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#especially since she first didn't know if she wanted kids
dariwrites03 · 3 days
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Fucked up Monday. 2/3
Part 1: https://www.tumblr.com/daribertduck/748615753776955392/fucked-up-monday
A/n: Before you guys kill me; I’m already writing part 3. don’t you worry it’s coming your way. Please comment & repost, it’s giving me much motivation!
Summary: After Ellie kissed you on Patrol, everything was turning weird, you’re full of guilt and other feelings... What happens when your life turns from agonizing to better to so much worse? And why exactly can a few letters change everything?
Warnings: none? I think?
Taglist: @bready101 @lia-winther @liciapeonia @darkerstarsstuff @patricks-fabulous-face ( I tagged some people from my comments, hope that’s alright)
-5700k words
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„And I thought I was weird for feeling uncomfortable at that, you know? They broke up, it's not really his place to say anything like that especially after telling Dina he's over her anyways" You're best friend said, finishing up her explanation of yesterdays event with Dina and Jesse. He found the two of them smoking near a warehouse and from what you made out of Ellie's explanation, he wasn't too happy to see them sitting so close.
You and Ellie were having another movie night, those happen pretty often. ( Every Wednesday, to be exact.) sitting on the old sofa in your living room with you're legs resting on hers. „Well, it's still fresh. Don't think he's jealous of the two of you spending lots of time together but maybe it's just a weird feeling seeing her with someone else, though there's absolutely nothing between you and Dina" you replied, chuckling at the thought of Jesse being all jealous over nothing. You rested your head back against the many sofa pillows, enjoying the comfy half sitting half laying position you're in. „Yeah.. totally" Ellie mumbled, looking down at her hands resting on top of you ankles, shifting uncomfortably. Knowing Ellie probably better than anyone else, you knew right away that something seems off.
„Wait.." you said,  sensing the weird vibe from you're best friend. „There is nothing between you two, right?" you said, lifting you're upper body into a more sitting posture. „Ellie?" you said her name as you're so called friend didn't answer right away. You felt you're heart stink, not really being sure of what's going on exactly. „uhm.. I don't wanna talk about it?" she said, looking at you with an apologetic look, making it sound more like a question than an real steady answer. „Hell no, remember our ‚no lying rule'?" you said. „Cmon we made that rule as we were 15, that's childish." she said while caressing through her hair, suddenly looking all exhausted. „It wasn't childish when I had my first kiss and didn't want to talk about it" You mentioned. Remembering the night you ran about 2 miles to Ellie's house after spending the afternoon with some other kids in the pub, playing some stupid games. After you kissed Sophia as you're truth or dare quest you took of running, straight into the arms of the brown haired girl who couldn't participate that nights event due to a cold. Ellie knew something must've happened and as you really didn't want to talk about it, embarrassed by the fact that everyone could probably tell you never kissed anyone ever before, Ellie set up a rule. *„Let's promise to always be honest, life is too fucked up to screw it up with lies"* you knew she was right and since that night you tried to always be honest to each other.
„Cmon that's totally different!" Ellie defended herself, crossing her arms above her chest. „Jesus, Williams, answer the fucking question and stop being difficult" you said with a light voice, feeling like Ellie was some deer that takes of running as soon as you're tone was slightly off. „I mean, there is nothing between me and Dina.. so" she explained and you could tell that She was satisfied with her answer since her shoulders became less tense. „But you wish there was?" you asked, not able to look at Ellie you decided to give you're hands something to do, grabbing the soda can you had standing infront of you at the table. „I.. yeah, I guess? Okay. Who am I kidding" she said, her hands running over her face. She revealed a slight laugh. „Oh god" she groaned, now fully blushing like a 13 year old teenager. „Yeah, yeah I do like her. Fuck, this is the first time admitting it out loud" she said.
You took a sip from you're soda, the carbonic acid being long gone since you opened the can almost 2 hours ago, giving you a second or two to continue to stay silent. Having the opportunity to ignore the trouble of you're mind right now
The Jealousy building up inside of you made you think like you're going all crazy, fighting against the urge to scream inside a pillow you took that energy elsewhere. „okay, good for you" you said, taking another sip from the drink, hoping to put out the fire building up in you're chest. Ellie looked at you saying „it's not weird, right? Falling for her?" you looked at her again, considering of telling her what you really think. You consider of telling her that's it's not weird, but you don't like it either. No , you hate it. You hate it so much because you want Ellie to fall for you instead of her.
But you didn't say that. Instead you betrayed your 15 year old self by lying to Ellie and yourself. 
It's been three months, 4 days and 2,5 Hours without a word from her. 
 Ever since then , You are entangled in the delicate web of grief for what felt like for two people, where the threads of loss and longing weave intricate patterns within your heart. Two souls, distinct yet equally significant, find their place in the chambers of your being.
Dylan, now resting six feet under, has embarked on a journey beyond the veil. His earthly vessel lies cradled by the soil, while his essence pirouettes among the constellations. The wasteland of the unknown stretches before him—And then there's your best friend, a constellation of memories and shared secrets. But her presence has become elusive, slipping through your fingers like sand. She chooses silence—a withdrawal that echoes louder than any spoken words. And you tried. Oh, how you tried to get her to speak—the silent symphony of longing, the unspoken words that hung in the air like dew-kissed spider silk. Your gaze, a language of its own, whispered secrets that transcended mere sentences. But she? She met your offerings with silence—a void that echoed louder than any spoken syllable. She stopped coming over. The threshold of your space became a chasm, a bridge severed by unspoken truths. The door, once a portal to laughter and whispered confidences, now stood closed. The only ever time you got to see her, to give yourself the inner peace of her being okay, was on the weekly parol meetings. She attended, her presence a fragile thread connecting you both. But she mastered the art of departure—slipping away before your eyes could catch hers. The opposite direction became her refuge, a path untrodden by your footsteps.
Talking wasn't what Ellie needed. You sensed it, that unspoken ache in the air—the need for silence, for space. So you stepped back, honoring the boundaries she drew around her heart. But your longing couldnt be unoticed by you any longer so after three weeks, you started writing to her. Youre desperation spilled over, ink bleeding onto paper.  You became a clandestine messenger, slipping perfumed notes into the small slit of her mailbox. Each letter carried a piece of your soul—a plea, a confession, a desperate whisper.  It lingered on your fingertips, a bridge between worlds. And as you pressed those letters into the darkness, you imagined her fingers brushing against them. Would she feel the urgency? Would she hear your silent screams for her friendship?  Handwritten letters—those delicate vessels of ink and paper—weave memories that transcend mere words. Each stroke of the pen, each carefully crafted sentence, carries a piece of the you in them. The intimacy lies not only in the content but also in the act of creation itself. You decided to write her if shes unable to talk, you wanted to give her the space she needed, you tried to be as understanding as you could. But one unanswered letter turned into two, three, four. You stopped putting them into her mailbox after five. 
Now, you're trying to ignore the pain in your heart every time you wake up. Ellie's childish behavior hasn't stopped you from living your life. Instead, you channel your anger and sleepless nights into your work, making each patrol count. Working alongside Jesse has become a bright spot—a fun experience you eagerly anticipate. It's not the same as those moments outside the gates with Ellie, but it's different in a way that doesn't breed resentment.
You and Jesse share a closeness that predates his separation from Dina. The heartbreak they both faced has left its mark, and you find solace in each other's company. Jesse isn't thrilled about the situation either—the breakup and lingering jealousy still gnaw at him. On that second day of patrol together, he broaches the awkward topic between you and Ellie. "So, you gonna tell me what happened or not?" Jesse's voice cut through the quiet of the abandoned checkpoint. He pulled a sandwich from his backpack, the crinkling of the wrapper echoing in the dim light. The two of you sat there, weary from the day's patrol, the weight of your assigned route still clinging to your bones. Nightfall had descended too swiftly, and the dangers of this post-apocalyptic world made it impossible to venture home safely after dark. You shifted uncomfortably on the hard ground, the rough edges of the old checkpoint digging into your back. The makeshift campsite was a stark reminder of the life you now led—constantly on the move, always vigilant. Jesse's eyes bore into yours, waiting for an answer.
"Don't really know what's there to say, to be honest," you replied, your fingers tracing the edges of the food you'd prepared hours ago. The silence now haning between the two of you wasnt uncomftable,punctuated by the distant howl of a lone infected.  "Maybe explain why we're now patrol partners? I thought you and Ellie made such a good team. Not that I'm complaining, though—we're badass too. Just wondering why you suddenly decided that Ellie wasn't good enough anymore," Jesse's voice cut through the dimly lit space of the makeshift camp. He lay down on the sleeping bag, using his right arm as a makeshift pillow, his gaze fixed on you. The flicker of confusion danced through the forest of your mind as you replayed Jesse's last words.
"What? I didn't decide that," you replied, studying your friend's posture as he took a bite of his cheese sandwich. "I asked Dina what happened earlier today." Jesse mumbled, his mouth still half full. "Ellie told her it was you who decided to change partners. Don't get me wrong—I feel honored to be your new partner in crime. I was just curious about what happened." - ''the fuck?'' You said more to yourself than him. ''Thats so fucked up..'' -"Okay, c'mon, I need the drama. Please explain to me like everything. Consider me one of your gossip girls," Jesse quipped, his unseriousness bringing a smile to your face. You took another bite of your food, savoring the dry bread as you gathered your thoughts. Trusting Jesse, you decided it wasn't a bad idea to share what had transpired between you and Ellie. So, with a deep breath, you began recounting the events of your last patrol with her. Jesse leans in, eyes wide with curiosity. His sandwich forgotten, he hangs on every word as you recount the events of that fateful patrol with Ellie. The tension, the unspoken words, the ache in your chest—it all spills out, painting a vivid picture of the fractured bond between you and the girl who once felt like your world.
"Damn," Jesse mutters, running a hand through his hair. "That's heavy stuff." His gaze lingers on your face, searching for answers. "You think she'll come around?'' You shrug, the weight of uncertainty settling on your shoulders. ''Dont think so, I think she regrets even kissing me. She has dina now, dont think that she'll need me anymore.'' Your gaze drifts down to your wrist, where the matching bracelet still clings—a fragile thread connecting you to Ellie. You wonder if she wears hers. Jesse, now leading forward, nudges your shoulder playfully. "Well, partner," he says, "we'll keep kicking ass out here. Fuck them both".
After that night, you felt like Jesse and you were attached at the hip. Somehow, you both helped each other navigate the jagged terrain of heartbreak, spending time together and letting the hours slip away. Being friends with Jesse had its perks. He acted as a bridge to Ellie, still maintaining a sort of friendship with Dina, getting slim updates from her. Through Jesse, you received updates about Ellie—whether she was safe, whether she'd eaten enough.
But it wasn't the same. Those impersonal updates couldn't replace the warmth of setting eyes on Ellie, hearing her voice—the cadence of her laughter, the way she'd say your name. You missed the little things, the mundane details that had once woven your lives together. But over the time you started to accept the turn of events, knowing you cannot force Friendship on somebody.
You started to distract yourself outside of work, whether it was with Jesse or... Sophia. After that encounter where Maria broke the news to you about Ellie changing everything, you did the only thing you knew you were really good at: You ran off.
Weirdly enough, two weeks after that pivotal moment and your  patrols with Jesse as your new partner, a knock on your door interrupted your vegetable-cutting session in the small kitchen. As you walked toward the door, a million possibilities raced through your mind. Was it Ellie, knocking on the wood on a late rainy afternoon? Or perhaps Jesse, wanting to talk? Dina? Or maybe Joel, coming all the way to the comfort of your four walls to deliver news about his beloved Ellie being hurt.
Secretly, you wished it was Ellie. So you ran a hand through your hair, glancing into the small mirror hanging near the door to check yourself out before opening the squeaky wood.  But on the other side stood Sophia, holding a plate covered in aluminum foil.  "Uhm... hey," she said, her cheeks flushed with red. "I've made some cake—way too much to eat all by myself. I wanted to share it. If, um, you want to, of course. It's chocolate cake." Her words tumbled out in a rush, and you sensed her nervousness. A Small smile spread across your face as you stepped aside, making space for her to enter the house. "That's too kind," you replied. "You've got impeccable timing. I just finished dinner—perfect time for dessert. Come inside." You didn't mention the comforting fact that her house was all the way across town, meaning she'd walked quite a distance just to bring you cake. Nor did you acknowledge that it was common knowledge that Sophia is allergic to Chocolate but it was your favorite.
One hour with Sophia turned into two, and before you knew it, the entire afternoon was filled with your laughter. She ended up staying over, making your house feel less empty. Since Dylan's passing, sleep had eluded you. Without Ellie by your side, it felt impossible to quiet your mind. Sophia changed that somewhat, but it didn't feel the same. Perhaps your own mind betrayed you, clouding your thoughts about her presence. You didn't want her to leave, yet you didn't necessarily want her to stay either. The universe seemed to decide for you, as the strawberry-blonde girl drifted off to sleep on your sofa after what felt like an eternity of talking.
You settled into your gray armchair, gently covering her thin body with your favorite blanket—the same one Ellie used to take whenever she stayed over. The entire night, you found yourself comparing Sophia to Ellie—the way she moved, the cadence of her voice, the sparkle in her eyes when she spoke about her interests. It wasn't a good thing, you must admit. Sophia is a nice girl, but you never really considered her a potential friend, especially since you both shared your first kisses with each other. After that, things got weird, and you both grew up, walking different paths.
Yet now, here she was—baking you cakes, making you laugh, and filling the void left by Ellie. The universe had a funny way of intertwining lives, even when hearts were tangled in memories and unanswered letters. Having someone else in Ellie's place is like trying to fit a puzzle piece into a space that was uniquely shaped for her. It's both comforting and disorienting—a blend of familiarity and foreignness. Her presence brings warmth, but it's a different kind—the soft glow of candlelight instead of the blazing fire that Ellie ignited.Sophia's touch is gentle, her fingers tracing patterns on your skin. But it lacks the electric charge—the pulse of longing—that Ellie's touch carried. You wonder if Sophia noticed the way you hesitated, the way your heart stumbles when she leans in too close.
The day with Sophia didnt end there, it  stretched into a comfortable rhythm, covering the next two days of your life —a dance of shared meals, laughter, and quiet moments. Her presence filled the spaces that Ellie had once occupied, and you found yourself not minding it at all. The awkwardness of those initial conversations melted away as you both peeled back layers, revealing stories and dreams that wove your lives together.
But life has a way of interrupting even the most harmonious melodies. Jesse, with his uninvited pizza and the entire Twilight saga in tow, barged into your living room. You tried to politely decline the teen romance marathon—you'd seen it one too many times—but Jesse, being Jesse, brushed off your protests. His eyes widened when he saw Sophia sitting there, a teasing grin tugging at his lips. You knew he'd milk this moment, teasing you about having a cute girl over at your house.
After Jesse left, well, pratically run out, you settled back onto the sofa next to Sophia. "That was... Jesse, right?" she asked, her fingers playing with her curly hair. You leaned against the soft material of the sofa, nodding. "Uhm, yup." Sophia's gaze lingered on you, and you sensed her curiosity. "You two do spend a lot of time together—even after patrols," she observed."Oh? You noticed that? Stalking me, huh?" you teased, making Sophia blush. Her cheeks turned a delightful shade of pink. "Well," she replied, her voice soft, "you just always catch my eye." And then, without warning, her body shifted closer. Her hands found their place on either side of your waist, and her lips met yours—a sweetness that tasted like possibility. You hated yourself for it, truly. Because here was a girl with good intentions, almost on top of you, and your mind couldn't help but wish it was Ellie.
Another two months slip through your fingers, ephemeral as morning mist. Life, once heavy with the ache of Ellie's absence, begins to lift itself up.  Sophia becomes a constant presence—a sunbeam that warms the corners of your heart as you allow yourself. Your growing relationship with Sophia blossoms, and you find comfort in her laughter, her touch, and the shared moments that weave your lives together. The unspoken question lingers: Are you allowed to call her your girlfriend? After all, you've shared more than just cake and conversations. Perhaps labels matter less than the way she looks at you, the way her fingers intertwine with yours.
And then there's Jesse—the steadfast friend who bridges the gap between patrols and pizza nights. His teasing about Sophia doesn't go unnoticed, but he's also the one who brings laughter into your home. Everything else remains unchanged—the memories, the unanswered letters, and the quiet longing. Life moves forward, and you find solace in the delicate balance of old and new. Patrol was as good as it could be, once you and Jesse found a way to connect your abilities, it didnt really feel like work anymore. 
"Yo, little one," Jesse's voice cut through the quiet of the stables, interrupting your grooming session with Lacy. You turned to meet his gaze, immediately noticing his patrol clothes—fitting perfectly against his frame. "What the hell are you doing? We have the day off, remember?" you asked, your fingers still caressing Lacy's mane.
"Not anymore," Jesse replied, already opening the door to his horse's stable. "Dina apparently has the flu, and they both forgot to sign in at the station outside. Maria asked me to take their route for today and look for anything weird." He led his dark brown horse out of the stable, determination etched on his face.
"Good luck with that," you said, turning back to continue your work. But Jesse wasn't done. "Nuh huh, lover girl. You're joining me," he declared, his tone leaving no room for argument. "Pardon?" You looked at him, confusion knitting your brows. "Don't hit me with Spanish,"- ''Its french'' Jesse chuckled. "well whatever it was,I don't speak it. Come on now, get ready. We don't have all day." He saddled his horse efficiently, his movements practiced. "Why should I? You said yes, not me," you replied stubbornly, even though you gathered all the essentials needed to prepare Lacy. "Well, because I'm your partner in crime? Your work husband? Love of your patrol life?" Jesse grinned, his eyes dancing with mischief. "And because I'll get bored alone. You don't have anything better to do anyway." - ''Rude?! maybe i had things planned?!'' You said, jokingly offended as you grab your stuff  ''You can meet sophia  and have all of those important 'converstations'' he made weird kissing noises ''later.'' He finished his sentance, making you laugh ''Well first of all I-'' You got interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat. You looked into the direction of the noise and saw the last person you wanted to see today. ''Sup, Ellie.'' Jesse said, leaning against the stable door. ''what can I do for you?'' He asked, eyes stuck on ellie. But her gaze lied elsewhere; On you.
You shivered under her gaze, your heart racing. As you looked into Ellie's eyes—the first time in forever—you sensed something there, something you couldn't quite put into words. Her burning gaze finally shifted from you to Jesse, arms crossed at her chest.
"Earlier, when me and Dina were at the station, I lost my journal," Ellie said, her voice close, intimate. "Can you look for it? Kinda really need it back." Her words echoed through the stable, and suddenly, the air felt too thin. Your knees wobbled, memories of Ellie cascading down the memory bridge, crashing into your stomach. You felt like you might throw up. "Sure, we will look for it. Anything else?" Jesse asked, glancing between the two of you. Ellie's eyes traveled back to you, and silent hope bloomed in your chest. Maybe this was the moment—maybe Ellie would finally have the guts to talk to you directly, to say she's sorry. But as her gaze wavered, you felt the familiar pang of disappointment. Once again, Ellie remained silent.You felt a strong hand on your shoulder, silently offering support. Jesse's familiar scent enveloped you. "Thought so," he said, ending the conversation. Ellie nodded and turned away, leaving the two of you alone. The barn was filled with silence until you spoke with a shaky voice. "Okay, let's just go." And so you did—you and Jesse left for patrol. But with every passing second, the memory of that confrontation lingered, and you realized how much you still craved her.
"Jesus, I hate this path," Jesse grumbled, pushing open the old, creaky door to the station. His face turned red from the effort, and you couldn't help but giggle. "Stop crying like a baby. Let's sign in and leave," you said, walking toward the desk on the opposite side of the room. As you approached, you noticed that a pen was missing. Without it, you obviously couldn't sign in.
"Jesse, there's no pen," you called out, looking at your friend. "Really? Look under the table or something. We'll find one," he replied. You followed his suggestion, getting down on your knees. Spiderwebs greeted you, along with the encroaching dusk. You pulled out your flashlight, shining it underneath the table for a better look. And there it was—an old, leather-covered book. You'd recognize that book spine anywhere, even in the grandest libraries.
You picked it up, wiping away the dust that clung to its material. The thickness of the journal reminded you of what you were holding—a door to Ellie Williams' secrets and mindful thoughts. "Found one!" Jesse's voice snapped you out of your reverie. You turned around, hiding the journal behind your back. Jesse joined you, writing your names on the slim paper of the checklist. ‘Partner in crimes ( Jesse and y/n)’
"Did you find anything? The book, I mean. It's not somewhere I looked," Jesse asked. You shook your head, slipping the journal into your bag without it being noticed. "Nope, didn't find it either."
''Every poem I ever wrote was about her. That smile of hers, those golden eyes—whenever she's too close to the sun, it's impossible for me to stay away. The day I left, my heart shattered into a million pieces. In my head, inside my perfect self-made world, she never left me. All my thoughts revolve around her—the memories etched into my mind. Her touch, so soft—I never wanted to let go. The scent of her clothes, stealing my breath away. The nights we spent dreaming together, the minutes I never want to regret. I never dared to imagine a lifetime without her. Yet here I am, writing these words with a hole in my chest. I'm bleeding out, the wind kissing my mind, refreshing memories of letting go. The silence surrounds me, a reminder to hold on.
I search the past for redemption, but it eludes me. The only thing left of me are broken pieces of her.”
The words were carefully etched onto the paper, making it hard for you to breathe. You hadn't intended to overstep her privacy—why had you taken that journal in the first place? You dont know.  But here you were, sitting with the book in hand, the only light in the living room emanating from the countless candles you'd lit.
The journal looked thicker than usual, and that's what caught your attention first. You knew that book well, even though you'd never seen what she put inside—except for her drawings of animals, Joel, Dina, and you. She'd never shown anyone what she wrote between the pages.
The reason you'd decided to open the book, against all your inner morals, was the fact that as you carefully pulled it out of your bag—treating it like fragile glass—multiple letters fell out. You noticed them right away. They were yours—carefully written letters she'd never dared to answer. The envelopes ripped open showed you she defenetly read them all. You dont know how to feel about that yet. Relieved that she cared enough to read them? Happy becasue she carried your letters with her, doesnt matter where shed go? Or mad, because she never replied? You know nothing. The only thing you're able to do now is bury yourself in the book, reading what Ellie never dared to say out loud.
''Ive been having a hard time adjusting, I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting. I didn't know if you'd care if I came back, I have a lot of regrets about that. Pulled the car off the road to the lookout, Could've followed my fears all the way down. And maybe I don't quite know what to say but I'm here in your doorway. I just wanted you to know that this is me trying'' 
The words cut deeper than a knife,
before you knew it, your eyes traveled to the next phrases, crossed out, you could barely read them:
"It's hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you.
Seeing you with Sophie burns me from inside out.
Why are you with her?
I know I don't own you, perhaps I never will,
so the anger inside of me when I see you with her
is something I'm not allowed to feel.
What I feel, I shouldn't show you.
So when you're around, I don't.
I let you walk away with her.
I know I don't have the right to feel it,
but it doesn't mean I don't."
The rest of the book was empty, besides some skteches of eyes that look dangerously like yours. You swallowed hard, not really sure of what you should feel. You re-read the sentences out loud, letting the bittersweet aftertaste of them making you feel alive. Your heart has been Ellies since the first time you both laughed together; yet you were so sure of the fact that she would never feel the same. Considering the words in the journal, maybe it wasnt one sided after all. Youre confused, being with Sophia was easy, comftable. But with ellie, it was different. better. You miss the butterflies in your stomach, miss her touch and her closeness. The rollercoster was everything you ever had, after all.
Two days of full selfishness carried its weight, and you continued to keep the journal. The guilt crept in, stealthy as shadows, finding you at night, when the world slept and your thoughts roamed free. Those written pages from Ellie, inked with longing and crossed-out confessions, haunted your mind. You tried your best to hide the pain, a fragile masquerade. Distancing yourself from Sophia and Jesse, you walked the tightrope of deception. It wasn't deliberate; it was survival. The what-could've-been danced like a ghost, whispering secrets in your ear. You wondered if Ellie's heart echoed the same unspoken words.
Sophia, her presence a comforting harbor, yet her touch felt like borrowed warmth. And Jesse, his eyes— The guilt gnawed at you, a relentless hunger. You held Sophia too close, fearing Ellie's phantom gaze. You looked into Jesse's eyes, and the lie about keeping the Journal tasted bitter on your tongue.  Ellie, elusive as a wisp of smoke. The barn encounter—the air thick with unspoken truths—left you breathless. You havent seen her since. You called in sick for the patrol meeting, a desperate escape from the inevitable. The fear of facing her again, of unraveling the fragile equilibrium, gripped your heart.
In the quiet of your room, the journal lay open. The crossed-out phrases, the sketches of eyes—they were your silent companions.
——————————————————-
"Okay, Miss being all sad and distant, I'm not having this anymore. Tell me what's going on right now or I'm killing you," Jesse declared, pressing past you as you opened the door. His urgency hung in the air, a storm brewing behind his eyes.
"Jesus, very aggressive today, aren't we?" you quipped, trailing after your friend into the living room. The door closed behind you, sealing you both in a cocoon of tension. You sank into the couch, and Jesse settled next to you, his gaze drilling holes into your soul."Therapy session. Now. What's going on?" His hands clasped together, a makeshift gavel. The room felt smaller, suffocating. You glanced at the coffee table, considering the whiskey bottle, but thought better of it. "Nothing? Do you want to drink anything... or?" Your voice played innocent, a fragile mask. Jesse wasn't fooled. "The jury says stop trying to change the subject." His tone held a mix of exasperation and concern."The jury...?" You grinned, despite the weight in your chest. "Yeah, me." Jesse's eyes softened, and you chuckled. "It's nothing, really.“
"You're completely distant," he said, his voice calm. "Even Sophia asked me if I have any idea what's going on." The truth hung between you like a fragile thread, ready to snap.
