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tsumtsumrry · 8 months

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Film Bro

WC: 3.6k

warning(s): afab descriptions and she/her pronouns, language, sexual content (dry humping, somno (so dubcon just to be safe; please only read what you're comfortable with!!)

“And that’s why I fully believe that movies are better than books.” Harry finishes his lengthy tangent with a deep breath. He looks over at your bored face and a beat passes before you both burst into laughter at how he’s managed to turn such a frivolous topic into such a serious and longwinded rant.

“You’re ridiculous and wrong.” You shoot back, offering him a close-lipped grin to soften the blow.

You and Harry have always had differing opinions, but somehow, you’ve still managed to become really close friends. You’re always bickering and getting into little spats over stupid things, but you still love him. He makes you laugh and he makes you feel loved and warm, everything you’d want in a friend. And you know what they say, opposites do attract.

His arm is slung around you, and both of you are sat down on his cozy couch as he tries to offer up a rebuttal to your rebuttal and all you do is roll your eyes and pretend to tune him out.

“You’ve got to understand, love. With books, you read it, yeah? And if you’ve got no imagination, what does that do for you? With movies, you can see, feel, hear everything. It’s so much more immersive and touching when you can see everything happening right in front of you.” His arms leave your shoulder so he can use his hands to talk, animatedly explaining to you why he believes you’re so wrong. He looks at your face for a second, when your features start to soften he smirks and points at you excitedly, “See I’m converting you! And you know I’m right.” He leans back with a smug grin.

You just shrug, “You can think whatever you want, film bro. But I know that books are the most immersive experience on earth. There is nothing like reading words on a page and feeling them hit you with every letter. The good part about books is that even if that author doesn’t completely spell it out for you, you can create a piece of that world yourself, something that’ll always be yours to have and to cherish. Nobody else’s.”

He looks up to the ceiling in thought, twisting his lips like he’s considering it. You think you’ve got him until he suddenly perks up and opens his mouth to speak, “Ah, but like I said, the imagination thing. Can’t do any of that if I’ve got a shit imagination.” That smug smirk is back on his face and you roll your eyes. Guess he can win this round. You’re so incredibly tired from work anyway and you just shrug which causes him to let out a small sound of victory.

“And I am right again…as always.” He flashes you his signature smirk and you grab a pillow from behind you and smack him hard with it.

“Dickwad.” you murmur.

“Hey!” he chokes out a laugh, grabbing the pillow from your hands and placing it behind him instead, “You’ve lost your privileges, sweet girl.” He chuckles softly because he knows you hate when he calls you that.

He brings his hand out to motion to the TV in front of you and then swings his arm right back around your shoulder, “see. Look at this.” He instructs. You’ve almost forgotten a movie was playing with how into the debate you’ve gotten with him. The scene on the TV flashes in your eyes, a couple making out hungrily and desperately.

The male actor is pawing at every piece of his co-star’s skin that he can find, and with every touch, her breath hitches and her leg hikes higher up on his waist. They kiss like this is the last time they’ll be able to. The soft moans and grunts coming from the scene make your pupils blow out and your chest tighten. Your thighs push together softly and you curse your body’s inability to stay in control.

Harry raises his eyebrows and gives you a slow once over with an amused smirk on his lips, “a book ever make you feel like that? This fast?” You know he’s only teasing you, but you’re so immersed in the scene that you can’t even find it in you to care when you shake your head.

“This is exactly what I mean. A book might describe a touch, but actually seeing it, seeing him touch her like that, seeing how she’s enjoying it, how she reacts to it, that’s just cinema. Can’t find that feeling anywhere else.”

His voice has lowered in volume and timbre to match the intimacy of the scene you’re both watching, and you’re suddenly hyper-aware of how close he’s gotten to you and how ridiculously loud those moans are. And if you weren’t a little turned on and a lot confused, you would laugh at it.

You become even more hyper-aware of his fingers on your shoulder, caressing softly, the slightest touch, and you have no idea why it’s making you feel hot. His calloused fingers somehow feel light and gentle as a feather when he traces his index finger on your shoulder. And he just keeps going. As if it’s nothing. As if it’s not driving you crazy.

You wonder if he knows what he’s doing. You’ve always known Harry to be touchy, but right now? It feels different, or maybe you’re feeling different. You don’t know, but it’s currently driving you a little crazy. That imagination you were so keen on before is really coming back to bite you in the ass when you start imagining the female lead to be you and the male lead to be…Harry.

And what even brought this on? He’s always been attractive, yes, but these thoughts racing through your head, that’s more than an acknowledgment of attractiveness.

He says your name softly, looking down at you curiously. You look up at him and latch on to the concerned look in his eyes, “you’re so quiet. What’s the matter? Mad I won again?” You can’t even fight the smile that graces your face and he mirrors you with a smile of his own.

“Haha.” you deadpan. “You literally wish.” A soft chuckle leaves him followed by a sigh. He knows you like the back of his hand. And he knows that you’re both kind of turned on and very exhausted, so he expertly takes control of the situation and pats your shoulder softly, “you sleeping over tonight?”

You nod softly, and he grunts as he tries to maneuver you up off of the couch, “come on. That’s it.” You really play into the damsel in distress bit (like you always do when he offers to take you to bed) and you let him lead your tired body to his bedroom.

He sets you down on his bed and snorts when you let your body flop onto the mattress. “I’m gonna have a shower. I know you’re gonna be passed out by the time I get back, so goodnight. Dream of really nice sex scenes. Like the one that’s got you so turned on right now—” He can barely finish his sentence before another pillow is being hurled at him.

“Okay! Okay, I’m sorry, Jesus. Gotta tie your hands together or something.” he speaks through a laugh. You just shoot him a bored look and he rolls his eyes and leans down to press a delicate kiss to your forehead.

“Night, sweet girl.”

You don’t even remember falling asleep, but you remember Harry getting into bed. The world-class cuddler’s arms were immediately wrapped around you after he got comfortable.

You figure it’s been about two hours when you start to stir. That’s always been a thing with you, waking up in the middle of the night and falling right back asleep. Harry usually lulls you back to sleep with a gentle forehead kiss and a tighter cuddle. You sleep much better when you stay over at his place. All feels right in the world when you’re in Harry’s arms. Something about him makes anyone he touches immediately feel at home. You cuddle up closer to him innocently, and he mumbles out your name.

You figure he must just be trying to coax you back to sleep, so you nod, barely awake, and drift back off into the comfortable safe haven that is sleeping next to a human angel.

Harry, on the other hand, is also in heaven. Just a different kind.

He’s fully immersed in a dream where you’re the object of all his desires, standing in front of him in a get-up that’s so sinful and alluring it’s got him begging for you to let him touch the masterpiece that is your body.

You tease him and torture him until he can’t take it anymore, trailing your hands across his soft skin, kissing his neck and his jaw, leaving marks that he knows will give him flashbacks of how you ruined him when he sees them tomorrow.

“God, please, sweet girl. Let me have you.” he’s begging. And Harry is definitely not one to beg, you’ve reduced him to a puddle of need, grasping at any part of you that he can get.

“Wouldn’t be much of a punishment if I did though, right?” You pout at him with faux sympathy dripping from your voice and expression like venom. He groans deeply again when you palm his clothed bulge, rubbing the slightest bit to where he gets stimulation, but not what he needs.

His breath hitches as you press harder for a moment before letting off, and then bringing your hand back to his bulge. He chokes out a soft groan, willing himself to endure your cruel punishment so he can have what he craves so badly.

“I’ve been s’good for you, baby. Don’t fuckin’ deserve this,” he whines out his words, desperate to the point that he has no shame in losing himself for you, in you. “I’ll do anything for you, sweet girl. Please.” His heart pounds, his eyes frantically searching yours for any sign of mercy.

His hips start to thrust up in tandem with your soft rubbing, frankly unable to control himself with how absolutely ruined you’ve got him. His voice starts to shatter when he speaks and his eyes squeeze shut when you swing your legs around his hips and sit comfortably on his lap.

He looks up at you with that fucked out, ruined expression and you pout at him again, tangling your fingers in his hair and tugging just the way that he likes. Your hips move slowly against him like you’re testing the waters, and he immediately copies your movements, taking anything he can get from you, whining deeply in the back of his throat. He knows he’s leaking in his boxers and it would take nothing for him to explode right now.

You’re just so fucking sexy. Everything about you is like a tease to him. Your voice, your soft touch, that expression you make when you beat him in a debate, the expression you’re making right now as you take what’s rightfully yours. His cheeks flame a rosy pink as he looks up at you, his pupils blown and his cock throbbing with need.

His head rolls back as your hips start to meet faster, eyes heavy-lidded. He looks back up at you with a plead swimming in his irises, his hands balled into fists to avoid doing something he knows he shouldn’t. Your hips move faster and faster and faster….

He doesn’t even realize he’s doing it, his hips rutting needily, but slowly against your ass. His arms are still wrapped around you as he pulls you closer into him, his abs flexing as he uses your body to relieve the deep pressure in his gut.

Small moans and whimpers leave his lips, occasionally your name. Both of you are still fast asleep as he works himself into an absolute frenzy, his face is buried in your neck, shaky puffs of breath hitting your skin. Images of him worshipping your body and the feeling of that delicious friction on his throbbing cock are all that his brain can register right now.

The feeling of your soft cotton shorts and your supple ass consumes him as he trembles gently with every thrust, his cock sensitive from the slow teasing game his body is inflicting on him. What was once soft sighs, turn to slightly louder, more needy sounds. He mumbles and slurs out incoherent words through his bliss, probably some variation of what he’s saying to you in his dream.

It’s not even the movement that wakes you, it’s those sounds, those unabashed needy little noises that he’s making. Your eyes fly open and a small gasp rips through your throat and you register three things at once.

Harry’s the one making those sounds.

Harry’s arms are wrapped tightly around you as he rubs himself against your ass.

