#claire outside : okay i guess / claire inside : time to shine

[rescuefield-a]

instead of finding me a date--- can we go on one?

so ungrateful i'll have to check my schedule, but i could make it work 🙄

#third time's a charm #claire being absolutely oblivious to leon's tentatives to hang out and do regular people stuff together is always so funny to me #claire outside : okay i guess / claire inside : time to shine

[daydream-disposal]

Wormhole

Steve is laying on his bed wearing his pyjamas, his eyes droopy and his mind hazy with tiredness but still, he insists on texting his friends. A normal tuesday, it appears.

Until suddenly, a big blue ring light starts to shine out of nowhere in the middle of his room. Steve sits on the bed, eyes wide. Suddenly a person gets out from inside the light. A boy about his height, his big honey eyes hiding behind his dark hair that was covering almost all of his freckled face. He was wearing black pants, a white button up and a coat. He looked drenched but still, he looked very handsome.

Is Steve too sleep deprived? Is he dreaming? Is he imagining this? He doesn't know.

"Oh thank god, it's you" the boy holds Steve's shoulders and kisses his cheek quickly, dropping a little device on the bed beside him.

"Um. Hello? W-who are you?" Steve freezes, trying to understand what just happened. He's not imagining it then, since the kiss felt very real. He would've blushed if the situation wasn't really scary.

"What? It's me. I guess I might look a little different, I've been traveling around for a while. Ugh my clothes are gross. I'm just gonna change real quick, okay?" the guy rambles walking to Steve's closet and opening the door. He searches for something, getting all his clothes out of the way. Steve frowns. What the fuck is this dude doing?

"Did you move my stuff again?"

"I literally don't know what you're talking about." Steve slowly gets up and walks towards the door.

"C'mon Steve, stop messing around, they were right here" he half laughs and keeps searching. A shiver goes down Steve's spine. He knows his name. Is he a spy? An alien? Is he here to harm him? Steve grabs his bat carefully and places it on his neck.

"I'd appreciate if you stopped messing with my stuff and left. I don't know who you are and why you're here! Just leave me alone!" he says with a rough voice.

Eli turns to face Steve, ready to laugh and ask 'what is this, a prank?' but his smile drops as soon as he sees Steve with the bat and a serious expression.

"Steve, calm down! It's me, your best friend, Eli Pepperjack. Do you seriously not recognize me?"

"Wrong! My best friend is Jim Lake and everybody knows that. I've never seen you before in my life!"

Steve and Jim being best friends??? Something is definitely Not Right. Eli looks around in disbelief. Now that he notices, Steve looks... younger. The room looks different too. It's the same style, but the colors are all wrong. He peeks outside the window and the street is slightly different too. Oh my god.

Did he just travelled to a parallel universe? One that Steve doesn't know him? He knew the wormhole could do that, but only on command! How did it malfunctioned so badly??

Steve adjusts his hands on the bat, getting Eli out of his thoughts.

"Wait! Wait! I can explain! I can prove that I know you!"

Steve considers, still not moving from the position he's in. The boy seems scared but somehow his eyes are shining, inviting. Steve sighs.

"Ok. Go on." he raises an eyebrow, curiously.

"Your favorite color is blue. You favorite food is pancakes. You can't have spicy food. You had a crush on Claire Nunes"

"Those are really basic and you could easily be lying. Or spying on me! And everybody had a crush on Claire!" Steve shouts, losing his patience.

"Okay, look." Eli reaches for his back pocket, taking out his wallet and handing Steve a picture of them hugging and smiling, doing the Creepslayerz hand gesture to the camera.

"You like nerdy movies like Gun Robot and Earth Invaders in secret because you don't want people to know. You don't know basic math but that's alright because you're a really great actor and you're very good at sports. Sometimes you let your insecurities get to you and that's why you act like you're superior to everyone else. But you're actually a really nice person. You care a lot about people, so much that you saved my life a thousand times before. You're funny and brave and I love you for that" Eli blurted out without even thinking.

"Wow, okay, that's scary. How is all of this possible?" He puts the bat down and stares at the picture, not believing what he's seeing.

"It's possible because I was traveling through that thing" Eli points to the wormhole device on the bed. Steve reaches it and throws it his way.

"Thanks. It's a wormhole, it's extraterrestrial technology. I've been living in another planet but I try to visit as much as I can. It malfunctioned this time. I'm guessing I ended up in a parallel universe" Eli says matter of factly, clicking the device on his hand. A blue hologram appears in front of them. Steve doesn't recognize the language on it.

"Hold up, are you telling me I'm dating an alien?"

"I literally just told you I'm from another universe and you decided to focus on that?"

"Well yeah" he shrugged.

Eli sighed, smiling.

"No, I'm human. I'm Earth's ambassador on the planet Arkiridion-5."

"Ok but are we dating...?" Steve blushes at him.

"Yes. We are."

"Oh sweet! Point for the Palchuk!" He punched the air. Eli laughs through his nose, shaking his head but still focused on the device.

"Can I ask you some questions?"

"Yeah, go on"

"How did it happen... How did we even... do it?" Steven didn't know how to ask this, but as if he was reading his mind, the brown haired boy answered quickly.

"Well, when we started getting close people just assumed. But our families are okay with it, if that's what you're asking"

"Cool. Alright." Steve knew he was bi for a long time now. He was just afraid of telling his family and friends. What if they got disappointed? What if they couldn't love him? What if he was left behind?

"How will I know if they're like this here too?" Steve asked in a quiet voice after a few seconds of silence and just the bleeping of the device.

"I'm pretty sure they love you in every universe. I know I do." Eli sinceraly stated, not even looking up. Steve had a hard time believing someone cared about him and loved him enough to say something so soft like that. He looked at the picture on his hands again. They were sharing a smile so genuine, their eyes meeting in such a sweet way, like they meant the whole world to each other.

"And how did we meet?" he leaned on the closet, crossing his arms. Eli just kept clicking away.

"At school. We didn't like each other at first, but we figured it out" he exhaled. "Took a while, but we did."

"Why? What happened?"

Eli thought about the years his Steve used to be mean at him and shove him into lockers. It was sad, but he knew there was good in him. Maybe this Steve could do it differently.

"Just... be nice."

"I am nice!" Eli stopped what he was doing, raising an eyebrow on Steve's direction. "Alright, I'll be nicer."

"Good. What year is it?"

"2018"

"Woah, okay, I'm so far off." he clicked a few more times, the big blue ring light popping up in the middle of the room again.

"Wait, you're leaving already?"

"Yeah. My Steve is waiting for me at home."

"But I still have so many questions!"

"Don't worry, it's gonna be alright. Nice to meet you. I hope I see you soon." And with that, he disappeared with the light, leaving Steve alone in his room. He looks down to his hands, still holding the picture strongly. He smiles.

"I hope so too."

Steve didn't remember his name. He tried to think back but at the time he was panicking at the thought of "CUTE BOY IN MY ROOM!" and focusing too hard on the fact that said boy was from another universe. So of course his ADHD brain would forget his name.

But this didn't keep Steve from looking. He was never this excited to go to school before. He started paying more attention to his surroundings, hoping he would spot the mysterious boy somewhere.

Instead, he spotted a fight. "Just be nice" he thought. The older boys being mean to the smaller ones does seem like a good moment to be nice. Also, it was just not fair.

"Hey, why don't you pick someone your size?" Steve approached the bully, tapping him on the shoulder with his eyebrows pinched.

"Ugh. Why do you always have to ruin the party, Palchuk? You had potential but you insist on being on the wrong side" he tries to push Steve, asking for a fight. Steve scoffs and holds the boy's wrist.

"Just let them go. You know you can't win against me." The bully grunts and shakes his wrist from Steve's hold. He nods to his friends and they leave, muttering amongst themselves.

Steve turns to help the other boys out of the ground, offering a hand. The first boy refuses, getting up fast and running away. And that's when finally, Steve sees him. He looks smaller than the boy in his room, his hair is shorter and he was wearing nerdy glasses. But it was definitely him. He would recognize that smile and those eyes anywhere.

"Thanks. Steve, right?" the boy said, holding his hand and getting up. Steve was at a loss of words. He nodded, smiling.

"That was very nice of you. I'm Eli, by the way." he shook his hand. He was real and he was right here, holding hands with him. Ok, this is happening!

"Nice to meet you. That was no problem really, if you ever have any trouble with them again just tell me" Steve blunted out nervously, scratching his neck. Eli smiled, picking up his books and leaving.

"Again, Steve?" the teacher asked, raising an eyebrow. "I'm starting to think you're not even trying. Go to detention!"

Steve sighs, walking with his head down in shame. But this time, when he enters the classroom he sees someone that make his eyes light up.

"Eli! Hi!" Steve sits on the table behind him, excited.

"Oh, hey Steve"

"What are you in here for?" he asks confused.

"I was breaking in. And you?" Eli says as if it's a normal occurrence.

"Woah what???"

"I was trying to study at the lab during recess."

"I didn't know that wasn't allowed"

"Well... I kinda was using their equipment to try and communicate with aliens... Which isn't allowed..." Eli says a little embarrassed.

"Oh" Steve laughs, finding the story very endearing. "So you like space, huh?"

"I do. Imagine if I got to do it. It would've been so cool!" he exclaims, and Steve has to hold back the urge to tell him about the parallel universe.

"It really would. Don't lose hope though" he winks at his direction.

Eli smiles and keeps working on his assignment.

"Y'know, I didn't expect you to be here. You're very... um... nerdy?" Steve admits after some minutes of silence.

"Oh so we're doing stereotypes? Alright, jock. Why are you here? Got into a fight?"

"What? No. I'm a nice person! I just didn't do my homework. Again."

"Because you didn't want to or...?" Eli asked confused, tilting his head. Steve had a genius idea. He felt like those cartoons when a little lamp lights up.

"I'm having a lot of trouble, actually. Are you any good with math?"

"Of course. Why?"

"What do you say you help me with homework and I help you by staying on look out when you're in the lab?"

Eli considered, as he heard the bell ring. He gathers his books and hands Steve a piece of paper before leaving.

"Sure. Text me later so we can talk about it"

"Sounds good" Steve smiled. If this went anything like he wanted to, he better start cleaning some space in his closet.

#hello! its me! again #just a silly little thing that came to me and i rolled with it lol #i kinda like it tho! enjoy! #steli #steve palchuk x eli pepperjack #creepslayerz #tales of arcadia #trollhunters #my writing

[misqato]

𝐩𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 || 𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐚 𝐤𝐞𝐢

A/N: wow, this took me quite a while in writing but here it is!! hope you guys enjoy this fic. requests are still open my loves! ‘til next time, claire❤

Word Count: 1633 words

Genre: Fluff

You were six when you first declared your love for Kei.

It was a bright and sunny afternoon. The golden rays of the sun shining down on your backyard. You had invited your best friend and next-door neighbor, Tsukishima Kei.

“Tsukishima-kun! I have a special surprise for you!” You pulled out a ring made of construction paper and covered with golden glitter, like the one you were wearing at that moment. “Huh? What’s that?” “It’s a wedding ring Tsukishima-kun! I made it!” “But why do we need a wedding ring? We’re not married yet.”

You gave him a gap-toothed grin. “We aren’t married yet, Tsukishima-kun, but if you wear this, it’ll look like we are.”

The boy cocked his head to the side. “Why do we need to look like we’re married?”

“Because I love you Tsukishima-kun!”

His eyes widened at the statement. “You love me?”, he asked.

“Yes! I love you Tsukishima-kun! I love you with all my heart!”

Your mother suddenly came and called Kei because his mother was outside calling for him.

You put the ring on his palm and planted a kiss on his cheek. He was completely speechless and before he could think of anything to say, your mom called out again to remind Kei that his mom was outside.

"Bye Tsukishima-kun! I hope you like it!", you called out after him.

~

Years have passed by since the incident.

It didn’t change anything in your relationship with him, except for the fact that your bond with him became stronger. Even when Yamaguchi came along, you and Kei were still close. But not only that your friendship had improved, your feelings toward each other had increased throughout the years. 

He didn’t wear the ring the next day. In fact, he didn’t wear the ring at all. Instead, he’d kept it. He kept it in a tiny box and put it on his shelf along with his dinosaur figurines. He even kept yours, which fell from your pocket as you were running on the way home.

Kei didn’t show it, but he was in love with you. He wasn’t sure at first, but when he’d start noticing all those tiny details about you, like the way you’d roll your eyes when he’d make a sarcastic remark, the way you laugh at your own stupid jokes before you could even get to the punchline, and even the way you pout when he teases you (he finds it adorable), he knew for sure that he was in love.

Now, both of you were in high school. He’d been meaning to confess his feelings towards you, but he just couldn’t find the words to say. He’d been missing every opportunity he could get.

Until after their match against Shiratorizawa, he knew it wasn’t the right time to tell you, but when you congratulated him with a hug so tight after the match, he completely melted and just as everyone was about to go home, he’d decided to finally tell you. 

“Oi, chibi-chan”

“Yeah, Tsukki?”

“C’mere for a bit. I have something to tell you.”

You were kind of confused, but you just went along and pushed through his teammates who were still celebrating their victory on the match. “Tsukishima, Y/N, where are you two heading?”, you heard Daichi call out. “We’ll be back in a bit, just need to talk about something.”, you replied. “Okay, but don’t take too long, we’re about to leave any minute.”, the captain said.

So then Tsukishima pulled you to the side where it was much more quiet. He was very nervous and he tried his very best not to show it, but knowing him for the longest time, you knew something was off. “Um okay, what is this about?”, you asked. “Okay, so let me get straight to the point.”, he stated, making you raise an eyebrow.

He then took a deep breath and said, “I like you, a lot. Actually no, that’s an understatement. I’m in love with you, and I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while now but I just can’t find an opportunity to do so.”

You gaped at him. You hadn’t expected your best friend to be in love with you but you were so so happy to hear those words from him.

You had the biggest crush on him ever since you were little kids. Even though he was the saltiest little thing, you still fell in love with him every single day. You really hadn’t expected him to like you back so what he just said made you completely speechless.

“Um? Anything to say? Hello? Earth to Y/N?”

You didn’t realize that you’d been gaping at him for a while. “Oh, sorry sorry.”, you replied. Finally finding the words to say you asked, “Wait, so are you asking me out?”. “Um, yeah I guess.” You then chuckled and said, “Well, you should’ve asked me sooner you know.”, you smirked. “Oh, why’s that?” “Cause then I would’ve had motivated you more today as your girlfriend.” 

He then made a soft smile and said, “Well, even though you weren’t my girlfriend then, just seeing you watch the game gave me all the motivation I need.” That statement made your heart completely melt and so you leaped in to give him a warm hug which he gave into your touch and carried you in his embrace. 

“So, should I take that as a yes?”, he asks. “Yeah”, you giggled. 

“I love you dummy.”

“Love you too idiot.”

When you got back and told the team about the news, everyone started cheering and congratulating you both. Your co-managers Yachi and Kiyoko gave you a warm hug while the boys patted Tsukishima’s back. 

Needless to say, everything worked out amazing in your relationship with Kei. The boy wasn’t big on PDA but when the two of you are alone, he gets all lovey dovey with you. You weren’t used to it the first time around, of course, for it wasn’t the salty, sarcastic boy you knew. But you grew accustomed to it because it’s nice seeing the affectionate side of him. But of course, he still keeps that usual salty side to him, which you didn’t really mind, you fell in love with that version of him anyway.

Kei hadn’t been happier in his life for he’s finally dating the girl he loved. Even though he’s not good with words and such, he makes sure to tell you how much he loves you often. 

You both are staying strong even through college as you both decide on going to the same university. Even though your schedules were packed, you made sure to have some time for each other as much as possible. 

And so the years pass by and you both graduate university. After both you had found stable jobs, you’d decided to move in together.

Life hasn’t been any better. You and Kei had been living with each other for about a year now. You both had tight schedules, but you still managed to find some time off to go on dates with each other.

~

It was a cool September evening when Kei had brought you to the sandy beach just a few minutes away from your shared apartment. It was windy that evening, and Kei admired the way the wind blew your hair away, the way your face gleamed in the moonlight, and how your eyes twinkled like the stars.

Both of you enjoyed nights like this, just sitting by the beach on a cool, windy evening, just talking about life. Sometimes, both of you would even climb on the rooftop of your apartment just to get a perfect view of the stars. It was your way of de-stressing with him. It made you feel at peace, just being away from everything and being with the man you loved, and it made him feel at peace too, because you’re just there right beside him, and that’s all that matters to him.

He’d been meaning to propose to you for months now. He found it difficult because of your busy schedules, so he thought, why not do it in your most favorite place in the whole wide world.

You’ve been sitting there quietly for a while, with your knees tucked to your chest to keep you warm. You rested your head on Kei’s shoulder.

“Y/N-san?”

“Hm?”

“Do you remember when we were still around six, I think, and you gave me a paper ring and told me that we’ll get married?”, he asked, which made you laugh. “Omg I almost forgot about that. Man, that was actually kind of embarrassing. I didn’t wear the ring that long though, it probably got lost at some point.” 

“Yeah well, I actually kept them.” He pulled out a small box from his pocket and showed it to you. You were surprised he even remembered the incident, let alone the fact that he’d kept those rings. “Wow, I can’t believe you kept them.” You got the box and opened it. Inside were two of the paper rings that you made back in kindergarten, but along with it, was a 24 carat diamond ring. 

Your eyes were spilling with tears of joy. You didn’t expect this to happen. Kei suddenly bent down on one knee and said, “I know I’m not good with words and all, so I’ll just go straight to the point. Y/N L/N, the love of my life, will you marry me?” You nodded furiously, “Yes! Yes I will!” You both sat up as he pulled you into his embrace. You’ve never felt this happy in your entire life, and so did he.

“I love you Y/N L/N, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Me too, Kei, me too.”

#hq #hq x reader #hq x y/n #hq x you #hq scenarios #hq fluff #tsukishima #tsukishima kei #tsukishima kei fluff #tsukishima kei x reader #tsukishima kei x you #tsukishima kei scenarios #tsukishima kei imagine #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #tsukishima imagine #tsukishima fluff #tsukishima kei scenario #tsukishima scenarios #tsukishima kei smut #tsukishima kei angst #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu scenarios #haikyū!! #haikyuu smut #haikyuu angst #haikyuu tsukishima

[westerhos]

Our Story: Chapter 5

Here marks the middle of our tale, that vast, perilous land between the beginning and the end. The going is treacherous in these parts—the wayward couple must heal on their own, tread the sea of two decades with arms and souls akimbo—but still, it is not unnecessary. The middle is never aimless. Always, always, it has one goal: the ending.

When the lights go up and the curtains close, you clap—perhaps, should the couple reunite (which, of course, they will), you shout “Encore, encore!” But then, at last, you return to your car. You catch the train, or you grab a taxi. At last, having started at the beginning and waded through the middle, you reach the final destination. The night is over; you go home.

Home. Whether a place, a person, a feeling, or a thing—it does not matter. Home is always the goal and the ending, the northernmost star we pray to and walk towards.

[December 24th, 1996]

Two weeks’ vacation in a cabin, tucked deep inside a fold of mountains. Here, amongst the stretches of living nothingness, even the silence has a voice. Owls hoot in the night. The pines’ chatter, their needle-whispers pierced by caws and shifted air—a hawk swooping to ensnare her prey. And if one listens closely enough, one can hear the hunter's a shaky, traitorous breath, which launches the doe across the snow—the echo of his heartsong, the drum to which the doe’s hooves beat. Come back, come back, come back.

This is why Jamie has come here: for the endless conversation between man and mountain, more steadfast than the chill in his heart. In the past four years, Jamie has sold the twin cot (it lies in a salvage yard somewhere, all broken springs and dreams). A different couple has moved into the studio, and when they had spoken of paint jobs—“Perhaps mint green, what d’ye say, hon?”— Jamie had thought, Thank God. He’d happily offered them the keys when they turned to him, pupils dilated with youthful optimism. By that point, there was no space for Jamie and Claire inside that Edinburgh Eden, and so he’d chimed in, “Aye, a bonny color.” (Indeed, the walls are mint now, though a forgotten strip of marigold shines in the northern corner.)

For two years, Jamie has lived with Murtagh in Glasgow, having shed not just his home but his editorial career in publishing. He has grown tired of fixing other’s mistakes—too many of his own in need of correction—and so here he sits on this Christmas Eve, writing towards redemption.

The Grampians are a peaceful place, big hulks of rock scattered with trees—bouquets of fir, oak, and pine cradling other cabins. At dark, their windows flicker, candlelit with the dreams of the aspiring novelists, essayists, playwrights therein. Men and women, all bowed before the cleansing hum of nature’s speech. Like Jamie, they had seen the fliers: WRITER’S RETREAT, TWO WEEKS IN THE MOUNTAINS—and so it was. They were small colony taking its temporary leave, hoping to reconstruct the world according to their own, more favorable terms.

Over supper, the group gathers and shares their ideas: outlines, pieces of dialogue, an inspiring poem they’ve loved since childhood. And while Jamie is generous with his advice, he holds his notebooks against his chest. Enraptured by this warm aloofness (for is it not the way of all great wordsmiths?), the others whisper behind their palms, “Have you read Fraser’s story?” Into napkins, “No, have you?”

But among the fifteen guests, only one has read Jamie’s story—and tonight, Jamie waits for her inside his cabin. His latest draft is fanned around him, some sections highlighted and others slashed. They are not unlike Claire’s old strike-throughs, which had snipped the would-be Dalhousie and eventually, Jamie’s own name, from her life (a reclamation of Beauchamp, a transformation to Randall). Among Jamie’s scribbles are his friend’s edits, which are much more forgiving, much less forceful than the lines of his own red pen. Each comment reads like a bashful request: “More clarity?”, “Switch the verb here?”, “Too many adjectives?” as if she needs permission to occupy the margins. Should I really be reading this?, she seems to say, the bare-backed rawness making her squirm.

But she is helping him, his friend. And so she sees Jamie’s drafts before John, his agent, and before Fergus, his assistant and most loyal advocate. With each comment, she brings him closer to understanding, to the better beginning, middle and end. Note by note, to the way his story (their story, for it can never be Jamie’s alone) should be. All rhymes and logic, had it not veered off-course.

Is Alexander too cold here? Shouldn’t he say something? (He should have.)

It seems out of character for Alexander to never visit his daughter’s grave? (Grief carves cowards out of heroes.)

Shouldn’t he try to win Elizabeth back? (God, yes. He should have tried harder.)

The knock comes three minutes later, as expected.

“Hello?”

“Door’s unlocked.”

“Oh!” A muffled apology, embarrassment for the delay. “Sorry,” the visitor says. “It’s late. Didna ken if ye still wanted to talk or not. I brought—well, I finished reading your last chapter.”

And now another player enters this fifth act, tip-toes quietly onto the stage. Only a slip of a thing in the cabin’s doorway, cheeks pinked by the storm’s sharp nip. She is Jamie’s friend-slash-critique partner, and even her entrance is punctuated by a question mark. The score of owl, pine, hawk and hunter swells, buffeted now by new notes: the crack of chapped lips smiling, the anxious shuffle of papers, and—

“Dinna fash, I couldna sleep anyways,” Jamie assures her. “Did ye like it, though? The new ending?”

His friend inhales sharply, stealing as much oxygen as the room will allow. Everything—the threadbare futon, the TV’s antennae, the welcome mat and Jamie’s body—bends towards some invisible presence. A ghost between between all.

“It was…a bit different from the last one.”

“I’ll take that as a ‘Nay, I didna like it.’”

She looks shyly at the ground, one foot treading nervous circles into the planks.

“It was a bit too sentimental is all. After everything. All that time and silence…D’ye really think Alex and Lizzie could make it?”

Her words are a blow to Jamie’s stomach, and the pages are fire in his hands. He puts them down, wants to thrust himself under a blanket of snow to freeze the flames.

“In a fairy tale, maybe, but life isna a fairy tale. And d’ye no want to write truths?” She looks up, and her eyes gore him. “This story isna a fairy tale either, Jamie. Yours never are.”

“Aye…aye, I s’pose they’re not,” he replies, thinking of his other novels and short stories, essays and poems. Each accepted by John’s gimlet eye, only to meet their end in a publisher’s slush pile. (“Too dark, too wallowing,” an editor once wrote.)  

“Give it another go. I’ll help ye tomorrow, if ye’d like,” his friend offers. “Three days left. I reckon we’ve time to sort the kinks, right the wrongs.” (Three days will never be enough for Jamie’s wrongs.)

“I’d appreciate that, lass. Verra much.”

His friend looks behind her and at the moon, a shy sickle in the sky. It draws her toward the door and the snow-covered mountainside.

“Weel, it’s a long walk back,” she says. “Wanted to give ye that before the morning, so I guess I’ll just…”

“Will ye stay with me tonight?” Jamie blurts. And he hates himself for saying this, the way it sounds outside his mouth and inside his cabin, landing on the unmade bed. Its despair makes it ugly. But.

But if his friend stays, Jamie thinks, perhaps the emptiness will leave. If his friend stays, perhaps his story will correct itself, falling into its natural rhythm, by the force of whatever solace she can give him.

“It’s Christmas Eve,” he continues, “and I…I dinna want to be alone.”

She pauses, thinks it over before saying, “Okay. Just for a bit?” (Just for a bit? Another loaded question, and one he doesn’t want to answer.)

“Thank you,” Jamie whispers, and Mary McNab removes her coat.

____

Long before daybreak, Jamie wakes. He gathers his draft, made complete by that final failing chapter, into a single stack. He retrieves a box from his suitcase, which is swathed in his old holiday sweater, and it speaks to him. A quiet loudness, like the murmur of the Grampians. You mean your lager-stained pullover? With the Santa looks that looks like he’s got vomit in his beard?

Inside the box is a gift—a vase, azure porcelain—though Jamie has no plans to send it across the Atlantic, to the Boston apartment where his ex-wife kisses another man. No. This vase will stay with Jamie, forever hidden on the high shelf of a closet, or exiled to the back corner of a desk drawer. Like his grief, it is something that he owns—this small cut from a cloth of unraveled dreams—to be kept and locked safely away. There, there, always there. All fancy people have vases.

