#and possibly have her make me realize im bi

[ornii]

My Better Bitter Half, Part 11

Apologies for taking so long but we back baby.

How well do we really know our parents? Take my father. I've always considered him an open book. A man given to misguided schemes and exaggerated displays of affection. But when he was a student, he was accused of a murder that took place right up there. Which leads me to wonder...what really happened that stormy night 32 years ago?

You, your sister Wednesday and, possible crush Enid stood together listening to the drivel that principal Weems was spewing.

“Nevermore was created as a safe haven for our children to learn and to grow, no matter bI realize most of you have heard about the unfortunate incident involving one of our students.bBut I'm happy to report that Eugene is on the mend and is expected to make a full recovery.bSo let's focus on the positive and make this Parents' Weekend our very best yet.” Weems said.

“On the mend?” Wednesday said.

“Try in a coma.” You chime in, Enid turns to Wednesday and you.

“Have you been to see him? You're his friends.”

“I'm the reason he's in the hospital.” Wednesday said, and Enid attempts to console her.

“That is not your fault, okay?” She says, and you raise an eyebrow.

“Well… technically speaking—“ you start, Enid glares at you, convincing you to stop speaking. You close your mouth and shrug.

“Besides, The monster hasn't attacked anyone in the past week. Maybe you finally scared it off.” Enid explains, and you rub your chin, pondering.

“Or maybe it went into hiding to avoid this weekend. Too many people… they want to avoid getting caught.” You say, suddenly your eyes catch a glimpse of black, three figures, Mother, Father, and Pugsley. Wednesday also notices the family arriving.

“I knew I should have worn my plague mask.” Wednesday said.

“Would you look at my family?” Enid looks over to her howling family.

“Talk about toxic pack mentality. I give my mom 30 seconds before her judge-y claws come out. Let's get this over with.” She said, the students agree and go to face their family.

“There he is. Oh, how we missed those devilish eyes and youthful glare.” Morticia, your mother hugged you sternly, and you happily accepted her love, as decrepit as it was..

“Madré!” You say, hugging her. Spotting your father you also reciprocate a hug.

Padre! How are you father?” You say, you see how uncomfortable Wednesday is, obviously human interaction was not her strong suit.

“How are you, my little rain cloud?” Morticia hugs her daughter.

“I thought Thing was filling you in on my every move.” Wednesday says, Morticia and Gomez look surprised that she knows, and you casually chime in.

“You didn’t think we wouldn’t notice?” You smirk, standing next to Wednesday.

“I uncovered your feeble subterfuge almost immediately.”

“We.” you chime in.

“So, how's the little fella doing? Does he still have all his fingers?” Gomez says.

“Relax. I haven't snapped any of his digits. Yet.”

“So tell us everything.”

“Since you've abandoned me here, I've been hunted, haunted... and the target of an attempted murder.”

Much to no one surprised, the Addams Re reveled in it. Morticia and Gomez reach the Principals office with the family. morticia looks at her old yearbook with Principal Weems

“I haven't laid eyes on this in over 20 years. Such good times we had, didn't we, Larissa?”

“Some of us better than others.”

“Oh, don't be so modest. You always filled a room with your presence. Like a stately sequoia tree.”

“And I guess that would make you the lumberjack.”

The two engage in passive aggressive softball, and you couldn’t enjoy it more, sneering.

“There's that biting sense of humor that I always adored. Do you remember when we did that duet for the Solstice Talent Show? Your Judy Garland impression was a dead ringer.” Morticia says.

“Sounds positively suicidal.” Wednesday said.

“I’d love to see it. Im sure Wedensday would agree.” You say, crossing your leg as you wink at Wednesday, who stares daggers at you. Morticia notices something off.

“Oh. My picture's gone.”

“Really? Well, that is odd.” Weems says, feigning innocence.

“May I borrow this for the weekend? That way Gomez and I can take a little walk down memory lane.” She says to her husband, they gawk at each other which only makes Weems more, uncomfortable.

“All right. Let's get down to the matter at hand, shall we? Unfortunately, Wednesday's assimilation has been rocky at best.”

“Because I refuse to embrace the culture of dishonesty and denial permeating this school.

Starting with the monster that killed Rowan and put Eugene in the ICU.” She says, you raise your finger.

“Although I do hear he's on the mend.” You say with a grin, Weems puts on a smile, a fake one.

“We've always encouraged our children to speak their minds.” Gomez said

“Sometimes her sharp tongue and his serrated wit can cut deep.” Gomez says.

“Apparently her therapist feels she hasn't been very open to the process. Their time together has not yielded the results we'd hoped.” Weems explains

“I'm not a lab rat.” Wednesday said in retort.

“I say more like a, Crow. A lab crow.” You say, Your sisters cold glare was in the corner of your eye.

“I believe Wednesday should get the help she deserves.” You say, only adding more fuel to the fire and Weems Agrees.

“Dr. Kinbott and I have spoken, and we both agree it would be most beneficial for you all to attend a family session this weekend.” She said, and the word “family” made you halt.

“Wait.. family?” You ask. “Absolutely not.”

“No.” Wedensday shuts it down quickly, and Weems shakes her head.

“I thought that might be your reaction, but your parents can see the wisdom in it.”

“Um, not to side with Wednesday, but, um, we're only here for the weekend.” Morticia says, and Gomez spoke up.

“Oh, come on. What can it hurt? To be honest, I've always been a big fan of head-shrinking.”

“It's not that kind of head-shrinking, father.” You say, now having the annoyed cadence of your sister.

“Well, that is disappointing. But anything for our kids.” Morticia says, much to the annoyance of the twins.

The Therapy session began as (Y/n), Wednesday and Pugsley sat in the middle with both Morticia and Gomez at sides, Kinbott looks at the full Addams family with gleaming hope.

“So, who wants to start?” She said, it was silent, until she asked again.

“Maybe we can discuss what it's like having Wednesday away from home?” She said, and Pugsley began.

“I mean, for me....it's been hard not having (Y/n) and Wednesday around. I never thought I'd miss being waterboarded and Used as a host for ghosts so much.” Pugsley admits.

“Morticia, Gomez. How have you been coping?” Kinbott asks them.

“It's been torture for us too.”

“Fortunately, my brother Fester's rack fits two people.”

“Nothing like a good stretch to bring out the best in each other.” Morticia says and the two simply cannot get their hands off of Each other.

“Enough!” Wednesday said, actually letting her anger out. And not many times, (Y/n) agrees.

“I think it's high time my parents faced the music. It seems they've been lying to me.

Keeping secrets. Murderous secrets that need to be addressed. Who was Garrett Gates, and why are you accused of murdering him?” Wednesday asks her father, (Y/n) squints his eyes and slowly turns to Gomez.

“…Father?” He asks, which Gomez’s attitude shifts, and Morticia quickly intervenes

“Those charges were dropped. Your father is an innocent man.”

“Local sheriff doesn't seem too convinced.”

“Wednesday, stop. This is neither the time nor the place.”

“Mother, did you know about this?” (Y/n) asks Morticia.

“(Y/n), now isn’t the time for this.” She said.

“Actually, this is exactly the place.” Kinbott chimes in. “These sessions are—“

“Doctor. This does not concern you. And I refuse to debate a decades-old witch-hunt with you right now.” Morticia says.

“Darling, maybe we should...” Gomez says.

“No. This session is over.”

“Have it your way, Mother.” Wednesday stood up and stormed off.

“Wednes... Wednesday?”

“If you refuse to tell me the truth, I'll just have to excavate it myself.” She walks off, and Morticia follows.

“What were you thinking? How could you ambush your father like that? Wednesday.”

“How could I? You insisted I go to this school.

Did you really think I wouldn't find out your secret?”

“You don't know the full story. Your father did nothing wrong.”

“I'll be the judge of that.” Wednesday walks off, (Y/n) exits the building to see his sister leave, and he follows, Wednesday enters the hospital and makes her way to Eugene’s room, he follows silently until she sits at his side.

“I harvested hive number three. The bees miss you, Eugene. We all do.” Wednesday said, (Y/n) smiles and gently taps on the door. Wednesday quickly turns around and sees her brother.

“How long have you been listening?” She said.

“Long enough to see you care.”

“I don’t.”

“Sure you don’t.” (Y/n) walks next to his sister, looking at Eugene. A heated rage begins to overtake him.

“He didn't deserve this. I should be in that bed.” Wednesday says, and (Y/n) shakes his head…

“It isn’t your fault, it’s the monster who did this, and we will find him, I can assure you of that. Now Cmon, we have to get back to Mother and Father, you’d hate to make they worry.” (Y/n) says with sarcasm. Wednesday reluctantly follows. The twins return to eat with their family.

“Mmm. I am famished. You're not hungry, darling?” Morticia says to her daughter, (Y/n) was too busy looking over at Enid.

“My appetite eludes me, Mother.” She replies; Enid is forced to sit with her family,

“So are you going to make me ask?” Her mother says, and Enid assumes she means the Addams boy who’s making dreamy eyes at her.

“Well.. (Y/n) and I haven't defined our relationship yet, even if it is one—“

“I'm not talking about boys. Have you wolfed out yet?” She says, Enid inhaled sharply and out on a smile.

..”No.”

“Well, that is a disappointment.”

“That's me. A huge disappointment…” she says, (Y/n) sees how sad she is, he stands up and walks over, he adjusts his clothes and smiles.

“Excuse me.” He says, he offers a handshake.

“You must be Miss Sinclair.” He says and takes her hand, the woman puts on a smile as Enid was now panicking. Her crush and now her overbearing mother meeting.

“I’m really sorry but I have to speak with Enid, just for a moment.”

“Alright? Don’t try anything—“

“Mom!” Enid says though her teeth, he leads Enid away and he sighs.

“I’m sorry to pull you from your family—“

“No it’s fine, I actually wanted to ask you something.”

“You did? What?” (Y/n) asks.

“Well… I, don’t know how to feel after the dance…” she begins.

“You, didn’t have fun?” (Y/n) asks, and Enid shakes her head.

“No, of course I did! It’s just… you’re like my best friend, besides Wednesday, you’re.. more than my best friend.. someone I really care about.

“I’d.. like that.. to be more… I know you’re still heartbroken after Ajax..” (Y/n) begins, Enid watches but slowly peers over his shoulder to see what’s going on.

“Uh.. (Y/n)?”

“And I don’t want to be a replacement I, I want to be more than that, I want to be…”

“(Y/n)… your, dad.”

“What I’m trying to say is that I want you to be my Girl—“

“Your dads getting arrested!” She yells. (Y/n) stops and turns around to see his father being taken away by police.

“Gomez Addams. You're under arrest for the murder of Garrett Gates. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.”

“Father?”

“You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford one, one will be appointed for you.” (Y/n) can only watch as his father is taken away, god only knows what hellscape awaits.

The Twins stood at the blocked off prison visiting room, as their father sits solemnly at the seat. He sees the two stand there.

“My little tormenta, how's your mother?” Gomez asks Wednesday first.

“Devastated. She hates you in orange. I caught her laying a rose on a grave earlier today. The headstone read "Garrett Gates." The very boy you've been arrested for murdering. Care to explain?” She says, and (Y/n) nods.

“It’s best for everyone, father, elaborate.” He said, and Gomez explains.

“Garrett was infatuated with your mother. He mistook her kindness for interest. His infatuation turned into obsession, and he started stalking her.”

“Why didn't you call the police?”

“We tried. But his family were the oldest and richest in Jericho, But No one believed us. Garrett's father, an outcast-hating bigot, was furious that your mother had accused his only son. It all came to a head the night of the Rave'N Dance. Your mother and I stepped out to catch our breath. And that's when I saw him. He had broken into the school. His twisted love for your mother had made him insane. His eyes bore into me, brimming with murderous intent. My life flashed before my eyes. Driven by jealousy and hate, Garrett was When I saw the sword, my survival instinct kicked in. It was a terrible accident.” Gomez says, (Y/n) and Wednesday look at each other. (Y/n) motions his sister over and they speak out of hearing range from their father.

“If I'm being objective, his confession sounds entirely plausible, delivered with the perfect degree of sincerity. Perhaps father is exactly what he says.” Wednesday said.

“I agree; although father has a magnificent poker face, I think he’s telling the truth, but then again, what other rotting skeletons are in his closet, let’s play it safe.” (Y/n) said, they walk back and speak at the same time.

“Thank you for being honest with us.”

“I'm sorry I wasn't a better father.” He says, trying to hold back tears, Wednesday had no emotion, (Y/n) sighed.

“Could we please do without the overt display of emotion?” Wednesday demands, and forms composed himself.

“How many fathers hand their daughter a fencing blade when she's five?”

“Your saber strokes were an essay in perfection.”

“How many fathers would teach their son how to beat a lie detector?”

“It’s all about your heartbeat.”

“Or teach her how to swim with sharks?”

“They found you as cold-blooded as I do.”

“The right way to flay a rattlesnake?”

“They really do taste like chicken when prepared properly.”

“The point is, you taught us how to be strong and independent.” Wednesday begins, and (Y/n) adds in.

“And..How to navigate in a world full of treachery and prejudice. You are the reason we understand how imperative it is that we never lose sight of who we are, no matter what life throws at us.” (Y/n) looks into the eyes of his father, showing he means everything he says.

“So as far as fatherhood goes, I would say you've been more than adequate.” Wednesday said, and Gomez holds back a year.

