and Mum to take care of your daily needs. You're in good hands Angel" He added “incision looks good, you can start using the wheel chair youre a little ways away from getting a prosthetic” he smiled “George dear its time to change her….” “Shes up mum” George smiled “I’ll come back in a few minutes with lunch and your potions. I’ll send a quick Owl to Percy as well” He stood up after wrapping her leg then leaving the room giving the women privacy

ଘ(∩^o^)⊃━☆:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧✯:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧✯:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧✯:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧✯:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ

“Afternoon love. You look stunning today” Fred smiled when Angelina gave him a lingering kiss "get a room Voyeur" i stuck my tongue out at Fred he let out a fake offended gasp at me "excuse me ma'am, YOU'RE the one watching ME doesn't that make you the voyeur" he protested "well look at the kettle calling the cauldron black" i retorted "ooh you're just as annoying as..." Molly quickly cut him off before he could mention Ginny pulling the divider so he couldn't see her disrobing “heavens Angelina you're fine shes awake” Molly smiled “Molly Weasley love, ive been taking care of your side. Angies been helping while you were under” she smiles at me "_____, but George has been calling me Love, Pretty girl, Beautiful, Sweetheart, Angel... basically any pet name he can think of. quite endearing" i said with a small smile taking off the hospital gown they put me in “im Angelina, I wanted to thank you for saving my Fiancé” she gently taking off the bandages on my chest “it wasnt an issue I think he returned the favor and then some seeing as how he got blown up just seconds after i saved his behind” i chuckled glaring through the divider "I HEARD THAT BRATT! its not my fault that Bellatrix was a crazy witch out for blood" Fred protested "i fell through three floors for you. i get to have this!" i protested back “he didnt have to do much convincing. George was going to ask you to Yule ball, and any one who keeps that dingleberry alive is a friend in my book” Angie smiled breaking up the sibling squabble we were having “lift your arms for us?” Molly asked when Angelina finally got the bandage off “he was going to ask me to the ball?” I asked wincing when my arms came up armpit height dropping them slightly “ive got you girl” Angelina caught my arms and lifted so Molly could repair the split skin “yeah, he was. George wouldn’t stop talking about it for weeks then McClaggen beat him to it. Sulked for weeks on end” Angie shook her head in amusement "he wouldnt stop moaning about it either" Fred chimed in "he was worse than moaning Myrtle" you could hear the disgust and teasing in his voice “thats sweet. He probably would’ve been a better choice. McClaggen was an arse” i smiled “your cut seems to be healing well, looks like you still have that infection. I’ll add the antibiotics back into your medicine” Molly smiled as she wrapped the bandage back around my chest taking down the divider again Fred promptly flipped me off where i just stuck my tongue out at him again

“Alright George, Fred, we’ll be off” Molly smiled “see you later love, have a good day at work. mum” Fred kissed Angie “call if you need anything George” Angelina smiled he nodded “Take these” George handed her the potions he sat on his bed next to her as he held the empty ones and handed me the full potion phials “how you feeling Pretty girl?” “Like i fell three floors out of a castle” i gagged drinking the potions that tasted exactly like feet "ugh you think that theyd be kind to people who almost die" i choked out  he chuckled “i would’ve said yes by the way” he cocked an eyebrow a me “Ange told her that you were going to ask her to Yule ball” Fred filled in “i wouldve said yes, McClaggen was a dick” i handed him the empty phials as he handed me the full bottles “we can go dancing later if you wanted too, i enjoy dancing i usually go to the muggle clubs on 5th. They have salsa nights, or ball room dancing. You know. to make up for the ball” i smiled his blush grew “i might just take you up on that when youre ready and comfortable enough on your new leg” he fell into a playful flirtation “even with one leg sir, i can out dance you” gaining a laugh from Fred “if youre already joking about having only one leg what was all that crying about?” “FRED!” George tried to scold “Honestly?” i cut him off looking to Fred “i was just glad it was my right leg. I had a bad tattoo that i had to get removed. Someone shouldve told that eater he didnt need to go THAT extreme” i jested “tattoo?” George asked “it was a swallow. It used to match my mom. honestly it really was a bad tattoo” i smiled “you think the healers would let me get a peg leg? OOH! I could even get an eye patch!” They both erupted into laughter “nah im just pulling your right legs since you know i dont have one” “alright alright stop!! It hurts to laugh dick head!” “HEY! Its peg leg to you! I dont have a dick. Or a dick head for that matter. But i will have a fake leg.” i yelled at Fred playfully he just laughed harder at that “ARG MATEY!”  The three share a laugh George catches his breath “who wouldve known you were so funny” he gave her a toothy grin that turned into a closed mouth smile “i make light of bad situations. My brother, ____. He used to call me sunshine and sing this stupid muggle song ‘ive got sunshine… on a cloudy day… when its cold out side, ive got the month of May….’” i laughed “my girl. From the temptations. He used to call me sunshine” “who knew you could sing” Fred Jested “i cant. But he could” i smiled at Fred “you have a brother?” George asked “Had” i smiled “took a curse for me told me to go find mum and dad, Dad died outside the room of requirement, protecting firsties. And my mom… she was tortured near the beginning.” i smiled sadly “Ginny ended up passing too” he smiled sadly she gave him a sympathetic smile squeezing his hand “i was crying because it looked like it came this close to crushing me entirely and for some reason im still alive. Something from the grace of Merlin im alive, i was happy that im Alive” i looked at George who was looking at me with a guilty expression