And your thighs are sticky and warm with your arousal.

Your first instinct is to freak out a little, considering you’ve just woken up to one of your closest friends getting themselves off on you. But then you turn your head around the slightest bit and you realize, he’s still asleep.

The poor baby’s worked himself up somehow and doesn’t even realize what he’s doing, doesn’t realize how needy he is. His face wears a tortured expression, his eyebrows arched and pushed tightly together. The desperate soft sounds continue to leave his slightly parted lips and all you can think about in this moment is how much you want to kiss his lips, soft and bitten.

Honestly, you’re at a loss of what to do in this situation. Do you wake him? Do you let him keep going until he ruins his pants? Do you just will yourself to go back to sleep and pretend this never happened? You know that last one’s definitely not going to work considering how ridiculously turned on you are. With every thrust against your ass, an onslaught of butterflies assault your stomach and you feel the pool in your underwear only getting wetter.

You don’t want to stop him.

“S..sweet girl.” He’s dreaming about you. Your entire body melts into a puddle when he mumbles out that petname that you pretend to hate.

Being the good friend you are, you figure you could at least help him along.

Your arm manages to break free from his hold and you use it as leverage to get your body to turn around to face him, once he loses his friction, a deep sound of disappointed leaves him and his brows fall, a pout gracing his face. His hips move in frustration as he tries to gain back the friction and you can’t help but feel bad for him.

“Harry.” you take ahold of his shoulder and shake him gently, “Harry.”

His body twitches a little in response to you rousing him and you smile gently, “Harry.”

His eyes flutter open and when he’s met with your eyes staring into his, for a moment he only looks disoriented, a little confused and grumpy that he’s being woken up. But then his eyes widen and you swear if it wasn’t so dark in his room you’d see every bit of pigment drain from his face.

“Shit. Oh my god.” It doesn’t take him long to figure out why you’ve woken him up. He’s so hard, sensitive, and it feels like he could come at any moment. And you’re looking at him like that.

“I’m so sorry. Holy shit I’m really really—I didn’t know what I was—” you don’t let him slur out anything else before you pull his lips into yours, kissing him with the same desperation that you can feel radiating off of his body.

You pull away from his lips with a soft click and his expression when you’re eye to eye again is one you know you’re going to commit to memory. He’s looking at you like you hung the moon and stars. You can still see that subtle frustration in his eyes though, you know he’s fighting to keep his hips under control. You hike your leg up so it rests over his hip and inhale deeply once your crotches are pressed together, “keep going. It’s okay.” You reassure him.

He stares at you for a moment as if he’s unsure, and you nod, scooting closer to him and encouraging him to put his hands back on you, “it’s okay, baby.”

Your soothing, yet sensual whisper of that name is what breaks him. His hips roll one slow thrust against your core and his jaw falls open in a deep groan. Your breath hitches at the feeling, you didn’t realize how sensitive you were until you felt him move against you, and fuck, you’re really sensitive.

His breathing gets heavier as he continues to fuck himself against your cunt, maintaining eye contact with you as he loses himself in the white hot pleasure that’s tormenting every part of his body. It feels so much deeper than normal, it feels like you’re everywhere all at once, and he’s not even inside you. You guys are merely dry humping on his bed but it somehow feels like the most intense thing that he’s ever experienced.

He says your name and you hum to let him know you’re listening, “you feel so fucking good. How do you feel this good?” he sounds out of his mind with pleasure. You can’t even find the words to respond to him so you just nod quickly and lean into to capture his lips with yours again. He moans into the kiss and his hands shoot to your hips to urge you faster against him and pull you closer.

It feels like he can’t get enough of you, like he can’t get close enough. His hands reach for every sliver of skin he can find, his lips attack your jaw and neck, leaving marks on you just like you did to him in his dream. Every kiss he leaves is frantic, like he’s afraid you’ll disappear. Continuous praises leave his lips, like he has to show you how grateful he is.

“You’re so beautiful.”

“Feel so soft.”

“So much fucking better than my dreams.”

“Fucking perfect.”

“Can’t believe you’re this wet from me using you like that. Filthy fucking thing.” he’s losing his restraint and you can absolutely tell, the way he’s talking to you, looking at you, thrusting against you, he’s letting go in the best way. He’s just doing what he knows will feel best for the both of you.

“Such a good girl. Taking me like this, fuck.”

You whimper softly as the tip of his cock bumps against your sensitive mound through the confines of your clothes. Originally you just wanted to get him off, but you find yourself chasing that release to, and it’s building faster than you thought. He feels amazing. With every deep grind against your cunt he drives you further and further into a pleasure induced oblivion. You should be embarrassed at the sounds leaving you and how you’re already so close, but it just feels too damn good to care.

“Harry…fuck.” you grip tightly onto his pajama shirt, grasping at whatever you can to ground yourself with the way you feel like you’re floating off the ground right now.

“Love the way you say my fucking name.” the words fall out of his mouth in a desperate whine, his hips move faster and needier and he buries his face in your neck to cope with all the sensations. He lifts his head up the slightest bit so his mouth is positioned right next to your ear and a full body shiver wracks through your body when he speaks, “need you to come for me, sweet girl. Can you do that for me? Know you’re close.”

“So close, baby please.” you babble out, your hips moving together in a frantic rhythm to reach your climax. He encourages you with desperate words that sound more like whimpers and uses his firm grip on your hips to drive you harder against him.

It builds and builds until everything in you draws up taut like a bow, you shudder through the release and Harry can’t keep his eyes off of your expression as he gently pushes you through it.

“Gonna make me make a mess in my fuckin’ pants, fuck.” You fight through the painful pleasure of overstimulation as he chases his release, focusing in on the way he almost looks pained as he works himself against you so desperately.

A rushed whisper of, “m’coming” leaves him before his thrusts grow sloppier and rougher. His mouth falls open as needy, filthy noises leave his lips. He practically sings your praises as he makes a mess on the both of you, leaving open mouthed kisses on your neck to ground himself as he works through a powerful release.

“Sweet girl.” he whispers after a moment of silence, bringing his face out of your neck to look at you. His hands come up to caress your cheek, blowing out a breath from his mouth like he’s in awe of you.

“Hi.” you whisper back, “that was….”

“Yeah.” he finishes. A small chuckle leaving his lips at how awkward you two are making this.

You’re unsure what to say for a moment and you look away, but his fingers grab your chin, “don’t do that. I like looking at you.”

You look away again in pure shyness and he laughs and forces your eye contact again, “don’t!” he speaks through his laugh.

He leans down to kiss you and a pleased hum leaves both of your lips, he barely disconnects from you before he starts to speak, “you believe me now, right?”

“What do you mean?” you whisper.

“Movies are better than books.”

#harry styles one shot #harry styles fic #harry styles writing #harry styles smut #harry styles x reader #harry styles blurb #harry styles fluff #harry smut #harry styles #subrry #kind of switch harry #sub!harry #switch!harry

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lovelybrooke · 4 months

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If you're interested in doing some headcanons for Kieran, I'd love to request some!

Yandere Kieran x Reader (Pokemon Scarlet/Violet)

I caved and wanted to write this, don't judge me. (also if you want to request anything for the games go ahead).

Masterlist

---

Kieran despises the thought that people think he's weak. He hates knowing that whenever someone looks at him, they view him as small and helpless. So it doesn't help when you, a random student visiting Kitakami, come and prove every one of his insecurities right. You're so much stronger than him, in and out of Pokemon battling. You have this deep connection with each member of your team and he just despises it.

However, even with all this, Kieran can't seem to hate you. You're kind, to him and his sister. You never judge him for his shy nature, in fact you seem comfortable around him, even going as far to consider him your friend. It makes it hard to hate you, because he knows you're a good person. But whenever he's around you he feels weird, like he's sick. He's too embarrassed to ask his sister, so instead he bottles everything deep down. Because of this, whenever he's around you he's awkward, stumbling over his words and blushing whenever you look at him. To everyone it's obvious he has a crush, but to him, he still feels this sort of resentment towards you, even if it is overshadowed by adoration.

After you tame Ogerpon, Kieran converts his mixed feelings for you into motivation to get stronger. He has to get stronger, he needs to. He needs to prove to himself, and you, that he's strong. He doesn't exactly know why, some days he feels like he's doing all this to protect you, to keep you safe. Other days it's because he wants to prove you wrong, imagining what it would be like to see you cry as he destroys your team. In truth, he doesn't know why he's acting this way, but he knows it's your fault. You made him feel this way, and he hates it.

While Kieran's away at Blueberry academy, all he's thinking about it you, about getting stronger. It worries Carmine. Unlike Kieran, she's able to recognize his feelings for you, and at first she thought it was cute. She thought he looked up to you, since you were so strong. In a way he does, just, a little too much. It's not long after she hears Kieran murmur about you that he changed his appearance, and when she asked why, he seemed almost embarrassed. He just mumbled about something about you and about something else she can't hear before rushing off. She chalked it up to him wanting to seem more confident. In reality, Kieran, even though he'd never admit it, wants to present himself as this cool person in hopes that you like that version of him better.

Carmine was so happy when you arrived at Blueberry Academy, she was so relieved. She thought you could talk some sense into her brother, maybe he'd even confess. Instead, when you meet, Kieran looks like he couldn't care less. In reality, he was a mess. His angry and harsh dementor was a facade for the chaos running through his mind. He kept wondering why you had to come now, he wasn't ready. He doesn't know why he expects you to take on the League, because deep down, he knows you're strong enough to defeat them. He starts to feel that old feeling again like back when he was with you in Kitakami, the one that made him feel sick. It's even worse whenever anyone in the league talks about you. He can't help but be so jealous, you must like them because they're strong, right? Well he's stronger, so just, look at him...please.

