#angry lika is angry

[tubboscored]

do you ever think about how wild it is that cranboo met ctubbo after so much terrible shit had already happened to him. how he missed such crucial context that other people in tubbo's live had!! like. he shows up in this country that's been very recently blown to bits by some dead guy everyone refuses to talk about, and the new president is literally just some kid covered in bandages + wearing this suit that looks ridiculously big on him, and ranboo is probably super caught off-guard at first but pretty quickly he gets the idea: this kid's got a funny sense of humor, and he's been horribly messed up by whatever Bad Thing happened here, and sometimes ranboo blinks and the president's eyes have glazed over and he's shouting, commanding this measly broken country with a presence you never thought could exude from such an unimposing little guy. sometimes tubbo gets angry, and yeah ranboo thinks that looks unnerving on him, but it's nowhere near how jarring it probably is for everyone else who remembers the OLD tubbo, tub-in-a-box tubbo, lika-da-bee tubbo, silly fun happy tubbo. he never knew the tubbo before the scars. to ranboo this is, like. just how tubbo is.

#ranboo #tubbo #can you tell nlm-beeduo HAUNTS me #it's also important to note that in cranboo's mind all of this is interspersed with incredible gayness directed at ctubbo btw #obv. cbeeduo in gay love etc etc #bee duo #dsmp #lmanberg #meta #romeoposting

[talesofanautisticwoman]

allistic acting like they know-it-all......

I HATE!!! when allistic/neurotypical people acts like know-it-all about my autism diagnosis and belittles my experiences... and come up with their own "cause", as to why i might be feeling a certain way. And when you tell them off and say 'no it's like this or because of that. It because of ....' they tend to get angry. Sometimes i feel like they try to remove me from my autism diagnosis, like they are two seperate things.

This happen to me today. I opened up on how my autism diagnosis presented? itself at work. My dad tried to say "it might be that way, because those who has been there many years will have more experience". And when my brother started asking about our conversation my dad said "Julie, is worring about how she's acting autistic at work".. and he said it an annoying and kinda lika like a mocking way. I started the job quite recently, like less than a month (i'm an intern). My dad has an outsiders perspective of it, yet he thinks he is right. I notice things like mannerisms, ways of communicating, fatigue etc. I mask quite a lot at work, and try not to let anything autism related slip up. Because they might view me differently if i do so. - Out of my both my of my parents, my dad is def the one who is the least understanding and dismissive about it. I know it's though being a parent, whose child gets diagnosed. It hit's them hard too ya know.

#can allistics please stop.. i'm getting tired #know it all #autistic spectrum #autism #autistic #actually autistic #actuallyautistic #autistic experiences #autistic experience #actually autism #autistic community #asd #high functioning autism #autistic things #autistic adult #neurodivergent #actually neurodivergent #neurodiversity

[blvvdylcve]

BloodLust. Ticci Toby x Fem. Reader. Chapter Five. TRIGGER WARNING AHEAD! MINORS DNI 18+ [Y/N] -> Your Name. [Y/B] -> Your Birthdate. Word count : 5543. MASTERLIST !! - “And do you ever feel like these feelings control you? Like you have no sense of yourself?” You sighed, you had been fiddling with your fingers for as long as you had been in this room now. A stray strand of your hair fell, causing you to focus on it momentarily before focusing on the blur behind the strand. It was Lisa, one of her legs were crossed over one another, her short blonde hair hung loosely just below her ears and her face was wrinkled with age. There was silence, you were unsure on how to answer her questions. 

“[Y/N]?” Lisa spoke, shuffling closer onto her seat and leaning in close to encourage you. You cleared your throat and sat up a little, crossing your arms over your chest now in a way to almost protect yourself from her piercing gaze. “Sometimes.” “Like they define you?” Lisa asked, she looked at you like she could read you, like you were some kind of open book and that made you feel uncomfortable.

“I guess.” You mumbled the reply, you felt so exposed. “And when you feel suicidal, how do you distract yourself?” You scoffed softly and Lisa was intrigued by your response. “I don’t, that’s why I’m here, right? To not end it all?” Your response was snarky but Lisa just smiled, like she had dealt with all kinds of people like you before. It was true, she was a therapist, there were tons of fucking mentally ill people she had spoken to. “You tell me, you got up this morning and now you’re sitting in my chair, in my office. Don’t you think that’s a step in the right direction?” You narrowed your eyes, hating to admit that maybe she was right so you shuffled in your chair and averted your gaze away from her own. You glanced at the clock on the wall. 10 AM. Your appointment would be over soon, you sighed and adjusted yourself once again on the chair. Her office wasn’t exactly welcoming but at least the chairs were comfortable, that’s all that mattered. The walls were gray, she had a bookshelf in the far right corner by the door and her diplomas hung on the wall. They were for sure collecting dust at this point, maybe if you looked hard enough you could see the small collections. You sighed, another fifteen minutes of this fucking interrogation. “When you sit here in my office, do you ever think about suicide? Like here, right now?” Lika was assessing you, there was a notepad on her knee and a pen between her fingers like a cigarette. She wore smart clothing, almost like a suit but with a bit more style. She had money, that was for fucking sure, especially with the amount your parents were throwing at her. “Not particularly,” you mumbled. “Only when I’m alone.” “You’re in medical school, aren’t you?” You rolled your eyes, your parents' most proudest achievement was sitting here. “Yeah.” “That’s a big responsibility.” “Yeah, no fucking shit, Lisa,” you snapped back, you didn’t mean to but you didn’t come here to talk about school. You came here for a fic, a cure maybe, you didn’t fucking know but you wanted to feel better and that was a good thing, right? Why couldn’t Lisa actually say something that made you not want to slit your wrists? Your gaze flickered to the clock and without much warning, you stood and picked up your backpack. It was a little heavy, full of books that made your back ache for fucking weeks on end. Lisa sighed and removed the glasses that perched on the end of her nose, like a proper fucking shrink and set them down on the coffee table, along with her pen and notebook. She stood, pressing the crease out of her so expensive pants before giving you a concerned look, her brows knitting together and expressing her wrinkles even more.

