#and none of the advice is valid because she has had one relationship that may or may not have ended cuz her girlfriend cheated on her

[rainedroptalks]

Ruth/Grace is actually the funniest ship ever. It makes sense for Ruth, but the idea of Grace’s queer awakening being Ruth fucking Fleming is the best thing to think about.

The two of them both went to Alice separately at different times for advice since she is the only lesbian they both know (Steph might be bi but no one trusts her advice)

#ramblings #npmd #starkid #nerdy prudes must die #grace chasity #ruth fleming #alice is the elder (she is 2 years older than them) lesbian that everyone comes to for advice #and none of the advice is valid because she has had one relationship that may or may not have ended cuz her girlfriend cheated on her #dunno if I ship it personally but god is it fun

[glazesunflower]

may i ask for some dating headcannons with focalors the hydro archon? :3

Dating Furina/Focalors Headcanons

Characters: Furina/Focalors x GN!Reader.

Warnings: None that apply!

Notes: I was waiting to play the first Fontaine Archon Quest to get a grasp of her character before writing this. I have to say, I absolutely love this gremlin and bratty Archon. I hope you have as much fun reading this as I had writing it. (The last ones are my favorite <3)

Furina is flamboyant, imprudent and she lives for the thrill of the drama and the validation of those around her, so you’ll have to be very understanding and patient with her and the fair amount of mishaps that she will surely cause. So be prepared!

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She doesn’t really voice it, she’s too proud for that, but she absolutely loves the way you’ve become her anchor, helping to balance out her impulsive nature with your calm and understanding demeanor. When she's on the brink of making a hasty decision, you're there to gently guide her, reminding her to consider all perspectives and consequences before acting. And she takes your advice to heart, be proud of that!

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She struggles internally a lot with the pressure of her public image. Of course, she doesn’t say this directly to you, but you can see how it affects her, and so you write for her heartfelt letters whenever she's facing a tough situation. She doesn’t really make much of a fuss about them, but internally your words of encouragement and reminders of her strengths become her source of comfort, and she rereads them many more times than she’s willing to admit. She even has a special box where she keeps them all. But don’t ask her about it!

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But it’s not all sappy stuff, your relationship with her is very adventurous and fun! Furina absolutely loves a good thrill and an outstanding performance in everything she does, so you’re of course expected to tag along in all of her endeavors. Whether it's exploring a new case that’s just taken place, trying out quirky local restaurants, or taking impromptu road trips through Fontaine, you both find joy in the thrill of the new things you try together!

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Furina absolutely thrives on positive attention and affirmation. She is always very touched by your heartfelt compliments and words of encouragement (she probably won’t say it, mind you, but she would engrave your words in her mind to always come back to them). Express your admiration for her skills, charisma, and unique qualities and Furina will glow, feeling appreciated and loved. Keep them coming, she can’t get enough!

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After some time of her being with you, Furina will slowly (and I mean, very slowly) feel comfortable enough with letting her guard down around you. And that is no easy feat! She’s constantly thinking that she will be judged by whatever she says wrong, so you should feel immensely lucky that she’s willing to trust you with her innermost turmoils! (Her words.) In time, you create a safe space where she can express her insecurities without fear of judgment, because you’re kind like that and you love her. You encourage Furina to have a ton of heartfelt conversations, and slowly you help her understand that she doesn't have to be perfect to be loved. It’s still a work in progress, but she’ll get there.

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Furina is a sucker for gifts. After all, what better way for others to express their admiration for her, right? But the ones she loves the most are yours, of course. The gifts and tokens of your affection hold special meanings, since you picked them out knowing she’d like them. Like a charm to remind her of her resilience or a piece of art that reflects her flamboyant personality and you thought, “Oh, this reminds me of her!”. Keep doing that. She can’t get enough of it.

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Knowing how much she loves and treasures positive attention, you organize surprise events or gatherings to celebrate Furina’s accomplishments, no matter how small they are. She doesn’t make a big deal out of it (She deserves all the praise and attention, after all!), but you see the brightest smile dancing on her lips the whole day, and that’s how you see how much she values these moments. These thoughtful gestures show Furina that you genuinely appreciate her efforts and want to support her in all aspects of her life. She will try even harder this time, if only for you to praise her more.

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Your relationship with her is also full of laughter. You tease each other constantly, at all times, sharing inside jokes, and find humor in the quirks of everyday life together. Furina knows you have an ability to make her smile even in challenging times and she silently appreciates you so much for her. Still, you tease her too much. And she is the embodiment of the divine, she can’t have you teasing her in public!

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With the passing of the time by your side (and I mean, at a very slow pace!), Furina starts to overcome her need for constant validation from others. She slowly becomes more confident in her abilities in the court and outside of it, and she learns to embrace her imperfections (her impulsivity, childlike temper, the constant bravado and drama, the list goes on!), understanding that you love her for who she truly is. Really, how could you not? She’s impressive and heavenly! It’s only natural you’re head over heels and completely in love with her! (She’s working on her arrogance, too).

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Furina loves the spotlight more than anything else in the world (well, she only likes you more, and that’s saying something!), so sometimes you plan extravagant date nights that cater to her love for the spotlight. Whether it's a private outdoor performance under the stars or a playful evening of reenacting dramatic scenes from her favorite plays, you keep the excitement alive for her. And she thrives in every minute of it.

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When it comes to physical touch, Furina is by far not used to it at the very beginning, so she’s fairly unsure when it comes to it. But she’s quick to realize that your gentle pats on her back, walking around with linked arms, or even a reassuring touch on her shoulder during moments of stress in the courtroom make her feel so much better instantly! Is this some kind of heavenly magic? 

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Furina quickly starts to associate your touch with positive emotions. Holding hands with you during a thrilling adventure or wrapping an arm around your waist while watching a dramatic play becomes something she really, really likes doing. 

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And when you introduce cuddling to her, Furina finds a whole new world to explore and enjoy. Whether it's lounging on your couch or stargazing, Furina wants to be in your arms at all times, if she has any say in the matter! Let her nuzzle into your neck and stay there for a while, she feels the safest she’s ever felt.

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Furina enjoys your touch very much. She does not enjoy, however, how you playfully tease her with light touches, tickles, and gentle bumps! She’s the embodiment of justice, you can’t just have her wiggling and choking on laughter beneath you, how unsightly! (She absolutely loves it).

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Furina has associated your touch with comfort and safety, so don’t be surprised when she comes to you after an especially hard day. Yes, she messed up in the courtroom today, but you’ll let her rest against you, won’t you? Your hugs and embraces become her safe haven. Sometimes she will open up and admit what happened that day. Others, she simply wants to enjoy your arms holding her tight in silence. In either case, she deeply appreciates you being there for her. She won’t voice it, of course, but you’ll know in the way she presses her forehead closer to you and the angle of your neck.

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She also finds that physical touch is very useful! She starts using her own touch on you as a way to express her emotions. A soft kiss on your cheek in the morning, a warm hug after a long day, or even a surprise tackle or an affectionate nudge as you tease each other becomes her way of saying "I care about you" without needing dramatic and flamboyant words. How practical! She will keep showering you with her divine affection for many more years to come!

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Having Furina as a significant other is no easy feat, it takes a lot of courage, determination, and most of all, a big amount of patience and understanding. Still, she is the most vibrant and colorful part of your life, so you wouldn’t have it any other way. With her, you become her partner in both the thrilling moments and the challenges of her life. Your love and support help her navigate her insecurities and embrace her true self, helping to nurture a romance that's passionate and tender and all the beautiful things in between.

If you enjoyed this, please consider liking or reblogging it <3!

You can check more of my writing on (this link!). Thank you!

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin imagines #genshin x you #focalors #furina #furina x reader #focalors x reader #hydro archon #fontaine

[black-coffee-and-sugar]

Fair warning: it's a long post. Let's examine some of the reasons that Kara has cited why she didn't tell Lena the super secret:

1. She wanted to protect her

Now, this one has some legs on it as Kara specifically mentions it in S3 during a conversation with James and Mon-El. And there's definitely some truth to it. But it's also bullshit. Lena was in constant danger and put herself at risk to save/protect Kara who didn't actually need it. In fact, the first time Lena's mentioned (not shown just mentioned) it's in regards to the venture explosion - something that happened because Lex was trying to kill her. People have been trying to kill, kidnap, manipulate, threaten Lena since minute one. Knowing Kara = SG would not have severely worsened any of that. In fact, it might've helped ease Lena's anxieties and resulted in her taking less risks with her life. In fact, I'm surprised Lena didn't think that Kara's association with her was putting Kara at risk (a far more likely thing).

The 100th episode addresses this to some degree in one of the AUs. Lena tells Kara that she wouldn't have had to risk her life dealing with Sam/Reign alone if she'd known the truth and she's absolutely right. And sure, Lena could've told SG and the DEO when she pieced Reign = Sam together but ask yourself, why would she? What assurance did she have that the DEO would not have treated her BEST FRIEND like a hostile instead of someone in need of help? The DEO is guilty of this and they have a history of locking up aliens indefinitely and on occassion straight up murder. After Reign nearly killed their biggest asset (i.e. SG) why in the hell would Lena trust them with helping Sam? She wouldn't nor should she have. She didn't know that she could go to SG because remember, Lena doesn't think of her the same way she does of Kara. SG is not her best friend. She doesn't have a personal, humanized relationship with her (at least not that she knows of). And obviously she's not going to tell Kara the human reporter with the DEO agent sister about it either. And the kryptonite? SG lost her shit over it even though she's been working with the DEO who stockpiled the stuff until SM left with it (a dumbass move that would've bit them so hard in the ass with the WK situation if it weren't for Lena's kryptonite!). Plus, Kara didn't have an issue with Oliver having a kryptonite arrow, J'onn having a sword. But Lena? How dare she!

So yea no. I get that "I kept my secret to protect you" is a popular thing in the hero world but in the case of Kara and Lena, it doesn't make sense and it did make situations unnecessarily harder.

2. She didn't trust Lena

This is mentioned by Kara to William in a deleted scene from S5 but I think it's worth exploring. I'm not sure to what extent Kara means with this but it could be referring to the moments as SG where she did display a distrust of Lena's intentions and she used Lena's personal relationships against her (i.e. asking James to break into Lena's lab). I mentioned the S3 shitshow with the kryptonite which is where a lot of this started but there's also other scenes in that same season where SG pretty much calls into question the so-called trust she has in Lena despite claiming otherwise. The switch was so abrupt the minute she learned Lena not only had but knew how to make kryptonite. Did anyone ever consider why Lena would bother learning how to make kryptonite? I'd hazard a guess that it was something she was looking into even before Sam/Reign. I think she happened to find Lex's stock and she decided to learn how it works and why it affects the Supers like it does. That would explain how Lena seems to be the ONLY ONE able to make an anti-kryptonite suit and other viable forms of the rock (i.e. Harun el). But no, SG and others immediately jump to the worst conclusions and associate the endeavour with Lena's last name, something SG KNOWS Lena is sensitive about it. And then the harun el. SG was suddenly fine with Lena making it when it was to split Sam from Reign and save Argo from extinction. But when it was used for something else that Lena didn't clue her in on (and what do you know, Alex, Brainy and James didn't either and they KNEW what Lena was doing with it) she got back on her high horse and the distrust became front and centre. You can't trust Lena as Kara and then immediately distrust her as SG and expect her to be accepting of this dichotomy. I'm surprised the woman managed to retain her sanity.

And still, this reasoning doesn't quite hit the mark in comparison to every other insistence of Kara believing in Lena (from day one she even told Clark that she believed Lena after meeting her for the first time). But the contrasting opinions and actions must have given Lena pause. I don't blame her to call into question which version of the truth was real and choosing to believe the worst. It's what SG and the SFs have been doing to her.

3. She was wary of Lena

This isn't an explicitly given reason but I do think it's how the secret keeping started in S2. Frankly, I don't even blame Kara for not showing her full deck in the beginning because she (and even us as an audience) didn't know much about Lena beyond wanting to do good and not be like her family. So no, Kara not telling Lena in the beginning actually makes sense to me (though she told Nia in a split second but that's neither here nor there). For me, I started to seriously take Lena at her word after the Medusa episode. That would've been the perfect opportunity for her to show the true "xenophobic" colours some parts of the fandom accuse her of having and she didn't do it. I don't think she even got so much as a thank you for it. People praise SM for getting Lex arrested but ultimately it was Lena's testimony that got him thrown behind bars. Same thing with Lillian! And yes, the daxamite invasion was facilitated by Lena unwittingly working with Rhea but she fixed it with the lead dispersal bomb, a device she allowed SG the privilege of using or not. So Kara and the SFs being cautious about Lena really should've evaporated halfway through S2 (and it did for Kara at least). In fact, the daxamite invasion may not have happened if Lena knew exactly who Rhea was and her relation to Mon-El because they would've warned Lena about it. Lena did want Kara's advice on Rhea and she would've waited for it if she knew what was going on (i.e. Alex being held hostage) and hell, might've been able to fix it in typical Lena ex machina fashion.

4. She didn't want to lose her

This is probably as close to the truth as we've gotten and it's actually part of her confession in 5x01 (something her outburst in 5x19 tries to undo). But the thing is, Kara KNEW this was a possibility and yet, continued walking towards the deadly cliff with her eyes wide open. The probability of losing Lena got higher and higher as time went on and it was always inevitable. There was always this spotlight placed on Kara telling Lena or Lena finding out on her own but there was always a HUGE chance that Lillian would've told her. Or Lex, which is exactly what happened. And Kara knew that they knew and yet she did nothing about it. The minute kara found out Lillian knew she should've taken action, what guarantee did she have that Lillian wouldn't have gotten bored of waiting for Lena to piece it together? How can they just leave Lillian with dangerous knowledge like that is beyond me. When Alex in particular has made such a big deal about people knowing, didn't want Kara telling Lena, only allowed Kara to tell Lucy to save J'onn and yet, letting Lillian amble about with this info is okay??? Nothing was stopping her from telling Lena or it slipping during one their chess games and definitely nothing stopping Lex from dropping that bomb.

The 100th episode AUs showed us that each time it was Kara telling the truth, no matter how hurt and upset Lena rightfully was, she was ultimately fine with it. And Kara ends up losing her to death, not because Lena walked away. How this wasn't the takeaway message for Kara after that adventure, idk. It was Kara's hesitatancy in telling Lena that allowed Lex to weaponize this secret and twist it into something it never was. And yes, Kara doesn't owe a damn soul her secret and has rarely ever been given the chance to tell anyone on her own terms (James - told by SM, Alex, J'onn, Brainy, Mon-El, the Legion - always knew, Lex & Lillian, Lord & Cat - found out somehow). She only ever got to tell Winn, Lucy and Nia and I'm sorry but none of those people have ever proven themselves trustworthy at the time of the reveal the way Lena has.

So while Kara is every right to keep her secrets, she was wrong to insert herself in Lena's life if she never had any intention of telling her and let's be honest, it really didn't seem like Kara had any timeline on that front.

5. She was selfish

Similar to the above and also mentioned during the confession but this is even deeper. Lena was something of an outlet for Kara, a way to feel completely normal, something she hasn't been able to experience with anyone, even Mon-El. Can you imagine being a cub reporter who knows powerful CEO Lena Luthor and having said CEO choose to spend time with you? Choose to let you interview her when she's wary of the press (remember her interactions with Clark in 2x01 and her family history)? Choose to treat your problems as important and valid and human? I don't blame Kara at all for being selfish with Lena, for wanting to keep Lena all to herself like that. But to not share the other aspects of herself was seriously wrong too and resulted in this imbalance in their relationship. To Lena, it looks like she was giving all of herself when Kara was not. It looks like she put all her trust and vulnerabilities out there when Kara didn't. It looks like Kara was using her (which let's be real, she kinda did a few times in S2 with the fight club and bs article to get info on Lillian and then ofc the CatCo-Edge problem she visited Lena for after ignoring her and proceeding to continue the rejection after Lena said she'd look into it).

