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elysiansparadise · 1 year

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Vesta: Your inner flame

⚶ Vesta asteroid [4] can show our talents, abilities and in which area of our life we should focus our energy or in which we usually focus our energy. Commitment and dedication, as well as the area of life or the aspects in which we focus our entire being. It is the area of your life in which you are willing to make sacrifices no matter what, in order to achieve the goal. In this post I will talk a little about the attributed talents. By sign I will speak of the way in which we do what we are most passionate about. By house, the area of our life in which we focus the most. ⚶

🟤Vesta in Aries: They are very passionate and active people who put all their energy when they have an idea in mind. The idea can arise spontaneously and as soon as they have it they can put it into action. They dislike doing things with a set routine and prefer to act creatively and figure things out on the go. They make their ideas actions and it bothers them to feel that they are only daydreaming about something instead of doing something. They may have a talent for a particular sport/physical activity, motivating themselves and others, and leadership. People with this placement are very focused once something captures their attention and they are quick to carry out an activity that they like. These natives dislike that others want to control how they do things or what they do, they stand out for their independence when it comes to carrying out a project of any kind.

🟫Vesta in 1st house: They are people who are very focused on learning more about themselves, getting to know each other from head to toe, and having a clear idea of who they are. They are true to themselves, they seek to stay productive and do what they want without caring much what others say. They put their energy in themselves, have a clear self-concept defined and they enter the journey towards that search for their true identity. They may have a talent for leadership, the ability to charisma, can help others find themselves and follow their own path and heart. They are focused on achieving independence, expressing themselves in an uninhibited way, and distancing themselves from the opinion or expectations of others.

🟤Vesta in Taurus: They are people who take their time to do things, they find it difficult to focus at first, but once they do, they are persevering, constant and determined to complete that activity or task. For them, achieving security, stability and comfort is the goal. They may have skills and talents for activities that require concentration and the use of their hands, such as drawing, crafts, pottery, painting, or playing an instrument. It usually takes some time before they decide to start bringing an idea to life, for fear that they won't be able to do their idea as they have it. Working on things they like makes them feel better about themselves, and when they finish something satisfactorily they feel a boost in their self-esteem. They may have a talent for handling money, for some art or as I mentioned previously, in an activity that has to do with the hands.

🟫Vesta in 2nd house: Some of the talents they may have are singing, for organization, investing [or for business related topics] and looking for creative ways to earn money. They are people who work daily on their self-esteem and know that hard work will lead them to have the economic stability they desire. They stand out for their loyalty and for that way of, even without realizing it, giving a lot of security to those they love. They do not go into projects, jobs or work on ideas that they know have no purpose, they like the tangible and the real. They protect what they have worked hard to achieve and are very focused on improving what they already have. They like to know that they have a safe place and always seek to do what makes them feel happy and more complete.

🟤Vesta in Gemini: They can have multiple ideas at the same time, their mental energy is high and they tend to be very productive and restless intellectually. They prefer to use their reason over their hearts when it comes to making an important decision, as they can be very objective. They are great communicators and highly capable, have a unique ability to verbalize their ideas, are resourceful, creative, and perform wonderfully when it comes to teamwork. They do not have a defined style of work, they can alternate between being spontaneous or organized. They may have many interests in mind, making it difficult for them to stick with one in particular. Multi-talented, they may have skills in many different fields. Great ability to connect people. They can get a lot of happiness if they make their hobby a job or vice versa. Talented writers or speakers.

🟫Vesta in 3rd house: Passionate about learning, they love learning about new ideas and concepts and are easy to understand. Great talents to learn new things quickly, talent for writing, public speaking and everything that involves communicating effectively. Their mind is restless, but that allows them to be able to focus on many things at once, that is, they run the risk of being easily distracted. They can be socially skilled, but they need some alone time afterwards, their alone time is something they enjoy doing many different activities. They can be passionate about reading and they can always have something to read on hand [books, notes, or internet articles]. They can help others by contributing unique ideas, as they are very creative.

🟤Vesta in Cancer: They tend to put their whole heart when it comes to doing something they are passionate about, they are tenacious and get a lot of emotional comfort when they do what they love the most. Their hobbies can be their safe place and can bring them a lot of satisfaction. They may have a talent for psychology, cooking and some arts, as they capture emotions in a satisfactory way. They take their emotions and those of others very seriously, plus they have a very special way of understanding other people's needs with ease. They highly value their space and may feel more comfortable and more creative when alone. Some of them can see their performance affected when they are not emotionally well, they can even take a break, because they want to be one hundred to dedicate themselves consciously and totally. They deeply care about the well-being of those they love.

🟫Vesta in 4th house: Their family is very important to them, and not necessarily the biological one, but the people they consider family (friends for example), they are very devoted to people who feel a very strong emotional bond. It is important for them to understand their own emotions and the emotions of those they love. They spend a lot of time doing activities that make their inner child feel happy, perhaps doing things they enjoyed doing as children or eating things that remind them of their childhood. They are very protective people with children or people they perceive as vulnerable. They may have a talent for making others feel comfortable and happy, dealing with children, cooking, or writing. They focus on healing their inner child.

🟤Vesta in Leo: These natives are highly creative and very spontaneous when it comes to getting going when doing something. The gratitude of others upon noticing the native's good deeds can greatly motivate them, they can get annoyed if they feel that others don’t appreciate them, their efforts or if others don’t give as much energy in the matter / work / relationship as them. They will always look for the key to happiness and they will do many activities to feel happy. They put a lot of energy into feeling satisfied with themselves and with what they do. They feel the need to do things their way and although authority doesn't bother them, it is more that they need to feel that they can express themselves through doing what they are passionate about. This placement can give charisma and the power to stand out doing what the person is most passionate about.

🟫Vesta in 5th house: These people put their all into it when it comes to their hobbies, they may excel at more than one activity and have many artistic interests. Usually seen as multi-talented, passionate, as well as very good at whatever it is they do. To be efficient and work excellently, it is necessary for them to really enjoy what they are doing, so it is recommended that they look for jobs or study things that they are really passionate about. In case they decide to be parents, they will be excellent and they will put all their attention and care in seeing their children grow and love unconditionally. Very devoted people in love and at first they can be somewhat shy/it can be difficult for them to open up, but they can be very understanding lovers and willing to support their partner.

🟤Vesta in Virgo: Regardless of other traits of their personality, if they are really interested in or passionate about something, they can be very perfectionists and demanding of themselves, they will always want to give their best in everything related to what they are passionate about. They will seek to be the best version of themselves and feel competent to perform whatever they like. Despite this and how independent they may seem, they will not hesitate to lend a hand if the other needs it. They give themselves body and soul to causes they feel worthwhile and like to feel useful and productive. This is a very productive placement of Vesta, as it feels comfortable in this sign. They prefer to work in a quiet place, in order and efficiently, noise or very chaotic environments can stress them out. They are capable of giving absolutely everything if the situation requires it. Silently passionate.

🟫Vesta in 6th house: They like to be there for others and support them. They probably have a job that they are truly passionate about or at the very least, it is important for them to work on something that they genuinely love. They may have a gift for understanding and caring for animals and may like them very much. Talent for design, organization, healing and understanding of complex ideas. It's crucial for them to do a great job, otherwise they don't feel good about themselves. They take great care of their body and their health, for them there is nothing more important than their emotional and physical well-being. They are very detailed when it comes to doing something, they put a lot of time and effort.

🟤Vesta in Libra: It is necessary for them to function in places with harmony and peace, tense and angry environments can make them nervous and deteriorate their performance. They actively work to have an internal balance and seek to find that middle ground between channeling their energy into themselves and others. They are people with a talent for relating to different types of people, a talent for any branch of art and for giving beauty to anything. They take their relationships seriously, are highly committed, and expect that same level of devotion from the other person. They may prefer to work together or make their work space aesthetically pleasing, for example, by decorating their surroundings. They are passionate, but they do not go out of their way or work more than is considered healthy for them, they prioritize their well-being and comfort. Perceived as elegant without trying.

🟫Vesta in 7th house: They have a great ability to understand the other very well, great diplomacy, charisma and talents to mediate any type of situation. They are somewhat selective with whom they leave within their closest circle, but they like to give their all in their relationships of any kind, especially those in which they see themselves in the long term. They work to maintain harmony and make both the other person and themselves feel comfortable in the relationship. If problems arise, they will seek to resolve them effectively. They do a lot of introspection and are able to see all sides of themselves even if it might be difficult. It is important for natives to create a balance between what they give and what they receive.

🟤Vesta in Scorpio: They give their all when they are passionate about something, giving 200% in everything they consider important. They are private when they have plans, projects or passions and they only confide them with people they really trust. They may prefer to undertake ideas or projects on their own, especially if they are very personal or significant to them. One of the most loyal placements of Vesta, they respect privacy and constantly care for their relationships. Passionate, they immerse themselves in their passions, falling into the risk of distancing themselves from other issues in their lives or not giving them the indicated attention. Talent for spiritual matters, especially healing people or for the tarot. Highly developed intuition. Much wisdom. They are very sexual people who are not afraid of touching topics of this nature, intense and attentive lovers.

🟫Vesta in 8th house: They are fascinated by topics that others do not dare to touch or explore, mysteries can attract a lot of attention. Criminology, psychology, occultism, spirituality or sexology. They possess great curiosity and may not rest until they know the truth. These people consciously or subconsciously seek emotional intensity. As for sex, they tend to seek a deeper connection with their partners and enjoy the idea of knowing and stimulating every corner of their beloved's body. They may have a more spiritual vision of death, believe in reincarnation or beliefs of that nature. They are aware that death is something we will all go through, so they may have the idea of wanting to enjoy themselves without inhibition.

🟤Vesta in Sagittarius: It is easy for them to feel motivated to start a project, do what they are passionate about or make their ideas a reality, the complicated thing can be to finish the action. They are very enthusiastic and creative people when it comes to doing what they like, no matter how serious they are in their day to day, you will see that sparkle in their eyes when they talk about what they like or when they do their favorite activity. They focus on acquiring more knowledge, more wisdom, on their dreams and ideas and on enjoying life. They may have a talent for learning new languages, generally for learning many things quickly, for teaching and for motivating people. They are people very devoted to their ideologies and with a strong sense of what is right. They enjoy learning about and experiencing new things and stand out for being open minded.

🟫Vesta in 9th house: Many of these natives feel a desire and an itch to learn about the complex issues of life, to see beyond what the school or their parents may have told them, to search for a deeper meaning or a reason for what happens to them. around. They may have skills in the humanities, learning new languages, debating, and teaching others. They may have an interest in the law and may fall under the label of a knowledgeable and curious person. They love all those activities that allow them to continue acquiring knowledge. They may love to travel or experience different cultures. They like to continue acquiring wisdom and spirituality can be very important to them, they will be very devoted to their beliefs.

🟤Vesta in Capricorn: It is crucial for these natives to be in a calm environment to feel completely comfortable, ironically they project to others the ability to work efficiently regardless of the chaos of the place. They are very constant and if they consider that something can augur something stable and f they see a purpose, they will give absolutely everything. Another Vesta placement commonly attributed to loyalty. These people are very hard workers, if you have a lot of tense aspects, especially Moon or Saturn, they don't let their emotional upset get in the way and can suppress their emotions in order to do what they have to do. Talents for organization, planning, strategy, they have a privileged analytical mind. They resist temptations easily, have great abilities to concentrate and to make people under their charge complete a task successfully. They give stability to others.

🟫Vesta in 10th house: For these people it is crucial to do something to get what they want, they like to feel productive and have a rational approach to their passions. They believe in hard work, especially if they are looking for a reward. They put a lot of their energy into things that can be useful to them in the long term, they like to play it safe and fight for things or people that are really worthwhile for them, because they don't waste their time or energy. High chances of working on something they really like. They can help many people through their work, or throughout life they can help many even without realizing it. Skills to bring comfort to people, leadership and to organize and put order in any chaos.

🟤Vesta in Aquarius: They like the idea of doing things their own way and are often drawn to activities that allow them to express themselves freely and at the same time do not make them feel as pressured. They can work just as well in a team as on their own, but may prefer to do things independently. They may have a talent for astrology, branches of science, or anything related to the humanities. They tend to do things with their own rules and do not like to follow a scheme, a plan or an order, as there is a tendency to get carried away when it comes to following a passion. They may have writing, computer, or digital art skills. They have this spark that allows them to unite people, they have a certain social charm. They are always willing to help others, and although they are not quick to trust, their friendly and charming personality makes them make favorable impressions on others.

🟫Vesta in 11th house: They are people with many aspirations and long-term goals, they actively work on them. They stand out for their creativity and ability to come out with innovative and intriguing ideas. Friendship is something that they value with all their soul and they will always try to be there for who their friends are, they can play the role of counselor and they will have an attentive and caring personality towards them. They are very compassionate with people and they like to unconditionally support causes that need it, they can give them a lot of support through social networks or by spreading the word. They may spend a lot of time on the internet and may have hobbies or a job that allows them to connect with many through it.

🟤Vesta in Pisces: These natives can lose track of time and what is happening around them, because they immerse themselves entirely in topics that they are really passionate about, they put their soul, all their attention and all their emotions into it. Actively seek to make the world a better place. They empathize with others and love the idea of helping others overcome difficult situations. They devote themselves to the task of supporting those they consider vulnerable or offering their support and understanding to those who love. A remarkable talent for art and spirituality, it is difficult for them to express their emotions but they do so in a remarkable way through these media. Easy to connect with the emotions and psyche of other people. Unique ability to heal the discomfort or sadness of others, great listeners and excellent counselors. Focus a lot on dreams and have a rich imagination.

🟫Vesta in 12th house: They are passionate about what is not easily perceptible by others, what goes beyond, what each person keeps in their heart, spirituality, the deep meanings of life, art or music they listen to, the root of social problems and their own emotional problems. Major healing placement of Vesta, a comforting person who knows how to understand and guide people. Great wisdom, altruistic and sensitive to their peers. They work hard when it comes to their dreams, they are very creative people with an interesting inner world and a mind full of complex and fascinating ideas. Interest in introspection and a need to constantly analyze their past and the things that have happened in order to understand themselves better.

🟫Vesta aspecting the Sun: These people are very devoted to things they are passionate about, have a loyal personality, and are very reliable and trustworthy. For them it is important to work on themselves, be it improving themselves, getting to know themselves better or developing their individuality. They may seem shy or focused on their own matters at first, as they don't really mind being on their own. They are very creative people and can tend to put a bit of themselves, a piece of their soul into everything they do.

🟫Vesta aspecting the Moon: These people need good environments, harmony both in their surroundings and emotionally to be able to concentrate. Emotions can direct the outcome of their actions and level their productivity. Unique way of understanding both their own emotions and those of others. These aspects show us someone who is very devoted, loyal and attentive to their personal relationships. Constant and balanced emotional world.

🟫Vesta aspecting Mercury: These aspects give a brilliant mind, full of ideas and always seems to be active, sometimes too much. They love to share their ideas with others and that others do the same. These people become very devoted to learning, either always trying to be good students or keep learning about various subjects that interest them. Tense aspects may indicate that the native is easily distracted.

🟫Vesta aspecting Venus: They can have many artistic talents, a lot of charisma when it comes to relating to others and even skills in managing finances. Honesty and transparency are crucial for them in a relationship. Very loyal in their relationships and always work to make them better. Tense aspects can cause the native to alternate between wanting a relationship and not wanting it, so they think better if they open up to having a relationship. They respect their space and their partner’s without forgetting to seek the relationship.

🟫Vesta aspecting Mars: They have excellent abilities to focus their energy in a healthy and constant way on their goals or actions, they are very energetic when it comes to doing things they like. Sex for them is important, but it isn’t something they feel they can have with just anyone, because they want it to mean something deeper for them. They may work hard or keep busy to cope with inner tension or anger. Very good at working under pressure.

🟫Vesta aspecting Jupiter: They possess much inner wisdom and have a natural attraction to the complex and spiritual issues of life. They can be very lucky if they decide to work on things related to their passions. Talent to learn languages and easy to connect with people from other cultures. Very devoted people to the idea of always doing the right thing, fair and considerate of people. Good karma may come quickly to them.

🟫Vesta aspecting Saturn: They are very persevering, constant and responsible people once they commit to something or someone. They can be very perfectionists with themselves, because they want to do their best and be the best version of themselves. They may take time to do things, but the results promise to be very good. May have a hard time starting some things for fear of not being prepared or not having enough skill or knowledge.

🟫Vesta aspecting Uranus: Need to put their own touch on everything they are passionate about, may prefer to work independently and feel inspired suddenly and when they least expect it. Difficulty concentrating on just one subject, tendency to multitask and be easily distracted. May procrastinate, especially with hard aspects. Difficulty focusing on day to day activities. They do not like to be ordinary, nor the routine.

🟫Vesta aspecting Neptune: They tend to be artistic people with a lot of potential in this area, in the same way they can have a great spiritual world and be very devoted to their beliefs. They are people with a lot of compassion who believe that by contributing their grain of sand they can help improve the world. They have high emotional intelligence and easily understand others. They put a piece of their soul into everything they do.

🟫Vesta aspecting Pluto: They keep their passions private, but feel more joy and satisfaction when they put one of them into practice. They have a lot of inner power, they can influence, change or transform others/their minds through doing what they are passionate about. Very sexual despite the impression they may give, sex is a memorable experience with them. May have an interest in the occult, mysteries, astrology, tarot or similar topics.

🟫Vesta aspecting Rising: With a loyal, constant and productive personality, they always seem to be on the go or with something in progress. They are passionate about the idea of knowing themselves more and more, they can seek to know everything about themselves and have a realistic and positive self-concept. Independence is something crucial for them, they need their space. They have a strong sense of identity, not easily influenced.

🟫Vesta aspecting Midheaven: They can be seen as very reserved people, there is a touch of purity mixed with confidence and certainty of where they want to go. They give the impression of being very productive and professional. They give their all when it comes to their career, they are hard workers and can make a job out of their passion. They are very productive and prefer to believe in making their own miracles happen.

🟫Vesta aspecting North Node: They live in the constant search for their life purpose, this may be linked to work or dedicate themselves to what they are most passionate about, either professionally or as a hobby. Their mission in life is related to forming a hard-working, devoted personality. They can achieve great things doing what they are passionate about. Helping others also seems to be an important issue in their soul development.

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ms-taurusvenus · 1 year

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Moon Observations - Part 2

Moon-NN must learn to feel and express their emotions in this lifetime in order to fulfil their destiny.

Aquarius Moons are particularly inspired and creative at night.

Writing and talking to friends/communicating with others is often the best coping mechanisms for 3H Moon.

Leo Moons frequently take pride in their relationship with their mothers.

Scorpio Moons have a good eye for things and enjoy having an aesthetic, they're just chilling with their RBF and minding their own business, in their own world while looking at a Piinterest board on their aesthetic

Moon-Saturn aspects may be taught how to express their emotions properly. They are also quite sensitive but come across as cold because they are unsure how to properly express their emotions.

5H Moons can be very connected to their inner child and suffer from baby fever.

Virgo Moons may tend to be very wise and witty.

Negative Moon-Mercury aspects are often cautious about what they say and can easily become overwhelmed when discussing certain topics. Particularly if Mercury is in retrograde.

The appearance of Air Moons eyes tend to be very playful

If you wanna be taken care of like no other, get yourself a Cancer, Virgo, Capricorn, and Leo Moon. This applies to placements in these signs as well.

Those with Moon-MC aspects either don't like people knowing their emotions and want the. to concentrate on their career, or they aren't afraid of being vulnerable. They are often very protective and private about their family, as well as protective of their family that others are aware of

Taurus Moons are fond of fluffy blankets and stuffed animals.

1H Moons struggle with expressing their emotions; many are afraid that someone will see them and associate their emotions with their identity.

If you want a chaotic neutral ride or die friend, become close/best friends with a Gemini Moon because often times the moment they feel comfortable doing things and expressing themselves with you, talking about anything and everything including how they feel and their emotions, you got a ride or die friend.

Aries Moons are known to move in silence when they are passionate about something. Because of this, they enjoy surprising people and exceeding others expectations.

Pisces Moons prefer to sleep or daydream in order to cope with their emotions.

Libra Moons/7H Moons/Cancer Moons/4H Moons enjoy both taking care of others and being taken care of.

Those with Moon-Mars aspects' emotions frequently influence their actions.

Sagittarius Moons can sometimes be petty.

2H Moons frequently enjoy taking a nice bath or going shopping when they are feeling down. They also have a lot of insecurities when it comes to how they treat themselves, depending on how the Moon is aspected.

People typically adore Libra Moons.

When they aren't feeling well or someone messes up their schedule and routine, 6H Moons may become upset and have their mood ruined.

Capricorn Moons find comfort and happiness when they are rewarded for their success; when they are down, they often look back at their past successes and achievements and strive to work harder, even though they already give 110% in everything they do.

A lot of 9H Moons like to look at real estate from different countries and imagine themselves living in that country, in that home they've looked at and want/apples to them the most whenever they're bored.

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lustspren · 11 months

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Queen of Hearts ft Jihyo, Dahyun

length: 13k words✦

Jihyo, Dahyun & Male Reader.

genres: dom! Jihyo, sub! Dahyun, threesome, blowjob, lesbian, oral sex, dirty talk, titjob, voyeur, creampie, slight fluff, slight squirt, ✧

✦✧✦✧✦✧

For a reserved and shy person, college, as well as high school, could be either a normal experience, or hell on earth itself. Fortunately for you, the second case never came to pass. Not because of you, nor because of how the society on campus behaved towards you, but because of a person who was with you from the first moment you met her, and who had never let you down even until now, when you were already in the room. semester of your degree.

Kim Dahyun was sitting next to you at the desk, her hair in a messy bun and her glasses on as she wrote notes in her notebook. You had an important exam in two weeks, and you were doing your best to find the best methods, and find the best possible way to retain as much information as possible. You had an open book of Theoretical History of Urbanism, and you were helping her to highlight the most important points.

You had installed a fully adjustable and customizable LED lighting system in the bedroom, it was at a dim level, fulfilling the perfect level of relaxation and concentration that you needed. The light that you lacked to read was complemented by a table lamp with a flexible arm, which pointed directly towards your hands.

The conversation was not something recurring during your study sessions, only for specific things, but you really valued that a lot. You weren't exactly good at socializing, you lacked charisma, eloquence, and conversational skills, but with Dahyun that was never a problem. She would always get you out of trouble when you tried to talk, she would bring up topics for you to talk about, she would make you feel comfortable, and most importantly, she would never pressure you to behave in a way that you weren't. She appreciated you and cared for you, just the way you were.

You rarely questioned yourself, but with her you could never understand if what you felt was pure and simple brotherly love, or if it was something more. A lot of times she was a little of one thing, and a lot of times a little of the other, but they both had one thing in common: she was by far your favorite person. You couldn't feel safe with anyone but her, and when you didn't have her close to you, you didn't feel complete.

"I think we can stop for now..." Dahyun said quietly, not breaking the calm atmosphere you were in, "Do you want me to prepare something to eat?" She put the pencil to the side of the notebook and looked at you.

"I don't know, are you hungry?" you asked, your eyes still on the book as you looked at the illustrations.

"Pretty much, yes," she sighed, "I'll make ramyeon."

"Uh... do you need help?" You looked up to meet her eyes for a second, but instantly lowered them to look elsewhere. Eye contact made you extremely nervous, making it impossible for you to look someone in the eye for more than 5 seconds.

"No, silly," she smiled, ruffling your hair, "just come with me, I don't want to be alone in the kitchen," you just nodded.

You and Dahyun were roommates from a few months after you met in college. It was a nice, cozy, medium-sized apartment that was about 10 minutes by bus from the university. It belonged to Dahyun's aunt, but she had let her use it since she was moving to China for work. At the time you were looking for a small apartment to rent, but Dahyun was a bit pushy with you, and you really weren't too sure even when you accepted the proposal, but to this day you had absolutely no regrets.

