#calling someone dumb or just. hating someone for such tiny things (ex. ''they were annoying'' or ''they did (xyz)'') and i guess to be fair?

[thefanficmonster]

Kick Some Ghost Ass

”Until Dawn Gang x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Swearing, Sex jokes (excuse my bad humor)

Genre: CRACK, Humor

Summary: It’s one thing when trouble finds this gang, but why don’t we take a look at what happens when they go actively looking for trouble. Needless to say, chaos ensues and no one is spared. Some are more affected than others, and some are dead-ass traumatized, but isn’t that just how life is in general?

Requested by my dearest ever - Until Dawn Anon. Hi lovely! I’ve missed writing your requests and I’m really happy to be back, creating another chaotic fic! I’m sorry it has taken me so long to post it but here it finally is - crazy as ever! I hope you enjoy it! Love you to Blackwood Pines and back baby ❤❤❤

I don’t know how I’ve found myself in this situation but I’m not complaining. If I get to do dumb crazy shenanigans with my crew, I’m ready for just about anything. Not to mention I’m no stranger to ghost hunting. I’m that kid that made DIY Ouija boards and took them to cemeteries with their terrified friends. You should’ve seen us leaving after capturing no ghostly activity - my friends relieved as fuck, and me pissed as fuck.

But today, I’m not expecting nor will I be accepting any disappointment. Especially not with Jess swearing on her Chanel purse that she wasn’t making things up when she said she had a haunted house she wanted us to visit. I must say, I appreciate this group’s enthusiasm when it comes to the paranormal. Never have I had someone who catches my vibe on the subject so well, let alone an entire gang all sharing the same opinion as me - that ghosts, demons and poltergeists are so fucking cool. Sure, Emily took a bit of convincing and Jess is not one to give a shit about the other world creatures invisible to the human eye, but something allegedly happened that changed her mind.

Her a-hundred-and-something-year-old great-grandmother passed away recently and though the death itself didn’t shake Jess up as much as it probably should’ve, the events that followed led to this moment right now - the eleven of us pooling out of two minivans that have pulled up to a terrifying looking house in a wooded are of the suburbs. Jess literally gathered us all on an ‘emergency meeting’ in the courtyard of our college just so she could explain the situation in detail - she doesn’t do well with explaining things in general, let alone when she’s hysterical - so we only understood what she was trying to say when she mentioned the word ‘ghost’. That’s when we all started listening more closely, with the exception of Emily, Beth and Sam but the latter two were intrigued despite trying yo hide it. You can only imagine how excited Josh, Chris and I were, Mike and Matt following a close second behind. Ash was a tiny bit more hesitant but Chris convinced her to give in. And just like that, a week later, here we are.

“I gotta ask, did your great-gran own a VHS player? Or a chest in the attic? Bonus points if there’s a creepy, child-sized doll in there.“ Josh asks as he yanks all the equipment he insisted we bring out of the trunk of the minivan.

“Quit fucking around, Josh! This is serious!“ Jess complains from the spot she’s standing in, shivering in the cold autumn breeze.

“Yeah, Josh! VHS players, creepy dolls, that’s all child’s play.“ I scold him as I pull on my jacket, wrapping it around me more tightly, “Shit gets serious when there’s a secret basement.“

“Y/N!“ Jess shrieks in exasperation. Honesty, how am I supposed to NOT bother her when doing the opposite is so much easier and brings more amusement? “You’re not helping!“

“Wasn’t trying to.“ I wink at her, driving her into a new level of fury that almost leads her to chuck her phone at me. If it weren’t such a prized possession of hers, I’m pretty sure she would’ve chucked it with the intention of knocking me dead. I’m lucky she has the aim of a drunk toddler that spun around fifteen times.

“Hey, quit pissing my girlfriend off, will ya?!“ Mike, who is basically halfway inside the trunk of the other van calls out to us.

I roll my eyes but choose to let it slide. However, someone else doesn’t. Emily does a dramatic turn on her heel, turning to face Mike, or at least the only part of him which is visible. You can imagine how hard it is arguing with an ass like THAT. I don’t know how Emily does it but oh well, I guess I do it too, in a way.

“So it’s girlfriend now, huh? No space between the words?“ Oh that smile she’s flashing him, it could make the Devil himself shiver. I find it kinda hot though - it means shit’s about to go down or hit the fan, either way, the rest of us will be entertained.

Mikey boy straightens up, gracing the rest of us by-standers with his dazzling features. Nah, I’m capping. I honestly think Mike is as attractive as I am patient - very little, almost not at all. It’s surprising how him and Jess are now apparently together since I always pegged her to be the superficial type.

“Got a problem with that, Em?“ He asks, eyebrow raising, head tilting to the side. Oh yeah, it’s on now. But, as someone who’s been quite excited to do some ghost hunting, and also as a representative of the peanut gallery formed of the rest of us who find it amusing and annoying, I feel the need to cut it short before it goes where it shouldn’t. I came to see some exorcist shit, not Keeping Up With The Bitter Exs.

“Jess, I sure hope your grandma is a blood-thirsty ghost cause I can think of at least two people I’d serve to her on a silver platter.“ I snatch the keys the blond has been jingling nervously between her fingers and jog up the stairs to the front door.

Ok I maybe overexaggerated the eeriness of the house. It sure wouldn’t sit right with you if you saw it around sunset or at night, especially not if it’s foggy, but a horror movie house it is most certainly isn’t. It’s pristine and well kept, not a single crack in the walls, the only reason it’s unsettling is because: 1) We’ve all seen a few too many horror movies; 2) There’s been reports of ‘ghostly activity’ - as far as Jess is to be trusted.

While I’m surfing through all the keys, checking each and every single one of them on the door because the real key is unmarked, I can’t help but overhear the conversation going on behind me on the porch.

“Can you believe we got all this in a single day and for a discount on top of all?! Whoever says Craigslist sucks isn’t doing it right.“ Chris’ enthusiasm over the deal him and Josh got on the ghost hunting equipment has been what’s keeping a wide grin on his face this whole time. Though I’m proud of my boys for not getting murdered by the Craigslist seller, I must say I hate that I lost the bet we had - I had to pay them each ten bucks if they didn’t get scammed/kidnapped/murdered and I’m now twenty bucks poorer. I’m not saying I value those twenty bucks more than my friends, though my broke ass needs all the bucks it has and all the dollar bills it could get, but Lord knows I hate losing.

“Yeah, and the guy was only mildly sketchy.“ Josh adds just as excitedly and proudly, “To be honest, Cochise and I were probably the scary looking ones in that parking lot.“

A look over my shoulder shows the twins, Sam, Matt and Ash giving the duo skeptical and somewhat disappointing looks and shakes of their heads. I’ll admit, the equipment is in very good condition and it’s the complete set for ghost-hunting, according to BuzzFeed at least. I’m impressed with the purchase - probably had something to do with how scary Chris and Josh actually look. The all-nighters we’ve all been pulling lately have taken a toll on them worst with the dark circles and bags under their hollow eyes, pale faces and brains turned to mush. I know I’d give them a discount to avoid them pulling out meat cleavers on me.

“That’s all fine and dandy guys, but do you know how to work any of this?“ Sam asks, hesitantly lifting the EMF reader and turning it in her hand, analyzing it with a curious gaze. 

Josh and Chris exchange a look before the former replies, “Just the cameras and voice recorder, the rest falls on them.” He points a finger at me and laughs, “Though they aren’t able to work something as simple as keys, they are more than qualified to be a ghostbuster.”

“You know, Josh, jokes on you, I can work keys! Jess, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to be able to work well with organizing things, hence my problem with these keys.“ I hurl the bunch of keys connected my a scarlet keychain at Josh, “Lemme demonstrate my true skills.“ I hop down the flight of stone stairs and approach the pile of equipment the guys have created smack-dab in the middle of the house’s driveway. 

“Oh, I gotta see this!” Mr. Ex-Class-President all but runs over, frowning when we all turn to look at him just as I pick up the spirit box to show off how it works, “Oh that’s what you meant. So you aren’t taking your clothes off?“

Jess and I are alike in one thing - the need we feel to chuck objects at people who piss us off. “You’re girlfriend is, like, right behind you, Munroe. Have some decency!”

“I was gonna enjoy a show as well, but I’m guessing we won’t be getting one.“ The girlfriend in question replies, looking at me quizzically as though that’s gonna convince me into discarding my outfit.

“No, unless you’re a ghost.“ I point the device I’m holding at Mike, “But if your boyfriend here keeps acting up I might turn him into one.“

“That sounds kinda kinky.“ Beth’s comment surprises me. The wink she sends me even more so. “And I kinda like it.“

Ok, ok, ok, hold on. 

Flirting with Munroe is one thing, but Beth is a completely different story. I can be threatening Mike with a knife one moment and cracking sex jokes with him over cold beer the next. While Beth actually has the ability to get me flustered and blushing, and my close relationship with her brother doesn’t help. Mother fucker can just whack me upside the head every time he catches me fussing over my silly crush on his sister.

“Ew, you too! Keep it in your pants or at least get a room.“ Emily doesn’t miss a beat when it comes to being herself. She’s truly a garbage bin full of treasure.

“We’d do the latter if SOMEONE could get the door open.” I glare daggers at Josh who is making hopeless attempts at what I was doing earlier - unlocking that damn door.

“I’d be more than happy to come through for you ladies.“ Mike says, getting in a stance of a runner before a race, his body directly opposite the door.

Oh I can’t wait to see where this is going. I SHOULD RECORD IT.

“Mike, it’s still breaking and entering and it’s still against the law even if the person’s dead.“ Sam points out, entering her mother-like mode, ruining the fun and causing me to pout at her. She gives me a look of disappointment - one worse than I’ve ever seen on my parents - so I just shut my trap before she can also express said disappointment through words and have me feeling guilty for the rest of the day.

A loud crash suddenly echoes causing us to turn our heads to look for the source of the terrifyingly startling sound. One glance is all it takes to put our minds at ease and a second one is enough to provoke different reactions in all of us - the broken window telling the story of where Josh has disappeared.

“What did I just say about breaking and entering?!“ Sam shouts after him while the vast majority of us are cracking up like hyaenas. Jess is just gaping at the broken window next to the front door in disbelief. She obviously can’t decide whether to join in on the fun or serve as back-up to Sam. Josh did technically damage private property that’s partially hers, but if you ask me it serves her right for not marking her keys.

“Sorry, I was too busy breaking the window to hear that part of the conversation!“ Josh’s apologetic smile appears on the other side of glassless frame. I can’t tell if he’s genuinely sorry or holding back laughter but either way, he looks innocent enough for Sam to let him off the hook as long as he doesn’t cause any more trouble - in which case: tough luck. Chris, Josh and I are nothing if not troublemakers, especially when we’re together. Chris tones it down when Ash’s around, and the same goes for Josh with Sam while I’m simply problematic regardless of who’s watching. My chaos is untamable, it’s a blessing and a curse and I love it, even though it’s landed me in hot water more than once. It’s nice to be around people on the same wavelength - chaos resides within this group and not a single one of us can hide it.

“At least we have a way in now.“ Ash offers Josh a helping hand in this argument after she recovers from the overwhelming fit of laughter. “I hope the broken window doesn’t anger your gran, Jess.“

The blond snaps out of her trance briefly, “No, she was a very sweet lady, but damn is Josh creative!” She hurries to correct herself, “Destructively creative.”

I hurry to correct her once again, “Chaotically creative.”

“Guys, do you mind coming in? It’s very creepy standing here alone!“ Josh calls out to us, looking over his shoulder at the interior of the house, “I’m expecting to be snatched and dragged to that secret basement we mentioned.“

“Mention it one more time and I swear to God-!“ Jess screams, fists tightened.

Before her angry wrath could crash atop us, we all make our way into the house through the broken window, carefully avoiding the shards of glass strewn about. One step inside and we’re met with the upmost of horror clichés - a drop in temperature. We’re all wearing thick hoodies because the weather outside is chilly in and of itself, but said hoodies aren’t as efficient at holding the house’s cold at bay and away from out skin.

Chris and Matt make their way in last, carrying the equipment consisting of three cameras, flashlights for everyone, an EMF reader, a spirit voice box, a voice recorder and a motion detector. I help them hand a light to each group member as well as a ghost-hunting device before we venture onward.

“If I were your grandma’s ghost, I’d be ten times more pissed about that window. It looks to me like that lady payed a lot of attention to keeping things in order.“ Matt comments while he examines the expensive looking painting hanging in the hallway.

I hear Emily scoff, “Unlike some.” but the remark is said so quickly and quietly I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who heard it.

Jess laughs, “She did like things in order, but she was never as strict as you might think. As I said, she was very sweet.“

“So do you just not take after her at all or were you adopted?“ Emily’s remarks are no longer a mumbled jumble of words, “No, nevermind, of course you’re not adopted. Your parents are smart people, they wouldn’t have chosen you if they had the chance.“

Jess laughs again, much more menacingly this time, causing me to exchange a look with Hannah who’s walking beside me. “Twenty bucks says one of them isn’t making it out of here.” It’s just a matter of time, to be honest. If not the lodge, or any party we’ve ever attended as a group, this haunted house is the perfect opportunity for a murder. We could even argue it was a ghost.

Luckily, the two cats clawing at each other’s throats don’t overhear, “No, my parents aren’t stupid, but your boyfriend clearly is. He chooses to date you! Or are you holding him captive or something.“

Ok that’s enough. I can tolerate a lot of things, but people calling one of my best friends stupid is not something I’m about to put up with, “How dare you call one of my hoes stupid?” I sneer at Jess, eyes narrowing.

“I thought I was your hoe too!“ She fights back, looking almost offended.

“Even more reason you shouldn’t have called him that! I don’t tolerate my hoes not respecting each other.“ 

I don’t get to see where this argument goes because Ashley’s shriek echoes throughout the hallway, stealing mine as well as the attention of everyone else. 

“There’s a ghost in here!“ Making it to the doorway of the room she’s in first, I peak my head inside and see the EMF reader she’s holding going nuts as if it’s detected something.

“Don’t worry, Ash, there’s a dead cactus here. That’s not the ghost we’re looking for, is it?“ Chris, my amazingly bright friend says, quirking an eyebrow suggesting that remark was nothing short of dead-ass serious.

“Chris, darling, that’s not how it works. Cactuses are plants.“ I point out as sweetly as I can as to mask my laughter.

“Don’t the same ghostly rules apply?“ The genuine look of confusion he gives me almost makes me lose it.

“Ok children, leave the room, we need to set up a motion detector to be sure.“ Beth says with a tone that suggests she’s more than over our insanity. Jeez, count on her and Sam to start parenting us through our chaos. They are of high authority, must admit - one genuinely feels bad if they don’t comply to whatever these two girls demand.

We all pile out in the hallway while the twins set up this interesting motion detector with green dots. I don’t know what Jess’ granny looked like, but I bet that even the most unattractive of people would look hella good with this lighting. Thankfully the room is dark enough with the shutters closed and the curtains drawn, allowing the dots to be perfectly visible.

We stare at the minimalistic room littered with fluorescent green dots on every surface for maybe a minute or two but not much happens to the disappointment to some and relief to others. However, as if not wanting to let us down, the ghost makes a shy appearance if the shift of the green dots is anything to go by.

“Oh shit, is that a ghost?“ Chris whispers, sounding as amazed as I feel in this moment.

“It better be.“ I mutter in response, refusing to blink and risk missing anything important.

The sudden presence of the obnoxious noise of the spirit voice box makes us all jump. As I turn my head to glare at whoever’s using it, Josh speaks up. “Are you an attractive ghost?”

“Josh, that’s my great-grandmother, you ass!“ Jess barks with disgust in her voice.

In the meantime, I catch glimpse of Mike rolling up his sleeves. Oh shit, this ain’t good.

“I’ve been waiting for this!“ He shouts victoriously, cracking his knuckles.

Knowing this won’t end well, the first thing I do is snatch the camera from Chris’ hands and turn it on.

“Um, Mike, what do you mean?“ Sam’s back to being concerned, turning to the rest of us when Mike doesn’t give her a response, “What’s he gonna do?“

“Fight it.“ I answer as though it’s the most normal thing to ever have been done, “Or, ash he calls it - kick some ghost ass.“

“A freaking ghost?! He’s gonna try to tussle with something he can’t see?“ I can’t tell if Matt’s tone is disbelief, amusement or disappointment, but I believe he isn’t about to try and stop or dear ex-president in his pursuit and that’s all that matters. I ain’t about to let someone stop whatever’s about to go down from going down.

“That’s still my great-grandmother, you dumbass!“ Jess shrieks with something alike terror.

“Don’t worry Jess, I’m sure she’ll go easy on him.“ I say in an attempt to reassure her but I can’t even be bothered really, I’m too laser-focused on the circus that’s about to take place in front of me.

Mike, as if encouraged by my words, charges into the room. Much to his dismay, before he could even reach the ghost, he’s met with a much more vigorous enemy - the carpet. The rascal trips him up and Mr. Munroe falls flat on his face.

The group stays silent, looking at the glorious aftermath of the glorious fall. Told ya these lights could make everything fabulous. Must say, it’s truly an honor for me to have been able to catch all that on tape.

“10/10, would ghost-hunt with Mikey Munroe again.“

#until dawn #until #dawn #the dark pictures #the dark pictures little hope #the dark pictures man of medan #the dark pictures anthology #the dark pictures house of ashes #dark pictures little hope #dark pictures anthology #little hope #man of medan #supermassive #supermassive games #video games #video game fanfic #mike #sam #chris #josh #jessica #ashley #matt #emily #sam giddings #josh washington #chris hartley #ashley brown #mike munroe #jessica riley

[diaco1968]

Sidechicks

Oikawa Toru x f!Reader

Warnings! Nsfw/smut, bj, unprotected, a little bit of choking and hair pulling, but mostly manipulation and angst!

Note: Oikawa is a mean manipulative player in this and reader sadly gets attached to him. And I just had to get this idea out of my head >_<

"You what?"

It was probably the first time you saw concern in his face. Even if it was just a tiny fleeting moment. Was it concern or was it something else?

"You heard me."

Your voice was as stern as you had planned but you just couldn't bring yourself to close the door in his face. As much of a jerk as he was, you had missed seeing him. He was indeed a nice catch. If anyone could actually hold on to him.

"I did, I was just giving you a chance to try and not sound so dumb."

"Excuse you?"

He took the moment of hesitation to slip inside through the door way as if he was actually invited and insisted to go in.

"Who goes back to their ex!"

He exclaimed exaggerating as he looked around the room, almost same as he had left it months ago. Much cleaner though. What he really meant was 'who leaves ME to go back to their ex' but of course eventhough his pride was striked he was not dumb enough to not know he was on thin ice here.

"Well someone who might've made a mistak in leaving him in the first place, Oikawa."

Ouch not off to a good start so far.

"Whatever happened to Toru?..."

"Same thing that happened to I promise I'll call you this time sweetheart."

He didn't know exactly what you were referring to, only 'when'. But he was glad you reminded him of what your personal pet name was, cause as usual he had forgotten. But... were you perhaps just trying to get on his nerve by saying you'd go back to your ex? Cause if you did and he actually fell for it... he would be even more pissed.

"I know... I'm so sorry! I was just hit by some heavy work load and tight schedule, deadlines... I wanted to call so many times but something always popped up... if you only knew how much I've been thinking of you."

Whatever your plan was, you were not going to win this. He was the player here. And lying was fair game for his side bitches.

"... right."

You rolled your eyes but the deep sorry tone of his voice got to you, making you subconsciously close the door behind him anyway. You knew he couldn't have meant it. You knew. But you also knew this was just a game. And even though you were hurting, you couldn't help but want to pretend he was being truthful. Thst he actually cared about you like you had come to care about him...Just for a moment or two.

"You don't believe me?"

His sharp eyes had noticed the fresh flowers on the kitchen counter. You were moving on, this was not a drill.

"That I've been thinking about you every moment of every day,"

"I um-..."

He had turned around and was in your personal space with 2 long steps before you knew it, staring into your eyes with deadly eyecontact as he grabbed your hand and pulled it up to his lips as he leaned down, placing a warm open mouthed kiss on your knuckles that had you reddening immediately.

"These beutiful elegant hands,"

When he came back up he had already his fingers hooked under your chin, tilting your face up to him.

"Your beautiful (e/c) eyes,"

His thumb ran over your cheek as his long fingers moved to rest on your neck, creeping to the back of your neck, making goosebumps rise on your skin.

"Your delicate skin,"

His voice dropped ever so slowly that you almost didn't notice as his eyes moved down your face stopping at your lips, his own parting as his tongue sweeped over his bottom lip before he captured it between his teeth, pupils going wide like a cat staring at his favourite toy.

"Those delicious, soft lips..."

He was whispering on your lips now and you were so flustered by the compliments the little touches and the hot breath in your face that you couldn't take it anymore as you closed the distance between you two and crashed your lips onto his.

'Got you now.'

He was not at all suprised by this outcome but he let out a soft hum and slwoly wrapped his arm around your waist, his other hand slipping into your hair and cupping the back of your head to hold you in place as he moulded your lips together hungrily. His tongue swiping at your lips and you denied his entrance with a tiny moan.

Now one thing you probably didn't understand was that he was indeed hungry for this kiss, but not quite the way you wanted him to be. He had definitely thought about you and all he mentionded and desired you accordingly, but right before he had decided to change his way and come pay you a visit cause he was in the area and had nothing else to do. As in, just about 15 minutes ago. He did think about your elegant hands, desperately grabbing onto him. Your beautiful eyes, glazed over and looking up at him dripping with need.

Your delicate skin as it reddened under his hands.

And your soft abused lips, wrapping around his cock.

He had indeed thought about those, and had shivered in delight.

But that was all this was. You were a good fuck. One of his carefully picked out side bitches. But just because you were his side bitch didn't mean you were allowed to move on from him. He owned you. What the fuck were you thinking? Annoying.

His fingers tightened in your hair harshly positioning your head so you were craning your neck up towards him, lips parting and he rudely took his chance to push his tongue into your mouth, and his other hand placed heavily over your hip pulling you against himself.

Your hands shot up against his chest to try and steady yourself, feeling as if you were drowning in his scent and his heat, his touches, every where.

You hummed softly, hands moving down his torso, over his abdomen and to his button, tugging and pulling at it till it was undond and loosely hanging on his hips making him hum back to you in approval.

His hand moved from your neck to grab your jaw and firmly press your lips together one last time before he let go and press down on your shoulders. Complying he made you bend down and kneel in front of him, pressing your face to his still covered crotch giving you time to nuzzle onto his clothed dick as you looked up at him through your lashes.

"Fuck sweetheart, the things you do to me with those eyes..."

'Makes me want to fuck you raw right now'

You batted your lashes at him as you pulled down his underwear, his cock springing free. You grabbed onto it, fingers wrapping around the base as you licked it up to the head, leaving a kiss at the tip before sucking him in your mouth slowly, a little at a time.

He was watching you so intensely as his fingers raked through your hair, gently gathering the strands out of your face while you reached the back of your throat and swallowed around the head trying to get used to the length in your mouth.

"And you're always such a good girl for me~ you deserve much better than that lousy bastard."

He hissed looking down at you with half lidded eyes, wrapping all the strands he was previously so gently collecting, tightly around his fist, using it to pull your mouth off of his cock before slamming you back onto it and setting a rough rhythm of you slurping around his shaft trying to suck him off faster as he fucked your throat, watching your eyes tear up as you tried to suppress your gag reflex.You hated it. He knew. But you never protested. He knew that too.

"Such a pretty little thing you are, hmm, sucking me off so so good, ngh, god you're so amazing..."

Little praises and groans rolled off his lips as he watched you whimper before pulling you away completely this time, grabbing his dick with his other hand.

"That's enough sweetheart. Now let me take care of you."

"Toru..."

As he lowered you back on the couch, standing between your legs and pulling your clothes off slowly, your hesitation was visible in your eyes.

"Yes, baby? Oh my god I missed hearing you say my name like that..."

"I just... maybe we shouldn't... I mean..."

Your voice was understandably hoarse and your eyes were still watery. He placed his lips over your bare ankle as he gently moved your legs over his shoulders. Your tense posture was making him have no other choice but to throw in his ultimate lowest card.

"Am I going too fast for you, baby? I'm sorry... it's just..."

"What's wrong Toru?"

You watched him curiosity pouring in and mixing with the worry in your eyes.

"I love you so much I find it hard to hold back... but it's okay... I know I can be pushy, I'll stop..."

Your heart skipped a beat as your eyes widened in shock watching his face for confirmation of what he just said. He looked genuine. Ignoring your common sense completely, And as your heart swelled with happiness to your horror he was already pulling away. Your reached out and grabbed his collar pulling him back to you.

"No! Fuck are you... a-are you serious?"

He blinked a few times in confusion before pouting a little.

"What do you mean? Of course I am."

"I l-love you too!"

He smiled and cupped your cheek.

"I know, sweetheart. I know. you don't have to go through with this to show me."

This time he went to remove your legs from his shoulders but you pulled him closer again.

"No, no! I want to... I... uh... I need you Toru~"

His eyes darted from your eyes to your lips a few times opening his mouth to say something but unable to find the words and closed it again.

"Fuck... you have me wrapped around your finger, don't you?"

He smiled as you giggled and nestled between your legs, thumb slowly rubbing your clit through your soaked through panties, making you jerk with a quiet moan. If only you knew what narcissistic pleasure he was hiding behind his seemingly innocent smile. He fed off of the fact that you thought you were in charge while you were just a puppet in his games.

His fingers slipped past the hem and gathered up your running moisture, smearing it back onto your entrance before pushing it back in with his fingers.

You whined and gripped his forearm, melting under his intense gaze as his fingers found their way deep inside you the discomfort slowly replaced by sharp jolts of pleasure as he kept grinding them against your sweet spot, switching between thrusting them or just keeping them inside as far as they'd go and bending them around. As soon as you started clenching around them he pulled them out though, causing a protesting whine.

"No baby girl, not without me."

You felt his tip rub between your folds a few time before he slipped it right in unceremoniously making you gasp and arch your back. He was quick to press you back down into the couch with his body as he layed it over yours, cupping your cheek.

"Sorry, love... my bad. I just can't wait to feel your hot pussy wrap around my dick. So fucking wet for me."

You nodded unable to form proper words with the depth of his thrusts trying to force you to accomodate to his size, as his thumb was running over your lips, pulling it out before letting it pop back in place.

"Oh but you don't need to forgive me. I know you like it like that."

You looked up at him gulping.

"You fucking love it when I go wild with you. You love me when I'm a fucking animal."

His hand wrapped around your neck as his hips snapped up into you, silencing your loud moan.

"You just love being manhandled like this. Such a naughty dirty girl. Hm?"

He started pounding into you, his hand on your throat preventing you from bouncing away from him so you were taking in the full force of his thrusts, only able to mewl and whimper. And sure enough it wasn't long before your eyes were rolling back inside your head from the pleasure.

"You are mine, baby, aren't you?"

He let go of your neck letting you breathe as he slowed to help you come down from your high. Gently laying back over your body running his fingers through your hair.

"Only mine. You know that loser isn't for you... he'll just won't know how to treat you right... he'll screw up again."

It did run through your hazy mind why he was bringing up your ex now but you were too caught up for the moment so you ignored it.

"Do you love me, baby?"

You nodded your head as you wrapped your arms around his neck.

"And you're only mine, aren't you?"

"Yes Toru, only yours."

'That's right little bitch-chan.'

With a fist full of your hair he tilted your head up, exposing your neck to him as his hips started pivoting into you again, deep slow thrusts mixed with his pelvis rubbing against your throbbing clit. He started nibbling and sucking roughly on your neck but with all the other stimulation that was going on you really didn't care as you came a second time, scratching down his back.

He hated it. He hated it when you left marks on him. But it was strangely arousing to him this time.

'One last trophy.'

He had to pull away from you and pull out quickly only to spill his load over your belly only seconds after. He lazily stroked his shaft over your panting sweaty body a few more times before cleaning and tucking himself back in his pants.

"Wow... stay put, love, I got you."

The gentleman he was, he came back with some warm wet tissues, cleaning you up before picking you and taking you to your bed.

"Do you have any idea?"

"What?..."

You looked up at him questioningly as you lay there catching your breath.

'Do you have any idea how easy you are?'

"Do you have any idea how amazing you are? I love you so much."

