#and you gotta keep this in mind for every emotional moment in his era. calling tegan's departure unsentimental... like sure. ok. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

newgames22 · 9 months

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Atlas Fallen: A Windy Odyssey of Limited Charm

Amidst the bustling year filled with awe-inspiring releases, including Atlas Fallen which attempts to carve its niche with a name that's somewhat reminiscent of AI-generated titles, hardly captivates. Nevertheless, nestled within the second half of the gaming calendar, this AA endeavor evokes nostalgia for the PS2 era, offering a different yet valuable experience - making it a great addition to your list when looking to buy PS5 games. A tutorial introduces a surreal world where a blue Avatar-esque protagonist leaps between sandy outcroppings, setting the tone for an enigmatic journey. Customization, though somewhat constrained, augments the experience.

As the curtain rises, the character, dubbed "Unnamed," aspires to galvanize downtrodden laborers against their oppressors, amid a sandstorm-stricken caravan. The unfolding narrative takes us through confrontations, a stolen object, and the daunting prospect of survival. Amidst the wind-whipped desert, a persistent voice beckons, embodied by a chatty gauntlet. A tussle with wraith-like creatures ensues, leading to the reclamation of the pilfered item, only to have it snatched anew by Morrath, the camp's leader. Retrieving the gauntlet through sand-surfing and a precipitous descent sets the stage for the true adventure. The narrative's initial blandness gives way to a more compelling second half, where intrigue gradually builds. Despite the potential, characters exhibit mere cardboard-like personalities, particularly the Unnamed protagonist who remains a blank canvas. Their interactions lack emotional depth, save for climactic revelations that stir suppressed feelings. Regrettably, the inclusion of talking clothing and accessories proves an ill-conceived trope. The story's potential allure falters amidst these disappointments, grappling to fully engage players.

Atlas Fallen: Embracing Fun and Adventure in a Quirky Action RPG World

Now, let me keep it real with you. Not every game needs to blow your mind, right? Sometimes, it's okay for a game to just be plain fun without trying to change the whole gaming universe. And you know what? While enjoying the gaming experience, you might even find yourself thinking, "Hey, I should buy PS5 games to add to my collection!" That's where Atlas Fallen comes in – a super cool third-person action RPG that's all about teaming up and taking down bad guys. But hey, I won't lie, sometimes it trips over its shoelaces a bit. But guess what? That's part of the ride, and I'm cool with it.

Picture this: you're diving into a world where a Sun god called Thelos is pulling all the strings, making humans mine this super important thing called Essence. You're not just anyone – you're an Unnamed, basically the underdog of the world. You stumble upon this ancient thing called the Gauntlet, which gives you these amazing sand powers. Plus, there's this rad spirit buddy named Nyaal who's got your back, like the trusty sidekick you've always wanted. You're teaming up with a crew called the Knights of Bastengar to take down Thelos and his partner in crime, the Queen. Yeah, it's gonna get wild! Atlas is like this epic sandbox, a mix of desolation and hidden stories just waiting for you to uncover. It's not like a super duper open-world, but there's enough space to let your inner explorer run wild. And guess what? It looks pretty darn good, with options for how it looks – kinda like when you can pick different Instagram filters, but for your game. 📸

I gotta be real upfront here – the first hour might make you raise an eyebrow or two, but trust me, push through. I had a moment where I was like, "Did they trick me with all those cool trailers?" But nope, there's more to it, and I'm here to make sure you don't miss out on the good stuff. Let's talk about the nitty-gritty, though. Like, yeah, there are a few hiccups along the way. NPCs sometimes forget their lines, the game stutters like someone telling a scary story, and there's this one time a big baddie crashed my chat session. 😂 But hold up, don't let that scare you off. It's like when you're hanging with your buddies and someone spills a drink – annoying, but it won't ruin the party. Oh, and here's the scoop – the characters' voices are a bit like a world tour. My character went from sounding like they're straight outta America to suddenly being all British. It's like they've got a secret twin or something! Honestly, it's a bit weird, but I bet most of us won't even notice. So, if you're down for an epic ride where you team up, rock those sand powers, and show Thelos who's boss, give Atlas Fallen a shot. Just remember, the first hour might be a bit like the opening act of a concert, but trust me, the headliner is worth it. Keep gaming, legends!

Atlas Fallen: Riding the Sand Waves of Victory

Exhilarating Open-World Adventure

Atlas Fallen isn't just a game, it's a wild ride through a stunning open world covered in surfable dunes. Imagine carving your path, riding the sand waves like a boss, and exploring every nook and cranny of a beautifully designed world.

Challenging Enemies, Epic Battles

Prepare for heart-pounding action as you face off against challenging enemies. The developers behind Atlas Fallen have a track record of delivering intense combat experiences, and they've brought that expertise to the table. Engage in epic battles that will put your skills to the test and keep you on the edge of your seat.

From Zero to Hero Storyline

Ever dreamed of going from being an everyday nobody to a legendary hero? In Atlas Fallen, you get to live out that fantasy. Start as a lower-class citizen known as an "Unnamed," and witness the transformation as you find a magical gauntlet that bonds with you, granting you the power to challenge an evil god and change the world's destiny.

Next-Gen Gaming Bliss

Leave the last generation behind and embrace the power of current-gen hardware. Atlas Fallen pushes the boundaries of what's possible in gaming, delivering a visually stunning experience that will make your jaw drop. It's not just a game; it's a showcase of what the latest technology can achieve.

Unveil the Story of Struggle and Hope

Step into a world torn apart by an evil god's oppressive reign, where hope seems distant and inequality rules. As you embark on your journey, you'll uncover the layers of a gripping narrative that'll keep you hooked from start to finish. The momentum of Atlas Fallen's storytelling grips you from the very first battle and never let's go.

So, there you have it - Atlas Fallen is the adventure you've been waiting for. Get ready to ride the sand, face incredible challenges, and rewrite the fate of a world desperate for a hero. It's time to level up your gaming experience with Atlas Fallen and show the world what a true hero is made of!

#atlas fallen

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thecarrieonokay · 3 years

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Macgyver 5x13 Thoughts

Once again guys, I warn you that there is no discernible structure to this rant. These are just the things that stood out to me. Do I even need to warn you about my language at this point?!

Overall feeling of this one was like a tasty, cozy three course Italian meal. Then espresso for afters. Kudos to the creative team for the way they were genuinely able to make Georgia feel like the Italian countryside.

“I have thick hair.” Yes Mac. We know. Everyone has noticed. Your hair is, frankly, luscious. EVEN when it’s slicked back with oil.

The airbags- Desi: “That’s not gonna work.” [*it works*] ”Never mind! Super cool!” --- Sweetie, you gotta know this shit USUALLY works. It’s sort of Mac’s thing.

OF COURSE Mac knows his Bond. That makes me SUPREMELY happy. Listen, I am SUCH a Bond nerd that I got the Goldfinger reference immediately (did a little sqeeeee! I literally have a vintage Bond poster in my house) and it REALLY irrationally pissed me off that Desi didn’t get it. I mean… the DB5? CU’MON GURL!!

“Now you see me, now you don’t.” RUSS. This cracked me up. Seriously. He’s doing what all of them would be doing if they could and he’s only doing it because he can get away with it because HE’S THE BOSS! SUCH a child. But he’s also a child with power and money. Case in point: his conversation with Riley regarding her past. A lot of people have gone into this already so I’ll just say that Russ has a lesson to learn here and Riley’s gonna fucking TEACH. YOU EAT THAT FORMAGGIO GURL. WE’RE WITH YOU!

MAC and his hands. That moment he couldn’t release the oil (“There’s another corner. This is our LAST CHANCE!”: way to up the tension, writers!). The beautiful post oil-slick vignette shot. The lingering shot where he’s holding his hand behind his back in front of Desi. Asking Bozer to look into his Dad’s cancer symptoms--- THAT is confessing his worst fear. OOF. That hurts. He knows they rely on him. He KNOWS if he admits what’s going on everyone will freak out… and “so many people have died to save (him)”. And what’s more, he and Riley SHARE this fear. Their hands are how they “help people”. They’re scared for themselves AND for each other.

1994 hunter green JEEP WRANGLER? Of course. He’s MACGYVER!!

Also. The CIA’s top neurologist is a woman of colour and not an old white guy and I can’t tell you how happy that casting makes me!!

MAC & DESI moving in? Keeping medical issues secret? Dumbing down Macsplaining lingo? DUAL character voiceovers (fuckin’ love the twist there!! Character development and progress!!)?! This has also been talked about but I’ll just add that the physical comedy between the two of them was funny as fuck throughout the whole episode. Also, the story is progressing nicely showing that though they may be incompatible as a couple, they have forged a love that will see them through as friends and professional partners in future. (FYI, I think this may be the first ep where one of them referred to the other as a “partner”?)

RILEY & MAC are always in sync with each other. Especially obvious in contrast to the way Desi couldn’t stop herself from asking ‘why’ every time Mac told her to do something when she was first getting used to ‘being his hands’. I don’t think Riley had ever asked ‘why’. She’s always just done it.

DR. DOUBLE-0-BOZE! MVP as usual. Legend. And his ‘subjects’ really are cute. But do we need to talk about the NO ANIMAL TESTING RULE?! Ok, ok. Exceptional circumstances. I get it. Kind of.

MATTY. “She can pop in like that whenever she wants”. She’s calling out dirty Italian cops OVER THE PHONE. She knows ALL about Riley and her team of former felon hackers. She was in full-on protective mamma mode. She feels responsible. She would “never let her emotions dictate Phoenix strategy”... until she does. And she broke my heart at the end- I don’t think we’ve ever seen her look so helpless as she watched the broker being murdered.

AND her team are disobeying her. Guys. The team is slightly fractured here. And as we all know, the team only work well together if they’re a solid, TRUSTING unit. This is a big plot point.

Still no scene between Riley and Desi. I’m waiting patiently guys!

This Monica Macer era is shaping up exactly how I hoped it would. I’m trying REALLY hard not to be devastated by it. Whatever happens, I’m confident the next two episodes will be exceptional. <3

ALSO SHOUTOUT TO THE FANDOM IN GENERAL!! You guys are AWESOME! So much love. Trending. Cast sharing the love. Petition is growing FAST! Paperclips flying everywhere!! It makes me happy to see. Just know if I could be doing it live with you, I would be. <3 <3 <3

Now I’m off to meditate so I can concentrate on writing and not the Macgyver cancellation for a bit...

#macgyver #macgyver 5x13 #episode thoughts #savemacgyver #carrie's thoughts #all hail the macgyver fandom!!

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rinharu-purple · 3 years

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Lucien: MLQC’s Mastermind

Yes, I said that Lucien is the creepiest LI in my opinion, and I wouldn’t choose him in a million, billion years. BUT, Lucien is by far the one person, who is pulling the strings and is the driving force of the MLQC universe. He is the only person who acquires all the information from all sides and is connected to every important actor in the story. Therefore, Lucien has become the second LI I’ve started to follow more attentively. Mind that the ranking ist 1) Gavin 2) Gavin 3) Gavin 4) Lucien ;)

In my manifesto, why Gavin is MC’s choice, I’ve already mentioned briefly, that Lucien has the strongest EVOL among all the characters but is also the strongest character (it’s not the MC or the Black Queen, let’s not fool ourselves)

The Machiavellian

Before we talk about Lucien’s part in the MLQC universe, we should first look at him as person and observe the elements that make up his personality.

In the game, all our guys have their personal priorities. Gavin and Kiro are on the front line, fighting for peace and prosperity, Victor, well...I don’t think that he cares for anything else besides MC, maybe his position. But with Lucien, his priority is not a person or a concept, but rather a philosophy. Lucien wants to see the next step in human evolution and is determined to take any measures necessary to see it to it’s end. Other guys can not stand oblivious to other things that come up their way in achieving their goals but Lucien only has his eyes on the prize and to him nothing else matters, no one else matters and no ethics matter.

Machiavellianism denotes cunningness and claims, that those dark triads use whatever means necessary to gain power. If we consider the choices Lucien has made throughout the story so far, we can clearly find his manipulative ways in getting other actors to the positions of his conjecture. He lies to MC and hides his personality as Ares, penetrates Black Swan to use their facilities, but also uses LFG’s resources for his R&D projects all the while concealing his true nature.

Another trait of a Machiavellian, is that he is charismatic and friendly, all the while displaying no emotions. I think, there can be two possible reasons as to why Lucien has limited display of emotions. The first possible explanation has something to do with his parents passing and the trauma he suffered afterwards. Among all LIs Lucien is the one with the most loveless childhood and teenage years, the most important years in developing one’s psychological traits and during those years Lucien received alongside with Kiro the most blows. That resulted in him losing the connection to his emotions as a defense mechanism.

Another possibility might be him losing the connection to his emotions as a result of a chemical reaction in his brain due to excessive testing Black Swan objected him to. Lucien’s EVOL was created in a lab and he was the first man-made Evolver. Lucien is called various times a psychopath, because he shows signs of psychopathy such as lack of remorse, empathy or compassion. It is said that that kind of behavior might occur due to a misconnection between the ventromedial prefrontal cortex (vmPFC) and the amygdala. Considering the fact that Lucien’s parents were killed right in front of him and that he was both physically and psychologically abused for the coming years, this might have led him to experience an imbalance in his chemical balance. One might argue, that his altruistic actions in the orphanage are an evidence for his compassion, I think it is yet another disguise for his unethical ways of reaching his goals.

The Orchestrator

In all honesty no one is actively seeking alliances and keeps tabs on other’s actions for their agenda like Lucien does. Maybe Commander Leto but he mostly fails in drawing others to his side, because he is not able to speak in their pendants’ language or resonate with their perspective. Lucien, on the other hand, is gifted with an extraordinary ability to observe his surroundings and companions, making it very easy for him to talk to them in their terms and desires. Lucien doesn’t show much empathy, UNLESS, it contributes to his cause, in that case he can perfectly put himself in other’s shoes and plays them in such a meticulous way, that they join him willingly.

That is how Lucien directs MC successfully in entering the Black Cabin or in understanding the evolution core.

Lucien is not exactly a piece on a chess board, but is a player, who knows all the pieces very well, knows the rules of the game, has observed many games and took notes of how they all has turned out and therefore knows what kind of a game he is going to play. Just watch closely. how he co-operates with Kiro and the Black Queen. He knows that Kiro is using Black Swan for his goals, much like he does, so he uses his hacking abilities to access to information. The Black Queen is the initiator of everything in S1, so he makes sure to stay close to her. He knows that Victor is searching for MC and trying to understand the Evol gene, there he has an investor.

The Cool, Calm and Collected Type

in the MLQC universe, everyone loses their composure at one point or another, because...who wouldn’t? Time and space warps constantly and people are also changing their stances depending on the time-space constellation they find themselves in.

MC loses her cool almost on a daily basis, Gavin was in a constant haywire in the Daybreak era, Victor literally threw people into black holes in CH11 and freaked out as he saw the Black Queen for the first time and Kiro walks around in a bipolar state. So, everybody is pretty unstable due to understandable conditions but we never see Lucien lose his cool and this is one of his best qualities.

Here is the thing about Lucien. This guy is always at least one step ahead of everyone and he achieves this by two simple rules:

1) Acquire all possible information

2) Observe everyone and everything at all times

Why am I saying this? It lies in the basis of anxiety and angst. We humans tend to feel uncomfortable in the face of an uncertain situation, meaning in the wake of the unknown. MC is constantly anxious, because she doesn’t know what is going on, why is everyone after her, why is she blessed with the unconditional affection of 5 equally attractive men? (ehm, but not quite equally ehm *Gavin* hihi, sorry, Gavin-stan gotta Gavin-stan ^_^). Anyway you get the picture. Gavin went haywire in CH22 because he was pushed in a tight spot and therefore had angst. Same goes for Victor in CH11 his mind went blank as he saw history repeating itself and then in CH18 when he saw with his own eyes what could the girl of his dreams might become.

We don’t see Lucien in such deadlock situation though do we, and I think it is mainly because he is always prepared for every possibility and he can calculate them meticulously, because he possesses the largest chunk of information and also keeps tabs on everyone and everything that’s going on. So, when a crisis occurs he doesn’t freak out, sure he gets surprised at times, because the outcome of a a certain situation is the possibility, which he calculated to be no higher than 1% and yet there it is. But since he’s already took this into consideration, he has a plan. Combine this with his knowledge about the persons and organizations involved in the matter, then you have a calm Lucien, who is in control of the situation. Thus, he is calm. You can actually also bind this behavior of Lucien with that of a predator, whose movement are languid, is non-reactive and doesn’t mind turning his back to his opponents, since he doesn’t perceive them as a threat.

If this wasn’t enough, Lucien manages to joggle all of this without exposing himself. Even in the last stage of the play he never gets caught. Unless he willingly exposes himself, as in the case of revealing Ares to MC. MLQC actors can usually see through each other and use their weaknesses to meet their own ends. MC is obviously Gavin, Kiro and Victor’s weakness and their opponents can see this pretty easily. IT’s not quite the same with Lucien though and he doesn’t let himself be blackmailed or threatened by any weakness. He always keeps his cards close to his chest.

Considering the fact that Lucin is the least outstanding LI, this is pretty impressive. So I guess this makes him the embodiment of the phrase “still waters run deep”.

The Renaissance Man

Lucien is a man of science and aesthetics. Explaining phenomenons with associations and loading them with philosophical substance. He doesn’t necessarily perceive things bluntly as they are, but interprets them in a meaningful way. The way he associates MC with a butterfly, how he wants to entrap her in ajar, so she wouldn’t get away, alas taking the only resource of color in his life away. Not only that, but he can also break down the matters at hand to its fragments and can therefore work his way up from there. He is blessed with a strong deduction ability, so he can connect the dots easily, come to a conclusion and act accordingly. No doubt that the other guys have very good deduction abilities, but because Lucien always has a bit of an information more than them, he can find the solutions just a little bit faster in my opinion.

Reading is a necessity for his guy much like eating and drinking, Which is why we see him reframing events in the context of a certain story he’d read at some point in his life. With time, I will add here some of his quotes about certain situations to explain what I mean. Or even better, if you have some, that are evident in you opinion, you could add them in the comments. I really enjoy reading/hearing Lucien’s philosophical, scientific explanations to certain moments in MC’s life. They are always to the point and helpful.

-------------

So this is my very first analysis on Lucien and I have to admit, I still have so many material to check on him, so if anything is missing please bear with me here :)

I was watching Joe’s Twitch while I wrote this, so there are many spelling, grammar mistakes, which will be corrected gradually.

This post will get better and better, scout promise!