“Gracias, (Y/n), Wednesday.”

The visitation ends and the two step out of the jail.

“We’ll have to consider all of this…” (Y/n) said, Wednesday also agrees and turns to (Y/n).

“You need to… console, Pugsley.”

“Why me?” (Y/n) asks, and Wednesday stares at him.

“… Yeah, I suppose you trying to comfort him would be… an issue.” (Y/n) chuckles, Wednesday turns her head forward.

“I’m going to.. convince the sheriff to hear me out.”

“As long as you don’t wind up behind bars as well, go for it.” He says, they split up and leave, (Y/n) walked past multiple happy families, (Y/n) approached the lake with a bag in hand, he peers over to see Pugsley sitting down.

“Go away.”

“Pug, You forgot your fishing gear.”

“I know you’re just trying to be nice to make me forget about dad. You’re being honest…It doesn't suit you.”

“That’s… fair. Father packed your favorite bait.” He sits next to him and digs into the bag, and grabs a hand grenade.

“What'll happen to him now?” He asks, and (Y/n) primes a grenade and casually tosses it into the water.

“Well, he's confessed, so there won't be a trial. After he's sentenced, he'll be sent to a state penitentiary, where he'll lose his mind being separated from Mother. Did you know they haven't spent a night apart since they tied the knot?”

“I always thought You’d be the first one in the family behind bars.” Pugsley said, (Y/n) shrugged.

“Funny enough, Wedensday nd I had a bet going… she owes me everything in her will.”

The water explodes deep down, and dead fish float up.

“That's quite a catch. Take the shrapnel out and we have a good feast.”

“I'm gonna miss him, (Y/n).”

“It's not over yet. He's innocent.”

“Well, if anyone can figure out who really committed the crime... it's you and Wednesday, you two work really well together. You have to find out the truth and free Dad.”

Pugsley’s words, so endearing. (Y/n) grits his teeth and nods.

“I will. I will Pugsley…Well, until that happens, we both know Mother will be falling apart.

Which means we have to be strong. And by "we," I mean you. Definitely not me.” He says, the brothers spend more time together before (Y/n) left the forest, as he walks out, his ears pick up the sound of sniffling. He halted as he searched for the origin of the sound, what caught his eye was the bright pink vest. He immediately recognized the color. He peers over to Enid sitting behind a tree, crying.

“Enid?” He asks, she looks up to him, her makeup a mess as it seems she’s been at it for a while, (Y/n) sits next to her.

“Is.. something wrong?” He asks, Enid looks at him like a sad, hurt puppy.

“It’s my mom she, wants to send me to… to..”

“To?”

“Conversion therapy! Like I’m some sort of disappointment!” She looks so hurt, (Y/n), not knowing how to console someone, he sighs and speaks from his black heart.

“Enid… you don’t need to wolf out to be a Weerwolf or, find a mate. Even without those powers, you’re unique, sparkly, bubbly, so kind and.. beautiful.” (Y/n) says, looking at the ground, enid looks up at him, perplexed.

“You.. think so?”

“Of course I do! You’re the only person who makes looking at pink bearable.” He says, his hand gently placed on hers. “If my father taught me anything, it’s to be yourself.. unapologetically, which…” he trails on.

“Ive.. been meaning to say this Enid, but I’ve had no luck, I want to ask.. will you—“

“(Y/n)!”

He hears his voice being called, he very didn’t much want to turn his attention to it, but he did, and he saw his sister approach.

“You have got to be kidding me..” he says, he was dragged away by his sister.

“Wednesday this better be good.”

“Father didn’t Kill Garrett. Neither did mother.”

Wednesday said dropping a bombshell, which raises the eyebrow of the Twin.

“Then.. who did?”

“Himself.”

“Okay, elaborate.”

“Mother told me what truly happened, she was protecting father when he attacked, but Garrett was foaming at the mouth. His eyes didn't look human. Foaming saliva, dilated pupils, mental confusion. What are those all textbook symptoms of?”

“Nightshade poisoning…” (Y/n) gets it, and puts everything together.

“He was dead before Mother stabbed him…”

“There's only one way to find out.” Wednesday said, and (Y/n) frowns, he knows what that means.

Late in the night, at the Grave of Miles Garrett, the twins dig his corpse up, both going to the graveyard as they dig up his casket, Morticia stands above them, watching the two.

“This reminds me of when you got your first grave-digging kit. You were so happy, you nearly smiled.” Morticia said, (Y/n) grumbles.

“Are you sure you don't want to join?” Wednesday asks.

“Uh... mm... No, that's okay, darling. I don't want to spoil your fun.” She says.

“This isn’t fun, mother, Digging up graves is for knaves and psychopaths.” (Y/n) jams into the earth again and feels a loud bang, they stop and uncover the decrepit tomb.

“Moment of truth.” Wednesday and (Y/n) open the tomb, the waft of rubbish bond and decaying flesh hits their nostrils. Wednesday seems to enjoy it. (Y/n) isn’t as enthusiastic as his sister. He looks over the corpse.

“I was right.” She points to the inner pocket, seeing hints of a stained blue liquid.

“Nightshade..” (Y/n) reaches in and grabs a finger, and with a quick and sharp twist, effortlessly removes his finger.

“Alright, now.. all we have to do is—“

“Well, well, what do we have here?” Someone from behind all three of they spoke, the twins popped their hands from the grave to see a police cruiser aiming their headlights at them, the second in command.

“Guess there's gonna be an Addams family reunion in lockup tonight. You're all under arrest.”

(Y/n) is locked up with his father, and Wednesday with her mother. Wednesday stands there, silent, as (Y/n) Taps his foot, fuming. Morticia and Gomez were all over each other

“Get comfortable. You can post bail in the morning.” Sherrif Galpin glares at the twins and leave..

“Not even the long arm of the law could keep us apart.”

“At least we'll have one last night together.

Yes.”

“I've seen jackals with more self-control than you two.” Wednesday glares at her parents lost in love.

“Neither one of you are strong enough to serve hard time. And thanks to me, you won't have to.” (Y/n) stops taping his foot.

“I knew our little jailbird would have an escape plan.”

“It seems Wednesday was correct about Garrett, He died from nightshade poisoning.”

“The remarkable preservation of soft tissue and blue tint confirms it. Which means Garrett was dying...Before you stabbed him.”

“You look even more ravishing as an innocent woman!”

“For once, could you two get off of each other and focus.” Wednesday said, (Y/n) agrees.

“Yes, we need to get this to the mayor, and he will drop all charges, all we need is someone to bring it to them.. someone we trust.. Pugsley.” (Y/n) says

“No.” Wednesday replies flatly.

“.. Lurch?”

“No.”

“…Uncle Fester“

“Absolutely not.” Wednesday said, (Y/n) walks to the edge of the cell.

“Well what do you suggest then? break out of here?” He says, Wednesday walks over and snatched the finger from his hand, and suddenly, she had a vision.,

“Prove to me you're still worthy to be called my son! Kill all those outcasts! Sneak into that dance and spike the punch bowl.” Those words rang through her. She sat up from her episode and her family obviously looks concerned.

“Did you have a vision?”

“What happened?”

“What did you see?”

“The night Garrett died, he had a vial of nightshade poison that broke in his pocket.

He wasn't just trying to kill father. He was going to use the nightshade poison to murder the entire school.” She says, the family look at each other. A sly grin creeps along the face of her brother.

“Oh I’m going to enjoy this…”

“Thank you for seeing us at such short notice, Mr. Mayor.”

The twins stand before the mayor, after being in jail for approximately 4 hours.

“Yes, well, veiled threats have that effect.”

“Then let’s cut to the chase, Garrett Gates wasn't killed by a stab wound.” (Y/n) goes first, then Wednesday places the severed finger on his desk.

“That blue sheen is a telltale sign of nightshade poisoning.” Wednesday said.

“But you already knew that, dont you mayor? Because back when you were sheriff, you were in charge and covered it up.”

“Ansel Gates hated outcasts and Nevermore.

He claimed the land the school was built on was stolen from his family over 200 years ago.

Garrett went there that night to spike the punch and kill all the kids at that dance.” The twins deliver a fairly clear shut argument, and the mayor grumbles, and confesses.

“Ansel confessed the whole thing to me in a drunken stupor. It was his idea.”

“Then Why did you instruct Dr. Anwar to falsify the autopsy report? You knew the truth about how he really died.”

“Listen, my job was to keep the peace. If there had been a trial, Jericho's and Nevermore's reputations would have been trashed.”

“I think the only reputation you were worried about ruining was your own.”

“I remember Garrett bragging to me that his father had the sheriff in his pocket. One year later, you get elected mayor. Hmm. No doubt with the full support of Ansel Gates.”

“I resent your implication.”

“I resent the fact you decided to cover up a potential Genocide of an entire school by a bigoted drug crazed maniac to save the face of this place. The truth stings, doesn’t it mayor?” (Y/n) said with a cold bite.

“What I resent is that you could have prevented Garrett's death if you had done your job when I lodged my complaint about him stalking our Mother.” Wednesday snaps back, The mayor was at a loss, and gave in.

“What do you want?” He asks them.

“All charges dropped. Our father will be released with a full and unequivocal apology from the sheriff's office. Do we have a deal?” (Y/n) asked, and the Mayor gave in.

The twins exit the building as (Y/n) thinks, and decides to speak about it.

“Have you spoken to mother about your visions? You know she could help you. You’d only have to ask Wednesday, we’re family.” He said. Wednesday was silent for a moment, and he continues.

“We’re Navigating this, treacherous shoal of our sibling relationship. But I'm always here for you, Wednesday. Mother, father, Pugsley, unfortunately.” He says.

“I’ll.. consider speaking to her.” Wednesday says, and (Y/n) sighs with relief. Gomez and Morticia We’re Released and All hugged, besides Wedensday.

“Don't crowd me.”

The next and final day, (Y/n) approached Enids family with her Next to him, they stopped and he motions for her to go.

“Stick to yourself, I know you’ve got this.” He says, and Enid walks to her mother, ready to stand her ground. Enid approached and her mother was already hounding her.

“So, it's decided. Six weeks at Camp Howl.

You'll need to pick which activity—“

“No, I don't. Because I'm not going. Not this summer. Not ever. If I'm meant to wolf out, then I'm going to do it on my own timeline and not yours. I hope that one day, you'll finally accept me for who I am.” Enid turns and sees (Y/n) smile, giving her a nod of approval.

(Y/n) returns back to his family as Wednesday was reluctantly being hugged goodbye.

“Don't push it.”

“Well, at least we can't say Parents' Weekend wasn't a nail-biter.” Gomez said.

“I knew you didn't have what it takes to be a murderer.” Wednesday says flatly,

“As much as that stings, gracias, my little death trap.” Gomez gives his daughter a hug, and turns to his son.

“A devious as always, my boy.” Gomez grins and (Y/n) smugly bows.

“Of course, manipulating the mayor into freeing my family a stroke of genius.” (Y/n) replies, and he and his father continue to laugh about it, Wednesday and Morticia watch them, she sighs happily and then goes back to her daughter, and she hands her the yearbook.

“As I leafed through the pages of this yearbook, I was reminded of all the wonderful times I had here. But they were just that. Mine.

You have your own path to blaze. I don't want to be a stranger in your life, darling. If you need me for anything, anything at all, I'm only a crystal ball away.”

“Thank you, Mother.” Wedensday looked blankly at her, but under those eyes was love, the Addams leave, letting the twins look into the book, and at a page of Weems.

“Hm… her Judy Garland costume was phenomenal..”

“…no.”

“No?”

“That isn’t a costume… she looks exactly like her.”

“Wednesday that’s impossible, the only way she could if Weems could shape her body to match hers.”

“…like a shape shifter?” Wedensday asks.

“Most likely, yes.” (Y/n) replies; Wednesday immediately slams the book shut and quickly walks off.

“Wednesday?” (Y/n) asks, and she bursts into Weems office.

“I knew it. I did witness Rowan getting murdered that night.” Wedensday stopped at the foot of the desk.

“Excuse me?” Weems asks.

“When Rowan appeared the next morning, it was you. When you participated in the talent show, not only did you impersonate Judy Garland, you became her. You're a shape-shifter.” Wedensday accuses her, and Weems scoffs at her.

“That's a fascinating theory.”

“I'm curious to find out how Sheriff Galpin feels when I tell him.” Wedensday says threateningly, Weems stands up, slowly showing her towering height.

“You won't tell a soul, Miss Addams. And it wouldn't matter much if you did. Rowan's father already knows what happened, and he fully supports my decision not to involve the authorities.”

“Why would he agree to that?”

“Because Rowan was not in his right mind. His telekinetic abilities were driving him mad and he attempted to murder you twice. His tragic death allowed us to rectify the situation without casting the school or Rowan in an unflattering light.” Weems explains the cover up.

“You and Mayor Walker are the same, aren't you? Burying bodies to cover your dirty secrets.”

“I did what I needed to do to shield this school from controversy and protect its students from harm.”

“Tell that to Eugene. How are you protecting him?”

The two continue to bicker, until (Y/n) bursts in.

“Principal Weems, Wedensday… you have to see this.” He rushes back and the two follow out to the yard as they bear witness. Flames dance in their eyes, seeing words burned into the ground, this was a message, who knows the borrows that are yet to come

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[moochalove]

Last Nights Mistakes and New Beginnings (Part 4-5)(Final)

(yandere!kazuha x pregnant!reader x scaramouche)

Did you know they call me the yappinator? Anyways i’ve been meaning to finish it but i’ve been busy w school but now i have the time so i will be yapping away more (posting a little more)🗣️ Get cozy bcs this is long asf!

