#but... that's Slightly Outside my budget for now -_-

[viiridiangreen]

RARE TECH-RELATED VIRI W

i was gonna Fucking Lose It if these were gone tbh.

#viitalks #i know i need a better solution lol #bc my art to-do being stuck in an uncaring corporation's mitts is. Not Ideal #like either stop being a fucking Image Hoarder (HOW??? I'M A SELF TAUGHT VISUAL ARTIST WITH ANXIETY?) #or invest in a bigass multiTB drive just as an inspiration bank #but... that's Slightly Outside my budget for now -_- #and the site in general is a cesspool of unattributed low res work. i don't use it as much these days but idk a faster way to save shit- #from the browser of any device i happen to be on #that doesn't annihilate my storage #also i made my account as a teenager and i wouldn't want to lose the time capsule aspect of it either #just one more problem to throw money at if i ever come by it i guess. lmao #like... the irony of this scare is great too. like #i only got flagged for spam bc i was using an automated tool to slowly pin one image a minute off of my weheartit collections #bc weheartit is going DOWN like it's shutting down & deleting everyone's shit #and those are MORE nostalgic bc i used WHI more than pinterest in my mid teens #like..... #yeah. #there's stuff i actively wanna revisit #related to like. Deviantart Adoptable Critters #but also like early identity development lmao i. identified rly strongly with my silly misattributed unlawfully reposted images #like if i put anything up in my childhood bedroom walls it'd get Scrutinised and Destroyed #so... it was my version of cringefail teen posters #made even dearer by the need to hide them from fundie abusers #so............ #idk i'm prolly unhealthily attached to these things but #there's gotta be a way to unfuck the situation & still keep like #the adult improving artist version of reference image treasure troves #idk lol

[theemporium]

Daniel knowing the exact mood you’re in when you turn up at the paddock based on what you’re wearing

thank you for requesting!🖤requests are still open for daniel and other drivers too

part two

.

No one could read you the way Daniel could, and it was an enigma that baffled the paddock time and time again.

You were blessed enough to have spent the majority of your career in Formula One with a team like Red Bull Racing, one of the high end teams with big budgets and big dreams. You worked with the engineering team, proud to work with the genius minds that put together the car that had been dominating the Formula One seasons over the last few years with ease. And you got along with most of your team happily, but no one understood you the way Daniel did. 

“Hiya, sunshine,” Daniel saddled up beside you once you made your way through the barrier, making your way towards the Red Bull motorhome for a meeting with the other engineers. “How’s my favourite girl?”

But the question was almost rhetorical. 

Daniel had watched you arriving at the paddock, watched you get out of the taxi that brought you with your shades still on and your head looking down as you tried to make your way through security as fast as you could. To anyone else, you were just in some normal team member attire with some tan trousers and a branded hoodie.

But he knew that hoodie. 

It was a little too big on you and it almost engulfed you. It was a little worn down and the edges of the sleeves were a little frayed after so many wears and washes. He knew, without a doubt, you’d be wearing your assigned Red Bull polo underneath. 

To the rest of the team, it was just a normal day for you. To the rest of the team, you were just showing up to work, ready for meetings back to back as the rest of the paddock enjoyed the havoc of media day and the upcoming grand prix to take place that weekend.

But the hoodie told Daniel everything he needed to know on that Thursday morning. The hoodie told him everything because it was his hoodie, the one he let you borrow a few months ago and one that had been a comfort ever since.

“Favourite?” you questioned, your brows slightly furrowed together, but the Aussie just smiled brightly at you in response. You tried not to think about the way your chest tightening in response. 

“Top of the list, sunshine,” Daniel grinned before finally pulling his hand out from behind his back, holding out a steaming cup of fresh coffee from the catering team. “Top of the list gets you some privileges.”

Your face softened as you took the cup. “Is this—”

“Don’t insult me, I know your order by now,” Daniel teased, lightly nudging you with his arm before you looked up at him.

“Thank you,” you murmured in a softer voice, giving him a smile before you leaned up to kiss his cheek as a further thanks.

“Anytime, sunshine,” he murmured back, and the two of you stopped outside the motorhome, where other team members were undoubtedly watching and eavesdropping. “You got a long day ahead?” 

He watched as your shoulders tensed a little, your eyes a little bleary as you nodded. “Just a few meetings, should be fine,” you told him, though your eyes told a different story.

“How about you go use that big brain of yours,” he started, tapping your forehead and grinning slightly when you let out a noise that almost sounded like a laugh. “To get me a fast car this weekend and then use my driver’s room to take a nap afterwards?” 

You blinked. “Daniel—”

“You look like you need a few more hours, sunshine, I don’t need you overworking yourself,” he murmured, a little more sternly this time before he wrapped his arms around you, this time letting his body engulf you rather than just his hoodie.

“M’sorry,” you mumbled into his chest but he just shook his head, leaning down to drop a kiss at the top of your head.

“Don’t need you to apologise,” Daniel whispered before he pulled back, grinning down at you. “Now go be a smartypants f’me, sunshine. And eat something, please.”

“I’ll stop by the catering at some point,” you told him.

He shot you a look.

“Fine, I’ll stop by now,” you said before giving him a shy smile. “Thank you, again.”

“Anytime, sunshine.”

He watched you walk through the motorhome doors, happy to see you make your way towards the small buffet table the team had set up for breakfast bits and pieces, and grab a croissant before you made your way towards the meeting rooms. He didn’t even notice Max approaching him until the Dutchman was right beside him, watching the same scene with a confused expression on his face.

“What was that all about?” Max questioned, looking between your retreating figure and then his teammate.

“Nothing,” he said with a shrug. “She just needed a little pick me up, that’s all.”

His frown deepened. “How did you know that?”

“The hoodie,” Daniel stated like it was obvious.

Max blinked at his friend, looking somewhat incredulous. “The hoodie?” 

“The hoodie,” he confirmed with a nod, turning to look at Max with a grin. 

“Just like it was the purple raincoat last time,” Max replied with a scoff.

“Exactly!” Daniel grinned.

But Max just rolled his eyes, shaking his head as he did so. “You’re fucking whipped, mate. Put us all out of our misery and tell her, please. Now come on, you’ve got a conference to get to, lover boy.”

.

#daniel ricciardo #formula one #f1 #daniel ricciardo x reader #daniel ricciardo x you #daniel ricciardo x y/n #daniel ricciardo fic #daniel ricciardo one shot #formula one x reader #formula one x you #formula one x y/n #formula one fic #formula one one shot #f1 x reader #f1 x you #f1 x y/n #f1 fic #f1 one shot

[msafterhours]

Two Hands

Male Reader x woo!ah! & EL7Z UP Nana (Nayeon)

~25k words

“We should do this more often,” Nayeon murmurs into your chest.

“I mean, sure, I’d be happy to come support your group any time I’m not—”

“No, not that!” she exclaims, giggling slightly as she pulls away just enough to look up at you.  “I mean this.”

And she pulls you in even tighter, leaving you short of breath in more ways than one.

Nights like this make you wish the world was a bit kinder to you.  You’re bundled under multitudes of layers of thick clothes, thin mask and scarf completing your near head to toe coverage, yet you still can’t seem to keep your teeth from chattering incessantly.  Your efforts manage to preserve some of your warmth, but another shiver reminds you of the urgent need to get inside and get some food inside of you.  It’s really, really cold outside.

Thus, you swear the gleaming gates of heaven themselves stand before you when you catch a glimpse of the bright lights of your favorite little ramen shop.  Fighting against the harsh winter air, you trudge through the icy slush, cursing the severity of the snowstorm and the stupidity of your decision to splurge on a new pair of casual shoes instead of investing in more functional footwear.  It’s really, really cold outside.

A sigh of relief escapes your lips as you open the door and feel the warm embrace of the heated air, but your solace is swiftly supplanted by dread as you look around and notice that the shop’s well over full capacity, with little if any seating room available.

"Whatever, let's just get in line and hope for the best," you think to yourself as you take your place in line behind a pair of old ladies.

“I swear, it was a rabbit that ran past us!” one exclaims.

“Absolutely not, I know a squirrel when I see one!” the other insists, stomping her foot in frustration.

tick...

tock...

After a few surprisingly entertaining minutes, you finally make it to the front of the line and the familiar face behind the counter.

"The same as the last hundred or so times?" the old lady asks with a wry smile.

"Hey hey hey, ninety-two times, thank you very much!" you answer with mock indignation.  "But yes, I’m well aware how much of my budget goes to your shop, Aunt Kim."

"I wouldn't have it any other way," she fires back, tapping away at the screen as she yells your order to the kitchen.  "Would you?"

"Absolutely not," you answer without hesitation as you leave a generous tip.  "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna attempt the impossible and try to find somewhere to sit in your stupidly crowded shop."

"Good luck!" she calls out as you turn and walk away.  "You're going to need it!"

You sweep the room once, twice.  Neither survey produces anything but depressing results.  A third time, just in case.  Nothing’s changed.  A heavy, dramatic sigh escapes you as you ready yourself to accept your seemingly inevitable fate.  But before you can concede, a bright glint in the corner of your vision offers hope, causing you to turn and find what you've been desperately looking for.

A girl, seemingly around your age, with glowing golden hair that shines brilliantly, reflecting the warm yellow lights scattered around the shop, sits alone.  Your heart leaps for joy as you see, most importantly, an unutilized chair across from her.  You cling to that shred of hope, quickly making your way over before coming to a stop in front of her table.

A few moments more than you can endure pass as she continues to tap away her phone, either not noticing your presence or choosing to ignore it.  Eventually, you clear your throat and wave your hand in front of her, causing her to jump slightly and finally look up at you.  Your eyes meet, and you feel the words escape your mind in the moment you hold her gaze.  It takes a second, then another, but you finally remember your goal and cease your staring.

"Um, sorry to bother you, but … there are no other seats available, and I really, really, don't want to have to go outside again yet," you hurriedly explain, praying to whoever’s listening that this random, empyrean being you just met might miraculously take pity upon you.  "Would it be alright if I sat here with you?"

She regards you for many moments, each feeling like an eternity as you stand there awkwardly.  She stares, deep into your eyes then deeper still, hunting an ulterior motive.  Her eyes flash and dart, scanning the singular you as if you’re an entire crowd.  You know not what she searches for, but whatever test of virtue you’re subjected to, she seems satisfied with the result as she nods and gestures to the seat across from her.

You finally release the breath you hadn't realized you were holding, thanking her profusely as you join her at the table.

Your display finally earns a crack in the ice, shifting her skeptical expression to one of sick amusement as she comments, "If you’re this scared of the cold, why are you out so late?  Surely you didn’t forget to go shopping before the snowstorm … right?  Surely."

You feel your ears burning with a warmth from deep, deep within as your embarrassment flares up.  Your initial response tells truths, but her smug expression leads your words elsewhere.  "Would you believe I just really wanted ramen from my favorite shop and was willing to suffer the consequences to do so?"

Her sinister smile widens as she leans in and counters, "I just might … if you didn't sound like a guilty schoolboy who got caught trying to copy someone's test answers."

She holds your gaze once again, deep brown eyes delving into the depths of your soul, trapping you within a pocket of agonizing silence amongst the shop’s raucous atmosphere.

"Well?" she whispers breathlessly.  "Are you gonna use your words?  Or are you just gonna let those firetruck red ears do the talking?"

You exhale heavily, feeling your faux hubris exit your body as you confess, "Alright, fine.  You got me.  No more lies.  I might've sorta ruined up my planning for the week and ran out of food last night, alright?  Now, please, I beg you, stop looking at me like that."

Your response catches her off guard, but you’re quick to join her in shock as she bursts into a quiet fit of laughter.  Her mirth immediately entrances you; each note a part of the chorus that dances on your eardrums and seals itself deep into your heart.

You wrack your brain for a proper retort, hoping to turn the tides of this war of words, but your rebuttal is prevented by the arrival of Aunt Kim with your meal.  You thank her profusely as she sets it down, earning a smile before she turns to address your companion.

"Would you like me to take your bowl, Nayeon?" she asks, smiling at your companion in a way you’d believed was reserved for only you.

"Yes please, thank you, ma'am," Nayeon responds, picking up the bowl and handing it to her.

"Bah, you and your stubbornness," Aunt Kim grumbles.  "With how often you come here, the formality just feels stuffy.  Just call me Aunt Kim like this other addict does."

“I could probably do that.  You could also agree to call me Nana like all my other friends do,” Nayeon answers back, a genuine smile gracing her features for the first time you’ve seen.

Aunt Kim rolls her eyes dramatically as she pats your head affectionately in the way she knows you hate, then walks away with that same warm smile that you’d thought was saved exclusively for you, but now know is also shared with the girl sitting across from you.

"Oh, you’re a regular too?" you ask as you begin to enjoy your meal.  "I'm surprised I haven't seen you before."

"I'm usually here later," Nayeon responds as she idly taps away on her phone again.  "Not huge on coming here when it's so busy."

"I totally get that.  I'm usually here earlier, before the big rush, but this week has been crazy.  Add the storm on top of that, and I guess that leaves me here, forced to settle for getting swept up in the dinner surge."

"Oh, so you're settling for my company, huh?  I see how it is," Nayeon replies, feigning indignation as she crosses her arms and huffs in disbelief.  "I guess next time a popsicle wants to share a table, I'll make sure to send him back to the freezer."

"Hey hey hey, easy now," you reply, raising your hands in surrender.  "I'm not a huge fan of this chaos either, but I am eternally grateful for your company and your great sacrifice of existing in my vicinity."

"You're very welcome," Nayeon offhandedly remarks.  "Your expression mid-head pat was almost hilarious enough to justify my continued tolerance of your presence."

And just like that, you feel the conversation derail, coming to a screeching halt as hints of embarrassment creep up your neck and render your face even more flush.  With a grumble and a rather undignified pout, you let your eyes fall to the far warmer bowl of ramen that awaits you and begin enjoying your meal, causing Nayeon to hum in amused satisfaction at your surrender as she returns to her phone and resumes tapping away at what sounds like a game.

While you'd begrudgingly admit that you’ve enjoyed the conversation thus far, you’re pleasantly surprised at how easy it is to simply enjoy the serene feeling of sharing Nayeon's company.  In fact, the silence grants you a brief chance to study the countenance of your dining companion, and you’re more than happy to seize the opportunity.

It seems that the only thing sharper than her words is her jawline, which is itself a sharp contrast from her other, softer features.  As much as you wish you could stare back into her eyes once more, her downward gaze and focus on her phone makes doing so impossible, "forcing" you instead to focus on her lips, which she occasionally bites in frustration, causing your heart to swell in a way that feels unsafe yet anything but unnatural.

"Enjoying the view?"

Well shit.

Your eyes barely have to drift upwards to meet her gaze, where her eyes await you once more with a scrutinizing yet intrigued twinkle.  While only moments ago you were wishing you could stare into her eyes once more, the combination of the intensity of her stare and your embarrassment forces you to look down in shame as you meekly mutter a quiet apology.

"Nah, you're not getting off that easily," Nayeon says, setting aside her phone and leaning in.  "What'd you think?  And please do be honest.  You wouldn’t want to break your promise, would you?"

After only a moment's hesitation, you stare back into her eyes and open the floodgates.

"Well, it's only been a couple minutes, but I've decided that I love the way your hair glows like golden honey in this light, I'm pretty sure your jawline is sharp enough to cut through diamond, and I'm definitely sure that if you keep biting your lip the way you do whenever you're focused or frustrated or whatever that I'm going to be too dizzy to walk home."

“...”

“...”

tick...

“Oh.”

tock...

The raucous atmosphere of the shop seems to once again fade away as you intently hold the gaze of the girl you recently met but feel like you’ve known forever.  You can’t shake this odd sense of familiarity, like you had seen her before somewhere, but can’t quite put your finger on where.

Regardless, by this point, the silence between you has stretched to an uncomfortable length of time.  After bearing it a moment longer as you attempt to gather your resolve, you ask, "So, uh, what do you think?  I mean, I'd also prefer it if you were honest, but I don't have a promise to hold you to, so I guess I'll just have to settle for asking nicely and hoping for the best?"

Your follow-up seems to finally shock Nayeon out of her reverie, leading her to finally pick her jaw up off the floor and respond, "I mean, okay, good to know.  A little much, not gonna lie, but keep talking like that and I might have to let you keep doing what you're doing.  Can’t say I hate the attention."

She pauses for a moment, allowing her eyes to run across your upper body before meeting your gaze once more and adding, "And hey, you're not too rough on the eyes either."

tick...

Only a single serene second slips by as you hold each other's gaze before you see inspiration flash across her visage.  The glimmer in her eyes is quickly joined by a familiar smirk as she glances down to your lips before returning to look you in the eyes.

Then she steals your heart.

Again.

With that unreasonably sultry lip bite.

Again.

"And I thought the cold was going to be the reason I died tonight," you whisper, quietly enough that only she could hear.

Just in case she hadn't yet properly staked her claim on your heart, Nayeon responds with potentially the only thing more charming than her lip bites; her laughter, which once again resonates across the table directly through your eardrums, across your inner bridge, and into your heart.

You open your mouth, hoping to continue the conversation further, but find yourself abruptly cut off by a sudden series of discordant cacophonies as her phone vibrates harshly against the wooden table.  You watch on in poorly hidden dismay as she checks it and her mirthful expression transforms into a grimace at the messages' contents.

"Ugh, I need to get back to my place," she explains as she begins to gather her things.

"Oh, okay," you sigh.  "Thanks again for letting me sit with you and for the … mostly pleasant conversation."

Her frown fades, revealing hints of the smile hidden within.  "Sure, no problem.  I'm sure Ms. Kim would have wanted me dead if she heard I mistreated her other major source of income."

You can’t help but chuckle at her words, though the laughter feels cheerless in the face of more pressing concerns.  "Am I going to see you again?"

Her eyes stare into your own once more, piercing through to your core.  "Who knows?  We've been coming to this shop as frequently as we have for as long as we have for who knows how long and haven't run into each other until now.  Who's to say it won't take another couple of years until our paths cross again?"

And with that sobering perspective, the girl you’ve come to know as Nayeon stands, giving you only the slightest nod in farewell before stepping away from the table.  You watch her as she takes her first few steps, feeling your heart sink lower and lower as the distance between you grows larger and larger.

tock...

But suddenly, you almost swear you can see a lightbulb go off above her head, causing her to turn and walk back to the table.

"You know, I never did catch your name," Nayeon remarks casually.

Despite the exhilaration of your heart soaring at her return, you try to maintain a neutral expression as you reply, "Perfect, now we both have a reason to meet again."

While it might just be your imagination, you dare to hope that it’s your words that transform her sly smirk into a genuine smile that reaches her eyes.

"Oh yeah?  What's your reason?"

"Who said I only have one?"

With her curiosity sated and ego sufficiently inflated, Nayeon gives you a small smile as a farewell, then turns and walks out of the ramen shop.  And as the clock ticks ever onward and you sit alone at the table, pondering what impact this night might have on the rest of your life, you can only hope that she hasn’t walked away for the final time.

tick...

tock...

tick...

tock...

It really was bearable the first couple of days.

But the days turned to weeks and the weeks turned to months and the months began to feel like years.  And as time mercilessly continues to pass by, you unsurprisingly find yourself increasingly affected by the thought of her.

You realized something was seriously wrong when entire weeks began to blur together and each visit to the ramen shop left you feeling colder and lonelier than your previous visit.  It isn’t long before the intrusive thoughts remodel your mind and claim it as their own, leaving you wondering if you had lost your love for your favorite restaurant and your best chance at love in a single night.  Despite the depressing potential of those dramatic notions, you attempt to cast them aside, instead focusing your efforts on maintaining your previous routine and, more importantly, meeting Nayeon again.

Since you assume Aunt Kim will rat you out to Nayeon if you’re too desperate in your attempts, you choose a more subtle approach.  Instead of showing up every night, you alter your schedule to better fit hers.  The awkward “middle” shifts at your work are rarely prioritized, so you’re easily able to make the change and justify your abnormally late arrivals to the shop.

However, your efforts fall short, leaving you wanting, craving even a glimpse of the radiant smile that graces your dreams far more often than you’d readily admit.  And even though you desperately want to ask Aunt Kim if she’s even seen Nayeon, you’re well aware that outside assistance would break the unspoken rules of the game.  So, even as your heart yearns for her, you choose to continue playing.  Even in the face of defeat, you persevere.

All the while, a nagging feeling remains in the back of your mind.  Though you can’t figure out why, you’re sure you know her from somewhere.  The passage of time allows that nagging to fester, growing exponentially until it becomes all you can think about.

It’s not long before the pressure becomes unbearable, forcing you to cave.  Nayeon’s a fairly popular name, but luckily, you’re able to fall back on her nickname of “Nana”.  Thus, on a day that’s become your new norm, you dedicate part of your shift to searching through Naver pages, eventually finding what you’ve been looking for.  Kind of.

You find that she’s the main dancer and leader of a girl group named woo!ah!, one of the seemingly endless number of new K-Pop groups that’ve slipped under your radar.  As you scroll through the pages and watch video after video, you unsurprisingly enjoy their music, yet feel a sense of unease grow with each passing video.  You’d expected feelings of excitement and joy to burst forth with each of Nayeon’s appearances, but instead you’re met by dread, trepidation, and a plethora of other unpleasant emotions that you can’t identify amidst the maelstrom rampaging in your heart.

You finish their MV playlist depressingly quickly, finding far more questions than answers at the end of this rainbow.  Unfortunately, before you can reach a satisfying conclusion, the clock strikes twelve and begins to sing, signaling the end of your shift.  After packing up your things, you depart, and, following a short bus ride, you arrive at the intersection where you turn right to visit the noodle shop once again.

And an hour later, after you’ve stood in line, placed your order, found somewhere to sit, enjoyed your meal, and looked over every square millimeter of the room, you find yourself alone.

Once.

Again.

tick...

tock...

Seemingly a moment later, you’re surprised to find yourself at home.  You rationalize that your body must have moved on its own and your brain must not have cared to encode the memory of walking this familiar path, but even this explanation leaves you with serious concerns.  As you reach into your pocket and feel the warmth from your fingers being sapped by the key’s cold metal, you simply feel … tired.

What’s the point of changing your routine if your days are bound to end the same as always?

What’s the point of searching for warmth if you continue to be left alone in the cold?

What’s the point of listening to your heart if all it leads you to is the deafening silence of your empty apartment?

You can feel it in the air as you turn the key, open the door, and enter the suffocating silence of your apartment.  The air’s cold.  Heavy.  The room’s dark.  Empty.  And you’re sure.  Ready.  As much as your heart yearns to chase Nayeon, your mind is telling you that it’s time.  Time to return to the routine you’ve relied on for so, so long.  You begin by sending a quick email to your supervisor, requesting a change back to your previous schedule.  Then, after a few more hours that won’t be worth remembering, you willingly wade into the darkness.

You mourn the loss of what could have been.  You allow the clouds to roll in, allow the falling rain to drown out the sounds of your heart beating against its cage and its cries for freedom.  You pray that the storm will wash away the memories of that night.  You hope, as desperately as ever, that you’ll find her.  But if your heart can’t have what it wants, you’ll ask your mind to forget her.

tick…..

tock.

tick…..

tock.

Is it eight days later?  Nine days?  Ten?  Your memory might have failed you again, but routine provides you necessary stability once more, helping you through the motions of working the once familiar morning shift before guiding you through the short bus ride to your stop and the subsequent walk to an always familiar intersection and a newly unwelcome decision.

If you simply continue forwards, you’ll arrive at your apartment, where you know that leftovers and loneliness amidst the silence of solitude awaits.  However, if routine truly is still in the driver’s seat, you’ll turn to your right, towards Aunt Kim’s, where you know that ramen and loneliness amidst the voices of others awaits.

Thus, despite the clear blue sky and the bright sun that signaled the early signs of winter’s departure, decision paralysis sets in.  The light flashes yellow, yet you need to decide, now.  Then, it flashes red, yet you know you need to go.  Finally, the indicator flashes green, yet you remain motionless as the crowd begins to surge past you.

It’s there, in that moment, where you stop fighting anxiety’s powerful pull, allowing it to drag you under, away from your routine.  It’s there, in that moment, where you give up, instead electing to return home.  Yet, it’s there, in that moment, where you feel a gentle tug on your arm and see a flash of warm golden light in your periphery.

"Come on, you gotta get there before it gets busy," Nayeon whispers, mock urgency masking her features and veiling her words.  "Otherwise, you might have to ask some weirdo if you can share a table with them."

You’re all too eager to allow yourself to be dragged along, heart nearly bursting out of your chest as you loudly exclaim, “Nayeon!  I—”

Your words are a jumbled mess, bouncing around the inside of your skull, desperately trying to escape all at once, but you hold them all back as the other pedestrians turn, glaring at you as they judge your sudden outburst.  Once you finish offering meek smiles and apologetic waves, you whisper back, “You’re right, that sounds terrible!  Let’s go!”

As she continues to drag you along, you take the opportunity to study the beaming visage of your guide once more.  The passage of time allows you to view the literal girl of your dreams in a new light, and you find Nayeon’s just as radiant in today’s pleasant sunshine as she was so many weeks ago, hidden away from the harsh snowfalls of the early Korean winter.

"What should I say?" you wonder to yourself as you allow her to lead you down the busy sidewalk.  "Would it be too forward to say I missed her after only meeting her once before?"

A familiar cadence, the ringing of a very particular bell, cuts your internal musings short, shunting you back into reality as Nayeon opens the door to Aunt Kim's ramen shop.  Nayeon finally detaches from your arm, leaving you feeling cold and empty.  Not unlike your freezer that fateful night, so many months ago.

After shaking off the last remnants of your reverie, you step forward and join her in line.  Despite being a fair bit taller than her, you can’t seem to make out what exactly she’s doing on her phone as you both wait to place your order.

It only takes a few moments of snooping before a wave of guilt washes over you as you realize your invasion of her privacy, causing you to shift your gaze elsewhere, to other areas of the shop.  Areas such as the table where you had sat the previous time, which currently sits unoccupied.

"Another missed opportunity," you think to yourself as you grieve the lost potential and come to another realization.  "Not to mention the fact that she held the door for me because I was so lost in thought!  Ugh, you're blowing it!  Stop overthinking everything."

After a few short minutes idly spent looking anywhere except towards Nayeon, all of the customers in line in front of you finish placing their orders and go to find a seat.  You aren’t surprised as Nayeon needs mere moments to recite her clearly well-practiced offer, but you are caught off guard when Aunt Kim leans close to Nayeon, whispering something you can’t make out amidst the low murmur of the crowd inhabiting your second home.

The rational part of your brain informs you that, at most, a few seconds pass.  Your emotions tell a far different story, flooding your overwrought mind with a deluge of disquieting dangers and forcing you to consider each of the painful possibilities and worst-case scenarios that comprise the tsunami attempting to drag you into the depths of self-doubt.  Eventually, the two part, and as Nayeon turns to face you, her mischievous expression and gleaming smile ignites a flame in you, burning away any frost that’s formed since you left her embrace.

Her eyes flick over towards Aunt Kim, seemingly challenging you to approach the elderly woman who stands behind the counter with crossed arms and a dangerously amused expression.  This time, however, Nayeon doesn’t even give your words enough time to get caught in your throat, instead simply walking past you and allowing the silky strands of her hair to brush your shoulder and convey all the intent she needs to.

As you gather what little cognitive function remains, you’re especially grateful for the familiarity of this place as Aunt Kim enters your order with well-practiced quickness.  You’re uncharacteristically afraid of meeting her eyes as you sign your name and begin to enter the same generous tip you’ve always given, but her scoff of indignation as you meekly hold out your hand for your order number forces you to do so.

"So." she says bluntly, withholding the plastic indicator as she awaits your response.

"Yes ma’am?” you ask, voice laced with saccharine innocence.

“Oh gods, don’t tell me that that girl’s stubbornness has infected you too,” Aunt Kim responds exasperatedly.  “You finally managed to meet up with her again, eh?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you respond as you delete your previous number, instead entering an extra-large tip before braving Aunt Kim’s gaze once more, silently conveying your plea for mercy as you literally attempt to buy her silence.

Aunt Kim’s eyes flash down briefly, widening for a moment before a deep, jovial laugh echoes out from her, reverberating throughout the room as she holds your gaze once more.

“All right, act sly all you like.  I'm just tired of seeing someone come in alone fifty times in a row just to spend their time here hoping and searching for a certain someone.”

The banter is unique, odd, and comfortably routine as you ease into its familiar warmth.  Your brow arches dramatically as you declare, “Why Aunt Kim, I can’t stand these accusations!  It’s only been forty-six times since then!”

You watch as Aunt Kim’s smile fades, shifting from a display of mirth to a thin obfuscation of sadness as she responds, “You’re not the only one who’s been sitting alone at a table for two.  Now go!”

And as she pushes your number into your hands and sends your mind into a tailspin, you’re left with no other option but to turn and allow the next customer to set up.  Your body’s autopilot takes over, turning you further until you face the table where this all started, only to find it occupied.

By none other than Nayeon herself.

You lock eyes for the briefest of moments before she avoids your gaze, poorly pretending to be enthralled by the black screen of her phone.  As the slightest hints of confidence begin to emerge from within, you walk up to the table, acting as casually as you can, pulling out a chair and taking a seat across from her.

After offering up a prayer to whoever’s listening, desperately hoping that you wouldn’t blow this chance, you look straight at her and ask, “So, how have you been?”

“Oh, so we’re just getting right into it, huh?” Nayeon asks, already crafting the thin veneer of the haughtiness she’d used to shield herself before.  “Not even going to thank me for saving you a seat?  I know you’ve had issues finding them before.”

You raise your hands up in mock surrender as you admit, “Alright, fair enough.  I am very grateful for your act of charity once again, and I’ll be sure to make it up to you.”

“I’m glad to see you’ve come to your senses,” she declares, obvious satisfaction in her smirk as she nods in approval.  “To answer your question, I’ve been fortunate enough to be busy, so that’s always good.  Aside from work, I guess it’s mostly just been working out, spending time with those I’m closest to, and coming here.  What about you?”

“I’ve …” your voice trails off for a moment, granting you silence as you meticulously craft your next line.  “I’ve had better months, but I honestly can’t complain too much.  Work’s been consistent, so like you said, that’s always good.  Plus, I always have this place to come back to, so that’s a big plus.”

“So, you come here often?” Nayeon asks, waggling her eyebrows in the most tropey, dramatic way possible.  It’s clearly meant to be humorous, and you’re all too eager to reward her efforts with a smile.  You just also hope it buys you time to reclaim the breath she steals so easily.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that," you say, chuckling slightly as you struggle against all the unwelcome thoughts and emotions that continuously threaten to boil over.  "Especially the past couple of months, I'm fairly sure I've made a sizeable contribution to the 'Kim Family College Fund'.  What about you, have you also been a generous donor?"

And there it is.  For the first time since that night a lifetime ago, your words strike a chord, and your just reward is the melodious laughter that bursts free from the alluring lips of Nayeon before gently drifting across the table and imprinting itself once again upon your soul.  And all you can wonder is why you’d ever choose to stop chasing her.

After the briefest of stanzas, her mirthful song quiets and her words shift to a whisper.  "Listen, if my friends ever find out just how often I've been coming here and how much I've spent, it’ll be the last day I see the sun!  So shhh!"

The quiet laugh that resonates out straight from your heart may not be planned or voluntary, but anyone paying a modicum of attention can easily tell it’s genuine.  You feel free, weightless even, to an extent you haven’t felt since a certain night so many weeks ago.  And as you savor this moment of warmth, of dethawing even, you’re glad to see that same joy mirrored in the eyes and smile of Nayeon too.

"Alright, fair enough.  Not a word to your friends, and you won't rat me out to mine?  Deal?"

"Deal!" she responds eagerly, extending her hand out to shake yours.

Without hesitation, you reach out and seal the pact, cherishing the influx of warmth generated by even the swiftest second of your fingertips grazing the soft skin of her palm.

But then, just like that, it’s gone.  The briefest moment of contact ends all too soon, and you find yourself in silence once more.

Fortunately, this time it doesn’t last, as Nayeon speaks up once more.

"So … any particular reason you've been around more often recently?" she asks as she looks around in a familiar pattern, seemingly fascinated by the decorations of the place she must have visited hundreds of times.

"I might have a reason," you respond suavely as you lean back in your chair.  "Maybe even a couple."

"Oh yeah?" she asks, ending her search as she reaches her destination: your eyes.  "Pardon my vanity, but is there any chance … I’m one of those reasons?"

In this moment, this secular moment of confession, this seductress needs no lip bites nor any promises of sweet nothings to ensnare your heart even further.  All you need is to look into her eyes, where you see the same earnest anticipation mirrored within your own soul.

So, in this moment, you give yourself no time to second guess yourself, acting on pure instinct as you take out your heart, affix it to your sleeve in full view of everyone within the restaurant, and admit, "Yeah, I mean, you’re the only reason that mattered.  I guess … I was scared of the thought of never seeing you again.  I really missed you."

tick...

Another moment passes.  But this stretch of silence is far shorter than the last and her response is far quicker than last time you’d shared a confession.  This time, it’s her words that shock you.

"Thanks, I … uh, really missed you too," she whispers softly, perhaps trying to preserve the serenity of this moment between the two of you.

tock...

Milliseconds begin to feel like minutes as you desperately rack your brain, searching for an adequate continuation to the conversation.  Fortunately, just as desperation tips over into despair, none other than Aunt Kim comes to your rescue, carrying a pair of bowls in her hands and a complicated collection of emotions across her countenance.

First, she offers Nayeon her warm bowl with an even warmer smile, which Nayeon is happy to return in kind.  Then, just as you recover from being blinded by Nayeon’s radiance, Aunt Kim turns to you, deliberately holding back your bowl as she offers nothing but a quirked eyebrow and an expectant expression.

You raise your hands in surrender once more, internally cursing the developing trend as you ask, “What, Miss Aunt Kim, could you possibly be expecting from me?  Ma’am.”

You aren’t sure if it’s your sheepish expression or Aunt Kim’s sigh of exasperation that sparks it, but whatever semblance of a train of thought you’d begun crafting is sent careening off the rails by the return of that same singsong laughter that’s lifted your spirits up from the depths they’d plummeted to.

While Nayeon continues her chorus of joy, you watch as Aunt Kim’s frosty exterior thaws, causing her to gently place the bowl in your hands before pulling away just the slightest bit.

“I’m just glad things finally lined up,” Aunt Kim says with a knowing smile and another ruffling of your hair that earns another round of laughter from Nayeon.

Finally, that last embarrassment inflicted, Aunt Kim elects to leave you in peace.

After months of waiting, the culmination of all your fantasies is … a conversation.  About nothing.  About everything.  About your job as an editor at a K-Pop news / blog site and how the recent schedule change left you saddled with a writer who’d recently gotten in trouble for “not including all the members when describing a group’s latest comeback” or something.  About her job as an idol and the years of struggle and the stress of debuting and her relationships with her members and fan interactions and on and on and on.

It’s the most mundane human experience you’ve ever had, but it’s warm.  It lasts from your usual arrival time until Nayeon’s usual time of departure, yet time seems to pass by in an instant.  It’s nothing you would have expected yet everything you could possibly ask for, like a waking dream.  It’s almost unfathomable how much you enjoy yourself.

It also has to end.

“Hey,” Nayeon says suddenly, allowing her voice to soften.  “The shop’s closing soon.”

“Oh, right,” you say, feeling your smile fade for the first time in hours.

“We should, uh …”

“Yeah, let’s—”

“Yeah.”

The dusty old chairs creak against the stained floorboards of the shop as you both slowly slide them back, hoping that your sluggish movements will elongate this experience.  Each of you bids farewell to Aunt Kim in your own special way, then turn to depart.  And as you open the door for her and the brisk evening wind leaves you scrambling for the right words, it’s Nayeon who finds her courage first.

“We’ll be performing next Saturday,” she begins, speaking just loud enough for her words to reach your ears before the cruel winds can whisk them away.  “I understand if you’re busy, but—”

“I’ll be there.”

And just as the door closes and you put forth your promise, the jingle of the bells and Nayeon’s relieved laughter join in harmony, creating a melody that wraps itself around you and promises to protect you from the cold.

“I haven’t even told you where it is yet!” she exclaims, meeting your eyes once more.

“Then I should probably give you my number, no?” you counter, holding her gaze as she looks back with the softest eyes and warmest smile.

“That sounds like a great idea,” Nayeon says, eagerly pulling out her phone and handing it to you.

You quickly punch in the digits and hand it back to her, earning a frown in response.

“What is it?”

“You still haven’t told me your name.”

So, you tell her.  And she repeats it back to you.  And it’s no surprise that the sound of your name in her mouth is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever heard.  And you’re still reeling from that when she texts you, “Hi it’s me!🐇”.  And when you finally manage to tear your eyes from the screen, you’re met with the sight of her meekly looking down at the sidewalk below.

“Hey,” you say softly, giving her a moment to meet your eyes before opening your arms.  “You—”

Your words don’t even have a chance to be whisked away by the cruel winds before Nayeon darts over and crashes into your chest, driving the air from your lungs as she wraps her arms around you.  Instinctually, you wrap your own arms around her, holding her close and refusing to let go.

“Stay warm, okay?” you whisper, only for her ears.

“I think I’ll be just fine,” she whispers back, just as softly.

And it’s hard when you two untangle yourselves.  And it’s harder to say goodbye.  And it’s nearly impossible to turn away.  But it’s easy to turn back and look at her.  And you see Nayeon walking, no, almost skipping away down the sidewalk.  And you know that the months-long wait was worth it.  And the next ten days will feel like a decade.

But that’ll be worth the wait too.

tick…

tock…

tick…

tock…

This time, you know exactly how long it’s been.  You’ve checked the clock every hour of the past ten days, desperately awaiting the chance to see her again.  Absolutely dreading the thought of seeing her again.

Your anxiety certainly isn’t helped by the sea of lightsticks and legions of chanting fans wielding them.  Amidst this squall of rabid passion, you can’t help but feel underprepared.  You can’t help but feel nervous.  You can’t help but feel insignificant.

Fortunately, by the time you’re able to make your way up closer to the front, the performances have started and begun to wash away some of that negativity.  You lose yourself in the stages, showing support to these young adults, these kids, who’re giving everything they have to try and achieve their dreams.  It really is an enjoyable way to spend an afternoon.

Yet your throat still dries up when you hear them announce who’s performing next.  All of a sudden, the room floods, dragging you under; the blood rushes in, waves deafening you.

tick…

They come out on stage.

tock…

Your eyes can’t look anywhere else.

tick… tock…

“Nana” says something that you can’t hear.

tick…tock…

They get in position. tick..tock..tick.. They begin. ticktockticktockticktocktick

And then, just like that, it’s over.  The performance ends and the group bids the crowd farewell, leaving you with far fewer thoughts than you anticipated but far more emotions than you’re prepared for.  At the forefront of your mind, a singular idea, the catalyst of the storm, reverberates incessantly with a single realization.

Nayeon’s eyes didn't meet yours a single time throughout the whole performance, yet she spent the entire time smiling brighter than you’ve ever seen.

You somehow manage to stumble through the crowd, moving towards an exit as they roar in excitement at the announcement of the next performers, a group you’ve followed since debut and one you like quite a lot.  A group that doesn’t matter.

It’s only once you get outside, once you’re able to take a moment amidst the early evening air, that your breathing begins to slow.  It’s there that the blood pumping in your ears begins to settle.  It’s there that the vibration on your leg nearly makes you jump out of your skin.  But once you nail the three-point landing, you pull out your phone and read the new message:

Nayeon 🐇 (6:02pm):  Hey, were you able to make it?  I just peeked my head out but couldn’t find you anywhere.

You (6:03pm):  I did!  Sorry, I just stepped outside after watching your performance, needed some air

You (6:03pm):  You guys were great!

Nayeon🐇 (6:03pm):  Awww, thanks so much!!

Nayeon🐇 (6:03pm):  You should come around the back, I wanna introduce you to everyone!

Nayeon🐇 (6:04pm):  Meet me at door E35, I’ll let you in

You (6:06pm):  Sure, I’m on my way

You hit send, finally responding after needing a minute to calm the upswell of sanguine tides that continue to thrash within.  Your steps are heavy, echoing loudly throughout the packed parking lot and even louder in your mind as you begin discerning which feelings surround this storm’s catalyst.  

The unfamiliar feeling doesn’t remind you of the anxiety you’ve faced before, nor does it remind you of the self-doubt you’ve suffered in your past.  No, when you round the corner to see Nayeon’s head poking out the door, looking for you, and you hear the crowd’s thunderous applause, you know exactly which ugly emotion torments you.  And despite having no right to feel the way you do, you know that jealousy gnaws at your core.