Kieran rejects any attempt you make to come close to him again. He's still hurt after what you did in Kitakami, and he's still dealing with his feelings for you. But most of all, he's embarrassed. He's spent the last four months non stop thinking about you, about how strong you were. He's channeled all his confused, messed up emotions into becoming the strongest, and now that you're here, all he can think about is how pretty you are, about how well you work with your Pokemon and others, about how even after how mean he's been to you, you're still kind to him.

It isn't until you beat him that he fully accepts his feelings for you, he's enamored, obsessed, infatuated, whatever you want to call it he doesn't care. He becomes completely delusional, believing that you two were made for each other, that you came to Kitakami when he did for a reason. He doesn't care if he can't beat you, if he'll never be as strong as you, because either way, you'd still be his friend, right? And that has to mean something. If not, what was all this for.

After everything in Area Zero, Kieran apologizes, and asks for a reset on your friendship and luckily you agree. He's so happy, and he can't remember a time he was happy. When you bring him into a hug, he feels so warm, and he wants to cry. After all this, Kieran becomes less demanding, at least outwardly. He's possessive, of you and your time, and very clingy. He's just afraid that if you leave, even for a second, you won't come back. He still doesn't like it when you hang out with any of the league members, or really anyone other than him. He still holds the belief that you two are one of the same, and so you shouldn't waste your time with others.

I don't think you'd really notice anything wrong with Kieran. It's easy to chalk up his behavior to the deep insecurities he has, rather than an obsession with you. It might take interference from Carmine or another League member to finally get you to open your eyes about his behavior, and even then, he's great at manipulation. Just a few tears and you're comforting him and promising him you won't leave.

#yandere x reader #soft yandere #platonic yandere #yandere pokemon #pokemon x reader #pokemon scarlet and violet #yandere kieran #kieran pokemon #kieran x reader

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rosehxnt · 5 months

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bonjour >:) requests are open, and thus i am requesting leona, vil (aster is converting me how dare) and idia (again, i am being converted) with a s/o who drags them out to buy matching outfits and accidentally revealing their secret relationship?

it’s just an outfit

ft. leona kingscholar, vil schoenheit, idia shroud summary: even with the attempt to hide their identity, your boyfriend is noticed in public shopping with you warnings: invasion of privacy via paparazzi, use of they/them pronouns for reader (idia)

leona kingscholar He seemed so nonchalant about it, only opting to wear a hat and insisting no one would care what a second-born prince was doing buying matching outfits with another person. He seemed to be correct on that matter until five minutes after you got back to his dorm to lay down. After changing into your couple’s black and yellow loungewear, messages began to flood your phone from your friends. Links to dozens of articles claiming to have the scoop on Leona Kingscholar's new relationship. "‘Sunset Savanna Royalty Seen Shopping with Mystery Person. Could This Be a Budding New Romance?’” Leona read one of the titles over your shoulder, throwing in sarcastically shocked tone. You glared at him as you turned to face him before your face fell in worry. "What if this…changes things between us? Since everyone practically knows now." "I don’t think this changes anything between us. Not to me, anyway. We just don't have to sneak around anymore." He paused to rest a hand on your cheek. "You’re still okay being mine, right?" You nodded. "Of course I am." "That’s all that matters to me, love." Leona threw his arm over your shoulders to bring you closer to his chest, not missing the chance to leave a kiss on your forehead before continuing your impromptu nap.

vil schoenheit It was his idea to both wear masks to reduce the possibility of being recognized. He was even smart enough to style his hair differently than usual. Needless to say, Vil had a lot of experience trying to avoid paparazzi as one of the most famous teenagers in twisted wonderland. You had insisted on going out and getting matching outfits despite your relationship not being public yet, he agreed but not without a warning of how overwhelming it could become if someone recognized him in public. "It's no big deal, I can handle it," you told him. "As long as you're confident, my dear." The trip was going fairly well, you had picked out matching peacoats that would help keep you warm in the cold temperatures. It was when you were looking at sweaters that a fan of his recognized him and noticed your close proximity to each other. Before you knew it, pictures were being taken as Vil took your hand to lead you away, tsking at the misplaced enthusiasm the public had for him. Once you were sure you were alone he turned to hold you. "I apologize for the scene, I hope it wasn't too much for you." "I'm sorry for dragging you out here." You glanced the ground. "People will probably start harassing you about being in a relationship now." "I knew the risks before entering a relationship with you." He tilted your head up to look at you properly. "I don't mind at all, because now I'm able to be open about the fondness I hold for you."

idia shroud It’s not like you were actively keeping your relationship a secret, it just hadn’t come up in conversation yet. Most of the time you and Idia spent together was either on voice call or playing games in his room. You had asked him a few times if he’d be willing to go with you to get matching outfits. It never mattered what it was, just as long as you matched with him. One weekend he finally found the courage to go to the mall with you, as long as he could keep his hood up and face down the entire time. You were almost jumping with joy at the prospect of getting your introvert boyfriend to do something he would've never done before meeting you. Yes he had stipulations, but you were just glad to have this bonding opportunity with him. Idia quickly steered you towards the back section of a store that he claimed had "everything an otaku would ever want." You passed walls of shirts for every anime, video game, and vocaloid you'd ever heard of, and then some. That's exactly when he spotted two students he shared occasional classes with. Said students noticed him back, saw how he looked at you with panic, and quickly connected the dots. "Well if they're standing that close to Idia Shroud..." "Exactly what I was thinking, they've got to be special to him for that kind of privilege." You didn't get to hear the rest of the conversation as Idia dragged you out of said "otaku heaven," mumbling something about finding merch online instead.

a/n: sorry that leona's is a bit shorter, i tried to mix up each scenario the best i could m.list & rules

#ediewrite #twisted wonderland #twst imagines #twst x reader #leona kingscholar imagines #leona kingsholar x reader #leona kingscholar #vil schoenheit imagines #vil schoenheit x reader #idia shroud #idia shroud imagines #idia shroud x reader

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youkaiyume · 10 days

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Alright, so I've been a fan of Shane, Ryan and even Steven since their buzzfeed days and I've been watching this whole thing with Watcher moving their content over to their own streaming service debacle.

Like most ppl, I think it's a poor business move to alienate your fans like this, but I've been thinking on it more from maybe a financial perspective. I'm wondering how many people actually signed up for it. I saw a tiktok advertising expert say that the conversion rate for ads--meaning the number of ppl to actually buy something when they see an ad is about 1-5%. Like, right now they have about 2.8 million subscribers. And even though they've lost about 50K since and counting, they probably anticipated some loss. I'm sure they've mathed that if they just get at least like 100K conservatively out of their nearly 3 million fanbase to sign up, they'd be able to make $600K a month from their streaming service at six bucks a pop each month.

Maybe that's worth it? I'm not exactly sure how much they were making before. Ppl say they had 11K subscribers on patreon before but that's just their member total. Actual paid members was about 5K. But despite the controversy, their patreon member count has actually gone up. Today it sits at 12K members total with nearly 6K members paying. So they're making at least $30K-70K+ a month currently on patreon based on their offered tiers. not sure how much they were making on ad revenue alone or sponsors cuz I'm not sure how that stuff works on youtube. But maybe by their own accounting they think the loss of followers was worth it if they can hang on to that small, loyal but paying minority.

Another youtuber has pointed out that if you have a sponsor for a video and it's a one off, it can pay more. Up to $35K. So if that is the peak and they release 1 video a week, so 4 a month would be like 140K a month on sponsor money. And youtube pays about $10 per 1000 views a video, and they average 1 mil each video. So about $40K a month on views. So we can guess that they made about $180K a month currently on youtube (patreon and merch sales not included).

Honestly, if they can reach the goal of 1-5% of their subscribers converting to their streaming platform, yeah they probably would make more money in the long run. IF they can somehow manage to retain as well as grow those number of subscribers on their new platform. And don't forget, they don't plan to delete their current videos on their youtube channel so they'll still be earning revenue from those videos. We'll have to see I guess given how much goodwill they've lost with their audience.

Tbh, I am all for them trying to get paid more for their work but I also think they could have transitioned much differently, like only putting some exclusive content on their own platform while also posting free shows to youtube. Or maybe delaying releases for a week or a month for youtubers. or cutting back your production costs if it's really killing you cuz everyone has pointed out they liked the ghoul boys when it was just a black screen with text scrolling by saying "wheeze." Only time will tell if this move paid off for them.

But I'm not super knowledgeable on how the entire youtube thing works so if someone has some insight, feel free to weigh in.

#watcher #shane madej #ryan bergara #steven lim #its not a bad business move tbh if they get guaranteed 6 bucks each month each subscriber #and they don't have to care about the views/what is popular because they are no longer paid by how well a video does #also i am really tired of ppl placing the blame on one person #like i get that we all have faves and maybe some are problematic #but that doesn't make your faves innocent cinnamon rolls okay #they all made that decision together #text post #personal

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cupcakeslushie · 6 months

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Ayup! So, question about Donnie's view of his brothers:

He's never met Raph, only seen him once, hasn't actually met Mikey but has kinda stalked him, and talking to Leo was like talking to a filing cabinet. He loves them, but he also hallucinates them, and does he just have kind of made up personalities for them in his head, based off of so little?

“Talking to a filing cabinet” (wheeze) sorry I just gotta take a sec…(ﾟ∀ﾟ)

So before actually meeting them all, and forming a real bond with his brothers, Three is obsessed with comparing himself to them. Not necessarily in a bad, resentful way, but in a sadly unachievable desperate way. He (by way of listening to Draxum) puts them all on pedestals without actually knowing their skills. He just assumes they would be perfect, strong specimens, and never really thinks much of what their personalities are like. While the hallucinations that constantly plague him are convincing enough to fool him in the moment. Three is still able to remind himself in the after, that they are not his brothers. Most days he talks more to those shadows, than Draxum, the goyles, or even Vee. They almost never leave him, especially in the last year, when, as far as he knows, Vee has just up and disappeared on him.

