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dragonsarecool123 · 10 months

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Aro and ace spec people need more representation. They need to be taught about in schools and they need to be shown in media.

Because my 12 year old self should not have had to feel broken, or worthless, or like I failed or was alone.

Because I should not have felt like me being aroace was something to be ashamed of.

Because I should not have been called a plant or a robot.

Because I should not have been told that I was broken and needed to see a doctor cause I had a hormone imbalance or that I needed therapy.

I should not have felt excluded by queer spaces cause they’ed never heard of my identity.

I should not have had to feel hurt when I came out to people and every single time I had to explain what my identity meant.

I should not have been told after explaining that I was too young to make this decision or that I should put myself in an uncomfortable situation by trying it before I decide on my identity.

I should not have been scared to tell my parents because they might send me to therapy (they didn’t they’re supportive and I love them).

AND AFTER ALL THIS SOME PEOPLE STILL HAVE THE NERVE TO SAY THAT ARO AND ACE SPEC PEOPLE AREN’T PART OF THE LGBTQIA+ BECAUSE WE’RE NOT DISCRIMINATED ENOUGH.

I AM NOT BROKEN, OR CONFUSED, OR JUST TRYING TO BE DIFFERENT, I DO NOT NEED TO BE FIXED OR TO SEE A DOCTOR. I AM AROACE AND NEITHER YOUR OPINION NOR YOUR RELIGION CAN CHANGE THAT.

AND IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT YOU CAN LEAVE ME ALONE BUT IF YOU COME UP AND ATTEMPT TO HATE ON ME I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE BECAUSE I AM D.O.N.E WITH APHOBIA.

Because my younger self didn’t deserve it, and I still don’t.

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dimdiamond · 3 months

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Just saw this aspec character ask to Neil Gaiman and why are people so harsh to the asker?

In an ideal world everyone would actually read the story or media and be open to any interpretation, especially of romantic and sexual and gender identities. But we leave in the real world and words do matter.

I don't know about you guys but I would appreciate it if the character I clearly see as aspec would say it aloud with pride so allos couldn't disregard it and I could feel seen.

As we celebrate every clearly gay/lesbian representation, aspecs deserve the same too.

With love,

A fellow aspec

#representation matters #i know a story doesn't need to say things out loud and i prefer that #but i don't get why when an aspec asks to be clearly represented they're dealt with isn't obvious already attitude #NO APPARENTLY IT'S NOT #talk with people outside the internet and see how often they don't even know asexuality or aromanticism #asexual #aromantic #aspec

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i-dreamed-i-had-a-son · 2 years

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Queer Obi-Wan >>>>>

Fandom acknowledging queer Obi-Wan >>>>>>>>>

Fandom only acknowledging Obi-Wan's bi identity and ignoring the much more strongly indicated aroace identity <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

#aroace obi wan kenobi #obi wan kenobi #star wars #kay can i just catch my breath for a second #i'm not even sorry #i know it's been a hot minute #but i keep seeing this and it is pissing me off #a lot of fans are being super biphobic which of course is trash and people need to shut up and deal with the fact that he's queer #but the essentially complete erasure of obi-wan's queerness beyond the bi aspect of his identity is incredibly hurtful and infuriating #this is a character that is finally explicitly written to be *like me*. aroace folks do not get that luxury and this is OBI-WAN HIMSELF #don't you DARE take that away from me. i have waited literally my whole life for representation that makes me feel this seen #and the fact that the only thing i ever see about obi-wan being queer is 'he's bi!!! uwu!!' is not ok. he is bi. AND he is aroace #and if you're going purely on the text that canonized this the aroace aspect of his orientation is much more strongly indicated #there's just a lot more focus placed on that aspect during the scene. so i don't understand why his aspec identity is being left out #except for the obvious answer which is that erasing aspec identities and characters has always been way more acceptable than it should be #people would be so much more aware of aspec identities if fandom didn't IMMEDIATELY ignore any canonically aspec characters #obi-wan is a massively popular character. do you know how powerful it would be to have a character at that scale be recognized as aspec??#it would inform so many people and enable conversations for so many more. it would make so many people feel known and seen #that's what representation is for!! that's what the whole thing is about!!! but no bc it's not as easy to explain that way he's just bi #screw that #obi wan is aroace. plain and simple and there's nothing you can do about it. and i would really like to see more people talking about that #again absolutely no problem with obi-wan's bi identity i am also bi and aroace (although i don't typically use that label)#i'm just...so tired of seeing the largest part of my identity (and arguably the larger part of his) completely erased #ughhhhh anyways rant over #kay has a party in the tags #aro #ace #asexual #aromantic #canon aroace characters

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featherzen · 2 years

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hello :)

#my art #aroace #I've been thinking a lot and I've blamed myself for not being like everyone else #asexual #aromantic #aspec #ive been pondering this for months now honestly #I've even been in a relationship before and it was nice but idk #but I learned something awesome. it's normal and valid not to be in love as well #I don't mind the idea of being in a relationship again but I treasure my platonic relationships #much more. there's a beauty in all sorts of love #and lately seeing other people's stories and representation has helped me out too #I am not attracted to anyone rn and that's okay!and I may never be and that's also okay!#do love my friends so much and right now that's all the love I need.#sorry it won't let me see the tags I'm typing so I hope these make sense skdhdk #anyways. tadaa #also! this is a secondary sona named Bee

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jiabeewrites · 2 years

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I have a theory

So in my English class we're learning about overpopulation and shit.