"I don't know... it's, urgh, weird." You fidgeted with the edge of a cushion. Jesse leaned closer, his breath warm against your cheek. "Tell me!" His insistence bordered on desperation
"Okay, but promise me not to hate me?" You gave him a side-eye, afraid of meeting his gaze head-on. "Could never hate you," he replied, and the words carried weight. So you spilled it—the secret you'd harbored, the journal you'd found.
Ellie's words, inked and crossed out, danced in your memory. You didn't reveal the exact phrasing, but you shared the confusion—the way her emotions bled through the pages. Jesse listened, his eyes wide, and you wondered if he saw the echoes of your own heartache.
In that quiet room, the truth hung heavy. You'd kept Ellie's words hidden, but now they spilled forth. Jesse's hand found yours, and you clung to it, hoping for absolution. "It's Ellie," you whispered. "It's always been Ellie."  His silence spoke volumes, eyes carrying the weight of unspoken understanding. He'd always sensed your feelings for Ellie, perhaps even before you did. It wasn't a secret to anyone but her—the way your heart gravitated toward her, like a moth drawn to a flame. “You guys need to talk.” Jesse said.
"I can't," you whispered, the words fragile on your tongue. The weight of unspoken truths pressed against your chest, threatening to spill forth."And why the fuck not? What do you have to lose?" Jesse's voice held a mix of frustration and concern. He saw through your defenses, stripped away the layers you'd carefully woven. Ellie—the enigma, the ache—loomed between you like a shadow."Afraid of losing her? I think you already archived that." His bluntness cut through your heart. You knew it too well—the missed chances, the crossed-out phrases, the silence that echoed louder than words. Jesse could see the pain in you and the bluntless paired with that slight tinge of what appeared to be anger slowly disappeared into thin air, much like the smoke of a lit cigarette blown into the night sky.
"Look" he begins, sighing while he considers the phrasing of this. He means no harm, but being too gentle could erase the importance of the situation "I want to help you, but you cannot hide yourself away. If you truly want this girl, you need to be able to put in the effort. Dina and Ellie arent dating either, dina told me herself that the two of them thought there was something but ended up with nothing. Be honest with yourself, but also with everyone else" You exhale deeply, relief floods your system despite the heavy heart still pounding against your chest.
Jesse is the kind of friend you can never let go. He's just that important.
Between the soft tunes of comfortingly familiar songs and a few shed tears, the two of you scheme together... Creating a, hopefully, foolproof plan on how to finally approach the elephant in the room. Ellie and you; it wasn't over, was it?
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The Silver Dragon (2)
Youth
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Lady Arianwyn and Prince Aemond grow up side-by-side.
Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x OC (Daemon and Rhea's daughter)
Warnings: none
Author's Note: This chapter is entirely new! The old chapter 2 will be back later as chapter 3. Also, I have not been around babies or toddlers or even kids under 10 since I was that age myself, so if I got any childhood development facts wrong, just pretend that I didn't!
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Only four days after Prince Aemond Targaryen saw his eleventh moon, he took his first steps. It was a matter of necessity. His nursemaid had set him on the nursery floor too far from Aria – all the way on the other side of the rug!
He did not really know who Aria was.
He did not know that her full name was ‘Arianwyn,’ for everyone only called her Aria – except for the large men in bronze suits, who called her ‘Lady,’ or sometimes “Little Lady.” He did not know that she was his cousin, as he did not know what a cousin was. He did not know that she had not always been with him or that she was younger than him, for he had no memories without her there.
All he knew was that Aria was always there, and he was always with her.
But in that moment, she was too far away. He took one look at Aria’s sad and confused face, and he knew he needed to get to her. If he didn’t do it soon, she would start to cry. He hated it when she cried. It made him want to cry.
So, he started crawling toward her. Slowly, he was moving too slowly. She looked more and more like she was going to cry, and Aemond decided there wouldn’t be anything worse in the world.
He pushed his arms against the floor, bracing himself as he raised up onto his legs, as the bigger people did. When he lifted his arms again, he saw Aria staring at him, no longer looking like she was about to cry. While he was glad, he still wanted to go to her.
“Hurry, get the queen!”
Aemond remembered that last word, ‘queen.’ He heard it a lot when his second-favorite person was around. Was she here, too?
He turned his head to look at the part of the wall where people came through but didn’t see anyone. The turn cost him, though. His legs grew wobbly, and he had a sinking feeling in his stomach that he was going to fall. He couldn’t prevent the fall, but maybe he could control it.
His arms flailing, Aemond leaned forward and took three steps closer to Aria before he fell on his face.
Three steps were enough, though. Aria had crawled forward to meet him in the middle of the rug, a wide smile on her face as she squealed with delight. Tears had already sprung to Aemond’s eyes from his fall, but when he looked at Aria, he forgot why he had wanted to cry.
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“Aria!”
“Aymmmmmuh!”
Aemond knew words now – several of them. It infuriated Arianwyn. Especially when his favorite word was her name, and she could not say his back.
She knew his name. Whenever someone said “Aemond,” she knew they were talking about him. She just couldn’t get the word out. The first part, the “ay” sound, she usually got right, but it always fell apart from there.
The worst part was seeing his frustration when she failed, yet again, to say his name. She wanted Aemond to like her – needed him to like her.
He wasn’t like Aegon, who was too big and played in ways she couldn’t, or Helaena, who barely liked to play at all. They weren’t even there most of the time. They were big enough to leave the nursery and go to different places like “garden” or “great hall.”
But Aemond was perfect. He played exactly how she liked, and though he was bigger than her, he never played too roughly. When Aunt – who Aemond called “mama” – took Aegon and Helaena out of the nursery, he stayed with her. He always stayed with her. Even when they were in their cradles, she could still see him from across the room.
“Aymmnuh,” she tried again. And failed again.
Aemond frowned and shook his head. “No.”
Another favorite word of his – Aegon taught it to him. Arianwyn huffed, the sound echoed by the hatchling dragon sunning itself in the window.
Some weeks prior, she had woken in the hour of the wolf to find that the egg that had lain in her cradle had shattered. Shards of black speckled with storm gray and ice blue were strewn across her blanket, and the comforting heat she had grown accustomed to warming herself against was gone. As she began to cry, she noticed a shape looming over her, perched on the edge of her cradle.
The night nurses screamed, shouting at the guards outside the door. Both the man in red and black and the man in bronze looked at her and the dark shape at her feet with wide eyes before running down the corridor so fast their clanging armor sounded like a thunderstorm.
The noise woke Aemond, who looked from Arianwyn to the shape that had leaned down to peer at her. “Dwa- dwagon!”
Arianwyn watched as it jumped down from its perch. She could barely make out the shape in the darkness and against the deep brown of her fur blankets. It did look like the toys they played with that the others called “dragon.” Two membranous wings, a thin, flicking tail, a long neck covered with small spines, and eyes like living ice.
It moved cautiously as it approached her until she could see the faint lines of gray and white within its blue eyes—a dragon. Her dragon.
As she now frowned at Aemond, her dragon was sprawled on the stone of the windowsill, wings spread lazily as it echoed her frustration without even opening its eyes.
“Dragon!” Aemond exclaimed.
“Muhmuhnd!” She was so close, she knew it. She had all the pieces. She just needed to put them together. “Ay!”
Aemond stared at her, a hint of a smile on his face from knowing she was about to try again.
“Ay!” Her face was scrunched in determination as she shouted. The nurses paused their work and looked at her as well.
“Ay-muh!”
Aemond started clapping. One of the nurses whispered to another before slipping out the door.
“Ay-muhn!”
In the window, Arianwyn’s dragon sat up, small clouds of smoke puffing from his nostrils as it began to climb down from the window.
“Ay-muhn-duh! Aemond!”
One of the nurses pressed a hand to her chest and said a word Arianwyn didn’t know. The others started rushing around. But Arianwyn didn’t care. She was looking at Aemond, who clapped and smiled wider than she had ever seen.
“Aemond!” She shouted again, delighting in his responding laugh.
He pointed at her. “Aria!”
“Aemond!”
“Aria!”
“Aemond!”
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There was a new baby in the nursery—two, actually, but Daeron had already been there for four moons, so his novelty had worn off.
Aemond and Arianwyn sat together on one end of the room, watching as he was held by his mother, Rhaenyra, who was also Aemond’s sister. That made him Aemond’s nephew, the nurses had explained.
They had also explained what he was to Aria, but he didn’t quite understand it, as it was somehow much more complicated. Aegon said he understood, and Helaena had nodded, which meant she probably understood, too. She didn’t talk much, and when she did, it never made much sense.
Aegon also explained that the new babe, whose name was “Jacaerys,” but everyone just called “Jace,” was something called a bastard. It meant that Jace’s father wasn’t his father; some other man was. But that didn’t make sense. Rhaenyra was married to Laenor, which meant Laenor was Jace’s father, for the Mother only gave babes to people who were married and very much in love.
When Aemond had asked more about it, Aegon rolled his eyes and said, “You’ll understand when you’re older.”
It was something that was often said to Aemond and Arian, and they did not like it very much. They would have to wait a long time to be older, and they didn’t want to wait.
They also did not like that they were not allowed to play with Jace as they did with Daeron. Rhaenyra said they were “too big.” But when they asked Rhaenyra if she would play with them while Jace was sleeping, she also said no, even though she was definitely big enough. She only ever came to the nursery when Jace was awake and left the moment he fell asleep.
Aemond decided he did not like Rhaenyra.
She had never come to see him, or Aegon, or Helaena, or Aria before Jace was born. Now that she had finally come, she all but ignored them. When they tried to talk to her, she seemed annoyed. Worst of all, he had seen her giving Aria a mean look several times.
His mother did not get along with Rhaenyra very well, so he assumed it was fine not to like her.
However, his father loved Rhaenyra. He came to visit her and her babe often, which would annoy Aemond if it didn’t also mean he got to see his father more.
Since his father was the king, he was very busy and didn’t always have time to see his children in the nursery. But now that the nursery was very full with six children, he made the time, Aemond’s grandsire, who was also the Hand of the King, said.
The king spent most of his time with Jace, but that was probably because Jace was the newest. He still held Daeron, played with Arianwyn and her dragon, complimented Helaena’s insects, admired Aemond's drawings, ruffled Aegon’s hair, and read them all stories from Old Valyria – the fantastical empire where their ancestors were from.
Aemond loved those stories. So did Aria. They tried to memorize them so they could tell them to each other whenever the king wasn’t there. Sometimes, they even acted out some of the stories, with Helaena, Daeron, and several of Aria’s attendants–including her lady’s maid, Brynna, and any number of her twelve guards–as their audience.
Her attendants also told them stories about Aria’s other ancestors, the Bronze Kings. Before there were any Targaryens or Dragons in Westeros, the Bronze Kings ruled over Runestone. One day, Aria would, too.
They didn’t know what Aemond would do. He was a prince, but he wasn’t the heir. There weren’t many stories about second sons. Whenever they asked, they were again told, “You’ll understand when you’re older.” But they never worried for long. There were lots of other exciting things to think about, like when Aemond’s dragon egg would hatch.
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Arianwyn looked around the large room with wide eyes. She had never been to this room before, even though she had now been to many different rooms in the Red Keep. At least Aemond was there, so she wasn’t alone. Still, she wished she had been allowed to bring her dragon – which she had named ‘Emrys’ after a recent visit from her cousin, Ser Gerold.
Brynna was also there, but she sat in a chair by the door sewing something, so she couldn’t hold Arianwyn’s hand. Aemond did so happily. She was pretty sure he was also nervous. His eyes were moving all around the room, too. But his face didn’t look afraid.
Aegon was also there, but Arianwyn didn’t find comfort in his presence. Ever since Aegon left the nursery, he became mean. He was never very nice, but Arianwyn never thought he had been mean. He liked to make jokes that were not very funny, but he laughed anyway.
Most of the jokes were about Aemond and how his egg hadn’t hatched. It didn’t make much sense to Arianwyn, as Aegon’s egg hadn’t hatched either. But he had just returned from a trip to Dragonstone – their family’s other castle – with a hatchling from a different egg. He named it Sunfyre, because it was gold and pink and shiny.
Helaena also went, and though she did not find a dragon from Dragonstone, when she went with their father and Aegon to show Sunfyre the Dragonpit, she met Dreamfyre, who was once ridden by Princess Rhaena, their grandfather’s sister. Helaena and Dreamfyre bonded almost instantly, and the king was very happy.
Aemond and Arianwyn hadn’t been allowed to go along to Dragonstone at all. Arianwyn, because she was too little and already had a dragon, and Aemond, just because he was too little. He had been sad since then, and nothing Arianwyn did seemed to cheer him up for very long.
She squeezed his hand a little, causing him to look at her, his face still empty. “Are you excited?"
At the other end of the table, Aegon scoffed. “There’s nothing to be excited about, trust me.”
Arianwyn rolled her eyes. The first time she did it, it annoyed Aegon, so now she did it whenever possible. “I’m excited. I want to learn everything!”
The corner of Aemond’s mouth quirked up as if he would smile. But it fell back when Aegon started talking again. “You want to learn ‘everything?’ Perhaps you should become a maester, then.”
His tone was mocking, but Arianwyn considered the possibility. The maesters had the biggest library at the Citadel in Oldtown. Perhaps she should be a master; then, she could read all the stories she wanted. But that would require her to be in Oldtown, which was very far away from Runestone.
“Can I be a maester and Lady of Runestone?” she asked.
It went completely silent. Then, Brynna sighed sadly in the corner, and Aegon started laughing.
Arianwyn’s stomach sank. Had she said something wrong? She looked around, hoping someone else would tell her why Aegon was laughing. But Brynna just looked tired, and her guard for the day, Ser Warren, looked like he was hurting, or maybe had smelled something bad. Either way, his face was all scrunched up.
“Shut up!” Aemond shouted, startling her enough that she clapped her hands over her ears. He glared at his brother, his face reddened and angry. “Don’t laugh at her!”
Aegon kept laughing. Aemond kept shouting. Ser Christor looked like he was about to panic. Brynna abandoned her sewing and ran to calm everyone down, but it didn’t work. Tears started to sting behind Arianwyn’s eyes, so she shut them tight, ducked her chin, and shook her head back and forth. That always made the nightmares go away. Maybe it would make this go away, too.
Suddenly, Aegon’s laughing and Aemond’s shouting stopped. She lifted her hands away from her ears and opened her eyes just enough to see Maester Orwyle entering the room.
“Prince Aegon, perhaps it would be wise to keep your lessons separate from Prince Aemond and Lady Arianwyn’s.” His voice was just as gentle as when he came to the nursery when one of them was sick, but Aegon still scowled at him. “Unless you would prefer to repeat the fundamentals of the curriculum?”
Aegon pushed his chair away from the table so fast it fell over and gave a smile that made Arianwyn nervous. “I don’t give a fuck.”
Ser Christor’s eyes went wide. Brynna gasped and put a hand on her chest. Aegon didn’t acknowledge them before stomping out of the room.
After the door slammed shut, Orwyle sighed. He smiled at Aemond and Arianwyn, but it seemed fake. “I am very excited you two are beginning your lessons; you have always been curious.”
He sat at the table across from them and opened a large, messy book. “Before we begin, do you have any questions about how lessons work?”
Aemond said nothing, pouting, as he often did around Aegon, with his arms crossed.
Arianwyn raised her hand above her head. “Grand Maester, what is a ‘fuck?’”
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“Just grab it!”
“It’s too high!”
Arianwyn huffed, crossing her arms as she looked up at Aemond, standing atop a chair trying to reach a large leather-bound book. “Do you want me to try?”
“No!” Aemond’s face reddened. “I can do it. Besides, you’re shorter than me – how could you reach it if I can’t?”
She thought for a moment. If Emrys lived in the Keep, she could have him pry the book out, but he was in the Dragonpit now. Even after three moons, she still woke, expecting to find him tucked against her chest, fast asleep.
But he’d gotten too big to stay in the castle, and Arianwyn had to take him to the Dragonpit. The king and Aemond went with her and helped her with her High Valyrian while she explained to Emrys that he had to stay there now. It didn’t stop him from flying back to the castle for the first fortnight, but he eventually learned to stay in his den.
“I don’t know,” she finally admitted. “Maybe I’ll have an idea if I get on the chair.”
Aemond shook his head, his brow set. “No, you could fall.” Before she could get her next argument out, he continued, “I can do it. Watch.”  
He braced one hand on the edge of the shelf while the other just skimmed the spine of the book they were trying to reach, then jumped. Arianwyn called his name, certain he would fall and hurt himself or even destroy the book.
But then, Aemond was again standing steady on the chair, the book in his hands and a happy grin.
“You did it!” The very moment he was off the chair, Arianwyn hugged him tightly. He could not hug her back with the heavy book in his hands, so he just dropped his head on her shoulder. “Come on, let’s go read!”
She dragged him back to the table in the small alcove, where they had already set out pen and paper. Once Aemond had set the book down and opened it to the first page, she picked up the pen and got ready to write.
“Before the Andu-Andals came to Westeros, and long before Aegon Targaryen con… conchu… um…”
Arianwyn pointed to the word he struggled with. “Conquered. Remember how he’s called ‘Aegon the Conqueror?’”
Aemond’s cheeks flushed. “Yeah, I know. Con-kerd. I was just…making sure I was saying it right.”
She didn’t quite believe him, but she didn’t want to correct him either, so she gave him a smile and nodded for him to continue.
“…before Aegon Targaryen conquered the Seven Kingdoms with his dragons, the lands were inhuh- inhah… inhabee...”
Arianwyn again pointed at the book. “‘In-hah-bih-ted.’ I’ve heard it before but can’t remember what it means. Do you?”
“I…” He slumped, looking pointedly away from her. “No, I don’t.”
They both looked at the book for a moment before Arianwyn handed the pen and paper to Aemond. “Write it down,” she instructed. “In our lessons with Orwyle tomorrow, we can ask him.”
Aemond looked from the book to the paper, then slid the book to her. It made more sense this way, Arianwyn thought. She was better at pronouncing big words, and he was better at writing things down so they would be ‘legible,’ a word Orwyle said but had never really explained.
“In-hah-bih-ted,” Aemond said as he wrote the word down. He whispered the pronunciation a few more times before looking back at Arianwyn. “I’m ready for more.”
She smiled broadly before looking at the page again. “The lands were inhabited by the First Men, who had built mighty kingdoms that…”
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When he was younger, Aemond used to look at the Dragonpit from the seat at the nursery window. For hours, he would dream about one day walking through its mighty doors, mounting his own dragon, and finally claiming his birthright as a Targaryen prince.
Now, he had half a mind to tear down those doors himself.
The task would be far easier with the assistance of a dragon, however, which at the age of eight, Aemond still did not have.
Aegon and Helaena did. His bastard nephews did, somehow. Arianwyn did. But Aemond did not.
Still, he was forced to attend lessons with the Dragonkeepers, watching the others and only imagining doing the same with his own dragon. It wasn’t so bad when Aria was with him. Aegon made jokes, but stopped when she snapped back at him. After that, he would target their nephews. Aemond sometimes even laughed with him.
But then, during one lesson, Dreamfyre snapped at the younger dragons as they pranced around her. She did not cause any physical harm, but Vermax refused to leave his den for days, and Sunfyre would splay out on all fours the moment he saw the mighty she-dragon and stay that way until she left.
After that, the Dragonkeepers decided it prudent to separate Dreamfyre from the younger dragons. Not entirely, for she needed to learn to tolerate them before they could all fly together. She would continue to train with only one – Emrys.
It made sense. Emrys annoyed Dreamfyre the least. And when Aegon made Aria mad, the black dragon would often snap at Sunfyre.
So, Aemond was left to face the torment of being a Targaryen without a dragon alone.
Without Aria there to stop him, Aegon redoubled his teasing. Worse still, the bastards figured out that if they followed Aegon’s lead and made their own jokes at Aemond’s expense, he would not make jokes about them.
The Dragonpit, once a source of hope and inspiration, was now Aemond’s hell.
It started with small, simple japes or whispered comments about his lack of a dragon. But over time, it worsened.
The remarks became crueler and, sometimes, included a crudeness that rankled Aemond. “It’s still good practice for you,” Aegon said. “Even without a dragon, you’ll still need to know how to ride whatever beast mother sends you off to marry.”
The jokes evolved past mere verbal mockery. Once, Aegon and his bastard lackeys had an old saddle that one of their ancestors had used brought in. For Aemond to practice his riding stance, they said. But when he took the seat, he found himself sitting atop a pile of dragon dung they had placed in the saddle and concealed with a sheet of burlap.
He never should have trusted them. He knew it.
But he wanted to.
He wanted to practice his riding stance, to finally sit in a dragon’s saddle, even if it was on the ground rather than an actual dragon. He wanted to feel reins in his hand and imagine the wind flowing past him. And a part of him even wanted to be friends with his brother and nephews.
That small, weak part of him was soon thoroughly snuffed out.
Just after his ninth nameday, Aemond was approached by Aegon and their nephews. He’d long since vowed not to trust them, but his brother’s words shot through his defenses like Valyrian steel through armor.
“Let’s go get you a dragon, brother.”
“What?” Aemond’s heart stopped in his chest. Had one of the she-dragons laid a new clutch of eggs, or had one of the eggs in the warming chamber hatched? Perhaps a new wild dragon had been spotted?
“Look, you’ve just celebrated your nameday,” there was something genuine in Aegon’s voice, unbelievable as it was. He set a hand on Aemond’s shoulder, but it didn’t reassure him as much as it unsettled him. “You’re nearly a man. And you’ve been training with the Dragonkeepers for so long that you’re more than ready to try and claim a dragon. Unless you’re still waiting on that egg?”
That egg, once a deep blue swirling with purple, green, and silver wisps, had turned to stone years ago. It still waited by the hearth in his chambers, just in case of a miracle. He shook his head.
Aegon smiled and turned toward the dragon dens. “Come on then, let’s go.”
“Do the Dragonkeepers know?”
Lucerys ran up behind them, a half-toothless smile splitting his face. “No! We –”
“We didn’t want to tell them because… well,” Jacaerys stuttered momentarily, and Aemond’s faith wavered.
“They wouldn’t allow it if they knew.” Aegon didn’t look back as he led them down the sloping entrance to the dragon dens. “I can’t understand why. Surely, they know you’re more than ready.” He glanced over his shoulder. “Just imagine the look on their faces when they see you come into the arena on the back of a full-grown dragon!”
And Aria, Aemond thought. She would be thrilled for him. He could picture it perfectly, the gleam of utter glee in her eyes as she smiled as wide as she could. And she would be able to ride Emrys soon, she’d told him. If he claimed an adult dragon, they could fly together.
The fantasy ended the moment the last of the daylight disappeared. That rush of anticipation faded, leaving him with only reluctance and fear.
Not that he had time to act on it before Aegon seized his arm and pointed into the massive passages lit only by distant torches. “Terrax makes his den down there.”
Aemond nearly choked as he named the formidable dragon that had hatched during Aegon the Conqueror’s reign and remained unclaimed since. “You want me to claim Terrax?”
“Yes!” Aegon spoke as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Don’t you think you deserve one of the largest and most powerful dragons in the world?”
“I… I suppose so.”
Aegon patted Aemond’s shoulder, then pushed him forward a few steps, sand flying up around him. “Then get on!”
He made no move to follow. Neither did their bastard nephews.
“Are you not coming with me?” The thought of approaching Terrax was daunting enough. To do it alone was nearly unthinkable.
Lucerys opened his mouth, but Jacaerys thumped him before he could say anything. Aegon just held Aemond’s gaze. “We are but must follow behind, so we don’t spook Terrax. Too many unfamiliar scents will put him on edge.”
It made sense, according to everything he’d learned about dragons. Unbonded dragons were especially sensitive to unfamiliar people, it was why novice Dragonkeepers were always accompanied by an elder.
Still, this wasn’t something Aemond wanted to do alone. “But you will be behind me?”
“We will,” Aegon assured, a hint of annoyance entering his voice.
“You swear it?”
“I swear.”
Aemond searched his brother’s face for any hint of deception but found none. Either he had become a more proficient liar, or he was telling the truth. This was his brother, his future king. If he couldn’t trust Aegon, who could he trust?
He could trust Aria. Always. If only she were here, he would be far more confident. And braver – he wouldn’t let her see him afraid. If she were here, he’d march right into Terrax’s den and lay his claim. He remembered the image he’d pictured of her proud face when he told her he’d claimed a dragon and decided he would do anything to make it real.
One step forward. Two. Three.
It was not long before it was so dark that when he looked behind him, he could not see Aegon, Jacaerys, or Lucerys. But knowing they were there was still a comfort, even if he had to walk the shadowed distances between torches.
The dragon dens, at last, came into view. The first few – one on the left, two on the right – were empty. The next one on the left had a massive nest of straw, wood, and sand occupying nearly every crevice of the room.
A low growl echoed through the corridor. Perhaps it was simply a dragon snoring. Maybe one had already scented him. The only way to know for certain was to continue.
As he approached the next den on the right, the growl came again, louder this time. Aemond said a swift prayer before moving closer, as quietly as he could.
He pressed his back to the wall and crept forward, waiting for the den itself to come into view. Waiting to see what lay inside. He reached the threshold and slowly peeked into the den.
