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#as soon as it became clear he wasn't going to make it i just started SOBBING
Guest in the Relationship
Damian Wayne x reader
Word count: 3024
Warnings: mugging, some violence, slight angst and unedited
First work I’ve written in a long time so constructive criticism is welcomed, but please be kind and I hope you enjoy :)
I looked at the clock on my bedside table. 7:34. It had been over an hour since Damian was supposed to pick me up for our date. I'd been discussing how much I wanted to see this film for months at this point - ever since the first promo trailer dropped. The tickets I had bought for opening night went unused in my desk drawer from another date Damian had forgotten or been late to.
The number of dates planned but gone uncompleted seemed insurmountable now, endless even. In the year and a half I'd been dating Damian I had gotten used to the constant family emergencies, other plans he had or straight up just him forgetting you had plans in the first place. Damian always apologised profusely afterwards and I had always forgiven him. It was a non-problem. Yes it hurt and was annoying, but it wasn't till recently his inability to prioritise you had become a problem. Jon had gotten himself a boyfriend, a boyfriend who showed up to every date early bearing gifts for Jon. I was beyond happy my best friend had finally found himself someone, but a green lens always covered my vision when he told me about how perfect his relationship was. Especially when he mentioned how him and his boyfriend had gone to see the film I seemed to have mentioned in nearly every sentence I'd spoken as of recent. To top the cake this conversation occurred at a friend lunch date which Damian cancelled going to last minute because of a 'family emergency'. I refused to think about what or rather who a family emergency was. I glanced at the clock again, 7:43. If I didn't leave soon I'd miss the film, again, I wasn't going to waste anymore cinema tickets. With a sigh I braced myself and my heart for once again doing something alone that I was supposed to, should be doing with Damian.
The film had barely reached the halfway point when I finally decided to leave the screen. The vice grip holding my heart captive was too much to handle, the pain was making me physically sick. The film was just as good as Jon had said, I just wished Damian was there to see it with me or had at least replied to one of my texts asking where he was. My heart hurt so much from the disappointment of not only missing Damian, but also from not being able to enjoy the film i'd been waiting for, for so long. Did I really mean so little to Damian? Surely he would have broken up with me by now if he had no interest in me. But then why did we barely see each other anymore, I couldn't even recall the last time we saw each other outside of school. Maybe he just didn't know how to break up with me. My heart burned just at the thought he didn't want me anymore. Tears started rushing down my face, harder than before. I couldn't walk back into the screen like this, I just needed to go back to my house. Despite the 45 minutes in the dark it would take, I decided to walk home, I couldn't bear the idea of anyone on the bus giving me funny looks for crying. I should have really performed a risk assessment before walking around Gotham at night, but I was too focused on trying to calm my heavy breathing and halt my tears.
My steps sped up when my front door became visible, I really just wanted to sleep. I was too distracted to notice the balaclava clad man who had been following me for two blocks already. He grabbed me from behind, covering my mouth to prevent me from screaming for help and pulled me into the closest alleyway. I knew a bruise was going to form from where he shoved me against the wall. My tear's amplified significantly, this was quite frankly the worst time I could be mugged. A knife found its way against my neck "empty your pockets." his words were slow and clear - no fear of being caught by one of the many vigilantes who called Gotham their home. "I don't have anything." Any attempts I was making to appear strong to the man in front of me failed miserably due to the cracking of my voice. My never ending crying from past hour and a bit had done me no favours. The mugger placed the knife more firmly against my neck "I won't repeat myself again" his lips were so close to grazing my ear "empty your pockets." I couldn't see any clear escape from this situation, I needed to try and diffuse it. "Please, I really don't have anything!" My voice was considerably louder and more firm this time. I could feel the edge of the knife slowly cutting into the skin of my neck. Where was the obnoxious bird inspired superhero when you needed him. He always seemed to be lurking around your neighbourhood, so why now was he failing to grace you with his presence. The mugger pushed me further against the wall, hard, so hard I could feel the brickwork through my raincoat. He pushed one hand into my pockets while the other kept the knife placed at my throat. The man got increasingly angered as spare change, my film ticket and a piece of gum fell to the floor. When he finally took my phone out of my pocket, I could tell there was a low chance of me escaping this encounter unscathed. My 5 year old iPhone would barely get him enough money to buy a meal at Bamonte's. The man's body language caused my heart even faster I feared it might actually leave my body. I had never seen someone so angry. He grabbed my face with both hands, the roughness of his hands could leave cuts on my skin themselves. His grip became impossibly tighter on my face in order for him to smash my face into the brick behind. A loud pained yelp escaped my lips. Pleads begging someone would help invade my mind - bird themed hero or neighbour, anyone. The man stepped back, twirling his knife in his hand, staring at me like he was contemplating what to do next. I screamed. It was the only option I had left, there were no other means to escape this situation. There was no way I could overpower this man, especially when he was wielding a knife he'd already cut me with. All I could do was scream for help and pray someone would hear me.
Luckily for me and unfortunately for the man in front of me, a caped shadow appeared from behind the man. Relief possessed my body as I watched the mugger be knocked out. Where moments prior rough hands gripped my face, now gloved hands cradle my cheeks. Jade green eyes analysing my face in a silent question. A question I was not yet ready to answer. Instead I wrapped my arms around Robin's shoulders burying my head in the crook of his neck, the phrase thank you becoming my mantra. Me and Robin had only stumbled across each other a handful of times previously, usually on a late night walk of mine where he started off by lecturing me of the dangers of walking around alone at night and ended with us stargazing on my fire escape discussing our secrets.
I am unsure what happened over the next few minutes, shock and tears overtook my body. All I am sure of is that Robin held me throughout it all. He let me stay holding him, kissing my temple and stroking my hair, reassuring me everything was okay now. When I finally felt like I could breathe again, I removed my head from where it rested against Robin's shoulder so I could look at him "I'm sorry." I said, my voice reverting back to its hoarse quiet mess as a result of my crying. He shook his head at me, removing the remnants of my tears with his fingers. "There's no need to be sorry." I hesitantly smile at him "I guess I should have listened more to your lectures." My attempt at brightening the mood fails when Robin doesn't reciprocate my smile. "I need you to promise me that you'll never walk alone at night again." His greens pleaded with me to listen to him as he continued even more seriously. "If I hadn't gotten there when I had" Robin cuts himself off, looking away from me and swallowed harshly. "I need you to promise me so I know you're safe. I might not always be there to protect you." When he finally looked back at me the desperation in his eyes was clear as day. I presented him with my pinky "I promise." His bodily visibly relaxed in front of me as he joined our pinkies together.
"Do you know what time it is?" I asked Robin. "Nearly half 10. Why?" He seemed genuinely baffled as why that would be the first proper thing I thought about after the type of attack I just endured. "Do you know where my phone is?" I chose to ignore his confusion. Robin looked at the floor, searching for where the mugger had dropped my phone. Fortunately, bar a few scratches to the screen, my phone had survived the attack. I had two notifications, one from my mum which arrived before the attack asking for my ETA and another from Jon asking if me and Damian enjoyed the film. No messages from Damian. None. It had been over 4 hours since we were supposed to meet. I could feel the tears start to well back up in my eyes. This wasn't the first time he hadn't responded to my messages, but it had never happened at a time where I really needed him. I needed to go home and I didn't mean the building across the road. I needed to be in Damien's arms.
I looked towards Robin who was collecting my belongings from where the man had dropped them on the pavement. I wanted to escape this situation now. Taking a breath in an attempt to contain my tears, I watched as Robin paused when he picked up my film ticket from the ground an almost incoherent curse coming from his mouth. "I really need to get home now." My teeth clenched, I was so close to crying again. I refuse to cry in front of Robin again tonight. "Thank you so much for everything." Robin opened his mouth as if to respond but I turned around before he could speak a word, practically sprinting to my front door. I just needed to hide in my bed from the world for a while. Too much had happened in such a short space of time. I needed to debate what to do about the whole Damian situation and process the attack I just experienced.
Two hours later and my phone had not stopped buzzing. Damian had been calling and messaging me non-stop to apologise and ask if I'm okay. While all I wanted was for him to hold me and make me feel safe again, how could that happen when I felt like a guest in our relationship. I know I needed to message him to reassure him I was okay and that I just needed time, I couldn't bring myself to do it. Taylor Swift was blasting through my headphones so it was no surprise I didn't hear the knock at my window, or the second, or the third or when the red caped vigilante entered my room. I only noticed him when the duvet protecting me from the rest of the world was removed around my head.
"Hey." Robin seemed nervous. He was never nervous. I sat up in my bed curious as to not only why he was here but also to why he looked so nervous. "Hi." My voice sounded stronger than it had the last time we spoke. He pushed a small rectangular piece of paper into my hands, it was the film ticket I'd left with him before. I looked up at him, tilting my head in confusion. "I just came to return this." His speech was hurried. "And to make sure you're okay of course." I'd thought nothing could ruffle the feathers of this bird, but seemingly I was wrong and I needed to get to the bottom of why he was acting so weirdly. I decided to answer him truthfully. "Apart from the cut to my neck and the probably never ending trauma, I'd say I'm doing okay considering." Robin's eyes flew to my neck, he hadn't noticed the cut till now. "It's really nothing, I'm okay, I swear." I patted the bed next to me as an offer for him to sit, but also in an effort to eradicate the new found fury on Robin's face. Turning to Robin I say "now why don't you tell me what's wrong with you." Robin's anger quickly turns back into apprehension, but his eyes never leave the small cut on my neck. "I don't know what you mean." He replies, words slightly slower than before. I roll my eyes at him, I repeat myself . He's short with his response "nothing." There was no way I was letting this boy leave my room without a proper explanation. "So you go to every damsels room after you rescue them then?" Robins quick response of no was partnered with a shake of the head so familiar to me. Odd. "Then why come visit me after?" Robin was stumped by this question, constantly opening his mouth to answer before closing it again. He finally settled on an answer. "You seemed upset about something else other than the incident earlier" he looked me in the eyes before continuing, god they looked so similar to my favourite pair. Obviously missing Damian was making me look for him in places he had no right being. "As somewhat friends I wanted to see what I could do to help." I'd blanked out half of what Robin had said with my thoughts of Damian. If I was going to get to the bottom of why Robin was acting so weirdly I needed to tell him the truth first. "In all honesty" I started, hands playing with the Wolf teddy given to me by Damian "I'm having some relationship trouble and I don't know what to do about it." Robin's back got impossibly straighter "Problems?" He said through gritted teeth, like he was in pain. "What kind of problems?" I gripped the Wolf harder "I don't think my boyfriend loves me anymore." Tears started to fall down my cheeks as Robin sucked in a breath next to me. He looked just as shell shocked as I felt admitting the fact out loud. Robin placed his arm over my shoulders and drew comforting circles on my arm. "What makes you think that?" Robin seemed to really struggle to ask the question, I found it even harder to answer. "I'm not a priority to him anymore, if I ever was. He's constantly creating excuses not to see or talk to me. Damian is keeping so many secrets from me and there's never ending lies." Tears were falling freely from my eyes now, I didn't care if Robin saw them anymore. Robin was shaking his head, but I finished my ramble about mine and Damian's relationship before he could get a word in "I think there may be another girl." Robin looked stricken, panicked, immediately voicing his disagreement with my conclusion. "I can assure you that is not the case at all" his hands are on my face, trying to get me to look at him but I keep my gaze averted. "How would you know?" Venom tainted my voice. I didn't want to be mean but how on Earth would Robin of all people know of Damian's feelings. Robin called my name, desperation plaguing his words. When I still didn't look at him, too angry to dare, he called me by my nickname "Habibti."
My head whipped round to face Robin's. "What did you just call me?" Instead of answering me, he covered my hands with his and directed them towards his domino mask. "What are you doing?" I ask hesitantly "It's okay, Habibti." I slowly peel away the mask to reveal my boyfriend's face. "I can assure you that I do love you Beloved, more than anything." Damian moves my hands to cover his heart "I'm so sorry my actions have made it seem otherwise. You mean the world to me, Habibti." I moved away from him, sitting on the opposite side of the bed to him. "You lied to me." I said. This was obviously not the reaction Damian was hoping for because the calm that had passed over his face once I removed the mask had quickly turned back into panic. He said my name softly and tried to get closer to me. I clambered off the bed in an attempt to get away from him. "I think I need some time." Damian looked as if I'd just burnt down his whole word and moved towards me again. I retreated back a step, halting his movements and causing more anguish to paint his face. "No." I said "Damian, I need some time to think. Please give me that time." He simply nodded his head, fixed his mask back into position and left through my open window.
I chose to keep Damian's Gotham Academy Orchestra hoodie on as I slipped back into bed, cocooning myself in my duvet and replaying the scene that just occurred over and over again in my head. What was I going to do. What was I supposed to do. I grabbed my wolf teddy and clutched it tighter to my chest. I had no idea what the next move I was going to make was, but I knew I had to decide soon.
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beauty-and-passion · 7 hours
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This is going to sound really strange but the most recent GRWM video has. Some of the best Janus characterisation I think we’ve seen in a while?? Also he canonically sheds now, so
You are not wrong, anon: this is the best characterization in a while. It's way better than the last one, in which Janus was mostly a drunk idiot, and it's way worse than SvS. This one sits in the middle: it's not bad, it's not amazing. It's good.
Just like Mr. Sanders' last videos regarding Sanders Sides, this GRWM is okay. Not groundbreaking, not impressive, not deep, not stupid. Just okay.
And trust me, this is the best possible outcome! When I found out Thomas was planning a video with Janus and it was a GRWM and Janus had questions to answer... I wasn't just scared, oh no. I was absolutely terrified. I feared to see the destruction of Janus' character. I feared to see him being all like: "YASSS QUEEN all I love is WINE and nothing else, also being SASSY is my religion BIATCH".
And we got a bit of that, sure. But it was a bit, not the avalanche I expected. I was bearable.
After all, this is just a random video. There's nothing plot-related here. Heck, there's not even too much Sanders Sides stuff, because this GRWM clearly was Thomas' attempts to reconnect with the character. I shouldn't care too much about it. I shouldn't overanalyze it.
But you know me: you know I love to over-analyze. And if you know me, you also know that Remus is my favorite child, but Janus has a special place in my heart and if one little thing about him is off I will start rambling.
Hence why I will overanalyze the shit out of these 9 minutes of a video and I will do what I shouldn't do, i.e. look back into the past's characterization. Not for shaming Mr. Sanders for not remembering it (even if the videos still exist and he can watch them too if he wants), but to remind you all of Janus' personality. The public needs to remember what kind of character he was and who he became.
So I'll over-analyze everything and no, you can't escape. You're stuck with me here, so put your seatbelt on, because you're in for one of the things I love the most: talking about Janus.
The importance of nuance
Let's talk about make-up a little bit. Don't worry, by the end you will understand my point.
The current make-up isn't even comparable to the past one. And if a lot of people complain about it and prefer the old one, it's not because they're all demanding: it's because of nuances.
Let me explain and let's start with the current photo Mr. Sanders showed to promote the GRWM video:
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If you look at this make-up, your eyes will inevitably be drawn towards that sharp black line. And as soon as you will look at it, you will immediately register it as a drawn line.
It's so clear and so evident it's a line, I can literally see the black liquid eyeliner, the tip and the hand tracing that line on Thomas' skin.
But this line isn't supposed to be a line: it's supposed to be/resemble a snake's mouth.
Now, look at the past make-up:
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The line isn't sharp black: the line is nuanced. You can see a bit of brown and a hint of red/pink to give it depth and emphasize the shadow.
Also, this color is very similar to the little shadow given by Thomas' upper lip on the lower one, so it looks more natural against his skin tone. It doesn't seem like something added on him, but on something that was already part of him. And isn't that the goal of make-up? To add something and disappear, so people won't notice it exists in the first place?
Look at the eye as well: the past one is a softer, more nuanced pink. It looks more natural, against Thomas' skin tone. The present one is so dark, it looks more like a bad bruise.
So the problem with the current make-up isn't just that the colors aren't the same: it's that the current colors are too much. They're too sharp, too saturated and, consequently, too fake. It's clear that Thomas wears make-up, while in the past the blend was softer, the colors closer to Thomas' actual complexion. Consequently, the make-up faded and gave us an illusion of reality.
I know Mr. Sanders had skin conditions and everything, but I'm talking about colors and nuances here. Two things a make-up artist should know better than me, an idiot on the Internet who loves art, color theory and learns from artists on the web. You can obtain these things independently of the used products.
So my opinion on the make-up would be: please Mr. Sanders, switch for softer tones, no sharp black and no coral. Too much. Nuance is the key.
And not just for make-up.
---
The fakeness of reality tv
Janus enjoys reality television because nothing about it is real. His specific words are:
I very much enjoy reality television: the scheming, the plotting, the lying. Every person for himself and even on top of that, all of the production none of reality television is actually real. It's just delightful.
I get the idea behind it and I understand why Thomas thought it was a good choice. On paper, it works: Janus should enjoy this kind of show because it's made of lies and he's Deceit.
But if I follow this line of thought, I inevitably meet with Janus from Into the Unknown:
[Patton]: Well yeah I guess you'd like it, everyone all dressed up, disguised as someone else... [Janus]: How is it we've had so many of these visits and you still know so little about me?
Janus himself said that not everything associated with lies is something he enjoys. And it makes sense, because Logan too said the same thing in the last Aside:
"Is that all I am to you? The reading guy?"
So now I'm asking: why does he like reality tv? Just because it's fake? Then why is he so happy about it being fake? Reality tv should represent reality, it should mirror how society works. And thanks to SvS, we know Janus doesn't hold society into high consideration:
[Deceit]: Society itself is a lie! (...) You get enough people to share a piece of land and breathe the same air and... you've got a society. Why? It's just a bunch of people in the same general area. It's an abstract concept, as real as the monster under your bed! But we obey these rules or get punished for breaking them. All in the name of society. It's absurd and terrifying.
Just like society, reality tv has a group of people put together and they make a society. It's an abstract concept, as real as the monster under your bed. And these people must obey the rules or get punished for breaking them.
And yet, Janus doesn't think reality tv is "absurd and terrifying", but "delightful".
Again: why does he like it? Why does he like something so similar to what he hates most?
Maybe you can live with the "It's fake" explanation and that's good for you. But what if instead of liking reality tv because "it's fake", Janus likes it, because it perfectly mirrors the flaws and the emptiness of society? What if he enjoys it, because he loves the irony of society using its own means to unmask itself and show its real face? What if he watches it, not because "it's delightful", but because it's bittersweet to see such an inability to understand your own flaws?
Which explanation do you think is more fitting for his character?
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Remus eats glue sticks
Of course he does. His digestive system is probably able to digest molten lava, so glue sticks are a walk in the park for him, bless his chaotic soul <3
(Have I already said Remus is my favorite boi?)
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The possibilities of shedding
Okay, the "Have you considered not having pores?" is hilarious and I love it on multiple levels.
Well, here we are. Janus sheds, two to four times a year. And I know the fandom went crazy over this and I'm happy for you... but I never really cared too much about it.
I mean: it's fine, but I can't really think of anything truly special to headcanon about it. Snakes shed their skin all the time and they just chill around, while slowly peeling their skin off. It's not dangerous, it doesn't hurt, it's just exfoliation time✨. I mean, does it hurt you, when you remove sunburnt skin? Don't think so. The worst thing for snakes is probably not being able to take the skin off with hands, since they don't have hands.