So, when Nayeon turns and locks eyes with you, you hope your smile shows delight, not despair.  And while you don’t quite match the radiance of her reaction, you’re inviting enough for her to throw open the door and begin dashing towards you.  Fortunately, your limbs seem to have higher priorities than jealousy, as you too begin closing the distance and opening your arms, meeting her halfway and tightly wrapping your arms around her as she does the same to you.

Your ability to string together sentences escapes you as you hold her close, feeling her heartbeat hammer against your chest at as rapid a pace as your own.

“We should do this more often,” Nayeon murmurs into your chest.

“I mean, sure, I’d be happy to come support your group any time I’m not—”

“No, not that!” she exclaims, giggling slightly as she pulls away just enough to look up at you.  “I mean this.”

And she pulls you in even tighter, leaving you short of breath in more ways than one.

“But also, thank you for coming to see us perform.  You have no idea how much I appreciate it.”

“Of course,” you say, heart penning your words before your brain can intervene.  “Anything for you.”

“Anything?” Nayeon asks incredulously, finally breaking the hug as the mischievous glint in her eye returns.  “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

“I stand by my word,” you respond, acting far more confidently than you truly feel.  “Besides, how dangerous could you possibly be?”

“Are you looking to find out?” she asks, smiling deviously as you see the turning gears in her head shift into overdrive.

“Maybe one day,” you say with a shrug.  “Must admit, it’s not high on my list of priorities though.”

“Oh yeah?  What’s number one?”

“Why spoil the surprise?  Gotta keep you coming back somehow.”

Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise as Nayeon scoffs in response.  “Yeah, like that’s a concern.”

“I, uh, thanks?” you sputter, unable to do anything further as the mechanisms of your mind malfunction.

“Oh!” she exclaims, face alight with merriment and mischief alike.  “You are in danger.”

All you can do is shrug.  Why try to hide what you both know to be true?  Why not join her in laughter instead?

“Hey,” you say a few seconds later as you catch a brief glimpse of your breath in the air.  “We should get you inside, it's too cold for you to be out here in a sleeveless top and those ‘shorts’.”

“What do you mean?” Nayeon asks incredulously.  “I think my stylist absolutely nailed it today.”

“Yeah, like anything you wear could look bad,” you scoff.  “I'm just worried about you turning into a popsicle.”

“Oh?  I guess I'll just have to find someone to keep me warm,” she drawls as she walks back to the door.  “You wouldn't mind, would you?”

“Of course not.”

“Of course not,” she repeats, flashing the smallest of smirks your way before turning back and stepping up to the door.  “Anything for me, right?”

“I mean …” you begin to say.  Unfortunately, your train of thought is brought to a screeching halt by the rather rude sound of the unmoving door handle within Nayeon’s grasp.

“Wonderful,” Nayeon says, exasperation coating her words as she runs her fingers through her hair.  “And on the one day I forgot to charge my phone too.”

“You can borrow mine,” you offer, reaching into your pocket and holding it out to her.  “Can you call someone inside who can open it?”

“Yes, I can!” she says, eagerly accepting your offer and taking your phone.  “Give me a second, I'll see if Wooyeon's willing to help.”

A few moments later, after she's punched in the numbers and the phone's begun to ring, she looks up with that same cheeky smile she wears so frequently around you.

“Guess you're stuck with me a bit longer,” she dramatically declares.

“Woe is me,” you respond in kind, pressing the back of your hand to your forehead like you're about to faint.

Nayeon opens her mouth to fire back, but her reply is superseded by a muffled, vaguely familiar voice emanating out from the speaker.

“Hey, it's me,” she remarks casually, as if calling someone from a random number is a totally normal thing to do.  “I need—”

She stops mid-sentence, seemingly allowing the person on the other end to voice their apparently substantial list of frustrations at Nayeon. 

“Yeah, I, uh, sorry about slipping away like that,” Nayeon replies sheepishly as her cheeks flare in an entirely new way.  “It's a very long story that I very much don't want to get into tonight, but can you please come open door E35?  I might have locked myself out.”

It's a tense few moments of silence before Nayeon gets a response.  What you assume to merely be a few words at most still manages to shock Nayeon, leaving her wide eyed as she responds, “That's a lot to ask for just—”

Her words are suddenly cut off by what you assume to be Wooyeon's response, causing Nayeon to roll her eyes in resignation before responding, “Okay!  Sure, fine.  Both rooms, before the performance on Wednesday.  Got it.”

“Alright, see you soon,” she continues.  “And Wooyeon?  Thank you.”

“Here, thanks for letting me borrow that,” Nayeon says, handing you back your phone.

“Of course,” you respond.  “What were you two arguing about?”

“Honestly it was more bargaining than arguing,” Nayeon groans, throwing her head back in frustration.  “A trade I horribly lost, mind you.   Apparently in her mind, a three-minute walk is worth me having to clean both bedrooms at the dorms.”

“That seems … harsh,” you say, earning a shrug in response.

The silence goes unbroken for a minute.  Then another.  But when it's finally broken, it's not by words, but the chattering of teeth.  Hers.

Fortunately, your movements are so instinctual that by the time your brain has even begun to consider overthinking things, you've already taken off your jacket and wrapped it around her.  Nayeon’s shivering swiftly slows, but you leave your arm wrapped around her.  Just in case.

tick…

tock…

It ends up being ten minutes, not three, that you share in silence.  Not that either of you notice or care.

As soon as you hear the handle begin to turn, you immediately pull away, earning the smallest of whines from Nayeon before she too hears the door opening and turns towards it.

“There you are!” both girls exclaim as you see one of the other members from the earlier performance poke her head out.

“What took you so long?” Nayeon asks.  “I thought it'd take four minutes max to find us.”

“Listen, we can discuss whether or not I got lost once you get inside,” Wooyeon huffs in response.  “Come on, it's freezing out here!”

“You're telling me,” you mutter, causing Nayeon to quietly chuckle as she looks up at you with wide, apology-filled eyes.

You both follow Wooyeon inside, where Nayeon introduces you to one another and informs Wooyeon that she had invited you.  After an exchange of slightly awkward bows, Wooyeon speaks up.

“Okay, so this story involves you and a guy, alone, in the middle of a parking lot on a dark and stormy evening?  I don't care how long it is, you're telling me everything.”

“I … fine.  We can talk on the drive back,” Nayeon begrudgingly accepts.

“Good.  Speaking of, we should head back.  Now, preferably.  They're probably waiting on us,” Wooyeon says, shooting you a sympathetic glance.

“Hey, it's alright,” you tell Nayeon as she turns to look at you.  “I'm just glad I got to see you.  The performance and everything else were just icing on the cake.”

“Everything else, huh?” Wooyeon asks, seemingly more invested suddenly.  “How late is this story going to keep me up?”

“Oh relax,” Nayeon scoffs, shaking her head at Wooyeon's instigation attempts.

“But seriously,” she says to you.  “Thanks for being understanding.”

“Also, thanks for this,” Nayeon continues, smirking at you as she points to your jacket.

“Of course,” you immediately respond.  “Anything for you.”

You watch as Nayeon’s cheeky expression morphs into confusion, like your response was outside the rules of the game you’re both playing.

“I, uh, thanks?” she sputters.  But that confusion doesn't last, and a warm smile is quick to replace it.

“Here then,” she murmurs, closing the distance between you two quicker than you're able to respond.  “This is for you.”

And there's a lot of small details that you'll forget in hindsight.  Like the way Nayeon stands up on her tiptoes, or how she tilts her head just the slightest bit, or even the glittery eyeshadow that gleams in the light.  But there's one detail you'll remember.  Because you'll never forget the feeling of her soft lips against your cheek.

You can't help but hate the moment she pulls away.  But when she locks eyes with you, you're brave enough to hope that you'll feel that sensation again.

“Bye,” she whispers.

“Bye.”

“...”

“...”

“Bye?” Wooyeon says, offering you a slightly awkward wave as you turn to face her.

You look back to Nayeon, and neither of you can help but laugh at Wooyeon's shell-shocked expression.  One theatrical sigh and an eye roll later, Wooyeon turns and begins to walk away.

“Bye Wooyeon!” you call out at the retreating form.  “Hopefully next time we meet, it'll be a little more normal!”

“Hard not to be!” she calls back, earning another duet of laughter from you and Nayeon.

“I should probably follow her,” Nayeon says.  “We're performing Wednesday night, so I guess I'll see you at the shop on Thursday?  Unless you—”

“I'll be there,” you say, fighting back the jealous feelings that surge up at the thought of her performing again.

“You're the best,” she says, throwing her arms around you for the briefest of moments before turning and hurriedly following Wooyeon.  “I'll text you the location!”

“Sounds good, see you there!” you call out in response.  You can't help but feel glued to the floor as you watch her walk away, remaining motionless until she rounds a corner and leaves you alone in the hallway.

An odd mix of emotions twirls around your mind as you depart the building.  Many of them, the vast majority even, are undeniably positive.  But voices, ones eerily similar to those found in the fanchants from earlier, echo in the back of your mind and entrench those unshakable feelings of jealousy.

But even as the bus takes you away and you pray to reach home before the rain begins to fall, you know that this inner storm isn't one you can outrun.

tick…

tock…

tick…

tock…

You hope that you’re as good at hiding your emotions as you think you are.  Because the way you feel when you’re with Nayeon, your friend, when you’re both excitedly talking a little louder than you should be and occasionally have to pause the conversation to apologize to the other customers nearby, it’s euphoric.  It’s exhilarating.  It’s everything you could have ever dreamed of and more.

And it could not be more different than the way you feel when you’re with “Nana”, the idol.  Because you should still feel that euphoria, that elation.  You have no reason not to, especially since Nayeon acts the same way, even going so far as to find time somewhere in her crazy schedule when you two can meet.  The joy you find in those moments should be enough.  But your jealousy proves gluttonous, leaving you with an awful feeling in the pit of your stomach that grows harder to ignore.  It’s inescapable.  It’s everything you can’t control threatening to take away everything you hold dear.

And you haven’t the slightest fucking clue what to do.

Unfortunately, the tempest doesn’t give you much time to find a solution before boiling over.  It’s only a couple of weeks and a handful of performances later when Nayeon pulls you into a small alcove hidden amongst the towers of sound equipment and piles of wires.  Almost immediately, she begins sharing a story about a fan interaction, further fanning the flames of the ugly side of your emotions.

It’s not long before you’re overwhelmed by the turbulent emotions within.  Nayeon’s in the middle of a sentence when you lean in, cupping her cheek in one hand as you press your lips against hers.  You kiss her gently at first, but after her initial shock, she begins to kiss you back.  Firmly.  Insistently.  You let the sounds of the nearby stage abate, allowing yourself to instead lose yourself in the only senses that matter right now.

Like how the smell of her conditioner reminds you of coconuts and cherry blossoms.  Or how she tastes sweeter than honey.  Or how her lips are somehow softer than clouds.

You pull away only once oxygen deprivation forces you to, leaving you both staring at each other as you desperately attempt to catch your breath.

“I’m so sorry,” you say as soon as you’re able to.  “I shouldn’t have—”

“Don’t you dare apologize,” Nayeon interjects.  “Shut up and kiss me again.”

This time, she catches you off-guard as she leans in, pulling your head down slightly as she kisses you with as much intensity as before, if not more.  You’re more than willing to match her zeal, eliciting murmurs of satisfaction and small gasps for air from her as you battle back and forth.

It’s intense.  It’s electrifying.  It’s everything you’ve ever wanted and—

“There you are—oh!”

You and Nayeon hastily separate and turn to face the unexpected spectator, finding none other than poor Wooyeon and her shell-shocked expression awaiting you once again.

“Wooyeon?!  I, you, we, uh …” Nana says, trailing off mid-sentence as she steps away from you and attempts the futile task of trying to return her hair to some semblance of normalcy.

“We have to figure out a better way for you to introduce me to your friends,” you tell Nana, earning a stare of disbelief from her and an unexpected bit of melodious laughter from Wooyeon.

“You seriously do!” Wooyeon exclaims, fanning her face in an attempt to disperse the crimson flooding her cheeks.  “Honestly, I hate that they keep sending me to find you two, why can't it be Sora getting traumatized for once?”

“Because they know you're way too good at finding things for your own good, especially us apparently,” Nayeon says, pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration.

“Oh, don't worry!  I won't tell …” Wooyeon trails off for a moment, looking at Nayeon slyly.  “Too many people.”

“Hey!” Nayeon exclaims.  “Be careful what you wish for, I'm sure plenty of people would be interested in my stories about you.”

“That wasn't what I'd hoped to hear, but you can write me an apology later,” Wooyeon fires back, turning her head away from Nayeon to hide the red that refuses to leave her cheeks.  “I hate to do this again, but we really do need to get going.”

Nayeon's indignation seems to flare even further as she steps closer to Wooyeon, but you can't help but chuckle at the image of the shorter Nayeon attempting to intimidate the much taller Wooyeon.  Nayeon spares a moment to glare at you before turning back to Wooyeon and saying, “Listen, I'm sure we can—”

“Hey, hey, it’s alright,” you interject.  “I’m sure we’ll have time to talk later, right Nayeon?”

“Oh sure, I’m positive that she’ll have plenty of time for a lovely conversation later,” Wooyeon comments, earning a glare from Nayeon that’d likely be scathing if not for the obvious embarrassment coloring her countenance.

“Hey, not so loud!” you jest, smiling just as wide as Wooyeon.  “Seriously though, I really am sorry Wooyeon.   I’ll make it up to you sometime, hopefully next time I see you.  Surely next time we meet it’ll be more normal, right?  Surely?”

“Suuurrrelyyyy,” Wooyeon responds, stringing out the single word just long enough to fit every emotion other than sincerity into its delivery.  She takes the opportunity to step away from Nayeon, who seems temporarily frozen between states of frustration, embarrassment, and something else entirely.

“Hey, no worries,” you gently tell Nayeon, taking her hands in your own and turning her to face you.  “Your members need you.”

“Besides, you should probably go willingly before Wooyeon drags you back, kicking and screaming the whole way,” you joke, smiling as Wooyeon grins and hums in agreement.

“Surely you wouldn't do that to me, right Wooyeon?” Nayeon asks, turning and pouting at her in an exaggeratedly cute manner.

“The option's never been more tempting,” Wooyeon replies, sticking out her tongue in response.

“Okay okay fine, I surrender,” Nayeon tells her, raising her hands in a manner all too familiar to you before turning back to you.  “I'll see you Saturday?”

“Wouldn't miss it for anything,” you tell Nayeon, pulling her into a tight hug that finally dispels the vast amount of tension she'd built up in such a short time.

“Neither would I,” Nayeon murmurs back before pulling away just enough to capture your lips one final time.

“Alright, let's go,” Nayeon tells Wooyeon, interlocking arms with her as they begin to walk away.

“So, for the first part of my apology, I want …” Wooyeon's voice trails off as they walk out of earshot.  But you remain in place, watching their retreating forms until they leave your field of view.  And then perhaps a minute longer, just in case.

But eventually, you also turn away and begin your departure.  The only topic on your mind as you walk, ride the bus, and then walk again on your journey to reach your home is the storm of emotions within.  On the one hand, it gave you the confidence to act in a way you wouldn't have been willing to normally, leading to an amazing and memorable moment.  But on the other hand, you can't shake the feeling that this upswell wasn't the final manifestation of these detrimental feelings.  All you can do is hope that if they do flare again, that night won’t be memorable for all the wrong reasons.

tick…

tock…

As you walk alongside Nayeon, you can’t help but marvel at how normal this new norm feels.  Even just a few weeks ago, you would have desperately lunged at the chance to see Nayeon a single time, but now, seeing her multiple times a week feels routine.  Normal.  Unremarkable?

Definitely not unremarkable, as the memory of your arms wrapped around her waist and her lips pressed against your own is just as vivid as it felt in that moment a few nights ago.  Even the restlessness of flaking on the group’s performance for the first time last night feels insignificant in comparison to the contentment you feel right now.

Which is why it’s so jarring when you’re met by a “CLOSED” sign on the shop’s door for the first time ever.

“‘Apologies for the sudden closure’,” you read aloud.  “‘We’re visiting family this weekend and will be closed for the next couple of days.’”

“‘We’ll be open once again on Monday.  We hope to see you then!’” Nana concludes.  “I mean, I hope she has a nice time, but what do we do now?”

“I mean, I’m sure we can find somewhere else that sounds good.  There are a couple places nearby that I usually order delivery from,” you offer.

“Wait, isn’t your place nearby?” she asks, earning a nod in response.  “Why don’t we just pick something up on the way and eat there?  We could watch a movie too, it’ll be fun!”

“Wait wait wait,” you say, mind reeling at the implications.  “Did you just invite yourself into my apartment?”

“Yep!” Nayeon announces, shame nowhere to be found within that radiant smile.  “Now figure out which chicken place you want to order from and let’s go!”

All you can do is laugh at the absurdity of the situation as you pull out your phone and do as she asks.  After a few minutes of walking and a quick stop to pick up food, you arrive at your apartment.  Your one-bedroom apartment might pale in comparison to some of the more upscale living areas in Seoul, but you genuinely appreciate the place you call your home, and you show it to Nayeon with pride.  After a brief tour, you both unpack the large assortment of dishes that usually accompany any Korean meal and begin your dinner.

“How was your performance last night?” you ask her, forcing yourself to smile even as the initial hints of your jealousy begin to stir.

“It went well, thank you!” Nayeon responds, smiling softly at you.  “The fan turnout was amazing, so it was super easy to enjoy performing for them.  What about you, how was your night?”

“Pretty good, thank you for asking,” you say, attempting to match the warmth of her smile but unable to due to the ice in your heart.  “It was a pretty unremarkable evening in general, but I did appreciate the chance to catch up on some much-needed sleep.”

“That’s good to hear!  I missed having you there, but I’m glad you were able to rest.”

“Thank you.  I’m sorry for not being there to support you, but at least Wooyeon got to enjoy a night where she didn’t have to hunt us down.”

“She actually told me that she was sad you weren’t there!  She said on the ride over that she was sure last night was going to be your guys’ first ‘normal’ conversation.”

“Really?  That’s unfortunate, hopefully it’ll happen next time I see her.”

“Hopefully!” Nayeon agrees, and you both go back to enjoying your dinner.  

A few minutes later, once you’ve both finished and cleared away the table, you pull out your favorite oversized blanket and lounge on the couch, inviting Nayeon to join you.  She’s more than happy to oblige, taking the remote from you and immediately pulling up some recently released horror sequel.  You can’t help but voice your surprise, but your concerns are swiftly and eagerly shut down as she gets up and begins messing with the light switches, trying different combinations in an attempt to properly set the mood.  Once she finally achieves her desired lighting, she hops back onto the couch, pulling the blanket over herself and laying against your side.

As she snuggles in closer, you do your best to relax and simply enjoy the experience.  And, if nothing else, the experience is certainly entertaining, as Nayeon seems to be terrified of the jump scares that seem to occur every couple of minutes.  Yet despite her screams, she refuses every time you ask if she wants to watch something else, insisting that she’s having a great time.  Well, for the first hour at least.

“Can I ask you something?” Nayeon says suddenly as she pauses the movie.

“Of course,” you say, your mind flooding with concerns and thoughts of worst-case outcomes.

“Is everything alright?” she asks, sitting up and turning to face you.

“Like, right now?  Couldn’t be better,” you respond, fighting through your concern as you offer a strained smile.

“Mostly just in general, but you don’t seem relaxed even now, despite the fact that we’re under this stupidly soft blanket on this insanely comfy couch,” Nayeon says, smiling for a moment before her expression shifts back to seriousness.  “But honestly, you’ve seemed kinda off for a while.  It's not all the time, but often enough for me to be concerned.  Is there something you want to talk about?”

“No, it’s okay, I—” You stop yourself, searching through the dark and finding nothing but obvious care and trust in her eyes.  So, knowing you can do better, you start over.

“I’m not going to lie to you.  I promise I won’t.  So, yeah, there’s something that’s bothering me, but it’s … hard to explain.  I don’t want to hide anything from you—and I promise I will tell you, but I don’t know the words to tell you what I want to say right now.  Can I ask you to be patient with me, just for a little bit?”

“Okay,” she says, visible concern on her face as she nods.  “Whenever you’re ready.”

“Thank you, I really appreciate it,” you say, awkwardly turning back to the TV.

You’re unable to focus on the rest of the movie, deafened by the silence between you two and shivering from a coldness unrelated to the setting sun.  Even once it’s over and Nayeon gets ready to leave, neither of you are able to put on a convincing enough performance to hide your emotions.  You exchange awkward goodbyes, waving farewell instead of hugging like you’ve always done as she walks away.

Thus, it’s anything but surprising when, mere hours later, the girl of your dreams becomes the subject of your nightmares.  Spectral visions of her pained expression haunt you as the thoughts of causing her stress, pain, and suffering bind and isolate you.  You swear you can hear the haunted cackling of the manifestations of anxiety and jealousy in your mind as they cast a spotlight on your inability to quell the storm.  And as the nightmare begins to fade and you feel yourself being dragged away from her, you finally get it.

As soon as you awaken, unsurprisingly covered in sweat, you immediately grab your phone and begin composing a series of messages.  Because you refuse to let your selfishness hurt someone else, especially Nayeon.

You (5:01am): Hey, I’m so, so sorry about last night, especially how it ended

You (5:01am):  There’s somewhere I’d love to show you, it’s a private place where we should be able to spend some time together and talk

You (5:01am):  If you have an afternoon free sometime soon, please let me know

You (5:02am):  Thanks so much

Between the restless night and the anxiety of hoping for a response, the miserable day you end up having is anything but a surprise.  You check your phone at every available opportunity, but the response you're hoping for never arrives.

It isn't until after you return home, when you're sitting alone in the stale air of your frigid, empty apartment that Nayeon answers.

Nayeon🐇 (5:01pm): Hey, I'm so sorry for taking so long to respond, there were a lot of things I ended up needing to take care of today

Nayeon🐇 (5:01pm): Does tomorrow work?  I'm sorry if it's sooner than you were expecting …

You (5:02pm): No, that would actually be perfect!  Thank you so much, I'll send you the address

You press send, feeling a great weight lifted off your shoulders as you confirm the location and time with her.  Unfortunately, just as you feel yourself begin to relax, your mind begins compiling a list of the things you’ll need for tomorrow.

So, once again, you bundle up and step outside to face the harsh winds.  But this time, as the grocery store comes into view, you're eager to brave the storm.  Because you know what's waiting for you on the other side.

tick…

tock…

Noon.  The brightest point of the day.  A time of warmth.  An important part of any day for a multitude of reasons.  Specifically, the most important part of today because it's when you plan to meet Nayeon.

You scramble onto the bus just in time, sighing in relief as you check the clock and see that you’re scheduled to arrive a bit early, just as you’d hoped.  So, with a bit of free time during the thirty-eight-minute journey awaiting you, you first check all your belongings, happily confirming that nothing's been lost in transit.  You look out the window, frowning slightly at the clouds slowly rolling across the sky, blocking out the clear sky you'd hoped would be the backdrop to this crucial day.  You cast that aside, choosing instead to focus on what you can control.  Like what exactly you want to say to her.  How you want to convey your feelings to her.

Is this a confession?  A request?  An invitation?  A farewell?  No, you know it's definitely not a farewell.  But you still don't know what exactly you want to tell her.

Actually, that's not entirely true either, because when you’re with her, you can't help but want to talk to her about anything and everything.  But just for today, you hope that you can be greedy.  You hope that you'll somehow find the exact words you need to convey how you feel.  The exact words she needs to hear.  The exact words that'll help you solve this problem.  The exact words she wants to hear.  The exact words that'll steal her heart.

A familiar little robotic voice echoes throughout the bus, informing you that you’ve arrived.  You gather up your blanket, basket, and jacket, then exit the bus and turn to walk towards your destination.

As you slip your sunglasses on, you look around, smiling slightly at the memories resurfacing at the sight of so many familiar shops from your past.  You see the pet store where you cried because your mom wouldn't buy you a chinchilla for your fifth birthday.  You see the small ice cream shop where you celebrated your first soccer tournament victory with your friends.  You see the hair salon where the stylist always teased you for growing out your hair over your ears as a teenager.

And when you turn the corner, you see the bridge where you had your first kiss.  There, standing alone, a familiar flash of gold hides beneath a cap and scarf, and the sight of her finally makes you see the truth.  Waiting for you atop that bridge, you see your first love.

“Of course.”

Your knuckles whiten as they tightly grip the wooden handle of the basket.  You feel your legs attempt to lock up, but you force yourself to break free of anxiety's cold grip and begin to close the distance.  You barely make it onto the small bridge before she perks up at the sound of your footsteps and turns to face you.

“Hey, I'm so sorry for making you wait, I tried to be here as soon as—”

“No, no, don’t worry about it,” Nayeon says, lips upturned in a hint of a smile.  “I’m used to being the first one to arrive and I only got here a couple minutes ago.”

You both pause for a moment, an uncharacteristically awkward silence filling the air between you two as you both search for the right thing to say.

“Thanks for inviting me here,” Nayeon says after a few moments.  “I've never been to this neighborhood before.”

“No, thank you for being willing to come, especially so soon!” you quickly respond.  “I’m sorry for being vague about it earlier, but this is actually where I grew up.”

“Oh really?” Nayeon asks, looking around with a renewed interest.  “I'm sure you have so many stories to tell about this place!”

“Something like that,” you say meekly, looking down at the sidewalk.  Where you remember standing as you kissed your first crush so many years ago.  Where you remember standing as your tears hit the pavement when that same girl said goodbye for the last time.  Where you stand now, hoping that you can convince the best thing that's ever happened to you to stay.

“Well then, where are we going?” Nayeon asks.  “Don't tell me you're going to ask me to cheat on Aunt Kim by going to another noodle shop!”

“Of course not!” you exclaim, feeling your vigor return as you laugh with her.

“That's probably for the best.  I don't suppose it's that ice cream store either?” Nayeon asks excitedly.

“Maybe after,” you say, chuckling at her dramatic pout.

“I did come with a plan for lunch,” you continue, holding up the basket and showing it to her.

“Oh, that's amazing!” Nayeon exclaims, finally closing the distance between you two and hugging you tightly.  “You're the cutest!”

You're initially baffled by Nayeon, who's so much shorter than you, calling you cute, but you're more than willing to bite back your response and simply hold her close.  After a minute or so, you force yourself to pull away.

“Alright, so where are we going?” Nayeon asks as her eyes eagerly explore the area.

“It's about a fifteen-minute walk from here, maybe twenty if you want me to act as a tour guide.”

“I'm in no rush when I'm with you,” Nayeon immediately responds.  “Tell me everything.”

After taking a second to make sure your heart hasn’t overloaded, you extend your hand to her.  “Alright, but only because it's you.  Follow me.”

Nayeon happily obliges, and with her hand in yours, you begin the journey upstream through the sands of time.  You spend the first few minutes of the walk pointing out the local stores and restaurants that you fondly remember, initially avoiding any mention of places associated with less flattering memories.  But as you continue on and grow more comfortable, you begin to share all of the most memorable pieces of your past, much to the delight of Nayeon, who's happy to laugh with and at you as you tell her about the defining moments of your childhood.

After roughly ten minutes, you come to a stop, staring up at one tall, gray building in particular amongst the half-dozen duplicates in the area.

“What about this place?” Nayeon asks, noticing your hesitation.

“This is … the place I grew up,” you explain.  “My parents and I lived in this apartment building until I graduated high school and went off to college.”

“Oh, so this was your home?”

“You could say that, but I don't think of it that way.  This is the place where I lived, but it isn't the place where I made the most memories.”

“Hmm, I think I understand.  Did you have a place you'd call your home instead?”

“I did,” you confirm, gripping her hand tighter.  “We're going there now.”

You continue on, allowing the air to grow quiet as you walk under the canopy of trees hanging over the path between two streets.  After a few minutes of this comfortable contemplation, you speak up.

“I know this is gonna sound weird but hear me out.”

“That's certainly one way to start a conversation,” Nayeon jokes, squeezing your hand slightly.  “But sure, I'm listening.”

“I really appreciate how easy it is to just … enjoy being with you,” you explain.  “How you make me feel comfortable even when we're being quiet, because just being together is enough.”

“Uh huh.  And you wanted to convey this to me by breaking the silence to do so?”

“Listen, I … yeah, I guess so.  I just wanted to let you know how you make me feel.  I'm far from the best with words, as I'm sure you've noticed.”

“I might have,” she jokes, pulling herself closer against your side.  “But I don't think you give yourself enough credit.”

“Oh?  Why do you say that?”

“Because I already knew you felt that way,” Nayeon says, looking up at you with bright eyes and a brighter smile.  “And because I feel the same way too.”

You share a few more minutes of soft silence as you walk along the road, traveling under the canopy until it parts and you see the clouds above.  A couple of streets and turns later, you arrive at your destination.

“This is the park where I used to play soccer,” you explain.  “To your right is where I scored a goal to win a tournament match, and if you look wayyy in the back left, you can see where I made an opponent so angry, he shoved me to the ground and nearly broke my wrist.”

“Oh wow!” Nayeon exclaims, covering her mouth as a snippet of laughter threatens to escape.  “You must have a lot of fond memories of this place.”

“Yeah …” you say, trailing off as you cast your mind back to those times ten, fifteen years ago.  “I made a lot of friends—and enemies—on these fields.”

“Do you still keep in touch with many of them?  Your friends, not your enemies,” she clarifies.

“No, almost none of either group actually,” you admit.  “It gets hard when people move away and college or work takes over your life.  I make sure to stay in contact with one, my best friend from those times, but even that’s a bit of a struggle.  I haven’t seen him in who knows how many years, just talked with him online.”

“I—wow…” Nayeon says, eyes sweeping the empty grass that you’ll always remember as full of life.  “I can’t even imagine being separated from Wooyeon.”

“Well, it’s probably different when you see each other, what, 350 days out of the year?” you point out.

“That’s fair,” she admits, finally releasing that pent-up chuckle.  “Thank you for showing me this, I’m sure it means a lot to you.”

“Of course,” you say, offering her a smile.  “Now I want to show you the place that became my home.”

“Then let’s go!” Nayeon announces, returning your smile and allowing you to lead her across the expanse that seemed endless when you were younger.

Eventually, you reach a small chain link fence, which you follow until you’re met with the familiar sight of a rusted gate with a faded combination lock.

“Let’s hope they haven’t changed this,” you say, mostly to yourself, as you input the code: 090301.

To your great joy—and mild surprise—it unlatches, allowing you to open the gate and lead Nayeon inside.  Within, you easily navigate through the branches and brush, memories coming back in a rush as you delve deeper and deeper.  After about a minute, you arrive, pulling back a branch and allowing Nayeon to pass by you into the small clearing.  Surrounded on all sides by trees, a pair of smooth, plateau-like rocks sit a couple meters from a softly flowing creek, granting you both the solitude that this private sanctum had always blessed you with.

“This is it,” you explain, nearly whispering the words as Nayeon takes in the scene.  “This was … everything, really.  This is where I came when I needed to think, needed to decompress, or … needed to know what I needed, I guess.”

“This is incredible!” Nayeon says, eyes wide as she frenetically scours every centimeter of the area, committing it to memory.  “How did you even find this place?”

“Everyone I’ve ever brought here has asked me that exact question,” you say, a sentimental smile spreading across your face.  “But I’ll tell you the same thing I told the other two; I feel like it honestly found me.  I just … went out looking for a sign of something on a night where I needed direction and found myself here.”

“This is actually the first time I’ve come here since moving away for college,” you continue.  “It’s crazy how as much as things change, they stay the same.”

“I guess so …” Nayeon says, trailing off before turning and meeting your eyes.  “Thank you for bringing me here.  I can tell this place holds a special place in your heart and I deeply appreciate you sharing it with me.”

“Of course,” you say after a moment, struggling to formulate words under the intensity of her gaze.  “You hold a special place in my heart too, so I appreciate you trusting me and coming here with me.”

Nayeon is content to let her smile be her response, so you lay out the blanket across the smooth rocks and take a seat on one, gesturing towards the other.  “Come on, let’s talk.”

“Talk?” she asks, implication obvious in her voice as her eyes harden.

“Talk,” you confirm with a nod.

“Okay,” Nayeon whispers, barely loud enough for you to hear above your pounding heartbeat as she takes a seat beside you.  She shakes her hands like they’ve gone numb, then continues, “Please, tell me what’s going on.  Everything that’s going on.”

“Nayeon, I want to make sure you know something, something very important,” you tell her, earning a nod in response.  “I care about you.  So much.  Maybe too much.  I know I haven’t been returning the warmth that you’ve shared with me, and for that, I am so sorry.”

You pause, release the breath you didn’t realize you were holding, and deeply inhale before continuing, “It’s just—sometimes when I’m with you, negative emotions start building up inside me that feel like a storm threatening to pull me under.  Sometimes, I can’t help but feel jealous when I see you on stage or when you talk about your fans, because it feels like there’s so many of them and I’m just … me.  I feel like they’ve known you longer, seen more of you, and that you can’t help but prioritize them because your job depends on it.  I know I shouldn’t feel this way, and I know that it’s selfish.”

You force yourself to stop and look at her.  She sits patiently, listening attentively as she nods once again, waiting for you to continue.  So, you do.  “I want you to know, more than anything else, that none of this is your fault.  And I am so, so sorry for putting you in this position.  But after you asked me if everything was alright, I knew that I couldn’t hide it from you any longer.  I knew that if I kept this inside, it would boil over and end up hurting you in the process.  And I can’t allow that to happen—I can’t let you get hurt because of how I feel—but I can’t walk away without telling you the truth.  And I know I have no right to do this to you and I understand if you’re upset and if you want me to leave I—”

“Hey, hey, listen to me,” Nayeon says softly, cupping your face in her ever so delicate hands.  “Thank you, so much, for telling me this.  I don’t and won’t ever blame you for feeling those kinds of feelings. I wish I could tell you that I understand and that everything will be alright, but I can't.  Honestly, I probably won’t ever truly be able to.”

“But I need you to trust me when I tell you that you mean everything to me,” she continues.  “And I need you to trust me when I tell you I’m willing to face this problem as long as it’s by your side.  And when I say that we can get through this, together, I mean it with every fiber of my being and all of my heart.  All I can ask is that you put your faith in me, in yourself, and most importantly, in us.  Can you do that for me?”

“Just like that?” you ask, dumbfounded.  “I’m being completely unfair, presenting you with this problem, and you’re somehow still willing to give me more support?”

“For you?  Absolutely,” she responds resolutely.  “I don’t know if I’d ever be able to piece my heart back together if you broke it by leaving.”

“Then yes, I—Yes,” you declare, placing your hands on hers and holding them tightly.  “Absolutely, I can.  I will.  I promise.”

She beams with joy, immediately responding, “Anything for me, right?”

You gently pull her hands away from your face, interweaving your fingers with hers as you tell her, “Of course Nana, it’s always been you.  You’ve been the only thing that matters to me since the moment I saw you.  It’s always been you and always will be.”

You watch as her eyes go wide.  “You’ve never called me that before.”

“I guess so …” you say, trailing off as the realization hits you too.  “I’m sorry if you’d—“

You stop yourself as Nana untangles her fingers from yours in an instant, wrapping her arms around you and squeezing you so tightly that it’s nearly impossible to continue.

“Please say something,” you manage to get out, chuckling awkwardly.  “I kinda just poured my heart and soul out to you and I’d really appreciate you sharing your thoughts.”

“My arms are getting tired from how tightly I’m hugging you and you still need me to tell you what I’m thinking?” Nana scoffs, nuzzling into your chest and refusing to let go.

“Fair point,” you admit, contentedly wrapping your arms around her, though nowhere near as tightly as she’s hugging you.  “Thank you, Nana.”

“For what?  The hug?” she asks, somehow squeezing you even tighter.

“I mean, yes, the hug is amazing, but that isn’t what I meant,” you choke out.  “For being so good to me.  From that first day we met all the way until today, I feel like I’ve been the one with the problem and you’ve been the one with the solution.”

“Maybe, but that won’t always be the case,” Nana responds, loosening her hold on you just enough to allow you to breathe again.  “And if a storm comes and attempts to drag me under, I like to believe you’ll be there, holding on for dear life and refusing to let go.”

You don’t even try to respond verbally, instead releasing your hold on her and using your newly free hand to cup her chin.  As your thumb slowly traces patterns across the soft skin of her cheek, the rest of your body closes what little distance remains between you, allowing you to brush the faintest of kisses onto her lips.  You kiss her gently, tenderly, barely making any contact as your lips land on hers and then depart before she can kiss you back.  You repeat these featherlight flits over and over again, attempting to convey all the feelings you’ve left unsaid.  And finally, when she tightens her hold on you and mewls in frustration, you fervently capture her lips and refuse to be the one who pulls away.

Your conviction ends up just barely lasting long enough for Nana to pull away first, but the light-headedness and dizziness that blocks your view of the only thing you want to be seeing right now is a powerful reminder that oxygen is, in fact, important.  For a short while, the sound of both of you panting is the only sensation that keeps you tethered to consciousness.  But eventually, when you manage to part the darkness and open your eyes, you’re met with the sight of Nana, her chest expanding and contracting just as rapidly as yours as you both amend your oxygen deficits.  And if her smudged lipstick, flushed face, and wild, wide eyes staring into yours are any indication, you’re fairly confident she’s satisfied with your response.

“So … lunch?”

“Just like that?” she asks, dumbfounded.  “You literally take my breath away and that’s all you have to say?”

“Oh, I did have something else!” you remark, acting far more nonchalantly than you feel.  “I love you, Nana.”

It can’t be instantaneous.  But you don’t quite know how it happens either.  Your heart skips a beat when you see a blur of motion in your periphery, then you blink and you’re on the ground with Nana holding you down.  Somewhere around the second or third second of Nana kissing you, it finally connects in your mind.  She actually just tackled you off the rock.

“I—love—you—too,” Nana tells you, whispering each word into your ear in the moments between her own featherlight kisses.  Your heart soars at her reciprocation of your feelings, and as soon as she decides the time for words is over, you’re more than happy to oblige.  She melts into you as you wrap your arms around her back and return her kiss, matching her fervor and maybe even exceeding it.  You both know to pull away much sooner than you did last time, respecting the harsh lesson your bodies had given you.

“You know, a little warning would be nice,” you tease, smiling up at her.

“You’re one to talk!” Nana exclaims, hitting your chest with one small hand as she fans her crimson visage with the other.  “Don’t you know that it’s downright irresponsible to just drop something on me like that?”

“To be fair, I was under the impression that we both expected you to be the responsible one here,” you say, bringing out your puppy eyes and painting faux innocence across every centimeter of your face.

“I … you … ugh!” she grumbles, a rainbow of emotions flashing across her face before she finally leans away from you.  “Yes dear, lunch sounds wonderful.”

It’s right then when you realize another thing that makes Nana special.  She makes your cheeks hurt with how much you smile around her.  And even minutes later, after you’ve both gotten up, unpacked the basket, and you’ve both begun to eat the home cooked meals out of the little plastic containers they’re stored in, the smile she so easily coaxes out of you hasn’t left your face.

“I didn’t get to say it earlier after you blindsided me, but thank you too,” Nana says midway through your meal.

“Blindsided is a bit rich coming from you, the only person here who literally tackled the other, but I digress,” you respond, smiling warmly at her amused smirk.  “What for?”

“For being my friend,” she says, turning away from you and staring into the woods.  “It’s … hard to make friends as an idol.  There are so many expectations for how we’re meant to behave and we’re often too busy to really spend time with others.  I really appreciate your willingness to be flexible and even come to our performances, especially now that I know how it was affecting you …”

“Of course, I’m always happy to be flexible, it’s for you,” you tell her, taking her hand in yours.  “Even if you’re only able to spare a few minutes after each performance, I’m sure we could make it work.”

“But it doesn’t have to only be then, that’s not fair to either of us,” she says, squeezing your hand back.  “Days like this are worth clearing my schedule for.”

“Wait, you cleared your schedule for today?  To see me?  Yesterday?  Before you even knew if I was available?” you ask, receiving a quartet of nods in response.

“That’s why I took so long to respond yesterday, I was running around taking care of all my responsibilities in the dorm and doing the choreography practice I’d planned to do today,” Nana explains.  “I trusted that you’d make it work.  When I saw your text that early in the morning, I figured that you hadn’t been able to sleep either.”

“Wow … I … didn’t even realize … thank you for doing so much for me,” you say, idly tracing circles against the back of her hand.  “But truly, I am always happy to see you, regardless of time or circumstance.  I’m really looking forward to seeing you perform in the future; it’ll be nice to be able to really enjoy you doing what you love without jealousy blinding me.”

“That’s great to hear!” she responds, turning back and smiling at you.  “You taking the time to come see us means so much to me … the first thing I do whenever I get on stage is find you in the crowd.”

“Oh, I—oh.  Thank you,” you say, grateful that you manage to reply before those words join the rest in vacating your mind.