Reader is bi-icon! (+ trauma) If imma be fr, the beginning is a little off bcs i wrote it weeks ago (im lazy and i will not fix it🥶) ANYWAYS ILL STOP YAPPING! TY FOR READING 🤭 (if u do😡)

word count: Pretty fucking long ❤️

proofread: HELL NO! 😋 fill in the gaps/mistakes for me pls🫶

TW: Stockholm syndrome

Arriving at the mall you think about making a break for it but these heels prevent you from doing so. With enough for the heel would surely snap though… Noted. Reaching for the door handle you’re stopped and pulled into a kiss. It’s a little uncomfortable but you play it off with a smile, “Don’t worry Kazu, I’m not gonna run off~” “I know darling, but this is the start of our new life so allow me to take the lead. Don’t worry your pretty mind about anything.” With that, he places one last peck onto your face. Once again, he is opening the door for you and you guiding you to the some shops. Immediately you notice his firm grip on your waist, and it’s uncomfortable. He said you would be buying clothes but you now realize he meant he was picking clothes FOR you. You’re in the dressing room and he has you trying on all these cute coquette clothing. It feels a little uncomfortable but you try to get used to the feeling of the outfits. Some are loose, and some are tighter. In your mind, you already knew which ones you liked based on the texture, design, etc..

Whenever you came out to show off an outfit you felt like a real couple. Showing off your outfit and making comments, no matter what you wore he seemed to agree it looked good on you, even if you didn’t think so. Something feels wrong about this but you can’t help but smile when he looks at you so adoringly.

You guys go to about three more shops, all of them having a different theme. By the time you were done, it was mid-afternoon. Both of your feet were killing you… not to mention you were hungry… You both agree to stop and get something to eat.

You arrive at a very familiar restaurant… Weren’t you just here? When was that though? If it was important surely you’d remember!

•

•

•

Scaramouche was frantic, to say the least. You weren’t answering his messages… Has something happened? He needs to get to you asap, but how? What if you’ve been removed from your home? If it came to it he could ask his mother to track you down, since she had that kind of power.

Knocking on the door he’s anxious, and hoping he would be met with a bright smile and worried hushing telling him that you were okay. After about a minute he knocks on your room window… No reply. Should he wait around? No, that’ll take too long. After some contemplation, he decides to reach out to his mom.

They have a long talk before she eventually caves. It feels like it’s been forever since she’s seen her child and when he comes back he’s on an adventure trying to get his girlfriend back. She didn’t think situations like that existed but he’s shown her the possibilities are endless. The way he talked about you so dearly gave her the impression you were a thing. Since she’s such a good and caring mother, it’s the least she can do for her future daughter!

Maybe he should’ve emphasized that you were just friends even though he wished for more

From what some super normal and not shady people told him, you were last seen at that restaurant you both had visited yesterday. Why were you there? That didn’t matter right now! Furrowing his eyebrows he sat there and thought long and hard. How was he going to get to you? Kazuha would most likely be glued to your side so directly approaching was out of the question. Could he signal you to him from afar? No, that probably won’t work… Pounding his forehead slightly he couldn’t form a good plan.

“You seem troubled, Doll.” A sly finger guided itself through his short purple locks.

“What do you want, Miko? I’m busy and-“

“You know it’s nice to run away then come running back when you need help. Your mother was on edge for weeks. Spending whatever free time she had looking for her poor child. Always looking for you despite her own needs.”

“Did you come to ask me what’s wrong only to turn around and try to guilt trip me? You don’t change, do you?”

Without saying anything she placed a bag next to him and then made her way to the door. Peeking through the bad he looked back to her fleeting figure before shouting out, “Wait! What is this for? You really expect me to forgive you with this bag full of clothes?! Plus, this has girl stuff in it anyways-“ “Silly Kuni! This is to help you get your girl back!” “Excuse me?!” Miko sighed while shrugging, “And you say your moms are no help! C'mon, you have to think outside the box, silly!” Taking the bag back she pulled out the cutest dress you’ve ever seen along with tights and heels. “It’d be stupid to approach her directly. You have no idea what kind of mental state she’s in, she may not trust any other man or claim she’s fine with her captor.” Digging deeper into the bag she pulled out a long wig that happened to be the same shade as his own hair, “So you have to coax her out as someone willing to understand and help her out of the situation!” Before he knew it he was all dolled up, shifting uncomfortably in the dress and trying to adjust his posture and his footing, constantly brushing his much longer locks back while puckering and rolling his lips that had a gloss applied to them. Would this really work?

“Miko, I don’t think this is gonna work… I don’t make a very convincing girl….” he awkwardly fussed with his bangs before glancing over at her. Miko held her phone up and with a click and a flash the very image of… whatever this was… saved onto her phone and probably being backed up to her cloud. “Oh, you look just like your sister!” Placing her phone back in her bag she shooed him out of the car before, then rolled down the window offering a few words, courtesy of her never-ending-kindness! “Just be kind to her, her heart will surely realize who you are... Or don’t! Maybe she’ll see through all of this!” Scaramouche could only grit his teeth as she motioned her hand at him. “I’ll be waiting here so once she comes to her senses I won’t be far. Plus! Wouldn’t want you to try and be all hero-like only to trip and fall in those cuttteee heels of yours!”

•

•

•

Spoonful after spoonful you swallowed whatever food had been shoved into your face. Were you even hungry? Not that it matters. At this point, you’ve come to treat this as if it were a real date! Yet your heart doesn’t skip a beat when he cups your face. A couple of people do glance over at you both awkwardly but that smile of yours tells them you’re just a young couple in love. It goes on like this for a few more minutes before beautiful swaying locks catch your eye, it’s true you’ve been ignoring the faces of those who’ve been passing by, but this face is stunning. Your heart skips a beat when your eyes meet each other. Now something about all this feels familiar but you can’t quite pin it down just yet. Kazuha notices how your attention is drawn away from him and he immediately pulls your chin towards him, “Is something the matter my love? You seem distracted.” He bluntly states as his eyebrows furrow slightly in frustration. “A-ah, no, I just…” Perhaps you were scared or maybe still stunned by that girls beauty but you can’t seem to form a coherent thought. He shifts around in his seat a little, ever so slightly moving his chair to block your view of the girl. With a short ‘ahem’ you brush it off as just seeing someone you thought you recognized.

If you look past his intense gaze you can still kinda see her fussing with her long hair. A waiter shows her to her table that so happens to be next to yours. You bite your tongue to hide a giggle when you see her awkwardly try to walk in heels, maybe she’s not used to them? Once she sits down it’s obvious she’s not used to wearing such feminine clothes, the way she keeps lifting her feet off the ground and sliding them farther out, or how she pulls the hem of her dress down even though it’s past her knees. The way she covered her mouth and spoke in a quiet meek voice told you maybe she was shy. Kazuha glanced at you both, almost trying to understand the connection you guys had but signed in defeat, “I’m gonna use the restroom then pay for our food. Don’t go anywhere.” And with that, he was gone but surely it wouldn’t take him long to be back.

Scaramouche had to be quick about this. The least he could do is get you outside.

Trying to keep his ladylike demeanor he tried starting the conversation with something normal. Of course, this meant he would have to speak a little louder in order for you to hear in the louder environment. He would be lying to himself if he said he hadn’t “practiced” his female voice.

“Isn’t the food here the best?”

Taken aback by how cute she sounded you cover your mouth slightly. “She even has a cute voice!”, you thought to yourself. Once again stunned you take a moment to respond.

“Y-yeah!” your response is a little fast-paced but she just smiles in response. “Haha, you seem a little nervous, what, too stunned by my looks?” Even though he was supposed to be portraying a meek, innocent girl, he couldn’t help but still be cocky. It’s as if you were on autopilot with the way your response was the same yeah…

Part of you felt like that’s something he would say. Who was he again?

“It’s a little stuffy in here, don’t you agree? How about we get some fresh air?” The girl suggested so innocently that you’d completely “forgotten” what Kazuha told you NOT to do. As if you’d been under a spell you followed a girl you didn’t even know the name of out of the restaurant. Her name! You need her name! This can’t be the last time you see each other you need her contact info! You reach to where you would normally keep your phone only for your attention to be stolen away by her.

She handed you her phone that had a picture of a very certain cat. Your heart fastens as you start to recall some things, you couldn’t submit to someone who only half-loved you. No, you had to get home to your first baby. Tears threaten to spill as everything comes back faster than you can comprehend.

He didn’t love you, no, he never did. If he did he would’ve stayed the first night. He was just looking for something to sedate his own woes. You come to the realization that your delusions you made up to protect yourself were false. You haven’t been in love for years like your mind had told you, you don’t know what he really feels, you just filled in the blanks with lies your mind fed you. In reality, you’ve probably only really known each other for a couple of days, during those 4 months you spent pregnant and alone your brain spun a story as if you were real lovers. Hating yourself could come later but for now, you need to get a grip and get out of here. Suddenly you’re caught up to speed and all it feels like you’re gonna vomit, your clothes feel tighter and you can feel your own skin, every pore feels open and you hate every second of it. What feels like hours is only a matter of seconds.

A hand is gently wipes your tears away,

“It’s time to go, Y/n.”

“I cant.. I’m sacred. I-“

“Don’t be. I'm here now, and I’m not letting you go.” He looked so serious, although a little funny since he was still in his getup.

Reaching for your wrist he gently and slowly led you farther away from the establishment and closer to your getaway car.

Both of your steps got faster and faster. You didn’t want to look back, no, you shouldn’t.

A voice you’ve come to hate shouts out to you. Ears pound loudly and your heart skips several beats when you hear fastened footsteps approaching. A wave of pain crashes onto you when your lower back aches in pain. You stop even though you don’t want to and clutch your stomach in retaliation.

You have to move right now otherwise he’ll catch up. Scaramouche turns back around for you and effortlessly picks you up and carries you to the car. When he turned to place you in the car he’s sure Kazuha has seen his face. Crap… Not like it mattered right now. He rushes to the other side of the car but is pulled back by a hand that is placed on his back, it’s cold and uncomfortable. Almost as if it triggered something in him he shouts and pushes him back into the ground.

Once Scaramouche is in the car Miko doesn’t hesitate to slam on the gas pedal and get you both somewhere safe.

Final Part:

When you wake up you’re in a very comfy bed. Moving your legs a little you wince uncontrollably. Memories come flooding back and your eyes dart to where Scaramouche is sitting. A smile makes itself known on your face and you reach out to him. He melts into your touch but avoids looking at you. You know you messed up big time by not running away from Kazuha like you should have… But you were in a deranged state! Surely he won’t blame you completely. Breaking the silence you ask him what’s wrong.

“I know we kinda just met but I hope you know I love you…” he trailed off, still avoiding eye contact. “I always have… It’s a shame you don’t remember me. If you did then I guess you could technically say we didn't just meet.”

Huh? You two knew each other? Maybe he’s got the wrong person. Innocently you ask, “Have we met somewhere before? I’m sorry but I don’t seem to ever recall-“ “Just take a good look at me and try to recall. We used to be playmates when we were little. Your parents were busy like mine so they would drop us off at that one daycare.” Your eyes squint as you take a good look at him, “And we went to school together for a little while- I tried stealing your pen-“ Eyes widening you can’t help but burst out laughing.

Now you remember him!

“It’s you! I- How could I forget? Oh my gosh, it seems work has made me forget my younger days!” Covering your mouth to hide a smile you can’t help but laugh a little louder. His face seems upset but eventually melts into a smiling one along with you. For a couple of moments you both laugh and exchange playful banter. Everything in the world is right at that moment.

But once again, your mistakes will catch up with you.

After the laughing dies down he squeezes your hand and places a handle on your stomach. This causes you to shift uncomfortably but you try to play it off as a cramp.

“When the Doctor came to relay your status he told me one bit of information that… you probably didn’t want me to know.”

Oh shit. Oh shit- Your heart fastens and you try to muster out a response but it hitches in your throat. “I-I canexplain p-please let me-“You fumble your words and tears pool up in your eyes.

With an affirmative squeeze to your hand he smiles softly, “It’s okay.”

“But it’s not- I messed up and now-“ You covered face with your hand, attempting to hide yourself away from him.

“And now- we can work this out, together. I promise I will do my best to be a good parent. If you’d just give me a chance- A chance to take care of you and your child. I would do anything to be with you once and for all. Please, Y/n, don’t leave me again.” His hand came up to yours pressed against your face, and slowly removed it from you.

A part of you feels raw, and exposed, yet, this time it’s different. Part of your brain tells you to run from his affection but the other part feels so defeated that you just want to cry into his chest and beg him to stay with you. Lucky for you he was willing to stay with you. Even if you were going to have your kidnapper's baby. Leaning into him you cried out all your sorrows that had been bottled up for the past couple of months. All he could do was rub your back and listen to you cry your heart out.

It felt good to finally tell someone how you truly felt. How much has been troubling you? Although you’re sure if you were to tell this to a professional you’d been locked up….

After you’re done crying you wipe your tears and take a deep breath. Your chest and shoulders feel lighter. The whiplash of everything could hit you later, you couldn’t care less right now. All you wanted to do was eat, stretch, and take a nap.