You think post-reveal Lena didn't think back to all those moments and have those kinda thoughts? Even called into question what might've been the real reason James dated her and Kara was so insistent on befriending her? Were there perhaps times were she figured it out and can't remember and what's why she chose not to see it? Why do we think she still showed up game night in 4x22 instead of confronting Kara? Because these thoughts amongst others must've been swarming her mind and the only way to keep the upper hand is to continue playing dumb. So yes, Kara made the conscious decision to be selfish with Lena because of the unexpected connection they forged and I get it totally. But Lena has never been selfish and she's always made hard efforts to be a damn good friend (and she was idc what others might think on that) and open herself up to Kara despite how difficult and frankly foreign that is for her.

So are Kara's reasons valid? To a point, I would say yes but their validity waned over the seasons to the point where the secret keeping didn't even make sense anymore.

So was Lena's anger valid? Yes! 100% it was and honestly, I'm surprised she managed to keep it together for so long. I couldn't. But her anger doesn't justify her actions (mind control, manipulating Kara, threatening Russell, holding J'onn's bro captive, putting Hope inside Eve) and how she went out of her way to hurt Kara back. However, I get why she did it though it's worth pointing out that this is the only instances of a betrayal in her life where Lena has gone this far. Bitch straight up spiralled where previously she would cut ties and move the fuck on with life. But with Kara, that doesn't even seem to manifest itself to Lena as an option. Will the show ever address the obvious WHY for this and for Kara being so so terrified of losing Lena (like honestly I have never seen Kara look more distressed).

Maybe, maybe not but regardless I'm not buying this platonic friends nonsense because no one is that devastated over a friendship. Many of us (myself included) have experienced falling outs with very close friends and breakups. Which one do you think the Kara/Lena rift in S5 felt like? It was full on heartbreak, loving someone in complete torment and not being able to stop despite wanting to because even though it's painful, the alternative is infinitely worse.

MB and KM's acting choices aside, these idiot showrunners have brought us to this point with their own narrative and the only logical next step is to make them canon.

Lol okay I'm done.

#long ass post i know #but i had to get this all out #because i just can't look at canon events any other way #its all led to this from 'and who are you exactly?' and it hasn't slowed down #kara's ultimate underlying reason is that she's dangerously in love and i will die on that hill #supercorp #coffee speaks

[princesssarisa]

Some more “Little Women” remarks: the problem of Beth

I honestly think most commentary I’ve read about Beth’s character is bad, both academic and from casual readers.

I understand why. She’s a difficult character. Modern readers who love Little Women and want to celebrate it as a proto-feminist work need to contend with the presence of this thoroughly domestic, shy, sweetly self-effacing character, seemingly the opposite of everything a feminist heroine should be. Meanwhile, other readers who despise Little Women and consider it anti-feminist cite Beth as the embodiment of its supposedly outdated morals. Then there’s the fact that she’s based on Louisa May Alcott’s actual sister, Lizzie Alcott, and does show hints of the real young woman’s complexity, and yet she’s much more idealized than the other sisters, which often makes readers view her as more of a symbol (of what they disagree, but definitely a symbol) than a real person.

But even though the various bad takes on her character are understandable, they’re still obnoxious, and in my humble opinion, not founded in the text.

Here are my views on some of the critics’ opinions I least agree with.

“She’s nothing but a bland, boring model of feminine virtue.”

Of course it’s fair to find her bland and boring. Everyone is entitled to feel how they feel about any character. But she’s not just a cardboard cutout of 19th century feminine virtue. So many people seem to dismiss her shyness as just the maidenly modesty that conduct books used to encourage. But it seems blatantly obvious to me that it’s more than just that. Beth’s crippling shyness is actively portrayed as her “burden,” just like Jo’s temper or Meg and Amy’s vanity and materialism. She struggles with it. Her parents have homeschooled her because her anxiety made the classroom unbearable for her – no conduct book has ever encouraged that! In Part 1, she has a character arc of overcoming enough of her shyness to make new friends like Mr. Laurence and Frank Vaughn. Then, in Part 2, she has the arc of struggling to accept her impending death: she doesn’t face it with pure serenity, but goes through a long journey of both physical and emotional pain before she finds peace in the end. Her character arcs might be quieter and subtler than her sisters’, but she’s not the static figure she’s often misremembered as being.

‘She needs to die because her life has no meaning outside of her family and the domestic sphere.”

In all fairness, Beth believes this herself: she says she was “never meant” to live long because she’s just “stupid little Beth,” with no plans for the future and of no use to anyone outside the home. But for readers to agree with that assessment has massive unfortunate implications! The world is full of both women and men who – whether because of physical or mental illness, disability, autism, Down Syndrome, or some other reason – can’t attend regular school, don’t make friends easily, are always “young for their age,” don’t get married or have romantic relationships, aren’t able to hold a regular job, never live apart from their families, and lead quiet, introverted, home-based lives. Should we look at those real people and think they all need to die? I don’t think so! Besides, it seems to me that the book actively refutes Beth’s self-deprecation. During both of her illnesses, it’s made clear how many people love her and how many people’s lives her quiet kindness has touched – not just her family and few close friends, but the neighbors, the Hummels (of course), the local tradespeople she interacts with, and the children she sews gifts for who write her letters of gratitude. Then there’s the last passage written from her viewpoint before her death, where she finds Jo’s poem that describes what a positive influence her memory will always be, and realizes that her short, quiet life hasn’t been the waste she thought it was. How anyone can read that passage and still come away viewing her life as meaningless is beyond me.

“She needs to die because she symbolizes a weak, outdated model of femininity.”

SparkNotes takes this interpretation of Beth and it annoys me to think of how many young readers that study guide has probably taught to view her this way. No matter how feisty and unconventional Louisa May Alcott was, and no mater how much she personally rebelled against passive, domestic femininity, would she really have portrayed her beloved sister Lizzie as “needing to die” because she was “too weak to survive in the modern world”? Would she really have turned Lizzie’s tragic death into a symbol of a toxic old archetype’s welcome death? But even if Beth were a purely fictional character and not based on the author’s sister, within the text she’s much too beloved and too positive an influence on everyone around her for this interpretation to feel right. This seems less like a valid reading of her character and more like wishful thinking on the part of some feminist scholars.

“She's a symbol of pure goodness who needs to die because she’s Too Good For This Sinful Earth™.”

Enough with the reasons why Beth “needs to die”! At least this one isn’t insulting. But I don’t think it’s really supported by the text either. If she were a symbol of goodness too pure for this world, then she wouldn’t forget to feed her pet bird for a week and lose him to starvation. She wouldn’t get snappish when she’s bored, even if she does only vent her frustration on her doll. She wouldn’t struggle with social anxiety, or dislike washing dishes, or be explicitly described as “not an angel” by the narrator because she can’t help but long for a better piano than the one she has. Now of course those flaws (except for accidentally letting her bird die) are minute compared to her sisters’. It’s fair to say that only “lip service” is paid to Beth’s humanity in an otherwise angelic portrayal. But it seems clear that Alcott did try to make her more human than other saintly, doomed young girls from the literature of her day: she’s certainly much more real than little Eva from Uncle Tom’s Cabin, for example.

“She’s destroyed by the oppressive model of femininity she adheres to.”

This argument holds that because Beth’s selfless care for others causes her illness, her story’s purpose is to condemn the expectation that women toil endlessly to serve others. But if Alcott meant to convey that message, I’d think she would have had Beth get sick by doing some unnecessary selfless deed. Helping a desperately poor, single immigrant mother take care of her sick children isn’t unnecessary. That’s not the kind of selflessness to file under “things feminists should rebel against.”

“She’s a symbol of ideal 19th century femininity, whom all three of her sisters – and implicitly all young female readers – are portrayed as needing to learn to be like.”

Whether people take this view positively (e.g. 19th and early 20th century parents who held up Beth as the model of sweet docility they wanted from their daughters) or negatively (e.g. feminists who can’t forgive Alcott for “remaking Jo in Beth’s image” by the end), I honestly think they’re misreading the book. I’ve already outlined the ways in which Beth struggles and grows just like her sisters do. If any character is portrayed as the ideal woman whom our young heroines all need to learn to be like, it’s not Beth, it’s Marmee. She combines aspects of all her daughters’ best selves (Meg and Beth’s nurturing, Jo’s strong will and Amy’s dignity) and she’s their chief source of wise advice and moral support. Yet none of her daughters become exactly like her either. They all maintain their distinct personalties, even as they grow. Admittedly, Beth’s sisters do sometimes put her on a pedestal as the person they should emulate – i.e. Amy during Beth’s first illness and Jo in the months directly after her death. But in both of those cases, their grief-inspired efforts are short-lived and they eventually go back to their natural boldness and ambitions. They just combine them with more of Beth’s kindness and unselfishness than before.

“She wills her own death.”

Of all these interpretations, this one is possibly the most blatantly contradicted by the text. Just because Beth’s fatal illness is vague and undefined beyond “she never recovered her strength after her scarlet fever” doesn’t mean it's caused by a lack of “will to live”; just because she interprets her lack of future plans or desire to leave home to mean that she’s “not meant to live long” doesn’t mean she’s so afraid to grow up that she wants to die. It’s made very clear that Beth wants to get well. Even though she tries to hide her deep depression from her family and face death willingly, she’s still distraught to have her happy life cut short.

I’ll admit that I’m probably biased, because as as a person on the autism spectrum who’s also struggled with social anxiety and led an introverted, home-based life, I personally relate to Beth. If I didn’t find her relatable, these interpretations would probably annoy me less. But I still think they’re based on a shallow overview of Beth’s character, combined with disdain for girls who don’t fit either the tomboyish “Jo” model or the sparkling “Amy” model of lively, outgoing young womanhood, rather than a close reading of the book.

#little women #beth march #meta #literary criticism

[asktheheirofslytherin]

My Lord,

I come seeking advice concerning my Parents.

My Father is mad at my sister and me for our shared Gift saying he isn't worth anything in our eyes because it was relatively cheap while our mother got something a bit more pricey. It was however a shared gift. It was meant to be for each object to be for both of them.

Because of this my father didn't "sleep well" and for that reason doesn't join us in visiting our relatives (his sister, her husband, their children).

This made my Mother upset that everyone is "doing their own thing". Last night they went to a gathering with their friends and me and my sister didn't join on account of feeling unwell (my sister from her vaccine, me from a bad day with social anxiety). We also didn't have shared breakfast today (what we almost never do simply because of our timetables) which upset her more.

She is mad at us for not telling her enough we love her and spending time with her. And while I understand her troubles and sadness concerning this, she also ignores that I have mental health issues that make some days really hard for me and unable and exhausting to spend time with people.

Do you have any advice for me to placate my father that he is valued and that we love our mother even if we don't always spend time with her?

(Also: Merry Christmas)

Ah. My apologies that you are navigating this familial drama. Still, this is somewhat (actually much, much) easier than whatever is happening between Bella, Rod, Lucius, and Narcissa in the next room. There is a lot of shouting. I am steering clear of it.

On to you.

I remember when Delphini was small. She was enamored by Bella, followed her around, always wanted to snuggle with her mama. When she went off to Hogwarts, Bella was distraught, but privately, knowing it was a part of growing up. Still, they had the summers.

Then, the summer Delphini was fifteen, she spent far more time with her friends than with Bella. Bella was hurt, distressed. She talked to me often about how affectionate Delphini was when she was younger, how she had lost her little girl, how Delphini now is defiant, is resistant. She claimed Delphini did not love her as much.

This was nonsense, of course: Delphini has always idolized her mother, will always love her mother dearly. But she was getting older, thinking for herself, spreading her wings. This came as a shock to Bella, who longed for "mother daughter" time as it had been when the girl was small. Narcissa went through the same with Draco, indeed, I have observed this as a common phenomenon between parents and their young adult/teenage children. They have to relearn the relationship: the shift from the caregiver and child dynamic to that of mentor and mentee, which moves, eventually, to friendship.

Parents, lacking the snuggles and constant professions of love from their small children, search for other markers to validate the familial bonds. Sometimes parents can then pick apart every action to decipher some "deeper meaning" when there is none. This causes confusion in the child.

I do not know your parents, or what they value most. But it seems your mother values time. This can be easily remedied without draining you too much. Perhaps you and your sister can propose to spend an afternoon with her, once a month. You can go to lunch, do an activity you both enjoy - a hike, a sport, a film. Perhaps if she wants to spend one on one time with you, your sister can commit to a day and you can commit to a different day. Depending on your relationship with your mother, it may be awkward at first, but as routine sets in, conversation will flow easier, and you will come to understand one another as individuals easier. To this day, Delphi and Bella look forward to gossiping over a mug of tea twice a month at their favorite place on Diagon Alley.

As for your Father, I am not entirely sure what he wants. Expecting an expensive gift from two young daughters who are likely both still students seems odd and misguided. Perhaps that is merely how he interprets affection - could the two of you can also spend a day with him? Perhaps attending a quiddich game, or a musical concert, or if you are incapable of crowded spaces, perhaps the three of you can cook a meal together or something quiet - whatever, again, your shared interests are. Delphi and I spend time together through dueling. It is, dare I say, great fun.

But something does tell me the gift is not truly what matters - and words of affirmation - however well intentioned and truthful - do tend to ring hollow when the person remains feeling disconnected.

I do hope this helps.

Best of Luck,

-Lord Voldemort

#voldemort #parents #relationships #family dynamics #children #teenagers #growing up #time #its tricky balancing your growing freedom #with family time #and your obligations #and your mental health #and i hope it works out so everyone feels loved and included #and when everyone feels loved and included #then you might find it is easier to communicate your needs as well! #good luck! #prescheduled volding

[sepublic]

Analyzing Ordinary

I notice how she looks at me

But I pretend that I don’t see

It’s easier if I let the tension subside

           We’ve got Luz being willfully ignorant of Amity’s longing looks, no doubt because she doesn’t want to get her hopes up, as if Amity would be interested in someone like HER, because Luz still has her issues of self-loathing, of inadequacy… And combined with how much she thinks the world of her friends, she probably sees all of them as being too good for her! Not to mention letting the tension subside could allude to the idea of Luz letting Amity confront her feelings at her own pace, not to mention any reservations about falling in love because she doesn’t want Amity to reciprocate and get in trouble with her parents for it…

I’ve seen it in the books I read

A magic that you cannot see

There’s no limitations

They wear it with pride

But the characters I read never act or look like me

I can’t depend on them to lead me through the right door

           Luz has read about it in The Good Witch Azura, not just the idea of being in love, but no doubt a brave and defiant love against what others have to say, and against one’s self-doubts! But Luz not only doesn’t think of herself as being as cool or confident as Azura… But she also knows from firsthand experience that she can’t project her book’s fantasies onto real life, that it’s gotten her into trouble in the past and almost jeopardized relationships!

          Luz is afraid that maybe she’s just projecting her books onto her relationship with Amity, imagining romance where there isn’t, and is thus setting herself up for disappointment and possibly making Amity uncomfortable… And even if she SHOULD follow the books’ advice this one time, is Luz good enough to be like Azura, when she knows that in the end she isn’t? Not to mention ‘door’ could be a reference to the portal back home, and Luz feels like if she gets caught up in fantasy and/or following romance as the Azura books guide her to, she won’t ever go back to her ‘rightful place’ in the human world!