#mlqc #mlqc lucien #mlqc simon #mlqc xumo #mlqc xu mo #mr. love queen's choice #I had to rewrite a large part of this because my PC #broke down #so this post will be edited around a 100 times #Im sorry

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sxveme-2 · 3 years

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blueberry pancakes // bucky barnes

MASTERLIST

Description: A single mother. Juggling being a mom, a full time pediatrician, and a difficult ex who believed now would be the best time to finally be a father. A soldier ripped out of time. Ex-assassin turned superhero. Learning how to balance a new domestic life with handling demons of his past, while facing the trials of the future. a love story began over something as simple as chocolate chip pancakes with hidden blueberries.

Disclaimer: I do not own any original Marvel characters! All canon plots and canon characters belong to Marvel Comics and Marvel Studios. This is an original work. You may not publish it anywhere else

Status: Edited

Note: Takes place after endgame. I have elected to ignore Tony's death and Steve's leaving. Did not happen. Quick Reminder! My works are only published here, AO3 and on Wattpad, thank you.

Chapter Five: The One with the Tour

Warnings: N/A

Word Count: 2476

Scott Harvey was a manipulative man. He knew how to get what he wanted when he wanted and was never one to take no for an answer. He'd do whatever it took to ensure he had people wrapped around his finger so that he could snap his fingers and have what he desired in his hands at a moment’s notice. And Lily fell for that. She became the next in a long line of women who were eating out of the palm of his hand, all because he promised her the world. He promised her security, happiness, and peace. Instead, she got fear, chaos, and emotional trauma. The exact thing she was terrified of. He used her anxiety against her, used the fragility of her mind to keep her trapped in his web like a fly.

She was sort of thankful for Mary. she was a sweet woman, the two got along and were pretty amicable. Lily knew if she needed anything, Mary would help out, and vice versa. Because you can have a messy marriage, but keep a healthy relationship with the wrecking ball that destroyed the thin wall that still stood. Lily was grateful for Mary because she was able to open the blonde’s eyes to see what was going on. The web of lies that Scott had caught Lily in, like a spider, finding its next meal.

And every time she saw him, saw that sideways smile and forehead creases, all of the emotions he caused caught up to Lily in a ball, and took up camp in the middle of her throat, rendering her speechless for the majority of their brief conversations. Which is where we pick up, in the hallway of Scott and Mary's apartment building, Scott holding his daughter, Leila, in his arms. something Lily didn't believe she had ever seen her ex do with their son.

"Traffic was insane...sorry I'm a little late." Lily mumbled, her broken eyes darting everywhere, in an attempt to keep them from making contact with the deep-set hazel of Scott’s iris'.

"Don't apologize. I'll never complain about spending a bit longer with Hunter." Scott said, his voice still as soft as a marshmallow. Lily couldn't help but wince ever so gently as it floated into her ears, sending a rush of adrenaline and nerves to her heart, picking up its pace.

"Mom!" a young boy’s voice called before bursting past the older man, almost knocking down his mother, gripping onto her waist.

"Hey kiddo," Lily smiled, hand running through the blonde locks atop of her son’s head, smiling gently as he hid his face into her side. turning her attention back to Scott, she gave a weak smile, "Thanks for letting me pick him up early. my parents are coming down for dinner."

“No problem. Say hi to Abel and Alicia for me," Scott smiled, causing a shiver to run down Lily's spine. The idea of saying that Scott said hi made Lily sick to her stomach. Her parents despised the father of their grandson, for good reason. As far as the Osborne parents were concerned, Scott was a dead man, "See ya, buddy."

Saying a quick goodbye, Lily and Hunter found themselves back in the car as quickly as the conversation that just happened. Hunter was quiet at first, waiting for Lily to regain her composure for the second time that day. Her forehead rested on the leather of her steering wheel, deep breaths escaping her lips as her fingers wrapped around the wheel. A few moments later, Lily relaxed back into her seat, turning on the car.

"So Grandma and Grandpa are coming over?" Hunter asked, breaking the comfortable silence the mother and son had going on, "When did you find out?"

Lily tried her best to repress the smile the threatened to explode onto her face. She loved giving Hunter surprises. With everything the boy has been through, being able to see his face light up when he's faced with something unexpected was the only high she'd ever need. It was rare to see such extreme emotion out of Hunter, and let alone something as raw as the joy he gets with surprises. And this one that she had planned, it would go down in history. He would be talking about it for ages to come, for the rest of his life even. That's what Lily wanted, for him to create perfect childhood memories he'd be able to tell his kids in the future. To gather them up around the table at Christmas and pass stories around about how he and Grandma spent a day with Earth’s mightiest heroes and got to see where they worked. That was the goal of a parent, to make their child's days as memorable as they could.

"Oh the other day they mentioned it, but nothing was ever confirmed. I got a text this morning from Grandma about it," Lily hummed nonchalantly as she pulled out of the Brooklyn apartment complex, and turned onto the busy roads.

Connecting his phone to the Apple car play that came with the vehicle, Hunter spoke again, "That'll be nice. I know you miss seeing them sometimes. Long Island is so far away from Manhattan, why did you move away?"

Lily's smile grew wide, the dimple in her cheek creating a cavern of happiness at her son’s words. He was as intuitive as they come, and as observant as all get out. Truly, Lily believed herself to be one of the luckiest mothers in the world to be blessed with an angel-like Hunter. He was pure of heart and as sharp as a whip. He always picked up on Lily's microaggressions, and all of the small mannerisms she showed while in certain moods. She was never sure how he became as smart as he did, but doctors insisted it was because of her intelligence. That it carried on down to her son, and how he reflected her as a child. And Lily lived a loving and wonderful childhood, so hopefully, that too would relay to her son.

Reaching over to ruffle his hair, Lily let out a gentle sigh, "Well Hunter, I moved out here to the city with Auntie Gen when I graduated high school. I got into Columbia University, which was my dream school. So I came out here to study, while Aunt Gen was over in NYU, studying business. I moved out here for the opportunity, and I'm glad I did because you were the result."

Hunter let out a small noise as he acknowledged the story that his mother just shared while scanning Spotify for the best playlist. The two loved the eighties and nineties, so he settled on a premade group of songs from that era. The bass boomed throughout the car as the two began to belt out the lyrics to Billie Jean by Michael Jackson. It was moments like these when Lily felt most content. Just her and Hunter, living their best lives together as they sang to oldies but goodies. Being able to see his eyes light up whenever they passed a cool-looking building or when they saw a cute dog or one that looked like Joey. Her favourite moment though, the cream of the crop is when he sings. Though not a professional, he always looked so at ease while letting his voice dance through the car.

About twenty minutes into the drive, he caught on though, "This isn't the way home. Where are we going?" his voice rang, turning down the volume of the Lionel Richie.

She had to think quickly. If he noticed the slightest of hesitation in Lily's speech, the surprise would be blown, and he wouldn't be surprised when they didn't stop at home. So, she did what she thought would throw him off the most, "We've gotta hit a grocery store on the way home. Aunt Gen needs something for the cafe and this is the only place that sells it near here. Is that okay kiddo?"

Nodding, he turned the music back up. This meant that he believed what she said. If he didn't, he'd press on further. Interrogating Lily until he got the truth out of her. He would make a hell of a lawyer in the future, due to the strange ability he had of getting into people’s minds. He was like Scott in that way, but different at the same time. He never used it to manipulate, or use people, but to find out the truth. Get the answers. learn. That was Hunter’s goal, not to make people the puppets in his little game. he was curious, that was all.

Shortly after the small conversation between the two introverts, Lily took the turn that would lead them straight to the compound. Her aged eyes glanced towards the world that sat in her passenger seat. He hadn't noticed yet, and Lily was thankful. It would be more exhilarating if he didn't realize until they went up to the door. Knocking on the door and having someone like Captain America answer? Now that was something that Lily would love to witness. To see her son's heart swell at the sight of one of his heroes answering the door. She could only imagine what he would say, and couldn't seem to fathom how he would react.

Pulling into the parking lot, Lily stopped the car and turned it off, capturing Hunters’ attention. He sat up in his seat and glanced out the window, a confused yet intrigued look masking his typical stoic facial expression. Stepping out of the car, Lily gestured with her left hand to follow her up towards the doors. Hesitantly, Hunter followed along, his shoes making gentle noises on the rocks and pebbles below his feet.

"Where are we?" he questioned, hand slipping into the fragile one of his mothers, "and why are your hands always so cold?"

Lily remained silent, simply walking up the stairs of the compound. Her neck craned to look down at the bewildered boy, who couldn't help but swivel his head around in an attempt to recognize his surroundings. But the only time he would have ever seen this place was maybe in pictures, so Lily was sure that she had gotten the surprise in the bag. That she was able to dupe the boy that could rarely ever be surprised. Now that would be an accomplishment.

Lily's free hand reached up and knocked on the grey doors in front of them, pursing and nibbling on her lips in an attempt to hide the mischievous and prideful grin that threatened to give away the present. She had been looking forward to this moment the entire car ride, hardly being able to contain the excitement that rushed through her veins at the idea of her son’s wildest dreams coming true. Well, his wildest dream would be to become an Avenger or any sort of superhero. But a mother could only do so much.

Voices rang out behind the door before it was swung open to reveal Sam Wilson. The man who had originally offered to take the eleven-year-old boy on a tour of the place, "Lily! you made it, was starting to get worried you two would bail on us," he teased, chocolate brown eyes readjusting to look down at the blonde boy beside Lily, "Hey Hunter, nice to see you again."

Her son’s hand had slipped out of her own, which caught Lily's attention. she looked down at him and felt her heart swell about a million times bigger than it already was. His smile reached ear to ear, cheeks growing to a rosy red and his pupils dilated to eleven. He seemed frozen, stuck to his one position on the porch step of the Avengers compound. Her frail hand tapped the boy on the back, urging him to respond and walk into the building.

"He's a tad awestruck it seems," Lily chuckled, taking his small hand into her own and walking past the threshold of the home, "It took me a bit to find this place."

"Privacy is key for us," a voice rang out from a bit away. Lily's eyes averted towards the sound and she spotted Captain America. The Captain America. Steve Rogers. Every girl’s dream man. He was even more gorgeous in person, and Lily couldn't help but feel choked up as she looked at him. The way his chest looked as though it was going to burst through the fabric of his shirt, or how she could see his sky blue eyes from eight meters away, "Glad you guys could make it. Picked a perfect day, everyone’s around."

"Why don't I take Hunter down through the compound so he can get the full tour," Sam grinned down at the beaming boy, "Will you be joining us, Ms. Osborne?"

Oh no. If she went, her mind wouldn't be able to handle it. The idea of walking around with her son in a place like this was already overwhelming. Feeling as though she should be able to do more to give him the luxury life he so badly deserved. Making him feel as though he was the king of the world. Not to mention, the entire place itself was a lot to take in. And with her anxiety already running high today, it would be better for Lily's mind and heart to wait out in the car or something. Plus, Hunter was with the Falcon, she had no worries.

"It's okay, you two go have fun, I'll wait in the car," Lily said, a tight smile pulling at the sides of her lips as she ran a thumb across her son’s chin, nodding for him to follow the superhero. And as if he was in a trance, Hunter followed Sam like a zombie, or may a dog following a treat. Either would work in this scenario.

"Oh no don't go wait in your car, come sit with us. I'm sure Bucky wouldn't mind seeing you again after your run-in yesterday," Steve smiled, making Lily's knees feel like they had miraculously turned into jello, "He's making blueberry pancakes for a part of the team."

Lily's mouth ran dry. Blueberry pancakes. Just like the ones she had gotten the day prior. The ones he had asked her about. Her cheeks grew hot as a magenta colour blush forced itself onto them, giving away the embarrassment and intrigue she had. It couldn't have been anything. He was just making blueberry pancakes. That's normal. It was an average thing for people to do. Especially when you've got nothing else to do. right?

"He knew you may have been coming, that's why he made them." Steve whispered as he offered his arm for Lily, beginning to lead her towards the kitchen.

So he did make them on purpose.

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afterthelastreset · 3 years

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Rules Of One’s Soul Ch 7 Realizing Feelings P3

(Mak belongs to @coffincrawler )

He felt strangely numb for the rest of the day. It didn't matter how much he tried to strain a smile or look happy for Lancer's sake, he just felt....numb. Well, maybe numb wasn't the right word. He felt more like he hadn't slept in a whole year....Maybe part of that statement was true, he couldn't really remember the last time he got a good night's sleep since....Yeah. Better not dig up any old memories right now. Better focus on Jevil giving who was him a worried glance every so often. Honestly, he didn't know what the Jester used to do before he was locked up or what he would do now that he was rehired and pardoned by Lancer, but he was pretty sure hovering behind them and following the duo around the castle was taking care of royal business was not it. Rouxls was starting to become really uncomfortable with all the stares they were getting from everyone else around them, most were terrorfied with shock or confusion at seeing the crazy joker floating behind the Duke and King Lancer. Even the other kings were wary, except King Heart. He had too much of an open heart it seemed. It made him even more tired from the amount of emotions that waved through his mind, which he really shouldn't be focusing right now.Right now was the time to focus on doing as much as possible to prepare Lancer for the ten days of his absence. He's barely be able to clean up his room, let alone run an entire kingdom by himself.

But he still couldn't help but have that small voice in the back of his mind say it wouldn't be so bad. He would use some space and a nice vacation was overdue.....But he made a promise to her and himself to take care of Lancer. No matter what. Did he really trust this jester just a few days after he was sent loose? Yes, answered a silent voice ringing from the back. Not much, echoed another. He groaned again and tried to shake those feelings off. Right now he needed to focus. Focus!

He had to shake his head and refocus his skattered mind into the conversation at hand-

"- s-so anyways, to help lift our subjects spirits in this new era of reconstruction I'd thought we should open the castle more to our loving subjects," the King of Hearts brought a tentacle arm to rub at the back of his neck sheepishly.

Oh...right. Did he miss that much of the conversation? He straightened his back up and tried once again to focus his attention into this conversation, or at least what attention he had left. Lancer was sitting at the table next to him looking a mixture of bored and confused to what the adult kings were going on about, while Jevil was being awfully quiet just hovering above near the ceiling, he would've chuckled if he wasn't already trying to pay attention to something else at the moment.

"Don't you think that'll cost a whole lot?"

"There he goes again with the 'I don't like spending attitude'."

Oh, please. He really didn't want to deal with another fight between the Clubs and Rudinn right now. The two could go on for hours on end if no one stopped them. But someone must've heard his silent prayers because that wasn't what had happened. Instead the Rudinn gave the multi-headed king a look and spat out-

"No! I mean it'll cost a lot to put together something for hundreds upon hundreds of subjects and we don't even have enough to cover even a third of that amount. And don't you forget we're still trying to piece together what's left of what Spade left behind?"

"Of course I didn't forget!," one of the heads barked back, "I'm just saying you usually worry about your money problem!''

"Oh, so now I have a money problem-!"

"Gentlemen, Please! Not in front of the child." The poor Heart looked exhausted already and the meeting's only been-....Actually he lost count of how much time had passed, but the other two kings at least respected the poor hathy's words enough to not fight right now at least. Thank goodness. "Thank you." He breathed out a sigh. "Now I know we can't invite all our subjects but we should at least encourage others to celebrate one of our oldest customs."

"I'm bored-"

Rouxls hushed Lancer before giving a nervous smile back at the other 3 kings. "Children. H-He's just a bit tired-"

"But it's boooooriiing." The small spade slapped his hands onto the table and stood onto his chair. "Let's make it more exciting!"

Rouxls groaned but King Heart chuckled at the child's action and asked, "Oh, Really? Well, why don't you tell us what you think would make this event less 'boring' to you?"

Lancer paused for a moment and gave that famous confused look with his tongue stuck between his front teeth before looking back up at him. "Um.....How about food!? Food's always good."

"What kind then?"

It was clear that by the smile on the giant hathy that he was enjoying asking the little child what he thought about this. It was kinda cute to watch in all honesty, but the little boy didn't see it that way as he beamed at the notion of being asked his own ideas.

"We need to...How did Susie say it was-..Make it POP! We need something fun like-...Like...Uh..."

Rouxls leaned next to him. "How doth fireworks sound?"

His face lit up immediately. "Yeah! Fireworks sound awesome! Oh, oh. And lots and lots of food and music! I can play splat noises from my ipod!"

"Young, Sire. I thinketh thine noises wouldn't be appropriate for a romantic evening for a mostly adult audience." Lancer gave a small pout which made the Duke roll his eyes. "We can invite thou's friends if you oh so wish."

''....But I don't know where Susie and Kris live....But Ralsei practically lives next door!"

"Well, since thou has made up his mind, we shouldst really focus on the topic of the dungeon conditions-"

"Now what a second," the Rudinn king leaned across the table and gave a look, "We still need to discuss the budget of this whole thing-" One of King Clubs's heads groaned while the others gave various looks from confusion to 'I'm so done', Making Diamond give a hiss back. "Not like that! I mean, our funds are limited towards rebuilding and our subjects as it is. How are we going to fund all this food and fireworks?"

"...We could make it a potluck charity ball?," the Heart meeakly suggested, "We could have everyone bring a dish and donate a miniture wage?"

"That's a brilliant idea!" "Hey! I would've thought of that too!" "You wish!" Honestly, can his heads ever agree on something?

"Now that is out of the way, doth I may request that we-"

"Can we have a chocolate fountain?!" Lancer's voice suddenly skyrocketed in new excitement. "And cake and...and ...and whatever that noodle dish is called?!"

The heart chuckled. "If someone brings it, sure."

Lancer gave a babble of delight before turning to Rouxls, "I gotta go tell the cooks! And have someone go tell Ralsei! This is gonna be the best mushy party ever! HO HO HO!! "

"What!? Lancer wait-" The small spade didn't give another thought as he jumped down from his chair and pushed past his legs. He once again tried to call out to the excited child to stop him but the small spade excitedly bounced his way out the door doing his tiny impression of a Santa Claus. The worm sighed and reached up a hand to rub his face. He really didn't have the energy to keep up with a child like this.

"Well, I guess this meeting is over." "Good! I want to see Clover! Right now!" "I'm pretty sure she's asleep by now?"

The other three kings mumble among themselves and stood up from the large table. Looks like he wasn't going to get to actually talk about security today.

"Tired, tired you look." He didn't look up from his hand as Jevil casually floated next to him, giving him a questioning look. "Why not, not just turn in?"

"I'm still angry at thou's antics," he slowly turned from his hand to give the imp a tired disgruntled look, raising a brow, "And I will do no such thing until mine king sleeps, and he's nay asleep or tired."