Jamie wraps the box with his manuscript. One by one, he folds the pages over and under, seals the edges with tape to form an inch-thick layer. So much history around this small, delicate thing—their story, with the ending Jamie cannot use and which cannot be the truth. At last, he cuts the string of wool, which still drips from his sweater after all these years, and it rasps, Do we have time? Of course we do.

Finally, Jamie weeps—a mournful sound that joins the chorus of this great, big mountain—and ties a frayed, red bow.

____

(Jamie does not realize that Mary watches him from the bed. “Tell me about her,” she wants to say—for once a statement and not a question—but she does not. Instead, she calls to Jamie, presses her goosefleshed nakedness to his. And as they move together, slow but unfeeling, she pretends she is a vessel. Closes her eyes. Makes room for the ghost. I’m Claire Beauchamp. Just plain Claire Beauchamp.)

____

Here, the idea of a writer’s retreat, the introduction, and the parentheticals (although those are also inspired by one of my favorite authors Kate Atkinson) are my lame attempts at trying to be Lauren Groff. Actually, the next handful of chapters are the result of my obsession with her novel Fates and Furies—which you should absolutely go read, right now.

One of my favorite parts about writing a modern AU is finding ways to fit in canon characters or references. I started this chapter having no idea who Jamie’s critique partner was, but it very quickly came together once there was a remote cabin, Jamie inside it, and a woman coming to visit him. I hope the reveal is at least somewhat...fun? The vase is also obviously a nod to Outlander, and, well, I’m assuming y’all caught on to Jamie’s character names (a bit on the nose, lmao).

I’m not crazy about this introduction (it’s...a bit much...but it’s meant to tie into the introduction of Chapter 1), but the final paragraph from Mary’s POV is actually one of my favorite paragraphs in the whole fic.

I also think I wrote this during a snowstorm, wheeeee!

#myfic #outlander #claire beauchamp #jamie fraser

[lovewriting-5]

Rules:

*gif is not mine*

6. The Gingerbread House

8. Christmas Spirit

7. Bending Laws:

It was the next morning. Same thing as yesterday morning, I woke up to the sun shining in through the windows. Claire and Stephen came downstairs all dressed and ready to go. They say “Morning, (Y/N).” I say “Morning.” Claire tells me “We’re on our way to church. We’ll be gone for a couple hours.” She quickly scribbles a note and tapes it to the front door. Her and Stephen are gone. I think I can’t believe what happened yesterday. It was crazy.

Daniel comes rushing down the stairs as I’m folding the blankets. I ask “Where you going in a hurry?” He tells me “I’m off to the neighbors.” I ask, questioningly “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Trying to sound convincing, he says “Yeah...I...Uh...talked to grandma and she said it was okay.” I tell him “Okay but be careful.” He got a smile on his face, says “Will do.” Then he was out the door with his snow gear on.

I was finishing up getting ready when I hear Sean come out of the guest room. He calls “Claire? Stephen? Anybody home?” As he comes down the stairs, I tell him “They went to church this morning.” He says “Well looks like we’re home alone.” He kissed me on the cheek. He adds “By the way, did you see Daniel leave?” I tell him “Yeah...he went to the neighbors.” Angrily, he says “I knew it! Fuck! That kid never listens!” Sincerely, I say “Come on Sean...give him a break, there are no other kids around his age.” He says “I know...he just better not do anything to get us in trouble.”

We put on our winter gear and head out the front door. We leave the front yard and cross over to the next door neighbor’s yard. He says “Okay. Let’s get this brat back home now.” We head to the front door. I was about to knock when Sean lets himself in. I think Sean, really?? We see toys levitating in the air. I ask, shocked “Daniel?” Finishing the question, he says “What is going on here?!”

The toys drop to the floor as he says “Sean, (Y/N)! Wait! Don’t freak out! I can explain!” Chris stands up and begins “Let me tell them...I know it sounds crazy...but...I have a superpower. You saw me yesterday...I know you did. I was flying! I can move things...objects...with my mind!” Sean and I cross our arms. He has red face paint all over his face. Daniel avoids eye contact with us.

Sean says “Oh! A superpower...Really?” Chris says “YES!” Trying to ease the tension, I say “Well...that’s pretty cool, Chris...So you’re like a superhero?” He explains “I’m Captain Spirit! I can bend any matter to my will! But that’s my secret identity, so you can’t tell anybody!” Sean looks at Daniel, says “Oh, we can keep a secret, Captain Spirit...”

Welcoming us to his team, Chris says “Now that both of you are official members of the Spirit Squad! If you betray us, I’ll disintegrate you! Nah, just kidding. Oh yeah, we need a...team signal!” He crosses his arms across his chest. Daniel does the same thing, “Totally! I’m gonna be...Super Wolf! What’s your super names?” Sean says “How about... ‘The Silver Runner?’ Cool? Cool, right?” I say “I’ll be ‘Invisible Girl/Boy.’” Daniel says “Not bad! That’s true you both are good at running and hiding.”

The man from yesterday comes out of the bathroom. He says “Okay guys, I think we’re ready to roll...” He notices us, asks “Uh, excuse me...Who are you?” Shaking his hand, I tell him “I’m (Y/N).” Sean shakes his hand, “I’m Sean.” The man introduces himself, “Oh yeah, sorry...You’re here for Daniel. Hey, let’s make it official. I’m Charles Eriksen.” I say “Nice to meet you.”

Charles says “Hope you both know that Daniel and Chris are a dangerous team...We’d better watch out, or they’re gonna take over the world...” I cross my arms and smirk at Daniel. He gives a quick shy smile. Sean says “Yeah...They share a lot of things...As thick as thieves...” Excitedly, Chris asks “Can we go get the Christmas tree now? We’re both ready to fly!” Charles says “Yes, yes, yes...the team has been waiting too long! You guys should come along too. There’s nothing going on over here...”

Daniel says “YES! Can’t wait to see all the decorations! And Sean, (Y/N)! We could buy Christmas presents for grandma and grandpa...!” Not trying to sound like a downer but I remind him, “Well...They’ll worry if we leave the house...And remember you still have to get better, Daniel...” Trying to convince us, he says “Come on...You both know I haven’t done anything fun since I got sick...It’s the first time I’ve been out for daaays!” Charles explains “We won’t be gone for long, the market’s only a few miles away...Anyway, they’ll be at the service for at least another hour...” Chris adds “Yeah, I can show Daniel around...and you both can come with us! Please say yes!”

Sean and I look at each other. Daniel puts his hands together in a praying motion, “Please, please, please...” I chew the inside of my bottom lip. Sean says “Okay...You win...not a fair fight...So let’s go...” At the same time, Daniel and Chris say “Yes!” Charles says, jokingly “See? Dangerous...Okay team, I...give me a time out to clean up the backseat. I’ll honk when I’m done.”

Charles walks outside. Daniel asks “Ooo...uh...Can I use the bathroom?” Chris tells him “Of course! You’ll see my comic books.” Daniel scurries off to the bathroom. He turns back to us, says “I’m glad you’re both coming too...Hey, you guys wanna see my toys?” The three of us sit on the floor next to his toys. From the bathroom, we hear a faint “Oh! Score! The new Hawt Dawg Man!” I chuckle a little.

Chris begins “Since you’re new members of the team, you have to know everybody...These are Captain Spirit’s friends! And his enemies...” Sean says “Dude! That’s pretty cool...” He asks “Can you guys guess who are the good guys and the villains?” I say “Let’s see...”

The two of us tag teamed the decision. As we were placing them, Chris says “The bad guys...The good guys...Not that easy, right?” We finished placing them, he asks “You suuuuure?” Sean asks “Okay. How did we do?” According to him, “Not bad! You’re almost right...It was a bit tricky.” Turns out we put Insectoid, Dino and Pirate on the villain side. Power Bear, Warrior and a shark car on the hero side.

Chris corrects the wrong ones, explains “This is Team Spirit! The good guys. There’s the Forest Warrior, Power Bear, Mar-T Rex and Sky Pirates.” I ask “So...who are the bad guys?” He explains “That’s Noctarious, and the Shark-Stinger. There’s also Snowmancer, but he’s out in the garden. Captain Spirit kinda...took care of him. He might need a little surgery now...But they’re all working for Mantroid, who’s the REAL supervillain!” Sean asks “So...where is he?” He says “Hiding out on his evil planet, waiting for me...But Captain Spirit and Super Wolf will make sure he doesn’t hurt anyone!” I say “Yeah...strength in numbers. Sounds like Mantroid is in trouble.” Chris continues “Just wait until he sees what Captain Spirit can do now...”

“Yeah...about that...Ummm...Aren’t you afraid...? Maybe...it’s not a good idea to disclose all your powers like this...That Mantroid guy could be...watching you, you know...” I add. Mischievously, Chris says “Even better. So he’ll know he’d better stay away from us!” Sean adds “Anyway, you shouldn’t let anyone know about this. Not even your father...” Sounding like he wants to say something but hold back, “I’m definitely not telling dad. I don’t want to freak him out. He’s worried about other stuff anyway...”

I glanced at Sean. He looked like he was going to press on further. I placed a hand on his arm, say “Well...Your dad is cool. He...totally hooked you up with that tree house.” Chris says “Yeah, he let Stephen build it for me! It’s my Flying Fortress!” Sean says “Oh, yeah...I saw that drawing you made of him. With that...badass blazing sword.” Grateful, Chris says “I made it to thank him. For making the tree house. Well, Captain Spirit had to help him, of course!” I say “Obviously. All hail Captain Spirit, first and only...carpenter vigilante!”

Sean says “Well...the Flying Fortress needs fixing now...” Chris says “Yeah...That sucks. Dad couldn’t fix it yesterday...He was not feeling well...He told me he’ll do it when we’re back from the market.” I chew the inside of my bottom lip, contemplating about asking. I ask, sincerely “Chris...It’s...none of our business, but...are you and your dad okay?” Questionly, he asks “Uh, what do you mean?” Sean chimes in “We don’t know...Claire seems to...be worried about you guys. Yesterday...Stephen and her talked about your dad...I think they had a talk with him...” He says “Claire’s always worried. We’re cool. Totally. He’s just...He...has a hard time being on his own...that’s all.”

“Chris...We know life can get pretty tough. Trust us. But...you’ll be okay. You’re an awesome kid.” I tell him. Chris says “Thanks. But I don’t feel scared anymore. I have the power...And I have Daniel!” Sean says “That’s cool.”

Charles honks the horn to signal us that the backseat is cleaned and ready to go. I say “There’s the signal.” Sean calls in the direction of the bathroom, “Come on, Daniel.” He comes out, says “Hey! Pro-tip: don’t...don’t go in there.” The three of us, say “Ew.” Sean says “Okay, Squad, let’s roll.”

We head outside to the black pickup truck. Charles opened the back hatch. Chris and Daniel climb in. Sean asks him “You need my jacket? We don’t want you catching another cold...” A little embarrassed, Daniel says “No, I’m good. Thanks...” Charles says “And don’t be waving your arms around when I’m driving, okay?” As soon as he turned his back, they jokingly waved their arms around. Sean reminds him “Yeah. Remember, Daniel, don’t mess around...” He says, annoyed “All right. Jeez...”

Charles gets in the driver seat. Sean and I squeeze onto the passenger seat. He sat closest to Charles while I sat right against the door. Charles says to Chris “Thanks for clearing the snow from the porch! You’re...You’re awesome!” Chris says muffled by the window, “You’re welcome, dad!” He pulls out of the driveway and head to the Christmas Market.

#Sean Diaz x reader #Sean Diaz imagines #Life is Strange 2 fanfiction #Sean Diaz #Life is Strange 2 #LiS2 #Life is Strange #LiS #Life is Strange fanfiction #Life is Strange x reader #Life is Strange 2 x reader

[sidecarghost]

Suptober 20 - Day 22 I cursed the gloom that set upon us, But I know that I love you so...

Notes: The Rain Song by Led Zeppelin has this strong love that makes everything brighter, then everything turns bleak but the love is still there. This reminded me of the Novaks. They seemed like a very loving family, but Jimmy’s decision to be a hero and be Cas’s vessel shatters their family. The love remains, but things have definitely taken a gloomy turn.

pov: split mostly between Amelia and Claire. Claire is trans girl.

It is the springtime of my loving The second season I am to know You are the sunlight in my growing So little warmth I've felt before

Amelia felt like her life began when she said "I do" to Jimmy Novak. The rest of her life had been a quiet winter, preparing her to blossom from maiden to wife. The newlyweds moved in to the Jimmy's house. The house echoed with promised dreams and Amelia was eager to listen. The house had been left to Jimmy by his parents, and now it was their turn to raise a family there.

It isn't hard to feel me glowing I watched the fire that grew so low, oh

In June 1997, Jimmy and Amelia found out they were expecting. That summer the glow from Amelia rivaled the Sun. Amelia loved her husband, she loved her home, and she loved the baby growing in her womb. Her love of the child she had never met was raw, primal, and unconditional. Jimmy and Amelia prepared a nursery for their bundle of joy.

***

In September, the ultrasound technician asked if they wanted to know the baby's sex. "Yes," the expecting parents answered in a single voice. "Congratulations, you are having a boy," the technician smiled. Now, they knew what color to paint the nursery, they knew what color rompers to buy, everything would be blue. Blue, blue, baby boy. They found the perfect first and middle name for their baby boy.

In March 1998, Amelia calls her husband at his office. The baby is coming! After the delivery, their baby cries loudly and he is declared healthy by the obstetrician. The newborn baby continues to cry with passion and he is tenderly placed on his mother's chest. Amelia looks at her baby and tells Jimmy that their baby is the most beautiful thing she has ever seen.

It is the summer of my smiles Flee from me, keepers of the gloom Their baby becomes a toddler  Their toddler's first word is door. Anytime something needs to be opened it is door. Time to play outside "door" Want cereal open? "door" Open toy chest? "door" Their toddler is smart, adventurous, loving, and beloved. Jimmy and Amelia sing the toddler sweet lullabies and rock him gently in their arms.

Speak to me only with your eyes It is to you I give this tune

Their toddler becomes a child. Jimmy and Amelia show their child how to write, to pray, to do chores, to dance, to play, to sing. Life is their adventure and they don't let one day go to waste. They teach their child about their faith, nature, people, right, and wrong.

Ain't so hard to recognize, oh These things are clear to all from time to time, ooh

Their child teaches them too, she tells her parents she is a girl. Jimmy and Amelia love their daughter, and they reach out to a gender therapist to help their daughter and them. Their daughter's name is Claire, and her old name is dead and buried in the past. The name Claire means clear, bright, and shining. Amelia thinks the future will be clear, bright, and shining just like her amazing, beautiful daughter. If Amelia had guessed how terrible the future would be she would have taken more family videos and more family photos. Maybe she would have tried to find more time to take family vacations. More late nights dancing and singing as a family in the living room. Spent more time cuddling with her husband and playing with her daughter. But Amelia Novak had no idea how little time left she had with her husband and daughter.

I cursed the gloom that set upon us,  But I know that I love you so

Jimmy grabs his trench coat and leaves through the front door. Claire opens the front door. "Daddy?" she asks. Her father's warm expression is gone. The face that turns to her is cold and unmoved. "I am not your father," Castiel says in a voice that sounds gravelly and deep. The voice doesn't sound like her father. The cold stare from his eyes doesn't look like her father. And then her father and not-father is gone. Claire doesn't understand. Her parents were her support. Their unconditional love was a part of life. She felt their love everyday, she felt their love like feeling raindrops falling on her fingers or like sunlight touching her face.

"What happened to dad?" Claire asked her mother. "I think he may be sick. Sometimes, people get sick even though they are physically healthy," Amelia told her daughter. "Will he be okay?" Claire asked. "We have to pray that he will be," Amelia kissed Claire's brow. A year later Jimmy came home. If Amelia knew that would be the last time she saw her husband alive she would have taken a family photo. She would have kissed him. She would have tried to recapture those times their family would dance and sing and be goofballs together. But Amelia held on to her hurt and her anger. Then when the demon possessed her she lost any chance to tell Jimmy that she loved him. Jimmy was dying, and she was trapped inside her mind watching while a demon used her body.

Amelia failed Jimmy, but she would find her way back to him. He was a hero, and she wanted to tell him that. Amelia and Claire moved in with Amelia’s mother. Claire never saw her mom much anymore. Her mom was too driven to find dad to raise her daughter. Claire had now lost both parents. But Castiel was determined to help her. Sam and Dean would help too. Claire knows Castiel, she had been his vessel. Castiel had smited a demon using her hands. They did find Claire’s mother. A grigori angel was feeding on Amelia's soul.  In the fighting Amelia is mortally wounded, and Claire saves Castiel by stabbing the grigori with his angel sword.

Amelia dies in her daughter's arms. Sam had told Claire, "In this line of work, death isn't always good-bye." Claire would become a hunter too.

These are the seasons of emotion And like the wind, they rise and fall

Amelia finds Jimmy in Heaven. Jimmy asks Amelia, "How was she? How's Claire?" Amelia tells him, "Oh, Jimmy, she grew up so beautiful. She's so strong." Jimmy responds, "Like her mom. I love you. Amelia finally gets to tell her husband what she has wanted to say on that night long ago, "I love you, too."

This is the wonder of devotion I see the torch We all must hold

#suptober20 #claire novak #amelia novak #jimmy novak #castiel #trans!claire #spn fic #gum writes

[three-drink-amy]

All the Shine of a Thousand Spotlights

masterlist - AO3

Chapter Eight - And the Sun Can’t Stop Us Now

I walked to my door, my mind elsewhere. I was stopped short by the sight of Jamie sitting on the floor next to the door to my home. Freezing where I stood down the hall, I watched him for a minute before he noticed I was there. “Jamie?” I finally asked. 

His head snapped in the direction of my voice. He jumped up quickly, an eager look on his face. “Ah, ye’re home.” 

“Yeah. How long have you been here?” 

He shrugged. “No’ long.” He made a face. “Or perhaps, a while.” 

I stepped closer to him. “What are you doing here?” 

“Where were you?” he asked at the same time. 

I couldn’t help but laugh at us trying to speak over each other. “I went to the after party. Like you wanted me to.” 

A soft look crossed his face. “Ye did?” I nodded. “Oh.”  

I took yet another step closer. “Jamie, what are you doing here?” 

He took a deep breath, looking at me with an emotion I couldn’t readily name. “I needed to ask ye something.” I nodded for him to continue. He swallowed before opening his mouth to speak. Suddenly, his mouth closed again as he looked around the hall. “Do ye think we could do this, perhaps, inside?” he asked, pointing to the door. 

I chuckled, nodding to him. I pulled out my keys and let him in. Glancing around my home frantically, I made sure it looked presentable before I let him all the way in. He walked in and closed the door behind him, but didn’t move much further into the room. I couldn’t stop moving. Walking over to the kitchen to set my bag down, grabbing a quick glass of water, setting one out for him, all before finally moving back in front of him. 

“So, uh,” I tried, starting again, “why are you here?” 

Jamie nodded, realizing he had to say something. “I just had one of the biggest nights of my life and I would have turned it down.” My brow furrowed at his statement. “I was ready to turn it down, but you convinced me no’ to. I guess…” he trailed off, sighing a bit. “I guess I just wanted to know why.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“That offer ye made me,” he reminded me. “Why did ye do it?” 

I raised my eyebrows, taking a breath. “Well, I told you why. Because I wanted you to have the part. You were perfect for it and you deserved it.” 

“That’s the only reason?” he asked, an almost desperate look on his face. 

I more or less understood what he was asking now. Of course there was more to it, but I’d never told him — or anyone — the full version, the full truth. “Jamie…” I began, feeling a bit unsure. 

“Look, I’m just trying to understand everything that’s happened in the months since we met,” he told me. 

I looked down at my feet, nodding slightly. “Okay,” I whispered. I took a deep breath, and then another, working up the courage to be truly honest with him. Our entire relationship to date had been half truths and dancing around topics. I wasn’t sure I knew how to do this with him. 

I started to pace a bit. “Okay, so we...had our night together. And then the next morning, it was different.” He looked confused. “Not in a bad way. It was just…” I tried to find the right words. “I was rushing out and you stopped me. And you kissed me. And it felt...it already felt like we’d been doing that forever. I mean, the night before was, you know... what it was. But then that was different. And I hadn’t even given you my real name, but something about that — that kiss, that moment — felt real.” I shook my head, hoping I wasn’t making a mess of this. I couldn’t look at him as I talked. “But then we both had to go and I jumped in the cab without a way to get ahold of you and I tried to convince myself the whole way back to my home that it was for the best. I never really got anywhere with that, though. Because I just felt something about what we’d shared.” 

I took a quick drink of the water I’d set out for myself. 

“The best I could do was distract myself from you with auditions.” 

“But I was there,” he supplied. 

“Yeah. And you were amazing, obviously. And John and Marilyn agreed. But I was just...in shock, kind of. You’d crossed into my other world and I didn’t know what to do with it. If you’d have been a shitty actor, it could have all been easy, but you weren’t.” 

He chuckled a bit at that, making me look up at him. I watched him for a second before I spoke again. 

“And then I went outside and saw you.” I paused, remembering the gut punched feeling from that conversation. “We were both shocked, but you...you seemed pissed. And I understand why. I get it. But the way you looked at me while we stood there.” I took a breath. “It hurt. I’d reveled in the way you’d looked at me and treated me mere hours before. But then it was all gone. Disappeared. Replaced with disappointment and anger.” 

“Claire,” he breathed, but I couldn’t let him stop me yet. 

“So then, John told me he thought you were going to turn it down and I couldn’t let that happen. Which was when I went to your apartment again and you were, yet again, unhappy to see me. And you told me in no uncertain terms exactly why you didn’t want it. Which was fine. You’re allowed your own reasons. But it just...stung.” 

I closed my eyes, trying to pull myself together. Tears were building behind my eyes and I really didn’t want them to fall. “Look, all the reasons I listed when I called you were real. I wanted you to have your big break. I knew that you were the only person we could picture in the role. You deserved this opportunity. But there was also a little selfish part of me that wanted to change how you looked at me. I wanted that morning-after look back. I guess, I just wanted you to not hate me.” 

Jamie stepped toward me, a sad look on his face. “God, I never hated you. Never. I hated the situation we found ourselves in. I hated that I felt like I couldn’t take the role because of my own stupid pride. I hated that I also felt like anything we’d had that night or morning was gone. But I never hated you, Claire. Far from it.” 

“Why did you let me stay on?” I asked. If he was getting his answers, I wanted my own. 

He breathed out a shell of a laugh. “Well, I also meant what I told ye. I’d been hoping to work wi’ Claire Beauchamp. But after everything that happened, I, I really just wanted to work wi’ you.” 

“I don’t understand. How is that any different?” 

Jamie took another step closer to me. “I didna care about yer name or yer legacy. I just wanted to be wi’ ye, in whatever way I thought I could. If that meant that ye were just my director, then so be it.” I raised my eyebrows in surprise. “I mean, I truly did want the part. I spent so long waiting to call John back because it was killing me to turn it down.” 

He let out a dark laugh. “And yet, there have been times in the last few months when I’ve wondered if I should have turned it down.” I gave him a confused look. “Because as bloody great as it is for my career, it’s been torture for me. I wanted to learn from ye and be around ye, but it just made it harder. Ye’d talk to me and give me notes. Ye’d laugh at something I said and buy my lunch. Ye’d share a meal wi’ me and get me to tell ye things I didna want to tell anyone. Ye’d yell at me and keep me on my toes. And in all that time I... I fell for ye. More than I already had started to the night we met.” 

I stared at him, wondering how he was saying the same things I’d been feeling. My breath was coming shorter. “Jamie.” 

“Is there any part of ye that feels the same way?” he asked, his voice small. 

I tilted my head, looking at him through the unshed tears in my eyes. “Of course I feel the same way. How could I not?” An excited smile crossed his face. “But Jamie, it doesn’t matter.” 

He fell back a bit. “Why no’?” 

“Because of the very reasons you gave me for why you couldn’t take the part. The accusations. The rumors,” I reminded him. “It wouldn’t go away just because you already have the part. And I’m not going to put the way I feel ahead of your career.” 

Jamie blew out a breath, staring at me. “I dinna care about that.”

“Yes, you do.” 

“No, I don’t,” he insisted, stepping until he was directly in front of me. “I care about you. I-I love you. And I canna take it anymore. Those fears aren’t enough to hold me back anymore.” His hand reached out and cupped my cheek. “I want to be wi’ ye, Claire Beauchamp.” 

“You really do?” I asked in a whisper. 

“God, yes,” he cried, moving in to kiss me. I anticipated it, could feel his breath against my cheek, but he pulled back at the last second. He looked at me with concern in his eyes. “Wait, do you want that?” 

I breathed out a laugh, nodding as I leaned in to close the distance between us. My lips pressed to his desperately, my hands settled against his neck, pulling him to me. His arms came around me, keeping me close. So many emotions had built up between us in the months since we’d last kissed. And each one of them was fueling our embrace. He kissed me like he was drowning and I was the last bit of air. I almost felt dizzy with it. 

I pulled back quicker than I wanted to, looking up at him. He looked almost annoyed, his hands grasping at my waist. “You know, we should probably still keep this a secret.” 

He nodded once with a small “okay” before pulling me back to him. From there, things escalated quickly. Our mouths fused, tongues dancing, hands everywhere. His hands found my arse and pulled my hips against his. I sighed into his mouth, only encouraging him. Soon, he bent down and picked me up, my legs on either side of his waist. “I want ye,” he panted against my lips. 

“Then have me.” 

I’d spent months with flashes of our night together haunting me. I knew exactly what I wanted. My mouth left his, kissing my way across his jaw, down his neck. I left a small bite behind his ear, making him stumble a bit as he tried to find my bedroom. He pressed me to the wall, looking at me with intense eyes before his lips were on mine again. Our kisses were fire, but I wanted more. I ground myself against him, feeling him grow harder and moan into my mouth. My fingers were tight in his hair, pulling at the root. We were driving each other crazy in the best way. 

“Next doorway,” I whispered to him after a roll of my hips earned me a thrust in return. 

He tightened his hold on me and walked through the doorway to my bedroom. Laying me down on my bed, he immediately climbed over me, his body settling against mine. We were both still fully clothed, but rocked against each other like we didn’t have multiple layers in our way. His mouth attached to my neck as his hand cupped me over the shirt. 

