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g1rlken · 3 months

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⊹ ࣪˖Dreadful Birthdays⊹ ࣪˖

Felix catton x rich fem!reader

Word count: 3.3k

Warnings: angst, shitty father, death of a parent, hurt comfort, childhood trauma, curse words?

Summary: start of a friendship on a lie to umbrella issues with opening up, fluff?

Standing outside, away from the party in a quieter atmosphere to attend a phone call in the small of the currently empty smoking zone garden outside the pub. Wearily y/n paced around in small steps as she talked on the phone, “But why?” She asked in distressed as voice on the other line seemed to reason something. “My break’s not that long I can’t come next month! You said-“ she was cut off with a reply on the call midway.

“Why do you always do this? Why does it always have to be this way?” She argued yet a faint softness remained in her tone despite her frustration. “This is really unfair-you can’t do this to me last minute-“ the ongoing call was declined from the other like halfway through her sentence as she heard the monotone beep. She felt like throwing her phone on the ground, instead she kicked the metal vase instead. “Fucking arsehole!” She cursed to herself as a clearing of throat made her turn her head.

“Everything alright out here?” Felix asked her, he’d came out for a cigarette in the smoking zone but happened to listen the last of whatever ordeal she was going through with someone on the phone and seemed hugely upset about it.

“Oh-uh yeah.” She nodded hastily somewhat embarrassed he may have heard that and her swearing at the metal vase. Felix didn’t exactly know her, but y/n did. Like everyone’s dynamic with the ever so charming Felix.

“You’re..” he trailed off trying to remember her name because he did recognise her from some of their past meetings and he’d seen her around campus often, “Y/n? Yes y/n right? You were the TA last semester who returned assignments with stickers.” He mentioned and chuckled slightly.

“I’ve gained a reputation with the English majors?” She joked raising her brows with a small smile, surprised he remembered her.

“Rightfully so.” He nodded smiling, “I’m Felix.” He introduced himself lending out his hand for her to greet as she accepted but let out a huff.

“I know you.” She said in an obvious tone and reciprocated the smile on his face.

“So who was the fucking arsehole on the phone?” Felix inquired curiously given she didn’t seem so composed just a few moments ago.

“Oh that-“ she paused taking in a deep breath for a second, she contemplated a whole coursework worth of thoughts and stories on wether or not to tell him the truth. “It’s was my boyfriend…” she trailed off, lying. “Stupid argument.” She added feeling awfully strange what it was that came over her to outrightly lie.

“What happened?” He asked, now interested as he leaned by the table and lit a cigarette offering her the second puff.

She took him up on the offer for his cigarette as she took a moment to think through her supposed lie “It’s nothing huge really…” she said trying to downplay is so he would maybe not be interested in it.

“Come on, honour the cig.” He urged her with his charm as she took another drag and retuned his cigarette to him.

Coming up with a hastily put together story, “I’m long distance with my boyfriend currently, he’s uh studying code in Estonia and he was coming here so we could spend the summer break together” she sighed. “But he signed up on a project there and bailed on me last minute.” She briefed him feeling proud and miserable of herself for having a peculiar story like that right off the top of her head.

“What an arsehole indeed” he replied matching her frustration as he scoffed “How dare he sign up a stupid project with a girlfriend as pretty as you?” Felix gave her his chivalrous smile, knowingly flirting with her but her boyfriend was a douche so it was alright.

“How awfully kind of you.” Y/n said playfully rolling her eyes at him as their night progressed in dumb conversations of here and there it was 4 in the morning by the time the pub waiter asked them to leave. They talked until sunrise and that is how y/n befriended Felix.

Despite the lie that the actual phone conversation was with her father and not a fake boyfriend in Estonia like she told him, “Then you can fly in for the weekend after this month, we’ve got a big launch for the company and if you’re here then the PR team will want you at the inauguration and I don’t want that. I don’t want you around on big company occasions, too much trouble as it is.” Her father said sternly on the phone, the rich were shallower than it seemed.

“Why do you always do this? Why does it always have to be this way?”

“Stop being so dramatic and grow up for a second” he told her off sighing, “You are not wanted here. You can’t come home now, I don’t want you to be associated with the company whatsoever. I don’t want the ‘dad’ rep on me with you. Simple as that.” He said to her harshly as he pronounced the word you in an exaggeratedly disgusted sense. As she tried to whine more about how unfair it was to her last minute he simply declined the call not wanting to handle any more of her tantrums.

Those two weeks of her friendship with felix blossomed and proved to be rather wholesome. Y/n was genuinely glad for his company, the charm of him could never make one feel unwanted. Felix hated not having his new friend for all of summer, it took quite a lot of convincing and begging on his side to get her to come to saltburn with him. Firstly y/n was really unsure if she could do so given they had been friends for just two weeks despite the closeness of their bond. Secondly if her father found out about her rendezvous, not that he’d care whatever she was upto but he would be mad if it could somehow bring a bad light upon him. Which in itself was a rare case because as felix stated his estate was in a remote place and she felt she could live her summer on her terms.

“You are crushing my eyes!” She exclaimed giggling as felix tightly held his palm over her eyes and his other hand guiding her through the large hallway to the decorated living room, for her. It was a well planed surprise so he didn’t want her looking through the gaps of her fingers at the last moment before the whole thing.

“Just a second” He told her as y/n felt him guiding her into a room where the conversations silenced themselves when he entered with her. Finally he pulled his hand away and held her from her shoulders. “Surprise!” The entire room echoed as confetti spread across the elegant happy birthday decorations. “Did you think I wouldn’t find out if you didn’t tell me?!” He exclaimed laughing as leaned forward from behind her and wrapped his arm around her.

Y/n was overcome with emotions as everyone cheered on happy birthday and surprise, Farleigh still bursting the confetti cracker. Felix attempted to walk across the room to take the covered plate from his hands,“How’d you know?” She held his wrist to stop him and asked him, hugely struck with the surprise.

“Your TA, I-card which you wore around like a badge of honour, it had your birth date mentioned.” He told her as he laughed and gave her a side hug when Elspeth approached her. Felix paced away for a moment to get the cake from Duncan.

“Felix shall throw you a godawful themed party or so later but I wanted to cherish you in a more traditional manner.” She said warmly as she held her by her face and kissed her forehead, the traditionalism of birthdays was long lost with the children growing up into party animals however the grand hall could have used a soft and sober gathering of the occasion of a birthday. Besides she really liked y/n, amongst all of felix’s wild friends she was awfully gorgeous and tender of heart.

“Thank you-“ Was all she could reply, extremely overwhelmed at this moment. “Really-“ she added feeling her gratitude shortening but nobody in this room would realise how big this was for her. She was soon pulled away with all the birthday hugs and warm wishes, a room full of people..gathering at 12 to celebrate her? With her? This was the hardest breakdown she had ever had to fight back.

Venetia pulled her to the table where Felix rearranged the candles on her cake for the final time. The sight of the cake with her name, the hugs she was receiving. She couldn’t hold it in anymore as tears brimmed her eyes. “Hey” Felix noticed as he leaned a bit lower to look at her eyes when she looked away confirming tears welled up her eyes. He couldn’t help but laugh, it was adorable to note how sensitive she was. “Hey…come here!” He pulled her into his embrace with his arms holding her from the side.

“Come on!” Venetia laughed along as she fixed y/n’s hair “don’t cry, you want your pictures perfect.” She said trying to cheer her up.

“God I’m sorry-“ she said shaking her head and pulled away from felix’s embrace as they sat next to each other by her birthday cake and everyone around them, “I’m just—I’m really touched by this, I-I don’t think I can come up with words that could hold my gratitude right now…” she said through her tears as felix chuckled wiping them “Truly, this means the world to me-you’ve all shown me such affection and-I-“

“By the time you finish that speech we’re all going to be in dentures” Farleigh said growing impatient and received an elbow via Venetia.

“Im sorry-this is just very thoughtful of everybody…” y/n said with a chuckle as she wiped her tears yet the hurt in heart where they came from lingered alongside the joy of such experience.

“Blow the candles!” Felix encouraged as he rubbed her back. She was about to when she was urged to make a wish. Closing her eyes with a big smile on her face she did so and the celebration furthered. Just another cake cutting at saltburn was going to be the most treasured memory for y/n.

Later that night, almost two in the morning the birthday giggles hadn’t yet died down as y/n lounged with felix in her guest room. She sat legs crossed by the stone bay window as the moonlight reflected through the room. “You really love that cake don’t you?” Felix commented leaning back on the chair across her as he laughed.

“It’s my birthday cake!” She exclaimed emphasising on the word my. It was as it is her third plate of the night.

“Whatever the birthday girl wants.” Felix said chuckling and remembered “Hey has our Mr.Arsehole called yet?” He asked and leaned backwards to look at the time on the clock, as her boyfriend he should’ve called her when the clock struck midnight.

Her face fell at the mention of it, she was planning to tell him sooner or later that she made that up. But she was looking to end that facade at a better time, it had been over a month now searching for that better time. She couldn’t keep her best friend in the dark like this. “Look I have to tell you something about that…”

“You guys broke up?” He asked almost instantly as if he was hoping for it however he kept his tone neutrally curious.

“I don’t have a boyfriend who’s studying in Estonia” she breathed as she sat her plate aside “I-I made that up when we met.” Felix was dumbfounded for a second he couldn’t wrap his head around what she was trying to say. “Look…when we met I just wanted to seem like an interesting person to you I didn’t think we’d become friends like this-“

“And this whole time you didn’t think you should tell me?” He inquired sternly as a frown fell on his face. Felix felt as enraged as he did hurt, “I’d never have considered you to be a two faced person like that!” He scorned standing up from his seat to account for his frustration.

“I’m not!” Exclaiming she replied sensing the rightful hurt and anger radiating off of him, “Felix, seriously I was planning to tell you about this.”

“When? When were you planning to tell me huh?” He asked as he rested his hands on his waist demanding an answer.

She didn’t have an answer for that because she knew this conversation would lead a follow up conversation which would require her to explain about her father to him, that situation is what she was running from. “I..I am sorry felix.” She said. She felt awful not being able to say ‘hear me out.’ Because he so clearly wanted to, he wanted the rational explanation she had but couldn’t tell him.

“Sorry?” He scoffed looking away for a second, “Who was it then? On the phone that night?” He seethed and waited for her to reply, everything within him begged for her to come up with an explanation which would make his feelings for her warranted for again. He had those this entire time, he’d known her boyfriend and her would eventually break up. He was looking forward to this moment ever since he met her but this was the most unideal situation.

Y/n’s silence agitated him even more so, he couldn’t stomach he’d have to let go off his feelings for her. It had been a long while he’d felt like this for someone, this deeply and unwaveringly and he could feel his heart having to say goodbye to it all soon enough and he hated that she couldn’t even reply or meet his gaze. “You owe me an explanation y/n! Just tell me who was on the phone.”

Her gaze as fixated on the floor as she felt the world crumble around her, it felt like standing in the ruins. She created herself, the pattern wasn’t unknown to her. “It was my father.” She told him, however much she wanted to lie with something else she felt like she’d reached a dead end. “I’m not on the best terms with him” and I didn’t want you to see me as another spoilt brat that night, I didn’t want you to think I’m another awful ungrateful child, I didn’t want to open up then as I don’t now.

“And? How so” He asked, it felt like he had to push it out of her to speak but he would, with two strides he reached upto her seat and held her face in his hands, “I am not asking a lot of you am I? Why are you doing this to me? I want your hurt and your truth as raw as it is, I want it as I want all of you, fairly I deserve it. Please. Please talk to me y/n.” Tears brimmed her eyes as she held his hands in hers and pulled them away from her face. The desperation in his voice made it worse as she stood out of her seat.

“I was..I was supposed to go home, back to New York for summer. But my father cancelled it last moment.” She told him with a sigh turning slightly to the side from him, she could not say this to his face without breaking down. Opening up felt like being knifed from the inside. “And I was talking to him about it on the phone, I just didn’t want to tell you then.”

“Why did he cancel it?” He asked and moved her to face him.

By now she realise she couldn’t beat around the bush this way, he wouldn’t move past this and she couldn’t lie now “He said I’m not wanted back home.” She told him redirecting her father’s words. “He had a big launch for the company, it’s bad PR for him and he doesn’t like me around on big occasions.”

“What about your mum?” He asked softly and noticed how she felt silent to muster up proper words.

“My mum’s not—“ y/n breathed “she died giving birth to me. Labor complications at the hospital” she said as mildly as she could, this was her truth, the loss that defined her and it was strange how it hurt the same narrating it each time.

Felix was speechless as his gaze softened it took a lot in him to fathom her grief because she never looked it, “that’s why you got emotional back there, with the surprise.” He thought out loud.

“Yeah my dad forbade it…celebrating my birthday.” She mentioned, she’d grown up to digest it too. Who would deserve a celebration on the day their mother died?

“What about as a child?” He asked really shocked, he got the idea she was emotional and probably didn’t have the best birthdays but absolutely none?

“Not really, my nanny would get me cupcakes with candles till I was six and I was a sheltered kid so that was an ideal birthday to me” she said plainly “But I was-I think I turned 11, the house help with our kitchen staff organised me a small party it was on the kitchen table, balloons and chocolate cake…but my dad got home early that day, he tore down the happy birthday banner, threw the cake and the gifts, fired the staff and I was grounded, I haven’t really celebrated since.”

“At eleven?” He said taking in a sharp breath, it was more than a difficult life for a child to grow up without their mother and have a father like hers. “That’s just cruel”

“My birthday is a dreadful day for him, he loved my mum very much” she said trying to give him the reasoning she gave herself. Both of them were sitting on the floor cross legged leaning by the wall.

“You were a child. He resents your birthday’s enigma in the shadow of his grief.” Felix told her.

“He was a different man once, before me” she tried explaining it to him, despite of how resentful her father was to her how uncaring she wanted to be at the end of the day it was the only parent and only family she’d known all her life. Even her father yelling at her was the sound of her home. “The enigma of my birthday..” she repeated his words with a dejected huff “won’t change the fact that I’m the reason his wife isn’t in this world.”

Felix personally took an offence in that. Her father’s indifference had seeped that poison into her “Absolutely not.” He told her sternly and took her hands in his, “none of it was your fault. You didn’t ask to be born, but as his daughter you’re his daughter. His blood. He treats you with resentment that is a lack in his character. With the loss of his wife he also gained you…a daughter he was supposed to cherish.” He told her what she had to hear but he didn’t mean for her to cry again, opening up was difficult enough for her as it is. Enlacing his arms around her he pulled her into his lap and rubbed her back as she wept in his arms. Soothing sweet nothings he kissed the top of her head rocking her back and forth. “The world gained one of the purest souls with you.” He told her and pulled away to look at her face. Her eyes were full of tears as he wiped them again, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, “and if it wasn’t for you I’d have never felt this deeply for anyone.” He told her as it warmed her heart with all the pain through it and in his arms, for now, the world seemed just fine.

—

HIIII this is a new acc and English isn’t my first language also I’m a struggling stem major who writes to get over a bad test, pls be kind🙏

LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK AND GO DRINK WATER NOW

#felix catton #felix catton x reader #felix catton x you #felix catton x y/n #Felix catton x reader fluff #felix catton angst #saltburn #saltburn x reader #jacob elordi #jacob elordi x reader #jacob elordi x you #jacob elordi x y/n

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2-dsimp · 2 months

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Hey, @2-dsimp!

Idk if you're still doing request for Genshin, but if you are, can you please do Éclair + Devil cake for Albedo (I don't care if this dude is a synthetic human, he still needs some love-)

(Btw I was thinking of Villain!Albedo x Hero!Fem!Reader)

If you don't wanna do it if fine ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

～【Smutty imagines】🍒

→《Ft! FEM READER》

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[🔞] Case study #1 [🔞]—> ft! Villianous! Albedo! NSFW MDNI, Mindbreak, coercion, dubcon, slight bimbofication, praise, unhinged behavior, yandere tendencies, cockworship, deepthroat, male oral recieve! Slight humiliation

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『Albedo conditioning You to be his cumdump』

。Albedo was only trying to help you. Although you may have seen him as an arch nemesis he saw you to be his destiny. Why else would he bother holding back on destroying that worthless city of which he could’ve easily could’ve terminated without a moments notice?

。He was utterly enamored by you and tried his best to persuade that thick skull of yours to abandon those parasites and join his side. But no matter how much he tried to get you to see reason you’d only brush off his efforts. Despite how frustrating it was, that stubbornness of yours was his favorite quality about you.

。He tricked you into coming to his aid under the pretense of helping him turn over a new leaf only to trap you within his penthouse. Making you wear an electronic collar, all the more to help discipline and mold you into the woman he knew you’d eventually become in all due time. His sweet obedient housewife.

。It made him wonder how long it would take to break you.

→ “I’m so proud of how far you’ve progressed my love, haah you’re taking in my cock so well, so willingly…with such eagerness.”

。He’d groan, languidly humping his pelvis against your face. Pulling on your hair so you could properly cater to servicing his throbbing pretty cock adorned in prominent veins from balls to his pink tip. As he suffocates you with his heavy balls that were bench pressed against your nose. Hypnotizing you with his enticing musk of which he infused with certain pheromones to help you become more of a willing participant.

→ “Yes keep it up darling, don’t stop until you make me cum. Don’t You wanna please me? Mmh make your husband feel so wonderful just like the good girl that I know you are?”