And so the teacher's like "oh yea y'know we need to spread the use of contraceptives and control the number of children and stuff"

and i'm just sitting here like:

"wait but what if... what if we just... y'know... SPREAD THE WORD ABOUT LGBTQIAP+ RIGHTS?!?! LIKE?!??! SPECIFICALLY ASEXUAL/AROMANTIC RIGHTS?!?!?

YES, SOME ASPEC PEOPLE ENJOY ROMANTIC/SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS OR ARE IN SOME BUT LIKE... there are still a good amount of us that aren't. The cool thing is that the aromantic/asexual spectrum is an umbrella, and we have people who do and don't want/like romantic/sexual relationships. I'm sure that there are ASPEC PEOPLE OUT THERE that don't know that there are people like them. People who aren't alloromantic/allosexual. There are probably people all over the world RIGHT NOW that feel that they don't belong because they don't fit into the neat little box of cishetallo that their culture tried to smush them into.

I've been asked if I had a crush, and so my response was "I don't like people." And I can't count the amount of times I've been asked "Oh, so are you asexual?"

AROMANTICISM IS VERY, VERY DIFFERENT FROM ASEXUALITY. I FEEL LIKE PEOPLE NEED TO SEE THIS.

(To clear things up, I'm Omni Aroflux Asexual. I'm afab genderqueer, and fall under the term "demigirl." I use she/they/xe pronouns.

But the community that I live in won't accept me for who I say to be. Because they're all devout Christians. And yes, I do respect that. I'm still a Christian, I just don't believe that God would allow all these different kinds of love to exist and yet say that they're wrong. After all, it does say that "God is Love." Sadly, I'm still in the closet, and I don't think I can ever come out ;-;)

TLDR:

Aromantic/Asexual Visibility is important. We're here. We're queer. We are part of the LGBTQIAP+ community. And we need to be heard. We need to be seen. PROMOTE AROMANTIC VISIBILITY. PROMOTE ASEXUAL VISIBILITY. Just because people don't know we exist doesn't mean we aren't here.

Love, Jiabee

#aromantic #aromanticism #asexual #asexuality #aromantic asexual #AROACE #arospec #aspec people are queer #yall need to respect that #acespec #jiabeespeaks #jiabeerants #LOVE YALL IN A PLATONIC WAY #<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 #lgbtq #lgbtq representation #lgbtqia #lgbtqiap+#omni aroflux ace

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agrebel18 · 10 months

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saw someone on here the other day say that we don’t need aromantic and asexual representation in media because that’s a “sanitized” identity like BITCH WHAT????? IF YOU CAN ONLY SEE ASPEC PEOPLE AS CHILDREN THAT IS A YOU PROBLEM.

#also. these people should know that sex isn’t the ONLY THING being queer is about. same for romance.#it IS something but it’s not for everyone nor does everyone have the same feelings on it #just. ugh #tw aphobia #aromantic #asexual #arospec #ace spec #aspec representation #aspec rep #aggie posts

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aptericia · 3 months

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Not proud to be here.

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Ok, here goes draft like 5 of this fucking post. I spent 4 hours tossing and turning in bed last night thinking about this, and then this morning I found a tumblr post that really helped me understand what I was trying to say.

The post talks about how aromantic "advocates" claim that "aros don't take up resources, so there's no reason not to include them!" And if that's actually what people believe, I think I can finally articulate why it is that I feel so alienated in queer spaces.

It's because aspecs in general aren't "welcomed" by much of the queer community. We're tolerated. We perhaps get the luxury of not being contradicted on our own identities, or not being specifically kicked out of LGBTQ-only spaces, but that's the whole point: what we get out of the queer "community" is people NOT doing things, not actually doing things FOR us. And that, frankly, is not enough. We deserve conversations about us. We deserve to have others consider our feelings, even when making lighthearted jokes. We deserve varied, respectful representation in media. We deserve the active deconstruction of amatonormativity in society. We deserve to have space made for us, rather than at most being told we should "go take up more space!" ourselves.