A large green eye met his.
Terrax whipped his massive head toward Aemond, letting out a piercing roar.
“Ly.. lykirī! Dohaerās!” Be calm. Serve.
Terrax did not. A glow began in his throat, and heat threatened to overwhelm Aemond.
He was going to burn him.
Aemond ran, stumbling in the sand. He had to get away, get out, escape.
“Aegon!” It was both plea and warning.
No answer came.
“Aegon!”
The heat was growing, growing, growing. A whooshing noise chased him.
“Aegon! Jacaerys! Lucerys! Help!”
The tunnel was bright as day now. Sweat rapidly formed and fell from his brow.
The fire was upon him.
He had one last prayer.
“Aria!”
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Aria was waiting in the library when Aemond finally escaped the thorough scoldings he’d received from both Elder Dantis, the leader of the Dragonkeepers, and his mother. “Aemond! Come look what Ser Gerold sent from Runestone!”
He should have been thrilled, should have felt excitement rushing in his veins at the prospect of new books directly from Aria’s home. But he wasn’t. He wasn’t even heartened by the fact that she’d waited for him for so long. He felt… nothing.
“Aemond?” As he came closer, she seemed to finally notice his disheveled appearance. The ends of his hair had been burnt away, and soot and sand clung to his clothes. “What happened?”
“I…” He took his seat, keeping his gaze on the blank parchment before him. This was what they always did: sit together while Aria read, and he wrote down new words or questions they had. It was his favorite part of the day.
Why did the prospect now make him want to cry?
He shook his head.
Aria exchanged a glance with her guard – Ser Christor always seemed to be on duty while they were in the library. She moved her chair closer to his. “Lēkia?”
He squeezed his eyes shut. Her voice always soothed him and made him feel happy and safe. But right now, it seemed to echo Terrax's horrible roaring.
A small, gentle hand came to rest on his. The touch… felt good—soft, safe, and cool.
But then she spoke again. “Please, are you alright?”
Aemond managed a slight nod. Terrax’s fire went above him, so he managed to escape without any burns, but his clothes and pride were ravaged. As was his faith in his brothers and nephews.
“Why won’t you say anything?” Damn it all, she was about to cry. He could not stand to hear anyone speaking right now, not even her. Yet he could not stand making her cry, either.
He picked up the quill she’d laid out for him, dipping it carelessly into the inkwell. He wrote, “I am well, but I really badly don’t feel like talking.”
“Oh…” Aria frowned but nodded. Aemond knew not talking would be hard for her; she always had so much to say. But she was willing to be silent for him. He could have kissed her for it.
She moved the book between them and began to open it before shutting it again, reaching over it, and grabbing Aemond’s parchment. There was little ink left in the quill, but she just managed to squeeze out, “Tap my hand when you want to turn the page.”       
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It felt like everyone in the whole world was looking at Arianwyn. It was certainly everyone in her world.
The king and queen. Aegon, Helaena, and Aemond. Princess Rhaenys and Lord Corlys. Ser Criston Cole. All her guards from Runestone. The Grand Maester and Orwyle. The other lords of the Small Council. Countless other lords and ladies that Arianwyn had met but did not remember well.
Ser Gerold had arrived only the day before with several lords and ladies from Runestone and their bannermen.
Even Rhaenyra was there, though she didn’t look very happy about it. Ser Laenor was next to her, Jace and Luke in front of them, their dark eyes wide as they looked at Arianwyn and Emrys. She tried not to look at their eyes for too long – it felt rude, considering those eyes were quite the source of gossip.
“Emrys umbā, āeksio.” Elder Dantis motioned toward her now-saddled dragon. “Īlos pradagon?” Emrys is ready, lady. Shall we begin?
“Issa,” Arianwyn replied. She wasn’t quite sure whether she was really ready or not, but she couldn’t disappoint all those who had come to watch her first flight. So, she approached Emrys, stroking the smooth black scales of his snout.
He had grown impressively, now nearly twice as large as the King’s wheelhouse. According to the Dragonkeepers, it was unusual for a dragon to grow this fast away from Dragonstone or Valyria. There was much speculation about why, but Arianwyn didn’t care. She would love him no matter his size, though it did help that he was already large enough to ride.
He grumbled slightly, his icy eyes glancing at the crowd and the scales and spikes along his spine flaring. In many respects, she thought, he was quite like a spoiled cat.
“Hae urnēbosy pōnte daor gaomās,” Arianwyn whispered. Try to act like they aren’t watching us.
His grumbling turned to whining.
“Sepār zūgan,” she admitted, “yn kesir kosti. Īlon kosti gīmin. Ao kostā gīmin.” I’m nervous too, but we can do it. I know we can. I know you can.”
Emrys huffed a warm breath onto Arianwyn, a gesture of affection and conceding, before nudging her toward his side and the ropes that led to the saddle.
He did not like the saddle. That much was evident from the claw marks nearly covering the worn leather and how he would roll over on his back whenever the Dragonkeepers tried to put it on. It always took Arianwyn herself to talk him into letting them. But he was getting better about it. Slightly.
The saddle was not hers. It had been passed down in the family for generations, meant for young dragons who were still growing rapidly. Still, as Arianwyn settled into the ancient, worn leather, she could not help but think it fit her perfectly.
She dared one more glance at the crowd. The king was beaming. The queen looked as though she were about to faint. Ser Gerold and her Runestone guards looked to be somewhere between the two. Rhaenyra wasn’t even looking, though her husband and sons were.
Arianwyn looked last at her cousins. Helaena wore the same dreamy expression she always did, though her lips seemed to be moving slightly. Aegon was harder to read. She had expected him to look at her disdainfully or mockingly, but he didn’t. He looked happy, though it didn’t make much sense.
And Aemond. Her heart ached to look at him. She knew he was happy for her – more than happy, even. But being here today must also cause him such pain, driving home the fact that he still had not claimed a dragon. Guilt stung in her chest. She should have told him she wouldn’t mind if he stayed behind at the Keep.
But then, he smiled. There was still longing in his eyes for his own mount, but he smiled so brightly that Arianwyn soon smiled back, suddenly anxious to show him what she could do. She straightened her posture and grasped the reins.
“Emrys! Sōvēs!”
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By the time Emrys again landed in the courtyard of the Dragonpit, he had entirely shed his dislike of his saddle. As he flew over King’s Landing, he had trilled and hooted his delight for all to hear. Arianwyn had as well, shouting and hollering with every move – rising on an air current, diving so low Emrys’ wings skimmed the surface of Blackwater Bay, and pitching around the towers and spires of the Red Keep.
Neither had ever felt so alive. But it was time to return to the ground.
Arianwyn was swarmed the moment she dismounted.
The king reached her first, clapped her on the back, and told her how proud her father would be if he were there. It was meant to be a comfort, but she flinched at the words. If he were there. But he was never there. She was nearly ten years old, but she had never met Prince Daemon, or even received a message from him.
Fortunately, the queen noticed her discomfort and subtly pushed past her husband to embrace her. “You were brilliant, Aria,” Alicent said. “I’m so proud of you.”
“Not bad at all.” Aegon, to her surprise, had also approached. He smiled at her. “Might even call it good.”
Arianwyn rolled her eyes. “How generous of you.”
He smirked. “I’m known to be sincere on rare occasions.”
She didn’t have a chance to snap back at him before she was lifted into the air and spun around. Ser Gerold held her close to his chest, and she swore she heard tears in his voice. “A dragon riding Royce! Who could have ever guessed? Oh, if only your mother could see this.”
“Would she be happy?” Arianwyn was suddenly gripped with fear that her mother would disapprove of her riding Emrys. Perhaps it was too far from Royce tradition for the late Lady of Runestone to tolerate.
Gerold lifted her so she could look directly into his dark gray eyes. “If your mother saw you now…” He really was crying now, but he smiled. “She would be so happy, Aria. She would be so thrilled that she might even ask to ride Emrys herself.”
Never able to resist his smile, Arianwyn smiled back. “Emrys isn’t quite large enough for two right now. But I would take her the moment he was.”
He finally set her down, his eyes flicking away for a moment. “I’m so proud of you, Aria. But I think there’s someone who also wants to say so.” With his hands on her shoulders, he turned her around.
Aemond was standing precisely where he was when Emrys had taken flight. He held his hands behind his back and looked away when Arianwyn met his gaze.
She had to push through more admirers – her guards, the Small Council, and other adults she couldn’t recall the names of. But they didn’t matter right now.
Yet when she stopped in front of Aemond, she didn’t know what to say. Talking about her flight might make him feel bad, but she so badly wanted to share her joy with him. Impulsively, she threw her arms over his shoulders and hugged him.
After a moment, he hugged her back.
“You’re amazing, Aria,” he whispered.
She sighed and rested her head on his shoulders. “You are, too.”
Aemond laughed almost disdainfully. Arianwyn held him tighter. “It’s true! One day, you will have a dragon, and I know you will be the fiercest rider our family has ever seen. Then, we can fly together, you and me.”
He let out a shaking breath but held her tighter, too. She could hear the faint smile in his voice. “You and me, Aria. Forever.”
“Forever.”
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Taglist: @heartb8k2 @queenofshinigamis @leptitlu @xxxkat3xxx @malfoycassimalfoy @lokiofasgard12
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I read a fanfic that was a supernatural crossover with another series, but I found it interesting that in the concept of the fanfic the Winchester sister was grieving after Sam dies at the end of season 5 and felt like she didn't fit in with Lisa and Ben, what do you think of this? I feel that it is very accurate when the Winchester sister is written as being more attached to Dean since she is basically like her father, I mean, in the same fanfic, in the protagonist's narration she says that she left because she knows that if she asks him to , Dean would leave Lisa and Ben and the protagonist wants Dean to have a family after all the shit that's happened, even if she doesn't fit into his "happy family" which I think is also very accurate. What do you think? How do you think the little sister would take "Dean's new family" and Sam's loss?
I might have read that one actually, and I think you’re right. The sister being closer to Dean would make sense, especially since Sam left for a couple of years, that would have been an even bigger deal for the little sister, who was growing up during that time.
And it totally makes sense for her to feel out of place with Lisa and Ben; she was raised by Dean, but it would be hard to turn that into somehow fitting into his family with Lisa and Ben. I think the little sister would be so happy for him, and I also think that if she asked, he’d pick her over them; but she’d never ask.
There seems to be this thing with the Winchesters—if more than one of them are together, their life isn’t normal. They only ever have normal lives if they’re the only one left (ie Dean with Lisa and Ben or Sam with mystery woman at the end of the show). So with a little sister being alive I think his life with Lisa and Ben would be more complicated.
I think the little sister would try at first, for Dean. Sam jumped into the cage, and at first Dean and the little sister just got into the Impala and sat there for so long, with no idea where to go. Then the little sister would look at Dean, and she’d know exactly what he needed even though he didn’t want to say it, because he wouldn’t think she wanted it. She’d tell him to go to Lisa, and he would listen, and for a little bit it would work—kinda. Dean would be getting happier and happier with his little family, but the little sister wouldn’t quite fit—Dean felt comfortable, he took on a “father/partner” role with Lisa and Ben. But the little Winchester wasn’t Ben’s sister, and she wasn’t Lisa’s kid—she wasn’t even technically Dean’s kid.
And on top of all that, she’s still grieving Sam. Even if she was closer to Dean, she still lost a big brother, and with Dean trying to fit into his own family, she’d start to feel like she lost two.
She would try, she really would, and I think depending on the personality of Dean’s little sister, they might actually make it work for the year—but it wouldn’t have lasted much longer. However, depending on her personality, she might give up much sooner—I have a feeling she would go to live with Bobby.
TLDR: the little sister definitely wouldn’t feel comfortable living in Lisa and Ben (and Dean’s) house, and she would struggle a lot with her grief of losing Sam mixed with her loss of connection with Dean. Dean would choose his sister over Lisa and Ben if he had to, but she would never, ever make him choose.
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mayasdeluca · 1 month
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5x16 - Carina leading the way as they start the insemination process 7x02 - Maya leading the way as they pick up their soon to be adopted son at the hospital
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skrunksthatwunk · 17 days
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playing dmc1 with my earbuds in (but on low volume bc they're being weird) while my roommate and her shitty bf argue. i feel like i'm recreating the very specific experience of some child of divorce out there
#how do i tell her she needs to break up with him immediately. posthaste.fuck it funny post over rant incoming tw emotional abuse i think#nyarla dni#(<- roomie and nyarla have met and i don't wanna air roomie's drama to ppl who know her w/o her consent. anon internet ppl only)#listen i'm normally for gentle advising and that's probably what i'll do since i don't want to stress her out but oh my fucking god what is#his problem. he's constantly putting her in these weird no-win situations where the only right answer is to never be upset or disagree or b#wrong on accident or be misunderstood by him and to tell him everything she's feeling so she's not 'playing mind games' but if she says wha#she's feeling he'll interrogate her and badger her with the same questions over and over again insisting she's unreasonable until she gives#in and says she's sorry with an attitude he likes. i fucking don't like him. and a lot of this is observations from today. the day after sh#GOT INTO A CAR ACCIDENT AND BROKE HER NECK. WHAT THE FUCK.#it's like he expects to be treated like a king on one of the worst days of her life and when she's upset he's like OH. OH I GET IT.#and lectures her on having attitude and taking things out on others when she's literally not even doing that. not to an extent that matters#anyway. like. there's more productive ways of dealing with that. where you don't treat them like a bad kid for getting overwhelmed#he has made her cry multiple times today. i have been around multiple arguments and fights and he's just genuinely. awful i hate him#hell the first argument i overheard *i* was in tears by the end (luckily they left soon after bc i had to run to the basement laundry#dungeon to bawl my eyes out because 1. i can't handle confrontation 2. i've never seen roomie cry and 3. she just seemed so hurt and tired)#anyway he just left again after a fight because. god this is so dumb. she told him to move while they were sleeping in the same twin bed#(remember she's in a neck brace) and he fucking. left the room for an HOUR bc he thought the only thing that could POSSIBLY mean (as he#insisted) was for him to get out of here and then when she was like oh hey i'm sorry i didn't mean it like that he decided to spend the nex#half hour of his short time on this earth chewing her out for not giving him a lengthy explanation while half-asleep as to like. why he#needed to move (she wanted to grab smth) and apparently he sat in the chair by her bed for like 10 mins before leaving so he probably saw#her fall back asleep. and then he got pissy when after he left she didn't pick up her phone when he was calling her? even though he knew sh#was asleep?? she didn't even know he was gone. fucking. i need to get him away from my roomie YESTERDAY#look. miscommunication happens. i'm not saying he's an asshole for wanting things said clearly. i am pro-saying what you mean.#but if every time your gf tells you what she means you make it into a 30 minute lecture (no matter how small the slight and w/o examining i#you're actually right or not) she's not gonna wanna fucking tell you if she doesn't think it's worth the argument. especially if you never#let her rest until she concedes. apology isn't enough. clarification isn't enough. she has to say how wrong she was and beg and GOD. UGHHH#and he's always on about how she hurts his feelings. a gust of wind could hurt his feelings. he's constantly berating her manipulating her#and then he's like >:( see that hurt my feelings you can't hurt ppl's feelings. you're disrespectful. HE"S THE WORST I FUCKING HATE HIM#look sometimes adversity reveals the truth of a person and this just amplified his shittiness so much. mr OH i slept in a HOSPITAL and it#was so bad... you can't be in a bad mood bc i've been doing the bare minimum and you need to prioritize MY feelings rn. also i won't leave
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aliceramblez · 3 months
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Dating the Hazbin Hotel Residents 😈
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Tags: GN!Reader, Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mentioned Mature Topics (ie. Suicidal Thoughts, Alcohol Abuse, SA, etc), Spoilers For The Show, etc.
A/N: Ahhh yes, more brainriot for the pile 😌 I was more of a Helluva gal before the show aired, but now I gotta say these blorbos are a dear part of my heart! Hopefully y'all enjoy these as much as I did writing them!
Consider following my main blog @taruchinator for more solid content & feel free to leave a request here for future HCs~
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Charlie 🌈
When the Happy Hotel first opened its doors and all of Hell started making a mockery of it, you were probably the only one who took it as a sign to try and improve from the low life that you were. It's not like you had anything else to live for, anyway.
As soon as you enter the building, you're immediately greeted by the bubbly Princess of Hell herself (along with a reluctant Angel Dust) who is more than happy to show you around and welcomes you with open arms.
You've never been shown this much kindness and sympathy for your situation before, so it naturally takes you aback and makes you wonder what the catch is. Turns out there's none and the Princess is probably the only sweet soul to live in this shithole.
As you grow closer, she asks you to drop the title and just call her Charlie. She also shares a bit about her situation and how her mother wanted to save sinners from the extermination each year, and now Charlie felt like it was her duty to continue this legacy until her dreams came true.
You can't help but feel touched over how much she cares, so you silently vow to yourself to help her in any way you can, just like she's done for you.
It doesn't take long before the two of you grow even closer and feelings begin to blossom, but you decide to ignore them since why would a Princess ever like someone like you?
But Charlie proves you wrong yet again, since one day she comes to you a blushing mess and confesses her own feelings, asking if you'd like to go out with her. You can't help but vocalize your shock since she could do so much better than a random sinner. She deserved better, too.
She looks at you with fondness in her eyes. “You've been by my side for so long and supported me every step of the way. Who wouldn't fall for someone like that?”
And thus, you are the luckiest person in Hell because you scored Charlotte Morningstar, and whoever says otherwise can get a knife to their throat.
She's the perfect definition of a sweet and patient girlfriend, never pushing you to do anything you aren't comfortable with (since you really aren't used to such adoration in a romantic relationship), but as soon as you give her the get-go, she'll be sure to shower you with as much affection as she can until the doubts in your mind disappear completely.
You aren't that far behind either. Albeit not as good as her, you do your best to be a comforting partner whenever she needs you. This is especially necessary after an extermination happens, which always leaves Charlie devastated and in need of a hug or words of encouragement because she doubts herself sometimes and wonders if the hotel is even working at all.
You remind her how it brought the two of you together, to which she smiles and agrees that at least something good has come out of it so far.
Vaggie 🎀
Both you and Vaggie used to work in the same legion under Adam with the rest of his exorcists. You knew of each other's existence, but didn't really talk much aside from whatever was needed in the midst of battle.
The day she spares a demon child's life, you're doing your rounds nearby and witness the whole exchange, including Lute coming over and ripping both an eye and Vaggie's wings for showing mercy. You don't know why, but it makes your blood boil.
“HEY! What are you doing?! It was just a kid, why not let it slide?”
And just like that, you become a target of Lute's rage as well, being ripped from your angelic status along with receiving a few nasty cuts, yet surprisingly not as bad as Vaggie herself.
Once the two of you are left to die, you immediately try to tend the girl's wounds with whatever you can. Vaggie can only stare in disbelief at what you'd done and questions why you even did so in the first place—now you were stuck just like she was.
“Guess I just don't like seeing injustice... Who knew Heaven could be so fuckin' shitty?”
You both laugh at the irony of it all, and that's when luck is finally on your side as Charlie finds you in the dirty alley and brings you back to the hotel to heal properly.
For the next three years you two stay at the Hazbin Hotel, helping Charlie in any way you can to try and make her dream a reality since deep down you hope that despite Heaven's corrupt system, there can be a small chance that souls can be redeemed. You hide the fact that you're ex-Anges though, since you don't wanna cause unnecessary drama.
During this time period, the two of you become better friends, having your own inside jokes regarding things you didn't particularly enjoy from your time as Angels, as well as learning more about one another.
You're the one to come to terms with your feelings first and decide to lay them on the table for Vaggie to see—she's always been a straight-to-the-point kind of gal, so if you're about to be rejected, might as well have it be done quick. But of course, she replies with her own declaration and desire to give a relationship a shot, which you're ecstatic about!
It's a bit hard at first since you never got to see much of romantic relationships in Heaven while training for murder every year, but you try and make it work. Both you and Vaggie work endlessly to try and make the other happy, and it only makes you fall for each other even more.
Also Charlie is your go-to wingwoman who will be there to give you the best advice to try and woo your girlfriend. She ships you two so hard.
Angel Dust 🕸
Working at a porn studio under an Overlord who owns your soul can be exhausting. You know this better than anyone since everyone who works under Valentino has contracts that won't let you get far with a leash. This is especially true with your friend Angel Dust.
You know about the things Valentino does to the spider demon—hell, everyone in the studio probably knows, but know better than to say anything about it. You're always there for Angel after particularly rough shoots, doing your best to comfort him in any way you can, though there isn't much you can do given you're in the same spot.
When he tells you he's moving to Princess Charlie's Hazbin Hotel, you're so happy for him! At least that will give him some distance from Valentino and his disgustingly filthy hands when he's not working.
This unsurprisingly doesn't bode well with the Overlord, causing him to throw fits of rage around the studio when Angel leaves for the day. You can't help but make a snarky comment that you definitely regret moments later.
“Can one blame him for wanting space from such an overbearing asshole?”
Without his favorite stress toy around, you end up paying the price for such comments. The kind of pain and suffering he puts you through is completely different from what you're used to. Is this the stuff he does to Angel? He leaves you naked, bruised and bloody in your room, and all you can do is muster what little strenght you have left to head for the Hazbin Hotel.
As soon as the door opens, you immediately tumble forward and start losing consciousness. The last thing you remember is Angel's horrified expression before it all fades to black.
Once you wake up and have been patched up, you explain what happened at the studio, and you could've sworn you saw fire in Angel's eyes as he holds on to you, fearing you might disappear at any moment. He begs you to stay in the hotel with him, and you agree without hesitation.
And so, your new routine of heading to work and then coming back to the hotel becomes blissful, not having to deal with that lunatic mothman more than necessary. You also get to spend time off with your best friend, which is always a plus.
Well, ‘best friend’ might not be the best way to describe it. You'd developed a crush on the spider demon even before this whole incident occurred, and now that you were spending more time with him, it only continued to grow.
With the line of work you two had, romantic relationships didn't seem to be a thing that crossed anybody's mind since why have a permanent partner when you could just go around fucking the hottest people in Hell? But you knew your feelings were far beyond from sexual, but didn't wanna ruin what you already had going for you.
One heartfelt drunken conversation after work however, makes you do a double take—Angel likes you back. And that both scares and excites you. But with both of you going over the pros and cons with each other, you decide to give it a chance.
You make sure to always have Angel's consent when it comes to physical intimacy—anything from holding his hand, to kissing to just cuddling. He jokes about not being a porcelain doll, but deep down you know he appreciates it.
You're also there for the rough nights, when he comes home wanting nothing more than to die again and let the earth swallow him whole. Words of reassurance are spoken and you can only hold him and let him cry as you vow to do anything in your power to stop this from happening again.
Husker 🍺
As one of the first guests of the hotel, like any wayward sinner, you find yourself in the bar more often than you'd like. Alcohol killed you in the first place, yet not even in the afterlife could you seem to pull yourself from its grasp.
It's a somewhat welcome surprise to find out that the bartender is going through a similar struggle. He still serves you drinks and lends and ear whenever he's not busy, but will occasionally drop the words of wisdom to watch your fill.
Eventually you two find yourselves doing this little back and forth and aid each other when you're in your dark places—Husk won't let you near the bottle if he sees you're about to knock yourself out, meanwhile you're there to look after him when he has one too many drinks and can't take care of himself.
Not to say he isn't a good drinking buddy—you've found out most of the gossip around the hotel thanks to this sneaky little cat demon and there's never a dull moment with him around.
You learn about his deal with Alastor during a particularly bad night, when Husk's had one too many and isn't thinking straight. You don't bring it up, but now have an eye open for whenever the Radio Demon drags your friend away.
Angel's the one who brings up your questionable relationship to the surface.
“So... you two like, fuckin' each other, or what?”
Your entire face goes red, and if it weren't for the dark fur you could swear you see Husk looking the same. He's quick to get rid of Angel's nosy ass, but now the seed has been planted in your brain—do you like Husk that way?
After careful consideration, you come to the conclusion that yes, you do. And it's honestly kinda terrifying considering how relationships don't usually work out in Hell, at least from what you've seen. Besides, even if you did try and confess, there was always the possibility of him not feeling the same and just being embarrassed by Angel's comment.
So in an attempt to make your feelings disappear, you stop frequenting the bar. Who knew the best way to stop drinking habits was trying to avoid spending time with your unrequited crush?
But of course, Husk isn't stupid. He sees the change in your behavior and let's it slide for a while, until he eventually corners you and asks what's wrong. You decide to get it all out of the way and tell him how you feel.
To the embarrassment of both of you, he holds your hand firmly between his and darts his eyes toward the corner of the room. “Next time you should ask before going off assuming things, ya got it?”
And so, your glass may have been empty that day, but your heart had never felt fuller.
Sir Pentious 🐍
You meet Sir Pentious when you sign into the hotel, and your immediate thought is just how can this snake man be so adorkable, it should be illegal.
As you greet the other residents and staff, you're quick to strike a conversation with him, which based on his body language he was not expecting. He starts telling you a bit about his weaponry and other contraptions, and you can't help but be fascinated by it.
You're a bit of a tinkerer yourself, albeit you've only dabbled in small scale projects—nothing compared to the massive canons and aircrafts that Pentious seems to be familiar with.
He acts like a kid opening gifts on Sinmas when he talks to you about his inventions, clearly never having anyone show interest before. Eventually he'll even ask for your input on certain smaller projects he wants to work on to help around the hotel, all to thank Charlie for being so kind to him and giving him a second chance. You're obviously eager to help!