“Fuck,” he sighed. He leaned back, reaching for the hem of my shirt. “Take this off.” 

“You too,” I ordered in return. He stood up off me, taking off his clothes. I wriggled out of mine as quickly as I could, throwing them from the bed. I sighed, looking at him, no longer just memories to tide me over. He was gloriously naked and right in front of me, staring back at me. “Come here.” He didn’t need to be told twice. His body was over mine again, the feel of his skin against my own sent shockwaves to my spine. 

Jamie kissed me again, hungrily. His hands slid up my body, stopping at my chest. I ran my foot along his bare calf, wanting him to do more than just kiss me. Breaking from our kiss, I reached in the drawer next to me, moving my hand til I found the box of condoms. I grabbed one and pressed it to him, raising an eyebrow. He smirked, taking it from me and rolling it on quickly. 

He hovered, staring down at me. I reached up and cupped his cheek, bringing him down for a long kiss. While we kissed, I grabbed him in hand. Moving to his ear, I whispered, “Do it now, and don’t be gentle.” 

As if it was possible, his eyes darkened even more before he followed my directions and drove home. I cried out, clutching to him. He watched me for a moment before sliding out and thrusting in again. Quickly finding a rhythm, his mouth moved to my neck, winding me up in the best way. My hand was in his hair as my hips rocked against his. My other arm clutched to his back and I held him to me. We moved together, feeding off each other. I locked my legs around his waist as I continued to meet him, thrust for thrust. 

“God, Claire,” he cried. I marveled at him using my real name this time. I sighed his name in reply. He rolled his hips, hitting a deep point within me. My body tightened around him in response. He hit there repeatedly, driving me closer and closer to the edge. He switched to Gaelic again and I started to lose it. My arms were both around him, holding him as close as I could. 

His movements lost his rhythm, becoming more erratic. I knew he was close while I reached down and grabbed his arse, bringing him in deeper. He groaned against me, his motions stuttering. 

I felt almost there, myself. He rocked within me, against me and I was getting so close. His mouth moved to my throat again, his teeth stinging against my skin. With one more thrust, there I was, clenching around him, clinging to him as I hit my release. I heard and felt the noises he made as he felt me closing around him. He was right behind me, following me over the edge. 

Jamie placed a kiss on my shoulder before he rolled off me. My hand found his next to me as we laid side by side on the bed. I felt the need to be touching him. His fingers laced through mine. I turned my head on my pillow and looked to see him staring back at me. Smiling, I leaned closer, kissing him softly this time. His hand released mine as his arm came around me, bringing me against him. 

We laid there for a long time, in a comfortable silence, while we regained our energy. 

“Jamie,” I finally said, interrupting the quiet. 

“Yes?” He looked over at me. 

I kissed him again, resting my forehead against his as we parted. “I love you, too.” 

A large smile spread across his face as he tucked me in closer, leaning down to meet me for a longer kiss. It felt like everything was finally right in the world. At least for the night. 

I woke the next morning, feeling delightfully sore. Stretching where I was laying, I glanced over to see Jamie was still asleep. I didn’t get to wake up next to him the last time. This time, I wasn’t taking it for granted. I tucked myself right back into his side, leaning my head on his shoulder. Even in sleep, or half sleep, his arm came around me, holding me close. A smile crossed my face as I closed my eyes again. 

Once we both were awake, Jamie decided to shower while I worked on making coffee. We’d both need to rally since we hadn’t gotten very much sleep the night before. A smirk played at my lips as I remembered all the delicious reasons why. I turned to take our coffee cups back to my bed when I saw him standing at my bookshelf. The very one that held my Tony. I watched him for a moment as he reached out and picked it up, almost reverently. 

I set the coffee cups down as I crept over behind him. He was staring down at it intently. My arms came around him and he jumped slightly. “You should get used to the weight of that,” I told him, planting a kiss at his shoulder. 

He looked back at me, a look of disbelief on his face. “I doubt it.” 

“I don’t. Nor do many different reviewers.” My arms tightened around him. “You already have Tony buzz, my dear.” I leaned my head against him. “So, I mean it. You should get used to the weight of it.” 

I heard the gentle thunk as he set it back on the shelf. He turned around in my arms and closed his around me. “I’d rather just get used to the weight of you in my arms.” 

“That was...bad,” I teased, a laugh coming from me anyway. 

“It doesna matter,” he said, kissing my cheek, jaw, and neck. “Ye said ye love me.” 

“You said you love me as well,” I reminded him, letting him continue to pepper me with small kisses. 

“Aye, and I meant that,” he assured. “But that rather means ye’re stuck wi’ my lame comments.” 

I pulled back and looked at him, his face cupped in my hands. “You know what, I think I’m okay with that.” He grinned as he met me for a kiss. 

We spent most of the morning and into the early afternoon together, often horizontal. With the exception of the time he took me as I sat on my kitchen counter. It was a day of bliss and I almost couldn’t believe it was real. 

But around 3:00, things started to grow serious between us. We both knew why. The theater was beckoning us back. In an almost morose mood, we both cleaned up and got dressed to go back to the world that had thrown us a wrench. Jamie wore an old t-shirt I’d won as a giveaway so he wasn’t wearing exactly the same clothes as the night before. 

He held my hand as he walked to the door. Everything was different this time around. I had his number. We would see each other again. Something had been started between us for real. But the tender kiss he gave me at the door was nearly the same. And the way I felt from it was certainly the same. I kept my arms around his neck as he pulled back. 

“I’ll see ye at work.” It was a statement and a question. 

“You will.” 

His arms tightened around me slightly. “And then, uh, how would ye feel if I came back here?” 

I closed the space between our bodies, leaning up til I was almost kissing him. “I think that sounds perfect.” He smiled softly before leaning down to meet my lips with his. 

We broke apart before we wanted to, our foreheads resting together. “We can do this,” I promised him. 

“Aye,” he agreed halfheartedly. “Tis just a...verra large secret we’re keeping from everyone we ken.” 

“Yeah,” I agreed, starting to feel a bit uneasy. 

Jamie hugged me, whispering in my ear. “If I get to be wi’ ye, then it’ll all be worth it.” I pulled back, nodding to him with a touched look on my face. He kissed me again quickly and was out of the door. 

It was going to be a struggle, certainly. But I agreed with him. 

It would be worth it. 

End of Arc I.

A/N: I didn’t want to spoil that this was the end of Arc I at the top, so my notes are here. Arc II will be coming after a short break where I finish writing it! Thank you SO MUCH for the support of this half of the story! Each comment or reply brings me so much joy! 

Next chapter

#outlander #outlander fanfiction #outlander fanfic #my writing #all the shine of a thousand spotlights

[sparkie96]

Umbrella Leon and BSAA Chris part 2, please? Love u💕

He couldn’t help the butterflies in his belly, nor the fluttering of his heart as his plane landed in the Eastern Slav Republic. They did it. They were almost free and in the clear. Just a couple more stops and they didn’t have to worry about anything. The plane landed at the designated terminal, the stewards and stewardesses helped the passengers out of their seats and to the designated areas. Leon had been surprised at how long it had taken, but this time…he didn’t dread the trip here. 

No, this time, he wasn’t here for an assignment for Neo-Umbrella. They didn’t even know he was here, nor did they know he was never coming back. He was here for a different type of mission. One that didn’t involve BOWs or civil wars. This was a more…personal mission for him. And this time, he wasn’t alone. 

“Where are we?” A female voice asked next to him, Sherry Birkin pulling her carry-on bag from the storage compartment above them, “Are we safe?" 

Leon gave a nod, "Yeah…for now. We’re going to be staying with a friend of mine…just until my contact pulls through on the rendezvous." 

Sherry gave a knowing smile and a cocked brow, "You mean when Captain Chris Redfield meets up with us to sweep you off your feet and take us to whatever BSAA Headquarters will have us until he sets everything up." 

”…Right.“ Leon chuckled, giving her a kiss on the forehead, "But…you and I are almost in the clear…then we’re free." 

A sigh left the blonde, "We should have been free when Wesker died in Africa." 

"I know, kiddo.” Leon replied, getting his own carry-on, “But luckily, we were able to escape when they were switching everyone and everything over to new facilities." 

Sherry nodded, stepping in front of Leon as they filed out of the plane. While waiting for their luggage at baggage claims, she had initiated a game of "I Spy” to take their minds off of things and pass the time while waiting for their ride to this “mysterious hide-out”. The game reminded her of when she was little and when Leon came back from assignments for Umbrella. Or while they had been traveling to new facilities between company takeovers.

She had been grateful that Leon had been there to take care of her when Umbrella picked them up after Raccoon City. He had been angry that they had been in the hands of the enemy, but he vowed to never leave her side, becoming like a father to her. And now, all these years later, he had taken her with him in hopes of finally getting freedom. A new start at a better life far from BOWs and evil corporations. 

Well, sort of…considering Leon’s fiancé’s job with the BSAA. 

“I spy…” Leon said, looking around the airport terminal, smiling when he saw a yellow suitcase next to an elderly couple, “Hm…something yellow." 

Sherry gave a thoughtful hum as she looked around the terminal, trying to figure it out. She spotted a little girl with a bright yellow rain slicker, "Her jacket?” She guessed nodding toward the little girl. 

Leon shook his head as they sat down, “Nope.”

“Darn.” Sherry pouted, looking around some more before spotting a woman with yellow rain boots, “What about that lady’s boots?" 

"Here’s a hint; It’s not clothing.” Leon said, chuckling when Sherry gave an overdramatic groan. 

“Okay!” She sighed, looking around at all the possibilities, “Does it have anything to do with clothing?" 

Leon gave a nod. Okay, so, it was yellow and it wasn’t clothing…but it had something to do with clothing. What could it be? She analyzed the area, tapping her chin thoughtfully as she looked around at their surroundings. She spotted an elderly couple sitting together, a yellow suitcase at their feet. She snapped her fingers together, giving a "Ah, ha!” Before pointing to the suitcase, a confident smile on her lips as she looked between the suitcase and Leon.

The former agent laughed and nodded, “Yup. You got it, Sherry Berry.”

“Sweet! Now you owe me hot cocoa!” She cheered with a playful smile and a wink.

“When did we agree on cocoa?” Leon asked with a smile of his own.

“Best out of seven. I won! Loser buys hot cocoa." 

Leon gave a mock groan of annoyance and defeat, "Fine…”

____________

After cups of piping hot cocoa, and an hour or two of waiting, as well as keeping watch out of pure paranoia, their ride finally arrived. A silver car with partially blacked out windows rolled up in front of the airport entrance. A man, a bit taller than Leon, stepped out first, looking quite skeptical of them both. He merely made an odd sound that sounded like a grunt before nodding to the car, taking their bags for them. Sherry couldn’t help but notice that it had started raining pretty hard out here. 

“Not happy to see me, Buddy?” Leon asked with a mock pout, “I’m surprised you’re able to walk." 

"Chris Redfield and the BSAA hooked me up with a back brace and neurotransmitter for my back.” Buddy said, “Helps with traveling…you know, after you shot me." 

Leon opened the back door for Sherry, giving a shrug and a tilt of the head, "Well, it was either shoot you or allow the parasite to take hold and then I would have had to shoot you in the head." 

"True…” Buddy replied, looking at Sherry, “This is the girl, I presume?" 

"Yes, sir.” Leon nodded.

“I thought you said she was a little girl?" 

"She was when I found her and she was when we were taken.” Leon replied, “Sherry, this is Buddy. Buddy, this is Sherry.”

Sherry gave a nod and offered a hand for the man to shake, “Hi!" 

Buddy gave a small smile, shaking her hand in return, "Nice girl…how did you manage to get stuck with Leon?" 

Leon scoffed and rolled his eyes with a playfully smile, "Now…we gonna stand out here in the rain and chat or are we going to the safehouse?" 

"Whatever.” Buddy replied, “Get in. We have a long drive ahead of us.”

“Okay, Buddy.” Leon simply said before settling in the passenger seat. 

Sherry looked between them, unsure of the relationship between them. Leon had said that he and Mr. Kozachenko had been friends, but right now, they weren’t exactly the shining example of “Friendship Goals”. But judging by what Leon had told her of his misadventures whilst working for Umbrella…he was probably the closest thing Leon had to an ally that wouldn’t be seen as a threat nor would Buddy be on the Organization’s radar. 

Outside of whatever was going on with him and Claire’s brother. 

It had taken seemingly hours, but they finally made it into the small village Buddy now lived…and most likely the area closest to their rendezvous point. They pulled up to a sort of lodge or a mountain house, she couldn’t exactly tell. Either way, this must be where they were to stay until Chris would arrive to extract them. Leon and Buddy began unpacking the bags, Buddy handing Sherry a set of keys and handing Leon another. Sherry looked between them, Buddy saying that there was enough space for them to stay in separate rooms. 

“Don’t worry,” Leon said, looking at the numbers on the keytags, making their way inside and up the stairs to where they would be lodging, “We’ll be either right next door or across the hall. I won’t let anything happen to you. Not again.” 

Sherry gave him a smile, hugging the brunette, “I know. You always keep your promises.” 

Leon returned the gesture, giving her a hug and a small smile. He handed her her bags as she unlocked her door, waiting until she was able to settle inside. Once her door was closed and locked, Leon turned to his own door and bags. Buddy explained that the television had a couple of channels, the shower had running water and a phone, but it was mostly for room service. They didn’t have the mini fridges or a kitchen, but if they wanted food, there was a cafe downstairs and a diner across the street. Leon looked to Buddy and thanked him for this favor and his help. 

“Don’t mention it, American.” Buddy replied with a smile and a wink, going downstairs to talk to Marina and a couple of locals. 

Leon gave a small chuckle as he unlocked his own door. He gently nudged it open and grabbed his bags, heading inside. There wasn’t much to the room, but he really didn’t need much. A bed, a dresser with a television on top of it, a working bathroom, and whatever else one would need for staying under the radar until the BSAA showed up…which wouldn’t be for a couple days, according to what Buddy said in the car. 

On the bright side, Sherry was safe, Buddy was safe, and he was safe. Chris was also in town, but he was currently at the Embassy across town finalizing their arrangements. 

After unpacking his own belongings, and kicking off his boots and shrugging off his jacket, Leon took a moment to sit down on his bed and decided to just relax and…think about everything. As he laid back onto the pillows and stared up at the white tiled ceiling, he thought about everything he and Sherry had been through. 

Thirteen years…it had taken thirteen years of planning in order to get out from under Wesker and his organization’s thumb. Thirteen years to finally get Sherry out of there and hopefully, move her out and into a better life. He had been working behind Wesker’s back for years, sneakily working with Chris and playing double agent in order to get any semblance of freedom. It had been a lot easier once Chris had killed the man in Africa. 

He felt a fluttering feeling in his chest and stomach, almost as if there were butterflies tickling his insides, a giddy feeling washing over him. Leon felt like he was going to either cry or laugh…or maybe both. He was just so happy, still in disbelief that this all was happening. They were going to have a happy ending…like the kind he used to read from those Fairy Tales Sherry and he used to read at night. 

Leon let out a sigh of relief as he curled up on the bed, glancing at the alarm clock on his bedside table. He had some time before Chris got here and before them and Sherry were going to eat dinner. Maybe he could squeeze in a quick snooze. He could finally relax…and maybe finally be able to just…nap in peace. And he did…and it was the most peaceful and relaxing naps of his life.  

About an hour later, there was knocking on his door, rousing the brunette from sleep. The knocking continued, Leon getting up out of the bed and rubbing at his eyes, telling the person that he was coming and to hold their horses. He unlocked the locks and opened the door, eyes focusing as he gave the newcomer a lazy smile. 

“You get all dressed up for me, Handsome?” Leon asked in a sultry purr, wrapping his arms around Chris’s neck. 

Chris chuckled, standing before the younger in yet another suit, but this one was different from the one Leon had “soiled” a couple of months ago. This one was more like a military suit complete with badges that showed Chris’s accomplishments in the field. The bigger man wrapped his arms around Leon’s waist, meeting him halfway for a sweet, chaste kiss. 

“I did actually.” Chris said with a smile, walking Leon backward before kicking the door shut with his foot, “I could have changed but…I thought this appropriate for the occasion.” 

Leon leaned up and kissed him again, pulling him into a tight embrace, burying his face into the crook of Chris’s neck, “I missed you…so fucking much.” 

“I know.” Chris replied, resting his head on the younger’s shoulder, “I missed you too…but I kept my promise. You and Sherry are free now.” 

Leon pulled away, looking up into Chris’s eyes with a relieved smile, giving a nod as he felt tears in his eyes, threatening to fall at any moment. Chris peppered feather light kisses all over Leon’s cheeks, forehead and the bridge of his nose before giving one more kiss to his lips. He sat down with Leon, wanting to know how his and Sherry’s ride was and if Buddy was treating them alright. Leon chuckled, saying that Buddy had treated them kindly and Sherry was relieved to see the world outside of the facilities and the vast nothingness that surrounded the grounds. 

“She’s most excited to see Claire again.” Leon admitted, “Though, of course she’ll be ecstatic to see you too.” 

Chris chuckled, “Well, yeah, she met Sherry first. Claire can’t wait to see her again. Both of you actually. She had been worried sick about you two and is already making space in her house for Sherry. She was helping me make room for you at my house too.” 

Leon chuckled, Chris wiping away his tears for him, “This is still all so surreal…after all this time…” 

“I know.” Chris said with a nod, kissing his cheek again, “Just a couple more days, and we’ll be home free.” 

Leon looked up at him, a smile on his lips, “I love you, you know that, right? I never got to tell you…but I always wanted to. Even after all those times I had to leave, I never stopped or doubted that.” 

“I love you too, Leon.” Chris smiled, hugging him close, “And I won’t let you go ever again.”

(Can’t get too much into it. I might accidentally slip and put in spoilers!) 

#send me asks #Chreon #Kennfield #ChrisxLeon #LeonxChris #Leon S. Kennedy #Sherry Birkin #Alexander Kozachenko #Chris Redfield #upcoming ao3fic #Umbrella Leon AU

[keepin-it-crispy]

Hey @magic-and-moonlit-wings, I was your secret santa! You asked for something where Draal survives Merlin’s tomb, so I hope this works! I’ll gift it on AO3 too if that’s okay. Merry Christmas!! 

     Draal gasped, struggling to raise his head. The cut across his stomach screamed in pain as he shifted, trying to catch sight of the Trollhunter. He couldn’t let him out of his sight. He had promised to keep him safe. Draal finally saw Jim, curled up a few feet away, shivering and gasping as he tried to recover from his fight with Gunmar. 

     Something moved in the corner of Draal’s eye. Angor Rot snarled as he climbed on top of the crystal and staggering to his feet. Draal watched in abject horror as Angor raised his dagger over Jim. Jim looked up at Angor, eyes widening with fear.

     Fueled by rage, Draal pushed himself to his feet and lunged at Angor with a roar. He tackled him to the ground, restraining him. The dagger fell out of Angor’s hand, falling into the abyss below. Angor snarled, trying in vain to get out of Draal’s vice grip. 

     “No one. Hurts. My friend!” Draal roared. He climbed to his feet, holding tight to a struggling Angor. Draal made his way to the edge of the crystal and heaved Angor off the side. He breathed heavily as he watched the assassin fall to his death.

     “Draal? You okay?”

     Draal took a deep, steadying breath, turning to face Jim. “I’m okay. You don’t have to worry about the assassin anymore.” Draal said, nodding towards the edge of the crystal.

     A grin slowly spread across Jim’s face. He opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by a loud crack. The crystal platform listed, throwing Jim off his feet. Draal tucked and rolled, grabbing Jim just before he fell off the side. He roared, leaping from the crystal as it fell and began scaling the walls. 

     “Master Jim! Draal!” Blinky’s voice echoed through the cavern. Draal turned in the direction of his voice and continued climbing.

     Blinky, ARRRGH!!!, Toby, and Claire were waiting for them at the top of the cavern. The other two fleshbags were huddled under ARRRGH!!!’s large body, which shielded them from the crystals raining down on their heads. Draal pushed Jim towards his human friends and turned to Blinky.

     “What is the plan?” Draal shouted. “This place is coming down!”

     “The exit is blocked!” Blinky shouted back. “We can’t get out! We must seek shelter!”

     Draal nodded, glancing around the cavern. Dust and grit fell from the ceiling, obscuring his vision. He finally spotted an opening a few feet away, just large enough for them all to fit through. 

     “Come on!” Draal shouted, pointing towards the tunnel. He ushered everyone down the tunnel, pulling up the rear as another quake shook the cavern.

     The farther they traveled, the less the walls shook. Dust and rubble slowly ceased to fall from the ceiling. The group trudged on, climbing over crystals and sidestepping boulders as they made their way deeper into the tomb.

     A ripple of unease traveled through the group as the tunnel began to widen, opening up into a medium sized cave. A small shaft of light illuminated a low stone altar standing in the center of the room. Draal frowned, noting the mess of shining cobwebs that obscured an object laying atop it. 

    Jim looked between his amulet and the lump on the table. He took a hesitant step forward, holding his amulet out in front of him as if it was drawing him forward. Draal gasped as wispy blue balls of light emerged from the amulet, disappearing into the altar.  

     He took a step forward, trying to see what Jim was ogling at. The thing on the altar burst to life with a gasp, immediately falling into a coughing fit. Jim yelped, falling back from the figure.

     “Merlin?” Blinky whispered. The man on the altar turned to stare at him.

     “What’s it to you?” He croaked, letting out another cough. 

     “You’re Merlin?” Jim asked, his eyes wide. The old man nodded.

     “But, how are you alive?” Claire asked.  “I mean, you disappeared centuries ago. Every book I’ve ever read says you left to die.”

     “Do I look dead to you?” Merlin raised an eyebrow, coming closer to inspect the group. “Now, which one of you is the Trollhunter?”

     Jim tentatively raised his hand. “That would be me.

     “Ah, splendid. Now, use the amulet’s magic and get us out of here.”

     “Uh,” Jim said. “That might be a problem.” He reached into his pocket, pulling out the smashed pieces of the amulet. Draal gasped.

     “Oh, that is a problem.” Merlin said, leaning over to inspect the pieces.

     “How did this happen?” Draal asked.

     “I had to smash it.” Jim confessed. “We needed the blue stone inside to lead us here.” 

     “You did what needed to be done.” Draal nodded. 

     “Can’t Merlin fix it?” Toby spoke up. He glanced towards the aged wizard. “He did make it, right?”

     “Of course I can fix it.” Merlin scoffed. “It is my creation.”

     Draal snarled. “You would do good to tone down you pride, wizard.”

     “And who are you?” Merlin sneered.

     “I am Draal the Deadly.” Draal stood over the wizard, glaring down at him. “Son of your previous Trollhunter.”

     “Oh, him.” Merlin dismissed Draal with a wave of his hand. “He was a good hunter, but a bit rash. If he hadn’t gone out to face Bular twenty minutes before sunrise, he might still be alive today.”

     Draal fumed, his fist clenching by his side. Melin turned back to face Jim, holding his hand out for the amulet pieces. Before Jim could hand it them to him, Draal struck, punching Merlin in the face. The old wizard was flung back against the cave wall. 

     Everyone cried out is surprise, rushing to Merlins side. Draal stood back, laughing as the old wizard struggled to rise to his feet.

     “What was that for?” Merlin asked. He seemed rather calm for someone who’d just been punched in the face.

     “Do not speak about my father like that.” Draal growled. 

     “Like what? I was merely speaking the truth.” Merlin said.

     Draal took a step towards him, raising his fist again. Jim jumped in front of him, holding him back.

     “We need him to fix the amulet.” Jim said, looking pleadingly at Draal. “Can you beat him up later? So we can get out of here?”

     Draal huffed, crossing his arms. “Fine.”

     Jim patted his shoulder, giving him a small smile before walking back over to Merlin. He held out the broken pieces of the amulet.

     “Please, can you fix it?” Jim said as damp breeze blew through the cavern.

     “What was that?” Toby asked. ARRRGH!!! raised his head, sniffing at the air.

     “Moisture. Water coming.” He said. 

     “The flood gates must have burst with the tombs collapse!” Blinky exclaimed.

     “The water could rush in any minute!” Claire shouted. 

     “Cover the entrance!” Draal picked up a large boulder, throwing it into the entryway. ARRRGH!!! and Blinky followed suit, piling the largest rocks they could find into the entrance. Toby and Claire filled the smaller gaps with small rocks. Merlin spread the amulets pieces over the altar and began the reassembly.

     “Hurry!” Draal shouted, the sound of rushing water growing closer as the seconds passed.

     “I’m working as fast as I can.” Merlin said. Draal could practically hear his eye roll in his voice. “It’s been centuries.”

     “Work faster!”

     Water began to trickle through the cracks in the rocks. Everyone backed away from the make shift wall, moving to the back corner of the cave. ARRRGH!!! pulled Toby and Claire under him and faced his back towards the door. Blinky held on to ARRRGH!!!’s arm, hoping the bigger troll would keep him from getting washed away. Draal stood in front of all of them, keeping watch on the door. Water was already beginning to pool on the floor, and the worst had yet to hit.

     “Got it!” Merlin exclaimed, holding up the newly constructed amulet. Jim snatched it out of his hand.

     “What do I do? How does this get us out of this?” Jim fidgeted with the amulet, glancing between Merlin, the rocked in doorway, and Draal.

     Merlin shrugged. “You’re the Trollhunter. You alone can unlock its true potential.”

     A rumble shook the cave as the sound of water grew impossibly loud. Jim glanced back at Draal.

     “Get behind me!” Jim shouted. “Get everyone behind me!”

     Draal nodded. He rapped on ARRRGH!!!’s back, pointing to Jim. ARRRGH!!! nodded in understanding. He picked up Toby and Claire, lumbering over to stand behind Jim, who had turned to face the entrance. Blinky followed, cowering slightly behind Draal.

     Jim held up the amulet. “For the glory of…” He glanced at Merlin. “Well, you, Daylight is mine to command!” Blue smoke obscured Jim from sight as the armor wrapped itself around his body. 

     When the smoke cleared, Jim held Daylight out in front of him. The cavern shook as the water blasted from the doorway. Jim raised Daylight above his head, bringing it down just as the water reached them. Draal gasped as the water parted around them, creating a safe pocket just large enough for them all to fit. Draal heard Blinky yelp as the water came together just behind him. 