“You can’t let time heal you,” she called out. “It’s on you. Being angry at the world and the people trying to help you will not solve your problems. I know you’re angry, I know, but find some peace within yourself.” You waved a hand dismissively over your shoulder as you tugged your backpack on. “See you next time, Lisa.” You could hear her sigh but before she could open her mouth, you were out her door and out into the sunshine. — It had been awhile since you last saw Lisa and the guilt was eating away at you knowing that the only reason you were truly going to see her was to send her to her demise. You were selfish, you had admitted that now and whatever happens to Lisa wasn’t going to sit on your shoulders your whole life. Shit happens. It was late, the sound of traffic heard outside your window as the soft light of the tv hit your face. You were watching tv but now you were snoring softly on the couch, a blanket draped over your frame. It wasn’t every night you found yourself dozing on the couch, but the past couple of days and the lack of sleep, you needed to rest your eyes. Your head fell, jerking you awake a little but soon you felt the lull of sleep wash over you like a soothing wave. Two weeks, two weeks. Maybe you should just sleep with that guy for some extra time? No, what were you, a slut? Your eyebrows crinkled, couldn’t your thoughts just shut up while you tried to rest?

There was a loud bang at your door, it was short and abrupt but woke you up within seconds. You blinked, unsure whether it was a knock at your door or just the neighbor next door accidentally bumping the wall but then it happened again. You raised a hand to rub your eyes before pushing the blanket off your frame and approached the door. Maybe it was Mom? It would make sense, you’d practically gone missing on her again and Lisa probably told her you’d reached out for a session. Turning the handle, you swung the door open, sleep stricken across your face. The light was bright outside the hall of your apartment but whoever was previously knocking at your door came in like a blur, pushing past you which caused you to bump into the wall. A little starstruck, you blinked and focused on the figure that was now making himself comfortable on your couch. In a flurry of anger and confusion, you quickly stepped back into the living room, leaving the door open just a fraction. “What the fuck?” you mumbled to yourself. It was Toby and he was sitting on your couch with his feet up on your coffee table?! This wasn’t like him at all. “L-L-Love this f-film!” he exclaimed with a smile. The gauze that used to be on his cheek was gone, exposing a scar that started at the corner of his lips. It looked gnarly but it was healed. It exposed all his back teeth, making you furrow your brows. Who and what the fuck could’ve caused that?

“Hey, do you mind?!” you approached with a hand on your hip and he glanced at you before glancing at the bandages around your arm. “Y-Y-You tried to k-kill yourself?” Now you were very taken aback and a little embarrassed admittedly, causing you to push the bandaged arm behind your back. “W–What?” Now you were stuttering, maybe you were even becoming a little flustered. He smirked. “No? What? This?” you motioned to your arm. “I got attacked.” He didn’t even seem surprised, he just shrugged his shoulders and shot his gaze back to the tv on the opposite side of the room. “I-I know,” he spoke as casual as casual could get. “What?” Your heart fluttered. “Y-Y-eah, I-I-I- I attacked y-you,” he spoke nonchalantly and you were frozen in shock. Toby? Toby killed Anne? Toby attacked you?! Kidnapped you?! You wanted to punch him, your fists curled. He wasn’t wearing the mask but the brown tufts of hair were the same messy kind, he wore more casual clothing and you felt your face contort in disgust. It made sense, sure, and that’s what pissed you off the most. You scoffed, tempting fate itself as you eyed him up. How would someone even react to this? He was your neighbor and now he was sitting on your couch, just openly admitting that he kidnapped you and did all kinds of other things which could land his ass in prison. You were rubbing your forehead, it had grown stuffy in the room and you exhaled a breath of air to try and ease the tension which was growing. You were afraid, fearful even.

Toby stood at six feet almost, far taller than you and despite his skinny frame, you could see just about the outline of some muscles from underneath his shirt. It was a gray shirt, with Spider-Man on it. Something you would’ve never expected this guy to wear and you purse your lips as the only sound from the tv could be heard from within the room. “T-T-Times t-t-t-ticking..” he said in a tone that made you shiver, a tone that mocked your very existence. You shuffled from one hip to another, placing your hand upon it. Toby’s eyes were hooked on the tv but as you adjusted for a mere moment, his brown eyes flickered over to your frame. It was evident enough that he was looking you up and down, his eyes lingered for a little more on your refined hips more than anything, slowly trailing up to glance at the outline of your breasts before moving his gaze up, finally giving you eye contact. You shivered, feeling uncomfortable as all hell and you shuffled again, pulling at your shirt in an attempt to make yourself feel decent. He was checking you out, that was for sure and you could tell by the look on his face that he was practically undressing you. His eyes were hungry, longing and you felt your heartbeat quicken in.. excitement? No, you didn’t want to feel this way toward him, him of all people and yet now you were. Like you were tempting danger itself and it was the sexiest thing ever.

Were you finding him.. Attractive? Was he here to see if you would take up on that offer to sleep with him? The gaze between you two had finally dismissed when Toby looked away and you could feel your face burning up, clearing your throat momentarily to consider your options. Fuck it. You hadn’t been fucked in awhile, maybe this little fling would be good for you? Fuck, maybe he might even spare your life. “A-A-Am I turning you o-on?” Toby asked, there was a huskiness to his voice as he kept his eyes glued to the screen in front of him. There was some cheesy horror film playing now, an old one that just screamed retro. This all felt a little too familiar. His words burnt at your face as you tried to find some sort of explanation or even something to change the subject at hand, but you were too flustered to even consider your options. A part of you felt disgusted that you were even feeling these kinds of ways for a fucking killer but on another part, you seriously hadn’t been fucked in sooo long.. Shaking your head, you scoffed softly.

“You need to leave, you can’t just walk in here-” You were unable to finish your sentence until Toby jumped up from the couch and approached you at a speed that made you unable to focus on him momentarily and before you knew it, his hand was wrapped around your throat. He wasn’t choking you out, not yet at least as he pushed you back so now you were pinned against the cold wall behind you. You gasped, whimpered, choked for some kind of air however his grip wasn’t tight enough to outright kill you, not just yet anyway. A squeeze, something to remind you of who he was and what you were messing with. A threat. “W-Who are you t-talking to?” Toby asked and there was a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips, which actually made you feel a little repulsed. He was right, who were you talking to? This guy could squeeze the life out of you and you thought you were in control of this situation just because it was your apartment? He lurched forward, causing you to grimace and look away however you could feel his nose just brushing up against your cheek. His breath hit your skin, causing it to ripple in response.

