#but that scene where merlin talks to his mother and says “THE GODS will protect me”?

[adhd-merlin]

Christian iconography? in my Merlin??

#it's more likely than you think #ok has anyone written meta about religion in merlin or #i don't mean based on historical facts #i mean literally based on merlin canon #because i'm fascinated #they didn't dwell too much on it (for understandable reasons) #but that scene where merlin talks to his mother and says “THE GODS will protect me”? #implying they're both polytheists #whereas arthur and gaius say things like “thank god” #i'm reading too much into things again probably #i just want to know if the writers gave it some thought even if it wasn't included in the show #i don't know shit about the introduction of christianity to britain but like #isn't it roughly around this time that it was gaining predominance over paganism (5th-ish century??) #so it's possible yeah? idk idk #i just wanna know if the writers thought about any of this #or if merlin mentioning “the gods” was just a random line #merlin #bbc merlin #ramblings #merlin meta #eta: pls read added meta in the reblogs! (not mine)

[gaiussleechtank]

A while back I was writing a one-shot based on the deleted scene where Arthur gives Merlin his mother's sigil and how it basically means proposing or stuff like medieval wise.

But I watched the episode (3x01) that the scene was from and I noticed something something that just broke me a bit.

This is the episode before Lancelot dies - I havent watched Merlin in ages so bare with me - but from just watching that episode I felt so bad for lancelot.

Like, the scene where the knights are heading off to defeat the dorocha, gwens there to say goodbye to them all and when she comes to Lancelot it's no romantic send off between lovers with Gwen hoping that she'll see him again. No, she's asking him to look after Arthur. And God's you can see it in his face that he's hurt by it that she hasn't considered his safety.

And again, the knights have set up camp the night or so before facing off the dorocha, and him and Merlin are collecting wood, Merlin talks about protecting Arthur and his destiny to the Prince/regent. Once again you see lancelot's heart break, because Arthur means the most to Merlin. Not Lancelot who knows his secret.

I don't think Lancelot sacrificed himself to the veil because he's noble to the kingdom or loyal to Arthur.

It was because he knew that his death would hurt the two people he loves the most less than it would if Arthur was the one who died.

#in this essay i will #Thank you for coming to my ted talk #bbc merthur #arthur pendragon #bbc merlin #king arthur #merlin #Arwen #lancelot #Angst #merthur

[panharmonium]

you know what?

no.  absolutely not.

i already did part 1 of this post here.  i’m back again with part 2, because unfortunately the awfulness factor doesn’t stop with arthur, and as much as i adore hunith generally, this entire sequence is a MESS.

and yes, i am aware that pretty much nobody else thinks so.  every time i see this scene referenced in fandom, it is always framed as a fun, cutesy, sing-songy moment of “oooo, hunith ships merthur!”  literally every time.  

which, you know, like i always say about everything fandom-related - that’s fine.  everybody is going to enjoy things differently; you do you, and keep on having fun!  but here on my own blog, in my own space, i am gonna do me, and in this case ‘me’ involves yelling about how much i can’t stand that particular read, and how angry the end of 1.10 makes me.

disclaimer, to help folks curate their own fandom experiences: i am going to be Very Cranky for the rest of this post.  if you love this particular scene in the way i just mentioned, you will probably want to scroll on by, because this piece of meta most likely won’t be your jam.  as always, these are my personal thoughts and nobody is obligated to share them, so please do not hesitate to simply skip this post if we are on different wavelengths - instead, keep enjoying fandom in whatever way is most fun for you!

fair warning now given, off i go on a long, frustrated tirade.

i already wrote about the first half of this scene, where arthur decides that the appropriate thing to do at this particular moment is to give merlin a scolding about the evils of sorcery, despite the fact that the only reason arthur is even alive to deliver this lecture in the first place is because merlin’s ‘sorcerer’ best friend just DIED saving arthur’s life.  but sure, you know what, let’s use said best friend’s funeral to chastise merlin about how “dangerous” sorcerers are.  let’s just make that completely dickheaded decision.  

and, moving on to the second half of this scene - here’s the thing.  hunith overhears this entire conversation.  she overhears arthur telling merlin off about sorcery, in front of the burning corpse of merlin’s best friend, who is, as far as arthur knows, the ‘sorcerer’ who died saving arthur’s life.  

and yet, for some inexplicable reason, hunith still cannot get off the arthur pendragon train for two damn seconds.  

she has known arthur for less than a week.  by contrast, she has known will for his entire life.  but the instant arthur walks away, hunith sidles up next to merlin and says, “you’d better be going” - like.  okay, my god, can you try to hustle him away from his best friend’s in-progress funeral any faster?????  how about we maybe give him a second?  the pyre hasn’t even burnt down yet, and merlin hasn’t had a single second to himself since this sequence started.  he’s had to stand there and listen to arthur insult the dude who everyone is supposed to be memorializing, and then hunith - who overheard the entire thing - zips right over and tries to chivvy merlin on his way.  you’d better be going.

HELLO?!  the pyre is still roaring.  how about, instead of hassling merlin and hustling him offstage, everybody just sits down and waits for a minute.  how about they all just leave merlin alone for three everloving seconds.  

honestly, just - every time i think about this scene i get angrier.

i love hunith, and i know she’s well-intentioned.  but everything she gives merlin in this scene is the exact opposite of what he needs.  he doesn’t need to be hurried off the village green like there’s some reason he can’t stay there for the entirety of his friend’s funeral.  he doesn’t need to be pushed into going back to camelot when he is clearly struggling with the idea of leaving ealdor again.  and he absolutely does not need to be told how much someone else “needs” him right now, when he himself is the one who is having a fucking crisis and who needs someone to take care of him.

i cannot emphasize that last point enough.  it is just - beyond upsetting to me that hunith literally watches arthur shitting on merlin’s dead best friend (and, by proxy, merlin himself, since merlin is the actual sorcerer) and she still somehow thinks the right thing to do is walk over and start telling merlin how great arthur is and how arthur “needs” him and how merlin “belongs at arthur’s side.”  

i can’t stand that.  it makes me so angry.  it’s not right.  it’s not fair.  it’s damaging.  it’s the same shitty messaging that destroys merlin’s life in later seasons, this idea that he exists for someone else’s sake, the complete disregard for what he himself might want at any given moment, for what he himself might need, for the reservations he might have about this plan that other people have formulated for his life.

he is UNCOMFORTABLE when she says these things to him!  he doesn’t look at her; he shifts his gaze to arthur and the camelot squad with this grim, unconvinced expression on his face, and then he averts his eyes from her.

everything hunith tells merlin in this scene is the exact opposite of what he needs to hear.  he does not need someone to tell him how badly his services are “needed” by a man who hates the person merlin truly is, not when the only friend who ever accepted merlin’s true self has just been killed.  he does not need to be told that arthur, who is alive solely because will is dead and who only seconds ago expressed exactly zero gratitude for that sacrifice, is the person to whom merlin owes his undying loyalty.  he does not need to be shuffled off to camelot as quickly as possible, as if it would be better for him to just rush forward and forget what happened here, as if what happened here didn’t matter.  

because what happened here did matter, whether hunith and arthur find it convenient to acknowledge or not.  i have to lay this out again, because what happened to merlin in ealdor is so much more important than anybody ever seems to realize - and i do understand that, i really do (because yes, it was just one episode for us) - but we have to look at it from merlin’s perspective, not the audience’s.

will wasn’t ‘one episode’ for merlin.  

i can’t say this enough times.  i cannot say this loudly enough.

merlin, at the beginning of this show, has only ever had ONE FRIEND.

most of us can’t even imagine something like that.  

but try.  TRY.  

merlin has only ever had one friend.  he’s only ever had one friend to love him.  he only had one friend for the first two decades of his life.  he’s only been in camelot for a couple of months; he’s only known these camelot people for a couple of months, and they don’t know his real self anyhow.  and now his ONLY FRIEND, the person he’s known all his life, the only friend he ever had who knew him for who he truly was, was just violently cut down before his very eyes, whilst saving a guy who can legally have merlin murdered for just existing.  and even though merlin and will spend the entirety of 1.10 having a painful, complicated argument, will still uses his last moments on earth to tell the biggest fucking whopper of his life, in order to shield merlin from harm, taking all of the danger and infamy and condemnation upon himself.  he dies with a lie on his lips.  he dies with merlin’s hand in his hair.  

and all the while, merlin knows that this would not have happened if he had just been willing to use his magic in the first place, instead of letting his fear of discovery prompt him into allowing his neighbors to offer themselves up for the slaughter in his place.

the avalanching double-whammy of grief and guilt that merlin is suddenly slammed with at the end of this episode is almost incomprehensible in scale.

i’ve talked about this before, but again, i think it’s something we don’t generally remember: losing will is the first time merlin has ever experienced personal bereavement.  and he doesn’t get to start out with a warm-up; he goes straight to the big leagues.  this is not some trifling thing.  this is a total implosion of merlin’s world as he knows it.  

when we think about the mark this episode leaves on merlin’s life, i don’t think most of us consider the magnitude of this event deeply enough.  losing will in this way is not some one-off thing that merlin just...gets over.  this is the most earth-shattering thing that has ever happened to him, at this point in time.  it is still one of the worst things that has ever happened to him, period, even years later.  the guilt never goes away.  

and the thing that’s unique about this particular trauma is that merlin has to manage it alone.  there are other tragedies in his life where we witness him receiving support/comfort from others - freya, lancelot, balinor (though of course there are aspects to these miseries that merlin has to keep secret from other people, as well) - but with will, merlin has to do everything on his own.  he can’t get one single moment of peace at will’s funeral.  his own mother, the only person who knows what really happened, can’t help him without making everything about arthur.  and merlin can’t tell anyone else what happened, not the truth of it, because doing so would squander the gift he’s been given - will’s lie is still protecting him, years later, from arthur and morgana both.  

merlin, at the end of 1.10, is forced to navigate this grief completely alone, in the silent secrecy of his own heart.  arthur is actively making it worse.  hunith is out here singing arthur’s praises.  and will is just like - he’s suddenly not part of the conversation anymore.  he doesn’t even register on anyone’s radar.

it truly is...incredible, for me, to watch hunith overhear arthur being legitimately terrible to both merlin and the guy who just died saving merlin AND arthur’s lives, and then to see her come over and start talking about how merlin belongs at arthur’s side, how much merlin needs to be there for him, how they’re two sides of the same coin.  meanwhile, the guy who literally just lied his life away to protect merlin’s secret and who NEVER made merlin feel like he had to hide who he was and who never had any problem with magic in the first place and never made merlin feel unsafe and never treated merlin like he was less of a human being just for existing -

- he’s just burning to ash there, and hunith doesn’t even acknowledge that, despite the fact that merlin is so visibly, intently, single-mindedly focused on that funeral pyre, and so clearly in distress and in pain and NEEDING somebody.  all she can talk about is merlin’s responsibility to arthur.  

the dissonance here is baffling.  hunith has known will forever.  she met arthur less than a week ago.  she barely knows him, and what she does know is that he thinks magic-users are dangerous/evil.  she saw him being a dick to her kid.  she knows her son is having the worst day of his life.  and she still doesn’t offer a single comforting word in reference to the person who just died protecting merlin’s secret, instead choosing to wax poetic about a man whose bigotry is what merlin needed protecting from in the first place.

