#and then BRUTALLY TAKE THEM AWAY by the end of the episode

[freudyou]

"Make it look like a freak lighting accident"

It’s been years since I’ve revisited Due South, but the @ds30below event sparked my interest again, and I decided to watch a few episodes with my bud @flownwrong  to celebrate. We watched three episodes that stuck in my mind the most over the years after being absent from the show for so long: Bird in the Hand, Eclipse, and The Ladies’ Man, and I found all three to be a very rewarding rewatch, even though my memory of the rest of the series is a bit hazy.

Bird in the Hand: 

When we started our mini marathon, I didn’t realize that this was the only ep of the three where Fraser’s dad plays a role, and I forgot how solid Pinsent was at pulling comic relief duty. The scene where he popped up demanding that Fraser murder Gerard immediately after Gerard was droning on about how Robert’s dogged nobility was his ultimate downfall had me rolling, as did the bit where he—probably correctly— asserted that Ray would shoot Gerard for him if Fraser really asked him to (aww). One thing in particular about his character  that struck me while watching this episode were the moments where he actually interacted with the environment around him in a way that impacted people other than Fraser by implanting the idea to retreat in McFadden’s mind and having Gerard attempt to grab his hand while dangling in the air. In my memory, it was a lot more ambiguous whether Robert was actually a spirit or a figment of Fraser’s imagination, so that ended up being kind of a fun twist for me. 

Since the other two episodes we watched were very Ray K centric, I’m glad we did one that had a focus on Fraser’s emotional state. The scene where he confronted Robert about stubbornly refusing help in life and  said “I never loved anyone as much as I love you” while Robert was still trying to find ways to derail the conversation is a fan favorite for a reason; it’s a rare, intensely vulnerable moment for Fraser and I really enjoyed the way that Paul Gross pulled back from it a little. In another show with another character, it’s easy to imagine a scene like this being a more blatant, emotional showstopper, with the neglected son saying this in a fit of tearful anger that’s meant to make his father rear back in surprise. Instead, Paul Gross delivers the line in an understated way that’s almost more like puzzled frustration, as if Fraser is trying to piece something together about himself instead, which I thought was a really nice touch to the scene that made it feel very Fraser. I also love the cunning way that Fraser brought it back around just a few minutes later by weaponizing male emotional repression in order to freak out everyone else in the room and gain the upper hand (as well as have an opportunity to annoy Ghost Dad by calling him short) while also delivering some genuine truths: Gerard really did break his heart. 

Last but certainly not least, I adore how Ray kept trying to take care of Fraser throughout the episode in his own grumpy, special way. Sure, trying to orchestrate some Fraser-on-Gerard police brutality didn’t end up being the most well received suggestion, but it’s sweet that he acted extra vengeful to make up for Fraser’s dutiful restraint. I also forgot that the “Mentally Deficient” sticker gag and the tape recorder conversation were both in this episode. The Bickering Married Couple vibes between them were always such a classic part of the show, so it was nice to see that on display. 

Bird in the Hand really held up strongly against my fond memories of it, and I was a little surprised at how easy it was to slide back into this world and be immersed in it after being away for so long. Sometimes I guess you actually can go back home again.  

#due south #ds30below #i will post my observations about Eclipse and The Ladies’ Man separately hopefully either tonight or tomorrow #but i had a blast watching all three #thanks alina!

[pinkandpurple360]

taking a count of the episodes, Stolas is likely to appear in 8/12 of them - literally two third of the entire season. meanwhile the other members of IMP have been thrown to the wayside to make room (and the show potentially intends to introduce yet more Goetias...)

I've got a theory about the themes of s1 and s2 and tbh I think it's fairly supported by the text. so the theory is basically this:

Season 1 is the Blitzo season. Season 2 is the Stolas season

but when you compare the two, it's...telling

Season 1 - basically a whistle stop tour of most of the people Blitzo has hurt in the past (Fizz, Verosika) and the ways in which he is on track to mess up his current relationships in his new life if he doesn't change (pushing boundaries with his employees by stalking M&M, needing to give Loona some space to grow up, being a liability to his own business through his lack of professionalism and impulsiveness).

In the effectively two part finale of e6&7 (not counting 8, it does little to tell us stuff we don't already know) it is made brutally clear that Blitzo desperately wants love and intimacy but doesn't know how to get there because he doesn't know how to be vulnerable with people. He ends the episode crying on the couch while knowing that despite having people in his new life, he's still alone and will remain so if nothing changes

Season 2 - opens on a flashback to Stolas as a child where it's revealed the woman he cheated on was an evil monster since birth and only he was the victim in the arranged marriage scenario. He was the only victim when he was forced to have a child he didn't want and the only victim when he kept the marriage going despite it not working for anyone involved. He coerced Blitzo into a sexual arrangement in season 1, but Stolas was the real victim there because...um...Blitzo seduced him for the book and took it after a one night stand, even though sex with Blitzo was something Stolas clearly wanted but didn't have the guts to admit (and he was also the first one to make it sexual, claiming Blitzo came to ravish him for no logical reason whatsoever after shutting them in a room together) and anyone with a brain should be able to figure out that if someone robs you after a one night stand then ghosts you, they aren't actually into you. Sings about how what's between them is a 'lie' despite Stolas initiating it and deluding himself the whole time.

From then on nothing is his fault. He refuses to take any responsibility for his daughter running away and him somehow being unable to find her because he didn't memorize his own spells (he gets out half an apology for forgetting Astaroth's tears before the writing forces Via to let him off the hook). Sexualizes Blitzo some more after being told not to, right when Blitzo could have used some genuine support and comfort.

Spends the rest of the season having people come to his defense on his behalf and having his history with Blitzo being rewritten to include sweet offscreen phonecalls. Decides his cheating didn't matter because Stella never loved him - never mind that the family name is all she's got since she isn't royalty like him, and his adultery is making a joke out of her. Doesn't actually apologize for Ozzie's. Goes to Ozzie for a crystal then acts weirdly shy and says 'no, never that!' when Ozzie talks about lust despite lust being the defining feature of his relationship with Blitzo even into s2.

Is likely to spend the rest of the season shaming Blitzo for not loving him, barely doing anything to address Blitzo's problems with him...and then will promptly be rewarded with Blitzo's love, either because Blitzo gets jelaous when the plot hands him a new boyfriend or because Blitzo decides Stella abusing Stolas means he's a good person, actually

like when you lay it all out it's kind of impressive.

Season 1 is a mostly effective deep dive into why the main character is the way he is, why it's hurting him and an indictment on the current way he lives and behaves

Season 2 is non stop coddling of Stolas and hitting the nail of the viewers' memory of season 1 with the constant hammer of Nothing is Ever Stolas' Fault and You're Wrong if You Think Otherwise, We Called Striker a Bigot to Prove It

what's even more galling is that at least part of Blitzo's behavior is due to being raised in poverty by an abusive father who taught him stealing to get ahead was the right thing to do. part of the chip on his shoulder now is due to people underestimating imps (they don't run businesses often, according to Striker, and most other city imps we see are working low paid service jobs) and thinking they can treat them however they want. but the show will still attempt to frame Blitzo as being in the wrong when he acts out and have characters hold him to task, even if the writing is half-assed about it

meanwhile Stolas is a literal prince but he apparently can't bear the minimum amount of pushback from Blitzo. he's had the power to treat imps like objects his whole life but the show circa season 2 won't permit him to do anything but the minimum amount of introspection about it

God it’s enraging the more I read through this, and you can really tell rich people wrote it. Season one was fantastic, season two shat all over it because that one Erin frost fanart was eaten up like crack and made canon. (Sorry frost it’s not your fault)

Don’t act like what we have is anything but you wanting me to F you ok you make that really clear all the time

Is the best line in the show.

Sounds like you just hate him for being a prince

Is the worst. You could replace prince with “rich” “white” “a man”

Like holy shit you have an abrasive but endearing guy with friends in a tense precarious connection, but they fucking love him and he loves them despite his worsening quirks, with him honestly being the second most toxic one after Loona. Someone who’s been sexually objectified his whole life and just needs respect, affection, open communication, and gentle reassurance, but someone who can also keep his ego in check. Not someone who puts their needs over his and hates when he has feelings that aren’t convenient. Hears him out when he breaks down doesn’t shove him away.

Like hmm I dunno I’m just spit ballin here

“Why didn’t you try to tell me any of this?”

“Misunderstanding or no, it’s hard to just forgive you”

“What do you want, a medal?”

“You’re pretty good at this action hero bullshit”

“He earned it (love)”

Sorry I could talk about them for hours…they’re just so good together it hurts. Even as kids they bounced off each other but fizz kept him in check.

What he doesn’t need is mind games, public humiliation, a glorified martyr, somebody who demands constant favours and takes and takes until there’s nothing to give. And only reaffirms to him how much of a nothing he is when he has no right to do so. You aren’t owed a relationship. That’s monstrous. Stolas is literally an incel.

#helluva boss critical #stolitz critical #creators pet

[mo-ok]

Parent for a Day Episodes

Go Onger GP.41 - Advanced Childcare

Liveman Ep.31 - Mama! The Parasitic Monster's Cries

Megaranger Ep23 - Why! My Egg is a Nezire Beast

Carranger Ep.39 - I Love Roads!! The Space Pet

Boukenger Task.36 - The Oni's Kanabou

#go onger #liveman #megaranger #carranger #boukenger #fucking love this plot trope like YES. P L E A S E GIVE THEM A LIL GUY TO LOOK AFTER #and then BRUTALLY TAKE THEM AWAY by the end of the episode #its the perfect situation to add a lil complexity to a character #seeing grumpy characters soften - seeing gentle characters become protective #Hiroto's episode shows perfectly how 'Miu's bad habit' is much more of a Sutou-family bad habit #Kenta laments about wanting a little brother - and his episode shows he would have been a pretty good big bro #Naoki's episode gives him a chance to be more assertive #Eiji and Chief #EIJI AND CHIEF 😭😭😭 #liveman mpreg episode i will not speak about it further #(yet) #but like could you IMAGINE if any of these other episodes where mpreg instead of 'finds alien/egg/peach' #go onger episode 41 - hiroto gives birth to a tadpole #anyway #gif post tag

[internetskiff]

Something about Gordon Freeman that's extremely fascinating is how he was basically forced into the "Messiah" role by complete accident. Dude was on his way to work, caught in an extremely awful lab accident, and he was just fighting for his life so brutally that he ended up taking down an entire army, making the other less capable or equipped scientists assign him as the one that would go in and take down the Nihilanth - I mean, they basically didn't have many other options, or at least not many better options at their disposal. The whole time he basically doesn't have much of a say in any of it, which means he was practically railroaded into becoming the G-Man's employee by pure circumstance.