Coexistence was perfect in all aspects, she respected your personal spaces and you respected hers, and despite the fact that you shared a bedroom, there was never a single argument or awkward moment between the two of you.

You went out and into the kitchen, and Dahyun turned on the light while you sat on a stool with your phone in hand. She opened one of the cupboards next to the oven and took out two bowls of instant ramyeon to set on the worktop. She then took out a small pot, filled it with water and put it on one of the burners to wait for it to boil.

"Are you... nervous about the exam?" she asked, leaning back against the worktop.

"A little..." you replied, scrolling down to twitter on your phone.

"Why? You haven't failed at anything so far, you're an excellent student!"

"I've passed everything with the bare minimum," you sighed.

"But you've been passing, haven't you?" she giggled nervously, "it's the important thing."

"I know... but I'm always afraid of failing, I don't like it," she took a few steps forward and gently pinched your cheek.

"Hey, everything's going to be alright, okay?" She said in a low, reassuring voice, "You know I've got your back, besides, we're in this together, literally."

You looked up to see her for a moment, and not knowing what to say, you just gave her a small smile when you returned your eyes to the screen of your phone. She stood there for a few more seconds, you noticed that she wanted to say something, but she finally turned around and went back to look at the pot.

It took about two minutes for the water to boil. Dahyun turned off the heat, then opened the two bowls of ramyeon, took out the seasoning packets, and poured the water into both. She then opened the envelopes one by one, and poured the contents onto the ramyeon. She opened a drawer to her left, took out two stainless steel chopsticks and set them to the side of the bowls, then covered them. It took an additional five minutes or so for the ramyeon to be done.

"There you go..." Dahyun said, setting down your bowl of ramyeon on the counter in front of you, with the two chopsticks inside, "bon appetit!"

"Thank you," you nodded, placing the phone on your lap and reaching for the chopsticks to stir the noodles.

The next few minutes were as silent as ever as you ate any meal at any time. Dahyun knew that you didn't like to talk while eating, and she was completely silent at all times. This would have continued to be the case, had it not been for an unexpected notification from her that arrived on her phone. You weren't going to pay attention at first since what she did with her phone was none of your business, but seeing her read the text she just received so attentively and seriously piqued your curiosity. You looked sideways as she wrote, and then saw her face for a second as you lifted some noodles to your mouth.

"Something happens?" you asked while chewing, but covering your mouth with the back of your hand.

"Wait..." she mumbled, still typing for a few more seconds, "Okay," she put the phone down and turned to face you, "Do you want to go to a party?"

"What? No, you know I don't," you answered convincingly, before going back to eat some of your noodles.

"It's just, ugh," she settled into the chair and moved her closer to you, "It's not a party, it's more of a…" she thought for a moment, "a private meeting."

"Whatever it is, I don't want to go," you said again, completely sure and firm in your position.

"It's a good friend of mine's birthday," Dahyun said in a low, listless voice, as if she was resigned that you weren't going to give in no matter how hard she tried, "I've known her since we were kids!

"Then why don't you go by yourself?" you asked, eyes on the noodles. You wanted water, they were a bit spicy.

"You're my… best friend," Dahyun said that with some difficulty on each syllable, "I really want you to meet her, and well, I'd be so excited if you went with me."

"Dahyun…" you dropped the chopsticks, and clasped your hands in your lap to give her your attention, "I… it's not my vibe, really," you shook your head, "I don't feel comfortable around people who I don't know."

"I wouldn't part with you at any time, you know that right?" She placed her hand on your wrist, and you watched her press her fingers lightly around it, "Besides, I wouldn't make you go somewhere I know you'd hate."

"You don't even know how everything will be."

"I know Jihyo, the craziest thing I've ever seen her do is drink straight from a vodka bottle."

"Does that seem little to you?"

"Compared to what other girls her age do, yes," she shrugged.

"I… I don't know, Dahyun," you started breathing slightly faster, you were getting anxious.

"Hey, hey," she cupped your face with both hands and made you look straight into her eyes, longer than you were used to, "Do you trust me?"

"I-I..." you tried to take your gaze away from her, but she kept fixing your eyes on hers.

"Just answer me, please..." the soft touch of her hands and her sweet voice made you gradually relax, to the point where your breathing returned to normal.

"Yes… I do, more than anyone," you replied, now taking a deep breath as you concentrated on holding her gaze.

"Then you know I'll do everything I can to make you feel good," she stroked her thumbs over your cheeks, "and we can leave whenever you want if that's not the case."

"Whenever I want?"

"Yes, I promise," she nodded, and then you noticed that she stared at your lips for a few seconds before returning her gaze to your eyes.

"I…" you sighed, thinking hard about your answer, "alright, I'll go," you nodded.

"Really?!" she squealed excitedly with a beaming smile on her face, letting go of your face to jerk to her feet, "Ahhhh! Thank you thank you thank you!" She lunged at you and nearly knocked you off your stool, wrapped her arms around your neck, and pulled you into a tight hug. You froze completely for a moment, and seconds later you wrapped your arms around her torso to return the hug.

"Yeah, yeah… it's okay," you said quietly, cheek resting against her chest, "And when is it?"

"In an hour."

"What?!" you never raised your voice, but there were small exceptions. Dahyun broke away from you, and sat back down in her chair.

"Yeah, sorry," she laughed a bit nervously, "she told me at the last minute."

"God, Kim Dahyun..." you put two fingers to your septum, closed your eyes, and sighed.

"It's okay if we're a little late, don't stress," she reached her hand up to your forehead and poked you with her middle finger, "come on, finish your meal."

You wanted to say something else, but you decided to shut up and save energy for the tremendously long night that was ahead of you. You and her finished your ramyeon bowls in no time, and as soon as you did, you left the chopsticks in the dishwasher and discarded the bowls.

"Are you going to shower first or...?" Dahyun asked.

"No, you go first, don't worry," you nodded toward the hallway.

"Very good, but go planning what you are going to wear, okay?"

"I'll try," you sighed.

—----------------------------------

What the hell were you going to wear? The reality was that you never frequented places or meetings of this type, so the simple fact of dressing for the occasion was already complicated enough for you. You stayed sitting on the edge of your bed, analyzing the best options. You lost track of time, so it was a good few minutes before Dahyun walked into the bedroom with a towel wrapped around her milky body.

"Uhm, what are you supposed to be doing?" she asked, standing next to you and looking where you were looking.

"I don’t know what to wear."

"Oh come on," she crouched down carefully, placing a hand on her chest to keep the towel from falling off, "just put those shoes on, with those pants, and that cute sweater you always wear."

"The blue one?"

"The blue one," she nodded.

"Okay, I'm sorry," you sighed, "It's just… you know."

"Yeah, I know, you don't have to apologize silly," she stood up again and squeezed your cheek with two fingers, "Now cover your eyes, please."

You fell back on the bed, grabbed a nearby T-shirt and pulled it over your face to completely block your vision. You waited patiently for a few minutes, fiddling with your hands as you once again seriously reconsidered whether to go or not.

"Can I see now?" you asked.

"Give me a second," you heard a click, then a small silence, and then another click, "done."

You took the shirt off your face and stood up again, the first thing that caught your attention was the color contrast between the walls of your bedroom with Dahyun's outfit, all shades of yellow. A dark striped champagne skirt a little above her knees, a lemon yellow sleeveless top with small white squares, and a headband of the same color on her head.

"Wow, you look so pretty…" you said, looking her up and down, from her wide hips to her pretty bare shoulders. It was the first time you said something like that to her, so her first reaction was to remain silent, her hands clasped on her belly while she nervously moved her feet.

"Do you really think so?" she asked, playing with her fingers.

"I mean, yeah," you nodded, looking into her eyes and then away, "that color looks really nice on you."

"I… thank you," a small smirk spread across her face, and then she looked down at herself.

"It's nothing," you smiled back, and then stood up, "turn around, please."

"Oh no, I'll go out to put on my makeup and finish getting ready, don't worry," for some reason, Dahyun's smirk or twinkle in her eyes didn't disappear, and it stayed that way until you saw her walk out the door. You were stunned for a minute, staring at nothing. You felt something tickle in your stomach, and a slight warmth on your cheeks. You completely ignored how you felt so as not to overthink it, and you began to undress, bathe, and then change your clothes.

When you went back to the living room you were already dressed as Dahyun had told you, and to be honest you felt quite comfortable that way. She was sitting on the couch, looking at herself in a hand mirror as she rubbed a blush on her cheeks. Her shoulders were now covered by an open sweater of a much lighter yellow. As soon as she saw you walk out of the hallway, she looked you up and down and smiled at you again.

"Do I look ridiculous?" you asked naively, sticking your fingers into the pockets of your pants.

"Oh come on, don't be silly, you look great! I told you the blue sweater was a good choice," with that said, she went back to what she was doing.

"If you say so..." you went to sit next to her, leaning your back against the sofa as you stared at your phone.

About ten minutes passed between Dahyun finishing her makeup and retouching her outfit. She stood up, and went to look for her handbag on your coat rack in the entrance.

"Can you call the taxi? I need to go to the bathroom before we go," she said walking into the hallway.

"Oh sure."

And that you did. You called the taxi to your location, and when you were both ready, you went down from your apartment to wait for the car on the sidewalk in front of the building. It arrived after a few minutes, Dahyun indicated the direction to the driver, and you set off.

You spent the whole way moving your leg as if it were a nervous tic and looking out the window while nibbling your fingernails. You had rarely felt this nervous in your life, in fact, you could count those occasions on the fingers of one hand. The most recent being when you went to the My Chemical Romance concert in Japan, but not even seeing your favorite band in person for the first time had you as scared as going to a simple birthday party.

"Hey, calm down," Dahyun put a hand on your knee, and you stopped moving your leg, but you didn't stop biting your nails or looking out the window.

"I can't believe I'm going to a party," you muttered, staring off into the streets.

"You know that not all parties are the same, right?" Dahyun was cross-legged, her phone in hand and an open chat you didn't have to read to know it was Jihyo's, "It might be something fun for you."

"I highly doubt it, I don't even like people."

"If you can tolerate my existence, you can also tolerate the existence of a few other people."

"As long as they're not loud and insufferable, yes, perfectly."

"I can promise you they won't be insufferable, but I'm not so sure about the other."

"Great."

It was quite a short trip, Jihyo's residential building was not as far as you thought, in fact, you could have walked there and arrived in less than ten minutes, but it was already quite dark, so you never even considered it as an option. The driver parked in front of the building, Dahyun paid him, and you got out of the car to start walking through the small square around the residential complex. Dahyun took her phone out of her clutch bag and made a call.

"Unnie! I'm here. Come down to open the door for us," there was a silence while Jihyo answered her on the other end of the line, you couldn't understand what she was saying, but you did realize one thing: she was a very, noisy person, "Alright, I'll see you in a bit."

"My God, I could hear her from here," you said, looking at a bush on the other side of a small metal fence.

"I told you I couldn't promise you they wouldn't be loud," she sighed, then linked her arm with yours.

You entered the building within a few seconds. Dahyun took the phone from the entrance gate, and dialed the number of what you assumed was Jihyo's apartment phone, seconds later, you heard a beep coming from the gate. Dahyun pushed it, and it opened inward.

You took the elevator to the seventh floor, got out, and walked along a wide corridor that led you to the door of the apartment. From outside you could already feel the rumble of the bass of a stereo playing music, it wasn't really that loud, but it was loud enough to ruin the sleep of a person who simply wanted to take a nap. Dahyun rang the bell on the side of the door once. There was no answer, so she rang a second time. Within seconds, the door was opened by a short woman, roughly the same size as Dahyun. She had fairly short hair, with a small part of it tied up at the back of her head. She was wearing a woven cotton shirt, with buttons that she only had fastened in the area of her big chest and a thin necklace of white nuggets, jeans, and black vans shoes.

"Dubu! Ahhh!" she screeched, lunging at Dahyun to hug her tight.

"Hey, you're going to take my breath away," your best friend joked, her arms still attached to her body as Jihyo clung to her like a koala to her branch.

"Right, sorry," Jihyo laughed, then released her and took her hands with a big smile on her face.

"I know I told you early, but happy birthday," Dahyun smiled back, squeezing the girl's hands.

"Thank you, sweetie," she blew Dahyun a little air kiss, and then looked at you, "oh, you didn't come alone."

"Oh right, unnie, he's my best friend, you can call him Balto," Dahyun said, stepping aside to draw attention to you, "Balto, this is Jihyo."

"I-It's a p-pleasure, Jihyo," you stuttered at first like an idiot, "happy birthday," Jihyo stared at you for a few seconds before answering, apparently something about you had caught her attention, but you couldn't figure out what.

"The pleasure is mine, thank you very much," she smiled at you, "Why Balto?"

"It's because of the wolf from an animated movie that I really like," Dahyun answered for you, since she gave you that nickname.

"Oh, that's so cute," Jihyo said, "just like him," you didn't know what to say, and neither did Dahyun, but you did try to say something to no avail, only a slight lisp came out of your mouth, "come on, let's go inside," she invited with a giggle.

The three of you entered the apartment, first passing through a narrow corridor that led directly to the living room. It wasn't a much bigger apartment than yours, in fact, they could perfectly be the same size, with the difference that Jihyo had the furniture arranged in a somewhat more messy way, which led to the feeling that it was less spacious.

There were few people in the room, you could count them perfectly with your eyes, 6 people, 3 girls and 3 boys. Three of them were settled on the sofa, with cans of beer in hand and a glass bowl of chips on the small glass table in front of them, while the other three were scattered around the kitchen. You were relieved, as you thought the environment would be something completely different, but still, your first instinct was to get behind Dahyun and avoid looking at anyone.

"Hey, look on the bright side, I don't know anyone either, just that guy over there," Dahyun nodded at a short, muscular guy, who was doing something in the kitchen you couldn't see.

"That doesn't put me at ease, Kim Dahyun," you said behind her, taking a few more steps until Jihyo stopped a few feet from the sofa.

"Guys, I wanted to introduce you to two friends, they're from architecture," Jihyo stepped aside, and the three people, who were two girls and one boy, looked at the two of you, "Nayeon, Jeongyeon, Han, they're Dahyun and Balto."

You didn't see any of the three of them directly in the eyes, and you didn't say anything either, you just smiled somewhat awkwardly and imitated Dahyun with a small bow. The three of them imitated your gesture respectfully, with friendly expressions on their faces.

"My pleasure," Dahyun smiled.

"What a great outfit! You look so pretty," Nayeon said, leaning forward and resting her elbows on her legs.

“Yeah, and your hair is beautiful,” said Jeongyeon, the girl next to her, who, oddly enough, had short hair.

"Ah otoke..." Dahyun gave an embarrassed giggle, brushing her hair behind her ears.

"Hey dude, you look great too," the boy said.

Did he just talk to you? It took you a moment to sink in, you didn't even react at first until Dahyun nudged you.

"Me? Uh... thanks," you looked at him for a second, flashing a small smirk.

"You're welcome, that sweater is really cool," he smirked back at you, and then picked up the bowl of chips to hold with one arm and eat from it.

"I told you," Dahyun said, turning her head to look at you.

"Yeah, I know you told me."

"Come this way, the Three Stooges are missing," Jihyo said, and you walked behind her towards the kitchen. A girl was sitting on a counter next to the blender, a guy next to her, and the other was chopping potatoes on a counter away from the two of them.

"Jihyo-ya!" said the boy who was cooking as soon as he saw her out of the corner of his eye, "do you have olive oil?"

"Ah yeah, over there," Jihyo pointed to one of the cabinets, "guys, this is Dahyun and Balto," she said looking at you, "And this is Chaeyoung, Seungmin, and the crazy guy cooking is Changbin."

Once again you repeated the same trivial process as always, wave here and wave there, nothing important, and this time none of the three said anything to either of you. Chaeyoung was focused on her conversation with Seungmin, and Changbin on don't cut his fingers.

"Are you making French fries?" Dahyun asked Changbin, and he didn't even bother to look at her.

"Yup!" he said, pouring the olive oil into a skillet.

"Anyway, come this way guys," Jihyo nodded the other way, and you all went back into the living room, "Have a seat. Want something?"

"I want a beer," Dahyun turned to look at you, "And you?"

"I don't like alcohol, just water, thanks," you said.

"I have berry juice, will it work for you?" Jihyo asked, taking slow steps into the kitchen.

"It's perfect, yes," you nodded, then Jihyo went to the kitchen, returning with the can of beer and a carton of blackberry juice to deliver both.

You and Dahyun sat next to each other, with the dining room table very close to you. In the center was a two-tiered red velvet cake, piled high with chocolate-dipped strawberries, disposable plates, and disposable spoons. Jihyo dragged a chair from the other end and positioned her to sit next to you, much closer than you'd expect. You immediately felt nervous.

"And tell me, cuties, you live together, don't you?" Jihyo asked, crossing her legs facing you.

"How do you know?" Dahyun smiled, opening the beer bottle.

"I don't think he left the house of his own accord," Jihyo said, looking at Dahyun, "And he seems like the type to leave you on watch and go to sleep.”

"And you're right, that's exactly what he does," Dahyun sipped her beer, while you opened your juice.

"I only did that once, and it was because you were asking me to go jogging with you in the park," you sipped your juice through a straw, discreetly looking around.

"Really? What time?" Jihyo asked, resting her elbow on the table to look at you.

"8 in the morning, it was Sunday," you said, as Jihyo stared at you so intently that you thought he was analyzing every fragment of your soul.

"Ahhh, Kim Dahyun! How did you expect him to go with you!" She laughed, "I think that was even nice enough, I would have told you to go to hell."

"It was one of my many attempts to get him out of the apartment," Dahyun sighed, also cross-legged in a much more elegant and delicate posture than Jihyo's, "most of the time he's studying, or playing, or reading."

"Oh really? So it's truly a miracle you're here today," Jihyo raised an eyebrow.

"Something like that," you replied, daring to look into her eyes for just under 2 seconds, "I was very tempted to lock myself in the bathroom so Dahyun couldn't make me."

"You need social contact, dumbass," Dahyun gave you a little kick on the ankle with her foot, "you'll be an architect."

"Hey, it's not my fault I'm like this," you took another sip of your juice, inadvertently it was already half full, "I wish I wasn't, believe me."

"Hey! Don't say that!" Jihyo complained, her brow furrowed now, "there's nothing wrong with you being like that, you seem like a friendly and calm boy, besides, you're very cute. You just have to work on it, taking small steps each time."

"Exactly, I never said it was a bad thing, silly," Dahyun said, placing her hand on your shoulder and giving it a little squeeze.

It was the second time in a few minutes that Jihyo had told you that you were cute. You were tremendously slow and stupid for those kinds of compliments or situations, and at that moment you couldn't tell if it was just simple kindness or if it was something more. Your gaze met Jihyo's in a short moment of silence, and for some reason, the place your eyes landed on when you broke eye contact went straight to her pair of round, tight big breasts. She wasn't dumb, she saw right away where your gaze was, and in response she undid just one button on her shirt, enough so that you could see a few inches of her cleavage.

"I-I know... I know, I'm sorry," you took a deep breath, and set the carton of juice on the edge of the table to sink a little into the seat and force yourself not to show your nervousness.

"Hey, cheer up a bit, I promise to make it worth your while," Jihyo placed a hand on your knee and patted it. You stared at her hand, and from there your gaze went up her body, her cleavage, and once again, into her eyes, "Dubu, do you know what music he likes?" she shifted her gaze to your best friend.

"It's disturbing how varied his playlist is," Dahyun was already downing her first can of beer, judging by the lightness with which he picked it up, "the other day he went from listening to Kanye West to Bonnie Tyler."

"Total Eclipse of the Heart?" Jihyo asked.

"Aha," you nodded, more embarrassed than anything else.

"We'll do karaoke, I can sing that one for you if you want."

"Can you sing that song?" you asked incredulously.

"Oh yeah, she's a very good singer, don't underestimate her," Dahyun said.

"I'd like to see that," you admitted, cracking a small smile.

"Then let's get to it," Jihyo nodded toward the couch in front of the TV, where Nayeon, Jeongyeon, and Han were still drinking and eating. You three stood up, Jihyo in front of you two. She stood between the TV and the sofa, placing both hands on her waist, "Hey, shut up everyone!" she called the attention of everyone in the apartment, "it's time for karaoke."

"Just in time!" Changbin said, coming back from the kitchen with a large plate full of perfectly browned fries, "don't be fucking cute and eat them all so fast!" he walked past you and set the plate down on the coffee table next to the already empty bowl of fries.

“I don't promise anything at all,” Chaeyoung said, also walking past Seungmin to sit on one of the individual sofas.

"Sit down guys, I'll be over there," Jihyo said to you, pointing to the large sofa and then to the chairs near Chaeyoung and Seungmin.

Hearing this, Nayeon and Jeongyeon made enough space for you on the couch so that you could all fit a bit tightly together. Dahyun was about to sit on the end of the sofa, but you grabbed her forearm before she did, giving her a look that made it clear that you didn't want to sit so close to Nayeon, so she sat down next to her, and you sat on the end of the sofa right next to the armband.

Jihyo turned on the TV and went to YouTube, and then took a wireless microphone out of one of the drawers under the TV and connected it to the sound system.

"Alright, who wants to sing first?" there was a long silence in the living room, until the person you least expected got up from the sofa.

"Well, if no one else wants to start, I will," Han said, rolling up the sleeves of the sweater he was wearing.

"I must admit I'm surprised," Jihyo laughed, "What do you want to sing?" Han thought about it for a moment, narrowing his eyes as he watched the TV.

"Maniac, the one by Michael Sembello."

"Sure? I could play you the Conan Gray one and that's it," she raised both eyebrows, then met Han's poker face, "very good very good."

Jihyo searched for the song on youtube, and when she hit play she held out the microphone for Han to pick up. To your pleasant surprise, Han was a better singer than he appeared, he wasn't singing the song in exact Michael Sembello key, but his voice color was quite distinctive and cool. While he sang, Changbin went back to the kitchen, only to return with multiple beer cans in his hands and held against his body. He handed it out to everyone in the room, and when he was going to give yours to you, you were forced to shake your head.

"I don't drink, thanks," you brushed him off as nicely as possible.

"Oh no problem then, I'll get you a Pepsi mate."

"But-" before you could protest he was past you and into the kitchen again, taking with him the can of beer that was meant for you.

"Do you still think that the whole society sucks?" Dahyun asked from the side of you, nudging you slightly as she opened her can of beer. There was already enough space on the sofa, but even so she was still very close to you.

"Well, I have to admit that these people are… nice," you said, looking at the TV screen and following the lyrics of the song in your mind.

"I told you," she placed a hand on your thigh and shook it a little, "you're going to have fun, silly," Dahyun grabbed your face with her free hand and pulled you close for a peck on the cheek, "Thank you for coming with me."

You didn't know what to answer at first, you kept a lost look when you felt Dubu's delicate lips on your cheek. It wasn't the first time she'd done something like that, but in every situation you were just as stunned as the previous one.

"Uh… thanks to you," you replied, and it wasn't until seconds later that you realized what a fucking stupid thing you said. Dahyun could only burst out laughing.

Changbin came back with you, a can of Pepsi in hand.

"Sorry bro, I couldn't find it among so many beers," he said, handing you the can.

"No problem, thanks," you smirked and picked up the can, then Changbin went to sit next to Jihyo, who was talking and laughing with Chaeyoung and Seungmin.

The song was over for Han, and all of you in the room gave him a collective applause more than deserved since he had killed the song completely.

"Okay, who's next? That guy just set the bar high," there was another long silence, as everyone stared at her. Jihyo sighed, "Okay, I'll sing," apparently it was a moment they'd all been waiting for, as they erupted in cheers and applause.

