By: Celiny Arguilera
With copyright
Brazil
Arte gráfico que fiz no computador, no bom e velho Pointer Microsoft, Windows 7, em 2016, no pleno início da minha era Richter aos 11 anos.
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Viola Ntokazi Nwadike & Give an Ear Foundation Founder
Give an Ear Foundation has been dedicated to improving the lives of children with Microtia in Africa for over 11 years.
Founder Viola Ntokazi Nwadike & Give an Ear Foundation Founder shares her personal on why she started the Foundation
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I wasn't treated well as a child, by children or adults, and I didn't feel at home in my body until well into my thirties, in the late 90s. I'd gone through several versions of myself by then, activist, professional, lesbian, man, genderless, ambiently gendered, urgent voter, disillusioned former voter, churchgoer, disillusioned former churchgoer. Very few people cared about my choices or search. To put it mildly I'm not considered attractive and my doings aren't of consequence to most people. I did very much for a short time get involved with PLs, due to my hatred of males, and the semblance of community I was offered, that is what moved me eventually toward therapy. I was lucky in therapists, and always grateful for the little corners of my mother's family and church that gave me affection and stuck by me through difficult trials.
I'm writing this because I thought about how I don't really like to be around children. I am in synch with someone that posted, maybe last year, about how they don't like kids but treat them with a lot of care and love and affection when they are around kids, which they'd prefer not to be. I get that so well, and that's exactly how I try to do as well.
It's not that I don't like your child, it's that I don't like to be around children! If I am, I am going to make very sure, if I can remember to, to prevent them from having the experiences I had, when I was a child. The world changed a lot since then - but then it changed right back! I got reinstated involuntarily I suppose.
I don't have a very strong ability to care what others think, it is not my experience that people are going to be thinking good things about me, regardless of what they say, irrespective of their demographics. Ive never been part of the Black family because of my asian eyes, weight, skin darkness, and white adoptive mother. Autism cancels other relationships that might have otherwise been fostered. Staunch anarchist values cancel the rest.
I am often amused by a common naive perception of community that tumblr engages in, but I never want to interfere with it, because it's like listening to my parents shoot the shit in the 1970s. I long for that optimism and general good will, but I also know its limits, and all too familiar with the words that come before the actions. I know the damage that people who only say they are allies can cause.
I don't like the people here on tumblr by and large but I will try to learn to be affectionate and nice to them in future. It's for a good cause.
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