You two start spending so much time together that the egg boys have started calling you ‘Boss #2’, much to Pentious' embarrassment and your amusement.
One afternoon once exercises are done for the day, the snake demon seems much more fidgety than usual as he invites you over to his room to continue working on his security system prototype. He's a blabbering mess once he has you sitting down and your heart just can't help but swell at each little syllable.
“Dearest (y/n)... you've, um, well... you are a huge inspiration for my work! A-And I wouldn't have been able to create any of this... without your help. You are kind, and smart and very talented.... and w-well, um I-”
You gotta silence the man with a kiss otherwise you two would be here all day. He's puddy in your hands and you can only giggle in return. “I really like you too, Pen.”
Everyone is either saying they called it or groaning in annoyance because fucking FINALLY, you two were just dancing around each other like idiots. The egg boys are just so happy to have someone else besides Pentious to be in their lives, and will do their best to look out for you just like with their own boss.
So yeah, prepare yourself for some sickeningly sweet gestures from this guy cause he will go above and beyond to get you what you need/want even if it kills him (again). And you can confidently say that you'd do the same in return.
Alastor 📻
After running in the same circles when you were alive, it's no surprise to you to end up in Hell, although you never would've suspected that you'd find yourself in the same place as him. It was honestly a huge relief not having to go through this all by yourself.
As Alastor exerted his dominance over Hell as the Radio Demon, you were powerful enough to be an Overlord yes, but rather liked keeping it on the down low instead of making a spectacle of yourself (Alastor was the one for theatrics anyway). Because of this, only select few knew of your true power and what you were capable of.
Instead, if there was one thing you were known for, it was being the only soul allowed to be close to the Radio Demon without the risk of death.
Yes, Alastor was a sadistic, cold-blooded and egotistical mastermind, but he wasn't a monster. You knew that better than anyone. Although the reactions he had to other demons treating you like a joke or calling you the ‘Radio Demon's Pet’ were not helping his case.
“ł₣ ɎØɄ V₳ⱠɄɆ ɎØɄⱤ ₴ØɄⱠ, ɎØɄ ₩łⱠⱠ ₩₳Ⱡ₭ ₳₩₳Ɏ Ɽł₲Ⱨ₮ ₦Ø₩ ฿Ɇ₣ØⱤɆ ł Ɽł₱ ł₮ ₳₱₳Ɽ₮ ฿ł₮ ฿Ɏ ฿ł₮...”
“Al, chill. You're gonna make them shit their pants.”
After his seven year absence, you immediately noticed something was wrong with him, and wouldn't stop pestering until he told you the truth—A deal he made and how his soul was now bound to someone much more powerful than he was.
You were obviously mortified and started looking into ways to try and find a loophole to this, but alas the Radio Demon would just give you his signature grin and tell you not to worry about it. It was his battle to face.
But of course you're quick to remind him that you've stuck together through thick and thin even in life, so there was no way you were letting him handle this by himself. You work as a team—always have and always will. You engulf him in a hug.
“We're gonna figure this out, Al. I promise...”
The grin remains, but his eyes widen slightly in surprise. He hesitantly returns the embrace, patting your back and wiping the tears you didn't even know you were shedding.
“There there~ To think such a sweet and innocent soul wound up in a gutter like this. I cannot say I complain as long as I have your delightful company beside me.”
And so when he says he has a plan that involves Princess Charlie Morningstar and her new Happy Hotel, you follow along. Whatever fate has in store for you two, you'll be ready.
Also Charlie is a sweetheart who could do no harm. Knowing Alastor, he'll probably do whatever he can here and there to help around for the cause. You also offer your services as an undercover Overlord, much to everyone's surprise when you reveal your status.
The Radio Demon may have a plan, but something tells you it won't involve bloody murder (unless extremely necessary or if someone really pissed him off).
Like you said—he's not a monster.
Lucifer 🍎
You and Lucifer were good friends at the beginning of Creation. While you were stuck with the tedious task of designing blueprints for the new ‘Human Project’ that headquarters had in store, Lucifer's Seraphim status allowed him to bring creations to life with the flick of a wrist, much to your delight and wonder.
His ideas and pitches for Earth were always so entertaining to listen to, and you would do your best to encourage him to show them to the higher ups to get them approved—His mind was just filled with joy and love and wonder that you'd never seen before.
Which was why it was always so disappointing whenever he'd come back and say that he was shut down and even mocked at. How could Heaven shut down such an imaginative mind in the creation of their biggest project yet?
To say you were devastated when you heard about his fall would be an understatement. You mourned the loss of your friend, knowing that he'd done nothing wrong and thinking it wasn't fair to him to receive such punishment just because he cared for the future of humanity.
Thousands of years later, you overhear the plan for Extermination of Hell kind. You didn't mean to walk by, yet here you were, under the direct eye of the Head Seraphims about to be downcast for something you had no control over—just like Lucifer.
“You're all self-entitled pricks! You think you can do whatever you want just because it doesn't follow what you define as good!”
You get a few good arguments before being cast downwards, leaving you in bad shape in a random alley with no wings and no means of escape. That is of course, until destiny seems to be on your side and Lucifer finds you, completely perplexed to see you here at all.
After getting treated, you tell him about the Extermination so he and Hell can prepare. The conversation of you getting cast down by Heaven gets glossed over, but he can feel the fury building up inside him. You were always doing things by the book—how could they do this to you?
Once the slaughter is over, Lucifer gets a meeting with Heaven and secures protection for both his daughter Charlie and you, to which they begrudgingly agree to keep him outta their hair. You can't help but feel touched by this gesture.
He's also quick to offer you a room to stay in, but you compromise by living in a seperate building from him and Charlie so you aren't a bother even though he says you aren't. In fact, ever since Lilith left, he's had to take care of his young daughter all by himself, so he's more than happy when you offer to help.
It doesn't take long for your feelings to start coming into the surface from all those years ago, and you gotta push them away because he's both married and has a child to look after! Besides, why would the King of Hell ever look in your direction?
Eventually though, he brings up the question with nothing but sweaty palms and a customized rubber ducky that says ‘I love you’ whenever you squeeze it. You blush furiously, but can't help but bring up your concerns, not wanting to replace Lilith in his heart. He looks into your eyes and says that he hasn't been as happy as he is now in the past thousand years.
Cue baby Charlie walking in on everything, and she just smiles and goes innocently. “Daddy! Is (y/n) staying home with us now?”
You two can only chuckle at the cuteness of it and you immediately go to hug her. You couldn't believe that you were blessed with such a wonderful family.
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AITAH for telling my wife no?
My wife (35f) and I (38m) have been married for 12 years, dated for 3 before that. We have 3 kids (10m, 7f, and 5f). We both work full time in separate fields, she does some chemistry thing that I don't understand and I am a manager at a computer repair store my friend runs, and also a short story writer when its slow. She is definitely the breadwinner bill payer between the two of us, but I bring in the fun money for our family and would be completely listless if I didn't at least work part time. We also fully own our home because of her job.
Also, my parents watch the kids for us during the week when we are working. It's been this way since our son was born, and they've been doing it less since they are all in school. But it's free childcare, they refuse to accept money unless it's reimbursing for buying food.
Ok, now that all of that backstory is set, here's where the problem begins.
A couple of months ago my wife started pepper into conversations about a possible promotion coming up that would get her out of the lab and into a more "manage the lab team" position, with less dangerous hours for more pay. Ever since the first time she mentioned it I've been hyping her up and telling her she's a shoo in for the promotion, especially since she's been working there since her masters internship and now she has a PhD.
Last night she told me she was getting word today if she got it! After she left for work this morning I called my boss up and told him I couldn't come in today, and then told my parents the kids were saying with me. We spent the day cleaning the house, drawing congratulations cards, and making a congratulations banner. We also made a couple cards that say sorry and we love you for if she didn't get it. I was working on making her favorite dinner (lobster rolls with lobster bisque, because she's a fancy lady) when she got home earlier than normal. Everyone was surprised, because noone is usually home at this time and yet here everyone was. She got tears in her eyes seeing everything we were still working on, got down and hugged our two youngest, and said she got the promotion! Cheering all around! And that's when she dropped the bomb, saying we need to get a realtor in a state three away from us so we can relocate within the next two months.
I was stunned, and just said no, we arent moving for this promotion. In all of her talks she never mentioned that the promotion wasn't for the same location she's been at. All of our family is here, her parents and mine, all of our friends are here, my job is here. She insisted that she's mentioned relocating before but I swear she never did. That set of a completely new argument about never listening to her and only hearing what I want to hear, and how this will make it so I can stay home with the kids and not even need a fun money job. During this I noticed she was typing on her phone, and when I asked why she was multitasking an argument she said she was texting my parents to get the kids so they don't have to see this.
When my parents got here they congratulated her on the promotion and asked how long until we move.
She told my parents the promotion included relocation.
I'm typing this on the couch in the basement, because I can't face her right now. My parents knowing means she probably did say we would need to move if she got it. I don't want to move, I like my job, and our house. I like being near my parents. I know this would practically set us for life but I don't want to. I know I'm being selfish, and I know I must not be listening when she talks, but I still don't think she should accept the promotion. I still think no.
What are these acronyms?
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nathaslosthershit · 2 months
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Teen Dad (OP81)
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(Part 1 of the Blind Item Series) (Part 1 of the Teen Dad OP AU)
Summary: Rumors are flying about a young driver with kids
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Seeing the rumor, and various other tweets commenting on the matter, first thing this morning was like getting a bucket of ice water dumped on him. Oscar immediately sat up, frightening his fiancée who was asleep next to him a moment before.
“What? What's wrong? Are you okay?” she asked, sitting up.
“Fuck this is not good.” He mumbled as he looked through more tweets. He knew he had minutes before his PR team started messaging him on how best to proceed. 
“Osc, you are really scaring me. What is going on?” His fiancée asked again. After 5 years together and two kids, she knew him well enough to know that Oscar isn’t easily woken up. While he usually wakes up early to train or help the kids, on days like today where he has the chance to sleep in, he will usually take it. But the amount of notifications he started getting were enough to get him to check his phone and once he saw the severity of the situation he was awake and alarmed. 
“A blind item about a ‘younger f1 driver with two kids he had as a teen’ just went up. No confirmation on who but it seems they have gotten it down to only a few of us. They don’t know yet but I am sure they will know soon.” 
He was grateful they hadn’t clocked in on him but Oscar was sure with a bit more time to dig people would put two and two together. He wasn’t ashamed of the fact that he was a teen dad, not anymore at least. When he was even more so an up and coming driver, he kept it hush because he was nervous being 18 with two kids would lead teams to reconsider where his priorities were, his family or his career. That wouldn’t have been crazy of them to do though, as important as racing was to Oscar, he would always pick his family first. Luckily, though, he had a great enough support system so he didn't have to choose. 
Most people in Oscar’s life knew. Any teams apart from Prema, Mclaren, and Alpine were none the wiser but why would they need to know? Not all drivers knew either, some who he had become closer to were let in on the secret, especially Logan, who had been there the entirety of his kids' lives. Annoyingly, at least in Oscar’s opinion, he has been titled ‘the cool uncle’ from day one. 
“What do we do?” his fiancée asked, snapping him out of his spiraling.
“I imagine it is up to my team to figure that one out. I’ll message them now. Get the kids ready and I’ll be done in time to help with breakfast.” He said as he got up.
After a long, pretty impromptu, call, it was decided Oscar would make a statement about it before it was revealed to be him. He wasn’t too happy about not getting to really do it on his own terms but this is the way it worked out, and hey, Oscar would be lying if he said he wasn’t already planning which race he was going to bring his kids to first.
oscarpiastri
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liked by mclaren, logansargeant, landonorris, and 518,294 others
oscarpiastri This is of course not how I wanted to do this. I had hoped to have more time before I had to let the peace of privacy go but these things happen when you are in the spotlight. So yes, I am a father of two great kids and I have been since I was 18. I am not ashamed by the fact I was a teen dad, and am certainly not hiding my kids out of anything but love. I hadn’t realized I could truly love anything or anyone more than racing but then these two came into my life and I realized I would give it all up for them. Luckily, with the support of their mother (who is my fiancée) and my family, I didn’t have to give it up. My four person family means more to me than anything and I count my lucky stars each night that I have been blessed with them. I ask that you please respect our privacy. This isn’t the end of you seeing the Piastri twins but I, being the over protective father I am, am not ready to throw two 3 year olds into the chaos of the motorsport world just yet.
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Part 2: A Much Needed Interview out now!
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wileys-russo · 21 days
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filling the void (5) II a.putellas x sister!reader
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prequel one two three four
warning for just like...a lot of angst? but also, some more steps forward and a little comfort filling the void (5) II a.putellas x sister!reader
"because the last time someone i loved when into hospital, he never came back."
after hearing that alexia's blood ran cold and she stepped away, wanting to give you a little privacy as her ears burned from already having heard too much.
she settled herself on the lounge trying to focus on finding something to watch, pretending like she wasn't fighting every temptation to grab you and pull you into a hug and never ever let go again.
a short while later you returned, alexia glancing at you and trying not to notice the obvious tear tracks on your face as you mumbled something about using the bathroom and darted away.
washing your face you spared no time going through your usual skin care routine, trying to shake the piercing anxiety in the back your head about your mami and her condition.
you padded into your room and with the weather taking an oddly cool turn tonight you rummaged around your wardrobe looking for your favourite hoodie.
you let out a squeal as you tugged at something and suddenly a bag tumbled down onto your head. swearing under your breath you bent down to repack its contents, making a mental note that you needed to donate the old clothes inside you'd had sitting there for far too long.
but it was something entirely unexpected that had your breath catching, having forgotten about it all together since you'd stuffed it into the bag intending to donate it alongside your clothing you'd grown out of.
you sat cross legged on the floor holding it in your hands, staring at it as memories flooded your mind and you were so caught up in them you didn't even hear alexia call out to check you were okay after hearing the thump of the bag falling.
when you didn't respond she came to check on you, her head peering around your doorway and curious hazel eyes softening as they found you. calling out again you didn't hear her, only becoming somewhat aware of your sisters presence as she carefully took a seat beside you, not too close but still enough that you knew she was there.
seeing the turmoil of emotions flashing through your eyes as you stared at it in your hands once again alexia wanted nothing more than to wrap you in a bone crushing hug and never let you go again, determined to protect you from the world and all the pain that came with it.
but the warnings of both her mami and her girlfriend echoed in her mind and she ignored the itching in her hands to reach for you, knowing that especially now more than ever she needed to let you come to her.
her own eyes falling on the object clutched tightly in your hands brought forth an entire sea of unique memories and emotions for your sister, at first taking her back to a time in which you needed her and she needed you just as much if not more.
and when you'd all lost him was a feeling that no amount of time passed would ever make alexia forget.
she'd been stood at his bed with alba by her side, holding his hand and telling him about the match she'd played that afternoon and the goal she'd scored and dedicated to him.
he'd smiled tiredly but barely had the energy to hold his eyes open let alone speak, and neither alexia or alba could stand the silence so they made sure never to allow it to grow, filling every quiet pocket with a new story or comment.
eli was sat in the chair on his other side, hand settled on his head and a watchful eye on a much younger you who was sat on the floor playing with a handful of matchbox cars, the small pieces of metal some of the only reminders you'd have of your papi as you grew older.
he had a friend at work whose wife worked in the factory where they were made, and every now and then he'd come home and gift you with a new one.
growing up a family of three kids meant you weren't always rewarded with the luxury of new toys or new books or new games, all three of you lived in hand me downs or homemade clothes for most of your childhood, not that you minded.
"fresa." eli warned softly as you made a rather loud noise mimicking an engine, smashing one of the cars into the leg of the chair you were sat by and nearly toppling it over, catching her eye and falling quiet.
you were again far too young to understand the truth of what was happening, and as you grew older your family all fell into a silent agreement that perhaps they'd kept you a little too sheltered around what was really going on.
which was why when a large group of family members arrived, visitors having been in and out all day saying their prayers or goodbyes, you looked up in confusion. you frowned as one of your tio's pinched your cheek hello and his wife gave you a weird watery smile.
your confusion grew as the crowd of people around your papi all fussed over him, some of them with tears in their eyes as one of your tia's began to pray, tightly holding your mami's hand.
"hey fresita, lets go for a walk?" you met your eldest sisters eye as she now crouched down beside you, a tired smile on her face as she sensed you were beginning to become overwhelmed at not understanding what was going on.
as you nodded your sister lifted you up and onto her hip, aware you were starting to become a little bigger and heavier but still she would hold and carry you for as long as you let her.
"my cars." you struggled for a moment in her grip as she let you down, kneeling and opening the backpack she'd packed for you when eli couldn't, zipping it up once your cars were safely inside and helping you shrug it on before picking you up again
"alba, venga hermana." alexia softly tapped her younger sisters shoulder who had moved aside to allow older family members to be by the bedside, hugging herself and stood in the corner.
eli caught her eldest daughter eye as she finished her prayer, sending her an appreciative smile before her attention was captured again and alexia left the room, you on her hip and alba tucked into her side.
not a word was said between the three of you as alexia tried to ignore the sad looks tossed your way by the nurses at the ward desk as you passed, knowing all too well which room you'd come from and the inevitable outcome which could happen any day now.
"can we get food?" you finally broke the silence, a small chuckle leaving both your sisters mouths as you all stepped into the elevator. "sí pequeña, we can get food." alexia bounced you as you smiled and nodded.
"mami usually brings snacks when we go out." the seemingly innocent and harmless comment had the air sucked right out of the confined space of the elevator, both of your sisters faces hardening.
"mami is just looking after papi right now fresa. but you will always have me and alba to look after you, vale?" alexia promised firmly, kissing your cheek as you nodded, her smile growing just slightly as you kissed her cheek in return.
"thats why you're my best friend ale." you yawned a little tiredly, head resting on her shoulder as the elevator opened now reaching the ground floor. "hey what about me?" alba protested, moving to your other side and poking at you making you grin and push her hand away.
"alexia is my best friend, you're alexias best friend, and im your best friend." you explained as alba ohh'd with an over enthusiastic nod. "what if you're not my best friend?" she teased with a smile as you frowned unhappily.
"only joking fresita, you might be annoying but you will always be my best friend." alba smiled as you huffed. "you're annoying, and old and grumpy." you stuck your tongue out which she returned.
"yeah? well when you're older and grumpier i promise to be just as annoying as you are and we'll see how you like it!" you squirmed as her fingers tickled your sides and you kicked your legs at her, alexia smiling at the interaction and kissing your head.
placing you down she gave alba some money and sent her off to the canteen to get some food for the three of you, noticing that the moment she put you down you hugged her leg, eyes roaming the hospital nervously.
she couldn't blame you, alexia hated it here and she knew what it meant. for you this was probably much more overwhelming, not understanding anything but easily able to pick up on the chaos of it all.
there were women crying, children yelling, nurses and doctors talking in serious tones with serious faces, machines beeping, weird smells, beds with wheels being pushed around and very tired looking people sleeping on them.
just last week you'd accidentally seen a man be wheeled past whose leg was split wide open down to the bone, eli barely able to cover your eyes in time as he was rushed past and you were quickly handed over to alba who raced you outside for some fresh air as your eyes filled with tears.
so as you clung to her leg and stared around clearly on the brink of distress your sister tugged gently on your collar gaining your attention as you looked up at her and she nodded her head forward, taking your hand and walking.
alexia walked the two of you in the direction of the gift store, scooping you back up onto her hip as she entered and sent the woman at the counter a small smile.
"we gettin something for papi?" you questioned with a small frown as alexia shook her head. "no, for you." she poked at your nose, soft smile growing as your face lit up. "really?" you asked happily as alexia nodded and walked the pair of you around for awhile.
"what about this?" alexia grabbed a small red bear she spied hidden beneath a pile of stuffed animals, balancing you on her hip with one hand as she held it up with the other.
"its red like a strawberry!" you chirped happily in approval making your sister laugh. "you and your strawberries. no wonder we call you fresa, you will one day turn into a strawberry." you giggled as she poked at your stomach but handed you the bear.
"will not!" "will too!" "will not!" "will too."
"what are you gonna name it nena?" alexia questioned once she'd paid for the small bear and placed you back down on your feet, one of your hands securely held in hers as the other hugged your new friend and the two of you headed toward the canteen to find alba.
"red." you stated as alexia gave you a funny look. "you are calling it red?" your sister questioned as you again nodded, giving it a kiss and tucking it under your arm.
"thats a colour though hermanita, don't you want to give it a real name?" alexia asked as you shook your head. "red is a real name! its her name." you were undeterred, spotting alba and trying to run toward her but your sisters grip on your hand prevented so.
"no running please fresa, not here." alexia warned gently as you nodded and hugged red, mumbling an apology as your sister brushed a few stray flyaway hairs out of your face.
"look!" you presented your new friend to your other sister who scooted her chair back, allowing you to climb up and into her lap as alexia sat across from her, a tray of food sat on the table in between them.
"her name is red, ale got her for me." you proudly announced as alba snickered. "red? thats just st-" the girl started, hissing as alexia kicked her under the table and shot her a warning look. "thats very cute fresita." alba looked down at your tiny hopeful face and pinched your cheek, kissing your forehead and encouraging you to eat.
once the three of you finished your food you made your way back toward the room, your new little friend working wonders to brighten your mood as you chattered your sisters ears off, your hand again held tightly in alexias much larger one to stop you running off.
though as you all arrived and alexia heard the sound of eli's sobs, clearly taking a private moment with her husband now she was alone with him, alexia stopped in her tracks as her stomach lurched hearing the foreign noise.
of course everyone had cried the moment he fell sick, even more when despite the best efforts it was deemed terminal and there was no longer anything that could be done, it was just a matter of waiting as the days passed and his condition deteriorated.
knowing that not with bad intentions your chatter and questions would likely make things worse alexia didn't continue forward, exchanging a look with alba as they held a quick silent conversation and nodded in agreement.
"hey i wanna see mami and papi." you frowned as alexia turned and headed back for the elevator, near dragging you with her now as you fought to tug your hand free.
"i wanna show them red! ale stop, let go!" your sister winced at the sob you let out when she didn't do as you asked. instead she pulled you with her and alba back to the elevator, your cries echoing throughout the ward as alba nudged her and as soon as alexia let go you tried to run but alba was faster.
"no! put me down! no no!" you struggled in her grip, your arms pinned to your side as you tried hitting out at her, not understanding why they wouldn't let you go back to the room as instead you were back in the elevator again.
"hey hey fresa, look at me nena por favor." your body heaved as you sniffled and choked back a sob, alexia cradling your face in her heads which had gone bright red. "breathe hermana, in and out." she cooed softly as you hiccuped and shook your head.
"i wanna see mami!" you choked out, alba rubbing gently at your back. "mami needs some adult time with papi, you can see her later promesa." alexia promised, swiping at the tears which leaked from the corners of your eyes.
"now." you huffed stubbornly as alexia shook her head. "no fresa, later. there is a garden here, do you want to go see it?" you hesitated at that, albas hand still rubbing at your back as you slowly nodded.
"okay. now can you breathe please hermanita? in and out." again your sister demonstrated as you copied, yours a little shakier as by the time you all exited the elevator you'd calmed yourself down a little with her help.
the three of you walked in silence out to the small courtyard garden in the middle of the hospital, alba putting you down as her and alexia sat down at a bench and you wandered off with red still in their sights.
a sniffle broke the silence which still grew between them, alexia glancing to her side to see her younger sister wiping at her eyes with the edge of her sleeve, head turned away from her.
"ven aquí hermana." alexia spoke softly, lifting her arm and pulling the younger girl into a tight hug, her head resting on alexia's shoulder as the sniffles continued, the eldest putellas fighting back tears of her own knowing now she needed to be strong.
alba hurried to try and hide her tears as you returned but you'd already seen them, frowning up at her as she tried to smile. "you sad?" you asked your sister as alexia lifted you up to stand on the bench in between them.
"a little, estoy bien." alba assured with another sniffle, taken a little off guard as you launched at her, wrapping your arms tightly around her neck. "its okay to be sad al." you patted her back making both girls smile.
you had always been an affection person especially when you were younger, your entire family quite affectionate it was no surprise but it was during this time that your hugs meant that little bit more even if you were too young to realise why.
"gracias fresita, te quiero." alba whispered, more tears welling up at the gesture as you hugged her tightly, red clutched in one hand. alexia watched on with a fond smile, still swallowing her own emotions and pushing them down for the sake of her sisters.
she was the eldest, it was her job to look after the two of you and make sure you were okay first, her needs came second and she was fine with that if it meant you and alba were as okay as you could be and knew that she would be there for both of you anytime and anyway needed.
but that didn't mean that you both didn't pick up on her needs every now and then too. which is exactly why when you deemed alba was okay your small form latched onto alexia next, arms slung around her neck as she squeezed you.
"estoy bien pequeña." alexia assured as you let go, your sister moving you to stand on her knees as your hands grabbed at her shoulders to steady yourself. "everyone needs a hug sometimes and you said mine are the best." you reminded making both girls chuckle.
"i did say that didn't i? and they are the very best fresa, the very very best."
your papi passed away in his sleep that night, and it was more than assured to say that your hugs were in high high demand.
"red." you finally spoke, still looking down at the bear in your hands as alexia hummed, meeting your eyes and sending you a small smile before your gaze dropped again.
a soft smile curled into your own features as your finger traced over the faded red bear, tugging gently at the small sweater which it wore that of course had a strawberry right in the centre. "i remember when abuela knitted that." alexia spoke up again nodding to the item of clothing.