Jihyo stood up, took the microphone from Han and took a few slow steps towards the center, as she did so she stared at you and raised an eyebrow, wanting to make sure your eyes were on her at all times. As usual, you almost peed your pants at how intimidating and hot she looked and how clumsy you were in those situations.

She searched for the song that you had asked for a few minutes ago in the search bar, and when she played it you couldn't believe that she was really fulfilling your desire to hear her sing one of your favorite songs of hers. It only took a few seconds for Jihyo to completely captivate you.

You didn't need to be an expert in singing to realize that Jihyo knew what she was doing, her voice was strong and clear, with a powerful volume that you were sure didn't even need a microphone to resonate throughout the apartment without any problem. Her voice wasn't as raspy as Bonnie Tyler's, that was completely impossible to imitate, but she perfectly offset each of the song's high notes without any effort. She was putting her soul and her sweat into killing that song, and you couldn't help but stare at her, totally stunned and impressed.

About a minute and a half into the song had passed when Jihyo did a dramatic turn, and when her head turned, she caught your eyes on her, realizing, she gave you a beautiful smile that felt like an arrow straight to your heart. She turned around again to look at the television, and you were left with a hot sensation on your cheeks, you had blushed.

That had left you partially isolated from your surroundings, you were no longer looking at Jihyo, your gaze was now lost in absolute nothingness while your heart began to beat slightly harder. Everything around you began to be heard as if you were a few meters underwater, the screams, the applause, the cheers, the laughter, it became in the background while you completely disconnected and began to stir nervously. That could only mean one thing, your social battery was running low and you were having an anxiety attack.

"Hey, Balto..." you heard once, like distant waves, "Balto!" you heard a second time, this time clearer and louder, with a little shake in your arm that brought you back to reality, "Hey, something wrong?"

You looked around, quickly remembering where you were. You looked at Jihyo, who was still singing, and then you looked at everyone else, drinking and having fun. Finally you looked at Dubu, who was looking at you with a worried expression on her face.

"Ah… yeah, I'm fine, I just need to wash my face, I'm a little sleepy," you jerked your thumb back, pointing to the kitchen.

"Are you sure? We can leave in a bit if you want..."

"No, no," you said quickly, "don't worry, I just need to walk a bit to wake up," you took a drink of your Pepsi, then set it down on the small table in front of you to stand up and walk to the kitchen. Jihyo noticed that you were gone, she had seen you out of the corner of her eye, but she kept singing anyway.

You reached the kitchen with your breath still somewhat agitated. You walked over to the sink, turned on the tap, and cupped your two hands to start pouring water on your face. After a few seconds you turned off the tap, and grabbed some kitchen towel to dry your face while you looked around. You hadn't noticed it when you arrived because of the curtains, but on the left side of the kitchen was a door that led to a small balcony outside. You walked over there, slid the glass door to the left and went outside.

The fresh air and the gentle breeze made you take a long breath that helped you begin to relax your body. The views from up there were beautiful, allowing you to see a good part of the city of Seoul and the hills that bordered the city in every corner. You walked over to the railing, which was about the height of your stomach, and leaned idly on it to look up at the beautiful, clear sky.

Nothing was going through your mind at that moment, you were just enjoying your solitude and the absolute peace of the moment, without people shouting and without so much fuss around you. You were really feeling comfortable a few minutes ago, but your brain was not used to it, you assumed that it would take time for that to happen, in the meantime, you had to settle for panic attacks that took absolute control over your body and made you just run away.

It didn't take more than five minutes when you heard the door open a few meters behind you. You thought it was Dahyun, and that's why you didn't bother to turn around, but the surprise almost made you fall over the edge.

"I did it so badly that you had to go outside to not listen to me?" Jihyo said from behind you.

"Fuck!" You gave a little jump, and you put your hand on your heart to let out a sigh and turn to look at her, "You didn't do it wrong, in fact quite the opposite, you're incredible."

"Oh yeah? Then why did you run away like that?" She said, raising an eyebrow, she took a few steps forward and took one of the chairs that were on the balcony to sit cross-legged on it.

"It's just… my social battery is dying, it's already dead, actually," you sighed, going to sit in the other chair next to her, "I'm just used to being around Dahyun all the time."

"I see..." Jihyo nodded slowly, looking up at the sky with you, "Hey, how did you two meet? You seem to be very close."

"It's not really a special story," you began, "we met on our first day, it was the first math module, if I remember correctly. And well, as you saw, I have terrible social anxiety that comes from when I was a kid, and just having to ask a basic question to the teacher terrified me. Dahyun helped me that day, and if it wasn't for her, I would have failed every single test. From then on she always showed interest in me, and never left me alone for a day."

"Aw, that's so cute!" Jihyo said, pulling the chair a little closer towards yours as she looked at you.

You and Jihyo from that moment started a conversation that flowed better than you could ever expect. She was a girl with whom talking was quite easy, she was attentive and very kind, she didn't overwhelm you too much with a lot of words, and she understood perfectly that what you liked the most were those kinds of conversations in which the wind could be heard perfectly above your voices. Normally you wouldn't be talking for so long with a person almost unknown to you, but for some reason you felt comfortable with her, it was something about her aura, her smell, or something as simple as how pretty she was.

About 10 minutes passed, in which you only told stories about each other while looking at the sky and the city, she laughed at your silly awkward jokes, and you at the grace with which she told her stories, but you noticed something quickly, and it was that with each passing moment, Jihyo discreetly moved her chair closer to yours, to the point where they were pressed against each other. You didn't really care at first, but when the conversation fell silent, she leaned her head on your shoulder, and that completely changed the landscape for you.

Your first natural impulse was to try to pull away, since that was what you had been doing your whole life, but she completely ignored your attempt to pull away and left her head there. You had no choice but to take a deep breath, close your eyes and get used to the sensation, which stopped feeling like a nuisance and felt more like a relief, something you felt you just had to enjoy and that's it.

"You know something Balto… it's hard to find people like you," Jihyo said quietly, as you both watched the dim moon behind the clouds.

"What are you talking about?" you asked.

"You are a genuine person... nowadays everyone is hypocritical and fake with everyone, but you are special."

"How are you so sure of that?"

"I just am. Besides, Dubu would never have liked a bad boy, she's too pure and lovely for that."

"Wait," you frowned in confusion, "liked?"

"Oh come on, haven't you really noticed?" Jihyo chuckled.

"What thing?"

"Dahyunie is crazy about you, Balto, I can see it in her eyes," your gaze was lost for a moment while your brain processed the information.

"Nonsense... she's just being nice, she loves me like her best friend," what Jihyo said made all the sense in the world, in fact, more than once you had suspected it, but for some reason you didn't leave the stage of denial for never having noticed it.

"Honey, we women aren't that 'nice'," she made the quotation marks on her fingers, "to our best friends."

"But… why has she never told me?" you asked, still incredulous.

"For the same reason that you haven't told her. You're afraid it will make things different."

"Uh? W-What are you talking about?" all the nerves that you hadn't been feeling a few minutes ago came back to you at that moment.

"Oh sweet boy, you're hopeless," Jihyo sighed, lifting her head from your shoulder to turn to you and bring her mouth to your ear, "I'm going to ask you just once, and I want you to be completely honest with me, if you're not, I'll know," she whispered, her lips brushing against your ear.

"..."

"You like Dahyun, don't you?" she asked. You remained silent and you began to think about it, in all the times in which you had suppressed your feelings and you had left it as something insignificant, but the reality was that there was no person in the world that made you feel so bad. loved as she did. You remembered her radiant smile, the one that would brighten the darkest of your days, and quickly your heart gave an answer.

"I…" you started, but as soon as you were about to reply, Jihyo placed her index finger on your lips to silence you. Then, she got up from her chair and with a quick movement completely unexpected for you, she climbed onto you and sat on your lap, leaving the full weight of her ass against your crotch. You gasped in surprise, your body completely paralyzed as you felt totally controlled by her. She leaned forward, pressing her big tits against your chest and leaning in close to your ear once more.

"I know you like it, you don't have to answer," she whispered with a slight giggle, "I won't tell anyone, don't worry, but if you want I can help you get together."

"Y-you… can you do that?" you asked, still unaware of Jihyo's real intentions.

"Of course, darling," she straightened up and looked into your eyes, "but you'll have to trust me."

"O-okay..." you nodded, again unable to meet her gaze for even more than two seconds.

"Now then, I have another question for you," she leaned forward once more, but this time with her face only inches from yours, her lips almost brushing against yours, "do you think I'm hot?"

That question surprised you even more than the first, but for this one you did have a more than clear answer. You had been seeing her since you arrived at her apartment, and her body was perfect in absolutely every way, big tits, wide hips, nice abdomen, and a tight round ass.

"Yes… you are," you murmured, looking away to avoid her eye, only to notice a smile on her face.

"Put your hands on my waist," she commanded.

"Uh? A-are you sure?" You raised both hands, but left them floating on either side of Jihyo's body.

"Yes, honey, go ahead," she nodded calmly, and you did, holding the woman's fleshy waist in your hands. She placed her hands on your shoulders, and began to rock her hips slowly back and forth, pressing against the growing bulge in your pants with each brush.

You put pressure on her waist with your fingers, gasping at Jihyo's sensual movements. She began to give you small kisses all over her face, from your chin to your forehead, ending with a delicate kiss on your lips.

"You must be very romantic with Dubu, you know?" she whispered against your lips as her ass rubbed against your erection, "she really loves that," Saying that, she returned to your lips to plunge you into a slow, deep kiss, you let her have absolute control over you, even letting her tongue enter your mouth whenever she wanted. She began to move her hips harder when she noticed that your cock was hard under her, "you can touch me as much as you want honey, don't be afraid," she said in the middle of the kiss, before continuing to attack your mouth with her tongue.

Now with a little more confidence, you took your hands from her waist directly towards her ass, giving her buttocks a slight squeeze and then going up her lower back and ending up with your hands on her tits, which almost didn't even fit in them.

"I noticed how you saw them earlier," Jihyo teased with a giggle, "but don't worry, you can touch them as much as you want...even do other things with them later," she kissed you again, and you left yourself for her while your hands massaged and squeezed her soft tits.

While you were still in that intense and sensual making out session, Dahyun was in the living room still sitting where she had been before you left. The people were already drunk, but they were still singing and joking as happily as ever. She had stopped drinking when neither you nor Jihyo showed up anymore, so she was the only completely sane and sober one in that room. At first she thought it was good for you to socialize and experience other people's social contact than hers, but it had been so long that she couldn't help but suspect something was up.

She had to come up with an excuse just like you did to get out of there and go to the kitchen. She didn't see you there, but what she did see was the balcony door open between the curtains that billowed from the wind outside. Dubu walked slowly towards the door, and parted the curtains to find something a few meters away that she never thought she would see in her life.

Dahyun stood in the doorway, her hands on either side of her body as her mouth dropped slightly open in astonishment. She wrinkled her skirt between her fingers, watching you kiss in such a hot way without being able to believe that you were the same guy who a few minutes ago couldn't even look Jihyo in the eye without first shitting his pants. Her body started to feel a little hot, and her cheeks flushed red, seeing Jihyo had unbuttoned her shirt so you could grab her tits over her top, but she still felt that she shouldn't be there and that it was wrong to spy on you, for so she just turned around and went back to the living room to look at her phone and try to erase what she had just seen from her mind.

"Hey, let's go to my room, okay?" she murmured breaking into the kiss, and you put on a somewhat fearful expression, "it's all part of the plan, just let yourself go," she winked at you, and then she gave you a small kiss on the lips before standing up, you followed her

The corridor leading to Jihyo's bedroom could only be seen from a certain angle in the living room. Jihyo led the way, hoping Dahyun was sitting right at that end of the room. Her hopes were fulfilled, but Dubu was focused on her phone, so he had to intentionally slam the wall so she could look up, Jihyo played dumb, and then took your hand to go straight to the bedroom.

As soon as you entered the room Jihyo pinned you against the wall, grabbed your face and kissed you again, but this time in a more intense and fiery way. Her hand went straight to the hard bulge of your pants, and she gently squeezed your cock through the fabric as she kissed you.

"I haven't been able to take my eyes off you since you got here..." Jihyo murmured, pulling away from your lips and burying her face into your neck to begin dishing out wet kisses on it, "you're so, so fucking cute," she unbuttoned your jeans, unzipped them and reached into your boxer to grip your cock between her fingers, "and from what I feel, you have a big juicy cock," she broke away from you and took a step back, "sit there honey," she nodded at the bed, and you complied.

You went to sit on the edge of Jihyo's bed, and she walked over to stand right between your legs. You fixed your gaze on her, and she began to remove her clothes slowly. She first took off her shirt, and then she took off her top, letting you see the white bra that contained her juicy pair of milkers. This was followed by her pants, which she unbuttoned and pulled down very slowly, revealing her meaty tummy, a pair of gorgeous legs, and most of all, the thin lace panty that did little to hide her plump pussy. You gaped, almost drooling at such a fucking incredible body, but as if that wasn't enough, she reached behind her back and undid her bra, it fell off her shoulders, and now her pair of big, round, perfect tits were released right in front of your face.

"J-Jihyo..." you stammered, completely stunned by the pair of melons mere inches from your face.

"Shhh..." she put a finger to your lips, "the best is yet to come," Jihyo took a step back, turned around, and grabbed her own buttocks just to tease you, then grabbed the curb of her panties, lean forward, and begin to slide them down, showing you her plump juicy pussy. She was now completely naked in front of you, and your cock did nothing but throb, screaming to be released. Jihyo was going to turn back to you, but she suddenly looked at the door, noticing something you didn't, she quickly walked over to it, flung it open, grabbed Kim Dahyun's wrist and pulled her inside, closing the door behind her.

"Oh shit!" Dahyun exclaimed, immediately covering her eyes. You widened your eyes in shock, was she really spying on you? Was this part of Jihyo's plan?

"It seems we had company all this time," Jihyo said with a giggle, "It's okay sweetheart, you can watch," she walked over to Dubu, grabbed her wrists, and gently pushed her hands away from her face so she could look at her body.

"I-I, uh… fuck, I can explain," Dubu's face turned red as a tomato, which was easy enough due to her pale skin tone. She didn't know where to look, at one point she looked at you and the marked bulge under your boxers, but then she always ended up looking at Jihyo's tits or pussy.

"You don't have to explain anything, I know you were spying on us, even on the balcony," Jihyo reached out and caressed one of Dubu's cheeks with the back of her hand, "I was hoping you would come here, and you made it easy for me."

"I-I'll go, no problem, I'll just pretend I didn't see anything," she looked away, tilted her head towards Jihyo and tried to turn and leave, but Jihyo grabbed her wrist.

"Uh uh," she shook her head, "we've been waiting for you honey, you can't just leave like that."

"For me?" Dubu asked, her face still red, her breathing ragged from arousement.

"You're the lynchpin of all this, darling, of course," Jihyo closed the distance to inches, grabbed her face and gave Dubu a little kiss on the lips, who was so turned on and surprised that she didn't even flinched, "or don't you want to give Balto a more… special kind of treatment?" She and Jihyo looked at you, but then they locked eyes.

"Of course I do," Dubu agreed slowly, biting her lower lip and finally succumbing to her carnal urges. She took off her jacket, revealing her pretty shoulders and closing the distance between her and Jihyo. They merged in a very hot kiss, Jihyo had wrapped her arms around Dubu's waist, and Dubu had taken her by the neck while she moaned against her lips.

Jihyo wasted no time in getting down to business, first focusing on removing her top and then her skirt, Dubu helped her by taking off her shoes, and now she was just in pink panties and a white bra. They continued kissing for a few seconds, until Dubu herself took off her bra. You were still completely stunned by the incredibly hot scene that was happening in front of you, but also because it was the first time you saw Dubu's naked body in its full splendor, you knew that she had a very pretty figure, but seeing her like this way It made you realize that your best friend had an enviable body, curvy, pale, and toned. Dubu took her hands to Jihyo's tits to squeeze them firmly, while Jihyo massaged her wide and round ass.

"Stop cutie, I think our sweet boy wants some attention too," Jihyo said as she parted from your best friend's lips, and then turned to look at you, "why don't you go join him? I want to play with that cock for a bit."

"Of course," Dubu gasped, also turning to look at you, she walked slowly towards you, climbed on the bed, and disappeared from your sight to kneel behind you. Meanwhile, Jihyo knelt between your legs and grabbed your pants and boxers and lowered them to your ankles and then took them off.

"Fuck... look what we have here," Jihyo gazed at your cock like a shining treasure between her eyes, took it in one hand and shook it gently, "who knew our shy boy was hiding such a beautiful cock."

Dubu said nothing behind you, you tried to turn your head over your shoulder to see her, but what was happening in front of you also demanded your attention. Dahyun helped you remove your sweater, and then ran her hands around your torso to caress your abdomen and chest with her soft, delicate hands.

"Oh Balto… I've been missing that cock all this time," Dubu whispered in your ear, and you shuddered slightly.

"Dahyun… I..." Before you could say anything, Jihyo's pretty lips latched onto the tip of your cock without full warning to make you gasp. She slowly sucked on the tip of it, and then released it to give the base of your shaft a long, sensual lick before pushing you back inside her, this time her lips lowered further, until most of your cock was gone inside her warm mouth.

"Don't say anything, just enjoy, silly..." Dubu whispered, starting to kiss your neck, your shoulders and also your back.

Jihyo placed both hands on your thighs, and began to slowly pump her head up and down. You put your hands on the mattress, and wrinkled the sheets thanks to the sensual pumping of Jihyo's head on your cock. She made sure to make it nice and slow for you, knowing that you wouldn't like something quick and messy right away. You were grateful that she made that decision, because you felt like you were in heaven as her lips went up and down, leaving a slippery and shiny trail.

You leaned back, turned your head to the left and finally found yourself facing Dubu, she looked you in the eye, with flushed cheeks and parted lips, she wanted to say something just like you, but in the end your first impulse was the same, to unite in a kiss that you had been anticipating for months. It may not have been in the right or more romantic circumstances, but you did feel butterflies in your stomach while your lips danced and collided with each other.

"Mission accomplished," Jihyo said, pulling you out of her mouth, you completely ignored her, and she just went back to her business. She sucked on your cock for a few more seconds until she pulled you out of her mouth again, you felt her hands remove from your thighs, and the next thing you felt was your cock being surrounded by soft flesh. You pulled away from the kiss just to see what it was about, only to find Jihyo's pair of big tits sandwiching your cock right in the middle.

"Oh fuck..." you gasped, watching as Jihyo grabbed her tits to press them around your shaft.

"Dubu, would you help me?" Jihyo asked looking at her, "I think it's still a little dry," Dahyun didn't hesitate for a second before kneeling next to you on the mattress, leaning forward being careful not to fall, and spitting out all the accumulated saliva of your kiss between your cock and Jihyo's tits.

Jihyo made sure that her tits were well lubricated as well, using her own saliva apart from Dubu's to make it more slippery. Having made sure that both your cock and her tits were salivated enough, she pressed them firmly and began to move her chest up and down slowly. You moaned out loud, feeling the soft slide of your cock between her incredibly soft tits.

"Balto... touch me please," Dahyun moaned from next to you, you turned to face her, and once again you kissed, but this time your hands went to her pair of modest mounds, slowly massaging them before taking your hands all over her statuesque body, your fingers traversing every possible curve, and finally ending up on the hem of her panties, which you pulled forward a little just to reveal more of her milky buttocks.

Jihyo had started to move her chest faster, letting you use her tits as a personal cocksleeve. She made sure that all of your cock went in and out, so that when she hit your pelvis with her tits, the tip of your shaft would brush against her tongue. It was the first time you received a titjob, and definitely between that, and Dubu's soft skin under your fingers while you kissed, you weren't going to last long.

The constant, quick pumping of Jihyo's tits around your cock didn't stop until at least a minute later, when without full warning, you moaned against Dubu's lips and suddenly exploded.

"Oh!" Jihyo exclaimed, moving her chest slower than her as you unloaded thick strips of cum against her tongue and between her tits. You parted from Dahyun's lips, and you both watched as Jihyo's chin and tits were painted with your thick liquid, "Fuck honey... do you like my tits that much?" Jihyo asked with a mischievous tone, wiping her chin with two of her fingers to put them in her mouth.

"Y-yes… I love them," you gasped, your cock still throbbing and leaking precum as she unwrapped her tits from around it.

"I noticed," she blew you a kiss, "Dubu, do you want to clean me up?" Jihyo raised an eyebrow.

"I…" Dahyun licked her lips, she looked at you, and then at Jihyo's tits, "yeah, I'd love to."

Dubu got off the bed and knelt down next to Jihyo, who turned to Dubu, and she leaned forward to hold her breasts in the outline of her hands, bring her lips closer, and stick out her tongue to start collecting all the cum from Jihyo's tits. You stared at the scene, Dubu licking your cum, and at the same time eating Jihyo's tits, who let out little moans every time your best friend's tongue touched one of her nipples.

Once Jihyo's tits were clean, Dahyun looked at you and settled down facing you to grab your cock with one hand, look into your eyes for a few long seconds, and finally begin to clean it with her tongue as well, adding little kisses all over it. your shaft.

"You love your best friend's cock, don't you dear?" Jihyo asked, running through Dahyun's hair between her fingers, "I bet you've thought about fucking him more than once..."

"He's so nice and attentive to me, he's the cutest guy ever," Dubu murmured, placing one last kiss on the tip of your cock, "I've been wanting to suck his dick for months now."

"Dubu..." you gasped, somewhat surprised at her small confession, and feeling fucking stupid for never expressing your feelings to her.

"You can do it later, as many times as you want, but right now I want to jump on that cock," Jihyo said, standing up.

"But..." Dubu said.

"You'll have your turn later darling, consider it the small price for getting you together."

"Dahyunie, sit on my face," you said, and she and Jihyo both turned to look at you in surprise.

"Oh... is that really what you want?" Dahyun asked with her cheeks turning red again.

"Don't ask, just come and do it," you gasped, and then Dubu stood up to climb back on the bed.

Jihyo turned around and bent her knees, her ass now hovering just inches above your cock. She spat into her hand, slipping it between her thighs to cup your cock with one hand and rubbing the tip against her wet slit a few times before lining it up, holding it still and slowly lowering her hips as your shaft worked its way inches further between her fleshy, silky folds.

"Shit baby, that fucking cock is stretching me so fucking good!" Jihyo moaned, looking over her shoulder at you as your dick was engulfed in her pussy, and a few seconds later, she rested her ass against your pelvis. You moaned together, feeling absolutely every inch of your shaft inside her wet cunt, the only things visible were Jihyo's round buttocks and her folds wrapped around your base.

"I'm sorry you won't get to see that ass bouncing, darling, but you just made me a promise," Dubu said behind you, grabbing your shoulders and gently pulling you back until you were lying on your back on the mattress, while Jihyo began to move her ass very slowly up and down, your cock sliding smoothly in and out.

Dahyun stood next to you and quickly pulled her panties down, giving you a bottom view of her pretty pink pussy. She got on top of you, her feet on either side of your arms then kneeling down and pressing her big tight ass against your chest. She leaned back, until her thighs were on either side of your head, and she arched forward to gently lower her hips so that her pussy brushed against your lips.

You took your first lick of her slit, a slow one at first, and then you began to move your tongue slowly along her cunt. You raised her hands to grab her waist and make her lower her hips completely, so that she suffocated you with her pussy, that made your whole mouth now involved. You weren't exactly an expert at what you were doing, but you learned pretty quickly thanks to the sounds Dahyun made to tell you that you were hitting the right spot.

Meanwhile, Jihyo had grabbed onto your knees and started to slam her ass harder and harder against your pelvis. Her moans were considerably louder than Dahyun's, you weren't surprised, after all those lungs must be able to hold a lot of air.

"That's it honey, eat that little pussy while I jump on this big juicy cock," Jihyo moaned, moving her ass in such a way that with each jump only the tip of your cock was inside her, "Fuck fuck fuck!"

