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mattsdae · 8 months

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help wanted part 4

read part 1, part 2, and part 3

tags: joe young x masc reader , leather/latex , frotting , making out , nipple play (?) , reader likes joe’s tits but can we really blame him , gambling ig , honestly not a lot happens , mostly fluff and plot shit

synopsis: joe looks good in his new costume, but reader feels like he’s being… watched.

word count: ~5.4k

a/n: sorry for the long wait! hopefully this is at least a little worth the 3 weeks with zero updates lol also i’m using readers forgetfulness to my advantage cuz idk any of the side characters names so i just wrote that reader doesn’t know anyones names.

joe was asleep by the time the lion king ended. turns out, crying your eyes out for the entire morning was tiring, so he took a little nap. the only issue was that he fell asleep on your shoulder. he was worried about you, so he got nice and close, cuddling up and falling asleep.

you had to sit through his nap, which sucked since the remote was out of reach and you couldn’t put another movie on. you sat still, listening to his little snores as he clung onto your arm. you let boredom (and comfort) take over, falling asleep with him on the couch.

you woke up a few hours later, curled up with a blanket over you. at first, you didn’t question it, rolling over and pulling the sheet up to your chin. it took a second, but you suddenly remembered joe. you popped up, looking over the living and dining room. you looked at the coffee table, finding a handwritten note.

Y/N,

you fell asleep, so i decided to go. i rewinded the tape for you! i had a lot of fun. we should do this more often!

joseph young

you didn’t realize, but you smiled as you read the note. he had nice handwriting, simple but neat cursive that was still easily legible. he put a proper signature at the bottom as if it were a legal document, which only made you smile more. it was endearing to say the least. you kept the note, putting it in your bedside table drawer.

as you tidied up the tapes, you started to make up excuses in your head for what happened. it wasn’t like it was a date or anything. all you did was watch movies, it wasn’t a big deal. even though it ended with his head on your shoulder, so what? you could excuse all of it. you decided to ignore the dry humping and the fact that you came to the thought of loving him.

later that day, you got a call from dave talking about another orgazmo film you were going to do lighting for. you agreed a little too quick before catching the date and time. now, it was that date and time. you were talking to one of the prop designers, leaned up against the wall outside as you smoked a cigarette.

“honestly, i don’t get it, but maxxx asked for it so here i am.” he took a drag from his own cigarette. like most people on set, you didn’t know his name. people come and go pretty often, so you learned to tune out any names. it’s gotten to the point now that you can’t remember who anyone is, even if they’ve stayed around for months. usually, it gets to the point where it’s too awkward to ask.

“so is it supposed to be sexy? the whole orgasm-inator thing or whatever it’s called?” he shrugged with a smile.

“maxxx is into some weird shit, dude. i wouldn’t put it past him.” you nodded, smiling as you remembered multiple examples of his weird fetishes.

“y/n! need you in here!” dave called out. you answered before putting your cigarette out and going inside.

“what do you need-“

you cut yourself off, staring at joe as he spoke to the costume designer. he was wearing a new outfit, one made of latex or possibly leather. either way, it was tight fitting and shiny, hugging every inch of him perfectly. his shoulders and arms were exposed, which weirdly turned you on more than anything. you’d seen his dick, yeah, but never his bare arms.

he was muscular, much stronger than his loose button ups and long sleeves showed. his chest hair poked over the material, bringing attention to his expose collarbones. you felt insane, getting worked up over something like arms and collarbones. like an early englishman calling women harlot’s for exposing their ankle.

“you good?” you blinked, brought back to reality as dave snapped his fingers in front of you. your face heated, quickly adjusting yourself for no particular reason. “i just need you to set another umbrella by the couch.”

you nod, quickly getting to work to avoid any more suspicious. just as you tightened the knob, locking the angle in place, joe walked up.

“hey!” he grinned. you smile subconsciously.

“hey..” you hummed. you blushed, realizing you deepened your voice like a middle schooler trying to impress his crush. he giggled.

“why does your voice sound like that?” his eyes twinkled, a large grin on his face as he asked. you almost smiled just looking at him, but you stopped yourself.

“uhh, i’m a little sick.” you committed, keeping your voice weirdly raspy and deep. you felt your face warm up as you heard someone nearby huff out a small laugh.

“oh, really? are you okay?” his eyes widened, concerned. you shook your head, turning away to mess with the already set up light.

“yeah, i’m fine.” you turned away, squatting down in attempt to end the conversation. he put his hand on your shoulder.

“are you sure? you need to get some rest if you don’t feel well.” you shook your head, avoiding looking at him in case you spaced out again.

“i’m fine, joe. i promise.” your voice faultered. finally, you looked up at him. he always had a pout, a small downturn of his lips that only got more exaggerated with strong emotions like worry. you kept eye contact, refusing to look anywhere else.

“okay..” he leaned back. you went back to your job of acting busy, only for him to stay put. “did you see my new costume? it’s a little weird, right?”

“yeah, i saw it.” of coarse you saw it, it was the first thing you witnessed when you opened the door and yeah, it was weird. that’s why you were so freaked out about being turned on by it. “it looks good.”

“really? it’s a little.. tight.” you didn’t look, but you heard his hand run over the costume, likely trying to point out where it was tight. you refused to look, knowing what would happen if you did.

“i think it looks fine, man.” you keep your gaze away. he says a small hmph before walking away. you kept doing your work, finishing whatever dave asked you to do. eventually, you had a break and went outside for another smoke.

you heard the backdoor open slowly and shut just the same. you knew who it was, you didn’t even have to look. you felt joe walk closer, stopping a few feet away. you glance, catching a look at his costume in broad daylight. it looked just as hot as it did inside.

“are you okay?” joe asked. you nod.

“yeah. why?”

“you just.. you’re acting weird. ever since we kissed, you’ve been avoiding me and you didn’t even look at me when i was talking to you earlier..” you kept your head down, unable to say what was so clearly on your mind. “are you mad at me?”

“no! of coarse not! i just.. i dunno. i’m just not my normal self right now, you know?” he nods. he crossed his arms, subconsciously covering himself. “i think the costume looks great. sorry for not saying it earlier.”

“you think so?” he lit up, now smiling.

“yeah. you look really nice. can i say something? and promise you won’t laugh.” he agreed. “i wasn’t looking at you ‘cause i was worried i’d get hard.” you heard shuffling above you, but you decided to ignore it.

“really?” he beamed, clearly excited by the fact that you found him sexy. you nod. “i didn’t know people were into this stuff.. so you like this?”

the truth was, it wasn’t the outfit that turned you on; it was his body. the way it hugged every little curve perfectly and showed off parts of his body you never thought to notice. it showed how strong and sturdy his body is, contrasting his sweet gaze. it was whiplash, switching between eye contact to checking his body, going from an innocent little mormon boy to a strong man.

“yeah, i guess i do.” that was an easier answer. he nods, looking away. you flick your cigarette, glancing over his body again. “can i touch you?”

“hm?” you didn’t even mean for the question to come out, but with it now floating in the air, you committed.

“can i touch you? i think you look really nice and i.. i want to feel it.” you chewed on your lip as you waited for an answer. you glanced up above you, noticing the suspicious open window directly above the two of you. he looked around before taking your hand and leading you inside. as you two walked through the door, everyone looked before quickly averting their gaze. you blushed, narrowing your eyes as the entire crew acted busy while joe dragged you up the stairs and into a makeshift dressing room, which was just a bedroom with only a futon and different clothes hung up.

“where do you want to touch?” he asked, shutting the door behind you and locking. you glanced down his body, struggling to choose. deciding against answering, you instead responded by kissing him, pulling him close by the back of his neck and leading him to the futon.

as joe sat, you straddled him, legs planting on either side and holding him still. his hands moved to your waist, holding you as well. while his thumb rubbed circles onto your hip, you explored. your palms, sweaty from anxiety, squeaked over the material. he hummed.

“you look so good, baby..” he huffed as you felt over his chest, brushing over his nipples. “just can’t get enough of you, can i?”

he nods in agreement, unaware of the subtext. a subtle confession. you circle your hips, slowly grinding against him as he did before. he whined, fingers digging into your sides. you pull back from the kiss, glancing over him. his face was pink, rosy cheeks matching his flushed chest. his forearms tensed as he moved your hips himself, frustrated by your recess.

“you’re just too much.” another quick confession that could be covered up. you tried to stay professional, avoiding any hint of your true feelings, but you weren’t sure joe would notice if you were being obvious.

one of your hands wandered to his face, holding his jaw and cheek before returning to the kiss. it felt just as intimate and experimental as the first time. joe gripped your hips, still pushing and pulling. your brushed his nipple again, making him whimper. you pull away, looking at him.

“can i touch you here? is it okay?” you gave a little pinch to make the message a little clearer. he whines, nodding. you closed the gap, hand moving away from his jaw and to the straps of his costume. you slowly undressed him, studying how every touch felt. his arm lifted, letting you take it off. his skin was smooth, gentle and soft in contrast with the muscles underneath.

you removed the other strap, moving it low enough to expose his chest. you nearly drooled at the sight. the shock made you realize how little you’ve seen of him. even though you’ve seen his most private area, you still didn’t get the privilege to see the rest of him. his shoulders tensed, shy under your gaze.

“you look so pretty,” you hum. he nods, reassured. considering you were ‘straight’ only a month ago, you were shocked by how infatuated you were. his chest flushed, rising and falling slowly as he looked over you at the same time. his hands moved under your shirt, exploring your skin. you buried your face in his neck, moaning into his flesh as he massaged. you kissed, licking over the muscle and causing him to squirm.

“off..” he mumbled, pulling at your shirt. you pull back and he lets go of the material. you chuckle, leading his hands back to the hem.

“if you want it off, you gotta take it off.” he makes eye contact, expression nervous and seeking approval. you nod. he lifts the shirt over your head and looks at your abdomen. he stares.

“you’re skinny.” you start to laugh, which makes him shy. “no, i didn’t- you’re shirt..”

“it’s fine, baby.” he’d never seen you with a shirt or pants that actually fit, usually 2 or 3 sizes too big. he was confused by it, you could tell by the fact that he offered to give you extra shirts he had that would fit better when you first met him. his hands found their way to your waist. he squeezed, making you squirm and giggle.

“you’re ticklish?” he grinned. you shook your head, straightening your expression and pushing his hands off.

“nah, man. i’m not-“ he grabbed at your sides again. you whined, trying to wiggle away as one of his arms wrapped around your hip and held you still. you pushed against his chest as he smiled up at you. he let go after a few seconds.

“you’re such a liar!” he giggled as you complained. you felt a twinge in your chest, guilt burning for just a moment before he kissed you again, cutting off your rambling. a small smile formed, melting into his touch as he started to unbutton your jeans. your hands hovered over his, waiting for him to go for your sides again, but he was far too focused on what was in your pants.

you reached for his chest again, making him whine as he touched your cock over your boxers. he was gentle, almost scared to hurt you or make you uncomfortable. you grind into his hand with a moan, confirmation to keep going. you stayed attached to his chest, circling his areola. he shivered, bringing a smile to your face.

“you sensitive there?” you teased. he nodded, head kept low as he moaned. he touched you the same way you did him, trying to mimick each move in the same order. his thumb rubbed just under the tip, you moaning in response. “come on, baby. touch me. please?”

he obeys, sliding your boxers low enough to expose you to him. he stared for a few seconds, watching as you twitched in his palm. you whined, pinching his nipple to make him move. he moaned, his cock now twitching from within his suit.

“why don’t you touch yourself, too?” you suggested. he glanced up as you took a hold of his hand, tracing over each indent on his palm. “you got big hands, i’m sure you can hold both at the same time.”

he nods, also pulling his pants just low enough to expose himself. you bit your lip at the sight, watching him pull your hips closer. he hooked his thumb onto his cock before taking a hold of yours, pressing them together. you moan as he moves his hand slowly. he nodded, taking your moan as verbal encouragement and quickly jerking both of you off.

your hips bucked, thrusting into his fist every so often as you fondled his chest. you buried your face in his neck, licking the skin before attaching your lips. he moaned, his free hand grabbing onto your bicep. you pinched again.

“there.. just like that.” you moan into his mouth, mumbling praises as he sped up, desperation taking over sensuality. you whined as he moved away from your lips, pressing his face into your shoulder. he moaned rythmically, just as you did. you lifted his chin, pushing his head back before dipping down.

he gasped when you licked over his nipple, teeth grazing over it as he grabbed onto your hair. he twitched, the jump made evident by your touching cocks. you moaned as well, the brief friction taking you by suprise. you suckled on his breast, just like you did to girls. he whined as you did so, unable to decide between watching and throwing his head back in pleasure.

“i’m.. i think i’m close-“ joe whined, gripping harder as he did the same to your cocks, desperately moving up and down. you moan at the admission.

“you think you can wait for me?” he nearly wailed, making you smile against his chest.

“pleaseee..”

“kiss me. i’ll cum faster if you kiss me.” he quickly grabbed onto your hair, pulling you up and pressing his lips to yours. you melted, openly moaning into his mouth as you throbbed within his grip. he kept pulling, remembering how much you loved it before. he took advantage of it, yanking at your locks passionately.

before you knew it, you were cumming all over your own bare chest and his latex costume. he moaned as you did, rushing to catch up and cum at the same time. he succeeded, pulling your hair one last time as his hips stuttered against his own fist. it was overwhelming. his hand in your hair, fist squeezing your cocks together as it moved, his lips against yours. it was all too much.

you whined, softening in his grip as he slowly lets go. he whimpered, too. your cocks lazily pressed together, just barely overstimulating both of you. you finally pull away, ending the kiss. he looked up at you, pupils blown and eyes wide.

“what?” you ask, wondering why he looked at you that way. his expression didn’t change as his eyes flicked between each of your features.

“i know you’re a boy but..” he trails off. his hand reached up to your face, his thumb running over each of his favorite features. he parted your lips, noting their reddish hue after kissing, before caressing your cheeks while looking into your eyes. it was intimate, letting someone caress your face while pointing out their favorite features with each touch. you flushed under his gaze. “you’re pretty.”

“you think so?” you didn’t mean to ask the question, it slipping out before you could catch it. you voice was soft, barely above a whisper. he nods. you felt hot, heat suddenly overwhelming you as he looked away from your eyes and studied your features ahain. there’s a moment where both of you watch eachother, you being too scared to even think about what he meant. eventually, you pulled apart and cleaned up.

filming felt awkward now. for some reason, it felt like everyone was watching you. filming ended and while joe usually left soon after wrapping, he stayed behind, waiting for you to leave. at first, you didn’t understand why he’d stay, but he quickly made it clear as he made conversation.

“i’m hungry. do you want to get something after you’re done? my treat!” he smiled at you. you agree absentmindedly. “can we get mcdonalds? i heard the big mac’s good!”

“you heard?” you chuckle as he confirms. “so you’ve never been to mcdonalds?”

“no. my mom always cooked for us ‘cause that’s what a woman is supposed to do.” you grimace.

“you know, women can do other things, right?”