Of course, the reality is that my being aspec is a personal matter that does not inherently affect anyone else. But the same can be said for literally any queer identity. Your being gay doesn't say anything about me, so of course I shouldn't hurt you for it, but why should I help you either? Because your happiness and comfort are important. The same goes for aspecs.

And most of the time, I don't even need anyone to make space for or expend resources on me; I can live fine in everyday, non-queer-specific places without mentioning my identity at all. But it's the queer community that claims it will make that space for me, doesn't, and then acts defensive and morally pure if I call out the hypocrisy because "we're queer too, you can't erase our identities to advocate for yours!!!!"

Again, this post isn't about specifics. I have queer friends who are incredibly thoughtful and supportive about my identity, just as I have non-queer friends who are. I find more solidarity in aspec-only communities, as well as trans/genderqueer ones, although there are still many exceptions. This post is also not about amatonormative ideology, which is extremely common from queer and non-queer people alike. This post is about the reason I've felt so betrayed by the queer community.

--

On a personal note, I remember being so excited when I started identifying as aromantic (and later asexual). Fitting myself into labels has been a lifelong struggle for me; to this day I still can't confidently say if I'm White or PoC, neurotypical or neurodivergent, abled or disabled, cisgender or not cisgender. I continue to struggle making friends because I don't fall into social cliques. To discover that I officially, certainly, was LGBTQ+ lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. And now I'm just so sad to find that despite that, I'm still stuck in the middle. I didn't get rewarded with a community. I still feel alienated from both queer and non-queer people. I know it was silly to get my hopes up when there's such vast diversity in both groups, but it really was a disappointment. Going to my first Pride parade last year was really the moment where I realized this.

#my art #lgbtq+#lgbtqia #queer #aromantic #aro #aromantic asexual #aroace #aspec #social commentary #aro tag #eyestrain #<- idk?#kissing #long post #aphobia #arophobia #vent art

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coldbloodace · 11 months

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Ok. I need to get this out. I'll preface this by saying I'm very excited for the new season to be released, and I can't wait to see more of our ineffable couple.

The thing is, I've seen a lot of posts where people are hoping that this season will 'confirm' Aziraphale and Crowley's relationship, or they're hoping to get a kiss to make it 'official'.

Listen. Listen. Aziraphale and Crowley are already in a relationship. More importantly, they're in a queer relationship. Their relationship is already outside the norms of Heaven and Hell, Aziraphale visibly dresses as a gay man and has been among the gay social circles in history, Crowley changes his gender presentation and is comfortable with it, and they're both queer and hence their relationship has always been queer.

Maybe they'll kiss, maybe they'll have a verbal declaration of their love, but if they don't, it doesn't make their relationship 'queerbaiting' or not queer enough. Just because they don't fit into your ideas of a queer relationship or explicitly state they're a gay couple doesn't mean that they're not queer.

Many aspec and even other queer people feel represented by Aziraphale and Crowley, and you do not get to take that away from us. Western media hasn't always been kind to gay relationships, but Good Omens is not one of them. If you do not like the representation, then feel free to watch other shows that have explicit romantic/sexual relationships. Don't drag this show into the apparent '''queerbaiting'''.

#aspec discourse during pride month was not on my 2023 bingo card #this is the only thing i'm worried about when the season will be released #i know there was a lot of discourse back when s1 was released #not looking forward to a repeat of that #good omens #good omens season 2 #gos2 #coldace thoughts

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codthefishgod · 1 month

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To all the people who think aspec people aren't LGBTQIA+ because we aren't "discriminated against enough", here's a lovely list of reasons why you need to educate yourself:

- We suffer from dehumanisation, people actively devaluing or even erasing our humanity because of our identities (The voidpunk community is heavily supported by aspec people because of this)

- We suffer from self hatred due to feeling as if and being told we are broken, that no one can be happy unless they're in a romantic/sexual relationship, because of allonormativity and amatonormativity that actively damages our mental health

- Amatonormativity shapes laws that put us at an active disadvantage, such as giving married people financial and legal benefits

- Aspec people have been victims of conversion therapy, correctional rape, a lower quality of life, and other effects of being a marginalised and oppressed group

- We suffer from our identities being pathologised and deal with medical stigma because of this, causing many of us to feel unwelcome in and even avoid health care settings

- We suffer from our identities being erased, which can range from people completely denying our existence and people equating it to celibacy, to an almost complete absence of aspec representation in the media (It's been getting better lately, especially for alloaces and aroaces, but I have yet to ever see a canon aroallo character, and representation for those on the spectrum rather than in the extremes is often ignored)

- YOU are creating a hateful, exclusionary space in a community meant to be about inclusion. The same thing that happens to us happens to bisexual people, to polyamorous people, and other identities that are "disputed." In a community meant to be about rejecting the norm, YOU are shoving us out because we don't fit the norm of being LGBTQIA+. Because we're not enough like you.