Scaramouche looked at you dead in the eye and you feared the worst. Was he joking? Did he actually hate you and never want to see you again? Did-

“Goddamit- I dropped my wig…”

You stare at each other for a second before you burst out laughing. “That’s a shame! You didn’t look half bad in it~” you joked. “Oh please- You were head over heels for me and you know it!” “Ah, you got me there! Who knew you’d make such a fine girl! If only you could say the same about you know-Ow!” he punched your shoulder gently, but considering your current state it hurt more than he intended. “I’m sorry, Y/n- I-“ He checked the area to see if it was bruised or anything but was immediately met with a flick to the forehead. “Ow-!” “Haha, got you!” “You little-“

Both of your bickering would soon die down as soon as his parents would enter the room. It was obvious how you both turned stiff as boards. Acting as if you weren’t pulling each other’s hair like you once had.

Ei placed some flowers on the bed stand and Miko would sit down on the bed with some sweets in hand. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Miss Y/n.” Ei bowed politely, “I’m not sure if my son had mentioned us to you. If not it’s alright- But we are his parents.” Miko started feeding some cake with a fork as she nodded along. “I’m very happy to see you make my son happy. It used to worry me that my son would die alone-“she feigned a tear falling from her eye. “MOM.” Blush spread across Scaramouche’s face as he crossed his arms. “Ah, excuse me, that’s beside the point! What I mean to say is that you shouldn’t worry about the wedding founding- Your new moms will buy you everything you will need-“ “THATS NOT ANY BETTER!” He exclaimed even redder. She smiled so innocently all while still looking a little confused. Miko finally chimed in, “What she means to say is that she supports you both no matter what. Even if you don’t think she agrees with you,” she turned her head towards him, “she believes you both will make the right choice. We hope you both can treat this as a new beginning. As I like to say, carpe diem!” “You never say that.” Ei tilted her head with a soft smile. “Well, I do now!”

All four of you burst out laughing. You guys talk a little more before they leave for their business dinner. Once again you and Scara are alone.

“Are you really sure you’re okay with marrying a pregnant woman?” “Of course I’m fine with it, since it being you and all.” Rubbing the back of his head he laid his head down on the bed, “Are YOU sure you wanna get married right away? Just because my mom mistook us for dating already doesn’t mean we should skip that part… Plus, what if you don’t like who I am…” You pet his soft purple hair with a smile, “Well, as long as you promise not to be a complete asshole, then I suppose we’ll be just fine!” “You think I’m an asshole?” “Haha, anyways…. What kind of wedding cake should we have? I was thinking of a [favorite flavor] cake! Ooohh and we can look at the different types of venues! Ah, I guess after that we need to plan a baby shower!”

He’d completely tuned you out and just stared at you, lovingly. Your skin glowed perfectly from the artificial light, and that smile of yours was perfect. You no longer looked tired and stressed; instead, you looked happy and not so tired. He couldn’t blame his ex-friend for falling for you. Although he feels a little jealous that he’s seen parts of you that now belong to his eyes only now.

Fingers tap up and down on the bed as if he’s contemplating something. You take notice and tap his shoulder, you ask if he’s listening. Suddenly he gets up- His soft lips are placed against your slightly chapped ones. It’s warm. Your eyes widen in surprise as you slowly melt into the kiss.

Once he pulls away you’re both gasping for air. Out of embarrassment, he hides his face in your neck. He’s embarrassed- you are too. “A-a little warning would’ve been nice. I was talking yknow?” “Shut up before I kiss you again..” You knew he was too embarrassed to do it again so you teased, “Yeah, I think you’d like that-“ Instead of another passionate kiss he instead peppered kisses all over your face. “I hate you.” “I love you, Scara.”

•

•

•

The wedding went amazing since his parents had done most of the planning (of course you both directed them) And your baby shower went just as well! Initially, you were both worried a certain someone would catch wind of it- and you’re sure he did. Thankfully the place was heavily guarded (, courtesy of Miko) and was also in a secluded area, along with there being a very strict guest list. You both already knew the gender so the part just consisted of fun baby shower games and many gifts from your friends and families.

You had been getting intensive therapy for the rest of your pregnancy. Those couple of months left you with deeper wounds than you had thought. Of course, you still have trouble with going out on your own and you’ve completely dropped going out (since you’re a mother now ofc) When you do have to go out alone you wear your hair differently each time along with a mask and sunglasses. Whenever someone gets a little too close they happen to get stopped by someone. Your bad dreams usually consist of you trying to run away but your legs move slowly or trying to scream but nothing comes out, and other things you’d rather not discuss...

Your delivery went well and luckily you gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Ei and Miko informed you that you had a week to name him. On the fifth day, you and Scara decided on [name], since you both liked the name and agreed on it. When both of the families came to see him you got the chance to meet Scara’s aunt and sister (who both happened to be named Makoto, although Scara called his sister Raiden since she was “scary”) The boy was blessed with your hair color (he has a red streak through it) but had his fathers eyes. At first, it scared you but with some affirming words from both sides of the family and your lover, you’ve grown to love them.

Some of your friends and family didn’t approve that Scara wasn’t the father, some even berating you and calling you names. The name-calling mostly came from Scara’s side of the family. Area

On your son's first birthday, he spoke his first words. “Mama!” You nearly cried tears of joy when he said that. Scaramouche frowned and pinched the boy's cheeks gently with a huff. Much to his surprise the boy spoke again, “Daddy!” Now both of you were crying tears of joy. You swaddled your boy in the softest blankets before you both cuddled him off to sleep. Both not believing you had been blessed with such a joy.

Once your son has gotten a little older he learned how to say the cat’s name, always gesturing his hands and babbling, “Meowmeow!” The now healthier cat would come to the boy and rub its head against your son accompanied by a purr.

Once he turned two years old you noticed how he started taking after his father, often mimicking him by making an angry face and huffing. All you could do was smile and kiss him while his father pouted behind you both. One time you had joked around with your young son by asking him, “What face does daddy make when he’s angry” and your son crossed his arms with a scowl on his face. You burst out laughing while your husband messed with his hair pretending to be upset.

You went back to work while Scara was a stay-at-home husband. On stressful days you would come home, sore and tired, but the moment your eyes laid on Scara’a resting figure along with your sons. Well, your heart simply melted into mush as you took about 30 pictures of them from all angles. You were convinced that all of the time you spent alone and suffering was worth it for this moment.

It felt like that person was a bad dream- but now, you’re wide awake and ready to face the future with your loving husband, and adorable son.

Gawdamn I don’t stop yapping🙏 If you read all of this ty pookie!! there will be a $10 mil block of gold under your pillow when you wake up 😍😋 I will be writing some hcs (maybe) and a scenario where u encounter kazuha w your kid soon!!! (i promise) Anyways i’m knocking tf out… BAI><!!

♡ taglist: @swivy123

#genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin x y/n #genshin fluff #fem!reader #genshin angst #kazuha x reader #pregnant!reader #scaramouche x fem!reader #angst to fluff #stockhom syndrome

[luffyvace]

Izuku x male reader

This is fluff so it’s gonna be sweet but don’t expect only “cute baby Izuku 🥺” bc I’m writing accurate to canon him/manga him 😜

(Your a UA student in class 1A for these<3)

Izuku’s Love languages are acts of service and quality time

even though quality time sometimes get scarce because class A is hectic

its called quality time not quantity time

Its about how you spend your time together, not always how much

although I will say you make as much time for each other as possible

you guys train, eat, nap, jog, watch tv/videos together

And of course make lots and lots of jokes

you two have so many inside jokes class A doesn’t understand 😂

It fine you don’t explain it, it’s funnier that way

he does you lots of favors for acts of service

you really don’t even have to tell him!

its the little stuff like, cleaning up a mess for you, getting your jacket when he knows your going out, reminding you about tests and to study!

which on that topic you two study together when you can

but izuku is really busy and spends a lot of energy in the day

As we saw in some episodes he goes to sleep as soon as he makes it in his room

but he does his best!

your likely busy too! Like I said UA is pretty hectic

Even though he has a lot on his plate, he makes time for you

he does lots of little things for your relationship

weekly mental check ins where you sit down and talk/vent or chatter if the week has gone good

video game marathons/competitions

going out to events together likes pop up festivals

buying each other clothes spontaneously

(oops this is coming off really gn let’s switch it up<3)

when izuku realized he was in love with a male..

it made no difference

No fr mha is modern enough to have the clock app why wouldn’t this kinda thing be normal

he might not have realized he was bi before you though

originally he thought he was straight bc he always got flustered around girls

but when you came around and made him feel way more nervous than any girl ever had??

yeah you know that bi panic meme?

he got a slap of that

💥💥

Homophobes is not the worst he’s run into tbh so now that he stands up for himself, he will stand up for you and your relationship as well!

he doesn’t really have the best roasts or whatever but he certainly doesn’t let them get away with it!

forget them tbh let’s move on to a more wholesome topic 💗

Meeting inko!!

when she found out you were a guy she raised her eyebrows then slowly smiled

she was 100% supportive!!

izuku wasn’t really hesitant about telling her or anything because he knew his mother isnt judgemental

when she meets you she’s ecstatic!

she makes a savory dinner and probably shares way too many adorable stories about izuku’s past

Which he gets really embarrassed and you guys end up in his room after so she can’t keep rambling

random but I also feel you and izuku also read manga together

If you like it :)

training with him is..harsh to say the least 😀

like fr no holding back for either of you

If you don’t have a combat compatible quirk this is basically a one-sided beating

only playing!

but seriously he’s letting loose

”what if this was a real battle and you were in danger?!”

”ok but..your punching me like IM the villain”

you’ll be aight 🙂

He told you about his quirk depending on how soon you two met

If you met in middle school or before he likely told you like straight away

mb all might he couldn’t keep it in

if you met in UA, However, he probably either waited a few months after you became friends or started dating

he tells you when your friends if your instant best friends but if your just the occasional “hi m/n!” Then it’s likely after you two get together

pranks.

Yes they happen.

him to you, you to him

you still teenagers after all why not?

if your feeling a silly goofy mood what better to do than surprise your partner? 😋

oddly enough, once you get close enough in the relationship, I feel he’s the one that initiated them!

you guys only do innocent little things that don’t hurt anybody, of course

annoying each other also happens

not in the actual annoyed sense

just the type where your like “BRO STOP!!” But your still smiling 😂

like idk putting one putting their feet next to the others face typa thing

again still harmless

your never really mad at each other and you always make jokes and laugh it off in the end

heroes.

how could I not talk about this?

they’re his favs!!

not to mention I hope your fav hero all might..

bc one, his room.

and two, his rants.

like you’d have to explicitly state you either have a diff fav or are just tired of the rants bc…..bro will go ON.

If I’m gonna talk about heroes gotta talk about villains too right?

so izuku tells you that he wants to save the villains

and that he sees children in them

unhealed, scarred, children.

he rants to you about this on mental check in days

and you listen, he appreciates that.

he gets the feeling no one gets him in that sense, and even if you don’t at least you hear him out!

izuku so so so loves you!

it’s super sweet that you so so so love him too 💝

Writing for izuku is so easy! I love writing for my favs bc thoughts pop out like poop :)

(LOL). No seriously I wrote this faster than expected. Hopefully I clear drafts soon so I can open requests :^

#anime #anime and manga #luffyvace #anime headcanons #fluff headcanons #fluff #mha #mha anime #mha x reader #bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #midoriya izuku #boku no hero acedamia #my hero academia headcanons #my hero academia x reader #my hero acedamia #boku no academia #boku no hero manga #mha izuku #izuku midoriya #izuku x reader #bnha izuku #midoriya #mha midoriya #bnha midoriya #mha x you #mha x male reader #my hero academia x you #mha headcanons

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

Thank you! So, for the last several years I thought of myself as bisexual, but I still feel like I’m lying to myself. That maybe I’m just straight. I don’t get turned on by women as much as men. Although I’ve realized that my obsession with men (it is, in fact, kind of an obsession, I myself feel it) is a result of an abusive father, then a stepfather, and my overconsumption of porn since I was like 6. That’s actually a whole another topic, I fucking hate pornography so much. It feels like it ruined my brain. I still feel like I get turned on by extreme stuff. It’s disgusting and I feel like a vile human being. But getting to the initial topic - I don’t fantasise of women in such context as much as of men. I don’t think I ever masturbated fantasising of a woman… And it feels like a cornerstone for me. I often think I’m just delusional , or I want to feel included somewhere. That I’m just straight. I’ve never been in a relationship with either sex. As of now I feel like men dont interest me as much and I don’t want to date them, but I still feel this “obsession”. I don’t know how to get rid of it.

I didn’t have any crushes on female characters or real life girls as a kid, I think. So that’s another thing… But I did have a crush on one girl in my college. I think I’d still feel butterflies in my stomach if I saw her. But one crush compared to my many infatuations with men doesn’t seem enough. Also, even if I fantasise about being in a relationship with a woman, it feels almost strange. Because I feel as though I’m not good enough. Or that I’m an imposter. I’ve had one girl who had interest in ME (which I can’t believe in to this day), but I didn’t like her back. I still lived with my mother than, and I remember telling her about my complicated feelings on this and she just disregarded it all. Saying that I’m straight and it’s time I stopped lying to myself and trying to be trendy, that I’m not a lesbian. (I’ve never called myself a lesbian, I don’t know why she said this).