“yeah, but that’s what my mom and dad always said.” you decide to leave it there, too tired to explain feminism to him. you were frustrated anyway, considering you were left alone to clean up all by yourself. you assumed most of the actors left, but the film crew should be helping disassemble everything. you knew the lazy assholes maxxx hired as help usually fucked off and waited for you to finish, but at least dave would help. even he was nowhere to be seen.

joe stayed behind as you did a final sweep to make sure everything was reset. you found one of the doors shut and a distant rumble of voices behind it, a suspicious sight considering you assumed everyone was gone. you opened, slowly poking your head in and finding the entire crew, actors included, standing around yelling at eachother.

“no, dude! did you see the way they were looking at eachother? they’re totally fucking!” a voice called back, continuing a conversation you missed the first half of.

“man’s looks in love! they’re totally dating!” a girl spoke up.

“why not both? you’re acting like it’s one or the other!” you stepped in, shutting the door behind you as you entered.

“i swear! they were flirting outside and y/n was complimenting him!” you furrowed your brow, just barely recognizing your name in the sea of words.

“i just don’t see him as the type.. i mean he doesn’t even look gay. also, didn’t he fuck ava?”

“he probably likes both, dude. dave likes guys and girls, too.”

“he’ll fuck anything as long as it has a pulse. either way, joe’s the queer one of the two.” joe? why were they talking about him? you glared at the man who said it, who quickly realized you were listening in and stopped talking.

“what’s going on?” you asked slowly, watching as a few people held their hands behing their back. you stepped forward, looking at the producer, who turned with you to avoid showing his backside. “what are you holding?”

“uhhh…” you grabbed for his wrist, making a 100 dollar bill fall to the ground. you paused, staring at the cash as some people snuck out of the room. “why are you holding that?”

“y/n, it’s fine.” dave spoke up, directing your attention towards him. he was sat at a fold up table, a shoebox next to him along with a clipboard with multiple columns and rows. “it’s just a friendly little bet. gotta keep morale up, right?”

“what’s the bet?” at this point, the room was almost fully empty as everyone escaped. you and dave stared at eachother, him smiling innocently. he looked away for a second, fiddling with the corner of the paper.

“i just want to preface by saying, i didn’t tell anyone anything.” you furrowed your brow, only getting more confused. he slid over the clipboard. on the paper, you four columns, each labeled.

not gay | fucking | dating | both.

the worst part was, fucking was the most betted. you stared, mouth agape. “everyone saw you eyeing up joe the last couple of times you worked together, so when people started talking, i told them to put their money where their mouth is. most people thought you just had a fat crush on joe, but lily said she saw you guys flirting outside, which kinda skewed the vote.. everyone wanted to change their votes, but rules are rules. they know they can’t-“

“you’re fucking with me, right?” he paused before shaking his head. “how long has this been going on?!”

“yeah, well, people noticed how you changed your shirt in the middle of filming and how you stared at him. not to mention the fact that he’s waiting for you to finish putting everything away so you could go out. there’s actually a lot of proof. he keeps dragging you off into his dressing room, you spaced out when you first saw him in that costume..”

you stared in disbelief, unable to even find an excuse. everyone was watching. everyone knew you liked him and everyone assumed he liked you. you felt sick. the idea of the entire crew and a legion of pornstars betting on yours and joe’s queerness made you ill.

“obviously, i’m the bookie because it’d be cheating for me to vote since.. you know.” you cringed. “but it’s all for fun! i promise there isn’t any malicious intent.”

“you’re making a bet off of me and joe being gay, that sounds pretty malicious.” dave shrugged.

“it’s not out of ill-will. it’s just a fun bet-“

“about me and joe being gay?”

“yes!” you scoff, grabbing onto your hair and groaning.

“you have to call it off, dude. if joe finds out-“

“he’s not gonna find out-“

“if joe finds out,” you emphasize. “he’s gonna freak out.”

“how do you know? he seems pretty into you. he probably thinks you guys are already dating.” you rolled your eyes at the assumption.

“joe just got ex-communicated. if he finds out that what we’re doing is gay..” dave laughed, a large grin spreading as he held onto his chest.

“what? he really believes that bullshit you spew about just being friends?!” you glared, ready to argue back before he interrupted. “i know you think you know joe well, but be honest with yourself. you barely know the dude outside of sex, how would you know how he feels about being gay. did he ever mention the idea of being gay as a bad thing?”

you stayed quiet, realizing that no, he hadn’t said being gay is a bad thing. even when he questioned it, he never said it was wrong. he called it a sin once, but he easily could have meant masturbation. you looked away.

“maybe try talking to him. you know, not about how hot he looks in latex.” you flushed. “ava said you two were gonna go out to get something to eat, so you got the perfect opportunity. bring him to mcdonalds, get him some shitty nuggets and a big mac, large fry too, and ask him about himself. spend some time together. actually do something that doesn’t involve sex.”

you glared, genuinely angry at dave for assuming what you knew about joe. you hands trembled a bit before you huffed and walked off. you stormed down the stairs and found joe, sat cross-legged on the ground, poking around at some of the cameras. he jumped back when he saw you, quickly putting it back into place.

“oh, hey! did you see everyone? i thought they all left and they came down the steps, but they were acting all weird. did you talk to th-“

“let’s go.” you grabbed his hand, practically dragging him towards your car. “what do you want from mcdonalds? you said a big mac, right?”

“oh, uhhh.. i heard the nuggets are good-“

“whatever you want. you can get nuggets, a burger, a fuckin’ mcrib, i don’t care. it’s on me.” joe nods, following quickly as you opened the car door for him. he thanks you and you quickly get in on the other side, rushing to the nearest mcdonalds.

there was a few minutes of silence, you too angry to start speaking and him feeling the rage radiating off of you. you tried to think of an ice breaker. it was awkward, realizing that dave was right. you didn’t know anything about joe. you knew what he looked like and where he liked to be touched, but nothing personal. you cleared your throat.

“so.. tell me about yourself.”

he did. he talked about his childhood, being a middle child with 5 siblings. he talked about his mom, how she loved cooking and he always wanted to help, but she’d shoo him off and say it was a womans job. he talked about being mormon, what growing up was like within the mormon faith, he even mentioned a girl he was supposed to marry before they broke up. he also talked about what he liked and what he wanted to do. turns out, he always thought video games were cool, which started a conversation about your playstation and the games you had.

you got several things from mcdonalds, creating a buffet for the two of you when you got back to your place. you showed him the games you talked about and taught him how to play tony hawk’s pro skater 2. he loved it and you did too. both of you fell asleep on the couch, him laying on your chest while you played, mumbling to him about techniques, even though he was clearly unconscious. the next day, you hung out some more. you made breakfast together, went out to the mall together, got lunch together. it was amazing and by the end of the day, joe stood awkwardly outside your car door, fingers twiddling.

“so.. i’ll see you again, right?” you nod. he looks down. you took what dave said to heart, refusing to have sex with him during your time spent. you were sure that’s what he was thinking about. he had fun, but the one thing you two were comfortable doing was excluded.

“if you want to come by, just let me know. i had fun.” joe nods. there’s a moment of silence, only the crickets chirping making noise. he circles your car, going to the driver side. you roll down the window. “what are you-“

he kissed you. a quick peck like a couple would do before parting. he pulled away, taking in your features for a split second before rushing to his car and leaving. you flushed. maybe he did like you.

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glitxhwayventeen · 3 months

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The Smart One: Part Three

Yeonjun

Characters: Yeonjun x female reader

Warnings: mentions of- a fight scene, death, drinking, smoking, partying, sleeping around (but it’s all consensual so i don’t see a problem with it. But i know some people do so TW ig), name calling (but they don’t actually mean it and none of them think they do, they’re loving nicknames), crying, pining/angsty love, blood, another pack’s fight, Yeonjun being dumb basically poor baby

Author’s Note: Home sick with Covid so I figured I’d put out another chapter! Hope it does totally suck :/ it was a bit rushed on my part so I’ll end up going back and editing some things later I’m sure. I know it’s a bit slow but it’s leading up to the next chapter i swear. Let me know what you think!

Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! They’re just for fun/entertainment!

There Will Be Blood Masterlist

The Smart One: Part 1, Part 2, Part 4

🥀

Bold- Dialogue Italics- Thoughts

Tag list- @hihello-pinky

It took Yeonjun a while to stop sobbing mindlessly so he could explain himself and apologize to the pack. And at first, the pup of the pack was really mad at him for refusing to interact with you. Though after he began tending to his wounds, Huening Kai started to think about just how bad the fight they had could’ve ended.

So he, in a way at least, understood that his brother was just trying to protect you. Which the younger boy appreciated, he cared for your safety as his friend too.

Though as the day slowly faded into night, he kept thinking about the current predicament the oldest had to face. And the more he thought about it, the more unfair he found it all. In fact, he still thought the whole situation was bullshit.

He didn’t get the purpose in keeping you in the dark about everything. He didn’t see why you shouldn’t get to decide whether or not you wanted to be part of the family on your own. He didn’t understand why he and his brothers had to live their lives only half fulfilled when all the normal humans got to go on and live normal lives.

But mostly, he didn’t get why Yeonjun shouldn’t be able to have the love of his life by his side.

For as long as Kai had known him, the eldest wolf rarely cared for anything, or anyone, enough to fight for it as much as he had fought for you the last day alone. Truthfully, he hardly even seemed to care about what was going on with his own pack unless he absolutely had to. All he acted like he cared about was the party boy lifestyle he had relished in.

And oddly enough, before the day’s incident, Yeonjun hadn’t even ever fought with his brothers before. Sure he smacked them every now and then to make them come to their senses. Sure he raised his voice at them when he was angry with them.

But he never got to the point of physically attacking them. Other people yeah, he was known to start fights with people outside of their pack. Just never within the pack.

That’s how Kai knew just how badly the whole situation was affecting his hyung. When he threw knocked him to the ground, he could see panic race across his face. He could see the fear behind his crimson eyes. And he could feel the internal conflict he was going through with every punch thrown his way.

He wanted his brother to be happy. He wanted him to get to live the life everyone should have the choice in living. And he wanted you as a sister.

It wasn’t even because it would mean you’d be able to help him with school whenever he needed. Or that you’d feel the need to take care of him as the only mate in the pack.

The truth was, Hyuka was already sandwiched between two sisters in his real family. He loved having them around, even if it meant constantly fighting and bickering with them. So he knew he’d love having you, one of the few friends he had ever managed to make on his own that he never disagreed with, as a new addition to their pack.

And the pup just knew you’d have the best influence on Yeonjun. Where he was frantic and illogical, you were calm and rational. Where his brother was unpredictable and borderline dangerous at times, you were steady and always comforting. Where he was cold and charming, you were loving and awkward.

The two of you were like Fire and Water. Your personalities were so different it was almost comical. But Kai knew that fate wouldn’t have brought the two of you together as mates if it wasn’t exactly what you both needed. And it was cruel of outside forces to try and pull the two of you apart.

He couldn’t stand for it anymore. He wouldn’t. He brought you two together and he was damn determined to keep you that way.

And he knew that once Yeonjun had gotten to know you personally and spoken to you for just a little bit longer, he’d be unable to keep his word on distancing himself from you. All Kai had to do was find the perfect way to get you two talking.

————

Soon, days of ignoring you turned into weeks. And soon those weeks turned into over a month. Yeonjun had managed to stay away from you for over a month, and he was proud of himself for it. Proud, and gutted for not being able to be anywhere close to you for your own safety.

Anytime he felt like giving into his instincts, anytime he could sense he was about to throw it all out the window to go and get close to you, he had to stop and remind himself it was for the best. You were safer with him out of your life now.

Even if you still got bullied relentlessly by some of your so-called classmates. It was better than getting attacked by a werewolf or put in harm's way because a hunter decided to go after their little pack again.

But he would be lying if he said his lack of knowledge about how you were doing wasn’t killing him.

So much so that he had actually gone back on his word to follow you around campus a few times. He hadn’t meant to, truly he was pretty good at staying away from you.

But he just had to make sure you were doing alright every now and then. He stayed out of your line of sight, you had no clue he was anywhere around you. He still kept his word.

He had no contact with you and so he had no idea what was happening in your life minus what he had seen with his own eyes.

In fact, the only news Yeonjun got of you was what he had managed to catch from the pup’s conversations with their other brothers. The eldest didn’t have the courage to ask for any information himself, fearing that if he heard just the wrong thing he’d go running to your side and ruin your life.

And his brothers didn’t want to tell him anything about you if they could help it, figuring that it must’ve been torturing enough to be away from you.

Even so, the oldest of the pack couldn’t help but keep his ears open for any mention of your name or topics that could’ve been related to you whenever he was near them.

So he knew you had picked up two new students to tutor because your teachers asked you to help them out. Because you were someone that cared for others.

He wished he could ask you why you felt the need to spread yourself so think just so you didn’t let your teachers down. He wished he could ask you if you were getting enough sleep and taking care of yourself enough to compensate for the added stress.

He knew that you aced your physics exam you had been worried about because Kai insisted that he and the other boys take you out to lunch to celebrate since you had no one else to reward you for the good job you did.

Yeonjun hoped you listened to the boys when they told you how proud they were of you. He hoped that you believed every word he secretly coached/begged Huening to praise you with because he couldn’t tell you himself.

He knew that you recently went back to visit your mother in… Kenya? At least that’s the word he thought he had heard Kai tell Beomgyu when he questioned why you didn’t have a tutoring session with him that week.

He wondered what your life was like there and if you had a good time. He wondered what your family was like and if you missed them as much as he missed you.

Yeonjun felt like a hollowed out shell. Most days he only woke up or ate because his brothers practically forced him out of bed to shove food down his throat.

He didn’t even try to attend classes anymore, something that his school had sent him a notice for. But he didn’t care, he knew his rather well off and neglectful parents would just donate some large amount of money to the administration so they wouldn’t make a fuss over it or ask anymore about it.

He no longer attended parties. He still drank and smoked, but only when he could actually pull himself out of bed long enough to light a cigarette or pour himself a drink, which wasn’t very often.

And Yeonjun definitely didn’t give a fuck about sleeping around anymore. He had even had a few of his fuckbuddies come knocking on their front door asking why he wasn’t around or why he wasn’t responding to their late night texts.

But it didn’t matter to him, he closed the door in their faces with ease. None of them were attractive to him anymore. None of them excited him anymore. None of them were you.

His behavior was beginning to concern his brothers, so much so that they were beginning to think he was facing some sort of rejection from refusing to be anywhere near you. But truthfully he wasn’t. At least, he didn’t think he was.

He just felt like the flame that kept his hot head floating went out. He was tired and over dealing with any and everything if it didn’t pertain to you.

He thought maybe he’d feel a little better once the pup’s birthday came around. They usually celebrated by ordering his favorite foods and playing games together.

But instead, he was informed earlier in the day that Kai had already planned on going to some party one of his classmates invited him to.

So there he laid in bed, staring at the giant digital 11:55 PM on his alarm clock, waiting for his exhausted brain to finally let him sleep while all he could think about was you.

But just as he had begun to finally close his eyes, just as his mind had finally started to shut off so that he could rest, his phone began to light up and buzz on his bedside table. Someone was calling him.

He was about to just say fuck it and let it go to voicemail. But something inside him told him to answer it, that the call could be important.

Yeonjun propped himself up begrudgingly to grab his phone to see who it was, and low and behold Huening Kai’s goofy contact photo popped up on his screen.

Why in the ever loving fuck was Hyuka calling him so late? Wasn’t he out at some party?