But hey, this is canon now, so I should probably integrate it in my headcanon. And I can do it in two different ways:
The shedding is just part of Janus' routine: twice a year he gets one day off, takes a reeeeally long bath and slowly peels off his skin until he's done.
I can take inspiration from this fanart and imagine the shedding as a real "leaving your body behind" process, in which Janus slowly gets submerged into his room and re-emerges as a form of pure power and instincts, which then solidifies into a new body. I think I like this idea more, because when I go with Janus, I need something that makes him look either more god-like or more monster-like.
And since we're talking about snake traits, how many more does he have? Because I already added a few on my list, like:
sunbathing
climbing trees
laying everywhere (especially on trees)
taking long relaxing baths
And I'm just waiting for an excuse to add "mating". But I suppose only future will tell.
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What you don't like
"An important aspect of being oneself, in addition to knowing what you like, is knowing what you don't like and saying to that thing: ew get away from me, I don't like you... Roman"
Okay, that was genuinely funny and it made me smile, so kudos for that, Mr. Sanders. It was a clever move and I enjoyed it.
Also, for more reasons I will explain further down, this makes me want to write a conversation between Janus and Roman, to study how they work together, why they don't like each other and their personalities in general. My only problem would be to put it on a timeline, because I don't like to write things suspended in a temporal vacuum. If inspiration strikes, maybe I'll do it.
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Religion... and self-preservation
Now, I don't know who made that question about Jesus Christ, but you. You. You gave me real fear... but also indirectly confirmed one of my headcanons, so thank you, I suppose.
I was bracing myself, waiting and hoping Thomas didn't say anything stupid, because Janus and religion have a super tight bond and one misstep can lead to me rambling for the rest of my life, all while throwing canon into the trash because no one can say anything wrong about the relationship Janus has with religion, not even Mr. Sanders.
But the answer was... okay. Harmless. A bit simplistic, maybe, but I can accept Janus saying that Jesus is cool for having followers and turning water into wine.
What really struck me the most was when he said Jesus is his style because "he refuses to die".
For me, that's the most important part of the video. You can take away everything else, because this is the only part that matters for me.
Why? Because this is the essence of self-preservation. Because, as I said in the past, self-preservation is that force that protects you from dangers, threats, even yourself. And it protects you from death. It's part of that intrinsic will to live that defines all living creatures.
So, since Janus encompasses this role too, it has always been implied (at least for me) that he's that force that will fight against death until the end, just to make Thomas live a little longer. In my headcanon, he literally refuses to think Thomas can die before his time, because he's built to not make this happen.
Hence why when I saw Janus putting such emphasis on the idea that Jesus refuses to die made me immensely happy, because it's (implied) canon. Janus refuses to die, because he will never surrender to death. Because it's his nature, to never surrender to it.
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Deceit or Ego?
The snake telepathy part was fun when mentioned, then it was followed by the "memememe I'm gorgeous" part, which is perfect if you're the representation of Ego, a bit less if you're deceit.
Speaking of that, I think there's a bit of confusion in Thomas' mind regarding these two aspects. And since they're represented by two different Sides, the contrast is even more jarring.
Janus is confident and this is part of his personality. But confidence isn't repeating "me" in your head 400 times and telling yourself that you're gorgeous and handsome even when sitting still. This isn't confidence, this is Ego. This is something Roman could say to himself... and he did it, in the past. He looked at himself all the time, called himself gorgeous, asked if his makeup was okay because the prince's gonna slay, said he dramatically serenaded himself in front of the mirror. All these things are a constant reconfirmation of yourself and this is what the Ego does: it constantly reconfirms you're great and cool and gorgeous.
Confidence, on the other hand, doesn't need constant confirmations. If you're confident, you already know you're great, you don't need to repeat it yourself. You just do your things and if others criticize you, you shrug their reprimands off.
One example of confidence from this video? This part:
"What are my guilty pleasures?" Guilty pleasures? Why would a pleasure be guilty? I've got none of those. Indulge in your pleasures guilt-free, people: life is short.
This proves Janus is confident, WAY MORE than him repeating how cool he is. This is the tone he should've had for most of the video, not that "Oh, look at how cool I am".
Also because it may seem a paradox, but the more you repeat how cool you are, the less people will believe you. That's why people who constantly show off are perceived as weak and insecure: because they search for a constant reconfirmation they would probably never need, if they were truly confident.
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All of the selfcare - and what else?
Aside from the things I already mentioned, the rest of the video is mostly made of advice like "your opinion is the only one that matters/others are less than you/don't give a shit about others".
I don't know if this is Mr. Sanders making a reminder to himself to not indulge in criticism too much, but okay, let's ignore it XD
These pieces of advice can all be traced back to another aspect of Janus' personality: the self-care one. The last canonical one.
And since it's the last, I can understand why Thomas latched onto it and made it be like 60% of the video. It's probably the part of Janus' character he remembers the most.
And it's the easiest too, along with the "sassy" aspect. Put them together and you get the sassy queen who tells you to relax dear, don't give a fuck about the rest of the world.
So I understand you, anon, when you say this is the best characterization in a while: it is, because it's based on the last canonical piece of Janus' character, mixed with the "sassy" aspect that developed more recently. Of course it seems more coherent with Janus' character, compared to him being drunk for an entire video.
But even if canonical, self-care is just an aspect of Janus' personality and it makes most of the video. The remaining part is a huge amount of Ego, which shouldn't even be here, because it's Roman's trait.
And the other aspects? Nowhere to be seen. No distaste for society, no cryptic language, no wittiness, barely any lie, barely any real confidence, barely any body language and zero foreseeing ability.
I know what you're thinking and yes, I said at the beginning that this video is clearly just a way for Mr. Sanders to reconnect with the character. So I understand why Janus' personality is like that and that there are mistakes or incomplete things. I am not blaming Thomas for trying.
I am writing this post, to remind you Janus' full personality. To remind you that he's not just "sassy wine aunt/self-care queen".
On the contrary, I think present Janus is exactly like his make-up: the traits are similar to the original one, but the aspects are too sharp. They should be here, they are part of him, but they're not in the exact shade or nuance to be him. They are similar, but off, because something is missing. And that something is nuance.
In the end, that's what this post is all about: nuance. Past Janus was more nuanced, because he was more than one aspect. Present Janus is less nuanced, because he's stuck between two aspects - which is a truly cruel irony, considering his entire thing is being a gray, multifaceted character.
My only hope is that, just like with the make-up, Mr. Sanders will find a way to bring nuances back into Janus' character and make him at least similar to who he used to be.
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malu-uchiha6492 · 1 day
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Undesirable encounter
(Claude Frollo X Female reader)
Synopsis: You were the new seamstress in Paris and Frollo suspects that you were harboring Romani in your shop. It looks like your first start was more tense than you expected...
A/n: I confess that I am in love with the Hunchback of Notre-Dame and I especially love the book. I hope you readers like it, and if you want to give me tips I accept (you can correct me too) If you want other Disney characters, you can ask me💕.
(Guys, I don't know if you know, but the word "gypsy" is a slur and should not be used, the correct one is "Roma" Or "Romani people" I put "Gypsy" only in Frollo's lines since you know the type of person he is.)
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It was just another ordinary day in Paris, you had arrived in the city a few months ago and worked as a dressmaker. You immediately became known for the beautiful dresses you produced for the girls and the beautiful clothes for the boys too. You had an excellent aesthetic sense.
But what you had in the way of talent, you also had in the way of kindness. When you heard about the persecution of the Romani people, you felt touched by the situation and decided to help them. It was very risky, but you weren't going to stand by and let it happen like the other citizens of Paris were doing, letting themselves be manipulated by Frollo and his hate speeches. There was a basement in your house that you used to store fabric and sewing materials. You took advantage of that room to help some Romani hide in case of emergency if they were being chased by the guards and if there was no time to run to the court of miracles.
And so it went on, you were extremely careful not to leave any traces, until one day or another these "rumors" ended up reaching the judge.
You were sewing up the sleeves of a client's dress, which had been placed in the moulage to make it easier for you to work, and your attention now turned to the bell that rang as soon as the door was opened. Immediately, the atmosphere of the place changed when you saw who had entered. You knew those clothes, the face worn by age and you couldn't forget that look of superiority and pride, because himself thought he was important and better than everyone because of his opposition and faith. Looking behind those glass windows, you could also see some of his men at the front of the store:
“Bonjour, ma'am.” Frollo said sternly, snapping you out of your thoughts. That thick, authoritative voice gave you the creeps. “I'd like to know who owns this establishment. Your husband is here?”
“A-Ah! Good morning...” You forced a smile and stuck the needle into the moulage so you wouldn't lose it. “Your Honor, I'm the owner, and no, I don't have a husband.”
As you said this, the judge looked you up and down with contempt. Of course, in the 16th century, a young woman like you not being married was a disgrace to society, and on top of that, being able to read and owning your own business was even worse. You weren't tense or nervous with him in your store, on the contrary, you were so calm... After all, you cleaned out the basement and removed any evidence as soon as a family of Romani's moved out recently:
“I've received information that you've been harboring gypsies in your house and I'm here to find out the facts, have you been harboring gypsies?” He got straight to the point.
“No, sir.” You pretended to be as honest as possible, fortunately you were good at lying.
“You know that if you lie, the sentence for insubordination is death...” He moved closer in an attempt to intimidate her.
“My conscience is clear. You have permission to investigate my store, since my words don't apply to you.”
“If I wasn't allowed to, seamstress, I'd still make a point of searching this place from top to bottom, whether you agree or not.”
The older man signaled for some of his men to enter the store before you could protest or complain. Since you were the only one who seemed to have enough courage to go against the judge's ideas when you were right. They went in and started rummaging around for clues, looking everywhere, even under the skirts of the dresses on the mannequins.
Frollo looked you up and down in an nothing unobtrusive way, you didn't notice the glances, but as soon as you did, it gave you the creeps and you avoided looking back at him. He had never noticed you in the city before and he noticed your accent, deducing that you might be a foreigner. The judge couldn't take his eyes off you, you were a very beautiful woman and seemed so delicate, and it seems that some feeling awakened in him when he saw that you were without gloves and your dress showed your shoulders. He came out of his thoughts when a guard approached:
"Sir, we've looked everywhere and found nothing..." Being a clever woman, an idea came to your mind: perhaps it would be better if they looked at everything to leave you alone.
"Have you looked in my basement, gentlemen?" you asked, kicking the rug that hid the small door in the wooden floor of your store.
Frollo was suspicious, but sent his men in to search every corner of the small cellar. Fortunately, they didn't find anything either, just sewing materials and expensive fabrics. After looking around in vain, the men left the store, leaving you and the judge alone:
“I apologize for this inconvenience.” He said as you went to the moulage to finish the dress.
“You shouldn't believe every rumor out there, Your Honor, not all of them can be true.” You said politely. “but apologies accepted, I know it was for the good of Paris and you care a lot about the city.”
Returning to work, you thought he would leave after all that had happened and notice you "busy" sewing, but no, he stayed in the store while walking slowly around analyzing his surroundings:
“This basement...” He pointed to the carpet above the small door. “Why was it hidden?”
“I don't see the need to show everyone that I have a basement here.” You replied nonchalantly. “and besides, I think that old door would spoil the pretty look of my store.”
Frollo didn't seem to believe in that very much, but you shrugged and continued sewing. There were a few seconds of silence, you could only hear his footsteps coming towards you and could feel that man's gaze on you all the time, causing you a certain nervousness or fear. What did he want anyway?
“Do you want anything else?” you asked in an attempt to break the silence and take your mind off the discomfort of feeling his gaze on you, stopping your sewing and looking at him now.
“I just want you to know.” He said, standing close and looking at her with disgust. “I'll keep an eye on you, I won't trust a literate, single woman so easily... I know women of your kind.”
“I don't think who I am or what I do has anything to do with helping... Ouch!” You interrupted yourself with pain when you felt the needle pierce your finger. It was normal for this to happen when were working with sewing, but it had never been this deep, Maybe it happened because of the anger you was feeling at that moment.
Immediately you dropped the needle out of sheer instinct, and in a quick and daring moment Frollo grabbed your hand with a certain amount of force, bringing it in front of his face, which had a small smile of satisfaction on it. The judge was a sadomasochist, he enjoyed seeing someone in pain, especially when it was someone he thought deserved such a punishment. You were shocked by his attitude, you weren't expecting it and didn't know how to react. What was he doing? Frollo continued to hold your hand, watching the small drop of blood ooze from your pricked finger, but his attention wasn't just there, it was on your fingers, your soft skin and the sensation it brought when you touched it with the contact of the warm hand and his, which was a little cold:
“What are you doing?” You asked, with a bit of hatred for such a vulgar and daring attitude, and he laughed a little.
“What would the church think of a woman exposing her bare hands in front of a high-ranking man like me?” You had no reaction for fear. Gradually his fingers entwined in yours and you saw that his eyes went to your small cleavage and your bare shoulders. “And it's not just your hands that are exposed...”
You quickly pulled your hand free and he looked at you incredulously:
“My hands are only exposed because I can't wear gloves when I sew, and you still don't have the right to do that. It's in the Bible; If your eye or your hand causes you to sin, throw it away!” A small smile came to Frollo's face when he heard that.
“So bold... It's typical of women like you to turn away from guilt in order to confuse men's minds with pagan thoughts, but that doesn't matter any more...”
He walked away, heading for the door to leave, but first his attention turned to you:
“It was a nice chat, seamstress... I want you to make me a cloak and sew me a pair of gloves, I'll be expecting you to deliver them tomorrow night.”
After saying that, he left, leaving you with no reaction to what had just happened. You were angry, but at the same time relieved that he hadn't found out. As soon as he left, you stared at your hand, which he touched and intertwined with his large, thin fingers. You'd have to be more careful now, he'd be stalking you and the reason wouldn't just be because he suspected you of helping the Romani people, it would be because of something else and you know exactly what it was and what his intentions were...
End...
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novelmonger · 1 year
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His tomorrow never came, and when she saw him next, he lay there looking so serene and noble, it seemed as if it must be well with him, for all the pain was past; temptation ended; doubt and fear, hope and love, could no more stir his quiet heart, and in solemn truth he had gone to meet his Father, and begin again.
- Rose in Bloom by Louisa May Alcott
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lendeah · 4 months
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Three times you take care of Astarion and one time he takes care of you
[ao3 link]
You were a caring person. That much was clear from the first moment you let him drink off you, almost to death. It was also clear when you tried to cool Karlach down with a rainy spell so you could hug her. Or give Gale every piece of magic item in your inventory so he could eat it. You enjoyed taking care of people.
However, taking care of Astarion wasn't an easy task. As much as you wanted to be there for him and help him, the vampire was a difficult person to handle. He was like a wild animal, constantly on edge and ready to lash out. It soon became clear that Astarion wasn't used to being on the receiving end of caring. Wasn't used for someone to care at all.
So you went little by little, as to not startle him. You started by simply spending time with him. Patiently listening to his endless complaints and blatant flirting, offering a sympathetic ear and a playful response, respectively. It was clear that Astarion enjoyed your company, even if he didn't always show it. He would often make snarky comments or sarcastic remarks, but you could tell that deep down, he appreciated having someone around.
Of course, you let him drain you dry every night, which honestly left you sick and tired through the day, but it was worth the glint in his eyes and the way his cheeks seemed to light up as if he was alive again.
You couldn't help but notice; he always had a book in his hands. Whether you were at camp or out on an expedition, he was constantly reading. So you began collecting every book you stumbled upon and leaving them on his bedroll for him to find when he returned to his tent. No matter the genre- whether it was a history book, poetry or even erotica- you always gifted them to him.
The first times, he would search around the camp in confusion, wondering who had left them there for him. But after the fifth or sixth book, the vampire's expression would light up with a secretive smile as he eagerly flipped through the pages. It warmed your heart to see him so engrossed in a story, his curiosity evident in his shining eyes. However, you kept your identity hidden: if he knew it was you leaving the books, he might become wary again and you didn't want to risk it after coming this far. This went on for a few weeks until one day, as you were leaving another book, a voice called out from behind you.
"Well, hello there. I suppose the game is up."
You froze, the book still in your hands, as you turned around to see Astarion standing with a sly smile on his face.
"I... erm, I just found these books lying around and thought they might be yours," you said lamely.
He smirked, eyes narrowing as if he saw right through your excuses. "Funny, I don't recall owning any of these books you are holding."
You blushed, avoiding his gaze. "Oh...I must have made a mistake then."
But Astarion just shook his head, walking closer to you until he was within arm's reach. "You think I don't know what you're doing? You haven't exactly been subtle, sweetheart."
You felt your face heat up even more, the blush reaching your ears.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," you said, trying to sound nonchalant but failing miserably as your voice came out a little squeaky.
Astarion chuckled. "Well, if I didn't know any better, I might suspect that you were trying to seduce me. If you wanted to come into my tent, all you had to do was ask, my dear."
"I-It... It's not like that!" you sputtered out, trying to avoid eye contact with him. "I just thought... you like reading."
"Oh, I do," Astarion said in a low voice. "Among other things."
You swallowed hard as your mind raced. Had he just... Was he implying what you thought he was implying?
"I-I should really get going," you said quickly, turning away from him and almost tripping over your own feet.
But before you could run off, Astarion's hand closed around your wrist, pulling you back towards him. "Wait," he said, his eyes locked onto yours. His expression was a bit serious, a stark contrast to the playful persona he usually wore. "Thanks for the effort. It's almost sweet, doing all this for me."
The two of you stood there for a moment longer before Astarion spoke up again.
"Perhaps we could have a little fun and read them together sometime?" he suggested with a raised eyebrow.
You smiled shyly at him, feeling butterflies in your stomach at his offer.
"I... I would love that," you said, trying to keep the excitement out of your voice.
Astarion's smile widened and he released your wrist. "Wonderful. I look forward to it, my dear. And I do hope the next book is a good one."
You walked away from his tent, trying to convince yourself that the thumping of your heart was simply due to your love for taking care of others.
With each passing day, your meetings with Astarion in his tent became a familiar routine. You allowed him to feed on you, then spent time reading together from the books you had collected for him. It was also a chance for you to study him closely, searching for any other way to care for him. One night, as he read aloud to you, the soothing sound of his voice lulled you into a peaceful slumber, curled up on his bedroll next to him. The next morning, as sunlight flooded the tent, you woke up to find Astarion already awake, holding a book in his hands.
"Good morning," you said, rubbing the sleep off your eyes. "Sorry I fell asleep here."
Astarion raised an eyebrow at you. "No need to apologize. I must say, you look quite lovely when you're sleeping. Although you do not sound that lovely, but well, we can't all be perfect."
You rolled your eyes, then sat up stretching your limbs. As you glanced around the room, your eyes landed on the book in his hand - the one you two had been reading last night. It was almost finished now.
"Wait, you haven't slept?"
He let out a soft laugh.
"My dear, I am an elf. We do not sleep; we trance. And to answer your inquiry, no, I did not partake in that either. It's not something I typically find enjoyable."
You looked at Astarion with confusion and concern. "But... why? Don't you need to rest?"