     The water ceased several minutes later. Draal looked up, seeing the starry sky through a newly broken section of the cave. His companions whooped, jumping for joy at the sight of the outside world.

     Draal turned to Jim, a grin on his face. The grin fell as he noticed Jim was on his knees, slumped over. Draal put a hand on his shoulder.

     “Are you okay?” 

     Jim glanced up, a tired smile on his lips. “I’m fine. It just... took a lot out of me, you know?”

     Draal nodded, pulling Jim to his feet. He helping him over to the caves new exit. Draal took a deep breath of fresh air. “You saved us once again, Trollhunter.”

     Jim chuckled. “Yeah, I guess, but it was close this time. We could have lost someone.” Jim shuddered a bit at the thought.

     “We could have, but we didn’t.” Draal said. He clapped Jim on the back. “Come on, let’s join the others. It’s time to go home.”

#toasecretsanta2019 #magic-and-moonlit-wings #trollhunters #fanfiction #Draal #Jim lake jr #Merry Christmas!

[sprnklersplashes]

not beyond repair (15/?)

AO3

Seven months earlier.

JD bites on his nail, like the action is going to stop the seemingly bottomless pit that’s forming in his stomach. He scoffs at himself, hidden from view in the backseat. He’s being stupid. It’s just another foster home. Just another foster home which he can handle, and apparently, can handle him this time around. Handle him and all his baggage.

Except it’s not just another foster home. It’s another foster home in Sherwood, Ohio. The last place he saw his dad. The last place he had a real home… he guesses. He doesn’t go as far as saying a real family because the only thing that bonded him and his father together was the blood in their veins. DNA, numbers and letters that mean nothing to him and never did. But still. The car drives past his-their-old house and he can’t help but shrink down in his seat. In the front yard, he sees a little girl with pigtails trying and failing to make a tricycle move forwards, her mom hanging sheets out on the line. Not a care in the world. When that kid goes to bed, her mom’s probably going to be tucking her in and reading her bedtime stories and telling her she loves her. They’re the antithesis of what was there before them.

If those walls could talk, what would they say? The story of a little kid making dinner for his dad and a fridge with more booze than actual food in it. For a moment, he feels like he’s there, back in the kitchen, standing on a chair to reach the stove, money he’s earned sitting on the counter. He gasps before he can stop himself and tears his eyes away from the window, blocking it out. He imagines the past behind him, dissolving into the exhaust fumes, and it helps. Sort of.

“Are you okay, Jason?” He nods weakly, mumbling a half-response. His social worker nods in the front seat, but she’s unconvinced, as per usual. He can bullshit foster moms and owners of group homes and other nosy/concerned kids, but not her. Never her.

There were endless arguments about sending him here. Some with him in the room and some behind closed doors with him pressing his ear to the wall. He even did that trick with an empty glass. The same phrases kept coming up and going around, like those little toy trains the kids in his home played with, endlessly circling around the same tracks. “His father” “an unhealthy environment” “bring back memories” “he’s made a lot of progress”. He could rhyme them off the same way he could rhyme off his favourite poetry.

But then his social worker Aimee piped up, calm as the morning sea “well, Jason has told me he enjoyed Sherwood”. And behind the door, JD had pumped his fist in victory. “He said he had even made his friends there. Maybe going back to a familiar setting will be good for him.”

And that’s the other thing. Sherwood, Ohio isn’t just where he had last seen his father… it was where he had last seen Miss Veronica Sawyer. The girl who had kissed him in the playground and held him tightly until he had to leave. His first real friend. Maybe more than that. They never really got to dinner and movies.

He had been looking around since they passed the beaten up ‘Welcome to Sherwood’ sign, as if she was going to pop up the moment he crossed the town line. When they stop at a traffic light, he sneaks a glance at the car beside them, wondering if maybe he’ll see that wild mane of dark hair, a denim jacket swung over a floral dress the way only she could pull off. Maybe he’d hear her laugh, loud and carefree, and he’d-

He’d what exactly? Run up to her and shout “surprise, it’s me?” Or maybe something a little more charming. Ask her if she had missed him. Would she have missed him? He got that letter she sent him all that time ago. Slept with it under his pillow. Kept it folded carefully in his jacket pocket, and then between the pages of his book, read it until the ink burned onto the backs of his eyelids. But maybe she didn’t feel the same. Maybe she read his reply and tossed it aside, went back to her normal life of sleepovers and homecooked meals and geography projects.

The thought terrifies him.

Still, he’s due to start (restart) at Westerberg next week. Maybe he’ll get his answer then.

They pull up outside of a small house, red brick and lace curtains, silver Ford parked in the driveway. Potted plants in front of the blue front door and a sloped roof. It looks exactly like its pictures, he guesses. Nothing special. It’s a lot smaller than what he’s used to, but he was told to expect that. No other kids in here, just him. He’s not sure how he feels about that. He supposes he’s grateful for the privacy and tranquillity, but he’s grown used to having kids of all ages running around at his feet and hiding under the table and jumping on his back as he tries to do homework. It’ sort of became comforting to him. And well…. He never disliked having them hang around and ask about his books or be asked to fix a TV or glue a Barbie back together.

“Here we are,” Aimee says.

“Home sweet home,” he replies, swinging his backpack onto his shoulder and getting out of the car. There’s a chill in the air that penetrates through his coat and hits deep down in his gut as he gets his other bag out of the trunk. His entire life is in these two bags and not for the first time, he feels how sadly light they are.

He bites on the inside of his cheek as he and Aimee walk up to the door, skirting past the patch of grass that’s growing slightly wild in front of the house. He would say he doesn’t know why he’s so nervous but let’s be real-of course he does. Who wouldn’t be? He’s done this once before and thought maybe this time would be easier. Maybe this time it would be easier to stand on someone’s doorstep and silently beg them to like him.

He was wrong. Somehow it’s more terrifying, despite him having overheard Aimee tell people that this woman-Claire-has experience with kids like him. He takes her word for it, having only spoken to Claire on the phone, once, for her to tell him how happy she is to have him. He doesn’t know if all that makes him less relaxed or more.

“Hi there.” He was so lost in himself he didn’t even notice the door opening. He’s not sure what he imagined, but she’s small, messy brown hair back in a half-braid and glasses perched on top of her head, pink sweater slightly too big for her, hanging over her floral print jeans. Her looks match her voice, he thinks. He guesses that greeting was directed at Aimee too, but he can’t know for sure, because all her attention is on him. The soft way in which her mouth turns up into a smile is painfully comforting to him, the open sincerity in her eyes scares him and almost draws him in. He doesn’t want to get too secure here. Comfortable yes, but not secure. Miss it when he leaves, but so much that it hurts.

“Hey,” he says after a while, realising he hasn’t spoken.

“Nice to meet you, Jason,” she says, holding out her hand. “Officially.”

“Thanks,” he says, shaking her hand. “You too.”

She steps back, opening the door a little more, the sun shining on wooden floors and white-painted walls, and lets him come in. He almost feels too big for this place. Like he’ll move in the wrong direction and snap something in half.

“I’ll show you your room,” Claire tells him warmly. There’s something about her gentle voice and seemingly real smile that make his stomach flip. Something that makes him either want to run out of this house and never stop or follow her up the stairs. He picks the latter.

She doesn’t do anything when she opens the door. Every other place he’s been in open it dramatically, flourishing arms, one even did a “ta-da!”, like they were showing him the grand ballroom on the Titanic. Claire simply props the door open with the same smile she’s had since they met and leans against it. Maybe she knows he’s a little too old for those kind of theatrics. The silence leaves him to take in the tidied bed and empty shelves, the spotless rug on the floor and TV set up in the corner.

“I get a TV?” he asks, a laugh lining the edge of his voice.

“One of the perks of being the only kid here,” she replies, folding her arms and shrugging. “Got it for one of my first placements. It’s a little old, but it’s in colour at least.” With his back to her, he smiles. He may not use it that much, but he feels like there’s some deep part of him that’s just glad it’s there. Like he’s high-fiving his little twelve year old self. “I know you’re used to group homes. Think you’ll cope well here?”

“Well there’s no one to steal my food or draw in my books,” he says flatly, making Claire chuckle. “I’ll be fine here.”

“Good. Cool. Also you’re set to start at school next week.”

“Westerberg High,” he says, toying with the edge of his coat. He burrows into it out of habit. Like if she sees more trench coat than person, she won’t see what’s going on inside.

“You know… I have talked it over with Aimee,” Claire begins. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees her picking at her nails. “If you want, you can go somewhere else.”

“You and I both know there’s no other schools in this town,” he sighs, sitting down on the bed, half-facing her. “Except for that Catholic school and I’ll be damned if I….” His voice trails off when he catches sight of her. Her mouth is still turned up into a smile, but it doesn’t look real anymore, like someone took a sticker and put it on her face. She holds her wrist tightly, twisting it in her hand. He’d been around enough to recognise a nervous habit when he sees one and wishes he could stuff the stupid shit he said back inside of him. He can’t though, so he clears his throat and offers her what he hopes is a friendly grin. “I’ll be fine there, really.” He shrugs. “And maybe it’s fate. You know if I’d have stayed here with my dad, I’d have ended up at Westerberg anyway.”

An unspoken ‘yeah right’ hangs in the air. They both know if he had stayed with his dad, he’d have been out of Sherwood in three months, max. As long as it took for his dad to find a new job somewhere else. He suppresses a sigh, the wave of self-pity looming over him and threatening to crash. He guessed he was always going to leave Sherwood, leave Westerberg, leave Veronica. He just left quicker than he expected. At least this time around, he’s got a written guarantee that he’s here until he graduates high school. And three verbal ones, just to make sure.

“I’ll let you unpack,” Claire says, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “Get settled in. I have some stuff to talk about with Aimee anyway. T’s to cross, I’s to dot.” He nods, knowing what she means, of course. She’s not the type to say ‘okay well I’m off downstairs to talk about your many, many problems and what therapist you’re going to and what medications you need and what you get like on the bad days’. He flinches at an old memory, of him creeping downstairs and listening behind a kitchen door to a woman lamenting on the phone that she couldn’t cope with him. At least his experience of foster care went up from there.

“Cool,” he says.

“And I was thinking for dinner… do you like risotto?” she asks. “It’s an old family recipe. I only wheel it out on special occasions.”

So now he’s special?

He tries not to smile too much at that.

“That’d be great, thanks.”

Claire heads downstairs, leaving the door slightly open, exposing a sliver of the white walls of the hallway. He sets about putting his clothes on hangers, arranging his books on the shelf. Outside, the September sun turns lawns and sidewalks golden, playing a trick on him, telling him it’s still summer. He leans against the glass, watching mums and dads and kids and teenagers walking and running. He finds himself looking for messy brown hair and scolds himself for being creepy. Instead he looks beyond his new neighbours, his eyes drawn to the building looming in the distance. Westerberg High. Building a semi-decent home life, that’s one thing. He’s gotten kind of okay at that. All he really needs is the right people and Claire hasn’t set off any warning bells so far. But school… Veronica aside, building a good school life is another thing. So far his grades have ranged from below average to fair and his social life from decent to dismal. His breath fogs up the glass, spreading across until the school is nothing but a smudge in the distance.

“Okay, Ohio,” he says, shrugging off his coat and tossing it on the bed. “Let’s make it a good one this time.”

                                                                                               *****

Present Day

He gets better.

It takes time. Some days are better than others. Some days he sits and laughs and makes jokes and throws grapes into MacNamara’s open mouth. Some days he passes Veronica little notes during study hall, compliments written in tiny scribbles with a badly drawn cartoon.  Some days he spins her under his arm as they walk home together. And some days… some days he walks slowly and takes deep breaths before going into the cafeteria. Some days he holds her hand that much tighter and buries his face in her shoulder when they hug.

But she feels him coming back to her, the bad days getting fewer and further between.

He apologises to her, whispering ‘I’m sorry’ against her collarbone, and it tears at her heart every time. She kisses his head and tells him that it’s okay, that he’s forgiven, completely forgiven, and he will be in the future too. For the present she just holds him, playfully kissing his hair and nuzzling into his shoulder, smiling against him and watching the sun breaking through the grey clouds.

                                                                                               *****

When he comes out of his therapist’s office on Friday, Claire’s car is parked right outside, one of three on the street. Friday night, everyone else’s cars are in the drive, after long weeks at work or school or whatever. And she’s here instead, sitting in the front of her car with her sudoku book waiting for him, after driving all the way across town to pick him up.

“Hey, kid,” she greets brightly, marking her page with her pen and sliding it into the glove compartment.

“How many did you get?” he asks.

“Two by the time you got out,” she says proudly. “Next time maybe take a little longer in there and I can make it three in a row.”

He laughs, but it’s half hearted. He’s been in for longer than usual these past weeks, sessions sometimes running five or even ten minutes overtime and he’s just glad he’s the last one she sees before closing. Still, as time goes on, his mind gets brighter, and he’s sure they’ll be back to their regular, done-at-five-on-the-dot schedule.

He follows her into the house, swinging his backpack from his hand, toying with it like it’s a weight, while Claire makes inquiries about what he wants for dinner, telling him about some new curry recipe she stumbled upon that she’s been dying to try out.

Rather than giving a vague answer and running up to his room, JD leans on the table and discards his jacket, listening to her as she takes stuff out of the fridge and flips through a magazine. It wasn’t too long ago now when he was sitting here, his eyes vacant, his blood cold, with her sitting opposite him, pushing a plate of food in front of him and rubbing his back while he let out everything, a million thoughts and memories rushing out of his mouth and painting the room red with his anger, grey with his grief. And she had stood there and held him in the midst of that hurricane. She was there until he dragged his ass back up to bed and even after that.

He thinks he should know by now that she gets paid for this, and she’s a nice enough person to do it for anyone else, but there’s a familiarity that’s both soothing and scary, one that tugs on old memories and brings them into the light without making them hurt. There’s a feeling that comes along with her, with this house that almost makes him feel like he’s meant to be here. That almost takes the foster out and leaves the word ‘home’.

“Hey, Claire?” The words battle their way from his mind to his lips, pushing past the last defences, the ones that still think he’s better off on his own. He guesses they’ve been crumbling for a while now anyway. He must have sounded like he feels, because Claire stops dead in her tracks and turns to him, concern shining in her brown eyes, half-hidden behind a smile. He coughs as if that could clear the butterflies in his stomach, his hand curled into a tight fist.

“Thank you,” he manages. “For taking care of me. When I was… you know…” He taps his nails on the table, searching for words to describe something he doesn’t even know. “Thanks.”

“Aw, kid.” She comes over to his side, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and squeezing softly, resting her head on his shoulder. “You don’t need to thank me, Jason.”

“I know I can’t have been easy to deal with,” he says quietly, guilt causing his voice to crack. He wraps his hand around her arm and doesn’t let go.

“Don’t,” she tells him sternly, her fingers stroking in a steady rhythm against his shoulder. “Don’t talk like that, kid. You were just having a rough time. You just needed a bit of help, that’s all.” He nods while Claire runs her hand up and down his arm. Just needed help. “Besides, you’re not that hard. Not for me, kid.”

“Oh stop,” he sighs, half-laughing, fighting back the rush he feels flowing through him, colouring his cheeks a faint crimson. He still hears past ghost’s words ringing in his ears and trying to slap down any good feeling he can have, but they’re weak, weaker than they’ve been before.

“I mean it,” she replies, stroking his hair. Her weight lifts off him as she steps back and JD finds himself oddly empty when she does. “Now come on. You want lamb or chicken in this curry?”

“Whatever you’re having,” he says, sliding off the chair and hoisting his bag on his shoulder.

“Well I need your seal of approval if I’m going with the lamb,” she warns. “Because I’m not having you complain to me that you don’t like it once I make it.”

“Have you ever known me to complain?” he asks.

“You want an answer?” she retorts. Warm laughter escapes from both of them.

“Lamb’s fine, Claire,” he assures her. “I’m going to go start my homework.” She grins, shaking her head fondly, not enough to make it obvious but enough to make him notice. He guesses she thought he was halfway up the stairs by now. “What?”

“Nothing,” she says. She’s not built for lying. “Just… really excited about this curry.”

“Okay…” he replies, making a swift ‘I’m watching you’ gesture, to which she replies with a lazy, two fingered salute.

He swings around the doorframe and heads up the stairs two at a time, the books and pencils in his bag tapping out a mismatched tune. Despite what he told Claire, he’s not entirely sure what-if any-he’s going to get done tonight. March has brought a steady tide of deadlines and tests and homework, and not to brag, but also a steady tide of As and Bs for him. He attributes them to Veronica, but she shakes her head, telling him that he’s the one with the brains. She’s just there to push him. And sometimes he takes a minute to congratulate himself, to remember that Veronica has had less cause to push.

He flips open a copy of The Great Gatsby he got in a thrift store last year, covered in highlighter pen and biro. In the quiet of his bedroom, he hears Claire at the stove, the news on the radio as she cooks, and smiles to himself before he even realises why.

He could have ended up with anyone, he knows that. Anyone in quite a few states, even with all of his issues. There’s fewer than he’d like, but group homes for “troubled teens” and foster parents who think they’re up to the challenge exist, only to hold him at arm’s length or send him back to the group home with the first two weeks. Who aren’t willing to drive an hour to get your to a therapist or to hold you when your mind is falling apart or make sure you have enough meds to get you through the month. And the more he thinks about it, he guesses he’s really, really lucky he ended up with Claire.

                                                                                               *****

Veronica won’t, and has never, claimed that she’s experienced in relationships. Her experiences before JD were Simon Andrews kissing her on the cheek at Ram’s tenth birthday party and reading old romance novels from the more neglected parts of the library. And with that inexperience, she vaguely wonders if there’s meant to come a point where her boyfriend kisses her and she doesn’t feel a thrill running down her spine.

If there is, she’s yet to reach it. Because right now, JD is on top of her and the backboard of her bed is behind her and his lips are on her neck and she feels the same kind of breathlessly giddy as she did the night she climbed into his window. She grabs his shoulders as his lips meet hers, their legs tangling and kicking notes and textbooks off her bed. Her hands trail down his body, leaving phantom marks on his back.

She hopes she never loses this feeling because holy hell, does she love it.

“You know, I thought you brought me over here to study,” he teases breathlessly.

“I did,” she replies, poking his cheek. “Not my fault you distracted me.” He laughs again, kissing her lips and her neck and her cheek. While he’s distracted, she sees her chance, wrapping her arm around his waist and pushing him over, grateful for the size of her bed giving him a comfortable landing, even if it does shake and creak against her floor, the headboard knocking against the wall. It’s messy; he lands on his side and traps her arm underneath him and she’s almost too busy laughing at his expression to remember that the whole point was to get on top of him in the first place.

“Jerk,” he says playfully, tapping her nose.

“Oh is that what I am?” she asks, bending to kiss him, deep enough to leave him wanting a little more. “Am I still one now?”

“Um… a litt-no,” he replies, shaking his head, his charm deserting him, leaving him helpless and bewildered. “No you are not.”

She kisses him again, one arm around him, the other pressed against his chest. She’s not going to straight-up have sex on a school night, least of all in her own house with her parents downstairs, but she is up for something halfway there. She presses a kiss to his jaw and buries her hand in his hair, tilting her head to make it a little more-

“Veronica!”

She flies off the bed, landing in a heap on the floor. In the split second between her mom knocking and the door opening, she does what she can only assume is an Olympic level stunt to get to her desk. The door opens to her mom holding a green plastic tray of food and Veronica would groan, if she wasn’t still trying to catch her breath.

“Did someone fall?” she asks. JD- who thankfully had the sense to sit up and grab the nearest thing to him, her French textbook-shakes his head, the very picture of innocence.

“Um, no,” Veronica says, avoiding her mom’s knowing gaze. “I-uh-my bag fell off the bed.”

“Uh-huh,” her mom replies, utterly unconvinced. Veronica waits with crossed fingers, hoping her mom is too innocent (or too oblivious) to catch onto them. “Well, remember what we said, when company’s over the bedroom door stays open.”

“You know, Mrs Sawyer, that is exactly what I have been telling her,” JD replies, his voice at least half an octave higher, gesturing with the pen in his hand before burying himself back in the textbook of the class doesn’t even take.

The freaking audacity. And he just smiles, butter wouldn’t melt expression on his face and a knowing glint in his eye.

Little shit.

“Well I’m sure you’ve been given the same speech by your-your foster parent, JD,” she tells him.

‘You are unbelievable,’ Veronica mouths at him over her mom’s back.

“I just came up to bring you kids a little snack,” her mom says, placing the tray carefully on Veronica’s desk. “I know you’re working hard up here.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Veronica says, making a show of looking through notes.

“You two need anything else?”

“Nope, we’re fine,” she says, shooting JD an apologetic look while half-hiding behind her hair. She waits with a sharp impatience before her mom takes the hint and leaves, the door staying wide open behind her.

“Oh my god,” she grumbles, pushing herself up from her chair and closing the door as much as she can get away with. “Sorry, J.”

“Sorry for what?” he asks. “Is it selfishly hoarding the snacks on your desk so your poor boyfriend can’t get at them?”

“Are your legs broken?” she asks. Still, she picks up the plate and brings it over to the bed, motioning for him to scoot over before she sits down. Wholemeal crackers, some with smushed avocado and salmon, some with pate. It’s better than when the Heathers were over and she made them little finger sandwiches, cut into triangles and everything. Veronica had never wanted to die more than she did in that moment.

“Hey.” JD pokes her in the cheek, pulling an exaggerated pout that gets a laugh out of her. “Why are you Miss Frowny Face? Don’t be Miss Frowny Face. Be Miss Smiley Face.”

“Okay how much sugar have you had today?” she asks. JD raises an eyebrow playfully, and she gives in with a sigh that screams ‘you’re lucky you’re cute’. She flops backwards, bouncing a little as she hits the bed. “She’s making me snacks. I’m 18 and she’s making me snacks and bringing them up to my room and reminding me to keep my door open.”

“And that’s… bad?” he asks.

“Yeah,” she groans. “I can make my own snacks if I need them. And I can do whatever I want in the privacy of my own bedroom.”

“Ew.”

“Oh shush, you know what I meant,” she scoffs, slapping his leg lightly. “Just… I don’t need her to bring me food.”

“Wow. I’ve heard a lot of shitty parent stories in my time, but this one truly takes the cake. Veronica Sawyer, the girl whose parents made her snacks. The fiends.” She feels a pang of guilt at what he said. Has she really been walking through her life that blindly? She doesn’t believe herself to be callous, she’s always thought of herself as a good person, even now. But now she feels like someone’s opened her window for the first time and she’s looking outside, looking out at the world of Big Bud Deans and kids who cook their own food, parents who raise voices and hands at their kids. She’s looking at it all, and she’s kicking herself.

She sighs and turns onto her side. Her face must tell everything, or maybe he can just read her like that, because he starts running a gentle hand through her hair, as though he can run the bad stuff out of her brain.

“Come on,” he says quietly. “Why does that make you feel bad?”

“It’s stupid,” she sighs. It’s also not something she wants to admit, not verbally. It’s something for her diary, where she can let her thoughts out and keep them hidden and at bay at the same time.

“No it’s not.”

“How do you know? I haven’t even told you.”

“Because it’s you, and you can’t be stupid if you tried.” She buries her grinning face in her covers. “So you want to talk about it?”

“Fine,” she replies, half-peeking out. She reaches out and strokes the fabric of his jeans, the rhythm building her nerve and dampening her shame with each stroke. She shouldn’t feel ashamed anyway, and she doesn’t want to be, not with him, but without a little hint of shame, would she be human? “She made me snacks when I was a kid. Like when me and Martha were having sleepovers. And that was fine. And then I got bigger and people had cooler parties that I didn’t go to and their moms didn’t bring them snacks and-” She lets out a long breath as JD pets her hair. “It’s not cool.”

“And you care about being cool?”

“Yeah.” She closes her eyes and remembers Heather Chandler’s kitchen dwarfing her, Heather Duke’s parents giving her full, unrestricted access to the kitchen, her flaming cheeks as Chandler had looked from her mom to the liverwurst on the plate with equal amounts of disgust.

“Well, look at that,” JD sighs. “Your mom brought you snacks, and yet I still think you’re cool.” She huffs a laugh as he pokes her stomach. “Especially since your mom makes amazing food.”

“I should count myself lucky that she makes me stuff at all,” she sighs, pushing herself up onto her elbows. “Right?”

“Just a little,” he admits, smiling softly at her. “Come here, love bug.” He pulls her against his body, too comfortable amongst her pillows to get up properly, settling her head below his chin and legs amongst his. She supposes there is one upside to her mom’s “open door” policy, and that’s that at least she can hear her coming as well. His knuckles run slowly up and down her back. “There are worse things in life than your mom making you snacks, Ronnie.”

“I know,” she murmurs into his chest. An ‘I’m sorry’ plays on her lips, but she holds it back, nervous of awkward conversations, and almost sure he already knows. He kisses her head, taking a moment to nuzzle into her hair. “J?”

“Mm-hm?”

“Never call me love bug again.” His laughter shakes the bed, and her, and if there was any awkwardness or tension left, it chases it away.

Mindful of her parents in the living room, she makes do with a quick, chaste kiss on the cheek when JD leaves.

“See you at school,” she tells him quietly.

“See you,” he agrees. His eyes move behind her, over Veronica’s shoulder, and he straightens up. “Goodnight, Mrs Sawyer.”

Veronica keeps her eyes on JD has he leaves, mainly because she knows the lecture she’ll get if she catches her in the eyeroll. She only turns around when he’s out the door and down the front path and her mom is back in the kitchen.

“So did you guys have fun?” she asks her once she steps into the kitchen and flicks on the kettle.

“Yeah, studying is so much fun,” she says flatly, running her hand through her hair and stretching her neck out. Her momentary study breaks only distract her so much, but the pressure still weighs down on her and presses against her back.

“Come on, sweetie, you know it’ll all be worth it when it’s over,” her mom says, running a hand up her back.

“So you keep saying,” Veronica sighs, running a hand over her face. She’s heard it said that the more you say something, the more you believe it. She’s wondering if there’s an inverse; the more you hear it said, the less you believe it.