These are only a few examples of aphobia that people like me deal with. Discrimination and oppression against aspec people stretches far beyond this.

But even if it didn't, it is disrespectful and harmful to everyone involved to gatekeep membership in the community based on oppression and discrimination.

We aren't LGBTQIA+ because we experience oppression. We are LGBTQIA+ because our existence alone goes against heteronormativity and other societal norms forced upon us.

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alastors-antlers · 3 months

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Being someone who sees a lot of talk about shipping Alastor (sexually, romantically) in fanworks, I just want to take some time to talk about both sides of the issue. It's long, I know - please, please bear with me until the end, and I hope you'll understand what I mean in a bit.

I hope this helps someone, but as an aroace person who understands the frustration and hurt, this is often how it feels to me:

Alastor, being one of the limited cases of aspec rep that I've seen and one of even fewer which I actually enjoyed, means a lot to me.

That being said, his canon rep establishes that he's aroace but not much about how this factors into his life or relationships at all -- and when there's a gap in canon, I turn to fanfiction, which tends to spotlight characters' queerness even when the source material doesn't or can't. Don't we all want to see ourselves in the media we engage with?

When I pull up AO3, there are already a good number of fics about him. Great! Some of them are definitely incredible; but as I read on, it starts to seem like a lot of fics I see acknowledge that he's asexual or aromantic in some way but don't really factor that into the story. It reads like you could have written the story without keeping his queer identity in mind, and it would've come out the same.

Even when representation that does resonate with me exists, it starts to be exhausting to pick through the slash tags to see which ones are written in an aspec-coded way, so I wonder if it would be easier to not read anything with slash at all. On the other hand, when you filter ships out completely, only a tiny fraction of the fanworks are left.

People often respond that aspec people can have relationships, and I think we tend to know that. They can have sex, some can experience sexual attraction in select situations, they can romance others beyond romantic attraction -- any combination of things. But some aroace people don't want either, and sometimes we're struggling to see ourselves in how Alastor is typically portrayed.

Out of all of the fics, sex-repulsed, totally aromantic Alastor isn't seen much. And when Alastor's limited canon seems to be pretty supportive of a reading where he is those things...

Sometimes, you start to feel lost. If fics were evenly distributed along the aroace spectrum of experiences, wouldn't you expect more fics of him being the "totally uninterested" brand of aroace? But there aren't. People seem to have a preference toward seeing him in relationships. Even if they mean well, it can make you think: what does that say about how we view asexuality/aromanticism as a whole?

Is there something less interesting about Alastor, when romance is taken out of the picture? Do others find him less appealing as a character if they can't see him dating, or in love, or having sex or wanting it? Why do we need romance, when romance is already everywhere else, when it doesn't even feel like he was originally really interested? It brings to mind a struggle to be societally accepted, even today.

Even when it's not technically wrong to write Alastor as you see him, being told that we should all be able to ship him however we want can feel like this:

It brings to mind people who try to swing in with misinformed good intentions, telling us "oh, you're aromantic? but you can still have romantic relationships, right? so you can still be normal." when all we want is to be okay outside of the normal.

Or trying to find a partner who can be with us, out of everyone who tells us "I know you don't enjoy sex, and that's okay, but I can't have a romantic relationship with you without it." and being so tired of hoping for someone who gets it.

Or talking with peers, and hearing them all commiserate and fawn over their experiences with love, then telling them about someone you like non-romantically and getting "aww, it sounds like somebody's got a crush!" but not being believed when you tell them it's not like that at all.

Alastor is not a big deal, not really, not in the grand scheme of things. But in an allonormative world, it can feel like a sudden splash of cold water when we were expecting a warm fire to sit around. Even within this ecosystem, we squint to see ourselves reflected.