。He rasped reaching his breaking point from the sloppy toppy you gave his mushroom pearly tip so reverently and his hips stuttered as he pulled you up by your hair and shoved your face to take his rod to the hilt. Allowing you to feel his abdomen and balls flexing against the cockdrunk expression present against your face.

→”Fuck, I love how you attempt to take every last drop. You’re such a pretty little wife for me when you’re obedient. Now smile for the camera love I’ve got to document how well you’ve grown to adapt to being mine.”

。Albedo praised with a small smile. He felt so complete spurting his hot sticky load into your open mouth. Filming your face in his baby batter while he was content in watching his outload drip from down to your chin. Watching you with satisfaction and pride that you belong to him and no one else. As you tried your best to swallow every bit of his manhood’s nectar.

。Snap!

。The sound of a camera shutter going off echoed throughout the room. As the villain captured your messy face all filled with his creamy load. To mark a corner stone in yalls happy relationship where you acted as his ever so faithful housewife.

→ “You’re so perfect when you’re under my control.”

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A/n: I’m back in business yall! ٩(˃̶͈̀௰˂̶͈́)و

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in1-nutshell · 6 months

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Bot Buddy being Swerve’s older sibling

SFW, familial, platonic, Cybertroninan/ Bot reader, slight angst but has a happy ending

MTMTE

Part 1 of 2

Part 2 here

Part 3 here

For this writing, Swerve’s older sibling is going to be BIG. We are talking Fortress Maximus Big.

How does Buddy have a sibling like Swerve with their height? No one knows and quite frankly, Buddy doesn’t care. They are very close to Swerve.

Buddy doesn’t mind their younger brother talking their audial off about the most random things. They have gotten used to it by now.

“Hey Buddy. Do you think that if minibots ever became a combiner it would just turn out to be a normal sized bot?”—Swerve

“I honestly don’t know how to answer to that question.”

“No, no, but see if the size of one minibot—“—Swerve

“There goes my sleep…”—Buddy

Swerve is insecure, that’s nothing new. But it increases a bit when he is with Buddy in public. He doesn’t like it when bots or himself start comparing them with him. He really wants them to be proud of him and all of his accomplishments. Would 110% support anything Buddy… but he also has his limits.

“Hey Buddy, what are you doing?”--Swerve

“I’m trying to hone in my hiding skills.”--Buddy

“Under a table?”--Swerve

“Yep, and it surprisingly comfortable down here in this crouching position.”--Buddy

“Your stuck aren’t you.”--Swerve

“… maybe? Yes? Help?”--Buddy

“I’ll get the screwdrivers.”--Swerve

“Thanks Swerve!”--Buddy

“This has been the third time I’ve had to disassemble that table…This is getting ridiculous…”—Swerve

Swerve has taught Buddy a thing or two about what he knows about being a metalourgist. As well as teaching them bit of knowledge he knows from doing weird jobs here and there.

“Swerve what do we do when the light turns red?”--Buddy

“Oh! That’s a good question. That usually just means to-- HIT THE DECK!”—Swerve

Buddy is extremely protective of Swerve. They can sometimes get to a ridiculous level of overprotectiveness for Swerve. For example, breathe wrong in his direction, you will feel pain.

“Swerve hold my drink. I’m going to go teach a mech about keeping one’s servos to themselves.”--Buddy

“They just brushed by on accident! There is no need for violence!”--Swerve

It was no surprise that around the time the war rolled by, Buddy was approached and recruited into the Elite Guard. Swerve despite his worries fully supported Buddy.

“Don’t worry about it Buddy! I’m sure your going to have the best stories to tell me when you come back from your missions!”--Swerve

“You really think so Swerve?”--Buddy

“I am positively sure of it Buddy! You know what, this calls for a celebration! Lets go find some engex.”--Swerve

Whenever Buddy was on long trips, they made sure to try and send a message through their personal channel. Swerve tries to make his messages short, but that was nearly impossible for him to do.

“Hey its Swerve! I have so much to tell you, Buddy! First there’s this bot named Blurr and I got his number and now there is a big plan when the wars over. So the plan is that…”--Swerve

Now for some hurt.

Swerve gets notified from some officers from Buddy’s team that there was a good chance that they were killed in action in the last mission. Swerve was in denial at first, but it soon turned into a depression that would follow him for many years even after the war was over. To try and cope with the loss he would still try and send out deep space messages telling them about his day and how much he misses them.

“Hey Buddy, its Swerve again. It’s been a slow week at the bar today. Whirl’s has been on a cocktail binge and nearly attack a poor bot when he asked for the time… And Tailgate, did I talk about Tailgate, well Tailgate is… and then he exploded, I swear Buddy, he exploded!”—Swerve

Timeskip after the events of Swearth

Swerve was getting better. Sure, progress was slow but he was getting to a better place mentally, with the help of his friends and therapy. The only person who he had ever talked about Buddy was Rung. Buddy was a subject that Swerve was not comfortable speaking about too much about. Now Swerve only knows that Rung knows about Buddy ever existing but there were two another bots on board who knew about Buddy. It was Rewind and Whirl

Why? Why those two bots?

Rewind knew after accidentally stumbling on some footage of Swerve and Buddy. After seeing enough footage, Rewind could tell that Buddy at least meant something important to Swerve. He doesn’t bring it up to Swerve. He wants to but he knows if Swerve wants to eventually talk about something then he will talk.

Whirl knows Buddy as his ‘Buddy’ when he was working with the Wreckers. Buddy had joined as a collaboration between the Elite Guard and the Wreckers. Buddy ended up saving Whirl from certain doom and from then Whirl made sure that he was now Buddy’s problem.

“Hey Buddy, what do you think about breaking into a Decepticon clinic and crushing Killmasters brain module?”--Whirl

“How about we don’t do that.”--Buddy

“Your no fun, you know that.”--Whirl

“Yeah, yeah, let’s go get with the others. I think they are debriefing now.”--Buddy

Absolutely loved working with Buddy. He did find out the Buddy’s designation was on the KIA lists after he heard of their mission going off the rails. He had long accepted that Buddy was dead, or missing. Now being on the Lost Light, Whirl has some hope that Buddy might still be out there. If Swerve could create a giant holographic planet for months and not die or Rewind coming back, in a way, then anything was possible.

Now present time

Buddy was very much alive.

#transformers x reader #transformers #idw mtmte #more than meets the eye #mtmte x reader #mtmte swerve #mtmte whirl #mtmte rewind #bot buddy #maccadam

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the-head-ancho-chilli · 1 year

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Smoke Signals (Sanegiyu Oneshot)

I’ve hyperfixated on this idea for like three weeks, and I’m so proud of this oneshot! I genuinely believe that this is one of the best things I’ve ever written ;)

Requests and asks are still open!

Warnings: swearing, drug usage (marijuana and alcohol), mention of depression, and poor self care maintenance

Synopsis: Sanemi and Giyu work together late at Kimetsu Academy and everyone's noticing Sanemi's gradual decline. After a particular comment made in the staff room after hours, Giyu formulates a plan to get his hotheaded coworker to finally open up

Word count: 8k~

Sanemi Shinazugawa was never one to open up about anything. He seemed to be on a personal mission to bite back at anyone who tried to approach him with some lovey dovey shit, so no one really know much about him. The entire staff of Kimetsu Academy had tried their own methods to get him to crack a little with no luck. Poor Kyojuro couldn't seem to make any progress with him after months of trying, and not even Obanai would share anything about the white haired man.

Giyu couldn't recall where his curiosity originated from, but it grew with every night he willingly stayed late at the Academy. He often took advantage of the quiet atmosphere of the nearly empty staff room on the second floor, using the time spent to grade assignments and plan his upcoming classes. Giyu doesn't sleep much anyways so he wasn't too worried about exhaustion catching up to him. However, lately when he finds himself evaluating coursework at his desk in the staff room, there would be none other than Sanemi Shinazugawa furiously grading math quizzes at the desk right next to them.

Both of them started teaching at Kimetsu Academy around the same time so they weren't necessarily unfamiliar with each other. At first the two never talked, both men opting to focus on their career than to go out of their way to be chummy with one another. But after getting roped into the weekend excursions that Tengen plans for their little group, Sanemi and Giyu started allowing the company of others in their lives. And now here they are, tackling their own responsibilities side by side in near silence.

Carrying two cups of coffee, Giyu slides back into his swivel chair at his desk and hands Sanemi the lighter coloured liquid. Sanemi sighs in relief and accepts the styrofoam cup and taking an eager sip of the steaming beverage.

"Thanks." Sanemi huffs. Giyu nods, wondering how anyone can drink coffee with three creams and five sugars. Neither of them found the stillness of the room uncomfortable, both men just simply enjoying the other's presence and the very warm coffee. It was maybe seven in the evening, the last remnants of the sun gracing the room. Sanemi seemed to allow himself a five minute break to re-energize, and Giyu couldn't stop himself from peeking over at him. He looked bone-tired, back pushing against the cushion of the chair he was sitting on and the back of Sanemi's wrist rested on his forehead. Dark circles surrounded his eyes and his scarred face looked flushed. Giyu pursed his lips at the sight.

"Something bothering you?" Giyu asked. A pause passed between them despite the small thump of Giyu setting his black coffee on his desk. Sanemi didn't even register the question at first. When he did, Sanemi whipped his head back at Giyu in visible confusion.

"Huh?"

"You look tired." Giyu commented while holding eye contact. "Are you alright?"

Sanemi's eyebrows furrowed, the corners of his lips now turned upwards in anxiousness. The coffee rippled as Sanemi set it on his desk and reached for a pen.

"It's nothing, it'll sort itself out eventually." Not even looking over at Giyu to see his reaction, Sanemi focused his eyes to a spot on his desk. The pen found itself on a typical sticky note, scribbling on the yellow square a mess of knots and tangles. Ripping off the sticky note, he threw it in the recycling bin net to his leg and started scribbling on the next one too. "All things do."

Giyu was prepared for this kind of reaction. With all the anecdotes of other trying to get closer to Sanemi, this was expected. However, it threw Giyu off guard with how severe Sanemi's discomfort was at the question. From someone else's perspective, the frantic scribbling and ripping of sticky notes makes Sanemi look enraged. But Giyu didn't see it like that. Sanemi's eyes were frantic, as if he was trying to blur Giyu from his peripheral vision. There was just something in the way his brows furrowed and his lips pursed that just screamed panic.

Giyu decided to press forward. "Are you sleeping well?"

"I'm sleeping just fine."

"I don't think you are."

Sanemi scoffed and turned to Giyu, a look of disbelief apparent on his face. "Really?"

"You look awful."

A pause broke between the two men. Sanemi was giving Giyu the hardest stare he could muster with his fist clenched. Realizing what he just said, Giyu gulped nervously as he awkwardly held his gaze, solely fixated on Sanemi's wild eyes.

"I mean that nicely?" Sanemi raised a brow at Giyu. "It didn't- that didn't come out how I intended."

Sanemi lowered his gaze at Giyu, almost glaring at him, as he simultaneously placed another quiz in front of him to mark. Finally breaking eye contact, Sanemi downed the last of his coffee and got back to work. Shame bubbled and swirled in Giyu's stomach.

"We still on for Friday?" Sanemi asked, not looking up from his material.

"Uhm- yeah sure." Giyu stuttered. "I'll bring beer, as usual." It was hardly noticeable, but Sanemi nodded in acknowledgement at Giyu's offer.

Silence passed over the two again, occasionally interrupted by Sanemi turning a page or moving onto the next quiz. Giyu sat awkwardly next to him, sipping on his black coffee that has almost gone to room temperature by now. His mind was swirling, trying to come up with something, anything, to say to Sanemi. But he just didn't have the words.

"I'm really sorry-"

"It's fine," Sanemi interrupted. "Don't lose your head, Tomioka."

Giyu was taken aback at Sanemi's abruptness. He wasn't really sure what to make of it. Despite Sanemi's reassurance, Giyu just knew that there's more to this conversation. And more than anything, he was worried. His hands started to shake and jerk as Giyu tried to think of something to say again. But this was a sensitive matter, at least to Giyu, and that he had to be careful about what he said next or else Sanemi's resentment may worsen.

"I just want you to know," Giyu began, fiddling with his twitching fingers. "That if you ever need someone to talk to, you got me."

Sanemi froze, emptily gazing at the quiz he was in the middle of marking with a pen in his right hand. His grasp on the pen fluttered from clenching and letting go, clearly trying to process Giyu's words carefully. By the time he faced Giyu, Sanemi seemed to be conflicted. The inner turmoil was very apparent in his expression, and if Giyu didn't know any better, he would even say that Sanemi looked like he was pleading with him.

"Look, I don't know what you want to get out of me but I'm not budging. Do I look intoxicated to you? Just get back to work."

Sanemi immediately turned back to his stack of math quizzes and marking ledger with a huff. Before Giyu could protest anything, Sanemi had already started furiously scribbling scores and passing paper after paper onto another pile of marked quizzes on the opposite side of his desktop. Giyu frowned and considered Sanemi's last remark, after all, he did already have plans to have dinner at his place on the upcoming Friday. If these were the terms that Sanemi set, then who was he to try and match them?

Giyu Tomioka was fair game.

The rest of the week pretty quickly, much to Giyu's growing anticipation. His plan was already set in motion, with the help of a flamboyant art teacher in the Academy's faculty of course. After consulting the best way to approach this with Kyojuro and Shinobu for the past few days, Giyu felt more confident about his visit with Sanemi on Friday.

However what most worried him was Sanemi's declining state over the week. With ever passing, Sanemi seemed more and more drained. Students started voicing their concerns with other teachers, mainly reporting to Kyojuro and Kanae to see if there's any way they can ask him to take a few days off. Sanemi apparently have gotten more stern on the curriculum, now assigning more pop quizzes and instead of teaching the material at the beginning of class and allowing the remaining time for students to work independently, instead Sanemi will demonstrate more methods and quadratic equations. Student were starting to get overwhelmed with the amount of times Sanemi would stress that what he was teaching was going to be on the test the upcoming Monday.

Unable to find a way to approach this issue professionally, Giyu just put his faith in his coworkers to hopefully alleviate the tension between Sanemi and his students. He saw Kyojuro and Gyomei approach Genya about the issue with no luck. as he also seemed resentful at the situation before him. His worry only seemed to grow with every passing day.

When Friday approached, Giyu buzzed the call button in the lobby of the apartment complex a few after classes had ended for the day. In his other hand was a plastic bag that had some supplied for how he was hoping to spend the night with Sanemi. The call button clicked an a voice spoke through the crunchy sounding speaker.

"Name and business." It ordered.

"...Uh, it's Giyu? I brought some stuff up for tonight." The speaker clicked again.

"Come on up."

The lobby door opened automatically, allowing Giyu to pass the receptionist and reach the elevator. He was already used to this route, so Giyu already knew to ignore the elevator's worrying clunk when it passed the fifth floor, that the eighth floor that the Shinazugawa's resided in usually smelled of lavender scented detergent. as well as to be weary of the tuxedo cat that had a habit of wandering into the elevator during it's escapades. Giyu crouched to pet the little guy, Joji from 912. Continuing down the hall, Giyu could feel his mouth salivating at the smell of several families cooking dinner. Sanemi usually made simple yet well balanced meals, and for a moment Giyu started to wonder what he made.

Arriving at Sanemi's flat, Giyu knocked on the door just below the steel plated numbers that read 923. The sound of shuffling and faint music could be heard from inside the apartment, but the door didn't open. Giyu's eyebrows furrowed slightly as he knocked again, but then a high pitched beep rang from the other side of the door.

"Ah shit- Just open the door! Kinda busy here-" Sanemi shouted.

The beeping stopped and was replaced with rustling metal. Giyu felt awkward about opening the door to someone else's place on his own, but then again, Sanemi seemed to be too preoccupied to open the door. Hesitating, Giyu slowly rotated the doorknob and peeked his head in. The scent of whatever Sanemi was cooking immediately wafted towards the draft from the door, making the rumbling of Giyu's stomach embarrassingly audible. His mouth filled with saliva again as shoes were hastily torn off and left on the genkan. Giyu slid on some slippers that he found near the front door, and stepped up onto the hardwood of the apartment.

In the kitchen, Sanemi was swiftly chopping some kind of vegetable with efficiency and ease, immediately dumping it in the small pot that sat on the gas stove. Moving onto the next burner, a shallow pan had two pieces of salmon softly sizzling in a sauce. Sanemi took a spoon and gently basted them in the glaze. Setting the plastic bag he held onto the kitchen island, Giyu pulled out one of the barstools that hid underneath it and sat down.

Amongst the various sounds of dinner being prepared, a record player was playing 80's rock softly through the apartment. The tune was catchy and the electric guitar solo seemed to escalate and drive the song without it baring out the drums or the base. Sanemi's place was decorated with a mature yet angsty feel that might not have worked for most people, but seemed to suit Sanemi quite well. What caught Giyu's attention the most was an electric guitar with a black angular body hung up on the wall near the living area. What was strange about it is that there was no amp to be seen, and the fretboard of the guitar had a noticeable layer of dust atop the black acrylic. Seems like it hadn't been used in a while.

A door slammed open, rocking some of the other objects hung on the wall a little. Giyu jumped in his seat in surprise, as he turned his head to find the source of the noise. Genya was bent over to pick over a rugged backpack that was unceremoniously shoven next to a side table in the living room, and stomped back to his room to fill it with some folded clothes that sat on the edge of his bed.

"Good evening, Genya."