“come on handsome… wheres that pretty smile you had on for me i worked hard for that you know. Im not a good flirt. I was hoping youd lead, and hopefully ask me to dinner or coffee if i played my cards right. Its not every day someone as pretty as you are is willing to take care of me to laugh with me or at me” i reached up to his face he leaned into my touch chuckling completely red in the face “im okay, we four knew what was going on and what was at risk im okay. Promise.” i smiled softly at him he smiled “Handsome huh?” “You called me beautiful when im obviously a mess.” i shrugged he started smiling again she noticed his dimples and the way his cheeks creased and my face heated up “theres my pretty smile… you have really really pretty eyes… and dimples…. Did i mention i have a thing for guys with dimples.” i smiled rubbing a thumb on his cheek he looked down and back up to my eyes trying to find the right words “youre pretty even if youre a mess” he smiled softly “yep thats it. Ive decided. Youre the handsome twin.” “HEY!” Fred protested “take that!” George smiled laughing at triumphantly like that was an argument theyve had multiple times Fred who was pouting crossing his arms over his chest “youre the nicest twin” She smiled at Fred “acceptable” he smiled at me “im going to get your lunches” he smiled to them “thank you. Can i use your owl again? I need to owl gringots. Get some money for rent and food and care” i muttered to myself “no need. All taken care of” Fred said “you saved me. You dont pay for shit when in our care” he shrugged ending the conversation “do you really want a peg leg?” Fred asked out of the blue “i’ll take what i get.” i shrugged. “At least let me help with groceries” i huffed annoyed “once a month” George bargains “Zero times and shes happy about it” Fred protests “Three times but i let you pay for my prosthetic” she countered “no times, we pay for the prosthetic and she gets what she wants at the shop” fred demanded “we pay for your prosthetic, twice a month, you transfigure your own room, personal care supplies fully yours” George offered “thats a deal i can live with… did you just ask me to move in with you without you asking me out on a date first? When can i expect a proposal? Or should i ask Percy to bring Kingsley and skip to ‘I do’” i smiled at George and he flushed 50 shades of red as Fred snickered “you say youre not good at flirting but this is the third time youve rendered Georgie here speechless” Fred laughed she looked at Fred as he looked back at her “i cant help it i almost died, and lifes too short for me to keep being shy. Theres a first for everything right? Who wouldve known the first man outside of Percy and you i try to actually talk too would flirt with me. He could be my first love, my first actual relationship maybe. He could be my husband one day. Quit butting in youre ruining my shot i dont know how many of these i have you know. Mangled face and peg leg. I wanna get it right the first time! Who knows. Maybe if i flirt enough i’ll get him to fall completely head over heels in love with half of a girl i used to be Perc always told me to put myself out there. What a better time then now?” i shrugged Fred laughed “im not butting out Maam we share a room! Theres no possible way for me to butt out your business IS my business! And with the way youre going Love" Fred called out the way George would say it "he’ll be in love with you by the end of the week” Fred snickered George just shrugged “i had a crush on you in 5th year.” He looked at me it was my turn to be rendered speechless “you wont have to work too hard to make me fall for you Pretty Girl we're already half way there” he shrugged leaving the room leaving me speechless

°✩₊✩°。⋆˚⁺⁺˚⋆。°✩₊✩°。⋆˚⁺⁺˚⋆。°✩₊✩°。⋆˚⁺⁺˚⋆。°✩₊✩☆━(╹-╹’’)