Doesn't get any better in Half Life 2 either - the surviving Black Mesa staff have turned this man they potentially sent to die into a legend amongst the resistance movement. The Vortigaunts chant his name as they draw murals on the canal walls. The Lambda - a symbol of both the Lambda Labs but most notably the symbol on the HEV suit - now symbolizes liberation. Therefore, of course, the man who bears this symbol is the liberator. By the ending chapters of Half Life 2, Freeman commands entire squads of rebels, appointed the leader regardless of how good a tactician he actually is - if they die, they died for him, not because of him. As long as he gets to the Citadel and breaches it's wall, all those deaths would be worth it - once again, others send him into a near-inhospitable environment to take down a near-invincible threat.

I think that despite us being in control of Freeman for most of the series, the real protagonists of the story are the Vance family. Eli, too, was right at ground zero when the Resonance Cascade occurred. He is the leader of the Resistance. It's very possible that he's the one who spread word of Freeman throughout City 17. The fall of Nova Prospekt AND the Citadel occurred as a result of Eli's capture. In the Combine's eyes, the Vances are a threat equal to, if not greater than Freeman himself. That, and the Vances have something Freeman doesn't - agency. They're beyond the G-Man's control. They're beyond the Combine's control. Their actions are completely their own, with no third party to control every single step they take. Over the course of the Episodes, it feels as though the dynamic shifts, with Alyx becoming a much more vital figure. The Combine are specifically after her now, because she carries the code capable of disrupting the portal through which the Combine could send reinforcements and finally consume Earth. In both the Epistle 3 script and in Half Life Alyx it ends with her basically taking Freeman's position under the G-Man's employ. She quite literally takes the role of the Main Character away from Gordon. This, of course, is nothing to envy, because it's been repeatedly shown that any character assuming this role in the series ends up being reduced to nothing but a pawn for those who control them. It's an extremely fascinating spin on the linear nature of the games, canonically acknowledging you're doing nothing but marching along a path someone else made for you. Despite being the one free man, you're not offered much of a choice.

#hl #hl2 #hl 2 #half life #half life 2 #gordon freeman #alyx vance #eli vance #the combine #g man #gman #the gman #rambling #had thoughts on this for a while but only recently managed to formulate them

[obey-me-disaster]

MC scams drunk demons

Demon brothers x gn!MC

Summary: The demon brothers found out that MC has taken advantage of not being affected by demonus and decided to scam demons by beating them in drinking competitions.

A/N: I think it's unfair that MC can't get drunk on demonus at all. You mean to tell me that everyone else(except Solomon and Luke) can get wasted and we have to look after them??

Lucifer

-he heard about it when some demons were complaining about losing their money at RAD. He honestly thought it was Mammon at first and was already thinking about a punishment, that was until he heard them talk about one of the human exchange students

-"What were you two saying about the human exchange students? You should have no problem telling me about it, do you?" Yeah...the two demons nearly shit themselves when they saw the avatar of pride behind them

-what he managed to find out was that you accepted drinking challanges from random demons at bars in exchange for money, only to beat them without seeming to be remotely drunk

-That's when he realized that not every demon knows that demonus doesn't affect humans. He decided not to tell them that, so they won't come after you

-He decided to confront back at the house of lamentation. After dinner he called you into his room and made you explain yourself

-You explained that it all started when some demon challanged you to a drinking competition thinking you couldn't handle large amounts of demonus. And when you beat him and took his money you realized how you could take advantage of that. You also didn't mention that Mammon helped you

-You tried to explain that it was basically their fault for entering in a drinking competition with a human without doing their research. You even added the fact that you were always feeling left out when the others were getting drunk but you didn't as an emotional reason to try to make him empathaze with you

-Least to say...that didn't work. You were no longer allowed to go to bars alone so you wouldn't scam anymore demons. You were also not allowed to drink demonus for a week as a punishment.

-You did find that a section of the storage where the demonus is held in HOL was dedicated solely to human world alcohol. And the really expensive type too. So I guess that was a win for you??

Mammon

-he was the first one to know and that's because you told him.

-Needless to say he was really proud of you. THAT'S HIS HUMAN. He probably even helped you from time to time to find demons that would take you up for the challange.

-90% of the times he comes with you and watches from the distance in case a demon gets angry about losing to you. He wasn't gonna let anyone harm his human that's for sure.

-When he heard Lucifer finally caught wind about the whole thing he was already prepared for a brutal punishement that never...actually came? What? You later told him that you didn't tell Lucifer about his involvement, after all it was your idea.

-Lucifer never sent him as your escort to bars, while you didn't say it he knew Mammon was also involved.

-Guess that was the end of this scheme...for now at least

Leviathan

-he found out about it after you said you couldn't attend a video game night. At first he thought it was because you didn't want to spend time with him and that sent him into self depricating episode

-after calming him down and reassuring him you explained the whole situation he actually got pretty excited. It reminded him of some cool anime scenes

-he did go with you a few time to watch from a distance. He wanted to see if it would resemble some of the animes he has seen

-there was one time a demon got really angry with you(Mammon was not there) so you took Levi by his hand ran away from that bar together. He didn't know if he should die from happines or embarrassement.

-Levi was on of your escorts to bars after Lucifer caught on your scheme. You couldn't really bring yourself to put Levi in a tight spot by scaming demons with him around.

Satan

-found out a bit before Lucifer punished you. He heard it from some acquaintance of him and decided to just ask you directly.

-he was a bit dissapointed you would do stuff like that, but he did agree with you on the fact that the other demons were stupid for going agaisnt you in a drinking competitions. They should research a bit about their opponents.

-he went with you one time just to see how far other demons pushed themselves in order to beat you. He already knew the demonus had no effect on you, but he wanted to see if other demons would figure it out

-one of the brothers that has to go with you to bars after Lucifer punishes you, but unlike Levi he does let you enter in one drinking contest or two. Only to mess with Lucifer.

-probably drank some of your human world alcohol to see how it affects him(while not immune, it seems that demon have crazy high tolerande)

-"It doesn't taste too bad, I wonder how it would taste mixed with demonus. I should probably ask MC to try it with me"

Asmodeus

-found out about it from his fanclub. He heard them gossip about a human beating demons in drinking competitions.

-at first he thought it was Solomon running some weird magic experiment but when he asked the sorcerer he realized he was wrong

-he then went to you and you confirmed his suspicions."MC why didn't you tell me!? It was so cruel that I had to find out from other demons. You have to make up for it now~"

-he insisted to come with you the next time to the bar. He wanted to take so many photos to post them on Devilgram. You had to talk with him to at least block Lucifer from seeing the photos so he wouldn't find out

-the posts brought you more popularity and by extension brought you more demons to challange...the bad part was that the popularity made demons talk about you more and that's how Lucifer found out oops

-Asmo was banned from escorting you to bars after he saw a posts on the fifth born's devilgram about you being in a drinking competition after your punishment

Beelzebub

-found out from Mammon after he asked him to go with you in case a demon got angry. And good thing he did cause a huge ass demon got really angry and tried to attack you.

-Beel knocked them out in a second. While a short fight it was a really cool one. When the demon tried to attack you Beel caught their fist and punched in the face. That was enough for the demon to fall unconscious.

-you bought some food for Beel as a thanks but he told you don't have to but he wasn't gonna refuse if you're offering

-he did wonder if he could do the same thing as you but with eating competitions. You had to break it to him that there aren't many demons that would go up against him.

-one of the brothers that has to be with you when going to the bars after punishments. If you bribe him with some food he will let you scam a demon.

-"Thanks MC, you're really kind and don't worry, I won't tell Lucifer"

Belphegor

-he overheard some RAD students talking when he was trying to fall asleep. He didn't really pay too much attention to it until he realized Beel was starting to go with you to bars when Mammon couldn't so he could protect you from angry demons

-then he got both interested and worried for you and decided to go once. He talked more like insulted a demon into leaving you alone.

-"Really? You're such a sore loser because you lost in a drinking competition agaisnt a human? Or is the alcohol just making you more of a useless idiot than usual?" He knows his way around words when he needs to.

-couldn't really think of a way to make Lucifer's life harder without getting you into some serious trouble so he kind of gave up on the idea

-asked for cuddles in exchange for keeping your secret safe he would have kept your secret safe anyway but why not take advantage of it?

-"MC, come to bed with me. You have been away for too long and I miss cuddling you. I am sure you don't want me to tell your little secret to Lucifer" good thing you know he is joking

-Lucifer doesn't even ask him to make sure you won't get into any drinking competitions. He knows too damn well Belphegor will let you do what you want

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me imagines #obey me x mc #obey me x reader #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmo #obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer x mc #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon x reader #obey me mammon #obey me mammon x mc #obey me leviathan x mc #obey me leviathan #obey me leviathan x reader #obey me satan #obey me satan x mc #obey me satan x reader #obey me asmodeus x mc #obey me asmodeus x reader #obey me beelzebub #obey me beelzebub x reader #obey me beelzebub x mc #obey me belphegor #obey me belphegor x mc #obey me belphegor x reader

[raayllum]

Punishment VS Acceptance: The Silvergrove and Callum

5x01, 5x04, and 5x08 were probably my favourite episodes for Rayla and Callum’s dynamic this season, for obvious reasons, and rewatching the bulk of the season next day after (and for a nice meta segue) I wanted to tackle the downright beautiful parallels between 3x03 and 5x01 (and a little bit of 4x03). 

So let’s get into it.