And what’s the point of falling when I know I’m only stalling

Cause I have to go back home

Where I’m just one in the herd

Tripping over my words

Trying hard to go with the grain

Keeping the quirks in my brain

           There’s the obvious allusion of Luz being resigned to the idea of going back to the human world, because as of now she hasn’t yet aired the idea of simply… staying behind in the Boiling Isles, because she feels beholden to her mother Camila, about whether or not she’d approve, not wanting to reject Camila –especially if Camila makes Luz choose- etc. Not to mention, there’s a pretty obvious reference to Luz being neurodivergent, but at the same time…

           I feel this could ALSO apply to ideas of classism, and the Blight Parents’ elitist attitudes! How Luz is probably telling herself that she isn’t good enough for someone of such higher social standing as Amity, someone who was born above her, has worked harder and has ‘proper’ magic… Luz knows her ‘real family’ is either with Camila, or with Eda and the others; It’s not amongst the upper echelons of the Boiling Isles hierarchy, where Amity lives. Luz doesn’t see herself as fitting in with Amity, and she doesn’t want to jeopardize Amity’s life by having the girl fall in love with a ‘commoner’ like her… Especially since Amity is so much more talented, right?

          Plus, Amity is aiming to join the Emperor’s Coven, while Luz is actively defying Belos and even fought and wounded him! What if they end up on opposite sides of this conflict, with opposing ideals and beliefs…? Luz doesn’t believe in the Coven System, so why fall for someone who’s going to help enforce it? Those are Amity’s beliefs, not her own… Luz has to stick up for what she knows and believes in, especially after what she and her friends have been through! Not that Amity can be personally blamed for choosing the Emperor’s Coven, but at the same time…

I’m on the brink of discovery I think

But what if I’m dreaming

That’s what it seems like

           There’s Luz, discovering her own self-worth, that she’s a lovable person… Discovering actual romantic love with someone she knows, discovering what Amity truly feels like deep down… But on the other hand, maybe she’s just projecting again, or being too wishful? Maybe it’s just like Adegast’s illusions.

Cause this girl thinks I’m part of her world

And that new territory’s scary

If I turn a handle

Am I asking for a scandal?

Should I try to be ordinary?

           ‘World’ could refer to the Boiling Isles, but it could also refer to Amity’s life in general and her social circles, etc. How Amity thinks Luz really is worth it and good enough for her, risking what her parents have to say! And sometimes Luz isn’t sure if she belongs in either the human world OR the Demon Realm… The idea of being in a romantic relationship is new and unusual to Luz, as is the idea of exploring a crush that could be reciprocated, but also rejected!

          Luz is also worried of the ‘scandal’ that will be caused, not just for the potential rift and embarrassment that will ensue if she’s wrong, but again, because she doesn’t want Amity to get in trouble with her parents for falling in love with a ‘lowly human’, a sentiment Luz may secretly, at least partially, agree with. So, should Luz try to be ‘ordinary’, stick with her own ‘level’ of people? Stop trying to project and fantasize and be realistic about the situation?

          Not to mention, Amity aims to be a part of the Emperor’s Coven Luz is so against… What if when trying to be with Amity and be good enough for her, Luz gets wrapped up in the Coven System, and falls for its propaganda and elitist ideals? She doesn’t like the Emperor’s Coven and doesn’t want to join it to be with Amity… Can Luz still love Amity while still being so distinctly her own, separate person from everything else that the Blight girl is and aims to be?

          And of course, handle… The ‘handle’ to a door, perhaps the portal leading to the demon realm? If Luz continues to stay in the Demon Realm, is she just asking for trouble? If she heads back to the human world, does she end up crushing Amity’s heart? And perhaps the ‘door’ isn’t referring to the portal, but simply the door to Amity’s own world in the Blight Manor.

mmBAAAAAAAAH!

           Classic Luz noise.

I’ve always been a little odd

The only pea inside the pod

That’s not an expression I’m guessin’

Oh well

           We have Luz not fitting in, not just back home, but also in the Boiling Isles as a human who can’t perform magic the conventional way, as an outsider to the Coven System, AND Luz also not being of the ‘upper caste’ that the Blights belong to. Only pea, only human, only child, etc. Luz is making up words and expressions, she’s always had a unique way of expressing herself, and if the current ways don’t do a sufficient job of capturing herself, then Luz will MAKE her own method of properly expressing who she is! Just as she found a way to do Magic without bile!

See that’s exactly what I mean!

I’m just as awkward as I seem!

Plus she makes me nervous

I hope she can’t tell

           Again, Luz’s self-loathing is coming back into play, she’s good at hiding her own insecurities at times, but in the end, while she’s learned and grown so much… Sometimes, the trauma of years of isolation still comes back to bite her. Not to mention, Luz remembering that she doesn’t fit in with Amity’s ‘people’, getting mad at herself for not living up to a certain standard imposed by either society or herself for her friends… Etc. Then we have Luz being nervous about all of the other stuff I’ve mentioned beforehand, and she doesn’t want Amity to notice, not just because having your feelings known is mortifying, but she also needs to be the girl’s ‘fearless champion’!

           Not to mention the allusions to Adventures in the Elements and how Luz acted then… Luz is nervous about messing up when she really DOES want another friend, romantic or otherwise! To Luz, she’s already messed up and hurt Amity’s feelings before, and after Amity gave her another chance when she didn’t have to, Luz doesn’t want to appear weak or make Amity doubt in her decision… She wants to validate Amity’s trust by being worthy of her love! Like, she knows the girl already had self-doubt issues already. This is the closest thing she has to a fresh start since the Abomination Incident and Luz wants it to be GOOD.

What is it she sees in this cluster clump of me

Or could it maybe be I’m going crazy?

           Once more we have Luz defaulting back to seeing herself as a freak and not being good enough for Amity, especially after all of the times Luz has blamed herself for hurting Amity’s feelings! She doesn’t want to hurt Amity, and that’s even assuming Amity is actually interested in her at all to begin with!

And hey who am I kidding?

This isn’t some sweet beginning

Just a detour to the end!

           Once more, we have Luz remembering she needs to go back to the human world/her place in society. None of this is permanent, she has other places she ‘belongs’ to, and it’s certainly not by Amity’s side, even if Amity is always welcome around her… This as far as Luz’s relationship with Amity will go, especially given what the Blight Parents have to say!

[Repeat]

Do I rewind? Induce amnesia?

Pretend I didn’t see her?

Succumb to stupid fear?

           We’ve got the obvious callback to Little Miss Perfect, which really ties up how Luz and Amity are two sides of the same coin, but are ALSO struggling with the same issues with coming forward, because they don’t see themselves as good enough for the other, wonder what the other sees in them, if they’re just delusional and/or projecting, not to mention their different places in society and how they’ll both go towards different directions… And it’s silly, these girls are afraid of the same thing and it just goes to show that they really need to believe in themselves more! But it’s also sad, because again, self-loathing. Then we have ‘stupid fear’, which could be a callback to Grometheus, with Luz not facing the challenge of being frank to Camila about where she truly feels at home, ergo she decides to instead just go along with what Camila says, rather than face her fears!

Or just believe in my heart?

Why play a part?

Why follow the herd?

Why not trust in my words?

Don’t wanna go with the grain!

Why try to make myself plain!

I’m on the brink of rediscovery I think!

So what if I’m dreaming?

I like the scene that I’m in!

           Finally, we have Luz practicing self-love and belief in herself! Why bother playing a part, in either the human world or the Coven System (especially since she already attacked Belos)?! She’s defying her previous doubts about where she ‘really’ belongs, because Luz belongs with those she loves and vice-versa, and no social class will stand in the way of that! And if Luz can trust in her words to cheer up and inspire others, if they can trust in what Luz has to say… Maybe she can finally take her own advice to heart for herself?

           So why bother? Why bother trying to stick to her place in society, why not stand out and reach a hand to where Amity is, not just to be with her, but to ALSO be a powerful Witch in her own right! Luz is rediscovering who she is, her placement in this world, her relationship back home and with her mother, her feelings towards Amity and vice-versa, magic in general… There’s so much more to do and explore, why go back on that now? She’s always been a curious soul!

           And so what if Luz is dreaming? Even if one needs to be wary of confusing dreams with reality, it’s important to still have SOME fantasies, that sometimes it’s not about being realistic or being pragmatic, or doing the ‘useful’ thing, it’s about pursuing who you want to be and being happy with it! That’s what Eda taught her, and we see how unhappy Willow was when trying to be in the Abomination Track with its ‘more opportunities’.

          Not to mention, this line could also be in defiance to how the Reality Check summer camp and others before have accused Luz of being delusional, of no doubt being too much in her head and hyper-fixations… But what’s wrong with that, really? What’s wrong with being neurodivergent, and passionate into one’s interests? Luz likes the Boiling Isles, she likes her friendship with Amity, she likes who she is and she doesn’t care what others have to say! If she can defy Belos, she can defy the Blight Parents!

And this girl is a part of this world

The thought of being normal’s far more scary

I’ll be brave and I’ll be kind

I’ll make a choice and change my mind

I will mess up all the time

They’ll say I’m weird but I’ll be fine

I’ll be anything but ordinary!

           Once more, Luz sees Amity is not just a part of the Boiling Isles, but a part of the found family she feels happy and accepted in! After seeing what conformity has done to others, after witnessing what it was like back home, the idea of losing all that is too much for Luz! Luz will be brave, not just for others but for herself, she’ll be her OWN fearless champion!

          She’ll make a decision and change her mind on herself as a lowly person who isn’t worth it, as someone who needs to go back to the human world… Plus, Amity’s ‘world’ could also be her place with the Blight Parents and the Emperor’s Coven, which Luz KNOWS is toxic for her, and she’s seen what it does to others- So if she’s so against the system for this, why not go in and try to save Amity from it as well?

          Amity being brainwashed like your typical EC witch is far scarier than any pain of rejection that Luz may have; She needs to do this for Amity, too! Being in subservience to her parents and/or Belos is NOT something Amity deserves, and as her fearless champion, Luz will protect Amity!

           And Luz knows she’ll make mistakes. She knows she’ll ‘mess up’ in the sense that she’s neurodivergent, that she won’t be doing things the proper way for either world she’s a part of… That things will be messy, that she’ll do the ‘impractical’ thing and go by her emotions, instead of just being ‘smart’ and keeping her head down, and not defying the natural order or whatever.

           She’ll make mistakes, and that’s okay, Luz isn’t a terrible person just because she isn’t perfect, that yes she HAS hurt Amity in the past, but that doesn’t mean she can’t make a change, especially not when she’s already done so much for Amity otherwise, especially not when even someone like Lilith can begin making amends! Not to mention, mistakes are an outlet for learning… Luz is learning not to be overly-critical of herself, as she was no doubt taught by a school system that punished her neurodivergence.

           Luz knows that she’ll never be ‘perfect’, that even if she does improve herself, she’ll still screw up here or there in her relationships and whatnot… But if she can be forgiving of the mistakes of others, why not her own? Especially when others feel the same! And others may say she’s weird, but you know what? Considering others’ ideas of what conformity means, maybe that’s a good thing!

          And Luz has always known that her rightful place wasn’t with ‘the herd’, but with her own weird, outcast group of weirdoes! It’s who she really is, and being weird is Luz embracing herself and her identity! Quite frankly… She’ll be anything but ordinary, because whatever she is, whatever the potential she has, and there’s SO MUCH of it…

          It’s definitely not going to be the person she used to be, or who others wanted to be! And even if Amity doesn’t reciprocate her romantic feelings, well. Luz still learned to defy a ‘natural order’ in the end, as she always will! She’ll still be friends with Amity. And she’ll still be someone who can believe in herself, so why not? Why NOT give it a try?

#the owl house #owl house #lumity #the owl house ordinary #the owl house luz #luz noceda #the owl house amity #amity blight #little miss perfect #joriah kwame

[know-the-way]

I know it’s really stupid of me but I was kind of hoping for a redemption arc for Faustus. 😅😢

It’s not stupid, not at all! It’s natural to want to see the best in people, particularly when you believe they can be better than what they are now, so it’s completely understandable.

And, ya know, if the show gets picked up - he may have one yet still, we don’t know!

To me, this season really highlighted what the purpose of Faustus’ character is supposed to be, imo. Thinking of episode 4, we’re shown three different levels of corruption through three different characters.

The first is Harvey. Pure, sweet, golden boy Harvey is revealed to have some deep-seeded hatred of witches. Does he have any reason to hate witches? Well, let’s check - he lost a brother, got manipulated, controlled, and lied to by his first love, and has been in an endless cycle of extreme danger for the past year of his life. I think it’s fair to say we all understand that prejudice is not okay, but is it equally understandable why Harvey has some hang-ups about magic and witches? I personally think it is. (Not to the point of joining a literal witch hunt or angrily accusing your distressed best friend of killing your dad at her 17th birthday party 🙃, but understandable nonetheless.)

I personally think the intention with Harvey’s character being a cadet in Blackwood’s army was to demonstrate how, even when we believe someone to be morally good and just, they can become someone else when they endure pain and that pain is never properly addressed.

Did Sabrina apologize to Harvey for everything that happened between them? Yes. But did she repeat the same troublesome behaviors in different ways after that? Also yes. She didn’t demonstrate change in her actions, and a loootttt more happened with Harvey and the witch world in a negative way beyond his relationship with Sabrina, so the mistrust he feels isn’t entirely unjustified.

Then - “oh wow, oh my God, my second love has also hid being a witch from me, can I catch a fucking break here? Why should I ever trust another witch in my life?”

Answer: because they are humans, none being wholly good or bad, and they love you.

Roz talks to Harvey, tells him she believes he’s good, and demonstrably proves her own “goodness” by sacrificing herself to save others at Dr. C’s. Roz shows Harvey that she means what she says and her feelings for him are real - that she is a scared, broken human like him, just trying to do her best with what life has given her. Hence, when the moment of truth comes - Harvey remembers his humanity and proves his own “goodness” by saving her. But if Roz had never spoken to him, never acknowledged what he’d been through and that his feelings were valid... if no one had ever truly cared about his pain? It seems apparent that Harvey would have continued down a very dark path.

Which brings us to...

Mary. Mary has been literally murdered, had her identity hijacked by a demoness, her fiancé is dead, she doesn’t remember several months of her life, and her previous favorite student is a witch who has seemingly performed magic more than once on her.

Mary has every right to fear witches at this point. She has had zero trustworthy interactions with the witch world and from her perspective - her entire life has been stolen and no one cares. No one checks in on Mary, no one validates her pain, and as a result - no one in the witch world seems to have any compassion, humanity, or kindness in them. Enter the Pilgrims of the Night, who recognize her pain and fear without even knowing her, acknowledge it, and offer her solace in their congregation on the basis that her experience with witches is shared by the Reverend Lovecraft and his flock.

They prove themselves to her when the advice the Reverend/Faustus gives her (“let the dark in”) saves her life. My God, someone finally seems to care if she lives or dies!

People who care about others are good, so the church and the reverend’s mission must be good, too. Therefore, she is absolutely invested in whatever is asked of her and will blindly follow their lead in order to protect others from experiencing what she has. To me, Mary in the perverted universe represented the crossroads of corruption - where you truly believe what you’re doing is the right thing, even if it hurts others because those “others” have hurt you... and they will surely hurt again if you don’t stop them.

However, I think if Mary was finally told the truth - the full truth - and Lilith herself apologized for being the first piece in the puzzle... along with all the other witches... AND they showed that they actually cared about her well-being... Mary could find her way back through forgiveness. Or, at the very least, she could understand and process everything so that she could find a way to heal that doesn’t involve persecuting others.

And now, there’s Faustus. We aren’t entirely clear on Faustus’ history altogether, but we do know he’s had many experiences of being slighted by the churches of darkness (despite following the rules to a T).

He was rebuked by Edward for wanting to marry Zelda after mentoring him for who knows how many years, lost the office of high priest to him, and when he finally gets the title - here comes Edward’s self-righteous brat to fuck him over again. There he is trying to carry out the Dark Lord’s request to get Sabrina to sign her name in the Book of the Beast, even though she insults their doctrines and faith at every turn, and the coven and academy he’s had working like a well-oiled machine for the past 16 years is being slowly ripped apart. Why is the Dark Lord allowing this? Why is he having to endure a meddlesome child’s antics? Why is he not being rewarded for doing exactly as he’s been asked and returning the Church of Night to stability after Edward nearly destroyed it altogether? Like hello Dark Lord, can you throw me a fucking bone here?