A month had passed Fred was able to start his Physical therapy and Molly wasnt coming by daily anymore “FUCK!” Fred screamed “come on Freddie you can do it!” i cheered him on from my seated position on the bed  “it feels like my insides are going to spill out” He whimpered clinging to Georges shoulder “two more steps Freddie. Just have to make it to the chair” George encouraged “FUCK FUCK” he groaned “almost there Freddie youve got this!” He slowly took another step as i cheered him on "come on Freddie boy make that chair your bitch" i teased  he looked at her and smiled “thanks love.” He smiled taking another step reaching the chair “alright good good sit rest. We’ll go back to bed in 5” he smiles at his twin George looked at me with a smile “time to check my stump handsome?” i looked up to George “yes pretty girl. Time to check your leg, and your eye” he smiled i removed the blanket hissing as she moved further up the bed and turning to throw my leg off the side he sits in the stool next to the bed “any pain?” He asked as he looked at my eye with the flash light “just my side. I think your mom said it was an infection again. Apparently my core isnt strong enough to battle muggle infections.” i shrugged “follow my finger” i watched his finger as he moved it “sometimes it feels like my leg is still there and and its like a sharp pain. But its not there and its weird” i talk as he covers my right eye “i can see your face” i smile at him “she woke up screaming last night” Fred said to the air “she said she was fine her leg just hurt” “why didnt i hear the scream?” He asked as he unwrapped the leg “she casted a muffelito on the room before she fell asleep” Fred ratted her out “tattle tail” i stuck my tongue out at him “brat” he hissed back “Baby!” She teased “toddler!” He yelled back “you have crappy hair!” i crossed my arms over my chest “TAKE THAT BACK!” Fred yelled “MAKE ME YOU CRIPPLE!” George laughed at the banter "PEGLEG!" he stuck his tongue out at me "you two are toddlers" George rolled his eyes  “i… have nightmares. I didnt think it was an issue” i said as he looked at the leg “youre healing fast. Should be able to take the staples out soon, we’ll call madame Pomfrey to come fit you for a prosthetic. Tell me if this hurts” he said as he gently massaged my thigh above the stump i gasped as he gently squeezed “feels great” i said breathily “teach me” i whispered to him he smiled as i placed my hands over his he looked back down putting his hands over mine as he moved my fingers showing me how to ease the pain of the lost leg “it wont hurt forever…” he said softer i smiled at him “thank you George for doing this for me” i looked down “hey. Its handsome to you, Pretty girl, you saved Fred. Its the least I can do.” He kissed the top of my head “youre the kindest person I have ever met… and id get myself crushed over and over again if it meant I got to meet you all over again George. You’re making me fall for you. Is this one sided? Dont make me out to be a fool” i whispered in his ear gently kissing his cheek, his eyes widened in shock at the forwardness and tenderness this girl had for him they’ve only known each-other for about three months at this point he cleared his throat taking his hands off her leg “he's blushing like an idiot again! what did you say to him!” Fred who was watching intently with a bag of crisps “did you accio a bag of crisps?" i furrowed my eyebrows “its not every day i have a front row seat to my brothers love life. There i answered yours now answer mine” Fred rolled his eyes “I told him I thought he has pretty eyes” i fibbed they both know i did he raised an eye brow at me George still staring with red on his cheeks i shrugged

“i didnt lie. He’s…." i blushed looking down “nevermind” i turned over in bed facing the wall he leans over placing a hand on my hip gently and kisses my cheek “youd never be the fool when im with you. Its not one sided. Im the fool love made a whole career out of it. But im also a fool falling in love with the sweetest most beautiful woman I’ve ever met and I’m the lucky one to get to take care of her” he whispered into my ear he pushes off the bed “WAIT WHAT DID HE SAY!!!” Fred groaned eating another crisp “thats for her to know. And you to find out NEVER” George said walking toward him “Come on Fred, lets get back to bed” George hoisted him up after putting the crips off to the side “i was eating those!” He pouted “sod the crisps you need to do this pt!” George yelled gaining a laugh from _____. A month had passed since then, “Afternoon Pretty girl, I need to check your stump” he smiled setting my plate of food on the dresser “we can get Pomfrey in here to measure you for your leg soon. And your physical therapy with Fred and I” i smiled back “can you massage my leg handsome? Its starting to hurt again….” i whispered “alright love, just for a little” he smiled she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror i frowned as Fred met my eyes mood immediately dropping “I gotta get down to the shop before Lee bites my head off.” He smiled at me and i returned it “have a good day at work Handsome” “thank you pretty girl” he smiled when the door closed my smile faded as i stared into the mirror tears formed in my eyes Fred looked at her concerned “you okay Love?" Fred whispered “I miss my brother” i sniffled “he always knew what to say” “well im not your brother but im in need for a sister… if youre in need of a brother… i think we both qualify to fill each others open positions yeah?” He asked i turned to him looking at him with tears in my eyes “teach me what to say, let me be your brother love" He looked at me with gentile eyes