“How’s JD finding Westerberg?” her mom asks, as though it’s October and he just rolled into town. Sometimes his presence is so natural Veronica finds it had to really believe that he ever left.

“Fine, Mom,” she replies.

“He’s still not planning on going to college?”

“Not as far as I know. I don’t think so. I don’t really ask him about it. Where’s the peanut butter?” Her mom hums behind her and doesn’t move when she turns around. She has to skirt around her just to get to the counter, trying not to notice the vacant look in her mom’s eyes, or the way she wrings her hands, or the question sitting on her almost-parted lips. When she’s doesn’t even flinch at the PB&J she’s making herself, that’s when Veronica begrudgingly gives into the ringing alarm bell in her head. “Mom? Still with me?”

“Fine,” she manages, giving her a toothy smile. “You’ve met his foster mom, haven’t you?”

“Yeah. She’s awesome.”

“And he’s happy with her?”

“Yeah. He really likes her.” Veronica straightens up against the counter, crossing her arms over her chest, right where the heavy weight is sitting. She curls her clammy hands into fists. “Mom what’s going on?”

“Why do you think something’s going on?” She crosses her arms too, but she’s not Veronica’s reflection. Her mother is on the defence, and Veronica’s on the offense.

“Because you’re acting… weird,” she answers. “You kind of do a lot whenever JD’s around.

“Don’t use that word,” her mom replies, so sharp that Veronica’s only hurt for a second before she realises how false it is. “Weird.”

“Well that’s what you’re being.” She can’t really work out if it’s a persistent curiosity or frustration at being lied to or genuine worry that’s causing her to push like this. “Why… why do you care so much about JD?”

“Am I allowed to worry about people? I’m a Mom, Ronnie. I can’t help it.”

You’re not his she thinks. Instead of saying it, she keeps her eyes locked on her mother with a laser focus, quietly demanding the truth from her, while she hides behind a titanium shield. Veronica’s hands wrap around her arms, realising she’s locked herself in a battle of wills with one of the people she never thought she’d fight with. She almost wishes she was back making them study snacks. Despite what her mom might think, she doesn’t like fighting with her. But she also doesn’t like her hiding things from her.

When mom bristles under her gaze, she’s not just smiling because she’s winning. She’s breaking because it’s almost over.

“You really want to know?” she asks. Veronica nods stiffly.

“Well…” Mother and daughter both snap, their battle stances collapsing. Veronica lets herself lean against the counter, but her guard doesn’t drop down. There’s still a simmering tension keeping her upright. “You remember back when you and JD were kids? When he lived here?” Veronica nods again. It seems that’s all she can do. “When you told me about him… how he made his own dinner… I got worried.”

Shit.

“Worried?” she echoes.

“Call it parent’s intuition,” she says wearily. “But what you told me rubbed me the wrong way. So I contacted the school. Asked what they knew about his family.”

“You did what?”

“Well I was right, wasn’t I?” she fires back. “The school, turns out, had the same concerns I did. So they contacted a social work team to investigate.” Veronica grabs the countertop as her legs start swaying. Cold sweat trickles down her back. “And then they found out-”

“I know the rest.”

A wave of nausea takes over her and makes her knees buckle as she sees everything set out before her. She tells her mom. Her mom tells the school. Her school tells social workers. And then JD… JD gets taken off his dad and goes through court and tossed around the system before ending up coming back to her.

All because she told her mom.

“Mom…” her voice trails off, unsure of what she’s even accusing her mother of. She doesn’t even know what she’s feeling, just knows there’s a pit in her stomach and a prickling heat on her cheek and a terrifying realisation.

“I’m going to have to tell him,” she says, more to herself than her mom. Her mom takes it anyway and grasps her hand gently.

“You don’t have to,” she assures her. “Why does he need to know?”

“Would you?” she retorts. “If you found out you wrecked Dad’s life, would you tell him?”

“You think you wrecked his life?” Her mom shakes her head and pushes her hair away from her pale face. “Veronica… was he even happy with his father?”

“I don’t think that matters,” she replies. She swallows past the lump in her throat and pushes herself off the counter, stumbling over her weak legs. “I still have to tell him.”

“Veronica?” She stops in the doorway, looking just over her shoulder at her mom’s anxious wide eyes and wringing hands, and that adds another layer of guilt to the wave she’s riding. Her mom tries to smile, but every attempt fails. “You’re not mad at me, are you?”

Is she? She feels like she should be.

“Depends if he is,” is her answer.

Dear diary,

She runs a hand over her face, the words on the pages almost blurring together after a near-sleepless night. She had a textbook open on the desk and a highlighter uncapped, but she can’t so much as lift it. Her mind is too frazzled to focus on the perfect tense. At least in study hall, she can hide her diary on her lap and people are either too busy or too tired to care.

I have to tell him. I know I do. He has a right to know what happened, how those people found out about his dad.

He knows I’m keeping something from him. And I feel like shit about it. He won’t tell me, but he’s doing all his comforting stuff- kissing my forehead and squeezing my hand and he even hugged me before homeroom. I must look worse than I thought.

I’m telling him. I told him I have to meet him after school. It’s the right thing, if nothing else.

I’m just… scared.

I’ve gotten used to loving him. I’ve gotten used to him maybe loving me. I don’t want to have to get used to him hating me.

I don’t think I could ever get used to that.

He beats her to their garden after school. He’s hunched over a book, his eyes looking at pages that his mind isn’t reading. She knows a pretence when she sees it. She hides behind the doorframe for a second, her heart hammering against her ribs. She thinks that there’s a good chance that all the waiting is going to hurt just as much, if not more, as him leaving her. That’s why she asked him to meet her before she could stop herself, why she’s pushing herself over next to him now. Not knowing is so much worse than knowing.

“Hey,” she greets him, wincing as the words scratch her dry throat.

“Hey,” he replies, looking up at her. He takes her hand and pulls her to sit, her forcing her knees to bend. When he brushes his fingers against her cheek, she pushes his hand away instead.

“Sorry,” she whispers. “I guess I’m a little nervous right now.”

“Ronnie-” His voice cracks. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay. Whatever it is, it’s okay. You know-” He shrugs. “As long as you’re not pregnant or anything.”

The concept is so bizarre and so far away that for a second, she actually allows herself to laugh.

“Wait you’re not pregnant right?” he asks, words tumbling out of his mouth in rapid succession.

“God, no, J, I’m not pregnant,” she sighs, the smile falling from her face as quickly as it had come. She looks down at the clasped hands in her lap, her cold fingers fidgeting and picking at each other. “I just… I found something out.”

“Okay. Hey.” He takes her hand, linking their fingers together, and brings it to his lips and kisses it. “I promise. Whatever it is, we’ll be okay.”

She sighs, letting go of his hand to stroke his face. She knows now what this is, this warm calm she feels around him, how settled she feels in his arms, the butterflies she feels when he kisses her, the way she can never seem to have enough of him. She’s in love. And it’s different from what she’d read before. It’s not Buttercup and Westley or Romeo and Juliet or Elizabeth and Darcy. It’s different and it’s better.

And it’s too good to lose.

“Can I ask you to do something?” she asks. “Try not to hate me?”

“Veronica,” he scoffs, like she’s said something offensive. “I could never.”

“Swear?”

“Swear.” He kisses the inside of her wrist, sealing their deal.

She opens her mouth, tears threatening to build in her eyes.  She wishes she was a worse person so she could keep this from him without a guilty conscience.

“JD… back when you came here the first time… remember when someone called social workers on your dad?”

“Of course I do.”

She takes in a deep breath. She’s looking back on everything they’ve been since the day he came into her homeroom, they day she said hi to him at the lunch table. When she had watched him punch the shit out of Kurt and Ram, when something unlocked in her chest for the first time. If she knew then what he’d become to her, would she have kept quiet? If she had known it would mean keeping him?

“That was my mom.”

“What… what was your mom?”

Don’t make me explain it she thinks. Getting words out is hard enough.

“My mom called the school. And the school called social services on your dad.”

She doesn’t look at him. She hears him though, hears the sharp intake of breath. She knows how tense his body probably is, judging by the way he’s gripping her hand tighter by the second. He’s either holding himself together or one second away from falling apart.

“How did she find out?” he asks.

“I told her. I told her when I got back from your house about you making your own food and that tipped her off and she called the school and- JD, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know until last night and I never meant for you to-”

He kisses her. He kisses her quickly and cups the back of her head, probably to stop her from falling off the bench in shock. She kisses him back, mostly in relief.

“What was that for?” she asks, heat rising in her cheek against his cold hand.

“Kind of to get you to stop babbling,” he teases.

“Remind me to babble more often,” she replies. “JD, I-”

“Don’t,” he whispers. He traces her jawline, pressing his thumb gently to the bottom of her chin. “Veronica, why would you be sorry?”

“Other than the fact that I kind of messed up your life?”

“A lot of people messed up my life,” he tells her. “You could never be one of them.”

“I got you put into foster care,” she reminds him. A small voice in the back of her mind asks her why she’s doing this after he’s just kissed her like that. She thinks she should be holding on tighter, not giving him reasons to go.

“You did,” he agrees. “And it was the best thing to ever happen to me. Look, some parts of foster care suck, but they suck a lot less than they did with my dad. I got happy. You’ve seen me with Claire. I’m happier with her than I ever could be with my dad.” She only realises she was crying when he wipes away the tear on her cheek. He smiles breathlessly at her, shaking his head slightly. “Please don’t ever blame yourself. Getting away from my dad was the best thing to ever happen to me.” He kisses her forehead. “One of them anyway.”

“You mean it?” she asks. Despite the question, she starts playing with his necklaces, her fingers brushing against his skin.

“Definitely,” he says firmly. His smile is wider than she can ever remember seeing it. “Come on. Let’s go home.”

She wraps her arm around his and nuzzles into his shoulder, unsure if she’s weak with relief or it’s just him. He wraps his arm around her shoulders and squeezes tightly, punctuating their walk home with gentle kisses and sweet nothings murmured into her ear.

Him leaving was the best thing for him, no one can deny that. And it worked out for the two of them in the end. The universe, or God, sent him back to her, so she figures she can’t complain, especially not if it meant he was safe, emotionally for physically. If she had known what she knows now, would she have still spilled the beans to her mom about JD’s dad? Absolutely she would have.

Even if she’ll always wonder what would have happened with them if he had stayed.

                                                                                               *****

Days turn into weeks after Veronica’s confession, and JD would say they return to normal, but the truth is that they don’t. They somehow become stronger, like something broke between them. They had never shied away from each other before, but JD swears he can feel a difference in the way they hold each other, the way she lays her head on his chest, even if he can’t quite explain it. Maybe it’s him knowing that she saved him. No, not saved him, there’s danger in language like that, but it’s something like that. Maybe it’s a change in her, in that beautiful mind of hers that he’ll never work out. But it’s wonderful, whatever it is and he won’t question it.  

It brings him closer every day to I love you and while that scares him, there’s something about the fear he actually likes.

“Hey, I’m home,” he announces, one Wednesday afternoon. He frowns, the lack of a TV or radio or phone conversation standing out starkly. “Claire?”

“In the kitchen. Jason can you come in here a second?” He frowns, and the idea of company being over is the first that comes to mind. Very quiet company. He checks himself in the hallway mirror for a second, pushing the dark curls away from his face before straightening up and heading to the kitchen. His first guess is an inspection, and while Claire has nothing to hide, these kinds of things have always given him the heebie-jeebies. Like when a security guard passes you in a store; you know you’ve done nothing wrong, and yet all you can think of is all the bad things you’ve done.

His guess was proven wrong though, since the kitchen is empty bar her, sitting on one of the chairs, back straight, glasses perched on her head and some forms on the table. She’s deliberately not chewing her nails, instead tapping them on the table and her lips rolled into a thin line. He’d probably prefer it if she was chewing them.

“What’s up?” he asks, approaching the table like it’s a ticking bomb. “Claire what’s up, are you-”

Then he sees it.

He sees the document sitting on the table. He sees the agency logo at the top. He sees his name at the top. He sees them and he puts them together, one by one, and the big picture is staring him directly in the face.

“You’re sending me away.”

“What?”

“You’re sending me away.”

He explodes. Things he hasn’t felt in a long, long time come rushing back and the strangest part is there’s a degree of comfort in them. There’s comfort in the rage and the terror, even in all its wild chaos as it tears at his throat and eyes and skin. Maybe there’s a part of him that’s used to it.

“You-you promised!” he screams. “You promised I’m here until graduation everyone promised me that! The first day I was here Aimee said to me, and she said to me before that, she told me I wasn’t leaving until I graduated!”

“I know, Jason, I’m sorry-”

He can’t breathe. His chest is too tight so that it can’t do anything but burn. His thoughts crash over him and drown him and leave him flailing helplessly, trying to grasp for a clear line, but everything moves too quickly and jumps too suddenly. He tries to remember everything he’s learned in therapy, not just now but since he first started going, but they’re half-formed and vague, the voices distorted and garbled. His head aches, fragmented pieces of his mind ricocheting like bullets until something becomes half-clear to him.

“I can change,” he says. His hands curl around the kitchen chair and cling tighter than he’s ever held onto anything. “Claire just tell me what I’m doing wrong and I’ll stop.”

“Jason, you’ve got it all wrong,” she says, her own voice shaking in desperation. Her fingers brush against his strained hand. “Jason… I’ve been getting the paperwork to adopt you.”

His knees his the ground after his hands fall from the chair. He only manages to throw one hand in front of him to stop himself. He takes in huge gulps of air, the tight chord that had been wound around his lungs cut now. All that’s left of the frantic racing of his mind seconds ago is a ringing in his ears.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you like that,” she says as she rubs his back.

“You’re doing what?” he asks breathlessly.

“Adopt you,” she replies.

The word adoption has sort of become synonymous with Santa Claus. A far off dream that’s fun to think about, something that little kids talk about with wide smiles and laughter in their voices he can’t bring himself to correct. Something that’s reserved for kids and kids only. He was never lied to and he appreciates it; his chances of being adopted have been slim since he entered the system and dwindled with each passing birthday. The closer he gets to aging out of the system, the less likely someone is to look at him and want him around. He can’t really argue with them-who would want a teenager instead of a cute tiny baby or squealing toddler they can have all the firsts with. All the excitement has gone out of him. Add all his baggage on top of that and he’s a turn-off for perspective adopters.

Well, he thought so anyway.

“Really?” is all he can ask.

“Yes, really,” Claire says, laughing. “I never wanted to do anything without your permission. I mean, I legally can’t. You’re 18 soon anyway.” She hesitates before wiping his face. “Sorry I scared you.”

“I’m sorry I freaked out,” he replies. He shrugs weakly. “I guess I just saw the papers and…” He bites the inside of his cheek. He’s seen similar papers once before, last year, accompanied by the excuse that ‘It’s nothing personal Jason. You’re a lovely boy, just a little too much for us to handle right now’. “I don’t know.”

“It’s okay, kid.” She sits back, wrapping her arms around her knees. “So what do you say?” She swallows and adjusts her glasses. “I know I’m not your Mom, kid. I know no one can replace her. I just want you to have a home here. With me, if you want it.”

“You’re not kidding?” She shakes her head. He pinches himself under his leg, where she can’t see. He pinches until it can’t hurt more, and he’s still sitting there. Nothing’s changed… so this is real.

He crashes into her, his weight nearly sending them both toppling to the ground, saved only by Claire’s quick thinking. He feels the past five years shaking inside him, the uncertainty that had lurked in the background of his life finally calming.

“I’m going to take that as a yes.” He nods against her, nothing but a small, trembling gasp escaping him. Laughing, she hugs him back, somehow enveloping him despite being half his size.

It crosses his mind that he can’t wait to tell Veronica about this. And he will, even if she won’t understand what this all means for him. She can’t, few people can, and that’s more than fine. It’s not lost on him that in some roundabout way, he sort of owes this to her, but at the same time, he and Claire are their own thing. His own… dare he say it, family? Even if she’s not his mom, she’s something close.

He opens his eyes to the same wooden floor he’s trodden over every day for months. Familiar, unextraordinary. Utterly simple. But it’s transformed now. It’s his future now and he’s just as much part of this house now as these floorboards are.

His dad told him years ago that Sherwood Ohio was his new home. And now, five years later, it finally is.

#jdronica #heathers the musical #heathers fanfic #veronica sawyer #jason dean #i've been in kind of a weird place mentally this month and didn't think i'd get a chapter out #but i did #*high fives myself*

[hjh-ceilo-monster]

Hybrid Verse : Bunkermate (JHS)

Y/N Pov.

And again,me myself and I alone.

'Who tell the police that I was here, damnit!'

I curse with myself while walking around like an idiot.Before you start throwing me a lot of questions,I'll tell you a story.

Once upon a time,there was an orphan girl escape from the foster house.She needed to find a 'home' every year.Now she end up on the street again because someone tell the police about her,the end.

I walk down the street and my feet start screaming at me.I don't know where should I live from now.Walking under the sun that hot as hell shine on your head is tough.However, no time to waste.I continue my journey until reach an old bridge.

"Wow fantastic,now I don't need to find a new home for another three years." I settle down my bag and start to explore the area. It's nice actually.There is a river under it and the water is crystal clear.I can see fish and creatures swimming.Both sides of the bridge are forest.I can get as much food as I want.

Night begins and I start to search for food before it's getting too dark.Wandering around the area,from side to the other into it's completely dark.

"At least I get a fish and some berries."

I hum along the way back to the bridge.I see there is the room or two under the bridge.I walk down the old stairs.It makes some creek but it fine.When I reach the bottom,there is a bit of light beaming from somewhere.I follow them till I see the rusty door.

"Lucky me, there's the room for me."

I enter the room.Cehcking my surrounding,it’s so dusty.I try to find something in my backpack and find a mini broom.I clean all the dust off before my allergies spark.

“It’s nice.” I admire the room.‘This is mine.’I repeat it in my head.No one gonna find me here and I’m gonna live here with peace.Although it’s far from the city,I’ll be fine with this.

“Stupid polices.” 

Next day

“Umm,why so heavy?” I roll around my bed.Filling a thing weigh down on my body,wait? A thing? I quickly open my eyes and see a red panda sleep soundly one my body.

“Awe lil baby,how comes you’re here?” 

I look at him,I suppose,which cling on me like I’m a tree.I know I’m flat(if you know what I mean) but,now something appreciate me at least.I push him gently until he lays on the matress.I decide to find something to eat.

“I think I need a camp fire.” I gather the wood and start the fire.Hunting time begin and I explore the area.I’m good with living in the wood since my old orphan neared a wood when I was young.

*scratch scratch*

“Hmmm?” I look down and see the little guy wake up.Scratching gently and cling on my leg,I carry him to big log near the fire.

“Hello,little guy.Wanna eat?” He looks at the grill fish on the stick.Why do I feel like he shake his head? He then disappears which make me confuse.

I eat my grill fish and other things from the backpack.The little buddy pop up out nowhere while carry some fruits in his small embrace.He come close to me and start eating his fruit.Then some of it he put into my lap.

“Do you want me to eat this?” 

*a lil paw pat again on my lap*

“Gosh you’re cute.”

Author POV.

That’s the first time that Y/N get to know her little buddy,red panda.She never know that red panda is something beyond what she called wild creature...

“Sir,our subject 180294 is missing.” A lady in the lab coat inform her leader.

“Go get him,he’s our secret subject that shouldn’t be out of here.”

The lab team start tracking the location of their  experiment subject.The security of the laboratory double up the number of guards.

“Lil buddy,where are you?” Y/N call the red panda that disappear to nowhere again.They’ve been living with each other for more than a month now.She notices a lot of things about him.He seems to act like a human more than an animal.

Sometimes act grumpy but, mostly sunshine.Prefer fruits more than meats,sleep less than usual red panda and is a ‘hyper’ creature.However,she didn’t really care and take care of him like he’s one of her friend.Treating animal like human might sound weird but,that’s what she’s been doing.

Everything between them seem fine.Once Y/N even told him that it’s them against the world until one day,he’s gone from her.

4 years later :  Jhope POV.

Hi,you might all wonder where am I from.That’s not important since you already guess who I am from the photo above.Now there,let’s introduce myself.

I’m Jung hoseok,Jhope.Used to be red panda but,successfully develop as hybrid human from the lab.The lab wasn’t a nice place in my memory.Thanks to my ‘mom’ who is my creator.She helped me to escape.I’m now a choreographer of HopeOnTheStreet Studio.

“Sir,there’ll be your new assistant in a minute.”

“Clair I don’t know why you quit.Not because of me right?”

“I have a problem with my family sir,no need to worry.”

“Don’t forget,you’re still welcome here alright.”I look at her who is packing her stuff and ready to leave my studio.She’s one of the best assistant.

“Don’t be sad sir,you’ll meet her in a minute.She’s nice,I could tell.”

“I hope she isn’t like the one before you.That time was really like hell to me.”

“I can assure you sir.This girl loves kids.Beside,I’ll be with you today as a final day so cheer up.” I collect my sadness and cheer up for her.She’s more like my noona than an assistant.When our conversation finish,someone enter the studio. My gaze follow at the door that auto slide open.

‘It isn’t her,right?’ The girl walks toward us.She isn’t ‘her’,is she? The question runs in my head and make me feel light head.Her face is exactly like her,her smile too and her scent,god I don’t know what to do right now.

“Sir...Jhope...are you here?” 

“Y..yes noona,I’m here.”

“Hi,I’m Y/N.Thank you for accept me,I’ll work my best.” I chuckle when she gives me a 90 degrees bow that nearly makes herself fall.

“Nice to meet you and work well.”

I dismiss her with Clair.Clair start walking with the girl around my studio.I go the opposite direction and enter one of the studio room.Well,need to get work done before students start class with me in half and hour.

A week later : Author POV.

For entire week,it’s tough for Jhope.He keeps thinking about Y/N and how familiar he feel around her.Y/N thinks different about it.She thinks that he didn’t like her and a bit upset.

She tried her best to work as the assistant for him but it’s hard when she has negative thoughts in her head.Jhope acts seem to affect her a lot but,the question is why?

“We’ll have our studio anniversary in 3 weeks so be ready,now dismiss.”

Jhope tell the students about the news,they all cheer up and quiet excited about the event.First of,there’ll be a theme party every year.Second of all,they’ll see Jhope perform for the ceremony.He’s the hottest and most talent teacher in students’ opinion.There’ll also be other teachers in the studio as well as the artists that he might bring as a ‘surprise’.

“Y/N,is there any class left today?”

“Uh no sir.You only have 3 classes today sir.” Jhope nod.Y/N scroll through the pc screen to check again.

“Go out with me.” All of sudden,he speaks.‘What does he means by that’ Y/N ask the question inside her head.Her eyes widen with the words he says.

“Uhh sir I think it isn-”

“No I mean hang out with me.Well you see I want to talk about the anniversary as well as the dress code and other plans we had in today’s meeting.”

Y/N POV.

‘This is akward.’ I’m now sitting in his car.His eyes focus toward the road.I look outside and the radio of the car is playing.I thought he didn’t like me but here I am in his car.

“You like red panda?” The question pop up out of the blue.

“Yeah,it’s remind me of my buddy.”

I feel sad all of sudden.I miss him and it’s been 4 years that he’s gone.I still see his smiley face when I eat the fruit in my fridge,hug my pillow to sleep like he used to hug me and walk in the park everyday.Everything still remind me of my lil buddy.

“You’re crying.I’m sorry,I shouldn’t bring that up.I just saw the photo in your phone the other day.”

“It’s fine.I really mis him.Me,him,us against the world.”

Jhope then stay in silence.I don’t know if I say something wrong.He looks puzzle but say nothing in return.We both arrive at the mall.Our schedule start from there until it reach night time.

2 weeks pass,everyone in the studio has been working hard for the anniversary day so far.Students will practice night till dawn.Sometime Jhope and teachers need to stay in the studio for a night or two.

For me,the work get overwhelm.I need to mke sure everyone get to practice,the classes’ schedules didn’t cross path.The other assistants also help me a lot with that.

What’s really weird is Jhope behaviour change.He smiles at me every day,greet me when he has a time and hang out of me more often.Some studentsd even tease me and ask whether I’m his girlfriend.

The event day finally arrive.The theme is nice.There are a lot of guests come to the event which surprisingly something I didn’t expect.I’m standing and greeting people like I’m at the studio.When the VIP guests enter,the cheer from students start to go wild.

Author POV.

“Our first performance from the house,please welcome mr.Jung.” The sound from hand claps surround the ball room.Jhope is standing there in the dark, waiting for the spot light to shine on him.

The song play and his body start working through it.He uses his body to create an art and people can’t take their eyes from him.His solo stage is so powerful and it shines.

The others go wild when another famous dancer/choreographer like Park Jimin enter the stage.Both of them combining their skills and perform such a great show.Making the students even more nervous.

The event is running on without a problem.There are a few introduction for each course before the students perform.Nothing seems to be odd and everyone enjoy the show.

“Follow me” Jhope whisper and drag Y/N along with him.She didn’t know what’s going on.They fade from the crowd and no one even notice those two.

“Here sit”

“Okay” Y/N only whisper as a reply.She didn’t know what she has done that make him upset or angry.The husky voice from him awhile ago doesn’t look like something good for her.

“I just want to tke a fresh air.I’m nervous you know,perform like that on stage.”

“But you’re great.”

“You think so?” He turns his hyper mode on which she happened to discover them after that day.

They chit chat outside the room.Y/N gets less nervous and finally can talk normally with him.He open up about his life so does she.That’s when the main point get into the convo.

“If I say I were that red panda,would you believe me?” Jhope clear his head a bit.You notice on his head there’re ears with orange-red color.You caress them gently in your hand.Feeling like the first time you touched them.

“No.....nope.” At first she is so confident but her voice fade away.The eyes that peircing toward her,searching for her soul right now were similar to her buddy. Her little buddy that she miss every day.

“It can’t be..you..Hobi?” 

“I’m your hobi.I’m really your buddy.”

“How?When?” He tell everything to her.Everything out of his mouth isn’t something that should be possible but here she is.Sitting with him and believing in every word he says.

“Finally you’re here.” She cries and hugs him tight.He tighten the hug to make sure she’s relly with him.

“Sorry to interrupt but we need to take him.”

Then the guys wearing suits and all grab Jhope from her.You reach for him but no use.She try to fight with them.One of the guy in lab coat suddenly pointing a gun toward her.