He gave a casual shrug. "If I enter into a trance, the only memories accessible to me are my own life experiences. And let me tell you, those are not pleasant memories."
"But isn't there a way for you to... just rest? Without the memories, I mean?" You asked.
Astarion smirked, his eyes still fixed on the book in his hands. "Why bother learning how to sleep when I can trance instead?" he quipped "Trancing has always been my preferred method anyway."
You couldn't imagine what it was like, being forced to relive your trauma over and over again every night.
"I’m so sorry, Astarion," you whispered, your voice barely above a hush.
He waved his hand dismissively. "Oh well," he said, "It's all in the past now, isn't it? Just another part of who I am."
You nodded slowly but you couldn’t shrug off his words as easily as he could. You recalled the way he looked when he was trancing - peaceful and unguarded. It was hard to imagine that behind those serene features he was being haunted by his memories.
The day was a blur, as you struggled to maintain a cheerful facade and engage in small talk. However, Astarion's words continued to haunt you. As the evening progressed and you both followed your usual nightly routine, you made a decision to do something.
"Astarion." He turned to you, a curious look on his face. You took a deep breath, trying to gather your courage."I think we could try something different tonight. Do you trust me?"
Astarion looked at you as though surprised by the question, a hint of amusement twinkling in his eyes.
"Trust is a strong word, darling," he replied, a smirk forming on his lips. "But yes, I suppose I do trust you."
"Good," you said, trying to keep your voice steady despite the pounding of your heart.
You cleared your throat as you settled into the bedroll, signaling for him to join you. Astarion raised an eyebrow but followed your lead, settling into the bedroll beside you.
"Rest your head on my lap," you instructed softly
Astarion's eyebrows shot up once more, but then he shrugged and followed your instructions. He cautiously rested his head on your lap, surprising you with his compliance. Sensing the tension in his body, you refrained from touching him yet, and instead reached for your bag. He watched you curiously as you took out a small jar.
"What's that?" he asked, his eyes glinting with intrigue.
"It's a special blend of herbs and oils that I use to help me relax and sleep better," you explained, opening the tub and taking out a small dab of the mixture. "Can I touch you?"
He seemed to hesitate for a few seconds, before he answered, "Yes you may."
You rubbed the mixture between your fingers before gently massaging it onto his temples and forehead. You could feel him tense under your touch, probably not used to this kind of contact.
"Does it help?" he asked quietly, his eyes closed.
"It helps me," you replied honestly. "I'm not sure if it'll have the same effect on you, but I figured it's worth a try."
He nodded, a small smile forming on his lips. "Thank you."
"You're welcome," you replied, smiling back down at him. "Now just close your eyes and try to relax. Let your thoughts drift you away."
Astarion blinked, his long lashes fluttering against his pale skin. He looked at you with a mix of surprise and skepticism, clearly hesitant to follow your lead. But he didn't protest, didn't push your hands away. Instead, he nodded slightly, closing his eyes once more.
You watched him closely, noticing how the tension in his jaw gradually subsided and the creases on his forehead smoothed out little by little. You continued gently massaging his temples, the rhythmic movements soothing both of you.
The change in his demeanor prompted a fluttering sensation in your stomach that you hastily shrugged away, reminding yourself not to read too much into it.
Eventually, you started running your fingers through his hair and Astarion let out a contented hum, adjusting himself slightly in response. You could have sworn he was purring, and it seemed like he had fallen into a deep slumber.
By the end of the night, you were asleep with your hands still gently stroking his head.
From that moment, a subtle tension seemed to linger between the two of you. It was unspoken, but present every time you were alone together. Astarion would ask for your help to fall asleep each night, and without fail, he would drift off quickly and sleep soundly. You loved watching him relax under your touch, feeling his body go limp and his soft sleepy sounds. But more than that, you enjoyed drifting off with your fingers tangled in his soft curls, your heart feeling light and at ease in his presence.
However, the perils of your journey became worse as your party reached the Underdark. Your main concern became avoiding attacks from shadow monsters, leaving little room for any attention to whatever connection was building between you two.
One night, as you approached Astarion's tent, you noticed him sitting cross-legged in front of his small mirror. His brow was furrowed and his expression was one of deep contemplation. You hesitated for a moment, unsure if you should disturb him or not.
"Looking at something?" he suddenly asked.
You jumped slightly at the sound of his voice, not expecting him to break the silence.
"How did you see me?"
"The only benefit to a mirror when you have my condition. It doesn't quite make up for the lack of a reflection, mind you."
And then it clicked. He couldn't see his own reflection. Why hadn't it occurred to you before?
"Do you miss it? Your own face, I mean."
Of course he did, what a stupid question.
"Preening in the Looking Glass? Petty vanity?" Astarion scoffed, "Of course I miss it."
Astarion's tone was bitter, his gaze fixed on his reflection-less face in the mirror. You sat down next to him, mirroring his position.
"I've never even seen this face not since it grew fangs and my eyes turned red"
So he hadn't seen his face in over 200 years. You couldn't imagine what that must feel like. To not have seen your own face in over two centuries. To be unable to remember how it even looked like.
After your conversation, ideas began to circulate in your mind. You considered asking Gale to use his magic to transform your appearance to match his, but that would only be temporary. You wanted something more permanent that would allow him to admire his own face whenever he pleased. The thought of enchanting his mirror so that it would reflect his image crossed your mind. Surely there had to be a spell for that. However, time was limited and you were unsure how much you could dedicate to the task anyway. Then, an answer presented itself at the Last Light Inn when you encountered an artist on your way.
"How long would it take for you to paint a portrait?"
"Like, a month?"
"I will pay you triple if you finish it in a week."
Although the artist was hesitant, the promise of triple payment was too tempting for him to turn down. And so, a week later, you returned to Astarion's tent with a canvas in hand. He arched an eyebrow in question.
"What is this?" Astarion asked, gesturing towards your offering. "Another gift? At this rate, my tent will be overflowing with your generosity."
You grinned and gently set the canvas on the floor in front of him. A delicate, sheer fabric covered its surface.
"This is a special one, though."
His eyes glossed over with a mixture of curiosity and amusement as he leaned forward to unwrap it. An expectant silence filled the tent, the only sound being the rustle of fabric as he carefully lifted the veil. The sight that greeted his gaze left him momentarily speechless - an exquisitely painted portrait of a man, elegantly handsome with sharp, angular features and piercing red eyes.
"What is this?" Astarion asked with a chuckle, clearly admiring the artwork."You've given me a portrait of a handsome stranger? How thoughtful, dear. But the quality could be better, honestly."
Your heart pounded in your chest as you whispered, "That's you," holding your breath for his reaction.
There was a tense moment of silence as Astarion stared at the portrait. You couldn't quite read his expression, and your heart started to race with anxiety. Had you made a mistake? Was he displeased with the gift? Maybe you were intruding too much in his personal life...
After what felt like an eternity, Astarion finally spoke. "This is... me?" His voice was barely above a whisper, almost disbelieving.
You nodded, tears welling in your eyes.
"Yes. I wanted you to have something that would allow you to see yourself again, so I asked an artist at the Last Light Inn to paint you."
His fingers traced over the painting, brushing lightly over the likeness of his own face, his own eyes - red now - but still his. He took a step back as if he'd been hit, staggering slightly. There was a moment where he just stood there, staring at the man in the portrait - at himself.
"Is this... is this how I look now?" He asks, voice barely audible.
You swallowed hard and nodded, "Yes."
"I..." he started, then stopped. Shaking his head, he turned towards you with a conflicted look in his red eyes. "I... don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything," you told him reassuringly, reaching out to squeeze his hand.
He looked at you for a long moment before nodding and squeezing your hand back. A tear trickled down his cheek and he quickly wiped it away, but not before you saw it glistening in the dim light.
"Thank you," he said finally. It's quiet, almost lost in the silence of the tent, but the sincerity in his voice is unmistakable. You smiled at him, feeling a wave of relief and happiness wash over you.
"You're welcome," you whispered softly.
Astarion's crimson eyes shimmered with tears as he gazed at the painting, struggling to maintain his composure. You gave him a reassuring smile before turning around to give him some space to process his thoughts and feelings. But just as you were about to leave, he reached out and took hold of your hand, stopping you.
"Don't go" he said solemnly. "Please don't go... I'd like to... I want..." slowly, he stepped closer to you and wrapped his arms around you in a tight hug.
You were taken aback for a moment but then quickly melted into his embrace. After a moment of silence, the vampire spoke softly, his voice raspy.
"I don't know... how to repay you, I..." he murmured into your hair.
"You don't have to," you whispered back, feeling overwhelmed by his sudden display of emotion.
After what felt like an eternity, Astarion finally pulled away slightly so that he could look into your eyes. His eyes were moist with tears, but they also held a glimmer of hope, happiness. You couldn't help but smile back at him, feeling a wave of warmth spread throughout your body from the simple touch. And in that moment, you realized just how deeply you had fallen for this man. It wasn't just a matter of caring anymore; you were deeply and irrevocably in love with him.
And you would tell him, you decided. You would let him know that he didn't owe you anything because you had acted out of love. Your heart pounded in your chest, adrenaline rushing through your veins. His eyes were still on yours, searching, questioning.
"Astarion...," you started, your voice soft and filled with emotion, "I need to tell you... I..."
However, just as you were about to spill your heart, the sound of someone calling for you pierced through the quiet atmosphere of the tent. With a sigh, you reluctantly untangled yourself from Astarion's arms.
"I'm afraid that's my cue."
He gave a silent nod, his eyes reflecting a mix of conflicting emotions.
"Sure, sure. Wouldn't want to interrupt your exciting duties as our esteemed leader."
You rolled your eyes with a small smile and got out of the tent. However, there was a feeling of disappointed and regret for not being able to express your true feelings to him. You made a mental note to tell him later when you had the chance.
But that night, Astarion didn't come to his bedroll. Nor the next one. Or the one following. You sensed he was putting some distance between you as if something had changed. He continued with his blatant flirting and sly remarks, of course. They just seemed... mechanical. Every time you tried to talk about your feelings, he would deflect or change the subject. Days turned into weeks and still nothing changed between you two. Astarion remained distant and aloof while you struggled with your own emotions, feeling confused and rejected.
One morning, you woke up with a heavy weight on your chest. You initially dismissed it as the usual feeling of sadness that had been lingering for a week now. But after a whole day of choking on your own breath and dizziness, mixed with a deep pounding in your head, you knew this wasn’t the case. Despite your condition, you pushed through the day, determined not to be seen as weak or unreliable by your group.
However, as time passed, it became increasingly difficult to hide your worsening state from everyone else. Your coughing spells were becoming more frequent, and your body was weakening rapidly. You could sense Astarion's worried stare on you from time to time, but he never approached you to inquire about your condition.
That all changed one morning when you couldn't even muster the strength to get out of bed. Your entire body was in pain and your fever was soaring. You heard footsteps approaching your bedrolls and prepared yourself for one of your companions coming to check on you (or more likely, tell you off). However, it was Astarion's smirking face that came into view.
"Well, well, well," he said with a teasing tone, "Seems like our fearless leader is not feeling so fearless anymore. Feeling lazy today, are we?"
You managed to roll your eyes, laying your arm back over them to shield from the morning sunlight peering in through a hole in the tent. "If by lazy you mean sick, then yes." Your voice was weak and raspier than usual. You coughed into your arm, the action causing your body to shake and shudder with discomfort.
"Hmm..." Astarion's voice was no longer teasing. "That doesn't sound good, darling."
His gaze was intense when he leaned down to press his hand against your forehead. You suppressed a shiver at the unexpected coolness it brought and tried to turn away from him. He didn't let you, pushing your hair away from your face with his other hand.
"You're burning up," he said, moving away from you but not before you saw the worry flash briefly in his eyes. He stood up abruptly and started pacing around your bedroll, "What can I do?" He asked more to himself than you.
"Nothing… I just need… rest..." You managed to respond before another coughing fit washed over you.
Astarion shook his head "I'm going to get Shadowheart and Halsin. They will know what to do."
Astarion hurried out of the tent, and surely a few minutes later he came back bringing your two companions. As Halsin handed you the potion and Shadowheart casted her healing spells, Astarion's hand brushed against yours briefly before pulling away.
"Thank you," you whispered weakly before passing out.
A few hours later, after resting and drinking more disgusting beverages than you could count, your fever had finally subsided a bit and your coughing fits were less frequent. Astarion stayed by your side through the whole ordeal, a comforting silhouette against the flickering candlelight. You closed your eyes and felt his cold hand soothingly stroke your forehead. The cool, comforting touch of his skin against yours was a relief from the fever heat radiating off your body.
"Feel any better?" Astarion asked, raising an eyebrow.
You attempted a smile, "Well, I'm not dead yet."
His lips twitched in response, a semblance of his usual smirk flickering across his handsome face. "Good. That would be inconvenient for my dietary needs."
Despite feeling weak and exhausted, you couldn't help but chuckle. It was a welcome distraction from the constant throbbing pain in your head and rattling chest.
He shifted awkwardly on his seat next to you, looking almost hesitant, before he started speaking again. "I... I was scared of losing you," he admitted, "And I have to confess something."
His usually confident and cocky demeanor was replaced with an almost childlike uncertainty.
"What is it?" You asked, your voice still weak but full of concern.
He sighed heavily before meeting your gaze.
"I had a nice simple plan; to manipulate your feelings so you'd never turn on me. And honestly, I thought it would be so easy, with you being so open, so eager to care for everyone..." He frowns, "But that is the thing. You are so kind, so thoughtful. No one's ever cared for me the way you have. And... I don't know how to handle it."
You reached out and grasped his hand, squeezing it gently. "I understand," you said softly. "It's not easy to let someone take care of you, but you don't have to push me away. You deserve love and happiness just like everyone else."
He nodded, his grip on your hand tightening slightly. "I want to try," he said, determination flickering in his gaze. "I want to let you take care of me. And I want to take care of you, if you let me."
You smiled at him, feeling a warmth spread through your chest at his words.
"Of course. But first, I feel like I need to tell you something too." You took a deep breath before continuing, "I...I think I'm falling in love with you."
He looked at you puzzled, before letting out a loud laugh.
"Oh, my love. I already knew."
You were taken aback by his words. "What? You did?"
He rolled his eyes "Dear, you were hardly subtle about it. A portrait? Essential oils? Come on..."
You couldn't help but laugh at his response, feeling relieved and embarrassed all at once.
"I guess I'm not as sneaky as I thought," you said, shaking your head.
"But I'm not better." He leaned in closer, his lips hovering just inches from yours. "I've been falling for you since the moment you started leaving books on my bedroll."
With that, he closed the distance between you and pressed his lips against yours in a soft kiss. It was like a spark igniting, sending waves of electricity through your body. In that brief moment, all the emotions and tensions that had been building between you seemed to dissipate into thin air. The softness of his lips against yours was like a warm embrace, melting away any doubts or fears you may have had.
When you both pulled away, you rested your forehead against his and whispered, "You are going to get ill now."
He chuckled, "How fortunate I am already dead then."
Yet, in that moment, the gleam of his eyes made him seem more alive than you had ever seen him.
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trying-harder-then-u · 5 months
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Johnny's Daddy
Johnny has been my friend since forever, and while we grew apart in High school, we would always make sure to comfort each other through all the tough times. He helped me with my breakup, and I helped him when he lost his job.
Johnny was always on the smaller side; Puberty Hit never really got to him, and while he never got the muscles he wanted, he eventually became quite happy with his body and my numerous numerous offers to wing man him and help him get a girl were always turned down.
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Earlier today, my phone pinged while I was at work. Johnny had messaged me:
"Hey man, could you come to my place after work?"
"Sure? What do you need?"
"I'll explain when you get here."
Me and Johnny had always been open and clear without ever really needing to talk outside of texts, so I thought this must be something big if he wanted to talk about it at his place, so after work finished up, I got in my car and drove to his apartment in the city. After a good 50 minutes of driving through the winding roads, I finally arrived.
As I opened the door, he came and hugged me. "How was the drive?" "Nothing special, just some traffic jams and that stuff," I responded. For the first few hours, we just hung out talking about life and playing games before I finally asked why he wanted me here: "Well, I wanted to tell you I was gay." he blushed as he said it, "Damn man, thanks for telling me; I'm glad you trusted me enough to tell me, do you want to go to a gay bar or  something?"He shook his head at my question: "You don't understand; I've been trying to get a boyfriend for awhile now, but it never works out, and I wanted to ask you if...." "I'm sorry, man," I interjected. "I love you like a brother, but I don't feel the same way about you." "Okay, sorry, I hope we can still be friends," Both of us laughed awkwardly at the incident, but decided to hang out some more. At about 6, we were both getting hungry, so he ordered a pizza, and he got up to grab us a drink. I heard what sounded like pills rattling in the kitchen before he returned with some beers, caps removed. "Thanks, man," I said as he handed me one. Taking a sip, I thought it tasted funny, but I just shrugged it off as the pizzas had just arrived and i was starving.
As we ate and played video games, it became latter and latter, and the beers piled up, each tasting stranger, then the last. At some point, my mind started to became fuzzy. "Ugh, I don't feel good," i said. "You don't look good either. Maybe you should just sleep here for the  night."Johnny commented, Too tired to argue, I ended up on his couch and fell asleep quickly as he went back to the room. "You'll be fine; I bet you feel like a new man tomorrow morning," he called as he closed the door.
That night, as I shuddered in my sleep, my body began to change, moving around as my stature grew, stretching from 5 feet 8 to 6,2. My flab melted away as my skin tightened around new abs that began to push out one by one, and calves became strengthened along with arm muscles. My round face gained structure as a square jaw and clear skin gave my face a new, more attractive look. But it wasn't just my body changing; my dreams began to shift; thoughts that I used to have about women became directed towards Johnny; as I dreamed of dominating and using him, the apartments that we each had eventually became one, just as my place had his boyfriend cemented, and soon I was picturing him submitting to me every night. As these dreams peaked, I felt my dick pulse, lines of cum shooting out as my rock-hard cock lengthened, growing longer and longer inside my underwear from it's normal 4 inches to a monstrous 9, and my boxers turning to briefs as they were soaked in my semen. The transformation was over, and my new place in the world was confirmed.
The next morning, Johnny smirked as he walked in to be greeted by me staring at him in nothing but my briefs. "I have a job for you, boy; I need some services," I commanded, His dick jumped up, and his body shuddered as he moved towards me. All memories of my past life disappeared as he wrapped his lips around my dick; all that mattered was teaching my boyfriend his place.
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hedgehog-moss · 6 months
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I meant to go admire a frozen waterfall yesterday, but I'm scared of driving on slippery roads so I ended up abandoning my car and my dreams and just wandering about by foot, following random roads.
(These first two photos are a little bit blurry because I took them while walking, but it does give them a certain je ne sais quoi... They look like childhood memories)
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The soles of my boots had zero grip and were therefore great for sliding, so I ended up taking two sticks and using them like cross-country skiing poles to propel myself forward on the iciest portions of the road. It was fun! Pandolf thought I was insane. He was being extremely prudent on the icy patches, testing each step:
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At the beginning of our walk he was prancing as usual but then at one point his front paws slipped forward without warning, turning him into a very long slinky dog. It was pretty funny. I laughed. I admit. He wasn't hurt but definitely a bit vexed.