“I’m sorry–!” you choked out but the apology did not seem to satisfy him enough to let go of your neck. He chuckled, causing you to shiver once again. With a shake of his head, he finally released your neck and stepped back. You were hesitant to move, in case that would be the wrong move around someone so unstable.

“So,” he hesitated as he returned back to the couch, sitting back to stretch an arm across the cushions behind him. You were still against the wall, your bottom lip wobbled but you wouldn’t dare cry. Even that felt like a death sentence. Your head hurt, it was pounding and you finally moved after a beat of silence to rub your face. Why was this all happening to you? You? Of all people, you were nothing! Couldn’t he just let you suffer in peace rather than adding to it? “W-Whose on t-the hit list..?” he asked, half eyeing up the tv and then burning back to you occasionally, he seemed bored but you weren’t willing to try and entertain him. Fucking pervert would ask for something else and you knew that. He was right though, you had to get someone killed or pass this curse onto someone else. Toby would argue, for him this was all some kind of fucked up game that he enjoyed greatly. “I have some people in mind..” you mumbled, almost ashamed. “Oh?!” Toby leant forward in interest, resting his elbows on his knees as he let his chin rest on the palm of his hand. You flinched at his sudden interest and you glanced down at the floor, chewing on the inside of your cheek. “W-Well..?! No! D-Don’t t-tell me. I-I’m cheating h-h-here,” he gave a hoarse chuckle. Was he a friend or foe? You were uncertain at this point.

As you glanced up to narrow your eyes at him, there was a shit eating grin across his features. Admittedly, it looked manic, like he was about to pull out a knife and stab you right there and then. You remained with your back against the wall, uncertain what to even say. Was he just conversing with himself or those damned voices in his head? He had to have some for sure. You purse your lips and Toby sat back again, a soft smile across his features that for once made him look approachable.

“W-What am I d-d-doing?” he mumbled softly to himself. “I shouldn’t b-be h-h-here..” he sighed softly and for once, you actually agreed with what came out his fucking mouth. In a swift motion, he jumped up from the couch and approached you to press his fingertips against your chin. “I-I-I’m waiting,” he sent you a wink before withdrawing his hand and stepping over to the door. You had left it open ajar, so his fingers slipped around the frame of the door to peel it open before slipping out the apartment himself. You were in shock and so you remained close to the wall, almost hoping it would outstretch some kind of arms and pull you deep within the foundations of this building. You wanted to hide, to run, to go missing and never come back again but even that seemed pointless. Toby would find you, he was a hunter, a tracker, he wasn’t fucking stupid and you knew that, he knew you knew that and that was what made it worse. Running a trembled hand through your hair, you sighed.

This was a fucking nightmare, a nightmare you so desperately wanted to wake up from. If it brought any confidence, you knew that your appointment with Lisa was tomorrow and despite feeling sick to your bone at the fact that you knew you’d be plaguing her with the worst thing that could possibly happen, it was a relief off your shoulders.

—

Soon enough morning rolled around but you were still not at any kind of ease. The night was the worst in regards to sleep, you barely caught a wink and you spent most the night feeling for the handle of the knife that you kept tucked away between the bedframe and mattress in case someone made the choice to come breaking into your apartment again during the night. Butterflies attacked the lining of your stomach and you’d spent a good fifteen minutes with your head stuck down the toilet, throwing up all your nerves for the upcoming appointment. No amount of words could reassure you, how the fuck was today going to line itself up for you? This wasn’t going to be an easy task and you knew that, you fucking knew that. Not only that, but what fucking envelope were you supposed to give her? Toby was pretty damn vague and you were not about to go knocking on his door to ask.

The very thought did leave you in a trance of pondering the situation as a whole. Firstly, how the hell did he even end up in the same apartment complex as you? Surely his fingertips were all over that damned crime scene that involved beloved Anne. He was right under the cops’ noses! Was he paying rent? And if so, fucking how? Had he done this before, murder someone and how was he not behind bars? It made you feel uneasy, as if the whole thing didn’t already but what made it worse was that it really showed how fucking poor cops are at doing their damned job! Or that Toby was too damned smart, something you very bitterly admitted. Secondly, why did he pick you? You were sure that question would haunt you for the rest of your life, if you actually survived this whole ordeal. What made you special? You narrowed your eyes. The wall was staring back at you as you blinked a couple times to rearrange your thoughts. Were you daydreaming? Shit, what was the time? Leaning over to reach for your phone which was just laying atop the small bedside tabletop, you tapped the screen which caused it to illuminate. 8:30 AM. Getting to Lisa’s office was really not that long of a drive but wasting more time made it feel as if you were asking to be killed at this point. Of course, maybe you should really let it happen, it was only a couple of months ago you were speaking to Lisa about wanting to end your life and now you were fighting so hard for it? Toby would be on the floor, rolling around and laughing if he knew that. Your brows furrowed in disgust. He probably already fucking knew that. Within seconds you were slipping on some clothes, a long sleeved, fluffy hoodie would suffice. It would look so fucking shit with your bandaged arm out on display, not only would Lisa suspect you actually tried to kill yourself, she’d get your parents involved and right now, you were on the breaking point and having to face them would fucking send you.