Society isn't built for us. It can be exhausting to be reminded of that.

~~~

I hope to support people writing Alastor as any variation of aspec, or not even aspec at all. At the end of the day, I think that fanon is really whatever you want it to be, and everyone has their own reasons for writing what they find enjoyable. They should be allowed to do so, and I want to believe that people do what they do with good intentions.

They want to imagine scenarios with the templates of characters they love, and that's okay; even beyond sexuality/queer identities/etc., fan interpretations of characters can be incredibly, wildly different from who they really are in the story anyway, and that's what I try to remind myself. But still, I also can't help feeling disappointed about the aroace representation we could have seen.

(Is Alastor canonically sex-repulsed? Uhh, maybe. If I had to guess, that'd be my top guess, but this might be a hot take: I wouldn't really say there's enough to go off of considering that this view is supported by Angel propositioning him both times, and it's not like Alastor is a particularly big fan of Angel at those points anyway lol)

To my fellow aroaces struggling with Alastor's fandom rep: if you need a break from it all; if you need to block the tags that you hate; if you need to talk to someone about how you're feeling; that's okay. It makes sense that you'd want more representation in a way that helps you feel seen and validated and less alone. I can't speak for everyone, but I think I get it.

I don't have any solutions for how you're feeling, because sometimes I'm feeling the same way. I understand that you want others to get your position and you have the right to express your feelings, but even if you're correct, often being angry or frustrated won't help change others' minds, so let's try to save our energy and take care of ourselves.

Something that helps me to think about is that even now, asexuality is gaining more visibility. We're gaining support. Real change is happening in the world that's helping incredible amounts of aspec people feel freer to be themselves. And maybe one day, we won't be reaching to protect our scraps of representation.

Let's fight until that day together <3

#seriously I appreciate everyone who's out here posting about alastor I love being in the radio demon fanclub lol #just some thoughts that's all and maybe it'll resonate with others #please let's be patient with each other though it's rough out there already #alastor #hazbin #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel #asexual #aromantic #asexual alastor #aromantic alastor #aroace alastor #alastor hazbin #ace #aro

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starchilddante · 4 months

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Every ace person NEEDS this freaking book

It has a dozen fiction stories with ace characters all over the spectrum and in so many genres. Im talking ghost stories, supernatural, drama, sci-fi, you name it. I've literally cried three times while reading it I feel so seen

This is the representation ace people need. In every category. We need full length novels dedicated to the ace experience because this would've SAVED me as a kid.

If you're on the aspec, this books is for you.

#asexual #pride #lgbtq #ace pride #ace representation #aspec community #books #lgbtq books #being ace #madeline dyer #aromantic #aroace #ace is not a choice #ace is valid

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aro-absol · 9 months

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So, I gotta rant about a thing regarding heartstopper that I see so often and it annoys the hell out of me.

Isaac is canonically aroace. AROace.

It drives me crazy when people talk about him "discovering he's ace", calling him an "ace icon" or praising his "ace storyline ".

Like NOTHING about his storyline is inherently about being asexual. It is about not knowing what crushes feel like, not being able to reciprocate crushes, never getting celebrity crushes, feeling nothing when kissing, and just feeling out of place with his friends all dating. Those are all typical aromantic experiences.

Isaac is the only canonically aro character in a mainstream tv series that actually mentions the label on screen. The only other characters I can think of that are called aromantic on screen are in very niche j-dramas that are basically unheard-of outside the aspec bubble.

We need this kind of representation so badly. It could help raise the awareness that we need to fight so many arophobic stereotypes.

I do not like to play Oppression Olympics or anything as we all are fighting against aphobia and are barely represented. But... we literally need his representation more than the asexual community does. There are several other mainstream (or at least semi-mainstream) TV shows that have canon ace characters while also using the word asexual for them. There are Cash from Heartbreak High and Todd from Bojack Horseman, just to name two from the top of my head.

I'm not asking you to stop calling him asexual. Just, PLEASE call him aromantic, too.

#heartstopper #heartstopper spoilers #isaac heartstopper #isaac henderson #aromantic #aro #asexual #ace #aroace #aspec #things i wrote in one sitting without proofreading #aromantic erasure #aro erasure #rant

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slothkittfunsies · 2 months

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Deep Dive into the issues on Alastor.

CONTENT WARNING: Racism, Aphobia.

Now that I created a blog specifically for stuff like this, It's time for the dive.

Alastor is a character that resonates with me, because this guy is supposed to represent me and my people (aspec/aroace community) and I liked his pilot personality. (That went to shit)

This man got so many issues, that i have to take the pen myself and scribble what Vivzie has wrote. So, Let's start, shall we?

THE DESIGN

The first time I saw the Hazbin pilot, I got confused about what Alastor was supposed to be. I thought he was just a grey human wearing some kind of animal ears until the fandom said he is a deer.

A deer. Let that sink in.

(Images for comparsion)

As someone passionate about the arts, this upset me. Sure, I haven't been to art school, but even I know you need to put the backstory and features in mind when designing a character.