Jevil hummed and nodded in agreement with his statement. "Understandable, understandable-...But he's a king now, he can handle a little nap time." This made Rouxls raise his brow higher as if to say, 'Art thou serious?' and Jevil giggled at the reaction. "I'm more than capable of putting, putting the younge child to bed and spinning a tale good enough to impress, impress the sandman himself.~"

"Thou? Put Lancer to sleep? Bah!" The tired worm stood up on tired legs, giving the gremlin a frown. "I shan't heareth it! Mine boy is-"

"Growing up, up and needs to learn how to be king without the interference of a mother hen." He tutted and shook his head at the worm's constant worrying again, "I do hope you do not act, act like that when our children are brought into our world.~ It'd be a bad influence on the poor child.~"

The worm's face went from a comical expression of confused, to utter shock, to a deep purple. He seemed to go blank for a moment and just gave out a few angry sputters at the jester's innocent smile before he just turned around dramatically-...Which did nothing but set off another series of giggles, and in a moment worthy of his title, the Duke gave off a flustered growl and stomped his way out of the room..Too bad the laughing imp followed right behind him, telling him "R-Rouxls, Rouxls. D-Don't do that. Just think about all the cute little memories, memories we'd make."

"N-NAY! I don't need this! I-I shan't hear of it!" He sped up his long strides towards where he suspected Lancer had bounced off too, too bad Jevil was able to keep up easily. "L-Leave me you...you ghastly worm! I'm too tired to dealest with this."

"Rouxls. I'm sorry, sorry. But please let me see your blueberry face.~"

"Nay!"

A couple others had stopped and took a look at the strange duo walking past, giving them strange looks. Honestly looked more like an old married couple than a royal Duke being trailed by a Jester. And to be honest Rouxls didn't like what must have been going through their heads at this point, seeing the crazed jester float around him giggling and following like a lost love struck puppy and how blue his face must've been at the moment didn't help his cause either. A force sudden made itself known on his head and two arms snaked their way around his neck. A purr sounded out as something snuggled into the shiny hair on his head, he ended up freezing and turned his eyes upwards towards the imp nuzzling into him. Jevil sighed and purred out some mumbled about him being 'cool and soft to the touch.' His normally cool face heated up a purple hue and he let out a small squeak. Jevil giggled hearing that and laid his head flat against the top of Rouxls's head. What followed was another weird noise from Rouxls before the worm man waved his arms up and above his head in a sort of flailing like motion startling the jester and whoever was left watching. The worm whirled around and gave the startled jester a flustered look, Jevil gave a startled look back and blinked.

"...T-Thou needst t-to calmeth thineself down."

"Oh....Why? Do you not like, like physical affection?"

"I...I..." His eyes went around to the few surrounding watchers and gulped. "N-N-Nay in public."

Jevil continued to stare at the flustered worm before a realization came over him. "Oh, I see. Bwahaha. Keep things, things professional at work. I understamd, understand perfectly." He let off another purr before giving those same pink eyes from earlier this morning with the pink hearts. "More on the professional, professional when needed. Perfectly understandable. We have, have a whole ten days to make up for it.~"

The tone he used plus the wink he gave after sent a shiver up Rouxls spine plus a throb from his soul. He decided to cut losses and just turn and leave to go find Lancer. Not surprisingly Jevil wasn't too far behind. Like he suspected, he eventually found Lancer stuffing his face with leftover food in the kitchen, making a mess. The child looked tired though. Hopefully enough to go to bed. It took Rouxls a while to convince the spade stuffing his face that he should head to bed, but luckily Lancer was complient and agreed to his bedtime. Now all that was left to do was deal with the purple stalker he had on his tail. He just wanted to go back home and sleep already. He made it about halfway down the hall from Lancer's room before a clawed hand grabbed onto his shoulder and the smiling face of Jevil came into view.

"Let me take, take you back."

"N-No thank you....I'm more than capable of going home."

"In the rain?" He pointed his other hand towards the window near them where rain could still be seen pouring down. "You still look tired,tired. Allow me to help, help."

"N-No-"

"I know you're too exhausted, exhausted to work magic right now." Rouxls froze but eventually gave off a sigh to Jevil's happiness.

"Fine. B-But only once-"

No sooner had he said that than Jevil suddenly shot his hand out and grabbed his, making him flinch and look at the smiling purple face. Jevil gave off a series of giggles as his only warning before the room around them suddenly darkened and a compression feeling squeezed his chest. He clamped his eyes shut at sensation of the air being forced out of his lungs and his body being stretched out like some rubber toy, it was quite the uncomfortable feeling to be honest. Would not recommend traveling like this. His way of teleporting was a lot more peaceful, all it took was a few ideal moments of senseless non-motion and then some sparkling light. Not this compressed madness. None the less, it all ended almost as soon as it began when he suddenly was slapped back down onto his feet. His body stumbled and nearly fell over but Jevil still had a hold of his hand and quickly pulled Rouxls back up into a standing coughing fit of a man. His vision swirled and his lungs felt like they were underwater as he sputtered and forced himself to gulp down oxygen into his poor body. Jevil patted his back and continued to sorta encourage Rouxls, strange but appreciated. When he was finally able to blink past the blurred scenes, he was able to make out a table of some kind he was leaning against. Dust covered the top and when he slowly removed his hand it left a print...Oh. That'll explain the excess couching and fire burning in his lungs. Jevil's teleportation must've made some of the dust fly into the air when they popped in.

"I don't suppose you two are done for the day?", a soft voice called out a little ways from them. Their sudden pop in had startled the cat, but he quickly calmed down once he recognized the two. Rouxls's looked over at the cat sitting on the bed, a book in his paws. The worm rose a brow and gave Seam a look.

"W-Was...Was thou sitting here reading all day?"

Seam chuckled before closing the book and setting it on the bed before standing up. "Only since you all left me stranded here seven hours ago. I'm afraid I'm not too fond of going home in the rain. But I do enjoy the peace and quiet of reading while listening to the rain outside." He gestured to the store window and the water running down it.

Rouxls gave a groan and straightened himself up. "Well thou can now leaveth with thine gremlin over here-" he nodded towards Jevil '' -without the worries of getting rained upon."

"Oh, come now. Come now." Jevil's face popped back up to his side vision. "It's your time to relax-"

"Which would be when I'm sleeping without disturbance from thou."

".....Oh. Right. You do need, need to recover from no-sleepitis.~"

Seam rose an eyebrow and gave Jevil a curious look. "No-sleepitis?...Aha..Hahaha. I'm pretty sure that's called insomnia Jevil."

The imp shrugged and giggled a bit more. "All it took was just a little, little child encouragement and common sense to the rules.~"

Rouxls gave a grunt and pushed Jevil's face away from his own. "I think thou shouldst leave now, it's getting rather late as it is."

"Aw. No fun, no fun.~"

"Come on now, Jevil. We should respect the Duke's sleeping condition."

Surprisingly Jevil listened to the old cat and floated over towards him, but not before giving the worm another purr and wink. Rouxls scrunched his face up but his face flushed a blue again. He really wished it would stop that. Seam held out his paw to the floating Jevil who took it without question, Seam took one last look back at Rouxls and gave a small wave before his shape was suddenly whipped. Literally. His form whipped back along with Jevil and in an instant, the two weirdos vanished without sound. Rouxls stood there blinking for the next couple seconds at where the two used to stand, before shaking his head and turning his back towards the area where they were. He just needed to lay down and have a small moment to himself for a while....And try to sort out all these thoughts and emotions zig zagging over one another in his head.

Seam on the other hand was quite adiment on giving the poor duke some alone time away from Jevil's constant affection. The poor guy looked tired enough, though Seam wasn't quite sure what Jevil meant by 'common sense of rules' or 'child encouragement'. The teleportation to his own Sheap was a matter of seconds away, and while Rouxls obviously wasn't used to the sudden teleporting Seam after years of Jevil using the spell, he was quite used to the effects so all he ended up with was a small stumble upon landing. He turned to the small jester after a few moments of regaining himself and opened his mouth to ask about what happened, when the fool suddenly doubled over giggling and hugging his sides.

"Well...You seem happy. Care to include an old friend on what you mean?"

"Seam, Seam! My opportunity, opportunity has sprung! My soul, soul beats hard for my heart's desire, desire!" He giggled more which in turn caused the cat to tilt in held in question. "You see,you see! My desire has told me he shares the same emotions my soul, soul has for him, him! It's absolute chaos, chaos!" The imp fell back in a flourish of squeals and giggles that Seam couldn't help but smile at.

"Really now? Well, it sounds like you too have made a real connection. But you should keep it down before you wake Mak. It takes forever to get a child to sleep."

"Hahaha. Agreed, Agreed."

Seam smiled before walking his way over to the couch. "Now...I don't suppose you mind filling me in on what happened while you were away do you?"

Jevil smiled in glee. "Seam, Seam. I have a tale, tale to spin to you."

#Seaxls #rouxls kaard x seam #Seam #seam x jevil #jevil x seam #jevil x rouxls #Nosuit #rouxvil #rouxlvil #Rouxls Kaard #jevil #deltarune

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neriad13 · 3 years

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Favorite Media of 2020!

There was a large swathe of this year during which I was unable to concentrate on reading (as there probably was for a lot of other typically-frequent readers), so, as a result, I ended up listening to way more podcasts and watching way more TV shows. Not a bad thing, but boy did I read way less books than usual.

However, for the first time in a while, the amount of fiction I read was about equal with the amount of nonfiction I read. Last year’s reading resolution was to read more fiction, so...success??

I did read a lot of phenomenal fiction when I had the energy to do so this year.

Books - Fiction

The Martian - Andy Weir

This book is the hardest of the hard sci fi I think I’ve ever read. Every single aspect of it is minutely researched and calculated. The author literally wrote equations to write this book. The science is insanely impressive and yet...it never loses its sense of humor or humanity in the mix. In fact, they’re the thing that drives the entire story.

Warlock Holmes - G. S. Denning

Way early in the year I was strolling down the fantasy aisle at the library, when this cover caught my eye. I took one look at it, went “oh, this looks silly” and...proceeded to devour the entire series in a matter of weeks.

It is very silly. Especially when it’s pointing out something that was silly in the original. There’s something so satisfying about Watson immediately answering Holmes with the correct number of steps in their flat when he’s trying to make his point about how most people don’t pay attention to things like that.

World War Z - Max Brooks

Every single scenario in here could easily support an entire book. A park ranger whose job it is to contain the yearly zombie spring thaw? HECK YES. I’d read tens of thousands of words about that. A Chinese admiral who defaults, steals the government’s premier submarine, loads it up with the families of his underlings and takes to the sea for years to live in the maritime economy that has sprung up in a world where everyone is trying to escape the shore? That could be an entire movie on its own.

Every chapter was more creative than the last and as a huge worldbuilding fan, this book was so, so fun.

An Unkindness of Ghosts - Rivers Solomon

In which a queer, neurodivergent protagonist solves a mystery on a spaceship which is a microcosm of antebellum era politics! This had a beautiful, mysterious, wonder-inducing writing style and it was a joy to peer into the wildly differing minds of every single character.

Books - Nonfiction

Underland - Robert MacFarlane

In every chapter, the author visits a different hole. Basically.

It’s an exploration of caves, catacombs, mines, nuclear waste facilities and the hidden underbelly of every forest. It was fascinating. And fundamentally changed how I look at time.

Rejected Princesses - Jason Porath

After years of having enjoyed the web entries, I finally got my hands on the first book and was not disappointed.

There are the more entertaining entries, of course and the art is as charming as always, but what struck me the most were the more difficult stories. The deeper you go into this book, the more horrific it gets. The author does not hold back on the indignities suffered by the historical figures he writes about. It’s terrible...but also very, very illuminating.

The Gift of Fear - Gavin De Becker

This book - while maintaining all the essential information in it - could be pared down to one sentence in a sea of blank pages and that sentence would be: trust your instincts. End of story.

But in a world where instincts are either customarily suppressed or going haywire, it’s not quite that easy, which is why I’m glad there is more to the book.

I picked it up thinking “ha ha, betcha can’t help a person with anxiety who fears all the time already” and...what it actually ended up doing was giving me the tools to differentiate between real fear and unfounded fear. And did help with the anxiety quite a bit.

Fanfiction

Watch Over Me - cakeisatruth

A Bioshock fic from the point of view of a little sister who is learning how to trust and be an ordinary child again. Dark and sweet. An excellent combo.

All That is Visible - Ultima_Thule

An exploration of a minor character in a well researched historical context? That’s my jam! How did they know?? A Tron fic about what it’s like to be a female programmer in the 70s.

Graphic Novels

The Adventure Zone - McElroys + Carey Pietsch

Yesssssssss! It was a running-to-the-library type event whenever my library got a new volume in. The jokes are so good, the art is so lively and the ways in which they added the details that the podcast couldn’t necessarily get across is *mwah*

Trail of Blood - Shuuzou Oshimi

Hoooooooly shit, the art style of this one!! It’s beautifully detailed and expressive, sure, but the real draw for me was how it changes with the emotional state of the main character. There’s this sequence in which he’s consumed with anxiety at school and all of his classmates become blurry and unfocused, until they can’t be recognized as humans at all, that particularly sticks with me.

It’s a horror story about a kid who witnesses his loving mother push his cousin off a cliff for seemingly no reason and is then obligated by her to keep the secret, which is eating him from the inside out. It’s so good, guys, please read it.

Level Up - Gene Lien Yang/Thien Pham

A story about a kid who is haunted by his late father’s desire for him to become a gastroenterologist. It’s funny and touching and the ending gave me what I can only describe as a feeling of exhilaration. Y’know that feeling when something unexpected but not out of left field, perfectly in tune with the narrative arc and gut bustingly funny happens, all in the same panel? That one.

Film

Searching

This is a fairly standard thriller about a dad trying to find out what happened to his missing daughter. It’s also found footage...but not in the usual way, which was what made it so compelling to me. It’s told through the dad’s phone calls, google searches, social media interactions, news footage, security cameras and webcams. It was such a cool way to tell a story.

Train to Busan

There’s a lot that’s already been said about this movie and I don’t think there’s much more I can meaningfully add to that. Suffice to say that ya gotta take care of each other if you’re going to survive a zombie apocalypse!!

TV Series

My Brother’s Husband

As close to a perfect adaptation as a person can get (barring the entire conversation in English which was...oof). I was so happy when they took it a step further and showed Kana and Yaichi actually getting to meet Mike’s family.

Zumbo’s Just Desserts

I watched a lot of baking shows this year. Like...a lot. They were my much-needed comfort viewing for the year and this one was my favorite, even over The Great British Baking Show (which I LOVE). Why? Because the pastry chef for whom it’s named makes such bizarre and wonderful desserts and fosters an environment in which the competitors do the same. I’ve never seen anything like a lot of the desserts that make an appearance on this show. Every single episode was an awesome surprise and so help me, this show had better get a third season.

She-ra and the Princesses of Power

There’s also a lot that’s been said about this one, so I won’t say much more. Suffice to say: DAMN. That’s how you do an 80s toy tie-in cartoon remake.

Infinity Train

This show’s premise is probably the most unique I’ve seen in recent years. Its balance of comedy, horror and existential dread is also *mwah* I also love how much it trusts the viewer to figure things out on their own.

Primal

A late entry sliding in before the year ends! I finally got to watch the second half of the first season last weekend and it was EXCELLENT. The pacing, the brutal fight scenes, the adorable dinosaur antics, the animation, the quiet moments - *mwah-mwah-mwah-mwah-mwah*

The most emotional moment for me was the part in which the protagonists watch, with sorrow, as the rabid dinosaur who’s been trying to kill them all night dies an excruciating death.

Also it sets up a fascinating new plotline right before ending in a cliffhanger!! Another one for the ‘had better get a next season’ list.

Games

Night in the Woods

This is one that’s been on my to play list for a few years and I was so glad I finally got my hands on it. It’s like...The Millennial Experience (TM), the game. I felt so seen, playing it. The character writing was fantastic.

Prey

I don’t know why I put off finishing this for so long. I guess I wasn’t in the right alien killing headspace for a while?? Anyway, the setting is gorgeous, the alien biology is weird and cool, the ethics are delightfully murky and the interconnectedness of the station was really cool, especially in the OH SHIT moments at the end.

Podcasts

The Adventure Zone

I tried to narrow this down to one favorite arc, but found that I couldn’t do it. I love Balance for its comedy and creative energy. I love Amnesty for its drama and acting. I am loving Graduation for the depth of its world and the way in which the real story behind everything that’s happened is slowly unfurling. It’s a good podcast all around.

The Magnus Archives

Who obsessively listened to every single season while playing Minecraft in about a month? Surely not me, nooooo. Of course not.

There’s also been a lot said on this one, so I’ll keep it brief. I’ve seen things in here that I haven’t really seen elsewhere in horror. My particular favorites were the creepy psychiatric hospital in which the horror comes not from the patients, but from the denial of the doctor to believe them about their mental illnesses and every single thing related to the Anthropocene. The one with the Amazonian village made out of trash - CHILLS.

#tma #taz #prey 2017 #night in the woods #infinity train #warlock holmes #she-ra #zumbo's just desserts #a thought

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emisonme · 5 years

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Here I go again.......

I've had it with you fucking STRAIGHT crapmila shippers coming at me in my asks. You are NOT changing my mind. All you are doing is pissing me off. Those who follow me, know what happens, when I get pissed, so here we go.

I actually started writing this post, because of a funny moment in an interview. Then I watched another interview, and it got even funnier. I'll warn you now, this post is going to run the gamut, but don't worry, I'll finish it on a happy note.

I haven't really been keeping up with all of Camila's interviews lately, because like many of you, I'm tired of having to hear her promote all the bullshit, instead of HER music. It's ridiculous. I decided to give in and read a few and watch a few. It was worth it.

I watched the Capital FM, or whatever the fuck it's called, and it was a priceless moment. She went from happy to be there, to ready to throw herself off a fucking bridge in a matter of seconds.

Camila's whole demeanor changed, when they asked her about her "relationship" with Mawn Shendes. She gave her orchestrated response about how she "loves" him, and then the camera cut to the interviewer real quick. It's when the camera done another quick pan back to Camila, that the truth of all this shit, was really written all over her face. My mind went straight to her choking on her own lies, in the Liar music video. She can't even hide the truth. She is tired of all this shit.

Then I listened to the 15 minute Zane Lowe phone-in. That one had me rolling. Camila being Camila. If she can't tell us her whole truth, she tries to tell us little truths, as she tries to remember all the fake shit she's supposed to say.

Then, I read The Sun puff piece. Yeah, that was them dropping an elephant on her ass, for not being able to hide her disgust, and fumbling on some of her answers.

I tell ya, they are constantly trying to fix a mess, this era. Instead of concocting narratives and lies, why don't you just promote your Artist and HER damn music. For fucks sake, STOP promoting Shendes and this fake ass "relationship". Camila is about to lose her shit, over all this crap.

You know this shit is fake, when it's obvious she is sick and tired of talking about his ass. They started this shit show, with answers of wanting to keep it private and not talk publicly about it. That's the REAL Camila. Now, she is asked about it every fucking interview, and she is now having to actually answer it. She hates it, yet she HAS to. If she wasn't being contractually forced to answer this shit, she would simply do what she has always done, and not answer the damn questions.