He smiled kissing you in the top of your head making you smile with a blush but before you could reply his phone buzzed and he glanced at the text before pulling away from you.

"Sorry, I need to take this, sweetheart."

He dialed a number and walked out of the room, leaving you to your own mess of thoughts.

In reality he didn't call anyone, he just left the room to take a breath and think of a plan how to slip out not to be too suspicious. All that was left of his plan was a grand exit. He grabbed a piece of paper and a pen.

He came back in the room a few minuted later already dressed back up neatly, ready to go. Seeing your pout he smiled and cupped your cheek.

"I'll be in touch this time."

"... you said that last time..."

"You know what? I left my number on the table. How about you call me instead then?"

You perked up grinning and stood up to hug him and give him a goodbye kiss. Which he returned before saying goodbye and leaving.

The sound of the door shutting had you remembering the last times and you sat there in silence for a long time before you remembered that you didn't tell him that you loved him back.

Sure enough there was a neatly folded paper on the coffee table next to the couch, you grabbed and unfolded it once finding the number, not wasting a second to dial it.

With the phone between your ear and your shoulder you unfolded the paper one last time.

'We are over, sweetheart. XOXO'

"The number you are trying to reach, does not exist-..."

"Fucking asshole...."

You crumbled the paper in your hand as angry tears started to pool in your eyes, grabbing and staring at your phone screen and the message the operator kept repeating.

Words could not describe how used and how dumb you felt. But your clenching heart and quivering lips could. You wanted to disappear into thin air as the realisation hit you like a train. He was playing you and you sat there doing everything he wanted you to, while he was probably laughing at you the whole time.

You were a good fuck to him. That was all you would ever be. No less but never more either.

The screen had shut off as your phone hung up automatically and in the reflection you could see the dark hickeys running all over the length of your neck.

Of course... it was Toru's parting gift. After all, no one was allowed to move on from him.

The screen turned on as the phone vibrated in your hands with a notification.

'Hey, I hope you liked the flowers. Thanks for giving me a second chance. I swear I'll make it up to you. Are you free tomorrow dinner? I'll come after you :D '

"You fucking asshole!!!"

#oikawa torū #oikawa x reader #oikawa torou #oikawa tooru #haikyuu!!

[staffch]

High school concept movie or show ideas

Adults between the ages of 40 and up. Show stop making shows about high schools. Like few are good, but others are just disappointing. A way they can fix this is by thinking about some of their weird, funny, sad, or happy moments from their high school experience. Especially, if a certain ex-classmate characteristic is something the audience will be interesting to see. Put that in your show!!

Stop making teens sex addicts, one-sided characters, and who are selfish. Instead, write about a story girl who trying so hard to be mentally stable and don’t let her past affect her. Her efforts always ended up damaging. For example, through her ex-best friend's eyes, it seems like the girl trying to manipulate, be the victim, forcing them to like the same interests.

In reality, she is super excited to show her best friend the things she into and wants them to bond over it. If they don't like it, she finds something that blends her’s and their interests. Since this was the first real friend. Certain sensitive conversations that she discusses with her friend might seem like she trying to be persuaded the girl to be on her side but trying to make conversation that will benefit the girl to know more about her ex-best friend side on things. The whole time she wasn't victimizing people but try to blame herself and in pain.

The ex-best friend doesn't like it when she can not stand up for herself. The reasoning behind this having to do with her past. Like her efforts always backfire horrible, and she got tired. Also, the girl is always dating and though she has feelings for someone. The whole time she used to be known as the ugly girl in her past school, people used manipulated her feelings, betray her, and more.

The first time they meet, the girl was worried and scared because she thought the same experience will happen again. The opposite happens, they become best friends. Until a certain situation, the girl was joking around and say something that offends her friend. They ended up breaking up for a bit and people start to be mean (and some backstabbing happens too) to the girl because her best friend was more closer to other girls. Until one day they apologize together became friends again and realize the people were trying to make sure they won't be friends because they were jealous of the friendship and want it.

Her mom was even happy for her because her daughter wants to have a friendship that lasts like her best friend. She even told her this through a call. Little did the girl know, that her best friend thought the mom's words were a manipulative tactic to force them to stay friends.

When they both got to high school. They meet new people and different classes. Her best friend had a new friend and hang out all the time at first they were kinda having some issues. Slowly they become friends. The girl was very happy because she wants some to be there for them when she moved away. When she did move away she slowly realizes they were growing apart but she was happy that her best friend had someone to replace her.

Especially, since she failed to be a best friend later on

Her high school experience like she moved away from her home state or town after her 9th-grade year but she still texts her old friends (she was still friends with her best friend until begin of the 11th-grade year) she meant friends that were using her and don’t understand her. Her first lover was a pathological liar and have everyone wrapped his fingers. The second one (11th grade year)she dated too fast because she knows everyone was starting to leave her behind and emotionally damage so she needs someone to be there for her. Certain things happen that make her completely emotionally damaged.

She tries to replace people with pets but they all ended up dying. Until one stays and emotionally dependent on it. That ends up dying terrible as she watches.

Try to make online friends and almost a relationship with a much older guy because she thought it will be that what she needed. The guy using her for emotional support and confidence boost not, for an actual relationship. She did meet an online friend online that she happy talking to, but her bad experiences stop her.

She making efforts with herself because she thinks nothing matters. No matter what she does it won't matter. People only look at one side of her because they assume the worst of her, but she does that to herself also. Relationships are a way of comfort and to prove herself someone loves her. Trust me she knows her relationship is toxic. Even her friends warn her but the reason she didn't listen but she already knows they were going to leave her.

11th-grade year shows no one understands her and their self-hatred and emotional state got worst every day. Her excitement about college is completely gone because she already knows she won’t receive any scholarships and some people discourage her from her dream. She has “friends” but they just pity her. Summer for her was different. She avoids thinking about her 11th-grade year No one talks to her besides her family.

Her family used to be happy. It's the only reason when she was younger makes her happy because hated school and the people. Until when she got older her family is extremely toxic and very unstable people. She knows they love each other a lot but have little tiny hate too. Her family depends on her to be different from them and push so much pressure by saying she is their last chance to be the opposite of them. Sher already knows she won’t do better probably worst than them.

Her family doesn't understand depression, anxiety, and more mental problems. They always compare the situations to make the person who deals with certain situations not bad, especially if they are younger than them. They have old standards. When the girl's mental health got worst. They just try to argue, say terrible things, used it against her multiple times, compared problems to hers.

She used to have a friend that wasn't her best friend that will help her distract her from the world. They both used to laugh all time, make jokes, talk about her terrible cooking, deep emotional conversations, and much more. (she already met her best friend and became a best friend before meeting her) At first, she thought the girl was manipulative and have a lot of issues. She already experienced that in the past and she was scared as hell. Slowly, day by day they got closed and help each other out. They grow a friendship bond. Sadly, the girl's mental state got worst, and that effect everything. Her past became nightmares for her, family issued making everything worst, the things her first ex say make everything worst. She didn't have the heart to tell her friend so she keeps to herself and try to make the distance.

She isn’t that dumb. She already knows the consequence....that was the point. Both of their mental states got worst and barely spoke.

The reason she never told her best friend private life because certain things she already knows won’t understand and relate to. That was the girl's mistake too.

The girl should be shown as playful, average smart, always excited, clumsy, self-righteous, talk fast about the topic she likes, stutter sometimes because she has too many things to say, talkative obviously. She’s part of the LGBT. Now on to the bad stuff. She has anxiety talking to people in public, thinks lowly of herself, dependent on people, and full of energy that annoyed people. She always quit on stuff mid through, don’t feel like standing up herself multiple time because she doesn't see the point. Love using her Imagination to escape the outside world.

During her 12th grade year, things change for her. Hopefully for the good.

Now, these aren’t my completed thoughts. So some of the parts seem like they might be too a clique or don't seem good because for that reason. At least I try 👍👍

Also, some grammar and more mistake

#storytelling #high school #moive #tv show #character concept

[darwindrawz]

GTFO Team 729 AU fic (no one should read this except Sky)

@skyllion-uwu here it is, sorry it took me so long to figure out how to get it here lmao

Some notes:

- if you are not Sky, please save me the embarrassment and don’t read this. If you do read this, don’t make fun of me for it.

-Tore is Italian-American and has extreme anger issues, Bright is a stuck up ex-spy German asshole, and they both hate each other (at least at first).

-The team is currently trying to find a way to a lab on the upper levels to retrieve a dna sample, but Tore insisted on navigating even though Bright is the scout and he got them lost. Bright then took the map files from him to prevent any further confusion, and they are still fighting about this.

Warnings: lots of swearing, some light angst, Flea being too pure for this world (or the gtfo world I guess)

——————————————————>>

The crackling of the team’s campfire nearly drowned out the screams of sleepers behind a nearby wall, but not enough to put Flea at ease.

He kept one hand on his gun, careful not to let the others see, lest they find out he wasn’t as tough as they all thought he was.

“I’m tellin you, we’ve been headin the wrong way for days now! We’ll never find our way outta this shithole if you don’t fuckin give me the map files!”

He rolled his eyes under his helmet. Tore and Bright were arguing again. Not that it was anything unusual; they were all under stress, and it didn’t help the two’s ongoing feud to be trapped in the same seemingly endless hallway for four days.

“Oh of course, because you know what you’re doing more than any of us do.” Bright snapped back. “Get a grip. You’re acting as immature as that mangy little kid.”

Flea perked up at that. Where was the kid, anyway? He had seen them while they were setting up camp, but now that they had a fire going it seemed that he had skulked off somewhere in the darkness surrounding them.

He stood up, eliciting a glance from Tore and Bright but no questions. “I’m gonna go find...” he trailed off as he realized neither of them were listening, his deep voice muffled by the sound of them chewing each other’s heads off.

“My fuckin rank is “tech”, dumbass! What do you think that means? THAT I’M IN CHARGE OF THE TECH.”

“Ach, verpiss dich!”

“CHE NE DICI DI FOTTERTI?!”

Flea sighed, picking up his gun and stepping into the shadows. Idiots. And he was supposed to be the big strong dumb one.

It wasn’t long before he heard Teeth’s raspy breathing coming from somewhere up ahead in the dingy hallway. Knowing better than to call out to him, he pulled out his flashlight and clicked it on and off several times, shining it at the opposite wall.

There was a pause, and then Flea heard the sound of hurried footsteps coming toward him. Just in case, he put a finger on the trigger of his combat rifle.

“Flea?”

Flea felt his shoulders relax as the kid came into view, holding his helmet in one hand and a nutrient block in the other.

“Hey kid. What’re you doing out here? It’s not safe.” He asked, lowering his flashlight as he realized it was shining directly in Teeth’s eyes.

He barked a gravelly laugh, his sharp teeth exposed. “This whole PLACE isn’t safe. Here is just extra not safe.”

Flea chuckled, shaking his head. Weird kid.

“What are you doing out here?” Teeth asked, spreading his scrawny arms to gesture at the dark hallway.

Flea sighed. “Tore and Bright are-“

“Fighting again.” Teeth groaned dramatically. “Yeah, yeah. What else is new.”

Flea smiled. “Yeah.”

“Hey!” Teeth exclaimed suddenly, making Flea jump. “You wanna see something cool?”

“Uh... sure? Whoah!” He yelled as Teeth grabbed his arm, dragging him into the dark shadow he had come out of at as fast of a pace as he was able.

Well, technically Teeth wasn’t dragging him. Flea was letting himself be dragged by someone half his height, mostly out of confusion and amusement.

Flea couldn’t tell where they were going, but before long he knew they had walked further than he and the others had scouted. The hall looked unfamiliar here, and the screams of sleepers gradually became distant and hushed.

Suddenly, after what Flea judged to be around 20 minutes of stumbling through the dark, Teeth stopped, bouncing on his toes as he grinned up at Flea. “TADA!”

Flea frowned confusedly, looking around. As far as he could see, there was nothing but a dark, empty, grey room with a large pile of old rubble in the center where the ceiling had caved in.

Even if there was nothing, at least there weren’t any sleepers.

He grunted as he felt Teeth’s sharp elbow dig into his side. “No, you big dummy! Up there!”

Flea followed his friend’s gaze, squinting against the light.

Wait, light?

“How...” he murmured in awe and confusion.

Teeth beamed. “Isn’t it great? And it’s MINE, cause I found it. If you climb on top, you can even see the sky-shiners!”

Flea looked down, confused. “Sky-shiners..?”

Teeth nodded vigorously. “Yeah! C’mere, lemme show you!” He said, grabbing Flea’s arm again and “dragging” him up the pile of concrete chunks and metal.

He let go of him once they had reached the summit of the tiny mountain, practically shaking with excitement as he pointed at the hole in the ceiling where the shaft of pale light streamed in. “There! Look!”

Flea took off his helmet, breathing in the fresh air that had somehow, miraculously, found its way to them. He looked up, his mouth falling open in awe as he looked from Teeth to the night sky above them. They must have gotten so lost they somehow ended up in one of the upper levels.

Which explained a lot. Tore had the sense of direction of a blind cow.

“That’s somethin else.” He smiled, feeling peace for the first time in days uncountable as he observed what Teeth had called the “sky-shiners”.

Stars. He means the stars. Poor kid probably either has never seen em, or doesn’t remember what they are.

He glanced at Teeth, who was squinting at the light with a look of pure, unfettered joy on his face. “How’d you find this place?”

Teeth’s face fell and he hesitated, shrugging. “I dunno.” He mumbled. “Just sorta bumped into it I guess.”

Flea raised an eyebrow. “You just happened to bump into a room half a mile away from camp?”

Teeth squirmed under his gaze, picking at the scar that ran across his face without giving an answer.

“Teeth...”

“Alright fine!” Teeth gave in, sighing as he plopped down on the rubble pile cross-legged. “I was tryin to run away, but I got distracted.”

Flea’s eyes widened in surprise. “Run away? To where???”

Teeth shot him a look. “I hadn’t thought that far ahead, ok?!”

Flea stared at him, half in shock and half in sadness that Teeth would just run off like that. They were friends, so he had thought.

He sat down next to him, thinking for a moment before speaking again.

“Why’d you wanna run away?”

Teeth glanced at him. “You wouldn’t get it.”

He scoffed, smiling gently. “Try me, kid.”

His friend sighed, planting his chin in his hands as he stared at the sliver of navy sky above them. “I... I guess I just got sick of it all. Y’know, Tore and Bright fighting, non being able to spit without hitting a sleeper, bein scared all the time... d’you not get tired of all that shit sometimes?”

Flea paused, thinking about his answer. “I do... but we have no other choice. We do what the Warden says, or we’re not around to receive it’s orders. And... even if Tore and Bright are a bit much sometimes, they’re all we’ve got, y’know? You’re all I’ve got. I can’t just give that up.” He finished, smiling passively at the sky.

Teeth was silent for a while, before he burst out laughing. “Wow.” He said in between cackles. “You’re a big cheesy idiot, y’know that?”

Flea laughed. “Maybe. That’s just my opinion though.”

They both went silent for a while, before finally Teeth spoke again in a quieter voice.

“Flea.”

“Mm.”

“D’you think I’m a mutt?”

Flea looked at him confusedly. “What?”

Teeth shrugged, chewing at one of his fingernails. “I dunno. Bright and Tore talk ugly. They say I’m some kinda animal.“

He raised his eyebrows, making a mental note to pound the others into a bloody paste later. “That’s just stupid.”

“Nah. Maybe they’re right. I only got one brain cell, according to Bright. Whatever that means.” He said, flopping down onto his back with a sigh.

“Kid, that’s not true. You might be a little... charismatic at times, but you’re not a mutt. Tore and Bright are the ones with only one brain cell. Whatever that means.” Flea added, smiling at him.

Teeth sniffed. “You’re pretty cool, Flea. Maybe I’ll stick around a while, since you’re not goin nowhere. Besides, how am I gonna prove I got uh... a lotta brain cells if I never see the others again?”

He laughed. “That’s a good point. Maybe you’ll even teach them a thing or two.”

“Yeah.” Teeth grinned.

“Do you want to go back to camp now?”

“Depends. D’you think they’ll be done fighting?” He shrugged.

Flea laughed. “Heh. Never. Maybe they’ll have their panties in less of a twist, though.”

Teeth stood up, dusting off his hands. “Well c’mon then. I got places to be, the team’s not gonna annoy itself.” He joked, looking at an imaginary watch on his wrist and cackling.

He smiled, standing and putting his helmet back on. “Lead the way.”

As his friend took off enthusiastically down the dark hallway, Flea turned and savored one last glimpse of the moon. He missed it; being on the surface. The fresh air, and trees, and no constant petrifying fear of whether or not you’d make it to the next day.

But as he followed Teeth down the twisting concrete passage, and heard the sound of Tore and Bright’s bickering accented voices begin to grow louder, he felt the longing and sadness drain from his weary body. They were his family now, and it was his job to keep them together. And if he was going to die in a dark, filthy, sleeper-ridden shithole, he was going to do it fighting for them.

“Where were you?” Bright asked impatiently, looking up as he and Teeth stepped back into the comforting circle of warmth around their fire.

Teeth snorted. “That’s real sweet, Bright. I didn’t expect you to notice we were gone.”

Flea shot him a silencing look. “We found a way forward.”

Teeth frowned. “We did?”

“Are you serious?” Bright asked, raising his eyebrows.

He nodded. “Teeth found a way to the upper levels. Just where we need to go to get to the labs.”

Bright turned to Teeth skeptically, looking him up and down. “This mutt found a way up that we couldn’t find in four days of scouting?”

“He’s not a mutt.” Flea growled, causing Bright to look back away with a frightened expression on his face. “And yes. Now are you two gonna sit here squawking like an old married couple, or are we going to get out of here?”

Bright glanced at Tores, who flipped him off briefly before nodding at Flea. “Sounds good to me. Let’s go.”

He looked down at his friend, who was shifting uncomfortably under the multitude of eyes locked on him. Flea patted him on the back, smiling even if Teeth couldn’t see it through his helmet. “You’re in charge, kid. Lead the way.”

Teeth grinned, puffing out his chest slightly as the power visibly went straight to his head. “Follow me, assholes!”

Bright and Tore reluctantly followed him as he took off sprinting down the hallway, nearly tripping several times in his excitement. Flea brought up the rear, stomping out their fire as he followed after them, smiling.

Back on the move again, and no sleepers chasing them this time. It looked like everything was going to be ok.

For now, at least.

#darwin said something #thanks for reading this if you got to the bottom! #I would love to hear what you think #I might start a sideblog for comics and stuff if it’s any good #gtfo #my ocs

[cat-in-a-fedora]

Reunion Falls

I think I found something for the reunion falls au of Gravity Falls on the original creator’s blog. The reblog and like functionalities weren’t working for some reason, and I couldn’t find it in the creator’s archive. I really like this, though, so I’m gonna put it here and give credit.

This was originally on @sailorleo, and I couldn’t reblog it for some reason.

`-i dunno, he’s like, really weirdly clingy, but when we’re together all he wants to do is talk about his band…

-dump him.

-dipper that’s the same advice you’ve given me for every boyfriend i’ve ever had

-then why don’t you ask mabel?

-fine, maybe i will. mabel, what do you-

-no actually i think dipper’s right you should dump him

-teen soos playing with baby dipper and getting all excited when he says his name

-it would work better if stan actually knew mabel was coming beforehand, but just couldn’t work up the nerve to tell dipper until the last minute. by some fluke, mabel arrives a day early, and makes contact with dipper while stan is out.

-stan tells dipper that at the time of his birth his parents weren’t expecting twins, and couldn’t afford to take care of two children at once. he only told the kid they were dead because he thought it might be easier to handle than the idea that his parents didn’t want him.

–

-what are you still doing up?

-’m makin’ a sweater for grenda. she’s bigger than me, so it’s taking longer. you had a nightmare?

-no big deal, it was just an anxiety dream.

-a what?

-it’s like a nightmare, but instead of being scary it just makes all your deepest insecurities a reality. grunkle stan says they’re the brain’s way of reminding you that life could always be worse.

-…that sounds dumb.

-yeah, well, life isn’t fair, mabel.

–

-that corduroy girl out sick today or somethin’?

-what? um, no! i was just, uh… i tripped. on a rock. a lot of rocks.

-oh c'mon, kid, you think i never got the snot kicked outta me in elementary school? i know a fist to the face when i see it. c'mere, let’s fix you up.

–

-what can i do, though? they’re all bigger than me, and if i tell the teacher i’ll just look like even more of a wimp.

-ha! if you don’t wanna look like a wimp, you should stop letting other people fight your battles for ya.

-but i can’t-

-now hold on. i know you can’t, you’ve got about as many muscles as a soggy piece of toast. but one thing i know about the world is that guys who were born bigger, stronger, and smarter are always gonna punch down. and guys like you an’ me are stuck right at the bottom like old gum. so if your wits can’t save ya, all there is to do is punch back up.

-….do you mean that metaphorically, or….

-i was wondering when i’d have to dig these old things up again! …see, kid, all I’m trying to say is, when the world fights, you gotta learn to fight back.

–

-oh, shit. we’re not getting anywhere like this.

-*gasp* dipper!!

-what??

-you just said the ’s’ word!

-so? we’re practically teenagers, mabel. we can swear.

-i have friends back home who won’t even say ‘crap’! you must be getting it from somewhere

-i don’t know what you-

-[wendy enters] AYYYYYY DICKWEEDS WHAT’S FUCKIN HAPPENING

–

-ugh, sorry about all that, man. i don’t know why robbie’s always such an asshole to you.

-you don’t think he’s like…..jealous of me, do you?

-HA! ohhhhh my god. oh my god you’re probably right.

-what, does he think I’m gonna like, steal you away? like he’s INTIMIDATED by me? …that feels kinda good, actually.

-oh man, can you imagine? dipper pines, casanova extraordinaire! refined older women such as myself just….COLLAPSING at your feet!

–

-grunkle stan, um…. where are my parents?

-uhh……….. they died.

-oh…. how did they die?

-they………………died.

–

-you know when you’re wearing just the vest without a sweater you kinda look like……. someone. it’ll come to me

–

-mabel, what did you do to the journal????

-what? you told me to pretend it was my diary!

-i said to PRETEND it was your diary, not actually use it as a diary!! you didn’t mess with the stuff inside, did you?

[cut to: a shot of the interior of the journal, filled with stickers and cute little drawings and tiny diary entries about boys and the like]

-…….nnnnnnnope.

–

-if you’re going to be a monster hunter, you’ve got to have a look.

-hey, i’ve already got THAT covered

-no, i mean a look that tells people you mean business. like what i’ve got!

-what’s more businesslike than a leopard wearing sunglasses?

-i can think of a few things. what about like, a jacket? or…. a jacket? something besides a big fluffy sweater.

-listen dip, we’ve only known each other for a few days so i’ll let you off the hook this time. but first rule of mabel? the sweater STAYS.

-ugh, fine, but you’re gonna overheat. hey, what about this? it’s big enough to wear over a sweater. and it’s got pockets!

-but does it have PERSONALITY?

-you can decorate it or whatever i don’t care.

–

-mabel, have you seen my gel?

-nope. why do you gel your hair, anyway?

-i don’t want my bangs to cover my birthmark.

-can’t you just cut them off?

-it’s part of the look.

-ohhh, the 'look’.

–

-soooooo dipper had a crush on you, huh?

-haha, yuuuuuup. he thought he was being super smooth about it too. 100% convinced i had no idea. oh shit, dude, you wanna see this valentines card he made me when he was like, seven?

-you KNOW i do!

-boom! check it. all the blackmail you’ll ever need on one piece of construction paper.

-oh my gosshhhhhhhhh…..wait,  "love, ty"?

-oh yeah, ol’ dipstick used to go by 'tyrone’ before he was dipper. just between you and me, dipper suits him better. tyrone is too cool for him.

-why’d he switch?

-dunno, really. he used to hate his birthmark, people would make fun of him for it, yknow? and then one day he just started being super cool with it. he like, reinvented his entire image around the thing. you should’ve seen him before that though, always brushing his bangs down over his forehead… well, at least he puts some effort into his appearance now.

–

-FUCK!

-KID!

-oh no.

-where’d you learn language like that?

-i… uh….

–…..wasn’t from me, was it?

-n-no! it was from…. nobody! i mean, you hear stuff around, and-

-WAHAHA! this is great! now i don’t have to keep my mouth shut around ya! and it isn’t even my fault!

–

-mabel, take out the trash

-booooooo!

-…aren’t you going to do what he said?

-sure, just as soon as i finish kicking dipper’s butt!

-i will dance on your grave, mabel.

-but…he’s your uncle. you should listen to him before he gets mad, right?

-pff, what’s ol’ stan gonna do, throw his dentures at me? (don’t tempt me, kid) half the fun of being a kid is not doing what adults tell you to do! consequences be darned.

-…paz, really, stan loves us. he’s not gonna like, hit me or anything. yikes.

–

-dipper, seriously, what the heck happened between you and gideon!

-i told you, nothing! he’s just a creep.

-oh, is THAT why he won’t stop talking about you? even on our dates! it’s WEIRD. ….you two aren’t like, exes or-

-ew, no!

-haHA! you dated gideon! gideon and dip-per sittin’ in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-

-we were FRIENDS, okay?? …sort of. i dunno. it was a long time ago.

-heyoooo my drama senses are tingling! now you HAVE to tell me! deets deets deets!

-uuugggghhhhhh fine

-dipper and gideon have been rivals since childhood, but back then it was on somewhat friendlier terms. they would get each other in trouble, start fights over nothing, ruin each other’s stuff, but they would always walk away with smiles on their faces, like an unspoken pact to annoy the shit out of each other forever. but things started to change after gideon found journal 2. dipper didn’t see him around with the other kids as often. his tactics got nastier. he started “winning” more often. things came to a head after stan started teaching dipper to box. one day when dipper and wendy were hanging out together, they ran into gideon, who took the opportunity to tease them mercilessly. when he started going after wendy, dipper socked him, hard, in the nose. “i dunno. i was really mad, but i think i also just wanted to prove i was strong. wendy was always protecting me, so i wanted to protect her back.” after that point, gideon declared them mortal enemies.

-stan and wendy were definitely elated at the fact that dipper punched gideon. stan probably tried to bake him a cake.

–

DOUBLE DIPPER

“BAM! look out party, this girl’s on a mission! and that mission is to find a summer getaway friend group. woah, huddling crowd of teenagers! that’s perfect!”

-paz is talking with everyone listening when mabel interrupts her. “heyo! guess who’s here, it’s mabel, and that’s me.” “…..that’s great, sweetheart.”

-mabel is really excited to make new friends at the party, but most everyone starts hanging around pacifica. mabel tries to make friends with pacifica but paz rejects her, saying “listen, youre new so i’ll fill you in. it might seem like people like you and are interested in you because youre 'quirky’ or whatever, but you’re just a cheap novelty. around here? i’m the one who matters. nobody ignores pacifica northwest. adoring fans?” paz snaps her fingers and the crowd begins to shove mabel out of the circle until she finally falls on the empty dance floor. defeated, mabel shuffles off to the only people not part of the crowd (candy and grenda) “you too, huh?” “don’t worry. when we burn, we burn together.” paz then steps up to the mic and points at them, shouting “hey everyone, check out this adorable new attraction! it’s the reject corner!”

“aww, we don’t need this. the true merit of a partymaster is knowing how to take the party with you. this calls for an impromptu sleepover!”

-mabel offers to cheer up her new friends by ditching the party and having a sleepover instead, candy remarks that they were planning a post-party sleepover together anyway, grenda says how she stole a raunchy romance novel from her mom- wolfman bare-chest. grenda shows off that the book has a full-color illustration of gerard, candy remarks how she wants one of her own, mabel remembers that they have an old copy machine downstairs.

-“i don’t understand. i’m having fun, but i still feel this burning desire to go back downstairs and make her suffer for her crimes. crimes against friendship and partying.” “hey, i know what’ll curb that thirst for vengeance! theft! look what i stole from my mom’s bedside table!” “grenda, you wild girl! this is perfect!” “and it comes with a full-color illustration! his pecs are holographic!” *all three girls scream* “aah!! he is so rugged and brooding, i want to take him home with me and make him my trophy husband!” “ooh, i think we have an old copy machine downstairs! that way we can all keep the poster! come on girls, let’s go make our dreams a reality!”