“tell me im deserving pf love even if im broken and ugly” i mumbled he was taken aback he took in a breath and smiled “love, you’re gorgeous, George sees how pretty you are and youve got him whipped. You deserve him and the love he wants to give you trust me” hours passed when George walked in with our dinners light sniffles could be heard from the other side of the room my back was turned to him he looked to Fred who just gave him a tight lipped smile and walked to the other side of the room after handing him his plate he set mine down next to my un-touched lunch plate on the bed side table “hey pretty girl…. What’s wrong… you in pain?” i shook my head no “what’s wrong beautiful, tell me what’s the matter how can I make you smile again?” He cooed softly “Dont lie to me” my voice hoarse like i had been crying for hours he reached to wipe away a tear ”what do you mean I’ve never lied to you Beautiful” hurt hit me square in the chest “you just did. You always do.. mangled face, missing leg. I stare at the girl ive become all day that mirror haunts me my own reflection is a reminder that im alone. And im no longer beautiful and its sickening you dont have to keep flirting with me because you feel obligated to. No one wants someone like me. Not anymore im not pretty and im definitely not beautiful. I have no one. No ones here” i sobbed more closing my eyes sniffling “I miss my brother. He would be in this bed with me. Holding me. Telling me to cheer up sunshine the worlds cloudy and gray without you please sunshine smile for me? combing through my hair like he always did holding me together while I fall apart but hes gone. My mums gone. My dads gone. I havent slept in four months the nightmares keep coming back and I just want to cry I cant be the girl that flirts twenty four seven with a guy thats too polite to tell me that it makes him uncomfortable when this is all over im going to be alone again just let mw grieve the loss of my leg, my family, and my face. I have no where to go. All I have is an empty house my best friend died, my leg hurts twenty four seven and I just need to be sad for a few hours can you leave me alone for a few hours I’ll be normal again in the morning I dont need your pity” he continued to wipe the tears off my face as he processed what i said “im not going to stop calling you pretty, and beautiful because thats what I see when I look at you Angel, I mean look at you love…” he said softer “just look at you….. i cant take my eyes off of you… youre just too good to be true the sight of you leaves me weak there are no words left to describe how pretty you are sweetie”  lifting my face in his cupped hands “youre stunning you leave me breathless, all those things you just mentioned are fixable, love, half of what you said isnt true, you really think that Fred and Angelina is going to leave you alone after youre all healed up and better? Youve got another thing coming. Theyre never going to stop you have friends. Percy’s been here every day since we owled. Fred and Angie made it clear youre their person” he smiled softly “im not letting you go either im afraid youre stuck with me you still owe me a date, and a dance” he whispered standing up and draping a blanket over the mirror i cried more as she felt the bed dip behind me he pulled me into his side one arm under my head one on my torso pulling me on my back fingers immediately going to y hair “if you needed someone to hold you. You could’ve just said so I would’ve done this ages ago if you needed it” he brushed his fingers through my hair humming softly

“and you dont have to say anything to me at all. I flirt with you because I enjoy flirting with you. You make me happy and light, you render me speechless and no one. And I mean no one can do that. But you can, thats why I do what I do you dont make me uncomfortable love. I miss Ginny too. She was a spitfire and its hard not having her around anymore, and if its alright, I want to hold you while we cry about our siblings yeah?” He asked i turned on my side draping an arm over his torso “im sorry about Ginny… her and Luna were really nice to me” i sniffled “I need you to eat for me… I’ll eat with you.” He pulled the roll off of my plate, ripping it in half handing it to me “im sorry about your brother Pretty girl" he whispered as he ate making sure i ate some of the food as well

ଘ(∩^o^)⊃━☆:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧✯:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧✯:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧✯:·ﾟ✧*:

A few hours later i let out a yawn d he started to get up out of bed my arm tightened around him feeling safe for the first time since ive woken up seven months ago “stay…” i said softly his shirt balling in my curled hand “please stay tonight” i whispered he let himself fall back into the bed “Darling wha… what do you mean?” He asked softly “Sleep here… in your bed…. I…. I need sleep…. And im scared to….. theyll come back and haunt me” i whispered “mate she hasnt slept in months i stay up with her as long as i can but i always pass put.” Fred piped up blush spread across my cheeks and i let him go flipping over to my other side embarrassed that i needed someone to make me feel safe enough to sleep “nevermind its stupid forget i said anything” i sniffled he simply reached over and turned out the light “i’ll stay for as long as you need me to stay Pretty girl" he kissed the top of my head again pulling me back into his chest his arm under my head curling back to put his hand in my hair other hand engulfing mine “i’ve got sunshine…. On a cloudy day….” He sung softly twirling my hair in his fingers “when its cold outside, ive got the month of may.. well i guess you say what can make me feel this way” she fell asleep holding onto his hand tightly