Instead, she has a prepared stock answer ready for each interview. That's yet another way we can tell this shit is fake as fuck. One "I'm happy. I love him" is an aw moment. Two is a side eye moment. Three, is part of a fucking narrative.

He, after refusing to talk about their "relationship" before, is now finding a way to mention her name in every fucking meet & greet. He does this, even if he hasn't been asked about her, or their "relationship", at all. It's beyond absurd, at this point.

Let's get back to the Zane Lowe interview. If you haven't listened to it, you should. He asked her something along the lines of, how she handled her "break up" with the dickhead. Oh boy, did she stumble all over that one.

She did remember to say, she was devastated and upset about it. (Yay memory!) Then went on to say, it didn't really matter which one does the breaking up, it's still devastating either way, and lets you know just how much you really loved them. She then went on to say, she hasn't ever experienced the bad side of a break-up. She hasn't ever been the one broken up with.

That in itself tells us, she is the one who "dumped" the dickheads ass. (good riddance) The problem here is, you don't just dump someone you really love....especially if they really love you back. If two people really love each other, and they "make you the happiest you've ever been", there is no fucking reason to dump their ass......Unless someone else comes along, and offers you a better deal!!! Well, in this case, "a better deal" would be the equivalent of "fighting for the one you truly love"

Listen, if this fucking narrative happened, the way they want us to believe it did, then no one would have really loved anyone. If Camila really loved the dickhead, she wouldn't have dumped his ass, for Shendes. If Shendes really loved Camila, he wouldn't have even attempted to "steal" her away from someone who made her the "happiest she's ever been." That's the fucking tea!

That's why none of this shit makes any damn sense...at least not to most of us. If we were to believe this narrative, we would have to numb our brains enough to believe, Camila went from happier than she's ever been with one dickhead, to PUBLICLY sucking face with another dickhead, a few weeks later.

That's why all these damn dumbasses out there, are calling Camila a damn cheating slut. Because, if you believe this fucked up narrative, you would have to believe she is just a dick hopping fluzzy, that confuses like for love, and is a simple selfish bitch.

Some of you do believe that. Those of you who do, actually believe Shendes is a fucking saint. In reality, if you believe this fucking narrative, that means SHAWN MENDES IS A SELFISH NARCISSISTIC DICK, who "fought" for someone who was in a fucking relationship with someone else. That doesn't make him a nice guy. That would make him a fucking prick who thinks he's better than everyone else. That's the fucking tea!!

You fucking crapmila shippers like to say Camren shippers are "delusional" and "pathetic", for shipping such a "toxic" couple. You homophobic jackasses obviously don't know what toxic is, because crapmila would have Camren beat all to shit on the toxicity meter, IF YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE THIS BULLSHIT NARRATIVE!

*breath*...Back to the Zane Lowe interview. After she said she had never experienced the getting dumped side of a relationship, she then went on to say, and I quote, "I've never been in a real relation..." Oh shit! Oops gotta fix it. after a pause..."I've only been in two relationships."

That's your real tea, Ladies and gents. That's her little truth to keep her from choking on all the lies. That she has never been in a real relationship..." If she had not had an elephant dropped on her head, and been allowed to finish that statement, she would have said, she's never been in a real relationship...with a boy/man. (She's gay, IN MY OPINION)

You know there was someone in the room, waving their hands in the air like a mad man, ready to fly drones at her head. But, that's OK, @rogergold and @shoshonnastone put together a puff piece for The Sun, to fix the narrative.

Hmm! I wonder which two "relationships" she was being forced to remember? Was it Austin and Ew? Well, it couldn't have been Austin. That FAKE narrative was destroyed a long damn time ago. First by Austin himself, then by Camila.

For shits and giggles, Camila decided to put another nail in that shit PR. How? The official narrative was that Austin DUMPED HER after she went public with their "relationship". But, she just said, she hadn't experienced getting dumped before. Oops again!

It wasn't the boy-bander. He was nothing more than propaganda for more bullshit. It wasn't early Shendes, because every time he tried to "kiss" her, she turned him down...because he kept calling her "kid". (Corden interview 2015)

The only two it could be, is the dickhead, because he was her "first real relationship", and Mawn Shendes now. Oh, I almost forgot, Mawn has publicly stated, that he can't wait to get his heart broken, so he can write his first really good album. No problem! Camila's all set to help you with that, too.

She already saved your fucking career by giving you Ceñorita, doing another duet with you, that gave you your first number 1 hit, agreeing to do a damn PR relationship with you, taking your crappy selling third album and making it Platinum, and followed your ass around on your tour, to put more asses in the seats.

She did all that for you SHAWN MENDES. All she had to do, was fuck up her own image to do it. That's a REAL FRIEND for you. How are you going to return the favor Shawn? I know, you'll probably wait for Taylor to fix it for you. Typical male behavior. Get great women to fix all your fucking problems!!!

Whatever. It's all bullshit. In my opinion, there is only one truth in all this bullshit. That truth, Camila hasn't been in a "real relationship" with Austin, Michael, Shawn, the Dickhead, or any other man/boy.

She has only been in ONE REAL RELATIONSHIP. It has been a rocky roller-coaster ride of emotions. It has gone through it's ups and downs. It's good times and bad. They have had their fights and break-ups, true love and make-ups. That's what true love is. For Camila, that's what true love is...with a woman. Not just any woman, but the woman...Lern Jergi!!!!!! !! !!!!

From first meeting at 15, to today at 22/23. From "dang she can sing" to "dang it, she's pretty, too", to "I like your shirt". From instant friendship, to immediate crushing...to "mine's Lauren". From "beautiful eyes", to longing stares. From covert booty grabs, to admiring each others butts in front of the world. From intertwined hands, to simply trying to touch each other without the cameras noticing. From skinny dipping in Puerto Rico, to Valentine's Day on an Aussie beach. From matching rings, to sharing clothes.

They were there for each other. They defended each other. They would trade brains with each other. Before they even knew how important they were going to be to each other, something in them knew, and something in them will always know.

From strangers to friends. From friendship to true love. That's Lauren and Camila. That's Camren. That can never be erased by a fake made up false narrative.

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queenlists · 4 years

Text

Way back home.

A/N: This is a fluffy story involving Dean and the reader. I hope you all enjoy this! Thank you all for your support ✌

Post date: 12/08/2019

“We met at a convenience store when we were just little kids.”

-------------

“You know, if you get caught you’re going to go to prison?” I sighed, looking at the young boy who had to be my age shoving chips down his pants’ pockets. “You know, if you don’t shut up you’re going to get beat up?” the young boy hissed, walking away from me towards the drinks. Biting the inside of my cheek, I followed behind him to watch. The boy shoved drinks into a backpack, looking around cautiously until his eyes fell on me. He groaned, rolling his eyes “Look, I’m not trying to be rude, but can you go?” “Why are you stealing?” I stepped closer. “Why are you so nosy?” the young boy rolled his eyes, smoothing out his pockets. I shrugged, watching the young boy try to conceal the stolen goods “Just curious. I also have money, so if you give up the information then I can give this to you.” I pulled out a twenty-dollar bill that I had just gotten that day, waving it in front of the young boy with a big smirk on my face. “Why do you want to know so bad?” “Maybe I could be the Bonnie to your Clyde?” I giggled while flashing the young boy the contents of my purse: snacks that would never get paid for. The boy smiled, looking down “My name’s Dean. I’m just trying to get some food for my little brother and I. Our dad is out on a job.” “Let me guess, he left you in that creepy motel right across the street?” The young boy cocked an eyebrow at me “How’d you know?” “My parents do the same. Often.” I cleared the sob from my throat, shoving the twenty in his hand. “If you’re gonna steal, do it right.” I continued, smoothing out his pockets. I backed away, giving Dean a small smile before grabbing a chocolate bar to pay for at the cash register.

My parents warned me to stay indoors at all times unless I was extremely low on food and drinks because I was a young girl in a sketchy town, but after meeting Dean I became restless. I couldn’t even finish my frozen dinner because Dean was on my mind. A kid living a life similar to mine was a rare find for me. I would peek through the curtains in hopes of catching sight of Dean, but that didn’t happen. It didn’t happen for weeks. Eventually, I just gave up. He was probably long gone by now.

I skipped down the street, humming to myself. I heard footsteps behind me, but I didn’t bother to pay them any attention. It wasn’t until the footsteps began to increase their pace that I felt alarmed. My heart thumping out of my chest, I began to run. “Hey! It’s just me.” I quickly stopped when I heard that familiar voice. A big smile spread across my face as I spun around to see Dean. “I never caught your name.” Dean rubbed the back of his neck, as his cheeks turned a bright shade of pink. “(Y/n),” I looked away from Dean as I felt my own cheeks start to heat up. “We should go out for ice cream sometime. I saved that money for whenever I saw you again. You, Sammy, and I could all go out together.” “That sounds fun. Let’s go now!” I suggested, holding my hand out to Dean. Dean stared at my hand as if this gesture was foreign to him before taking my hand in his, leading me back to his place to get Sam.

We ended up spending every day together to the point where I decided to move all of my stuff to theirs. There were only two beds, so Dean would sleep with Sam while I got the other bed to myself. We all got along well. My parents sent me enough money to sustain all three of us. Everything was as perfect as things could be for kids in adult situations until the reality of how short our time was together showed up.

“Boys, get packed. We gotta go to the next town.” I listened carefully, not moving. The room was dark as I watched the strange figure navigate his way through the messy room, soon finding the light to turn it on “Boys!” the man’s voice boomed throughout the room causing me to wince. The man quickly looked at me as I quickly hid under the covers. “Who is this?” I heard the man’s footsteps come closer and closer until he was right there. “Dad, she’s a friend.” Dean yawned. I heard the bed he was in creak as he came to me, pulling the covers off of me. “Her name is (Y/n). She bought me snacks, dad!” Sam beamed, crawling out of bed to run to his father for a hug. “Where are your parents, sweetheart?” The man held Sam as he smiled at me gently. “I have no clue,” I whimpered. I knew that him being back meant Dean and Sam were going to leave me here all alone forever. “Can she come with us?” Dean grabbed onto my hand as tears welled up in my eyes, bracing for the harsh answer we both knew was bound to be said. “She has parents. I can’t. We have to go.” Dean and Sam’s father hung his head as he grabbed up their bags, tugging the protesting boys out of the room. Dean looked at me one last time, tears falling down his face as he was pushed out of sight. “(Y/n), if you ever need us. Give us a call.” The man scribbled out a number on an old, crinkly receipt before slamming the door shut behind him. I listened to the three pairs of footsteps stomping down the halls. I listened until I couldn’t hear them anymore. Soon, I heard a roar of a car. I ran out of bed to look at them go. I saw the old car back away and speed off into the distance. I watched it until I couldn’t make out their car anymore. My heart breaking with every second that passed. If I didn’t know what true sadness felt like, I did then.

I crawled into the bed that Dean and Sam were sleeping in. The bed was still warm from their bodies. Pulling the blanket up over my head, suffocating myself in their scent. I sobbed, holding onto Dean’s pillow taking in his scent. The time we spent together would forever be with me.

------

“We met again in high school.”

-----

“Dean Winchester?” The teacher scanned the room, looking for said Dean. “Right here, toots!” I rolled my eyes at the cocky comment, turning my head to catch sight of this guy. Our eyes immediately connected as we both cocked an eyebrow at each other. He looked oddly familiar. “(Y/n) (Y/l/n)?” I heard the teacher call my name as Dean’s jaw dropped. At that moment, it was confirmed. Cocky Dean was, in fact, my Dean. The young boy who I thought about almost constantly even years later. The Dean I thought I would never see again. I smiled at him, clearing the sob that was forming in my throat “Here, toots!” I called out to the teacher, Dean and I both laughing aloud at my response. I immediately grabbed my stuff to sit by him. “I thought I’d never see you again,” Dean smiled at me. I bit my lip, sighing “Same.” I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him and neither could he keep his off of me. I guess he must have missed me almost as much as I missed him.

After class, we decided to skip the rest of the day together to catch up with one another. As we walked to Dean’s car, the memories rushed back to me “The impala? You have that old impala?” “Hey now! Baby is not old. Don’t listen to her.” Dean scoffed, rubbing the hood of the car gently. “I watched you guys drive away that night you left and this is the car,” I frowned at the thought of that day. “I know. I stared back at you the whole time,” Dean sighed, biting his lip. My lip began to quiver as I pulled Dean into a tight hug, he didn’t hesitate to hold me close. I took a deep breath to breathe him in. I buried my face into his worn-in leather jacket, sighing in bliss “I missed you, Dean.” “I missed you too, (Y/n).”

We picked up where we left off, but something was different. Something wasn’t as innocent between us as it was when we were kids. We both knew something was different. “Dean, I really like you. Like I want us to be more than friends,” I bit my lip as I stared into his eyes. Dean was obviously at a loss for words, but decided to respond in nonverbal way, a better way. Dean pulled me into a gentle kiss, our lips were just pressed against each others. My eyes closed shut as I let myself melt into this beautiful kiss. After a little bit, Dean slowly pulled away from the kiss “I just don’t want things to mess up between us. You’re a good friend,” Dean kissed my forehead as I nodded. My heart sank to my stomach like a heavy anchor, but I refused to show that. I refused to show Dean just how vulnerable he had me. How open I was to him. How desperate I was for him to stay with me forever. “Yeah, no. You’re totally right. We’re great as friends,” I quickly got out of the car, slamming the door shut with tears falling down my face. Not knowing that would be the end of this era, I didn’t bother to turn back to look at him. I thought I’d see him again the next day, but he never showed up again at school. His motel room was vacant. Baby was never seen again in this small closed off town. “Again, Dean. Again?” I yelled as I pounded my fists against his old motel room’s door. I didn’t stop until the manager said something. My heart was broken all over again. He was just in my grasp last night! He couldn’t have called to say goodbye?

---------

“I was angry. I was lost. I was hurt beyond words when he left again for a second time, but this time without a word about it. My wonder for the Winchester was soon over, when we met again as adults.”

-------

Lonely and on my third failed date of the week, I found myself at the bar a little too long. Lingering for another round of alcohol to fill the void in my heart. Shot after shot after shot, I downed every one of those and asked for more each time. I knew it was becoming too much, but feeling my true emotions wasn’t an option for me. Not right now at least. “Another, please,” I hiccupped, pushing my glass over to the sympathetic bartender who witnessed all three of said failed dates. “No, I think she’s had quite enough,” I rolled my eyes at the stranger’s comment. “What’s your issue?” I turned over to the stranger. He was tall with beautiful long brown hair. “You’ve had enough, (Y/n). Come with me,” the handsome stranger held his hand out for me. I stared at his outstretched hand “Who are you?” “Sam. Dean’s little brother,” I felt myself quickly sober up as I looked Sam up and down in amazement “Oh my gosh, Sammy!” I squealed, jumping up to hug him. He chuckled, hugging me back. “You got so tall! I missed you.” “I missed you too.”

Sam took me back to his place where I was able to meet his fiancee, Jessica. We all got along great to the point where Jess asked me to be one of her bridesmaids, which I gladly accepted. Every week leading up to the wedding, we all would go out for a nice dinner together. It was Sam’s way of keeping an eye on me and keeping me out of any and all bars. I was nothing, but happy for the soon to be married couple. The only thing that seemed to dim the moment for me was knowing Dean was most likely going to be at the wedding as well and I was not ready to face him.

After months of preparation, the wedding day finally arrived. Faster than what I had expected as I had forgotten to turn my alarm on the night before. I was speeding through my hotel room as I quickly got myself together. Running out of the hotel room, I ran faster than I ever did to catch that elevator “Hey, can you hold that open?” I yelled across the hall to the person inside of the elevator as I ran. A hand waved in front of the doors, preventing it from shutting. Out of breath, I made it in the elevator “Thank you so much! I’m so going to be late to this wedding. The bride’s going to murder me” I laughed out, putting on my shoes. “Same.” My smile dropped as the voice echoed in my ears. I turned to face no one other than Dean himself. I cleared my throat and continued to get myself looking semi decent. “Come on, you can’t just ignore me. I left years ago! Decades ago. Sam was still a child.” “You left the night I told you how I felt about you without a word about it. Don’t you realize how much that hurt me?” I yelled at Dean as tears fell down my face. Dean went to wipe my tears away, but I pushed him away. “(Y/n), please. It was complicated. I was stupid. I couldn’t handle that!” “You kissed me! How could you say you wanted to only be friends after YOU kissed ME?” I balled up my fists and punched him in the arm “You hurt me! You ruined me!” “How, (Y/n)? How? You haven’t gotten over me? You’re telling me you never got over that?” “I haven’t.” I admitted, staring at the metallic doors with tears messing up the little eye makeup I managed to slip on. I wiped the black streaks off of my face only making a bigger mess. Dean took out his white handkerchief, licking it, and wiping away the mess on my face “You don’t need this crap on your face anyway. You look beautiful as ever.” I couldn’t help but smile at him like an idiot. Dean’s cheeks went a bright red as he pulled me close to him, lifting my chin up with a hooked finger, and softly kissing me. I hesitated at first but quickly gave in. Just like I’d give into him any other time. All for him. Only for him. The elevator doors opened up, but neither of us pulled away from the kiss. This kiss was the seal of fate. This kiss was the start of our forever.

--------

“I moved out of my crappy apartment into a house with him. We were making a mess out of this new life together, spending more money than we had and skipping out on bills to go out for drinks, but we were happy. Happier than ever. We ended up getting engaged during Sam and Jessica’s wedding weekend, but it was privately done in a hotel room after our first time together. Out of respect, I didn’t put on the cheap metal until a month later. Sam and Jessica were amused when we told them. All in a matter of six months, we were moved in together, engaged, and expecting our first child together. Everyone was happy.’

---------

Was..happy.

Was happy until Dean didn’t come home one night. Until Sam told us just what their father John was doing in those months he was away from them. The monsters that lurked our world. The monsters that walked by us. Dean had gone on a quick job, but just never returned. Sam had Jessica and I stay with each other, so he could search for his brother. Months went by and nothing. Dean was gone and so was Sam. Jessica and I resorted to sleeping in the same room together to keep one another company and to dry each other’s eyes as we missed the boys and worried ourselves sick.

Then it happened, Sam came home with Dean. Sam’s eyes swollen and red as he carried Dean in his arms. My Dean dead in Sam’s arms. We gave him the proper hunter’s burial. I couldn’t breathe through my sobs, so Jess ended up taking me back home to comfort me away from the scene. My life was ruined. I can’t do this without him.

That night was the night I felt our baby move for the first time. That night was the night I found the strength to push through. This baby was Dean’s and I owed it to him to raise our baby up the way he would have wanted.

Strong, loved, and AWAY from the family business.

