#feelings realisation

[neontoad]

“There is nothing in this life that makes it…”

Chuuya rolls his eyes and takes a drag of his cigarette, turning a deaf ear to Dazai’s yapping. He leans his back against the crane frame and squints his eyes at the lights of boats peppering Yokohama Bay like stars. Their little hiding point on the top of the port crane provides a perfect view of the vast and mighty sea they both adore but still… The night is cold and not particularly pleasant. Especially with Dazai babbling away about the meaninglessness of life, a pesky mosquito clad in black he has the misfortune to call his almost-friend. 

Pathetic. 

Still, even that is better than spending New Year’s Eve alone. 

He glances at his watch. Just a few more minutes until midnight. Until the date changes — and nothing else, really.

New Year is not a big deal.

Then why does it feel like it should be?

“If I were to jump off- oh!”

The genuine surprise in Dazai’s voice makes Chuuya’s head snap. He has to do a double take — Dazai looks ridiculous and almost human with his eyes crossed as he’s looking at a… large snowflake resting on the tip of his nose.

The snowflake melts almost instantly, leaving just a wet spot behind.

In unison, the boys raise their heads as they watch thousands of snowflakes descend on the city in an intricate waltz, the first snow deciding to grace the city in the last moments of the old year. 

Chuuya’s wristwatch beeps. 

And… it all changes.

As the snow continues to fall, Chuuya can’t get enough of the way little snowflakes stay on Dazai’s eyelashes, diamonds on the dark backdrop dissolving into nothing and quickly replaced by new, somehow even shinier ones. Dazai keeps grunting and trying to sweep the snow off the top of his head, and Chuuya has to resist the urge to grab his wrist and let the snowflakes linger on the dark brown strands for a bit longer. On the other hand… there is something precious in such fleeting, momentary beauty. 

The stray snowflakes on Dazai’s fringe twinkle under the crane lights, and it’s such a mesmerising sight, that Chuuya feels like his gravity is reduced to nothing as he floats in the galaxy of shimmering stars, lost in the shine so bright, he never wants to be found.  

Chuuya is brought back to reality when Dazai, ridiculously red-faced, lightly punches his shoulder and hands him a wrinkled plastic cup of o-toso sake. Their fingers brush when Chuuya takes the cup from Dazai’s hand, and he can swear that Dazai’s usually cold fingers are almost scorching hot — the fire Chuuya’d gladly embrace.

They clink their cups and Chuuya’s heart skips a beat at Dazai’s faint, sincere smile. 

“Happy New Year, Chuuya.”

“Happy New Year… Osamu.”

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #skk #soukoku #chuuya nakahara #dazai osamu #mini fic #teen skk #pm skk #feelings realisation #soft skk #first snow #new years eve #nye #fluff

[bloody-bee-tea]

Everything

Suguru is reading on the couch when Satoru spills himself all over him, no regard for Suguru’s book at all.

“Suguru,” Satoru whines, dragging his name out obnoxiously long and even though Suguru doesn’t take his eyes off his book, he does bury his fingers in Satoru’s silky hair, letting him know that he’s listening.

“My parents scheduled a date for me tonight,” Satoru tells him after enjoying the head scratches for a little bit and Suguru hums as he flips a page.

Since Satoru invaded his personal space like that he hasn’t been reading, not really, but it’s fun to rile him up like this, and just as expected, Satoru pawns at the book like an unruly cat.

“Suguru, are you listening to me?” he demands to know and Suguru lowers the book with a sigh.

“I’m always listening to you, you know that, Satoru. It’s nice that you have a date but did you forget that we’re meeting the others today?”

“I did not,” Satoru grumbles and he seems displeased. “Couldn’t reschedule though.”

“That sucks,” Suguru says, carding his fingers through Satoru’s hair in a steady motion. “You’re still coming with me first, though?”

“Of course I am! I told that guy to pick me up at Nanami’s place. But I’m going to miss out on so much fun.”

He kind of will, that much is true, but Satoru already looks so dejected that Suguru doesn’t have the heart to tell him.

“It will be boring after you leave, and if something funny happens, I’ll make sure to tell you.”

“You better,” Satoru sighs out and turns on his side, burying his face in Suguru’s stomach. “I’m gonna miss you.”

At that, Suguru chuckles because Satoru is being unreasonable and clingy. Not that Suguru minds it much.

“It’s going to be one evening. A few hours. We spent longer apart,” he reminds him and he feels more than he hears Satoru heave out a sigh.

“And I hated every second of that, too,” he petulantly says and curls himself up close, tucks all his long limbs as close to Suguru as he can get, his arms around Suguru’s middle as if he’s afraid that Suguru is going to get up and leave him there on his own.

“You big baby,” Suguru teases him gently and then pulls Satoru up and close despite Satoru’s initial protest, until he’s curled up in his lap, with his face pressed into Suguru’s throat. Satoru went slack the moment he started to understand what Suguru wanted and he’s resting heavily and solidly against Suguru.

Just like they both like it.

“So you didn’t mind it at all?” Satoru asks after a moment, and since they are so close Suguru can feel the minute tension in him, knows that the answer is important.

But it’s not as if Satoru has anything to worry about.

“I minded it so much,” Suguru easily gives back, because it’s true.

When he’s not with Satoru it always feels as if a vital part of himself is missing and it’s jarring, to say the least. He can deal with it for a few hours—it would be downright detrimental if he couldn’t—but the whole day had been hard.

“I couldn’t relax or concentrate the entire day. You know that. I’ve told you before.”

“I like hearing it again, though,” Satoru admits and Suguru hides his smile in Satoru’s hair.

“It only felt right again when you were back,” Suguru goes on and he still remembers that moment.

Satoru had draped himself all over Suguru the moment he stepped back into the apartment and Suguru had clung to him harder than probably necessary. Things only started to feel right again in that moment, as if a missing piece was sliding back into place.

Shoko is adamant that something about them is very wrong, that this co-dependency cannot possibly be healthy, but Suguru doesn’t mind it. Especially not since he knows that Satoru feels the same.

“Good,” Satoru breathes out, his breath tickling Suguru’s skin and making a shudder run down his back. “We still have time, right?”

Suguru cranes his neck to check the clock. “Yeah. At least half an hour. You can nap.”

“Perfect,” Satoru happily wriggles around in Suguru’s lap until he has found the perfect position to be in—which is exactly like it was before—and then he goes lax.

Suguru would call him out on faking it, if he didn’t know that Satoru really can fall asleep just like that, and so instead he tightens his arms around Satoru a little bit more, pulls him impossibly closer and then rests his cheek on Satoru’s head.

It’s his favourite position to be in and surely he can close his eyes for a moment, too, more than content to have Satoru in his arms like that and feel him breathing.

Suguru is sure that he can even feel Satoru’s heartbeat, in tandem with his own, and he wants to stay like this forever.

~*~*~

“Eh, guys?” Haibara unsurely says as he comes back from the door and everyone expectantly looks at him.

Everyone except Satoru, because he’s busy playing with Suguru’s fingers, his head on Suguru’s shoulder and pressed into his side. He has been in that position for almost the entire evening.

“Who is it?” Nanami asks, a frown on his face because clearly he doesn’t have any more friends than those that are currently gathered in his living-room.

“There’s a guy there who says he’s here to pick up Gojo for a date?”

Silence falls over the living-room and everyone immediately looks at them. Satoru continues to pretend that he didn’t hear and Suguru pokes him in the head.

“Did you hear that, your date is here,” he says and sighs when Satoru stubbornly continues to play with his fingers.

He only looks up when Suguru takes his hand back, ruffling his hair to make it sting less, but of course there’s a pout on his face.

“You’re so mean to me, Suguru,” Satoru says to which Suguru only rolls his eyes.

“Go on your damn date,” Suguru chides him. “You asked him to pick you up here, so off you go.”

He attempts to push Satoru off the couch, but of course Satoru clings to Suguru as if his live depends on it until he finally allows himself to slide off.

Suguru is under no assumption that he had anything to do with that.

“Fine, fine, I’m going. You better not have fun without me,” he says to everyone in the room, his trademark grin plastered back on his face and Suguru chuckles at his antics.

“We’re going to have so much fun,” Shoko says easily, like everyone kinda expected her to, but her gaze is intense and it’s entirely focused on Suguru.

It’s starting to make him uncomfortable.

“Well, I’m going to have so much fun, too,” Satoru shoots back in a childish manner and then he’s out of the door without a look back.

Immediately that feeling of something missing sets in, like it always does when Satoru isn’t in the room with him, and it only gets more pronounced when Suguru notices that everyone keeps staring at him.

“What?” he asks, distinctly uncomfortable with the attention, especially since he doesn’t understand.

“You’re okay with that?” Nanami asks him, nodding at the door.

“With Satoru?” Suguru asks in confusion, because why wouldn’t he be okay with Satoru?

“With him going on a date,” Shoko corrects him and Suguru shrugs.

“Sure. I mean, he told me about it, that his family scheduled another date for him and besides. What does him going on a date have to do with me?”

The stares get more intense.

“But he’s your boyfriend,” Haibara almost yells out. “How can you be okay with him going on a date with another guy?”

Now this brings Suguru up short.

“My boyfriend? Who? Satoru?” The confusion must be clear on his face because everyone shares a concerned look before they focus back on Suguru.

“You two are in a relationship, are you not?” Nanami asks, more careful than Suguru is used to from him and it makes Suguru’s mind go blank.

“We’re not,” he carefully says because it’s not like that between them.

“I saw you two kissing,” Shoko reminds him as if that should mean something but Suguru shrugs.

“He was upset and you know how he is with physical contact,” Suguru explains and he remembers that day well, mostly because it’s the only time he ever kissed Satoru.

They had been hanging out at Shoko’s place for once, when Satoru had gotten a phone call from his family. Those always leave him rattled even when they go over kind of okay-ish, but that one clearly hadn’t because he had been visibly upset after hanging up.

Suguru had ached to make it better, to soothe him, to reassure him that he would be always there for him and kissing him had just seemed like the best option.

It had worked, too.

But clearly Suguru’s explanation doesn’t actually clear up anything for the others because they stare just as incredulously at him as before.

“Suguru, you can’t be for real,” Shoko finally says. “You’re telling me that there is nothing going on between the two of you? That you don’t love him?”

“Of course I love him,” Suguru immediately replies, because it’s one of the very few truths Suguru has in his life.

The sky is blue, the grass is green and Suguru loves Satoru. It’s always been like that.

“Okay, but, you’re in love with him,” Haibara says as if that should make a difference but it actually doesn’t.

“So?”

“So, he’s out on a date. With another man,” Nanami tries to explain.

“He’ll be home by eleven at the latest, so what does it matter?” Suguru asks, honestly confused about the concerned looks he keeps getting.

“What if he isn’t?” Shoko asks. “What if he decides to go home with that guy?”

It makes Suguru flinch but he knows Satoru wouldn’t. He would never.

“Just imagine it,” Nanami now says as well, leaning forward. “Just imagine him going home with someone who is not you. Can you imagine them kissing?”

Satoru’s date is just a faceless person to Suguru, just like all the other guys his family tried to set him up with before, so it’s actually hard to imagine that but when he tries, when he really tries, his stomach lurches.

“Now imagine them cuddling on your couch,” Shoko edges him on and Suguru dutifully does that, too.

He imagines Satoru clinging to someone else the same way he clings to Suguru and this time, his heart misses a beat.

“And now imagine Gojo going to his own room at night, with someone who is not you, instead of crawling into your bed,” Haibara eagerly says and just hearing him say that makes Suguru sick to his very core.

“He would never,” he chokes out but Shoko shakes his head.

“Doesn’t matter right now. This is about you and how that makes you feel. How does it make you feel, Geto?”

It’s clear she doesn’t expect an answer because a downright mean smile is on her face and Suguru covers his face with his hands.

“Makes me feel like shit,” he still whispers out, his entire being shaken by this revelation.

He never worried about this before, always certain that it’s him and Satoru, that Satoru would always come back to him, and he’s upset that this little mind game would leave him so rattled.

“Because you’re in love with him.”

Suguru isn’t actually sure who says it, he just knows that it shouldn’t make a difference, that it’s just a fact that has been stated not even five minutes ago but this time it makes his ears ring and his heart beat out of his chest.

“Fuck, I’m in love with him,” he whispers, completely gobsmacked because how can this be such a revelation to him.

He has always loved Satoru, always knew that it would be him and Satoru against the world but this? Adding a romantic notion to it honestly never occurred to him, but of course it makes sense.

It makes so much sense, now that he thinks about it.

“Finally,” Shoko mutters and Suguru comes back to himself. “You are such an idiot.”

His mind is still reeling when his heart drops to the floor.

“He’s out on a date,” he whispers, horrified by the notion that Satoru is out on a date with someone who is not Suguru and his fingers itch with the need to do something.

“Can you—I don’t know, call him back?” Haibara asks and of course.

Of course he can. That’s the first thing Suguru should have thought of.

He gets his phone out, types out a quick I need you to come back home before he pockets it again and then he gets up.

Suguru knows that Satoru will see the message because even when he has his phone on silent he set it so that Suguru is the exception.

“I need to go.”

“Yeah, you better,” Nanami says with a roll of his eyes but he seems fonder than he normally does.

When Suguru passes by Shoko she slaps him on the ass.

“Go get him, tiger,” she says over his yelp and Haibara simply gives him a thumbs up.

It’s only when he’s at the door that he hears a concerned “You think they will be worse after this?” followed by several groans.

Suguru would be offended—they are not bad to begin with—but he actually has places to be and confessions to make.

~*~*~

Satoru arrives at home mere minutes after Suguru does, which is good, actually, because it gives Suguru less time to think about this too much.

He shouldn’t be nervous—it’s just Satoru after all—but that doesn’t stop him from being nervous as hell. Nervous enough that he actually flinches when Satoru enters their apartment.

“Suguru? Are you okay? What’s wrong?” Satoru calls out, and Suguru can just imagine how he toes off his shoes in his haste to get inside and he looks exactly as dishevelled and rushed as Suguru imagined when he finally spills into the living-room.

Satoru scans him quickly and then deflates where he stands.

“You’re not hurt,” he breathes out and Suguru can’t help it, he just has to go over and pull Satoru in a hug.

“You’re not hurt, right?” Satoru asks, clearly unsure again and Suguru shakes his head before he presses himself closer.

“I missed you,” he whispers, aware that it’s entirely inadequate to encompass everything he is feeling but it’s at least something.

Satoru lets out a fond chuckle before he scratches at Suguru’s scalp.

“Usually I’m the clingy one, Suguru. It’s barely been an hour, what happened?”

“I’m in love with you,” Suguru breathes out. “Don’t go on any more dates.”

“I’m in love with you, too,” Satoru immediately gives back, but Suguru shakes his head.