Character design is NOT throwing things at the wall and seeing which sticks. It needs actual critical thinking. If your audience is confused about your character's species, it's time to go back to the drawing table (unless you have a reason for making it mysterious.)

Second, the overabundance of red is awful in terms of color theory. This guy is in Hell, which is also red, causing an eyesore. I got a headache when trying to focus on him on a red background. And also, colors have meaning. People associate red with danger, so the fact he even managed to get victims to kill makes me puzzled.

Also, the fact he's supposed to be mixed/black makes this design even worse. Why is he grey instead of brown, perhaps? Vivzie has a pattern of making POCs grey-skinned, which is, again, awful.

I think Vivzie only made him a POC due to the voodoo issue. I mean, just remove the symbols and you are done. But nah the symbols are too "aesthetic" to remove. So gotta change his race.

She could have used another symbols, like THIS for example:

Since, you know, he's the "Radio Demon"?

THE BACKSTORY

Ok, this where I'm very confused.

Alastor is a radio host, and also a serial killer. He was born in the USA, got killed by a deer hunter by mistake, and lived in the 1920's.

This is what I gathered from being a superfan back then, and it sounds unorganised/cluttered. And the years he lived in make his design even worse. (Again! His clothing doesn't speak the 1920s!)

The fact he's from an old era, and yet speaks in modern slang is weird. He's supposed to hate anything modern, and yet he does it anyway? His saying "fuck" multiple times is so out of character for him. I guess the "If made by Vivziepop" memes have some truth.

Putting the fact he's mixed, makes the backstory more confusing. How did he manage to be a popular radio host at the time before the civil rights movement became a thing? He will have been put down like the rest of the POCs in America. Either that he's white-passing, or it's VERY difficult. Adding the fact he's a serial killer makes me think how the cops didn't get to him (the mere fact he's black should have got him questioned in 1920s America)

Now, for his identity. I'm mad he's the only aroace character in the sea of gays and bisexuals. (I'm not saying gay men and bisexual people should not have representation. I have to say that due to tumblr's piss poor reading comprehersion)

which made me go through on why Vivzie made him aroace in the first place. I don't know if this is true, but I heard she made him aroace because "he only loves himself"

Um. Here we go again with allos assuming we are non-empathic psychopaths for our lack of sexual or/and romantic attraction. I hope that's not true at all, but knowing Vivzie's past, I wouldn't be surprised.

Alastor would have been a great character if another person took care of it instead of Vivziepop. What I'm gonna say is, wasted potential.

#hazbin hotel critical #vivziepop critical #hazbin critique #hazbin critical #spindlehorse critical

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unnecessarilygrandiose · 9 months

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this is something important about heartstopper that i think needs to be said, to aspec people specifically:

please be kind to isaac and the aroace representation we'll get come thursday.

aroace rep is something we get very rarely, especially on the screen. i can think of exactly two shows with aroace characters, and one of them is heartstopper. so it's not unfair of us to hope that we each get to see our experience represented in isaac.

but like. that's simply not going to happen.

isaac is one character. he can only represent one kind of experience about what being aroace entails. and every single aspec person has had a different experience with realising their identity and coming to terms with it. everyone has a different relationship with the complexities of their sexuality and labels.

and y'know, it could be disappointing to expect something from a character you thought was representing you and see them be something very different. hell, i can bet anything that at least a few aspec people will be completely disillusioned with whatever we'll get.

but 'i didn't like this' doesn't automatically mean 'it was bad'. maybe it means that 'this didn't represent me, which was sad, but it did represent some people, and it was a cornerstone in aroace representation in mainstream media as a whole, which is good.'

(i mean, i'm not saying there's a zero chance it'll be objectively bad and harmful rep, but the chance of that is extremely low, since alice is aroace themself. also, loveless is an amazing book)

i feel compelled to say this because we know that it's going to be a while before isaac is comfortable with his identity, which can be upsetting to watch because the 'you can't be happy without romance and whole without sex' is pushed pretty hard onto us on a regular basis, and there's this sort of defensiveness where we kind of want any fictional aroace characters to be immediately accepting of themself because no, we're actually very happy and completely whole without those things, thank you very much. this was the main criticism of loveless by many aspec people— that it didn't represent them because georgia struggled so much with her identity.

but. just because you personally didn't have to face that (and good for you!) doesn't mean it's not a very real experience many aroace people go through every day.

just because our first mainstream media rep of being aroace isn't an easy, feel good story, doesn't mean it's not important.

be as disappointed with isaac as you want if he doesn't represent you—but please still be kind to him. if we're too harsh in our criticism, the creators who worked on this story might feel discouraged from creating more aroace characters and stories.

more aspec rep, especially aro and aroace rep, is important! more rep means more variety! it means a greater chance of all of us finding stories we love and resonate to! but if we don't get everything we want the first time, please let's not call it bad and demotivate the very people who can give us more.

#heartstopper #heartstopper netflix #heartstopper tv #isaac henderson #aroace rep #aroace #aromantic #asexual #thank you for reading!

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kalfui · 2 months