As we all know, Rayla returns home in 3x03, and gets a... more brutal welcoming than she was expecting, partially due to her own perceived crimes, and due to the Silvergrove’s associative prejudices/inclinations.

It is extremely important to note that (at this time at least) Rayla is banished for something she didn’t even do: “But you didn’t run away from anything. They just don’t know what happened.” And although initially dejected, she remains hopeful and ‘confident’ that Ethari wouldn’t have done the spell.

Ethari, however, temporarily chooses his grief and village over his daughter, and shuts her out... in a way, framing wise, that’s not too dissimilar from Callum’s initial cold reaction in 4x01.

Which makes sense, as both Ethari (and later Amaya) state is quite similar:

Then, of course, while pursuing the exact opposite of abandoning her family, and trying to figure out what happened to them, Rayla is caught emerging from Viren’s old sealed off chambers in 5x01 and accordingly arrested. What I found particularly interesting is that in spite of being fully able to, Rayla doesn’t actually say a single word during her pseudo trial, Callum and Opeli doing all the talking for her (on both ends). 

She knew stealing the key wasn’t the right thing to do, but felt unable (or unwilling) to share the burden of the coins with Callum, probably because she hasn’t been able to rely on anyone in a long time (two years alone did not help) and that it’s always been something she’s struggled with. Runaan and Callum’s complicated personal history likely didn’t help either.

And just like the Silvergrove, Opeli is arresting her on the basis of association:

and unlike the Silvergrove, on account of crimes she actually committed. 

And I think there’s a lot of reasons Rayla doesn’t speak up in this scene - shame, the way she’s never been particularly good at advocating for herself, the general emotional difficulties present - but I think the main reason is that she left Callum an explanation in Through The Moon about why she left and he was still (understandably) angry with her, but more than that is that the Silvergrove flat out did not care about her intentions, and she knows it. 

E: I told Runaan you were too good hearted for the work of an assassin, so I know you did not betray them out of malice. 

Why would this time be any different, especially when as stated, she’s done all the things she’s being accused of?

But Callum isn’t the Silvergrove, so of course he’s different.

Where they stripped her of her home and literal identity, labelling her a Ghost, he reaffirms that her name - “She’s not ‘the elf’ - she’s Rayla” and that he knows exactly who she is. Where the Silvergrove robbed her of a chance to explain herself...

Callum says that she doesn’t need to even when it’s being demanded of her. Whereas before her intentions didn’t matter, they’re all that count here, enough that he is willing to disregard literally everything else (including his own complicated feelings about said murder bow). 

C: I know this. [To love is simply to know this:] The tides are true as the ocean is deep. O: What does that mean, Prince Callum? C: It means I trust her. Unconditionally. Let her go. Now. 

He doesn’t know ‘what happened’ as far as her intentions and motivations, only the worst presentation of her behaviour. But he refuses to punish her for doing something alone, for not asking for help, for keeping a secret. Instead he’s warm and compassionate and vouches for her, and if anything takes a certain amount of self-imposed responsibility on his own shoulders of realizing that if Rayla didn’t feel like she could come to him with something, he needs to be doing something different. 

All while also reaffirming his faith in her - that it’s nothing that would hurt him, that she wants to tell him, that she will tell him one day, that she will be ready, and that he hopes she knows she can trust him.

Because he loves her.

#rayllum #tdp meta #tdp #the dragon prince #tdp spoilers #3x03 #s3 #arc 1 #arc 2 #multi #5x01 #s5 spoilers #parallels #analysis series #analysis #yes i teared up writing the ending mIND UR BUSINESS #back on my immediate post-s3 'callum is the first person in her life to love her Unconditionally' bullshit i think

[bloodydeanwinchester]

fuckkk okay so this is the first time in a while that i've watched all of the episodes leading up to faith before watching it and man the series of events leading up to him finding out that he's dying is just so brutal.

like first he has to work a case involving the house where he saw his mother burning on the ceiling AND it turns out to involve her ghost no less. and he calls his dad for help and he's crying because he just really needs him. but his dad can't even be bothered to call him back.

and then, once that case is over and he and sammy are fighting about their dad and their dad is sending them a case via a text with nothing but coordinates in it and he and sammy are still fighting about it and about how dean always follows his fathers orders without questioning them (but what sammy doesn't know is that dean DOES know what happens when he questions his orders and even at 26 he's still avoiding that at all costs) and then they're in the asylum and sammy is saying awful things to him that he knows are at least partly true and he's pointing a gun he thinks is loaded right at dean's face and pulling the trigger. and when it's over sammy is trying to apologize and blame it on the ghost but dean knows that's not the full truth, that sammy does believe the things he said to him

then FINALLY their dad calls them and it's the first absolute confirmation they've had in six months that he's alive but he just calling to tell them to stop looking for him and to give them a case and dean's following his orders and sammy's pissed again and he's taking it out on dean and they're fighting and then sammy's leaving and it's just like stanford all over again except this time their dad isn't even there so really it's just dean that he's leaving isn't it?? and sure sammy ends up coming back and saving him in the end but dean knows deep down that he'll never be able to please both sammy and their dad and he doesn't know what to do about that

and at some point during these events, dean turns 27 and then they're on another routine hunt but it doesn't quite go the way it's supposed to and this intense pain just lights dean up and then he's floating away and the next time he wakes up he's hearing that his heart is ruined (but it's always felt a little bit ruined to him anyway) and he's going to die very soon but he's always expected to die young so he's just accepting it and he knows he'll never see his dad again and he'll never truly know what it's like to be loved by someone who really knows him and of course, he thinks sammy is just gonna leave him there to die alone

like how could anyone watch this series of events and then see dean in his little hoodie just wanting to die in peace and not love him more than anything else in the world???????

#woag this post got way longer than i meant for it to but #god i am feeling so many feelings for faith dean right now #and i haven't even started the episode yet 😩 #you guys don't understand i just NEED to protect him at all costs #spn 1x12 #spn 1x09 #spn 1x10 #spn 1x11 #dean & sammy #faith!dean #spn #dean winchester #jenna.post

[even-in-arcadia]

@saints-who-never-existed I hope you don't mind me continuing this here but your tags! This started as a ramble in my own tags on that gifset but then it got very long and then I realized that I was no longer talking about Morfin & Tozer & Silna. So I'm putting it here in a seperate post because that moment is SO good, the beauty of the clarity and understanding that passes there, and I didn't want to take away from that post.

But I have been trying for a while to figure where Goodsir falls in this turning of mercy. It never ever occurred to me that Goodsir's panic attack might be more than just the visceral grief of seeing his patient in such pain that he, a doctor, is incapable of curing, and the trauma of him being so violently killed at such close quarters. But on top of that!! Now must he reckon with the fact that he has been prolonging this man's life and suffering (and again, Goodsir doesn't know what Morfin knew about Lt Fairholme) only to bring him to such a cataclysm and end: and that this makes him entirely re-evaluate his concepts of mercy, of compassion, and what it means to truly provide relief! Of the value of his entire profession as he has understood and practiced it! Does he feel complicit in Morfin's death? In the manner of it? As you say, no wonder he had a panic attack! How does he reckon with the fact that Tozer, a marine (and probably not someone he cares for), is ultimately the one who is able to understand and give to Morfin the only true mercy possible in the circumstances?

So when Gibson comes to him with scurvy and asks what to expect: he tells him the brutal, plain truth of it with no offer of comfort or hope, not even a softness in his tone. Because he is angry, but also because that is a different kind of mercy. He spent so long telling Morfin there was hope, there were options, but he was wrong. It all came to this horror, to his patient literally begging for death.

And is this what brings him to the point of being able not just to contemplate but to carry out his suicide & murder? Because the Goodsir of the first nine episodes might have killed Hickey, but he also must know that many of those men are in that camp out of fear and desperation and even chance and are complicit but not Guilty in the way that Hickey is. Does he think he's freeing them, or punishing them, or both? Does it mean that for him mercy has ceased to be a concept of value or meaning in these circumstances?

Anyway, that's what's rattling around in my head now.

#and now i have to finish my work so i can go to bed #but i truly could not stop this circling in my mind #so here it is #sorry everyone #the terror amc #harry goodsir

[nipuni]

I have another DW report! It took a while because we've been hosting friends and family visiting from abroad for a few months now and had a lot of work on top of that so we haven't had much quiet time alone to sit and watch but we made it to the end of S10!!

I'll share our thoughts under the cut because it's a lot!

We adored 12! His run was amazing, one of the best! A lot of episodes became all time favourites for us and Peter Capaldi is now our second favourite Doctor after David. His acting is impeccable and he is a delight to watch. He is so funny and inspiring and everything The Doctor should be, absolutely loved him!!

We enjoyed Clara, her characterization had some inconsistencies with her having several different arcs that felt disjointed at times but she is so memorable and made herself into such an integral part of The Doctor's life. Watching her change and their relationship become more codependent and unhinged as time went on was super interesting. Nardole grew on us. And BILL? Bill!! Oh my god dear Bill managed to outsuffer even Martha and that is saying a lot, I'm still traumatized I was not expecting the finale to go that way for her what the fuck and what a finale that was, devastating, we loved it!! but GOD sweet Bill her fate was brutal, I would have loved to see her go on more adventures and grow 😭

Now, the highlight of these seasons for me was Missy!! I'm obsessed, she's my favourite version of The Master so far and my favourite character after The Doctor, I LOVE HER 🙏 She needs more seasons! (I'm aware of the audios I'll get my ears on those as soon as I can) She's hilarious and clever, mean but soft and so so gorgeous AHHHHH She somehow manages to be terrifying and endearing at the same time and you can feel and share The Doctor's hope for her. Her death broke my heart, what do you mean The Doctor will never find out she stood with him in the end!! The romance, the tragedy!! I didn't dare hope they would take their story there and they went above and beyond. Every second she was on screen I was holding my breath and kicking my feet for real. To the people that said I would love their relationship when I started watching DW you were so right and know me too well 😳

Some of our favourite episodes from 12's run were Listen, Mummy on the Orient express, Heaven Sent and The doctor falls. Though there are a lot of good ones really, all the ones with Missy in them, Deep Breath, Flatline, Oxygen, the heist one, Thin Ice, The pilot, the one with the ghosts underwater, the ones with the pyramid monks, the parts with River, the one with the boxes and Zygons, the last special, all really enjoyable!!