He swiped right to unlock his phone and answer the call, “Huening it’s almost fucking midnight what in the hell could you possibly be calling me for?” The older boy groaned in Korean, his voice no doubt sleepy and dazed sounding.

“I-I’m sorry! I-I didn’t want to wake you!,” a feminine voice told him in English, a British accent slipping through as she stuttered in a panic, “This i-is Yeonjun right?”

His eyebrow lifted in confusion. Why had some random girl answered his phone? Why was she calling him so late? Where was Hyuka and why did the girl’s voice sound so familiar?

“Yes, this is Yeonjun,” He automatically replied in English, not knowing if the person on the other end even spoke his native language or not at that point, “Who’s this? Why are you calling me from Huening Kai’s phone?”

He heard the person clear her throat through, what he knew from experience to be, club like music before speaking again, “I’m sorry to bother you, but I wasn’t sure what else to do,” The girl apologized, “Kai’s very very drunk right now-” Yeonjun carefully tried to listen to the pretty sounding voice, wanting to be sure his tired brain didn’t mix any of its English words up, “He called me to help him get home. But I don’t have his address. I’d take him back to mine but the dorms don’t let us bring back opposite genders at night.”

He knew he knew your name. He was positive he had heard your voice before. It was on the tip of his tongue.

But before he could mentally guess anymore, another very familiar voice began speaking loudly in the background, “Noona wait! Is that- is it- Hi Yeonjun-ah!!” He heard Hyuka giggle as the girl begged him politely yet patiently to be quiet so she could speak.

“I’m sorry but Kai told me to call you because the others were busy?”

“Yes noona! Very verrry busy!” Huening laughed.

Based on his tone of voice, Yeonjun figured he must’ve been drunk off his ass. Which was worrying for two reasons.

One, the pup was a light weight who was naive when he was sober. The wrong person getting near him meant he was easy to take advantage of.

And two, it meant he wasn’t in control of his emotions. And that meant he could end up dissolving his contacts or shifting, at any given minute, and end up blowing their secret to a room full of random people.

“Right- yes busy. Anyways if you could just give me your address so I could bring him home I would really appreciate i-” but Yeonjun cut you off, knowing full well what was gonna have to happen.

“Don’t worry about it. Just watch him please. And send me the address. I’ll be there soon.” And with that, the older boy regretfully threw his blanket off of him, sat up, and threw his leather jacket over his tank top and some sweats over his boxers to head to the bathroom to put his contacts in. This would be fun.

————

When Yeonjun got to the gathering of young people, his nose was immediately hit with the smell of partygoer sweat and bad weed. He used to welcome the unsavory odor. But since he met you, it did nothing but give him a headache.

That wasn’t even the worst part of his night so far. He also had to wake Soobin up to get his car keys. Hyuka felt like throwing up when he went for a ride on Yeonjun’s motorcycle when he wasn’t piss drunk. The elder boy had recently gotten it detailed and he wasn't gonna risk his baby brother ruining it.

He probably would’ve more than likely fallen off of it anyways given the fact that the pup had probably drank so much he couldn’t hold his head up straight.

So he had to unfortunately wake up the alpha to ask him if he could take his safer care. A car Yeonjun wouldn’t normally have been caught dead in because of the mom vibes it gave off.

Yeonjun was also still a little ticked off that Kai had told whoever it was that called him that he was the only one available to help when all three of his other brothers were at home. Two of which were still actually awake.

Not to mention he was ripped from his bed just as he was finally falling asleep. Though maybe he should have, Yeonjun didn’t care if it was Huening’s birthday, he was gonna have to owe him big time for the night’s turn of events.

He managed to squeeze through the front door and did his best to zero in on the pup’s scent. He quickly figured out however, that that task would be nearly impossible. There was too much going on around him.

And it certainly didn’t help that he could also hear everything within the house. He could hear a guy down the hallway get rejected by a less than interested girl. Not that the guy was taking the hint in any sort of way.

Yeonjun soon found himself wondering if you would do the same to him if he had been able to ask you out. But then he realized he was being ridiculous. Of course you wouldn’t do that. You were too nice a person to try to blow off anyone asking you for a date.

He could hear all the best friends fighting outside about who was betraying who and why. He found one girl’s argument so compelling that he almost felt the need to take her side on the childish matter. Her voice was cracking and Yeonjun just knew that she must’ve been on the brink of tears.

He wondered if you would argue like her, if fighting with other people would overwhelm and upset you so much that you’d cry publicly to prove a point. Which he soon remembered was a dumb thought to have. You would never be in the position to argue with someone to begin with.

You didn’t like attention and, according to Huening, you weren’t someone who would fight with your friends. You were more someone who would fight for your friends.

He could hear all the people hooking up in the most public and odd places. Not that Yeonjun could say much, he used to do the same thing before he met you. He had actually had fun doing similar antics with random girls he would meet at parties. He liked the thrill of potentially getting heard or even caught by someone else.

But he knew that, even if he was willing to look through the mortal danger he could end up putting you in, chances of someone as shy and as anxious as you would never agree to doing something so daring. He wouldn’t have minded though.

At least he would have had the opportunity to be with you at all in the make believe realm the sounds around him constructed in his mind.

All the pining and internal pain he was feeling from his brain somehow finding a way to put you into his every thought on the situations around him was making him feel sick to his stomach.

Yeonjun wanted to go home and go to sleep already, at least he could dream about being with you. But no, he just had to come search for his alcohol intolerant brother.

Though just as the older boy was about to cut his losses and call it a night, figuring Hyuka would just have to wait for his fast metabolism to kick in and burn the alcohol out of his system to get home as a consequence of getting fucked up, he caught a whiff of an all too familiar yet enchanting aroma.

His heart sunk instantly in his chest and a whine instantly found its way out of his lips, much to the confusion of other party guests around him. What were you of all people doing at a college frat party?

You volunteered at the library because you thought it was a fun place to be. You tutored other students in your spare time because you wanted everyone to succeed. You were a straight A student on the dean’s list for heaven’s sake. You were too good and too innocent a person to be getting fucked up at a party.

Were you drinking? He didn’t feel any different than he normally did. Which meant you probably weren’t too drunk… right? Surely you wouldn’t have accepted a drink from a stranger. You would’ve known the dangers and the scary intentions behind the gesture…right?

Had you come to the party alone? Were you meeting someone at the party? Were you seeing someone at the party? Is that why you came?

The imprinting bond wasn’t as strong for you, if you even felt it at all given the current state of his relationship with you. Meaning you were still able to date other people and feel something, unlike Yeonjun who now found no pleasure in other peoples company because he had imprinted on you. God he hoped you weren’t there to hook up with some guy.

He didn’t know what to think. A million questions ran through his mind at once, but two kept making themselves more prominent: were you alright? Were you being safe? Yeonjun had to know.

So against his better judgment, he started following your scent rather than looking for his brother. Which ended up working for the better anyways as he was sitting on the couch in front of you, lightly giggling as you kept asking him to take small sips of water.

And that’s when everything clicked. A huge weight felt like it had lifted itself from his shoulders. You were the voice on the phone earlier.

Huening must’ve called you to come and help him because he trusted you and knew you’d come. Yeonjun just hadn’t heard you speak English before as when you introduced yourself, you introduced yourself to him in Korean to make him more comfortable.

You weren’t at the party getting wasted or getting with some random guy. You were at the party making sure his little brother was safe and well taken care of until he could be picked up.

He could hear you lightly giggling at Huening letting some of the water you were helping him drink fall down his chin. And he swore he would sell his soul if it meant being able to hear your beautiful laugh everyday for the rest of his life.

Yeonjun felt like he was on cloud nine. It was the first time he had been so close to you in what felt like forever and there you were being your usual loving and thoughtful self.

He felt such a rush of energy, in fact, that he hadn’t even noticed he had started walking to get closer to you until he noticed a girl come over and hand your shyly smiling form another bottle of water.

But not just any girl. It was a girl Yeonjun knew. She was a mate. Seungcheol’s, Beomgyu’s brother’s, mate. And she had ruffled Kai’s hair and left just as quickly as she had come over to hand you the water.

“Yeonjun-ah!” Huening squealed, making grabby hands at his older brother with a happy, albeit red, face, an action that had you turning around to look at him in return.

It was his first time being in front of you since the day Huening tried to introduce the two of you. He had thought that you’d hold a grudge at him for the whole situation. He thought maybe you’d hate him or call him names. Maybe even refuse to speak back to him or be blunt.

But the only emotion he saw from you was the light in your eyes going out as they widened in horror, mere moments before you dropped your grin and tilted your head down in what looked to be shame.

Yeonjun felt a knot twist in his chest. He knew you likely wouldn’t be happy to see him again, and he was prepared to deal with any angry or agitated remarks that you’d throw his way.

Though you didn’t end up being angry or agitated with him. You weren’t annoyed or holding a grudge. You didn’t pretend he didn’t exist or run away so you wouldn’t have to deal with him.

Seeing him made you feel sad. And that hurt him more than any words you could or any actions you could commit against him.

But you didn’t know that nor did he want to tell you that and make everything worse. So he nudged all the extra sweaty bodies away from him so that he could stand near you and his brother.

“Hi Ningning.”

————

You had just managed to get another sip of water in Kai’s mouth when you saw him. You knew he was coming, he had told you very aggravatingly over the phone that he would be coming to get your student from the party he had called you to so that you could help him.

And that was your original intent. You had received a call sometime after 11:00pm from your friend saying that he was drunk and needed help getting home.

Without question you put on the outfit you had already had laid out for the next day’s classes, grabbed your keys, and spring into action.

You didn’t want anything to happen to him. You knew he was very shy and quiet normally. You didn’t know what drinking a bunch of alcohol in a room full of strangers would do to him. But you knew what they could do to him. And you weren’t going to let it happen. Not if you could help it.

But when you got there, you had very quickly realized that you had no way of getting him home. He was too drunk to be able to remember his address.

He had no real friends around him at the time that knew where he lived either. And you had never been to his house before because you had always met up at school or at food places to celebrate good test scores.

You would’ve just taken him back to your dorm rooms if there wasn’t a rule in place about opposite sexes not being allowed in the rooms after a certain hour. Sure some of your fellow classmates snuck boys into the girls dormitories all the time. But you certainly weren’t one of them.

Doing such a thing was against the rules and you were an avid rule follower. And if your moral compass wasn’t enough to deter you, the clause in your international student contract that stated you could lose your scholarships if you were caught with a boy in your room while on campus was.

But even if you were truly able to get over all the internal alarm bells in your head that told you under no circumstances could you do such a thing for your friend, you had no idea how you would even do it.

So that left you with one last choice: phoning a friend. And, since you knew none of the people who did actually associate themselves with you knew where he lived either, you had to resort to phoning one of his friends.

You just weren’t sure which one. You figured you could try Soobin or maybe even Taehyun since they both lived with him and were friends with him, you weren’t even gonna consider Beomgyu because they’d both end up needing help in the end anyways, but Kai insisted they couldn’t help because they were busy.

In fact, when you listed off other people in his small contact list on his phone, he said most of them were. The only one that wasn’t just so happened to be Choi Yeonjun, the guy that hated you for just breathing.

And while you hated that you’d end up embarrassing yourself talking to him again from sheer nerves alone, you also knew that Kai should be at home in his bed sleeping the alcohol off so he didn’t get himself hurt.

Which is why you ended up calling the popular boy to begin with. Which you could tell he definitely wasn’t happy with given his oh so loving ‘what the fuck do you want’ attitude over the phone.

Which of course made you frazzled and panicked, even though you logically knew he was probably only saying such things because it was so late and he thought his friend was calling him.

So you resorted to speaking English to him over the phone, not thinking that he may not even be able to understand your accent or know the English language at all.

He seemed to understand, at least enough, because he was presently sat in front of you, chastising the younger boy for getting so drunk.

“Hyung, that’s not fair!!” A very child like Kai crossed his arms loosely over his chest, “It’s my birthday. I’m allowed to do what I want to do and no one should be able to stop me.”

While the small smile that had managed to find its way back to your face again at the boy’s cute antics did help you feel a little less uneasy over the situation, you still felt a range of emotions, almost all negative, that you weren’t sure how to handle.

You felt bad for your friend and for not being able to do more by yourself to help him. You felt ashamed for having to call Yeonjun, someone who quite literally hated your very existence, to come and get him in the dead of night.

You felt guilty for having probably woken the older boy up from his sleep and for forcing him to speak with you when he clearly didn’t want to. But mostly, you felt like you wanted to curl up in a ball in your room to cry again.

“Just because it’s your birthday doesn’t give you the right to inconvenience people Ningning.” Yeonjun rolled his eyes and grabbed Kai’s face, making him drunkenly follow his finger to see how far gone he was before letting his chin go and thumping him a little too hard on his head in annoyance.

Not that your friend seemed hurt by it anyways, it didn’t seem to phase him at all really. He actually found it funny and stuck his tongue out at him in defiance.

As the two went back and forth about who was wronged and who wasn’t, you somehow found the courage to move your gaze from your fingers to the party boy’s face.

How could somebody with such delicate features, no doubt handpicked by god himself, be so terrifyingly intimidating? Why did you have to think he was attractive? Why did he have to hate you? Why did life always seem to throw things your way it knows you have no way of getting through by yoursel-

Your thoughts were swiftly interrupted by the pretty boy, who’s piercing stare went from looking at his friend angrily to staring at you with… a look you couldn’t quite place as he spoke again, “Yeah well i’m sure ____ wasn’t too happy about having to drop everything to come help you either.”

Your eyes widened, not wanting to upset either of the two boys as Kai was trying to sober up enough to walk through the crowd of people blocking your way to the exit without having to be carried out.

“N-No!” You stuttered rather quietly for someone trying to have a conversation at a frat party, yet still managing to bring both their attentions straight to you, “I-I mean, I didn’t really- It’s not that I um…”

You noticed that, while Yeonjun had started to look at you with some much earned confusion, your friend began festering a devilish look in his eye and a mischievous smile.

You hadn’t told Kai what you had thought of his roommate, and you didn’t plan to. But part of you had begun to think that he may have caught on somehow.

“I-I didn’t have to drop much to come,” you finally managed to get out, “I w-was just at my dorm. And Kai’s my friend. I-I didn’t want anything to happen to him.”

The two men in front of you dropped any previous faces they had. At first you start to think that perhaps they were getting thrown on by your stress induced stutter you had worked so hard over the years to cover.

But as time went on and no one said anything, you realized the reason they went silent was because they hadn’t been expecting such a sincere reply from you.

Though how were you supposed to know what they wanted you to say or how they wanted you to act? It wasn’t as if situations such as the one you found yourself in were common for you. You hadn’t ever even been to a college party before Kai called you asking for help.

You didn't drink or smoke, the smell of alcohol and cigarettes made you physically nauseous. You didn’t party, you were always taught that education was more important. And you definitely didn’t have friends to joke around with, you didn’t have a frame of reference on how to properly reply to people.

“Hey Huening? You feeling any better? Or am I gonna have to carry you back to that god awful Kia Carnival?” Yeonjun joked, clearly only wanting to lighten the mood.

But your face started to heat up and you dropped your head down slightly, trying to help your very unstable friend stand so that he could get to his vehicle.