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been thinking about aroace alastor a lot, in the sense that ofc this is simply canon and i wouldnt even BE thinking about it beyond a simple "woohoo this is fun, let's think about how that might have affected him and his relationships both whilst alive and after his death and fic and art and the usual joy of character analysis" if it weren't for the fact that it seems to be a flipping fight to just. Have that canon be acknowledged, which is taking up so much energy that it's honestly hard for me to enjoy him as much as I wish, considering this rep is supposed to be For people like me

and I think that's so much of my frustration around all of this, which IS mitigated by just finding a few chill people to follow and focusing on that -- but even then most of my "suggested for you" for this show is alastor x [insert any random main character] shipping/sexual content -- is that this is an offering for people to learn something new and delve into experiences that they may not have thought much about and the ones who know what aroace means, and in particular within the realms of how this character is being written within this particular very-sex-heavy universe (so, not so different from real life), by and large decided to just go "nah." people aren't interested in aroace experiences, and it's weird from a "so you just don't like a large part of this character's canon traits then, do you like the actual character, or just the OC you've made up in your head that happens to look like them?" perspective, but mostly for me it's that a lot of the way people talk/write about this it's like aroaceness is something that needs to be Fixed Somehow, and thank Goodness there's a neat little loophole that we can utilise in the form of "well sooooome aroace people do want to have sex and be in a relationship"

so many of the things I can't help but see, block, move on from, and in the ao3 alastor tag (which, it's frankly wild to me that aroace alastor has to be a specific tag, because so much of it ISN'T that, and even then we have to sift) is either just the equivalent of going "lalalala if I don't think about the aroaceness it's not real" or the even more disturbing "now how do we fix this so that the ace character can still fuck somehow." it's really creepy, and very much how people talk about aspec people irl. it's just incredibly poor taste and shows that this community is still so invisible

people really ought to think more about why this is such an important hill for them to die on that they want to Fix aroaceness in one of the only genre-fiction characters to be canonically such, ON a show where every other character enthusiastically enjoys sex and most of them are in established relationships or various slowburns -- why is the character that is not interested the one that is shipped with every other character to such an extreme?

I feel like anyone writing an aroace alastor that mysteriously can be compelled into sex and a romantic relationship needs to give me a 3000 page essay on the history and philosophy of aspec identities with a special section on aroace representation in media

but ultimately it's just a "look. please be kinder. if you look in our sandbox we have barely any toys, why are you coming into this sandbox to take more of them and then rubbing our faces in it and THEN being rude to aspec people when we say it makes many of us uncomfortable to be sidelined like this?"

I keep thinking of that one screenshot that was going around tumblr of the person who wrote straight brokeback mountain fic that everyone was going WTF about. why is it alright to "headcanon" away canon aroaceness (and mock people who point out its canonicity), but it's largely agreed to be in poor taste to do so with other canonically established queer identities?

I get fandom's not activism, but it sure sometimes can be a yardstick for how much I'd trust people to respect me irl, when I cannot enjoy aroace escapism without being talked over/mocked/yelled at AND having aspec theories appropriated without any understanding of what they actually mean or how they apply -- this history and community is a part of my life, and it's like people are just traipsing mud through it with the lack of respect for it (as lucifer would say "you come into MY house bitch???")

(apologies this got long. you don't have to post if you don't want to, I get that it could be inflammatory and don't want to put that on you, I've just been needing to vent. I just feel like I'm going a bit crazy with how nigh-impossible it is to avoid this -- why am I the one who's having to make all that extra effort to enjoy a character written with my community in mind? don't y'all have enough toys???)

Don't apologize, I absolutely love reading how others feel about this situation, and I completely agree.

I think it's sad how people don't want to think about a characters aroaceness and how it affects them and instead just throw that part of them out of the window. I think it's even more interesting since Alastor canonically thinks that he's straight, but hasn't found the right one yet.

"Headcanoning" a canonically aroace character a different sexuality is so.. I don't even have a word it. Many people "headcanon" Alastor a different sexuality, but keep it canon when it's Angel Dust or Vaggie. Personally, I think it stems from aphobia. Just like you mentioned, people feel the need to "fix" aroace characters, like their sexuality is a messed up or broken part of them. It reminds me of when I used to hear teachers talk about how everyone will someday find love, and the ones who don't will have a huge gap in their heart and be empty. It's quite terrifying just how similar it is. The fact that he, as the only confirmed aroace character, is shipped the most, too, is quite saddening.

It's disturbing how they search and search for stuff to use as excuses when they ship aroace characters. "Aroace people can still date," "It's just headcanons," "Alastor is not canonically aro," and so on.

Ao3 scares me, especially with characters like Alastor. You don't even wanna know how many times I've seen people say, "I know Alastor is aroace, but we'll just ignore that" in fics. Most of the time, they even change his character completely, and he's so out of character.