Satoru says it like Suguru said it to their friends before, like it’s something that should be clear, but now Suguru knows that it’s not.

He needs to explain this better.

“I’m in romantic love with you, Satoru,” he says as he slightly pushes away from Satoru, just enough to be able to look him in the face. “I want to kiss you. I don’t ever want you to go on a date with anyone else besides me again. I want you to be mine.”

“I am yours,” Satoru easily says, a habit so well practiced that the words are out before he truly comprehends what Suguru said. Suguru knows that because he can pinpoint the exact moment Satoru understands because his eyes go wide and his lips quiver.

“Oh,” Satoru breathes out. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Suguru nods, his heart in his throat.

It doesn’t need to be, Suguru knows that, because this is Satoru and he trusts him with more than his heart, but it only settles when Satoru smiles at him.

“I am yours,” Satoru reiterates and Suguru knows that this time, he understands. “I’m in love with you, too, Suguru, of course I am.” He laughs at his own words, clearly just as surprised and taken off guard as Suguru had been earlier and he’s so pretty Suguru wants to die.

“I love you,” Suguru says and peppers Satoru’s face with kisses, punctuating every one with another whispered I love you and Satoru laughs and laughs.

His laugh tastes like sunshine and love when Suguru finally captures his lips with his and he has to agree with Shoko, however belated it might be.

They truly are idiots because this feels exactly as it did back then when he kissed Satoru for that very first time and it really should have clued him in already. He never wants to stop doing it.

“No more dates,” Suguru breathes out when they part and Satoru pouts at him in a way that makes Suguru want to kiss it off. So he does, because he can now.

“I can’t take you on dates?” Satoru then asks, mischief sparkling in his pretty, pretty eyes and Suguru flutters a kiss over them.

“No more dates with people who are not me,” he amends and Satoru clings to him in a way that makes Suguru wish they could melt together.

“Only with you,” Satoru agrees, his lips against the soft skin of Suguru’s throat and when Suguru somehow manoeuvres them onto the couch, Satoru ends up in his lap again, just like he did earlier that day.

They really should have noticed this sooner, Suguru thinks, as his fingers splay against the milky white skin of Satoru’s waist, as he presses kiss after kiss to Satoru’s forehead.

Well, better late than never, Suguru thinks and pulls Satoru impossibly closer. It’s good that they already had a touchy relationship before because he doesn’t think he could stop this anytime soon.

“I love you,” Suguru says into the crown of Satoru’s head and Satoru hums like a content cat, nudging his nose against Suguru’s chin, before dropping kisses there.

“I love you,” he says in turn and Suguru practically melts into the couch.

It feels exactly the same as before and yet, somehow, it feels like so much more.

It feels like everything.

#bt writes #jjk #satosugu #stsg #geto suguru #gojo satoru #fluff #domesticity #feelings realisation #idiots in love #love confessions #getting together #touchy-feely

[riversofmars]

I keep thinking I need to get better at cross-posting again and then I forget. But here we are with another attempt. A little fic for the prompt "Lost Dog". Sounds random and it is, but it also really worked and was fun to write!

One And Only

Summary: On her way back from the shop, Liv makes a sudden and unintentional acquisition. Rushing back to 107 Baker Street, she hopes Helen will be able to help her with her predicament. One thing she hadn't banked on, however, was that she was setting off an avalanche of surprisingly emotional revelations. (Rating: G)

“HELEN!” Liv yelled up to flat 4 at 107 Baker Street, hoping her best friend would still be in the living room where she had been when she’d left. She couldn’t risk opening the door. “HELEN!” she called again, drawing curious looks from passers-by and tried her best to ignore them. The last thing she wanted to do was cause a scene, things were bad enough as they were. Mercifully, eventually, her best friend stuck her head out of the window and looked down to her.

“Liv? Is everything alright?” she called back, and it seemed she hadn’t realised her predicament, else she would likely have commented.

“Can you come down here a minute?” the med-tech requested and Helen, kind and considerate as she always was, merely nodded with a smile, closing the window again. Liv made her way up to the front door, hoping against hope her problem would solve itself but it didn’t. “Yeah, alright-” she mumbled, waiting anxiously until the linguist finally opened the door.

“What is it?” she asked brightly, only to have the chocolate coloured dachshund, that had been following Liv, jump up at her legs with excitement. “Oh-” She blinked, confused and was likely asking herself the same question the med-tech had been struggling with the last few minutes: Where had the dog come from?

“It won’t leave me alone,” Liv rushed to explain. “It just started following me and- It was trying to come in the house and I didn’t know what to do so…” Her rambling trailed off when she saw her friend crouch down to greet the animal with a wide grin.

“Hello you…” she hummed, brushing her hand across his head and behind his ears. She seemed perfectly at ease, even looked to be enjoying herself, and Liv gaped.

“Careful! What if it has fleas?” she exclaimed and Helen laughed.

“He’s clearly a pet, he’s got a collar, the lead is still attached and look how clean he is. Clearly his owners have lost hold of him, that’s all,” she chuckled as the dog rolled over, presenting its belly to her, begging for more affection. It was actually quite cute, as was the look on her friend’s face.

“Yeah well-” Liv flapped her arms and the linguist looked up to her.

“What’s the matter?” she asked with a grin. “Do you not like dogs?”

“I don’t not not like dogs, I just… don’t know what to do with them-” the med-tech admitted, her cheeks pinking as she scratched the back of her head. Perhaps she had been a bit exaggerated in her response. “We don’t have them on Kaldor.”

“You don’t have dogs on Kaldor?” Helen echoed in disbelief.

“It’s not the sort of place where you can walk pets,” Liv shrugged. It wasn’t something she had ever truly thought about. She’d known people to have pet lizards and the like but that was about it. Dogs were hardly suited to the desert. Looking at the linguist now, seeing the grin that was painted on her lips while stroking the small creature, she thought perhaps she could be convinced into having one…

“Oh, Liv,” the blonde chuckled as the dog turned over once more, jumping up her knees, clearly wanting to be in her arms. “You’re missing out.”

“He clearly likes you,” Liv commented, unable to help a smile of her own. It was lovely to watch. “Did you have one? When you were younger?”

“No… no… I wanted one, but… father would never have allowed it…” A flash of sadness crossed her friend’s face. “This girl I used to be friends with had one… I’d go around all the time. While I could anyway…” She cleared her throat, clearly not wanting to dwell on it, so the brunette didn’t push. Instead, she watched her getting up and grasping the lead. “We’ll have to try to find his owner… Did he just run up to you?”

“Yeah, literally, just halfway up the street suddenly he was there snaking around my legs-” Liv answered truthfully and as she gestured down the road, Helen’s eyes fell to her hand, spying what she was holding.

“Think it’s that sausage roll…” she pointed out with a smirk and the med-tech looked down at the half-eaten pastry in her hand.

“Oh.”

“Well, with his little legs, he can’t have run very far,” Helen concluded, looking up and down the road. “Which way were you going?”

“Just down the road from Greggs…” Liv answered and the blonde nudged her to get walking.

“Is this a reflection on the salad I made for lunch?” she teased as they fell into step with each other.

“That was lovely!” the med-tech retorted immediately, colour draining from her cheeks. She didn’t mean to offend her, not when she had been so kind to make her a lovely lunch. She had, however, still been peckish and the opportunity had been there when her friend had sent her to the shop for milk… only, she hadn’t gotten that far yet. Then the dog had happened.

“But you still had to get a sausage roll,” Helen hummed, fixing her eyes forward.

“Well… salads are not that filling…” Liv mumbled awkwardly, fighting a wave of concern. “I’m sorry, are you mad?”

“Not even a little,” the blonde laughed, shooting her an affectionate look. “Just amused. Teaches me for trying to feed you healthily.”

“I eat healthily! Just fancy a treat every now and again,” the med-tech launched a feeble defence, relieved that she hadn’t taken offence. The dog was walking ahead of them happily, though as she took a bite of the sausage roll it promptly stopped to whine at her. She nearly fell over it, drawing another laugh from her best friend.

“And you call a sausage roll a treat?” she quipped, clearly amused. “Well, I was thinking of doing some baking later, but maybe now I need to reconsider if you don’t want anything sweet…”

“Were you really?” Liv’s expression brightened immediately. She adored Helen’s baking. And really, everything else she made. Just as she adored her… She could probably feed her anything and she’d thank her… But the prospect of baked goods was certainly an intriguing one.

“Well, let’s find who this dog belongs to, and then we can talk about cake,” Helen suggested with a smirk and that certainly quickened her friend’s steps.

“Right, let’s get to it!” she declared, stuffing the remainder of her sausage roll into her mouth in a messy, yet somewhat adorable display. “Surely whoever lost him will be looking for him too,” she spoke through crumbs, hoping the dog would be less distracted now.

“Oh my god, Aiyko!” a female voice called ahead of them, making them both look up. A woman who was dragging along a small child hurried towards them. Her face was flushed in near panic and promptly, the dog started pulling. “You’ve found our dog!” This was clearly the owner and she crouched down to greet her pet with joy and relief.

“I turned around and he was just following me,” Liv said, exchanging a quick look with Helen who was smiling happily as well. They had gotten lucky for their search to yield results so quickly.

“Eyeing up her sausage roll, most likely,” the linguist added, giving her friend an affectionate nudge as the woman looked up to them.

“My son insisted he just had to hold him and of course he let go and- Trying to manage a child and a dog-” she gestured to her son who looked about five years old and was now having a turn at greeting the dog.

“Oh we can only imagine,” Helen gave back kindly. “Everything was fine though, he was very friendly.” She knelt down as well, giving the small dog another stroke as this was goodbye.

“His recall could be better,” the woman sighed as she straightened up and looked to Liv with an apologetic smile. “All these distractions- I’m so sorry to have inconvenienced you.”

“It was no bother at all, he’s lovely,” the blonde carried on and looking up to her to check it was okay to do so, she handed the lead back to the small boy. “Here you are, little man. Hold on tightly this time, yeah?” The child gave a firm nod, as she took care to wrap the lead around his hand so he couldn’t so easily lose it.

Liv, for her part, found herself rather transfixed. She knew her friend to be kind and gentle and every time she witnessed it first hand, the affection she held for her in her heart grew. Soon enough, she feared it would burst. So far, she had done alright to keep her romantic feelings for her hidden, assuming them unwelcome, but she wasn’t sure if she would be able to keep it up indefinitely.

“Thank you so much, honestly, I don’t know what we would have done-” the woman sighed, running her hand through her hair as the shock slowly wore off and Helen stood up again.

“It’s really no problem at all, just glad we found you,” the linguist gave back kindly. “I’m not sure how Liv would have coped with a dog in the flat. That would be a first.” She shot her friend a cheeky smile and the med-tech rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly.

“He’s cute, but probably not the best first pet,” she admitted sheepishly, glad the matter had been easy enough to resolve.

“Please, let me buy you a coffee as a thank you?” the woman suggested. “You and your girlfriend.” She looked in between the two of them hopefully.

Liv’s heart dropped and Helen seemed perplexed.

“My-” she started but the med-tech was quick to interject, trying to avoid an uncomfortable situation.

“No, it’s fine, really.” She shook her head firmly. “ Just happy you got him back. We do have to get on.”

“Thank again,” the woman smiled and as her son was already starting to wander off with the dog again, she had no choice but to rush after them, leaving them in a muddle without realising as much. Silently, tensely, they turned to head down the road back towards Baker Street.

“Helen… you okay?” Liv probed eventually, disliking the heavy silence that had settled around them.

“Yes… perfectly fine…” the linguist answered and far too quickly. It made the med-tech all the more worried.

“Really?” she prompted anxiously, as her stomach twisted itself up in knots. Helen didn’t answer, not immediately, silence fell again and it took the length of another two houses before she asked:

“Why do you think she said that?”

“What?” the brunette questioned, even though she knew full well what she meant. It was the comment that had thrown her, too, though only out of concern over the effect it might have on her friend.

“That she assumed we-” Helen flapped her hand in between the two of them but didn’t look at her.

“Oh uh… I dunno…” Liv mumbled awkwardly, pushing her hands into her pockets, taking to watching the pavement beneath her feet. Perhaps she had caught the way she had been looking at her, so full of adoration… Everyone seemed to be aware of it… Ron and Tony had commented. Tania had asked about their relationship. Sometimes she even thought the Doctor knew… Like that time he had set them up on a date on Kaldor… It seemed the most obvious thing in the world to anyone except Helen herself… and while it remained like that, Liv wouldn’t dare to say anymore.

“I forget…” the linguist carried on with a little huff and the brunette frowned, confused.

“Forget?” she echoed and with a deep breath and without looking at her, Helen elaborated.

“That it’s… In this time… that it’s perfectly normal… People don’t think twice… They see two women together and just… assume it might be that…”

“Well… it’s not so far-fetched, is it?” Liv commented though she wasn’t entirely sure why that had been her response of choice. Perhaps it was just that she wanted some sort of confirmation that in another universe, it could be that… even if it wasn’t.

“If you say so…” the linguist mumbled, dropping her eyes to the floor and her friend’s frown deepened. While she hadn’t expected enthusiastic agreement, she found her tone odd. She didn’t seem uncomfortable at the thought, merely disbelieving and perhaps a little disheartened. Liv couldn’t be sure so she probed further.

“You don’t think so?”

“What would you possibly want with me…” Helen scoffed, shooting her a look, a pained half-smile that made the brunette’s chest tighten. Was she serious? Did she really think she wouldn’t want her in some way that implied she wasn’t just not interested but that she wasn’t good enough?! It was ludicrous!

“Helen!” She grabbed her arm and stopped her, forcing her to face her. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“I’m just saying… Even if, you know… You wouldn’t end up with me…” the linguist answered, seemingly confused as to why she had stopped her, but sure of her answer. She started walking again, as if she was trying to evade the conversation. “I think Tania has her eye on you anyway and she’s probably more-”

“More what?” Liv shot back, quickening her steps to catch up. “My type?” Annoyance swept over her. “You haven’t got the first idea what my type might be! What I find attractive in a woman. What I would be looking for in a partner,” she argued, surprising herself with the sharpness of her tone. She wasn’t setting out to have a go at her but she needed to make her understand that she was in no way lesser than Tania or any other woman for that matter. As far as the med-tech was concern, she was the one, the only one-

“Well no… How would I know… You haven’t said…” Helen countered calmly, if slightly shakily. She didn’t look at her or stop.

“You haven’t asked!” the med-tech retorted, unable to keep a measure of hurt from her voice. It wasn’t that she was hurt, no, that was wrong to assume. It was that she hurt for her friend who seemed to think terribly little of herself to misjudge the situation so grossly. If only she had asked, perhaps then she’d understand…

“Right,” Helen mumbled, a flash of hurt crossing her face as well, and Liv felt the conversation slipping away from her. This was not what she was aiming for, she never, ever, wanted to hurt her friend, so she changed course.