-the girls end up bringing gerard to life because fuck the laws of reality, he emerges and says “which of you fair maidens brought me into this realm?” candy points to mabel. “girls, i think the party is back on!”

-“hey, fursuit, i don’t know if anyone told you, but this isn’t a costume party. although that would explain YOUR outfit, mabel”, gerard gets angry and tries to defend her by attacking pacifica. pacifica gets a small scratch on her arm and shrieks “are those REAL claws?!” mabel and candy struggle with gerard and finally subdue him (after he loses an arm to the punch bowl) by stuffing him into a closet. “you can come out after you learn to stop being such a butt!!” candy makes some remark about “at least we didn’t make any more!” cut to grenda either using the copy machine or already surrounded by wolf men.

-after the gerard squad starts running wild at the party, mabel gets an idea. “grenda, they’ve already like, werewolf-bonded to you, right? so if you’re in danger, they’ll come and save you!” “..i know what i have to do. hey northwest, be mean to me!” “ok, ok, just… give me a minute. ….hey circus freak, you’ve got arms like a gorilla and a voice like a wrestler, so it’s no wonder that the only boys interested in you are a bunch of wolves!” “…..pacifica, that was really mean.” “YOU TOLD ME TO!!!”

-maybe have pacifica get on the mic again so all the wolves hear her insult

-“grenda I’m sorry you have the body of an amazonian goddess and a voice like ten angels singing one direction!!” “yeah, maybe if one direction were all chain smokers.”

-the girls use this plan to lure the wolfpack into the kitchen, where there’s a sprinkler system connected to the fire alarm. the plan is that once all of the wolves are present, mabel will signal for candy to pull the alarm. however, once mabel gives the signal, it’s revealed that candy has been captured. “i’m sorry, mabel…. their pecs were just so shiny!” “i’m sorry i dragged you into this, pacifica.” “yeah, i’m sorry you dragged me into this, too.” maybe have them cowering on top of the fridge. but just when it looks like all hope is lost, the sprinklers come on anyway. it’s revealed that the first gerard was the one who pulled it, sacrificing himself to save mabel’s life.

-“you will always be in my heart, mabel pines. and i hope…..that i will be in yours…..”

-“well, pacifica, maybe now that we’ve worked together as a team, we can come away from this knowing that our fighting was petty and pointless, having gained a mutual respect.” “are you SERIOUS? all this proves is that you’re a freak, and your friends are freaks, and even though I’m gonna make sure to stay as far away from your little circle of lost causes as possible, the next time we meet? you’re going DOWN, and I’m gonna make sure EVERYONE is watching.” “……welp! i didn’t gain anything from that! maybe next time.”

-“i’m sorry that all this happened, girls. if you don’t wanna hang out with me after this, i get it.” “are you kidding? that was incredible!” “i feel like my heart is on fire! but in a good way!”

-in the aftermath, the girls (sans pacifica) burn the book. as they watch the illustration of gerard smolder, mabel solemnly says “this ends once and for all.” “….my mom’s gonna want that book back.” “once. and. for all.”

IRRATIONAL TREASURE

-pacifica overhears what the twins are trying to do and tails them, then ends up getting captured along with them

-LET ME OUT OF HERE! I AM A NORTHWEST!

-i thought we just established that doesn’t count for anything anymore.

-pacifica yells at mabel for doing something as stupid as leaving a trail of candy wrappers, dipper interrupts to ask her why she always feels the need to shut people down like that. pacifica tells him that its her duty as a woman of status to let everyone know what their place is. “orrrrrr you just feel so threatened by the idea that you’re not as well-liked as you think you are that you need to make everyone else feel bad about themselves.” “WHAT was that?” “threatened?”

-mabel gets her nerve back and yells at pacifica that why would she ever want to be liked by a stuck-up shallow primadonna like her, and throws a hunk of peanut brittle at her, freeing trembly.

-after returning to town, the twins see pacifica being berated by her parents for disappearing and getting her clothes dirty. mabel feels sorry for her and goes over to explain that oh, it was actually my fault, i was trying to uncover dirt on the northwest family and pacifica stepped up to intervene, and we got into a fight. also we totally didnt find anything to shame the northwests so you can thank pacifica for that too. the northwests then threaten to sue the pines family for hurting their daughter, but paz holds them back, saying something about how it isnt worth it to waste time on poor people like mabel.

-this is the start of mabel and pacifica’s budding friendship, and pacifica’s redemption arc

SUMMERWEEN

-hey, little man!

-oh, hey wendy! ….and robbie.

-so….. chilling in the bushes without a costume on? what’s that about?

-nah, i’d say he’s got a pretty solid 'loser’ costume lined up already.

-i’m just hanging out with mabel and her friends, i guess. this big legendary monster thing says its gonna eat us unless we collect 500 pieces of candy but y'know. no worries.

-sick, dude. and you didn’t even have to go out and find this thing yourself? your sis must be like, a monster magnet.

-yeah, she…really is.

-well, i’d help you with the mission if i could, but i’ve got this whole 'aloof teenager’ thing to keep up, yknow? no trick-or-treating for these old bones. but I’ve got a few extra sweets in my purse if you need some more handouts! we can go find mabel, and-

-NO! i-i mean… no, don’t find her, its ok, i got it, give it to me.

-woah, chill out, you little freak! you’re not HIDING from her, are you? …is everything ok? and don’t say it is, because nobody sweats that much when everything’s ok. not even you.

-……i dunno, it’s like, i don’t mind having her around, but we’re always together and she wants us to do all these “twin” things now and I’m just not sure I’m ready for it yet.

-yeah, i getcha. its gotta be a lot to take in. hey, if you need somewhere to decompress after this whole candy deathmatch thing is over, tambry’s throwing a party at her house in a few. text me when you’re free?

-just try not to dork up the place if you show.

-robbie, if you don’t lay off I’m gonna punch you in the dick.

-i just….. twins are supposed to have this special bond, y'know? like a mind meld or something. and i just feel like i’ve missed so much. things could've….should’ve been different. and i came here because i wanted to make things the way they were supposed to be. i thought like, maybe if we were together we could pretend that its the way things always were and everything was ok. but i cant. its not.

-yeah, i… i’m sorry, mabel. everything just happened so fast, and i couldn’t handle it, and i avoided thinking about it, and….i ended up avoiding you, too. i’ve been kind of a crummy brother so far, huh?

-no, no, i get it…. i’m weird, and this is weird, and you’re one of those weird people who likes to be by yourself. and i understand if you don’t want to be siblings. but… can we at least be friends?

-i don’t see why we can’t be both.

TOURIST TRAPPED

-hey, mabel, i was wondering, uh…… how did our parents die?

-woah, what? they’re not dead! are they?? you’re freaking me out, dipper!

-'sup, hambone?

-oh, hey….. soos, right?

-you got it, lil’ dude! so, what’s eating you? besides the mosquitos anyway. nice, good one soos.

-soos, have you ever tried to do something that you thought would make everyone really happy, but instead it just blows up in your face and everything is awful and it’s all your fault?

-story of my life, dude. probably not on this scale though. just a minor everyday occurrence.

-they probably hate me, don’t they?

-what? no way! i just met you a few hours ago and i can already tell you’re like the least hateable dude I’ve ever met. you’re like if they found a way to combine a smiling puppy with an anime fairy princess.

-but i ruined everything!! that’s what they’ll call me in the history books. mabel, queen of ruining everything. everyone was fine until i got here.

-it’s not your fault, dude. mr. pines had to tell dipper at some point. and dude, if it makes you feel any better, i am PSYCHED to have you here. i was telling customers about it all day!

-thanks, soos, but…. i should probably just go home. maybe if I’m gone dipper and stan can just forget this ever happened and go back to normal.

-you kidding, dog? nothing’s ever normal around here. i know this is like, a huge bombshell, but dipper and stan love each other. they’ll work it out. …hey, my brain just came up with a totally neato idea! why don’t we pitch a tent and have a sleepover out here under the stars? we could swap stories, eat raw marshmallows, and if you still want to go home tomorrow morning you can.

-….only if you’ll try to throw the marshmallows into my mouth with your eyes closed.

-deal.

-hey, mom. yeah i got here ok! it’s great, the woods around here are so cool and mysterious! oh, and i met this really cute guy but he turned out to be a bunch of gnomes under a hoodie. i know!! wild, right!

-h-hey mabel….can i….talk to them?

-…oh, mom, dipper wants to talk to you. is that ok?

-….hi, mo- ..mrs pines. it’s dipper.

-“oh, you must be the friend mabel was talking about! she was so excited to meet you! i hope you two are having fun!”

-yeah, it's…. it’s good to have her here.

-“are you all right, dear? you’re sniffling.”

-yeah, i’ve just got a cold. it’s ok.

THE HAND THAT ROCKS THE MABEL

-mabel sees a commercial for the tent of telepathy on tv and gets excited, pulling dipper over to see the famous “psychic”. dipper is annoyed at best and just groans, expositing that he and gideon have been rivals since they were little. he says he’s been trying to catch gideon in the act of something, ANYTHING, for as long as he can remember, and now with the help of mabel’s journal he’s devised a new theory: that gideon might actually be a vampire! he’s always coated in lotion, has stark white hair, speaks like an old southern man, and it might also explain his psychic powers. but dipper isn’t allowed in the tent of telepathy anymore, and he hasn’t been able to get close to gideon in his personal life. mabel offers to go investigate in dipper’s place, but he warns her that it’s not worth it and gideon is a “creep”, offhandedly mentioning that mabel probably doesn’t have the investigative skills necessary to crack the case on her own. determined to prove herself, mabel goes anyway, in “disguise” as a journalist so she can ask gideon questions when the show is over. during the questioning gideon becomes enamored with her, and when mabel asks if he’s a vampire he flirts around the issue, suggesting that he is simply to win mabel over. it works, and she agrees to go on a date with him.

-mabel takes notes on gideon’s mannerisms in the journal while on dates

-over time, gideon begins to reveal his true colors, and mabel realizes that dating a supposed vampire doesn’t really make up for gideon’s behavior.

-actually i changed my mind about the vampire plot, probably dipper just tries to keep mabel away from gideon because of their checkered past together

BOYZ CRAZY

“….can i confess something?”

“yeah, of course.”

“I’ve never like….. LIKED anyone. I’ve dated plenty of guys, and even a couple girls, but i don’t think i felt what i was supposed to be feeling for any of them. i thought that eventually if i went out with enough people, i would start to like at least one of them, but…. i dunno. I’m starting to think that i’ll never fall in love. maybe i CANT fall in love.”

“well… that’s not the end of the world! love kinda. sucks. especially when someone doesn’t like you back.”

“ugh, that’s what I’ve been doing to all these people! for years! i suck. i keep trying to be like everyone else, but i just end up pushing people away. I’ve lost so many friends…”

“hey, it’s not your fault. robbie’s a turd, you know that.”

“yeah, i guess you’re right… i dunno, you ever feel like there’s something, like, fundamentally wrong with you? like something fucked up in the womb and now you can’t ever be a normal person?”

[dipper pulls up his shirt slightly, looking at his binder]

“yeah. i do”

DREAMSCAPERERS

bill: I WAS WONDERING WHEN I’D RUN INTO YOU! QUESTION MARK, SHOOTING STAR…. AND DIPPER OF COURSE!

mabel: whoa, hey, how come soos and i get special names, but not dipper? that’s not fair!

dipper: uh, mabel, that’s not really-

bill: THAT IS HIS SPECIAL NAME, KID! ALWAYS HAS BEEN. HE JUST ADOPTED IT A LITTLE EARLY IS ALL.

dipper: wait, what?. you…you were the one in my dreams? all this time, it was YOU?

-new scene-

dipper: it’s just… the name was a big part of my like, identity, yknow? i thought it was so cool and special and for the first time in my life i was starting to feel NOT like a freak. i thought i was being cool but i was just doing exactly what bill wanted! [pulls his jacket over his head] aaaargh, what have i been doing all this time?!

mabel: di- …..bro, listen to me. your whole like, supreme tough guy monster hunter thing? it’s PRETTY silly. but that’s what i like about it! it’s all you, and you own it! and nobody chose to make you like that but you! and you didnt choose the name dipper because bill told you to, right? that was still all you. so, i don’t know. even if the guy who made it up turned out to be kiiiiiiind of a major jerk i dont think that means all of that is ruined forever. and if you stop going by dipper i’m going to have to start going by shooting star as revenge. star for short!

dipper: ….i think i like you as mabel better.

mabel: aww no, i was already getting used to it! star sounds like the name of a princess, doesnt it? or a galactic warrior!

-BUT DON’T YOU WORRY YOUR GEL-COVERED LITTLE HEAD, KID! I WON’T BE BOTHERING YOU LIKE THAT AGAIN. YOU’VE PROVEN YOURSELF TO BE EXTREMELY DISAPPOINTING AND USELESS. CONGRATS.

SCARY-OKE

-in this case obviously dipper wouldn’t want the agents around, since stan has taught him better than that.

-dipper decides that he’s finally ready to talk to his birth parents over the phone, but when he does they insist that they never had twins and mabel has always been an only child, and he realizes they don’t know who he is. everything he knows is once again called into question.

-mabel tries to get the agents’ help in figuring out the mystery behind dipper’s birth and proving that the two of them are siblings

-maybe dipper raises the dead as a way to threaten stan? like, oh you’re so afraid of the supernatural, what if i do this

-or mabel tries to lure the agents back to the shack by creating a supernatural disaster, like oh, say, zombies

-stan finally admits, with zombies breaking down the door, that he got mixed up with the supernatural and made some very bad decisions, although he isn’t specific about what happened. he relinquishes that he kept the truth from dipper all these years not for his sake, but because he couldn’t bear to admit that he was responsible for separating dipper from the family he should’ve grown up with.

THE GOLF WAR

-mabel and pacifica run into each other at the mini golf course, and after watching mabel sink the winning shot pacifica realizes she has feelings for her. furious with herself for developing a crush on somebody like mabel, pacifica challenges her to a rematch and vows to destroy her.

-dipper and stan are worried about pacifica’s behavior, but mabel assures them that she probably just wants a little one-on-one game and had to disguise it as a fight to the death since her parents were with her.

-pacifica gets to the golf course early to get some extra practice in, discovers the lilliputtians, and decides to use them to win against mabel, convinced that if she proves to herself that she’s better then her crush will go away.

-mabel becomes concerned with pacifica’s attitude and worried that she’s gone back to her old ways, bribing somebody to help her cheat. eventually she’s captured and tied up, and pacifica has to save her.

-in the aftermath, pacifica can’t stomach apologizing, so mabel does it for her. “hold on, dip. i think i know what’s going on here.” “what? no. you definitely don’t. whatever you’re about to say about me is completely and totally wrong.” “so i just want to let you know, pacifica…. it’s ok. i understand.” “understand what there’s nothing to understand” “yes there is! and i’ve felt that way before, too. even about you sometimes.” “wh…..huh? you have?” “yeah! all that pressure to compete really gets to you sometimes. but just because i beat you at something it doesn’t mean that you’re any less cool than you were before., ok? so i don’t want you to feel like you have to prove that!” “oh. yeah. yeah, that. yeah.” [awkward pause] “soooo…. you don’t hate me?” “of course not!” “ok good. that’s like, good to know. i don’t hate you either.”

-theyre playing truth or dare and mabel dares dipper to hold candy’s hand for the rest of the night

-mabifica bullshit: 'let me see those beautiful eyes’, holding hands post-confession in nmm, arguing about whether or not to run off into the woods together at night

THE LOVE GOD

-during a conversation with wendy, dipper casually mentions that he’d like a girlfriend. mabel overhears and decides to try and pair him up with someone. she enlists the help of candy and grenda for this secret mission, but notices that candy seems uncomfortable with it. eventually she admits that she’s had a crush on dipper for a while, and mabel is ecstatic. she conspires to set them up on a date at the woodstick festival. candy makes mabel promise not to tell dipper, but of course she can’t keep her mouth shut and blurts it out while the two are having breakfast at the diner. mabel expects dipper to leap at the chance, but instead he just feels awkward. he tells mabel that although he likes candy and thinks she’s great, he’s never thought of her like that. mabel urges him to give her a chance, but dipper argues that it will end badly. he spots candy nearby, freaks out, and runs for cover. it’s at this point that mabel meets the love god.

NORTHWEST MANSION MYSTERY

-“….and grenda can take a hit pretty well so she’d be the best choice for a distraction while i spray 'em with the anointed water from behind, but we might need pacifica to-”

“actually, dip, i was gonna ask if i could handle this one on my own.”

“what? why? we don’t know how powerful this ghost is!”

“because i, the wonderful mabel pines, am going to confess my love for pacifica tonight!”

“you only realized you liked her two days ago!”

“exactly! no time to waste when romance is afoot!”

“you don’t even know if pacifica LIKES girls!”

“well i don’t know if she likes BOYS either. she always seemed kinda indifferent to-

"even if she does, what if she doesn’t like you back? and you know what her parents are like, they probably wouldn’t want her dating another girl anyway…”

“why do you always have to shoot me down like this”

“…..i’m sorry, mabel… i just don’t want you to get hurt again.”

-“we did it!” “haha, yes!!”

-(internally) “this is the perfect moment, mabel, just go for it!”

-“umm, pacifica? now that we just beat this big scary ghostman together, there’s something i wanted to-”

-“YOU’LL PAY FOR THIS, FOOLISH CHILD”

-“….on second thought, I’m gonna go exorcise screamsville here first.”

-“that’s probably a good idea”

-{“WITCH! SERVANT OF EVIL!”}

-“i’m sorry. i didn’t want you to know this about me.”

-“ok, so, your family’s gotten mixed up in some bad stuff, that doesn’t mean-”

-“no, it does. you’ve always been so nice to me, and i never did anything to deserve it… hanging out with you, and dipper, and everyone, hanging around the shack….i started to realize that this isn’t normal. my parents aren't……normal. and now I’m just so scared that no matter what i do, i’ll end up just like them.”

-“….pacifica. i know you. your outsides may be crusted over with gold coins and expensive body lotion and hairspray, but your insides are made of bubbles and kitten kisses and rainbow dolphins high-fiving each other. your parents are a couple of stinky poo-heads inside and out and you’re not anything like them.”

[pacifica, crying, kisses her]

-“oh no. this was a mistake. I’m leaving.”

-“pacifICA WAIT”

-“what would you say if i said i was in love with you?”

-“i’d say you only wanted me for my money”

-“oh pacifica, your heart is gold enough to last me a lifetime!”

-“shhhhhpsshh stop!!”

-[mabel kisses her on the cheek]

-“no but really stop i don’t want my parents to see”

-“ohhh yeah sorry”

THE LAST MABELCORN

-things start out much like they do in canon, but when mabel meets the unicorn and it tells her that she’s not pure of heart she jumps to the conclusion that bill has “tainted” her in some way by taking over her body. the abuse metaphors here are obvious. she sadly returns home and begs ford to help her in some way, and he takes her down to his study. meanwhile, dipper sets back out with the girls in mabel’s place.

-“…..but it wasn’t me….” “what?” “i…..i have to go.” “mabel, wait!”

have it so like, she’s not necessarily visibly distraught when she talks to ford, or even to her friends, but more determined to “fix” herself, hiding the worry that she’s a bad person beneath her insistence that it must be bill’s fault.

“GRUNKLE FORD! bill gunked up my soul and i need you to fix it so i can be pure of heart again!” “…mabel…” “please please please PLEEEAASE!”

-“no offense, but you break the law daily, you two have kind of a…. mutual violent streak, and you……” “don’t say anything.” “and if being involved with bill really did disqualify mabel, then I’ve been doomed for years.” “you’re also not a 'maiden.’” “good point.”

-“man, this is bullshit.” “i know. how are we gonna find someone more pure than mabel?” “no, i mean. the game’s rigged. nobody’s completely 'pure of heart’ or whatever, and how do you even measure that? that glitter-snorting poser doesn’t ever have to give up the goods because she’s asking for something that doesn’t exist.” “…so how do we get the hair?” “well, i say if princess unattainabelle back there doesn’t wanna play fair, we shouldn’t have to either. alright, kids, who’s ready to add a few more bad deeds to the naughty list?” “YEAH!”

-meanwhile, mabel’s mind begins to be encoded. “i can’t undo what’s already been done, mabel. but i can make it a lot harder for bill to hurt you again.”

-mabel’s thoughts: “do you a favor” “have craz and xyler ever kissed?” “adopt every kitten in the world” “PACIFICA PACIFICA PACIFICA”

-mabel ends up putting the helmet on ford because she starts to have intrusive thoughts worrying that he could be possessed by bill, and she decides that proving herself wrong would put them to rest. “ugh, shut UP, brain! this is why we don’t talk anymore.”

-when mabel reads his thoughts, she freaks out and, unlike dipper, actually succeeds in hitting ford with the memory gun. he’s knocked to the ground and she approaches him cautiously as he rises back to his feet. when he explains that he’s not bill and the gun didn’t work anyway, mabel starts crying and hugs him. “its ok, mabel. you did the right thing. when dealing with an enemy like bill, you can’t fully trust anyone, not even the people closest to you. …maybe if i’d known that when i was younger, we wouldn’t be in this mess now.”

-��….i’m a bad person.” “oh come on, you don’t still believe that unicorn, do you? i thought dipper told you she was full of it.” “no, i… did something really bad today. i thought bill did something to gunk up my heart but it was really just me all along.” “wow, what did you do?” “nn. you’d hate me if i told you.” “mabel, you could kill a dog in front of me and i wouldn’t hate you. and if you don’t tell me i’ll just assume the worst.” “i AM the worst.” “ohhhh my god. …..ok, let’s say that bill did break your soul for all eternity or whatever. so what? you’re still my girlfriend. and in case you haven’t noticed, i’m pretty messed up too.”

ROADSIDE ATTRACTION

-“aww, come on! think about it…. just us girls, alone under the stars…” “eww, fine! i’ll come if you stop being gross”

-“i can’t believe my own sister got a girlfriend before me!”

-“romance ain’t a contest, kid.”

-“…yeah, you’re probably r-”

-“just kidding its definitely a contest. one you’re losing.”

-“he was… flirting with me! i think he actually likes me back!”

-“AAAAAAAAA!!” “get it, girl!” “candy wins!” “i wouldn’t get your hopes up, chiu. he’s probably just being a tool.”

-“pacifica, how could you?” “why must you deny true love?” “hey, dipper’s my friend and i think he’s great, but he sucks. I’m just being realistic.”

-“oh, no. i think i just agreed to take candy out on a date.”

-“….aaaaand do you LIKE her?”

-“well, yeah…………….as a fr-”

-“UGGGGGHHHHHH I KNEW IT. listen, 'dopper’, you got yourself into this mess, and its not up to me to help get you out. you deserve it for toying with a woman’s feelings, anyway.”

“candy…. saved my life. even after i broke her heart. she’s so cool…………………………………oh, SHIT.”

-“it’s ok, dipper. if dating pacifica has taught me anything, its that the way to a woman’s heart is through emotional angst and near-death experiences. and we get those every day!”

-“you deserve this and i have no sympathy for you.”

–

DIPPER AND MABEL VS THE FUTURE

same basic setup, with mabel hitting up all her friends for party plans, but the focus is on having to return home without all the friends she’s made rather than anxiety about growing up (although that’s still a factor). in addition to discovering candy and grenda won’t be around, she also finds that pacifica’s parents are becoming suspicious of her frequent outings so she’s trying to lay low for a little while, so she won’t be able to hang out for the last week of summer.

ford invites dip along for the alien hunt, and doesn’t exactly offer dipper the chance to be his apprentice, but is impressed with his adventuring skills and the fact that dipper has been training in the art of mystery solving for years. au dipper is quite a bit braver than canon dipper after all, and quicker to spring into action right after ford. theres still a bit of hesitation involved, and when ford praises him for his courage, he laughs and remarks that mabel would’ve jumped right away without any thought. ford then confides in dipper that although mabel uses her heart before her head, he can still see how scared she is inside and thinks it would be best for mabel to return home and cease connection with gravity falls, because he’s seen first-hand how much bill has hurt her already and he doesn’t want it to get any worse. he also tells dipper that he can tell mabel’s heart isn’t in any kind of study or quest for knowledge like he is, she’s just a kid having fun, and he can tell that its mostly because she wants to impress dipper and it might be better for her to focus her energy on her own interests, which can’t happen if she stays in gravity falls. dipper reluctantly agrees, saying that he’s always sort of worried about the same thing. of course, this is the part that mabel hears over the walkie-talkie.

for all that mabel and ford’s relationship is better, he still sees her as a child while he sees dipper as more of an equal. he warns dipper that letting mabel become dependent on him, or he on her, is a bad idea, because one day they’re going to have to go their separate ways, and mabel might not be able to handle it (implying that she’ll do something drastic to keep him around, like stan did to him).

theres a scene midway through the episode of pacifica sulking on her bed, hugging a pillow to her face. her mother’s voice calls her for dinner from downstairs, and she groans and gets up. looking in the mirror, she realizes her mascara has run and she scoffs and rubs at her eyes. when she opens them up again, the mirror is full of eyes. “something wrong, blondie?” it cuts off there

after mabel runs away into the woods at the end of the episode, pacifica emerges from the bushes in her full incognito gear, saying she came to warn her about bill. that bill tried to make a deal with her but she refused everything he offered, and that he’s getting desperate and is going to try again with someone else, probably before the summer ends. she tells mabel that if neither of their families want them, they’ll run away, out of gravity falls, together. when mabel realizes she has the rift, she groans, annoyed that she has to go back home and return it. but pacifica insists that this actually makes the plan better, that if they leave gravity falls with the rift it can be kept safer… and that, maybe it would be better if pacifica held onto it, since bill is targeting mabel. mabel agrees and hands it over…. at which point pacifica takes a moment to admire it, and then smashes it to the ground. she laughs, takes off her sunglasses, and is revealed to have been possessed by bill. then the world ends.

WEIRDMAGEDDON 1

-after ford is captured, dipper runs into grenda, as in literally runs into her, while she’s attempting to chase a monster in process of carrying off candy. the two travel together for the next three days, finally deciding to explore the mall in search of mabel and the others. on the way there, though, the two are ambushed by bill’s lackeys. before the fight can begin, grenda tosses dipper out of harm’s way and shouts for him to go on without her while she holds off the monsters. dipper reluctantly escapes, leaving grenda to an ambiguous fate.

-during that time, candy finds pacifica huddled in a pile of rubble, and urges her to come help find the others, but she’s reluctant. “look, mabel’s not here anymore, alright?! she’s gone. bill got her. so you can stop pretending to like me.” “candy does not pretend. not when it comes to friendship.” “….if you just left me here, nobody would have to know.” “on your feet, northwest.”

“augh, my poor hair… it’s got like, twigs and shit in it.” “do you want me to cut it off?” “what? no. why would i do that.” “it’s a symbol! in stories, girls cut off their long hair when they are going on journeys and breaking free, leaving the past behind… it is cool and majestic and– pacifica, YOU should cut off MY hair!” “wait, seriously? …ok, whatever, fine, do your weird impulsive nerd thing. you got any like, scissors?” “let me see….. six, seven, eight pairs! i also have a knife.” “candy, what the fuck.”

-dipper finds wendy, pacifica, and candy all hiding together in the mall. dipper is surprised and relieved to find that candy is safe and she talks about how she bit the monster’s hand to get it to free her, proudly revealing that one of her teeth has turned completely red as a result. dipper admits what happened to grenda, and while pacifica and wendy look worried, candy remains adamant that she’s strong and will be all right. hesitantly, dipper asks if any of them have seen mabel. the room goes quiet, and pacifica confesses what happened, that bill came to her and threatened to possess and torture mabel again if she didn’t let him use her body. she thought that if she agreed, she’d become a ghost like mabel did and be able to use a puppet as a vessel in time to warn somebody. instead she simply blacked out, and when she came to she was just in time to see mabel being sealed in a bubble and taken away.

-at some point pacifica confesses to dipper that bill never threatened to hurt mabel. she made the deal willingly because he promised her that mabel would be able to stay in gravity falls if she let him borrow her body, and she was just so scared of losing her, and everyone.

-candy’s arm is broken in the car chase and ensuing wreck against gideon’s crew. in the aftermath, pacifica uses the remains of her jacket to make a sling.