“George dear” Molly called out “SHHHH!” Fred said getting out of his bed hissing in pain “let them sleep for a little while longer this is the first shes sleeping since she woke up” he looked back to the girl who hid her face in his twins chest “lets go talk outside” Fred smiled one last time at them sleeping before throwing his arm over his mom and leaning on her for support as they walked out of the room shutting the door lightly

three hours later my eyes fluttered open looking at his sleeping face our lips were so close i bit my lip as his breath fanned over my face a surge of confidence emerged heart hammering against my chest i leaned up and gently pressed my lips to his, his brows furrowed as he stretched slightly pulling me impossibly close to him eyes fluttering open “i….. im sorry,. I didnt know what came over me i shouldve asked fir…” i was cut off by his lips on mine the kiss was soft and slow “goodmorning pretty girl, thank you for the amazing wake up” he murmured against my lips kissing her again “dont be sorry beautiful, ive been waiting for that” he cupped my face with his hand my face contorted in pain “thanks for staying” “i told you already baby… im here for as long as you need me to be” i let out a tear “whats the matter pretty girl? Nervous about your new leg?” He asked softly “im actually really excited for that really. Its just that my leg hurts… and its not even there anymore” i cried softly  “it wont hurt forever…” he said softer “i barely have pain in my ear anymore” he smiled showing me his missing ear she reached up and stroked the hair that fell onto the hole on the side of his head “i still think youre gorgeous Georgeous if you will.. ear, or no ear youre perfect to me… so perfect and kind and caring…” i whispered as i kissed the side of his head where his ear wouldve been his eyes widened in shock at the tenderness of this moment, just for him. He chuckles “only you would make that play on words huh? so cheesy Baby" he rubs my cheek with the pad of his thumb “baby youre so beautiful, and i want you..” he whispered moving his face closer to mine “leg or no leg i think youre amazing, smart, funny, and kind. Unbelievably beautiful and i dont think you should use the cream on your scars, it shows just how strong you are they dont define you or subtract from how i see you. And i would love it, if you’d accompany me to dinner when youre able to, i’ll ask again later when you get your leg and i help you learn how to walk again i want you” he whispered softly massaging my stump as he talked my eyes widened “i guess what im saying is i need you here with me… in the flat.. with me.. everyday youre the first thing i ever want to see and talk too when i get home from the shop youre the first thing i cant wait to see when i wake up… and i need you to stay here with me? Please? I promise you i wont hurt you.. just stay with me and i’ll take care of you.. whatever you need. Angel, please  ive never felt this way about anyone im in love with you Angel please... stay" he breathed out looking at me his arm snaking back up and around my waist tightening around me “im in love with you too George, and... and i want to stay with you.. you and Freddie...” i whispered he kissed me deeply it was a hungry and needy heated kiss the hand around the stump tightened as he pulled me even cliser to him putting the stump over his hip “baby i love you” looking into my eyes kissing me again

@george-weasleys-girl

#george weasley #george weasleyxreader #george weasley x fem #george wealsey imagine #season of love event #wizarding war injuries #fred and george #weasley twins

[catgirlbussy]

im gonna do a lil sadpost, as a treat. if u dun wanna read that or interact or anything there's no harm done <3 it kinda feels nice sayin stuff into the void tbh, cause i know as i look out ill always see myself at minimum, and im still thankful. im alive. if someone can relate or whatever then thats a neat bonus ★

I'm not super sure how to formulate these thoughts, cause lots of it is just incompressible /feeling/. I've been on HRT for close to two years now, and modifying my internal physical landscape alongside the work I put in with the ways I've learned sharing benefit so far, like therapy and self-directed exploration of my emotions and the simple but vital practice of being more open with others about how I'm feeling, has uncovered a lot.

It's been overwhelmingly positive in so many ways. I don't have any regrets for starting this set of changes, even with full knowledge of the difficulties I've had rise as a result and that more are on the horizon, and also full awareness in that I will need to continue putting in the *good* work to care for myself and learn how to navigate the parts in my mind I'd kept hidden or obscured for so long. It's not /bad/, I feel so grateful to have this opportunity at all and I feel bounteous joys in this trove of beautiful experiences that, up 'till not too long ago, I never thought I'd be able to experience -- though I absolutely still dreamed of having them so vividly.