“I like kindness,” she said, and the linguist’s response was puzzled.

“Kindness?” she echoed, and the med-tech found she was having some manner of success as she actually looked around that time, awaiting her explanation.

“Someone who puts others before herself,” she carried on. “Who gives people the benefit of the doubt, who doesn’t judge, who always tries her best, even sometimes to her own detriment.” That was something Helen often did… with the resonance engine, in Salzburg… Before the blonde had the opportunity to respond, she carried on, fixing her eyes forward. “Intelligence. I like that. Someone who is sharp and witty and who I can turn to for advice, who surprises me with her insight and talks rings around me when she wants to. Someone who I am in awe of,” she continued, speaking with no-one but her best friend in mind.

“Good luck finding-” the linguist scoffed but Liv spoke over her, undeterred.

“I like someone who is curious about the universe and passionate about the things she believes in. Who doesn’t shy away from doing the right thing, even when it’s hard. Someone I can trust with my darkest secrets and who loves me in spite of them.” Carried by a wave of determination, she stepped into Helen’s way, turning to face her and to make sure she was listening, even as her voice grew shaky. She hadn’t expected herself to turn emotional but she was. “Someone who I can be vulnerable with and don’t have to act strong all the time. Someone who is my best friend as well as my lover and truly understands me,” her voice broke a little but she met her friend’s eyes anyway, hoping - stupidly - that she would understand. “And the fact that she is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on is just the cherry on top.”

“Liv-” Helen whispered, overcome. Tears had long since sprung to her eyes and the look in her eyes left no doubt that she knew exactly what she was saying. It made the med-tech’s heart race, anxiety crawling up her back but she tried to hold firm. For Helen. If nothing else, she needed her to understand how wonderful she thought her, and how much she meant to her.

“And if she doesn’t feel the same way about me, that’s also fine because I’m just happy to have her in my life,” she concluded, hoping to limit some of the damage her words had the potential to do. “If I can’t have her heart I will settle for her friendship and still call myself the luckiest woman in the universe for being allowed to share my life with her.”

Helen dragged her hand across her cheek, trying to catch her tears but failing. She gave a little sniffle as she dropped her eyes, self-conscious and insecure. Liv’s heart ached for her and she took the fact that she hadn’t run away yet as encouraging. The only way forward was facing things head on now.

“You wouldn’t happen to know someone like that, would you?” she asked softly and the linguist gave a heart-breaking little sob as she shook her head.

“I-I think you’re wrong…” she whispered, her voice thick with tears and Liv’s heart sank. She had miscalculated.

“Right…” she mumbled, her shoulders drooping in defeat but then, Helen continued in a shaky whisper.

“You wouldn’t be the luckiest woman in the universe… that would be whoever has the privilege of calling you their own…” she breathed, desperately trying to stop her tears from falling. “And if that was me… oh Liv--” She shook her head to herself in a disbelieving manner, touching her fingers to her trembling lips as she squeezed her eyes shut for a moment.

Carefully, hopefully, and with her heart thundering in her chest, the med-tech reached out for her hand, moving it away from her face and tugging it towards her.

“I wish it was…” she gave back, offering a heartfelt, emotional smile as her friend’s eyes blinked open again, looking at her in wonder. Gently Liv leaned forward, pressing a tender, chaste but lingering kiss to her lips.

Helen drew a sharp breath of surprise, standing motionless for a moment and her friend waited, hopeful yet terrified until she responded with a slow, soft kiss of her own. It was blissful and new and wiped away all the doubt and pain that had come before.

In the end, the linguist pulled back far too soon for Liv’s liking, but she knew she shouldn’t rush her. She simply offered her a soft, encouraging and patient smile.

“Are you sure?” Helen asked in a wobbly voice, her insecurity far from gone but now that they had made a first step, the med-tech knew what to do. She would make her feel like the most important, most treasured woman on the planet, not letting up until she believed how precious she was to her.

“How about you let me buy you coffee and a cake?” she suggested softly, raising her hand to her lips and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. It was a tender gesture and the expression that filled her friend’s face was enough to make her melt. She looked so surprised, so moved, so disbelieving that this tenderness was meant for her and it only made the med-tech want to give her more, anything, everything she could possibly desire. She would lay the world at her feet if she could and the simple fact that Helen, sweet, unassuming, insecure Helen, didn’t think herself worthy of it made her all the more determined to prove it to her.

“Like a date?” the linguist whispered, as though she didn’t trust herself to speak up for fear her voice might break once more.

“If you’d do me that honour…” Liv smiled, reached for her cheek to brush away her tears as best as she could.

“Nothing would make me happier…” Helen answered tearfully, dragging her sleeve across her eyes and Liv intertwined their fingers as she chuckled.

“Shame…”

“What?” the linguist’s head snapped up, colour draining from her cheeks but the med-tech elaborated quickly.

“Shame we didn’t have that conversation sooner… could have had it for free,” she grinned and while Helen looked instantly relieved that she hadn’t changed her mind, her expression quickly turned to a scowl.

“Liv!” She gave her arm a playful slap for having tricked her so and Liv laughed, wrapping her arms around her in a tight embrace. She would never let her doubt again.

#doctor who #fanfiction #liv chenka #helen sinclair #big finish #femslash #liv x helen #fluff #feelings realisation

[camaro-and-smokes]

Little Siren

I wrote this little fairy tale as a gift for @medusapelagia as part of @harringroveholidayexchange.

You can read it also on AO3 >>

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Billy Hargrove, Steve Harrington, Nancy Wheeler (mentioned briefly) Tags: Fairy Tale Style, Mermen, Merman Billy Hargrove, AU Magical Realism, Light Angst, Happy Ending, First Meetings, Feelings Realization Words: 9,516

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Once upon a time, in a parallel plane, not quite like in fairy tales but not quite like ours either, was a vast city with skyscrapers climbing towards the sky, glass and metal glinting in the sunlight. The city rose along the shore of a vast sea that was wider than it was deep, but still deep enough to hide secrets under its surface of which stories were told, but no human had ever lived to tell the tale… 

Sunlight filtered through gentle waves and it flickered across Beacher's–Billy's–tanned skin and his red and golden tail. He glided through the water, his powerful tail propelling him forward as his goldfish-like fins rippled gracefully on his sides and the end of his tail. Through the shimmering beams of sunlight, he took in the beauty of the underwater world that surrounded him. 

Schools of silvery fish flashed by, their scales glinting in the light, and delicate strands of kelp swayed back and forth, tickling Billy's sides as he parted them. In the distance, the hulking shadow of a whale drifted past. 

Billy paused in front of a pearliest of pearly shells, floating in place as he brushed back his long blond hair. He gazed at his reflection in it, admiring his long eyelashes, his muscular torso and his strong tail, pursing his lips and winking at himself. He appreciated the beauty of his siren form and the powerful force of his deceitful voice that drew seamen to their demise every time. 

He drifted lazily through the sun-dappled water, webbed fingers trailing over swaying kelp fronds. In the distance above him, the shadowy silhouette of a ship appeared, and his eyes brightened. Swimming closer, he could make out the shape of a fishing boat. A perfect opportunity for some entertainment. 

Billy began to sing, his voice rising eerily through the water. "Come closer, my hearties...let me guide your way..."

His voice echoed like a haunting melody across the waves. On board the ship, the crew paused in their tasks, faces blank. As one, they turned towards the railing, following the irresistible song. 

With a victorious smile, Billy circled beneath the keel, still singing. The crew leaned over the sides, eyes glazed and vacant. “Come, come, just a little closer...”

The men were already climbing over the railings, ready to jump into the ocean, and Billy laughed victoriously, breaking the spell he'd cast. 

Shouting in alarm, the sailors stopped and climbed back onto the deck. 

Billy breached the surface and watched in amusement as the crew scurried about on the deck. Humans were fun to toy with.

But he had slowly grown tired of these games since they always ended up the same way. Also, he didn’t want to be forever trapped under the eye of his ever watchful and harsh father, the King of the Merfolk.

He’d tried to flee many times. The furthest he’d ever gone from his father’s realm was the border of the other seas that met theirs. He’d never crossed to the other side, for those seas were cold and their waters murky, and Billy had realised that he didn’t like that. His father had always been gleeful about his return, telling him how he’d known that his son wouldn’t be built for such harsh living conditions. 

Knowing there was no other place to go, Billy had swallowed his pride and tried to do his best to settle for life in this sea. 

But when a big, hardcover ship, the like Billy had never seen before, had sunk and laid to rest on a ledge in a deep trench where Billy often spent his time exploring the world that was so different from the waters he lived in, where sun still shone through the waves, his desire to experience something new had been sparked anew. 

He’d spend hours upon hours feasting on the decks with his fellow sirens, not believing that so many humans could travel on one ship. But when the feast ended, he’d explored the ship’s insides and the strange structures and materials that were on board. 

And there, in one cabin, he’d seen it. This strange thing, as if several leaves were put together, filled with scribbles and displays of the human world. He’d admired the different depictions of humans and their world in it, colourful and strange.

He’d kept it hidden and taken it out only when he was alone. He was sure no other siren would understand his interest over the life on land above, so he treasured it and kept it as his own secret. When it eventually dissolved, Billy remembered each depiction by heart. They filled his mind when he wasn’t exploring the sunken ship, and consumed by the miracles of the human world, he became more convinced day by day that he wanted to experience the world above the waves for himself.

Billy swam further from the ship and breached the surface, looking at the distance where a sparkling skyline of a vast city rose along the shore. The large structures climbed towards the sky, glinting, as tall as the deepest depth Billy had ever dared to dive to. The low rumble of strange sounds and voices echoed across the water. 

What a world that must be , Billy thought wistfully. So full of life, so busy and chaotic . And somewhere in those glittering towers were people living out their lives. That was where he yearned to be. He longed to be among the people, to get lost in the crowds. To laugh, to cry, to live as the humans did. 

“I'll find a way,” he whispered to himself. "Soon, I will." 

For now, he could only observe the alluring city from afar. But he was determined to uncover the secrets the shore hid behind it. He would forge a connection between these two worlds, no matter the cost.

Invigorated, Billy dove back down into the cool blue depths. The image of the vibrant city remained in his mind as he swam, fuelling his growing resolve. An opportunity to make his dreams a reality would arise. 

And when that moment came, he would seize it without hesitation.

Billy swam through the swaying kelp forests, lost in thought. How does one trade fins for feet? How to cross that unfathomable divide between the realms?

In the distance, at the bottom of the sea, he could see the looming silhouette of a sunken ship. He realised, with gathering excitement, that what the wreck hid inside would offer him the chance he so much yearned for. Forgetting all the warnings of never to approach the shipwreck, he dove towards it, sunlight rapidly fading around him.

The ancient wreck was home to the legendary sea witch Morgana. Few dared approach her lair, but the rumours said she possessed power beyond any siren's wildest dreams. Power over life and death itself. 

Billy hesitated, conflicted, but for a mere moment. The longing to walk on land, to truly live as the humans did, burned bright inside him. This was the way. Taking a deep breath, Billy swam inside the wreck, shivering as coldness enveloped him. 

Strange plants glowed inside the rotting hull, casting an eerie shimmer around him. At the heart of it laid a chamber shrouded in shadow. "Come in, come in, little siren," a smooth voice purred. "I've been expecting you."

Morgana melted out of the darkness, eyes glinting. She was at once mesmerizingly beautiful and utterly despicable, with bright green, piercing eyes. Magic crackled at her fingertips.

Billy steeled himself. "I wish to live among humans. Can your magic make it so?"

The witch smiled slowly, sensing an opportunity. "For a price, my dear. For a price." She circled around Billy like a shark, her long black hair billowing around her and her floating umbrella tail with its poisonous tentacles under her. "You have a beautiful voice, little siren. Humans do anything just to hear you sing. Perhaps you could use it to get something I desire."

Billy lifted his chin defiantly. "And what is it you want?"

"A trifle, really," Morgana purred. "I shall grant you legs to walk among humans. But in return, you must bring me the tears of a human in love, freely given. Do this, and you can remain on land for the rest of your existence. Fail, and you will belong to me, forever."

Billy scowled, his bravado unwavering. To enchant a human and to make them believe their tears were of true love with his voice would be simple enough. Without another thought, Billy declared, “I accept your bargain.”

Morgana's smile turned cruel. "I thought you might, little siren." She began chanting in a strange tongue. 

The water around Billy churned violently. 

"One fortnight," Morgana said. "Bring me the tears or lose your freedom forever."

Billy gritted his teeth against the pain. When it subsided, a pair of human legs had replaced his shining red and golden tail. Wide-eyed, he looked up at Morgana, who was smiling a toothy smile, bearing her pin sharp teeth. 

“Go, my little siren, go fill your desire,” the witch croaked. “Go, walk among the crowds and fill the pact.”

Billy kicked upwards, breaching the surface. The city gleamed before him, impossibly big and bright. A cocky grin spread across his face as he imagined luring a puny human under his spell. His siren powers had never failed him before. Why should this be any different? 

"Finding some fool to declare their true love will be child's play," he boasted to himself. "I'll have those humans eating out of my hand."

When he arrived in the shallows, a clock tower chimed in the distance as if heralding his arrival. Billy took a deep breath, savouring his first lungful of the human realm. Exhilaration flooded through him. No matter what trials lay ahead, he would let nothing stop him from experiencing life on land. The time to put Morgana's bargain to the test had come.

But in all his arrogance, Billy hadn’t spared a thought for the sea witch's reputation for cunning and trickery. 

***

Billy crawled out from the sea foam and to the shore. His steps were first a little unsteady, feet unsure on the sandy shore as he stumbled on land for the first time. His cocky grin returned as he looked at himself, standing on the sand, wearing a red shirt, blue jeans and boots, the human clothes Morgana had granted him - and a dash of little magic that dried it all in a blink of an eye.

He started towards the city and the closer to the street on the side of the beach he walked, the more natural his feet and this new way of moving felt. And with each step, he was more convinced that he was ready to embrace whatever fate had in store.

With head held high, he imagined the fun he would have in this new world.

As he got closer to the broad walk, the sounds of the city engulfed him. Strange machines honked incessantly as they sped by on the street. Piercing wails sounded in the distance. The chatter of a thousand sounds melded into a dizzying din. 

Billy smiled and his eyes widened as he took in the towering structures reaching towards the sky. Their surfaces reflected the vibrant, bright lights that adorned every street. He closed his eyes as he took in a deep breath through his nose. The scent of pinching fumes and food overwhelmed his senses. 

He walked in a daze down the bustling streets, bombarded by sensations foreign to him. The shoes and the hard stone felt strange and unyielding beneath his feet, so unlike the soft sand of his underwater home. He ran his hands along the colourful walls, mesmerised by the colours of the ornaments and garments on display. Humans were standing by tables holding foods that smelled heavenly. Billy didn’t know what the foods were, but the scent alone made his mouth water. He had smelled nothing so tantalising. Some lively rhythmic sounds poured out of a doorway, blending with different ones from another one. 