Genya only grunted in response, too busy packing his backpack to properly greet Giyu. The air was thick with tension, causing Giyu to squirm in the barstool as Sanemi watched Genya sternly. This kind of atmosphere was unusual for the Shinazugawa brothers, serving the impression that something was clearly amiss. Genya was normally apprehensively friendly with Giyu, usually because of how awkward he was around new people. And sure they were both hotheaded, but Sanemi normally found a way to work around that for the both of them for Genya's sake.

"I'm going out." Genya slung his bag over his shoulder and walked to the front door swiftly to but on some shoes. Sanemi gawked at him.

"I told you that you're not going anywhere until you take your studies seriously." Sanemi argued.

"It's a study group." Genya hopped on one foot as he struggled to put his combat boots on. "Tanjiro arranged it."

"Until I see your quiz on Monday, you're staying here until you get your shit sorted."

"Seriously? If anyone needs to get a hold of themselves, it's you." Genya groaned, grabbing a coat and opening the door. "I'll be back in the morning."

The front door slammed shut and shook the walls once again. Giyu's jaw was dropped at the interaction he just witnessed before him, chest still tightened in discomfort. Sanemi's back was still turned from Giyu but it was obvious he was pissed. He had stopped stirring for a few moments, his hand making claws as he shook them in anger. When he stopped, Sanemi turned towards Giyu and gestured at the door as if that explained anything.

"Do you see what I have to deal with? He's just so-" Sanemi waved his hand in the air. "You know? Ughhhh!"

Giyu nodded frantically, trying to show his best that he understood. He didn't have the heart to tell him that he, in fact, had no idea what just happened between Sanemi and Genya. Utterly lost at this point, Giyu felt a bit helpless. He wanted to reach out to Sanemi, but it was too soon to execute the plan right now. Standing up wordlessly from the barstool, Giyu started to set the table neatly for the two of them.

When the table was set, Giyu checked in on Sanemi. He was still hovering over the stovetop, but now he was fiercely muttering under his breath. Giyu stood next to him, leaning over the granite countertop and watching Sanemi cook dinner. Sanemi didn't even change out of his work clothes, still wearing a white collared shirt and black slacks. His blazer was nowhere to be seen, but his shirt was unbuttoned to his stomach like when he joins in on Tengen's plans on the weekends.

"Rough week?" Giyu asked.

Sanemi snorted. "You have no idea."

Giyu patted Sanemi's shoulder lightly in reassurance. He could almost see the struggle on Sanemi's own worries and stresses were his own. The cotton felt rough and stiff under his hand that lingered a little longer on Sanemi than he originally intended. Silence overtook them again, standing side by side by the stove.

Dinner went a bit more smoothly once both men started digging in. Sanemi had cooked a glazed salmon, rice, a light salad and a small pot of stew on the side. The cold beers that Giyu had brought from the convenience store paired well with the meal, following the recommendation from the green haired teen who worked there. The two chatted between bites, mainly about work related topics and their students. Giyu was tempted to ask about Genya or Sanemi's sleep schedule, but he he held off knowing that he still had a plan to approach this, sitting at his feet in the plastic bag.

"What about you?" Sanemi inquired, taking another sip of his beer. "Are you still eating well?"

Giyu cringed internally, trying not to show it.

"Tanjiro told me that he only sees you buy bread at his bakery. Dude, you're a fitness teacher. You know you need to get some nutrition to wrangle all those damn kids."

Giyu glanced down at his feet, fiddling with his fingers in his lap. "It's not all bad, I'm supporting a local business."

"Bullshit!" Sanemi interjected with an appalled smirk on his face. "If you don't start taking better care of yourself, I'm going to start making lunches for you if it means you eat properly."

"You don't have to, Sanemi you have enough on your plate already."

"People are worried Giyu- hell, I am too! If you just let me-"

"I'm worried about you too."

Giyu stared at Sanemi in concern, his fidgeting coming to a halt as he focused on the hotheaded man in front of him. Sanemi once again put on the spot, seemed to be at a loss for excuses. Defeated, he just slumped in his chair and stared at the empty plate as Giyu downed the rest of his beer. He sat up and placed his folded hands in front of him on the table, trying to find Sanemi's gaze. Sanemi refused to look at him.

"I thought about what you said a few days ago, Sanemi."

Giyu leaned over to the side and reached into the plastic bag next to him on the floor. Sanemi's eyes followed his movements and watched him pull a small tin container out of the bag and placed it on the table, right in the middle. Giyu carefully glanced at Sanemi, confusion apparent on his face as he stared at the box. Sanemi looked up at Giyu again.

"I have a proposition for you." Giyu leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms. Sanemi sat up straight and finished the rest of his beer, gesturing for him to continue.

"Everyone knows that you're not really one to talk about your feelings, which is fair! You don't have to open up to us if you don't feel comfortable. But you're clearly struggling, Sanemi. And I want to help."

Sanemi's eyes furrowed at Giyu's confession, jaw clenched as he nodded slightly. "Actually, I got this idea when you asked me if you look intoxicated when I started to question your sleep." Giyu finished.

Sanemi was taken aback, at first not really understanding what Giyu was implying by that statement. Giyu leaned back to the side, the plastic bag rustling again. But then it hit Sanemi.

There was no fucking way.

Sanemi reached for the tin box on his dining table and grabbed it swiftly. The metal was cool to the touch and the container was decorated with two large stickers that covered the top and bottom of it. Flipping open the creaky lid, inside the metal box were four joints. Looking back at Giyu, there were now two stacks of index cards atop the dining table in front of him.

"If you don't want to do this, that's fine." Giyu reassured. "I won't be mad or anything. but since it was something you mentioned, I thought that if we-"

"Sure." Sanemi agreed.

Giyu tilted his head. "What?"

"I'm down." Sanemi reiterated, closing the lid of the box with a smile on his face. "Whatever you have planned here, I say we do it."

Giyu couldn't believe it. He had a whole speech prepared on how everyone knew Sanemi was having problems, and how they all cared about him. He wanted to tell Sanemi how many people were willing to do anything to pitch in to cheer him up, to reignite and rejuvenate the hardass attitude and his motivation that he lost in the last week. Giyu was genuinely shocked that he didn't need to say any of that, Sanemi had just accepted that he was worried. And that he was willing to take a chance on him, because that was enough. Barely able to hold it back at this realization, Giyu beamed at Sanemi.

It didn't take long for the two men to clean up the leftover clutter from dinner, Sanemi quickly washed dishes and left them on the drying rack as Giyu wiped down the table, dried the dishes on the rack and put them away. This had become so routine to them both that Giyu already knew where everything was meant to be placed. The two worked together silently, still processing the previous discussion. Giyu felt hopeful. Once they were done, Sanemi led Giyu to the balcony through the sliding door by the dining table. The lock clicked as Sanemi opened it smoothly and stepped through and toward the evening sky. The balcony was made of concrete with a clothesline connecting from Sanemi's building to the one across the street from them. Some plants in terracotta pots decorated the corners of the balcony. All of them held fresh herbs except for one large pot, with scorch marks along the inner walls and a pile of ash sitting at the bottom. The small balcony also held a small loveseat sofa with a tiny table sat in front of it. The balcony was crowded, but lived in and welcoming.

Giyu took a seat on the sofa, which was made of a firm plastic except for the cushions. Sanemi took a seat beside him and crossed his ankle over his knee. They were shoulder to shoulder with barely an inch of space between them. Giyu handled Sanemi the blue stack of index card while he held onto the yellow stack. Sanemi took the tin out of his pocket and examined the stickers carefully.

"Why did you bring four? I don't even think we can get to two, dumbass." Sanemi chuckled.

"I got them from Tengen, actually."

"Of course." Sanemi took out a joint and gave it to Giyu to hold for the time being. "Guessing from the club named on the box, I'm assuming that's his too."

Giyu nodded, agreeding that he wouldn't be one to hold onto stickers that featured the logos of the local clubs and bars around the area, especially with how high end the names were.

"He insisted I hold onto some extra, so I thought I might as well for next time."

Sanemi placed the tin box on the table in front of them. "Next time?"

"Well, yeah." Giyu mumbled. "I wasn't sure if you wanted to finish all these cards tonight, in case you wanted a break or feel the need to stop." His hands twitched again, prompting Giyu to look down and fiddle with them. "I want this to be a good experience, not one where you feel pressured."

Sanemi nodded again, his lips slightly upturned at Giyu's thoughtfulness. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a zippo lighter with a wind spinner engraved on the side.

"Do you smoke?" Sanemi asked, flipping the cap of the lighter easily.

Giyu shrugged, pulling his knees to his chest. "Once or twice."

Sanemi lit the joint and Giyu watched the end of it flutter with heat before glowing in the dark lightly. Bringing it to his lips, Sanemi took a long drag of the joint before handing it to Giyu. A bit out of his territory, Giyu took a small take of the joint so he wouldn't be forced to cough a little. Sanemi finally let out a sigh after holding in the smoke, immediately laughing under his breath.

"Fuckkkk, I haven't done this in years." Sanemi looked pleased, taking back the joint and flipping through the blue index cards sat on his thigh. "How do you want to go about this?"

"You ask a question from a yellow card, I answer first and then you answer. Then I ask a question from the blue cards, you answer and then I do too."

"What if we don't want to answer that question?"

"You don't have to." Giyu shrugged. I won't insist it."

Sanemi took another drag of the joint, pulled out a card, and exhaled deeply. "How would you introduce yourself if you two were strangers?"

"Hi, I'm Giyu Tomioka." He began. "I'm the Phys-Ed teacher of Kimetsu Academy."

Sanemi grimaced, finding it awkward to play along with him. "Sanemi Shinazugawa. Math teacher of Kimetsu Academy."

"I guess we're not stranger anymore." Giyu joked.

Sanemi handed back the joint, bouncing one of his legs as he waited for Giyu's turn. As he took a hit of the marijuana, Sanemi started to feel anxious about the questions they had in their hands. Sure Giyu was more quiet and careful with his words, but Sanemi found it intimidating how natural it seems to Giyu. Sanemi started to second guess agreeing to this game of his.

"What's your favourite colour, Sanemi?"

"Who came up with these questions?" Sanemi snorted. "Uh, green. A light green."

Giyu returned the joint. "Blue."

Sanemi held the roll between his lips as he pulled out another card. He took another drag and red out the question. "What are you currently feeling?"

"Scared. Excited, but scared." He started drawing circles on his knees as he relaxed.

"You're scared?" Sanemi repeated in disbelief. "This seems so easy for you."

Giyu shook his head. "It's not really, I don't really talk to anyone like this. But I'm glad that we are, talking like this." Giyu tucked his hair behind his ears. "I'm just focused on hearing you out."

Sanemi leaned back a bit. "I'm fucking terrified, you have no idea. It's one thing being afraid to hear what someone might tell you, but it's another thing willing yourself to say it."

The environment seemed eerily tense, both men watching the dark sky roll with clouds as the weed fogged the air a little. The pungent smell seemed to thicken with the anticipation for the next question. Giyu took another drag of the joint, but inhaled a little bit too much than he could handle. Sputtering into a couch, Sanemi grinned wildly and patted Giyu excitedly on the back.

"There we go!" Sanemi cheered. "Atta boy, you alright?"

Giyu blushed in embarrassment. "Yeah. Next question, ummm..." He flipped to the next card. "When was the last time you cried by yourself? In front of someone else?"

Sanemi's hesitance didn't go unnoticed by Giyu. "You don't have to if you don't want-"

"No no, I got this." Sanemi reassured, probably more to himself rather than Giyu. "The last time I cried by myself was when I got shanked last May after a rough day." He pulled down the pit of his sleeve to show the small scar on his shoulder along the myriad of the other several scars. "It wasn't that painful, it just was my last straw that day."

"And in front of someone?" Giyu asked as he leaned closer to Sanemi's shoulder to take a closer look.

"About a year ago. Bad breakup, and Obanai happened to find me." Sanemi pulled the shirt back up, but kept it unbuttoned as usual. He stuck his hand out and Giyu passed the joint back to him.

"Last time I cried in front of someone was when someone close to me had died." The whisper was barely audible, but Sanemi heard it clear enough for a pang of guilt to strike him in the chest. Just how much did they not know about each other?

"And by myself, last night."

Sanemi turned to Giyu in concern. "Why were you crying?"

"I don't know." Giyu gestured vaguely around, a bit more sluggish than usual. "I just do sometimes."

Sanemi placed the joint down on an ashtray on the table, but Giyu immediately reached for it and took another drag. He looked more comfortable in his hits now.

"Next question." Sanemi pulled out a card. "What's your favourite quality about yourself?"

Giyu stared at the balcony above them, trying to find an answer. "Ugh I don't know- my eyes? I don't really like much about myself."

"You do have really pretty eyes." Sanemi agreed. "I would say my muscles." Sanemi tilted his head towards Giyu with a stupidly sly smirk on his face. "I show them off for a reason, you know?"

"I don't blame you." Giyu turned in his seat so his shoulder pressed into the back of the sofa more so his body was turned to Sanemi, now able to see him more clearly. His knees touched Sanemi's shoulder from the way that they were pressed into his chest. "Any specific area that you're particularly proud of?"

Sanemi's grin widened. "My six pack. Do you have any idea how badly core workouts burn after-"

"It's an eight pack." Giyu corrected.

The two men froze in place, staring at each other in disbelief. Sanemi's jaw was dropped at what Giyu just said, he leaned in closer to reach his reaction a bit better. Giyu was no better himself, the apples of his cheeks were glowing bright red in the dim lighting. Sanemi's shock turned into a smile and a small chuckle which turned to a fit a giggles until he was finally roaring with laughter. Giyu had part of his face covered with his hand to show that he too was laughing under his breath. The two laughed until their sides hurt and calmed down from the sudden outburst. Once they were able to speak without giggling, Giyu pulled out another card.

"If a crystal ball could tell you any truth about yourself, your life, or the world, what would you want to know?"

"If I'm raising Genya right." Sanemi heaved. "He's a hot headed troublemaker like me, but he has good friends. He's a good kid at heart." Sanemi sighed worryingly and shifted on the couch until him and Giyu were finally shoulder to shoulder. "I'm just scared that the world is too harsh to give that kid a chance."

Giyu took another hit of the joint. "I think you're doing a great job, you two are just too similar. It's why you don't see eye to eye."

"No it's more than that, I fucked up this week. I shouldn't have taken my anger out on him and now he probably hates me." Sanemi took a deep breath of the evening air around him. "What about you?"

"I would want to know... what waits for us on the other side?" Giyu took another drag of the roll in his fingertips. "Life is hard, Sanemi, especially when you can't trust anyone to be there for you when things get ugly. Living like that, it brings loneliness..."

Sanemi wrapped his arms around Giyu, bringing him closer in an effort to comfort him. "It gets better, Giyu. You just need to stick around long enough to see it."

Giyu didn't want to say it, not right now, but he really appreciated Sanemi's affirmations. He was overwhelmed with many emotions, as it had been more than a decade since he was able to talk to another person so openly. He just hoped that Sanemi didn't see how he brought the edge of his sleeve to his eyes, wiping away a few tears of gratitude.

"You okay?"

"Yeah." Giyu sniffed. "Next question?"

Sanemi pulled out a card. "What's something you and your partner appear to have in common?" He stated quizzically at the index card. "Are either of us even in a relationship?"

"No it's-" Giyu had to pause in order to gather his thoughts, starting to feel them swirl around in the air with the smoke. I think it means us, we're partners in this game."

Nodding in agreement, Sanemi looked at Giyu and patiently awaited his answer.

"I think we both expect more from the future than we're ever gonna get. Given our track record so far I mean."

There was a light pause between the two men, letting Giyu stew in his emotions until he felt the need to lighten up a bit. "No offense, Sanemi."

"None taken." He shrugged. "Can I pass this one? My answer is some fucking sappy shit, you probably don't want to hear that."

"I want to hear it." Giyu pressed. "If you want to pass you can, but I want to hear it."

Sanemi rolled his eyes in anxiety, he grabbed Giyu's wrist lightly and brought his hand to his face, taking a hit of the joint deeply. He felt the marijuana immediately calm his nerves as he exhaled. He met Giyu's ocean blue eyes again, now a bit more bloodshot than he expected. Gently, het let go of Giyu's wrist and sat up straight. For a moment Sanemi considered finishing off the joint for the both of them.

"I think..." Sanemi started, rubbing his knees a little to ease his nerves. "I think we're both more content solving someone else's problem than to deal with our issues ourselves."

Giyu watched Sanemi's face intently as he said this. The white haired man really tried to hide it, but Giyu managed to catch a view of a tear sliding down his cheek slowly. Giyu moved his feet down from the sofa, and reached forward. He pulled Sanemi in for a hug by his shoulder, though he wasn't sure how welcome it was because Giyu was really stiff. Sanemi accepted the gesture, instinctively holding onto him tightly with shaky arms.

"Thank you." Giyu whispered lightly, almost inaudible over the traffic below them. Sanemi only hummed in response. The embrace was incredibly awkward for Giyu, unsure if he was doing this properly. He can't remember the last time he had someone in his arms that wasn't a fling. Giyu felt out of practice.

Sanemi pulled away after a few still minutes, much to Giyu's disappointment. Pulling out another card exasperatedly, Sanemi read the neatly printed text aloud. "What's something that you've been meaning to do for a while, and why haven't you done it?"