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We did leave the icy road on numerous occasions, to slip under fences and cross promising pastures (promising = lots of footprints; potential friends.) We met several creatures! Like this adorable shetland pony—I tried to take a photo from afar, with Pandolf nearby for scale, to show how scandalously tiny he was, but that turned out to be impossible because he was too friendly. Every time I took a step back he took two steps forward. Clearly he thought he was even better-looking from up close.
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We also ran into the darling goat I mentioned yesterday, and I was told by several people on here that she looked more like a ewe.
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Sorry for the mistake! But also I tried to look further into this and became more and more confused, as every source that mentioned a foolproof way to tell goats from sheep was disproven by another source—I found one that said sheep had a split upper lip while goats didn't (and my mystery friend didn't), but then another website contradicted it. I ended up with 32 tabs open with photos of goats and sheep of all kinds, some of which looked downright bizarre (what's with the Jar Jar Binks ears), and I began losing my grasp on the concept of animal species altogether. I understood how Darwin must have felt when he tried to figure out the differences between species of barnacles and asked people to send him various specimens and ended up with giant teetering piles of wet smelly boxes full of barnacles in his study that threatened to collapse and bury him alive. Then I closed my 32 tabs.
Honestly ever since learning that some sheep have horns and some goats don't, I've been lost. Not to mention, our mystery girl had a sheep-like tail but a goat-like beard. Are there sheep out there with beards and if yes, how do we make sense of the world? We should be able to point at a mammal with a goatee and say "goat" without doubting ourselves. That's my manifesto.
Whatever she was, the goat-ewe was very sweet, and she baa-ed a lot—at first I thought she was making conversation and I politely baa-ed back, before realising she was calling her horse bodyguards, just in case. Two horses soon showed up from behind a tree, very "What seems to be the problem ma'am?"
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I offered nose scritches to the friendliest of the two and she went to report to the goat like "We've neutralised the threat."
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Let me insert another (blurry) photo of a travelling Pandolf to symbolise the passing of time before moving on to our last encounter:
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... I also had trouble taking photos of this one at first, because she kept coming closer to inspect my scarf—I thought she wanted to explore my pockets for potential treats like Pirlouit often does but no, she was very interested in the smell (texture?) of my scarf specifically.
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The sky had cleared as we went down from 1300 to 1100m, as if we'd slipped under the clouds, so I tried to take a photo of this nice late-afternoon sky, and the horse finally stopped focusing on my scarf and instead started insistently positioning herself between me and my beautiful landscape.
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Look at this lovely golden light in the snow over there which I was almost able to capture!
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Meanwhile her pasture mate was eating a whole broom plant, slowly and thoughtfully, which makes me jealous because my llamas are supposed to eat brooms and they mostly don't, they think they're too good for brooms. They eat the very young ones but not adult brooms, so I have to do the work of three llamas and cut them myself. I wish I could send the Pampses as interns in this pasture, to learn the art of brush-clearing from this wise old horse.
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I tried to take one last landscape photo and gave up when the aspiring model came to pose again.
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Where was Pandolf, you might ask? Pandolf doesn't trust horses, especially large farm horses, and was quietly and insistently trying to convince me to leave. When Model Horse tried to greet him (it looks like she's chasing him but no, she was just stretching her neck to sniff him) he beat a hasty retreat toward the icy road, his former enemy. Some guard dog.
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It may sound like Pandolf didn't have a very fun time on this walk, slipping on ice and running from horses, but don't worry, he found plenty of suitable empty pastures to practise his favourite hobby! Though I think at this point he has moved beyond a hobbyist and is ready to play in professional leagues. He does this thing now where he jumps up a bit to gain momentum; I don't remember him doing this last winter. He's an entirely self-taught dog (in the art of snow diving) and I'm proud of him.
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discopaddock · 3 months
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I DON'T WANNA TALK - CHARLES LECLERC
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SUMMARY: charles is mad after the bad race, what can go wrong after screaming at his girlfriend?
PAIRING: charles leclerc x fem!reader
GENRE: angst with happy (???) ending
WORD COUNT: 0.9k
WARNINGS: screaming, crying, charles is mad, traumatizing childhood and parent, ENGLISH ISN'T NY FIRST LANGUAGE
AUTHOR'S NOTE: hiya, was inactive for a (longer) moment, school still sucks, inspiration is taking offence at me and history at school does kill me right now fr (we started the great war recently and watched im westen nichts neues - i hate this kind of films). anyway this was based in this request.
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Charles was angry. No, he was furious.
Race didn't go well. He had to retire after Perez touched him and he ended up in the wall.
Race was good, for two laps he was even leading but then the Mexican showed up and Charles’ good race said “bye bye”.
“Charles,” his girlfriend said after they were finally in their hotel room.
He wasn't in the mood for talking. He didn't want her pity. He wanted to take a shower (another one) and scream in his pillow.
The girl was looking at him, worried. This wasn't the state she has seen him for many times. It was the first time actually.
“I don't wanna talk” he answered only and grabbed some clothes of his and entered the bathroom.
“If you’d like to-” she started but he turned around to face her with anger written on his face, panting.
“Shut up!” Charles yelled at her and entered the bathroom. She was left speechless. There were tears forming in her eyes that started falling down when she heard the slam of the door.
Oh, she really didn't want it to come back.
Life was good, great even, then those memories came to her mind, causing another session of crying.
The girl had no idea what to do.
Her eyesight wasn't so clear as she was looking for the tissues, convinced that her make up was smeared as hell.
When she finally found some in her bag, she next jumped on the bed and covered herself with the blanket.
Her heart was hurt, it didn't crack in shatters but still it hurt as hell.
She felt like that seven year old girl, who was standing in front of her father, crying because he yelled at her.
She was screamed at because of trying to make her dad come to terms with her beloved mother.
It was too much for little Y/N. It hunted her for years.
Especially now, when her and Charles were trying everything to have a baby. She was frightened she became the same as her father and her child would have to experience the same case as she had.
And now it was too much for adult Y/N.
She knew she should meet her therapist as soon as she could but she couldn't since she was travelling with her boyfriend around Asia for the next two weeks and her therapist wasn't doing online appointments.
And there she was, still lying on her side of the king-size bed covered with a blanket and still crying.
Charles wasn't aware of his girlfriend's reaction to his behaviour until he left the bathroom, all showered and with a clear mind, and heard sobs in the room.
He sighed only and went to the bed and took a seat beside the girl. He carefully took off the blanket of her face and saw her with smeared make up, red eyes and runny nose.
She didn't want to talk with him and put her head in the pillow, so he couldn't look at her.
“I'm sorry-” he started but her hushed by the pillow voice interrupted him with:
“I don't wanna talk.”
So Charles didn't talk more but kissed her head quickly and left to the living room, to give her space he knew she needed.
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The next hour went, well, silent.
Y/N wasn't sobbing anymore, just blowing off her nose and coughing from time to time. Charles at the other hand was thinking about his new song and was trying to write any notes but he lacked at stave paper and at any keyboard or piano.
The girl finally got out of the bed and entered the bathroom. She grabbed some cotton pads and put micellar water on it and began to remove her make up.
It was a heavenly feeling for her, since her eyelids were sticking to each other because of the mascara.
Next she grabbed some cleaning foam and removed the rest of the cosmetics and put on the cream.
The girl left the bathroom and went to Charles who was sitting on the couch with some folded paper around.
He heard her steps and turned around to see her face.
“Ready to talk?” he asked only and she nodded, then sat beside him. “I'm sorry, truly” he said, looking into her eyes, that he loved so much. Now they were puffed and red from the crying.
“I know” she answered and hugged him like a koala. Charles wrapped his arms around her body, without saying any words.
“What happened?” the man asked, rubbing her back with his palm. “Tell me, I'm not leaving this without any explanation,” he added in a calm tone.
The girl was silent for a few moments. But then she told him only:
“Father was screaming at me for trying to help.”
Charles was speechless. He knew his girlfriend’s relationship with her father wasn't good, but he didn't know it was that bad. He never asked since her mother told him not to for the girl's mental state.
“I'm sorry, dove. I'm so sorry” he whispered to her ear, trying to comfort her the best he could.
“I don't want to be like him” she mumbled in the crock of his neck and he sighed.
“You are not like him,” he assured her. “You will never be like him,” he added and kissed her temple. “You are a better person than him, dove.”
“I love you” she mumbled.
“I love you too” she whispered back and they remained silent for the rest of the night, cuddled in each other’s arms.
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vivwritesfics · 2 months
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Set The World On Fire
Chapter Eight
Lando Norris had been incredibly angry when they met. Incredibly angry, but sweet enough to help her. Turns out he just needed somebody to talk to, somebody to be there for him.
He was easy to fall for, and that put her in a world of danger
Mafia AU
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There wasn't much time for anything when they got back from the wedding. Lando drove her to her apartment and parked the car outside. "You coming up?" She asked as she ran her fingers through his hair.
Lando let out a breath and dropped his hands from the steering wheel. "I should go home," he muttered. "Make sure the old man hasn't croaked."
"Lan," she whispered, her head falling onto his shoulder. "Do you want me to come with you?"
He shook his head. "I'll take you to the house one day, but not today," he said.
She kissed his cheek. "Call me later, yeah?" She asked as she pushed open the door. Lando nodded his head, turning to watch as she grabbed her things out of the trunk. He waved through the window as she headed into the apartment.
Lando didn't wait to see if she'd come to the window. He drove off as soon as she went inside.
His drive to his house was silent. He hadn't felt like this since that night that Carlos had turned up in his kitchen. The night he had met her.
Lando parked his car on the grass and got out with little regard for the tyre marks he'd left on the lawn. He marched into the house and up the stairs.
"Lando!" Shouted Will, his right hand man, but Lando ignored it as he headed up to his fathers room.
The condition he had left his father in hadn't been a good one, but, when Lando walked into his room, he saw nothing more than a corpse. He hated that he was surprised when his father opened his eyes. "You look like shit," said Lando as he sat beside his bedside.
His father coughed. "Is it done?"
"Are you asking me if they're married?" He asked, his hands in his pockets as he leaned back.
"Yes."
Lando released a breath. "They're married, yeah," he said and his father let out a disgruntled noise. "What?" He asked and resisted the urge to kick the legs of the bed frame.
"If I had the chance, I would have married you off before you became the head of the family," he said.
Lando froze. If his father had married him off to someone, it would have been someone from another family. Like how his sister had been married off to Carlos, he would have been married off to Lance's sister, for example. (But this is a very bad example. Her father had allowed his children to find love on their own and get married in their own time).
"What if I've met someone?" He asked.
His father started laughing, but this soon led to coughing. He took a minute to clear his throat and looked at his son. "Does she know who you are? Does she know what you have done?" He asked, and Lando refused to answer. "It'll only get worse once you become head of the family," he said and laughed again.
When it turned into more coughing, Lando stormed out of the room. He stormed his way through the house, past his sisters room, which remained untouched, and into his office.
Lando was given two minutes of solitude. There were papers on his desk, but he didn't look through them. Not yet, anyway. Instead he pulled out his phone.
There hadn't been many opportunities for photographs in Spain, but she had found them. She had set his phone up against the window as they stood on the balcony, using the timer to get a picture of them with the sunset behind. There were pictures Lando didn't know she had taken, with half of her face visible as she grinned at the camera, him sleeping behind her.
How could he ever admit to who he was, what he had done?
There was a knock on his office door. "Come in," Lando called as he locked his phone and slipped it into his pocket.
Will Joseph walked into the office, a stack of papers in his arms. He threw them down with the papers Lando already had to go through and sat opposite him. There was a beat of silence, but it wasn't uncomfortable.
Will spoke first. "Can I say something slightly out of sorts?" He asked and Lando nodded his head. He needed something out of sorts at that moment. "Your dad pulled me into his room," Will said. Still, Lando was nodding, but there was no meaning behind it. "He wants all of the responsibilities of the head of a family to be pushed onto you."
It wasn't a surprise to Lando, especially after the meeting he just had.
"Lando, I think he knows he's in his final few days."
That night, after going through just under half of the paperwork, Lando called her. He sat in his bed, his shirt unbuttoned but still on his body as he pressed his phone to his ear. They spoke for hours, until they both fell asleep with the call still going.
It was a better habit then calling up Max (Fewtrell) and dragging him to the club and drowning their sorrows.
It really was only a few days until his father passed away. Lando hated himself, but only because he didn't feel anything but dread. And that dread was because he had to call the Sainz family, so that he could let his sister know.
He didn't tell Y/N, didn't want her at the funeral. If he needed her support he would have asked for it. But he didn't want her around members of the Norris family, or members of other families, didn't want to put her at risk again.
The funeral was a bleak affair. Max (Fewtrell) had insisted on joining Lando at the funeral, being his support system. But Lando didn't need support for the funeral. He needed support when he became Norris, though.
Becoming the head of the family wasn't something that Lando wanted. For days he couldn't see Y/N, too buried beneath paperwork. He thought he had gotten through all of it before his fathers death, but Will just dumped more and more onto his desk.
He missed her. He really fucking missed. His texts to her were few and far between, but she didn't complain, didn't tell him she couldn't do this anymore.
After a week of sorting through paperwork his father had left for him, Lando was ready to put a bullet between his eyes. Instead, he pulled out his phone and sent her one quick text.
Landino 💗💗 Get dressed into something comfy, I'll be there in half an hour
He left his paper on his desk and got changed out of his suit. Instead he wore a black hoodie and sweats as he left the house, got into his car and drove to her apartment.
He parked up and looked towards her window. She had been waiting, looking out for his car. As soon as she saw it she pushed away from the window and left the apartment, making her way out to him. Lando watched as she crossed the street and climbed into the car.
She really had dressed comfy. In tartan pyjama pants and a thick, fluffy hoodie, she climbed into the passenger seat of the car and leaned over the centre console to kiss him. "Hi," she said as she sat back.
Lando grinned and began driving away. "I missed you," he said. His moments of vulnerability were rare, but he'd had plenty with her already. "Work has gotten kind of crazy lately."
"It's okay, I get it," she replied. He spared one glance at her to see her toe off her shoes and placed her feet on the edge of the seat.
That pulled a smile from his face, the fact that she was that comfortable with him already. "Where are we headed?" She asked as he turned left.
Lando sucked in a breath. "My mum's place."
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monarchberrysblog · 3 months
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𝔭𝔲𝔱𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔣𝔩𝔞𝔪𝔢𝔰 𝔬𝔲𝔱
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18+ Fireman! Miguel O’Hara x Chubby! Fem! Reader
Summary: After being hired into Station 29 and dealing with the fires in Nueva York, Miguel experiences soft and sweet love after saving someone from a burning building.
Trigger Warning ⚠️: Chubby! Female! Reader, soft fluff shit-- Miguel is 25, and the reader is 21 (a bit of an age gap). Mean? Dom! Miguel, words of affirmation, size difference got me like 😋. (OOC MIGUEL, JUST THROWING THAT OUT THERE)
Word Count: <1.0k words
Author’s Note: HEAR ME OUT PLS— This came to mind after chatting with a bot on character.ai. (original, I know) It makes me sad that the Miguel hype has been slowly dying down, but I will write about my husband until my obsession dies. (it's never going to die; please save me.) Also, if you see minors like this, please let me know 😗
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Who knew that getting fucked into a mattress by the fireman who saved you from a burning building was the answer to all of life’s problems?
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He slid his fingers out of you, then trailed said fingers up to your throat, soon lightly grasping onto your throat. The hold was firm but wasn't enough to choke anyone out. "You okay?" You glanced at him and could imagine the mess you left behind on his bedsheets. "…yeah." You gasped at him before you swallowed dryly and squirmed.
"Looks like you had some fires to put out." He chuckled, seeing the evident clear, slick against the silky bedsheets that were probably worth more than your weekly grocery shopping list. "I'm sorry." You whined to him. "No, no. It's okay, baby…" He gave your thigh a reassuring pat with his free hand. After patting your thigh, he moved his hand away from your throat and grasped onto the fat of your thigh. "Spread open for me…"
The sound of him unbuckling his belt and unzipping his pants is enough to make your mouth salivate in instinct by simply hearing the metal of his belt clink. “Every time I jerk off,” He pauses momentarily, but he continues when you feel a bulbous tip lightly tap at your fluttering entrance. “I think about how you taste, and I never last.”
A barely audible moan escapes from you, arching your back against the mattress. “Shh, shh, it's okay.” Miguel slowly pushes himself into you, taking the time to savor your wet, moist, gummy walls. “My god, you're so tight. Take deep breaths for me, okay?” The stretch of his girth is enough to drive anyone wild. With a shaky breath, you nodded, laid back on the bed, and relaxed. An audible groan from the back of your throat before it became a guttural groan deep from you diaphragm. “I know it hurts, I know…” He cooed to you.
It took all of his willpower not to hump you like an animal in heat. Instead, he allowed his tip to stay in your entrance. He brought his lips to your ear, whispering sweet nothings while you felt yourself getting stuffed more than a turkey on a Thanksgiving dinner. You propped yourself up on your elbows, just to see the sight below you. “You like to see? How dirty.”
He patted your fupa lovingly before he pushed down on the soft tummy. You took in deep breaths, trying to get him to fit in. “There we go. Can you see how you're taking my cock? You're taking it well…” The sound of a small queef filled the space, interrupting Miguel, causing you to hide your face with a nearby pillow, embarrassed of the noise. “It's okay, neña. It's cute.” You slowly peeked from the pillow, and you could see Miguel fighting demons in his soul to not laugh at the flatulent noise when he sunk himself in. “It's not funny, Miguel.” You huffed, feeling embarrassed. “No, it's not,” At this point, if Miguel dared to look at you, he would have started to laugh, but he didn't.
/
A groan escaped, feeling the sweet, delicious burn his girth offered. “Good girl,” He groaned before he got a hold of your hand. Miguel uses his free hand to move his hand from your fupa to grab onto the bed's headboard. “Look at you, eagerly moving down already. Don't overwhelm yourself, sweetheart.” He lightly quipped before a sharp inhale between his teeth broke his words. “Slow down there, baby…” You squirmed your hips down, and the delicious burn subsided to pleasure as a loud moan escaped from you, and Miguel let out a loud groan. “Ay, I told you to slow down, baby…” Ignoring Miguel’s wishes, you continued to sink into his length, enjoying how the vein on his length brushed against your puffy clit so slowly and deliciously.
“Ya te dije,” He shoved his entire length into you, nearly slamming you against the headboard. A loud whine filled his apartment, feeling his red, angry, bulbous tip kiss at your cervix. “Ya te dije, más lento.” The man firmly demanded. “It's what I want, not what you want.”
A few shaky breaths, along with a couple of forehead kisses, had you settled down on his length and wanted to continue. A whine escaped from you while you squirmed underneath him. Your pleading wasn't contributing to the situation well. “Please…” You pleaded. “Give me a minute…” Miguel strained out, slowly moving out and pushing himself back in. “Give me a minute, baby…” It was a chore for Miguel to be dominant when you made him fold in half like a lawn chair by seeing you slowly inching down on his length with such zealous energy.
The sight of the fireman who saved you from a burning building and is significantly taller than you got weak in the knees by being knees deep in your cooch. After a couple of moments and of you fluttering against his length, he slowly sunk inside of you and started to grind his tip against your cervix. A white ring began to form attached to the base of his cock, meaning that your juices and his precum have mixed and are already dripping off his length and onto the bed sheets underneath the two of you. The grinding soon turned into him thrusting his length entirely at a steady, slow pace.
