#because i was scared of the church judging me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

changbinlov3r · 2 months

Text

Style | Y.J.

Pairing: Jeongin x afab!reader

Summary: you always wanted to do something crazy, something different from what your family expects you to. Who would have guessed that you'd meet Yang Jeongin, the guy who has the worst reputation around town and the one who's ready to deviate you from god's path.

Words count: 7,037

THIS ONE AND ALL MY CONTENTS ARE +18, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!!!

Warnings: badboy!Jeongin, churchgirl!reader, exaggerated description of conservative/religious families, dirty talk, protected piv, oral(f. receiving), degradation(very little), praise(even less), biting(I think that's all, let me know if I forgot something)

A/N: inspired by TS' song Style, one of my favs.

You have been the pride and joy of your family since your birth, their perfect little daughter who is obedient and never goes against their word. You are a straight A’s student, the main singer of the church's choir, you’re never harsh and never vulgar, you're never free. That makes you mad, you have never enjoyed your life, like truly enjoyed it, you have been living for others this whole time and you’re tired of it.

“You know what?” Soyeon, your newest friend says, “we should go out”

“To go where?” You ask, confused. You two are seated together in your social studies class, she’s different from all your other friends and your parents would definitely kill you if they ever found out that you befriended someone like her. In your eyes, you know there’s nothing wrong with her but you know they would never agree with this friendship the moment they laid eyes on Soyeon.

She has tattoos all over her body and her hair is pink, she wears strong makeup and clothes that show too much skin, nothing like you. You had to beg your parents to let you wear jeans when you got into college, telling them the long dresses would make you stand out too much and at the same time that they gave you an earful because you were giving in to the sins of the world, they agreed that it wouldn’t be a good idea for their pristine daughter to get too much attention.

Your circle of friends in college is basically the same as the one you had in high school, mostly people from the church, people just like your parents, who judge others based on looks so it was shocking for you when Soyeon approached you first and it was even more shocking when you realized how much you both have in common. She also comes from a conservative family, but unlike you, she decided to rebel at a young age, she chose to be free.

“There’s a new club in the city, I think you’re going to like it”, she tells you, looking the place up on the internet to show it to you.

“I don’t think my parents would let me go”, you chuckle looking at the pictures and at the people in the pictures, you’d definitely stand out in there.

“And who's talking about asking for permission?” She giggles, watching your horrified face.

“I could never”, you shake your head frantically, anxiety growing in your chest just by thinking about it.

“Y/N, you’re always telling me how much you wanted to be brave and do something impulsive, this is your chance”, she pushes, seeing you bite on your bottom lip, wondering if it would be okay to do that just this once.

“But how am I going to explain to them the reason I’m going out at night?”

Soyeon chuckles, amused.

“Have you ever heard of lying?” She asks, sarcastically, making you blush.

“Stop”, you pout, making her laugh loudly.

“Just tell them you are going to have a sleepover with your righteous friends or whatever, I don’t think they are going to doubt you”, Soyeon suggests.

“Fine, yeah, I can do that”, you say, trying not to shiver at the simple thought of lying. You don’t think you have ever lied to your parents, too afraid of what would happen if you were caught, scared that you’d lose the little bit of freedom you have but maybe it’s worth it this time, maybe you’re going to find a whole new world.

You don’t know why Soyeon asked to meet so much earlier than the actual time of the party. Everything goes well with your parents, you never gave them reason to distrust you so they don’t even think too much of it, telling you to come back first thing in the morning for your prayers.

You go to Soyeon’s house, her parents love you, hoping that you’re going to bring their daughter back to the righteous path, little do they know that she’s the one who’s trying to deviate you from that very path.

Since she’s with you, they believe in everything she says about how you two are going to watch a movie in the theater and then she’s gonna sleep at your house. And you do go to the theater, or better, to the restroom there.

“What are we doing here?” You ask, confused, when she locks you both in the tiny space.

“What do you mean?” She seems as confused as you, looking for something in her bag and then she looks at you, realizing something and laughing. “Girl, bold of you to think I’d let you go dressed like that”, she says, staring at you up and down.

“What’s wrong with my clothes?” You ask, looking at yourself.

“Hm, there’s nothing wrong if you were really going to the theater”, she says, pulling out a few clothes out of her bag, “you’re going to a club, you need to look hot.

“Why?” You inquire again, tilting your head.

“Just because”, she loses her patience, handing you the clothes, “now put this on, I’ll do your makeup after you finish dressing.

“I don’t think this is right”, you tell her from inside the booth, opening the door to find Soyeon frowning.

“What is not right?” She asks, and you look down.

“Is this supposed to be a skirt?” You ask, pulling down the small piece of fabric that’s barely covering your ass.

“That’s how people dress, you’re the one who’s always covering yourself”, she explains, coming close to you. “Now, I’m gonna do your makeup, don’t worry, I’m going to take it easy this time”

“This time?” You murmur, making her chuckle, ignoring your question while she pulls her makeup accessories out of the bag.

You can barely recognize yourself when you look in the mirror, but strangely that doesn’t bother you. You are used to always feeling plain and boring but right in this moment, you feel interesting for the first time in your life. Soyeon really didn’t exaggerate on your makeup, she just put on some mascara on your eyes and a red lipstick on your lips. The silk tank top you’re wearing suits you best if you go braless and the skirt is still too short for your taste but anything over knee length is too short for you.

The club is crowded, you don’t think you ever went to a place so full of people and so full of life. People are laughing, kissing each other, dancing, enjoying themselves and that’s something so rare to see in your everyday life, it's delightful to you.

“Do you wanna drink something?” Soyeon asks, loud enough for you to hear.

“I think just water for now”, you tell her and she nods, your friend is not one to pressure you to do something you don’t want.

“I’m going to the bar, okay? I’ll be back in a minute”, she says, as soon as you both reach a booth.

You nod, watching as she struggles to squeeze herself in between the people dancing, you’re not sure if she’s going to be able to arrive safe and sound to the bar.

You look around, you think you know a few people from your school but you hope they don’t recognize you. However, there is a pair of eyes that catch your attention, making you stop to stare at him for a whole minute before he smirks, giving a step in your direction until you realize that he’s coming to you.

You know him, you know him so well. That’s the guy all your friends told you to stay away from, even your parents warned you about him. Yang Jeongin, the city heartthrob.

Jeongin is a known rake, he goes around causing trouble and breaking hearts and that’s something you don’t want anything to do with. Then, why can’t you move? Why does it feel like he’s pulling you like a magnet, like you can’t get up while he has his eyes on you.

You look around, trying to see if Soyeon is close by to save you from him but she’s nowhere to be seen and in an instant he arrives at your table, tilting his head and looking at you up and down. Jeongin raises a brow, watching as you fidget on your seat.

“I don’t think we have met”, he says, sitting down.

“We haven’t”, you say, drily.

“But I think you know me”, he smirks, “And I know you — I mean, the other version of you”

“Well, if you know me, you should also know that there’s nothing for you here”, you tell him, feeling nervous, a strange heat spreading around your lower belly.

He chuckles, sliding in the booth to sit right by your side, slipping his arm around your shoulder.

“Any knowledge I had about you went down the drain the moment you stepped in this party wearing this tiny piece of fabric you call a skirt”, he murmurs too closely, eyes fixed on yours, making your heart beat faster. You should definitely tell him to leave since you have the slight idea about where this is going but at the same time you don't want him to leave. God forbid anyone knows that you ever let this man touch you but you sure want him to. You can't even blame the alcohol since you didn't drink any but you can blame Soyeon for leaving you alone in a place where Jeongin is. Having him so close to you is making your head hurt, you feel your whole body turning hot, the throbbing on your upper body making you dizzy.

Something takes control over you, making you turn your upper body over to him, clicking your tongue next and smirking.

“Shall we get to know each other, then?” You hear your voice but don't know where that courage came from.

“I'd like that”, he squeezes his body even closer to you. Jeongin leans over the table, resting his chin on his hand while he rests his elbow on the metal surface. “You look stunning tonight by the way, very different from the way you look on the daily basis”

“So you really know who I am”, you ask, surprised.

“Of course, you're the college's model for good behavior”, he chuckles, “the amount of times I heard professors bringing you up as an example is crazy”

“Well, it's the opposite with you”, you shrug.

“Ouch”, he pouts, “why does it sounds like you don't like me”

“It's ‘cause I don't”

“I'm sure I can change your mind”, he leans in closer once more.

“Oh, pray tell, how are you going to do that?” You scoff, amused. There's no way this guy has gam-

“Have you ever had your pussy eaten?”

You almost choke on the air you just breathed.

“Wh-what?” You gulp, trying to recompose yourself.

“I'm sure you're gonna like me after I eat you out”, he smirks.

You roll your eyes, scoffing at him, trying to hide your embarrassment and how hot you're feeling.

“Do you say that to all the girls you try to sleep with?” You ask, crossing your arms in front of your chest, making your boobs go up, something that makes Jeongin's eyes go down to stare at your breasts, the smirk growing bigger in his lips.

“Only to the special one's”, he tells you, nonchalantly, raising a brow. Before you can retort, you see Soyeon coming in your direction with drinks in both hands.

“Sorry, it took ages for someone to get my order”, she says, tilting her head in confusion when she looks at Jeongin. “Am I interrupting something?”

“Not at all”, Jeongin is the one to say, “I was just about to leave, it's nice to see you by the way”, he smiles at Soyeon while getting up. “If you change your mind, feel free to come find me”, he says, winking at you before turning around and disappearing into the crowd.

Soyeon sets the drinks on the table, sitting by your side with a puzzled face.

“What was that about?” She asks.

“Nothing”, you sigh, fanning yourself to try and calm down and ease your hot face.

“Well, by the way you are reacting it doesn't look like nothing”

“He was hitting on me”, you say, feeling embarrassed again. “I told him I'm not interested”

“Why?” Soyeon asks, more confused than before.

“What do you mean ‘why’? He's Yang Jeongin, the guy who everyone warns us about”, you answer like it's obvious.

“Nope, he's the guy the people from your church warned you about”, she chuckles, “I know him and he's not that bad, but it's true that he can't keep it in his pants”

“Even if it's not as bad as people painted him to be…”, you lean closer to her so you can talk lower, “... I never did anything, I don't know if it's okay for me to do it here”

“And who's the person who's going to tell you if it's okay or not?” Soyeon asks, “you should do what you feel like doing, don't think about your parents or your church, just think about what you wanna do”

You stare at Soyeon for a moment, biting on your bottom lip. You know she's right, you do, but are you brave enough to take the risk?

“Do you have a con…dom?” You ask, feeling your cheeks hot and a big smile grows on your friend's face.

“I sure do”, she answers, opening her bag and looking for it inside, grabbing two packages and giving it to you. “Don't feel like you have to do this, you can just try and see what happens. I have known Jeongin for quite a while and I know he wouldn't do anything you're not up to”, Soyeon assures you.

You nod, getting up. There's nothing wrong with trying, right? Your parents will never know and it's not like he's going to tell anyone too.

You walk in the direction Jeongin went, squeezing yourself in the middle of the crowd, looking around to find the man. There are so many different people, but you're sure you can spot him without issue if he's nearby.

You do come across him, eyes meeting his back while you watch as he whispers something in another girl's ear. There's an ache in your chest as you watch how she laughs about what he's saying like he's so funny. Well, stupid of you to think he would be waiting for you. You sigh, maybe this is a sign that you should just call it a night and go home.

As if the universe hears what's going through your mind, Jeongin turns around like he could feel your gaze and your eyes meet for a split of a second before you turn to look anywhere else, just to find someone you know. Fuck, it's a girl from your church, her family is really close to yours, what's she doing here?

You spin on your heels, deciding to run to the restroom for now, it's your best option. She's known to be a snitch, if she sees you there's no way she's gonna keep quiet about it to your parents and after that your life is over.

Miraculously, you manage to find an empty bathroom, going in and locking the door. You watch yourself in the mirror, your red lipstick is still intact. You wet your hands, throwing drops of water at your face but not enough to mess your makeup.

You're fine, you're alright, you can just sneak out of this club and get home safely without anyone knowing. You nod, turning around to open the door. And when you get out, you're going to forget any strange ideas you had about-

“Jeongin?” You ask, seeing the man standing in front of the bathroom door. “What are you doing here?”

“This is a public restroom”, he jokes.

“Ah, yeah”, you nod, stepping aside so he can go in and you can walk away.

“I was kidding”, he explains, “I thought I saw you looking for me”, he smiles, crossing his arms in front of his chest while he leans on the door frame

“Was I?” You pretend. You had just decided that you wouldn't let these impulsive feelings control you so why is every fiber of your body telling you to just grab this man by the collar and kiss him.

“Should I come in?” He asks, ignoring your cynical retort. “If you tell me to go in, I'll understand that you're interested in going further in this little game but if you're still not interested, you can just tell me to leave”

You take a few deep breaths, thinking about what you really wanna do, just like Soyeon said.