that...is a hot mess.  the merlin-hunith-will dynamic is one of the few things in this show that reflects less-than-stellarly on hunith’s character, however much i love her.  and even though it all stems from an overwhelming desire to keep her son safe, it doesn’t make her choices any less damaging.  she sends merlin away specifically because she finds out that will knows about his secret.  she spends 1.10 analyzing and encouraging and dissecting merlin’s relationship with arthur, when merlin’s relationship with will is the one that desperately needs attention.  she’s proven wrong about will’s trustworthiness in the most stunning, powerful way possible, and then she never even acknowledges him, instead choosing to laud the dude who literally forces merlin to live in fear of execution.

she’s merlin’s mother.  she’s the only person in his life who knows anything about what will actually meant to him.  she is his only possible resource as he tries to weather a kind of devastation that defies description.  

and she, like arthur, just barrels right on ahead and makes everything about someone else.

the cinematography choices in this scene matter.  whenever arthur or hunith tries to talk to merlin, the camera is placed on the opposite side of the fire from them, meaning the flames are always in the foreground of the frame.  they are something we are required to see and look past before we can get to anything else in the scene.  and in terms of directorial/acting decisions - merlin doesn’t take his eyes off the pyre until the end of his conversation with hunith.  not once while talking to arthur does he look away from it.

the funeral pyre is always in the foreground of the shot, because it’s in the forefront of merlin’s mind.  that is where his focus is right now.  that is what is taking up all of his attention.  that is what is edging into the frame, eating up our entire field of view.  that is what he needs help with.

but he doesn’t get any such support.  the entire sequence ends up revolving around arthur.  will’s entire funeral is about arthur fucking pendragon.  arthur inserts himself so he can talk to merlin about how evil magic is, and then hunith inserts herself so she can talk to merlin about how great arthur is.  nobody ever stops to think that maybe merlin doesn’t want to talk to anybody right this second.  merlin’s entire ‘farewell’ to the only true friend he ever had in his life is completely swallowed up by the prince of camelot, and if that isn’t a metaphor for the rest of merlin’s life, then i don’t know what is.  

i know nobody needs to hear this, because very few people are invested in this kid at the same level of embarrassing detail as me, but here it is, anyway.  

yes, will is prickly.  he’s hard to get on with.  he’s angry.  he’s bitter and snappy and uncharitable, sometimes.

but you know what?  he has every reason to be like that.  

this kid has nobody.  his own best friend’s mother - who has known him all his life - doesn’t trust him and doesn’t respect him.  she is too afraid for her own son’s safety to give will any credit.  she sends merlin away to camelot, the most violently anti-magic place in the world, because apparently, will knowing about merlin’s secret would be even more dangerous than uther pendragon’s genocidal reign.

think about how that would feel.  to hear something like that about yourself.  to be somebody who is already so goddamn alone in the world, and to have your only friend vanish without so much as a ‘see you later,’ and then to be made to feel, however indirectly, like this is somehow your fault, like you’re the liability, like you’re the untrustworthy element here.  as if you, somehow, are more dangerous than a king who literally pays to have sorcerers trafficked to him in cages.

will has every right to be upset, all the time.  he has every reason to be angry, and bitter, and hurt, all the time.  to be thought so poorly of - to be held in such low esteem - when he hasn’t done anything wrong, when he hasn’t ever done anything to earn that kind of mistrust - and to have that same misplaced suspicion used to justify separating him from the only person in the world who gives a damn about him - if it were me, i would be constantly on the verge of screaming, all the time.

will has always been on merlin’s side, and he has never done anything to endanger him, and in the end he gives up everything to make sure merlin can stay safe and hidden and unhunted.  he shouldn’t have needed to prove his goodness, his constancy, his worth; not when he’s already kept merlin’s secret for who knows how many years, but even after he does do so, it doesn’t even matter.  arthur acknowledges him only to disparage sorcery.  hunith passes him over completely in favor of praising arthur, with no acknowledgment of the misjudgment she made.

i have said before that merlin tends to befriend people who have nobody, people who’ve been left behind by the rest of the world, people who’ve been made to feel that they aren’t worthy of love.  and will, merlin’s oldest friend, was the first of those many characters, and it is so heartbreaking to me that in this instance, the same kind of disinterested and careless attitude towards his worth that dogged him all his life is perpetuated and affirmed after his death.  ‘people are used to ignoring him,’ merlin tells arthur, and merlin is right - even when will is dead and burning, arthur only sees sorcery.  hunith, who we would expect to be more sympathetic, only sees arthur.

merlin is the only one who knows better.  merlin has always known better, and he loves will so much, but he is the only one, apparently, and honestly, after will dies?  nobody else even tries to understand.

to sum up:

hunith and arthur, for all that i love them, are both way out of line at the end of this episode.  

the legacy of this experience, for merlin, is that he spends the rest of his life processing this particular trauma alone.  and that is why i always, always have to keep will and ealdor in the back of my mind when i write for merlin in any capacity - because this event isn’t some simple stumbling block for him; it changes him forever.  it teaches him what he can and can’t expect from the people around him, and it solidifies how irrelevant his own needs are when viewed in comparison with arthur’s, even to people who barely even KNOW arthur; people who are supposed to put merlin first over everything.  it teaches merlin to bury his sorrow, and to wrestle with personal suffering in secret, because if things aren’t ultimately about arthur, then they aren’t important enough to be granted any significant amount of time for merlin to deal with.  merlin’s own grief, even at his best friend’s funeral, takes too long to resolve.  arthur walks away from the pyre, and it’s time for merlin to leave, too.  you’d better be going.

bottom line: i don’t care if other people think this whole ‘ooo, everybody wants merlin to be with arthur’ thing is wonderful or beautiful or dreamily romantic.  it isn’t.  it’s ugly, and it’s cruel, and it stripped merlin of his present identity and his future potential, one stolen moment at a time.

#and that's what i have to say about that #so. #in case you all weren't already aware #will is a goddamn hero #and merlin misses him every day #the once and future slowburn #meta #no kings no masters

[duckie-baby]

let's talk about s02e08: the sins of the father.

let's talk about how this could've been a pivotal point in arthur's character arc, if the writers of this show weren't fucking cowards.

let's talk about how it was completely unfair on merlin's part to lie to arthur, because arthur deserved the truth goddamnit and it wasn't merlin's place to take that away from him.

of course, this is later justified by merlin saying that he knows arthur and that he wouldn't be able to live with himself or the guilt of it if he had gone ahead and killed his father. and of course, like every other potentially life-changing event, all of this is never mentioned by the show again.

magic is damned even further in arthur's eyes, uth*r threatens everyone who knows the truth into silence, vaguely implies that he's totally chill with his son fucking his manservant as long as they're all of the same anti-magic ideals, the episode ends in all smiles.

but whew! at least arthur's been protected from the harsher sides of reality, once again! god forbid this character gains any sense of self-awareness!

my point is, if all of this was to keep arthur from killing daddykins bc it would weigh on his delicate conscience, to preserve the Goodness Of His Character As A Man And King, why the fuck should merlin have to lie to him about it?

consider, instead of:

Morgause is lying! She's an enchantress. She tricked you. That was not your mother you saw. That was an illusion. Everything...everything your mother said to you...those were Morgause's words.

we could have had something along the lines of:

What your father did was wrong, Arthur, but is this man the man you want to be? The king you want to be? Would you be able to ascend the throne even as your father's blood glistens, still fresh, on your sword? Would you be able to live with yourself if you made this decision?

if he kills his darling father anyway, honestly, Good For Him. he has every right to. uth*r went through with a dangerous spell despite knowing the risks, then commited genocide in its name whilst lying about his reason as to why.

uth*r has commited genocide.

he is not a good king or father either, as proven several times throughout the show. he deserves no mercy, no pity.

but the choice should've been arthur's to make. this scene should've been a testament to arthur's character.

if he kills daddy dearest anyways but then feels Super Guilty about it later, we know he wouldn't have made a good king. you can't head a country when you're prone to making drastic decisions without thinking them through bc you were throwing pissy fit at the time.

so if he still goes through with it, he must not been shown to regret it.

but say he does let uth*r live. maybe for whatever love remains for the man who raised him. but he renounces him as his king, as his father.

arthur starts publicly going against his policies and decisions. bc if uth*r could have been so wrong about this alone, what else is he wrong about? arthur refuses to carry out his orders if he believes it’s against the interests of the people.

raising taxes? how about No. oh, he can’t knight commoners? just Try and stop him. he learns to trust in the counsel of merlin, gwen, morgana, people who we know interact direct directly with the citizens of camelot and want what’s best for them; builds his own circle. he routinely breaks out prisoners from the dungeons he believe have been punished unjustly.

especially the people who use magic. he openly speaks out against his father and his persecution of it.

uth*r can try and stop him, alright. but there is a clear rift in the kingdom now, two distinct factions. those who believe in the king that arthur will be, and those who believe their loyalty is still to the current monarch.

and look at these people, from the execution scene from s01e01:

look at their faces (and also hnfvbdjh colin morgan and his obscene fucking cheekbones jesus christ). they don't seem to appreciate uth*r saving them from the evils of magic much. how many of them have lost their friends and family to his crusade? how many of them remember a time when magic was still allowed in camelot and the kingdom flourished?

these people will stand with arthur pendragon.

yeah. the ones who still believe in uth*r’s authority are few and far in between. and they know where they can shove it.

arthur learns. about magic, about its history, the old religion. merlin finally reveals his magic to him, so does morgana. he goes to the druids and he falls to his knees and he begs for their forgiveness. morgause begrudgingly allies herself with him, seeing his determination to right his father’s mistakes. he still struggles with the little boy within him who just wants his only parent’s approval, sometimes. but he is slowly but surely becoming his own man.

arthur becomes king long before he takes the throne. uth*r is forced to watch, a meaningless figurehead, as everything he worked to achieve comes undone at the hands of his own son. no attempts to make the viewers sympathise with him. he is angry and miserable and wasting away and there is nothing he can do about it; and it’s exactly what he fucking deserves.

and merlin? merlin finally realises kilgharrah’s word isn’t gospel. morgana is redeemed before she ever loses herself. but they must learn to trust each other again, bc merlin left her to face her fear and self-loathing alone when she needed someone more than ever (you might be cute, merlin, but not enough to get away with THAT). he finds himself taking young sorcerers who don’t know how to control their power under his wing (gilli, daegal, oh god the endless opportunities here), including mordred. MORGAUSE TEACHING MERLIN AND MORGANA MAGIC.

he and arthur are equals now, partners in destiny; the world is theirs.

and for the love of god, give me villains whose entire personality and motivations don’t boil down to I Hate Uth*r Pendragon And Also His Son.

give me kings who are afraid of camelot’s growing power, give me bandits and slave traders who realise they have no place in arthur and merlin’s albion. give me uth*r apologists scrambling to maintain their position in court, hell, give me anarchist organisations if that’s what it takes to spice things up a little.

give me the golden age of albion we were promised.

of course, all of this requires characters acknowledging and growing from their mistakes, and making their actions have lasting consequences — so i suppose it really is a bit too much to ask of the writers.

#bbc merlin #arthur pendragon #uther pendragon #morgana #morgause #guinevere #merlin emrys #i have Several Thoughts about this #evidently #sorry this turned out so long #camelot #golden age of albion #with arthur and merlin as power husbands and high kings of albion 😌 #merthur #i support kilgharrah's rights to shut the fuck up #mordred was only baby he deserved better #knights of the round table #someone write the fanfic PLEASE #my writing #just a little #i hate this show

[pufflyhallows]

Comforting Enough

Pairing: George Weasley x reader

Request: May I request an imagine where George and the reader have been close for many years, her father being friends with the Weasley’s. The reader and George obviously have feelings for eachother, but they’ve never confessed. When Fred and George leave she is still at hogwarts, cause shes a year younger. But, the reader gets into a serious relationship with someone else, until she gets hurt or cheated on. Cut to now, where they meet again at the Burrow when Harry is being moved ? Thank u!💛

a/n: I took the movie as reference, hope you don’t mind. Also, I think it got this long because I had to go through a few events to be as close to canon as possible. Thanks again for requesting it, I loved the idea! 