I guess getting a crush on a woman and this feeling being mutual would help me realize if I’m actually bisexual. I mean, like entering a real relationship. But that’s another thing - I mostly get crushes on butches. And it makes me always think, and I know this sounds so wrong and disgusting, but - what if I like butches because they are similar to men? What if I just like men and this is some sort of projection?

I’m sorry if this was too graphic and long. You don’t have to respond to this. Also thank you for your time

hello darling! first off - you can relax. it sounds like youre putting a lot of pressure on yourself. bisexuality isnt 50/50. some are more same-sex attracted; some more opposite. and it can change: for example, the older i got, the more attracted i became to women, and possibly due to allowing myself to feel that attraction (because in my experience admitting to yourself you are bi is one thing, learning to allow that attraction another; we are raised in a heteronormative society and kind of have to learn on our own how to deal with our same sex attraction) i also initiated more with women. i think theres a lot less chances because there are just not as many same sex attracted women, and then you have to be attracted to her and she has to be attracted to you, etc.

im sorry you were exposed to porn this early, and that the men in your life did this to you. this probably has a huge influence on your sexuality and especially how you perceive it. again i would recommend you to allow yourself to breathe, what will happen will happen, if youve felt attracted and had romantic feelings for women before and you know a woman who gives you butterflies you are likely right in your assessment. i also think straight women dont think about it this extensively. as bisexual women men are the „easier“ option (as in, more potential partners and established norms of behavior, social expectations etc; and men tend to be more offensive in flirting and initiating stuff) and i think if you never had a woman return your interest there is this doubt which is on top enforced by womens bisexuality often being questioned and mocked, something we internalise.

please feel free to reach out via direct message if you are comfortable with that, youre more than welcome to. and please, dont stress yourself! you have nothing to prove to anyone!

#ask #lb #oh and by the way i have issues with obsession too

[bluegekk0]

Is there anything about your au that you haven’t had the chance to talk about because it hasn’t been asked?

hm, this is a bit hard cause im pretty sure i share a lot even if not directly asked about it hahah

though i supppose a topic i might have only mentioned in passing and never talked about in detail is feral pk and his sexuality. sure, he was married to the white lady and is now together with grimm, but it's not as simple as him being bi/pan. i actually headcanon that he was closeted gay for most of his life, and in the most complicated way possible (as expected since it's pk). the marriage to wl, while they had a strong emotional bond, wasn't actually true love, not on pk's part at least. he just wasn't aware of that, as he grew up an outcast and never had a chance to explore his sexuality and feelings. when he changed forms, the white lady was one of the first beings who showed him kindness, and he enjoyed her company, so he assumed that it was love and married her

was he lying to her for the duration of their relationship? you could say that, yeah, though he wasn't fully aware of it. i think she eventually realized that he wasn't romantically or sexually into her as much as she was into him, so i imagine it was part of their divorce. though i headcanon wl as someone who's very understanding, so i don't think she would be mad at him for that. it would hurt, yes, but in the end she couldn't really fault him for it as it's something he clearly hasn't figured out himself. plus he never cheated on her (sure, there was the dalliance between him and herrah, but it clearly never went anywhere), so she had no reason to actually be angry at him

as cheesy and self indulgent as it might be, it was grimm who helped pk figure it all out, though again, it was way more complicated than it probably should have been. because pk was convinced that he and wl were in love (even if he clearly didn't know what that meant exactly), he didn't think too much of grimm's attempts to woo him, most of grimm's subtle (and not too subtle) signs fell flat as in pk's eyes they were close friends. he did feel strange around him, the weird feeling in his stomach wouldn't leave him alone for as long as grimm was in the room, but he was clueless enough to never make the connection. he didn't feel the same way around his wife, so it couldn't have been love, right? it had to be something else, maybe grimm just had that aura to him? he was a higher being after all. that's how he explained it in his head, at least. was it silly? absolutely, but his brain just works like that

he wouldn't truly connect the pieces until after the hibernation, when he had a lot of time to think back and realize how much he missed grimm. i think that's when he realized they weren't just close friends and that there was something more to their relationship, but at that point he thought it was all for nothing, as he believed he would never see grimm again (and even if he did, so much time has passed, he was convinced that grimm already forgot about him). so when he learned that grimm was still in dirtmouth, he had to take the chance and confess his feelings, and luckily for him, they were still mutual

i realize this may seem like a dig against his canon relationship with the white lady, or a cheesy attempt at making his relationship with grimm "the right one", or maybe even me being a contrarian for the sake of it, but it's not like that. i think wl is a neat character, i don't hate her, i actually love the wholesome fan content between her and pk, plus i do think they were happy together (well, until the vessel thing at least). i just think it adds another layer to feral pk and his whole thing of putting everyone else above himself. he was so occupied with his idea to create a kingdom, to help the bugs in it live the best life, to save them from potential danger, that he never took the time to think about himself, even something as obvious and simple as whom he loves. plus it goes well with the idea that by trying to be someone he really wasn't, he was lying to everyone else and causing them pain. he wasn't as great of a king as his subjects thought him to be. he wasn't as flawless as hollow saw him to be. and he didn't truly love the white lady the way she loved him. because he never figured out who he truly was, he unintentionally made everyone around him suffer. there's a lot going on in his head that might not make sense, and i think that adds more depth to him. at least for me personally

i apologize if this isn't something you were hoping for, anon, but i really wanted to talk about it cause it's been on my mind for a long time haha

#ask stuff #feral pk au

[aemiron-main]

i think what's so funny about the bi Mike narrative is that you flat out have to ignore canon scenes. "boys only"? doesn't mean anything, only Will's "a day free of girls" means something. Mike and El's severe family coding going back all the way to s1 where they explicitly discuss being cousins and siblings? doesn't mean anything either, that's just there for fun, their romance should be taken completely serious and not be uncomfortable at all. Mike seemingly realizing he doesn't want to be with El/wants to be with Will when she kisses him in s3? coincidence, it's not because he realizes he doesn't like El, it just happens to happen while a girl is kissing him. Mike resorting to a disprovable lie about love at first sight during his monologue instead of stating the real moment he realized he liked her? completely random🤭

if your interpretation of canon is that solid then why are you avoiding certain scenes? and the few people i've seen tackle them always need to go on their tangent of how "it's not like that" or you're "reading too much into it". so obviously El saying she could be Mike's sister doesn't mean anything and is just random filler dialogue, it's not supposed to make you feel any particular way. Mike having a similar girls excluding line to Will is only gaycoding for Will, Mike is just being silly and goofy duh, it's not that serious, and so on

it's fine to have whatever hc or interpretation but it's weird to me when ppl straight up say it's just as valid as the interpretation that's actually applicable to all of the show. the narrative that there is a good argument for bi Mike to be made and that ppl just don't post it anymore because the gay Mike truthers (who only hang out on their blogs) are so mean is hilarious when i know i've seen every bi Mike take last year and wasn't convinced by any of them. if there is such a good argument for bi Mike then why don't i see more posts? bc despite the current victim complex, gay Mike was the original pariah in the fandom until people had the guts to start posting analysis. the fact that half the people on here now subscribe to gay Mike despite that interpretation only not getting you screamed at since a few months ago does say a lot about how convincing both interpretations are. because just maybe, the fact that there's more gay Mike believers than bi Mike believers (don't even know if that's accurate i don't know the tag anymore, but it's what the bi interpretators are saying) is because people see it as more plausible, and not bc they haven't had the pleasure to see a bi Mike post yet

seriously, just your gay Mike takes alone go way back and were pretty unusual at the time. and it speaks volumes to me that most serious anaylzers and theorizers subscribe to gay Mike exclusively, while the blogs that post more for fun and provide regular character and ship content and interact more with the tag and "community" on here like bi Mike. it's almost like... bi Mike is more fun as a hc but narratively inferior to gay Mike, which is why all the serious show analyzers are so adamant and passionate about it

ANON YOU WENT OFF WITH THIS!!!!!!!! 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 ABSOLUTE FACTS 10000000% REAL LIKE I HAVE NO NOTES IM JUST CLAPPING AND CHEERING AND NODDING MY HEAD WHILE I TYPE THIS!!!!!!!! That’s SO true about how the more serious analysis blogs tend to be gay mike truthers whereas the more for fun/posting solely hc stuff blogs tend to veer towards bi mike. And with that said, I think there’s also an element of that dynamic that’s tied to how that solely fic/hc section of byler tumblr tends to get fairly weird about The Actual Show sometimes (such as a bunch of them being appalled that people would bother to try and analyze henry) & try to stay in this weird “all headcanons are textually valid” space (even though thats not possible) because that whole group is so eager to jump at the throats of anyone who makes a minor misstep. Like this does NOT go for *everyone* who is just having fun/posting ship stuff, many of those folks r wonderful, im talking abt a particular group of popular/vocal folks in that circle, and there’s definitely a dynamic at play of “smh someone CRITICIZED another TAKE from SOMEONE ELSE, they are SOOOO rude smhhhhh everything is canon and valid” which makes people not want to step out of line/not want to have actual firm opinions on things.

But god uh my little tangent aside, this is so real and well-put, anon. Like you said, if there’s so much evidence for bi mike, then why arent people posting it instead of posting posts whining about how somebody said that there’s no evidence for bi mike? Like. Post your evidence then. Do it. I still laugh about one big prominent bi mike blog that posted awhile back about how they COULD disprove all the gay mike analysis but they WONT. and it’s like. girl. we know that you won’t because you CAN’T. If you could, you WOULD. And oh my god people acting like the familial parallels are just random filler dialogue makes me INSANE and what makes me more insane is when people (specifically the fucking idiots on twitter) act like pointing out the obvious mileven familial parallels is weird on MY part. As if IM THE ONE THAT PUT THEM THERE?? AS IF IM CONDONING INCEST?? LIKE GO TALK TO THE DUFFERS THEY PUT THEN IN THERE NOT ME!!!

And god yeah you just. You said it ALL, anon, like this is perfect, like people can have hcs or whatever i dont care but dont act like theyre equally textually supported. Because theyre not. And pointing out what is/isnt canon in the show isn’t biphobia, as much as God’s Whiniest Soldiers would like to believe it is. Gay mike ws absolutely the pariah before, and it’s SO funny to see bi mike truthers acting like anyone who disagrees with them is a Big Bad Mean Person who is Exploding Bi Mike Truthers With A Biphobia Laser. I have asked 163748596969696 times for someone to give me bi mike evidence that doesn’t heavily rely on outright ignoring the existence of other scenes in the show. And nobody’s been able to do it. Because mike is gay & the show is written with gay mike in mind. And god yeah the whole me getting screamed at over it thing is so funny in retrospect because people were literally mad at me for “disturbing the peace” as if this is fucking hobbiton and i’m gandalf after dragging bilbo baggins off to the lonely mountain & being labelled a disturber of the peace for it. like oh nooo ive got my gay little hands all over your peace. So what. Block me. Kill me if you can. Just do SOMETHING other that whining in my inbox like youre a 50 year old home owners association leader who got a noise complaint because i sneezed too loudly. (and when i say you, i dont mean You, anon, i mean the collective whining bi mike group who haunts my inbox).

It makes me insane. Every day. To see people willfully ignoring evidence that disagrees with them & trying to shoehorn evidence into working just for them to bring out the flimsiest analysis youve ever seen in your life & have a fucking fit when people point out that it’s flimsy. Again, anon, you said it ALL.

#stranger things #byler #mike wheeler #gay mike wheeler #st anons

[creampuffqueen]

soo if you dont mind me asking, do you know when or why you started coming to some kind of realizations that you were bi (or possibly lesbian)?

i have lived my entire life convinced im straight but after some things i realized that i may be bi. But i dont know. i dont think im a lesbian but i also know im not fully straight, you know?

please don't answer if this too personal or uncomfortable, i dont want you to answer anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. you can totally ignore it.