“No what are you doing?”

“Going with us and she’ll be fine.You are our subject after all.”

Jhope loose his faith at the minute and go with them.Fortunately someone rescue on time.Jimin with his girlfriend come to the scene,searching for them to be back inside the event,see what’s happening.

His girlfriend didn’t hesiate to call the police.Jimin knows these people so he run and help Jhope and Y/N.The scene become a mess but no one hurt.4 of them keep everything to themselves with the police that arrive on time.

“Hyung are you alright?” Jimin ask while help him to stand up from ground.

“I’m fine.How bout your girl,she’s running here?”

“We both fine.”

Y/N get to know both of them.4 of them having a chat between each other.Jimin is really concern about what happen and decide to tell the others that you both go back early.He cover everything for you guys. 

Years pass and everything fall back into there places.The incident that night is a secret betwen 4 of you.She get to know what happened before with Jhope and why Jimin also know about it.They both were subjects in lab before.Jimin got out because they thought he was dead and someone save Jhope.

You get to see his mother,the creator.She has already retired from her job and living alone in the house near the wood.Going to that place also bring both of them back to the bunker they used to live.His mother’s house was in the next town near the bunker.

“I still remember the first day that I met you.”

“And I still remember the girl that all of sudden wander into my bunker.”

“Your bunker? It’s mine.”

“No it’s mine.” They’re bickering with each other.Every moment pop up in their minds which bring the smiles on their face.It was a nice memory that they won’t forget.

“Nevermind anything mine is yours.” Jhope claim.

“And why is that?”

“Because you’re my bunkermate.” Jhope hug her tight in his arm.Warmth and love flows in the air.He sniff your scent in and kiss your neck.

“Is this a proposal?” Y/N ask.

“Maybe?”

“Then I’ll accept it.”

“Remember what you tell me?”

“It’s us against the world.” They say in unison.

“Love you my bunkermate.” Y/N kiss him and he bring her closer.

Who knows that a girl wander around places will finally end with a red fluffy ball of sunshine like him.

Aye yo ladies and gentlemen,how y’all doing.I try to finish off this series but well gaint wall has already built in my head.I’ll try harder next time.Thank you for reading and see you next story.Yeet!

#kpop fanfic #kpop fanfiction #kpop BTS #bts fic #bts one shot #bts jhope #Jung HoSeok #bts jhope x reader #bts x you #bts x reader #bts x army #fanfiction #red panda hybrid #red panda #jung hoseok red panda hybrid #Hybrid Verse #bts imagines #one shot #bts #bangtan #hybrid au

[whiskynottea]

An interruption in the 1st law of thermodynamics.

Previously, Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28 Chapter 29 Chapter 30 Chapter 31 Chapter 32 Chapter 33

AO3

@wunderlichkind, thank you so much for being my beta for this chapter!! ❤️

Chapter 34. Lingering Smiles

Lingering smiles are sly creatures. Reluctant to leave your face, they tug up the corners of your lips until you’ve forgotten they’re there.

Clueless, you keep going on, proud that no one can understand what’s hiding under your skin; until that lingering smile betrays you, disclosing information you believed camouflaged.

Jamie had been gone by the time Lamb came back home, but a soft smile was still changing the shape of my mouth, lighting up my face. Lamb’s glance traveled from me to the chemistry book in my hands, and a raised eyebrow accompanied the glint in his eye. I didn’t know what he’d thought or had guessed, for he didn’t talk – thank God. He leaned over me and planted a kiss on my forehead, saying, “Hello, lamb.”

His hands ruffled my hair, something that he hadn’t done in years. “Welcome home!” I said, and swallowed my self-consciousness as I sat up on the couch, carefully placing the book on the coffee table. Lamb moved to the kitchen, opened the fridge absentmindedly, and stared at its contents.

“How’s it going?” he asked in a casual tone and nodded to the coffee table. The air tightly held in my lungs left my chest in a sigh of relief, and I started talking about my studying plans, thankful for escaping an awkward conversation.

Two days later, I found out that I wasn’t the only one who couldn’t stop smiling on Friday.

“So?” Jenny appeared next to me the moment I entered the courtyard, pursing her lips as if she was trying to keep tons of questions inside.

“Good morning to you too, Jenny,” I said with a yawn. I’d overslept after staying up until late to study, and all I wanted was to get back into my bed. My pillow… my soft duvet… I had already closed my eyes, stretching my neck, when Jenny’s voice dragged me out of my dreams again.

“Good morning, Claire. So?”

“So what?” I opened my eyes to see Jenny Fraser looking back at me, expectant, her blue eyes slanted from the slight smile on her lips.

“So, my wee dolt of a brother came back home on Friday night, wi’ the broadest smile I’ve ever seen on him.”

“Did he now?” I asked, feigning ignorance, while a similar smile was curving up my lips.

“Mmmph,” Jenny rolled her eyes, but decided that the Scottish noise wasn’t enough – she needed to say more. “Claire Beauchamp, d’ye think I’m a bloody fool? I know ye two did it! I was almost sure when I saw my brother, but I actually know it because Jamie told Ian!”

“He did? Oh, cool. Glad we are all up to date then.” I looked around, searching for Jamie, not sure what I’d do to him once I found him. Ian was his best friend – of course he’d tell him. “Oh, wait.” I felt my eyes go wide and turned my attention to Jenny again. “Does Murtagh know, too?”

“Ah, I dinna ken. I guess so. When Jamie arrived, Murtagh let out one of his unexplained grunts, shaking his head, but I think I saw him smiling under that thick castaway beard of his.”

Oh my God, Jamie. You could have at least tried to be a little less obvious.

“He couldn’t help it, Claire,” Jenny said as if she’d read my thoughts. “The lad was positively shining.”

“So, what else do you know?” I asked, wondering whether I really wanted to know the answer.

“Not much. No details, at least… Just some rubbish about ‘making love’ – as he called it – being magical and him being the happiest man in the world.” Jenny batted her eyelashes, mocking her brother, but she suddenly stopped. “You did use a condom, right?”

“We did,” I rolled my eyes, but my cheeks soon burned crimson with the memory of how we came to use that first condom.

“Oh my god, you’re blushing, too! Ian told me Jamie’s face looked like a ripe tomato when he told him ye’d had sex! You’re both insufferable.” Jenny linked her arm with mine through mine and we started walking towards the building.

“So how was it?” she asked, he voice now caring and serious.

“Good,” I said, nodding to emphasize the single word that didn’t even begin to encompass the experience; something surpassing words and meanings.

“Just good?” Jenny asked, worried. “Did he do anything stupid or – ”

“No, no. Jamie was perfect,” I interrupted her, smiling at the thought of him. I hadn’t lied, he was everything I could ever ask for. “The first time was okay, I guess… The – ”

“The first time?” It was Jenny’s turn to interrupt me, and I could hear the smile in her voice. “How many times did ye bang? Couldn’t stop after trying it, huh?”

I chuckled and shrugged. “Well, the second time was more than fun… I can’t even imagine how good it’s going to be from now on.”

“Good… Fun… Are you going to tell me the truth, Claire, or am I just losing my time here instead of… doing nothing but wait in the classroom?”

We both laughed, and I felt an easiness softly spreading around us like a comfortable, warm sheet in the crisp winter morning. It kept the emotions safe, close to our bodies, protecting them from roaming freely around the courtyard.

“It was amazing, Jenny.” I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. “The way we felt, the way we connected, it was so different from anything else. We were really one.”

“That sounds wonderful,” Jenny said and sighed, squeezing my arm. “Lucky you!” she continued with a pout. “And I’m with Ian for so long and still nothing.”

“Oh come on… You never know when it’s going to happen. It came out of the blue for us – and we had the whole place to ourselves. It’ll happen, don’t worry.”

“Yeah, sure. Ian thinks too much, in my opinion. He keeps saying that we can’t just do it and keep living under the same roof with Murtagh and Jamie!”

“It’ll be weird, you think?”

“Hmm, I dinna ken. But Ian definitely thinks so. I’m sure he’s afraid of Murtagh. Deflowering his niece and all.”

“Deflowering!” I burst out laughing.

“Ridiculous, aye?” Jenny joined me. “Anyway! I’m so happy for you two!”

“Thanks Jenny. Really.” We were just outside my classroom and I turned to face her, wondering how this amazing woman could be my friend. “I love your brother, you know that.”

“I do.” She smiled broadly and winked at me.

“Where is he, by the way?” I asked, while searching around for a glimpse of him.

“Monday.”

“Oh… Right.”

Monday. Morning session in the pool.

--

A few hours later, I saw Jamie Fraser entering the cafeteria and stopping short by the door, gazing around.

Searching for me.

I was sitting at our usual table, and his eyes didn’t leave mine as he was walking towards me, the curls on his forehead bouncing slightly with each step, his lopsided grin making me go weak in the knees. It was a good thing I was sitting down already. I smiled at him with my mouth closed, full of chicken, and my heart full of love.

He was like oxygen. Breathing him in was necessary to keep me alive. Having more of him made me light-headed; lost in a haze, never wanting to find my way out. It was always different between us, but this time I felt like nothing could break the bond we’d created. Something made by the two of us, for the two of us.

“I’ve missed ye so much,” he murmured when he sat next to me, pulling me to him and placing a kiss between my curls.

“Mmm, I missed you too.” I inhaled him deeply, his body’s musky scent mixing with the pear, nutmeg and driftwood of his shower gel - not that I could recognize the odors, but I’d read the description on the bottle when we bought it together.

“I’m sorry I couldna see ye during the weekend, Sassenach,” he said, lowering his head as his forehead came to meet mine.

“Power cleaning – I know.” I kissed the tip of his long, straight nose and he raised his head to look at me. “Is the house perfect to accept the Queen, now?”

Jamie chuckled, a hand moving from my hip to reach for my food. “Aye, ‘tis. Though I dinna think it’s the Queen. I’m pretty sure Murtagh regrets having his house full of people, sometimes.”

“He has someone?” I asked, raising both eyebrows and feeling happy for this grump, wonderful man.

“Mmm, I think so,” Jamie said, wiggling his eyebrows. “What are we eating?”

“I am eating chicken wings, Jamie Fraser, and you take your hands off my food!”

“Ye’re not going to share a wee bite wi’ the love of yer life?”

“The love of my life?” I asked, feigning shock. “That sure, are you?”

Jamie looked at me, seemingly deeply betrayed with a pout on his face and his eyebrows dropping low above his clear blue eyes. Before I had enough time to consider if he had taken my words to heart, a cocky smile changed his demeanor completely. “Aye,” he said, and his hand on my waist gripped me tighter. “And I intend to prove that to ye every day, until ye’re finally convinced as well.”

“Well now, that’s rather interesting.” Placing my elbow on the table, I cupped my cheek, ardently looking at him.

“I canna do it if ye dinna feed me, Sassenach.”

I sighed dramatically and pushed my plate towards him. “Here you are, my poor, starving lad.”

He gave me a cheeky grin and dipped a chicken wing in the tabasco sauce, almost emptying the container. “Hey!”

“You wanted that?” he asked, chewing. “Come, take some back.” He pursed his lips, full of tabasco sauce, and leaned in to kiss me.

“You fool,” I laughed and pushed him away. “Take it. It’s all yours.”

He licked his lips and came closer to me, bending his head so I could almost taste the tabasco on his breath. “I can’t stop thinking of you – of us.”

His husky words became images, dancing in my mind, and my body tightened in response. I breathed in deeply and gulped, trying to find something coherent to say in reply, but not a single thought in my mind made sense. Instead, I covered the small distance between us and kissed him, trying to share the fire he’d lit inside me before it would eat me whole.

“I didna ken that hot sauce is an aphrodisiac, Angus. D’ye think ‘twas written in Cosmo?” Rupert’s voice carried from a few feet behind us and we broke apart with silly, shy smiles on our throbbing lips.

“Ye’re the one who reads Cosmo, Rup,” Angus replied as he sat down across from us, but neither Jamie nor I had turned to look at him, still suspended between our precious bubble and reality. Angus lowered his voice and coughed, trying to sound more sophisticated. “Actually, tabasco peppers are grown in Mexico, not Africa.”

“What?” Rupert’s confusion was obvious in his voice. Jamie and I turned our heads in slow motion to face them, our initial frowns gradually transforming into wide smiles with understanding dawning on us.

“Aphro-disiac?” I asked, trying to suppress my laughter, already feeling Jamie’s body shaking against mine.

The next moment all three of us burst into laughing, with Angus looking at us confused. His furrowed eyebrows and the questioning grimace on his face made it even more difficult for us to stop. I had tears rolling down my cheeks when Ian and Jenny arrived at the table.

“What?” Ian asked, only to trigger another episode of uncontrollable, boisterous laughter.

--

I was in my room, with my chemistry notes spread over every inch of my desk, when my mind traveled back to the cafeteria and Angus’ dumbfoundedness. Chuckling quietly to myself, I did a quick search on google and reached for my phone.

Sassenach: So it seems that tabasco sauce actually is an aphrodisiac! And I found a Tabasco Chocolate Fudge Pudding recipe that we can keep in mind…

I turned my attention back to my notes, trying to focus, but the letters blurred, and the lines danced in front of my eyes. My gaze trailed back on my phone. No response from Jamie.

Sassenach: Hmm… Are you thinking about the pudding or would you rather have the chicken wings?

I put my phone to the side and grabbed my pen, deciding to concentrate on my homework on redox. A moment later, I reached for my phone again, realizing that he hadn’t been online for the last 30 minutes. Once in Oxford, I thought longingly, we wouldn’t have to deal with nights apart. We’d sleep together every night, whispering goodnights into each other’s skin with our eyes already closed.

But before that, we had our Easter holidays to look forward to. After Jamie’s win in the Scottish Schools championship, his coach had asked him to stay in Edinburgh during the break, not to miss his training sessions - which meant that he would stay with me, instead of going to Lallybroch for two weeks. And with Murtagh, Ian and Jenny gone, we’d have his place all to ourselves.

I looked again at my phone’s black screen. I missed him.

Sassenach: Do you think I can come to your place to study chemistry during the break? We could study together? 😎 😏

Sassenach: Where are you?!?!

It had been too long. It never took Jamie more than fifteen minutes to text me back. Moving from my desk, I lay in my bed and turned up the volume on my phone to distract myself.

“So if you're lonely

You know I'm here waiting for you

I'm just a cross hair

I'm just a shot away from you

And if you leave here

You leave me broken, shattered, I lie

I'm just a cross hair

I'm just a shot, then we can die”

Sassenach: Baby?

He must have fallen asleep. There was no other explanation.

I was already half asleep myself, when fifteen minutes later, my phone buzzed against my pillow. In my rush to grab it, I hit it with my hand, making it fly halfway across my room, where it hit a chair and fell down on the carpet.

I rushed to retrieve it, praying not to see the screen broken. Making sure that it wasn’t, I let out the breath caught in my chest and unlocked the phone, fully awake again.

Scot: I’m here.

Sassenach: You okay?

Scot: No.

With my heart in my mouth once again, I dialled his number and waited, only to have him reject my call.

Scot: Can’t speak right now.

Sitting on my bed, I texted him back.

Sassenach: What happened?

The next messages came one after the other, in a success that made my teeth borrow deep into my lip.

Scot: Spoke with my da.

Scot: I’m not allowed to stay in Edinburgh during the break.

Scot: He said, I’ll have to stop swimming if my grades don’t get better.

Scot: MacMahon called him today.

Sassenach: MacMahon? Why?

I couldn’t understand why our maths teacher had called Jamie’s da, instead of sending a formal letter to him – no matter the reason behind sending the letter.

Scot: They know each other.

Sassenach: And?

Scot: He told him that I failed the last test.

Sassenach: Shit. I’m sorry, Jamie.

Sassenach: But come on! Failing one test doesn’t mean you have to stop swimming!

Scot: Tell that to my da.

Sassenach: It’s just one test! You’ll do better next time. I’ll help you!

Without waiting for a response, I texted again, typing words I’d already sent earlier, but truly meaning them this time.

Sassenach: We’ll study together.

Scot: I’m going to bed, babe.

Sassenach: Jamie…  

Scot: Sorry to fuck up our holiday plans.

Sassenach: Stop this!

Sassenach: You didn’t fuck anything up.

Scot: I’m going to Lallybroch for the break.

Sassenach: It’s just two weeks – and you can study there! Then you’ll be back, and you’ll rock both tests and the races.

Scot: I don’t know if I can. It’s getting too much.

Sassenach: Can I call you?

Scot: Ian is in the room. We’ll talk tomorrow, Sassenach.

Sassenach: Okay. We’ll fix this, Jamie. Promise. Sending a huuuuuuuuuuuge hug.

Scot: I wish you were here.

Sassenach: Me too.

Lingering smiles are sly creatures. When you think them gone, they’re still there; when you need them most, they disappear.

Chapter 35

#thermodynamics #The first law of thermodynamics #high school au #jamie x claire #outlander fanfiction #outlander fanfic #Franz Ferdinard #take me out

[amytaylcr]

needs & wants

TAGGING → @casskaykingston LOCATION → Amy’s apartment TIMEFRAME → Thursday, January 24th

The day seemed to drag on unbearably long that Thursday night. Having a steady job, getting accustomed to working nine to five every day was an effort, even for those who liked their job, like Amy. Not only did it give her a sense of purpose and accomplishment, but it provided her with new challenges, new obstacles to overcome and focus her energies on, and it had honestly been so long since the last time she had that that Amy was reminiscent of a child about to enter Disney world and have the time of their life. The company at work was no small feature, either, as Annabel didn’t make it feel like a chore, like something that had to be done, but rather something you wanted to do. It was a talent not many people had, the knack to inspire the same kind of loyalty and devotion in others as one felt, and Amy counted her blessings for hounding Sydney at the gala about her former job. Brooks’s younger sister might have left some big shoes to fill, but Amy had every intention of living up to that legacy and making her own. It was what she had been craving for in her life in such a long time that it seemed impossible to tear her focus away from it, even in the romantic department.

Yes, the new job and the new apartment had brought about some new challenges to her dynamic with Cass. The choice of place for sleeping over, dinner date, or just regular hanging out had always fallen on the blonde’s property for the simple reason they didn’t really have anywhere else, and it was the perfect space on top of that, too. Now, however, there were two variables in that equation, and choosing one wasn’t as simple anymore. They both had jobs, obligations, habits that were not easily broken, and though Amy’s were very much in their infancy, they had the special brand that came with life-changing steps. They were, however, working out a system and it was that which found them in the kitchenette of her new apartment that evening, cooking dinner and sharing stories.

“So, yeah, long story short, I’m kinda thinking Claire and Anna are perfect for each other and I can’t wait to see what happens there,” Amy finished her bit about setting up her two friends as she diced tomatoes above a salad bowl as Cass tended to the shrimp frying on the stove. “Oh! And, oh my god, I can’t believe I forgot to tell you this,” she turned excitedly to her boyfriend, a bright, conspiratorial grin tugging at her lips. “Remember how Andrew and Iris attended the gala for all of five minutes before Iris got sick and they had to leave? Well, guess who was right in their assumption that our dear friend has another bun in the oven!” The playful wiggle of her eyebrows was clearly meant to suggest that the answer was Amelia Taylor.

It's a funny thing when something you're proud of someone for getting, something that makes them so happy and makes you happy in relation, still has the power to make you kind of sad. That was the tricky relationship Cass now had with Amy's new job and new life, though his complete feelings on the matter he'd never disclose to the woman currently making dinner with him, hair that now brushed her shoulders in a messy bun while she makes dinner with him. Amy's hazel eyes shine as she talks, their conversations during dinner one of the things he never really expected to look forward to and love so much. They got to discuss their days while doing something together, time with her that Cass found even more precious now that their lives had adjusted to first her new job and then her new apartment. What had first had a simple answer, his place, had changed into two possible ones, a development that, while he didn't begrudge her, he did miss her. Missed the guarantee that if she was spending the night, it would be in his bed, wrapped around her in sheets that smelled like them, waking up to her gorgeous face. Missed her making his place feel more like home than any other he'd been. As selfish as he felt on the inside, Cass let none of it show on the outside. He committed her new address to memory, brought over clothing to fill a drawer at her place. There were no limits of compromises he'd make for her, if Cass was being honest.  And he was proud of her. So proud. Even if it tasted bittersweet.

He pushed his turning golden shrimp around the pan with a spatula, the sizzle and scent of the spices a pleasant background to their conversation, the sleeves of a forest green button down rolled to his elbows. A chuckle leaves Cass's mouth when he hears more about the diabolical plan of setting Anna and Claire up, though he's a supporter of the plan. "Me either. Please keep me updated if Claire doesn't." His deep voice rumbles, popping a shrimp into his mouth for taste. Turning to her, he chokes for a second on it when Amy adds that Iris and Andrew are, in fact, expecting, an altogether too familiar feeling spreading through his chest. First joy, reflecting how happy he was for them, and then longing, a gut punch that he'd long since trained not to show on his face. "That's amazing. I'm sure the two of them are over the moon." Cass gets out once he swallows, keeping the touch of sadness out of his smile better than he usually could when keeping things from her. A shake of his head at the eyebrow wiggle and he turns back to his food, not wanting to make it burn. Fighting on the inside for a moment, unsure of what to bring up, words come to his mouth unbidden. "You remember the conversation we had when we were becoming friends? It's crazy how much has changed since then." Sure he might be trying to lead to something, but the thirty two year old man wasn't wrong. Everything, it seemed, had changed since then. Maybe Cass was just curious as to how much.

Back before Cass, in those dark days when she had been condemned to just her own sour company, Amy never minded other people’s business. Her logic seemed simple enough: if she stayed out of theirs, they would stay out of hers and that was that. And then Cass came along, cracked open the hard shell in which she had cramped herself, and somehow that little world was no longer enough for her. The happiness he brought her was unparalleled, and she only wanted all of her friends to experience that same level of joy themselves. If they needed a little nudge on that, well this Amy was more than happy to oblige. And the fact that Cass enjoyed a little gossip and match-making himself only bode well for them. They were always down with another couple to hang out with. And, secretly, Amy hoped for the strain that existed between Cass and Anna due to his dumb, alpha male behavior would eventually be put aside for something akin to friendship. She could hardly think of two people less hardwired to hold grudges than Anna and Cass, after all. “I’ll keep you posted,” she said with a wink, snatching a piece of tomato and popping it in her mouth to munch on. Her appetite had also suffered some changes with the growing happiness: her love of food and intake growing in proportion with the smiles on her face. Playfully, she smacked Cass’s behind when he stole a golden shrimp, mostly because he hadn’t offered her a bite and not that he’d done it in the first place. “Hey, thief, leave something for the rest of us.”

Oblivious to all that was going through Cass’s mind, Amy walked over to the fridge and pulled out some lettuce and got to sprinkling some more on top of the salad bowl, nodding her head eagerly. “They are. And I am, for them. Sophie’s gonna love having a sibling, too,” she added with a soft smile, thinking about the little girl, the spitting image of Iris (and Harlow, Andrew’s sister, as most people agreed). The trip down memory lane was not uncommon for them, usually one to bring them joy as they reveled in all the obstacles they’ve overcome with time, but in this particular instance Amy wasn’t entirely sure which conversation he was referring to. “Which one was it?” She wondered idly, adding a dash of olive oil to the salad. “We’ve had a few, you know.”

How his girlfriend managed to be sexy and adorable at the same time, Cass didn't know. But she did it effortlessly, much the way she had since the first time she'd fully relaxed around him, a memory that he cherished. She winks at him, sampling their dinner wares, and his heart makes like a helium balloon once more, a reaction that only Amy and Hudson seemed to easily draw forth from him. He receives the butt slap with a chuckle, inwardly still pleased she thought he had a cute butt. Everyone liked compliments after all, and Cass was no exception. "I'd like to see you make me. Don't judge me for trying to make sure my half of dinner is good, okay?" The tall man responds with a quirk up of his lips, light catching on his sky blue eyes. Two chews and a quick swallow and Cass can tell that they're done, moving the pan to an unused and unoccupied burner, turning off the one he'd used, wiping his hands on her dishtowels. As happy as he is for Sophie having a sibling, Cass's mind is on other things now, striving to explain a subject he's not sure how to bring up. Especially since Amy didn't seem to know where he was headed. Leaning against her counter, arms folded, Cass rubbed a hand on his bearded chin. "We have had a few." His deep voice concedes. "But specifically, when we talked about kids. Wanting them or not. Remember?" He did. Even if the memory did not kill the daydreams of a family that his mind liked forming, Cass did. Never let it be said that the man doesn't listen.

“You know I’d do it and probably succeed so don’t test me, Kingston,” she said pointedly, following her warning with a wink. Between the two of them it was difficult to say whose competitive streak was worse, and they tended to like making games out of these challenges that rose out of nowhere. Many a time it lead them right into each other’s naked embrace and for some much appreciated sexual release, and who could blame her for inching them closer to that divine ledge? Especially when it would steer them far away from the topic Cass was trying to start, sending her heart into a frenzied, hammering pace, and sinking her gut to the soles of her feet. Kids. Damn it, she really had to bring up Iris and the baby on the way? Cass and Amy had gone three months without tackling the subject and she was more than fine with it going unaddressed for many months to come, but she knew Cass had other plans. The look in his eyes, the cold hard steel behind the azure of his gaze always a reminder she couldn’t weasel her way out easily. “I remember,” she nodded her head, grabbing the salad and taking it to the small table by the wall where two plates had already been set for them. “It was the first time I’ve had your mother’s strawberry lemonade and it changed my life for good.”

As much as Casfs liked to test her, to see how far she wanted to push things and respond in kind, he didn't want that right now. If she pressed hard enough to distract him, the broad and built man would have caved as he always would, weak at the hands of her dimples and smile. This was a topic that meant something to him, an issue he held close to his soul and meant something to his future. Their future. Even if the two of them didn't like conflict, even if he knew this might not be a topic Amy particularly wanted to talk about. Cass transfers the seafood from the pan into a bowl and follows her, his gaze saying things that his mouth hadn't yet. She tries to change the subject subtly, a compliment that, if she'd heard it, Olivia would glow to hear, but Cass is stubborn. He doesn't want to avoid it. "That it did. I also seemed to remember that you said you couldn't imagine yourself having kids." Amy had also called her life a mess, and that was something that it wasn't now, as she'd gained all sorts of things since then. So sue him if he wanted to know if her plans had changed. Much in the way his had morphed when they'd gotten together. "Do you still feel like that?"