Warnings: angsty, mentions of death and blood.

Word count: 4,898

********

You hugged your pillow tight and let out all the tears you had been holding during the way back to your dorm.

How could he do that to you? You had always been there for him. Always! You didn’t deserve that. No one deserved that. 

The thought of how unfair it was only made you cry even more. 

Why had he done that to you? You couldn’t understand. He said... he said he loved you. But that wasn’t love. That couldn’t be love.

The scene went through your eyes again. The sharp feeling of a knife being dug into your heart was too intense. 

It was just before the last class of the day. You had seen him at lunch, you had shared a short kiss, you had gone separate ways. A perfectly normal day.

But you heard giggles coming from the second floor girls’ lavatory on your way to the last class. You, being the Head Girl, had to go there and see if Moaning Myrtle was being teased by the students or something of the sort. You would never think that what you were about to see was your boyfriend shamelessly making out with a girl. A girl that wasn’t you. A girl that was sitting on the sinks with her legs wrapped around your boyfriend’s hips. 

You froze on the spot. You wanted to turn around and leave. You wanted to run as fast as you could, but your feet were glued to the ground. You could only watch the scene with your mouth dry.

It was only when the girl saw you and parted the kiss that you were able to turn around and run to your dorm. You guessed your boyfriend saw you leaving too, because the last thing you heard was him yelling at the girl. 

“You said no one comes here!”

And now there you were. The tears fell down so quickly, you thought they would never stop. 

Your chest felt so tight, the room so small, the bed so cold... 

But the worst part of it all was the fact that you had no one to call. You couldn’t think of a single person you could go to at that moment. There was no shoulder to cry on. Well, of course there was someone in your mind, though. But that someone wasn’t here anymore. And, God, did it hurt. 

It hurt because you knew if that someone was still here, you wouldn’t be going through that. How many times had he warned you about the boy you insisted in dating? How many letters had he sent you saying you deserved better? Saying that boy wasn’t the one for you? Saying he would hurt you?

And how many letters had you sent back saying you were the one who knew what was best for you? And that he had lost the right to say those things when he left?

One. Only one.

George didn’t write back after that. 

Your crying got even more intense as you thought about what happened between you and your best friend. You had no one to cry to anymore. You had no one to hold you until the pain went away. You had no one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your seventh year in Hogwarts was the hardest school year you had ever been through. You caught your boyfriend cheating on you with a younger girl just weeks shy of graduation, but that didn’t compare to the death of your headmaster Albus Dumbledore and the small battle that took place in Hogwarts just before that. It was the scariest moment of your life and when you truly realized you were in a war, leaving you completely lost and on the verge of despair. 

Once you were back home, you felt uncertain of your future as the fear of losing your loved ones was taking over you. 

The long weeks went by and you saw your father going out often while your mother spent her days making sure all the protection spells worked. She was starting to become obsessed with it and you were worried about her, but you didn’t know what to do. You were spending your days almost like her. Though instead of protection spells, your obsession was the news. Every day you read the news terrified of seeing a known name on the missing people list... or worse.

You wanted to do something to help, and although your father agreed you were old enough to fight, your mother always rejected the idea, keeping you home.

One day, you were surprised by the visit of Arthur Weasley. It was strange to realize that you had missed him very much. You wanted to be part of the conversation he was having with your father, but your mother kept you in the kitchen with her, saying they needed privacy.

When they were finished and Mr. Weasley left, your father had a puzzled look on his face. You wondered what they had talked about specifically, although you knew it was the war.

The next day, your father came to your room and, for your shock, said you would have to leave.

“It’s not safe enough here,” he said, holding your hand, “You’ll stay at the Burrow, with the Weasleys. I’m sure you’ll feel at home there.”

Of course you would. You had basically grown up there. 

“Yes, but what about you and mom?”

“We’ll be okay. Don’t worry,” he gave you a smile, but that didn’t stop you from worrying at all. “Arthur brought me a Portkey. You’ll use it this evening.”

“This evening?! Dad, I don’t understand. Why aren’t you coming with me?” you frowned, confused.

“Your mother and I have work to do here,” he answered with a more serious expression, “You’ll be safer there.”

“When will I see you again?” you asked, realizing you had no choice.

“Soon. Now pack what you need and be ready.”

You nodded and your father left the room. Although you didn’t quite understand why you had to leave or why you would be safer at the Burrow, you did as your father said and packed what you needed.

Soon enough you were standing at his office and staring at an old book on the floor, holding your suitcase. Both of your parents were there with you, your father’s arm around your mother’s shoulder. 

“In a minute, darling,” your father spoke.

“I love you,” your mother said, holding back tears.

“I love you too. Both of you,” you replied.

“We’ll meet again,” your father stated, refusing to take part in the farewell. He looked at his watch one more time and nodded, “Be ready.”

You took a deep breath and tightened the grip on your suitcase’s handle. 

You didn’t remember hearing your father’s signal or touching the old book. All you remembered was feeling a hook pulling you back strongly. You closed your eyes as you felt really dizzy and only opened them again once your feet were firm on the ground.

You looked around and recognized the living room you were in. It didn’t take long for you to see Mrs. Weasley rushing from the kitchen.

“Oh, Y/N! You’re just in time! Thank Merlin,” she approached you with her arms open to give you a tight hug, “Welcome, dear.”

“Thank you, aunt Molly.”

“They haven’t arrived yet. I’m waiting with Ginny,” she took the suitcase from your hand and walked towards the stairs. You followed her. “I know they still have time, but you know what a mother’s heart is like. I will only calm down when my four boys come back here safely. And Arthur, of course.”

“Um... Where are they?”

Mrs. Weasley stopped in the middle of the corridor and looked at you. 

“You don’t know?”

You shook your head.

“Your parents didn’t tell you?”

You shook your head again, slightly upset for being left out.

“Oh, well. They are moving Harry,” she continued her way to Ginny’s room, “Alastor came up with this nearly crazy plan to bring him. Insanely dangerous! I didn’t agree with it, of course, but do they listen to me? Not ever.”

“Fred and... George are there too?” you asked. It was the first time in months you said those names aloud. You felt weird, actually. And sad. Those names rolled out of your tongue as if you were talking about strangers, or at least two people you met in a different life. Either way, you felt sad.

“Yes. They are out there with Arthur, Bill and Ron. Can’t blame me for being worried, huh?”

“No, I cannot,” you shook your head, feeling worried as well, “Who else is with them?”

“Alastor, of course, along with Fleur, Remus, Nymphadora, Hagrid, Hermione, Kingsley and Mundungus.” 

You felt your worry slightly fade away as you heard those names. You would trust those people with your life if needed. Your father was friends with Mad-Eye Moody and you were well aware of his incredible reputation. But you knew you couldn’t be completely relaxed though, given the risks of the mission, and you felt your guts twirl once you thought about your friends facing Death Eaters. However, you didn’t have to worry about that, they wouldn’t have to face anyone that night, they were just moving Harry.

“Ginny?” Mrs. Weasley opened the door, allowing you to see Ginny staring at her window with her arms crossed. “Y/N is here.”

“Hey,” you waved at her. 

Ginny quickly walked up to you and hugged you almost just as tight as her mother had. 

“It’s really good to see you, Y/N,” she whispered, sounding relieved. 

“It’s good to see you too, little one,” you breathed, realizing how much you had missed her, even though you had seen each other in Hogwarts weeks before.

You had always seen Ginny as your best friend’s little sister, hence the nickname you gave her, but after she caught you crying in the Common Room at two in the morning and stayed with you until you were able to go to bed, you started seeing her as a friend. Even though you weren’t really close, she comforted you and made sure you were okay before leaving you alone again. You couldn’t expect that from many people.

“We should wait for them downstairs, girls,” Mrs. Weasley said as she placed your suitcase on the bed, “It’s almost time.”

You and Ginny went to the living room, while Mrs. Weasley decided to stay in the kitchen, where she would be closer to the entrance door.

With each and every sound you heard outside, you felt your heart sinking in. You were trying to push those thoughts away, but it was impossible. What if George didn’t come back? What if something happened to him? Of course you were worried about every single person in that mission, but... George had your heart in his hands. He had it ever since your thirteenth birthday and he would have it forever. You loved him deeply, no matter how many times you had tried to fool yourself by going out with different people and even being in a serious relationship with a boy that wasn’t good to you, which turned out hurting you badly. 

You shouldn’t have sent that letter to George. Those couldn’t be your last words to him. They won’t be, you thought. But you couldn’t stop the regret from flooding your mind as you remembered one specific part of the letter.

You don’t get to tell me who I can or can’t go out with. I know what’s best for me and if I want to go out with Pete, I will. You don’t know him like I do. 

You were embarrassed. You didn’t think you would be able to look George in the eyes now. Did he know Pete had cheated on you? Had Ginny told him? Should you ask her? Probably not. It wasn’t time for that. She was worried about truly important things at that moment.

But you couldn’t help it. You kept wondering. Was George upset with you? He didn’t write back after that letter, which meant you two hadn’t talked to each other for several months now. You missed him very much, but you had no idea of how you were going to fix things. That is, if you could fix things.

Suddenly, you heard a noise outside, the loudest in that night. You and Ginny jumped from the couch and ran to the front yard, where Mrs. Weasley welcomed Hagrid and Harry. 

Ginny ran to the boy and threw her arms around his neck. 

“Where are the others?” Mrs. Weasley asked. 

“Is no one else back?” Harry questioned. 

You shook your head, biting your lower lip nervously. 

Hagrid started explaining to Mrs. Weasley what had happened to them, while Ginny and Harry talked to each other. You wanted to give them privacy, so you followed Hagrid and Mrs. Weasley inside. 

“We didn’t stand a chance, Molly,” Hagrid said, once the three of you were in the kitchen, “The Death Eaters were waiting for us. It was an ambush.”

You felt cold in your core. The fear you had been trying to push away finally took over your entire being. You needed to sit down, or else you would fall. 

An ambush. 

“Quick! Into the house!” you heard the familiar voice of your former teacher Remus Lupin coming from the front yard. You ran to the entrance door and opened it to let the people inside. What you didn’t expect to see was George covered in blood being held by Lupin and Harry. 

“My boy!” Mrs. Weasley cried, “My boy.”

Professor Lupin and Harry laid George down on the couch. You watched it all from the kitchen door, too shocked to even breathe properly. Your hands were shaking and your core felt so cold... You didn’t know what to do. Worrying about the whole Pete situation seemed so silly and insignificant now. 

You didn’t remember seeing the others arrive, but with a blink of an eye you saw Fred kneeling down in front of George, everyone else watching with worried expressions. 

“How do you feel, Georgie?” Mrs. Weasley whispered.

George’s fingers groped for the side of his head. 

“Saintlike,” he murmured. 

“What’s wrong with him?” Fred croaked, looking terrified. “Is his mind affected?”

“Saintlike,” George repeated, opening his eyes and looking up at his brother. “You see... I’m holey, Fred, get it?”

You chuckled silently, feeling a tear roll down your cheek. But you quickly wiped it as you saw Tonks looking at you curiously. 

Fred laughed quietly. “The whole wide world of ear-related humor, and you go for ‘I’m holey’? It’s pathetic.”  