Small victories - he finally secures Zelda’s hand in marriage and an audience with the anti-pope. This is what his life should’ve looked like two centuries ago, but no matter. He’s correcting it all now and by Satan, nothing is going to stop him this time.

But then...

Oh cool, Sabrina is here to intervene again and has presented the text of his old rival for consideration along with his (clearly superior) manifesto. What’s that, you say? Oh, she’s also gonna crash my wedding, accuse me of murder, and spread claims about my manifesto without having even read it? Wow, ahaha, sounds hilarious... except why am I not laughing?

He arrives in Rome and gets an inkling that the Dark Lord may finally be taking action about this heretical little monster because he’s offered the title of anti-pope by the unholy high council themselves. Finally, some appreciation! He just needs to hang on a little longer, eliminate these small meddlesome threats, and soon he will reside over a peaceful kingdom far removed from anymore mortal nonsense.

Oh, for fuck’s sake, what do you mean Sabrina convinces the council he’s unfit to be anti-pope? This is bullshit, man! You know what? Fuck this place, I’m gonna make my own damn church and ensure no other headstrong witches like Sabrina Buzzkill Spellman can ruin it. That’ll finally return things to ord- MY WIFE KEPT MY OWN CHILD A SECRET FROM ME?! WHAT THE FUCK?! Alright, that’s it, The Spellmans are clearly here to poison others (ironic foreshadowing) - time to wash my hands of them completely, I am so over thi- what’s that? The Dark Lord’s here? GOOD. About time this asshole showed up to set people straight and remind them that the values of his unholy church, which Faustus has exemplified perfectly, must be respected.

You mean for me to bow down to whom now? The halfbreed brat who has been directly and willfully wreaking havoc on the congregation he’s patiently and painstakingly lead back to greatness? Are you fucking serious, m8? No. Absolutely not. No. I’m getting out of here, and since I won’t have the little twat poison anyone else, I will literally poison them instead. Be free, sheep!

It’s up until this point that I believe Faustus was still mostly at the crossroads stage, same as Mary. He believed everything he was doing was the right thing, based on the teachings from the religion he devoted his entire life to, and that he’d be rewarded for serving the Dark Lord so faithfully - until the Dark Lord proved several times in succession that his religion was all a lie. That three+ centuries worth of groveling and abiding and waiting has meant absolutely nothing.

So now we have the Eldritch terrors. Beings more powerful than the oldest gods. He spends 15 years isolated in a time bubble purifying himself, devoting everything to them, and won’t it be so glorious when they welcome him into his ranks? He’s set them free now, after all, they owe it to him.

But doing the same action over and over and expecting a different result is what? The definition of insanity, friends. Of course the Eldritch terrors reject him, too... of course Sabrina gains their attention and veneration instead... of course he should have tried to seize their power for himself a long time ago... so, fuck it all, he’ll do that now. There is no right and wrong, there is no observed justice - if there was, he would have been rightfully recognized for all the time, effort, and pain he’s endured only to receive nothing in return.* No one ever acknowledged his pain... no one ever even considered it. Over time, that takes its toll.

(*Clearly, I mean this to be from Faustus’ perspective and not my own.)

Of course, he has inflicted more than his fair share of pain himself and I am of the personal belief he needed to pay for that, but... equally imagine being hurt over and over and watching those who did it walk away, not only without reprimand, but with the belief that they were right and just to do it? Could it slowly drain on one’s soul to watch the rules apply to some and not others? Debatable, I suppose, but I personally think yes.

So... I say all of this only to point out that there is still potential to acknowledge his pain. And thus, there is imo still potential to understand, communicate properly (I am very interested in any conversations he and Sabrina may have had during their training - I know he said she took a vow of silence, but clearly some talking occurred for Sabrina to learn so much about the void from him), grow, and finally - for him to be given the chance to repair everything he had a hand in breaking. It wouldn’t be an easy or painless task to get to that point, and no one would be faulted for not trusting him to do so, but I think there is potential for it. If they get picked up and they want to finally allow the characters some time to reflect and process shit, they could include Faustus in that.

#faustus blackwood #mary wardwell #harvey kinkle #caos #caos spoilers

[cursedcleopatra]

Can I ask you for advice on something really personal to me? I don’t really feel that comfortable talking about it with friends bc I just know they won’t know where I’m coming from tbh.

2 years ago my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer...I was shocked and scared of course and had no idea what to expect. During this time I started a new job which I worked 12 hours every day and barely saw my mom. Even so, my relationship with her has almost been non existent most of my life so it confused me so much bc although I was so scared and prayed for her health and recovery there was never a bond or closeness between us for me to really know how to be there for her or help. I’m Asian American and in most cases there really isn’t a family bond or love/affection in Asian households. It was very cold in my family environment, my dad is physically violent and an angry bastard whose told me to die on various occasions. For my whole life I rarely saw my mom, she was a great mother in terms of providing us with food and buying clothing but not much else as far as motherly love and warmth. I truly can’t remember any conversation where she’s not asking me about work/school/finances. I know she did the best of what she could. I used to be very angry bc she didn’t protect me from my dads abuse and couldn’t show me the love I desperately needed. Because of this and our lack of a bond I felt so lost when she was diagnosed, bc of that and my working so much I felt like I failed as a daughter. I didn’t know how to be compassionate bc I was still healing my own childhood traumas. I felt guilty bc I feel like I had a duty to take care of her or show feeling but the way I was raised and bc I had no initial bond w her in the first place it was so hard to suddenly conjure up some kind of emotion when nothing was ever there regardless of her sickness or not. That’s why I felt so guilty bc I didn’t know how to help. Is this normal? Am I a shit person for not knowing how? Thankfully she’s recovered from chemo and is now healthy, I just want to know how I can stop being stuck in my mindset of resentment and anger. I feel so ungrateful bc some people have lost loved ones due to cancer and my mom is still here yet I feel still as distant as ever. She works from 9am til 8pm everyday at a nail store. It’s always been like that, even before the sickness since I was in middle school. I have no idea where I can even find time to bond with her or mend our relationship. It’s hard bc I never had a relationship with my dad so not having my mom hurts more. I just feel so lost and alone. It seems like a waste of time, Asian American families think showing emotion is weak and I know she won’t see eye to eye. Hard to fix a relationship that was never even there in the first place.

Wow, it feels like I’m watching myself in this, anon. The same exact situation happened to me, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer 2 years ago as well and we never had a relationship, she’s actually very abusive, and I went through the same exact feelings you’re describing. I completely understand where you’re coming from, and yes, it’s normal and you’re not alone. You’re absolutely not a shit person, in my culture as well it’s considered weak for a parent to be gentle and caring to their child. This naturally creates a lot of resentment and regret, and I know how hard it is to come to terms with all that unresolved anger and feelings of abandonment, especially when the parent would never take your feelings seriously. Please don’t blame yourself for feeling this way, I remember going through that and it made me absolutely miserable too. Wanting your mother’s affection is a deeply human thing, and being deprived of it would make anyone react as you are and as I did. I understand part of the guilt comes from the fact that she’s provided for you in other ways, but you can appreciate and be grateful for that and also feel emotionally neglected, those two feelings are both very valid and can coexist with one another. I think both of us deeply understand that this isn’t something that can be solved by talking to the parent, so the only thing I can tell you is how I’ve learned to look at it differently. The way your mom treats you is probably how her mother treated her as well, and she’s going through her own trauma and she’s just living the only way she knows how. None of that is your fault, but similarly it’s not really her fault either. She doesn’t know how to live any other way. The only thing we can hope to do is break the cycle, we may never have that relationship with our mothers but that doesn’t mean we can’t find it in ourselves to have the empathy to forgive them. And yes, it’s extremely hard sometimes and it’s easy to regress, but looking at her as a victim rather than as my abuser has helped me work through the feelings you’re talking about. Please feel free to message me or leave a message in my inbox any time, I’m here for you if you ever need to talk ❤️

[skaylanphear]

None of y’all are actually understanding The Puppeteer 2 (spoilers ahead)

Okay, so it’s been a LONG time since I’ve written any meta on this show. Mostly because a lot of episodes are now focused on things I don’t care so much about, BUT I was rather inspired by Puppeteer 2, especially since SO MANY PEOPLE seem to be missing the entire point of the episode.

Now, I’m not giving the writers of the show a ton of credit--they have their good and bad moments. But given the obvious budget of this episode as well as the sheer amount of dialogue, I think it’s pretty fair to assume at least some thought was put into this episode. 

So, first and foremost, there were a few points made during this episode.

Let’s start with the Wax Museum and why it’s so pertinent to this episode. The Wax Museum is made entirely up of celebrities. Though we have encountered Adrien and his status before, this is one of the most direct ways they could have drawn attention to it. There is a clear line in this episode--Adrien is a celebrity, his friends are not. Yes, the akumas had wax statues, but the victims and their akumas are not the same people, so to say.

So here we have an “honor” that is only ever granted to celebrities (wax figures) and we have Adrien coming in to work on his. But before that, we have a constant back and forth in the car as to why Marinette is even there--is she Adrien’s friend? His lover? Just a fan of wax statues? This is important because it is less a reflection of Adrien and Marinette’s characters as it is Marinette’s own, let’s say, psychological confusion over how she views Adrien. We’ve seen here make stupid, flustered claims about Adrien before, and these conversations are forcing her to face that head on, even if Adrien remains oblivious as always. 

During the conversation up to the top of the building, we are faced with more of this confusion. Namely, Adrien’s interpretation of his relationship with Marinette versus her own. Granted, Nino brings to light a lot of the problems, but he is less the cause so much as the vehicle with which Marinette’s own inability to be honest is being portrayed. Her behavior causes confusion, even if Adrien is unable to fully grasp that (which is all the more part of the problem). Alya, Nino, and Adrien are ALL responding to the issue of Marinette’s feelings in different ways, because THEY are confused as to what she actually wants and what they’re meant to be doing. Marinette says one thing and then backs out a moment later. As someone who recently went through something similar, my initial indecisiveness to admit my feelings to the person I liked caused a lot of back and forth confusion for the people I had told. Marinette’s situation has spiraled FAR beyond that, which is all the more reason we’re getting these vastly different interpretations as far as how her friends are meant to be reacting. The POINT is that her indecisiveness and timidity is confusing and this is becoming a problem. 

The other thing that I think is interesting in the following scene--which will lead me back around to my main point--is the fact that despite having come with Adrien to support him because the wax stuff is going to be long and boring, all his friends abandon him when he’s literally trapped in the vice of “celebrity.” Granted, Nino and Alya leaving is a bit of a device to move the plot forward, but Marinette also leaving kind of wraps the whole thing up in a neat bow. She’s supposed to confess and ultimately can’t. And instead of staying with Adrien as a good friend should despite her inability, she leaves as a flustered mess. 

Adrien is now alone, his hand clamped in a wax trap. In a lot of ways, this is extremely symbolic of his status as a celebrity and his friends not being a part of that. That Marinette left as a flustered mess only makes this worse, especially since she left him in a manner that is very similar to how a flustered fan might react if they become overwelmed. 

This is important because we’re now seeing a very clear implication that though she desires to know Adrien and has done many things to be a good friend to him, Marinette is still haunted by this “idea” of Adrien that she has that isn’t at all factual. And while I don’t think it’s celebrity worship, as some would argue, I do think that the metaphor of celebrity worship in this episode is a very good use of Adrien’s character. We are seeing that Marinette interprets Adrien in a light that is not entirely realistic, which doesn’t help anyone. 

This metaphor is only further expanded after her discussion with Tikki. While Tikki’s advice might seem helpful, what it really does is further support the notion that Marinette’s entire infatuation with Adrien is shadowed by false idealizations. She creates a persona to act as in order to communicate with him. She is literally creating a role for herself that she thinks will allow her to exist in Adrien’s, I guess, “proximity” so as to allow her to “get what she wants,” so to speak. She’s acting--as in, she’s lying. Just as much to herself, I think, as she is Adrien. 

And this whole thing is only made worse by Adrien’s “prank.” He symbolically becomes nothing more than a wax statue during the entire time that Marinette is playing her “role.” She even goes on a tangent about all the great characteristics he has as a statue, highlighting a lot of shallow aspects of why she’s attracted to him. Granted, I think there’s more to it than that (her feelings, I mean), but she’s so confused by the “more” that it’s hardly relevant if she can’t voice her feelings in the first place, beyond how “perfect” she thinks he is. 

Now, this is the “cringe” part of the episode that everyone is complaining about. But to be honest, I really didn’t think it was that bad. It clearly shows Marinette’s idealization of Adrien, as well as the “form” Adrien has within that idealization. That she said all the silly things she did (again, playing her role) and kissed him, while embarrassing, is wholly within her character. Given her tendency to fantasize on extreme levels, I think I’d be more surprised if she didn’t try to kiss Adrien’s wax statue. I get people are annoyed with Marinette constantly being the cause of bad things, or the butt of jokes, etc, but I don’t think that this situation is wholly unfounded given her personality. It was very in character for her to act that way, and I think it made a rather valid point about her feelings for Adrien. After all, she and Adrien may be “friends,” but they’re clearly not close enough for him to feel certain about what she really thinks of him, so she can’t be that close to him, which means there is a bit of shallowness on her side as far as her feelings, even is she would prefer it be different. 

Now, another complaint people have been voicing about the episode is “why can’t Marrinette have a tastefully handled confession like Chat?” And while a lot of you didn’t seem to realize this, the episode actually addresses that.

When Chat Noir flirts with Ladybug, she actually stops fighting to ask him how he so easily is able to express his feelings, because she has such a hard time doing the same thing. He responds with some line about how the people you care about should know how you feel, but the whole point of that episode was to illustrate the differences between Adrien and Marinette, and kind of explain why Marinette’s confession is so long in coming while Chat Noir has confessed, like, two or three times now.

For better or worse, Marinette’s inability to be honest about her feelings for Adrien is a huge conflict surrounding her character and has been from the beginning. Much bigger than Chat’s conflict over his feelings for Ladybug, which tend to be addressed in a more, let’s say, lighthearted manner than Marinette’s feelings for Adrien. Adrien is a very forthcoming person. He likes to think the best in people and is very honest about how he feels with almost anyone. And while I think he should probably re-evaluate the behavior he thinks is acceptable from other people, he mostly deals with any kind of conflict straight out. He doesn’t sit and stew like Marinette does, he doesn’t even waste time thinking about Chloe and Lila. Adrien would much rather think about the good than the bad. In fact, he would much rather ignore the bad (which is probably why he tried confessing so many times--likely hoping for a different outcome. Optimists, amiright?)

Marinette is NOTHING like this. She will sit and stew and plan and make herself anxious and scared and angry over things that would slide off Adrien’s back like water slides off ducks (thank you, Crowley). Marinette confessing is a much bigger roadblock because of this difference in their personalities. And it’s also why she gets all sweet on Chat for his reasoning behind why he can express his feelings so easily, because he makes it sound so simple, which is exactly what Marinette needs. Not overly complicated plans (Nino and Alya) or anything like that. She needs to be able to push back on her anxiety, walk up to Adrien, and just say it (much like how she kissed his cheek in the finale of the last season). No attempts made by her to confess will EVER succeed so long as there is any kind of convoluted plan surrounding it. 

The writers were literally giving the viewers a direct comparison between Adrien and Marinette as far as how they deal with their feelings and y’all missed it because you were too busy being mad. While Adrien overly simplifies situations--which can be both good and bad--Marinette is more likely to overly complicate things--which is also both good and bad. Where Adrien might fail to see how complex a situation is, Marinette will, whereas Adrien is able to make things simpler where Marinette cannot. You even see it in their fighting styles. Adrien ALWAYS goes for the obvious physical attack, while Marinette is the one to strategize. IT HAS BEEN A LITERAL PART OF THEIR PERSONALITIES FROM THE BEGINNING AND YOU ALL MISSED IT!     