ESCAPE FROM REALITY

mabeland is nearly the same as in canon, though maybe with some minor alterations to reflect the events of the summer. dippy fresh is replaced by a series of “dream dippers”, versions of dipper that mabel had imagined he might be like before actually meeting him. most are unrealistically cool, but one in particular is just someone who would be the ideal brother, always looking out for her and wanting to be with her. in the end of course, mabel has to look at all of this and decide that real dipper is the one she wants. (theres also a fake pacifica who shares all of mabel’s interests and is hopelessly in love with her, always flirting and offering romantic gestures, but without any of the sass and personality that make her who she is. pacifica ends up snapping her neck.)

mabel introduces the dream dippers one by one like they’re contestants on a game show, but one spot is left empty. dipper asks who it’s for, to which mabel nervously replies that it’s more convenient to have something extra just in case. later on, in the wilderness of mabeland, dipper overhears mabel talking to someone. “i don’t understand. everyone can finally be happy here. wendy can break all the rules she wants and never get in trouble, candy can be herself without people making fun of her, pacifica can get away from her parents, and dipper…. well maybe i can understand why HE wants to leave, since he apparently doesn’t want to deal with me….” suddenly, dipper hears his own voice reassuring her that everything will be alright, and he’ll stay by her side forever, that the summer never has to end. she says “do you really mean that?” to which he replies “of course. you know i’m the best brother ever.” the voice is revealed to be perfect, ideal brother dipper.

crushed by this, dipper retreats to the pond, where instead of being approached by wendy he’s approached by candy. she sits down and asks him what’s wrong, and he tells her how awful he feels that he couldn’t have done better for mabel. she assures him that he’s a wonderful person, and mabel’s being silly for not wanting someone like him as a brother. she then tells him that she was being silly for being mad at him, too, that she’s realized he was right all along, and she should’ve forgiven him earlier. “really? …'cause i was totally with you on the whole 'i was a jerk’ thing.” then candy ups the ante, going on to talk about how oh, he’s so much smarter and braver than her, and she was just upset because she thought she stood a chance with him, but she’s such a loser, she could never- dipper stops her there, worried. he continues to insist that it was his fault, he WAS being an asshole, and he should’ve apologized to her a long time ago, but he was nervous “because…. i DO like you, candy. like, like-like you.” he tells her to stop berating herself, that he likes her because she doesn’t let anybody change how weird she is and that she’s not acting like…. herself. it’s at that moment that he realizes what’s going on. as “candy” begins dissolving into bugs, a fist collides with her head and she explodes. its revealed to be grenda, who managed to find her way in because “the door was unlocked.”

when it comes to the trial, mabel’s memories are similarly flipped through, but instead of having a twin to be there in her time of need, she had nobody. she’s never had anybody like that until she met dipper.

TAKE BACK THE FALLS

-candy and grenda’s symbol is a disco ball. “…and this one could mean a person who can see the fun in any situation! or just a party animal.” “hey, that’s me!” “that’s me too!” “it’s both of us!! SYMBOL SISTERS!!!” [grenda lifts candy up onto her shoulders and they each take a hand, candy on her right side since her left arm is broken and grenda on the left]

-“we’re proud of you, daughter. saving the world will be perfect for salvaging our reputation! i still think those pines kids are a bit of a bad influence on you, though.”

-“oh YEAH? how’s THIS for a bad influence?!” [she pulls mabel into a passionate kiss] “news flash, dad! your perfect daughter’s a big fat gross lesbian! and when i grow up I’m gonna marry this riffraff right here, and change my name to pines too!! so DEAL WITH IT!!!”

stan still loses his memory as he did in canon, but dipper is the most visibly distraught and won’t stop begging him to remember. he tells him how even though they fought a lot over that summer, he loves him so much and he’d never ask for a better grunkle. he desperately tries to jog his memory with baby pictures, but they need to trigger more immediate memories first.

the solution for mabel to stay in gravity falls would be to fabricate a lie that dipper is ford’s grandson, ford being the twin that faked his own death to escape a life on the run, but they’ve just come back to reconnect with the family (since dipper lost his parents apparently), and mabel didn’t want to tell her parents at first because she was afraid they wouldn’t want her staying with an estranged family member/ex-con. but she’s made so many great friends and she loves this town and wants to stay with her “cousin”.

while the northwests go house hunting, mabel invites pacifica to stay at the shack until they can find a new home.

rather than leaving for a new adventure, ford and stan decide to stay at the shack and rest for a while, just settle into their new family dynamic. soos, melody, and abuelita all still move in, and so the house is renovated to make room for the huge family.

with the journals destroyed, the mystery squad now has to start from square one…. but dipper tells mabel that she doesn’t have to do anything to impress him anymore. that he’s ready to try just being a kid again.

#gravity falls #reunion falls #gravity falls au #interesting #i think tumblr might have actually glitched on me

[freeamoebas]

Bill Cipher was awake, as usual, at 3AM.

He absolutely refused to sleep, the idea of entering the plane of consciousness he used to dominate humiliated and (even if he’d never admit it) terrified him. Occasionally, he’d doze off for a couple hours at most, but that was once every couple days. Plus, those precious couple hours of sleep were usually disturbed by nightmares regarding the axolotl, the second dimension, or worse.

Bill was wrapped up in a fluffy blanket Mabel had provided, rereading Flatland by Edwin Abbott. The story was strikingly similar to how the second dimension actually was, with all the rules about shapes, sides, women, etc. The book reminded him of Liam, his irregular brother, and how he read so many illegal books about the third dimension. Odd that a dimension like this would have books about something as dull as the second dimension.

Bill realized it was probably because humans craved the idea of suffering. Or at least the idea of apocalyptic eras. Funnily enough, they didn’t seem to get too big of a kick out of his Weirdmageddon.

The demon’s body froze up when he heard creaks from the staircase. His heart raced, worried it was Sixer coming back to scold him after their little… argument, which resulted in Bill gouging his own eye out after a complete nervous meltdown. Now he had to wear this dumb piece of gauze to cover the wound up.

He found himself pulling the blankets closer around him, as if it were a shield of some sort. He relaxed when it was just Mabel, going to the kitchen to get some water. “Hi Bill,” she said, her voice thick with sleep. “Shouldn’t you be-” She was cut off by a yawn. “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

“Can’t.” Bill held the book close to his chest and warily eyed the girl.

“Why not?”

“Oh, I dunno, Shooting Star, maybe because sleeping wastes ONE THIRD OF YOUR PUNY EXISTENCE, WHICH ISN’T SAYING MUCH CONSIDERING YOU MEAT SACKS LIVE, WHAT, EIGHT OR NINE DECADES BEFORE KICKING THE BUCKET?” Bill’s shrill voice came out louder than anticipated. He hoped the Stan twins wouldn’t wake, he was way too tired to deal with them at that very moment. Mabel simply blinked at the string of words that tumbled out of the demon’s mouth.

“...Does Mr. Grumpypants need someone to stay up with him?”

Bill huffed at that, but made no move to stop her as the teen sat next to him on the couch. She peered over at the book he had still clutched against his chest.

“Yanno, I always see you reading that book. I tried reading it once! It was really boring,” Mabel said, bluntly. She paused for dramatic effect, but noticed the odd, almost irritated look on Bill’s face, and quickly continued. “Why do you keep reading that book over ‘n over again, anyways? I could show you better ones, if you want!”

Bill’s odd expression melted away into something tired and… sad? No way, Bill Cipher’s only emotions were irritating, angry and crazy laughing. Those were totally emotions, at least in Mabel’s mind.

“It makes me feel… nostalgic, I guess,” Bill finally murmured.

“Oh.” Mabel didn’t really know what else to say. How does a dumb confusing book make someone nostalgic? Maybe Bill’s mother- if he even had one- used to read it to him when he was little. That would make a lot of sense, actually. Weirdo.

They sat in silence for a few more moments before Mabel turned to him. “Want me to show you me and Dip Dop’s cool hiding place?” Her mouth stretched into a mischievous grin. She knew Bill had the tendency to hide in odd little spaces. She’d found him in closets, under tables, but usually he’d bundle himself up and hide under the blankets the Pines provided for him. “Blanket town” Mabel had affectionately nicknamed his most common hiding spot.

Bill glared suspiciously at Mabel, clearly not trusting her judgement of what she considered cool. Finally, he shrugged and got up, still keeping the fluffy blanket wrapped around his shoulders. “I literally have NOTHING better to do,” the demon sighed, and followed his ally to a not so trustworthy looking ladder.

The climb to the top was… rigorous, to say the least. Bill nearly fell off the ladder several times, not knowing completely how to put one foot above the other, and occasionally forgetting he had to hold onto the railing. When they finally managed to climb out of the chimney, they sat on the floor of the little flat above the gift shop.

Bill was panting as if he had run a marathon and Mabel was beaming, congratulating him on how well he did.

“Yeah yeah, you don’t gotta BABY ME, yanno.” Bill waved her off with his gloved hand, doing his best to sound irritated. He’d never admit it, but he actually liked Mabel’s pity praises. It definitely beat Sixer’s life lessons about how everything bad that has happened to the Pines family during the past 45 years was Bill’s fault.

Mabel giggled at Bill’s dull attempt at sounding mad and turned her attention up at the starry sky. One thing she adored about Gravity Falls was that there was no more city haze to cover her view of the stars. She could look up, and boom. Thousands upon millions of pretty twinkly dots in the sky, waiting to be stared at.

Mabel turned to Bill. “Do you have any alien friends?” she asked, wiggling her eyebrows. Bill frowned at her, not entirely sure what Shooting Star was implying.

“Sure, kid.”

Mabel gestured for Bill to continue. “C’monnn, didn’t you liberate like… a bazillion dimensions? Tell me about a good one.”

Bill shrugged. “Shooting Star, you gotta remember that what I consider good and what you consider good are LITERAL POLAR OPPOSITES.”

“Okay,” Mabel said slowly. “Tell me about a good dimension… In my standards.”

Bill gave Mabel an exasperated look. He was way too tired to try to remember some puny dimension he had liberated eons ago, especially with his memory failing and all, but at the same time he was way too tired to deal with Shooting Star haggling for a happy story.

“FIIINE,” Bill snapped. He then rested his chin in his hand, trying to think of the best story that would shut Shooting Star up. A small grin appeared on his face and he finger gunned in her direction.

“Did Fordsy ever tell you about GOOD OLE’ DIMENSION 1610?”

And then he continued with an elaborate story about a world where the world hunger issue was solved, the majority of countries allianced with each other under a common socialist society, Bernie Sanders became president, superheroes were real, and much much more. He most of all emphasized how he had influenced the majority of these fortunate series of events, since he wanted at least one good dimension to come out of the countless dimensions he had ruled in the past.

Mabel listened the entire time with round, amazed eyes. Everytime Bill would add a new detail, she would always dramatically react, encouraging Bill to continue.

The story went on for a couple hours at least, Bill staying animated as ever the entire time. When he was finished, the sky was beginning to lighten.

The demon crossed his arms, grinning. One thing that definitely puts him in a good mood was talking about himself.

“So?”

“So…” Mabel’s gaze darkened, giving Bill an extremely serious look, making him worry he said something wrong. “That was… SO FREAKING COOL! And imagine having a superhero boyfriend… Spider-Man… if you’re out there… Why couldn’t you have done that instead of ruining our town?” The girl excitedly rambled.

After a good five minutes of talking, Mabel began to settle down, realizing just how late- or early- it was, and how little sleep she had gotten. She was going to need a lot of Mabel juice today if her and Dipper were going adventuring.

Bill laughed as Shooting Star analyzed his story, with that classic unhinged laugh that always gave her chills no matter how often she heard it. She was a little too tired at the moment to care about just how creepy Bill’s laugh was.

“I just so happen to know a g-” Bill was cut off when Mabel rested her head on his shoulder. His entire body stiffened.

For a split second Bill was tempted to shove the girl straight off the roof, but knew better. Ford would blast his head off without a moment of hesitation. So instead, the demon forced himself to relax and take a few breaths.

He hated being touched, but he realized the only times he’s ever been touched in this new body was when someone was punching him in the nose or yanking his collar so hard he choked. Mabel’s head against his shoulder was… comforting, in a way.

Mabel felt Bill stiffen. She braced herself to have his shoulder yanked away with a snarky comment following. It never came, though, and she let out a small breath of relief.

Mabel talks to Bill the most out of everyone in the Pines family, since she was the most sympathetic. Although, she was very aware to keep a distance, not wanting to be manipulated as Ford had been. Nonetheless, she was glad their friendship had reached a peak from annoying ex-demon living with her family to someone who tells her stories until she falls asleep.

“You know… you’re not that bad of a dude,” Mabel mumbled before her eyelids drooped and she dozed off.

Bill blinked at that final comment, totally taken by surprise. He hadn’t heard someone say that about him in… years. The demon’s heart swelled just a tiny bit, although he wasn’t quite sure what this emotion was called. In the future, he will discover this emotion is called friendship, something the All Seeing Eye hasn’t truly experienced in eons.

#skip writes #bill cipher #mabel pines #gravity falls #human bill cipher #btw this is NOT shippy they are just friends.. and mabel is like 15 U_U

[heymusings]

Things I loved in individual Marvel Movies (FYI...there’s a lot)

Iron Man

The epitome of showing character development within the time frame of a single film through Tony Stark.

Pepper Potts pretty much being Tony’s baby sitter.

Soundtrack

A man who has everything and nothing.

It’s literally just a well balanced action movie.

The fact that is was mostly just RDJ improvising and the other actors having to work with it.

Tony realizing he is part of the problem and finds his purpose in trying to fix those problems, and by doing so working to become a better person.

The fact that Tony is still not a fully realized “hero” at the end of this film-- he still has some quirks to work through and is a little too arrogant.  But this really sets up for even more amazing character development in the next films.

It is a movie of its time-- terrorism and greedy businessmen as the villains.

The fact that Tony and Pepper are not a couple by the end, even when I ship them.

“I am Iron Man”  The instant new trend of not hiding their identity.

Tony: Throw in a little hot rod red.  Jarvis: Yes, that will help you keep a low profile.

Pepper buying herself a birthday present from Tony.

Tony seeing her in the dress.

Pepper “taking out the garbage”-- burn

Tony’s suite tests and Dummy trying to put out a fire.

Tony making the first suite in the cave-- i love that montage

Stane’s moment in realizing how the suite worked-- it’s such a silent but great moment

“Don’t waste your life.”

The acting that takes place in the moment Stane takes the reactor out of Tony’s chest is amazing-- RDJ doesn’t even say anything.

Pepper getting the thumb drive out of the office-- and having the forethought to have Coulson follow her-- Coulson just sitting there waiting (it was oddly funny to me).

The eventual use of the SHIELD acronym

Proof that Tony Stark has a heart.

I don’t have anyone but you.

Iron Man 2

Tony and Pepper kissing for the first time....admittedly the first two films came out at a time when the thing I mostly cared about was shipping.

Soundtrack

Stark clearly still developing as a person and superhero...I love me some character development.

Stark refusing to give the suite

“If your priority was to actually to...”-- Tony questioning governmental control

“I am Iron Man.  The suite and I are one.  To turn it over will be to turn over myself which would be tantamount to indentured servitude or prostitution...”

The Iron Man suit as a “shield”--- interesting.

I love watching Tony in his workshop.

Dummy.

Pepper taking charge several times throughout.

Natasha totally taking out Happy when he assumes she can’t.

Pepper actually coming to like Natasha as her assistant.

Tony dealing with his mortality

Tony: Were you aiming for him or me...I can’t tell!

Happy just ramming into Whiplash with the car over and over again.

I told you I don’t want to be part of your super secret boy band.

Fury and Tony talking about Howard Stark and how he was one of the founding members of shield.

Shout out to the tessaract.

Phil: I will taze you and watch super nanny as your drool into the carpet.  Got it?

The ex wife.

Tony: Hammer tech? Rhodey: Yea.

Two seals fighting over a grape.

Phil leaving to go to New Mexico-- Thor shout out.

“Nice work kid.”

Pepper!!!

War machine and Iron Man working together to beat the iron suites-- I am partial to the shots of them in the Park area

Natasha beating the shit out of all the guys as she makes her way down the hallway...doing so very nonchalantly-- while happy takes on one guy.

Tony: You have a big gun but you’re not the big gun.

Hammer’s shock that Pepper is having him arrested while Pepper just glares at him totally unafraid of him.

Captain America shout out.

Pepper and Tony kiss.

I was here first, get a roof.

Tony: Text book narcissism?....agreed.

Getting the guy who hated Stark to present the award at the end.

“Funny, how annoying a little prick can be.”

Iron Man 3

Tony interacting with Harley  

The question if Iron Man is the suite or the man-- Tony clearly needing to come to terms with the question if his heroism comes from the man or the suite-- and has to do so by accepting his weaknesses.

Tony proving he can still be a hero without the suite. He is a mechanic-- him infiltrating the mandarin mansion without the suite and just a bunch of every day items is amazing.  This film just reminds us that his bad-assery comes from his mind. It is honestly just one of the best Stark moments all around.

Continuity in how Tony is affected by what happens to him.

Pepper coming to the rescue.

The fact that Tony went back for Dummy after his home was attacked.

In the end Tony is sure that even without the suite he is still Iron Man-- You can take away my tricks and toys, but the one thing you can’t take away...I am Iron Man.

The Dora Explorer watch

Honestly, I hate working here.  They are so weird.

Captain America

Agent Carter totally beating the men into place and Steve clearly loving it.

Bucky: Weren’t you smaller?... What happened to you? Steve: I joined the army.  Bucky: Did it hurt...is it permanent?  Steve: A little...so far.

The introduction of the heart of the character-- good man vs perfect soldier

He’s artistic-- this really says something about his character.

The flag bit will not make me laugh.

Peggy Carter...enough said...literally...everything about her.

Steve using the garbage lid as a shield-- I just like the foreshadowing... someone get that man a shield.

I can do this all day-- even when he is tiny and doesn’t stand a chance he doesn’t back down against a bully knowing he won’t win (but he still called out the bully)

Knowing Peggy touching Steve’s chest was technically an honest reaction by the actress-- she was literally so shocked by seeing him without a shirt for the first time.

The fact that I can say, “aw look how cute and little they are,” about both Bucky and Steve.

Steve jumping on the grenade...is this a test?

He’s still skinny.

“You have no idea how to talk to a woman do you.”

“Waiting for the right partner.”

“How do you feel?” “Taller.”

“I could do this all day.”

Peggy making a kill shot on a man that is in a car and at quite a distance.

Peggy non nonchalantly shooting at Steve to test shield, but mostly out of jealousy...and Steve looking ready to pee himself. 

Kid: go get him, I can swim.

The extreme differences in the reactions to the “performance” in the cities compared to the camps.

I really like the leather jacket.

“Where I am going if anyone yells at me I can shoot them”  “Undoubtedly they will be shooting back.”

Fondue

Peggy: You can’t give me orders.  Steve: The hell I can’t, I am a Captain.

Steve: You sure this thing works? Howard: It’s been tested more than you, pal.

Do you know what you’re doing? Steve: Yeah, I knocked out Adolf Hitler over 200 times.

Until the end of the line.

Bucky: You don’t have one of those do you?

Bucky refusing to leave Steve behind.

Cap and Bucky leading the rescued men back to camp.

I couldn’t call my ride.

Bucky: That little guy from Brooklyn that was too dumb to run away from a fight, I am following him.

Bucky: I am visible, I am turning into you.  This is a horrible dream.  Steve: Don’t take it so hard.  Maybe she has a friend.

Bucky’s face of pure confusion after realizing Peggy wasn’t going to give him the time of day.

The subtle development of the friendship between Howard and Steve.

Bucky’s sniper skills.

Bucky: Remember when I made you ride the Cyclone at Coney Island? Steve: Yeah, and I threw up.  Bucky: This isn’t payback is it?

Bucky: I had him on the ropes.  Steve: I know you did.

Any time Bucky and Steve work together-- it just comes off very natural.

Bucky wielding, if only for a moment, the Captain America Shield.

Peggy and Steve’s kiss

I am not kissing ya.

Steve’s sacrifice.

Steve being able to think coherently enough to recognize that something is wrong when he wakes up by realizing the baseball game is too old.

The shot of Steve on a modern New York City.

“I had a date.”

Captain America Winter Soldier

The opening running scene (rather than something more actionesque-- and the banter that builds as Steve continuously passes Sam... this also really sets up the fact that this is a film that concentrates almost solely on characters (despite having great action sequences).

On your left....two passes later...Don’t say it.

Steve’s speech over the intercom, “...It’s a price I’m willing to pay.  I may be the only one...but I am willing to bet I am not.”

Steve in glasses.

The Winter Solider-- his knife skills....the clear progression throughout the film as he becomes more and more conflicted.

“I am 95, I am not dead.”--- I need more information about this line.

“Does anyone want to get off?”

Natasha and Steve as a team-- Steve becoming more trusting of her

The fact that of any movie he could have watched after waking up Steve watched “Saw”

Steve/WS hand to hand battle

“This isn’t freedom; this is fear.” (Steve seeing Shield as a bully...he doesn’t like bullies)

Steve’s progressive realization that the power of the individual to make choices is more important than orders from an entity that may have ulterior motives.

Falcon/Sam treating Steve like a regular guy and just developing a loyal friendship that I appreciate.

 WS catching Steve’s shield with one arm.

Until the end of the line.

Bucky/WS’s murder walk.

Nat: Where did Captain America learn to steal a car? Steve: Nazi Germany, and we’re borrowing, take your feet off the dash.

It’s really not your style Rogers.  Steve: You’re right, it’s not, it’s hers (then commence Nat still trying to find Steve a date).

Captain America Civil War

Bucky noticeably uncomfortable when he first hears the sirens, then his relief when they pass him and the immediate return to being on edge when he notices the man looking at him from across the street.

So many reminders that Bucky’s nature is not toward violence.

Steve confronting Bucky in his apartment only for Bucky to run, trying so hard to avoid a fight...but the fight that happens I love, especially in the stairwell.

Bucky going after the reactor of the Iron Man suite-- noticeably not going for killing blows during the final fight and despite Tony full out trying to kill him.

How tired and sad Bucky sounds when he tells Cap, “It always ends in a fight

Wanda: You guys know I can move things with my mind right.

Wanda: You were pulling your punches.

Steve’s talk with Wanda about doing and saving who you can and that it doesn’t always mean everyone.

Tony managing to disarm the greatest assassin with nothing but a gauntlet while wearing a three piece suite.

Steve’s clear conflict regarding his friendship with Tony and willingness to forgive him at the end.

Wanda’s relationship with both Clint and Steve... I wanted more of this.

Steve understanding the dangers of the accords more than Tony (based on experience)-- and the importance of his message, “you can’t save everyone,” but you can save the majority.

I admit...this movie got me so worked up about how Tony wants so much to start pushing away the blame for even one lost life that he becomes so willing to place all the responsibility on a governmental power rather than the individual (as Steve believes) even at the cost of putting targets on the back of his friends/allies.  I will never not be shocked at his shock when he talks of Wanda as a weapon or his shock when they put them all in prison. But I also love that I got so worked up about this-- it makes for a great watch.

“No you move.”

Bucky and the motorcycle-- wow, that was not only cool...but it was really, REALLY hot.

I can’t control their fear-- only my own.

I retire for like what five minutes and it all goes to shit.

You want to mope go to high school.  You want to make amends, you get off your ass.

I can’t, but she can.

You locked me in my room.

Bucky being totally done with all the weird stuff going on around him.

“I can do this all day.”

Geez, Tony.  How old is this guy.

Bucky moving in front of Sam to protect him from Spiderman.

You couldn’t have done that earlier? (I hate you.)

Can you move your seat up. (No).

“You don’t deserve it-- My father made that shield”-- he sounds like a child trying to defend himself and his actions.  Steve dropping the shield and taking Bucky is pretty much him winning the fight-- taking the higher ground-- good man vs. good soldier being reiterated here.  The shield doesn’t take away from Cap’s strength at all-- what made him a hero is his heart, the fact that he is a good man and he doesn’t need the shield.  This is something that Tony is still learning and coming to terms with in his developmental arc.

This is the first time that we see Tony truly angry during his first with Steve-- he is being driven by his instincts to get revenge at that moment-- he is devastating but it takes away from one of his strengths-- thinking things out.

Tony is in the wrong regarding his trying to kill Bucky, he even practically admits it when Steve attempts to get him to see reason, “I don’t care, he killed my mom.” Tony is in the wrong and yet Steve still understands Tony’s feelings, yet he can’t let Bucky die even from someone he calls a friend-- this just makes for good emotionally intense conflict that is matched by the actual physical conflict.

Steve: He’s my friend. Tony: So was I-- this line literally emotionally devastates both characters.

Steve: I can do this all day. (Cap refusing to back down to protect his friend).

Tony losing because of one moment Bucky helps Steve simply by providing a seconds distraction.

Natasha being there for Steve at Peggy’s funeral

Tony trying to appeal to Steve’s past in order to get him to sign the accords using pens from Howard (one for each of them) and Steve’s response, “Some would say it bought us closer to war.” What a way to immediately set up where these two stand.

The idea that there are two sides to “right”-- Steve concentrating on moral and Tony being a realist... it really calls in to question which side you agree with most, and I love that.

Steve: If I see a situation going south I can’t ignore it.  I wish I could.  Tony: No you don’t.  Steve: You’re right, I don’t.

Tony clearly trying to use the accords as an excuse to help him stop because he keeps finding excuses to not stop even when he wants to for Pepper

Did you know?-- the fact that it finally is made clear that Steve is not perfect and is willing to lie.  He has reasons, but I think it is great to realize the contrast between the legend of perfect Captain America and Steve Rogers.

Steve realizing that the accords are similar to what Shield was doing in trying to deter war using fear/threats/control before it happened (which never works)-- Steve’s, “She’s a kid!” vs Tony’s, “She’s not a U.S. citizen and they don’t grant visas to weapons of mass destruction!” is really Steve’s break away from any possibility of him signing the accords. 

Tony’s greatest fear of being alone coming to pass as he is left at Avengers headquarters alone.

Steve: Where you from kid? Peter: Queens. Steve: Brooklyn

Tony never really seems to truly agree with the accords (not only does he also break them) on a moral level and he seems haunted by it throughout the film, while Steve is made stronger by his decision because he is sure of his position 

Tony: I am trying to keep you from tearing the Avengers apart. Steve: You did that when you signed-- how upset Tony is vs. how calm and matter of fact Steve is (who is surer of themselves?)

Thor

Frigga and Loki’s relationship

Darcy... she needs to be around more in the other movies.

Not that it’s a favorite thing, but I am honestly always confused how Thor is so hero worshiped when he’s kind of a dick at the beginning, and then when Loki starts doing similar things that Thor did he’s the bad guy (not saying he should have done them...but double standards and hypocrisy abound in this movie).  The more you watch the more you realize that everyone treats Loki like crap... like wow, they were all lucky Loki loved Thor and his family or he would have done something much sooner.

Loki’s manipulations.

Sif: I did.  Thor: True, but I supported you.

“ What happened, silver tongue turned to lead?”

Loki’s entire storyline.

Sif.

Loki using magic and daggers-- his fighting style is so interesting, wish we saw more of it.

“Go home little princess.” “Damn”

Loki being touched by the frost giant.

Loki more actively protecting the warriors three and Sif on Johtunheim than Thor.

Loki’s face while listening to the argument between Odin and Thor.

Darcy: Does he need CPR, because I totally know CPR.

Darcy: Yeah, we can tell you’re hammered, it's pretty obvious.

Jane: I grazed him, but she tasered him.  Darcy: Yes, I did.

The number of times Jane hits Thor with a car.

Loki’s confrontation with Odin and the pure emotion that Hiddleston portrays in that moment.

Thor’s new found love of pop tarts and coffee

Next time you decide to taser someone make sure he’s already in the car.

Jane and Darcy’s reactions to Thor’s attractiveness.

“I used to know this scientist.  I pioneer in gamma radiation.  SHIELD showed up and I never saw them again.”

The first introduction to Hawkeye...being told to grab a gun but taking the bow and arrow instead.

Barton: You want me to slow him down sir or are you going to send in more guys for him to beat up.

Thor: You’re big- fought bigger.

Barton: I am starting to root for this guy.

Science Fiction as a precursor to science fact.

Science Fiction is just science we don’t understand yet.

My realization that even as early as the first Thor film Thor and Loki’s earth fashion sense was already very much established- high power businessman vs. “very comfortable/casual”-- symbolic, maybe.