We are also five episodes into S11 and I have to admit that despite our best efforts so far we are not enjoying Chibnall's writing at all 😫 but it's still early so we stay hopeful, maybe it's just a rough start and it will pick up after all the exposition. We will keep going so that we are all caught up by the time the new season starts airing!!

I hope you are all doing well! I am once again apologizing for not replying to asks in ages!! I've been mostly away from social media for months outside of posting every now and then so they keep piling up and it's become intimidating 😫 but I'll get to them soon!!

I also wanted to thank you for all the kind comments and tags on my art and photos, they really keep me going so I'm very grateful!! 😭💖

#doctor who #DW report #personal

[balanceoflightanddark]

This scene. This scene right here might be one of the most tragic and brutal scenes in the whole series.

We all knew going in that Aang was in fact the last airbender, but this just hit it home just like it did for Aang. A confirmation that his entire people was wiped out, and his father figure (the one he abandoned cause he couldn't take the pressure of being the Avatar) having been butchered. Later episodes only makes this image a lot worse since the Air Nomads valued pacifism and the sanctity of life, while Gyatso is surrounded by the corpses of firebenders he had slain.

There's no buts or ifs about it. Aang's people is GONE.

And he doesn't take it very well.

Aang, the happy go lucky kid that believes in the best in everyone goes absolutely berserk.

I think this is one of the recurring themes in Aang's arc aside from accepting his role as the Avatar. I really do believe that deep down, the kid does have a grudge against the Fire Nation. A rage like this doesn't go away easily nor overnight. And there are times when Aang went berserk when pushed too far, like how Appa was stolen or when he fused with the Ocean Spirit. Sure, you could argue he wasn't in control of himself in the latter incident, but considering how corrosive deep seated grudges and anger can be corrosive, I still think it's in the realm of possibility.

Plus I think it gives his decision to spare Ozai a bit more weight behind it cause he's choosing to move on from his anger and end the cycle of violence the world is trapped in. What the Fire Nation did was awful: yes. But it doesn't mean Aang's doomed to give into his anger.

Am I saying Aang was in any danger as being just as bad as his enemies? No. I don't think there's any circumstance where he'll become some genocidal warmongerer. Neither does it mean his trauma, grief, and anger will just go away over night. It's how one handles them is what makes his character. Despite being the last survivor of a genocide, Aang chose not to give in. Just because the world is brutal doesn't mean you have to be.

#aang #aang atla #aang meta #monk gyatso #atla #atla meta #air nomads #air nomads meta #fire nation

[too-antigonish]

This is the Fred Thursday Endeavour prequel I dream about...

Sure 1960s Oxford had a lot to work with, but it’s got nothing on post-war London.

Picture it: The whole country is in the midst of social upheaval. Men are returning home after years away. They’re dealing with massive trauma and having difficulty readjusting to civilian life. Their families have spent years learning to live without them. The reunions don’t always go well. 

Constant shortages have led to thriving black markets and a rise in organized crime. A huge influx of working-age men leaves many unemployed and vulnerable to the worst temptations.

Neighborhoods, especially in the East End, are still littered with the rubble of the Blitz. Evidence of destruction is a daily fact of life and death is still a presence. Children playing in the ruins encounter unexploded ordnance on a tragically regular basis. 

Into all of this walks a young Fred Thursday....

As a soldier he saw brutal action in North Africa and worked with the partisans in Italy.  He had a passionate affair with a woman he now believes to be dead. The rest of his wartime service remains a mystery to us.

Now he’s back near where he grew up—one of three brothers in Mile End. Billy didn’t make it back from the war. Charlie is now running the family’s warehouse business—and dating some girl named Paulette.

He’s been reunited with his wife Win (he doesn’t tell her about the affair) and is just learning what it’s like to be a father to Joan. The three of them are living with Win’s parents over the ironmongers and it’s not easy rubbing along together, not with so many people in tight quarters.

Fred is trying readjust to civilian life, making the shift from soldier to the policeman he once was. The lines blur easily in the brutal world of the East End but Sergeant Vimes, his governor at Cable Street,  does his best to keep him on the straight and narrow.

Those are just the basics of Fred's story from canon! I look at it and ideas for episodes just start spinning out in my head. It would be such an amazing series!

And then...

Eventually Fred moves up, takes young Mickey Carter under his wing—and makes the mistake of going after Vic Kasper. When Carter gets himself killed and is then falsely accused of having been on the take, Fred has to get his family out. He takes Win, Joan, and now Sam, and leaves everything and everyone they’ve ever known. 

Oxford is a whole new world. The kids have never seen so much green. The house is bigger than they ever could have imagined. His new boss, DCS Crisp, seems nice enough...

Ahh! If I weren't horrible at imagining casting I'd already have a list!

And then I think, maybe the whole thing’s got a framing device. Maybe the older Thursday from Endeavour, from wherever he sits in exile, is writing this all down. He’s recording these stories of what it was like when he was a young copper.

I’d like to think that in the end he puts it all together to send to Endeavour (not Morse, but specifically Endeavour) as a sort of memorandum of understanding. He's telling him, "I saw what made you into you. Now I'm telling you: here's what made me into me."

Happy Thursday Thursday!

#itv endeavour #fred thursday #roger allam #endeavour morse #thursday thursday #just making things up

[psychedelic-ink]

© PSYCHEDELIC-INK. do not copy, modify, or translate my work.

TV SHOWS & MOVIES MASTERLIST

PPCU MASTERLIST.

🔮 personal favorite || ☔️ smut || 🤧 angst || 🧁 fluff || 🩸 dark content

Live Wire Under My Skin 🤧

Joel comes back home wounded, and as you clean him up the two of you have a little chat.

Can't Get Enough Of Your Lies 🤧

you accidentally hear Joel grieving, and you do everything you can to comfort him.

I'm Yours to Tame 🤧☔️

Not being able to sleep, you sneak in next to Joel on the bed. You're stirred awake with a still-sleeping Joel grinding his hips into you.

Fire Burning ☔️

joel wants you to sit on his face, you have hesitations.

Burn For Me ☔️🩸

joel looks after you, provides for you, fucks you until the sun comes up; his only ask is that you never leave his apartment, not willing to face another loss. One day when you find the door unlocked, you decide to take stroll, promising yourself that you’ll be back before he returns home.

Love Will Abide ☔️

a retelling of the third episode but with you in it. Starts with Ellie reading Bill's letter.

Well, are you mine? ☔️

joel fucks you in an empty alleyway. that's it, that's the plot

Perfectly Wrong ☔️

Joel thinks you have the car battery that he so desperately needs and doesn’t believe you when you say that you don’t.

Ends Of The Earth ☔️🧁

joel brings you a care pack Maria gave him and you find a razor inside but when you confess your insecurities around the topic, Joel offers to help you out.

So My Darlin' ☔️🧁

you convince joel to have a bubble bath with you.

When You're Reading Me (pre outbreak!joel miller) ☔️🧁

If you had to make a list of things Joel Miller might buy you as a gift— nipple clamps, would not be a part of it. 

Reckless ☔️🤧

It starts with soft touches hidden by the dark. In a world where finding one bed is considered lucky, it means that you and Joel frequently share one. He offers to sleep on the floor, or a tattered couch every time and every time your answer is the same. No. 

aquatic rehabilitation ☔️🧁

Joel has been experiencing knee pain for the past two months. When he finally sees an orthopedist, he learns that he has some minor damage to his meniscus. The doctor prescribes him anti-inflammatory medication and physical therapy, recommending swimming. At the pool, he meets you.

Spitfire ☔️🤧

joel x tess

To put it simply, Tess did not want to exist but did so anyway. She stared blankly at everyone and everything. Her mind and heart urged her to make the smart choices. She was quick to eliminate the possibilities that might cause her death. She assessed the weak links of the group. Stayed clear away from them. 

Smart choices. She blamed that part of herself for wanting to approach the Millers.

Or alternatively, the story of how Joel and Tess met and how they came to be.

Rises the Moon ☔️🧁

As the man responsible for operating the lighthouse, Joel lives a solitary life on the isolated coast. He has no complaints, enjoying the hauntingly beautiful songs that echo from the sea at night. One stormy night, he rescues a mysterious mermaid tangled in a fishing net. As you recover in the lighthouse, the two form an unlikely bond and find comfort in each other's company.

Cry Baby ☔️🩸

slasher au (still takes place in the tlou'verse) + sex in the woods or somewhere public (added bonus if it includes knife, blood, hunter x prey kink)

bodies have been dropping left and right in the most brutal ways in jackson. as the relentless wave of deaths continues, your mind becomes increasingly restless. however, you find a sense of comfort and solace in the presence of joel. who might be hiding secrets of his own.

On Your Mark ☔️

cyberpunk au + fallen angel au + “i will keep hurting. i will keep killing. anything to protect you.”

you and tess go in to dismantle a cult, neither of you were expecting to find a rugged fallen angel being experimented on.

Distracted ☔️

woodshop teacher!joel miller x f!reader

there are many advantages to enrolling in a woodshop class: drawing you away from not-so-happy thoughts, relearning something that you enjoyed doing when you were a kid, and, well, the sight of watching mr. miller do something he’s undeniably good at.

Hoofbeats (feat jack daniels) ☔️

joel challenges jack to make you into the finest there possibly is in two days.

Biting Down ☔️

body piercer!joel miller x f!reader

you finally go and get your nipples pierced.

That Pretty Girlfriend ☔️

When your boyfriend is desperate to win back what he lost, he bets on you this time without your knowledge. And everyone knows you don't go back on your word when it comes to Joel Miller.

'my girl now ☔️

joel is used to asshole clients, and when one of them calls him an old man and basically demands him to finish his girlfriend's kitchen in time, he expects you to be the same. But you're the opposite. when he learns how you've been treated, he comes up with a plan to get back at your boyfriend.