Jihyo had already gotten to the point where the pounding of her ass against your pelvis was pretty loud, but feeling like she was on the verge of tearing you in half with each crash had you moaning against Dahyun's pussy, who was now moaning almost as loud as Jihyo, while you eat her out with all the dedication and effort you could. Your hands went from being on her wide hips to being directly on her buttocks, squeezing and spreading them to make your work easier, and Dubu responded to the attacks of your tongue on her pussy with hip movements that caused her slit to rub even with your nose.

"Fuck Balto... you do it so... oh fuck!" Dubu moaned, straightening her back to put even more weight on your head, which meant less oxygen to breathe, "so fucking good!" she continued to grind her hips, but this time leaned back slightly so she could hold onto your hair tightly as she did so.

You didn't know exactly what you were supposed to be doing, but it's not like you could focus much on doing anything else either. Jihyo was completely destroying you, she was jumping on your cock like her life depended on it, and you were thankful that you weren't close to cum yet, otherwise you would have been forced to focus on only one thing at a time.

Fortunately for you, Dubu's climax was not long in coming. She pressed her thighs tightly around your head, that was the first sign, and then stopped moving and moaning, as you hit a single spot on her pussy with your tongue that you knew was driving her crazy. Seconds later, Dahyun finally released her orgasm with a loud moan straight to the ceiling, and resumed grinding her pussy against your mouth as her spasms made her body shake every second. As her orgasm ceased she fell forward, pressing her tits against your abdomen with a first person view of Jihyo impaling herself completely on your cock over and over again.

"I'm going to cum, fuck!" Jihyo screeched, almost digging her nails into your thighs as her ass wildly bounced on you, "I'm going to cum all over your big cock honey!" you just closed your eyes, counting sheep in your mind so you don't cum with her.

It only took a few more slams of her ass against your pelvis for Jihyo to land one last downward thrust and her entire body began to shake from her intense orgasm. Good thing they were drunk and singing outside, otherwise, everyone would have found out what was going on in there thanks to Jihyo's moans (more like screams). She didn't seem to care that her body was in the grip of the strong spasms that shook her, and she kept moving her ass up and down not as fast, but just as hard. Her pussy was constantly clenching around your cock, and it really took a lot of concentration not to succumb to the incredible sensation and cum.

"I want... I want his cock inside me, please, I beg," Dubu implored Jihyo as Jihyo continued to move slowly on your cock. Jihyo turned to see her, finding her just centimeters from her ass, and she smiled mischievously.

"I know, sweetheart, the price is already paid," Jihyo pulled you out of her and stood up to climb on the bed and fall face down on one of her pillows. Dubu, also a bit weak from her recent orgasm, got off of you and knelt to the side to look at you.

"Go lie down on the pillow, I'm going to ride you, honey," Dubu told you, and then leaned over to give you a little kiss on the forehead.

You propped yourself up on your elbows and climbed all the way up on the bed, crawling back until you lay on the pillow next to Jihyo's head, who looked at you and winked before raising her head, waiting to see what you were about to do.

Dubu joined you, climbing on your lap and sitting against the back of your cock, causing it to rub against her wet slit. She took the yellow headband that was still on her head and threw it to the ground, letting loose her silky and shiny black hair, you looked into her eyes, and blushed at how incredibly beautiful she looked on your lap.

"Dahyunie... I like you, a lot," you blurted out almost automatically, without thinking about it and without holding back. Dubu blushed too, but she couldn't help but smile.

"I like you too, silly," she replied, brushing your cheek with her thumb, "but I hate you for waiting until now to tell me."

"S-sorry..." you made a sad face, looking up at the ceiling.

"You're welcome," Jihyo said from beside you.

"Shut up, unnie," Dubu said, then flopped forward and cupped your face with both hands, "And you have nothing to apologize for, you'll repay me by making me cum soooo hard," Dahyun raised both eyebrows mischievously to stand upright again.

Dahyun had to put one foot against the mattress to get a grip on your cock, rubbing it up and down a couple of times, aligning it with her pussy before putting her knee back on the mattress and starting to lower her hips slowly. She closed her eyes, and bit her lip as she took a deep breath. Her pussy was considerably tighter than Jihyo's, and your cock couldn't get much past the tip.

"Wait, let me help," Dubu lifted her hips, and Jihyo spat on her hand to grab your cock, stroke on it very well, and leave it well lubed up for Dahyun's pussy.

Your "best friend" pressed down again, and this time your cock slid slowly and smoothly deep into Dahyun's tight pussy. She rested both hands on your chest, opening her eyes and looking down to see you with her mouth parted between rapid gasps.

"It's so fucking big, what the fuck," she moaned, leaning forward slightly to begin to slowly move her hips up and down, not enough to bring you pleasure, but enough to make you enjoy all the sensations.

"Yes it is, honey… but you can take it all," Jihyo said quietly, lying on her side to lift one leg up and begin rubbing her pussy with two of her salivated fingers.

Dahyun clung to your shoulders tightly, and when she felt that her pussy no longer presented any resistance to your cock, she began to move her hips in a constant and sensual rhythm. You moaned in unison, placing your hands on her waist as she made long, deep movements with her ass, and she showed no intention of moving much faster than that. She didn't just want to fuck you to get her own orgasm, but so that you both could enjoy your first time to the fullest.

Jihyo also began to moan quietly next to you, the woman kept rubbing her pussy slowly, following your rhythm at all times. She didn't say anything else, she had understood that this moment was only yours, and that it would be quite anticlimactic for you if she was talking dirty to you.

Your hands ran all over Dahyun's body, starting with her thighs, then her hips, and then her incredibly sexy back to caress it with your hands. Her skin was soft and pale like cotton, and you knew that after that night you would become completely addicted to just feeling it against your fingers. Your hands went from her back to her ass in one swift movement, squeezing and massaging her round buttocks as she moved her hips at a slightly faster pace, but retaining the sensuality and delicacy.

Dahyun groaned out loud, and flopped forward with her hands on your neck. Her face, flushed and distorted by her pleasure, was only inches from yours, and you, following the natural impulse of your body, wrapped your arms around her body and snuggled her against you to kiss her. She moaned against your lips and you against theirs, but even so your kiss was loaded with feelings that you had been repressing for a long time, love, gratitude, desire and affection, all of that was combined in a beautiful dance between your lips.

"I love you, darling…" she gasped against your lips, "just the way you are, and I don't want you to ever change that," her words preceded another moan against your lips. You were speechless, but you were staring into her eyes as she moved her hips up and down in the perfect rhythm to start slowly bringing you to your climax.

"I... love you too, Dubu," you managed to say, affectionately rubbing her back, "I would never stop being the boy you're in love with."

"God..." Dahyun whimpered, kissing you again as she grabbed your face and moved her hips a little faster, slightly letting go of her delicacy.

In the midst of that whirlwind of love and passion, the only audible moans were those of Jihyo next to you while she quickly rubbed her pussy, since yours were all silenced by your own lips. All of Dahyun's hair was down in your face, but it was the last thing you cared about right now.

"I'm going to cum Dubu..." you gasped in the middle of the kiss, "where..."

"Inside, darling, cum inside… cum with me," she moaned, grabbing her thighs on either side of your torso as she cast aside all traces of sensuality and finesse and began bouncing quickly on your cock.

"Are you sure?" you made sure, clearly wanting to.

"Just do it, I want to feel it, fuck!" She clung to your shoulders again, this time slightly digging her nails into them as she concentrated on moving her hips.

You let yourself be carried away for the moment, and you just closed your eyes as you held on to her with your arms, the scent of her hair, her moans, her pretty face of pleasure, her incredibly tight pussy, everything made the perfect combination to take you to your second orgasm of the night, both yours and hers. You exploded inside her with a loud moan, which seconds later was imitated by Dahyun but at least two decibels above. She returned to the sensual movements as her body succumbed to the intense spasms. Meanwhile, your cock was shooting thick strips of cum into her pretty pink pussy, which was being completely filled by every second you spent inside her. Dubu dropped her head next to yours in the middle of whimpers, while she cupped the side of your face with one of her hands and with the other crumpled the pillowcase.

Jihyo had kept rubbing her pussy all this time, and it wasn't until your orgasm passed that hers took center stage. Her body shook uncontrollably all over the side of her mattress amid screams of pleasure, a small squirt came out of her pussy, which stained her own thigh and part of the sheet under her. She continued rubbing and rubbing, until the liquid that was now coming out in little streams stopped coming out.

Knowing what had just happened between the two of you, Jihyo didn't bother to regain her energy before getting behind Dahyun's ass and making you pull your cock out of her, letting your cum run free out of her pussy and straight down in your shaft again. She grabbed your dick at the base and began to clean your cum with her tongue until it was clean again, then she concentrated on Dubu, firmly grabbing her ass and immersing her mouth in her pussy, eating and cleaning any trace of your cum in between her sensitive folds.

After leaving you clean, Jihyo lay down next to you again, while you still kept your eyes closed and your arms clinging to your... girlfriend? There was no sound in the bedroom, just gasping from the three of you.

"Well… rest up, there's still a cake to cut out there," Jihyo said, with a small giggle.

You and Dubu ignored her, and just fell asleep.

———————————————————————

Spren Notes:

Well, this story is definitely a bit different than what I usually do with OCs, but I hope you like it! By the way, I broke records for words written in a single day with this. 6k in a single day, lmao.

If you, dear reader, are interested in buying me a commission, do not hesitate to go through my inbox, I’ll be delighted!

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levmada · 4 months

Note

PLEASE write about Levi’s mental state, i’m begging you

He’s faced death and precarious situations since he was born, yet he’s still standing strong and hopeful, WHAT THE HELL I LOVE MY SHORT KING

IT'S FINALLY HERE😭im sorry anon i hope you're around to see this and if u are i hope i dont disappoint

the tone in this analysis is so weird because i kept getting caught between 'this is an apa paper no contractions, academic language, double spacing -' and 'this is a tumblr post about a fictional blorbo wtf r u on'

i also use some scientific language i try my best to explain but if this turns anyone off i don't blame them because im unhealthily obsessed

*i'm a third-year undergraduate psychology student w/ a concentration in psychopathology

tw/cw: discussion of childhood exposure to sex (not assault)

Foreword

I’ve been putting this off for a while (I’m forgetful and this topic is intimidating what can I say), but being a year out from graduating with my bachelor’s to become a mental health professional, and being a Levi scholar(/hj), I wanted to give this a shot.

I wanted to dissect and examine Levi Ackerman’s mental health “currently” (as in general canon), and explain as thoroughly but as simply as possible how and why he thinks and acts the way he does.

Seeing how AOT is pretty renowned for leaving out the ‘insignificant’ details, especially character details, a good majority of my assertions and even details of his life are built off of correlations and “signs and symptoms”; meaning some things could be an aspect of Levi’s personality, or a symptom of psychopathology.

I will examine his childhood (especially his childhood), adolescence, young adulthood, and “present” adulthood, with a short summary at the end of where he might be mentally after the war.

*Lastly, I don’t like it when things I say about a series or character are taken as fact or make it implied that someone else’s thoughts are “wrong”. This is partly built on headcanons anyway, which are influenced by my own experiences. Don’t take away from this that this is me telling you what to think.*

Childhood

The most important period of development occurs in infancy and childhood, especially from the ages of 3-6. This is when a child learns where to find security, love, and basic skills, gaining stability as they develop.

Well, Kuchel died when Levi was 4.

Maternal Love / Learning Empathy / Anxious Attachment Style

Levi was born into deep poverty within a violent unwelcoming environment. Basic physical needs must have been very hard to meet (i.e., consistently fed enough, a clean environment, no physical threats). And where Levi was born is like the dictionary definition of a bad environment for a small child, excluding only his mother’s care and love.

As it’s generally understood in canon (and suggested from Levi’s special backstory manga so far) she was a caring parental figure early in Levi’s life that loved him unconditionally. We can conclude that Kuchel did everything within her power to compensate for both parenting Levi alone and shielding him the best she could from his horrible surroundings, teaching the kindness, goodness, and love that Levi would internalize and go on to strive for for his entire life.

As far as we know, no other children lived in the brothel. Socialization is just as important for a young child as receiving love. With this isolation, it’s extremely difficult to learn how to connect to other people, or pick up on social cues. Levi would’ve never learned how to interact properly with his peers—aside from use of aggression and violence which Kenny would go on to instill in him.

With the danger/anxiety imposed by strangers, mostly if not entirely men, he would turn to his mother for comfort all. The. Time.

And she would give him that support and affection of course. This early motherly affection is integral to child development: a child who receives empathy and affection is subliminally taught how to feel and express empathy towards others.

While Levi’s surroundings were dangerous, lonely, and chaotic—traumatizing enough for a toddler or young child—Kuchel provided a safety net from that, so I think that Levi developed an anxious attachment as a child: exhibiting clinginess, excessive fear of abandonment, and an excessive need for security and/or reassurance.

Paternal Trauma / Potential Androphobia

Born and living in a brothel, we can assume that Levi was probably seen as a burden and a mistake by others, especially by men (both the likely majority of her customers and her boss).

AOT ch69; Before the Fall, ch34

This is likely in contrast to the women (those living and working in the brothel like Kuchel). They should know Kuchel if not as friends, then acquaintances who could empathize for her and her son.

There’s an obvious trend here. If Levi is going to feel fear/danger/anxiety because of men, he should have a general aversion to men and-or the behavior of men who he encountered as a child. This is impossible to know for sure or in meaningful detail, but it seemed to be resolved by the time he became an adult if so.

Although Kenny in his words was no more than Levi's teacher, Levi did see him as a father figure.

The subject of Kenny will be expanded on later, but it's clear Kenny in no way resembled a father, who also would go on to abandon Levi (at the age of 11 or so). Children without father figures tend to struggle more emotionally, psychologically, and socially. Specifically, (especially boys) tend to exhibit intimidating/aggressive personas to compensate for resentment, fear, and unhappiness.

Sexual Trauma (Tangent, Probably)

This is unconfirmed but a likely trauma Levi went through: exposure to sex as a child. There’s no way to confirm what he experienced, so I’ll function on ‘probably’s’ and ��most likely’s’.

Because Levi and Kuchel only lived in one room, other rooms in the brothel should have belonged to other women, and he was at the oldest four, I wager that he was babysat by women who Kuchel knew and/or was made to hide somewhere while she worked, such as in a cabinet.

(for reference)

AOT ch69

The odds are high that he was exposed to the aftermath of sexual violence (i.e., marks seen on his mother), and the sound or smells that have to do with it. That young, he wouldn’t know what it was, but he should have realized later as an adolescent.

In general, children regardless of gender exposed to sexual content usually experience early puberty (which is just as likely for impoverished children, or children who experience chronic high-stress in general); issues with intimacy; become desensitized to high-risk behavior; negative/inaccurate expectations about sex and relationships in the future; influence inappropriate behavior with other children or adults; sex addiction.

This is especially relevant to Levi’s fear of closeness/intimacy in the future. Exposure to sexual situations—possibly not including CSA in his case—very early in life inflicts on a child emotions and stress they don’t have the intellect or reasoning to process or understand. An extreme aversion to interpersonal relationships, especially physical ones, results.

This stress Levi must have felt, being powerless to this happening to his mother, is a different beast. Children aren’t capable of handling high levels of stress, and so the brain will automatically create coping mechanisms: dissociation (a severe form of “zoning out”; observing the self “from the third person”; numbness; the feeling of living in a dream), excessive daydreaming/overactive imagination, symptoms of PTSD (nightmares and terrors; flashbacks; spontaneous activation of fight-flight-freeze associated with anxiety; excessive worrying/fear; loneliness/self isolation). PTSD will also be prevalent in Levi’s later life, which I’ll delve into later.

Inappropriate behavior and sex addiction are also highlights for me because they shouldn’t exist in him based on Levi's personality and behavior throughout the series. In my opinion, Levi ought to associate sex with pain, shame, and violence; he does see it as an ordinary job—a means to an end. He should be desensitized to sex as a concept, but associates it personally with shame, sadness, and pain, possibly feeling disgust towards it. So it is highly likely that Levi in every stage of life following this experienced sexual repulsion (usually associated with high anxiety towards sex), a low libido, or a lack of sexual desire entirely.

From a trauma perspective, he could avoid sexual topics of conversation, sexual settings (i.e., brothels), or an array of things which are sexually suggestive or he as a child possibly associated with sex (i.e., cleavage, panties, specific touch). Similarly, he might avoid direct reminders or have a post-traumatic reaction to them, such as anxiety or flashbacks (i.e., the sound of a bed creaking, the sight of wet clothes).

Importantly, it can be concluded that sexual violence was often exhibited, and the idea would be ingrained in him that sex, like everything else besides his relationship with his mother, is “give-and-take”, “victim-and-attacker”, and learn to be repulsed by intimacy. This impacts his willingness for later friendships and relationships as we’ll see later.

Early Abandonment & Early Exposure to Death

As Kuchel’s health deteriorated, Levi’s sense of security would break down. Availability of shelter, food, and emotional support would be even less secure than before. He might have been providing for Kuchel for some time, even, as it can be gathered that he received little to no help from those around him while she was sick. To whatever length he had to take responsibility and both fear for Kuchel, this would cement a sense of responsibility and guilt in him from the age of just four years old.

He will fail to save her—regardless of the fact that that’s not his responsibility in the first place; a child wouldn’t understand that—and then lose her with nothing he could do to even cushion the blow.

How powerless he must’ve felt. How hopeless. How likely is it that Levi found comfort in joining her? A child his age wouldn’t be able to comprehend death, basing our understanding on Piaget’s theory of cognitive development. To summarize, at the age of six or seven, children aren’t capable of complex, abstract thought like death or the finality of it. But Levi had to learn early.

AOT ch69

This will be center in his “clean-freak” tendencies later.

Adolescence

Most of this section is going to be rather vague again, but we already got the bulk of that over with in childhood!

Emotional Train Wreck / Lack of Identity

It’s hard to notice if you’re not paying attention, but in every scene we’re shown with Levi after his mother dies but before Kenny leaves, he’s wearing some variation of his mother’s one dress styled into a shirt. He loves her endlessly, even or especially in death. And part of cherishing her memory, to him, should’ve been taking after her as much as he could.

That’s how to explain why he didn’t become a cruel person (Kenny for instance) as he grew into a teenager, even though much of Levi’s outlook and behaviors come from him (ch57).

The more pertinent question is how extreme violence, reinforcement of the idea that that violence is power, and Kenny’s total (or most likely total) lack of communicated emotional connection affected him.

Levi would still desperately want that connection deep down, especially with his mother gone. This is a major reason why Levi sought to get stronger to please Kenny. For chronically abandoned people, that continues into adulthood and even beyond. A hole inside which can't be filled.

AOT ch69

Chronic loneliness—like I explained before—basically explains his aloof nature and awkward disposition. It’s not that Levi feels as detached as he looks, but he doesn’t know how to express himself or open up. He wouldn’t learn how to process his emotions, let alone talk about them. He’s basically emotionally stunted and immature in impersonal relationships (between friends and especially in regards to intimacy).

The Underground’s environment also makes him socially awkward, rude, of course stoic/not very expressive, and blunt. Levi was forced to become extremely observant of people to suss out their intentions, remaining vigilant of his surroundings at all times.

Levi doesn’t even get affection in any sense anymore. He doesn’t get a hug or a pat on the back, and he certainly doesn’t get a shoulder to cry on.

If anything, Kenny would punish him for showing weakness. Vulnerability is weakness; weakness is death.

What results is a continuous and boundless sense of emptiness inside that can’t be filled. He’s plagued by a chronic sense of unbelonging and loneliness. There’s no time or opportunity to develop “normally” as an adolescent. Socialization is limited at best; thinking of his place in the world is irrelevant when his one and only most pressing goal is survival; he doesn’t get to explore hobbies or interests.

OCD Propensity

One “interest” Levi is passionate about is cleaning, at least. Disease is what caused his mother to die. The easiest cause to point to would be their disgusting surroundings (although, Kuchel was infected by a customer). It is canon that Levi’s love of cleaning comes from "his personal experiences". In that interview, Levi first specifically references the important of fighting disease.

In other words, his "clean freak" nature comes, primarily, from the death of his mother: Filth -> disease -> death, and abandonment by extension.

His mother would’ve encouraged him to keep their room clean. There were times he or she had to have come down with something and dirtiness was the cause. On top of Kenny’s enforcement to keep up “clean” appearances to garner respect from everyone else in the Underground.

This in particular is extremely relevant to his mental health. When someone feels out of control of what is happening to them, especially in a recurring way, and especially as a child who doesn't yet know how to feel stable in an unstable environment, they look for something to control. It can be weight, bodily functions (blinking, breathing, etc), dominance over others, or cleaning, for instance.

Fear of disease, the urgent need to have control, and the basic need for stability makes it obvious that Levi would become obsessed with cleaning. And moreover, developing OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). I’ll go deeper into this diagnosis later.

Lack of Self Worth

Despite the acknowledgment throughout canon that he trusts in his own strength, it wasn’t always that way.

Canonically, Levi sought praise from Kenny by showing his strength because that was the only thing he received praise for. The conclusion Levi came to once Kenny left him was that he wasn’t strong enough (wasn’t good enough) to warrant staying with him.

In conjunction, Levi’s first conclusion was that he did something wrong, not that Kenny possibly had some obligation that forced him to leave the Underground, pointing again to his own lack of self-worth.

This scenario created a complex in him, the very root cause of Levi’s pain, the very foundation of what Levi would go on to prioritize in adulthood. If he isn’t useful to those he wants not to abandon him, he’s worthless. He’s only useful when he shows his strength. Every other aspect of him like his interests is either irrelevant or bland by default in his eyes.

He would go on to make it his mission to try his best to be good enough in order to save and protect the lives of others, but foremost those he cares about.

Young Adulthood

Our first exposure to Levi as an adult is in A Choice with No Regrets, his OVA/backstory.

(By the way, I’ll be basing this analysis off a mix of the manga and the OVA.)

Emotional Immaturity/Affective Dysregulation

Generally, Levi’s defining negative character trait as a young adult is his emotional immaturity/anti-social behavior. Yes he’s grumpy and rude which is always indicative of him, but he’s very quick to anger, too. He cursed at the Squad Leader who offended him (by assuming that because he, Isabel, and Farlan are from the Underground, they’d be dirty), and argued furiously with Farlan that he would kill Erwin—not because it was required for the job, but because he disrespected him—for a few examples.

ACWNR ch2

He tended to be arrogant, too. Such as when he ultimately called a Scout who had experience with the Titans stupid for telling Levi to hold his swords in a certain way. He spoke to every officer the same as he would anyone on the street, having a remarkable lack of basic respect for authority. He was insistent on distancing himself from the entire setting and structure of the Scouts as much as possible, both to not get attached, and he found their mission childish/foolish.

He’s rather selfish. There is nothing Levi cares about genuinely more than Isabel’s and Farlan’s lives and the job that will set them up with a good future. Farlan’s advice is the only one’s he takes and the only judgment outside himself that he considers, such as when Farlan asks him to not cause trouble with authority to keep a low profile, but even then he acts stubborn. Levi trusts nobody wholeheartedly except himself (until later in ACWNR).

There’s a cognitive dissonance in him. Growing up, and still as a young adult, Levi’s headspace is marked by fear and uncertainty, with his power as his source of confidence. The first time he kills a Titan (with Isabel and Farlan), he uses too much gas because he refuses to potentially risk his friends’ lives; when the expedition is upcoming, he abruptly tells Farlan and Isabel to find a reason to stay back, and that he’ll complete the dangerous part of the job on his own.

Levi is full of repressed fear and uncertainty. He hides and/or buries all of it for the sake of self-preservation both emotionally and physically.

Antisocial Personality…?