Billy's eyes darted around, still struggling to take it all in. He had seen depictions of the towering structures in the leafy thing, and the metal machines barreling down the roads, but it was all so unfamiliar to him, too. There were no seashells or coral here, just hard rock and the same shiny metals and glass he’d seen in the sunken ship.

It was marvellous. Overwhelming. He had dreamed of this world for so long and everything in it filled all those dreams and more.

He spotted a young woman walking by herself down the sidewalk. Perfect. He would fill the pact at once and lure her with his siren song to shed the tears of true love for him right there on the spot. He opened his mouth, ready to let the magical notes flow. 

But only silence emerged. He strained, pushing with all his might, but not a single sound came. Panic rose in his chest. He grabbed at his throat, clawing desperately, willing his vocal cords to vibrate. Still nothing. 

A realisation dawned on him: Morgana had tricked him and stolen his voice.

Overcome with shock and despair, realising the cunning plan of the ancient witch, he felt dread creeping up his spine. How could he fulfil his part of the pact without his voice? All of a sudden, the seemingly simple task was out of his reach.

He collapsed against a lamppost, hands shaking. He had been foolish to trust her, naïve to think he could outwit the witch.

Now here he was, on land at last, but trapped, surrounded by wonders he could not communicate in. No voice meant no song. And no song meant no way to lure humans in.

He slammed his fist against the pole in frustration. The pain barely registered through his despair. 

The dazzling city that had so enthralled him now seemed to mock his predicament.

A street musician was strumming his guitar on the street corner. Billy let the melody wash over him, beautiful and bittersweet all at once. A couple strolled by, laughing and chatting animatedly. He gazed after them, a profound yearning rising within. How he envied their easy intimacy. A little girl holding her mother's hand, licking something white and melting in a cone and grinning from ear to ear. 

Such simple human pleasures, yet they cut him to the core. He was surrounded by life, by joy, by togetherness. And yet utterly excluded, the possibilities of him being able to join it all very slim.

The weight of this reality sank upon him. He was a mere visitor here, an outsider peering into a world that was not his own. Without his voice he had no way to fulfil his pact.

His fate was sealed. Morgana had won even before his journey had started, and he would have to return to the sea as her servant.

All he could do now was to try to find solace in the thought that at least he had a fortnight to wander the streets and soak himself in the wonders of the human world. 

And maybe, just maybe –a desperate and probably useless maybe–he could find a human who would fall in love with him in such a short time despite him being mute and shed the tears of true love he needed.

***

The street corner was bathed in the golden hour glow, pedestrians hurrying home as the day wound down. Steve strummed his guitar, fingers dancing across the strings, drawing out a melancholy melody. He played with his eyes closed, lost in the music. 

When he opened them to thank the bypasser, who tossed a few coins to his open guitar case on the ground, a flash of blond hair caught his attention and he glanced up.

A young man was leaning heavily against a lamppost, face etched with despair. Steve studied the stranger, taking in his striking, yet haggard, appearance. Steve could let it be, not pay attention and continue playing, but something about the man called out to him. 

Setting his guitar to its case and taking it with him, he approached the man with a gentle smile. Up close, the man's features were almost otherworldly. Long, blond hair fell on his shoulders and the bluest of blue eyes returned Steve's gaze, swimming with pain and fear.

“Hey,” Steve asked, “You okay?”

Tears falling on his face, the young man opened his mouth, but no words came out. 

Understanding dawned on Steve. "You can't speak?" he asked kindly. 

The man looked at him, frowning a little and cocking his head, as if he didn’t understand what Steve had said.

“You don’t speak English?”

The man still just looked at him, seemingly confused.

Steve placed his free hand on his chest. “I’m Steve. Are you new in town?”

A nod, a hesitant one.

Steve's smile broadened. “So you do understand some English?”

Another nod, more confident this time.

“Do you need help? I mean, are you alright?”

A slight shook of head.

Steve frowned and pondered for a moment. “You know, let me take you to a café and see if we find some way to communicate.” He held out his hand. “Come.”

The mute stranger eyed Steve for a long moment before accepting his hand. His grip was icy cold, but Steve didn't flinch.

Billy was stunned when he realised he could understand the man who had introduced himself as Steve. At least Morgana had given him that as a tool to somehow make sense of this new world. Maybe the situation wasn’t as bad as he’d imagined. Though Morgana had probably let him have all this, only because she knew that he’d be hers in the end. That made his stomach twist. No, she’d done it only to make his pain worse.

After a short walk, Steve steered them to a cosy café. The fresh aroma of roasted coffee enveloped them as they stepped in, and Steve ordered them each a coffee. 

They got their drinks and sat at a table by the large front window overlooking the street. 

Steve watched the quiet stranger examine the dark liquid with intent and took a sip. When he grimaced immediately at the bitter taste, Steve realised he’d just assumed the man drank coffee. “I’m so sorry! I probably should’ve ordered you a tea. I’ll get you one now,” he said and got up from the table to get one.

When he returned with a green tea, he sighed with relief when the stranger seemed to be happier with his new drink. Steve dug his jacket pockets and found a note and a pen. He handed them to stranger and asked, “Can you write your name here?” .

Billy examined the things Steve gave to him, not quite understanding what they were for. The sheet of something was similar as in the leafy thing, but it was empty. He took the stick in his hand and jumped a little on his seat when he pressed the nub on the other end and a sharp-looking edge popped out from the other one.

Seeing the man’s reaction, Steve reached out his hand and asked, “Can you write?” He took the pen and wrote his own name on the paper. "Like this?"

Billy had played with the sand on the shore when he’d sometimes gone there in the night time. He’d drawn shapes into it with his finger, but they’d always vanished with the tide. The only way he’d ever communicated was through speech and singing. He’d only seen similar tiny shapes Steve had made on the sheet in the thing that had been dissolved into the sea.

He dropped the stick on the table, frustrated, and looked away, crossing his arms. Of course he couldn’t communicate that way either.

“Hey,” Steve said softly. “It’s okay. We’ll figure something out.”

While Steve wondered in his mind how he could communicate with the stranger, he talked to the man about things that were familiar to him: music and art, both his and others. It seemed to calm the stranger, to hear about things that didn’t remind him of his current situation. The stranger listened intently, eyes flickering between Steve and the world outside. Steve noticed the freckles that dusted the man’s cheekbones and the impossibly long lashes that surrounded the ocean blue eyes. Steve found himself getting lost in them. And even though the man couldn’t respond in words, his shy smiles and nods encouraged Steve to continue. 

As Billy sipped the strangely nice and warm liquid Steve had called tea, Steve kept up a steady stream of chatter about things unknown to Billy. The music was something Billy understood, of course, but he wasn’t sure what art specifically referred to, though. He was hoping Steve would show him what it was.

After they had finished their drinks, Steve still hadn’t yet come up with a way to communicate with the stranger. He was getting frustrated when it suddenly dawned on him and he smiled. “Hey, even if you can’t speak or write, I think there’s one way we can communicate, at least I hope so.” He stood up and reached out his hand again. “Come.” 

Exhilaration sparked in the stranger's blue eyes and he flashed a gorgeous smile at Steve.

Steve led the mute young man through the chaotic streets, gesturing excitedly at the vibrant city around them. He had decided to take the man to see a street that was well known for its stunning art pieces and graffiti. 

When they arrived, Steve looked at the man and saw him looking at the art curiously. "Check out that mural. Aren’t the colours incredible?" Steve exclaimed, pointing to a sprawling artwork on the side of one building. 

The stranger's eyes widened as he took in the blend of paints depicting fantastical creatures and landscapes. Especially interested he seemed to be about any creatures that were depicted to be living under the sea. Steve grinned at his new friend's awe. "The art here is something else. Each piece tells a story." 

Steve looked as the stranger seemed to find something specific further back in the wall, deeper in the alley, and he followed him to see what he’d found. When the stranger stopped, he pointed at the wall with a wide smile on his face for the first time. Then he pointed at himself.

There was a massive painting of the sea on the wall. All kinds of fishes, sharks, shellfish - and in the middle of it a gorgeous, blonde mermaid with a golden and red tail.

It felt as if Steve’s eyebrows had reached his hairline when they rose in surprise.“It’s yours, right? You painted it?” he asked.

The stranger shook his head and pointed at the mermaid again, then at himself.

Steve looked at the mermaid, then back at the stranger. He couldn’t deny there was something very similar in the two, but they didn’t exactly look alike. Steve had heard of mermaids, of course, everyone had. It was just that when someone had met them, they'd never been left alive to confirm if the stories were true. In those stories, mermaids weren’t beautiful innocent creatures, they were evil and hunted humans for sport. They were on top of their food chain.

But the stranger’s strangely captivating beauty hadn’t gone unnoticed by Steve, and it was as if he was already bewitched even though he had just met the man. 

A mermaid walking on the ground, though, with two feet instead of a fish's tail, that was a bit over the top. Magic like that didn’t exist.

And yet, for some reason, Steve wanted to believe that it was possible.

Instead of wondering out loud, he asked, “You modelled for it?”

Billy had hoped that Steve would’ve understood that it was him in the picture on the wall. He looked at it again and wondered if the artist had seen him swimming somwhere. They’d had to have. He looked at the painting wistfully, wishing so badly he had his voice back. Wishing he wasn’t locked in like this. Wishing he could fulfil his part of the pact soon.

When the stranger didn't answer - of course he didn't, he was mute - Steve asked, “Uh…you know, I was wondering…Would you be interested in seeing my art? My studio is here close by.” He blushed and looked down at the ground. “Uh, I don’t mean anything like…umm…I honestly mean art. If you’re interested.”

***

Steve unlocked the door to his studio apartment and led Billy inside. The space was small but bursting with colour and creativity. Pictures created on strange rectangular sheets leaned against every wall, covered in vivid paintings and sketches.

Billy's eyes widened as he took in Steve's expansive collection of work.

Steve set down his guitar and rushed to clear one chair that was hiding under a pile of clothes. “Uh, I’m sorry. It’s a bit crammed and messy. I wasn’t expecting any guests. Make yourself at home,” he said with a grin. He went to the counter and set the water to boil to make them some tea. 

Billy wandered the room, marvelling at the variety of Steve's art. There were street scenes that weren’t clear when looked at close, blurry like water when the sand from the seabed rose to muck it, yet reminding something Billy had just seen outside. And when he looked at them further away, the scene became clearer. There were paintings of incredible dreamscapes that made little sense at all and all kinds of abstract figures swirling in motion. He could see that rich colours, movement and energy connected all the pieces.

Steve walked to Billy and handed him a mug of the hot liquid he’d had earlier. “I hope you like this. I had only white tea.” Steve nodded towards a bigger piece Billy had been staring at, shining in all the shades of blue, turquoise, and gold. “So, what do you think?”

Billy looked at Steve, and his smile widened. He pointed at all the paintings on the wall and then tapped his hand on his chest, then repeated the gesture, hoping Steve would understand that he was in awe of all the beauty surrounding him.

“You like them?” Steve asked. 

Billy nodded.

A faint blush rose on Steve’s cheeks and he went to explain enthusiastically what had inspired him to paint the bigger piece.

Billy looked at Steve as he told about why he’d chosen the colours and what he’d wanted to express with it. It was clear to Billy that Steve was enthusiastic about his art. It made something warm and fuzzy fill Billy’s chest, to see such passion towards something. He hid his own smile and warming cheeks behind the mug and took a sip of the sweet tea. It was a new sensation to drink something this warm and sweet at the same time. But it tasted good and felt even better when it travelled through his insides, leaving a warm feeling behind. Just like he noticed the feeling about Steve doing. Steve wasn’t something Billy wanted to eat. With him, he wanted…companionship.

Steve turned to look at the stranger and met a gaze that was almost…adoring? He felt his cheeks heating. “I actually have one piece I’m working on right now. Would you like to watch me working on it?” he asked.

When the stranger nodded enthusiastically, Steve set down his mug, took off his jacket, and set up an easel by the window and set a canvas that had already been painted on it. After squeezing out paints in a rainbow of hues on a plate, he began painting, glancing periodically at the stranger.

Billy sat on a paint-speckled stool, observing intently as Steve's brush flew across the canvas. With broad strokes and fine details, an image slowly emerged - an interpretation of the street with all the murals and the mermaid. Steve had captured the soul of this place through his unique lens.

As Steve added a figure with blonde hair to the painting, he noticed the stranger engrossed in the process unfolding before him, his eyes shining with fascination and admiration. Steve painted on, feeling inspired by having such a captive audience.

After a long, comfortable silence, Steve set down his brush. "Well, what do you think so far?" he asked with a shy smile. The blond man broke into a broad smile. His expression said it all - the piece thoroughly impressed him. Steve's heart swelled with pride and – surprisingly – with affection for the stranger. He let out a small laugh at the hypnotic effect his painting seemed to have. "Want to try it?" he asked, handing the man his brush.

Billy took the brush hesitantly and examined it while Steve changed into a blank canvas on the easel. He dipped the bristles in paint, following Steve’s actions he’d witnessed a moment earlier, and brought them to the canvas, but hesitated, unsure of how to begin, acutely aware of Steve's gaze on him. 

Sensing his apprehension, Steve moved behind Billy and gently took his hand, guiding it in long, sweeping strokes across the canvas. "Don't think too much," Steve murmured in his ear. "Let the colours and shapes come from within."

Steve's touch was electric, sending shivers down Billy's spine. Emboldened, Billy closed his eyes and let his hand glide freely with Steve gently, just holding his hand, letting Billy make the strokes. Steve let him choose the colours and hues of turquoise, emerald, and gold took form beneath Billy’s brush, blending and swirling with vitality. Slowly, an abstract seascape formed on the canvas.

When Billy finally felt brave enough, he glanced at Steve. Steve was staring at the picture before them with an intensity that made his heart race. 

Steve turned to look at Billy. "You're a natural," he said softly.

Billy flushed and ducked his head shyly, but breaking into a radiant smile. 

“You should sign it,” Steve urged, pointing his signature on the piece he just painted himself. “It’s your art.”

Billy dipped his finger in the paint and drew outlines of a fish in the corner of the painting.

“Sea is close to you, isn’t it?” Steve asked quietly.

Billy felt a pang of sorrow in his chest as he nodded a little.

“Can I call you…Atlantis? Since I don’t know what your real name is.”

Somehow, Billy knew what Atlantis was, an ancient, mythical, sunken city. And somehow he could feel a deep connection with it – he was a mythical creature of ancient origin and for now sunken and stuck somewhere he didn’t know how to return from the way he used to be. His smile faltered a little when he nodded.