“Uh Hyung,” Kai slurred, finally getting to his feet as the older boy dove to put his arm over his shoulder so he could walk with support, “That’s not a very nice thing to say about ____’s car hyung.”

Your eyes widened, but you kept them straight as you stayed on his opposite side so he could safely move through the crowd of people without falling.

You shouldn’t have been surprised. You already subconsciously figured someone like Yeonjun would never agree with the way you lived your beige lifestyle.

Your schedule was as predictable as your responses. Your grades were as perfect as your attendance and your cookie cutter wardrobe. So it only made sense that your car was as bland as the rest of your life choices.

Someone like Choi Yeonjun lived life on the edge. He drank and smoked and partied. He never attended his classes or cared much about his grades. He drove a cool motorcycle and wore leather. He lived a fast paced lifestyle that you just… didn’t.

Part of you wished you could. That you could throw all your ambitions and thoughts to the back of your head and live a hectic lifestyle. But that wasn’t your life. You were bland and boring by most people’s standards. So was your car.

But it was a car you felt you could drive in a foreign country with little to no worry about your safety. It made you feel comfortable and that’s all that mattered to you. So you regretted nothing.

It was just a little embarrassing that someone so popular and wild decided to say such a thing about it out loud.

Yeonjun scoffed at him in return, “Huening I know you’re drunk off your ass right now, but let’s try not to put words in my mouth. I was talking about Soobin’s ugly car.”

“____ has a Kia Carnival too.” Your friend defended you, even though you just secretly wished you would’ve been swallowed whole by the dancefloor you were walking on.

You hadn’t planned on saying anything. You were actually internally praying Kai wouldn’t either. But you should’ve known better.

He was drunk and said what he was thinking out loud when he was sober already. Of course he’d still do the same while he was drunk off his ass.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could vaguely make out Yeonjun’s own fox eyes becoming bigger in surprise to Kai’s response.

“Oh shit! I’m sorry ____!” Yeonjun swiftly let out, saying your name in a way that made your stomach do backflips, “I- I didn’t mean it in a bad way!” He insisted, nearly dropping his roommate in an attempt to get his point across to you by facing you, something that confused you greatly.

His tone sounded almost… apologetic. What was he sorry for? Why would he care if he offended you or not?

The popular boy didn’t even care enough to give you basic human decency the last time you had met. Why did he seem so startled at the realization that he could’ve potentially hurt your feelings by making fun of the model of your car?

All you could think to do was shake your head to hide your blush, “Don’t worry about it. I hear stuff like that all the time from other students.”

Then once more from your peripheral vision, you could have sworn you saw Yeonjun’s face fall into an emotion you could only place as guilt.

Part of you wanted to ask if he was okay. Part of you also wanted to ask what was wrong with him. But you didn’t. You figured it wasn’t your place. You were a stranger to him.

Instead, you helped walk Kai back to his car with his friend, the only sound being made by anyone coming from the younger boy’s mouth.

“Uh guys? I think I’m gonna be sick.”

(Posted 2/5/2024)

15 notes · View notes

girlreblogger · 10 months

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honestly i don’t understand how ppl get mad because others don’t wanna read no traumatic, struggle love, lowkey violent, cheating, smut galore toxic shit. the amount of thug, plug/drugdealer, bum!, straight up scary, PRISONER (which is crazy yall romanticizing mfs getting outta/being in jail??) black reader fics (from all kinds of fandoms btw) is actually concerning.. like frfr let’s be honest with ourselves cause the things i’ve seen on here has truly been interesting. (thanks to the ppl who’ll put warning tags tho ig) and ofc ima eat up some of them fics cause they be good sometimes but also that’s all i be seeing. i truly wanna read sumn cute and sweet that don’t leave a bad taste in my mouth like i don’t wanna read the fic and then be pissed off after. obvi we all can just scroll and not read what we don’t want which (if you harassing ppl for what they write it’s never that deep… be fucking fr. write something in your notes to fulfill you or sumn until you find something. don’t use that as a reason to spread negativity) and ik a lot of ppl get at blk writers abt how yn talk which (???) idc cause i talk the same so we’re not talking abt that. also i gotta say sometimes the drug dealer fics be treating yn like a princess (which 🫶🏽) but that’s every now and then when it’s not toxic or drugs, extremely excessive smut and cheating isn’t involved. ofc ofc write what you want but pls bffr and don’t act like them characters don’t be putting yn through some bullshit. yeah tension and stuff is cute cause yk you don’t want it to be boringg but toxicity and attractive tension isn’t the same. there’s sooo many ways of going abt getting that tension. and so many other blk girls say the same and it’s just can we get something positive please. and that legit can just be maybe possibly no aggressive smut.. or a annoying situationship, or all the other lowkey scary shit i be seeing. it’s disheartening to wanna read something abt blk girls and your fav that’ll have your feet kicking up and stuff and then getting pissed off cause your fav character just manipyadipped and cheated on yn or sumn. i’ll keep writing self indulgent fluff in my notes app tho until then. (and if you want to read something positive write something for yourself then too if youn wanna post it or be a writer but PLEASE reblog ppls stuff when you not at least) and not to mentionnnnnn all the fluff on here that is for black readers we barelyy find like you can type “x black reader fluff” and barely any will pop up honestly. which some ppl don’t want certain ppl interacting with their stuff and some ppl don’t gaf abt fluff at all so that writer gets no interactions (or half as much of what they would get on something with smut or etc) and it discourages them from writing it more and it’s also harder for ppl to find what they did write. so even if you don’t care for it at least reblog or sumn pleasee to support the writers. i really appreciate all the blk writers or their works that don’t get enough attention. that’s why i post fluff or just more positive fics for the blk girls who are tryna find them. i’ll def make a list of writers that i like as well. if you want sweet rainbow glitter blk reader fics you gotta do sumn in return too dont just read and do a lil scroll nawl you can make a lil side blog and reblog stuff. mfs have lives tho ian reblogging every sec in general tho i feel like blk writers don’t get enough attention and exposure sometimes but that’s… another thing .. anyway dont stop writing what you want but idk dont act funny or be rude when someone don’t want to consume the same shit as you alllllll the time. i just felt like saying this cause i legit can’t go on here no more and find something that’s not toxic. when i heard ppl saying this i thought they was just talking to talk but nawll. anyways i wanted to say that bye.

#black reader #x black fem reader #black fanfiction #x black reader #black writers #anime x black!reader #i sound like i have an attitude but i promise i don’t #i say which a lot but wtv #if you don’t agree or gaf scroll tho

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adi-writes · 2 years

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Encanto Fic Recommendation Pt. 2

Hello! I'm back due to popular demand, jk. My twt moots decided to vote that I should post a second part of this, so here I am!

My opinions are unreliable and are more on the emotions I felt while reading. And it is given that I get too tired of writing the "reviews" that some fics will have one to none, but it doesn't mean that I don't love it, I'm just lazy.

Please tag the authors if they are here so I can tag them in their respective works.

And without further ado, fic recommendation pt. 2! Part 1

Series

Finding Your Place by monkiimax

The Sandman by cthene

La Familia Madrigal: Future Gen by GhostsintheAttic

What Does Love Sound Like? by Highly_Illogical

~ Encanto (En) by Syl_05

La Luna by luna_de_encanto (@lunamadrigal )

One-Shots

Three Pairs of Big Brown Eyes by TrixySpirit

Pinching The Pancita by GlitterNight (@glitternightingale)

Glass is Just Hot Sand by adoraberry

A Helping Hand by whelmedtobehere

and here, she rests by bthumanity

A little dinner scandal by SrebrnaFH

Stand-Alone

The Sandman by cthene (@cthene) = I am absolutely devastated with this fic. As much as I love their dynamic, I'm still crying. Bruno is such a badass when he learns to protect his family. Very wholesome, and will have you holding your breath every sentence, especially in chapter 2. Bring tissues, the angst is just *weeps*

The Precipice by RinnySega (@rinnysega) = I'm emotionally invested in this fic and I can't stop crying. pls RINNY STOP TORTURING OUR BOI

something unexpected by Wikluk for ADabOfBlessings (@wikluk) = holy shit Julie is pregnant and Antonio being the primo mayor he always wanted to be.

Help will always be offered by Casita by Dragonposeidon = Characters watch the movie but with young Alma and Pedro adgfksdfsks please theyre trying.

A New Way of Life by Catlovingmermaid = yeah Mirabel getting her legs crushed and their magic is gone. Now this got me thinking, why do we always put her into so much emotional damage? ahdajksdka but yeah same.

Eternal Candle Light by Sanda_Brask = Mariano/Dolores being the cute married couple but with the angst

Rumble Thy Bellyful! by cheetour (@cheetee) = Mariano being the resident himbo is so funyyyyy. and also Mariano/Dolores.

Object Permanence by cannibalthoughts = Mirabel found it hard to pin down Bruno but he was so good at blending with the shadows.

Written in Glass Not Stone by CaptainTardis = The family makes amends and fixes the cracks before they get worse.

Letting In The Light by WifeOfBean (@wifeofbean) = two words, emotional damage. i can only imagine how hurt Alma is, but at least she got reunited with Pedro? ig? anyways, im thinking as they are also Madrigals, would they get gifts too?

Anything To Remember by Buckalicious = Mirabel wants to remember her tio Bruno and the candle helps her.

A Second's Forever by masqcat = *cries loudly* poor Julieta.

And I Hear You by IBleedCottonCandy = Dolores had been through a lot just to have her happy ending. a lot of family angst and heartbreak.

Moving to the moment and the moment to the moving by ShyLittle_Frog = im a little confused with the timeline but the idea for this fic is amzing. and also, little Mirabel grrrr

Tremors by Missilestorm (@missilestorm1) = Mirabel finally gets a gift after the fall of Casita, but she feels more isolated more than ever.

This Might As Well Happen by LissyStrata = Bruno becomes a rat and the family bonds over it.

The Rats Talking in the Walls by SorryIWasAsleep (@sorryiwasasleep) = Instead of going to Luisa, Mirabel takes the Dolores's words literally and went to Antonio.

Primos by LittleRedTea = collection of one-shots of Milo & Mira duo throughout the years.

What if Mirabel was Banished? by GoldenRose29 = a twist on villain Mirabel but this time the family deserved everything. I mean why the fuck would they banish a child and then ban her from seeing her mother? And her only support was her grandpa and Pedro being supportive abuelo. zsdjzhfkjhfs so much feels for this.

the unspoken (in)visible pain by the_glare_you_see = scrappy Mira ftw.

Burned And Buried by Hlootooart (@hlootooart) = have u seen the art and this fic??!! its amazing. the family dynamics are well-written. the world? just amazing

Nothing In This World by EchoBleu = the family thought that Bruno killed Mirabel and now they're back in the Encanto.

One Step Closer by Breanna (@breannaaiedail) = she's back with another fic for the The Distance Between Us series. It's angsty. It's comforting. And if you read my previous fic rec, you know how much I love this series.

A Miracle, Ten Years Overdue by karimeaway = Mirabel as a ghost that only Antonio can see.

And Every Year Our Family Blessings Grow by Calicy = Dolores got pregnant unexpectedly, they eloped, and Mariano gets in trouble with Dolores's family.

Choices, Chances and Changes by Baamon5evr = I love the alternating time povs of this fic. basically, Bruno and Mirabel runaway from the Encanto and then returned.

Among the Emeralds by crazyashley (@thecrazyashley-blog) = Bruno/OC where the OC is a cafe owner and a book enthusiast. THEY ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER

NSFW

The Shade of the Sheets Before All the Stains by inredbluegreen = Bruno/Reader but the reader is a prostitute. Honestly, this made me want to be one if I get Bruno as a customer. I'm a thirsty bitch for him just for him tho.

EDIT: if it’s not a bother, you can check the fics I wrote too! skdhdkaks pls i need validation jk 1/2. anyways enjoy!

#encanto fanfic #encanto #disney encanto #madrigal family #encanto fanfic recomendation #familia madrigal

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tv-gh0st · 7 months

Text

Day 1- But now this room is spinning while im just trying to fill in the gaps

Day 1- "But now this room is spinning while im jus trying to fill in all the gaps" (726 words) by Prime_Path Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Four & Legend (Linked Universe) Characters: Legend - Character, Four Additional Tags: Sickfic, Linked Universe (Legend of Zelda), Four (Linked Universe)-centric, Wumptober, Is that not a tag?, Damn, Legend is a good big brother, or atlest hes trying to be, im pissed that isnt a tag, i will make that a tag with my own bare hands if i have yo, Four (Linked Universe) Needs a Hug, Legend (Linked Universe) Needs a Hug, Everyone Needs A Hug Series: Part 1 of Wumptober 2023 Summary: Four is just having a bad day, and Legend is trying his best to help he swears. Wumpee- Four, kinda Legend Characters- Four, Legen

today was a doosy, im posting this technically on october 2nd yes but the fic was posted on 11:59 pm so it counts

now why is this so horribly done and posted so late, because although ive started almost all the prompts already i technically havent finished them all(im not gonna be ad bad as today i swear) and i had really bad writers block on todays the today came around and its all shit

anyways thats my rant you can actually ready the fic now ig

Everyone was cold wet tired hungry and you know one or two of them would be sick(they couldn’t sleep out unless they all wanted to get sick), and it seemed like a miracle when a portal opened up, bad news they got thrown into Wilds goddessdamned Gerudo dessert. And it was fucking cold.

Atlest they could make a fire now.

But that really didn’t matter right now, because the moment Four walked through that portal he passed out, the last thing he heard was Legends squeaky noise as he was suddenly on 'make sure Four doesn’t die' duty.

The next time Four woke up he was very disappointed to find out they were still in the dessert. Apparently they got fucking split up And Four got really sick from the rain from the last Hyrule. He also felt very very fuzzy when he woke up. His head was pounding and he could barly hear anything his vison had black all around it and whatever wasn’t black spots was blurry as fuck. The thing that bothered him the most was how loud it was, he couldn’t hear anything yet everything was so loud in his head.

"F-r -OUR!"

"R-red?"

"ye- m- tuic red"

Four couldn’t hear a word of that so he just squinted at Red? Well he tried but the need to close his eyes won and Four effectively passed out, the last thing he hears being a grunt of some kind.

The next time he wakes up Four feels every so slightly more lucid, he can even hear again(the static in his head is sounding more and more like fighting by the minute) everythings still hot and blurry but he soon feels a wet towl? On his face.

"Hmm"

"Four!"

Said boy tilts his head, that’s not red is it? Maybe it is. No.

"thank godesses your finally awake." Legend? He thinks that’s who it is.

"yes im Legend."

Oh hes talking outloud.

"mhm"

"Come on you have to eat something, which means you have to sit up, I only have rations and ingredients but its better then nothing." as he said that Legend was helping him sit up, well Legend was kinda just doing it all but Four aprecieted it a lot actually, as he had to get helped eating the tastless jerky that the captain hands out for rations.

And that’s were they were now, Four getting basiclly fed and he just felt horible and the arguing got louder in his head and it felt like it just kept getting louder and louder and louder until.

"SHUT UP"

Hed barly been awake for 10 minutes and he couldn’t take it anymore he just wanted to go back to sleep and wake up in a nice cool inn where they had food and water and were his brothers were with them.

"-our Link?"

Oh yeah legend, fuck legend. Hed yelled, it wasn’t ment at him everythings just so loud and everythings spinning and he just wants everything it shut up shut up shutup shutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutup.