“Fuck it”, you say, grabbing his hand and pulling him inside, locking the door after.

Jeongin watches you with that damn smirk on his face.

“I won't do anything I'm not comfortable with”, you inform him, making him chuckle as he takes a step closer to you.

“Wouldn't want it any other way”, he says, wrapping his arm around your waist and pressing your body against his. Jeongin leans closer slowly, taking his time enjoying how you lick on your lips anxiously and watch him with big eyes. Then he kisses you, his lips gently press against yours, so much more delicate than you thought he could be. His tongue brushes past your lips, going into your mouth and exploring every corner, dancing with yours as he shows you what to do. You kissed someone before but it was nothing like this, you never knew you could feel this hot with a kiss. Your belly feels like it's on fire, warmth spreading everywhere.

Jeongin's hands slide down to your thighs, brushing your skin slightly and making you shiver as his hands goes up, beneath your skirt.

“Is this okay?” He asks, squeezing your ass only covered by your panties and you feel dizzy, nodding frantically. Jeongin smiles, he's not usually so careful but he can guess that you're not very experienced, and the last thing he wants is for any partner to have a bad experience with him.

Jeongin lifts you up, carrying you to the sink and making you sit there, sliding his hands down to your legs to spread them open for him. Your skirt rides up and he can see your baby blue panties and the wet spot between your folds.

“Are you already this wet, baby?” He asks, sliding your underwear to the side as he brushes his fingers slightly in your entrance. Jeongin looks at you, looking for any hesitancy but you're looking at him with expectant eyes, waiting patiently for him to fingerfuck you. He inserts one finger inside you, “Who knew a good girl like you would let someone like me fuck her in the restroom of a club?” He teases, watching as you squirm in embarrassment but also how your walls flutter around his finger. “Hmm, do you enjoy hearing how much of a whore you are?” He thrusts in and out, feeling your pussy sucking his finger more and more as he degrades you, making him add one more.

“Don't say that”, you whine, grabbing him by the shoulders and digging your nails on his jacket, trying to contain the moans that try to escape your lips.

“Oh, but I think you like it”, Jeongin smirks, using his thumb to tease your clit while his other hand wanders beneath your crop top, grabbing one of your breasts, kneading and squeezing the flesh.

“Ah!” You whine, closing your eyes to the feeling. You never thought it would be so good to feel someone else's hands touching you like that, it makes you wonder why it took you so long to try.

As if Jeongin can hear your thoughts and want to torture you, he takes his fingers out of you, make you whimper to the loss of his touch.

“Shh, pretty girl. I'm going to make you feel good real soon”, he kisses you one more time before sliding his jacket down his arms, dropping it on the floor. He's wearing a tank top that looks painfully tight on his body, hugging every bit of his muscles and showing his toned arms.

You gasp when he takes the piece off, showing you his muscular chest, making you gulp and try to close your legs to rub them together to ease the tight knot growing on your lower stomach but being prevented by Jeongin's hips.

“Do you like what you see?” He asks, condescendingly. But contrary to his expectations, you nod frantically, probably not thinking straight anymore. Jeongin chuckles, leaning closer, biting on your earlobe. “After you come in my mouth I'm gonna show you something you're going to like even more”

Before you can ask questions, the man is getting on his knees in between your legs. He pulls your panties, sliding it down your legs, licking his lips to the sight of your glistening cunt. You can feel his hot breath reaching your sensitive spot, Jeongin kisses your inner thighs slowly, making you whine for him to do something, anything to help you feel any sort of relief.

Finally he dives in on your pussy, sticking his tongue between your wet folds and licking a huge strand until he reaches your clit. Jeongin sucks on the hardened bud, circling it with his tongue, digging his fingers on your hips as he pulls your pussy closer to his face, leading your legs over his shoulders. You taste delicious, sweet and wet, he feels like he could stay with his face between your legs forever. When he feels your hips bucking in against his mouth, he groans, eyes fixed on your pleasured drunk face.

Your hands fly to his head, pressing him against your cunt without even realizing, his nose poking on your clit just makes it worse and when he inserts two fingers in your hole at once, you feel your whole body shaking. Your toes curl and a loud moan escapes your lips as Jeongin slows down the movements on your sensitive spot, enjoying seeing you coming down from your high.

“How are you feeling?” He asks, standing up. You open your eyes to stare at him, his face glistening with your juices and you have the inexplicable urge to kiss him, so you grab Jeongin by the neck and crash your lips on his.

He groans in between your sloppy kiss, feeling his painfully hard cock throb even more while listening to your sweet sighs. He feels like he's about to explode when he feels your hand touching the buttons of his jeans, pulling away to look at what you're doing.

“I wanna touch you”, you explain, feeling your cheeks hot but too drunk in pleasure to even feel embarrassed.

“Oh, pretty”, he smirks, your hands freeing his cock in a simple move, making Jeongin bite on his bottom lip to hold on the moan about to come out when he feels your fingers grabbing on his cock.

“I don't know what to do”, you whine, looking at him with expectant eyes, he really wanna curse right now but he doesn't want you to think he's angry.

“Here”, he covers your hand with his, leading yours up and down his shaft. “Like this”, he closes his eyes, leaning on your shoulder and letting you work alone.

“Do you like it, Innie?” You ask, softly. Your movements on his cock makes him whimper, he hates being called that but why does it sound so sweet coming out of your mouth?

Jeongin lifts his head, looking at you. You have your bottom lip stuck between your lips, your eyes are glossy, your red lipstick is all smeared and your breathing is erratic.

“Fuck, you're hot”, he answers, making you giggle, putting more pressure on the caresses you're giving his length. “Can I fuck you, pretty girl?” He asks, making you halt your movements. His hands cup your face and he kisses you, smiling once he pulls away. “We don't have to”, he assures you, “you said you won't do anything you're not comfortable with and I agreed”

“I want to”, you say, feeling your face hot. “It's just that- I never did this before, so I don't know what to do”, you tell the truth. You're having mixed feelings about this whole thing, you really want to do this but you can't shake the thought that something bad is going to happen if you do something to displease your parents.

“We can go slowly, okay?” He asks, pulling you out of your deep overthinking. You nod, giving him the condom that you had stored in the pocket of your skirt. “Oh my, you're dirtier than I thought”, he chuckles, opening the packaging and putting on the protection.

He positions his cock in your entrance, checking once more with you if everything is okay.

“If it hurts too much, I'm going to stop”, he tells you and you nod, feeling him sliding inside you slowly. You gasp, the stretch is rougher than you thought and when he reaches a certain point it starts hurting too much. He stops when he sees the tears running down your face, making him frown in worry. “Are you okay?” He asks, you look at him and nod.

“It just hurts a bit but I can take it”, you assure him, seeing him smile. Jeongin leans closer to you, trying not to move his hips for the time being.

“You're so good, baby”, he praises you, kissing below your eyes, on your tears stained cheeks.

He kisses your lips, feeling you relaxing on his hold and that's when he moves, his cock going all the way in as you whimper in his mouth. “Does it hurt a lot?” He asks, but you shake your head.

“It's good now, I think I'm good”, you whisper, “can you move?” Jeongin nods, thrusting in and out slowly, letting you get used to his cock. Your moans make him believe that you're enjoying yourself. “Oh Innie, Innie, that's so good”, you mumble, feeling like you can see stars.

“Shit, y/n, fuck”, Jeongin groans, feeling his orgasm approaching. “I'm not going to last, baby, I'm gonna come”, he groans, leaning on your shoulder once more and biting on the soft skin, making you cry out.

“Me too, oh- oh”, you moan loudly feeling your release, the faltering thrusts of the man inside you and his low moans tell you he just came too.

You two stay silent for a whole minute, trying to process what just happened. You can't believe you just had sex in the restroom of a club and with Jeongin of all people, but even though you know no one other than Soyeon is going to be excited about that, you can't stop the big smile that grows in your lips.

Three knocks on the door make the both of you come back to reality, you jump from the sink, trying to fix yourself to look presentable outside and before you two can talk about what just happened Soyeon’s voice comes out.

“Y/N? Are you in there?” She sighs.

“Yeah”, you answer while you try to fix your lipstick that's all over your face.

“We have to hurry, a girl from your church saw me and it's just a question of time before she finds you too”, she tells you, making you look at Jeongin.

“I gotta go”, you inform, even though he hears what Soyeon just said.

“Yeah”, it's the only thing he says and that makes you disappointed. You shouldn't have expected much of someone who just fucked you in the restroom of a club but you thought you felt something different, guess you were wrong.

When you walk out of the restroom, Jeongin comes down from his gaze. Fuck, he can't believe he let you go just like that but he was too shocked about the things he felt a few minutes ago. Why did it feel so different this time?

You can't stop thinking about Jeongin, the way he held you that night is stuck into your mind and the way he kissed you made you want more but you can't have him not now and not ever. While you have been torturing yourself and overthinking, Jeongin kept living his life to the fullest like that night never happened, like you never happened.

“That Jeongin guy is so vulgar, I heard he’s got girls left and right, doing God knows what with him”, one of the girls of your church says. You feel your cheeks hot, you know exactly what they are doing with him because you were one of those girls.

“I don’t think we should be talking about that”, you murmur, biting on the insides of your cheek.

“Ah, you’re right”, she nods, smiling empathetically to you, “we shouldn’t talk about such worldly things”, the girl grabs your hand, looking around to the other people and smiling gently. “Shall we talk about the song we will be presenting on Sunday?”

You nod with the others, but you pay no attention to whatever she’s saying or anyone for that matter. Your thoughts traveling far to those ungodly sensations Jeongin caused you.

In your lunch break you don’t really want to be with your church friends, you know that at some point, something about sins is going to come up in the conversation and you’ll have to hear how you were a slut, even though they don’t know that they’re talking about you. So you go to the opposite side of heading to the bathroom, it’s not the most hygienic place to eat but at least you’ll be left alone.

That was your idea, until you feel someone grab you by the wrist and drag you to an empty room. You were ready to curse at the person when your back is pressed against the wall and you have the chance to look at the culprit’s face.

“Jeongin?” You ask confusedly, looking at his sharp eyes.

“The one and only”, he smirks, making you roll your eyes.

“What do you want?”

“Aw, baby”, he pouts, “why does it sound like you didn’t miss me?” He asks, taking a step closer to you — if that’s even possible, since you two are already glued.

“Because I didn’t”, you lie, avoiding his gaze, trying to push him away from you but getting your wrists held by his hands the moment they land on his chest. “And by the way, are you crazy? How can you just drag a girl to an empty place like this?”

“I’m sorry, are we still at that time where men and women can’t even be left alone to talk without being forced to marry?” He asks sarcastically, “we already did so much worse than just talk though”

“Just tell me what you want and leave me alone”, you huff, trying to control yourself. His body so close to yours does things to you, thoughts you don’t know if you’ll be able to control.

“Well, even if you didn’t miss me, I missed you”, he suddenly looks too serious, not a bit of sarcasm in his voice.

“Well, I heard that you’ve been out and about with some other girl”, you scoff, trying to hide your bitterness about the subject.

He sighs, biting on his bottom lip.

“What you heard is true, but I can’t stop thinking about that night, about you”, he confesses, making your heart melt for a moment. So he wasn’t as alright as you thought he would be and that gives you some peace of mind, to know that you weren’t just another notch in his belt. However, reality comes crashing in soon after, as you remember that you two could never be together.

“And what do you want me to do about it?” You ask, even though your sentence sounds hostile, you really want an answer.

“We can try and be a thing, I don’t know anything about couple’s shit but I can try if it’s with you”, he scratches the back of his neck, awkwardly and that confession would sound a bit cute if you didn’t know better.

“Jeongin, we can’t be together”, you clear things out, feeling a sudden pain in your chest.

“Why not?” He looks at you like you’re saying something unbelievable and that makes you chuckle.

“Because, we come from two different worlds. You wouldn’t have ever looked at me if it wasn’t for that party”, you bite on your bottom lip. “It’s that girl you’re interested in, the bold and pretty girl who takes risky decisions”, you manage to push him away this time, he’s too shocked by what you’re saying to even try to prevent you. “You’re probably just enchanted with the idea of me and in a few days you’re going to get tired and even though for you I’ll be just another ex-girlfriend, for me… Unfortunately, I can’t recover after you”

You grab your bag that had fallen on the ground, continuing to speak.

“Until I get out of my parents' home, I have to follow their rules and they would never agree with me dating someone like you. My whole life will be a mess after you leave, but yours is going to be as normal as it was before you met me”, you smile sadly to him, waiting for a moment while he stares at you with a scowl in his face before you nod, turning around and leaving him behind.

You feel like throwing up. If he never came after you at least you could pretend that night never happened, that it was just as insignificant to you as it was to him. Why did he have to come after you and make things so complicated? That makes everything so much worse, it’s so much more painful to think about what you two could have been.