It’s extremely interesting how a character as selfless, heroic, and empathetic as Levi exhibits antisocial symptoms. I’d even argue that if his childhood was spent entirely without his mother figure, then he might be a dictionary definition of ASPD (Antisocial Personality Disorder).

People with this disorder live day-to-day under the constant assumption that whoever is around them is “out to get them”/searching for a weakness to exploit. Humanity is made up of only prey and predators; morals are completely subjective, perpetuated by the society that surrounds them. This constant need to defend oneself, the effect of the exact trauma the potential sociopath experienced, combined with a muted emotional spectrum, results in a complete disregard of everything, including people outside of themself. They might believe they’re entitled to comfort or admiration, but overall, they’re intensely self-serving, often aggressive, and ruthless.

Because Levi for instance learned to rely on violence both for “love” and survival, then he might fall on violence to manipulate a person or situation into serving himself. I see reason to believe that Levi could have grown into worse than Kenny’s image if it weren’t for his mother’s influence.

However, the greatest cause for deniability is Levi’s wide emotional spectrum (especially including empathy and shame), while a lack of shame is the most significant marker of ASPD . (It is arguably one of many testaments to his strength that a victim of so much suffering, violence, and cruelty could become a man as empathetic as him.)

However, these tendencies may still be relevant: A sense of arrogance—both to the way Levi thinks of some who he perceives as weak and live without good morals—lacking issue with using deceit or violence to attain a goal, and living outside the rule of authority.

I go into more detail about this idea here.

Conclusion

As is true in general, there’s very little to say of mental development once someone has reached their early–mid-twenties. What we know of Levi’s young adulthood does reinforce his fear of abandonment, but he finds a cause where his strength and compassion can be “put to good use” and give to him a life that is worth living.

Conclusion: the ‘Present’/Diagnoses Overview

C-PTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)

Levi’s emotional dysregulation (i.e., inability to sit with and process negative emotions), his difficulties in relationships, insomnia, negative worldview, absent sense of self, and finally, his persistent sense of unworthiness/worthlessness are all indicative of C-PTSD. It’s distinct from PTSD in that he didn’t endure one short-term traumatizing event, but he grew up surrounded by trauma and saw it as normal (e.g., gang violence, extreme poverty, death of a parent, (more presumably) physically and emotionally abusive parental figure). Levi as a child developed no understanding of a nurturing, secure environment.

Negative/Absent Sense of Self

I’ve talked about this at length already, but it’s worth noting how Levi’s perception of himself must have changed when it was revealed that he is extremely strong physically not from his own efforts as much, but because he’s an Ackerman.

His self-confidence and self-worth have always been built on the foundation of his strength. He’s useful if he’s strong, so he’s worthy if he’s strong. Along with the extreme high pressure his goal to kill Zeke put on him in season four, he might have gone to extreme measures to compensate for his strength he might have felt was “unearned” (such as excessive exercise for example). This is an aside, but it was a blow to him for sure.

Emotional Dysregulation

The causes of emotional dysregulation generally which he experienced are as follows: early childhood trauma, feelings ignored, judged, or invalidated at a young age, and physical and emotional child neglect. Beyond his first four years of life with his mother, Levi experienced all these things (early exposure to sex and likely exposure to domestic violence aside).

It’s important to focus on emotional neglect specifically, when any and all perceived “weakness”, no matter how small, is unacceptable to Levi. He will never ask for help (being independent to a fault), he can’t define or process his emotions, and it doesn’t occur to him—and it could be a shock—when he learns that his friends care about him, not him insofar as how useful he is.

As an adult, Levi appears to be emotionally mature, but I argue that this isn’t the case. It’s more accurate to say that he has better control over his emotions (in that he buries them or ignores them) with a mature outlook because of all his experiences with suffering.

Similarly, he’s not outwardly emotional not because he’s antisocial (as related to ASPD, not introversion), but because he’s so “emotionally constipated” that he’s numbed the vast majority of the time.

Relationship Issues + Fear of Abandonment

Because of his fear of abandonment and impaired emotional intelligence in close relational conflict, he’s extremely passive and/or passive aggressive. In order to avoid potential abandonment, he doesn’t go out of his way to win major arguments—such as threatening to break Erwin’s legs if he didn’t stay away from the expedition in season three, but ultimately giving in. He’s also more likely to sneak petty insults into arguments, give “silent treatment”, slam doors, etc. His kindness and exceptional empathy shouldn’t let him be physically or overly violent.

These are likely additions to why Levi doesn’t foster many close relationships.

Fittingly, as a child I thought that Levi might have had an anxious attachment style (clingy, excessive need for security), but as this possibility for security was removed entirely, and he was taught to not rely on others, he would develop more of an overt avoidant attachment in adulthood in combination (fearful-avoidant): making very few emotional demands—even though he has needs—withdrawing when there’s conflict, acting aloof yet fearing abandonment, having difficulty expressing emotions he feels intensely, and fear of depending on someone else.

Anxiety

His cool-headedness even in the heat of battle/war (other factors like experience aside) is exactly what you would expect from someone diagnosed with C-PTSD; he’s accustomed to chronic high-stress. But small stressors (i.e., a change of plans) are overwhelming and make him quick to anger/excessive annoyance.

OCD

Emotional dysregulation is also closely associated with OCD.

OCD is much much more than being concerned with keeping clean or organized. OCD is an anxiety disorder composed of anxiety-related obsessions and compulsions, such as frequent and disturbing thoughts or images (intrusive thoughts). These attempt to be managed through rituals (i.e., handwashing, counting in patterns). Although symptoms will fluctuate with anxiety, OCD at its baseline is a distressing disorder.

Since he was young, Levi should have had an incessant need to be in control at all times. A shining example of this is his mother’s death, an incident he couldn’t control but included dirtiness/disease as a cause he could pinpoint, so this anxiety with dirtiness becomes a major obsession, and the compulsion is cleaning. (Putting aside the fact that Levi enjoys cleaning by itself too.)

It’s a widely-held belief that if Levi has OCD, it’s contamination OCD, as it specifically has to do with an obsession with dirtiness and a compulsion in cleaning (i.e., damaging handwashing, ritualized bathing that may take hours). However, based on the multitude of times Levi was covered in blood and remained unbothered by it (Titan and human), and in fact the obsession’s lack of relevance entirely during urgent missions/situations, contamination OCD is simply not plausible. Instead, it’s general OCD.

There’s no way to know for sure, but I don’t see his OCD as mild or severe. Levi is an extremely orderly and balanced person, so it can be concluded he must have things done a certain way, routinely, organizational, or planned; when the dirtiness is “negative” (i.e., Titan blood, blood on a knife he used to kill Isabel’s attackers), he is never more rigid with cleanliness; it’s probable he suffers intrusive thoughts (likely of the violent nature), a fear of contamination, and/or counting ritualistically, but the most obvious compulsion is cleaning. He might have sensory issues, such as disgust if he happens to brush shoulders with a stranger; aversion to particularly bright lights, irrational rage towards “mouth sounds” (i.e., chewing, coughing, swallowing), etc.

EDNOS (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified)

Levi should have a complicated relationship with food to say the least.

In the realm of eating disorders, EDNOS is sort of a catch-all term when an individual doesn’t qualify for the diagnostic criteria of anorexia or bulimia, and it encompasses lesser-known eating disorders like Pica. It’s the most common diagnosis for clinical eating disorders.

I already covered how integral the early years of life are, and beginning at a young age, if children aren’t given a basic need like food, and they must seek out food on their own, it becomes an anxiety deeply rooted in the brain regardless of how well-fed they are when they’re older. There will always be an urge to have food available. Levi’s years in the Underground were spent either actively starving, or going about every single day having acquiring food as top priority. He was a young adult when he left, so it’s impossible to unlearn this (without extensive therapy, which Levi doesn’t seek). It’s similar to compulsions found in OCD: even though he logically knows that there will be a dinner after lunch, it’s impossible to put aside this worry.

That may mean always having food stashed, eating too much—especially in his early years Aboveground when he’d eat as much food in a day than he’d eat in a week Underground— stealing food, or eating way too quickly (as someone who lived in a place where food was considered something of a luxury resource and threatened being stolen at any time).

The latter factor contributes to Levi’s suggested preference to only eat alone—joining the fact that Levi only eats with Erwin after expeditions. Eating in front of others should be considered a weakness to him.

As time passes with this easy access to food, combined with his extremely narrow sense of what makes him “good enough”, his relationship with eating may become toxic. Especially when the stakes of his worthiness are so high—literally life and death. He may think that he’s privileged to eat at all, and when he feels worthless, he restricts himself from that “privilege”.

He may be so accustomed to the feeling of hunger, that it doesn’t immediately register with his mind when he is hungry.

Lastly, he may have a generally low appetite. This is often associated with depression, but depression is comorbid with C-PTSD.

Misc.

Some tangents/miscellaneous speculation about Levi’s psychology:

Queer?

Sexuality is formed and shifts due to a wide variety of factors, which most if not all are terribly understudied: genetics, hormones, and your environment/experiences. So again, my speculation.

With his fear of close relationships and negative experiences with sex, I think he should land somewhere on the queer spectrum, specifically under the asexual or aromantic umbrella (i.e., pansexuality/being panromantic (attraction to personality) and demisexuality/being demiromantic (attraction only to those he has an emotional connection to)).

MDD

The odds of Levi having MDD (major depressive disorder/clinical depression) are iffy. Most if not all of the symptoms are comorbid with childhood trauma and C-PTSD: Such as persistent apathy, guilt, and/or discontent; sleeping too much or too little; lack of energy; reduced or heightened appetite; irritability.

Oftentimes, depression, C-/PTSD, and related mental illnesses cause unexplained physical pain, such as back pain and occasional tension headaches. “Stress hormones” like adrenaline are built-up in the body, and usually persist without physical therapy and-or medication (Disclaimer this mention is based on nothing more than Levi always standing with at least one hand on his hip).

Body Language

Similar can be said of his body language from a cognitive perspective. The vast majority of the time, Levi has himself closed-off in some way, usually by crossing his arms to protect his chest; a subconscious barrier between oneself and another person.

Also see this official art of Levi asleep.

Afterword

We’ve known it’s not just Levi’s physical strength and skill that makes him the strongest, right? It should take immense mental strength to make it day-by-day dealing with the trauma and issues that he does, but not only has he survived and continues to, but he lives heroically, selflessly, with the wellbeing of everyone around him as a top priority. He buries all of his pain by moving forward always and without exception regardless of how painful the present is. Living with “no regrets” should in mental respects be a guise for pushing his trauma down, too; there’s just no words that can properly do Levi’s resilience justice.

Part of me wants to go into detail about his later adulthood, but given how very little we know (right now), I think it’d be too speculative.

However, based on what we have seen at the ending of AOT, it’s comforting to know and plain to see that Levi wasn’t defeated when he “lost” the reason to be so strong, and even his strength itself; he didn’t lose his love for his friends nor of life.

In middle age, based on Erikson’s psychosocial stages, the conflict that should enter Levi’s life is the idea of generativity versus stagnation. He seems satisfied with his life despite the negative effects of all he went through—grief, physical disability, inevitable mental scarring—and he’s still concerned with helping others, especially the younger generation in a world after the overwhelming devastation that was the Rumbling.

My speculated psychopathologies/diagnoses of Levi:

C-PTSD (insomnia prevalent)

OCD (contamination obsessions)

EDNOS

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pedgito · 1 year

Note

how about eddie teasing the reader about squirting until he realizes she never has and makes it a mission to fix that?? bonus points for a clueless eddie also, he’s just really determined to please his partner

author’s note: fair warning i have no idea how this truly works so it may be all wrong lol, but i tried

cw: 18+ (minors dni) teasing eddie, implied cluelessness for both eddie/reader since they’re newly not virgin anymore, established relationship, oral (f receiving), protected sex, intense orgasms/squirting, lmk if i missed anything!

word count: 1.5k

The topic came up randomly one night when you were stretched out on the couch, legs draped over Eddie’s as he rambled on about his day, endless conversation about his favorite song of the week and what Dustin had done to get under his skin for the umpteenth time. Yet somehow, things always lingered into sex—Eddie couldn’t help it.

“Don’t look at me like that.” You shove Eddie gently, pouting in response to his bereft expression, not believing you for a second.

“Say that again.” Eddie asks, head tilting forward slightly as if it would make him hear better—not that he didn’t hear you loud and clear the first time.

“Eddie, it’s not funny.” You scold him and Eddie laughs, running his hands along the thighs placed over his lap, squeezing gently. “I don’t even think I can.”

“You can.” Eddie says, knowing look on his face.

“And how would you know?” You ask, forcing him to prove whatever point he was trying to make.

“Lover’s intuition.” Eddie shrugs. “Come on, seriously?”

You nod just as fervently, bordering on a deep annoyance that Eddie couldn’t just take you at face value.

“Come on,” He orders, lifting himself up off the couch and slipping his fingers under your palm, pulling you with him. You dig your heels in slightly, adding resistance, “baby—“

Eddie can see the crease in your brow, frustration and bubbling annoyance now obvious. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to do anything, you just didn’t want to disappoint.

“You always say you’re okay with trying new things, right?” Eddie asks, “so, why not this?”

“It’s not gonna work.” Eddie’s used to the stubbornness, using his finger to poke at your cheeks until your lips turn up into a smile, feebly shoving his hands away.

“Look, I’m pretty damn persistent.”

“Yeah, clearly.” You tell him lovingly, letting him drag you along into his room.

“Feel anything?” Eddie asks with a huff of a breath as he pulls away from your cunt, curls ticking your thighs as you squeezed at him tauntingly.

“Not if you keep stopping every five minutes to ask.” You retort, “—but no, nothing.”

Eddie sighs thoughtfully, not upset or frustrated—just confused.

He wasn’t going to admit it, but he hadn’t done much reading up on it—surprise. He’s also never caused it firsthand, so he was going in blind. It couldn’t have been a myth, he’s heard of it—seen it in those shitty pornos he snuck out of Family Video during Steve’s shift, knowing Steve was too caught up in his own tales of women to care—and outside you, he was clueless.

“Maybe—maybe we do need to have sex.” You tell him, glancing down at him from between your legs, “If you want.”

“You don’t even have to ask.” Eddie laughs, somehow removing his underwear without you noticing, shifting himself between your legs. “Condom?”

“Shit, right—“ You stammer, leaning over at an uncomfortable angle to fetch the small foil package from his bedside, shoving it at his chest, “there.”

Eddie slips the latex on silently, eyes squinted in concentration.

“Um,” You pause, hesitant to add considering how shy you were on the subject, “maybe we could try something.”

“Other than sex?” Eddie asks with wide-eye concern, wondering what else there could possibly be to try.

“No, like—positions.” You tell him.

“Oh. Oh.” He responds quickly, he rubs at your thighs comfortingly, “What do you think will help?”

If it weren’t for you both being so new to all of it, you would’ve felt embarrassed—but you knew Eddie was just as clueless, if not more.

“Just do whatever feels right, I guess.” You suggest, “Trust me, I’ll let you know.”

Eddie grins widely, hooking your legs over his hips as he spreads his thighs wide, “I sure fucking hope so.”

Eddie glides in easily, having worked you up for the last hour with no actual progress toward the goal, but making you feel just as good as you needed, any earlier nerves gone.

“Never gets old,” Eddie says to himself, but it makes you chuckle, heel digging into his back until he falls forward, palms catching himself in the process, “—fuck.”

“Yeah,” You sigh, sharing the sentiment, drowned out by a soft moan as Eddie moves his hips slowly, relishing in the feeling of you around him, in front of him, with him. Not a day goes by where Eddie can believe it, that you chose to be with him—for whatever fucking reason that was. But, he never takes it for granted, “—faster Eddie, you don’t have to be that careful.”

Eddie grins shyly, burying his face into your neck as the movement pushes your hips, changing the angle in a way that has you gasping involuntarily.

He sucks at a tender spot under your collar, pulling your shirt to the side to hide the quickly growing bruise. “Oh fuck, that’s good.” You comment absentmindedly, his hips quickening gradually until they’re a steady sound of skin against skin, grunts and moans mixing together in the heat of it all. But, it’s still not enough.

You say it aloud, eyebrows furrowing in frustration, “I told you it’s impossible.”

Eddie pulls back slightly, his hips slowing for a moment.

“Let me try something?” He asks softly, adjusting the trim of your shirt higher up your stomach before his hands are traveling around the back of your thighs, just under the bend of your knee until they’re settled over his shoulders and—

“Oh,” You comment in shock, feeling Eddie slip deeper than you thought was possible, feeling the tinge in your gut grow stronger, “okay—“

“Jackpot,” Eddie jokes, bottom lip pulled between his teeth as he thrusts without warning and you can’t help but whimper, hand shooting out against his chest for support, “I think we have a winner.”

“Shut up.” You feign annoyance, attempting to keep your composure as Eddie strengthens the pace, thumb rubbing into the soft, sensitive spot of your ankle before leaning his head to the side and pressing a kiss in the same spot—a stark difference to the brutal snap of his hips and it’s impossible to ignore.

He’s never been this deep before, the type of yearn for release that made your body ache, feeling him aim for the spot every time, each thrust gaining more and more precision until you couldn’t hold it together, nodding in response to a question that never comes. Eddie can see the tenseness on your face and his hand comes up wordlessly, rubbing quick circles of your swollen clit until you’re a begging, mumbling mess. His hand fists into the material of your shirt, using it as leverage to force himself deeper inside of you.

“Does it hurt?” Eddie chimes in softly, your eyes squeezed shut in an attempt to focus.

“No, no,” You rush out, “It’s good, so good.”

It only urges Eddie further, teetering on his own orgasm as you squeeze around him without warning, sharp gasp pulled from your chest as you came, shudder running through your body as you felt the gush of liquid and a surprised, “Oh, shit.” from Eddie as he came with you, unable to stave it off.

It’s intense, the orgasm, his finger slowing on your clit as you come back down, only realizing after just how messy it all was.

“Fuck, thank god we put a towel down.” Eddie comments through a breathless chuckle, “It was a big one, huh?”

You nod weakly, tapping at his wrist until he gets the message, lowering your legs back down carefully, muscles aching in protest. Your legs feel like jello, involuntarily shaking as you take a breath, pushing the loose hair away from your face.

Eddie discreetly disposes of the condom in the process, waiting until you’re coherent enough to respond, his hands massaging the tender muscles.

“You made a mess, by the way.” It’s a playful jab, Eddie pulling the towel away gently to wipe at his stomach before cleaning you up just as easily—it’s a small gesture but it makes your heart swell, waiting until he’s finished before grabbing his face in your hands, kissing him fully and soundly. “What was that for?”

“Lover’s intuition, I guess.” You murmur against his lips and Eddie chuckles loudly, pulling back to press a hand against your forehead, shoving the hair away. “You were right.”

“Well, I have no fucking clue how I did it,” Eddie says truthfully, “but I’ll gladly do it again.”

“Oh, definitely.” You grin. “We’re gonna turn you into a pro.”

Eddie takes the task very seriously.

Please consider a reblog if you enjoyed this fic! It’s makes a huge difference. ♡

#eddie munson smut #eddie munson #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson blurb #my writing #1kfic

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binsito · 5 months

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I loved your idea of hannie with his nail tech crush.. yk what i think though? OBVIOUSLY the nailtech kinda knows abt this little crush of his. She doesnt know how severe it is but she does notice the way he blushes slightly when she compliments his hands, or the way his eyes sparkle when she finally giggles at one of his jokes. Also who am i kidding the nail tech obviously ALSO finds hannie v v cute and v v hot bc,,,, he's hannie??? He's charming and handsome and he keeps his fingernails clean soooo maybe the next time he comes around, and she is feeling a little frustrated bc her own hands aren't enough fun for her.. she'll hint at wanting his fingers inside of her? Maybe she'll be kinda distracted and shy this tine or maybe she's bold and just straight up teases him by saying things that could be considered dirty but also might just be his pervy mind interpreting the wrong thing. Aaa idk i'm not a writer but yourw giving my head THOUGHTS

OHHHH MYGOD. thank god you left this ask bc i was dying to write more for this JASHDJA

warning: fingering, hand worshipping, swearing, slight perv!han jisung, lmk if i missed anything but it's pretty tame

wc: 914

hannie has to act normal.

hannie has to be cool.

hannie has to act like he doesn't go home after every appointment and edges his cock thinking about how nice it would be to have your lips wrapped around his tip.

so when he walks into the salon, straight into your suite and takes a seat at your chair - he makes a mental promise to himself that:

he. will. not. get. hard.

he won't get hard if you hold his hands, it's all part of your job.

he won't get hard if you smooth lotion on him, it's just a courtesy.

he won't get hard if you compliment his nails, they're only pretty because you made them pretty.

"hannie do you even put your fingers to use?"

what?

"you come here so often and yet they're rarely chipped or overgrown. you must not lift a finger." you smile.

oh.

he felt so stupid, of course he read into it in such a dumb, perverted way.

"you must take good care of yourself hm?"

fuck.

why couldn't he be normal? why couldn't he just have nice, clean thoughts? why was he getting hard? why couldn't he just keep his promise?

"your hands are always soft. i wish i had nice fingers like you. they're long and pretty.."

he clears his throat and laughs awkwardly. he was being such a loser.

"oh yeah.. they're definitely long, alright.. hah.." he says

who the fuck says that?

he literally wanted the ground to eat him up.

"yeah, they are. longer than mine." you giggle as you work on his polish.

"yeah.. way longer.."

and why he kept going? only god knows, but he definitely noticed your face flushing (and was he crazy or were you pressing your legs tightly together under the table?)

hannie doesn't think he's ever seen you this quiet, this concentrated on his hands before. after the conversation died out, there was no other topic to bounce off of. and normally han jisung would just start talking about random shit, would tell you your hair looked pretty or that he noticed your subtle eye makeup and that it looked nice.

but not now.

not today.

"hannie have you ever had problems reaching things with your fingers? i-it could just be because mine aren't as long as yours but.. you know they're never quite enough to reach."

"oh uh.. n-no but do you need help reaching something? i could help.."

"could you really? that's so sweet of you, hannie.." your smile could melt him into a puddle. you smile at him so sweetly, just for him and han jisung can't really handle that well.

"so what is it you need help with? something too high up or-"

"well.. i just can't seem to cum. doing your nails frustrates me so much. they look so nice so why can't i have them inside of me?" you pout at him.

the wind feels like it was knocked out of him. he thanks god that you have your own little suite and no one else was around to hear that.

"f-fuck, are you serious? holy shit, why didn't you say something sooner?"

"well because i'm a little shy and because i wanted to finish doing your set first, of course..

you really mean it though? will you actually help me?"