Steve smiled and reached out his hand to Billy. “Nice to meet you, Atlantis.”

Earlier, it had felt good to hold Steve’s hand, so Billy took it. The physical connection with Steve made the weight on his chest lift a little. Maybe his last two weeks of freedom wouldn’t be so bad, at least.

Later, after Steve had cleaned the brushes and set their paintings to dry, he made them some soup – another new experience for Billy – and while they ate, Steve talked more about his aspirations, his inspirations and hopes. Billy listened to each word intently, admiring the passion Steve seemed to apply to everything in his life. A warm feeling blossomed in Billy's chest. Steve was someone who saw life itself as a work of art to be embraced with an open heart. Maybe, just maybe… Billy thought to himself. Maybe Steve could be the one.

At some point, Steve looked at his watch and then out the window into the darkness that had fallen. “Oh, wow, the time has really flown. Where are you staying? I can walk you home.”

Billy turned to look away, ashamed. He didn’t even have anywhere to go for the night, and it was a pure chance that he’d met Steve in the first place and fed him. Only now he realised he was truly in a bad situation.

Steve looked at Atlantis’ pained expression and bit his cheek for a moment. “You know…you could stay here. For the night. Until we find you a place to stay.”

Atlantis cocked his head, looking miserable.

“I mean it. You can sleep in the bed. I’ll clean the mess from the couch and sleep there. You’ll be safe.”

Billy felt gratitude fill his chest. Steve was already amazing, and he just seemed to get better. It felt both good and so, so painful at the same time. Billy placed both his hands over his heart, hoping to sign his gratitude with it.

Steve smiled. After a while he spoke, “While you’re going to stay here…” he started hesitantly, “there’s a place I want to show you.”

Billy looked at him curiously and nodded.

Steve led Billy to the corridor and up a narrow stairwell at the end of it. They emerged to a rooftop overlook surrounded by a cool night breeze. 

The city lights twinkled like stars as the view opened before them, and Billy paused, taking in the scene before him. The skyline glittering against the inky sky, the streets below pulsed with life.

Steve guided Atlantis to the edge, and they sat, shoulders touching, as the world unfolded beneath them. Atlantis' eyes were wide, reflecting the dazzling lights. His lips parted in silent wonder and Steve couldn't help but smile, knowing he was seeing this view for the first time.

Billy was enthralled by the magical scene that spread beyond the horizon. Suddenly, he felt safe, out of Morgana’s reach. Here she couldn’t touch him, Steve wouldn’t let him. He leaned into Steve a little, almost accidentally. And Steve didn’t pull away.

Soon Steve slid an arm around Billy, pulling him close. 

Atlantis snuggling close to Steve was more than Steve had ever dared to hope for when he'd first noticed those gorgeous but haunted eyes across the street. He looked at the Atlantis and saw his face being serene as he gazed out at the city. Steve rubbed Atlantis’ arm as he snuggled closer. Up here in their private world, in that moment, something stirred within Steve. Something he’d been looking for for a long time.

Up there, above the city, the rest of the world fell away. No words were needed, just the soothing rhythm of their breaths mingling together. 

***

For the first few days Steve had been looking for a place for Atlantis to stay but the man had no money, no identification, nothing. As if he had appeared from thin air. Steve didn't of course mind hosting Atlantis at his home, he was happy for the company and each day feeling a little bit something else towards Atlantis, too.

Billy was grateful for Steve's help, even if it didn’t exactly sit right. As the days flew by, he knew his time on land was soon coming to an end, and he wouldn’t be Steve’s burden for a long time. So, he tried to enjoy whatever Steve wanted to show him and he immersed himself in everything so that he’d have memories he could cherish, something Morgana could never take away from him.

They spend their time painting, walking around the city, Steve occasionally taking his guitar and playing to Billy at home, and in the street corner where they had met. 

There were small things in Steve that Billy found himself being caught. Steve’s smile that lit up his entire face when he was happy, the way his brows knitted together when he concentrated on painting or composing a new song. Or the way his gaze lingered on Billy whenever he thought Billy wouldn’t notice. Billy found his feelings towards Steve grow day by day, which at the same time was the best and the worst.

When Billy’s time on land was coming to a close, Steve told him he had a concert in a bar close by and asked if he would like to join him. Of course he would. He wanted to experience everything he could while he still had time.

***

The smoky air of the crowded bar pulsated with energy as Steve played and sang on the stage. He was playing a similar guitar he’d played earlier, but it was now such that it could be heard over the crowd, as was his voice that came through the black boxes hanging from the ceiling.

Billy sat alone at the end of the bar, transfixed. Steve's fingers flew across the guitar strings, weaving melodies that seemed to cast a spell over the audience. His voice was husky and rich, dripping with soulful emotion. Billy studied Steve's face, taking in his closed eyes and the way his body swayed, lost in the music. That was Steve's gift – to transport people with his sound. Billy had seen nothing like it. Under the stage lights, Steve seemed to glow. His talent radiated from him in shimmering waves. Billy was captivated, drawn like a moth to Steve's flame. 

As Steve launched into a new song, the audience seemed to recognize it and roared their approval. But Billy hardly noticed them. His focus stayed locked on Steve, whose presence dominated the dingy room. The outside world faded away. In this moment, all that existed for Billy was Steve and his music. Billy leaned forward, mesmerised. He had felt nothing like this before. There was something about Steve that called to him profoundly he didn't understand. In Steve's music and his art, Billy finally saw true human passion, raw and real. For the first time, he felt he was seeing past the surface into Steve's soul. 

When the song ended, the audience exploded into rapturous applause. Steve opened his eyes, grinning and raising his hand in thanks. All Billy could see was the light in Steve's eyes. 

The applause died down as Steve stepped off stage. Billy sat motionless, still lost in the performance's spell, as Steve walked towards him. 

Billy was jarred back to reality by a commotion near the entrance. The crowd parted to make way for a petite, beautiful young woman. He watched with curiosity as she sauntered up to the bar, the crowd's eyes following her every move. She had short brown, slightly curly hair and she wore a skintight dress that flaunted her shape. Her looks weren’t nothing special to Billy, though, but she carried herself with overconfidence, as if she owned the place that commanded attention.

The woman ordered a drink and turned, surveying the room through hooded eyes. Her gaze settled on Steve, who was now halfway through the crowd towards Billy, stopped by people here and there to chat to him shortly. A sly smile spread across her painted lips. Drink in hand, she slinked through the dispersing crowd toward Steve. 

Steve's back was turned as he spoke with a person in the crowd when she tapped him on the shoulder. Steve turned around and looked at her, surprised."Nancy?" he asked, incredulous. "I thought you moved to Los Angeles."

Nancy gave a throaty laugh. "Oh, I'm back now," she purred, pressing closer to Steve. "Did you miss me?"

Steve took a step back. "It's been a long time, Nancy," he said carefully. "I wasn't expecting to see you." 

Nancy trailed a manicured nail down Steve's chest. "Well, I'm here now," she said suggestively. "We have a lot of catching up to do."

Steve removed her hand. "Uh, I'm not sure that's a good idea." He glanced around, trying to find Atlantis’ gaze.

Billy watched the exchange intently. He didn't know who the woman was, but he could sense the encounter being uncomfortable for Steve. A protective instinct flared within him. Steve deserved better than this woman's advances. Billy continued watching from the shadows as the woman persisted in her pursuit of Steve. Though he couldn't hear their words over the din of the crowded bar, her body language was unmistakable. She stood too close, frequently touching his arm or chest, leaning in to whisper in his ear. Steve seemed to maintain a polite facade, but something was clearly between the two, something Billy couldn’t quite place.

Billy felt an unexpected pang in his chest. He didn't understand where these feelings were coming from. After all, he barely knew Steve. And yet...witnessing this intimate interaction with the woman stirred something in him. Was it jealousy? Longing? A hollow sense of loss at something he never had?

Before Billy could examine the emotions further, the woman made her boldest move yet. With a coy smile, she grabbed Steve's face in both hands and pulled him into a passionate kiss. Steve's eyes went wide, his body rigid at first, then closing his eyes and relaxing into something that made Billy’s breath caught in his throat. 

The chatter and music of the bar faded away, narrowing Billy’s focus to the couple locked in their embrace. He thought of his own longing to experience Steve's lips, to be the recipient of such unrestrained passion. The ache of envy and despair constricted his heart.

But stronger than anything was the sadness of a dream deferred. Billy had allowed himself to hope, however briefly, that a true connection with Steve was possible. 

That hope now lay shattered at his feet, the pieces cutting deep into his soul.

Billy thought of the bargain he had made with Morgana - to collect the tears of true love or remain her prisoner. He felt Steve slipping through his fingers and he realised the impossibility of that task. He had been foolish to think someone like Steve could ever fall in love with him. Steve was an artist, a free spirit who followed his passions. And Billy? He was merely a siren, cursed to lure people with his voice and beauty alone. Without his voice he had nothing to offer.

With a heavy heart, he got up and walked towards the exit, his steps heavy with sorrow. He’d hoped the night air would clear his mind, but when he reached the street outside, his emotions only swirled within him – regret, anger and grief. If he returned to the sea now, he would spend the rest of his life as Morgana's captive, never again to experience freedom. But what choice did he have? Steve clearly didn’t love him.

There was no way he could complete his impossible task. And remaining here for the last few days would just remind him constantly of what he could never have – it might just break him completely. 

With a pained exhale, Billy turned his feet toward the shore. It was better to end this charade now. 

Steve had momentarily fallen to the familiar feeling of Nancy’s lips on his. It had first felt like a memory came back alive, then reminded him of the venom she carried in her embrace. He finally pulled away from the kiss, his expression morphing into one of shock and disbelief. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of Atlantis’ hunched figure retreating outside the front door. Steve's heart dropped as he realised Atlantis had witnessed Nancy's sudden advance. “Atlantis, wait!" he called out, pushing Nancy aside. He had to explain, had to make sure Atlantis understood this wasn't what it looked like.

Nancy grasped his arm. "Steve," she said, "we need to talk about this."

Steve tried to shake her off, eyes fixed on the door where he’d last seen Atlantis. "There's nothing to talk about," he insisted. How could she have done this, jeopardising the one real connection he'd made since he they broke up?

Nancy persisted, her perfectly manicured nails digging into Steve's skin. "You belong with me, don't you see that?" she hissed.

Steve wrenched his arm away, temper rising. "All I see is you ruining the best thing that's happened to me in a long time," he bit back. 

Nancy recoiled as if struck. 

Steve didn't wait for her response. He pushed through the crowd, desperate to catch Atlantis before it was too late. He burst out of the bar doors, frantically scanning the dark street. "Atlantis!" he called out, his voice raw with desperation. He caught a glimpse of blond hair in the distance, a slender figure moving with purpose towards the shore. "Atlantis, wait!"

Steve broke into a run, his boots slapping against the pavement as he gave chase. He had to reach Atlantis. He had to explain somehow before it was too late. Nancy’s kiss had meant nothing. It was just a cruel trick played by his manipulative ex. He had to make this right somehow. He couldn't lose the one person who he was in love with.

***

Billy ran down the darkened street towards the shore, tears falling from his eyes and the night air cold against his damp cheeks. How could he have been so foolish, thinking someone like Steve could ever care for a creature like him? He was an aberration, an outsider – he would never truly belong in this world. 

The sound of waves crashing against the shore grew louder, and Billy pictured the vast ocean before him, the depths that were familiar to him unlike where he was now. He thought of Morgana's cunning smile as she had offered her bargain, the one that now felt like a trap snapping shut around him.

He had hoped this adventure on land would bring him purpose, something new and exciting, maybe become his life. But in the end, apparently all roads for him lead back to the sea. Just not exactly to the place he could call home. Instead, a cold, lightless place was waiting for him. There he would waste away in chains, with nothing but his shattered dreams of freedom to sustain him. 

The shoreline was just ahead now. Billy slowed, gazing out at the black water. He could now shed this false skin, reclaim his true siren form. Accept his fate and enter the gilded cage beneath the waves. 

Steve tried to run faster when he saw Atlantis vanish into the darkness of the shore. His lungs were burning, but he didn't slow. He couldn't lose Atlantis, not like this. "Please, stop!" he cried breathlessly. He was closing the distance, the hunched figure of Atlantis becoming clearer ahead of him. Steve poured every ounce of energy into his legs, desperate to catch up before Atlantis did something drastic.

He had to reach him and to tell him the truth: that he cared for him in a way he'd never cared for anyone before. That these last few days with him had awoken something in Steve's soul, a feeling so powerful it terrified him. "Atlantis, stop! You need to hear what I have to say!" Steve begged as he ran on.

The waves crashed gently against the sandy shore as Billy sat at the water's edge, his feet in the water. He looked at how his feet melted together, his legs following shortly, and a brilliant red and golden tail emerged before his eyes, each scale shimmering in the pale moonlight. 

He stared out at the horizon, his expression distant. This would be the last time he gazed upon the human world before returning to his underwater realm forever, bound eternally as Morgana's servant.

He could already feel her pull on his tail. Her tentacles may not yet be there for real, but him knowing he’d be wrapped into their eternal embrace made him feel them in his bones.

His hope for finding something else, something new and exciting, had come to the end his father had always told him. Nothing good could ever happen to him, so he might as well get it over with. He turned and pulled himself into the sea, enveloped into the cool sea water, ready to dive, when he heard someone shouting.

"Atlantis!" 

Footsteps thudded in the sand as Steve was running towards Billy along the beach, dark hair blowing in the breeze. Billy's heart clenched at the sight. Why couldn’t Steve just let him go? Yet, he remained in the shallows, waiting for a miracle to happen.

"Atlantis!" Steve cried as he stumbled to a halt, chest heaving. "I had to find you, to tell you..."

Billy regarded him solemnly, taking in Steve’s dishevelled appearance. 

Steve walked into the water to Billy and wrapped his arms around him, starting to pull him back to the shore. But Billy broke the embrace easily with one kick of his strong tail. 

Steve looked at Atlantis, surprised, and then at the water. It was dark, so he couldn’t see anything, but he could’ve sworn that a big fish had just passed him by. Then he slowly looked up and back at Atlantis, when a realisation hit him. The blond hair, striking beauty, inability to speak, no identification… “You’re a…merman, aren’t you?”

Billy turned his gaze away from Steve, ashamed. Then, after a moment, he raised the end of his tail out of the water.

Steve looked at Atlantis, his mouth agape. Emotions inside him were churning. He was in love with…a magical being. It couldn’t be right. How could he ever have anything with a being that was from a whole another realm? His heart was tearing into pieces when Atlantis swam back to him, taking his hand.

Billy pressed Steve’s hand on his chest, over his heart. Then he placed his other hand on Steve’s heart.

Steve let out a suffocated sob. “But how? How did you… You have a tail, not legs…”

Tears were prickling under Billy’s eyes. He wanted to tell Steve everything, but he was still bound by Morgana's spell, so he couldn't.