“Reckon I’m still better looking than you,” George smiled weakly. 

You smiled to yourself after hearing that. He was still the same George you had grown up with and fallen for. The same George that had taught you how to fly on a broomstick and how to play Quidditch and Exploding Snap. The same George you had shared your deepest secrets with. The same George.

You were gathering the courage to get closer to him and let him see you, but you were completely disarmed when Bill announced the bad news. 

“Mad-Eye is dead.”

The room instantly fell in silence. You could see the usual sparkle in Tonks’ eyes fading away. 

“Mundungus took one look at Voldemort and disapparated,” Bill added in a low voice. 

No one dared to say a word. Everyone seemed to be completely in shock. You didn’t move one muscle, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley shared a sad glance, Ginny looked down at her feet, Fleur got closer to Bill, Tonks placed her hand on Lupin’s and slowly every person in that room felt the reality hitting them. 

The sad atmosphere was almost unbearable, the silence deafening.

You crossed your arms above your chest in an attempt of holding yourself tight.

And it was just the beginning... 

After a while, the people in the room started leaving. Some passed by you and went to the kitchen, some went outside, others went to their own rooms... Until it was just you, Mrs. Weasley and the twins. 

George couldn’t see you from where he was, since Fred was in the way. Mrs. Weasley was caressing her son’s hair with one hand and trying to clean the blood with the other. You hesitantly approached the couch, seeing that George had his eyes closed, and touched Mrs. Weasley’s trembling hand. 

“Let me do it,” you asked softly. 

George instantly opened his eyes at the sound of your voice. You didn’t meet them as you didn’t think you were strong enough to do so. You took the handkerchief from Mrs. Weasley’s hand and told her to rest. She didn’t reject the idea and soon left the room as well, being followed by Fred, who understood the importance of that moment for you and his brother. 

You could feel George’s eyes piercing you, but you ignored them. You sat by his side on the couch and focused on his injury, softly wiping the blood with the kerchief. 

“Didn’t think I would see you tonight,” he whispered once you two were completely alone.

“And I didn’t think I would see you like this tonight,” you replied in the same volume.

“What? More handsome?” 

You smiled, finally meeting his eyes. You didn’t expect them to be so sad, though.

Your heart skipped beats as he blinked. There was so much you wanted to tell him, so much you wanted to hear from him...

“I...” you tried to say the things you were thinking, but you didn’t find the right words. It was all too crowded in your mind, and suddenly your body expressed what you were feeling in the only way it could: you started to cry. 

It was quietly and discretely, but it was still crying. You wiped the tears with the back of your hand and sniffed, trying to make it look like less than what it truly was. 

“Hey,” he said, grabbing your hand and squeezing it tightly, “I’m okay.”

“I’m so sorry, George. So sorry,” you shook your head, “I was so stupid. I’m sorry.”

George looked at you, slightly furrowing his brows. He seemed hesitant and unsure, like he was fighting a battle in his head. What you didn’t know was that that battle wasn’t new to him and he had fought it many times before. 

But when George saw you wiping one more tear, he left all that hesitation behind and let go of his uncertainty. He sat up on the couch and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you as close to him as possible. Maybe you should have been more rational than him, maybe you should have told him to lay down again. But you didn’t do that. You hugged him back and at that moment you let out everything. 

You were completely vulnerable, as you always were around him, and broke down immediately, crying like never before. It was all too much for you. And even though you felt safe in his arms, you knew that war was far from ending and that you would be really lucky if the people you loved didn’t get hurt again.

George, on the other hand, felt grateful. He was happy to be hugging you again and to be feeling your soft skin against his, even if it was such a brief touch. He felt his worries fading away, his fears disappearing, the war being reduced to a headache. Your embrace was peaceful, warm and gentle. It was perfect. And it smelled really good, like home.

“Shh, I’m here,” he whispered while he slowly stroked your hair, still holding you strongly, “I’m okay.”

“I was so scared,” you said between sobs, against the clean part of his shirt, “I thought you were-”

“Shh, it’s okay.”

“I’m sorry, George.”

“It’s okay,” he repeated. 

“I should be comforting you. Not the other way around,” you let go of him and wiped your tears once again. 

“You are here with me. You are safe. Alive,” he said, looking in your eyes, “That’s comforting enough.”

You tried to give him a smile, but your chest felt too tight for that. Instead, you reached for his face and caressed his cheek, trying desperately to let him know how much you cared for him, how much you loved him. 

“Lay down,” you whispered, realizing he was still bleeding, “I’ll put a bandage on your ear.”

“You mean my non-existent ear?” George raised an eyebrow as he laid back on the couch. 

“You’ll have two non-existent ears if you keep teasing me,” you warned, already conjuring the stuff you would need for the wound dressing. 

George smiled. “I missed you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You woke up the next morning sweating. You had a nightmare of which you couldn’t remember the exact details, but you could feel it had something to do with your parents. You rubbed your eyes and realized they were wet. Great, you had been crying in your sleep. 

You looked around noticing you were alone in Ginny’s room, which meant you were the last one to wake up. You didn’t understand why the girls had been up so early until you realized what day it was. You jumped from the bed and rushed to the bathroom to take a quick shower and get ready. It was Bill and Fleur’s wedding and you couldn’t be late. 

Fortunately, your father had told you about the wedding and you had packed a dress for the occasion. You hoped your parents would make it to the party, but you highly doubted it. 

Soon enough, you were walking down the stairs fully dressed up and entered the living room. There was no one there. You spun on your heels to go to the kitchen but stopped when you heard Ginny’s voice. 

“Zip me up, will you?”

You walked slowly to the door and looked at the kitchen’s interior, seeing Ginny and Harry in there. The girl had her dress unzipped on the back, that was facing the boy. He hesitantly walked up to her and started zipping it. 

You blushed when you realized how intimate that moment was. You were about to step back and stop creeping on them when you saw George coming in at the other side.

“’Morning,” he said, raising his cup of tea at them and completely ruining their moment. 

You sighed, but a chuckle slipped out of your mouth. Typical.

You had to do something, though. 

“Hey, George,” you greeted him as you entered the kitchen. “Oh, hey, Ginny. Harry,” you nodded at them, pretending you hadn’t seen them before. “Could you come with me, Georgie? I need your help.”

The younger twin narrowed his eyes at you but gave in, following you outside.

“Yes?” he asked once you were in the front yard, “What is it?”

“Nothing. I couldn’t let you get in their way,” you shook your head. 

He sighed deeply. “I should’ve known.”

“Probably,” you agreed, smiling.

Only at that moment George was able to actually look at you and take in what he was seeing. You looked absolutely beautiful. Like always! But this time was different. You were both older and you were basically two grown ups now. It had been a long time since he had last seen you. Your hair was slightly longer, he noticed in his mind. 

His eyes trailed down your entire figure until they curiously stopped on your left hand. Suddenly, they seemed sad, grey. 

“Is he coming?” he asked.  

You frowned. “Who?”

“Pete,” he pointed at your hand. You looked at it and saw the silver ring on your ring finger. A ring that your father had given you for your eighteenth birthday, but George didn’t know that. 

“No, he’s not,” you answered, feeling your throat tighten. “We’re not together anymore.”

Something shifted in George’s eyes and you couldn’t tell what it was. You felt your mouth slightly dry as he tucked his hands in his pockets.

“Oh,” he said, “What happened?”

“What you said it would. He hurt me,” your voice broke at the last sentence, although you weren’t going to cry. You cleared your throat, realizing the atmosphere around you two had suddenly become serious.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

“Yeah... me too,” you nodded, “I shouldn’t have pushed you away like I did. You didn’t deserve that, you were just trying to protect me.”

“Maybe I was too invasive? You had the right to react the way you did. I could’ve been mistaken, since I was mainly acting out of...”

Jealousy. Acting out of jealousy. But George wasn’t going to admit that so easily. 

“Well, I didn’t really know how to deal with the distance,” he concluded.

“Me neither. I felt so lonely in that castle, George. You have no idea,” you breathed, “But no, you weren’t mistaken.”

George nodded, looking down at his feet. Was it too selfish to admit that he was slightly glad that you weren’t with Pete anymore? He felt guilty for it, but he couldn’t avoid it. He still remembered the letter you sent him talking about Pete for the first time. He remembered feeling helpless and lost, like he couldn’t do anything to stop it. He knew Pete, the charming Ravenclaw that every girl in Hogwarts had a crush on. Of course the boy would ask you out, he would be crazy if he didn’t. But George had been almost sure it would end up with your heart broken. Pete had a reputation and it looked like you were ignoring it. 

Now, seeing that he was right and it did end up with you being hurt, he felt guilty. Guilty because he could’ve done more to protect you. He could’ve ignored your angry letter and visited you when you went home for Christmas. He could’ve been there for you more. But no. He let his pride take over him and didn’t write to you again. 

“I’m sorry to hear that, Y/N.”

“Well, it’s over now. And I’m okay. Ginny was great, I don’t know how I would have carried on if it wasn’t for her.”

“Oh, I see,” George nodded, “That’s why suddenly you decided to help her?”

You chuckled. “The only way to have a friend is to be one.”

“Yeah,” he looked down again, “I should’ve had that in mind.”

“Stop, George,” you moved closer to him, “It wasn’t your fault.”

“I should’ve been there for you.”

“I pushed you away.”

“I should’ve known better.”

“You couldn’t.”

“I love you.”

You froze.

You had said you loved each other countless times before, but it sounded so different this time. You felt it was different. You felt it had more meaning behind it. 

Or were you overreading it? 

You didn’t care.

“I love you too,” you said, hoping he would feel the same thing you felt when you heard it from him. 

The sadness you had seen in his eyes minutes before was now gone. It was replaced by a sparkle you hadn’t seen in over a year, the same sparkle he had in his eyes when his pranks worked the way he wanted.

George slowly took your hand in his and started playing with your ring.

“I-”

“George! Over here! We could use some help!” Bill waved at his brother from across the yard. You both looked at him, realizing that the men were setting the tent for the wedding. 

“I should go there,” he sighed. “Or maybe I could use my injury to stay here,” he looked at you as if he had just had the most brilliant idea. 

“No,” you chuckled, letting go of his hand, “It wouldn’t be right, they need your help.”

“I knew you would never be the same again after becoming Head Girl,” he shook his head. 

“Hey!” you protested, “You didn’t even see me in action.”

“But I’d bet a hundred galleons that it was something like this,” he smiled, “Always playing by the book, never having fun...”

“I had my fun,” you shrugged it off.

“Sure.”

“I did!”

“Okay.”

“Weasley!”

“Don’t say it too loud, otherwise everyone will answer,” he smiled, “And I don’t believe you. I don’t think you had fun without me.”

“You are so entitled, aren’t you?” you shook your head in disbelief, but your smirk contradicted your line. “Go set the tent.”

“Will you still be here when I come back?” he asked, half-joking. 

“Always,” you replied truthfully.

********

Bonus Part

#george weasley #george weasley x reader #george weasley imagine #george weasley fanfiction #george weasley fanfic #george weasley fic #george weasley angst #george weasley fluff #fred weasley #harry potter imagine #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter imagines #hogwarts #gryffindor #slytherin #ravenclaw #hufflepuff #random tag #i'm stupid

[emrysarthurpendragon]

Breath in, breath out

Merlin sat anxiously in their car. A couple of days had passed since they first met Arthur and now, they were heading to the hospital together. The lady Morgana dialled his mum and told them Arthur was alive and ready to have visitors. Still, one thing was bothering the little boy… Arthur was going to live with that woman. He hated her. He found Arthur and he wanted him to stay with them, in their domain with plenty of rooms and even ONE domestic! Since his parents told him the news, Merlin had been pouting on his sit and mumbling about life being unfair. His parent’s chatters broke the silence until they parked not far from the hospital. Merlin jumped from the vehicle and took his father’s hand from one side, his mother’s from the other. They walked together to a desk where a kind woman shows them to where Arthur’s room was. In an attempt to ease the boy’s fears, they let him stay in the children service, where Merlin stopped for a moment, next to an activity room filled with various sick kids of all ages. A teenager with long brown hair and sparkling eyes. He was playing guitar before he noticed his new spectator and wink to him.