Can You See His Silhouette? 🧁

 you get your period and without anything to help you with it, you’re mortified. Luckily Joel is there to help.

From My Skin to Yours ☔️🤧

joel survives and finds life deep inside of you.

Burning Pile 🤧 hero/villain au + one takes care of the other’s injuries

the enemy of my enemy is my friend.

Wildflower ☔️

after seeing a delivery of supposedly aphrodisiac petals, you give them a try, convinced that they wouldn't work. Joel finds you in a not-so-professional position.

Sleepy Hollow ☔️🧁

a typical morning in jackson.

Light Petplay thoughts w/ joel miller ☔️

Exile 🤧☔️

Runners. Stalkers. Clickers. Shamblers. Bloaters.

Domestics.

All infected. One unlike the other.

You expect the infection to eat you from the inside out, turning you into something horrid. But instead, you find yourself with leaf-shaped ears and antlers that belong to a deer. While you live out the rest of your days trying to adjust to your new features and survive, you meet Joel, a survivor just like you but with a more grim approach to life.

Both of you adopt the forest as your home. One wants the other gone, meanwhile the other will do anything to not be left alone.

Stay In Bed 🤧☔️🧁

joel miller x reader, onesided tommy miller x reader

After your grandfather’s passing, you find yourself moving into his home in Texas. You meet the Millers; Tommy, his older brother Joel and his daughter Sarah. With time, you and Tommy become close friends and Sarah visits you often. But Joel…Joel keeps his distance. The reason for this is due to one crucial fact you don’t know but he does; Tommy has a crush on you. Which means you’re off limits no matter what. But as your own feelings for Joel grow, things start to get more and more complicated.

Head Filled With Parasites (musician!joel miller) ☔️

One night you decide to visit a bar all by yourself. There you meet a guitarist, Joel miller, and things escalate from there. Here you'll find snippets and one-shots of the relationship.

Dark Hearted People ( joel miller x reader x ezra)

Trying to reach Tommy, you and Joel meet a charming stranger. He persuades the two of you into helping him find his stolen equipment. During your travels, none of you expect to fall for one another.

Behind The Velvet Rope ☔️

(bodyguard!joel miller x actress!reader x dieter bravo)

a grumpy bodyguard, an eccentric actor, and you, who is thrust into the limelight. What can go wrong? The three navigate the challenges of Hollywood, tensions may arise and conflicts may occur but they’ll always have each other to lean on.

Ravish Masterlist ☔️

(webcam model!reader x joel miller, no outbreak)

Joel, only now starting to feel the impending sense of loneliness, decides to listen to Tommy and sign up on an online streaming service called Ravish.

Followed The Beast 🤧

You, both a member of David's group and one of his former victims, are already contemplating escape when Ellie arrives at the resort. Seeking Ellie, you decide to take advantage of the unexpected opportunity to run. But before you can find Ellie, you cross paths with Joel instead.

How Mr Miller Stole Christmas ☔️🤧🧁

enemies to lovers, fake dating, roommates, close proximity, age gap

You're the sole firefly that Joel spared in his pursuit to free Ellie from the hospital bed. You have no idea what it was—maybe it was the fact that you were significantly younger than the other soldiers, maybe it was because you were already out the door when he pointed a gun at you— no matter what it was you were miraculously spared from the bloodshed. Weeks later you find yourself in Jackson, wanting to leave the past behind. But of course, life has other plans. It always does.

No one knows what Joel did. No one except for you. And when you threaten the thinly veiled peace he managed to build for himself, he has you by the throat and against the wall. When people from the town see this in order to save face you kiss him, blurting out that you two are dating.

Rumors spread like wildfire and when a new family comes in, Tommy offers that they stay at your house and you to stay with Joel since you're already "dating".

Now you're stuck with each other with no way out. It's either keep the dating charade going or for the whole town—and Ellie—to learn the truth.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x ofc #joel miller x y/n #joel miller masterlist

[lurkingshan]

Japanese QL Corner

ICYMI: There are so many Japanese qls airing weekly, so I’m going to start posting this little round up at the end of each week. All but one of these are on Gaga and I highly recommend watching!

Chaser Game W

Fuyu got a personality transplant this week and I have officially given up on this show being what I hoped it was. Enjoy the mess and the humiliation kink and don't look for consistent writing, logical plot, or deeper themes and you will find some things to enjoy. Like these two beautiful ladies making out a bunch!

Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yara ka

I love this show so much, y'all. This week we got the return of Sakae's selfish chaos ex, Mizuki, and because this is a show by and for adults, this resulted in our leads engaging in some proper communication, clarifying their feelings for each other, and sharing their first kiss by the end of the episode. I loved seeing more of Sakae and Mizuki's dynamic, and I just know if Soga wasn't in the picture Mizuki would already be in with Sakae again. Sakae is a soft touch and Mizuki clearly knows how to play him. But thankfully, Soga has already wormed his way into Sakae's loyal heart, so he was not tempted to waver. And for Soga, who is experiencing a queer awakening via his relationship with Sakae, Mizuki's presence was a much needed jolt to sort out his own feelings and decide he wants to try a relationship despite his concerns about not staying in Osaka long-term. I also loved the way their friends rallied around them to push Sakae and Soga to figure their shit out, and the sauna scenes will never get old.

Perfect Propose

It's official, I have adopted Kai as my child and will be forming a protection squad. This show is striking a good tonal balance of being fairly downbeat and serious, between Kai's past and Hiro's current work/life balance issues, but also uplifting in how their relationship builds. I like that they talk to each other so honestly about what they're feeling for each other, and Kai's quiet confidence that Hiro returns his feelings and just needs to come to terms with it is both hilarious and correct. My favorite thing that happened in this episode was Kai confidently noting all the ways Hiro’s body was responding to him and asking him to “be conscious of it.” Kai wants Hiro to be conscious of Kai’s feelings but also of his own responses, and he’s asking him not to look away from it and pretend he doesn’t know there’s something between them. I love the confidence of that.

And I sympathize with Hiro, as well, because it's not just that he's never considered being with a man before--he also just doesn't feel he has anything to offer to a partner right now given his brutal work situation. His guilt and shame for missing the festival after inviting Kai to go together was real, and you can see that he just can’t fathom having anything to give with the situation he’s in at work right now. The trick will be trusting that Kai can accept those limitations until he’s able to find a better balance, and then actually taking steps to pay attention to what he needs and wants, both in this relationship and in his career. Hiro has not been taking care of himself and it's catching up to him.

Ossan's Love Returns

A downbeat week for this show, and an episode that did not entirely work for me. I liked some of the themes they were exploring in this one, but it was all missing the humor that I've come to rely on and I don't feel that all the story threads pulled together as tightly as they normally do. In particular, my head is inquisitively tilted at the show's decision to make Maki and Haruta's wedding episode feel like such a misery slog, to focus primarily on the tension and strife leading up to the event rather than the joy it should inspire, and then to stay in the melancholy after a small moment of catharsis for our couple (and some season 1 flashbacks) by focusing on the sadness their marriage inspired in their various lonely suitors rather than their own wedded bliss. Seeing a wedding in jbl is a practically unheard of occurrence; a bit more queer joy was in order IMO and its absence was notable. I also thought the swing from Kurosawa beginning to accept a new role in Haruta’s life to suddenly going back to being lovelorn felt abrupt and poorly constructed. It's not that I think these ideas are unfounded given the show's focus on older male characters who feel past their prime for romance, but the execution was not quite right. And of course I am not too keen on the death flagging we got at the end for Kurosawa; I really hope the show will not take this story in a tragic direction for him.

Tsukuritai Onna to Tabetai Onna 2

I have still only seen the first four episodes of this; sadly, the next batch is not yet available to me. But soon! In the meantime, let's revisit Nomoto sobbing over a lesbian film. She's just like me fr.

Next week we'll be continuing all of these plus adding My Strawberry Film, the final Drama Shower (go here for an explanation on what that is from @bengiyo) show for the season! I continue to be delighted by this embarrassment of jql riches.

#chaser game w #sukiyanen kedo do yaro ka #perfect propose #ossan's love returns #tsukuritai onna to tabetai onna #she loves to cook and she loves to eat #japanese bl #japanese gl #japanese ql corner #shan shouts into the void

[leclercstarrs]

the return of past ghosts, spencer reid.

summary: in which your father manages to escape prison and makes it his mission to reunite with you.

warnings: typical cm violence like mentions of blood and murder, also reader’s father is an unsub (kinda like ashley’s backstory) and he escapes prison like the unsub in ‘the silencer’ episode. oh and not yet proof read.

notes: not sure how i feel about the plot/etc but enjoy!

You still remember that day. The day the FBI showed up to your door and arrested your father for crimes you never knew were committed. Brutal crimes, crimes that still make you sick to your stomach when you think about them now. Ever since that day, you’ve devoted yourself to helping save people from unsubs like him, working as hard as possible to achieve this and joining the BAU later on.

“What’s wrong? You said this is urgent.” You walk into the conference room, Spencer following behind you, just as confused as you.

The two of you were woken up in the middle of the night by the usual sound of a case alert, immediately leaving your shared apartment to go to the office.

“(Y/N).” Hotch starts, his facial expression even more serious than usual. “What’s going on?” You sit down next to Spencer and Jennifer. “Your father escaped from prison, he had a medical emergency and the ambulance that was transporting him to the hospital for proper care, ending up crashing. Police got to the scene and he wasn’t there.” Hotch continues, his words immediately leaving a bitter taste in your mouth. Everyone glances at you, Penelope finishing the debriefing of your father’s criminal history. You don’t even hear her, every movement and sound around you fading, except for your loud and rapid heartbeat.

“You can’t work the case, (Y/N).” Hotch explains. Those words catch your attention and you look up from the table to him, “You’re too connected, it’s dangerous.” Spencer interrupts, turning to face you and holding your hand in an attempt at comforting you. “Well, what’s happening then? Has he done anything yet?” You manage to breathe out, ‘anything’ referring to if he’s hurt anyone yet. “So far there’s been no signs of him, but we believe he might try to contact you.” Hotch replies.