A smile spread across Steve’s face. “I know it’s impossible. Incredible.” He shook his head. “Unbelievable. And yet…” He cupped Billy’s chin in his hand, the touch urgent yet tender.

Steve leaned in, eyelashes fluttering shut as his lips met Billy’s in a kiss that spoke all the words Billy could not say - and the world fell away; there were only the two of them suspended in this perfect moment.

Steve's lips were warm and soft against Billy’s, igniting a spark of electricity that travelled through his entire body. At first, Billy froze for a moment, stunned by the sudden passionate display. But as Steve's hand slid to the back of his neck, pulling him deeper into the kiss, Billy felt himself melting into the embrace. His eyes drifted shut, and he kissed Steve back, all his loneliness, doubt, and fear seeming to wash away.

When they finally broke apart for air, Steve rested his forehead against Billy’s, both gasping softly.

Suddenly, every part of Billy started screaming. He felt Morgana’s pull for real, her tentacles grasping his tail tightly and yanking him away from Steve.

“You’re not getting away from me!” her voice bellowed all the way from the depths and penetrating the surface. “You’re mine!”

Billy couldn’t tell what he needed from Steve, and he felt his stomach drop. He had been so close, but of course this would be how it ended.

“No!” Steve yelped and dove after Atlantis, reaching him and wrapping his arms tightly around him. “I’m not letting you go!” he said, “You can’t go.” 

The tears that had been brimming on Billy’s eyes fell as he could feel the pull from the depths becoming harder to fight back. He shook his head, trying to get Steve to let go.

It was then, when a big, fat tear fell on Steve’s cheek, soon joined by another, and another. The tears travelled from his cheeks down to his neck and into the sea. But one, two, three of them fell onto Billy’s hand that Steve was holding, the tears glimmering in the moonlight like liquid crystal. 

“You can’t go, because I love you,” Steve whispered.

Billy watched in awe as Steve’s tears ran down on his skin. He could feel their purity, the selfless love from which they sprang, as they trickled down on his arm and into the sea.

As the droplets diffused into the seawater, Billy felt a shiver run through his body. Like chains crumbling away, Morgana’s hold over him weakened. He drew in a sharp breath as energy surged within him. The tears had broken the spell – he was free.

Deep beneath the waves, Morgana sensed the shift in power. A guttural scream tore from her throat as she realised the siren had succeeded. He’d gotten the tears of true love needed to break their pact. Her fury boiled up from the lightless depths. How could've this happened? Centuries of bargains and not once had she failed to collect. Her scream turned into an ominous rumble that echoed through the sea. The water roiled with her anger as she unleashed a fearsome roar. It reverberated through the currents until even Billy and Steve could hear its menacing tone from the surface.

Steve swam them both to the shore. He wasn’t quite sure how to proceed with this madness, but he would do his all to try.

Billy sat in the shallow water, staring at his tail. It was still there. Then he felt a tingling warmth spread through his body, and he closed his eyes. He could feel the magic unfurling inside him, released at last by the fulfilment of his pact with Morgana. 

The energy built until his whole being seemed to vibrate with power. Then, like a wave crashing over him, the transformation began, shining bright light all around.

His sleek fiery tail started to divide. The scales receded, revealing smooth, tanned skin underneath. Fins softened into feet and toes, his gils sealing the parted skin on his torso. The changes rippled upwards as the magic worked its way over his body, returning him into the form, with clothes and all he’d spent the last few weeks.

Steve watched in awe as Atlantis' siren form reshaped into human's before his eyes. It was strange yet beautiful to witness. Within moments, the man he loved fully emerged from the receding tide. Atlantis rose unsteadily, testing his newly restored legs, and Steve rushed to stand up and to support him in his first steps out of the sea. “You’re…you again,” he said softly, still in wonderment. 

Billy turned and embraced Steve, nodding into his shoulder. He was overcome with emotion. After a long moment, they parted. Billy lifted a hand to gently touch Steve's cheek and looked at him in the eyes that were full of tenderness and promise. Billy opened his mouth, hesitant. This was the moment he had been waiting for - to have his voice returned.

He tried to form words, but only a soft croak emerged. Clearing his throat, he tried again. "Steve," he said, the name rough and low in his unfamiliar vocal chords. His eyes widened at the sound of his own voice. It was nothing like the hypnotic, melodic tones he'd possessed as a siren. This was deeper, grittier, thoroughly human. He swallowed and tried again, gaining confidence. "Steve… How have I longed for this moment."

Steve's eyes misted over with emotion. "Your voice," he breathed. "It's beautiful."

Joy surged through Billy. He threw his arms around Steve, embracing him fiercely. "I am finally free, whole, here with you." Drawing back, he cupped Steve's face in his hands. "I love you," he declared fervently. "I will spend every day proving it, if you let me."

Steve smiled through his tears. "There's nothing I want more," he replied, covering Billy's hands with his own. 

Billy smiled shyly. “My name is not Atlantis. It’s…Beacher. But you can call me Billy.”

“Billy…” Steve tried on the name. “It’s a lovely name. I’ll treasure it for the rest of my life.” 

Steve took Billy’s hand, and they started to walk towards the city. They were halfway down when Billy stopped. He glanced back at the dark ocean shimmering in the moonlight. For a moment, he was flooded with bittersweet nostalgia. He would miss diving beneath the surf, his powerful tail propelling him effortlessly through the currents. He would miss the songs of his fellow sirens echoing hauntingly across the water.

But the human world was now where he belonged. A new life in front of him, full of love and possibilities he had never even imagined. With Steve by his side, he was ready to embrace that future. "Goodbye," he whispered, his voice carried away by the ocean breeze.

Hand in hand, they walked over the sand and onto the pavement, over the busy street and to the other side. The broadwalk was bustling with activity, people spilling onto patios and crowded sidewalks, the air ringing with laughter and lively conversations. They joined in and their laughter echoed through the streets as they disappeared into the heart of the city.

The End.

#billy hargrove #steve harrington #harringrove #merpeople #merman Billy Hargrove #harringrove fic #harringrove fan fiction #light angst #first meeting #feelings realisation #mermen #fairy tale #fairy tale au #mermaid au #mermen au

[cupidford]

Waiting on You by stopthat

It hits him on a Monday, shuddering through his chest like a thunderclap. He wants Sherlock.

Missing Johnlock Love Letters #2285

#jl3 #johnlockloveletters #johnlock #love letters #Waiting on You #stopthat #<5k #POV John #POV John Watson #feelings realisation #idiots in love #s1 fix it #domesticity #domestic fluff #tea #first kiss #friends to lovers

[athousandbyeol]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Midnight Series: Moonlight Chicken พระจันทร์มันไก่ | Moonlight Chicken (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Li Ming/Heart (Moonlight Chicken TV) Characters: Heart (Moonlight Chicken TV), Li Ming (Moonlight Chicken TV) Additional Tags: Fluff, Tenderness, Introspection, Cutesy, Feelings Realization, Sweet, Acceptance, Falling In Love Series: Part 2 of for heartliming Summary:

"what do you miss most?"

the whoosh and swoosh of the waves. the chirp chirp chirp of the birds. the vroom! and zoom! of the cars. the pon! pon! pon! of the lorries. the clank! clank! clank! of the metal spatula against rusty, old woks. the heuy! and oi! of food hawkers and ha! ha! ha! from the customers. the thump thump thump of someone's heartbeat. your voice—

li ming's voice. what does he sound like?

#moonlight chicken #moonlight chicken series #moonlight chicken the series #mlc #moonlight chicken fanfic #heartliming #limingheart #heart x li ming #li ming x heart #gemini norawit #fourth nattawat #geminifourth #ao3 fanfic #fanfic #cutesy #falling in love #fluff #feelings realisation #sweet #na writes #for heartliming

[altered60]

Snared...

By Altered60

Explicit

When the Dagger Squad persuade Maverick to join them at a nightclub to watch a punk band, he had no idea how much his life was about to change.

He thought he knew everything about everything. He was wrong.

He thought he knew what he wanted. He was so far off the mark.

The one thing Maverick was certain of - Bradley Bradshaw was put on earth to test his resolve.

#roosmav #bradley bradshaw x pete mitchell #rooster x maverick #my writing #mutual pining #feelings realisation #idiots in love #First times #another week - another fic #Bradley can drum #maverick has a competency kink

[whitecrossgirl]

7. Antheia - goddess of flowers and flowery wreaths

Jack has a surprise. Emily has a flower crown and suddenly, Hotch discovers that he may or may not actually have emotions. Just another day in the BAU

#criminal minds #hotchniss #fic #fluff #aaron hotchner #emily prentiss #jack hotchner #feelings realisation #kerri writes #idiots in love

[thotforcsy]

love, friendship and other complications

(♡) fandom: skz (♡) pairing: jisung/changbin (♡) rating: teen+ (♡) 18363 words (♡) complete (1/1)

Jisung has never had a date for Valentine's Day. Never. Never. Naturally, as his best friend and number #1 bro, Changbin steps up to the plate and volunteers as tribute.

Yeah, this is definitely going to be one for the books.

link

#binsung #c: seo changbin #c: han jisung #stray kids #skz #skz fic #s: binsung #pseud: flying_dream #ao3 link #best friends to lovers #fake dating #practice kissing #valentines day #fluff #internal angst #feelings realisation #uni au #idiots to lovers #otp: you know how to make people love you #jasmine's skz fics

[batfamfucker]

What About The Kens?

I'm already seeing guys complain about the Barbie movie end, how they wanted Kens to be equal in Barbieland but were only given a small part on the Cabinet.

That's the point.

You're meant to feel bad for the Kens. Believe me, women aren't partying over the 'Returns to Matriarch' ending. Some will be, but the ones who also clocked the meaning behind it won't. Most women will also feel bad for Kens. Because it's an exact parallel to how women are treated in reality.

Men, you're meant to be upset. You're meant to question it. Because you're meant to feel it, and feel what that is like, so you can finally understand women. You're upset at seeing it in a movie, now imagine living it in reality. That's being a woman.

Kens were shit on so you could feel what it was like for women this entire time. Kens were being used as a placement so you could see yourself in a woman's shoes. A world dominated by the opposite sex. When Ken leaves, and sees male presidents (All men) for the first time, men being doctors and lawyers, etc, realising he is more than just a prop for Barbie, that was on purpose. Because that is the feeling that Barbie gave to women. It's why you cheer for him at first before he goes a little overboard.

It's exactly why the real world was an exaggerated Partriarchy and Barbieland an exaggerated Matriarchy. Neither wins. Neither is equal. None of them change for the better. It's why you should want women in the real world to be respected, and Kens in Barbieland to be respected.

The thing is, women also didn't win. Not in the real world. In Barbieland, yes, but not anywhere else. The real world didn't change. But you didn't notice, did you? That Gloria (The mother that helped Barbie) also didn't get a position on the Mattel board? It was still all men? Her idea was ignored until it made a profit, and the men will likely get the credit? She'll still just be the receptionist? The women representing the real world didn't get anymore opportunities, neither did the men in Barbieland.

I was hoping that Gloria would be offered a position on the board, and that the Barbie Cabinet would introduce another entire Cabinet to represent the Kens, but neither happened. They're complete mirrors.

But which one did you actually notice? Which did you actually care about? Now tell me again the ending was unfair. Because it was. For both parties. That's the point.

The difference is, Barbieland is fictional. You will walk out of the theatre with the reassurance that at least it's not real. Women won't. Women can't. Companies not giving women equal opportunities or voices isn't fictional, and that was just one example. There are no women presidents (USA at least) for us to go look at in the real world. We don't have somewhere to go to realise it could be different for us like Ken did. Barbie and make believe is all we had when we were kids, or even now.

You're supposed to be mad, just not at the movie.

#It's going right over people's heads #I've seen men complaining about the inequality. That's the point. Now you know how it feels. Apply that same frustration #And turn it into empathy for women in reality. Because it's not nice is it? #Please for the love of God people need lessons in analysis and critical thinking #It's not a 'women just hate men and this is a women only movie' #It's please realise that you've seen what it's like to be in women's shoes. Now be the change for women that you wanted for Kens. #Barbie #Barbie Spoilers

[cat-sithe]

the brothers ever :)

idk if this relatable to anyone else, but i don’t really talk about my special interests to anyone irl. like the thought of anyone finding out, especially close friends and family, that i like rise as much as i do makes me want to die a little bit on the inside. of course it wouldn’t be a big deal but still… does anyone know what i’m talking about or am i just being silly…?

i haven’t watched Bluey so idk much about it other than it has dogs so i just made leo like it for the same reasons i like rise (family shenanigans)

also messy comic ik but it is what it is

part two

#i also just realised how many times i used the word cringe #pretend the last 'cringe' is 'cheesy' instead i'm too lazy to fix it #you aren't cringe for linking these things #i just wanted to express how i feel about liking cartoons sometimes #not pictured: leo seeing sonic and shadow and saying “these bitches gay” #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #save rise of the tmnt #unpause rise of the tmnt #rottmnt #save rottmnt #unpause rottmnt #tmnt #tmnt fanart #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt donatello #rottmnt leo #rottmnt leonardo #rottmnt disaster twins #disaster twins #rottmnt comic #cat sithe

[camembri]

you wanted zoro to be on whole cake island to fulfil your weird desire to see zoro punish sanji. I wanted zoro on whole cake island because I think he's stupid enough to right place wrong time the plan and accidentally marry Sanji in full view of the whole wedding party in what becomes the most elaborately constructed comedy of errors ever written. we are NOT the same.

#need a fic where zoro genuinely does marry sanji on wci without planning it #type of thing to happen to goofy pre ts zoro #zoro in the same mindset in which he created the usopp sword: well i didn't mean to but i guess this solves the immediate problem #and ofc he just rolls with it #they look at each other after the dust settles like. hey wtf was that. and immediately blame each other #pre relationship AND feelings realisation on both sides #dont get me wrong i love fake relationship that becomes real but hear me out #legal accidental relationship thats extremely convenient and also funny until you pavlov yourself into being in love #vinsmoke sanji #black leg sanji #roronoa zoro #zosan #one piece #sanzo #zoro

[bloody-bee-tea]

Surprise

Suguru can’t tear his eyes away from the two little girls inside the cage. There is rage welling up inside of him, so potent that it feels ice cold and the words of the non-sorcerers behind him all turn into one cacophony.

He cannot take his eyes away from the girls.

Even ignoring the fact that they are locked up like some animals, they are clearly terrified and they show signs up physical abuse.

Suguru is ready to raze this entire house down, when the girls flinch at the increasingly loud shouting of what he supposes were supposed to be their guardians.

“It’s going to be alright,” he says to the girls, not even caring about what the people behind him say.