--------

“Dad wasn’t found, but I pushed those memories out of my head. I had a baby on the way, a handsome baby on the way. I had to be strong for you.” I smiled at my smiling baby boy. He resembled his father so much. From his looks to his love for cars and chicks. “Do you think dad’s ever going to come home?” I inhaled sharply as tears pricked at my eyes “Yes, your dad always finds his way back home.”

#dean x y/n #dean x you #dean x reader #dean winchester #supernatural imagine #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural reader insert #supernatural x reader #supernatural #spn #spn x y/n #spn x reader #spn x you #spn fic #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester spn

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xxisxxisxxis · 4 years

Text

Gateway Drug | Part Thirty-Five

Table of Content or Part Thirty-Four

View chapter on wattpad here

Word Count: 4k

A/N: Happy birthday to Nikki Sixx who is aging like wine. I'm so proud of how far he has come and here's to another 61 years and an eternity more🖤

Warning(s): Explicit language, Mentions of drug abuse, Abuse

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"Alright, assholes, shut up and listen for two minutes." Doc tells us in the airport we wait in line at customs. "We're gonna be here in Japan for a week. Japan is not like it is back home. You can't act like you don't have any sense. They will lock your asses up in a heart beat. Do you understand?" He warns Tommy, Nikki, Vince and Mick. "Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Daddy." Nikki sarcastically lets out, smacking his gum.

"Hey, wise ass, I don't need your comments, alright? I'm being serious, guys." Doc tells them.

"We got it, Doc. You don't have to worry about anything, bud." Tommy assures him, sincerely.

It was our first time in Japan and I've got to say, it's personally my favorite place ever.

The fans were extremely polite, and all of them had enthusiastic, wide smiles...my favorite part was that the girls actually respected the fact that Nikki's wife was with him, and didn't try to screw him in front of me like audacious rats in other places tried to.

They would just smile shyly and introduce themselves to us, and then get a picture with the guys.

If I had a dime for every time Fred has had to keep me from assaulting someone for grabbing Nikki's crotch in front of me, trying to shove their tongues down his throat, give them hotel room numbers to meet them in, etc. I would have been rich enough to afford Nikki's $3,500 a day on heroin.

Groupies were insane.

And I don't mean I saw these girls attempt this stuff from a distance.

I mean, I'd be standing right next to him, the girls would introduce themselves to me, then go on to grope Nikki before he could say a word about how it was nice to meet them.

In the midst of trying to get me on the ground before I could throw a punch, the girls would run off, and Nikki would always say "sorry, babe" and mean it.

He stopped apologizing when he stopped caring.

"...And we need blow." Tommy says to Sparkie, who's about to go on the hunt for a drug dealer in town for the guys, and I roll my eyes.

"Doc told you guys to behave because they don't tolerate bull crap here." I remind him and he and Sparkie look at me, and Nikki's grabbing at my waist and pulling me to sit on his leg before taking a swig of Jack, his striped outfit and bright, over the top makeup is the complete opposite of their Shout at the Devil era.

"What Doc doesn't know won't hurt him, Viv." Tommy says it like it's common sense. "Hey, Vinny, what do you want from a dealer?" Tommy asks him, a sharpness to his voice, and Nikki laughs.

I don't find their bullshit funny.

Vince just rolls his eyes and drinks his water with no reply.

Vince was on court mandated sobriety. And was being tortured by Nikki and even Tommy. They would offer him things they knew he couldn't have and then would play it off like they forgot.

They would have him pass them their drugs, pour them their drinks and count out how many pills they had left.

It ticked me off seeing Tommy go that fucking low all because he and Nikki were so close.

He even started being a little disrespectful to me whenever Nikki was.

Nikki's leg is shaking a little, despite him throwing back alcohol and I look over my shoulder at him.

"Are you okay?" I mouth so the others won't hear it, and Nikki nods, but I know he's full of it.

"On in five, guys, c'mon!" Doc calls out from the other side of the door and I pat Nikki's other leg and stand up, grabbing his hand and pulling him up.

We step out and head to the stage, and Nikki's turning to give me one last kiss before going on.

When he pulls away, my hands are quickly taking my crucifix off and reaching up to fasten it around his neck and it ironically overlaps with his pentagram necklace.

"For good luck." I explain and he gives me a little closed mouth smile and gives me a quick peck on the lips before following Tommy, Vince and Mick.

By the time they got off stage, Nikki was growing pale, and sweating, and not just because he was running around on stage.

Nikki had gone over 48 hours without heroin. Alcohol could keep his tremors to mere, barely noticeable shakes, but didn't do very much for his sweating and sickness.

The guys didn't know he was that deep into heroin, yet, so he didn't want to tell them it was making him that ill without it or they would realize he was further down the hole than they expected.

So, what did I do? I covered for him.

"He thinks he might have food poisoning." I explain to Tommy and Vince as they stand outside of mine and Nikki's room.

"Well, is he alright?" Tommy asks me.

"He'll be okay. He just doesn't feel like going out." I assure him.

"Alright, we gotta go." Vince nudges him.

"Tell him I hope he feels better." Tommy says.

"I will. You guys be careful."

"We will, goodnight."

"Goodnight." I reply and shut the door, hearing Nikki groaning in the bathroom.

The door's locked, and I sigh out in frustration.

"Nikki, open the door." I tell him calmly.

"Fuck off, Viv." He tells me for the hundredth time tonight.

"Open the door or I'm telling Doc." I threaten him, even though it's a complete lie.

"Tell him I want a divorce while you're at it." He snaps.

I don't say anything for a moment, and hear him sigh out, before he unlocks the door.

I step in, seeing him soaked in sweat, pale, the smell of vomit is potent and I try to keep a calm demeanor as he grips the side of the tub to help himself stand up.

He nearly falls, tremors spazzing through his body, but I'm quick to nestle under his arm and help him stay up.

"I just need some Jack." He tells me. "It'll help."

He doesn't sound like Nikki.

He sounds like a defeated child.

"Nikki, I don't think—"

"Okay, Viv, now isn't the time for your bullshit. Get me some Jack." He orders desperately, nearly pleading.

I get him on the bed, starting to tug his boots off, before pulling his shirt over his head, and unbuckling his belt.

"Never thought...I'd ever say this...but the last thing...on my mind right...now is...fucking around." He takes heavy breaths, squeezing his eyes closed and groaning when I get his pants off.

"Yes, because seeing my husband in so much pain really turns me on." I sarcastically let out.

"I'm cold." He tells me, his hand gripping mine.

I pull the bed covers over his naked body, glancing at my necklace he's still wearing.

"I'll get you some Jack." I say, stepping to the phone on the bedside table and ordering his necessity.

I turn back to face him once I'm done, and he's curled up and shivering, and he's kicked the blankets off of him.

"Nikki?" I ask, furrowing my brows.

"I'm hot." He cracks out, shot eyes looking at me, teeth chattering together despite his tight jaw and wet, black hair clings to his soaked skin that seems to be turning transparent.

That moment I realized I was married to a junkie, and Nikki realized he had become the very thing he had been in denial of becoming.

Neither of us said a word to one another about our revelations.

The alcohol and pills they managed to score kept Nikki's roaring withdrawals at bay and allowed him to play his illness off as the flu throughout the rest of the Japan tour, and the second we got home, he was phoning every dealer he could get a hold of.

One I had never met before, Jason, was the first one to come to his aid and it didn't take me long to come to the conclusion I would inevitably have to kill that motherfucker to keep him away from my husband.

He just wanted our money, laying out an elaborate display of everything from cheap tar to clean China White, cocaine, and a pharmacy of prescription pills.

I always left to "go to the store" anytime Jason came over.

Once I was practically having a full on emotional affair, I would go find Duff but before any feelings for him emerged, I would just drive my car around the corner of the street going by the house, pull into the driveway of a half-way burnt down house, and cry.

My husband, my Nikki, was destroying himself from the inside out, and the more I tried to do help him get better, the worse he got.

Every time I prayed for him, his demons would hold tighter to his legs and keep him shackled in place with a needle and lies that weighed him down and made him feel the need to do the only thing that made him happy, even if only temporarily.

By the end of '87, I was exhausted. I had been screaming, crying, pleading, for years for someone to do something, for someone to threaten the band, threaten them individually, get them off the road, at least try to start a conversation addressing their obvious addictions...

But they were making everyone above them money. That's all that mattered.

I was screaming into a void, and nobody could hear me. Well, they could...they were just ignoring me which was even worse.

I don't know how the hell I managed to face the same thing with Duff and his band years later.

I step into the house once Jason is gone, seeing Nikki by the fireplace, laying on the carpet, and I go to lay beside him.

We've been back from Japan a few days, and they're suppose to be preparing for their U.S. tour starting in a couple weeks.

Nikki's been in heroin land ever since we have gotten home.

And I've been in my own personal hell, being that I just added a third picture to my dead baby drawer as of yesterday.

I would go to a doctor to see if there's something wrong with me to prompt not ever making it past week twelve, but Nikki would find out somehow, someway. I've already risked enough as it is by going to the obstetrician.

"Babe," I nudge him and he opens his eyes just enough to show his pinpointed pupils, and he hums a little. "I gotta go get Tansy from the airport."

"Mmkay." He mumbles, and I force myself not to cry, remembering how miserable he was in Japan, and now we've gotten back and he's back to square one.

Was it really square one if he never wanted to move to square two in the first place?

Tansy gets into my car, wearing what I'm assuming she wore when they taped her interview with David Letterman hours ago, while a security guard puts her stuff in the trunk.

"Well." I say, looking at her as she lays her head against the back of her seat and looks at me from behind her sunglasses. "How did the interview go?" I ask and she tugs off her heels.

"I don't know." She tells me and I furrow my brows. "The bits and pieces I remember were great." She sounds like she's about to cry.

"Were you...?" I trail off and she moves her fingers under the blacked out lenses and sniffles. "Babe, it's not anything to cry about."

I grab at her hand as she starts crying even more.

"I bombed it, Viv." She says with certainty.

"Tansy, if you don't even remember it, how do you know for sure you did a bad job?"

"You know how I act when I'm fucked up."

"I also know, by the grace of God, somehow, someway, you manage to differentiate between a setting you need to be more composed in, and a setting you can be wild in. Even when you are stoned out of your mind. I have seen you do it." I assure her. "It's really freaking creepy."

My comment has her chuckling a little and she wipes at her tears again.

"It will be okay. I am sure you did great. And if you didn't you can just do what I do when I'm not acting normal and blame it on Mötley Crüe."

None of us, not even Tansy herself, knew why or how she scored an interview with David Letterman, but we were all proud of her nonetheless, even if she couldn't remember much of it.

"Sparkie said Japan went good." Tansy says after we're driving for a couple minutes.

"Yeah."

"Thank you for letting him go. I know you aren't the biggest fan of him." She adds.

"I didn't let him go. The guys insisted he went because they needed someone to find them drugs." I state.

"Point is, he went. And he had fun. So thank you." She replies.

"I only tolerate him because I love you." I tell her.

"I know, and I—" she presses a quick kiss to the back of my hand. "—love you, too."

I rub my lips together and get an idea.

"Would you be up for a girl's night?" I ask.

"What do you have in mind?" She asks and I raise my brows.

In hindsight, it was probably a bad decision to introduce Tansy to Guns N' Roses while she was still addicted to drugs and alcohol, because all it did was create toxic friendships that thrived on the struggles of everyone involved.

Tansy was very easily influenced by other people, but I figured if she had survived that long being friends with Nikki, Tommy and Vince, she would be just fine around Duff, Axl, Izzy, Steven and Slash.

Tansy and I make our way through the crowd, hand in hand, lacing through people and eager groupies.

She's heard me talk about them every now and then but now she has the opportunity to see what the hype is about.

The Troubadour is packed out, and a sense of pride swells in my chest.

"They must be good." Tansy comments, glancing around.

Normally at least one person would have already asked for her autograph or a picture of her, but everyone is too distracted by the anticipation of the band that's been tearing up and down the strip ever since Nikki, Tommy, Vince and Mick set the bar so high.

They're not even onstage yet, before all lights in the place shut down, and Axl let's out one of his infamous screams that somehow mimics a melodic siren.

The crowd goes quiet for a split second before realizing it's him, then they start screaming, clapping, stomping their feet.

The lights come back on to reveal Axl, Duff, Izzy, Slash and Steven, picking up into the fast paced rhythm of "Anything Goes."

With teased hair, heavy glam-rock influenced outfits and makeup, mixed with their sound, it's safe to say there isn't one dry vagina around...including Tansy, who's eyes don't leave the singing red head for the rest of the night.

Back stage is crowded, but Tansy and I manage to be the first females in their dressing room by the time their set is completely finished.

She's already broken into their Jack and Vodka stash, guzzling from both bottles simultaneously, and I look at her like she's crazy because I know it's got to hurt her throat.

"What?" She asks me, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

"You are a crazy person." I state just as the door opens, revealing Slash and Steven first, girls under each arm.

"Hey, Viv!" Steven pipes, smiling widely and Slash looks confused for a moment before realizing the blur standing before him is indeed Vivian.

"Hey, Viv." He repeats what Steven said.

Steven does a double-take really quick, seeing Tansy, his hand patting at Slash as he stands, starstruck. It's a domino effect.

First Steven, second Slash, third Duff, then Izzy and lastly, Axl.

Except Steven, Slash, Duff and Axl are frozen because Tansy Lyn is standing before them. I'm sure Izzy appreciates her beauty and participation in Playboy for the last four years, but he's more worried about her breaking into their alcohol.

"Man, that's Tansy Lyn." Steven states.

"Drinking our booze." Izzy adds and Tansy guiltily puts it back where she got it, smiling.

"Hi." She says to them, and they immediately pretend they weren't just remembering what her naked body looks like.

Steven, as always, is the first to make himself known to a beautiful girl, extending his hand to her.

"I'm Steven." He tells her.

Slash is shyly hiding behind his curly hair the best he can as Steven puts an arm around him.

"This is Slash." He adds.

"The grubby fingered alcoholic is Izzy." I tell her as he lights a cigarette.

"Read this grubby finger, Viv." Izzy states blankly, flipping me off and I hold back a laugh.

"I'm Duff." Duff introduces himself next, and Tansy has to look up so high, her head is tipped completely back before shaking his hand.

Axl doesn't introduce himself, he just stands and stares at her for a moment, black sunglasses blocking our eyes from his.

"Axl." Is all he says before grabbing the bottle of Jack, grabbing one of the girls Steven and Slash walked in with, and leaving.

"He's not an asshole seventy-five percent of the time." I try to defend him against her as she looks like her feelings have been hurt slightly.

"But when he is an asshole, just avoid him for a few hours and stay out of his way." Duff scoffs out, grabbing the bottle of vodka.

They all knew that piece of advice too well.

Not entirely sure how we ended up back at mine and Nikki's house, but Nikki wasn't home, and probably wasn't going to be home until early morning, so Duff, Steven and Tansy were all in my house.

"If you break a mirror, you buy it!" I call out to Steven and Tansy as Duff and I have our legs dangling in the pool water, hearing something breaking inside the house through the open french doors that lead into the kitchen.

Duff blows smoke out of his nose, laughing at Tansy and Steven calling back, "We didn't!"

"Jesus." I mumble, grinning to myself and Duff joins in with me, laughing harder at me as "Get Down Tonight" starts blaring through the speakers in the house.

Tansy has officially met her match.

"I'm glad they get along." Duff says smoothly.

"They both like weed and the same music taste. Seems like a beautiful friendship to me." I shrug and he smiles.

There's a pause in the air, and he keeps looking at me.

"What?"

"There's dancing trophies in your house." He tells me and I raise my brows, remembering the day Nikki had demanded my hard earned proof of years dedicated to such a difficult art form, be put on display on a shelf right next to his awards for Gold and Platinum records.

"Yeah? I told you I use to be a dancer." I reply.

"I thought you meant you were a stripper." He confesses and I widen my eyes, elbowing him gently.

"No!"

"Well, I'm sorry! You're married to a rock guy, you said you use to be a dancer, rockers and strippers go hand-in-hand. It's, like, written in stone or whatever." He tells me.

"Oh my gosh, Duff." I rub my face and he finishes his cigarette before pulling out another one.

"So, why don't you do it anymore?" He asks and I think for a second and lick my lips.

"It just wasn't really..." I trail off and he furrows his brows. "...I guess after over a decade of dancing, after graduating, it just wasn't my thing anymore. I just moved onto bigger and better stuff."

"What's your thing now, then?" It's obvious he doesn't buy my explanation.

"Being Nikki Sixx's wife." I admit and an odd silence falls over us.

"You gave up school--Julliard--and dance, only to be known as somebody's wife?"

"Well, damn, Duff, when you say it like that..." I try not to be hurt because I know he doesn't mean any ill will from it and he immediately starts apologizing.

"I didn't mean it like that." He tells me. "It's just a waste of talent if you never utilize it anymore. You can't just be dependent on being Nikki's wife, Viv. You need your own thing."

I wanted to tell him I couldn't afford to be anything but Nikki's wife, or else I'd lose everything.

Nikki's home sooner than I expect as I get ready for bed.

Steven, Tansy and Duff are all asleep on the living room floor, and Nikki comes into our bathroom to splash water on his face.

"The fuck is in our house?" He asks me and I raise my brows.

"Why're you home this early?"

"Jason's coming over." He tells me. "And he's bringing his girlfriend."

"Umm, baby, it would be nice for my friends not to wake up and be met with a drug dealer naming off poisons like an auctioneer."

"Tell them to fuck off." He mumbles, digging through his pockets of the clothes he was wearing yesterday. "Have you seen the check?" He asks me and I raise my brows.

"The check from the label for the Japan tour?" I ask and he nods. "You asked me to cash it yesterday and I did."

"Okay, so where did you put it?"

I step to my top drawer and hand him the stack of cash and he starts thumbing through it, his brows furrowing when he stops halfway through.

"The check was for $150,000, Viv. Where's the rest?" He snaps and I cross my arms.

"You said put 20% in savings and told me I could give 10% to tithes." I remind him, and he looks like he is going to murder me.

"You gave fifteen fucking thousand dollars to a church?! Are you out of your fucking mind?!" He seeths, his face twisting angrily.

"You told me I could Nikki." I try not to get upset. "I asked you and you said—"

"—I said 'yes' because I was fucked up and wasn't thinking, Viv!" He yells, throwing the pile of cash across the room, causing bills to fly everywhere. "And that's exactly why you waited until you knew I couldn't pay attention to care enough about what you were saying because you knew I would laugh in your face if I were sober!" He accuses me.

"Is it so bad if your money goes to something other than drugs?" I stupidly ask him.

He's lunging at me, grabbing my wrists, and pinning me to the bed while screaming in my face.

"That's my fucking money! Mine! How I want to spend it is my fucking business, Vivian!" He shakes me, and I can no longer hold back tears. "You're gonna go tomorrow to that fucking shit hole and tell those fallacious bastards you need that $15,000 back!"