“Of course!” Nana responds, smiling warmly at you before you both return to your lunch.  After you both finish your meals, you look up to the sky, grimacing as you see the consolidation of the clouds as they blot out the sun.

“Hey, Nana,” you say, pointing up to the sky as she turns to you.  “We should definitely get going before we end up stuck in the rain.”

“Okay,” she says, nodding resolutely.  “Let’s get packed up and go.”

You both work together in harmony, loading the containers back into the basket in a fraction of the time it took to unload them.  You take her hand once more, hastily leading her along the trails and roads you've traversed alone countless times.

“We might have to skip the ice cream today,” you tell Nana as you both quickly walk down the streets that house so many memories.

“Oh no!  I guess you'll just have to make it up to me later …” Nana responds, smiling in understanding.

A minute or so later, just as the first few drops of rain begin to fall like your tears that night on the bridge, you arrive at the bus stop.

“This is where I need to get on the bus,” you say to Nana.  “Where are you going, can I call you a taxi?  Were you intending on someone picking you up?  What's the plan?”

Nana smiles in a very particular way, the same way she always seems to smile whenever she realizes that she knows something you don't.  “I'm going wherever you're going.  That's been my plan for a long, long time now.”

You're grateful for the rain, as the sounds of its fall are the only sounds to be found in the seconds that pass before you're able to respond.  You wrap your jacket around her shoulders, sheltering her from the cold as you stare directly into her eyes and tell her, “I … I don't know what I did to deserve the trust you put in me, but I'm incredibly grateful for it.  I promise you that I will never take it for granted.  I promise you, with every fiber of my being and all of my heart, that I will never break that trust.”

“I know,” Nana responds, her whispered words bouncing between the raindrops before barely reaching your ears.  “You showed me your heart today, the least I can do is give you mine.”

You pull Nana close and gently rest your forehead against hers.  Each falling raindrop and each flowing teardrop helps you paint the picture, telling her the thousands of words you can’t verbalize but need her to know.  In this shared moment, as echoes of your past remind you of those sorrowful tears shed so many years ago, your joyful ones return you to the present and the gift in your arms.  So, at least in this moment, you hold Nana tight, vowing to never let her go.

You pull away only when the bus arrives a few minutes later but remain hand in hand as you walk forward.  After stepping on, paying for both of your fares, and finding a pair of seats, you pull out a pair of earbuds and offer Nana one.  She's more than happy to accept, and as she rests her head on your shoulder and you queue up a series of serene love songs from your favorite artists, you hope their words can do a better job of telling Nana how much you love her.

tick…

tock…

“We're here,” you whisper to Nana, gently shaking her awake.  “Just take my hand, I'll lead you home.”

“Okay,” she murmurs, interweaving her fingers with yours and following you through the bus, down the steps, and into the monsoon that immediately jolts her back into consciousness.

“Oookaaayyyy, I'm up!” Nana declares, pulling your jacket tight against her small frame.  “Lead the way, I don't think these pants are gonna do much against a storm like this!”

You take off immediately, leading her as quickly as you can down the sidewalks before eventually stopping at an interaction where you ask her, “But really, why does it always seem like your outfits are in no way at all suited to the weather?”

“Because my outfit looks cute!” Nana exclaims indignantly.  “And you of all people should be glad that’s my priority!”

“Of course, you're right,” you respond, kissing her on the nose in apology.  “Then again, I'm convinced you'd make anything look good, but I do genuinely appreciate that you care and that you put thought into your outfits.  It makes me feel special.”

The crosswalk finally flashes green, and you take off once again, leading Nana towards your apartment as she scolds you.  “Seriously, you can't just keep saying things like that so casually!  There are at least four heartwarming things in that statement that make me want to kiss you, but your question was so stupid that I still kinda want to slap you!  And this stupid rain isn’t helping anything at all!  And I’m cold!  Ugh!”

You're grateful that you're ahead of Nana, because you know that if she sees the goofy smile on your face, you'll be in big trouble.  “Okay dear, I'm sorry I made you feel that way,”  you respond, speaking in the most soothing tone possible.  “We’re almost to my apartment, where it’ll be n-nice and warm, and w-we’ll make everything better.  I p-promise.”

Neither of you speak another word for the remainder of your mad dash, too busy fighting off the shivers to do so.  After a few more minutes, you arrive back at your home, where you tear the key from your pocket, hurriedly unlock the door, and shepherd her inside.

“O-Okay, I’m g-going to start the sh-shower f-for you and g-grab a dry set of clothes for y-you to change into, please f-feel free to d-discard that j-jacket l-literally anywhere,” you manage to tell Nana, taking off as she begins to do as you request.

You fight off the shivers as you quickly dash around your apartment, flipping the shower on and grabbing yourself a towel before darting into your bedroom and grabbing some dry clothes for both of you, then returning to Nana.

“Okay, t-the shower should b-b-be nice and h-hot, and there’s a c-clean towel in t-t-there y-you can u-use,” you stammer as you round the corner.  “H-Here’s something t-to … change … into …”

Your voice escapes you as you see her, back turned as she watches the rain mercilessly paint the cobblestone.  You first see the soaked cotton of her top and how it shakes as her small figure shivers in the cold.  But that isn’t what catches your eye and leaves you dizzy.  It’s the way her pants have tightened, showcasing the sculpted definition of her thighs and how they flow upwards to display the perfectly round curve of her ass.

As she turns, you force yourself to pull your gaze upwards, feeling your face flush as your pulse continues to quicken.  You drag your eyes up her body, past her toned stomach that hides beneath the sopping garments, past her pert breasts and stiff nipples that strain against the soaked fabric, past her shaking shoulders and kissable neck and diamond jawline and roseate lips and adorable nose until finally you meet those chocolate eyes that stare back at you.

“T-Thank you s-s-soooo m-much,” Nana responds, fighting off her own shivers as she takes the clothes from you, then darts off towards the warmth awaiting her, leaving you frozen in more ways than one.

You do your best to ignore how difficult it is to remove your soaked pants, especially as they cling to your skin and especially because of your hardening erection that’s impossible to miss.  After removing all of your drenched attire and placing the dripping bundle alongside the jacket you loaned Nana, you attempt to dry yourself off, saturating the towel with frigid water far quicker than you’d hoped you would.  Once you’re sure that you’ve gotten your money’s worth, you add the towel to the pile in the sink, then put on the pajamas you’d grabbed and turn up the thermostat to its highest setting.

Once you're confident that you’ve done all you can, you collapse, couch creaking in protest at the impact.  In this moment to breathe, the events of the day begin to hit you, flashing across your mind in sync with the droplets of rain against your window.  You think of all the places that defined your childhood.  You think of faces long forgotten.  You think of faces you’ll never forget.  You think of echoes.  You think of her atop that bridge.  You think of her atop that bridge.  You think of all the words that escaped your lips.  You think of Nana’s small hands lifting the weight of the world off your shoulders.  You think of her body on top of yours as she pinned you down with kisses.  You think of her body.  You think of the cold.  You think of heat.  You think of your soaked clothes clinging to your skin.  You think of Nana’s soaked clothes clinging to her skin.  You think of Nana, dripping wet.  You think of Nana, dripping wet.

As you stare out the window, your mind vaguely registers the sound of a hair dryer.  But soon even that sense joins the others, consumed with the thoughts of Nana.  One storm for another.  You’re not even sure if the words escape your lips.

The door opens, and you get up to face Nana.  She’s radiant, each strand of gold and each centimeter of porcelain glowing in the dim light of your apartment.  She’s wearing glasses.  She’s wearing your favorite shirt.  She’s wearing nothing else.

“Hey,” she whispers, somehow slotting seventy emotions into that single syllable as it floats over to you.

You've always viewed Nana as pretty.  She's always been cute.  She'll never not be beautiful.  But as you fight off the arctic chill that permeates your bones, you realize you've never looked at her this way.  You can't help but notice how hot she is.  You see Nana as sexy for the first time.

“Hey,” she calls again, tilting her head and leaning to the side.  It’s unfair, the way she sinks against the doorframe.  It’s immoral, the way she makes herself look even smaller as she hides in the folds of your shirt.  It’s incomprehensible, the way the wide rims of her glasses make her pleading eyes look even bigger.  It’s criminal, the way she hides her intent behind that innocent smile.

“Are you just gonna sit there with your jaw on the floor for the rest of the night, or are you going to say something?”

“N-Nana, if you could s-see what I see, y-you’d be speechless t-too,” you manage to get out, unable to suppress the shivers as you respond.

“Well, you could walk into the bathroom that I might have sorta turned into a sauna,” Nana offers, the smallest of smiles beginning to show.

“Or …” she continues, taking her time as she closes the distance between you two.  “I could warm you up …”

Your arms wrap around her instinctually as she presses her body against you.  You can feel the sculpted frame hidden beneath the oversized shirt.  You can feel the tension.  You can feel the heat.  And as your eyes drift down to her lips, you can feel your reservations flying out the window to join the falling rain.

You kiss her.  Gently.  Delicately.  And she shoves you backwards onto the couch.

“Absolutely not,” Nana declares, climbing into your lap.  She wraps her arms around your neck, licking her lips hungrily before pulling you close.  Within a second of her claiming your lips with her own and beginning to grind against your lower half, any questions you might have had join your reservations on the pavement outside.  You match her intensity, running your tongue along her lips patiently, then expectantly, and claim her mouth as soon as she lets you in.  Your hands roam, dragging your fingers like ice cubes across her hips and down her thighs as she hisses into your mouth.

You work your way up her body, past her waistline and under your her shirt.  You travel further, past the lean abs she’s worked so hard to sculpt, across the ridges and valleys of her expanding and contracting rib cage, all the way until the tips of your fingers brush the sensitive underside of her breasts.  The whimper that escapes her mouth into yours is immediate.  It’s needy.  It’s pathetic.  It’s the hottest sound you’ve ever heard.

The soft, malleable skin becomes a pair of perfect handfuls as you explore the fringes of Nana’s breasts, sending sparks through her synapses and shockwaves down her spine.  You break away from her kiss, just for a moment, just long enough to watch her collapse onto you as you finally knead her swollen nipples between your fingers.  You take the opportunity to access the curve of her neck, mentally noting where earns the loudest moans as you suck, kiss, and nip the sensitive skin.

“Look at you, so desperate,” you whisper into her ear, grinding your hips against hers and forcing her to moan.  “I’ve barely even touched you, but somehow you’re even more drenched than earlier.”

“And you know what’s the worst part?” you murmur, stretching a single second across the tension before continuing.  “That’s nothing compared to what you’re doing to me.  I’ve never been so hard in my fucking life.”

“You—you’re—OH!!!”

You know what you’re doing when you latch onto that particular spot on the base of her neck; that her response is going to be lost, lost in the sound of her moan echoing against your walls.  But you also know what she wanted to verbalize, what her body has been telling you as it tenses up even further.  So, when you feel her shaking, on the precipice, you’re more than willing to lend a hand.  You’re happy to detach from her breast, brushing against her sensitive folds with the back of your hand.  And so, when you’re kind enough to simply graze her clit with an icy fingernail, you also make sure to hold her as she comes undone.

The first orgasm you give Nana is a cinematic experience, with a soundtrack of the most ungodly of moans alongside her quivering limbs and the deathly grip on your shoulders as if you’re the only thing keeping her afloat.  You gently trace circles along her back, whispering sweet nothings into her ear and holding her as she rides out the high.  You wait, long after the quivering has ceased and she’s unclenched her hands, long enough for her to meet your eyes and show you that the fog has lifted.

“Hey,” you murmur, goofy grin growing wider as you see her eyes flash with outrage.

“You can’t keep doing this!” Nana exclaims, huffing in frustration when all you have to offer is your gleaming smile.  “You can’t just blow my mind and change my life and end it with a ‘Hey’!”

“Who said that was the end?” you ask, humor discarded as your tone drops.  “You did what you said you would, now we’re both hot and bothered.”  You look into her eyes, see the recognition and excitement.  Then, you see the desire reignite as you thrust upwards, teasing her sex with only a bit of friction.  “What are you going to do about it?”

Nana meets the challenge with equal passion, whispering into your ear, “I’m going to show you a side of me that no one has ever seen before.”

Having adequately spiked your blood pressure, Nana climbs off you, moving with idol-like grace as she sashays towards your bedroom door.  Having reached the end of the runway, she turns, throwing off her shirt and modeling her pristine form for you.  She’s divine.  You somehow tear your eyes away from her flawless figure, staring instead into her molten eyes.  She captures her bottom lip between her teeth, slowly dragging them across the soft, pink skin before twisting her innocuous expression into one of sinister glee.  She’s sin incarnate.

Then, she’s gone, retreated back into your bedroom.  You’re off the couch in a blur, flinging off your shirt and pajama bottoms, discarding the soaked pieces of clothing as they join the rest.  You round the corner, entering your bedroom, and you have to pinch yourself to make sure you aren’t dreaming.

You’ve seen Nana dozens of times at this point, seen her in outfits ranging from luxury goods to school uniforms to casual attire to athletic wear.  You’ve seen her when doted on by professional stylists, just after a dance practice, and everywhere in-between.  But when you see her here, in your bed, wearing nothing but a smile and absolutely glistening in anticipation, you swear your heart stops.

You climb onto the bed; you climb on top of her.  You kiss her.  Not lightly, not lustfully, but lovingly.  And when she kisses you back, you feel that exact same longing.  Despite the sincerity in the kiss, you don’t feel the heat in the room diminish at all.  No, you just realize it’s everburning.

You pull away.  Barely.  Just enough room for words.  Just far enough to see her eyes.

“No interruptions this time, it's just you and me,” you murmur, causing her to shudder in anticipation right up until a thunderclap echoes throughout the apartment and makes you both jump.

“We really need to work on our timing, don’t we?” Nana jokes, harmonious laughter escaping her as you see her anticipation, affection, and arousal merge, forming the euphoric expression she wears earnestly.

“Yeah, so maybe one interruption,” you say, laughing along with her until her mess of giggles comes to an end.  

“But you are mine, Nana,” you whisper, your hot breath inflaming her senses as each syllable reaches her ears.  “I am yours, and tonight belongs to no one else.  Just us.  Tonight is ours.”

“Perfect,” she whispers back, that single word a lit match she drops directly into your heart.  “What now?”

“Show me,” you say, rolling you both and flipping your positions so she’s atop you.  You give her control.  Earnestly.  You give her your trust.  Easily.  You give her your all.  You give her everything.

When she takes your length in her hand, giving you your first hints of pleasure, you groan in relief.  When she lines you up with her entrance and drips arousal onto your tip, you inhale through your teeth, hissing as if you’d been burned.  And when she lowers herself onto you and takes you inside her, it literally takes your breath away.

“Fuuuck…” Nana hisses, sending your heart rate into the stratosphere.  “It feels … so … fucking … amazing …”

“You’re incredible Nana,” you growl through gritted teeth, hands latching onto her hips and gripping tighter than you probably should.  But any expectation of you being perfectly in control of yourself is entirely unreasonable when she’s moving like this, taking you deeper and deeper into her warmth at an agonizingly slow pace.  You can’t help it; her face, her body, the way she quivers - you can’t tear your eyes away, not when you see the beads of sweat splattered across her furrowed brow.  Not when you can practically hear the grinding of her tensed jaw.  And certainly not when her closed eyelids hide those rich chocolate eyes.

“Take your time,” you whisper soothingly.  “No need to rush, I’ll stay here forever as long as it’s with you.”  You see some of the tension evaporate from her shoulders, but that does nothing for the vice grip she still has around your cock.  Her progress accelerates slightly, taking on more and more of you with each passing moment before finally, finally your hips collide.

“There we go,” Nana mumbles, reopening her eyes and regaining a bit of that hubris you’ve come to know and … like.  Having finally reached her destination, you can see the gears turning in Nana’s head as she starts to experiment, rolling her hips against yours and exploring all the possible sensations she can experience.  One particular angle catches you off guard, causes you to moan even louder than before.  You see it in her eyes, see how they immediately ignite.  She repeats the motion, ripping another of those moans from deep within your chest as you see that gleefully sinister smile return.

The image of Nana bouncing up and down on your cock is obscene yet puts all other art to shame with its beauty.  You simultaneously appreciate and despise her dancing background as she moves with unyielding precision.  She places her hands on your shoulders as she continues exploring, utilizing her flexibility and strength to adjust her position and flex her muscles in ways you’d never thought possible, much less experienced.

“Oh my god Nana …” Your words trail off, lost to the pleasures of her latest findings, but they fan the flames all the same.

“Tell me how good that feels,” Nana purrs, punctuating her point by sliding herself back down onto the base of your cock.  Then again.  And again.  And again.

“It feels so—FUCK!—ing good,” you manage to choke out, throwing your head back in pleasure.  Almost instantly, Nana grabs you by the chin, pulling you forward and making it impossible to look anywhere else.

“Don’t you dare look anywhere else,” she growls, sending a new sensation down your spine as her ceaseless riding continues to chip away at your sanity.  “Tell me how I make you feel.”

“You—ugh!” Words escape you, your mind unable to comprehend things other than pleasure and pain and Nana.  Your grip tightens, tight enough to bruise, as you desperately try to cling to something, anything.  “You feel amazing.”

“What else?” Nana asks, picking up the pace.

“You drive me insane,” you tell her, sparing her hips further punishment as you focus on her breasts once again.

“Tell me more,” she demands, riding you even faster.

“You’re unbelievable!” you yell, mustering what little oxygen remains as you match her volume.

“More.”  Even faster.

“You’re perfect,” you say, voice dropping as her pitch rises.

“More!”  Faster.

“I love how you make me feel.”  Even quieter.

“More, more!!” she demands greedily, hips bouncing at a delirious pace as her face tenses once more.

“I love you Nana,” you whisper sweetly.  But you refuse to let the sentiment disrupt the moment, following her hips up as you thrust into her and throw off her rhythm.  “Cum for me.”

“FUCK—”

Nana somehow manages the impossible, staring through you with misty eyes as she succumbs to pleasure, drenching your lower half and the sheets below in her nectar as her orgasm violently overtakes her.  It takes everything you have to remain motionless, cock painfully throbbing as you try not to overwhelm her.  Each of you experiences the seconds as if they were lifetimes, you on the verge of pleasure and her well over the edge of it.

“You didn’t cum?” Nana asks, shifting slightly in your lap and forcing you to bite the inside of your cheek to keep from exploding inside her right then.  She raises herself off of you, maintaining eye contact the entire time she moves away and positions herself between your legs.  As she leans forward, opening her mouth and letting her warm breaths torment your torturously erect shaft further, she has the audacity to wink at you.

“Time to change that.”

The sight of her fucking tongue teasing the sensitive skin of your cock all the way from base to head is ungodly, and you know immediately, no camera flash required, that this image will be burned into your mind for all eternity.  It’s almost demeaning how casually she destroys you, idly wrapping her fingers around your shaft as her tongue begins to swirl around the head of your cock.  “Fucking hell Nana …”

If your words affect her, she’s doing a damned good job hiding it, drooling unapologetically all over the fingers that twist and pump your shaft, priming it as her mouth continues to work its way further and further down.  And all the while, the entire time she molds you to her desires like putty in her hands, she holds your eyes.  Lovingly.  Expectantly.  Enticingly.  

“I’m close …” You try to warn her, but her hum in response sends an all-new type of shock all the way down your shaft, cutting off any further waste of oxygen.  Your hands tangle into your sheets, threatening to shred them in your grip as you fight to keep the desire to let loose and absolutely defile her throat.  “I’m gonna—”

Nana ignores your words, listening to the signs of your body as she delicately unwraps her small hand from around your shaft.  The faintest flicker of disappointment flashes in the back of your mind, but it’s immediately eradicated as Nana forces herself downwards, catching you completely off-guard as she takes you into her throat, consuming you entirely.

“NANA!!”  She rips her name out from deep within you, sending you soaring over the edge of orgasm as you are unmade by pleasure.  Your body tenses and contracts, overwhelming pleasure pulsating from head to toe and every centimeter in between.  Wave after wave after wave after wave of your cum fires into her mouth, but you’re unable to bear witness as your eyelids shield you from the unholy sight.  It’s so much, so fast, that it drives you to the perfect intersection of pain and pleasure, leaving you unable to do anything but feel.

Eventually, your orgasm comes to an end, as all things must.  The first thing you do is open your eyes to see Nana, mouth still snugly around your cock as she swallows the last of drops of your deluge.  The second thing you do is remember to breathe.  You watch as she detaches herself from your cock, then joins you, for the second time today, in an agonizing minute of shaking shoulders and heaving chests as you both attempt to force enough oxygen into your lungs to be able to speak.  Fortunately, you’re both able to.  You just happen to do so first.

“So … dinner?  Or are you good … after …”

“I’m actually going to murder you,” she mutters, and you don’t even try to stop the laughter that forces its way out.

“You know, I was going to be upset at you for the whole ‘not maintaining eye contact’ thing,” Nana says with a smile of her own, climbing up the bed to lay against your side.  “But considering I’m the one that made you nearly black out, I’ll give you a pass this time.”

“Yeah, sorry about that,” you offer, smiling sheepishly as you wrap an arm around her.  “But you were—”

“Yeah, uh …” she interjects, trailing off as her rapid pulse quickly delivers a crimson flush to her cheeks.  “I don’t know … it was just really nice—and really hot—to hear you say those things about me.”

“Any time,” you say as you lean in, gently kissing her on the crown of her head.  “By the way, did you … I didn’t really see …”

“Oh, this?” Nana asks, opening her mouth wide to show you the tongue and walls, unbesmirched by white.  “I’m sure you agree that was pretty hot, but I guess that means you don’t wanna—”

You roll over slightly, propping yourself up on your elbows as you climb over her once more, leaning down and cutting her sentence short as you capture her lips.  A small squeak of surprise escapes before she matches your passion, wrapping her arms around your neck as your tongues begin to dance.  As the intensity rises your heartbeat follows suit, sending blood all throughout your body and especially one place in particular.

“Not done, huh?” Nana murmurs, capturing your bottom lip between her teeth and gently sucking on it as she looks at you with her seductress’ gaze.

“For you?  Never,” you murmur back, intent and invitation clear in your eyes.

“We’ll have to test that sometime …” Nana responds, mirth and mischief manifesting in her smile as she releases your lip.  “For now though … show me.”

The kiss you leave on her lips is fleeting, acting more as a palate cleanser than any declaration or escalation.  You grab a pillow with one hand, lifting Nana up with the other and placing it under the small of her back as you set the stage.  With a bit of additional leverage gained and anticipation built, you line yourself up with her entrance, looking to Nana who nods in confirmation as you enter her once again.

You push further into her slowly, eager to reach the previous round’s intensity but mindful of her pleasure as her tightness suffocates your shaft.  Ravenous for more, you lean in, greeted by the mixed scents of coconuts and cherry blossoms and sweat and everything else about her that makes your head spin.  You’re quick to attack her neck again, latching onto one of the many spots you noted earlier and sucking relentlessly.

“Wait wait wait, no marks!” Nana exclaims, placing her hands on your shoulders and pushing you away from your target.

“I’m so sorry, I should have—” Your apology grinds to a halt as Nana, sinful gaze meeting your own, delicately lays a single finger against your lips.

“No … visible marks,” she clarifies, smirking seductively as she lowers her arms and offers you free reign once more.

You’re more than happy to seize the opportunity, capturing one of her nipples between your teeth and beginning your oral assault as you suck, swirl, and tease her with your tongue.  One hand begins exploring her body, creating only the tiniest bit of contact as it glides over each area of her flawless skin, searching for unexpected pleasure points anywhere you can reach.

“Be vocal,” you murmur, breath rolling like fog over her breast.  “I want nothing more than to know every single spot on your body that drives you wild.”

You see out of the corner of your eyes Nana opening her mouth, as if to respond, but as your hips collide once more and you fully bury your length inside of her, a deep, heady moan bulldozes through her best laid plans and tears free instead.  As you begin to thrust faster, deeper, you sink your other hand below her waistline, searching only a moment before finding the sensitive bud of her clit and adding it to your list of ministrations.

“Tell me Nana, tell me what feels good,” you say, soothing voice a stark contrast to the frenetic pace at which you chase her pleasure.

“Your fucking mouth, I love how you suck on my—ugh!” Another day, you’d feel cruel for cutting her off so rudely, but honestly, who could blame you for doing what she asks?  “And the way you feel inside me, thrusting in so deep …”  This time, it’s a sharp intake of air, but you’re happy to earn another moan as you thrust deep inside her again.  Then again, for good measure.  One more time.  “And I love the way you … with your hand … on my thigh … yesssss …”  You’ll have to make a special note for that one, apparently figure eights are the best pattern to trace along the inside of her thighs.  Who knew?

You get lost in the perfection that is Nana, thrusting wildly as you ride the high all the way up to the summit.  You mar her flawless skin with marks of desire, leave little reminders of pleasure where no one else will see them.  You feast on her skin, attempting to satiate a hunger you both know will never be sated.  Your hands roam as well, acting with a mind of their own as one roams every uncharted inch of her skin while the other stays glued between her thighs, toying mercilessly with her most sensitive area.  It’s plenty for you to keep track of, but if Nana’s reactions are anything to go by, it’s bordering on too much for her to handle.

Time’s a relative thing in general, but here, in the bedroom with Nana, there’s no eternity better spent.  You chase your pleasures together, call and response, back and forth, her and you, united as one.  You cherish the opportunity to care for Nana for once, bringing her pleasure in as many ways as possible.  “Fuck!”  You seek those profanities.  “Oh god—”  You crave those indecencies.  “You’re gonna make me …”  You hunt her peaks, and as she thrashes, shakes, quivers, and cries in your arms, you’re there to hold her the whole way down.

“Nana, I’m getting close,” you tell her, growing delirious as pleasure begins to overwhelm you.  “Where—”

“I swear to god if you cum anywhere other than inside of me …” Nana threatens, though her glassy eyes and lolled tongue diminish the impact a bit.

You feel Nana’s legs wrap around your waist, pulling you in as her arms do the same.  Her lips claim yours, capturing any senses that weren’t already completely overwhelmed by her and her alone.  As you lean into her, tongues dancing as your body disconnects from your mind, pleasure shoots through your veins like a shot or seventy of adrenaline.  If you were any more coherent, you might’ve been able to enjoy the details, like the way your cock’s twitching or the way Nana shudders slightly each time you fire another shot into her or the way you keep pumping, refusing to let any of your cum go anywhere but as deep as you can fuck it inside her.  Unfortunately, all you experience is the taste of Nana on your lips and the red, foggy haze of rapture that permeates your fucking soul.  Unlucky, really.

Your orgasm ends, eventually.  You force yourself to pull away, force yourself to focus so that you can see the elated expression of a well-fucked Nana.  There’s the faintest hint of tears in the corners of her eyes, each one earned at her own apex of pleasure.  You withdraw further, pulling out of her fully, then lay beside her and pull her into your arms.

“Hey there beautiful, you alright?”

“Not the word I would use,” Nana murmurs into your chest.  “We should get caught in the rain more often …”

Once again, quiet laughter escapes you, as it always seems to when you’re with Nana.  “I’ll keep that in mind,” you promise.  “In the meantime, we should probably get cleaned up and showered.”

“Not yet …” Nana groans, lightly smacking you like you’re an alarm clock disrupting her beauty sleep.

“Okay okay, no rush,” you respond, pulling her close and allowing the sounds of the gentle rain to fill the room.  You treasure the tranquility, basking in the simple sensations of her hands in yours and her soft breaths against your chest.  Many stanzas later, the storm’s song softens, then slowly comes to a close, but you stay there together, finding solace in each other’s embrace.  Eventually, once Nana’s fully recovered, you get up to turn the shower on and begin grabbing things, giving her everything she needs: tissues, wipes, water, hugs, kisses, and your undivided attention.

“I know this is an incredibly egotistical question, but can you walk?” you ask, smiling sheepishly as she rolls her eyes.  “Or do you want me to carry you?”

“Yes, I can, but carry me anyways,” Nana declares, throwing open her arms and waiting expectantly.

“As you wish,” you declare with a flourish, bowing deeply before scooping Nana into your arms and carrying her bridal style into the bathroom.

“Showering together?” she asks suggestively and shamelessly.

“Showering together,” you reply warmly, setting her down and testing the water.  “Let me spoil you for a bit, no need to rush.”

“Very well,” she accepts, stepping into the shower.  “Now hurry and get in here so I don’t have to warm you up all over again.”

“Yes ma’am,” you respond, climbing in after her.  You’ve never been more grateful for your replacement shower head and its absurd water pressure, though you make sure to get close to Nana just in case.

Even as you two rinse yourselves off, you can’t help but be mesmerized by the water flowing down Nana’s perfect figure.  You watch as the many drops coat each long strand of her flowing golden locks, run down each beautiful feature that comprises her face, then finally succumbs to gravity after tracing every last millimeter of her jawline.  From there, you follow their journey as they land on her collarbone and continue on into sacred territory.  Thousands of individual droplets gently caress the curvature of her breasts as they pass by, while thousands more race down the soft skin of the arms and hands that inspire so many fans to dream of their embrace.  For those droplets lucky enough to remain attached after traveling past her abs and below her waist, a pair of gently toned legs defined by years upon years of dance await.  Finally, between the pale skin of her inner thighs, the perfectly shaven holy place of indecent desires and fantasies awaits a lucky few.  Lucky you.

“You’re staring again,” Nana says, breaking you out of your reverie as she smiles shyly.

“Nana, I absolutely am,” you admit freely, shamelessly.  “You’re right here in front of me and I still can’t believe you’re real.”

“Oh, um … thanks,” Nana mumbles, turning away from you just as you see a familiar splash of crimson.

“You’re welcome, now hold still,” you tell her, grabbing a bottle of conditioner and squeezing some into your hand.  “Let me wash your hair.”

“Oh!  I mean, okay …”

You spread the viscous liquid across your hands, then begin massaging it into the many, many strands of gold that flow together and form her hair.  “This conditioner worked wonderfully back when I had lighter highlights, so hopefully it should be fine for you too.”

You trail off, focusing on the task at hand and the silk between your fingertips, but you can’t help but add, “But I wouldn’t mind buying some of whatever you normally use and keeping it here … just in case.”

Nana turns back, glaring at you for a moment before allowing you to continue.  “That’s a sentence with a whole lot of implications, but you’re cute so I’ll let you get away with it.”

“Good to know!  I promise to not use that information responsibly,” you jest, grinning uncontrollably as Nana huffs in indignation.  “Okay, let that sit for a couple minutes before rinsing it out.”

Nana turns, stepping closer to you and keeping her hair out of the waterflow as she does so.  “Can I wash yours?”

“Of course,” you tell her, handing her the bottle before closing your eyes and leaning down to allow her easier access.

“Thank you …” she murmurs.  After a few anticipatory moments in the dark, you feel her hands start working their way across your head, massaging you and coating your own strands in that same liquid that you apply on a daily basis, but have never experienced like this.

A whine slips past your lips as she finishes and pulls away, causing a score of giggles to emerge as you open your eyes to see the adorable, joyous expression of Nana’s smiling face.  “So, what’s next?”

“I’m going to wash my body with this,” you tell her, holding up a bottle of body wash as you hand her a different one.  “And you can wash yourself with that, because if I end up putting my hands all over your body, we’re never getting out of here.”

“You’re probably right,” Nana admits, mischief taking over her smile.  “However …”

“You’re not the one paying the water bill, shush!” you exclaim, turning away and beginning to lather yourself up.  Nana’s laughter rings out once more, reverberating off the tight walls of your shower as she too begins to wash herself of the improprieties that cover every centimeter of each of your bodies.

Somehow, you both manage to behave, rinsing yourselves off before getting out and toweling yourselves dry.  Nana sits as you brush her hair like Rapunzel, blow drying it slowly as you meticulously work your way through her golden mane.  It isn’t easy to find a comfortable set of clothes for her to wear, but with a pair of rolled pant legs and a hair-tied shirt, you’re able to make do.  Together, you eagerly order delivery from your favorite chicken restaurant, and while you’re waiting, begin the process of cleaning up.

Nana helps you strip your sheets, the most traumatized victims of your shared endeavors, off your bed, then assists you in wrangling a new set onto the mattress.  Your heart glows with warmth at how right it feels to perform such a mundane household activity with her, even as the fitted sheet snaps up once again and nearly hits you in the face.  Nana’s laughter rings out first, but yours is close behind, warding off any frustration as you enjoy the little simplicities of spending time with her.  You both clean up your kitchen, sending your soaked clothes to join your laundry as hers go into the wash, cleansing them of the rain’s influence as you both settle on the couch.

“I think that’s everything we needed to take care of,” you say, just as a thought crosses your mind.  “Do we need to get you some—”

“Don’t worry, I’ve been taking precautions for a bit.  You know, just in case,” Nana tells you, tone relaxed but eyes alight with mischief.

“You—what—just in case?!” you sputter.  “Since when?!”

“That night Wooyeon walked in on us,” Nana remarks casually.  “I wasn’t gonna let you kiss me like that without finishing the job.”

You’re frozen in silence, unsure whether to follow-up with confusion, accusations, questions, gratitude, or something else entirely, but the familiar cadence of the delivery man’s knocks on the door saves you from needing an answer.  After enjoying your meals and making some light conversation, you both end up on your insanely comfy couch, curled up together under your stupidly soft blanket as Nana selects another movie, this time opting for a cheesy romance flick that she swears is different from the rest.  Ultimately, she’s not wrong, as any experience shared with Nana ends up being far more enjoyable than the alternatives, and you end up enjoying yourself quite a bit.  You lay with her, laugh with her, and hold her close as you wipe away her tears.

Enthralled by Nana and her investment in the movie, you barely even notice as the hours pass, the clouds dissipate, and the sun shines bright for a fleeting flash before disappearing below the skyline.  It’s not until the movie finishes, fading to black for the final time, that you note the darkness that’s overtaken the world outside your little corner of paradise.  After confirming with her other members that she’s free tomorrow, Nana joins you getting ready for bed.

“Here, this has barely been used,” you tell her, handing her a toothbrush and smiling as a thought enters your mind.  “I guess I’ll just have to get you one of those too.”

“You just might have to,” Nana says, wide grin mirroring your own as you both begin your nightly routines.

A short while later, after locking up and killing all the lights, you join Nana in bed.  It’s an odd sensation as you turn off your alarm clock, something you haven’t done in months, maybe even years, but when you see the weary eyes Nana’s fighting to keep open, you decide it’s for the best.  You turn to her, exchanging good night’s and I love you’s before she closes in, kissing you tenderly before turning away and snuggling close against your body.  You two form a perfect fit as you hold her, refusing to let go even as sleep overtakes you.  Tonight, you have neither prayers nor requests, simply gratitude for the blessing in your arms.  Tonight, you dream of neither girl nor ghost, simply a warm silence that wraps itself around you in a familiar embrace.

tick…

tock…

For once, for the first time in a long, long while, your awakening is not sudden, but serene.  Your eyes slowly open, witnessing the twin golden glows that illuminate the tranquil space in their soft, mellow light.  You’re forced to squint slightly at the brightness of the rays of light filtering through the window, but even the rising sun pales in comparison to the radiance resting within your embrace.  Nana’s resting expression is one of bliss, subtle curves of a smile hidden at the edges of her lips even as she leisurely draws breath.

Somehow, sometime in the middle of the night, she seems to have interwoven your hand with hers, clutching it tightly against her breast as she lies dormant.  You can’t help but feel, in this moment, it seems almost too perfect to be a dream.  Like your mind wouldn’t even entertain this as achievable in a best-case scenario.  Yet here you are, blessed beyond imagination.

You get an idea, hoping to surprise her with breakfast.  You slowly, delicately attempt to remove your hand from hers, but are stopped suddenly as her grip tightens.  “Stopppp …”

“You’re awake?” you ask in surprise.

“Of course, since before you woke up,” Nana murmurs, pulling you closer.  “I just wanted you to hold me longer.”

“Nana, I …”  Your words trail off, your mind unable to even form words as you try to comprehend how you could possibly deserve something this perfect.  “Thank you … Are you hungry?  I was going to go make breakfast—”

“Breakfast can wait,” Nana interjects, flipping over to face you as she snuggles in even closer.  “Just stay with me, like this.  Please.”

This time, at least, you know exactly what to say.  “Of course, Nana.  Anything for you.”

She remains silent, but the pounding of her heart tells you everything you’d ever need to know.  You do as she asks, pulling the covers back over you as you wrap your arm around Nana, pulling her closer as you plant a gentle kiss atop her head.  Somewhere, deep in the back of your mind, you know that the clock ticks ever onwards.  But as you look down and see the little smile that only you seem to bring out of Nana, you realize there’s no better way to spend an eternity than moments like this with the one you love.  You’ll stay.  Forever, if she wants.  And with the way she clings to you, like you’re the only thing keeping her on Earth instead of up with the other angels, you trust that she’ll stay too.  Maybe even forever.

tick…

tock…

tick…

tock…

“So, is hugging a common thing with you?  Like, do you greet everyone you meet by trying to break their ribs?”

“Are you complaining about my hugs?!” Nana gasps, unwrapping her arms from around you and pulling away.

“No, absolutely not!” you exclaim, nearly tripping over your words as they leave your mouth at the speed of light.  “I’m just curious, okay?  It seems like a big thing with you.”

“Fine, I’ll answer your ridiculous question,” Nana says, retaking your arm.  “I occasionally give hugs to people I’m close to.  I often hug those I care about most.  I always hug you.”

“Oh,” you manage to say.  Your curiosity sated; you allow the comfortable silence to return.  As you two walk together, you marvel at the vibrant streets, delighted in the changing of the seasons as spring brings its warmth to what was a desolate Korean winter wasteland.

Unfortunately, a single dark shop stands out amongst the rows of brightly lit stores that litter both sides of the street.  Your destination, Aunt Kim’s noodle shop, seems empty.

“Oh no, it’s closed!  If only someone had an apartment nearby where we could spend the evening instead,” Nana announces dramatically, looking up at you and waggling her eyebrows shamelessly.

“If only,” you say, tugging her along.  “Let’s go see if she left a note saying when she’ll be back.”

“‘Closed this evening for a special occasion’,” Nana reads aloud.  “‘Will return to normal business tomorrow.’  That’s strange, I wonder what’s so important that she was willing to close the shop.”

“Strange indeed,” you agree, searching around in your pocket for a moment before pulling out a key.  “Wanna find out?”

Before she even has the chance to respond, you unlock the door, pushing it open and holding it for her as you invite her in.

“Give me a sec!” you call out, venturing into the darkness as she follows you inside.

“What?  How did you …” Nana trails off, covering her eyes as you flip the switch and restore light to the establishment.  Within, two steaming bowls wait upon a small table near the left corner of the store; upon “your” table, the one where you two have always sat over the past couple of months, the one with the edge broken off, the one that’s imperfect, but that’s okay, because nothing is.  Well, except Nana.

“No but really, what is going on?” Nana asks, walking as if in a daze as she joins you at the table.

“I wanted to do something nice for you for your birthday,” you explain, pulling out the chair for her.  “I thought it’d be nice to have the place to ourselves for once, and Aunt Kim was kind enough to agree.  She seemed more than willing to help out, probably because of our … ahem, ‘generous contributions’ to the store.”

“Ah, I see,” Nana chuckles, smiling brightly.  “Thank you, but you really didn’t have to do all this …”

“Maybe,” you admit with a shrug.  “But for you, I’d do anything.  This is the first time I’ve gotten to do something sweet for you, just let me spoil you for one night.”

“Alright, fine,” Nana says, huffing in mock exasperation.  “Then let’s eat!”

You both eagerly dig in, savoring the familiar tastes of your favorite meals.  Unsurprisingly, even as the flavors dance along your tastebuds, the sight of Nana in front of you is all that matters.  Even with her golden color replaced by a dark chocolate brown, her radiant visage shines under the warm amber glow of the Edison bulbs above.  You lose yourself in the sight of her, food long forgotten until her voice brings you back to reality.

“This is soooooooooo good, did you make this?”

“Oh, gods no,” you exclaim, earning a laugh from each of you.  “Aunt Kim was kind enough to make it just before we arrived.”

“Okay good,” Nana replies, wry smirk locked and loaded as she continues to fire shots.  “I don’t think I would have ever been able to forgive you if you brought me here just to subject me to your cooking.”

“Oh, come on,” you say, rolling your eyes and turning away to hide the smile you can’t contain.  “You know you love me.”

“Obviously.”

That single word has no right to hit as hard as it does, but you can’t help but whip back around to face her.  You pause, allowing the smile to slip as your voice drops.  “I love you.”

“Believe it or not, even more obvious,” she responds, still attempting to hide behind levity.  But you see it in the faint glimmer of her eyes, in the way her lips part slightly, in the way she leans in just the slightest bit closer.