The fact that Loki as a villain is perfection-- he is a match for Thor, he is personable, his motivations are similar but he has different methods, and you can see some reason in them.

Donald Blake shout outs.

Loki going from being rather meek at the beginning compared to his second return to Johtunheim to strike a deal with Laufey.

The fact that Loki clearly had no intention of letting Laufey kill Odin.

Heimdal’s learning that Loki is a better sorcerer then he was given credit for and can cloak himself even from the gatekeeper.

Thor and Jane bonding over science/magic.

We got xena, Jackie chan and Robin hood.

“Found you!”

“Is that one of Stark’s?”

Thor’s sacrifice- I love the drama of it.

Thor’s powers being returned- again, very dramatic.

So this is how you normally look-- it’s a good look.

Loki: I never wanted the throne! I only wanted to be your equal.

Thor pinning Loki just by putting the hammer on his chest.

Loki: I could have done it, father!Loki’s look of devastation when he is again rejected by his father.

Thor Dark World

Ta Da!

Loki totally ignoring the chaos of battle around him as he reads a book.

“I like her.”

You’ll what? Kill me? Evidently, there will be a line.

Loki: Now they’re firing at us.  Thor: Thank you for the commentary Loki, it's not at all distracting.

Loki and Thor teaming up and using Loki’s magic in battle... I would have loved to have seen more of this team up happening in the films

To be honest, the only real saving grace of this movie was Loki... which I can get behind.

“I didn’t do it for him.”

Loki lecturing Thor about his escape plan and Thor pushing him out the open hatch in their ship.

Loki being revealed on the throne.

“Oh dear, is she dead?”

“I think you missed a column”

Loki’s reaction to Frigga’s death.

Loki’s look after having yelled at his mother.

Frigga attempting to make Loki’s imprisonment comfortable, she will never not see him as her son.

Who put me there! (There are so many levels to that statement and the acting is amazing).

Thor Ragnarok

Soundtrack

The whole play that Loki had written for himself and his pure enjoyment of it while pretending to be Odin.

“Beg your pardon?”

“You had one job. Just the one.”

“I am not a witch.” “How come you dress like one?” “Hey (offended).”

Thor’s powers

“I’ve been falling for 30 minutes!”

Hela-- love her-- a little anti-climatic ending.

Loki’s epic eye roll.

“Oh shit.”

Thor totally fangirling over Valkyrie.

Thor’s story about when he and Loki were 8 and Loki pretended to be a snake before stabbing him.

“It’s in my brain now”

Thor being full out God of Thunder and the soundtrack during the scene is amazing.

“I am not doing get help.”

“Do you have a better plan?” “No.” “We’re doing it.”

Loki cheering the Hulk smashing Thor.

Loki using his daggers again...I still wish we got to see more of that.

Your savior is here.

“I saw you coming.”  “Of course you did”

“I’ve never met this man in my life.” “He’s my brother.” “Adopted.”

“I’m here.”

Avengers

There is something I greatly enjoy about the shot of Loki being taken in shackles down the hallway of the Shield based-- he definitely still feels in control even then.

Learning to become a team and not just automatically being a well-oiled machine.

Tony and Bruce’s science bromance

There will always be men like you.

Loki: I am listening.

Tony: Doth mother know you wearath her drapes.

Fury: 10 bucks says your wrong...Cap paying up on his bet with Fury.

Cap’s simple response: You should have left it in the ocean.

Avengers theme

I’ve got red in my ledger, I’d like to wipe it out.... the whole scene between Loki and Nat and the changing power dynamics during it is simply great writing and acting. And the end line of Nat’s being, “Thank you for your cooperation,” to show she came out on top in that battle is extra awesome.

She turns out not be another pretty face--- and then Natasha proceeds to annihilate them single-handed

Coulson calling Natasha through her targets phone then arguing with him on the phone that she’s too busy working, while also being tied up.

Natasha being convinced to leave her mission by being told Barton was compromised.

Bruce is on the run but still trying to do good.

Mark Ruffalo as Bruce

“No its won by soldiers”...fade into Captain America’s first intro in the film.

Tony: Like Christmas, but more me.

12% of a moment.

Tony: his first name is agent.

Pepper:  Is this about the Avengers initiative...which I know nothing about.  Tony:...I didn’t qualify for.  Pepper: I didn’t know that either.  Tony: Apparently I am volatile, self-obsessed, don’t play well with others.  Pepper: That I did know.

Phil and Pepper being chummy with each other...I would have enjoyed more of this.

Coulson totally fan-boying over Cap.

Coulson: I watched you while you were sleeping.

Natasha:  I thought Coulson was going to swoon.  Has he asked you to sign his trading cards yet?  They’re vintage, he’s very proud.

Bruce:  They want me in a submerged pressurized metal container? (sees its actually going to take flight instead) Oh no, this is much worse (in complete sarcasm).

Cap immediately accepting Bruce.

How obviously uncomfortable Bruce is upon first going on the helicarrier surrounded by people.  Such good acting.

Cap: Mr. Stark. Tony: Captain

Fury: Ant, meet boot.

Stark needing entrance music to confront Loki.

The near instant tension between Cap and Tony after capturing Loki.

Loki: I am not overly fond of what follows.

Cap: Stark, we need a plan of attack.  Stark: I have a plan, attack.

Loki: I remember a shadow, living in the shade of your greatness.

Tasha: He’s killed 80 people in two days.  Thor: He’s adopted.

Cap: I knew that reference!

Hill: When did you become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics.  Tony: Last night.

Tony: I am a huge fan of how you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster.

Tony: An intelligence organization that fears intelligence? Historically, not awesome.

Bruce being uncomfortable naming the Hulk and calling him ‘the other guy’

Bruce looking so uncomfortable during the first act of the film

Tony and Cap bringing up phase 2 at the same time in two different ways-- action and intelligence.

Tony: I am sorry Nick, you were lying.

Bruce: I am not leaving just because you get a little twitchy.

Tony: How is this now about me?  Cap: I am sorry, isn’t everything.

Cap: You may not be a threat but you better stop acting like a hero. Tony: Like you?  Everything special about you came out of a bottle. (pretty much this entire conversation)

Cap: put on the suite let’s find out.  Tony: I am not afraid of you old man. (explosion) Cap: Put on the suite.  Tony: Yep.

Cap: It seems to run on some form of electricity.  Tony: Well, you’re not wrong.

Loki: Are you ever not going to fall for that?

Phil: So that’s what it does.

Man: You an alien...no...well, then son you’ve got a condition.

Tony: He wants a monument with his name plastered...son of a bitch.

Thinking he is going to die wants to call and talk to Pepper.

Tony: We have a hulk.

Tony: We may not be able to protect the earth but you can damn well be sure we’ll avenge it.

Cop: Why the hell should I take orders from you.  ( Cap destroys some aliens...cop then immediately obeys orders.)

Bruce: That’s my secret... I am always angry.

That epic Avengers assemble round shot.

Barton not even looking while he makes a kill shot.

Fury: I recognize the council as made a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision I’ve elected to ignore it.

Hulk saving Tony

The “A” left on Stark tower.

Avengers Age of Ultron

The reaction of the Avengers when discovering Barton’s family life.

The fact that Barton has a normal family life.

Language.

Please be a secret door...yay!

Tony: Good talk.  Random Hydra Extra: No it wasn’t

The teamwork in the opening scene

I somehow found myself shipping Nat and Bruce.

“A great deal of complaining and tales of torn deltoids.”- Thor

“He’s the boss”- Tony about Cap

“He’s fast and she’s weird” - Maria Hill

“What kind of monster would allow a German scientist to experiment on him in order to protect his country?”- Cap to Hill

“Unlike you, I don’t have a lot of time...will...Thor be there”

Sam: following cold leads on our missing person's case (Bucky).

“He’s also a huge dork...chicks dig that.”- Natasha flirting with Bruce by describing him...then Cap totally shipping them.

Cap: I’ve seen her flirt up close...As may be the world’s leading authority on waiting too long...don’t.  Bruce: What do you mean up close?

The team trying to lift the hammer.

Cap: Together.  Tony: We’ll lose.  Cap: Then we’ll do that together too.

Black Panther references

Tony admitting that watching his friends die is not as bad as watching them die and he doesn’t.

Tony: I cracked into the Pentagon when I was in high school on a dare.

Cap: I really miss the days when the weirdest thing science created was me.

Barton: You’re no match for him, Captain.  Cap:...Thanks, Barton.

Natasha: Cap, keep them occupied.  Cap (out of breath): What do you think I’ve been doing?

Wanda....everything Wanda

Wanda: Ultron can’t tell the difference between saving the world and destroying it; where do you think he gets that?

Vision handing Thor’s hammer to him like its no big deal.

No one listening to Pietro so he comes back with a gun...”get off your asses.”

Cap: You get killed, walk it off....you didn’t finish....what were you napping.

I actually never realized just how snarky Steve is in this movie.

The teamwork between Thor and Cap is awesome.

Wanda’s entrance as an Avenger...YES!!!!!

Cap: We are not clear...we are really not clear.

Pietro: Keep up old man.  Barton: No one would know...no one...last time I saw him Ultron was sitting on him...quick little bastard.

The fact that the above line was improvised by Renner.

Thor:...I am running out of things to say....you ready.

Pietro’s sacrifice. Wanda’s reaction after feeling it.

Barton names his son after both Natasha and Pietro.

Cap and Tony arguing that Vision picking up the hammer doesn’t count...and an elevator is also not worthy.

Wanda: I’ll protect it (looks at Hawkeye). It’s my job.

Vision: He’s right, he hates you the most.

Hulk having an obvious soft spot for Natasha

Natasha opening up to Bruce about her past.

Tony: Like the old man said, together.

Natasha: Still think you’re the only monster?

The whole idea of what makes a monster and how many people view someone else or themselves as a monster is so interesting and play a huge role in characterization.

Steve refusing to leave the flying city as long as there was even one civilian left there... Nat agreeing with him, “There are worse ways to go.”

Fury’s entrance and Steve’s, “Fury, you son of a bitch.”

Avengers Infinity War

Cap’s entrance by walking out of the shadows

Tom Holland’s improvising his death scene.

We don’t want to kill you, but we will.

Earth just lost her best defender.

Wanda being a complete badass-- she literally destroyed a stone with one hand and held off a nearly fully powered Thanos with the other

Caps glorious beard.

“I see you copied my beard.”

Strange seeing only ONE possible win in thousands...then giving up the stone... we’re in the endgame now...it was the only way.

Shuri making Bruce feel like an idiot.

Someone get this man a shield.

Steve and T’Challa running to the front of the battle line.

“I hope they remember you.”

Bucky alive and well

You speak groot...it was an elective.

Bring me Thanos!!! (In fact, the entire scene of Thor arriving to join the fight is cinematic gold)

Thanos on the farm-- yes, let them reiterate he won...like wow... you don’t get that much

What was she doing up there all this time?

“She’s not alone.”

Loki revealing the tessaract...trying to take Thanos on alone...and getting in one last jab with, “You will never be a god.”

Quill attempting to mimic Thor’s voice.

Rabbit

Any interaction between Thor and Rocket

Rocket engaging Thor in a meaningful conversation to comfort him-- such a huge growth is seen in his character.

Quill: What kind of weapon are we talking about here.  Thor: The Thanos killing kind.  Quill: Don’t you think we should all have a weapon like that.

“Stop messaging his muscles.”

Thor: Your bodies crumble as your minds collapse into madness.  Rocket: Is it weird I want to do it even more now?  Thor: A little bit.

Thor: He’s never fought me.  Rocket: Yes he has.  Thor: He’s never fought me twice.

It will kill you.  Thor: Only if I die. 

I’m way past asking for permission.

The 50% of me that’s stupid, that’s 100% you.

Rocket being picked up by Bucky and both continuing to shoot.

Oh, I’ll get that arm.

Thor being heartbreakingly optimistic and hiding his pain behind a smile until Rocket asks, “What if you’re wrong?” and Thor responds, “What more could I lose?” and Rocket’s, “I could lose a lot.”

The snap...”Oh god.”

You should have gone for the head.

You’re an Avenger now.

Peter: I should’ve gone home but it was such a long way down... If anything it’s kind of your fault that I am here. (Tony’s face is great)

Tony: The kid has seen more movies.

Tony and Thanos’ confrontation.

The adults are talking.

Steve giving his all to hold back Thanos with his bare hands and Thanos’ face of momentary confusion that a single man could hold him back even for a second.

My constant wondering what the result would have been if Tony and Cap were together in any of the scenes-- they work best together despite their contrasting personalities.

Doctor Strange

An arrogant man being forced to reconsider his world view and grow

Strange’s reaction to killing a man is perfect for the character but also just great acting from Ben.

Strange being called Master Strange and not wanting the title and being very adamant about not wanting the responsibility

Refusing to kill and being called a coward for it, but refusing to budge from his belief which results in a very interesting and wholly creative end battle... and fully earning and owning the title of Master.

Strange: You lack imagination.  (No you lack a spine).

Dormmamu, I’ve come to bargain.

A hero actually using an infinity stone.

Say what you want about this film but I honestly think it has a great character arc for Strange.

The cloak.

Strange’s jokes.

Strange using astral projection to learn more.

The Incredible Hulk

It was better than the first one...remake it with Mark Ruffalo and we’ll talk.

Guardians of the Galaxy

Soundtrack

Introduction to Star-Lord

The mugshot line up and jailbreak

“You said it yourself bitch, we’re the guardians of the galaxy”

Dance off distraction... also perfect part of his characterization.

Quill trying to get Gamora to join in on the dance off.

The circle moment where Quill first becomes emotionally open and asks for help-- ending with Rocket’s “We’re all standing now.”

Peter coming to terms with his mother’s death as signified by his finally opening her final gift to him.

We are groot.

Rocket’s commentary while on the public while tracking down Quill

Rocket: What’s a Racoon?  Quill: You are stupid.  Rocket: Ain’t no thing like me except me.

Rocket’s bed fur.

Gamora: You must be joking.  Rocket: No I really heard they find you attractive.

Let’s just say I really like Rocket.

Quill: A bomb? And you just leave it laying around? Rocket: I was going to put it in a box.

Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2

The Guardians team...this movie was pretty disappointing in most areas but I did enjoy the interactions among the characters.

Ego brainwashing Quill through so much of the film to convince him that he is above his team and be swayed to Ego’s side

The bodies of Ego’s children reveal

Yondu being revealed to be the hero and the real father figure

You look like Mary Poppins...Is he cool....Yeah... I am Mary Poppins y’all.

Peter’s discovery of the cause of his mother’s death-- that moment is amazing cinema

Ego: You are a god...if you kill me you’ll be just like everyone else.  Quill: What’s so wrong with that? (aka being perfect doesn’t mean shit)

By the end, the Guardians become a family.

Rocket and Yando interaction... they’re both assholes that care.

Rocket’s shock that the colors shined for Yondu in his death... Quill accepting and sharing in Rocket’s pain in that moment.

Spiderman Homecoming

If you’re nothing without the suite then you shouldn’t have it.

The car intense car scene-- amazing cinema there

Peter: Come on Peter...come on, Spiderman. 

Training wheels protocol

If you even cared you’d actually be here.

The adult is talking.

Peter is pretty bad at keeping his secret.

MJ reveal

Peter deciding to continue being the friendly neighborhood Spiderman for a while longer.

Happy having kept a ring on him for years.

Peter speaking revealing he can understand and speak Spanish when the shop keeper talks about Aunt May.

Ant-Man

The father-daughter relationship is adorable.

“I hope you don’t catch him.”

My days of breaking in and stealing shit are done.  What do you want me to do? (I want you to break into a place and steal some shit.)

Scott as a father.

Ant-Man and Wasp

The montage of what Scott does in his spare time while under house arrest.

Again...father/daughter relationship.

The fact that Scott and Paxton go from viewing each other with low opinions in the first movie to seeing each other like family... it's so healthy.

Black Panther

Killmonger’s entrance into the throne room and very nonchalantly stating that he wants the throne before demanding to be asked who he is and letting it rip.  The calm to intense anger is awesome.

This corset is really uncomfortable so can we wrap this up and go home?

What are THOOOSSEE?!

Everyone is shooting at me...wait let me put on my helmet.

Okay...let us just assume most of this list would consist of the wonder that is princess Shuri.

“Americans”

Great another broken white boy for us to fix.

T’Challa’s growth as a character by coming to understand the world differently through Killmonger’s actions.

The fact that T’Challa and Killmonger actually want similar things but come into conflict by their complete opposite ways of going about accomplishing their goal.

Stand up, you are a king.

The fact that T’Challa surrounds himself with females rather than men as his most loyal, fierce, and intelligent people.

Killmonger and T’Challa sharing a sunset and having a moment of understanding before Killmonger’s death.

The truth behind Killmonger’s reasoning and goals.

“Would you kill me, my love?”  “For Wakanda?  Without question.”

You can’t blame me, I almost died.

The moment I believe T’Challa became king: You were wrong! All of you were wrong!  We let the fear of our discovery stop us from doing what is right!

.....I’ll add more, I’ve just been working at it for so long as I rewatched the films I am just posting it now and will add on later

#things fangirls say #marvel #mcu #captain america #tony stark #iron man #black panther #spiderman #guardians of the galaxy #thor #loki #film #doctor strange #avengers #text #steve rogers #bucky barnes #natasha romanov

[peachximagines]

I Fall Apart

Warning: Angsty, sexual content, swearing

Pairing: Female!reader x Calum 

Word Count: 2.6k

A/N: this is my first requested writing :) Requests are open, feel free to use my ask box. Thank you @idekxhood for the request!

Request: “Hi idk if you do requests but if you doo can you do one for me with Cal where him and the reader have been broken up for a few months and the boys invite her over and she gets emotional seeing Calum and she’s crying or whatever and they end up making out or sleeping together and then they get back together? Idk I thought it’d be cute but if you don’t do that type of thing it’s cool ☺️❤️”

The break up was cordial. If that’s what you call slowly drifting apart and then finally sitting down to end things that already felt over. We both decided that since he is going on tour, it was best that Calum and I broke up. It would be hard for us to see each other, we already saw each other so little as is. Nothing in me wanted what we had to end. The increase in tour prep drove a wedge in the time we had together. I had deadlines, he had pavement to hit. Our love life just wasn’t in the cards. I tried to ignore the ache in my chest every time I watched an interview or heard Youngblood on the radio but nothing could stop the yearning my soul had for him. I did still keep in touch with Luke though. Talking to him throughout the “grieving” period. He kept tabs on Calum telling me he was okay, telling me he was doing the same for Calum. I would get occasional, “he loves you, talk to him” advice from the boys, but I never took it.  Getting almost daily calls from Luke was a constant, but what I didn’t expect was an invite.

“Just a little get together, some drinks, some friends.” I bite at my raw cuticles, thinking of all the reasons this would be a bad idea. “Yes, Calum will be there but you were our friend before you two dated. That can’t change, dude.” I hate how right he was.

“What time should I be there?” Luke lets out a victory cheer.

“Get ready now, come now, Sierra and I miss you.” I smile at his enthusiasm, promising not to take too long and hang up. I breathe out, clutching my phone tightly in my hands. One night, a couple of drinks with my ex and his best friends couldn’t be bad. I shakily text my group chat, telling them about my poor decisions. A flood of messages telling me to dress to impress vibrates my phone to the point of a mini earthquake in my hand. I shuffle to my bedroom, looking through my closet for an outfit the screams, “I totally didn’t listen to Lie to Me on repeat and cried on my way home from work!” A casual pair of ripped jeans is my choice of the day. I grab a black crop and settle on leaving my hair in its natural state. I add lipgloss and a tiny bit of highlighter before leaving the house.

The drive to Luke’s house felt too fast and too slow all at once. I park next to a line of sleek fancy cars before making my way into the house. Classic rock blasts from the house, causing the mahogany door to tremble. I text Luke, making him aware of my presence. Not too long after I press send, the handsome blond man whips open the door. Falling into his arms felt like taking your bra off after work. The fucking best. He squeezes extra tight before pulling away.

“Y/N! I haven’t seen you in forever, how the fuck are you?” The slight smell of alcohol off his breath explains his overzealous behavior. I grin, loving every minute of it.

“I’m great, how are you and the Mrs.?”

“Speaking of the devil,” I turn and see Sierra. She’s an actual goddess. I rush into her arms, feeling her grip. For such a petite girl, she hugs just as good as her gargantuan boyfriend. I go to ask her about herself but then he and I meet eyes. Calum takes a swig of his beer. He starts making his way in my direction. I feel my smile falter.

“Y/N.” He says. I give him a tight-lipped smile. “It’s been a while.”

“6 months, Calum.” I nod, turning away from him in search of alcohol. A pit grows in my stomach. Anxiety and sadness fight in me, trying to see who will make me feel worse. I scan the area for an escape route, spotting people in the kitchen. Ashton talks to Jack over the island in the kitchen, bonding over some music. I grab a beer from the cooler, joining the boys. I down the slightly chilled beer, wishing to wash away the feelings I had in me. Ashton averts his attention to me.

“Hey beautiful, how are you?” I finish off my beer in a few too little chugs. “That bad?” I nod, whipping my mouth with the back of my hand.

   “I didn’t think seeing him would feel like this, yet here I fucking am.” I reach for another beer. I crack it open, drinking it down quickly.

“Maybe you should slow down, lightweight.” Chills go down my spine, inching across my arms. I lock eyes with him, wishing to be angry or even slightly annoyed. I couldn't do it. Seeing him again was like taking a dive off the diving board. I knew what jumping would entail, but I can never calculate the feeling of your stomach flipping over and over. I honestly thought I could kind of handle this. Being this close to him, smelling the Nautica cologne I gave him for Christmas, seeing the necklace I gave him for his birthday. His entire appearances reeks like the ghost of our past and I feel like the Scrooge.

“Fucking bah humbug,” I grumble, pushing myself out of my seat, taking large steps to reach the bathroom.

“Y/N!” Sierra calls out for me but I ignore it. I don’t want to cry in front of anyone and ruin the mood. I thank the heavens and hell when I reach Luke’s master bedroom, locking myself in the bathroom. I slid down the door, clenching my eyes shut. Finally, I allow the dumb tears to fall. I pull out my phone, shooting an “I was wrong” text to the group chat. I just need to get this crying out the way and drink my sorrows away. That was my plan until I heard knocking at the door. Sierra was too sweet.

“Sorry Si, I was just really-” I unlock the door, opening it up for Calum. He looks nervous and I want to kiss him more than anything. I back up, going to close the door again. He sticks out a fresh bottle of beer.

“Peace offering?” I take it, my fingers gently brushing the tips of his fingers. His fingers. I shake myself out of the thoughts that start and allow him to come in the bathroom with me. I sit on the edge of the tub while Calum sits on the counter, leaving an appropriate amount of room between us. I drink the beer, watching him carefully from the corner of my eye. He doesn’t speak. He just watches me. His jaw was clenched, allowing me to see every tendon and muscle below his beautiful brown skin.

“I didn’t mean to upset you, I just don’t know how to be around you,” Calum shifts, his jeans rubbing against the light ceramic counters.

“No worries,” I shrug, “let’s forget about it.” The heavy silence makes me want to scream.

“So what, you’re just going to act like nothing happened?” The question sounded accusatory. His voice cracked slightly like he was close to tears. I scoff, drinking more of the beer. “Like we didn’t break up? Like the reasons we broke up don’t exist?”

“You were the one who pulled away, Calum. I was there as much as I could be.” He shakes his heads, his jaw never relaxing.

“No. You weren’t there. You were working more than me, staying late, leaving early. You avoided me.” Calum slides off the counter, leaning against it. His muscular arms crossed, his eyes squinting.

“Avoiding you? I was building a career for myself, just like you were doing. ” I stand up from my relaxed position, “Except, you were the one who left Calum!”  

“I had a tour! I promised to call, every day! I never broke that.” His face started pinky around his cheeks, his eyes slightly widened with anger.

“That’s fucking rich. I needed you while you were at home, not on tour.” I tip back the beer, taking the rest down in one gulp. “You should’ve tried when we together, not when we were falling apart.” I step away from him, my head swimming. WIth my back now to Calum, I pull on the door, hoping for a hasty exit.

“You promised,” He choked out, voice breaking. His gaze was shifted down, eyes filled with tears that were so fucking close to spilling. “You promised we’d be together. I fucking loved you. I still do. I write songs about the love we had. I write songs about how I fucking feel because you left me.” He sniffs, fiddling with the bottle cap.

“Calum,” I start, letting go of the door handle.

“What changed, huh?” He wiped a tear from his cheeks. “What made you stop loving me? You said it, we’d be together. You promised me, so what changed?” I shake my head, tears of my own accumulating.

“Nothing, nothing fucking changed.” He finally meets my eyes, a sob escaping my throat. Tears streamed down his face endlessly.

“We were more than okay, baby. We were in love.” Calum steps towards me, grabbing my wrists tenderly. “We wanted to get married.”

“Cal, please,” I want to pull from his grip, scream at him for bringing every feeling I had for him back a tenfold.

“I fucking love you, Y/N.” The sincerity, the passion is all too much. The sobs leave my mouth in choppy hiccups.

His arms wrap around me like they belong there. Because they do. Calum belongs with me, against me, holding me.

“I’m so in love with you, more than anything.” I grab his damp cheeks, pressing our lips together feverishly. People always say that when you kiss someone after a long time, it feels like the first time. This was nothing like our first time. This feels rushed, desperate just to be touching. Starved for each other. Calum brings a large hand up my spine pressing my chest even closer to him. Our lips separate, Calum starts making quick work of kissing anywhere he can reach. My neck, my chest, my collarbones. His mouth was all over me and I needed him. I needed him physically, mentally and emotionally.

“Please,” I whimper out, not knowing what I was even begging for.

“Sh, baby. I’ve got you. I’ll take care of you,” the feverish kisses slow down, light airy ones sprinkle my skin. His kisses were the dictionary definition of love. He makes quick work of lifting me onto the counter, pulling my crop top off of me in record time. I smile at him, teary-eyed but in love. He looks beautiful. The soft yellow light of the bathroom is forgiving on our sob wrecked faces. Calum looks like a fucking prince.

“I’ve got you,” he whispers gently against my jaw. His breaths were short and frequent against my skin. I wanted him to pull me in and never let me go. “Just tell me you love me, baby, let me hear you.” His fingers trail the inside of my thigh, inching closer to where I need him. I go almost completely lax, letting my head gently thud against the mirror. Calum takes the opportunity to lick his way down my chest to my tits, sucking a hickey in cleavage view.

“I love you Calum,” I whine softly, spreading my legs for him a little more. “I’m in love with you.” He moans against my skin, the vibrations arousing me even the slightest bit more. I squirm a little, pressing my crotch against his hand.

“Gimme more,” I beg softly. Calum licked his lips, nodding and tugging down the zipper of my too tight jeans.

“I’ve been wanting to get you out of these since I saw your pretty ass walk in baby.” It takes longer than necessary to shimmy out of the jeans. As Calum finally yanks them off, he trips falling onto the floor. I gasp.

“I’m fine!” He scrambles up, cheeks pink with arousal and now in embarrassment. “All good in the Hood.” he winks while I groan in annoyance, pulling him back to me kissing those stupid lips. With only my panties as a barrier, his touch was intoxicating. HIs fingers play with my pussy gently, keeping on the edge without giving me what I wanted.

“Calum, please,” I beg, pushing his hand harder against my core.

“Six months baby, six months,” he growls it into my ear. “I went six months without touching my girl’s pussy so I’m gonna take my fucking time. Be good.” I want to come just from his words. Our lips meet again, the same hunger returning. Like Zeus himself answered my prayers, Calum pushes his middle finger deep in me. I gasp, missing the solid feeling of being just slightly full. I rub my pussy his hand, trying to gain even a bit more friction. He was barely doing anything and god damn it felt so delicious.

“That’s it, baby, I told you I’d take care of you.” The weight behind his words was more than just sexual. I nod wantonly, rolling my hips against his hand. “Can I put another finger baby? Would you like that, beautiful?” I nod, needing more from him. Anything. The feeling of two fingers slowly consumed me and I could’ve just came right there. His thumb toys with my clit softly, jolts of pleasure hit me every few seconds. Calum’s mouth returns to my tits, while his free hands rubs himself through his jeans. The familiar build of tension forms in my stomach.