"Nikki, I already told them it was their's." I try to explain, shaking my head a little, sobbing so thickly I'm not even sure he can understand me.

"You'll get my fucking money back or I'll give you something to fucking whine about." He threatens darkly.

He shoves himself off of me and storms out of the house, slamming the front door.

I go to make sure he didn't wake Tans, Stevie, or Duff up, but to my horror, Tansy and Steven are sound asleep while I hear the door slam a second time and realize Duff followed Nikki out.

#nikki sixx #tommy lee #vince neil #mötley crüe #the dirt

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arsyeong · 5 years

Text

[3] yes or yes | wje.

o n e / t w o

summary: jackson wang has been annoying you ever since you started working at the same place as him. when he offers you a deal that ends up with him stopping, there was no other option other than yes. word count: 1,627

a/n: gotta get this out here - this entire thing was a MESS . i didnt know where i wanted this story to go but it went here and now this is the end because im finishing stuff up before school starts (ive said that so many times um). but i still hope yall like this though hehe ^^

He had said that seriously, his eyes locked on yours and his body portraying no sign of ingenuity. It had always been you. He didn’t even know a Sohee that works on your floor, because his eyes had always been on you.

He had tried to forget you – he was an idol – but he just couldn’t get you out of his mind. Whenever he had the chance to think about anything aside from his work, his thoughts always drifted to you. It drove him mad how you seemed to be everywhere – you were on his sheets, you were beside him, you were wrapped around him, you were with him – though you’ve spent less than a day with him.

He was convinced he’d never see you again but, then, there you were.

In the same building he goes to every day, in the same area, staring at him in surprise.

He couldn’t help but drift to you physically now that he knew where you were. In between practices, errands, arrival and departure – any time he had a chance to see you, he took it.

“You should ask her out then,” Jaebeom had advised him but, every time his conversation with you was building up to that very question, you would push him away. It took three times of that before he realized he annoyed you, and he wanted to stop, but he couldn’t just let go of you.

Tonight was supposed to be a closure of his unrequited love for you. His plan was to take you to a wedding, have a little fun with you and leave his few fantasies of ending up with you.

His sudden confession was not part of the plan, but maybe he subconsciously decided to leave that part out there and make things too awkward for him to go near you.

He stares at you now as he waits for you to react but, even though he’s afraid of what you have to say, he still can’t help but admire how beautiful you look in your dress for tonight. You simply shone in his eyes, in ways he can’t express. That brightness of yours blinded him and made him lose control of his normally relaxed self; maybe it was the reason he always acted like a fool around you.

When you don’t say anything in the next minute, he sighs sadly and hops off his car. “I should take you home now. It’s getting late.”

“But I thought you said we should wait until the party’s over?”

“I’ll just tell them something came up,” he says, and he tentatively holds out his hand, “You’re right. This wasn’t part of our agreement.”

You choose to hop off on your own, and Jackson’s quick to retract his hand. He begins walking but realizes he was headed to the passenger side so he turns and bumps into you. “Sorry,” he murmurs, not even looking you in the eye as he steps back and goes on his way.

You’re left standing there, the wind slightly blowing at your dress and at your hair. You didn’t want to be too close to him just yet, so you sigh and face the view earlier once more.

The city is bright in the distance, and you can’t help but think about how it was you and Jackson Wang who ended up in a situation like this among all the others in the world. Would the two of you be any different if you had met under different circumstances? If you weren’t heartbroken as you are? Would he be happily in a relationship right now if you hadn’t approached him that night?

There were so many possibilities, but this was the one that became your reality.

“Let’s go,” you hear Jackson call from the car. You turn and see him looking back at you, and the sadness was evident in his large eyes. He offers you a small smile, but you lower your head and rush to the passenger side. “It’s colder in here,” he says when you open the door and get in, “There’s air conditioning.”

He turns on the radio and cranks it up a tadbit louder than he had on the drive to the venue but, otherwise, there was silence.

Until you tell him to stop the car.

“Did you forget something?” He looks at you, genuine concern illuminated by the faint glow from the radio.

“We need to talk about it, you know.”

“About what?”

“About you liking me!” You’re frustrated. You know he’s just playing dumb to postpone the conversation, but the thoughts have been eating at you and you just want to let them all out. “If you don’t want to talk about it, fine! Just let me say my piece,” you take in a breath, “I went over to you for a one-night stand. I didn’t expect to see you again but then there you were, flowers in hand and recognition in your eyes. You were supposed to be the closure to an ugly era in my life. Seeing you every day made me feel so guilty of the things I’ve done in that period, and that’s why you annoy me so much.

“I really wanted to end any connection with you tonight but now you’re telling me you like me and I don’t want to be rude and brush you off because you don’t deserve that! You’re a really nice guy, Jackson; you’re kind, smart, funny, athletic, handsome, mature, good in bed and so much more. If you didn’t bring back memories of my past, trust me, I would probably be head over heels in love with you.”

You pause to take a deep breath and, when you turn to him, you see he’s staring at you intently. You’re quick to look away and sigh, “I’m sorry.”

There’s silence and you feel his eyes on you. He’s processing everything you’ve just said, and his eyes slowly soften as he did.

“It’s alright,” he says after a while, “I’m sorry too.”

“You shouldn’t-“

“I knew very well I annoyed you but I didn’t stop,” he explains, “That’s something I should be sorry for.”

A few seconds pass before he’s driving again, softer music filling the car at a lower volume. Your eyes are on the dark outdoors and his are on the road. The two of you may feel lighter after having confessed what you both did, but it still feels as if there’s some things left to be clarified.

“Don’t you want to ask me something?” You couldn’t take the silence anymore; the two of you needed to end this before he drops you off.

“I don’t want to pry.”

“Then let me just tell you,” you say, and you notice his eyes widen slightly. You face front and your hands come together on your lap. “My fiancé cheated on me.”

“If you’re not comfortable talking about it-“

“I went through a dark time because of it, but I can talk about it just fine.”

Jackson listens as you narrate your struggles of getting over the misfortune, the things you’ve done and the things you had wanted to do. He doesn’t say a word and keeps on driving, but you notice the facial expressions for the right emotions at some parts of your story. By the time you finished, he was driving through familiar streets.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” he whispers, “and I’m sorry for being a reminder of that.”

“It’s not your fault,” you tell him, “I was the one who approached you.”

The two of you are quiet again, and he pulls up in front of your house a few minutes later. Neither of you move.

“I had fun tonight,” he says lightly and, if anyone else were to hear that, they’d think the two of you went on a lovely date, when it was anything but that.

“What happens to us now?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugs and faces you, “I’ll leave that decision up to you.”

You’ve dreamed about reaching this point, this moment where Jackson Wang would finally stop annoying the life out of you, and you’ve always thought it would be so easy to tell him to back off. Now, however, you weren’t quite sure. “What do you want to happen?”

“I want to become friends,” he says immediately, “but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

You take a good look at him, styled hair slightly messy and wide eyes glimmering in the dark, and you realize the sight of him doesn’t irritate you as much anymore. Maybe it was because you’ve shared your story, your burden, with him that made him tolerable to look at.

Instead of a reminder of your pain and regrets, he looks more like a friend now, ready to help you and make you better again.

So you decide to go with his idea, and you didn’t even think it was possible for his eyes to light up even more. Even in the dark, you could still see how his face fills with glee, and the sight doesn’t piss you off as much as it did before.

“We start tomorrow then,” he says, “Forget about me when you sleep and we’ll start anew tomorrow, yeah?”

You just nod. “Thanks for the ride,” you pause and then think to add, “stranger!”

He chuckles as you get off his car, and it’s pleasant to hear this time.

Perhaps the two of you are meant to be, even if it’s in this way. Maybe fate has more in store for the two of you, but that’s in the future. It’s like the universe presented you with Jackson and gave you two choices: yes or yes.

And you chose yes.

p r e v i o u s

#lit rally a MESS luvs #this annoyed me sm bc i already dont write much for jackson nd i pull this SHIT??#idk man hope yall like it #got7 #got7 angst #got7 scenarios #jackson wang #jackson wang scenarios #jackson wang angst #yes or yes #got7 jackson #got7 jackson angst #got7 jackson scenarios #the problem with the dash i still dont know im so sad

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freeamoebas · 5 years

Text

Bill Cipher was awake, as usual, at 3AM.

He absolutely refused to sleep, the idea of entering the plane of consciousness he used to dominate humiliated and (even if he’d never admit it) terrified him. Occasionally, he’d doze off for a couple hours at most, but that was once every couple days. Plus, those precious couple hours of sleep were usually disturbed by nightmares regarding the axolotl, the second dimension, or worse.

Bill was wrapped up in a fluffy blanket Mabel had provided, rereading Flatland by Edwin Abbott. The story was strikingly similar to how the second dimension actually was, with all the rules about shapes, sides, women, etc. The book reminded him of Liam, his irregular brother, and how he read so many illegal books about the third dimension. Odd that a dimension like this would have books about something as dull as the second dimension.

Bill realized it was probably because humans craved the idea of suffering. Or at least the idea of apocalyptic eras. Funnily enough, they didn’t seem to get too big of a kick out of his Weirdmageddon.

The demon’s body froze up when he heard creaks from the staircase. His heart raced, worried it was Sixer coming back to scold him after their little… argument, which resulted in Bill gouging his own eye out after a complete nervous meltdown. Now he had to wear this dumb piece of gauze to cover the wound up.

He found himself pulling the blankets closer around him, as if it were a shield of some sort. He relaxed when it was just Mabel, going to the kitchen to get some water. ��Hi Bill,” she said, her voice thick with sleep. “Shouldn’t you be-” She was cut off by a yawn. “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

“Can’t.” Bill held the book close to his chest and warily eyed the girl.

“Why not?”

“Oh, I dunno, Shooting Star, maybe because sleeping wastes ONE THIRD OF YOUR PUNY EXISTENCE, WHICH ISN’T SAYING MUCH CONSIDERING YOU MEAT SACKS LIVE, WHAT, EIGHT OR NINE DECADES BEFORE KICKING THE BUCKET?” Bill’s shrill voice came out louder than anticipated. He hoped the Stan twins wouldn’t wake, he was way too tired to deal with them at that very moment. Mabel simply blinked at the string of words that tumbled out of the demon’s mouth.

“...Does Mr. Grumpypants need someone to stay up with him?”

Bill huffed at that, but made no move to stop her as the teen sat next to him on the couch. She peered over at the book he had still clutched against his chest.

“Yanno, I always see you reading that book. I tried reading it once! It was really boring,” Mabel said, bluntly. She paused for dramatic effect, but noticed the odd, almost irritated look on Bill’s face, and quickly continued. “Why do you keep reading that book over ‘n over again, anyways? I could show you better ones, if you want!”

Bill’s odd expression melted away into something tired and… sad? No way, Bill Cipher’s only emotions were irritating, angry and crazy laughing. Those were totally emotions, at least in Mabel’s mind.

“It makes me feel… nostalgic, I guess,” Bill finally murmured.

“Oh.” Mabel didn’t really know what else to say. How does a dumb confusing book make someone nostalgic? Maybe Bill’s mother- if he even had one- used to read it to him when he was little. That would make a lot of sense, actually. Weirdo.

They sat in silence for a few more moments before Mabel turned to him. “Want me to show you me and Dip Dop’s cool hiding place?” Her mouth stretched into a mischievous grin. She knew Bill had the tendency to hide in odd little spaces. She’d found him in closets, under tables, but usually he’d bundle himself up and hide under the blankets the Pines provided for him. “Blanket town” Mabel had affectionately nicknamed his most common hiding spot.

Bill glared suspiciously at Mabel, clearly not trusting her judgement of what she considered cool. Finally, he shrugged and got up, still keeping the fluffy blanket wrapped around his shoulders. “I literally have NOTHING better to do,” the demon sighed, and followed his ally to a not so trustworthy looking ladder.

The climb to the top was… rigorous, to say the least. Bill nearly fell off the ladder several times, not knowing completely how to put one foot above the other, and occasionally forgetting he had to hold onto the railing. When they finally managed to climb out of the chimney, they sat on the floor of the little flat above the gift shop.

Bill was panting as if he had run a marathon and Mabel was beaming, congratulating him on how well he did.

“Yeah yeah, you don’t gotta BABY ME, yanno.” Bill waved her off with his gloved hand, doing his best to sound irritated. He’d never admit it, but he actually liked Mabel’s pity praises. It definitely beat Sixer’s life lessons about how everything bad that has happened to the Pines family during the past 45 years was Bill’s fault.

Mabel giggled at Bill’s dull attempt at sounding mad and turned her attention up at the starry sky. One thing she adored about Gravity Falls was that there was no more city haze to cover her view of the stars. She could look up, and boom. Thousands upon millions of pretty twinkly dots in the sky, waiting to be stared at.

Mabel turned to Bill. “Do you have any alien friends?” she asked, wiggling her eyebrows. Bill frowned at her, not entirely sure what Shooting Star was implying.

“Sure, kid.”

Mabel gestured for Bill to continue. “C’monnn, didn’t you liberate like… a bazillion dimensions? Tell me about a good one.”

Bill shrugged. “Shooting Star, you gotta remember that what I consider good and what you consider good are LITERAL POLAR OPPOSITES.”

“Okay,” Mabel said slowly. “Tell me about a good dimension… In my standards.”

Bill gave Mabel an exasperated look. He was way too tired to try to remember some puny dimension he had liberated eons ago, especially with his memory failing and all, but at the same time he was way too tired to deal with Shooting Star haggling for a happy story.

“FIIINE,” Bill snapped. He then rested his chin in his hand, trying to think of the best story that would shut Shooting Star up. A small grin appeared on his face and he finger gunned in her direction.

“Did Fordsy ever tell you about GOOD OLE’ DIMENSION 1610?”

And then he continued with an elaborate story about a world where the world hunger issue was solved, the majority of countries allianced with each other under a common socialist society, Bernie Sanders became president, superheroes were real, and much much more. He most of all emphasized how he had influenced the majority of these fortunate series of events, since he wanted at least one good dimension to come out of the countless dimensions he had ruled in the past.

Mabel listened the entire time with round, amazed eyes. Everytime Bill would add a new detail, she would always dramatically react, encouraging Bill to continue.

The story went on for a couple hours at least, Bill staying animated as ever the entire time. When he was finished, the sky was beginning to lighten.

The demon crossed his arms, grinning. One thing that definitely puts him in a good mood was talking about himself.

“So?”

“So…” Mabel’s gaze darkened, giving Bill an extremely serious look, making him worry he said something wrong. “That was… SO FREAKING COOL! And imagine having a superhero boyfriend… Spider-Man… if you’re out there… Why couldn’t you have done that instead of ruining our town?” The girl excitedly rambled.

After a good five minutes of talking, Mabel began to settle down, realizing just how late- or early- it was, and how little sleep she had gotten. She was going to need a lot of Mabel juice today if her and Dipper were going adventuring.

Bill laughed as Shooting Star analyzed his story, with that classic unhinged laugh that always gave her chills no matter how often she heard it. She was a little too tired at the moment to care about just how creepy Bill’s laugh was.

“I just so happen to know a g-” Bill was cut off when Mabel rested her head on his shoulder. His entire body stiffened.

For a split second Bill was tempted to shove the girl straight off the roof, but knew better. Ford would blast his head off without a moment of hesitation. So instead, the demon forced himself to relax and take a few breaths.

He hated being touched, but he realized the only times he’s ever been touched in this new body was when someone was punching him in the nose or yanking his collar so hard he choked. Mabel’s head against his shoulder was… comforting, in a way.

Mabel felt Bill stiffen. She braced herself to have his shoulder yanked away with a snarky comment following. It never came, though, and she let out a small breath of relief.

Mabel talks to Bill the most out of everyone in the Pines family, since she was the most sympathetic. Although, she was very aware to keep a distance, not wanting to be manipulated as Ford had been. Nonetheless, she was glad their friendship had reached a peak from annoying ex-demon living with her family to someone who tells her stories until she falls asleep.

“You know… you’re not that bad of a dude,” Mabel mumbled before her eyelids drooped and she dozed off.

Bill blinked at that final comment, totally taken by surprise. He hadn’t heard someone say that about him in… years. The demon’s heart swelled just a tiny bit, although he wasn’t quite sure what this emotion was called. In the future, he will discover this emotion is called friendship, something the All Seeing Eye hasn’t truly experienced in eons.

#skip writes #bill cipher #mabel pines #gravity falls #human bill cipher #btw this is NOT shippy they are just friends.. and mabel is like 15 U_U

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pockpop · 6 years

Text

the loved and the damned part two | seo changbin

➵ summary: throwing up flowers for a boy in love with someone else is more exciting than not loving him at all.

➵ genre: fluffy angsty stuff ya know, tattooed!changbin, college au, 1990s era

*lyrics credit to julia micheals

oct.23.2018 | 9:23pm

masterlist

••

part one | part two

“hurts to remember the moment we met, the touch that he planted, the garden he left.”

•

october 1997

the arrival of fall was evident in the cool breeze that welcomed us in the beginning of october. but the colder it got, the more sick i was. and to make matters worse, oblivious changbin was still in love with his ex girlfriend. so why was i still in love with him? that’s a question neither myself or my dumb heart could answer.

as usual, for breakfast, changbin and i sat in a booth at georgie’s diner, a hangout spot close to campus that many students went to for the three meals of the day. but keeping down even one meal was becoming difficult for me.

“just because i said i’m paying doesn’t mean pick at your food,” changbin commented with a mouth full of seasoned potatoes. I scrunched up my face at him and cut into my omelet that still had steam coming from it.

“hey so I have a question,” changbin motioned for me to speak as he was starting to dig into his chocolate chip pancakes.“so have you ever heard of someone throwing up flowers?”

he stopped mid-chew,staring at me oddly.“that’s an odd question. why do you ask?”

i huffed, scratching my neck,“I um- read it in a book the other day?”

changbin snorted as he continued to eat,”those fiction books you read, you gotta get your head out of the clouds sometimes y/l/n. we need you down here.” he joked lightly flicking my forehead, but just that tiny touch upset my stomach. gripping the edge of the booth seat, i took a deep breath to try and subside the nausea but it didn’t work.

“I’ve got to go to the bathroom, just don’t eat my omelet,” I said pointing at him while I stood up, he waved me off and was already reaching to get a bite of it anyway.

speed-walking to the bathroom, i barely made it to the toilet before the flowers exploded out of my mouth. calla lilies decorated the toilet, the toilet seat, the floor and my shirt. i groaned out as my eyes blurred with pain filled tears. i closed my eyes briefly but only for a second before a knock came at the stall door.”hello? are you alright in there?” a female voice said through the door.