You don’t have to move far to close the distance, leaning in and gently pressing your lips against hers.  The combination of the dishes’ flavors explodes across your senses, adding a new type of spice to one of your favorite activities.  Even more than usual, it drives you crazy, amplifying your hunger as you greedily up the intensity, wrapping your hand around the back of her neck and—

“Honestly, at this point, I’m not even surprised.”

Nana immediately breaks away from the kiss, turning to see Wooyeon walking in, a box in one hand and her forehead in the other.

“Seriously, we just keep having the worst timing,” you say, laughing warmly as you stand to greet her.  “Thanks again for picking this up, I really appreciate it.”

“You’re very welcome,” Wooyeon responds, taking a seat next to Nana.  “Your place is nice by the way.”

“Wait, you’re telling me Wooyeon got a key to your place before I did?” Nana asks indignantly.  “Unbelievable, really.”

Your laughter follows you as you retreat to the kitchen, where you grab Wooyeon’s meal and return to the table.  “That is a good point, I should be careful who I give those out to.”

“Indeed,” Wooyeon says, smirking sinisterly.  “I might just invite myself in some time.”

“Alright alright, enough,” Nana declares as you burst into a quiet fit of laughter.  “Please, can we try to have a normal dinner?  It’d be nice to have an interaction between my two closest friends that isn’t awkward or cut short for once.”

The two of you agree and all three of you dive back into your dinners, casually conversing about your days, how good the food is, and basically anything at all.  You happily join in, enjoying the chance to get to know Wooyeon better and seeing a new side of Nana that only her friend and fellow idol can bring out.  A month ago, you never could have imagined seamlessly going from conversations about your work to stories about their backstage adventures to what movies they’d watched recently.  Yet, on this especially significant day, you’re happy to join Nana at the intersection between her personal and professional life.  You’re happy to make a joke and be blessed by the harmonization of Nana and Wooyeon laughing together.  It’s musical, it’s magical, it’s meant to be.

“Now, will you tell me what’s in the box?” Nana eventually asks.

Wooyeon looks to you for confirmation, then reaches down and opens it, revealing an overly frosted, downright cartoonish-looking piece of cake that looks like it was taken right out of a Kirby game.

“Oh my god it’s perfect!” Nana exclaims, eagerly grabbing for her phone as you take a finger and run it through the icing.  “Hey!  I was gonna take a picture of that!!”

A devious smile creeps across your face as you lean forward, booping Nana on the nose and getting frosting everywhere.  “HEY!”

You immediately lean away, desperately attempting her wild assault as Nana attempts to return the favor.  Within a minute, you’re out of breath from laughing so hard, and from the corner of your eye you can see Wooyeon not faring much better.  Nana catches you, of course, and you’re forced to suffer the consequences of your actions as bits of frosting are smeared all across your face.

Eventually, the commotion settles and you’re all able to enjoy the piece in peace, savoring the wonderful flavors as you share it together.  Well after the sun sets, well after the streets outside go dark and the clock ticks past the shop’s normal closing time, the three of you remain, sharing stories, telling tales, and enjoying each other’s company.  As always, a small part of you rues the passage of time, knowing that this too must come to an end.  But for as long as you possibly can, you preserve this moment, refusing to take it for granted as you treasure the memory being made.  Because you know that you’ll remember this night for the rest of your life.  Because nights like this make you realize you’ve been gifted everything you could have ever wished for.

(My sincerest gratitude to @braaan and @majorblinks for reviewing this fic, I can’t thank you enough for how much your insights improved it and how much your love & support meant to me.  This fic is dedicated to @capslocked, a known believer, and @okaylikesmomo, the newest member of the cult.  I hope you enjoyed reading this story about hugs that happened to feature smut; the next story idea I intend to finish features far more snark and smut, with no hugs in sight.  Anticipate it at your own risk.)

#kpop smut #kpop fanfic #kpop fanfiction #idol x reader #idol x male reader #nana smut #nana fanfic #wooah nana #el7z up #wooah #kpop fluff

[moonstruckme]

Hey bestie! I hope your day is going great! If you're open to it could I get some comfort from Steddie? I hate storms, always have and I unfortunately live in the Midwest. We are under tornado watch right now and could use something else to focus on. I wanna live vicariously through my beautiful Indiana boyfriends 😩. If you're too busy I totally understand. Thank you!!!

~😈

Hope your day is going even better ml!

cw: reader get anxious during storms

Steddie x fem!reader ♡ 717 words

You flinch when a piece of hail hits the window, and Steve tucks you closer against his side. 

Eddie shakes his head. He jiggles his keys as he stands from the couch. “I’ve gotta go get the van.” 

“No, no way,” Steve says, not for the first time tonight. “We’re all staying here.” 

“The closest tornado’s way off.” Eddie waves a hand, getting his boots from by the stairs and pulling them on. “I’m just gonna bring her here to take cover in your fancy garage so she doesn’t get fucked by the hail all night.” 

“So what, you think you’re gonna walk home and drive back?” Steve is incredulous. “Tornadoes can form anywhere, dipshit. On the road’s the worst place to be.” 

You tense as the winds pick up outside, and he tightens his grip on you as if he can contain your panic. You’re all holed up in Steve’s basement, the constant drone of the weather channel covering up the whine of tornado sirens outside. It’s probably overkill to have gotten out of bed to come down here this early—because Eddie’s right, the tornadoes are nowhere near you yet, you’ve only got the storm that the weatherman on channel 4 says comes before them—but there was no way you were going back to sleep after the sirens started anyway. Steve knows you feel safer down here, where the only windows are small and nearly at the ceiling, restricting your view of the outside to rain-pelted grass and occasional flashes of lighting. You get a bit freaked about this stuff. 

“Don’t go,” you say to Eddie, pleading. 

Eddie hesitates by the stairs, and Steve looks right at him as he says firmly, “He’s not.” 

The other boy heaves a great, dramatic sigh, kicking his boots off and tromping over to flop back down beside you. You’ve got your legs curled up underneath you, and Eddie lays his head on your thigh, looking up at you with his eyes extra big. 

“You’ll help me take care of the dents tomorrow, won’t you, hot stuff?” 

“Mhm.” You nod readily. Steve thinks you’d agree to anything right now if it’d keep him from going outside. 

He watches Eddie realize this, the other boy’s expression sobering slightly before he doubles down on the teasing. His eyes flick up to Steve. 

“Or I guess you could always pay to get any damage fixed, huh?” 

Steve scoffs, using his free hand to brush a curl away from Eddie’s eye. “Yeah, right.” 

“What? Is my old gal not in the budget?” 

“Your gal’s sitting right here.” 

Eddie’s gaze moves back to you, and Steve thinks he sees you going a bit shy as Eddie makes a show of taking you in. Good. You could use a distraction. 

“Nah,” he says after a minute, quiet in an intentional way that makes Steve grin and you squirm. “That there’s my girl. Don’t insult her like that, Harrington, I’m talking about my old gal.” 

You turn to hide your smile in Steve’s shoulder, and he and Eddie share a look. It’s knowing, contented, grateful on one end and shit-eating on the other, and because you can always tell when they’re conspiring without you you mumble a not-unhappy, “I’m too tired for flirting,” into Steve’s skin. 

“Liar,” Steve accuses fondly. You’re basically flirting with him right now, the way you’ve got your arm snaked around his middle, anxious fingers fiddling with the hem of his pajama bottoms. “Why don’t we just spend the night down here?”

“Ooh.” Eddie turns onto his side, getting comfier on your thigh. “I like it. Whaddya think, baby? We can put on a movie, and that way you can stay here and keep feeling Harrington up.” 

You sigh. “That’s not what’s happening.” 

“Sure.” Steve drops a kiss on your head, and when you try to let go of him he holds you close.

Eddie gives your thigh a conciliatory pat. “We’ve all been there.” 

“If we watch a movie,” you say, and Eddie grins at your obvious attempt to change the subject, “can it please be something not scary?” 

“Sure, honey.” Steve rubs your arm, shooting Eddie an apologetic look when the other boy pouts. “Your pick.” 

When the next strike of lightning flashes in the window, you don’t seem to notice. 

#steddie #steddie x reader #steddie x fem!reader #steddie x y/n #steddie x you #steddie x self insert #poly!steddie #poly!steddie x reader #steddie fanfiction #steddie fanfic #steddie fic #steddie fluff #steddie hurt/comfort #steddie imagine #steddie scenario #steddie drabble #steddie blurb #steddie oneshot #steddie one shot #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #steve harrington x eddie munson #stranger things #stranger things 4 #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fandom

[conundrumoftime]

Fandom grandma tales: how I survived canon ruining two of the ships I liked.

(Written after a discussion with some of my TROP fan pals about how canon can break your heart re: shipping, and how fandom manages. There are spoilers here for the entire run of Babylon 5, and for one story JMS wrote after it. yes, that story. sorry.)

Babylon 5 was a sci-fi space opera show that ran from 1993 to 1998. It is sci-fi of the era of 22-episode seasons, of huge ensemble casts with characters who get their own B- and C-plots, with an effects and casting budget that doesn’t always match its ambition, and - something it was quite pioneering in, at the time - grand pre-planned story arcs. 

It’s the first fandom that I was involved with in internet spaces as it was running, or at least when its final season was (there’s Discourse and drama from earlier years that I missed). Its showrunner, J. Michael Straczynski - ‘JMS’ - was very active in (non-fanfic) fan community spaces, and you always knew exactly what he was thinking about things because he was part of the discussion around them. There was also fanfic, which he didn’t stop but didn’t go near on the grounds of legal liability for story ideas. 

Most of the fanfic in the early days as the show was airing was focused around two big ships, of which one was canon endgame (Delenn/Sheridan) and one was canon all-ends-in-despair (Marcus/Ivanova). I, as a teenager discovering a developing online fandom for the first time with all the overwhelm and excitement that causes (ask me anything about what reading fic was like before the days of tags/ratings/warnings!) got into Marcus/Ivanova and also into one of the minor ships, Delenn/Lennier.

Delenn/Lennier was never, ever going to happen in canon. This is obvious; it clashes with Delenn/Sheridan which was JMS’s baby darling OTP, the show’s big love story. Delenn is married for the later part of the show. Lennier is her diplomatic aide, is absolutely devoted to her, and they have a very intense mentor/student relationship, which it seems is kind of standard in their culture (when Delenn’s own mentor died she went briefly insane with grief and started a genocidal war over it) but is still Very Intense. He is canonically in love with her, but that’s as far as the explicit canon statements go.

However. HowEVER. Canon also gives us, for that relationship, some wonderful ship fuel. Lennier knows about every bad thing Delenn has done, including all the stuff she doesn’t/can’t tell her husband. He’s her link to her previous world and culture and stands by her even when they kick her out. She says at one point, “without him, I would stumble and fall and never get up again.” 

And then… we had Season 5, the final season.

Season 5, for various complicated production reasons, was operating a little outside of pre-planned story arcs and in this season the Delenn/Lennier stuff ramped up about three gears in one go. It was still very obviously never, ever going to be canon, and was almost certainly not intended by the creator (who wrote most of the episodes himself) to look like there was even anything there. At this point Delenn is married; any relationship with her aide would not only be going against the show’s OTP, but going against it in the sense where she’s cheating on her husband, and there is Just No Way JMS would have gone there. And yet! Season 5 gave us:

A scene where Lennier says he can’t stay, it’s too painful to be around her now she’s married, and she’s devastated and has the following conversation with her husband about it:

S: I got your message about Lennier. Is there anything I can do?

D [snapping]: Almost certainly not.

S: Is it because of me?

D: In part, I think so.

S: Yeah, I was afraid of that. Well, as we say back on Earth, three’s a crowd.

D: On Minbar, three is sacred.

S [slightly uncomfortable laugh]: Well, I don’t think I’m ready to handle that one, Delenn.

Delenn then calling Lennier back to the station to do some secret mission thing for her, which involves her sneaking out of her bed while her husband sleeps to meet Lennier in a darkened alley behind a bar, where she tenderly strokes his face and they have a whole conversation about whether her husband understands her or not.

A scene where Lennier comes back from his secret mission to meet both Delenn and Sheridan, Delenn goes to greet him with a hug, and Lennier does this very pointed step back and nod in the direction of her husband, and she pulls back and just sort of pats him on the arms instead. 

I MEAN.

But, the issue here is not what fans did about it but what canon did about it. Canon did the canon equivalent of dragging that ship outside and shooting it in the head. 

In the final few episodes of the entire series, Lennier tries to kill Sheridan, runs away in shame, and then someone finds his diary in which he’d been writing for ages about what a bad decision he thought Delenn had made and how her whole marriage was an awful idea. Even to this day, it’s fun/awful watching people go through a first-time watch when they get to season 5 and hit that. ‘Character assassination in the form of a diary’ was a whole thing for a while. It’s been 20+ years and the actor who played Lennier is stilll mad about it (not because of shippy stuff, but because he - correctly! - thinks Lennier absolutely would not have done that). 

What *fandom* did, on the other hand, was Fixed The Problem.

Delenn/Lennier was not at all a big ship when the series was airing, and for a few years after. Then the fandom dynamics started to change. With less pressure on what canon was going to do, it felt like fandom had more space to play around with things it didn’t do. Fanfic got less interested in trying to fit within the overall story being told and started spinning off in all its own directions. And *this* ship started getting bigger and bigger. People did really interesting things with it, canon divergence went in all directions, everyone wrote a fix-it story of some variety, some authors did a great series of connected stories based on an idea that Minbari have three genders, the quality of the writing has been brilliant. And I think without that absolute whiplash feeling of what happened in canon, there would never have been this feeling of “well I’m not having THAT” which led to all this.

We did not need canon! Canon had done its thing. And canon had broken our hearts enough ways with many of the other stories it told (entirely on purpose) and we weren’t just going to sit back and let it ruin us forever.

By comparison, the other ship I was into was Marcus/Ivanova. This is entirely doomed. Susan Ivanova’s love life is just perpetually doomed. The first partner of hers we meet is an ex who’s interested in getting back together, but then it turns out he’s just using her to infiltrate the station for the fascist terrorist group he’s secretly joined. Then she falls for an archrival of hers, Talia, who works for Psi Corps, the organisation she loathes most of all things - but it’s okay because it turns out Talia is starting to question them too! Maybe these crazy kids can make it work! They have one night together and then OOPS turns out Talia was being secretly controlled by a sleeper personality implanted in her by Psi Corps the whole time. Ivanova’s love life is doomed. 

So for two seasons, she has this sort-of-flirty, sort-of-bickery, sort-of-friendship going with Marcus, who is on the surface of it very much “why not fall in love at first sight like a true romantic, YOLO!” but it turns out is actually deeply messed up himself and full of survivor’s guilt and pain and, you get the clear impression, would have died of shock if she’d actually called his bluff on the OTT flirting and said “yeah, let’s go for it”. And then he sacrifices himself to save her life. It is a very tragic ending, it is absolutely the way he would have wanted to go, she wakes up both furious and absolutely distraught, says that the last thing she heard was him saying “I love you”, says she wishes she’d at least slept with him once, and says that in a way all love is unrequited. PAIN. 

So, lots of fix-it fanfic, lots of ‘Marcus comes back to life’, lots of canon divergence AUs where he doesn’t die and they live happily ever after and both get over their huge levels of unresolved pain. Pretty standard for that kind of pairing. And as a pairing it doesn’t get in the way of any big canon pairings, it doesn’t imply anything icky like mentor/student power imbalances or adultery. And JMS clearly quite liked it. So that’s better, right?

NO. It was WORSE.

JMS wrote an Marcus/Ivanova story himself, published in one of the sci-fi magazines, to try to give them a happy ending. This happy ending involves Marcus, many many years in the future, waking up from the cryogenic suspension he’s in (it’s sci-fi, keep up, keep up). Ivanova is long dead, but he isn’t about to let this get in the way, so what he does is to *create a new Ivanova* by getting some kind of DNA + computerised memory/personality bank thing, finding a doctor who will clone her, putting himself back into animated sleep until the clone reaches the age Ivanova was when she died, then - THEN, I’M STILL GOING - takes her to a distant planet where, with her memories wiped and their spaceship having deliberately been crashed BY HIM so there’s no way back, they live out their lives in peace.

WHAT.

That pairing still does okay in fandom but it’s not really taken on a post-show world of headcanons and riffing on other people’s ideas and tropes in the way that Delenn/Lennier has (and we all just pretend that story never existed). 

So! This has been my experiences in the field of What We Do When The Show Has Thoughts On That Non-Endgame Ship We’re Into. Fandom manages. Fandom will see you through. And in the words of Susan Ivanova:

Babylon Five was the last of the Babylon stations; there would never be another. It changed the future, and it changed us. It taught us that we have to create the future, or others will do it for us. It showed us that we have to care for one another, for if we don’t, who will? And that true strength sometimes comes from the most unlikely places. Mostly though, I think it gave us hope that there can always be new beginnings - even for people like us.

#fandom grandma #fandom history #non-endgame ships #shipping #canon and non-canon ships #babylon 5 #delenn x lennier #marcus x ivanova #that story's not canon if I say it's not canon #b5 #what in the actual hell was that diary anyway #snarky bill mumy interview forever in our hearts #never have I seen a more perfect ot3 setup and YET

[beelmons]

Hey:-)

So I was thinking about Hotch x bau!fem!reader, where they are arguing in front of the whole fucking team about something stupid. Later the team makes them to apologise to each other…

R: I feel bad about it, so unfuck you or whatever

Hotch: You don’t want to fuck me?! Yeah I feel bad about the argument. Let’s make out

I adapted it a bit to make it fit hotch's personality better. Hope it lives up to your standards!

If someone could break Aaron Hotchner's iron ethics, that was you. For both better and worse.

It broke when you made out for the first time in his office, however wrong that was, or when he fought to keep you in the BAU regardless of the clear fraternization rules you had broken, or that time he risked his life, without regard for protocol, to get you out of a hostage situation.

Or right now, when you were yelling to each other in the middle of the bullpen, as if it was your own living room and no one else was around.

"The coffee pot is for everyone, you just can't do as you please." he growled in your direction, pointing at an empty, slightly yellow-ish tinted, coffee pot.

"Then get this office a new microwave." you snarked back, your tone slightly raised.

"It's not my fault there isn't any administrative ammenities budget!" he let out in frustration, the voice volume incrementing a bit.

"Then I'll just continue to make my lunch this way." you stated without hesitation.

"No!" he outright yelled "You can't keep making ramen in the coffee pot whenever you feel like it! I am tired of getting beef stock flavor in my morning coffee!"

"You're the only one complaining!" you matched his volume "Does it bother anyone else?!"

You turned to face a group of very startled, and utterly uncomfortable, team members. They weren't able to emit a sound, being that the entire fight just felt surreal to them, like watching their parents fight for the first time.

"They are obviously not going to tell you." he said, his tone lowering a bit.

"You know what, Aaron? Fuck you. You always do this, the stick is so far up your ass you could sit normally and not feel it." you chewed him out.

His face was that of absolute disbelief, that you would disrespect him that way without regard of where you were, or the work dynamic that you had while on duty.

Before he could say anything back, Rossi moved to pull you both by your forearms. His sole intention to make the two of you finally shut up. You complained at the grip but allowed yourself to be dragged along, and shortly you were shut down in your boyfriend's office.

"Now that you have managed to make everyone wonder whether to file an HR complaint or a domestic violence one, why don't you take a deep breath and apologize to each other." The older man explained as he made you stand before him.

Aaron sighed in frustration. He was embarrassed enough that you had addressed him the way you did, and for his sake, and yours, he needed a second of quiet. You, on the other hand, were just tired of giving in to his unwavering rules and lack of spontainety.

"Okay." Rossi said once none of you emitted a sound "Now I'm disappointed on both of you."

"Fine." you finally said "Unfuck you or whatever."

Both men gave you a disapproving look at your answer, and you stared at them in disbelief, as if you hadn't yet again said anything wrong.

"I'll tell you what," Rossi said as he got up to close the blinds in Hotch's office, finally dispersing the curious eyes of the other subordinates "I'll make sure no one comes into this office for twenty minutes. You talk about whatever you gotta talk about, fix it, and let's get back to work, okay? We know you love each other, and whatever it is, you will get through it if you communicate."

Without any further word, the wise man slipped outside the office.

"I am sorry." he finally said after a loud sigh "I shouldn't be snapping at you this way, generally speaking."

His demeanor had finally changed, and you could tell by the way he removed his suit jacket, tossing it onto the couch, and loosened his tie a little. Such action, though, did not once fail to make you want him.

"I was too accostumed to living without anyone else but Jack. It's been a challenge, but I should try to make you feel more at home." he explained.

You had moved in together, without telling the team, about a couple weeks ago, and it was... trying, to say the least. You had been on edge for a couple of days, not being able to say much due to Jack's presence. However, the fact that he also was feeling the same way, made you feel more at ease.

"I know you value structure." you said, taking a couple of steps closer and landing your hands on his shoulders "But you should let fun exist every once in a while, both of you need it."

"You're right." he nodded as his eyes landed on you "It was one of the reasons I fell in love with you in the first place. It's not fair of me to try and change it now." his hands moved to rest on the side of your hips.

"And I promise I'll try to not disrupt the routine as much. Maybe getting ideas from TikTok about practical office lunches wasn't the best idea." you joked, and he chuckled a bit.

Your usual loving aura had gone back to normal, there was still more to talk about, but this would do for now, to at least return peace to the BAU nation.

"So," you began, your hands moving to toy with his loose tie "we still have twelve minutes of 'do not disturb'" your tone had turned flirty.

"Oh yeah? Weren't you the one saying 'unfuck you' or whatever?" he retaliated playfully.

"Okay, maybe do fuck you if I get to be the one who does it."

#asks #anonymous #blurb: mine #blurb: hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader

[emeritusemeritus]

86 Baby! [Eddie Munson x Reader]

Part 1

Title: 86 baby!

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader (friends to lovers), Implied Steve Harrington x Reader

Timeline: S4, set two weeks before graduation. Some Canon has been altered to fit the story; no Vecna, Byers never moved and Hop is alive.

Summary: In two weeks, you and your best friend Eddie would be graduating, taking your planned road trip and riding off into the sunset to leave Hawkins behind, until one little secret throws everything down the drain.

Warnings: it’s a little angsty, swearing, implied fake relationship, standard tropes, Eddie gets a little mean in part 2, drinking, deception.

Monday.

"Sooo..." Eddie draws out as he takes his usual seat next to you in the cafeteria, none of the other regulars appearing yet.

Eddie had met you outside of your classroom to walk with you to the lunch room, appearing outside the wooden door suspiciously early before the first bell sounded, a tradition that had begun on your first day of high school. He'd paused briefly as you approached the usual table and gestured flamboyantly for you to sit down first, sliding your chair in for you slightly before taking his own seat at the head of the table.

He sits awkwardly with one leg up on the plastic chair and one dangling next to you outstretched, but somehow for Eddie, that's what is comfortable.

“Tonight. I'm feeling a really crappy budget slasher and too much pizza," He says with a grin, placing down his metal lunchbox and absently pulling out a baggie of trail mix, which is mostly pretzels, navigating the array of suspicious paraphernalia inside.

"Oh," you reply, brain working overtime as you fight to think of a feasible excuse to avoid your weekly ritual, having forgotten all about it under your current stresses. "I'm sorry I totally forgot to tell you!" You giggle awkwardly, the little chuckle sounding absurdly fake to even your own ears. "I've got to help my mom pack tonight, she's going to see her friend from college over the weekend, I said I'd try and spend some time with her before she left, she's actually picking me up early tonight so you won't have to drop me home." You shrug gently, not quite meeting his eyes as you feel his curious gaze lingering upon you as he takes in your words. Okay, not a complete lie but also not the complete truth either.

"Oh, okay," he mumbles, sounding so dejected that you immediately feel the tugging weight of shame at your avoidance of him.

"Maybe we could do it another night instead, maybe Thursday?" You ask quickly, lifting your eyes to his, seeing that his face portrays every ounce of disappointment that his words did.

"On Hellfire night?" He asks sharply, his tone clipped and rudely sarcastic. "What's going on with you?" He asks brashly, eyes squinting as he examines your face, knowing that something isn't right.

"What do you mean?" You ask, trying to feign innocence.

"What do I mean? Lets see princess, firstly you forget our Monday movie night, a tradition unbroken since the dawn of time within the realms of our friendship, you disappeared on me last week, not warning me that your mom was picking you up early so I waited in the car park for 40 minutes. You didn't show up to our gig last Tuesday, and now you're forgetting Hellfire meets?" You can almost feel the twist of the knife with each of his words, his accusatory tone only increasing the guilt within you. Hearing all the examples together made you feel awful; all the evidence laid bare before you as to why you were a shitty friend recently.

"So come on, what's the jig princess?" He leans forward in his chair, eyes still squinting as you fight not to squirm under his intense gaze.

"Nothing! I told you I wasn't feeling well last week at first break, and I left a message with Miss Thomas to let you know I was going home!" You reasoned, still lying through your teeth at the motive, though you had thought to ask the office administrator to pass along a message to let him know you wouldn't be riding home with him, though they clearly had never reached out to him. "And Tuesday I had to take an extra shift at Benny's," you shrugged, trying to deflect the blame. “You know my car’s fucked, I’m trying to get it fixed.”

Mercifully, Gareth and Jeff were quickly making their way over to the table with their lunch trays and you visibly deflated with relief. Eddie shot a look towards the approaching party and turned once more to glare at you, fixing you with a look that told you that this conversation was far from over.

More of the Hellfire group began to spill in and you were thankful for the distraction, seeing that Dustin was hyped up over something that dominated the conversation you were barely listening to. Eddie was tense throughout the lunch, offering little to the conversation as he sat back and ate his pretzels, glaring about the room and huffing under his breath. The guys knew better than to provoke him when he was in this mood, knowing he was volatile at the best of times and so they carried on their conversation around him, trying to include him every now and then but not pushing.

When the bell rang, you quickly gathered up your bag and the lunch you'd only picked at, having found your appetite severely diminished by the tension and lingering guilt from the conversation with Eddie. Luckily, your Monday afternoon schedule did not coincide with Eddie's and you wouldn't have to see him for the rest of the day. You felt guilt and uneasy at lying to him, having never done so before, but you reasoned that it was for a good cause, even if you did feel conflicted.

The afternoon dragged on as you sat in History class, not paying a single ounce of attention to Mrs Click as you jotted down plans and lists and notes in your little notebook as ideas popped into your head. When the bell rang, signalling the time to head to the last class of the day, you all but sprinted out the front doors of the school and out into the car park where a car was waiting for you. Specifically, a burgundy 1983 BMW 733i.

You turned your head quickly to try and see if anyone was looking and quickly slipped into the passenger side, throwing down your bag into the footwell as you turned to greet your chauffeur.

"Hey," you smiled, looking up at the driver, who offered you a warm smile back, before you nervously look around once again to check that no one was watching.

"Hey you," Steve said with a wide smile, running his hand through his hair as he rested his elbow on the open window.

"Drive! I don't wanna get caught!" You prompted, quickly securing your seatbelt as you ushered him to drive away quickly. He chuckled, shaking his head but did as you requested and immediately began to drive out the parking lot and onto the main road.

"You know if you're ashamed of being seen with me, we might need to have a little chat," he grins, not looking at you but instead focusing on the road in front, a grin tugging at his lips at his own sarcastic comment.

"Oh hush, Hair-ington," you joke, rolling your eyes. "Simply thinking of you. You sure you wanna be seen collecting a kid from high school after you graduated last year, old man?" I joked, trying to push his buttons just a little. His face instantly scrunched up on displeasure until he shot me a disbelieving look.

"Pretty sure your boyfriend is older than me," he grumbles. I immediately know whom he's referring to.

"Eddie is not my boyfriend for the hundredth time," I say quickly, perhaps a little too defensively. "Plus he's still at school, so it's not creepy." You chuckle.

"Yeah because that makes it better," he adds sarcastically. You playfully blob your tongue out at him before nudging him gently by the shoulder.

"Not for much longer though," Steve says after a few moments, referring to our upcoming graduation. A pit of nervous excitement settles in your stomach as you think of your plans for graduation, glad to be rid of Hawkins High.

"I know, less than two weeks!" You babble excitedly, earning a laugh from Steve at your apparent elation.

"You know it's really not all it's cracked up to be, the adult world," he reasons, suddenly looking downcast as he thinks to how his life has turned around.

"Hey, just because you didn't go to college doesn't mean you're a failure you know," I protest, knowing that his lack of college education was always a sore spot with him, having spoken about it at great lengths only last week.

"I know it's just, not really how I thought I'd end up. Always figured I'd be able to leave Hawkins and branch out, broaden my horizons and all that, or I'd get stuck working for my dads company. Never thought I'd be working in a rental video store 40 hours a week and still living at home with my parents at 19," he mutters, grabbing his nose with his hand as you'd observed him so anytime he was upset or stressed.

"Yeah but at least you're free," you counter, adding more before he could protest, "the way I see it, you're making money, that money can go on a deposit or the start of a college fund, whatever you want to do more. Then when you finally get where you want to be, you have the satisfaction that you made it all by yourself, no help from mummy and daddy, just your own accomplishments."

He's quiet for a few seconds as he ponders over your words, nodding gently as he processes them.

"When did you get so wise?" He chuckles, looking over at you, earning a laugh in return.

"I've always been wise, you just never chose to listen." Both of you laugh as you watch the tree line get denser and denser as you pull away from the main roads, out towards the Byers' house.

The Byers house was the perfect place for your secret little meetings. It was hidden away at the ass end of Hawkins, tucked away behind the lab, a fair drive from the centre of town and away from all your friends houses, including the furthest place from the trailer park, (not counting the Wheeler house but that was too risky incase saw you and Mike opened his big mouth). The Byers' house was close enough to Harrington's that he could park up at home on Cornwallis and walk across to the Byers' on Mirkwood through the woods and no one would be aware of anything out of the ordinary, should they come round poking their noses in.

Joyce was a gracious and willing host and had offered you her house for your little meetings, keeping you away from prying eyes, something both of you were thankful for.

Approaching the Byers' house, you climbed out of the BMW and gave a little wave as Steve drove back to his house to park the car; he would join you in 5 minutes after walking the little path that lead him out directly facing Castle Byers, ready for your meeting.

Your little meets had been happening more and more frequently in the past couple of weeks and you were almost sad that they would be coming to an end, both because you were enjoying your time spent with Steve and because it was fun to sneak around. Joyce had naturally been sworn to secrecy and true to her word had not told a single soul, except maybe Hopper. Jonathan had run into you accidentally one day as he arrived home early from dropping Will off somewhere but it really hadn't been too hard to cover up as Steve jolted out the back door and you had stuck around for dinner with Joyce and Jonathan, something not entirely unheard of.

The only issue was Eddie, as proven by your little set-to in the cafeteria today. He was becoming increasingly paranoid and suspicious of your whereabouts and your sudden flakiness, which was alarming. You'd called off your meeting with Steve Thursday in order to sit in on Hellfire instead, trying to prove to Eddie that you were still there for him, though you felt torn once you realised what you'd rather be doing.

The rest of the week came and went and you'd been entirely successful in hiding your rendezvous with Harrington, even seeming to put Eddie's mind to rest once you arrived at Hellfire, much to his surprise. He'd put on quite a show for you that night, his eyes flickering over to you frequently as you listened intently to his stories, the DM telling the cult of Vecna campaign so eloquently that you had been mesmerised by his performance the entire night.

You were never an official member of Hellfire, instead choosing to observe and assist rather than play. Sure you had a few Hellfire shirts gifted by Eddie, some you even used to sleep in that been printed with faults and some practice prototypes on different shirt silhouettes and you'd devised campaigns and character sheet with him occasionally but you never actually joined in the campaigns unless you were acting as an emergency sub. Eddie liked to call you his glamorous assistant, likening you to a magician's right hand lady but you always opposed this, stating you were more like the dungeon master's puppet, pulled by strings for his own means.

With your mom gone, you two had hung out at your place after Eddie had driven you home from Hellfire. You'd ordered a pizza and watched an old horror movie that Eddie loved, hoping that it would make it up to him.

Everything was going well until the following Tuesday came around.

Tuesday: the weekly ritual of Corroded Coffin's scheduled gig at the Hideout, 8pm til 10:30pm, never to be missed. You'd missed the previous week and you knew that you couldn't miss this one, after seeing how hurt Eddie had been, not to mention the offhanded comments from the rest of Corroded coffin at the lunch table. You thought your plan of ditching Phys-Ed Tuesday afternoon and having Steve pick you up around the corner from the school would be flawless; you'd even gone as far as timing your departure with his shift finishing at family video so it would look like a coincidental meet on Cherry, near the church plaza as no one would think twice about him seeing you across the parking lot from the video store and offering you a ride home. Eddie usually skipped that class anyway and had a few deals scheduled in during his self made free period, so he would be conducting business at the bench in the woods, far out of sight of the entire school, and more importantly, your exit route.

All had gone to plan right up until you checked the clock hours later and saw that it was 7:45pm and you were going to be late to the show.

"Shit!" You cried out, throwing down your stuff and quickly reaching for your backpack stuffed on the side of the sofa. You frantically dug through your bag to fish out the handmade corroded coffin shirt that you'd stuffed in there earlier today and quickly threw it on over your bra, which you had stripped down to earlier that evening so avoid getting your shirt dirty.

Steve, who lay on the floor beside you only moments ago looked on with a shocked expression, confusion littering his features as he watched you dress.

"Can you give me a ride to the hideout?" You asked quickly, running to the bathroom to quickly fix your hair and makeup, checking that nothing had smudged.

"Uh yeah, sure," he says, throwing on his shirt from earlier, grimacing as he slips the button up over his sweaty body. He runs a hand through his hair, attempting to smooth it out as he watches you flutter around in a rush.

You appear a moment later, quickly shoving things into your backpack, careful to avoid any liquids from spilling as you try to straighten up Joyce's living room. You all but run out of the door only to exclaim profanities again as you realise you forgot your borrowed keys, knowing that they'd probably been thrown to the bottom of your bag in your haste.

"Relax, I've got it," Steve says, twisting the key in the door that Joyce had graciously had made for both of you for times exactly like this.

"Thanks," you said gratefully, trying to calm yourself but it was a pointless endeavour. Your heart was pounding as you entered the car, eyes never leaving the little digital clock that seemed to taunt you the entire journey. You were thankful that Steve never commented on your frantic demeanour, nor the reason behind it and even more thankful that he'd chosen to drive quickly, just barely on the right side of the law.

You're luck has officially ran out.

With minutes to spare, Steve pulled up to the Hideout and into the parking lot, only to be right in the line of sight of Eddie's van, and more importantly, Gareth. He peered over in curiosity, leaning against the van as he smoked a cigarette, his usual ritual just before they took the stage. He seemed to say something to himself briefly only to be joined by Jeff a moment later, who had jumped out of the van clutching his guitar. You could see their lips moving, both of them looking directly at you, no doubt running their mouths about the curious sight of you in the car with Steve Harrington. You sighed, defeated, knowing that they would never let you live this down and your stomach dropped an inch further with the realisation that there was no was in hell they wouldn't tell Eddie.

"Thanks Steve, I'm really sorry about this," you mumbled, not really knowing what exactly you were apologising for but feeling a level of embarrassment at your actions. You begin to open the car door and grab hold of your bag until he replies, keeping you sat inside the car for a moment longer.

"Hey don't worry about it," he says, running a hand through his hair. "Want me to walk you out?" He asks, his eyes peering into yours as he tries to offer support. 

"No that's okay, I-" you begin to say, only to be cut off by an obnoxious shout.

"Harrington!" Jeff calls out, acknowledging the man in the car as both his and Gareth walk towards you, each with curiously smug smiles on their faces.

"H-hey guys," Steve stammers slightly as he greets them, stepping out of the car as he gives them a small restrained wave with his right hand, whilst holding on to the door.

"Y/n, didn't think we'd be seeing you tonight," Gareth says curiously, his words holding an air of suspicion which made you nervous.

"Well I'm here," you shrug, trying to downplay your panic, "just like always."

"Except last week," Jeff adds quickly, immediately grimacing as he shoots you a remorseful look at his quipped tone.

"So Harrington, what?" Gareth begins to ask, only to be cut off by a figure moving out from the back door.

"Guys what the hell, we're on in- oh." Eddie says as he thrusts his way out of the back door, immediately coming to realise what he was seeing. His face drops instantly, a harsh glare forming in his eyes as he looks between you and Steve, each of you clearly having just exited the car together.

"Harrington," Eddie nods once, clipped and unpleasant as he stares at you, trying to understand why you would be in the car with Steve.

"Munson," Steve replies, though his tone is lighter and more polite as he nods back to the man who still appears shell shocked.  There's a tense silence that washes over us all for a few moments, with both Gareth and Jeff shooting glances at Eddie who's face seems thunderous.

"I should get going," Steve suddenly says, turning to face you with a look in his eyes that shows his discomfort.

"Yeah totally, thanks for the ride," you reply, trying to keep it short and sweet, not wanting to disclose any information to the 3 boys stood watching your every move. Steve smiles in return and ducks his head back into the car as you walk away from the passenger side, over to where the boys are stood.

"What, no kiss?" Eddie says venomously as he watches Steve drive away. You immediately frown at his words and sudden bad mood, trying not to let his words affect you.

"Yeah because I kiss every guy who offers me a lift when I'm too broke to get my car fixed," you sarcastically reply, hoping to deflect away the insinuation.

"I could have given you a ride," he says, eyes still fixed on the car as it drives away onto the north Highway, back into town. "If you'd been around lately."

He then walks off, not once turning to look back at you. The guys wordlessly follow him, knowing it's time to go on stage, but not before shooting you sorrowful looks of apology, neither of them realising that Eddie would be so wound up.

You follow them through the back door and instantly turn left instead of following them right towards the stage area. You stalk over to the bar, Eddie's bad mood clearly rubbing off on you as you throw yourself onto a high bar stool and order a double vodka and coke, hoping to ease some of the tension in your body with alcohol. The hideout was notorious for forgetting to check ID, and you used that little fact to your satisfaction tonight. The night didn't really improve at all, except that you'd had enough vodka in your system to numb the ache ever so slightly, freeing you from the overwhelming discomfort of conflicting emotions brought on by Eddie's venom. Their set was good but not great like usual, no doubt on account of Eddie's tenseness and vile mood which prevented him from playing as well as usual, his entire body seeming tense as he avoided all eye contact with you throughout the show.

You were in two minds to stick around after the show, not knowing if Eddie would offer you a ride like normal or whether you'd have to hitch a ride home some other way. Walking would be too dangerous and frankly too far to walk, given your alcohol consumption and overbearing weariness, plus calling Steve seemed like a really bad idea, like adding fuel to any already burning fire. You could call your mom but you knew she'd smell the alcohol on you straight away and you'd be lectured until the end of eternity. Maybe Jonathan would come for you ?

When you walked up to the guys after their set, offering to help load the van just like normal, Eddie virtually ignored you and instead hoisted the heavy equipment by himself. Gareth and Jeff had tried to make small talk, trying to diffuse the tension and Richard, the bass player, had looked on in complete confusion at the tense exchange.

"Gareth can you take her home? Got some shit to do," Eddie states blankly, nodding his head towards you, never once allowing his eyes to drift in your direction. He couldn't even use my name. Had seeing me with Harrington really hurt him that badly?

"Uh yeah sure man," Gareth replies, looking at me with what can only be described as pure pity. Eddie doesn't wait around for anything other than a confirmation before he climbs into the van and drives away like a maniac, leaving all of us standing out in the cold.

It's quiet for a few moments, no one really knowing what to say. Do they comment on it or do they avoid the elephant in the room entirely? Either way, you weren't waiting around to find out.

"Y/n, you can-," Gareth begins to say, gesturing towards his car parked a few spaces away.

"Thanks Gareth but it's cool, I'll just call Jonathan, he owes me one," you shrug, trying to downplay the hurt you were feeling, embarrassed that you were left to be a burden on the other members.

Gareth tries to protest but you wave your hand dismissing him, silencing him in the nicest way you could as you begin to feel the tears prickling at the corner of your eyes, willing them to disappear.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow, great show," you manage to say before walking back inside the hideout, tears making their way down your face as you can finally hide away from their view. You walk to the pay phone and freeze, thinking of your limited options before dialling an all too familiar number.

"Hello?" The voice answers, sounding sleepy as if you'd probably just woke him up. You check the clock on the way behind you and fight back a sigh, not realising the time.

"I'm sorry, I've just woken you up haven't I," you said sympathetically, feeling guilty of the fact.

"It's fine, honestly, Y/n, you okay?" He asks quickly, sounding concerned. You can hear a faint rustle in the background and you can envision him sitting up in bed, covers falling at his waist as he runs his spare hand through his hair.

You sigh, willing the tears to go away as you fight to take a shaky breath, not really knowing how to answer.

"I- no not really," you fight to get it out, lip wobbling slightly in your pathetic state. "Could you pick me up? I'm alone and I didn't know who else to call, I'm really sorry Steve," you all but whimper, babbling.