Through the footage he can get his hands on, he sees Mikey’s resilience in battle, and is curious about the mystical acumen there. Vee tells him about how The Oni spares more lives than Big Mama demands he take, all while still managing to make an entertaining enough performance that he avoids being punished for his mercy. Mickey doesn’t even realize he’s doing it in those battles, but he’s mimicking the theatrical Leo from his memories, when they would all play together, and his big brother would weave these bright and lively stories for them act out. Donnie is very protective of Mikey, as Draxum has always held Four over Three’s head. When they meet, Donnie is really thrown off by how happy and bright Michelangelo is.

For Raph, Three is baffled by the kind expression he sees on One’s face. Three has always assumed he would be an absolute power house monster, based solely off his species and the size he must be. When Three watches Raph rescuing Mickey from Big Mama—a scenario Three could only dream of completing—there’s a kindness and type of strength, Three had never even considered. Three grows desperate to experience that safe feeling, but it also brings a sort of hopelessness. Subconsciously he begins waiting for a similar kind of rescue. When he meets Raph, Donnie is on his best behavior. Raph is a sweet and caring blanket of comfort, but he’s still huge and a possible threat. If Donnie makes Raph unhappy in any way, he could be kicked out, and sent back to Draxum.

For Leo, yes, it is sometimes like talking to a brick wall. Three gets almost nothing from him, except a feeling of failure. Draxum is expecting Three to convert Leonardo to their cause, or at the very least gain some inside knowledge that they can exploit at the right time. But Leo is so unyielding, Three is almost more scared to talk to him than anything, because can never make any headway. But Draxum doesn’t accept failure, so Three goes all in every single time. When he meets Leo again, it’s like being reunited with a stranger. Leo is guilty and overcompensating for his cold attitude towards Three, but he still has some moments where his anger is scary.

#rottmnt #ask slushie #separated au #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt separated au #rise donnie #rise leo #rise raph #rise mikey #ew au #sep!au infodump #Empyrean Weeping Au

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wingedhallows · 3 months

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we'll be family; sirius black

pairing: sirius black x reader | 1.6k words plot: sirius is finally back and your godson is as well. You're determined to finally be a family, no one will come between, you're determined. prompt: "we'll be family" authors note:I hope you like it, there might be another part :)

navigation | part two

“The food is incredible, Molly.” you smiled at the red haired woman. A couple of humms agreeing with you as you continued to devour the bowl of food. “I’m glad, hun.”

Your hand was entangled with his, shoulder to shoulder.

Sirius had broken out of Azkaban a few months ago, you’d been inseparable ever since. Albus had let you finally and officially meet your godson, not that you haven’t seen him before.

The old wizard had forbidden you to take him, he had deemed you unfit to take care of an infant when Lily and James were killed and Sirius was sent to Azkaban. You complied all those years ago, not that you didn’t go down without a fight.

“Harry, love, we’ll get all of your things tomorrow morning, alright?” you spoke, his head snapping to you. He gave you a small smile and nodded. “I’ll come with you, no worries.” Your hand found his and his smile widened a tad. “Alright.” Harry had run away in a fit of anger, with good reason, you thought.

That old hag had it coming. You slightly waved your hand and the jug of water hovered over the table towards you. You were one of few wizards who were able to do magic without a wand. Making you a great asset to the Order.

Sirius tensed up, you knew well that the wrongful accusations still hurt him and how annoyed he was that he was practically bound to the house he most hated.

“Alright, all kids out!” Alastor spoke as he made his way into the kitchen. “We’ll start the meeting!” he continued. Molly ushered the children out before Harry turned to you. Sirius's hand had found its way across your back and held your waist while the other gently stroked your shoulder.

Oh, how you had missed this, missed him.

“I want to stay, Y/N.” Harry whispered as he held onto your hand. Sirius didn’t intervene, he had made his point an hour ago. “Go on now, Harry.” Molly pushed him gently and you rose to your feet. “I’d like Harry to stay.” You said.

Severus who just arrived scoffed at you, lips in a snarl as he opened his mouth. You held on to Harry and ushered him to take a seat just like yourself.

“He’s got you under such a tight grip, just like all those years ago.” You rolled your eyes at him and propped your head onto your hand in boredom. “Like calls to like, I guess.”

He paused and the hand your husband had around your back tensed, your eyebrows shut up in anger. “Black’s been a lovesick fool without an opinion even in his school days, it was only a matter of time for you as well, Y/N.”

Your face converted into the cold mask you knew too well, the fork in your hand clutched tightly as you, without a thought, apparated just across the table. Sirius had gone through a lot during your school days, his parents were absolute monsters and your love kept him above water all those years. To badmouth your connection, the shared pain and sorrow was unheard for.

Without as much as a huff you pointed the fork to Severus’ neck, his eyes wide.

“I might be all smiley, happy even because after twelve years of a sentence he didn’t deserve, I finally have my husband back you better don’t forget that I’m a Slytherin as well, dear Snivellus.” You leaned down, eyes boring into his. “I’ll end you just like the little worm you are, if you dare insult my husband once more.” “Any more comments to add?” he gulped and avoided your eyes. “That’s what I thought.”

Without another word you apparated right back into your chair, the slight squeak from the old chair the only sound in the room. “What was that?” Kingsley spoke. You didn’t think too much of it. Your friends have known since school, even Albus and Minerva knew. It was no secret that wandless magic was your expertise.

“You’ve mastered wandless magic?” Kingsley spoke again, your eyes found Harry’s, who tried to hide a laugh. Your outburst towards his most hated teacher filling him with joy. “I had a lot of time.” You huffed, the filled cup found its way to your painted lips.

Your hands found their way to your lover. His lips connected with your neck as your fingers played with the back of his neck. “You’re breathtaking when you’re angry.” He whispered in your ear before pressing a light kiss onto your cheek. “Oh, how I love you, Sirius.” you smiled into the kiss.

The meeting had gone by quickly after you all agreed to let Harry join the next meeting. Albus claimed that he had to think about it thoroughly, since it wasn’t a light choice to make. Sirius and You stood with your opinion, there was no time to waste, you thought.

“Here they are.” you smiled before grabbing a pile of dusted old books. They were in fact photo albums. “I haven’t seen those in years.” Sirius spoke behind you, his hands tucked into his trousers. “I want Harry to have them.” you gave him a kiss and made your way out of your bedroom. Sirius had given you a nod and settled on the bed without another word.

You knocked on the room the kids slept in. Harry, Hermoine and Ron had agreed to share a bedroom. There was a slight rumble before you opened the door with a squeak. You tried to suppress a laugh, of course they were still awake.

A snort escaped you as you flicked on the light. “Stop pretending to be asleep, you lot aren’t good at it.” Harry rose first and gave you an uncomfortable laugh. Hermoine and Ron joined him shortly after. “Sorry, we were supposed to-”Oh, please. You’re old enough to sleep when you feel like it.” You waved him off, the three visibly relaxed.

“I came because.. I wanted to give you these.” You held out your hands. Your godson got up from his bed and joined you on the floor. His friends joined you as well. “What are these?” He asked. You gave him a smile and opened the first one. “These are our years at Hogwarts.”

The first page was graced with a group photo of Lily, James, Remus, Peter, Sirius and You. You all held onto your graduation caps, wide smiles on your faces. “This was right after graduation, but there are pictures of all seven years.”

A small smile formed on your face as you watched how James had tried to stretch his arms over all of you, how Lily leaned into James’ side with a wide smile. Remus had his arms around Sirius and You, your hand on Sirius chest as he pressed a kiss onto your head.

Harry stared at you with wide eyes. “I was determined to document our time together.” you paused and flipped to another page. “This was after your mother had finally agreed to go out with your father, we were all so happy that James’ yapping would stop now. He was insufferable, really.”

In the picture was James as he held Lily in his arms, smiling wide. Remus, Sirius and You stood next to them shaking your heads. Sirius had his hand in yours and your other arm was propped up on Remus' shoulder who had sat down onto a tiny wall.

Harry chuckled and you flipped to another page. “This was when your parents asked us to be your godparents.” you looked at the picture. How the shock spread onto your faces before you smothered baby Harry in a kiss. Sirius stroked Harry’s cheek and settled a kiss on your cheek. You’ll never forget the warmth that spread through you as they asked you, how much love warmed the place that night.

“Take your time looking through them.” You paused and raised your hands to Harry’s cheeks. Oddly enough it felt like all those years ago, when you used to hold little Harry in your hands. “I know Sirius and Me are not your parents and…we’ll never be but, I’ll try my best to be anything close to the mother Lily never got the chance to be.” A tear made its way down Harry’s cheek and you quickly wiped it. “I love you, Harry. We’ll be a family now.”

You gave Hermoine and Ron a stroke to their cheeks as well and left them alone. Before you were out the door you spoke once again. “You can ask me anything about them whenever you want, I’ll gladly answer your questions.There are so many great stories about them.” he nodded and got to his feet.

Within seconds he had his arms around you, his face buried in your neck. You held him, stroked his back in a comforting manner. “Thank you, Y/N. I love you too.” He raised his head and you wiped the tears once again.

“Your parents would be more than proud of you, Harry. Such a lovely young man you’ve become.” you planted a kiss on his forehead and left the kids alone.

Sirius was still awake, a book clasped in his hand as he looked at you through his reading glasses. “Are you cryin’?” he said, book long forgotten as he sat on the edge of the bed. You nodded and embraced him in a tight hug, your head rested on his chest. “I showed him some pictures of all of us.” He planted a kiss on your temple. “Oh.” was all he said.

“I miss them.” you whispered, a tear rolling down your cheek. “Me too.” he answered.

#harrypotter #hp fanfic #marauders era #marauders imagine #the marauders #sirius black #sirius black x reader #harry potter fanfic #sirius black angst #sirius black one shot #sirius orion black #sirius black fanfic #sirius black x you #sirius black x y/n #sirius black imagine #sirius black fluff #the marauders era #marauders #remus lupin

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yourdakg · 1 month

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Donation Found!