I saw your post about talking things through with your friend recently and i'm really happy you were able to have that open conversation with someone you trust about yourself, despite what your label or sexuality may be ❤️.

if you do choose to answer this, thank you in advance. i appreciate it.

of course i don't mind you asking!! honestly i'm very flattered and honored to be asked this as i'm certainly no expert on sexuality or anything like this, but it makes me happy that my blog is a safe and welcoming space for someone who has these kinds of questions!

so, here's sort of a quick and dirty rundown of my sexuality journey. (i ended up putting this under a cut because it got a bit long whoops).

for starters, i grew up in a christian household in a small, conservative town in the middle of nowhere texas. my parents are far from being fundamentalists or anything, but they just... never spoke about other sexualities. i didn't even know being gay was an OPTION until i was about 12.

in middle school, many of my friends began to discover/experiment with sexuality and gender labels. i never really did, i always felt content and comfortable with my attraction to boys. (or, due to recent realizations, my supposed attraction to boys. but we can touch on that later).

then, some time around when i was 12-13, i had an Experience that made me begin to question things a bit.

i was at a sleepover for a friend's birthday party, and after a long night of fun we all fell asleep in her living room in our sleeping bags. i was the first to wake up in the morning, and in order to not wake anyone else up, i stayed in my sleeping bag and played video games on my phone. at one point, another girl woke up, and since we were the only two awake, she came and sat next to me. i didn't know this girl too well, she was a mutual friend of the sleepover girl. but at one point, in order to better see what i was playing on my phone, she crawled inside the sleeping bag with me.

and i just remember feeling warm all over as she laid next to me. i was struck with the sudden desire to pull this girl close and cuddle with her. i don't remember anything else about that sleepover except this one moment early in the morning.

i went to school the next week and spoke about this with one of my friends who knew they were queer, saying that i thought i might have a crush on this girl and wondering if i could possibly be bisexual.

and... my friend told me that no, i didn't have a crush on this girl, i clearly just wanted to be Really Really Good Friends with her. obviously. comphet hits even the queer middle schoolers, apparently.

and so after that i was like 'okay then you're the expert! guess i don't like girls :)' and then literally didn't think about it for the next 2-3 years.

time jump to 15 year old Mal, stuck inside during the Covid Summer of 2020 with nothing to do. my brother and i decided to watch Avatar: The Last Airbender for the first time together to pass the time. i saw Suki on screen for the first time and felt something in me Change.

i've always had fictional crushes, you know? but nothing like this.

and as all well adjusted gen-z kids do, i made a bunch of memes about it. at first they were all jokes. just, 'lol, look how much i love this fictional character'.

but after a while i began to realize that i wasn't exactly joking anymore.

so there you have it folks, suki from avatar made me like girls.

but even after this realization, i still wasn't exactly comfortable with calling myself bisexual. i went by queer for a little while, before eventually settling on bisexual. now, ATLA was my first introduction to the world of animation. i began to watch a ton more animated shows after finishing it, and in all the shows i often found myself more drawn to the female characters than the males. don't get me wrong, i still enjoyed those characters, but i was OBSESSED with the girls.

and after i went back to school in person, i did begin to notice that what i originally thought was just wanting to be friends with girls was running a bit deeper than that. i had my first real girl crush (i stopped liking her after she trashed the legend of korra to my face though).

and that was my life for the last few years! i was very happy with being bisexual, and i am very lucky that i have such a supportive and accepting friend group. coming out to my friends was so easy and i've never been worried they wouldn't accept me, which is great.

and now, for what has led me to believe i might possibly be a lesbian.

i got my first boyfriend my senior year of high school. he was an absolutely wonderful guy. i've always been pretty 'picky' when it comes to men. i get crushes very easily but if a guy starts to reciprocate then they have to meet this high list of standards i have composed in my head. and this guy met them all.

by all accounts, i should have been SO happy. like i'm not even exaggerating when i say that this boy was basically perfect. he treated me so well. my friends and family adored him.

and yet, something just didn't feel right. i started to get very nervous about being alone with him. i started getting annoyed whenever he texted me. i started avoiding seeing him, avoiding having him come over. eventually it got to the point where i decided i just had to end things, because something was off with me and i didn't want to string him along when he deserved better. i broke up with him and didn't shed a single tear.

everyone was pretty confused, but eventually got over it. i thought that perhaps it was just a fluke. it was my first real relationship, maybe i was just nervous.

but then it happened again this year in college. i met a great guy on a dating app. we had fun together, he was really nice and respectful. we never made it official, but we spent enough time together it was basically a relationship. and then, again, when everything should have been going well i started feeling the same things as before. anxiety, annoyance, avoidance. i broke it off with him over text and felt relieved when it was finally over.

after that, i began to consider the possibility that i was never attracted to guys in the first place. i lost sleep over it, i was thinking so hard.

and then i thought to myself 'i don't think people who are attracted to guys have to think this hard about it'.

so since then, i've been entertaining the possibility that i might be a lesbian. it's still a journey, and i'm working on being okay with the in between stage i'm in. i don't want to put a definitive label on myself until i've been with a girl, which isn't something i've had the opportunity to do yet.

and that's sort of all the major events in my life that i've had in regards to my sexuality!

i hope this has been of some help to you, anon! i also just want to add in some reassurance as well. sexuality can be a complex thing, so don't feel the need to rush into a new label if you're not ready yet. everyone's journey is at their own pace, and you're not 'less' bisexual if this is something you've only recently discovered about yourself!

i wish you all the luck with your self-discovery, anon! and my inbox and dms are always open if you have more questions!

#ask box

[bucksbabyblues]

it’s been a bit over 24 hours and i’m finding myself crying over bi buck.

im bi and had a girlfriend for about two days back in my freshman year of high school. I had just realized i was bi and it was scary. she told me she loved me like a day in and i freaked out.

I also come from a mormon background so being into girls as a girl was scary. i lost so much sleep over someone from church possibly finding out. so i had to break up with her.

seeing buck realize that he likes guys too means so much to me. but also seeing how tense and afraid he seems on his first date with tommy and with eddie walking in, in the trailer means that much more to me.

It’s scary figuring out who you are and not being fully out yet. so having bi representation is amazing. and having buck who i relate to so much be that rep makes it that much more important to me.

#911 spoilers #evan buck buckely #tommy kinard #911 on abc #bi buck #bisexual #bi representation #evan buckley #im never going to shut up

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

I am so sorry if this may sound ignorant (I have been doing online school for about 3 years now and havent really been around many people my age for a while so I don't know if this plays into my question or not)

I have 2 questions

1. I use the pronouns she/her (it's just what I have always been comfortable with) but I prefer to were more masc or boy stereotypical clothing I guess you could say. Now I do like girl clothes but not as much. I think im just confused if it's a body thing or a gender thing because I like masc clothes so much since they just fit my body better I definitely feel more comfortable in them, but I also like to wear fem presenting clothes as well that may be more form fitting. And you know sometimes I want to put on a suit and strut around in it and sometimes I want to put on a dress it just depends.

2. I am very confused about my sexuality lol. I don't think I realized people could even be more than what society had already deemed as normal and around the age I would have probably began to explore my sexuality covid hit and everything went online. (For reference I am about to turn 16 and would have been 13 when the pandemic hit) I feel the same when I see an attractive female as I would an attractive male (this goes for anyone really if I find them attractive I can feel attraction to them, whether it's a platonic, romantic, or sexual attraction genuinely don't know) I also am fine reading sex scenes but whenever people talk about it in person or if I watch it on tv that's when I get uncomfy and I genuinely can't see myself having sex with someone (idk if that will change or not) but im fine with seeing myself being in a relationship and cuddling expressing my love for a person and sometimes kissing (it depends)

I am so sorry that this was sooo long and all over the place my brain is all messy when I don't plan things out before I write or say anything, and you don't have to answer of course this was just me ranting about how I have no clear thoughts as to who I am yet and it feels good to get it off my chest lt even if you don't answer or even see this.

Thank you genuinely it feels good to talk.

No need to apologise!! I’m here for u :] That’s good, I’m glad writing this ask helped you feel better—try and write shit down sometimes, even if it’s just hastily typed into a google doc and immediately deleted. Shit’s magic honestly.

Preferring or liking masculine clothing doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re transgender. Like obviously it’s a possibility but it’s not like, oh I like pants instead of skirts that means I’m a guy!! You could be trans or you could just be a girl who likes different types of clothing.

My advice is like, don’t sweat it too much, and just do what makes you happy. If you like masculine clothing, fucking go for it!!! I’m sure you’ll slay 100%!! If you wanna wear form fitting stuff, go for that too!! Just. Do what makes you feel like yourself, and do what makes you feel happy, don’t worry about labels and am-i-trans-am-i-cis and all that, kay? Just Vibe!!!!!!

I’d suggest you consider mspec labels, which means attraction to multiple genders, labels like bisexual and pansexual, or just plain old bi and pan might be good for you!!

You can look into the asexual spectrum, which is basically all sexualities that aren’t like 100% allosexual (allosexual means like. most of the population and how they experience sexual attraction.)

Yes, attraction can be confusing. And yes, it’s possible the stuff you feel might change. Maybe you’ll feel sexual attraction someday, or maybe you never will!!

But go with what you like *now.* If bi feels good, go for bi! If asexual feels good, go for it. If you wanna change it later, that’s okay!!

I’m gonna give you my standard new shoe advice—yknow when you have rlly shitty old shoes but you’re used to them, and when you get new shoes you’re like wtf these are really weird, but then you eventually realise they’re much more comfy and you were just used to the shitty old ones?

New labels can be kind of like that. So like, if u try a label and it feels Weird, ask yourself if the weird is a “this is the wrong shoe size” weird or a “i need to break this shoe in” weird.

Hope I could help you out!! Sending my love, and I hope you find what makes you feel happy and feel like yourself!! Have an amazing day <333

#ask #helping out a questioning person

[nose-bl]

my aroace Imogen headcanon, welcome

i don't know about you but i'm reading imogen as aroace and i think it'd be cool if she actually was, so

the way she looks when nick is talking about feeling like he doesn''t fit with her and his friends, and feeling like he's been pretending and his real personality has been burried deep inside. imogen looked sad when he said this and said she understood what he meant. which makes me think she feels like this too

imogen has an "intense" crush on nick, or so it would seem. to me it just feels like she was convincing herself she liked him, she picked an objectively attractive and cool guy to have a crush on to tick that off from a list of things "normal" teens do. it's like, after she got rejected she only looked sad when nick talked about feeling different, and she overall took the rejection really well, almost as if she felt relieved that that was over?

she immediatly was cool with it and was even happy to see nick with charlie. obviously teens can be mature about this and take rejections well, but this feels specifically like she just didn't really care! like she took some Steps (telling nick she likes him, asking him out, etc) and now she doesn't need to keep pretending or following those Steps

anyway next thing, i just think it would be really interesting if this girl that initially only had nick on his mind turned out to be an aromantic asexual girl who was unconsciously pretending to be head over heels for a guy to mask the fact she doesn't actually like anyone in that way. i would love that, and i would love it if imogen and isaac bonded over being aroace. maybe even isaac could help imogen realize

the potencial of a friendship where there's a bisexual guy who fancies multiple genders and will comment on how attractive random people are, and an aroace girl who will just say eww whenever she's asked if she fancies a random person. idk, it's a fun dynamic to me

imogen is still going to be there and part of the main cast, which means she's gonna have some relevant stuff happening. while it would be cool to have another bisexual character so we get two different perspectives, i just feel like being aroace would be so much more impactful for imogen's character, it fits so much more. (i would still love it if she was bi tho, im fine with whatever)

and last but not least, imogen is very aware of the existence of lesbians and bi girls, she knows liking girls is a possibility, but what she probably doesn't know is that it's also possible to not like anyone at all. i personally would prefer it if she came to realize aromantic asexual people exist and that that's an option that works for her

anyway you can not agree with this but i just love the idea of imogen being aroace, or bisexual and somewhere on the aro spectrum

#heartstopper #heartstopper imogen #heartstopper tv #heartstopper comic #heartstopper netflix

[nelly-wants-to-b-skinny]

I've been wanting to do this but I'll just do it all together :)

1. weight- 185, chest- 41.2, waist-34.0, hips-44.0, thighs- 28.0

2. 5'5, yes im totally okay with my height tbh

3. we have a very similar body type so i feel like it's the most realistic for me

4. tbh just losing my dd boobs that's it.

5. im tired of being the big and ugly friend, i owe it to my young chubby self to finally be pretty.

6. define binge lol. to me if I eat normally i define that as binge. but tbh I don't think I actually binge idk.

7. yes they do, however they don't know how far I'm willing to go. but they don't. they're actually happy I am.

8. i would do cardio 3 times a week, and then do core 2 times a week, but now im doing chloe ting workouts so :))

9. 100% all the time, I've hears it ever since grade school tbh, and it's literally ruined who I am and my relationship with food.

10. i guess my love for baking, it's been really hard baking for my friends and family and not having the opportunity to have these things yk.

11. lol i don't have one hahaha.

12. hmm that's a good question, i usually stick to fruits i try to stay away from meat and dairy, however it's not always easy. but for a good day, I'll have my black coffee in the morning and then like a garden salad in the afternoon.

13. definitely unhealthy lmao, I will starve myself until I lose as much weight as I can.

14. 120lbs, it used to be 140 but that's how much my sis weighs and I wanna be smaller than her

15. I'm neither but I seriously am considering going vegetarian bc I didn't eat meat for 3 days and lost literally 7lbs so I just might.

16. I've always tried to lose weight, yk go on a diet, work out, however this year I realized I was going to go on vacation and I needed to look pretty for my pictures so I decided to go back to my old habits and I triggered my ed, it took some time like 2 months until eventually in the end of March I started thinking the same way once again. I would starve and calculate calories.

17. im not sure. I don't want to say yes since I'm not diagnosed, but I will say I have disordered eating 100%.

18. cheese. ik ppl are gonna scream, but I love it so much lol.

19. hmm actually a while back I think like a couple weeks ago maybe I month.

20. ballerina diet ahhh or maybe the iu diet.

21. triggered. lol I'm usually a L/XL for jeans I'm a 14. bra size is 38DD.

22. damn idk bruh, I remember when I used to be 160, that's the lowest number I can remember, that's when I started weighing myself and it ruined me. I don't remember gaining weight tbh, I think it was when I was recovering.

23. absolutely. growing up I watched eugenia a lot and i loved kpop in ms so I would always wonder what it would be like to be skinny like them.

24. uh i don't like them, but that's me personal. I'm not someone to encourage this illness to someone else.

25. yes. I've done it multiple times. my first time was at a party actually. I had eaten 3 slices of pizza and my stomach hurt rlly bad I had told my friend and she told me she'd find me laxatives or smth I told her no. so I hard searched up what to do and I found a reddit form about purging I did exactly that and threw up as much as I could. it was so bad I was crying bc I felt to bad but my stomach felt better. I think that's when I realized I could enjoy my food but also not consume calories.