"He left you?" Steve sounds outraged, immediately knowing that something must have happened between Eddie and yourself.

"Kind of, he took off," you said, sounding small, not really wanting to go into detail.

"Stay right where you are, I'm on my way. Don't let anyone talk to you or give you a drink or anything okay? I'm coming." He immediately goes into protective dad Steve mode as you hear him bolting around his room for clothes.

"Thank you, so much," you say pathetically.

"I'll be right there Y/n okay, stay safe, I'm coming."

Steve hangs up the phone and you sink down into yourself on the little phone booth, feeling utterly broken and pathetic. The vodka in your system had all but dried up, the actions of tonight sobering you up quickly as you were left alone to deal with the consequences of your actions.

Steve arrived in 7 minutes, which you were sure must have been some sort of record. He immediately burst out of the car after throwing it into park and enveloped you in a tight hug as you cried once again. He pulled back and ran his eyes over you, checking for any signs of you being hurt but then gave you a sad smile when he realised you were only hurting on the inside.

"Come on," he says gently, pulling at your hand as he leads you back to the car, opening the door for you. "Milkshakes make everything better." He gives you a warm smile and closes the door, before walking quickly to his side and climbing in.

"Steve you really don't have to, I already feel bad enough that you had to come get me," you protest but he shushes you quickly, a serious look falling across his face.

"I'm glad you called me, you should have never been left alone."

"He dumped me on Gareth but I knew he didn't want to get involved or really drop me home so I didn't know what else to do," you confessed.

"He should have taken you home, mad or not. You made the effort to be here, he should see that."

The two of you talked in the car for a little while longer, with Steve being the ideal shoulder to cry on, both figuratively and literally and by the end of the night you did feel better.

"I just don't know why he was so angry," you said honestly, finishing the last of the milkshake he'd bought you from Benny's.

"You really don't see it?" Steve replies, giving you a sad smile.

"See what?" You ask naively, unsure of what hr was talking about.

"He's jealous. He probably thinks we are together and that you hid it from him. Not because he thinks he's being replaced as your friend but because he thinks someone else swooped in and took a shot before he could."

"That's... crazy. Eddie doesn't have any intention of 'taking a shot' with me, believe me," you say quickly, feeling as if you'd disclosed too much already.

"So you want him to?" Steve asks curiously, though his question isn't laced with sarcastic undertones or any hint of teasing.

"Yes," you answer quickly and honestly, needing no time to think.

"He drives me crazy, he's so smart but so fucking stupid sometimes. When it started we were just friends then all of a sudden one day I started noticing things about him, stuff I'd never thought of before. I noticed how often he'd look at me or reach out for me, always checking if I was there or if I was paying attention before he'd burst out into dramatics, smiling and laughing with me when it was over. Then the butterflies came each time he'd do something like that and I'd think wow what if he's feeling this too. A few times I was sure he was going to make a move, it all seemed so intimate at times, the looks and the gestures but then, nothing. He'd change the conversation or he'd look away and I'd be reeling thinking of why. I guess he just doesn't see me like I see him."

You couldn't help but babble your way through a monologue Shakespeare himself would be proud of, hardly even pausing for breath as you reeled off your thoughts and emotions into Steve's listening ears.

"I think he does," Steve says calmly after a few moments of quiet. You look at him with sad eyes and he offers a little smile. "You're beautiful, funny, caring, he'd be absolutely blind or crazy if he didn't realise that." You blush at Steve's words, wanting to hide your shy smile but you persist. "I can promise you that the only reason guys aren't lining up at your door is because Eddie has either scared them off or they already think you're a couple. Hell, I'd have shot my shot at you if it weren't so apparent that you were inseparable with him, well, that and your horrible taste in music," Steve jokes.

"Hey! Judas Priest are metal gods and you can't deny that! But thank you Steve," You laugh, along with Steve who's expression had warmed.

"You'll get through this, you and Eddie. You just have to give him some time to come around."

So that's exactly what you did. Problem was, that wasn't what Eddie was doing, he was giving you both space and time.

#emeritusemeritus #emeritusemerituswrites #stranger things #eddie munson masterlist #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x reader #Eddie Munson x you #Eddie Munson

[creative-caramel-coffee]

Nightmares and Nosebleeds

Pairings: Weems x student!Reader (Platonic)

Word count: 3.3K

Summary: you have been having trouble sleeping and weems helps you get some much-needed rest.

TW: mentions of past abuse, mentions of childhood trauma, nightmares, blood, exhaustion, crying

A/n A fluffy fic for all my traumatised beans who need some motherly weems comfort. You are loved <3

Exhaustion seemed to settle in between the cracks of your mask.

It was hard to pretend you were ok. As if all you wanted to do wasn’t to take a nap in the middle of class. But you couldn’t. You couldn’t sleep. Not here. Not in your dorm. Not anywhere.

Nightmares plagued all hours of your unconsciousness and you had done everything to fight off sleep for the better part of a week now. Sure, you had failed at times and succumbed to the much-needed rest. If you could even call it that. But after a lapse in sleep, you needed more. You craved sleep. But it was awful. You thrashed, mumbled things even screamed or yelled sometimes in your sleep. You would wake up damn with sweat and somehow more exhausted as it took an emotional toll as well as physical. Sleep was broken after you woke from each bad dream. Eventually you simply gave up.

It was around two am on a random Tuesday and after about an hour broken sleep, you woke up for the fifth time.

You sighed annoyed and threw off the sheets. Maybe if you went for a walk around the grounds, you may be exhausted enough for the subconscious to lack the energy to cook up more horrors.

Nobody should be awake at this hour anyway. Anyone who would have been sneaking out would have tried already and been caught. You threw on a hoodie over your PJs not bothering to change.

Slipping out of your single dorm you trudged through the halls. You walked through the quad and eventually found the room you had been looking for. Pulling the lock-pick from your pocket you slipped into the classroom.

It was the only one you ever broke into, and you only ever did it for one reason. The window. There was a window you could pry open and climb out to sit on the roof. It was your safe space.

You locked the door behind you and climbed through the sill. Folding your legs to your chest to curl up into a ball, you rested your head on your knees and wrapped your arms around them. The night was still, and the half-moon lit up the grounds.

You looked up at the stars and did your best to name as many constellations as you could. Which wasn’t many but it was more than the average person may know.

A single stray tear escaped, and you rubbed it away and you cursed yourself. If you began to cry you may never stop. It was a road you did not want to try.

Larissa had been sat in her office, nursing a glass of whisky and trying to get through the excessive amount of budget cuts from the school board.

After about three hours she had moved to her spot by rage window and gazed out at the stars.

Her window overlooked the grounds and she frowned at a lump on one of the roofs. Making sure it wasn’t some creature that could be a threat she grabbed her binoculars to take a closer look. She frowned at what she found.

As far as she knew all the students were asleep. Nobody should be up at this hour apart from her or the odd stray teacher. She sighed and donned her coat, knowing exactly which classroom it was she needed to go to.

She made her way down the halls until she stood outside the classroom in question. She pulled her keys from her pocket and fitted them into the lock. Turning the door handle and pushed the door gently it swung open.

The window was still wide and ajar, letting in a cool draft as she crossed the room. She was surprised you didn’t react to the sound of her heels. But she noted you seemed lost in thought. She stopped at the window taking a moment to observe you.

You were slouched and clearly fighting sleep. Your shoulders were slumped, and you looked ready to cry. You shook slightly from the cold, and she noted the lone tear track down your cheek.

She knew she was going to have to be gentle with you tonight as you were so lost in your own mind you still hadn’t clocked her presence.

“Ms L/n is there a reason you are out of bed at this hour?” She said her hands flying out to catch you by the arms as you startled and lost the hold on your knees.

After a second, she removed her hands from your arms, and you sniffed still looking at the stars. You brought a hand up to scrub at your cheek before glancing at her.

You looked exhausted. She made note that you must have been covering up the darkness that rested under your eyes with makeup, as it was far more prominent than she had ever seen in the halls.

“Come back inside you must be cold” she said gently, and you nodded, a faraway look on your face, as if you were only half here and heard her voice as though it was muffled by water.

You roll over onto your hands and knees and crawl like a baby back through the window. Once you were through, she offered you her hand to help you down from the table and you hesitated but took it. She sucked in a breath at the contact due to how cold you felt, and turned to close the window once you were down and inside.

“You're freezing.” She said sounding mildly peeved. You stood off to the side awkwardly as she turned around to face you now she had shut the window. You shifted your weight from foot to foot and avoided looking her in her eyes.

She carefully removed her coat and placed it around your shoulders, not in how you flinched slightly at the contact. The fabric was warm, and you pulled it closer around you.

“Thanks.” You mumbled and she nodded.

“That’s quite alright. Now please, come with me.” She said and turned to leave; you followed a half pace behind her. As you walked through the halls your face crumpled as you realised you were not setting out to return to your dorm. You hesitated but asked anyway.

“Um Ms weems where are we going?” You said softly and she turned to look at you.

“My office I don’t think you should be alone tonight.” She said with a very gentle look.

You were too exhausted to comprehend what that really meant and even more exhausted at the simple notion of arguing with her.

You gave a small nod, and she returned one of her own, and placed a gentle hand on your bicep to lead you back to her office.

Once she arrived, she let go of her grip and slid in the key and opened the door ushering you inside.

You stood awkwardly in the big room, unsure of what to do. Still wrapped in the principle’s coat.

“Come.” She said and waved you to the door at the back of her office.

You followed and you walked into what looked to be her privet quarters. You felt uneasy in her personal space.

“Ms Weems?” You asked.

“If you would rather sleep in my office, I cannot say it will be a very pleasant experience, and staff may enter at random and disturb you.” She said and you nodded still too tired to be thinking of any possible consequences.

She steered you by the shoulders to a large room which was ornately decorated in her personal style, and you clocked that this was her own bedroom.

“Ms Weems but you need to sleep too?” You said uneasy.

“I assure you darling and I quite well and good. I have some work to finish regardless. Plus, I am more concerned for you, than myself currently. Now I won’t press you to tell me what’s on your mind, but do know I am here, if you want to talk.” She said and you fought back tears. She laid a soft hand on you shoulder and looked into your eyes.

“I’m fine” you mumble softly.

She gives a noise halfway between a snort and a chuckle, an undignified noise to say the least. Her hand flew to cover her mouth before she regained her composure. Your cheeks heated slightly despite the cold.

“Not quite darling. Don’t lie to me. Take your time to speak about whats bothering you, but please don’t lie to me.” She said and moved behind you to take the coat from you.

“I’m sorry” you said softly and let her remove your arms from her large coat.

“No need for apologies darling, it’s quite alright “ she said.

“Thank you” you said barely audible, and it was likely that if she weren’t a shape shifter, she would have missed the sound altogether.

“You're welcome now get some sleep” she said moving over to guide you into the bed and tuck the sheets around you.

“Goodnight Ms Weems.” You said.

“Goodnight darling. Now hush, no more chatter. I’ll be in the next room if you need me. Don’t hesitate to shout.” She said halfway to the door already.

You nod despite her turned back and rolled over away from the door.

She turned back at the light switch to smile at you as she turned out the light.

The door was half shut when she heard you speak again.

“Ms Weems?” You voice sounded small and hesitant. She stopped and looked back. You had half rolled over to look at her over your own shoulder but made no move to speak again. After a beat of silence, the principle spoke.

“Yes darling?” She said, ever patient.

“I just thought you should know I make a lot of noise in my sleep… nightmares.” You explained.

She softened.

“Thank you for telling me. I’ll be sure to leave to door open so I can check on you if anything’s wrong in the night.” She said and you felt the redness flood your cheeks again at her kindness. A kindness you were unused to.

“Thank you.” You said.

“Hush now. Sleep. For real this time.” And with that she left the door slightly ajar, and you failed to fight sleep any longer.

Weems returned to her office and sat back down at her desk. She made it habit to check on you whenever she could and after around an hour, she heard movement through the cracked doors.

She set down her pen, which had been signing documents and rolled her wrist to loosen the sore muscles before she stood to check on you once more.

Making her way into her room she peered in to see you tossing and turning and mumbling something with a concerned look on your face, eyebrows screw together to cause a crease in your brow. You almost looked like you were in pain, and it broke the woman’s heart to see you looking so distressed.

She made her way over to the bed and squeezed your arms lightly saying your name to try and wake you up. She hadn’t expected what came next, however.

You sat bolt upright, and your face connected with her chin. Luckily, she wasn’t injured as she had time to half turn away.

When she looked back at you your hands were cupped under your face and she noted in the low light a small dark trickle running from your nose down your top lip. You looked slightly dazed, and she watched in horror as the blood dripped into your fingers and spread through the creases in your palms.

“Come darling.” She said, throwing back the covers to lead you to her bathroom.

You startled again like you had back earlier on the roof, and she was glad none of the blood ended up on the sheets as you flinched. She supposed she could always get new sheets and your reaction was clearly an involuntary one at that.

“P-principle weems?” You said and she grew concerned as you seemed to scan the room disoriented before she watched the understanding flood into your features and your eyes seemed to stop scanning the room and settle on her.

“You're alright darling,” she said kindly “Now come with me. We need to deal with that blood.” She said with a nod towards your cupped hands.

You swung your legs over the edge of the bed, hands still under your chin as you stood. She guided you by your shoulders to the bathroom and gently let you hang your face above the sink as the red dripped onto the porcelain.

She frowned at your seemingly unbothered nature of the situation.

“Darling, if i may ask… does this happen often?” She asked gesturing to your face. You sighed.

“Im afraid so. I’ve always gotten nosebleed, especially as a kid. I never knew why; they were just always a feature in my life. It got me out of class a lot at my old school. I'd have about one every two weeks or something.” You said and weems frowned.

“I’ll be sure to add it to your file, should this or something similar happen again.”

“Oh, it will. If there’s one thing I can count on, it's my nose bleeding.” You said with a laugh. The principle, in turn, gave a half huff, failing to see the humour of the situation and mildly worried at how desensitised you seemed about it all.

You realised your nose hand stopped bleeding now and turned on the tap, guiding the water to clean the sink of your blood. Whist you did that, Weems turned around and grabbed a rag before turning back to you. She let you wash your hands clean before she gently took your cheek with her hand. You went to protest but she spoke before you did.

“Let me darling.” She said and you relaxed slightly, she brought the damp and slightly warm cloth to you face and began to gently clean the blood from your chin and top lip. Once she had finished, she ran the rag under water again and wrung it out before setting it on the edge of the bathtub to dry. She extended a hand to you.

“Come.” She said and you took it and silently followed her back out and into her office. She made the two of you some tea as you sat and watched.

When she returned with the two mugs you thanked her as she sat down opposite you. It was a comfortable silence, and you felt no pressure yet found yourself itching to tell her everything. She made note of your fidgeting but refrained from commenting. After a moment you sighed and stilled.

“I-it's just always there.” You said and paused, waiting to see if she would interrupt.

She simply nodded and took another sip of tea, not pressing but leaving you to continue if you wanted to.

“The nightmares. I had … a rough childhood.” You chuckled humourlessly. “I guess thats putting it nicely.”

You looked away and picked at the skin of your thumb and she made no move to stop you. You glanced at her and moved to sit on your hands. She frowned at the gesture.

“Sorry.” You spoke. “My mother hated when i fidgeted, she always told me to sit on my hands.” You said with a fragile smile and glossy eyes at the memory you seemed to be drawing on.

“I do not mind. If it soothes you, continue. But as long as it's not damaging.” She said, referencing the earlier action.

You nodded once but stayed sitting on your hands making no move to change your position. You sucked a breath and let out a slow sigh before continuing.

“My dad wasn’t very close with me. My mother and I were inseparable but that changed.” You paused for a beat.

“Im not sure why but the love was different, more sour, less pure. I lost out connection over time. They were … i don’t like to say abusive but i guess if the shoe fits.” You shrug.

“The nightmares are a mix of things. Them. My fears. My mind making up horrors that never happened. It's almost as if my body enjoys torturing me in their absence.” You said giving another dry laugh that made weems skin crawl.

“I just want to sleep. Im so tired. But the nightmares just leave me feeling worse.” You sighed and picked at the seams of your sleeve as your hands escaped their position under your thighs. You averted you gaze to the fire which crackled softly.

Weems sensed you were done and set down her tea on the coffee table.

“If you need someone to talk to.” She paused mulling over her words.

“Or if you just need somewhere to rest. If you need a hug or anything at all, even to vent; I’m here.” She said and you felt the tears congregate on your waterline.

You gave a nod and watery sniffle looking slowly over to her. She patted her lap.

“Come here darling.” She said and you threw yourself into her arms. Her embrace was strong and grounding. Just what you needed as you sobbed into the neckline of her dress.

She held you tight and for the first time in a long time you felt safe. You relished in the warmth of the feeling and soon were breathing softly and deeply, as you feel asleep in her arms, your face buried into her neck where the scent of her faded perfume was strongest.

Weems sat with you in her arms for the while looking into the dancing embers before gently laying you down on the sofa and covering you with a blanket to keep warm despite the ever-present heat of the fire.

Here she could keep an eye on you. Here you were safe. And she meant what she had said. And for the first time in months, you slept soundlessly under her watchful gaze as she worked at her desk, her mind never fully straying from your as you remained steadfast in her thoughts.

The night seemed to pass quickly, and she didn’t disturb you as the early hours of the morning came.

You clearly needed the sleep. She had already planned to excuse you from classes based of how well you had been sleeping now. It was still early morning, still before sunrise and still before the school awoke. And she had ample work left to do.

She was the only one awake on campus and she basked in the early morning silence of the school. This was her favourite time of day. When the world seemed to still and she could almost pretend it had stopped, just for a moment.

She cast her gazed back to your sleeping from and wrote a note to herself on a yellow post it to remind her to also retrieve breakfast for you as well when she went later.

Turning back to her work your soft snore made her heart swell. She loved all her students. But you, you held a safe spot in her heart that seemed to keep it warm with each beat. And she swore then and there to protect you with her dying breath. A student she loved with motherly compassion. As a teacher you saw as a mother.

MASTERLIST

#principle weems #larrissa weems #nevermore #outcast #student R #weems x r #platonic #comfort #hurt / comfort #weems comfort #r is a student at nevermore #sad r #whump #fluff #slight angst #motherly weems #weems acting like a mother #Wednesday Addams #weems x reader #platonic relationships #student!reader #nightmares #nosebleeds #author gets nosebleeds all the time and is projecting #fanfic #traumatised reader #insomnia #author has issues sleeping #sicfic #sick

[jerzwriter]

Turning Red: A Holiday Tale

The usual mayhem ensues when Kaycee and her friends head out to do some holiday shopping at a local mall. She's elated to be done with shopping when she finally finds the perfect gift for Ethan, and then...

Book: Open Heart (Book 2 Timeline) Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Kaycee) Characters: Jackie Varma, Bryce Lahela, etc. Words: 1,500 Rating: Teen A/N: Participating in @choicesficwriterscreations Holiday Event; @choicesholidays This is the most embarrassing Christmas (moment) ever! @choicesdecember2023 I'm going with Christmas :) The concept sounded fun, not sure it came out the

“Ouch!” Jackie yelled out as her head slammed into the roof of the car for the umpteenth time. “Lahela! Jesus Christ!”  

“He is the reason for the season,” Bryce smirked.

Bryce wouldn’t have tried to conceal his amusement, normally, but because it was the holidays, he tried... and failed.

Kaycee turned to him from the passenger seat. “I thought you were agnostic?”

“I am, but I’m a recent convert to sarcasm-ism. Try to keep up, MacClennan!”

“Well, Mr. Sarcastic-ism, can you try to avoid potholes? If my head hits this damn roof one more time, you’ll be responsible for the bills for my brain injury.”

“Brain injury?” he sassed, stopping what he was going to say when Kaycee clenched his hand with a stern glare.  

“Bryce... be nice.”

“But... but... Ah! You’re no fun since you started dating Ethan,” he protested. “I liked you better when you were all pent up and feisty.”

“Yeah, well, she sure ain’t pent up anymore,” Elijah laughed as Jackie gagged.

“Must we?”

“We mustn’t,” Bryce replied, “but apparently, Ethan and Kaycee must.”

“I knew I should have taken the bus!” Jackie groused.

Kaycee turned to her friend with a conciliatory grin. “Jackie, it’s an 18-minute walk to the mall from the bus stop... and it’s 24 degrees outside.”

“Right about now, enduring frostbite seems like a small price to avoid this ride.”

“That’s it,” Sienna smiled. “I know who will be the Grinch in our roomies holiday card.”

“Was that ever in doubt?” Bryce asked.

“LOOK! A SPOT!” Jackie hollered. “Please park so I can get out of this tin can.”

“I’m so excited to start shopping!” Sienna beamed. “I just love this time of year! The decorations, the music, Santa!”

“Be honest, Si,” Bryce asked with a twinkle in his eye. “You didn’t come to shop... you just want your picture taken with the big guy in the red suit, don’t you?”

“I plead the fifth!”

“Speaking of shopping, we’re splitting up inside, right?” Kaycee inquired. “I can’t buy gifts for any of you if you’re with me.”

“That’s so sweet,” Elijah declared. “But you could have just had my new Maserati delivered to me at the apartment.”

“On a resident’s budget? You’re lucky you get a Matchbox replica of a Maserati.”

“Kaycee, I don’t know why you subject yourself to this,” Jackie griped. “You have a rich boyfriend with a nice, expensive car. Why didn’t you just go shopping with him? You could have avoided these clowns and wouldn’t have to worry about run-in factor.”

“I’d have to worry about a different run-in factor,” Kaycee reminded. “Remember, we’re trying to keep the fact that we’re dating lowkey until I finish my residency. Something about us strolling through the mall together for Christmas shopping might tip some people off.”

“Yeah, especially since you get that doe-eyed look whenever he’s around,” Sienna teased.

“And Ethan gets that slightly less disgusted with the world look,” Elijah added. “I see Kaycee’s point. It would be a dead giveaway.”

“Really?” Kaycee laughed. “If we’re done mocking me... what do you say? Meet up at the food court in two hours?”

“Sounds good!” Sienna said, pulling the others away.

~~~~~  

Kaycee had to admit that Sienna was right. It was impossible not to catch the holiday spirit as the scent of the pine tree decorations and the sounds of the season filled the air. Even the bustling crowds couldn't get her down. Being a resident unable to return home for the holidays was tough. Still, it was made much easier with her found family surrounding her, and this year, she also had Ethan. It was amazing how far they had come. Last year at this time, she was secretly pining for him. Overanalyzing every word, every glance in a desperate attempt to determine if he felt the same way about her or if she was losing her mind. This year was a different story. Sure, only their closest friends knew they were together, but they were together. That's what mattered.

“And all it took was me nearly dying,” she chuckled out loud.

“I’m sorry?” An elf handing out discount flyers inquired.

“Oh, nothing,” Kaycee blushed as she rushed away. Enough daydreaming; she had shopping to do!

~~~~~  

An hour later, she was loaded down with bags overflowing with gifts for family and friends. But she had one gift left to buy. But what do you get the man who has everything he wants – which now even included her? His taste in Scotch exceeded the limits of her budget, and he refused to give her a gift list. “I know what a resident makes, and I don’t want you wasting your money on me.” As if she wasn’t going to buy him something. A sweater? Boring. A tie? He had dozens of those. Frustrated, she put the quest for Ethan’s gift off for another day and headed to Macy’s to buy some things she needed for herself.

She checked her watch after waiting in a long line to purchase a few pairs of sensible briefs for work. She had just enough time to get back to the food court to meet her friends. She was almost out of the intimate apparel department when something stopped her in her tracks.

“This is perfect!” she whispered as her fingers caressed the butter-soft red silk hanging before her. It wasn’t your standard, tacky holiday teddy... this was exquisite! Silk trimmed with scalloped red lace and a decadent velvet sash... “It’s perfect!” she muttered again. It didn’t matter what gift she was giving him, as long as she gave it to him wearing this he'd be elated!

Her hopes were momentarily dashed when she saw the price tag, but they were lifted again when she saw the 50% off sticker! SOLD! Sure, she’d have to wait in that long line again, but she imagined herself wearing this... and imagined Ethan’s reaction to her in it. Well, some things were simply worth being late for!

She rushed to get in the queue again, humming Santa Baby softly when a voice calling out made her blood go cold.

“Kaycee! Is that you?”

Please don’t let it be him! Please don’t let it be him! Please don’t let it be him! She said, turning slowly... it’s him!

“Naveen! Fancy meeting you here!”

“At the mall at Christmastime?” Naveen chuckled. “I find that I run into half of Boston here! At least half of Edenbrook.”

“Yes...” Kaycee squirmed “Bu... bu... but...”

“But?” He asked when she couldn’t get the words out.

“I just didn’t expect to see you in the women’s intimate apparel section of Macy’s?”

“Oh,” Naveen laughed, lifting up a bag. “I got Sarah in the hospital grab bag! She asked for fuzzy slippers, and they have the best ones here!”

“Oh, I... I see,” Kaycee stated, attempting to hide her sexy little garment when Naveen’s eyes fell upon it.

“Oh,” Naveen choked, turning as red as the teddy.

“It’s uhm... it’s a gift!” Kaycee sputtered, not telling a lie. After all, it was about to be Ethan’s favorite gift this year.

“It’s OK,” Naveen answered nervously. “I don’t need to know...”

“For my mother!” She blurted as Naveen’s brows shot to his hairline.

“Your... your mother?”

“Yes! No! I mean....Yes! She is going to a Christmas-themed... uh, Christmas-themed bridal shower! Yes! That’s it! She’s going to a Christmas-themed bridal shower .... for my cousin... Caroline! But she’s too shy to buy something like this herself, so, uh... I told her I’d get it.”

Naveen gave Kaycee the side eye.  He had spent a good deal of time with Rose MacClennan while Kaycee was hospitalized after the attack, and he didn’t have her pegged as the type of person who would be too embarrassed to buy a teddy, but then again, those were strange days. In any case, he wanted nothing more than to put Kaycee... and himself... out of their shared misery. So he politely ended the conversation and took his leave.

With the red teddy safely concealed in tissue paper and tucked in a pretty bag, Kaycee relayed her encounter to her friends.

“Oh my God, YOUR MOTHER!” Bryce laughed. “The best you could come up with was your MOTHER!?”

“Thanks for the support, Bryce!”

“Take it easy, MacClennan,” Jackie tried to reassure. “It’s a teddy, for fucks sake. It’s not like you were purchasing his and her sex toys!”

“JACKIE!”

“What!? Am I wrong?”

“No... I know it’s not the end of the world,” Kaycee started. “But Naveen is like Ethan’s second father... and would you want to run into your boyfriend's father while you’re buying a sexy red teddy?”

“OK, we see your point!” Elijah laughed.

“We see your point, but we haven’t seen the teddy!” Sienna winked. “Let’s see it!”

“Here? In the middle of the food court?”

“I think we should weigh in on your decision,” Bryce teased.

“Fine,” Kaycee blushed, pulling the item from the bag to her friend’s wolf-whistles.

“It’s beautiful! I approve!” Sienna grinned.

Bryce nodded. “And I’m confident Ethan will approve as well. Just ask Naveen!"

"Bryce!" Kaycee squealed, smacking her friend's arm. "Let me put this away before....”

“Kaycee? Is that you?”

“No.... this isn’t happening....” Kaycee groaned.

“Quick, give it to me!” Sienna whispered as Kaycee turned around.

“Alan! What are you doing in Boston?”

Hope you enjoyed this silliness. Poor Kaycee. lol

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

Tagging others separately.

#choices fanfic #open heart #ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #playchoices #playchoices fanfic #open heart fanfic #open heart choices #choices open heart #choices stories you play #holiday fics #holiday fanfic

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Come Now, Little Duke | The Good Stuff

Okay, so if you can't tell I've been going through some of your stories again and catching up on updates and asdfjlk you're such an amazing writer! The personality you give the characters is so good it makes me want to scream and your prose? *chef's kiss* Is it alright if I hit you with another prompt? You've written a lot of Janus comforting Roman (which I love), but I just got caught up in Come Now, Little Prince (I think it just might be my favourite of your stories) and Janus comforting Remus filled my heart in ways I can't describe. Could we get more of our favourite danger noodle comforting, protecting, and being possessive of the trash rat? – twoalpacas

Read on Ao3

Warnings: gunshot, blood loss, passing out from injury, mentions of being on heavy painkillers/drugs

Pairings: dukeceit

Word Count: 1420 (it's what he would've wanted.)

Remus had never seen Janus fight before. That's why he's there—to get hurt for him, to do the dirty work, to pull the necessary levers and little administrative violences. But Janus was a breathtaking fighter. If Remus hadn't already been clocked rather hard on the head, dazed and on the ground, ready to pass out, he might have swooned at the sight.

The attackers dropped.

Janus was at his side in an instant, expression intent.

"You don't like getting your hands dirty," he slurred.

"I don't like losing my best operative either. Don't worry, I'll get you to clean the blood off my hands on your knees when you're not dying," Janus said, still a little too concerned to be his normal unflappable self, "restore the order of the universe."

Remus snorted and regretted it. Wounded was not good for laughing.

"Come on, then," Janus said, grunting as he slid an arm under Remus's back, "these new clothes are coming out of your budget if you can't get them clean."

An order was an order. He gritted his teeth and hauled himself up, an injured hand pressing against the gunshot wound. An involuntary hiss through his teeth as pain ravaged his limbs followed by a moment of surprise as Janus's body pressed warm and solid against his side.

"Stay awake until we get to the car," he muttered as they slowly made their way through the carnage, "then you can pass out."

Get to the car. Get to the car. Get to the car.

He was still conscious by the time they finally made it to the car, but Janus was practically dragging him to the door. Air passed weakly through his lips as he fumbled woozily for the door handle.

Janus's voice mumbled something but it sounded like it was coming through syrup. Pain fluttered like static across his field of vision and his head slipped down.

He opened his eyes.

A ceiling stared back at him. He blinked. Outside didn't have ceilings. He must be inside. But cars didn't have ceilings that looked like this. So they must be inside inside somewhere. Did he make it to the car? He hoped he made it to the car. Janus said to make it to the car.

"Good. You're awake."

Remus turned his head to see Janus pulling a chair up to the bed. He…how long had he been like this?

"You've been out for about an hour," Janus said, "welcome back."

Remus swallowed. His mouth felt like it was full of cotton. "Why…why'm I so…sthlow?"

"A combination of your injuries and the sedatives, plus the gauze in your mouth." Gloved hands reached up to pry it out, leaving his mouth slightly less cottony, but only slightly. He blinked slowly. Janus tutted and reached back up, brushing a bit of hair from his face and whistling lowly. "They got you good, huh? I've never seen so much blood all over your pretty face."

If Remus hadn't lost so much blood, he probably would've blushed.

"Wha—" he tried to swallow some of the cotton— "wha'd Doc say?"

"Let's just stick to the good news for now," Janus said darkly, "which is that you're not dying anymore."

Oh. That was good news. As Janus stood and turned away, he remembered something. He gritted his teeth and started to get up.

"And what," Janus said sharply, "do you think you're doing?"

Remus gestured weakly. "Your hands."

"And what about my hands?"

"'M supposed to clean them."

Confusion furrowed Janus's brow until he realized what Remus was talking about and he rolled his eyes. "Get back in the bed," he said, exasperated, "you're not out of the woods just yet."

Oh. A bed. Is that was he was laying on> But his bed didn't look like that. Or feel like that. His ceiling didn't look like that either. But orders were orders.

Janus had disappeared by the time he lay back down. He blinked, still slightly woozy. Blood loss, probably. Or the pain. But he couldn't feel much pain right now. That was bad, right? When you couldn't feel that it hurt?

"Don't shift around too much," Janus said lowly, sitting next to him again, "just because we've got you on the good stuff doesn't mean you won't do any more damage."

He stilled, lying there motionless, until Janus sighed and shifted.

"I've never seen you this quiet before," he said, "outside of a stakeout or when you're asleep."

Remus didn't say anything.

"Here." Janus turned his head gently so it lay facing him. "There's still blood on you."

Remus just blinked as Janus started to dab at his forehead with a tissue. His brow was drawn in concentration, his gaze on his work. He caught Remus looking and raised an eyebrow.

"Yes?"

Remus blinked. Several expressions flickered across Janus's face and he dropped the tissue.

"What is it?" he barked. "Tell me what hurts, right now. Did they wear off already?"

"'M sorry."

"Don't apologize, just tell me what hurts. Did you pull your stitches out?"

"'M sorry, Boss."

Janus paused, gaze darting all over Remus's face, before he reached out and cupped his cheeks in his hands. "Tell me what you're sorry for," he instructed softly, "and then tell me why you're crying."

Crying? Remus was crying? Oh. That was bad. This was wrong. Janus wasn't kind to him. Janus wasn't gentle with him. He was only kind and gentle when he was lying or when he wanted something. Maybe that was why he was being kind and gentle right now, because Remus did so bad.

"I did bad," he mumbled, voice catching and hiccupping a few times, "I—I did bad."

"What did you do," Janus asked, hands still warm on his face, "what was bad?"

"Y' said 'good stuff,'" Remus managed, "good stuff's only for…for when it's bad and—and if it's bad then I did bad. I did bad."

Janus's eyes widened. That was bad too, right? Yes. If he did bad then that meant it wasn't good and if it wasn't good then Janus would be mad and if Janus was mad then that was bad.

"Oh, you poor thing," he heard distantly before the warm hands were on his torso, "come on, now, up you sit. Sit up, just like that, that's it."

He couldn't breathe properly. Why couldn't he breathe properly? Breathing hurt. Breathing wasn't supposed to hurt. If he did so bad that breathing hurt then Janus would be really mad.

"Easy, now." Something warm settled on his abdomen. "Slow in down. Nice and easy, come on, relax."

But Janus was mad—

"I'm not mad, sweetie," the gentle voice said, "calm down, now."

The gentle voice began to lull him, breathing becoming less and less like dragging himself over razor wire and more like just inhaling and exhaling. The warmth settled on his face again.

"I expect my agents to fear me," he heard distantly, "but not like this. I don't like seeing you like this. If you're ever like this again, you come and you find me, do you understand? I'll make it better."

Remus blinked.

"…you can't understand a word I'm saying, can you?" The warmth passed over his face. "You poor thing. Oh, you poor, sweet thing…"

Remus let out a whimper as he was moved.

"Shh, shh, it's alright now. No more thinking for you right now. You go to sleep while the drugs wear off, okay?"

S-sleep? He could sleep?

"Yes, you can sleep. It's okay, just fall asleep whenever you need to. I have you." Something soft and slightly damp pressed against his forehead. "I'll look after you for now."

The last thing he thought he felt was something warm and wet cleaning the blood from his hands.

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash  @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv  @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance@whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti@ultrageekygirl

#dragonbabbles #sanders sides #remus sanders #sympathetic remus #janus sanders #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit #fic

[radioactivepeasant]

Snippet Thursday: Baby Croc Chaos

(For context, the first time the boys were allowed outside, someone took a shot at Croc, because you don't see that every day. It ended up injuring his leg. Jak attacked the man, and Damas was called to break up the fight. Despite being presumed too young for Arena trials and not having cleared the necessary obstacle training course, Damas gives permission for Jak to demand a duel on Croc's behalf. Normally this would be done by the guardian or parent of the injured child, but it's clear that the boys have no parents. Obviously, Jak won.)

Most expected the angry shapeshifter from the Arena to start making more frequent appearances after the battle trial. He had his first amulet -- earlier than most orphans in the youth barracks got them -- and his gate pass now, making him eligible for the work roster. He could start finding artifacts of his own now, and earn enough to support the creatures he called his siblings. With the ferocity he'd shown in the ring, it had been assumed that he'd jump at the chance to carve out a place for himself in Spargus.

And yet the king had sent word that they were to be returned to C-Ward in the tower the moment the Arena settled. And no one had seen them since.

Perhaps it was a confinement of sorts. The king had been fairly displeased to find the foundling boy and Tarn in the holding cells after the market brawl. He'd been even angrier when he learned the context of it.

Those who had been in the market that day, and had witnessed the scaly spirit-child thing, suggested that Lord Damas was simply being cautious. As strange as "Croc" was -- even disturbing to some -- it was a child, unmistakably. There'd been no call for Tarn to fire at it -- and firing willy-nilly in the market was a good way to get a shell to the head anyway.

The matter came up during the city's weekly review of the wall defenses. Hutch, head of the city architects' guild, handed over the blueprints for his wall turret proposal and glanced to the far edge of the throne room. Strangely, the shapeshifter was there, sitting amongst the date palms with the talking animal and the spirit infant.

What a time to be alive that such a sentence could even be thought-!

Had Damas summoned the boy? For what purpose?

Hutch saw the orange creature point to one of the trees, and the boy moved as fast as lightning. He slapped a palm to the trunk as if trying to crush something, then took a small spray bottle from the mustelid.

Ah, the king had put them to work removing pests from the trees. Fifteen of the palms filled the room in large planters, and the architect pitied the foundlings for the unenviable task of applying pesticides to them all. Maybe they were being punished for something.

The king scanned the blueprints carefully before passing them to the director of finance.

"This design is compact enough that adding it to the wall wouldn't put a burden on the city's budget. However, I am concerned about the amount of eco an automated turret would consume. What do you plan to run it on?"

"S- solar...power...actually," Hutch answered sheepishly. "I've just realized my proposal for solar panels is still sitting on my desk."

Lottie, the finance director, looked at him dryly. "Probably would've helped to start with that one."

The architect flushed slightly. "It's been a busy week," he protested, "The monks have been at me for old archived blueprints of Tributary!"

Then he wearily asked, "Should I go home and get the other proposal, sire?"

Damas didn't answer right away, which was unlike him.

Instead, his eyes were fixed on the trio of inhu'men orphans working in the artificial grove. (What were they? Hutch didn't think they were actually spirits, but darned if he'd ever seen a Lurker with so little hair!)

After a moment, the king seemed to shake himself.

"No, that won't be necessary," he said quickly. "Just...explain it to Lottie when we adjourn for noon rest."

Unexpectedly, that week's patrol leader for the gate wall spoke up.

"They get noon rest too, right, sir?"

Evidently the presence of the shapeshifter and siblings had concerned him as well. Odolan shifted uncomfortably, whether because of the boys or because of -- apparently -- calling out the king himself.

"Shouldn't they be in the barracks during meetings?" Odolan pressed.

"No," answered the king. He sounded almost disinterested, as if the matter barely merited comment. "They have a room here. They just don't stay in it."

Now his other advisors began to shift and frown between each other. The only people who should've been living in the tower were the ruler of Spargus and his personal guards, a detachment of medics and patients in the warriors' Convalescence Ward, and the staff of the water treatment and kitchen facilities. Underage foundlings -- almost always rescues or defectors from Marauders, not exiles -- went to the youth barracks. They had to make connections with their age mates, to form Squads! It was a well-established part of Spargan culture by now. Why in the world would their king deny the new foundlings that? Was it because of their appearance?

Odolan looked deeply uncomfortable as he asked, "Is- is this because of how the boy killed Tarn? He was well within his rights to do so."

"Mhm. That's partially why." Damas didn't look up. He scratched notes quickly into a pad of recycled paper. "Here, Hutch. Look this over and tell me if it's sound."

He handed him a rough diagram of the front wall with alternate turret locations, then twirled the pencil between his fingers.

"Er...mostly, sire. But that junction there is above several wall residences."

"Ah, right. Scratch that one then." Damas took the pad back and drew a line through the box meant to represent a turret.

"Actually- here. Draw me those solar panels you're on about. Show me where you'd put them before you discuss it with Lottie."

When he finally glanced up, he saw that half the guild heads and advisors were still casting confused or curious glances over at the boys in the grove. The children were eavesdropping, of course. The chores had been implemented in an attempt to mitigate that somewhat, but with the amount of scarring and eco healing marks in their bones, Damas suspected they'd learned to listen carefully no matter how busy they looked. He couldn't explain to his council why he indulged Jak’s refusal to go back outside until Croc's nightmares stopped. Or admit that his own curiosity was keeping him from sending them to a barracks RA to sort out. It may have been -- he had trouble admitting it, even to himself, without pain -- the age of the youngest. He was no older than Mar had been when he was taken. He was small, and helpless, and the youth barracks were for teenagers, not toddlers. Separating Jak from his younger sibling just seemed cruel. And too much like how he'd lost Mar.

With a long-suffering look, Damas asked dryly, "Does anyone else have concerns about the gremlin gang they'd like to voice so that we can focus on the task at hand?"

Taking it as an invitation rather than sarcasm, -- she'd never been good at detecting sarcasm, in her defense -- Lottie remarked, "Who's going to look after the wee creatures when the lad enters his first Squad?"

Damas waved that off immediately. "They're not ready for Squads. Not in the least."

"Not ready for Squads?" Hutch muttered to Odolan, not quiet enough to go unheard, "How can a foundling not be ready for basic training?"