There was music there in the derriere

Like a language that we all could understand

I remember the day that I earned my first pay

When I played in a small pick-up band

 There I spent my youth, and to tell you the truth

I was sad to leave it all behind me

For I learned about life, and I found a wife

In the town I loved so well

 Merlin blushed when the older boy knelt in front of him. Something was happening … they both felt it. Merlin wanted to cry, because he missed this boy so much … and it was stupid, because they never met!

 But when I returned, how my eyes have burned

To see how a town could be brought to its knees

By the armoured cars and the bombed-out bars

And the gas that hangs on to every breeze

Now the army’s installed by that old gas-yard wall

And the damned barbed wire gets higher and higher

With their tanks and their guns, oh my God, what have they done

To the town I loved so well

Now the music’s gone but they carry on

For their spirits been bruised, never broken

They will not forget but their hearts are set

On tomorrow and peace once again

For what’s done is done and what’s won is won

And what’s lost is lost and gone for ever

I can only pray for a bright, brand new day

In the town I love so well

 Scenes from a long-forgotten battle made him shiver and Merlin stepped back. These were from his nightmares, the one he had since forever. The ones he talked of with his grandpa Gaius, who never judge him or call him crazy. He shared them with his parents too, and they sent him to a doctor. A kind man who let him draw on many papers. The other day, he drew a big Dragon with yellow scales! His name was… Kikigarah!

“Merlin, what’s wrong?” his mother’s called and Merlin shook his head. If he started being weird again, the doctor will make him take yucky medicine. Instead, the boy smile and pointed to the musician.

“I like music! Can he play for Arthur?” he asked, and notice how the teenager chuckled when Merlin made decision without asking him first.

“Who is Arthur?” the stranger asked, standing again so he can greet young Merlin parents properly. From his place, Merlin still wondered where he met that boy before. “I’m Gwaine, I play for the kids when I don’t have school,” he explained.

 “What’s that smell?” a huge man asked, and an older Merlin stared at the direction the smell came from.

“Gwaine! Pull these feet of your back into your boots! We’re all going to die!” he yelled, throwing a rock at him.

“Ouch! It hurts!” the Gwaine from the fake world.

“Well, you hurt our noses!”

 The moment vanished. What if it were true, Merlin wondered? He had to protect Arthur from dangerous scent. Just in case. Maybe with some tissues or with a hug, so he can hide his face in his hair and smell his shampoo. His favourite with strawberries and apples!

“Arthur is my friend!” Merlin claimed, “He does not know it yet, that’s all!”

Both adults and Gwaine laughed at the claim. Still, the little boy was not done yet. Gwaine asked who Arthur was and, of course, he had a duty to be as precise as possible.

“His bad daddy killed his mummy and now, he’s hurt. But my mum and dad are nice and kiss a lot! It’s not all parents, I promise!” he said, “And Morgana killed the bad daddy, so now Arthur is safe and I want to…”

“Merlin, stop. You can’t tell these things to Gwaine. You’ll make him uncomfortable.” Balinor said. Merlin lowered his head and whispered a quick ‘sorry’. He just wanted to answer properly, and as a six-year-old, he didn’t realise some things were private. Except his parents’ bedroom. He knew not to break in when there were giggles from his parents in it. They were trying to make him a little sister, even if Merlin couldn’t fathom how laughing in a bedroom was going to help them. Maybe they did not know they had to ask Santa. Instead of rummaging his thoughts, Merlin took off when he noticed chamber number 28, where Arthur was supposedly waiting for them. With a happy squeal, Merlin pushed the door open and barely avoid colliding with Morgana. The beautiful woman laughed when she saw him but earned nothing from Merlin, except a disdainful glare.

“I don’t like you,” the child murmured. He turned his gaze to the bed, where Arthur blinked lazily. “You’re awake!” Merlin yelped, not even noticing he was the one who woke the other boy. There was a strange mask on his face, making him look like a fish but the oblivious child just ignores it as he sat on the bed.

“Hi Arthur! I’m Merlin! You remember me?”

Arthur nodded, still slightly confused. He stopped crying about his mum a couple of days ago, but he never expected to meet Merlin again. Still, he seemed more friendly than strange now, and it eased the blond orphan. Merlin acted as a friend and with no such thing as pity in his eyes.

“Dada told me you’re going to live with Morgana. If you don’t want, just tell me so I adopt you! I can! I just have to write it on a paper!”

“I… I like ‘Gana…” Arthur whispered, confused by Merlin’s words. He also felt touch by the way the brunet kindly offered to give him a new home.

“What? But … but she’s old!” Merlin pointed, like it was some huge con. Only then did he notice all the adults were staring at them with a mix of annoyance and amusement. “Can you all go outside, please? It’s between and Arthur and I! Except Gwaine, we want the music!” he ordered. The ‘olds’ laughed, not even bothered by how Merlin talked because they knew he was a good child deep inside. Gwaine took a sit next to the two six-year-old with his guitar still in hands.

“You know, kids, I think we are quite the trio,” the teenage boy laughed. “Arthur, Merlin and Gwaine, all from the round table. Do you want a song about King Arthur and his merry companions?”

“The merry companions are with Robin Hood!” the two kids corrected, exchanging a smile while Merlin cuddled with Arthur. Merlin who was always so scared around other kids most of the time, felt at home here.

“So, this is a song about King Arthur and his Queen, Guinevere.”

“I don’t like it,” Merlin pouted.

“You did not even let me start!”

“Arthur loves Merlin and Merlin loves Arthur. Like mummy and daddy,” the younger boy claimed. “Grandpa Gaius says it’s okay for boys to love boys and girls love girls. Grandpa is always right. I say Merlin and Arthur are married!”

Behind him, Arthur blushed. Merlin realized he probably think the wrong things and they both turned red while Gwaine laughed. In another life, the teenager would have teased them but now, he just shook his head and let his finger started a lullaby about a beloved King and his lands. A land of magic, with mighty knights and flying dragons. It took a minute before Merlin’s rubbed his eyes and sucked his thumb. Arthur started dozing off too, his breathing slowing down under his oxygen mask. The one he wore since he first came here and struggled to breathe with his broken ribs.

 Gwaine smiled at the two sleeping forms. Something inside him wanted to protect these children, like an older brother. Arthur, with his bruises covered body. Merlin and his good nature. With much care, the teenager left the room, where he met the adults.

“They fell asleep. I uh… I should go home. I have works to do … well … uh … goodbye?” Gwaine murmured.

“It was nice meeting you, Gwaine. Feel free to come again later,” offered the woman he thought was Arthur’s guardian. Morgana, was it?

“I will,” he promised with a bright smile.

 They were all going to meet again. Maybe not now. Maybe in a couple of weeks, months or years. He felt like something was about to happen. A change they all needed. Something about Merlin and Arthur, even if they were far too young to change the world.

#whumptober2020 #no.13 #oxygen mask #merlinbbc #fic #sfw

[iknownowmerlin]

merlin rewatch - 1x10: the moment of truth

a series of posts in which i record my thoughts and reactions as i properly watch all of bbc’s merlin for the very first time 😊

i mean truly just a fantastic episode, the ot4 at their peak

oh this motherfucker that just slapped hunith needs to go down

look at that face that’s merlin’s mother alright

merlin being protective over hunith :((

so obviously uther sucks but like i see his point

arthur’s sincere apology + him being the one who got hunith that audience with the king 🥺

“you’ll be coming back” it’s not even a question

i think this is the first of one of my absolute favourite things which is merlin smiling after arthur insults him in some way because he knows that it’s actually a sign of affection

also this scene is lovely because it’s very them but you can also tell they’re in the early stages of their relationship

merlin doesn’t have a clue what to do with a sword but he’s adorable so it’s okay

gwen’s little eyebrow raise just says ‘god it’s a good thing we’re going with him’

morgana and gwen!!! going with merlin!!! i love them so fucking much!!!!!

hmm drunk merlin? intriguing

it hadn’t really occurred to me but yeah it’s actually super impressive that merlin’s been in camelot for so little time and has gotten three people including the king’s ward and the crown freaking prince to risk their lives for his sake

“they never do” boi at least two people (and more if we’re counting dead ones) have found about your magic… and that’s just so far

merlin making a dragon in the fire like when he reveals his magic to arthur :’(

arthur coming back for merlin is just fantastic and merlin’s so excited

merlin really is useless with a sword and arthur really isn’t and i love it

he really didn’t have to come 😭 i wonder when he actually decided to go after merlin. was he already thinking about it when he was saying goodbye? did it only occur to him afterwards? did he notice morgana and gwen had gone? was he sitting alone at the castle thinking about his idiotic and clumsy servant trying to fight off a small army and surely getting hurt???

morgana sword fighting,, gorgeous

thinking about the fact that merlin had an entire life before camelot is so strange

it’s so nice to know that he had at least one friend who knew the truth about him, that he wasn’t completely alone

i don’t know what it is but i really can see merlin and will being childhood friends, it works really well for me

this bedtime chat on the floor is one of my all time favourite merthur scenes

arthur trying to understand merlin, find out more about him and his past, wanting to know if he feels he’s found a home in camelot, with him 😭

and like that fitting in line gets me because clearly merlin didn’t fit in in ealdor. he was an outcast as was his temperamental best friend. but then he ends up in camelot, where he is loved, with gwen, gaius, morgana for now, eventually all of the knights and arthur

merlin, listen to your mother!! he likes you!!

merlin casually comfortably talking about his magic 😢 WE DESERVED THIS WITH ARTHUR

gwen’s “men aren’t the only ones who can fight” i am g a y

“the same reason we did. merlin.” i can’t with this episode 😭

matthew :(

will is saying such a mix of things i agree and disagree with, listening to him talk is a rollercoaster

all of the women stepping forward HELL YES

merlin and hunith are just lovely together

love finally getting to see this side of gwen who is not here for arthur’s snobbery and i just adore arthur’s reaction

god i love gwen

merlin in chainmail and arthur helping him put it on. back to crying

can you believe merlin almost told him right there and then. oh how different the show would have been. to be fair i do think this would have been to early, they’re getting closer but they’re not quite there yet

*bradley voice* “woah sorry technicians, could you put merlin back on? we just slipped into the matrix there”

the ot4 kicking ass 👊

hell yeah will!!

hey merlin looks good with a quiff

oh sure, now arthur thinks merlin could be a sorcerer

will is such a good friend :’’( quick thinking too

HEY NOW crazy idea but here on out what if we didn’t kill all the people merlin cares most about in the world? no? anyone?

“he still is” 😭

hunith continuing to be wise af + ~ two sides of the same coin p.2~ 

and there they go, riding off into the distance :’)

#merlin #bbc merlin #merlinwatch #watchs1 #1x10 #asfdsk this episode was so good #i already knew it would be but like #so good

[epic-summaries]

Fantasy Book Review - The Warlord Chronicles by Bernard Cornwell

I’m going to only review books I liked or loved. Partly because why would I want to think more about the books I didn’t like? But mainly because I want to put some positivity in this terrible world.