His hands moved away from the headboard and gasp onto the back of your thighs. “I'm going to push your legs back a bit. Is that okay?” He groaned, keeping his pace the same. “Yeah…” You moaned out, feeling his push down be pinned down to the bed, not allowing you to see how he was moving. You tried your best to see him moving inside of you but gave up after you couldn't. “You wanted to keep seeing? Qué cochina.”
“I'll give you a sight to see…”
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If you saw any errors, no, you didn't. This is the first smut I've written in a while 😭
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dimepdf · 1 year
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★ 𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘, 𝐈'𝐌 𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐒. + 𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎
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masterlist. / taglist. / any request?
synopsis. you were a sucker for jealousy sex, man.
pairing. toji fushiguro x reader
genre and warnings. +18 nsfw under the cut. minors dni, established relationship, domestic fluff, dilf!toji, milf!reader, tattoos, jealousy sex, exhibitionish, Toji being childish, cowgirl position, hints of subby Toji | — feedback is always welcomed & don't forget to reblog 🤍 800+ w.c.
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Dilf!Toji who comes home from picking up Megumi and your daughter Nya from their kindergarten after-school activities. 
Toji scolds the two for running down the hallway as soon as the front door opens, their little pitters from their feet slapping against the wooden floor as they rush into the living room where you were lying snuggly just to tackle you into a hug. 
The two are all smiles and giggles as they kick off their sneakers and snuggle up next to you.
They were practically glowing with excitement, as if they hadn't seen you just hours before, on the same day you had taken them to school. "Mommy! Mommy! Can I show you what I made in art today?"
Despite posing the question, the girl had already started unzipping her bag and shuffling through the strange, cryptic amount of things she had packed inside of her small Hello Kitty backpack.
If you hadn't had quick enough reflexes, you'd have thought she was trying to take your eye out by shoving the bendy wire figure right into your face.
"Oh wow, honey, it looks so creative; I can tell you worked really hard on it." You honestly couldn't tell what it was—fuzzy purple, red, and green covered wires all bent into some sort of shape that you could only assume to be a figure, but you put on your best motherly smile for your child.
"It's you, mommy! Can you tell, I even gave it a big butt." When Toji came into the living room, slouching his shoulders on the back of the couch and leaning forward.
Looming over the exchange, you decided to change the direction of the conversation before he could get remotely lewd about his favorite body part of yours.
"Did you make anything, Megumi?" Despite not being your biological son, the coal-haired boy still showed the same amount of admiration for you as your own daughter did. 
But it was still very clear that Megumi had all of Toji’s attitude, with the boy showing no interest in his sister's show-in-tell and not even bothering to cover up his glare at her art project. "That looks like crap," Megumi states bluntly, earning a dramatic gasp from Nya. 
The girl held the figure to her chest as if she were protecting it from him.
"You look like crap." Toji teases, no better than the children. As the three start bickering back and forth with each other, you reach for the TV remote and pause the Netflix show that you were trying to binge.
It was like you were raising three kids, as the argument only became pettier by the second.
"Why don't you tell mommy about how Itaduri’s mom liked your tattoos?" Megumi shrugged, your brow furrowed in surprise as the two children abruptly switched teams to go against their father.
"Is that why she was touching your arm?" Nya asked naively, unaware that she had just unpinned a grenade.
Your palm pushed away Toji’s face as he tried to distract you with a kiss, curving him as you dug for more information between the two. "And what was daddy saying while she was touching his arm?"
“He said thank you.”
Now that you understood the cost of having a super hot husband, you weren't blind to Toji’s charm, but over the years of being in love with him, it was pretty easy to say that he was just blessed with his attractiveness.
Having women throw themselves at him was nothing new,it was just another daily problem added to the things that Toji had to go through. 
It's not like he entertained any of the women that came up to him because he truly only loves you, but that didn't mean that you weren't allowed to be a little needier sometimes.
Plus, he wasn't complaining much while lavishing you with affection. His hands lingered on your body long after the kids had fallen asleep for their naps. 
It was daring, having to straddle his lap on the couch in the family living room knowing that the kids could wake up at any moment, but for Toji.
It was just another goal he was willing to complete, seeing how fast he could make you cum in that circumstance.
Handing his hand down to your thighs, he gives them a squeeze as he catches his breath, watching you ride him with an admiring glint in his eye. "You're so fucking beautiful, you know that?"
"Really? more beautiful than that other bitch?" You knew Itadori’s mother wasn’t a bitch.
If anything, she was a kind lady who knew how to make really good brownies.
You’d probably scalp her if you ever saw her skirting with Toji again.
No hard feelings, but she should know better than to touch what was yours.
"So much—ah, you’re the most beautiful woman I know." Toji whimpered, reaching his tattooed hand in between and sharing some attention to your clit. 
You were a sucker for jealousy sex, man. 
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not me making another milf!reader man,,
6K notes · View notes
sinkovia · 4 months
Text
He's cheating, isn't he?
Price x Fem!Reader
Angst
As the weeks turned into months, you couldn't ignore the growing unease that had settled in your heart. It had started innocently enough, with Price getting up to take a phone call in the living room. At first, it didn't raise any suspicion, but it soon became a regular occurrence, happening every week, sometimes even multiple times within the week.
You knew deep down that Price would never cheat on you. His love for you was undeniable, and you were well aware of it. However, the constant disappearances for hours on end began to wear on your trust and your self-esteem.
Price would always tell you that he was just going to get groceries, but when he returned, there would only be one bag in his hand. It didn't make sense for him to be gone for hours just to bring back one bag of groceries.
The months went by, and the secret phone calls continued. With each instance, your patience wore thinner, and the restraint you had built was beginning to crumble. You couldn't help but feel that something wasn't right.
When you asked him about the calls, he only mumbled that it was work. But you couldn't help but wonder why he couldn't simply take those calls near you if they were indeed just work-related matters.
The increasing secrecy and lack of transparency were eroding your trust and leaving you with a growing sense of unease. It was clear that something was amiss, and you couldn't help but wonder who Price was hiding from you.
One day, as you lay with your head nestled in Price's lap, his fingers gently brushing through your hair, the soothing rhythm of his touch had started to lull you into a peaceful state. But that tranquility was abruptly interrupted when his phone rang, startling him.
Price quickly moved you off his lap to take the call. You felt a surge of anger bubbling up inside as he did, a sense of rejection and abandonment washing over you. You got up from the couch, the slow, deliberate steps taking you to your bedroom, where you leaned your ear against the door, desperate to eavesdrop.
Through the muffled sound, you heard Price's voice as he spoke on the phone. The words were unclear, but you strained to listen. There was a long pause, and then Price let out a sigh, a heavy and weighted sound that filled you with dread.
"...Four months..." Those two words hung in the air like a storm cloud, and your heart sank as you tried to make sense of what they meant.
It felt like the ground beneath you was slipping away, and you couldn't help but wonder if Price was planning on leaving you in four months, ending your relationship and moving on to someone else. Tears welled up in your eyes as you walked back to the couch, your mind racing.
The thought left you emotionally paralyzed, tears threatening to brim in your eyes as you walked away from the door, quietly retaking your spot on the couch. Your gaze fixed on the television, your mind racing. Price soon entered the living room and took a seat next to you, his concern evident in his voice.
"Love?"
You were lost in your thoughts, not immediately hearing him. It was only when he said your name that you snapped back to reality, forcing a smile and responding, "Sorry, hun, just daydreaming."
Price smiled and placed his hand over yours, "You know I love you, right? More than anything."
Your smile almost faltered, but you managed to keep up the facade, placing your hand over his and gently squeezing. "I know you do."
He kissed your forehead and you leaned your head back into his lap, his hand combing through your hair, while his attention shifted to the TV. But for you, everything else seemed to fade away.
You battled back tears and internal questions. Who was this other woman? When had Price started seeing her? What excuse would he make to end your marriage?
Over the next three months, you worked hard to keep up the facade. Occasionally, it would slip, and you'd find yourself crying in Price's arms, but you always made excuses, blaming it on cramps or a bad day. However, your heart was heavy with the uncertainty and fear of what might be coming.
However, one day during dinner, as you looked up from your plate, you saw blood trickling from Price's nose. Your eyes widened in alarm.
"Oh my god, hun, your nose is bleeding," Concern evident in your voice. Price raised his hand to his nose and saw the blood on his fingertips.
"I'm fine, sweetheart. Let me just clean it up," he assured you. As he got up from the chair, he suddenly collapsed to the ground. Panic set in as you rushed to his side.
"Give me a second; I'm going to get my phone and call 911," you said, running to the other room, your fingers trembling as you dialed for help.
You sat in the hospital room, holding Price's hand while he slept in the hospital bed. The tension was palpable, but you had no idea of the heavy news that was about to be revealed. The doctor entered the room, and you turned your attention to him, your heart already drumming in your chest.
"The tumor has grown significantly over the past three months," the doctor said, his voice laden with sorrow. "I'm very sorry to say, but he only has a few weeks, a month at best."
Your world froze as the words left the doctor's mouth. "What do you mean, tumor? What tumor are you talking about?" you asked in shock, your voice trembling.
The doctor's eyes widened as he realized that Price had never shared this information with you. "I'm very sorry to be the one to tell you this, but your husband has had a brain tumor for the past year. He has been coming here quite frequently for CT scans. I thought he shared the news with you.”
Your heart dropped, and your ears were ringing as the doctor's words sank in. "Thank you, doctor. I think I want some alone time if that's okay with you," you said, turning away to be by Price's side, your hand finding his again.
"Of course," The doctor nodded and left the room, leaving you in silence.
This revelation shattered your world. All those months of misunderstanding, suspicion, and fear, thinking that he was cheating on you, were suddenly replaced with the realization that he had been dealing with a life-threatening condition. And he had hidden it from you, for what reason, you couldn't fathom.
Alone with Price, your hand found his once more. Slowly, his eyes fluttered open, and as they met yours, he saw the tears streaming down your face. Confusion and worry knitted his brows, and tears welled up in his own eyes.
"You know, don't you?" he whispered.
"Why didn't you tell me?" you sobbed, gripping his hand tightly. Price's own tears fell freely now. Using his other hand, he covered yours, squeezing it with all the strength he had left.
"I didn't want it to ruin you. I didn't want you to let it destroy you, for you to count down the days you had left with me. I wanted us to live a normal life together. I wanted your last year with me to be full of happiness. I just wanted you to be happy. I'm so sorry,"
Price confessed, his voice cracking. You dropped your head as you cried out, the weight of his secret too much to bear. Price did his best to sit up, his hands cupping your face, making you look at him.
"I thought you were cheating on me," you cried out as tears ran down your face. Price looked shocked but quickly laughed softly through his own tears.
"Sweetheart, I would never," he assured you. You reached over and hugged him tightly, burying your face in his neck as you sobbed out your anguish.
"I don't want you to die," you choked out as Price's tears streamed down his face, and he held you even tighter.
"I don't want to die either," he whispered back. He cried with you, and you both shared your pain, finding comfort in one another. Eventually, you fell asleep next to him on the hospital bed.
Two weeks later, you found yourself standing in front of Price's casket, a sea of mourners around you. Your eyes were vacant and hollow, lost in a world of pain and sorrow as you gazed at his lifeless form, lying in the casket. The weight of his absence was suffocating, and the pain of losing him was overwhelming, etching deep lines of grief and despair on your face.
The world moved around you, but you felt frozen in time, unable to comprehend that Price was gone. As the solemn ceremony continued, the reality of your loss settled heavily on your shoulders, and the tears flowed freely, reflecting the profound sense of emptiness that had taken root in your heart.
You had been going through the motions of daily life, the absence of Price weighing heavily on your heart. As you checked the mail one afternoon, you noticed a letter that seemed different from the usual bills and advertisements. Your eyes grew wide with curiosity as you recognized the handwriting on the envelope, and your heart raced with anticipation.
Rushing to the living room, you tore open the envelope with trembling hands. Your eyes scanned the familiar words, and tears welled up as you realized it was a letter from Price. Your heart ached as you devoured every word, feeling his presence through his written words, and a bittersweet mix of emotions washed over you.
My Dearest y/n,
As I sit here, pen in hand, I am filled with a mixture of emotions that I'm struggling to put into words. I write this letter in the hope that it reaches you a few days after I'm gone, a small attempt to convey what's in my heart before my time in this world ends.
I want you to know how much I love you. I want you to carry that love with you always. You are the sun, the warmth that has filled my heart, and the love that has given my life meaning.
I want you to understand that my decision to keep my illness from you was not out of deceit or a desire to protect you from pain. It was a misguided attempt to preserve your happiness.
I see now that my silence did more harm than good, and for that, I am truly sorry. The weight of my secret was a heavy burden, and I regret not sharing it with you sooner.
As you face the days without me, I want you to know that it's okay to grieve, to feel anger, sadness, and loss. Emotions are a natural part of life, and there is no right or wrong way to experience them.
I want you to cherish the memories we created together. The laughter, the shared dreams, the quiet moments, they are all a testament to the beautiful life we built. Please, hold on to those memories, for they will keep me alive in your heart.
Live your life, my love. Pursue your dreams, follow your passions, and find joy in the simple pleasures of life. I have always believed in your strength, your resilience, and your ability to make the most of every moment. You have a bright future ahead, and I hope you embrace it with all the enthusiasm and optimism that you have always possessed.
I may be leaving this world, but my love for you will never fade. I will always be with you in spirit, watching over you, guiding you, and protecting you. You are a remarkable person, and you deserve all the love and happiness that life can offer.
I'm grateful for the love you gave me, and I am blessed to have known you. Cherish the life we had together, and as you move forward, carry our love with you in your heart. Until we meet again in a better place, my love, I will be waiting for you, just as you will always be in my heart.
With all the love in my soul,
John Price.
You can almost hear his voice echoing through the written lines. Your heart tightens, and tears roll down your cheeks as you finish reading.
Uncontrollable sobs wrack your body, and the ache in your chest intensifies with each passing moment. You find yourself gasping for breath between heart-wrenching cries. The raw pain of loss washes over you, and each word in the letter feels like a bittersweet echo of the love you shared.
In the days that followed, the words lingered, an ethereal presence in your heart. The letter remained a harbinger of sorrow, a tangible testament to the void Price left behind. Tears now blurred the lines, rendering his words almost unreadable. Yet, within those blurred lines, you found a flicker of resilience.
The pain of loss remained, an unwelcome companion, but within the lines of his letter, there was an urge to honor his memory through living life the way he would have wanted you too.
Slowly, like the tentative bloom of flowers after a harsh winter, you began to unfurl. You traced a path towards healing, stumbling through the fog of sorrow. The world around you seemed dull at first, colors muted and sounds distant. Yet, with each passing day, a glimmer of resilience emerged, a hesitant spark pushing through the darkness.
You found yourself in small moments – a sunrise painting the sky with hues of warmth, a stray cat lying on your porch, the scent of rain on the pavement. In these fragments of life, you began to glimpse a flicker of the light that once danced in your husband's eyes.
Carrying his memory, you navigated the world anew, a hesitant traveler on a journey of healing. His words echoed in your mind, encouraging you to embrace the vibrant symphony of existence. You found fragments of him in unexpected places – a familiar song on the radio, a butterfly dancing in the garden, or the scent of his favorite cologne lingering in the air.
In these moments, you felt a connection beyond the tangible, a comforting presence whispering that he was still with you. It wasn't a cure for the ache of loss, but rather a soothing balm, a reminder that love could transcend the boundaries of life and death.
879 notes · View notes
bangchansgirlsblog · 4 months
Note
Ive been imagining this and ik its weird BUT ot8 skz being perv and so obsessed to fem 9th member.. Like they get super jealous and the fem readed being a people pleaser like she cant say no to her friends and cant stand seeing them sad so when the members started to became sexually touchy w her they used that against her and be like "dont u want to see us happy? We've been tired and we just want to relieve some stress.. I thought u can help us.. I guess not" and they pretend to be sad abt it and the reader just felt guilty for not helping her friends so she lets them touch her which led to smut KDNDJFKDJ its weird but idk i die for these kinds of fics
Hands on me?
Warning: Angst, sexual activity, manipulation?
Pairing: polyOT8 x reader.
Summary: Don’t you wanna see us happy baby? They said as they slowly peeled her clothes off.
AUTHORS NOTE: this has been in my requests for a while and I write this when I first started off SO it’s not good at all BUT I’m going to write another one using this same request cause I have another idea AND this was in my drafts for a while so I’m dropping it to clear it.
I hope whoever requested this, enjoys it 🥰
**
"Baby?!" She heard someone call for her from the living room. 
"I'm in here!" She replied. Her hair was up in a pony tail and she was currently wearing shorts and a croptop with no bra on making her look yummy.
She heard a bunch of voices start piling up in the living room meaning that the boys were back home.
A small smile creeped up on her face as she continued to wash up the dishes she had used to cook dinner. She made a big dinner because at the end of the day she was feeding 8 of her boyfriends who were also MEN. 
"Hey love," Han walked into the kitchen. His hair was in a hat and he had his normal hoodie and cargo pants on. "Are you feelings better?" He asked while taking a few steps towards her until he towering her. His breathing was heavy probably from the flight of stairs.
"Mmm, yeah. Just been a long day that's all." She sighed and looked up at him. He had a pout on his face making her coo at how adorable the boy was.
"I missed you," he said in between kisses. 
"Missed you too momo," he rested his head on her shoulder she continued to finish the dishes.Han was always clingy, not more than Felix but it was more than the other boys, that was for sure.
As she finished up she felt His hands slowly wondering around her body then slowly landing on her ass. oh, makes sense. He was horny.
She did love every interaction with her boys, she really did but today she wasn't in the mood at all. She was tired and she had a horrible headache from work. having sex was not on her to-do list but a nap was.
"Do you want me to take care of you?" He whispered in her ear causing shivers to run down her spine. She was sad because she was going to turn him down and she knew how stressed all the boys were, he just wanted have fun.
"Maybe not right now momo, I'm not in the mood," She told him while finishing the last of the dishes and drying her hands. He pouts and lets out a small whimper.
"Have you eaten yet?" She asked him changing the subject.
"Not yet no," he frowned.
"Okay then sit, let me call the other guys to come eat too," She encourage him, "and don't forget to put your dirty clothes in the laundry basket," She tiptoed and gave him a quick kiss before going to the living room to find only Changbin sat while scrolling through his phone.
He was wearing all black and he had his glasses on. His hair was fluffy and curly meaning today he was in the studio all day.
"Binnie?" She walked and sat by him, "what are you doing?"
"Hey baby," he kisses her temple and then her lips, "I was just lacing up my shoes, what about you? How was your day?"
"I'm tired that's all," she pouted, "and my period is coming soon so I'm breaking out!" she exclaimed and crossed her arms causing him to chuckle.
"I mean atleast you look nice," he dropped his shoe and pulled her close to his body, "you look beautiful, pretty, gorgeous, amazing-"
"Okay, okay I get the point," she roll my eyes playfully.
"Hey? Am I not allowed to praise my beautiful girlfriend?" He playfully frowns.
"You are I geuss," she giggled and he couldnt help but pull her onto his lap.
