NOMNOMNOM
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I love you Dick Grayson. Sweetest baby Robin. Most beautiful of all. Beauty Incarnate. Charisma equalled only by sanctimonious bitchery and complete disregard for your own health and sanity. Best big brother in the whole world, with the possible exception of Roy. My darling baby. Heart of the DCU. Heir apparent of the Bat and spiritual successor of Superman. Your baby brothers adore you so much. You mean everything to Tim. Jason and Cass would have been so important to you too, if DC ever let us have anything. You have done so much wrong in your life, and also never done anything wrong. Bruce never deserved you, but his soul would have died without you. You and Babs are a complete trashfire who should never get together, but a part of her would die if the world didn't have you in it. You're Damian's only real father, and it's you he will always choose. You and Stephanie were made of dust from the same star. You should have been allowed to know and love each other. Shine bright you onyx diamond. One day you will have your Nightstar.
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Nightwing #100 variant cover by Babs Tarr
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the fact that the batfam has a canonically implied gc is amazing to me. like we knew this already but THE FACT THAT IT'S CANON. i just know they talk shit about each other on purpose
jason: [ photo of Dick face-first in a dumpster ]
jason: the first boy wonder, everyone
tim: the legacy was truly started by an icon
tim: is this what we should all aim to be?
damian: how did he even end up there? I refuse to believe he just fell.
jason: nah he just fell cause he's an idiot
dick: JASON TRIPPED ME DONT WVEN
tim: sounds like something someone embarrassed over falling would say
jason: shitty excuse. don't blame me for your failures
dick: ??????
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save me 90s bats…. 90s bats save me….
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I changed it from the original yet again, hope you like my crappy cat drawing added on to it! I hope y’all like it, I meant to post one a few days ago but forgot, so we’re skipping the Christmas one. (Unless I already did and just forgot about it)
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A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc
"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."
"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.
"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.
"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"
"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.
"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."
"This is where I live."
"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"
"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"
"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."
"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."
"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."
"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"
"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"
"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"
"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"
"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"
"Please, call me Bruce."
"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."
Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.
"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."
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City Lights
[prints]
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okay 1, 2, 3, and POSE!
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I mean just look at him:
He has a sparkling personality
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dick grayson has scary dog privilege but it’s just his younger siblings
dick: hi :D !!
cass, jason, tim & damian: *behind him, glaring*
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Dan Mora’s variant covers to Batgirls #13 and Nightwing #99
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Danny has too much on his plate to care about anything past paperwork and schoolwork, so he shoves the weird shit onto Tucker and Sam.
And Tucker and Sam, upon realizing that Danny can be summoned at any time, decide to fuck around.
Now, if anyone wants to summon the High King of the Infinite Realms, they have to say the entire chant in UwU.
But if they're doing it on a Thursday, it has to be in OwO.
BUT if they're doing it on the fifteeth of any month it has to be in pig latin.
If the Fifteen falls on a Thursday, pig latin in esperanto.
If the fifteenth falls on a Wednesday, then it has to be in interpretive dance.
The offerings are the following;
Monday; Pot Roast
Tuesday; case of soda
Wednesday; $30,000
Thursday; Pizza coupons
Friday; cheese
Saturday; cars
Sunday; the most up to date hand built computer
if any of these days is the fifteenth, the offering must be one of the ones mentioned above and also some cool bones.
All offerings must be performed in the ceremonial garb of dressing up as a being from another wor-cosplay. it's fucking cosplay.
As far as Sam and Tucker are concerned, job done. It's so weirdly specific and offputting that no one will summon Danny.
Danny, on the other hand, manages to get summoned by some weird blond guy speaking in OwO, dressed as a catgirl from some anime, in a circle made of pizza coupons.
The cosplayers look just as shocked to see him.
Meanwhile, Bruce is getting frantic calls from Tim that GothCon (some Anime Convention held in Gotham every year) is currently playing host to some sort of interdimensional being.
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sporacle
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