You try distracting yourself with your classes and the church choir, trying to get more tasks so you won’t be able to think about Jeongin. You need to stop thinking about him. There’s a point where you even think you might be going crazy, when you see someone just like him at your church on Sunday but there’s no way he’s there, Jeongin would never step foot in a place like that and you’re sure the other people that attend wouldn’t like him there either.

You help get the lunch ready at home, your parents are acting strange and treating you so nicely that you think one of them might be dying and they are trying to sooth you before telling the truth. That’s when you hear the sound of the doorbell, frowning, you didn’t know you were expecting visits.

“Can you get the door, honey?” Your mother asks and you nod, walking to the entrance and opening the door just to find someone who looks exactly like Jeongin, but there’s no way that’s him.

“Good afternoon, y/n”, he greets you, what happened to him? He’s wearing khaki pants and a light blue sweater over a white dress shirt. His hair is styled slipped to the side, not a strand out of place. You close the door fast, in panic.

“What are you doing here?” You ask, holding the knob of the door so your parents won’t open it before he goes away.

“I was invited”, he says nonchalantly, like it’s something he’s used to doing.

“Aren’t you going to invite our guest to come in?” You hear your father’s voice, looking at Jeongin like he’s an alien. He smiles at you, tilting his head while you open the door, suspiciously.

Your parents greet him with a big smile, something you never thought you’d see them doing towards Jeongin.

“Did you have trouble finding the house?” Your mother asks, as she puts some rice on a plate for him.

“Not at all”, he answers politely, “you have a beautiful home”, he smiles charmingly, making the older woman giggle.

“I’m sorry, but can you explain how you know each other?” You ask, confused with their interaction.

“Honey, Jeongin found us at the church earlier and we have never been more proud of you”, she smiles as your father nods.

“Proud of what?” You feel your head spinning, the only thing Jeongin could have told them was about the night you spent together and you’d probably be homeless right now if your parents ever found out about that.

“Now now, don’t be so modest my dear”, your mother smiles. “Jeongin told us how you have been unstoppable about your mission on bringing his soul back to our lord”

You blink once, twice…

“I did what?” You ask, frowning, Jeongin’s hand sneaks right to your thigh, squeezing the flesh, almost making you squeal.

“He told us everything”, you father stops eating, “how you searched for him while he was lost and guided his soul back to our God’s path”

“I told your parents how I became a new man because of you, y/n”, Jeongin says, smiling kindly to your family, “and I asked them if it would be okay if we got to know each other with the intention of marriage in the future”, he says like its nothing, making you choke on the air you just breath.

“Marriage?” You almost yell.

“Only after I’m done with all my studies and when your parents consider me a man worthy of you, of course”, he looks so genuine, you would surely believe him if you didn’t see the corner of his lips slightly upturned.

“And of course we agreed”, your mother says, “someone who got lost once has more chances to get lost again, so who better than you to be by his side, helping him get through the worldly desires without deviating from the right path?”

You nod, not really understanding what's happening but going with the flow.

“May I take y/n for a walk after we eat?” He asks your parents, they look at each other and nod, telling him to go ahead.

The rest of the lunch is unbelievable, Jeongin even quotes the bible, making your family impressed. After everyone eats, he helps your mom collect the dishes and after a few minutes he comes back from the kitchen, smiling kindly at you and offering his hand to you so you can hold and get up. You walk together for a couple of minutes, you’re still too into your own head to ask him anything, everything about this whole situation doesn’t seem real.

“You are insane”, is the only thing you say when you see his car at the end of the road, you look at him just to find his piercing eyes watching you.

“I’m just someone very determined”, he shrugs.

“So what now, you’re going to pretend to be a good boy forever?” You walk straight to his car without even realizing it.

“Not forever, just until you get out of your parents house”, you spin on your heels, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

“Why are you doing this?” You ask, confused. “You could have anyone you wanted”

“Not you”, he tells you, simply. “And I want you”, he takes a step closer and when you step back, you feel your back press on the door of his car, making him grin, walking even closer to you and pressing his body against yours.

You don’t want to reject him, you never wanted to in the first place and to think that he managed to find a way so you two can be together, it makes you flustered.

“I want you too”, you murmur, feeling your cheeks grow hot.

Jeongin smiles, leaning in to kiss you but stopping before his lips could touch yours, sliding his hand behind your back to pull the handle of the door.

“That’s good, ‘cause you have no idea about how much I’ve been wanting to taste you since I saw you this morning at the mass”, he wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you close enough to be able to swing the door open, pushing you inside of the back seat of his car.

You’re wearing the long dress you always use to go to the church and it makes Jeongin even crazier to see you dressed like this than it did when you wore those tiny little pieces at the club. This way no one else can see you the way he does, everything about you is for him to see, you're all his.

“Innie, we shouldn't do this here”, you whimper when he rides your skirt up, revealing the wet spot in your panties.

“That's not what your pussy is telling me”, he chuckles, pulling the piece of fabric aside and brushing his fingers between your folds. “Fuck, you're soaked”, he groans, leaning down to lick your clit, making your hips thrust involuntarily to feel his mouth in your needy hole.

Jeongin digs his fingers on your hips, preventing you from moving while he licks and sucks on your core. The wetness of your cunt is too much for him, it's overwhelming and your smell makes him go crazy.

“Can't we go to your house?” You whimper, looking around, trying hard to keep your eyes open even though your body is forcing you to close them to enjoy the pleasure.

“Nope, I promised your parents I would have you back home in thirty minutes, we are running out of time”, he raises his brow to you, daring you to protest more but you just give in, enjoying his hot tongue on your cunt and letting yourself come on his mouth.

On the way back to your home, Jeongin promises to keep appearances for your parents but he tells you that what he wants more than anything is to take you out of the righteous path. He says that with that damn smirk on his lips and you're sure he's gonna succeed.

A/N: if you enjoy my work, don't forget to give me some feedback. Reblogs and comments are much appreciated and are the things that keep me motivated to write. You can also buy me a coffee ☕

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l3monlem0n · 2 months

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Some Murder Drones Episode 7 screenshots I thought were interesting and my thoughts on them :>

SPOILER WARNING!!!! is spoilering

Nori, despite being a middle aged woman with a child, appears to be an Otaku or otherwise likes "edgy" and "scene" stuff, as well as listening to nightcore, very much like her daughter. Good for her tbh you're never too old to have fun

She also has a photo of Khan and what I can only assume is baby Uzi, though it appears to have blue eyes, but maybe it's just the lighting. Still very cute she has a pic of her husband

As well as all the previously mentioned Otaku stuff, she also drew herself as an anime character. She has a skinsona. Phenomenal (pos)

Nothing much here, just Uzi coughing up blood. Girl got the goop (gore) inside of her already

Lab Space. Apparently the Church was just down there and not even the humans know why. The canonicity of this is questionable; it could just be a joke

OT, as per google, stands for "Occupational Therapy". Makes sense for the context, and makes the bottom text funnier

"Fun Time To Universe Big Crunch: 87". The Big Crunch is a hypothetical way the Universe could end, where the universe folds on itself and shrinks into a single point. 87 "what" I don't know. If it's months, that 7 years and 3 months

Honestly the Murder Drones lore is super confusing. I think what this is trying to say is that every other Zombie Drone is doing poorly, (Except for Yeva), they are trying to reactivate 002 (Nori) via the USB. I'm not sure what this means. Maybe they only got the results they wanted from the two of them, and are trying again with Nori since she was the only other one that worked (also why they got Yeva when she failed; this may all be referring to how the episode opened up) Also, the date says SER. As revealed in the episode Cabin Fever, Copper-9 has months that Earth does not. SER most likely stands for Seramorris, the month revealed in that episode

Looks like the "bad event" wasn't the first one. Certainly was the last one though lol

Just a good pic of ghost/hologram V with the scary stuff. Might use this as a wallpaper

You can literally see the hole in his neck where N bit him in...

...And it's to the point his HEAD FALLS OFF. (including because I didn't notice the first time around)

Yup, the idea that Uzi became the Admin for N and V is completely true. I wonder what would've happened if she didn't, since Cyn didn't react whatsoever

friggin bug (very pos)

You would not believe how difficult it was to get a good pic of this (I'm using snipping tool lmao). Always a pleasure to see Uzi's doodles. Things her gun can do (upper right):

NOT judge her

Forced prom date (?)

Allows her to say she had friends before she frickin murdered them with sci-fi machinery

The cut off text at the bottom: Plan B: Normal gun + Shoot really fast

This is while Tessa is looking for something in the lockers. Claws, chains, magnets, Wings, and scribbled "HELP". Looks like the lockers were all specifically to hold the infected worker drones. Oof

We are in the future now baby. We have rererererereCAPTCHA. Funnily enough, it still couldn't stop a robot

There is a message board where someone who doesn't like robots is talking. They also are scared. Also no one else is using this system, which is unsurprising. "Ur aight ;)" Wait is the winky face intentional foreshadowing? Or unintentional?

We get the names of a bunch of other Worker Drones. Unfortunately for all 029 fans, her name was not visible. (also can someone tell me what "JWEB" could be short for?) And Yeva is said to have a patch. That may be the crucible thing idk

Cyn (which I will be calling this version Skyn [Skin + Cyn]) apparently took of the space suit just to give Doll the Withered Foxy jumpscare. Honestly really terrifying. If this photo was teased before release I think the fandom would've exploded

Just N being a good boy :3

The MDs, Cyn's pets. Nori refers to them as "Nerfed" so the "Entity" can ensure control, and says they were made to destroy other hosts. I don't know why Cyn would want them dead, but I'm not the loremaster here. YouTube line is there because I couldn't be bothered after the Railgun image

Probably already confirmed, but doubly confirmed that a symptom of the Solver is giving Drones organic insides. A Worker Drone body with a rib cage and guts. I wonder what would happen if the infection continued uninterrupted (also R.I.P. Doll I loved you :frown:)

I'm sure everyone noticed, but when Uzi tried to manipulate Tessa, the ERROR noticed appeared. Already hinting Tessa is not all she says she is

Apparently the Solver can create Black Hole Saws. Interesting development (Blackhole Blitz)

I know most people (I think) see this as a joke and N just being a bit of goofball. But honestly, I think he did it intentionally to shock Cynuzi and give Nori a chance. In the Pilot, he licked V's sword to surprise her too, which means he isn't unfamiliar with doing something weird and surprising for the advantage

Skyn eating Doll's core. R.I.P. Doll again. Seriously, was that Doll in Core Form like Nori was? Or was Nori a fringe case because she was "Exorcised" and this is just a regular core? Questions, questions. Also yeah the Solver also gives you a Core. Fun

This tag makes me think that this body is Cyn's actual body. Not longer a hologram, but her actual body from the mansion. The reason Tessa gave N, J, and V their names was because that was the first letter of their Serial Designation (she's very uncreative). However, Cyn's tag was slightly faded, which meant her SD couldn't be seen, so Tessa gave her the name "Cyn" after her P/N, even though the other 3 already have the same P/N as Cyn (Tessa, again, is very uncreative)...

...and for some reason, Cyn or the Solver, which ever theory you subscribe to, decided to wear Tessa as a skin suit for some twisted reason. It did help her with the Captcha. Also scary because this doesn't have the right proportions for an adult (unless Cyn really forced that skin on), which leads me to believe that this is a Younger Tessa, and she faked having an older voice. Maybe I shouldn't call her my wife... I'm sure Eldritch J is still available :^)

(Seriously, the eyes are burnt out, leaving two eye holes over the visor, so she gives herself two X eyes so it looks better. Also yeah we found out what that thing on the "It Came From Copper-9" poster came from. It really was Cyn or Skyn)

Just a frame of the final...frame... for coolness. I'm probably also going to use this for a background. Also, this is definitely Copper-9. You can see the ring and ringless moon together on the right. Uzi somehow got sent to orbit after falling in the meat hole

Well that was all for now. This series has consumed me entirely, body and soul, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Goodbye and goodnight

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blitany · 1 year

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moments between Ellie and Joel that have physically grabbed my heart and squeezed it

Ellie parenting Joel the way Sarah parented him (”I’m taking a shower. And then you’re taking a shower.”)

“I’m not family?” and the shred of hope in her voice as she asks because Ellie’s never belonged to anyone, with anyone (not the way Riley did, not with a family), and she wants to so badly

“Look at me. They’re not going to hit you” and “Do you trust me?”

Joel being absolutely terrible at trying to talk to Ellie after the ambush but he’s trying to because she saved him and he’s both impressed that she did and feeling awful that she had to. it’s his fault, his job is to protect her. but she protects him without thinking twice. she’s still trying to prove herself to him, from the way she shoots Bryan to the way she hides her tears because she doesn’t want Joel to think she’s weak. and he doesn’t know how to tell her she shouldn’t have to be strong.

the implicit non-verbal communication and trust between them when she’s on the ground and he’s up in the church

when Joel goes to hug Tommy and Ellie watches on with this look of hurt and longing on her face - maybe because she wants that kind of care from Joel so bad, maybe because she thought he just wasn’t an affectionate person but now she sees he’s just not affectionate with her, maybe because she’s realizing that Joel is family to her but he already has a family and no matter how much she cares about him he’s never going to need her in the same way never going to view her in the same way because he already has what she never did

Ellie defending Joel to Maria because how dare this stranger judge her father figure? she knows all she needs to know about him, she’s certain that they understand each other in a way that nobody else does.