"mami had to hand wash it because i kept trying to feed red strawberries and got it all dirty." you puffed air from your nose, the closest thing to a laugh you could manage now still swamped beneath the symphony of memories, thoughts and feelings washing down over you.
"abuela gave it to me at papi's funeral." you remembered, thumb rubbing small circles against a particularly faded patch of fur, just as you used to do whenever you were nervous about something and much much younger, always having red with you through it all.
another bout of silence fell between you two until eventually alexia decided to test the waters.
"can i ask you something hermana?" your sister asked gently as you nodded, still focused down on the bear in your hands not having paid it a single thought for a long time now, the moment you started to feel your sisters pulling away had red shoved out of sight as well, a little too painful in a different way all together than you had felt before.
"is it because of him that you don't want to go and see mami in hospital?" alexia didn't even need to specify who as your stomach clenched uncomfortably and the anxiety returned, your chest tightening a little.
you took a moment and for a second alexia feared she'd crossed a line, readying an apology but you nodded before she could say another word, a cocktail of both sadness and relief flooding her body.
"but i don-" you looked up and started as your sister shook her head, tentatively reaching a hand out to rest it on your shoulder, again relieved when you made no move to push it off.
"we do not need to talk about it now if you don't want to. but i meant what i said, you will always have me to look after you hermana. i have not been very good at showing that lately and i do not know how else to say sorry with words-" her hand moved slowly to rest on your cheek and again you made no move to push her away.
"-but i have to let my actions show it now. and i love you fresa, very much. mami will be okay, but i promise you that you would never ever be alone." you could only give a stiff nod at her words, your sister sensing you were slightly overwhelmed and removing her hand, slowly getting up to her feet.
"buenas noches hermana, i am just down the hall if you need anything." alexia promised softly as again you nodded, sending her a tiny smile but even that was reward enough for alexia as she left you and headed for her childhood room.
as everything crashed down on you your body plunged into exhaustion, forcing yourself up and kicking aside the bag of clothes, tiredly rubbing your eyes and closing your bedroom door with a soft click.
nobody would know but you, but as you slipped into bed and flicked off your lamp, red was clutched tightly in your hands as your eyes slammed shut and you fell into a dreamless sleep.
alexia on the other hand was wide awake, wandering around her childhood room which felt like a time capsule, hardly changed since the day she moved out.
rummaging through her wardrobe she froze seeing a faded nike box pushed up against the back, hidden behind a stack of old textbooks which she quickly moved out of the way, coughing slightly as she blew off the thin layer of dust which coated the top.
taking a seat on her bed she placed the box down in front of her, gingerly opening the top and her body going limp as it was confirmed the contents were indeed what she thought they might be.
before she had time to rifle through and look at anything her phone rang and she jumped in surprise, her girlfriends contact name and number flashing across the screen as alexia clicked answer.
"hola mi amor." the older girl greeted which was returned, the two catching up about their days as olga pretended not to notice that part of alexia asking so many questions about her girlfriends day was to avoid speaking much about hers.
though with some gentle prompting she opened up a little, olga listening attentively as she did. "red is an adorable name." olga chuckled in an attempt to ease the obvious emotional discourse the blonde was feeling after she'd explained the backstory to the small bear.
"its a colour, not a name mi vida." "you could argue that fresa is a fruit, not a name amor." olga countered, stunning alexia into silence for a moment. "see? you cannot disagree." her girlfriend laughed as alexia sighed but agreed none the less.
"then i found a box in my wardrobe, i forgot it was there but i tore my room apart when i moved trying to find it to take with me and i thought someone had thrown it away." alexia admitted as olga hummed.
"its my fresa box." the blonde murmured quietly, switching her girlfriend to facetime and propping her phone up on the nightstand and moving around a little.
"your fresa box?" olga encouraged her to elaborate but gently, not wanting to push her as she could clearly see the pain masked in her lovers eyes, her poker face unreadable to most but olga could always see right through it.
"sí. it has notes, drawings, holiday cards, pictures, all things she gave and made me when she was little." a fond smile curled into alexia's features as she carefully rifled through the box, holding things up to show her girlfriend whose own face was filled with joy at the sight.
"fresa wrote all of that?" olga asked with raised eyebrows and a grin as alexia finished reading out an essay you'd had to write in school about your hero, and you'd chosen alexia.
"oh mi amor." olgas tone softened seeing the singular tear escaped the corner of her lovers eye, quickly wiped away as alexia cleared her throat. "hey, ale. don't do that, you don't need to run away from your feelings with me." olga promised as alexia attempted to change subject.
"i just-" alexia tried to speak but could only shake her head, no words coming out despite just how much she had to say. "you miss her cariño, sí?" olga echoed softly as alexia nodded.
"and this is probably how she has felt if not worse when she thought alba and i did not care about her anymore. i made her feel like this! my fresa." alexia managed out, eyes squeezed shut as she inhaled shakily, her girlfriend encouraging her to breathe slowly while still assuring it was okay for her to feel this way, it was okay for her to cry.
"she loves you alexia, she always will. you know how you made her feel which is why you will not let it happen again, and you have the rest of your life to prove that to her amor." olga promised sincerely as alexia nodded, wiping quickly at the corner of her eye with the collar of her shirt.
"i remember this." alexia was even faster to change topics, grabbing out a drawing as her girlfriend watched three or four different emotions flicker through her hazel eyes before she turned the page.
"your tattoo." olga smiled in recognition as alexia nodded, the drawing in question one you'd done for her not long after juame had passed and you'd returned to school, still not quite understanding that he wouldn't be coming home again.
alexia's head was covered with a hood, ignoring the pitying looks of the parents around her who had obviously heard what happened, hoping the scowl on her face would ward off any attempts at talking to her.
though it melted the moment she locked eyes with you, unable to resist smiling at the way your eyes lit up and you sprinted toward her, seemingly never any less excited to see her despite the fact she picked you up from school practically every day.
"catch me!" alexia bent down and scooped you up as you dropped your backpack and leapt at her, but she didn't spin you around like normal and gently pushed away your hand when you tried to pull her hood down to see her properly.
"you're not going to football?" you asked a little confused as why your sister wasn't dressed for training like normal and she shook her head wordlessly, grabbing your backpack in her free hand and quickly leaving before anyone had the chance to try and talk to her.
though apparently she wasn't fast enough as someone called out her name and she sighed recognizing your teacher waving her down as she lingered at the school gates and contemplated for a moment just making a run for it.
"stay here please fresa." you were placed back down on your feet and the oddly serious tone of your sisters voice had you rooted in place as alexia stepped away for a moment to speak with your teacher.
"lo siento for the bother alexia, i was going to call your mami but i am sure there is a lot going on at home." the woman started gently as alexia gave a tight lipped smile and crossed her arms across her chest, keeping one eye on you over the womans shoulder as one of your classmates had wandered over to chat with you.
"look i just-your hermana drew something in class today, a picture of your family." the woman started as alexia's eyebrows furrowed slightly. "she draws every day." her reply was sharp, clearly thinking this was a waste of time.
"no no lo siento, a picture of all your family. i complimented her on it and she said it was all of you in heaven visiting your papi, and that she really hoped you would all be able to go there to see him there soon." the womans words were much softer now and concern was clear in her eyes for what the younger girls reaction would be who stayed silent.
"i didn't want to overstep by correcting her. but alexia, if you or your familia need anything, please know i am here." the woman promised as alexia swallowed a lump in her throat and nodded, mumbling out a quiet gracias and turning quickly to head back toward you.
"venga fresa." your sister held her hand out which you grabbed, waving goodbye to your friends as the two of you left the school, alexia stuck in her thoughts and only half listening as you started to chatter on about your day as you always would.
"ale." she came to at a tug on her sleeve, looking down at you. "lo siento nena, what did you need?" she stopped walking and bent down to your height with a tired smile which didn't reach her eyes as you pointed to your backpack.
presenting it to you you unzipped it, shoving your arm in and feeling around with a frown before pulling out an apple as alexia made a face. "fresa i packed this for you on monday!" she cringed plucking it from your hand and glancing around before tossing it into a bush.
"i drew this for you." you finally found what you were looking for, offering her a piece of paper. swallowing hard alexia's eyes roamed the artwork and a lump formed in her throat as your teachers words came to fruition.
"its you and me and alba and mami and papi in heaven! you were sad this morning so i drew it for you. maybe we can go see papi in heaven today? i did a drawing for him too." your little face was filled with such innocence and hope it crushed alexia's heart like someone ran over her with a truck as she wanted to throw up.
"no lo siento fresa, we can't go see papi in heaven. but lets go for a walk in the park pequeña, i think we need to have a big girl talk."
"you had to explain heaven to her?" olga asked in disbelief as alexia sighed with a small shrug.
"someone had to. we all agreed as she got older we should have done more when he was sick to explain what was happening but...she was just so little, so happy, so innocent." alexia breathed out with a pained wince.
"she went out of her way even if she didn't understand why everyone was sad to try and cheer us up, i needed her and alba just as much as they needed me. mami was...she was grieving amor. she did her best but there was slack and i picked it up, i had to be there for them." alexia forced out a small smile as olga's face softened.
"but mi corazón, who was there for you?" the girl asked softly as alexia sighed again, fingers instinctively tucking under her shirt to trace the tattoo on her ribs.
the five of you in stick figure form holding hands, your drawing for your sister which was now and would always be with alexia inked to her skin, forever.
~
your day hadn't started as you'd hoped.
when you woke up your sleep last night had been anything but restful, waking up multiple times throughout the night as your chest tightened with anxiety the back of your eyes ached with exhaustion.
you'd quickly called in sick to work, a small smile on your face as your boss had joked he was almost going to cancel your shift if you didn't slow down to look after yourself before promising you'd be able to take all the time you needed.
word spread quickly through the clinic as texts of support poured in from your friends and coworkers, all encouraging you reach out should you need anything which you were very grateful for.
when your door was still closed two hours after you were supposed to have left for work alexias own body relaxed a little, relieved you were finally taking a day for yourself and stepping outside onto the balcony to have a coffee and make a few phone calls.
your sister was surprised that when she returned you were awake, your back to her as you made a coffee of your own. though soon as it was done with a tired smile you headed back to your own room again.
alexia gave you your own space until lunch time, knocking at your door as you responded and she pushed it open.
"do you want to go get sushi for lunch?" your sister questioned, knowing you hadn't eaten all day she already had back ups in mind if you declined but to her shock you gave her a nod, asking for some time to shower and change.
you didn't say a word the entire car ride clearly lost in your own head, barely batting an eyelash as alexia pulled up in front of alba's house and your sister joined you in the car, sharing a look with alexia who subtly shook her head, the radio filling the silence of the journey.
but as you turned down a familiar road you seemed to come more to attention, pulling your head off the window and frowning, a small scoff leaving your mouth as alexia pulled into the hospital parking complex.
"funny looking sushi restaurant." you muttered sinking into your seat once alexia found a park. "i can't believe you lied to me." you shook your head angrily at the deception.
"i didn't. we will get sushi hermana, just after you see mami." alexia decreed as you shook your head again and crossed your arms. "im not getting out of the car." you refused stubbornly as alexia sighed.
"you will." "i won't." "you will." "i won't." "you will." "i won't."
"this is ridiculous. fresa, get out of the car!" alba intervened as you glanced to the back seat and shot her a filthy look which didn't deter her.
"alba." alexia gave her a look of her own as she backed down and got out of the car herself, closing the door and leaving you with your eldest sister.
"she's awake."
your head snapped sideways to look at her with a frown. "you're lying." you decided as alexia shook her head. "no, the hospital called me this morning. but i wanted to give you a little time to yourself first before we came, but she is awake and stable fresa, i promise." alexia assured softly as you wrenched your eyes away.
"she's not going anywhere hermanita, but we shouldn't keep her waiting, she's still very tired." alexia added on, reaching over to gently squeeze your knee before she opened her door.
you watched for a few minutes as your sisters spoke with one another, clearly about you as they glanced back to the car every few seconds with a shake or a nod, likely planning to drag you from the car themselves if you refused much longer.
so with an exhausted exhale you unbuckled yourself, hauling ass out of the car and closing the door, wordlessly following after your sisters toward the hospital.
the closer you got the more your stomach twisted and clearly your apprehension was written across your face as your sisters slowed just slightly to fall into step with you, now both stood protectively either side of your shorter form.
"can i go by myself?" you asked quietly as you all signed in and arrived to the coronary ward, glancing past them both to eli's room as they shared a look. "sure hermana, we'll be right out here if you need anything." alba promised as you nodded and they stepped aside, your legs feeling like jelly the closer you got to her room as they hung back watching you go.
it was as if you were a balloon and someone stuck a pin in you the moment you entered her room and caught her eye, deflating entirely and crumpling as you dragged yourself to her bed side.
"mami." you managed to whisper out, dropping into the chair by her side as she smiled tiredly and reached for you, your face buried into her shoulder as her hands cradled your head.
"mi hija pequeña." she spoke, her voice flooding your body with relief as tears welled up and you hugged her tightly, though still very carefully as you were more than away of the amount of wires which protruded from her skin.
"you're okay." you whispered again as you pulled back and wiped your eyes, eli smiling with a nod. "i am okay. not going anywhere hija, takes more than that to kill me." you knew it was a joke but you frowned, the older woman apologizing and pushing a loose strand of hair out of your eyes.
"i was so scared mami. you just...you collapsed, you weren't breathing, i didn't know what to do or how to help." your voice broke as you forced back the tears which were clawing their way up.
"but you did help fresita, you did everything right. but i am so sorry for scaring you mi hija, lo siento mucho." eli apologised, voice full of remorse as you shook your head dismissing it.
"no. i am just glad you're okay mami." you promised, taking her outstretched hand, your intertwined fingers resting on her mattress. at her request you filled her in on everything that had been going on the last few days, not leaving out many details as you never did, always the most honest with the woman you trusted more than anyone.
"oh nena i am not going anywhere, i promise." the womans own eyes near filled with tears as you managed to force out the story of finding red and all the turmoil of memories which had surfaced being back at the hospital all those years ago.
"mi fresa. i need to tell you some things, about some of my regrets in life." eli spoke softly, giving your hand a squeeze as you frowned in confusion but nodded for her to continue.
"even before your papi was sick i worked a lot, so did he. we needed the money so i took up night work, so did he. it meant i relied on your hermana's to look after each other but mostly after you, you were still so young and...well to look after someone that age can be a lot." eli started gently as you nodded for her to go on.
"then when your papi was sick i relied on them more, alexia especially. your hermana did for you things i should have done for you as your mami, she shouldered the responsibilities of a parent when she was barely a teenager and that was not fair on her fresa, i was not fair to put her in that position." eli paused to cough as you hurried to help her sit up a little more and grab her a glass of water which she sipped at and placed back down.
"when your papi passed i was grieving heavily, we all were. but again, alexia had responsibilities on her shoulders that were far too heavy, far too much for a teenager and a daughter herself. she took on not only her grief but also mine, and alba's, and yours, she stepped in when i pulled back. your hermana pushed her grief down and bottled up her feelings to care for everyone elses, she has always done so." eli explained again squeezing your hand.
"in a way i stole part of alexia's youth with how much responsibility was put on her, i never ever meant to, and i do not blame anyone but myself for not noticing sooner. it is something i have to learn to live with, and that your sister will never understand, to her its just...how it was, how she needed to be." eli continued as you stayed silent letting her speak.
"but fresa, alexia loves you more than anyone in the entire world, she has from the very second you were born. you were a gift to this family and alexia has always maybe looked at you as a little more than her hermana. i am not excusing how your sisters made you feel mi fresita, but if you hear them out you might find they did not mean to make you feel that way." eli seemed to finish with that as you could only nod, choking back tears and afraid if you attempted to speak that dam would break all together.
"so promise me you will hear them out." you again nodded at that, eli raising your adjoined hands to her mouth and softly kissing your hand before you leaned in to hug her again, head resting against her chest and closing your eyes, memorizing the sound of her heartbeat as her hand ran through your hair.
"te quiero hija mia."
~
promising to be back tomorrow and to send your sisters in next you'd quickly darted off to the bathroom to rinse your face and take a moment to yourself, overwhelmed with emotion as you bit down on your shirt to stop your sobs being audible.
after a few minutes you'd calmed enough to regulate your breathing, rinsing your face again and exhaling, wincing at your reflection but leaving the ward bathroom.
you found alba sat where you'd left her, alexia nowhere to be seen.
"i think she went to call olga." alba shrugged as you questioned her whereabouts, checking you were okay as you nodded and she hurried off to see eli, all of you having been warned by the doctor that having just woken up she would obviously be exhausted and likely need to rest soon.
you waited around for awhile but when alexia didn't return you decided to look for her, eventually seeing the back of her tall figure at the end of the hallway where there was a small kitchenette with tea and coffee for visistors, nobody else around.
though as you grew closer you soon realised why your sister had made sure that was the case, hearing the tears in her voice as she held the phone to her ear.
"-and sí i know mami is okay now but its just bringing back all of the memories from before and i was so worried that she would not wake up and-" feeling eyes on her back you shrunk as alexia's head whipped around and spotted you.
quickly murmuring something and hanging up the phone she furiously wiped at her eyes and cleared her throat, trying to cover up the fact she'd been crying as she sent you a forced smile.
"how was-" alexia didn't get another word out before you'd closed the gap between the two of you and your body barreled into hers, your arms wrapping around her in a tight hug as your sister almost fell over not having expected this in a million years.
it took a moment for her to register what was happening before her arms wrapped around you in turn, your face pressed into her shoulder as the two of you just held one another in silence, both needing it just as much as the other did.
"i love you alexia."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i am far too exhausted to proof read this so please be kind toward any typos or grammar errors my friends
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cashmoneyyysstuff · 3 months
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So, that deja vu fic got me thinking.. and what if katsuki has a childhood friend (obvi friends w deku too) where he is always trying to impress her and class 1-a notices or ( if you’d like them older ) the agency notices and starts betting on when he’ll confess to her. turns out, she actually confesses first and everyone is happy (and slightly disappointed… nobody got their money) 😋😋
Also, when i saw the notification “@cashmoneyyysstuff started following you” i have never hit a follow back button so fast 😭🫶
Remember you’re amazing, take care of yourself, drink water, stay safe, and know that you are loved ❤️
WAAAA @itzjustj-1000 this is soo cute ! especially since katsuki being a loser n tryin to impress us instead of just confessing is honestly adorable. ALSO ALSO ur LITERALLY THE SWEETEST !! ur the loveliest it's a given i had to follow u !! i tried to honour ur request as best i could, i hope you like it ! also say it w me yall: WEEWOOO WEEWOOO CHILDHOODFRIENDS TO LOVERS ALEEEEEERRTTT (yall r forcing my hand atp (not that im complaining tho))
fem reader, katsuki is a whipped little loser, katsuki likes getting praised by reader but acts like he doesn't challenge (fails miserably), kaminari n sero are little shits, m*neta (he doesn't say anything creepy don't worry <3) everyone is in their 2nd year in this one. lemme know if i missed something else !
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for as long as izuku midoriya could remember, you and kacchan have always been a packaged deal.
deku remembers all the way back in primary school, how kacchan would bend over backwards to impress you, spending his days trying to win your praise like he was collecting it. whether it be showing off how good his reading skills were, or showing off his newly acquired quirk to you at any given chance. (away from the eyes of the teachers, of course)
or even with silly things. like the time he showed you how long he could hold his breath underwater. it didn't matter, as long as he could show it off to you, he would.
deku remembers how pride would fill his childhood friends face, cheeks practically glowing and a smile basically reaching his ears. a simple "woooah, you're so cool kacchan !" had the boastful blonde giddy for the entire day, chest puffed out as he walked ahead of everyone, with you right next to him, of course. (you were the only one worthy enough to stand by his side after all)
and though he spent his time trying to win your praise, he also needed your attention constantly. katsuki constantly demanded your attention. he's the only one who's allowed to sit next to you in class, you're always the one he picks first when it's time to pick teams to play dodgeball. he's your partner for every project and you're the one who walks beside him when you and your friends go venture out in the woods to go out on your adventures. and even though they would usually take place in the park, katsuki always claimed he'd be the one to protect you if anything were to happen.
as kids, deku was probably the only one who noticed how hard katsuki tried to impress you.
and he's probably the only one to notice how he still does it now.
"sooo...kacchan totally has a thing for yn, agreed ?"
"mhm. definitely."
"yup."
"'m suprised you just noticed that now, kaminari...actually i'm not really suprised." jirou drawled, twirling one of her earphone jacks around her finger.
okay, so apparently he isn't the only one who noticed.
kaminari pouts "i noticed ! i noticed, like, ages ago !" he huffs into his folded elbows on the desk " i just wanted to see if you guys did !"
"you'd be stupid to miss it." sero cuts in smoothly. their grouchy homeroom teacher somehow ended up absent, leading to an impromptu free period. which in turn caused for loads of gossip he had somehow gotten roped into. kirishima, kaminari and sero were talking about you and katsuki, happily chatting off about something they couldn't hear from where they were sitting.
"maaaannn, bakugou's way too lucky, scoring such a pretty girl. what's he got that i don't ?!" kaminari whines. kirishima shushes him lightly, afraid to rouse the attention of a certain blonde they just so happened to be talking about
"now that i think about it.." sero wondered, leaning onto kirishima's shoulder "midoriya, you guys are childhood friends, right ? have they always been..." he cuts himself off, pointing over at you both with his chin for midoriya to look back. ".. like that ?"
you're chatting about something that's apparently funny or exciting, with katsuki listening along attentively, his head resting in his palm like he's admiring you. his full focus entirely on you, as it usually was.
you're using your hands a lot while you're talking and deku recognizes it as the thing you do when you've gotten to the juicy part of the conversation, deku almost wishes he could listen in, then remembers it's not good to be nosy and shakes the thought away. every once in a while katsuki interjects with a subtle smirk on his face and his remarks have you either giggling or playfully pouting at him unable to hide your smile. the playfulness in his heavy lidded red eyes remains at any reaction you give him, though. kacchan's worked on his poker face over the years but it seems he can't control himself when it comes to you.
izuku realizes he's been openly staring for too long and quickly turns back to look at sero who raises an eyebrow, awaiting a response.
izuku chuckles to himself "yeah, pretty much." he hums, playing around with the ends of his tie as he speaks.
"oooouu~" kaminari sings, suddenly lifting his head up from where it was hidden into his shoulder with a sudden burst of energy, startling kirishima. "juicy details about kacchan, i'm in !"
"i don't know if it's exactly 'juicy'" izuku sweatdropped, chuckling awkwardly. "but kacchan and yn have always been really close. when we were younger, kacchan would always be seeking out yn's attention. he'd be really possesive..or protective over her, i guess ?—it was all pretty harmless though." he recounted, smiling softly at his childhood memories nostalgically pouring into his mind.
both kirishima and sero let out quiet hums when he finishes while denki simply pouts "s'not as juicy as i thought it would be" he huffs petulantly, receiving a knock on his head from jirou who hisses a "he told you that, idiot"
kirishima places his head into the palm of his hands and sighs dreamingly "man, that's so cute. bakugou's been a major softie for yn for so long.." he clenches his fist and izuku thinks he sees a little tear in his eye "so manly !" he exclaims through his sharp teeth.
"yeah, i don't know if 'manly' is the word i'd use to describe someone who's been whipped for so long and still doesn't have the balls to confess" sero ribbed, snickering to himself with denki joining in shortly after.
"hey, don't be assholes !" jirou shot "i think it's kinda cute y'know ? not really..manly..but—cute." she said.
"how much you wanna bet he's not gonna confess until graduation?" kaminari challenged.
"wouldn't put it past 'im." a voice suddenly chimes in. the five of them all turn their heads left, right then down at the voice that came from none other than mineta, who had somehow wormed his way into the conversation.
"and what the hell do you think you're doing sneaking into our conversation, freak" jirou sneers, glaring down at mineta who had already dragged his chair over, including himself into the group.
mineta decides to ignore jirou as he places his arms onto the desk seriously like he's imitating some type of mafia don. " bakugou's never gonna confess any time soon, he's too much of a pussy" he waves off nonchalantly "i bet he won't even have done it by the time we've finished school ! "
" and i bet you wouldn't say that to his face !" kaminari guffaws and the purple haired boy sputters. izuku can't hold back his grin as he watches them bicker.
" kacchan's always been pretty..sure of himself" he settles "i don't think it'd take him that long to confess" he guessed, pressing his thumb onto his chin "though maybe the fact that he's so sure of himself could hold him back.."
ah, there he goes again.. the rest of them thought as they watch midoriya babble on and on into theory land.
denki suddenly slams his fists on the desks, startling everyone. he sucks in a breath "alright ! i bet a thousand yen and the entirety of my lunch box that bakugou won't confess by the end of this year !" he exclaims, not too loud but loud enough so everyone in the group could hear him.
"oooouu~ what're we betting on ?" mina chimes in, suddenly appearing behing jirou and in turn startling her. she flashes her a little glare causing the pink haired girl to offer a weak apology and a hug.
"kaminari just bet a thousand yen and his lunch that bakugou won't confess to yn by the end of this year" sero smirked, clearly enjoying the drama
" ou, that sounds fun ! lemme join in too !" the pink skinned girl pleaded giving her best puppy eye and pout combo.
"sure ! just don't come cryin' to me when you lose" kaminari agrees, playfully jabbing at his friend.
"this is so stupid. i'm not betting money on this.."jirou scoffs rubbing at her temple. "c'moooonnn, don't be chicken, jirou ! " denki whines
"mhmm, c'moonn jirou give into peer pressure !" mina joins in, wrapping her arms around the purple haired girl and swaying her side to side.
jirou groans before finally conceding "..five hundred yen. that's all you're getting from me." she concludes sourly crossing her arms.