"link!"

He felt heavy presence of Legends hands on his shoulders and everything else stopped.

Legend sighed.

Besides that it was silent

"m sorry…"

Legend just looked at Four in a way that screamed, confused, a little mortified even, sad, and angry but not at him Four hoped atlest.

He really looked like that little kid who was trembling in his tiny boots thinking he didn’t need Elzo while he was really listening for Elzos every word.

He really did think Elzo was just a saftey net didn’t he.

"no- god no Four fuck uhm. Your sick im sorry I know somethings happening its loud er like in your head right? Im ausuming the mutturing you’ve been doing was them right? The uhm I don’t know what you call em."

What?

Wait.

Did Legend know?

"How-"

"I sorry I didn’t say anything I- your like uhg I cant do this now im sorry I Shouldn’t have said anything I just, I get it well I don’t but it- your sick and it cant be easy I just im not mad or anything okay"

Four sighed, hed deal with the fact legend knows later, and the fact that the yelling is still promanint hes tired and everythings still spinning, and well hes happy that legend isnt mad? He supposes"

#wumptober2023 #linked universe #fanfic

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runawaymun · 1 year

Note

this might be a little out of the blue, if you ignore it I totally understand, but I've been observing the "salt and light" thing from a distance and I really, really appreciate your posts about the recent developments. I never really had any belief the tag/group would be any different, so I never engaged with it, but it means a lot to know that it's not just me once again left feeling estranged from and ashamed of their faith. it's tiring, but also a little bit invigorating, re-realizing what a few gay Christian stories could mean to someone else in a similar state of mind. so, yeah, thanks for being, ironically, some salt and light!

Hey, thank you so much for dropping this in my inbox. Let's be buds, if you want :)

I was quite certain that there would be some people like this in the tag, but I had been hoping that since it had been presented as a place for Christian writers, then we could all maybe try to coexist and respect each other. I'm used to doing that at church because uh, yeah, reasonable adults can agree to disagree and the tag originally was presented as being a space for Christian writers, not a space for 'clean' content.

I just wish people would be honest. I dislike having to hedge people into saying what they mean. Either you want a moderated safe bubble for you and your pals (which is fine if you do!) or you want to create a community around the shared belief in Christ. They've since created a collection that it seems like they'll be moderating. Since their original intent seems to apparently have been to exclude queer Christians from the beginning, I am not sure why this wasn't their go-to option (and why they didn't just say so. It takes one honest, clear sentence on your pinned post. One honest clear sentence to say "If you're a writer whose art is impacted by your theology, whose beliefs come through your fingertips, who believes in a narrative where hope and love and light triumph, then tag away. Unless you're queer or your characters are.")

And...yeah...estranged and ashamed is 100% the feeling. I am just so sad that within like, 48 hours, the phrase "salt and light" has escaped containment to become somewhat synonymous with homophobia. I've seen some people outside the community discussing it independently and the general terms seem to be at large "uh it's Christian and homophobic ig??" which is just...so....frustrating. Because that's the exact opposite of what Salt and Light should be. We had a chance to show people that grace belongs to everyone who asks for it (and even those who don't. God causes his rain to fall on the righteous and unrighteous and all that...) and we dropped it.

<3 thank you SO much for reaching out. I want to be salt and light. I want to be a beacon of hope and love and kindness. I want my blog to feel cozy and warm and inviting and I want, above all, to speak justice, love mercy, and walk humbly. I'm glad that seems to be shining through. If the sum of my life is that I was kind, and I loved, and I helped even one person, then it's all been worth it. Every bit.

#out of uniform #cw religion #tw homophobia #salt and light

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chronicowboy · 1 year

Text

2022 writing review

so its 2023, so what? better to review a year with a little bit of distance methinks

tagged by @kitkatpancakestack hope ur 2023 is going well so far muah <3

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 42 oh lord

2. Word count posted for the year: 297,700 (mortifying)

3. Fandoms I wrote for: 9-1-1

4. Pairings: buck/eddie

5. Story with the most:

kudos: please? (can't say no) 1,220 kudos

bookmarks: the persistence of memory 386 bookmarks

comment threads: the persistence of memory 119 threads

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): ooooof i was gonna say the persistence of memory just because of the sheer word count and that i love the story but im actually really proud of my gilmore girls au all you have to do is call my name (i'll be there) because i wrote 40k words in under a week and for once i wasn't wondering about if people would read it i wrote it for me (and my beloved elke) honourable mentions to 1001 reasons to not get drunk with your sister's boyfriend and any of my ravi pov fics because they're silly but i love them all the same and my amnesia collection

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why): hmmm probably we don't go through the glass doors because it was half-formed but i still posted it, i basically just saw that gif of peeta pressing his forehead against the forcefield for katniss in the jabberjay scene and i was like but what if it was buddie and yeah i just do not know why i posted it ig

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received: any comments i've had saying that i should be a writer for the show makes me want to scream such as "this is soooooooooooo good!!!! its so perfectly and wonderfully devastating and heartbreaking and emotional and warm and soft. you write the firefam's dialogue SOOO WELL! they should add you as a staff writer tbh. ❤❤❤❤❤❤" on (tpom surefire way to make me happy is to compliment my dialogue and the 118 dynamics)

9. A time when writing was really, really hard: at the moment tbh i have so much uni work to do and an original piece of fiction im 200+ pages into and i'm trying to do all of that at once so the fic has fallen to the wayside a little

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: god this is really difficult and it definitely doesn't help that i can barely remember anything about my fics but um i guess character-wise its a surprise whenever i write taykay as an actual character rather than just a mention through gritted teeth lol but um scene-wise maybe just my whole albert pov fic what are you doing home? we thought you were babysitting just because its not something i'd normally write (eddie is only mentioned how uncharacteristic of me!!)

11. A favourite excerpt of your writing: oh god um i am so proud of lots of bits to my writing so i'm going to try to limit myself

just all of my surrealism weaved into 9-1-1, what's your fantasy? to kind of hint that buck's dreaming

the realisation scene in flatpack furniture and a djungelskog

"It'll be pretty cool, right?" Eddie's talking, but Buck can barely hear it over the static ringing in his ears. "To look at it and know that we made it together—"

You don't find it, son, you make it.

Its nothing special. Its nothing out of the ordinary.

There's nobody in this world I trust more with my son than you.

There's an Alan key sitting in his open palm, ever so slightly warmed by Eddie's hand.

I know you did.

Its nothing special. Its nothing out of the ordinary.

You two have an adorable son.

Eddie passes him tools at work all the time without him asking. They've suffered the telepathy jokes a million times.

Shouldn't it be when you're at your worst, they're at their worst, you have every reason to give up and you still decide you want to try again.

this scene from the only try day is wednesday because i originally hated this fic until i reread this moment

The picture catches the flames, curling up at the bottom corners, colours melting away and consuming Eddie and Christopher whole before finally, finally taking Buck too.

Because that's the thing. If Eddie is in there, if he's— Then that's what's going to happen. The fire takes Eddie first. Then, Christopher. Christopher who loses two parents and gets stuck with a Buck, a Buck he'll grow to resent because Buck's the reason Eddie was here in the first place, because Buck didn't save Eddie. So, the fire will take Buck finally.

And it will take him violently. It will ravage him, turn him to ash and sift it through their fingers until he's nothing but a few chunks of burnt bone. It will take him, consume him, ruin him. And he'll be dead, in every way that counts. He's already dying now.

Buck refuses to let it happen.

He'll die. He'll die before Chris can resent him because that would finish him off. Losing Christopher, losing Christopher to hatred and loathing, that would kill him. And that death would be much more violent than any chaos fire could wreak.

this scene in memory (all alone in the moonlight)

"Eddie, can we not do this?" Sighing, Buck looks up at the ceiling. "I'm missing five years of my life. I feel like shit. I really don't need you coming in here acting all weird."

Eddie lets out a breath and takes a step forward.

"What do you need from me, Buck?"

And, fuck, that question really shouldn't bring tears to his eyes, but. But Buck's spent his whole life being the one asking that question and now he doesn't even know the person who knows him well enough to ask it.

"I need my best friend." He whispers.

Eddie's face crumbles and he crosses the space between them in three steps, settling onto the edge of the bed and pulling Buck into his chest. Buck clutches at his Henley as he tries to compose himself, but Eddie's hand settles heavy at the base of his skull.

"Hey, don't do that." Eddie murmurs. "Just let it go, Buck."

And so, Buck breaks—for the second time in as many days—in a relative stranger's arms.

Eventually, when the tears have subsided and Buck finds the energy to be embarrassed about dirtying Eddie Diaz's shirt with snot and tears, he sits back in his bed and scrubs at his face.

"Thanks." He rasps.

"You don't have to thank me for that, Buck." Eddie offers him a cup of water and a handful of tissues. "I know you don't remember it, but we promised to have each other's backs and I don't plan on breaking that anytime soon."

"Fuck." Buck wipes at his eyes with the tissues until Eddie pries it from his hand and takes over for him, soft and gentle enough to have the tears springing to life all over again. "I really want to hate you." Eddie laughs.

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: honestly just sheer volume of writing, for most of my writing life i was always so perfectionist and adamant that i couldn't move on until this one project was polished and perfect but this year i've written and written and written and let myself abandon projects and have rough first drafts yknow

13. How do you hope to grow next year: hmm idk really maybe just write even more and branch out a little in what i'm writing

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer, beta, cheerleader, etc): @danielsousa my love, my heart, my rock!!!!! honestly probably wouldn't have written half as much if it weren't for elke cheering me on for the gilmore girls au and sending me screenshots of my writing that made her want to kill me

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: oh much i'm sure, i put myself into everything i write intentionally or not just because its such a personal thing for me but um in persistence of memory all the timeloop media references and agents of shield as i have always been reference specifically

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: read and write! nothing is ever going to help you as much as that. read fics yes, but read books and poetry anthologies and non-fiction! and write! write fic, write shitty poetry in your notes app, write short fiction, start a book. in the wise words of shia la boeuf JUST DO IT

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: ohhh okay so i have plans for two very big buddie aus an agents of shield au where fitzsimmons are technically henchim but buddie gets their romantic scenes, and then a national treasure au because i am a SUCKER for those films and chimney as riley is something that can be soooo personal

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read: ummm just anyone who wants to do this?? feel free to say i tagged you because my brain isn't working!!

#sami rambles #this is long sorry #but it was really fun #and definitely not a way for me to ignore all that aforementioned uni work #tag game #long post

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daz4i · 8 months

Note

T U B R & Z :) for the Ask Question :)

hi hi hi sorry for the late reply, and thank you for the ask!!! ^o^

answered t here!

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

bsd: gonna shock everyone i know..... nikolai :) his vibes are just impeccable. i love his whole view of life and what he does in hopes to achieve his impossible goal. i love that he's crazy cuuhraaaayyzeeee asylum but also is he. keeping us on our toes. and most importantly he is FUN every time he's around you can't help but have a good time even tho he's like, gruesomely murdering someone (i mean for me it's also part of the fun but eh)

fire emblem: ferdinand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he is just. ough. he is so dear to me. he fills my heart with joy and warmth i can't explain it. he has such a good and lovely arc and despite suffering and losing so much he remains positive through it all and tries his best to help others. and he's also just! very fun! like with nikolai every time he's on screen is just enjoyable, usually p funny, or very touching :')

persona: akechi. he makes me insane. esp in royal he's a very well written and interesting character imo, his motivations are illogical in a logical way (as in. they're illogical but you can perfectly understand why), he is so so tragic. and once again like the last 2, he is just so so fun, esp in third sem where he lets loose and becomes more violent and vulgar and sassy :)

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

tbh i wasn't sold on fyolai at first (which is probably shocking to those who haven't followed me when i first got into bsd lol) but creantzy's art convinced me of it ngl :P also the anthology art bc i mean. yeah

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

dazai and atsushi........ hits me very deep in my soul........... it's so dear to me it means so much to me............ i can't even put it in words bc it simply makes me overflow with too much emotion at once

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go!

ig when it comes to fandoms. one big pet peeve i have is the amount of negativity ppl have around the source material?

criticism is valid and understandable and no media is free of it, but some people really spend almost all their time in a certain fandom doing nothing but hating it and its creator (biggest example is the bnha fandom is 2017ish. i swear most posts i saw abt it were hate posts from people who were still following the manga religiously)

not to mention the version of this that's like ignoring canon completely and making up new personalities for the characters in an attempt to make them non-problematic and such. pls just make ocs

like at some point i can't help but wonder why they're still reading it?? please move on to different things? if not for your own well being then for other fans bc i don't wanna see your negativity when i'm trying to be excited over smth i like 😭

(also true abt ppl who hate a character/ship and spend more time talking abt how much they hate it than talking abt the ones they do like, or worse, leaving mean comments on posts/fics made by ppl who do like it. yes that includes "problematic" ships or characters. complaining here and there is chill ofc but you gotta move on at some pointtttttt just block the tags or ppl who post a lot of it come on)

but fr it's mostly for you. esp if you're someone who doesn't have a lot of free time, why are you spending so much of it on something you're not even enjoying? i just don't get it 😔 you shouldn't take sunk cost fallacy into account when it comes to your joy i think

#ramble turned into a bit of a rant there sorry asdkjfgh but it's smth that as you can see. has been bothering me for awhile

0 notes

jackalspine · 2 years

Text

I posted 1,320 times in 2021

346 posts created (26%)

974 posts reblogged (74%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 2.8 posts.

I added 896 tags in 2021

#danny phantom - 268 posts

#jackal shenanigans - 127 posts

#skeh - 125 posts

#dp - 81 posts

#danny phantom au - 74 posts

#to draw later - 62 posts

#bnha - 49 posts

#danny fenton - 39 posts

#danny phantom crossover - 36 posts

#midoriya izuku - 35 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#airing out the attic that hasn’t felt fresh air since grandma locked her old lover in an ornate trunk and stuffed it in the back of storage

My Top Posts in 2021

ANOTHER ONE ::)

I've been thinky about the stretchy portal,, and headcanon a reason why it stretch,, ok so in Amity Park, the ambiant ectoplasm resulted from a stable portal in the area, softens the plane between the Ghost Zone and Amity, so it's way easier to make portals there, and it's a little goopy... When making portal in places that don't have an everflowing source of ectoplasm, it's a lot more difficult bc there's no energy to keep a rift between dimensions open, the portals naturally want to close themselves.. thus... Stretchy..

Again, thank u @the-stove-is-on-fire for the minor details in ur lovely art that pervades my Conscious Mind!

2070 notes • Posted 2021-05-07 09:59:57 GMT

Au where Danny flees to Europe after identity reveal gone wrong and finds himself in Paris France at the height of Akuma Activity and being the massive ball of angst he is Hawkmoth instantly zeros in on him.

He spends like 20m listening to some French guy in his brain ramble menacingly, not comprehending an ounce of it.

And like, it’s not like it’s doing anything.. so he kinda just?? Keeps walking around like hm. Free white noise ig,,

People notice the telltale sign of an akuma, but watch on as … nothing happens.

The French guy in his brain sounds a little upset now which is kind of a bummer, but whatever.

Local heros Ladybug and Chatnoir watch on as this guy just. Sits down at a fountain. Doing nothing. Wearing them butterfly walkie talkie glasses… nothing.