"Then let me praise you huh?" He kisses her cheek and slowly starts moving down her neck. A small moan leaves her mouth.
"B-Binnie, I'm not in the mood, please," she told him.
"Why not? You're always in the mood," he looks confused.
"Not today, just come have lunch yeah?" she give him a peck on the lips and got off him so he could stand up.
"Fine," he huffs. He makes his way to the dining area as she depart6ed and headed to Felix's room
"Felix?" she called while knocking on his door.
"It's open!"
"Hey sunshine, dinner is ready-"
"Hey! no kisses? No hugs?" He frowned and turned around from his desk.
"Oh-" she giggled when she realized and then walked over to him, "Hey lix," she repeated and  gave him a kiss as he automatically pulled her on his lap.
"How's my baby doing?" He asked as his hands wrapped around her waist and he cuddled her body.
"Mm just tired," she sighed.
"Oh my poor baby, should we watch a movie later?" He was craving her. he wanted to spend more time with her because he felt like he had spent so much time with the boys that he was neglecting her.
"Yeah that would be nice but first go get lunch," she forced herself out of his grip but he let out a soft whine due to the lack of touch and well...the bulge that was now very visible through his pants.
"Look what you've done to me," he whined again causing her to laugh at his distraught state.
"Oh oh, you better fix that before you go down,"
"Help me please!" He frowned.
"I'm not in the mood Felix, please."
"Come on pleaseee, it's been a long day. Don't you want to see me happy?"
His eyes were shiny and hungry, it was obvious.
"Fine after dinner," she lied to him so he could get up and he actually believed it.
"Okay okay, I'm running there now!"
He got up from his sit and rushed out the room.
She followed behind him and checked the dining room to see everyone now sitting down including Chan, I.N, Seungmin and leeknow.
She went around to give them quick kisses before returning to her room and changed into just a  huge shirt (that was probably for one of the boys) and underwear.
She turned off all her room lights and entered bed now being able to have a peaceful sleep. A nice, nice qui-
She felt the bed dip and hands wrap around her body. Her eyes open quickly and she saw familiar hands. Chan.
"Channie?"
"Hey babe, I wanted to cuddles," he pouted.
"Fine but no disturbing my sleep," she scolded him and turned so it was easier for him to wrap his arms around her waist.
Her eyes slowly closed once again and she finally thought she was to get some sleep until the door swung wide open and closed quickly, two more people walking in and making themselves comfortable in her bed. Han and I.N. At this point she was so used to it that she just let them stay as they both argued on who was sleeping where.
"Guys if you're going to be in here, you have to be quiet and sleep," She told all of them off. Even if she was getting a little frustrated she scooted up a little so they could all enter the bed.
Not even a few minutes later all the boys were now in her room on her bed piling onto one another under her fluffy blankets. She knew exactly what they wanted when she felt one of their hands massaging her leg.
She let out a sigh, "Such horny dogs!" she groaned.
"Common baby, it's been a long day. Don't you care about us?" Hyunjin teased her in a manipulative manner.
"Just a little fun. Come on please," Han rubbed her leg once more back and forth causing shivered to run down her spine.
"You look good too," Felix complimented her while tugging at her bra strap, "really good." They were basically already peeling her clothes off with their cold ass hands.
She let out a sigh and finally gave in, "F-fine I geuss so," her eyes wonder to Chan who gives her an assuring nod.
//please idk how to write a smut but just imagine the nastiest thing ever happens//
When they were done and the boys were satisfied as Y/n sat on the bed. Her heart was racing from all the action but she was in her own space. Spaced out.
The constant thoughts of the boys using her for their sexual desires made her enter a depressive episode. Yes she enjoyed the sex and the attention but so many emotions were running through her tiny body that she couldn't handle it anymore.
She felt used like a sex toy and the tears in her eyes slowly started to build as she started to breath rapidly. The air in the room getting suddenly thick. Seungmin was in the bathroom running her bath for her after care. The sound of the water falling was the only sort of noise she could hear.
She held her knees against her chest as she tried to calm down. Han's hand wrapped around her waist. As he kissed her temple. "you did so good for us, you know that right babygirl?" he praised but she didnt even notice him in the first place. Her eyes were hazy and completely black and when Han noticed, he gave chan a look. 
"Hey, are you with us?" Chan asked immediately as he pulled up his sweatpants. "Y/n?"
No response.
She was staring at the wall right in-front of her. She felt unloved. She felt tired. She was in pain.
The boys (some of them were still dressing up) all turned to look at her. Her body was still bare and the bruises on her arms were visible.
"Is she going into a trance?" I.N asked panicked. "Chan do something, please,"
"Hey Y/n? Babygirl? It me. Can you hear me?" He walked over to her and grabbed her tiny hands.
"C-channie?" She chocked as She looked up at him. The tears slowly starting to fall.
"Yes my love, it's me. Can you tell me where you are?"
"I'm alone, I'm all alone," she sobbed. "Why am I like this? Why am I so disgusting?" She cried.
"What do you mean Y/n?" He asked shocked.
"I-I want Binnie, I want Binnie now," she said reaching out for him. Changbin did not hesitate. He was right by her side pulling her onto his lap. The rest of the boys understanding what was going on and quickly taking action.
"I'm here princesses, tell me what's wrong," he had no shirt on and the skin to skin was slowly giving her comfort as his body heat was radiating warmth.
"I-do you love me?" She asked. The panic in her voice was clear. She was soon going to get a panic attack. it was building up.
"Ofcourse I love you babydoll, why would you think otherwise?" He questioned while kissing her forehead.
"i- i dont know, please dont be mad at me," She sobbed in his chest. The view was heartbreaking and the boys knew that if they didnt find a way to cheer her up soon it would end up into a full blown panic attack.
"I'm going to make some brownies for her," Felix said because he knew this was the only way he could comfort her on his part. He quickly leaves the room after hesitating for a bit not wanting to leave her.
"I- are you guys using me? For sex?" She cried harder. Her hands held Changbins chest as She struggled to breathe. Their faces were in absolute shock. was this what they made her think? was this all she thought she was to them? 
"Ofcourse not," leeknow knelt down infront of her. He slowly rubbed her thigh. "Jagi, you need to breathe. Can you do that for me?" He asked her. Her body was shaking still. she tried to gasp for air but failed. 
"Listen to me beuatiful, you need to breathe like me....see," he took a deep breathe to demonstrate to her but it was no use. 
"i- i cant breathe," she gasped and let go of changbin to grab her neck. it felt like it was closing up. Her vision was blurry now and the lack of oxygen was getting to her. 
"C-chan?" she gasped as she slowly she started to pass out. Her body giving up on her due to the many emotions.
"come on baby, stay with me," she heard in the distance.
"Guys! call 119,"
***
This is just a fic no one come for me 😔
460 notes · View notes
dontyouworrydaddy · 11 months
Note
First of all, let me tell you about how much I love your blog and your writing style. Your fics quality is top notch and I giggle like an idiot every time I see a new post from you. So, if it's ok with you can you write about our favorite COD men (including daddy Konig and Simon) whose SO keeps getting texts from her asshole ex - some of them begging to take him back and others borderline threatening, like "who's that dude you're dating now? You think you can replace me that easily?" etc. And our boys accidentally see these texts. How would they react to that situation? Thank you so much :)
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𝑦𝑜𝑢’𝑟𝑒 𝑓𝑟𝑒𝑒
Task Force 141 (+König) x fem! reader
You have no idea how much I appreciate these kind words. Like you literally just made me CRY because I‘m so happy to hear that. You guys motivate me to keep writing fr🫶🏻🫶🏻😭 I love you so much and I‘m so thankful to you! 🩷🩷🩷🩷
Also I love the idea oh my god. I can imagine them being super mad at him and be like as soon as she’s sleeping I‘m gonna haunt that mf and be super caring and not leaving your side until you’re okay again. AHHHH I have so many ideas I can’t put them all into words😮‍💨😫😫
I hope you enjoy this fanfic! Thank you again for the kind words, I really do appreciate it❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹
➽───────────────❥
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König
König found himself in a situation he hadn't anticipated. As he and you went about your daily lives, a series of text messages from your ex started flooding your phone. König couldn't help but catch glimpses of these messages, each one more distressing than the last.
I know you miss me
I still have that red dress from you…
You can stop acting like you don’t need me anymore and just come back ;)
You date insecure guys now? Wow Y/N… I mean I knew I was the best for you but I didn’t expect that low from you
I saw you the other day… You got a lot sexier ;))
I miss you so much baby. I love you…
They were filled with toxic words, attempting to undermine the happiness you had found with König.
Upon stumbling upon these messages, König's usually calm and composed demeanor wavered, replaced by a mix of concern and protectiveness. He couldn't fathom why someone would target you in such a hurtful way and it stirred a fire within him that burned with a fierce determination to shield you from harm.
His grip tightened around his phone as he confronted you, his voice laced with worry. "Schatz, what is this? Who is sending you these messages?" His eyes searched yours, a mix of anger and concern burning in their depths. But he wasn’t angry at you. He was more angry at himself because he feels like he failed as a boyfriend. His only mission is to make you feel comfortable and it feels like he failed at it. Because you didn’t talk to him…
You took a deep breath, realizing that the time had come to open up and share the painful truth. "It's my ex. He's been unable to let go and now he's trying to sabotage our relationship. I've been trying to handle it on my own, but it's becoming overwhelming."
The weight of your words settled between you, the gravity of the situation sinking in. König's protective instincts kicked into high gear as he reached out, pulling you into a comforting embrace. "Liebling" he whispered, his voice filled with determination, "You don't have to face this alone. I'm here for you and together we'll navigate through this storm."
His words were like a balm to your soul, offering solace and reassurance in a world that felt suddenly tumultuous. You found strength in his unwavering support, knowing that you didn't have to battle your ex's toxicity alone.
With each new text that appeared on your phone, König became even more resolved to protect you. He devised a plan to confront your ex, making it clear that his attempts to sow discord and threaten your happiness would not be tolerated.
But König's reaction wasn't solely driven by anger. It was driven by love and a deep understanding of the pain you were experiencing. He knew that these messages were more than just words on a screen…they were emotional daggers that pierced your heart. And he will make sure that your ex will never bother you again. Trust him.
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Simon Riley
In the midst of it all the chaos he‘s been through, there was you, a source of light and solace that gave his dead life light. The two of you navigated the challenges of life together, an unwelcome presence lingered, threatening to disrupt the tranquility you had built.
But you were constantly tormented by text messages from your ex Josh. The messages were a relentless barrage of mixed emotions, ranging from desperate pleas for reconciliation to menacing threats aimed at undermining your newfound happiness. It was a constant reminder of a past you were trying to move beyond. It was always him trying to manipulate you into leaving Simon and go back to him.
One fateful evening, as you lay beside Simon, your phone illuminated with yet another message from your ex. Simon, ever vigilant and protective, caught a glimpse of the text and as soon as he read the words "I still think about you when I’m on my bed alone", anger flashed in his eyes. He knew about your crazy ex.
Concern etched across his face as he realized the torment you had been enduring in silence. You turn your phone around and looked up at Simon. So many emotions were written on his face that made you tear up.
Carefully, Simon pulled you into his arms, offering a comforting embrace. His touch was gentle, his voice soothing as he reassured you that you were safe with him. In that moment, he became your shield, determined to protect you from the darkness that lurked in your past.
As you drifted off to sleep, exhaustion finally claiming you, Simon's heart swelled with a mixture of tenderness and anger. He couldn't bear to see you suffer any longer. Resolute, he rose from the bed, leaving you in peaceful slumber and made his way to confront the source of your personal torture.
Due to his Job, it was easy for him to find out where he was living. And with determination etched upon his features, Simon found himself standing outside your ex's residence. He had no intention of resorting to violence, but his presence alone was enough to unnerve the cowardly individual who had been preying on your vulnerability.
As the door swung open, revealing your ex's face, a mix of surprise and fear washed over him. Before he could utter a single word, Simon's voice rang out with authority. "Leave her alone mate. If you ever come near her again, you'll regret it. And I‘m not a man to play fucking games with"
Josh felt the weight of Simon's unwavering resolve, cowered beneath his gaze. Fear clouded his eyes as he stammered out a half-hearted apology. Without further hesitation, Simon turned on his heel and walked away, leaving your ex to contemplate the consequences of his actions.
Meanwhile, back at home, you stirred awake, finding Simon by your side, his gaze filled with comfort and love. Wordlessly, he climbed back into bed, pulling you close, and kissed your forehead with a mix of gentleness and possessiveness.
"I won't let anyone hurt you," Simon whispered, his voice filled with a fierce protectiveness. "You're safe with me. Always."
In that moment, you knew that Simon was not only your lover but your guardian, a force that would go to any lengths to shield you from harm. And as you drifted back into a peaceful sleep, your heart swelled with gratitude, knowing that you were truly cherished by the man who would stop at nothing to keep you safe.
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John MacTavish
You felt a mixture of frustration and fear as your ex continued to invade your life. The messages ranged from desperate pleas for reconciliation to thinly veiled threats, designed to unsettle and intimidate you. The constant reminders of your past were enough to make anyone's heart race and palms sweat.
One chance. Please baby.
Are you really dating a scottish man? You‘ve sunk so low.
One evening, as you and John were relaxing together, the barrage of texts became too much to bear. With a heavy sigh, you pulled out your phone, revealing the string of toxic messages that had invaded your peaceful sanctuary.
I will have you back, I‘m waiting baby.
John's eyes widened as he read the manipulative words that spilled across the screen. Without hesitation, John wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close. He understood the fear and turmoil that consumed you and he was determined to be your shield, protecting you from the pain of your past. His voice, laced with a mixture of concern and determination, filled the room.
"Baby" John spoke softly, "I won't let him hurt you anymore. You're safe with me, and I'll do whatever it takes to ensure that."
His comforting words and his strong embrace provided a temporary respite from the torment. As exhaustion claimed you, sleep finally descended upon your weary mind and body. Unbeknownst to you, John's resolve had been steeled.
As you slept, John quietly slipped away, his footsteps echoing with purpose as he made his way towards your ex's location. The darkness of the night seemed to amplify the intensity of his emotions. Anger simmered beneath his stoic exterior, a force ready to be unleashed upon the person who had dared to threaten the newfound happiness he shared with you.
John's arrival sent a shockwave through your ex's world. The smug arrogance that had permeated his messages quickly evaporated as he realized the true extent of John's determination. Fear replaced bravado, and he attempted to escape from the formidable soldier who now stood before him.
But there was no escape. John, fueled by a protective instinct, pursued your ex relentlessly, his presence an indomitable force that left no room for evasion. "Text my girl ever again and oh boy you wish your mom never gave birth to you" Cornered and overwhelmed, your ex succumbed to his fear and fled, leaving behind the remnants of a broken ego.
As John returned to your side, a mix of relief and admiration washed over him. The confrontation had served its purpose: to ensure your safety and send a clear message to anyone who dared to threaten your peace of mind.
You awoke to find John by your side, his features softened by the moonlight that filtered through the window. His eyes met yours, filled with a blend of tenderness and determination.
"He won't bother you again," John assured you, his voice unwavering. "I'll always protect you, no matter what."
In that moment, as you gazed into the depths of John's unwavering devotion, you knew that you were not alone. With him by your side, you felt a renewed sense of strength and security.
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John Price
You had tried to move on from the toxic relationship that had left scars on your heart. But your ex refused to let go, bombarding you with text messages that ranged from desperate pleas to borderline threats. Each message chipped away at your sense of peace and security.
One evening, as you sat with John, sharing the burden of your past, a notification flashed across your phone screen. The words that appeared before you were a cruel reminder of the darkness that still lingered.
Who's that dude you're dating now? You think you can replace me that easily?
Your heart sank as you realized John had caught a glimpse of the message. The look in his eyes, a mix of concern and anger, mirrored the tumultuous emotions raging within you.
John's voice was steady, but determination laced his words. "Baby, I can't stand by and let this continue. He needs to understand that his behavior is unacceptable and that he must leave you alone."
A mix of fear and relief washed over you, knowing that John would go to such lengths to protect you. You nodded, your voice barely a whisper. "I want to move on and leave this behind. But it’s getting so difficult" All night he did nothing but hold you as you cried because the memories kept adding up. And John did nothing but kiss and hold you the entire night.
The next morning, as the sun painted the sky with shades of gold, John prepared to leave for what appeared to be a simple grocery shopping.
Time seemed to stretch endlessly as you waited, anxiety and anticipation mingling within you. Hours passed and just when doubt threatened to seep into your thoughts, you heard the familiar sound of John's footsteps approaching the door.
His face bore the signs of a confrontation, his eyes filled with a mix of exhaustion and determination. John took you in his arms, holding you tightly, as if to shield you from the remnants of the past that clung to your spirit.
"He won't bother you again" he whispered, his voice filled with an unyielding resolve. "I made it clear that his actions were unacceptable. He knows the consequences if he dares to cross that line." and you knew that he went over and made it clear to him to never text you ever again.
Tears welled in your eyes, a mix of gratitude and relief streaming down your cheeks. You gazed into John's eyes, overwhelmed by the love and protection he offered so selflessly.
"I don't know how to thank you, John," you whispered, your voice trembling with emotion. "You've given me a sense of safety and peace that I thought I had lost forever."
His grip tightened, his voice a comforting reassurance. "You don't have to thank me, my love. It's what love does. It protects and empowers. I won't let anyone hurt you, not while I'm here."
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Kyle Garrick
You stood there, reading the text messages that illuminated your phone screen, each word like a dagger to your heart. The messages from your ex, filled with desperation and anger were a painful reminder of a past you desperately wanted to forget. His words were like poison, seeping into your thoughts and threatening to unravel the happiness you had found with Kyle. The man you want to share your life with.
Just as you were about to put your phone away, hoping to bury the unsettling messages deep within your mind, you heard a gasp from behind you. Turning, you saw Kyle, his eyes fixated on the screen, his face a mix of concern and anger.
"Love?" he murmured, his voice laced with sympathy and a fire burning within, "I didn't realize you were going through this. I'm so sorry."
Tears welled up in your eyes as you looked at him, the pain of the messages threatening to overwhelm you. But Kyle, ever the steadfast protector, closed the distance between you, wrapping his strong arms around you in a comforting embrace.
His words, infused with a fierce protectiveness, resonated within you. As he held you close, you felt a sense of safety and reassurance wash over you, erasing the fear and uncertainty that had plagued your heart.
Days passed and Kyle prepared for his next mission, a dangerous assignment that would take him away from you for a while. But before he left, he made a promise to himself, and to you. He would confront your ex, ensuring that he never dared to disturb your peace again.
As he set out on his mission, he carried with him the weight of your trust and the burning desire to protect you from harm. And when the time came, bruised and battered, he sought out your ex, determined to make him understand the consequences of his actions.
Face to face, Kyle confronted the man who had caused you so much pain, his eyes ablaze with an unwavering resolve. Your ex, taken aback by the sight of Kyle's injuries, cowered before him, realizing the severity of his actions. He pleaded for mercy, promising to leave you alone for good.
Kyle’s voice filled with an authority that brooked no argument, made it clear that any further harassment or threat would be met with severe consequences.