The competitive streak wasn't the only thing they seemed to be tied at. Their stubbornness was also a quality in which they matched each other perfectly, in that they were both so persistent with what they thought and wanted that it was near impossible to break the vicious cycle of back and forth. Amy was reminded of it all yet again when Cass pressed on with the subject of children, even though he must have caught onto her attempts at steering the conversation away from it. Knowing it would be impossible to avoid now, Amy chewed on her lip as she took her seat at the table, noodles already split between their two plates, and she added the shrimp on top of it, biding her time. "I haven't thought about it, Cass. I don't think about it. I'm trying to take my life one step at a time, and not drive myself crazy with plans and thoughts about the future that can only go awry once I think of them." It might have sounded harsh, admitting she still refused thoughts about the future even when they snuck up to her in the middle of the night, especially to the man who could very well be at the center of that future but it was better than lying to him. Better than pulling wool over his eyes about matters she wasn't ready to face only to let him down later on.

If Cass had been an animal, his hackles would had risen at the quiet and yet not so quiet defensiveness in her tone that arrives with her response, delivered only after bought time. Once again, she was cutting off their possibilities, placing a restriction on what their relationship could be. Could grow into. Words drift to him, reminders of a time in a different kitchen when she'd claimed "if they were together". This was a different, far more serious handicap. The thirty two year old man knows the tells of the woman he loves by now, registers the currently being abused lip and lack of eye contact as uncomfortableness and defensiveness, and if it had been another issue, he would have backed down. That day, however, wasn't today. He takes the other seat, dark gold beard framing lips that thinned in a touch of consternation. "I'm not trying to make any plans. But we can't even talk about it?" He presses slightly, gripping his fork. "It's not a step we'd take anytime soon, if at all, so no plans are going awry. I want to talk about it. At least open the discussion." Yes, Cass is pushing harder that he normally would. But, also, yes, he doesn't agree that she gets to single handedly end their conversation about it because she doesn't want to to think of the future because dammit Cass does. 50% of who'd be sharing that future wants to know.

Gone was the lighthearted atmosphere that prevailed when they were preparing the meal. They laughed, joked, talked about things that didn't seem to matter but still needed to be said, and Amy relished in those easy moments. Her shoulders were relaxed, her smile quick, and there were no worry lines etched into her forehead. But a weight, dark and heavy, hovered above them like a rainy cloud as Cass pressed on with his questions, and panic rose in her chest, swift and consuming as ever. The future, that darkness she could never see into, not even a glimpse. No, that, was a lie. She could glimpse shapes and silhouettes now that Cass brought life into her life, but she was still feeling her way through the dark, keeping her eyes shut closed. Was it loyalty to Brooks, or was it maybe fear of losing it all once again? The white picket fence, the plans for the future, the children and a storied life she would share with them? Laughter wheezed out from her chest, near hysteric and defensive. "Cass, come on. We've been together for three months. Are you not happy with how things are?"

Now, a bit, he realizes how naive it was for him to think their problems would fade after they said those all important three words. I love you was the beginning of new stages, new conversations, ones that Amy did not want to talk about or have for reasons that still eluded Cass's mind. Would he have to run into another burning building to open the possibility of kids? Did she always need a huge event to prompt accepting or embracing whatever next step they could take? Amy’s laugh is too high pitched, too strained, a far cry from the light giggles she'd been making not fifteen minutes before. He's silent for a moment, blue eyes locked on her face and the gaze that wouldn't meet his, a breathe pushed roughly out between his lips. "Yes, I'm happy-" Although I'd be happier if you were the home I always got to go back to. "-but that's not why I want to to talk about kids. I'm not saying let's go make a baby right now, I just want to know if you've pictured a future with us that includes another. I want to have the conversation, even if you clearly don't want to." It sounds more bullheaded than Cass thinks he means, but it's out there now, fingers wrapping too tightly around the utensil. Somewhere in the back of his head a little voice asks if this is a fight and if this has been the longest they've gone without one of these. And if they'd ever stop coming. His heart stuffs a gag on that voice’s mouth, but the question lurks, remaining, if Cass ever decided to acknowledge it existed.

When they started preparing the meal, the delicious smells of food wafting through the air, Amy worried they did not buy enough for the both of them. She was so hungry, ready to wolf down more than her share of the meal, and her stomach made it known more than once during the cooking stages. But now that they were sat at the table, the food cooling on their plates, her insides were all knotted up, twisted in ways that would prevent food from ever reaching its destination. Anxiety seized her gut, clenched its cold, hard fist around her throat, and despite the pleasantly warm temperature of the apartment, her palms were cold and clammy. The idea of putting food into her mouth had never been less appealing than in that moment as Cass, once more in the course of their relationship, tried to move them forward and Amy stomped her feet stubbornly in place. No, I'm not moving, the stubborn, petulant child within her wanted to scream as Cass pulled her forward closer to where he was at. The proclamation of his happiness didn't feel real whatsoever when uttered in that frustrated tone, and she caught lightning flash in the stormy blue of his gaze, making her aware of the nerves she struck. Would they ever move at a pace that worked for the both of them, or were they doomed to taking one step forward and two steps back every time they wanted to make progress? Though, in all honesty, it felt like Amy was taking her steps but Cass was leaping  over his own and expecting her to follow suit.

"Of course I've pictured a future, Cass," she snapped, setting down her fork and instantly regretting it. Without the metal object to close around, her hands now trembled, begging for something to steady them. "But a future that's within the next few months. The 'what are we going to do for Valentine's Day' kind of future. Or 'where our next trip might be'. Kids? I haven't thought that far ahead, and I'd love it if you didn't push me on this one and let me come to it in my own time, for once." Another regret, one she couldn't take back, no matter how harsh the words.

In her own time. The last time he'd stepped back, let her have the reins, all of it, it had been months before he'd seen her again in any sort of positive way. It was easy to lose sight of those cold weeks, his downward spiral and painfully slow climb back up in the face of the happiness he'd been experiencing recently, leagues more than he'd ever thought he'd have. Said happiness wasn't quite in the room right now, an example of looking a gift horse in the mouth and pushing to talk about things that perhaps a more sensible person could see might be too soon, but that was not the man at the table with Amy. This one had more clear-headed thoughts blocked by the fog of a ticking clock, each tick a reminder of the time slipping out of his grasp. Their food quickly becomes a background to the discussion they're sharing, forgotten on their plates after all the warm and golden feelings that had surrounded the making of it now nowhere to be fine. A slice of flint slides into his clear blues when Amy moves straight from panicked to accusatory and testy, his legs shifting uncomfortably under the table and lips thinning out more. She wasn't going to make this easy, he could see now. A prickly situation he had no one but himself to blame for, blame that would for certain make itself known once the red had faded. "Okay. So if it's in your own time, when is that? Next month? Next year? I'm not asking you for promises or definitive plans, I just want to open the goddamn conversation." He exclaims, frustration curling up into words, letting go of the fork so he can fold his arms over his chest. "I'm sorry I don't give you enough time to respond to the steps my heart is taking without you. And thanks, so much, for letting me know that a month is the farthest you can plan in advance with me, even after everything."

Wasn't it enough, all the steps she'd taken to recovery, all the effort she put into getting better, into being ready for something good in her life? It wasn't all for Cass, no, the majority was for herself, but he still played a significant role in the ordeal. He was the nudge she needed to break out of the prison she's held the key to all this time, he was the one who made her feel like she was worth all that she had denied herself, and yet every time she offered him an inch, he wanted to take a mile it felt. Perhaps it was necessary, otherwise they would not have moved at all, but was it really this urgent? To talk about children and a future three months into a relationship? Yes, it's been going on for longer than that if she dared to consider the weeks of happiness preceding the darkness of the late summer, but it was still the speed of light compared to what she was used to. Cass barricaded his heart folding his arms on his chest, and the thin line of his mouth threatened to swallow his lips entirely as he processed her insensitive words. How did they get there, when not ten minutes ago they were smiling? Was it all called for, or did something altogether different elevate the stress levels and bring them to the ledge far sooner than it would have under any other circumstances?

Amy shook her head, a humorless laugh parting her mouth. "Don't do that, don't put words in my mouth. I said months, and even that is leagues beyond what I had been capable of doing not too long ago. Why can't that be enough? I'm not you, Cass. My dreams right now are about staying sober, staying clean, keeping my job and my life in line, being happy with you just as we are. I can't put a timestamp on when I'll be ready, it's not something I can predict. And what if I'm never ready? You want to open a discussion, but you don't want to hear that I might never be in the same place as you are, and I don't want to tell you that."

Amy wasn't wrong. You'd have to pry Cass's mouth open and drag the words from his lips if you tried to make him admit this at this very moment, but she'd made leaps and bounds from the person he'd known even six months ago. The Amy he'd met at that fence side had grown into this one before him, now possessing a normally happy aura if he was involved and much more open heart wise and life wise, the journey from accusing him of making her forget Brooks to willingly, occasionally, telling him she loved him, one she'd done with him at her side. He, however, had had none of the romantic hang ups that she did. He hadn't realized it then, but he'd wanted to fall in love, thanked all the good luck that gods had given him for this incredulous chance to drop in his lap, this incredible woman that he was a goner for. Even now, when she was starting to get on his nerves. He didn't want to wait anymore. Was this really too big of a thing to ask? "You only specifically mentioned Valentines, which isn't even a month away. It's barely three weeks away.  I didn't say you were me," he insists, with exasperation, gripping his other bicep, brows an unhappy goldenrod line.  "You don't know all my dreams. I share those dreams with you. I also want you sober and clean, kicking ass at your job and in your new apartment." The apartment you chose that's farther from me than I'd like. "Why can't talking about kids be an achievable dream? No matter what I want to hear, all I want from you is the truth. If we don't have a discussion the conversation is dead before we even get to it. I don't need you to predict a time that you're going to want to have kids, I just want you to agree to talk about it. Why are you so afraid to talk about it, Amy?" A slip of the tongue, but a tell all the same. One that said that this, Cass and Amy at her apartment, dinner abandoned between them, was a fight. One far unlike the others they'd had.

Amy. If there had been any confusion before about the argument they were having, it was all gone now with the nickname falling in his deep timbre like a wedge that inflated and grew between them. Somehow, when he helped her move in a few weeks ago, carrying the sofa that was sitting opposite them now, she felt closer to him with the chunky piece of furniture blocking her view than she did across the table from him now, with nothing but their sheltering arms between. His full name fought to be heard once or twice during her bouts of talking, but Cass was the first to break the ice and take a sizable bite of her heart with it. This was an argument, one they haven’t seemed to have in a while, but the good streak couldn’t go on forever. The puzzle pieces had all began to fall into place and it was only a matter of time before one of them stuck out like a sore thumb. It only caught her off guard that it was the Cass piece of it all that did that, the one she felt so certain would give her no more grief after the holidays and the trip that liberated a confession of her feelings from her chest. How wrong she was, though...

“No, I said Valentine’s and trips we might take as in places we’d see together, experiences we’d have together. I’m sorry if that doesn’t satisfy your criteria of thoughts about the future, Cassidy.” She caught the ball he threw at her and was ready to serve it back over the net for him, the food before them forgotten in the light of their disagreement. “No, if we don’t have a discussion the conversation is waiting for a time when we’re both ready to have it. It’s not dead, it’s just not being forced on anyone who can’t fathom the idea of kids right now. You know why I’m afraid. And three months with you, no matter how incredible, can’t uproot a decade and a half’s worth of worry and fear. Until I’m happy with myself, feeling good in my skin, I don’t want to think about a child that I’ll put my worries and anxieties on. I’ve made enough messes in my life. A child— if I ever have one— will not be another.”

How did their relationship manager to mirror Jekyll and Hyde? The happy, loved up and content versions of themselves were Cass and Amelia, more laughter then they ever thought possible, tender and hungry kisses, no weight on their hearts. That was not the existence Cassidy and Amy got to enjoy, tongues that mirrored knives, physical separation that felt like an ocean of choppy and dangerous water between them, stubbornness and hurt. Love ran thick through all versions of them, an emotion that could never be removed from them, not any more. Cass didn't know why their periods of intense happiness tended to be punctuated by these, fights, big ones about their fundamental differences and all small ways that they didn't fit that grew so overwhelmingly big. He just hoped that one day, they'd stop. Please. He wants to be happy with his girl, that's it. Rationally, he knew that these things happened - two people who'd been on their own for more than a decade couldn't adjust to major positive life upheaval without having some bumps and bruises. This bruise, however, felt like it'd be hurting for longer than Cass wanted.

"Okay I didn't - I didn't say it didn't-" Cass tries to interrupt, mouth snapping shut when Amy calls him by his full name, shooting his dreams (and peace) in the face with each statement. The bearded blondes bottom teeth press into his upper one, unimpressed as he nods slowly. "So what I'm actually hearing is, in this future you've seen for yourself, it involves you only when a kids in the picture, and that's why you don't want it. You think you'd mess up a kid, and in this scenario you'd be alone, and I'm nowhere to be found. You can have that conversation with yourself, but not with me. Great. Awesome." So, so much more wants to spill out. Meaner words, ones he doesn't mean, that have the metallic tang of C.K.'s influence in them, ones he never wants to say, so he decides to take himself out of the situation. Cass moves his hair back from the table, legs scraping for a second on the floor, an uncomfortable noise that doesn't make the moment better. "Life doesn't wait for you to not be a mess, Amy. So you're a mess. I'm a mess, too! You know better than most, better than everyone the issues I had and still have that no one wanted to see before you. I was sleepwalking before I met you again. I still have bullshit I'm working through. So do you. I guess I should feel lucky that you're not worried this relationship in going to turn into a mess too," Cass bites out, standing up and striding to the kitchen, grabbing his keys off the counter. "And no. I don't know why you're afraid because you won't talk to me."

The third to last words kind of explodes out of him, frustration in every line of him. Taking a few deep breaths he braces his hands on the counter, squeezes baby blues shut and counts to three. When Cass opens them, they're clear, mostly, though anger and hurt still swirls through them. "I turn thirty three this year. You turn thirty four. You knew before we started dating, kissing even, that I wanted kids. I don't know how it makes me the asshole, the pusher, to ask that we could at least talk about the vaguest possibility of them. But that's fine," the eldest Kingston continues in a voice that very explicitly says it's not fine.  "We can table this until you're feeling happy and good in your skin, though even at the best points in my life I'm not sure I ever reached both of those goals. We'll wait, like we always do, until you're ready. Or when you think you're going to lose me, whatever seems to come first." Silence rings for a moment too long after that last statement, the  man who'd said it collecting his jacket, mainly because of what Cass hadn't said - that she wouldn't. Just because he didn't say it didn't mean the truth of it wasn't there, that nothing would ever be enough to push him out if her arms and her life, but the glaring lack of it's auditory realization was a slap almost to them both. "I'm going to go, before I say something I'll regret even more."

The oceanic swirl of his irises turned to cold, hard steel as Amy spat her arguments at him without giving him a chance to interject. He wanted to open the discussion, she thought, but had not considered the can of worms that hid just underneath, and now they both had to deal with it on a night when they were supposed to be happy and relaxed. There was no point to the conversation anymore: the walls had been lifted, the bridges drawn, and the fortresses around their hearts were now impenetrable. Their words bounced off the smooth stone like blunt arrows that had nothing to bite with and nothing to bite into: they talked without hearing, listened without understanding, and their minds had been made up even before the other one's voice quieted down. Communication, what Amy thought they could pride themselves on, now escaped them, and logic, too, gave them a wide berth. This was a conversation of two hurt people, each of their insecurities shining through, and as much as Amy wanted to reassure his place in her life, the future she saw but couldn't accept, the wounds he inflicted needed her attention first and foremost.

"And I didn't say that," she insisted, jaws jutting with frustration. "You're hearing what you want to hear, picking and choosing the parts that will support your own arguments." The accusation, the stubborn line of her lips, the surly turn of her eyebrows all made it known how she felt about their disagreement and what he was saying. "I'm not having a kid with anyone else, Cassidy. You're there if it happens, but I don't know what I want for the future, I just know you're a part of it. I want the good parts we've had, not this crap where we have to lock horns and refuse to budge."

Of course, that was a fairytale no reasonable person ever believed in. Nothing good ever came without something bad following it, a stipulation that loomed and stained. If she wanted the good with Cassidy, she would have to accept it came with the bad: with the fights, the unreasonable and rash behavior, the stubborn view on life that so often clashed with her own. It had to be that way. They were their own people, and Amy had been on her own for so long she forgot how to share herself, to open up and invite others in. Didn't really think there was any good for others to glimpse in the first place. Whatever the bone of contention between them in this moment, however, she had to agree that life wouldn't wait for them to sort themselves out before challenging them again, and she swallowed thickly the lump in her throat as Cass pushed himself away from the table and moved into the kitchen. The distance grew, and with it came a cold breeze that sparked worry deep within her guts. Cass had so rarely pulled away like this, it had always been Amy to draw a chasm between them and dare him to cross it, but now the tables have turned and she sat there, dumbfounded. What was she supposed to do?

The moment of dumbstruck confusion passed, however, as he spoke up in a calmer tone, putting it on her. She knew he wanted kids so she shouldn't have started anything if that was never going to change for her? Is that what he was saying? "And you knew I didn't see kids in my future, much like I knew what your vision was, so who's to blame about starting this all, huh?" She couldn't say what propelled her to make that accusation, but it was out there and she couldn't take it back. The more they argued the less she could tell him why, a lot of it coming down to petty spite. He was pushing her out of her comfort zone, and she would much rather drown than give him a logical explanation now, even if she was aware of how terrible it was.

All of that, however, they could have come back from. All of it, save for the last accusation, the grand finale that Cass saved right before the goodbye. Blinking her hazel eyes at him, paralyzed by the slap in the face he had given her, her fists clenched under the table, nails digging so deep into her flesh that the crescent moons would stay for a long time. Silence fell over them as tears pricked her eyes, drowning the swirl of gold and green against her will. "I'm sorry I'm always dragging you down. Sorry that I'm the anchor that keeps you from realizing your happiness. Sorry that my mental state is not good enough to keep up with yours. Maybe you shouldn't waste your time and wait for me." Restless, shaking with unbridled hurt and anger, Amy pushed herself up on her wobbly feet, grabbed the plate of dinner before her and threw it in the sink, untouched food and all. The crash echoed through the suddenly quiet room, ringing in her ears, a melody to accompany the mocking words he had uttered. "I can't imagine what that might be," she shook her head as she passed him, walking around him to get to the bathroom, the last sound she'd give him that night the sound of the key turning in the lock.

The only thing that interrupted the quick, dumbstruck, disbelieving thump of his heart was the crash of her plate in the sink, the catastrophic end to something that had started so bright and warm. He hadn't meant it. Fuck, to go back, to take back the knives their mouths had thrown at each other, hitting each and every sensitive spot with perfect accuracy. As too far as his jab was about them always waiting on her was, so was hers about leaving her behind, ending it with her, a suggestion he'd been sensitive to since the first time she'd pulled so fully away.  The tension in the air thickened and doubled with every moment, right fist holding so tightly to his car keys that his knuckles were white and pain bit into his palm, left fist crumpling the collar of his jacket. Amy disappears into the bathroom, her retreating back and slightly shaking form the last thing he sees, and suddenly it feels like a black hole has been punched in the middle of his chest. Silence reigned but it still didn't cancel the all too loud echo of what had happened, Cass's throat tight and pained. "Fuck." Is all he mutters in his deep voice, gaze dropping to the floor, the last thing he says before heading out her door and slamming it behind him.

#para: needs and wants #ft. cass #bet you thought these two were done locking horns #welP SURPRISE #i hate how stubborn they are sometimes #tldr; they are children who should not be allowed to have serious talks on empty stomachs #cass's parts are blockquoted

[the-goddess-of-change]