“Cal, please I’m so close.” He moans while sucking on my chest. His hot wet mouth on my skin, his long fingers rubbing it was enough to push me over the edge. I came hard, choking out his name like it was the only thing I could think of. My thighs trembled as his fingers picked up the pace, another wave of my unfinished orgasm hitting me harder giving me the pleasure that I’ve been missing. Slowly, he pulls his fingers out from me, promptly sticking them in his mouth. I watched with my mouth slightly agape as he licks his fingers cleans. I smile, pulling him closer by his waistband, sliding a cautious hand down the front of his pants.

“Not gonna last long, princess. Probably gonna cream myself just from you touching me,” I bite my lip, not too bothered with the idea. I work my hand over his cock, keeping it in his boxers. His eyes flutter shut, his hips start thrusting deeply against my hand. The view of him was something out of a porno. His cheeks were flushed, his hair was in his face. His eyes were squinted, just enough to stare at my hand but still get lost in the pleasure. His grip on my thighs tighten.

“Come for me, Cal. I fucking wanna feel your thick cock come all over my hands.” I kiss his cheeks, the warm skin slightly salty. “Please, I want it so bad.” I kiss his parted cherry red lips. His tongue pushes its way into my mouth. I swallow his groans as thick white spurts cover my hand. His groans were rough and jagged like he hasn’t come in a while. I whisper soft praises in his ear, rubbing a little more. I pull my sticky hand out his pants, quickly running it under warm water from the sink. Calum chuckles, pulling my body against his, kissing me like it was all he wanted to do.

“I know shit’s fucked right now,” he swallows, still a little out of breath, “but we can do this baby. You and me against the world.” I kiss his cheeks, the warm pink skin familiar as my own skin.

“You and me against the world.”

#calum x reader #calum x black!reader #calum hood #calum hood imagine #peachximagines #angst #/angst #/swearing

[jocelynships]

I’ve been thinking a lot about how I got into Marvel and how at first it was just a silly little obsession and how it turned into something that ended up meaning so much to me.

So, I apologize for this sounding so sappy and for how long (it’s really long and I apologize greatly) and emotional this gets, but here:

Warning: Talk of past mental abuse and thoughts of self-harm/suicide

So here’s the funny thing, when I was between the ages of 10-13 I wanted absolutely NOTHING to do with Marvel. Everyone was talking about it and I will admit I was a bratty kid and if something was popular I had to Hate It™️. I’ve grown from that mindset and I’m SO glad I did. But anyways, not the point of the story.

When I was a little kid I watched the first Spider-Man movie with Tobey Maguire and Fantastic 4. I watched a lot of Spider-Man cartoons too. I can’t remember if I ever watched X-Men or not, but I remember seeing them in a few Spider-Man episodes. My dad liked Marvel and he’d play the movies (this was all pre MCU I should mention) and I think I’d watch bits and pieces of them while I played with whatever toys I had in my parent’s bedroom or living room (when I was a kid if my dad was home I HAD to be around him). So I had a VAGUE understanding of superheroes and who they were. I’m certain I could have named a few of them when I was younger, I just didn’t necessarily care.

So Avengers came out when I was finishing up 8th grade, and all my classmates were talking about it, but it annoyed me greatly. My best friend, Rebecca, had seen it already, and was freaking out about it with some of our other old friends. I made a comment like “is it really good or are you guys just trying to be cool like everyone else?”

And Rebecca goes, “Jocelyn, you really need to see it. I think you’d actually like it.”

“Superheroes are so overrated!”

“At least watch the trailer!”

So Rebecca pulled up the trailer on her iPod Touch (god I feel old just saying that), sat me down at one of the benches by the basketball court our tiny private school had, and I watched the trailer. I was kinda interested, but not totally sold. I decided the guys were hot, and if I would go if asked.

Then when I got home from school, I was looking for something to watch like most kids were. Nothing was on, but Disney XD was playing some Marvel cartoons and out of simple curiosity and not really liking anything else that was being played, I turned it on. And holy shit I ended up getting hooked.

So a few days later after watching these cartoons I suggest seeing Avengers to my dad. He gets this look on his face like, “who the hell are you and what did you do to my daughter because she hates superheroes?” He asks me if I’m a Marvel fan now and I mentioned the cartoons, so he went and rented the movies leading up to the Avengers, and I wasn’t actually expecting to like anything, I just wanted to see it because I thought the guys were hot.

So I ended up really enjoying the movies, and my dad and I started seeing the other MCU films that came out. I told myself I was only interested in the Avengers and Spider-Man really (the Amazing Spider-Man came out the same year as the Avengers and my dad took me to see it). I told myself didn’t really care about any of the other hero teams.

BUT THEN I GET INTRODUCED TO THIS REALLY COOL FACEBOOK MARVEL GAME! They sadly don’t have it anymore which in my opinion is BULLSHIT, but it was called Avengers Alliance and they had a shit ton of characters in it. My goal was to get them all but I never did bc it got shut down (listen I would kill to have it brought back okay THEY HAD A BUNCH OF X-MEN CHARACTERS) But basically I saw all these characters I had no idea existed and me being me, my mind went “I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM”! I really don’t know everything about them and I’m still discovering characters but that’s okay!! The Marvel universe is HUGE and I love learning new stuff about it!! But anyways back to my original point!! I remembered I really liked the Fantastic 4 when I was younger so I started watching the original two movies again (I haven’t seen the 2015 remake nor do I plan to ever). Then I saw we had the first two X-Men films, okay lets watch those. Oh, who’s Daredevil and the other Defenders? They seem cool!! Ghost Rider? Hell yeah, a skeleton on fire how cool is that?! Agents of SHIELD? I loved Phil Coulson, I had to watch it! Hey, the Guardians of the Galaxy are really cool too! I know nothing about Doctor Strange but he was in some Spider-Man cartoons and he seemed awesome! Blade, a vampire that doesn’t sparkle? SIGN ME UP!

Basically from the time I was 14-17, I was just basically running down an aisle at a grocery store picking out characters I thought looked cool. I also learned a lot about the characters from some mobile games I downloaded bc hey, I like games.

But at the same time as I was going through everything, I started developing some extreme anxiety and depression problems. I didn’t exactly realize it WAS anxiety and depression, I just thought I was extremely sensitive and did a bunch of shit wrong, so I assumed I was just a screw up whenever my mother yelled at me for getting a B in class or blamed me for her being late to work when I was ready to go and she was just getting in the shower. It wasn’t until my senior year did I realize something was wrong with the way she was treating me and the way I was feeling. But again, I brushed it off as nothing.

I went through my senior year feeling anxious and depressed a lot. But I was a SENIOR! I was almost done with high school! I had a great group of friends and we’d hang out on the weekends and go off campus for lunch to the Taco Bell down the road! Things couldn’t be bad!

But tensions were rising high at home. I was sort of oblivious to a lot of it and to be honest, I’m a little upset with myself for not noticing it sooner. My parents were fighting a lot, and halfway through my senior year of high school, my sister and niece had to move in with us because her ex husband was an alcoholic and was getting abusive. (She ended up going back for about another year, but left permanently the second time she moved in with us) And needless to say things were really rough since there was now five people in a two bedroom apartment and my sister and my niece stayed in my room with me. Which was difficult since my niece was 4/5 at the time and had quite the temper, and I was also her favorite person, yet I was occupied with school work.

My anxiety and depression got worse, and it got to the point where I was having meltdowns in class and would have to leave school early or just stay home. After a month or two and a HUGE fight between pretty much everyone (except me, they only stopped when I had a massive panic attack), my sister moved back.

And things were slightly okay again. During that break I got reintroduced to X-Men through a couple different things: my best friend, @rosyinlove, X-Men Apocalypse was coming out, and my brother gave me his old Xbox 360 and the game Marvel Ultimate Alliance. I’ve seen the first two movies at this point and I was already kinda curious about them, but wasn’t until that year did I realize “hey these guys are kinda cool!” So I played as them in Ultimate Alliance just because they were the most fun to play. And while he sadly wasn’t a playable character, Nightcrawler was a character and you had to rescue him in a quest (or kill him and save Jean instead, I had a dilemma over the very idea of killing him and this was BEFORE I started shipping with him!) and he fascinated me. IDK if it was my brain just liking him as a character or going “WHOO BOY HE’S HOT”, but my interest in him was growing and I was kinda sad he wasn’t a playable character!

And with Apocalypse coming out the day after I graduated high school, I decided I had to see it, so I impulsively bought the other movies and well... the rest is history. I started watching the cartoons and while I didn’t get my hands on any comics, I read bits and pieces online.

And for some reason, the X-Men just spoke out to me in a way I can’t explain. I loved all the other heroes I came across, but there was something about the team of mutants that really pulled me in. Maybe because I related to the fact of being outcast? But in any case, I was drawn to them and I latched onto them and just didn’t let go. Even when 70s and 80s pop culture was the main thing on my mind in 2017, I still had the X-Men in the back of my mind and I thought “oh hey, this song reminds me of the X-Men”, “Kurt would like this song”, or “omg this movie would be a cute AU for me and Kurt!”

But anyways, the summer of 2016 was kind of rough. My mother was getting onto me for every single little thing and even yelled at me in front of my friends once for asking her to bring some some soda after she OFFERED to get us some. My friends pulled me aside and said, “hey, that’s not normal”. And I was in a really bad place. I loved my mother, but I felt awful being around her. I felt like I had to walk on eggshells around her. If I said the wrong thing I’d be punished. I was afraid of her.

So I noticed whenever I got anxious or depressed I would turn to the X-Men movies and cartoons and I’d feel a little better. Then I started writing dumb little stories and made silly doodles of me hanging out with them. It was something that was fun and made me calm down when I was getting anxious.

Then August of 2016 came around.

I came home from spending the night at a friend’s house, and I was feeling really tired so when my dad asked for me to sit down and talk to him about something, I tried brushing him off because I just wanted to shower and go to sleep.

But he said, “it’s really serious” and whenever someone says that my anxiety shoots through the roof and I think of the worst case scenario, such as someone was dying or was dead. So I sat down with him and I’m expecting him to tell me someone was dead, but he just goes:

“Your mother and I are splitting up.”

Basically my world came crashing down at that point.

My mother started getting more and more irritable and began yelling and screaming at me over the smallest things. And she was convinced I was going to stay with her and she talked to me about all her plans she had for us, but I was going to move out with my dad. But I didn’t want to tell her because I was terrified of how she was going to respond (she lashed out when things didn’t go her way), and I said, “I still haven’t made up my mind on who I’m going with”. That still caused her to lash out.

So she screamed at me and told me things like “I was leaving her to die” or “I was a horrible daughter for abandoning her”. And from that she just lashed out over everything. Not to mention my sister and my niece moved back in that September.

So my mother was constantly fighting with my dad, berating me, and my sister and my niece never gave me any alone time despite being in my first semester of college. I had very little time to work on homework and would stay at school for longer than I needed to be there just to work on homework without my sister and my niece bothering me. And I also got stuck watching my niece quite a bit because my sister was running off with a guy she had just met. And I get that she was going through a really rough divorce as well and really liked this dude, but it happened every night. I needed an escape from it all.

So I started binge watching Marvel movies and cartoons every chance I got. Mainly X-Men. I fantasized often about Kurt bamfing himself and the X-Men into my apartment, sternly telling my family I was going with them and they couldn’t stop them. I wrote and drew more and more of my silly self insert stuff because it was a way to forget about all the bullshit that was going on at home.

Eventually things just got worse as the time for my dad and I to move out got closer, and my mother would start up fights with my dad just about every night. And she did this when I was in the next room and could hear everything. She also got physical with him and while my dad could have easily defended himself and fight back, he didn’t because she was trying to get him fucking arrested.

So I was having difficulties dealing with their constant fighting and my mother trying to pull me into the middle of the drama. My dad told her to keep me out of it since none of it had to do with me. Needless to say she kept pulling me into the middle of things and tried to get me to side with her and would scream her head off if I didn’t want to talk about it. I got called selfish for having anxiety and depression, and she threatened to hit me on multiple occasions. She never did, but holy shit I got so scared every time she held her hand up like she was going to smack me across the face. I showed up to class crying quite often and when my classmates asked what was wrong I’d brush it off and tell them it was nothing. 

And as time went on I had falling outs with everyone on my mother’s side of the family and both of my siblings (I have made up with them separately, but things are tense between them still because they don’t like each other’s spouses and it stresses me out because they shit talk each other to me and I have to act like I’m on their side), and my dad and I were struggling and I felt like a huge burden on him. Needless to say it got to the point where I felt like I was doing something wrong, that everyone would be better off without me, and I wanted to end it all.

I actually did go to grab a knife once when no one was home bc I was having urges to hurt myself, but the instant I grabbed the knife a little voice in my mind just went into panic mode and screamed, “Captain America wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself!”

And then that voice kept listing off as many heroes as it could, and when I started thinking about the X-Men not wanting me to hurt myself, I just dropped the knife into the sink and had a breakdown.

And still to this day when I do get those thoughts I always think about how a certain fuzzy elf wouldn’t want me to hurt or kill myself. I haven’t cut (I have participated in other self destructive behaviors in the past I don’t wish to discuss, but I’m fighting it), and honestly it’s because I don’t want to worry the X-Men.

They may not be real, and I’m not sure they would really care about me if they were, but still the idea of having a group of people who also come from fucked up families and are outcast from society acting like a family to each other really helps me get through all of this.

I just keep telling myself that if all these superheroes could go through hell and back, then so could I. Sure, I’m not fighting villains hellbent on taking over the world or struggling with having superpowers I can’t control, but still it’s inspiring to see them continue on despite their hardships. If they can do it, then why can’t I?

And the X-Men have really helped me through that. Like I said, they aren’t real, but they are extremely relatable characters. Especially Kurt. I’ve been outcast before and while I do have my group of close friends, I still feel like I don’t belong. He’s been outcast and shunned by society for his appearance. While both of Kurt’s parents are awful and my mother didn’t try to kill me (to be honest I was afraid she was going to snap and kill my dad a couple times), we both have kinda fucked up familes. But despite all of this we still try to see the good in others and do good for people. And I want to help him through his hardships and have him know he can always come to me for comfort.

When I started the Night Roses and the Jocelyn and the X-Men stuff, a lot of it was coping. I wanted to be rescued by Kurt and the X-Men, and I wanted to help them overcome their issues. A lot of the Night Roses relationship is being each other’s support system. The idea of not only having Kurt comfort me, but me comforting him helps me so much. It gives me something to live for. When I was going to therapy, I told my therapist about it and she said it was a great coping mechanism and a way for me to practice self love and acceptance.

And while he’s just a comic book character, I sincerely hope I can find someone just like Kurt in real life one day. He means so much to me, and I hope whoever I get with in the future will understand that.

I apologize for this being so long, but really, Marvel means the absolute would to me, and it’s really hard to explain to people why and I often get written off as an obsessive nerd who has no grasp on reality. But I know how I feel and I know the people who matter understand how important Marvel is to me. Honestly, I don’t know where I’d be without Marvel. I probably wouldn’t be here. I’m still struggling with a lot of issues, but I know I can get through it thanks to the X-Men and the other superheroes of Marvel. ❤️

#long post #personal stuff #i really apologize for this being so long #if you read all of this thank you #i may or may not be crying right now #this was difficult to type out #and i still left out a bunch of stuff #but anyways here you can have this #this is okay to reblog idk why someone would want to but it’s okay to interact with

[hereitalkonandon]

Murder

I didn't actually stop talking to her or anything, she just sort of started doing her own life, and good for her, I was never going to love her back, I knew that, and she didn't want to accept it, I think.

Her self-esteem was so low that maybe just loving her as a friend and giving her as much attention as I could was enough for her, but I never did either of these things. I'm glad that she's out of my life though, because she couldn't help but be mad at me for not loving her back and I was always going to be wrong then, maybe most people able of experiencing one-sided love can't help but be bitter. I strongly suspect I would never feel one-sided love.

Maybe I do now, but it's just what I've told you many times, while I'm still not sure of how she feels, I can't really feel that it's one-sided. So I could never be in my friend's shoes. It would be too obvious. I had no reason to choose my girlfriend other than liking her better, even if my friend somehow fooled herself into thinking I loved her too.

Unlike my situation with my girlfriend. I was extremely jealous during our whole relationship, and she had wanted to leave for years because of it. But I don't remain unsure just because I want to fool myself, it's just that I can't honestly know if she has her reasons for deciding to stay away but still loving me, instead of coming back and repeating the same story when it comes to my jealousy, it's not like I don't have even more reasons now.

So I wouldn't know if my friend also liked me as a person, she was extremely supportive when my dad died and when my ex-girlfriend left and I know that perhaps she was doing it to get something out of it, but maybe by then she was mostly convinced that me ever loving her back wasn't likely.

I do know she was unfair to think I was evil just for not feeling anything towards her. I agree that a normal friend cares for you, but she knew all about it, how my relationship with my ex-girlfriend was probably messing my feelings up and making me different from normal people.

Since you mention manipulation, maybe she tried to manipulate me, it wouldn't be odd, though I honestly think she was sad when she acted like it and I would feel unfair if I didn't say so, I always acted annoyed and she didn't gain anything from it. 

And she never succeeded when it came to playing games. This one time she pretended she was running away from her home and staying with her grandma over a fight with her mom just to see if I would call her worried, she told me herself afterwards. No, that didn't happen. Why would I worry about her staying with her grandma. She would always tell me whenever she did something just to get a reaction from me. 

I spent a lot of hours with her during my relationship but it was only because I felt like it, I love talking even if love being alone, and even if she ignored most of it, since she just kept insisting and insisting whenever I was angry and wouldn't leave me alone anyway, I just kept answering and interacting.

She was well aware too, and it was another thing that bothered her. She would always say that it made her mad and sad that I only put up with her because I loved talking and because she didn't bother me that much, and because I knew I would hurt her if I didn't and since it really wasn’t a big deal why not just talk to her and give her what she wanted. 

Yeah she would always call me a toxic person, and I would say that she was obviously a toxic person too, but she never accepted it, and that what could be more toxic than maintaining a friendship with someone you claimed was so disgusting.

Overall I think she is honestly a great person and a great friend, but her romantic feelings towards me didn't allow her to be fair when it came to judging me, and maybe she never did anything out of friendship. I've never watched American Psycho so I don't know the context of this quote "You're not terribly important to me", but it always made me think of her, not that the situation between us made me laugh or anything. I can see how it was frustrating for her.

Now I've talked way too much about her once again even when she doesn't even matter, so as I said, that's the only reason I avoided talking about her. But I felt like being fair to her and saying that. I just wouldn't know what was actually going on inside her head. So even if I wrote all of that, since she doesn't matter to me, and I feel bad saying that, so maybe just a little bit by now, tiny, and likely not even love but pity, you can just drop this topic if you want, but it also doesn't bother me because I just talk and talk about everything. 

Well you say "the women you have encountered throughout your life" but the actual number is just the three of you, that's funny. Well, other than family, I've talked to enough people and a few girls were my friends at school, I never cared for bullies and also had some awkward/brooding/gay/disabled male friends (the popular kids that weren't bullies were their friends anyway), as in I would eat with them and hang out, but exclusively at school. 

They didn't know much about who I actually was and I was already not into socializing, they thought I was smart and always joking and laughing, they noticed some things made me angry too, but not at them, just that I was that way.

I had a neighbor when I lived with my parents, we were friends for three years or so, the last time I saw her I was six, back when my parents divorced and I moved to my grandma's place. I can't remember our last interaction but it was probably nice, I can't remember a lot about her, just that we were often together. 

I had some of my ex-girlfriend's passwords too until she changed them after some months, so that's how I knew some stuff about our break up too. Whenever she would break up with me for three days or so she never bothered to change them either and that's how I knew what she was up to.

Oh OK, so there's this song I really like called Only The Young by Brandon Flowers, maybe you already know it, I mention it because I was listening to it today while running and it often makes me emotional. Whenever I listen to it, I feel like I'm not among the young, and that I'm doomed, not because of my age, but because I've seen so much even if I'm immature sometimes, but that it would be a hopeful message if I weren't this selfish, that I'd be glad that the young can break away even if I can't and if I don't want to. I would never be the type of person that feels good about others suffering with me because at least I'm not the only one though.

I read what you said about your ex-boyfriend many times but I didn't feel like I should even try to say something about him, not that I had anything important to add, just that whatever thought I had, it didn't feel like it was worth wasting your time with him.

Other than never wanting to be like my father, I never felt any hate towards him when he was alive, and I loved him even after he died, but after a year or so I started to feel a lot of anger towards him precisely because he died, so I can't forgive him because he is dead, the fact that he is dead is what makes me dislike him so much. I know I'll never stop disliking him until he stops doing that. Being dead. I would always rather be angry than sad anyway. Before my ex-girlfriend left I was rarely sad, but I've almost always been angry 24/7.

When I was a kid someone told me of a mother that started beating the corpse of his son up at the funeral because he died because he was a drug dealer and she was always telling him to stop. Since my dad died before my break up I never got to stop loving him but my sadness over him turned into dislike before my girlfriend left, that had nothing to do with her.

I dislike him because he is being stupid by being dead and not alive and I was 22 and too young to not have a father and he was 47 and too young to die. He was a good dad but he was so irresponsible when it came to money, he never once bothered after the divorce, he left everything up to my mom, I judge him for it but I don’t hold it against him, but on top of that he couldn't even manage to stay alive, he couldn't even do that. He had one job, not dying. I would never forgive someone for something they did over them dying though, I don't really see it like that. If I love a person and that person dies then if I loved them I would still love them, but I wouldn't forgive them.

Your boyfriend and your mom are being so dumb. And it's stupid of me to tell you too, because as if you didn't know already, that everything can kill you and that some people just die for whatever reason no matter how healthy they are but you don't intentionally ruin your damn lungs to make it happen faster. And worse because she is your mom, she should try to do everything to live as long as she can to be there for her daughters.

And so should your boyfriend, try to be there for you because he is basic and dull, so he should be thinking he will be with you forever since I doubt he can ask for more out of your relationship, and so he should be thinking that no one could protect you like he can even if you don't need him to, because no one could love you more than he does. 

Yes, I understand that you are just sharing your thoughts and I like knowing them. But I also agree in the sense that you shouldn't gossip about dead people, only judge them because of what you are sure that they actually did, because it's not like they can say if the gossip is true or not. So you also shouldn't tell lies about them either of course, that would be disgusting.

I don't think someone deserves to die because of a lie though, it's because of the lie that this man told my girlfriend. Back when she left, she was 23 and I was 24, she met this man at school, he was 32, she was doing this thing for him that I can't remember what is called, when you have to work for free to gain some points while you are still at school so you can graduate.

The first time they ever talked was through Facebook, he sent her a really creepy message saying "hugs and kisses" and things like that, so unprofessional, telling her how to get to his office and ask for him, and his name. I'm sure they had never met before. That's just how tacky he was. She thought nothing of it but I told her to be careful, it didn't feel right, even if he wasn't that old. She was a student, he was a grown man with a job and all, and she was working for him.

After ten days of knowing him she suddenly told me she didn't love me anymore, but she often liked to do that, so it didn't mean anything, but at the same time, I was often jealous so I also always used to suspect that maybe she liked someone else. She denied it, of course.

I was on her Facebook and she started talking to him, it was obvious that he was hitting on her, he thought she still had a boyfriend, she technically still did, it had been some hours after breaking up with me, so he mentioned something but subtly "oh it's normal for you to be lazy about going out, though, you have a boyfriend" and she just said "no I don't anymore, I dumped him because he was so jealous" and so he said "oh, then let's have a date, to show him", and they kept talking but I don't remember what stupid thing one of them said that made me really angry and I started writing using her account, but saying it was me, of course.

He had the nerve to say (and I'm telling you all of this so you see the kind of coward he was), "I didn't ask her out. I’m not attracted to her. Read before you speak, I said it was for work" that was a lie, he asked her for tea at first, he said it was for work, but he was being flirty, but he also had just asked her out as I've already told you, I didn't even bother answering that, what he had said was just too stupid to bother.

Then he said he didn't like her and he had no intentions of doing anything with her, and that he wasn't going to allow me to tell lies about him, then he said the equivalent of "if you'll excuse me" and "left" the conversation, I was about to say something else and leave too but my girlfriend kicked me out of her account.

So I sent him a single message with my Facebook, telling him that I knew he just wanted to sleep with her and ditch her, but that we had known each other since 2005, and that he was taking advantage of us having problems and maybe ruining her life because I wouldn't be able to forgive her if they did anything sexual together, that she was basically a girl next to him, and that I would leave it up to his "conscience" (he didn't have any). That was the only time I ever talked to that excuse for a man.

From the conversation they were having before my girlfriend changed her password (I then spent months being able to see her messages but not all of them, because notifications would be sent to her email and I still had that password) minutes after I started talking, it was obvious, without a doubt, that he was making her think he wanted a girlfriend, he literally said so even if not directly “what I need is a girlfriend”, and that he wanted something serious with her, he kept bragging without bragging about his last girlfriend breaking up with him because he was always working so much and studying so much and so focused.

I can't read my ex-girlfriend's thoughts, but I'm pretty sure that the only reason she dared to leave me (she wanted to because of my jealousy but never could and never dared to sleep with another man just to make me leave her instead) was because she thought she was about to jump into another relationship with a man that she thought was attractive and maybe worth it.

We spoke that same day because I called her and told her to stop being stupid, it was so obvious to me that they were going to sleep together even if they didn't say it, so I was warning her she would regret it and I would be unable to forgive her, that she knew that, she said a lot of things but also "we don't know what's going to happen anyway, what if I even end up marrying him though?".

Anyway, she ended up disconnecting her phone and turning off her cell phone because I kept trying to call her and warn her not to do it. I never beg, so since she didn't connect her phone or take my call after an hour or so, I stopped trying because then it would count as begging, at first it was just me trying to continue our conversation as I often tried to do whenever she left.

I didn't know anything about her for about three days, until she called me one morning. She asked me if I was threatening the other guy and telling him I was going to beat him up. She was really calm, I told her I wasn't, and I wasn't laughing but my voice even sounded like I wanted to laugh because I couldn't even believe (also, no, this isn't the lie that made me want to murder him yet) that someone that stupid and that cowardly existed.

She was already seeing him or whatever they were doing. What was the point of telling lies about me? Anyway, when I said I wasn't, she also said, that it seemed odd, that she told him I wasn't like that. I asked her if she had already slept with him and she told me she had (lied about the day) and I probably started to yell or something and she probably ended the call because of it, I just remember we didn't talk for long.

After maybe ten minutes she called me again, this time she was really angry, but not just angry, I could hear the hatred too, I didn't know what she wanted, and the first thing she said was. "Oh so you want to burn me" as if I was supposed to understand and just hearing that made me really angry too because I had already figured out it was a new lie. And to me it immediately made sense that anyone who wasn’t an idiot would see that the fact that he came up with something else in a matter of minutes right after the first thing wasn’t very effective was extremely suspicious, but she’s a dumb plant. So she started explaining, not because she didn't believe I didn't know, but for the sake of keeping the conversation going I guess.

She said he told her I had also threatened him saying I would upload pictures/videos (he probably didn't elaborate so that huge stupid girlfriend I used to have would confirm his version and fill in the blanks, he just knew he wouldn't automatically sound like a liar even if those things never existed, he would just claim I told him that knowing he didn't know if we ever did any of that or not) of her naked.

I was so angry, I couldn't understand how someone so monstrous, so gutless, could exist. To this day of course he never made the slightest attempt to talk to me, he didn’t need to. To me it makes no difference, he basically accused me of having raped someone when he was well aware that it couldn’t possible be true.

I had never done anything to that person other than tell him not to take advantage of her and that he was older than her and to think about what he was doing in one single message from my account other than the brief conversation we had on her Facebook. He was also a proven liar and I told her that, he had already denied in that same conversation, while she was reading, that he had any intention towards her, told me he wasn’t attracted to her, and acted all offended when I confronted him instead of being decent enough to outright say he liked her and he was hitting on her.

He had already slept with her. I couldn't understand how someone so low could exist. Even if he had anything to gain, it was disgusting (and the fact that something like that was the second lie that came up to his head spoke so much about how sick he was, it made me worry about her being with him, of what he could do to her, so I told her to be careful once again), but it didn't even look to me like there was anything to be gained from this lie at that point.