" i'm gonna go with kaminari's and say his balls won't drop 'till graduation" sero says simply, smirking almost mischieviously at the display of sudden chaos. he looks a little too pleased, izuku sweatdrops.
"i'm not betting on my bro, that's so unmanly." kirishima refused " i say just let them go at their own pace" he finishes, receiving a nasty look from his chaotic classmates.
needless to say kirishima gave in to peer pressure soon after, offering a modest 1,100 yen by this summer for his friend to confess.
"well i stand on what i said, i don't think he has the balls to say it at all. and i put that on all the money in my pockets ! " mineta proudly spoke.
"how much is that, like, one fruit roll-up ?" mina deadpanned, not missing a beat causing the group to erupt in laughter. mineta's objection's falling on deaf ears.
meanwhile, katsuki notices you've stopped talking all of a sudden. it takes him by surprise as you were so into it a minute ago. "what's up ?" he asks. his question snaps you out of your trance and you jump slightly, turning back to look at him "oh , nothing ! they just seem to be having fun " you gasp, a smile crawling up on your face as you look back at your friends having a good time.
katsuki on the other hand has a slight pout forming on his face, displeased at how his loud mouthed friends distracted you from your conversation. and from him he thinks, but that makes him feel like a snot nosed little kid again and his expression turns even more sour.
"tch. the fuck are those losers so loud for" he grumbles under his breath. you catch it though, and you giggle. his eyes brighten and his brows unfurrow the slightest bit when he hears it.
"don't be such a buzzkill katsu, s'not their fault you're no fun." you jest, chuckling to yourself when he scowls at you.
"fuck off ! m'not a buzzkill" he rolls his eyes, huffing indignantly "an' i'm plenty of fun" he finishes grumpily. you laugh a little more, covering your mouth with your hand when you catch a peak of him narrowing his eyes at you making fun of him. he simply rolls his eyes and sighs, shaking his head. he'll let it slide, he always does with you.
"right, right. my apologies, sir dynamight" you chuckle, bowing slightly at him, he huffs out a laugh "that's sir lord explosion murder god dynamight to you" he snorts. you throw your head back and laugh and katsuki feels the same pride he used to feel when he'd found something cool to show you back when you were brats. his stomach feels fuzzy and his head feels clouded the way it used to when you'd offer him your big, bright sparkly eyes and a "you're so cool kacchan !"
god, it never failed to remind him how much of a whipped loser he was for you.
and unfortunately still is.
you scoot your chair a little closer to his and katsuki has to use all of his might not to blush at the sudden proximity, as miniscule as the distance between you both was to begin with.
"well okay then, sir lord explosion murder god dynamight" you say rapidly, laughing to yourself. katsuki let's out a breathy chuckle, it's cute. he's cute. " i'm sure it doesn't mean much, but i at least think you’re plenty fun to be around"
katsuki feels his heart skip a beat too many.
you whisper, like it's a secret. you're in your own little corner while all your classmates are chatting away yet you say this to him like it's something between you and him. batting your eyelashes up at him. god, it's like you're out to kill him and honestly katsuki thinks for a second he wouldn't mind dying by your hand.
he's such a whipped loser.
he can't think straight. you're sitting so close to him, you're lips are glossy from that lip gloss you always have on you. you smell nice, katsuki feels like a creep for smelling you like you aren't a breath away from him.
"yeah, well.." he utters lowly. he licks his lips, feeling himself grow dizzy as he watches you watch the movement intensely and swallows. his adam's apple bobs and he can feel himself blushing like an idiot. " i don't think you're all that bad either" the end of his sentence comes out a little breathy, he barely realizes he's speaking. like his body is deciding for him, he doesn't mind much.
you give him a sweet little smile and your eyes shine like stars and you look up at him like he's everything, like he's the coolest. he wants you to look at him like this all the time.
you suddenly lean in and kiss him, right next to his lips, just at the corner. it lasts for about 0.3 seconds but katsuki feel his entire body exploding from the inside like he's let off his quirk onto himself.
"i take it back actually" you start "you're super cool to be around, kacchan." you whisper bashfully. katsuki huffs out a little laugh once his heart had stabilized itself a little bit, a small smile growing on his face—
" AW MAN? WHAT THE HELL ?!"
you both turn to the sound of your electric classmate, sporting a little pout on his face. proceeding to get dog-piled on by your other classmates surrounding him, causing him to let out whines and moans of complaint.
"i-ignore him !" mina waves off nervously "just keep doin' what you were doin !— i mean, we weren't watching or anything !" she splutters.
"nice one." jirou deadpanned sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "look, we don't mean to pry or anything, but who kissed who first ?"
at that, katsuki's cheeks flare up, turning a damn near violent shade of pink. he's about to yell obscenties at his classmates, about to tell them it's none of their business when-
" i did !" you giggle, a cat-like grin on your face
"you sneaky fuckin minx-" katsuki growls, shoving his index fingers into your sides and you let out a squeal mixed with a giggle. you're quickly drowned out by your classmates releasing a group groan, with sero and kaminari yelling and booing at katsuki, who in turn starts threathing them, his hands crackling and popping.
you don't exactly know what's happening, but you can't help but feel extremely joyful and happy.
"soo.." mineta starts "since i said bakugou wouldn't confess first doesn't that technically mean i-"
" IN YOUR DREAMS ! "
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rumisgf · 4 months
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PASSENGER PRINCESS - connie springer x black!reader
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summary: your... best friend takes you on your weekly late nights drives. but, this night is different: both of you are aware of the tension between y'all even though neither of you address it- until tonight. warnings: marijuana usage, best friends to lovers, eventual smut, yk car sex, french kissing
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you just had got off work, and today really wore you out. it was the usual: your manager was getting on your nerves, there was this lady who tried to argue with you over the counter, and you had to train probably the most incompetent teen who had just got hired. all you knew is you need a blunt and a nap.
as you're laying on your bed ready to kick your clothes off, your phone buzzes. a text from connie, probably the only person you have patience for right now. it reads 'you home?' to which he knows you are, he found out when you get off work (because he listens, of course. totally didn't do his own research before you even told him directly). the minute you text back he's calling your phone, and you roll your eyes a bit 'cause you already know he wants to bother you now.
"hello, sir?" you can hear him smack his lips.
"man, you not even tired! i'm 'bout to head out anyway, just wanted to see what you was doin' right now."
"what, you trynna pick me up?"
"don't ask dumbass questions, you want me to pull up or not?"
you smile to yourself, and get up to change out your work clothes. "mmm... yea. c'mon."
"bet." *click*
soon enough, you see his car pull up from your apartment window and make your way out the door. as you walk down the stairs, you can't help but grin to yourself. no matter how bad of a mood you're in you would never miss an opportunity to chill with his fine as- you mean, the only tolerable dude you know.
you open the car door, the smell of weed hitting your nose. "yooo!" connie greets you with a smile, and a wood in hand. he already had started to roll up before you even made it to the car.
"nigga, what did i tell you 'bout smoking outside here?! if i get in trouble, it is not gonna be my fault!"
"you'on wanna hotbox?" he asks obviously, making you roll your eyes as you buckle in your seatbelt.
he starts the car up and places one hand on the wheel, ready to find an empty parking lot. he notices how you stare outside the window, hand resting on your cheek. "work piss you off?" you simply reply with, "why?" and he says "you not talkin' like usual and actin' all bothered."
he was right, work did piss you off. but for some reason, he was making you especially nervous today. "ion know, just my manager was on dick today. and i had to train this lil' boy he was pissing me off too. i know he a kid but damn, this why i ain't wanna be a trainer in the first place. i already work overtime most of the week i don't be having the energy for that shit, y'know? he keep giving me all these things to do like my schedule not already tight and i'm busting my ass just to still not get promoted yet." it was nice to get stuff of your chest like this because it really calmed you down. better yet, he knew how to calm you down. he knows how to listen while making sure you're still having a good time.
he eventually pulls up to a gas station. "well, don't let that shit bother you. you probably gon get promoted anyway cause you actually do your job. besides, if that don't happen, i been telling you to quit anyway." getting out the car, he pulls his hoodie over his head and comes to open your car door. "now c'mon." "i don't want noth-"
"i said c'mon, mama, i'm getting you snacks! and i want some too i'm not leavin' you in here."
having no argument, you get out and walk with him inside. since it is late, you're the only ones in there and there's only one cashier in sight. the mid aged lady smiles at the two of you as she notices the door bell ring. you both grab a drink of choice from the freezer and make your way to the counter. he sees your eyes dart to a bag of chips, and he picks it up to place it down before you grab his hand. "you don't have to, con." he ignores you, sliding it to the cashier to scan. "oh, stop it, you act like i haven't payed for your hair before."
"your total is $12.59"
he pulls a 20 out his pocket, handing it to her a taking his change. as you both leave, she says "by the way, you two are such an adorable couple!" but, before you can correct her, connie replies
"thank you, ma'am!"
now, you're both sat in the car laughing at the interaction that just happened. "thank you? for real?" you say through giggling. connie simply shrugs, "i ain't wanna make her feel bad!" in your mind, you began to question his response still. why didn't he say no? "i mean shit, you don't look bad so." he stops, furrowing his eyebrows and side eyeing you. "oh, if i was ugly you woulda had a issue?" you look to the side as he pretends to start to be offended. "well, yeah duh." he laughs in response, you following after. "alright, dude."
eventually, he pulls into a random parking lot. you see a bench and a sign, so you assume this is just some park in the area. luckily, no one's here anyway. connie's hand finds the back of your headboard as backs up into a spot. "found this spot like yesterday, nobody really around at night. plus it's chill, i wanna talk to you and ion wanna be bothered seeing other people around."
you can't help but focus on his jawline as he looks back, barely paying attention to the words coming out his mouth. "you even listenin' to me?" he snaps you back into reality. you turn back in your seat as you smack your lips and he chuckles, settling back into his seat. he picks up from where he started, rolling a blunt for the both of you. once he finishes he pulls out a lighter from his glove department, bringing it to his mouth. your eyes pay good attention to his eyes glancing down at the wood, his fingers, his mouth as he inhales, and the way he looks at you after he puffs out smoke.. god he looked fine.
"damn, you gon' take it?" he asks before you even get the chance to zone out completely. you mutter "my fault" before taking it and bringing it to your own mouth. now, its his turn to examine your movements. you don't even notice him eyeing you: the way your acrylics look as you hold it, your makeup still looking nice after a full day of work, your closed lids, the way you're slightly titling your head back... fine as fuck he thinks to himself. he takes off his hoodie as his body warms up. when you look back at him, you see his toned arms in the moonlight and your face begins to heat up. "you feel better, ma?" you nod in response, attempting to contain yourself. however, he can't help but examine you and you begin to notice. "so, what you wanna talk abt?"
he uncharacteristically fiddles with his thumb and looks down. "well shit..." you take another hit, still making eye contact with him. "after that thing just happened it kind of reminded me even more," he takes a pause. he puts his hand out, and you pass the blunt to him before he continues. he brings it to his lips, slowly inhaling. then as he exhales,
"what if we was a couple?"
you take a second, nearly being took out your high that barely started coming over you. "oh.. uhm-"
"not like that, just what if, y'know?" he quickly interjects to save himself from possible rejection. "yeah of course....well, ion know like i said you not ugly." you end up shrugging. sure, you guys are friends, but it would be a complete lie to say you haven't thought about it yourself. you had just never planned on voicing it. "well, what do that mean?"
"i don't know, you not ugly. if we talking hypothetically you my type i guess." you explain, avoiding saying how you actually feel. "i guess is crazyyy." he leans back in his seat, throwing one of arms behind his head as he takes another hit. "so, i'm yo type?"
you feel yourself start to smile. "now what do you mean, sir?" he simply laughs. "i think you pretty too, y/n." his statement catches you offguard, and you find yourself speechless. he only laughs more and looks straight at you, now half-lidded with red hued eyes. "you ain't notice me starin' at you for how many times you been in my car? and you the only girl i really be having in my car, you basically my passenger princess."
the name passenger princess makes you feel warm in a place that you are not willing to acknowledge. "...well, i been starin' at you too. surprised you ain't notice" he's quiet for a second, then looks down at his lap with a smirk. "i did." you smack his arm and he's now in a fit of laughter as he relishes in your embarrassment. after a minute, he smiles at his eyes cant help but focus on your lips. "what?"
he takes a minute to think over the choices he's about to make. and after some thinking, he comes to a conclusion. "...c'mere, mama."
you stare at him for a second, questioning if this is a good idea. but, the way his arms look after removing his hoodie and the way he's manspreading is definitely blinding your judgement. so, you find yourself climbing in his lap just slightly raised up enough so you're not actually sitting on him. but, his hand wraps around your waist and makes you sit down. "aw c'mon, why you bein so shy? it's just me." and he's right. this isn't even the first time you've been this close to him or sat on his lap. your friendship has very little... boundaries. or better yet, you two have a closer platonic relationship than others.
he stares back at you as he raises the blunt in his hand to your lips. you take a hit, blowing smoke directly in his face. you both smile and laugh softly, connie biting his bottom lip. "you so goddamn fine, i swear."
all you respond with a soft giggle as you lean closer into his chest. he wraps an arm around your shoulders and holds eye contact. finally, you both slowly lean in, closing the distance between your faces. his lips instantly catch yours and set a steady pace. he tastes like soda and indica, but right now that is so delicious to you. subconsciously, you slowly move your hips on his laps in rhythm with the movement of your lips on his. he lowly grunts and pulls away. "woah, what you trynna do?" he mumbles, eyeing your body on top of his. "shit, i been holding in a lot, con... i'm on what you on."
his eyes find your thighs, then comes back up to your red, lazy eyes. "you sure, ma?" you bite your lip, "yeah... you want to?" a soft chuckle leaves his lips and he leans back in, centimeters away from your lips. "i been wantin' to do so much to you, y/n, i wanna make you mine.."
his lips crash onto yours and his hands immediately find your ass, massaging the plush skin hidden by your leggings. your tongue finds it way into his mouth and he matches you, tongues dancing with each other. you can feel his boner from under you, and you hope he can't feel you throbbing on top of him. he pulls away again, and tugs at the hem of your leggings.
"can i move these, baby?" he asks. you nod, and he pulls them down to your knees. you shimmy them off knowing you're better off without them restricting your ankles. in return, he scoots you back and he unzips his pants, pulling them down to reveal his stiff hard dick under his boxers. nearly drooling, you eagerly move back up and kiss him again. you grind your hips on his lap once more, moaning into his lips at the feeling. his hand go to guide you and kneed on your ass. he groans into the kiss, you making him harder than he already was.
then, you pull away. he takes a second to look down and notices the wet spot forming on his boxers. he smirks to himself, "damn, baby you that wet?" you look away, still grinding on him. he laughs to himself at your reaction then slides his hand down, pulling your underwear to the side. this thumb finds your clit and you gasp at the sudden contact. he rubs slowly, eyes glued down. he pays attentions to the way your hips begin to buck upward at his touch. then, he slowly slides two fingers into your entrance. "o-oh fuck-!" you moan out. looking back up to you, he licks his lips and focuses on you. "like that, mama?"
you hum in response, eyes closing with pleasure. grinning, he curls his fingers and earns a louder moan sliding out your lips like butter. the sound of you and your wetness as he plays with you is music to his ears. "c-connie..." as you moan out for him, he perks up teasingly. "hm, baby?" you open your mouth to speak, and cut yourself off with another moan. "i- fuck.. i need you"
"need what, babygirl?"
you whine, knowing he's making you say it. "..need you t' fuck me, bae.."
with that, he slips his fingers out of you, bringing them to his mouth and keeping eye contact as he licks them clean. while he does this he lets you pull him out his boxers, dick springing out. you already had a feeling, but he's big. you stroke him slowly, taking notice of how he squirmed in your touch. "fuck, y/n.." his hips buck upward and his lids close for a second, slightly throwing his head back. you end up throwing off your underwear, leaving you in only your hoodie you left the house in.
"take yo time, okay?" he says softly as you lift up. you nod, and finally begin to sink down onto him. he bites his lips as he feels your slick coating him as you slide his dick into you. your hands grip his shoulders as you sit all the way down, feeling every inch of him. you both moan at the feeling. after a few seconds, you start moving up and down on him. your head falls into the crook of his neck, moaning onto his skin and sending chills down his spine. "f-fuck...baby.."
his hands find your hips, following your movements. "damn baby, just like that.. ride that shit.." you pick up the pace and your grip on him tightens. he now goes to grips your ass, helping move you up and down on all his length. "fuck-! 's so big.." you're whining and moaning into his shoulder, working yourself on him.
connie starts to move his hips in unison with you. "yeah, you like that shit? he starts grinning, looking at your face buried into him. "mhm.. love this dick.." your slick is staining his boxers even more as it drips down while you coat his dick in arousal. "i know, mama, this pussy takin' me so well... you wet f' me." he smacks your ass, earning a small gasp out of you. "look at me, ma."
you lift your head and he smiles at you, admiring your current state. "sexy as fuck.." he moves to massage your hips before pecking your lips. "love you, princess." your heart flutters, as well as your pussy, and your lips form a small smile. "love you, pa" you circle your hips on him and he hums with satisfaction, curses falling out his mouth. "yeah, just like that.. so fuckin' good.."
you ride him with intent, doing it like you had always did in your fantasies. "you feel so good.." you moan, your hole gripping him tighter. "fuck.. i know, ma, i know. takin' this dick so well."
a knot begins to form in your stomach and your eyes squint again as you look back at him. "baby, 'm gonna cum.." you moan, now moving up and down faster. in response, he begins fucking up into you at the same pace.
"mhm c'mon, nut all on this dick." your moans grow in volume and you become putty in his hands. "fuckfuckfuck!" you cry out as your eyes close shut, and you're slamming your ass down on him as you chase your high. he moans as he watches you, holding you tighter. "yeah, there you go mama..." soon, you begin writhing on him as you cream on top of him, painting his dick white. you can feel the strings of your own cum as he continues to thrust into you, reaching his own orgasm. "c-connie! fuck!"
"'m close baby, 'm close, i know." his breathes are frantic and his head is thrown back. "holy fuck, baby.. shit-!" he pulls out as he jerks himself, releasing himself on your ass. you both lay on each other, out of breath as you come down. he looks at you, a smile growing on his face. "don't you go fuckin' somebody else like that, you mine now."
you smile back tiredly, leaning in to kiss him. this kiss is slow, and loving. you pull away, "and you mine."
© rumisgf
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sssilverstoned · 4 months
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reminiscing ꩜ ln4
type: instagram/twitter au
Fans suffer days leading to love's holiday without their favorite couple.
lily said: hi! my first fic here, my first social media au ever, hope u enjoy :) will be a part 2 and 3..maybe more as well. whatever my heart desires and such
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call her daddy podcast, 2/6/23
alex cooper and special guest: y/n l/n
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y/n l/n: my friends keep trying to get me on dates, but i don't know, i'm just too much of a homebody right now. trying my best, but i'm rusty.
alex cooper: right, and i totally don't want to bring it up, if you don't want it out, but...
y/n l/n: no, it's totally fine. and yes, i'm single. it's one of those things i figured people will start to pick up on, it's kinda how life like this goes.
alex cooper: like a microscope on your relationship?
y/n l/n: exactly. made stuff super stressful, especially since we started dating when we were 19.
alex cooper: shit, 5 years is longer than i thought!
y/n l/n: we grew up together, had so many highlights and growing pains, and i don't want to get on your show and wallow or pout, that's really not what i feel. and i hope no one thinks anyone did anything wrong, it's just a growth thing. some people, as they grow, grow differently. and apart, i guess.
alex cooper: but you still have love for each other, i know that for sure.
y/n l/n: i'll never ever lose that love, i don't think.
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Liked by pierregasly, arthur_leclerc, and 1,264,997 others
landonorris Quite a birthday today! Another year around the sun, another year of me kissing your face. Love you the most.
user1 yassss OUR girlfriend!
yourusername To the moon and back baby!!!!
yourusername Not pictured: his slobber on my cheek
landonorris You quite like my slobber, no? oscarpiastri I surely don't
user2: you two really are growing up together :')
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Liked by zendaya, kendalljenner, and 1,754,132 others
yourusername Sweet boy took me for a picnic, had too much wine hahaha. Thank you all for the birthday wishes, my heart is singing!!!! 23, woah am I close to getting old?
user1 SWEET BOY oh you people are sick
landonorris The most stunning girl, even napping
landonorris and yes you're old now user2 CORNYYYY (i'm ready to end it all) user3 "you're old now" and what are you??
emrata Wine's always a good idea
bellahadid happy birthday baby! come visit soon
user4 does that say lando on her necklace . i'm gonna snap soon
sza Loveeeee. U my favorite, Happy Solar Return!
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Liked by alpinegoss, paddocktea, and 16,821 others
f1gossipcentral submission from a fan today in monaco:
i met lando today with a few others, he was so nice! we didn't want to ask flat out about y/n, he actually brought her up in passing when someone mentioned being from the same hometown as her, and he pointed it out himself. he didn't have the same energy we're used to when speaking about her, but it's obvious there was love in his voice, a lot of it. he's still got her friendship bracelet she made him last year on, but i think it's the type you'd have to cut to get off. regardless, i hope the best for him, and her too.
user1 you're telling me just the name of her hometown and he BLURTS about her?? AFTER being broken up??? yeah we're never seeing pearly gates atp
user2 is this what a broken home feels like?
user3 SHATTERED home. and yes. user4 y/n lando please. come home the kids miss you
user5: single y/n...don't hate me but i would love a baddie era
user6: oh this is not a safe space for you.
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moncherellie · 6 months
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𓆩⚝˚‧no room for the holy spirit ♱꙳˚₊‧
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a/n: finally it's here! been screaming into the void abt this one for... ever. a thousand thank yous to @thirsting-over-women who proofread this for me :>> my savior actually. if the religious themes offend you (whether you are religious or have trauma) i encourage you not to read, maybe check out my other works instead :D
content/warnings: 4,500 words, preachers daughter!ellie x fem!reader, nsfw, reader wears a skirt, semipublic/car sex, fingering, oral (r receiving), reader's first wlw experience, sexual awakening?, religious motif, christian themes, mild religious guilt throughout, mentions of religious homophobia, internalized homophobia, ellie smokes a lil, she's a bit mean, fuckin in a church parking lot
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The pressures of being a teenage girl were hard enough without the pressures of being a gay teenage girl. Being a gay teenage girl was hard enough without the pressures of being the daughter of a fucking preacher. Ellie had never really bought into the whole 'organized religion' thing, ever the skeptic. Even as a puny 8-year-old, she asked why she had to wake up early every Sunday for something she didn't even like doing. Her attitude didn't change much after that, but her parents got stricter and stricter in an attempt to control her sacrilege. She didn't spend much time with her family, instead seeking familial bonds at school, especially with her mechanics teacher, Mr. Miller. But, you know what they say:
Strict parents raise sneaky children.
And it's true. If Ellie's dad knew what she was doing outside the holy walls of the ministry, he'd have an aneurysm and have her exorcised. But, she always thought, what he doesn't know won't hurt him.
You were the opposite. Raised the same as Ellie, you took to religion and fully participated, though mostly out of obligation. Just go every week for an hour and your family will leave you alone. This tactic, for the most part, worked. Your traditional family had their rough moments, specifically when they mocked the outfits you'd wanted to wear to service and called you some... unsavory names. But if you could avoid any similar incident, any clash with authority, you were taking the holy road.
On the outside, you were the purest of people. There was never a bad or dirty thought in your mind. You were a pillar of the community, someone that parents pointed out to their kids. "Be like them," they'd say. Your parents were proud, so you should've been proud. Should've.
You and Ellie had grown up quite close due to being in similar social groups and seeing each other every week at service. Since then, you'd grown apart as you took different paths in life, though you still felt a sense of commitment toward her; So when she cursed out her father in front of the clergy, your eyes widened.
"You fucking dick! You don't know shit about anything! You use all this- this... bullshit- as a crutch so you don't have to own up to your own baggage!"
As she stormed out, you silently move from your spot in the choir, doe eyes shining in the bath of stained glass light, and shuffle up to the front of the room.
"Father, if I may, I would like to go check on your daughter." You're a model fixture, a saint.
"Of course, my child. I hope someday she'll be more like you. I pray that-" You shuffle off again, not wanting to hear about how he wishes his daughter was different. He really wishes his child hid who she was, you think bitterly. You admired Ellie's rebellion, though you'd never say it, and you wished you were as strong as her.
You walk away from the church to the little park you and Ellie used to go to. Your memories flood with nostalgia for simpler times, and you smile to yourself, pleasantly strolling through the large trees and foliage and looking for the rough girl. You find her crouching against a tree, squatting with her head between her legs.
Is she crying?
"... Ellie? Are you alright?" You whisper, not wanting to startle her.
You notice Ellie tense up before quickly standing up and whipping around to face you, a hand behind her back. "Oh! It's... you. Hey. Aren't you s'posed to be inside?"
"Yeah, but I just wanted to check on you. That was intense in there."
"Mhm, I'm good. Just needed some, ah, fresh air. Y'know?" She sounds a little too jolly, weirdly chipper. It's suspicious.
"Uh-huh," you say, unconvinced. "Whatcha got there?" You point to whatever she's trying to conceal.
She knows she's been caught. Her attitude suddenly shifts from faux-innocence to her usual snarky persona as she rolls her eyes, leaning against the tree and revealing what she had. She brings her hand up to her lips. "Nothing."