Remember Ryder? The SoCal pretty boy who was depressed that his life was a vapid, superficial, and party focused existence? He contacted Turnaround Technologies to ask, nay plead for a new body and a new life. See his Donation Request Form.

If only it were that simple. Turnaround Technologies utilizes some of the most advanced science on the market. When a body is fully adjusted, it's a slow and sometimes torturous process! If it was as simple as switching brains, that would be one thing. But the subjects have to physically transform into one another, and then brainwaves are overwritten. Chemistry, genetics, biology, and psychology are all involved in this elaborate process.

So Ryder had to come up with the $325,000 fee. Luckily, he had money saved and he was able to sell off the red Mustang convertible and his yellow Yamaha Sport Bike to meet the target. The final straw was giving up the deed to his WeHo apartment. Don't tell him, but his donor bought the items! Isn't that funny? He covered the rest with personal loans! Well, a little bit of debt won't hurt.

Let's remind you of where Ryder is starting his journey:

And now let's the see information plate for his donor. I think he'll be very pleased! After this, he'll never have to worry about being surrounded by vapid, beautiful people and fending off pesky pool party invites! Yes, this is the ideal swap partner for Ryder.

Meet Dr. Pervus Fondler. And wouldn't you know it? Dr. Fondler was a doctor in Ryder's hometown! They actually know each other. The good doctor cares very deeply for Ryder and was pained when he heard about his current circumstances. He decided that his job as a physician meant he had to step up and give the ultimate sacrifice! You know what they say: First Do No Harm.

Donor Statement: While I am nervous about the process, I am confident that I will give Ryder a new future, one where he won't have to worry about all that vanity and his gym obsession. True freedom for the boy!

Thank you, doctor, for going the extra mile for your patients. Turnaround Technologies will prepare the Exchange Chambers. Both subjects will be stripped down and cleansed before being placed in metallic, moisture wicking bikinis while our technicians prepare for the process:

Now that Ryder is dressed and the drugs are injected into his system, it's time to introduce him to his generous benefactor. I hope he has a positive reaction to the kind of man he will become. Let's check in!

Patient Statement: No! Holy shit! No, not Pervus the Perv! You can't put me in that. Don't force me into that body! I'd be going from a perfect ten to a zero. Please! No... LET GO. Please, oh my God. No, I thought it would be another buff guy like me. I change my mind, I changed my mi--**UMPH HRRMPH**

It's not clear why Ryder objected so strongly to his partner. Maybe it was the shock of knowing who the doctor was from earlier in his life. At any rate, he paid the fee and signed the paperwork so there is, quite literally, no going back. Swaps of this nature are once in a lifetime and, of course, quite permanent.

Subject had to be forcibly gagged and sedated.

Add another $125,000 for the service. Ryder sure is going to pay a lot of money for his new life!

When he came to in the chamber, Ryder was pounding on the door. I think he was crying. His oversize genitalia were mashed against the glass in his silver pouch. It was quite the sight. When the whirr of the machine began and the paralyzing blue light hit, his eyes went crossed. He fell backwards and pumped his hips in the air. Well, the erection is to be expected. I've heard the process somewhat erotic, though painful.

It takes a couple days and the exchange unstable during that time, but I am happy to report the following:

Donor Report: I feel good. Very good. I'm probably going to move to SoCal, sort of take over Ryder's apartment. I'll probably start using his name now too. Don't wanna confuse people. I don't even have my old, perverted urges. I hope he's comfortable with the mental traits foisted on him. Oh... he wants to take picture of me? Ha, okay. I'll flex for $100. Recipient Report: What do you mean I can't go back *whimper* why do I feel so strange. I'm already out of breath. Give it back! What do you mean a name change is included in the package *sob* MY NAME IS PERVUS NOW??!?! Oh. I have to take his medical practice in my shithole hometown? Oh God! I just... oh goodness, seeing it from this angle it's such a fine body. So tight and firm! At least flex for me, my boy? A little. So I can snap a few pics and... use them later. Eehehe. Oh God, what have I become?

#body swap #male body swap #male transformation #muscle theft #mind swap #body switch #permanent #young to old #old to young

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bugsbenefit · 1 year

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currently rewatching s3 and honestly... yeah no wonder Mike and Will had to be across the country in s4 for the plot to work they're too fucking good with this. even in s3 where they play a lot of plot support for El they're actually CARRYING the groups actions

s3 actually makes the difference between Mike and Will and the rest of the party Extremely clear. El, Max, and Lucas are lost at first, ranging from not taking Billy too seriously or just not knowing what to do

Mike and Will are the only one's with first hand experience. Will was possessed by the MF (Henry) and Mike sat next to him like this for over two days straight. Will has the intel and Mike has seen what possession looks and acts like up close. they KNOW what they're doing in s3 which is why they take the threat of Billy and the MF so serious so fast. even El has to ask them how possession works and how you can identify it. because despite having powers she still has no experience with this

that experience also gets highlighted in situations like the pool, where Max wants to wait and see what happens with Billy to know if he's flayed but Mike and Will know they have to act first

they know you don't wait until someone activates. the entire population of Hawkins lab was killed last time someone activated and they both witnessed it first hand. but the other's weren't there for that and don't really know how to deal with the current situation

also, Mike and Will are fully on the same page regarding the supernatural, which is why they're so efficient. Will gives his insight on the MF (Henry) and Mike immediately jumps to thinking of a proactive plan. the sauna idea took him less than 5 seconds

they would have completely fucked the plot of s4 over had they been in Hawkins i'm so serious. s3 literally shows us exactly why they couldn't be there:

Will can tell when Henry gets close (which s4 even confirms he is still able to do). had he been around in s4 he could've warned everyone if Vecna got to Max. no wondering when he's going to get you. Will would Know and he'd Tell you. they wouldn't lose time looking for Vecna in the Creel house, they wouldn't lose time scrambling to get headphones last minute

Mike is incredibly good at adapting prior knowledge to new situations which the Hakwins crew was Abysmal at. Mike can apply chemistry facts from years ago when it's convenient and can convert Will's possession into a working possession-test for Billy. but in s4 we have to suffer watching the crew remember that fire was the UD's weakness and then never use it on anyone but Vecna himself. a bottle of hairspray and a lighter could have gotten them out of being strangled by vines but they only had the clunky molotovs for Vecna. their planning methods directly contradict Mike's approach to plans

also. both of them act proactively. everyone at Hawkins lab died because they didn't stop Will in advance and s3 shows they learned from that. i honestly can't see a way for them to be on board with an "i'll be bait" plan. they directly argue against waiting for him to take action multiple times in s3. they KNOW that's how people die because it's too late when he gets here

and best of all. MIKE LITERALLY CALLS OUT WHY THE S4 PLAN DIDN'T WORK. word for word. you could paste this into s4 and pretend it's Mike berating them for the plan they just came up with

s4 makes it super clear that Mike and Will being absent is BAD with their friends directly commenting on how they're not here to help, and the last shot of the season being them returning to town speaks for itself, but s3 also directly shows us why. based on how they've dealt with the UD's/MF's return just six months before s4 shows how they would have approached something like s4. and at this point the two of them are too good of a team with too much experience to let them be around for it

(which would in universe most likely be Henry waiting for both of them to be out of the picture and out of universe be the writers putting them on the gay roadtrip in the weed van to be able to set up endgame s5 in peace without having them be in the way)

#byler #mike wheeler #will byers #those two are genuinely a scary team #even while on fighting terms they can push that away immediately and gang up on all their other friends for having bad ideas #i genuinely can't wait for the s3 problem solving byler dynamic to come back tenfold in s5

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howtofightwrite · 6 months

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I know DnD is not about realism but how accurate is having, say, your heavy armor wearing paladin have 10 dex or even negative dex? Where medieval knights built like The Rock or like The mountain? I’ve seen youtubers saying that you needed a lot of strength to be able to fight like a knight so women and smaller people couldn’t do it.

I think I know which YouTuber you're talking about, and you can pretty safely ignore them. Their personal misogyny takes priority over their (alleged) expertise when they're forming their arguments.

There's two logistical problems with the idea that you need someone like Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson to make up the bulk of your elite forces. The first problem is that they need to consume a frightening amount of food. This isn't as much of a problem in the modern era, when we have the capacity for truly staggering amounts of agricultural production. But, in a medieval society, with serfs responsible for most of the agriculture, the prospect of feeding each of your elite troops 10,000 calories a day would economically destroy most kingdoms. (And, yes, that is what Björnsson reports to consume on a daily basis. Other estimates place his dietary intake somewhere between 3600 and 8000.) And, to be clear, that is an absolutely absurd amount of food. But, if you want to build that kind of mass, you need a lot of energy, which means, a lot of food.

The second logistical problem is, there's only one of him. Okay, that's not literally true, The Mountain was portrayed by three separate actors, Conan Stevens, a professional wrestler, and Ian Whyte, a stunt actor who had previous appeared as a White Walker in the first season. But, Hafthor Bjornsson took over the role in the fourth season, and is probably who you're thinking of when you name drop the character.

Bjornsson is a member of the 2000 pound club, which include power lifters who can lift over 2000lbs combined between bench press, dead lift, and squats. Not many people ever get that far, and Bjornsson is one of the few individuals who can get into the 1000 pound club from a single lift.

Here's a fun name to know, Becca Swanson is also in the 2000 pound club. She credibly claims that she is the first woman to have achieved that, and I'm not sure if there are any other women in the 2000lb club, but it is achievable.

Now, here's the fun thing about all of this, because you're asking about D&D, and D&D players need to know exactly how much their character can lift. The calculation is (STR*30)lbs. (In the Player's handbook p174.) This also means if you have a real person, and you know how much they can lift in the real world, you can reverse engineer what their strength score would be in D&D.

It's 37.

If you wanted to convert Hafthor Bjornsson into D&D, his strength score would be 37.

Dude can fucking arm wrestle the Terrasque and easily win.