The point of this episode was to illustrate Marinette’s issues with her feelings for Adrien, as well as draw comparisons between them so as to better understand why Marinette’s attempts to confess ALWAYS FAIL! 

Until Marinette can pull back enough to see Adrien less as a terrifying mountain to climb and more like a simple set of stairs, she will not be able to reach him. 

And that is the tea. 

#miraculous ladybug #ml #mlb #the puppeteer 2 #meta #me stuff #adrienette

[domreaderrecs]

Oh boy do I have some kink discourse for you. Here’s a wholeass list:

1. A female dominant does not need to be a sadist who is always torturing and abusing their sub. They can be soft and kind and caring.

2. Findom is a valid form of domination and is really a kink, it is not just women faking it to get money.

3. Online domination is possible, although there are more risks involved, it is still a valid form of domination.

4. Submissive black men are allowed to refuse to be called slave and their dom shouldnt be annoyed they can’t used their preferred honorific.

5. Kink and fetishes can be incorporated without the use of the power dynamic found in BDSM.

6. BDSM is still BDSM if the rope is pink and the outfit is white lace instead of red and leather.

7. It should be standard practice for there to be a safe word that means everything is fine so that the Dom can check in on the sub easily without breaking the scene.

8. It is only BDSM when both parties have discussed before hand, otherwise it’s sexual assault (yes that includes Chad who brought out the rope without warning and now Bethany is just going along because she likes him)

9. BDSM has always and will always be driven by the LGBT community.

10. Under 18 year olds do not have a place in the BDSM community. If they wish to learn, then they should do so by finding articles and books, not by asking people involved in the scene.

Yeah that’s about it for now. I’m realizing you probably didn’t want this much but oh well. We’re here now. Let me know what you think!

whewww so much to unpack here lets go its essay time

1. !!!! this is probably one of the most fundamentally misunderstood parts of femdom. it don’t gotta be ball crushing and whipping and calling him a worm all the time, or even at all. this is probably what turns so many women off from trying it or thinking they might be into a more dominant role. gentle femdom is way more palatable for beginners and for me personally, just way more enjoyable (even tho i definitely would wanna make a boy cry from time to time)

2. I used to be one of those people who looked down on findom. I still don’t understand why anyone would be into it tbh but findoms get a lot of shit for no reason... being a sugar baby is so glamorized but if you’re a findom you’re cold, or a bitch, or taking advantage. even though they’re both just people who get money from men who have money to throw at them for sexual favors... but one’s demonized and one’s all the rage... hm i wonder why

3. I have no real/successful experience with this... more on that in number 10

4. 100000%!! the stories i’ve seen from black subs in kink (mostly black women but still) are horrendous. a lot of doms will try to enforce a master/slave relationship, and try to exercise their authority to make subs agree to it. i know it’s a common dynamic, but that shit is wayyyy different to black people... any dom should know that. forcing your sub to do anything is wrong, but especially something so racially, historically, and culturally insensitive. and don’t get me started on the surprise “race play” stories i’ve heard... like i said doing anything without your sub’s consent is wrong but THAT kind of thing requires double consent with a cherry on top. this is part of the reason I’m so scared to enter the kink scene... this shit scares me. thats why the title mistress and master/slave dynamics in general just isn’t for me. it makes me think of my ancestors :/

5. again, 1000% agree. i’ve said this on my blog before, but i’ll say it again. not everything has to be dom/sub stuff. if you wanna peg your bf you don’t have to tie him up and call him names or boss him around, you can just peg him. i feel like ever since FSOG this whole dom/sub thing has grown way out of proportion, but that’s a whole other essay for another day

6. yessss I hate the stereotype of dom outfits as black, latex, leather, way too high to walk in boots... like does it look fire?? yes of course but pink and lace and knee high socks would make a fit that’s just as fire. 

7. this is non-negotiable to me. whenever I hear someone say “I don’t like safe words” or “I/We don’t need a safe word” it’s just a red flag to me. idc what anyone says safe words are mandatory.

8. Yes. I feel like I shouldn’t have to say this but with the rise of the popularity of “rough sex” (again, thanks FSOG) there’s seems to be a rise in people who just assume their partner may be into something, or who just try to experiment on their partner without asking them first. I’ve heard a lot of friends and other girls talk about guys just going straight into choking them, spanking them, and pulling their hair without even asking if they like it (another reason I’m scared to get out there and do stuff, as a person who is very much not a sub or into being treated roughly or tossed around, it’s a big fear of mine). I’ve also seen a lot about girls just randomly trying to finger their boyfriends. If it’s not vanilla, and y’all haven’t discussed it, do not assume it’s on the table. We’ve gotten to a point that kinky stuff is so talked about and normalized (especially with young adults) that people forget it’s actually kinky. 

9. period.

10. okay so story time, around the age of 15/16 is when I started to realize I was into kinky stuff. The preference had kinda always been there, but I couldn’t really place a name to it. I had always felt like an outcast among my peers when it came to the way they would talk about romantic and sexual relationships (I was a year ahead, so all my friends were 1-2 years older than me, so they started to do that stuff earlier than I did) because the things they talked about and liked were way different from the stuff I would think/fantasize about, so I always stayed quiet (teenage girls are very vocal about having choking/daddy kinks but that’s definitely indicative of a much larger problem that i will not get into bc that’s a whole other very very long essay that I will definitely write on here one day but not now). So when I found out what gentle femdom was I felt like I had a community that understood me, and everything just clicked. I would lurk on online communities and I lived for the discourse on there but I could never actively participate because every community had a strict “no minors” policy. They would say exactly what you said, “If minors wish to learn, then they should do so by finding articles and books, not by asking people involved in the scene.” I didn’t want to make anyone catch a case and I didn’t want to get targeted by predators so I tried to follow their advice. i found nothing. There honestly just isn’t that much educational stuff for “kinky teenagers”, or at least none that fit me. There was no femdom oriented stuff. I mean sure there was the standard “consent is important especially in bdsm relationships” but like that didn’t really help me. I had so many questions, that I could never feel comfortable asking my mom or a therapist, and especially not my friends. I didn’t know how to express this part of myself. I couldn’t talk to anyone about it and I couldn’t even watch porn like a normal teenager (we all know the state of femdom porn. its bad) so I was this ball incredible frustration and confusion and i didn’t know what to do with it. So I unfortunately turned to twitter. There I made a little like minded friend. he was also 16 so i thought “this is good, a non adult also kinky teenager who I can relate too. what could go wrong :)”(I’m sure you see where this is going) I was so excited to have a new friend, but ofc, our convos soon took a turn. However, since he was the first person to ever show interest in me, and the only person my age who i could talk to who understood me, i started to catch feelings. But he was a teen just like me, just as horny and confused and sooo immature. He started to pressure me into domming him/becoming his domme, but I refused because I wasn’t ready (i saw on one of those online communities I used to lurk in that its not healthy for your first sexual experience to be bdsm and I took that to heart). he ghosted me. needless to say that “friendship” was toxic. i realized too late that he only saw me as a kink dispenser, and didn’t care about me on a personal level. it also made me realize how not “mature for my age” I was. i say all this to say, NO, teenagers should not be participating in kink. they are not mature enough. however education and resources for them are not where they should be. if we want to discourage them from putting themselves in these situations, we need to better provide them with education and healthy ways to relieve these urges/feelings (i eventually took up writing, it helped me a lot). i feel like had i found a healthier and safer way to express/explore that side of myself, I would’ve never gotten in that situation to begin with. That experience has kinda put me off from dipping my toe into the actual community (well that and the lack of diversity but we’ve already talked about that)

ALSO the amount of very young children i’ve seen in the kink “community” on twitter is alarming... you’re not a little you’re 12

anyways, thanks so much for this essay of an ask and sorry i wrote an essay in response to each one lol but like I said I could discuss kink all day

#thanks anon #thanks shel #more kink discourse #thoughts

[alexannah]

Just Keep Digging PART THREE

Chapter One | Chapter Two | FFnet | AO3

Summary: Lila makes a big mistake when showing off one day to the class. But her mistake may turn out to be not such a bad thing for Marinette and Adrien. From a prompt by @countingdowndays

Author Notes: Okay since this is no longer a one-shot, I discovered (thanks, Keyseeker) that I need to clarify where this fic stands canonically. Most of my fics I actually ignore season three, but obviously I can’t do that entirely here since we’re post-Chameleon.

So … This fic takes place shortly after Chameleon, and obviously we’re now AU because of the reveal, but it takes into account season three up until and including Startrain. (Whether I’ll get as far as events in those episodes actually occurring, I have no idea.) However Kwami Buster onwards is NOT taken into account. So no worries about our heroes having to give up their Miraculouses, or future Hawk Moth, or any Cat Blanc stuff. None of that exists here!

And for the record, I’m a fan of Gabriel and Nathalie and a supporter of the redemption arc. Whether this fic will go there or not, I don’t know. Still improvising here!

Just Keep Digging

By Alexannah

Chapter Three: Just Keep Intimidating

“Do you have any idea how lonely Adrien gets, Mr Agreste?” Marinette blurted out.

Gabriel Agreste blinked at the abrupt change of subject. “I’m sorry?”

“You’d better be. He spends most of his time shut up in this house, not allowed to leave except for school and classes. I get that you want to protect him, but all too often you cross the line between keeping him safe and keeping him a prisoner. He hardly ever complains because he’s used to it, it’s his norm; but that doesn’t mean it’s right or best for him. People need social interaction, sir. He hates being so isolated; you may not mean to, but you hurt him so much by doing that to him.”

“He told you this?”

“He doesn’t have to. We can all see it a mile off. Which makes me wonder why you can’t.” Marinette paused. “No, actually I know why you can’t. Because while you keep him physically close, you keep him emotionally distant. You don’t give him any quality time, or make him feel like he can approach you. I understand that you’re a busy man, but surely you can spare some time to spend with him, instead of always palming him off on your staff. It would make him feel so much better to at least know you’re trying. Instead there’s this massive wall between you and it’s growing bigger every day. And wrapping him in cotton wool isn’t the answer. You know what happens to people when they’re wrapped in too much cotton wool, Mr Agreste? They suffocate.”

There was a long, long silence once she finally stopped talking, wondering if she had completely blown it. Mr Agreste was still staring at her, no recognisable reaction on his face except extreme surprise.

Finally he broke eye contact, removing his glasses and polishing them. “I see you care deeply for my son,” he finally said, quite quietly.

“Yes, I do.”

“Hmm. Most of his fans desire him because he’s handsome and famous.” He replaced his glasses and looked back at Marinette. “But not you.”

“I’d love him just as much if no-one had heard of him and he had a face like a gorilla’s butt.”

Mr Agreste’s mouth twitched. “So I assume your intentions towards him are of the … more long-term variety.”

“The forever kind of long-term,” she agreed. “The ‘till death do us part’ kind of long-term.” For a moment she thought something weird flickered in Mr Agreste’s eyes at the ‘death do us part’ bit, but a second later she was sure she had imagined it. “The ‘married with three kids and a hamster’ kind of long term.”

“I see. And what do you imagine Adrien would be doing, other than helping you look after three kids and a hamster?”

“Whatever makes him happy. Whether that’s modelling, or his music, or tap dancing in the street.” Marinette tried not to giggle as she remembered him actually doing that as Cat Noir. “I’m sure you have your own grand ideas about what Adrien should do with his life, sir, but he’s his own person who deserves to make his own decisions. Even if you think they’re the wrong ones. Maybe I don’t meet your high standards; maybe none of his friends do. But we all love Adrien and want what’s best for him.”

Silence fell for a long moment as he gazed at her thoughtfully. “Tell me, does Adrien share your very specific vision of your future?”

“Well, I don’t know if he wants the same number of kids and a hamster, but I know he wants to spent the future with me. We should probably work out the details after we’ve been a couple for more than a few hours.”

Again, Mr Agreste’s mouth twitched, and Marinette dared wonder if he was actually amused by her words. Whether or not that was a good thing, however, remained to be seen.

“I will allow your relationship with Adrien,” he said finally. “But I have conditions.”

“So do I,” Marinette said before she knew what she was saying.

His eyes widened. “I beg your pardon?”

“I already told you, Mr Agreste, that there are areas of your relationship with Adrien—well, the whole thing, really—that you need to work on.” Marinette folded her arms decisively. “So if you really want him to be happy, then I expect you to be willing to do so.”

She received a speechless gape in return.

“I expect you to choose presents for Adrien yourself and put thought and care into them. I expect you to make it up to him whenever your work gets in the way of spending time with him. I expect you to find time to actually tell him you love him, because to my knowledge he’s never heard that from you. I expect you to consider Adrien’s feelings and consult with him when making decisions for his protection or whatever, and if necessary reach a compromise you’re both happy with. I expect you to be more open to suggestions from other people who care about him on what’s best for him and what he needs to be emotionally healthy. I expect you to try, Mr Agreste. I expect you to want to be a better parent and be willing to learn.”

It was impossible to work out what he was thinking, but for some reason she couldn’t explain, she thought her words might actually be getting through to him.

“And this isn’t just about Adrien,” Marinette continued boldly. “Assuming that our future progresses as we both hope it does, then one day I guess I’ll be your daughter-in-law.” The expression on his face was suddenly beyond laughable. “And I may as well make this clear now so there are no surprises in the future, so you can’t possibly have any reason to withdraw your approval of us later on.”

“I’m listening.”

“I expect you to learn not to be such a control freak, so that when he’s an adult, you don’t make him feel like he has to do everything you want him to rather than what he wants, in order to keep you happy; because that’s not healthy—it’s not healthy now—and you can’t regulate his life decisions forever. I expect by the time he and I are married for you to have let go and let him have his own life. Assuming you take on board everything I’ve said, I’m hopeful the two of you will have a much better relationship by then than you have now; and if, as I think, you really do love him, then I can’t see any reason why you wouldn’t want that.”

“I do love him,” Mr Agreste said quietly.

“Good. So we’re in agreement.”

He still looked a bit stunned, but didn’t disagree.

“I haven’t finished,” Marinette continued. “Our future children.” He raised his eyebrows. “I don’t expect you to be perfect, but I expect you to make an effort. I expect you to actually have a relationship with them, not be this distant figure they hardly ever see and barely know. You will respect that Adrien and I are their parents, and therefore our decisions are the ones that go; and while we’ll be open to advice, at the end of the day we’ll be the ones making the decisions we feel are best for them. You will do your very best to be present at every single special occasion; and I won’t accept any excuses, only the most valid, out-of-your-control reasons. Every Christmas and birthday, every school play and concert, every fencing meet or whatever interests they end up pursuing, regardless of whether they meet your approval or not. You have been absent from the important things in Adrien’s life for way too long and I won’t stand for you treating your grandchildren the same way. I want them to have a grandfather they can actually have a good relationship with, someone they will love and look forward to spending time with. And I know Adrien would want that too.”

Once again, the room was dead silent once she had finished.

“So what were your conditions, Mr Agreste?” Marinette asked, almost sweetly.

He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Er …”

~*~

In the next room, Adrien was trying desperately to resist the temptation to listen at the door. His father and Marinette’s voices were muffled, so he couldn’t work out what they were saying, but they sounded quite heated.

If he were alone, he probably would have listened, but Nathalie was there. While he wasn’t entirely sure she would stop him, he didn’t want her to mention to Gabriel later that he had overheard whatever was going on in there.

“Thanks for letting me tell him myself,” he said finally to break the awkward silence.

Nathalie nodded. “Do you love her, Adrien?”

“Completely and utterly,” he said with no hesitation. He thought about adding “I’d die for her,” but stopped himself just in time, thinking that might not have the right effect.

Her expression softened. “I very much hope she can win your father over.”

“So do I. She’s so wonderful; and if anyone can, she can; but … Father’s so stubborn.”

“He is,” Nathalie agreed. “And overprotective. But he does have a heart, Adrien.”