Gathering your keys, your bag with what little money you had left scattered in the lining, you pulled on some socks and then your shoes. Maybe actually leaving your apartment would do good for you, to get some fresh air. As you exhaled a shaky breath, you furrowed your brows and approached the front door. Just as you reached out for the handle, you stepped on something below which gave a small crunching sound and immediately you backed away from the door to glance down below. And of course, there it was. That brown envelope, staring into your soul and making you freeze. You didn’t have to tell Toby anything, he knew, it was like he had ears in the wall, like he tapped himself into your phone or put some kind of tracking device on you. As anger lashed out within you, you couldn’t help but feel some kind of.. relief. You were going to Lisa empty handed and that was not part of the game so despite your anger, frustration and nausea that was suddenly slapping itself at your face, you were somewhat thankful. Thankful that Toby had considered making that part of your life easier. Bending down just for a moment to pick it up, the paper was smooth against your fingertips and just before you went to tug it under your arm, it rattled, like something was inside it. A small object that clearly didn’t fit the size of the envelope itself and now curiosity was eating away at you. Were there rules to this game? You had no idea, Toby had been so damned vague about it all and even when you did ask, he wouldn't answer, he would avoid the questions because it was funny to leave you trembling at the thought of whether you were doing something right or wrong. Slowly, your fingertips grazed against the opening of the envelope, the urge to push your index finger under the small gap and rip it open was consuming you, but you would resist. If opening a letter that was meant for his next victim got you killed, then he’d be pissing all over your grave for as long as he lived, if you could even consider his life and lifestyle as living. As you stepped outside the complex, you felt the occasional raindrop fall down and beat you softly on the forehead and face, making haste in dampening your hair. It was typical weather for this dysfunctional city, the rain cloud loomed and never felt the urge to leave, leaving everyone who lived here a depressed feeling that ate away at their very being. And despite it all, you didn’t mind. When your life was on the line, each day being a constant reminder of what lingered in your future, you began to appreciate the small little things. Like fucking rain. The car journey to Lisa’s didn’t take long but then again, you didn’t expect it to either. As you pulled into the car park, it was relatively full. It was like the more you looked, the more you could pickout the difference between the shrinks and patients. Well, flashy cars and run down, rusted metal on wheels. It was obvious who was earning a good amount of money and who was wasting it on.. Well, whatever you considered this shit as. You lingered behind the wheel, the hum of the engine no longer providing you much company as you watched each raindrop fall onto your windshield and trickle down, a race with many other raindrops that did that same thing.

Your mind lingered as the silence consumed you, what were you going to do? What did Toby put in this envelope? How were you going to give this to Lisa and what if she opened it and there was some kind of threat inside? What the hell would you do? She’d send you off to the nearest mental ward and right now, you were so desperately trying to convince yourself that you were okay. Of course, you needed to convince Lisa too but it wasn’t your top priority as she’d end up.. No. You furrowed your brows, just stop thinking and ride out whatever shit storm was coming to you. Stepping out and locking the car securely behind you, you headed toward the building. It, surprisingly, was a pretty small building. With doors that opened automatically once triggered by motion, some windows just besides the doors and another three windows above the door. The building wasn’t painted any particular color, due to the fact that it had its original brick out on display. It was a building you were all too familiar with considering the amount of times you walked up to its doors and glanced untoward each time.

You wondered, did Lisa do the same? Upon entering, you glanced around at the familiarity of it all. Has it really been that long since you last came here? The place actually looked happy, like they made a shitty attempt at putting up motivational posters about how amazing life is and was that a fucking rainbow painted on the wall? You blinked, this was the same building or had this suddenly turned into a children's hospice? To your left was the reception, it was covered by glass, almost like they were trying to protect the person who sat behind it. It wasn’t the same person you recognised so now you were really starting to doubt yourself, had you driven to the wrong place? In front of you was a long corridor with a collection of doors on each side, to your right was the usual waiting area. The uncomfortable ass chairs, the old magazines that had probably been there since 2010. With a soft sigh, you had spun on your heel to turn toward the small receptionist who was tucked away behind the glass panel. Behind her was a white wall along with a white door, it oddly enough gave you some insane asylum vibes. “Uhm, hey,” you started, clearing your throat and forcing a somewhat pained smile. “I’m-” “I know who you are, you fucking murderer. How could you, your own therapist? You know Lisa has cancer right, she has cancer and she’s going to fucking die.” You blinked, mouth hanging open agape in complete and utter shock. It felt as if you were going to drop dead on the spot, feeling all the blood in your body rush down and away from your face. Blinking again, the woman behind the counter gave you a friendly smile.

“Your name and age? I’ll need your birthdate too, sweetie.” You were dumbfounded, motionless in shock. Did she actually say that or were you making it up? Did she really know you were plotting and planning to kill Lisa? You anxiously wiped away some sweat from your upper brow. “Um..” The woman in front of you was middle aged and plump, wrinkles adorning her face but she cherished a welcoming smile. Her cheeks were red and rosy. It reminded you a little bit like a gnome. Her hair was still stuck in that 80s styled bob, swept in different ways but it suited her. “You okay, darling? You look so pale,” she noted. You let out a soft, whimpered laugh before shaking your head.

“Oh, yeah, I’m okay. Uh, my name is [Y/N] and my birthday is [Y/B].” The woman let out a content hum in approval to this information, clicking away at the mouse and staring intently at the computer screen in front of her. You shuffled, avoiding staring at her too much in case she somehow caught onto your plan. Every now and again your gaze would flicker to her and you caught sight of her name badge that hung proudly just above her right breast. It was white with a little blue outline. It read ‘Mary.’ Cute. Maybe you should just pass the envelope to her and be on your merry way. “Lisa is just down the hall, the door with number seven on it.” You already knew that but smiled at the information and gave her a soft nod of appreciation before turning and making your way to the door. It seemed that each step you took, the corridor would become longer and longer. Were you sweating? Because you felt sticky and hot, even your vision became a blur around you. As your gaze brushed up on each number on each door you walked past, you finally found yourself stopping at number seven. You felt dizzy, you wanted so desperately to turn around and run out those doors. Those fancy, fucking white doors. Before you could compose yourself and reach for the handle, Lisa opened the door with a warm smile. It had been a couple of months since you last saw her. She looked frail, weak, older and yet she still dressed in her fancy attire for work. Her smile was warm, inviting and yet it flooded your very being with guilt. Your mouth began to water. Don’t throw up, don’t fucking throw up.. Were the only words repeating in your head. “[Y/N]!” She exclaimed, outstretching her arms to wrap them around you into a soft embrace. There, as you invited the hug, you could feel each bone protruding out from under her clothing. Was she actually sick? Or had it been that long? “Lisa,” you croaked out as you began to wiggle out of her grip, forcing an uncertain smile across your face. However, Lisa did not return the smile, she had a glazed look of worry plastered across her face. You were confused.