Pausing thoughtfully, Giyu took a few minutes to think of an appropriate answer. He had one, but he wasn't sure if it

was something he would want to breathe out into the world. Sanemi's reason for being afraid to play this game started to make sense now that he found himself in the same position. Sanemi gave Giyu a reassuring smile, and placed his hand on his shoulder. Giyu took his hand into his own and held them gently in his lap.

"To get to know you." Giyu confessed. "I couldn't find a good way to approach it."

"Really?" Sanemi sighed, a joking grin stretched across his lips. "I think you did a great job with this though."

"You think so?"

"Do you really think I would've done this with anyone, dumbass?"

Giyu beamed again, satisfaction present in his eyes. Sanemi squeezed his hand, and Giyu shifted again so that his legs draped Sanemi's arm of the couch. The joint was long forgotten, the butt of it tossed onto an ashtray. Sanemi didn't object to either.

"I've been meaning to go through my records." He sighed, mentally adding that to his endless list of things to do. He wasn't sure if that list ever dwindled in the first place. "I feel like some of them don't fit me anymore."

Giyu tilted his head in confusion. "I thought you would've said have Genya teach you the guitar. I saw it on the wall."

"Hah! No, that old thing is mine." Sanemi laughed hearily at the assumption Giyu made. "I used to be in a band back in teacher's collage, but it didn't work out. Now it just collects dust."

"I would like to hear you play sometime."

"I doubt it, I'm rusty as hell." Sanemi shook his head, memories flooding back of how much he loved the sleek black guitar when he was younger. "Honestly, I'm not even sure if I remember how."

Giyu shrugged. "You'd figure it out, you always do."

Leaning forward, Giyu rested his head on Sanemi's shoulder as gently as he could. The added support allowed him to regain himself as a wave of dizziness came over him. Sanemi rested his cheek atop hi head, relaxing into his touch. Sanemi continued to watch the night sky as an airplane soared above them, while Giyu still stared at his lap. Sanemi's hands were the same size as his, but scarred and rough. He traced over the white lines.

"Sanemi?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you okay?"

Giyu interlocked his hands into Sanemi's. a silent plead of encouragement that he was listening. Sanemi rubbed his thumbs on the back of Giyu's palms.

"No." He breathed, the scent of Giyu's conditioner filling his lungs. "I haven't been sleeping, you were right on that."

"Do you get nightmares?" Giyu mumbled groggily.

"No it's not that." Sanemi shook his head gently, still holding onto Giyu's hands tightly. "I've just been thinking a lot lately. I've been trying to drown it out by working more, but I don't think that's fair to my students." His palms started to sweat, but Giyu didn't pull away. "And then Genya failed one of my quizzes, so we've been fighting all week."

The glare of the city lights blinded Sanemi from watching the peaceful liveliness of the evening that surrounded him and his balcony. He thought about how everyone lived their own little lives apart from his, and he wondered how much of it he impacted. How much stress he might've caused to everyone around him.

"I just thought," Sanemi whimpered defeatedly. "That if I buried myself in work, that I wouldn't have time to think. or feel, and I would just claw my way through each day. I would just get through it anyways." Tears clouded his vision, the glares of light growing brighter. "Look where it fucking got me."

Giyu was nearly crying alongside him, sniffling quietly and figuring with both of their hands. Sanemi's head brought a good weight to his, comfortable with how much he was relying on him in the moment.

"The anger is just a front, you know. There's no denial in the anger and the fighting, but I try to hold it onto it at work. For my own sake." Sanemi chuckled dryly at himself. "You know, I really fucking hated you."

Giyu's bottom lip quivered. "Seriously?"

"Hated your fucking guts." Sanemi affirmed, taking his hands from Giyu and resting his arms down Giyu's back. "You're actually content with yourself. Or at least you're content enough to actually allow yourself to think about your life." Giyu's back was warm, but he still felt him shiver. "I'm still jealous that you don't feel the need to drown everything out every damn second of your day. You can think, and you can say what you're thinking."

"You're wrong." Giyu argued. "I don't talk about it. I constantly feel like I'm drowning, but I don't want to say anything because I don't want more people drowning with me. Have you seen me at work? I don't even talk much, not even when we're at the club."

Sanemi recoiled back, lifting his cheek off his head and looking Giyu in the eyes. "Since when have you- why?"

"Huh?" Giyu was trying to concentrate with how fuzzy he was feeling, trying to focus on Sanemi's wild eyes.

"Why don't you talk more? You're talking plenty with me right now."

"Because it's you." Giyu cursed under his breath, his gaze exploring every swirl of Sanemi's plum coloured irises. "Because I want to talk to you more."

Sanemi could barely grasp Giyu's expression, his mind hazed with weed and the serenity of the moment. His spine tingled in the cold evening air as he tried his best to stay present and not drift off into another swarm of thoughts.

"You said that you couldn't do this with anyone." Giyu huffed as if he'd been holding in his breath for the past minute. His gaze still fixed on Sanemi. "Why me?"

Sanemi pressed his forehead to Giyu's, grounding himself to create a response. But he had none, his mind was blanking out on him. The effects of the marijuana bubbled in his throat and he couldn't stop himself from spouting some shit he'd probably regret when he's sober. And yet he found himself with the same answer as Giyu.

"Because it's you." Sanemi whispered as if he had just reached that conclusion just now. "I wouldn't want anyone else. Just you."

Finally looking into Giyu's eyes, Sanemi saw a world of life that he hadn't seen in Giyu for ages, maybe ever. The blue of his irises rose and crashed like the waved of an ocean, but it wasn't chaotic. It was alive, and raw, and so full of emotion that he swore that he could feel seasick just looking at it. Giyu's pupils were dilated so much that Sanemi could see the reflection of an airplane he'd spotted earlier in the night, making him wonder why he hadn't felt the need to escape where he was. For all he cared the rest of the world around him didn't faze him. All that mattered right now was himself, Giyu, and his little balcony.

"Damn, your eyes are pretty."

"What-"

Sanemi interrupted him by pressing his lips to Giyu's, hasty but gentle. He was bracing himself for Giyu to take him by the shoulders an push him away in disgust. But it never came. Instead, Giyu lightly took a hold of Sanemi's waist and tilted his head. Sanemi's ribs tingled at Giyu's touch as the seasickness returned to the pit of his stomach. Fingers threading through his long hair, Sanemi took a hold of Giyu's roots and pulled him impossibly closer. Giyu tried to regain control by slowing down, kissing him back so lazily that it forced Sanemi to follow his lead. Warmth flooded through their veins, a tender but fleeting moment that they both enjoyed with no remorse or regret. Giyu pulled away for air and pressed his forehead to Sanemi. Both tried to catch their breath as the world around them continued to move and sway with the beat of their hearts loud in their ears.

"I'm tired." Sanemi's stated, still holding onto the back of Giyu's shirt.

A pleased grin stretched across Giyu's face. "Let's get you to bed."

Letting the index cards fall and scatter across the concrete floor of the balcony, Giyu helped Sanemi stand up, leading him by one arm on his shoulder and his other hand on the sliding door and leading him inside. The walk to Sanemi's bedroom was short, but Giyu had to take a second to remember the way you need to jostle the door in order to open it. Inside was Sanemi's bed, a flatscreen TV, a nightstand that stored several books on quantum physics and a small closet in the corner of the room. Giyu laid Sanemi down on the left side of the bed and returned from the kitchen to bring him a glass of water. Sanemi appeared to be very mellow, and had changed into sweatpants and left his chest bare in the warm apartment. Obviously fighting off sleep.

This wasn't the first time that Giyu stayed overnight at the Shinazugawa's, and this wouldn't be the last either. But it's happened often enough that Giyu knew that Sanemi kept the extra blankets in a spare cabinet in the living room. Giyu made sure that Sanemi was comfortable before turning to retreat to the couch to also catch up on some sleep. A rough hand on his wrist prevented him from leaving.

"Stay." Sanemi exhaustedly begged Giyu, a pleading look in his tired eyes. "Please stay."

Giyu contemplated for a moment if he wanted to respect Sanemi's personal space, as he's never been this close to him before. His heart pounding even harder in his eardrums was drowning out the voice of reason that still persisted despite his intoxicated state. And on any other occasion, he would've listened to it. But after Sanemi lifted the duvet for the right side of his bed, inviting him without a word uttered, Giyu gave in. He wandered to the opposite side of the room and crawled in the shockingly cold bed. Sanemi was laid on his back, watching Giyu settle onto his stomach and draped an arm over Sanemi's waist. His head was resting on Sanemi's shoulder and their legs intertwined together at the foot of the bed.

Giyu pressed a kiss to Sanemi's cheekbone and bid him a restful sleep. Settling back into Sanemi's neck, Giyu rested his head on Sanemi's shoulder and closed his eyes.

Sanemi's eyes were fixated on the flat ceiling above them as he relished in the company of the man laying beside him. He could blame all this on the weed in the morning. He could chalk up the sappy conversations, the tears shed between the two of them, and the gentle kiss on the marijuana they shared on the balcony. The smell of which might get him in trouble later. But he didn't want to deny it after tonight. Not when it was Giyu. Sanemi's eyes drooped in the quiet apartment, the night still bustling outside but he paid no mind to it. And though he would never say it out loud, Sanemi thanked Giyu. For the first time in over a week, Sanemi had drifted off to a dreamless sleep in the dead of the night.

꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶꒷꒦˚ ꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶꒷꒦˚ ꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶꒷꒦˚

I know this one was super long but if you made it this far, THANK YOU! Writing this oneshot has been an absolute pleasure and I’m so happy I’ve got it done after MONTHS of thinking about it T_T

In other announcements, I have two requests being filled out! One of them is about a quarter done while the other is just over halfway and I’m hoping to post one of them before my finals ;)

Also thank you for 150 followers! I really appreciate anyone who visits this blog and reads my work ^^

Requests and asks are still open, please read the rules before submitting anything ^^

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starrysnowdrop · 4 months

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Looking Forward -> 2024

We are almost done with 2023 and what a year it’s been! Both IRL and here, there has been so many great changes this year, and there’s still so much to look forward to in 2024. Therefore, I wanted to take a little time to reflect on this past year and then talk about what I have planned for next year. Because I know I’ll be long winded as usual, I will place it under a cut.

2023: The Year of Hali

So this year was a momentous year creatively for me, as I officially switched my main WoL OC from Yume to Hali, and though I do still have a twinge of guilt for dropping Yume completely like I did, I have to admit that I’ve never been happier writing than I am right now. Hali and her story and her ship with Aymeric bring me so much joy, and I have seen how much Hali has been enjoyed by all of you, so it just tells me that I made the right decision. I have written so much more for Hali in only a year than I have for Yume in all the previous years combined. I have been practicing my gposing way more and I felt like I have grown so much as a creator, and I think it’s because I’m so genuinely happy with Hali that it makes me want to keep doing more. This little pink woman has stolen my whole heart and I am very proud of all I have done this year with her.

Now I know that the last two months have been really stressful IRL and it’s been difficult to get back into writing, but I’m not going to let it get to me. I’m hoping that starting next week after the holidays are over, my son is back in school, and we are all back to our routines that it’ll be way easier to write. Still, I’m proud of what I’ve already done and I’m so excited for what I have planned for 2024, along with my hopes for Dawntrail and for Hali and Aymeric’s future development.

2024, Dawntrail, and Beyond

I know I’m not alone in being extremely excited for Dawntrail and beginning our WoLs’ next story arc, so I already have some plans for Hali that will happen for sure, and some that might happen depending on circumstances. I also have plans for Urania x Hermes on top of everything I want to do for Hali. So let’s go over all of these briefly.

First of all, I am going to continue working on my current WIPs for Hali’s story, notably Hali and Aymeric’s first meeting, expanding on Hali and Aymeric bonding while Aymeric recovers in the infirmary (twice!), the letters they send to each other throughout SB, ShB, and Pre-EW, the love confession, and the Ishgardian Ball. I have worked on all of this interchangeably for months now and I hope to get something done soon enough. I also have a bunch of Hali lore that I have planned on discussing, notably her ancestry and where each side of her family comes from. This is a lot I know, but there’s so much that I want to write and share with you all.

Next I absolutely know that I want Aymeric to accompany Hali to Tural (The New World) for 7.0 despite it going against canon. I want Aymeric to have some time away from Ishgard and to experience an adventure with Hali. I know he can’t accompany her on adventures most of the time, but I want to be self indulgent damn it and that man needs an action-adventure vacation with his girlfriend!

That’s it for my definitive plans, but what about what I might be doing for Hali in 2024? Well, the biggest question hanging in the balance is the new casting job. It depends on if I believe the new casting job will fit Hali and make sense for her progression if I will add it to her canon jobs list. If I don’t think it’ll fit her, then I might look into the other jobs and see if there’s something I’ve overlooked that can be added instead. But there’s always the possibility that no new canon jobs are added and Hali remains an Astrologian and Dancer only. I was just looking forward to perhaps giving Hali some development of her magical abilities and learn a new job. But I will have to wait and see for Tokyo Fanfest for that!

The other thing that I’m not entirely sure if I’m doing it yet or not is a proposal! I might have Aymeric propose to Hali in 7.0 but I’m not sure if I want to do it so soon, or if it feels right doing it in 7.0. I want to experience all of 7.0’s MSQ before I decide on that. It WILL happen eventually I promise, it’s just a matter of when.

I think that’s everything for Hali, but I also have plans for Urania and Hermes! I’m wanting to write a bit of their canon story but I’m also super excited for the Modern AU I have been developing! I’m not sure yet if I will do anything with the Good Ending AU I just posted about, but it’s still a possibility. I’m also going to make them a separate section under my pinned post so there will be easy access to their lore.

Okay, I believe that’s everything. I will be getting started on all this after the new year’s celebration, and I hope to be able to share something really soon. Until then, I wish you all a Happy New Year and I hope you enjoy your holiday weekend and I wish everyone joy and inspiration in the new year! Love you all!! 🥰💖

#ooc #looking forward to 2024 #happy 2024 #happy new year #please look forward to it

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rabbit-harpist · 3 months

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today i finished the last episode of O Segredo Na Floresta, the second season of Ordem Paranormal, and i never expected to get here.

i’m not okay over the characters and the story. it was an incredible episode and had some of my favorite moments from the entire season. i cried, and that’s really all i can ask from a story.

but! story reactions are not for tumblr (shoutout to the guys of the ordem server who let me liveblog my experience, you’re great). i don’t want to ruin any suprises for anyone if they decide to follow this path. so this is going to be a ramble of a more personal kind.

osnf is 15 episodes, about 3-4 hours each, fully subtitled in english and portuguese by the incredible equipe t. it’s a commitment. it was overwhelming to look at, especially when i started with my only experience watching ttrpgs being the two episodes of quarentena (which rewired my brain. i watched it live and loved it so much but the rest of ordem intimidated me). i had practically no knowledge of portuguese, and had convinced myself that trying to learn it would be impossible so i shouldn’t even begin.

adjusting to the subtitles was hard! i’m eternally grateful for them, but my brain just wasn’t wired to focus on them. i had no connection to the characters yet, and the first two episodes felt slow. it took me months to finish them, a chunk at a time.

the third ep was a turning point—i was invested. i cared about the characters now, and i wanted to follow their story despite the inconvenience. and so i continued, slowly but surely, enjoying it but expecting myself to lose interest at some point as happens with many things.

another change—i had to take a break from the fandom i’d been focused on, and in that time osnf became what i turned to to fill the absence, and then a love of its own. it never seemed to run out—i watched episodes, finding that i’d adjusted enough that i could draw while watching. i lived with the characters, and i listened to them talk, and i discovered that i was understanding more and more.

like! not everything. not much. but some. i could turn the subtitles to portuguese and know what was going on for minutes at a time. it wasn’t much, perhaps, but i’d thought my sadly monolingual self couldn’t even make a start. any progress was exhilarating.

i committed to portuguese duolingo. i started portuguese busuu. i recognized the words and rules i was learning in the episodes. today, the day that i finished osnf, i have a 31 day streak. i’m not used to being able to keep a commitment this long—i used to struggle to get a week on duolingo and my history is littered with half-finished projects. amazingly, this one stuck. i’m proud of finishing all 16 episodes, and i’m proud of the things i’ve learned.

can i understand everything? absolutely not. can i understand more than i used to? yes! and i want to keep learning. osnf was a great experience as a story, but it also opened my eyes to so much more that’s out there.

i’m grateful to cellbit and the team who created ordem, obviously. i’m not over that final episode and i don’t expect to be anytime soon.

but equipe t made this possible for me. you guys are inspirations. obrigada.

#osnf #ordem paranormal #o segredo na floresta

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andithiel · 3 months

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End of year wrap up

I am so super late to this, but I’ve done this in the last few years and I think it’s a nice tradition to look back at the accomplishments I’ve achieved. 2022 was a very bleak year writing wise, and I’m happy to say that I’ve slowly started to get my mojo back a bit. My AO3 wordcount for 2023 was 36,936 words, but I’ve also posted some shorter things on tumblr, and I actually made a spreadsheet to track my progress and tally all my written words, including those that get deleted and also those not yet posted, and according to the spreadsheet I wrote 10k more. I still have a lot of WIPs hanging around in my drive, but I’ve managed to finish some of them, and I feel like I have more energy and excitement to finish some more, so, here’s hoping that 2024 will be the year that I actually end up with fewer WIPs at the end than at the beginning (something I tried back in 2020, before the world went up in flames).