It’s almost 27 minutes before he opens his mouth and everyone realizes he’s foreign atfsajkbkk

3073 notes • Posted 2021-11-04 09:19:50 GMT

Sorry if my thoughts are not entirely coherent in this thing hh lmao

Hoho, so you’ve decided to engage in the wonderful world(s) of Danny Phantom crossovers! Wonderful! Many options are presented to you, they as as follows:

Will your crossover be taken place in an extension of the cannon universe or will you be yeeting the boy through space and reality to force them juicy cross content interactions??

Hm?? And how far are you willing to go?

There are cannon options for inter-dimensional hopping. But the phandom is not unfamiliar with choosing Violence.

Oh dear! Bitch Fartman has left us with quite the dirt to work with! Ah the things we can mold. Has his mother decided to dissect her son? Has the shady government agency gotten their unethical latex finggies on our boy?? Or have we straight up KILLED HIS ENTIRE FAMILY????

Really, the show gives so many alternative reasons for Danny to potentially like, be somewhere else,, they have an abundance of canonical and fannon portal content to fuck around with??? Y’all are like, nah, no loose ends *clicks third safety off glock*

Also?? Connecting Danny to another universe by just being like,, “yeah, actually, ur adopted” fucking HILARIOUS better yet, starting off with him actively knOwing the other character??? Gold. Gold, I love you. Like, “lmao this is my cousin, he sure has some Wacky stories of his own huh?” “Weird how we’re both absolutely JAcked with plot juice huh?” “Lmao, wild”

3400 notes • Posted 2021-07-04 10:54:14 GMT

During Danny’s fuck around n find out phase of having powers he finds out that turning intangible negating air resistance makes him.. real fast.. which really should’ve been a given but physics was an 11th grade subject, sue him.

He tests out how far he could travel in an hour. The answer is: Fucking Far

So as the years go on, and his powers get stronger- the boy is far too comfortable with traveling long distances for trivial things.

Idk I was thinking abt crossovers again and I just?? Wouldn’t it b funny if a bunch of ppl around the world knew phantom personally, and thought he was a local hero of their own place?? But really he’s just good at wandering?? Like a stray cat everyone on the block is convinced favors them, but actually belongs to someone and returns home regularly.

Like, probably no portal shenanigans, just purely Danny zooming around, buying obscure local snacks, saying hi to friends from Everywhere.

3654 notes • Posted 2021-07-26 12:39:10 GMT

Oh yeah danny phantom is cold blooded.. u know…

ectothermic.

bc he’s half human he still likes the feeling of warmth even if the cold never bothered him anyway or whatever

Yeah Danny Fenton frequently seen lying directly on the concrete side walk after school to warm up.

Nappin in a sun beam hell hyeah

6244 notes • Posted 2021-11-04 23:37:24 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #long post #wHOO #100% of it is danny phantom shenanigans ajhsjsks

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daisyfics · 3 years

Note

Hi there! Can I pretty please request for kokichi, shuichi, and nagito with an s/o who is just like nanno from girl from nowhere? I saw that request of yours with tanjiro and I loved it! Keep up the good work! 💕<3

Hello! Thanks for the gender confirmation request and the actual request! I hope you enjoy!

🟪(slight), ⬛️Kokichi, Shuichi, Nagito x reader who is like Nanno (girl from nowhere)

Pairings: Kokichi x reader, Shuichi x reader, Nagito x reader

Gender: female

A/n: I hope you enjoyed! This was written in a rush because I’m going somewhere so I apologize! Also read tag rules!!

Kokichi:

•Previously I had written hc’s of drv3 characters with a psychopath reader— I think he would act like how he did in that request

•Meaning he would be immune to your acts and things

•He likes to help you with your plans, and he isn’t such a bother while you two do them, either

•If you’re doing something to harm someone though, either physically, mentally, or emotionally, he can’t really help with that

•He thinks it sucks to bring someone down like that, and he’s been through that sort of treatment

•So, he holds off on helping you if you’re affecting relationships with other people or just damaging their mental health

•He might confront you about it later, like “Hey, I know that’s what you do and all, but I think you might’ve taken it a bit far… aha…”

•So you go after him next

•Like in the psychopath reader hc’s, people might think you were involved in some murders because of your toxic personality, but Kokichi sometimes sticks up for you unless he can’t

Shuichi:

•Aw he would be kinda scared of you

•I mean, if that’s how you spend time then by all means, do that

•But if you’re doing it because you’re mean, then don’t talk to him anymore

•Nah, but seriously— he doesn’t really approve of the things you do

•However, like Nanno, you’re usually very sneaky about everything you do, so sometimes he doesn’t know that you’re up to something right away. He’s still the ultimate detective so he’ll find out eventually and scold you

•“F/n, you can’t do that to people! It’s mean! How would you feel if I did that to you?”

•Get used to the Golden Rule ig

•But yeah, he’d have to die to help you

•Some people think that he’s involved in your acts because you’re his girlfriend and all, but he’s like “Me? With her? No”

•So yeah don’t expect his help anytime soon

Nagito:

•Uhh okay he’s a bit hard to write for

•He met you when he was stuck receiving your karma for being a bitch in Byakuya’s trial

•That’s when he was like “damn lemme hit that (I’m kidding 😐)”

•Nah but seriously, he would’ve taken a liking to you

•Sometimes when you tell him about your past doings, he would be like “that’s not very hopeful of you”

•Silly boy

•I can’t say the same thing every single time I write for dr characters, so you wouldnt really be suspected when the body is found

•You act surprisingly normal during class trials, even somewhat helpful which is a surprise to him

•You know what it’s like to want payback on someone so you’re a good help with feelings like that

•That’s why he loves you, you’re so toxic like him ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎

Tags

#nagito x reader #shuichi x reader #kokichi x reader #danganronpa #danganronpa x reader #sdr2 #drv3 #anime x reader

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astroninaaa · 3 years

Text

chapter 4 of apologies from the intercom is out now

and i wanted to both advertise the fic again and make a lil thank you message for all the people that helped me with it because this was a hard chapter to write and i considered giving up on it many times so <3 here we go

okay so- apologies is a c!tubbo-centric fic and it’s mainly a character study on how c!tubbo’s trauma affects him and his relationships up until he has a breakdown. there are a lot of c!beeduo and c!cabinetduo bits because- beloveds, and then yeah! here are. some bits of the new chapter. it was my first time writing ranboo pov so it was HARD but i tried

Ranboo was sure no type of land, be it cursed, holy, salted, loved, or blown up, would be able to ever stop the president’s hands. When he closed his eyes, months later, he could still see the rough fingers full of splinters, the chipped nails, the steady movements as he placed block after block, fixed broken structure after broken structure, built building after building from the ground up. Never in his life had he been met with such motivation, such certainty, such love for ruined earth, he was sure of it — if he had, he wouldn’t have been able to forget it.

So the minutes man watched carefully as the president’s hands worked, putting up walls that his citizens relearned to call home, dirt under his short fingernails and messy to-do lists written down his arms. The scars looked like stars painted over careful canvas, an explosion of color underneath bruised skin and loving smiles.

and

The words got caught in his throat. Once again, Ranboo waited. Wilbur breathed in and out slowly, calming himself down.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think it’d feel— like this to talk about.”

Ranboo didn’t answer. Wilbur breathed in and out slowly one more time.

“The second rocket would’ve hit him square in the chest, too, but he put up his hands to try and protect himself. The damage to his right side was worse because his hands covered mostly his left. He died anyway. The blood stayed. So much blood, Ranboo. It— it dripped down the podium. Days after, I’d close my eyes and I’d just see the blood dripping down the podium.”

and

The mansion had been entirely designed to keep heat in and aggressive mobs out, warm rooms and safe staircases making up what had been built to be the perfect home. Michael’s toys were spread around the different bits of the house, child-proof railings and covers and everything of the sort protected every corner, and messily-taken, heart-warming pictures hung on the many walls. Furthermore, every hallway was adorned by different flowers, and Ranboo’s favorite ones stood on the first floor by Tubbo’s office, an intricate vase filled with pink tulips and alliums that brightened the entire area around them. It was a tiny detail, their respective favorite flowers intertwining and interlacing with one another, but it still made the enderman’s hands tremble with delicate contentment. It was always the little things, between the two of them.

:] please read??? please read??? i did my best

now onto the appreciation bit for all the help let’s GO under the cut tho

shoutout to:

@zrenia for beta-reading it oh my god thank you SO MUCH you helped so so so much i can’t thank you enough istg

@michaels-two-dads bro i can’t even START log if it wasn’t for you i don’t think i would’ve finished writing this dksjfsbjf just. the support and your excitement were really big motivators and it was great thank you so so so much i really appreciate you so much + getting closer to you has been really nice :]] i love you thank you

@aistandardcherry CHERRY MY BELOVED. CHERRY MY BELOVED. I LOVE YOU!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!! thank you for keeping up with my bullshit through it all. and for telling me to shut the fuck up when i started to get self-deprecating. you mean so much to me thank you :]

@catastrofhe for just. everything. you liveblogging my writing on discord dms was the highlight of my night last night istg- LMAOOO just. yeah thank you so much. for everything. i love you ig

cadence anon for the excitement and all. love you :]

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST @doodlebloo who accepted reading the first 3 chapters of apologies when i haven’t even started writing the fourth one and told me it was worth to keep writing it. that was. very lovely of you back then. thank you :]

and quick shoutout to all the people who commented and left nice tags on my first post advertising apologies, specially @manlet-rights-activist, @tubboblr, and @caampalyse. you guys might think your lil comments didn’t matter much but they meant the world to me while i was having a crisis thinking my writing sucked so!!!!!!! JKDSNFKJSDN just. thank you very much :] ye

please read this bullshit chapter i rage-wrote it in the span of a week after procrastinating and writing and deleting for two months i was gonna give up on writing forever and blame writing ranboo pov for it this was STRESSFUL OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

anyways have a good day guys!!! mwah

#apologies from the intercom #tubbo #dream smp #dsmp #ranboo #wilbur soot #c!tubbo #character study #haha nice #tw blood #tw violence

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thejudgingtrash · 4 years

Note

Annabeth is a good person,but not a nice or pleasant one,IMO.

YES.

That’s it. That’s the post. Pack it up everybody, we just cracked the case and cleared up one of the most compelling fights in the PJO fandom since forever. Good job everybody, clap it out and there’s the door! Don’t forget ordering the drinks at Starbucks, Mitch! They’re on me!

Okay, but on a more serious note: YES. YES EXACTLY.

And before some of you roll your eyes or grab your pitchforks – put your biases aside and hear me out for once. I like Annabeth. She’s my in my top three characters only second to Percy himself. I love Percabeth. It’s my favorite ship in the entire series and to be frank, the only ship that I care about PJO wise. Hell, I spend my time creating my own headcanons or writing my own fanfics with Percabeth being the star in them.

But that is not to say that I’m unable to see how certain things have developed over the years or where they stand now in regard to Annabeth. I’m not here to ignore things that have been said and/or done due to or in the name of Annabeth and I’m not here to vilify anyone that doesn’t like her. And I’m here to admit that I’m guilty of some of the things that may be addressed in this meta essay that you will read in just a second. However, I try my best to assure you, that I’m for once able to recognize my own bias.

Warning: a monster essay lies right upon you.

This should count as a paper of its own.

Back to the statement on top: I would go out even further to reframe your claim, anon:

Annabeth Chase is a good character but not a nice or pleasant person.

Annabeth is a wonderful character but she isn’t a nice one. Or at least not nice to everyone. She is (construction wise if I dare say) the best character out of the series. She has her positive traits (she’s caring, she’s emotional, she’s encouraged and volunteers, she fights for what she believes in, she forgives (even if doing so begrudgingly)) but she also has her negative traits (she’s stubborn, she’s brash, changing her mind takes forever, she is prejudiced, she baits others). That balances things out. She is branded as the intelligent kid but does irrational things (like I’ve just said a) she’s a kid and b) she’s not a robot). She should probably know better, but we all make mistakes and hopefully grow and learn from them. The clouds in the sky do blur and cover our visions sometimes.

Annabeth had clashes with other characters or was about to have fights due to her stubbornness or jealousy (Rachel, Reyna, etc.) and has of course her problems with the mortal world and her family but she also found new friends, some things cleared up throughout the narration and she was/is quite popular in Camp Half-Blood.

The thing is: she doesn’t have to be nice or pleasant (as a character). Or at least not all the time. Her character is humanized. That is what or who she is. Human. She does stand out as a character, not just because she’s the (future) love interest. She feels like someone you could meet in real life and either adore from the top to the bottom or declare as your biggest enemy. And that’s totally okay if you lean either way – liking or disliking her. Or even feeling indifferent about her. Also great!

To say that she has been the best character that Riordan has crafted is easy to say, because she has been sculpted after Riordan’s wife. He had a model he could rub some of real-life events or traits on. That’s not the problem. The problem truly doesn’t lie on Riordan’s side for the most part for once.

The problem is inherently on the fandom’s side. What the fandom does, how it acts and how it treats Annabeth as a character is the problem. The problems vary but it’s mostly the mischaracterization of Annabeth, starting fights and fan/ship wars, internalized misogyny (in some cases) and how some of the Annabeth stans lash out (ha, got firsthand experience in that field among many of my friends and mutuals!). There is a reason why many people are wary of people that have Annabeth or Percabeth related URLs.

The fact that we see Annabeth mostly through Percy’s lens and (until the Heroes of Olympus saga hits) we never really see her in chill everyday situations is essentially Riordan leaving the back door of the house open, ready for all of you asshats to rob his mansion in Boston. Because a frame on a character means that we don’t get to see the character in its entirety (unlike we do with Percy in PJO for the most part). That means a bunch of stuff is left open for interpretation which is the reason why Annabeth gets so many polarized headcanon and opinions tossed around. I think that is one of the true appeals of Annabeth. You can add on stuff and it necessarily doesn’t have to contradict itself.

We have people calling her abusive due to a (n admittedly stupid and unnecessary) judo flip and we have people that act like she’s never done anything wrong. People sorta use this excuse to form and shape Annabeth however they want and distort her characterization.

People in the fandom act like Annabeth is some weird prized possession. We perceive Annabeth mostly through the eyes of others (Percy, Apollo, etc.) and when we had some sort of insight in her ways (MOA, HOH) it felt… weird? Somewhat? Like Riordan left two bullet points of her characterization and told the ghostwriter: aight, fuck it up, gringo, see you on Tuesday and greet Fred the next time you see him for me.

There have been many posts lately (by Tharini, Simi, Sawasawako, Jewishpercy and Annie I believe?) that HOO Percabeth felt weird. That they felt weirdly constructed, that there was no conflict, no growth. It felt stagnating, like we’re turning back. We had five books prior where we had Annabeth and Percy slowly shifting from disliking to liking and crushing each other. True development. And when we finally got the cake it felt… dissatisfying. Like the cheap box stuff and not the delicious exquisite taste that we were promised.

I said it previously in my Percabeth ship roast, but let me repeat myself: many Percabeth related things are straight up fanon. Some of it is very old fanon so that’s been unable to distinguish unless you’ve read the books recently and subtract nearly 99,9% of things you see on Tumblr (and occasionally the other shitty parts of the fandom like Reddit, IG, Twitter. Although they mostly steal and recycle tumblr stuff oh well. But back to the topic).