“Now, I know you didn’t agree to doing this today and I would’ve told you over the phone but I feel this would be really good for you to reach out to people.” Her words were not comforting ones as you turned your head slightly and gave her a worried look. She rested a hand on your shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. “Don’t worry, I’ll introduce you to them.” With that, she stepped aside and pulled the door open wider for you to peer in. It was her usual room, that was for sure, however now there was an array of chairs spaced out to form a circle. Roughly seven chairs in total, all having someone sat in each one apart from two of which you only assumed was for yourself and Lisa. Was this a fucking group session? No, no, this couldn’t be happening.

You wanted to turn and dart but you felt stuck, unable to move as you assessed in person in each chair. You started with the chair closest to you, a young woman who was so painfully skinny that each bone protruded out from under her skin, she barely looked alive. Then next to her, a rather large man who was bald and had his arms crossed tightly over his chest, his face cold as you glanced over at him, he looked middle aged. To your right, another guy who looked mid-thirties, his eyes heavy as he avoided your gaze and then next to him, another guy, he looked terminally ill. What the fuck have you walked into? Of course, the chair next to the guy who looked terminally ill was free for you, another chair in the middle for Lisa and then you turned to the other chair and your heart fell. You nearly began stumbling back and away from the room altogether. There he sat, reserved, with his arms close to his body and his chin tucked close to his chest. That familiar brown hair, the messy kind that struck out to you the most. He was pale, his cheeks a little sunken and next to his mouth was a gauze. You began to shake your head, wanting to fight, scream and yell but instead left standing there, unable to even utter a whisper. Toby looked up toward the door and his eyes met yours and there it was, that smirk that made you feel sick. Your chest ached, the urge to throw up and heave becoming more and more apparent. He was mocking you and you just knew, you knew by the look in his eyes that he was laughing deep down. “Everyone,” Lisa began, catching their attention and causing now all eyes to be on you. “This is [Y/N]. Could you all please introduce yourselves?” “I fucking have to?! What’s the point,” the bald man spat, causing you to recoil further away from the entrance of the room. Lisa shot him a disapproving but gentle look, the smile still etched in her features. “The point is so we can all help each other.” The man's face was red with rage and he huffed, not wanting to start an argument in front of everyone. After a beat of silence, he spoke up again, his voice gruff. “Andrew.” You crept forward, forcing such a crooked smile you were thankful Andrew wasn’t looking otherwise he probably would’ve punched you. The woman next to him gave you a soft look, a sympathetic one and smiled. “Lily.” She spoke in almost a whisper. You turned your head to the other guys. “Dave.” The guy in his mid thirties spoke. “I’m Erin.” Spoke the guy that looked so fucking sick. You nodded and then everyone shifted their gaze over to the figure sitting in the back. “I’m Toby, n-n-nice to me-.. Meet you, [Y/N].”

#creepypasta #creepypasta fandom #ticci toby #toby rogers #fanfic #xreader #ticci toby x reader

[panie-wanie-dean-bean]

Oh noes i hav 2 separate cult au thoughts if i may throw my pennies into the hat, panie 🥺

The first thought is wondering how hungry for power/favoritism cult au Jack would be. I mean with his history as the golden boy of the circus, and manipulating Rory for his own gains since they were young (to give him a new loving home ofc), whats to stop him from doing his best to climb the ranks of the cult harem?

It can't be too hard, just being his kind attentive self, doing what he's told, being an excellent leader (and giving the best dick out of all 9 of them), of course their great leader calls upon him more often than not. Sure it starts with nightly trysts, and asking his opinion on new programs to implement, but...being a leader is so stressful afterall. The MC went their whole lives thinking they were human, and now have all of these duties and expectations.

He wouldn't mind if they vented to him sometimes, asked for his thoughts on their decisions when they doubt themselves, having a shoulder to cry on when they're at their lowest and are feeling vulnerable. He's privy to all their secret desires and insecurities, they've told them as much whether they're leaning on his shoulder, or he's thrusting between their legs as they cling to him. groaning and mumbling how much he's "their favorite" and "if he'd ever want to run away just the two of them, they'd go with him ina heartbeat" through panting breath, running their hands through his hair.

During their pillow talk, maybe the boys pop up in conversation on occasion, Joseph looks so lonely, and he takes such good care of Rory... would it be so hard to ask him if he would spend some time with him? He practically idolizes Jack, and the MC would love it if he tried to be a really good friend to him on occasion, like he is for them~ and they'd be more than happy to reward him for doing such a good job

Maybe they ask him for more favors, just how far is he willing to go to please them?

and what would he do if he ever finds out that MC has done the same with the other boys in a different capacity? (Ik the wise choice of action would be to ask that maybe MC went through the same song and dance with the other boys, told Ian, Nick, Shaun, or Jean that they loved them the most and would run away with them ina heartbeat if they ever got the chance, and how angry/hot that'd probably make Jack)

but in all honesty Im way off topic and just thinkin ofa normal MC havin a bad day, and cuddling with Bo, and kissin his lil snoot and tell him that they're gonna pack him with a bunch of candy and money in a suitcase and run away from their adult Job, and they'd live near a beach lika hermit with their puppy.. before just getting up and going to work the next day, cult au or not.

I mean he's a boyfriend but a pet dog actually, but a boyfriend, and every family dog has to hear either the running away speech, or our rants about a tv show and how we'd write it better while they chew on something on the couch, not caring.

Hey, what? What the fuck, you just waltz in here, say the sexiest most correct shit ever and then just leave? How dare, I wish to kiss you on the mouth. The only thing I disagree with is how often Jack and y/n can be together. Jack's teaching full time and has to practice acts and lines with his friends for their show once summer break hits. He's not absent per say but spending a lot of time with him is rough, for me at least, if you're cool with kids then y'all can hang a lot more often. He does make time for you obvi but he's a busy body and doesn't feel comfortable taking a real break, a habit you might just have to shake him out of

#whispers of an angry god #cult town au #sdj Jack #sdj Bo

[the-acid-pear]

im always like pffft trauma cant reach me im over that shit im only angry and i know how to direct my emotions to the source and then i come to this website shaking like a wet dog lika rrare you guys mad at mee,,, :(

#luly talks #always ripping my hair off bc i feel like im failing at everything but i have NO reason to believe so bc no one has ever told me so #which means im doubly failing im failing at fixing what im failing at #i live with the fear of it all coming crashing down in me siiiigh #who will put me down? who will be the lucky follower who steps in and puts me down?