Under the cut is what I published in 2023:

January

Fading in Love (locked to logged in users) (Drarry, Explicit, 5k) I wrote this as a belated birthday present for @sassy-sassy3, it’s an 8th year secret relationship with a lil’ sprinkle of magical theory regarding the Dark Mark.

February

I decided to try a few prompts for HD Candyhearts and ended up having a lot of fun with them:

Second Date AO3 tumblr (Drarry, Teen, 1,3k) with an insecure Draco after having spent the night with Harry.

The microfic Taste the love (for the prompt Sweet treats)

How deep is our love? AO3 tumblr (Drarry, Teen, 762 words) featuring established Drarry bickering and absolutely ridiculous Valentine’s cards.

The secret language of flowers AO3 tumblr (Drarry, Teen, 2k) featuring the classic tumblr post the fuck you bouquet.

Pillow microfic with Draco being a little shit

Charm me 8th year drabble FWB/secret relationship sort of vibes.

March

Take that ride (Drarry, Teen, 1,6k) I finally managed to write a fic idea that’s been scrambling around in my brain for ages. I wanted to create a mood and a feeling with this and I’m so happy with how it turned out.

I also wrote a short fuck or die drabble that I’m super proud of: Let me show you

June

Hold back the tide (Drarry, Teen, 2k) Another idea that’s been with me for years that I finally got out (despite not having written the fic that preludes this).

October

Thunderstruck (locked to logged in users) (Drarry, Explicit, 8k) My god, my beast, this fic resisted me and to top it all off I got covid right when I was about to finish it. I struggled with this so damn much, also wanting to create a vividness that doesn’t really come natural to me, but I’m so happy with how it came out in the end. Plus I got to collab with the amazing @fictional who, as usual, knocked it out of the park with her glorious art.

November

The Potter Malfoy bathroom war of 2007 (locked to logged in users) (Drarry, Explicit, 8k) Another fic that’s been with me for some time, although “only” a year. I saw the prompt for last year’s Suds when claims had closed, so I tried to forget about it but it wouldn’t leave me. I had so much fun writing this, I love writing Harry and Draco bickering and fighting with each other when we as readers know it’s basically their form of foreplay.

December

When it’s exactly twelve o’clock that night (Drarry, Teen, 6k) This was also a fic one year in the making. I started writing it to post on last New Year’s Eve, but I couldn’t finish it in five days (to my own astonishment), but I’m happy it got to marinate for a while because I added a scene with Scorpius that I’m very fond of.

I wasn't tagged by anyone and I'm sure people have already done this, but if this means you get another tag, consider pointing me to your own year wrap up so I can see it! @sassy-sassy3 @fictional @mystickitten42 @uncannycerulean @goblinmatriarch @phdmama @crazybutgood @dragonbornphoenix @wo2ash @rei382 @nv-md

#fic year in review #ao3 wrapped #andithielwrites #drarry

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forever-yoursxox · 22 days

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I started crocheting back in December. Despite my mom knowing how to, she never made amiguruni before, plus I’m left-handed whereas she’s right-handed, so I was basically on my own learning how to do it. I’m super proud of my progress, so here’s a few things I’ve made in the last four months!

#crochet #left hand crochet #left hand art #amigurumi #crochet amigurumi #crochet bunny #crochet bear #crochet dragon #crochet peep #crochet duckling #crochet deer #handmade

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justmelookingbackatme · 10 months

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What does it mean, to be proud? We have this whole month for it, thirty days of pride, and I have no idea what the word means. Am I proud? I celebrate pride, I wear pins with my flags and I go to the parades and I say all the right things. I say happy pride month and I say I’m proud all year round and I say I love being queer, but despite saying the right things, I don’t think I’m feeling the right things.

Am I proud of who I am? I try to be. I try to smile, try to believe it when I say that being queer is a good thing. I try to be proud, but shame burns in my chest and the fire won’t go out, so I think I’m lying to everyone. Lying to myself.

Does that make me a bad queer person? We’re supposed to celebrate who we are. We’re supposed to love ourselves. We’re not supposed to close our eyes and wish our queerness away.

I’ve heard people say that being queer is not a choice, but if it was, they would choose to be queer.

Would I choose this, if I had the option? I don’t know. I really don’t know. There’s a part of me that would absolutely choose to be queer, over and over. Being queer has given me so much joy– art, friendships, a deeper understanding of myself and the world around me. I wouldn’t trade that for the world, would I?

Would I? There’s another part of me that feels differently. If I could snap my fingers and set my queerness down, as though it was a weight on my shoulders, I would. Being queer has made me who I am– I wouldn’t be me if I snapped my fingers and made this choice. But this part of me believes it would be worth it, anything would be worth it to have been born in the right body.

Where does that leave me? Am I proud, or not? I would choose to be queer a thousand times over, and I would rid myself of my identity in an instant. I think this leaves me split down the middle. Half pride. Half self hatred.

Does being proud mean being out? In that case, I’m not sure where I fall, whether I count as proud. I’m stuck in a strange sort of in between-– one foot in a rainbow slide from target, the other foot rooted to the floor of the closet. I’ll wave a progress flag, but I won’t tell my parents my name. I feel so much guilt, like by being trans, I’m doing something wrong. I can’t be proud if I feel that way, can I?

The queer community is all about breaking down binaries. Gay or straight, male or female– we don’t limit ourselves to two options. So maybe I need to do this here, too. Am I proud, or am I ashamed? I’m neither. I’m both. I’m me, and my feelings on queerness are complicated. They can’t possibly be summed into a single word. But at the end of the day, my queerness is mine, and maybe one day I’ll learn to be truly proud of it.

#s's writing #queer #happy pride month have a thing

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secretobsessionstuff · 1 year

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🙊: So if I’m hearing you correctly, you need more Blair requests for balance… Yes? No? Yes. 😂

Blair and Dakota have been eating healthier and hitting the gym more to prep for their wedding. They’re committed but it totally sucks, so they decide to allow themselves one cheat day every other week. They pick up all their favorite snacks, junk food, desserts, etc, and usually spend the day pigging out, binging Netflix, and cuddling. Blair pigs out more than usual because Dakota surprises her with her favorite *insert food*. She packs herself to the absolute max, feeling sleepy and content even with her belly the fullest it’s ever been. Unfortunately, while Blair was busy filling her belly to the brim, her belly was busy coming down with the stomach flu she’d unknowingly caught earlier that week. NOTE: Her belly is bigger than it’s ever been, sickness bloat on top of the food, all of it loudly roaring and gurgling nonstop. It’s gonna be a long night…

Hello 🙊anon! Thank you so much for being patient since I know this request took a long time to be answered. I hope you and everybody who asked to see Blair next likes it. 💙

-------------------

Blair decided she wasn’t going to go overboard with this cheat day. Maybe one bowl of chips and a can of pop. That would be enough. She’d been feeling proud of her progress as the wedding day got closer and closer. She was excited about showing off her toned arms in her dress. The muscles in her shoulders and biceps encouraged her to keep this streak of good habits going.

And honestly, she wasn’t in dire need of this cheat day. Sure, it was going to be nice to eat junk food with Dakota while they watched The Queen’s Gambit, but the Queen was still going to dominate the chess board whether Blair indulged in sweets or not. Their night of Netflix and cuddles was all she needed to feel satisfied.

Usually, Blair would be vibrating with excitement as the cheat day got closer, but she’d been feeling sluggish and heavy throughout the week. Though her muscles were looking good, she wasn’t feeling 100%. Junk food would only weigh her down more. Yeah, it was decided; this would be a small night of indulgences.

And then that mindset when out the window as soon as Dakota unveiled what he’d been making her. She came home to the smell of cheese melting in the air. She too began to melt. All that stubborn refusal to indulge sloughed right off her toned shoulders when she saw the mac and cheese bubbling on the stove. Suddenly, her mouth watered, and her body craved something comforting and warm. After a tiring week, she realized that letting herself enjoy food might be exactly what needed.

“Babe, you shouldn’t have,” she told Dakota as they prepared binge food for the binge watching.

“Yes, I should have, and I did.” He kissed her cheek as he handed her a bowl of pure happiness. “I know this week hasn’t been the best at the gym. You’ve been pushing yourself so hard, and I can see it paying off. You deserve this break.”

He was right. Blair needed this. Two weeks ago, she was smashing personal records, but she could feel herself slowing down. The last three days at the gym showed that she was getting tired. It was time for a break—a break filled with cheese, chocolate, and salty snacks.

So, they watched a young girl kick ass at chess while melting into the couch. Dakota began feeding Blair at one point because she was too tired to reach for another brownie. She licked the chocolate off his fingers and sighed. “I’m so full.”

“Nah, I’ve seen you do more,” Dakota said.

“Well, it fits with the theme of the week which is ‘I could have done more’. More reps, more time…” Blair trailed off as movement in her stomach made her place a hand over her abdomen. Despite Dakota’s insistence, she couldn’t eat anymore. Her belly was full with mac and cheese, chips, and pop.

As soon as she’d taken that first bite, she knew it was going to be a glorious cheat day.

It had been a good day…for ten minutes. Then she got full, and she got full fast. Her stomach protested a lot sooner than it should have. “I’m sorry for being negative. I thought tonight would cheer me up.”

Dakota placed his hand over hers, on the mound that was her stomach. “Hey, it’s all good. You’re allowed to have these days. You wanna talk about what’s keeping you down?”

“I just—” she shifted around on the couch, trying to find the best position for her bloated belly. “I feel off. I don’t have as much energy and I’m so fucking sore.”

“Sore from working out?”

“No, it feels different.” She didn’t know how to explain it, but it was almost like the soreness that comes from the flu or a fever. She wanted to try to put her thoughts into words, but her stomach was talking enough for the both of them. The organ let out a loud gurgle and followed it up with a hearty belch that made her shiver. She quickly covered her mouth as Dakota chuckled. “God, my stomach hurts.”

Dakota ran his palm across her bloated belly. He let his thumb glide beneath the waist band of her pants, feeling the crest of her belly. He followed the slope down, amazed at how swollen it was. Her skin was warm. Very. “Bee, your stomach is so bloated and noisy.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t apologize.” He traced up the opposite direction now, again letting his fingers follow the curve. Her belly dipped sharply towards her ribs and chest. “I didn’t see you eat that much.”

“I don’t know why it’s so upset,” she moaned low in her throat until a pocket of air started to come up. She swallowed thickly but couldn’t make the pressure go away. The burp escaped loudly and wetly. It took her belly from overly full to outright nauseous. “Ugh, Kota, I feel sick to my stomach.”

“Do you want to move to the bathroom?”

Moving sounded like the worst possible idea. She imagined her tummy bouncing up and down, sending the contents sloshing into her esophagus. “No…I don’t know. I just want to feel better.”

Dakota could hear in her voice that she was beginning to worry. “Alright, we’ll stay here and I’ll rub your tummy, how’s that sound?”

“Okay,” she mumbled. She put her head on his chest and watched his hand glide under her shirt. She’d never seen her abdomen to distended. “Mmm, I don’t like this.”

“Shh, just relax.” Dakota used his other hand to play with her hair. He rubbed circles and lines across her body, hoping to lull her into a state of peace.

Her stomach certainly wasn’t at peace. He could feel it shifting and gurgling under his palm. He rubbed her stomach for twenty minutes, all the while it continued to make sick noises. Blair too made slight noises of discomfort. His touch was comforting but not enough to take her mind off the nausea.

“Honey, it doesn’t sound like I’m helping very much,” Dakota said. “What if we talk about something to distract you from the pain.”

“Fine. But no wedding stuff. Too stressful.”

“Got it.”

“And no food.”

“Obviously.”

“And no work”

Dakota pouted. “Aw, I was gonna ask about your assistant. I wish I had an assistant.”

“Piper is shadowing me. She’s not technically an assistant.”

“How can I get a shadow?”

“I don’t know. Go out in the sun?”

Dakota laughed and hugged her closer. “And how is your shadow doing with her training?”

“She’s great. Although she missed a few days last week because of…” Blair blinked quickly as her brain worked faster than her mouth. She couldn’t get the words out when the thoughts came rushing in. All of a sudden, she felt her cheeks drain of colour. Her stomach dropped and a cold sweat broke out across her skin.

“Because of what?” Dakota looked down at his glitching girlfriend. She got tense in his arms. He could feel the muscles she’d been building tighten. “Bee, you okay?”

Blair could only shake her head. The hand over her mouth stopped her from speaking. The saliva accumulating in her mouth and the nausea rising in her throat was largely due to a psychological response. Like a placebo effect, but not quite, she knew for a fact that she was about to vomit up her cheat day. She knew this, because a few days before Piper had missed work because of a stomach bug. Bugs tended to scurry to a new home, especially when a new breeding ground gave hugs at the end of every shift. This bug took its time decorating and moving into Blair’s system for an entire week. It renovated and redesigned her stomach and intestines, making itself at home. And now, her system was packed with junk food that just didn’t match the décor.

Blair shot up from where she rested her head on Dakota’s chest, but it was too late to make a move. She gagged into her hand and lurched forward. Muddy orange vomit came shooting out of her mouth, spewing between her fingers and dripping down her wrist.

“Holy sh—okay,” Dakota exclaimed as he too tensed up. He quickly sat up from his slouched position as sick landed on his chest and stomach. His sweater began soaking it up. He switched to breathing through his mouth when the sour stink of half-digested cheese and chocolate filled the space.

“Oh God, honey,” he cooed when Blair heaved again. He placed his palm on her lower back, feeling how rigid she’d become. “It’s all going to be okay. Breathe.”

But Blair couldn’t breathe. It just kept coming. The sick fell passed her lips in chunky waves that made her cringe and shiver. At least she managed to aim the third wave away from the both of them. It landed on the floor by the couch, just narrowly avoiding their sock covered feet. That would not have been a pleasant sensation if she missed the floor. She could only imagine how Dakota must feel. A sob clawed at her chest when she thought about everything that happened.

“I’m sorry. Kota, I’m sorry,” she mumbled as she wiped her mouth with her sleeve. Her chest hitched with every sharp inhale.

“Shh, baby. Relax. No need to apologize.” Dakota rubbed her back. “Give me another good breath.”

She did so slowly, letting a shaky inhale fill her lungs. The exhale was steadier, which they were both happy about.

Dakota gave a firm pat in the middle of her shoulder blades. “That’s it.” He wiped a tear off her cheek. “Are you alright now?”

Blair shook her head. “I’m sick.”

“Yes. Yes, you are.” Dakota looked down at the sludge on his torso. “This is cheating cheat day, you know.”

Blair let out a weak laugh, before going back to what she was saying. “No, like I’m actually sick. Piper had the stomach flu last week.”

“Damn…well that explains why you’re so warm,” Dakota said as he thumbed her burning cheek.

Blair sniffled and nodded. Moving once again seemed like the worst thing in the world, but she knew this break from vomiting was not going to last. She also knew there’d be many permanent stains if they didn’t start cleaning now.

Dakota must have been reading her mind. “Go sit in front of the toilet. You still look pale.” He thought back to the seconds before she lost it all. “Fuck, Bee, your face got so white. I thought there was a ghost in the living room for a sec.” But his fiancée did not have the energy to reply with anything witty. So, he just kissed her temple and sent her away. “Go, I’ve got to clean this up before it sticks.”

“Give me your sweater. I’ll throw it in the bathtub.”

Dakota stripped. Now shirtless, he realized he too was very bloated, though not from a bug but from overeating. This had been one hell of a cheat day.

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valyalyon · 1 month

Text

December 18, 2024

The wedding day! Not crazy sexual, just a fluff/argument post. Enjoy! DIE MASTER LIST OR #LYONDIE

Papago Park was my favorite regular park in the Phoenix area. There were large sandstone rocks, beautiful crimson sand, and a lake among many things...

CW: Explicit language, arguments.

...We had decided it would be the location for our wedding within a couple days of Raphael’s proposal.

Raphael had handled inviting our witnesses, the officiant, and his parents and two older siblings. I took care to invite my sister and my parents, they had missed my first wedding and I was really happy that they all agreed to come.

Everyone was at the park by 7am but I wasn’t far behind. They waited for me by the mound and I made my way along the park walkways. I met up with my dad and he complimented me, as he took my hand to lead me to Raphael.

As I came into view of the wedding party, I held my breath, seeing Raphael standing beside the officiant.

His long hair was neatly put back into a bun, and he wore a black suit that looked amazing on him. With his suit there was a white tie and a white shirt underneath. His eyes were just as dark as always, staring across the way to me.

I wanted to be inside his head. I wanted to ask him again, are you sure you want me? But, he was standing tall. He was standing proud. Waiting for me.

I stood allowing everyone to see my dress, then started making my way over with my dad.

My dress was so beautiful. It was an A-line lace wedding dress, off-shoulder, with long sleeves. It had beautiful beadwork and was decorated with gorgeous pearls. I had a high slit on my leg, exposing skin while I walked towards him.

I also wore a veil that was short in the front, covering from collarbone up, and then it got progressively longer towards the back and flowed to the ground. It was delicate and it was held slightly higher by a tiara I wore atop my head.

I wanted to shine for our wedding and really feel beautiful, seeing as I had felt so awful with my first wedding and the marriage had fallen apart, I decided I wanted to think more about my wedding. While we were still getting married fairly quick, I was just glad to have him.

Especially with what we found out last night. The fact that he’s here just proves so much to me. He wants me, despite anything. I’m just lucky to have him.

My father stopped with me at the end of the aisle in front of Raphael. Raphael stepped towards my father and shook his hand.

“Cuídala,” was all my father said, a simple gesture of concern from a caring father.