“yes. just still fighting a stomach virus.” I sickly replied as i to scrambled to pick up the flowers and flush the toilet. as i was turning to open the door,i watched the girl’s hand reach down to pick up a stray lily.

catching a glimpse of her hand, i recognized the lotus flower tattoo on her hand but i couldn’t remember from where. her cautious voice followed afterward.“it’s gets easier,over time. at least until these beautiful flowers turn fatal... I do hope you feel better.”

at least until these beautiful flowers turn fatal? what the hell was she talking about? i wasn’t sure but i was still stuck wondering how in the hell i was gonna fix whatever was going on with my body.

••

“hey chris, did she call today?” was the first question out of changbin’s mouth the moment we entered the frat house. chris barely glanced up from his textbook, waving changbin off.”when she does, isn’t it the first thing i tell you?”

changbin bit his lip, balancing his weight back and forth for a moment before he looked back at me.”does this mean she really doesn’t want to get back together or something?”

“I don’t know binnie, it’s only been a week.”

see, changbin’s ex had approached him just a week ago talking all this stuff about fixing the tension between them and saying she’d call him again soon so they can really talk. i was getting tired of hearing about her. one moment he’s completely in my face and complimenting me, clinging to my side like an over-attached child and then the moment she is even mentioned, it was like i didn’t exist. not only was it hurting my pride to still even be in this situation but it wasn’t as if i was calling him out on his bullshit. i let him do it because what girl doesn’t love the pain of her unrequited love?

groaning, changbin grabbed my hand and led me upstairs to his room. once we reached his room, i pulled my hand away, nausea settling in my stomach again. he didn’t even notice. “i just don’t get it. you can give someone all your time and they barely even notice you.” he complained sitting on his bed to kick off his sneakers. it was only when he glanced up at me still standing in the doorway did he pause.

“are you okay? you don’t look so good.” i shook my head, gripping the straps of my backpack.”i think i’m actually gonna head out.”

“but i have something for you and-”

“just show me next time? yeah, i’ll see you tomorrow.”

i felt the room was caving in,my chest so tight that my vision was blurring. i turned to leave the room and almost fell into the door frame. his hands were there to catch me, as they always seemed to be, but never to hold me. pulling away from his grip, i walked down the stairs, almost making it out the door before a tear dropped down my cheek.

why was i letting him do this to me? he’ll never love me back.

my stomach burned as the roots seemed to plant themselves deeper and i had thought i held down the nausea well enough for once but once i finally took a deep breath of fresh air, a calla lily escaped from my mouth onto the front porch.

“y/n! wait-” panicking, i clapped a hand over my mouth and was about to run down the steps but i faltered seeing changbin’s ex standing in the walkway watching me. she didn’t look upset, but intrigued, her baby doll brown eyes were unreadable.

“sophie,”changbin choked out and she finally tore her attention away from me to him beside me. swallowing hard, i walked past her, not missing her side-eyeing me. changbin didn’t even say goodbye. but then again, neither did i.

••

a few days later in my avoiding changbin quest, I walked into the art department building, carrying my art supplies bag in my arms with a ton of paint inside. I couldn’t exactly see in front of me so when I did bump into someone, the person caught the bag before i dropped it.

“oh thank-“i stopped mid-sentense seeing sophie in front of me. “thank you,”I finished softly. she smiled gingerly at me, her face brightening as she smiled,”no girl you’re fine. you need some help?”

“I wouldn’t mind any actually,”i spoke, allowing her to take the bag from me. it was then did i notice the lotus flower on her hand, the beautiful intricate design of it mesmerizing me. it was the same one I saw in the restaurant, and her voice was the same collected and calm tone. she noticed that I was staring at her hand and followed my eyes to her tattoo. “let’s get inside shall we? then we can talk?”

she turned and followed me to the art room I rented out for a few hours. my project was due in a month and everyone else was already doing their finishing touches while i had barely started adding the paint or any of the actually art to my project.

“so changbin and you, huh?”

startled by her question, i shook my head quickly,”oh no, just friends. he’s still...getting over some stuff.”

she giggled,”typically of binnie, but I think it’s better for us this way,”

once we were inside the art room, she waited until I had taken out all my supplies and canvas before she settled on sitting on one of the tables. her tattooed legs swinging comfortably.

“my flowers appeared soon after I started dating changbin. gorgeous red lotuses. I thought I was going crazy at first. and then I questioned if it was just that he didn’t love me. but it actually wasn’t him at all.”

I looked away from my canvas to her in confusion and she laughed at my expression,”yes you’re not the only one out there with this damned disease. see, before changbin, I was actually talking to minho, you know lee minho the dancer?”

“basically runs the dance department,” I responded

“oh yeah you bet he does and he and I had a thing before changbin showed up. but no one knew, since minho was all about image and what not so of course I fell for him anyway but then he broke it off. and the flowers showed up after changbin and I were together.”

shaking her jet black beach curls,she sighed deeply.”it was horrible. painful in every way and I was considering just going to the doctor and asking them to rip open my lungs. I was so mean to changbin because I hated being with him and knowing my heart was with someone else. I wanted to stop hurting him. so we broke up and I wanted to just suffer until I died I guess but then... the flowers stopped.”

I bit my lip waiting for her to continue. her eyes met mine and i could see them watering,”minho eventually loved me back. I mean he just confessed and then the flowers were just gone. we haven’t let anyone know because of obvious reasons but if he didn’t love me back I probably wouldn’t be here right now.”

I went back to organizing everything, putting on my apron in deep consideration.”so we just have to wait to they love us back or die?”

“well no-not exactly. see, there’s this special doctor in the next city over that does surgeries for this. he says there’s a way where he can get rid of the roots, only problem is it rids you of any emotions at all. sick isn’t it?”

i nodded, not feeling too good. rubbing my stomach, i did want to get rid of the stupid flowers, but ridding myself of all emotions? dying? changbin actually loving me back? all of it sounded like complete bullshit.

“you can wait for him to love you back, get the surgery or die. all of them sucky I know, but it’s just the curse of us damned ones.”

i snorted, liking how the simple sound made sophie smile,“oh we have a name now?”

the beautiful girl grinned,”i just came up with that. it’s a rare disease but it’s out there.says to have been around for centuries, passed down and some stupid crap like that. either way there’s the ones who are loved and then there’s us, and i’m really pissed at whoever passed it down my family lineage, aren’t you?”

i sat down on a stool and shrugged,”i just hope whoever it was was worth it for them.”

sophie bit her lip and tilted her head at me,”that’s why we still love them through the pain. they are always worth it.”

••

“are you ignoring me or something?” i heard him before i saw him, the scratching of his skateboard against the pavement made me roll my eyes. i stopped walking to allow him to catch up to me and once he did, i was pissed i even looked at him. as always, changbin looked his best. wearing a black bomber jacket, white t-shirt, ripped jeans, and black air-force ones, as simple as the outfit was, he made it look so damn good.

he also didn’t look too happy with me either, gripping his skateboard in one hand and his sketchbook in the other, his body was entirely facing mine.

“no. i just talked to you.” the tattooed boy narrowed his eyes at me, tilting his head in agitation,revealing a new design on his neck.”don’t give me that bull, ‘ight? just tell me what’s been going on with you? i thought we were cool?”

“we are, binnie. but aren’t you and sophie back doing who knows what? why are you even here bothering me?”

he looked taken aback, frowning at my answer.”sophie and i aren’t getting back together for one. and two, cause i can. you’re my best friend y/n, am i just not supposed to be worried about you?” when i didn’t answer him right away, he looked down at the space between us and took a deep sigh. “i’m sorry, okay? for ignoring you, for talking about her all the time, i’m just..sorry.”

his eyes met mine finally and i just couldn’t do it. damnit changbin, why are you so damn beautiful? i groaned and punched his arm,making him yelp.”i seriously hate you,” changbin just dropped his skateboard and sketchbook and scooped me up in his arms, burring his face into my neck. it took me a second before i hugged him back, but once i did, i didn’t want to let him go. with the cold breeze,it was easy for me to melt into his embrace and soak up the feeling of him.

no matter how much i wanted him to be mine, i had to realize he just would never feel the same. no matter how much i wanted this feeling constantly from him, to feel protected and loved by him, the sooner i realized it wasn’t going to happen, the better i would feel. at least that’s what i kept telling myself.

but that didn’t work at all. it had only been two days later when my body finally couldn’t take it anymore.

gorgeous calla lilies decorated my tiny dorm room. the trail of them like a trail of bloody death led all the way to the bathroom where i was hacking up more and more. my throat raw and my stomach clenching painfully, my nails gripped the sides of the toilet with blurry eyes as tears streamed down my face.

was he really worth all this pain? was he worth dying for?

flushing the toilet, i slumped down beside it to rest, closing my eyes for just a moment to let my body relax. I thought it was just a few minutes but the opening and closing of my dorm door made me shoot up from the floor.

“um, y/n?” i heard changbin call out. i barely scrambled to my feet but stopped short in the mirror seeing how terrible I looked. my usually vibrant dark skin was now sucked of all light and the dark circles under my eyes made me realize I was already dying.

my hair was falling into my face in nappy, tangles and my lips were swollen.

the sound of his approaching footsteps took me out of my trance and quickly I closed the bathroom door, locking it.

“y/n? tell me what’s going on? why are there bloody flowers everywhere?” I could hear him trying to turn the locked door knob.

“changbin, please go,”i rasped out, already feeling woozy again. “y/n, open this damn door right now.” I fell to my knees, the room spinning. I clenched my eyes shut to try and gain control but then the flowers started spewing out, so many that i felt like i was choking.

and then I was slipping into the darkness, my head banging against the floor just as changbin broke the door open.

••

it was the beeping of the heart monitor that oozed me out of a deep darkness. squinting to the bright lights, my vision eventually cleared to see changbin asleep beside me. his head on my lap, his hand in mine.

lifting my thigh a bit to wake him up, he groaned softly after a while but eventually opened his eyes so i could see those sweet brown eyes that i fell for once before. he stared at me for a moment, more in admiration than anything before he narrowed his eyes at me.

“why didn’t you tell me I was doing this to you?”

“because telling you wasn’t going to automatically make you fall in love with me and make it stop.”

“but I do love you, that’s how you’re still alive.”

i furrowed my eyebrows at him and he lifted his head to shyly smile at me.”the doctors told me that the only way they were going to be able to save you was the surgery. you were on the brink of death so even if i did eventually fall for you, it would be too late..” he rubbed his thumb across my hand before squeezing it. “but as they were beginning the surgery, the roots, the flowers, they just started disappearing.”

i smiled coyly at him,”you never know what you have until it’s almost gone.”

changbin laughed at me, lifting my hand to his mouth to kiss it,” you’ve never spoken truer words. and now that I have you, I’m never letting go.”

••

I lay in the grass with my backpack under my head, staring up at the sky. the sun was soon to set and the clouds were decorated in oranges and pinks. my cassette was playing my new mariah carey tape,fantasy making me bop my head rhythmically.

my view got covered by changbin standing over me, two glasses of lemonade in his hands. I glared at him and pulled out my earphones.

“mariah and I don’t approve of you blocking my view.” changbin snorted and kneeled down beside me, waiting for me to sit up before he handed me the glass. “drink up, chris made it fresh just for you.”

“wow, why didn’t i just date him then?” i asked before taking a sip of my lemonade, choking on the beverage when i saw his shocked facial expression. leaning over, i pressed a chaste kiss on his lips, liking the smile that spread across his face. “i’m just kidding, i didn’t go through all that pain for nothing.”

his face fell at the mention of it but i just leaned my forehead against his and pressed my lips gently to his nose, “i don’t know why you’re all sad when i mention it. if it didn’t happen, would we have been here right now? in this moment?”

he narrowed his eyes in thought.”actually, what got us to this moment was that old ass cassette player you got.”

“don’t come for my cassette! you murdered my poor baby and i will always despise you for it!”i yelled making him laugh,

“you’re so dramatic, drink your damn lemonade you out-of-style hippy.”

“don’t even start with your wanna-be hard-rapper act when your soft ass actually sleeps with not one but two stuffed animals and a ice cold cup of water every night.”

changbin gasped, holding his chest as if he had just been attacked,”you’ve been talking to chris haven’t you?!” sipping on my lemonade,i laid back down and ignored his question, watching him jump up and run inside yelling profanities.

i couldn’t help the laughter that stirred up in me then. it’s funny how life works out, how things can seem to fall into place. some way...some how.

#stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #seo changbin imagines #seo changbin scenarios #poc kpop #hanahaki disease #stray kids #stray kids au #poc reader #seo changbin

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the-gay-trashmouth · 5 years

Text

Can’t you see i’m a little busy right now? (A-Z Prompt #3)

Rating: Teen

warnings: Period-typical homophobia, internalized homophobia

Era: Canon

Ship(s): Sprace, background Javid

Note: I would have had this done a lot sooner but my file corrupted the first time and i lost everything. But here it is and i hope you enjoy it even though it’s late!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Race loved to tangle his hands in Spot's messy brown hair. Whether they were kissing, cuddling, or just playing cards he always had his hands in his tangled mess of hair.

He did just that as Spot pressed his back against the wall of his private room in the Brooklyn lodging house. There were defiantly perks of being the so-called King, and the privacy was the one Race enjoyed the most. There's only so many times you can make-out in some dirty old alleyway without being caught.

Spot gripped his hips with a strange combination of aggressiveness and softness that Race absolutely adored. Race grinned into the Brooklyn leader's lips and pulled back, pure mischief in his eyes "ya' miss me or somethin'?"

Spot jerked him closer and muttered a "Shaddup will ya" before capturing his lips again. He happily complied, wrapping his arms around his neck almost and kissing him without another comment. This was a better way to spend his time anyways.

Spot bit his lower lip gently and he gasped just as the door opened.

"Hey, Conlon, Copper's been lookin' for ya'" Spot's second in command Spades froze in the doorway, only looking mildly surprised to see Spot pining the taller boy against a wall and Race's arms still around his neck.

"Can't ya see I's in the middle a' somethin' at the moment?" Spot pulled back just far enough that he could turn to look at her, hands still on race's hip and giving him a reassuring squeeze.

She rolled her eyes, "Whatever ya queer, just find 'im when you's done" she waved dismissively, shutting the door on her way out.

"Oh, to hell wit' ya'!" he called out after her before turning back to Race, who hadn't moved an inch during that whole interaction, "you's okay Racer?"

He finally snapped out of whatever trance he was in and pushed Spot away "How can you's be so calm about this? We's got caught, we's never got caught before!" he whisper hissed, glancing towards the door as if she would burst in at any second with an army of Brooklyn boys ready to soak him for somehow tempting their leader or whatever.

Spot gave him a confused look "Spades ain't gonna rat us out-"

"How d'ya know that?" he dug his nails into his arms and Spot took a concerned step towards him.

"Hey," he reached out to grab Race's hands and pried them off his arms "Trust me, I knows Spades, she ain't gonna rat us out"

It physically hurt Race to jerk his arms away, because Spot was using that soft tone of voice he reserved especially for Race. Just for when they were alone together, blocked away from the rest of the world and it was just them, and it hurt to pull away from that.

But he had too "I- I's sorry Spot, I gotta go" he clambered out the window and bolted down the fire-escape.

The only thing going through his mind as he made his way across the bridge was the muted crack he heard from the window as he left spot behind.

~~~~~

"A'ight, what's up wit you?"

Race turned lazily to look at Jack who was leaning on the bedpost of Race and Romeo's shared bunk. It was after selling hours but most of the boys had gone to Jacobi's. Race stayed behind.

"Nothin'" he grumbled, twirling his unlit cigar.

Jack rolled his eyes and shoved Race's feet off the bed to sit in their place "bullshit, you's been mopin' around all week"

Race sighed, falling back on his bunk and putting his lanky legs in Jack's lap obnoxiously. "I ain't mopin', I just can't go back ta Brooklyn no more," he said as nonchalantly as he could.

"What? Spot kick ya out or somethin'" Jack raised an eyebrow at him.

"Or somethin'..." he trailed off, lolling his head to the side and sighing.

Jack rolled his eyes again "so you's just gonna lay there an' mope cause Spot didn't kick ya' out?"

"Me an' Spotty just ain't pals no more, can't sell on his turf"'

"So you's can't sell on his turf afta he didn't kick ya out and ya haven't seen him all week, even though you's been sellin' there for years even before you twos met?" Jack sounded unconvinced "Race you's a walking contradiction"

"Oo, big word Jack, Kath teach ya' that?" Race sat up, pulling his gangly legs up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them.

He swore he saw Jack go pink before scratching the back of his neck and saying "Naw, Davey did"

Oh... OH!

Race grinned, leaning in to get in Jack's face, "So you an' Davey, eh? Ya gotta tell me, d' they call him Mouth for a good reason?"

Jack went scarlet and shoved his cackling face away "don't try an' distract me from the issue here! You's still mopin' over Colon an' when I saw 'im today he looked like he ain't had a wink a' sleep"

Race went quiet for a moment. "He looks that bad?" he asked softly.

"He looks like you, Racetrack. You look like shit too" Jack flashed him a cheeky smile before going sober again, "Look, me an' Spot's been pals since before he was king, an' he ain't eva invited me to weekly poker nights, an' he ain't ever let me call 'im Spotty."

Race went uncharacteristically quiet. "Ya really think he'd wanna see me?" He asked, anxiety seeping into his every word.

"Look, I don't know what you's done, but I know he looked pretty torn up, an Spades is pretty pissed you ain't bringin' Romeo along anymore" Jack punched him in the arm playfully and Race finally grinned.

"Swear, she acts like she's his mom or somethin'" he paused for a moment before standing up and grinning confidentially "aight. I's gotta go, got a fella ta see"

Jack grinned. "Ya betta hurry, don't want him ta realize how awful you's is"

He went solemn for a moment "look, Jack, Brooklyn's a dangerous place. If I don't make it back, tell Davey he can do betta"

Jack hit him with a pillow "alright get outta here!"

Race did, and he knew just where to find the short Brooklyn leader.

~~~~~

The sun was just starting to set when he made it to the docks and a chill settled into his bones. Most if the newsies had already settled into the lodging house for the night, but if Spot looked as bad as Jack said he did then Race knew he'd be here.

Just as he had suspected, there on one of the crates sat Spot. He knew he was grinning like some lovestruck idiot but spot just looked so beautiful illuminated by the setting sun.

He clambered onto the crate with much less grace then he thought he'd have. The other didn't acknowledge him until he was sat down and settled.

"Didn't think you's comin' back" he sounded disinterested and unaffected, but when you've known him as long as Race, loved him as long as Race has, you'd know how to see past that. You'd see the way he furrowed his eyebrows and crossed his arms a little too tightly over his middle.

Race smiled softly "guess I missed ya too much," he said, bumping spot with his shoulder.

Spot scooted away and Race tried not to feel hurt. He didn't say anything so Race took the time to examine his face. Jack was right, he looked exhausted.