“He has a funny way of showing it sometimes,” Adrien muttered.

Nathalie sighed. “I know.”

There was an awkward pause.

“So … how did the two of you …?”

Adrien hesitated, quickly sorting through the memories and censoring the superhero identity stuff in favour of a simpler version of the story. Marinette coming to comfort him after what Lila had said, and him realising she felt the same way about him than he did her … yes, that would do.

“Well, it started with us all talking about our favourite movies …”

~*~

Marinette opened the door, and saw Adrien sitting talking with Nathalie, who looked quite angry for some reason. She quickly schooled her expression to be more neutral as she saw her, and stood up. “How did it go?”

“Er … well, he’s happy for us to date.”

Adrien beamed. “He is? Yes! I knew you could win him over, Marinette!”

“You sound quite relieved nevertheless,” she teased, drawing up to him.

“Well … maybe I was a bit worried,” Adrien admitted. “That’s not a reflection on you at all, though.”

“I know. Anyway, it’s all okay. Though he has set some conditions.”

Adrien frowned. “Conditions?”

“Nothing bad. Just, you know, sticking to curfew, bodyguard, stuff like that.”

“That was an awfully long conversation for just going over ground rules,” Nathalie said, in a tone which made Marinette sure she suspected a lot more had been discussed.

“Other subjects may have come up,” she said vaguely.

“Oh? Like what?” Adrien asked.

“Well … er … your dad’s lousy parenting …”

“What?” he gasped, and Nathalie choked.

“You’re the one who told me to be honest!” Marinette said to her.

“Sheesh, Marinette, what did you say to him?”

“Basically, everything I and the rest of your friends have wanted to say to him for the last few months.”

Adrien groaned. “I can hardly believe you’re still breathing! Let alone that he actually approved us dating?”

“Apparently I proved to him that I’m not after you because you’re a famous model.” She kissed his cheek, and he blushed. Aw, she would never get used to that. “And on a completely unrelated note, he’s made a resolution to have dinner with you at least four times a week, let you attend at least one social thing a week (three in the holidays), and he’s coming to see you in the school talent show next Friday.”

And when you turn fifteen, you’re getting a surprise birthday party, she silently added.

Nathalie raised her eyebrows. “Goodness,” she said, sounding very impressed.

“Wow,” Adrien said, sounding just as much so. “Marinette, you do realise that apart from my mom, you and Nathalie are the only two people who have ever been able to get my father to change his mind about something like that?”

“Um … no, I didn’t.” Marinette looked at Nathalie. “Thanks for the tip.”

“You’re welcome. Oh, Adrien, here’s your phone back.” She handed him his phone, then looked between them. “Is Marinette staying for a while, or do you two have other plans?”

“Er, I think it might be a good idea to give Mr Agreste some space from me for the rest of the day.”

“And we do have other plans,” Adrien agreed, taking her hand. “I promised her ice cream at Andre’s.”

“Ice cream?” Nathalie glanced out of the window. “Are you sure? It looks like it’s going to start storming again soon.”

“Oh,” Adrien said, sounding disappointed.

“We could go to my house instead,” Marinette suggested. “Only fair you get to meet my parents now.”

“They’re not going to interrogate me, are they?”

“Not like that. My dad is a very different kind of intimidating.”

Adrien raised his eyebrows. “Er, what kind of intimidating?”

“You’ll see.”

Someone cleared their throat in the doorway, and they all looked over to see Mr Agreste had appeared. “Nathalie, could I have a word?”

Marinette gulped, wondering if this was about Adrien’s birthday present.

“I wonder what that’s about,” Adrien said, frowning slightly after Nathalie had followed her boss from the room.

“Er …” She cast her mind around quickly for a change of subject. “Yeah, um … there’s someone else we need to talk to. Master Fu,” she said in a low voice.

Adrien paused. “Oh. Right. We know our secret identities now … Do you think he’ll be upset?”

“I don’t know, but whatever his reaction, we shouldn’t put it off.” Marinette took out her phone and selected the turtle icon in her contacts.

~*~

“I hear congratulations are in order,” Nathalie said after closing the door behind her.

“They’re dating, not engaged,” Gabriel said quickly, though he couldn’t help silently adding yet. He shook himself and remembered what he had actually intended to talk to her about.

“I think you made the right decision, sir. Marinette seems a sweet girl. And Adrien is clearly absolutely smitten with her.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear it goes both ways. She was very …” Gabriel paused, searching for the right word. “… specific about her feelings for him.”

“Really?”

He knew from her tone that it was not actually a surprise, and wondered what she had said to Marinette before the meeting. “Yes. Very bluntly honest.”

That was putting it mildly. Marinette Dupain-Cheng had let him have it with both barrels. Gabriel thought the last time he had been that intimidated by a teenager, he had been the same age himself. Fortunately he didn’t think he had let it show.

“I see. Good for her.”

“Yes.” He paused. “The thing is, she did bring up something which I should ask you about.”

“Oh?”

“I understand that the present she intended to give to Adrien for his birthday, was somehow mistaken for being from me.” He arched an eyebrow at Nathalie, whose eyes widened.

“Oh. Er … d-did she tell Adrien?”

“No. And she stated she has no plans to do so. Apparently he was delighted to think it was from me, and she doesn’t want to disappoint him.” Gabriel fixed his assistant with a sharp frown. “I don’t suppose you could shed any light on how this misunderstanding occurred, Nathalie?”

She sighed. “On Adrien’s birthday, Marinette dropped off a gift for him, shortly before you … asked if I had got him a present from you. I … didn’t remember you having asked me to before, and … I panicked.”

“You told Adrien that Marinette’s scarf was from me.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Why did you not simply go out and get him something?”

Nathalie fixed Gabriel with a surprisingly hard look. “Because that would have required leaving Adrien to eat lunch alone on his birthday, Mr Agreste. Which I didn’t want to do. Nor did I want to have to tell him that his father had either not got him a present, or asked me to and that I had forgotten. I knew any of the above would hurt him.” Her eyes narrowed slightly. “And as it happened, because of the Bubbler, he had lunch alone on his birthday anyway.”

The accusation was impossible to miss, and a long, very tense silence fell between them.

“I … will not akumatize anyone on Adrien’s birthday again,” Gabriel finally relented.

“Especially not friends of his who only wanted to do something kind for him,” Nathalie added.

“Er … yes. I mean … no, I won’t.”

Her expression softened slightly. “Marinette really got through to you, didn’t she?”

“You put her up to that, didn’t you?”

“All I did was advise her to be honest. The rest was all her.”

“Well, it worked,” Gabriel admitted. “There are some … changes I need to make.”

Nathalie nodded slowly, frowning again. “Talking of honesty … did you by any chance sense any negative emotions from Lila Rossi earlier today?”

Gabriel blinked, completely taken aback. “Yes, actually. She’s been very emotional for most of the day, but you know I’ve been tied up with work I couldn’t delegate. It’s been quite frustrating having to wait; I was planning to seize the opportunity once Marinette had left. How did you know?”

“Adrien told me about something that happened this morning between the two of them. And … well, you’re not going to like it …”

~*~

Lila checked her text again.

We need to talk.

She didn’t know why she had come to the meeting place Adrien had specified. What more did he want to say? Adrien was the forgiving type, but she was certain this was beyond even him.

One little miscalculation, and everything had been ruined. Usually Lila planned her stories with care, but from time to time had simply grabbed an opportunity. And now she’d had the horrible misfortune of picking the wrong person to lie about.

How the hell was I supposed to know she was his mom???

If she transferred to a new school (Lila was already formulating an argument to present to her mother why it was necessary), then she would be more careful. At the very least do an internet search before opening her mouth.

She turned as she heard the car pull up behind her. The back window rolled down, and her eyes widened in surprise as it revealed not Adrien, but his father.

“Get in, Miss Rossi,” Gabriel Agreste said shortly.

She did, hesitating as she realised he was alone in the back. “Where’s Adrien?”

“He did not send you that text. You are not the only one with the ability to deceive.”

A cold chill went down her spine as the car pulled off, and Lila was suddenly very aware of the fact that no-one knew where she was.

“S-sir? What do you want?”

He didn’t look at her, face set in grim determination as he stared straight ahead. “Adrien told Nathalie what you said about his mother.”

Lila had guessed he’d found out, but still felt the blood drain from her face. “Sir, I swear, I never meant—I had no idea he was talking about his mom!”

“That is not the point. Your story could have severely hurt him, and the only reason it didn’t was because he believes something tragic happened to her.” He suddenly fixed Lila with a glare so fierce, she wished he was still looking straight ahead. “I wanted to tell you personally that if you ever do or say anything that could hurt Adrien again, regardless of whether or not you meant it to, you will severely regret it.”

Lila waited for the car to stop, but it didn’t. She glanced at the driver. It wasn’t Adrien’s bodyguard as usual; it was the aforementioned secretary. For some reason this felt foreboding.

“Um … wh-where are we going?”

He did not answer her question. “Miss Rossi, your relationship, in any sense, with my son is over. You are not to go near him again. You are not to talk about him or to him, and the same goes for his friends, because when they are hurt so is he. You are toxic and I will not have your poison harming my family.”

“I understand, Mr Agreste.”

“I’m not sure you do. You have been akumatized … how many times?”

“Er …” Lila said, taken aback at the question.

“Four, as I understand it. And you have a deep hatred of Ladybug which has made you valuable to Hawk Moth.”

“I’m not sure I understand—Wait, how do you know?”

“I am very well informed, Miss Rossi. Especially about the people around my son. I want to make one thing absolutely clear. Should you be akumatized again, no matter what Hawk Moth wants of you, Adrien and his friends are off limits. You cannot use that as an excuse with me.” His eyes sent icy daggers of fear through her. “You will find I can be a much more dangerous enemy than Hawk Moth.”

Before she could register the movement, his hand had crept around her throat and started to squeeze.

Lila choked, struggling to draw breath, and grasped weakly at his strong fingers, trying to pull them off. They were immovable. He wasn’t blocking her airways, but it hurt. She saw Nathalie glance in the mirror but merely look away, showing no sign of mercy.

Mr Agreste finally let go. “Is that absolutely clear?”

“Y-yes, s-sir,” Lila gasped, massaging her throat.

“Now you are going to get out, and you are going to tell your parents about every single lie you have told. If I find you have missed any out, I will tell them myself.”

They stopped, and Lila saw they were outside her home. She had never been so relieved to be able to get out of a car. She would take being grounded for the rest of her life over spending one more second in that man’s company.

“This is your only warning,” Gabriel Agreste said darkly, before closing the door again. The car pulled away.

Lila braced herself, and approached her front door.

~*~

“Don’t dawdle on the way home,” Gabriel said to Nathalie, settling back in his seat, satisfied and in anticipation. “I will not miss this opportunity.”

“Of course, Mr Agreste.”

He could already feel Lila’s anger and frustration, but once her parents found out everything, it was bound to increase. Her next akumatization would be her most powerful form yet.

“Do you think she’s afraid enough to leave Adrien alone?” Nathalie asked, breaking him out of his thoughts. “She might have thought you were bluffing.”

“She didn’t. I can tell.” Gabriel looked back at his assistant. “Do you think it was too big a risk?”

“As long as you left no visible mark on her—”

“I didn’t.” He had been very careful not to.

“—and she’s convinced that you really would hurt her if she hurt Adrien again—”

“Which I will. And she is.”

“—then no. Even if she tries to tell someone you attacked her, no-one is going to believe her now.”

Gabriel nodded. That had been the plan. His Miraculous glowed as Lila’s emotions suddenly spiked. “Faster, Nathalie. I mean … Catalyst.”

To Be Continued …

Author’s Note: Thanks to phantombullets240 for your idea; it’s what turned this into a multi-chapter fic.

I initially drafted the penultimate scene with Gabriel ending his deal with Lila, then remembered it hadn’t happened yet in canon. Which is a shame because it would have been so much more tense. But I’m happy with the rewrite.

Part of the scene between Marinette and Gabriel was inspired by a conversation from Monster In Law, but it’s been years since I’ve seen the film so I’m not sure how close it is to the original.

I have a plan for the next chapter, but action isn’t my strong point, so it might take a little longer than the others to write!

#just keep digging #miraculous ladybug #miraculous lb #miraculoustalesofladybugandcatnoir #mlb #mlb identity reveal #mlb fanfic #mlb fanfiction #miraculous fanfic #miraculous fanfiction #adrienette #miraculous identity reveal #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #lila rossi #gabriel agreste #nathalie sancoeur #hawk moth #catalyst #ladynoir

[quickspinner]

MLValentines2k20 8. Heartbreak

Sorry this is kind of depressing compared to yesterday’s, but thanks for all the love on that one, it made my day. I cheated again, taking something I’d already started and expanding on it for the prompt. I’m scared for Kagami and Luka in S4, ngl. 

It was a beautiful day for a picnic. The weather was perfect, the sun shielded by just enough clouds to keep it from being too hot or too bright. The brightly colored cloths and long buffet tables set out by the catering company were loaded with good food. Kagami and Adrien, wearing their first and second place medals, greeted guests and shook hands with bright but likely fake smiles. 

Luka sat with Marinette at the edge of one of the cloths, two empty plates beside them (real plates, not paper plates, which at least had the advantage of being too heavy to blow away before one of the service people lurking around scooped them up).

Apparently “a casual celebration in the park with just a few friends” was different when you were stupid rich. 

The band was nice, though. Not Luka’s usual fare, but he could appreciate it. Next to him, Marinette’s shoulders drooped. 

“You look tired,” Luka observed. Marinette sighed.

“I am, but I didn’t want to miss this,” Marinette answered, without the fake smile she would have felt obligated to offer anyone else. “I don’t want Kagami to think there’s any hard feelings. She has so few friends as it is. Most of the people here are here for Adrien.” She gestured to her classmates scattered around, chatting and occasionally playing  some of the lawn games they had set up.

Luka unfolded his legs and opened his arms, beckoning to her. “Come here.”

“I shouldn’t,” Marinette fretted, though she was already moving to climb over his leg and sit in front of him. “I don’t want them to think I’m bored.” 

“Nobody will question it if you’re with me,” he pointed out gently as she leaned back and settled against him. “They’ll just think it’s cute.” They weren’t dating, not really, not while her heart was so bruised, but people mostly seemed to assume they were, and if corrected, would shrug in a way that implied it was only a matter of time. He put his arms around her and joined his hands across her middle, making a cradle of his body so she wouldn’t fall over if she fell asleep. Marinette let her head fall back on his shoulder, fidgeting a bit until she found the hollow between his shoulder and neck. 

“I’ve got you,” he murmured by her temple. “Just rest, Marinette, you’re exhausted.” She sighed again, and he felt her relax into him, and smiled. He hummed quietly along with the quartet, as he watched the festivities go on around him, pretending not to notice the looks and smiles that occasionally came their way. 

He was mildly surprised when Kagami stopped at his feet. “Will it disturb her if I join you?” she asked.

Luka took a moment to notice how heavy Marinette was against him, how relaxed, and the slow, steady breaths moving his hands. “I don’t think so,” he replied with a small smile. “She was really tired.”

“Then she should have stayed home,” Kagami frowned. 

“You invited her,” Luke reminded her. “She knew it was important to you and she wanted to be here.”

Kagami seemed to consider that. “May I?” Luka raised his eyebrows. “Join you,” Kagami clarified.

“Sure,” Luka said, nodding to the ground beside him. “Pull up a patch of grass. Congratulations again on your win, I didn’t get a chance to say it before.” 

“Thank you.” Kagami folded her legs and knelt next to him, tucking her skirt around her legs and resting her hands in her lap, back straight. Very proper, Luka thought with a smile to himself. 

“Marinette trusts you,” Kagami said. There were times when her bluntness bothered Luka, when she made Marinette uncomfortable, but most of the time he appreciated it. Few people were as unapologetically themselves as Kagami, and he could respect that. She seemed to be waiting for a response.