At that moment, the nature spirit thing came scampering out of the palms with an excited trill. Scuttling along before him was a very panicked scorpion -- no doubt it had been sleeping in the soil brought up for the planters. The scaly toddler crouched, tail lashing, then pounced. He held it it up by the tail, proudly showing the small arachnid to the adults, then his brothers.

"Good catch, Croc!" Jak ducked out of the palms. "Let me see it."

He ignored the presence of the council and crouched to examine the absolutely furious scorpion.

"Cool. Never seen one this small before. Check out the carapace-"

"Urr?"

"Hard shell. Body."

"Urr!"

"It ain't a juvenile. That means this sucker's got some pretty major poison in that stinger."

Damas opened his mouth to say something, then shut it again and shook his head. Perhaps eventually the council would learn what he had: it was completely and utterly useless to try to interrupt Jak when he was excited about something.

Carefully, Croc set the scorpion down and pinned it in place with his foot claws. With chubby fingers and the SparSign common to infants and toddlers, he asked, "I eat dat spicy bug?"

"Yeah sure, just not the tail."

Instant panic amongst the adults.

Damas launched out of the throne.

"Oh for the love of- Croc! No! Do not eat raw scorp-"

Too late.

The wide, wide mouth opened, and with a noticeable crunch, the scorpion met its end. While the adults stared in wide-eyed expressions ranging from disbelief to bravely stifling explosive laughter, Jak relieved Croc of the stinger.

"We'll put this with the other ones."

Jak finally looked up and stared impassively at Damas, still ignoring the council.

"What?"

"He's an infant, Jak! You don't know he can eat scorpions safely," Damas sighed.

The boy shrugged. "He's eaten way worse and been fine."

The orange one scurried out and up onto Jak’s head.

"Bald-faced lie. Eatin' KG gave him the most unholy flatulence and you know it."

Jak pretended not to hear this.

"Besides," he said, sounding cocky, "Dax and me ate scorpions plenty of times when we were little. It didn't hurt us."

This got an...interesting reaction from the Wastelanders. In what environment were young children allowed to catch and eat scorpions regularly? They were supervised, of course, they would have had to be-

"You realize," Daxter said with a hint of bitterness in his voice, "That we wouldn't have had to hunt scorpions if your absentee uncle had actually fed us instead of spending the grocery money on treasure maps every month."

Well then.

As one, the advisors turned to look at Damas. He simply gestured to the boys as if saying "you see?"

Dry as dust, the king asked, "Any other objections to continued adult supervision?"

Odolan shook his head and wondered how the strange orphans had even lived this long.

"I withdraw the question."

#fic prompts #writing prompts #jak and daxter #dadmas #king damas #jak and daxter au #baby croc #baby croc au #free day thursday #i think the explorer was affectionate but not a responsible guardian #i mean his hut is like all books and maybe two pieces of furniture and he's just 'bye unaccompanied minor I'm leaving on yet another quest' #jnd croc #btw you can actually cook and eat scorpions. apparently they taste like crab #council is like 'we have established protocols for orphans' #damas is like 'yes but they were raised by seashells and might wreck the barracks' #they're like 'oh. i see. carry on.'

[monstersandmaw]

Oats the kelpie (single dad, dad-bod, absolute softie sweetheart) is now up on Patreon on early release! You can read it right now for $3, or for $5 you can have access to everything pre-2020 mothballing.

Background info post on the Full Moon Motorcycles group here Oats Appreciation post here

Featuring a plus-size, bisexual, not very confident reader, and a divorced, Scottish, single-dad, biker kelpie with a soft-dad bod and a heart as big as his bike’s engine (possibly bigger).

Wordcount: 7562

Preview:

You pushed open the glass door of Full Moon Motorcycles and willed yourself not to feel self-conscious or out of place.

Having both an older brother and a mother who rode motorbikes had at least given you a fair bit of familiarity with bikes and the general ‘biker culture’, but it was mostly the fact that almost all the ‘biker girls’ you saw posing on social media were slim and toned, which you were decidedly not.

From the utterly foetid takes in the comments section of the one post your brother had shared on his page with you in it, you’d also got the impression that the biker community was not particularly kind to any woman with a waist over 25 inches. It probably wasn’t the case, but your one experience with it had been enough to make you very wary.

And yet, as you made your way towards the bike shop’s counter and the older man with floppy, greying hair and warm brown eyes looked up, you were greeted with an open, welcoming smile.

“Hi there,” he said, standing up with a grunt from the comfy chair where he’d been sitting in the corner near the shop’s antique cash register. “What can I do for you?”

You smiled shyly and glanced along the wooden countertop before returning your gaze to him. “I’m looking for a present for my brother, but I’m kind of on a budget…”

“Gotcha. We’ve got some silly key fobs there,” he said, indicating a rotating display rack at one end of the counter, with mottoes that ranged from funny to explicit, “But if they like working on their bike themselves, you can’t go wrong with some maintenance supplies… Not the most glamorous but I promise they’ll be grateful to you all the same.”

“Could always tie a festive ribbon round it,” you said, and he chuckled and nodded.

“That’s the spirit.”

You eyed the reasonable price of the fobs with some relief, and then followed his gesture towards the various bottles of chain degreaser and the like, and a few other useful tools and kits that were stacked on shelves on the back wall to the right of a door that presumably led into the back and store rooms.

The right hand side of the shop had the counter and some shiny, new bikes that had been parked in a row around the perimeter of the space, and the left hand side was more open with a bench or two against the brick walls, and some red, mechanics’ tool-chests tucked against the back wall. A number of leather two- and one-piece suits hung in racks at the furthest end though, with helmets on shelves and a few rows of t-shirts, jeans, gloves, and boots displayed too. There were oil stains in the centre of the polished concrete floor, and you suspected that tinkering took place there outside of the shop’s usual opening hours.

The whole vibe of Full Moon Motorcycles was friendly and cosy, with a slightly industrial, grungy note for some flavour.

In short, you loved it.

“There are also some fun helmet covers –” the older man chuckled, and added, “A number of the regulars here have them, and there are also some earplugs, or perhaps a tough phone case and mount? A chain care kit? There are some vinyl stickers too, and t-shirts, socks, neck warmers, balaclavas, mugs, helmet care kits, thermals…”

Laughing, you held up your hands for him to stop, and he started to chuckle too.

“I’ll let you browse in peace, sweetheart,” he said, his whisky brown eyes twinkling. Even his un-looked-for endearment came across as kindly instead of creepy, and not many men could pull that off. “You just holler if you have questions and I’ll be happy to –”

The door opened behind you and he broke off as his attention was snagged by the arrival of a heavy-set guy in dark jeans and a softly-worn, black leather jacket. He held a black helmet with a tinted visor in his large hands, and he looked more than a little wind-blown and rumpled.

Incongruous with his rather roguish-dishevelment, a lock of his long, thick, slightly grizzled, black hair was held back by a little hair-clip with a Barbie-pink, fabric bow. It didn’t fit with the dark scruff of stubble on his jaw or the piercing green-blue eyes at all, but he seemed completely unfazed by its presence.

“Oats!” the older man exclaimed with obvious joy, clapping his hands. “It’s been a while, my boy! How was the trip to Scotland? You make it round the NC500 this time?”

The ‘boy’ looked to be in his mid to late thirties…

“Ach, no’ a chance this time, Hank,” the man chuckled with a heavy, Scottish accent lacing his rich, rough baritone. Exactly where in Scotland he was from, you couldn’t tell, but it was lyrical and attractive all the same.

“Ah, next time, next time. And is Natalie well?

“Oh aye, my wee Loch Ness Monster is doing just fine. She’ll be terrorising her mother for the Christmas holidays. I came straight from the road though — clutch started playing up just south of Birmingham.” He grimaced, but even that looked charming somehow. “Sort of hoped you might find a minute to take a look at it for me if I left the Old Girl here. No rush though.”

“No problem, Oats. We’ll get her running properly again in no time. Bet you’re missing little Natalie already,” Hank added sympathetically.

“Ah, you have no idea,” the man, peculiarly-named ‘Oats’, sighed ruefully, shaking his head.

“See she left you with a parting gift though,” Hank snorted, pointing at the bow hair clip.

With a slight frown to his dark eyebrows, Oats reached up and patted at his head until he found it, and then he laughed. It was a loud, delighted, full-bellied sound that reverberated through the space while it lasted, and he left the hair clip where it was with no trace of self-consciousness as he lowered his hand again. “Aye, that she did. Surprised it survived the journey down with my lid on and everything. Oh –” His unusually pale green eyes landed on you, watching him and lurking near the rows of t-shirts on the back wall, and he went still.

Those sea-grey eyes raked you up and down, clearly noting the way your black leggings clung to the curves of your thighs and hips, and the black hoodie, which maybe went some way to hiding the softness of your stomach a bit, and he swallowed visibly. He looked… hungry. That was not the usual reaction you had grown accustomed to from men, and you let the flare of heat lick up your insides for just a moment, daring to hope that maybe he did find you attractive.

“Sorry,” he said in your direction, with a soft, dusky smile. “Didnae mean t’interrupt.”

Read the whole thing right now over on Patreon, as well as everything else in my exclusive masterlist, plus February's story involving a holiday romance with a naga in Starfall Springs...

#oats the kelpie #kelpie #male kelpie #male monster #monster romance #single dad monster #monster single dad #dad bod #male monster x female reader #plus size reader #plus size female reader

[sweetyyhippyy]

Getting Flowers. Eddie Munson x Fem! Reader. *FLUFF*

(Not my pictures. My header.)

Summary: Eddie surprises his girlfriend with her favorite flowers after having a hard time lately.

TW: Reader crying. Reader being stressed. Eddie being the best boyfriend.

Word count: 1.3k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eddie was hunched over the sink, taking care of the dishes he had used while cooking dinner that way afterward he could spend as much time with his girlfriend as he could since their time had been so scarce the past few weeks due to her working so much. From the front of the apartment, he heard the door slam shut. He jumps slightly at the sound, turning the faucet off and looking behind his shoulder.

She had visibly had a rough day, her hair was in a messy ponytail, and her eye makeup was slightly smeared from rubbing at her eyes in frustration all day. She sighed as she kicked her heels off, walking across the carpet in the main room over to the kitchen where Eddie was. She didn’t speak as she wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head in the middle of his back as she squeezed him.

“Hey, baby.” He runs his fingers along her arm softly. “You okay?”

The dam breaks and she sniffles as she begins to cry behind him, burying her face in his back.

“Baby, hey.” Eddie coos, turning around so he can hold her and see her face to face. “What happened? Why are you so sad?”

She hiccups a few sobs before she looks up at him, wiping her eyes clear of the tears that were falling down her cheeks. “I’m just having a rough time with literally everything. Work is so horrible right now. I’m staying all these late hours just because they have nobody else to stay, if I do something wrong I get in trouble for it even though I’m still learning how to do all these things they keep asking me to do, the people there are so fucking miserable that it’s making me miserable.” She sobs. “And because I’m staying so late I don’t get to see you except for coming home to eat dinner with you and then going to bed because I’m too tired to go do anything or sit and watch our shows with you. I feel like a horrible girlfriend and I hate it. I hate all of this.”

Eddie holds the back of her head against his chest, rocking her back and forth slightly to calm her down. He kisses her forehead while he lets her cry it out since he knew it was the only thing that would help her get through it.

It was a good 10 minutes of her crying into his chest, making a small wet spot in the middle of his shirt from her tears. She finally inhales shakily before picking her head up and wiping her face. “ ‘M sorry.”

“Sorry for what, sweetheart?” He rubs her upper arms comfortingly.

“That I just came home and laid all of that on you like that. I’ve just been struggling so much with all of it and I couldn’t hold it in anymore.”

“It’s okay, baby. It’s not good for you to hold it in anyways. Why don’t you take some time off so you can take your mind off work?”

She sighs and shakes her head. “I can’t. I’m still training so I can’t request any time off until I’m done. Even then, we still need to keep putting money aside so we can get our house.”

Eddie kisses her forehead followed by her cheek. “They can’t penalize you if you’re sick, right? Go take a shower and run outside with wet hair.” He jokes, trying to lighten the mood and make her laugh.

She half smiles at him, resting her head back on his chest. “Just need you to hold me, please?”

Eddie wraps his arms around her tightly, going back to rocking her back and forth. “I got you, baby.”

****

It was Eddie’s turn to do the grocery run this week.

She gave him very strict instructions to stick to the list and not stray away from what was on the list. They were on a strict budget since they wanted to buy their own place in the next year or so.

Eddie passes by the floral section at the front of the store on the way to the checkout counter, spying a bouquet of pretty yellow sunflowers. He smiles as he picks the bouquet up and looks at them, making sure they weren’t all wilted and half dead before impulsively deciding to carry them to the checkout counter.

She might or might not freak out over him buying an extra item, but he knew he could sweet talk his way out of whatever lecture she was going to give him just by batting his eyes at her, it’s how he always got out of trouble.  

***

Eddie patiently waited for his girlfriend in their room, strumming his guitar absentmindedly, knowing she would be home any minute from work. He had left the flowers on the counter in a vase for her to see when she walked in, and for some reason he was so giddy and excited to see her reaction.

Like clockwork, 7:15pm, he heard the front door close and the keys hitting the glass bowl. He perks up in bed, staring at the back of the bedroom door and waiting for her to come in.

“Eds? I’m home.” She calls out, kicking her shoes off as she reaches the kitchen. She notices a beautiful bouquet of golden sunflowers sitting right in the middle of the counter, her heart fluttering right away. “Eddie.” She says to herself, running her thumb over one of the petals. She grabs a cup of water before walking toward the back of their apartment, opening the door and pushing it open. “Hey there, handsome.” She beams at him.

Eddie puts the guitar on the bed next to him, biting a smile back. “Hey, beautiful. How was work?” He pats his lap, motioning her to come over to him.

“It was shit. Somehow worse than the rest of the week.” She sighs, taking her hair out of the high bun it had been in all day, shaking it out. She walks over to him, straddling his lap as she throws her arms around his neck.

“I’m sorry it was bad, baby.” Eddie strokes both of her thighs lovingly.

“It did get better though.” She kisses the tip of his nose which makes him scrunch his face.

“Oh did it? What made it better?”

“This really sweet guy bought me some beautiful flowers.” She tangles her fingers into his hair and gently massages his scalp with the pads of her fingers.

“No shit? He sounds like a great guy.” Eddie snickers, kissing her neck.

“Yeah, he’s pretty great. Kinda cute… big head though.” She jokes.

Eddie picks his head up, his jaw slacked open in fake shock. “Which head are we talking about here? Because I might be offended.”

She full out belly laughs, shaking her head at her boyfriend. “You’re too much.” She presses a quick kiss to his lips, sighing in contentment. “Thank you baby.”

“For what?”

“The flowers in the kitchen.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, babe?” He tilts his head to the side, raising his eyebrow.

She giggles at his little game, kissing his cheek repeatedly. “Oh, you don’t, huh? That’s a shame, I was willing to give you all the credit and you would have gotten so lucky tonight.” She clicks her tongue, wiggling her eyebrows up and down.

“Oh! You’re talking about the flowers in the kitchen! I thought you were talking about the flowers in the bathroom! Oh yeah, yeah, yeah I got you the flowers in the kitchen!” He stumbles over his words, a smirk planted on his face.

“Oh really?!” She says in fake shock. “I never would have guessed! What a good boyfriend you are to me.” She coos at him, cupping his face before kissing him again. “Thank you my love. I’m so lucky to have you.”

#eddie munson #eddie munson x fem! reader #eddie munson one shot #eddie munson fic #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem reader #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson headcanon #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munsonxreader

[iraprince]

Hoya I'm currently saving up for a tablet aswell, because I'm drawing on my school's ipad that I have kept well past the due date, but have to give back now that I'm moving out of my boarding school that I'm sponsored to be in, and i wanted to ask for tips/recommendations what to get, because I have literally no money, and am scared to blow it on a tablet that sucks or something

advice on what to get can vary, but i am VERY opinionated on what not to get: fuck wacom lol. this from someone who's been on an intuos pro for years, but while they at least have longevity going for them, mine has had constant driver issues and a major hardware failing -- years ago the port for connecting it to the comp AND FOR CHARGING IT via usb failed for no reason, which is apparently a common issue for my model, so for years i have been forced to 1. only use it via wireless connection, which makes the driver fussiness WORSE and 2. buy a separate universal camera battery charger, bc w the port failing that was the only way to charge the thing. wacoms are fucking EXPENSIVE, and they're lovely to draw on, but imo for the price they should be massaging my balls as a bonus, not breaking constantly and making me tear my hair out. they are just not worth it unless you have the cash to burn and you're a HUUUUUUGE stickler on all the really technical stuff.

rant aside. i have heard nothing but lovely things about huion, which is why it's what i'm switching to now; here and there i've seen ppl say the drivers can be fussy on mac, but it doesn't seem like a dealbreaker. huions are also pretty damn affordable if you're looking at a standard tablet rather than a screen one.

if a huion is outside your budget, i think i can recommend a monoprice -- my first tablet ever was a tiny wacom bamboo, but my first "serious" tablet that i used constantly/daily was a monoprice. it was dirt cheap and it worked absolutely fine and it lasted me for ages. i haven't used one in a very long time, so i can't speak to if the quality is the same as when i used one, but i always think fondly of the one i had. i remember the first-time driver setup being awful, but once it got working i don't remember ever having issues with it again.

in terms of just general tips: get the biggest one you can afford. it's better for your wrist, and even though it's scary to invest in something when you're not sure you'll like it, it's usually worse to pay for something crappy that you'll end up wanting to replace eventually anyway. even when i've had really cramped workspaces or no real workspace at all, i've never found that the compact-ness of a tiny tablet has made up for how ergonomically shit it is to draw on one; i would rather awkwardly wrangle a slightly-too-big tablet any day.

good luck, i hope this is helpful!

[icouldntcareless22]

The Deal

Summary: She was officially failing in life and most importantly in university! With her grades hanging of the edge of a thread and tutors rejecting her left and right her only option is to make a deal with the devil a.k.a Kim Seungmin.A deal should always be fair. Your grades in exchange for Kim Seungmin's dream girl. Simple?...Right?!

Word Count: 35k

Slight enemies to lovers, idiots to lovers, slow burn, angst, fluff.

No warnings, some foul language.

AN: Finally it's here! Tumblr won't let me post it in one post, so I am forced to divide into two parts. Would you be interested in SKZ x Greek Mythology theme? Hope you enjoy!!!

Part 2

@lethallyprotected

    "Your tutor requested to be released from his duties"

"Again?!" You cried out, frustrated beyond belief. You started sweating in your seat. That was my 6th one! You thought, running your hands through your hair messing up the soft curls you had tried to make 2 hours or so ago. "Mr Marlow isn't there anything that I can do? Can't I do some extra credit?" You pleaded the professor that stood across you, desperation clear on your face.

   Mr. Marlow was slumped also in defeat in his plush rolling chair. His office was always the epitome of an organized chaos. Heavy books sat on top of his mahogany desk, some opened, some closed. Papers littered the surface, some with angry red notes accompanying them and some others filled with highlighted colors as to remind him of an extra important issue. 

      You always felt grateful that you had been assigned to Mr. Marlow, he may oddly resemble the white rabbit in the Alice in wonderland film personality wise, but he had a good heart and God bless him, he was so patient with you. He was the first teacher to show you such compassion and empathy and to push you to pursue more of your studies. He was an excellent teacher. And he wasn't obligated to sit and listen to you whine about your problems, but he was sitting there and trying to work out a solution with you. With great hesitation he opened his mouth "Maybe if you approached a professional?"

    You signed. "That would be way over my budget" you muttered regretfully. That would mean double the hours only to be left with crumbs. And you couldn't possibly ask your father of this.

     You signed once again and stood up with your bag on your shoulder ready to leave, slightly bowing to the old man before you. He had way more grey hair in the midst of his hair and beard since you had first met him you noticed. You bet that you were responsible for a good chuck of it. " Thank you regardless Mr Marlow. I will try to work it out" You made your way to the door with heavy steps before heading a rushed "Wait!" 

    He stood hurriedly from his chair and walked around the desk towards you, or more specifically towards to the large bookcase that covered his whole wall behind you, and started shuffling through more papers. You watched him, waiting for an explanation to his sudden manic frenzy. When he finally found what he had been searching for, he let out a yelp and turned towards you. "I shouldn't be doing this. I mean- It's not against the rules, but they wouldn't be pleased- Anyway! Y/N-"

    "Is this the part where you tell me you are my father and try to convince me to come to the dark side, professor? Because if it has cookies, let me tell you, I am already sold" you joked.

    Mr Marlow chuckled under his breath but moved on quickly. " This list that contains the names of the top students of our university. They may be of help to you. Try and persuade someone to help you, dear"he said grabbing a pen and scribbling down a note before giving you the piece of paper. A brief look in his smiling eyes and an other to the piece of paper with messy familiar swirlings on it and you were melting.

    "Thank you, Mr Marl" you smiled gracefully at him and bowed, deeper than last time, before taking the final step outside of his office.

 Now let the games begin.

 "So let me get this straight.. you will stalk the top three geniuses of the school to convince them to save your sorry ass from failing?" Yuqi provided, rather unhelpfully, in your humble opinion as she continued to stuff her face with her banana yogurt.

  "I am not stalking! I am watching them with an interest" you corrected her sternly. You were no stalker. You were a girl with purpose.

   "Sounds like stalking to me, but whatever floats your boat" she ironically replied. "Who will be your first target?" She said glancing at the instagram page you were snooping through. "Namjoon?"

    "I mean he is a literal genius. Who would be better to teach me than him?" You wondered out loud, fingers continuously scrolling down his page. He seemed nice, a little on the dorky side and smart. Not to mention handsome. "Well wish me luck" you said as you closed your phone and stood up.

     "You are going right now?" She asked, shocked at your standing figure.

     "Well, the semester isn't going to wait for me" you cackled and made your way to the table Kim Namjoon sat.

    It was not your first choice to approach him like this, but he always seemed to be running around doing this and that, which left lunch as the only safe option that didn't made you into a creep (in comparison to approaching him in a bar setting as you had contemplated). But now that you were approaching the group you were nervous, not only you had to ask a very attractive and smart stranger to tutor your failing ass, but you had to-partly- do it in front of his equally attractive friends.

     You heard a lively laugh booming from the table, a young man with a heart shaped smile was the source. You scanned them quickly, going through shades and shades of hair colors, before settling on the ash brown color that you wanted to speak to.

     "Kim Namjoon?" You asked, tone uncertain. Even though you said one name, seven pair of eyes turned to you. Every one more attractive than the next, you though dreamily. You briefly locked gaze with a short male with honey coloured hair and equally honeyed smile before an answer from your desired target caught your attention. "That would be me" a low voice answered you.

     You turned your gaze to the tall male. Board shoulder that enhanced his already tall frame, even thought his oversized tee and lose pants made it difficult to pinpoint, you were sure he was well built. Sand coloured hair, neatly cut, complimented his olive complexion awfully well. Small face, even smaller than yours even though you wouldn't admit it, straight nose and upon inspecting his smile a pair of adorable dimples. Yep, that was Kim Namjoon.

     "Can I talk to you for a minute?" You asked, politely, arms crossed behind you, making sure you were using your customer service smile.

      He looked at you, obviously not recognizing you and then back to his friends that wore wolfish smiles and eagerly nodded at him. "Uhhh..Sure" he replied, not yet sure of your intentions.

      "Come on" you said, leading him away from his friend's prying ears. You ended up a few meters away, standing a bit awkwardly facing each other. You craned your neck to make eye contact with him and decided to bite the bullet. "I know that this" you made a notion between the two of you "is random, but I have a big favor to ask" you started and lowered your gaze, not being able to look up now, you played with your fingers out of nerves. "Umm I know you are really busy, but I need help." You said, finding courage to look him in the eyes. " Truth is... I am failing in math and physics and you are the only one that can help me. I heard you are a genius and I thought that learning from the best is the best strategy." 

      Okay.. that could have gone better,you thought. But flattery and a pretty female face seemed to make him flustered... hopefully enough to agree. He opened and closed his mouth several times, hands raising to stroke his neck in shame and in embarrassment at your rough compliments. "Ohh...Umm.. I don't really know if I am the one that can help you. I am pretty busy-" he started before you cut in.

      "So am I! And I really need this! I wouldn't have asked you otherwise! You won't have to work hard! Just- just when I don't get something maybe you could explain it to me? Please?" You clutched your hands together in front of you, almost giving him puppy eyes. You were desperate and it showed. 

      "I-I don't know if I will be a good teacher but..." He looked uncertain and confused but an easygoing smile made its way onto his face "Sure! If I can help, I guess" he chuckled as he shifted his weight from one foot to another.

      "Thank you! Thank you Namjoon!" You said, particularly jumping up and down from joy. You couldn't believe it! It was so easy! You were going to make it!

You weren't going to make it.

You were doomed.

Namjoon was a sweetheart and a genius. And how did geniuses speak and explain? Apparently in a language you didn't understand or comprehend.

The gentle giant was true to his word and after you exchanged numbers you started going over the basics. For the record it was difficult to meet up.. Apparently everyone wants a genius in their project, so poor Namjoon was constantly running all around the place trying to fit it all to his hectic schedule. So you took it in a fast pace, trying to absorb as much info as you could and while Namjoon tried to help you (he truly did!) that only ended with frustrated signs and desperate stomps from you. Every word he spoke was like...like it was in an other language! You hit the first wall at physics and that wall extended into the math area and grew into a bigger and bigger wall and ended up like the Great Wall of China, separating your weak academic ass from the man who had an IQ of 148. 

    Sorrowfully you said your last goodbye at Namjoon, who in turn hugged you like the child he now thought you were and told you to call him whatever you needed.

    You signed.. it was already September! How would you be able to lift your grades by February? You couldn't give up though! Your part scholarship depended on it! So you pulled out the now crumbled paper and traced your finger over the second name. 

Kim Hong Joong.

You knew of him and his rowdy crew. Plus a close friend of his, Wooyoung, worked with you. You were on good terms with him, fortunately. He was way too cute for a guy in college you though, easy to talk to and with a breathy laugh, similar to those witchy cartoon characters, you like it though...not only it was contagious, but unique too. You would have to talk to him when you went to the coffee shop later, you decided. For now you slumped on your desk, ready for an exciting lesson on philosophy.

 After a good 3 hours of Aristotle's teaching you made your way to the cafeteria. Yuqi texted you a little while back, saying that her lesson ended early and was with Yuna to the cafeteria. You stood up shrugging on your thrifted university jacket and making your way through the crowd. The weather was perfect this time of the year, still hot enough from the summer heat with a light breeze blowing just enough to refresh you. The whole campus was still green and full of life, causing students to hang around the lawn. While you crossed the campus you catch a glimpse of the mess that consisted of Han Jisung. The short brunette was a ball of energy, that completely exhausted you while on the clock together, but his charm was incomparable. You still couldn't believe it that he had broken a dozen of cups and the manager just left him off the hook. You paused your walking to greet the boy.

   "Y/N! Hi!" He exclaimed, pulling you for a side hug. You smiled at him, greeting politely his friends as well. The brunette boy only stared at you, a single nod your only greeting while the taller of the two, a pretty boy with foxy eyes gave you an adorable dimpled smile, which you returned.

   " Hi! I haven't seen you almost a week." You replied, his absence from work painfully obvious. Thankfully you, at least, had Wooyoung, the funny man making the hours pass easily.

    "Oh yeah! I had to take some days off cause boss didn't match with my uni schedule. The semester barely begun and my professors gave us 3 new projects! To see if we lost our talent over the summer. Who says that?" He cried dramatically, but you were no better than him.

    "I know right?! Math has been beating my ass too" you whined, hosting your bag higher up your shoulder. You exchanged a look that only students who were failing could understand.

     "I get you. Not my best subject as well" he agreed as well.

     You smiled sympathetically and shook your head. "Anyway I got to run! Yuqi and Yuna are waiting for me! See you later Sung" you saluted, threw a last polite smile to your listeners and took the path to the cafeteria. You heard muffled whispers behind you, but you didn't pay much attention as you put your headphones on.

     Soon you were entering the cafeteria through the double glass doors, that overlooked a good chunk of the campus yard. You looked at the crowd trying to find the pair and just as you spotted a bright orange hair color in a space bun up do in the crowd, your front made contact with something solid causing you both to fall down.

     "Ouff!" A yelp escaped you as soon as you made contact with the floor under you. Ouch! You rubbed your aching bum as you checked yourself. Other than your headphones,that fell off (those darned wireless buds! I love you and hate you at the same time!) you were good to go. You lifted your head to see a petit girl, in a similar position to yours, only clutching her pink clad phone in her hands and letting a relieved sign. She lifted her head and-

     "I am so sorry!"

     "I am sorry!" 

   You both blurted at the same time, looked each other and burst laughing. You standed up, extending a hand to the dark haired beauty in front of you. "Sorry! I wasn't watching were I was going. You good?" you apologized as you pulled her up, inspecting her. Her short black skirt let you know that her thin legs were injury free, but you asked nevertheless, making sure.

   She smiled at you and showed her phone. "Nah I am good, only worried about my phone. Don't worry about it! I shouldn't have stood in the middle" she said as she dusted herself off.       

     "I am Lee Soojin" she said, extending her hand. She had glossy black locks framing her doll like face, which consisted of huge onyx eyes, a tiny nose and a set of full lips.Although she was the same height as you, she was thinner, almost fragile looking. She was dressed to the nines, a black skirt, a white fluffy top and loafers with a slight heel. She looked like a dream. Especially in comparison to you who wore flared jeans with a black tee, your outfit completing a pair of double soled black converse and your loyal thrifted university jacket. 

   "L/N Y/N" you said, shaking her hand.

   "I know.Sort of" she laughed a bit awkward in response to your raised brows. She knew you? "I often come by the coffee shop you work in. You get my coffee just right"

   Ohh."Vanilla Latte with one spoonful of sugar?" You asked, her face coming back to you bit by bit.

   "Yeah!"she beamed, unnaturally happy that her barista remembered her face. 

   "Nice to finally.. knowing you? " You joked, cocking your head. "I gotta go now. I will see you at the shop I guess" You said turning to see if Yuqi was still were you last saw her. She was. "Goodbye " you waved, before making your merry way to your table.

   "See you then"She called,waving. 

   As you made your way to your friends,you accidentally locked gazes with a boy who sat on the near table. Why was he looking at you so persistently? But then you noticed his gaze was still nailed to the spot, where your exchange with Soojin have been. You looked over your shoulder seeing Soojin talking with a tall male. Oh, well that made more sense, you snickered and started walking away.

   "Girl!" Yuqi exclaimed seeing you approach. "You okay? You fell on your ass pretty hard." She laughed that throaty laugh of hers, clearly enjoying your suffering.

   "I am glad my suffering and humiliation is funny to you" you murmured as you took a sit across her.

   "Don't pay attention to her, bub. You okay?" Yuna asked. She was always a motherly figure to the group, always asking and caring about you two. 

   "Thank you Yuna. I am fine Yuna" you answered sweetly, not looking to the direction of Yuqi. In response she laughed even harder, mocking me right back. 

   "Did you figure out what to do with your tutor problem?" The orange haired hirl asked as she was playing with the remaining food on her tray.

   "My second line of defense is Kim Hong Joong. I know him, sort of. Wooyoung is friends with him. I will try to get more info from him, I guess" you answered, unsure as you are a spoonful of the food the girls brought you.

   "And the third Kim?"she asked, mirth dancing in her eyes. She found it extremely funny that the top 3 students of the school were Kims'. 

   "Kim Seungmin." You muttered,against your bitten fingernails. Anxiety was not your scene. "I didn't find him on insta. I don't really know anyone who knows him. I will have to snoop around" Yuna swatted your bitten hand away from your mouth. 

   "I can ask some people if you want" suggested Yuqi, in the mist of a bite. You nodded gratefully towards her. Yuna looked between you two, several times before signing "You know you should stop talking like you are members of a mafia gang" she contemplated, finishing the last of her desert. 

   You looked at Yuqi, cocked your head and with one voice you both answered: "No"

   Yuna laughed, raising her hands as if she was admitting defeat, Yuqi and you soon followed.

   You were on the very edge to being late.

Once again your professor thought that, their lesson was the only thing taking up your time so he thought it would do you good to deepen on the subject. 

  For an extra half hour.

 Which left you with little time to no time to eat, cause queues in the cafeteria were a bitch and hurrying to make your way to your afternoon shift.

   When the coffee shop was on your line of vision, you were finally able to catch your breath. Usually the sight of the small coffee shop that was full of  glass covered walls and potted plants brought you a sense of calm. Today you were on edge though, not only you were running all the way from across campus, but you were going to ask Wooyoung about Kim Hong Joong's number so you can make contact with your second contestant. 

   As soon as you walked through the glass door, the sound of shutters going off greeted you. Your boss's idea to make the place instagramable was the best thing that could happen to her. Cute art on the walls, well placed neon lights, that were not over the top and fit the relaxing vibe of the shop were placed on bare walls, that the costumers could be photographed against. Cute cozy sofas and chairs in pale colors were all over the shop. A grand staircase by the bar lead to the second floor, which was reformed into a studying area for the struggling students. All in all, the shop was an instagram dream, the staff was consisted mostly of cute looking guys and dashing girls (you still couldn't understand how you got the job, you were pretty but those people were on a whole other level) but you wouldn't complain.

    You made your way behind the bar, into the staff room shedding your jacket and your favourite messenger bag and donned your black apron with the log of the shop.  By the time you were out, Wooyoung was leaning against the counter, sweet talking to some girls that were giggling in response. You shook your head and started to make a cup of coffee for yourself, reading yourself for a busy shift. 

    You had barely touched the machine, when you noticed a tall boy waving at you to get your attention. You went to him and started reciting your familiar line: "Hello. What can I get you?"

    He smiled prettily at you and leaned slightly closer so he can speak more quietly "Hello.. Can I order a coffee and maybe you can deliver it to the table?" He asked, scratching the back of his neck, not sure how to get out his inner thoughts.

     "Sure" you answered easily. "What can I get you?"

      "A vanilla latte with one spoonful of sugar please. Can you deliver it to the table by the window? To the girl with the green cardigan. Tell her it's from Eric" you raised your head to the direction the boy pointed and saw Soojin sitting there with a couple of friends you vaguely recognized.

     "Well, Eric...consider me your cupid for the evening. Don't leave until after I give her the drink" You supplied with a crooked grin as you made the coffee. You exited the bar and drink in hand you made your way to the girls.

     "Good evening Soojin. Girls" you greeted, placing the cup in front of her. "This is for you from the gentleman over there" you pointed out the lean form of Eric, that stood rooted in place. He gave an adorably awkward wave and a charming smile and bolted (as confidently as he could) out of the door.

      "You are for sure popular" you joked.

    She politely raised her hands, silently arguing with your statement. "You just got here? Is.. Jisung's.. shift over?"

      "Jisung is the brunette one. The red headed one is Wooyoung. But yes, he is done for the day. And I am just getting started..Yay.." You made sure to plaster a very fake smile to show your.. excitement for the day that is to come. "Anyway, nice seeing you again. I gotta go back now" you said, already walking backwards to your post.

       "Hey Y/N! How it's going?" Wooyoung greeted you now that the coast was clear of beautiful girls, that required his attention.

      "I am good. I wanted to ask you something though... about your friend Hong Joong-"you started to say, but was rudely interrupted.

       "While you are beautiful, he is currently semi-available. He has his sight on this girl-" he started, but you quickly cut him off.

       "Thank you for the unwanted info and for the compliment, but that was not my intention. I actually wanted to know if he is interested in tutoring. I learned that, he is one of the top students. Currently math and physics are making my life a living hell and I thought maybe someone who was on a more...high intellectual level, would be able to help little old me" you finished.

       He stared for bit before answering "Well, I don't know if he have the time, but I'll tell you what. I'll give you his number so you can ask him yourself" he exclaimed, already fishing his phone out of his back pocket.

      "Thank you, Wooyoung! I owe you one!"  You grinded big and wide. Maybe luck would be on your side this time. "How it's going with Somi by the way?" You asked, as you put your phone back to its place under the bar.

       His smile immediately fell and frustration took place. "She hasn't called, texted or anything! I just don't understand! We go out, have fun, we are talking and suddenly, she disappears! Is that normal?" He cried out, hands shooting to his fiery locks, messing them further up.

      "Maybe she doesn't know what she wants yet. Or maybe she hasn't cleared up a previous relationship yet and is hesitant to get involved with you" you shrugged as you leaned back into the wooden surface of the cashier.

     "Well why can't she say so then?! What does she think that I would do?" He clicked his tongue as he cleaned the tools he used to make a coffee. At least he was putting his frustration into good use.

        "Hello!" A voice sounded from behind you and you turned to ask yet again, what the next person would like.

     You were once again on your way to the coffee shop. You swore that these days the shop saw you more than your own house. It was a sorry excuse of a house really, but it was a house. You couldn't complain, it was cheap rent and a roof over your head. You walked into the shop and immediately you were greeted by a familiar voice "Hello! What would you lik- Oh it's you" the man finished, his voice significantly lower by the end of his sentence.

      "Nice to see you too, Sung" you sassed back, walking to the bar where he usually lounged. "An Americano, please! Is he here?" You inquired as you watched him get to work. The shade he dyed his hair now suited him very well, you thought. Pure black with blue undertones. You had heard several girls gossiping or rather complimenting him on his new appearance. He had let his hair grow a bit longer, not enough to grow a mullet, but enough to ruffle through. Today he donned a white shirt and black skinny jeans with chains, that gave him an edge. He never learned his lesson though, you clicked your tongue, white clothes and making coffee didn't go together. As he turned to you, you noticed a tiny stain on his sleeve. You passed him a bill as you took your coffee.

       "Yeah, he is upstairs" he answered as he passed your bill right back to you, winking.

        "Thank you love" you said, winking back and making your way upstairs. For a Wednesday afternoon the second floor was understandable empty, especially at the beginning of the semester. That's why you immediately knew who was the party who awaited you. You crossed the floor and took the opposite seat. "Hong Joong, right?"

        "Yes. Y/N?" He asked you, hands around his cappuccino. He had a small face, his straight slim nose was a masterpiece you were jealous of and pared with a nice set of lips, he seemed adorable. What greatly contrasted his sweet face was his wild half white half black hair, that was styled into a mullet with the side chopped off. Along with his hair, his multiple piercings gave off a more bad boy vibe that you were used to.

        "Yeah thank you so much that you agreed to come. Wooyoung mentioned your.. hectic schedule." You laughed the awkwardness off. 

       "Don't mention it! I came to talk to you, but I don't know if I can help you. I am on my final year and this will get crazy pretty soon." He said, grimacing throughout every word. He threw an apologetic smile towards you, but you cutt him off before he could continue.

        "Yeah I know! I know and I don't want to pressure you! But I really need help.. I really can't afford to fail.. I can be available whenever  you are. If you tell me in advance, I can schedule it with my manager so my shifts won't be a problem." you breathed, suddenly dropping out was becoming a very real problem. You never thought that you would be so close to failing and doing so was not an option.

       "Well then..okay. I will try to help you. But just so you know things will be difficult. Mainly because my hours can be weird-"

       "I am fine with that! Just-...Thank you" you finished, a grateful smile spreading across your face.

       "How about we start now?" He suggested with an oh-so-innocent smile on his face. 

       "Now now? Well I have only my math notebook with me.."you trailed.

       "Excellent! I can see where do you get stuck then!"

       "Yes! Thank you Hong Joong!"

        "..And then she tried to call your grandma out!" He cried out onto the speaker 

        You laughed loudly at that. "Did she beat this granny up?" You questioned, knowing oh so well your grandma's fiery temper.

      "They almost dueled on the supermarket with the carts!" He giggled, recalling the scene.

      "Damn! I wish I was there to see her!" You cheered gleefully. You had missed your home.

         "Aahh you should have seen her! Now that you said this..when are you coming home?? Your grandparents are talking my ear off! They want to see you! And so do I?You know better than this!" He laughed that full belly laugh of his. 

     "I will come home for Christmas daddy. I promise!" You oathed. 

    "Can't you miss one weekend?" He asked, defeat evident on his tone. You couldn't miss your shifts, but he didn't have to know that. 

  "I will be there before you even know it, old man!" You sassed, distracting him. 

 "Yeah, right " he scoffed into the line.

You couldn't go now. Not when everything was going great!

     Everything, for once, was going in your way! You and Hoonie were on spectacular terms when it came on understanding, he explained everything so well, that it was practically impossible not to get it! Your physics professor ,after seeing your newfound effort in her class and after a particular talk with Mr. Marlow, agreed to give you an extra project, so you can get some much needed credit.