I have a lot of good graces in my life re: my transition. In a lot of ways I feel I've been exceedingly lucky. Canada has its fair share of problems without a doubt, but I also know full well there are a lot more places on our planet where it's much more difficult to be openly trans, let alone dangerous or lethal. I don't take that as an opportunity to rest, either, because having cracks forming in the firmament, letting in light to my dream of a world where trans experiences are accepted (and to note most thoroughly, I'm learning more of a lot of cultures in days gone by, /including some aspects of my own heritage/, having extended gender representations ingrained in their societal norms, some as far even to revere the dynamic and unique experience of existing beyond the gender binary in whatever way they saw as such) for **everyone** spurs in me an even deeper and impassioned drive to work in the ways I'm able to foster communication and connection while rebuking hostility so more and more beautiful, valid trans folks can experience respite and respect and safety as well.

I'm not wanting necessarily to change minds and upend the posture of society with this particular post, though, and so I hope you'll forgive me in my expressing my small, localised set of emotions in this moment. At the root of everything I experience I'm starting to get better at reminding myself that I'm a valid *individual person* in addition to being a contributor in the push for good and kindness for all.

It's probably telling that I feel the need to offer ~4 paragraphs as a disclaimer that I spend time learning about the global scale and am effortful in enacting progress there before just getting on with what I'm even feeling sad about. I don't see myself as a holy martyr for being nervous about expressing myself, but it seems more and more common evidently rather than by my hypothesis alone that many trans individuals would get by prior to exploring their gendered identity with burgeoning self-acceptance with a marked self-exclusionary behaviour when it came to opening themselves to emotional experience, regardless of any given instance being gendered or not. Until it becomes unmanageable, it feels easier to lock away senses of joy, sadness, etc. cause you can keep gettin on by in a sort of functional state and you tell yourself thats enough.

This is far from the worst thing I've come across so far, but I am feeling confused and the confusion is unique in its own way to the extent that I'm not even able to pin down how I /feel/ about feeling it. At its heart I can't seem to muster the right formulation of words to explain to others these particular experiences I'm having in my transition. Painting in broad strokes can be such disservice to the nuance for any individual's cluster of experiences, but tumblr if anything *for me* has brought much happiness in finding threads of commonality with others. Stark contrasts to my feelings of loneliness and seclusion from the world around me give me so much hope. I'm writing this partly in hopes that there is another one of those threads people might appreciate seeing. I do more than my fair share of journaling, but this one feels special and worth sharing right now, and so decadently I write these words for a community beyond myself.

To be blunted, perhaps I might phrase it by saying 'i feel sad about being happy.' It's that sort of absurdist perspective that helps me wrap my head around it a little better with how little sense it makes to my normal machinations. I'm not sad that I am having these new and thrilling experiences of adding or or changing parts of myself to live in the way I best see fit for who I am, but I feel sad because I don't know how to.

I get locked up at the slightest things. Someone compliments my nails, and its so hard to communicate efficiently the impossibly depthed importance this literally surficial act has for me. They aren't even painted well, but I painted them /myself/, I felt catharsis in exploring my love of artistic expression in the choice of colours, I rode high on the thrill of watching this new skill form in my own hands. The coat is uneven and I can't quite keep myself from getting knicks in places as they dry yet and I'm still practicing the nail care associated with maintaining healthy and resilient nails, but if I can be so bold to say, god forbid women do anything.

This person obviously wasn't chastising me for partaking in a traditionally "femininely-associated act", let alone that so thoroughly most things people take for gendered in no way innately are, the whole binary supposition is a damned myth. But because of how I was brought up and the mindset I was taught to have before I fought to think for myself instead, this was a joy I'd always admired but felt I was abhorrent for wanting to partake in. Absolutely anyone who feels otherwise can irrevocably go fuck themselves if they aren't willing to examine the falsity of the foundational thoughts they 'think' they have leading them to ever want someone to abstain from such a viscerally unobstructive and innocuous form of self exploration and creativity bexause it's "for girls". This goes for anything. For anyone. Idc who you are or what label you wanna use at any given moment, go explore. Live life. God fuck do we need people to just experience joy in some ways so we aren't so incorrigible and hostile towards eachother.

But you don't stop whoever took 15 seconds out of their say to mention to you they like the colour and wanted you to know to discurse at length upon the structural bastardisation of who people are allowed to be, cause more than any of that I just want to feel happy about it.

I literally stutter out whatever form of thanks my malformed emotionally-communicative faculties can muster in this surprise and try not to start sobbing in the grocery store aisle or whatever. It's so /good/, and it's so frustrating that I don't even know how to just process and appreciate that it is.

I was so much an absentee in my own bodied self that I could not fathom an understanding of what gender euphoria was until it snuck up smashed me in the teeth. I didn't have any basis of understanding for what it was really like to be happy about some part of myself.