[lullabyes22-blog]

How would Lika feel about how her daughters turned out, especially if she found out about one of them having Silco of all people as their father figure?

(BTW I am absolutely immerses with FnF and your writing style is mesmerizing. So much, it motivates me to pick up on reading more literature. ❤ ❤ ❤)

Thank you so much T_T It makes me so happy to know the story is a motivator - and such lovely comments motivate me in turn to keep writing<333

As for Lika: I think she'd be unbearably sad - for Vi, Powder, and Silco himself.

She had nothing against Silco despite the friction between them - and in fact respected that under that abrasive tongue was a tender heart. She also had all the hopes in the world for her girls, and knew they'd grow up to achieve great things.

The idea that they'd been split up - one thrown in prison, the other driven nearly batshit - would break her heart. She'd be equally sad over their inability to reconcile and be a family.

She'd have mixed feelings over how they are now. Jinx, for all her monstrosity, is super talented and freed Zaun, after all. Likewise, Vi takes absolutely no shit and is a prodigy as a boxer, despite her temper.

I think she'd probably love them all the same. But she would see Silco's adoption of Powder as kidnapping (the girl was only orphaned because he planned to kill her family - and her too.) Likewise she'd be angry at his plans against Vi, who just wants to be with her sister.

"You need to leave my daughters alone, Silco," would be her succinct message.

#asks #arcane #arcane league of legends #arcane silco #silco #arcane jinx #jinx #arcane vi #vi #forward (never forget)/xoxo #saya

[kaddyssammlung]

Hey, I'm begging you to stay My dark side won today My heart keeps breaking Over and over Hey, don't let me out your sight Can't trust myself tonight My heart keeps breaking Can you talk me off the ledge again?

Bring Me The Horizon - Darkside

My fellow addict Oli Sykes says it best sometimes.

I just found a strange article about him and he...what?! I had no idea. He even read the Bhagavad Gita?! Jésus that dude seems to crave enlightenment as much as I do. I'm not totally imagining him and Vessel talking about books like ”A course in miracles” and other stuff like that when they tour together. Maybe he just thinks that he finds more answers in Hinduism? Idk. Or that it's cool to learn about that. Whatever broadens your horizon.

Not what I wanted to talk about.

TW from here on: SH, ED and trauma

A video showed up in my suggestions on YouTube yesterday and I watched it. It hit home in a very strange way. It was not bad or anything it just idk. It was Gabor Maté talking about how Childhood Trauma leads to addiction. I just put it in here if someone is interested in watching it.

It's that sentence that destroyed me “when there is stress and trauma these endorphin systems don't develop and then when people do h*roin it feels lika a warm soft hug to them. They feel love and connection for the first time”. Yes....I can confirm that.

He resolves this whole thing by saying that you have rediscover yourself so you can recover. I love that. And yeah that is also true and that is what I have been doing.

But it triggered something in me and it happened really fast. My impulse controlle stopped working and I crumbled. I started eating way to much because it's an easy “thing” to do. The reason I keep overeating is because most humans don't even rise their eyebrow on behavior like that. They think it's normal. I ate until I couldn't eat anymore. But I did not calm down. So I threw up. Have not done that intentionally in a long time but there are things you just remember in a way. If that makes sense. When I was done with that I still felt shitty. So I sat down and guess what?! There is not much left to do? Right?! So yeah I self-harmed. I got so angry that I put on a meditation and focused on that instead. Finally.

You should have done that earlier, you might say and yes you are right. I was still in a weird mood this morning but a lot calmer. I ran with my doggo until I was totally calm. It took me almost 13km but that's what running is for. So I decided to meditate again. My goal was to really and fully let go regardless of how long it would take. After almost one hour I had that strange experience where I started seeing light coming out ofmy hands. This has never happend to me before! It's not uncommen. I have heard many humans talk about stuff like that.

But a few questions remain...

Did I get a reward now for acting out yesterday? Did something step in and help me today? Like an angel or a spiritual guide? I'm confused but also in a good mood.

#childhood trauma #living with cptsd #actually cptsd #actually borderline #actually bpd #tw ed #tw sh related #healing journal #healing journey #spiritualgrowth #spiritual awakening #Youtube

[sunny6677]

Spooky Month Future AU/Jolly Month AU - Part 1: Skid and Pump.

TWS: EMOTIONAL ABUSE MENTIONS, ALZHEIMERS MENTIONS, SWEARING.

Skid is around his thirties now in this au. Lila is suffering from Alzheimers now, but this doesn't stop Skid from appreciating her and visiting her in the nursing home where she's currently suffering. Despite her current condition, he loves her so.

Skid ended up getting a job as a fairly wealthy business worker, and due to this, he has a lot of money. He works very hard to put food on the table for he and his daughter, and this usually works out just fine for him. His old wife(Layla's mother) was an absolute asshole, and was just a jerk in general(she might have also been a little emotionally abusive). So after a bit of having to put up with her ass, he took Layla as soon as she was born, and divorced his old wife. He had been planning this for a while now, so he made the decision of asking for a lot of things while married to her, just so he could take them once he divorced her and proceed to sell them. Most of these things were expensive stuff like diamonds and all this other glamorous shit, so they selled pretty quickly, and he gained a lot of money from it.

Skid is very self confident in this au, he's smug when it comes to people he doesn't like, and he's also incredibly intelligent. He's kind of sassy to be honest, and he can be a little passive aggresive. If learning that someone is harming his loved ones, he won't hurt said person, but he will proceed to make their life a living hell with his manipulation skills. His old wife would also always make fun of him for the way he dressed(she said he looked too "extra" and "attention-seeking"), so out of spite, he started dressing like that all of the time.

Skid loves his daughter, Layla, very much in this au. And even though Layla is obsessed with Christmas instead of "The Spooky Month", he is very supportive of it just like Lika was supportive of his own interests. He is also a little protective over her, and isn't afraid to ruin someone's life if they dare lay a finger on her. Layla calls Christmas "The Jolly Month", so she is a bit like her dad, but only with Christmas instead.