“He doesn’t send me letters, he doesn’t care about me, never has. I can’t see him trying to talk to me, especially if he somehow found out I’m working with the FBI.” You shake your head. A part of you does believe he’ll contact you, but you don’t want that to be true, so you dismiss the idea. “You’re the only family member he has left. We’ll send agents back to your house to keep you safe and alert us if he tries to contact you.” The older agent nods. “He’s not family.” You stand up and quickly leave the room, your boyfriend quick to follow you, “Hold on, (Y/N)!”

You stop and turn around to face him. “Stay inside the apartment, keep your gun with you at all times. You know I wish I could stay with you but I need to-” Spencer starts, his tone sounding worried for you. “Spence, I know. Treat it like any other case, okay? I’ll be safe, Hotch said there’s going to be agents at the apartment as well.” You takes his hands into your hands and squeeze them to reassure him, pressing a kiss to his cheek and softly smiling. “I love you.” He says, “I love you too.” You reluctantly walk away.

“(Y/N).” One of the agents in your apartment walks into the living room, “Agent Hotchner needs you on the case, immediately.” He says. “What happened?” You immediately get off the couch, the other two agents leading you to your front door, “You father has been located, he has a hostage. He will only negotiate if he sees you.” Another agent explains, your eyes going wide, unable to speak, preparing yourself for the situation ahead of you.

Getting out of the car, you’re greeted by your team and numerous other agents, everyone surrounding your dad, their guns aimed at him. “Put this on.” Derek slowly walks up to you, his gun now holstered as he helps you put on a bulletproof vest. “You alright?” He asks, “I think you know the answer to that.” You let out a shallow laugh, trying to remain calm. “Stupid question.” His smile doesn’t relieve your anxiety, his eyes revealing the true nature of how uncertain he is at the moment. “You got this.” He places a comforting hand on your shoulder, before moving back to his position from before, everyone moving over so you can walk towards the unsub. When you see the man, he’s holding a knife up to a lady. You try to hide the disgust on your face, closing your eyes for a moment, wishing it was just a really shit nightmare. Unfortunately, that’s not the case, as you open your eyes seconds later, still met with the sight of your father in front of you.

“Darling.” His low voice sends shivers down your spine, a fake comforting expression on his face. “Hi, dad.” You fake a smile just like he did. As much as it pains you, you have to play into his games, rather than angering him. “Oh, I’ve missed you and your angel smile.” He steps slightly closer to you, the lady he’s holding onto letting out muffled cries as he places his other hand over her mouth. You slightly turn back to glance at Spencer, earning a nod from him before you move back around. “God, look how much you’ve grown. A big time FBI agent, you know, when you were younger you wanted to be a princess.” He laughs. “Yeah, dreams change when you grow up.” You pause, “Especially when you find out your own father is a serial killer.” This time you don’t bother hiding the anger in your tone, “Now, let her go, and we can talk some more.” You add. “I’ll let her go.” He pauses. You know there’s a catch to his offer. “If you replace her.” He seethes. “Fine.” You manage to mumble, taking your gun and tossing it to the side. You slowly walk towards him as he roughly shoves the lady away, gesturing for you to come towards him.

Just as you reach your father, you turn back around and make eye contact with your boyfriend, then quickly crouch down, covering your ears as Spencer shoots the unsub right in the chest. “It’s over.” You whisper to yourself, letting out a breath that you feel like you’ve been holding in for a lifetime. Your team runs towards the body, finding out if your father is dead or still alive, but Spencer runs to you, kneeling down and pulling you into a hug from behind, tightly holding you as you process everything, “It’s okay, you’re okay, I got you.” He whispers.

#mmm this is so long and for what?😐 #idk abt this 1 i warned yall i can’t write angst or interesting plots 😖🙏 #smh i need to find inspo #x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #cm x reader #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x you #criminal minds x y/n #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you

[adora-but-ginger]

scrawled in sand

pairing: joel miller x gender neutral!reader

summary: a fight leads to a mistake that may be costly, and Joel might lose someone, again.

word count: 4.5k(ish)

warnings: typical tlou violence and the warnings that come with those, nothing in detail but some sexual thoughts so 18+, weapons/knives, mentions of the loss of children, joel is kind of being an asshole at some points, angst, fluff at the end though, reader is like a feral cat joining a group of feral cats, swearing, hallucinations kind of, spoilers for episodes eight and nine, talking of death, no y/n used, umm i think that's it

masterlist

a/n: please don't ask me what this is, i don't have an answer. i chugged it out on a whim yesterday and make some edits today to fit the story better, and i'm currently trying to fill the hole that the end of the show has left so here this is! pedro as joel truly makes my brain go brrr, this series is fr consuming my life oh my god. thank you for reading! <3

one more thing! don't repost my stories, because only those who don't cover their cough or sneeze do that, and frankly that's embarrasing.

enjoy!-ella

credit to gif owner!

Joel,

The letter started, and he felt the all too familiar feeling of guilt pool in his gut. The argument from earlier that morning back had ran through his head on repeat since you left him standing alone in the middle of the street, with nothing but the horses in the near distance remaining as his company.

He didn't know why he said what he did, or at least he didn't want to admit it. The ghosts of his past had been haunting his every waking moment the closer he got to you, after Ellie had asked you to come with them in Kansas City. To say you were a force to be reckoned with would be an understatement, and he frequently glanced to your features and saw the same fires that burned the kindle of broken memories in himself.

You were dangerous, fearless, and morally questionable. This meant that Ellie nearly fuckin' worshipped you, and that Joel followed not too far behind.

The fact that you were nearly breathtaking to him was also an added benefit. Had he met you before, Tommy definitely would've chastised him for fawning after someone so out of his league.

You were brutal, and had made your grand entrance by saving Ellie and his life when he thought he had failed once again. Even months after you had joined their little duo, he still hadn't figured out how he hadn't seen you in the shadows. You had gotten rid of the person holding the weapon to Ellie's head just as they were about to pull the trigger, the shock of this third unannounced party granting you the time to take care of the one suffocating Joel.

Apparently, you drew a line of morals somewhere, but the line must've been distinct only to you. You had introduced yourself to the two after making sure they were both okay enough to continue, and it didn't take him more than another twenty-four hours to know that somewhere along the line, you had lost a child too. He had never expressed his inference out loud, but only someone who personally knew the pain of losing a child like that would save a kid like that.

From then on, he could tell that his silent vow to protect Elle at all costs was shared with another--an unspoken agreement going between the two of you.

It didn't take long for his 'crush' (as Ellie called it) to develop for you, though he denied it at any and all costs. How could he not? You could take out a clicker in the most agile way he had ever seen, and still walk away looking saccharinely angelic. His angel of death, he called you, after a night of too much stale alcohol surrounded by the sounds of crackling embers and an audience of the stars. You had laughed, and it was the first time he had made you produce that sound.

To say that the thought made him a little weak in the knees would put it mildly, and he thanked the onlookers of dust and ice above him that he was sitting down.

You had told him that that was probably one of the nicest nicknames you had been gifted by another in the last two decades.

He responded with a small smile, one that hadn't seen the light of day in much too long.

You said you liked it, the way his eyes looked with the little crinkles, and got up to stand watch. He noticed the scar that adorned the length of your collarbone for the first time, and let his eyes travel downward for the briefest of moments, before he lectured himself on why he couldn't think like that, of you, of anyone.

Your guard slowly went down for him after that night under the stars, but that didn't mean that you were any less brutal. You plowed through infected with so much as a blink of an eye and a scoff, and could bring a person to their knees, in want of lust or life, often taking the latter.

You two had become close after the winter that he nearly died at the University and Ellie and themself had gone through some of the most trauma one could experience. In fact, the caring whispers you and him had shared during those weeks, well, he damn near thought he made them up out of how unreal they seemed. He remembers the feeling of your lips against his cheek, of you falling asleep on one side of him with Ellie on the other while he nearly bled to death.

He knew he loved you then, but chalked it up to his dying mind.

And then the incident with the hospital happened, and even though you had barely the slightest clue as to who these firefly folks were, you had informed him afterward that when you woke up and pestered Marlene into telling you what was happening with Ellie you blacked out--that there was a reason as to why he had given you that nickname all those moons ago.

Because even if these people thought they could make a cure, who was to say that it worked? These scientists, with barely any resources to perform the necessary tests, had no guarantee that they wouldn't fuck it up, or that they would even did the surgery right had they performed it. No practice on what to do, no clue as to if they even acquire the correct sample. In fact, the only thing that they could guarantee would be the blood of a fourteen-year-old on their hands.

Joel had met you halfway through his sweep of the first floor, the fireflies making the dire mistake of keeping you two on the same level.

He decided to lie to Ellie about what had happened earlier then, and you respected his decision to a point, but you told her that you couldn't speak for him, and that you had found the two of them through no innocent manner.

So now here the three of you were, in Jackson, Wyoming, with him head-over-heels for you, and you feeling quite the same. A home was given to you all, and Tommy had rightly taken up his role of annoying younger brother, reminding him that not only did he know those who were ordained within the town (should the time come for you to become him and Maria's sibling-in-law), but that it would contain the looks that those of all genders gave you.

Like he said before, you were breathtaking, and now he wasn't the only one who knew that.

You had let your guard down a little sine you all returned, but he could tell you were struggling with it. Acting as a parental figure to Ellie had come easy to you, which meant that Tommy wasn't the only one constantly pushing him to make a move on you. He wouldn't be surprised if Ellie and his brother had a damn bet going on as to who could get him to say something first. And even though you two shared a room and a bed, nothing was set in stone. You would only really go out when the other two were, besides patrols, which you damn nearly craved according to Tommy.

It was hard for you and him, but the effort was there. He would see a more relaxed version of you in the nights, with the musings spoken between you and him after the sun had set only heard when your arms were around him in bed and the lull of sleep was around the corners.

So, when you both came back after a significantly rough patrol and something within him snapped at your recklessness, the feeling so long subdued came out from the depths of both of your hearts.

"You need to start being more careful of your surroundings!" He had sharply huffed at you after you had gone in with your usual guard and lack of self-care. The shock at his sudden outburst on your face spoke for the both of you. He didn't know why he was so upset, this was nothing new, but his fears had started to best him.