The way people treat Annabeth is so strange. She’s either an innocent fluffy smush baby that’s never harmed a fly and all that she wants for Christmas is being Percy’s lapdog or she’s the devil incarnate, broke into your house, killed your parents Batman style, kicked your puppy and didn’t flush the toilet on the way out. I think this is what mostly makes people hate her or the ship Percabeth. And both extremes are wrong and right at the same time? She is multifaceted so both stereotypes are true and untrue and sorta cancel each other out in the same way.

The true reason why people dislike Annabeth is because the stans are doing the most. (The haters as well, don’t get me wrong, but oh boy. Piss of a stan and you’ll know what I mean). That isn’t inherently new. Are you guys old enough to remember the ship wars that have happened cross platform? Perachel vs. Percabeth? Oh boy, oh boy. I saw some kids on tumblr a few months ago trying to infiltrate both tags and start shit (and also fail). The fact that Rachel still gets used as the bitchy (ex) girlfriend in fanfics? It’s 2020 guys. I know this apocalyptic year is far from perfect and over but I think we can let this trope die, right? Right? I thought we’ve established that Rachel is a pretty chill charcter by now… right?

If you posted your stuff on FFN back in 2010-2013 and it wasn’t the typical cutesy Percabeth story (Goode High, the gods read TLT, punk/prep Percabeth, college AU, etc.) people would’ve come for your fucking throat. Not because the story or the narration was shit. But because the pairing wasn’t Annabeth and Percy (in the sense that Annabeth had to be paired with Percy. I mean Percy gets shipped with everyone and their mother but for Annabeth it was strictly Percy. As annoying as this whole Connabeth thing is – the people behind it actually had a point. She never had a different love interest unless it’s a Percy centered story and he goes off dating Athena, Artemis and Zoe at the same time for some odd reason. Yeah, FFN Percy ships are something). Or it wasn’t the action filled canon compliant story or it wasn’t an AU that was popular.

People were really stubborn, snobbish and wanted their stuff in the four five boxes that were the most popular ones and that’s it. People have been bullied off the site in many fandoms, so it’s not a PJO-only thing but it’s still sad that it happened. (Off-note: most of these FFN tropes are still alive and well and thriving on AO3. Don’t be so snobbish and pretend that every piece you’d find there is a holy grail. There’s a lot of trash you have to waddle through. Same with Wattpad, Tumblr or anywhere else where fanfics get posted. Also had this discussion with Annabeth stans. Sigh).

And Tumblr back then? Forget it, wasn’t much better.

That view has sorta changed (at least for people that have been in the fandom for several years or have managed to find a way to navigate through it) but some of the negative sentiment from back in the day has survived. Be it by new fans coming in or from old fans that never let their stance die. The aggression feels differently and somewhat not. (I don’t know if the anon function had been abused that much back in the day. I was an observer not a participant in the fandom).

Crack a joke at Annabeth’s expense (Kal’s famous “Annabeth is a Republican” post or Dee Dee’s and many others “Annabeth has the education of a second grader, chill with the college plans, girlie” stance) and you have people insulting you, making callout posts, unfollowing and blocking you (based on only that? Okay, honey), making aggressive counter-posts, etc. in a minute. If you respond with “It’s a joke, it’s not real” you have a 50/50 chance of either getting blown off or embarrassing them so that they apologize for once.

This isn’t just about jokes. You can make a headcanon that’s not the cozy cute convenient mainstream saga and people would react the same way. Or art piece (no, not including the whole Tannabeth Blackchase shtick done by Viria and others) or fanfics.

People project so much onto the unfinished canvas that is Annabeth Chase that any form of negative sentiment as little as someone not liking her to straight up criticism, regardless of how tiny it may be, seems like an affront. Like an invitation to a fight. Like an insult to them, their character, everything they believe in. Let me state something:

You are NOT Annabeth Chase. Annabeth Chase IS NOT you. Annabeth Chase is NOT real. Her feeling cannot be hurt. Someone criticizing, disliking, joking about her or even insulting her will not bother her. Someone making a statement about her is not an insult to YOU.

Let me repeat that:

Annabeth Chase isn’t real. Annabeth Chase isn’t you.

So think a little before you act? I get it when you’re a kid and new to fandoms or haven’t been up with fan cultures in the past and are back in the scene. But if you’re in your late teens or even older as an adult and you’re unable to understand that you aren’t what you like – you aren’t the extension of a fictional character – I feel incredibly sorry for you. Because that’s just incredibly sad. Someone disliking something you like isn’t an attack of your character. It shows you that you are you and the other person is a human just like you. That they just have different taste. Disliking something you like isn’t a crime, you know? But me feeling sorry for the way some of y’all act won’t mean that that’s even remotely okay. Especially if you’re no longer in the intended audience for PJO age wise and should know better.

This isn’t a “white stans” only thing. I’ve seen and witnessed firsthand how people of color, mainly women of color, act the same or not even worse when it comes to her character. People have projected their problems and real-life occurring events into her character (I’m sure that she isn’t the only character nor that this is the only fandom where this is happening) and in some cases like I’ve said cannot separate their own personality from the fictional world. Fights with woc happened because of Annabeth fucking Chase. So many things have happened in the fandom the past few months, mostly due to people being forced staying at home because of the quarantine but I’d say it’s 10% on quarantine and 90% on people for acting up like this.

So here’s a little story: There was the act of Riordan blowing the fandom up because of his own stupidity and being unable to apologize for his mischaracterization and lack of research (the whole Piper fiasco) back in June (?) and admits the upset fandom, people on Twitter, Tumblr and Discord legit thought that none of that mattered and that the outcry was destroying Annabeth Chase’s birthday. That’s right. People thought that Annabeth Chase’s non-existing birthday because she’s a fictional character had a higher priority than the rupture and prevalent racism in the fandom. Okay. This isn’t a great look, Annabeth stans. And this of course pissed a lot of people off. I made a post about it and someone not only berated three other people on said post but no, we had a mighty argument which had disrupted many friendships in our circle which haven’t recovered until this very day. We both had our parts in it and no one is innocent. But the cause of this still remains Annabeth Chase or how people prioritize her non-existing well-being. Anyway. I’m getting agitated just thinking about it.

Let’s go back to the characterization thing with Annabeth. Let me remind you:

Annabeth Chase is an asshole. There I’ve said it in a post ages ago (too lazy to look it up, sorry) and I’ll say it again. And that’s not me insulting her. That’s me actually loving that about her. Annabeth is one of the very few unapologetic female characters that really showed all young readers across the world that you can be a girl, a badass, smart, strong, standing up for yourself and what you believe in. You don’t have to be nice. You don’t have to hide your feelings. You don’t need a man in all cases but it’s also okay to accept help and defeat.

A large reason why I think she’s an incredibly important character in children’s literature/YA because many other novels (mostly (sadly)) have the “Oh, I’m a white skinny dark-haired girl that likes unconventional things like READING. I’m not like the other girls, that take care of themselves and pamper themselves by enjoying shopping and wearing make-up. No, I’d rather be one of the boys but a sweet cute little boy and not the jock fuck that drank vodka shots out of a filthy shoe once. Despite me calling myself hideous every man in a 10-kilometer radius falls in love with me and tells me I’m oh so sexy and by the way I’m only 16 years old” shit going on for no goddamn reason.

Yes, I do blame Twilight for this mostly in recent years, but this trope isn’t by any means knew. Pretty sure that you could even use classics as Pride and Prejudice and dissect them in the same manner (Bold statement: Lizzy Bennet is the OG Bella Swan. There. Go fight somewhere in the corner, people). The new wave of YA focuses on girls belittling themselves and only starting to believe in themselves because someone else (mostly the male love interest) tells them they’re worth it. And these books hit the mainstream because they’re incredibly bland and picture perfect white.

With Annabeth it’s different. She shows up for the job and is done with it. (Brie Larson would probably be the perfect in real life version of her. You either like or dislike her. Or you really don’t care). That is what is so refreshing about her. Her unapologetic nature. Can it be off-putting? Yes. Is it annoying? Yes! Hell, every time I read The Lightning Thief, I want to rip her goddamn head off. And it’s just so well written. Her shift from mistrusting Percy but secretly still believing in him to her opening up. Wow, Riordan did something right there.

Annabeth Chase isn’t a young character. She has existed along with PJO for 15 years. She’s on her way to the second decade. I’m pretty sure that with the success of Percy Jackson (and Harry Potter) many lives have been warped and shaped.

But when I say the problem lies mostly in the fandom, it doesn’t mean that Riordan’s completely innocent. The only problem that I have with Annabeth lies not truly with her but the fact that Riordan is only able to produce three variations of female characters:

The sweetheart (Hazel, Silena, Calypso, Hestia)

The strong feminist (Annabeth, Piper, Thalia, Reyna, Artemis)

The bitch (Drew, nearly every female goddess in the goddamn Riordanverse next to every female monster)

And these female characters only know three endings:

End up married with a mortgage, three kids, two dogs and a cat somewhere in Connecticut by the age of twelve

Get dumped into the hunt

Chill on Mount Olympus and only come down to be a nuisance and/or give a cryptic message before going back and doing a godly rave party or something

We know Annabeth as the badass strong female first (or the bitchy character we’re supposed to actually like. Choose your approach), the blueprint so to speak, so some of the other characters feel almost pale in comparison and almost not needed? Doesn’t mean that other characters can’t behave similarly, but it feels kind of redundant especially if their character arcs end in a rather anticlimactic way (Thalia, Reyna). The new additions are the much needed woc as the main story with PJO was inherently white (anyway stan black!Percy and Grover, folks). So it’s not to bash on the new characters, it’s more Riordan’s fault more than anything.

Since Riordan only knows three female character arcs it feels like he tried to copy the formula several ways with different nuances. Some more or less successful. This is where fandom actually comes in handy and helps create more distinguished and fleshed out characters in form of headcanons or fanfiction.

But even in these cases people still make it about Annabeth when it’s time for characters of colors to shine. Remember that whole spiel and discussion that broke out when people (Kal, diver-up, Caitlyn, Bee, reynaisalesbian, etc.) joked about or criticized that Annabeth thinks that she’s having it harder because she’s a blonde? In front of Hazel and Piper? If she would’ve been a real person that’s an invitation for getting decked. And then all hell broke loose because Annabeth stans couldn’t accept the fact that in the real world and/or in fictional worlds the woc/coc have it harder? That the white woman wasn’t the victim that needed the coddling? Yeah, that was mad pathetic.

I hope you people get my point?

Well fuck. I wrote so many things and have the feeling I’ve said nothing. Anyway, I hope I made sense. This is way too long.

TLDR: Chill about Annabeth please. She’s an important character but that doesn’t mean that everyone has to like her, regardless of being a character in the books or a reader/fan of PJO in real life. She isn’t nice or a sweetheart all the time. She also isn’t the monstrous asshole that some try to make out of her.

Peace out.

#Mel answers #pjo #percy jackson #Annabeth chase #percy jackson and the olympians #Percabeth #pjo Meta #Heroes of olympus #hoo #trials of apollo #toa #hazel levesque #piper mclean #reyna avila ramirez arellano #rachel elizabeth dare #pjo fandom #coc #rick riordan #riordanverse

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writing-of-a-british-bitch · 3 years

Text

Blame Me - Chapter 1

Fandom: The Walking Dead

Specified gender: Female

Word Count: 4.3K

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x reader,

TW: canon typical violence, canon divergence, gore, mention of past major character death, zombies, a lot of time skips

Genre: Horror ig?

Series: Blame Me

Requests: CLOSED

Masterlist

A/N: (Y/N) isn’t in this chapter much but she will be soon! This is my first time writing for the walking dead, so I know Daryl is probably out of character. Constructive criticism is always appreciated :) Send me a DM or an ask if you want to be tagged! Enjoy!

When Daryl found out about what they'd done to Merle on that rooftop - left him for dead- he was livid. Merle was no angel, that was for damn sure, but that was still his brother, and they just left him there. And when they got there, and Merle was gone, with nothing left but a hand he'd had to hack off himself? It felt like his world was crashing around him. He couldn't do this. Not again. Then this new sheriff asshole had the nerve to tell him to calm down. Fuck that. He couldn't lose his brother, not him too. But Daryl couldn't seem to catch a break, and suddenly they'd lost half their camp, taken a failed trip to the CDC (that almost cost them their lives - again), and Sophia had gone missing. He was sick and fucking tired of losing people. Maybe that's why he was so hellbent on finding a little girl that wasn't even his. They'd set up a little camp on the edge of some old guy called Hershel's farm, but Daryl didn't want to get too close. He had this awful feeling creeping up his spine, something was gonna go wrong. Someone was gonna die. He couldn't take the blame again. So he stayed away. Set up his own tent, his own fire, Merle's bike parked up against a tree, animals on a line. Just like the old hunting trips he used to take with his brother. Sometimes she'd come, but it wasn't her thing. She'd been keeping him company so far. Even if she wasn't really here. Daryl was so focused on skinning a squirrel that he didn't even hear Carol creeping over. She still had remnants of tears tracked down her face, but they'd been long dried.

"Daryl?" Carol's meek voice broke through the silence, and Daryl looked up briefly a grunt of recognition leaving his throat. She sat down next to him on the log he was perched on "Thank you for everything you've done for Sophia. Her own daddy would have never done the same."

She'd thanked him twice already. He found her doll, not Sophia. As much as he wishes he had. Damn near died for it too, since the throbbing pain in his side liked to remind him

"Only found her doll," He mumbled, glancing over quickly. Carol nodded and gave him a small smile.

"Well, that's just one step closer isn't it?" She replied but she got no response except the famous Dixon stare. He wasn't much of a talker. He was just glad she understood that. They sat there for a few minutes, watching the fire, surrounded by the comfortable silence until Carol looked over to watch as Daryl skinned another squirrel, and a little glimmer on his hand caught her eye. "Hey, what's that?"

"What're you talkin' 'bout?" He huffed out, putting the squirrel to one side, and stabbing the knife into the log beside him, finally giving her the proper response she'd been asking for. Carol reached out and took Daryl's hand, examining it, ignoring the blood on his hands. He'd be surprised if she wasn't used to it by now. But she was right. On his ring finger was a silver band. Just plain and simple. Very Daryl. He snatched his hand back the second he realised what she was talking about. Carol was grinning at him, a tender look in her eyes. God damn that woman for being so observant. Though truly, they'd been in the same group for months and none of them ever noticed, so how observant could she really be? "Shut up."

"You're married?" Carol still had that grin on her face, and though her look was tender, there was a hint of sadness in her eyes. His girl wasn't with him. And while he hadn't fully accepted the fact she could be dead, he had accepted the fact that his chances of ever seeing her again were slim. Especially since it'd been so long.

"Worn ma ring whole time and you ain't never noticed?" Daryl shot back, more defensive than he'd like to have been. He didn't like being snappy with Carol, but, as anyone would have assumed, the topic was a touchy one.

"You and Merle were always off somewhere, or sitting miles away from us. Can't blame me for that," She replied, and to be fair, she wasn't exactly wrong. There was a pregnant pause, where Carol was trying to figure out what she should say. Could he even tell her? He didn't want no pity, but damn, talking about his girl, the memories? Talking to someone who wasn't Merle about her. Maybe it'd be nice. Or maybe not. "What happened to her?"