Bonus; Skid found out that his daughter was being bullied at school once, so he tried to speak with the school about it. They did nothing about it, because of course they didn't. So, he then proceeded to see the principal and staff in person, and roasted all of them in a calm and passive aggresive manner. He then decided he was going to take Layla out of that school and put her into a new one, and left without a word, not telling Layla what had happened between him and the principal and some of the staff.

Overall, he's a good dad. He's just a little smug and passive aggresive towards anyone who even harms her in any way. He also still loves spooky month in this au, but not as much as he used to.

Pump is also around his thirties in this au now, and he did have a wife(Sally's mother), but she is now dead. This caused Pump to have depression, and he has basically become really pessimistic and tired about everything. He works as a business worker as well, though he receives less pay than Skid does where he works at.

Pump is still friends with Skid in this AU, and they are very supportive of eachother. Neither of them will hesitate to fight a bitch if they dare harm the other, though Pump will take a more angry approach and Skid will take a more calm and passive aggresive approach.

Pump is cynical, sarcastic, and is kind of a jerk sometimes. But that's only because he's stressed out from his job. He rarely receives any sort of breaks, and he fucking despises his job. He's over-worked and very stressed most of the time, and is usually very exhausted. But he still loves his daughter, and will soften up around her since he knows she's just a kid. He does the best he can for her, and Skid tries the best he can to support his current situation by giving him some money occasionally. Pump is grateful for this.

Sally and Layla are besties due to their shared love of Christmas, so they visit the other a lot. As they play together and get up to antics, Skid and Pump will usually just chill together and talk with the other. But if Sally and Layla invite them into their antics or games, they will not hesitate to join.

Overall, he's a good dad, he's just very stressed.

#spooky month #skid and pump #spooky month au #pump and skid #skid spooky month #pump #pump spooky month #spooky month future au

[shammah8]

💫BITTERNESS CAUSES CANCER.💫

▶️Train your self to think lika a child

▶️When it comes to what someone said bad about you or what they did against you.

▶️Think like a child, don't let it mean anything to you, otherwise, it will create some kind of cancer in your life.

▶️One of the cheap causes of cancer today is bitterness.

▶️When you become bitter , bitterness cause cancer, envy causes cancer.

▶️Anger causes cancer, try as much as possible to do away with anger in your life, when u get angry, u activate the courage from the Devil.

▶️When God tells you to work in love, He is not saying it for the benefit of the other guy.

▶️When He tells you about Forgiveness, He is not saying it for the benefit of the other fellow.

▶️Is for your own benefit, because he knows when u keep those things in your heart there are dangerous to you.

▶️They begin with you, you are in more danger than the person you think has wronged you.

[im-blushing-like-crazy]

mihoyo really just made me question if four is less than three

#and it was an anomaly level so more than three would not have been possible anyway #at least if math still says that three is less than four #tears of themis #angry lika is angry

[seung-jjanq]

#kpop #kpop meme #nct #hetalia #liu yangyang #yangyang #lika talks #angry lika is angry

[finaledenialist]

you know what i decided i don't want 'back to normal after covid thing'. because it wasn't fucking normal. i want things to change and capitalism to DIE

#i am extra salty today so here's the rest of todays story because i had a major breakdown today and it was UGLY #i am so fucking overwhelmed with elearning in uni bc they assign us so much stuff to write now and i wouldn't be that mad if it wasn't so mu #*so much or if we had conditions to do this at home #like i don't even have my own room and i always did my essays in library or something because i can not focus at home for the love of god it #it's too loud and messy #and you know how many past-deadline essays i have yet to write? a bazilion. and not to mention i was to get my degree this year #but it requires wiritng a thesis and guess what - i don't have time energy or silent conditions to do it #so after smoking half of a pack of cigarettes because i had a serious breakdown today (wow i survived without a breakdown for 30 days straig #in this lockdown thing this is an accomplishment) i decided: fuck it i am not gonna do this. i am stopping stressing about it. #if uni will make me problems i will move heaven and hell write every petition do everything to prove #that it's because the elearning thing SUCKED ASS AND IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO DO THE ASSIGNMENTS i am unable. i am physically and mentall #mentally UNABLE to continue living under that much stress for another... month? months? things won't just magically #and snap back to normal! and we should stop pretending they will! THE STRESS IS EATING ME FROM THE INSIDE OUT #and i can joke all i want about spending days thinking about fictional characters and all but always #in the back of my head there are USELESS ESSAYS TO WRITE that won't even be properly graded and the effort to write them #won't be noticed because lecturers are also human beings and how many papers can you focus on while grading??? #we were not assigned this much when we were having normal classes because this is the last year the last semester of our studies #and we were supposed to focus on our thesis and development !!! and i can't do that because all the materials #THAT I NEDD TO WRITE MY THESIS are in the library !!! that is closed!!!!! I AM SO ANGRY my fury has literally no limits #i refuse to live lika that under constant stress u can get cancer from this shit #personal #ugh sorry but like if anyone read all of this know that i am very sorry pls ignore me i am just having a shitty day #:((((( #gonna reblog some destiel stuff

[jeageristsasuke]

Take a moment to remember the only times Naruto peaked as a character was because of Sasuke. If Sasuke didn't exist you would have neither a show nor a protagonist, you're welcome.

#I'm angry man #lika a lot #sasuke #Naruto

[99core]

not to be so fucking aggressive but

#i HATE filipinos who shit on other filipinos who have darker skin #'are they even real filipinos' YES YOU FUCKING IDIOTS... #PHILIPPINES IS A TROPICAL COUNTRY LYING ON THE FUCKING EQUATOR OF COURSE THE PEOPLE ARE TANNED #AND THE FACT THEY ONLY THINK YOURE PRETTY IF YOU WERE WHITER #and the fucking whitening propagandas OH MY GOD... #so much glutathione and likas papaya??? #ITS FUCKING RIDICULOUS AND DISGUSTING PLEASE... i ABSOLUtely FUCKING hate filipinos who do this its just so.. #SO GROSS... my own family does this n ive told them so many times but ofc no one listens to me!!! #because im just a kid with a stupid opinion yeah!!!! #and like how igorots and other indigenous people of philippines are called d*sgusting and d*rty for being DARK SKINNED... #THESE PEOPLE BUILT OUR COUNTRY.. THESE PEOPLE FUCKING RETAINED THEIR CUSTOMS AND LIFESTYLES THROUGH THE SPANISH INQUISITION ... #IM SO ANGRY.. #zext

[thecrowslullaby]

Ok, I know I've been repeating this lika a mantra but I'm still so gosh darn angry about it.