With that, my father turned towards me, kissing my head and bowing away to his seat after handing me over.

I took Raphael’s hand in mine, having given my flowers to Sara, who was standing on my side with my family. I smiled up at him through my veil.

As we got to the vows, Raphael lifted my veil away from my face, letting it rest neatly while I read my vows to him, “You have stepped up to be the hero in my life, I’ve decided to do everything in my power to keep you happy. I want to live a peaceful, fruitful life with you, where we can grow and experience life together. Through all the waves, the endless battles, I want to be there with you.”

Raphael took his turn, a smile was on his handsome face, “thank you for being mine. You look amazing… I vow to be your rock, your home, your steady guide. I vow to stand at your side, behind you, or wherever you want me. I will worship the ground you walk on. I will love you forever.”

Within a couple seconds, the officiant asked the famous question, “do you, Raphael Santos, take Dolores Ortiz to be your lawfully wedded wife for as long as you both shall live?”

“I do,” Raphael nodded his head, his smile was so cute, I could feel butterflies in my tummy.

“And do you, Dolores Ortiz, take Raphael Santos to be your lawfully wedded husband for as long as you both shall live?” The officiant asked.

“I do,” I said, happily. My eyes were gazing up into his.

“Raphael, you may now kiss your bride,” the officiant stepped aside as the photos were taken.

Raphael took a step closer to me, and took me by the waist, giving me a sweet kiss, then dipping me for the photos.

I was laughing with joy against his lips.

He stood me back up and in that moment I noticed Julius for the first time. He was standing behind Raphael and that was all I noticed, too distracted by my current joy I immediately turn my attention back to Raphael.

Regardless, it was too late. Raphael had seen me stop looking at him for a second and something had snapped in him. He looked completely normal to everyone around, but I could tell he was mad and I was starting to get pretty heated about it, too.

Despite that, Raphael and I fulfilled our appearance. We were surrounded by friends and family checking if we’d be meeting up for breakfast but, Raphael explained our honeymoon plans.

We had planned to have a honeymoon in Phoenix, this would be only a week, and then within a year we’d finish the full three weeks of the honeymoon somewhere else. Regardless, we had to start our honeymoon immediately because of our work schedules.

Understanding our predicament, both our families decided we’d schedule dinners sometime in the next month for them to take us out. Julius and Sara weren’t talking too much.

Through most of Raphael’s conversation with our families, I was carrying Theo in my arms, kissing his cheeks and loving up on him since I wouldn’t see him for a week. He’d be staying with my family and I was glad that he would get to play with dogs and just have fun, but I knew I’d miss him.

I knew Raphael and I definitely needed time as a couple though, away from Theo. So I wasn’t upset about the decision, I just knew the mommy guilt would creep in on occasion.

Theo and I were laughing with each other when Raphael said it was time to go, I kissed Theo all over and told him to be a good baby for his gramma. He just laughed, I handed him to her, and took my new husband’s hand.

The moment we were no longer in view of the wedding party, our argument started.

“Why the fuck were you staring at Julius?” Raphael asked, angrily.

“I looked over at him for a second!” I shouted in my own defense, annoyed by his jealousy. I tore my hand away from him, not wanting to be restrained to him if he kept getting more angry.

“Not. For. One. Second,” he measured his voice and reached over to grab my hand and take it back. He kissed my hands, almost restraining his rage and seemingly holding back from squeezing my hand and breaking it.

“What the fuck do you want from me? You’re the one that invited your best friend that almost proposed to me to our wedding!” I tore my hand away from his grasp again.

“Oh, would you have preferred it was him you were marrying?” He asked me, his voice getting a little louder.

“Oh my fucking God. Don’t twist my words,” I picked up my skirt, and started walking faster towards Raphael’s car.

Raphael sped up, but easily kept pace with me since I was storming through the desert in hells. I was so annoyed with Raphael in that moment. Since he had asked me to be his, I had been nothing but loyal and happy and in love with him.

But, he was always jealous.

“Take off those heels,” He told me quite forcefully.

“No, fuck you,” I responded angrily.

“You’re going to twist your ankle,” His voice was getting louder and more mad.

“It’ll be your fault,” I seethed with rage.

Raphael responded by letting out a groan, a very angry, frustrated sound, and then lifting me off the ground and into his arms.

He carried me like a bride was supposed to be carried and I stared at him, blushing.

Still angry, he didn’t look at me. He made his way to his car, opened the door while still carrying me, and sat me down in the seat. He shut the door, and got in the other side.

I crossed my arms and put my knees together, turning to look away from him.

He took a deep breath.

He was silent for a minute.

I didn’t dare look at him. I kept my eyes fixed on the fog on the window. When he was angry like this, he needed to have control. Me looking him in the eyes would satisfy him and intensify the control. He would get his fix. I was his drug after all.

“Look at me,” he said, putting his hand on my shoulder.

“Is that a request or a demand?” I asked him, staring at the condensation on the glass.

“Both, Lola, please…” he dropped his head on my shoulder and kissed my exposed arm, then my neck. He was starting to search for my eyes.

So I made eye contact with him, but my expression was that of a wounded kitten. I felt that way in my soul, and his expression made me realize how transparent I was.

He dropped his eyes for a second and then looked back into mine, “Dolores… Princess… I’m sorry.”

“I wanted to be with you, Raphael. That’s why I married you today. We are a family. I’m sorry that I broke eye contact with you to look anywhere else. I wasn’t trying to avoid your eye and I wasn’t trying to fantasize about someone else. I think you know what you were doing to J’s psyche by inviting him to be our witness.

I think you hurting your best friend like that was mean and from the moment I saw he was the witness I felt that way. I did not change my mind about marrying you though. I still wanted you and only you through all of it and even now. I don’t know what you want from me though. I’m already doing my best.”

“Yeah. I think I might have overstepped by doing that. Can’t say I didn’t think about the consequences, I just didn’t want to admit that I might not be able to hold my cool when you’re around him. I’m a jealous person, I’ll say it,” Raphael admitted.

“Him and I have always been competing. When I fell in love with you and realized you were his, I didn’t know what to fucking do with myself. And even now the whole paternity scare… I just don’t want to lose you. To anyone. I want this forever.”

“You confuse me so much. We’re married, Raphael. Whatever competition you created with Julius doesn’t exist. I just want to be the best wife for you,” I told him and he leaned in to kiss me.

“Thanks for marrying me,” Raphael smiled at me, “You look so beautiful, Dolores. I’m really the luckiest man. I can’t wait to have you to myself for this week.”

“I bet, seeing as you’re such an insecure man that I can’t be around other men or you’ll get angry,” I smiled up at him, I was pushing his buttons and I was doing it on purpose.

“That’s not true,” he said, trying to defend himself, and then starting to drive towards the resort we’d be staying at.

“Prove it. Let’s go to a nightclub one of these nights. I want to dance and grind against you all night, and I want to see what you do in a room full of men that want me,” I was holding his right hand as he drove.

“Fine.” He agreed.

#dark romance #argument #possesive love #writeblr #booklr #lyondie #bluestlyon #original story #creative writing

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potionsprefect · 1 year

Text

Staying In

Pairings: Ethan Ramsey x Victoria Clarke

Word Count: 954

Summary: Victoria is left disappointed when she is sick on her birthday

Rating: General Audiences

Category: Fluff

The excitement of her birthday was overshadowed when she woke up feeling like she had been hit by a truck. She had been feeling bad for a few days and thought she would at least be feeling better by the time her birthday rolled around.

Sadly, it appeared that wasn’t meant to be.

At least I have the day off, Victoria thought. Ethan did too, they had plans to go do some shopping but Victoria didn’t have the energy. Ethan said they could do whatever she wanted and today, she wanted to stay indoors and watch movies.

“Are you ready for your birthday breakfast?” A voice said from the door.

Victoria grinned as Ethan walked into the room, tray in hand, followed by Jenner who jumped onto the bed.

“Pancakes? On my birthday? Aren’t I lucky.” Victoria smiled as Ethan set the tray across her lap.

“Your first birthday as a wife should be a special one.” Ethan replied as he sat on the bed beside her. “And I think you should be proud of my effort. I didn’t even need to start another packet.”

Victoria laughed. “That’s good progress.” She tucked into the pancakes. “They taste great!”

“I’m glad. Are you feeling any better this morning?” Ethan asked.

“I feel so tired and I don’t understand why! It’s probably PMT but I know I’m late by a couple of days and I’ve never had it this bad before.” Victoria sighed.

Ethan put an arm around her. “What would you like to do today?”

“I know we said we’d go shopping but can we just stay in instead and watch movies? And order takeout?”

“Of course we can. The birthday girl gets to decide what she wants to do.” Ethan pressed a kiss to the side of her head.

“I thought I’d at least feel better by today.” Victoria huffed.

“Well, when you are I’ll take you out and treat you.” Ethan smiled.

“That would be great.” Victoria smiled back.

Victoria finished the rest of her pancakes, and got ready for the day. She made her way into the living room and sat down as Jenner cuddled up beside her on the couch.

Ethan sat down next to her. “You’ll feel better in a few days.”

“I know. It’s just frustrating. I hate being sick.” Victoria grumbled.

Ethan laughed. “At least you’ve got someone to take good care of you. Now what would you like to watch? I brought your favourite snacks as well.”

Victoria pressed a kiss to his cheek. “You’re the best husband ever.”

“How many have you had?” Ethan raised an eyebrow.

Victoria rolled her eyes. “I’m supposed to make the jokes out of the two of us.”

“So I’m not allowed to have at least one joke every now and then?” Ethan laughed.

“I’ll make an exception.”

Ethan pressed a kiss to her lips. “Thanks.”

He queued the film up and wrapped a blanket around the two of them, pulling Victoria into his arms. She snuggled against him as the movie played on the screen.

It might not have been the most exciting birthday but for her it was perfect. And that was all that mattered.

Ethan could feel her falling asleep beside him and by the time the movie finished she was fast asleep in his arms. It was only early morning but Victoria had been more tired than usual and was finding herself dozing off at different times of the day.

She looked so peaceful, his Victoria was the most precious thing in his life and he would go to the ends of the earth for her. So when she said she had been feeling ill the last couple of days, he couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed that his birthday plans for her had to be changed.

After shopping, he had planned a romantic meal for her back at the house, followed by a hot bath and then ending the evening in bed. Despite none of that going ahead, he still hoped she would have a good birthday, even if she wasn’t feeling 100% herself.

He had been thinking about her symptoms. Being late on her period was nothing unusual but add together the tiredness and even a little nausea (which she denied but Ethan could read Victoria like a book), he suspected that maybe her symptoms were something more.

His heart raced at the thought of it. They had been trying for a few months. Has that joyous moment finally arrived? He didn’t want to push her into doing a test, she would discover her symptoms on her own and when she did, she would do the test.

Ethan pressed a gentle kiss to Victoria’s head, smiling to himself when she sighed happily and snuggled closer. If she did do a test and it was positive, the moment they had been waiting for would’ve finally arrived.

They thought she was pregnant a few months ago but a test came back negative. Ethan reassured Victoria that it would happen for them soon but he could tell she was a little disappointed and truth be told, he was too.

They had planned what room they would use for the baby and had picked out some colour schemes. But in order to properly start preparing, Victoria needed the pregnancy test to be positive. Until then, they could brainstorm as much as they wanted.

Ethan tightened his arms around his wife, holding her close. She made him the happiest man alive and no matter what the date or circumstance, he would always have a smile on his face because of her.

His Victoria was the most amazing woman and he couldn’t wait for whatever next journey they faced next.

Little does they know that there are two little babies inside Victoria’s stomach 😉

Tagging in reblog

#open heart #ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #ethan ramsey x victoria clarke #ethan x victoria #playchoices #fanfic #open heart fanfic #open heart fanfiction #choices: open heart #fluff #choices fic writers creations #fics of the week

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liuvli · 1 year

Text

Critical Darling

pairing: eddie munson x fem!goth!reader

summary: It's your senior year. You're a "goth freak" and you definitely stand out, but it doesn't bother you. You're proud of who you are, and nobody is going to change that. Not even the person that motivated you to be so proud in the first place. Eddie "The Freak" Munson.

warnings: she/her pronouns, slow burn, cursing, alcohol, smoking, eventual smut, minor use of y/n, slightly bitchy reader, work in progress

tags: first meetings, pov second person, s4 doesn’t happen, goth!reader, tradgoth!reader, fluff, angst, eddie & chrissy friendship, reader is a little fruity

all fic chapters & ao3 link

chapter wc: 6.6k

Chapter Three: Leather Doll

“-up. Hey, wake UP!” You stirred awake at the sound of a fist hammering on your bedroom door, your sister's voice taking a minute longer to process. As you dragged the pad of your middle finger over your eyelids, attempting to wipe the sleep away, you managed to open a singular eye, your vision blurred but still able to make out the shape of the girl standing in your open doorway.

“Huh…? What time is it?” As you lifted the quilt off your body, you kicked your legs over the side of the bed, sitting up with your arms stretched out above your head.

“Phone’s ringing,” April replied, not answering the question you had actually asked. Groaning, you stood up and smoothed the t-shirt you were wearing out, sluggishly pushing past the short girl to make your way down the hall towards the staircase. She followed behind with a bowl of cereal in her hands.

“Why couldn’t you have answered it? You’re a big girl, you don’t need me to answer the phone anymore.” You chuckled at the comment you made, April scoffing as she pushed past you to beeline into the kitchen.

“‘Cause, it’s not for me.”

“Hello…?” Your eyes snapped open at the loud voice on the other end replying to you, and as the person spoke, you finally realized who it was.

“G’morning, love! How is my favorite person in the entire world doing on this sunny Saturday?” Although you were the one who had been awake for only a maximum of 5 minutes, the chipper tone of Kace’s voice seemed so unwarranted for it being so early in the day.

“I’m doing… good, Kace. I’ve been awake for about 30 seconds but still, doing amazing.” The way you annunciated the last word was telling of how sarcastic you were trying to seem while saying it, but apparently, that point didn’t get across to your friend. You walked out into the hallway with the landline still in your hand, the cord stretching to its limit as you turned the corner, looking at your puffy-eyed reflection in the mirror that hung on the wall.

“Great! Meet me at the diner in town at 2. See you there, love!” Before you could object to the boy’s preposterous demand, a click sounded through the phone as Kace hung up on you, the dial tone ringing into your ear as you groaned into the receiver. Knowing you had no other choice, you made your way back into the kitchen, placing the landline back onto the wall as you looked up at the clock. 12:24 pm. The late time you had woken up didn’t surprise you much as you recalled staying awake until 4 that same morning, just listening to music whilst reading one of the books you had acquired from the town’s bookstore earlier on in the week.

“You going out?” April perked up, chewing on a mouthful of honeycomb cereal as she stared up at you through messy parted bangs. Despite how much you didn’t feel like leaving the house so soon, you accepted defeat as it was Kace who was asking you to leave the house. Not having the energy to return a verbal response to the girl, you lazily nodded before dragging yourself out of the room, heading back up to your own room to get dressed.

With some of your favorite music playing on the stereo you had on your desk, you were just about ready to leave the house over an hour later. You had spent the hour or so teasing and hair spraying your locks into a dark, frizzy mane, and painting your face with the palest drugstore foundation you could find, accentuating your features with black makeup of all different kinds. For it being October in Hawkins, and with just a single glance through your closed curtains, it seemed to be a warm, sunny day outside, which meant you chose one of your thinner draping dresses to wear; one with short sleeves that would still look somewhat okay with your black laced gloves and whatever silver jewelry you had thrifted over time.

Being conscious of the time and not wanting to be late for Kace, you poked your head into the living room, looking around for April as your eyes finally locked onto her sitting on the couch. You tapped the door frame, trying to grab her attention away from whatever was in her lap as you spoke.

“I’m leaving now. I’ll be back in a bit, and I’ve got my keys but if you decide to go anywhere, make sure to lock up with the spare key on the hook. ‘Kay, Apricot?” Strangely, the blonde didn’t perk up, even at the awful nickname you had been calling her since the beginning of time. Instead, she absentmindedly dismissed you with a nod, scrawling something into the notebook in her hands. Hoping she had somewhat listened, you finally left the house, slipping your headphones onto your head as you played the cassette you already had in your walkman.

After a long trek into town whilst listening to one of your many mixtapes, you had finally reached the diner, slipping the headphones off the back of your head and letting them rest around your neck as your face scrunched up in dis-ease, an uncomfortable feeling settling thick in your chest.

Your eyes landed on a van that was parked outside the diner in one of the parking spaces. It shouldn’t have made you feel so off, but for some reason, it did. It looks… familiar. But you couldn’t pinpoint why. Choking down the strange feeling lodged in your throat, trying to rid yourself of it, you made your way into the diner, hoping that spending time with Kace would serve as a distraction.

As you made your way inside, your eyes darted around the semi-busy establishment, landing on a few people sitting at tables and booths. None of them were Kace, and you couldn’t see him anywhere, despite the fact that he usually stuck out like a sore thumb due to his bold, dark fashion choices, similar to your own, of course. Thinking that maybe you had gotten the time wrong or something, you look up at the clock on the wall above the counter, and sure enough, it had just hit 2:05 pm. As you were about to step outside to see if Kace’s car was even in the parking lot, the sound of a door opening caught your attention as you turned your attention over to the noise. As if he could sense your presence in the room as he walked out of the restroom, Kace’s head turned and his dark eyes locked with yours, a wide grin forming on his lips. The tall boy giddily walked over to one of the booths, sliding down onto a seat as he waved his hand at you, beckoning you to join him.