Suguru is not sure what he’s going to do, but he knows that it’s not going to be pretty. Especially not when he turns around and the non-sorcerers keep screaming right in his face, as if the girls aren’t even there, as if they can’t understand them.

As if they are nothing more than the animals the cage they are held in implies.

“Everyone, shall we step outside for a moment?” he asks, a perfectly polite smile on his face and it shuts the non-sorcerers up mid-sentence before they turn around and leave the room, clearly happy to be out of the presence of what they perceive as demons.

Suguru is about to follow them—a curse already licking up his throat, ready to tear them limb from limb like they deserve—when a flash of blue goes through his mind and it’s like a bucked of cold water right to the face.

Satoru.

If he does this, if he kills them, no matter if it’s deserved or not, then he can never go back to Satoru. The school will expel him, the higher ups will put out a kill order on him and he can never see Satoru again.

The thought makes him freeze in his steps.

It’s unfathomable to Suguru, a life without Satoru—despite the fact that they’ve barely known each other for three years—and just like that, all the rage leaves him.

Only the tiredness stays.

Suguru turns back around to the girls, letting the non-sorcerers walk away for now.

“Hey there,” he says as he crouches down, and tries to give them his best smile, the one that Shoko always says could calm even a crying baby.

The girls still stare at him with suspicion, which is fair, he supposes.

“I’m going to break open this cage and then I’m going to take you with me, alright?” Suguru asks and he’s not even sure what he’s going to do.

He will take these two with him, that much is clear, there’s no way he’s going to leave them here, but after that? He doesn’t have a single clue, but he thinks he’ll figure it out.

Satoru will help him figure it out.

“Are you going to kill us?” the blond girl asks and Suguru’s hands shake.

She seems entirely serious, as if a ‘Yes’ wouldn’t even surprise her and so he’s quick to shake his head at her.

“No. I can see what you see, too, you know. There are people who will help you,” Suguru goes on as he makes short work of the lock, but even now the words taste like ash on his tongue.

He doesn’t know if Yaga and the higher-ups will help or if they will make it all worse. It’s very possible he’s leading these girls to their death, no matter how belated it will be, but he can’t think of anything else to do.

At least nothing that will allow him to return to Satoru’s side.

“You’re going to meet a friend of mine,” he explains as he holds out his hands for the girls to come to him. “Two actually. One of them will heal you right back up, you’ll see.”

“And the other?” the brown haired girl asks and Suguru smiles at her.

“The other always carries some candies around with him, so make sure to give him your best pleading eyes and he’ll fold like a stack of cards,” he tells them, makes it so it seems like a great, big secret and it works when the girls giggle slightly.

Suguru almost wants to cry at hearing it; they’ve clearly been beaten, been hated for longer than he cares to think about by people who were supposed to take care of them, and yet—they still manage to find something funny in the world.

“Will you come with me?” he asks, and he only picks them up when they both nod.

When he walks outside the house, the screaming instantly starts again, but he tunes it out, praying the girls are doing the same.

“Don’t listen to them, just focus on me,” he mutters. “What do you want to ride on? A manta ray or maybe in the mouth of a pelican?”

“Bah, gross,” one of the girls—Nanako, he learns in a hushed whisper from her sister, Mimiko—blurts out and Suguru laughs.

He guesses he has his answer then, and he doesn’t spare the non-sorcerers another glance as he summons his manta ray, to take these girls out of there.

Now he’ll only have to figure out what to say to Satoru.

~*~*~

Suguru gets the girls into the school without problem. He guesses the real problems will start when he has to tell people about them, when he has to explain himself and possibly hand them off to someone else, but first of all he needs to talk to Satoru.

He doesn’t even know why, isn’t even sure what he wants Satoru to say to him, doesn’t know what kind of help he expects but the need to see Satoru, to talk to him right now, is drowning out every other thought.

Suguru doesn’t bother to knock at Satoru’s door—it’s not as if he ever gives him that curtesy anyway, so why should Suguru be any different—but Satoru’s room is dark and empty.

Suguru’s stomach sinks.

“Is this your room?” Mimiko asks and Suguru puts a careful hand to her head, not wanting to aggravate any possible injuries further.

“No. I wanted you to meet my friend, remember?” he asks as he leads them towards his own room.

Satoru is possibly still out on a mission—like he always is these days—and it might be a while until he can see him and tell him about the girls.

That’s fine, he thinks to himself, even though it doesn’t feel even close to fine.

Suguru tenses briefly when they get closer to his room and he can see light on inside of it but it only lasts for split second before relief washes through him, so acute it almost makes him stumble.

Satoru is waiting for him already.

“It seems my friend is waiting for us,” Suguru tells the girls even though Satoru has no way of knowing just who is going to come through that door soon.

It doesn’t stop Suguru from entering his own room in a rush but he freezes on the spot when he is met with three pair of eyes instead of just the one he was expecting.

“Surprise!” Satoru yells out, throwing his hands out and pointing at the kids behind him.

Suguru can do nothing but blink in complete surprise but when he takes in the appearance of the boy behind Satoru, everything in him tenses.

He looks like Toji. He looks like the guy who killed Riko and Satoru and Suguru fights the urge to throw a curse at him. Satoru seems to realise that because he quickly steps forward, not quite shielding the boy but successfully dragging Suguru’s attention back to him.

“I see I’m not the only one, though,” Satoru finally says, looking at the girls behind Suguru and all Suguru can do is give back a weak: “Surprise.”

It makes Satoru laugh, bright and loud, and Suguru hadn’t realised just how much he had missed him these past few weeks.

“Great minds think alike,” Satoru says as he comes closer, crouching down in front of the girls and giving them a bright grin.

It’s almost comical, how Satoru tries to make his lanky limbs do what he wants and Mimiko seems to think the same, because she hides a giggle in Satoru’s leg.

“And who might you be?” Satoru asks, his eyes scanning the girls carefully and Suguru knows that Satoru notices every scrape, every injury on them.

“This is Nanako and this is Mimiko,” Suguru introduces them. “And who might yours be?” he then gives back, taking another look at the kids Satoru brought.

The girl seems older, but the boy can’t be much older than Nanako and Mimiko are, but he’s definitely more defiant already.

“Those are Tsumiki and Megumi,” Satoru introduces them and while the girl smiles shily at Suguru, the boy continues to glare. Clearly he has seen some shit already.

“And where did you pick them up?” Suguru asks, the uncanny resemblance to Toji still making him uncomfortable and he almost startles when Satoru shoots up from his crouched position.

“Let’s not do that here now. Nanako and Mimiko are injured and should probably see Shoko, right?” Satoru asks and waves at Tsumiki. “You remember the girl we just saw?” he then asks and Tsumiki nods. “Can you take these two there and then bring them back here?” he wants to know and before Tsumiki can even say something Megumi chimes in.

“You just want to talk without us listening,” he accuses him and Satoru has no shame, so he nods.

“Yes, the grown-ups need to talk for a moment. So why don’t you skip along with your sister and then meet us back here?”

“Grown-ups,” Megumi scoffs out, but he dutifully follows Tsumiki after she whispers something to him.

Tsumiki smiles just as warmly at the girls as she did at Megumi and they are inside the school. Nothing is going to happen to Nanako and Mimiko, Suguru tries to convince himself, though he’s only mildly successful.

“Hey, remember how I said one of my friends will heal you right back up? If you go with Tsumiki, she will take you to her and then you’ll be as good as new, okay?”

“We were also promised candy,” Nanako decidedly says, even as Mimiko tugs on her sleeve in an attempt to get her to shup up and Satoru snorts out a laugh.

“And who might carry candy around with them in the middle of the night?” he asks but he’s already digging through his pockets until he can give every kid currently in the room a candy.

Suguru takes one too, for good measure.

“Okay, now off you go. Let the grown-ups talk.” Satoru shoos them all out of the room before they can even thank him for the candy and Suguru has to fight the urge to accompany them.

Tsumiki seems old enough to care temporarily for these three, especially inside the heavily protected school and they are still close. And Shoko is safe, after all.

Besides. Should something happen, he and Satoru would know.

“So?” Suguru asks once the door closes behind the four and Satoru’s grin drops like a stone.

“He’s Toji’s kid,” Satoru says without preamble and Suguru’s hand spasms. “When I—killed Toji he told me Megumi was supposed to be sold to the Zen’in in three years.”

“You’re two years early,” is all Suguru can think to say for a moment and it startles a laugh out of Satoru.

“Well, yeah, I figured the sooner I pick him up the younger he’ll be. I thought it might be less hard for him like that.”

“And the sister?”

“Toji didn’t mention her and she isn’t a sorcerer as far as I can tell. Still, I could hardly separate them, now, could I?”

“Clearly not,” Suguru deadpans and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“What about yours then? I doubt the story is happy, judging by their injuries,” Satoru says and Suguru burns with anger again when he remembers how he found the girls.

“The village I was sent to thought they were the cause of the incidents happening there. They kept them in a cage.”

Hearing that, Satoru lets out a long whistle.

“That’s fucked up.”

The only thing really fucked up is what Suguru was about to do to these people but he swallows those words down. Satoru doesn’t need to know that.

“What are we going to do now?” Suguru asks because he already didn’t have a plan for two kids. Now there are four to consider.

“We’re going to be dads, what else?” Satoru shrugs, as if it’s the most normal thing in the world and Suguru stares at him.

“Satoru, be serious for a moment.”

“I am. I am so serious. We’re going to raise these kids. This might not be the best place but it’s leagues better than the Zen’in clan or whatever hellhole you pulled yours out from. We’re going to stay here. We’re going to raise them, and then I’m going to be the most awesome teacher and you’re going to be the best headmaster this school has ever seen and we’ll change a few things here and there and then everyone will live happily.”

Suguru blinks at him.

“What?”

“Which part tripped you up?” Satoru wants to know, clearly enjoying this more than he should.

“Yes,” Suguru simply says because all of that is ridiculous and Satoru laughs again.

“Come on, Suguru, we’d make great parents. Yours already imprinted on you, I could see that and Megumi is such a little grumpy sea urchin, it will be great.”

“I—” Suguru doesn’t actually know what to say to that, so he focuses on something he does know. “I can’t be headmaster.”

“Why not?” Satoru tilts his head in question, his hair flopping around and Suguru aches with how much he has missed him.

It feels as if it’s just getting worse, despite the fact that Satoru is right there in front of him.

“I’d have to deal with the elders and higher-ups,” Suguru almost spits out. “And I can’t do that. I couldn’t.”

“Why not? If one of us can do it, it’s you.”

“No, you don’t understand, Satoru, I can’t.” Suguru is sure of that. He’s so disillusioned, so empty and tired and underneath all of that so incredibly angry—he’s going to lose it if he has to talk to them and with what almost happened today, that thought scares him.

“Why not?” Satoru asks again, insisting on an answer and Suguru bows his head.

“I almost lost it today,” he admits, the words nothing more than a whispered confession between them. “When I saw what they did to those girls, I—I almost killed them all,” he chokes out, that feeling of standing right at the edge, of almost doing something unforgivable still so very close.

“But you didn’t,” Satoru quietly says, stepping close to him, bending down until their heads are at the same level, despite the way Suguru still has his bowed down. “Why?”

“What?” Suguru breathes out because what does that even matter right now.

“Tell me why, Suguru. You didn’t do it, so something must have held you back. What was it?”

Suguru tries to bite the answer back, knows that once he admits to it, things will inevitably change between them but he can feel Satoru’s gaze on him, he feels his body heat with how close Satoru is standing and all of that makes Suguru weak.

“You,” he breathes out, slightly turning his head so it’s almost as if he whispers his answer right into Satoru’s ear. “It was you. I thought—if I did that I could never come back to you. It snapped me right out of it.”

The confession hangs between them, heavy and oppressive and Suguru knows that their entire friendship could crumble under it. The thought makes him want to throw up.

“When I died, my last thought was of you,” Satoru says, his voice just as quiet as Suguru’s was and even though Suguru knows it’s not true, that Satoru didn’t die, not really, he still flinches.

He doesn’t like to think about it too much, just how close he came to losing him that day.

“I don’t even know what I was thinking; if I was worried for you, or wanted to warn you, or simply wanted to see you. It was just Suguru, Suguru, Suguru in my mind, over and over again.”

Suguru shivers at that, shivers at the way Satoru’s voice curls around his name. He’s always been weak to that.

“I—” Satoru uncharacteristically breaks himself off, taking a deep breath before he goes on. “What I want to say is that it’s not just you,” he finally gets out and Suguru almost jumps when a careful touch reaches his hand.

It doesn’t even take him a second to realise what Satoru is trying to do, so he’s quick to intertwine their fingers. His heart is almost beating right out of his chest but he can detect just the faintest tremble in Satoru’s fingers, so he knows he’s really not alone in this. Suguru finally knows that his feelings are matched.

“Parents, huh?” Suguru whispers after a moment of shared silence and Satoru finally looks up at him again, his eyes crinkled with happiness.

“Parents,” he agrees easily, right before he leans in to brush a kiss over the corner of Suguru’s mouth. “We’re going to be the best dads.”

“We’re going to change all of this. For our kids.”

“Wanna bet that two of the elders drop dead from pure shock and too high blood-pressure? We won’t even have to do anything.”

Satoru is smiling, clearly imagining it in his mind and Suguru can’t help but to laugh out loud. He falls silent when he notices Satoru’s intense stare on him.

“What?” he asks, almost defensively and Satoru leans in, resting his head on Suguru’s shoulder, his breath warm against the sensitive skin of his throat.

“I have missed you,” Satoru whispers, another confession spoken just for them, and Suguru is quick to hug him close. “It felt as if you were drifting away from me.”

Suguru hides his smile in Satoru’s hair. It seems that his feelings were matched in this regard, as well.

“No more drifting,” he says. “We have kids to think of now.”

“I’m going to be Megumi’s favourite,” Satoru boldly declares and Suguru snorts.

Considering how fed up Megumi had already seemed with him, that’s unlikely.

“Maybe aim for something more achievable,” Suguru advises him and yelps when Satoru pokes him in the side.

It’s silly, and stupid, and they have a hundred things to worry over instead of playing around like this, but Suguru feels light in a way he hasn’t in a very long time, even with Satoru’s weight leaning against him like that.

Or maybe it’s because of that.

“We’re going to make it better for them,” Suguru whispers eventually as he noses at the crown of Satoru’s head. “You and me, together.”

“You and me,” Satoru repeats and squeezes his hand even as he presses himself closer. “And a gaggle of kids.”

It makes Suguru laugh again, which was clearly Satoru’s goal because he flutters a kiss over Suguru’s throat, as if rewarding him for it.

“It’s going to be great.”

It’s probably not going to be great at all but Suguru gets what Satoru means. It’s going to be great because it’s going to be them, together. And Suguru finds that he agrees with it.

It will be wonderful.