"yes.. fuck, yes i'll help you."

his eagerness was cute. unluckily for him, he still had to wait for you to cure his gel polish. his leg bouncing impatiently as you gave him a look to quit it.

he smiled shyly and let out a nervous chuckle as he tried to contain himself. once you were done, he damn near jumped out of his chair towards you. you put some of your supplies away and walked past him to lock the door. as soon as he felt the coast was clear and no one would walk in, he grabbed you - kissing you deeply and pressing you against his lean body.

it was an intense kiss, full of want and desire but you welcomed it because you had been feeling the same way. you pulled away slightly to grab his wrist, bringing it up towards your mouth so you could take two of his freshly manicured fingers in between your lips.

you made sure to get them nice and wet, saliva connecting them to the tip of your tongue when you pulled them out.

han jisung felt weak.

he found himself pressing you against the nearest wall, your pants long forgotten as he pumped his fingers inside you, finally leaving you fuller than your fingers ever could.

the pads of his fingers massaged your gummy spot and curled against it making your knees buckle. it was all too perfect and better than you could ever imagine. you knew the orgasm he was going to pull from you was going to be intense. you felt it bubbling up already and he hadn't even been touching you for long.

but when he brings his other hand forward to rub at your clit and you look down to catch a peek of his baby blue nails, you lose yourself to him and feel yourself cream around his fingers. clenching your cunt tightly against them, not wanting him to ever pull out.

however when he does pull out, he makes sure to have you watch as he sucks your essence off his fingers. rolling his eyes back at the taste and humming in satisfaction.

please refrain from reposting, modifying, translating, copying or stealing my work. - © binsito

#binsito #stray kids smut #skz smut #skz hard thoughts #skz x reader #💌 : binsito #han jisung smut #han jisung x reader #han smut #skz han #han : binsito

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smoochhyuka · 6 months

Text

Munch!Kai tasting heaven for the first time (HC)

Headcanons, I am working on a related imagine to this topic teehee. :>

○o。content warnings! nsfw, fem!reader, perv!kai, cunnilingus, pussy worship, simp!kai, committed relationship, brief mention of anal, mention of bondage

I do not think of Kai as a very sexual person, of course he has some urges like every healthy man his age, but that is the full extent of it

Until he met you, his sexy, cute, smart, perfect little girlfriend

I just think he is such a girlfriend-guy, especially since he doesn't have a lot of friends. All he cares about is you, he only needs you around for company (and his family and members ofc, this is a healthy codependency y'all!), you are enough to fulfill him in his life. And making you happy and satisfied in turn makes him happy. Happy wife happy life.

Anything you do gets him riled up. You dress up to go to a fancy restaurant with him? You are so cute, getting all dolled up just for him, looking so so gorgeous in that new, tight dress he brought you. You cut up some fruits for him to snack on? He is so lucky to have such a caring girlfriend to look out for him, you are surely going to help him with his other problem as well, right?

He is always a little horny around you.

He feels so blessed everytime you guys have sex. To him, it is like you are allowing him to do it with you.

Of course, he loves every part of you, especially your tummy, tits and thighs but nothing could have prepared him for your pussy.

The warm, wet and sensitive nerves have such a pretty and bright color. The smell exuding off of you is fogging his brain and your taste is addictive. The moment his tongue circled your clit he knew he was done for.

Your spongy walls take anything he gives them obediently, whether it being his cock, his tongue, a toy or his fingers.

He loves the way you squirm and twitch, he always needs to pin you down well. It prides him to know that your body feels so good and he also likes the dominance he has over you everytime he yanks you closer to him by your hips when you jolted a little too far away.

Did I mention he loves your smell? Sometimes he teases you all day, knowing you would get a little wetter everytime his innocent belly rubs would be a little too far down or everytime he whispers something mundane in your ear. Because running around in slightly damp underwear means a stronger smell that would hit him when he pulls them down in the evening.

Others might worry about it, but he doesn't mind worshipping your pussy after your workout. The only thing that comes to his mind is how creamy you get, nothing else. Brain empty.

Honestly it is a stress relieve for him. If something is bothering him or work has been a little too much to handle, he just asks you to sit on his face. It is like his whole mind shuts down and he is only fixated on the irresistible sensation on his tongue.

He has two favorite positions for cunnilingus. The first one being, as mentioned, you sitting on his face, his nose bumping your clit, his tongue in your hole. You can sit all the way down, your strong boyfriend doesn't mind, in fact, he welcomes it. The slight asphyxiation, not being able to move a lot, in combination with your concentrated smell is such an overwhelming experience that he is literally not able to think of anything else. He is quite literally pussy drunk. The other one is him on the floor and you sitting or lying at the edge of a bed, chair or coach. This allows him to lean into his submissive side, he feels like he is truly serving you instead of selfishly doing something to you. He can lock you in a tight position by your ass and seriously dig in without having to worry about being in a awkward position, since both of you are comfortable. If you grab him by his hair and tell him how good he is doing, he will see stars.

He is also so so noisy. Definitely a slurper, he would sometimes accentuate his tongue movements or wet splashes by 'emulating' them with his voice. If he is feeling more dominant, he will groan after a especially sweet noise of yours. He mumbles praises but you can't hear them since he is saying them with his head still between your legs, you only feel the vibrations. If he is leaning towards his submissive side he will whimper and moan a lot, especially when you pull his hair, order him around or praise him.

Let's just say, the last and only time Kai asked you to spread your legs at the dorm, all of the members were aware of what was happening.

Tried to edge you in the past but failed because he doesn't have the patience. He prefers to overstimulate you for that reason, that means he doesn't need to pull away.

Most of the time he is rather rough, because he eats you out like a starving madman. But sometimes, sometimes he just needs a little sweetness in life. Especially after a fight, something sad or tragic happened in either of your lives or he is just tired, he will be so gentle. His tongue delicately teasing you hole and folds, mostly ignoring your clit. Placing hot, open mouthed kisses onto it instead. Only his finger tips circling your entrance, sometimes toying with your other hole as well, sticking his index finger inside if you are okay with it.

He prefers you to wear as little clothing as possible for it, since he gets so messy with it. If you put on new lingerie for him he will most like take at least the bottom of so none of you (only you) worry about it.

He also likes to be fully naked, he gets so turned on and hot that clothing just feels uncomfortable. His dick is pulsating and twitching way too much to be confined, especially since he leaks a lot of precum. But if him wearing his clothes turns you on, he will gladly leave them on.

Everytime you are on your period he gets so sad. If you are comfortable, you can just go clean up/shower, put a tampon in and he will still eat it though.

He takes pride in his pussy eating skills, you made him aware how many women are willing to give up anything for a munch like him.

He also likes watching you masturbate, on video and in real life. If he is submissive, you can tie him up, sit in front of him or his stomach and just please yourself. It is frustrating so see, but also so hot. He can smell and see you, but not taste and touch you. Sometimes you will pump his bright pink cock. He will squirm around a lot, beg, whine to just let him have a quick taste. As soon as you are close to cumming you sit on his face to let him do the rest, the moment you come on his face he also does.

Kissing your lips is his love language.

#hueningkai hard hours #hueningkai hard thoughts #hueningkai x reader #hueningkai smut #txt smut #smoochwrites

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faretheeoscar · 7 months

Text

RED WINGS

Pairing: Marc Spector x reader, (brief mentions of Steven Grant & Jake Lockley)

--Warnings: 🔥18+, nsfw, period talk, swearing, period sex, mentions of blood, pussy eating, face riding--

Summary: you have period cramps and the boys find a way to help you to get rid of them

A/N: English is not my first language so I'm sorry if there’s any mistakes, this is also my first published blorbo so bear with me pls.

Proofread by my girls: @mandodinstuff & @lauraispunk

Word count: 2k~

Header by: @mandodinstuff

Period cramps, there is nothing worst that could exist in the whole world, the discomfort of them, the excruciating pain you feel each month,that you wouldn’t even wish it your worst enemy to experience it, has been incapacitating you all day.

You have been curled up in the bed wincing in pain without moving, while your sweet boyfriends have been doing everything on their power to help you with the stupid cramps, they know you always go through hell while on your period and it breaks their heart to see you crying and whimpering in pain.

———

For the past hour the boys have been searching on the internet methods to get your cramps go away, Steven whom was the last one that was trying to help you with your cramps, has been searching for information on every web page and blog he can click on, he’s really getting tired of reading and trying endless remedies that haven’t been helping you, alongside the ones that Jake has tried with you. He’s very concentrated while looking online, but he doesn’t find anything, he is about to give up and close the 100th article he has read about periods when suddenly something on the article in front of him catches his eye, he starts reading it and his face starts getting all shades of red while he does it, he finally has the information of a good way to make your cramps go away, according to the blog “empowered women” the most efficient way to help you have a slight relief of pain it’s is by giving you an orgasm…

Steven gets too nervous about it, his mind runs a thousand miles per hour on the thought of maybe hurting you even more by trying to have sex with you while you are in so much pain already, so he chickens out and gives Jake control of the body again, when Jake gets aware of the situation he starts discussing with the other two saying it’s too messy for him (even though Jake tends to be the messiest of them all) and that even though he’s not grossed by it, that blood reminds him of bad things and that he would be much more comfortable by stepping off from this one, he promises to them that he’ll help you later in a different way with the after care.

So that leaves Marc with control of the body and with the task in hand, he doesn’t know how to approach things, he’s usually not that sensitive like Steven with words or direct with them like Jake is, his mind keeps on running a thousand miles per hour while he tries to think about how he would approach the topic, he truly wants to help you, he decides to go to your shared bedroom and knock softly on the door.

———

“Hey baby, just came to see how you’re doin’, How you are feeling?”

He sees your curled up figure, you are hissing in pain and tears are falling from your eyes, you don’t even answer him, you just keep on crying.

Marc approaches you and sits down on the edge of the bed keeping some awkward distance between the two of you, as he still doesn’t know how to approach the topic.

“Is there anything I can do to help you?” Marc asks caressing your hair softly trying to ease you up and his nerves.

“There’s nothing, Steven and Jake have already tried everything, meds, massages, teas… you name it, but nothing helps, these stupid cramps won’t go away” You hiss in pain again and clutch your stomach. “I hate this, I hate it so much, wish there was a magical cure or something.”

Marc stares at you and fiddles with his fingers, he feels his mouth dry, and it’s like his mouth just decides to just say the thing that has been going inside his head.

“Orgasm” He blurts out, his cheeks redden and looks away from you.

You look up at him with a confused expression “What?”

“Orgasm” Marc clears his throat that feels like the fucking Sahara Desert at this point and directs his gaze back at you “Steven read that… if you…if a woman experiences an orgasm the pain goes away, I mean for a short period of time, it’s not a magical cure but…yeah it helps to ease the pain.”

You have to blink twice to progress what he is saying “I- I don’t know Marc, I’m on my period that’s just too messy, besides, I get very sensitive around there, I don’t think I could even, uh— take you guys fully inside, I’ll be too—-overstimulated” You blush at the thought of it and Marc chuckles nervously.

“Well, you know, there are other ways I can help you with that without you know… actual penetration” Marc just keeps on rambling still feeling nervous about the subject.

Your cheeks get even redder at Marc’s proposition.

“You’re not actually suggesting that-”

“Only if you want me to help you, I mean you know I’ll do anything to help you my love” Marc interrupts you but smiles at you, the blush keeps on creeping up from his neck to his cheeks.

“Well, I don’t know Marc I….” You want to say no, you really want to, but a sharp pain of another cramp comes your way, the feeling of a thousand needles piercing your uterus, makes you hiss and clutch to your stomach again, you just want to try to get rid of the pain, you’ll do anything at this point, so you suck up your pride and accept. “Okay, let’s do this.”

———————————

Marc spread out a towel on the bed below you by your request just to prevent staining the bed sheets, he thinks it’s silly cause he knows the mess is only probably getting only getting on his face and maybe his fingers, but he’s willing to comply to your requests.

He notices you are kind of nervous and hesitant about it, but he wants to ease you, so he starts kissing you and touching you in a soothing but still sexy kind of way, he’s trying to get rid also of his own nerves of doing this, trying to not think much about it, he starts trailing kisses down your body, he sneaks his hand below your oversized t-shirt and starts massaging your breasts, he knows you get sensitive there too, he knows you get a lot of pain and swallow on your breasts so he of course wants to help you get rid away of that pain too.

Your moans and whimpers when you feel the sudden relief of pain from your breasts being masterfully massaged by Marc start to melt his nervous and worries away, he is doing this for you right? He doesn’t need to get nervous about it, if it means taking care of you, he’ll do anything for you, besides its just… fluids, he has tasted blood before, of course it was his own… but it still counts right?

He slowly starts making his way down your body until he reaches the hem of your night shorts and pulls them down, along with your period panties, his breath hitches and he stares at your core for a moment, getting himself ready and trying to process what he is about to do.

You notice a certain hesitation on his gaze as you crook your neck up to see him between your thighs.

“You don’t have to really do this Marc I’ll be fine… I’ll just take another pill and—”

You were about to start a nonsense rambling when it gets interrupted when Marc without a warning starts to eat your pussy.

“S-s-shit” You shiver feeling the immediate overwhelming sensation of his mouth on you.

He presses the flat of his tongue against your clit, and starts eating you up slowly, he is taking his time, making sure you feel good, making sure he takes care of you properly, he starts with small circles and soft licks that have you squirming and dropping your head back on the pillows, when he notices your eagerness he hesitates but he decides to slip one finger into your cunt, just one only for good measure, cause he knows that you love to clench around something, he doesn’t want you to get to overwhelmed by it, cause he knows how sensitive you get when you are on your period, but he just knows that you can take one of his fingers slowly moving deep inside you, it’ll help him get you to your release faster.

You squirm and moan feeling the pleasure of it all, you take Marc’s hair on your hands and pull it softly earning a groan from him, you are starting to feel good, but there’s still something in the back of your head that doesn’t let you enjoy it fully, you look down at Marc and he feels your gaze on him, so that makes him looking up at you while he keeps on working deliciously on you, you moan but when you really look at him a really small smear of blood covering up his nose catches your glimpse, it totally distracts you, you lose concentration, feeling self-conscious and embarrassed about it, even though your wonderful boyfriend it’s willing to take this extends to help you, you start to feel a bit uncomfortable looking at him like that.

“Marc, stop. I can’t I just….”You sigh letting go of his head and resting your own back on the pillows defeated “It’s too messy, and I don’t know, I’m sorry but it’s not getting me anywhere.”

Marc stops what he is doing, he looks up at you, with a frown in his face, he quickly wipes his mouth with the towel that’s on the bed before moving his body up to face you again he cradles the side of your head, he knows you more than he knows himself and he is sure that you are probably getting nervous about it and the redness of your cheeks also tells him that, he chuckles and speaks softly to you.

“Baby, you don’t have to don’t feel self conscious about it, I really want to help you, I promise to you, it’s not that bad, in fact was actually… kind of enjoying it.”

You get shivers down your spine and now your mouth is the one that is fucking dry.

“You… you were?”

Marc chuckles and leads your small hand to touch his crotch, you immediately feel the big bulge on his pants, you let an involuntary moan when you feel the outline of his hard cock, the thought of him getting aroused by you even in that state, makes your head dizzy and filled with desire, you have to press your thighs against each other to not start squirming again.

Marc notices your reaction to him and chuckles, he gives you a kiss on your forehead.

“Will it help if you don’t see me?” Marc gives you a smirk and bites his lip mischievously.

“What do you mean?” You act like you don’t know what he means, but you are so embarrassed about it that you just don’t want to say it.

“Just sit on my face baby, just enjoy it, don’t have to look at the mess, don’t have to get self-conscious about it” He starts to trail down wet kisses along your neck. “Besides, you know how much I like you like to sit on me, the thought of your thighs squeezing my face makes me more excited, please, baby, want you to suffocate me with those thighs, want that pussy all over my face.” He lets out a low growl next to your ear that sends shivers down your spine.

You let out a pathetic moan and before you know it or even have the time to think about it, Marc grabs your body and lifts it up as if you weighed nothing, he pulls you up on top of him, and he positions himself better in bed so his face would be right between your thighs. He licks his lips in anticipation.

You look down at him, you are still hesitant so you lower yourself slowly over his face, your breath feeling even heavier with each passing second, but he can’t have non of it, his protective side tbh at wants to help you along with his lust has filled his senses, so he wraps his hands around your thighs and pulls you down rough into him, a feral groan vibrates through his body as his tongue finds your clit again and starts eating you out. You grab the made up headboard the guys have made out of books to try to balance yourself, while you start to rock your hips shyly against him, feeling the pleasure bulging up inside you again.

He starts licking you up again, this time a bit more feverish about it, he flats his tongue again over your clit and then starts to lick your folds up and down, this time he slips two thick fingers into your cunt, smiling and growling low as he hears you gasp for air. He curls his fingers upwards finding easily that sweet spongy spot that makes you whine and shake.

“Always making pretty noises for me” he murmurs. “That’s it let me help you sweetheart,”

You look down for a moment and see how lost he is while eating you out, he is so concentrated, his curls are a mess now, his brows are furrowed but you can see the satisfaction he has on doing this, it melts all your worries about doing this in a second, his eyes are closed he is ravishing on you, he feels that your movements are stuttering while you look at him, so he opens his eyes for a second to look at you.

And God… he looks perfect.

The look he gives you could almost make you confuse him with Steven, it’s the same lost look he gives you when he has you on the same position above him, you love how Steven always gets pussy drunk while you are riding his face, but to see the same look on Marc? the sight of him being in that state, it almost sends you over the edge.

Marc’s digs his digits further into your skin, wanting to press you even harder against his face, his hard grip on your hips is for sure are gonna leaving marks, but you don’t care. He keeps on letting out low growls and moans ,while his tongue is deep inside you, tasting you and enjoying himself, his pronounced nose catches your clit as you grind on his face, making your moans and legs shiver as the pleasure keeps on building inside you, you swear you are about to break when you let out the biggest and most pathetic moan you think you’ve ever let out.

“That’s my girl,” his low voice resonates deep inside you. “Use me beautiful,let me help you get the pain away.”

His words make you feel more aroused, you buckle your hips and start grinding harder against his face, your movements are sloppy, but he helps you a little by guiding you with the tight grip he has on your hips.

His mouth starts sucking hard your clit as he takes his two fingers again starts fucking you faster with them, the particular tension of your imminent release builds up more and more.

A low growl that sends vibrations to your core accompanied with his masterful fingers send you over the edge, panting hard while your vision turns white for a second, you keep on sloppy grinding on his face, while you feel the pain of your cramps melting away as your orgasm flushes over you, your legs shiver and you almost give in and crush him. Marc it’s quick to catch you with the help of the tight grip he has on your hips, he smiles in satisfaction and guides you down from him, and help you to lean on your side on the bed. Marc sits up quickly and goes to the bathroom to wipes the mess around his mouth before entering the room again with a warm towel to clean up the mess between your thighs and helping you put your underwear back along with your sleeping shorts.

When he is satisfied with his job he leans on the bed behind you and holds you into a tight embrace, he starts rubbing soothing circles over your tummy.

After a couple of moments of silence, you feel Marc’s smile on your neck while he nuzzles his head there.

“Better?” He asks you while leaving a soft kiss on your neck.

“Much Better”

Fic Masterlist

#marc spector #marc spector x reader #steven grant #jake lockley #moonknight #smutty smut smut #sorry not sorry I wrote this while I was desperate on my period lol #the Marc brainrot its hitting me hard

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writingquestionsanswered · 6 months

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Any advice for when anxiety make you think your writing is bad and not worth it? Or like it's annoying?

Anxiety Due to "Bad Writing" Fears

There are three things you can do:

1 - Read the following posts to transform your mindset by learning that bad writing is a necessary part of the process, we all start out at the bottom and work our way up, and that it's normal to be anxious about that.

Guide: Dealing with Self-Doubt & Impostor Syndrome Building Confidence in Your Writing Concentrate on Quantity at First, Not Quality Comparing Self to Others, Insecure About Writing Overcoming Embarrassment Over Own Writing

2 - Practice good self-care, especially before, during, and after writing to help ease anxiety. Figure out some mantras you can use before, during, and after, like: "I'm doing my best and it's okay if it's not as good as I want it to be. I'm getting better every day." Do things to make the writing process less stressful for yourself... try not to fixate on quality, give yourself encouragement and pep talks, don't compare yourself to others, give yourself grace when you know you're falling short, and try to do things to make your writing time more relaxing (comforting writing spot, soft music, scented room spray, etc.)

3 - Hone your craft by reading writing craft books/articles/blogs, watching writing craft videos, and listening to writing craft podcasts. Follow writers and authors on social media and keep an eye out for free online writing summits and workshops, which offer video talks about a variety of different writing topics. These are usually hosted by a writer who interviews guest writers to talk about an area of expertise, like how to write great characters or how to outline your novel. Sometimes the free videos are only available live or for 24-hours after broadcast, but the cost of admission is merely an e-mail address. Or, if you want to pay, you can get an all-access pass. The more you learn about writing, the better your writing will become, and the more confident you'll become in your writing, and that anxiety will start to ease. :)

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

LEARN MORE about WQA

SEE MY ask policies

VISIT MY Master List of Top Posts

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#writing tips #writing help #wqaadvice

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girlbloggen · 9 months

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school tips from a top student

hello angels ! i've always been a top student and this school year i'm going to be a senior so i think i've gained enough school experience to give y'all some tips in case you need them 𔘓ㅤ

★ procrastinating is your biggest enemy

this is pretty much self explanatory but I wanted to include it because it's the reason most people don't do well at school. every minute that you waste procrastinating ruins everything because you won't be able to study/do the assignments at all or they won't end up being good because of your stress. don't do this to yourself.

★ get enough sleep

a good student always gets at least 8+ hours of sleep every night & especially during the exam season. i disagree with some people that think that its ok to not study at all for the rest of the school year and to just pull all nighters during the exam season to study the things they missed. sleep is very important because if you don't sleep you simply can't concentrate so you should never skip sleeping.

★ don't be late

don't be late in the morning and don't skip classes randomly & without a reason. even if you don't get a detention the teachers won't respect you because you are the one not respecting them in the first place.

★ lying to your teacher = lying to yourself

now if you lie about the reason that you're late or the reason that you didn't do the assignments you're disrespecting your own self. also sometimes teachers don't react when a student lies to them but that doesn't mean that they don't understand it. stop thinking that you're an evil genius and that you're capable of manipulating the teachers into thinking that you're innocent. you're not, stop being delusional.

★ be two steps ahead, when it's possible

that's hard and of course it's not always possible but it's a good idea because that way you will be informed about the topic that you're going to learn so you'll be able to participate more actively in class & it will be easier for you to memorize the info.

★ look good to feel good

it's a fact that if you look neat & pretty you will be more motivated to do well in school because you'll be more confident, so take some time to pick a nice outfit, take a shower & even try a cute hairstyle.

★ but beauty shouldn't be your #1 priority rn

yes it's important to look & feel pretty but that's not the reason you're in school so it shouldn't distract you. I know girls that put too much effort in the way they look that they completely forget about their assignments.

★ discover how your brain works

if you already haven't, I suggest you to discover the way your brain memorizes faster info. some people have to write down things to learn them while others memorize easier things they hear. whatever it is it can help you to find a studying method that works for you.

★ find yourself a few productive distractions

distractions should be avoided in general but a boring schedule is bad for you too. to avoid a boring repetitive schedule find some productive things you can do other than studying for school. like practice some kind of sport or an art or learn foreign languages. keep in mind that ivy league schools appreciate people that are good students at school but at the same time they have more interests like sports or art. so bonus points if you want to get into an ivy league.

★ avoid drama at all costs

please, whatever you do, avoid drama. this is already a very stressful period of your life because you're a teenager & a student so stay away from things that can ruin your mental health and sabotage you. don't get into fights.

★ wrong (!!) time to party

I know that partying is fun but rn it's a wrong time of your life to party. partying can lead to procrastination & it can also ruin both your mental and your physical health. also most parties are full of drama and that can distract you. I know so many top students whose school performance went downhill when they magically transformed into party animals.

★ you simply don't care about other people

you shouldn't care about what your parents, your friends, your teachers, your school's mean girls etc think. you have goals to chase and that's what should concern you rn. other people don't exist to you. it's only you & your goals. be self-centered & goal-oriented. it sounds mean but it can save you.

★ treat yourself

you don't need others to congratulate you for your achievements. be the first one who does. every time you achieve something treat yourself by doing something you love. like buy a lipgloss, do your selfcare routine, eat your fav snack. you deserve it.

★ keep your standards high

don't let the society gaslight you into thinking that your standards are too high. I'm pretty sure that every person can achieve great things in their lifetime. even if you can't get something don't feel bad about it & be proud of yourself because at least you tried. don't be negative. there's a greater possibility to reach your goals if you give them a try. you can do it !