Putting that in perspective, it's a little ludicrous to say that if you want a viable martial character (fighters, paladins, barbarians, etc.), they need a Strength score of 37, when it's not normally possible for player characters to exceed 20 base strength. (If you're wondering, Becca would work out to have ~29 Strength. So, on par with most ancient dragons, and a few gods.)

So, there you have a man and woman who are both superhumanly strong according to D&D.

D&D and math have always had issues like this, and it pops up in a few different places here.

The basic concept that your ability to hit, and the amount of damage you deal is based on strength comes from a very, “schoolyard,” understanding of violence. It's okay to step back and abstract it out, where “strength,” is some amalgam of melee combat aptitude in addition to actual strength, but the idea that being stronger means you can hit harder with a sword or dagger doesn't make a lot of sense. It doesn't even make much sense with axes and maces (the force applied has more to do with the mass and velocity of the weapon, rather than the strength of its wielder.)

A paladin with negative DEX is dead. I don't mean that figuratively, and I do understand what you meant to say, but this rule is a little obscure in 5e. If any of a character's physical attributes (STR, DEX, CON) are reduced to zero, the character immediately dies. Ability draining effects used to be far more common, so the rule existed by itself, though, now it mostly shows up when you're looking at a monster with a physical ability draining attack.

What you probably meant was a negative DEX modifier, meaning your paladin is unusually clumsy. Outside the context of D&D, that would be an incredibly bad thing for a front line combatant. In the specific context of D&D, if they're in heavy armor, it doesn't really matter, if they're in medium, then it reverts to being “a bad thing. Specifically, the rules is that light and medium armor add your DEX modifier to your armor class. Medium armor caps this at +2, but it can go negative with either armor type. However, heavy armor in 5e ignores your DEX modifier entirely.

Now, here's the thing about D&D, its concept of armor is spectacularly weird. Unlike RPGs where armor reduces damage taken, either by subtracting a fixed amount from incoming damage or by reducing damage via a percentage, D&D's system is that your armor class grants you a chance to avoid being hit at all. (5% chance per point of AC, if you're wondering.) Narratively, this is often framed as taking a hit, but your armor turned the blade or something similar. This is because sometimes the enemy attack straight up misses, and that's (usually) determined by your dexterity. This is important, because the game is trying to balance two different power fantasies against each other.

On one side you have the players who want to roll in heavy plate armor, and soak all the hits, and on the other you have players who want to go with light armor, and dodge around enemy attacks. Realistically, that's not an option, but D&D permits it, and again, that's fine. The fantasy of lightly armored fighters makes a lot of sense. I'd even go so far as to say that the barbarian's unarmed defense bonus (where they add CON modifier to their DEX modifier while unarmored) is a really good change in 5e even if it does make no sense objectively. It contributes to the fantasy of this brutal fighter who runs around without armor slapping people silly with their weapons, and shrugging off damage because they're too stubborn to die. In (nearly all cases) the ability to deliver the player fantasy of a class is more important than a strict adherence to reality, and that's fine, that's the point, but the realism of D&D doesn't translate off the page in any meaningful way.

If you wanted a more, “realistic,” (and, yeah, that's incredibly loaded in this context), approach to armor for D&D, I'd say gate access based on your Constitution (or Constitution modifier). Sort of like how your equip load in Dark Souls is based on your Endurance attribute. Give armor and weapons a burden value, and if the combined burden on a character exceeds their CON, the character risks taking levels of Fatigue when they're fighting in heavier gear than they're conditioned to deal with. Maybe add a Conditioning feat or skill if you want to add some other attribute modifiers to the mix should you end up with your heavy armor fighters being underequipped. (Then again, I am one of those psychopaths who really liked the D20 Star Wars' vitality system.) So, ultimately, tinker with the balance until you find something you, and the people at your table, are happy with. Roleplayers who have more meaningful build choices tend to be happier, so long as they don't feel like they're being punished for having a character fantasy.

One of the more amusing descriptions I've read of medieval knights is that they were built like methheads. I can't fully vouch for that, because I'm not an expert on the physical appearance of medieval knights, but it's certainly credible. These guys were eating pretty well for the era, and engaged in a lot of physical activity. Depending on what they were doing, that could easily result in some fairly bulky guys, but it could also result in some wiry looking guys who hide their muscles. Just, knowing what I do about the human body, the answer was probably both, depending on their metabolism and diet. But the image of Sir Methhead, Knight of the Realm, and his implausibly clean teeth, still amuses me.

It's worth remembering that a lot of the times I've seen someone say, “they were built like athletes,” they'll drop an image of a bodybuilder. No. That's not what you would get. Bodybuilding is designed to create its own physique, one that doesn't occur unless you're abusing your body in some very specific (and unhealthy) ways. It's probably better to think of someone like a high-school football player. Bulky, but without the carved physiques of a Boris Vallejo painting. (If you don't know who that is, look up his art. It is a bit dated, but it's gorgeous.)

Alternately, if you do want your characters to look like those paintings, it is your fantasy, have fun.

-Starke

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#writing reference #writing advice #writing tips #starke answers #how to fight write #D&D #Game of Thrones #The Mountain #Hafthor Bjornsson #Yeah Dude's first name is Half-Thor #figure he earns it #I can't judge you for using Boris Vallejo art as your character tokens #I'm still using MTG card art for mine

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fatuismooches · 1 year

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How do the Harbingers spend Christmas/the holidays with their lover? What do they do with the reader?

Imagine spending Christmas with the Harbingers, set in a modern world. [I also listened to Last Christmas while writing this. Maybe that will enhance your reading.]

Pierro never had time for Christmas before. The holidays always flew by for him, since he was always so busy working. Or more like, he continued to work as there was no reason for him not to. He had no one to spend time with, so why should he take a break? That was until you slid into his life and forcibly stopped him from doing that ever again, literally scolding him for even thinking about not being home for the holidays. Though, he doesn’t really know what to do. I mean, he’s aware of what people do during these times, but do you want to do all of that? How do you celebrate? What you came to realize was that he doesn’t like to do much during the holidays. All he really wants to do is spend time with you. And so, he is content with pretty much anything you choose to do.

Really, Pierro has come to enjoy and appreciate even the very simple things that occur between the two of you, that may seem boring to others. Reading out the complicated instructions on a package or recipe, even stealing his coat in public (which he always tries to hide from the eyes of others due to embarrassment, and also not wanting others to see you.) Reading Christmas novels with you comes to be one of his favorite traditions. It may not be a typical Christmas, but it’s one with you, and that’s all that matters to Pierro.

Capitano is really amazing during the holidays. Why? Because it’s always cold and wintery and he gives the best cuddles during these times. I don’t know why but I can see him unironically liking ugly Christmas sweaters. You originally brought him one as a joke but he actually started to wear it around the house. Most of the time you don’t mind because laying on his chest with it on is very soft and nice. Capitano is also the type to just go along with whatever you say because he rarely ever argues with you, plus he has no idea how to be festive so he just follows your lead. You find this adorable since he’s usually regarded as the captain who everyone follows, but when he’s with you, he’s hovering over your shoulder trying to mimic your movements.

You handle all of the cooking and stuff along those lines. It’s not like Capitano can’t cook, but rather, every time he tries to handle the ingredients, they always get up wrangled or mashed up due to his extreme strength (he apologizes so seriously every time and you have to hold yourself back from dying of laughter.) He feels bad for not helping with anything, so you let him do the mixing and beating parts. (Do not let him crack an egg.) Though, Capitano handles all of the heavy lifting. You two always get a lot of stares in the supermarket, because there’s this tall, hulking man, trailing behind you carrying dozens of items easily, while you’re leading him around. He doesn’t even let you hold a purse or bag. Singlehandedly carries the tree up the stairs as well. Capitano comes to enjoy the holiday more than he thought. He has some stories to tell his troops now.

Dottore on Christmas is… honestly, I don’t know what to write. He is not a festive man at all, does not care about it whatsoever. He will stand there and watch you if you try to put up lights or a tree and laugh when you fail. You will not be able to convert him so I don’t suggest trying. At the very least, you can try to put on a Christmas movie. He will critique it, point out the awful cliches, the overused plot points, the corny romance, and much more. You hear more of him talking than the actual movie, but it’s the time together that matters, right?

Though, if there’s one thing he appreciates, it’s the delicious food. Zandik did not care much for the taste of food before, only viewing it as a form of sustenance, but he can’t deny that your cooking is exquisite. However, he likes to experiment a lot of course, so there have been times he added random ingredients behind your back. You don’t find out until you tasted the final product - it either tastes God-awful or surprisingly good! In general, a frequent pastime for the two of you is making a small batch of a new recipe, and Zandik throwing in whatever he thinks will somehow enhance the flavor. Either way, he is smiling maliciously and eating it since the taste does not matter much to him. Curse that maniac genius meanie. >:(

Columbina enjoys the holidays a normal amount. She really likes shopping for cute clothes for the two of you, getting Christmas drinks, eating sugar cookies and hot chocolate, and all of the other sweet things couples do around this time. Around the holidays she gets especially clingy and cuddly - it’s her way of showing how grateful she is for you. Columbina also loves to steal your sweaters too. She likes to take photos with Christmas filters with you and post them to the group chat - the ones that add Santa hats and beards, or reindeer antlers, or falling snowflakes - you name it. She likes to take photos in general - she is really photogenic, in your opinion. Even when she’s not posing, she manages to look so beautiful especially when it’s snowing.

On Christmas day it is a challenge to get yourself and her out of bed. Columbina literally holds you hostage in her arms, refusing to let your warmth leave her. She would honestly spend the day in bed with you and some snacks while watching movies if you didn’t force her to get out of bed with the promise of gifts and more cuddles later. Overall, Christmas with her is sweet and endearing. She’s always near you, likes to drape yourself over you when you’re opening your gift, and giggles in your ear. Smothers you with kisses by the time the day is up.