The Plot

It’s King Arthur, okay Warlord Arthur because it’s a plot point that he is not a king. Bare bones plots, Derfel is a monk in the care of Queen Igraine and Bishop Samsun. Queen Igraine commissions Derfel to right of his friend Arthur. The rest of the books are the story of Arthur threw Derfel’s eyes. It starts with the birth of Mordred, the true born grandson of Uther. Before Uther’s death, Uther has some of his men, which includes his bastard son, Arthur, take an oath that they will protect the young prince. Uther dies. Britain goes to hell and Arthur goes through a lot of trouble keeping his oath. The Anglo-Saxons are attacking Britain and there are others who want the throne. Also, Merlin and Nimue want to bring back the Old Gods of Britain. And you know where it’s going eventually, because it’s Arthur. You know it’s going to end with Mordred vs Arthur (I still cried like a baby).

I have a feeling if you didn’t read the Welsh Arthur you would look at the plot and think that it was a very unique and fresh take on Arthuriana. It has some of the pop culture Arthurian stables; like the Arthur, Lancelot and Guinevere love triangle. But for the most part it takes from the Welsh and the historical annuals. The treasures of Britain is a plot point. Loholt and Arm are in the story! Culhwch is in the story. I’m very happy that the Welsh Arthuriana was getting some love. However that being said, there are still twists and turns on the way to the end of the story. Some twists and turns were good, and in Excalibur some were weird. Other than Lancelot’s character I didn’t dislike one twist on the story, though, it worked very well with the story.

There is a theme of Christianity vs Paganism which is meh to me. It was the only part I didn’t like and it’s the reason that Enemy of God was my least favourite of the books since that was an important theme of the novel.

Tone and Style

The series is written as Derfel himself is writing it years after the events of the story. Derfel is thankful a fun narrator. While I’m sure he is writing the story trying to be as unbiased as possible, his biases to come out, like whenever he talks about Lancelot. I’m glad he’s unbiased because it is entertaining. He made me laugh and he made me cry and he made me cheer and he made me boo. After some of the characters I put the narration as one of my favourite parts of the story.

Cornwell is going for a more ‘historical’ Arthur by placing him in 5th-6th century Britain. It is gritty and brutal at points. The brutal and gritty are never overwhelming because Conrwell does not forget to be hopeful and to show the good in life and people (something I wish more pieces of media would remember).

I would call the genre of this series historical low fantasy. I have no doubt that there is magic in the story but there is very little of it. For the most part, magic is just mundane tricks. .

The Characters

For a ‘historical’ Arthur it’s very weird that Kay, Bedevere and Gawain are not characters. Well, Kay is mentioned and Gawain is sacrificed then his zombie does some cool stuff in battle and not so cool stuff with Olwen.

My favourite characters are Arthur, Culwhch and Nimue (even after spoiler things happen in Book 3.)

Derfel: I’m still convinced he’s in love with Arthur. He’s my fourth or fifth favourite character.

Ceinwyn: Despite being Derfel’s common-law wife and official love interest, I don’t have much to say about her. She had her moments, like when she went eff you to Lancelot and decided marriage was not for her. She was at her best in the Winter King.

Arthur: I LOVE YOU!

Guinever: I wish I had more of you because you could have been my favourite character.

Culhwch: He’s basically Kay and I loved him.

Aelle: I didn’t mind him. He was hatable when he needed to be but he had moments where I was like okay you’re not the worse.

Lancelot: Fuck you. ‘Nough said.

Galahad: Aka the token good Christian. He’s good and pure. :)

Mordred: Brat but not in a good way. I hated him as much as Derfel wanted me to hate him.

Merlin: I have mixed feelings, because I would go from I love you and then he would say something sexist and I’m like meh.

Nimue: She’s smart, magical and great. Sure she goes crazy at the end and joins Mordred but she’s still great.

Morgan: I like her.

Samsun: I dislike him but not as much as Derfel wanted me too.

Tristan: I enjoyed him, I usually do. But he’s mainly on this list so I can say that death scene was insane. Poor Iseult. Fuck you Mark. And isn’t Tristan famous for beating someone in one on one combat? Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s something he’s famous for.

Igraine: LOL! She makes me laugh, especially when she’s like but that’s not how the bards tell it.

There are more but I don’t want this to be too long.

Conclusion

I would say The Winter King was my favourite, then Excalibur for the weirdness and lastly the Enemy of God.

When Cornwell finishes The Saxon Stories, I will be reading that series. Or maybe my mother and I will watch the Netflix show… we have to finish the Medici one.

#book review #the warlord chronicles #the winter king #enemy of god #excalibur

[amandebw]

Prompts

Stories Ideas

Akafuri - God akashi x priest furihata - Child akashi x babysitter furihata and when Akashi is older he meets Kouki again and decides that he'll be his. - Child furihata x fox demon Akashi Acelu - reincarnation au - they are soulmates and ace is a dragon - demons - gangs Kagehina - Hinata dresses up as Santa to lift Kageyama spirit and to show him what Christmas is about. Usuk - Werewolf America x vampire or warlock England - America times travels back to when England was a pirate due to one of Arthur's spells. Cue America being so confused because since when is Arthur this hot and rude? - Big brother America x child England Ereri - Possessive Levi x dense cutie named Eren - Host club snk Nalu - Demon/dragon Natsu x Lucy - Halloween demon Natsu x angel Lucy - Pirate Natsu x princess, mermaid, or peasant Lucy Russia x reincarnated Anastasia Hannigram - Will finds out - Alpha Hannibal x Omega Will - Wendigo Hannibal x Will - AU where Will's first meeting with Hannibal is when he is the Chesapeake Ripper and not Dr. Hannibal Lecter. - Demon Hannibal x Will - A/B/O dynamic where omega Will only loved one man, the Chesapeake Ripper - due to his empathy even though he's never met him- , until he meets Alpha Hannibal. They fall in love and at the end, during Will's heat, he figures out that Hannibal and the Chesapeake Ripper are the same person and finally succumbs to his own dark nature as he tells Hannibal his feelings for all of him and that he knows. - Hannibal as the Cheasapeake Ripper tries to court FBI Empath, Will Graham, by killing people that have offended him as gifts. What a delightful surprise he has when Will answers with his own murder. (Of course Will hasn't told anyone that all the dead corpses appearing are due to the Ripper and him courting and Jack thinks Will could never murder anyone due to the breakdown he fakes when he kills criminals on cases) - mafia Hannibal x Will - Will meets Hannibal for the first time without his encephalitis an it takes him about two second to realize the man in front of him is not only a killer but The Cheasapeake Ripper. Hannibal is charmed. Hartwin - Mafia boss Harry x Eggsy - Dark Harry x Eggsy - Soulmate tattoo AU where Eggsy sees Harry's tattoo when he's in a coma and is too scared to tell him they're Soulmates. When Harry gets shot by Valentine and is believed to be dead, Eggsy tells Merlin after V Day that he and Harry where Soulmates and showing him his tattoo as he cries. Cue Merlin awkwardly telling him that Harry is not dead and was on the computer watching the scene. Eggsy, remembering Harry's disappointment after their fight, runs only for Harry to run after him. - Alpha Harry who is the chief of a nomadic tribe rests at a village which he is allied to and meets Omega Eggsy. As he falls for the Omega he finds out about Eggsy's abusive step-dad and steps in (and by that we all know I mean that he viciously kills him because no one hurts his omega). Eggsy then leaves with Harry and they come back for holidays to see Daisy and Eggsy's mom. Gramander - mummy!Newt and daddy!Percy where Newt's creatures want their mummy to be happy and he seems to really like the nice man who let them stay in his house and they like him and want him to be their daddy too. Spideypool - Peter going to a convention dressed as Spider-Man and participates in a Spider-Man costume contest. Ironically, he looses to Wade who, at the end, goes to Peter to tell him his costume is pretty cool and Peter is like, "Shut up Wade, I can't believe I lost to Deadpool of all people." And Wade realizes that oh shit it's the real Spidey and he's so fuckin cute. Merthur - future au where both Merlin and Arthur are reincarnated with their memories and they meet again... While Arthur is the leader of the Round Table, the most feared mafia in England. Cue everyone with no memories of the past being so confused about why their big bad boss is so nice to this random guy who actually called him a prat. Tomarry - young Harry, after being beaten, gets teleported to the future in the middle of a battle with old Harry and Voldemort. Old Harry and Voldemort call a truce as old Harry heals young Harry as he knows exactly where all his wounds are- you don't forget the day the word Freak was engraved on you. Dumbledore tries to attack young Harry hence the truce since all magical children are precious, the only reason it was remotely acceptable for Voldemort to attack Harry was because of the prophecy. When young Harry wakes up, Voldemort finds out that this abused boy is Potter and when the child recognizes him as Tom it is revealed that Dumbledore obliviated him of his childhood memories and that he is a horcrux. - Tom and Harry love each other even if they won’t admit it and are, technically, enemies. But the thing is that Tom is really possessive of things he considers his so when another Dark Lord wannabe pops up and kidnaps Harry he finds the location and saves Harry using the excuse that Harry is his to kill, justifying his actions. Cue Harry thinking Tom is adorable for trying to excuse himself with a clearly fake lie and, before he 'escapes' Tom, he kisses him. A few months later, Tom takes over Wizarding Britain and claims Harry as his consort. - Hadrian Ciaràn Peverellus (Harry) is the son of the king of gryffindor and unknown to the Slytherin emperor becomes one of his ninjas as part of the squad the gryffindor kingdom gifts him. He goes by Ainon during that time. - Soulmates au where whatever you write on your skin appears on your other half too. Cue young abused Harry writing for help and Tom, who is either a mafia boss or a powerful politician/ceo, comes to the rescue. Then Tom dealing with the small boy who is his soulmate- and shit he doesn't know how to act with kids what is he supposed to do?- and raising Harry. - Makai Ouji Au where Harry/William (reincarnation of King ?/Solomon), Tom/Dantalion, Nagini/Mamon & Amon, Draco/Sitri, Bellatrix/Lamia, Dumbledore/Michael, Sirius/Uriel aka Kevin, Remus/S. Mathers, Luna/Isaac, Cedric/M. Swallow, - VR game, Harry has 2 avatars (one OP hero type, one crossdressing that specializes in the weirdest stuff) and meets Lord Voldemort the leader of a PK guild when he’s in his ‘girl’ avatar. - Time travel where Harry just tells everyone he s from the future and becomes the new loony love good since no one believes him... But Tom isn't quite sure that it s all lies and there's just something about Harry that draws him in. Danny Fenton x Danny Phantom - Danny was supposed to be an omega, but every ghosts are alphas. So, his human and ghost half came to an agreement and he becomes a beta. Cue Fenton and Phantom being separated and gaining their true classification and all they want is to be one again... But not necessarily to be the same person. Peter Pan - Abused Peter Pan who treats Hook like shit because he thinks that the pirate will be like all the adults he's ever known and by the time he realizes that Hook isn't like the others he's suceeded in making the pirate hate him. What happens when Hook finds out why Peter acted like an arrogant brat with him? Batman - Damian gets kidnapped and Bruce saying that he please doesn't kill him and when the kidnapper says he won't Bruce says he was talking to Damian. Random Prompt Ideas - Villains being protective of their hero. Ex: there's this new villain and he hurts the hero (The Flash, Harry Potter) and their villain (Len/Mick, Voldemort) get pissed and hurt the new villain saying that they're the only ones allowed to hurt the hero. - Villain finds out that the hero is a kid and suddenly becomes overprotective. Villain is like, "You're a kid, you should be doing homework. Go hang out with your friends." And just being a mother hen while the hero is like, "I'm a hero. Stop coddling me, I can take care of myself." - Villain is an abused teen whose parents are influential people, all his 'evil' plans were attempts to get rid of them. One day, the hero finds out when he attacks the villain and notices certain bruises and cuts that he most certainly didn't put on him. After all, what kind of hero would carve the word 'trash' into someone?