I really hope this was helpful ! If you need to ask me something my ask box & my dms are open <3

xoxo, a

#gaslight gatekeep girlboss #just girly posts #girlhood #just girly things #just girly thoughts #it girl #student #school tips #back to school #this is a girlblog #girlblogger #gaslight gatekeep girlblog #girlblogging

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thatsthewrongwallcraig · 2 months

Note

hi i came across your post asking people to talk to you about karl heisenberg so i decided to send in an ask because i absolutely cannot be normal about that man in any way shape or form at all he rotates in my brain 24/7 and refuses to get out

plplsplspls list down some of your hcs for him :33

You and me both, you and me both, don't worry 🤝🏻 I have him living rent free up there since I put my eyes on him and now he won't leave, instead he's wreaking havoc where perfectly normal and content thoughts should be 😭

Thank you so much for sending the ask! 🫶🏻

Karl Heisenberg HCs under the cut since their NSFW 🔞 (gender neutral)

I'll write a SFW Head Canon post later!

🛠 So, what's the first thing that comes to mind when looking at Kar Heisenberg, hm? Yes, exactly: "Damn, Daddy!" but as mighty fine as this is, how about we flip that table upside down and consider Karl with a mommy kink? There is something about the thought of consensually slapping that mountain of a man around and calling him a bad and naughty boy that makes my brain rot so fast 🥴 Depending on how complex of a topic this wants to be fleshed out as, one can always sprinkle some trauma into the mix because both mommy and daddy issues can very much stem from painfully real places and I imagine that Karl as quite a lot of that.

🛠 I like to believe that Karl has a surreal amount of patience, nerves of steel, but only when it comes to a few things in particular. One of them being you propped up in his lap with his cock buried inside you up to the shaft, neither of you making any hectic movements as you cock-warm him while he welds together scraps of metal in his workshop. He can do that for hours if he feels like it, enjoying the engulfing warmth of your body whilst sparks fly through the somewhat damp air of the factory, strangely enough helps him concentrate and be precise for neither sparks nor hot metal to get anywhere close to you.

🛠 Dad-Bod. That's it. Send Tweet. No, but really, I'm drop dead serious about it and will die with my face pressed to that squishy soft belly pooch and my hands clasping at his glorious man-tits. You know what Dad-Bod Karl Heisenberg gets you? So much cuddle-material 😌 And in instances during which you don't peacefully fall asleep wrapped in his arms, he muffles your moans and whines with his chest, just shoving your face into the soft and warm skin.

🛠 In my brain, Karl is a giver. Sure, he might take you whenever the mood strikes, that simply cones with the package, but never without giving equal quantities of affection back. If he'd be out for one-sided sex, he could just as well shove his cock into one of his brainless creations. Karl would make you feel wanted and desired with every opportunity he'd get because he knows how it feels to be left behind, an outcast, and he'd never want you to feel this way especially not around him, ever.

🛠 Intoxication kink, my friends 🙏🏻 Okay, listen, as aforementioned, Kar is a giver and somewhere deep deep down he carries the need to care and nurture. Sometimes it's get so overwhelmingly much that he just has to take matters into his own hands, okay? Fucking you up nicely under his supervision so that you don't go off the rails too hard.

🛠 I believe Karl to be somewhat possessive and very physical about you. Hos fingers are always lingering, sometimes at your waist, sometimes ghosting over the round of your ass and other times lovingly clasping around your throat. Same goes for his lips and teeth. One could say that Lord Heisenberg has a hefty oral fixation that can't be soothed by cigars alone. He'd suck and nibble at your fingers and nipples without hesitation.

🛠 Last but not least, you know how it goes: Save a horse... ��

#tam rambles #asks are appreciated #asks are always open #karl heisenberg #karl heisenberg fanfic #karl heisenberg x reader #Karl Heisenberg x you #resident evil village #resident evil 8 #resident evil fanfiction

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geeky-politics-46 · 1 year

Text

Man On A Mission - Part 2

Smut - Explicit content - NSFW - 18+ only!

Pairing: Stephen Strange x Reader

Summary: Stephen is over the moon with your pregnancy and how your body has changed. Now, he is determined he wants to keep you this way.

Warnings: Smut (NSFW) - 18+ ONLY - heavy breeding kink, vaginal sex, pregnancy sex, unprotected sex, dirty talk, pet names, language, very romantic cheesy mushy Strange, inappropriate use of the names mommy & daddy.

After that day, when you discovered you were pregnant, it was hard for Stephen to keep his mind on anything else. You were pregnant with his baby. He was having a baby with you. You were his, and he had put that baby in you. How could he possibly concentrate on anything but that?!

He was borderline obsessed with it. In more ways than one. All his life, he had sworn up and down that he didn't want kids, but now that the reality of it was in front him he was loving every single second of it. He wasn't even really a dad yet, and he was determined to be the best dad he could be.

He had already read nearly every book on the topic. He had timers set to remind you to take your prenatal vitamins. He tried to be there for you with every bout of morning sickness. He had the Sanctum stocked with anything he thought you might start craving. If Cloak wasn't around his shoulders, he had charged it with following you around. Just in case. He even already made you start packing your hospital go bag.

He also couldn't keep his hands off of you. Especially once you started to show. He couldn't get enough of your perfect baby bump. The way your skin glowed and the sight of your swelling belly set his blood on fire. He wanted to show you off and keep you locked in the bedroom with him at the same time. You just looked so perfect all full.

It wasn't his fault that you just happened to look even more perfect when you were naked and riding him. Your breasts bouncing and your little baby belly right where he could rub it with one hand and your clit with the other. That you had become so sensitive to his touch. That you had become such a needy little thing. No doubt both because of your pregnancy hormones.

Okay, maybe it was his fault. At least partly anyway. God, was he loving it, though. Every chance he got, he had you. Whether it was in your shared bed, his study, the kitchen, the library, and even one particularly risky time in the foyer on the grand staircase when he had you ride him.

That may actually have been his favorite. Anyone who walked in the front door would have caught you. That was kind of what he loved about your now visible belly. Everyone who saw you knew exactly how you got that way, and he made sure everyone knew exactly who knocked you up.

That was his favorite thing of all. That all it took once you started to show was one glance, and it was clear you were his. His pretty little baby mama. His to take care of and love. His to fuck and worship, and that was all he wanted to do.

So it should have been no surprise when he pulled you away from Stark's party. Not having the patience to wait for the night to come to an end. Even the other Avengers noticed how touchy feely he was with you. It just made him want to touch you more.

He opened a portal back to the Sanctum and quickly drug you through behind him. You had one hand on your belly, laughing as you tried your best to keep up with him. Your stomach and your heels were both working against you.

"Stephen, slow down! You know I can't move that fast anymore. Little thing in the way, thanks to you."

He stopped in his tracks and turned capturing you in a fierce kiss. Grabbing your belly in one of his large, scarred hands and wrapping the other around the back of your neck. Finally, he let his mouth separate from yours once he could tell you were out of breath.

"Sweetheart, are you trying to get me even more wound up? Might not even make it to the bedroom if you keep that up."

You let your hands loop around his neck. Smiling up at him seductively and shaking your head at him.

"So that is why you stole me from the party? Away from all of our friends? Just so you could get me back to our bedroom. I think sometimes you want to keep me all to yourself."

He slowly took your hand in his and carefully started leading you to your bedroom again. This time at a much more reasonable pace. Although he had considered just picking you up and carrying you instead.

"I can't help it. You just look so sexy all pregnant."

He opened the door to your bedroom. Allowing you to walk in before him. He let you go over to the bed and start to take off your heels as he turned to make sure he locked the door behind him. He wouldn't have anyone interrupting his time with you.

After he was finished, he took off his suit jacket, revealing how immaculate he looked underneath. Long lean muscles visible through the back of his white dress shirt as he quickly lit the fireplace before coming to join you on the bed. Undoing his tie and dropping it onto his nightstand, just in case he might need it later.

Climbing on his knees and positioning himself behind you. Placing kisses on the back and sides of your neck as he began to massage your shoulders. He knew that as your belly and breasts had grown your back and shoulders had taken the brunt of the weight, often leaving you stiff and sore. Stephen's massages had definitely become one of your favorite things. He knew they turned you to putty. Especially when he used his magic to warm your skin and soothe your muscles.

He couldn't hold back the devious smile that crossed his lips when he found a knot that illected a soft moan from you once he started working on it. It meant he knew he had you right where he wanted you. So he started placing more kisses up and down your neck to your shoulder as he rubbed. Nuzzling his nose into the crook of your neck and gently knocking your shoulder straps down as he went. Purring against your warm flesh.

He slowly let his hands start to drift down your shoulders and upper arms so his fingertips could tease at your breasts. Even just the slightest bit of attention making your nipples start to peak. When you didn't say anything to steer him back towards the massage he was half tempted to just start pawing at your breasts like a happy cat making bread. They had gotten so plush and full recently.

Instead he let his hands drift to hold your belly. Wrapping his arms around you and giving up all pretense of a massage. Not that you didn't know the game he was playing at the whole time anyway. Truth be told, you loved how obsessed Stephen was over your pregnant form.

"You know I always knew you were the most beautiful woman in the world, but like this I think you are officially the most beautiful woman in the multiverse. God, is it bad I can't wait to get you pregnant again?"

You couldn't help but laugh as you leant back into his arms. Dropping your head back onto his shoulder and reaching back to play with his hair. Finally getting to kiss his beautiful lips. You let yourself linger in between them, nuzzling and holding each other.

"Considering I haven't even finished cooking this baby yet, I think you are gonna have to wait, Stephen. Certainly no harm in us continuing practicing though."

He moved just enough so he could gingerly lower you to lay flat on the bed. A growl forming low in his chest as he protectively rubbed your belly with one hand while using his other arm to cage you underneath him.

"Mmm. Yes. Lots and lots of practicing. We should spend every free moment we can get practicing. I'm sure this little one will keep us plenty busy once he or she arrives."

You placed your hands over his on your belly and smiled as his lips descended back onto yours. This time with a moment of softness before it became passionate. A promise for the future before returning to the present moment. Letting your fingers drift up his arms and start undoing the buttons on his crisp white shirt.

He grudgingly let you pull your lips away from his so you could watch the pale skin of his chest come into view. In turn he got to see the dark clouds of lust take over your vision. He got to see the sweetest mama to-be give way to his little sexy minx. He got to see how you bit your bottom lip when you eased his shirt off of his shoulders.

You let your lips move to suck at the warm skin of his neck. Leaving an extra lick at his Adam's apple while he worked to shrug off the dress shirt he had no more use for. As soon as he threw it to the side he attacked your lips again. Trying to distract you from the feel of tendrils of his magic working to undo your dress.

The zipper down the back slowly sliding down on it's own. Well not really, but close enough. You sighed feeling the tight fabric loosen around your body. Finally feeling like you could breathe properly, not quite used to how your swollen belly and breasts were now constricted by so much of your clothing.

Stephen's eyes devouring every inch of your body as he began to unwrap you like a present. Slowly dragging the side of his index finger up your arm before gently hooking it under one of your shoulder straps.

Smirking to himself as he slid it farther down your upper arm. Stopping just before revealing your nipple and repeating the same action on the other side. Leaning down to start peppering kisses across the tops of your breasts before moving to nuzzle his face between them. The tickle of his goatee makes you laugh and your arms jump to wrap around his shoulders.

He kept placing kisses on your chest and rubbing his face against you, enjoying your reaction, as he slowly moved his hands down your sides to gather up the bottom of your dress. That way he could pull it off of you in one swift easy movement.

Lifting his head up just enough to allow you to lift up as he guided the fabric up and over your head. You had recently figured out getting dressed was much easier going up and over than if you tried to get past your belly from the bottom up. You relaxed onto the bed, closing your eyes and stretching your body now that it was free of its confinement. Your hands coming to rub your belly by sheer instinct. Only reopening your eyes when you heard the soft thud of your dress hitting the floor and the bed shifting as Stephen stood up.

You were treated to the beautiful sight of your lover standing in front of you slowly undoing his belt and his dress pants. His eyes never leaving your form splayed out on the bed for him. You couldn't refrain from pulling one hand up to trace over your lips when he stopped to rub at his erection through the expensive fabric. Biting your index finger between your teeth when he squeezed his length and thrust his hips forward with a growl.

You could feel your cheeks blush and your skin prickle up in goosebumps. Your nipples hardening in response too. Making you pull your other arm up to cover your breasts. Stephen shaking his head and laughing in response to your sudden shyness as he shoved his pants and underwear to the ground before pouncing on you again. Pulling your arms away from your body and pining them to the bed over your head as he slotted his weight between your legs, which you happily wrapped around his hips.

"Uh uh, mama. You don't get to be all shy and hide from me now. You know that *this* is all your doing. I also know that you know exactly how to take care of it."

He accented the word with a thrust and roll of his hips forward. Pressing his hard cock against your still hidden cunt. Making sure you felt exactly what you did to him as he teased at your sex. Letting you grind yourself against him in return as a needy little whine fell from your lips. Wanting Stephen just as badly as he wanted you now.

"There's my needy girl. I knew she was in there just waiting to come out. Just had to get you nice and relaxed. I can feel how wet you are through your panties baby, I've been wanting to feel you all night. I love you so much sweetheart."

"Well Doctor Strange, why don't you finish getting me naked. Then you can feel me all you want. Every single inch is all yours."

He smiled against your lips and pulled his hands to cup your face. Slowly starting to trail down your body and leaving kisses on any bits of your neck and chest that didn't have his fingertips grazing them. Nuzzling at your breasts and lightly licking and sucking at each nipple. He hadn't told you yet how much the thought of you breastfeeding turned him on too.

You whined when he stopped at your pregnant belly. Kissing and nuzzling it over and over. Whispering soft little 'I love yous' into your skin. Unsure whether he was speaking to you or the life inside you that you two had created together.

"Stephen, please… need you."

You were starting to lose your patience with all the prolonged foreplay. You loved how he made you feel so special, but you needed him inside you now. Your hormones made you terribly impatient.

"Alright little one, you know we love you, but I'm gonna need you to not pay attention to what's about to happen. Daddy needs to take care of Mommy, and I am always gonna make time to make her feel good."

You rolled your eyes at his teasing. He loved talking to your baby. It started late one night when he thought you were asleep. At first he just said the little things everyone else said. That he was it's dad. That you were it's mom. Then slowly he started sharing more.

How he was gonna try so hard to be a good dad, but that he was definitely gonna mess some stuff up. Things about the mystic arts and how he was looking for baby proofing spells. Stories of the Avengers and whatever 'Uncle Wong' did that day to give him shit. Even random medical stuff he had just read or just random thoughts that he had.

Good thing the baby wouldn't remember everything it overheard. Mommy and Daddy would have a lot to explain otherwise.

"Stephen, come on. You were so anxious to get me home and fuck me. I'm so wet Doctor. I need you to help me."

He growled as he looked up at you. You knew how calling him Doctor was one of his biggest weaknesses. You could see his body language shift immediately. He latched his thumbs under the band of your panties and started pulling them down slowly.

"Well I was gonna take my time and lick that pretty pussy for a while, but since mommy is getting impatient I guess we can rearrange my plan. Tell me what you want baby? Tell Daddy how you want him to play with you."

You had to think about your response. In honesty, you wanted everything. Greedy was also on the list of emotions that your hormones triggered. Stephen could always wake you up with his mouth later. It wouldn't be the first time, and right now you wanted him inside you more than anything else.

"Want daddy's cock. Make mommy cum on daddy's big hard cock. Then fill mommy up with your cum. Practice for when daddy can knock me up again. Daddy can always wake mommy up with his tongue in the morning if he wants another round."

You had barely gotten the last of your words put when he cut you off. Crawling back on the bed between your legs and reaching past you to grab one of the pillows from the head of the bed.

"- and I guarantee you I will. Now we're finishing with you on top, but I wanna fuck you like this first. Lift your hips mama."

You did as he asked and lifted your hips up so he could slot a pillow under your hips and low back for support. You smiled lovingly at your husband reaching to tap your index finger to his lips before gently teasing him again as he checked to make sure you were now safely situated.

"Don't be writing checks that your tongue can't cash, Dear Doctor."

He lowered himself to his forearms, pressing an all in encompassing kiss to you lips as he reached down to position his tip against your opening. Stilling and just relishing in the feeling of your warm wet hole ready to welcome him. Only starting to slowly press his hips forward when saw your eyes close and he heard you whimper in need. The feeling of his cock slowly impaling you finally granting you relief.

As you felt him reach your inner depths, fully sheathing his cock inside you, you opened your eyes and saw his mischievous smile beaming down at you. He was a man truly in love.

"Unless I am mistaken, my tongue has never failed you yet and I don't plan on letting it happen anytime soon. If mama isn't happy, no one is happy."

He let his hips slowly start to roll and thrust into you. Setting a slow easy rhythm as you he continued to kiss you. Letting one of his beautiful scarred hands come to brush at your cheek before letting it fall to play with your breasts again. Just enjoying all the pretty little noises you were making and fine tuning his movements until your voice hit just the right pitch. The beautiful sound of your voice as he brought you closer to climax.

"Oh God Stephen, yes. Right there. Fuck my pussy baby. You feel so good daddy."

You wrapped your legs as far around him as you could manage. The sound of your slick becoming more apparent in your new position with your hips positioned wider. It only made Stephen more determined to make you cum.

"Yeah? My fat cock feel good mama? Know you love it, that's how this happened, and fuck I'm gonna keep you stuffed full with cum or a baby every chance you give me. You were made for me to breed, weren't you pretty baby?"

His hips started snapping into you twice as hard as he said the word breed. Sweat starting to bead up on his brow. One down side to pregnancy sex was that after a certain amount of growing doing much moving was difficult if you were on the bottom. Plus your partner started to have a hard time mounting you in missionary and not rolling off.

If you wanted to get any really speed and/or force it had to be with you on top or with Stephen behind. Spooning sex had become a favorite for mornings, but at night Stephen loved having you on top of him. Especially after he got you all warmed up. He knew you were getting close when he felt your nails scraping down his hack.

He waited for you to respond to his dirty praises, you both got off on it and he didn't dare disrupt the flow. Watching you bite your bottom lip and making particular note of how your tits were so full now they practically jiggled all the way up to your chin.

"Made to take your cock daddy. Made to take your cum. Your cumslut to breed whenever you want. Always feels so good when you fill me up Stephen. Fuck, you know I can cum just from feeling you cum inside me. Always want you to cum in my pussy daddy."

At that he started rolling the two of you over, making sure to keep his cock inside you as he did. It wasn't as easy as it was before you were pregnant, but he had his favorite moves with you down to a science. Making sure to hold onto you as he rolled. He wasn't expecting you to get your own little mischievous smile as you situated yourself on top of him.

You grabbed the pillow that had been under your hips and leaned forward to place it under Stephen's head, giving him an even better view of where you sat perched on him. He loved when you did things like that. Little gestures, things you didn't have to do for him but wanted to. Just because.

"Aren't I supposed to be the one taking care of you?"

His hands had wandered up to cup your breasts, kneading them gently in his palms. His fingers drawing little shapes and dancing over your nipples. You happily tilted your head down as his fingertips reached up and placed soft kisses on each before letting them go back to work on you.

"Well I want to take care of you a little too. I love you Stephen."

You brushed the dark hair back from his forehead and stroked his cheek as he turned and whispered, "I love you too," into your palm. Your smile turned from sweet to devious as you drug your hand back down his chest and reached both hands back to brace yourself on his thighs. Slowly starting to let your hips rock forwards and back.

Gradually building up momentum so you could start to bounce on his cock, letting Stephen just lay there for now. You knew you wouldn't have the energy to do all the work for long. You did miss your pre-pregnancy stamina.

As you started to really lift your weight up and down Stephen's shaft, he couldn't decide whether he wanted to let his eyes close or not. You felt so good wrapped around him. So warm and wet and perfect. The feeling of your nails gripping into his thighs was icing on the cake. He just didn't want to miss seeing you like this for even a moment.

"Fuck, you are incredible sweetheart. Already so pregnant with my baby and you're still taking my cock so good. Love it when you ride me."

He could feel you squeeze his cock just a little tighter. A moan falling from his lips at the sensation.

"I'm close, baby. Fuck me harder now, please."

Stephen promptly grabbed onto your hips and adjusted so his knees were bent and his feet were flat on the bed. You let your weight fall forward and held yourself up on your hands with his first thrust up into you. He immediately matched the pace you had set and increased the force.

He held back from really pounding into you. That was the one part of your pregnancy he wasn't crazy about, but he was a doctor and a worrier, so he wanted to be safe. Even with being careful, he was able to easily find the perfect rhythm to have you on edge without fail. His photographic memory was good for things other than just reading.

When he felt your cunt starting to throb he could tell his own climax wasn't far behind. He finally let his eyes close so he could really pay attention to your sounds. The little whimpers you made driving him crazy. They only got higher when he let his fingers really dig into your now fuller hips.

"Oh God, don't stop, Stephen. Yes, yes, yes, yes! Gonna make me cum."

Something between a smile and a snarl forming on his lips as he tried to hold himself back just long enough for you to cum first. He lost all sense of composure as you fell apart for him. Feeling your perfect cunt squeeze the life out of him. Hearing your squeals and whines. Knowing that he made you feel so good. He let himself follow you down into climax.

"That's it mama. Cum on my cock baby. Milk my cock honey. The only place I ever want to cum again. Oh fuck you make me cum so hard. Filling you up so much"

You hummed in satisfaction as he fucked you through his own orgasm. Flooding your pussy with copious amounts of his warm thick cum. Your hips wiggling on top of him as you savored the feel of being completely filled up by him. Neither of you in any rush to separate from one another or clean up your shared mess.

Instead, Stephen was happy to just roll over so you both settled on your sides. Your top leg over his hip holding him close, and your pregnant belly pressed between you. One of his hands coming up to softly stroke your baby bump as you both caught your breath.

"Seriously, sweetheart, thank you for having my babies. I promise you and them that I will spend my life taking care of you and keeping all of you happy. I am also always going to be obsessed with you like this. So you better get used to leaving parties early. We have far too many empty rooms in the Sanctum to fill."

--------------------------------

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otipe · 3 months

Text

Al-Haitham x Deaf Fem!Reader

University AU

[Part 1] [Part 2]

[Silence could be overcomed by gentle gestures and shy gazes; but only the strong one go beyond for a voice that has been lost to reach the ears of their beloved.]

— x — x — x — x — x — x — x — x —

You fall in love with Al-Haitham throughout the winter season.

The great growth of love and timidness when having him around increased the more you two spend time together—and the moment where you realized that what you felt for him went deeper than simple friendship was unknown, but it didn't lessen the impact upon the fact that it was real.

The revelation from such an affair surprises you once you go past the confusion and denial from falling in love with a man who keeps his heart locked away and under a mask of nonchalant. The fleeting thought that you were just confused was viable, since you’ve never felt this way prior, and so you tried to convince yourself to drop the subject and to not think about your friend that way anymore.

But when the little veil of deception that you placed upon yourself vanishes, slapping you across the face that yes, you were in love, it takes no time for the butterflies to swarm in your belly whenever you look his way or his name is mentioned through conversations.

To notice the sudden race of your heart when you are alone, when he helps you when you’re unable to focus, to the way he cares for your well-being in subtle yet obvious acts of kindness; all of it was the beginning of your doom.

Because despite forging a friendship throughout the times at the university, in light of recent news of your newfound love, your actions are led with shyness instead of confidence. Your demeanor changes when he is in the vicinity, and you can’t help the assaults your heart does when he looks at you so intensely or simply focuses on your being.

And that places you here in the library.

Al-Haitham is keeping himself busy with his books and Kaveh…

Kaveh acts like he’s none the wiser when you need him as a backup when interacting with Al-Haitham; ignoring your pleading gazes, fixing his shirt when you tug on the fabric, and even biting back a grimace when you squeeze his arm to catch his attention.

But everytime the bastard simply looks the other way with a pout, pretending that you both don't exist at the moment, and focuses on his papers instead of lending a helping hand.