Despite my loneliness I have still had the experiences of friendships, people caring about me, and relationships where a partner genuinely appreciated parts of me, physical, mental, emotional, whatever. More now than ever I am having those experiences as I learn to come out of my cloister inside my head. But this time I'm not just numb to everything. Sure, as I'm learning to not just be unilaterally numb until my bastion of self-isolation fails and I break there is abundance of pain, but the pain I honestly prefer. It's more vivid than it's ever been before, but I can benchmark that I'm still alive by its contrast to neutrality. It's familiar, and my mechanisms of clutching my emotions into my soul can still carry me forward as I try to figure things out. But fuck me is it ever hard to have a happy experience and not know how to communicate that it tore my sense of stability in those moments to shreds. To lose the composure that carried me for so many years because someone sought to share something with me they thought I'd appreciate because they care about me feels so counterproductive to just enjoying the absolute gift that experience is.

Abstractly, as I'm wont to do to a remarkably self-apparent fault, I can tell myself that these things take time. Human emotion is so complex, and its panoply of shifting lights glinting as the facets move their positioning relative to the light of being alive is what drives me to do art, and it always has been, contradictory so fully to my desire to lock everything away. I can't circumnavigate multiple decades of trauma and be free and unfettered in my senses in an instant just because I'm aware it's possible. And so I try so fucking hard not to just sit down and cry in that grocery store aisle, cause it hurts so bad to be happy.

How dare I find glints of good in the polluted landscape we live in. But that mindset helps nothing. People striving to live amidst turmoil is what makes life worth living. There will always be strife, but there will always be the possibility for hope alongside it.

Without fail, each night I'll self-soothe myself into a mode of somewhat-restfulness imagining what it would be like to trust myself enough to be imperfect and let someone hold me. It's the only thing I do anymore. It even backfires sometimes and I just waking-dream my way through countless blissful scenarios about what it would be like if that cute girl I've been starting to become friends with mentioned she wanted to hold my hand for hours until the sun comes up and I know I won't have any sleep at all. It's so goddamn worth it. I revel in it, because at least in the theatre of my mind I can find small ways of letting myself feel those joys. They aren't really happening. It's my own hand rubbing a thumb gently along my collarbone in a faux affection. But it's the only way I've found that's not so obstructively blinding in intensity for me to practice what it would be like to be close to others.

I still lose my sense of self so often. I find bruises from where I bumped into things and wholesale didn't notice until the tiredness sets in and I can't autonomously ignore how sore I am. I dive effortlessly into the placid waters of dissociation when someone gives me a hug, despite that being what I have dreamed of for so many years during my self-imposed isolation. Someone tells me they like an art piece I've made and I stopper any sense of pride or appreciation for their kind words despite pouring however much time channeling my slowly uncoiling understanding of reality into every particle of it and wishing that my experiences could convey any amount of any feeling whatsoever to another living being with the entirely selfish act of wanting that I feel like I had a real connection.

I can't get by with chainsmoking and shelf-set pain medications and blind ignorance any more. I can't ignore how badly I want to feel. I am figuring it out instant by instant and it scares me horribly. One day my yearnings for closeness will be actualised because I'll be ready to open when they come. My selfsense-extracted mutterings of the hypothetical joys of being pressed down into sheets and kissed because someone deigned to gift me with attention for they hold appreciation of this newly forming, ill-configured, but ultimately revelatory feminine self I'm becoming will no longer be fiction and prose but the rawness of experience that I, once, and then more, can lose myself into without terror thay I'm inadequate and never truly worth it. Someone will touch my breasts and love me for loving them myself and I'll give in to the annihilating instant where I am no longer a sense of self but just am. This body is not me but my, and I will scrape and fight however I can muster to live vicariously thru it because that is what I am meant to do by being here alive at all. If anything ever again I want to feel what love is like.

I'm not even reading this back to see if it conveys properly let alone makes sense at all. I'm exhausted and in so much pain. If you read this, thanks, and, if you can, go hug someone you love today.

#acceptance #love #kindness #affection #expression #long post #tldr #hope #trans #transgender #trans femme #trans girl #transition #hrt #hormones #mtf #pride #self love

[warmilksz]

Intuitive ✨ Reading

12

34

Hello everyone, it's been a while since I've posted. Sorry 😭, life got ahead of me and had no time I hope your all doing well! (⁠っ⁠˘⁠з⁠(⁠˘⁠⌣⁠˘⁠ ⁠)

**just a disclaimer: take what resonates and leave what doesn't for others. Go with the flowwwww It's a general intuition reading (⁠~⁠￣⁠³⁠￣⁠)⁠~**

In any case, I hope you have a bit of fun reading ! 🥰

Center yourself if needed and go with what resonates to you.