"Ellie!" You shriek. "You can't do that! Where'd you even get a cigarette?"
She laughs as if you'd said the funniest thing imaginable. "You think this is a cigarette? Are you stupid? No offense. But are you stupid?"
You scoff. "No! I mean, you're smoking it. What else am I supposed to guess?"
"A blunt, idiot. Kush. Mary Jane. Weed. Ma-ri-jua-na." She spells out for you like you're a toddler.
You cross your arms defensively. "Okay, I know what weed is, smart guy. You still shouldn't have it. Where's it from?"
"Stole it. I just wanted to see why people liked it so much. They say it relieves stress, and I think yes." Ellie grins lazily, eyes lidded. "I got another. You want?"
The answer to your question only makes you freak out more. "No! And you stole?! You stole? Oh my goodness, Ellie, you're gonna get us thrown in jail or something!"
Ellie wordlessly watches your breakdown, eyes red and amused, the corner of her mouth turned up. "Relax, man, it's barely illegal. Who's calling the cops for a single gram? Don't be lame like that."
"Lame?" You scoff. "Are you a first grader? Ellie, it's against the law, you could go to prison. And it's not juvie anymore, you're gonna go to real jail!" Your hands flail around wildly as you explain the repercussions of her actions.
"Jail..." She rolls her eyes.
"Yes, jail! That's kinda what happens when you steal something, Ellie!" The high-pitched, prissy tone with which you said her name was starting to annoy her, but the way you looked when flustered was intriguing. Maybe in another context, she'd enjoy hearing her name fall from your lips.
Ellie takes another hit, looking up at you. She tilts her head, asking if you're being serious. "Jail? Over a single blunt? Who cares that much?"
You gasp when you realize: "I'm an accomplice!"
"You're not an accessory just because you're here." She chuckles as the wind blows past and carries her smoke near your head as you duck dramatically and swat away the smoke. She looks at you for a moment, slightly smiling. Her green eyes meet yours briefly before turning her attention back to the joint.
"Why are you using it anyway? It smells rancid."
"Already told you. I wanna know why people do it. It relieves stress and I'm plenty stressed. Plus, I look dope as shit with it, right?" Ellie leans against the tree, and a small part of you wants to say yeah, you do. "You should try it. Maybe get that stick out of your ass."
"You're gonna get addicted."
"God, it's just this once. What are you gonna do, tell my dad?" She chuckles to herself, taking a long drag.
She checks you out, head to toe, examining the flowy fabrics and neat hair and the Mary Jane shoes that drive her crazy. Who wears those? Her gaze returns to meet yours, and she looks utterly dumbfounded by you. Your eyebrows furrow as you see how her expression changes. "What's that look for?"
She shrugs nonchalantly. "I dunno. You're just so robotic. It's like you never think about stepping the teensiest bit out of line. It's creepy. You've never had an independent thought in your life. Have you ever done anything even remotely rebellious?"
You make a noise that seems to say Well why would I? "No! Of course not! And you shouldn't either, I mean look at your dad, he's-"
Her voice raises, a tone you've never heard and don't care to hear again. "-My father? You mean the preacher?" She mocks. "What about him? You don't know anything about my father." Ellie's look hardens, eyes steely and mouth pursed into a thin line. It's a look you've seen maybe twice before, both in much more tense situations. Her voice says that you can't change her mind. You don't care to try. Whatever she's referencing, you believe her.
"Okay. Okay... sorry." You say gently, losing the defensive energy you'd held a moment ago. Ellie sighs and takes an irritated puff. To relax, you think.
"And you always apologize. It's so weird. You need to loosen up a bit." Another long, somehow sarcastic hit. "What's the worst thing you've *ever* done?"
An embarrassing, very private thought crosses your mind. You obviously can't tell her what you think about at night- you're barely able to admit to yourself that you have such impure thoughts. Instead, you shake your head. "Can't- I can't think of anything."
You watch her forest green eyes roll up, then down. It's a very familiar expression on her. "Thought so." She grins up at you, and you look away into the treeline nervously. "Do you wanna try something fun?"
"Is it... illegal?"
"No. Don't worry about that." She motions for you to come closer, so you take a tentative step forward, eyeing her like a wild animal. She hates the way you look at her, making her feel alien. Just because she lives authentically. It makes her want to ruin you, to have you stoop down to her level. Then maybe you won't look at her as if she were extraterrestrial.
You need an attitude adjustment, you need to chill the fuck out, you needed to get fucked, and hard. Ellie thinks she can help you with that.
She grins that toothy smirk as she watches you step closer, taking a puff and placing the blunt between her slender fingers. She doesn't miss the way your eyes trail the two long fingers that hold it. You wonder if she's doing this on purpose.
Ellie backs you up against a tree, and you recognize is as the same old oak that you would climb with her as kids. The branches and bark have left scars on you that Ellie helped you heal. She wonders how they look now.
Your back hits the trunk with an unceremonious thump, and you startle. Ellie keeps walking toward you, now getting uncomfortably close. "Uh- so what are we..." You trail off, thinking she'll explain what she's doing right in your face. She doesn't.
Her arm raises, trapping you between the tree and her body as she studies you. It makes you want to crawl out of your skin, but feels incredibly electric at the same time- it's a sensation you've only felt around her, though you don't know why. She takes another hit and you nervously look away.
She tilts your jaw back to look at her. You have to face her pretty green eyes, unwavering as she stares you down, while you sneak glances just to check if she's still there. Your breath speeds up when she leans closer.
Ellie puts her stupid pink slightly chapped adorable smiling lips near the base of your neck.
"What are you doing?" You say breathlessly. You swear that you feel her ghosting over your skin, so close, yet not as close as you want her. Maybe if you lean in...
Before you can, she breathes out her smoke, lightly trailing her lips down your neck. Her tongue comes out to prod at the skin, tasting you. You whine. The smoke envelops the two of you, and your nose crinkles at the foul smell. You look down to chastise her but she's already looking at you with those eyes and that cheeky look. No matter what you say next to defend yourself, you know you're caught, that Ellie knows she's affected you. It's in your eyes, the way you've seized up so tightly, how you look at her like you can't wait to see what she does next.
She presses a chaste kiss on your collarbone and you crane your neck upward. You're not sure if you're trying to get away or if you're giving her more access. She pulls away and you find yourself leaning forward to try to get her back on you.
"Is that the most rebellious thing you've ever done?" She chuckles, taking another drag and blowing it over you, bathing you in the white haze. "You like being treated like that, huh?"
You shiver. "I don't get it," you say dumbly. You've never been this confused.
"What don't you get? I just think it's fun to make you squirm." She thinks you've had enough and blows her next exhale away from you. "I wanna corrupt you, sweetheart." It sounds derogatory coming from her but you find that you don't mind the tone. The spot Ellie had made contact with feels as if it's burning. You crave for that feeling all over your body.
You stammer over your words, pathetically unable to spit out any sort of coherent reaction to her. Any reaction would be better to tripping over your words. Fed up with trying to sound like a person, you decide to stop talking.
"You enjoyed that huh? Admit it." She inhales and repeats her action. "Makes you feel hot inside."
"What? No- no, are you insane?" The sane part of you is telling you that you shouldn't be doing this, especially not with Ellie fucking Williams of all people. She's everything you aren't- she's rude and snarky and devilish... and tall and strong and hot. Oh shit! The batshit insane part of you is slowly melting the angel on your shoulder, and you can basically see the little devil cackling as you feel yourself straying further from the good girl persona you'd cultivated. You feel your heartbeat in your pants.
Ellie begins to kiss down your neck, sucking and licking at your jaw and collarbone. This time, you're acutely aware that you're actively giving her access to do as she pleases with you. "Maybe I'm insane, but I can tell. You did like it. And if you deny, I'll do it again until you tell the truth."
"Well I didn't, so you can forget about-"
She places her thumb on your lower lip as you start your tirade, effectively shutting you up. "Too late." Ellie leans in and before you know it, her lips are on yours. Her arm snakes around the back of your waist and pulls you as close to her as you've ever been. That warm feeling flushes down your body, leaving chills across your skin. More. All you can think is that you want more. Your hands come up to grip her shoulders, you almost want to push her away, but you find yourself pulling her closer and closer. No room for the Holy Spirit.
Ellie pulls away, smugly looking down at you. "Told you you liked it."
"I didn't say that." You were being a contrarian on purpose at this point. Anything to keep Ellie treating you like this- you wanted to prolong this moment for however long you could. She hoists you up, bringing you out of the park and into the back of the parking lot. She throws you into the backseat of her beaten pickup and crawls atop you with darkened eyes.
You squeal in surprise. "El-lie!"
She continues to kiss you, making you wetter by the second. The heat pooling in your panties is so fucking embarrassing, but you find that you don't care how humiliating this is. You just want more.
"Els, what if someone sees?"
She scoffs as if the idea is preposterous; as if the prospect of getting caught is impossible. "Nobody can see us, and they won't leave until later. Don't stress about it." Ellie bites her lip and it makes your body get hot flushes. "I can do whatever I want to you. But you know what? I think you'd let me. Is that right?"
"...Maybe." Read: Yes, yes, anything! She leans down, placing her hand on the back of your neck and pulling your head closer up towards her. Her hand forces your legs apart further to allow her access. The way she lays on your inner thighs, atop your clothed core, makes you feel lightheaded. You love the way she manhandles you, and it's exactly how you thought she'd be. Every time she adjusts her position, your clit rubs against her and sends jolts of electricity up your body.
"I knew it. You're not as perfect as you try to be. You're dirty."
You want to deny it, you really do, but the evidence is clear. You're disheveled under her, lips swollen from hers, and she's pulling your panties to your ankles and shoving them in her jacket pocket, yet you're ashamed to say that you don't feel an ounce of guilt over it.
Despite how excited you are for whatever is about to happen, you're still incredibly nervous. This is the most physically vulnerable you've ever been with another person, and the fact that you're completely bare under your skirt makes your stomach flip.
Your face must betray your emotions because Ellie momentarily softens. She pulls her hands away from your hips and cups your face, peppering kisses across your cheeks and up to your forehead, making you laugh lightly. "You alright? We can stop."
"No... please don't." Her face lights up.
"Sorry, say that again?" You roll your eyes and she chuckles. "I knew you were like this. Not so pure now, huh?"
"Guess not."
"So you admit it?"
"...Fine. Yes."
Ellie sighs in relief as if her thirst were quenched- that's what she's been wanting to hear from you forever. She could see it in the way you snuck glances at her during mass, finding your wandering, hungry eyes from across the room. She could feel it in the way your hand lingered on her a little too long to be friendly, your touch suspiciously light, like if you touched her any harder you'd start to tremor.
But now, there's no semblance of the timid person you'd been. When Ellie pulls away, your hand comes up to the back of her neck to pull her back in. You're insatiable, and Ellie fucking loves it. She tugs at the bottom of your sweater. "Pull that fucking thing off. Show me those pretty tits." Her breath becomes heavy as you oblige and become needier. "Did you know you were this easy?" She teases.
"What? I'm- I'm not." Everything she says feels designed to evoke the biggest reaction from you. She keeps you on your toes, never letting you get too comfortable. How exciting.
"So it's just for me then?" You don't answer, and it excites Ellie to know that she's right. This reaction is purely for her. Nobody else has seen you like this, and she's grateful to be the one who gets to corrupt you. It really didn't take much effort. "You're so easy to control."
Her hands drift back to your thighs, sliding under your skirt, her lips press to your jawline. Hot breath trails along your neck, down further to your collarbone. Her fingers slide over your inner thighs, sensitive skin rippling as she applies light pressure, testing how reactive you are. You twitch, unwittingly opening your legs more and giving Ellie more access. "You look good like this, though."
Ellie's fingers dig into you, grasping the flesh of your ass and moaning softly into your ear. Her thumbs are on either side of where you desperately need her, and your hips buck up into her, seeking her touch. "Knew you had a nice ass, too."
"Shut up." You mumble.
"Why would I? You like it when I say things like that, don't you? You wouldn't be this drenched if you didn't." She swipes the pad of her thumb over your clit and applies delicious pressure. You nearly cum on the spot.
Is this what you've been missing? This pleasure, this euphoria? Ellie grins at your reaction, drinking in your desperation for her like a succubus. "Aw, sensitive little pussy. Haven't you touched yourself like this before?"
You had, a few times, actually, but it never went this far, deep-rooted guilt gnashing in your stomach and ending the moment before you'd been able to finish. After admitting this, she coos at you. "Poor baby." Her tone is so condescending, but it makes you clench around the tip of her fingers.
She slides the first knuckle of two fingers past your entrance, pumping them in and out painfully slowly. "Ellie, you prick. Come on." She continues her ministrations, gently stroking your entrance, never giving you enough to feel remotely satisfied. She uses this time to take in your disheveled, sweaty appearance. Your cute tits bounce as you shift uncomfortably, waiting for Ellie to please you. A bead of sweat rolls down and she can't help but bring her mouth up to lick at it as it slides over your nipple. Her mouth attaches to you and you sigh, holding her closer by her hair. She grins up at you, making eye contact through her lashes. You can see the tip of her tongue poking out, wetting your bud as the cool air nips at you, making you all the more sensitive. Even now, Ellie still hasn't stopped her teasing below.
"Can't call me a prick then beg for me to fuck you. 's not how it works, pretty girl."
"Then what do you want?" You whine.
Ellie can feel your clit flutter and pulse as she moves. "Fuck, you're so desperate for me, aren't you? I want you to tell me how bad y' want me."
"I- I d-" You begin to protest, being cut off with a squeal as Ellie licks a sloppy stripe up your pussy, finally tasting you.
"Don't bullshit me. If I'm gonna fuck you, I needja to be a little more honest with me. I see how you look at me. You been trying to push some thoughts down, huh?"
It was so humiliating how well she could read you. Whenever her tongue came out of her mouth to take communion, your eyes would be trained on the muscle, breath hitching as she would wink at you. Without fail, you would trail your gaze up her body when Ellie walked in with a suit, her way of dressing nicely for service. Always, always, she could feel the heat radiating off your body as she pulled you closer, not taking her eyes off the pastor speaking.
Your thoughts were impure, sinful, and how embarrassing that Ellie knew. You believed you were hiding it well- obviously not.
"Yeah. Maybe."
Ellie's big hands wrap around your thighs, fingers landing on the sensitive skin near your pussy. She looks up at you and you can feel her hot breath on your clit. It takes everything in Ellie to not eat you out immediately, but your embarrassment is too tempting to pass up.
"Tell me about it. You try to fuck yourself thinkin' of me?"
"I do. I- I tried to, at least. Doesn't work."
"Why not, babe? You're so responsive right now." Her fingers find their place back at your entrance, pushing in as you speak.
"I- oh, shit-" You gasp.
Ellie grins. "Talk to me."
"My fingers aren't good enough."
"Ah," she says, "and mine are?" She knows the answer.
"So good."
Ellie likes that she's made you desperate enough that you've abandoned your pride. She enjoys the flush on your face as you shamelessly admit your secrets to her, the good-girl persona a figment of the past.
She's so busy staring up at how your face contorts in pleasure that she doesn't realize that she hasn't moved her fingers in a hot minute. The teasing is torturous for you.
"Ellie," she hears you whine, "Please!" You rut your hips against her fingers and she feels lightheaded. Jesus fucking Christ.
"Sorry, pretty girl. Got distracted." She smirks. "I'll give you what you want now." Ellie finally moves her fingers, curling them in and out slowly. You groan again and she laughs. "Okay, okay! Sorry." Her face darkens and she bites her lip. "You want me to fuck you? Alright, I'll fuck you."
Ellie's fingers begin to pump inside you, hitting all the spots that make you jump and squirm, and you're sure the rusted heap of a car you're in is about to fall off its chassis. She's going so fast and hard that you're immediately overwhelmed and you don't know where to put your hands. In the span of a minute, they cup your face, a forearm slings over your eyes, and you throw your arms up against the window. Finally, you settle on cupping your cheeks, fingers slit open so you can peer down at Ellie's focus on you.
Her eyes haven't left your pussy since she started. She's absolutely mesmerized by how fucking wet you are, how you seem to suck her fingers back in as she tries to pull out and your body betrays how desperately you want her. Ellie's mouth is slightly agape and she can't help when her tongue flickers out to lick curiously at your clit, wanting to taste you again.
"Fu- fuck!" You yelp, bucking your hips up into her face. Ellie snorts as she watches how you squirm. You can feel something building and though you have an idea of what it is, it's building fast and slightly scaring you. "Wait, Els, hold on a second, something- ah- I think- I think I'm-"
You're nervous about how it creeps up on you so suddenly but you find there isn't time to be self-conscious about it because you cum, and you wonder why God could possibly think that doing this is a sin. How could it be a sin if it felt so right?
You don't know what sound you made or how your face looks, but by the way Ellie looks up at you, it must've been something. Her eyes flicker back down to how your clit pulses as you finish, leaking cum onto her fingers and trailing down her hand. You know what she's fucking thinking because you always do. Before you can form a sentence, she's licking up your cum like it's the best meal she's tasted.
You shudder violently. "Ellie, holy fuck, stop, I'm still sensitive! Oh m- Ellie, come on!" Only when you push her face up does she stop, giving you the cheekiest grin.
You roll your eyes and throw your head back against the car door, panting. The dull ache in your thighs is apparent when you attempt to sit, pulling your panties up and cringing at how your cum pools on them.
Ellie still hasn't said anything. You glance over at her, wondering how she feels about whatever just happened. She's looking down, grey hoodie still pulled up to her elbows, staring at the fingers she'd just fucked you with. She glances up at you, a shit-eating grin spreading across her face. 
“That was hot.” Her hand rubs up and down your thigh, a kind of comfort you’d never received from her. It wasn’t unwelcome.
You don’t quite know how to feel. There are twinges of guilt gnawing at your stomach, that religious guilt creeping in. Had you done something wrong? 
But at the same time, there was a warmth in Ellie’s gaze that made you feel like maybe, it was all worth it. Was it unholy? Almost definitely. But this awakening couldn’t be all bad if she kept looking at you with those soft, fond eyes.
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my masterlist...
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httpsleclerc · 5 months
Text
just the three of us
charles and his girlfriends eventful Saturday afternoon
Charles Leclerc x reader
warnings; pregnancy, doubt in a relationship ? 
w/c: 1.5k
based off this request
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You smiled over at Charles, noticing the small but chubby baby girl babbling in his arms, your smile growing wider as you heard your boyfriend mimic her incoherent babbles. You had been with Charles for 3 years now, already engaged - no wedding plans yet, but you were working up to it - but you noticed that Charles had been avoiding the one very important talk with you; kids. The thing you wanted more than anything, but the very thing that he all but refused to talk to you about; you felt terrible for thinking it, but it made you feel like he didn't want them with you, especially as you watched him entertain the baby he held in his arms.
"Hey, are you okay?" Your friend asked you, noticing that your smile had disappeared from your face, almost longingly looking over at Charles. You shook your head of your negative thoughts, giving your friend the best reassuring smile you could muster in your heartbreak for the future that Charles may or may not see himself having with you. 
"Yeah, just distracted," You smiled, leaning forward to take a sip of the mocktail that your friend had made for you, you had made the suggestion to her since it was her gender reveal, it would have been fair for everyone else to be able to enjoy a drink while she couldn't. She smiled at you, leaning forward to rest her chin on your shoulder, following your gaze over to where Charles stood holding another one of your friends baby's.
"He's really good with her," She commented, looking at you with a grin. "Have you guys talked about kids yet? Cause that one is meant to be a girl dad, Y/N." She sounded so certain. You didn't know, though. Yeah, he was meant to be a girl dad, it was so blatantly evident in how he was with the now squealing baby he was tickling in his arm - His reluctancy to at least acknowledge your want for a child had you doubting that he was going to be one with you.
"He won't talk to me about it, (Name)," You told your best friend, frowning as you thought of him leaving you. "What if he doesn't want them?" Your voice was breaking as you spoke. (Name) had been your friend since you were both little girls, you had dreamed of having your babies be best friends like you were, assuming you would both be lucky enough to have girls on your first try. She sighed, wrapping her arms around you to hug you and try and comfort you.
"He'd be stupid, then, love," (Name) assured you, she knew how you were a bit of an over thinker at the best of times. "He wouldn't have asked you to marry him otherwise, yeah?" You sniffled as you nodded, quickly drying your eyes of tears before your mascara started to run and Charles would be able to tell that you were upset. "Charles loves you so much, Y/N. Maybe you should talk to him about it, he's a guy, he might be nervous to bring it up to you." She suggested, you knew that she was right, she always was and you knew that.
You knew that.
Maybe now you wouldn't trust your friend so much. 
You had excused yourself to the bathroom, and as you were walking past your lover and your friends, you had heard him tell another party goer that he wasn't sure if he wanted kids. 
Oh.
You swore as you heard every word leave his lips, that another piece of you crumbled. Thankfully for you, you could hide it well enough that you would be able to get home without Charles suspecting that you had heard him, that you would blame your puffy eyes on a poor nights sleep. You couldn't believe it - You weren't mad at Charles, no, you never could be, he was your boyfriend, soon to be husband; but clearly, never the father to be of your children.
"That's nice for your friend, a little girl," Charles beamed, his hand on your thigh as he drove the two of you home to your Monaco apartment. You hummed and nodded, unable to meet his eyes for fear that your resolve would crumble, and you would burst into tears. "Are you okay, mon Ange?" He asked you, concern lacing his voice as he took a moment to glance over at you, noticing your down mood.
"Yeah I'm um," You scrambled to think of an excuse. "I'm just tired, is all, I promise, my love." You quickly assured Charles, hoping that he wouldn't push you any further. He hummed, remembering that youhad been up early that morning, but only because you claimed that you had a stomach bug, caught from one of the girls that you worked with.
"Oh, okay," He seemed content with that excuse. "We can go to bed and get cosy when we get home, yeah?" Your heart swelled at his offer - Charles career meant that he was often gone for extended periods of time, and you could sometimes go a whole month without seeing him, so the offer of having time with just him made you want to start crying.
It soon became clear that your emotions were getting the better of you, however. 
As Charles pulled into the garage of your apartment building, putting his Ferrari into park, you started wailing. Charles, concerned, reached over to hold your shoulders, an attempt to try and calm you down.
"Woah, it's okay, love, just breathe," Charles coaxed you, trying to calm you down enough so he could make some sort of sense about what had made you so obviously upset. "It's okay, my love, just breathe, I'm right here," He knew it was working when your wails quieted down to mere sniffles, and you rubbed at your eyes with the sleeve of your cardigan. "Can you tell me what made you so upset, mon ange?" Charles asked you, his eyes gleaming with concern for you.
"I-I just love you so much and I miss you a lot when you're gone," You cried out, sobs wracking your body. "A-and I heard you say to one of our friends that you're not sure if you want kids and it just made me really sad because th-there's nothing I want more than to have a baby with you because I really love you." It clicked for Charles why you were so upset for the remainder of your friends party after you had gone to the bathroom.
"No, no Mon Cherie, it's not like that at all," He explained to you, grabbing your hand and holding in his own. "I want a baby with you too, more than anything. I just wasn't sure if it would be fair on you since I would be gone so often. I didn't know how to bring it up to you without upsetting you, but please know that there is nothing I want more than a little me or you running around." You looked up at him as he held your face in his hands, he always found himself admiring the little things about you, his beautiful girl, the love of his life.
"Y-You're not just saying that?" Your bottom lip wobbled as you spoke, looking up at him with wide eyes. He shook his head and placed a small kiss on your lips, you knew that he was serious, Charles could be a lot of things sometimes, but he was never insincere. "Well um," You sniffled as you looked down, fiddling with the frayed end of your cardigan sleeve. "I did want to tell you in a more romantic and nicer way," Charles tilted his head. "I'm pregnant."
The two words hung heavy in the air, you and Charles staring deep into each others eyes, you noticed the tears bubbling in his own and yours followed his hand as it made its way from your cheek down to your stomach.
"We have a baby in there?" 
His voice was gentle, breaking as he felt the tiny, but their bump of your tummy. You tearfully nodded, a smile growing on your face as one made its way onto Charles' own. He let out a greatful sob as he leaned over, wrapping both of his arms around you, minding to be gentle, even if you had little to no bump, that was his baby.
"We're going to be parents, Charles," You cried, looking at your lover, who's eyes held nothing but love and adoration for you as he leaned forward, locking both of your lips into a passionate, and heated kiss.
Well, maybe your best friend was right.
-
notes: lowkey hate this but we'll move on from it x
1K notes · View notes
rboooks · 11 months
Text
The bakery is a front!...Right? Part 2
Danny can practically feel Peter's glare through the small window between the front counter and kitchen, trying to melt his ice core. He isn't sure what he did to earn the man's ire but it was getting sort of old after two weeks.
Peter's brother, who almost always steals food and drinks between customers, wasn't nearly as bad. Danny didn't mind the loss, as he is beyond rich that he could fund his own country; he just found it odd that Alvin tended to put whatever he stole in test tubes.
He used to seeing street kids' having sticky fingers, but not ones with this particular habit. If he hadn't witnessed Alvin taking an entire bagel and stuffing it into a ziplock bag after another filling another test tube with the ghost theme latte- it was just color dye green and the foam shaped into a blob ghost- he would thought the guy was gathering samples of his merchandise rather then stocking up on food. Not that he could blame him.
Not knowing where their next meal will come from makes it understandable that they horde any food they can. Yes, the pair of brothers were close to his age but they been on the streets since Peter was fifteen and Alvin was thirteen. They had apparently took off in the middle of the night after Alvin was violently outed and his scum of a father tried to break the gay out of him.