A little nudge on your shoulder has your attention drifting towards Al-haitham, who raises a brow in questioning.

“What is it?” you sign, fingers trembling slightly.

“What do you need from him?” he asks. His hand movements are choppy and a bit aggressive, “I can help you.”

Your cheeks warm with embarrassment, fearful that he's witnessed your childish nagging at Kaveh. Shaking your head, you tap the notebook.

“Tomorrow we have a test. I want to make sure he's ready, that's all.”

“Are you sure?”

You give him a thumbs up, smiling, “I'll be okay! I've been tutored by the best student on campus, so I have nothing to fear!”

Al-Haitham seems satisfied with your reply, the shadow of a smile hovers over his lips before he schools his face back to his usual stoic expression and goes back to his book. His eyes skim through the paragraphs and quickly jolts things down he deems important in his own notebook.

You eye the stack of books he has next to him, two of them open and tossed to the side and the one he currently holds, keeping all his attention.

Idly, you think literature looks difficult; boring, even.

Reading books is not of your preference, unless romance and tragedy are the main topic, your interest regarding lectures are non-existent so you are easily amazed by his focus and full concentration on what he reads whatever the topic might be.

A vibration catches your attention, watching a notification pop-up in your phone that lays next to you on the table. Picking it up, Kaveh's name shows on the screen with an incomplete message that has you blushing on the spot.

Gingerly, you open the chat.

× Kaveh: You look like a creep staring at him ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ

× Me: I'm not staring!

× Kaveh: Yeah, sure- Even the librarian has noticed the hearts around you whenever he signs to you.

× Me: Shut up ;_;

Covering half of your face you glare at Kaveh, pouting at his teasing. He only gets to shrug and mouth an apology that’s not genuine with the smirk plastered across his face.

× Kaveh: :P

× Me: You are so mean for no reason :(

× Kaveh: I'm only stating facts. If you want it a secret, then KEEP it like a secret.

× Me: Stop paying attention to what I do! I know how to keep a secret!

× Kaveh: Yeah? Your eyes don't! ╰⁠(⁠ ⁠･⁠ ⁠ᗜ⁠ ⁠･⁠ ⁠)⁠➝

Kaveh is insufferable when he teases, pulling you out of your tasks and bothering you until you give out and have to physically make him shut up.

Since he is in close vicinity, you slap his arm lightly, signing furiously for him to stop annoying you so much and to pay attention to his homework and study.

His eyes roam your hands, trying to piece together what you say but unable to tie the words and hand signs to coherent sentences. Is clear from his confused expression he hasn't gotten half of what you said, and now he wears an apologetic smile that tells you everything.

“She said to stop fooling around, and keep your head in your studies, dunce.” Al-Haitham closes his book, clearly annoyed. “Don't bother her too much, Kaveh. She's got enough on her plate.”

Kaveh gasps, offended, “I'm not bothering her, am I?”

“Lower your voice,” he reprimands, “You are being annoying.”

They go back and forth for a while, and you cannot help but look bewildered between the two of them, confused and intrigued by whatever they're talking about.

Their mouths move too fast for you to interpret words into sentences, too fired up in their conversation—or argument, this looks like an argument—that they don't notice your curious stare.

Al-Haitham seems to mull over a thought, pondering whether to say what's on his mind or not. It seems to take a toll on him, sighing tiredly and briefly looking in your direction.

“She's clearly trying to study, and as her partner, shouldn't you try and help her out instead of fooling around?”

Kaveh raises a brow, confused at his choice of words.

“I’m a very good partner!” Is what he says a little too loudly. The librarian shushes him from across the room, glaring at their table and scowling, a finger on her lips. Kaveh bows his head in apology before continuing in a lower voice, “And I'm very helpful when I want to, thank you very much. You can even ask her, I’m a sweetheart.”

Kaveh notices the shift in attitude from Al-Haitham for a brief second, enough to surprise him when his scowls deepens and avoids eye contact to focus on the books on the table. He’s almost tempted to ask if his actions were what got to his nerves, but with the way he moves, uncomfortable and wary, he decides against it.

It becomes obvious something is going on when he starts packing his things without saying a word, closing the books and stashing them on his backpack slowly but with force behind every action.

A little taken aback by his sudden urge to leave the library, you stand up from your chair and begin closing your notebooks alongside him in a hurry.

None of them say anything while watching you pack up, eyes concentrated and precise actions to have your things in order. Kaveh purses his lips in contemplation and eyes Haitham stop dead on his tracks, regret flashing for a brief second on his face, but he doesn’t miss the fondness swimming in his green orbs.

“You don’t have to leave.” His expression softens ever so slightly, and he reaches for your wrist to catch your attention, “Stay.” He mouths slowly.

“Why?”

His eyes divert from you to Kaveh who looks at him with concern filled in his eyes, and he can’t help but sigh, scratching the back of his neck and unable to reason clearly. Taking his hand in yours, you tug slightly, getting his attention back to you.

“Don’t you want us here?” You ask.

“I have to leave,” he signs, “I forgot I have a study session today.”

Shaking your head, you tap your wrist, “There’s still two hours away from your meeting time.” Al-Haitham doesn’t flinch when your expression sours, “Why are you lying to me?”

“I'm not lying, the session time has moved.”

Liar. And the fact he's doing so right to your face with no shame is worrisome for he's never had a reason to.

Al-Haitham continues packing his things in silence under your scrutinized gaze. When you realize he won't say anything else to you nor Kaveh, you take a seat and watch him leave with a quick goodbye.

You are left staring at the closing doors of the library and with an emptiness at the pit of your stomach. Slowly crawling your insides, anxiety takes over your thoughts in quick succession about his actions and lack of communication with you two.

Was he upset over something? Did Kaveh say something? Did Al-Haitham say something? Are you at fault here?

You type in your phone before you can think further.

× Me: Did you two argue?

× Kaveh: No! He was scolding me for distracting you when it was the other way around >_> You get way too desperate when he talks to you.

You glare at him from the corner of your eyes, ignoring his last sentence.

× Me: But why did he leave?

× Kaveh: I don't know, maybe he just got upset over me being too loud? I'll talk to him later when he comes home, don't mind him. He always acts like a drama queen.

× Me: Are you sure?

Kaveh mulls over your question quietly.

Al-Haitham is one to never hold a grudge when they argue, but rather take his time to calm down before sitting down and talk like civilized people. And Kaveh would have assumed this was the case if it weren't for the uncommon timing to his reactions, which raises the question: What made him this upset?

× Kaveh: I'll talk to him later, don't worry :)

× Me: Okay, let me know if you both need anything! I don't like it when you two fight :(

Kaveh clutches the phone close to his heart and squeals loudly, fighting against his instincts to smother you in a big hug for how kind you were to him despite the clear favoritism you had for the one you crushed on.

From afar, you see the librarian standing from her seat, angry lines forming on her expression and marching towards you two with a determination that scares you deeply, freezing you on the spot.

You can't even warn your friend before she reaches him first.

“Kaveh, that's enough! Out of the library until you learn how to keep quiet!”

“What?!”

“Banned for a week! Out with you!”

— x — x — x — x — x — x — x — x — x — x — x —

Kaveh's expression at having the door of the library close shut on his face shouldn't be this amusing; but here you are, laughing with all your might and holding onto the wall for support because you can't hold back anymore after the last tense couple of minutes.

He's saying something, probably angry words at the ban and you for making fun of him, but you could care less with how much your stomach was hurting from the laughing.

“Stop!” he whines, tugging your sleeves with a pout on his face. “This is not funny!”

Cleaning the tears gathering at the corner of your eyes, you apologize between giggles, fingertips down the bridge of your nose and an open palm running a straight line down your chest.

“You are mean,” he mouths slowly, pulling you alongside him onto the halls of the university to walk away.

“Sorry,” you sign again, not genuine enough for him to believe you. “I think we both need a break. How about we go for dessert?”

Kaveh blinks down confused, “I understood the break, the last thing I didn’t get.”

“D. E. S. S. E. R. T,” you spell each letter slowly. He nods in understanding.

“Oh, yes!” He perks up excitedly, “Oh, oh! We can go to that coffee shop you were talking about yesterday. The one a few blocks away, yeah?”

Happy at the prospect of some sweet dessert and a relaxing afternoon, Kaveh walks with new vigor and a goal in mind with you in tow, forgetting completely about his public humiliation and entertained like a little kid with a treat.

He holds your hand, smiling brightly back at you, and you return the grin with the same feeling of content filling your chest.

But even when you've settled down at the coffee shop; drinking milkshakes and eating cheesecakes between laughs and messaging each other, at the back of your head was the lie of Al-Haitham still present and bothering.

And perhaps it was selfish of you to have him roaming your mind when Kaveh is trying to lift your spirits and cheer you up to the best of his abilities, when it should be the other way round.

And he notices. When he looks you from the corner of his eyes and his fingers hovers above the keyboard from his phone, you cannot help the embarrassed blush and hesitation whether to bring up the topic or not.

× Kaveh: Okay, I can't do this anymore. Spill.

× Me: …

× Me: What do you mean?

× Kaveh: >_> Don't play dumb.

× Me: (⁠｡⁠•́⁠︿⁠•̀⁠｡⁠)

× Kaveh: That's adorable, I'm stealing it.

× Kaveh: Okay, girl, spill now or else.

× Me: Is just… I'm worried. Al-Haitham was acting very strange, and I believe we're missing something crucial that caused his distress.

× Kaveh: I think you're overthinking way too much, dear. Perhaps it might be your love for him talking.

The punch you throw at him doesn't hurt, he knows that, and yet, he feigns dramatically that you've broken all the bones on his arm.

× Me: You're so annoying!!! Stop!!

× Kaveh: :P

× Me: I just want to make sure we're okay. I don’t know why he lied :(

× Kaveh: How about this; I'll talk to him later today and let you know how it goes. If he is upset or anything, I can solve the problem easily.

You nod, extending your arm on top of the table to reach for his hand. Kaveh doesn't take long to grab your hand and smile soothingly.

“Everything will be okay,” he says slowly. “Now that I think about it…”

You don't catch the last thing he says, watching him go back to his phone and type quickly with a determined expression.

× Kaveh: Okay so I've been thinking…

× Me: Rare occasion.

× Kaveh: Shut up! Look, I've been thinking that it would be a good idea for you to ask Al-Haitham on a date.

× Me: Huh? No?

× Kaveh: You should try asking him before he goes back to Sumeru on the spring break.

× Kaveh: I've heard he's reuniting with some old friend of his and, you know how it goes, maybe a childhood love might bloom.

× Me: :((((((

× Kaveh: Okay, sorry, maybe not that. But I do think you should try to ask him out, if only to give yourself a chance.

× Me: I don't want to ruin things between us. I like our friendship, and would love to keep it instead of jeopardizing it.

× Kaveh: That's such a big word for you!

× Me: Kaveeeehhhhhhh :((((((

× Kaveh: Okay! Sorry! But think about it if you can. I'd love for my friends to date each other :( And I believe he won't say no. No one would be able to resist such a cutie like you (⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)⁠♥

Oh, this man.

Whilst it is a wistful wish to date the one you fell in love with, his feelings on the matter is what makes you hesitate. This is not the first time you've thought about it, and won't be the last until you gather the courage to confess.

And Al-Haitham won't hate you if you say what you really feel, nor will he stop being your friend; but the lingering feeling of rejection will always be present and mocking you whenever you see him.

Archons know how long it will take for you to heal from the whole ordeal if he really says no.

× Me: I'll think about it (⁠・⁠∀⁠・⁠)

× Kaveh: I'm going to pretend to believe you. BUT just know if he breaks your heart, I'll kick his ass into the stratosphere (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧ And that's a threat.

You giggle behind your hand, eyes filled with mirth and joy from his encouragement. Kaveh feels like he has accomplished something good today if your happiness is anything to go by.

× Kaveh: Let's go home, it's getting a little late. I'll walk you back to the dorms (⁠づ⁠￣⁠ ⁠³⁠￣⁠)⁠づ

True to his words, he keeps you company the way back with both your hands clasped together the entire time. He would sometimes twirl you around to get you to laugh, sometimes would lay his arm around your shoulders to squeeze you affectionately when crossing the road; Kaveh keeps his touch present and as a supporting weight when you reach the building and kiss his cheek goodnight.

He waves back at you before you close the door, leaving him alone with his own worries and thoughts swirling in his mind.

The trek back home wasn't far, and it gave him plenty of time to think about his course of action before sitting down with Al-Haitham and talk about whatever happened earlier that day.

And if both are in the mood to keep the conversation going, he will try and prod information from him about his thoughts about you.

Perhaps he can be the cupid between you two?

‘I just want her to be happy,’ is what he thinks, sighing tiredly.

Anything for you.

— x — x — x — x — x — x — x — x — x — x — x —

Kaveh calls you a few days later.

The vibration from your phone isn't enough to wake you up, sleeping right past it until midday when you realize you've slept way too long and have wasted precious hours of the day.

It takes a while for you to read your notifications and bark a laugh at Kaveh's multiple apologies for calling you when he knows you cannot hear.

It doesn't offend you in the slightest, rather you find it hilarious because his enthusiasm knows no bonds to have forgotten something so obvious.

× Me: Miraculously I can hear again! What is it? Let me hear your voice!

It doesn't take long to see him online and typing already. You can even imagine the worried frown between his eyebrows and his pout in nervousness before he sends a message.

× Kaveh: In my defense!!!!!!!! Nothing…

× Kaveh: I'm dumb, I'm sorry.

× Me: It was a silly mistake. If anything, I find it rather amusing.

× Kaveh: This is not for you to be making fun of me!

× Me: Why not? I think it's hilarious.

× Kaveh: ༼⁠;⁠´⁠༎ຶ⁠ ⁠۝ ⁠༎ຶ⁠༽

× Me: What the fuck is that.

× Kaveh: Oh so now is not funny anymore HUH

× Me: Kaveh that’s the most disgusting kaomoji you’ve ever sent. I’m sending you to prison.

× Kaveh: You're just jealous you'll never be him.

× Me: THANK GOD

× Kaveh: Ksdksngkdf ANYWAY!! Listen, I talked to Al-Haitham and we're good. He was annoyed I was being too loud and rather leave than start an argument with so many people around.

× Kaveh: You know how he is, a calm person and all. He's okay, I'm okay, and no, he's not mad at you.

× Kaveh: Sooooo, want to come and grab dinner later? We can order take-out and maaaaaybeeeee, just maaaaaybe help me study for my next test (⁠๑⁠´⁠•⁠.̫⁠ ⁠•⁠ ⁠`⁠๑⁠)

Tempting, you think.

It's almost time for lunch, and you’ve spent most of your day sleeping away rather than being productive with the short time you have between classes, studies and exams. If you were to finish your duties before five and take a shower around six, you might be able to get there by seven or around that time to have dinner with them.

Make lunch, clean the bathroom, wash your clothes and hang them to dry, clean your room a little bit. Humming to yourself, you think you might be able to make it on time and spend the night at their apartment without a hitch.

× Me: Okay, I see no problems :) I'll be there by 7. Is it okay if I crash to sleep there?

× Kaveh: OH MY GOD YOU ARE AN ANGEL, AND YES OFC!! We can have a slumber party after studying. I literally cannot study alone because I get easily distracted and Al-Haitham doesn't want to help me (⁠ ⁠；⁠∀⁠；⁠)

× Me: Kaveh… you never want to listen to him.

× Kaveh: That's because he's boring! That man isn't build for teaching ಠ⁠∀⁠ಠ

× Me: Try to keep yourself alive by the time I come, okay? Study as best as you can and I'll help out with the rest.

× Kaveh: You're a real lifesaver! Let me know when you are on your way and send your location to keep track of you, alright?

× Me: Okay! Don’t forget to eat lunch :)

And that's how you have your day booked.

To know both Kaveh and Al-Haitham were okay with each other was enough to feel relief wash throughout your entire system, as if a weight has been lifted off your shoulders and now you can easily breath without guilt nagging you. Despite the question mark as to why he opted to lie back then, you were happy to overlook it and focus on the good outcome.

Your day goes by with you running this way to the other to get things done and ready before you leave. There is the lingering thought of your conversation with Kaveh from a few days ago while you finish your tasks, entertaining the idea and even considering it with how joyful you were feeling.

You only hope that motivation stays until you arrive at their home.

Once on the streets, with your bag full of books and a change of clothes, you let Kaveh know you are on your way but don't receive an immediate reply.

Not even when you reach the apartment complex, greet the receptionist and take the elevator, there is no sign of your friend and you wonder if something bad has happened for him to ignore you completely.

You decide to message Al-Haitham instead, despite the butterflies roaming your entire being and warmness spreading on your cheeks.

× Me: Hey, is Kaveh okay? I sent him a message before coming but he hasn't answered yet :(

It doesn’t take long for him to reply.

× Al-Haitham: Hey, door is open.

The reply is ominous without the intention to be.

You open the door bracing for the worst.

The books scattered on his dinner table should have been enough to disperse any doubt of a catastrophe. Mouth slightly agape and surprised to see the desperation on Kaveh's face when he realizes you’ve arrived, and sure enough, the calamity seems to be himself with how exhausted he looks.

“Help,” he signs, and you can't help but laugh after a long pause. From all the words you've taught him, that one stuck to him like a life liner.

Nodding, you clean up the table and stack the books to the side to make room for you. Kaveh helps bring some books to the sofa, giving you enough space to open your notebooks and notes to start revising what he hasn't checked yet.

A buzz from the phone startles you, picking it up to see a message from Kaveh.

× Kaveh: What do you want to eat? I'll order now so we can focus ←⁠(⁠>⁠▽⁠<⁠)⁠ﾉ

× Me: Hmmm, do you want Japanese food? I've been craving katsudon lately.

× Kaveh: Oh, yeah sure! I'll order ramen then. Let me ask stinky ass man what he wants and we're ready to go.

× Me: Don’t call him that >:(

× Kaveh: :P

Kaveh leans back and yells down the hallway, “Hey, Haitham! Wanna eat ramen, or sushi? I don't know whatcha want. We’re going to order from Wangmins.”

Al-Haitham's head pops out of his room, frowning deeply and seemingly annoyed.

“I can hear you just fine, no need for yelling.” he walks out, shaking his head. “I don't want anything, thank you.”

You perk up when he waves at you, returning the greeting with a little more eagerness than you anticipate. But he seems to not mind, the shadow of a smile gently hovering over his lips and a nod of his head is enough to have you kicking your feet in excitement.

Nudging Kaveh's arm, you point at your friend's clothes, curiosity filling your eyes when he walks past the dinner table and straight to the mirror.

‘He looks rather handsome today.’ your eyes follow him from head to toe, blushing for ogling so shamelessly.

Kaveh whistles loudly, noticing Al-Haitham's fit. He seems to have dressed more elegantly than ever, brushing his hair in front of the mirror next to the door and smelling his cologne swift in the air and heavy on the nose.

“You look way too fancy today, what's the occasion?” he asks absently.

“I'm going out with Nilou.”

Kaveh freezes upon his words, blinking slowly and eyes going from where you're sitting to Al-Haitham, unaware of the shift in mood. You nudge him quietly, awaiting for a response to fulfill your curiosity.

“A date.” he spells, and he regrets doing so when he notices your expression break slightly.

Oh.

“Man, that's um…that's new.” Kaveh scratches the back of his neck, surprised by the news. “Didn't know you were interested in that.”

Al-Haitham shrugs nonchalantly, checking his phone every few seconds and fixing the collar of his turtleneck, “She asked me, and I said yes. What's so weird about that?”

“Oh, nothing, nothing! Just never expected it from you…” He coughs awkwardly, not knowing how to continue the conversation, “What time are you coming home?”

“I don't know, probably late. Don't wait for me.” Grabbing his keys and the wallet from the table, he bids goodbye over his shoulder before closing the door behind him with an echoing thud.

For a couple of minutes, he doesn’t say anything in fear of breaking the dreaded atmosphere Al-Haitham has left behind in the awakening of the news of his date.

Kaveh is fiddling with his pen nervously, unable to look you in the eyes because he knows the expression he’s wearing is neither pleasant nor helpful to the situation. Because just like you, he lingers in this limbo of uncertainty that he can’t seem to comprehend.

He idly wonders if he should have said anything at all. This outcome is not one he predicted nor thought possible in his wildest imagination; and the fact that you're now hurt because of his words and encouragement is making things worse for him.

The fault doesn’t fall on either of you, and Kaveh is aware you won’t hold this against him because feelings are out of anyone's control

And at the end, even if heartbreak is disheartening and ignites horrible emotions from within your soul, it is better to know it now than later.

Losing a battle that has never begun hurts more than you’ve ever thought.

When the first sobs go past your sealed lips, Kaveh's resolve breaks at once.

There is not a second of hesitation from him when he tosses his things to the side to cradle you between his arms and you latch onto him as your anchor.

The reciprocation serves to let him know this was the right action to take, losing stabilization that makes both of you slide down to the floor clumsily, but still in each other's arms.

Kaveh tries to fix you on his lap to let you rest comfortably, hand running down your back in soothing motions while you cry quietly against his chest.

It goes on for a long time, but he doesn't let go of you for a second.

He can’t even say anything to make you feel better and it's frustrating. Not because of you, but because Kaveh isn’t good enough to communicate that everything will be alright. You don’t need that idiot who doesn’t realize how wonderful you are and it’s missing it out for a person who isn't worth the time—no offense to Nilou, she's a nice person, but you are more important than any other woman.

Biting his lip, he runs his fingers through your hair softly while you cry. He gets tangled easily between the fringes of hair, and Kaveh panics slightly when he gets stuck and is unable to detangle without causing a mess or pulling your roots. But when he hears you whine, and break a little laugh at his attempt at comforting you and messing up, he smiles softly, kissing the top of your head gently.

You tap the arm that’s holding your waist, catching his attention and making some distance to see your face. Kaveh frowns at your expression, cleaning a stray tear and cupping your cheek, thumb running soothingly under your eye.

With trembling fingers, you start spelling slowly to him, “I’m sorry.”

Kaveh shakes his head, smiling reassuringly at you. His reply is slow, too, vocalizing every syllable, “Don’t be.”

“My fault.”

It's not your fault, he wants to say, but shortens it with a shake of his head.

Conflicting emotions swirl inside of you, each one unable to place a name or intensity, that sends you into an overwhelming state of sadness.

Never in your life have you experienced something this strong that could make you ill with a snap of your fingers, rendering you weak and detached from your reality.

It still feels like a fever dream when you think about Al-Haitham trying to court someone, the ugly jealousy hurling inside your chest and your brain creating unnecessary images that do nothing to help your case nor fragile feelings.

Overthinking has always been your strong suit, despite trying to get rid of that bad habit for a long time; and it shows clearly that’s still ever so present when Kaveh shifts from under you, his big palm patting your head with care, and the tears well up in your eyes rather quickly with his show of affection because you selfishly wish this was Al-Haitham.

Falling in love is not as easy as romance books make it seem to be. It doesn't come with step by step instructions to help you get over the one you love, much less how to get the person of your affections when nothing seems to go your way.

The journey through the lands of unrequited love is a heavy one, one where you couldn't bring yourself to fathom severing the ties that bound you to him, even when the chance of Al-Haitham still hurting you unconsciously existed. Your love, though hopelessly one-sided, was a testament to the depth of your emotions—it’s bittersweet to try to find comfort in the idea that you might heal in the future, that you will get over him, but it lingers for a brief second before it vanishes completely.

And you rather be hopeless in love than to lose this cherished feeling you’ve cared for a long time.

Your brain runs down a mile, thought after thought, tears after tears, until you are left bare and dry from crying and fall asleep in Kaveh's arms.

#I started watching sign of affection and thought it fit AlHaitham perfectly so here is my rendition(?) to that anime #I didnt like al-haitham until that anime and now i like him #al haitham x reader #genshin impact fanfic #al haitham x you #genshin fic #otip writes

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