Arlecchino on Christmas is surprisingly sweet. You would think that she spends it alone, but in recent years, she had begun to spend the holiday in the orphanage she had opened up not long ago. Arlecchino and you always make sure that kids have delectable dinner on Christmas day. There’s always a really long table with chairs and plates for all of the dozens of kids. (They tend to fight over who gets to sit around Auntie Arlecchino and you, which secretly embarrasses her.) She is also very good at wrapping gifts. Arlecchino became a master of the skill after helping to wrap dozens of gifts for the children at her orphanage. In the days coming to the holidays, you two wrap gifts for the kids after she teaches you how to do it efficiently.

After all the kids are put to bed after an eventful day, she likes to spend some time with you on her lap near the fireplace, maybe some wine too to wind down. Arlecchino has never been a very wordy or gushy person, so it greatly surprises you when she confesses how thankful she is for you, and how she loves you very much for staying with her. (The children will never stop bringing up how they found the two of you asleep together the next day.)

Pulcinella (platonic!) has seen and experienced a variety of Christmases. He knows the dos and don’ts of how to celebrate. He knows which decorations go with each other, what theme to do this year, the kinds of food people would like the most, and more. He shows you every step of his planning, wanting you to carry on the traditions. However, the one thing he won’t teach you is his secret stash of scrumptious recipes that he refuses to give to you until he’s in his grave. You can whine all you want but he is not giving you that mac and cheese recipe.

He does not have any family left besides you so he encourages you to invite your friends over for Christmas. You invite your friend group (the Harbingers) and even though he’s seen them a few times before, he always scrutinizes them carefully to analyze who you’re hanging out with (especially Dottore - heavily on Dottore…) You all have a good time - he usually leaves you alone with your friends as he doesn’t want to intrude on your youth. But after everyone leaves, he likes to watch these old black-and-white Christmas films with you and tell you about how back in his day… *insert lots of stories and his grandpa rambling.*

Scaramouche has never cared for the holidays. He had long been estranged from his mother, having cut contact with her, therefore having no one to be with during the festive times. But Kunikuzushi declared to himself and everyone that he did not care. It didn’t bother him as he saw families shopping for the holidays, or couples getting Christmas-themed drinks together. Hmph, he couldn’t care less. Well, that was until you came into his life, and brought the holiday spirit with you. When you wake up one day, all excited and way too early for his liking, taking a bunch of utensils and cooking stuff out, retrieving oval lights he didn’t even know you had, Kuni questions you in a sleepy stupor - what the hell are you doing? After you recovered from that jaw-dropping statement, you immediately exclaim about the holidays and how you must prepare! There was no time to waste!

But Scara just rolls his eyes and slumps back into bed, confusing you. And that’s when it clicks - your lover has probably never understood the point of holidays like these, which stemmed from his lack of love and familial bonds during his upbringing. He most likely thought this was stupid and a waste of time. So you gently introduce the idea to him. You ask him to help you bake cookies (to which you have to add less sugar since he doesn’t like sweets.) He begrudgingly helps you make a small Christmas dinner, and when you teasingly throw some flour at him, he returns it ten times more. You teach him how to wrap gifts, too.

He ends up admitting that all of the activities were oddly comforting. Scaramouche opts for the more homely and loving aspect of Christmas, not caring much for the gaudy extra decorations or tree or whatever. It takes him a couple of Christmases to truly warm up, but deep down he can’t deny that spending time with you on the holidays is something he secretly looks forward to every year. Perhaps one day his mother could join the two of you. One day, maybe.

Sandrone was not very interested in the holidays either, more because she had better things to do rather than to partake in some silly little celebration. Why would she care about such things when she could be researching? Even as a child she saw it as useless, preferring to lock herself in her room doing far more productive tasks. Well, that changed when you came along, begging her to at least semi-join you in your favorite traditions. For the first time in her life, she finds herself helping you haul a small tree into your shared place and making ornaments out of her spare parts from engineering. Also, Sandrone likes to observe people on Christmas with you. Seeing people flood the stores searching for a last-minute gift, or even slip on snow, she finds it amusing and interesting.

If you’d like she would make her robots hang up the decorations instead so that you could just relax with her (she was getting a bit annoyed at how your presence was always so far away.) After spending the days with you, Sandrone finds the idea of the holidays a bit more appealing now. (She began to dress up her robots in small Christmas outfits that the two of you sewed together, like elves and reindeer. She would die of embarrassment if anyone else saw.)

La Signora gets invited to a lot of Christmas parties and always wears a new dress to each of them. Can’t be seen wearing the same outfit to an event. Though after she met you, she decided to spend less time going to these parties and spend more time with you. How, you ask? She’ll host her own party of course, with her darling lover. Signora dolls you up real good and makes sure you look absolutely stunning. She wants everyone to know that you two belong to each other, to not come near her territory. (The message comes through loud and clear.) Signora is an excellent host, but she never leaves your side for too long. Takes over uncomfortable conversations for you and watches out for any possible weirdos who try to talk to you. She makes a toast to you and praises you which everyone claps to. Even if you don’t like large gatherings, she still manages to make it feel good.

After everything is finished, she likes to spend some alone time with you. It is late in the night, but Christmas is not over yet, she reminds you. Rosalyne seems to be the type to enjoy slow dancing with you, chuckling as you step on her feet sometimes. Watching her sway her hips and twirl you around is simply enchanting. I can see her ending the night by drinking some wine and little snacks, talking until you both fall asleep.

Pantalone loves Christmas because he now had a reasonable excuse to spoil you with gifts without getting reprimanded by you. No, really, he does not hold back. The gifts are piled so high that you can barely see the Christmas tree anymore, the only thing peeking out was the star at the top. Pantalone has a list that he makes in the months coming to December. Every time you show even the slightest bit of interest in something, whether you stare at it for a second or offhandedly mention that it looks cool, it’s getting added to the list. You get items you barely remember seeing yet Pantalone’s laser memory reminds you of the exact moment of when you commented on it while he smiles proudly. You honestly probably have a whole room dedicated to the miscellaneous gifts you get from him.

Also the kind of guy who will always deeply cherish whatever you get him. He especially likes homemade gifts - he finds that idea of you going out of your way to handcraft him something so incredibly sweet. Puts it in his office so he can look at it while he’s working. Of course, Pantalone also likes to take you out to scenic spots for dinner. Shamelessly books the whole restaurant and makes sure you two get the best view, with lots of glazed snow and five-star courses.

Childe adores the holidays, mostly because he genuinely loves spending time with his family. They bring him so much joy, and when the first Christmas with you as his lover rolls around? He’s so eager and excited for you to join the tradition. Yes, he had invited to you spend Christmas with him and his family before, but that was when you two were just friends. Now it’s completely different, Childe insists. And no, there is no possibility of getting out of this. Do you have to work? Too bad, he’s personally going to your boss and politely forcing them to give you your rightfully deserved days off.

Expect to spend a lot of time with his siblings - Tonia, Anthon, and Teucer. Decorating the tree? Check. Putting up Christmas lights? Check. Ugly Christmas sweaters? Check. No matter how corny or embarrassing it is, Childe is convincing the whole family to join him. (Though it’s not very hard considering how much his siblings look up to him. They tend to comply easily.) His new, favorite tradition though? Kissing you under the mistletoe. Literally recruits his siblings to randomly place them all over the house, and even in the middle of his conversations with you. Ajax is quite devious and greedy when it comes to you.

Bonus - Poly!Harbingers: Friendsgiving with poly! Harbingers except it's for Christmas (and you all live in the same mansion.) Dottore is banned from bringing anything for obvious reasons and Columbina is too because her cooking is inedible most of the time. Childe is the best cook and makes most of the feast. I think Signora is also a good cook so she helps him too. Pantalone buys everything and Sandrone’s robots makes sure the place is decked out in the prettiest decorations. Arlecchino and Columbina cuddle you with the static of some movie in the background - Columbina is trying to feed you sweets before the feast while Arlecchino is trying to stop her. Dottore tells you about all the miserable people he’s seen so far while he laughs (typical of him.) Scaramouche disses the food despite enjoying it, nearly causing a fight. Pierro is making sure things like that don’t happen and oversees everything. Capitano struggles to do any of these delicate tasks so he kind of just stands there with you and makes sure you aren’t doing anything. Though, he puts you on his shoulders so you can place the star on top of the Christmas tree!

Even if your cooking is the most mediocre thing there, all of them will be eating it up like their last meal. The house gets very loud especially when they start passive-aggressively fighting over whose food you liked the best. They take pictures of you doing everything - by the tree, in the snow, opening gifts, catching you off guard while eating, while you’re drunk - they have a shared album of over a thousand pictures by the end of the night. (They also make sure they all receive kisses from the dozens of hidden mistletoes around the house.) It is a very good and chaotic Christmas indeed.

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thatdeadaquarius · 5 months

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@goldensunsetchild Asked:

Hello there! I know that you might be busy right now but I wanted to let you know an idea that I have, greatly inspired by your post: spanish reader who gets homesick but instead of getting depressed by it starts to do things they used to do back on their world. Dancing to their traditional dances while singing their accompanying songs, teaching the children the games they used to play when they were younger and also telling folktales to everyone who is interested in listening to. If you decide to do this idea and want to incorporate things from Costa Rica, please let me know and I'll help you with anything you need (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠✧⁠*⁠。

(Content under cut)

HELLO YES SORRY IT TOOK ME SO DAMN LONG TO GET TO THIS!! 😭 /gen

I went to Costa Rica back in highschool in 2018? I think, and when I tell you I FELL IN LOVEEEE <3333

Costa Rica is a beautiful country and everyone was really nice, vibes were immaculate 🤌 ✨

☆

Sun: Costa Rican Reader! (you/they/them)

Stars: Sumeru cast

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: None known & Trigger Warnings: alcohol usage/drinking game.