26. CLOTHES. finally getting to wear what I want and look pretty no matter what. ugh I can't wait.

27. i try to slip into a mentality of like food isn't fuel it's trash, and it's gonna make you rot.

28. I'd love to, i want to lose as much thigh fat as possible I don't think i could think bc of my family genes

29. anything but me. I don't think beauty can be defined. to me beauty is a subjective what is beautiful to me is not beautiful to you.

30. im hispanic. i have curly hair. im bi. i have a gf. i like to bake. i can't swim. i have insomnia. i have social anxiety. i love kpop. coffee is my bsf.

#bonespø #ed but not sheeran #i wanna be thinner #tw ana shit #ana and mia #st@rve #i wanna be perfect #tw ana diary #tw ana fast #i want to be small #skinsp0 #tw ed diet #tw ed implied #tw restrictive ed #eating disoder trigger warning #tw disordered eating

[courtofmatchups]

Hello! I was wondering if I could get a matchup? I’m bi so any gender is fine. I use she/her pronouns as well. For personality I’m creative, introverted, and individualistic. Though I’m introverted, around my friends/when I’m comfortable I can be quite talkative and humorous. However, I definitely treasure my alone time the most. Im a very big homebody and can be very hermit introvert sometimes. As for bad traits, I am sometimes the worst pessimist when it comes to myself. I’ll be fine motivating others but then when it comes to me I live by the “be ready for the worst and you wont be disappointed” As for hobbies escaping to new worlds while reading books/comics, watching movies, and playing rpg video games. My favorite genres are fantasy and sci-fi, though I do love a good classic from time to time. Apart from that, I love working out. My interests on the other hand are art focused. I’m currently in art school working with mostly digital mediums, though I sometimes work with traditional. I love my practice and everything including, game, web and interaction design, video art and visual effects, 3D modeling and character design, and digital illustration. Sometimes I whip out graphite and ink. A list of random likes: coffee, chai tea, dark chocolate, rock/blues/jazz/80s pop/soundtrack music, cafe art shows, arcades, comic book stores, purple, thai/Indian/Chinese food, roller blading to classic rock, quality alone time. A random list of dislikes: people i am unfamiliar with and have to make small talk with, the biting cold, rain, non fiction, staying too close to reality and not being allowed to daydream/imagine/roam freely in my thoughts, physical touch, overly crowded areas. I think that’s it thank you!

It seems to me you've captured the heart of...

The Lone Flame:

Lance Ira

(A/N: WOW. This took forever to write. I had university assignments that are a higher priority for me 😳)

I hope you're into slow burn because this burn will be incredibly slow. It is worth it in the end, however, since he realizes how similar you are. You give off some major black cat energy, and I feel like Lance would quite appreciate that. He's also a bit introverted, so the first time you'd meet is during a class you're both basically conscripted into taking. You might laugh, but the way you'd actually get to know each other happens in the most "Wattpad" way possible: the two of you are paired up for a project kind of like what happens in his own route.

As he gets to know you, he takes more interest in what you're into. Of course, some of the more modern things you're into are a bit lost on him, but he's more than willing to hear about them. I headcanon that he also has an appreciation for art, so whatever artwork you'd make he'd absolutely adore. He may even ask you to draw him and Gruscha if you're okay with it. He'd even keep some of your pieces for himself.

If he does make it to Earth, I think he'd also like your more modern interests. Heck, I think he'd even do some of your favourite activities with you.

***~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***

(Earth AU because, why not?)

To say that the experience with your paramour on Earth was bizarre is putting it quite lightly. The ubiquitous nature of technology here is dizzying to him, much like magic was to you when you were unceremoniously thrown into Saligia. It took him a while to learn about the magicless world around him, but he managed in no time with your help.

Once he's got his footing on Earth, you took him to places you thought he'd enjoy: restaurants, parks, arcades, as well as some comic book stores. He quite enjoyed his time there, mostly because he was with you. Of course, he was still a bit lost, but he still enjoyed himself. His favourite activity was roller skating at an empty park with you.

You: All right, over there?

Lance: Yep. I must say, no matter how much I do this, I can never get enough of the thrill

You: Tell me about it. By the by, what do you think of my playlist?

Lance: I quite like it! It has all the classic rock songs you and I like, but it feels a bit different

You: That's because I made the playlist with the two of us in mind

Lance:

Lance: Hahaha! You're a precious one, you

***~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***

#court of darkness #court of darkness matchups #court of matchups #lance ira #lance ira x reader #court of darkness x reader

[possessionisamyth]

things i need to unpack

-the gender thing

I remember bringing up the possibility of talking T to a sister in university to which she immediately dissauded me saying i didn't need it and shouldn't do that, no idea what her intentions were or if she was trying to be supportive but i guilted that idea out of me by doing research and convincing myself its not worth the effort, i still dont know if i think its worth the effort or not, but i do need to sort through this

i also remember discovering the term androgynous and running with it only for a group of well meaning friends to further prod me on the definition as if that weren't enough (this was during the time where a bunch of lgbt terms were being brought back into the normal language while others where being created) so I don't blame them but it did kinda make me hate labels if mentioning one meant id be asked to constantly elaborate

-the sexuality thing

I floated between a lot of labels as i was learning them, the first one being bisexual since in highschool there was only gay straight or bi, and a lot of queer online discussion changed between me graduating high school and me leaving university

did latch onto the term "demisexual" when it dropped because it felt like me, but was questioned again when trying to explain it and was told "isnt that just what everyone does?" didn't take this response as maybe they were on the same wavelength and proceeded to have the most uncomfortable and irritated relationship with the concept of asexuality ever since, resorted to sorting myself into simply having a low sex drive and maybe not having met the right person yet, didn't help that the people i was dating or interested in at the time were all some level of shitty or uncommunicative sometimes with the bonus of expectations on me I couldn't meet

realizing now that ive guilted myself out of the idea and it just mixed in with my weird and fluctuating relationship with my body making me feel justified for being a dick

-other thoughts

Also realizing now my people pleasing habits, desire to not be a burden on anyone, and letting my own feelings be ignored or bottled up for the sake of other people's comforts did just as much hindrance for my personal journey as learning all the new information helped said journey

i lashed out at people i shouldn't have, over stepped boundaries i didn't comprehend, and came off all wrong when i was learning to set my own boundaries and trying to hate myself less, there were a lot of pivots trying to curb that self hatred, some better than others, others that resulted in me having to navigate around these coping methods i no longer need and no longer help me

I think i do have a lot of unspoken anxiety about whether im allowed to be angry or sad or upset about myself and my relationships because there have been many times where i try to voice those feelings and I'm told I shouldn't respond that way, and ive unfortunately done the same to others, and i think i do need to let myself sit in my bad moods so i can actually process them instead of trying to constantly shove it to the back of my mind and pretend it isnt there

and i can recognize ive said things that have hurt people or made them upset because of all of this shit ive listed and i cant go back and fix most of it because my running into those people are very slim and thats just the nature of life

But, i think to really sort of heal I'll need to start saying whats for me and that what i say is enough

So I think i am demisexual and androgynous nonbinary and I think if i ever want to start taking T that'll be my decision and no one elses and i still have to unpack the baggage and the guilt but i can keep moving forward, and if those labels change than thats good too and it wont be because someone else made me feel bad directly or by accident for making a decision

#aris advents #gender stuff #body stuff

[harley-michaels-main]

Hi! Can I please have a Haikyuu matchup? It is absolutely fine if you cant!

MBTI: ENFP

Hogwarts house: Hufflepuff

Random fact: I’m associated with the color pink a lot and I’m bi 🏳️‍🌈 she/her prounouns

Looks: 4’11 female, pear body type, brown skin, dark brown eyes, dark brown short hair, long lashes, eye bags, thunder thighs, Big pouty lips (the one thing I actually like about my face) and a few freckles. I also have reading glasses

Personality: I’m very shy and reserved at first, you will definitely have to make the first move cause I refuse. But once you get to know me it’s a 180, I go on long rants about literally anything and everything, (if I have a shit day I recommend ear plugs) Im dramatic, loud, energetic, super Sarcastic, Honest, funny, childish, forgetful, and pretty go with the flow! I’m a pretty rational And logical person I think about pros and cons and probability and am usually aware of what is going on around me. I will try to break down what the problem is and find a way to solve it. I can adapt pretty well in social situations I know what to put out for certain groups and can just adapt to situations generally. Then there is the other part of me that is completely impulse and emotional even tho rational wins most times if I’m stressed good luck with getting me to make good decisions. I like playing around but have hard lines with boundaries when it comes to physical touch at first. I have anxiety real bad and I’m worried that my friends actually hate me and have a hard time being myself. I love making people laugh I think I’m pretty smart but I have no common sense. I’ll tell you random facts I just learned for the hell of it. If I was to describe myself in another way I’d say burnt out gifted kid who just said F it. I’m sneaky. I thrive off praise and people cheering me on especially at sports events and will work harder for criticism. Im a “I’ll do anything for 5 dollars” kinda person. Im low key kinda a know it all and a smart ass I always have something to say and I am not one to sugar coat. I’m a huge foodie! My love language is physical touch and giving gifts, especially food! I’m pretty caring if your sad I’ll bake for you and try to emotionally comfort you as much as possible and friends have told me I give good advice, I’m very protective of all my friends and family, Im pretty creative I laugh at pretty much anything.

Cons: i accidentally overshare, I get frustrated really easy.I am prone to procrastinating and giving up sometimes even if Ik the deadline is tomorrow, its hard to get motivated to do anything without someone being on my ass about it but once I start I can continue without much pushing as long as I don’t have too many distractions. I’m emotional I’ll cry without realizing it, I’m very stubborn. Behind closed doors I’m very clingy.

Likes: working out, reading, sleeping, going out to party’s with friends ( yea ik a girl with social anxiety loves partying and people I’m just as confused), milkshakes, fashion, world building, drawing, animated movies, STUFFED ANIMALS!!! I love cuddles, sports (cross country, volleyball, and wrestling) writing story’s, blankets, cheesy romance novels, I love cooking and eating new food from new places! Shopping, fantasy stuff.

Dislikes: being dirty. I can get sweaty, muddy, messy but if I don’t have a shower there will be hell to pay, I don’t like eating or drinking after people, felt fabric, dolls, The cold in general, sad movies, coffee, being sick, being picked at for my height.

Random fact: I’m the shortest girl on all my sports teams, I played all around for my volleyball team and then got moved to right back and server.

Hi Darling. I hope you're doing good and I have to say, I wish you would love more than just your lips because you sound like a beautiful girl and I'm sure anyone would find you gorgeous and if they don't, then they must be blind.

Your Haikyuu Match Up is...

Sugawara Koshi

Y'all are the type of couple that people thought you were going out before you actually started going out.

You two simply compliment each other so well that it's hard not to think so. Honestly, there was no drastic change when you two started dating.

In the words of Grey's Anatomy, he is your person. You person that you can tell anything to and the person you go to when you have trouble. He is the person that you trust with your life.

Koshi is always the one who will be at your side in times of happiness and sorrow. He will wake up in the morning and his first words will be telling you how beautiful you are.

He knows the feeling of self-doubt and he understands it well which is why he constantly will be there to help you.

However, he will need the help as well. He may try to hide it, but he isn't the best liar in the world.

For those times when you are dared to do something dangerous, he will pull you away before you attempt to make a fool of yourself because let's be honest, we all make fools of ourselves.

Koshi will always be there to lend an ear when you feel the need to rant. He loves to listen to you talk and if you want his advice he is more than willing to give it to you.

Koshi's love language is words of affirmation so it feels nice to him whenever you talk to him about your troubles. It makes him feel more validated in a way.

Don't fret though because he will always be there to tell you how much you mean to him and how much you help him even if you don't think you do.

He also loves to get you small memorabilia for every date. Anything from a quick photo to some jewelry, he likes to know that you have something to look at and remember these moments buy.

However, Koshi isn't perfect and does have his flaws. He tends to push you away when he has his rougher days. He says it's because he doesn't want to burden you when in reality he is too scared to show you that he is afraid of a lot of things.

It definitely takes time, but he has gotten better at opening up to you and realizing that he isn't a second choice to you.

Altogether, he is someone who will be your person as you will be to him.