When he finally returned home, weary but determined, you met him at the door. The weight of the past seemed to dissolve as he enveloped you in his arms, the warmth of his embrace erasing the remnants of fear and doubt. In that moment, you knew that together, you could face anything.
After seeing him all bruised up but with a smile on his face, you couldn’t help but jump into his arms. In his embrace, you found healing. The scars of the past fading into insignificance compared to the love that bloomed between you. Together, you would face the challenges that lay ahead, fortified by the strength of your bond and the knowledge that no matter what, you were not alone.
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yayakoishii · 4 days
Text
Sober (Pt. 2) | Sanji x Reader
Fandom: One Piece
Pairing: Vinsmoke Sanji x GN! Reader
Word Count: 1.8k
Genre/Tags: Angst, Happy Ending, Sanji being dumb
Summary: You had waited for Sanji to confess to you when he was sober. Except...
A/n: I don't usually write sequels but I felt like it and then it became unexpectedly angsty?? It's still a pretty happy ending imo, so I hope you like this continuation ♡
To new readers, this is a part 2 to my oneshot that I've linked below. You could read this one without reading that, but it won't make as much sense.
Part 1
also available on ao3!
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He didn't do it.
The morning after, Sanji woke up with a terrible headache and vague hazy memories from the night before. It was only when he was serving breakfast to everyone and saw you that he remembered the… conversation you two had had. But then he dismissed it, realising it was only a dream. He had drank too much, fallen asleep and dreamt of you. Yeah, that must have been it.
Thinking so, he smiled at you as usual and mooned over Nami and Robin as always, not noticing your hopeful smile turn into a disappointed one.
Every time you popped into the kitchen or tried to strike up a conversation with Sanji after that, the dream would pop up in his mind and he ended up stammering his way out. A few days in, you realised he was avoiding you and started reciprocating by not going out of your way to talk to him either.
Sanji missed you. He didn't realise what the problem was because he wasn't being that weird. Okay, so maybe he was too flustered from his dream where you had held him so close and he had kissed you (he could still feel the phantom warmth of your breath on his mouth, the wet press of your lips on his cheek) and it was difficult to talk to you about anything without feeling the urge to do that with you. Maybe he had shut down one conversation too many but now you were avoiding him back and he didn't know how to fix it.
He couldn't just tell you about that dream he had had. You would slap him and be disgusted and freak out. Even the thought of that sunk his heart. He could tolerate being just a crewmate to you for the rest of your lives, but he couldn't tolerate the thought of you hating him forever. But without talking about the dream, he couldn't explain himself either.
A week passed like that, the two of you awkward and clumsy around each other. Everyone else noticed and Nami had tried to talk to both you and Sanji about it but neither of you let her know anything. They were all confused and Luffy just wanted you both to go back to being your usual selves because it was weird even for him. Of course, no one had the gall to say it to your faces, and Nami had stopped Luffy from saying it when he tried.
Fortunately, a new island appeared and the usual straw hat cycle of finding a city in trouble and accidentally saving them played its hand. The resulting party had you downing a few bottles of wine, although Sanji knew how much you hated the taste of alcohol.
"Why would I drink that?" Your face had scrunched up the first time Sanji had questioned you about it. "It doesn't taste good to me at all. I'd rather drink the juice you make for me, Sanji."
There was no one on the ship who praised Sanji's cooking as much as you did. You didn't hesitate to compliment his food every single day and while Sanji was very secure in his cooking ability, it was still validating to hear how much you loved his food anyway.
This past week you hadn't complimented him even once. You had never gone this long without doing it so Sanji knew you had to be really upset with him. He had to try and fix this as soon as he could.
Even during the party, his head was full of thoughts of you. When he looked out for you, he found you slumped over a table, empty wine bottles lying all around you. Without thinking, Sanji made his way over and cleared away the bottles so that you wouldn't accidentally break one and hurt yourself. You stayed silent as you watched him.
"Do you want to go back to the Sunny, my dear?" Sanji looked at you finally, trying to exude his usual self. You shot him a glare and pouted, your cheeks puffing up in what was unmistakably anger.
"Go away," you hissed at him. Sanji had to blink away the thought of how much you resembled a cat in that moment. "I don' like lyin' liars who lie to me."
Sanji had expected you to be angry at him but that statement confused him. He had avoided you, yes, but he could not remember lying to you. You were not one to lie so perhaps there had been a misunderstanding between you two?
"Which lie are you talking about, (y/n)-chan?" He asked carefully. You froze and shot him another glare. Even angry, you looked cute.
"Which lie?" You sounded outraged. "How many lies have you told me, huh?!"
"Wh– that's not what I meant!" Sanji tried to calm you down but you stood up abruptly and started walking back to the Sunny. The chef was stunned for a second. You never just up and leave. He had really badly fucked this up. So of course he had to run after you. Sanji caught up to you halfway, skidding to a halt in your path so you couldn't move. "Wait! I really don't know what lie you're talking about, my love, but I'm sorry for it. I will do whatever it takes to beg for your forgiveness and then try my best to make the lie a reality."
You stopped glaring and shot him a heartbroken look instead. Sanji felt like someone had stabbed him in the heart. Why did you look like that over… him?
"That's what it was supposed to be," you said quietly. The two of you were quite a way away from the din of the party so Sanji could make out the words. He was getting more confused but he had to be patient and hear you out. He couldn't fix his mistake if he didn't know what he had done. "You said that if this was real… you wanted to hold me. You said you would tell me how much I mean to you. That you would kiss me and tell me how much you love me. So why haven't you, Sanji? Do you not feel those things anymore? Or was it all a lie?"
Sanji froze. That was… that was the dream he had had! How did you know– Oh. Oh he had been so stupid. It hadn't been a dream at all. It had been real. And he had fucked it all up by avoiding you after all of that.
"Maybe I was the one who was an idiot for thinking you could possibly like me," you were crying now, tears running down your cheeks. Sanji's heart hurt at the sight; he had wanted to be the reason for your smile and laughter, not for your tears. He had hurt you, the person most precious to him. You suddenly grabbed his collar and pushed him into the tree and he just let you, mind too jumbled up to say anything. "I'm a fool. God, I was so stupidly happy that night, I couldn't sleep. I thought all my dreams had come true. I thought we would be in love. I thought I could finally wake you up with a kiss and tell you how much I loved you too before we fell asleep. I thought I would make you your favourite dish for your birthday and, and go do one of those love compatibility readings at the fortune telling shop for fun! I thought, I thought of so many things I wanted to do with you and you… Sanji, you never came. You never told me those words you had said when you were drunk."
He wanted all of that too. Sanji wanted to do all those things you had said and even more.
Your tightened fists loosened as you breathed heavily, still crying. Even like this, you were still the most beautiful person he had ever seen. If Sanji had had any doubts before this, then they had no place in his heart any longer. All of him, mind, body and soul, was yours. He could not let you go on with this misunderstanding any longer.
"Guess they were wrong," you chuckled wetly, stepping back. "A drunk man's words aren't his truest thoughts after all. They are just his–"
"They are," Sanji said roughly, stepping back into your bubble. You didn't look up at him, just stared down at your feet, still crying silently. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for taking all this time, my love, when you deserved to be told everyday that I'm but a fool for your attention. I was in the wrong, thinking that night had been a mere dream when my imagination cannot even begin to dream up the warmth you possess. I'm sorry and I will spend the rest of my life earning your forgiveness, if only you would find it within yourself to give me one more chance."
Your eyes looked hopeless, and you just smiled weakly at him.
"Hasn't it been enough, Sanji?" Your voice wavered. "Don't play with my heart anymore. I love you too much to survive another–"
Sanji pulled you into a tight hug, his arms surrounding you completely. Although you were still mad at him, your body automatically relaxed at the familiar comforting scent of him. "I don't have the words to even begin to apologise for what I have done. But I swear to you, love, I will make up for my mistake in every action from now on. I will leave no doubt in your mind of the fact that I'm madly, stupidly, disgustingly deeply in love with you. So much that my own heart isn't enough to hold all that love."
"You're like a dream, Sanji," you said quietly into his ear, heart racing yet mind calm. "A dream that you can't quite remember when morning comes. A dream that the more you try to grasp it, the more it slips from you. But even if you're a dream like that, I want to believe in that dream. I'm stupid enough to want to get my heart hurt again because it has chosen you and refuses to choose any other. So you better show me that my heart made the right decision."
"I will," he promised, pressing you harder into him. You were clinging onto him just as hard, but your tears had finally stopped.
"I don't like lying liars who lie, Sanji," you repeated your words from before. The chef smiled to himself. "You better keep your word this time."
Sanji hummed and let you go only to cup your cheeks in the palm of his hands. You looked at him, still a mess from crying and drinking. You were starting to look sleepy but Sanji felt like you had blown all his sleep away.
"When I'm sober," you paused to give a tiny yawn that had Sanji's heart clenching from how adorable it was, "you better be next to me."
Sanji smiled and picked you up bridal style. You curled into him and fell asleep in two seconds, barely catching his soft reply.
"I'll be there."
°•❀•°
All likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated! ♡
★ Taglist:
@phantasmagoricalzenith | @secretlife028 | @100520s | @toertchen | @suga-tofu | @theluckyplaces | @luvfzw | @katiemrty | @writingmysanity | @akaashi-todorki | @yuninha2004
+ @vespidphoenix | @cobainlover | @blue-chup | @yourboyhack (tagging because you seemed interested in pt. 2; sorry if it's a bother!)
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nexysworld · 6 months
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Chapter Summary: Leon wasn't sure what to do after your last encounter, he knew he messed up. He'd do anything to get you back to him, even if it meant more scheming under the guise of helping you get better. Pairing: Yandere!Leon x Fem!Reader Tags: NSFW, Dead Dove, Dubcon, Kidnapping, Stalking, Smut, Unprotected Sex, Pet Names, violence, gore, MDNI, masturbation, murder, slow burn. Psychological manipulation, abuse of power, etc. no use of y/n. WC: 6.5K
A/N: Thanks so much everyone for the support on this story. I'm sorry this update took forever, but we're back swinging and I've already started chapter 6. Hope you like it! (tag list at bottom :) )
Read on AO3 || Ask Box Open || Masterlist Previous Chapter || Next Chapter
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He was stunned, absolutely stunned. He expected you to warm up to him again, what he hadn’t expected was the way you were looking at him like that, how quickly you fell into his touch, his kiss. Your skin felt electric under his fingertips, your mouth heaven.
He had waited so long for this very moment that he lost control of himself – he knew this was too soon. Knew you needed to be coddled longer, doted on, cared for until you were finally his. But he couldn’t help it, the sadness in your soft voice, begging him to make you forget, to make you feel better. It was too much even for him. Countless years of government training down the drain the moment you pleaded for him. But then – then you’d scurried out like a startled rabbit, and he knew he fucked up. That was too much for you, especially after such an emotional day. It left him with only two choices now, to play another long game or to force you back to him. Sighing, Leon leaned back into his couch, cock now softened and brain clear. He ran a hand through his bangs, pushing them out of his face, the image of your sad expression burned into his retinas. If he was being honest with himself, he wasn’t sure he had the mental fortitude to play another long game, he needed you, and that outburst of emotion showcased how badly you needed him as well.
And speaking of said outburst, should he go to you now, try to offer comfort? Or is space what was best for you? He pondered on that thought for a few minutes, knowing the next move was crucial in making everything come together. He settled on not wanting to push you, but at least letting you know it was alright.
Lifting himself off his couch, Leon made the short journey from his apartment to your own, feed padding against the scratchy carpet of the hallway. He stopped just outside of your door, fist ready to knock when he heard your soft voice sobbing icing him to his core. Regardless of what was necessary, you being so sad never left him with a good feeling – it was like an ice pick slowly cracking at his heart every time he heard it. He pushed that feeling aside, focusing on the task at hand, knocking against the door. “Hey.” He said. “Hey, can I come in?” There was an unintelligible response from the otherside, a mix between a muffled sob and an attempt at coherent words. “Look, I’m not upset.” He called again through the door. 
When no clear response came, he tried the knob, unsurprised to find it unlocked. He twisted the brass, the door creaking open loudly as the sound of your upset became louder. He found you on the floor, slumped against the wall, not far from the door. Kneeling over you, he cupped your face in his hands. Your glassy eyes looked exhausted, face swollen, red, and tear stained – it didn’t bother him though as he held you there, locking his gaze with yours. “It’s alright.” He said assuringly. “S’not.” He watched you croak out from your puffy lips, gasping between tears to get some of the air back into your lungs. “It is.” He moved from kneeling, to sitting, coming completely down to your level. “I know things don’t seem that way right now. But it’s going to be alright – whatever happens.” “I can’t do this.” You exclaimed, clutching at his shirt, bunching the cotton fabric in your hands. He moved his own over yours, patting them gently against his chest. “Can’t do what?” He gave you a second to formulate a reply. “This!” You said, as if that would clear things up for him. “You…I can’t. I can’t keep doing this with you Lee. This isn’t right… things aren’t right. Maybe we should stop seeing each other entirely – I’m not stable. And I can’t keep using you to bail me out, or to alleviate my feelings. It’s not fair to you, and it leaves me feeling… god I can’t even describe it. I’m sorry.” 
Those were not the words he wanted to hear. He knew you were still emotionally delicate, but hadn’t he shown you time and time again that things were better with him? Right with him? He felt his knuckles twitch at your words, squeezing your hand a little tighter, but not tight enough to hurt you. He resisted the urge to snap, swallowing down the lump in his throat, trying to maintain a sense of steeled calm as you let it all out before him. ‘You don’t even know what you’re going on about, saying this shit to me while you cling to me for dear life? Oh baby…’’ He thought  to himself, trying to de-escalate his own brewing internal storm. 
His mouth twitched slightly before he relaxed again and smiled at you. “Hey, don’t say that.” Releasing his hold from your arms, he pushed closer to you, wrapping an arm around your back before pulling you into his lap, tightening you into a bear hug. He buried his nose in your hair for a moment, taking in your scent, just holding you there like he always does, before finally speaking again. “I’m a big boy. I can decide what’s fair for myself, you know? I’m here because I want to be.” He felt you relax into him as he stroked your back, running his hand up your shirt to make more skin to skin contact as he soothed you. 
“But I left you blue balling over a psychotic break. I’m hung up on someone who –” “It’s alright.” He said again. “ There’s worse things in the world than being blue balled, like knowing someone you care about is hurting.” He didn’t entertain your second point with a response, instead he kissed the top of your head. “Don’t worry about earlier, you were emotional, it wasn’t cool of me to let things go that far. You needed a distraction for sure, but not like that.” Leon leaned back a bit to run his fingers through your hair softly. “You’re too good to me.” You said softly, not moving from your spot, keeping buried into him. “I’m just as good as you deserve, baby.” He said with a soft chuckle.
“I’m still sorry.” Your voice was low, but more stable now, the quivering gone. He studied your face as you pulled away just enough to look up at him. “Would it help if I said I forgive you?” Leon, tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “Maybe a little.” “Well then, I forgive you.”
You leaned back fully now, resting against the wall again. “Thank you. I feel like all I do lately is cry and lose my mind, you know?” “Sometimes that’s just what you need to do, until you process things.” “I don’t know what there is to process. No matter how much evidence slaps me in the face, a part of me just can’t let go of the idea that he was real….that he is real.” He didn’t answer immediately, not liking how this conversation was going at all. It seemed like a rollercoaster, one moment you were slowly inching towards where he wanted you to be, so close to being his, before torpedoing back to this fucking topic. It was infuriating to him, boiling rage bubbling just beneath his skin. ‘Just forget about him already, I’m right here!’ 
“You know I don’t have an answer for that.” He said flatly, hoping you didn’t pick up on his change in mood. He leaned back, resting on his hands as he thought. He didn’t want to have to go down this path either, but he felt you were leaving him no choice. “I think I know someone who could help.” The way you perked up immediately was adorable, that’s the type of reaction he would never grow tired of seeing. “Who?”
“A doctor I know through work. His name’s Anthony Birkin.” He’d had the man’s number on speed dial since the last incident. A familial connection of the late William Birkin, he’d been working as a psychiatrist handling those who were testers of experiments for neo-umbrella. Of course with enough cash, pretending to be a personal psychiatrist made a decent side-gig too, and a biased one at that. Though it was true Leon had met him via his work connections – you didn’t need to know the other details. It’s not like you’d even be able to understand the necessity of it anyway. “A doctor? Leon you know why I –” “Yeah, I know. It’s scary, you don’t want them to think you’re crazy or hold you there, right? That wouldn’t happen.” “How could you know that?” “Like I said, I know ‘em from work. I could pull a few strings, make sure that doesn’t happen. You’d be surprised how many politician’s kids are allowed outpatient treatment when they likely should’ve been committed…not saying you should be at all.” He backpedaled a little, realizing the way that came out. “I’m just saying, maybe it could help.” He studied your face, intently watching every muscle movement, the way you bit your lip in thought, trying to get a read on you. If you agreed, everything after would go so much smoother for the both of you. “Maybe.” It wasn’t the answer he was looking for, he wanted something definitive, something he could really work with. “Maybe?” “Yeah, I’ll think about it.” You said quietly, rubbing at your sore cried out eyes. “You’re probably right, I think I just need a little time…” Close, so close – then you had to go and ruin it. ‘What the hell does she mean she needs time?’ The disaster that was this conversation was almost making him wish he just stayed on his couch for the night, but he would never be so selfish as to not tend to his bunny. “Of course, take all the time you need!” 
An awkward silence washed over the pair, Leon didn’t avert his gaze, but dug his fingers into the rug as a way to relieve some sort of tension. Your eyes darted around the room, looking like they wanted to land anywhere but on him, just one more thing that added to his already soured mood. He let out an awkward cough to clear his throat before speaking again. “So uh,  are you going to sleep here tonight … alone?” “Yeah, I think so. I think it’s time I learn to be a little more self-sufficient.” “Alright, just call me if you need anything. Don’t worry about the time – or feel free to let yourself in.” He reached out to gently stroke your cheek again. “I mean it. Please don’t feel bad, I’m here for you.” “Thank you.”
He nodded, leaning forward and pressing a quick kiss to your forehead. He didn’t want to leave you alone at all, ever again. If he had it his way you’d be curled up in his bed already – or better yet miles away in your own little corner of the world together, free from all of this. Despite that, he wasn’t going to push his luck tonight. He pushed himself up and off the ground, stretching for a moment, letting his joints  pop and crack from the awkward way he had been sitting. He reached a hand out towards you, to help you off the ground, another pang of irritation swept through him at your mild reluctance.  “Come on, it would make me feel so much better if I could at least help you to bed. Your ankle is still hurt after all.”
Despite the lingering negative feelings, his heart still fluttered the moment your hand made contact with his and you let him pull you to your feet. He wrapped an arm around your back to help support you in the short trek to the bedroom. 
Once he made sure you were safely deposited on your bed, he lingered for a bit taking in the sight. The way you looked tucked into those covers, your slew of stuffed animals on the shelf, some scattered onto the bed. It was so very fitting for you and so much better than witnessing it through a small camera – like seeing an animal in its natural habitat for the first time. 
“Is everything alright?”
The soft sound of your voice pulled him back to the moment, ironic how he’d caught you staring so many times before but now it was his turn to be caught off guard for a change. “Oh yeah. Everything’s good.” “You’re staring?” Your face held more amusement and confusion than anything else. 