They haven't spoken much about their past besides that, but Danny didn't need any more information.
Alvin is remarkably good at taking things without anyone noticed.
The only reason Danny caught on to what he was doing was because this was his haunt, and his ghost side had growled in outrage the first time Alvin swiped some samples of various coffees. His human side just thought it was hilarious.
After a while, the part of him that was Phantom recognized the two as new members of his haunt and now purred whenever they took stuff. Phantom's desire to provide for those under his protection made it hard for Danny not to slip and purr or rub himself against people like a creepy cat.
Phantom also had this mysterious allure to humans. Sam and Tucker let him know after the three came across the Phan Club led by his old classmates. Paulina wanting to marry him wasn't a one-time thing. Almost all his classmates wanted to marry Phantom because a part of him influenced their attraction.
Halfas were like that.
Frostbite said halfas were close to sirens and that annoyed him more than anything.
His ghost side wasn't mansplain, manipulate but rather manwhore. At least with enough exposure, people developed immunity to his allure, so Danny ignored all the love-struck eyes made at him.
Danny still very clearly remembered coming back for his junior year, walking into the hallways and causing multiple jaws to drop.
Sam and he had broken up at the beginning of the summer, so she only blinked at his sudden appearance, but Tucker had been blindsided.
"Dude, don't take this the wrong way, but you look delicious"
Danny had fallen for him just a little for that alone.
The two of them dated all junior year with Sam's blessing but agreed they were better as friends by the end. It was awkward, but the three got past that, spending senior year snickering as various people tried to ask Danny out.
Danny was petty enough to admit he enjoyed turning them down, citing their past treatment of him as a "never going to happen". Breaking the hearts of the A-listers was a special kind of joy, especially Dash.
After taking the time with Elle to further develop his ghost side, he hadn't realized the big difference between him and the other halfas.
Vlad's accident case him to form over time, after getting ecto-acne, and the years he spent in the hospital were him repeatedly dying only to be brought back seconds after, by the ectoplasm forced into his face. It is no wonder he lost his sanity and became violently obsessed with his parents.
In the creation of Dan, Vlad's mind had finally been accessible to his human side again. The future Vlad was more mellow sure, has taken him in with a kind heart but that was because he had been more human then ghost. The ghost side no longer had his parents around so its vengeance was no longer needed ans it cleared up the maddness.
It was like his image of a human hand been painted over by his ghost. It didn't blend.
Jazz had realized this, and then after speaking to his parents, they vowed to help him. Surprisingly it worked, and now Vlad was not a fruitloop. Unfortunately he may be something far worse.
Vlad was now his parents' boyfriend. Ugh. It didn't help that it had been Vlad that given his parents a grant all these years, who had taken care of the family from afar, and that he was a gentle soul. Jack had named him godfather of his son because they grew up together and had always know the sweetheart hidden within.
His coming back from the dead madness had rekindled old feelings, and his mom admitted she had felt something for him too.
Ew.
Ellie was influenced by her ghost side too. She was a clone, but her core form first, and unlike the other failed clones, she was more like a ghost who learned to be human. She gave in more to her spirit urges, only really eating and sleeping because she thought they were fun. Her ghost was painted over by her human side, but it was a well balanced collage.
Danny was a single painting with two figures side by side.
Since his accident perfectly split his two parts his human side kept his ghostly influence at bay until he was about sixteen, where slowly but surely, he allowed his two pieces to start to fuse.
That's why Dan had gone off the deep end when separated from his human side. There was nothing hold his urge to protect after his loved one's death and his ghost part saw his human half trying to get rid of him as betrayal, so it reacted by betrayung his protective obsession- by destroying everything it could and eating Vlad's ghost only fueled his crazy.
There had been times when both his ghost side and human side were separated that didn't cause this. When he was spilt by Fenton Ghost Cather, his ghost side took the responsibility while his human became even lazier than average. That didn't mean they had different personalities, just that some aspects of themselves were futher away.
It was like his soul multiplied rather then broken. It's why he was able to stay sane, he didn't reject any part of him.
It just didn't help with their fusing his ghost was affecting humans and him. He now had to deal with even more love-struck eyes. Worse, according to Vlad and Frostbite, Danny was now entering his mating stage, and he was honest to Acients nesting.
The building next door that he had bought and developed to have decent-sized cubicles with warm beds meant to house the homeless was now mostly occupied by children.
Phantom was almost always purring, seeing street kids slowly move in. He offered them food, work, a roof, and warm water. The cubicles could be considered dorm rooms-a bed, desk, and small cabinets that were savage from other kids who sold them to Danny enough for them to walk into and sleep when it turned dark. Some leave in the morning, others stay, but Danny doesn't mind.
Maybe that's why Peter hated him so much. Alvin was weak to Phantom's charm and Danny knew a thing or two about older siblings trying to protect thier younger siblings from parent's bigotry.
Jazz made a face when ghost hunters got near him before the reveal. They weren't in danger anymore, but knowing that and relaxing around what they saw a threat were two very different things.
Peter and Alvin Draper appeared a month or so after the whole Scarecrow's incident. He didn't mean to run into the supervillain, knocking the man over in the middle of his villian monologue.
He had been too busy trying to get Sam and Tucker- dated in senior year and the last two years- to agree on the main decor for their wedding. Even after they got engaged, it was still Danny who smoothed their bickering to notice that he had stop breathing again.
Sometimes he forgot.
It took the guy stuffing a needle into his arm, the liquid already being cleansed by his ectoplasm before fully settling in his bloodstream, to realize this wasn't another Gotham citizen casually wearing a gas mask.
This was the reason people wear gas masks.
He punched the creep away from him, effectively allowing the heroes to lock him up. But in doing so, he put all his goons out of work. He hadn't known until two days later Andres had nervously walked into his bakery with a resume.
Andres had been the Scarecrow's right-hand man trying to get money for his dying mother, who had cancer. Danny didn't know what to do with a guy whose only valuable skill at a bakery was speaking Spanish but if he wanted to get out of life of crime then who was he to stop him?
His resume was impressive, but it was mostly how to handle illegal chemicals and torture, so Danny set him up as his cashier and co-baker. A few days later, Andres had carefully suggested other goons from Scarecrow's crew who needed jobs, and Danny found himself fully staffed that same day.
More people began visiting him for work, and Danny didn't what to do with them half the time.
Sighing, he placed the newest batch of ecto-cookies in a box for Manolo to take to his mother. The kid is rocking on his heels by the entrance. He is new to the streets after getting thrown out by his mother's ex, but now that she was cleaning up her addiction, Danny hoped he wouldn't be seeing him around the streets as often.
"Peter is going to shoot you," Andres said, looking at the man with the streak of white in his hair practically foaming at the mouth when he saw the small boy arrive for his delivery run. "Want me and the boys to take care of him?"
Danny glanced up to catch Alvin ducking his head, face a healthy red hue. The guy had been staring at him again, which meant Peter was being overprotective again.
"No" He tells Andres, putting the boxes in a little red wagon for the boy to tug around. "I'll handle him."
He walked by the brothers, Alvin already trying to sneak a box away. Danny quickly moved the wagon away from him. When there was nothing to cleanse, ectoplasm worked like a potent energy drink, and honestly, Alvin did not need more of a reason to get less sleep.
Alvin pouted when his chance to steal a cookie failed.
Cute Thought Danny
Our children will be gorgeous Responded Phantom Make Alvin mate.
Danny ignores Phantom to smile at Manolo. He slips into Spanish, quickly crouching down to be at eye level. "Hi buddy. How is the new sweater treating you?"
Manolo's dimple shows as he pulls the sleeves over his palms. "It's warm. I like how fluffy it is."
Phantom cooed, and a soft purr escaped him before Danny clamped down on the sound. "I'm glad. Ready for another day of deliveries?"
"Yes!" The ten year old chirps snapping the list of names and address out of Danny's hand. The baker laughs, pulling our his wallet.
"I know I can count on you, so I'll pay you upfront. If anyone gives you tips, you can keep them," He says, handing the boy five hundred. Manolo beams, pocketing the money and scurrying away with his wagon.
I want a baby Phantom whines
I'll eat a bagel later, Danny promises.
( Part 1 ) (Part 3)
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jinnie-ret · 4 months
Text
people pleaser
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stray kids x ninth member!reader (platonic)
genre: fluff, angst
content warnings: toxic friends
word count: 3.6k
summary: in her one kid's room episode, y/n reflects on how it was hard for her not to be so kind and sweet to everyone, because she just wanted them to like her.
MAIN MASTERLIST
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
The music at the start of the video played, cutting between different things the members were saying.
"Ah, she's too kind for her own good," Seungmin shook his head with a slightly sad smile.
"She hypes everyone up, she's like a mood maker of the group," Lee Know added on.
"Y/N is very selfless," Jeongin said turning his head to the others as they nodded.
"One Kid's Room, Y/N!" Y/N smiled into the camera, relaxed into the armchair with her comfy purple fleece on.
••••••
Ever since the group's trainee days, Y/N had been a people pleaser. Not that she realised that fact about herself, until it came to the future where she would reflect on herself.
She remembered when she had seen Han around the practice rooms, and it didn't matter what he did, singing, dancing or rapping... he was talented in all areas. He was even charming to her despite his shyness occasionally. She knew for sure he'd debut soon, he was an ace after all. There were also rumours going around that her good friend Chan was creating a group to join the showcase and have a chance at debuting. She wanted to be like him, so she made a lot of effort to greet him and be kind to him.
"Hi Jisung!" she would wave at him as she passed him in the corridors of JYP Entertainment.
Of course, Han being Han, would wave back without really knowing who she was at first, but he felt too awkward to ignore her. When he spoke to his hyung about a pretty girl always saying 'hello' at him, Chan was quick to tell Han about who his friend Y/N was (and also that she was off limits because he was thinking of adding her to the group but he didn't tell Han that last part).
Soon they became more comfortable around each other and Y/N found herself practising singing songs with Han, wishing she could belt notes like he could too.
"Wow, you're so good at hitting those higher notes! I wish I could do that," Y/N turned her head towards Han, from where they were both lying down on the practice room floor, feet pointed outwards to opposite walls but their heads side by side.
"Hey, you've got a great voice too, you know?" Han quickly moved his head to the side to look at her, but decided against it and stared right back up at the ceiling.
"You really think so?" Y/N's voice wavered. She needed reassurance, she knew that herself. There was still a long way to go, but she'd get to a place she wanted with her voice one day.
"I know so. Maybe one day you could be my backup singer?" Han said casually, before belly laughing when Y/N leaned over and turned to him with a pout.
"Hannnn!" she whined.
"Yah, you know I'm joking, just keep practising, you'll do great, yeah?" Han said genuinely, before standing up and hauling her up himself as they left the practice room.
•••
The next to join the group Chan was preparing for was a boy the same age as her, Jeongin. He was cute, Y/N thought, shy as well and maybe even similar to herself in some ways for wanting the approval of others, especially their future leader.
Dropping her bag in the corner of the room, first to arrive, Y/N quickly exited the practise room realising she needed the bathroom. Only to return to see Jeongin sheepishly standing in the entrance, Han looking away and Chan stood in the middle of the room with his arms folded.
"Jeongin you should have been here ten minutes ago," the Australian guy frowned running a hand through his hair. Ten minutes? Wow, Chan could be scary sometimes, and Y/N didn't regret joining the group lineup so far, but he was pretty strict.
"I-i was just..." Jeongin tried speaking up but clearly didn't have the words to explain why, practice bag in between his legs and hands clasped nervously behind his back.
"Oh that's my fault, Chan," Y/N decided to lie for him and came forward and stood next to Jeongin, resting her hand on his shoulder as they stood at the same height, "I was showing Jeongin this video at the dorms and I insisted he watch it before we leave..." she even looked off to the side awkwardly, and that part was genuine because the moment Chan let out a huff through his nose, she felt intimidated.
"Guys.... ugh, just, get ready for practice, yeah?" Chan sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose as the two youngest rushes to one side of the room.
"Why did you do that?" Jeongin whispered, pulling out his bottle of water.
"Because I want to know why you were really late," Y/N joked and nudges his shoulder, making him laugh.
"Guys, stop messing around!" Chan rolled his eyes. Y/N wasn't so sly, he saw her bag that had already been there, and knew she hadn't arrived at the same time as Jeongin, but he allowed the excuse nonetheless.
•••
Walking back into the dorms after a busy shift at work, with school the next day, hearing a loud argument was not ideal at all for Y/N. And of course, it had to be between Han and Hyunjin. The taller boy had recently been recruited by Chan after his exceptional dance skills and potential. Perhaps Han was jealous? Y/N didn't really know, all she wanted was her bed right now but she hated the confrontation she heard.
"You can't just leave your things around everywhere! You're so messy!" Hyunjin yelled at Han.
Y/N peeked her head round the hallway after taking off her coat and shoes to see them yelling at each other in the lounge. Chan and Jeongin were nowhere to be seen - they must be out somewhere.
"I was here first! You think I care about your complaints? Get over yourself!" Han shouted, fists clenched at his sides.
"Oh so it's not ok for me to complain, but you get to act like a spoilt brat and like you're better than everyone else?!" Hyunjin yelled once more.
"Guys, what are you doing?" Y/N yawned, staring at the shouting boys who immediately flipped round to their dongsaeng.
"Oh, hey Y/N," Hyunjin's eyes softened, and so did his tone as he saw her standing there tiredly.
"What are you doing up so late?" Han questioned, glancing across at her.
"She works, remember? Gosh, you don't care about anyone but yourself and-" Hyunjin shouted before Y/N quietly cut him off with her calming demeanour.
"Stop. Just stop. You ask me why I'm up late but you two are up awake and arguing... If we're gonna be a team we can't go on like this. And that's not fair to Chan," Y/N shook her head sighing. She couldn't even look at the boys, but from the resounding silence there was she hoped her words had gotten through to them.
"I guess you're right," Hyunjin nodded, shifting awkwardly on one leg.
They all looked at Y/N as if seeing her in a whole new way, she seemed more mature than ever in that moment.
"We all have early starts tomorrow, don't we?" Y/N checked with them, chewing on her lip.
"You're right we do," Han sighed and nodded.
"Right, let's sleep then," Y/N nodded and rushed off to her room, not wanting to be in that situation again. She liked offering her advice, yes, but being the voice of reason? That felt like another level of having responsibility.
"Let's not fight again," Hyunjin whispered, tired himself, physically and emotionally.
All Han could do was roll his eyes and nod as they retreated to their rooms.
It may not have been the last time they fought, but they both put in more effort to control their emotions.
•••
3RACHA was completed. Changbin joined Han and Chan in making music and releasing in onto SoundCloud together, and despite his darker aura, the boy was one of the most caring guys she had ever met.
He would check up on her often, noticing her floating away into her own little world. It happened again one day, when Y/N was sat in the studio with the three guys, until Chan and Han went to collect lunch.
"You good, Y/Nnie?" Changbin asked, breaking the comfortable silence that was in the room.
"Hmm, yeah, why?" Y/N wiped sleep out of her eyes as she saw him staring back at her.
"It's ok, you know, to be upset, or tired," Changbin gently spoke, sensing from the start that she was a sensitive, soft soul.
"I'm not upset... I just need to improve, that's all..." Y/N sighed, curling up into a tighter ball on the sofa, tugging a blanket over her legs.
"I saw your face after the staff spoke to you," Changbin informed her, helping to straighten out the blanket.
"They just said that I shouldn't expect to be a part of the group if I'm dancing and singing the way I do and that even a rat would have done a better job," Y/N shrugged, not able to look at Changbin.
"They what? They can't say rude shit like that to you!" Changbin stood up, arms folded.
"I-it was just constructive criticism," Y/N jumped slightly, not expecting the strong reaction from her fellow group member.
"No, they were rude to you, there's a difference between constructive criticism and being rude. How is what they said helpful in any way?!" Changbin growled, shaking his head with a clenched jaw.
"I just caught them in a bad mood-" Y/N shared the thought that was playing over and over again in her head, eyes shining as she looked up at Changbin.
"No, you didn't, ok? It's alright," Changbin side hugged her to him, joining her back on the sofa, "it's ok to feel sad from what they said, I just want you to talk to me about it, I'm here. Now, come on, Chan and Han will be back with food soon."
•••
Next to join the group was a charming freckled boy, also from Australia. He had quickly grown close with Chan from their shared nationality, but Y/N craved to be close with him too. She wanted him to like her, after all, she got on well with her other members, so she found herself worrying when she hadn't really had a chance to bond with him yet.
He was a cute and loveable guy, and with the language barrier, Felix not really knowing a lot of Korean yet, Y/N felt disheartened when her words would be met with a blank look from him. She just hadn't connected the dots yet, not realising it was because her quick ramblings in Korean were an overwhelming whirlwind of incomprehensible words.
"Hi Felix! I'm so glad you joined the group, you've got such a cool voice I think it will really make us stand out!" Y/N gushed to Felix after they all did a vocal practice together.
"Thank you," Felix awkwardly answered before looking away at the ground, smiling bigger only when Chan stood next to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder.
That was when Y/N decided she needed to find a better way to communicate with Felix, so she started writing notes, using an online translator to write an English translation below her Korean words, to tell him words of encouragement and show him she was there as a friend.
•••
"Thanks Y/N! See you soon, maybe," Y/N's trainee friends giggled as they left the lobby of JYP, Y/N waving goodbye to them as she zipped her purse back up.
"What was that about?" Seungmin spoke up, leant against the wall opposite her.
"Oh, umm, my friends asked if they could borrow some of my money to get some snacks," Y/N grinned, feeling happy she was able to help her friends.
"You didn't have to do that... give them your money so easily," Seungmin shook his head, walking over and standing closer to her now.
Seungmin was recognised for his polite nature and gorgeous voice, hence his joining of the group.
"It's ok, really, they needed it and plus they said they'd pay me back," Y/N defended her friends, lips pursing when she saw Seungmin frown.
"Whenever I see those friends of yours they ask for money," Seungmin was trying really hard for Y/N to see sense.
"It's fine I have a part time job for a reason," Y/N smiled, trying to brush away Seungmin's concerned but it only made it worse.
"Yeah, not to fund their snacks," his eyes only widened in response.
"They need it," Y/N's voice became higher pitched, as she was desperate for Seungmin to believe her and just leave alone the subject. She didn't want to be in any sort of argument with him but he also didn't want him to be thinking badly of her friends.
"So do you, please be careful around them," Seungmin sighed and patted her shoulder, seeing she wanted to leave the subject alone, as they both left the company.
Later that night at the dorms, Y/N and Seungmin were relaxing on the sofa, with the other members too, as they scrolled through their phones. Looking at her social media, Y/N tapped on her friend's story, only to see they were all hanging out without her, and seemed to be eating at a slightly more expensive fast food restaurant. But they didn't even have enough money for a snack earlier?!
It seemed Y/N had spoke this last thought out loud. Seungmin peered over her shoulder and frowned, recognising the people in the photos as his younger member's friends.
Stopping himself from telling her 'I told you so', Seungmin offered his comfort.
"You've got us, yeah? Don't worry about them anymore," Seungmin swiped off of the story and took her phone out of her hands.
"I don't know what i did wrong..." Y/N bit her lip, wondering how she always went wrong with her friends.
"You did nothing wrong, they took advantage of your kindness, Y/N, now let me order some fried chicken for us, yeah?"
•••
The final member Chan added to the lineup was a guy called Minho, who, very impressively, had completed the basic JYP dance moves in 2 weeks. Y/N was in awe of him.
"I can't believe you completed the moves already! I bet Chan will make you dance leader when we all get to debut together!" Y/N smiled at Lee Know, singing his praises.
"Aha, thank you," Lee Know awkwardly bowed at her, not really saying much after. Y/N just wanted to compliment him and show her appreciation, but seeing his short responses made her feel awkward too, and soon they'd be left in silence.
Y/N found herself sat there thinking, she spent so long trying to get everyone to like her, but maybe what she said, what she did, wasn't good enough?
"Is this too much for you?" Chan sat down next to Y/N, who had isolated herself to sit in the corner of the practice room.
"No it's fine," Y/N waved her hand away, running a hand through her hair.
"Tell me the truth," Chan insisted, shifting his body to look at her, feeling concerned.
"I am, I'm fine," Y/N bluntly said, not wanting to talk about how she truly was feeling, and the thoughts she was having.
"Don't lie to me, I need to know you can do this, I don't want you stressing out, we've got the showcase ahead of us, Y/N," Chan urged her to tell the truth, resting a hand on her knee, patting it gently.
"Look, ok, it is a lot to deal with but I can do it, I promise you. I just, I'm trying to figure everything in my head," Y/N leant her head back against the wall, closing her eyes.
"Thank you for telling me the truth, and, Y/N, that's why we're here, we don't want you feeling like you're on your own when you do so much for all of us, ok?" Chan side hugged her, warmth in his eyes, and some relief there when he finally broke through to her.
"I am? I mean, I do a lot for you guys?" Y/N's voice pleaded for the truth, looking at Chan with hope in her eyes.
"You always do," he smiled and ruffled her hair.
••••••
Back to One Kids Room, Y/N smiled as she thought about how she had come as a person.
"As much as I still look up to my members, my self-esteem has grown so much and I've learnt to value myself. I love them so much, but I need to give myself energy and time too," Y/N smiled at the camera, hands squeezing the long arms of her sleeves and balling them up.
"She's so much more confident now, I remember she used to ask me if this was fine or that but now she's more confident," Changbin commented, the other guys nodding in agreement.
"She used to come to me being like, woahhhhh you're such a good dancer!" Lee Know chucked, thinking of the younger version of Y/N, who would always praise her members.
"Ah yes she'd speak exactly like that! Wow... And she'd look at me like, with these wide eyes being like, I wanna rap like you!" Han laughed as he perfectly imitated how Y/N spoke to him.
"She used to have this really sweet habit, when I didn't know Korean very well, umm, she'd leave these little notes for me, and write the Korean and English translation for me just so I knew what she was saying. There'd always be these words of encouragement, it just made my heart feel warm," Felix told the members, who all 'ooh'ed in response, shocked at this fact because they didn't know that Y/N used to do that.
"Ah, yes, I did used to leave notes for Felix... I wanted to be his friend so badly! He just seemed so cool but whenever I spoke to him he just sort of awkwardly smiled and nodded. I thought he didn't like me, turns out he had no idea what I was saying, so I left notes for him instead... yeah," Y/N felt shy when she admitted this, covering her face.
"I remember back in trainee days, I was late for practice because I overslept. And then when I arrived I thought Channie hyung is really going to scold me but Y/N suddenly appeared, I think she came back from the bathroom or something but she said it was her fault that we were both late, and I thought phew, hyung won't be angry at me now, haha," Jeongin told his own story, remembering Y/N covering for him, and that wasn't the only time she had done that.
"I remember that! I knew she was covering up for you!" Chan gasped, pointing an accusing finger at Jeongin who laughed in response.
"She's so sweet and kind, whenever any of us would argue she'd try and stop it from happening," Hyunjin shook his head in wonder at how selfless Y/N was.
"Oh yeah! She'd try and get us to see from each perspective, even though I felt like I was right I thought wow I can't argue because now Y/N would be sad too if we carried on," Han covered his mouth slightly as he laughed, patting Hyunjin on the shoulder knowing that the argument he was referring to was definitely between the two of them.
"Right! Right! She's really good at seeing other people's feelings, but she used to struggle when it came to herself... She'd look so confused if I said to her that she was acting sad, she looked like a lost puppy..." Changbin said in a more serious tone.
"Oh when she had those puppy eyes! Yeah!" Chan nodded along enthusiastically, knowing the look all too well.
"It made my heart ache, she didn't understand, she's much better now though, I'll get a knock at my door and we'll talk for hours," Changbin confessed, feeling happy he was needed in helping his member feel better.
"Ah yes I talk to Binnie a lot about my feelings these days... I still find it confusing to understand how I feel but it makes a bit more sense when I talk with him, yeah..." Y/N began, still a bit shy in admitting when she needed help but better than she would have been before, "I don't think I look like a puppy? Seungmin is more like a puppy, haha."
"Remember Y/N used to have that part time job?" Seungmin asked the rest of the guys.
"Really?" Felix was shocked, not realising everything Y/N had to balance.
"Yeah she used to work at a cafe whilst training and school, I really admired that," Hyunjin grinned, proud of the younger girl.
"But she'd still have to ask us for money," Chan laughed.
"She'd spend it on her old friends! She wanted to make sure they were ok and then suddenly she wouldn't have any money left!" Seungmin said in disbelief, his voice cutely rising up and down in pitch showing how he was feeling.
"Oh, that makes sense I remember one time we got some boba, and she asked me like oppa, can you get me that please? And I asked her where her money went and she said she spent it on a present for Innie... I think it was near his birthday at the time," Lee Know commented, leaning back against the sofa.
"Woahh, my heart," Hyunjin gasped, placing a hand over his chest, "that's so cute!"
"Ah I love giving gifts! I feel like if I can find someone the perfect gift and they are happy then I'm really happy too," Y/N explained after a staff member asked her the question.
"I think I'm definitely different from debut days... If I could say anything about myself now... It would be... You have grown. Y/N has changed, but in a good way!"
"One Kid's Room, Y/N, finished!"
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
tagged: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @hannahhbahng @kpopmenace143 @sakufilms @kai-lee08 @arloo00 @dunno-wut-to-do @splat00z @cheesemonky @his-angell @turtledove824 @2minstan @royal-shinigami @yangbbokari
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