It also kinda disgusts me with the stuff people say about Alastor, I can be scrolling on Tumblr and a post comes up saying how Alastor would fuck the living shit out of you and it's so fucking disturbing and graphic, I guess this is just how it is generally when people talk about fan favorite characters, but when it's an aroace character too, like.. no, he wouldn't do any of that.. It's so weird. This is what people care about, sexualizing. They don't even seem to care how much of a complex character he actually is, but only how he would be during sex, and it's quite disturbing that most of the time he is the victim to these type of comments.

And, with the amount of hate I've gotten from tiktokers in my comment replies saying how either Alastor isn't aro, how he's just fictional and it's not erasing any representation by shipping him, how aroace people can still date, how Viv allowed them to ship him, and even saying that it's okay to ship him because he's a stereotype and bad rep (???) and whatever else they have to say, I quite literally do not care. I'm not gonna be humiliated into silence, I'm not ashamed about the fact I'm trying to keep these crumbs of representation we have left. "Boohoo, you talk too much about Alastor being aroace," and I'll continue, I think that's a lovely and very interesting part about his character, especially from the time period is from, and the fact he's unaware too.

it's kinda sad how a lot of people don't even know that he's aro, I wouldn't either since all the fandom does with him is ship him. There are so many other relationships people could dive into, Husk and Angel Dust, Charlie and Vaggie, Vox and Valentino, and many more, but yet they go for the aroace character.. Also the fact that since the pilot the character he's mostly been shipped with is Angel, a character who makes a lot of sexual remarks towards Alastor which he very obviously feels repulsed and disgusted by, is kinda just.. where's the appeal when he's clearly disgusted? Is that part of it? I'm glad that there is a side of this fandom where people actually love him for his character and not just because he's attractive.

Other than that, I'm very glad the show itself knows how to show he can have meaningful friendships and platonic relationships with people, such as Rosie, and didn't make him an edgelord that hates everyone and doesn't have friends for some random reason.

Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts with me, I enjoyed reading through it, and again, I completely agree. I just hope the fandom could realize he's a lovely character and that him being aroace is just a part of him like it is of us.

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leikeliscomet · 3 months

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Racism in the ace community is seen as a joke from the outside and a confusing concept in the inside but it's pretty bait tbh:

Barbie, Wednesday and Elsa are ace-coded but not canon aces but they're widely accepted as ace icons in the community. Lacking genitalia, disliking romance and being single are not inherently asexual yet the community happily claims them as ace solely on those reasons. But Selah Summers? Nah she actually didn't say the words "aroace" even though the director confirmed it so she didn't really count. Abbi Singh? Nah she had a girlfriend and her superpower is being a succubus and it's not like the Imperfects actually addressed the themes of an asexual lesbian South Asian woman and her sexuality or anything. Fei Hargreeves? Well yeah the actress and producer confirmed it but she never said it on screen. Ace characters of colour always get held "screened" for approval to be "real rep" in a way white aces aren't its so weird (this also happens to gay aces but that's another post)

Almost anything involving Yasmin Benoit. The reason she's unacceptable ace rep is because of misogynoir. She's spoken so many times about never dating and not having sex (which mind you is none of our business and she shouldn't need to explain herself in the 1st place) and yet she's "too sexual" to represent the community. Again with the nitpicking, popular white ace accounts were so quick to dogpile her for not-so-good takes but when she speaks about racism? Crickets. When she spoke about sexual harassment? Crickets and not only that but they defended her harasser. The main ace activists that defended her were other Black aspecs.

Not understanding how desexualisation affects POC. Specifically, Black women are excluded from representations of love and sex because we're seen as undesirable. It's common for TV/Film to pair up everyone but the Black girl, or have a rebound Black partner for the non-Black main character who's disposed of when they're ready for their "real" non-Black partner again. This isn't done for Black aspecs benefit. It's a form of dehumanisation. Friendship especially in m/f is needed but exclusively pushing for friendship between Black women and non-Black men when there is romance coded or confirmed and shaming Black women in fandom or in show for shipping the Black female character is not doing what you think its doing.

Not understanding how sexualisation effects POC. Again linking to Yasmin, POC, especially Black people have been sexualised due to white supremacy. The "allosexual privilege" framework fails to acknowledge this because Black people's sexual attraction and sex is seen as aggressive and animalistic. Black people aren't "allowed" to be ace because of this sexualisation and why Yasmin regardless of what she wears or does is seen is too promiscuous.

Not acknowledging ace POC as ace rep. Again, where was the acknowledgement of Selah and the Spades as groundbreaking rep? The first aroace darkskin Black girl as a lead in any film? Sherronda J Brown spoke about Big Mouth's Black ace character and someone said it didn't count just bc they dislike the show. Again with Abbi and Fei the community didn't make noise for them like they did Todd from Bojack Horseman or Florence from Sex Ed (mind you the gap between how they did Florence vs O is jarring in itself) Isaac from Heartstopper was inspirational for many aspecs and I wont take that away but the way he's instantly credited for ace representation when he has so little screentime compared to the others is wild.

Just tired tbh. "Listen to POC aces!" "POC aces are valid!" Prove it then...?

#venting bout ace stuff again #i got more to say too lol #asexual representation #black asexuals #black asexual #ace representation #black ace #black aces #asexual #asexuality

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