“i’ve lost somethin” and the first time i heard this i thought he meant Sarah but no he meant Ellie, he’s afraid of losing Ellie because she means something to him now, she’s not just cargo, but he’s too scared to say it out loud

when there’s a knock at her bedroom door at dawn and Ellie says “come in” so softly and hopefully because she thinks it’s Joel and she’s ready to apologize as long as it means they can stay together. then it opens and it’s Tommy and her whole body language shifts into this

Joel’s little barely-repressed smile when Ellie throws her bag at him and says “let’s go” because she’s choosing him, because she’s still choosing him even after what he said to her

the way Ellie leans against him and rests her head on his back while they ride and he just lets her

Joel telling Ellie he wanted to be a singer when he was a kid because he’s finally opening up to her and trusting her and he wants her to know him

the desperate, pained crack in Ellie’s voice as she cries “jOeL” in the snow, her hand touching his face, begging him not to leave her

the look in Joel’s eyes as he watches Ellie go, thinking she’s leaving him, trying not to cry in front of her

and the astonishment and happiness when she comes back to save him, the way he can’t thank her for doing so because he knows it’d be better if she left but he’s just so glad she’s staying and how she looks at him for courage before she starts stitching him up and he grips her hand so tight and i love them so much

#the last of us #tlou #the last of us hbo #tlou hbo #spoilers #joel and ellie #look the found father daughter trope is something that is so important to me #their dynamic is so me and bn #right down to the 'he's killed people' 'i know'

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onlycosmere · 1 year

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OUTSIDE by Brandon Sanderson

Snow is falling. So I look up.

The world mystifies when you stare up through falling snow. Even standing still, you can soar. Even alone, you are surrounded. Even mundane, you find magic. I’ve spent my life chasing the fantastical, yet everything I’ve ever imagined can be casually matched by someone tilting their head up. The soft. Settling. Aspiration.

Of snow on an otherwise ordinary day.

When I was eighteen, I moved from Nebraska to Utah. Here, snow is fleeting, embarrassed to be an obstruction. But in Nebraska, snow squats. It claims land, builds empires. You fight it all winter, carving pathways, reconquering your sidewalks. The cold digs inside, frosting your bones with a chill that lingers, even after you return to warmth.

I often think of those snowy days, now that I live in a desert. But each year my memories are a little less fresh. We build our lives with layer upon layers of years, like falling snow. And like the new snow, most experiences melt away. In interviews, I’ve been asked to recount my most frightening experience. I struggle to answer because it’s the lost memories that scare me—the unnerving knowledge that I’ve forgotten the majority of moments that made me who I am. Those dribbled away when I wasn’t looking and joined the spring runoff of life.

Fortunately, some experiences do remain. In one, I’m fourteen, and it’s a cold night in Nebraska. My best friend at the time was a boy we’ll call John. Though we went to different schools, he was one of the only other Mormon kids around, so our parents often had us play together. When you’re very young, it’s proximity—not shared interests—that makes friends. This often changes as you age. By fourteen, John had found his way to basketball, parties, and popularity. I had not.

On that day, after a youth activity, another friend suggested we leave to go have some fun. I don’t remember where. Strange, that I’ve lost what this was about, though the rest of the scene is etched into the glacial part of my brain. One of us was old enough to drive, so we headed out to their car.

Five seats. Six teens. They’d already counted.

Without a word to me, the others climbed in. John gave me one hesitant look, then settled into the front passenger seat and closed the door. They left me on the curb. The car vanished, taillights flaring in the night like lit cigarettes.

The memory settled in for the long winter. That night. Watching. Remembering John’s face, which was so strikingly conflicted. Half ashamed. Half resigned.

I was no stranger to being outside. It happens when you’re one of three Mormon kids in a large school. You’ll be at a birthday party, and the wine coolers will come out. Everyone stands there worrying you’ll judge them—while you just want them to stop staring. But you leave anyway, because you know they’ll enjoy themselves more if you and your unusual morals aren’t there to loom.

It should have been different that night though, watching John and the others drive away. They were in my church group—ostensibly, my tribe. They’d still left me outside.

This event shocked me in how dramatic it was, as I wasn’t generally bullied. I tended to be adept at social settings. People generally liked me. At the same time, there was something I’d begun to notice. Something distancing about me.

It happens still. It isn’t that people shun me or don’t want me around; indeed, they seem to appreciate me. When I join a group, I generally end up leading it in some way, and I never sense resentment to this fact. But I also have an air around me. Some writer friends call me the “adult in the room.” I tend to attack projects too aggressively, tend to be the one who steps in and gets things done—even when they don’t need to be done immediately, and when everyone else would rather relax.

This comes, in part, from a certain…oddity about me that started in my young teens, around the time that John drove off. As my friends grew hit puberty, they became more emotional. The opposite happened to me. Instead of experiencing the wild mood swings of adolescence, my emotions calcified. I started waking up each day feeling roughly the same as the day before. Without variation.

Around me, people felt passion, and agony, and hatred, and ecstasy. They loved, and hated, and argued, and screamed, and kissed, and seemed to explode every day with a pressurized confetti of unsettling emotions.

While I was just me. Not euphoric, not miserable. Just…normal. All the time.

Often, it genuinely seems like I exist outside of human experience. It’s not sociopathy. I’m quite empathetic—in fact, empathy is one of the ways that I can feel stronger emotions. I’m not autistic. I don’t have a single hallmark of that notable brand of neurodivergence. It’s also not what is called alexithymia, which is a condition where someone doesn’t feel emotions (or can’t describe them).

I care about people, and I feel. I’m not empty or apathetic. My emotions are simply muted and hover in a narrow band. If human experience ranges between a morose one and an ecstatic ten, I’m almost always a seven. Every day. All day. My emotional “needle” tends to be very hard to budge—and when it does move, the change is not aggressive. When others would be livid or weeping, I feel a sense of discomfort and disquiet.

My emotions do go a little further than this on occasion, maybe once a year. It takes something incredible—such as being deeply betrayed by someone I trusted.

I’m not looking for sympathy; I don’t want to be fixed. I appreciate this aspect of my makeup—and it’s part of what makes me so consistent at writing. When everyone else is in crisis, I’ll just steam along. At the same time, when everyone else is elated by some good news…I’ll just steam along, unable to feel the heights of the joy they feel.

It makes people uncomfortable sometimes. Makes them think I’m judging them. While I’m absolutely not, I do try to be careful how I talk about my condition. Not as something to fear. Something, instead, I’m proud of—not because it makes me better than anyone else, but because it’s me. I like being me.

My neurodivergence came up in a recent interview I did. The interviewer latched onto the fact that I don’t feel pain like others do. (More accurately, some mild pains don’t cause in me the same response they do others.) I asked the interviewer not to mention it in his article, as I felt the tone to our discussion was wrong. I worry about my oddity changing the way people think of me, as I don’t want to be seen as an emotionless zombie. So I try to speak of it with nuance.

As the interviewer ignored my request, I thought I’d talk about it here. Profile myself for you—because this aspect of who I am has deep ties to another happening from my teenage years. In this, I want to answer a big question for you, the one everyone wonders about. The key to understanding Brandon Sanderson.

Why do I write?

Why do I write so much?

Why do I write so much fantasy?

Let me tell you about the first day, that beautiful day, when I found myself inside.

It was when I opened a fantasy novel. I was an isolated kid whose emotions were doing something bizarre. Even John leaving had left me feeling…disturbed more than angry. Alone, and outside. Then I opened a book where I found emotion.

In that story about dragons, and wonder, and people trying impossible things, I found myself. I felt a variety of powerful emotions through the characters—emotions that I remembered from when I’d been younger.

I hadn’t tried reading fiction in a long while, so I was blindsided by this perfect book. The experience transformed me, quick as a boy tilting his head back, looking up, and finding a new world.

When I read or write from the eyes of other people, I legitimately feel what they do. There’s magic to any kind of story, yes—but for me, it is transformative. I live those lives. For a brief time, I remember exactly what passion, and agony, and hatred, and ecstasy feel like. My emotions mold to the story, and I cry sometimes. I legitimately cry. I haven’t done that outside of a story in three decades.

Stories bring me inside.

My second published novel is called Mistborn. It’s about a world where ash falls like snow, and I can linger, looking up through it via a character’s eyes. Near the beginning of Mistborn, the teenage protagonist finds herself standing outside a room. It is full of light and laughter and warmth. But she knows, she knows she doesn’t belong inside that room.

She’s wrong.

Nearer the end of the book, I linger on as similar scene—only now, she’s sitting with the others. Light and laughter. Warmth. Mistborn was the first novel I wrote after getting the call offering me a book deal. Finally—after slaving over a dozen unpublished manuscripts—I knew I was going to be a professional writer. With that knowledge, I wrote Mistborn, the book about a girl who learns to come inside.

While writing Mistborn, I changed. Now that I’d made it inside of publishing—now that I’d joined those authors I’d loved for so long—why would I keep writing? I needed a new goal, and I discovered it that year.

So let me tell you why I write. It isn’t about worldbuilding; that’s a mistake everyone makes about me. Assuming I write because of worldbuilding is like assuming someone makes cars because they love cup holders. It’s also not because I’m Mormon, as some profiles bizarrely conclude. My faith and cultural heritage are both important to me, but if I were any other religion, that aspect of me would rightly be a footnote—not a headline.

I don’t write for plot twists, or dragons, or clever turns of phrase—though I enjoy all of these. I write because stories bring people inside. And I sincerely, genuinely believe that is what the world needs.

Lately, I’ve seen a resurgence of something that genuinely disquiets me: an attempt by some members of our community to hold others outside. Science fiction and fantasy is forever gatekeeping what constitutes good or worthy stories. Like my old friend John, who sought cooler friends, we renounce anything accessible—part of our perpetual (and largely fruitless) plea for legitimacy with the literary establishment.

Thing is, I can’t really get mad when someone does this, because I’ve done it myself in the past. The unfortunate truth is that we all probably have at times. The moment a group finds cohesion—discovering the warmth and peace of being inside—we decide there aren’t enough seats, so we start muscling and pushing. Readers who came in because of the latest popular teen novel? Outside. Fans of the film version of a story, instead of the book version? Outside. People who don’t look the same as the supposedly conventional fan? I suspect they know this struggle far better than I do.

To use a thematic metaphor, it’s like we’re dragons on our hoard of gold, jealously keeping watch, worrying that if anyone new enters, their presence will somehow dilute our enjoyment. The irony is that there is infinite space inside, and if we open the way, we’ll find many of these newcomers are the very treasure we’re seeking.

Fantasy, out of all genres, should embrace the different, even if it doesn’t match our specific taste. This is the genre where anything can happen—and should, therefore, be the most open genre. Only fantasy offers me the full range of emotion. The wonder of exploration. The magnificent highs of epic scope and the miserable lows of cataclysmic terror. In writing it, I can learn. Monomaniacal, I hunt experiences of people different from myself, then explore them in prose until I feel—in some small part—what they do.

This is why I write. To understand. To make people feel seen. I type away, hoping some lonely reader out there, left on a curb, will pick up one of my books. And in so doing learn that even if there is no place for them elsewhere, I will make one for them between these pages.

Those who interview me seem to have trouble understanding this fundamental part of who I am: that writing for me isn’t so much about performance as it is about exploration and elevation. I love prose both literary and commercial. And I think I write great prose. I’ve slaved over my style, practicing for decades, honing it for crisp clarity. My prose is usually intended to convey ideas, theme, and character, then get out of the way—because this is how I strive to bring everyone inside.

That said, I know my goal is impossible. Occasional strolls through the outside are part of being human, and I can’t eliminate that. And even I have to admit that there are lessons to be learned on those lonely paths. For example, contrast is the only way to appraise growth. Emotional alien I may be, but that very alienation has motivated me to understand. I value the connections I’ve made so much more for that struggle.

Moreover, I find that occasionally looking in through a window at everyone else gives a person a more complete perspective. Inside, things can get messy, and a streak of color finds it hard to comprehend the painting. I’m a better writer because of my time spent looking in. I don’t know that I could have written Mistborn if I hadn’t been left on that curb.

This isn’t to discount the pain of those who have been forced outside. Nor is it an advocacy for extended periods spent in the cold. I also don’t know if I could have written Mistborn if the wonderful people of the science fiction and fantasy community (including many of the friends I now work with) hadn’t latched on to me in college and—at times—forcibly pulled me inside to be with them. Beyond that, as I’ve grown older, I’ve found people like Emily, who love me in spite of (and partially because of) my quirks. Blessedly, because of this, my times outside have been increasingly brief.