#knb #akafuri #acelu #kagehina #usuk #Ereri #hartwin #Peter pan #batman #Harry potter #Danny phantom #merthur #spideypool #gramander #Nalu #Russia

[thessaliah]

Inspired by my spectacular careless half-asleep reply. Let’s talk a little about the franchise biggest bad guys.  Spoilers you all.

Fate franchise has a series of enemies and antagonists, some memorable, some forgettable. From noble misguided fallen heroes to evil men who just want to know if they have the right of existence, to robotic aliens. The most dangerous antagonists and ultimate challenges humanity must face taking many shapes. Exactly 7 (well or maybe double of that, depending on how many of them are doubled in L and R).

These are the Beasts or 「七つの人類悪」(the Seven Humanity Evils). They all have different origins, some are born this way, some are made and ascend to this category, but seems like there's a latent trait they can bloom into this state if they gain power. While say, Velber are also dangerous,  the timelines they aren't stopped are simply trimmed out the flow of existence by the pruning phenomena. But how can you stop beings unaffected by time paradoxes and that can undo the effect of this defense mechanism should they mature and manifest fully? That’s right, Beasts when they manifest fully have serious consequences, not just on a particular timeline, but potentially all as happened with FGO.

Their threat level seems owned to the fact that Beast was originally the enemy the Servants of Fate/Prototype had to team up to defeat in Nasu's draft of the franchise. There’s seniority here. It was a concept that existed in the dawn of Fate: heroes summoned by selfish and greedy magi who twist their purpose to have them battle other heroes for their wishes - and their ambition require a sacrifice, not just fellow magi, their Servants, but also tons of people. The Grail wasn't corrupted by an external force as Nasu reinvented later in FSN,  the system itself was corrupt since the beginning (something that he touches in FGO a little - how FGO is the way Heroic Spirits should act, and not in the unnatural way of calling them forth for the sake of selfishness). 

It wasn’t that the Grail in Prototype purpose was to open the path to the Root (or to recover Third Magic) and one dumb family messed up because of a particular Servant summon, and they fooled the other participants while they did their ritual. A ritual that became messed up because it became tainted and then, the wish would result in the birth of Angra Mainyu. In Prototype, the Grail true purpose was to make the Beast born in this way, and the ritual magi think they do for a wish or to reach the Root is the honeytrap and a lie. It’s based on the idea of being the “Grail” of the Whore of Babylon: a receptacle of sins and greed, as opposed to the real Holy Grail which is no longer in the world. Ayaka, the protagonist, was the opposite of these magi, as she is a girl who cannot even make a few pigeons bleed for her sake and thus, cannot stomach to prop herself on the sacrifices of any creature, even animals. Nasu revamped this concept and added more Beasts in addition to the original one (which is now Beast VI specifically).

We know very little about why Beasts exist: are they challenges that are necessary for humanity to overcome and progress to their evolutionary endgame (which according to Roman is about abandoning the world and removing your records, iirc)? It seems likely. Their goal is always the same: they love humanity and want to save humanity, so to do this, they’ll “bear” their fangs to the human order to try to protect them in a way that does irreparable damage. Now, as of what they consider “humanity” varies. It could be just one person. While seven in number, some Beasts have an “L” and “R” side for vague reasons (coughs Nasu wanted to stretch the boss number after FGO was successful).  They are associated with a trait that is called as their ‘sin’. The known Advent of End Beasts are:

Beast I. Beast of Mercy or Pity. King of Demon Gods Goetia. First appearance: Fate/Grand Order.

Beast II. Beast of Regression. Primordial Mother of Life Tiamat. First appearance: Fate/Grand Order.

Beast III/R. Beast of Rapture or Pleasure. Demonic Bodhisattva Kiara Sessyoin. First appearance: Fate/Extra CCC, but she turns into a Beast in the CCC collaboration event.

Beast IV. Beast of Comparison. Primate Murder ‘Fou(r)’ Cath Palug. First appearance: Garden of Avalon - Fate/Grand Order (he never had an actual appearance before. Primate Murder was mentioned a few times but wasn’t a character - and he was retconned from “dog” to “squirrel/cat” mix because it’s cuter).

Beast VI/L. Beast of Greed. Beast of Revelations 666. First appearance: Fate/Prototype.

Beast VI/R. Beast of...? (probably Love). Potnia Theron. Mother Harlot* Manaka Sajyou. First appearance: Fate/Prototype.

Unknown Beasts:

Beast III/L.

Beast V.

Beast VII.  Mentioned it manifested because Beast I manifested at the end of part 1.

Whether V has an L or R side too. Candidates of Beasts or related to Beasts in some way:

Amaterasu/Nine-Tails/Tamamo/Fur Face: The original aspect, more powerful than the deity one (deities are scared of Beasts), was called a “Humanity Evil.” Similar case to Tiamat it seems where they might have been a goddess originally but later on “powered up” after losing their purpose? 

Merlin: Possessor of a skill known as “Independent Manifestation” something only Beasts possess and have a connection with Fou. In one of Arthuriana legends, Merlin was born to be the Antichrist.

「」 Shiki: Also has Independent Manifestation, but of a lower rank than Merlin’s.

Angra Mainyu: The UBW anime calls him (as the thing that was going to born from the Grail) a humanity evil (and upped him in threatening appearance and actions for the adaptation making him some giant monster thing), but FGO labels Avenger with his Bond CE as anti-Beast. Because All world’s evil isn’t the same kind of “evil” of them, it’s an evil of human collective. So “another word for humanity.” Maybe there’s a difference between Angra the Servant and Angra the wish from the Grail result.  

Nero: Nero has been planned to be Mother Harlot in CCC drafts but Manaka already claimed that title as for Fragments. They are connected, nonetheless (see their hanafuda scene). Manaka has a power that allows her to possess bodies. Nero has a mysterious darker side that seems to manifest when she gets migraines and is “out of sorts”. (*) 

BB: BB isn’t a Beast herself, but she has the potential to be a new Humanity Evil although seems like she isn’t one of the “chosen ones”. This is because she, through her hacking, absorbed some skills from Beasts such as Ten Crowns and Potnia Theron. Her modus operandi used to fit right with the Beast’s “love” for humanity that could obliterate them. 

Solomon: Yes, Solomon is a Grand Servant, a Beast Nemesis, but so is Merlin. We can’t forget that Goetia became a Beast not because he is a hive of demons (he was one before Solomon died and he wasn’t a Beast) or because he wielded humanity’s incinerated history. He seemly became one because he possessed Solomon’s dead body and acquired his some of his power and authority. Beasts come in pairs, sometimes. I’ve seen a few Japanese fans speculate it doesn’t mean their other half is a Beast, just that they have a companion they have a close connection to. So Fou-Merlin and Goetia-Solomon could be the potential halves of I and IV.

#fate grand order #fate stay night #fate prototype #beasts #humanity evil #meta #infodump #lore #will edit when we get more info #spoilers #fate spoilers

[blogmaria333ph]

Slight Differences, A Few Changes

Chapter 1: Arrival

→ Forest ←

“-erlin…”

He could feel hands on his skin. Hands that burned him with patterns.

Marking him…

Branding him…

“Me...lin…!”

He could hear laughing voices, mocking him. Claiming to be his owners…

Claiming the right to use him whenever they want…

“-ke up… Please…! Merlin!”

He startled awake, gasping as though he had been denied the right to breathe. He looked around in a panic, taking in his surroundings. Catheryn didn’t move to hold him, but she did not move away from him either.

“We’ll be in Camelot soon, as long as we keep the same pace. They patrol this area of the forest at night, apparently.” she spoke in an attempt to calm him down. Her deep blue eyes closed and her face adopted a look of frustration. “Honestly, though. Who goes about patrolling with beaters, of all people! They were so loud, right Merlin?”

Merlin laughed at the young girl’s words. Honestly, he doubted they would ever take beaters on patrol, but Catheryn was trying to calm him down. The least he could do was show some appreciation. He thought back to her first two statements.

Right.

They were in the forest, just half a day’s walk from Camelot, the city where his mother’s friend lived and worked. They had left his village and were now walking straight into what may or may not be a perpetual death trap…

Two peasants, with magic, heading for a city that bans magic…

Merlin stared off into the forest behind Catheryn, light blue eyes gaining specks of gold.

“Merlin?”

He looked her way, the gold no longer visible in his eyes. Catheryn gave him a worried and guilty look. You shouldn't have mentioned Camelot yet, stupid! He's just woken from a nightmare! She thought, recalling instances when his magic would lash out in a panic.

Merlin frowned at her expression, thinking she felt responsible for his nightmares.

I’ve no idea why she feels guilty. She’s only twelve, for goodness sake! Even though she was there to see, she was… He attempted to shake those memories from his mind’s eye. Catheryn had only been ten that time. Whether she was bound or not, she was not at fault for what happened.

“Let's go. We still have quite a bit of land to cover.” He spoke in a mischievous tone, chuckling as his surrogate sister smiled at him. They cracked little jokes and chuckles as they walked on. By the time they reached the city’s gates, the sun had begun to set, giving the sky a light orange hue.

→ Camelot ←

Upon reaching the city, they stopped outside the gates for a while, admiring the beauty of the place. The castle and it's towers seemed to watch over the area. People were bustling about in the market.

It looks so peaceful… Catheryn thought, brushing strands of long blond hair out of her eyes. I hope Merlin and I will finally be able to move on here. She watched her brother in all but blood from the corner of her eyes before attempting to stifle a giggle. “M-Merlin… the y-yellow leaves... do-on’t suit y-you… the-ey are  co-contra-asting with yo-your hair…!” she burst into laughter when he sent her a withering look.

He reached up to pluck a leaf from his raven black hair and chuckled himself. “I was right! You've spent far too much time with Will!” He announced in an amused tone before heading through the gates, Catheryn following a few steps behind him.

“You were the one who told me to spend time with him.” She said with an innocent look, though mischief shone in her eyes.

They talked and laughed as they headed for the courtyard, where it seems quite a bit of people had flocked to for some reason. Soon enough, the reason became clear as a man was lead to the executioner to be beheaded. The King of Camelot stood on the balcony of the castle, dressed in fine clothes, his red cape fluttered in the soft breeze.

“Let this serve as a lesson to all.”  He addressed the people in a seemingly cold voice, as though he’d rehearsed the lines many times before delivering them. “This man, Thomas James Collins, is adjudged guilty of conspiring to use enchantments and magic.”

Catheryn instinctively reached for Merlin’s right arm. She knew how much this could easily incur a panic attack. Even though they’d both heard of it already, it was different seeing it for themselves…

“... And, pursuant to the laws of Camelot, I, Uther Pendragon, have decreed that such practices are banned on penalty of death.”

Merlin could have sworn his heart froze, as his earlier doubts resurfaced. What if I slip up…? What would happen to Catheryn…? Would he really execute me or… He shuddered at the possibilities and wasn't sure whether he liked the King's final words on the matter or not…

“I pride myself as a fair and just king, but for the crime of sorcery, there is but one sentence I can pass.” the King gave the signal for the executioner to do the deed. Most people could not bear to watch the act, so they’d turned their heads away. Nonetheless, it was a swift end.