“Sorry, I just realized it’s the first time I’ve seen the inside of your room while you’re in it.” The words left his mouth on auto-pilot, escaping the filter that should have told him not to implicate himself. He hoped you hadn’t picked up on the specific words he used, but it was too late. “What?” “Nothing, just that it’s the first time I’ve seen your room, that's all.” “That’s now what you said.” “That's what I meant.” He added a short chuckle to the end of his words hoping you wouldn’t push the subject further. He walked over kissing your cheek. “Have a good night.” He made his way out of your room and apartment as fast as he could after that. 
Leon collapsed down into his own bed, heart pounding from the entirety of the interaction with you. It hadn’t gone well, and it left him reeling a little. Letting out a sigh, he opted to try and sleep it off, just hoping you’d reach out to him soon just like you always did. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the days that past he kept a close eye on you like he always did – there wasn’t a place in the world you could be where Leon wasn’t close behind both physically and metaphorically. Even technically being there didn’t help that the remaining  gap between you two still felt like a chasm of despair within him. He couldn’t believe how much you stuck your guns about “needing space,” as he watched you waste away. Work. Home. Sleep. Rinse. Repeat. 
‘That’s not my bunny!’ He thought to himself, as you slumbered on your couch for another night. The fact you hadn’t even eaten dinner made him queasy, you weren’t taking care of yourself. You weren’t acting like yourself. All of this was wrong, so very wrong. Each time you twisted and called for him in your sleep, a nightmare reminding you of things you were better off forgetting, he wanted to go to you. None of this was right – this was exactly why you needed him, and he still couldn’t have you yet. 
Leon tried to check in a few times, his texts were spurned with simple one word answers, and his in-person meetings at the door were kept brief, so brief he wasn’t able to work in the soft touches that he was so used to. The feeling of your skin ghosted like a phantom pain on his fingertips. The sound of your voice a lingering whisper in the distance. 
He hated it. No mission or distraction was enough to help the overpowering and ever consuming thoughts he had of you, nothing could abate his need or his worries. Leon wasn’t sure what his limit was, but he knew you were close to it. All it would take is one more push for him to snap. 
Luckily for him, and his slowly diminishing psyche his phone finally buzzed. There you were, a matching picture to his,  hands tossed hip in the peace sign with your tongue stuck out making a silly face. It sent his heart soaring.
‘Hey are you up?’‘Of course :)’‘Can we talk?’
‘Always. When?’‘Now?’ He could hardly contain the excitement as he slammed the green button down, dialing your number. He felt giddy for the first time in a while, like all of the pent of feelings he was harboring faded away at the very notion of you wanting to speak with him.
“Leon, hey.” The sound of your voice was like raindrops on the window. “It’s been awhile. Everything alright?” He sat up from his couch, alert in case he needed to head over to you.
“Oh yeah, I was just thinking about everything.” There was some shuffling and movement on the other end before you finally continued. “I miss you, for one.” Those words alone set Leon’s heart rate skyrocketing. “I miss you too.” He replied, doing his best to keep his composure, not wanting to sound too giddy. “I’m glad.” Despite your words there was a slight mellowness to your voice he picked up on. “Are you sure everything is alright?” “No. No they’re not… listen could you put me in touch with that doctor you were talking about? I think, you were right, I really need to talk to someone.” “Yeah, yeah absolutely.” He confirmed, tilting the phone to a more comfortable position between his neck and ear. “I’ll give him a call today and put you in touch.” “Thank you Leon.” 
The conversation wasn’t everything he’d been hoping for, expecting at least a request for reconnection, but he’d take it. It was close enough to what his was pushing towards, and it reinvigorated  him to know that he was again inching closer and closer to having you right where you belonged – with him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Another call, another mission a world away. Leon wished he could’ve been there in person, wish he could’ve watched through the double sided mirror as you spoke with Dr. Birkin, seeing all those minute little facial expressions you always displayed. Watching how you reacted and responded to each question, hearing your voice crystal clear again instead of through the low speaker of a phone or a hidden microphone. 
As he sat on the bench outside some official’s office, he pulled his phone close to his face, turning up the volume, headphones already in. He watched on the small fingerprint smudged screen as best he could – the video feed black and white, hard to see in the sunlight. 
There you were in all your glory, relaxed back  on the little couch. The audio wasn’t as clear as the mics he had placed in your apartment, but he could still make out the conversation still. 
The good doctor sat across from you in his chair, notepad in hand. “Mhm. Mhm.” He nodded in reply to something you’d said. “So you say you’re having false memories of this … Derek? You said he was your long term boyfriend, until he passed away under mysterious circumstances?” Leon cringed at the name. “Yeah…yeah that’s right.” You said, a somber lilt to your voice. “I swear I remember everything. But it’s like he’s a ghost. I went to his job, his parent’s house. Everywhere I could think of just to prove he was real, and they all acted like I was insane.” Dr. Birkin scribbled a few more notes down. “These memories, how vivid are they? And are they continuous, for example do you have any large gaps in your recollection?” You readjusted in your seat, picking at the arm of the couch you were on. Leon could see your leg shift and bounce as you tried to decide how best to answer the questions. “Extremely vivid. I can remember his face, the smell of his cologne, his voice. I can remember the way the air smelt and the rain against my face the last time we took a road trip – I wanted to get out and take pictures when it started pouring.” Your face contorted into one of pain, grabbing a tissue from the box on the side table before dabbing it at the bottom of your eyes. Leon wished he could’ve been the one wiping them away again. “As for gaps… there’s none. I could tell you about every major holiday, every birthday, the first time I met his family. Our first date, our anniversary, I can tell you what I saw when he – I’m sorry. I can even tell you what happened when he –” Dr. Birkin leaned forward to put a hand on your shoulder. “When he what? Take your time, deep breaths.” “When he died.”
Dr. Birkin gave you a moment to collect yourself before continuing. “You had mentioned at the start you recalled witnessing his death. Can you tell me what you remember from that?” For a moment you looked like the wind was knocked out of you despite your spot on the couch. Leon wanted to keep watching, wanted to hear more, but like always the video feed cut to Hunnigan’s name ringing in to him. “You have the worst timing, you know that Ingy?” “Well you know my favorite part of the job is getting to hear your annoyed voice at the other end of the line.” She said with a laugh. “Anyway, we need to talk about details. We just received intel that –” The sound of her voice slowly drowned out for Leon, he found himself replying with the usual responses, only taking in the most important information being fed into his ear. He was more focused on wanting to get back to your session, desperate to know if there was any important detail he should know about. Desperate to see the outcome of everything, and of course to make sure Dr. Birkin was holding up his end of the deal.
The call continued and he tried to appease that inner anxiety and boredom by bouncing his leg rapidly and looking around, taking in the trees and the now cloudy sky. The smell of rain was in the air from the morning, and the shuffling of people nearby was a decent enough ambient noise that it helped keep him from being entirely on edge. “Yeah, yeah. Warehouse….later today…..yeah I hear you. I *am* listening.” He insisted through the little speaker on the phone. 
He wasn’t sure how long the call lasted but the moment Hunnigan’s voice quieted, he slammed the red end button as fast as he could before pulling up the video app again. “Come on….come on…” He said frustrated as the video feed took forever to load again. Finally, the small black and white view appeared on his screen again, you were sitting up on the couch, legs criss crossed as you blew your nose with another tissue. “Good work today.” Dr. Birkin said, setting his notebook down on the table next to him. “I know that was hard and a lot to go over in such a short time, but you did very well.” Leon watched you nod before speaking. “So uh….do I have a diagnosis or I guess, where do we go from here?” “We’ll talk more about that in our next session. A case like this is quite complicated, to say the least. I need to go over my notes and discuss with a colleague of mine before offering a diagnosis. I want to make sure you have the best and most accurate care.” Leon sighed as he cut the video feed, realizing he’d missed the rest of the session for the day. His watch buzzed indicating that he needed to get going, sighing he pushed himself up off the bench to make his way inside the giant white bricked building for what would be a boring meeting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This mission had taken longer than usual, longer than Leon had wanted. What was supposed to have been just a two day warehouse stakeout wound up becoming an entirely new situation. A bio-disaster so big it could’ve rivaled Raccoon City. While nothing he hadn’t handled before, it left Leon exhausted as  he collapsed into the hotel room bed – despite the luxurious rooms provided to him by the D.S.O nothing was as restful as being at home in his own bed, and definitely not as restful as the nights he got to spend with you in his arms.
He checked the clock, it was only around 5pm, if his timing was right your next session with Dr. Birkin should have started already. Sitting up for a moment, he began to tug all his work gear off, leaving only his boxers and tshirt before settling back down one more time. He grabbed his phone again, opening up the video app and sure enough the feed was live again and to Leon’s delight, it was near the start of the session. “Thank you for coming again Miss. Please take a moment to relax and get comfortable. I know our last session was quite intense.” Dr. Birkin brushed some of the blonde hair away from his face and adjusted his too-big glasses against his nose before taking his seat. “At the end of the last session I told you I wanted to discuss with some colleagues before issuing a diagnosis. I was able to make a few calls over the past two days and I think I can say with certainty that I’ve reached a conclusion.” “Really?” You asked, looking up at the doctor, almost excited but still reserved. 
Dr. Birkin nodded before continuing. “I believe what you have is called False Memory Syndrome. It can be caused by a traumatic event – of course given the nature of your memories, we don’t quite know what the trigger was in this case yet. Regardless, we can still manage the symptoms.” He pulled a few papers out of the folder on the side table before handing them over to you. “These are some printouts with more information, if you want to check it out.” “Thank you.” You said quietly, quickly scanning over the information before tucking them into your bag. “What's the treatment like?” “Like most things with therapy and medication. But for something like this we also want to make sure you have a support system, someone you can trust, rely on. With conditions like this, some of the things you see or remember can seem so real, having someone who can tell you the truth can really help keep you focused.” “Right, that makes sense.” You looked to the side out the window, zoning out. The doctor spoke a bit more but you weren’t replying to anything. Leon’s brows furrowed watching it play out. ‘Bunny, come on now….’ “Miss? Miss, are you alright?” “Oh yeah, sorry. It’s just a lot to take in.” “I understand. Why don’t we move forward, let’s talk about some things that might help.” Readjusting on the couch, you sat up and nodded at the doctor. “Alright, I think that sounds good.” “I’m going to prescribe you something to help you sleep, it should also help with general anxiety.” He scribbled something on what looked like a tiny notepad before handing it over. “Now, I’d like to talk about your support system next. You mentioned before that you were having trouble with friends, but there was someone who you do connect with and trust, Mr. Kennedy?” “Yeah, Leon. He’s been a huge help. He’s kind and out of everyone doesn’t directly accuse me of being crazy, even though I know he probably thinks it too.” Leon’s heart burst with warm love as he heard you speak about him. “It’s good to have someone you can depend on. How much do you trust Leon?” You paused for a moment before smiling. “A lot. He’s never given me a reason to doubt him, and he’s always there for me. Like my own personal super man, you know?” “Would you trust him if he told you when something wasn’t true?” “Yeah, I think I would.” “Do you trust Leon to keep you safe, including safe from yourself?” “Definitely.” “And lastly, do you think he would be alright being your support system?”
There was another pause in response. ‘Come on baby, you know me. You know I would say yes. Come on . . .’ he repeated to himself as if it would speed up your reply. ‘Don’t disappoint me baby.’
“You know, I can almost guarantee he would say yes and do it. Even if he didn’t want to, because he’s just a nice person like that. The best person actually.” 
“That’s good, that’s very good. I’m glad to hear that. Not everyone comes in with someone who can support them like that. Next, we’re going to make a short list of rules to follow with Leon, just as a reminder or affirmation, to help keep you grounded.” He grabbed the notepad and pencil from the side table before handing it over to you. “It’s best if you write them as we go along.” “Ok, I’m down with that.”
“First – remember that Leon only wants to help you, he has good intentions. Second – let Leon ground you, what he’s saying is true. Three – it’s ok to lean on him as much as you need, in fact it’s encouraged. Four – he knows what’s best, listen to him.” “Alright, got it.” You said, penciling down each of the reminders. “But the last one…I mean, I understand the others, but he knows best? I was hoping to still be independent at least as much as I can. That one just feels… I’m not sure how to put it into words.” “I can understand the hesitation. Giving up control can be the hardest part of these conditions, but sometimes false memories can lead to irrational thinking, emotional decision making, etc. It’s important to have someone not only to ground you, but who can act as a caretaker when needed, a guardian even.” “Am I going to be giving up rights to him or is it just something I should keep in mind? I guess I’m just confused, it’s a lot to grapple with.” “Well, I was going to ask if you’d be comfortable signing some consent forms just in case anything ever has to happen. It would allow Mr. Kennedy the right to decision making – but realistically, it shouldn’t come to that. Any inpatient treatment or conservatorship is something I use as a last-ditch effort for my patients. I prefer to work with my patients towards having as much autonomy as possible, but having back ups will always be my recommendation.” Taking in that information, you let out a sigh. “Gotcha… alright. I think I can be ok with that, but I’ll need to think on it more..” “Of course, take your time. Once you’re ready, make sure both you and Mr. Kennedy sign the forms. For homework, I want you to practice repeating these to yourself each day. If you can, also repeat them to yourself when you’re unsure of something.” 
“Noted, Doc.” Leon was ecstatic, making a mental note to add a bonus to the good doctor’s salary for that session. Every moment of it got him his money’s worth, and sunk you further into his grasp, just where he needed you to be. ‘Such a good girl, baby.’ He cooed at you in his mind, lovingly looking at you through the small handheld screen. It was enough to help him sleep easily that night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The return home from the mission was uneventful, same as it always was. He wrote his report on the flight back, gave his debriefing in front of some officials with Hunnigan at his side, and then he was off on his way back home. 
This time though, his lead foot was in action, slamming the jeep’s so fast it nearly squealed out of the D.S.O building as he barrelled down the highway, wind tossing his blonde locks back. All he wanted was to get home to you, see you face to face again after everything that happened. Were you alright? How were you doing after therapy? Leon had a million questions running through his head as he made that drive back.
The moment the jeep was parked, he hopped out of the side, not bothering with the door. Booking it to the elevator, he stood in the confined metal enclosure, squeezing the hand railing tightly with anticipation. He felt like a cat gearing up for a chase, he was antsy ready – and the moment the silver doors slid open he was off down the hallway, careful not to move too fast, not wanting the neighbors to hear him thudding down the hall. Leon checked the time on his watch twice as he stood outside your door, just to make sure before he knocked that you’d be there. Knuckles itching he beat his hand against the door. “Hold on!” Your voice on the other side of the door was soothing for him, especially after the past few days he’d spent apart from you. 
“Hey.” He said with a smile as the door opened revealing you there, pajama clad. You looked simply exhausted in a way Leon couldn’t quite understand. No bags under your eyes, or physical showcases of it, but something about you just screamed tired. “Hey Lee.” You replied softly, opening the door for him to step inside. One of the first times you’d done so in a long time – he could smell butter and garlic wafting through the air into his nostrils.. “What’s up?” He walked inside, following you to the small kitchen, leaning against the counter while he watched you cook. “I just got back from a work trip.” He said plainly. “Wanted to stop by and check in, make sure you were alright while I was gone and all that.” “Oh yeah, I think I’m doing better, all things considered. I had  a few therapy sessions too.” 
Leon grimaced at how you were holding the pot handle, no holder while stirring the pasta up a bit. Another reminder to him that you weren’t safe even when it came to the smaller things. “That’s good.” He said with a nod. “How did that go?” “They went well. Doctor Birkin is really nice – I owe you one for hooking me up like that.” And there, for the first time in who-knew-how-long was a smile on your face. Small, but there.
“Glad to hear it. Are you going to be seeing him regularly?” “I think so – some of the stuff he said left me feeling a little strange.” “Like?” “Just… he told me I had something like false memory syndrome? I’ve never heard of it before, but I guess it makes sense. He told me I should listen to you, since I trust you, to tell me what’s real and what’s not…” “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of it either – but it’s good to have an answer.” “Yeah, I guess that’s true. But it’s a lot you know? Feeling something so real and having to accept it’s not.” “I can understand that, for sure. Not exactly the same, but I’ve had my fair share of realizations about things I thought were true but turned out not to be.” “Really? Like what?” Leon froze in response to your question, he’d blurted the words out to connect with you, offer sympathies. He hadn’t directly thought about an answer too it. So many things ran through his had at a rapid pace. He considered explaining Raccoon City, or as much of it as he could. He considered just saying working for the government taught him much of the safety civilians expect is a lie – that he learned being a good person wasn’t enough to protect others. Then again, now wasn’t the time for all of that. He tried to come up with an answer but was left empty handed, he was about to stumble out an ‘ummm’ when you spoke instead, much to his relief. “Oh before I forget, there was something else I needed to talk to you about. Oh shit –” You said, turning to the pasta that had now boiled over. “Fuck.” You yanked your hand away from the bubbly mess to turn the stove off, quickly ripping the lid off the pasta letting the white mess return to normal liquid. Sticking a fork into the hot mix you let out a disappointed sigh. “Damn, turned to mush.”
Leon chuckled, putting an arm on your front and gently pulling you back from the stove. “Careful now before you light the place on fire too.” “Oh shut up.” But there was that smile on your face again for a brief moment, a steady reminder that this was all worth it again. “There goes dinner I guess.” “Don’t worry about it. Let me order something instead.” “You sure?” “Yeah, of course. When was the last time we watched a stupid movie and ate junk?” “Good point.” You conceded, following him over to your couch. You laid down, legs draped over his getting comfy in your spot while he opened some delivery app on his phone. “How’s your ankle?” “Much better, still a little sore if I put too much pressure, but I don’t have to wear a cast anymore. Just a brace and I can walk without crutches at least.” He nodded, putting in your regular order. “Chinese alright?” “You know me too well.” You sat up supporting yourself on your elbows for a moment. “Hey Lee? I know it’s been awhile, but would you mind staying the night? I’ve missed you.” “Sure. Would never turn down that offer.” He went to look back at his phone, surprised by how you sat up to move closer, resting your head on his shoulder, wrapping an arm around him from the side. “I’ve really missed you.” You said more firmly. “I’ve missed you too.” He tossed the phone to the side, order now placed before wrapping his arms around you, pulling you down on top of him. He looked up at you, waiting, giving you the chance to decide how you wanted things to go. “Can I kiss you again? I don’t know if I want to do more, but…” “Go for it princess.” Your lips were soft just like he remembered, plush and warm against his own, like they were just meant to meld together. He could feel you relax in his embrace and it was as if the past several weeks were erased from the fabric of time. He knew better than to push you this time around, instead, he let you linger there above him, head resting on his chest as he rubbed your back – the moment only being ruined by the sound of door being knocked on and his phone buzzing to indicate the food was left outside. “Sweetheart?” He called softly, but you hardly responded, lulled nearly to sleep in that awkward spot on top of him. He didn’t have the heart to move you, nor the want. He shrugged mentally deciding the food could wait awhile, having you here and close to him was enough for right now. You were where you belonged, with him, and soon that’s where you’d be permanently. “Good night baby.” He said softly before adjusting just slightly to make the positioning less uncomfortable himself, upcoming plans drifting through his own mind as he did his best to fall asleep.
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