#bt writes #jjk #satosugu #stsg #hurt/comfort #hidden inventory arc #found family #adoption #feelings realisation #love confession #getting together

[riversofmars]

Songs Of Love - Day 17

Prompt: Love Letters

Rating: G

Summary: In the time that Liv and Helen spend apart, they realise just how much they miss each other. Trying to connect with each other and to feel a little bit less lonely, they start composing messaged for each other.

Until We Meet Again

“This is stupid, why do I even-” There was no answer to Liv’s complaint as the flat around her lay quiet. Tula was at work and Liv was alone with nothing to do. She was bored of the entertainment channels and it wasn’t like there was much else for her to do. She was largely dependent on Tula. She had no money of her own, no transport… Kaldor City wasn’t exactly the kind of place where you could get around on foot, not that she had anywhere to go either way. She had come to stay and build bridges with her sister but she hadn’t really considered what she would be doing the rest of the time when Tula was busy! Which was a lot.

So now, Liv was at a loss for what to do and inevitably her thoughts turned to the person she would usually spend her downtime with. A feeling of emptiness settled in her gut, of absence and of longing. Staying on Kaldor for a year had been a split-second decision, she hadn’t thought through what leaving the TARDIS - even just for a time - would entail. 

Dear Helen , 

she wrote on the blank paper in front of her, despite knowing how ridiculous it was. For her friends only moments would pass if everything went according to plan. They would simply skip a year ahead and pick her up and carry on and not feel the passage of time in between, not like Liv herself would. But there were things she wanted to say, every day she thought of things she wanted to tell Helen about, and there wouldn’t be the time. 

“Write them down,” had been Tula’s simple suggestion and Liv had scoffed into her breakfast. 

“What? Like letters?” She asked, mouth full of cereal, and her older sister grimaced at her lack of table manners.

“Well, you are on holiday away from your friends so… yeah, why not?” She chose to forgo the confrontation and carry on the conversation. “If you feel like there are things you want to tell them, do. It must be strange not having them around.”

“It’s not like I could send them to them. No time will pass for them at all,” the med-tech pointed out, balancing her spoon on her finger like a bored toddler. In many ways she felt like one these days.

“Well, they don’t have to read them. You can do it for yourself as a way of… I don’t know… feeling close to them…” Tula shrugged before finishing the last of her morning coffee. She would have to get going.

“That’s… surprisingly insightful. Who are you and what have you done to my sister?” Liv narrowed her eyes at her sister playfully.

“Haha,” the overtech gave back sarcastically. 

“Just seems like a waste of time,” Liv mumbled, feeling deflated. She really missed her friends a lot. They had become her family. 

“Is it a waste of time if it makes you feel better?” Tula countered, giving her a compassionate look. “Besides, you can always give them to them later. As a collection of works or something.”

“Hm,” her sister huffed, clearly unconvinced. 

“Don’t sulk, it was only a suggestion,” the overtech waved the issue off and grabbed her briefcase. “I need to go.”

“Have a good day,” Liv gave a wave with her spoon, still staring into her cereal thoughtfully, and Tula shook her head to herself but wished her a good day in return. Whether she would have one remained to be seen. And with that she left Liv alone with nothing but her thoughts. 

Now, a good hour later that she had spent mulling over how to pass the time, she was staring at the page, empty except for the greeting to her best friend and her mind was as blank as the page. She couldn’t even remember the last time she had written a physical letter so it wasn’t as if she had the practice. 

I miss you. 

“This is stupid,” she groaned once more. What else was there to say? And yet, she looked at the words and contemplated their value and the simple truth they spoke.

I miss you. I miss you more than I miss the Doctor and I don’t know why that is. 

It was a good question. It was something she had been noticing more and more. Of course she missed the Doctor, they were the best of friends and yet… she missed Helen in an entirely different way. In a way that made her feel empty, made her feel a longing she had never felt before. No, that wasn’t entirely true, she had felt it before, she realised. When Helen had disappeared into the Vortex with the Eleven after stopping the Doom Coalition. Liv had been lying awake every night until they found her again, worry eating her up, making her toss and turn and inevitably hurry the Doctor along. Helen would never know it had been her bed Liv had been restless in, trying to feel closer to her.

Now, however, there was no need for anxiety or worry. Helen was just fine and taking a shortcut while Liv went the long way around. Now her longing for her had nothing to do with worry for her safety, it was entirely selfish. She simply wanted her close.

I miss talking to you. 

Liv grimaced at how non-specific that was. 

I miss talking to you. I miss the sound of your voice and how passionate you are when you talk about the things you care about. 

That made more sense, she decided, and was undoubtedly true. Seeing the world through Helen’s eyes, sharing in her perception of things and learning her viewpoint had been one of the greatest joys of Liv’s life. She was experiencing the universe in an entirely different way now. Her outlook had been so gloomy. So many bad things had happened to her… but Helen had such unbridled enthusiasm, such curiosity for everything, such joy and kindness and she had brought all those things into her life. She felt their absence almost as keenly as that of the linguist. 

I miss the expression on your face when we go someplace new. I miss walking around the TARDIS with you and discovering more of her secrets. I miss laughing with you. I miss the cups of tea you make.

She scratched out the last part. It sounded stupid. It wasn’t like she would ever let Helen read it anyway. It was just for her. Tula was right, it did make her feel better, it made her feel closer to her… and perhaps it would help her finally put into words what she had started feeling for her best friend. Because if she could learn how to express them, then maybe she would be able to tell her the next time she saw her. 

Until then, she would keep writing, she decided, and keep naming all the things she missed about her. It would be a long list… but she had all year. And maybe, by the end of it, she would be able to figure out exactly the reasons why she had fallen so deeply in love with her. 

---

I miss holding your hand when we run from danger. I miss your laugh. I miss you poking fun at me when I make a mess of the kitchen. I miss the light you brought into my life. I miss sharing my life with you. 

Helen stopped reading and folded up the handwritten pages as she feared her tears would make the ink run. She hugged the sheets of paper to her chest and drew a deep breath, gathering herself and her thoughts. She couldn’t count the times she had read these words. She knew them by heart now. Liv’s scrawny handwriting had burned itself into her memory. She noticed and memorised all the small variations, the subtle changes… she could tell where she had stopped and where she had picked back up, she imagined how much time had passed between every line, what had happened on Kaldor on any given day to prompt her to write about the things she was missing. 

A sob broke from her throat, unbidden and pointless. There was no-one to hear it and take pity on her, except perhaps the TARDIS, but there was only so much the space and time ship could do. She gave a low hum and Helen took some comfort from her concern. She wasn’t entirely alone, the TARDIS had done her best to look after her but in the same way as Liv had had Tula, it wasn’t enough to stop her from missing the things she didn’t have. The person she longed to spend every moment of her life with,the one who had left a gaping wound with her absence. 

Helen placed the pages on the console and pulled up a chair as her back wasn’t what it used to be. Spending her life crouched over desks had left a mark. Her hands found the controls she needed instantly. She had carried out the same action so many times, it had become second nature. A screen flicked on to her right hand side and reflected her picture to show it was recording. The linguist frowned. She looked even more tired than last time. The lines on her face furrowed deeper. Her hair had been grey for a long time now but somehow it looked duller today, less… alive. Perhaps it had something to do with how pale she looked, she considered, or maybe all of it was just a symptom of an underlying, incurable condition: old age. They were signposts along the way, announcing she didn’t have far to go. Hopefully she could finish her quest before the end of her journey.

She took a deep breath, trying her best to ignore how quickly she became out of breath these days, and focused on the task at hand. Her eyes fell onto the pages on the console and she smiled, recalling the image of her best friend in her mind: a memory even forty years couldn’t take away from her. Liv Chenka, laughing, smiling and listening intently as the linguist started speaking. 

“I think this might be my last entry…” She gave a sad smile. “I miss you Liv. I know I tell you every time but I do, still, after forty years… I have spent more of my life missing you than anything else I’ve ever done… I wish I could say there are other things I will do with my life but I’m beginning to think that that won’t be possible… Because the likelihood is, Liv, by this point… I won’t have much of a life left when I get back to you and I’m… I’m ever so sorry about that.”

Most of her entries had been recounts of her days, of the places she had been and the things she had tried and how she would improve on them tomorrow. But there wasn’t much to be said about that now. She had a plan, one last attempt that she felt confident about, but suddenly, talking about her progress didn’t feel as important. There were other things she had to say as she considered the nature of the life she had had. 

“I-I wanted to share it with you. All of it. I hadn’t planned on growing old here, alone, still unable to get back to you. But I hope that… maybe through these messages, through… I don’t even know what this is, a diary? Maybe you can… I mean, I hope you will, one day, take the time to listen. I know there is a lot of it but a lot of time has passed.”

In many ways, these messages had been what kept her sane. Imagining talking to Liv had kept her going, had made her feel closer to her, as she imagined and hoped it had made Liv feel when she had put her thoughts to paper during her year on Kaldor. Helen smiled at the irony of it. It was so very unfair to think that two that longed to be together as much as they evidently did had been cursed with years apart. Age had given her understanding and perspective. She now understood what the feelings she had for her meant. She had been young and naive at the time, unable to figure them and herself out, but now that she feared it was all too late, she understood. 

“A lot has changed, I have changed… but some things haven’t, not one bit. Like your room here. I have left it just the way it was so I could go in and feel a little closer to you. The TARDIS hasn’t changed much at all actually, which is nice and familiar. She’s been a good friend to me… What hasn’t changed is my determination to find Nicholas and save you. I know I will do it, if it’s the last thing I do - which, let’s be honest, it might be.”

She gave a sad, almost bitter laugh and spared a moment to consider the cruelty of the universe but only until more important matters refocused her mind. As the TARDIS landed and she hoped she might have finally reached her destination, Helen declared the things she wished she had understood a lifetime ago: 

“And what hasn’t changed - and never will change - are my feelings for you. I don’t know if I will ever get the chance to say this or if you will ever hear this message but: I love you, Liv. I have loved you for such a long time. A lifetime. And I always will.” 

Liv’s vision blurred when the recording finished playing and froze on Helen’s aged and yet somehow radiant expression as she spoke of her love for her. The console room went silent and instantly the med-tech regretted her thoughts of leaving. Playing the recording must have been the TARDIS’s way of putting her back in her place and it had done just that. No matter how bad things were with the Eleven around, she couldn’t go through being without Helen again. And it seemed neither could her friend be without her. 

The med-tech was at a loss for words. She had often wondered how Helen had made it through the forty years of travelling alone, what had kept her sane through it, but this was not what she had expected to find. She wondered if Helen would ever have shown her these recordings of her own volition. She couldn’t blame her for keeping them to herself, she had done the same with her letters after returning from her year on Kaldor, but it seemed in both cases the TARDIS had intervened to deliver their messages when the other most needed them. 

After another argument with the Doctor and the Eleven who were currently finishing each other’s sentences in the engine room, Liv had marched into the console room. Impulsively she had intended to simply open the door and walk out but the TARDIS hadn’t let her. Instead she had reminded her that she never would forgive herself if she did. And now, the med-tech stood rooted to the spot in the eye of a storm of emotions that raged around her. Sorrow and regret as she considered the ordeal Helen had been through. Guilt that she had even considered inflicting such pain on them both again. And despite the heartbreak and the miserable situation they were in at present, there was joy and wonder too, as she realised Helen shared the feeling she harboured for her.

“Liv?” 

Helen’s tentative voice behind her startled her and she looked around. Liv wasn’t sure what had made her come here, just at the right time, but she could only presume the TARDIS had something to do with it. 

The linguist looked past her friend and found the image of herself on the screen, a sight she had grown accustomed to over forty years of practice, but she hadn’t expected to see it again. Not here, not now. 

“What- when did you record that?” Liv asked into the silence.

”I’ve been recording them most days through my journey just for something to do, on the off-chance I wouldn’t- that was probably the last entry,” Helen answered and surprised herself with how collected she was. It was no use. If Liv had watched the entry, she already knew. There was nothing to do now, nothing to say, just to wait and see how the chips fell. 

“Yes…” Liv gave a soft smile and a nod, then asked: “But what was that?”

“The same thing this is,” Helen offered and pulled Liv’s letters from her pocket. She always carried them with her. 

“Where did you-” The med-tech was surprised, she hadn’t even realised the letters were missing, she hadn’t so much as looked at them since returning from Kaldor, so she hadn’t had the opportunity to miss them. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to go searching. I was feeling lonely so I went into your room… I promise, I didn’t go through your things, I just… lay down on your bed and slept there… I found these under your pillow,” Helen felt the need to explain, she dropped her gaze and hoped she could forgive the invasion of her privacy. 

“It’s fine…” Liv answered softly and it really was. She wasn’t sure she would have had the words to say what she wanted to but if Helen had read them already, there was no need for words at all. “So what do you think they are?” She asked slowly as she considered the nature of their confessionals, their messages that had kept them both going. 

“Love letters,” Helen observed simply with the wisdom she had gained in forty years. She knew hers had been messages of love and she chose to consider Liv’s letters the same. She chose hope over doubt and was rewarded for it.

The med-tech smiled in response and took a step closer. 

“Would it be alright if I kissed you?” She requested softly as she saw no more need for words, they had spent them all on baring their hearts. It was finally time to act. 

“Please,” Helen nodded and met her halfway. Liv grasped her face and Helen her shoulders and years of heartache were erased in an instant. Their doubts had long since been washed away in their waterfalls of words, leaving nothing but the pure knowledge of what their feelings meant. There was nothing left to figure out, other than how their bodies best fit together as they met in the blissful conclusion of their painful journey. 

They kissed until they needed air, then rested their heads together with only their heartbeats in their ears. Nothing needed saying, except - Liv realised - the thing she hadn’t been brave enough to write but Helen had said already: 

“I love you too, Helen.” 

And the rest was silence.

#Doctor Who #fanfiction #liv chenka #helen sinclair #femslash #liv x helen #tula chenka #fluff #mild angst #feelings realisation

[thetruecthulhu9]

Hey anyone want to be crushed by the reality that in stopping the unknowing Jon became unknown to everything around him. He stops being Jon and becomes The Archivist and the only person who acknowledges that there's anything left of the person he was is Martin.

Nikola failed a doomed ritual but it still made the Archivist a Stranger

#jonathan sims #the unknowing #tma #the magnus archives #the archivist #writing this i also realised that it might have never been jon who loves martin #it was the Archivist abd it could be the eye holding onto its last assistant #ooo fic bait jon goes back before he was tied to the eye/before tim and sasha die and realises he hasnt got any feelings for Martin

[goldeneko]

we jujutsued. we kaisened. [chuckles] and by god we gojoed

#[referring to the manga] is he in there? can we get him out? #opened twt to take a study break only to realise jjk leaks were coming out right at that second #feeling insane besties !! #gege im exploding you with my mind #jjk236 #jjk spoilers #jujutsu kaisen