Alternate Choices

Osamu Miya

Keiji Akaashi

Daichi Sawamura

#haikyuu #hq #hq!! #haikyuu!! #haikyu #haikyu!! #match up #sugawara koshi #sugawara

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

For two years ive been saying i was bisexual but im constantly questioning if im actually bi or just idk appriciate womens beauty. Ive always been more attracted to men but there has been some women too. Ive been told that my problem is probably being raised in a homophobiac family and so Im probably just struggling with accepting myself but idk. I just feel like i haven t been attracted to enough women to be consideded bisexual. I had like an internalized arguement with myself the other night cause i started worrying what if im not bi and i was like straight girls dont do that (my name). So then Im like what if I am not bi and just overly sexualize women but not actually attracted. I have had two relationships one was with a boy and the first time we dated it lasted for a week and then we tried again and it lasted six months. The second one was with a girl that legit only lasted two days cause I chickened out with all the what if im not bisexual and just leading her own and omg I Don t wanna end up hurting her cause it turns out im not bi. And now i think I might have a crush on my best friend (shes the same girl i tried to date for two days) but when ever I start liking imagining us together i panick and distract myself by daydreaming over my current favorite man or woman celebrity. My mom has changed and now she jokes and says me and my best friend would be cute together and my step dad always jokes about how shes the one for me and i blush ( I haven t told either about my possible crush). I dont wanna even attempt talking to her about it cause one: I doubt she still likes me. Two: what if she does so we try again just for me to panick and end it again or we try again and I turn out to be straight and hurt her. To make matters worse we have been talking about moving in together. I just want to figure out who I am before attempting anything cause i dont want to hurt her. It feels weird saying i might like her and it scares me. Im sorry if this got confusing im just tired of questioning if i really am. Im also scared that maybe I just "like women" cause men like it. Like what if I do it without realizing thats the actual reason? I tried talking to my step dad and he didnt hear my concerns he just said your probably actaully straight and then when onto ask if i ever kissed a girl and i was like no ive never kissed anyone so he said well you gotta actually experience the stuff to know (idk if thats true but i heard you didnt have to have any experience at all) with both men and women I can imagine myself with them as long as i dont actually know them personally otherwise I panick and deny the crush as hard as possible low key have a fear of relationships cause almost everyone on my moms side was always in a toxic relationship (idk if it works like that but it kinda rubbed off on me that it would happen to me) I currently have this favorite woman celebrity who i make up little scenarios in my head for and it works but if I pause the story for just a second all this negative thoughts come in. Ive tried imagining dating my best friend who I might have a crush on but I cant it feels weird and wrong cause we have known each other for so long and at one point she was more like a younger sister even though shes only a few months younger and it just feels iffy. Ig I also tend to like women who are more cold and like badass and most the time older than me (with men they tend to be around my age or slightly older and with women they tend to be late 20s or older). I also feel like maybe I just like the aesthetic of a cute soft girl with a goth girl or other wlw aesthetics (mostly soft and goth girl idk I just really want that). Like what if i dont like women i just like wlw aesthetics

This message is a little all over the place so excuse me if I am misunderstanding somethings or didn't take everything in completely. What I gather is that you are young (teenager?) and riddled with self-doubt about your sexuality, which isn't helped by the fact that the people you try to confide in, like your step dad, are responding with biphobic stereotypes and misconceptions. I'm just going to try to sort through some of the themes that you touched on and give a brief opinion on it. At the end of the day only you can decide which label suits you and you can make of my input what you will.

Internalised biphobia: a lot of what you are saying just screams internalised biphobia to me. the fact you even mention a homophobic family could certainly be one reason for this but also society in general tends to be biphobic as well and we just pick up on that without even realising and then when we start to realise that we are bisexuals we get tormented by all of these intrusive negative thoughts about bisexuality. you are not alone with this - many bisexuals have to go through that unfortunately. but there's ways to unlearn your biphobia, some advice on that I have collected here, maybe it helps you. one aspect of internalised biphobia can be believing in misconceptions and stereotypes. for example the idea that "women are just pretending to be bisexual because men like it" is a classic biphobic myth. if anything this is for many women the only way to explore their bisexuality in a "socially acceptable" way. the stereotype of the "college girl who makes out with other girls on parties when drunk" might have a grain of truth to it but not because those girls are faking it but rather because this is the only scenario in which a heteronormative society gives them permission to experiment. another aspect of internalised biphobia is not believing in your own experiences and attractions. you have stated multiple times in your message that you are attracted to women. you've said it with different words but you say you have a crush on a girl, you have female celebrity crushes, you even noticed that you have kind of a type when it comes to women.... now imagine you'd have said all those things about men - would you then doubt that you're attracted to men? Probably not. But about women you have some double standard because of the internalised biphobia. Instead of seeing alll these expressions of attraction to women and taking it as a clear hint that you are bisexual, you think you are doing something wrong or "not queer enough".

attraction is a good thing: so many queer people, especially queer women are afraid of "oversexualising" women and being "predatory". but that's again just internalised queerphobia mixed with sexual shame. you are allowed to be attracted to women. you are even allowed to have sexual thoughts about women, to fantasise, to dream... and yes, you are also allowed to desire actually having sex with women and if you find one who wants to do it with you then you are allowed to do it. that's not "oversexualising" in any negative sense of the word. But yes, it means you are seeing women as sexual beings and that's okay because guess what? Most women are sexual beings. It is okay to "sexualise" someone - when it's only a fantasy then it is always okay because fantasies do not harm anyone! and when it's actually happening then it's okay when it's consensual. When you are physically intimate with someone, of course you sexualise them. If they consented to is then that's probably exactly what they want in that moment. It's okay. It's good and healthy.

you are still young, take a breath! I would like to remind you that you are still young and for most young people who are starting to explore their sexuality this is a confusing time because you are literally only just starting to learn what sexual or romantic attraction feels like and what types of people, what genders, what personalities, what aesthetics and body types you are drawn to. and btw: your step dad is wrong. you do not need to have experiences with all genders, or with anyone even, to know whom you are attracted to. I've never kissed James Spader and yet I know that I want. so why would you have to have kissed a women already in order to know that you want to?

"what if im not bisexual and just leading her own and omg I Don t wanna end up hurting her cause it turns out im not bi" listen... anytime someone enters a relationship they accept the risk that they might get their heart broken. ideally when a relationship ends it's on good terms and everyone involved mutually agrees that splitting up is for the better. but of course sometimes relationships end ugly. you can never guarantee someone that it will last forever. you can never guarantee that you will always love them or always be attracted to them. and likewise, they cannot guarantee this to you. it's an unrealistic (and I'd say also unhealthy) expectation to put on a partner. sometimes people fall out of love for many different reasons. maybe your personalities don't match, maybe you want different things in life... or, yeah, maybe you realise that your sexuality and their gender doesn't align. so what? your partner might get hurt if you have to break up for some reason but that is the risk that they took when they decided to enter a relationship. taking risks and making oneself vulnerable is part of life. I'm not saying that it won't hurt if/when that happens but I'm saying that I promise you (and your potential partner) that you'll get over it. I'm gonna say it again: you are still young. you are making your first experiences in the world of romance and sexuality. it's normal to be overwhelmed and to not know exactly what you like or want. you are just learning these things. but you say you want to "know who you are first" before dating a girl and tbh I think that's not really gonna work. how to have a relationship is something that you don't just know. you learn it over time... and you will make mistakes and you can either fix them or next time you get the chance try not to make the same mistake again. but you cannot learn these things all on your own. you need to engage with others and make those mistakes together, you know? which brings me to my last point...

communication: you seem to really like this girl and all that's keeping you away from dating her is your fear of doing something wrong or "using her". have you told her any of that? have you experessed your fears and explained why you "chicked out" last time? having an open conversation about this might dissolve some of that worry. maybe she has similar fears, maybe she doesn't think it's a big deal and wouldn't mind to be "an experiment". if you go into this openly saying "I am insecure about my sexuality, I am not sure if I am really bisexual but I do really like you and I would like to try this dating thing. I hope it's okay for you that I am not sure where this is headed yet." and then she can decide what to make of that and decide for herself if she wants to date you under those circumstances. I know it's not that easy to have these conversations but this is also something that you need to learn if you want to have fulfilling and healthy relationships with people. You said yourself that your family has a history of toxic relationships. I'm gonna take a wild guess that open and honest communcation is something they struggle with so as a general relationship and life advice: learn to talk about your fears and emotions. it will get you much further (and happier) than trying to handle it all on your own and never telling anyone what your concerns are.

Maddie

[abvfluxing]

Several months ago i told my roommate i wasnt interested in looking at a new place to live, bcus at the time i figured there was a good chance i wouldnt still be living in ohio in the next several months to year. (I never told her why i didnt want to look at new places thankfully). Bcus i thot things were going to keep moving in a positive way with him. Very stupid of me.

I waited 6 months on two things. "Idk how I feel " and "we will meet in person". 6 fucking months of waiting patiently.

And when i finally bring up the first thing i get "well i don't think i feel that way... but who knows what the future holds". Wtf. half a year and you still cant say it decisively. I tried so hard to take that as a definitive response and move on, but it wasnt and i couldnt. Bcus im an idiot.

After the first cancelled meeting i waited. Then a second cancelled meeting. And he says "well im not going out of my way looking to pick up trips to go that way, itll happen when it happens". I keep waiting. One day i try to sincerely explain how much its hurting me to wait to meet like this, and how much I want to take the initiative and plan a trip to his city. And how worried i am about the whole "flight school" on the horizon since its going to most likely alter his schedule in such a way that him and i will have so little free time at the same time. And how that scares me bcus it feels like the first step to losing him completely. And this is another reason im pushing to make a meeting happen.

So Making it very very clear that i only would want for one small simple meeting, like a lunch, and that if thats all i got with him that would be enough bcus i also just really want to travel somewhere and see things jve never seen and that taking a plane by myself is a very scary thing, but if im going somehwere where i know a friend is on the otherside it gives me the strength to do something so extreme for myself, i mean im someone that gets stressed and anxious just trying to go to a store or run errands. He says "no, i cant guarantee it would work out to meet, and i dont want you to spend all that money and be disappointed" also "im not out to my family so itd be comllicated to have you over as anything other than a friend". First of all, im not even allowed to try and make something happen. 2nd with weeks ahead of time anybody can plan for a single lunch to happen once out of 2 or 3 days possible. 3rd it must not matter how important it is to me, to be able to try and do something like this, how little i expect how little commitment im asking for it, how unobtrusive im trying to be but also experience something. It doesnt matter. 4th, what the fuck is that second excuse coming from? I didnt ask to meet your family, i didnt ask to come over to a family dinner and ve introduced as your boyfriend. How is that a concern when ive made it clear none of that is expected? (Well stupid ass me thinks only someone thinking of doing those things would randomly bring them up when they were not previously stated). 5thly, if you had a job that would literally PAY you to go and visit your alleged "best friend" ... wouldnt you kinda fucking want to do that? Wouldnt that be cool as shit? If i could get paid to visit some of my friends, i think maybe i might try and make that happen every once in a while. So he wont take a paid trip to see me, and im not allowed to pay for my own trip to him. Kinda really sounds like "i dont want to meet you". Only took this dumbass about 8 months to realize that one.

The last couple of weeks ive been trying to act "normal ". Im not messaging him everyday, even tho i want to. And it fucking hurts me. And idk how he feels about it, or if hes even noticed. Not like he would ever really tell me the truth anyway. So im an idiot and an asshole.

I can't even get him to say something as simple as "i want to spend time with you" i tried so hard one night to see if he could even say that much, it didnt work. Bcus im an idiot.

We had two big fights recently too. The one everyone could see where he made it clear he thinks im stupid as shit. And then a second one a few days later while in a discord call. He was upsetting me so much i had to hang up on him before i blew a gasket. Then i explained to him why i got so upset and his response was "wow you got upset over someone elses opinions". He was going to let the night end like that. Soni explained further why I was so upset. And he said something like "ok". And i had to be like "do i even get an apology?" (After i had already apologized for hanging up and getting upset, earlier in the convo). And only then did he finally give a half assed barely covering the problem apology. But I took it and rejoined the call after calming down a bit more. Once again i was being stupid and an ass.

Ever since those two fights i feel like i get treated like shit all the time. Like he is mad at me about stuff but cant even remotely bring it up outside of treating me like shit. But then the one day he streams its all "this is the game brad recommended for me, he knows me so well" blah blah blah. And weirdly nice replies sometimes. Like clearly something is up. But more likely im just an idiot.

He was trying to talk to me the other day, just a couple days after my "worst day" of the very very bad past two weeks. I told him "sorry i havent been feeling well". Him "oh are you sick. Me "well not like cough cough sick". Him " then what is it?". Me "its hard to say out loud". Him "oh ok".

And that was it. No reassurance, no "im here", no "i understand but you can talk to me if itd help". Nothing. Is that really how someone responds to their "best friend" clearly not being well? Its hard for me to tell bcus im so stupid.

And then the announcement earlier. Came with no warning to me. Last i heard he hadnt heard back from any places. And hours before he posted that he asked what I was doing, and i was playing totk amd watching gdq with the roommate. Not really a good time for him and i to play a game together that would take the main tv in the living room. So he said ok have fun. And i said "if you want to hang out in a call thatd be cool". Him "well id have to go in the other room, ill just stay in the living its more comfortable". Me "ok well lmk if you figure out how to use discord in the living room and id be down to hang out". Him "id either have to wear headphones and not hear the game or put you on speaker and youd hear my game. Which is so annoying". Me "i normally use headphone and just leave one ear uncovered to hear the game. Also so when my games have been too loud". Him "its mostly my friend nate 'blah blah blah" convo ends. And a couple hours later we get that announcement.

Hes got his next two months planned out basically. One month of "working back to back" which contains two weeks off, one of which an international vacation! Lmao. Followed by starting school the next month. two weeks before my birthday! How perfect! I messaged him and told him im happy to hear that he finally heard back from a place. And that im happy for him. But im also so fucking pissed. Ive told him how this school thing coming worries me, and he makes a group post instead of telling his "best friend" first. Isnt that fucked up? Once again im being treated like shit. And hes able to have two weeks off in june, including an 8 day international vacation. But i get "ill try to stream for those other days". Somebody you said "we will meet eventually" and you cant make room for me after all this time before turning your whole lifes schedule around making it so you know we wont be able to hang out anymore. So clearly im a huge fucking asshole for having such selfish fucking thots when all i should have thot was "oh yay good for you!". But hey thats what you get when your a stupid worthless ashole am i right? 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