“When I came to this land, this kingdom was mired in chaos, but with the people's help magic was driven from the realm. So I declare a festival to celebrate twenty years since the Great Dragon was captured and Camelot freed from the evil of sorcery. Let the celebrations begin.”

“Merlin…” Catheryn tightened her hold on his arm. “Let's go find Gaius now, yeah?”

“Yes. Yes, let's go.”

Just as they went on their way, a commotion happened. The mother of executed sorcerer came out, wailing. “There is only one evil in this land, and it is not magic! It is you! With your hatred and your ignorance! You took my son!”

Merlin couldn't see what good her words were. He had no doubt her hatred of the King was just as strong.

“And I promise you, before these celebrations are over, you will share my tears. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a son for a son.”

“Seize her!” The King ordered his guards and knights, but she vanished in a swirl of wind and dust.

An eye for an eye? What can be exchanged for dignity, then? Nothing... Catheryn thought as she and Merlin went on to find the Court Physician. They made their way into the palace where Merlin asked a guard for directions. The guard directed them up a quiet flight of stairs.

“What’s wrong?” Catheryn asked, worried by the silence that seemed to envelop them all of a sudden. “Merlin… I’m right here. I want to help you…” she was beginning to feel a ripple of magic and she glanced around to be sure that no one was in the vicinity.

Merlin’s eyes had turned gold when she looked at him again. He's panicking. Have to calm him down. She thought, hiding her worry underneath a kind, gentle image. “Emrys… Please… We will be fine here. No one can hurt us.”

Almost reluctantly, the magic faded away and Merlin came back to his senses. His face paled upon realizing where they were, eyes wide in fear. “Cath?” he was shaking, looking every bit a scared and cornered man.

“It’s alright.” Catheryn moved to hug him. “Gaius’ chambers are just up ahead. Shall we go?” She gently lead helped him refocus on their surroundings, coaxing him to move upstairs. 

→ The Physician’s Chambers ←

Upon entering the room, they were met with a scene. An old man, Gaius, they’d learned, had been looking for something in the higher shelves, but the wooden railing along the spiral staircase broke and he fell.

Merlin reacted on instinct and the world beyond the two magic users seemed to pause. Catheryn pointed to their left. “There’s a bed over there.” she told him before watching as he moved the bed with his magic. When time flowed normally once more, the old man landed straight on the soft mattress and pillow rather than the floor.

The man hurriedly turned towards them, mouth slightly opened for a few moments, before he asked, “What did you just do?”

} Gaius’ Point Of View {

They were silent for a while before the little girl answered me in a factual manner. “My brother saved your life.” her eyes held a promise of vengeance, most likely should anything happen to her brother. I studied them for awhile before saying, “If anyone had seen that…” but I stopped at the unmistakable tremors.

The young man seemed to be panicking and I believed I could understand why. “I know what it was.” I said, hoping to calm him before his magic burst out. Magic usually goes uncontrolled when one is in a panic. “I just want to know where you learned how to do it.”

“No-nowhere! I swear…!”

“Where did you study?... Answer me!”

“Merlin did not study anywhere!” the little girl almost shouted at me, though my thoughts had just registered the name. “He could use it since birth. He never had to learn anything.” her eyes narrowed at me, and such cold eyes she had at the moment.

“I see. Just one last question.” the girl tensed at my words, she seems quite protective. “Are you Hunith’s son?” the young man nodded at me, looking quite wary. “No worries. Just be careful not to let others see.”

} End of Gaius’ Point of View {

Merlin felt himself sag at Gaius’ words. “Th-thank you, Gaius.” he felt very much relieved for both his sake and Catheryn’s. He had no idea what he would have done if Gaius reacted badly and handed him to the King.

“Well, you better place your things in the room upstairs.” Gaius pointed them to what looked to be a storage-room-turned-bedroom. “Gaius.” Catheryn called out as Merlin took their bags upstairs. “Here’s a letter from Hunith.” She handed the man an envelope before following her brother.

Gaius sat at his desk before reading the letter.

“Dear Gaius, I turn to you for we feel lost and don't know who to trust. It is our wish that Merlin and Catheryn could finally move on from a certain ordeal and that they may gain more control over their gifts. Ours is a small village and they are certainly not feeling any better or safer here. We fear what might happen should they stay. They need a hand to hold, a voice to guide, someone that might help them, Merlin especially, find a purpose for themselves. I beg you, if you understand a mother's love for children, whether hers or not, keep them safe, and may the gods shield you all.”

→ Griffon Landing ← 

“Morgana?” the King addressed his ward, who was looking gravely out the window, eyes resting on the courtyard. The young lady’s sorrow filled blue eyes looked from the executioner’s block to the king. “I’m not as heartless as you, Uther.” she spoke, her arms were crossed over her chest and her hands were closed tightly around her elbows.

“Heartless?” he asked, barely holding back his fury at being accused as such. “I have brought peace and justice to this land!”

“By killing people who have not hurt anyone? Oh yes. How honorable of you.” Morgana rolled her eyes as she spoke, thinking of how hurt the man’s friends and family would be. She sympathized with the man’s mother, whose  grief and anger would no doubt turn into hatred soon.

“You were not around twenty years ago. You do not know the cruelty and despair magic has brought to these lands!”

“How long will you be punishing people for something that happened so long ago?!”

“Until they see that there is no room for magic in my kingdom!” He turned around and began walking away at this point. “You will join us in our festivities tonight. If you can’t respect me, at least respect our finest singer.” He could only just keep the fury from his voice.

Morgana clicked her tongue before shouting after him. “You know, the more brutal you are, the more enemies you’ll make!”

#bbc merlin #implied past abuse #fanfic #merlin #gaius #morgana #uther #fanfiction #ofc catheryn #sdafc

[epic-summaries]

GOT Rant

Okay, so I rewatched Endgame last night and my mind has been fuming about Games of Thrones since Sunday. Endgame reminded me that I seriously just want Dany to burn all of King's Landing and maybe all of Westeros when she’s at it. While in Avengers I want them to bring back everyone. Why do I feel like this?

Maybe I just want to vent my feelings out because it’s Wednesday and I’m still mad about last week’s episode of GOT. It’s bothering me that I’m still mad about it. Hopefully this helps give me piece.

I think I found the answer to my own question and it’s all about the ‘smallfolk/non-superhero public/peasant?/little people/background characters’. (And partly characters are being used to forward the plot, like D&D wants to get this over with as soon as possible. Which they do want this to be over.)

I remember in Spider-Man Homecoming when Peter was walking/swinging around his neighbourhood and you got lines from the neighbourhood community. They were kind or normal. Some of them had bad days while others like Flash was a dick but he was not malicious. In the first Avengers in Germany, you have that one man who stood up to Loki. In Ant-Man, his ex and her family are extremely nice. In Ant-Man and the Wasp, Jimmy and his government agents are antagonistic but still just normal people doing their jobs (not like literal Nazis Hydra.) There are evil people, like Thanos or Red Skull or Ego, however they are not the norm. Also, people who are dicks do do heroic things and grow (and entertaining), Hank Pym and most of the Guardians.

Let’s compare that to GOT (I want to stress that this a show only complaint and not a complaint about the books). I am having trouble thinking about good people who are also smallfolk from Westeros (we are not talking about Essos). Any smallfolk I think about are from seasons which kept with the books (when D&D cared about the show). There’s Arya’s gang in the second season. Hot pie becomes a baker. Good for him. They start out as dicks but they get better. Then most of them die (but that’s from the books). Ummm. You have group of Ed Sheeran soldiers. There was that father and little girl that Arya and the Hound meet. Then they die. The Wildlings are more calmed down then the books, less rape and violence. Then most of them die. They aren’t even Westerosi citizens.

What did we learn in the first episode and first scene of the season 8 of GOT? The smallfolk hates foreigners. They look at them with disgust.

I know in the books there is a sense of xenophobia from the Northern but Northerners are also seen as lesser by Southerners. It’s more like a family group trying to stay together to protect each other because no one else will (that’s my general interpretation at least, there are actual racist people too). D&D wants to you feel for the North, they want to show them as the victims, they have been through Robb’s war and the Boltons and now they have an army of the undead coming for them. They are the underdogs, and we love the Starks. But everyone is an asshole to Dany’s army because they are not from here. Who cares that she doesn’t have to be here fighting for you racist assholes. D&D if you wanted to make me feel for the Northern don’t make them racist because in this political climate it will push me away. Dany lost her best friend and biggest supporter who was a Northerner btw (though them not liking Jorah would have made sense to me), she lost most of her army but are you grateful? No. She’s not one of us. (I’m going to have one of us from Lion King 2 stuck in my head now.) They forgave Theon for burning Winterfell and murdering most of the population in Winterfell (Theon’s redemption arc isn’t the point of this rant, just how other people react to it). He betrayed them after they let him in. What happened to betraying guest right as one of the worse crimes one can commit? Jaime is fine? He was one of the reasons your beloved Ned was murdered. But Brienne and Sansa are cool with him, so they are cool with Jaime.

(Sure the North Remembers. If only the Manderlys were in the show.)

I get you want your independence but Dany fought for you and sacrificed for you. But naw the only one who gives her any kindness is Missandei in the crypts. Opinions didn’t change after the battle where her dragon killed more people and they stayed dead because fire is the only way the undead stays dead. But who gives a fuck because she or her army are not from around here.

Now, Kings Landing. Maybe the whores are good, they haven’t done anything other then spy for Littlefinger. But other then that? Davos and Gendry are the only Kings Landing smallfolk that have shown any kindness which I can remember. (I’m coming to the remember point a little later.) The problem with Gendry is that I get Thomas Mallory’s Sir Tors feelings from him. When Guinevere and Arthur are married Tors come to the wedding and asks if could be a knight, but he was raised by peasants. But wait Merlin says that Sir Tors is the son of King Pellinore when Sir Pellinore raped Tors’ mother. So, that means Tors is a royal bastard meaning he is automatically better than everyone else, like Gendry bastard of Robert. Davos is a nice exception but he’s a book character and not an invention by the show, so is Gendry. Point being, the two named good Kings Landing characters are from the books. Then, I’m reminded for Sodom and Gomorrah. This is the run down of the story. Sodom and Gomorrah are terrible sinful cities and God/Yahweh/Allah wants to destroy it because the people are just that terrible. Abraham finds out then makes a deal with God. If Abraham can find a hundred good people in the city, God will save the city. Then, the number falls fifty and ends at 10. But only Lot and his family is worthy of saving. Sodom and Gomorrah are destroyed. Point being, Kings Landing is Sodom or Gomorrah. They riot, they rape, and are just terrible. We are told they hate Cersei but do they still hate her? I don’t know. We haven’t been shown that they hate her since she took the crown.

In the end, I can’t remember any good smallfolks (who survive and are show only) in GOT and that’s the biggest problem. I have no sympathy for them because the examples I think about are of terrible people or exceptions and almost all nameless. The only time this season you show the smallfolk is to tell me that they are racist which makes them unsympathetic to me. D&D keeps telling me Dany is crazy. Yet she has been rejected or betrayed by everyone in Westeros and the only person alive who hasn’t betrayed her is Greyworm. (A Targaryen alone in the world is a sad thing indeed.) (Sure she did burn the Tarlys but doing something one time does not make someone crazy.) I don’t care about the smallfolks and that’s the problem.

Dany, Dracarys.

#got #game of thrones #dany targaryen #daenerys targaryen #rant #i actually feel better now that i have my thoughts sorted out #marvel #endgame #no endgame spoilers