My goal here is merely to point out (as I’ve had occasion to remember recently) that beautiful moments do accompany the isolation. You can only watch the snow fall when you’re outside. Only then can you look up and experience that mystifying world, where fragments of the sky drift past and lift you toward the heavens.

I’m forty-seven now, enjoying desert snowfalls in early April. The man I am is separated by distance and time from that boy who stood on the curb, and I’ve forgotten most of the steps that led between the two. I still don’t feel strong emotions outside of stories—but I did tell an interviewer lately that I sometimes cry when writing scenes in my books. They just aren’t the scenes that I thought he’d expect.

I don’t necessarily cry when characters die, or when they marry, or even when they find victory. I cry when it works. When it all comes together, and in a beautiful shimmering burst of humanity, I feel what it is to be that character. At those times, I remember what I learned twenty years ago writing Mistborn. That there’s a reason I do this. And even if I’ve lost more memories than I retain, each of them had a point, because they collectively brought me here.

So when you find yourself in the cold, know that sometimes, there’s a purpose to it. Trust me; I’ve been there. I might be there right now. Feeling the cold on my cheeks—but these days, no longer in my bones. Knowing that this will pass, and that it might be for my good. Most of all, looking up so I can appreciate it. The still. Solemn. Perspective.

Of one who stands outside.

#brandon sanderson #cosmere #cfsbf #root #branderson #wob #kind of #long post

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dee-morris · 6 months

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An Overdue Rant and a Christmas Fic

I wrote this Hallmark AU last December. It was supposed to be a jokey little one-shot, but man it ate my brain. My average daily word count is 500-1k words a day, and I think I was doing 2k to 5k a day until it was done. I couldn't fuckin stop, and it was glorious.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43616245/chapters/109670092

This is very important to me, because I came to fanfic like a dying traveler comes to an oasis. After the pandemic I became deeply depressed and I developed chronic writer's block. Marketing was an uphill slog, and not being able to go out and socialize at events made it unbearable. When I did go out, the anxiety I felt about COVID made it not fun. I wasn't sure if I was ever going to write again.

Writing fanfiction was a welcome reprieve from all that: no deadlines! No SEO! No depressingly tiny royalty statements! Positive reinforcement with no dollar signs attached! So it was nice, it was fun, but I didn't really get my groove back until I wrote HallMark. That wasn't just fun. That was drive. That was passion. And it was glorious.

After it was done and posted, I couldn't forget about it. I had to know what it was about that story that grabbed me by the brain cells like that. So I went back and read it again, and I read the comments (thank you all kind people you're the best), and I realized that it was about Aziraphale and Crowley, but it was really about my feelings towards how children are raised.

*I'm not going to completely spoil the fic here, but feel free to go read it before we get further bc I'm about to discuss some thematic elements.*

Crowley is raising the Antichrist to be the destroyer of worlds on the surface, but underneath it he cares about the world, and he cares about Adam too. And that is the side of him that Adam responds to, and why he turns out the way he does. And that's what parents don't understand about children. They are only kind of listening to your words. What they respond to, and what nurtures them, is your behavior towards them and towards the world you're raising them in. If you tell your kid that Jesus loves everyone and we should help the poor, but you vote for people who will cut welfare bc you think you'll get a tax break and a new boat, your kid sees you. If you tell your kid that it's a sin to judge others but you glare at a tall woman going into the ladies room bc you think she might be trans, your kid sees you. They might grow up to be an asshole or they might grow up to think that you're one, but either way you lose.

And if you tell your kid that his destiny is to destroy the world and that living things are fit only to be ground under his heels, but you make him sandwiches and worry about him when he's out of your sight and buy him stupid Christmas crap because it makes him happy, your kid might not turn out as evil as you thought.

(don't actually tell your kid he's the Antichrist, btw, this fic is hyperbole for symbolic thematic purposes and not a parenting guide)

Anyway, my point is if you love your kid and treat him right, if you treat other people right, and give him a stable home and maybe a dog if you can afford it, he'll probably turn out pretty much okay. The rest is just flavor.

Parents stress too much about things that don't matter, but it's not our fault. You have to run the gauntlet a couple of times before you can filter out stuff that matters from stuff that doesn't, because the books and guides and parenting classes will just try to scare you about everything. Let me assure you that your baby does not give two shits if you feed with breast or bottle. But your child will remember whether you were happy, and whether you took pleasure in their presence in your life.

So what sucked me in about this fic was the reversal of what I've seen in the real world. My brain conjured a fantasy of someone who's a good parent despite themselves, instead of a bad parent with a church habit and a fat bank account. Of course I had to bring that fantasy into the world. It's how things become real.

#fanfiction writer #fanfiction #good omens #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable parents #parenting #children #ao3

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pluckyredhead · 1 year

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"Barry is a character who was consciously designed to fit the zeitgeist of America and specifically the comics industry of the mid-1950s in the immediate aftermath of the Comics Code Authority (ask me about my theory on this!)" - here I am, asking (for real, I know next to nothing about Barry so I would be interested to hear more if you want to elaborate)

Yessss I would love to elaborate!

So apologies if this is stuff you already know, but the first Flash was Jay Garrick, who debuted in 1940, during what's called the Golden Age of Comics. There's no universal agreement on what the exact date range is for the Golden Age (or Silver, Bronze, etc.), but a range you'll often see is 1938 (the debut of Superman) to 1955.

However, with superhero comics, when we say Golden Age, we're really mostly talking about World War II, because after the war, superheroes became much less popular. At the time, monthly comics included lots of genres, like crime, horror, romance, humor, war, Westerns, sci-fi, etc., and crime and horror in particular became increasingly popular in the postwar years. Some of them also became increasingly violent, sexy, and edgy, in part to retain the audience of returning GIs from overseas, who had read comics to remind them of home during the war.

However, the primary audience for comics was children. Children who could easily buy a comic for a dime and read it without parental supervision. Children who could be turned into juvenile delinquents by reading comic books!

There was a massive backlash against comics in the late 40s and early 50s, led by parents and other "moral authorities" (teachers, librarians, churches) who thought comics were bad for kids. Most of you reading this will have seen similar parental backlash against whatever the target of the moment is: gangster movies, crooners, rock 'n' roll, rap, heavy metal, video games, Dungeons and Dragons, Harry Potter. (I'm not talking about JKR's wretched transphobia here but the fear in the late 90s that Harry Potter would turn kids into Satanists or whatever.)

There were boycotts. There were bonfires where all the kids in town would have to bring all their comics to be burned. There was Seduction of the Innocent, a book by psychologist Frederic Wertham where he claimed to have proven that comics turned kids into juvenile delinquents (he hadn't). Many people left the industry for good, and a lot of them later talked about those days with genuine trauma. I highly recommend the book The Ten-Cent Plague: The Great Comic Book Scare and How It Changed America for more on this, but it's fascinating, and necessary reading for those of y'all on this webbed site who think we need to bring back the Hays Code and its ilk.

This all culminated in Senate hearings in 1954 to determine whether comics were harmful to children. (Fun fact: these hearings began on the same day as the McCarthy hearings. Political repression and artistic repression always go hand in hand.) In the aftermath of these hearings, the comic book industry created the Comics Code Authority, because that way they could self-regulate instead of being regulated by the government.

The Comics Code was a list of what could and could not be in comics. It was mostly what you'd expect - no sex or violence - but also a lot of conservative 1950s censorship. Like: "Policemen, judges, government officials, and respected institutions shall never be presented in such a way as to create disrespect for established authority." That's...pretty totalitarian.

Comic book publishers would submit comics for approval to the CCA. If they passed, the comic would be published with a seal on the cover saying "Approved by the CCA." They didn't need the seal to publish, but if they didn't have the seal, most vendors wouldn't sell the comic. So most of them pretty much had to comply.

So what does this all have to do with Barry Allen?

As I said earlier, superheroes fell in popularity after WWII, and many books were canceled. Jay Garrick's last Golden Age appearance was in 1951, and he hung on longer than most. But after the CCA, the landscape of comics had changed, and DC decided to see if they couldn't make the superhero work in this brave new world.

So in 1956 they took the idea of the Flash - guy who runs fast - and changed everything else about him. The new Flash was named Barry Allen, and he was a police scientist with a snazzy new costume. He was an immediate hit, DC went on to revamp a number of other characters in similar fashion, and a new era was born. Literally: many scholars date the start of the Silver Age of Comics to Barry's debut.

It's worth noting, I think, that DC was staunchly behind the creation of the CCA. Their stock in trade was superheroes, who were mostly considered harmless. But the backlash against comics and the creation of the CCA seriously harmed a lot of their competitors, and eventually put the ultra-popular EC Comics, who specialized in horror and crime, out of business.

I'm not saying DC had Barry in mind already when they supported the formation of the CCA. But they saw that the field had been cleared and there was an opportunity to bring their main genre back to the forefront. And then they created a squeaky clean, incredibly white guy from the Midwest. Who is a scientist, because 1950s kids need to be inspired to go into science so that we can beat those Ruskies to the moon! But who is also a cop, because kids need to respect law and order, or else. (This was also an era in which former vigilantes Superman and Batman were officially deputized by their respective local police forces.)

None of this means that Barry is a bad character, or that his Silver Age comics aren't good, because they are actually extremely innovative and very fun. But it does mean that he was created as essentially copaganda for children during an era of intense political conservatism in the US and deep fear in the comic book industry. He worked well in the 50s and 60s (DC in the 60s was basically still living in the 50s, which is why everyone older than 10 switched to Marvel) but increasingly less well as the world around him changed, and DC's attempts to modernize him in the 70s and early 80s (killing off Iris so that he could be a swingin' bachelor living in...wait for it...an apartment building!!!) were just kind of embarrassing. Barry's death in Crisis on Infinite Earths is the most noble death I've ever read in comics, but it was also a mercy killing.

I think Barry could be updated for the 21st century in a way that is true to his roots but doesn't make him feel like a relic or a jerk. But so far, DC hasn't really bothered? Instead we get moments like Barry declaring that Hal is the only JLAer who really gets him because "we're both cops" or arresting a Black 12-year-old for graffiti-ing an already destroyed building. Oof, friends. Oof.

In conclusion, Barry was designed for major cultural and industry-wide changes of the mid-1950s but that was 70 years ago and the man desperately needs a makeover that is not putting on his nephew's personality like an ill-fitting suit and saying "How do you do, fellow kids?" The end.

#barry allen #flash

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monsterfuxkermarya · 3 months

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I am, unfortunately, a Christian woman.

And I, unfortunately, am a lot like the type o-negative song, simply titled “Christian woman”. I will never be like the nuns at my church or the dedicated mother doting on her children, either.

I give into temptation. I lust and give into the sins of the flesh. I beg to serve and be served sexually. I want to be on my back or knees.

But, Christ, oh Corpus Christi. The purest lamb, son of god and carpenter.

I bow my head in shame when I see someone pray. I wonder what it’s like not to struggle with your religion. I sob violently when I pray, ashamed of who I’ve become. I know the child I used to be is wondering where I went wrong, why I no longer try to believe. I cry for her when I pray.

I am, unfortunately, a Christian woman. And I’ve failed to meet so many expectations put upon me.

I curse like a sailor. I steal alcohol occasionally. I’ve gotten high. I masturbate at least three times a week. I skip church. I refuse to kiss and venerate the cross or priest, not out of disrespect, but shame and loss of belief. I don’t venerate the icon and I refuse to go to confession. I can’t look at an icon without my eyes welling up with tears in shame. When I was forced to go to church I was told I had to take communion, even if i hadn’t prepared or fasted. I felt so ashamed that I took your body and blood, knowing I had in no way prepared for it.

I was once the lamb covered in mud because time and time again I ran away from the herd and got stuck in a bush of thorns. My once beautiful coat is muddied. My skin is bruised and cut. My soul is tainted.

I can only hope that my sins will be washed away at the pearly gates. My coat will sparkle a fresh white, my bruises and cuts gone, my soul pure.

Because as I am no lamb anymore. I am the goat. The devils creature. My eyes have turned into slits because I judge people. I have grown horns to defend myself. My coat is so matted it becomes thin and bristly. My tail is jagged and torn.

I am, unfortunately, a Christian woman. And I, unfortunately, pray for forgiveness every Sunday night. The same night I usually find my fingers knuckle deep in my virgin sex.

I beg to be saved, to be cleansed by the holiest of holy water. I grip my prayer rope tightly and beg for this round of Our Father’s to be the one I stick to. I weep every time I go to confession, so ashamed of the sins I’ve committed.

I am, unfortunately, a Christian woman. But Jesus would still wash my feet, right?

I still have a favorite set of Bible verses I say to myself when I’m scared. The small child in me repeats them when the sky lights up with thunder and lightning in the dead of night. Joshua 1:9 and Ephesians 2:8-10 repeat every time I have to do something I’m scared to do.

I am, unfortunately, a Christian woman. I feel weak when I can’t continue my fasts because I get light headed and nauseous on my period.