He settled on, “I’m grateful for that.” 

“I need some advice,” Kagami went on. “I can’t ask Marinette, and I don’t have any other friends. Since you are her friend and she trusts you, and she is my friend and I trust her, I’m hoping you will extend your assistance to me.”

“I will if I can,” Luka agreed, already having an idea where this was going, but willing to let her get there in her own way. 

“It’s about Adrien,” Kagami said in a rush, her composure cracking just a little. “That’s why I can’t ask Marinette.”

“Good call,” Luka said, as evenly as he could manage. 

“It’s just...I’m confused about Adrien’s behavior. He acts as if he cares about me, but there are times when he seems...uncertain. Hesitant. Uncommitted.” She paused. “Do you have any observations that could help?”

Luka hid his smile in Marinette’s hair. “Well,” he said when he lifted his head, “That’s not really a lot to go on, but it’s normal to be a bit hesitant in a new relationship. You’re still learning about each other and neither one of you has been in a relationship before, so you’ve got a lot to figure out. It’s harder when you don’t have any experience because you have all these things that movies and books have told you are things that are supposed to happen in a relationship, and one or both of you might not be ready for those things. And that’s okay, whether you do or don’t do those things doesn’t make your relationship any more or less valid.”

Kagami shifted uncomfortably. “What does it mean if I’m ready and he’s not?”

Luka shrugged. “It could mean a lot of things. People don’t always follow the same path, you know? When you learn a new fencing technique, do you and Adrien always master it at the same time?”

Kagami frowned. “Are you saying Adrien is incompetent at romance?” 

Luka had to contain his laughter to keep from waking Marinette, but it was hard. “Not exactly. I’m saying everybody is ready for things in their own time, and there’s nothing wrong with that. You can either wait until he is ready, or you can move on and find someone more in sync with you. Neither of those makes you a bad person.”

“There is no one better for me than Adrien,” Kagami declared.

Luka raised his eyebrows slightly. “Then you’ll just have to be patient. It’s fine to let him know how you feel and what you want out of your relationship, but it’s not right to pressure someone into something they’re not ready for.” 

“But if he loves me, why wouldn’t he be ready?” It was the closest thing he’d ever seen to a pout on her face.

“I can’t answer that,” Luka shrugged again, shifting Marinette just slightly. “People have all kinds of reasons for that kind of thing. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter why. It’s not something you can decide for him. Like I said, whether you do or don’t doesn’t mean anything about your relationship, but if you can’t be okay with his decision either way, then you shouldn’t be in a relationship at all.”

Kagami blinked. “I don’t want to force him,” she said. “I want him to want to. I just don’t know why he—“ she faltered and looked down at her hands. “Why he doesn’t. We’ve gone on dates. We spend time together. I thought he cared about me, but…”

“He does care about you,” Luka assured her. 

“I want him to love me like you love Marinette,” Kagami said in her flat, blunt way.

Luka felt the flush run up his neck and had to look away for a minute.” That’s not something you can force,” he said at last. “If that’s what you want, and you think he can give it to you, then like I said, you’ll just have to be patient. He’ll get there, or he won’t. There’s nothing you can do to change it. Well,” he amended, “Nothing honest, anyway. You could try to change yourself, but what good is it to be with someone who’s not in love with the real you?”

Kagami said nothing, and the silence continued for a moment before Luka felt compelled to break it. 

“But, Kagami,” he said slowly, and he shifted slightly under his burden to turn and look her in the eye. “Don’t settle. It’s hard to remember sometimes feeling as strongly as we do, but...we’re still young. We still have a lot of life to live and a lot of people to meet. Don’t spend your life waiting for Adrien if it turns out he can’t give you what you want.”

Kagami twisted the family ring on her finger absently. “How long am I supposed to wait?” 

“You’re the only one that can answer that,” Luka sighed. 

“How long do you intend to wait?” Kagami asked, narrowing her eyes slightly. “And what will happen when you’re done waiting?”

“I don’t know,” Luka admitted. “I don’t really feel like I need to know. I’ll move on when it feels like it’s time. I don’t need to put a number on it, but it’s okay if you do.”

“You can’t make her depend on you and then disappear because you’re tired of waiting,” Kagami said, and her tone began to annoy him slightly, although he knew she meant well.

“I won’t,” Luka said, leaning his head back against the tree. “Whatever happens, I’ll be careful. I won’t let her get hurt if I can help it.”

“Good,” Kagami said with another threatening look. Luka resisted the urge to roll his eyes. She was trying. Overcompensating, but trying.

“She doesn’t blame you,” he said, though he was straying into none-of-his-business territory. “She’s trying to be happy for you. It’s part of why she came today, even though she was so tired. She wants you to know she’s still your friend.”

Kagami looked at her hands, her short hair falling forward just enough to shield her expression. 

“She doesn’t hate you,” Luka said gently. “I promise. She’s not mad at Adrien, either. She just wants you both to be happy.”

Kagami was silent for a moment before she spoke again. “All my life I’ve been surrounded by people who had their own best interests at heart. I was raised knowing people would use me if they could. My money, my family name, my connections. I was taught not to encourage friendships because they could only end in disappointment and hurt once the other person got what they wanted.” She drew in a deep breath. “I’ve never known anyone as selfless as Marinette.” Luka smiled, until Kagami added, “Except maybe you.”

Luka shook his head, looking down at Marinette. “I’m a long way from selfless. I’d do anything for the people I care about, but…” He shrugged. “I’m a little too cynical to do it for the world at large the way Marinette does.”

Kagami sighed. “Are we fools?” she asked bluntly. “Are we simply courting heartbreak?” 

“I don’t know,” Luka admitted. 

“Doesn’t it bother you not to know?” Kagami demanded. “What if all of this is just a waste of time and we’re both spinning our wheels for nothing?” 

“It might be for nothing,” Luka sighed. “Or at least, not for the thing we want it to be. But even so…” he looked down at Marinette. “I can’t think of it as a waste, you know. I mean, obviously I was raised a little bit differently than you, and in my family, we believe relationships can have value even if they don’t last forever. Friends, lovers, we learn something from everyone we form a bond with. Sometimes those lessons are painful but pain has purpose.” He shrugged. “I just don’t feel like I need to have all the answers. If things work out and we get to have something lasting, I’ll be overjoyed. If that’s not what happens, then I’ll just have to let her go and treasure the time we’ve had together. Why would I want to ruin those moments worrying about it?” 

Kagami just sighed in answer. 

“Just love in the moment, Kagami,” Luka tightened his hold on Marinette slightly. “If it’s too painful to do that then...maybe you already have your answer.”

“In the moment,” Kagami repeated absently, her eyes finding Adrien across the green. He happened to look up at the same time and waved, smiling brightly. Kagami’s answering wave and smile were genuine, though more reserved. “I guess that will have to be enough for now.” She looked at Luka. “Can I bring you anything?”

“No,” Luka smiled. “I’m good.”

Kagami cracked a smile. “For the moment?”

Luka chuckled. “Exactly.”

#quickspins #mlvalentines2k20 #lukanette #adrimi #lukagami brotp #marigami friendship #please don't hurt my babies #i am lukanette trash i admit it #miraculousladybug #miraculous ladybug #ml fics #promptfic #luka couffaine #marinette dupain-cheng #kagami tsurugi #what the heart wants

[bellamygateoldblog]

THE 100 7X07 LIVEBLOG

Warning: Long. I’m sorry. I was excited.

• First thought, I'm being forced to watch without subtitles & and it might just be me but these actors are impossible to understand on the first listen.

• "The shepherd teaches us that winning the last war brings upon the final evolution of a species" so....aliens? ALIE? Ascending into a 'higher' form of existence meaning either life after death (ALIE style) or these people want to become Gods?

• They "believe in transcendence" so i must be on the right lines.

• Bardo have "different plans" for the two killers. Void!Echo might be cominggggg.

• "Death is life" / "may we meet again" / "death is not the end" — "winning the last war brings upon the final evolution of a species"???? I’ve connected the dots.

• I'm sorry but all this hyper-focus on Clarke and being "The Key to everything" is kinda embarassing me, like 😳 it's just so odd. That this alien cult from another part of the galaxy/universe is fixated on this random teenager born on a space station around Earth. I know, I know it's to do with Becca's tech, but it's still very much sounding like the "super important special protagonist" trope which I hate and until that detail about the code/tech is revealed it will continue to make me rme. LMAO.

• "Rise and shine errand boy" OK MA.

• Indra is out looking for their friends which confirms LGBT wrath squad literally told nobody they were leaving, and since Gaia was kidnapped, there's no news from them at all.

• Emori trying desperately to help Murphy stay out of hell. At first I thought she was reassuring him, but she was explaining why he needs to do these “errands,” because she believes in his ‘vision’ of hell last season.

• "besides [Murphy's] worshipped me for years."

• Memori is the inverse of Bellarke. There, I said it.

• "You don't know me very well-" / "i know you went into that tavern to save a child at great risk to yourself..." is the pretty much the exact same scene as Murphy's with Luna in s4: "you don't know me very well" / "I know you stole medicine to save [a child]..."

• Luna's spirit followed them across the galaxy/universe this season.

• I don't know anything about chess but the fear on Murphy's face when Slim Sheidy moved his Queen makes me think Emori is in danger this season for as long as he's still alive.

• Echo indirectly preaching "love is strength"

• "You don't talk about yourself much and you're a shapeshifter"

• Dude maybe Echo really is getting an arc this season.

• "Bellamy this isn't real" implies she's had to shut “this” down before, and that there's been something between them for a while. And Bellamy literally shut her up with a kiss, telling her and us that she’s being silly. Also, Echo was the one putting it off.

• Tall girlfriend short boyfriend rights!

• The shot of the ring becoming Echo's eye. Oh my GOD.

• "I know you're in pain Echo, I feel it" what a dumb fuck thing to say LMAO what gave it away?????? The way I'm crying right now in front of you??????

• "I'm the monster from Hope's bedtime stories"

• Octavia:

• WE'RE VOCALISING THE PARALLEL NOW HUH?!

• Octavia is telling EVERYONE else what we already knew. The parallel was NEVER to Finn. It was to Octavia. After Lincoln died. TELL EM.

• "I wish I hugged him instead"

• Octecho Murphamy parallel oh jesus.

• Octavia is like "no Murphy Echo! I'm not letting you go until you admit you're not useless! it's not your fault!"

• Octavia telling Echo love is the answer, love is what she needs, not death or violence. Love is strength. Here we go bitches.

• "YOU'RE MY FAMILY TOO"

• !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “YOU’RE ONE OF THE HUNDRED”

• Am i actually right with all these Echo theories i’ve had? I’m feeling so validated.

• It’s a shame none of these scenes will be edited and made into gifsets by fandom the way other Clarke/bellarke/anti-Echo-centred ones have been them with their none-existent Finn ‘parallel’ lmaooooo, because nobody cares for Echo and Octavia.

• Everyone is yelling for Echo. I feel that.

• Diyoza is checking her nails. I feel that too.

• "THAT'S DISHES YOUNG LADY" ajaksjajsjskasjsjdkskdjdj

• I'm so sad we're back in Sanctum😔😔😔

• Emori is fr pregnant.

• Are we really doing a sexism thing, here with Shiedheda and Murphy? I thought those things didn't exist anymore?🤔

• "how you respond to the loss of your Queen will tell me which you are (a leader or a follower)" — I'm going to be unhappy if Emori dies just so Murphy can become a "leader" by the end. Don’t. Especially not after this conversation about “not liking women very much.”

• Well there goes that theory of Hope favouring Murphy from the stories because she was told he was similar to her father. Sigh.

• "I like you John, you amuse me" is a pretty good way of summarising how his character has been used this season.

• "Everyone I ever loved was killed fighting in wars. Some that didn't need to be fought"

• "I LIKE OUR CHANCES" callback.

• Men who?

• "Violence and rage will only destroy your soul"

• “Revenge is a game with no winners” motherly advice vs “They loved people too. Where does it end?” / “it doesn’t end here. I don’t believe in karma” motherly advice.

• These quotes are making me nervous about void!Echo. I hope she gets brought back from the dark eventually. Or makes the dark her bitch.

• This Diyoza-Hope scene looks paralleled to the Octecho one! Thus Echo also wants to "go back to the way things were."

• "They took my mommy away" — Like ‘they’ took Octavia's and Echo's. Two other warrior women in the same group. Clarke dealt with the loss of hers. Madi with the loss of hers. There’s Gaia and Indra’s strained relationship. Emori + being cast out by her parents. The child sacrifices. Murphy + Sheidheda’s mother throwing him in the conclave meaning he doesn’t like women. Is this season about mommy issues?

• A little confused why he’s talking about Lexa as if she directly stole his legacy. Wasn’t he in power when Indra was a child?

• Octavia is laying there staring at a blank book.

• I'm dying at Octavia monologing, completely oblivious to Echo cutting her face with broken glass behind her. LMAO. She's become so accustomed to Echo's whimpering she's not even phased anymore.

• Dying again at Echo out of nowhere just going DO YOU KNOW WHY AZGEDA WARRIORS SCAR THEIR OWN FACES?

• Octavia, again:

• "We do it to symbolize that the pain is over. The wound is healed."

• That's such a good explanation. And here begins Echo's healing journey. As her wounds heal over the next few episodes so will she. And by the end her scars will symbolise that journey.

• Here Echo goes again being the smartest person in the room, always. "We're not prisoners, we're recruits."

• Tasya is making me super uncomfortable with the jittery, eery way Echo is moving around. I love it.

• The way Echo casually saunters out of the fucking room with not a single care in the world oh she knowsssss. AJDKSHFJSF

• Echo leading again!!! Making the decisions. Octavia following after her (literally) and backing her.

• "This is how my people show they're ready to go to war" — making everyone extremely uncomfortable and I love that for her. Also, "my people."

• Embracing her Azgeda-ness.

• Octavia understanding and jumping in to aid Echo's plan combined with the close-up of Echo's determined abliet slightly unhinged expression makes me believe Echo is leaning into her "spy" along with her Azgeda and going undercover, making them believe she's on their side when she's not. But there's still a part of me thinking Echo is spiraling and is going to war out of habit and because she feels she has nowhere else to go/ "no home." Aka, the detail to finish off the S7 O/E parallels: "this is who I am" / "I'm here for the war."

• Furthermore, her scarring herself could be a callback to Octavia telling Ilian to help her feel something.

• I love this season a lot.

• Back in Sanctum again😒

• How does a chess game take all fucking DAY?

• OH 🙂 That's how.

• Yeah it makes absolutely no sense Raven would ask about Octavia before Echo.

• Raven looking at Clarke when finding out Bellamy's dead as if she isn't the only one there who's his actual family, who spent 6 entire years with him + more. Raven Clarke-Prop Reyes strikes again.

• Clarke's like *sad confusion*

• The scene of Clarke finding out about Bellamy's death didn't feel so much about her as it did "well what does this mean for them now?"

• "From the ashes we will rise" becomes "from the ashes, through the bridge, the shepherd will rise" Gotta say, not as catchy.

• "please call me Bill" - No. No Bill. Only Cadogan.

• We're going back to Earth this season aren't we?

#the 100 s7 #the 100 7x07

[geekkatsblog]

Grey's Anatomy 16x14 review

(Who hurt the writers on Grey's? Everyone is breaking up and everyone's unhappy.)

_________________________________________

Deluca

Talking about him first because he is the biggest mess on Grey's right now and that's saying something. I really hope its sleep deprivation and not anything else because the way he's heading, hes gonna either be put in the mental or fired and either way no one can say he wouldn't deserve it. He was just out of it the whole episode. He was an ass to Dr Haynes who is one of his superiors, Yelling at Meredith in front of everyone, bringing out all of their personal business and even if he didn't care that's really embarrassing for the chief of surgery to be yelled at by a resident. He broke up with Meredith and THEN YELLED AT THE PATIENT. I was just done by then and Dr Riley calling him a machine 😳😱😰, wow what is happening to sweet innocent Deluca? I miss him. I sure hope that they figure out fast and solve what the hell is wrong with him or he's gone.