For this pile I'm getting this person enjoys spending time with you. I think you both could be good friends or at least familiar/acquaintances with eachother. In general they are pretty calm and chill when they are spending time with you and appreciate how relaxed you make them feel. Like Netflix and chill but you guys actually get to watch the show and chill lol. Hmm... But It seems like they may be hiding some thoughts and/or feelings. You might find them kind of dry at times, like u ask a deep question but they hit you with a "yeah/ok" (uh...Do you find them boring 💀?)but it's not because they don't like your company. It feels like they have something they want to tell you but they are afraid it might hurt your feelings and they don't want to do that to you. For some, you and this person have had some conflicts in the past, and now are on good terms but they are still feeling unsure how to face them with you... On the other hand this person could be developing feelings for you and it's shaking them up. Either way they don't want you to see them shook so they are doing their best to keep the vibe easy and relaxing for you, even if they have to suppress their feelings a bit. Don't worry though, they are working on their feelings and how to express this! And keep in mind your feelings matter as well 💞!

For this pile, your person is really happy when they spend time with you. You may know this person or have spent time with them recently. Deep down inside, they were so happy to see you last time. (i feel like I got a pep in my step rn! ☺️ ) It's funny but I get the image of a fluffy puppy in ur lap, wagging its tail rapidly and you just petting them casually as they snuggle into you 🐶. You light up their darkness, all the bad energy and stress in their lives evaporates when they are with you. It's like you are their angel, and they know how lucky they are to feel this...(Are you or this person religious?) For some, this person has pure romantic feelings or at the very least, loves/cares about you alot. This is a person that enjoys their time with you and is so grateful for it. Even if some of you don't feel as excited as they do, it won't phase them. You guys could plan to spend time together, nothing could go according to plan and they would leave smiling just because they got to be alone with your presence lol. They feel blessed and thankful to be with you.. your body and heart...with you it's pure bliss. this is a extra message but they want more of you.. Im getting the song "One Kiss" from Dua lipa and Calvin Harris. It's ok if u don't know the song. Just know that if they could get "one kiss" from you, they will be satisfied for life lol (this person could go on and on but let me stop 😭 🫣 )

This person doesn't want to say how they feel for some reason but regardless they are strong willed. This person feels strong when they are with you, and they are willing to fight for this feeling between the both of you(yeah! 💪 Lol). I think this person when they are not around you can feel a bit sad, or their thoughts get to them, making it hard for them to deal with alone. You could be the kind of person that cares and gives great advice to people when they are going through things. And this person recognizes this about you. Kinda like a Gardner 🧤 and a flower 🌹. Your personality gives them the water to grow and feel...refreshed! On that note, you could be something of a cheerleader to this person. (Idk what you saying to this person but you are hyping them up 💪😭) yeah you really make this person feel like Hercules 😭. Wow pile 3 . They could be a couch potato, get a pep talk from you then slay a dragon or fly to the moon🤩. Perhaps your words have this effect because they care alot about you and love you. For some, this love is what they were hesitant about admitting. They don't want to appear vulnerable, could be one of the things they struggle with. In any case, they will definitely get better with you around ! Make sure u gas yourself up first pile 3! Y'know what they say- Can't pour from an empty 🫗 cup.❤️

Alright, this person likes your whole asthethic, the way you could talk, walk and dress. In other words, they think your really cute (😋aww ur a fashionista?). For some, they even daydream about you wearing something cute and them getting the chance to see you in it and be in your presence. You are really admirable to this person, they could watch you be yourself all day and they wouldn't say anything(a bit similar to pile 2 so check that out if u feel drawn.) You doing basic tasks like doing laundry seems like great entertainment for them lol. You think you're just being yourself but they see someone breathtaking. Though, a part of this person can't believe they are feeling this way about you. Don't worry, it's not them thinking you aren't mesmerizing. They are just shocked. They never expected to find someone that could captivate them so much in the way you have. Especially since you do things and dress in ways that is normal and routine for you. This person feels like they are being swept up by their feelings for you and you don't even realize it. This sounds confusing but they don't want want to look at you but then they want to watch? (Do you know u got them wanting like this ?😭🫣) it's driving them kinda crazy lol They just cant help but have this kind of wonder and respect for you. For some you recently met this person and others will meet them soon. 🌹

Thank you for reading 🙏😊

#pick a card #pick a pile #pac reading #love reading #tarot #warmilksz #future spouse #anime #anime and manga