"Pardon me?" You had said after removing the saddle from your horse.

"Oh, you know exactly what I'm talking about." He gritted his teeth and crossed his arms, your actions soon mirroring his. "You can't just go into spaces we haven't checked alone all because you feel up to it."

"I went in there because I knew that there were infected, I don't get why this is anything different than the usual." The shock had quickly faded into confusion at his accusation. As much as he knew your readiness for conflict of the physical, he knew that you were never one for that of the verbal. That was one difference between the two of you--you insisted that problems were to be figured out and dissolved as soon as they arose, for there was no point in letting an argument brew.

"It's just--" he shut his eyes and took a breath, trying to keep himself in check, recognizing the fear that still remained from how fast you bolted into the abandoned barn. "We're a family now, you n' Ellie n' I, and you have to start caring more about what you do and your safety."

"I have been, Joel. So a stalker got a jump on me when I turned my back, but it's happened to the best of us. I wasn't bit, I'm okay." You had reached for his arm, but he moved his stance back just enough for you to halt your motion.

Something hardened in his eyes at that, feelings of what could've happened if you were bit flashing across his mind like a bad movie. "What if we hadn't been on your six? Huh? What would've happened if you did get bit? I couldn't live with myself, and you know damn well that Ellie wouldn't take the news well either. What you do doesn't just impact you anymore. That's all I'm saying."

You had sighed, nodding. "You have to see where I'm coming from too though, love." Pet names had flowed relatively frequently between the two of you since the beginning of the winter, but he still wasn't used to them. He liked em', loved em' even, but a little voice in his head always told him he was getting too close. You both hadn't said those three words, but he was terrified that he would push you away the moment they entered the air.

"I just, never mind." He turned to walk away, which was his first mistake. He knew you wouldn't let the subject just go like that.

"No, no, let's talk this through. You have done the same thing countless times, hell I've had to pry those fuckers off of your back more than I should, but you still continue to do it."

He spoke with his back still turned. "Yeah, but with me it's different."

Mistake number two.

You had both moved to the street now, the lights of early morning filling the colour palette surrounding you both.

"What do you mean it's different? What, you think I'm weaker than you or somethin'?" Your voice held more bite with the claim, and he screwed his eyes tight. He knew that your ability to hold your own was a touchy subject at best, after you explained your amount of loss long ago, but it didn't even cross his mind that his words could've been interpreted in a different manner.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it." He was getting annoyed, he was tired, but he turned to face you nonetheless. It was too early for a disagreement, but alas, here you both were.

"Yeah? Because that's not what it sounded like."

"Listen," your name tumbled from his lips. "You know that I know you're not weak, I have never doubted your strength and I never will. Goddammit. I just think that you go in over your head sometimes, thinkin' that you can handle more than you can."

Mistake number three.

"I know damn well what I can and cannot handle, Joel." Your chest was starting to raise faster, and he could tell that you were getting fed up, but so was he.

"Can you just listen to me for once?!" his tone became louder with every word. Memories of his life before ran through his head, alongside your image. If you wanted to be so stubborn, he could too. Maybe that's why he said what he did next. "You know what? No. I can't do this."

"Do what?"

"For the past how many patrols, you've come back with some sort of scratch because you don't care about what happens to you, and I'm sick of it--"

"--I've been working on it, and you know that. This isn't an easy change for me."

"But you're not workin' hard enough!" his voice was raised now, and he saw your resolve start to break. The dam had opened, and now the flood was rushing in. "If you're goin' to go and get yourself hurt, go do it away from me. In fact, it might just be better if you go on and leave, save us the trouble of worryin'." The words were leaving his mouth before he could even realize what he was saying, and he regretted every word that he processed.

"You don't mean that." He could see your breath hitch, your chest stumble as you spoke.

"I'll be damned if I don't. Can't have us thinkin' you're not gonna make it back if there's no back for you to come to."

"Joel, I am trying to work on getting better at it." Your voice matched his tone now, the anger seeping through you. "You don't see me pointing out every one of your flaws, and goddammit you have your fair share. You know I love you regardless, and--"

Mistake number four.

His body tensed up at your accidental confession, and your eyes widened as you realized what you had said.

"What did you just say to me?" He was too fired up to process his emotions healthily, and all the alarms to run were blaring loud and far. Did he feel the same? most definitely. Did he know how to express that in the slightest? Not at all.

But you held your ground. You knew him and how closed up he was, hell, you were nearly on par with his level there, but you had said it nonetheless. "You heard me, and I've got the feeling that you've known it for quite some time now."

He couldn't stop though. "Don't come home tonight. I don't want you there. Hell, you should've gotten bitten, for all I care."

--

You cursed yourself for getting close to that old grump. You didn't mean to say it, but you meant it, and you thought he felt the same. You left him there, then, not allowing him to see just how his words affected you. It was ridiculous really, how you let him get to you, but you liked the normalcy of Jackson, no matter how bad you were at it. You felt bad for leaving Ellie, but you thought it was best. Joel was right in that manner, she deserved a guardian that could keep themselves alive.

So that afternoon you talked to Tommy about taking your horse for a little joyride that evening, and though he wasn't too happy with your push for it, he obliged. It was past midnight when you came into the building you used to call home. You got your little belongings together, those consisting of a photo of the three of you, some flasks of water, some flasks of a liquid that was not water, some food, some weaponry, a journal, and went downstairs.

You scribbled a little note for Joel and went on your way. You couldn't look back, because if you did, you'd stay. Part of you broke as you imagined Ellie's reaction come the morning, but you continued on.

You didn't know where you were going, but you didn't really care.

--

After talking with Ellie that afternoon about what happened once the guilt had consumed him, Joel sought you out. You hadn't come home that night, and though in his fury he told you to do exactly that, he didn't expect you to actually do it.

He had checked the spare bedrooms but found only empty spaces. His heart started to drop as his hopes to see you dwindled. It was when he walked to the kitchen table was he met with someone. Ellie sat there, eyes glued to the small piece of paper in her hands, a tear slipping down her face. At the presence of Joel, she whipped her head towards him.

"I thought you were going to fucking talk it out." Her eyes were red, and she spoke with a bite. "Go get your fucking stuff, we're bringing them back." She stood up and went to go gather her stuff he assumed, leaving the paper on the table. He walked over and picked it up, the guilt returning as he read his name in your handwriting.

Joel,

Guess it really all was just one sided. You were the first person in years that I let myself care about, and I guess I'm facing the consequences. Like you said, you can't worry if I don't come back if there's no back to go to.

Tears welled up in his eyes, and he felt his heart become erratic.

Ellie,

I'm sorry. I hope you forgive me for leaving, but please don't hate me for it. If I were to stay, it would just be awkward between Joel and I, and eventually you probably wouldn't see much of me anyways. Love you, kid.

I'm sorry.

--

Yeah, this was a mistake. You'd been with people for too long that you grew to be rusty by yourself, and it was costing you, big time. You had been on foot for who knows how long now, but it was dark and sleep was slowly lulling you to its call, so you didn't hear that someone caught onto your trail and began to follow you. It wasn't until a twig snapped no more than fifteen feet behind you that you caught on, and by then it was too late.

A short fight later, death had found another, and there was a nasty stab wound in your shoulder.

You had thought to bring food and water, but why you forgot a med kit was beyond you. So, here you were, your horse waiting by the creekside, while you tried to find something that would hold enough pressure to prevent you from passing out. That was quickly coming to no avail though you realized, and you cursed at yourself for being so torn by rage from your fight with Joel to prepare properly.

You could see drops of your blood reflect in the morning dew that coated the grass. This wouldn't be lethal if you found a way to patch it up, but you were losing hope by the second.

Being agitated enough to find a solution, you decided to press on the wound with your hand, causing your sight to briefly black out in pain. A groan surpassed you, and you begrudgingly dragged yourself to your horse, doing your best to keep the reins in place via a bigger rock, and slumped down against it. If you could rest for just a few minutes and regain your breath, then you could focus better on what was around you that could help. Just a few minutes, you promised yourself, and the darkness overcame your shutting eyes.

--

It was the sound of another horse that jostled you from your unconsciousness. Looking around, it took you a half a moment to recognize where you were, a part of you aching for the comfort of your shared bed. But that's when everything came flooding back.

Joel. The fight. The note. The stabbing.

You looked skyward and groaned when you saw the paint of warm colour canvasing the blue. With a curse and a deep breath, you pushed yourself up, barely making it to a standing position before the pain overcame you again. You risked a look to your clavicle, and to your dismay, it was looking a whole (no pun intended) lot worse. You figured that you should've known that sleeping it off wouldn't heal a literal stab wound, but what the hell, it was worth a shot. The blood loss caught up to you making you lightheaded, and as you stumbled to your horse, you thought you were hallucinating, because you could swear that you heard Joel's voice.

The version of him that your mind had cruelly made up was coming closer, and jesus christ you were hallucinating Ellie's voice now too. The trees around you started to spin, and when you saw them turn towards the crest of the hill you looked up from, you actually laughed.

You were about to possibly die, and your mind had to punish you for it.

Calling up to the false images, you got their attention with slurred speech. "Shit, you can't even let me go in peace, can you?" Another sour laugh followed your accusation, and the hallucinations had their own conversation before rushing down to you.

Getting off Callus, Ellie slapped Joel's chest at the sight of your shoulder. "Holy fucking shit, guess we know what the blood trail led to." She moved to you after that with Joel not too far behind, but you put all the remaining strength into stepping back from them.

"I know you're both not real, but I don't know why you're still here." This must have been the precursor to death's entrance because that could be the only rationale for this. "You clearly got your way, Joel, now go away so I can please die with some closure."

It was a shame that this is how you went really, with a wound from a dirty blade, but alas. Fake-Joel crossed the distance between the three of you, grabbing onto your good side with eyes wide, examining the injury. "When did this happen?" His eyes sought yours, and you rolled yours in response. "Ellie! Get the bandages from my pack!"