He was sitting at a table with a few other people, and the gears started turning in your head as you recognized a few of the faces, specifically those belonging to Mike Wheeler and Dustin Henderson, two boys you knew through your sister being in the same grade as them. She had told you stories about the boys ever since she first went the middle school with them. Absolute menaces, from what you had gathered.

Dragging your eyes away from the two bickering freshman, skimming over a few other unfamiliar faces and heads, your attention lands on the back of a single head in particular. Long, brown, knotted curls draped over a pair of broad, slumped shoulders, arms extending out towards the table as the figure rambled on about something you couldn’t quite distinguish. It was him, there was no doubt about it. His theatrics and iconic lion’s mane were recognizable to anyone. Why the fuck was Kace sitting at a table with the last person you wanted to see right now?

Figuring it’d be less awkward to take a seat at the booth rather than making a complete 180, walking out of the diner and never being seen again, you cautiously stepped towards the table, assuring to avoid letting your curious eyes fall on the face of the brunette as you slid onto the seat next to Kace, conveniently managing to place yourself directly opposite the one you dreaded acknowledging the most. Itching to understand the situation you had managed to get yourself into on that fateful Saturday afternoon, you cocked your head towards Kace, leaning closer to the boy to ensure only he could hear you speak.

With a low, agitated whisper, you ask, “Care to explain how and why I’m currently sat across from the fucking Eddie Munson right now on a sunny afternoon when I could be elsewhere instead? You know, literally anywhere else.” The boy sitting at your side let his eyes flit down to the table in front of you, before coming back up to lock with yours, and the small accidental gesture made you follow suit. And that’s when you noticed it.

Sprawled across the table were numerous pens, pencils, and sheets of paper, along with the diner’s menus. The vast amount of crumpled sheets of paper had words messily scribbled on each of them, all in different handwriting styles and colored pens. They were DnD planning sheets, and character sheets, from what you could tell. During one of your many hangout sessions over the years, you could recall the gothic boy you had known since you could remember talking your ear off once about the dreaded game that the parents of Hawkins seemed to loathe, and yet obsess over entirely at the same time.

You didn’t understand the attraction of the roleplaying game, but you did know that the way Kace spoke about it meant it was something he loved more than anything he had ever spoken about to you before. Middle school was when he played it the most with friends he had met at summer camps, but the second high school rolled around, he seemed to have forgotten about it. From the predicament you were in now, however, apparently, he hadn’t forgotten at all.

The pieces started to click together in your head as you began to understand what Kace was there for, but it didn’t answer the question you more importantly needed answering; why were YOU there?

A once-in-a-lifetime warm, sunny October day in the miserable town of Hawkins, and I’m sitting in a stuffy diner with a traitor, who I once called my best friend, a table of boys I had never had the pleasure of talking to, and the one person I absolutely did not want to see today, or ever, in fact. Lovely, how great. I’m so lucky to be alive right now.

“Well...” Kace’s raspy voice snapped you out of your thoughts as he finally decided to grace you with an attempt at a valid explanation, “I heard around school that Hendy and Wheeler were looking for a sub for Hellfire seeing as one of their members had to bail last minute for some other shit, and you know how much I’ve always wanted to play DnD with an actual club.” As you processed his words, your eyes wandered around the table, observing the 6 boys that had crammed into the one booth, each of them preoccupied with discussing things amongst themselves or scrawling messy notes onto sheets of lined paper.

Kace was right, you had always known how much he wanted to play with an established team. But his reasonable explanation still didn’t answer your burning question.

“Right… okay. Why am I here, though? I don’t know shit about this game, and I sure as hell won’t be learning any time soon.” Returning back to making eye contact with the slim boy hunched over next to you, he rolled his eyes as his fingers picked a pencil up from the table in front of him, tapping the pink eraser at the end of it against a sheet of paper.

“… I need my support animal with me in these difficult times. Truth be told, I’ve never actually spoken to anyone here before yesterday, so planning a DnD campaign with two freshmen and some guys I don’t know seemed kinda… shit. Figured it wouldn’t hurt if I invited a plus one.” The tight-lipped, smug smile on Kace’s face made your blood boil as the cockiness in his tone was ever apparent.

“Why the fuck am I your support animal? I thought I was your love, your dearest, most precious friend.” Trying to not reveal the slight annoyance you felt despite Kace’s understandable excuse for dragging you out of your house on a Saturday, you gently nudged the boy in his side with your elbow, laughing quietly as his tense shoulders softened at your lighthearted response.

“You are, love. You are.”

With a final, defeated sigh, you turned your attention back to the rest of the group sitting around the table, allowing Kace to continue writing down notes on a crumpled, coffee-stained sheet of paper. Not really knowing what you were supposed to do whilst acting as the boy’s “support animal”, you let your eyes skim across the faces of the others, trying to figure out the identities of the few you weren’t familiar with.

After a few short seconds of no names coming to mind, your gaze managed to finally land on the brunette sitting directly across from you.

…What the fuck…?

Eddie’s deep, brown eyes were wide, somehow bigger than their usual doe-like appearance, and the lower half of his face was masked by a thick tuft of hair from the side of his head which he was holding over his mouth, hiding whatever expression he was holding underneath. His eyes were boring into you, making your skin feel warm and itchy as you felt as if you were being watched like an animal in a zoo. Trying to shake off the uncomfortable feeling created by Eddie’s eyes remaining so scarily and persistently trained on your face, you shifted in your seat as if trying to shrink in on yourself. Maybe if you were smaller and shrank down to the size of a bug, he wouldn’t be staring at you so intensely.

However, the decision to attempt to shrivel in on yourself was your biggest mistake as your legs crossed under the table, and in par, the end of your boot grazed against Eddie’s leg, presumably dragging up his shin. Despite your internal monologue cursing out prayers to the almighty God that was supposed to be up there somewhere, the audible hitch in the boy’s breath and the way his entire frame stiffened at the contact was a clear indication that he had, in fact, noticed the accidental touch of your boot against his denim-clad shin.

Against your own wishes, your eyes flicked back up and locked with his, immediately regretting doing so as you noticed the… disgust(?) on Eddie’s face. Almost as if he couldn’t even bare to be sitting across from you, let alone making any type of bodily contact with you (the feeling mutual, of course), the lids of his wide eyes fluttered in a sort of twitching motion. Before you could even do anything, such as apologize or run out of the diner, never to be seen again (something that seemed especially appealing today), the boy scrambled to slide out one of the laminated menus from under numerous sheets of paper, holding the large object up to his face and covering it in its entirety. As he did so, the dark curls peeking out from under the menu shifted on his shoulders, indicating that he had turned his head to face the younger boy sitting next to him, who quickly followed suit, eyes skimming past your face before fully landing on Eddie.

As the two boys muttered behind the thin (and magically soundproof) laminated menu, you watched as the metalhead’s free hand waved around at his side, a sign that he clearly wasn’t exactly overjoyed about something. Twisting the rings around your fingers anxiously and trying to look at just about anything and everything in the room that wasn’t the silent scene in front of you, your eyes snapped back to look at Eddie and the boy in the sleeveless plaid jacket as the older male dropped the laminated menu onto the table to expose his face once again, eyes half-lidded in annoyance and an overall resigned look on his face. The brunette with the shorter hair shook his head expectantly as if waiting for Eddie to continue with his tantrum. With one last glance over at you as if to remind the metalhead that you were still there, Eddie breathed out an agitated, yet defeated sigh/groan, just like the one you had given Kace minutes before.

Allowing Gareth to go back to discussing something with Wheeler and Henderson, Eddie turned his body to face you again, fidgeting in his seat to stretch his legs out under the table. His boot briefly entered your vision as the obnoxious gesture made it so the scuffed, leather shoe placed itself on the floor, slotted in between your own two boots. Rolling your eyes, you slid your headphones back onto your head, leaving one of the sides off of the ear that was closest to Kace, just in case the boy needed something from you. Preparing to waste your day sitting in a stuffy diner with a group of boys you entirely weren’t familiar with, and the infamous Eddie Munson, you pressed the play button on your walkman, allowing Joy Division to quietly play through the one headphone that was on your ear.

Throughout the next few hours, all the way through to somewhere around 6:30 pm, you resorted to being the one to make constant trips to order more food and drinks for the table, essentially turning yourself into the mom of the group. Over the span of four hours, you had dabbled in a few conversations the boys were having that weren’t entirely DnD related, grasping at any type of topic of conversation you could involve yourself in. Surprisingly, through the power of human connection, you had learned the names of the once nameless boys and had additionally learned that not all Hellfire members were aggravating pains in your ass.

From what DnD-related conversations you had listened in on, you gathered that the boys were mostly coming up with ideas for future campaigns, assisting Kace in writing up a character sheet, and figuring out how to implement the boy’s character into their current team.

Despite how bored you had been the entire time, listening to both sides of your cassette twice and scribbling small drawings on a piece of paper Kace had given to you, you found yourself content with the situation you were in. Although it wasn’t how you’d usually spend your Saturdays, you enjoyed seeing Kace so happy and social, talking to people about something he had loved since the start of time itself. Even if Hellfire was only a temporary fix for him until their missing player, Lucas Sinclair, was freed from the restraints of basketball practice, a strictly scheduled occurrence enforced by Jason Carver himself, you knew Kace would make the most of being Hellfire’s sub.

Seeing Kace so authentically happy was great and all, but you were still bored. There are only enough times that you can listen to the same cassette in a short period of time before it gets repetitive, you know? Along with the long, awkward silence you had engulfed yourself in for the majority of the past few hours, you were also aching from how cramped up you felt. Eight people crammed into a single curved diner booth wasn’t really an issue, surprisingly; instead, it was the fact that you had chosen to keep yourself shriveled up in a small space, as earlier’s boot-knocking incident had you taking extra measures to ensure it wouldn’t happen again. This resulted in Eddie keeping his legs stretched out under the table just centimeters away from yours the entire time, only moving away whenever he had to stand for someone to get out of the booth or when he himself needed to go to the restroom. At this rate, you’d fossilize where you were sitting because of how you had managed to condense yourself into the smallest space possible like a sardine in a tin.

Sitting back in your seat with your arms crossed, nails scratching at the skin on one of your thumbs, and walkman and headphones tucked away into your bag, your eyes wandered across the table absentmindedly, taking note of all the empty glasses in front of everyone. Thank the Lord.

“Anyone need refills?” As you spoke up, the boys all turned their attention onto you, the clinking of glasses being pushed towards you sounding instantly at the same time. A couple of the boys murmured quiet ‘thank you’s as they continued talking amongst themselves, but Dustin spoke louder than the others.

“Thank you again. We’d be truly lost without you.” He nodded his head as he spoke, tipping his ‘Thinking Cap’ at you with a wide smile on his face. Collecting as many of the glasses in your arms as you could possibly hold without bearing the risk of dropping anything, you snorted at his somewhat genuine appreciation of you.

“No worries, Henderson.” You nodded in response to the boy as you began walking over to the counter with just about half of the empty glasses the boys had placed in front of you, making a mental note to go back to retrieve the leftover glasses that you couldn’t hold.

Reaching the counter, the glasses clanked against each other as you set them down, feigning a dramatic huff and placing your hands on your hips in an exhausted mannerism. The girl working the counter turned around with a glass in hand, wiping the inside of it with a white dishcloth as she smiled warmly at you, before grabbing the dirty glasses and placing them on the countertop behind her.

“You, like, their mom or something? This is your fifth time coming up to the counter to order stuff for them,” she lightheartedly joked, giggling to herself. With a breathy laugh, you sat down on one of the stools at the counter, trying to avoid ruining your makeup as you leaned your cheek on your palm, elbow digging into the cold surface it rested on.

“Pfft, yeah, I basically am. The one with the similar get-up to me invited me here earlier without telling me what for, and now I’m stuck playing babysitter.” The blonde chuckled, pulling a pen and small notepad out of her breast pocket as she readied to take another order from you.

“Tough luck,” she paused before asking you anything further, “actually, I’ve still got your drinks order from earlier written down here. You want me to just get you what you got then?” Grateful for her expert customer service skills, and ability to sense when someone just needed a bit of a break, you beamed at her in relief, holding your hands together in prayer.

“God, yes, thank you. Forever grateful for your support in these trying times, hun.” With another giggle, the girl tucked her notepad and pen back into her pocket, giving you one last sweet glance before turning on her heel to start preparing the drinks.

You watched the girl happily work as she hummed along to the quiet radio playing on the counter next to you, her blonde ponytail swaying with each movement she made. The cheerful pep in her step was refreshing the see in a town like Hawkins, especially after the long day you had been through. Much to your dismay, you were snapped out of the short moment of calm you were in as you sensed a body slide onto the stool directly next to yours, a hand decorated generously in chunky, silver rings placing a few empty classes on the counter entering the corner of your vision.

Shit. Speaking to the cute waitress made me forget about those glasses… fuck.

Thankfully, despite your apparent incompetence to remember the mental note you had made, Eddie had decided to bring the other few empty glasses to the front, something you almost found yourself thanking him for. That was, of course, until you remembered exactly who he was. Eddie Munson. Instead, you stayed silent, keeping your eyes trained on the blonde happily dancing to the pop song playing on the radio.

“Got a few more glasses for you here, Cunningham. You’re welcome,” he finally spoke, and the fact that he addressed the girl by a name had you intrigued. Did he know the girl? Thinking about it, the girl did seem somewhat familiar…

“Thanks, Eddie,” the blonde turned around for a second, grabbing the glasses and placing them on the back worktop with the others, “you guys doing your… Dungeons and Dragons stuff? It is called that, right?” The brunette let out a boyish chuckle, grinning as he fidgeted with the rings around his fingers idly.

“Yeah, that’s right. And yeah, we are. ‘M hoping to start a new campaign next week with the boys and we’re just trying to get a few things rearranged and sorted seeing as one of our players is preoccupied with your boyfriend’s incessant need to keep a strict practice schedule.” As he responded, the girl fully turned her body to face him, her shoulders slumping and arms dropping at her sides as she wore an apologetic expression.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry. You know how Jason can get when it comes to basketball. I can try and get him to ease up on Sinclair, if you want-”

“No, no, it’s fine. Honestly. We’ve got Hayes subbing for the time being, so there’s no need. Thanks for the offer though.” Giving the boy one last sincere smile, she turned back around the continue working on the back countertop.

No longer occupied with his interaction with the blonde waitress, Eddie turned his attention over to you, trying to not make it obvious as you both locked eyes. Eddie “The Freak” Munson and the Chrissy Cunningham… were friends? For a reason you could most definitely place, that possibility seemed alien to you.

“That’s the strangest crossover I’ve ever seen.” The now-silent boy cocked an eyebrow at you, still idly fidgeting with the rings on his fingers.

“You and the queen of Hawkins High. Didn’t know you knew each other.” With a quiet scoff beforehand, Eddie laughed snarkily at your comment, grabbing onto a few of the beverages Chrissy had placed on the countertop in front of the two of you.

“Yeah, well, I know a lot of people, doll. Don’t get too jealous, will you?” With a single obviously sarcastic, half-assed smile, Eddie made his way back to the booth where everyone was sitting, placing the glasses he had carried over in front of a few people.

You sat silent, in a mixture of offense and awe as Chrissy turned around and placed a few more full glasses on the counter, tightening her ponytail before leaning against the cold surface, her eyes locked onto Eddie just as yours were.

“Don’t mind him. He’s probably just annoyed that he’s paying for an unexpected party member’s drinks.” As the girl spoke, your eyes widened as your snapped your head to the side to face her, lips slightly parted in shock.

“Oh, shit. He’s the one paying for all these? I thought everyone chipped in at the end or something-” The blonde laughed with a soft lilt.

“He does a lot for his boys, believe it or not. And he certainly wouldn’t make a lady pay for her own drinks in his presence, no matter he much he loves to act as if you’re the bane of his entire being.” Listening to Chrissy’s words, your eyes had somehow found themselves settled on the boy’s side profile, taking note of the way his lips curled up at the corners as he grinned at the Hellfire club. When you looked back at Chrissy, the girl was smiling at you, her cheeks rosy and bunched up.

Looking down at the glasses on the counter to try and distract yourself from the previous conversation, you picked up a few before realizing you weren’t going to be able to hold two of them, Chrissy thankfully catching onto this realization.

“Go and take a seat, I’ll bring the other two over.” You nodded, silently thanking the girl as you accepted her help without another thought.

Making your way back over to the booth, you slid down onto your seat, handing a glass to Kace and sliding one over to Jeff as he nodded at you gratefully. Chrissy placed two glasses on the table which were immediately scooped up by Dustin and Mike, the boys instantly downing half of their drinks in a split few seconds.

After being back at the table for only at least 10 minutes, Chrissy’s words were still lingering at the very front of your mind as you stared across at Eddie, a ring-clad finger pointing at the curly-haired freshman as he lectured him on a “stupid, bullshit, nonsensical” suggestion he had made, the freshman arguing back with the same amount of ferocity. Trying not the dwell on staring at the side of the metalhead’s face for too long, you sipped on your glass of coke as you stared out the diner window, the sky very noticeably dark as it neared 7 pm. You looked down, and your straw was marked black, your lipstick clearly being the culprit. Christ, sitting in silence was really fucking boring.