When I told her I obviously didn't tell him anything and that I would never do that, and that I didn’t even have anything anymore (I didn't, I'm sorry I deleted everything because I wish I still had it so I could watch it, but I would often be anxious about someone entering my home and stealing all the stuff I had of her naked, or someone hacking my laptop, so I had already deleted every single thing I owned of her naked about three years before the end of our relationship) she said "Why would he lie about it?" and I said "Why do I have to explain why someone so stupid would say something like that? What do I know? Why would I do this? What are you even talking about. You don't even know that person and I don’t either. You've known me for almost ten years. And I would never do this but if I did, why would I ever think that that man would care in the slightest about me sharing you naked if he has known you for ten days? I'm not stupid enough to think he would care. Why would I think that would stop him from sleeping with you. I knew he had no principles the moment he started hitting on you knowing that you have a boyfriend, so it certainly wouldn’t be because of some sense of morality either. Nothing makes sense." 

I was shouting, mostly, I had never been so angry, this is why whenever dumb people over the internet say about someone else in articles or whatever “he is clearly guilty, look at him getting all angry about being accused, look how he is losing it, he looks crazy, he would be calm if he were innocent” I know they probably have never been accused of something that disgusting. Oh, I don’t know, Brittany, perhaps everyone reacts differently, maybe he is enraged and baffled about people hating him for something he didn’t do and that someone would dare make that sort of lie about him, angry for even having to justify himself in the first place when he didn’t do it and so he doesn’t owe anyone anything, and then only to have everything he says dismissed. And this is also why I always about those all news. Everyone is just so stupid.

What angered me the most was that she was the person I loved the most in the world and she would believe that about me, and that someone would just try to ruin my life like that, out of nowhere, for all he knew she could just have hated me for the rest of her life after ten years like it was nothing.

And she just said "Because you want me to come back, you just want me to say I didn't sleep with him so you can take me back, but I did, a day after I left you. And even if you show these things to my dad, I'll never come back." and I told her "I wouldn't take you back anyway if you have already slept with him, so all you are saying is so pointless. But I never said that, leave me alone. But if you didn't do anything, you can come back, it's okay, I don't care about what you are saying now, it's okay." And she, being this extremely smart woman answered "OH, you see. You did do it. You did it. You want me to come back, that's why you did it, that’s why you are trying to come back, you have practically confessed, accidentally." OH, I sure love smart women, you see. How clever of her. 

So I told her "I want you to come back because I love you. You left me. You will see I'm right because I'll never upload anything, I don't even have anything to upload even if I wouldn't." And she said "I know he is telling the truth because of who you are" so I obviously answered "then you don't know a thing, because I've never done anything like that, you have been with me for so long and I've never done anything that seems unfair or lied to you" and she said "yes you know who you are, you are a son of a bitch and you know it" and then I don't remember how the fight went just that I told her “no, I don’t know it because I’m not.”

And no, I wasn't a son of a bitch so I didn't know it. And also I wasn’t angry because of the insult, I have never cared when people say anything about my mom to make me angry. OH, they are so clever, they are insulting my mom, so talented, please release me. I know whatever they say about my mom isn’t true, so if I wasn’t angry in the first place, I won’t just because they mention my mom. And if what they said about my mom were true, then why would I be angry. Not that she was trying to make me angry by mentioning my mom, though, I just remembered that most people go crazy if you talk about their mom. They are so dumb. 

Before that day she didn't know it either. During our relationship she would say out of nowhere that people like me didn't seem real whenever she saw something really ugly, that this world was a really bad place and no one cared about doing the right thing. But all of a sudden it turns out that I've always been evil and disgusting and we both were aware of that because of what something she didn’t even know was saying, because “why would he made something like that up” yes, that was the most relevant part about the whole thing, his motive, sure.

Anyway, after that call ended, she called me after three hours or so, yelling once again, telling me to stop calling that thing, I can't even call him a man anymore ever since I started writing. So he was pretending I kept calling him and telling him I would do it if he didn't break up with her. That kept happening during the whole day and I was getting so tired of it, she probably called about six times or more, every few hours.

I also told her, from the start, that I wasn’t sending him anything, to ask him to show her the messages, because he said I was sending him messages on Facebook, I told her he would obviously refuse. And of course, he didn’t have any proof, so the next time she called she said I made a blank account just for the messages. Yes, that’s why, not because he was making it up and had absolutely no actual proof. And now that I talk about this, this is sort of why I never talked about this until now, I’m so unlucky that I thought if you ever get any message you would blame me after knowing this, and now I feel stupid for talking about this, it wouldn’t surprise me, not that you believed it, but that something happened in the first place, bad thing after bad thing and coincidence after coincidence just keep happening to me, but I’ve spent so much time writing about this, and I wouldn’t mind, and still delete this, knowing my luck, but I can’t just leave it at “I once wanted to murder someone only because of a lie” I didn’t mean it like that, it wasn’t like that and it was the only time I ever wanted to murder someone, I also don’t want to lie about the reason, I don’t like lying.

That’s why I sometimes believe there are many gods, and that for whatever reason I’m important enough to one of them to hate me. I still love my life and want to live forever though and that will never change no matter what. This reminds me that on your post you said, that anyone would ask god for help and mercy when desperate. I never have, I know you were just generalizing. Whenever I’m desperate I curse him and tell him to keep going, that he will never make me sorry of being alive, that the worst he can do is murder me and he will if he wants no matter what I say. I do it just in case it’s his fault, and once again, just that one god, assuming there are many. Because I absolutely refuse to believe that if there is only one god he would bother annoying me, I’ve never done anything to him or to anyone, it would be so stupid. If there is only one god then I would feel love towards him, he wouldn’t do things just to harm me. No, I could just be really unlucky, and I hope that’s the actual reason, the other option is horrible, I’m not afraid though, but who would want that to be true. I just mean that because of all the things I’ve seen the idea of something messing with me doesn’t seem so crazy. I’m not scared because of what I’ve already told you, if he can do something to me and he wants he will, all I can do is give him the finger, even if I really hate that sign, but I do it, I reserve it just for him, and he is likely not even there.

The last time she called I was really angry because she once again told me to stop calling that stupid coward, that she wouldn't come back, that I could upload whatever I wanted and she wouldn't, the same things she kept repeating, so I started shouting things about that disgusting idiot and told her I would even get him thrown in jail if he didn't cut it off, to tell him, because I wasn't actually talking to him no matter what he said and I had nothing to say to him, but to tell him that, my mom took my cell phone away and told her to stop bothering me, that she knew who I was and to tell that person to leave me alone and to go pick a fight with people his age or he would have a problem, that we were children next to him and to go mind his business and stop telling lies.

I wasn't listening to what my girlfriend said but I remember my mom said (and she is one of the few moms that actually knows his son also, I've never been afraid of her, and I never hide anything I do from her, I'm shameless, I don't care about anything, well other than a lot of positive stuff about me that I hide from anyone but you, if anything) "and I know my son too. He is manipulative, yes, and you knew it and it clearly didn't bother you that much until now, but he doesn't tell lies. So it's so weird, that you are telling me you know him. You don't know anything or you wouldn't believe that" so I guess my girlfriend was saying that she knew who I was.

Little did she know that the person that has seen the worst things about me is my mom. Not because it was a secret but because she probably didn't pay attention. Also, I'm not manipulative, or maybe I am, but I never lie or pretend, and I never tell people something would hurt me or make me sad if they don't do it, I'm always honest and people that love me often end up doing what I want anyway. I think that what’s wrong with manipulative people is that they lie in order to get something or that they force you to end up doing it against your will somehow, like the person that told that lie to my girlfriend. Well, I’ve never been charming, and I don’t lie, I wouldn’t know how I do it, if I do it at all, but my mom and my girlfriend would say I do it, it’s likely they are right.

Maybe it's actually called being persuasive and maybe it's because I'm smart and it works. Whatever it's called, my mom was well aware of whatever my girlfriend was whining about, and she still knew I wouldn't do that. My friend was really angry that she would believe something like that, I honestly believe she was angry and that she wasn't just pretending, she only thought I was a monster because I didn't love her, but she loved me after all, so she didn’t like when someone else was being unfair to me, and even if I didn’t care for her, I used to be really angry at her big sister whenever she was being mean to her, she thought she was so much smarter than her and she wasn’t, the kind of person to mock someone and act all superior. My grandma was angry too, but it's not like any of that says anything, people that love you often refuse to believe bad things about you.

I'm not like that, my mom loves lying to get out of trouble, I would believe she lied about something, it depends on the lie. My grandma once told me she would grab an envelope with money if she found it out there on top of whatever furniture but not in someone’s property. I told her she shouldn't, it wasn't hers and she knew it, someone left it there for another person to pick it up and that person knew who they were. She said it wasn't anyone's either if it didn't have a name, and that even if it did, it was the person's fault for leaving it out there, that you should know better. She said everyone would take the envelope, that I would even if I said I wouldn’t. She was obviously wrong and it made me really angry so she had to hear me for over an hour saying, a lot of people would take it, but not everyone, and I certainly wouldn't. So I would believe some things about my grandma too. Not that I think anyone that took the envelope would be a bad person. But it would speak so much about their principles, and I care way too much about that to ruin them over some damn money, no money is worth that, no one would find out, but I would know, and I’m with me 24/7. I don’t care about my reputation either, just about people not believing lies about me as I told you in another letter.

The point is I didn't do it. She didn't call me again, not for that reason, but she called me twenty days after the day she first left. That's when she wanted to come back, this woman, was apparently so deeply disturbed, and wanted to come back with someone that threatened to beat the new person she was seeing up and that kept threatening to share her naked body. I don't understand how a man this jealous would ever think it's a good idea to allow every man on Earth to look at her naked body until the end of time if I was supposedly still trying to make her come back and I told her so when she called me to accuse me, but okay.

She said he obviously lied to her, probably only to have an excuse to ditch her, he never admitted he lied and she is a plant, she doesn't care that much for justice, so I don't think she ever asked him for an explanation. Because after that day he told her that he didn't want any trouble with me, that he wanted to be an astronaut and go to Russia, a lot of stupid lies just to stop seeing her (he isn't one yet, he will be one, but I know he probably still dreams of it, I stopped checking on him after a year, he never once mentioned what he did to me, he never made any reference, any sort of apology, why would he, he probably forgot all about it after a week or so and if he didn’t he probably thought he was right to lie about me because I argued with him that one time, over wanting to sleep with my girlfriend and ditching her, I'll never understand how some people find it so easy to ruin someone's life over a lie and just move on) and she said the reason he wanted to stop seeing her was because in the end, he wanted her to do a lot of stupid things to him, he was submissive, he didn't like that she wasn't who he thought she would be in bed (they never talked about it so he had no reason to assume that she wanted to beat him up other than her angry plant face), and he wasn't either, so she didn't mind that he wanted to ditch her. They still sort of kept in touch for a month or so after that, I found out afterwards, but she just moved on with her life too and they never spoke again, they soon stopped having each other on Facebook too.

I asked her if she had really slept with him and she obviously said it was true. I couldn't help but cry because unlike what I do with my mom and my grandma, I didn't want to believe the things that I already knew she was capable of until I had proof, I even apologized for crying, I know I shouldn't have, but she never saw me cry, maybe ten times in ten years, I doubt it.

But I suddenly got an idea, because she said she wanted to come back since the start of the call, and she told me she wanted me to tell her what it was, but I said it was something bad, that she would believe the lie about me then but that it was a lie. She insisted. So I said, if she allowed me to murder him, I wouldn't mind that she slept with him, I could forget it, he would be dead, that it wouldn't be now, that it would be in ten years. No one knew what had happened between us, but I'm not an idiot, I would wait for a really long time anyway, what I wanted was her answer.

I told her all of that. She said no, of course. and she was clearly afraid now. I told her that obviously the life of someone that lied to both of us, being well aware of how important and long our relationship was, that it was clearly more meaningful then. So she immediately took everything back, and said she didn't love me (right after saying she did, that she wanted to be with me for the rest of her life, that that’s how she knew she would never do something like that again if I took her back), that she was just lonely, to forgive her, that she was sorry to bother me, but to not do that, that she actually wanted to meet other men.

I told her I would never do it if she didn't want me to. But that it would only work while she didn't sleep with someone else, because if she did, I would have no excuse to murder him of course, that I wasn't going to murder a man just for sleeping with her. So, that same night, I saw her talk about sexual stuff with him, but I know she really wasn't that much into it. She was only into being submissive and he clearly didn't want that from her, so their conversation was really stupid, and they never saw each other again other than for business, she slept with other men, and all of the story that you already know.

It speaks so much about her, though, that she would be friendly with someone that did what he did to me. For years, I would be so enraged whenever I thought of him, but thankfully, he is nothing now, he always was. I've always cared about my principles. About doing what feels right to me and only me. Not about being a good person.

I didn't want to murder him because of what he did to me, I wanted to murder him so I could forgive my ex-girlfriend, and murdering someone capable of telling such a lie wasn't against my principles. Then, the life of a disgusting coward, or fixing the life of my ex-girlfriend who was clearly suffering because I wouldn't take her back. I chose fixing the life of my ex-girlfriend of course. But if she didn't agree, it was pointless. First, because she didn't love me that much, if she wasn't willing to allow me to do whatever it took to fix her mistake. But also, because I wasn't going to murder him any time soon and I was well aware that by then she would have slept with other men anyway, making his dead pointless. I wouldn't be able to forgive her anyway. So why even bother murdering him. 

You wouldn’t remember it now but when we first started talking I told you I’ve never cared for revenge, that I didn’t waste any time with people that aren’t worth it, and that if someone is worth it then I don’t want to hurt them no matter what they did.

No, your hubris didn't become your doom. Your dumb ex-boyfriend promised more than he could deliver and that's why he ended up walking way after talking so much about love, and you obviously believed him, you had no reason to doubt him.

What you said about your boyfriend not caring about everything being in vain, we don’t know it yet, if it's actually in vain. But let's say it is. That the end is oblivion. Just think of your favorite food or of your favorite thing ever, something you truly love, yes, you do it or you eat that thing, and you know you will do it again. But even if you knew that could only eat it once, it wouldn't stop tasting good, and it would be meaningful while it's happening. 

And maybe since you will only exist while it's happening, that's because oblivion wouldn't matter, as long as we enjoy it here and as long as it has a meaning while we can actually experience what we are supposed to experience. Even if it's something like your boyfriend's dumb game.

And this also makes me think of your loved ones. Even if you were going to die and disappear completely, that still wouldn't make your love for your sister less meaningful than it is right now. So that's the point, it's important now. But that said, I'm really angry at everything involving death and I refuse to die and I want us to live forever.

This is already really long, but I'll say something that I believe about hell, I think if there is a god, punishing someone for eternity wouldn't make sense. Because let's say a man raped and murdered a lot of women and animals, and did everything bad that you can do while you are alive. After billions and billions and billions of burning or of any kind of terrible pain, that would surely be enough.

I'm not even talking about that man being sorry, maybe he wouldn't be, just afraid of the punishment going on if he doesn't change his mind. I'm just talking about the actual punishment. It would seem stupid to keep going after such a long time, billions and billions of years. What would the point even be.

That's why if there are gods, and if they have a hell, since they would probably be smarter than us, an eternal punishment would probably seem stupid to them too, and they would punish you for as long as you actually deserved it no matter what you did, but not forever.

I can't think of anyone actually deserving an eternal punishment. Not even if I try to picture (and I don't do it, that makes me feel awful) a man doing something terrible to thousands of animals, torturing them, and a lot of things but that's it, I don't want to think about it, not even then.

Because obviously there would come a time when he was done paying. I'm not saying I would like him after that, but that I would agree that it was enough. If I was a god though, I would probably find a punishment unnecessary, but that’s another thing, I was just saying why the idea of hell seems so stupid to me.

I think you are like the sea mostly because of what I've already said about it, it's strong and it's destructive, you can be if you want to, obviously, everyone that's strong can, I think. Unless you are disabled, unable to move and talk and see, and everything, that's very specific though, but then you can be destructive to yourself, I guess, you can have terrible thoughts and put yourself down. Not you obviously. But I said it was something healthy too, because of what you said yourself, you enjoy it, for so many things, most people just love the sea, and see so many things. I also said is deep and sort of endless, you are those things. I didn't read my letter again, I just thought of what I thought you had in common. But yeah, the thing about Kylo's lightsaber isn't even about traits, other than intensity, and something I felt out of nowhere.

Maybe, before I read some terrible story about some pets dying in a fire, I would have talked about something with fire. But ever since I read that, fire often makes me think about people and animals that have died in a fire, and that's terrible because a lot of deep stuff talks about fire and I can still appreciate it but it's not the same now. But it depends, I still enjoy songs that talk about fire, and if I see a bonfire and things like that, it doesn’t make me think of something else burning. I’m just no longer into comparing people to fire.

[gautierprotectionsquad]

Sins of the Father by Sam Burns Review (contains spoilers

Book 2 of the Wilde Love Series.

“She threw her hands in the air. “It’s our Pride special, Key, what do you want it to look like? Black cheesecake with a side of blood orange sauce? You wanna go full dark for Pride?” i can name you at least 100 queers who would fucking love this.

Keagan ends up with an fbi agent? Shouldn’t be surprised bc the last book featured a cop but i thought Keagan was going to be the dark sexy badass of the book and he was going to fall for a normal dude.

Personal preference note but not a fan that other than Casey (Liam’s best friend) all of the named women in the last book are straight. I hope this changes. It always feels weird when i’m reading adult queer romance but only men are queer. Like I see even queer authors do this. You can have your women characters dating each other. TJ Klune does it. It just feels weird.

The author, Sam Burns, is a he and lives with his husband and cat. Sam. Write more wlw into this series i beg.

I did my homework so I’m actually going to read this book now. Except i’m supposed to be paying attention to my classmates’ presentation.

I love that Owen loves the cheesecake. Both Quinn boys shitted on the cake bc of the way it looks but thought it tasted heavenly.

I like Brigit but she is a little too concerned over her friend’s dating life. As an ace, I HATE those people.

“And liking guys and eating rainbow cheesecake doesn’t mean I have to like hugging people. Later!” Owen you are 100% right but how is hugging a stereotype? Bc it’s “girly”?

Jon sees the Quinns as the enemy. This series does an exploration of the morally gray, more obvious when it had Alex, philosophy major, as the pov character. It’s interesting seeing how little the fbi knows about the Quinns and interesting that Jon talked to 2 agents who had different opinions on Keagan. I don’t like that book 2 has me with another “person of the law” bc while i can enjoy copaganda in shows, I despise it in books. This isn’t complete copaganda bc moral grayness and the book makes you love the criminals but it still views cops as “good guys”.

Jon and Alex both had their soulmate at their back and heard their voice before they saw their face.

Brigit wanted him out of there at first but I think she ships them now. Yeah. The book points out how annoying it is. Calls it the “oh my god you’re gay you should date my gay friend” look. This book uses its platform to talk about the slight annoyances of having straight friends. Imma shut up now.

I don’t want Jon to succeed in his goal and honestly the story has an easy answer. B Quinn retires. He’s old. His children won’t be his successors. The business he specifically deals in dies with his retirement. There really isn’t any point going after him or putting him in jail. Just let his career die as it will. He’s old with no successors.

I like that Jon has a good relationship with his family. I like Miles. He doesn’t have any friends though so I guess the good relationship with your family thing is just so he has someone to talk to. Liam also had a good relationship with some family but he also had friends so he didn’t talk to his family in the book.

Owen may be demiromantic.

Jon isn’t working the Quinn case anymore so less conflict than before. He’s interested in Quinn and way too honest and upfront.

This man flirted with you a tiny bit once and you switch assignments and try to ask him out. Like i would expect a little bit more flirting to happen before you go that far.

I don’t know how to feel about Jon just yet...I just realized his name is spelled like jon sims. Book made the mistake of telling me he was fbi. I liked Liam before i knew he was a cop so i could set my irl morals aside for a fictional character.

One thing i like about these books which seems it’s going to be a pattern for at least the first two books in the series is the lack of drama. Two characters decide they have feelings for each other and then nothing gets in between them.

Hmm. so the fbi and Jon and Jon’s family don’t care that Jon is dating Keagan but his dad does care that Keagan is dating an agent.

If Jon finds his job boring, why can’t he just quit? They don’t respect him and limit what he’s allowed to do bc he’s gay anyway. Just quit. Make the smart move that Liam didn’t. But if he quits then there wouldn’t be any *conflict*. Except Jon’s morals. I love these books but i’m GLAD the next one isn’t going to have a “person of the law” in it.

“I know Jenna said no PDA, but as it turns out, I’m the guy who owns the place.”

Ok their date at Wildes was super cute.

Oh i forgot an ex of Keagan’s was going to cause drama. Ick. i hate ex drama.

Keagan is so cute. He BLUSH! He blush hard!

Jon’s brother is ACE!! I knew I liked him. (Em/Miles)

This book is ok but I’m more excited to read the next book. It was through book 3 that i found this series. From the description, I think Brian is a sex repulsed ace which is AWESOME. Also, it’s clear this author did their research (if they aren’t ace themselves) bc “He’s had it, and he says it’s okay, but it’s not something he cares about. It’s like doing the dishes because you’re supposed to.” is an accurate description!

I’m headcannoning miles as autistic.

MILES AND BRIGIT ARE FLIRTING. Good. i like both of them.

Ok i like Jon now. Hearing about how shitty all Keagan’s exes were makes Jon look perfect.

Oh. Apparently his dad has hated every boyfriend of Keagans. Usually Keagan would agree and the relationship would eventually die out. But Jon was the first time he told his dad to fuck off with that shit.

Jon and Keagan have good chemistry. It took a bit to get there. I think it strongly helps that this author knows how to write jokes. The lovers being able to joke with each other and make each other laugh themselves silly and smile till it hurts is a strong contender for illustrating how perfect they are together.

So is Jon not going to tell him what he found just so he doesn’t seem like a creep? It was his coworker who suggested and looked him up anyway. It would be good for Keagan to know.

I hate every single one of Keagan’s exes.

Ugh Phil. Shut up go away i hate you.

“You’re thinking about having sex with him right now, aren’t you?” Phil asked. He looked annoyed.

“No?” Keegan couldn’t keep the smile from his face. “Maybe.”

REALLY RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD! OH MY GOD Phil’S LITERALLY EATING A SALAD IN THIS SCENE!

“I’m giving you something Phil’s never had.” What? Your undivided attention?sdfrgthydwfg. (have i been spelling Keegan’s name wrong this whole time?)

Is english major guy Brian? No his name’s Javi Bennet.

Keagan’s face is so easy to read. I can’t believe he used to be a gangster.

Mickey might be demisexual. This is based on nothing except he’s been in an on again off again relationship with a girl since middle school and he ends up with one of his closest friends.

Surprised Keagan didn’t talk to Jon about the guilt he still feels over that child’s death years ago and that they never talk about his disabled arm.

Keagan is a little dumb and surprisingly too trusting but I love that for him.

Anyway, like the last book the last words were “i love you” plus for both it was the first i love you.

END.

#romanticsap #book reviews #sam burns #Sins of the father #lgbt books #mlm books #long post

[shykissed]

So I May Destroy You has got me thinking

Idk

I lost a whole friendship group last year

We went to a day night rave festival drink drink drink mad thing to celebrate end of year

My ex and I had broken up a few weeks earlier and I was rli heartbroken

It was one of the first proper big nights out w allllll my friends and we had been planning for ages and we were all so excited

Everyone was drinking drinking

I guess I took the drinking a bit far cos I was so fucked in the head tbh

My friends are making me drinks n I am exercising nooo self control

Big group of us got to the venue and obvs I’m refused entry cos I’m spilling the contents of my bag n drink all over me n I can’t stand up straight

Obvs i try argue w the bouncer cos i think I’m hard when I’m that drunk lol

But nah refused

So then my friends are looking at each other like shit what shall we do

I can’t walk straight n obvs need to be dealt w lol

So one of our group, A, volunteers to walk me back to their house cos it’s close and he’s not that fucked

He will join them all later, house only 5 mins away

Anyway so he walks me to theirs and I’m probs annoying af cos I can’t walk straight n I’m def talking shit

Next thing I remember the rest of my friends are home to drink more I assume cos it’s wristband reentry

My friend B is being nice to me and feeding me bagels to try soak up the alcohol, she’s probs my closest friend in the group

I’m in A’s bed, idk how....I assume one of them put me to bed

I don’t rli remember much but I know they left again n I was trying to sober up in A’s bed

Couldn’t manage the bagel cos my head was spinning lol

A suggested maybe a spliff n obvs I’m always up for

So he rolled n we smoked

Idk why I smoked tbh, weed n alcohol is the combination that ruins me af like....my body rejects everything n hates me n refuses to cooperate n I feel sick n dizzy n too hot n head spinning

So that was dumb of me

Anyway

A has always flirted w me....he’s the only one who knows my (lack of) sexual history and has always tried it on w me but I’ve never flirted back cos obvs had a bf

But I did talk to him about my sex life n stuff while in my relationship cos idk I don’t tell that many ppl about the lack of experience and he was reassuring for me cos....my ex kinda made me anxious af w sex and I had no other experiences to compare to

So I guess A took that as flirting back idk

Anyway

I remember flashes of what happened next

Idk how it was brought up but A was talking to me trying to sober me up I guess idk

I do remember consenting n saying something like......”this has been a long time coming” and then I took off my skirt I think

Then I remember tiny nano seconds n I know we had sex

But it must have been shit cos I was so drunk he kinda had to move me everywhere and I didn’t rli respond normally

Like I personally wouldn’t have initiated sex if the other person was that drunk, but I guess is just difference in morals n boundaries

And then suddenly we stopped cos my friends came back again for more drinks I guess idk

Don’t rli remember what else happened that day tbh so I’m assuming I drank more and went out

———————

So Yh then I spend the next few days and weeks rli thinking about what happened n feeling strange about it

———————-

Then it’s another big drink drink someone’s bday and the whole group going out again

I’m still a bit unhinged from my breakup tbh

So I’m drinking drinking drinking a lot

And I think I get to a similar state, or nearly there

And I’m annoying af again lol, v annoying drunk

A kinda has a reputation and has slept w quite a few of the girls in our group

So I’m asking one about A...trying to figure out my feelings on what happened I guess

If anything similar happened to her

And idk I thought she was cool but somehow it turns into a omg u slept together thing

And it becomes a massive drama

Spreads through the whole group of 30 somehow

And I’m drunk n just probs shouting about it

Asking if they consider it rape cos idk lol

———————————-

I def had regrets upon regrets in the morning

Was one of those things where I just didn’t want to know what I was like the night before, cos I know I was awful

My friend B called me and asked if I was okay

Checking up on me and how I was

Concerned

She repeated what I told her the night before and asked me if tru

She said she’d heard weird stuff about A from other girls, like he takes condom off without asking

She seemed to care

But then idk

Somehow she started replying less and less

And they all did

And now we don’t speak at all

Haven’t for months n months

Not in contact w any of them

But A is.....

I’m confused by this

They’re still a big group but....I’m not part of it anymore???

Idm about it tbh, like I can get over it and I am

Making new friends

But idk what I did wrong lol

I know I was annoying and drunk af and shouting shit

And that’s not “cool”

But idk what I acc did to warrant being ghosted lol

Especially cos no one rli liked A that much, they all made fun of him n thought he was kinda annoying

Like he was always an add on kinda like....oh ffs fine lol we’ll invite him

I always pushed for him to be invited tbh cos I thought they were being unnecessarily mean

So Yh idk what happened

Just know that I’ve been cut hahaha

But oh well

We move

🧿

#🧿 #melancholicmusings #r

[szopenhauer]

Do you have a Beatles shirt? why would I? Do you know anyone who is going through a hard time? ... me?... Do you stay up really late, or are you one of the first people asleep? stay up late

Do have any plans for this evening? nope How has this day been for you? sigh... Did you get to sleep in today? nope Is life at all what you expected it to be when you were a kid? pfft The last thing that made you angry? What about sad? no comment Do you think about the way things used to be often? mhm Is there anyone that you would like for things to be the same with? grandma for example What do you feel like right now? ugh... The last text message you recieved says? “Może coś pooglądam” When was the last time you totally freaked out? recently

What did you do in 2020 that you’d never done before? had sex

Did anyone close to you give birth this year? my ex friends

Did anyone close to you die? no one close

What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020? health, money, peace or however to call this state

Did you suffer illness or injury? sadly

What was the best thing you bought? can’t decide

What song will always remind you of 2020? shitload

What do you wish you’d done more of? eat if possible

What do you wish you’d done less of? worry, spend time visiting doctors, paying for meds, suffering, waste of time and money <yadda, yadda, yadda> *wash hands - jk

What did you want and not get? medical help and job

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020? nothing has changed

What kept you sane? internet (music, games, tumblr and such), my gf, dad, sleeping, shopping... 