I feel so unclean and ashamed of my period, even though it is a miracle and a blessing to be so healthy. I cry when my cramps hit, not only because of pain, but shame, knowing our savior went through so much more to save us. I writhe in pain for hours, hoping my suffering will make up for my sins.

My suffering will never make up for my sins. It will never make up for the people I’ve hurt and driven away. It will never make up for all the times I pushed Lord Christ away.

My back aches. My head pounds. My throat is dry and my eyes strain. My feet are sore. I know that if I were to come back to the light, be the lamb once again, my pain and suffering would subside. I could once again bask in the healing light of the Lord. But I feel as if I’m too far gone. My body has contorted into that of a goat, devilish and angry. I must defend myself as I have no God to guide me anymore. I strayed too far from his light.

I am, unfortunately, a Christian woman. And I can barely look Father John in the eyes.

He’s been my priest since I was a kid, I love him dearly. But I can’t even fathom telling him these thoughts. Having a person I’ve known since I was a kid know my struggles. I’m scared he’d bash me for falling so far from the light.

I am, unfortunately, a Christian woman. I fear the day that lent starts. It’s marked on my calendar with a question mark. March 18, 2024: lent starts?

It’s not a question because I don’t know when it starts, I’ve been aware since the beginning of the year. It’s a question because Am I Gonna Participate This Year? Will I go to vespers, will I go to confession, will I read the gospels, will I attend the matins services, will I fast, will I? Will I?

I am, unfortunately, a Christian woman. And I know all my actions and words cast shame upon my family.

My dad’s side of the family is from Greece. My grandma, God rest her soul, was a devout Greek Orthodox Christian. I know the farther I fall from my faith the more shame I put upon her and all her family before her.

My mom converted to marry my dad in the Orthodox Church. I wonder if she struggled with her faith as much as I do.

I am, unfortunately, a Christian woman. And my church is unfortunately my second home.

And I am estranged from my second home.

It brings me so much guilt and pain to step into my church, but the second I smell the incense and the chanting hits my ears I know I am home. The incense is infused with rose, the chanting in soft Greek and Arabic. I used to be able to chant with them fluently as a kid. I used to ask my dad what certain geek words meant. He’d spend hours explaining it if he had the time back then.

Oh, and the theotokos, the bearer of god, mother of the savior. I was so infatuated with you. I’d draw your icon in my sketchbook. I’d talk to you like you were my own mom as I waited to confess alone. I can’t imagine the pain you went through when you saw your son get nailed to the cross.

I weep in front of your icon now. I look at you and oh holy Jesus the Christ and weep. I have fallen so far you look like tiny dots of light from where I lay in the darkness.

I used to walk around the church in circles, looking at each and every icon. The portraits of saints, the depictions of the holy gospels, the last supper, Christ raising from the dead, Lazarus raising from the dead. I used to ask Father John who a certain saint was if their icon was really unique and look them up later.

I miss Lazarus Saturday and eating Lazarakia with my brother. I miss eating dolmas and plain rice as potluck instead of the usual feast because it was lent. I miss breaking the fast at three in the morning because that’s when the service finally ended when it started at 10:30 PM. I miss playing tsougrisma with my family. I miss screaming “Alithos anesti!” With the congregation. I miss trying to respond “indeed he has risen!” in as many languages as possible on Easter Sunday.

Because I am no longer a fortunate Christian woman. I am an unfortunate Christian woman.

And I long to go to church and not question the teachings.

And I long to make palm crosses with my mom and her friends.

And I long to read at the matins services and chant in the choir.

And I long to breathe in the incense and leave smelling like it.

And I long to be held in the warm and loving embrace of our Lord and savior Jesus the Christ.

And I long to say, “forgive me a sinner”, to be met with a soft hug and the loving response, “God forgives and I forgive” at forgiveness Sunday.

Forgive me a sinner, for I am an unfortunate Christian woman. I have sinned against thee.

#god #religion #tw religious themes #vent post #personal vent #slam poetry #maybe idk #monster fuxker marya #ex religious #religious guilt #yes it’s not smut #yes this is serious #im so sorry if you find out this way #orthodox christianity

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majaloveschris · 11 months

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I would have a different opinion if they seemed happy or comfortable around each other, but to me, they don't. I can't imagine my boyfriend or somebody who is happier than ever with me acting like this, and we all can see that this is not his body language, not just around people he's been in love with but around people he just simply likes. //

But no one in the public has seen enough of his body language around her to judge. The videos that have been shared publicly are:

- The two pap walk clips; the official one where they’re outside the church that Page Six included in their article and the accidental fan video of the awkward handholding walk through the park

- The scare compilation video where each clip is a couple of seconds long and he’s literally doubled over on the floor laughing in one of them

- The chin video where he was very happy to have her lying on him in the couch and covering half her face with his hand to create the illusion of the face on her chin

- The brief interaction at the Ghosted premiere where she’s laughing with him

There’s also the Mario Bros video where you can’t really see him but you can hear him laughing and the Powerpoint Presentation slideshow, but there was no video in that.

If you’re judging through the videos listed above alone and the slideshow photos that isn’t really enough content to gain a genuine picture of his body language or what their relationship is like or how comfortable he feels around her. Is it really fair or sensible to judge their whole 1-3 years of knowing each other/dating/relationship and his feelings about it on content that amounts to less than 5 minutes in total?

You would need to actually know them or have reliable, trustworthy sources to have any real insight to that information. Many actual language experts will say it’s difficult to accurately tell someone’s body language from a still image because it’s literally a split second in time and it’s harder to get a sense of the actual context. Remember how a lot of people were saying he looked so happy and excited in the Four Seasons Portugal Hotel video that he made for the teacher? And then the context was revealed that he was 99.99% only there in the first place because he was visiting her? Yeah.

I respect that you have your opinion and I’m not trying to change your mind. I’m just offering another perspective. Mind you, I definitely feel like his energy has been off for a long time now but I objectively don’t know enough about the man or the situation, nor am I in his circle to be able to form a meaningful opinion to say that it’s because of her or their (I guess you would say “alleged” 😭) relationship.

To me, that NYC pap walk seemed incredible awkward. The way they were standing and walking next to each other (I'm talking about the staircase video and picture) seemed unnatural, like they were forced to be there. To me, the fact that he was holding her hands when he knew they were being photographed and when he didn't know they were being recorded (I'm talking about the video that the girl uploaded to Twitter), he wasn't holding her hands and didn't even pay attention to her, and when she saw that they were being recorded, she tried to grab his, but he didn't want that, shows that it was for the show. I know a lot of people say it was because of the pap walk, because they were in NYC, and because they knew what was coming next. Nobody asked them to make their relationship public by parading in Central Park, because I think we can all agree that that wasn't a natural sighting. They could've posted a few stories indicating they are at the same place; they could've posted a picture where they are together (getting one from the photo dump); or anything that would've indicated that they are in a relationship. But they wanted them to do that on the day her show premiered. For the show.

I don't think dropping on the floor was a natural reaction from him. We saw him getting scared by Scott, and he's never done that. During those videos, he either overacted (dropping, stamping) or didn't react at all (when he just walked away from her in his MA home). I don't think those were genuine reactions.

The chin video was too much for me. Trying too hard, same with the Mario Cart video; her acting was good in that one. It's not like it was any better in the scare videos; her fake phone dropping and her fake reactions weren't any better. Two actors, and they can't sell a relationship.

In the Ghosted premiere video, she was the only one laughing and smiling. Chris wasn't facing the camera, and Megan had a mask on, so nobody can tell for sure if they were smiling or not. To me, it didn't seem like they were.

Just because he was smiling on the teacher's video doesn't mean he was happy. He can fake a smile for a few seconds, especially if it's for something work-related or good cause-related. I'd also like to mention that you can see in those photos and videos, which they most probably took in the earlier stages, that it looked like he was trying a bit harder or more.

I'm also not trying to change your opinion, I just wrote down my takes on these things. Thanks for being respectful! ❤️

I think we've seen enough, or, should I say, even more than we wanted, or that we did of his previous relationships. You can see him acting way differently with those women, whom he was surely together with. I'm not saying we can tell everything for 100% sure about their relationship based on what we've seen, but to me, they seem unnatural and uncomfortable around each other; they don't seem like two people who are extremely in love with each other and happy together.

And one more addition: four pictures to compare two relationships of his:

#majaloveschris #chris and alba pr #minka and chris #cevans-love

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semi-imaginary-place · 7 months

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Claude suffers the worst mischaracterization by fandom of the cast, he's so underappreciated.

People are so blinded by his mask, fandom's misinterpretation of him, and the characters with more dramatic stories like Edelgard or Dimitri (the loud characterizations as opposed to Claude's more subtle characterization), that they never notice the depth to his character. I trust maybe 5 of you total with handle Claude's character well. Maybe one day I'll drop the Claude essays… 3 Hopes actually helped with this by confronting people with their misconceptions, for me nothing Claude did in 3 Hopes was surprising because it was all there in 3 Houses for those of us that paid attention and actually played the game. The double hit of this is that one of Claude's in game struggles is how no one sees him for who he truly is and instead judges him based on superficial aspects like his parentage, so not only in game does he suffer from this but also out of game by the fandom.

Zieja popularized a mischaracterization of Claude and I despise Joe Zieja is such a petty way for this. Fandom turned Claude into the haha funny meme party bro playboy who has lots of sex and that is despairingly inaccurate, every part of that is like the opposite of who he really is. It's some weird bastardization of his surface level persona as a friendly, easy going person. It is the most surface level of reads on Claude and it isn't even accurate. Claude has trust issues and would not be comfortable with people physically near him. He likely has little to no romantic or sexual experience given he's scared of intimacy, how everyone hated him in childhood, and then after joining House Riegan he was still hated and distrusted for being different, popping up out of no where and drastically changing the regions power balance.

The surface layer to Claude is someone with a smile of his face, friendly, casual, and easy going. This is part defense mechanism, partly to easy social interactions, and partly because he genuinely wants to get along with people and make friends. This is what most people see, a large chunk of fandom somehow never even managed to see his first layer. Underneath this Claude is very calculating, constantly scheming, weighing options and planning into the future. This is partly to make his dreams a reality but also it too is a survival strategy after a childhood of assassination attempts and people doing everything to see him fail. This is the goal oriented side of Claude that is willing to make sacrifices to achieve an end. It is shown occasionally showing through in Three Houses. It is also more prominent in Three Hopes Golden Wildfire where a lot of people noticed it for the first time (because a large portion of people did not pay attention during Three Houses). But wait there's more, underneath this is yet another layer to Claude. The truth is that at Claude's heart he is an idealist and optimist who believes humanity can overcome their hate and differences and work together to create a better world. He believes in hope and the better nature of people despite seeing the myopia and petty bigotry of people for pointless reasons his entire life. Claude is also one of if not the most philosophical of the cast, he's the one always thinking deeper than the surface level from religion to existentialism to the nature of power. This mostly comes up in his supports, with Byleth, Petra, Shamir, Leonie, and others.

This is also why I say Claude and Edelgard are foils because these two are the biggest idealists of the cast, they can both see beyond the present world in the realm of possibility, what could Fodlan look like if the Church wasn't around, if Fodlan wasn't chained by crests and nobility. Their surface demeanors are opposite however, Claude is easy going, friendly, and casual, while Edelgard is cold and dead serious. However while Edelgard has one big wall differentiating her trusted ingroup from the outgroup, Claude has many layers so even people that see though his surface person don't have a full picture of him and his secrets. Their methodologies are where the biggest differences lay. Edelgard decides on a course of action and then doubles down on it, never straying from it even when the situation changes and it would have been beneficial to adapt her plans to new developments, she's very rigid. Claude meanwhile is fluid and adaptable but being unable to commit to a course of actions see all his plans fall to pieces in non VW routes.

#fe3h #claude von riegan #fire emblem three houses

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doomh3ad · 2 years

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👀 bo Sinclair and corruption kink????

OH YEAHHHHH GOD I LOVE THIS... warning it can be read as a little blasphemous... you fuck in a church that's all i'm saying

bo sinclair + corruption kink (nsfw under cut)

Bo has always had this urge to bring you down to his level.

He thinks you're picture-perfect, an angelic being sent to Ambrose specifically just to torment him. He's no stranger to depravity, and seeing you stroll around knowing you've got a pure soul and an innocent mind drives him mad. He can't stand it. He needs to turn you into a proper citizen. One that won't shy away from encasing tourists in wax or slitting their throats if they end up where they shouldn't be.

And he's got the perfect idea on how to do it.

Bo's known about your little crush for months now, but he's been waiting for the right time. He'd asked you to rearrange the church décor and you happily obeyed, starting at once: by the time he walked in, it looked entirely different. More welcoming, less scary - although that could be due to the reduced number of wax figures in the pews.

Well, you'd still have an audience. Kind of.

It's so cute, watching you deliberate over where to put the flowers you'd cut earlier that day - "to brighten things up", cute enough that he can't resist giving you a fright.

Your little heart must have jumped in your chest, because you shrieked when he came from behind you, laughing at your shock. You're rolling your eyes but he knows you liked it.