You sat wondering how much longer you’d have to sit in silence putting up with the shouting-fest happening around you, the boys “debating” (arguing) on whether they should write Lucas’ character out of next week’s upcoming campaign, or if they should just leave his absence unexplained, not mentioning it in the story. Truly riveting entertainment, you thought.

As if you had manifested it or all of your praying to a higher power throughout the day had finally come to fruition, the boys soon decided to call it a day, Eddie declaring that it was for the best before someone got murdered. The sudden cold October breeze nipped at your exposed skin as you stood by the door to the diner, waiting for Kace to finish a conversation with Gareth as you lit yourself a cigarette.

Apparently, sunny October weather isn’t to be trusted. The fact that you had, for once, decided to leave the house in thin clothing, one of your favorite long, black, witch-esque dresses without a jacket, was now a decision that had come back to bite you in the ass. Standing outside in the diner’s parking lot freezing your ass off whilst waiting for Kace to drive you home wasn’t really how you saw your evening going.

Trying to occupy your mind with something other than the way the cold air slivered along every inch of your body, you turned your head to look through the diner’s window, watching Chrissy clean tables, her blonde bangs framing her face perfectly as her head dipped to lean down. Too busy focusing on what she was doing, you didn’t notice the sound of footsteps approaching you until the sound of a metal chain rattling alerted you. Taking a drag of your cigarette, you slowly turned your head as you pried your eyes away from the blonde waitress, the smoke you exhaled through your nostrils immediately dispersing in the wind.

“Jesus, Kace, finally. I was wondering how long it was gonna ta-” You turn, and lock eyes with Eddie Munson, who was just standing less than a meter in front of you. What the fuck, man.

“Need something, Munson? Or you just gonna stand there and look pretty?” You take a deep drag of your cigarette as the brunette let out a low chuckle, tucking his hands into the back pockets of his jeans, and his eyes flicking around the area in an attempt to avoid prolonged eye contact with you.

“I’m s’posed to be giving Gareth the Great a ride home but he’s busy talking to your friend over there.” Giving yourself a boost by standing on your tippy-toes, you peeped over the boy’s shoulder, and sure enough, Kace is leaned against the side of Eddie’s van talking to the much-shorter male in the plaid jacket, the two of them happily chatting along about something you couldn’t hear from such a distance.

Pursing your lips together, you flick the ash off the end of your cigarette. Finally making actual eye contact with you, the most intentional it had been the entire day, Eddie asks, “May I?” You’re confused for a moment before he brings a hand up to point at the cigarette slotted between your two fingers. You take a couple of beats to contemplate.

...

For the sake of simplicity.

“Sure, whatever,” you respond, holding the cigarette up to allow the metalhead to pinch it from your grasp. He does so, and brings it up to his face, inspecting the black lipstick painted around the filter end of the white stick. With his head dipped to observe the marks, his eyes look up at you through thick lashes, seemingly analyzing your face before bringing the stick up to his lips, inhaling deeply, holding it for a long few seconds before exhaling through his nose, a gesture you thought was his way of mocking you.

Now without the distraction of the cigarette between your lips, you quickly resumed your shivering, the cold once against starting its assault on you as the summer-friendly dress you were wearing neglected to do you any favors as you stood out in the mid-October Hawkins weather. Eddie snorted as he noticed your shivering.

“Cold out, isn’t it? Careful, love, you’ll scare someone off with all that teeth-chattering. Or maybe it’ll just be the way you dress, who knows.” You grimaced at his snide remark, looking at him with a face of pure disgust.

“Don’t call me that.” Eyebrows perked up in a condescending manner, Eddie took a step closer to you, letting the cigarette sit between his index and middle fingers as he crossed his arms, the leather of his jacket audibly rubbing together.

“What, you got a preference or something? Didn’t get any complaints earlier when I called you doll. Is that it, maybe?” his head dipped to hang just next to yours, his cheek just a few small inches away from your own, “is that what really does it for you?” The snarl as he spoke those last few words was laced with mockery, and you snatched the cigarette from his grasp while he was so close, taking a drag from it.

“Fuck off, Munson,” you exhaled a cloud of smoke in the boy’s cocky face, causing him to step back slightly, “you walked away before I could smack you ‘round the head for that one. It wasn’t really a fair fight by my standards.” Overhearing the conversation between Gareth and Kace soon coming to an end, Eddie turned his nose up at you, looking over his shoulder momentarily at the two boys.

“It’s never a fair fight with me, angel.” You scoff, trying to mask the way the new nickname made your skin crawl. Or maybe it was the gust of chilled wind that danced over your exposed limbs. It was something, that’s all you knew.

Turning your head to avoid the much-taller male’s gaze, you take a small drag of the nearly burnt-out cigarette, but as you did, you felt the boy standing in front of you shove something into your arms.

“Hold this,” he ordered, the stubby cigarette falling out of your grasp at the impact and dropping to the ground below. As you looked down, the sight of patches sewn onto denim was an immediate indication as to what you were holding. You squint your eyes in confusion, looking back up to see Eddie peeling his dull leather jacket from his torso, switching it out for the vest you had in your arms.

“It’s cold. Be grateful that I’ve gone the extra mile to lend you my beloved jacket instead of the vest. Denim’s not really your style, is it, doll?” Not knowing how to respond in a situation you never thought you’d find yourself in, your eyes scan every little detail of the metalhead’s face, trying to find some sort of ulterior motive hidden in the fine lines.

“Hey, Ed! We going or what?” The sound of Gareth’s voice shouting over to your direction from the distance interrupted your train of thought, and Eddie turned around to give the boy a thumbs up before turning back to face you, a simple nod being the last bit of “reasoning” you got from him as he spun on his heel, jogging over to the van. The two boys exchanged a few words before climbing into the vehicle and driving out of the parking lot in a matter of a single minute.

Before you could process or notice anything at all, Kace was standing at your side with his arms crossed, staring at the van as it drove out of the parking lot.

“Gareth’s cool,” you finally say, Kace angling his head to look down at you. He nodded, and you felt his eyes burning into the bulky jacket you held in your arms.

“Should I ask?” he questioned as you rolled your eyes, beginning your walk over to his Chevrolet Camaro on the other side of the parking lot, the slender boy following right behind you.

“Munson being a condescending prick as usual. It’s not even that cold.” You attempted to stifle a shiver as the breeze got one last attack in, Kace laughing as he opened the passenger door for you, allowing you to climb in before making his way around to the driver’s side of the navy blue vehicle.

As Kace got the car started up and began driving out of the parking lot, a thought finally hit you.

“Hey, why couldn’t you give me a ride to the diner earlier? If I’d known you drove today, I would’ve been able to get there at the same time as you rather than being later than literally everyone else.” Turning the car stereo on, lowering the volume majorly as The Cure began blasting through the speakers, Kace shrugged, glancing over at you in the corner of his vision.

“Dunno. Felt like being a dick.” He quietly snorted to himself as you rolled your eyes.

“I hate you.” The boy lifted his right hand over to you, lazily tousling it in your hairsprayed mane as you flicked the appendage away.

“My heart is yours too, love.” The affectionate response made your cheeks ball up as a smile spread across your lips.

Apart from the few moments where you managed to include yourself in off-topic conversations, the entire day had been long, boring, and most definitely awkward, but finally getting some quality best-friend-time in with just Kace settled the unease that had been festering in your chest all day since the moment you arrived at the diner. With your forehead dropping to rest against the car window, you idly tightened your hold around the leather item of clothing resting in your lap, pulling it against your chest as your fingers fiddled with the icy, metal zipper.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x fem!reader #stranger things #st4 #goth!reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female character #eddie brain rot #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fanfic

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skylarmoon71 · 10 months

Text

Harrison Wells (Flash) - Oneshot

Harry has always been a bit of a distant person. Even though Team Flash was his family, there were still parts of his life that he kept from all of you. In a way you understood that. What happened with Jesse was an eye opener. You understood why he was always protective and guarded.

That was years ago.

Despite the progress made, you still felt like he was keeping something. It started a couple weeks ago after his trip back to earth 2. He returned much like he always did. Telling stories of Jesse and her team of heroes. Then of the new inventions he supervised when he had the time. He’d have his little arguments with Cisco and bicker about tech. But then on certain days, he wouldn't show up to the lab. He’d come back agitated and anxious.

Tonight was the night. You were going to get the bottom of it.

You’d snuck off to one of the empty rooms and decided to stake out Harry. Everyone pretty much left, and you knew if he saw you hanging around he would make some excuse as to why he wanted to be alone.

It was already after nine. Peeking your head out, you ventured towards his quarters.

“Don’t be suspicious, don’t be suspicious.”

You smiled at the thought, and when you broke the corner, you noticed his door was ajar. Tilting your head, you moved closer. The soft groans from the other side confused you.

“Harry? Are you okay?”

You pushed the door open, and you were stunned at the scene of a shirtless Harry. His hands were braced on the desk, and he was sweating. His glasses were gone and he appeared to sniff the air, turning around so quickly you were surprised he didn’t get whiplash.

“(Y/N)..”

Was it just you or did he growl?

“You have to leave.” His voice was strained and he looked angry. Now you are very concerned. You stepped inside, closing the door as you glared.

“I’m not leaving here until you tell me what’s going on. Start talking.” Your voice was firm.

You felt a bit proud for standing your ground. At least you would have been. You blink, and it all seems unreal. Harry is by your side in a matter of seconds. Before you even have a chance to voice your surprise, your hands are slammed to the door. They are pinned.

“H-Harry!”

You aren’t sure what to do, because he’s strong. Unnaturally strong. He releases another growl and you swallow. You push your hips to try and get free of him, but nothing is working. His hips move forward, and now you’re completely bound. You whimper, more so when his tongue darts out and he licks your neck. The next thing you feel is his teeth piercing your skin and you cry out. Blood drips from the fangs that have penetrated you, and Harry guzzles the liquid. He gulps twice, and when he finally pulls back, you slide down the door, hand moving to your neck in shock.

His eyes are dark. You can hardly see his irises. When they do become visible, you can see the hungry expression of his gaze change to confusion, then guilt and worry. He staggers back.

“(Y/N)...”

There’s fear in his tone, and you frown. What he expects is for you to run off in terror. What he gets is a completely different reaction.

“SIT DOWN AND TELL ME WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY BIT ME!! YOU BETTER HOPE IT DOESN’T LEAVE A MARK!!”

Harry winces.

Maybe he would have preferred you running off in fear.

~~~

“You were bitten by a vampire bat and you didn’t think to tell us?!”

Harry frowns, watching the piece of gauze taped to your neck.

“I had it under control. I was reckless on my last mission. I wasn’t the only one infected. I’ve managed to cure all the other explorers, but it seems my illness progressed further than I realized. It’s taken me longer to produce the antidote for my mutation. “

“Of course it is!! Damn it my neck hurts!!”

Harry’s head lowers.

“I’m..sorry. I really am. I thought that I had it controlled. The injections work for a few weeks but they are only temporary. That’s why I’ve been keeping a distance during three week intervals. “

His crestfallen expression makes you feel guilty. This isn’t really his fault. It’s obvious that when it happened he tried to heal everyone first. That’s just the kind of person he is. He’d put himself in harm’s way for others.

You sigh.

“It’s fine. I’m sorry for yelling. I was just so mad. This whole time I’ve been so worried. It’s aggravating that after all this time you still don’t trust us. If you have a problem you can lean on us. We’re your family Harry.”

He knows that, of course he does. It’s just second nature for him to retreat and solve the problem on his own. Some habits were hard to break.

“I’m going to come clean. I’ll tell Ramon and the others everything in the morning.”

You smile.

“Thank you.”

Now that you’ve settled that situation, you need to get back to the task at hand. It’s not just your imagination, his face looks a bit pale.

“Harry.”

He knows that tone.

“I’m fine. I just got careless. I miscalculated the dosage. I was trying to make more of the temporary sedative.” Your eyes shift to the table. There’s a few liquids and a mixer.

“You were working on it, that’s why you were down here?”

He nods, and you can see the small droplets of sweat gathering on his forehead. His chest is still exposed.

“I’m missing an ingredient and I..I don’t think I’m strong enough to get it.” He admits.

“Does my blood help?”

His fists tightened in his lap and you can see the way he turns his head. It looks like he’s taking a deep breath, when he exhales, it’s shaky.

“Don’t..say that to me.”

This is a serious situation. It’s not like you have a lot of options. He’s hurting, possibly dying and without this ingredient who knows what will happen.

“Tell me how I can help you. I’m not going to sit here and watch you in pain. So either you tell me or I’ll take matters into my own hands.” You place your hand on the bandage and he rushes over. You jolt when he grabs your hands from your sitting position. You’ve noticed that this has come with its own little kicks. Because he’s faster and stronger than before.

“Okay..okay.” He sounds breathless, and he guides you back to the couch. You both take a seat, and you wait expectantly. His cheeks are flushed.

“My..my urges are stronger. Contrary to popular belief I don’t need all of your blood. I don’t even need a quarter of it. Half a glass is enough to stop the thirst for months. I’ve been running the numbers. I wanted to be safe in the event that I did lose control.”

That does sound like him.

“If it’s not fatal then it’s fine. I’ll just give you some blood and when you’re up to full strength you can make the antidote. Easy as pie.”

He shakes his head.

“Not easy as pie. Haven’t you noticed that I already took some of your blood. I should have been satiated already.”

He’s right.

“Then why didn’t it work?”

He looks a bit unsure of the right words to use.

“Because…it’s physical as much as it is chemical. The last time it got this bad I had a blood bag. But I needed another outlet otherwise it wouldn’t work.”

You’re lost.

“Then just spit it out, what do I have to do?”

He swallows.

“I need you to help me..” He pauses.

“Release.”

Your brows knit.

“Release. Release what?”

His eyes move to you, and somehow you can read the answer to that question.

Your cheeks burn.

“O-Oh!”

That’s what he meant.

His head lowers in embarrassment.

“I understand that this is asking a lot. It’s why I’ve been trying to solve this alone. You have no idea how humiliating this is.” He runs his hands through his hair.

You get it. Harry is a naturally proud person. But this was next level. Of course he would run into a hole.

“So the last time, did you get yourself off?”

His head lifts and he looks at you shocked.

“I-Is that really the question you’re asking right now!”

You can’t help it, you’re curious. You reach for the bandage, and he’s about to protest, but the second it’s off, it’s like he’s lost all will to complain. He leans back against the couch, and you can’t help but appreciate how breathtaking he looks. Exposed and vulnerable. This is a man who always has it together. The sight before you is probably never going to occur again in this life.

It would be a lie to say you aren’t a bit excited. It’s a bit of a secret, but you do have feelings for this man. Despite his standoffish attitude, he’s a good person. Even when he tries to hide it.

“Tell me how to help.” It’s a whisper, and Harry bites down on his lip. He’s too weak to fight you any longer. Both verbally and physically.

“Climb on top of me.”

The statement brings a new kind of excitement. You nod, moving over to straddle his hips. His breathing is still a bit staggered as he drinks in the sight of you. You lower your hips, looking down at him.

“Is this okay?”

He nods.

“It’s perfect.” His hands move to your hips as he leans forward, and you squeak when you feel something hard poking you between your thighs. Harry lets out a hiss, hands moving up your back. You nearly lose yourself when his lips move to your neck, inhaling deeply.

“Can I take off your shirt?”

He asks softly against your ear. You agree with a huff, and his hands slide along the edge, pulling it slowly over your head. It drops at the side, and he pulls back to admire. You feel a bit self conscious under his gaze. You refuse to look directly at him. But he guides your gaze and when those eyes meet your own, any insecurity jumps right out the window.

“I need.to drink..”

You almost forgot the whole point of this.

“Y-Yes of course.”

You try to remain completely still when his thumb brushes the bruise he’d left behind. There’s clearly hesitance. You can feel it in his touch, see it in his eyes.

“Nothing is going to happen to me.” You reassure him. Harry would forever be stubborn. You smile, running your hand down his neck when he finally leans in. His tongue touches your skin, and when those fangs meet, this time you’re prepared. A little sound still leaves your lips. You can hear him drinking, and it’s strangely arousing. Your legs are shaking and he pulls away after a few seconds, licking the excess blood both along your skin and on his lips. His eyes hold what you can describe as raw desire. You can still feel him between your legs. Harry grips your thighs, and you moan when he pulls you closer. The friction is too good.

“Grind on me.”

It sounds like an order.

One you’re happy to oblige to. You hold unto him, and your bare chest touching is better than any fantasy you could have conjured. You press your hips down, rocking to a steady rhythm. Every time his member touches your core, you think you’ll explode right there. Harry is barely keeping it together himself. He holds you to him, determined to reach the release you’re both craving. His deep moans are ringing in your ear, and you can’t seem to stop your own. You want to be free of your clothes. You want to feel more. When he sees you reaching for the button of your pants, he grabs your hand.

“I-I can’t..”

He sounds like he’s holding himself back. You manage a desperate sob. You need more. You’re so close.

He reaches for you, pulling you in for a kiss, and that seems to be the weight that breaks the dam. Your tongues are colliding desperately, and he’s still thrusting against you even after you’ve reached your limit. His own follows, and he pulls back with a groan. You’re both panting, struggling to catch your breath. You’re still gathering yourself, but you can see the color begin to return to his face. He’s beginning to look like himself and you laugh, slumping against his body.

“Vampires rule.” You mutter.

Harry lets out a soft laugh of his own.

#harrisonwells #care #friends #vampires #mature #fluff #change #powers #harrisonxreader #speed #strength #cute #love #feelings #secrets #trust

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