What issue stirred you the most? mine or world problems?

would you ever watch a bullfight? I’m against bull fights would you ever travel to Greece? not interested what sound can you hear right now? sawing wood and washing machine

Do you remember what you wore yesterday? had my blue pants with daisies and SW tee with plaid sleeveles shirt over it What is your favorite kind of fabric? cotton and polyester? Would you consider your voice high, low, or in the middle? childish, weird

When did you first hear of Harry Potter? my elementary school bestie been obsessed with it

How many pictures do you take a month on average? *shrug* Are you the type people should take seriously, or should they think you’re joking most of the time? I’m often joking but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take me srsly at all, you know? What do you think of therapists? useless Do you have a bad temper? do I? What do you think about how around Halloween a lot of people harm black cats? that is a dumb excuse, not that anything gives you right to hurt cats in other situation than protecting yourself/someone from an attack Would you ever go to a sperm bank to get pregnant? creepy Do you have the same initials as anyone else you know? no one I know has initials like I do What do you think of people who use the saying, “Ignorance is bliss” in defense of something?  that’s true but we can’t be ignorant all the damn time  If a little kid walked up to you and asked, “Are you goth?”, how would you respond? awww thx but I’m not Does it annoy you when people say their heart is “broken”? only when they reffer to crush they never even spoken to once  Would you rather hang out with friends, hang out with one close friend, or be alone? be alone Would you know exactly how to help a person if they were choking on something? in theory, I’d try my best What are you listening to? Talor Swift - Love story Have you ever painted one of those “Paint By Numbers” things? several times

What color is your carpet? no carpet in my room

Do you have shower curtains? we don’t 

Do you think Oprah is lame? Ellen is

Do you play with dead bugs? *screams and runs away*

What was the last bug you killed? mosquito?

Do you flush trash down the toilet? that can clog the toilet so nope

How many country songs have you heard today? not a single one

How many yellow shoes do you own? 1 pair

Don’t you just love those ‘Axe’ commercials? they’re incredibly stupid and irritating

Did you know that the average human eats 8 total spiders in their sleep? I heard

If you had to switch races, what would you be? asian?

What is your favorite shade of blue? navy?

Have you ever thought about getting a mohawk? in middle school I had this idea for a moment :x

What’s your favorite extinct animal? mammoth, dodo, moa

What’s your favorite eating utensil? tiny forks are cute and wooden spoons are nostalgic

When was the last time your stomach growled in a quiet place? this or last month *awkward*

Have you ever rolled around in wet grass? not wet

Where was the last public bathroom you used located? KFC

Have you ever dipped a guy’s hand in warm water while they were sleeping? I’m not an asshole

Do you ever imagine random people in their underwear? whaaat?

Do you have any asian neighbors? our neighborhood ain’t diverse

Does your grandmother/grandfather use a walker? cane

Do you die without chewing gum?apparently not. I haven’t had gum in years and I’m still here.

Are you glad it’s summer? yasss How many calories would you say you take in a day? fuck off Have you ever pissed outside? more than once Ever not liked someone because of their race? I’m not a racist Are you pregnant? I an asexual lesbian and have period rn... Do you wanna be? no way in hell Do you share a bathroom? with fam Do you hate it? YES Describe your entire family in 3 words. mom, dad, sister Do you shower once daily? yep

Are you by any chance a perfectionist? slightly How would you react if your artwork became famous? wow

Would you turn people into stone if you could? waste of space, who would want to look at those statues?  Have you ever cooked a cake over a campfire? (I have, it worked ^_^) it’s possible?! good to know Are there any orange clocks in your house? why orange... Do you put shampoo in your left or right hand? ... left? When you take a drink of something, do you hold your pinky up? often  Which shoe do you put on first? whichever What will you eat next? rice or oatmeal? Name something that you have more than 28 of. problems  Do you like peas? why not Do you enjoy llamas? yup

[myvelouri]

She thinks I took this all better than she thought

So basically the night that I couldn't come over, she really wanted me, she wanted to have sex and just wanted me there. I couldn't and it got late. I was actually about to come and she stopped responding. She was passing out.

I was trying to talk to her but she wasn't really saying anything and taking long.

Finally she said she's going to go to sleep. I said oh okay. She said goodnight with a heart emoji.

I was awake and upset. I wanted to come

Anyway, I was awake the whole time until 9am

But

She said she never fell asleep, or, she did, but, she got into her head... Cause I wasn't there... And she was alone, and she had thoughts about feeling guilty that she didn't fully tell her ex why she broke up with him. Even though I thought she had before.

So... That same night. After saying goodnight to me. She texted him asking if he's awake. It's around 4am. She said she wanted to tell him why, and talk about stupid shit. Well... She called him. And now, she now told me, yeah, she video chatted him. And she knows I'm totally not cool with that. And the thing is, it wasn't okay, cause she got feelings for him cause of it all. She said he said something that triggered feelings for her.

She said she feels like she cheated. I think so too.

Emotionally cheated. And mostly went behind my back. This is why video chatting certain guys isn't cool with me. And what I feared would happen DID happen

On my way to see her today she was actually flirty. We were talking about body temperature and I said I run hot. She said "YEAH you are" as in, she's saying I was attractive, hot. The way she said it. And then she said something else like "yeah, I want some of that dick" or something, it was the same kind of flirting she did with me a lot. But since we aren't together anymore, she still did that. It's fine. I didn't expect it though

She got drunk and passed out next to me. It's why I'm typing. I can't really forgive her. She knew how much anxiety I got and how I broke up with her for video chatting a dude flirting with her. And she said she wouldn't ever again. And she video chatted an ex and fell asleep on video chat with him. Yeah, that made me leave her. But she fought for me so hard and said she won't do that again and totally understood that it was actually pretty inappropriate of her to do that. She even told her ex (different one) she can't video chat him like that again. She was so loyal and tried to fix and accommodate

But

That was back then

So, she knew how much it hurt me. Yet... She did it again... And she texted the recent ex, video chatted. Even though she knew that would totally upset me. And see what happened? She got feelings. broken up with me. All this happened because I wasn't with her just one fucking day. So I can't see you for a day and you go and do that? It's so impulsive. You don't care about me like you say.

I asked if she wanted to be with him. She was trying to find words that wouldn't hurt. But they hurt worse than I thought. Instead of either saying yes or no... She said "I... I don't know" which means she had major feelings for him. I even asked. And she then took a moment to say this... But she said "I don't actually know who I have more feelings for right now, you, or him" and that murdered me. Look, she broke up with him, me and her are in a relationship, were I suppose now, but we were together for like 4 months, he wasn't around and he was annoying and creepy to you, you talked so much shit about him, hell you even said this night you video chatted him he was doing the same stupid shit that made her break up with him... And yet you're saying you have feelings for him that rival mine? Or that you have more feelings for him? Wtf about this 4 months we've been together everyday

I was nothing to you. You went behind my back dude. Did something that you knew would hurt me significantly

She got more drunk. We made out a little even though she didn't want to. But I was just as confused. I don't know why I did it. I have feelings still. But she got mean for some reason, she said my balls are tiny like the tip of my dick. And then she said "you're not even that cute" and I was like what the hell. She said it's cause I called her word that we use jokingly... But I was kidding. Cause she called me the word first anyway. I don't know though

But she cuddled me and said it's not fair that I'm the comfiest person ever. And she started praising me. I don't know

She made a joke too soon as well. We were joking that she is gay, And she said "I'm not gay at all, I got TWO dudes haha" and I said yeah you don't.

Too soon.

You can't just joke like that after cheating on me dude

She's drinking cause she's mad at herself

She said she wants time apart to work on herself. Not even a break, just break up, cause she doesn't know the outcome of this. It's totally likely to me she's going back to her ex in the future.

It's so obvious. I know it.

That hurts

I feel used. Completely used.

She fucked up so bad dude. So bad.

I have so much anxiety, do you know how much emotional pain I have to be in for it to turn into ACTUAL physical pain? Yeah. She did that. After all the promises that she'd never do this.

I can't look at her the same... She's knocked out next to me. And I just think... This isn't my love. This is someone else. This is someone fake, no, maybe the one I dated was the fake.

She's been saying that she realized she needs things to work on, on herself, how she's not good at expressing feelings. Things she needed to say but couldn't to me. She said that she was only giving me 75% of herself and she thinks it's unfair to do that. She wants to be her full self before being in a relationship. But the constant telling me not to wait makes me think it's all bullshit and that she just really doesn't want to be with me. If you really loved and cared about me like you said, you wouldn't have been able to leave me so easily. Hell, when you were upset before this, you said "as if I'd leave you for this, as if everything we've been through and said to each other doesn't mean shit" because I got drunk and said something dumb to her and I thought she'd leave me for being too drunk. But she had the same sentiment I do, yeah, I couldn't leave you BECAUSE of everything we've been through and been to each other these months... Yeah... What happened to that version of you? Where's that logic now? Cause it went out the window and you totally dumped me for something else. Because you went behind my back and cheated. You felt guilty. You still do. You fucked up. But you let me go so fast.

Horrible. I'd never do that to you.

I hate you, you know that?

She thought I hated her because she video chatted another guy before. And I said I didn't. Because it turned out okay since she hung up. But it was bad she answered when it wasn't a platonic dude at all.

She said she thought I hated her for that, she said I said that. I didn't hate her at that time, but... If you thought I hated you for video chatting said non platonic guy, then, you were aware how affected I was by that, and yet you STILL video chatted an ex and fucked up US because you got FEELINGS for him.

You fucking suck.

Also, she said that she actually wants to video chat guys, she doesn't even care if they like her or are into her, she says she just wants to and will. She said she'd only stop if they actually do something inappropriate. But in my head, you don't have to be that inappropriate for all that to be emotional cheating. And I hate that she's like this now. Yeah I can't cope with that especially when you promised you weren't like that and wouldn't do that. Hell, it made me fall for you even more.

You said something like guys were video chatting you a lot and hitting you up a lot only after you made your Facebook status single. That not many guys ever called her but as soon as she did that they flooded her.

Of course.

I told you.

My heart still hurts that you wouldn't put us as in a relationship. We were getting serious. And then you didn't give a fuck about me enough and cheated.

The last person I thought would ever cheat. I thought you could but I thought you wouldn't

#personal #relationships #heartbreak #heartache

[belfromhell]

@flying-toes and @leslipigeonoficial tagged me on this. Why am I doing it? I truly don’t know, but I love their blogs (go and follow them, now!) so I’ll do it with a smile on my face. (Btw sorry if there’s grammatical mistakes, english isn’t my first language).

Ps: @flying-toes is the one of the best persons I’ve met in this page, she’s so funny and sweet all the time! Ilysm girl, thanks for listening and care, ¡te adoro, eres genial!

rules: answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people.

I tag: @rubbersoles19 @fandom-weirdness-for-life @punk-rock-princess-626 @xjustahoneymoon @astronautswife @honeybun-holland @gweniings @mermaid-with-flowers-in-her-hair @s-sun-kissed @petersyoink @havikenhayes @pocketandheart @flylikeajetpack @lawryn-w @allisondra @danceratthestillpoint @tomhollandhollaatme @cassieandra0721 @dorkiustothemax @thebreenutgallery

I love lots of blogs but my memory is just shit so I’ll tag my last 20 followers instead.

the last

1. drink: a very strong lemonade. Basically a lot of lemon juice, a tiny bit of water and almost no sugar. LIKE THE REAL MACHOS.

2. phone call: My mom? I wanted to know how make chicken soup but we ended talking about my new neighbor and her annoying chihuahua. Never got my soup, though.

3. text message: a friend. She’s with her boyfriend’s family so basically she’s having a mental breackdown cause the mom of the boy hates her, lmao.

4. song you listened to: OMG NOOOO HAHAH. “Abrázame muy fuerte” by Juan Gabriel (we miss you mi amor :c).

5. time you cried: last night? I’ll be honest with you guys, I was reading a very emotional fanfic, it’s just science. I couldn’t help it.

6. dated someone twice: My ex, I think. Idk, I’ll date him again soon probably. I’ll use him to get free food and a Netflix account >:v

7. kissed someone and regretted it: LAST MONTH AND SHE’S MY EX LMAO. What can I say? She’s very nice and persuasive o-o

8. been cheated on: Never.

9. lost someone special: My great-grandmother passed away five years ago. I haven’t lost someone special since her, thank God.

10. been depressed: My life consist on been depressed and and angry 24/7

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Last week. I FINALLY GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL FUCKERS. (By fuckers I mean my teachers, I love you all okay?)

3 favourite colours

12. Black

13. Blue

14. Red

in the last year have you

15. made new friends: Yep. Some thanks to other friends, some others thanks to my habit of losing important stuff.

16. fallen out of love: No, I still love the same guy, so ???

17. laughed until you cried: Yesterday, my friend’s mother put INTENTIONALLY soap in his eyes.

18. found out someone was talking about you: YES, I WAS WAITING FOR THIS QUESTION. Last month, some girl was talking shit about my whole classroom, just because we are genious and her classmates are total toddlers. It was graduation practice, AND MY PALS AND I WERE CONGRATULATED, NOT YOU SMOL LIL SHIT.

19. met someone who changed you: I’m always making friends. On web sites, on the street, everywere, so I’m always changing cause all of them teach me something everyday, even if they are just being themselves. Watch and learn.

20. found out who your friends are: I’ll just say yes while I keep my eyes shut to avoid cry.

21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: yeah, me and my friends still play 7 Minutes in Heaven, so imagine how that turns out.

general

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I’ve had the same Facebook account for five or six years now, and I’ve being in lots of fandoms. So, to make it short maybe I know five hundred of the three thousand? My school was really big and I’m just a sucker for friends and new people. 

23. do you have any pets: Nop, my last pet was a cat called Noah but she run away. But I have lots of plants, does they count?

24. do you want to change your name: Nop, I’m Karla Belén and that’s how family calls me, but other people call me just Karla or Belén or derivations of those two. My closest friends call me Kiwi or Kabe. My teachers used my last name and all my doctors call me Belito. I love my name cause some people has take their valious time to make nicknames or they call me in a certain way cause maybe a thing I’ve made reminds them of something specific and I’m okay with that, so no, I don’t want to change my name.

25. what did you do for your last birthday: I was at my uncle’s house, the whole day we traveled with my parents to the capital, and when we arrived my aunt had cooked fried chicken. It was very simple but my dad let me drive a little bit and my mom was in a good mood, so it was really cute.

26. what time did you wake up: I stay till one am reading fanfics, so I usually wake at ten or eleven am.

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Talking with @flying-toes​ about my horrible life decisions.

28. name something you can’t wait for: Start college on September, if they answer my call this Monday. The rest of the MCU movies. Dinner.

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: Five minutes ago? She’s staying with me this days, but nah I don’t care really.

31. what are you listening to right now: I’m watching Parks and Recreation actually, so I’m listening to their voices?

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: Yes, my friend’s brother is called Tomás, but we call him Tom cause Tomás sounds really pretentious.

33. something that is getting on your nerves: My family, the college applications THAT HAVEN’T BEEN ANSWERED, not having money to waste in shits and stuff.

34. most visited website: AO3, Instagram, and Tumblr.

35. hair color: Black.

36. long or short hair: Both, I like long hair to make braids but I like short hair cause is easy to comb. Now I have it long but that may change next week if I feel like it.

37. do you have a crush on someone: TOM HOLLAND’S GOT MY HEART AND MY SOUL AT THE MOMENT.

38. what do you like about yourself: I’m determined, I like to think that we should all be aware that we are part of a larger project and we must do something about it, but something good, something that helps the rest and make the stay in the planet more enjoyable. I am committed and fight a lot for world problems. I go out to protests and stuff, but I hope to be a politician someday to work for people who are forgotten by people with power.

39. piercings: Nope, just normal earrings holes.

40. blood type: I truly don't know, I think I’m O-, or some weird thing cause the only time i’ve need blood we had to look for a donator cause my family isn't compatible.

41. nickname: Kiwi, Kabe, Belu, Belito, Flaca, Nena.

42. relationship status: Trying to return with my ex but failing.

43. zodiac: Capricorn.

44. pronouns: “she” “her”.

45. favourite tv show: Parks and Recreation, maybe.

46. tattoos: A little moon on my right hip.

47. right or left handed: right.

48. surgery: twice.

50. sport: HA! Noooooo.

51. vacation: My grandparents house is my perfect vacation place.

52. pair of trainers: Converse or Vans? I don’t care about shoes, honestly.

GENERAL

53. eating: I eat everything except for sardines.

54. drinking: I drink everyting.

55. I’m about to: Read some Spideychelle fics?

56. waiting for: UPDATES OF MY FAVORITE FICS. And the damn college card.

57. want: Love.

58. get married: I’m still a baby, but I really want to get married someday.

59. career: I just graduated high school, soy un Bachiller de la República del Ecuador :D, but I want to be a lawyer.

WHICH IS BETTER

60. hugs or kisses: Hugs.

61. lips or eyes: Eyes.

62. shorter or taller: I don’t care, but I prefer taller people cause I’m a little tall and people is dumb about it.

63. older or younger: I don’t care x2. Age it’s just a number, I’m still pretty inmature but I’ve know people of my age that is very responsible and older people that needs to get back to their parents house. 

64. nice arms or nice stomach: Nice heart? I like a nice body, but I don’t care x3 about aparience. If something or someone is cute, I like them. If they have fit bodies is cool, and is also cool if they don’t.

65. hookup or relationship: Relationship.

66. troublemaker or hesitant: TROUBLEMAKER AS FUUUUUCK. I have some strong opinios about delicate stuff and usually I get into trouble defending it.

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: Yeah, drunk or high.

68. drank hard liquor: Yeah, since I was fifteen probably.

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: Never, I can’t live without my glasses so I never leave them, at any moment.

70. turned someone down: Never.

71. sex on the first date: Never x2.

73. had your heart broken:It’s still broken but I'm pretending I'm fine reading lots of fanfics and going to the dentist.

74. been arrested: Once but I escaped before they called my parents or asked my name. I’m not proud of it but well...

75. cried when someone died: Yeah.

76. fallen for a friend: Yeah :(((

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself: Sometimes, when I’m sure that things will go okay, and if I’m not I just stay positive.

78. miracles: I don’t know, I’m not a religious person. But I think that sometimes things are meant to be and happens in weird ways that can be considered as miracles.

79. love at first sight: No, that’s bullshit.

80. santa claus: Nop, here in Ecuador we don’t believe in that. It’s something that foreign brought like a comercial thing.  

81. kiss on the first date: It deppends.

82. angels: Maybe.

OTHER:

84. eye colour: Dark brown.

85. favourite movie: El 49. In 1949 a earthquake shake and destroyed my city. Help was sent from all the country and from close countries but it never came. People with power taked those things and made total empires using all the provitions. But my city didn’t give up. People that lost everyting worked harder that ever and the next year the city was reconstructed and since that year we celebrate on February the FFF (Fiesta de las Flores y de las Frutas) that means Flower and Fruit Festival. I love that movie cause reflects all the pain of those poor citizens but the determination of the ambateños (My city is called Ambato, do the math). 

IF YOU GOT TO THE END YOU HAVE A LOT OF FREE TIME. THANKS FOR READING! If you think we have something in common you should send me a message. I’am always willing to talk or listen.

:D

#random

[fenfyre]

SUPERHERO ANTIHERO AND VILLAN POLY RELATIONSHIP

Ehehe … this has been on the list for a while *sweats*This fill is also for the lovely @nb-writer who wanted some enemies to friends to lovers EreJeanMarco and what kind of writer would I be if I didn’t at least try to combine these, right? _______________________________“This is it?”, Eren asked, eyeing the apartment building suspiciously.He was wearing that dark trench coat again, collar popped up against the harshNovember wind. “That’s the address my contact gave me”, Marco nodded, checking the message onhis phone for the fifth time. “He should be here. Do you think something’swrong?”Squinting up at the building Eren shrugged with one shoulder and made anon-committal noise. “Dunno. Weren’t you expecting something more … flashy?” Marco just frowned, not quite sure what Eren had in mind. “You know, impenetrable fortress, laser sharks?”, Eren offered with a sly grin,one dark eyebrow cocked even though it was only partly a joke. Maybe Marco had expected something a little bit different but that wouldn’tdistract him from the reason they were here. And neither would Eren’s dumbjokes, no matter how cute he looked with that grin on his face. “He’s a telekinetic bank robber, not Doctor Evil”, he said, rolling his eyeswith a huff that was just a bit too fond. “Come on now, don’t let your guarddown.”~It was hard to say when it all started.Maybe a few months ago, when news about the latest bad guy in town had begun tospread. Stories about several raids all over the city, all by the same man,masked but unarmed. Rumour had it that the heavily armoured doors of cashtransporters and even bank safes opened for him as if by magic, that he didn’teven have to carry the lock boxes and metal cases filled with money, that theyfloated behind him when he left the crime scene. They said nothing could hurthim, no bullets, no tasers, no direct hits, and that when he showed upsomewhere it was best to stay quiet and let him do what he wanted. Because, andthat seemed to be his only redeeming quality, he didn’t like to hurt people andhe wouldn’t if he didn’t have to.The local news stations called him Pyre, a morbid nod to his ability tospontaneously set objects around him on fire. It didn’t seem to happen all toooften but still enough to brand the alias for him. ~“Alright”, Marco said when they arrived at apartment 6B, voice low andgesturing for Eren to wait while he closed his eyes and concentrated for amoment. “He’s inside, probably not suspecting anything. How about we knock andtry to talk to him first?”For a second or two Eren just looked at him, blinking slowly, and Marco wastempted to think he accepted the plan. But then Eren scoffed and reached forhis gun to pull it from the holster strapped around his shoulder and chest.Before Marco could stop him he took a big step forward and kicked in the damnapartment door with a loud crash, metal screeching and wood splintering. Marco wasn’t even surprised. Grinding his teeth and breathing an annoyed huffhe stepped into the apartment behind Eren. ~It was a rainy night when Marco got to know Eren Jäger. He’d been chasing Pyre throughhalf the city after another attack on a cash transport. No casualties on thisone but crime was still crime and Marco was not about to make exceptions justbecause this particular villain seemed to have at least somewhat of a moralcode. But when he’d finally cornered Pyre in a closed off alleyway the man hadhurled two or three dumpsters at him before literally disappearing through awall, the bricks arranging an opening for him before going back to theirprevious state, cutting off the escape route. Of course Marco hadn’t given upand immediately turned to the fire escape, thinking that he might have a chanceof spotting the other man and finding a way to him from a higher position. Butthe metal stairs had warped under his feet, twisting and melting away withinseconds so that his only choice had been to throw himself to the side, crashingright through Eren Jäger’s window and onto his dinner table.~They stepped into a tiny living area barely managing to fit a couch, a TV set,a bookshelf and a messy desk tucked into one corner. Right next to the entrancewas a small kitchenette tiled in an ugly, dirty shade of turquoise and at theopposite end of the living space were two doors, one open and leading to whatlooked like a small bathroom, the other closed, probably hiding a bedroom.The man they were looking for sat on the couch, balancing a half-eatenmicrowave meal on his crossed legs while the bluish light of the TV flickeredacross his face and reflected off his crooked glasses. He was frozen in shock,fork halfway raised to his mouth which was open and gaping at them, eyes wideand disbelieving. Of course he wasn’t wearing his mask at home, an intricate thing in classicVenetian style, delicately decorated in shades of red and gold. But it wasdefinitely him, Pyre.Before Marco could say or do anything Eren spluttered, a noise between wonderand surprise and then he let out an amused laugh. “You … you live here?”~The problem with living in Trost was that there was always someone bigger and badderon the horizon and that telekinetically gifted robbers were the least of theirworries. So when someone or something began attacking open, crowded spaces,leaving bloodbaths but no traces of what kind of forces were behind the attacks,Marco’s focus soon shifted away from Pyre and on to bigger fish. Until Eren reminded him of the man responsible for him having to replace aliving room window and the exceptional powers he possessed. Sometimes self-proclaimedheroes had to make sacrifices and sometimes those sacrifices involved buildingan alliance not just with ex cops who were way too young to be this jaded butalso with small scale villains, as long as they were promising enough.~“If I…”, Pyre sputtered back, eyebrows quickly crinkling together in a frown. “Youshould know, asshole. You just kicked down my fucking door!” He didn’t evenflinch at the sight of the gun pointed directly at him. But why should he,bullets couldn’t hurt him. He’d just reflect any projectiles and send them backwhere they came from. In this case to Eren and Marco.“Man and I thought this place was a dump when I saw the outside!”, Eren drawledwith a crooked grin that was way too attractive, considering that now wasdefinitely not the time to get distracted like this. Marco reached out a steadyhand and placed it on Eren’s shoulder, reminding him to stay calm. “Excuse you?” Pyre cocked his head and placed the plastic dish on the couchnext to him before getting to his feet. The remote on the side table trembledlightly and Marco wasn’t sure if that was a natural movement or not. “I’d liketo see you afford living at the Hilton’s while paying your way throughuniversity!”, he spat, taking a confident step towards them. There wasn’t muchspace between them now, considering how tiny the whole apartment was. “Is that why you robbed those banks?”, Marco asked, the absurd explanationputting itself together in his head. Pyre’s eyes shifted to regard him for thefirst time, eyebrows shooting up before he sighed.“Shit, not you again…”“Are you robbing banks to pay for university?”, Marco repeated, too stunted tolet this go. He was sure there were lots of other explanations of what mighthappen to the money, where it went if not into this apartment. But the nextmoment Pyre rolled his eyes and shrugged, hands coming to rest on his hips in asomewhat defensive posture.“I’m getting my PhD in applied physics so yeah, I have an assload of studentloans. I’m sure as hell not doing that shit so I can go on vacation on the Maldives.”“Who knows”, Eren scoffed, still not lowering his gun, no matter how pointlessit was in this scenario. Pyre squinted his eyes at him and Marco got ready to shove Eren out of the wayif necessary, even though they had both agreed that Pyre probably wouldn’t gettoo violent without being explicitly prompted to. And indeed the man acrossfrom them quickly relaxed and shrugged again.“You know what? I don’t care what you think. But stop waving that thing in myface, I hate that.”With nothing more than a flick of his eyes the gun was ripped from Eren’s handsand thrown across the room, clip falling out and landing in a different corner.“What do you want?”, Pyre asked and now he was almost bored even though hiseyes still had a pissed sparkle. Probably because they had destroyed his frontdoor. “We want to … propose an alliance”, Marco said, keeping his voice firm andconfident. They might be at a disadvantage but the man standing across fromthem wasn’t a real danger, at least not at the moment. And their plan was forthe greater good, after all. They might as well try and do what they’d comefor. No matter how unfortunate their introduction.A whole array of expressions flickered across Pyre’s face in the span ofseconds which gave Marco an opportunity to study that face more closely. He was thinner than expected. Paler, too. His cheekbones were high andpronounced and his jawline finely cut. There was something attractive about hislithe frame, even more so if he would have appeared a little healthier. Ohwell, at least he looked the part of stressed doctoral student. After a moment or two of contemplation the man seemed to have come to a decisionand gave a stiff nod.“Okay, let’s talk. But first close the damn door, I don’t care how.” Part II[If you enjoyed this story, please consider buying me a coffee

#EreJeanMarco #Marco Bodt #Jean Kirschtein #Eren Jäger #superhero au #enemies to friends to lovers #prompt #filled prompt #superpowers #telekinesis #pyrokinesis #Eren can punch things really hard and has superhuman regeneration #and Marco is an immutable badass #so he's basically invincible and immune to everything #he's our hero if you didn't notice #man it is so hard to portray such a long relationship development like enemies to friends to lovers in such a short fic? #i feel like i sucked because obviously there's more to the story #like how they fight the big bad together and Jean heroically protects his idiots #and barely survives and shit #super dramatic super cliche superhero story okay #nothing special but ... in EJM #anyway let me stop my ramblings now