You liked being scared. It's another reason he has to corrupt you, he knows there's a darker version of you just waiting to be reborn under his touch. And you're oh so receptive when he's pinning you against the wall, his hands marked from working on the car all day staining your perfectly starch white clothes. It feels good to see that, see your exterior broken down as it undoubtedly is - your moans are nothing but sinful.

"You like that, angel?" He teases you, making you whine at how he withdraws. "Beg me, you want to be mine, you want me to fuck you, beg."

You're shy, but he knows you'll come around. You do when he looks as though he's going to leave you like this, panting and excited in a church, of all places. You look so needy, so depraved; you look like what he feels on the inside.

You're a manifestation of his desires, and he's going to fuck you so hard you forget you're better than him.

You can't judge his soul when you're begging for a killer's touch.

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sweeteaacakes · 2 months

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》 PREVIEW

So, I'm currently writing this for my WHB?OC 👀

A Note: This slightly diverge from the canon. The timeline events in-game will occur similarly but with some part rewritten!

»»-----------►

Ebony hair like a raven. Brown eyes like the eclipse. The mirror imperfectly reflects the other side. White dress that covers her from neck to toes. A veil with flower-crown, white and pure that show the stains of impurity.

Today is the day she will walk down the aisle along with other sisters to vow their loyalty to the Lord.

A ceremony from a long time ago, now practiced by few.

Her body felt light like she was floating instead of walking. Her mind is in a state of blankness. Was it because she was at peace? No, it was far from it.

Haneul Choi, Hannah, don't want this. And yet here she stands in front of the idol that seemingly looks down on her…

"You're so tense... are you scared?" A voice from somewhere in her asked.

Hannah bit her lower lip and tightened her grip on the cross once more.

“No…” she replied “[He] is not looking down on me... or judging me… [He] does not scare me…”

Bleak memories replayed in her head. A past that she may have took for granted and looking back now she realized she ignored just for her comfort until it led to the point she couldn't do nothing about it.

“Auntie… I'm sorry… I can't—!”

“What do you mean you can't!? You've been preparing for this for years! I dedicated my time, money and made connections just so they can perceive you!”

“...!” Hannah stumbled seeing her aunt's face of anger and hurt. But Hannah bit her lower lip to stand on her ground. She wanted to try to reason with her aunt.

“Auntie! I… I appreciate that, really! But I can't walk there with a sentiment so… so unwilling! It would be disrespectful and dishonest to you and everyone else's!” Hannah retorted and gave her point of view loud and clear.

Her aunt looked at her. Chest heavily breathing and nostril fuming. Her hands were so fast to grab Hannah's arm didn't have time to react. Eyes and grip locked to not let her escape. She pulled her niece close.

"You..." with the other hand she grabbed Hannah's cheek. "...You will walk there, make your vow, so the curse you and your grandmother casted upon our family will be gone to the fire of Hell! Understand???"

Her aunt tightened the grip on her jaw, nail digging on Hannah's cheek so her niece may look at her direct to the eyes not caring whether she hurt her niece or the tears staining her cheeks

"Look up, my child." The voice spoke again. "You know you can overcome this. You're strong."

May it be her consciousness or her imagination telling her she's far gone but Hannah did as it said. Taking a deep breathe, she looked up at the altar.

The light thru the stained glass shone upon and penetrated her veil to where underneath she put a bravado to steel herself. The light became intense, almost burning her eyes that she had to squint. And then a voice so strong echoed in the walls of the church.

"Daughter of Solomon... Finally I found you." The ethereal man said. Behind him were pair of six wings and crown with arrow-like pattern that shines like the sunlight.

Hannah could only watch, paralyzed by an unknown force, as he raised his hand holding a scythe which absorbed the light and with a swing directed a it's beam toward her.

As if her life was about to end in front of her, someone quickly covered her from the blast. The red blood spurted, tainting her dress.

"Minyeok!!!" She cried and let out a scream of help. She broke into tears and a powerful blow of wind followed bursting from her. A faint golden glow from the key turned black like a shadow, enveloping her body.

Hannah stumbled backward but never fell thanks to the hand that caught her. It was a palm about as big as her, with furs and sharp nails.

Looking down at her was an enormous beast. Eyeless and horns swirling forward almost covering its face. An upside-down cross in the middle of its forehead and a hexagram glows on his chest.

"You..." Hannah whispered in awe at the creature in front of her.

"I am..." it continued "...the demon who heed to your call, daughter of Solomon... One of the King of Hell and the Sin of Wrath. Satan."

»»———-　　———-«

Another Author Note: Thanks for reading until here! this preview came out longer as I wanted u_u) I swear this is not the full! There will be more scenes and will be edited!

I dunno how I will write this. Surely, I don't wanna rewrite the entire script of the game lol.

Until then, see ya!

#.sweeteaa writes #what in hell is bad #what in “hell” is bad?#whb #whb fanfic #whb oc #whb mc

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canon-vi · 5 months

Text

While Rozka doesn’t know how to draw guys, I don’t know how to create them, we’ll learn... probably—

--------------------------🦊----------------------------

Name: Drake

Age: 17-18

Height: 175

Birthday: 29.02 (February 29)

--------------------------🦊----------------------------

•

He dyes his hair black, his natural hair color is white

•

He takes sedatives, which is why he often walks around sleepy

•

He goes to church every Sunday, although he doesn’t believe in God, he still feels better after praying

•

On Lux's side, but not because he supports her, but because he's fucking afraid, and therefore does everything she asks

•

He remembers past timelines, but not all, but with a certain chance, he remembers a maximum of half

•

He is very easy to embarrass, seriously, one word can be enough for this

•

Wears headphones not so much to listen to music, but so as not to hear anyone

•

Braids his hair to calm down

--------------------------🦊----------------------------

Drake's attitude towards the others:

Adults:

Nightmare:

He scares me, I don’t know how it’s possible to stay next to him for more than 10 seconds and still remain healthy and mentally normal, one look from him terrifies me...

Killer:

Mom is very strong, because she spent the most time with this monster, seeing her beaten in itself is already like torture, but if I intercede, then there will only be more wounds...

Dream:

I would still prefer that he be my father, no matter how terrible he is in this role, at least he doesn’t beat his and not only children... He doesn’t beat them, right??

Ink:

Is she really the most beautiful woman? It’s just that it seems to me that there are more beautiful girls, for example there, mom, Lux... A... AaaaaAaaAaAAAAAAAA—!

Hope:

This miss is probably the best person in this world... It seems to me, or is it she has positive aura, and not Mr. Dream?—

Cross:

I miss him, the castle is very lonely and scary without him, and I never thanked him for his kindness... Oh, he has a bakery??—

Children:

Angst (alive):

He's crazy, he's fucking crazy! I don’t want to talk about him, I don’t want to be associated with him in any way.

Crescent:

He seriously pretends that we are not relatives... Okay, I can understand him... However, if I don’t want to be kicked out of the church, then I’d better play along with him

Merciless:

He really is a fearless masochist, since he goes with Lux and he loves her... I don’t understand him, she beats him, why is he okay with everything..? On the other hand, it’s not for me to judge, I also do everything like a fucking dog, haha

Lux:

I just hope that today she won’t hit me or my brother, haha... Women are scary... I saw her talking to thin air, HELP!—

Khe— I mean... She's just a great friend to hang out with! Haha...

Pallete:

I can’t look him in the eye, I’m really ashamed in front of him, I think I don’t even have the right to talk to him...

Goth:

She... Beautiful?— Well, all women are beautiful, there is no such thing as someone not being beautiful, well, some are just more beautiful, and some are less, right??—

Drop:

. . . Women are weird... Do all girls like older guys or is that just her? I don’t want to say that I’m somehow against it, it’s just that she’s still so small, children grow up so fast??

Bonus! ( what if )

Callisto:

Ahah, I feel dangerous just from his gaze, he will definitely break my neck one day, I don’t know why, but he will break my neck even with his gaze!

Taisiya:

She looks exactly like that miss... I just want to say thanks to her, I don't know what happened or why everything suddenly stopped, but thank you!

Artemis:

I hope that one day she will kill me before I kill her, ahah, what a fucking useless older brother I am, just a rat who only thinks about himself! ... Sorry...

Kira:

Thanks to her, I learned prayers much faster than I could have imagined, haha— She’s strong... She’s my salvation from Callisto’s company, at least in church, thank you!

Soleil:

Her self-confidence can be envied, she is... Fearless... And brainless— Khe khe! Sorry.! Please don't hit!

Vivi:

I envy her... Lux is very kind and sweet to her... I wish they would pat me on the head instead of hitting me...

Sunshine:

I don’t really know her, she’s with Pallete, I’m with Lux... ( take me away! )

--------------------------🦊----------------------------

E. L. A. by @anotherrosesthatfell

E. L. A. Artemis by @abloomingsunflower / @itzcherrybonbon

E. L. A. Sunshine and Soleil by @il1ketulipz

--------------------------🦊----------------------------

This bro really needs help—

#evil lux au #protect and cherish [e.l.a] merciless propaganda #a sunflower in full bloom au #what if au

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iamthejinyouarethejin · 9 months

Text

stage fright

writing this because it's the romanticized/fluffed-up version of what's gonna happen to me tomorrow. :)

te amo k ♡

i wasn't scared to smile. i wasn't scared to have fun. i wasn't scared to stand on a stage in front of 100 kids. it was lightwork. i'd done speeches and won awards, competing in front of judges. i'd done sermons for judgy church people. i'd performed as the lead character in shows over and over again.

but could i have done any of that if he was there?

could i sing, could i be emotional and act, could i focus or even speak if he had been there?

my legs trembled on the stage. this had happened before, but it was never this bad. i glanced at my teacher. she gave me a reassuring thumbs up. meant nothing. i scanned the crowd for him, hoping i wouldn't see his face.

"please please please please."

i prayed to dear God he wouldn't be there.

but He had other plans.

we made eye contact, and i looked away. at least i thought i did. instead, i stood there, eyes locked with his, wide-mouthed, almost missing the intro of my song. he raised a brow, giving me a quizzical look and glanced away in the direction of his friend.

oh no.

"placed my feet on solid ground-" i stammered through the words and tried not to cry, forcing myself to look at anyone other than him. i met my best friend's eyes, her brows curving up in worry.

"you good?'" she mouthed from the audience. but i couldn't respond. my voice cracked on the harmony, the mic shaking in my hands.

i tried to find someone else to stare down. a teacher, one of the principals.

anyone.

but i just had to meet his eyes again.

except this time, he smiled.

@ratataqueennn he probably won't smile tomorrow :(

#crush scenarios #praying this happens tomorrow but without the whole anxiety attack part TT #crush imagines #crush x reader #fem reader x crush #hobie brown x reader #eddie munson x fem reader #anna x draco #update!!!!! we didn’t even look at each other!!!!! 😜

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astr0-philia · 2 months

Text

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟛: 𝕎𝕒𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕥𝕙 𝕚𝕥….

Prolouge 1 2 3 4

[Y/N] POV:

"How many times do I have to say it? I'm Grim, spell-caster extraordinaire! I am NOT a weasel!" Declares with fury as he glares at the male in anger.

' Ah- there he goes again with his "I'm tHe gReAtEsT mAgIcIaN iN tHe wOrLd" sentence.'

Why was it that he was so hooked on getting into this school? In my opinion this school and the people in it look like they were going to open a portal for a devil.

Like why the hell are all of them wearing the same type of cloths with the same type of designs, with their caps on, they look like nuns in a church but with more fashion sense. It makes them look like they are going to start a ritual or something.

"Aren't you a spunky little fellow? Riddle, would you be so kind...?" The silver headed man inquired the red headed man in expectation. waiting for his answer.

'So the guy's name is Riddle....'

The silver haired man was also a bit suspicious. It was obvious the guy wanted to do it for other reasons but I kept quiet. A Princess must never voice out her opinions of course....

"Furry miscreant. I will abide by no rule-breaking. You will be judged by my hand." The red headed boy spoke with authority. His eyes narrowed on the cat like a predator about to pounce on its prey.

Why does the red guy want everyone to listen to rules 24/7? (Like my mom tbh)

but like-

Excuse me? I met this guy for less than 30 minutes and all I heard from him is

'Queen of hearts rule 34 blah blah blah'

Like man.....no one cares about the Queen of hearts rule! No one gives a shit dude.

Back to the situation.

So basically grim started running feral around the room and the 2 boys ran after him firing spells.....

'What type of entrance ceremony drama is this 💀 .' Like seriously. This whole thing was a mess.

'I mean it beats all the long lectures and shit I had to go through in the palace but isn't this too much?'

It was like a never-ending loop. The cat would fire, his great balls of fire. The boys would deflect them and then fire their own spells. Then Grim would dodge them and then run. I felt like I was staring at absolute nonsense .

Couldn't the two boys just use their magic properly and ACTUALLY do some damage at least?

They looked like they were getting beaten up by the cat rather than beating up the cat.