Claire looked around the lingerie store looking for something ''special'' but despite looking for a long time no one catches her eye ''Aww...this sucks and the cute ones are just to expensive...and i dont wanna order online because they always mess up...'' Claire sighs and picks out a pair of panties and head to the cashier and pays for the items as she heads over to the food court and gets herself something to drink and sits down by the mall fountain and looks around and at the people walking around ''And i need to deal with Evgeni as well...i like him but...i just dont think i need a boyfriend right now'' Claire sighs as she notices a young child walking up to the fountain and throws some money in it ''Aww...i remember i used to do that as a kid...'' Claire smiles to herself and opens her purse and gets out her wallet and finds some money ''i'm surprised i even have money...everything is digital now...'' Claire smiles to herself and throws some money into the well and makes a wish ''All i wish for is a bra that looks good and fits and that i get the courage to...talk to Evgeni..'' Claire smiles and finishes her drink and heads back to her car and drives it back home Meanwhile as i hear the car pull into the driveway i turn off the tv and walks over to see who it is i see Claire getting out of the car as i open the door and walk down to her ''Hey babe'' i say cheerfully as she looks at me with a faked smile ''Hey sweetie...had fun while i was gone?'' ''Just watched some tv...nothing special, had any luck at the mall ?'' ''No...but dont worry about it, i just had to find a present for a friend but i'm going to look someplace else tomorrow'' I nod at her as we walk inside as Claire heads to the bedroom and puts the panties in her drawer and walks back to me ''So...want me to make you some food or ?'' ''Sure...i think we got some pasta if you're hungry as well'' Claire nods and heads into the kitchen and starts preparing some food while i look down at my phone to see if anything new has happening but as usual nothing new ''Hey Evgeni sweetie, we got any cheese left ?'' i hear Claire yelling at me as i walk over to the kitchen and check in the fridge and finds some hidden behind some milk bottles ''here you got cutie'' i kiss her on the cheek and smile at her as i hand her the cheese and head back to my chair and sit down ''Food's ready'' Claire yells as soon as i sit down and head back into the kitchen and get my plate of food and sit down at the table kitchen looking over at Claire ''So...you okay ? you look a bit...distant'' i look over at Claire who is just staring into her food ''S-sorry'' she smiles ''i think iv'e just feeling a bit under the weather is all...'' ''oh ? getting sick ?'' ''i might be...i dont know, maybe i'm just tired...but i'm going out to train later so maybe that helps'' I nod at her as we finish our food and head back into the living room as Claire sits down on the sofa and looks at her phone ''Awww...my sister got engaged..'' Claire smiles ''Really ? that's great'' Claire nods slowly as we just stare at the TV for a while after a bit Claire walks into the bedroom and puts on her training outfit and heads back out to the living room ''okay, i'm going to the gym for a bit sweetie, ill be back soon, okay?'' I nod at her and kiss her cheek as she gets in the car and drives away While Claire is driving her car she stops by the parking loot and gets out her phone and calls up someone ''....pick up...'' ''Hello!'' a woman answer the phone ''Hey Katie! how are you ?'' ''i'm good, yourself?'' ''I'm okay but...i'm having a hard time talking to Evgeni about all this..'' ''Awww...you have to tell him sooner or later you know...'' ''Yeah i know...it's just hard, he's a nice guy and i just know this will break his heart..'' ''I know but you cant be around him if it makes you sad...'' ''I know...but i promise i will do it within the week then we...'' ''Then we ?'' ''We can get together you know...'' ''Awww, that is adorable Claire! you are so just so innocently cute sometimes!'' ''Thanks Katie...but i gotta go..the gym closes soon and i wanna get some work done before it closes....Love you'' ''Love you too cutie, and good luck with Evgeni! see you soon...soon to be girlfriend'' They both smile as they hang up on their phones and Claire heads into the gym Meanwhile back at Home i decide to take a shower and head into the bathroom and turn on the shower and step inside ''...i think maybe Claire gave me something...i feel nauseous...'' i sigh as i quickly finish up my shower and dry myself up and heads into the bedroom and lie down on the bed just looking up at the ceiling ''Maybe i'm getting sick as well...'' I sigh as i pull the blanket over myself and close my eye and before i know i fall asleep While sleeping i dream of myself and Claire just hanging out having fun as i'm woken up by something outside I open my eyes to see light shining trough the windows and the bed is empty but its clear someone slept next to me ''i...i guess i fell asleep...'' i yawn and get out of bed as i find Claire on the phone in the living room ''Oh...hey, morning'' Claire smiles at me as i yawn once again and rub my eyes ''Oh..morning Claire...sorry i fell asleep last night...'' ''It's fine, dont worry about it'' she looks down at the phone while answering me ''So..whats the plan for today'' i ask as i feel myself feeling rather strange ''I...i dont know...are you okay though ? you look...pale'' ''I think i'm getting sick is all...i'm going to take a shower'' i say and head into the bathroom and splash some water on my face as i look onto my reflection in the mirror and notice my eyes looks rather...black I turn on the shower and step inside as the hot water runs down my body hoping that will help a bit with what i'm feeling I dont know how long i was in the shower but when i step outside i can hear knocking on the door as i wrap myself in a towel and open it up to find Claire standing there ''....You okay ? you've been in there an hour...'' ''....that long ? i didn't notice...i'm just feeling a bit...i dont know...weird all over'' ''Oh ? maybe you need to lie down a bit...'' Claire looks at me worriedly I nod slowly as i start walking over to the bedroom as i lose my feelings in my legs and fall down on the floor ''Oh my god! are you okay ?!'' i hear Claire yelling at me as i'm lying against the cold wooden floor ''..Y-yeah...i think so...i just...lost feelings in my legs...'' I push myself up and sit down leaning against the wall as i'm still trying to move my legs without anything working ''i...i cant feel my legs...'' i say looking up at Claire who leans down next to me ''W-what ?'' ''i said i cant feel my legs...'' Claire looks at my legs and strokes her finger across it ''....felt...that ?'' i shake my head as i felt nothing as she stroked my legs with her finger ''what...how ?'' she looks at me ''I..i dont know...'' i start to freak out and trying to force myself to do something but no matter what i try nothing happen Claire looks at me while i look up at her as she slowly starts to back away and looks at me with a face of shock ''Y-your...legs...'' she stammers as i look over and notice my legs slowly start to pull themselves into my body i look at my feet going slowly into my stomach as i remove the towel and see that that my legs are getting pushed into my stomach ''What the hell!!!'' Claire yells and looks at me I open my mouth to talk to her but for some reason i can mouth the words to her, my tongue, my mouth just feel...dry My legs are now gone completely as i feel myself starting to lose balance as the same happens to my arms as i move my head to see them slowly shrink into my body as well Claire screams loudly...i think...i can see her mouth moving but i cant hear anything...i just look up at her with a confused look as if i'm understanding whats going on As my arms shrink into my body it feels like...almost hollow inside, i cant feel my heartbeat, nothing at all My mind starts to fade as i slowly lose vision as i take one final breath as Claire looks down at me while i continue to change She looks at me as my skin slowly turns black, my shoulders slims into forming two black straps and my skin and body slowly starting to turn into something else my skin slowly turns into a nice soft fabric like texture as my head slowly goes into my body as well Claire looks at me full of terror and shock as she picks up one single black bra left on the floor and looks at it ''...Ah...I...You...Evgeni...i....what....you...'' she speaks in shattered sentences as she just holds the bra and looks at it as she remembers the little playfull wish with no further meaning behind it ''I...You...Because...my...i...you...we...'' she says nothing and just holds me and heads into the bedroom and sits down on the bed holding the bra looking down on it and tries to calm herself down ''O-okay..C-calm down Claire...you just witnessed....something...but...'' she looks at the bra once again ''...it..it is what i wanted...it looks perfect...but but...Evgeni...'' She takes a deep breath and takes of her top and her bra and slowly put me on ''...it fits..perfectly...oh my god...'' As she looks at her reflection in the mirror she can hear something faint ''H-Hello...?'' she hears a voice this time clearer ''Hello?!'' Claire looks around the room ''Hey..?'' she says awkwardly ''C-claire ? where...whats going on ? i cant..i cant see...but i can feel...something..'' ''W-wait...Evgeni...? is that you?'' ''Y-yeah...what..what happened ? i cant see..'' ''i...i dont think...you will believe it but i think...you turned into a bra...and i can hear your thoughts...'' ''...W-w-what...? i did what ?'' ''You turned into my bra i said Evgeni...i dont...i mean...i think...i think i know why but...'' ''What ? how ? why?'' ''W-well...i made a wish at the wishing well at the mall asking for the perfect bra and...'' ''A-And...i become your bra...because of that ?'' ''Well i dont got a better explanation if you dont!'' Claire sits back down on the bed ''....'' i say nothing as i dont know what to think or feel...'' ''B-but since you can hear me does that mean....'' ''That i'm wearing you right now ? yeah...yeah it does Evgeni and...'' ''And...?'' i say ''And...this might be...'' Claire sighs ''Our best chance to talk'' ''Talk...about what ? i think we got more pressing matters...'' ''I know but i dont know how to fix that! but anyway! i...i'm breaking up with you...'' ''W-what ? Breaking up...? why...?'' ''well...i...i'm in love with someone else...'' ''Who...is it that guy from the mall...?'' ''It's not a guy Evgeni...its...Katie...a girl...'' ''O-oh...i..i see...i...i understand...'' ''R-really ?'' ''Y-yeah i mean...you dont like guys....that is all but why me then ?'' ''You were nice to me..treated me good and we had fun but i just never felt...attracted to you...i guess it was just...safety...sorry...'' ''....'' i say nothing as i just wait for Claire to say something ''Well...i will...i will do my best to get you back to a human okay ? i'm going to the mall now to make a new wish! okay ?'' ''Yeah...i dont really like this...at all...it feels...weird...'' Claire stands up and puts back her top on ''Weird how ?'' ''Well...i can feel your breasts against me...and i just...i dont know'' Claire just giggles and heads to the car and drives as quick as she can to the mall and gets out her purse and throws some money into the fountain ''i wish that Evgeni turns back into normal'' she says to herself as she just sits down next to it on a bench ''there...maybe it takes a while for it to work but i did it...'' ''Mhm...Thanks Claire..'' Claire sits down on the Bench as her phone calls, she checks the phone and sees its Katie and picks up ''Hey Katie'' ''Hey cutie! whats up ?'' ''Uhm...A lot of stuff but nothing right now but i broke up with Evgeni! so i cant wait to meet you!'' ''Really ? oh my god, that is amazing! How did it go ?'' ''it went well, he took it good but when are you coming home ?'' ''Awww, that's great and i get home in about a week...so ill see you then! but i gotta go! just quickly wanted an update im at the store and i gotta pay so call you later! bye bye'' ''Bye bye Katie, love you'' they both hang up ''...That was her right ?'' ''Mhm...Katie...i've met her a couple of times and we've been talking for a couple of months...she's really nice and perfect...S-sorry..'' ''its fine...'' We dont really talk much after that, Claire sits on the Bench while i just...try to make more sense of this whole situation After an hour of silence i can feel Claire is moving around ''....So...'' ''So...?'' ''what if it takes a while before i turn back...?'' ''...I'm sure it wont Evgeni...it will be fine'' ''I dont like this...'' ''i am not really fond of wearing my Ex-boyfriend either Evgeni but...you want to just be left in a drawer ?'' ''...i dont know...i dont think so...'' ''Well maybe it will help ?'' ''You think so...?'' Claire shrugs ''i dont know...but lets head home..'' I can feel Claire getting into the car and driving back home as she steps into the bathroom and undresses ''okay...im going to take you off while i take a shower now..tell me what happens...okay?'' ''Okay...i will...'' i say as Claire takes me off and puts me down on the floor While im lying on the floor unable to move or do anything i feel...afraid and lonely and this...weird feeling It's like i'm feeling naked almost and i have this...just feeling i have to support her breasts... I want to scream for help but no one listens to me as i can feel the hot floor against my fabric I cant stand this anymore! the more i'm lying there all i can feel is i am nothing...im useless No one is wearing me, i want her breasts against my fabric...not for..the pleasure but because its...its what i am... After what feels like an eternity i can feel something wet picking me up as i once again feel her soft skin against my fabric again ''So..how was that...?'' Claire asks ''...A-Awful...'' ''Oh ? why ?'' ''I dont know if i can explain but i felt...lonely...useless...naked...'' ''How ?'' ''Because..i think its because what i am...A bra without a purpose is nothing...it's like i want to support you...not because i like it but because it feels...right...'' ''Well...im' sorry but maybe this make it a bit better'' Claire says and strokes her bra with her finger ''...What helps ?'' ''you didn't feel that ? i touched you..'' ''I...i didn't i think i just feel...the insides if that makes sense...'' ''it really doesn't Evgeni...'' Claire sighs and walks over to the living room and sits down and turns on the tv while i try to figure out things about my new self An Unknown time later Claire looks over at Katie and smile at her ''So..that is that story over with'' ''I still just cant believe it..Evgeni is that..?'' she says and pokes Claire's bra ''But for how long ?'' And that is when i finally hear it ''It's been...1 month now...its...permanent...'' ''So..he is just stuck like that ?'' Claire nods at Katie as Katie giggles ''And he can't hear me ?'' ''No...but he has...sorta...changed a lot'' ''Oh ? in what way ?'' ''Well...he told me to start calling him Lace...'' ''Oh, since its a Lace bra right ?'' Claire nods ''And he has really...i dont know...'' ''Tells!'' Katie giggles and kisses Claire on the lips ''I dont think he even has any humanity left...'' ''When he does talk all he talks about is my breasts and how soft they feel and how he likes supporting me more than anything'' ''Aww...that is both weirdly sweet and cute at the same time'' Claire giggles and nods ''okay okay, ill try to talk to him now'' Claire smiles at Katie as she speaks to herself ''Hey...Lace....?'' ''Yes mistress...?'' ''How are you ?'' ''I feel good...i love that you wear me and tell me stuff about yourself and your girlfriend...i'm happy for you'' ''But dont you feel...you dont want to go back ?'' ''Being what i was before...? it seems so long ago...it scares me going out there now...'' ''So you're happy...Lace ?'' ''Yes mistress....I am a happy...i...i dont want to go back'' Claire looks at Katie and smiles ''You dont want to go back...?'' ''It has been so long and i dont remember much...i remember...some things but..it sorta just...it's all...i cant explain'' ''But for now...and forever...you are happy being a bra ?'' ''Yes mistress...and...i dont want to be human...dont ever change me back...'' ''You know what Lace...i wont and this might sound weird but...you sound more...girly, like your...voice'' ''i...i dont know what you mean by that....All i know is that i'm your support...your clothing and your breasts feels good today...'' Katie giggles '' So C'mon, what did it say ?'' ''Well, Lace is happy...dont wanna go back and i think being on me for so long has kinda twisted his memories a bit so i think...im just going to accept that i got a talking feeling bra and forget it was ever my Ex-boyfriend'' ''Awww...so evil but so cute at the same time!'' Katie cuddles up next to Claire and smile I dont really know what happened after that...i didnt really talk much but Claire kept wearing me so i was happy either way Slowly forgetting about being human...only living for this one simple thing and being happy with it...not more not less Sometimes when she takes me off i'm sad and lonely though...but then someone puts me back on...her voice sounds different but i dont think it matters i'm still being used and someone likes me for what i am...what i am...A simple...black...laced...bra

#tg #tf #tftg #ttgstory

[jacobeblack]

New Girl (Jacob Black love story)

Paul?! Prt-3

Jacob's PoV

"Hey Em sorry were late! Quil promised Claire he would go visit her as soon as he was done with patro..." Heading into the kitchen to apologise to Emily before we got our usual lecture I trailed off mid sentence at I made eye contact with a girl I've never seen before.

She had the most beautiful hazel green eyes I've ever seen it was like they were pulling me closer to her, suddenly it was like my whole world shifted around me and she became it's centre. Nothing else mattered to me in that moment but the girl standing opposite me. Her hair pulled away from her beautiful face, her mouth slightly agape as she stared back at me. What was her name? Why was she here? Not that that mattered to me so much. SHE was here standing I front of ME, the reason I was put on this planet. My entire reason for being what I am. My imprint!

The thought suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks, she's my imprint! it's her. My mind swirled with so many emotions: surprise, happiness, relief and somewhere deeper sadness.

I felt my feet carrying me to her before my brain had caught up, it was like an impulse to be close to her. Emily's gasp and the sound of a pan hitting the floor caused me to break eye contact with her as the rest of the guys rushed into the room.

Looking at each of them I knew they had realised what had just happened. Giving them all a knowing look and pleading eyes to say nothing I drew my attention back the the girl. She had made her was over to Emily and was helping her pick up the mess she had made.

Setting everything back on the counter and turning back to face us all she stood awkwardly beside Emily, pulling the sleeves of her sweater over her hands playing with the cuffs. I took this time to run my eyes down the rest of her body noticing her small frame, long legs despite appearing to be an average height and obviously much smaller then me. Her oversized clothing prevented me from seeing much else -which I was disappointed by- so I trailed my eyes back to her face. Noticing again her big beautiful eyes -that I'm sure I will be dreaming about- surrounded by thick dark lashes, her cute nose and full lips that made me clench my jaw and have to take a slow breath.

She looked more than a little uncomfortable and I wanted to do nothing more that to run to her side and make her feel better. Seeing as I was probably one of, if not the main reason she looked like a deer caught in headlights at this moment I kept my feet planted on the ground much to the imprints disapproval.

I was more than a little shocked that it was Paul who came to her rescue. Wrapping his arm around her shoulder and pulling her into his side he gave me a smug look that made me want to rip his arm off and beat him to death with it.

"Guys this is Ren, Ren this is Quil, Embry and Jacob"

Paul spoke gesturing between us all. Ren? That had to be short for something. Don't get me wrong it's beautiful like everything else about her but it was bugging me slightly not knowing her actual name. From my right I heard Quil speak.

"Ren? What kind of name is Ren? Not being rude but it's kinda...weird" Snapping my head round to tell him to shut the hell up! I opened my mouth to speak but before I could say a word she spoke with the most mesmerising voice I've ever hear.

"Maybe in future you should keep thoughts like that to yourself! Umm Quil? Right? Somehow I don't think you of all people should be questioning anyone's name" She sent him a glare that was obviously joking before her face softened to a smile as the rest of us laughed at the now seriously embarrassed Quil.

Sam came to stand beside Emily reaching over her head to mess Rens hair.

"See quick! I told you she'd fit in just fine" He laughed giving Paul a wink as she pushed his hand from her head.

How long had she been here to gain that kind of playfulness with Sam of all people.

A feeling of jealousy turned in my stomach as I watched Paul tickle her causing her to squirm further into his side. It was nowhere near as strong as the second wave I got when he tried to detach himself from her to leave and she quickly grabbed onto his arm. Gazing up to him with a look of horror as he tried to leave her. He laughed at her pulling his arm out of her grasp

"Don't worry princess, these three idiots are harmless, although they might annoy you to death, but that is something not even your knight in shining armour wants to stick around to save you from" He squeezed her shoulder before turning to leave the room Jared in tow, Sam and Emily close behind.

Glaring at him all the way I turned back to my imprint, she had turned her back to us and was cutting up lemons, muttering under her breath. "cazzo! ricordami di nuovo perché mi sono fidato di lui per portarmi qui?"

Obviously she had no idea that we could hear her thanks to the heighten wolf hearing, not that it mattered as it clearly wasn't English. Knowing she speaks a different language only made her more fascinating to me, finally giving into the wolf inside me who was screaming at me to know everything about her I finally opened my mouth.

"So umm Ren, what brings you down here? We don't get many visitors outside of the pa.. um group?" I managed to stutter out.

I've never been so nervous to talk to someone in my life, but I guess I've never spoken to someone so important in my life before, and of course I had to make myself sound like a complete idiot, way to go Jake!

Putting down the knife she turned around looking between all three of us but giving me no eye contact. Maybe she felt it too! The pull, the feeling in the pit of my stomach? It's not something I've ever actually asked.

I mean it's not like I could ask Claire she's two, Kim was already obsessed with Jared before he imprinted on her so she probably wouldn't even know the difference and I try to stay out of the whole Sam/Emily imprint fiasco as much as I possibly can so I've never asked her. If she did feel it will that make this whole imprinting thing any easier?

"Umm I guess Paul invited me..kinda" She answered sending us what seemed to be a nervous smile rather than a genuine one.

Paul? How did he know her? She couldn't be a new girl he's stringing along because one: he'd never bring one of them here and if he did Sam would not be so happy about it.

Two: if she was some new girl it had to be very very new. I was patrolling with him yesterday I would have heard him think about her or worse picture her like I had see with may other girls he's had flings with.

Thirdly she just can't be with Paul it's against the rules for a start -not that he would have known because I only imprinted on her like five minutes ago but that's besides the point- but I don't think I could handle her being with someone else but especially not one of my pack brothers!

Embry must have sensed my panic even without wolf telepathy and stepped in before I could say something else that would probably be stupid.

"And how do you know Paul exactly? He's not usually one for making friends" He smirked as he sat on the counter next to her.

She sighed pulling at her sleeves again clearly something she did when she was uncomfortable.

"He... saved me I suppose" She laughed nervously, a whole new kind of panic took over my brain and I found myself walking closer to her my eyes scanning her body for injury.

"Saved you? From what? Are you okay? Are you hurt? What happened?" I rambled coming to stand directly in front of her.

Placing my hand on her arm but suppressed the urge that was coarsening through my veins to pull her into my chest just by being this close to her. Her laugh broke me out of my panic but only replaced it with confusion.

"Whoa big guy! I'm fine I'm not hurt, I got myself lost in the woods. I only just moved here and stupidly though I could roam around on my own, luckily Paul found me before I was eaten by wild animals and brought me back here!" She laughed pushing my hand off her arm and taking a step around me to the fridge.

Going in and grabbing the pitcher of lemonade, I took a few steps back as she came to stand at the counter once again.

"You really shouldn't be going into the woods by yourself Ren it's dangerous even if you do know your way around" I said trying to hold back the sterness of my voice.

I don't want her to think I was telling her what to do but the protective side of the imprint was not happy with the thought of her wandering on her own, not when leeches are around anyway!

"Yeah don't worry about that! It was not a fun experience and I don't plan on repeating it any time soon. But umm thanks for the concern Jacob" She turned and smiled at me

"It's Jake, all my friends call me Jake" She looked up at me though her long lashes a smirk playing on her lips

"Oh yeah? Well who said we were friends"

————————————————————-

About an hour later we had all eaten dinner and I was in the kitchen washing up. Not something I usually volunteer for but I needed five minutes to myself to think about what had just happened it was all a lot to take in, and of course I didn't want Ren to think I just sit around and let Emily do all the work.

I was lost in my own train of thought when I heard her voice break through.

"Well I don't mean to be rude but I should really be getting home my mom will probably be going out of her mind and Max will be missing me" She said politely as I could her her chair scrape across the wooden floor.

Who is Max is he her boyfriend,her dad maybe? But why would she call him Max? Maybe it's her brother? Ugh this is all giving me a headache

"Jacob? I'm leaving but it was nice to meet you! I'll maybe see you around sometime" Or all the time! I thought as I turned to her.

An idea came to me and I walked over to the door way she was standing in.

"I'll take you home if you want, can't have you getting lost again" i suggested staring  down into her beautiful eyes

A few seconds passed before she opened her mouth to speak, unfortunately I never got to hear what she had to say as Paul interrupted

"No need Cinderella! I already said I'd take her. Was actually the main bargaining point to get her to come back with me in the first place! Come on princess we don't have all day" He took her by the hand and dragged her to the front door as I stayed in the door way and watched.

She made her way down the steps and he followed her but not before turning to send me a wink.

The jealousy from earlier returned not only because he thinks it's okay to call MY imprint pet names in front of me just to piss me off! But he clearly thinks he has some kind of bond on her just because he's known her a whole hour longer than I have and I don't know if I'm okay with her feeling the same.

Something tells me this ain't gonna be as easy as it's supposed to be.

*A/N The part that's in a different language is Italian, unfortunately I don't speak Italian so it has been translated from English so if any of you do speak Italian and it's wrong I'm sorry! It's supposed to say

"Dick! Remind me again why I trusted him to bring me here?"

Please let me know what you think guys!

#quil ateara #werewolf #wolf pack #wolfpack #emily young #edward cullen #embry call #andrea russett #taylor lautner #twilight #young #sam uley #jacob black imagine #oc #paul lahote #la push #bella swan #seth clearwater #fanfic #jared cameron #jacob #jacob black #leah clearwater

[writefasttalkevenfaster]

Jack McCoy / Nothing to Fear

For my Grace and Frankie anon: 

“After I watched the episode with Sol comforting Frankie during an earthquake I thought a similar scenario with Jack/ reader would be adorable. Him comforting them during a storm or something? I love you and your stories :)”

To be honest, I had a hard time writing this. I had to start over just because I hated my first draft so much. But I realized what I was missing was, pardon the pun since this is about a lightning storm, the electricity between Jack and the reader. The spark.

However, with Hurricane Irma just on the horizon for Florida, I suppose since we’re talking about storms, its only fitting that I hope everyone there are staying safe and all is well <3. To those also in all the other places affected by the storm as well! Sending all my prayers and love to everyone affected. Anyway! Please enjoy!

“Nothing to fear, but fear itself,” You muttered under your breath, sighing. FDR was a braver person than you. Though you faced down criminals in court each day, each committing more heinous crimes than the one before, but even so, you glanced out the window as lightning lit up the sky in the distance, there were still things that unsettled you. Another crack of thunder made you jump out of your skin. This time it was louder than before, nearly deafening, your body stiffened as you stopped dead in your tracks. Your heart nearly stopped, and you couldn’t catch your breath, as if it had ran off without you. Okay, so perhaps, a bit more than unsettled. You sighed, frustrated with yourself, as you grabbed a file you had to hand over to Jack at this afternoon at 2 PM, you spotted the time, 1:47 PM. And the clock was ticking. 

You thought back to the other night with Jack, his lips against yours, igniting a fire in your stomach and burning a path of kisses down your neck. It couldn’t happen again. It shouldn’t. You had told yourself to stay away from him, to distance yourself. But you couldn’t. Or more like you wouldn’t. Because you didn’t want to. Maybe you should quit. A quick and easy solution, you saw the raindrops streaming down the window. No mess, no tears, no complicated rumors. Just a relationship. But you couldn’t bring yourself to do that either. Perhaps, if you had never left home for New York, you wouldn’t find yourself with this dilemma. You strode over to your desk, only for another crack of thunder to scare the wits out of you, as darkness suddenly surrounded you, sending the file flying out of your hand, papers rained down from above. But days like this, made you think maybe you should’ve. 

Just at that moment, Jack wandered in, holding a flashlight, and taking in the scene before him. “Trying to give the janitorial staff more work to do?” You didn’t bite back with a retort, only frozen in fear for several moments, as your eyes shifted to acknowledge his presence. “Y/N?” 

You were pulled from your reverie, realizing he said something. “Sorry? What did you say?” Your eyes looked down to see the papers scattered all over your previously pristine office. “Look at this mess,” You groaned, covering your face, before you knelt and began to pick them up. Your hands were still shaking from before, your eyes unable to meet his own, as you hyper-focused on the task at hand. 

He shined his light on the floor, trying to sort through them. “Just leave it, Y/N,” You only ignored his words, continuing with your progress, and he finally sighed, placing the flashlight on the desk, before joining you on the floor. As he picked up papers, he squinted out to corner of his eye, trying to decipher the expression on your face. Your forehead was furrowed, the lines prominent and tight, while your eyes remained trained on the ground, your shoulders tense, as your movements seemed forced, a method of focusing on anything else but the present. Unfortunately, you couldn’t both focus on something and block your ears, as the next crack of the thunder was the loudest yet, even shaking the building. Jack got to his feet to glance outside, that couldn’t have been more than a few blocks down. His gaze turned back to you, only to find your face buried in your hands, cowering and shivering in fear. “Hey, what’s wrong?” 

“I’m fine!” You waved him off, not very convincing as you said so, still shaking as you said so. “I just need a minute…” 

Jack knelt down next to you, sitting down with resignation. You glanced at him, confused as he moved beside you. “Well, I’m not going to let you sit on the floor alone,” Your shoulders brushed against each other as you sat in silence, the storm still raging, and each time the thunder clapped, he saw your eyes squeeze shut in terror. “Y/N, we’re inside a building, we’re safe. The storm can’t get to us in here,” As he wrapped his arm around you, you pushed it away.  

“I’m not an idiot, I know,” You snapped, eyes full of rage as tears slid down your cheeks. He wilted, as he watched you wipe away your tears. “I just have a lot of not so pleasant memories associated with thunderstorms,” You sighed, putting your head back against the desk. And so, Jack waited, for both the storm and your anger to roll over. And as he expected, both did. The storm quieted, the pitter patter of raindrops barely audible. You sighed, catching his attention. “I’m sorry for yelling at you,” You whispered, shame pulling at your features, as your lower lip quivered as if you were going to start crying any moment. “It’s just…” 

“You don’t have to tell me, Y/N,” Jack cut you off, his eyes serious. “You don’t owe me an explanation, you know,” 

Your eyes were heavy, lidded even. The anxiety washed away, replaced with bitter reality. “I know,” You turned to him, clearing your throat, as the two of you sat amidst a mess in a barely visible room. He could still make out your features, loose strands of hair lightly brushing against your shoulder, your shoulders drooped, and eyes full of remorse. “There was a storm in my hometown. I was five at the time. I had always been afraid of thunderstorms. My mother would always hold me to her chest, and make me feel like everything was going to be okay. That I was safe,” You gave a derisive chuckle, shaking your head at the almost ludicrous thought now. “My mother hadn’t taken the storm as seriously as she should’ve. She was a local, she had lived through worse. She was never afraid of anything,” Your voice wavered, but you trudged on through the memory. “She went outside to take down some clothes she up on a clothesline. That’s when a tree branch from the neighbor’s oak tree was struck by lightning, and…” You broke off, but Jack only looked down. “And I’ve had the phobia since. It gets better, most days it doesn’t even bother me, but it’s almost the anniversary of her death, and I guess I’m still not over it,” 

“Y/N, it’s okay that you aren’t,” Jack’s voice was heavy, strained even, as he sighed. “It’s never easy to lose someone you love,” His expression was wistful, far away. “But you can’t let it control you either, even though it’s easy to. Then we wouldn’t be any different than the people we arrest,” He got to his feet, holding a hand out to you. 

“You’re talking about Claire, aren’t you?” You saw him hesitant, and that was enough of an answer for you. “You don’t-” 

“I know,” He echoed your words, “But I was, there are some days I walk in and expect to see her, and there are others I don’t think about her at all. I don’t know which scares me more,” You took his hand, as he hoisted you up, and the lights came back on. He clicked the flashlight off, “Well, we don’t need this anymore,” 

But you ignored his remark, “Jack, she would want you to happy,” His hands were his pocket, as he stared out the window at overcast skies, the rain a distant memory. You sat back down on your couch, curled on one side, allowing him space to join you. 

“I know,” He said in a small voice, but then he turned. “I suppose I fear I’ll forget her one day,” His eyes wandered your form, locking with your own. “that I’ll fall in love with someone else, and she would only be a distant memory,” He sat beside you, his knee brushing against your own. 

“’Nothing to fear but fear itself,’” You recited yet again, Jack raised an eyebrow. “My mother used to say that to me,” 

“I do like FDR, but I always thought bravery wasn’t the absence of fear, but the willingness to confront it,” His hair fell onto his forehead, and almost if by habit, you brushed it away, but you didn’t stop there. Your hand made its journey down his face, running your hand down the side of his face and then stopping to hold his warm cheek, until your fingertips brushed against his chin. His face tilted downwards as you did, placing a light kiss to those curious fingers. 

“Jack,” You whispered, his breath hot against your fingers. You loved how breathless he got when you said his name, audibly hitching. He leaned in, his hand against your thigh, his lips brushing against your own for the second time. CRACK! You jumped, leaving his lips for a moment, only to have him pull you back, but this time into his chest. 

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you,” He whispered against your hair, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. And he held you, until the storm passed, along with your fear.

#jack mccoy #jack mccoy x reader #jack mccoy x oc #ada rafael barba #law and order #law and order svu #law and order: special victims unit #law and order imagine #svu imagine #svu #special victims unit #mccoy #jack mccoy imagine #jack mccoy imagines #jack mccoy fanfiction #law and order fanfiction