_________________________________________

Meredith

Apparently had no patients or chief of general surgery duties to do, so she decided to steal Deluca's out of concern, only to be yelled at, dumped and embarrassed by her resident/boyfriend. Honestly I don't know what to say, well for starters she should have either left Deluca alone or suggested the problem to Bailey and have another Doctor take over Suzanne instead of taking over the case. She can't keep using her Chief of General status to protect him. She should have chewed him out and told him to go get some sleep like she would have done with any other resident. Was kinda disappointed she let him talk to her like that. Come on Mer great sex or not he's not worth lowering your respect at work, at least not again you already went through that as an intern.

_________________________________________

Dr Haynes/ Mc Widow

So far so good, still not at shipper level with him and Mer yet, but as a stand alone character hell yea he's awesome. I kinda like him as the peds dr as well, him trying to help Joey with his physical therapy was something that he could have pawned of to an intern but no he made it his priority to find out himself how to help Joey, you can tell he really cares for his patients. My heart melted when he discussed with Bailey on how to help Joey, and then when he tried to defend Meredith form Deluca who is currently in hulk form. He's a cool addition to the cast so far.

_________________________________________

Jo Wilson/Karev

Is definitely on the brink of breaking and who could blame her? However she needs to find another way to break besides sticking her nose in other people's business. When she was talking to Link about Amelia earlier about having a tumor and not wanting kids. She definitely did not have the whole story about that and needed to zip it then in the OR with Owen she brought up how he would feel if Amelia's baby was HIS OMG, she almost ruined everything. For a second I wanted to slap her but then when she started to cry at the phone call with Alex and I couldn't stay mad, she's definitely suffering right now. Why are they doing it this way? I can't understand. They made a reference with the bear case and rekindled old flames that made me wonder if Alex found Izzie Idk, I'll have to wait and see.

On another note though, did they really try to validate affairs on that episode last night? Wow.

_________________________________________

Owen

Giving advice on how to care for a pregnant woman to Link on the elevator..... what a cringe 😖😖. Link knew and he didn't. And then besides going to the ultrasounds was Owen really there for Teddy? the 1st third Teddy was afraid to tell him she was pregnant, the 2nd third he spent being upset with Teddy and sorting out his relationship with Amelia and the adopted kids and the 3rd third he was pissed at Teddy's relationship with Koracick so when we think about it is he really qualified to give advice??? That was all he did in the episode, give advice, even to Jo. Since when is he a reliable source at giving advice.

_________________________________________

Bailey

Nothing much to do, except give a PSA on menopause, kicking Deluca off the case, temporarily ending powered up Deluca and sharing some joy with Joey while also attempting to share some with Richard. She is definitely going to help Joey, I'm not sure about the others since they seem to be happy and settling into their new homes well. Plus 4 adoptees as well as Tuck, that might be a little too much to handle. I was happy to see her and Richard's friendship as I usually am. That is the most personal I've seen their friendship usually it's mostly work husband to work wife. She's concerned and for good reason because I've never seen him so down before, it's almost at alcoholism relapse level and she's probably the only one left to help him.

_________________________________________

Richard

Is in a deep slump. His wife left him, hes separated and work no longer seems to be doing the trick for distracting him. Hes not teaching the interns and refusing to accept the help from friends. I hope this isn't a relapse coming or a cheating scandal either. Richard you've come too far now to go backwards. Get it together and surprise Catherine by being great.

_________________________________________

Amelia/Link

They broke up........ saw it coming but yet didn't see it coming and the excuse she used. Idk it was a little weak at the end of the day anyone would be sceptical to enter a relationship with potentially another man's baby. It may however be for the best right now, she had a rough pregnancy before where her baby died and the paternity stress definitely isn't good for her and baby. She needs to focus on her and her kid for now to ensure a healthy birth. Then for sure she needs to get the test done and face the problem. Props for her though for finally realizing that Maggie is possibly one of the most supportive people ever and deserves to be supported as well.

_________________________________________

Maggie

May have finally found her person in Amelia Shepherd who after being shown how it's done to be a supportive person has seemed to try it for herself. Their moments tonight were sweet to me Amelia is more like her half sister than Mer is. They really are sweet and are developing a close bond. When Amelia called her everything at the end to Link❤❤❤. I think this is the beginning to a beautiful sister hood.

_________________________________________

Jackson

Mark Sloan's work reincarnated, then in the episode at the end, popped up out of no where outside Meredith's house to apologize for being an ass to Maggie at the end of their relationship. Basically just a filler role tonight.

_________________________________________

Nico and Levi

They were the most confusing of the night and that's saying something. At the beginning of their relationship Nico tells Levi he doesn't want a baby gay who's parents don't know that he's gay and after Levi outed himself to his parents and family and everyone else causing conflict among his family Nico then confesses that his own parents are unaware that he's gay.

Say what????????????

The funniest part to me about it is that when Levi was about to tell him how wrong it was for Nico to come at him for not telling his parents when he himself didn't even tell his own family, Nico was like I know what I said,....... excuse me what? The writers didn't even try with this one, they made him say one thing and was like well we need to throw some good old fashion conflict in these guy's relationships so let's just ignore what he said earlier and go from there. It sucks because they really were a great couple with potential.

_________________________________________

End notes/Questions

• I'm incredibly thankful that Suzanne lived so that her kids could see her again. She really is an awesome mom, and her family dynamic, with her sister reminds me of the one I have with my sister, so that case really did hit a spot.

• The foster kids reunion was so cute and how sweet is Joey, hes like the kindest teenager ever. And so are his siblings, they're all adorable.

• I need them to do something with the place they're taking Deluca down and solve it fast because I don't like the place he's heading.

• Same goes for Alex, hes ghosting Jo and now Meredith. I know they have to try to take the band aid off slowly so it won't affect Jo's character but I wished they'd do it without erasing Alex's growth.

• Will Link and Amelia get back together and who's the father Owen or Link?

• Is Richard going to have a relapse or is something going to change.

• Will Ben and Bailey adopt Joey and his siblings, just Joey or none. For some reason I can feel a Ben and Bailey conflict coming on, they haven't discussed the miscarriage and that's bad.

• What's going to happen with Livi and Nico? I'm at a lost on where it's going at this point.

• Pac north is gone, are we going to see some more new doctors at the hospital?

• And last and most importantly, can we have at least one healthy happy couple on Grey's If not I'll settle for a happy healthy person.

#grey's spoilers #greys anatomy #grey's anatomy #meredith grey #miranda bailey #jo wilson #jo karev #jackson avery #maggie pierce #richard webber #catherine avery #alex karev #amelia shepherd #atticus link #levi schmitt #episode review #review #tv fandom #tv show #tv series #owen hunt #teddy altman #shonda rhimes #shondaland #tv characters #things i love #greys abc #grey s anatomy #izzie stevens

[sepublic]

A quote from the tv show Shake it up that lowkey reminded me of all your Blight twins analysis in regards to Edric’s clinginess “No problem, Tinkabell, I will take you on a date!” “No! I want real date, with real boy! I mean, it's not like we're going to grow up and get married. (Looks away and looks back in horror. Gunther looks lost.) You do know we're not going to grow up and get married, right?”

           Well THIS dredged up some ancient, primordial memories of that show, and the specific scene…! Not to mention a time when I was younger, a nebulous period of existence that I can’t quite pinpoint the location of, but I at least know it was THERE…! But yeah, that is a SCARY thought, and I have to wonder if I’m low-key to blame for imagining this, given how it was myposts that reminded you of this, Anon! Though, I doubt Edric would go that far, and while he has his dummy moments, I doubt he’s THAT dumb… Regardless, I think I need to rinse my brain after this.

           Still, I can see Ed and Em doing this sort of thing for one another back when they were younger, offering themselves to their sibling as a substitute in the wake of rejection (though obviously not with the assumption that they’d go THAT far)! As in, “Who needs a friend/date when we already have our sibling bond!” But of course, while this worked to pick the two up and reassure one another of their own worth in the past, now… Well, Emira and Edric didn’t bother embracing one another’s companionship after Grom, or at least did so in a rather cold manner that kept themselves distant from the rest.

          Probably because they were too dejected from being stood up to be in the mood for that, not to mention their various concerns about being their own person, and lapsing back into co-dependency! So it’s this weird balance between wanting to discover an identity for oneself, but at the same time still providing for your beloved sibling, especially if things go wrong and maybe you CAN’T find any identity beyond your status as a twin… But then you also don’t want to close the door completely on any new relationships!

          And then you have Edric still giving his coat to Emira, so she recognizes that it’s unnecessary and cruel to just cut ties with him entirely just to form her own identity, and also maybe having pity for Ed…? Because amidst the uncertainty of finding out who you are, what if it’s not worth it in the end? And Edric has at least proven himself as trustworthy, so why make the risk of forming new bonds that aren’t people like Luz? And on Edric’s side, he still feels obligated to care for his sister (plus he’s the only one with a coat to give anyway), but maybe he also remembers Emira being kind of cold to him earlier, and that’s sticking with him? Or at least he’s trying to respect her boundaries, while still providing support?

           I wouldn’t be surprised if Emira and Edric legit had no idea which of these options are motivating their behavior, assuming it’s not all of them at once, or none to begin with! Even if they are going to have identity issues that will be explored later in the show, I’m probably just overthinking this piece of art, but then again, that’s also part of the fun; Creating meaning where there might not be any, or on the creator’s side, setting aside room for that kind of interpretive creation by the fans! Regardless, even at the worst of any co-dependent issues/scenarios, I don’t think Ed and Em would go THAT far, because they still have Odalia and Alador to provide sense, not to mention Amity and Luz…

           Really, I think the twins are being too hard on themselves, but at the same time, it’s not hard to see why! Previous rejection, combined with parental abuse, can lead to a LOT of insecurity that while technically illogical and unreasonable, is still valid. While I do think that Ed and Em are underestimating their ability to make new connections and discover their own individual identities (they’ve already grown in their own way separate from Odalia and Alador’s conditioning), I can’t blame them for having that sort of self-doubt and confusion.

          Being a teen is already a disorienting mess in and of itself… And fear and paranoia can lead to one believing scenarios that are totally unrealistic as a legitimate and threatening possibility! Like, I’m glad the twins are now evaluating themselves, self-reflecting, and exploring their own identities… But I feel that someone like Eda would be helpful in reminding these two to give themselves more credit! That whatever they choose is valid… Which, when one considers the possibility that their similarities were partially-enforced by Odalia, definitely leaves room for Ed and Em doubting whether their closeness with one another is real or even (capable of being) healthy, which fits into the kind of gaslighting that an abuser like Odalia does.

           I think Eda, who was also close with a sibling –even if they weren’t incredibly similar twins- would have a lot to say to Emira and Edric, a lot of encouragement and advice about being your own person, that even if the identity you choose for yourself fits with what someone else expects, it’s still your own choice regardless, and you should let yourself enjoy it without somebody else ruining that for you! And Ed and Em are already pretty open-minded about Eda, and what she has to say… Edric especially given that he tried to taste snow, but that could also just be Ed being, well. Ed.

          While the twins’ feelings are valid, by the end of the day, they’re severely underestimating their own abilities and the individuality they’ve already made for themselves, as well as the connections and relationships they currently have with others! They may not have as many friends as they’d like, but what they’ve got going on right now isn’t hopeless either; The twins have their little sister Amity, they’ve got Luz… And they’ve got all of Luz’s other connections by proxy, because she’s too kind to turn a blind eye, and we know someone like Eda would happily provide support!

          You’re never alone, and it’s never too late to reach out and form new relationships! I think Eda would have a lot to enlighten the twins about how being your own person doesn’t mean forsaking one’s relationships with others; If anything, it makes them closer and more meaningful! THAT kind of revelation would alleviate most of the twins’ concerns, I feel.

           TL;DR Someone give these kids some actual love, reassurance, and a hug or two! Ideally Eda, but really, ANYBODY is better than Odalia and maybe Alador!

#the owl house #owl house #the owl house edric #edric blight #the owl house emira #emira blight #the owl house eda #edalyn clawthorne #speculation #ask

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

tw homophobia, asking for advice/opinion--

so, i'm bi-asexual, but i'm closeted because my community is very religious and it could be dangerous for me to come out. i know my family are of the opinion that all the lgbt+ deserve no better than death and that we're only disgusting filth.

i have a therapist, and i came out to her a few weeks ago because my sexuality and the panic of being found out is a big part of my anxiety at least, and i needed to be open with her to work things out. i wouldn't like to say that she's aphobic, she said she accepts me and is happy that i told her, but at the same time she constantly says things like "i don't think you can actually be asexual if you've never had sex before", "i personally think you can't call yourself asexual yet".

my relationships with my family members are strained, i guess, because i always have that fear that they'll somehow find out and disown me or even send me to jail or something, so i haven't let myself be close to any of them since i started questioning 4 years ago. my therapist thinks that if i let myself get close to them, they'll love me enough to compromise and accept me in the future whenever they find out. i personally don't think so, but i agreed to at least try and not push them away. [it's a bit more complicated than this because there are also other reasons why i'm afraid of my parents and closed off from my family (trauma? can i use that word? they've hurt me in the past a lot, but not physically) but i am trying my best.]

so i just want another opinion i suppose? my therapist isn't part of the lgbt community herself, so i wonder if changing that factor could give me a different view on this?

also, am i overreacting by being uncomfortable around my therapist? i figure that whenever i come out in the future, i'll face around the same treatment about my sexuality as from her, so i might as well get used to it, but it does feel like she tries to overlook that part of me(?) and insists that family love is above everything and that they will accept me no matter what i think.

-ri

Hey Ri,

I'm so sorry that you're dealing with all of this. It sounds like a lot. I feel for you. Please remember that things won't always be like this, and that one day, you will find people who love and accept you as you are. Being bi and ace is not wrong. You are not deserving of death, you are not disgusting. You have so much inherent value and worth.

It makes sense that you're experiencing anxiety about it, though. A homophobic society makes it incredibly difficult to be comfortable as oneself, but remember that you are not the wrong one, society is.

Sometimes people say they support us, but their beliefs and thoughts contrast this. I would say that it is aphobic to say that someone can't be asexual unless they have had sex before. There is no timeline for figuring out your identity, and straight allo people are not accused of not knowing their orientation until they have had sex.

Even if your family has not harmed you physically, it is possible they abused you. There are many different kinds of abuse, and none are necessarily more valid or traumatizing than others.

While it may be good to not completely shut your family out, you get to decide when and how you do so. You're allowed to have boundaries, and you know your family best. Your therapist may be hoping that your family will treat you well and give you the support you need and deserve, but it sounds like you think otherwise. Again, you know them best, and your safety is essential.

You are absolutely not overreacting. You deserve to have your sexuality and autonomy respected. You know yourself. Even if you do change your labels in the future, that doesn't mean you have to try sex or dating someone in any particular way to justify your labels.

I don't doubt that your family loves you, but they don't understand LGBT+ identities and are clearly harming you due to their beliefs. We can understand why they're like this without saying it's okay. Love is powerful, but love without understanding can have harmful effects.

Yes, some people will react how she did, but I want you to know that many, many people will react with compassion and acceptance. There is a strong LGBT+ community that includes and supports LGBT+ people.

You would be well within your rights to seek out a new therapist. If possible, someone who is part of the LGBT+ community, or someone who explicitly says they are supportive of the LGBT+ community. I don't think your current therapist understands what you're going through when it comes to sexuality. I suggest either communicating that with her or start looking for other therapists and interviewing them. It's totally valid to have a short session with a bunch of different mental health professionals before you decide on one.

Here is a link about choosing a therapist.

Take care!

- Mod Misa

#trauma talks #tw homophobia #mod misa #ri #anon ri #ri anon