     You were running around double the time you were used to, but it was worth it. Many times Hong Joong would finish particularly late, so he would come over to teach you and you would study well into the early hours of the morning, but you were content. You were good on your house payments, even making something extra to send to your dad. He was on house installments that were kicking his ass and together with your grandparents he made it through, but with little to spare. 

     Your phone vibrated as you spoke. You checked it out seeing the familiar Instagram name of Hong Joong."Yes yes dad! I gotta go now. I love you" 

        "-ve you too " you vaguely heard him call out, before you hung up. A message from Hong Joong made you freeze. 

We should talk.

That's all it said. You quickly unlocked your phone, searching for his number and called.

         "Hey Hong Joong! I saw your message.. Is everything okay?"you inquired, plopping down your bed. You should reverse it back to the couch setting, since you expected the man that you were currently on the phone with, you mentally noted.

         "Yeah, but I have some bad news. I will tell you in person. We have a session in 2 hours right?" He asked, absentmindedly as he was shuffling through papers. He was making so much noise you could barely hear him.

        "Yeah, I will be expecting you Hoonie"you said as you nervously bounced on your bed.

       "Do a recap, okay? I will test you on the last four chapters" More shuffling was heard from the other end of the line. 

       "Okay.. I have the papers you were asking for ready, by the way. I asked my friend" you mumbled, teeth already working on your ruined nails.

       "Thank you Y/Nie! I won't be long" he chanted, his voice more distant now.

        "Ok! Byee!" you called. You shouldn't panic, maybe he wanted to tell you about a problem he had found on your worksheet, you reasoned. It didn't have to be anything bad. You decided to distract yourself, you had chores to do and a review to complete before Hong Joong arrived. Get up, you said to yourself. Don't think about it.

         You pulled yourself up and started collecting your fallen clothes, that you had scattered around in your try to get to your lecture on time this morning. You should go to the laundry mat later, you noted. The pots, that were left on the sink yesterday evening, were starting to smell so you donned your apron and quickly started cleaning the kitchen as well. An hour passed by, before you settled on your old but comfy grey couch-bed to study per request of Hong Joong. Math were starting to get easier as you went by, but they were still a pain to deal with.

    Not much time passed, or so you thought, before you heard a knock. You looked at your clock to see it was six o'clock already.

        You stretched over the sofa to reach the doorknob, turning slightly to let Jong Joong in.

      "You know you shouldn't open the door like that. What if I was a stranger trying to rob you?" He said as he passed the threshold, already hand in his backpack to get out his books. 

       "If someone came in and saw me like this, he wouldn't tried to rob me, he would pity me so much that he would even give me pocket money' you said, eyebrows lifting as you watched him spread books upon books on your coffee table and on your floor. 

      "Ha ha" he ironically said. "Are you ready?" 

      "What was that you wanted to tell me?" You wondered.

      He hesitated, but eventually he said "Let's study first ..I will tell you after." Do you studied meticulously for the next hour or so. And when you thought the torture had finished, you were in for an equal bad time.

      "What?!"you incrediously exclaimed, shocked by the news. "Noo!" you shouted in despair. 

      "I am sorry. We are only a month in and I couldn't keep up." He admitted regretfully.

      "No...this isn't your fault Hoonie. I had known that you would be burdened eventually. Your final year is beating your ass, you should do your best to concentrate" you admitted, head lowering. Despite your words of encouragement, you felt as someone was destroying your carefully build house of cards.

       "Thanks for understanding. And if it comforts you are doing much better already!" He tried to cheer you up, but a look on your face was enough to shut him up. "Do you have a backup plan?" He asked you, concerned.

        "I have one more person, that was recommended to me. But I don't know him so I have to look him up. I hope that he is accepting "you signed, checking your phone. "Hey, do you have plans right now? Yuqi and Yuna are coming for a movie night" 

        "I have plans with Yunho and Mingi, but I appreciate the offer. Good night, Y/N!"

        You smiled and waved him goodbye. You would have to study twice as hard now. It was true, that you were getting better. Physics, with a little more effort, would be doable. Math on the other hand...

         You opened your phone, entering Instagram. You tapped on the search bar and typed Kim Seungmin. But no results came.. well it came up with several names and faces, but none of them was connected to your university or had common friends with you.. How the hell you were supposed to find him? You searched on Facebook, on Viber too.. N.O.T.H.I.N.G! Was the dude a ghost or something?

       A knock on your door pulled you out of your daydream. You recognized the loud voices and the frequent giggles, so once again you opened the door without checking. 

       "Babyy~" arms wrapped around you and the smell of peaches filled your senses. Yuqi rocked you in her arms, quite strongly, for such a petite figure. "How was your lesson with Joong?" She asked as she released you and Yuna made her way into your small home, carrying a large pizza.

         "Hoonie was wonderful, but that was our last lesson" you wailed. Wiping fake tears, you continued "He got assigned to two new projects and his professor suggested him for a possible internship. I mean, I am happy for him. I am just worried." You ranted as you got up.

        You made your way to your fridge and took out a half empty bottle of rose wine, that you kept especially for movie nights. You grabbed 3 glasses and returned to the girls that were already opening the bed. You passed each of them a glass and took a sit on the head of the bed.

         "So now what?" Yuna asked as she took her first bite of her pizza.

         "I tried searching for Kim Seungmin on insta, on facebook, on everything! But I came up empty...I will try some more and if I can't find him...I will just do whatever I can on my own." Yuna's hand rubbed soothing circles on your back. You looked up only to find their concerned gazes focused on you.  "Hey don't look at me like that! Come on! Let's forget about it and eat! On which episode we paused last?"

         "The 12th! Finally! I was waiting the whole week for this!" Yuna cheered "Do you know that, they will make a second season?"

         "As they should. Alchemy of souls is a masterpiece! I would watch 10 more seasons!" 

         As the tittle song rolled in, all of you fell quiet and let the amazing drama pull you in.

    "Y/N!!!"

  A piercing scream in the form of your name echoed inside the coffee shop. Some customers were startled, some were plain staring at the hurricane,that was Yuqi. 

       You shushed her warningly and turned with a very fake smile to the customer in front of you. The guy gave you an understanding look, took his coffee and left you with the loud girl. 

     "You'll never guess! You owe me! You owe me!" She was literally rocking on her heels, her hands clasped together and looking at you adorably excited. "So about the thing with your third Kim. I asked Lucas, who asked Yuta, who knew that Ten and Minho are friends, that Minho is friends with Seungmin. But guess who Minho and Seungmin are friends with?!" She finished without a breath and left you staring at her. 

       You blinked twice. "You should have become a rapper, not a linguist" you amazed. "And also... what?"

        "Girl! Focus! Kim Seungmin! The target! We know who he is!" She exclaimed, her excitement peaking again. "Kim Seungmin. Second year like us. Science department, dental care. Tall, brunette, glasses. He doesn't really have a large friend group. He is close with Minho, who I mentioned earlier and guess who else?!"

        "Who?" you asked, looking at her rather dumply. 

        Not caring about you not catching up, she exclaimed a name you didn't expect. "Han Jisung!" 

        That startled you out of your shock. "My Jisung?" You questioned, pointing at the culprit who was cheerily cleaning up the station. The only response you received was a fierce nod from her. Luck was smiling at you again. So you took casual but calculated steps towards the boy, who had his back turned to you. 

         "Jisung! My man! How are you?" you squealed as you placed your hands around him, successfully capturing him. He turned around with a smile, not having a better sense to start running away. 

         "When we last talked..you know 7 minutes ago..I was well."he laughed as he wiped his hands on the only dry towel we kept in our station. 

           "I have heard you are friends with Lee Minho and Kim Seungmin.."you started, not really knowing how to tell him but a voice stopped you on your tracks.

           "What would you like to know about me?" A smug voice asked from the counter. You turned and saw a new presence next to an awkward Yuqi. The new arrival was a little taller than Yuqi, brown locks,almost honey colored, were framing his slim face. His eyes were up turned, feline like and they were watching your every move with intelligent and playfulness. Like a true cat. His lips were slightly up turned as well, giving you the impression that he was silently laughing at you. 

      "Who are you?" you asked as you approached the cashier where he was standing, not knowing better yourself. 

       Eyebrows raised and smug smile intact. "I am Lee Minho. I heard you talking about me." he returned as he tapped his fingers against the counter. 

        "Oh!" you said, finally understanding. "Actually I was interested in your friend-" 

        "Seungmin!"

        "Seungmin!"

   Two voices cut the air, equally shocked. You looked both at the stranger by the cashier and your coworker in wonder. Their smiles threaten to break off their faces, eyes widened with pleasant surprise. Oh! They misunderstood you. "No! No! It's not what you are thinking! I actually am searching for a tutor and I was told he was on top of the academic list. But I can't find him anywhere" 

       "Ahh.." 

       "Ahh.." 

    In union they let out an equally disappointed sign, making you let out an amused huff. 

       "It's a shame tho...I think you would suit each other.."murmured Jisung, tousling his hair gently. 

        "You could give him a run for his money. From what Jisung told me about you." Minho pleasantly hummed.

         You turned to face your friend, eyes squinted and face accusing. He immediately raised his hands and denied any guilt. The rest of your company let out laughs at the comical scene. 

          "But jokes aside. Our Seungminnie is a little... emotionally constipated. Yeah, let's say that." Minho explained as he scanned the menu now. Yuqi was silent by his side, eyeing between you and him. "Other than that, he is an lovable idiot"

        He eventually ordered to Jisung, who started making the drink right away. "What do you mean by that?"you asked. 

        "Well he is rather reserved and he is the no bullshit type of guy. He will not be likely to accept tutoring you." 

        Wonderful. That was exactly what you didn't want to hear.

        Well you hoped you could have to change that. 

    You turned to him, with a hint of a smile and asked him.

      "Can you tell me where I can find him?"

      After your short talk with Minho and Jisung, you stalked Kim Seungmin. 

      You and Yuqi were the main agents, that were running all over the place. The first time you caught a glimpse of him with Minho and Jisung at the courtyard, chilling leisurely. In contrast to what Minho told you, he seemed lovely, cute smile and animated talking from what you saw. You spotted him going to class, thankfully your hours matched, so you had an eye on him. You even saw him at the coffee shop a time or two, though he never stayed. 

     From what you gathered he was a reserved guy, just as Minho said. He didn't really talk to many people, he made a funny comment or two, but then he was out of sight. You currently were on the cafeteria, with Yuna and Ryunjin by your side, watching him from afar. He was sitting with a black haired boy you didn't know, he looked quite young though (probably younger than you two)  and was constantly glancing somewhere. You tried to follow his gaze, but you couldn't pint point where it landed every time. Something in your gut told you to pay attention though, as if this could be the solution to your problems. 

And you always trusted your gut.

       So the gazes continued. He was watching someone and you were watching him. Just as you were growing tired of this and was beginning to quit your whole detective game, his gaze shifted. The person he was watching was moving towards the exit. So you snapped your gaze at the door and there they stood, in all their glory against the sunlight that burst through the glass walls. As fair as the snow white herself. You turned your gaze towards Seungmin again, watching him ogle Lee Soojin, like an idiot in love and a smile made itself known in your face. 

      You had a plan.

    After careful examination, or detective work as Yuqi had affectionate calling it, you finally had confirmed your hatch. 

    A little more stalking was required, but along with the help you received from your girls, it was easy as a piece of cake. 

    A little comments here and there in an attempt to make Jisung spill some beans, which worked wonderfully and left him in a stupor (you made yourself a mental note not to trust him with anything personal again), and your plan was set.

    It was a little bit of a stretch, to think that he would agree to help you just so he can get a girlfriend, but you had no options left. Math was kicking your ass again and alone you were struggling, it was like you were drowning and you were trying to paddle your way through.

    You just needed a lifeline that would get you through. Just for the upcoming exams. So determinately you lifted your chin and made your way to the library.      

         You hadn't made it a habit to visit the library. You hadn't had the time either. 

You stood outside for a beat, gathering your wits. The building was tall and imposing, making you even more hesitant to go in. But you had to brave it, you had to fake it till you make it.

   You took one big breath and entered. The three floor building seemed even bigger on the inside. Old wood, that was a miracle that still held, was everywhere and the smell of old books surrounded the place. Your eyes ranked over the multiple desks, that held many students. No, not him. Him neither. No. And here he was. Your eyes found him.

    He was there, just like Minho said he would. He was taller than you expected. And more handsome. Soft brown locks that were cut into a neat haircut fell just above his eyes. Glasses stood high on his straight nose, hiding the exact color of his eyes due to the light hitting on them, but if your own eyes didn't deceive you you would swear that they were a dark brown, maybe even onyx like. He wore a serious expression, his mouth pressed into a thin line. The oversized white tee he wore, along with the black cargo pants didn't do wonders on his figure but he sure looked comfy in them. He also looked very concentrated and you felt bad to break it off, but not bad enough not to do it. 

       You criss crossed between the tables and unsuspecting students and plopped down on the opposite seat. He briefly looked up from his laptop, but upon seeing your unfamiliar face, he soon returned his gaze at the screen in front of him. 

      "Hi, you're Kim Seungmin, right?" You slowly asked, testing the waters. When the words left your mouth, he slowly looked up and met my gaze. He seemed unsure of what my deal was and not really keen on finding out. 

     "Yes, that would be me" he said, not offering any other information or asking for your own name, for that fact. His face stayed the same as when he was reading. 

     Great.. from what it seems, this was the default.

     "Since you didn't ask. Hi, my name is Y/N and I am here to propose a deal to you." You said, bringing your hands on the table and waving them together. He didn't say anything just made himself more comfortable on the chair and his figure slouching . 

      "I am on the verge of failing my math class and I need help. Your help to be exact." He crossed his arms and leaned back further. No emotion yet on his face, a subtle raise of his eyebrow was the only answer you got, something similar to a disbelieving scoff leaving him, he seemed like he was mocking you. But you didn't know if you were imagining things, just to fill that void in his facade. Maybe if you stroked his ego? "They said to come to you and that you were one of the top three students of the school" you said putting your chin on top of hands, smile still intact. Be pleasant and nice was your only option. Smile and waved boys, just smile and wave.

        He leaned forward, mimicking your posture. His hands were long and elegant you noticed, like that of a piano player. "Thank you for the.. preference. But I will have to decline" he said with a grimace that some would call a smile. You knew better.

       "But you didn't let me finish. It has come to my knowledge that you like Lee Soojin" you said, a smile making it's way on your face.             Finally, a spark of emotion! His  eyes momentarily widened and his mouth fell slightly open before he straightened his expression, he immediately turned his head right and left and he leaned closer to you, glaring intensely. You grinned even wider at the action, a crack in his armor was all you needed.

     He continued glaring at you for a moment, clearly contemplating if killing you was the safest option, but eventually he fell back against his chair, not speaking a word.

     "I can help you get together with her. I saw you watching her from a far. I happened to know her, she is a regular to the cafe I work at" you begun before he could open his mouth.

          His face didn't change much, now annoyance was a little more prominent, but the emptiness still ruled over his face.  "Unfortunately, I will not be helping you as I have my own issues and I believe the second statement is none of your business. I wish I could say that it was a pleasure meeting you but I avoid lying. Have a good day" he said, utterly dismissing you. He turned back to his laptop, leisurely fixing his glasses, not giving you an other lick of attention.

 Well that went exactly as they warned you. When Minho said emotionally constipated, you didn't think they really meant it. Even though you wanted to grab him by his shoulders and shake him, you couldn't force him to accept. You had played your cards and lost. As you would probably lose your scholarship..

            You looked at him for a moment, then collected your stuff from the chair you had pushed them into and stood "If you change your mind, you will find me at the coffee shop by the uni. You know the one Soojin goes. Have a good day "you said, almost giggling to the look he threw you, at the mention of the girl's name. You gave him a salute and turned walking away so you can cry away your day in peace.

       Despite you thinking that the promise of a girlfriend would be enough, mister Kim Seungmin proved you wrong and didn't agree to your offer. So you were left struggling alone just shy of October. To your surprise and utter delight of Mr. Marlow, you were decent enough in physics now. Your physic proff was moved by your struggle and impressed by your newfound knowledge so she agreed to give you a couple of projects, in order to make up for the lost grades. It was a real pain in the ass to balance your university life, along with work and the extra hours of studying that you put in to catch up, but at least you were afloat..for now. 

      And despite of denying your deal you saw more and more of Kim Seungmin. First it was at the cafeteria, him gazing discreetly at her and you gazing at them. Once or twice, your eyes would meet and you would raise your eyebrow at him, secretly judging. He would answer with a fiery look and squinting eyes back at you.

  You would meet him at campus were he would simply hangout with his friends. You had repeatedly greeted them, asking the usual 'how are you' and 'are you good', both Jisung and Minho had answered you (your coworker bubbly as ever and Minho albeit with less enthusiasm but not unfriendly), but Seungmin just stared you emptily. You swore he only had two emotions, emptiness and aggression. If he had more.. well you had yet to see them. 

     The third place he frequent went in was no other than your workplace. He collected the info you gave him, the sneaky bastard, and used it without you reaping the benefits. He showed up just a week after your meet up. As Minho's friend he had visited the place before and sure, he could have grabbed a casual pick-me-up, but he had never sat down on the cafe. One day though, he rolled up in a casual sky blue hoodie and a pair of jeans with his own trusted bad on his shoulders. A cute pair of glasses decorated his face and his hair, even messy, had a certain charm.

    Such a waste of good looks, you thought. His face upon seeing you behind the bar was comical to say the least. He was pretty neutral before entering, a calming aura around him but when he saw you, his lips pressed together in a grimace and a cold demeanor met you. You had smiled though and took his order, mentally scoffing. A black Americano. How unoriginal. 

     He had came up empty that day, as Soojin hadn't shown up. His next try was successful, not only he had manage to nail the time the girl came ,but also managed to secure a spot near her table. His subtle heart eyes made you want to puke. 

     His third time though was your favourite. Soojin was by her usual corner, but she was not alone this time. Eric was by her side in all his blonde glory, making the girl giggle and blush so hard. Of course Mr Kim Seungmin was shooting lazer from his eyes, face empty and eyes filled with the promise of murder. It was a delightful thing.

        Two weeks flew by and your panicked began to rise. A typical Wednesday and you were staring blankly at the entrance, wondering if a future as a barista was the only option left for you. Your train of thought was rudely interrupted by a tall figure getting all up in your face. A tall brown haired menace.

   As the days flew by your polite smiles turned into sarcasm filled giggles and a pressing desire to annoy the fuck out of his majesty, the genius. So you looked up to meet his eyes, met with the usual picture of him frowning down at you. 

       "Can I help you?" You asked monotone, already moving away to prepare his order. He never tried anything else besides his bland americano. 

        He didn't move, only looked at you decisively. He leaned over the counter as much as he could "I don't want coffee. I want to talk to you" You stared at him. Did you want to be rude and deny? He deserved it, but that would require your downfall so you swallowed your pride and nodded.

       You quickly told  Shushua you would be a minute and leaded Seungmin into a quiet corner of the shop. You sat down and the staring match began. 

     You knew this, this was a war of nerves. As a business major you knew he wanted the deal you presented, but he was stubborn enough not to begin the discussion. " You thought about my proposal?" You probed gently.

      After a brief hesitation he nodded and finally spoke. "I would be willing to help you" he stated simply. He was truly a man of few words. You hoped that didn't seep through to his teaching. 

       "Wonderful!" You cheered, clapping once in satisfaction and leaning back to your plush chair. " When can you start? I am in immediate need of attention" you joked, just to see him squirm. He didn't disappoint as he lightly shifted his weight on the comfortable couch he sat. 

        "I don't work.. so we can follow your program" he stated dismissively. "Where do you lack?" He seemed more comfortable focusing his attention on your academic problem, than his unrequited crush. Cute, you thought.

       "Math is my main problem. I fixed my physics grade enough to pass through this semester. Maybe a lesson or two in exam season, if you are kind enough." You listed, resting your head in your hand. You should sound dismissive and aloof and play your cards right this time. 

      "Okay we can work on that.." he trailed off, not knowing how to get on with the conversation.

       "You should open an Instagram page" you suddenly said. He needed the exposure you had decided. He had the looks, he was smart and if we worked on his manners.. he could get Soojin.

        He scoffed, right back at his usual self. "And why would I do that?" He asked, now that you knew him a little, his voice filled with disbelief and irony.

       "So you can show off your good looks to Soojin obviously. From my point of you this is the only thing you have going on" you stated, smirking. His relaxed, albeit a little uncomfortable, pose tensed. "It's adorable how tense you get when I mention her" you teased, lips curling a little, not able to resist. You had to ask. "What made you change your mind?"

    "I thought about it. That's it"  You looked at him. His jaw was clenched, his posture still tense and he was looking you straight in the eyes, almost as if he was daring you to say it.

   "Are you sure? Are you sure that someone didn't help in changing your mind? Like someone trying to get your girl. Someone named...Eric?" you waved your fingers together and placed your chin lightly on them. From the way his body tensed even more, his mouth was pressed into a thin line, fully concealing his full lips and the lightly squinting of his eyes, you hit bulls eye. 

      "Well.. appearance wise, I don't have a lot to fix. Personality wise though..we could do so much better." You innocently smile. "Anyway she is on social a lot, she often comes to take photos here, she even followed me. The first step we have to make is her acknowledging you. So genius boy... When are you free?" 

     His way of teaching is as insufferable as he is you soon learned.

     You had agreed to meet at the library. The tall building served as an excellent place as he wasn't keen on visiting your house. It was fine by you, you weren't thrilled about having him in your apartment as well.

       The first thing he did was a through  exploration of your knowledge. And then, the torture began. Equations, problems, types... And a good chunk of it, you failed to get.

     "You must be kidding! Even the professor doesn't give us that much homework!" You dramatically yelled, earning a few looks from the people around you and a glare from your companion.

     "If you want to improve, this is the appropriate amount. It's truly remarkable how much you don't understand" he noted as he started gathering his books, placing them neatly in a navy blue backpack. You were amazed at capability of his backpack. You could probably fit yourself in there, if you tried.

     "I am a marketing major! I don't need to know these things!" You cried out, more quietly this time, no less dramatic though, desperation coloring your voice. 

      "You are in marketing?" He asked, taken aback. You were crossing the entrance of the library and stood there for a moment. Should you be offended by his surprise?

      "Yeah, why the surprise? What you thought I would be?" You rocked on your heel, craning your neck to look at him. 

       "Something more dramatic. Performing arts, perhaps" he replied. Well... you could give him that. You could be a total drama queen when you wanted.

       "I will inform you, that I am excellent at what I do. Point proven by the fact you are here. I advertised my deal in an appealing way, you weighted your options and you took mine." You said, trying to bite back the smile you could feel surfacing. He grimaced at your wording, not being able to deny the truth.

        "Whatever." He said as he began to walk to a direction that you had not in mind. So you reached for his precious backpack and pulled him towards you. He lightly stumbled, but regained his footing quickly and turned to you, eyebrows raised and mouth pulled tight together. "What?"

        You smiled up at him. "I thought our deal should be fair. After our lessons, it will be your turn. So today we are going to the cafe!" You pulled once again, at his sleeve this time and much to your surprise he followed you without complains.

     You let him go and walked backwards so you can face him "Soojin visits the cafe regularly. But Fridays are a must for her. Her lecture is done at two, so she eats at the cafeteria and she usually comes around 3ish"

      "You know too much for someone who is simply her barista" he noted, eyes fleeting at the road behind you and refocusing on your face. You shrugged nonchalantly.

      "You would be surprised at what I know " you dismissed. You turned to walk normally and adjusted your brown messenger bag on your shoulder. You should try using a backpack as well, you adored the bag but the weight was starting to hurt your shoulder, especially with the weight of the extra books. "After going to the cafe, we are going to have a photoshoot!"    

He looked at me from the side like I had grown a second head and shook his head."No"        

         "Yep"        

         "No"      

         "Yep!"   

         "No!" He raised his voice for once matching your tone, but quickly he cleared his throat and said "I am not doing it"     You threw a smile over your shoulder and opened the door to the cafe you had reached. People littered a few tables, here and there, but a calmness ruled over, a calmness that your loud coworker disturbed with over hyper 

tunes.

 His bright red hair served just as an additional distraction from the comfy atmosphere as it caught the light from the way he moved all over the place from behind the bar. You smiled and you made your way to him. You didn't turn to check, but you felt Seungmin following silently behind you.

     "Wooyoung!" You exclaimed, successfully capturing his attention. You dramatically threw yourself over the counter top and whined for coffee. 

       "Hello to you too!"he giggled and threw a polite smile over your shoulder to the giant behind you "Hello!" He said, receiving a nod from Seungmin and turned back to you "How was your lesson?" He asked as he showed his back to you, starting to make the precious drink you desired.

      "Awful" you and Seungmin answered as one. The 2 hour session clearly weighted down both of you. "And a black americano as well, Woo" you added, reaching into your bag to pull out your wallet. 

        A hand fell on top of yours stopping you and you turned towards the boy, a question in your eyes. He shook his head and answered "You don't have to buy me coffee"

     "You are helping basically for free. A coffee isn't much" you cheered back. Giving your card to a awaiting Wooyoung, he passed it over the machine quickly before giving it back. 

     "Were are you heading now?" He asked as he prompted his head on the counter. 

      "We were thinking about taking a walk in the park near by. You know... the one with the garden" you absentmindedly returned as you scanned the place, not telling him that it was in fact Seungmin that informed you about its existence, mere minutes before. 

     And score. At the far away corner sat a certain snow white. Target required "Woo ,I will talk to you later. We are still on for Sunday right?" You threw, getting a response you didn't pay any attention to and strode towards your prey. A tug on your arm halted you, a grim Seungmin shaking his head greeted you, but you promptly ignored his whines and mouthed a 'come on'. You reached the table rather quickly and called "Soojin! What is my favorite customer doing?!" 

       The brunette turned with a smile on her face "Favorite customer huh? You say that to everyone" she teased you, good natured.

      "Pss no!.. Only on regulars" you commented, giving her a wink, which made her let out a quiet giggle, before her gaze shifted behind me.. bingo. You also threw a look to the boy that stood behind you, almost as if he was hiding behind his mom. "That's my new tutor, Kim Seungmin. He really saved me. This is Lee Soojin, she comes by often so I guess you will be seeing each other" you finished, turning your body sideways so more of Seungmin could be shown. No that you could hide him, you snorted. 

        "Nice to meet you" she showed a bright welcoming smile at him, that quite literally made him shake. You couldn't blame him through, if you had been in his shoes, you would have fell on your knees too. 

        "You too" he quietly said, looking at the table and avoiding eye contact at all means. You looked at him, trying to control your laughter.

       "Well.. we have to get going! But I will see you around "you waved, throwing a smile at the rest of her group and tugged your tutor along with you.

   You waited until you two were no longer visible throughout the windows and turned to him, hands behind your back and your foot awkwardly scratching the ground and said in a manly voice that in no way resembles the one you mocked. "Y-You t-too" you mumbled, looking at him from underneath your lashes.        His face was comical. His jaw was clenched hard and his ears were an adorable shade of red. "Shut up" he said, looking everywhere else but you. 

       "Come on! Let's get you your photos, doc"

      The Instagram business went well. The  park was a lovely place to get the photos you needed, even with your uncooperative model. His friends cheered and howled, welcoming him to the civilized world. Two days later, your first story starring him at the library (unknown to him) with the caption: 'study session with @kim_seungmin' had  earned him a follow from The Lee Soojin.               Instagram has became your main form of communication as well, it started with you sending memes that reminded you of him, mainly Squidward memes, and proceed with him spamming you with math questions. A look in your notifications was truly a nightmare now. You learned that the boy was more on the grumpy side, but had always had good intentions. Minho had let it slip that, he had an alarm on his phone especially to remind him to send you your insta-homework. You also discovered that he also shared a great love for kdramas, similar to your own. Contrary to the first meeting where he uttered only a couple of words, he spoke more comfortably now, not less savage but you could usually find him in a conversationable mood. Your quick tongue and his unbothered nature made you a interesting duo. And a duo that always had a target. Most often than not, poor Jisung had the short stick on this deal. 

         October was nearly over and you were excelling. Seungmin, on the other side, was not making so much progress with Soojin. Sure.. now he was talking a little bit with her in the coffee shop, when their tables were near.      And sure, they were exchanging likes on insta, but was that enough? On top of that, Eric was still regularly hanging around Soojin and that was making you uneasy. What if Seungmin decided to call the deal off, if they got together? What would happen to you then?

      That evening, you were meeting up with the girls so you reluctantly you picked yourself up and headed to your bathroom to get ready. Your dim lighting complimented your tired face. Or rather it didn't. It was a few weeks of that feverish schedule and you were begging to tire, but you shook yourself. 

   Put on some concealer and your best jeans, you said to yourself and soon enough you were braving the cold, in order to get some alcohol in you. 

          As soon as you entered the local bar, you took a look around you. Almost all of the booths were full, the jocks that were by the pool tables were howling loudly and the bar was half full of people trying to get their poisons. From the corner of your eye, you saw a sudden movement. Yuqi was waving at you, as Ryunjin and Yuna were giggling over who knows what number cocktails of the night. You broke out a smile and made your way over to them, avoiding busy waiters and drunk bodies. You took a seat in the enormous red couch by Yuqi and greeted the others. 

         "Won't Lisa and Rosie be joining us?" You asked, as you took a hold of the menu, already knowing you would order your usual Daquiri, but scanning it nonetheless. 

       "Nah, Lisa is doing two solos at the school festival and is freaking out. Rosie..is mental support, I guess" Ryunjin informed you as she sipped on her drink. You nodded and took a look around the bar. 

     Your waiter was nowhere on sight. But you understood, if you worked at a place like this you wouldn't be able to keep up with everyone either. But you did catch a quick glimpse of a particular sassy brunette on the dance floor. Minho did know how to have fun, that was certain by the smiles of his companions and the way they seemed to want to get closer to him. You wondered if your grumpy tutor lurked somewhere near. But a quick look at the place revealed a happy Jisung with two anonymous blondes by his side. You made a mental note to stop by and greet them later. 

        "What are we looking at?" A voice whispered, rather loudly, in your ear. You turned to Yuqi, grimacing, but answering all the same.

        "I spotted Minho on the dance floor and I was wondering if Seungmin was here" you truthfully replied. 

         She craned her neck to catch a glimpse of Minho as well. She looked at him way more than the respectable time, so you leaned in and tapped at her chin, a knowing look on your face. She chuckled but didn't deny anything. "You know for someone who you described as emotionally constipated, you get rather along with him" 

      You shrugged. "He was a little...shy in the beginning. All glares and moody. Now he is just... fun to tease" you huffed as you remembered him speaking so fast, almost rapping, when you told him that you hadn't completed a couple of exercises or him going red on the face from frustration when you couldn't understand a solution. "My biggest problem now is that he can't talk to Soojin!" Your deal was a known fact among your friends, that you have swore to secrecy. "He is cute, he is smart, once you get over the first shock he is pleasant to be around! Why he can't score a date with her?!" You wailed, dramatically flopping on the table. 

      "You should keep him to yourself, if he is that great" Yuna proposed, laughing as soon as you gave her the stink eye.

      "Why don't you tell him to come to the festival? Soojin is performing. He can come by the backstage, compliment her a little. Oh! Oh! Maybe ask her to go to a little walk around the festival!!" Ryunjin clapped, excited about her idea. 

       It wasn't so bad. Rather it was a rather good idea.

       "My sweet sweet genius!" You proclaimed, throwing your hands up in the air. "That's it!"

      As if the universe agreed and decided to reward you, your waiter appeared. So with a drink in your near future and a good plan to match, you enjoyed the rest of your evening. 

   "I am just saying, that you could be a lot more productive if instead of going out, you studied" He said, as he slid your red highlighted notebook back to you. 

     "You say that as if I am out everyday! I went out a Friday night to have a drink! Kill me!" You sassed as he signed and turned to his own workload.

     A moment passed and then two.

    You looked over at him under your lashes, biting your lips. Now it was just as good as any time you guessed. "Seungmin" you whispered. 

      Upon hearing the quiet call of his name he turned his head towards you. "You solved it?" He leaned closer only to see the math problem in front of you half solved and you looking at him. "Come on. We have done this. I am not helping you. Think again and solve it" he said almost soullessly, returning to his own homework. 

        "No no. I wanted to ask you something" you said, fumbling with your pen. "You.. haven't made so much progress with..you know who" you grimaced, remembering how many times you have uttered her name and Seungmin have immediately shut you up by placing his hand hastily over your mouth. Voldemort had she became.

      He let out a quiet sign, resting his head on the table. "Yeah..I mean we talk a little but.."

        "But not enough" you completed his sentence "Can I ..propose something?Why don't you try getting her a coffee and sit there with her?" You whispered, reaching your hand to play absentmindedly with your notebook. 

         "Yeah, I could do that" he mumbled as he straighten himself up, leaning onto his chair instead.  

         "I have an other proposal." You said, adopting his previous position and leaning onto the table. 

         "You scare me" he replied drily, with a hint of smile playing on the corner of his lips. 

         "Why? I am spectacularly amazing and I have at least 70% ratio of success" he snorted at that but didn't comment further "As you know ..SHE is a dance major. Why don't we go to see her performance? You say a few nice things to her, give her a smile, you know, tell her a 'I will see you around' Maybe offer a walk around the festival? We have to get her to notice you" 

         He looked everywhere but me, such simple conversations still managing to embarrass him. "That would be..nice" 

          "Perfect! I have already gotten you a ticket!" you cheered, collecting a few looks by the surrounding students. That's why you detested the library, quiet wasn't your forte. 

          At the sound of that he stilled and turned to look at you. "You won't come with me?" He looked like a deer caught in your car's headlights. You compared his current look with the void ironic silent that greeted you the first time.

          "I mean...I am coming. I have tickets to see Ryunjin and Yuna perform. I didn't know if you would like to stick with us" 

          "Yes, please" he replied instantly, probably imagining himself alone in the large crowd and recoiling. 

          "Sure. Wear something nice though! No hoodie! And for the love of God, no sweatpants!" You cried out, well aware of his usually fashion choices. He always looked comfy though, you like his style but he had to dress to impress for the festival.

           He stayed quiet in reaction to your request, mumbling under his breath 'what's wrong with my sweatpants' and 'wouldn't do that' but the rest of the session rolled smoothly without interruptions and talking about Voldemorts. 

        You were running as much as your heeled legs could muster. Of course you were late..but it wasn't your fault! If only those damn customers didn't come in last minute, maybe you would have time to go shower and get ready like a normal person.  

      Your phone vibrated in your hand, no wonder the others were searching for you. You answered the call not looking at the name on your screen. "I am coming!" You panted. 

      "I am waiting by the front entrance" a deep voice answered, taking you by surprise.

      "Seungmin?" You called, unsure. 

      "Yeah. Now come on" he said and hung up.

      You gathered your strength and ran the remaining distance. As you reached the entrance you looked around, you tried to locate him. You found him by the door, a lean body waiting for you. He had heard your advice. Black slacks, a simple white T-shirt underneath and a grey coat adored his frame. He looked put together and a perfect image of a boyfriend. You jogged lightly towards him. "Hey! You look nice. 100% boyfriend material" you complimented. 

       He shyly smiled at you and cocked his head inside. "Come Yuqi saved us seats. What took you so long?" He questioned as he turned to walk to the theater.

        "Some customers came last minute and I couldn't leave. I never have gotten ready that quickly" you laughed, avoiding bodies that were threatening to crush you. He took your forearm and guided you to your seats. 

        "It's okay." he comforted you. 

        You looked up amused and surprised. "I never thought that the Kim Seungmin would tell me it's okay to be late" you teased. 

        He huffed and lead you to the seats, where Yuqi and Jisung awaited you while discussing the music he had produced for one of the acts. You waved at them and settled on your seat, readying yourself for the spectacle. And you were just on time. You were amazed by the elegant lines of the dancers and the sharp moves, that were enhanced by the booming sound of the bass. The couples, that were twirling on stage, stole your breath and the solo performances were equally enchanting. 

        "Aren't they so cool?" You whispered to Seungmin, feeling bad that he was singled out. You were sitting between him and his friends so he stayed mostly quiet, except when he replied to your humorous comments. 

        "Yeah, I couldn't do that in a million years" he agreed, still captivated by the performance. All too soon the performances were over and the curtains fell. 

        You stretched, pulling yourself out of the uncomfortable seat and nodding to Seungmin "Come on! Let's go and give our congratulations to the 'chef'" you joked as you pulled him up.  "Yuqi we will catch up with you outside,ok?" She nodded her consent and dragged Jisung away, possibly to get some food. So you turned to your own companion who waited you patiently..not that he had an other choice as he didn't know the backstage as you did. "Come on lover boy, let's go to your ballerina"

        He grimaced but complied, following you into the dark backstage. You turned and turned until you catch a glimpse of Soojin. Then you promptly stopped and turned to him, fixing his clothes and fussing over him. He tried to avoid your touch but seeing you not giving up, he simply gave up. You fixed his hair as well, passing a hand threw them and perfecting each straw so they framed his face beautifully. "Okay. You got this" you said pushing him lightly to the door. 

        "Wait! You are not coming?!" he said, panic filling his eyes as a hand raised to clutch your wrist.

        "No! You go and tell her she's beautiful and if she wants to hang out after the show" 

        He opened his mouth to argue, but you pushed with more force and he stumbled into the room. The noise all around the place didn't exactly help you to listen in on their conversation, so a few minutes passed and you didn't know if that was a good sign or a bad one. But the door suddenly opened and Seungmin crossed the border throwing a careless 'I will see you around' over his shoulder. After the door closed though, he clutched his heart and let out a troubled sign. Immediately you were on his face.

        "How did it go? What did you say to her? She didn't want to come to the walk?" You buzzed, shifting your weight, almost circling around him.

         "Can you calm down for a moment?" He said, tugging at his collar "She said thank you and that she appreciates that I came. She said that she has plans but she will see me around in the coffee shop." 

         "Such a shame.I expected her to go with you." you pouted, disappointed. You had to fix him up in order to continue with this deal. You casted a glance towards him, to find him watching the space across you. You followed his gaze and located a blonde figure lounging there. Eric, who probably came to give his own congratulations. 

         "Maybe I can get her a cup of coffee when I see her again?" He quietly mumbled, gaze not straying from Eric's figure. 

         "Yeah" you agreed, eyes stuck in that direction too. But quickly you shook yourself out of your stupor. "Since you are free how about a stroll around the festival? I wanna go to the waffle station. I heard they are to die for" you whistled, already imagining the sweet chocolate melting in your mouth.

         He looked down on the floor for a beat, until you nudged him playfully. He met your stare but the discouraged look didn't leave him. 

         "You don't have to look down. You played your cards and lost. It's okay. There will be other opportunities. Now come with me" you took a hold of his jacket, gently moving him towards the exit. 

       He didn't say anything but moved along. 

       Once outside you were contemplating where to go. The food stands where a must and you voice that.

        "Okay. Plan." You said, turning to your companion who seemed equally as lost as you. "I wanna stop by the food stands. I heard this year they have a theme about foods around the world. Other than that I have no clue what is there" 

        "Umm okay. We can stop by. Not something spicy though. I can't really eat it" he said, not really here. He looked dazed at the festival. 

        You looked up at him, squinting. "Where do you wanna go?" 

        He still looked lost. Maybe he had been more hurt than you thought. Well you could distract.

        "Seungminnie!" you whined, hoping to distract him. And it worked by the distasteful scoff that took over his face. 

        "Don't call me that" he puffed and strode to whichever direction his feet took him. Hopefully for you, to the food section. 

        "Why?" Giggling, you took a look around. You were currently to the craft section. You marveled at the things that the student body managed to put together "But seriously what do you like to do? I never heard you mentioning hobbies" 

        "I like to take pictures. I took some nice shots at the park" he said, quietly.

        "Ohh that's how you knew about the park! Show me later some. That's really cool" you returned. "And? What else?" you questioned. 

        "I like baseball" he answered simply.

        "Oh! Oh! Which team?" You asked as your attention was snatched from a very nice pair of earrings to him. 

        "SK Wyverns" he replied, hesitantly. "You like baseball?" Suddenly focusing on you, you knew it was rare for women to like sports but you didn't know if you feel offended by his surprise.

        "Nahh my old man watches it so I know a couple of teams. He isn't a fan of that one though" you commented.

        "Which one he likes?"he asked, intrigued. 

        "Something heroes" you said, tapping your chin. You couldn't remember their name for the life of you!

        "Kiwoom Heroes! Over the Wyverns! Really now?!" He exclaimed, eyes wide and bewildered at your father's preferences. The scrunching of his nose betrayed his true dislike towards the team.

       "Hey don't tell it to me! Tell him that!" You joked as the sparkly earrings stole your attention again. The blue sparkling light caught your attention, the gold only enhancing their beauty. You shook your head. You weren't here to buy jewelry. You were here to eat. 

       "What do you like to do?" He asked as he took in his surroundings too. He looked more relaxed now, hands crossed at the back, head moving wherever to take in all of the stations. 