"Have ya slept at all since I left?" He asked softly, inching closer. Spot didn't move away.

"What's it to ya?" He sneered and Race flinched.

"I care bout ya, spotty, and I's worried," he said softly.

"If ya cared ya wouldn'ta left" for once he let some emotion slip into his voice and Race wished he would stay disinterested. He sounded tired and betrayed, and it tugged something awful at the taller boy's heartstrings.

"I left cause I care" he insisted, grabbing the shorter boy's hand "I's- I's scared, Spotty. I's scared theys gonna hurt ya. I's scared they's gonna drag ya off to tha refuge an it'll be all cause I couldn't keep myself in check cause Jesus spotty, ya make me feel things that are fucking scary"

Spot watched him intently as he rambled and Race knew he was squeezing the life out of his hand with anxiety. The so-called king just shook his head and smiled softly, interlacing their hands.

"They ain't getting no king to no refuge, Racer," he said, bumping Race with his shoulder "gimme some credit"

Race just laid his head on Spot's shoulder and turned into his neck. "I just don't wanna lose ya"

Spot scoffed, but laid his head on top of his, kissing the top of his head "Ya ain't gonna lose me, Racer, I promise"

Race kissed the underside of his jaw "I love you, Sean"

"I love you too, Tony."

After of beat of silence Race still had a question. "Hey, how come Spades never ratted on us? Ya' said she wouldn't from the beginning even though you's the most important boy in Brooklyn," he finally pulled his head up and looked Spot in the eye, tilting his head in confusion.

Spot snorted "cause I's seen her bring home more girls then any a' my boys" Race went red and muttered an "oh" cause, of course, he freaked out and ran for no good reason, but Spot just kissed the side of his head and continued, "But she's real pissed at us, says she lost a bet cause we's didn't wait long enough" he said, amusement dancing in his brown eyes.

"They's makin' bets on us?" he asked with a raised eyebrow and only a little bit of fear.

"Guess we ain't as subtle as we's thought" he shrugged.

Race just smiled and pressed a sloppy kiss to his cheek "course we's is, I love ya so much they's could just feel it"

Spot snorted again and shoved his face away, scrubbing at his now wet cheek "gross, you's getting sappy on me"

Race held a hand to his heart "I can't believe the love a' my life won't even let me kiss him! It's a crime! Pure crime!"

The sun had set long ago so they sat laughing under a sea of stars. Spot rolled his eyes "That's cause that ain't a real kiss"

Race grinned and waggled his eyebrows "Then show me a real kiss"

And he did, under the cover of darkness, he dragged Race into a bruising kiss that softened once he had proven his point.

As Race tangled his hands in Spot's messy brown hair, he wondered how he could ever give this up.

#newsies #newsies fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #sprace #stari writes #sprace fanfic #a z prompts #prompt

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omg-puddingpie · 6 years

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Fables: Lyla Smith

I was inspired by @emmypess when I recently read her little backstory on her OC Harmony and was struck with nostalgia, considering we go waaaaaay back, in regards to writing and knowing about one another’s characters. I wanted to tackle MORE on my OC Lyla Smith and a BIT more surrounding her reunion with Gren, her first set of quads and so forth. :3

If you’re unsure of something or NEED clarification, please ask because I know not everyone either knows what is going on, who certain characters are and so forth. I’d be happy to explain. Beside this, enjoy. :3

Lyla Smith awoke from her slumber and into an anxiety attack that lasted nearly ten seconds. She touches her chest, feeling her heart rapidly pounding against her chest. It had been a long time since she’s had this feeling; not since the first night she returned to her parent’s land, has Lyla had a difficulty collecting herself.

Reaching for the light, Lyla flips the switch and remains at the edge of the bed, still struggling to gather herself into one neat package. Eyeing the ground, she inhales deeply, exhales and repeats this process for a minute. “Easy girl….” She calmly repeats within her mind. “......You’re alright….you got this...you’re alright….” While this played over and over inside of her mind, Lyla grabs a glass of water sitting upon the nightstand and gulps down the liquid until nothing was left.

The picture still burned in her mind-the very thing that caused Lyla to awake in such a method that was nearly tamed with what she thought, was months of progress. Lyla fights back the urge to cry. “Why now….” She whispers the questions, still sitting on the edge of the bed. “....Why the fuck are you back? Just go away!”

There he was again: the dashing smile, his golden skin, touched lightly with the many scars he accumulated over the centuries; Lyla could even remember how they felt beneath her fingers, as the pair made love or embraced one another. She could still smell his intoxicating aroma, a mix of Old Spice, cigarettes and his own personal odor. Lyla shakes her head; she swore to herself love was a trick played on the mind and soul and it was a foolish feeling to even dare to understand. This was nothing meant for the young woman; after all, her life was consumed with tales of her days as a private assassin and spy for the Fable community, not to mention her childhood under the eyes of her proud Werewolf father and grand Witch mother. What would Lyla need with love and all the complications it trailed behind it?

Yet there she was, finally catching her breath and holding back tears, thinking of him.

“Fuck you, Grendel….” Lyla falls forward and allows the tears to fall. “....Fuck you and all these thoughts and feelings you left me with…..”

Lyla lifts herself up from the bed, places the glass back onto the nightstand and heads for her bathroom. Perhaps a hot shower would clear her thoughts and she’d return to her peaceful slumber. This was supposed to be her time, away from Grendel but the bastard still wormed his way into them. It was worse during the day….

As she turns the water on to warm itself to the perfect temperature, Lyla carefully removes her clothing. Lyla looks deep into the mirror, her eyes currently focused onto the reflection of her naked body. Last time she’d seen Grendel, the year was 1977. Times were indeed changing; Disco was silently coming to an end, the mundane life as they knew it was coming into a whole new era and Lyla’s centuries of being an assassin was coming to a close. She and Gren had been partners for centuries; the duo were highly sought after, which also meant larger targets nailed to their backs. Lyla had stories for years to come, regarding her career choice. She could still recall all their missions, as if they took place just hours ago.

Lyla inches closer to the mirror and peers longer at herself. She recalled the news of their removal from the business. Times were changing. There was no need for their services; Lyla was never given the entire details of their departure but rumor had it, Gren was responsible for the final nail in the coffin. Guess the community didn’t like how the pair played out their plans for handling the trouble at hand. Did it matter, Lyla always thought. It was being taken care of, lives were being saved and yet here they were, held on trial because the community was sensitive and didn’t like how it was played out. The problem was removed and yet, there they were, now at the chopping block and all fingers pointed at them. Lyla heard Gren took the blame and when the final paperwork was stamped, sealed and sent off, it was he who would take all the blame.

Lyla remembers being outraged and resentful when she discovered Gren refused to fight and take back what they had built for so long. His excuse? Not only was it dangerous but wasn’t it time the pair stepped down and thought about their life together?

A life together? Lyla relives the moment Grendel was crushed when it seemed humorous at the mere thought of THEM being a couple; he’d been trying since the early 1600’s and yet here she was, still digging her own damn stubborn heels into the sand. But Gren NEVER gave up and stuck by Lyla’s side. He remained loyal to Lyla, even when their moments of passions were just attempts to scratch an itch. Lyla refused this idea of love and pushed Gren away. She could still see the pain brewing within his eyes and the devastation cracking in his voice. At the time, Lyla was fuming and could only think of her own needs but now, as the water pours along her naked body, Lyla begins to feel just what Gren was anticipating all those years ago.

Gren tried to contact Lyla after that eventful day and made the effort to visit her apartment but Lyla refused to acknowledge Gren and soon, he too stepped back and gave the woman all the time she needed. But at this time, Lyla could care less; she found employment at a strip club called the Pudding ‘N’ Pie and ‘love’ with the club owner, a man by the name of Georgie Porgie. Despite his ruthless behavior and piggish manners, Lyla was frantically looking for an excuse to push the memory of Gren out of her thoughts and dreams. Georgie was a band-aid, her choice of poison and an excuse to ‘feel’ something. She and Georgie would make love almost every night but this was nothing compared to the raw and passionate encounter she endured with Gren. To her, that WAS the beginning of her love for him...

Despite this, however, Gren STILL managed to find Lyla’s location and secretly, Lyla was relieved of this. It was almost like her past life was still alive and all those bottled up emotions and feelings resurfaced, when Gren made himself known. He despised seeing Lyla in such a fashion but if this meant spending time with his beloved, so be it. Almost every night, Gren shelled out the cash needed to spend an hours worth with her. Sometime the pair would simply talk, other time they found themselves entwined with one another, basking in the ominous glow of the club. Gren always did his best to bring Lyla back; several times he let an ‘I love you’ slip out and every time, Lyla became numb and refused to speak.

One week, he managed to spend close to $5,000 dollars alone, just to hold Lyla in his arms. She never questioned where Gren got the money, nor did she ever question who it was that let it slip of her current location. Lyla was simply enjoying time with an old friend; towards the end, however, Georgie made it difficult for Gren to pay and spend his hour alone with Lyla. There was always an excuse.

Eventually, it became clear why Georgie was making everyone’s life a living hell but that was a bridge Lyla refused to cross. It was challenging to picture that moment in her life, especially reliving the final moments of her time spent with the club owner.

By now, Georgie refused to allow Gren access into the club and the stories Lyla held onto from various others who spoke to the man, where the mere things keeping her going those days. It was heartbreaking to know he spent his time at the Trip Trap, a bar ran by a Troll named Holly; Lyla had no trouble with the woman, however, Holly was not a fan of Lyla’s and thought Gren was wasting his time and emotions, on a woman made of Stone. Gren was wasting away in Margaritaville, as they say and rarely spoke to any of his old friends. It was as if he, too, was attempting to forget the past. Why remember? Lyla sure as hell wasn’t. Rumor also had it, however, Gren kept a single photo of Lyla in his pant pocket and was often caught speaking to it. According to another story Lyla heard, Gren beat a man to a bloody pulp, when he made a sexual comment regarding the ‘hot piece of ass’ in the picture. Lyla hears that man lost all ability in his right leg.

Georgie became a ticking time bomb and it made Lyla uneasy. There was a heavy feeling of uncertainty in the air and soon, some of the dancers went missing and presumed either dead or a lost cause. Lyla knew times were once again changing and soon, she found herself pregnant with Georgie’s babies. At first, Lyla refused to speak about her current situation, that is until Vivian, the club’s hostess and Georgie’s current ‘girl’ found the five discarded pregnancy tests in the trash. Lyla was expecting the blonde woman to be furious but she was stunned when Vivian showed sympathy and concern for the woman’s well being.

Lyla recalls Vivian repeating over and over ‘You have to leave...you can’t be here. You have to leave….’ During this, Vivian begins packing various suitcases and calls Georgie into the room. Lyla was startled by these actions. This was it: Georgie was going to handle the situation and she’d be tossed out into the streets like yesterday’s trash but when it was revealed she was indeed pregnant with HIS baby, Georgie was mixed with fear and contentment. Just like Vivian, he packed all he could of Lyla’s belongings and hands the woman $25,000 dollars.

By now, he was crying. “Yo gotta leave, love. Now!”

“Georgie, WHAT the fuck is going on?! What is-”

“There is NO time to explain, Lyla. Ya’ can’t BE here right now….not with a baby inside of ya’, growin’ away like that. I won’t let ‘em take ya’, not like this….ya’ need ta’ leave this place. Go ta’ ya’ folks if ya’ have ta’ but LEAVE and don’t look back….”

Lyla reminisces about the time she received the word of Georgie’s demise and all the skeletons he had hidden away in his closet. He, along with a group of Fables and the Crooked Man, were responsible for so many lives demolished slowly over time. By now, she had given birth to quads-three girls and one boy-and remained hidden away from prying eyes. Lyla moved into her parent’s manor and raised her children.

She’d come to terms as to why she left but that wouldn’t be the very thing keeping her awake at night; even after the quads were born, Lyla was still haunted by the very person she refused to let in: Grendel. Last she heard, he was still roaming the mean streets of New York, looking for any reason to even go on with his pathetic life.

Lyla, standing naked in her bathroom, gives into her emotions and allows the tears to fall.

“Gren….I’m so sorry….” Lyla leans against the wall. “....I’m so sorry….I’m so sorry…..”

There was a tapping on her door. “Lyla, sweetie….are you okay?” It was her mother. “I heard the water running and I wanted to make sure you’re alright.”

Lyla furiously wipes away her tears. “Yeah, I’m fine mom.” Such a damn lie, she thought. “I just….couldn’t sleep.”

There was a pause before her mother spoke. “You need me to come in or-”

“No, mom...I’m fine. Really….I just couldn’t sleep.”

“I just want to make sure you’re okay, Lyla.” There was the typical mom concern in her voice. “Last time you did this, you had a dream about Gren and-”

“Mom….please.” Lyla grinds her teeth, continuing to fight the tears. “.....Please….stop. I’m...fine….”

There was a silence between the women. Lyla already knew her mother had figured out the truth. After all, the damn woman WAS a grand Witch and had a nasty habit of taking sneak peeks into the lives of others. Her mother had the audacity to reveal her true love to Lyla, who simply laughed at this. Something about the red string of fate? Lyla chuckled every time, that is, until recently

“I’m making tea, sweetie, if you’d like to join me downstairs. Perhaps, you’d like to talk?”

“Mom, I-”

“Keeping things locked away can only be done for so long, Lyla. Eventually, they surface and you have no choice BUT to face them. You’re too much like your father, yes but also know, I’m in there and you as your own person is as well. You can’t keep holding onto to the past, Lyla. You have to forgive, love yourself and move forward. There is no shame in love, sweetie...It hurts, this much is true but it’s also the most wonderful feeling you’ll ever have and knowing another loves you in return, right down to the very core of your soul, can truly change you as a whole. Come downstairs if you’d like. I’ll be on the porch, sitting in the swing, should you change your mind.”

Lyla remains hush, now processing everything. She slowly dresses, inches out the bathroom and down the stairs. All she could think about were her children and Gren. There he was again: Gren, Gren and more Gren. Where was he at, she wondered. Would Holly know? Would she even REVEAL Gren’s location?

Lyla fond her mother, as promised, sitting on the swing located on the porch. In her hands, two cups of hot tea. Lyla chuckles to herself. The damn woman knew her too well sometimes. Nancy places her cup on a table beside the swing and pats the open spot beside her.

“Now, are we ready to talk?”

Lyla beams, takes her cup of tea and sits. Sighing heavily and looking into the night sky, Lyla begins to speak.

“Mom, do you know where Gren is?”

“I do.” Nancy smiles while taking a sip of her tea. “As a matter of fact, he was here this morning, looking for YOU…”

#twau oc #twau gren #grendel legacy #twau fanfic #grendel #ocs

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miss-bookworm · 6 years

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Top 3 fanfics that you've ever read, like really moved you or inspired you? Xx

Nonnie, this is possibly the hardest question I was everasked. How can I just pick three fics when there are so many talented peoplewho write the most amazing fics that make me cry and laugh and just feel all these different emotions? But you asked, so I’ll try to deliver. Ialready feel so bad for all the great fics that I won’t mention but just blamethis nonnie, they asked for only three. Also, this might get a bit long, so sorry in advance.

I’ll start with Rumours written by the brilliant Jen @beautifulhigh. Thisfic really made me an emotional mess and there were quite a few moments where Iactually had to stop reading and just cry for a while because they hit me sohard. Jen managed to create this complex and layered verse and I love all thehistory and connections and how through the fic we explore not only Robron’sepic love story but also what it means to be a div. I expected this story tobe quite angsty but Jen still managed to surprise me with directions shetook with the story and this is gonna sound so cheesy, but I’m really gratefulI live in a world where this fic exists.

The second one is a fic that I always reread whenever I’m ina bad mood or feeling poorly. It just always makes me feel better and I just lovethe story and how it’s written. That’s safe in your arms by Lorna @capseycartwright. I meananything that Lorna writes is brilliant and she can make you cry and laugh and really feel for her characters and what they’re going through but thisone is truly special to me. I just really enjoy how Robert and Aaron work inthis verse and how their relationship develops.

And the third one is a fic that always makes me smileand it’s the most perfect combination of fluffy, sexy and funny moments. It’s Ice Swans and Dry-cleaning. I just really enjoy how it’s written and also, you gotta appreciate the fact that this was written beforethey broke up and that they guy Robert is (a little) jealous of is called Alex.Oh, if only we knew then!

And because I can’t actually follow the rules and just writewhat I was asked I’m gonna write 7 fics more. I mean top 10 sounds better thantop 3, am I right? Sorry nonnie.

I mean when it comes to fics that moved me I can’t not mention We’ll Meet Again by Nicole @littlelooneyluna. This fic made me a mess after just a few paragraphs. I love the setting of this fic and how it goes back and forthbetween the past and the present. Nicole is great with that and I love all the different subjects that she tackles with this story (dementia, homophobia etc.)

And I adore Love Never Fails by Vix @nooneelsecomesclose17. This one is also set in a war verse, this time World War I. I love how layered it is and how their relationship develops and how invested I got into supporting characters as well. Also, that twist. No matter how many times I reread it, it still punches me right in the feels (in the best possible way of course).

Next one was written during the time when Robert and Aaronwere broken up and the canon was a mess and I still had no idea how to feelabout Robert becoming a dad. And then Laura @victoriasugden wrote To every thing there is aseason which still remains my favourite dad!Robert fic. I love the concept and the journey Robert goes during the fic. Only now Ipicture Elliot as Seb but I’m sure Laura wouldn’t mind.

And the another fic written ed big bang (which was a blessing and I’m already looking forward to this year’s fics and art). This one is Forged In Fire by Amelia @escapingreality51. I adore everything Amelia writesbut this one is definitely my favourite. I feel like there is a lot ofpotential in exploring Robert’s feelings towards fire and since the show isn’t doing that, I’m thankful we have someone like Amelia that does that in herstory. Also, Aaron as a fireman is something that totally works and I’ll always remember how excited I was by that first scene when Robert sees Aaron running in the snow. What a great image!

Another fic that was written right after their break.It’s Vic’s back to you (it always comes around) @vckaarrob. This is the fic that I reread the mostduring the break up era, especially on days when we weren’t getting any robroncontent and we were hoping so much for an ex sex to happen. It didn’t and they’re finally back together but I stilllove rereading this one.

Last but not least is a fic that explores one of myfavourite relationships on the show. That’s they are memories and moments byMlorie @robertisbisexual who pretty much killed me with Robert and his feelings for Sarah andthanks to her I can never look at elbow patches in the same way.

I’m so sorry that this got so long but this fandom really isso talented and I’m so thankful to every single person who’s sharing theirwriting with us. These really are just 10 fics that I keep on my phone that I absolutely adore and I really enjoy how they’re written and they definitely don’t leave me cold and disinterested.

#wow this really got long #i can't help myself i love all these fics #fic recs #ask #anonymous #long post

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