Orbit: Headcanons-ish

☆

when u first crash landed in Teyvat, people luckily recognized you from when u were a player!

and u took in whatever culture and traditions everyone was so excited to show you as they were kind enough to give u clothes/food/shelter etc.

butttt… it did get overwhelming after a few months, and u got homesick more and more often :(

after all there wasn’t really an equivalent country to Costa Rica, and you couldn’t just take a plane back home, you were stuck here for… however long it takes someone to leave a video game universe??

You decided to actually do smth abt the crippling depression and “outsider” feelings instead of just rotting away, and went to Sumeru to get closer to the greenery of your home,

it made you feel a little better, but it could be the best, so u decide to lowkey force everyone in Sumeru to convert to Costa Rican LMAO

so ofc u did the most logical thing to convert ppl to a culture, the food!

u helped fund a small restaurant full of classic Costa Rican foods (coughandsoyoucaneatitwheneveryouwantcough)

(u still have the insane mora leftover from what u had in game so ur basically one of the richest ppl in Teyvat ngl 💀)

u recreated just the basic gallo pinto/casado with what was available (some beans from Natlan and rice from Inazuma/Liyue, the Ajilenakh nut from Sumeru acc kinda acts like plantains :0 and local fish/greens for salad)

Needless to say Sumeru is fascinated by the new cuisine and esp since its not a secret that you’ve funded it/made the menu from your homeworld

Alhaitham orders the casado most of the time bc he “admires the exact proportions, its all the nutrients you need, perfectly balanced” NERDDD

Tighnari likes barbudos bc there's not a lot of egg dishes in Sumeru but there are a lot of greens, so he “likes the familiar in unique combinations!”

unsurprisingly, Cyno likes Chancelta bc he can pick it up, eat it quickly, and go on with his patrol

Collei, Kaveh (and secretly Dehya lol) really like being able to munch and snack on sugar cane, (and the plantain imitation desserts!)

(u found sugarcane deep in sumeru forests, it was like on ur world, but sweet flowers sprouted out of the stalks too!)

You decide the next phase was to introduce dances and other fun stuff!!

Nilou was literally shaking with excitement to learn the traditional dances <3 (and also getting ur permission to add fun twists or Sumeru elements to them)

the kids that like to hang around and watch the troupe practice (and join) absolutely got obsessed with swing criollo, it was so cute to watch them all pair up and kinda trip over their own feet trying the footwork out

(u may or may not have teared up bc the band learned how to play a Spanish song for u guys to dance to, just for you)

teaching the theater troupes musicians how to adapt upbeat songs like Caballito Nicoyano or Ticas Lindas

omg getting Nilou Kaveh Faruzan Cyno Dehya (and Dunyazard!) to do the calipso limonense always cheers you up, (which is why they are so eager to do it when ur feeling homesick ❤️‍🩹)

Kaveh steps on too many people’s toes, Dehya gets dizzy from the spins/turns easily, Faruzan keeps spinning for too long, Nilou and Dunyazard are actually secretly latina bc they're so good at it (did they outdo you?? no, no they couldn't possibly-)

and Cyno just really likes the little dance line everyone makes lol

speaking of the General Mahamatra

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

u CANNOT teach Cyno a new game from your home country, and expect him to NOT be the most competitive mf in Teyvat abt it

that's actually how u spread any games from back home, Cyno just does all the work for you and challenges ppl to things like jackses and no one knows what it is

which he then proceeds to strong arm them into learning and beat their asses at it

(yes Cyno wins against you a lot, sorry lmao)

You definitely had a drinking game centered around it one time and the consequences changed with each person who lost

like Cyno had to learn how to cook tamales that were edible, and more importantly..

Alhaitham had to at least attempt the swing criollo lol

(was it unfairly attractive? maybe. was watching Nilou, who was teaching him, and Alhaitham both do swing criollo 2x as attractive?? that's just for u and the Sumeru vision users to know)

SPEAKING OF ALHAITHAM

absolutely hilarious, yet also impressive?? how quickly he picked up ur slang

smug bastard picked it up based off sheer context/vibes too, u didn't even explain it to him, just u trying to go sit down in ur Costa Rican restaurant and he pulls u back before someone mows u down saying “hey, suave un toque-”

YOUR NECK FUCKING CRACKING BC U WHIPPED AROUND TO LOOK AT HIM SO FAST LMAOOO

(ngl u scared the fuck out of the poor scholar before he got all smug abt knowing slang)

accidentally spread this knowledge to other vision users bc he got in the habit of casually using it, tbh more often when ur not around lol (Alhaitham being caught having habits bc he's fond of other ppl?? never)

his favorite is “qué chante…😒 ” obv lol

so now the forest rangers use stuff like pura vida and tuanis sending each other off on patrols! Collei so cutely excited to explain to other Sumeru ppl or tourists where the words come from and what they mean, spreading ur Costa Rica agenda very well 👌

and the mahamatra like to use “Jale pa’la choza” when coming back from the desert to Sumeru city homebase! :)

ALSO bonus:

u absolutely got leyendas into the bedtime warning/ghost stories of the entirety of Sumeru children lmao

u start spooking kids like Dori (Nahida finds them fascinating)

and after awhile u notice Cyno and Dehya mentioning watching out at night for La Llorona or los cadejos 💀??

like you've genuinely made them paranoid, bc they wanna be sweethearts and protect you from them, like even if they don't believe they exist, they're worried you do and are trying to make u feel better lol <3

☆

an iced coffee? for me?? :O

Blessed be Costa Rica, such a lovely country when I went, and as soon as I got off the plane coming back the first thing I did was make a Costa Rican meal the best I could

like got my mom to prep from dry black beans and rice etc. as fresh as we could get (nowhere near costa rica level btw) and made fresh guac and fried plantain chips and salmon I think? literally cooked the first night back bc I knew I missed the food already/knew id get sick

and I was RIGHT, that food I made was fine, but any other American food so bad I got nauseous

I literally got sick COMING BACK TO THE U.S like 😨???!!! I knew it was bad but not THAT bad lmao

and the first meal I had after that was still a homecooked meal, like my mom made it💀

love the coffee from there too, we even ordered coffee from the farm we visited when I got back to US it was so good (10x better than American obv)

THANK YOU BTW GOLDEN!! FOR BEING SO PATIENT AND LOVELY TELLING ME ALL ABT COSTA RICA <3333

I hope this did some amount of justice to ur beautiful home! :)

Safe Travels Golden Child,

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/specifically this AU/fandom, please!")

♡my beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily

#genshin sagau #sagau #genshin isekai #genshin imagines #my asks #aqua asks #fuck i cant remember my tags #genshin impact #genshin impact sagau #genshin x reader #genshin x costa rican reader #costa rican reader #poc reader #gender neutral reader

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jewishconvertthings · 10 months

Text

How to Immediately Ingratiate Yourself in [Most] Jewish Communities

(*caveat that I'm an American, liberal Jew, so my experiences are not universal despite being common)

So you've just started going to shul and you're worried about fitting in with the congregation. Or, perhaps, you're moving out of the community you converted in and are worried about finding your place in a new community. Maybe you're switching shuls. Whatever the reason, you're starting in a new community and want to be accepted right away. Here are some tips for becoming a rapidly accepted fixture in the community:

If your community has a weekday minyan, go to minyan. That will show you who the real machers are in the community: the ones who make services happen regularly and who aren't shy about calling or texting people to get butts in seats. If you're Jewish, you might be Jew #10, the perennial hero of daveners everywhere. If not, you're communicating to them that possibility in the future. (No one was more excited for me to finish conversion than the minyan regulars.)

Okay but what if I'm a woman (or not halachicly male person) attending a non-egalitarian community? If it's liberal orthodox community and/or has a partnership minyan, I'd still consider going. I attended morning minyan at my Modern Orthodox shul for months before I completed my conversion because it was less awkward than going to the Conservative minyan and having to clarify that no, they still couldn't count me yet. (And I really liked the people and the post-minyan drash the rabbi would give.) They were actually delighted to have me holding up the women's side of the mechitza and welcoming in the occasional women who would come for a yahrzeit.

Do you have rhythm and/or are possessed of decently good coordination? Learn the cup song! [Tutorial] People will be very excited albeit potentially confused if it comes out that you didn't grow up going to Jewish summer camp. (I'd just tell them you saw the song on the internet and thought it looked fun.)

Are you musically talented or a semi-competant guitar player? Many communities would love to involve you in the songful parts of the service if you let leadership know.

In general, pay attention to what your community is always begging for volunteers for, especially things you can do as a non-Jew or not-quite-yet-Jew if that's your situation, and sign up for one or two things you think you'd be good at. I would say it's better to pick one thing and focus your energy on being THAT guy rather than trying to do a little of everything (voice of experience here.) Real life examples I can think of: being a greeter, arranging set-up for events, helping out with food prep such as kiddush or post-minyan bagels, running groceries to homebound congregants, delivering mishloach manot if your community does that, childcare or assisting with children's activities if you like kids, etc.

Put a fair amount of energy into remembering people's names and faces, and try to work out early who is related to whom. Bonus points if you can file away information about their lives that they tell you during your conversations with them.

If you're asked to do honors by the gabbai, try to say yes to anything you know how to do and are qualified to do halachicly. If you're not Jewish, many liberal communities will still let you open the ark or take a multi-person aliyah with someone who is Jewish, or have you read some of the contemporary English language prayers. Bonus points for if you are able to learn and perform hagbah (especially if you're left-handed/able to hagbah when the sefer Torah is heavy on the left side.)

Honestly, if you're between the ages of 18 - 35, most communities will be thrilled you're there and tripping over themselves to get you to come back. In combination with the above? You're their new best friend. If you are older than that or still a minor, they will still be very happy to have another friendly and helpful face, even if it's just that you regularly attend minyan.

Good luck and here's to becoming a beloved fixture in your new community!

#jewish convert things #convert advice #converting to judaism #jumblr

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