Slimy snake has been mass reposting stuff to pinterest, not only sanders sides but also undertale, fnaf, danganronpa, etc.

The last time i checked their handle on tumblr was @/slimy-snake. DO NOT HARASS THEM.

I'm providing an a link to their pinterest in case anyone wants to report their own stuff (i have messaged them on pinterest and tumblr politely asking to have my stuff removed and they have blocked me)

#sanders sides #undertale #fnaf #danganronpa #ts sides #sanders sides fanart #ts remus #ts janus #ts logan #ts roman #ts virgil #ts patton

[divinefireangel]

SF9 comforting their sad S/O will include:

SF9 x GN! Reader mini headcanons.

Disclaimer: This is just a work of fiction. If this piece of fan fiction is offensive to any celebrity, fandom or culture please let me know so I can take it down. Also note that this is my version of a character or celeb, which will vary from person to person.

Author's Note: Ya girl is sad. She's had two continuous shitty days and wanted to feel a lil comforted. Classes are taking a toll on me so do enjoy this piece I wrote in like 2 hours because I finally got time😭. It's probably bad 💀💀

Copyright: Please note that this is my work and if you want to publish this on any other platform, take my permission before doing so. Taking an author's work and posting it somewhere else without any intimation is just disrespectful. I readily welcome suggestions and criticisms. That being said, Happy reading! 🤍

Warnings: All ages and all readers (nothing specified with respect to gender, appearance, etc of reader).

Youngbin

He would want to find out who or what made you sad at first. If it's an actual person, they are doomed because he's gonna get angry

You remember that time on a JaeBin Vlive when a fan mentioned that their boyfriend cheated on them? Yeah kinda like that

Will definitely give great advice while hugging you

Pets your hair

Gives you a head massage if you have a headache due to all the crying

Forces you to take a nap

He's gonna be like a bright and positive mirror of sorts, showing you the nicer outlook on things and your problems, helping you change your perspective to a healthier one

Inseong

The first thing he does probably is a sad pout because his baby is sad 🥺

Embraces you in his arms, makes you feel small and protected for some reason I always forget that's he's one of the tall ones

He talks to you till you calm down and are ready to talk

Even if you aren't sure you want to talk about the problem, he will go on till you are comfortable and ready

Makes you a hot beverage of choice

Cuddles you to sleep.

No really. He doesn't move. Doesn't let you move.

You just accept defeat and fall asleep while laying on top of him

Jaeyoon

He would like to establish a small physical touch first and foremost

Will take your tiny hand in his and rubs his thumb over your knuckles

Kinda like testing waters, to see if it's okay for him to hug you and carry you to bed

Once he gets a positive reaction to his action, he become protective boyfriend 101

Looks at you with big curious eyes

Offers you soft smiles when you look at him

Kisses your face sweetly while squishing your cheeks

Starts humming a soft tune, like a lullaby to soothe your mental pain

Will cry if you cry

Sanghyuk

You don't even have to be visibly upset for him to know something is wrong

Makes the stupidest jokes ever lol

Prays with everything that those will work

If they don't, no worries

He sets up an impromptu mini date on the terrace

Goes all out to make you smile

If you wanna talk, he's all ears and listens to every detail as though his life depends on it

Once all your feelings are out of your system, he gently guides you to your feet

Takes your hands and puts them around his body and hugs you while dancing side to side

Seokwoo

Our fav tall baby boy

What will he not do if you're sad

Picks you up like a child

Holds you close to his body

Cooks you something sweet

Puts on your fav show or movie

Great at providing distractions

Sings you to comfort

No matter what happened, he assures you that it won't happen again, and even if does happen he'll be there to remind you about how you've overcome this situation already once and that you have the strength to endure it again

Juho

His face becomes so small when he sees you sad omg

Pouts and walks over to you to hold you against him

Hides your head in his chest

If you're laying on the couch then he hugs you lika a koala on a stick

Beckons his cute cats over to cuddle with you both

They rub themselves against your bodies this feeling is so serotonin filling

Kisses the apple of your cheek a lot

Back rubs and belly rubs to have any form of touch

Plays with your hair and fingers till you slip into slumber

He'll slowly and carefully slip out of you and cooks you something so that when you wake up, you can eat your tummy full

Yoo Taeyang

This gif omg

Our lovely sunshine

All he's gotta do is give you his sunshine smile and you're done for

But sunshine's a lil cloudy because the star he revolves around is upset :(

Pouty baby but he's ready to fight, if necessary

Rubs you tears away for you 🥺

Takes you on a lovely stroll in the park, hand in hand, swinging back and forth

Picks up pretty flowers for you

If you don't feel like going out, he will sway with you in your living room to soft music

Hums along with the music while his sky becomes less cloudy :)

Youngkyun

Opens his arms wide open for you to run up to him forgetting all your worries

Hugs you tight enough to block the air flow of your lungs

Caresses your cheeks and shoulders

Somehow, even I don't know how, convinced you to get ready to go outside

You go to a coffee shop, your favorite, first and then you go to his cat cafe

Once you find a comfortable spot there, he coerces you to cuddle him not caring what people think

Seeing you both so close to each other, the cats are naturally drawn to you both

Gives you great and deep life advice that he stole from Youngbin 💀

Kisses the side of your head soo many times there's probably a dent there now

Chanhee

Straight up asks you what you want him to do

He'll do anything for you

Even be nice and accept his hyungs' affections

If you have no answer, he will help you change into comfy clothes, make you tea, wrap you up in a blanket burrito like a newborn, sit behind you and help you drink the tea

Once you've consumed that, he will slowly start talking about his day, pausing after each significant event, waiting patiently for your input

Realizing that his voice is making you feel drowsy, he continues to talk to you about the randomest stuff until you enter a state of slumber in his warm embrace

#sf9 #sf9 x reader #sf9 headcanons #youngbin #inseong #jaeyoon #dawon #zuho #rowoon #yoo taeyang #hwiyoung #chani #sf9 fluff #sf9 reactions #sf9 scenarios #sf9 writings