        "I don't have really the time to spare. If I do.. I guess a movie or some drinks with friends." You never really were into something particular. A simple time could be a good time too. 

         "Yeah I noticed. How come you are always working? Don't you want some time of?" He asked, examinating you more now.

         "Yeah it would be. But I need the money. And besides I stir up enough trouble when I don't have time in my hands. Could you imagine me with time to spare?" You raised your eyebrows at an alarming pace to empathize the fact. He scoffed, clearly amused.

       "God no. I wouldn't like to see that!" He laughed behind his hand. 

       "Exactl-" you started but an aroma stole your attention. A chocolatey rich aroma, that came from the stand ahead. "Seungmin, the sweets!" You exclaimed and thrusted forward, literally dragging him along. 

         "On the other hand.. with your limited attention span how bad could it be?" He sassed, but turned towards the chocolatey dough. "We will take two" he said to the boy in the cashier. 

         You reached in your bag to take out your purse, but you noticed Seungmin taking out double the amount that was required and give it to the cashier. "Hey! What are you doing? I can pay for mine!" you pouted. 

         "Too late!"he replied, having already paid and grabbed the sweets. You took your own while he took a bite from the dough. His eyes widened comically and he pointed at it with his mouth full. You laughed, but your reaction was very much the same as his when you took your first bite. 

        "I will pay for the next round" you said as you started your rounds again. This time heading towards the games. 

         "Sounds good" he said, the desert on his hands half way eaten. Men you thought, they could eat anything within seconds. 

         You wondered around for a bit. You tried the trivia game they hosted, you were tremendously bad at it while Seungmin tremendously good. You tried the maze they made up by cardboards and some other poorly made materials, but you both had a good sense of direction and got out pretty easily. One look at the karaoke stand had you both running for the hills and you ended up in front of an other food stand. But to the bad luck of Seungmin, the spices didn't sit right with him so here he was gulping water as if his life was depending on him.

       As you waited for him to calm his taste buds down, you were looking around. You spotted something in the far corner, a enormous cube, painted pink but the color was peeling away revealing the grey mass underneath. But none the less you jumped and shook Seungmin, pointing aggressively at the photo booth. "Let's go take some pictures" 

       "Now?!" he coughed, still red in the face. "I am dying!" 

       You looked at him and dead serious you replied "Well..die later" 

       He looked at you perplexed, but once again he let himself be dragged by you. So you got in first and patted the space by your side, which he dutiful filled. You chose a simple frame and a playful one, that one  he frowned upon. But you ignored him and passed an arm around him, squishing yourself into his arms in order to get into the frame. You feel him stiffen momentarily so you quickly looked up. You were a little too close for comfort, you could almost count his eyelashes. He looked.. pretty from this close. His eyes big, looking down at you slightly more wide than normal. His skin was so smooth it seemed like marble. 

       "Sorry" You said, as you shifted away, giving him more space to breathe.

       "Um..it's okay. Shall we?" he said and faced the poor quality camera again, so you leaned in (not too close) and stroke a ridiculous pose with your eyes crossed and tongue out. You turned as soon as the sound ticked of and saw Seungmin poker faced behind you. 

       "Come onn. Humor me" you teased. So he did. He brought his hand over his face in a cute v pose. You gleefully turned around in a similar pose. For your last click you just smiled at the camera, leaving Seungmin to fend on his own. You soon paid for two copies and left the booth. As you were handing Seungmin his own, you heard your familiar ringtone pierce the air. Your phone, you realized. So you opened your bag, manically searching for it, finding it at the bottom of your bag and breathlessly answered. 

       "Y/N!" A raspy voice boomed through the speaker. 

       "Yuqi" you cheered. 

       "We are at Tony's. Fancy coming?"she shouted into the line so you can hear her above the music and the noise. "Jisung is with me. And we bumped into Minho too. If you are still with Seungmin stop by!"

       "Roger that."you said and you hung up. You turned to your tutor, who was observing whoever was left at the fair.

       "Yuqi is with Jisung and Minho at Tony's. Wanna go?" You asked as you began to descend the stairs, that lead to the front entrance of the school.

       "An unlikely combination." he noted as he strolled right beside you. The descend was supposed to be easy but your heeled boots hurt your feet now and the breeze was getting stronger for your liking, lightly blowing your hair into your face. 

       "What can I say?" you said as you tried to get your locks away from your face. "You wanna come?" 

       He stayed quiet for a while. Gazing at the remaining tents that the students were scruffing to pick up, so they can party the night away. 

       "Yeah. I will come. For a little while" he replied at last, focusing on you. 

       You smiled at him, strangely happy your new friend decided to join you. So you made your way to the bar.

 With Seungmin by your side.

And your heart beating abnormally loud in your chest.

     It was a slow day in the cafe.

     Wooyoung and you were absent-mindedly cleaning, while talking about your weekend plans. The flow of people was steady, close to none at the time, so you tried to get the shop ready for the next shift. You looked over the supplies you had gathered. Cups? Check. Coffee? Check. Lids? Check. What was missing? You thought as you skimmed the shelves. Oh! The straws! 

    "Wooyoung! Do we have any straws over there?" You called, hand wandering inside the low cupboard in order to feel around for any stray sets. 

    He lowered himself to see into the other supply cupboard, with a quick look he confirmed your thoughts. "Nope!" 

     You grumbled under your breath. "Going to grab some from the back!" You called as you headed to the back room, where your supplies were stored.

    It was not a big room, storage shelves decorated every wall and it had no window nor any other form of natural lighting, except from the tiny bare bulb above your head. You switched it on and took a look around, trying to locate the troublesome straws. In the end you found them on the highest shelf of the stock room on the far right corner. 

 Whose brilliant idea was this? 

  No one in the coffee shop could boast about their height so the supplies usually where at a reasonable height for you. Except these darn straws! 

      "For fuck's sake.!" you spat out as you dragged the small ladder behind the door to help you up. You climbed it easily and took hold of the straws. But in your haste to finish your task, you knocked over a box.

        You blew a breath out and climbed back down. You let the packet of straws fall from your grasp and hosted the medium sized box in your arms. You climbed the ladder quickly, the box obscuring your vision. You placed the merchandise in the very edge of the shelf and pushed it with as much strength as you could. But as it seemed you needed to hit the gym sooner than later as your strength was proving not to be enough. You pushed even harder going on you tippy toes to get the box into a safer position and then you heard it. You heard the sound before your eyes caught up.

 The awful sound of the ladder tipping. Suddenly your vision tipped, just as the ladder did and you were falling. You thrashed your hands out in hopes of softening your fall, but it was of no use. You landed on the floor on your side, with an intense pain piercing your left ankle. 

         You sucked your teeth in response to the pain travelling up your leg. Fuck! That was exactly what you didn't need right now. You tried to get up and put some pressure on your leg only to stumble and nearly fall flat on the floor again. 

         Desperate situations required desperate solutions "Wooyoung!" You wailed loud enough for the whole store to hear. And when you didn't get an immediate response you wailed even louder. Till the sound of a pair of feet, running to you, was heard. 

 The door was thrown open and a dramatic I'm gasp cut through the air. "Y/N! What happened? Are you okay?" He fretted as he attempted to lift you up.

 Key word. 

Attempted. 

    As Wooyoung lifted you up, you put pressure on your bad leg almost falling down again. "Ouch!" you hissed out, grinding your teeth in order not to whine out loud. This time more carefully, Wooyoung lifted you and kept you close at his side so he can manage your weight. 

         "What happened?!" He asked incredulously as he moved you to the staff room.

       "I fell from the ladder. I must have twisted my ankle, it fucking hurts when I try to stand" you pouted, looking down at your feet. It didn't look swollen nor bruised. Maybe you had gotten lucky and it was just a strain.

         After a quick visit to the doctor, courtesy of your very fretty boss, he confirmed that you had indeed gotten lucky and that it was a sprain that. Rest was prescripted and you should be fine in three days time. 

    Your boss was overjoyed, that she didn't have to pay you medical leave or worse. She even happily offered you a ride back home as you couldn't quite move easily. You thanked her, truly grateful that you wouldn't have to walk all the way back to your apartment by yourself. 

   Once you were in the apartment you let yourself ungracefully plop down on your bed and sign. This incident would take you back a few days. Days you could spend working.. studying...doing everything else besides sitting on your ass. 

         You heaved a sign of exaggeration and pulled out your phone. You had a lesson with Seungmin today and you would have to cancel. You couldn't go to the library like this and he had made clear that he would not go out of his way to come to your apartment.

 You bit your lips, deciding what to write. A simple and nice message would do. 

 A skull emoji? Really? But given his aloof personality it oddly suited him. You shrugged it off and decided rest and a bowl of warm food would be the best for you. 

    Two episodes in your new series and your telephone was ringing. You felt around your covers for your phone and once your hand come in contact with it, you answered without a second thought. 

       "Hello?"  

       "Hello" A gruff voice greeted. 

    You sat up, suddenly more aware. You weren't expecting a call from him."Seungmin?"

       "Yes, it's me" he confirmed quietly.

       You bit your lips. Have you forgotten to write something on your text? Had you forgotten your homework? "Can I help you?"

       "I heard that you fell today and require rest. Is this the reason you cancelled our lesson today?" He asked, dare you say, concerned. He didn't sound like he was craving a path on his room out of worry but he cared enough to ring you up. It was oddly sweet of him.

       "Yeah.. the doctor suggested rest. Like 3 days top" you said, absentmindedly, but soon paused. "Does this change your programme?" You fretted, hands going through your hair, succeeding only in messing it up further.

        "Not much but.. We can have our lesson tomorrow.. At your house" he quietly proposed.

        He had made sure not to include your home at the possible study places. Maybe it made him uncomfortable..was it out of concern for you? The surprises didn't ceased. After a brief hesitation you asked "Are you sure?"

        "Yeah. It's not like you are bored walking to the library. You are injured. I am not that cruel to make you walk till there" he said in astonishment. 

      You suppose he was not. "I really appreciate it, Seungmin. Thank you"  you whispered.

       A humm was heard from the other line before asking "Same hour tomorrow?" 

        "Yeah. Yeah. Bye" You muttered before hanging up. 

��       Huh. You fully expected him to take advantage of his free day. Instead here he was calling you to ask you if you were okay and arranging tomorrow's date.

 He was nicer than you expected. 

You felt warmer than before.

    The buzzer let you know that Seungmin had arrived.

    With a grunt you stood on your good leg and hopped over to your door to buzz him in. Leaving the door ajar so he could get in, you hopped back to your kitchen table, where you had laid your books.  

    You could hear his steps as he made his way to your apartment, the instructions you had provided guiding him. You heard him pause outside your door, unsure whether to enter or not, based on it's open state. You giggled and called him over "I left it open for you! Come on in!" 

    He stepped over the threshold and inspected your house. Well... house was a bit of a stretch. Your apartment was rather small, but had a homey and cozy feeling to it. The walls were painted a beige that didn't express you, but it was a requirement of your landlord.     

 You had tried to make it better by hanging artwork all over the apartment. Some where of land scapes you enjoyed, some of quotes that you favoured and some of your close friends and family. Your couch, that also served as your bed, was placed against the wall facing your spacious wardrobe and a bookcase that took way too much time to build.

     Your kitchen was small, some of its wooden surface were begging to submit to time, but you used it well. Plenty of fake plants were decorating it, giving it a splash of color that it needed. Once upon a time you tried to decorating with living breathing plants but... your skills proved not to be up for the challenge. 

      Your bathroom completed the wonderful set. A small white thing that consisted the only other door in the apartment, besides the threshold.

     Seungmin stood still at your threshold, unsure how to move in your space. You shook your head and guided him to leave his things by your couch and join you. He slowly did and approached as fast as a platypus. 

      You got up, careful not to apply much pressure on your bad leg and asked the awkward boy "Coffee?" 

      He looked you as if in thought. "Are you supposed to be standing?" 

      You shrugged, already hopping over to your counter. "I sprained it, I didn't break it so I should be fine. Want some cookies?" You asked, not bothering to turn to him as you were focused on the task. 

      "No, thank you" he said as he watched you make him coffee "Are you sure you're okay? Want some help?"he pressured.

      You did turn to look at him then. He was attentively looking at you from his seat, alert as he expected you to fall over.

      "What did Wooyoung said to you?" You joked as you leaned back. 

       "He said that you fell from a ladder. He didn't heard the crash, but he heard you shouting for help" he parroted back immediately, brows furrowing. 

       "Always the drama queen" you mumbled under your breath, but the boy heard you letting a chuckle at your words. "I am fine. Really. But thanks for the concern and thoughtfulness" 

       He looked at you oddly before turning you his back and reaching inside of his backpack to pull out the necessary items. "Minho had injured his leg last year. It took him a while to recover. He had it bad. But looking at you now.. you do seem fine. So finish that coffee and come here. We should begin" 

       "Yes sir. Right away sir!" You saluted. A small smile your only reply. 

     "Hey Puppy" 

     "Do NOT call me that" he stated, not even bothering to acknowledge you. You heard his sister calling him that over the phone, ever since you haven't missed the chance to call him that. He hated it, of course.

     "Say...You said you have read the SKZflix series right?"you wondered aloud and that was enough to catch his attention. He slightly turned his body towards you and stopped typing on his laptop. 

      "Yeah..why?" He asked, now giving you his full attention. He lifted his hand to pull his glasses away, rubbing his eyes tiredly. He needed more rest.

      "Well, you know that they are making a movie-"you started but was rudely interrupted.

      "Obviously" he sassed, scrunching his nose at you.

      You rolled your eyes at him. "Well it comes out next Friday. And I was wondering if you wanna..maybe.. go?"you mumbled the last part.

      He blinked in surprise. The last month and a half it was not strange for our groups to merge here and there. In fact, you have spend several evenings with your grumpy tutor and his sassy group. They now visit your workplace a lot more, even when Jisung has a day off. Yuna, Ryunjin and Minho, being all dance majors, have a lot of classes together and often end up having lunch together while the rest of you fill the table.You and Seungmin usually come together because your hours matched and your buildings are close. Jisung arrives always fashionably late and Wooyoung pops out here and there.

     Even though you spend a lot of days together, be it at school or outside of it, you have never hangout alone together. But it wasn't like you were never alone. But, never, neither you nor Seungmin have made such plans. But as soon as you saw the posters, your first thought was him. 

      Seungmin and you often talked about the movies and books you enjoyed and, to your surprise, your tastes matched. When you shared your favourite series you didn't expect the enthusiastic reaction. It seemed he was a hug fan as well. So it was only natural to think of him.

        "Sure" he said, after his initial surprise. "What time is the show?" He asked as a hand came to rub his nape. 

         "I don't know. I simply saw the posters. We can swing by after to see, if you are up to it" you said, fumbling with the paper in front of you. You couldn't keep still for some reason. 

         ".. Yeah, let's do that" he said, giving you a small smile.

   Days flew by quickly. Tomorrow was the screening for the movie and you were so excited. You contemplated dressing up as the main character, but you quickly disregarded the idea, thinking about the turned up noses and stares you would get. 

    You were on your way out when you felt your phone buzz and the familiar song filled the atmosphere. You fished it out of your pocket and checked the caller. Puppy, it read. 

    "Hel-" You squeaked as you balanced your phone in your shoulders to lock the door. 

    "She asked me out!" Seungmin shouted through the phone. His tone bright and happy, as if he had won the lotto. 

     You paused your motions, taking better hold of your phone. She asked him out? Soojin? When? What has you missed?

     "Soojin asked you out..?"you slowly repeated, trying to focus.

     "Yes! We were talking since the festival you know! She said that there is a photography exhibit at the center tomorrow so she invited me to go! She said she felt bad that she couldn't go with me when I asked her after the performance" he eagerly continued, happy with the date he scored. 

     "Tomorrow?"you asked as if you were lagging. Tomorrow was your movie. 

     "Yes! I know I told you I would go with you to the SKZflix... Do you think we can reschedule? I would own you a big one" he rushed to say, explaining himself. 

     You bit your lip hard enough to draw blood. They have known each other for nearly 2 months and they decide to go out now? Now that you had plans to watch the premiere? A sudden itch on your skin, your hands couldn't keep still. But what could you say? No?

     "..yeah. That's alright Seungmin. I mean- it's a bummer that you'll.. miss the movie. But- umm have fun at your date!"you rumbled, shifting uncomfortably. 

     "Thank you! We can still watch it together at my house some time later. Minho bought a pair of new speakers so he can practice at home. They help him to 'hear the music better' or whatever that means. They have amazing sound though, I give him that" he continued, happiness clear in his voice. On the other hand, you were distracted. You barely managed to step away from your building, answering with hums and acknowledging him when necessary. When you had crossed over half the distance to your work, you decided that you couldn't keep up anymore.

      "...my partner didn't know this, so the teacher said-" you hesitated but you cut off his grumpy voice, rather rudely. His just wanted to speak about his day, but you wanted none of that at the moment. You wanted some quiet.

      "Seungmin I am at work now. We should hang up." You stated, tone flat. You prayed that he couldn't hear the noise around you through the speakers.

       "Oh..okay.. I will talk to you later" He paused briefly. You usually let him talk longer, you tried not to interrupt him when he was ranting. Not today, you guessed 

       "Yeah. Later" you mumbled the last part and cut off the connection. You kind of stood there for a moment.

 Breathing in and then out.

 It would be a long day today. 

You could just feel it.

        You ended up seeing the premiere with Hong Joong, who was available and a big fan as well. He had recently ended his something with Dami and he was in the mood for company. That's how you ended up in a restaurant after the movie, happily drinking your night away. 

      The next day Seungmin particularly skipped over to you, all smiles and giggles. You almost didn't want to ask about last night so you didn't. You sat at your usual desk and dived into the math problems. You had ignored the efforts he made to start small talk, choosing instead to focus on the numbers in front of you. 

      You managed to stay quiet a whole hour and a half before your curiosity got the better of you. You turned towards him, a little hesitant and not looking at him, you asked "How did it go with Soojin yesterday?"

    He paused his typing and turned to you with a small smile. "Good. We went to the fair and then we grabbed something to eat. We had a great time"

     You slowly looked up to the desks in front of you. "That's great, Seungmin. I hope it goes well" you murmured. You felt a little funny today, distracted, head above the clouds. It must have shown because you felt a hand being placed on your shoulder. You turned, dazed, towards him. He had a smile, a different one this time, as if he was asking you if you were alright. He voiced his concern soon after. "Are you alright?" He asked slowly. 

     You met his stare for what it seemed like the first time this evening. His eyes were full of concern for you. You felt bad that your moody ass was making him concerned, so you plastered a small smile and answered.

"I am alright. Just a little blue"

      He looked at you for a beat. "Do you want to..maybe watch the SKZflix together? I have the place to myself. Sorry for cancelling last minute yesterday" he regretfully said, his head lowering this time. 

       You looked him over and the first thing you thought, he was feeling guilty. You don't know what he was guilty about..but you oddly appreciated the thought. So you gave him a small smile "it's a deal" you chuckled.

Days flew by in a rapid pace.

Life was normal, if not a little bit hectic. Your days was full of classes, work and Seungmin. You woke up, went to uni, you ate, you went to work, on the days you didn't work you had your lessons with Seungmin. To say the least, you were exhausted. 

And it was shown clear as day. Either by your ... irritable attitude or by your awful appearance.

     "Girl you look awful. Like I-spend-all-week-doing-all-nighters-and-have-been-drinking-only-energy-drinks" she put out while she pitifully looked down at you. 

Upon hearing her, you lifted your head and looked her dead in the eyes. "What kind life have you been living?" You returned, tiredly.

      "One that doesn't require me to live like a zombie. When was the last time you rested or went out like a normal person?"she inquired while taking a long sip of her already dried up frapuccino, making your temples throb even harder. 

       When was the last time? You picked yourself up and thought about it. "Like.. two weeks ago? I watched a movie with Seungmin" you concluded.

     Yuqi raised her eyebrow at that, but didn't comment. Instead she wondered, tone full of promises "Can you take off the next Friday and Saturday?"

      You threw a glance at her. "I can run it by boss. Why?" You asked. 

      Her eyes were almost glowing. "It's party time" 

     "Say it again"

   You winced when his voice reached your end of the line. You weren't even asking for a cancellation! "Puppyy" you let out a long whine. 

     "I thought you said you were on schedule, Y/N" 

     "I am. I am just...tired, Seungmin. I am running around since September with little to no time to rest" you mumbled as you run your hand over your face, trying to wake yourself up a little. "I am not asking you to cancel...just move it to the next day?" You asked, hopefully.

     Grumbles could be heard over the line. "Fine, yes" A brief pause and then "Are you ok?" He asked, a little above a whisper. 

       You let out a breath. "Yeah, I...I choice that. I just want to rest for 2 days." You concluded.

      "Okay. I guess I will see you on Sunday. Don't sleep in" he warned, knowing full well your post drinking behavior by now. He had woken you up many times by now.

     "I won't!" You chuckled  "As for the Sunday part. I have a proposition.." you trailed off with a smirk on your face.

 "It's freaking cold!" Yuqi whined as she stepped out of the car.

       You also got out of the Uber you had to catch because of the stinging cold. 

      You were already regretting the dress you chose to wear, even if your knee high boots were covering most of your legs, the cold was hard to beat and was freezing your exposed legs to the bone. You hurried towards the entrance of the club you had agreed to meet with the rest of the group.

    As you neared the club two loud laughs could be heard from the queue, two laughs you could recognize anywhere due to the long hours you spend together. Jisung and Wooyoung stood in the queue joking, quite loudly as Minho and Seungmin stood there, nodding and smiling at the goofy jokes that were thrown at them. You were pleasantly surprised by their presence, you were sure that when you had proposed the idea to your grumpy tutor the answer would be shift and... negative. 

    The both had donned their winter coats so you couldn't see exactly what they were wearing, but you catch sight of a collar picking from the neck of Seungmin's coat. He had pushed his hair back and now his face were all angles and sharp lines. After months of being in his presence you still couldn't believe how handsome he was. 

      "Hi!" Yuqi cheered, capturing the groups attention. Even if she hadn't greeted them, she would've captured the attention - the pink iridescent dress she wore left no other choice, but to look at it. Yuna and you followed closely behind her, huddling in the queue along them. You exchanged pleasantries with everyone and a quick hug with Woo and took your place next to Seungmin. 

       "Well we'll look who we have here!" You puffed, your breath shown clearly in front of your face - almost like white smoke. You could feel your nose running, possibly ruining your make up and the crispy wind slapping your face.

    He clicked his tongue and gestured with his chin to Minho. "He dragged me. Said something about having fun." He huffed and puffed like a child that was being dragged to a family gathering by their parents. 

       "Oh come on, you grandpa! We will have plenty of fun! You'll see!" You said, jumping in place to keep yourself warm. You saw him briefly looking down at your attire and your legs before tearing his gaze to your face. You wondered if the flush on his face was from the likes of you or the wind. But you didn't have time to dwell on it or question him as the bouncer ushered you all in.

     Stepping inside, smoke filled your lungs and colourful lights blinded you. The warehouse, that was turned into a club, was full of swaying young bodies that cheered and drunk the night away. A anxious waiter showed to your table, that were basically two stands pushed together and certainly couldn't accommodate your large group but you hadn't had it in you to complain, you simply dumped your things into the tables and catch the nearest waiter to take your orders. 

      After your third drink you found yourself on the dance floor in between Yuqi and Wooyoung. With Wooyoung's hands on your waist and your own embracing Yuqi around her shoulders, you threw your head back as you let the music that played consume you. Giggles and smoke surrounded you as you let your hazy gaze wondered and it fell straight to a pair of moody eyes that watched you. You untangled yourself from the chaos that were your friends and you lightly treaded towards Seungmin.

     He somehow managed to find a chair into the chaos, which he dragged to your table and sat there, his first glass of the night still in his hand half empty. You reached him and threw an arm over his shoulders, his sitting position making things easier. He side glanced you but didn't react otherwise, choosing to bring his glass to his lips. 

     "Seungminnie why are you brooding?" You sing songed as you shook him playfully. Everything had a pleasant haziness that you were enjoying, even the smoke that was suffocating before started to gently caressing you and the lights just made everything prettier. Especially the boy beside you.

      "I am not brooding" he scoffed as he turned slightly towards you. "I am simply not enjoying myself. This isn't my scene" 

     "Well how are you gonna enjoy yourself when you are sitting here alone?" You pouted and tagged at his black shirt, noticing he had rolled up to his elbows due to the the heat in there. A ridiculous idea popped into your head, making weirdly sense into your clouded mind then. "Come dance with me!" 

       He gave you a look and turned away again  "I don't wanna dance. Go back to Wooyoung and Yuqi" he said, not looking at you. His focus was on the dance floor and you fleetingly thought that maybe Soojin was in there, if he knew she come here often and the only reason he was here was to catch her or if he was simply watching by the sidelines again, but you shook your head dismissing the thought. Instead you stepped in front of him, effectively cutting his view of the crowd and making him look at you. 

        You tugged gently at his hands, not altering a word, you smiled and nodded to the floor and he got up willingly. Rocking on your uncomfortable heels, you looked at him for a moment and replied "But I wanna dance with you" 

        He also gazed at you for a moment, signed before giving a brief nod. You slipped your hand in his, for fear he will change his mind, and tugged him at the dance floor . You found a space by the sidelines that wasn't as crowded as the centre of the floor and started swaying away to the Rihanna song that blasted through the speaker. He stood there swaying awkwardly, even from your tipsy point of view. So you drew closer and threw your hands around his shoulders, making him match your tempo. He freezed briefly before you felt hands slowly cradling your waist and hips, which you were moving with the music and body mimicking your gestures. You looked up at him throwing a smile, hoping you were helping him relax and enjoy himself.

     He was looking down at you with a unrecognisable look. His brows was furrowed and his eyes lidded. His eyes looked more smothering and hot than normal under the red lights. So you did what your hazy mind told you and stepped even closer, hands tangling in the hair on his nape. The song, as if to prevent you, changed to something quicker and fun making you break the intense eye contact and swing wildly with him. 

       The songs were changing from pop to old rocks to rap music you both didn't know well but you didn't move from your spot, continuing dancing with each other. Tem songs have pasted until the DJ settled to a slow piece, that allowed tou to catch your breaths. You were both smiling, making grimaces and weird dance moves to entertain yourselves.            You were once again in each other's embrace, moving slowly. You tip toed to whisper in his ears "See? Aren't you having fun?"

    His breath fanned your jaw and neck as he draw even more near and whispered "Yeah" 

      You turned your head to look at him and realized you were inches apart. You could see the lights reflected in his eyes, a swirling mess of colours, much alike to what you were feeling now. His sharp features looked painfully good and mixed with the smell of his musky cologne, it made you more dizzy than the drinks you previously had. His lips, unreasonably red and inviting, parted lightly and only then you realized you were looking at his mouth. You pulled your gaze to his eyes, only to see his gaze lifting up to meet yours, painfully obvious that he followed the same path as you. You could feel the distance between your lips getting smaller and his hands holding you just a bit tighter as you both moved closer to shorten the distance-

        "Y/N!" A loud voice pulled you out of your daydream. You took a step back out of Seungmin's arms and turned to the direction of the call, only to see a pink clad figure approaching. "I looked all over for you! Come with me for a moment, please?" She wrapped herself around your form, batting her glittery eyelashes at you. You laughed and nodded, casting a glance at your partner.

      "Go ahead. I will go order a drink" Seungmin said as he passed a hand through his already disheveled hair. Before you could answer him, your friend started dragging you away. So you called over your shoulder to wait for you by the bar, by the smile he sent over his shoulder, you took it as a sign of consent.

      You waved your way through the crowd, which was getting larger as the night went by and found the toilet tucked away in a corner. The line, fortunately, wasn't unfathomably big so you leaned by the wall awaiting your turns.

       "Girl what was that on the dance floor?" Yuqi inquired as she came to stand in front of you. Not a sight of sweat on her skin, despite the way she was jumping on the dance floor. You sure you looked like a mess.

      "What?" You asked as you looked over the tacky bathroom, from the papers that littered the ground to the overflowing baskets by the sinks. 

        "Don't what me. You and Seungmin, of course. I swear you were ready to kiss, if I hadn't walked in" she gassed, leaning even more towards you. "Did I do something stupid?" 

     A brief irritation passed over you, before shaking your head to clear it from the alcohol you consumed. "It wasn't like that. We were just talking, maybe it looked weird from your angle. Besides he likes someone else." You dismissed as you moved deeper into the bathroom. 

         "Are you sure? You looked pretty comfy to me." She questioned, giving you her pooch as she reached an empty bathroom stall. 

          "I mean.. yeah. We are close" You answered, facing the mirror. Your make up wasn't totally ruined, but you could see a faint shine to your face due to the heat and all the dancing you were doing. You quickly passed your hands through your locks, ruffling them just right. Before reaching into Yuqi's bag and reapplying the lipstick on your face. You didn't mind the slightly different shade. You closed it up and waited for your companion to exit the stall. Once she did exit and after a couple of 'are you sure' questions, you braved the crowd once again, reaching your table in a agonizing slow pace. 

       When you did arrive, you saw the lone figures of Seungmin and Minho at the table, the others were missing. Even after a quick scan of the dance floor you only managed to pinpoint a dancing Jisung and a Ryunjin chilling with a couple girlfriends' of hers. Wooyoung wasn't anywhere to be found, but you had learned better than to question that. 

      "Wanna have shots?" You asked. The buzz was going away and you couldn't have that, especially that early into the night. 

         "You already had 3 drinks"  Seungmin said, leaning in his chair once again. Minho sipped on his drink of choice but didn't give a negative reply yet, seemingly watching the scene unfold. 

            "Blasphemy! I only had two. Come on three shots!" You raved as you bounced, along with Yuqi, who you didn't have to get consent. 

"Yeah! Let's have some shots!" Her booming voice, parroted. 

         "One" he said, ignoring your pouty lips and puppy eyes. 

         "Two" you challenged, already making your way to the bar, giggling along the way with Yuqi. 

         Once you reached the bar, you waved the pretty bartender over and placed your orders. 4 shots of tequila. You gave the boys their own, noticing Seungmin looked at the glass like it was poison. You cheered, clinked your glasses and off you went to the dance floor, where you ended up in the arms of your handsome tutor. As the night went the one shot became two, and then three, and then four and then you lost count. The only thing that was on your mind was the music, the laughter and the arms that supported you. 

       Suddenly the world was twirling along with you and your eyes closed. When you opened your eyes again, darkness greeted you. You felt yourself moving but not really, and your head leaning on a surface, that was uncomfortable and digging on your cheek. You made to move but a warm voice told you not to and as a warm sensation racked your back, darkness took over again. 

      Your eyes fluttered open once again,but this time, light was hitting your face. 

      You groaned as the first thing you felt was a raging headache. How much did you drink? You opened your eyes only to see that you were in bed, blanket tightly wrapped around your frame in order to keep warm. How did you get home? You sat up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes and stretching your body. You could feel your legs killing you, even though you hadn't used them yet. You stepped on the ground to get up but a sudden groan from the floor spooked you. A body laid there, in between your spare blankets. Oh god...what have you done? 

       "You finally woke up?" A deep voice grunted, still laced with sleep. Seungmin?! He rose from the floor, wrapping the blankets around him and he moved onto the bed with a pained moan. "Move" 

      You pulled your body to the side, allowing him to climb better and lay down on your bed. His shirt was replace by one of your oversized hoodies that, no surprise there, fit him well enough, since they were huge on you. His hair was messy from sleep and his eyes half closed.

      "Seungmin? Why are you here?" You asked, but he was already in dreamland.

      You looked at him for a beat, trying to gather your thoughts. You remember dancing with him last night, cracking jokes and laughing.. and then nothing. You vaguely remember waking up to a moving vehicle, leaning on someone and you looked at the boy sleeping in your bed. Did something happened between you? No. Seungmin wasn't the type of guy to take advantage of you. Also, you had your clothes on and he was sleeping on the floor, you doubted that he was that gifted. 

     You got up, treading towards your bathroom. Your hair could be more of a mess, you decided, thanking yourself for straightening it last night. Your face was clean of make up, only a light shadow under your eyes from your mascara. So that meant you washed up last night. You now realized that you were dressed in your PJs and that you had no recollection of doing so or anything for that matter. Hell, you didn't even remember bringing Seungmin here. You washed up and went to your living room again.

      Seungmin was still peacefully sleeping in your bed and you felt bad waking him up, especially when he spent the night sleeping on the floor. You decided on making some coffee and breakfast. That would be sufficient for now. 

      You had just finished making the last bit of the french toast, when a grunt left your guest. You looked over and saw him, slowly sitting up and freezing when he realized that he was sleeping on your bed and not on the cold floor. 

      "Good morning" you saluted, from your seat in the kitchen table- already nursing a cup of hot coffee. "I made breakfast. Come to eat."  

     He slowly walked up to me and took a seat opposite of you. Either your toast looked really appetizing or he was really hungry, because he fell immediately on top of the plate and started devouring it. "Coffee?" You asked,  getting a positive grunt so you got up and  poured him a mug. You looked idly at the boy, eating your breakfast and hesitantly spoke up. "Seungmin? How did you end up here?" 

    He looked up from his feast and took a sip before he spoke. "You don't remember?" 

    "..No" you responded. 

He lifted his hand on your forehead, flicking it lightly. You blinked, rubbing the sore spot on your forehead "Ouch! Why was that?!" 

     "For the trouble you got me into. After you downed your first shot, you kept drinking. I tried to stop you but you slipped away. Mind you, surprisedly, stealthily for someone so drunk and downed more shots. Eventually it took a toll on you and you blackened out. I brought you here." He used his dad look, the look when you got a problem wrong. Squinting eyes, eyebrows drawn together and his left side of his lips slightly raised. 

     You cleared your throat in order to avoid the tension. "And how exactly you ended up staying over?" You quietly mumbled, now playing with your food. You expected the worst now. 

      He quietened for a moment before reaching to scratch his nape. "You... umm.. you were in a pretty bad condition and I didn't want to leave you alone. You threw up several times-" You closed your eyes, regretting your past actions. But quickly your eyes quirked over your place, looking for accidents.

       "No! No you managed to race to the bathroom. I didn't see anything, but I.. umm.. heard you. " he rushed to get out, explaining the situation. You mentally face palmed, of course you had and done that. You hanged your head in shame, not mustering enough courage to look at Seungmin at the eye. "Are you ok?"  

       You huffed, lifting your head only a little to look at him. His attention was on you, eyes full of worry. Who could blame him though? You would worry about you, if you were in his shoes. "Yeah.. I do that kind of often... if I have too much to drink. And the clothes?" 

       "You gave them to me." He said, pitching the sky blue hoodie he wore to show it off. "I almost thought you were cold stone sober when you exited. You gave me clothes and insisted for me to sleep on the bed."he laughed, making you hang your head even lower.

     "A guest should always take the bed."you mumbled even quieter than before. 

     "Yeah that was exactly what you said!" He laughed, your embarrassment clearly entertaining him. 

      "Puppy... " You said carefully, as you put your weight on your elbows on top of the table. He looked at you, now resigned at the shameful nickname and hummed. "My head is killing me.."

      "Serves you right" was the immediate response. Meanie.

      "Yes..but I don't know if I can concentrate like that-" you got out before he cut you off.

       "You can't concentrate either way. Now get to the point" he huffed, taking a sip of his coffee. 

 "Canwepleasenothavealessonandputonamovie?" You got out as quickly as you could, secretly hoping he wouldn't hear you and just agree. A girl could hope. 

     He didn't shut you down immediately, just looked at you with a strange expression. 

     "You don't have to fill it. It would be on me. Promise" you persuaded him further. 

      He looked at you some more, before nodding "What do you wanna see?" He said as he got up to put his plate on the sink. You grabbed the chance to go and get the laptop and prob it to the coffee table, stretching yourself on the still unmade bed. 

      "I started the show you proposed. It's good. I am on episode 4. Hey! Leave them! I will do it later" you called over your shoulder, hearing water running from the kitchen. 

     "You did? I told it was good!" He exclaimed, as he finished the dishes and took his respective place on the other side of the bed. 

     "Care for a rerun?" You wingled your brows.

      "Nah, put it on" and the rest of the day was spent there with idle talk and comments about this and that...

You could get used to that...

Next»

#stray kids #stray kids scenarios #stray kids fanfic #stray kids imagines #stray kids reactions #stray kids recs #skz #skz stay #stray kids bang chan #bang chan #lee minho #stray kids lee minho #seo changbin #stray kids seo changbin #hwang hyunjin #stray kids hwang hyunjin #han jisung #stray kids han jisung #lee felix #lee yongbok #stray kids lee felix #stray kids felix #kim seungmin #kim seungmin fanfic #kim seungmin x reader #kim seungmin scenarios #kim seungmin x you #kim seungmin x y/n #kim seungmin fluff #kim seungmin imagines

[bluesylveon2]

AOT Season 4 The Final Chapters Thoughts:

Crunchyroll won't let me screenshot so I will write out my thoughts instead:

I like how this part of Season 4 is Armin-centric. The first part was dedicated to Eren and then the second part was dedicated to Mikasa

Yall I lowkey forgot Armin gets kidnapped by the okapi titan

The cgi continues to improve for aot. However, you can tell MAPPA's budget went to jjk because of the amount of fanservice they are giving 😂

The Survey Corps vs past titans shifters fight was so good!!! I liked watching it more than reading it because you could see what happens in the action. Also the scene with Pieck running toward the Warhammer titan was hilarious

I like the detail of the gray people and the colored baby. The baby represents the future and it being colored represents the hope of getting through the Rumbling. I like how everything became colored once the titans stopped moving.

Levi finally killing Zeke was satisfying. Now Zeke can be reborn as Toji in jjk because we know stuff is going down there too lol

Can I just say that I love the aruani scenes? Like Annie immediately asks where's Armin but tries to play it off and Mikasa was not buying it! Then there was the other part where Annie saves Armin and AHHHH I loved it!! Her dad better be impressed if Annie got with Armin cause he is so cool

Okay that hallucigenia thing needed to go. We don't even know where it went after Eren died. We assume it died with him because everyone turned back to normal. Also, I guess every titan had a piece of hallucigenia in them, specifically in their spine that connects their CNS and their PNS. It turning others into titans was it's way to "multiply" and keep it alive

The eremika kiss was not as creepy as I remember in the manga. The lighting helped it a lot. I remember reading that part and questioning what was Isayama thinking when he wrote that

I like to think of Eren as Lelouch from Code Geass, except Lelouch lived to see the effects of what he did. Eren had no choice but to die after wiping out 80% of humanity.

On that thought, there was one part where Armin was like "we can't have conflict if we destroy the outside world." Well, we already saw at the beginning of S4 that is not the case. There will always be conflict in the world. We even see it today. Sure, Eren could have killed everyone, but you still have conflict within Paradis. We saw it already with the Jaegerists. Eren helped his friends have a peaceful life but that would end eventually once they passed.

I sobbed at the part with everyone reuniting. It was sweet in the manga, it was sweet now

Historia's daughter is so cute!!!!

I like the ending even if it is slightly different from the manga. Of course you get the 104 + Pieck coming to Paradis (Jean looking great as always lol), Mikasa seeing birb Eren, Onyakopon and Yelena (finally) helping out, Levi with the kids, and Falco/Gabi planting a tree to signify new beginnings

Now...my only complaint about this episode was the credits. WHY DID THEY MAKE IT SMALL??? i WANTED TO KNOW WHO MIKASA MARRIED!!!! I liked the detail with the other kid tho. The boy sees the tree with a hole and walks in. I think this is Isayama's way of showing that titans can return and Eren would be the new Ymir. I'm not too certain, but it would suck for Eren because he would not be free. Maybe the kid could be the new Ymir? Who knows? My question would be how would titans survive modern day. Obviously they would evolve, but can they survive modern technology. We may not use swords much anymore but there is nuclear technology.

(Edit: it is possible Mikasa married Jean based on what we see in the anime/manga. I feel like that's not a good ending for either one of them because a) Mikasa's heart belongs to Eren. It's like Rose from the Titanic. Basically, Mikasa won't love Jean or whoever she married fully. b) Jean seems to be busy conducting the peace talks with the others. Idk if he would have time for Mikasa unless they were both cool with it. c) I think it's just not a good ending for either of them. I felt bad for Mikasa throughout the whole episode and that as her ending is...idk...I would feel even bad for her)

I know Isayama is done with the series but i have questions I want answered!!! 😭 Still, I got into this fandom back in 2013 and it has been a good 10 years. I met a lot of great people from the fandom who I still talk to today. Aot is my favorite anime and I plan on rewatching the anime or buy the manga in the future. Now it is time for me to go to the next fandom aka twst lol

#attack on titan #aot #aot season 4 #aot the final chapters #eren yeager #mikasa ackerman #armin arlert #levi ackerman #connie springer #jean kirstein #reiner braun