'Props for Grim for that achievement'

It felt as if we were standing there for an eternity I finally heard the guy, Riddle say something to finally capture the cat in some type of way.

"OFF WITH YOUR HEAD" A collar had magically appeared on Grim's neck. It was embroidered with a beautiful gold design and shaped like a heart. Each half of the hearts was individually colored in red and black.

"MYAH!!?? What are you doing?!!" screamed Grim in disbelief. He tried scratching the collar in panic but it would not budge. He looked like he was going through the five stages of grief because of the collar.. ...

Anyways-

"The Queen of Heart's Rule 23: "One must never bring a cat to a formal affair." Your very presence here is a violation of order. You will vacate these premises immediately." The red haired man exclaimed in annoyance. He looked very mad. When I say mad I mean MAD MAD.

"But I ain't a cat either! Don't try to collar me! I'll burn it right off!"

Me and the other students watched in fear as Grim tilted his head back to gain energy for what looked like one of the biggest fireballs he had made in the ceremony. We waited, waited and waited.....

Nothing happened

"Huh...? Wh-what gives? My fire ain't workin'!" in slight fear and astonishment at the revelation.

'His fire wasn't working????'

I couldn't help but stand in shock. Did I just get scared for nothing at all?

"Until I deem you worthy of removing that collar, you won't be using any of your magic. As of now you are nothing but a pet cat!" bellowed the red head. He sounded as if he was about to burst a nerve .

Then suddenly I felt a tap on my back.

Without looking back my hand had curled up into a fist and was flying to whoever unfortunate face was in the way. Just as I opened my eyes for a split second I saw who it was.

It was Yuu....

"Hey [N/N]-"

My fist collided with the nose of his face with great impact.

BAM 💥

- and he flew back just a few feet away.

"uh oh...." a whisper left from my mouth in pure terror.

I stood in silence as I processed what I had just done. I was horrified, this was utterly a mess!

I rushed up to him as fast as my feet could take me and checked his face.

"ARE YOU OKAY YUU????? I AM SO SORRY!!!" In a panic I screamed.

"I-Yeah I'm fine....." as he grimaced in pain.

'He sure doesn't look okay though...'

As I helped him stand up the silver haired boy started to talk.

"Ha-HA! Good show as always, Riddle. You're signature spell locks down any magic. It's quite handy." Says in awe and surprise. He looked joyful for some reason too. It was suspicious and did not sound right at all. He sounded like he was up to something...but he seems nice, so I think hell turn out just fine-

"I've just gotta have it—ah, I mean, I've just gotta have respect for it."

- And there it was. I knew something was wrong with that guy!

Suddenly the bird guy dashed to us in a flurry of fury and disappointment. He looked as he was going crazy with all the shit that happened today.

"Yuu and [Y/N]! Was I not clear that you are expected to take responsibility for your familiar? Now discipline your pet at once!"

"I've never seen that creature before in my life! I even told you repeatedly that it isn't mine!" Yuu bit back in annoyance. Sounds like he was holding it in for quite some time ahead. "Did you not hear it the first time I said it?!"

"Oh...Is that so?"

'Is this guy fr?'

"*Ahem* Then I shall have it expelled from campus. I shall even spare it from being served as dinner." In a nervous voice contrasting with his confident stature and poise. He looked like he was going to have a mental breakdown.

'Also cooking a CAT for dinner.....what absurdity is this....' This guy is cray I tell you!

"My, but I AM kind. ...Someone take this away, please." So Grim is now a 'this'. Heh.

"Nooooo! Let me gooooo!" He desperately screamed in fear and disbelief. "You fools better remember my name!" I don't think I'll be able to hold on that promise Grim...I have a hard time remembering names.......

"Cause I'm gonna go down in the annals of magic history! Just you wait!" he screamed at the top of his lungs. His voice shook the hall as he was guided out the room by the guards.

"Well, that was quite the unexpected fracas. I hereby declare that orientation has concluded." birdman declared in a hurry. "Housewardens, please escort your students back to the dorms."

"Finally....couldn't the guy say that like before all these shenanigans happened...." Yuu said while rolling his eyes and turning his head to me.

"I feel the same way Yuu... I fell the same way...." I said exhausted.

"...Hm? Come to think of it, I don't see Housewarden Draconia of House Diasomnia anywhere."

'What'

Did someone not get invited to the party?

....... Can't this orientation be normal for ONE second?!

"And that surprises you? Dude's a total recluse." the lion guy replied, sounding so done with all of this. He looked as if, that if this wasn't an important ceremony of sorts he would have dropped down to the floor and start sleeping.

"Wait a sec... Did anyone even invite him?" Said the cute white haired boy I helped in the fire in concern. He sounded quite concerned they didn't invite the Draconia guy.

"If you're that worried about him missing out, maybe you should have told him yourself." Said the beautiful man with purple under-toned hair.

'Wasn't this guy my housewarden?'

"Maybe, but I don't know him too well either..." said the white haired guy with a visible frown.

"Draconia... Like, Malleus Draconia? THAT Draconia?" said one student in fear and awe.

"So it's true? He really does go to school here?" one of them asks his friend.

"You think I know? I just figured it now to dumbass...." the friend replied back.

"Yikes...."

"Ah. Just as I'd expected." a different voice emerged from the group. He had the face of a new born baby yet had a voice gruff like a man. "I figured I'd come down and see for myself whether Malleus had made an appearance." The man with the deep voice, voiced out his feelings in plain disappointment.

"But once again, he was evidently not informed that his presence was required at an official ceremony." Now I feel bad for the Draconia guy....does he never get invited to parties or something?

"I mean, you must admit, he's not exactly the easiest person to strike up a conversation with." Well red head props to you! Its bad enough this whole ceremony was a flop but this wasn't right! Seriously though it's not nice to not invite an IMPORTANT figure to an IMPORTANT ceremony.

"No matter. All who were assigned to House Diasomnia, follow me. I just hope he doesn't sulk about this." The man with the deep voice sweatdropping at the behavior of the students. He was ready to turn back and leave. Before he could-

"Hey, I want you to give this to the Draconia dude...." I said with hesitance.

The deep voiced boy turned around as if he heard the best news ever. "Really! What is it dear?" Joy shining in his eyes as clear as day.

I quickly unclipped the necklace of my neck and handed it to him. "Hey dude this is a very important piece of jewelry to me...please tell the malleus guy to keep it safe....."

He quickly took the necklace from my hand in a gentle manner and smiled at me and he questioned "What is your name my fair lady, my name is Lilia Vanrouge."

"[Y/N] [L/N] is my name kind sir." I said as I curtsied to him.

"Well then thank you [Y/N]! I will now take my leave, I will surely and most definitely give your necklace to Malleus!" In utter joy as he left the room.

'Damn it...I forgot that necklace was from my sister.... 😭 '

Yuu just stood there in the zoned out and looked brain dead for a moment.

'I don't think the all information has sunk into his head yet....'

As he slowly took in all the information, you could see his face slowly contort from nothing to utter terror.

"I can't believe I'm in a school full of magical people and a princess ?! What the hell is going on with my life!!??" He mumbled in anger and confusion.

I patted his shoulder to wake him up from his trance. He turned to me in a hurry, looking quite scared but it worked. He looked surprised and looked at me as if he saw a ghost.

"You good bro? I know that getting transported to a whack ass college is something you didn't want....but hey! at least we are in it together?" I told him in the flurry of the moment.

Let me tell you.....I have never in the past 40 minutes of meeting him ever seen him get so flustered his whole face would turn red.

Just as I was about to say something to him again. The bird man approached us again.

"Well, [MC]. This is a most unfortunate turn of events. I'm afraid that you will not be attending Night Raven Collage after all. Surely you realize that I cannot very well admit a student with no magical ability to my academy ."

'Damn the pain is real for Yuu'

"But worry not. The Dark Mirror will see you safely home. Now, step into the gate, and visualize the place where you came from." At least he gets to go back to his home. I have to stay here cause I am probably a convict in my world now and also I think I got sorted into Pomfire or Pomefiore or some house in this college.

Also can't bro give us some space without interrupting our conversation out of nowhere? I was trying to have quality time with my dude Yuu before birdman came to interrupt us.

As Yuu walked up the stairs to the mirror. He looked like he was going to drop dead with all the attention he was getting from everyone at the ceremony. Not gonna lie I would be like that too.

'Mental anxiety is frfr 100% all day'

"Phew..." Yuu let out an exhale in annoyance and fatigue. I guess all that drama took the energy out of him. I can say the same thing for me too.

"O Dark Mirror! Return this soul to where it belongs!" exclaimed birdman in a confident voice to the mirror.

"..."

'Why is the mirror unexpectedly quiet now?'

*Ahem*

"L-let us, er...try this again. O Dark Mirror! Return this soul—" sweatdropped at the revelation of the mirror not talking. Was this really the mirror's answer-

"There is no such place."

"What...?" Yuu and the bird man said in synchronization questioning the answer of the dark mirror.

'Wtf is with today and all these shenanigans'

"This has never happened throughout my long tenure. I must confess that I am at something of a loss." At a loss for words he asked Yuu in a hurry and panic.

"Tell me from what land do you hail from?"

"Sure. I'm from Tokyo, Japan"

'Well that was unusual.....I've never heard of a Japan of any sorts.....'

"I'm afraid I am not familiar with such a place. I am intimately acquainted with the origins of every student who has ever come here, and yet..." Mumbled bird-man out loud, as if trying to make sense of the situation.

"This mysterious homeland of yours eludes me. Let us go to the library and look it up, shall we?"

"Yes, sir...." answers Yuu hesitantly.

Turning to me the bird-man said "As for you young lady. You must go to your dorm, as you have been sorted by the dark mirror there."

"Ok bird-man" I said in recognition. "I would like to ask how would I get there? My dorm members have already left?" Looking at the empty hall in front of us.

"I will ask the esteemed Vice-Housewarden of Pomefiore to lead you to the dorm."

"Well, that sounds interesting...."

"His name is Rook Hunt. He will be here in a minute or so. So just wait here until he comes."

The bird-man turned his back and started to move towards the exit of the ceremony hall.

I turned to Yuu. "Hey Yuu...it was nice meeting you today! I hope that you will be able to get home soon!"

Yuu looked at me in silence and then answered "Thank you for the enjoyable experience today [N/N], I really liked your company, once again thank you."

He turned around and left the following bird-man out of the ceremony hall. As the doors of the exit closed I was alone once again. It was lonely.

It was comforting yet lonely in a nostalgic way. I never felt so close to home in this silence. As I reminisced in the silence I hadn't noticed a person entering the room.

The person tapped my back. I stopped the urge to turn around and punch the guy like I did to Yuu. I looked back and saw blonde hair.

He was a taller-than-average young man with fair skin. His mid-length hair was cut in a bob style, with straight-cut bangs. Complementing his completion His eyes are green. He also has a wide-brimmed hat with a large feather on top. Altogether he just looked so pretty.

"Hello there mademoiselle. I have come to pick you up to take you to Pomefiore!" The guy said in glee. "Also my name is Rook Hunt. What may be your name mademoiselle?"

"Ah yes Rook- my name is [Y/N] [L/N] princess of the Andromeda. Pleasure to meet you!"

"Ah mademoiselle is a princess! I shall call you dame princesse!" A very unusual nickname but it was a good one nonetheless. "Now shall we go to the Dorm dame princess?"

I nod my head and we start to walk out of the ceremony hall to a new room. It had strange looking mirrors everywhere. We went into the one with a peacock and poisoned apple on it. It had a label at the top which was symbolized with the name of the dorm, it had a type of regal air to it. I felt as if I was entering my castle where I lived. It was nostalgic.

As we entered the Mirror Rook had started to talk again.

"Well then mademoiselle....this is where us people sorted into Pomefiore live!" In enthusiasm and ecstacy. "I can not wait for you to meet Roi du Poison, he is the housewarden and he is absolutely magnifique!"

As Rook rambled on about the housewarden and the dorm. I couldn't help but look at the dorm in awe. It looked like the palaces back in Andromeda but even more fashionable and regal! It looked fit to house a queen or a king. It looked amazing.

As we reached the entrance of the dorm, I couldn't help but feel a sense of foreboding......

'I have come all this way...I can do this...'

Was this really worth it?

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Authors Note:

I am so sorry for the delay of everything! I had my semesters going on and it let me tell you it's nerve-wrecking!

As of now the my semesters are still going on but I was somehow able to update today and I hope you liked it! It took me a whole week to write this chapter.....so it might be a bit inconsistent.

So to the bad news.....I don't think I will be update book until the end of my exams which will after the 15th of March! I am so sorry and I apologize deeply for my very late updates. I hope you understand!!

Have fun reading!

#twst grim #twisted wonderland x reader #twst #twisted wonderland #riddle rosehearts #rook hunt #various x reader #x reader #leona kingscholar #azul ashengrotto #kalim al asim #vil schoenheit #idia shroud #lilia vanrouge #crowley #enma yuuken

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