You gave a poor attempt at backing away. "Can't you just leave me be? You told me to go and made it quite clear how you felt about me." You were slipping, and could feel the darkness whispering your name.

"I'm real, this is real honey."

The little amount of push in you snapped, because you scowled in response. "Don't call me honey." You glanced at his hands, noticing that they were moving to the wound. "Plus, if you were real, I wouldn't want to speak to you. So what, I said that I loved--" A gasp caught the end of your sentence, the pain clearing your sight as he started to put pressure on your shoulder. "--love you, but you knew it anyway. We were a family, like you said, and I let my guard down for you--" You had used more energy than you thought on that last sentence, with nothing more than a whisper allowing itself to get through for any other words you had.

Ellie had given Joel gauze by then, and he started packing the wound as best he could. "El, get the horses together, we're takin' them back." He spoke your name then, and you wanted to cry out to the universe for making you think this up. "Bet that felt real, yeah? Listen, I know I said some things earlier, but I really didn't mean them. I'm not that good with bein' vulnerable yet, and I'm still learnin', but I shouldn't have acted that way." Your name spilled from his lips again, and why was he saying all of this now? He continued to talk, but you didn't hear anymore, your eyes unfocusing and starting to shut, the darkness finally coming to claim you.

--

It had been nearly a full day that you were out, and even though Joel knew that it was partially due to whatever the doc had given you, he was damn near terrified. All of the day's events seemed like a blur, and by the time he was given the okay to stay in the room with you, he had had his fair share of tears. Ellie sat next to him in the chairs he brought up from the dining room, the temporary cot in his room that held you looking extremely out of place.

He had apologized to you more times than he could count while you were out, but the guilt that still racked him rang strong. He had failed, again, this time because he was too bull-headed to talk it out.

Ellie's nudges brought him out of his train of thought, her voice saying your name as your eyes opened. A string of cusses flowed from you as you came to, and he couldn't help but chuckle. Once he had offered you some water, he saw your features twist into skepticism.

"If I'm dead, this is not what I was expecting."

Of course you'd say something like that, trying to diffuse any awkwardness of the situation. Joel played off of it, because he'd prefer this to anger any day. "Yeah, we're actually angels."

That got a snort out of Ellie, and a weak smile from you, one of his own following not soon after.

A few seconds passed in the welcomed silence of each other's presence, but all too soon things became real again.

"I don't know how much you remember from out there, but you gave us a real scare." His hand gingerly reached for your arm, silently asking for permission to hold it, sighing a breath of relief when you nodded. You weren't one for physical touch, especially after an argument, so this felt like a hopeful sign "I really am sorry about what I said to you. I shouldn't have, and I didn't mean a lick of it. I care about you more than I have for nearly anyone else, and I--" The words caught in his throat, and your eyes followed his as they searched the room for an answer.

"Joel," you murmured, eyes on him. "Shit happened, we can talk about it all later, yeah? You don't have to give any confessions now." You kept trying to break the tension there, and he could assume it was due to Ellie being there.

He pushed through though, because Joel Miller was a stubborn man, and damn it if he hadn't been working up the courage to say it since you all re-entered Jackson's gates. "No, no, I want to say it, and I mean it."

"I love you too."

#joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller #joel miller fluff #joel miller apologist #joel miller angst #the last of us #tlou #tlou fanfiction #tlou hbo #the last of us fanfiction #ellie williams #the last of us spoilers #tlou spoilers #tlou hbo spoilers #pedro pascal

[ritens]

∞ Arisen & Pawn Character Introductions

Original template by @arisenreborn

Probably will come back to edit this at some point. I wrote it while numbed out of my mind from medicine.

♛ THE ARISEN:

NAME: Raures AGE: 123 (whatever that means) RACE: Elf PRONOUNS: he/him PREFERRED VOCATION: Magic Archer FAVORED GIFTS: fish, selfmade things FAMILY: no longer in the picture. They fell to the dragon.

POSITIVE TRAITS: gentle, keeps his word, patient, hard-working NEGATIVE TRAITS: stubborn, huge flirt, gullible LIKES: fishing, exploring and gathering materials for various craft projects. DISLIKES: rainy muddy days

1. What was their life like before becoming Arisen?

Rau lived with his parents away from other elves. They preferred a more simple but labor-intensive life among humankind’s common folk. Father was a hunter and taught Rau the way of the magic archer. Mother was a mender with a great knowledge of medicinal herb usage. Humans taught Rau archery and thief skills for wilderness survival. He also learned their language.

The family moved towns and villages every 10 years to conceal the aging differences between the two races, essentially avoiding the possibility of becoming chiefs or other figures with higher responsibility.

Raures became Arisen in an attempt at buying time for his parents to escape the burning village. The attempt was unsuccessful but the dragon deemed him worthy.

2. How do they handle being Arisen, and the responsibilities that come with it?

He is mourning the family he lost but even so he does his best to move forward and do what is expected of an Arisen despite his pawn’s chagrin. He doesn’t fully grasp what he’s doing, just feels like he has to.

3. What are their thoughts on Pawns in general?

Pawn rights activist. He finds all of them to be quite cute.

4. What's their relationship like with their main Pawn?

Rau opted to “adopt” an existing pawn to be his main instead of shaping his own perfect image of a pawn to avoid bias. The two have a lot of opposing opinions on matters and Rau has no idea that Lane already has a bit of his own will which he's maintained from master to master throughout his conscious life.

Raures sees Lane's episodes of fear and paranoia as normal pawn behaviour, but treats his companion with care and respect no matter what may come up. He is very fond of Lane and forbids the pawn from traversing the rift to other worlds to assist other Arisen who may call upon him. He doesn’t want Lane to end up as brutalized as he was when Rau first met him.

5. Do they have any interest in being Sovran? What are their opinions on the politics of the world in general?

He’s too much of a farmboy to care much about what goes on in the life of the rich and noble. The prospect of being Sovran seems exhausting to Rau, but if need be, he would take on the role. But avoid spending much time at the palace. It’s also likely Lane would hold him back from all this mumbo jumbo anyway.

6. Who are their love interest(s) and/or closest friends?

Rau’s closest companion is obviously his pawn. He doesn’t form lasting relationships with people aside from the local baker. And he indulges in short lived dalliances now and then.

7. What drew them to their preferred vocation? Do they have history with it? 

He keeps pursuing the way of the Magic Archer as a way to honour his elven roots but isn’t bound to just one vocation. Survival asks for many skills and he hones whatever he can.

8. Do they have any hobbies? Any way of relaxing between all that monster-slaying and traveling?

Suck and fuck. He enjoys fishing a great deal which is a rather fruitful hobby as it’s fun and it provides food. Rau has been making birch skin baskets and other tools since childhood. Originally picked up the craft to avoid buying these items in bigger cities as travel by oxcart often ends up being catastrophic. Now as an Arisen who is constantly on the move, he makes the baskets and leaves them as gifts for the villagers he happens to visit.

♟︎ THE PAWN:

NAME: Lane AGE: appears young adult RACE: human PRONOUNS: he/him PREFERRED VOCATION: Thief FAVORED GIFTS: soft warm clothes, bread INCLINATION: Calm

POSITIVE TRAITS: clever, creative, humble, observant NEGATIVE TRAITS: withdrawn, fearful, unreliable, low self-esteem LIKES: bread, Raures, afternoon naps DISLIKES: stale bread, being manhandled, loud people

1. What was their life like prior to being summoned by their Arisen?

Lane served many Arisen. His first was Amaury from Gransys who summoned him in the shape of their deceased brother. The pawn ended up a tad corpse-like in appearance and while it didn’t bother Amaury at first, it eventually resulted in them becoming uncomfortable once they accepted the fact their real brother is gone for good. By that time Lane had already developed his own bit of will, and sapped enough of the Arisen’s spirit to also develop Amaury’s negative emotions (and even a streak of their golden locks of hair). Lane ended up killing his own master out of fear during an argument.

He didn’t return beyond the rift afterwards and became a street rat who survived by using his strider->thief abilities to steal from people.

Plagued by aimlessness the pawn answered the summons of other Arisen in other worlds who would order him around, sometimes harshly and cruelly. But the pawn desperately desired a sense of purpose and so he went with the flow, ignoring his human aspects as best as he could.

2. What is their opinion on the Arisen? How do they view their relationship?

Lane was stunned when he first saw who had summoned him in Vermund. The face of his second Arisen from ages past in a different world. The first Rau had summoned him and made Lane his main pawn in a similar fashion. He was Lane’s favorite master. But, unfortunately, he fell in battle against the dragon.

As Lane learns more of this Vermundian Rau, he gets more and more determined to prevent the same outcome that his former master was fated to meet. Lane selfishly and desperately clings to Raures and does everything he can to get the Arisen to settle and let someone else take the wheel of the cycle.

3. Is there anything about the Arisen they find troublesome?

The pawn is very much bothered by the Arisen’s frequent visits to the Bordelrie though he won’t say a word about it. The Arisen does get treated to a cold shoulder for it though.

4. What is their specialization and is there any story behind how they cultivated that skill set?

Raures taught Lane elvish language as a bonding exercise. But now Lane uses the skill to listen in on conversations he has no business knowing about.

5. Do they have any thoughts on the politics of the world and their place in it as a Pawn - or how Pawns are treated?

He accepts things as they are for the most part but has his low moments where he wishes more people treated him as something other than a resource.

6. Does their journey with the Arisen change them in any significant way and how?

Though he himself doesn’t realize it, Raures helps Lane calm down and open up to the joys of life outside servitude. Lane learns what fun is, what friendship is and what it means to love unconditionally. He begins to stand up for himself.

7. Is there a reason they chose their preferred vocation?

Lane is a thief in the literal sense of the word. He had to get by while Masterless and he did so by stealing.

8. Do they have any hobbies or preferred past-times? 

During his time on the streets post-Amaury Lane picked up drawing with coal on cobblestones and has since moved on to other mediums and continues to hone his art skills. He usually scribbles sceneries and detailed drawings of plants, but lately has been toying with human silhouettes as well.

#dragon's dogma 2 #arisen-rau #pawn-lane #TRIED TO DRAW #forgot rau's markings...