There was that silence again. The pause weighed heavy on both of them. Daryl took a deep breath and looked over at her. Fuck it. If there was anyone he could tell, anyone he could trust, it was Carol.

"Weren't nothin' bad. Didn't feel it then. Merle and me, we was goin' on 'nother huntin' trip. Ma girl only came sometimes. Weren't her thing. She was goin' to visit her ma, gave me this damn thang," He picked up a battery-powered video recorder from by his foot that Carol hadn't even seen. Yeah, maybe he was wrong about the whole observant thing. The corner of his lips twitched upwards as he opened it. "Said, 'just so you don't forget me'. I told her we'd only be gone two weeks," his fingers fiddled with the buttons, and he grew quiet, clicking onto one of the videos, but not playing yet. "Dead started risin' a week later. The ring and these dumb videos are all I have left right now."

Carol watched him as he talked, seeing the blank expression on his face warp into sadness, as he played with the video recorder, the way his eyes flickered over to his ring every now and again. He didn't think he'd been this vulnerable since he'd last seen his girl.

"She must have been really special to put up with someone like you," She teased, trying to make him a little more comfortable, nudging his shoulder. He smirked, finally looking away from the recorder.

"Yeah, she was," Daryl stated simply, before pressing play on the video.

"The hell you doin', woman?" Daryl's gruff voice sounded from behind the camera, as it spun around to reveal Daryl and a girl, maybe a year younger than him, with (H/C) loose and wild, as she danced around a kitchen. There was loud laughter behind the camera, Merle had been a dick when he found the recorder and kept filming them (he knew Daryl hated it). Lord knows he was thanking that asshole for filming it now. Merle said something in his southern drawl that Carol couldn't quite understand, but by the scowl that appeared on Daryl's face in the video, he clearly heard it. The girl beside him let out a chuckle and suddenly launched at Daryl, clinging to his arm as she bounced on her toes. Daryl lowered his glare to her, but Carol saw his eyes soften slightly. Merle spun the camera around to face him and made some raucous comment about christening the new house while he was away before the camera spun back around. It ended a second later, with Daryl swearing at Merle and using his hand to block the camera, and the girl let out a loud laugh.

Carol was smiling at the camera until she looked over at Daryl and saw a hardened look on his face. Damn those emotions of his.

"What was her name?" She whispered, scared if she spoke too loud, he'd crack.

"(Y/N)" were Daryl's final words, before he picked up the recorder, crossbow, his knife and his half skinned squirrel and moved into his tent, zipping it behind it.

His girl always knew what to do. Knew how to help. She was a leader, even if she liked to deny it. She'd know exactly what to do. Shane was a damn idiot, and Daryl knew she would have dealt with him already, rather than fucking about as Rick had. When Shane threw the barn doors open, letting all them damn walkers out, despite the whole groups' protests, he knew right there that his girl would have dealt with him. And when Sophia came trailing out, pale and cold, white-eyed, dirty with a bloody chunk missing from her shoulder, she would have known exactly what to do. But instead, he was the one catching Carol and watching as Rick put a bullet between her eyes. Daryl's girl would have known exactly what to do. But she wasn't there. As much as he wished she was. He was the one who comforted Carol and tried to help. But, equally, he was also the one who threw blame in her face and screamed at her. She didn't deserve that. No way in hell. But, he didn't know what to do. His girl would've.

"There ain't nothing out here but mosquitoes and ants," They'd only left Rick, Glenn and Maggie two hours ago, but Daryl was already starting to question his decision. He forgot how much his brother liked to run his mouth, and his hunger didn't help calm the situation much either.

"Patience, little brother. Sooner or later, a squirrel is bound to scurry across your path," Merle responded, stood over by the tree to have a piss.

"Even so, that ain't much food," Daryl kept his eyes trained on his surroundings. There'd been more than a few walkers sneaking up on them recently, and he was starting to get paranoid that it was the beginning of a herd.

"More than nothing," That asshole really have to choose now to go all quiet? All his damn brother did was talk.

"I'd have better luck going through one of them houses we passed back on the turnoff," Daryl observed, looking over in the direction of the turnoff as Merle zipped himself up and walked over. He had that shit-eating, condescending look on his face. Great.

"Is that what your new friends taught you? Hmm? How to loot for booty? You gotten real quiet since y'all left me on that dead infested rooftop in Atlanta. Them prison pussies soften you up?" Merle teased, looking over at his little brother with an amused look in his eyes. Daryl just snarled slightly, looking back in the direction of the street. "Oh, cmon now, can't be givin' ol' Merle the cold shoulder after all the shit we just went through."

"Man, fuck off," Daryl hissed back, glaring up at his brother. His side was throbbing with what he suspected was a broken rib, or at the very least bruised, after Merle's kicking and punching back in the arena. Merle narrowed his eyes in response, walking over and giving Daryl a light shove.

"What? Ya forget about how I took care of ya? Now ya spent some time with Officer Friendly and you're suddenly too good for ya brother?" He snapped, raising his eyebrows. Daryl huffed and straightened his back.

"Just lay off, Merle. There are walkers crawlin' 'round and ya runnin' ya mouth like a damn fool," he shot back, making a point to keep his voice low. Merle only let out one of his loud raucous laughs, causing Daryl to advance quickly.

"Easy, little brother. Ya lookin' like ya might pop a vein if ya keep gettin' pissed like that," Daryl didn't say anything, just stared back at him, the famous Dixon glare returning. "It's the Dixon's back together again, ain't it a good thang?"

"Not all the Dixons," The younger Dixon grumbled, pulling his crossbow up as a familiar growling filled the air, and a walker stumbled out from behind a tree. A quick pull of the trigger and the damn thing was on the floor, bolt between his eyes. Merle watched him for a second, watched the flash of anger and sadness in his eyes.

"Ya ever find 'er?" He asked quietly, as his brother walked over and pulled the bolt from the fuckers head. Daryl glanced up at him, holding his gaze for a minute before starting to walk again.

"Man, we've been at it for hours. Why don't we find a stream, try to look for some fish?"

"I think you're just trying to lead me back to the road, man. Get me over to that prison," Merle scoffed. Damn it. He knew his brother'd put up a fight but he didn't think he'd pick it up so quickly. Then again, his brother was an idiot, but he wasn't stupid.

"They got shelter. Food. A pot to piss in. Might not be a bad idea," Yeah, and the rest of his family. And his video recorder.

"If ya gonna try and lead me back to that prison, you could at least answer my damn question, baby brother," Merle stated, noticing how Daryl's shoulders tensed slightly. There was silence, apart from the occasional rustling of trees, which made the brothers look around, never letting their guard down despite the conversation.

"Naw. She was up in South Carolina before these bastards starting comin'. Knew I weren't gonna find her here. Doubt she came back," Was his response, but apparently, that was enough for Merle. For now at least.

"C'mon let's go hook some fish," And with that Merle was steaming ahead, leaving Daryl in place. He let out a sigh and spat on the ground before trailing after the elder Dixon.

But of course, they had to save someone else's asses, nearly getting themselves killed in the process. And of course, Merle wanted to rob this poor family. They had a baby for Christ's sake! "The shit you doing, pointing that thing at me?" Merle raged, once they got a good distance from the group they'd just rescued.

"They were scared, man," Daryl reasoned, narrowing his eyes for what felt like the millionth time.

"They were rude is what they were. Rude and they owed us a token of gratitude," God, if his girl were here, she would have knocked his teeth out by now. She loved Merle and cared about him, but they clashed heads more than he and Daryl did. And damn that was a high number.

"They didn't owe us nothing," he shot back, looking back in that direction, even though the red car the group had been in were long gone

"You helpin' people out of the goodness of your heart? Even though you might die doing it? Is that something your Sheriff Rick taught you?" Merle said with a cold laugh, interrupted halfway through with Daryl's comment of "There was a baby!". Merle couldn't help but think that his brother had gone soft. "Oh, otherwise you would have just left them to the biters, then"

"Man, I went back for you. You weren't there. I didn't cut off your hand, neither. You did that. Way before they locked you up on that roof. You asked for it!"

"You know-- you know what's funny to me? You and Sheriff Rick are like this now. Right?" Merle crossed his fingers in front of Daryl's face, only aggravating the hunter further. " I bet you a penny and a fiddle of gold that you never told him that we were planning on robbing that camp blind. I told you that that woman had made you soft. Hell, ya got married just ta make her happy. Dixons don't need no one but each other!"

"Ya leave ma girl out of this, ya hear? Besides, it didn't happen," Daryl growled, voice dangerously low to the point that even Merle knew he truly should drop his sister-in-law out of the discussion.

"Yeah, it didn't 'cause I wasn't there to help you."

"What, like when we were kids, huh? Who left who then?" Daryl hadn't really meant to say it. He hadn't. But once it was out, the air set on fire, and both brothers were seeing red.

"What? Huh? Is that why I lost my hand?"Merle retaliated, pointing and getting right into Daryl's face, knowing how much it got under his skin.

"You lost your hand 'cause you're a simpleminded piece of shit!" Daryl turned his back, moving to pick up his backpack from the floor when Merle lunged forward, gripping the fabric off his shoulders.

"Yeah? You don't know-!" A sharp tug, and a loud rip and Merle's words caught in his throat. Silence filled the air, as the raised and discoloured markings down Daryl's back presented themselves to the world. Some of them were from hunts, or from accidents in the apocalypse, but some, Merle recognised them too damn well from his own time spent with their daddy. Once Daryl had fully clocked what had just happened, he pulled the shirt back up as much as he could and slung his bag over the top. That was it. He'd had enough. " I- I didn't know he was-"

"Yeah, he did. He did the same to you. That's why ya left first," Daryl answered sharply, not turning back to look at him. Merle just shook his head.

"I had to, man. I would have killed him otherwise," Daryl only chuckled humourlessly, and set off in the opposite direction, only turning back when Merle added, "Where you going?"

"Back where I belong," Was Daryl's reply, not even noticing he'd started to spin his ring with his thumb at his side. Old habits.

"I can't go with you. I tried to kill that black bitch. Damn near killed the Chinese kid," Merle tried to reason, but Daryl could only scoff in response. Classic Merle.

"He's Korean," He stated simply.

"Whatever. Doesn't matter, man. I just can't go with you, "Merle pulled a face, and for a split second, Daryl felt guilty. But he was an asshole. If he decided to come, then so be it, but if he decided to stay behind, good riddance.

"You know, I may be the one walking away... but you're the one that's leaving- again."

"What's goin' on that brain baby brother?" Merle asked, leaning in the doorway to the cellblock, slightly alarmed to be sat quietly at the top of the stairway, where his sleeping bag was, spaced out. Normally, he'd be pacing or cleaning that stupid crossbow for the thousandth time. But no, he was dead still. Dead quiet. The others were out and about. Most of them were in the yard, clearing out the walkers that Axel had stupidly let in when he opened the gate. Michonne, Rick and Carl had gone out on a run to their home town for weapons against the governor fucker. And Daryl, Merle and Little Asskicker (who Daryl had found out had been named Judith, but Little Asskicker seemed more appropriate) had been left alone in the cellblock. Rick trusted Daryl enough to keep her safe from Merle.

"Ya really think she made me soft?" Daryl pondered out loud, holding Little Asskicker close to him, as he started rocking her slightly. Merle laughed, waving his metal attachment around dramatically.

"This place's 'bout to go crashin' to the ground, and you're thinkin' about your lady?"Merle wasn't a man of affection, Daryl knew that pretty well, but he also knew when he was deflecting. Merle talked about (Y/N) sure, but only briefly. Since the brothers and his girl got separated in the beginning, they both steered clear of long conversations about her. Daryl just stared Merle down, until he let out a huff, and took a few slow steps into the cellblock. "She made ya soft, ain't gonna lie ta ya. Even you can't deny that, little brother. Never said it was an entirely bad thing."

"She made me better. Never really know what she saw in me, but whatever it was, I'm glad she did," Daryl's lips twitched upwards, as he looked down at Little Asskicker. His girl would love her. She'd love Carl too. Hell, she would love everyone. She would've kept things calm.

"Look, I'm an old redneck asshole, but that girl o' yours is the best damn thing that ever happened to ya. Ya ever find her again, you don't let her go, hear me?" He didn't miss the commanding tone in Merle's voice and part of him wanted to laugh at it. Been a long time since he'd heard that tone. Daryl just nodded. "Ya still got that video recorder witcha?"

Daryl nodded, before jerking his head towards the little pile of stuff besides his sleeping bag. Merle climbed past him, careful not to knock the baby, and picked it up. He sat next to his brother, and for a second it was awkward. They hadn't been this close in years. Not like this. But when Merle opened up the camera and clicked on one of the videos, the awkwardness dissipated.

It took a second for the camera to come into focus, as the blazing Georgia sun reflected off the lens. Once it came into focus, Merle was once again filming the couple. Daryl and (Y/N) were stood in a little lake and both of them were just washing dirt and dried animal blood from their arms and legs, chatting too quietly for the camera to pick up. Merle mumbled something behind the camera about "being too fuckin' absorbed in their own world", when suddenly a laughter-filled scream tore through the peace, as Daryl sent a massive splash in (Y/N)'s direction. She was giggling but giving him a playful glare, the famous Dixon glare. He let out a loud laugh as she tried to push him into the water with little success, until he stepped back and lost his footing, pulling them both under the water. The camera shook as Merle let out a roar of a laugh, stumbling forward towards the water, as the pair came up, both sat on their asses in the shallow water. (Y/N) looked over to Merle, beaming with that smile that made Daryl's heartache, but flipped him the bird when she realised he was filming, shouting "asshole" at him. Daryl just chuckled and pulled her into him, no longer giving a shit about the camera, and kissed her, which they were both smiling into. Merle then said something childish like "horny kids" or something before the video ended, with Daryl and (Y/N)'s foreheads pressed together.

"She's something special ain't she?" Daryl said, through a voice that was thicker than he wished it to be, looking down at Little Asskicker with a sad smile.

"Hell yeah, she was."

Daryl didn't know how much more he could take. The prison had fallen, and they'd taken Beth. He swore he'd protect her. Swore to himself, swore to the memory of Hershel, swore to Maggie. And he still lost her. And when the group of assholes found him sat in the middle of the street, practically walker bait, he was starting to get desperate. He'd do almost anything at this point, he was so lost. His brother was gone now too. He couldn't even rely on that asshole. The one and only thing he'd been able to grab to remember his family was that fucking video recorder. But he'd found Rick, Carl, Michonne. And while he wished he could've found everyone, he was more than happy to have found the kid most of all. Though, he couldn't deny the anguish that filled him when he saw no sign of Little Asskicker and a sombre look on their faces when he asked I think it was safe to say that Rick was going off the deep end again. The man ripped a guys jugular out with his fucking teeth! After everything, Daryl honestly couldn't blame him, but last time Carl nearly lost who he was because of it. That couldn't happen again. Despite it all, they kept walking, and walking and walking, along the train tracks to this place Terminus. 'Sanctuary for all'. Somehow he found that hard to believe. But maybe he would be surprised. Maybe it would be a sanctuary. Maybe they could take a break for once. Yeah. As far as Daryl was concerned, it wasn't damn likely.

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